Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was amazing how they’d end up like this. Kaeya thought as he caressed Diluc’s hair, gently carding his fingers through threads of sunset fire. The unruly hair splayed over their picnic blanket. Kaeya had thought it a perfect day for an outing, with delicious food and cake included. It was Diluc's birthday, and his beloved deserved the best.

The skies had a different plan however, soon the sky darkened and heavy drops came crashing down onto the ground and on top of each other. Needless to say they had to run and take shelter under the great tree that grew close to the winery. The old willow could shelter them from the cold and rain, its ancient branches creating a shield from the outside world.

“Well, that was rather sudden,” Kaeya said, laughing at how his plan to pamper Diluc under the soft Mondstadt sun had been ruined. Diluc remained silent, pressing himself close to Kaeya’s chest, as if in a gentle embrace. Kaeya leaned against the trunk of the old willow, humming in thought before asking, “Firefly, are you cold?”

“No,” Diluc said softly, pressing his ear closer to Kaeya’s chest. The soft beating of a loving heart echoed through to Diluc’s soul. He had missed Kaeya, even though he had seen him just this morning, so much had happened since his last birthday they’d spent together. Too much. Even after years away, even after years since his return of cautious dancing around each other, of delicate approaches and of love spoken with half truths; of apologies whispered under a moonless night, and kisses stolen tasting of salty tears.

Diluc had still been afraid of Kaeya’s love, and of his deep seated guilt every time he saw the eyepatch upon Kaeya’s eye. Kaeya had always worn an eyepatch, and had seen him before without it, but after that night… No matter how much Kaeya had joked around about it, had then insisted it was fine. Diluc was afraid.

Afraid that once he saw the damage underneath, the damage he had caused in a moment of blinding anger, and stabbing betrayal. He would somehow lose Kaeya’s love, because how could Kaeya still love him after what he’d done? Kaeya never faulted him on it, not once, but Diluc himself did because he had hurt the person he loved the most in this world.

Diluc pressed closer to Kaeya’s chest if that was even possible, calmed by the heartbeat and later the warm hands that wrapped around his shoulders, and caressed his hair. The low vibrations from Kaeya’s humming further calmed him.

The rain would never usually bring that memory to surface, they rarely talked about it, and Diluc rarely thought about it. Yet the sudden downpour on this particular date reminded him much about that night.

He remembers the screams that came out of his lips, raging and poisonous, corrupted by the sadness of betrayal, and yet he does not remember the words that came. He remembers the claymore heavy upon his grip, and the fire sparkling to life as the fury had ignited it into a blaze. Remembers also the loud cry, pained and breathless where fire and metal had met skin and ice. Worst of all, he remembers the smell, burnt flesh, blood, and rain upon the earth.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, barely holding back tears at the memory that keeps flooding his mind. An eye filled with fear, but more so with a deep sadness, blood that seemed to endlessly drip down his beloved’s face, and a scream so torn that it ripped Diluc’s heart out at the sudden realization of what he had done.

“Diluc,” Kaeya said sternly, startling Diluc out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even realized that Kaeya had pushed him away from his embrace to cup his cheeks and force the glassy rubied eyes to look into the deep night of the starry one.

“You don’t-” Kaeya cut himself off with a sigh, trying to find proper words, different words to tell Diluc what he’d told him many times before when he’d caught his sweetheart staring at the eyepatch. 

“I am alright my love,” he concludes, thinking it best to show Diluc by pressing the pale cold palm against his right cheek, before adding, “see? You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Diluc’s muscles tensed as Kaeya led the hand close to the eyepatch, something that Diluc always bullied him for before was now something he avoided like the plague. Even in their intimacy, Diluc would not go anywhere near it, a certain fear etched upon his eyes anytime Kaeya was close to removing it.

Diluc’s breaths slowed after a while of gently allowing Kaeya to nuzzle against his hand. The rain, muffled by the thick canopy of leaves from the ancient willow, turned into a hushed drizzle. 

“Maybe, we can go home now,” Diluc said, wanting to escape his memories. Kaeya nodded, letting go of Diluc’s hand, but not before kissing the palm. “I can still give you your present back home,” Kaeya smiled as he extended his hand back at Diluc, and used the other to pull the curtain of weeping branches. Diluc took it gracefully, and held onto it like it was a precious treasure he’d never let go of.

