Archive of Our Own ^beta

[Part 1]

It is 9:32 on a Sunday night, and Haruka Sakura is trying to learn constellations. Most people wouldn't believe it, would laugh at the image. Sakura Haruka, split knuckles laid flat over a book about stars, barely lit by the moon. 

Insanity.

Maybe that's the only reason he lets himself get away with it. Nobody needs to know these things. They are for him, alone.

It's not like this is the first time, but he hopes that this is the last. Because learning the constellations means sleepless nights, and if he's learning constellations he's thinking about stars. And when he thinks about stars all he can remember is his sister telling him, with these bright, wondered eyes that the light he sees from them is actually from decades, and lifetimes ago.

("What would happen if one just disapeared?")

Sakura is not smart, or poetic. He doesn't understand how a dead star can still shine, and he doesn't understand why it makes his chest hurt when he thinks about it. He's not made for beautiful things. They're too much for him, complex where he is simple and brave where he is scared. They fill him up to the shoulders and make him feel like they will drown him in their violence.

But now he's trying to connect the Orion's Belt to his body, he's trying to find the scorpion that killed him, painted next to him in a stupid display of irony.

When he can't find the rest of the soldier, he gives up. Sakura kinda hated that myth anyways.

Under Orion, as Sakura wraps his split hands in bandages, Nirei's knuckles crack open.

Nirei ducks. Suo's foot swings through the air above him but Nirei still flinches. The sharp sound of air being cut plants the seedling of a headache in the back of Nirei's skull. He shifts his weight, takes a half step with his leading foot, and then tucks his shoulder into his chest. In a clumsy movement, he rolls over his shoulder, putting space between the two of them.

His form is poor and he pays for it with the ache in his shoulder, but the feeling fades when Suo looks back over to him.

Suo is all sharp: He is the elegant curve of a boning knife and the rock in the river Nirei cut himself on in the summers of childhood. Suo is the river that almost killed him when he was young--reckless, sweeping him up in it's barreling arms to make him into something broken.

At least, that's what it feels like right now.

Suo has already caught his balance, hands still tucked neatly behind his back. His lips move but Nirei can't hear what he's saying over the crashing of his breath. He takes another half step back, knee buckling. Suo is slow to close the gap again, walking in what Nirei's learning is taunt, feet swinging in lazy arcs. Sharp. Elegant. Deadly.

The shadow of his fingers twitch over the dark green blades of grass. He shifts his weight. A punch?

Suo lunges again, closing the distance in a second. Nirei looks from his shoulder loosening out of it's tense hold. A palm strike? No! Suo's looking down at his ankle--

His feet are swept under him, body flipping in a heavy motion. His headache blooms in pain as the back of his head dents into the dirt. At least it's cool and soft, he thinks, as the moisture seeps into his hair. He closes his eyes against the harsh lamplight of the apartment porch.

Suo is quiet for a moment, whether gloating or resting he couldn't be sure. Nirei is greatful for every moment of silence. Cicadas judge him from their safe palace of wild grass. 

"So. What mistake did you make?"

Nirei has to bite of the embarrassment from his voice as he speaks, "I fell for your bluff. Saw you..." He gasps, heart thudding, "Saw you move your hands. I thought you were going for a punch and then I hesitated."

Suo hums, "Ah, I see."

Nirei forces himself to sit up, squinting up at the boy silhouetted in the orange-white glow of Furin lighting. It gives him a halo effect, earring glittering. "What, Did I do something else wrong?"

"No, or well, yes. But I'm impressed you noticed that," Suo smiles and turns around to the stairs of the apartment complex, "Let's take a break."

"No, it's fine! I'm good! I--" He huffs, "I stood up too tall right? That's why you could sweep my feet out. Le- Let me try again."

Suo won't look at him, back turned, hands tucked neatly. His word is final. What, is Nirei a toddler?

Suo keeps walking until his toes meet the rotten wooden staircase. "Rest is just as important as training, although I do appreciate the spirit. You're making great progress."

He wants to laugh at that. Nirei is making progress the way a human does in comparison to a horse.

The bruise at Nirei's ankle throbs. His calf muscle spasms. Faintly, he thinks he can hear a high pitched ringing. "Okay," He says instead, standing to lead Suo back to his apartment. It's become a routine now and so he doesn't bother with asking Suo if he wants to come in, who now follows within two paces in Nirei's wake.

"Your water heater still broken?" He asks once his breath steadys.

"Yep," he grins. Between them, one of the wooden steps creak.

"You can shower here, I can lend you spare clothes again if you need," Nirei says knowing full well he saw an extra pair of clothes in his bag at lunch today.

"Ah, if you insist."

Two days ago, Suo had mentioned offhandedly about his water heater breaking. Although the subtle social nuance flew over Sakura's head, Nirei offered up his place if he needed anything. The past two days, Nirei found himself making tea for two while Suo used his shower. Funny part about that is he managed to make it seem like it was Nirei asking the favor of him.

If Nirei was different, or more accurately if this was anyone else besides Suo, it would probably irk him.

Suo delicately toes off his shoes at the door, attention being drawn to Chuck; Nirei's 120 pound Newfoundland dog, slobber down his chin and smelling faintly of corn.

"Hello, Mr.Chuck," he greets.

Nirei finds he doesn't mind the extra hour or so he's been spending with his friend. It's new and intimate, and he feels like a girl for thinking it, but he wouldn't mind if he stuck around more.

Nirei lets Suo shower first, taking the time to make some tea for his guest and heat up the leftovers his mom packed into the fridge. She made pho, which she's notoriously terrible at making, but at almost midnight his standards drop considerably.

Suo, a deceptively terrible house guest, takes twenty five minutes to shower and in that time Nirei manages to sink his mind into the depths of worry. It's just under 38 hours until Furin's turf war. 38 hours, and he's still struggling to keep his balance, forget landing a punch that will hit it's target. At least Suo taught him how to punch something properly. Last time he tried he almost broke his thumb.

Ah.

He wants to text Sakura. That, more than anything, makes him feel like a girl. But he can't help it. Sakura is strong and straightforward and honest. Although he appreciates Suo's presence, Sakura is just, well, Sakura.

"Do you not use conditioner?"

Nirei jolts. He could swear to god, Sou came out of nowhere. He sits down on the couch end opposite to Nirei, grey-blue towel draped over his head like a wig. His skin is flushed a violent red that makes Nirei concerned he's boiling himself alive in the shower.

"No, You do?"

He rubs his hair dry with the towel, stray waterdroplets rolling down his shoulder and under his t-shirt collar. "Yeah, otherwise it gets tangly."

Nirei hums, checks his notification-less screen, and admonishes himself for the weird feeling that hits him because of it. He's being stupid. He abandons it to the coffee table. "I'm gonna shower, feel free to anything in the fridge."

The last two nights, Suo had disappeared by the time Nirei was done with his shower, but tonight he's apparently in a social mood. When Nirei walks out, he's sitting with a teacup perched in his palm. He's poking through Nirei's schoolbag, and oh shit.

"Suo-san! Don't look through that!"

He doesn't even have the modesty to look ashamed at being caught snooping, instead tossing the notebook he's snagged back into his bag. "Apologies, I couldn't help but be curous how to managed to memorize every student's name at school. For your information I don't have a coin purse."

Nirei blushes, digging into the bag and recovering the book. Suo has that carbon copy half-smile he always does, but there's a cheek there too. He's such an ass. "Liar, I saw you had one at the bakery on like, the second week of school."

"You must be remembering wrong."

"I'm not."

Suo shrugs with the confidence of a man assured he's right. Nirei lets the topic drop, moving back over to sit and let his legs rest. Admittedly, it's a bit awkward. He hasn't had people over this late since he was in elementry, when sleepovers were still a thing he did.

Well, at least to Nirei. Suo doesn't look the least bit awkward, comfortably nursing a tea cup in his hands. He seems too poised at all times. When Nirei is honest with himself, especially lately, he can admit he's jealous. Who wouldn't be? He has the skill, he has the confidence. For a while, he thought he was rich or something, but no. He was frugal and careful with his money.

The questions bubble up under his tongue, but that feels too personal. He's hard to read, even harder to tell if you've accidentally offended him. Best to be careful.

He places his cup down with a soft tink. "You're doing very well, It's not often I see someone improve this fast." 

"Thank you," he says, though he doesn't really feel it. "It's all thanks to you, you're a really great teacher. Which, do you have experience teaching? You're weirdly good at it, not that it's weird for you to be good at something! The opposite, really. Just, you're going really far just for me."

"I just enjoy it is all, but no I haven't had a student before."

Nirei is surprised by his own laugh, "A student? Should I start calling you 'Master'?"

"If you want to," He says, again, with absolutely no shame, "I am teaching you after all. But not around Sakura," He puts his fingers to his lips, "It's a secret."

Nirei nods. He is excited about that. Embarassingly enough, he's been daydreaming about showing off his skills to Sakura. Usually it involved flashy  moves and saving him from certain doom in a dramatic display, but nobody needs to know that. Some things are better kept to yourself, after all. On the table, a phone buzzes in a low sound. Nirei checks his. It must've been Suo's phone. He doesn't move to check it--right. He doesn't go on his phone around company. He doesn't even seem to register his phone buzzed.

"Hey, you can go on your phone around me ya'know. It doesn't bother me."

He shrugs, "It's probably not anything important," he pauses. He looks more thoughtful than usual, eyes lingering on Nirei and his phone screen where it's open to his texts with Sakura. "May I ask you an invasive question?"

How rare. "Of course, we're friends."

His eyes dig into Nirei's like bullets. "Do you like Sakura?"

"Oh, well yeah of course I do--"

Suo huffs a laugh, "Not like that. Do you have feelings for him?"

The silence after he speaks is frigid, sending a coil of tension through his back. He can hear his throat click as he swallows around the lie in his throat. No. Why would he say that? Why would he have feelings for Sakura? Then, quieter, he thinks, is it that obvious? To anyone else, he'd lie, but Suo is only asking because he already knows the answer. Nirei forces out a laugh, if anything then to be an excuse to break the suppressive weight of Suo's eye contact.

"Is it really that obvious?" He mumbles, face starting to burn with the admission.

"Not really. I just happened to notice a few things, don't worry, he doesn't know."

His heart thumps painfully, "Why do you ask, Has he mentioned something?" The 'someone else' is implied.

The steam of Suo's tea has slowed to a slow, constant billowing, moving lazily up and brushing past his face as he takes another sip. It's a new one Nirei got at Suo's recommendation and since has become his favorite flavor. The earthy rooibose smell is the only thing acting to calm his nerves as the silence drags on. Is he doing this on purpose? Finally, he puts down the cup again, steam swirling delicately. "No I haven't. If I even tried to bring something like that up I'm afraid his face might boil from how red his face gets. Though yours is close behind."

Nirei's face does burn. That does not help it at all. He burrows his cheeks in his palm, practically winded by the force of humiliation hitting him. "So uhm, what gave it away?"

"It's just, every time you open your phone it's open to your texts with Sakura," Nirei wilts. "And when we go to the store you always almost buy him something but then put it back last minute. And--"

"I guess it was pretty obvious, huh."

"Well I mean, not necessarily."

Nirei, sometimes, can easily understand why Suo gets on Sakura's nerves. But still, he knows he's not just doing it because he feels like it, there's a point to this. He migrates his palm from his face to his neck where the blush seems to be travelling. How embarassing. He's getting way to flustered over someone he basically has some little-kid crush on. "It's not like a big deal. It's not even like an actual crush I just respect him! I don't-- I'm not usually like this."

"Into guys?"

Would it kill him to be a little less blunt sometimes? His headache creeps forward to the front of his brain with a sharp feeling. "Yeah, that."

"Sometimes you just meet people like that," Suo draws his ankle over his knee, the image of unsurprised. Well it's not like he expected Suo to react poorly, knowing he had no problem with Tsubakino.

"Like what?"

"People you can't help but fall for."

Nirei think's its weird, how he says that, but in all honesty he doesn't have the courage to pry. "I guess... but why do you ask?"

The smoke from Suo's cup has stopped, sitting between them barely touched. He chugs it down in the next sip and stands, "Do you not talk about your crushes with friends?"

This feels different, somehow, but he can't say that, so he just nods and stands with him. "Fair enough."

"Thank you for the tea and letting me borrow your shower, my water never gets that warm."

"Of course, I'll walk you out."

Suo gives a goodbye pat to Chuck accompanied by a kiss on the forehead, only to let out a heavy sneeze. After noticing his eyes have gone a bit stuffy he makes a mental note that Suo might be allergic to animals and waves him goodbye.

"Hey, uhm, you won't tell him right?"

Suo's face is again cut by the harsh lights of his apartment doors. His smile looks a little sharp as he brings his pointer finger to his lips, and Nirei's starting to grow accustomed to that, he thinks. "It'll be our little secret."

It leaves Nirei concerned, even if he knows Suo is being completely honest. Not two minutes later, as he drags into bed, his phone buzzes.

[>hey do u remember that tape you were talking about the other day for like sore knees could i borrow some? (12:03)]

[KT tape? Of course! I'll bring some tomorrow. With that you'll be unstoppable! >:D (12:04)<]

It's the same boy tonight, the third time in a row now. He's late but this is the only deviation in his pattern, moving with a purpose few people practiced in gas stations. He grabs his unsweetened green tea from the back of the store and then a yogurt cup. He then lingers for two minutes in front of the aisle compiling of trinkets and gadgets, flirting with items there before abandoning them entirely. The clerk likes watching him, something needed as a third shift worker. He is perfectly polite and doesn't look quite like he belongs in a gas station, and she likes to romanticise what he's doing out so late at night.

He approaches the counter, giving a sweet smile.

"Hello again," she is practiced now as she takes the cold aluminum from the boy. The beep of the item interrupts his "hello" in response.

"Finally buying it today, I see? And I was planning on asking for your number too."

"Excuse me?"

She blushes, looking at the new addition today. It's a small Sakura flower charm. "That charm, is it not for a girl?"

His expression is subtle as his eyebrows raise, lips quirk, "For my little sister. She's so spoiled."

"I see."

She scans it, packing it gently into a plastic bag. "Does that mean your number is free for the asking?"

He takes the bag from her with a polite nod and whispered thanks, "I'm flattered! I'm very sorry, it belongs to somebody else."

"Ah, well, she's a lucky girl."

He's already turning away, and the cashier can't help but feel like a bug smashing into a windshield. His smile cuts at her.

"You're too kind. Have a good night."

"You too."

She only realizes once he's left her sight that he'd somehow, accidentally left the pin on the checkout counter. She debates chasing after him, but well, that's not really her job if he forgets something. At the end of her shift, when the boy has yet to return for his prize, she goes home with a pocket slightly heavier that usual.

"How can he just— Just like that when—!"

Sakura is doing an exceptional job explaining his feelings today, Suo thinks, watching as Sakura's face burns a deep burgundy red. He's half covering his eyes, maybe trying to shield himself from what's happening? It truly is an academic endeavor to understand him.

Fortunately for Sakura, Suho is more than glad to be his scholar.

"Ah! That's perfect—We can go on patrol together today, and then stop by the animal shelter," Tsubakino says at Umemia's side.

"Sure. Oh hey, Mizuki don't you volunteer there? You should come with us... Oh c'mon, it'll be fun!"

Attempt thwarted. Tsubakino hides his disappointment with a sigh.

Suo pulls his attention back on the task before him, hands delved into the delicate roots of a tomato plant. They've been getting ravaged by thornworms and Umemiya practically begged the students to help him. So for the past few days, he'd been getting to school an hour early to help. Suho had decided to help, maybe gain the favor of the upperclassmen who still seemed hesitant at Sakura's presence. An outsider. Unwittingly, he'd become very good at the replanting process in the meanwhile.

According to Umemiya, Suo has a bright future in gardening.

"They're just talking, Sakura, is even that too much?" He teases, but it doesn't have the edge he intends.

Transplanting is delicate work, and he doesn't want to be the one responsible for any damages. On the other hand, be too careful, be too good, and Sugishita will have his head.

"Well! It's just-- It's seven in the-- Oh never mind."

Sakura is not allowed to help in the transplanting process. In all honestly, Suo was surprised he was going. Most students, as dedicated as they were, were either too nervous to help or, would rather spend their morning sleeping in as long as possible.

Turns out that Sakura is always at school early. Suo wasn't sure what to do with that information, though he wasn't stupid. He could guess as to why.

"How will you ever get a girlfriend if you're this shy?"

Sakura accidentally crushes a hornworm between his pointer and thumb. Suo cringes when he wipes the guts off on the cuff of his school pants. "I'm not looking for a... a gi--," He bites his cheek, "I don't want one."

"I guess you're just not there yet."

Sakura doesn't respond to his comment, but it's all for the best as Suo sinks his hands into the tomato plant's new home next to the basil. Suo is not entirely sure why next to the basil, but if that's what the fearless leader of Furin High School wants, then it will be done. And so down it goes.

The process, he likes it. He gets why Umemiya encourages them all to pick up a shovel and start their own garden. It rewards diligence and patience; it's fitting for the man. Though a bit too slow for Suo's taste. He favors something he can sink his teeth into, controlling the way each and everything would shape into place. Then again, he is a bit like a gardener with Nirei, no? Maybe it is the same after all.

He packs the soil down gently. The smell of basil and freshly tilled dirt is one he is going to miss one day, so he tries to take it all in now.

"Look at that, all done," He says.

He looks to Sakura and, oh. He's left. Without a goodbye isn't exactly uncommon, but right in the middle of a conversation is a new one. Suo bites the inside of his cheek. Did he say something wrong, or did he not feel like sticking around? Suo sighs and pushes the thought to the side. He's probably just overwhelmed. He often is most days, Suho's not known him a day he wasn't.

Still...

"He can be so childish sometimes," He confesses to the tomatoes.

They nod their leaves back at him. Tomatoes make good listeners.

Sakura's sitting at his desk, head burrowed so deep into his elbows it looks like he's sleeping. It's quiet, today. More than a few boys are pointedly absent, which isn't uncommon for Furin. Delinquents, no matter how softhearted, are still delinquents. Skipping, bad grades, spray paint, even a little bit of an illegal market running during lunches.

If anything, Sakura was a star student in that regard with near-perfect attendance. Nirei sits down at his seat behind him, and if he admires the cool split of his hair, well, nobody needs to know.

Moments like these are the perfect chances to catalog the little details. While he sleeps, Nirei learns Sakura bites his nails, but only the thumb and pointer on his right hand. His uniform is a little worse for wear, fraying at the sleeves already. There's a poorly washed bloodstain on his collar, and he has a small bald spot at the bottom of his hair part.

Of course, it's all completely useless information. It's stupid to pay attention to. He shakes himself out of his daze and pulls out his school stuff. Two pencils (one extra, one because Sakura always forgets his), a half-used notebook for class notes, and a worn-to-the-binding pocket notebook filled with enough information to be considered a threat to school security.

Behind him, a desk chair scoots.

"Aww, is the Class Captain getting his nap in?"

Suho saddles up near Nirei with a glint in his eye.

"Don't tease him when he can't defend himself," Nirei says.

"I'm not teasing him. He's working hard, up early to help with the garden," Then, slyly he adds, "Been enjoying the vie—?"

Nirei whips around, quite possibly the fastest he's ever reacted to something, slamming his textbook down on Suo's desk. It misses his fingers by a few inches. Suo doesn't even have the decency to flinch or act bashful. Nirei hopes his expression conveys the absolute not-okayness with what he was just about to say but, before he can comment further, a raspy voice pulls his attention.

"Whose throwin' shit? Someone wanna— oh it's just you," Sakura's eyes reveal he was, in fact, sleeping, dark and dry at the corners.

He blinks once, twice, rubs his eyes, and then plops his head back down.

"He's starting to resemble Sugishita."

Sakura jumps to alertness, "What did you say, punk!"

"Oh, Welcome back to the waking world, Sakura."

There's a bit of genuine heat to it, though if you asked Nirei to explain why, he couldn't say. Something is just wrong. There's a chill in the air he knows to associate with a fight, bubbling between them. Everyone in this school, even Nirei, knows what it feels like, and the whole room seems to shift slightly around it. Space is made. Nirei feels eyes on the back of his skull. It's not even first period yet.

Sakura's fist clench. Suho smiles. It is a recipe for disaster.

"Guys, hey..." Nirei says, but his worrying is overblown, Sakura easily falls back onto the seat of his chair.

Kiryu catches his eye, two chairs down. It's not longer than a second, but it affirms what Nirei feels. That was weird.

Suo doesn't comment , just turning to Nirei, "Hey, I forgot my pencil, could I borrow one?"

He only has two, one he always gives to Sakura. But, well, he did ask first. "Yeah. Of course."

He smiles, wide and so sweet it makes Nirei feel a bit ill. His fingers brush against Nirei's as he plucks it from him.

"Thanks, Nei-kun, you're the best."

Weirdness has a way of being forgotten when there are bigger matters at hand. At least, you would hope so.

"You. Let's spar."

"Who?" Suo asks, ignoring the finger pointed between his eyes.

"Fight me."

He really is childish, Suo thinks, pushing to a stand. In the last hour, Sakura had been not unlike a hurricane, making his way through any of the first years willing to take him on. Not too far off, Tsugeura had a dazed look as he stumbled over to the makeshift lemonade stand Nirei was hosting. The whole day he's been like this. Sakura ate alone at lunch and nearly got into a fight with their English teacher. And Suo could easily guess why, turf war looming over their heads like a guillotine. But that didn't make it okay for him to act this way.

Again, it is childish. Childishness really bugs Suo.

"Alright," He pulls his elbows close to his body, a fighting stance, "You make the first move."

Sakura's eyes sharpen as he raises his fists up to his eyes. He drops his right foot back, body lowering in weight. There's already a thick line of sweat along his brow. His left cheek has a deep yellow bruise that's still refusing to heal and a cut along his jaw that keeps reopening. He a beaten-down dog, locked onto Suo. To the ignorant eye, he looks like an easy target compared to Suo. But Suo knows better.

In a real fight, he would never win. But a sparring match? Well, Suo can manage that.

