Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Simon’s whole body was shaking when he gasped awake—heart pounding in his chest. His breathing echoed off the walls of the—where was he? Wherever he was, he was lying on his stomach, the ground cold beneath him. It definitely wasn’t the last place he remembered being. That had been the Grab and Bag. It was still hazy, the last thing he remembered—

He scrambled up, running both hands over his head, still matted with blood but entirely whole. Then—Kate. Stomach churning, he gagged, doubling over and dry heaving. He was never eating fucking bread again. After Kate. After Kate had been—

Killed. Shoved through the bread slicer. It was all coming back now, Sarah Fier, Sam, Deena, and Josh. And Simon. Simon was pretty sure he was dead. Why the fuck he was in a cave? Were there even caves in Ohio? There was also the faint smell of—pretzels?

“Kate,” Simon’s voice broke and echoed off the walls. Then a rustling.

“Simon?” It sounded just like Kate. He whirled around and shuffled forward in the inky blackness toward the voice.

“Kate, Kate!”

They collided somewhere in the middle, Kate sobbing and gasping as Simon pulled her into his arms. If this was death, so be it. That split moment seeing her body in the bread slicer was the worst moment in his life. He never wanted to be without her again.

“Are we dead?” Simon asked, his voice muffled by her hair.

Kate stepped back and a moment later, a lighter clicked on. From the flickering yellow light, she looked whole, except for the dried blood running down her face.

“Somehow, I don’t think so,” Kate said.

“You guys too, huh?”

Simon met Kate’s wide eyes, and they turned in unison. Slowly, she held out the lighter. It was Ryan fucking Torez. Behind him, Heather Watkins shivering in her bloodstained dress.

“Holy Sh—”

“—Shit.” Ziggy said. “That’s a really green cast.”

“Thanks,” The kid—Josh smiled at her from his hospital bed. “It was the coolest color they had.”

“Hell yeah it is,” Martin said. He squeezed her shoulder before moving past her. “You have a sharpie dude?”

Martin pulled a plastic chair closer to the bed and took the sharpie from Josh. Deena’s girlfriend Sam was in the next bed over, separated by a yellow plastic curtain. Deena was out on a food run. The hospital vending machine was apparently out of order. Ziggy pulled the curtain back to the wall, combining the rooms.

Back at the mall, the police questioned them for what felt like forever. Deena and Sam finally came out of the tunnels, and they only just put together a cohesive cover story when what remained of the police force showed up. In a few days, the public would find out that Nick Goode had been the actual killer all along, they might even pin the Nightwing Massacre on him as well.

She still wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole thing.

“Hey kid,” Ziggy said to Sam. “How are you feeling?”

She crossed her arms, uncrossed them, before crossing them again. It was a little awkward, knowing that not even a day ago she had basically told the kids that Sam was a lost cause. Now here she was having a conversation with her that didn’t include rabid snarling.

“Better,” Sam shrugged and even smiled a bit. “They want me to stay overnight. They were a little worried about the head trauma at first, but the doctor thinks I should be fine.”

Ziggy let out a breath and the tension in her shoulders receded a little. “Good. I’m glad.”

“And—um—Deena told me you knew Sheriff Goode.” Sam said, looking down and picking at her fingernails. “That must have been hard, finding out he was an asshole. I’m sorry.”

Maybe the Nick she thought she knew had died at Nightwing. Just like a piece of her had died with Cindy.

“I guess he’s not who I thought he was,” She shrugged and then hesitated. “And… I’m sorry for thinking you were a lost cause.”

Sam shrugged, “I get it, I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

“Deena didn’t, and she was right,” Ziggy said, because she believed in young fucking love. “She believed she could get you back from the start. She really loves you.”

Sam looked down at her hands, blushing, and a smile tugging at her lips. It was cute, young love, she thought, and then suddenly thought about Nick. The way he looked that summer, his mop of black hair, his smile. He had confided in her that night about how he felt being the heir of Sunnyvale. The last thought made her stomach twist.

Maybe she never really knew him at all.

“Okay,” Simon breathed, staring at the two people in front of him. He was definitely not panicking. “What the fuck is going on? Are we all dead? Wait, is this heaven?”

He looked at Kate, mostly to make sure she was still there, then looked back at Ryan who was hunched in on himself. He looked small in his black baggy costume and the bullet hole that was supposed to be in his head was gone. Before Ryan graduated they used to smoke weed behind the cafeteria at lunch.

“We’re not dead,” Kate said, shaking her head slowly. She turned and stared hard at Ryan,“What do you remember?”

“There was…this voice calling me and then,” He paused, eyes wide. He seemed terrified, nothing like the laid back guy Simon remembered. “I was waking up here.”

Simon shared a disbelieving look with Kate. He didn’t totally believe that Ryan didn’t remember anything, but what did he know.

“Listen, whatever Josh and Deena did—it worked. They broke the curse. Do you know what that means?” Kate said, and she looked at Ryan. “We all came back to life.”

The revelation fell heavy between all of them.

Heather shook her head and her voice rose in pitch, “This is crazy, you know that right? You’re saying we came back to life after being murdered!”

“I mean your friend suddenly went crazy and murdered seven people, but coming back to life is a step too far?” Simon asked. They all ignored him.

“I didn’t wanna kill you,” Ryan said, reaching out to grasp Heather’s shoulder, but she shrank back. “You have to believe me.”

She gave them all a weary look and turned away from them.

“We believe you man,” Simon said, after a beat of silence, slapping Ryan on the shoulder.

“It was Sarah Fier,” Kate said, “The curse is real. Or was. We think our friends broke it. How else would it explain all of this?” She gestured to them and the cave.

“She’s right, earlier today this hot dead chick almost killed me, and then I was—uh actually killed by the Camp Nightwing Killer.” Simon said. “Also her boyfriend knows everything about Sarah Fier.” Simon jerked as Kate punched his upper arm, he laughed at the sting.

“What he means to say is that it’s not your fault.” Kate said, rolling her eyes. Ryan nodded, although he looked not at all reassured by her statement. She glanced back toward Simon.

“Alright, let’s find a way out of here.”

They quickly discover that they’re not the only ones who have come back to life.

In trying to find a way out (and getting turned around a few times) Kate ended up taking the lead, walking with the lighter held out in front of her. Every sound seemed to bounce and echo off the walls, Simon even swore he could faintly hear whispering. Finally, they came across a dull yellow light shining as they rounded a bend in the cave.

