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Chapter Text

July was the most fun month at Seattle Grace. It was when senior residents and attendings got to welcome a new batch of interns to torment and train. 

Teddy Altman had always personally liked the way first years either shrink under the gaze of people in navy scrubs, or overtly try to impress them. A bit sadistic, she thought; but, Teddy was an Attending. She was one of the most sought after cardiothoracic surgeons in the US. And, she carried the Altman last name. People generally fear her or suck up to her.

Altman medical empire of the East Coast.

The pressure and duties that came with being an Altman heiress had driven her right to Seattle, the furthest away she could think of from New York City, and kept her in this city. Although, if Teddy were to say that it had completely nothing to do with what went down at UCLA Med, she would be lying.

She kept the memories of LA repressed somewhere very deep down inside of her.

There was something to be said about still being hung up on an ex of two years from a decade ago.

Securing her pen and notebook in her coat pocket, Teddy tied up her hair as she expertly navigated herself to an OR gallery where she found her best friends Arizona and Callie on the back row. They were her friends since medical school, but Teddy refused to think about that era of her life.

“Hey,” Arizona perked, though not as cheerily as Teddy was accustomed to. Her wife, Callie, went to remove her white gown from the next seat with a small grin. Teddy slipped Callie a protein bar. “Grey is about to bring them out.”

“How many are we getting them this year?” Callie asked, peeling the plastic cover out of her breakfast.

“Eighteen,” Teddy replied. “Three groups of five with third year residents, and the other three get Grey.”

“Sticking interns to a fifth year?” Arizona made a face.

“It’s Grey,” Teddy shrugged.

Arizona shifted in her seat before putting her elbows on her knees, looking past Callie straight at Teddy. “Okay, there’s something you need to know about this intern batch.”

“And you’re not going to like it,” Callie supplied with a hard look.

“O..kay?”

“A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors.” Grey’s voice mechanically sounded in the gallery. When Teddy looked down to the theater, Grey was in the middle of the room, while fresh faces were soaking up her speech- some in awe of the equipment surrounding them.

“So.. uh, there’s this one intern,” Arizona started. To Teddy’s dismay, a shuffle of footsteps made her best friend pause.

“Altman!” Webber called gruffly. Teddy turned immediately to the door to find the Chief of Surgery crowding it. “I need to talk to you, privately.”

“Yes, sir.” She was already out of her seat. Her power couple shared confused, worried glances. Teddy mouthed to them. ‘What’s going on?’

Arizona and Callie’s best supporting smiles weren’t at all consoling to Teddy’s confused brain.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

She needed to get her own place soon.

Cristina Yang was a reasonably sociable person. But, what practically constituted a frat house of five people was just way too much chaos than Cristina would like to handle. Not to mention that the sofa that she was crashing on couldn’t pull, and she had heard that some crazy lady had peed on it once.

No, not even the presence of her best friend since college, her person through thick and thin, Meredith Grey, was enough to tempt her to stay.

But the thought of being alone right now.. She might as well check herself back with her psychiatrist that she had recently graduated from, and get the nausea-inducing antidepressants she had been on.

All things considered, Cristina just had to suffer through Alex Karev’s asshole antics, Izzie Stevens’ constant mothering, and Meredith and Addison’s lovesickness.

“First day,” Izzie grinned at her, pouring coffee into a mug before busying herself in a bowl of cracked eggs. “Excited?”

“Please, I’ve been through it before,” Cristina scoffed.

True that it was her first day at Seattle Grace Hospital, but it wasn't her first as an intern. Cristina knew better than to be excited. First days were meant to be rough, hard. Despite the promise of Meredith being her resident, she already anticipated trouble. It was one thing being a repeater as a first year resident; but, as a fourth year resident already specializing?

Disaster.

Cristina wished, not for the first time, that it hadn’t been her circumstances. What had happened in Minnesota was.. traumatic. She couldn’t step foot inside an OR; she couldn’t roam the halls of the hospital without getting an episode; she couldn’t bear the absence of her mentor, Dr. Thomas, the death of him that reminded her so much of her father. It was unbearable.

So, she quit.

Down the drain, her whole four years of residency went.

Meredith had picked her up from lying on her hardwood floor with nothing but vodka bottles to keep her company, checked her into therapy, and stayed with her throughout the sordid fallout. It took her a while before Cristina could relight that spark in herself again. So, when Meredith had Webber pull some strings so that she could return to medicine, she grasped the opportunity with all she was worth. Even if it would cost her seven years.

“Don’t think that because you’re friends with Meredith and that we’re roommates mean that I’m going to go easy on you,” Alex said, taking the seat next to hers as he began munching down his breakfast.

“You’re not even my resident,” Cristina dismissed. Karev gave her a devilish grin. Two months living in Meredith’s house, she was starting to understand why Meredith and Izzie called him ‘Evil Spawn.’ 

“Too many noises this morning,” Meredith grumbled sleepily from the door frame before she made her way to the group. The lack of Addison by her side told Cristina that the neonatal surgeon had been on-call last night.

“Cristina’s first day,” Izzie beamed from the stove. She slid two french toasts onto their respective plates. Izzie was, yet another, roommate of Meredith and fellow resident in her friend’s class, all optimistic and perky.

“Not my first day,” Cristina interjected.

“I get to officially be your boss now, Yang,” Alex said. Cristina thought of slapping the toast to his face, but she forewent it, minding Izzie’s efforts in cooking it.

“Gag,” Cristina retorted.

“That’s no way to speak to your resident.” Alex pointed a finger.

“Keep talking if you want me to tell the other interns that you cried to Titanic ,” she threatened with a quirk of her eyebrow.

“Okay, way too early to play the middleman,” Meredith scolded both of them. “Alex, don’t you have a liver transplant on a kid with Robbins and Bailey in thirty minutes?”

“Crap,” Alex stood up abruptly, checking his watch before bolting upstairs. Cristina guessed it was to get properly dressed.

Grinning with triumph, she swallowed the bite of her french toast, kicking her feet to let out the extra energy.

“Don’t look so smug, you and I have that orientation in an hour. And, you need to get your scrubs first,” Meredith reminded with a nudge to her elbow. “We might be friends but I’m not helping you find the locker room.”

“Crap,” was all Cristina could say. Rising to her feet in record time, she gulped the last of her coffee down before shoving her textbooks that she was going to stuff in her locker into her bag, and slipped into her kicked sneakers. 

“Wait,” Meredith called, quickly following her through the foyer and out of the front door. Cristina couldn’t afford to stop, though. It was a ten minute ride on her bike from here to the Hospital, and she needed to spare time in case she got lost. All interns got lost. It was a hazing ritual.  “There’s something.. I should’ve told you months ago.”

“What?” Cristina replied without much thought. She was already straddling the motorbike.

“Teddy’s here.”

Cristina felt her body going slack. "Teddy, as in..."

Meredith nodded with an apologetic smile.

She searched Meredith’s face to see if there was any sign of her joking.

“ What?” Her voice was low. She couldn’t help the nerves across her skin recepting every bit of wind as her heart pounded harshly in her ears.

“I know I should’ve told you from the start but this is your only chance to get back on the saddle,” Meredith started to ramble.

“What do you mean she’s here?” 

“She’s our head of Cardio,” Meredith admitted. 

“ Cardio? Meredith, I’m Cardio!” Cristina began to panic.

“No, no. No panicking. You know, she hasn’t said anything to me about.. you two. Maybe she forgot?”

Cristina chuckled dryly. “If Addison broke up with you as badly as I did Teddy, trust me. You won’t forget.”

Meredith frowned.

“Just,” Cristina shook her head, waving a hand as if it could dismiss her wildly running thoughts. “Does she know that I’m..?” she trailed off, leaving ‘ the repeating intern’ unspoken.

“I don’t know,” Meredith sighed.

“Jesus,” Cristina slumped on the bike. Her day had just gone from potential disaster to definite disaster.

“Also, you should know that Arizona Robbins and Callie Torres are here too,” Meredith added with a wince. “Arizona’s head of peds, Callie’s ortho.”

“Great,” Cristina moaned from the cold dashboard. “My ex-girlfriend and her two best friends are my bosses.”

“Technically, I am your boss, too,” Meredith smiled sympathetically, patting her shoulder lightly.

“Not helping, Mer,” Cristina warned tiredly. “So not helping.”

The bike ride from Meredith’s house to Seattle Grace Hospital did nothing to clear her head.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

“Richard?” Teddy prompted after Webber had dragged her into the quieter side of the hallway.

“I need you to personally take on an intern. Cristina Yang.”

It felt as if Webber had just stabbed her heart with a blunt object.

“ Cristina Yang ,” Teddy repeated for clarity. Even the taste of her name was bitter. “She’s here?”

Webber only gave her a puzzled look.

