Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cookie looked at the apartment where his best friend and crush of 3 years waited. He saw him in the window and he waved at him and his heart started beating to fast. he opened the door

“Hey silly get in!” He said and hen gulped and pulled his luggage into the house.

Schmitty hugged him

“I’ve been so lonely since [REDACTED] went missing in afganistan.”

“That’s so brace of him. He loved you.’

Schmitty stared at him for a minute

“Yeah… Let’s get you settled in!” And then he helped him to his room. “It’s a one bedroom place so you’ll have to share a room with me.” He smiled at him.

“It’ll be like a sleepover!”

“Totally!” Then there was a knock at the door and Cookie followed Schmitty to the door where they found a girl with long brown hair and big purple eyes waving.

“Hi?” Said schmitty.

“Hi” she said flipping her hair back revealing her badass studded belt around her black jeans and black top that had sleeves to her middle arm and skull earrings and black makeup.

“I’m your neighbor Baby Diva!” She said happily.

They both shook her hands.

“If you need anything come on over!” She said and then left.

“She was nice.” Said Cookie.

“And pretty cute.” Said schmitty

And Cookie felt a pain in his heart. Was schmitty totally straight? He always wondered if he was bi because of how he flirted with him sometimes on skype.

He didn’t know if he would tell him he is gay and is in love with him.

Then schmitty gave him a sweet smile and he felt warm again.

Chapter Text

Schmitty made a drink for him and Cookie and sat at the couch and drank beer. They turned on a movie and watched some funny tv shows and drank all nights until it was 7 am the next morning.

Schmitty pointed at the rising sun

“Hey Cookie look” he laughed drunk. Cookie stumbled over but tripped and fell right into schmittys arms!! Suddenly they were starting in each other’s eyes. There faces started itching closer and closer when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Schmitty blushed and let go of the embrace and went to the door.

“Hello?” He asked as he opened the door. Then there were two guys in black ski masks and they grabbed schmitty and threw him down the apartment stairs and ran off. They kidnapped him!!!!

Cookie tried to run after their white van but couldn’t run as fast as a car. He called the cops and cried in the apartment. Then suddenly he got a message on binjtube that said

“If you want to see him alive again make a video about 10 reasons why Nate Shapiro and Guy Towers are awesome and ur wrong” he gasped. …

Chapter Text

There was a knock at the door. Cookie went over to it and gasped.

Guy Towers!!!

—------------------------------

Meanwhile somewhere in coastal rica.

Schmitty had a bag on his head and he was punched hard.

“Let me go!!! I never got to tell Cookie I love him!!!”

“Well in that case….”

Then he was shoved into a van and they started driving….

—------------------------------

Cookie made tea for Guy and him and guy looked at him sweetly.

“I’m so sorry. The jackbox games will help you find him.”

“I almost kissed him before he………”

“It’s ok” he touched his hand. They looked sweet at each other.

“I’m always here for you…..”

Guy leaned in and kissed Cookie lightly on the lips and in a moment of desire and desperate he pulled Guy close and kissed him harder. They started making out and Guy got on Cookie and started rubbing on him. They made out and wiggled around the couch until Cookie broke away.

“I can’t…….schmitty……..”

“Oh……..but he was a loser?”

“Go Guy go away”

And he grunted and left mad.

Cookie went to his room to cry.

Chapter Text

The door slowly opened and schmitty limped into the apartment and fell on the floor.

“Cookie!” He said horsely.

Cookie stopped crying and ran out and gasped.

“Schmitty!!!” And he ran to pick him up and help him stand.

Schmitty grabbed him and hugged him tight and sudden…..his lips started touching his and they kissed. There tongues meshed and their lips intwined and they made out right there. When they stopped they smiled at each other.

“Be my boyfriend?” Said Cookie.

“Yes.” And they smiled and kissed again.

“But I have to tell you schmitty….before you came back guy was here and…and…and we made out.”

“Guy Towers?!” He roared.

“I’m sorry…..” Schmitty started crying and ran down the stairs.

Then Baby Diva looked schmittys way that he was running and then came in. Cookie was crying and told her what was going on.