Kate motioned for everyone to stop and let the lighter go out, creeping forward as she peered around the jutting rock. Simon followed her and looked over her head. There were twelve more people in the cave. Mostly between Simon’s age and younger—way younger. A small group of bloody children were sitting on the cave floor, some crying and some of them silently staring into the distance. A teenage boy with a mass of curly hair and dried blood around his neck was talking to them quietly. Other older teenagers were sitting on the floor, one of them was wearing a familiar-looking jacket.

Two of the older teenagers around Simon’s age were arguing. A red-headed girl with a bloody t-shirt and a girl with short-brown hair.

“This is crazy! Look, Gary's head is attached to his body!”

Gary, still comforting crying children, shot them an unimpressed look.

“Oh yeah,” The short-haired girl said sarcastically. “Because a century’s long curse is totally normal. Face it. We have come back to life.”

Camp Nightwing. C. Berman.

Jesus. So these were the Camp Nightwing kids. Josh, Deena, and Sam really had done it.

The two girls who were arguing introduce themselves as Cindy and Alice. Both of the girls had dried blood caked to their shirts. The other campers were in similar states of disarray. It wasn’t very hard to tell how everyone had died. The dried blood sort of gave it away.

“Did you come across anyone else? My sister was with me when we—” She stopped, her throat working as she took a steading breath.

He shrugged and glanced at Kate but she was staring at an Asian girl who was younger than both of them. Shit. Her Aunt was killed at Nightwing wasn’t she? He held her hand and gave it a squeeze. Heather and Ryan shook their heads.

“We didn’t see anyone else,” Heather said, after a pause. “Sorry.”

Cindy looked crushed, taking a step back and collapsing on the ground next to the two guys. “She was with me. We died together,” She said, more to herself than anyone else.

“Wait—These guys weren't at camp with us. I took attendance like so many times,” Gary stood up in front of the children, pointing his flashlight at them. “Where’d you come from?”

Kate gave Simon a wide-eyed look, “Well, that’s a little complicated.”

“Three guesses Gary,” Alice said. She smirked as she swept the flashlight from Gary to them.

“The last thing I remember is getting chopped in half by Tommy over there,” She jerked her head to a short-haired blond. “No one could survive that. My guess? We’re not in 1978 anymore.”

She arched an eyebrow, turning toward Simon and Kate, “Right?”

Simon glanced at Kate, who shrugged. Great. He had to be the one to break the bad news. “Yeah, It’s um actually 1994?”

A shocked silence filled the cave.

“I knew it,” Alice said.

Cindy scrambled up, “I’m sorry, you’re saying it's 1990—what now?” She said, a touch hysterical. “That’s not possible.”

“Look around you,” Alice rolled her eyes. “Arnie is alive after your boyfriend put an ax through his fucking face. I think we’ve established that anything's possible.”

Arnie shrugged and patted his friend's shoulder, “No hard feelings dude.”

“Wait—you're the Camp Nightwing killer?” Simon asked, pointing at Jacket Guy, who looked down and away from them. So that’s why he looked familiar. He wasn’t bad looking either.

“Tommy,” He said, not looking up at them. “My name.”

Simon blinked. “Oh, um sorry?”

Kate rolled her eyes, “As enlightening as this is. Do you guys know a way out of here?”

“You’re in luck,” Alice shared a look with Cindy. “You came to the right place.”

“Okay,” Alice said sometime later, looking up at the Neon store fronts. “This isn’t where I thought we’d end up.”

“Jesus,” Simon looked around at the dried blood on the floor, ropes that were strung up everywhere, and were those water guns? “What the fuck happened here?”

The group had grown in size to about fifty-something children and adults. All dazed and looking around in wonderment. Apparently some kids were from the sixteenfuckinghundreds, which wow. That hurt his brain to think about.

They hear the security guard before they see him. Simon whirled around and suddenly wished he had some weapons.

“Hey! What are you kids—” The security guard froze at the sight of bloody and bedraggled kids standing in the Shadyside Mall.

“Christ,” The guard murmured, staring at them in amazement. He reached for his radio.“We might have an issue here at the Mall. Again.”

Deena practically sprinted into the room, breathless.

“Did you guys see the news?” She asked.

Ziggy whirled around at Deena’s sudden entrance, her heart jumped to her throat. “What’s happened?”

Deena went over to the TV in the corner and flipped it on. After a moment or two the fuzzy picture came into view.

“Breaking News coming out of Shadyside today,” A Newswoman said. “A shocking scene at the Shadyside Mall. According to reports on the scene, the dead have seemingly come back to life—”

“What—” Ziggy stopped and swallowed the lump out of her throat.“What does that mean?”

“They’re alive?” Josh asked, leaning forward in the bed. “Kate and Simon are—”

“Alive,” Deena confirmed, tears in her eyes.

“Everyone’s alive.”

Chapter Text

The hospital was in chaos.

Ziggy pushed her way through the hallway. Baffled doctors and nurses rushed through the halls, weeping mothers and fathers crowded the waiting room. The two nurses who had been killed immediately jumped into the fray. Most injuries healed over in ‘The Awakening’ (as people started to call it), so it was the Pilgrim children who were seen first and then worried parents who wanted their children looked at. Most of the campers and the people killed at the mall were picked up by family members.

No one quite knew what to do with the killers (and she hesitated to use that word), they were let go by the police when it became clear about Nick’s role in the murders. Most of them reunited with their families. Her thoughts went to Mary, who was among the first at the hospital and the tearful reunion between mother and daughter. Mary caught her eye in the hallways and she sent Ziggy a knowing look over Ruby’s head.

And Ziggy. Ziggy procrastinated.

She stuck around and watched the kids reunite with their friends. Kate immediately went to Josh’s side and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. Simon took the sharpie from Martin and added his name to Josh’s cast. Deena and Sam cuddled together in the bed.

Eventually she slipped out of the room, feeling a little like she overstayed her welcome.

Now here she was, standing in the waiting room. Alice and Cindy huddled together in the back of the room. She pressed a hand to her mouth. Cindy looked exactly as she did 16 years ago. And Alice, she seemed so badass to Ziggy as a kid. But looking at her now, eyeliner smudged under her eyes, she looked so young. They both did.

