Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Two thousand six hundred forty-one. 

There were two thousand six hundred forty-one plaster tips on the ceiling above the bed. For six months, Megumi counted them. 

At first, he reached different numbers, never quite finishing but always close to the end. Twenty short, thirty-six over. Always just shy of the exact number. 

Until the three month mark, he hadn’t narrowed it down. From that point on, on every sixteenth of the month, he counted the same number. 

Two thousand, six hundred, forty-one. 

How many seconds had he spent lying there: on his back, with long, silky black hair draped over the top of his head? How many times had his arms been held down by a woman who was supposed to be a disciple of God? How many minutes had he spent with lanky, slender fingers pressed into the hollows of his knees by a man supposedly carrying out God's will? 

Probably close to two thousand, six hundred, forty-one. Maybe minutes, maybe seconds. One of the two. 

The longer Megumi spent in this house, the longer he began to feel like he was going crazy. Not just the expression either, but the actual, clinically diagnosed kind of crazy. The one that made people manic; the one that turned people into murderers. As time passed he started to understand why people killed themselves. There had to be a way out of this living version of Hell. Six months was a long time to endure the abuse that he and the others were forced to suffer through. 

Rape, physical violence, forced child-bearing… Thankfully, he hadn’t gone through the last one. Yet. He knew his time was coming soon enough, though. That was all he was good for, after all. 

The Commanders called it ‘bearing the fruit of His labors’. In truth, it was just an excuse for men to have sex with women that weren’t their wives, and get away with it in God’s eyes.

As if God gave a fuck what people did behind closed doors. 

God didn’t even exist. Not to Megumi. Not in this world. 

“All done.” The Commander slid his hand down the inside of Megumi’s thigh as he pulled out. A way of showing some sort of affection. They all had their quirks and kinks. This one liked to be touchy when he wasn’t supposed to be. As long as the Wife didn’t see, it didn’t matter. Megumi couldn’t do anything about it even if he wanted to. He’d be put to death for even speaking out of turn. 

And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.

2 And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?

3 And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her.

4 And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her.

5 And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son.

They weren’t considered servants any longer. They were considered Handmaids: placed in ranking Commanders’ homes with their wives to bear the children they had been unable to conceive on their own. That was their purpose. That was Megumi’s purpose. 

Listen. Obey. Take it. 

Take it, take it, take it. 

That’s all any of them were allowed to do. And if they dared to defy? Oh, there were plenty of punishment options. The one he would ask for would be to get hung up on the wall. At least that one was quick. The public stonings, drownings, those were too slow. Painful. If he could go out one way, it would be the wall. 

This house wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the ones Megumi had seen. His prior posting was worse, so really he shouldn’t complain. At least at Commander Gojo’s home he could wear something other than the God awful red dress, let his hair down from the wings. Anything to feel a sense of normalcy. 

He was pulled from his thoughts when the warm body behind him slunk out from underneath him. The Wife, Suguru. She’d had enough of watching her husband fuck another person — one as low as a handmaid at least. Maybe that was her payback. 

“Mrs. Gojo?” Megumi asked quietly as he sat up. Technically it would be better for him to lie down, but he didn’t care. He hoped that this wouldn’t lead into a sustainable pregnancy. He had gotten lucky thus far. 

Suguru hummed softly and turned to face Megumi. Her face showed an array of emotions. Anger, disdain, disgust, sadness . Oh, woe was her to live prettily as a wife in a big, beautiful home, in a world she wished for. How dreadful her life must have been. 

“Yes, Ofsatoru?” 

Ah. Ofsatoru. Megumi’s assigned name. It derived from being assigned property of the Commander. Commander Satoru Gojo. Every handmaid had an assigned name, and names from before were forbidden. Those people didn’t exist anymore. They weren’t allowed to. 

“I was just going to ask if you needed anything before I head to bed.” Megumi offered a smile he knew he played as sincere. All he needed to do was act like the perfect little pet. 

Suguru shook her head and pinched the candle on the nightstand out. “No, thank you. You’re dismissed.” 

Megumi pulled the bottom of his dress down, watching how it flowed off the edge of the bed when he moved his legs. “Goodnight, Mrs. Gojo.” 

🥀

Shopping days were always Megumi’s favorites. He was given tokens to use at the district's grocer every week. The house Martha always prepared a list of items for him to retrieve and bring back home. Today, he was given two meat tokens and a fresh fruit token. Both with pictures only, since those classified as women weren’t allowed to read. Rumor had it that they were able to import oranges from one of the states that had been in rebellion for months. 

Praise fucking be. 

Megumi prepared himself to leave the home with his clean dress and freshly pressed white wings. All Handmaids were required to wear them out in public; it was a sign of respect, obedience. To him, the display just screamed ‘ I’m wearing this because I’m a useless slut.’ That was how everyone saw them anyway. 

His walking partner was already waiting for him outside the gate of the Gojo home. What a pious bitch she was; always talking in their lingo — greeting everyone with a smile and acting like this Hell was truly a gift from God himself. 

“Under His eye, Ofkento,” Megumi greeted her. He never knew what her real name was, the name she had before this started. He never gave a shit about these given names. He only used them to fly under the radar.  

Ofkento smiled tightly and nodded once. “May the Lord open. I hear you have a fruit token to use today? There’s supposedly oranges from Florida at the shop this week.” 

Megumi hummed. “I’ve heard. Praise be, we should enjoy the gifts He has given us.” 

All of the God talk made him want to vomit. Megumi never believed in God before this, and he sure as hell didn’t when he was taken. Anyone who could willingly cause harm to others was not one of His disciples. That wasn’t ever a part of the teachings he knew to be of God. 

“Yes, praise be. It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed an orange.” Ofkento started with a step forward and Megumi followed. 

They must walk side-by-side, eyes cast down at the ground to not draw attention to themselves or interfere with any of the Wives who are out and about. It was truly one of the most demeaning things any human could endure. 

“I heard that Ofnoritoshi is with child,” Ofkento mentioned. She was good at keeping up with the other handmaids. Megumi… Not so much. 

“I must congratulate her then at the shop.” Congratulating a handmaid on a pregnancy that was a result of rape. How fitting for this fucked up culture; but if he didn’t, then he was to be punished by the Aunts. Sometimes it was better to just do as he was told and not ask questions, or doubt. 