Sakura's weight shifts, dropping just slightly, and Suo prepares for his lunge. His go-to is a straight jab, lacking all concern for a counter. Suo dodges the punch, guiding his fist with a push past his head. Sakura continues the motion, dropping his other arm from its protective shell around his head. He's going for a grapple. Suo grabs at Sakura's right arm and shoves it back, twisting his shoulder. With his free hand, he shoves down on the twisted shoulder as Sakura barrels into his body.

It must hurt, muscles straining under his palm, but Sakura doesn't show it. His whole back is exposed. If Suo could throw a punch with any real weight, he could do some real damage. He's too reckless, Suo thinks. Sakura's hand furrows in the back of his uniform, pulling down on it. In the struggle, Suo loses his grip on Sakura's wrist and pays the price for it, his arm swooping down and wrapping around his side. The arms around him tighten like a snake, and in an instant, he's being lifted from the ground.

Sakura bends back, hurtling Suo's body weight to the floor. If he catches himself with his hands, his wrists will break. Suo's being clumsy, too.

Right before he slams headfirst into the ground he tucks his head into his shoulders, wraps his legs around Sakura's back, and uses his momentum to bring Sakura down with him. The landing is not easy on his body, but Saura seems to take the brunt of it, locked under Suo's ankles. Using the split-second recovery time Sakura needs, he escapes from his hold, pushing him back with his feet and getting to a stand.

Sakura's most dangerous when he's up close, and though he doesn't prefer grappling he can be like a vice when he needs to. Suo will keep the upper hand from putting distance in between them. Sakura wastes no time on the floor, closing the gap with a quick lung into Suo's space. A left hook.

Suo ducks under and kicks in his knee, making him lose his balance. That's more like it. With the advantage of Sakura's back being turned to him, he gives him a playful kick to his backside. His seemingly supernatural sense of balance saves him, spreading his stance wide.

"Stop messin' around!"

"I'm fighting normally."

"Then stop--"Sakura snarls, unrelenting, jumping so close their faces are less than a foot apart. "--dodging, and fight me!"

His fists hurtle upward in a violent uppercut. It just barely misses Suo's face, but he hears the wind on it next to his ear. Scary.

Suo smiles down at him before landing a heavy knee into Sakura's stomach followed by a shove into his shoulders, once again putting space between the two.

It's obvious what Sakura wants by the way he's been acting. He wants something violent and fierce and bloody. Why he's going for Suo for the fight and not Sugishita, was the curious part. Suo has no intention of going along with his game. If anything, this frustration just makes him want to push Sakura's buttons more.

"I don't see why I should, this is how I always fight, Sakura."

"And stop sayin' my name so much!"

This time, Suo dodges entirely when Sakura lunges at him. All things considered, he's a good match-up. Sakura's most dangerous when he goes against people who feed into his strength, like putting wood into a fire. The stronger his opponent, the stronger he gets.

But why is he so firery out of the gate like this?

Nirei would probably talk it out. He would gently pry at Sakura like a skilled watchmaker delicately breaking apart his clockwork. Suo is not so patient. It's much easier to just poke the bear and see where it goes.

"You're so scary when you fight!" He laughs.

Sakura goes for another punch, and then another, gaining ground. It's kind of fun, weaving around his fists. Unexpectedly, Sakura smiles. With Suo's next dodge, his back hits a wall. Sakura closes in on him with a nasty grin.

"Liar."

One hand burrows into his collar and the other lands an inch from his head, into the concrete behind them.

"Scared my ass, you're having fun."

Sakura really is a terrible influence. He's childish. He struggles to do things that aren't his way. So why can't he stop smiling?

"Looks like you got me. You win." He raises his hands in defeat, "All ready for tomorrow?"

Sakura's grin disappears behind a flat mask. Ah, there it is. The problem. He lets go of Suo's collar, dropping away to give him space. In an instant, there's a role reversal. Sakura tries to put space as Suo presses into his.

"We'll take those bastards on, no problem."

Even he doesn't sound like he believes it, and Suo can already see his eyes shifting around the room. Looking for his next fight. What a monster. Suo drops a hand onto his shoulder, pulling his attention the best he can.

"I'm sure you will do incredible."

Sakura stops in his tracks, staring out at nothing. Then, his face blooms into red. Sometimes it's really too easy.

"Shuddup," he says, shoving the handoff.

He lets Sakura go, making a path for the lemonade stand. From the looks of it, students are already packing up their things. It's been a few hours, after all. Plus, he needs to save some energy to work with Nirei later tonight. Thankfully enough, his teachers were gracious enough to give them an extension on their homework, with the Turf War and all. Very considerate.

"You've been really working hard!" Nirei compliments, handing a cup to Sakura.

Sakura shrugs. This is what he always does. "It's just sparring, nothing 'special about it."

"Right..."

Sakura drinks small, measured sips. Nirei fidgets with his thumb, looking from Sakura to the crowd of people, to Sakura to the table. 

Is this silence... normal? He takes another drink to justify not speaking and flinches from the citrus. Distractedly, looking for anything to pay attention to, he looks over to Tsugeura whose playfulling trading blows with... with...

He frowns, "Nirei what is his name again..."

"Which one?"

"The guy sparring with Tsugeura."

"Oh! That's Kakiuchi. He's close with Anzai," Nirei brings an unconscious thumb to his lip, "He's really into skincare I think? Are you curious about his fighting? He's a grappler! Especially chokeholds. It's crazy scary, so you have to be careful with him. You would do best trying to stay behind him, I'd argue. You're fast enough to."

Sakura can't help himself from giving a wide-eyed look at Nirei. He snaps out of his monologue like breaking from some trance. "Sorry," he laughs, "I got carried away."

"No- No, it's," Sakura's tongue feels uselessly heavy in his mouth, "Glad yer my vice. Thanks."

A different awkwardness takes its place as Nirei's eyes go all wide and watery, like some great well pooling.

"I'm  really glad you let me."

"Let you? I'd be hated by everyone by now without you helping me out," The comment makes him want to crawl out of his skin.

"Sakura, that's not true."

Sakura looks away. That was the wrong thing to say. "I'm just sayin'... you're plenty helpful."

"I'm glad."

Silence dawns on them again, and Sakura decides to call it there, tossing his cup across the table to the trash. "Right, I wanna get one more good fight in before everybody leaves."

"Alright, also! I have that KT tape in my bag, I can show you how to put it on. I used to get sprains a lot so I think I can help, at least."

Sakura nods.

"And another also, are you busy tonight?"

Sakura looks back at Nirei. His eyes are wide, almost a little desperate. He looks not unlike an excitable puppy. Sakura really, really wants to say he is busy. He has training to do. "It has to do with tomorrow," He interjects before Sakura can properly deny him.

"Oh-- yeah, sure. We can meet up."

Nirei grins fiercely, "Great! I'll pack this up and then you, Suo, and I can go."

Sakura has no chance of denying him.

Suo and Nirei don't waste time on the bridge. Once the guys there had been properly beaten and scared off, they practically raced to find Sakura at the heart of the school. Togame trailed behind them, and for all that Suo was grateful for his help, he couldn't say he was too pleased by his presence. But well, it's not his place.

As he races with the two of them to get to the school, his worry only grows. Sakura can be stupid when he wants to be. Can start fights he can't finish and say things he shouldn't, and even trust people in ways he shouldn't either.

His worries are confirmed when he finally reaches the gates of the school. In front of him, Sakura's chest is being crushed under the boot of a tall man with frizzy curls. In front of him, Sakura's mumbling something that sounds too close in tone to a goodbye, too much like an apology.

There is a key difference between Suo and Sakura, and Nirei in times like these.

That is: Suo is not a good person.

So, when he sees Sakura bloodied on the floor—Eyes red and face swollen, expression pulled into unnaturally bulging curves and dark purple hues—his immediate reaction is simple. He wants Endo dead. He wants to carve a blade along the lines of his tattoos, watch as neat black lines split into deep, fleshy canyons. He can see it, the puff of skin trying to pull apart when cut.

Suo would sink his fingers under the flaps and separate, layer by layer. Epidermise, dermis, hypodermis. Unneat, messy sheets flaying off.

Suo is not a good person.

Moments like these, though, make him forget he's trying to be.

Togame and Hiragi immediately get the two separated, and for that, Suo is grateful. He's greedy. He wants to be by Sakura's side. He wants to be the first person there, the last, the in between. He wants to fold this hurt Sakura into his pocket and protect him there forever.

He closes in on Sakura in three steps. The injury is plain on his face in the late-day sun. Horrific. Bloody. Painful. Yet still Sakura.

Nirei and he both manage not to panic. Nirei closes in on Sakura, and Suo has to fight back the urge to pull him away. Sakura needs space, but Nirei probably needs to be close to him just as much in this moment. He'll pick Nirei's comfort over Sakura's, even now. He's not sure what that says about him.

"Are you okay, Sakura?!" Nirei presses.

Sakura doesn't look at either of them. Not anyone, just stares... somewhere. His hands shake from where they're holding his weight behind him, and his pupils are small pinpricks, making Suo wonder if any light is going through them at all. His whole body is shaking.

Suo surveys and catalogs every injury, but eventually has to give up counting. He's sure Nirei will remember every cut and scratch, but all Suo sees is the purpling around his neck.

Suffocation in long instances leads to severe and permanent brain damage. Memory loss. Suo can't— he can't—

What can he do?

Severe injuries. Check for severe injuries. Stop any bleeding.

Sakura's bones look straight, and there doesn't seem to be any knife or stab wounds. Not that he'd expect it, but who knows? His breath is erratic, but doesn't sound weird or pained—no collapsed lung. Well, no, his breathing does sound pained, a high whine of in, in innn.... out. In, in, in.... out.

He'll pass out like this. Suo reaches down to try and ground Sakura with a touch.

"No!"

Sakura shoves him away, hunching in on himself. His shoulders shake. Suo's instinct wins, and he looks up to catch Nirei's eye, as if that will help explain what to do, but Nirei's gaze doesn't waver. Suho can't help but think, his devotion is so obvious. How could he ever hope to hide it?

It's obvious, he's carving this into his brain. Suo wants to save him from this, but he cannot. He can't do anything.

"...to me..." Sakura mumbles to the floor.

"What, Sakura? Did something break...?" Suo says, as gently as he can muster.

"Everyone..." His voice is rough, his words a little slurred, "Everyone was counting on me. But I— Everyone is gonna suffer... and it's my fault..."

Sakura has always exuded this untangible feeling of melancholy. It's subtle, most days. An apology awkwardly jammed in between lunches; a hesitant and haunting three dots typing on a text bar, only to dissapear as if it never was; an empty five by eight bedroom and rusting burner oven; a flinch for every graze and look and compliment, from fear or guilt or both or something Suo cannot understand.

Suo sees it in these glimpses, and despite his barren room, Sakura is a hoarder. His floor is covered in a thick layer of sorrow, and guilt stains the walls, and isolation floats around like dust, brownian, erratic, clinging to noses and eyes.  But always hidden. Tucked behind a door.

But Endo, whatever he had done or said or implied, has torn down that wall. Sakura is a gaping wound, an art gallery to be put on display—

No. No poetry.

Sakura needs help, there is no time for this.

Before he can speak, Sugishita appears to land a punch on the back of Sakura's head. Suo understands why. They want him around. Why can't he understand that? Sometimes lessons are best taught brutally, and this one might need to be forced into Sakura's skull.

Well, now is a time to prove it.

Nirei grabs him by his collar, and Suo has greatly misunderstood a fundamental part of him, because his eyes are alight. He is not lost. He is not scared. His breath is ragged and his nose flaring, and when he speaks, it is a thunder.

"Are you kidding, Sakura!? Look at us! What are you doing? We are here for you! Do you even know how much you mean to m—us? Let us help you! Don't you dare leave us because I promise you— I—" He looks up, around them to where Endo is pushing back Hiragi and Togame easily, as if they are nothing. "I will fight him myself before you leave with him!"

Cowards love these words. The 'let me do it's and 'I'll save you's. Weak fighters shake at the challenge of someone stronger than them, brave or not.

Nirei is none of these things as he pushes away from his friend, rounding on the man. He is serious and stupid and... beautiful. Brave. He's gone so far, but that's not it. Nirei would say this, training or not, strong or weak. Nirei is good. So, so good. He is perfect to protect Sakura, to keep him in line. Perfect to protect him.

Suo is not a good person. It starts and ends with this fact. His job is to protect guys like Nirei, so they can protect everybody else.

He stands to stand with him, stand in front of him, but a hand at his wrist stops his momentum.

Sakura's eyes are still those widened, tiny pinpricks. Little blooming droplets of tar. But it grows. And then grow some more. His breathing doesn't so much even out as it does flatten. Still, his hands shake.

Suo nods, fights a flinch, "You trust us, right?"

A nod.

"Then you know we will never let you go. Not with him. It's all of us, or nobody."

Sakura's hand tightens into a confident wrap around his wrist. They meet eyes. Suo hates himself, the way relief consumes him.

Nirei is so angry. He has never been this angry before; he honestly never thought he could feel this way. But Sakura has introduced Nirei to a lot of new feelings—has already claimed so many of Nirei's emotional firsts that this shouldn't come as a surprise.

Even still, it was a line he wasn't sure he'd be able to cross. He never thought he could yell at someone, especially someone he cares about so much. Yet, so easily, Sakura pushed him over it, or more so, dragged him over.

All he could think was, How dare anyone, including Sakura, treat him that way? As if he's some disposable toy soldier, ready to be tossed to the side as soon as the first opportunity presents itself.

This new anger lingers with him as he stands and stares at Endo. He's not struggling at all against Hiragi and Togame, practically dancing around them. But when Endo looks over in their direction, it's not Nirei he's looking at.

He's looking straight for Sakura, eyes set like a predator.

Nirei steps in front of his sightline. Stares so intently he can feel it burning. Endo finally breaks his gaze to look at Nirei, but he doesn't seem to look at all. His eyes gloss over, blink, and then he's looking away.

Before he can try and gather up his thoughts, a hand tugs his wrist.

Sakura has his wrist. Nirei melts.

"Thank you, I'm sorry," Sakura starts, "I'm okay now. I'm ready."

You shouldn't have to be, Nirei thinks. But Nirei doesn't have the right to say those words to Sakura. He's not strong enough to protect himself. He's not enough to stand in front of him, let alone beside.

"Okay. Just don't leave us," Nirei demands instead. It's selfish. Sakura makes him want to be.

Sakura nods, "I won't."

Nirei wants to kiss him. It's an unwelcome thought, but true nonetheless. Instead, he returns the grip on Sakura's wrist, unbearably tight for a second, and then lets go. He hopes it lingers on Sakura the way it does on his wrist.

"Good luck."

Sakura nods, and then his demeanor shifts. Hiragi and Togame don't so much look as sense Sakura coming, peeling off from their fight to give it back to Sakura, who takes it with a one-track mind.

He's still angry, but it feels useless now as Sakura takes up arms.

They begin again, but this time, Nirei is here. He won't let Sakura go.

Beside him, Suo takes two steps so that they are shoulder to shoulder. They both watch him go. Nirei doesn't want to let him, but he doesn't really have any say in the matter. Suo understands, he knows he does.

"Are you okay?" He asks quietly, almost soft.

"I will be. Once this is over," He admits.

What he doesn't say is the obvious. What he doesn't say is that Sakura is still... distant. Far away. They can't have him yet. Nirei can't have him yet. He doesn't know what to do with the feeling, but at least he isn't alone. That has to count for something. Suo knocks their shoulders.

"It's alright. Sakura would never let us down," he assures.

It's a bit fucked up, but Nirei struggles to believe it after what Sakura almost just did. After he almost left them.

"Right."

The fight resumes as if it never stopped. It's almost too easy to flip that switch, but now, things are different.

He doesn't have to win, he just can't lose. That's the only thought that tracks through Sakura's body with every punch and hit he sends Endo's way. Just don't drop. Don't let go.

He wants to. Despite the front he's long grown used to, that doesn't mean pain hurts less. It's one of the few things you don't get used to. Anybody who says otherwise is posturing to look cool.

When Endo crunches Sakura's hand under his boot, it hurts. When hands wrap around his throat and crush, it's terrifying.

But he can't lose. He can't afford it.

It seems Endo, for whatever reason, is overjoyed by this. It's the worst, most unique part about this fight. After every successful punch, as Sakura gets angrier and angrier with him, he gets happier and happier.

The gap begins to widen again when Endo wraps his fingers back around Sakura's windpipe. For whatever stupid reason, it makes him clam up. Without his breath, he's left floundering. His punches weaken, and his mind starts to blur. Sakura tries to pry the fingers off uselessly, already weak from the amount of stress they've been put under during the fight.

Endo tightens his rough fingers, and Sakura can feel the raw muscle under them. He could crush Sakura's windpipe if he wanted to. Maybe that's why it gets him, as if his life isn't wholly his anymore.

He needs to end this.

He can't lose.

There's only one out. He grabs Endo's collar, barely able to reach since Endo's arms are longer than his. With the remaining pieces of his strength, he pulls with all his might.

It lands squarely on his forehead, and Sakura can't even feel it with the head rush that comes when his throat is released.

He watches Endo, makes sure his eyes flicker shut before—

Darkness.

Sunlight.

Fuck. It hurts.

Where is he? Who's—

"Sakura!" Tsubaki's voice rumbles above him, where he's leaning over, eyes way too close for comfort.

He collapses onto Sakura in a giant lump. Sakura's entire body aches from head to toe, and his head is ringing and he can't handle all this warmth.

Behind Tsubaki; Hiragi, Togame, Sugishita stand. At his feet, Nirei and Suo are crouched, waiting. He meets their eyes first—but has to flinch away. Nirei looks so worn out, tears pricking his eyes, and Suo so focused, it's painful.

Nirei is crying, and Sakura can't remember why, and Tsubaki has his arms wrapped around his shoulders and he's still kind of confused how he got here. One moment, he was breathing a deep, relieving breath, and then he was waking up with seven people crowding around him.

Sakura doesn't entirely believe it's over. There's no way it would end just like that. But it's true. He knows it is. Still, he takes a second headcount of everybody in the yard, just to make sure everyone is okay. And they are.

Everybody is okay. Sakura did it. He protected them.

And then Endo... across the field, he's lounging like he's some honoured guest, as if he isn't aching at all. He's watching, but distant. Alone.

Good, Sakura thinks. He should keep it up and stay as far away as possible then.

Tsubaki lets go of Sakura's shoulders, finally. He can breathe again, and it feels like coming up for air after drowning. Everybody's eyes are on him. Quiet. Patient, as if they're waiting for the other shoe to fall. Sakura clears his throat.

"So, is it over?"

They blink at him. Has everyone collectively forgotten the ability to speak or something? Nirei's mouth flaps like a fish, words probably moving so fast in his mind he can't actually form sentences.

Suo speaks for him, "Almost. You did your part. Now it's just up to Umemiya."

"You did it," Hiragi says, squatting down to Sakura's level.

It's a bit demeaning, but whatever, it blocks the sun from blinding him. Beside him, Tsubaki shifts. Oh right.

"Are you okay? He was hurting you really bad—"

"Oh don't even, Sakura. I'm more than fine," He admonishes Sakura, shaking his shoulder a little, "Now what about you, are you okay?"

If he was being honest, that was the furthest thing from his mind. But he's still alive. So, "Yeah."

Not a single person looks convinced. But that's fine. He knows he's alright. It'll all blow over and be fine by tomorrow anyways. But still, its not done yet. He pushes himself to stand, even as Tsubaki scolds him to rest.

There's still one thing he has to take care of.

Endo. He's looking at something on his phone, but his attention snaps almost immediately when Sakura stands. They lock eyes. It feels like another challenge. After all, Sakura didn't lose, but he didn't win either.

Endo smiles from his place on the floor, "You win, kid."

What?

Nirei is pulling at his sleeve, whispering something in a hushed tone, but Sakura can't pull himself from Endo's attention as his eyes shift. He smiles, but it doesn't meet his eyes. Sakura couldn't really give two shits about that. Endo can feel and look however he wants.

So why is he curious? Why is he even looking towards Endo at all?

Sakura doesn't understand at all. But he wants to. It's a dangerous thing, he knows that, he's not stupid. But still... he wants to know why Endo looks at him the way he does.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. But his body moves, maybe out of habit, or mercy, or the stupid hope that if he gets closer, he will understand. If he understands, maybe that will break this tension in his chest. That's what Umemiya told him to do, right?

He doesn't even register the defensive positions and attempts of his friends to pull him back, defensive behind him.

"I win, huh?" He asks.

Endo nods. "You win. Fair's fair. I'll leave your school alone."

Sakura casts a shadow over the man. He puts out his hand, and Endo gives him a new expression— wide-eyed. Genuine shock.

"What's that for?" He asks.

Sakura nods up to the roof, "We both have somewhere to be, right?"

There's not even a breadth of hesitation before Endo takes his hand, practically throwing himself on Sakura's back. When he turns around, there's a mixture of shock and anger painted on his friends' faces. Sakura wants to explain, except he doesn't even know what to say to justify his actions to himself.

"Sakura, are you sure?" Tsubaki speaks up for them all.

Hiragi and him look concerned where Nirei looks pissed, and as always, Suo is impossible to read. Maybe a bit of caution, but too closed off to know for sure. Well, whatever. He's already made his decision. He secures Endo's weight around his shoulders and nods.

"I gotta see this through to the end," He says.

Apparently, that's enough. They let him go. So he takes Endo to the roof, and spends half the walk wondering why the hell he's doing it. One other thing does bother him, though.

"You let me win," Sakura accuses after they make it up the first set of stairs, far enough from prying ears. "Why?"

Mostly Nirei. For some reason, he wants this to remain a secret.

His face blooms red to match the dried blood caked on his nose, "You actually want to know more about me? And I thought you were just being nice!"

"Don't be weird! I'm just curious, I don't really care!"

He giggles, "Don't be shy, it makes me happy."

Sakura ignores the something that rustles in his chest at the admission.

"Well, I mean I didn't let you, that was a well-deserved tie, but," He hums and leans a little more into Sakura's space, "I guess I fell for you."

