Archive of Our Own ^beta

1. Temple

Riz slowly settled into the seat, watching Fabian—looking smaller than he ever had in his life—curl up under his blankets across the room.

Something had broken Fabian’s spirit. And Riz didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t his best friend. It was some hollow shell of him. Riz didn’t know if he’d ever be able to bring the real Fabian back.

He sat there for a while, keeping watch—for what, though, he wasn’t sure.

After a few moments of silence, he was about to decide that Fabian was asleep, when a soft voice spoke up, making his ears perk up.

“The Ball.”

His voice was so soft and so hoarse, Riz almost thought he imagined it, especially since Fabian didn’t so much as twitch in bed.

“Yeah?” Riz asked quietly.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?”

“I am.”

“In the chair?”

Riz shifted. “It’s comfortable here. I’ll be fine. Go to bed.”

Fabian rolled over and looked at him. They watched each other for a moment.

“The Ball, just… come here, please.”

Riz hesitated. Then he slowly slid out of the seat and approached the bed.

Fabian tugged on the blanket and offered Riz a spot next to him, and Riz carefully climbed in, lying on his side so that he and Fabian were now face-to-face.

So, so broken. Riz hated looking at Fabian this way.

“I fucked up, Riz,” Fabian breathed, eye half-lidded in exhaustion. “I fucked up real bad.”

“I know,” Riz said softly. “It’s okay. You’re alive.”

Fabian’s gaze broke away.

Riz reached out a hand and gently brushed Fabian’s eye shut. “Go to sleep,” he whispered, and, before he could overthink it, he scooted forward and kissed Fabian very gently on the temple.

So light. So soft. He didn’t even know if Fabian felt it.

He probably didn’t. He was so tired, he probably wouldn’t remember this at all. Maybe Riz would have a lot of explaining to do when they woke up in the same bed the next morning. Whatever. That was a problem for tomorrow.

For now, he watched the empty echo of the bravest boy he knew drift into unconsciousness, only feeling it safe enough to finally close his eyes when he was sure Fabian was deeply asleep.

2. Forehead

Fabian was shivering cold. Freezing. The winds and the water were merciless as he felt the exhaustion weigh down on him, heavier and heavier.

Cathilda, next to him, was quiet but comforting as she guided his wobbling, shivering, shaking body across Leviathan. He clutched his soaked-through jacket in his arm and fisted his father’s eyepatch in his hand.

He wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. Every single person who cared about him, they didn’t deserve to be dragged down by his incompetence, he wasn’t fucking worth it, Chungle-Down Bim was right to abandon him, every single warlock pirate that had tried to fight on his side was fucking dead, he couldn’t imagine doing that to Cathilda, not to their hirelings, not to Adaine or Gorgug or Fig or Kristen or—

The Ball.

Fabian had a brief flash of the previous night. A small, comforting, grounding weight on the bed just next to him.

He was broken out of the memory just when he was trying to remember something that came at the tail end of it by a voice screaming hoarsely, “Fabian!”

Fabian looked up, and barely had time to react before The Ball was hurtling at him. Fabian, still shaky as a leaf and wobbly-kneed, fell to the ground.

And then Fabian was flat on his back, Riz’s face fully buried into his shirt.

“I thought you were fucking dead,” Riz rasped. Something clearly had damaged his vocal cords or something since the last time Fabian saw him. “I thought— I thought she was going to fucking kill you.”

And Fabian didn’t know what Riz meant, but he accepted the fierce hug, weakly reciprocating. Then, before he could react, Riz was pulling back from the hug, grabbing Fabian’s face, and pressing his lips to Fabian’s forehead.

Fabian blinked rapidly a few times as Riz hugged him again. “Don’t do that again, dude.”

“I’ll do my best, although it wasn’t exactly my choice.”

Riz nodded distractedly. Fabian didn’t have the heart to deny his best-friendship with Riz like he usually did. This time, it was nice to have someone who cared. More than nice, maybe.

As the other Bad Kids began filtering out of the Gold Gardens and asking Fabian if he was okay in hushed tones, Fabian stood up, although he found that Riz still clung to him tightly, unable to let go for another good ten minutes or so.

3. Cheek

Before Fabian left the Compass Points with Ragh, Riz wanted to very quickly check in with Fabian again.

He was pretty sure Fabian wasn’t going to run away again, but you could never be certain. At least Ragh was going with him, although Riz technically had basically traded Fabian’s life for Ragh’s mom’s, and even though Lydia Barkrock wasn’t dead, Riz wasn’t entirely sure what Ragh thought about Riz’s priorities, or whether Ragh would take it out on Fabian when worst came to worst. He was probably being paranoid like usual. He did his best to shake it off.

“Fabian,” he said quietly, glancing around, scared to be overheard. “You’re not going to run off. You’re not going to disappear on us again. Okay?”

“Of course not, The Ball.” Fabian waved it away like the statement was ridiculous, but they both knew that Fabian meant it.

“Okay, well… just… be careful. Don’t do stupid things.”

“Everything I do is pretty stupid.”

“Less stupid than normal, then.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Which was about as much as Riz could hope for.

Right before Fabian turned to go, he swayed for a moment, seeming to contemplate what to do next. Whatever it was Riz thought was going to happen, it was certainly nowhere near Fabian swooping down and kissing him on the cheek.