The Gojo house was stationed close to the town square, which meant that the walks to and from the store were always rather quick. Fifteen minutes there and fifteen minutes back. Megumi had done this so much that he counted the seconds every trip. One to sixty, keeping track of how many times he reached that number with a tap against his knuckles. Today they were quick — they made it in only fourteen taps.

Entering the shop was like waking up in Heaven. Not because of how wonderful or beautiful it was, but because of how fucking bright the entire building was. White fluorescent lights over the entirety of the ceiling and not a single bulb missing. Perhaps it was this way so that the Guardians could keep an eye on them. No room for shadows to hide in and converse, not dark aisles for handmaids to sneak away through.

That didn’t stop Megumi from dreaming about it. 

It was the same greeting every time. Under His eye. May the Lord open. Praise be. Megumi had said them all so many times they were hardwired into his brain. It was the only acceptable form of greeting allowed, as everything was to be credited to God. No hello’s, no good morning’s, just something that said they appreciated everything He had done for them – a reminder of their place to one another. 

As if people weren’t the reason for all of the blessings that had been created. God didn’t grow the babies, he didn’t water the crops. God didn’t perform life saving surgeries to prevent sick Wives and injured Commanders from dying. And God wasn’t the one who sent handmaids to their deaths in the Colonies. No, all of that was man’s decision and actions alone. Using God was just a way for everyone to avoid being held accountable. 

By saying ‘It’s in God’s hands’ meant that they could do whatever they wanted and say God ordered them to. That was how they got away with rape, murder, and practical genocide without so much as a slap on the wrist. 

“Why, under His eye, Ofsatoru.”

Megumi looked up at the sound of his name — His disgustingly dehumanizing given name — and smiled tightly. Ofnoritoshi. “May the Lord open, Ofnoritoshi. I hear congratulations are in order. You’re with child, yes?” 

She, like the rest of the handmaid's Megumi had come to know of, was a tightly wound and obedient girl. Very to the book of the republic. He couldn’t stand people like that. 

“I am, yes. And praise be. Commander Kamo and his wife truly deserve this child.” Ofnoritoshi looked down at her belly, and rubbed one hand over the non-existent bump. Maybe she was too brainwashed to understand; it seemed most of the women were. 

“No loitering, ladies.” One of the Guardians tapped Megumi’s back with the tip of his rifle, encouraging them to move along. 

Ladies. 

That was something Megumi still wasn’t used to. Here, he wasn’t recognized correctly. Here – he was a gender traitor. They received that identity from the records of their previous lives. It was how they came to be handmaids. He wasn’t allowed to be Megumi, the twenty-four year old transgender man he spent his entire teen years working towards. He wasn’t allowed to be called ‘him’, or to openly express his identity. It was sick how he was treated, how he was expected to just be okay with it. He still struggled with accepting it. He didn’t think he ever fully would.

Here, he was Megumi – the female handmaid. It was… Disgusting, and dehumanizing, and… Just absolutely awful. And there had been no time to adjust. He was ripped away from his identity and forced to take one that he spent so many years of his life hating himself for. It would take years to fix what this has done to him. If he ever even got the chance to do so.

At least he wasn’t classified as an unwomen. He had been given the second chance unlike many others. Some said he should be grateful. He thought that he was unfortunate. 

There were a few other ‘traitors’ that he knew of. The people who dared to defy God in the previous life. And to these God rearing freaks, defying God meant being anything but cisgender, heterosexuals. As if God gave a fuck how someone identified. 

“Yes, sir,” Megumi whispered. He took a few steps out of the way and grabbed a fresh bell pepper from the produce stand. He never liked them but the Wife of his house loved them, so therefore they ate them. She was the ruler of the home. The one who made all of the decisions when it came to their handmaid. The Commander was simply there to keep her in her place.

The punishments for being what was considered a gender traitor were all severe. Nothing in this country was appropriate. The penalty for something as simple as reading while being a woman was punishable by losing a finger. So for something as serious as being homosexual or transgender, since that’s where their priorities lie, was punishable by genital mutilation. Something to prevent women from ever feeling the desire to sin again. Sometimes, and most often, it was punishable by being sent to the Colonies to work in the fields.

Absolutely fucked.  

But surely, they couldn’t be too cruel to the outside world. So, if it happened prior to the beginning of Ferax, then the people were assigned as handmaids. If it happened now though? They would be punished. Six months of this and Megumi was ready to kill himself. He was ready two weeks in, but only held on because he remembered his husband. 

Yuuji. Sweet Yuuji. He wouldn’t want Megumi to give up. He would want him to keep fighting; to kill his way out of here to be free again. So that was what Megumi did. He stayed, and took the Ceremonies, the abuse, the training… He took it all. And now he was here, and there was no end in sight. Perhaps suicide should be back on the table. As long as he didn’t get caught. Because the punishment for that , if someone were stopped, was public death by peers. Stoning, beating, whatever the Aunts decide. 

And speaking of Aunts…

“Good morning, ladies,” Aunt Remi greeted them. 

Megumi broke from his dead stare into the bin of peppers, and smiled weakly at her. “Good morning, Aunt Remi.” 

The Aunts were those in charge of the handmaids. They were responsible for training them, punishing them, and making sure they were following their fertility cycles for the Ceremonies with their Commanders. 

Training consisted of two months of Bible readings, exercises to show how the Ceremony should be done each month, lessons on how a handmaid should act in the home and out in public, and the rules they were to abide by each and every day. It felt like they were slapped back one hundred years into history when the switch happened. There were some days that Meugmi felt he wasn’t real. He knew his body was there, but his mind and soul had to have been outside of it. Those days only got worse in intensity and frequency. 

“How are you all doing today? On our best behavior, I’m sure.” Aunt Remi flicked her wrist and the leather bullwhip landed with a quick snap to Megumi’s back. He scrunched his nose and clenched his teeth, fixing his posture as soon as the pain subsided. He wasn’t sure what the problem was; perhaps he was slouching, or he was looking at the bin for too long. Regardless, nothing that he did warranted a whip like that in front of everyone. 

“I’m sorry, Aunt Remi,” Megumi gasped. The pain tickled throughout the skin on his back, throbbing hot with his pulse. Those things fucking hurt. 

“That’s alright dear. I’m here to correct you, so it won’t happen again.” 