Teddy shook her head and amended her response, “why?” She was going to assume that Webber was unaware of their.. history.

“Why? Because you’re Dr. Teddy Altman? Harper Avery Award recipient, Altman heiress? If that doesn’t scream ‘woo’ to her-”

Woo? “Why are we wooing her?” Teddy bit out.

Webber stared at her exasperatedly as if she should know why already, handing her a manila folder. Dr. Cristina Yang, M.D., Ph.D. “Dr. Yang is restarting her residency training. She was a fourth year cardiothoracic resident at Mayo under Dr. Craig Thomas when there was a shooting.”

Teddy remembered the news and the godawful extra security measures that Webber had put in place. Last year, an enraged husband of a former patient killed a number of medical personnels at Mayo Clinic. There was possibly a documentary about it, too, but Teddy had been too busy to sit down and watch. It would only be depressing.

B.S. in Biology at UCLA, Ph.D. in Biochemistry at UCB, M.D. at Stanford. All first in her class. 99th percentile of the final USMLE.

“Dr. Yang performed a bullet removal surgery on her Chief of Surgery with a gun to her head, then watched Dr. Thomas, her mentor, died of a cardiac arrest after the shooter had been contained. The American Board of Surgery declared that she had left Mayo’s residency program.” Webber took a deep breath. “But, now she is asking for another chance to be a surgeon. We will give that to her. And, we will make sure that when she’s completed training, she will stay at Seattle Grace.”

“Why can’t she just continue her residency? Why start over?”

“She matched into their specialized Cardiothoracics surgical program. Our program is General.” 

When her heart squeezed, hearing that she had been in a traumatic event, Teddy scolded it for betraying her resolve. She wasn’t going to care for that woman again.

Then why did her body ache to search the hospital for her and take Cristina into her arms?

Teddy forced herself to remember the horrible pain that woman had put her through in her last year of med school. The indignity of her futile pleas still haunted her.

“No,” she forced the words out. Teddy internally winced at Webber’s hardened look.

“Excuse me?” Webber raised his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, Chief, but I can’t.” Her head was still swimming at the presence of Cristina Yang in her hospital; her heart was sending her into different directions all over. A minute. She needed a minute. Perhaps two, or an hour.

“No, you’re missing the part where this is an order, Dr. Altman. After her orientation, she will come find you,” Webber said, his tone low. “And she better have found you.”

Chapter Text

“Meredith!” Cristina groaned impatiently. 

She glared at her roommate and only friend, who was enjoying herself with this puppy under a blossoming Jacaranda tree. The scene should be cute. On any other day, Cristina would have joined Meredith.

That was a lie, she wouldn’t have joined Meredith in entertaining some furry. 

Still, they were due in Calc 1 in ten minutes, at a building with an ancient name where Cristina had yet to find a sign directing them to their destination. Cristina Yang did not do tardiness, especially on the first day of classes. But judging from the giggles coming from Meredith, she was about to be very late.

“Oh, who’s a good boy,” Meredith cooed, using her scarf to lead the mutt to a circle. “Come on, Cristina. Stop with the grumpy face, he’s so cute. Oh yes, you are.”

“Okay, you know what? Have fun. I’m not going to be late for class because you couldn’t keep it together with a canine,” Cristina waved a finger, her other hand through her hair. At Meredith’s mock offended gasp, she stomped her feet in frustration. “Say goodbye to the damn dog! It’s me or him.”

Meredith took a long look at the wagging tail creature. Cristina was about to say something when they heard a deep female voice from the other direction.

“Daisy!”

The call was responded to by the dog with a woof before it jumped in that direction. The small canine pawed its feet happily at the red haired woman’s legs. Nothing about the woman looked cheap, down to her perfectly curled hair. Her stance was that of someone who knew what she was doing. She was definitely attractive.

Tilting her head, Cristina saw the slight awe in her friend’s expression underneath. This was when she knew that they were definitely going to be late. Correction, Meredith was going to be late, while she was going to remove herself from the situation.

“Hi,” Meredith waved at the redhead, her tone shy. The dog ran back to her the minute it heard her voice, turning back at the redhead as if it was trying to invite the other woman to each other.

“Hello,” The redhead greeted with a smile. “I’m Addison.”

“Meredith.” Her beam couldn’t be any brighter. Cristina picked up the invisible butterflies and tension between the two women.

No, a silly little romance was not going to get between her and her good first impressions with professors.

“See you in class,” Cristina whispered to the flustered Meredith before taking off. A confused ‘what?’ followed her, but no footsteps. Instead, Cristina heard Addison ’s voice floating in mix with her friend’s.

With a campus portable map in hand, Cristina tried to find the building that she had circled previously. That wouldn’t be her only problem, though, since she could barely tell where she even was currently. Cristina checked her watch again. Five minutes.

Absorbed in navigation, it had been too late when she noticed a person incoming. The collision sent her stumbling, but not hard enough to knock her off of her feet. The same couldn’t be said for the other person, a very tall blonde with a long face. If glares could kill, Cristina was sure she would be dead.

But, she really did not have time for this.

Muttering a curse and a silent apology, Cristina walked away- rather, ran away. There was a distinct “ Hey!” behind her, which she really couldn’t care less. She did kind of care. There was a smidge of guilt running in her system right now; but she cared more about the class.

What Cristina did not notice was the lack of her wallet’s weight in her pocket when she fled the scene.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Picking herself up from the concrete path, Teddy rubbed her ass. It was going to bruise, or as she should say ecchymosis . She was going to be sore for at least a week, and Arizona and Callie were not going to let up on teasing her.

She did not receive an apology for being shoved to the floor. But, that was hardly the worst part.

The worst part was that her heart had picked up its rate when Teddy saw the face of the person who had just collided into her. Her wild brown eyes and black curls were seared into Teddy’s memory.

Teddy looked around, slightly embarrassed. Logically, no one would really know that she had just been knocked on her ass. It was hardly going to make the tabloids nor the gossip sites, but there still was that pesky little voice in her head. Teddy recognized Addison from her clinical skills class last year, talking to a freshface blonde with a dog jumping between the women’s feet. A purple flower landed on the blonde’s hair. Addison tucked it over the blonde’s ear. It reminded Teddy of a scene from a romcom. Too bad that she and Addison weren’t that close; it was an amazing teasing material.

Dusting off her jeans, Teddy was about to continue her walk to class when her foot caught something on the ground.

A wallet.

She picked it up with curiosity. It hadn’t been there when she last noticed the ground. She deducted that it might belong to the girl that had human-hurricaned her. Teddy flipped the wallet open to find a student ID on display.

Cristina Yang.

The cocky face framed with thick curly hair was staring back at Teddy. She placed the image to her mental image of the human-hurricane girl. 

Teddy wasn’t sure what had come over her when she tucked the wallet into her tailored bag. All she really knew was that she wanted to see the girl again.

The ‘how’ and the ‘why,’ she would deal with them later.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Cristina made it to class barely on time. Still on time. The same couldn’t be said for Meredith who Cristina noticed slid to the back row halfway through the class with a Jacaranda on her ear. As soon as they were out of the lecture hall, Meredith had begged her to share the syllabus and go over the introductory notes. Cristina only agreed because the cafe that Meredith proposed had nice bakeries.

She had already placed the order, black coffee and a blueberry muffin, when she reached into her hind pocket, only to find it empty. Panic ebbing her mind, she nudged Meredith. “Can you cover me?”

Meredith narrowed her eyes. “Only because I’m getting something in return.”

“Thank you,” Cristina breathed in relief.

A tray for each person, they made their way to the available table by the window. Cristina slid her opened notebook towards Meredith who quickly scribbled the words down on hers. Peeling her bakery, Cristina couldn’t help but point at the flower.

“I don’t recall you wearing a flower when I left,” Cristina grinned lightly.

Meredith only blushed before diving back into her notebook. “Addison says it looks cute.”

“Ooh, Addison ,” Cristina enunciated the name. “Are you sure that she meant it looks cute, or you look cute?”

“Shut up,” Meredith bit, but her smile betrayed her words. “She’s just really nice.”

“And hot,” Cristina added.

“Cristina!” Meredith kicked her foot as a warning.

“Are you telling me that she’s not hot?”

“She is very hot,” Meredith said, her blush deepening. “But I am not going to think about her that way.”

“Uh-huh,” Cristina hummed to her muffin.

“She’s a third year med student,” Meredith whispered. “She’s not going to be interested in some pre-med freshman.”

“Please,” Cristina snorted. “The way she was eyeing you? Definitely interested.”

“God,” Meredith groaned. Finished with the last written word, she slid the notebook back to Cristina. “We’ll see.”

Cristina was so going to enjoy the live entertainment of her friend’s love life.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

“So you pickpocket your bodychecker?” Callie summarized the events that Teddy had just told. Callie Torres was her best friend’s girlfriend- future fiancée if Arizona would gather the courage already.