Huh?

Endo giggles again, like he can't help it. Just like... like he's telling the truth. Like, he actually has feelings for him.

No fucking way.

Nobody's confessed to him before, not at least confessed before and meant it. Not with such a happy look on their face, one that only grows as the silence stretches between them. 

"Excuse me? What does that mean?" Sakura's blush reaches down to his chest.

Endo pulls Sakura closer, for some stupid reason, "Such a cute reaction! I didn't know you were shy—"

"Shut up! It's not cute. What is wrong with you? Why me? We just met through a fight!"

"Well, yeah, but nobody has ever looked at me the way you have in a fight! You should've seen yourself, the look on your face," His talking ramps up whenever he gets excited, it seems, because Sakura has to put all his focus to catch what Endo's saying while not faceplanting. "You looked at me so passionately."

Passionate is not the word Sakura would use.

"It felt so good to have someone look at me with so much attention." Endo is a hypocrite, because his eyes are burning Sakura from the inside out, "I didn't know fighting could feel so good with someone. It's a whole new experience!"

It's quite possibly the most embarrassing thing Sakura has ever heard anyone say. Ever, in fact. He can't exactly handle the level of embarrassment that he feels.

"Don't just say stuff like that! That's so embarrassing!"

He just shrugs, leans closer into Sakura, "Maybe. Is it gonna scare you away if I do?"

"Plenty of shit you do scares me away."

"You're so mean to someone who's just confessed to you. I was hoping to keep in contact," he frowns, stumbles a little with his feet.

Sakura steadies them both, nearing the rooftop. Outside the door, slams ricochet downwards.

He doesn't understand Endo. Not at all. He's creepy, and honestly, everything Sakura kinda hates. Yet... he has feelings for him?

Sakura doesn't get it at all. He wonders if it's egotistical to want to.

"Maybe... we can keep in contact. But only if you stay away from Furin!"

Endo glows, and it's unfair that it makes tension uncurl out of Sakura's chest. As if he's doing something right. "You mean it?"

"Just don't do anything weird."

He nods.

Sakura knows that, at least, is a complete lie.

At 10 years old, Sakura had watched someone get beaten. Truly beaten, too—the type of shit that he can't even remember how bad it was. There was this girl, he doesn't remember her name, but he still has the scar from the surgery afterwards—a curved sickle of re-strewn muscle under his ribs that didn't stop opening up for half a year. But he does remember parts. At one point, they were both on the floor, her nose digging and split from the concrete while he had managed to pillow his ear in his elbow.

There was a knife involved, somehow. Or was it a bat? Well, that part doesn't really matter anymore. But the silver glinted in her eyes, the only forewarning before it sank into his ribs.

They stared at each other. It wasn't voyeuristic, but it wasn't bonding either. Far from it. If Sakura saw her again, he would hate her. She knows what he looks like at the worst possible moment in his life.

But he knows hers. He figures she never wants to see him again, either. That kind of intimacy is more of a violation. It is exposing something about yourself as it is uncovered. You don't have time to accept what's revealed before it's torn open on the concrete.

Sakura cried the whole time, but she didn't. She just glossed over and rolled on her side, watching him get hit, stabbed, and slaughtered. Dead fish. Sakura watched back when he could stomach it. Cried when he couldn't.

Watching Endo watch Chiika. This is worse.

He is a live vivisection, he is a still-beating heart, he is the headless chicken. He is alive in the way a man in his last moments is alive. That last burst of energy before death.

Sakura's stomach roils.

"Look at him! He's— Oh, isn't he perfect?" Endo mutters, not even looking at Sakura.

His face is a deep flush, the color of candy cherries. Sweet. In love. In front of them, Chiika's fist crunches against the concrete, disfiguring into a malleable, broken doll toy, and doesn't seem to notice, chasing after Umemiya. Sakura doesn't want to look.

"Ha! Ah...."

Umemiya isn't him. He is volatile and angry, so angry in a way that Sakura had never even considered possible. It's what he'd originally expected the leader of Furin to be. Each movement is a powerful arc that could split molecules apart.

Sakura has never been so scared, but also. There's something else there. It is hard for him to dislodge the feeling out of everything swirling, but when Umemiya loses the upper hand against Takiishi, he realizes. He gets it.

They are beautiful. In the way natural disasters are beautiful. Purity in violence, the bullshit rhetoric he used to let drip from his mind everywhere he went. Maybe it never left. Maybe he will never change. Because his heart picks up, and he sits down next to Endo, more like collapses, and he watches.

What else is there to do?

Chika's upper hand grows, Endo radiating his obsession next to Sakura, and endless chatter of praise and commentary. He is good at it, probably from experience. How long has he spent watching someone he loves chase somebody else?

Is this what love is supposed to be? Is this what devotion means?

Umemiya slams into the ground, his body going still besides an unending twitching in his foot. Takiishi's breath is the only thing he can hear, a gust of wind hitting Sakura's ears.

Sakura looks from Umemiya, to Chika, to Endo. Endo looks squarely at Chika with tears beginning to roll down his face. He looks so happy, but Sakura can't help but want to vomit. There's something so deeply lonely about the way Chika doesn't look back.

Endo's already beginning to move, "Thank you, Umemiya, for bringing such a spectacle into my lifetime..."

Sakura leans back and settles in, looking back at Umemiya's twitching foot. An even twitch, twitch, twitch. Sakura turns his eyes back. Ignoring everything else. Push it out. There is only Umemiya on that floor.

He will get up.

He has to get up.

Twitch, twitch, twitch.

He will.

Thump.

A foot against the pavement.

Umemiya stands tall.

Waiting is not something Nirei has enjoyed, ever. He has already counted the bricks on the west side wall of the school (165 bricks tall by about 96 wide). He has counted the number of plants thrown off the side the the building and how many hours it will take to replant and regrow (too many.) Nirei hates waiting, but that doesn't mean he can't.

Suo is silent; he is patient. They are both managing okay.

Tsugishita has almost climbed up the building twice. It has been Togame's job to stop him, and that is a whole other thing, something that should be able to distract him but can't. He can't stop thinking.

Why did Sakura take Endo to the stairs? He's kind of with Sugishta, why aren't they going up there right now?

He chews at his nails, but it's already to the fleshy pink part, and his tongue comes back with the taste of iron. A hand flattens on his shoulder.

Hiragi.

"How ya' doin'?" He asks, sitting down beside where Nirei is planted on the sidewalk stairs.

"I'm fine, I haven't really gone through much—"

"I'm good too," he cuts off, "This has been tough, especially for those who know what it means to lose this fight."

He glares at Nirei, a little sharp, but it isn't unkind. If anything, it's calming. As always, Nirei searches for Suo's attention even when he's mid-conversation. He doesn't know for whose benefit, but he hopes it'll calm one of them.

Only a few feet away, he's standing, staring up at the rooftop. He looks worried. Nirei wants to go to him. But first...

"You're close with Sakura," Hiragi says.

Nirei nods.

"He's pure."

"Huh...?"

The sun is bright on them, and Nirei's sweating through his shirt. Summer is coming up. With any luck, with Umemiya's victory, they'll be able to graduate to their summer uniforms. Behind them, another pot crashes—shatters.

"You heard what he was talking about with Endo? He was ready to do anything to 'protect' us. To protect you."

Nirei's fists are in a fixed bind, and he forces them to loosen only so he can pick at the peeling skin of his thumb. It's stupid, is what it is, he thinks. There's nothing pure about it.

"He wants to keep this forever, just as it is... and that isn't... well, I mean... do you get what I'm trying to—" Hiragi looks pained as he wipes his hand over his nose, wiping a bit of dirt off his chin. Stubble is growing in. "As his vices— from one Vice captain to another at least—"

"We will protect him from everything," Suo interjects suddenly, mistaking Nirei's glance as a plea for help, "Including himself. As long as he lets us."

Suo looks beautiful, hair shining in the sun. Nirei wants to hug him. Is this the appropriate time for a hug? Probably not. Suo would probably think that's childish, so he doesn't bother to ask. Still, he's grateful.

"Ah, good. Good," Hiragi humms, looks around, and then has the audacity to look shy after the fact, face blushing, "He's going to need you two. So thank you."

"Thank you for looking after him," Suo continues with a nod, always so put together.

Hiragi just huffs and shrugs, pushing to a stand. "It's what upperclassmen do."

Before Nirei can thank him, his phone buzzes, and he promptly forgets everything else.

[>Umemiya won]

[>It's over]

Suo doesn't want to wait. He doesn't care that the upperclassmen want to see Umemiya. He doesn't care that Sugishita has been trying to climb up the wall for the past five minutes. He hasn't cared less about anything in a long time.

"Let's go," He says, giving his hand to Nirei.

He takes it and wastes no time pulling to a stand.

They race up the stairs to find him. Suo learns that Nirei is a faster runner than him, but he waits for Suo at the stairs, and then at each ledge of the staircase for him, each time racing ahead and then reeling himself back to wait.

In an instant, they're meeting halfway down. Sakura is stumbling down on uneasy feet, and then Nirei is barreling into him, wrapping his arms around the boy.

Sakura looks exhausted. But still, he puts in the effort to put two hands onto Nirei's back in a loose pat. He must be so tired that the affection doesn't set him off.

Suo lets Nirei have this. It's so sweet it makes his teeth hurt. Nirei deserves this, he thinks. He's been working so hard; a little bit of encouragement for his work is necessary.

As he takes a half-step back, something barrels into him and shoves him toward the pair of them. He has no choice but to follow the movement, crashing into Nirei's back with a set of arms, trapping him in.

"Sakura! You did it!"

Ah, it's Tsuguera.

They must've been doing much of the same. Racing to get him. Now, Sakura is starting to show his usual self. His lip wobbles a little bit as he yells, "Get off'a me! We're in the middle of the stairs!"

One by one, some slower to let go than others, they peel away.

"Gosh, Sakura, what happened to you?" Tsuguera says, not unkindly, looking over the damage done to him.

"Nothin'," He says, to which Nirei frowns.

"He fought this super-duper strong dude. Endo was his name? Anyways, a total frea—"

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. That's the saying, right?

Endo's form taps down the stairs, light, as if he's never been injured a day in his life. On his back, a man who looks more gore than man sits listlessly on his back. 

They all go silent. Suo subconsciously takes a step between them. His shoulder bumps with someone else's—Kiryu. Somehow, he can tell there's something off about this guy. He likes Kiryuu. Sensible. Calm. Very mature. He understands things like this.

Endo just smiles at them, whistling a bright tune, "Ah, let me just sneak by you guys." His eyes inevitably find Sakura, "It was a pleasure to meet you."

He leaves as quietly as he came, tapping and humming all the way down the winding stairs.

Kiryu steps away first, looking at Nirei. Suo keeps his eyes on Sakura, though, the way his face tints red, and the way his breath picks up. "I see what you mean. What a creep."

Nirei nods, huffs, "Yeah. Him."

Suo doesn't like this at all. But, for now. Everything is fine. He's always been overprotective, anyway. Nirei turns back to Sakura, who's carefully pointing to a bruise against Nirei's cheek with a frown. Suo needs to learn to share his things, especially when they aren't his to begin with.

Somehow, they find their way back to Sakura's apartment, pushing past the crowding gates of Furin. At first, their only goal was to help Sakura escape. Through the mess of bodies, bloodied and broken and yet smiling, Sakura had been pushed too far. Everyone wanted a piece of his time. Nirei can't really blame them.

Sakura is radiant. Though it's scary to think a fight put him in this condition, he's being thrown between compliments and congratulations, and, though he's flustered, anyone would be happy after this amount of praise.

Suo had been the one to call for them to leave.

Once they'd gotten away from the noise and celebration, though, they just kind of kept following Sakura. Or more accurately, they led the way to his house without ever asking if they could.

It seems to be happening more and more, and Nirei can't honestly say he's too upset about it. Sakura relents a bit easier each time. It happens in countless ways—Kiryu whining he’s bored, Suo casually walking him home, Tsuguera announcing it like a mission. Every time, Sakura gives in.

Someone suggests a celebration on their way from the school. Sakura is too tired, and maybe a bit too slap-happy from the fight to say no. It's perfect. This is perfect.

They tumble into Sakura's house, everyone but Sakura himself pushing to get in. Nirei never thought he'd feel happy seeing someone's home be a bit messy, but to see anything at all in Sakura's room is a blessing.

The centerpiece of his room has a bag of chips and Kiryu's old switch on it, a half-drunk water bottle crushed on the corner. Other than that, not much has changed at all. The sink still drips a slow, constant drip, and the oven is still rusting over on the iron burner.

But now, with the flecking paint, there is the memory of Sakura throwing his phone. With the stain on his bedsheets, there is an accompanying memory of cola and clumsy limbs to go with it. With the window, there is a comment about stars (Orion, to be specific) that Nirei has protected like a mother to her newborn.

That is the only difference between familiar and ghostly. Nothing in truth has changed. The walls are the same color, and the sun sets a little bit later each and every day by the same amount. But now it is entirely different.

It's becoming home.

Sakura collapses onto his makeshift bed around the corner immediately, while Tsuguera and Kiryu both run to his cabinets to poke around for food. If memory serves, there should be nothing there. But maybe they will get lucky? Suo seems to be on the hunt for something, though Nirei has no clue what.

Despite the natural pull to follow Sakura, he instead diverts to where Suo is going, making himself useful. Sakura deserves to have a moment to himself of peace after they've forced themselves into his space.

He trails behind Suo into the tiny apartment bathroom. It's cramped, a tiny shower, toilet, and sink with about a square foot of extra floor space. The only thing hospitable about it is the scent of cheap lemon bathroom spray. Even the light, yellowish and flickering, is suffocating.

"What're you looking for? Can I help with anything?" He pushes.

Suo opens the medicine cabinet, and through the dirty reflection, his eyes flick over to Nirei. Sharp, as always. The yellow light flickers.

It lurches Nirei's stomach, and something clicks back in his body. It's a surreal experience as alertness hits him. Suo is good at that. Channeling, focusing, and distilling Nirei down into something useful.

"No, I'm alright. I might need to go out and get a first aid kit and help patch everybody up."

Suo doesn't have a scratch on him. Nirei can't help but think it's unfair.

"That's nice of you, I'll go wi—" Before he can speak, Suo's turning, pressing into Nirei's space.

Nirei's knee buckles against the toilet seat, half lit by the ill yellow bathroom, half by the fading orange of late day from Sakura's living room. Suo's close enough that their knees press against each other. He can smell Suo's breath, almost fruity. Unexpectedly sweet.

Suo raises a hand to his cheek, somehow managing to be stabling and unsettling. His fingers ghost over a bruise there. It's gentle, but it stings.

"You wait here with Sakura," he whispers, leaning in, "Spend some time with him, I'll take Kiryu and Tsuguera to shop."

No—he was wrong. It's closer to nail polish remover. A fake sweetness that makes Nirei's nose wrinkle.

"No, I'll go with—"

Nirei flinches back when Suo's thumb bites into the bruise.

"Take the win," Suo says before pushing past him and out of the small shoe-box of a room.

Without his hand there, Nirei fully collapses against the wall. It's too warm in the summer heat. Too cramped for him to be getting so close.

His cheek still aches, but it isn't so bad. It keeps him present. Suo... is helping him. He swallows down the dryness in his throat.

Take the win.

Nirei nods. Simple enough.

Outside the door, Suo speaks up in a smoothed-over tone, "Kiryu, Tsuguera, side mission. We need some food and gauze."

"Oh hell yeah, I am hungry after a fight like that! Can we get burgers?" Tsuguera booms, already making a ruckus in the direction of the door.

"I'd prefer noodles," Kiryu hums.

When Nirei pushes out from his spot in the bathroom, he's frozen by the blink-and-miss-it look Kiryu sends his way. It's piercing, eyebrows drawn and accusing.

Here's a note, something Nirei's picked up about Kiryu. He's terribly, awfully observant. He sees everything, maybe as much as Suo. He just is worse at hiding it, or maybe just doesn't care to.

It's gone in an instant and, like that, he's left alone. Alone. In Sakura's apartment. Right. Perfect. Thanks Suo.

He finds Sakura back on his makeshift bed, unaware or uncaring that almost everybody has fled his house without him. If anything, he looks more at ease, body lazily sprawled against his sheets. Nirei would be lying if he said that didn't make him feel a bit happy.

He was the first person to welcome Sakura to Furin. That was fun, those first few days when it was just them. If he'd had known how rare those moments would be in the future, he would've appreciated them more.

Now's his chance.

He sits down, a little too close, because that's what Nirei does. He pushes. Sakura lets him. He's too distracted anyway, tacking away at Kiryu's switch. He's playing Mario Kart, which he seems to not have improved on at all.

Nirei spends three of Sakura's matches in perfect silence, watching the sun slowly drop down the horizon. It's pretty. Should be point it out, or would that be annoying?

What is he supposed to say? It's so still. To make even the quietest comment is to break the peace. But Nirei hasn't ever liked silence. His teachers always tell him to quiet down. Maybe this is normal for him.

Sakura likes being alone, but what if he worsens it by talking? Maybe he likes the silence Nirei can bring to the table?

His chest thumps just thinking about it.

"So, did ya' punch anybody?"

Nirei jumps from Sakura's question. Oh. He asked first. He talked first! He thumbs his knuckles, moments ago a nuisance from the pain, but now a prized possession.

"Just one guy," He mumbles.

Sakura grins and flicks the Joy-Con. "Fuck yeah, man."

Nirei can't do this. He can't handle Sakura and all his subtle, unwitting kindness. Without even trying. His chest blooms something warm.

Sakura's face twists when he promptly flings his Kart (Bowser, on a bike for christ-sake, what is he doing?) off the side of Rainbow Road.

His hands tighten around the screen, probably almost enough to break it. It's incredible restraint.

"I hate this," He understates.

"Then why are you playing it?" Nirei laughs.

Sakura huffs, puts the switch down between them. With a start, he realizes it's Sakura's way of offering a turn with it.

"I told those Gravel guy's I'd beat their asses! After their help today, I was hoping to make some progress..."

That... is so cute. And hilarious. Nirei can't stop himself from laughing at the image of Sakura coming back from a long day of school to train how to play Mario Kart.

Sakura blushes, "Shut up! What's so funny!"

Nirei shakes his head, takes up Sakura's offer, clicking the two handles off and handing the red one to Sakura. The blue one has a bad drift on it. "C'mon, let's get your lesson in."

He takes it. "Lesson?"

Nirei sets up the Switch, debating where to put it. Maybe on the table to give them enough space?

Take the win echoes in his head.

No. He sets it between them on the floor. The screen is so small, it forces them to sit down, shoulder to shoulder. Unescecarily close.

"Yeah, time to level up your skills."

Sakura hesitates, but then he slouches down, elbow brushing Sakura's. "You're cocky but I'm gonna get so good, and then I'll be the frickin' teacher."

Nirei smiles, "Whatever you say."

Shopping is a treacherous affair. Mostly, because every shop is either closed or in such a state of disarray from the 'war' that they can't purchase anything. They visit six different grocery stores and three pharmacies, making their way almost fully through town.

Well, at least they didn't have to pay for anything.

The citizens took one look at their Furin jackets and practically laid down their whole store on them when they were open. Tsuguera was having an exaggeratedly fun time using all the groceries piled on them as weights.

Suo accepts it, but privately, he hates the whole song and dance they put on. In his opinion, no gang violence was worth celebrating. Protecting the town or not. But that's a bit of a moot point, considering where he's going to school.

He keeps these thoughts to himself.

Kiryu seems chatty today.

"Nirei's so sweet, staying back to watch over Sakura, though I'm a bit jealous," He muses, flapping the sleeves of his jacket offhandedly.

"Oh?"

Suo saw the look Kiryu gave Nirei. He's onto something, the only issue is, is he onto Nirei's feelings, or Suo's? And if so, is he going to poke his nose where it doesn't belong, or be sensible and leave it be?

Suo will play his game. He's still a bit of an unknown. Not unreliable, per se, but too close to them and too curious for his own good. Better control the conversation now than let his mind start to wander.

"Of course, who wouldn't want some one-on-one time with Sakura? He's becoming quite the hero for us first-years," Kiryu says, hands going to fidget at his earring.

He has to stop himself from fluffing out his shirt. The sun is hot and the day is humid, and it's a bit unsightly to have sweat pooling at his arms. It's fine. They only have two more blocks to go.

"That is true," Suo responds.

"Damn, I want alone time with Sakura! It's no fair, you got to see him fight with that crazy dude. He was so beat up, I bet the fight was awesome!" He waves the bags dangerously as he talks.

Damn Tsuguera. Whether he knows it or not, Kiryu has set up quite a favorable position for himself in this conversation.

Suo can't just outright say or ask what Kiryu is thinking—Tsuguera will catch onto something weird if Suo points it out. But he won't follow the subtleties of what Kiryu may or may not imply. He also has one large, loud mouth. If he catches onto any part of the truth, it's game over.

He shakes his head. He's overthinking, surely. He's being paranoid.

Still, best keep things clear, "Well, I am his vice captain, after all."

Tsuguera huffs, "If I knew that'd be one of the perks, I would've tried. Can we have a third Vice?"

Kiryu laughs, "What, you want to start handling the daily fights between Sakura and Sugishita? That's too much work for me, count me out."

"I mean, ah, I dunno. If men have to fight, let them fight. That's one of my virtues! So I guess... let them fight?"

"And that's why Suo and Nirei are our vices," Kiryu says.

Shut down. Tsuguera, for his part, doesn't look too offended. And more so, it proves Suo's point. He was just being paranoid. Everything is fine. They don't see what Suo's trying to do.

"You're so supportive," Suo thanks. One more block to go.

Across the street, two old ladies coo at them. Suo pretends he doesn't hear them, but his attempts are in vain when Tsuguera waves. Kiryu gives them a small wave.

"I'm just being honest," Kiryu says, dropping his hand from his ears. "I see what you're doing."

His skin prickles instantly. This is a first.

"Excuse me?"

Kiryu's smile doesn't reach his eyes. Suo can recognize the look easily. He's the one who perfected it first, after all.