Megumi tucked the red bell pepper in his hand into the bag his Martha gave him for the shopping. He’d have to use a token for it but he didn’t mind. They weren’t his to begin with. 

🥀

The gate to the Gojo house was slightly open when Megumi returned home. He shut it behind him and stepped onto the stone pathway leading to the house. The sound of the hose running made him turn his head as he walked over the hill: the driver was home. 

Ryomen. 

He lived in the loft above the garage to make it convenient for the Commander.

Megumi had seen him from time to time; driving the Commander to meetings and appointments, delivering news to the Commander in his office. It was never more than passing moments as they weren’t allowed to converse. Not that Megumi would want to have a conversation with the man. Drivers worked for the Commanders. In Megumi’s eyes, Ryomen was just as bad as the rest of them. 

“Oh, you’re home.” Ryomen straightened up when Megumi started to walk past. “Did you happen to get fish?” 

Megumi glanced his way, and bowed his head as he had been taught. “No, sir,” he said quietly. “I did not receive a fish token.” 

He could hear the way Ryomen smiled. The sound of saliva moving against teeth, lips being licked. “Good. I fucking hate fish.” 

Megumi almost snapped his head up. That kind of language was not tolerated here, and certainly not around handmaids. Not because they had status but because these loons genuinely believed it affected their ability to bear children. Or that it would impact the child already in the womb. But he managed to keep his head down and nod once. “I understand, sir.  No fish.” 

When the water started flowing again, the sound of leaves rustling and petals drinking, Megumi resumed his walk back to the house. He stopped when he heard himself being spoken to once more. 

“Don’t call me sir. That’s for the Commander only. Got it?” 

“Yes… Yes.” Megumi nodded again, bowing his head even though he wasn’t facing the driver, and continued forward. This had been his only interaction with the man and yet he felt… Strange. Why did he speak to Megumi? Why would he care to tell him he hates fish? Megumi only retrieved what he was asked of by the Martha. Never anything more and only less when they were out of the requested item. 

Maybe it was his way of trying to be friendly. Megumi hardly thought it was kind, but perhaps that was all Ryomen had to offer like this. Most people didn’t even look a handmaid's way, let alone try to speak to them. 

The door creaked on its hinges as he stepped inside. It was roughly one hundred years old; seized from a wealthy family after the war in the city. That was how all of the homes the Commanders had were obtained. Not a single one of them was purchased rightfully. Captured, taken, stolen. All from families who were defiant, who refused to conform to the ways of Ferax. It was always hard to say what happened to those families but it was easy to guess that they had likely been put up on the wall – hung for the public to see and make an example of. 

“Welcome back,” the Martha, Utahime, greeted him as he entered the kitchen. “Did you get the new oranges? Mrs. Gojo has been asking for them.” 

Megumi set the bags down on the limestone counters and hummed. “I did. I also got those peppers you asked for.” 

“Oh, perfect.” Utahime spun around from the sink, her apron flying up and twirling with her. She grabbed one of the fresh peppers and examined it for any bruising. Megumi knew how to pick proper produce, but he never said anything. It was her job after all to make sure everything was up to par for the Commander and his Wife. “These look good. Thank you.” 

Not like he had much of a choice. “You’re welcome. Is Mrs. Gojo home?” 

Megumi didn’t like being around Suguru. She liked to act kind, but he knew she wasn’t. It was partially her fault they even lived in this kind of world. Her and Commander Gojo were two of the leaders in turning America into Ferax. Without them the entire thing might have just fallen apart. 

He would say ‘praise be’ to that. 

Utahime placed an orange down on one of the cutting boards next to them. She grabbed a knife from the block on the counter and wiped it with the end of her apron. “She’s in the greenhouse. I’m surprised you didn’t see her on the way in.” 

Megumi was grateful he didn’t see her. Suguru would have likely cornered him and asked if he was feeling any different. Even if it had only been a few days since the Ceremony, the wives tended to jump the day after to see if their handmaids were pregnant. That was all they cared about. To see if watching their husbands rape handmaids paid off. And every time Megumi didn’t get pregnant, the angrier Suguru grew.  

He liked to think that’s what they get. 

“I’ll be taking my leave to my room then.” Megumi accepted the orange slice Utahime offered him. Bright in color and juicy enough to drip down his thumb. It had been a long time since he had one of these. “Hopefully Florida continues to send these our way.” 

“You didn’t hear?” Utahime offered another slice, taking one for herself in the process. “They captured Florida. Their land is now a part of Ferax, which means we’ll be getting these often.” 

“How blessed we are,” Megumi said quietly. That meant that there was one more state he couldn’t plan an escape to. 

Previously, Florida had been used to get those trying to escape over to Mexico or across the Atlantic to Europe. Without it, they now had even slimmer chances of breaking out of here. Dammit. 

That left the northern border only and Canada was beginning to overflow with refugees. He’d heard the Commander talking about plans to go retrieve those they had lost, since Canada was hurting population wise. Too overcrowded. Chances were they wouldn’t accept him even if he tried. 

Was there no hope, then? Was Ferax Megumi’s final destiny? To… Serve a Commander until he was no longer able to reproduce? 

No, there had to be more than that. He couldn’t give up hope just yet all because of a story he’d heard about some damn oranges. Florida would fight back again; they had to. 

Before Megumi could turn to head towards his small bedroom on the top floor, the toll of a familiar bell rang thrice outside. The front door opened and in stepped Ryomen. “Ofsatoru, the Salvaging van is here for you.” 

Megumi looked at Utahime with a slight frown, one that wore worry and fear. Salvagings were events that were called by the Aunts to gather the handmaids in the colony at the town center. They were never simple meetings. No; they were public deaths inflicted by the handmaids or before them. Sometimes both. 

All of them gathered together with their deep crimson red dresses and white wings, or bonnets, placed neatly on matching red cushions yards away. The deaths were different depending on the crime the person had been convicted of. Rape was normally a beating to the death, while defiance in the highest form was usually a stoning. It didn’t matter who it was — if a crime had been committed, then the punishment followed. 

No matter how many times he had done them, Megumi never found it easier to get used to. He wondered what today would be, and how he would feel afterwards. Hopefully it was someone who truly deserved such a punishment. He couldn’t be the hand of death to another unwoman or econowife. 

Those two were stories for another time. Another day, perhaps. 