A small smile peeked upon Diluc’s expression, and it warmed Kaeya enough to make it home under the pouring rain. Perhaps it was time they started to talk about that night, for even if forgiveness was asked for and given, it was definitely something Diluc still had to work through. Kaeya himself had, and he could now feel confident enough to say he could help Diluc with it, perhaps one step at a time.

The light drizzle had turned into a tempest when they reached the winery’s doors. Glad to be safe and warm, and with Adelinde fussing over them to get dried, Diluc felt more at ease and distracted from his thoughts. Adelinde prepared towels and hot water before taking leave, it had been part of Kaeya’s plan to have Diluc all to himself that night.

“Firefly,” Kaeya beckoned as Diluc finally emerged from the bathroom, red curls wet and eyes puffy and reddish. Kaeya only frowned as Diluc arrived to his side, wordlessly sitting down in front of Kaeya in an automatic fashion. It was something Kaeya loved doing for Diluc, even since they were kids. Drying and brushing Diluc’s hair, untangling the rebellious strands and rubbing the scalp with floral oils. A routine, a ritual they had become accustomed to once again, mostly at Kaeya’s insistence than Diluc’s willingness.

“Today, I got you, hmmm, four gifts,” Kaeya hummed gleefully, trying to improve his beloved’s mood, “which one would you like to enjoy first?”

“The first one,” Diluc said before Kaeya continued.

“You haven’t even heard of the options,” Kaeya pouted.

“Knowing you, you’ll just pout your way into making me choose a specific order,” Diluc waved his hand around in a show of not caring about the order. Of course, Kaeya complained and pouted some more. Diluc did smile, as he knew that Kaeya had always used such a tactic on him, using his sweet face and charms to trick and coerce him into doing mischief.

“Fine,” Kaeya huffed, finishing their routine up and standing to leave Diluc behind, “wait here, and close your eyes.” It was Diluc’s turn to huff, but he did as told after he moved to sit upon the bed, their bed.

There was shuffling in the adjacent room, of clothes and paper. A loud sound of something falling and a curse in a foreign ancient language, more shuffling and at last steps that become louder until the door to the bedroom opened and closed again.

“Don’t peek, just hold out your hand, I’ll grab onto it… don’t get startled my hands are a bit cold,” Kaeya said as Diluc followed his every word, although he did flinch a little when he felt the cold hands upon his outstretched one.

For a cryo user, Kaeya was usually very warm, even more so than Diluc. The only moments when he was colder was after he used his vision, so Diluc could only guess what Kaeya could have been up to. He heard a long deep breath escape Kaeya before his hand was grasped onto tightly.

“Whatever you feel, don’t pull away,” Kaeya said, almost as soft as a whisper, “just… feel it ok?”

Those words put Diluc on edge, but he trusted Kaeya, even when he talked back to him about his half-truths he would trust Kaeya in a beat. Diluc tried to relax as Kaeya’s cold hands held his, first he thumbed at his wrist, then at his palm, and then his fingers. Inch by inch he traced the joints, until he kissed the fingertips.

After another soft but shaky breath, though Diluc doesn’t know if it was his or Kaeya’s, he felt it. He was ready to jerk his hand back, but stayed because Kaeya had trusted him with this and he wanted to trust Kaeya too.

The eyelashes were soft, and even the skin around the eye was mostly smooth. He could barely feel a thin line of jagged skin, and if he felt correctly it ran from just above the cheekbone, over the eyelids, and almost reaching the brow. It felt so much better than what Diluc remembered of the burnt and wounded flesh, Diluc couldn’t help the sting that came upon his eyes as tears wanted to spill.

“Does it hurt?” Came the quiet question, barely above a murmur. He stopped moving his fingers, afraid that Kaeya might still feel sensitive, the roughness of his calloused hands would surely hurt.

“Of course not my love,” Kaeya said, and quickly added as he saw Diluc hesitate with furrowed eyebrows, “I enjoy your touch.” Diluc continued to trace the edges of the scar, slowly and meticulously as he mapped the feel of Kaeya’s skin in his memory, rewriting blood and tears with kisses and warmth, or so he hoped. He ended up cupping Kaeya’s cheek when it felt like too much.