"I see all the extra work you're doing to help Nirei!" 

Is Suo paranoid? No. No way. This is too pointed. He's suggesting—

"What with all that training?" Tsuguera interjects, "I mean, yeah, that's nice. I've been offering to take him to the gym, but he hasn't taken me up on it yet."

"I wonder why," Kiryu teases, and the moment is broken. "Who wouldn't want to pump iron with our resident muscle-head?"

Tsuguera kicks a rock at Kiryu, "I can tell when you're making fun of me."

"Noo, never to you," He winks.

Kiryu is smart. Much smarter than Suo gave him credit for. Suo is being too careless. Stupid. Well, whatever. He didn't actually say anything, or imply anything. Play dumb. That's a good sign.

Suo teases, "I think that's a good idea, should we have a gym day?"

"No, don't do this to me!" Kiryu complains. But he's smiling.

"Hell yeah, I like the spirit!"

Everything is fine, Suo thinks. He slipped up in the bathroom because he's tired. He'll be more careful next time. They round the corner on Sakura's apartment, and like that, the conversation is over. Suo is safe another day.

The thought only hits him only after the fact, once the conversation has closed—He's safe from what exactly? That's right. Suo has nothing to hide. Not a thing.

Everything is going just fine.

Kiryu opens the door for them, slinking out of the hot sun into Sakura's apartment. It's not too much cooler, but it relieves him nonetheless.

Tsuguera lacks tact as he crashes the bags of groceries onto the counter, but it's barely a murmur in comparison to the sounds he hears coming from Sakura's main room.

Giggling.

Two voices, one a bit high and maybe a little hysterical. Honestly, it's a bit of an ugly laugh, a few snorts sneaking into it. The other laugh is low, raspy, and terribly shy.

Suo is careful as he lets jealousy crawl up his back. He can't avoid it, too quick for him to stop his body from freezing. But it's not too late to channel the feeling and redirect it.

It's just a feeling. Just like pain, or discomfort, or anything else unpleasant. That doesn't mean he has to react to it.

He waits for it to stop, tries to busy himself with unpaciking the bandages in his bag, but it continues still. They don't even pause to welcome them back. He'd expect that from Sakura, but Nirei should know better.

Well, whatever. It's no matter. Nirei is doing exactly what Suo told him to do anyway. He moves his mind to the plastic holding the gauze. The packaging is tricky and excessively thick. He needs something sharp.

The kitchen scissors will do. He opens one of the drawers and finds it in a different place than where he last left it, and when he goes to cut it, laughter echoes and snaps his nerves.

Shit--the blade sinks into the meat of his thumb, slipping off the smooth plastic.

Bright red bubbles, and he watches it happen. The pain is visceral. It gives him something to blame the roaring in his chest on.

He smears it a little, watching as it wraps around his finger into a ring, red and warm.

"You're bleeding," Kiryu says.

He appears like some ghost by his side, already equipped with a napkin in his hand. He wastes no time in seizing his hand and wiping the blood away.

Suo is stuck, watching Kiryu fix the mess he made. He hasn't had someone dress his wounds since he was a child. Fucks sake.

"Be careful," Kiryu continues, but then his thumb digs into Suo's cut over the bandages. It's almost deja vu. "Don't handle knives when you're angry."

"Angry? What makes you think I'm angry?"

Kiryu lets go and draws back, taking the package from him. In a simple motion, he splits the plastic clean down the center line. "Maybe drop the grimace before you talk to them," but then, a hand whispers on his back. It's so light, he almost thinks it's a passing breeze.

"Take care of yourself," he whispers, and then he walks through the doorway.

Suo listens as he greets them, and the laughter slowly dies down into the familiar murmur of conversation. Suo waits until his thumb stops bleeding, Tsuguera diligently beside him as he packs everything into Sakura's small refrigerator.

These are blessings. All around him. The only one making a problem is him. And the only one who can fix that is him. It's as simple as changing his behavior. Emotions will follow.

The bleeding stops. Suo centers himself and prepares to go play nurse. At the very least, he can steal the opportunity to fix up Sakura. Nirei gets his victories and Kingly feasts of laughter.

And Suo, well, he's on a diet. Everybody knows that. Scraps are more than enough.

He leaves the dripping sink and too-loud Tsuguera, with his rustling bags and the rattling fridge door, to walk in on the three boys.

The sun has just past set already, but it's still visible out, orange fading to a pale blue through his window. Shadows are cast darker on them all, and their exhaustion truly shows now.

Sakura is the most obvious, halfway to sleep as he leans his weight on the floor. His eyes slip closed three times in the matter of a second, as if it's a fight to keep them open.

Next to him, Nirei is pulling away and packing up the Switch--so that was what they were doing. His clothes have it the roughest, blood staining his sleeves. His knuckles are cracked too from the boy he'd punched. Suo will have to praise him for it. He's done very well today.

Kiryu is the halfway point between their extremes, hair greasy and messy, though his hands are undamaged and his face, for the most part, unbruised. Despite it, he seems content, sitting at the table with a bottle of Coke he'd gotten.

Sakura is the most hurt; it only makes sense to help him first.

"Sakura," he lifts a makeshift first aid kit, "May I look you over? Can't have you dying in your sleep from a cut we missed."

His comment is sobering. Kiryu gives him a sour face and shakes his head, "Don't be so morbid!"

Suo doesn't respond, just watches Sakura as he surely tries to think up an excuse as to why he doesn't need help. Suo doesn't want to argue with Sakura, though. He's tired. He just wants to help, but Sakura's already shaking his head and--

"What, you scared it'll hurt?" Kiryu teases, sticking his tongue out a little at him. "If you're scared, I can go first. I can hold your hand the whole way through."

That's the kind of argument you use on a child. Sakura huffs, "No! I'm not scared, jeez," he gives Suo a shifty look, "Fine."

Well, isn't that something. Sakura's glare is full of challenge. One second ticks by too long, and he flusters, "What? Change your mind?"

Suo pushes forward, "Oh, I'm just so happy you actually said yes."

He says it in an overly teasing tone. A joke. It's the only way he'll let himself get away with such a raw truth, but it's one Sakura needs to hear. Just like Nirei's crush is a project of his, this one is his most important. Sakura, letting people in. Yes, it is the most important thing.

Nirei makes space for Suo, but he forces himself to take the other side of Sakura to keep Sakura next to Nirei. There's no real point to it. Maybe it's just pure masochism,  who knows.

Maybe he does it just to prove to himself that he can ignore the burning in his throat. Maybe it is nobler to suffer. Maybe it's stupid. All the maybes don't really matter.

It's the only thing that helps.

He tugs at Sakura's shirt sleeve.

"Off," he commands.

Sakura ignores him, "Why should I?"

Suo gives him his sweetest, sharpest smile. As cute as the shy schtick is, he does genuinely want to make sure Sakura is okay. He is not above sicking Tsuguera on him to peel it off.

Sakura eventually folds to Suo's prying, peeling it off. Suo notices Nirei watching, even as he talks about something with Kiryu. Good, Suo thinks. Let him watch, but not touch.

These scraps are all Suo gets after all.

He would be properly distracted by the curve of Sakura's muscles if the damage on his body wasn't so brutal. There's nothing particularly 'hot' about the way his body is brutalized.

His skin is pulled taught where it swells, mainly around his knuckles, shoulders, and ribs. There's one particularly bad welt at his bottom third rib on his left side, purpling and angry, placed just above an old, sickle-shaped scar. Suo's hand trails towards it, presses it. He can't help himself, like somehow pressing it will help him understand the pain. 

Sakura doesn't react at all, just stares out the window. He's shutting this all out, probably, pretending it's not happening. It looks so painful. Nirei is looking too, and Sakura's back must not look much better by how quiet he's gone.

Kiryu has the decency to ignore it, claiming the switch for himself. Well, decency to pretend he's ignoring it.

But no, not attractive at all. No, if anything, he feels terribly frustrated. But he can't let that bleed into his care.

"Nirei, do me a favor and get me some warm water and a towel?"

"O-oh, of course!" He has to force himself to look away, his eyes stuck to Sakura's back

Sakura continues his glare towards the window. Well, as long as he isn't being fussy. For now, he needs to focus on Sakura.

His nose is twisted, but it's obvious that it's an old wound. Suo presses on it anyway to make sure it isn't been further broken. There are three main cuts on his face that need to be dressed--one on his chin, one under his eye, and then at his ear, a hematoma is forming.

"Sakura, here," Suo will start his treatment with the simplest thing.

He pops three ibuprofen tablets out into his palm, unnaturally orange against his pale skin, and presents them to Sakura.

"Mmm?"

He's oddly unresponsive as he lets Suo drop them into his palm and then dry-swallow them. He wants to question him, to poke and prod, but it's too good an opportunity to waste.

Nirei returns with water, Tsuguera following him in a wave of chatter. Ever the tactless man, he stops short when he walks in to see Sakura.

So much for the weirdly docile Sakura, then. It was nice while it lasted. Tsuguera just kind of stares as Nirei dutifully sets down the bowl, a towel hanging off the rim. It's ratty, but it will do.

Suo begins cleaning the wounds. It's painfully quiet, the only thing breaking it is the occasional click of the Joycon's buttons or stilted attempts at conversation Tsuguera makes with Kiryu and Nirei.

Suo ignores them all. It's rather easy to.

Sakura is a statue under him. Unmoving, where he is usually restless and blasé, where he is, under any other circumstance, shy and flustered. And most notably, he never flinches. Not when Suo dabs away the blood from his face, or feels along his ribs for anything that feels broken. Not when he is rough with the wounds.

Suo gets through bandaging and disinfecting the cuts on Sakura's face before he gets his first reaction. As carefully as he can manage, he tucks the hair at Sakura's forehead behind his ear to look at the swelling.

It's the gentlest touch yet, and Sakura seizes from it, shoulders going tight and breath hitching. He doesn't move away. Just tenses. For what, Suo can only guess.

Over time, these types of clues start to mean something. Suo is not a genius. He's not even all that observant. It's just the fact that it's Sakura. He can't really help himself.

"You're going to have to go to the hospital for this," Suo murmurs, just to him.

Sakura blinks slowly, a deliberate and careful action. He licks his lips before he speaks, pronouncing each and every syllable with textbook accuracy. "I haven't even broken anything."

"It looks like the blood vessel in your ear popped here. You'll get cauliflower ear if it isn't drained."

He shrugs and pulls away, clearly sensing Suo is wrapping up his inspection. All in all, it was way too easy an event. Way too smooth for something so intimate, at least for someone like Sakura.

"Let it then. I don't care about that. I don't care about my looks," He reaches for his shirt.

As he turns, Suo finally gets a glimpse at what was so terrible that it was rendering Tsuguera almost silent. At the back of his shoulder, a jagged raised line dips down, just to the side of his spine that digs deep, curving into the bottom of his shoulder like some hook. If Suo reached out, he could probably tuck his pinky under the groove. Pull Sakura around by the indent.

Suo is shocked to silence, too.

He wants to scream, though. God, does he want to scream. He wants something he can't put into words, because his whole chest wells up with something so rich he's swallowing it down by the throatful.

A switch flips. As soon as his shirt is on, as soon as he's safe, his face flushes again. Vulnerability cracks on his face like glass shattering.

"Okay, can somebody say something! I'm not some zoo animal!"

Nobody says anything.

Then, "Sakuraaaa, when are you going to go weightlifting with me? With muscles like that, you've been holding out on me."

Suo likes Tsugera a whole lot, he thinks. More than he gives him credit for.

"Shuddup! Are you crazy? I don't want to do anything else, I'm already sore as fuck from today. Give me some time to recover at least," he complains, but he's blushing. He's reacting to things again. He's okay.

The night drags on in slow waves, the slow rise of the ocean tide as the moon rises in the sky. Its gravity must have an effect on them. Nirei likes it. Everybody is slow with their words, tired, and calm. It's a new side of them, and he has to refrain from pulling out his notes app to take notes.

When tired, Kiryu drops a lot of his cute mannerisms and has a tendency to sprawl on the floor. He's a little bit prissy, actually, demanding something soft to lean on.

Tsuguera blabs to himself when tired, mumbling a bunch of nothing to himself. He falls asleep and wakes himself three times over the course of three hours.

Suo is weirdly indulgent when tired, eyes lingering too long on things that he shouldn't. He keeps sneaking looks a the bag of chips propped on Tsuguera's hips, and Nirei doesn't know whether to pretend he doesn't notice or call him out on it.

And Sakura is already asleep, curled up on his bed, thin sheets abandoned in favor of the moderate wind the box fan in his room provides.

These things, in his mind, are separate from the pieces of information he gets from his peers normally. The facts and information he usually gets so caught up in are different in this light.

They're all sprawled out on the hard floor, sticky from humidity. It's not really all that comfortable, he's sure everybody's home would be much more comfortable. Yet they all choose this place, together.

Nirei doesn't want to write this down in his notes app--that feels like breaking the moment. He wants to keep these pieces of information close to his chest. So he does that.

Suo keeps looking at Sakura. He must think Nirei can't notice. Or maybe he just doesn't care. He would give anything to know what he's thinking. It's hard to tell most days.

Eventually, though, something breaks. Maybe it's Tsuguera's snort as he wakes himself up for the fourth time, or maybe Kiryu finally can't stand the heat any longer, but they all break. Decide it's time they should go.

Kiryu stands first and doesn't waste time with his goodbye. He snaps a photo of Sakura on his way out, and Nirei has to force himself not to do the same. Tsuguera follows him, sleepy, and Nirei worries that he will get home to the right place, but he assures them he'll be fine.

It leaves Nirei and Suo standing in Sakura's living room, just the two of them. On the floor, he keeps making small noises, a cute little snoring noise.

Suo doesn't stop his glances at Sakura. It leaves Nirei wondering. But that's all it is. Useless wondering.

"How was your time alone?" he asks Nirei, turning to pick up the chips Tsuguera left on the floor.

At first, he thinks he's going to eat some, but then he just presses the air out and carefully rolls the end closed.

"Fine, we just played Mario Kart. He's really trying," Nirei says.

Suo nods, continues picking up, like he can't help himself. It makes Nirei want to follow his lead. It's quiet. The only light is from the stars. Sakura is lucky--nothing is blocking his view of the stars out of his window.

Nirei wonders if Sakura even looks at the stars. Probably not. He doesn't seem like the type.

Nirei accidentally stumbles into Suo, tripping onto him in the darkness. He is adept at catching Nirei, balancing him, and putting distance between them in just two steps and the guidance of his free palm.

Always so perfectly graceful, even in such darkness. Nirei can't help but be jealous, watching as he makes his way into the kitchen.

His earring glows, reflecting a red light onto his ear. It makes the maroon of his hair look so saturated it looks bloodstained. He looks beautiful. Nirei always thinks that. Not many men can pull off beautiful while still being so obviously masculine.

Who wouldn't think that's beautiful?

Suo catches him staring, but doesn't say anything. Nirei doesn't have the instinct to look away. He doesn't feel caught, not like in the way he might feel if Sakura saw him staring.

He just feels seen.

Suo clears his throat, not breaking eye contact as he pushes the nozzle of the sink just enough to close the slow drip of the sink. Nirei didn't even notice it.

"Nirei, may I ask you another invasive question?"

Again with this? Last time, it was already too much. But then again, Suo's been helping him. He can trust him with his secrets.

"You can ask me anything," he says, but he picks at his nails nonetheless.

He's a liar.

Suo doesn't ever break eye contact. Nirei can't make out much more in his expression than that.

"Do you want to date Sakura?"

Nirei's throat clicks, but his response is easy enough to admit. "Yes."

Suo takes a step closer to Nirei, then another, then he's closing the distance between them in only a few steps.

He's close again. Just like in the bathroom. That feels like weeks ago, somehow. Only then does he break eye contact with Nirei, and he knows exactly where he's looking. It's Sakura.

It will always be Sakura, Nirei realizes.

An invasive question pops into his mind, and he isn't as pointed as Suo, so he just moves to speak his mind.

"Suo, why are you so invested in--"

The room lights up in a too-bright blue light, followed by a loud ding of a phone. It changes the quietness of the moment into something blaringly loud. The pores on Suo's face and the dark circles are exposed against the pallor of his skin.

He looks sad.

Nirei looks back to confirm that it was Sakura's phone that buzzed. Odd. Nirei would think everybody he'd be talking to would be sleeping right now.

When he looks back, Suo has distanced himself. Fleeing to the door? He's already slipping his shoes on, though, grabbing at his Furin blazer.

"I'm so excited for you, Nirei. I really hope everything goes well between you two," he says, smiling.

He's always smiling. It's starting to grate on him, honestly.

"Thank you, Suo," he says instead, because to admit that is rude.

Suo stands, posture perfectly, pin straight. Not a hair is out of place, not a wrinkle in his uniform. He is the image of neatly placed perfection. He is as organically placed as a statue in a museum.

That is to say, curated. A carefully selected facade.

Nirei isn't stupid. He has eyes. He spends his time watching his friends, after all. So when Suo presses the door open, when he doesn't meet Nirei's eye, and when his voice has the same fluctations as some autotuned piece of garbage, Nirei notices.

For the first time, Nirei feels like he sees a crack in the boy. A deep fault line in his actions. Because before he leaves, he somehow manages to sneak one last look, all the way past Nirei. Straight at Sakura.

Nirei isn't dumb. Suo may think he is secretly looking down on him. Suo may think of himself as some unknowable, unseeable enigma. But he is not something so magical, and Nirei is more than what Suo expects.

So he notices. And he doesn't place a label on exactly what it is, not yet. But he does see it. He catalogs it, right in the spot between his lungs, right where it hurts most.

And once again, he's alone in Sakura's room. This time, though, it's different. There's no slow, rhythmic drip of the sink. It's dark, almost pitch black, where earlier it was glowing and bright in the orange sunlight. Sakura is asleep. Nirei might as well be alone here. It feels more like an intrusion than he thought it would. 

He walks over to the boy.

He's so peaceful.

But Nirei's curiosity wins. He picks up his phone, unlocked, of course, because he doesn't see the point of putting a password on it.

Sakura's small snores are the only sound in the room as he opens the text. It's listed as an unknown number.

[>hey handsome]

[>so when can i take you up on your offer and see you again?]

Nirei reads it over three, four, five times. Sakura sleeps innocently at Nirei's feet. Vulnerable. Trusting. The scars on his face are deep black lines in the shadows. Nirei knows exactly who this is.

Nirei can't help but think of Suo as he deletes the messages on his phone. A liar. But a liar with a purpose, he's sure of that. As his eyes adjust to the bright blue of the phone screen, he can't make out Sakura's face in the darkness.

Nirei can't fight like Sakura. He can't throw a punch. But that doesn't mean he can't protect him.

His thumb jams the 'block caller' button, and he doesn't think about his choice the whole walk home.

[Part 2]

"I love you," His mom whispered.

The smell of fermented grapes kissed his cheek where a mother's lips usually would take their place. Her hair was brown, a dark reddish color he wanted to badly to touch badly, but he knew better.

Back then, everything felt softer. But everything hurt more, too.

She placed a heavy palm of his head right at the roots and nails, naturally grown in and filed down to an oval curve, and would dig into the follicles.

She would whisper it again in the cold night.

"I love you, my little monster."

And then she'd dig harder into his scalp. She was never one for petnames. 'Little monster'. She meant that one.

And then she would cry for a long time. Sometimes, she would hug him. Sometimes she would yell. But always, always, she said she loved him. And she never apologized.

That was just the way things go, though.

That's just how love works.

Sakura wakes on the slippery tile of a men's locker room.

The voices around him clash with the whisper in his ear. And they aren't quiet. Fuck, they're anything but, shoving tiny thumbtacks under the plush of his brain.

He makes out, through all the hazy shapes, one big silhouette. With shaggy, black hair? A low voice rumbles over the rest of the chatter, a calming sound.

"Sakura, pal, ya' with us?"

Sakura grunts out a low note of affirmation before considering whether he is or not. All that he wants is for everything to shut up for five seconds.

A hand plants onto his head.

He jolts back violently, instinctually.

The hand pulls back, too.

"Sorry."

Togame's soft, downturned eyes are trained on him. Patiently watching him despite the havoc buzzing around them. Sakura's head is screaming, but he ignores it in favor of pushing himself to sit up, to gain some pride back.

It's sticky. His whole body, especially his neck and chest, feels covered in a thin film of gross.

"Do you remember anything—" 

"Sakura! Oh, good, he's awake, hey, are you feeling alright?—"

"Choji."

Tomiyama, leaning over Togame's shoulder with wide eyes and a growing smile at his new awakeness, halts. He doesn't even look offended, just blinks. Everything goes silent save the clacking of old, too-rusted AC.

Then Tomiyama hums, a dissonant sound to the rumble, "Right, sorry."

He backs off. Not once does Togame's attention stray from Sakura. It gives Sakura the space he needs to pull himself together.

He's at Shishtoren. He came here to thank them for the help. There was a thank you gift... somewhere. Now, he in a lockeroom, lights pale and shitty and most definately needing to be replaced. It smells faintly of pit stains and stupidity.

Fuck, what happened?

Togame repeats himself, drawing back where most people would pull in closer, "What do you remember last?"

Sakura scoots back, and his shoulder meets a bench. It's the only comfort he has in this situation, and he leans on it like a lifeline.

The tile he was sitting on is void of blood, and when he reaches back to press on the back of his head, it comes away dry.

"I was...coming here to thank you."

A nod.

"And I gave you that bread... and those stupid plant seeds Umemiya told me to bring."

A nod. A laugh. The tension fades from Togame's shoulders. Sakura mimics the movement. He slowly allows himself to look around to see a small army's worth of boys, all hovering around them. So many eyes, all of them listening.

His throat is sore. It's the final piece of the puzzle. Embarassment floods his body down to his toes, and he curls in on himself.

"Oh my fucking god."

The tension breaks, the whole room collapsing into various states of hysterics. Togame's seriousness is a distant memory as his cheeks swell. He falls back onto the slanted bench with a big oomph, and like that, Tomiyama brightens.