Megumi wiped his hands on the towel hanging off the handle of the stove and clasped his hands together as he approached the door. Ryomen stayed put, lowering his gaze to follow Megumi’s steps as he moved. When he got closer, the driver placed his hand on the doorframe, successfully blocking Megumi’s exit. 

“Do as they say,” he whispered softly. Softer than Megumi had ever heard him speak prior to. Why was he telling him this? Megumi always listened to the Aunts. 

Well, most of the time at least. Perhaps he offered a little backtalk here and there. But who didn’t? 

“Of course,” Megumi replied in the same hushed tone. 

🥀

The ride in the van was silent as it always is. Quiet enough for Megumi to hear his breaths come out slowly and the tapping of Mai’s.

Small talk wasn’t permitted amongst the handmaids and that law was reinforced by an Aunt in the back of the van with an electric cattle prod resting on her lap. Always there to ensure the girls, and Megumi, were on their best behavior. And if they didn’t do it because of their intensive training then they did it for fear of being harmed. 

“Aunt Remi, do you know who we are salvaging today?” Mai was the only one who ever dared to speak. 

She was Aunt Remi’s ‘special girl’. The one she cared for the most, the one who received the softest intervention due to her lack of cognitive ability. Megumi had looked after her as well from their time in the Red Center together. 

Another topic for another time. 

“You’ll find out soon enough, dear.” Aunt Remi raised the rod to show Mai that she shouldn’t speak out of turn. Mai pulled her lips together into a thin line and bowed her head once more to look down at her lap. At least it was a warning. 

The driver tapped on the glass wall separating himself from the handmaids to alert the Aunt that they had arrived. Aunt Remi cleared her throat and stood from her seat in the van to open the back hatch. They were always herded like cattle — every mode of transportation in cargo vans. It was to continue dehumanizing them, to reiterate that they were nothing more than the property of their Commanders. 

“Out we go, girls. Come now.” Aunt Remi held the door while Megumi and the others shuffled down the steps to the concrete path.

They arranged in a single file line with their hands folded neatly in front of them, and awaited for Aunt Remi’s signal to walk. When they received it, they progressed on. 

At least twenty Eyes surrounded the town center circle. All had their guns relaxed against their chests and stomachs, watching as the handmaids moved towards their red pillows. It was just as quiet out there as it had been in the van. Eerie, truly. 

“Hurry up now.” Aunt Remi poked Megumi in the small of his back with the tip of the cattle rod. Thankfully it wasn’t on, so it only made him gasp with surprise. He already had a burn back there from the last time he was zapped. 

Megumi couldn’t help but to glance up to try and see what the set up looked like today. Nothing had been laid out for them yet, so it was just the pillows on the grass and the stage in front of them. 

It symbolized how mindless the handmaids were expected to be. To bow down before someone and listen to their every word; accept the information they were given and doubt it none. Here they were walking in this kindergarten taught line, following behind a classified military man and being followed by a power hungry woman who hates other women. And not a single one of them could say a thing about it. 

“Now take your places and be good girls. Eyes on me, not a peep from any of you. Especially you, Mai.” Aunt Remi poked Mai with the rod next, still off. Mai nodded quickly and wrung her hands together over the front patch of her dress. An anxious tic. 

Megumi and the others separated off into their rows and bowed down to their knees on a designated pillow. He lifted his wings off his head and set it down in his lap, waiting with the rest of the handmaids to hear the speech from Aunt Remi. That was always how they heard the crime, and learned the punishment they would be administering. 

A curtain pulled back to reveal two nooses hung from a wooden beam. Two ropes for two executions. Death by hanging, not by their hands. It made Megumi breathe out a sigh of relief. 

“Good afternoon, girls.” Aunt Remi’s voice boomed from the speakers surrounding the stage. Quite the large setup for such an event. 

“Good afternoon, Aunt Remi,” the handmaids all said back in unison. They sounded robotic, forced, unlike themselves. Megumi included. 

“These salvagings are something special, aren’t they girls?” Aunt Remi grabbed the microphone from the stand and walked slowly across the wooden platform. “Who enjoys coming to these?” 

Megumi watched one, two, three… All but six hands shoot up into the air. He couldn’t blame them, not as much as he wanted to. Who would enjoy coming to watch people get murdered? Regardless of their crimes; whether they were warranted or completely obscene. It must have been the constant brainwashing. The reiteration into their heads that by doing this, they were saving people. Lost and broken souls. 

It was cruel, is what it was. And to expect women who were just normal people prior to this to partake in such heinous acts, it was ridiculous. Yet if anyone were to question it, they would be punished just the same. A shame, really. 

“Well, I despise them. I think you girls are spoiled, privileged. And yet you’re all still so rotten.” The last syllable was practically spat at them. “Rotten, and wicked just like Ofmasamichi, like Ofyoshinobu.” 

There were muffled screams from the right side of the stage as two Eyes carried a woman in the same red dress all handmaids wear forward. Her face was badly bruised, the skin above her right eyebrow broken and slit with blood trickling down over the blindfold tied around her head. Her dress had been torn at the hem as well. Likely from trying to put up a fight. 

Good for her. 

“Ofmasamichi had been welcomed into Commander Yaga’s house. The Commander and his family took her in with open arms, despite her traitorous life prior to Ferax saving her. Oh,” Aunt Remi clicked her tongue. “Stupid, stupid girl. Saved from an eternity in Hell only to follow the Devil once more. Shameful.

She lured an Eye into her Commander’s home to lie with him. She encouraged this man, this God-reared man, to break his pact of abstinence. A sinful slut is what she is.” 

Ofmasamichi was pushed by the barrel end of the Eyes’ guns to the platform. She tripped on the step up to the ropes and the Eyes yanked her up by the arm. It was difficult to watch. Megumi’s stomach twisted with each muffled cry, his body tensing every time the Eyes moved her too harshly. And when they shoved her head into the opening of the noose, he almost looked away. He would have, were it not for the other Eyes standing feet behind them to ensure they were behaving. And behaving meant paying attention to everything that was happening on the stage. 

Aunt Remi waited until the rope was secured tightly around Ofmasamichi’s neck before proceeding. “And not just her. No, never just one. We have a second corrupt girl who has committed something even worse. 

To be welcomed into a home and given the blessed duty of bearing a child for them, Ofyoshinobu partook and encouraged adultery with her Commander. Under the same roof his wife brought her in. The roof she was provided for shelter, a home she was never without necessity in.” 