“Your presents are quite unique Kaeya,” Diluc said, still with his eyes tightly shut. Kaeya held the palm against his cheek as he leaned in to kiss Diluc’s lips. A soft chuckle resounded among the sounds of the pitter patter of rain, “I am not done yet, but you can open your eyes now.”

“But your-” Diluc started, then bit on his lip, his eyes were still tightly closed as his brain went through many what-if scenarios, so much so that his breathing became quick and his face contorted into a difficult expression for Kaeya to decipher.

“Right, right, I should go put it back on and-”

“Wait,” Diluc said, trying to search for Kaeya’s hands with his eyes still closed in fear. Kaeya caught the searching hands and they held onto him tightly. Diluc, breathed in slowly, deeply and then, he opened his eyes to see the damage he had done. The mismatching starry eyes looked at him with worry and love, and not with the fear and hurt he once remembered.

The scar was just a bit lighter, but it had healed nicely and the pale eye was still as full of mischief and love as the first time Kaeya allowed him to see it. Wordlessly, Diluc held onto Kaeya’s cheeks and kissed upon the scarred eyelid. 

“Can you see well through it?”

Kaeya closed and covered the other eye, and looked at Diluc down from head to toe. The starry eye shook a bit from side to side as it inspected Diluc.

“You still look just as beautiful,” Kaeya announced after uncovering his other eye again, earning a playful hit from Diluc as he blushed shyly.

“That is not what I meant,” Diluc complained, and of course Kaeya knew, but how could Kaeya tell Diluc he could only focus on fragments of his vision, that the edges blurred into particles of elements and stardust. That he could see the very essence of the living and that Diluc’s soul was as bright as a sun in a dark void, his only light.

Of course nothing had changed since the accident, perhaps it got itchy sometimes but that was all.

“I can still see perfectly, as I said, beautiful,” he approached Diluc before kneeling in front of where Diluc sat.

“Now, I know you do not like to receive cut flowers often as you get sad when they wither, so…” Kaeya trailed off as he reached somewhere behind Diluc to retrieve a bouquet of flowers. The flowers looked like his favourite lamp grass, however upon closer inspection they were made out of ice.

“Lisa might have shown me a trick or two, so I made them long lasting,” Kaeya explained, looking rather proud of his accomplishment. The bouquet of lamp grass was made out of cryo, but it did not melt to the touch. Diluc wasn’t sure how Kaeya made the colours blend, but the soft glow came from a crystalfly core embedded among the petals. Diluc smiled, it was so lifelike that he thought he could smell its crisp winter-like scent.

“And then,” Kaeya added, coming to sit by Diluc’s side, “don’t move ok?”

His arms went behind Diluc’s neck, an attempt at putting on what Diluc assumed was a necklace. Kaeya seemed clumsy about the clasp.

“Oh, there are actually more gifts,” Diluc teased, to which Kaeya looked at him with a face that said ‘don’t you dare’, Diluc dared.

“I thought this would be like when I turned fourteen,” Diluc started, and Kaeya rolled his eyes and tried again to get the clasp to obey, “your idea of a ‘gift’ was so sweet, what was it again?”

“Please don’t, I will die of shame and embarrassment before I can put this thing on properly,” Kaeya said, just as he managed to clasp the necklace.

“Maybe you just got saved,” Diluc smirked, looking down at the necklace that now adorned his neck. The chain was thin and golden, ending in a branch-like tangle that held on to two stones, one red and one blue. The stones seemed to emit a dull light from them.

“Did you become a smith too?” Diluc asked.

“I did ask Wagner for help,” and in true Kaeya dramatics he winked at Diluc, and gave him a smug look, before theatrically holding Diluc’s hand and kissing it, “ but you could say, I did so for you my sweet Firefly.”

Diluc felt his face heat up, but faced Kaeya and declared, “yes, my Starlight.” Then he proceeded to look away at anything other than Kaeya, as he rarely used that nickname he’d come up with during their childhood. Diluc cleared his throat to make Kaeya focus on anything other than that nickname.

“Thank you for your gifts Kae,” he gave a sweet kiss at Kaeya’s cheek.

“Oh but, I have another gift for you,” Kaeya smiled, the kind of innocent smile that speaks of playfulness and mischief.

Diluc didn’t get to ask about it as he was tackled onto the bed. The sound of pouring rain and thunder drowned out the cries and moans of pure pleasure that the owner of the Dawn Winery screamed out into the night.