"You really gave us a scare there, gosh! I thought at first you had some kind of seizure or something, but then you kept coughing all," He mimics the action of choking, "And that was really scary. Togame, I didn't know you knew how to resuscitate someone!"

He shrugs, "I have a lifeguard license, you know that."

As Tomiyama's attention diverts, Sakura's memory returns. He had been roped into a game with Shishtoren. Apparently, it was team building or something, he didn't care. He was there to thank them; he had absolutely no space to deny them.

In the locker room, he'd been chowing down on a bag of pretzels when he saw it. Tomiyama was changing into some shorts or something.

Togame was blatantly staring. No. He was practically devouring the sight, eyes heavy and intent, and so clearly, obviously possessive, it mades Sakura's whole body burn.

In his surprise, he may have accidentally swallowed a pretzel the wrong way. But— 

Recessutate.

Tomiyama said recessutate. Which meant one thing.

Sakura palms his lips, a smacking sound crashing through the room, which only seems to push the hysterics into mania. Togame looks frustratingly unbothered.

"You— So that— You—" It's a lost cause as Sakura tries to get the words out.

Togame just pushes to a stand. Sakura's lips are slightly damp. He wipes it and pinches the lingering feeling there. They kinda hurt, honestly. So does his chest. So does breathing.

"I'm impressed you managed to choke that seriously," Togame says as if it isn't the most embarrassing thing to say in this moment.

He looks perfectly aware of this fact.

Tomiyama bounces to a stand beside him, coming in to block the space between the two of them. "Well! Are you okay? No more almost dying, that's stressful, and we're supposed to be calming down."

"You say it like it's his fault," another boy comments, but it's fond.

All of them look at him fondly. Though he's distracted by the sheer mortification at every part of this, there's the warmth of the moment that keeps him from running away.

They all look so happy. So different from the first time he met them.

It's nice.

Except for maybe right now. Right now, he'd rather they be a bit more solemn about him almost dying, but that's fine.

Tomiyama just hums and turns on his heel in a fluid motion. "Okay, now that that's settled, let's go!"

They follow him easily, a few giving him a pointed look and some even giving him a light pat on the shoulder, which makes him want to throw them across the room.

One of them, the one with the flat, kid-like bowl cut with the half-bleached hair, even comments, "Hiragi says you're not allowed to die," as he passes by.

Great, he's going to get lectured now.

Togame doesn't follow them physically, but his eyes might as well be tied with an invisible wire to the bright leader of Shishtoren.

He wears it so obviously. Getting a tattoo of the guy's name would be more subtle. The way his body shifts, shoulders open to wherever the other boy walks. His whole face falls in this welcoming, 'come kiss me', look. Everything he does is in service, somehow, to him. 

It's fucking embarassing.

Sakura has had enough and pushes to follow, only after most people have already filtered out. Only when Sakura leaves, however, does Togame kick up from his lounge on the old lockeroom bench. Weird motherfucker.

The lockeroom gives way to a big outside courtyard with yellowing grass and barely-there white and red paint in the mockup of a soccer field, but there are no nets or anything. It really could use some better attention, but well, this isn't Furin.

It's odd to watch a different group interact. It's the exact same. A brown haired boy is jumping onto the back of a bleach-blond boy's shoulders while the blond seems to be doing his best to run away. Graffiti litters the walls, the windows, and the sidewalk. They look to their leader like he has hung the stars.

It's completely different, too.

Hierarchy is obvious. Young, gangly boys run to gift water bottles and packaged foods to older boys who fill their uniform well. They're harsher around each other, too. The graffiti is more often than not phallic or offensive in some form.

It's closer to what Sakura imagined Furin would be like.

It's the exact environment Sakura was expecting to conquer. Distantly, he realizes, he would do well here. Climbing to the top would be easy.

He can't even imagine it.

He shouldn't find that comforting.

Sakura finds his way to a rather unoccupied part of the open field space where grass has been worn down to nothing but dirt. It must've been where the old soccer nets were—kleat marks still claiming the spot that once was.

There are memories here. He always hates shit like this. He watches his steps over the marks.

Togame follows him, and Sakura can't help but be glad. He sure isn't going to start the conversation with anybody else.

"You sure you're alright?"

Sakura grunts as a response. The sun bums the back of his neck. Across the field, the boy trying to get a free piggyback ride gets launched into the grass.

"Thanks for agreeing to stick 'round. Choji always likes new faces."

Sakura grunts again, "Sure."

When the brunette boy rounds on his friend, clawing at the crown of his hair and wrapping his other arm around his neck, gaining the upper hand, Togame is the one to boom out, "Hey! Quit it! I don't want to have to kiss anybody else back to life today!"

The two of them pause. They break out into laughter, the blonde shouting something along the lines of 'is that a promise?' before the fight has disappeared.

It is way too fucking hot out, Sakura's skin burning like a kettle. "Do you have to say that so loud?" He half shouts, half mumbles around his tongue.

"Oh, c'mon, it's not like it was a real kiss."

Sakura turns away.

Across from them, around the mid-field line, Tomiyama is busy chatting up someone and waving his hands around excitedly. He jumps around as he talks, always in a pseudo-fighting stance.

Is that what makes a leader, then?

"Why doesn't Tomiyama stop their fighting?" He asks. It sounds accusatory, and he's working on it, but it seems irresponsible.

Togame is the one who acts like a leader between them.

Togame just shrugs, his hand going to his neck. He reaches to mess with hair that is no longer there, then catches himself. It's still there, though. That devotion. It's as clear in the sunlight as it is when there's violence in his eyes. It's the same as when there's regret in his voice.

Always devoted.

"I couldn't make anybody follow me. Just the rules," He drops the look for the moment like the stuttering of an engine, looking at Sakura, "He's the type of guy people can believe in."

The type of guy people believe in? Sakura bites his grin like gum. He thinks of a gardener’s thumb and tomatoes.

"Sounds familiar."

But then the engine kicks back. Tomiyama does something a bit too loud, calling attention back to himself. Everybody looks. Like they can't help themselves.

Sakura's used to being stared at, but not like this. Someone you can believe in, huh? He doesn't realize he's gritting his teeth until they ache.

He rubs at the new soreness in his jaw. He steps towards the crowd that's beginning to form at Tomiyama's posturing.

"Let's just get this over with already."

Togame follows, "You sound so defeated already."

"Shuddup. Prepare to lose."

Capture the flag. Two captains: Tomiyama and Togame, naturally. Teams are picked lineup style. Better known as Sakura, waits for his last draw while everyone tells themselves At least I won't be picked last. It's not like he'll be upset, anyway. This isn't even his school—

"Sakura!"

He jolts a the bright voice. Of course, Tomiyama got first pick. They've barely shared three conversations and one meal together.

Him?

He waits too long as he stumbles, takes a step forward. He gives a wide-eyed look. An 'are you sure', with his eyebrows.

He nods. Waves over, impatient. Togame doesn't wait, already calling someone else. They don't wait for his mind to catch up to the realization, and even as he places himself next to the energetic dude, he still pauses at every step.

Maybe it’s a weird, convoluted tactic, because it makes Sakura dermine, in a quick moment, that he will do absolutely anything to win this game. Screw his original plan (do as little as humanely possible and then leave as quick as the game was over.)

He doesn’t want to let him down.

Which is stupid. They aren’t even friends. But when the teams are fully decided, Tomiyama jumps up, shoving at Sakura’s shoulders, and cheers, “Don’t let me down!”

Sakura wants to listen.

"You can count on me."

After the final person's name is called, the worst question ever is asked.

"So whose shirts?"

Oh, Fuck no.

And of course, Tomiyama loses the coin toss. Why would he win it? Nobody else seems to give a fuck, though, stripping off their shirts. Some even seem happy about it: one kid with frizzy, buzzed short hair showing off a long cut down his forearm.

They're all guys, it doesn't even matter. And on the bright side, everybody seems to be littered with scars. It's just skin.

Still, he freezes when he pulls his shirt over his shoulders. It feels good, the wind coming down to pick up the sweat travelling down his spine.

But he still looks like a dog mauled him. The bruises are yellow and brown, healing, but ugly. He ignores the eyes. It's one thing he's good at.

Five minutes into capture the flag, Sakura hasn't even touched the flag, and gotten bailed out of jail three times. It is the worst game of capture the flag Sakura has ever played.

To be fair, the field they're playing on is massive. All the front outside grounds of Shishtoren are fair game. There's one big turf line splitting the territory along with two designated "Jails" on each turf side on the left and right sides.

The rules are standard. The complexity comes from the sheer stupidity that is the size of the field. Sakura can't keep track of everything, and everybody is moving at their own beat.

Also, another rule.

"Tagging" doesn't mean simply making contact. It means making a punch connect. Which, in Sakura's opinion, is completely unfair, because he's always been the punch and get punched type.

He's not scared of a few bruises. And so when the first fist came flying by, some kid whose arms were the thickness of toothpicks, he knew it wouldn't hurt.

But it made contact.

Jail for him.

The second time was that dude—the one who knows Hiragi. That cheater snuck up on him, hiding on top of one of the awnings to land a punch to his back. Again, didn't hurt.

But still, Jail for Sakura.

The third, it was so stupid. So, so stupid. Somebody was hurling a punch at Sakura, and Sakura had caught the punch. And it counted as connecting! That is so dumb.

It's a walk of shame every time back to his home base.

But what's most frustrating?

Tomiyama and Togame.

They are playing a fun little game of keep-away. At the start of the game, Togame waved his flag in front of everybody with a big, fat grin on his face and placed it at the most open part of their territory.

And Tomiyama fell for it.

Since then, Tomiyama has been playing an increasingly impressive game of avoiding Togame's blows. Redirecting, dodging, jumping, ducking. Everything. And he seems to have completely forgotten about the flag.

Actually, now that he's getting a look on his (third) walk back, nobody is.

On both sides of the turf, people seem to have delved into their own mini-games of don't get punched. Absolutely zero strategy, and hey, that's fine by Sakura, but he wants to win. Unless there's some kind of strategy he's missing here.

Then again, nobody on Togame's team is attacking either. To have anyone protect their flag would mean revealing its position.

But how will anybody lose or win at this standstill? He's not smart enough for this. Oh, whatever. It's not like standing in the safe zone will do anything. He charges back into Togame's turf.

Someone instantly locks on him, peeling off from a two-on-one against one of Tomiyama's guys. Sakura gets about three feet from the line—set by a basketball hoop pole.

"Again?" The boy shouts. Great, Sakura's building a reputation.

He has dark, shaggy hair and looks vaguely familiar with a canine countenance. That's as far as his memory goes. It's a blessing he can remember his own schoolmate's names, let alone these guys.

Nirei isn't here, after all.

Nirei would probably be great at this game.

He swings, getting in close. Too bad for him—that's what Sakura's best at. He ducks into a semi-flying roll, sweeping out his feet and not stopping to let him gather his bearings.

He's decided.

He wants that flag. No complicated strategy, who cares? This system, especially the fact that his punching back doesn't do anything on opposing teams' turf, defeats half the fun of the punching rule. So he doesn't need to engage.

And anyway, he told Tomiyama he wouldn't let him down.

His goal is to reach Togame and Tomiyama's whirlwind of limbs and movement, a great thunderstorm. The lightning quick of Tomiyama's movements and the thundering sounds of Togame's feet as they crush into the floor.

There are three things in his way from them, and he has that shaggy-haired boy trailing him.

One at a time. Mostly because his first obstacle does not leave time to think about anything else.

One of his teammates gets punched in the stomach, biting out a "Ah fuck man—" with a frown that speaks more of frustration than pain.

The dude who punched him?

Yeah, Sakura remembers this fucker.

It's one of the boys Sakura saw when he first met Shishtoren—the prick that was picking on a middle schooler. Last Sakura knew, he'd been kicked out of Shishtoren.

He rounds on Sakura, all instinct, brown hair flopping like a fish fin. There's a welt on his lips, cracks in his knuckles. That's all Sakura takes in before dropping to a sweeping kick.

As he goes down, he plants his palm and swings his weight to the guy's inner ankle. As he lands, his wrist gives out—fuck. He's still not fully recovered from Endo.

He tumbles.

Behind him, Shaggy guy shouts, "He's mine!"

It's a useless comment. Asshole is way too close and Sakura's back is to him and—

Nothing comes.

He follows the momentum to roll onto his back and pop back up. His wrist stings. Great. That's one more week of healing.

And asshole is just... staring... this wide eyed look, body pitched forward and all his weight in his front foot. He doesn't even try to move, and Sakura's instincts are quicker than his brain.

He grabs the half-raised arm and pulls, a bit too rough, and then kicks in his ankle, sending him like a boulder to the ground.

He goes on. He ignores the afterimage of guilty eyes. Pretends it didn't happen.

Two more to go.

The next is that toothpick-arm kid. It's much easier for him this time around. He fakes left and has to stop himself from gloating as he falls for it easily.

In front of him, the third obstacle lands a foot into Tomiyama's forearms.

Well, shit.

Tomiyama doesn't even seem to register the loss for a moment. His eyes are wide and he's grinning from ear to ear, face flushed red from the exertion. He's glowing.

Just like Umemiya does. Just like Tagishi.

And Togame's eyes are dilated, lips lax, and nose smattered with blood. His hair clings to his face. All of it, forgotten. Sakura can see the invisible string threadded through his cornea and tied around Tomiyama.

Just like Tsubakino. Just like Endo.

Like seed to soil; like zealot to god.

It's all he can do to ground his feet against the pavement. His breath sharpens in his ears. His heart is bass-boosted in an accelerating thu-thump, thu-thump. His fingers don't so much curl as bind into his palm.

Tomiyama barks a laugh, as if losing their exchange was some great joke. Togame's cheeks curl. Swell with red.

"Finally. Gotcha."

All Sakura hears is: I love you.

Sakura wants to puke.

Instead, he ducks.

Shaggy and Toothpick tumble over his body, soaring above him, and their shoulders knocking. They slide against the yellow grass, leaving a smear of dirt in their wake, not a foot from Togame and Tomiyama's side.

He charges the flag, jumping over the mess of bodies. He reaches for the red, flapping fabric. Togame is distracted still, the perfect chance to—

Thud. His shoulder hits the floor.

Every injury he's ever had seems to flare back to life, head hitting the dirt in a whiplash. Togame's heavy body presses him down, trapping him on the floor.

Dirt. Grass. His head collected green, chlorophyllic stains. A hand on his head. Gathering the strands in thin fingers, pulling, digging. Stinging lips that whisper, "I love you."

But never sorry.

Sakura groans. Blinks the phantom memory from his eyelids.

"Nice try, man."

A fist lands, softly, at his shoulder. It's soft, and it aches worse than any of the other punches previously. Fucking hell.

They lose. After Tomiyama and Sakura both have been put out of commission, their team loses steam. The carefully crafted balance of attack and defense crumbles, and the few people on the skins team untagged retreat to defense, but it's a moot point.

Toothpick kid winds up getting the flag. Typical.

Weirdly enough, Tomiyama cheers him on as he runs it across the other side—runs to him and jumps to give him a double high-five.

Sakura retreats to the locker room to lick his wounds. He’s paid his dues—stayed his welcome. Time to go.

The lockeroom cool, which earlier was jarring, calms him. It's different when nobody is in it. The dented lockers look like relics, artifacts, rather than just-made memories.

In the mirror, he catches the first glimpse of himself he's gotten in a long while. It's something he avoids, if he can.

He flinches away from the beaten-down dog that stares back at him, slipping into his shirt.

"You good?"

Togame.

Sakura tugs his shirt all the way down. Togame's hair has gone from sweaty and clinging to overly fluffy, a tangled mess on his head. He ruffles it, kicks the floor, and shuffles.

"Yeah, obviously. I'm gettin' outta here, I got stuff to do."

An easy lie. Togame sees through him and nods anyway.

"'Course. Hope Choji didn't scare ya' too much with his enthusiasm. He's just happy you're here."

"Wait, huh? What are you talking about?"

Togame doesn't seem to notice the confusion in Sakura's voice, passing him to go to his locker. He pops it open—no lock.

"Well, he's wanted to see you again properly since you guys first met."

Sakura stares down at a tile on the floor. There's a faint, barely there carving. 'Fuck this school'. This lockeroom is a relic. These things remain, even if they aren't talked about.

"Why? We just beat the shit out of eachother."

A sigh, "C'mon, you know it meant more than that."

It's too quiet. Togame's voice is too soft, filled with something too similar to the way he sounds when he talks to Tomiyama. Not the same, but not so different. Sakura knows how to recognize these signs now. It's care.

A hand lands on his shoulder twice in a casual pat. Too soft. Makes his skin crawl. Sakura continues to stare at the carving.

"You changed us all, you know. Choji respects— he likes you for that," Then, "I had fun today."

Sakura whirls around, ripping the bandaid off. It's worse than he imagined. Togame isn't smiling, or smirking, or being kind and sweet-faced. His face is slack. His body is open, hand pocketed away.

This is care.

Sakura steps away to make distance. Togame doesn't follow him. He doesn't need to. His breath echoes in the room. His reflection's gaze meets the beaten-down dog through the dirty bathroom mirror.

"Why did you hesitate when you charged our flag?" He asks.

Not an easy question. Sakura wants to bullshit him. He moves to say he's seeing things, offering a polite excuse to get out of there.

And then says, "I don't know."

He doesn't move or show any sign of recognition at all. It's easier—emotionless. Clinical, like ticking off the boxes of doctor wellness checks.

Sakura always felt like a liar, a long string of nos, and I'm doing greats filling his page. Sakura's a really piss-poor liar.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

Sakura bites his lip before speaking, the taste of iron comforting, "It made me want to puke."

They stare. Sakura licks at the blood in his gums. Togame breaks first into a sharp laugh and doubles over. Sakura watches.

Through his hysterics, he wipes his eye, "Oh, is it that obvious? I heard rumors about your 'romance sensor', but I didn't realize it was that big of a deal. I guess Umemiya wasn't kidding."

His chuckling continues like a sink valve not fully closed. Sakura turns away from his reflection. "Yea, well, I gotta go, c'ya."

Sakura moves to the bathroom door and makes it as far as the handle before a hand slams onto the wood.

"Sakura, no, I'm sorry for laughing, whassup?"

"Wha— nothin'? What's your deal—?"

"Were you embarrassed?" He presses.

Sakura's face floods. He knows what it looks like. "I mean, yeah, the way you look at him in public— how can you just— like just... uh."

He takes a stabilizing breath. Togame waits, patient, which makes sense. A guy in love with Tomiyama would have to be.

"You love him."

A nod.

"And he knows?"

A shake.

Sakura steps back, leans against the bathroom wall. "How can you live like that? It sounds... fucking shitty."

Togame lowers his hand, mirrors his posture, and then continues to drop on his ass. His hand cards through his hair.

"It's not that bad. Not if it's for him."

Sakura sinks too. It feels appropriate. Not that he would know.

"Does he love you?"

Togame just shrugs. It's worse, somehow, than a proper admission. Like this is some soft, easy thing. Yet he's bled for the man. He hurts for Tomiyama .

Tomiyama doesn't even know how nice he has it.

Sakura groans, smiles, "I can't stand watching your bullshit."

Togame smiles, and his voice is croaky. Why are his eyes red?

"It's pretty stupid, yeah."

Sakura doesn't know why, but now he's cracking up, laughs coming through his lungs almost painfully. Because it's funny, but it's really not. Because Togame is in love with his best friend, and it's so fucking obvious, and yet not at all.

It's funny, because Sakura is so jealous he can taste it. He's more jealous than of the kids on vacation with their families when he was left at home. He's more jealous than of those rich kids in their Porches and red Volkwagons, soft top pulled back and bright music booming over the town.

Sakura has been burning with it.

And here Togame is, unfazed.

How nice it must be to be in love. How horrifying.

Togame laughs with him, because on some level, he must understand why Sakura is laughing. It fills up the empty, cold space of the lockeroom, echoing back to them. It sounds like a mocking, but hell if he cares.

It dies down, and the room feels warmer for it.

"Why don't you tell him?"

"I'm scared, I guess. I'm fine with how things are."

Sakura knows it's not the reciprocation Togame's worried about. It's obvious, even if by some cosmic punishment, Tomiyama doesn't return the feelings, he'll treat Togame the same.

No, he's probably more scared of what would change if Tomiyama felt the same.

Probably. What does Sakura know?

Then, "Thanks for coming here. I had fun."

"I'm sure you did. You won."

"Did you not have fun?" It's a genuine question.

Sakura really, really hates Togame.

"Nah, it was pretty sick."

When Sakura finally leaves Togame, pressing out of the growing stifling air, his phone buzzes.

[>sakuraaaaa]

[>did you lie to me?]

The alley is dark and damp, dripping with musty leftovers from a storm. Feet tap against concrete. A body thuds, somebody stumbles. It's hard to see, dark in the late day and shadowed by high walls.

And somehow, light finds a way to Nirei anyway. Always.

Suo didn't realize what it would mean to be his teacher.

At first, it was for Nirei's sake, as well as Sakura's. To raise the skill of the weakest is to raise the whole team. It's common sense.

And of course, Nirei is improving, too. He wants to, after all, and Nirei is the type of person who can get away with stuff like that. Pushing past natural skill based on sheer want is a talent Nirei does not so much have as is defined by.

He wants so blatantly.

He takes too.

Like now, as he punches a black-haired boy across the face.

His form is textbook, if not a little stiff. Suo can find his critiques--Nirei's shoulders aren't squared quite right, his arm is a little too far extended--but they're minor things. Inconsequential, really.

And Nirei doesn't even look impressed at himself, or nervous. Maybe it's all the practice punches he forced Nirei to do, but he has a knife's point focus.

Suo didn't realize what it would mean to be Nirei's teacher. Because now, he's grinning for Nirei. His chest is ballooning as the crack sounds.

And Suo almost gets punched for it. He barely manages to dodge, and in no less than five quick movements, the three other boys are on the ground.

Nirei is not so lucky. The now crooked-nosed boy didn't take lightly to being punched, holding Nirei by the scalp and overextending his arm behind his back.

"Don't fucking move," He growls.

