Chapter Text
The first time you had ever laid eyes on him you barely noticed his face; your eyes were much more interested in the blade that he wielded. A lightsaber. Strikingly bright, glowing blue, and humming ominously, the blade sliced through the droids that had taken you and the others hostage. Another man wielded a similar green blade, cutting through the machines as if it were the easiest thing in the world. It was unlike anything you had ever seen before.
You had heard tales of the Jedi but never in your wildest dreams could you imagine meeting one, let alone two, face to face like this. For a brief moment you feared what these men had in store for you, for your queen, but as soon as they turned their gaze to your group those fears dissipated. You could tell they weren’t here to hurt you; they were here to help you. How you knew that you had no idea. It was just a gut feeling… well, a gut feeling plus the fact that you had heard that the Jedi were peacekeepers, or something like that.
As you were ushered around the corner and up the steps by these men, you focused on your brightly colored dress swishing at your feet. Any other day you would have marveled at how the material flowed at the slightest movement, at its bright cheery color. But today, when it was critical to get the queen to safety and to do so without drawing unnecessary attention? It couldn’t have been a worse choice. You glanced around at the other handmaidens — at Padmè in disguise, at Sabè playing the role of Queen Amidala; you were looking at the faces of your friends. Would all of you live to see the end of the day? You weren’t so sure at the present moment, but you forced that troubling thought from your mind and focused on the situation at hand. The most important thing was to keep the queen safe, both the real and the fake one. All you had to do was stick together and — your train of thought was rudely interrupted as someone bumped into your shoulder in an effort to get to the front of the group.
“My apologies,” an unfamiliar voice murmured. You turned your head sharply, fully expecting it to be a palace guard, overly excited to work alongside a Jedi and prove himself to the queen. Oh, how wrong you were.
The man pushing to the front of the group had every reason to do so, he was one of the Jedi! You immediately felt foolish, casting your eyes to the ground to hide the embarrassed look on your face. Well, there went any hope of making a good first impression…
When you finally raised your eyes again you tried to look as nonchalant as possible, observing the situation at hand. You weren’t the only one. The Jedi that bumped into you was also looking around, searching for hidden threats. You glanced over at him, who knew the next time you’d be this close to a Jedi? Might as well get a good look, so when you told your friends about this later your story could be as detailed as possible.
The man was young, older than you for sure, but still young. His hair was cut short, save for a ponytail and braid (must be a Jedi thing) and if you were pressed to name its color, you’d say it was a light brown. You were sure some of the other handmaidens would call him handsome, so you decided when you retold this story, you’d mention his sharp jawline and piercing eyes — whatever color they may be. You could choose whatever color you liked; it wouldn’t really matter in the retelling. All that would matter is that a handsome Jedi saved you and the others from danger... oh yes, your friends would just eat this story up.
Your gaze had only been on him for a few seconds longer than what was socially acceptable — and considering the situation, you could argue it was still socially acceptable — when his gaze turned to focus on you. For the briefest of moments your eyes met, and it was like he could see right through you. Like he could read your very thoughts and that’s when you realized you forgot one crucial detail about the Jedi… their mind tricks.
You quickly averted your eyes, trying to focus on what the others were saying. Trying to keep your mind blank. You weren’t exactly sure how Jedi mind tricks worked, but when you were young, your best friend Gwin told you that if a Jedi looked into your eyes he could read your thoughts. You had always told yourself it was nothing more than a made-up story to scare kids, but right now you weren’t so sure. His gaze was so intense, it really did feel like he could read your mind. You sure hoped he hadn’t been reading your mind and heard the detailed log you were taking of his appearance. You especially hoped he hadn’t heard the line about his sharp jawline and piercing eyes… he did have strikingly beautiful blue eyes though — no!
Think blank thoughts. Think blank thoughts. Think blank thoughts. You repeated over and over again in your mind. If he was listening, he’d hear nothing more.
Was one look really all it took to read a person’s mind? Did he even need to look into a person’s eyes to use his Jedi mind tricks? Were those tricks even real? Right now wasn’t the time to be asking such questions. Right now, you had to focus on getting the queen to safety.