Riz froze. “What— what did you do that for?”

Fabian shrugged. “You— I just thought— maybe this is what— never mind. I’m going.”

He turned and ran. Riz was frozen on the spot for a few moments, then shook his head and turned around to join Kristen in their research.

4. Top of head

Breakfast was served warm and hot and courtesy of Cathilda and, surprisingly, help from Riz and Fig. Fabian moaned when he came out of his pillow fort in the corner of the Hangvan to smell and see beautiful golden pancake stacks.

Riz was sitting on the dash, holding a huge mug of coffee, while Cathilda was guiding Fig through flipping a pancake.

“We made breakfast,” Riz said unnecessarily upon seeing Fabian. His tail swished behind him as he swung his legs. Fabian felt a sense of gratitude wash over him. The warm smell was familiar and homey.

“Hell yes, The Ball!” Fabian bounded over to Riz and planted a kiss on top of his curls.

Riz seemed to freeze for a second and quickly began drinking out of his coffee. When he put it down, he was slightly blushing.

Fig flipped a pancake and whooped. After a few moments of cooking it, she plated it and handed it to Fabian cheerfully. “Eat up! We’re teleporting to Fallinel today!”

Fabian shot Riz another glance. Riz was studying at him carefully, but, upon their eyes meeting, he quickly looked back into his coffee mug.

5. Hand

Riz wasn’t one to dance, but there was a first time for everything.

Fabian was graceful and natural and beautiful in his dance. He was happy to see Fabian finally recover and become himself again, but with more grace and control and confidence.

Well, not exactly his old self again. There were still some things that were notably different.

Like, he thought as he held on tight to Fabian’s hand as he was guided to the dance floor, the kissing.

“Fabian,” he started, outside of the earshot of anyone nearby.

Fabian grinned, for the first time ever in a few days now. “What’s up?”

Riz paused, then said, “You keep… kissing me. Why?”

Fabian blinked. “Um. I don’t know. You did it first. I just thought, maybe… I don’t know.”

Riz let that stew in his mind for a moment, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted by Fabian grabbing his shoulders and pulling him into the place. He offered Riz a hand.

“Dance with me, won’t you?”

Riz laughed at the formality of it all. He wasn’t a princess or a lady in a ballroom. Fabian wasn’t some prince asking for a dance.

Except he may as well have been, the moon behind him reflecting off his beauty, making him basically sparkle.

Riz was no noble lady, but he still accepted Fabian’s outstretched hand and pressed a kiss between his knuckles. “Lead the way.”

And Fabian looked positively overjoyed.

6. Nose

Fabian was dizzy and high and drunk and stuffed with shrimp, so he couldn’t say for sure, but he was pretty sure the most beautiful thing in the world was in front of him, and that was Riz looking flushed and drunk and rumpled, sleeves rolled up to reveal his new tattoos and screaming along with everyone else, letting loose just like the time he got said tattoos.

Something in Fabian wanted to just grab Riz and hug him and squeeze him, hard. He stamped it down, though.

“Crab king!” Fabian screamed along with the others while Gorgug raised his beer and roared.

“I’m a little shrimp!” called out Riz, giggling and hiccuping, and oh gods, Fabian wanted him safe, wanted him protected.

Before he could keep track of what he was doing, he pulled his battle sheet out and wrapped it around Riz, who made a little sound before turning around to him, wide-eyed, pupils dilated so wide from drunkenness that they looked like they could swallow moonlight.

“I believe in you,” Fabian whispered. “Spring break.”

Then, he leaned forward and kissed Riz very lightly on the tip of his freckle-smattered nose as he gave him his very first Bardic Inspiration.

Riz grinned very widely. “Spring break,” he repeated.

And then Fabian was pulling the sheet away and Riz was climbing onto the table and chanting along with the others while Gorgug did a crab-stand, and Fabian was roaring alongside Ragh as Tracker tried to crawl around lobster-style, and everything in the night blurred together into colors and shapes and sensations that Fabian couldn’t begin to separate in his head.

Except for that moment. The one that Fabian was seriously starting to doubt really happened.

7. Love

Riz sat cross-legged in the van, next to Fabian, just quiet, wondering what he was thinking.

“So…” Riz said softly. “How are you doing?”

Fabian smiled. “Better. So much better.”

And that was… good.

Riz just took a moment to look at Fabian. Just look. Memorize what he looked like. Because the truth was, he was scared. It was the Nightmare Forest, of course he was. Still, he was scared that whatever that forest was going to show them, it would break Fabian even worse than Captain Whitclaw had.

But he had faith. Fabian was stronger now. Maybe everything would be alright.

“Can I… do you mind if I just try something real quick?” Riz asked.

Fabian raised an eyebrow. “Of course not. Go for it.”

Riz paused just a moment, then decided, screw it. He flitted forward and kissed Fabian. Properly.

The boy he loved. The boy who, maybe, loved him. His best friend.

He pulled back and blushed hard and looked away and wiped at his mouth, muttering apologies and insecurities and—

And Fabian grabbed him by the shoulders, effectively shutting him up. “About fucking time,” he said, grinning, before kissing him again.

And Riz felt the kiss’s warmth, from his lips to his entire body, and he relaxed.

Everything was going to be alright.

Fabian was going to be alright.

And whatever was in the future for them, they would just have to talk it out. But for now, Riz leaned in.