Chapter 1: Her heart aches, his head hurts.
Summary:
“I imagine death so much it’s like a memory.”
- Yorktown (the world turns upside down)
Chapter Text
The pogues see death so much it’s like a memory . A black cloud always threatening to draw them in. Fighting the cloud isn’t possible though, so instead Kiara sits with her toes in the sand with hands gripping scraped knees so hard they’re red marks forming beneath her fingers.
They’ve been on Poguelandia for almost a full day, the second sunset awaiting it’s cue, yet she’s still sitting here like maybe they’ll end up somewhere else. She isn’t sure where but maybe a place far from the sea, away from the knives and machetes. It all repeats itself again — the last 48 hours. Every wound, every scream, every quiet. Why was JJ so quiet? His body numb, pulse still. Pulses aren’t meant to be freeze, no. She’s certain they aren’t. Tears threaten to follow their stains once more, tracing the round of her cheeks and pink of her eyes. Why was JJ so…dead? Is he okay? Fuck.
He’s been watching her, they all have. Knees to her chest, thoughts building mountains no one can climb. “You’ve gotta talk to her.” John B nods towards Kiara’s shrunken body, watching as a shiver twists her spine. “Why me? I’m not good with words or feelings. Sarah would do a better job!” JJ shook his head, his palm threading through the back of his hair. “For god sake even Cleo would do better and we’ve only known her three days.” A frown pulled his best friend’s lips, one that said ‘you know why’. “Do it before she becomes one with the sand.” He jokes but it doesn’t reach his voice nor his face. “M’kay.” JJ gives in, his feet padding down the slope of sand and towards the locks of brown hair that have took to the wind.
She didn’t flinch at his footsteps, she knew who was who by the way they walked. That’s what happens when you’re attached to the hip with four teens. Maybe even five now. “You okay Miss C?” He asks, digging his butt into the sand.
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t really believable since her eyes didn’t meet his, he wishes they did, but instead they continue to glue to the blood beginning to dry on his head. “Does it still hurt?” Her voice soft over the crashing sea, like a spread of butter. “Nah.” JJ fumbles. “Maybe a little.” Finally their eyes meet. That door’s closed, JJ. But is it truly? Because she looks at him like that. Her fingers hover around the wound, eyes asking without a word. He nods.
Carefully she pulls his hair back, growing the throb in his skull despite the gentle touch. “It’s not too deep but it probably needs cleaning.”
“Later though.” He pulls back a little too fast, the dizziness re-emerging. “Slow down sonic.” The joke makes him relax a little. It meant their Kiara is still in there. “C’mon dinners roasted berries.” He smiles, standing up a little slower than usual. Before he can move her hands gripping his wrist. “Wait.” He does.
“Kie?” JJ asks, an odd smile still lingering.
Suddenly she’s up too, but not beside him. No, she’s fully sunk into his chest with fresh tears pressing into his t-shirt. “You’re alive.” Kiara whispers. “Yeah, I’m alive. We are all here Kie. It’s okay. We made it.” For a while he continues to whisper comforting trails of reassurance, only stopping when her hand slips to his palm and they begin to move back towards the group.
Sarahs eyes are red, a painful shade that can only hold tears. Kiara thinks about how hers must be the same, how she was so selfish to let the drops of salty water escape her. Because really, what has she lost? Sarah has lost everything and here she was crying about imaginary outcomes. “Hey Kie.” John B’s the first to break the quiet but Pope soon gives her a curt nod. They sit around a makeshift fire, with their hands hovering above the flames. Kiara does the same, making sure JJ is still by her side even if their hands aren’t interlinked anymore. “I saw coconuts back there.” Cleo says, her knife carving squiggles into a sharp piece of log. “Climbable?” Pope asks, his eyes clearly starry at the new addition. “I can do it!” She winces at the volunteer, of course JJ volunteers.
“You have a concussion.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I mean we kinda do.” The squabbling continues, constant bicker and the crackle of the fire overtaking. Finally Kiara speaks, “Jayj, give it a rest.” Blue eyes stare at her for a second, but they don’t linger the way she wishes they did. “Fine.” He sighs.
By the time they finish dinner he’s in the tree anyway. No one was surprised but they were all concerned. Even Sarah had broken her stunned silence. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” The blonde girl yelled towards him. “It’s stupid.” Pope shakes his head, his eyes squinting. “What do I say, Pope?”
“Stupid things—“ John be begins but Kiara finishes “,get you killed.” Immediately her friends give her a look, she can’t tell if it’s a ‘ cut it out’ kinda moment or a ‘ you’re going insane ’ one. Either way guilt twangs in her chest. Sarah moves to her side, a hand pressing into the peep of skin on her back. “One coconut, then out!” She yells, Kiara is fully aware it’s for her sake.
Luckily he obliges and soon enough the ground hits his feet. “So who’s got dibs?” He smiles, blissfully unaware of the other’s scolding stares. “I’ll crack it open, rude boy.” Cleo grins, catching the coconut and moving to their camp. Sarah watches as John b shuffles between the two, trying to decide his next move. “Hey Jayj, can you help me gather some more wood?” He decides. “Sure.”
“I’ll help.” Pope throws his arms around both the boys shoulders before they stride off.