***
That was easier said than done. After a blaster fight with battle droids in the hangar and pushing your way through the Trade Federation’s blockade, it was safe to say you were more than a bit rattled. Thankfully everyone was alright, unfortunately the same couldn’t be said about the ship. It took extensive damage during your escape, and as such, you were being forced to land on some remote planet called Tatooine. As you peered through the small window in the queen’s quarters all you could see was a never-ending sea of sand.
“What does it look like?” Padmè asked, shrugging on another layer of clothing.
“Like one giant desert,” you replied with a huff, turning back to face your queen. “Lots of sand and not much else… do you really have to go, milady? Surely one of us could go in your place? It would be much safer—”
“No. I want to assess the situation for myself. Sabè will pose as me until I return. I will not argue this point any further,” replied Padmè in a firm voice. You bowed your head, accepting her decision. There was only so much you could say as a simple handmaiden; it wasn’t your place to give your queen orders.
You watched your true queen leave the ship with a heavy feeling in your chest. Something deep in your gut told you that this plan was a bad idea, a very bad idea. You took a deep breath, steadying your nerves. It was your job to worry about the Queen, you were one of her handmaidens, one of her bodyguards. You had no qualms about risking your life to protect her, but with Padmè going off like this… there was nothing you could do but wait.
Once again that was easier said than done. The young girl was like family, more akin to a little sister than queen (but you could never admit that out loud). If anything ever happened to her you don’t know what you’d do.
Unfortunately, your worry proved to be well founded. In the few short hours your queen was absent, the ship had received a transmission from the governor stating that the death toll was rising rapidly the longer the invasion of your home planet lasted. To make matters worse a terrible sandstorm had whipped up; preventing Padmè from returning to the ship. Everyone was forced to overnight where they were.
It was no surprise then that sleep was eluding you. You had tossed and turned on your cot for what seemed like hours before finally giving up. You silently slipped out of bed, sliding on your slippers and tiptoed to the door, hesitating before it. You held your breath, listening to the other handmaidens snoring softly in their cots, no one had woken up. Good. As much as you loved the girls, you were looking for a moment alone. A moment to think.
You slowly opened the door and snuck into the hallway, the door clicking quietly behind you. Just like that you were free, at least for a few minutes. But where to go? Your stomach rumbled, reminding you of the fact that you had barely touched your dinner — you were just too upset about that transmission from the governor to eat. Now the gnawing in your stomach made you regret that decision. Guess you might as well go look for some food.
You padded down the metal hallway, scanning your surroundings for a sign or symbol indicating where supplies might be kept. There! A sign that read cargo hold. It indicated you had to take an elevator down to the lower level of the ship and so that’s what you did.
You wrapped your arms around yourself as you waited for the elevator to reach its destination. You were clad just in your nightgown, the thin material doing little to keep the cold away. You hadn’t thought to grab a robe on your way out. Hopefully this sojourn away from your sleeping quarters would be brief.
Once you were securely in the hold of the ship you started rooting around for some rations. There had to be some in here, there just had to be. It was a cargo hold after all. You lifted the lid off a wooden crate and peered inside; it was filled with metal machinery. Nothing edible. With a scowl you tried another crate, and then another, both were completely devoid of food as well. You tried a metal box next; hopeful that the extra security was to protect rations from the elements but no. This was filled with uniforms for the guards. You groaned loudly; this was going to take forever!
“Looking for something?” a voice called out from behind you. You jumped a foot in the air, absolutely startled. You whipped around, cradling the lid of the metal crate in your hands as if it were some sort of shield, and met that same pair of blue eyes from earlier today. It was the young Jedi.
“Oh, uh. I— I promise I’m not stealing anything!” you stammered. Not stealing anything? Really (Y/N)? That’s what you were opening with?
“I didn’t think you were,” he replied with the hint of a grin on his face. He was trying to be polite; you could just tell. You could also tell that you were horribly underdressed for such a meeting. Here you were having your first, and possibly only, conversation with a Jedi and you were in your kriffing nightwear of all things!
You held the metal lid closer to your chest, a weak attempt at trying to retain some sort of modesty. The nightgown did little to hide your figure; its sheer white material may have reached the floor, but it clung to your body in ways that left little to the imagination. For the second time today, you regretted your fashion choices.