“I did not pickpocket my bodychecker! She dropped it!” Teddy protested. “She didn’t even bodycheck me. More like a hurricane blew past me.” 

“Onto your ass,” Callie snickered. While she examined the picture on the student ID, Arizona poked her head in before grabbing the card to closely look. “She’s cute, though,” Callie mused. 

“Cristina Yang. Sounds familiar,” Arizona tilted her head. Suddenly, her eyes widened as a knowing grin broke out. “Professor Johnson’s first year Calculus class!”

“Miss Social,” Callie quipped with a fond smile.

“I’m TAing that class, I should know.” Arizona hit her girlfriend’s arm playfully. “So, are you going to return the wallet?”

“I guess,” Teddy sighed. “I mean, I’m not about to steal from her. That’s just wrong.”

Callie only laughed, which earned herself a warning glare from Arizona.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Arizona hummed, turning towards Teddy. “Johnson has another Calc 1 class on Thursday. It's over by 11, if you’d like to know.”

“I would like to know, thank you very much,” Teddy said, grabbing the leather wallet and the student ID back. “Maybe this time I’ll get something other than ‘shit.’”

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Between listening to Meredith’s gushing over her new ‘friend,’ Addison’s texts and plans for a date, and attempting to keep her course syllabuses organized, Thursday couldn’t have come soon enough for Cristina. She was ready, hungry for the actual materials and not just the deadlines and assignments.

The lecture flew by fast, but her hand worked faster in writing down notes and formulas. Cristina was almost bummed when the professor told her that it would be all for today. Clipping her pen to her notebook, she rose to her feet, joining Meredith, who had gotten dragged by some bambi earlier, in front of the hall.

“Hey, George asked if we want to go to a party at his dorm this weekend,” Meredith said without much interest.

“Who?” Cristina scrunched her face.

“George, O’Malley, him,” Meredith pointed somewhere to the flock of people migrating to the common stairway.

Cristina hummed noncommittally. “Do we want to go?”

“Addison is hosting a party too this Saturday,” Meredith mentioned with a lowered voice.

“So, are you going to go to Addison’s upperclassmen’s party, or George’s nobody party?”

“ We are going to Addison’s,” Meredith said, a slight red hue tinting her cheeks.

“Oh, it’s a we? ” Cristina questioned.

“You’re coming as moral support.” Meredith linked her arm to hers before dragging her along with the flow of people.

Cristina was about to open her mouth when she heard her name.

“Cristina Yang?” 

She turned around with a frown. A tall blonde woman, most likely older than herself, with what Cristina swore was the prettiest shade of green eyes was staring back at her. She scolded herself for getting lost in them before hardening her expression.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

The gorgeous blonde simply waved a familiar leather wallet.

Her leather wallet, to be exact.

“Oh,” Cristina felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment. Now, she remembered. That was the blonde she had bumped into two days ago. Her side tingled with heat, learning that it had just been in contact with that slim frame.

“Ohhh,” Meredith sing-songed. Cristina harshly sent a hushed ‘shut up’ her way. To no avail, Meredith’s grin only widened.

After ducking a few other students as she made her way through them, she finally stood face to face with the blonde woman who only handed her the wallet with a smirk on her face.

“Thanks,” Cristina mumbled out. She hated feeling shy, but really, her count for faux-pas with this woman was already at two.

Her fingers accidentally brushed against the other woman. It sent shivers up Cristina’s spine. She did not like that gooey feeling, either. Cristina yanked the wallet to herself a little too forcefully than she had intended.

“You’re welcome.”

Before Cristina could compose herself, the woman had already turned her back and walked away. Her long strides had carried her long gone when Cristina’s brain finally caught up.

She didn’t even get her name.

“Who’s that?” Meredith asked with a playful lilt.

“I.. I don’t know,” Cristina fought hard against the smile that was tugging at her lips. She looked at her wallet again.

“You don’t know? How did she find you?”

It was an excellent question.

Cristina shook her head, shoving the wallet back where it belonged before looping her arm in Meredith’s. “So, Addison’s party."

“Alright, so…”

Her friend’s voice was already in the background as Cristina thought about those mirthful green eyes again.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

The music could be heard outside of the quaint traditional house. They were a bit far off campus, but to Cristina, the neighborhood looked similar to Beverly Hills. It was the only thing that kept her from internally doubting Meredith’s sense of direction.

She let Meredith do the honor of knocking on the door.

“Hi,” came Addison’s pleased tone, accompanied by clearer music.

“Hi,” Meredith waved, smiling. Cristina thought that it was a little pathetic.

“Come in, make yourself comfortable. Drinks are over there,” Addison pointed to what resembled a living room minus the gargle of people.

Cristina patted Meredith on the shoulder as a silent gesture that she was going to venture off. Judging from the slightly awkward, sparks charged looks her friend and Addison were sharing, she would just be third-wheeling. The ominous drink in the glass bowl was calling her name. Cristina ladled herself a cup, taking up a spot on the empty.

Scanning the room, Cristina noticed that it was only full of older people. Not too old, just med students-like, considering Addison was a medical student. She had a fleeting thought about hooking up with one; these people were supposed to be ‘wiser’ than her, after all.

Cristina felt a stare, but couldn’t locate the source. It was one of the tingly sixth sense things. Cristina’s eyes carefully swept through the room again before her gaze locked with a pair of sparkling green eyes.

She would recognize them anywhere. The mental image from Thursday had been replaying in her head like a broken tape.

The woman was making her way towards Cristina now. The anticipation fluttering in her stomach caught her off guard.

“Hey,” the woman seated herself next to Cristina, thigh to thigh. It tingled where their skin touched. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“My friend’s.. something with the girl that’s hosting,” Cristina took a sip of her spiked punch as a front to appear more.. put together.

The woman laughed, and Cristina felt the heat crawling up her neck.

“I still haven’t caught your name.”

“Maybe that’s part of the mystery,” the woman wiggled her brows.

“That’s terrible,” Cristina found herself laughing either way.

“Yeah, I just heard it, too. It sounded way better in my head,” the woman winced before joining her.

“So, you’re a med student?” Cristina tried a different direction. Repeating herself wasn’t something Cristina did, and she liked a good puzzle.

“Mhmm,” she nodded with a wry smile. “Just started third year.”

“I want to go to med school,” replied Cristina.

There was a hint of surprise on the woman’s features.

“I want to be the best cardiothoracic surgeon. I will be the best cardiothoracic surgeon.”

“You sound pretty sure of yourself,” the woman said, impressed. Cristina was used to that.

She only shrugged in response.

“I like your tenacity.”

Normally, others would say it a tad condescendingly, like it was a childish notion. But, the way that this woman said it warmed Cristina’s insides, like she genuinely liked it, was impressed by it.

Cristina tried to appear nonchalant, but when some guy plopped down next to the woman, sending her closer, and her hand seemed to have found Cristina’s, composure went out the window quickly.

She couldn’t keep her head straight with that.

The woman fished something out of her jacket pocket, Cristina later realized that it was a marker pen when its wet tip touched her arm. She was too flustered to actually look. 

Once the tip was gone and the woman’s other hand let up the grip on her arm, Cristina took a peek. Numbers, followed by a sleek heart.

“Call me,” she patted the skin, squeezing Cristina’s hand. “You’re an interesting person.”

Before Cristina could react, again, she had already disappeared into the dancing crowd, leaving her with a stammering heart.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

It wasn’t until Teddy reached Addison’s kitchen that she allowed herself to breathe. Arizona and Callie were making out, but she was in a crisis. Teddy didn’t feel too bad about interrupting the heavy session.

“What the fuck did I just do?” Teddy breathed, panicked.

“What did you do?” Arizona repeated, disentangling herself from her girlfriend with a concerned look, as Callie buried her face into the blue eyed blonde’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.” Teddy paced around, glancing back at the direction of the living room. “I gave Cristina Yang my number. I think I might have been flirting with her.”

“You think you might have flirted with her, or you did flirted with her?” Arizona asked again for clarification.

“I don’t know! We were talking and it all felt very nice, you know, so I just.. wrote her my number and left,” Teddy rushed her words. Hands in her hair, she felt like yanking them out. An image of Cristina laughing floated across her mind again; she felt her cheeks warming.

“Cougar,” Callie said amusedly.

“This is so not a cougar situation.” Teddy waved a finger, finally stopping her wild pace. “I mean, it’s normal, right? This is the normal get-to-know someone thing?”

“Yeah, you do remember that we aren’t the best to answer that, right?” Arizona looked knowingly at Callie who only seconded that statement.

“We literally met on a softball field, then I asked her out in a bar in front of her date,” Callie told with a wince. “But hey, I mean, we're working out very well. You’ll survive.”

“Oh my god,” Teddy groaned. Her phone rang, and Teddy nearly jumped out of her skin. 