Her feet carried her forward without realizing it, “Cindy.”

Cindy looked up and her eyes widened as she took in Ziggy’s appearance: her limp red hair, and yellow cardigan that slipped down her shoulders.

“Ziggy you’re—”

Ziggy pulled her into a gripping embrace, she felt solid in her arms. It was all the evidence that she needed. Her shoulder shook with sobs as she hugged Cindy for the first time in sixteen years.

“So this whole time it wasn’t Sarah Fier?” Kate asked. She was in the small adjoining bathroom, scrubbing at the dried blood with a wet washcloth. Simon was doodling on Josh’s cast and from his vantage point he could see her reflection in the mirror.

Deena nodded. She was laying in Sam’s hospital bed, their fingers laced together. It was crazy to think that just a day or so ago they had broken up. Now, they seemed inseparable.

“It was a Goode ancestor, Solomon, who started it. Sarah was the scapegoat. She wanted the truth to come out and it did.”

“And you know this because you reunited her hand with her body and basically got a vision?” Martin asked, leaning forward in the vinyl chair, elbows on his knees. “Damn, you know that actually makes a lot of sense.”

“I always knew Sheriff Goode sucked,” Simon said, capping the marker. “I didn’t buy his good cop act for a moment.” Deena already filled them in on Goode throwing Kate and him under the bus. Which, wow.

“Ziggy did,” Sam said, quietly. She put her head on Deena’s shoulder, their hands twisted together. “I feel so bad for her. The news is already speculating that he’s involved.”

“Which he was,” Simon pointed out. “I mean it was his family's curse. You think they’ll throw him under the bus?”

“It is an election year. So, definitely.” Martin said.

“Ziggy. That’s C. Berman right? Cindy’s sister.” Kate asked, scrubbing hard at a red spot on her neck.

“She helped break the curse,” Deena said. “She got her sister back though. I mean it doesn’t compare, but I think that’s the thing she cares most about.”

Simon met Kate’s eyes in the mirror. She grimaced. He wasn’t sure if they should be glad or not that they missed the mall fight and everything to do with Ziggy, who seemed nice and everything, if a little standoffish. Which was understandable, considering the rundown they got from Cindy about Camp Nightwing. He was gonna have nightmares about the stupid bread slicer for life.

“Do you think Sarah Fier had something to do with everyone coming back to life?” Josh asked.

Simon looked at Deena; Kate came out of the bathroom and leaned against the wall, her face scrubbed clean. He thought about his mom. Did she know he was alive? Had she even cared that he was dead?

“I really do,” Deena said, smiling.“I mean what else would explain this?”

“Just really great luck?” Martin asked, only half-serious.

“I don’t think luck has anything to do with it,” Deena said. “Could luck cause people to come back from the dead?”

“And you know this because of your freaky connection to Sarah Fier?” Simon teased.

“Yeah,” Deena said, rolling her eyes. “Because of my freaky connection to Sarah Fier.”

“So the curse is really gone then? No more Shadyside bad luck?” Kate asked, sitting on the end of Josh’s bed. They shared a shy smile. Simon smothered a grin, he was so going to tease Kate about that later.

“We saw a car accident in Sunnyvale. When was the last time that happened?” Deena said.

Josh shrugged, “Well, never as far as I know,”

“I wonder what will change?” Sam mused. “I mean now that the curse is gone.”

It all seemed a little too good to be true, although he didn’t voice that out loud. He could do something else after high school, he didn’t have to deal drugs or work at the Grab and Bag for the rest of his life. Weird.

“Well, until I get into college, I’ll believe it when I see it.” Kate said, standing up. “I have to get back before Mom freaks, she was having my aunt checked out before we left. Need a ride Simon?”

“God yes,” He said, standing and giving Josh a fist bump as they left. He might not even have his job at the Grab and Bag anymore. Damn he liked that job. He was an employee of the month for twelve consecutive months. You don’t put that kinda work in for a job you hate.

In the waiting room, he watched as Kate’s mom introduced her to her aunt for the first time. He stuffed his hands in the coat Kate’s mom had given him. The women’s sweater he grabbed in the school’s lost and found was stylish, but not exactly warm.

“Simon?”

Mom was standing in the sliding doors. She rushed forward and pulled him into a hug, her fingers clenched around the jacket fabric, smelling like cigarettes and lemon cleaner. She cleaned houses for the rich fucks in Sunnyvale for criminally low pay. Which left Simon to juggle High School with a full-time job to pay the bills.

She ran a hand through his hair, still slightly matted with blood. “Oh my baby,” she murmured. He stood there for a moment, shocked, before hugging back, burying his face in her shoulder and for the moment didn’t care who saw them. “I’m so glad you're alright.”

“We didn’t do those things they said we did—”

“I know,” She said, pulling away, tears in her eyes. “I’m just glad you’re alive. I was cleaning a house when I saw the news and I rushed all the way over here.”

She pulled him in for a hug again. Across the room his eyes met Tommy’s, who was sitting alone in the corner of the waiting room, like he had been forgotten about. Shit.

Simon pulled back, “Mom, do you think we have room for a guest?”

The drive home is exactly as awkward as Ziggy thought it would be. Cindy had lots of questions that she answered with varying degrees of awkwardness depending on the topic. Mom died of cancer in her sophomore year of college, Dad lived states away with his second wife and perfect family and has not talked to her in 16 years (the why goes unsaid between them). She talked a bit about her career or lack thereof since the most she’s done in her adult life is try to spend as little time outside as possible.

Ziggy drove through McDonald's and realized halfway through ordering that she didn’t remember what Cindy’s usually got. Her throat burned, and she wanted to cry a little, but she swallowed it down. Cindy was still wearing her stained polo shirt. She would’ve stopped somewhere for clean clothes but the mall was closed for obvious reasons. She was aware that she was compartmentalizing, storing away big feelings until it bit her in the ass later.

At home, Ziggy unlocked the door, Major Tom pouncing on her as she came through.

“Major, down,” She said, firmly, as Cindy hovered in the doorway. “He’s excitable. He really won’t hurt you.”

Cindy stood in the doorway and stared at the room, cataloging any visible changes. She jumped a little as Ziggy locked the door.

“What are all those locks for?” She asked.

“Safety,” Ziggy said, and left it at that. She would lay down safety rules later. “Your room’s the same. I haven’t touched anything.”