The Jedi glanced around the room as if he expected someone else to be down here with you. “What are you doing down here?”
“I— uh… I was looking for rations,” you admitted in a small voice, casting your eyes down to your slippers. “I didn’t really eat dinner, and I didn’t want to disturb anyone, so I thought I would look in here for some food.”
“I see… any luck?” he asked. His tone was gentle, not condescending, so you willed your eyes back up to focus on him. Just not his eyes, look anywhere but his eyes. You didn’t want him reading your thoughts, even if you weren’t thinking anything embarrassing at the moment.
“Not unless you Jedi can eat metal,” you said, a lame attempt at a joke.
“Heh, no. That is not something a Jedi can do. None that I know at least,” he answered with a smile. At least he had a sense of humor. Your friend who had told you about the mind reading also had told you that Jedi were like droids — completely void of emotions. This man didn’t seem to fit that description, at least not yet. There was still time for him to prove you wrong.
“What’s in that crate there?” he asked, motioning to the crate whose lid you still held in your hands.
“Oh, uniforms I think,” you said turning back to the box and returning the lid to its designated spot. You cast your eyes around the cargo hold, there were piles of crates, searching them one by one would take forever. You sighed and glanced over your shoulder, “I don’t suppose you have any Jedi tricks that would be helpful here?”
The man raised his hand to his chin, thinking deeply. “None come to mind.” Of course not. “What about that box there?” He pointed to a small metal box a few feet away from you. It looked more like a medical supply box to you, but it was worth a shot.
You stepped over to the box and bent down, flipping the lid open. Sure enough, it was filled with medical supplies. Your gut was right. “Nope, nothing.”
“Are you sure? Maybe there are some rations at the bottom?” suggested the Jedi. Eh, it was worth a look. You rummaged around the box, feeling around for something that felt even remotely like a ration. After a few moments you gave up, there was nothing useful in this box.
“I got nothing in here,” you said flipping the lid shut. You stood and faced the Jedi once more; this time it seemed as if he were the one avoiding eye contact and was that a hint of a blush on his cheeks? No that was preposterous, Jedi didn’t feel emotions… or did they? “The only thing in that box was medical supplies.”
“Good to know. Though, I hope we never have to use them,” commented the Jedi. He really was looking anywhere other than your face. Hm, that was odd. The two of you were quiet for a moment pondering two different questions.
“I think I have an idea,” he said after a moment.
“Oh?” You watched as he glided past you, hardly making a sound as he passed by. Well, that explained how he managed to sneak up on you earlier.
You silently followed him, not quite sure how to break the silence. What do you even try to talk about? It’s not like you had anything in common and you were fairly certain you would never see this man again once you reached Coruscant. Jedi were a valuable resource to the Republic; they certainly had more important things to do than search a cargo hold with a handmaiden.
He stopped before an unmarked box, redirecting your thoughts to the present. You watched as he lifted the lid and to your surprise a grin flashed across his face. “I believe this is what you were looking for?”
You stepped forward, now standing next to him, and peered down into the box. Sure enough, the crate was filled with neatly stacked piles of rations. More than enough to feed the entire ship’s crew for several days. Your face split into a wide grin, “Yes! Thank you!” you reached into the box and hesitated as your fingers brushed against the metallic wrapping. Where were your manners? “Do you want one?” you asked.
“Sure.”
You grabbed two bars and turned to the Jedi. You offered one of the bars out to him and he took it, his fingers just barely ghosting over your skin. You normally wouldn’t have thought twice about such a banal interaction, but something felt different. Despite the fact that his hand had barely touched you, it felt like a surge of electricity had passed between the two of you. Surely you must have imagined that? But the shocked expression on the Jedi’s face told you otherwise.
“What?” you asked, trying to play it cool.
“It’s nothing,” the Jedi said quickly. Much too quickly to truly mean that. “Thanks for the ration.”
“Thanks for finding the right box,” you answer, tearing open the bar. It looked dry and bland but at least it was food. You took a bite and chewed thoughtfully; it tasted like you were eating wood chips. You eyed the Jedi as he copied your movements, starting to eat his own ration bar. The expression on his face was unreadable, but you knew he was hiding something. Was he trying to perform a Jedi mind trick on you?