That excitement was short-lived, though, when she saw ‘Andrew’ as the caller ID instead of ‘Unknown caller.’ She pressed the decline button. 

The pair watched her with interest, their faces ashening at Teddy’s slow shake of her head and an annoyed look.

“Is your mom still hoping that the two of you will get together?” Arizona asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded. The thought of that killed the butterflies in her stomach. “I keep telling her no, but, urghh.”

Arizona and Callie shared a look.

“So, this Cristina,” Arizona started. “Tell us about her.”

Chapter Text

The first thing that Teddy had noticed about Cristina was that she didn’t appear to have changed physically. Her curls still were as mussed and inviting to run her hand through them as it did nearly a decade ago.

Second thing was the way Cristina held herself. Wired, tense, still projecting her confidence but also quite beaten down. Teddy tried not to be so taken aback. Cristina wore her old cocky posture better.

Third came her eyes– how Teddy had loved the expressiveness of those chocolate eyes. She remembered once, on the grass, just the two of them and a pile of textbooks and notepads, and Cristina’s eyes had been sparkling. 

Now, those eyes seemed hollow.

Not caring anymore, Teddy reminded herself inwardly.

Long sure strides, she reached the charts station in three steps. There was a shuffling noise and squeaks of sneakers behind her, and an uncomfortable clear of throat. She didn’t turn back; she already knew who it was.

The person didn’t say anything. Teddy opted to remain silent, squaring her shoulders and trying not to grip the folders too tightly. She wanted to appear indifferent.

Silence was awkward. Horribly, suffocatingly, awkward.

“Teddy-”

“It’s Dr. Altman, ” she corrected.

“Dr. Altman,” Cristina tried again. Teddy tried to ignore the pang of hurt. It was as if the years hadn’t healed the wounds.

Words fell short after that.

Teddy sucked the side of her cheek before turning around, shoving the multiple folders into Cristina’s hands. “I have rounds. I assume that you have done this before.” She kept walking, not turning to make sure that Cristina was following her.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Cristina presented the cases, rushedly reading from the charts room to room. Teddy had quizzed her in front of the patients which she tried to answer her best; but she was incredibly off her game. Though, it wasn’t the time away from practicing medicine that threw her off. It was Teddy.

Her ex-girlfriend whom she still pined for despite the years and the explosive ending, in front of her, reasonably hating her guts.

No verbal acknowledgement was given, but Cristina knew Teddy– knew her so carnally, emotionally, intellectually. She knew that it was pure hatred in the still prettiest green eyes.

Teddy didn’t spare a glance her way throughout the morning, unless she absolutely had to then she would with the most disdained look. It hurt– like infinite punches to the stomach.

She should apologize. They should be professional about this on hospital grounds.

Disappearing into an OR, Teddy had ordered her to transcribe the shorthand on the charts into report notes and run labs on her patients. It wasn’t the OR job Cristina was hoping to do, but she guessed that her first step into one should be less stressful than if she entered one with Teddy currently.

It was a simple procedure that any resident could do it anyway; just the fact that Cardio didn’t have a resident on this shift meant that Teddy either had to do it herself or had Cristina do it. Apparently, Teddy preferred not to see her face and chose the former.

She was charting when a nurse came up next to her, grabbing a pen from the cup near her hands. There was a brush of skin; Cristina willed herself not to jump at that. 

“You’re the fourth-year turn intern, right?” the nurse asked.

Mildly offended but hardly surprised, she swirled the chair. “And?”

“Nothing,” the nurse shrugged. “Pretty admirable that you're still pursuing this after what you’ve been through.”

“Does everybody know?” The panic she was trying hard not to show was bubbling onto the surface.

“No, I just overheard the Chief of Surgery talking to Dr. Altman about a special intern. I’m guessing that’s you, since you’re on her service.”

“Oh,” Cristina breathed. Finishing off 2132’s chart, there was one more to go, but she could use a social break. “Yes.”

“I’m Elaine,” the nurse said, stretching her hand out with a coy smile. It was hard not to pick up Elaine’s intention; but, she was Cristina’s type. It had been some time since she was last in a relationship, or a hookup, for that matter.

If she wanted to work in the same hospital as the bitter love of her life, Cristina was definitely going to need a distraction. Blonde, tall, but Elaine had blue eyes. It was fine, she guessed.

“Cristina, Yang,” she replied, taking the proffered hand with a slow shake, making sure her fingers traced the hand as she took it back. There was a gleam in Elaine’s blue eyes.

Her eyes didn’t twinkle so brightly as Teddy’s. It was fine.

“I have tonight off. What do you say we go out?”

“Intern, remember? My shift has,” Cristina checked her watch. “42 hours left.”

“Shame,” Elaine pouted. “Well, Cristina, here is my number. Call me when you have time for drinks.” She slipped a piece of paper into Cristina’s hand– Cristina didn’t realize when Elane had time to do that. “Pretty necklace.”

Oh.

“Thanks,” Cristina said, her finger instinctively moving to touch the jewel.

Cristina had completely forgotten about the metal chain, dangling a small marquise cut yellow-green chrysoberyl, around her neck. It was an anniversary gift from Teddy years ago that she had stored away deep enough in her jewelry box up until she was frantically redoing her whole place just for the sake of putting her mind into something.

She had been a mess around that time. The silver chain was metal, and the stone was genuine; with the Minnesota tundra-like cold, the necklace was what pulled Cristina out of her panic attacks most of the time.

It might also be that she was taking some comfort from their memories and all that she associated with the necklace.

Elaine was long gone as Cristina’s eyes searched the open area. Instead, she locked eyes with Teddy who had an unreadable expression on her face. There was a little blood on Teddy’s neck; she looked amazing. Like a cardiothoracic surgeon.

When Cristina realized that Teddy was making her way towards her, she tried to appear as if she had just finished the charts, waiting for the next step. Teddy was hovering over her now, intensely fixating on her.

She realized that Teddy was staring at the necklace.

“Why are you wearing it?”

“Wearing what?” Playing dumb might not be the best course of action, but Cristina did anyway.

“My necklace.” 

Cristina's heart skipped at the word ‘my.’ She thought that she could be masochistic in continuing to push her luck. “I like it.” 

“You've lost the right to wear it long ago.”

“Well, you gave it to me. It's mine. I can wear it whenever I like.”

“Lose it.” The pure acidity in Teddy’s tone stung . Cristina knew that she had probably deserved it, but she couldn’t deny her nature of not backing down. She pushed back the hot liquid brimming her eyes.

“No.”

“This isn’t going to work for me. Go find Dr. McQueen after lunch. I'll clear it with Chief- I don't care what string you'd pulled. You’re off my service. I don’t want to see you anymore. I’ve never wanted to see you again.”

Cristina fought the tears clouding her peripheral vision as Teddy walked away.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Making her way to the nearest available on-call room as fast as possible, Teddy felt the balls of her feet aching with each hard hit of her steps. She locked the door before sinking to the floor, letting the breath she had been holding out. It came with tears. Holding them was hopeless.

She hated Cristina.

She loved Cristina.

She despised Cristina.

She wanted to tell the random nurse who was flirting with Cristina to piss off.

She wanted to tell the nurse “hey, look out, she’ll rip your heart into shreds and leave you crying for weeks, nearly missing your USMLE.”

She felt weirdly good that Cristina was wearing the necklace.

She wanted to kill Cristina for wearing the necklace.

Thoughts were swarming Teddy’s head. Emotions would just be too overwhelming to actually feel, so she put it off. She put off processing the thoughts, too.

Pacing the length of the small room was unsatisfying. She needed to let off the energy, the pent-up-ness. She couldn’t cut into people’s chests with this much shaking, anyway.

Gathering herself, putting up the best ‘level-headed’ front she could, Teddy headed for the gym and hoped that no one was occupying the sole boxing sandbag.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Cristina relayed the whole ‘story’ to Meredith at lunch. Curious and envious eyes of other interns were burning the back of her head for sitting with Medusa , but she really couldn’t care less. She needed this off her chest.

“Okay, so it’s not going well,” Meredith summarized with a wince.

“Not going well is clashing over something. This is catastrophic. She hates my guts, and reasonably so,” Cristina nearly yelled out of frustration. “I swear, I cannot catch a break.”

“McQueen isn’t half bad. He's a good surgeon.”

“I can’t live with good, Meredith.”

“There’s only two attendings,” Meredith said. In actuality, McQueen wasn’t really an Attending. He was a Fellow, but granted the same autonomy as an Attending would have. “Sorry,” she added later, wincing, “Altman's the best. Maybe you just need to beg and grovel some more.”

“Trust me, no amount of begging and groveling will do it, not after what I did.” 

“If it’s about the breakup-”

“It’s not the breakup, it’s how I broke us up,” she stressed the words, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell her the truth.” Meredith swung a fry on her fork before eating it.