Nirei's focus, now thrown off his rhythm, has shattered. He's perfectly still except for the shake of his breath.

Something silver glints from his hand despite the darkness. A knife.

The boy repeats, "Don't fuckin' move!"

Suo listens. Nirei listens too. How to get out of this one?

The boy's eyes are shifty, flinging from Suo to his friends on the ground, to the street behind him. He's trapped by the wall. Caged. That's when someone is most dangerous, though.

He tests his luck, shuffles forward.

"Suo--!"

"Shut up! Just shut up! And I said stay still you fucking-- fuck..."

The boy whispers that last part, as if to himself. His eyes still don't settle, and Suo can't see anymore of the knife, but given the way Nirei's body has gone tense, the blade is against his skin.

So he's jumpy. And fidgety. He sniffles and curses to himself, breathing the loudest thing echoing off the high walls around them.

"Stay back..."

"Okay, I won't move a muscle," Suo dawns his gentlest tone, raising his steady hands. "So, what happens next?"

He jolts, "Fuck you mean, what happens next?"

Suo keeps eye contact with him while he keeps looking away, doing anything to avoid his eye. Big mistake.

"You've never done this before, haven't you?"

Nirei's breath hitches.

The boy frowns, smiles, tsks. He's all over the place. Erratic, but by the way Nirei is pushing his chest out as far as it can go, he's also willing to act on his word.

"Doesn't exactly take experience to stab someone."

Suo nods, "Oh, of course not. I'm talking about after."

"Huh..."

"After you stab him," Nirei's breath hitches again. Suo will apologize later. "There's nothing stopping me from breaking your neck in this alley. So, do you feel like finding out what happens next?"

Nirei strains. Suo can't blame him; he knows how convincing his words sound. The bluff rolls off his tongue easily.

The boy licks his lips, pulls Nirei back a step, tugging on his contorted arm. Further swallowed by the shadows. But Suo doesn't need to see him, doesn't need to move, to get to him.

"Just let him go, yeah? Pretend this never happened."

A sniff. It's hard to see the shake of his head, "Can't do that-- no, you're a liar, anyway."

He smiles, "Me? You don't even know me. C'mon. I want my friend unstabbed, if possible."

"Liar... that's what they said--" 

A horn blares. The alley floods with blue and red--a vibrant purple revealing the dull blade at Nirei's side. The tension is cut into tiny pieces, thrown to the wolves.

Suo stands perfectly still as a car door opens, slams shut. He swallows, grits his teeth, and prepares to take somebody to the hospital.

"Everyone! Hands up!"

The Makochi police. The most dangerous gang in all of Makochi. Nirei's breath stops entirely. His shoulders are already bracing.

The boy's teetering edge of stability breaks, dropping Nirei's arm and instead grabbing him by the scalp and pulling. Nirei's posture is pulled straight, a human shield with a knife now posed at his throat.

"I'll kill him!"

"Suo!" Nirei gasps.

His barely-there calm warbles into terror. His cutoff breaths seize and sputters like some failing engine. If he panics, if he tries to pull away, he will get hurt.

"It's okay, Nirei, everything will be fine," he shifts his focus from the attacker to Nirei. He can't calm the attacker anymore. This is all on Nirei.

"I said hands up! You hear me?" The officer's voice grows, footsteps nearing. "You-- red-head! Step away now!"

Suo takes a step back to please him.

"Nirei, I need you to listen to me--"

"Let go of the knife!"

"Stay calm. Wait. Use your head."

Then he's being shoved away by the officer. He's larger, wrinkles painting his fingers. He's way too old to be a police officer. His uniform is untucked in the back, and... his gun.

The fucking safety is on.

The man takes two steps closer than where Suo was, and the boy steps away too, encroaching on the wall. Soon, he'll have nowhere left to back up against.

"Let him go, or I'll shoot!"

No, Suo can work with this.

The officer drops one hand to the radio on his hip, muttering some code Suo doesn't understand. He's loud, waving his gun again, "Drop the knife!"

"N-No! No way! Don't point that at me, you'll just shoot him!" The boy taunts, further hiding behind Nirei.

Such a coward. It's disgusting.

Nirei swallows, pressing the blade further, "Please... don't shoot sir..." he whispers.

The boy is too distracted, staring down at the silver-shining gun, but Nirei just looks at Suo. He's scared, that much is obvious. But there's something more there, a rise to his face.

He's looking for Suo to know what to do.

What can he do?

The gun with safety on, the boy's channeled focus on the officer, and then Nirei. Three variables. Two he cannot control, and only one of those is unpredictable. At least the police in Makochi have a familiar routine.

"I'll give you three seconds!"

Nirei's full face goes slack. He's starting to tear up. He stops resisting the boy.

'Suo?' he mouths.

Suo nods. It's just like training. Watch and do.

He mimics the action Nirei needs to take to break the hold. Grab the hand, pull it down, and away. Try and peel out under the arm holding you. It's simple when you have a proper demonstration.

Lucky for him, Nirei's a fantastic student.

"Three!"

Nirei nods. He understands. Hopefully.

"Two!"

Suo mouths 'Now', and Nirei reacts like a trigger is fired. He grabs the wrist and pulls down, and Suo charges. The police officer says something, and Suo hears the attempted pull of a trigger. It doesn't matter.

Nirei manages to avoid being cut, and the boy shrieks. Suo wrenches the knife from the boy's hand and then kicks him off Nirei. Nirei stumbles away, collapsing to the floor with a shout. Suo throws the knife as far as he can away.

If the police weren't there, he doesn't know what he would've done with it. Across the ground, Nirei is finally giving in to his panic, dry-heaving as his pants stain from the wet alley. He's probably trying to puke.

Suo digs his face into the concrete. Feels the satisfying resistance of skin against pavement. He wants to drag it all the way across the alleyway. He deserves it.

"You--" the officer stumbles, pulling his attention.

Suo can see him better now. Salt and pepper stubble. Bushy eyebrows. His skin is creamy, if not a bit patchy. As far as he can tell, not a scar on those pudgy fingers.

It might be biased, well, Suo's never liked the police.

"Put your hands up!"

He relents. He smiles. "Of course, officer."

Suo winds up cuffed in a police office.

By some miracle, he managed to silence Nirei enough to make sure he wouldn't be dragged in with him. It's bad enough he's being dragged to the hellhole that is the police department, worse to have Nirei stuck there after having a gun to his face.

Though this isn't better. Nirei was probably already questioned, and Suo asked him to text someone to get him, but Nirei is vulnerable right now. Suo needs to make sure he's okay.

A new officer comes in--younger than the man who arrived on the scene. His hands are crooked, fading burns there as he puts down a cup of tea.

His voice is weirdly feminine despite his large frame and hairy arms."Tea? Coffee?"

Suo's hands are cuffed to a chair.

"Tea would be lovely."

He grunts, shoves the cup over. Doesn't even comment on the inability of Suo to drink it. He crosses his ankle over his knee and flips a paper on a clipboard.

He only truly looks at Suo then. More specifically, his jacket collar. His expression immediately flattens. Suo can see the gears turning at the realization he's from Furin.

"So, uh," he grunts, wipes at his nose, "What happened?"

Suo shifts, and the cuffs clack in the room. It's cold. The chair isn't any better. "Is it possible to be let go from the handcuffs? I promise I'll behave."

He grunts, "Ukita said you resisted. Violent offenders have to stay cuffed. Sorry, kid."

He doesn't sound very sorry. Suo licks at a sore in his mouth, peeling at the skin there. His foot is unruly, tapping violently against the cold linoleum. "I understand," He hums.

He nods. Waits. Taps his clipboard to the same beat as Suo's foot, "Kid, what happened?"

His fingers jangle the handcuff chain, stricken at the nickname. "My friend and I were just doing some shopping when we ran into a few unsavories on the street. We were just walking by when they started picking on us."

Suo bats his eyes, bows his head with a grimace. He forces his foot to stop its pattering, slipping into something else. He needs to get back. Needs to make sure Nirei is okay.

"They cornered us in that alley and... uhm... they threatened to do things.. to us, if we didn't listen. I was scared, you know? I just-- oh I don't know," he shakes his head the smallest amount, avoids eye contact at the right parts, and phrases, "I don't know what they meant by that, but, uhm, well, I knew no matter what we were in danger. I tried to get away when they attacked us."

He shifts back in his chair, shoulders turning to properly face Suo now. His eyebrows raise a little bit. His tone shifts when he speaks, "I see. Well, if you can, what happened during the fight? Do you know why they attacked you?"

Suo hunches his shoulders, narrows his feet. Avoiding eye contact is critical.

"Uhm, Well... I think it was because they thought we had money. But after he threatened... other things--"

"Define 'other things'."

Hook, line, sinker, as people say.

"Uhm... I thought he was saying he'd uh, rape us."

A nod. He scribbles something down on the page.

"I was so relieved when you showed up. Can you thank him for me? Mr.Ukita, you said?"

He almost snarls as he says the officer's name.

The officer puts down his pen with a sigh, getting comfortable. "Yeah, I'll tell him that. It's what we do. You know, you Furin boys, you need to be more careful. I see you guys getting into fights all the time, but we never get any calls."

Suo's chains jangle. He hates being in handcuffs. They feel like they're burning. Freezing. All too much. He's trapped.

"Keep gettin' in fights and you wind up thirty and havin' fistfights in resturaunt kitchens. Ah, oh well. I'll see about getting those chains off."

"Thank you so much," Suo whispers, biting a smile.

By the time he's released, his nerves are worn to the bone. He can admit that. The officer leads him to the door with a nod and a curt goodbye, saying they'll call if anything else comes up.

The waiting room is a greyed-out blue, yellowing at the window panes and door. Two brave lights fight their best to illuminate the room. As always, it finds Nirei, painting him in yellows that complement his natural color. He occupies one of the two metal fold-out chairs.

The other one is empty.

Stupid Nirei.

Suo's shoulders drop, feet tacking over to him. The hand clock above him says it's 10:21, and the window says it's way too dark to be waiting alone in a police station.

"Nirei."

His head flicks up and he forgets his phone, little character seeminly falling to his demise at his diverted attention. He drops the jacket and phone in his arms, launches up, and hugs him.

It is so warm.

Politeness makes him return the hold, hands placing gently down between his shoulder blades. For someone who doesn't fight, there's a decent line of strength there, if a little soft. He's solid. The warmth is fantastic.

Nirei lets go first to throttle Suo's shoulders.

"Suo!" He shouts, then repeats, "Suo!"

"That is my name," He affirms, to which Nirei scowls.

"You're okay? I can't believe they actually took you into custody in cuffs! That's stupid, that officer saw... what happened..."

Nirei's hands tighten on his shoulders. His lips are terse at the corners as his words trail off, as if it's too much of an effort.

"Nirei? Are you okay?"

His eyes are so wide. The poor light of the police station reflects in them. They're terribly dim, but in his eyes they look like the sun.

"Am I okay? Suo..." His hands drop down, he reels away to an appropriate distance apart, knees hitting the metal fold out chair. He frowns, "Suo you're shaking."

Oh.

He grasps his hands together behind his back. He's right. No matter how tightly he holds them, they won't stop. He can still feel the cuffs at his wrists.

"I'll be fine."

A pause. Nirei pulls away just a little further. The stars of his eyes aren't any dimmer for it. "It's not."

Suo steps away, forces stillness through every part of his body. He's not a child. Everything is fine now. Nirei's okay.

"Nirei, please, you think something like this bothers me?"

Nirei's hands find each other in front of him. They bind together, just like how Suo's did. He watches the way they go pale and bloodless.

"I mean, it's fine if it does--"

"It's not like getting an ancient dragon sealed in your eye, after all," he smiles, a stupid inside joke as he points to his eyepatch. It's a vulnerability he doesn't even realize he's admitting, "This is nothing."

Nirei sees it. Suo know's he sees the admission for what it truly is. Suo turns. He's tired and all he wants now is to collapse into bed and start fresh tomorrow.

"Thank you for saving me."

Suo pretends he doesn't hear the whisper. It's cruel, he's perfectly aware. But he can't respond to it. He can't accept it.

He's a liar, sure, but not a fraud.

"Yo, we got zip ties? He keeps slipping out of em' cuffs."

"No shit why, look how skinny he is. Get him a bit more food next time. They sell worse anyway when they look all gross and skinny like that."

"I mean... alright sure," a shuffle. A grunt. Suo doesn't dare try opening his eye. If he does, he'll be reminded of everything he can't see.

"I mean, look at that scar, though. He's gross as is."

A shuffle. Then, a hand is grabbing his jaw, crushing his mouth. It's instinct that he opens his eye, but it's too late. The man in blue pulls a grainy cloth over his eyes.

"There. Scary demon all sealed away."

"Oh fuck off."

"—Two Furin students were caught in the crossfire last night along 23rd Street. Local police officer, Officer Ukida, showed up on the scene to find one of the students with a knife to his neck—"

Wrong. It was only after they showed up that the knife moved from his back to his neck. But whatever. Nirei pokes the crispy edge of the egg in his pan.

"—It speaks to a growing problem of gang violence in the town. We sent out a survey to the citizens of Makochi recording how safe they felt and the results were, surprising.

"As seen here, it has shot up dramatically in the past three years. From a concerning 62% of citizens fearing for their safety out on the street, it's now just around 39%. And yet, our average reports of crimes have remained steady."

Nirei doesn't miss the fact that they don't list the number of crimes reported. Namely, very minimal. Everybody knows not to call the police when something goes wrong in Makochi.

The sizzling oil in the pan pops up at him, burning his cheek. He flips the egg. It breaks, pouring a thick yellow over the pan.

"Awesome," Nirei mumbles before breaking the egg into pieces.

Chuck nuzzles at his knee, and Nirei caves too easily at his sad, wilty face, tossing some egg onto his nose. Very slowly, he drops it to the tile, stares at the piece, and then slobbers over the floor as he licks it up.

Nirei tosses him another before scraping his portion onto a plate. Eggs, leftover sausage, halved tomatoes. Perfect breakfast.

The news continues to chatter. The weather report. A closeby children's fundraiser. The usual.

When the house is empty, he likes leaving the news on. It's too quiet otherwise. He's lucky, though. His mom would have a fit if she learned her son was held at both knife and gunpoint. It reminds him, he needs to check up on how she's doing.

When he opens his phone, two things happen in quick succession:

One. It blinks open to over ninety-nine messages from the Furin first-year group chat.

Two. A knock booms on Nirei's door.

Nirei takes two seconds before stumbling out of his chair to get the the door. When he peeks through the peephole, he's greeted with split black and white hair, an angry expression, and fingers tapping harshly at a phone.

Wait, that's his caller ID—

Ring! Ring!

Nirei rushes to silence the phone in one breath and cracks open the door in the next, but he knows it's too late. Sakura is already glaring by the time it peels open.

A phone has never looked so treasured, cradled in his hands softly with his thumbs still hovering over the screen.

He came, Nirei thinks. Nirei wipes off the grease on his palm.

"Sakura?"

He drops the phone down to his sides. He looks angry, but Sakura has a habit of looking angry for most things. Even when he was happy, a wrinkle of frustration would linger in his brow.

As often things are with him, his next words are simple. And terribly complicated, too.

"You—!"

He stops. Tastes the words. Restarts.

"Who did it?"

An easy question on paper, except that isn't really what he's asking. Because he looks angry, sure, but he's clenching at his phone; his breath is heavy and his hair windswept and knotted; his jacket is buttoned wrong.

"I don't know." 

Then, he answers, "I'm okay."

Sakura shakes his head, "Yeah but, were they students? What school? Where were you guys? People can't just be going around with knives, this typ'a shit pisses me off."

As Sakura talks, Nirei opens the door wider, and steps out of the way. In his ranting, he doesn't seem to realize he's being invited in; doesn't seem to care as he accepts it.

He continues, "It's lame as shit to be going around doing— and, where was Suo? He acts all cool, there's nothin' cool about letting you almost get shanked."

"No, no, Suo's the only reason I got out okay. Without him I would've..." That's proably a bad thing to mention right now, "He saved me."

"Well, it shouldn't have been a problem at all."

Nirei shrugs, "Well, I'm okay now."

It's a standoff in his entrance room, but in a way, Nirei has already won. Sakura is in his apartment. The door is closed. He's not leaving.

Sakura licks his lips and checks his phone only to pocket it. The part of his hair is messy, the black side bleeding over to the white and white being swallowed by black. Oh, of course. He must even out the split himself every morning.

That's... really cute, given how much he says he doesn't care about his looks.

Maybe a bit sad.

Subtly, he wanders back to his kitchen. As they walk, he sees The Moment Sakura realizes he's stepped into Nirei's house. As he slips his shoes off, he looks up, snaps around towards the door, he lets out a quiet, "Hey..."

Nirei pretends not to hear.

It works.

Sakura follows.

Chuck is making out with Nirei's plate, slobbering over his eggs. It's a lost cause, and he abandons the plate to the floor for his greedy dog to lick clean.

"Have you eaten?"

Sakura follows Nirei to his kitchen, standing next to the stools at his counter. They face each other over salt shakers and a half-melted chicken candle.

"Uh, no."

He starts breakfast again, this time, for two.

Sakura is very bad at quiet, but even worse at conversation, so he buisies himself with Chuck. They get into a wrestling match within the first five minutes, Chuck mostly winning as he nips Sakura's fingers.

His incorrectly buttoned blazer bunches at his chest. Nirei burns his first egg staring at it.

He wants to ask Sakura if he ran here. But to point it out feels too much. He has to be careful with Sakura like this. It is a big admission.

Another egg goes on. This time, he listens to the sizzling. Behind them, the TV keeps mumbling. It's noisy. Good for distractions.

Sakura goads Chuck on, flopping his ears over.

He wants Sakura to admit it, though. That he was worried. But he won't push. He won't. Sakura is already here, that's more than he could ask for.

But then, Chuck ruffs at Sakura for his meddling. And Sakura smiles.

Nirei wants.

Chuck with his eggs, Nirei with Sakura. They're both greedy things.

"You ran all the way here."

Well, he said it.

Nirei glares at the slowly browning eggs. He doesn't want to watch Sakura flinch at the accusation. He just wants to hear, well, he doesn't know. Something. Something like an admittance.

Sakura sputters, and Nirei can hear the blush, "Well— They weren't sure you didn't get hurt! And... it's not like you bothered to tell me about it anyway."

He mumbles the last part.

"Oh."

It's cruel. Nirei didn't realize Sakura could be cruel. Except that isn't fair. Nirei plates the eggs. Puts it on the counter. Sakura doesn't reach for it.

He's not wrong. He didn't tell Sakura.

He braves a glance up, to where Sakura refuses to look at him. His ears are red, face is set in a downturned frown. He's staring at an old photo: of Nirei's dad. His dead dad. Not that Sakura knows that.

Sakura isn't going to ask for an apology. But Nirei can imagine it—Sakura reading through the group chat. Hearing about how his friends, his vice-captains, almost got stabbed or shot. And he didn't know.

Of course, Sakura's pissed. As both a captain and a friend. 

And it's fucked, the satisfaction that curls in his gut because of it. The fact that Sakura was worried enough to be mad at him—because of him.

It's disgusting.

He pushes the eggs across the marble, guilt swallowing him up to his ears. It's a poorly hidden plea for forgiveness.

Nirei could apologize. Admit he thought about calling every second after. But what if it's too much? What if Nirei takes more than what he's allowed?

Because he knows Sakura will give: Whatever he asks. Whether he wants to or not.

So instead: "They'll get cold," he says.

Sakura humms. He takes it.

Nirei burns the next one. Chuck's eating good this morning.

By the time they're finishing breakfast, Sakura manages to settle the weird feeling in his chest. Who does he think he is, anyway, storming to Nirei's house (uninvited), stealing his food, and making a problem for him.

Nirei doesn't owe him his every waking minute update. Nirei owes him jack shit.

And, you know what? Sakura can even admit it to himself. He was worried.

There. He admits it. Let the world know that Sakura Haruka was actually fucking worried. Who cares? It's normal to worry about your friends.

Sure, he can't fully get the words out, gaping at Nirei over the counter as he chews his fork. But Nirei must know. Why would he come running all the way over if he wasn't?

So. Yeah.

It's normal. It's cool.

But, just to make sure...

"So, you good, then? After yesterday?"

Sakura finally manages to ask, dropping a plate into Nirei's dishwasher. Nirei doesn't respond. More accurately, he doesn't seem to be paying attention, staring off at something on his phone.

"Nirei," He clears his throat, "you good?"

"Oh— huh? Yeah. Yeah, of course."

So yeah, everything is fine.

No, obviously it's not. But it will be. Sakura just needs to do something to dispel whatever weirdness is going on. A distraction?

Oh. Yeah. Sakura has just the thing.

"So... weird thing happened a few days ago."

Nirei hums and flicks his thumb over the screen.

"Endo texted me."

Sakura gets whiplash just watching Nirei's head jolt up, "What."

Silence returns. Sakura hides the bunching of his fingers in the front of his pants. Seriously, he really can't say anything right. His tongue grows heavy and useless.

Nirei places his phone down.

"Well, I mean it's not anything interesting," Sakura mumbles.

Nirei sure looks interested. Sakura smooths at the crease in the seam of his pocket.

"He just, well, remember how weirdly like, weird he was around me? So, I gave him my number 'cus he said he wouldn't bother Furin then, and he actually texted me."

Nirei nods, slowly. His fluffy beast of a dog lumbers over, all warm around Nirei, nosing his palm. And where was that affection for Sakura?

Nirei does not, however, break the silence. No, he just stares.

"What?" Sakura challenges, when Nirei doesn't respond.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just, uh, surprised," Nirei pats his dog lazily twice, then grabs his plate suddenly. He walks over. "So, what did you say then? What did he say?"

Sakura gets out of his way, leaning against the sink side. His palms get wet on the water there.

"Well it was kinda weird, his texts didn't go through the first time or something..."

Nirei closes the dishwasher with too much force.

Sakura is really shit at this whole friend thing. Nirei's dog follows his wake.

"He wants to meet up. Grab coffee."