“You should do something romantic to show your story and that he is your one and only!”

“Your right!” He wiped the tears off and baby diva grabbed a camera and started recording.

Cookie looked soully to the camera with love in his eyes.

“Hi jackheads today I finally told schmitty I love him like I said I would. But before that someone else came over and I kissed them. I love you schmitty and it will never happen again. You are my light and joy and I would be proud to be….be your husband.” He said softly. Then baby diva whipped a tear from her face and sniffled and turned off the camera.

“That was amazing I’m sure he will say yes. It’s true love!” She said.

—------

Chapter Text

warning: suicide and sex scene

Meanwhile in chigaco schmitty was at a sushi restaurant when someone sat beside him.

“schmitty schmitstinstein?” He said. He looked up.

“Nate Shapiro?!” He almost flinched.

“Yeah I heard you and Cookie had a rough thing happen. Then he posted this…” And he pulled out his phone and went to a video and opened it to let him watch.

Cookie was looking at the camera intense and started talking.

“Today I finally told schmitty it will never happen again. Never kiss him again. I am with someone else.” And then there was a sniffled sound and someone was behind the camera?!

Schmitty started to cry silently but tried to look together.

“Let me buy you a drink.” And Nate ordered sake (an asian drink).

They started drinking and talking and laughing and having a good time.

“Maybe I was wrong about you Nate.” Said Schmitty.

Nate put his arm around him confrotingly.

“Of course baby!”

They both drunkenly left the bar and stumbled to the hotel room nate was staying in. Nate started kissing him and bushing him to the bed and they made out there. Then they started doing it. But schmitty didn’t know about the camera!!! It was being live streamed!!!

—------------------------------

“I love you Nate!!!!” Cried schmitty on the stream. Cookie and Baby Diva watched shocked and dumb founded as they watched. Baby Diva looked at Cookie then black at the video.

“H-how could he?!” Cakie stromed around the house. Baby Diva tried to call him down. But cookie opened the window….AND JUMPED Baby Diva screamed and called 011.

Chapter Text

Schmitty woke up with a hangover and threw up. Then he heard his phone ring and he picked it up. It was baby diva yelling I to the phone and calling him shit for what he did to Cookie.

“What?” Said schmitty. “he said he found someone else?”

“What?! No he didn’t. I’m sending you the cideo he made for you.” Then she hung up and he got the notification for it. He opened it and his lover spoke words of love right from the heart. He spun around and glared at Nate.

“You liar!!!” He screamed. Then he threw his phone at Nate and ran out.

—---------

Meanwhile in the suicide hospital….

Cookie was sitting in a chair watching a TV show when a nurse said “you have a guest”. He expected Baby Diva again with some McDonald’s or something but instead….schmitty.

He flinched.

“what do you want traitor” he hissed at him.

“Nate lied to me. He made me think you moved on and I slept with him…”

“Are we even? Can we be together?”

“If you can forgive me.”

“I do. Forgive me?”

“Yes.”

Then they embraced and kissed. Cookie pulled away and knelt down and pulled a box out.

“I was going to do this somewhere better but…will you marry me?”

Schmitty cried happy tears and nodded and they made out again.

“Let’s get you outta here!” Said schmitty and they left holding hands.

Chapter Text

Cookie got out of bed where his fiance was sleeping and he went I to the bathroom. Then he spotted something in the sink that he guessed schmitty forgot. He picked it out of the sink and looked. It had two lines and was…a pregnancy test.

He busted out of the bathroom

“S-schmitty?” He said and schmitty sleepily got up and then gawked at what was in his hand

“I-i…”

“What is this?! Are you…..”

He looked down ashamed.

“I am going to the doctor tomorrow to check…please…go with me…they can do a test…”

He gulped.

“Ok. In the morning.”

—------------------------------

They waited in the office of the Dr office untill they called Schmittys name.

They went in and the Dr came into the checkup room they were in.

“Are you his husband?” Asked the doctor.

Cookie nodded.

“Well we have to test his pee so if you’d step outside…”

And he did and went back in after the doctor came out with a cup of pee to test it. He sat next to schmitty and helped his hand.