“It would have broken her heart! It would have torn her from her family.  Between ‘girlfriend’ and family..” she left the rest unsaid.

“With that kind of family..” Meredith trailed off

“I can't do that to her. I won’t force her to choose between me and her parents.”

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

“Richard!” Teddy called, picking up her paces to catch the Chief before he entered his office.

“Altman, hi, how is Dr. Yang?” He signaled for her to follow him in, like he already had something in mind about to inquire her. Teddy wasted no time after she closed the door behind her.

“I will agree to having her on extra Cardio rotation but she will be on Dr. McQueen’s service.”

“I beg your pardon?” Disbelief in his features was prominent. “It is an order, Dr. Altman, that-”

“I know, I don’t care, I’m pulling the last name card. I can’t-” she sucked in a breath. “I won’t have her on my service.”

“Are there personality differences? Is Dr. Yang not ready to be in an OR?” asked Richard less calmly, worried.

“It’s not personality differences, and I don’t know. I just can’t have her. We have a history.”

It was as far as she could go without delving into their harrowing history. Webber seemed to finally understand that there was a deeper meaning.

“I see,” Richard conceded. Turning the door open, Teddy was about to walk out. “I accept your terms. But, I hope that you will change your mind someday for both your sake and hers.”

“I don’t care about her sake,” she bit out before slipping away completely.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Dr. McQueen was, as Meredith said, a good, ordinary surgeon. Cristina could see that. She had worked with many good, ordinary surgeons, had displayed skills that surpassed those surgeons. The problem was she didn’t need ‘good.’ She couldn’t live with ‘ordinary.’

Cristina needed ‘best’ and ‘extraordinary.’

Cristina needed Teddy– Dr. Altman. Professionally, she mentally added later.

Teddy was, on paper, creative, risk-taking with many good outcomes, and she knew personally just how brilliant Teddy was. Professionally, she would challenge Cristina, and would complement the traditional methods she had learned from Dr. Thomas, and hone the more modern techniques she learned herself.

“I don’t want to see you anymore. I’ve never wanted to see you again.”

She probably had more chances at pushing Dr. McQueen to step out of the ordinary and exceed his current caliber than Teddy agreeing to let her around.

Waiting for McQueen’s patients’ lab results, Cristina sighed hard. She would rather be cutting into hearts. Worse, she would settle for an angioplasty.

She willed to God to let the hours fly by more quickly.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

It had been a while since Cristina had done a 48 hour shift. She had forgotten how brutal it was. The other interns were beyond exhausted. Some’s hands were shaking, and some were actually crying– Cristina already called that they would be the ones dropping out. The hand shakers would switch to an easier specialty. She saw potential in her group– the other two that were under Meredith. She didn’t bother befriending them though, none of the interns in this class really. She was here to get back on track, and she already had four friends who can match her skills better than these total morons.

Cristina slammed the locker shut before leaving the room, ‘goodbye’ and ‘goodnight’ floating somewhere behind that she didn’t care to reply.

Making her way to the parking lot, she had to pass the main entrance. She saw Teddy leaning against the glass railing, talking to who vaguely resembled Arizona Robbins and Callie Torres.

Ducking away, choosing the detour path that wouldn’t directly walk into Teddy’s line of sight, she attempted her best maneuver at blending in. She had thought she made it, through the door and outside in the cold hard rain, when she heard heavy footsteps quickly approaching her and felt a hand grabbing her bicep, spinning her around.

Teddy.

Angry, confused, a little bit of hurt, Teddy was in her navy blue scrubs and white coat. The blood droplets on her were gone from when Cristina had seen her last, her blonde hair pulled up into an easy bun.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded.

“So now we can talk?” Cristina humorlessly chuckled. After being let go this morning, she had tried desperately to find Teddy, at the very least to explain herself. The attempts were harshly unsuccessful.

“I asked, what the hell are you doing in my hospital.”

“Last time I checked, I’m not in Altman Medical Center, ” Cristina dragged the words bitterly. That hospital held too many memories, none of them good.

As Teddy’s eyes flashed, Cristina backtracked. She may be a bitch sometimes, but she remembered the pained pleas on the worst day of their shared history like they were fresh wounds. Sagging slightly, Cristina rolled her eyes, subconsciously licked her lips before she admitted.

“It's the only place that will accept me.”

“I know that,” Teddy scoffed. “Why’d you quit Mayo?”

Cristina weighed between giving her the curt version, versus the truthful, weak, version. “I can't be there anymore. I’m sure the Chief already told you that.”

“Tell me anyway.”

As soon as she looked into Teddy’s eyes, no matter how distrusting and wary they conveyed, she was helpless to mask it.

“There was a shooting. I found my ex Chief of Surgery lying in a pool of his blood. I took him to an OR and took the bullet out of his chest.” Cristina feels a phantom cold where the end of the gun had pressed into, just below her ear. “When.. when the shooter was contained, and my ex Chief was stable.. I finally got out. Found my mentor outside, said two words, then he dropped dead. Just like that.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Stress, they said. Heart attack. It was a pretty stressful situation that we went through, but he just died. ”

“Cristina..” Teddy whispered. Cristina pretended not to see the way her hands twitched like they were about to move and hold her. Her eyes, though, told Cristina of the words she was about to say.

“Don’t say that you’re sorry because we both know that you wouldn’t mean it. You hate me. You’re not really sorry for me-” her tone took into a near desperate one because if Teddy continued, her calm might dissolve.

“I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that you went through that.”

“You don’t mean that.” There was no way that Teddy meant that. She was supposed to hate her, to say “oh, karma,” or at the very least walk away.

“I do,” Teddy said firmly.

Cristina Yang was not a crier. But when Teddy was as gentle as she had always been, it was hard not to crash into her. Warm and soft was Teddy as she kept holding Cristina through the rollercoaster of emotions. For a moment, she felt like they had never been apart.

When Cristina was able to catch her breath, she felt Teddy freezing up before she was let go completely. The coldness of the rain embraced her instead, making the loss even more acute. There was conflict in Teddy's eyes as the blonde slowly took steps back, then completely fleeing away.

Empty.

It left– she left Cristina feeling empty.

With a little spark of hope that maybe she could salvage them.

Chapter Text

Cristina sat in her and Meredith’s regular table at the nearby breakfast joint, swinging her legs out of a nervous habit. The hall of the dorm was just too.. crowded and depressing, so, a diner they settled on. Meredith was paying for her sandwich and coffee, while she snagged the seat from a businessman.

Her arm was still tingly. She had saved the number on her phone before showering last night, listing the unnamed blonde as ‘Hot med student,’ which she deemed was a horrible nickname. The permanent marker was tricky to be washed off, but after a couple of scrubs, it finally came out.

The sentiment, however, only seeped deeper into Cristina’s mind.

She could recognize it as a game of flirting , but she was too afraid to call it that. It made it seem more real. 

“Okay, I need to tell you something,” Meredith gasped out, setting her tray of ham and eggs sandwich and coffee down. “I need you not to react.”

“I’m a wall,” Cristina deadpanned.

“I kissed Addison last night.”

Cristina bit her lip in order to keep her face neutral and not break out a grin. “Okay.”

“I kissed Addison Montgomery last night.”

“You did.” Cristina nodded, prodding at her own bacon and eggs sandwich. Her mind wandered back to the mysterious blonde’s lips, wondering how it would feel on hers, against hers.

Would they be damp like the tip of the pen? Would they taste like her lip gloss? What would her lip gloss taste like?

“I am panicking over the fact that I just kissed Addison,” Meredith said calmly before biting into her sandwich, then burying her whole face into her palm.

Which was ironic, since she was kind of panicking over her train of thought, too. If Meredith needed them not to talk about her kiss, then they were going to need a good distraction.

“Okay, so this morning we should probably go to the library and get the materials for Professor Jenning’s readings.”

“Good idea,” Meredith croaked from behind the hand.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

It had been a couple of days, and Teddy still jumped at every call, only to be disappointed that it wasn’t Cristina.

She was not thinking about her.

She was not not thinking about her.

It was hard to not think about her, really, when Teddy could look at the beige walls in the lecture hall and say that it was the color of Cristina’s shirt on the day they had met.

Exiting her cardiovascular class, the class reminded Teddy of Cristina and the sheer determination of her ‘I will be the best cardiothoracic surgeon.’

Ambition and ego was rampant in medical school. But none wore them as sexily as Cristina did. None had that spark, like she had a true calling for this and wasn’t hungry for its glory and money.

And, then there was Teddy who was here, in med school because it was the next natural step. She would have been suffering from impostor syndrome had her mother not shoved medical textbooks for her to read since high school.

So, Teddy scheduled a lunch with Callie and Arizona. Whether it was for advice, pep talk, or distraction, Teddy wasn’t sure herself. But as they were half plates into their meal, she couldn’t help but relay the thing to her friends again.