Megumi thought that was the bare minimum. They were forced to be these servants and yet everyone acted as if providing them with necessities such as food and shelter were niceties instead. It made his blood boil hearing Aunt Remi talk about it. 

“For that she must be punished.” Aunt Remi brought the microphone down and all of the handmaids turned to face the opposite side of the stage. 

Two Eyes, just like before, brought another handmaid out in the same condition Ofmasamichi was in. Beaten, bloody, and disheveled. Like she had been pummeled prior to walking out on the stage. She honestly might have been. 

“Today we salvage these two broken and lost souls. We send them to the depths of where their actions lie. And it is not with God himself, or the Holy Christ. No, today we send these girls to Hell.” 

Megumi watched with despair growing in his gut as the Eyes stepped down off the platform. One moved to grab the lever on the right side of the stand. They weren’t given any warning; they never were. All that they could do was watch in shock as the lever released and the wooden platform fell out from underneath their peers’ feet. 

With the silence, he could hear the snapping of their necks. The sound tingled through his ears and down his spine, goosebumps instantly prickling up all over his skin. The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up, and he had to sink his nails down into the flesh of his palms to fight back the overwhelming nausea that took over. 

Within seconds, there was no more crying. No more muffled screams, no more flailing legs or whipping dresses. Just the creaking of the beam supporting the two lifeless bodies on full display for all to see. They’d likely be hung up on the wall to be used as examples next. Public death followed by public humiliation. 

How Christian of them. 

“That’s not all for today girls, so don’t get too jittery just yet.” Aunt Remi waited for the Eyes to wheel the platform off the center front of the stage.

Megumi didn’t want to watch — he wanted to tuck his head down and vomit right into the grass. He wished so desperately that he could. Maybe it could even be considered praying if he did it right. God, I don’t believe in you, but you could try to prove to me you’re real by saving me from the living nightmare. Maybe then, I’ll understand.

“The authorities discovered one of their own has been traitorous, too. A fellow Guardian from the military. He has been found guilty of rape.” 

There were gasps from some of the girls on the grass, and groans from others. Anger undoubtedly boiling up inside each and every one of them. Weren’t those men supposed to uphold the standards of this forsaken society? Weren’t they the ones who were put in charge for showing dedication and loyalty to the cause?

Megumi always knew it was a crock of horse shit. This country was created so men could use women as their toys. Have them as possessions. Nothing more, nothing less. They sure painted a pretty picture with the red dresses and purity wings, though. 

“And not just any rape, no. The rape of a pregnant handmaid.”

That seemed to get even more of a reaction. 

“I hope we get to beat him,” Mai said quietly. 

“That’s like, the least intense punishment we could give him. I say we stone him.” 

“Yeah, stoning sounds more fair.” 

Aunt Remi cleared her throat from the stage and everyone looked towards her. She looked down at her feet and sighed. Megumi had a feeling he knew exactly what kind of punishment they were going to give the Guardian. And he honestly wasn’t feeling bad about it. If there was anyone who deserved public death, it was the Guardians. 

The ones responsible for fighting in the war to take over America. Those in charge of capturing women and children to reassign them to proper families. Thankfully, he and Yuuji didn’t have any children. There’s no doubt they would have had one ripped from them during this. And knowing Yuuji was dead just… Megumi couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 

A man was dragged forward from the same side of the stage that Ofmasamichi had been pulled from, and all eyes turned to him. He had silver hair down to his shoulders – making him look older than he was. Cuts and scars across his face, arms, and neck that looked a little too much like stitches. 

The same two guardians from the previous hangings pushed him down off the stage where he fell onto his side. He looked around frantically, eyes scanning each handmaid on their knees in front of him. They didn’t have a blindfold on him like the others that were executed, but they did have his mouth bound shut. Like that he couldn’t scream. 

“Come forward, girls.” Aunt Remi stepped down from the stage and stood behind the man. 

Megumi climbed to his feet with the others and they filed out of their aisles neatly, methodically. They had done it hundreds of times, after all. 

“Gather in your circle around him now.” 

The handmaids did as they were told and formed a loose circle around the man. Megumi could see the panic in his eyes, and it made the adrenaline in his body surge. They hardly got to salvage Guardians. Most of the time they were punished directly by the higher up Commanders. Only those who committed crimes against handmaids were subjected to this kind of torture. And those were hardly ever caught, since the system was devised to protect them. Not the other way around. 

“Now, you know the rules. When I blow this whistle, you are free to do as you please, until I blow it again.

Megumi glared down at the man in front of them. His eyes frantically looked over each of the handmaids, silently begging at least one of them to stand against this. Too bad for him that they were all looking forward to hurting one of the men responsible for putting them here. No matter how pious, how righteous or serving any of them were, none of them were brought into this willingly. And that warranted anger. 

The whistle blew and for a moment not a single person moved. It was as if they were too afraid to; as if they feared what would happen to them for being violent against an official. Megumi ended up being the one to start the process. 

He stepped forward with his hands clenching the sides of his dress, anger bubbling up inside of him. Men like this were the reason he was here. Why he was pulled out of the car that day, why he was separated from his husband. Why his husband was dead. 

These men deserved nothing but the worst. 

Megumi reared his right leg back and landed a hard kick to the man’s chest. He heard what sounded like a choked gasp from the Guardian, and it only spurred him to do it again. 

And again. 

And then again.

That was what finally sparked the others to join in. Mai dropped down to her knees and brought two fists over the man’s head, connecting with the crown of it. She did it over and over, while Megumi kicked his chest, stomach, and groin. Anything to make him hurt even a fraction of how badly Megumi hurt. How badly any of them hurt. 

This is payback, he thought to himself. 

Under His eye, motherfucker.

Chapter Text

☀️

“Yuuji we can’t, we’re not going to make it in time.”

Megumi looked out the window to see if the cars were still behind them; there was nothing in the mirror but he could still hear the sirens off in the distance. All he could see was the bend of the road and the reflection of their tail lights on the dark pavement. 

Yuuji squeezed his hand and glanced in the rearview mirror to check himself. “We’re going to make it. We will make it.” 

Megumi wasn’t convinced. They had waited too long. He took too long to pay attention to the signs around them.

Both of them did. 

It all felt like a bad dream at first. He remembered both of them thinking, there was no way this was going to happen to them. It hadn’t happened in over a hundred years. The chances of this time coming were so minimal, and then they were so sudden. 