The doctor came back and stared at his chart.

“Well Mr schmitstinstein… you are pregnant. And Mr Masterson isn’t the father…”

They both dropped there jaws…..

To be continue

Chapter Text

It was a hot July day and the concert hall was decked in white everywhere. Schmitty and Cookie invited there fans for free to see there wedding but so many wanted to come that they had to get a concert hall. There was a preacher and a pretty white arch and music playing and food outside.

In the room with schmitty he was putting on his white suit and brushing his hair. He got a knock at the door and someone popped in.

It was the jackhead and binjpipe!

“You Don’t Know Jack: Full Stream!!” He said and they went over to hug him.

“I’m so excited for you!” Said bunjpipe.

“Thanks. Jackhead…will you walk me down the isle? My dad doesn’t accept I’m gay and won’t do it.” He started to cry a little. The Jackhead hugged him “Of course buddy” and he out out his arm and he looked it and they walked slowly out. They stood at the start of the red carpet that went to the arch and schmitty laughed nervous and the jackhead Pat his arm and they started walking as the wedding song started playing. The fans went crazy and clapped and they stopped at the preacher and stood by him and waited.

They looked at the entrance and waited for Cookie…first baby diva came out to be bridesmaid and M. bubbles did to. They looked so pretty.

Then…..mayonnaise came out with Cookie on his arm. They both smiled and Cookie blushed wearing his baby blue tux. Schmitty started crying because he loved him so much.

The music kept playing and M. bubbles dogs were in front of them with little rose petals baskets in there mouths and petals flew everywhere as they ran up the isle.

Cookie stood across him and they looked at each other with Misty eyes.

The prest smiled at them both and started talking.

“Schmitty schmitstinstein do you take Cookie Masterson to be your husband to hold and love forever as long as you both live?”

Schmitty nodded

“Yes I do”

“And Cookie Masterson do you take schmitty schmitstinstein to be your husband to love and cherish for as long as you live?”

“I do!” Said Cookie.

The fans all looked so happy and crying and Baby Diva and m. bubbles and The Jackhead and binjpipe and mayonnaise all cried happily too.

“If anyone thinks these two should not be married speak now!”

And the room got quiet and nobody breathed.

Then someone stood up from the crowd and jumped on stage. It was Guy!!!!!

“Guy towers?!” Cookie said.

“Yes! I don’t think they should get married! He’s carrying my baby!!” He shouted and the whole room gasped.

Schmitty started crying and wished he was somewhere else.

Nate shapiro fans started screaming for Guy and schmitty to get married. Then The Jackhead started going in to Guy to push him away from the stage. Then suddenly fights started breaking out with all the fans and schmitty and Cookie ran away and the others escorted them. They all got to the limo and drove off fast.

To be continued

Chapter Text

“cookie! Schmitty! Come out here!”

The Jackhead and binjpipe and M. Bubbles and Baby Diva and Mayonnaise were outside the cabin they were staying in til everything blew over. Cookie looked out the window and gasped.

Outside there was a big tellise with roses and lots of food on a table and music started playing. There was balloons and everyone was wearing dressed up.

No way! They went outside.

“What is this?!” They both asked blushing.

“We felt bad about what happened so we made you a nice private wedding with just us.” Said Baby Diva with a big smiled.

They all hugged and The Jackhead said “I can marry you I do jewish weddings but it can still count for you.” He said.

Then Cookie put out his hand and schmitty took it.

“Shall we?”

He nodded and took his hand. He led him to the roses and The Jackhead stood in btween them.

“Now, schmitty schmitstinstein do you take Cookie Masterson to be your husband? Will you love and cherish him in sickness and health?”

“I do” he said softly.

“And Cookie Masterson do you take schmitty schmitstinstein to be your lovely husband through poor and riches? For as long as you both live?”

“Yes I do” said schmitty back.

The Jackhead smiled.

“First….schmitty….”

“Yes babe?”

“I want you to know….I want to adopt the baby.”

Schmitty had happy hears in his eyes and The Jackhead said “I now pronouns you man and husband”

And they fell Into a kiss.

The end