“What if I had misread the situation?”

“She might be busy. You know, she’s like razor focused in her class. Maybe it just.. slipped her mind," Arizona placated, ending with a wince at Teddy’s withered look.

“Or maybe she’s just as nervous as you are,” Callie offered. Arizona nodded vigorously at that.

“God,” Teddy groaned. Rubbing her eyes as if to physically remove the image of Cristina, she sighed hard. “I'm a mess.”

“A hot, gay mess,” Callie agreed before yelping. She glared at her girlfriend. Teddy guessed Arizona had just kicked her foot.

“You can stop by her calc class?” Arizona pitched.

“No!” Teddy shook her head, toying with her leftover fries. “I just need her to call me.”

“What are you going to say to her when she does?” Callie asked, curious.

Teddy stilled her oily fingers. She hadn’t thought about that.

“We’ll cross that bridge if she calls,” Teddy pushed away the warm gooey feeling.

“So, you’re hoping to cross the bridge, but have no idea what to do on that bridge?” Arizona clarified. Teddy nodded slowly with a dry smile. “I agree with Calliope, you’re a hot gay mess.”

“I hate both of you.”

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

“So, I am finally going to ask Addison out. On a proper date,” Meredith said from her dresser, picking out a few earrings to try on and see if it went with her dress.

Cristina flipped her medical terminology book that she had picked up days ago at the library to the next page, before halting in her actions just slightly. “Wait, you haven’t been on one yet?”

“No.” Meredith shrugged.

“So the calls, the texts, and the plans,” Cristina went on.

“Were just plans,” Meredith finished the sentence for her. Cristina shrugged before diving into the vocabulary again. “I’m nervous! I chickened out when she asked, hence, me asking her.”

She only hummed in response.

“I figured if I’m the one who did the asking, there won’t be an out for me, so, Randolph’s at 6 o’clock tonight.” Finally Meredith turned around, twirling a bit. “How do I look?”

Cristina wondered if she could find that courage in her, too, to do the asking, the calling. “Not bad.”

“Okay, what’s up with you?”

“What's up with me?” Cristina played dumb, spinning the highlighter in her hand after she lined the particularly interesting word.

“You've been.. acting weird since Addison’s party.”

At the mention of the party, the mysterious woman’s face burned into Cristina’s vision. She felt herself flush as the imagined woman flashed her that smile. Cristina hid her face in the terminology book.

“I'm not,” Cristina protested.

“What’s wrong? Do I need to kick some asses?” 

“No! It’s just.." Cristina sighed, sliding a bookmark between the pages before closing. Reading would be fruitless now that the can of worms had been opened, and the thought of that woman sprawled all over her mind. “Do you remember the woman who returned my wallet?”

Meredith hummed in positive.

“So uh, turns out, she’s a med student. She was at your girlfriend’s party and we.. talked a bit," Cristina tilted her head. “She wrote her number on my arm and told me to call her.”

“Wow,” Meredith breathed, her eyes gleaming.

Grabbing a pillow, Cristina buried her face into it as she relived the wet feeling on her arm again. She could scream into it, but she wasn’t going to give Meredith the satisfaction of seeing her very pent up over a girl.

“Tell me you called her,” Meredith demanded.

“I…” she squeaked.

“Cristina!” admonished Meredith. “It's been almost a week! she’s going to freak out.”

“ I’m freaking out here,” Cristina hissed, lifting her face from the fluffy bedding.

“You’ve got to call her!” 

“Oh, just because you’re in the beginning stages with Addison doesn’t mean that I have to be too!”

“You’re literally freaking out over her number. You’re already in the beginning stages," Meredith countered. She grabbed Cristina's phone, already scrolling through the contact list. “What's her name?”

“I.. hot med student,” Cristina relented. Glaring at Meredith's ‘oh’ face, she felt the urge to escape. “Oh, what?”

“You still haven’t gotten her name?” Meredith asked, amused. At Cristina's exaggerated plop, grabbing her pillow, rolling over and smothering herself with it, Meredith laughed. 

Before Cristina knew it, the familiar dial tone rang. She shoved the pillow off, springing to an upright position with a murderous glare at her roommate. “What the fuck did you just do?!”

“Good luck, see you after dinner, don’t forget to eat,” Meredith cheekily replied, thrusting the phone into her hand, as she left their shared dorm.

Cristina felt her heart raced faster with each passing buzz. She could hang up, but Cristina Yang did not quit. She persevered– which meant suffering through her stomach doing somersaults.

“Hello?” came the other line, the voice feminine and a bit hasty.

“Hi, uh.. this is Cristina,” she winced at how ungraceful it sounded.

“Oh, hey! I was waiting for your call, you sure took your time,” the other line teased.

“I was busy,” she defended herself weakly.

“Are you available this Wednesday?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She wasn’t exactly sure, but she wasn’t exactly busy either.

“What would you say to grabbing coffee? 9 am at Elysee.”

“I, yeah, great?”

“Great! Yay!” was all that came before the other line hung up.

Cristina blinked away the haze creeping up before quickly writing down the information on the nearest notepad

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Teddy tossed her phone the furthest she could on the table. It slid itself onto Arizona's lap, which the blonde quickly grabbed before it could fall off the library table.

“Great, yay?” Teddy made a face. She couldn’t believe she had actually said that.

“It’s concise,” Callie said, putting on her best convincing face.

“Expressive,” Arizona added. Then, she shook her head, waving her hand, as if she was going to try a different approach. “What's important is that you just scored a date.”

“With someone who probably thinks that I'm weird!” she hushedly yelled.

“She shoved you on your ass and hasn’t apologized for it, you’re not the weird one here,” Callie tried to soothe. “Or maybe you are because you’re clearly into her.”

“Callie!” Arizona breathed her girlfriend’s name exasperatedly. 

“It's just coffee, right?” Teddy tried to steady her heartbeat.

“Just coffee,” Arizona patted her knuckles.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

It was, in fact, not just coffee as Arizona had put it, but something a lot more fun. Conversation was freely running between them. Teddy wasn’t sure she had ever enjoyed discussing human anatomy, or liked the fact that she was in medical school this much before.

She was mesmerized by the way that Cristina's eyes lit up, especially coming alive when Teddy talked about hearts and the things that she had just learned in her cardiovascular class. Teddy liked that spark. She liked knowing that she played a part in putting it there.

Also, Teddy learned that Cristina liked croissants with butter and jam. She thought about baking and surprising her with them.

“So am I ever going to know your name?” Cristina asked playfully. Teddy could see the hesitation in her brown eyes, like she didn’t want their little game to end yet.

“Someday,” Teddy kept her tone light. “A lot of people approach me because of my name. I think I like you too much to ice you out if you suddenly turn out to be a suck-up.”

She swore she saw a blush adorning Cristina's cheeks.

“What should I call you, then?”

“Whatever you want,” Teddy replied without missing a beat. She noticed Cristina's fingers tightening around the croissant, her eyes- while averting hers- conveyed surprise and a gleam of challenge.

It surprised her too that she could make it sound this natural.

“And if I decide to just call you ‘mine?’”

She felt her face flushing hot, clutching at the table edge harder. In hindsight, she had the door to that comeback wide open. Her heart was beating wildly. She had never felt this alive before.

“I.. I think that while I might like that, it would probably be weird if you shout that across campus when you’re trying to get my attention," Teddy said slowly with a coy grin.

“True.” The tentative smile curled deeper into a wider one, like Cristina liked the challenging retort.

Teddy tilted her head, contemplating on whether or not to tell the girl her name. She loved the game, but it could quickly get old, too. “I’m Teddy, Teddy Altman.”

“Teddy Altman,” Cristina repeated like she was trying out the name, furrowing her brows. “I’ve never heard of you. What were you afraid of?”

“Altman. My parents own the corporation that funds a few hospitals and they run one in New York,” Teddy clarified. To hear surprise in Cristina’s brash tone was.. actually refreshing. A change of pace where she had to explain herself rather than let the last name do the talking like she found herself doing through the three years.

“Oh,” Cristina raised her brows, eyes widening. “I see.”

“Is this sincere or is this an act?” she decided to ask straightforwardly.

“I’m serious. I really have never heard of you.”

“Well, now you have,” Teddy smirked, popping the shredded muffin piece from Cristina’s plate to her mouth.

“Teddy Altman,” Cristina tried the name again, a smile toying at her lips. Teddy had never really thought about the pair of plump velvets before. “So, is this our first date?”

“You can say that,” she replied. To think of it now, Teddy began to like the prospect of this being a date.

“I like the sound of it.”

Chapter Text

Despite the events in front of the hospital on that rainy morning, Teddy was still cold– colder than Minnesota had been in winters– and refusing to talk, to even look at her. Cristina guessed that she would just have to learn to live with it. She was stuck here for the next five years, at least.