Nirei nods again, scratches his dog, then moves the pots to the sink. Sakura's palms slip on the counter as he tries to get out of his way.

"Do you want any—"

The faucet turns on, spraying violently. It turns steamy within seconds.

"So what'd you say back?"

"Well I mean, I said sure."

Sakura is really, really bad at this friend thing. Nirei's hands are clumsy, dropping the pot multiple times. Sakura decides to cut his losses and get out of Nirei's way, moving back to the table.

He's already preparing to escape, at least pretend he's doing damage reduction, when he catches something. Nirei's watching him through the burnt reflection of the pan.

His knuckles are white against it.

Yet, there's no hatred. That much is obvious.

It's just Nirei.

He tastes the words. He visualizes the millions of ways Nirei could respond, and decides it's worth it, "I'm sorry."

Nirei's hands stop, for what it's worth. The faucet's loud spray cuts off abruptly. All that's left is the quiet chatter of the TV, the quiet hum of lights. Sakura's skin crawls and burns at the same time.

He wants to crawl out of it.

"I know he was awful and I don't want to, trust me, I think he was a jerk. I kinda feel bad for him, honestly. But yeah, I know he's awful," He pauses, "I'm sorry."

He hates apologizing. He's gotten his face beaten in because he refused to do so on priniple. Not when he hasn't done something wrong.

Sakura doesn't know he's done anything wrong, but he must've. Somewhere, it's obvious he fucked something up.

Coming here at all was a mistake.

Then again, Nirei is okay. He reminds himself, that it could be worse.

An apology is nothing.

Nirei's shoulders drop. He shakes his head and puts the pots down.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't... I'm being stupid."

"Huh?" Sakura says it slowly.

Nirei smiles, and looks over, "I'm not mad, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten like that. I'm just worried."

I'm not mad, just worried.

Sakura's never heard someone say that before. It makes sense.

He thinks of this morning. Thinks of not knowing whether his best friend, his first friend, was wholly intact or not. Or of what he went through. How he wasn't there.

It makes a lot of sense. He nods.

"It's really not my place to say but, you'll be careful right? I don't trust him."

His first instinct is to snap. His shoulder's even tense at the affection—the implication of weakness. What stops him is the smile Nirei's wearing.

It's sad.

"I don't trust him s'far as I can throw 'em."

"Okay."

It's not a promise. But it is something.

Sakura and Nirei are weird today. Usually, it's just one of them, but they came into school together today. Something must've happened.

By the first period's end, Suo has a list of ideas.

One: Nirei confessed.

Overall, unlikely. Either he'd be overjoyed and beaming if Sakura accepted, or he would've avoided him like the plague otherwise. It would explain the staring, though.

Two: Sakura said something wrong to Nirei.

More likely. Given how emotionally driven yet also unaware he is, it's entirely possible. Maybe he even had another bout of self-deprecation that sent Nirei over the edge. Possible.

Three: They're conspiring.

Unlikely. Not impossible. Odd behavior for them.

At lunch, Nirei pulls him away without so much as an excuse to Kiryu, Tsuguera, and Sakura. They barely make it to the lockerroom before:

"Sakura's going on a date with Endo."

Oh.

Four: Nirei's jealous. Sakura's oblivious.

Suo see's the problem.

"Wait, Sakura, Endo? I'm sorry, you mean tried to take over the school Endo?"

Beat the shit out of you Endo, he doesn't say.

Sakura has reinforced this about three times. Still, Kiryu struggles to believe it. In his opinion, it's a reasonable thing to be concerned over. Sakura, for what it's worth, doesn't even seem to believe himself.

"I don't fukin' know, he asked for my number at a weird time. Caught me off guard," He pulls his shirt off to change it. Before patrol, lately, Sakura's been changing into his old shirt. He must be trying not to ruin his new ones.

The shirt he's stripping off now was a gift from Tsugeura. An old workout shirt. In Kiryu's opinion, that should be the trash shirt, but oh well. Sakura works in weird, sentimental ways.

"He asked right after your fight with him?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, do you think he's dangerous?"

Across the locker room, under the toilet stalls, a pair of neat shoes sit, laces tied in perfect double knots. Suo always changes in the stalls.

But ten minutes is excessive.

He's surely eavesdropping. Not very gentlemanly at all. But very Suo.

Sakura shrugs, old scars on his back pulling at the motion. It's not very convincing, but Sakura doesn't seem like he's trying to be. He slips on the old shirt.

There's a tear from his fight with Endo on the bottom hem. It's stitched—terribly. It looks one wash away from tearing back open.

Sakura thumbs at it, as if holding it in place.

"I don't know."

Kiryu hums, nods. He drops and tries to regather his hair behind his head. It's too hot to just pin it back anymore. It's a shame, he'll miss the look of the clips.

Maybe he can get a sparkly hair tie. He's sure dad will just love that one.

Sakura shuffles behind him. He's clearly done. But he's waiting for Kiryu.

Weird, sentimental ways. Still, he's staring to eye the door, feet facing that way.

"Do you think I should get a bedazzled hair tie for the summer?" Kiryu diverts. Can't have him running just yet, and this is an important question.

Sakura's brows furrow, and he worries a lip at the question. But one foot turns to look at Kiryu, shoulders facing in. He looks not unlike a small child in a very large suit as he inspects Kiryu.

Ha! Kiryu's so good at this. Give him an award already.

"Uh, I dunno. Won't it get caught in your hair?"

A fair, logical point. Rather expected from Sakura. Helpful, though not really what he was asking.

It was mostly a joke suggestion anyway, "Yeah, probably."

Kiryu flinches, yanking at his hair. It won't stay flat. It's a futile effort. As he throws it into a poorly made ponytail, the dark roots make his hair look greasy. A re-bleaching is overdue.

"I mean, you could try a bow. My sister, uh I mean... she liked bows."

Sister.

Kiryu has to force himself not to fling himself around and shout for joy. A sister. Sakura has a sister! And he admitted it naturally! What a lucky day.

Instead, he laughs at the suggestion and pockets away that piece of information. He can surely get a dessert out of Nirei in trade for the information. Maybe even two.

"I'm afraid bows aren't really my style, but thank you for the suggestion."

Sakura shrugs, "Fair 'nuff."

Kiryu smiles and drops his hands. His hair is fine.

Sakura makes way for the door. No, he's not done yet! But it's too late. Sakura's already pushing at the door.

Oh, fuck it. Who cares about appearances: He won't let Sakura weasel out of this so easily.

"So, Endo!"

Sakura's hand grabs at the door. Ready to run. Game on. "Hah?"

Oh, c'mon. Don't play dumb.

"He's quite the interesting guy, huh?" Kiryu laughs awkwardly, shuffles his sleeves on his forearms, and crosses them.

Terrible opening. Blew his engine before he even crossed the start line. Sakura throws the door the rest of the way open.

"Weird as shit, mostly," He's leaving, "I gotta go check in with Suo and Nirei."

Suo is in the bathroom for Christ's sake. Stay, damnit! Stop running. Kiryu follows him as he walks through the door.

"Look, hey, Just be careful, you know? Just like you said, he's weird, so you never know with guys like that, right?"

"I can handle him."

Okay, unhelpful. Not the point at all. But it's too late. He's already scrambling around the corner, waving him off. Kiryu watches him go, debates following and hears a bathroom stall creak echo off the metal.

Ah. The un-gentleman.

Kiryu recedes back into the locker room of failure and cowardice. There, the one-eyed, pleasant-faced, smiley voyeur is adjusting his changshan neatly.

As always, he is a neat, smooth line. His smile is carved onto his face, sanded over smooth. He is the picture of innocence, blinking at Kiryu.

Bastard. Kiryu walks over to him, leaning on the doorway. It's a small alcove where the toilet stalls are, maybe to keep the stench of B.O. separate from the smell of piss.

Suo manages to cover it up with egregious amounts of cheap soap, spreading it all the way up his forearms.

"Kiryu, Hello. How are you feeling about that upcoming exam?"

"Oh, I'm feeling okay about it. How's eavesdropping going? Think you'll pass the class?"

Suo flicks the water from his arms. Some of it lands on the gritty mirror. They make eye contact through it, though it's more of a one-way street. He can't see Suo's expression in the dim lighting. Creepy guy.

"I think I'll do alright. Your concern is appreciated."

Ah, there's the Suo bite.

Here's the thing. For the first month of school, Kiryu wasn't entirely convinced Suo wasn't a complete fucking bastard. He had the makings: A shitty, all-to-casual personality, yet weirdly effective charm. Call it instinct, but Kiryu just felt something off about him.

Then, he realized why.

The dude is a total nutcase. Kiryu watched a movie once, something about a chunk of coal shoved up someone's ass so far it turns to pure diamond from the pressure.

Yeah. Suo.

Like how he doesn't eat. Kiryu's never seen that slimy mouth move except to show off his silver tongue, and unnatural pearly whites.

Like how he watches Nirei and Sakura interact. Pushes them close together when they're apart only to watch as if someone else took his favorite toy.

Like now, as he scrubs his fingers clean, digging under them to make sure the dirt was eradicated.

And always with a smile. A pleasant thing to say.

Well, unfortunately, Kiryu made the mistake of befriending the guy. That's his bad, really.

"You were there when Sakura fought Endo."

"Mhmm?"

"So how bad was it?"

He slides a nail under his thumb, but as far as Kiryu can see it comes out clean. "Sakura handled himself."

Kiryu drops his head into his shoulder. He sighs. Sakura, he has to be gentle with. Suo? He'd be surprised if a jackhammer got through to him.

"Okay, Suo, be honest with me for a second?"

He finally ends his digging under his nails, tossing the paper to the trash. It misses.

"Of course, anything for you Kiryu."

A beat of silence. The tease doesn't land right. Suo finally turns, and pockets his hands behind his back.

Never trust a man who hides his palms, that's something his dad likes to spout when he's feeling especially pretentious. Well, assholes probably get assholes.

Kiryu goes to fish the paper from the ground, but Suo reaches it first, grabbing it out from under his hands.

"You have feelings for somebody."

Suo's eyes wrinkle, the ghostings of a grin, and disposes of the paper, "I have many feelings for many people, you'll have to be more specific."

"Sakura. Or... Nirei?" Kiryu licks his lips, face burning a bit. "I can't really tell which one."

Suo's expression does something weird. Like a wave passes over, a brief and sharp glance of anger. Barely there, blink and you'll miss it.

"Kiryu, I'm sorry, I don't have feelings like that for other guys. Is this some sort of confession? I'm sorry but--"

"Suo, stop."

He presses into his space, trapping him in the corner. Suo doesn't inch backward. The opposite really. He draws up to his full height.

"Stop lying," He continues, shoulders bunching, "Look I don't really care if you lie to yourself, that's your bad choice to make. But--"

You're hurting.

"Sakura, Nirei, whoever. You're gonna start hating them, like letting this stuff all build up. Don't do that to yourself. Or them."

Suo presses further into his space. Pushes past him. Oddly enough, there's barely any weight to it. Kiryu blocks his path with a hand.

"Hey, will you at least pretend you're listening?"

"Kiryu. Don't try and make problems for others because you can't solve yours, yeah?"

This prick.

"Don't be harsh," Kiryu can't help but be sarcastic back. "Not everyone can have as perfect problem-solving skills as you after all. Big kids have to talk about their feelings."

Kiryu stumbles back as two hands sharply shove him back. Then Suo's hands wave to his sides. Not quite a fighting stance, but not vulnerable either.

There. Finally. A reaction. 1 Point, Kiryu.

"I highly recommend," He follows his motion, tracking in closer, "not talking to me about acting childish.

"We can talk about you though. Why do you care so much, huh? Your family name, Kiryu. A businessman right? And your shirt, it can't be cheap, no?"

Kiryu takes a very fucking deep breath. He's being defensive. That means there's something he's protecting.

"So how's Nirei's training going, eh? It must be tough taking on that responsibility."

Who gets pissed off first and breaks? A gentlemen's argument, if you will. Game on.

"I can't imagine what your dad might think of your hair," he reaches up to his hair.

Kiryu grabs it. It's cold, a little clammy. All bones. But doesn't crush. He won't stoop that far.

"I can't imagine what Nirei would think if he realized you wanted Sakura all for yourself."

An educated guess. Fifty-fifty chance.

Suo's tongue wipes over the front of his teeth, and he rips his hand back. Ding ding! Kiryu's the big fat winner.

Suo draws back, and beelines away, wiping his palm against his pantsleeve. In the light of the main locker room, he looks paler.

"What do you want, Kiryu?" His voice cracks, but he hides it, drawing his hands through his hair.

He won't flee. Probably. He's too proud for that. Probably. Kiryu goes to the bench and falls back on it. This is way too much excitement for today.

"I want to know you have somebody to talk to."

Kiryu can hear Suo's breath. He watches the deliberately slow rise and fall of his shoulders, jacket crinkling and falling. It looks a bit big on him.

"So you corner me in a bathroom?"

"You were the one who--" he copies Suo's breathing, "How should I have gone about it, then?"

His hands drop from his hair. Back to behind his back they go, except this time, Kiryu can see them. His hand fiddles with the cuticles of his thumb in a rubbing motion.

"Well..." He starts. It sounds like the beginning of something. Kiryu leans forward.

Suo pinches his palm. Kiryu can see half-moons already there. "I couldn't tell you."

Suo is all sharpness, always. That's consistent in every action, every word, even every breath. He acts with purpose, a quick incision.

Yet his skin marks so quickly. Soft. It's hard to resolve these things. Kiryu isn't smart enough for this.

So, he just hums, "Yeah, me neither."

"I'm going to go check on Sakura."

He should stop him. But his hands are shaking. He wants to throttle him. He wants to scream at him for being stupid. Wants to scream at him for all the shitty things he said.

But mostly, he wants to hide.

Nobody was supposed to know that about him, about his dad. That's his secret. That was mean to bring up.

Suo leaves.

They both lose.

Okay, fine. Suo doesn't want him meddling in his business? Fine. Perfectly okay. Kiryu will stay out of it.

Sakura is equivalent to a very skilled, scared street cat, escaping every conversation Kiryu tries to rope him into? That's fine too.

They're forgetting one crucial detail.

"Wait, really? Oh my god, Kiryu, thank you."

Sweet, kind, eager Nirei. Sweet, information hog Nirei.

Not only did Kiryu snag him for patrol, but he convinced the boy to grab coffee with him afterward. Just to chat.

He cradles a mug in his hands--black. Which Kiryu really wouldn't have expected. It's long since past steaming, though, sitting dully. Nirei's finger taps against it.

"I was surprised when he told me," Kiryu adds, pulling his hair out of it'=s bind.

"Yeah. I can't believe it, he doesn't seem like the sister type," His finger keeps twitching. Probably for his notebook, now that Kiryu thinks about it.

"Yeah, I figured you'd wanna know, after all," the finger stops, they share a heavy look, "you're his vice-captain."

"Ah, right."

Kiryu swirls the green matcha in his cup. The ice clinks. It's a cute little cafe, holed off in some corner of the town where shopping is good and service is terrible. A small group of girls are in the booth behind him--loud, with bright, cute voices.

Nirei hunches further when they break out into a group laugh. He's fidgety, thumbing over the menu before wiping the condensation off the plasticy table they claimed.

"Do you have a sister?" Kiryu presses.

He shakes his head and sweeps at a crumb. They shared a blueberry muffin. It really wasn't that good. Kiryu was overjoyed to put it on his father's card.

"You do, right?"

Kiryu pulls at a lock of hair and feels the split ends twist under his fingers, "Wow, I'm impressed. Both of you Vice Captains know so much!"

His eyes widen, "O--Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pry! It's just I assumed... you have all this hair care stuff so I dunno."

It's not an unfair assumption, yet Kiryu bites his tongue nonetheless. But then Nirei stops his fidgeting to give these big, fat marble eyes of concern it's hard to stay mad.

"It's okay, I'm just impressed. A little intimidated."

"Oh. I'm sorry about that. Did, uh," He clears his throat, takes a sip of the coffee, and winces at the bitterness, "Did Suo ask you about your sister?"

"Something like that."

The conversation goes dry. Well, Kiryu is bad at beating around the bush anyway. He pushes the drink to the side. The only thing between them was the coffee mug and Nirei's elbows. Kiryu leans in.

"So, Nirei?"

A blink of recognition.

"How do you want to handle Endo?"

A blink of unrecognition.

Then, his eyes blow wide. His tapping stops to fully grab the mug. He doesn't look shocked, though. Or confused.

He looks relieved.

"Oh, I mean, well it's Sakura's decision..."

Kiryu knows it's a useless platitude because his face is already shifting into the expression he wears when he's going through his notes. His cup is pushed to the side with his knuckle.

"But I am worried. I mean, you didn't see," Nails scrape plastic, "just what he did to Sakura."

He saw the aftermath. He watched Suo patch him up under moonlight. And he watched how normal it was for him, too. He won't protect himself. He doesn't know how.

"I was thinking," Nirei continues, bites his lip, and scratches his hairline. There are scratchmarks there Kiryu's never seen before, hidden under his bangs. Clearly, he's been thinking a lot.

"Yeah?"

"No, it's a bad idea."

Kiryu smiles and gets comfortable. "I bet mine's worse."

Suo catches the foot before it can lodge between Sakura's shoulder blades and promptly flips the attacker over onto their head.

It's their dance.

Sakura pushes forward and Suo steps back to cover his growing blind spot. Sakura lands three blows and almost gets punched and Suo catches it, and blocks it for him.

It's like that old riddle. The ultimate sword. The unbreakable shield. When the sword strikes the shield, what happens? 

But then again, who cares which one is strongest when one soldier wields them both? They are unstoppable.

(They strike. They both get stronger for it. Nirei knows. He's seen it happen.)

Nirei sits off to the side. Keeps reckless kids from stepping too close to the excitement. Tells everyone with a pleasant face, "It'll be okay. They'll handle it all."

Nirei watches.

But he already knows what's going to happen. When Suo takes a forward action toward the guy twice his size, Sakura will look over his shoulder and call out—

"Ya' got it?"

And Suo twists behind him and kicks him straight to Sakura. And Sakura grins like Suo just spat some dirty joke and punches him in the gut.

And then, Suo will say—

"Very impressive, Grade Captain!"

Sakura scowls and doesn't mean it, and they go on.

The fight ends quickly. Purses are returned. Nirei waits. Watches.Then, Sakura heaves out a heavy breath while Suo is unaffected, face a neat cream color. Maybe a bead of sweat trails down the back of his neck, but Sakura doesn't see it. Never does.

But Nirei does.

His gut twists.

Too many things connect as Suo drops his hands, so tightly clasped behind him, to offer to Sakura. he takes it.

And Sakura looks over, to check on Nirei after the fight. And where does Suo look?

Sakura, an invisible string tying his eyes.

It will always be Sakura, Nirei knows.

He watches.

He sees.

Goddamnit, He knows.

His chest is fizzling with this realization he doesn't name as the two finally walk over, passing by the bruised egos of the boys they fought.

"I'm up on you by about six guys."

"Ah, but if I recall I have twelve saves over you."

"No, no fuck you, you do not," Sakura shoves his shoulder, "You had four yesterday... and, uh, I had three and a half."

Suo snikers, but there isn't humor in his eyes. Through his dense black lashes, he looks hungry. "Ah, how could I forget the half."

Sakura gets unreasonably angry. This is a script Nirei knows well. But not in this tone, not in this voice.

Because...

Because Suo is...

"Nirei, you good?" Sakura startles him.

No. Not now. He can't admit it yet.

"Oh, uh— of course. Why wouldn't I be?" He hides the way he picks at his hangnails behind his back. A trick he learned recently.

From Suo—Who now finally broken his trace to notice Nirei. His gaze burns.

"Are you getting sun-sick?" He asks.

Nirei shakes his head, "No, I think I'm just tired," As if he did anything to warrant being tired.

"Oh... okay," Sakura says, in the exact tone of voice to show he doesn't believe it. He's worried.

Even now, as selfish as it is, his undivided worry feels good. His stomach twists. He excuses himself from patrol early, feeling a tiny bit worthless for it.

.

.

.

Suo is in love with Sakura.

He admits it to himself as soon as he's locked behind the safety of his bedroom doors. He tells himself it in the mirror. Fuck, he writes it down in Suo's little bio card in his notebook.

Suo is in love with Sakura, in deliberate, neat lines. Perfectly clean. He traces it twice, thrice, too many until it breaks through the paper. Great.

It lands somewhere across his room to the sound of paper scattering. His foot hits his bedframe, but the pain doesn't register.

How could he not see it?

He kicks off his shoes, though it's useless at this point. There's mud tracking his path all the way from the front door.

No, he did see it. It was obvious. The glances, the deferential treatment, the hunger. The hunger was always there—so obvious. Nirei is so stupid! He calls himself Suo's friend and can't even put these things together.

He doesn't know what to do with himself, so he just sits down on his bed and stares out the window. It's still bright out, but Nirei feels the deep urge to crawl into bed and never come back out.

So, well, he does that.

He feels sick.

It's not fair. It's a childish, useless platitude, but he can't help himself. It's not fair at all. Because Nirei will never have a fucking chance, and honestly, he doesn't want one.

Not if it's Suo.

Except that's a complete lie. He can't even delude himself with the guilt that pairs with it.

Because if Sakura showed up on his doorstep tomorrow and told Nirei he was in love with him, he wouldn't hesitate to kiss him. To take him.

But Suo?

Take the win, he had said.

Suo had already given Sakura up. Suo hadn't even tried. And for what? Why not? Was Sakura not worth it? No. Was Nirei just too fucking pathetic with his feelings to try?

Who knows! Maybe Suo's already married and has 2.5 kids and a dog. It's possible. Not like Nirei knows anything about him at this point.

He curls deeper under the sheets. It's hot, but the cramped, stifling air somehow feels right. He's sweating through his day clothes, sweltering. It's not enough.

His heart jackhammers. An uneven drumming in his chest. His fingers tighten until the blood restricts, going white as his sheets.

Suo didn't even fucking try.

Nirei breathes heavier, the undercover of his sheets steaming hotter and hotter. Still, it's not enough.