As if he could feel the suspicion radiating off you, or because he could read your mind, he raised an eyebrow in question. Almost like he was daring you to say something. You hesitated for a moment, he was a Jedi, infinitely more powerful than you but still… you would likely never see this man again. Might as well ask your questions, it would only be awkward for another day or so at most.
“Did you do some sort of mind trick on me?” you blurted out. The Jedi choked on his ration bar, he clearly wasn’t expecting that.
“Excuse me?” he sputtered.
“When I handed you the bar, your hand— it felt like electricity or something. Did you do that?” you asked quickly. The Jedi hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to determine how much he should reveal to you.
“No, that wasn’t me,” he answered evenly.
“Well, it certainly wasn’t me,” you quipped. “I think I would remember having powers like that.”
“It’s not a Jedi mind trick. I can assure you of that.”
“Then what was it?” you asked, putting your hands on your hips, and taking on the tone you used when disciplining someone. The other handmaidens referred to it your mom voice and for good reason, it yielded results. Now the real question was did it work on Jedi?
“What you felt was the Force,” he said.
“The Force? What’s that?”
“The Force is an energy field created by all living things. It binds the galaxy together,” explained the Jedi.
“Okay and? If it’s in all living things, why is it just choosing now to make an appearance?” you asked, still using your mom voice.
“Well…” he hesitated.
“Spill it, Jedi.” You were startled at your sudden bravery, and you weren’t the only one. The Jedi’s eyes widened in surprise,
“If I tell you, you must promise to not get upset.”
“Why would I be upset?”
“Just promise me,” he said.
“Fine, I promise. Now tell me.”
He sighed deeply, leaning back against a stack of crates and crossing his arms. “This is likely far from the first time that the Force has presented itself in your life. I believe you are Force sensitive,” he explained.
“Force sensitive?” you echoed. “What does that mean?”
“It means you have a strong connection to the Force—”
“But I didn’t do anything?”
“You don’t have to do anything. The Force is in all living things, often times people are born with a stronger than average connection to the Force. You must be one of them,” explained the Jedi.
“I was born this way?”
“Yes, and had your talents been discovered when you were young, you might have even become a Jedi.” You stared at him, completely and utterly flabbergasted. You a Jedi? What kind of joke was this? Was he being serious?
“Yes, I’m being serious,” he said seconds after the thought crossed your mind.
“Are you reading my mind?!” you hissed, taking a step back.
“I don’t need to read your mind to know you were doubting the validity of my statement,” the Jedi rolled his eyes.
“But you can read minds? Right?” you pressed.
“Yes, but—” Gwin had been right. It wasn’t just a story told amongst children. A real Jedi just confirmed that they could read minds. All the stories were true.
“Oh maker— It’s because I looked you in the eyes earlier, isn’t it?! I promise it was an accident! Please don’t read my mind anymore!” you exclaimed.
The Jedi’s eyes widened in surprise. He pushed himself forward off the crates and took a step closer to you, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Miss, please calm down. Just because I can read minds doesn’t mean that’s what I was doing. I promise that I’m not reading your mind right now.”
“You’re not?”
“No, I assure you I’m not— wait. What did you say about my eyes?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. Almost as if he thought he hadn’t heard you correctly.
“Can’t Jedi read the minds of anyone who they look in the eye?” you asked dumbly.
“A well-trained Jedi can read the mind of anyone they choose. They don’t have to look them in the eye.” Oh Maker, that’s even worse than the stories. He could have been reading your thoughts at any time, and you would have no idea! “And before you start worrying again, no I haven’t been reading anyone’s minds today.”
“Oh, and I’m just supposed to take your word on that? You could be lying for all I know. It’s not like I know you,” you snapped. You were conscious of the fact that you were dangerously close to crossing into the territory of being rude, but if this guy was really reading your mind, or maker forbid the mind of the queen, you were well within your right to be upset.
“No, you don’t know me,” the Jedi admitted. “Allow me to remedy that. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi padawan, at your service.” He bowed deeply; it was a bow better fit for the queen rather than one of her many handmaidens. Once he rose to his full height once more, he smiled, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss?”