Cindy eyed all the clocks that lined the cabinet and table, but said nothing. Ziggy lived in the house they grew up in. It still looked the same, mostly because she could never bring herself to make any big changes. Cindy’s room looked exactly as it did the day they went off the summer camp. The door was kept locked, but whenever she was having a bad day she’d let herself in and buried her face in Cindy’s pink pillows. If she thought very hard, they almost smelled like her.

For a moment they stood there like that, Cindy looking slowly though the house and Ziggy watching her.

“This is very weird,” Cindy admitted. She collapsed on the couch. “I mean yesterday I was—” She stopped and took a breath. “And now you’re all grown up.”

Ziggy hesitated, not entirely sure what to do, after a moment she sat beside her.

“At least you skipped the last 16 years,” Ziggy said, half-joking. “I had to live through it.”

Cindy laughed and wiped her eyes, “Now I know you're really Ziggy.”

“You had doubts?”

Cindy shrugged, “I thought I was dreaming, or this was the afterlife.”

Ziggy pulled her into another hug, laid her palms flat on Cindy’s back. She was warm. “Nothing will ever pull us apart.”

Cindy laughed wetly, “Never again.”

Never again, Ziggy thought. This time she meant it.

Simon breathed a sigh of relief as he collapsed face first onto his bed. His room was exactly like he’d left it.

“Why are you letting me stay here?”

Simon lifted his head off his pillow. Tommy was leaning against the doorway, his Camp Nightwing t-shirt and jeans covered with dried blood and he had shed the jacket as soon as he could.

“Actually, my Mom is letting you stay here, I just had the idea.”

Tommy crossed his arms and said nothing.

Simon sat up, “Seriously dude, it’s cool. Here—” He got up and sat at his desk, rolling his chair around. “Sit down.”

Reluctantly, Tommy sat on the edge of the bed. “I killed you. And you're letting me stay with you.”

“Because I get it,” Simon said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He could be tactful when it was needed. “It’s not the same or anything but Sheriff Douchebag pinned murders on me and Kate that we didn’t do. Plus, we’re both Shadysider’s, and Shadysider’s have to stick together.”

Tommy blinked and looked somewhat touched, “Thanks man.” He paused, looking like he wanted to say something. “Cindy wouldn't talk to me.”

Simon wasn't sure what to say. “Sorry man. I'm sure she'll come around.”

He looked almost pitiful. This man needed a distraction. Simon whirled around and grabbed something from his desk.

“How do you feel about nail polish?”

Deena knocked lightly on the door frame.

“Doctor said we can leave,” She said to Josh. “You ready?”

He was already swinging his legs over the bed, “So ready.” Martin was the last one to leave an hour ago and it was mind numbingly boring waiting around to get discharged. Deena understood why, although she didn’t like it, coming back from the dead was bound to be stressful on everyone involved, including overworked hospital staff.

She turned to Sam, lacing their fingers together, “How are you feeling?”

Sam shrugged. She looked tired, but her face had a healthy pink to it, better than after the car accident when her face had almost no-color.

“Better. Mom’s pissed that I’m here again but I think she believed the story about Goode.”

Right. The story they were going with was that Nick Goode was behind the Mall, Hospital, and Grab and Bag killings, and then tried to kill Deena and Sam, which really wasn’t too far from the truth when you thought about it. It was a cover Deena and Ziggy had quickly come up with and one the police were quick to run with.

Deena was just glad this whole mess was over. “Fuck her,” She said, no actual heat to it. “You survived getting possessed, she should totally get off your back.”

Sam rolled her eyes, fondly. “Yeah, she’ll totally believe that.”

Deena sat down on the edge of the bed, running a thumb over Sam’s knuckle. “If I don’t see you tomorrow, meet me Monday before school at where Sarah Fier’s buried—and don’t eat breakfast.”

“Okay,” Sam smiled, it was a bright smile that made Deena’s stomach flip. The breakup seemed so silly now after the past two days of hell. Sam had literally come back to life. They could get out of Shadyside together, college, and a shared apartment. She could almost see it, her whole life with Sam laid out in front of her. It seemed so reachable now, tangible. It hurt how much she wanted it.

“What?” Sam asked, still smiling.

Deena shook her head, “Nothing, it just,” She stopped, and felt her face warming. “I love you.”

Sam’s face went red, “I’m all like, covered in blood,” She hid her burning face with her other hand, smiling. “Some of this might even be Sheriff Goode’s blood.”

“I think it’s sexy,” Deena laughed, squeezing her hand. There was a very warm feeling in her chest that had been missing for a while. “Very final girl of you.”

“I love you too,” Sam said, smiling wide.

Chapter Text

Cindy squinted as she stepped out into the sun.

“Jesus, that was boring. Why did we need to take a fucking placement test, anyway?” Alice said, stepping beside her on the sidewalk. They moved out of the way of the doors, as students spilled out of the school, and leaned up against the brick wall. The sun beat down on them from the highest point in the sky.

Cindy shrugged, glancing around for Ziggy’s car. “Curriculum’s probably changed in the last sixteen years.”

“I mean we were already seniors. I just don’t understand what the point is,” Alice groaned. “Maybe they’ll let us graduate early.”

Cindy shrugged, despite what school officials said, that they would work with the city to get their death certificate reversed. Her dream of college felt farther away than ever. Even if she wanted to go to college, it would be wrong to leave Ziggy behind.

“Babe!”

Arnie pushed his way through the crowd, grinning as he came up to them. He slid a hand around Alice’s waist and pulled her into a kiss. She smiled into the kiss, arching her back. Cindy looked away, an uncomfortable feeling twisting in her stomach. It reminded her a bit of Tommy, who she had successfully avoided during the last three days. It was wrong to ignore him at the hospital, but she couldn’t quite look at him yet. Everything had been so recent and not recent at the same time. Seeing Tommy kill Arnie and Alice, and then the phantom pain of an ax in her chest. She knew it wasn’t Tommy’s fault, but she also knew they couldn’t come back from that. During the test she could feel his eyes on her. Cindy didn’t have the courage to look back.

Arnie pulled away, breathless, “I fucking aced that test.”

“Same,” Alice grinned. “Cindy too. You two wanna come to mine? Simon sells great weed.”