Suo didn't even care enough to tell him.

As if it didn't matter.

Nirei knows he's crazy for it, and knows it's stupid, but he doesn't care as he bites into the fabric of his shirt. He's so angry and there's nothing he can do with the feeling. Nirei doesn't scream. He doesn't break things.

The fabric is rough under his teeth and tongue. Grating.

Then, he bites deeper and reaches the meat of his arm.

He's so selfish. It's this icy-hot realization that keeps him stuck. He's selfish. And Suo let him be; encouraged it.

It's unfair, he thinks again, then thumps a hand uselessly against his mattress. Suo would never think like that. Suo is better than that.

But under it all, there's something more that makes his eyes sting. Makes stupid fat tears well up in his eyes and soak the shoulder of his shirt.

It's not jealousy, he knows that. Falling for Sakura: it's too easy to do. Because sometimes you just meet people like that—People you can't help but fall for.

His teeth sink deeper, and he freezes when he feels a tendon bend under his teeth. He lets go. Anger pools and he tries to hold onto it, but it's already slipping, melting into grief.

At the heart of it, only one thing matters.

Suo didn't trust Nirei enough to tell him.

Do you not talk about your crushes with friends? He had said.

If he could keep this secret for so long, almost seamlessly, what other feelings could he be keeping tucked away.

Does Suo...even like Nirei? Or is it just a front, to make Sakura happy?

Are they even friends?

.

.

.

When Nirei finally drags out of bed, there are two bitemarks along his arm. One just along a tendon, purple and bruising. The other, bleeding.

.

.

.

It takes Nirei twenty-six hours to make a very simple decision:

They're friends.

Yes. Yes, they fucking are. Because Suo has taught him how to fight and protected him when he couldn't. Because they've shared titles and time and apparently, feelings for the same person. So he doesn't really care what Suo thinks.

It takes Nirei five seconds to make a very important decision.

Suo betrayed their friendship. Held all the cards and made all the decisions about what was going to happen between them without ever asking Nirei his feelings. He's beyond mad.

With these two realizations, he takes a very simple, very important action:

[>suo wanna train a bit tomorrow?]

The response is almost instant.

[Sounds like a plan. I'll be over at 11?<]

[>awesome]

.

.

.

Sunday Church.

As far as Sakura was concerned, people didn't really do that, at least in Japan. Sure, he went to elementary with this one Russian kid who was Christian, had a cross, and all that. But that was about it. He learned a 'Jesus' dude and something about a 'Mary'.

It's just not something Sakura has ever considered.

Well, he's meeting Endo after Church.

Apparently, there's one in his town, just off the course of a rundown grocery store. A few left turns, one right one, and you're at the wooden white gates of salvation. All things considered, salvation really isn't all it's cracked up to be.

The front is some old relic, like something he'd see in some horror movie. Vines down the east wall and paint cracking down the sides in great, peeling strips.

It took him a train ride and a half-hour walk to get there, and for what? Now he's stuck sitting like a preschooler outside the church steps, hearing the preacher's voice call through the rotted doors. He's digging his foot into the dirt, making small smiles across the pavement. Yeah, no wonder he feels like a kid.

Right now, they're singing.

"—fill the world with love—"

Sakura shoves his heel into a particularly offensive blade of grass. It stains his heel.

"—And give to all what you've received—"

It stains the cement. A green snot to add to the smiley he's crafted.

"—the peace of love and Christ."

Sakura really doesn't get the big deal. But more than anything, he really doesn't understand why Endo goes.

Really, as far as peace and love or whatever goes, he seems to be the opposite of that. The dude's walking crazy. Honestly, why's he even here? It's doubtful he'd even do anything to the school at this point. That whoever guy he had googly eyes for seemed done with Furin.

"Sakura! You came!"

Well, no point thinking about it now.

He grumbles half turns to where a pair of beaten down sneakers are, a foot from his hip. His pantlegs sag over them, torn naturally on the bottom from wear.

He has a wife beater and a flannel over his shoulders, which is fucking crazy for the weather.

Only two other people fan out behind him, both looking moments away from shriveling to dust. Sakura has the urge to walk them to their car of some shit.

"I said I would."

Endo shrugs and walks all the way down the steps to look at Sakura's art piece.

"I mean, Chiika bails on me sometimes. But I guess you're not much like him."

"Not at all," he doesn't bother hiding the revultion in his voice.

Endo gives a hand down for Sakura to take. He ignores it, pushing up from the sidewalk, and Endo takes the rejection almost too gracefully, dropping his palm into his pocket to check his phone.

He types something out while Sakura stares, waiting for the growing silence to magically disappear. He scrapes out the dirt with his toe.

"I didn't figure you were, uh, the church type," Sakura scratches his neck, looking inside the open doors.

There's a set of rows leading to the front steps, a pedestal at the front. Behind it all, it's washed in blues, yellows, and reds from the stained glass. It's a woman with a blue and white veil on her head. A sheep behind her.

"Ah, I'm not."

"Haah?"

He shrugs and pockets his phone, "My parents like it when I go."

"What, do you still live with em' or somethin'?" Sakura forgets it's normal to live with your parents after the words slip from his tongue. Still, he can't imagine a guy like Endo still living under someone else's rules.

"Nah—So, where do you wanna go? I'm so happy I get to see you again!"

"Uh, sure."

"..."

Sakura shuffles.

"So, what do you wanna do then?"

"I dunno, I don't live here. This was yer idea anyway."

Endo quirks his lips. His posture leans back, but it doesn't feel casual. No, he adjusts his jacket, checks his shoes, readjusts his watch, and fixes his hair. There's a redness to his cheeks.

Sakura would figure due to the heat but, no, he's not even sweating. The air from the church is blowing cool air.

He's... self-conscious?

"Oh! How about food, you like good food right? Summer's just started so all the food stalls on the main street are opening up."

No, that can't be right. He's way too comfortable. And yet, Sakura can't shake the feeling that he's looking at some funhouse mirror. The image isn't quite right.

"Sure. Whatever ya' want."

His image waves, like someone pressing on cheap reflective film. It looks like reverence. His eye contact breaks.

"O-Oh! Awesome. Cool," Then, it's gone behind a stretched smile, "Ahh, you're so considerate! I'm so lucky."

Sakura cracks a knuckle with his thumb absently.

Ah, that's why he came.  He wants to know just what is lurking under his surface. What is he really thinking?

(How does he hide it so well?)

The Takoyaki stand is okay.

Ever since moving to Furin food has tasted amazing. Everything in Makochi just has a certain flavor to it that has caused him to gain a not-insignificant amount of weight.

But meh. It's alright.

"This is just what I needed," Endo says, popping the stick into the trash as they walk down the street.

It's busy, people bustling around them. Just in time for summer break. It forces the two of them to walk closer together and Endo wastes no time pulling him closer when a stranger gets too close.

Sakura keeps subtly trying to put the space back.

"So uh, what now?" He asks.

Endo shrugs his jacket further down his arms. His shoulders look pink from the sun but he doesn't seem to notice. Or care.

"Any place we go to would be crowded--Damn tourists."

"Meh, that's fine. I don't care."

Endo looks around the crowd. There are a lot of families, happy and sweetly laughing. A few couples, glowing and comfortable. Sakura feels very out of place.

Endo claps his hands. "Oh, Ha! How about this."

He rounds back on Sakura, with a disarming smile, "Do you like stars?"

Sakura freezes.

Sakura isn't supposed to like stars. Or stupid, girly stuff like that. It's too romantic. And stupid. So no, he doesn't.

"Well, sure."

Endo's face lights up, eyes going wide and glittery. "Really! Oh, this is perfect. Right this way, Sakura."

Endo grabs his sleeve and tugs him through to crowd the asshole. But he's too busy reeling from the confession he just made to give a shit.

Why? Why tell Endo?

Why admit something so stupid and embarrassing to a near stranger.

He doesn't put the dots together until Endo's feet stop right in front of a decently big, domed building.

A planetarium.

Endo chuckles, looking over to Sakura. He looks all too pleased with himself, resetting his jacket back to his shoulders and messing with the zipper.

Oh. That's why.

Sakura wanted somebody to know.

And what does it matter if Endo thought it was embarrassing? He's just a stranger. 

Sakura squashes at the light feeling in his chest. If he's not careful, he could land himself in some deep shit by lowering his guard.

"It's closed," He points to their hours. "Won't be open for another-- What the fuck--"

Endo goes around the front entrace to a gate, locked by a chain and lock, and jumps on it. It looks very uninviting to random teenagers.

"Fuck are you--"

"Oh c'mon, where's your spirit? I know some of the guys here anyway, they owe me a favor."

Bullshit, Sakura thinks.

Endo rolls his eyes and swings over the fence as it makes a metalic rattling against the support bars. He doesn't even seem to care what Sakura thinks, pushing further to the side of the building.

Sakura is left with a decision.

He's never been to a planetarium.

He jumps the fence.

.

.

.

It's cool as fuck.

Sakura doesn't want to know what kind of favors the people here owe him, but they look beyond mortified at the pair of them as he pushes his way in through a backroom and glares them down.

The interior is almost all black, the room they're shown rows of curved seats all facing the front of the room.

Endo picks a spot in the middle and Sakura, once again, has no choice but to follow. The staff keep giving him weird looks and he doesn't want to be anywhere near them if he can help it.

"It's been a while," Endo muses.

Sakura hums.

Their makeshift show starts.

Sakura has to burrow his nails into his knee to keep himself from gaping at the sight. It's so bright. Thousands of big and tiny white dots roll across the screen in slow motion. This is what the night sky is supposed to look like, from what he's read at least.

He has never hated electricity more.

But.

Next to him, Endo isn't watching the stars.

He's watching him.

Goosebumps run down his spine. It's probably supposed to be romantic or whatever, but it makes him feel more like an animal in a zoo.

He tries to ignore it.

A few constellations he can even recognize. The big dipper he just barely locates before the screen changes.

"Ah, the summer triangle," Endo says.

"Whuh? Where?"

Endo leans in, arm going up to point a little below the center of the dome ceiling. His whisper is almost directly in Sakura's ear, coming out warm, "There. See it?"

Sakura doesn't.

"Oh, yeah. Cool."

Sakura shifts in his seat, just to give a little bit of space. But he feels more and more uncomfortable as the time goes on. It's disgustingly romantic, just the two of them.

And Endo keeps staring.

Sakura grits his teeth, "Hey, I gotta question."

"Oh?"

"You-- You said you fell for me--" His ears burn as he says it, but Endo just hums casually, the bastard, "But you already-- you already got feelins for that other guy. Aren't you like cheatin' on him then?"

"Ha! I wish--"

"Huh?"

Endo rubs his palms together, the sound loud in the otherwise quiet room. It echoes around them over and over. It's a bit too empty, honestly.

"We aren't dating. He doesn't want that."

"...and you do," It's more of a statement than anything else.

"Yeah."

It's way too fucking quiet. Sakura rubs over the soreness on his knees from how tight he's been holding them, feeling the kneecap shift back into place. When he swallows, the whole damn room can hear it.

Endo stops his staring, going to check his phone. This time, it's Sakura's attention that's pulled from the show. In the darkness of the room, it's easy to see his screen. It bleaches out the soft blue on his skin from the light show.

It's a long string of his texts, all with either one-word responses or just getting completely ignored. Sakura's stomach twists.

It feels just like watching Togame fight Choji, except maybe worse. At least Choiji meets him halfway.

Sakura jolts out of his chair. Endo doesn't quite notice.

"Let's get outta here."

"Oh, sure. Did'ya not like it?"

Endo clicks his phone off. But doesn't pocket it, holding it carefully as he stands.

"Naw it was cool, but I know what I wanna do know."

He raises his eyebrows, "Hit me with it. I can make it happen."

Sakura cracks a knuckle, "Let's spar."

Above them, the screen changes. Mars. The both of them are bathed in the red glow of the planet. Endo's cheeks burn a bright red, swelling as he smiles.

.

.

.

Suo shows up five minutes early in a disgustingly normal fashion. When Nirei opens the door, he gives a polite nod. A polite greeting. A polite smile. Nirei lets him.

Lets him coo at Chuck and ask how his weekend is going. Let's Suo crack a smile and hum at all the socially perfect spots.

It's like a magic trick.

As soon as you understand how it works, you can see the cracks much more easily. Nirei must be a masochist because he keeps digging for them--The places his smile falters and breaks sentences off a bit too quickly.

Chuck laps at Suo's hands.

"With Sakura on his date today, I thought I should take my mind off things." Nirei laughs and shrugs, "So thanks—for coming over."

A tremor in his hands, followed by the cleanest, smoothest, ocean-worn smile. Like mountains that have been reduced to pebbles. Great coral reefs whittled to Petoski's.

Greatness to inconspicuous.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even think about that. Are you doing okay with it all? Friday you seemed unwell."

Nirei shrugs, grabs his jacket from the hooks, and has to look away, "Ah, you know how it is. It's fine."

He does. He knows better than he lets on.

Suo doesn't notice the barb. Or maybe he does. Who knows? He pushes out the door, knowing full well he's acting weird.

Good. Suo should know how he feels. He should sit with it a bit. Suo stands to follow him. They're quiet as they leave. His mom shouts out a belated goodbye that Suo responds for the both of them.

He squares his shoulders and prepares himself. The plan is simple. He's going to fight Suo, just like Sakura might. See if that might trigger something. Give Nirei an opening to confront him about his feelings.

Obviously, his skill will be nowhere near Sakura's. But if he can just, for a second, fool Suo? Maybe it'll explain something.

He takes a steadying breath. He can't waver on this. He can't let Suo get away with this. And he can't fuck it up.

"So, what do you feel like working on today?" Suo asks.

Nirei departs from the steps, continuing his one-way path to the grassy back of the apartment building. "I want to spar."

Suo stops. "Oh. Really now? You feel ready for that?"

He rounds on Suo. "I don't really care if I am."

It's another truth he's not going to spare from Suo. If he can't have the truth from the guy, well then Suo will have to deal with the full truth from Nirei.

"I don't like just watching you two from the sidewalk. I want to be a part of the fight, too."

Read into it, Nirei begs. See what he's really saying. Face it.

Suo blinks. Doesn't fold. If anything, he looks sterner, faces going stony and terse. He drops the smile. Thank god.

"Nirei, you understand just how well you've been doing right? Have I not been praising you enough? You're doing well."

Nirei bites into his tongue. Drags it under the blunt edge of his molars. Worms into his gums until they bleed.

"I just wanna try. Please?"

Suo huffs. "Do you understand how well you've improved?"

Stop being kind. Stop comforting him. Stop it. He doesn't want this. Pity, or self-sacrifice, whatever this is. Suo can shove it.

Nirei isn't some self-aggrandizing jerk. He can't be. Caring is what he prides himself on. Without it? There's nothing Nirei has to be proud of, really.

"Sure."

"There's no need to rush then. You trust me, right?"

No. God no.

"Suo, if I've been doing so well, then indulge me. C'mon," He pleads a little, and it comes out whiny where he wants it stern. "If— How about you don't fight back. Don't punch back, I mean. Just dodge. See if I can hit you."

The grin Suo cracks is almost cruel. "Right."

"Please."

"Well, okay then. You've twisted my arm. How can I deny my hardworking student?"

He peels the ballcap from his head and tosses it to the floor. It lands delicately. He returns his hands behind him. He tilts his head, deceivingly delicate earrings grazing his shoulder. "Hit me."

Nirei lunges.

He knows who he's copying as he moves, and can see the movement so clearly in his mind. A straight right jab, lacking all concern for a counter.

Sakura's movements.

Maybe then, if he can make Suo look at Nirei and see Sakura, Nirei can make sure. Confirm what he's already convinced of.

Suo ducks under and goes around to Nirei's back.

"So bold! Watch your footing, you stepped a bit too wide."

Nirei follows his movement and hooks with his left, which he slips under easily. Nirei steps closer for another straight jab but misses. Suo has the audacity to do a full spin while stepping out of the way.

What would Sakura do?

How would he push Suo?

Nirei scowls, the feeling like stretching plastic, "You're too slippery."

Suo laughs. "Slippery?"

Nirei hides the weird turn of phrase with an attempt at a kick. It forces Suo to drop fully—his refined version of the pillbug move.

If he were attacking back, Nirei would be swept onto the floor. Lucky him, then. He twists and tries to swing the back of his ankle into Suo's chest in a backkick, but Suo rolls to avoid it.

"You would've gotten—"

"I know."

He runs toward Suo to close the distance, but he's too eager. Suo barely skirts around him, back to Nirei's blind spot, leaving him momentarily lost.

A featherlight tap on the back of his neck sends goosebumps down his spine.

"And that's a headlock. Or a knockout."

Nirei whips back again, and tries to grab the ghostings of a hand. He wraps around too-slim fingers that slip from his grasp.

Suo is smiling. With his teeth. Eyes crinkled.

Is he... having fun?

Only now does Nirei notice, one of them is crooked. A too big space in his teeth. He doesn't have the time to care about it though.

Because it's working. That's a look Suo usually means for Sakura. Always accidental. But always for him. His stomach lurches, then twists.

His next swing is laughable.

Nirei changes tactics.

He closes in and doesn't allow Suo to make space. Step after step. Short, quick jabs while keeping his elbows closed in and controlled. The effort makes his heart pound.

But it works. Suo let's him push him back.

Then, by pure accident, Nirei makes a great move. He closes in enough that Suo's back hits the wall. He plants a hand on Suo's shoulder, another closing him off against the wall.

Trapped.

Nirei got him.

His plans, the anger, the accusations, and the truths he had—all of it disappears in a short burst. Because he did it. He beat Suo back. He won.

It's the relief that does him in. He laughs, ugly and loud. Washes him clean. But then he makes the mistake of opening his eyes.

His eyebrows are wilting, eyes wide. His lips frown into deep caverns. He's concerned.

"Nirei—"

His voice is so soft. It's unfair.

"Suo," His laughter warbles. It's funny, how similar laughter and crying can sound. "Why didn't—" His breath hitches, catches like rusty gears, "Why didn't you tell me?"

This was supposed to be stone cold. A 'Why didn't you tell me?' said easily, in a smooth and rhythmic pattern. He was supposed to control himself. To be angry.

And he is angry. But his teeth chatter his hand digs into Suo's shoulder, and his throat hiccups against his will.

He's fucking it up.

He cares too much. Nirei's not strong enough for this. Not controlled. Ineloquent. Suo's hand grabs at his wrist, and tugs gently. Nirei doesn't let him go.

"Nirei, what's going on? Hey, this is about Sakura, right? It's okay, Nirei, hey, look at me—"

"Suo!"

Suo startles. Drops his hand. His lips crinkle. "What's going on Nirei? I can't help if I don't know what's going on."

No shit, Suo.

"Suo—" He gasps. Damnit! He can't stop. "I just... you lied to me?"

Suo tries to draw back, but his head hits the wall. Trapped.

"What did I lie about?"

He snivels. He knows he's not making sense. He was hoping Suo would just know. He bites at his cheek. "I'm not the only one in love with Sakura."

No. That's not it.

"You— you're in love with him."

A pause. A fly buzzes by Suo's ear. He doesn't notice.

Suo's face does something new. It crumbles. Like burnt charcoal, it just dissipates. No longer anything like what it once was. Unsalvageable. Unrepairable.

No more masks.

Suo--the smart, smooth-talking boy--doesn't say anything.

Good. Finally.

Nirei forces himself to keep his mouth shut. He has more to say, way too much to say, but he's a bit desperate for Suo's response. 

His back scrapes the brick behind them, dropping slightly. Suo doesn't seem to know what to do. Maybe he doesn't. Isn't that novel?

Well, Nirei doesn't know what to do either. So he cries. His lips move for him. The words crawl out.

"You love him! And you just, you just let it go. And you still— you pushed me towards him. I don't get it. I don't get you.

"And you won't let me," He snivels, dropping Suo's shirt to wipe his nose, "You're always telling Skaura he can open up to us. That he can— he can trust us! You're a hypocrite."

He thumps a fist into Suo's chest.

It's not some dark, late-night fight. The sun is blaring on them, hot and exposed. Bugs sing, and buzz at his ear. Distract. At any moment, anyone could walk over to them.

He feels, in an instant, ridiculous. He's crying over some stupid lie, a shitty teenage situation in broad daylight. Then, Suo speaks, and everything dissolves once again.

"I don't understand."

Nirei frowns.

"You're my friend. Friends share their crushes, right? You said that."

Suo breaths. Unsteady. Uneven. Unlike him.

"I feel like some project to you. You don't treat me like a friend. You won't let me be," Nirei continues.

Suo's lip wrinkles. Goes white.

"It makes me feel stupid," Nirei's voice breaks again because he's apparently incapable of holding himself together. It's a frustration he'll have to deal with later. "Look, I don't care you have feelings for him, okay? If that's what you were worried about.

"I mean," a wet laugh, "It's Sakura. I can't blame you."

Suo still doesn't respond. It's like he's stopped working, a computer asked to do something not in its programming. Using a muscle you've never even known you have.

Nirei lets go of Suo. Peels back.

Suo's breath picks up. It's this great, delayed reaction. Like he shockwave after an explosion. He doesn't cry but his body shakes with tears anyways, breath ragged.

"You know."

He brings up a hand to his mouth like he's sick. Maybe he is.

Nirei watches in real time Suo try to pull up a defense. He looks away, eyes looking everywhere in quick blinks.

"You— you know..." His voice is wrecked.

There's no defense he can hide behind. Oh. Nirei realizes way too late. Suo doesn't have anything else to lean back on.

The honesty on his face is raw. He can't hide it. His hand digs into the skin there, a last defense. He is jagged edges. Mincemeat.

Suo stumbles, putting all his weight against the wall behind him. His eyes are wide, the sclera eating away at his pupils.

Oh.

He genuinely doesn't know what to do.

Nirei could swear gravity falters for a second.

Nirei's heart skips a beat. His shoulders drop from where they've ridden up to his shoulders. He wants to crowd back in. Catch Suo when gravity returns.

Suo's scared.

Nirei's blood chills.

Nirei fucked up.

.

.

.