“(Y/N) Felvora, handmaiden to Queen Amidala,” you answered, bowing your head to be polite.
“There. Now we know each other,” he said with a grin. You cast a doubting look in his direction. Just because you knew his name it hardly meant you knew him. He could still be lying about the mind reading and you would have no way of telling.
Before you could interrogate him further, his comlink beeped.
He glanced down at the device and then cast an apologetic look your way. “I’m sorry. It’s my Master, I have to take this. Please excuse me.” He bowed once more and quickly strode off and out of the cargo hold. You watched him go, his brown robe fluttering behind him. What the kriff just happened?
***
You didn’t have much time to truly ponder Master Kenobi’s words over the next few days. Once Padmè and the others returned to the ship you took off quickly, adding to your group a small child named Anakin Skywalker. You didn’t pay much attention to the kid, but Padmè seemed to be quite taken with him. You smiled and nodded as your queen regaled the group with tales of droids and pod races. You were glad that she had a few moments of joy during these dark times, though it made parting with the Jedi harder for her. Anakin would go with them, likely never to be seen again.
You could hardly say you were upset about this development; in fact, you’d go as far to say that you were glad that you wouldn’t have to deal with the Jedi again anytime soon. The constant looming threat of having your mind read was taking its toll on you and you would be glad to see them off. You were the only handmaiden to feel that way it seemed. The others bemoaned the loss of the Jedi as if it were the worst thing in the world.
“I can’t believe we aren’t going to see them again!” sighed Rabè.
“I know! I was just starting to get used to the extra eye candy,” said Eirtaè.
“It’ll be nothing but stuffy old senate guards from now on,” huffed Rabè. She flopped down on the lounge chair next to you. “I swear if one of them tries asking me out I’m going to barf.”
“I think you’re safe from that,” you grinned. It was funny watching your friends act like this. It was a stark reminder that despite everything, all of you were still just teenagers.
Eirtaè cast a suspicious look in your direction, “Why aren’t you upset? And don’t you dare say it’s because you’re ‘much too busy to engage in romantic affairs.’ You use that line too much.”
“I use it because it’s true,” you quipped. “You’ll understand when you’re older.” You loved using that line on the other girls, it always got a rise out of them.
“You’re eighteen not ninety-five,” snorted Eirtaè.
“So what?” you asked.
“So, you’re not blind,” said Rabè. “You have to admit that Jedi was cute.”
“Isn’t he a little old for you?” you teased, trying to steer the subject away from the Jedi. “I think you’d be better suited with the palace cook’s son, he’s about your age, isn’t he?”
“He’s so not cute though,” she grumbled. “Besides, I like to think I’d marry someone more important than a cook’s son.”
“My, my, how stuck up you are,” tutted Eirtaè.
“Oh, so you’d be fine marrying the son of a cook?” Rabè snapped.
“Not that son, no,” admitted Eirtaè. “But I have no qualms marrying another servant. What about you (Y/N)?”
You hesitated for a moment, “I haven’t really thought about it.” It wasn’t a question you spent much time pondering. There had been boys that floated in and out of your life, but never anything serious. If you were honest, you were far too busy for a relationship. Your first and only priority was the queen.
“Well, I have. I’m going to marry someone important, someone who’s done something with their life,” said Rabè.
“Like a Jedi?” asked Eirtaè.
“Maybe.” You bit back a laugh; you didn’t have the heart to tell the poor girl that you were 90% sure Jedi were forbidden from getting married. Oh well, she would figure it out when she got older, there was no need to break a young girl’s dreams today.
***
Eirtaè and Rabè were thrilled, for not soon after you all landed in Coruscant you were once again soaring through space back towards your home planet of Naboo, Jedi in tow. You had done your best to hide your scowl; pretending your apprehension was due to the upcoming struggle to take back your planet and not your unexpected passengers. You did your utmost to avoid the Jedi, both physically and mentally, taking special care to keep your mind clear. Anything could be used against you or the queen, so you always had to be on your guard. It was utterly exhausting. Why did they have to come anyways?