“God yes,” Arnie leaned up against the brick wall. “Mom’s been so clingy. I think I missed it when she didn’t give a fuck about what I was up to.”

Alice turned to her, “What do you think? You in?” She sent her a teasing grin.

Arnie looked curiously between them. Right. By the time he died her and Alice were still sniping at each other. It was actually nice having Alice back in her life, she didn’t realize what she had been missing until Alice was gone.

“I don’t know…” Cindy hesitated. “Ziggy said she was going to pick me up.”

Alice rolled her eyes, “Oh, come on, live a little. You came back to life. I think that at least calls for celebration.”

A little ways away, Tommy was standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets. He was standing with Simon and Kate; they were in some sort of conversation, but he was looking at her. Their eyes locked before she could look away. The hot, guilty feeling was back and pulsing in her stomach. She wasn’t ready yet.

“You know?” Cindy said, hoping she didn’t look too desperate. “Sure why not. Let’s smoke some weed.”

Alice and Arnie broke into laughter. “You’re such a goodie-two-shoes,” Alice said, holding her side. “Fuck it, let’s smoke some weed.”

Cindy rolled her eyes, face going red. There was a giddy feeling rising in her chest and it stayed there during the ride to Alice’s house. The sun on her face. Wind in her hair.

After Alice died her mom moved into an apartment complex, which was really just four, two-story, run down buildings facing each other on the edge of town. The grass was overgrown and green mold overran the once white siding. Alice no longer actually had her own room so she commandeered the guest room.

“Mom threw away most of my fucking shit,” Alice said, pushing the door open and tossing her bag against the wall.

Cindy hovered by the door and tried to discreetly glance around the room. The walls were plain white along with the bedspread. A couple boxes with ALICE sharpied on the front were pushed against the wall. She kicked a pile of shirts into her closet while Arnie flopped down on the bed.

“It’s lovely isn’t it,” Alice said sarcastically, hopping up on the small desk. “Mom only kept like two boxes of my shit. Can you believe that?”

“Ziggy kept everything the way it was, kinda feels like a museum.” It was hard falling asleep that first night in a room that hadn’t changed in 16 years. She didn’t feel like the same girl who had pink bed sheets and a photo of The Fonz taped on her wall.

“My mom’s the same way, it feels more like a shrine than my room.” Arnie said quietly, staring at the ceiling. “I slept on the couch last night.”

“I snuck out of my room when Ziggy went to bed and slept on the floor outside her room.” Cindy admitted.

Arnie sat up on his elbows and looked at her in surprise. “I keep thinking this is all a dream and we’re still dead.”

“I said the same thing to Ziggy,” It was comforting to know that someone else had the same thought as her.

Alice raised her eyebrows and glanced between them as she rolled a joint, a baggie of weed beside her, “How’s Ziggy doing?”

“Weird.” Cindy said, wondering how much she should say and then remembered that Alice was the closest thing she had to a best friend. “She has like, seven locks on the door and there’s alarm clocks everywhere,” Then once she started speaking it all went spewing out. “ and the alarm clocks aren’t just clocks, they’re reminders of everything: when to eat breakfast, when to eat lunch, when to take the dog out. Ziggy barely has it together.”

Alice and Arnie looked at her with wide eyes.

“She’s not the only one.” Arnie joked.

Alice held out the joint, “I think you need this more than we do.”

She took the joint, heart thumping in her chest. It didn’t bother her to be called a prude. Only in hindsight could she recognise her one track mind, studying and working so fucking hard at getting out of Shadyside, and what had it gotten her? Dead. Now it was 1994 and Ziggy had grown up without her.

She inhaled. The smoke burned her throat and she doubled over coughing. It took her a moment to realise that Alice and Arnie were laughing.

“Oh fuck you,” She said, coughing. Although there was no heat in her tone. It was kind of funny. She started laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Alice was breathless from laughing so hard, “It’s just the first time—”

“Is always hilarious,” Arnie said.

She collapsed on the bed next to Arnie and handed him the joint. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“Don’t wimp out now,” Alice said. “You just need to get the hang of it.”

“Maybe it was a bad idea,” She hedged. Arnie put the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply before handing the joint off to Alice.

“We can help you ease into it,” Arnie said, sharing a look with Alice.

Alice turned to Cindy with a glint in her eye that she never liked to see. “He’s right. Have you heard of shotgunning?”

“Uh—no?”

Arnie leaned closer to her, more in her space than she was expecting. “You trust us?”

“That remains to be seen,” Cindy said dryly.

“Ouch,” Arnie said lightly.

“One of us would blow smoke in your mouth,” Alice said, in the most gentle voice she was probably capable of, like she was speaking to a spooked animal. It shocked Cindy a little to hear.

She hesitated. There wasn’t really anything holding her back now. Ziggy was an adult now and who knew if Cindy was going to go to college.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try?” She sounded as unsure as she felt.

“There’s the Cindy Berman I used to know,” Alice said, handing the joint to Arnie.

He brought the joint to his lips, inhaling, his eyes never left hers. Heart racing, she glanced up at Alice. She didn’t want it to come off like she was flirting with Arnie, who wasn’t bad looking now that she was thinking about it. Alice nodded, smirking.

He lowered the joint and leaned forward, mouth connecting with hers. One hand lightly rested on her waist, the other traced the curve of her shoulder as he blew the smoke in her mouth. It burned the back of her throat on the way down.

“Wow.” It was all she could say after Arnie pulled away. It was the most relaxed she felt in a long time.

“Good right?” Alice asked.

Cindy let herself fall back against the bed, now she understood why they smoked so often. It was like all the background noise faded away, leaving behind a pleasant buzz. Alice hopped off the desk, a look that could only be described as mischievous on her face. She sat on the other side of Cindy. Taking the joint from Arnie she brought it to her lips.

Cindy’s heart pounded in her chest. She didn’t know why she was so nervous. Alice watched her as she leaned down a question in her eyes. Cindy didn’t stop her. They kissed softly as Alice blew the smoke into her mouth. She felt warm and sedated, her stomach fluttering. It surprised her how much kissing Alice felt like kissing Tommy.

She let her hand trail up Alice’s side as she pulled her deeper into the kiss. Alice smelled like weed and sweat. They kissed for several more moments before pulling away. The weed was really hitting her now, she felt heavy and sedated, flopping back down as Alice sat up.