Days blurred into a month, and she was becoming more accustomed to Teddy walking away, refusing to be in the same room as her every time she could. The stomach never ceased to not clench at the rejection, but she was getting used to it. It also helped that she drowned that hurt in Elaine whom she had developed a half relationship with.

Was it called a relationship when it was simply just an escape, a convenience? It wasn’t subtstantial, either. Cristina settled on calling it a ‘half.’

McQueen, as Cristina found, was still ordinary . But, at least she could convince him to give her solo on the mitral valve replacement. Between dangling an opportunity for him to spend more time with his research, and assuring him that she could do it, she finally had a solo case.

Even if it had been a while since she was on a solo– lately, the only solo she had was giving stitches in the ER– she refused to acknowledge that she was slightly nervous. 

The research library, Cristina came to find, was quickly becoming her sanctuary. Book in her lap, a suture kit on the floor, she began visualizing the procedure, recalling the Minnesotan OR.

“What am I seeing about you on a valve replacement without an attending to supervise?”

Cristina nearly dropped the balance of the opened book at Teddy’s barging in. It was the first time they had even been in the same room together. “McQueen’s supervising,” she protested.

“It’s a valve replacement. Open heart surgery. McQueen will do it. You’re off the case.” Teddy folded her arms, leaning against the bookshelf.

“I’m not your resident!” 

“No, in case you forgot, I’m Chief of Cardio, and you’re an intern at Seattle Grace,” Teddy fired back without missing a beat.

“It was McQueen’s call,” she said, more hushedly at a fellow intern’s stink eye at her for being loud in a quiet zone. Her words weren’t entirely true, though, but she only did the swaying and the pestering. McQueen just gave her the green light. “I caught the defect. I deserve to do it.”

“Well then, I don’t trust his call. McQueen can consider himself off of this. I’m taking the case.”

“What?”

“You want to do the replacement? Fine, but I’m supervising.”

“I…” she stammered, at a loss of what to say. She didn’t have to come up with anything as Teddy had already pushed herself off the shelf and left the library. 

What the hell had just happened?

Her first solo surgery since the shooting– nerve wrecking in its own right– plus, the presence of Teddy looming over her each stitch and clamp?

Cristina wondered what she had ever done to piss the universe off so badly.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Ruthie Carlin laid on the operating table, heavily under anesthesia, as Cristina’s forceps finally retrieved the old valve. Teddy was sitting somewhere behind her with a magazine in hand. Cristina briefly wondered why she would switch with McQueen if all she was going to do was sit and read the Atlantic Monthly.

The monitors roared. Her clamp on the bleeding came off, followed by too much blood.

Dr. Parker, opened chest and bloodied, gun muzzle to the back of her ear.

“Breathe, Cristina,” her therapist said.

Antiseptic. Blood. The sharp scent of a sterile mask.

Ruthie Carlin. Mitral Valve Replacement.

A mitral valve replacement, a procedure that she had assisted many times, had dreamed of performing herself.

Cristina forced herself to focus on the chest cavity, quickly filling up with blood. The clamp wouldn’t hold– but it would be too risky to secure a stitch.

“Dr. Altman,” she turned around hastily, only to see Teddy completely unbothered, flipping through the next page of her magazine.

“Keep going, Yang,” Teddy said, unfazed.

Cristina wondered just how far Teddy’s hatred of her went, how far she would risk this patient. She wanted to yell that if this was because of their history, then Teddy wasn’t being professional about this. “Dr. Altman-”

“What does it tell you?”

That they were about to kill this patient, and face a ten million dollar lawsuit.  She barely kept her mouth shut of the retort in favor of the emergency before her.

“That I could clamp, but it wouldn’t hold, or I could stitch and risk exacerbating it,” Cristina said rushedly, directing a suction at the critical area. “And, I don’t know what to do.”

A calm, unbothered “I don’t know either,” was all she got.

So, she stitched. She stitched, and it held. Like a snap of the finger, she regained control again.

Cristina could dance right now.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Teddy released a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding when the monitor’s blares stabilized.

Maybe she had bit off more than she could chew, and that this was a miracle– a surgical miracle that Cristina had pulled off.

She could tell herself that she wasn’t going to let that patient get any worse, or that she had utterly complete faith in Cristina but that would be a lie, if she was being truthful to herself.

The monitors signaled Ruthie’s stable vitals steadily. Teddy slinked back to the chair and looked up at the gallery. She saw Grey and Karev at the edges of their seats, a few fresh faces in light blue scrubs with ghostly pale faces whispering among themselves, and Arizona who was looking straight at her with a pointed look.

At least her screw up did not go through.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

After calling Grey down to supervise Cristina’s closing, Teddy fled the OR quickly. She found an empty bench in one of the empty hallways and sunk into the cushion wearily.

Arizona was quick to catch up, seating herself next to her. She asked softly, “what happened in there?”

“She’s Cristina. I know her style,” Teddy quickly defended– she knew her style, yes. But, it scared her just how far she was about to take things.

“They were whispering ‘007’ in the gallery, you know.” 

Teddy rolled her eyes, defensive. “She needs to be pushed. McQueen’s not going to challenge her.”

“So that is what going on? You had a change of heart?” Arizona probed.

“No. It’s a one time thing. She wants to do the surgery, and I’m teaching her.” Teddy shifted on the uncomfortable mattress, fidgeting with her cleanly trimmed nails.

“By letting her fail and not stepping in?”

“It’s how she learns. She learns by doing.” It sounded weak, even to her own ears.

“Teddy, it’s me.” Arizona’s voice was soft, unjudging. Teddy felt her resolve breaking slightly. “Is that all that was happening in that OR? You teaching your intern?”

Teddy bit her lip and took off her scrub cap, burying  her face in it. It served as an answer of its own. 

“As your friend, you need to fix this thing with her. You can’t let this into the OR,” Arizona said with a resolute tone, before gently adding, “I know what she’s done to you. I was there when…” 

She flinched at the memory of the week following their breakup. Arizona let the unspoken words hang in the air.

“But had the patient not been okay, it would have been your license on the line. She might have the training of a fourth year, but on paper, she’s still an intern. Her status meant more scrutiny.”

“I know. I know. I don't…” Teddy sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I’ll talk to her.”

Arizona patted her knee supportively before leaving Teddy to her thoughts.

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

She found Cristina on one of the empty gurney in the hallway, focused on the thread and needle on a banana which was bent and folded in a peculiar shape. Clearing her throat, she tugs a stray hair back behind her ear in mental preparation.

Unexpectedly, she was met with enthusiasm.

“Teddy! Oh my god, did you see that?” Cristina exclaimed, bouncing off of the gurney after shoving the grape and medical textbook off her lap.

It was hard to not feel something when she saw sparks in Cristina’s eyes again, or the proud smile adorning her oval face.

“It was like I had air in my lungs for the first time since…” Cristina shook her head in dismissal of that train of thought. “I was on fire! The OR was on fire!”

Teddy hated the guilt slowly setting inside of her stomach. “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I should have stepped in when you asked. My intentions weren't pure, and,” she sighed, smiling wryly as she looked at the ground in search of words. “Had the patient not been okay, had you not controlled the bleed when you did, it would have been malpractice. Your career. My license.”

“But I did. I’m trained,” Cristina pointed out. “I’ve seen this done a few times in Minnesota, just not after, you know. I have a license, too.”

“But on the record, you’re…” Teddy trailed off before waving a hand. She knew better than to keep arguing with Cristina when she had her mind set. Cristina didn’t like being told; she was an experiencer. “It was a good save, Cristina,” she paused at seeing Cristina’s genuine smile. “You were good.”

“Thanks,” Cristina said, her voice nearly a surprised whisper.

Teddy’s eyes flicked back to the messy pile of things on the gurney. “What were you doing?”

“What?”

“With the banana,” she clarified.

“Oh, uh, I’m practicing stitches. I don’t want to be caught off guard when something comes up.” Cristina scratches the back of her neck before meeting her eyes.

Picking the abused banana up, Teddy had to admit that it was a creative practice dummy. The skin was folded into a familiar shape. “Is that supposed to be the aorta? A valve?”

“Yeah,” Cristina shrugged. “I just can’t get the suture to look clean yet. Here,” she pointed, “doesn’t allow me an angle yet but this is as anatomically accurate as I’m sure.”

She didn’t even get to pause and think before the words departed her lips.

“Here, I’ll show you.” Teddy moved behind Cristina, settling where she can get a good visual on the dummy heart, which Teddy was trying her best to both not be impressed nor amused by. “Hold your instrument.”

Cristina did, and Teddy covered the lean hands with hers, rotating the wrist to the angle she knew like second nature as the thread went through the banana peel with ease.

