Chapter Text
It was a hot day, the scorching sun was heating everything in its reach, making it impossible to get any type of shelter within the endless street of abandoned houses along Desert End Road, there wasn't any sight of trees or bushes, just infinite dusty sand,Theo thought that one day the desert would swallow everything in its reach including himself.
Theo hated everything about Vegas, the unbearable and blazing heat, the uncomfortable empty silence that he wasn't used to, compared to the constant noise of the restless New York City, The silence would often drive him insane as it left him without any distraction from his persistent thoughts about his mother and the guilt he carried from stealing The Goldfinch.
He missed New York more than anything else in the world, especially the Barbours, and how nice they were to him for the few weeks he stayed in their elegant and quiet apartment,since his alcoholic dad was nowhere to be found at the time of his mother's death, but very unexpectedly showed up one day with his obnoxious girlfriend "Xandra", forcing him to leave everything that made him sane or remotely happy.
Sometimes he thought about running away, from this desertic city, just getting on a bus-any bus, and disappearing. But even that felt pointless. The desert stretched in every direction like it had no end, and the heat made him feel slower, heavier, like his thoughts couldn’t move properly. His father was never home, and when he was, he was loud, drunk, or passed out.
Xandra other than being a drug addict herself, was pretty much irritated by Theo's presence, sometimes she wouldn't even acknowledge his existence if not to ask him to do some type of chores or to take the trash out in the neighbor's dumpster, not like anyone lived there anyway.
Besides being constantly tormented everyday by his soul-crushing thoughts and memories about his lovingmother,and how much he yearned to see her again and live happily together in their little, but comfortable apartment back in New York,Theo had found a somehowhat kind of peace,he couldnt believe it himself-some ngihts were agonizing and even physically impossible to bear,while on certain nights Theo would just fall asleep anywhere: on the couch, floor, bed or even at very edge of the pool,with Xandra's dog, Popper cuddling by his hide or huddled up in Theo's arms.
He couldn't explain it. Perhaps Theo was too tired to make himself miserable on certain nights, or maybe he was just adapting to his new life- not quite but it was like a slow-burning ember,gradually molding his daily routine. Theo was lying down on his messy bed,as he listened to his late mother's favorite band "The Velvet Underground" on his old ipod, every beat, every lyric, remineded him of her, the way she sang those songs to him when he was little, suddenly he felt suffocated by everything around him,his throath closed up and he cuouldnt breathe properly-he couldnt breathe at all, his vision disfigured, his heart thudded in his chest, as if it was trying to escape.
Somewhere in the distance the doorbell rang repeatedly, Xandra's voice pierced through the haze,sharp and irritated-“Theo! Your Russian friend's at the door!“-but it barely registered.It felt like someone else's life, someone else's name.A few seconds later,it creacked open without a warning.Heavy footsteps thudded through the house,and then,without knocking,Boris pushed Theo's bedroom door open.
"Blin, Potter you live like fucking raccoon!"
he muttered,stepping over a pile of clothes and nearly tripping over Popper's water bowl.
Theo didnt move. His back was to the door,curled on the bed, still struggling to breathe.
Boris went quiet for a second. Not because he knew what to say, but because the atmosphere in the room felt wrong.Thicker and too quiet for his liking.
"Potter?" his voice now low.
No response.
Boris crossed the room,a little awkardly,crouched beside the bed,and saw Theo's pale and sweaty face,his pupils too wide.
"Oh"
he breathed heavily.
"Your doing that thing again".
He sat down next to him,Theo's ragged breathing filled the room with an undescribable agony.
"Why do you keep doing this, Potter?
He said, his voice taking a sharp turn.
"You want to die or what?"
Boris than lit up a cigarette, the sound of the lighter made Theo slightly flinch. Boris took two long drags and passed it to the other boy, with shivering hands,Theo took the cigarette and slowly breathed in the smoke. The boy started to calm down, his head stopped spinning, he stopped shaking like a leaf and his breathing started to become more steady.