From the closure of his individual bank account, to being terminated at work alongsidehis female colleagues. The protests, the law changes, everything . He wasn’t scared until it was too late, and now they weren’t going to make it out. They had expected a rebellion of what the government wanted without fighting for it themselves. How careless of them.

“We’re so close. There’s no way...” Yuuji’s words died off and the sound of a sputtering engine took their place. 

Megumi’s stomach dropped to the floorboard. He snapped his head to the side and looked at his husband with wide eyes. Was that the sound of what he thought it was? “Don’t tell me the car died. Please do not tell me that.” 

At that moment, Megumi was glad Yuuji didn’t use his awfully timed sense of humor. “It did. Fuck. Fuck! ” 

If the car died, then they had to make the rest of the trip on foot, and there was close to fifty miles left. Even if they put their all into it, those officers would get to them before they hit the three mile mark. With nothing but open fields and open roads, they were doomed. No matter how good of shape either of them were in, that trek was impossible without getting caught by someone. Authorities were all over the place now.

Yuuji turned the steering wheel to the right and waited for it to stop rolling. Megumi swung his door open and hopped out without a second thought. He snatched his bag from the back seat and tossed Yuuji’s to him. They would have to go on foot for as far as they could, and pray to a God that neither of them believed in that it would work. 

“We have to go, Yuu. Now .” Megumi slinked his arms through the straps of the bag and glanced over his shoulder towards the road.

The sirens grew louder and closer with each step they took. It felt like no matter how fast they tried to move they weren’t getting any further away. The pit of dread in Megumi’s stomach only grew. 

Listening to the leaves crunching underneath their feet, feeling his pulse in his ears, and hearing his heavy breaths added to the panic he felt. Their lives were banking on this escape. If they were caught they would be killed for trying to escape. Or worse – Megumi would be forced into the position of a handmaid and Yuuji would be tortured, then put to death in front of him. 

Megumi knew better than to look back; it would only drive that panic deeper inside of him. But he did. And the second he did, he regretted it. 

Guardians were only yards away chasing them. Guns tucked while they ran but ready to be drawn with their fingers on the trigger. 

Megumi faced forward again and dropped his bag to rid himself of the extra weight. He reached out with his left hand and grabbed ahold of Yuuji’s. 

“Meg, go.” Yuuji pulled Megumi ahead until he was two steps in front. “ Go . Get the hell out of here!” 

Megumi couldn’t process what was happening until his hand was released. His head jerked to the side and his eyes found Yuuji’s behind him. Everything in Megumi broke right then. Yuuji was giving up for him to have a chance. Knowing what they would do to him, he still sacrificed himself for Megumi’s freedom. 

“Yuu, no!” Megumi cried. He stopped his sprint to turn around, to go back for his husband. 

A gunshot echoed in the field and his hands flew up to his mouth. He screamed; one so full of pain and agony that it brought tears to his eyes. Never in his life did he think this was how he would lose the love of his life. 

His sweet Yuuji. The man he had spent the last six years of his life with. The man he woke up next to every single morning, who he ate dinner with every evening. The man who… The only man he has ever loved so much he couldn’t express it. 

Every memory they have ever had flashed through his mind. Every smile, every kiss, every tear shed. They would never get to experience any of that together again. Not now. 

Yuuji fell forward, not even able to use his hands to catch himself as his face plummeted into the dirt underneath him. And only seconds later Megumi was tackled to the ground so hard it knocked the wind from his lungs. 

He gasped repeatedly, trying to cry and catch his breath to break free at the same time. Every attempt proved to be of no use when two Guardians pinned his arms and legs down into the dirt, and a third pointed a rifle right at his face.

No one ever truly knows what they would do in a life or death situation. It was easy to think what one might do, or try to do, but until they were in that scenario, they couldn’t say for sure. Megumi was one of those people. He always thought he’d fight and kick and kill to break free. To find a way to escape the inevitable. 

But right now, he couldn’t do anything. His will to live was just shot right in front of him. Yuuji had just died for nothing. 

Megumi was now the property of Ferax.

☀️

The sun was far too warm on Megumi’s skin for his liking. Beating down on him like it held a personal grudge, determined to make him sweat enough to ruin the shirt he chose to wear under his coat today. He shielded his eyes with his hand as he looked up into the sky to see if there were any chances of an overcast any time soon. 

Of course not.

All he could see were clear skies and a gleaming ball of fire. One that felt like it was far too close to the Earth to be comfortable. Or maybe he was just exaggerating. That was what his dad liked to say at least. 

Megumi tore his gaze from the sky when he heard his name called from the stand ahead. He stepped forward with the little paper ticket in his free hand and handed it to the woman behind the counter. 

“Thirteen sixty-five,” she said with a smile. 

Megumi handed her his card next, waiting for her to tap it on her little screen while he stuffed those coarse napkins into his bag. He wouldn’t use them but they were nice to keep in the glovebox of his car. An ‘in case of emergency’ kind of thing. His supply had depleted after spilling a large coffee on his way to work last week; the cleanup had been a disaster, and his pants never recovered.

He thanked her with a nod when he took his card back and turned to head back up to his office. 

Fifteen floors up in one of the biggest buildings on the street. Most people didn’t even think there was a doctor’s office there. Hell, he didn’t believe it either when he interviewed. It felt like one of those hiring post scams at first. 

Working on days like this never felt right. Here he was, trapped inside an office for ten hours of the day while it’s sunny and bright outside. He could be out walking his dogs, or sitting on the beach with an ice cold drink in his hand. But then again, he fucking hated the heat, so most of  the time would likely be spent inside in the air conditioning. Perhaps he just liked to complain.

Megumi attempted to tuck his card back into his wallet, nearly dropping it when he couldn’t keep a grip on the leather and the bag containing his food. For being a licensed physician, he sure had horrible coordination.

He placed the card in between his teeth to readjust his grip on everything. That’s when he felt a bump to his right side and the bag with his fresh burrito and mountain of napkins fell to the  ground.

The breeze that wasn’t there while he was standing in line made its presence known by blowing half of his new napkin stash down the cracked sidewalk. His burrito rolled out of the bag as well and the foil covering it came undone as it moved. 

“God dammit, ” he hissed under his breath. He looked up with the card still in his mouth to see who the hell just bumped into him without any consideration. 