You got your answer while in the midst of storming the royal palace. A man with a red and black face was waiting for you all. A chill went down your spine and your gut sank as your eyes landed on him; something was wrong. Truly and terribly wrong.
“We’ll handle this,” said the older Jedi.
You didn’t question this decision, hurrying behind Padmè towards the interior of the palace, firing blaster shots at any droids you saw. You chanced one look back at the Jedi before you left the hangar, their familiar green and blue blades were joined by the stranger’s red. This stranger was certainly above your pay grade, best to leave him for the Jedi to deal with.
You didn’t think of them again until long after the attack to retake the palace was completed. Night had fallen and so had the eldest Jedi, at least that’s what Padmè had told you. There was a funeral, and you had attended to be polite. You never truly met the man, but it was safe to say you owed your life to him and to Master Kenobi. So, as everyone filtered their way out, you lingered behind, waiting on the stone bridge. Hoping to offer him your condolences. It was the polite thing to do.
Unsurprisingly Master Kenobi was the last person to leave the funeral. You vaguely remember him referring to the deceased man as his master, so it was safe to assume that the two men had been close. This delay in leaving only confirmed it. You watched as he approached, his gaze was downcast, focused on the stone underneath his feet. Not where he was going.
“Master Kenobi.”
He looked up at the sound of his name. “Miss Felvora, I thought you would have returned to the palace by now,” he said coming to a stop in front of you.
“I wanted to offer my condolences. I’m sorry for your loss,” you said softly.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
The two of you stood in awkward silence for a few seconds.
“It’s never easy losing someone you care about,” you stated turning your head to look out at the horizon. The sun had set not long ago, and the last rays of daylight were beginning to disappear; only the faintest traces of pink and orange dusted the horizon line. “I know it’s probably not an issue since you’re a Jedi and can’t feel emotions, but I still felt like I should say something. You did help save us after all.”
Master Kenobi remained silent for a moment. “Who told you Jedi can’t feel emotions?” There was something in his voice, a hint of vulnerability perhaps, that made you look over at him. He was staring out at the horizon just as you were, a deep frown on his face.
“My best friend growing up. She told me Jedi were like droids, unable to feel anything at all…” you trailed off.
“Life as a Jedi would be much simpler if that were the case,” he sighed. “No. We feel emotions just the same as anyone else. We simply learn to control them and not let them control us.”
“Oh.” You sure felt like an idiot. “I should have figured that was wrong. I heard that from the same friend who told me that Jedi could read your mind if they looked into your eyes.”
“Your friend has some interesting ideas about us.” He glanced over at you, a hint of a twinkle in his eye. “Any other beliefs I should debunk for you while I’m here?”
“Um,” you thought for a moment. Rabè’s face floating into your mind. “Can Jedi get married?” Master Kenobi raised an eyebrow at your question. Oh Maker, did he think you were hitting on him? Better remedy that immediately. “One of the other handmaidens, she’s young, and right now her dream is to marry someone interesting. Like a Jedi,” you explained quickly.
“I see,” he murmured, his gaze returning to the horizon. “No. Jedi do not get married. We are not permitted to form attachments, especially not ones of that nature.”
“Why not?”
“Attachments can lead to feelings of jealously and loss, both are paths to the dark side.”
“Oh.” You weren’t quite sure how to respond to that, so you didn’t. You turned your gaze back out to the skyline, looking out at the beauty that was Naboo. It was peaceful; you hoped some of this peace would help Master Kenobi recover from his loss. It was probably best that you left him alone for now. “I should go. I’m sure the others are wondering where I disappeared off to.”
“Of course,” he said. “Thank you once again for your sympathies, they are greatly appreciated. Farewell, Miss Felvora.”
“You’re welcome. Goodbye, Master Kenobi.” You bowed your head and turned on your heel back towards the palace. You were quite certain that this would be the last time you ever saw him, let alone another Jedi.
What an interesting character he turned out to be, certainly nothing like what your friend made Jedi out to be. When you had five minutes of free time you would have to call Gwin and let her know that her intel was completely wrong. Jedi felt emotions just like the rest of us, they could read anyone’s mind they wanted to (eye contact be damned), and they couldn’t get married. Sorry Rabè.