Chapter Text
Once, there was a bat named Onyn Ring, who plot twist, was a beautiful bat. But plot twist? he was a beautiful lonely bat, and plot twist, he was a beautiful lonely bat EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN BEZEL!!!! That ain’t good! See in case you haven’t read The Golden Apple prior to this, Bezel doesn’t take too kindly to mortals being prettier than him. In fact it’s gotten so bad, people have begun worshipping Onyn instead of Bezel. But don’t worry because Bezel knows what to do, he’ll make Onyn Ring fall in love with a hideous monster! (Bezel. You are a god. Why don’t you just kill him?) So, Bezel calls his son Chikin Nuggit to make Onyn Ring fall in love with a monstrosity. But when he scoots down to earth to jab Onyn with one of his arrows, he’s startled by his beauty and accidently stab’s HIMSELF with one of his arrows.
Now, plot point, Onyn’s beauty is something people worship from afar. See, Onyn Ring wants to be loved, but he’s just too beautiful for this sinful world, and it’s REALLY starting to get on his nerves, so he goes to FWENCH FWY to ask if he’ll ever find love, and they say yes, but it will be with a hideous monster that even the gods fear. So Onyn goes to a big scary cliff to wait for his monster boyfriend to pick him up, and is escorted by Ice Scream to his monster boyfriend’s cottage in the woods. Anyway, turns out his monster boyfriend is invisible, and tells Onyn that he’ll be comfortable living here thanks to his chaos powers, but he can never see him.
Theen one day Onyn’s sisters come to visit (by the way Onyn has two sisters) and say that he should kill his monster boyfriend before it kills him and his unborn child (by the way Onyn’s pregnant) So Onyn sneaks into her monster boyfriend’s bedroom with a lantern to figure out the identity of his boyfriend, but when the light touches him, he finds out he actually has a super cute boyfriend, namely, Chikin himself. Unfortunately, the lantern also thinks Chikin is cute, and a bit splashes onto him to get a little closer to senpai. So Chikin wakes up because OW! and flies away because BETRAYAL!
Chikin flys back to Bezel to nurse his minor burn and feel sorry for himself, and now Bezel is double pissed at Onyn Ring. So Bezel tells Onyn that if he wants Chikin back, he’ll need to accomplish four tasks for him. (by the way, Onyn’s sisters fell off a cliff and died) So, Bezel gives Onyn his first task, which is to sort a pile of grains by type before sundown. While Onyn is contemplating his life choices, a nearby colony of ants takes pity on him and sorts the grain for him. So then Bezel gives Onyn his next task which is to get some Golden Fleece from the sun sheep that live across the river. Now rather than almost get electrocuted, Onyn decides it would be safer to just get the wool off the nearby branches. So, then Bezel tells Onyn Ring to go get some water from the river styix, and at this point, The gold orb is all like “okay this is getting ridiculous!” and sends a falcon to get the water for him. So finally, Bezel tells Onyn to go to hell, specifically to get some of that eyeball thing’s beauty and put it in a box, then bring it back up to him. Now at this point, Chikin’s forgiven Onyn for the whole burning him thing, but Bezel isn’t listening. So Onyn gets the box of beauty from the eyeball thing, but then it dawns on him that if this box contains eternal beauty, he may as well freshen up for Chikin. So he opens it and Gets blasted in the face. While Bezel’s laughing about that, Chikin sneaks out and causally fixes the whole dead thing (by the way Onyn died) and brings him back to the golden orb to ask it to make Onyn immortal. So the golden orb makes Onyn Immortal, tells Bezel to back off, and they lived happily ever after.