“How’s that?” Alice asked, subdued suddenly as if weary of her reaction.

Cindy found herself laughing. What was her life now? The old Cindy would be going crazy right now. “Good. Really good. I really should’ve done this sooner.”

“The weed or the kissing?”

She pressed her hands to her face, suddenly feeling red hot. “Both,” She murmured. Her answer was muffled by her hands. “The kissing was good,” It felt easier to admit while not looking at them.

Alice flopped down, her body warm pressed against hers. Arnie followed, laying on her other side. There was a smattering of glow in the dark stars on the popcorn ceiling.

“Good. It was all a part of our evil plan to seduce you,” Arnie said. “And by our, I mean Alice’s.”

“Really?”

Alice shrugged, “I put it together while you were in the bathroom.”

Cindy laughed, the bed shaking under her. “I’m sorry,” She gasped. “I don’t know why that’s so funny.”

“It’s the weed talking,” Alice said fondly.

Ziggy was on the phone when Cindy walked into the house, feeling dead on her feet and still slightly high. Ziggy peered around the corner, the cord stretching around the wall, her eyes wide.

“Thank fuck, she just walked in,” She said to whoever on the other line. “Call off the cavalry, thanks Martin.”

She hung up and turned to Cindy. “Fuck you scared me. Where were you?” She pulled her into a tight hug, then pulled back, wrinkling her nose. “Why do you smell like weed?”

Cindy collapsed on the couch, rolling her eyes. Her body felt weighed down. “I was with Alice and Arnie.”

“Jesus, they don’t waste any time. It didn’t occur to call and tell me where you were? I was worried out of my mind!”

Cindy started laughing and slumped back onto the couch. Ziggy was acting like Cindy. The tables had turned and it only took Cindy’s death for it to do so.

Ziggy stared at her, like she’d finally lost it.“Oh my god is Cindy Berman high?”

“They offered,” Cindy shrugged. “I needed to get my mind off of things.”

“Coming back to life?”

“Tommy.”

Ziggy blinked. “Jesus I forgot how dramatic being a teenager was,” She took a seat next to Cindy, “I mean, I had a whole speech planned. Something about how I’m the adult now and we need ground rules, like don’t scare your sister half to death. But I guess that can wait. What about Tommy?”

“I’ve been avoiding him,” Cindy said. “It just all feels too recent, but I think I need to break up with him.”

Ziggy raised her eyebrows, “You guys aren’t already broken up? I just thought your death kind of…you know.”

“I mean officially,” She shrugged, “just to clear the air.”

Ziggy was silent for a moment, like she was considering her words very carefully. Cindy recognized the look, how she folded her arms and pressed her lips together. It was what she always did when she was holding back choice words. Cindy saw the look from how often Ziggy got trouble.

“Deena actually told me this morning that Simon got him a job at the Grab and Bag.” She said finally. “I think they have a shift tomorrow. If you really wanted to talk to him.”

Cindy let out a steadying breath and pressed her palms to her lap, the pressure sent pin pricks up her legs. Jesus was she still fucking high?”

“Will you go with me?”

“Of course,” Ziggy said. “Although I don’t actually have my license, so someone else will have to drive.”

Cindy frowned, “Why don’t you have your license?”

“I don’t get out much,” Ziggy said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in the same way Mom often did. She tried to get the lump in her throat to go away. “We can talk about that later when your not fucking high.”

That made her laugh. Ziggy eventually corralled her into bed. She sank into sleep knowing what she had to do tomorrow. She needed to break up with Tommy.

Chapter Text

Tommy was working the register at the Grab and Bag when Cindy came in. She waved hesitantly when he saw her. He gave a terse nod and turned back to the old lady he was checking out. If she finally wanted to talk then she could wait.“10.75 ma’am.”

Simon was the assistant manager, and had basically gotten Tommy the job. He was good at it too: He kept a stack of coupons by the register, carried grocery bags out to old ladies cars, and helped customers find things they didn’t know they needed. It was surprising at first, in the cave he’d written off Simon as just another Arnie, but Tommy could see that he was more than that. You didn’t get employee of the month twelve months in a row because all you cared about was selling drugs.

Whether he knew it or not, Simon had been very helpful the past few days helping Tommy get used to life in 1994. Giving him a place to sleep, and letting him hang out with Kate and their friends. Not to mention getting him hired at the Grab and Bag. The job was enough to keep his mind off of things, like the fact that most of his friends were giving him a wide berth these days. Including Cindy. It hurt to know that all she saw him as was a monster, although he wasn’t angry about it, just resigned to it. He was resigned to a lot of things these days.

“Hey man,” He said to Simon, who was stocking the cereal aisle. “Can you cover for me? Cindy’s here.”

Simon grinned, “Of course dude, good luck.”

Tommy didn’t feel particularly lucky. He had a feeling it wasn’t a good visit.

Cindy was standing by the wall of employee appreciation photos. A wall filled with nothing but Simon’s face. He was the only one to win the award for twelve months straight. Her clothes surprised him, she was wearing a black mini-skirt with a tight pink top. She looked like everyone else in 1994. An irrational feeling of anger rose up in him. 1978 felt like it was slipping away faster than ever. It was hard to even recognize the people he knew, jeans and t-shirts were different. Just the other day he’d heard Kansas on a classic rock station.

“Ziggy took me shopping,” Cindy said when she saw him looking. “It felt kind of weird getting to pick out whatever I wanted.”

He nodded and crossed his arms. “What’s wrong?” The words came out softer than he wanted it too, Cindy always had that effect on him.

She stumbled over her words, “Nothing—I mean nothing much, um I’m sorry.” She said finally, “I shouldn’t have ignored you for so long.”

“Yeah,” he said. “It kinda sucks being ignored by all your friends.”

She winced, “I’m sorry, I just needed time to process everything. It was like—”

“Everything happened yesterday?” Tommy offered. “Even though it’s been like 16 years.”

She looked surprised, “Exactly.”

“You could’ve been honest with me. Do you think I’m that much of a monster that you couldn’t talk to me?”

“Of course not! I don’t think that of you.”

He knew he was being unfair, but annoyance flared up anyway. “Clearly a part of you does, since you’ve been ignoring me all week.”

“That’s not fair,” Cindy said, voice hard. “What do you want from me?”