A man with wild pink hair glued to his forehead with sweat smiled down at him apologetically. He had an AirPod in one ear and another in his hand, likely taken out to say something. But Megumi didn’t care.

“Watch where the fuck you’re going,” Megumi spat. 

His white coat swiped over the concrete when he crouched down to the ground to try and gather what he could. Rocks and miniature blades of grass clung to the material as the wind blew the hem of it around. Great. Now he would have to get a new one from the office for the rest of the day. 

“Sorry doc,” the man said as he sat on his haunches next to Megumi. “I was so into my run I didn’t even see you walking from that side.”

“Maybe you should open your eyes next time then.” Megumi snatched the bag from the stranger and set it down on the ground to put his card away. 

He shoveled the napkins he could catch into the bag and rewrapped his burrito the best he could. It hadn’t touched the concrete so that was something. Perhaps it would still be edible.

He’s just glad his card didn’t get knocked down in the process. It would have been snatched up quickly down here. Downtown New York is not the place to drop something so valuable. 

The pink haired stranger breathed out a laugh and stood back up when Megumi did. “Let me buy you a new lunch. It’s the least I can do since I ruined that one.” 

Megumi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and not roll his eyes. Kindness goes a long way, his mother always told him. But he seemed to have gotten most of his temperament and attitude from his father. It showed in times like these when he was annoyed, inconvenienced by others.

“No, I,” he sighed. “My lunch is already almost over. I have patients on the schedule so I can’t just take my lunch whenever I feel like.” 

Megumi motioned his hand in front of the stranger, up and down his body. He hadn’t realized how little the man was wearing. Or how big he really was, or how bright his eyes were as they looked down at him. 

Not the time, Megumi. 

“Unlike you, who seems to just be running in the middle of the day for fun.” 

Stranger laughed again, the sound echoing on the side of the street and making Megumi look around. He didn’t think what he said had been all that funny.  

“I’m a firefighter. I just got off a twenty-four hour shift, but I see your point. How about I bring it up to you and you can eat it whenever you’d like? What’s your office number?”  

Megumi should feel bad for assuming this guy was just a freeloader off in the middle of a work day. But he didn’t, because that’s exactly what he looked like. And he was certainly not going to give him his office. What if he turned out to be some creep or something? That would just set him up to be attacked. Times were scary enough already. 

“I’m good. Next time, just watch where you’re going.” 

Stranger opened his mouth to say something else but Megumi straightened up with his torn bag and wiped his white coat off before turning to head into the building. He would eat what he could of the food that had been dropped before his break ended in fifteen minutes and then he’d carry on his day. A missed meal was not something new to him in his field of work, especially not with how busy it had been lately. It seemed that every day just got worse and worse. 

☀️

For the following days, Megumi spent each lunch break out front of  his office at that same food truck. He ordered the same meal every day and went out at the same time, on the dot. The food wasn’t that memorable, but he was there for a different reason. 

That stupid fool who bumped into him and knocked his bag to the ground had been popping up in his head at random points throughout the day. While he was examining a patient, on his walk home from the office, while he was feeding his dogs. It was like no matter how hard he tried not to think about him he did. It didn’t matter what he tried, either. The image of damp pink hair showed up, then the veiny biceps, and the short shorts…

“God dammit, Megumi,” he mumbled to himself. “Now is not the time to get horny thoughts.” 

Megumi stepped forward when his name was called. He had his card ready, moving in the same motions he had for the last few days. Tap, napkins, bag. No other strangers had bumped into him and particularly not the one he wanted to. 

He couldn’t explain why he felt the desire to see him again. Nothing other than missing the touch of another human for years. Dating apps hadn’t gone well for him and he could only go to the bar so much to try and meet people. His job was demanding and he was a homebody through and through. Maybe he was destined to be alone, after all. 

At least the sun wasn’t beating down on him today like it was last week. There was a heavy overcast that had most people avoiding walking too much, for fear of getting rained on during their commute. Maybe that was why he hadn’t seen the stranger yet. 

Or maybe he was at work. He did say he was a firefighter. They work awfully long shifts from what he recalls; Megumi dated one in college. 

Megumi was tucking his card back into his wallet so he could head back into his office when he felt a hand on his arm. His eyes dipped down and then up to see who the hand was attached to. 

The pink haired stranger.

“Hey doc,” Stranger said with a smile, with bright hazel eyes that screamed joy and happiness, and a dimple on his right cheek. Not that Megumi was paying that much attention of course.

Obvious things, really. 

Megumi didn’t smile back. He didn’t want it to come off that he was excited, or that he enjoyed seeing him. He couldn’t let it be known that he had been looking forward to this, or hoping that it would happen. How desperate would he look then? He was probably just confused anyway. It was stupid of him to even want to run into this man. 

“At least you didn’t knock my lunch out of my hands again,” Megumi furrowed his brows. He pulled his arm back so Stranger would let go of him. 

“Yes, thank goodness I didn’t.” Stranger laughed just like he did the other day. Loud, and hearty. Like what he said was funny. “I don’t think I got your name last time, either. Mind if I get it this time?” 

“Why – do you plan to run into me again?” Megumi looked up with a furrow in his brows.

Stranger’s smile grew wider when he looked down at Megumi. The lines at the corners of his eyes twitched and Megumi could tell they were close in age. This guy might even be a little younger than him, but not by much.

“That’s my goal. Or maybe I’d like to ask you to join me for lunch one of these days. But how will I do that if I don’t know your name?” 

Megumi couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach. How juvenile it was of him to feel such a way about someone he didn’t know. Or perhaps that was where the excitement laid. 

It must have been years since he last accepted an approach, and certainly longer since he accepted said approach. Was there any harm in allowing this man to know his name? Likely not, but what would it mean for Megumi? Letting someone in when he hasn’t opened up in such a long time. It was terrifying at the same time it was exhilarating. 

“Megumi.” 

Stranger seemed to wet his lips with the tip of his tongue, swiping it over the bottom one before he grinned again. “Megumi,” he repeated. Tasting it, testing it out. Seeing how it sounded on his tongue. “Pretty.” 

… And it was ruined. 

“Not pretty,” Megumi scoffed. 

That was what his father said his name was. What the boys in high school teased him with. Megumi, the boy with the pretty name. The boy with the pretty eyelashes, and the nice ass that everyone wanted to get their hands on. The boy that was mean to everyone and accepted kindness from no one. But worst of all – the boy that no one regarded as such. 