“Hey Kie?” Sarah asks, as they walk towards the third girl. “Yeah?”
“Bet you can’t smash the coconut before Cleo!” She giggles, kicking her way through the sand. The girl chases her with no hesitation.
Meanwhile the boys are gaining new splinters, in two different ways. “We have tons of sticks from yesterday why do we even need more?” JJ whines, his eyes bright in the lowering sun. “We don’t.” Pope says, blunt as always. A blonde eyebrow raises in his direction but John B is the one to answer. “You’re being an idiot.” This got the boy to stop in his tracks, his hands raising in mockery. “Like you can say anything.” Snaps JJ.
“Just listen.” Pope butts in.
“What sort of personal attack is this?”
“JJ.” John B growls.
“Fine, Fine. What?” They were sitting now, perching on a sleek rock by some peeling trees. “Have you paid any attention to Kiara lately?”
“Bro, is this another love accusation? I told you, that door is closed.” The Routledge boy coughed while Pope let out a frustrated sigh. “First of all, it definitely isn’t closed.”His hair ran through his brown hair, he didn’t see Pope’s twitch. “Second if you fucking listened you’d know it wasn’t.” JJ’s face softened. “Okay, sorry.” He nodded. “So what is it?”
Chapter 2: From sight to noise
Summary:
“Alright, I’m bad, but then that’s nothing new.”
- The balled of Lucy Gray Baird
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“She’s worried about you.” JJ scoffs, but John b doesn’t stop. “Look man, we know you like to storm head first into everything, but your head is still bloody.” His finger points the wound.
“ Alright .” JJ’s jaw tightens. “ I’m bad, but that ain’t new.”
“No but Kiara, anxious? That’s, that’s new.”
Pope grumbles. “The last time she got all ‘off’ was her kook year.”
“Just take it easy for at least a day, yeah?” John b’s eyes meet his and for a second there’s a promise made between the three of them. A promise no one else would understand.
When they make it back to the girls the wood mounts on top of the rest, making it very obvious they didn’t need anymore. “We’ve got fires for days!” Cleo cheers, grabbing the driest slabs and beginning to create sparks.
Orangey tones begin to fade into black, announcing the days demise. “Well we’ve officially got one shelter; two meals worth of berries and a shit ton of firewood.” John B smiles, his hand looping round Sarah’s waist. “So who gets the master suite?”
“Race you for it?” JJ smirks.
“I’m in.” Kiara jumps at the chance, her
voice lighter than before.
“Referee?” He turns to John b, receiving a salute.
Sarah takes great pride in crossing lines into the sand with her fingertips resulting in a faint race line. The competing duo both dig their toes behind it, knees bending and eyebrows arched.
“Ready!” Someone yells.
“Set.”
“Don’t go easy on me.” Kiara whispers, her breath warm against the cool nights air. “Never.” He replies, eyes remaining on the finish line ahead.
“Go!”
Everyone knows JJ’s a shitty liar so he keeps his promise, barrelling down the bank faster than his brain can comprehend. In seconds he’s past the line and face planting into the pale sand. “And he’s down!” One of the boys yell from behind, instant laughter following. “You okay?” A breathless Kiara smiles at him from behind. “Better than okay. I’m a winner.” JJ’s arms flex as he stands, a wide grin on his face despite the dust in his hair. “That’s one name for it.” The curly haired girl bites back her grin. JJ wishes she didn’t.
There’s something casual when she brushes the sand from out of his hair, her tiptoes arched so she can reach him. “Got it?”
“Yeah.” Kiara nods, her arms linking around his before following their tracks. “Dizziness gone?” He gives her a curt nod, quickly changing the conversation to something lighter.
Eventually it was too dark to see their feet in the sand. JJ couldn’t complain, he’d always liked the ominous silence of the stuff. The way the darkness hid everything, yet revealed so much. From sight to noise.
He listened now. First, he heard the soft snore of John b, or maybe Pope. They snored alike. Then he waited for the metallic closing of Cleo’s knife, announcing that she’d given into sleep. It was only night two with her addition to the group, but he decided her presence wasn’t too loud. In fact, he might even count them as friends.
In the end he’d let Sarah have the shelter, tucked away but still in her boyfriend — husband’s? — reach. It’d been a while since she’d felt safe, he hopes this helps.
“Jayj.” That noise he didn’t predict. Either way he turns with wide eyes, taking in Kiara’s faint outline and the way her ankle brushes his knee. “Can I sleep here?” She asks, shuffling beside him. He hums a yes, eyes closing to her relived sigh as she pulls her nature-crafted bed beside him. Usually he’d make a joke. Usually he’d try to make her blush. Usually he’d fail. This time, though, he stays quiet.
Even when she whispers what she assumed to be his sleeping body, “You’re alive.”
JJ’s mouth stays shut.
When her breathing softens his rough palm clasps her knee, tracing endless nothings ‘round her scar. For a while he stays like that, circling the healed stitching with no thoughts nor sound until eventually sleep takes him.
Notes:
Sorry this one was kinda short and sweet! Anywho if you enjoyed please leave a kudos or a comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts or ideas. Thank you for all the love on the previous chapter 💗