It took a second before Teddy realized just how close they were. The PA system was paging some guy in neurology; it finally reminded her of their current relationship, how it wasn’t her and Cristina and their vision to challenge the cardiothoracics surgery field anymore. 

Now, they weren’t together. This wasn’t school. Cristina had used her. The things she was so in love with were a lie.

Then, she heard Cristina’s breath hitched– she knew that hitch; she loved it then, she hated it now. It was her flustered hitch, the one that Teddy used to love eliciting.

While familiarity was setting an ugly fire to Teddy’s mind, she tried her best to secure the suture despite her all-too-aware hands on Cristina’s slightly shaky ones. 

She could try to pretend that everything was as light as when she approached Cristina on the gurney with a quick apology on her lips. But, the air had shifted, and this was too real. Teddy needed an exit. An escape. A removal of herself from this situation that would haunt her night.

With experienced moves, finishing off the tie didn’t take long. She let go of Cristina’s warm hands less gently than she should have. “There. That’s how you do it.”

“I… Thanks.” Cristina said with a soft tone; she could hear the slight confusion in it.

“Yup,” popping the 'p,' Teddy slowly backed away. She knew that Cristina was staring, most likely taken aback by her quick switch of behavior, but she couldn’t really afford to care. Caring meant even more thoughts, and her own thoughts were threatening to spill all over her mind already.

Navigating herself hurriedly, Teddy found the elevator, her finger jabbing the buttons repeatedly as if it would help accelerate the speed. 

Mess. She was a mess. She was messed up.

She pushed back all the messy thoughts, shoving them all inside a box, and took a deep breath. Her palms tingled, but they would pass. The side of her neck and a part of upper torso that felt Cristina’s curls still clung to the nostalgic feeling, but if Teddy could find something else to pour her energy into, she could forget it.

The elevator dinged; the door to the metal box opened, and she was grateful that it was empty. Teddy pressed the floor where the ER was.

A new environment, no matter the size, meant new thoughts.

To avoid dealing with the messy feelings, Teddy should avoid Cristina. It would easily work with Cristina being on McQueen’s service. It was a plan. She just had to stop putting herself in situations like today. She needed to keep sticking to her plan, like she had been doing.

It was a plan.

It was a good plan. A doable plan.

A ding rang out as the elevator door opened, and Teddy slithered through the gaggle of people who were trying to get in. A trauma case would put her mind off of Cristina. She was sticking to her plan.

She had it under control.

Chapter Text

One thing that Teddy missed in New York was the snow.

She loved the snow, loved the consistency and the comfort that she had taken in since she was a little girl. Plus, Allison, her first real love, back when they were in high school, used to make Teddy go out with her to Central Park just to build snowmen, before she was found murdered in her Brooklyn brownstone. Snow was a good reminder of Allison, the finer parts of home and childhood.

LA didn’t snow, but occasionally, there was a man-made ice skating rink in parks. Artificial ice had nothing on real ice, and skating under sunny Los Angeles was a far cry from snowy New York City, but Teddy would take it.

Teddy wasn’t too sure of what she had been thinking when she enthusiastically asked Cristina to come skate with her. Perhaps it was the faux courage after being teased relentlessly by her inspirational couple, or the lack of overthinking after studying brains .

Either way, here they were. Second date.

“I should reiterate that I don’t skate,” Cristina said with a scowl as Teddy handed her a pair of bladed boots. Tying up her laces, Teddy couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“You said ‘yes’ two days ago.” She tightened the last of the lace. Lifting her head, she saw Cristina putting on the boots, too, despite her protests.

“I said ‘yes’ to spending time with you,” Cristina grumbled.

“I want to skate. I love skating,” Teddy whined a little, putting on her best puppy eyes. It seemed to do the trick as she saw Cristina rolling her eyes before softening, looking away with a twitch in the corner of her lips.

“...Fine.”

“Yes!” Teddy didn’t bother to contain her triumphant smile. “Come on, Cristina. It’s like riding a bike.”

Easing herself to the icy ground, Teddy securely gripped the fence before finally finding that familiar balance, slowly setting off. When she turned around, Cristina was looking at her with a panicked expression as she took her first shaky step.

“Come here, I’ll teach you-”

“No!” Cristina interjected. “Let me figure it out. I- I learn better by doing. I’m a do-er.”

Unsure, Teddy called towards the staff’s glass box office, “uhh.. hi, we’re going to need a balance board, too.” She didn’t have to actually look to know that Cristina was scowling. It was cute– weirdly cute that reminded Teddy a little of a barking chihuahua. “Cristina, I’ve shadowed the ER in the winter a couple of times. People come in with stab wounds from skating blades all the time because of a freak accident, or because the patient was too stubborn to ask for help!”

“I’ve got you, what do I have to worry about?” Cristina said in a ‘duh’ tone. She let out a small shriek as a force slid her blades rightwards. Teddy shot her a look, but at Cristina’s adamant expression, she really couldn’t do anything else.

So, she skated a little ahead of Cristina before turning around, waiting to catch the freshman should she fall.

To her surprise, Cristina didn’t fall or misbalance herself. With a sure set off, she caught up with Teddy easily with a big smile on her face, letting the force push her forward, passing through Teddy..

“See? I told you,” Cristina pointedly said.

“Your form is still terrible,” she laughed lightheartedly.

“Give me 5 minutes and I’ll outdo you.” Cristina squeezed her hand before taking off further.

Teddy shook her head fondly before quickly going after her. 

—————————— 𖤓 ——————————

Cristina triumphantly stood, arms leaning over the fence easily, with her bladed feet still on the ice.

Despite her slightly wobbly legs– which she would never admit to Teddy, she was still going to finish this off. All she had to do now was step out of the ice.

Easier said than done.

Teddy had already left the rink, waiting for her to do the same. She knew that Teddy could already sense that something was off. It was kind of embarrassing. Cristina could feel the shame in her bones.

“Are you okay?” Teddy’s voice was gentle, and it made her feel slightly guilty for brushing Teddy’s lessons off before. To get Teddy’s help… no, that ship had sailed.

“Yes,” she gritted the words out.

Hell, she would rather stay there forever than ask for previously denied help, or ask one of the staff for help.

“Really?”

Cristina contemplated her choices. Perhaps actually staying there forever wasn’t a good idea. She could ask Teddy for help and ghost her– she could never have to see her again after today. “Okay, maybe not.”

But then Teddy’s patience was slowly becoming her undoing. Sometimes, Cristina wondered where the hell Teddy had learned the virtue.

“I can’t get out,” she finally admitted quietly. The words could hardly be forced out.

“Pardon?”

“I can’t get out.” Cristina risked a look at Teddy. “My legs won’t give.”

Teddy’s face only showed confusion– she couldn’t blame her, really. “Cristina, you’ve come this far. You can walk out.”

“I can’t,” she stressed, letting desperation slip into her voice.

“Okay, here.” Teddy easily walked with her bladed boots to her, extending a hand for Cristina to take– which she did, before guiding her to the carpet. “Slowly,” she advised, and Cristina allowed herself to trust Teddy’s hands with her dignity. “How is it that you can skate on your first try but you can’t get out of the rink?”

“False bravery?” She refused to look into Teddy’s eyes.

“You’re adorable,” Teddy said. Was it fondness she heard? Or was it just a mocking smirk like she imagined?

“I’m not! I’m lethal. I can kill you with a fork,” Cristina protested with a glare. It was when she saw the amused twinkle in Teddy’s green eyes, like when they second met after Cristina’s class, and a hint of affection.

“Adorable.”

“Screw you.” She wanted to be annoyed by that, but she couldn’t. The bubbles in her were too… bubbling . Even the biting words were weak.

And Teddy laughed- she laughed . Not even by the slightest offended by her words, or put off by them. She just fucking laughed. And it made Cristina’s decision for her.

Cristina could say that the kiss was out of the left field, but she thought that it would be a negative view of it. She just wanted to shut Teddy up, surprising even herself by the action.

There was nothing negative about Teddy’s lips. Not the softness of it, not the minty taste of her chapstick, not the way that Teddy made Cristina’s breath hitch when she returned the kiss.

“Wow.” Cristina closed her eyes, a smile threatening to spread across her face.

“Yeah, wow,” Teddy repeated softly. “Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“Okay,” she whispered, tucking a loose strand of golden hair back behind her ear. “That's all you're getting out of me, babe." 

Noticing the flushed cheeks and wild eyes, Cristina finally smiled. She was kind of proud that she did that. “So, lunch?”

“If you just wanted me to say ‘okay’ again, I swear, Cristina,” Teddy threatened.

“Just checking,” she chuckled, brushing her lips on Teddy’s rosy cheeks before making her careful way towards the bench to take off her boots.

Cristina nearly forgot to be afraid of walking on solid ground with blades.

But if flustering Teddy was a way to conquer her fears, then Cristina was ready to face it all.