“Right. Sorry.” Stranger tried to play it off with an awkward laugh. Still just as loud, but deeper. “I just meant it’s nice. I like it.” 

Megumi didn’t know if he meant that, but he decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone got it right the first time around, and he couldn’t blame them. It wasn’t their fault if he hadn’t explained it to them yet. 

“That’s alright. But I’m not pretty, so remember that.” 

“Does that mean I’ll have the opportunity to remember it?” 

Megumi clicked his tongue. He set himself up for that one. “What’s your name?” 

“I’m Yuuji.”  

☀️

Megumi hadn’t been on a proper date in close to five years. He had experienced one night flings, bar hookups, and dead end conversations on multiple different apps. But he hadn’t been on a real date. 

One where he got to dress up, feel the excitement of getting ready to go out and have fun. This would be his first time in five whole years. 

And it was so fucking nice. 

He almost said no when Yuuji asked him. Mostly out of stubbornness and not believing he had the time to actually do it. Between his work schedule and his overwhelming desire to stay in most nights, no was the proper answer. 

But — here he was. Sat in front of the mirror with a straightener heated up to four hundred degrees in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. 

Megumi propped the cigarette in between his lips and grabbed a tuft of hair. He pressed the straightener together and the sizzling sound of his hair hummed in his eyes. It wasn’t fully dry yet, but he was running out of time. 

He took a deep drag and exhaled the smoke through his nose. Releasing the straightener should have given results, but as soon as he let the tuft go, it pooled right back into its normal wild, spiked shape. 

“Of fucking course,” he sighed. 

A drink would do him good, but he didn't want to show up to his first date with Yuuji reeking of alcohol and cigarette smoke. He would already have to brush his teeth again and spray more cologne on his wrists and neck. He would just have to suffer through the nerves for now. 

The phone on his lap buzzed and Megumi jerked. The edge of the straightener made contact with his forehead, and he hissed out a curse. 

He prodded the freshly burnt spot, slightly puffy and pink, and frowned. What a lovely thing to happen right before going on a first date. He should cancel. 

The phone buzzed again but this time Megumi didn’t jump. He flicked the cigarette out into the ashtray and set it in the ridge on the edge before grabbing the phone. 

A text from Yuuji. 

I’ll be there in about 15. Can’t wait to see you. 😸

Megumi scoffed, setting the phone back down to finish trying to tame his hair. So far this guy is proving to be cheesy as hell. Hopefully Megumi doesn’t regret this. 

Fifteen minutes later on the dot there was a knock on the door. 

Megumi’s eyes blew wide and he looked at himself in the mirror. Normally when people said they would be there in fifteen minutes, they meant closer to thirty. He thought he still had more time. 

“Damn, damn damn damn,” he cursed as he stood up. 

The straightener fell off the nightstand as Megumi hurried to get everything off his lap. He sighed heavily, and stubbed the cigarette from between his lips into the ashtray. Fifteen minutes sure flew by and he had hardly gotten anything done. Nothing at all, really. 

“Coming!” He called as he threw a robe over himself. He hadn’t even finished getting dressed yet.

How unprepared could someone be for a first date? Was it the nerves? Or maybe it was because he had gotten so used to others being far later than fashionably late. Whatever it was, it made him look like he wasn’t looking forward to the evening.

He opened the door slightly out of breath with a smile. “Hi. Sorry, I was just, uh. I was finishing getting ready. Would you like to come in and wait?” 

Yuuji’s smile stretched across his face, all the way up to his eyes, and he nodded.  “There’s no rush. I made our reservation a little later just in case we needed extra time.” 

Megumi nodded his head quickly and turned to scurry back into his room. “I’m really sorry. I thought I’d be finished but fuck, my hair is not easy to tame.” 

When he rounded the corner of the hall to go back to his room, Megumi smelled the burn before he saw the smoke. It seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. “Shit!” 

Gray smoke lifted from the spot of the carpet where the straightener had fallen down. A soft sizzle sound told Megumi that it was seconds away from bursting into flames. He needed to take care of this quickly. 

The fire extinguisher was in the kitchen, and Megumi hurried back out to grab it. 

“Is everything alright?” Yuuji asked with his brows furrowed. 

“Hm?” Megumi speed-walked back into his room with the small extinguisher in his hand. “Yeah, all good! Just something small. No big deal. My hair straightener caught my carpet on fire. I’ll be ready soon!” 

Yuuji followed where Megumi had just disappeared to and stopped at the doorway to his bedroom. “Do you know how to use that?” 

Megumi waved him off. “Yes, of course I do.” 

No, he didn’t. He had never used one before and it had been years since he had even had any training in how they worked. Stomping it out with his foot should be good. 

“Here.” Yuuji stepped inside the room next to Megumi and grabbed the small extinguisher from him. “I put these things out for a living, remember?” 

Of course Megumi remembered. In the moment though he hadn’t thought about it. There wasn’t even a big flame yet, just a bit of smoke and a red hot patch of material. All a sign that he wouldn’t be getting the security deposit back on this apartment, and that he’s no damn good at multitasking. 

Megumi stood back while Yuuji made sure there wasn’t an actual fire starting, pinching the bridge of his nose. What a horrible start to the evening and they hadn’t even left for dinner yet. Perhaps they were doomed from the start. 

“Thanks,” Megumi said when Yuuji stepped back from the scene of the crime. “I’m real sorry about this; I can just throw something on now and we can go.”  

Yuuji shook his head with that big grin he wore all the time. The one that showed those dimples Megumi thought were cute. Yuuji is cute. All of him, really. 

“That’s alright. I don’t want you to have to rush, so how about we just leave whenever you’re ready and if we miss our reservation then we miss it.”

Megumi frowned. Wasn’t the point of them going out tonight, going out? If they didn’t then could it even be considered a date? 

“If we miss our reservation, doesn’t that cancel our date?” 

Yuuji turned to look at Megumi and that same smile he wore when he answered the door widened. “Who said we couldn’t still have a date? Takeout exists, and I mostly just want to spend time with you. We don’t have to go anywhere for that.” 

For the first time in Megumi’s adult life, something felt genuine. He felt the sincerity behind Yuuji’s words, and believed them. 

And it was one of the best decisions he ever made.