Tommy didn’t know what he wanted, but he was tired of people tiptoeing around, not knowing how to treat him.

“The truth. I want you to be honest with me.”

Cindy pressed her hands to her face. He watched her closely, afraid that she was going to cry.

She dropped her hands, “Look: last week we were all in this horror movie and we were all horribly murdered. I don’t want to think of you like that, like that thing that took you over.” She took a deep breath, “I want us to be friends, but I just need time…away from you.”

He swallowed and looked everywhere but directly at her. He wanted her to be honest, but that didn’t mean it made it any less easier to hear.

“So I guess this is it?” Tommy asked. The chip aisle needed straightening up. A jar of pickles was sitting where the Lays should be.

There were tears in her eyes, “Yeah, I guess so.” She took several steps back until she was in front of the sliding doors, “I’ll see you around.” Then she was gone.

He looked down at his hands, the black nail polish started to chip. Fuck. He really loved Cindy. She was smart and so determined in everything she did. Once, he thought he might even marry her, it was a half fleeting thought. Even kind of silly in retrospect. He did feel strangely better. Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“Holy shit dude.”

Tommy looked up. Simon was standing in front of him, wide-eyed. “Did you guys just break up?”

“Yeah, we did.” Tommy said. The bright, mid-day sun slanted in through the closed doors.

“And…are you okay?”

Tommy shrugged. He wasn’t, but he had a feeling he would be eventually. He was quickly learning that change came for them all.

There were too many fucking chip choices. Were Lays the perfect party chip? Or Wavy? Barbecue or Sour Cream and Onion? Ziggy grabbed two bags of the wavy, the plastic bags crinkling as she threw them in the cart. It had been a long time since she went invited to a party, never mind actually throwing one. At least Martin had been kind enough to drive her to the store, the one stipulation was that he got to pick out the drinks.

The kids suggested the party and Ziggy, before she knew what she was doing, had suggested her house. It felt strange that these kids, not quite 18, were the closest thing she had to friends. It would have felt more pathetic had Martin not also been there. With another adult, it didn’t feel as creepy.

She pushed the cart forward, digging the list out of her pocket. The kids had an extensive list of snacks and pooled together money to pay for most of it. She tried and failed not to think about what had gone down here at the Grab and Bag. Up ahead, the lobster tank was drained and empty.

Martin rounded the corner with two twelve packs of MT Dew and Pepsi stacked in his arms, “Figured I’d get each of the best,” He said, sliding them in the bottom tray.

“I mean I wouldn’t call MT Dew one of the best,” Ziggy said, relishing the feeling of bantering with someone.

He shook his head, falling into line beside her, and gave a mock look of disbelief. "Don't tell me you're one of those people who likes Dr. Pepper?”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Well for one, they won’t tell us what’s in it—now that’s suspicious.”

She laughed. Martin turned and gave her a delighted grin. A strange feeling she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager bubbled up inside of her. It wasn’t like she was a total hermit, she’d dated and gone to college (it was community). Tried the whole normal person thing and learned early on that she didn’t like it. It was hard to get ahead when you were a Shadysider, but that was past them now. She constantly reminded herself that Cindy was alive. It was getting easier everyday to run errands or take Major Tom for a walk. She still tripled checked her locks every night but there were some habits you just couldn’t break.

“I might try to get my drivers license,” Ziggy said, once they were back in the car. The groceries in the trunk.

“Yeah?” Martin said casually, backing out of the parking space and turning back onto the road.

“It seemed pointless after camp,” She said, a lump growing in her throat. Tommy had been teaching her to drive. Whenever Cindy had a shift, he took her up to the school in his beat up ford pickup and let her do laps around the parking lot. She hasn’t tried to drive since.

“I could teach you,” Martin said, his fingers drumming on the wheel.

“Really?” She said, “ That’d be great, then you wouldn’t have to drive me around all the time. Which I’m very grateful for by the way.”

“I don’t mind driving you around.” He said, turning grinning at her. “I mean someone with some self preservation skills has to keep an eye on you guys.”

“I have plenty of self preservation,” She said.

“And I’m sure you do, but they way you three went after Sheriff Goode? That was ballsy. No sane person does that, but hey, that’s what I admire about you guys.”

She looked out the window, at the trees and houses passing by, trying and failing to smother a grin.

“I think helping us kill Nick makes you just as crazy as the rest of us,” Ziggy said finally.

“...Damn you might have a point there.” Marin said, hitting the blinker and turning onto her street.

When Tommy got to Nurse Lane’s house, he let himself in. Ryan and Ruby were sitting on the floor in the front room, records spread out over the floor. Heather was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. Ryan had taken it upon himself to show them new music ever since Ruby admitted she didn't know who the Beatles were.

At first Ryan gave her a stack of records and let Ruby go off on her own. She quickly became enthralled, not only with the Beatles but with new music in general. For the past two weeks Ryan and Tommy picked out a couple bands and she’d listen to them throughout the week. Tommy wasn’t really much of a music person, but it was nice to spend an afternoon with people who understood.

He said hello and flopped down on the couch, tugging the magazine from Heather’s hands.

“I didn’t take you for a Teen Beat girl,” Tommy teased. “Who’s Luke Perry?”

“No one,” She said quickly. “It’s Ruby’s, I was just curious.”

“Aww, leave her alone Tommy,” Ruby said. Her once long hair was now cut to just above her shoulders. Ryan had told him it was called something called ‘The Rachel’ “She picked it up for me, I’m catching up on television.”

Ruby had taken to 1994 like a fish to water. She wanted to learn everything that had happened over the last 30 years..So far she liked The Beadles and Lesley Gore but wasn’t totally sold on hard rock. Movie wise, she liked Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Heathers. It was almost admirable had Tommy not seen it for what it was: A way to keep busy.

Tommy understood that all too well. It wasn’t as easy for them, “The Shadyside killers” to get back to living as it was for everyone else. They had to be there for each other because who else understood it like them? Much like Tommy’s old friends, Ruby’s didn’t want to talk to her just yet. They needed time. It was something Tommy kept hearing. No one thought to give them time to heal.

Ruby put on a record. The opening notes of Dancing Queen started to play and she started to sway to the music.

“I can’t believe you hate Abba,” Ruby said to Ryan, then started to sing. “Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen!”

It was one thing knowing that Ruby Lane could sing, but it was another one to hear it for yourself.

“I don’t hate it,” Ryan insisted. He was sitting on the floor amongst the records that were sprawled out over the floor.

“Yeah Ryan, I can’t believe you hate Abba,” Heather said. The one thing Tommy learned from hanging around Heather and Ryan was that they could never resist needling each other. “It’s clearly superior than like, Nirvana.”

“I wouldn’t even put them in the same category—”

Nurse Mary poked her head out from the kitchen, “Cookies are done if anyone wants some.”

Tommy went into the kitchen. The chocolate chip cookies were cooling on the counter.

“Now I must warn you,” Mary was saying, “It’s been a few years since I’ve baked, but they’re not burnt so I’ll call it a win.”

Mary was older now than she had been back in ‘78. Gray was streaked through her limp brown hair, and there were crows feet around her eyes. But there was a subtle shift in her that Tommy hadn’t noticed before: she was happy.

“They're good,” Tommy said, biting into a cookie.

“Good good,” Mary said, smiling as she dried her hands off with a pink patterned towel. Then she studied him for what felt like a long moment. It was a stare similar to that faithful day at camp, but this time it wasn’t a resigned stare. It was a motherly look.

“How have you been Tommy?”

Instinctively, he looked down at his cookie. “Better,” It was the honest truth, he realized. “A lot better, Simon got me a job at the Grab and Bag.”

“How are you liking it?” Mary asked. It was such a motherly question, that for a split moment he wished his mother was there. She took off when he was twelve and his grandmother was dead.

“It’s not too bad. It helps to stay busy.”

“Well,” Mary said. “You’re welcome here anytime, it’s nice to see kids in this house again.”

They stood at the kitchen entryway, Ruby and Heather were dancing to another Abba song, trying and failing to get Ryan to join in. A warm feeling settled in his chest and stayed there.

The sign hung above the couch, written in Cindy’s careful handwriting. It read: Happy Birthday Sarah Fier. They didn’t actually know when Sarah Fier’s birthday was. It was a gesture Deena said, a thank you.

The kitchen table was overtaken with food; open bags of chips, cans of soda, and boxes of pizza. The kids were spread out over the living room. Deena and Sam were curled up on the couch talking to Kate. Josh and Martin were looking at a few electronics on the coffee table. Cindy and Alice had drifted to Cindy’s room, while Tommy, Simon, and Arnie were talking over plates of pizza.

There had never been so many people in the house. She was glad, happy really. But the house was starting to feel cluttered and full in a way it never had. She needed a drink. She made sure to hide a bottle on top of the fridge before locking the liquor cabinet (a relic that belonged to her parents; It mostly stayed empty except for a bottle or two).

As she poured herself two fingers of whiskey a voice came from behind her, “Finally breaking out the good stuff, huh?”

She tensed up for a brief moment before relaxing, it was only Martin.

Shrugging, Ziggy grabbed another glass, “It’s just getting a little…”she gestured around the room.

“Crowded?” Martin asked, leaning against the fridge.

“Something like that.”

She handed over the glass.

“I think it’s nice, what you're doing for those kids,” he said. She made a face. It didn’t feel like she was doing much at all. “It might not seem like much to us, but it means a lot to them.”

“I just wish I could do more,” Ziggy said. She suddenly felt very tired. “I’m making most of it up as I go along.”

“You’re doing fine,” He said, putting his glass down. He stepped closer and put an arm around her waist. She let him pull her in. After a moment's hesitation they kissed softly, his hand around the nape of her neck as he crowded her against the counter.

“We should go on a date,” Martin said, pulling back. “A real date, not me just chauffeuring you around town.”

“Okay,” Ziggy said smiling. “Deal.”

They kissed again. Slowly. Because they had all the time in the world. After a few minutes he pulled back.

“Now I didn’t want to worry you,” Martin said. Ziggy pulled back out of his embrace. She recognized his tone of voice. It was the calm one he used around authority figures. “But I did overhear your sister saying something to Alice about not going to college?”

“What? She’s always wanted to go to college,” Ziggy shook her head. “Are you sure that’s what she said?”

Martin nodded, looping a finger through her belt-loop, “I know what I heard. From what you told me about Cindy, I thought it was weird.”

“Okay,” She said, mostly to herself. Cindy always wanted to go to college, it was all she had ever talked about all those years ago. Ziggy wanted nothing more than to make it happen. “I’m going to talk to her.”

“Are you sure now’s a good time?”

“If I wait I’ll just be stewing on it the whole time,” She said, already walking out of the kitchen.

Cindy was in her room with Alice, lounging on the bed. The door wide open. They looked at her when she knocked.

To Cindy she asked, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Alice and Cindy shared a look. Then Alice hopped off the bed. When she left, Ziggy closed the door and got right to the point.

“What’s this about you not going to college?”

Cindy sat up and looked alarmed, “Who told you that?”

“Is it true?” Ziggy pushed. “It’s all you’ve ever talked about.” It wasn’t like Cindy to change her mind on something so fast. Once she decided on something it was hard for her to change her mind about it.

“Now I changed my mind. Is now the best time to be talking about this?”

Ziggy sat down on the bed. “I just don’t understand why you’ve changed your mind?”

Cindy sighed and looked away from her. “It wouldn't be fair,” She said after a long moment. “to leave you.”

Ziggy blinked. The thought never crossed her mind. “What do you mean?”

Cindy crossed her arms, “I mean you’ve been in this house alone for so long, that It would be wrong to—” She broke off struggling for words.

“Leave me?” Ziggy guessed, the tension left her shoulders. So that’s what this was about. She should’ve guessed. “You can go to community college for a couple years. I’m not going to kick you out of the house.”

Cindy shrugged and stayed silent.

“Or don’t take my advice,” Ziggy said. “But you could work with me here.”

“It’s not really about college,” she said. “It just still feels so weird that you’re older than me now. I’m supposed to be the big sister.”

Ziggy laughed without meaning to. “I feel the same way.”

Cindy looked up in surprise, “Really?”

She nodded, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I'm not as good at giving advice as you are.”

“You’re not that good at taking it either.”

“Ok. Ouch.” Ziggy said but didn’t really mean it. “But really, you have time to decide, whatever you want to do.”

Cindy didn’t say anything. Ziggy looked over to find her smiling, like it had never occurred to her before.

“Yeah,” she said. “I guess we do.”