Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Simon reaches for his phone, shutting off the sharp, insistent prompt for him to get up and start his day, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Moonlight filters in through the curtains, the stillness of the early morning grounding him as he sits up with a sigh, stretching after he clicks on the lamp on the nightstand. Ginger fur catches his gaze as Lady stretches with him, back arching and claws protracting as her toes spread. He gives her chin a light scratch, smiling warmly when she leans into it, and finally pulls the covers off, shivering a bit in the cool air of the flat. The morning is quiet, as all his mornings are. Birds not yet awake to greet the sun, most people still in bed, their own daily routines not due to start for a couple more hours. It’s a peaceful quiet. One he’s become accustomed, and even partial, to after years of waking before the world.

Such is the life of a baker.

He appreciates the calmness of the wee hours of the morning. No one to answer to. No one to interrupt his regimen. Just a blissful hour alone to dress and slowly sip his tea before he heads downstairs. It's a good set up, living above his place of work. No commute, no extra expenses for petrol. Just 15 creaky steps and he’s there. Couldn’t ask for a better situation.

It does limit his opportunities to socialize with anyone outside his close circle though, not that Simon’s complaining. He’s quite content with his life as it is, but his friends and family worry needlessly about his “self-isolation”. He snorted the first time Price brought it up, letting the older man know that their small circles of friends was more than enough for him.

They’re a tight knit group, the five of them, and Simon couldn’t ask for better people in his life. Jonathan Price, who goes by his surname after growing accustomed to it during his time in the military, and his husband Nikolai, have been like fathers to him since they found him fending for himself on the streets after running away from home at 16. His small-minded family in his small-minded hometown hadn’t bothered looking for him after he decided he’d had enough of the vitriol they regarded him with. There was nothing for him there, so he left, willing to struggle through life just to be rid of them. Luckily, he stumbled into the path of two of the most loving and caring people he’d ever met.

The two men brought a broken and battered Simon in after he’d tried to nick a couple loaves of bread from their bakery. He’d readied himself for another beating or perhaps a trip to the jailhouse, but neither came. Instead he found himself sat at their dining table with a plate of warm food and an invitation to stay the night in a real bed rather than out on the streets.

Now, 10 years later, he remains in the same flat, currently eating a quick breakfast at the same table. Nik and Price no longer live here, having partially retired after much prompting by Simon, and are living a quiet life a bit farther into the countryside. The short commute allows them to at least open the bakery they still own every morning so they can see their years long regulars, though they both tend to work far into the business hours, neither man really made for a sedentary lifestyle.

They entrusted the day to day running of the shop to Simon a few years ago, the man taking to the art of baking like a fish to water. It makes sense to him, the methodical and measured way that each recipe is completed, and he’s even created and perfected a few of his own. It’s a simple life, but it’s more than he ever dared dream of before he found it.

He quickly washes his dishes from his morning meal, placing them to dry on the rack and filling a thermos with more tea. After a short goodbye to Lady, and making sure she has her own breakfast, he heads down to the kitchen below.

Simon settles further into his morning routine, turning on the lights and pulling out supplies. He turns on some music for background noise as he checks their stocks from the previous day, noting what needs replenishing before starting on dough and batter. The first three hours of the morning are spent alone, baking bread, cookies, pies, and muffins and frying donuts. He hums along to the music as he goes, letting his mind wander in the rhythm of his daily work.

Near 7 am he hears the familiar truck parking in the small car park beside the building. Two creaking doors tell him both Nik and Price have decided to work today, as they do more often than not. He’s just finished stocking the last of the pastries as the front door is unlocked and his two paternal figures enter, greeting him with a smile and a wave. He greets them back before returning to the ovens and pulling out trays of bread.

He’s nearly done with the prep work and will be finished with his main work for the day, spending the rest of it “as he pleases”. It had been the deal he and the two older men made when he volunteered to take the least desirable shift. They had hoped it would mean he’d go out and find some more friends or at least some new, more sociable hobbies, but all it’s led to is him popping in and out all day, helping when needed.

“Ah, smells good in here,” Nik says, taking a deep breath. Simon smiles softly, used to hearing that every morning. One would think after nearly a lifetime running the place, the man having worked it as a boy and taken over after his father passed, it would lose some of it’s allure, but not for Nik. The bakery is his entire life, outside of his husband and Simon of course, and he adores it.

“Just finishin’ up,” Simon tells them, moving the loaves to a rack to cool a bit before they go into the baskets up front. “Coffee and hot water are ready too. Think you’re all set for the mornin’”.

“Sounds good, son,” Price says, squeezing his shoulder as he moves past him toward the small office in the back, really just a cluttered desk, an aging laptop, a landline, and a couple filing cabinets. “I’ll get started on stock orders. Any more cake orders come in?”.

“Nothin’ so far,” Simon replies, following him back. “Just those birthday cakes for next week. Kyle and Gary said they may be able to help me with them”.

Price and Nik close the shop down Sundays to give everyone the day off, always stressing the importance of spending time with loved ones. They only come in that day to make catering orders and cakes as needed. Simon enjoys those days, free to be a bit more creative with the decorating and spend more time with the others as they don’t have to worry about customers.

“I’ll ask them today,” Price says, making a note and adding it to the array of others. How he keeps track of the mess, Simon will never understand, but it apparently works for him. “Kyle said he needs to talk to me anyway. Not sure what about, but he said it was important”.

“We aren’t losin’ him, are we?” Simon asks, brow furrowing. He likes Kyle and, as far as he knows, he still has a couple more years of uni before he’ll most likely move on and find something more suited to his degree. Besides, they’re moving into the holidays and the bakery is only going to get busier as November wears on.

“No, he assured me it’s nothin’ like that,” Price says, looking up over his readers at him. “He said somethin’ about a friend lookin’ for work. It’d be nice to have another set of hands”.

Simon hums, opting to keep his opinion to himself. He’s never done well with new people. It had taken him a while to get used to Kyle and Gary when they first joined. He knows it’s silly, but he likes things the way they are now and, though they could use the help, he isn’t looking forward to getting used to someone new; having to figure out the best way to train them and learning how to get along with them. They have a low turnover rate, but they’ve had a few part time employees in the past that were put off by Simon’s quiet demeanor and the amount of time it took for him to warm up. They’d all eventually moved on before he could really connect with them. All but their little team.

“It’s not set in stone,” Price says, smiling a bit at Simon’s frown. “We have to make sure they’ll be useful first”. He pauses, chewing his lip before looking back down at the papers in front of him, obviously trying to act nonchalant.

“Though, it might be nice to have some new blood around,” he continues, not looking back up at Simon. “Someone to liven things up. Maybe even give you a day off every now and then to go out”.

Simon stifles a groan. It’s as good as decided then. If Kyle’s friend can so much as turn an oven on, Price will hire them. An extra set of hands and a potential new friend for him? They’re a dream come true for the man.

“Well, it seems you two have everythin’ under control,” he mutters, taking off his apron and going to hang it up. Despite his annoyance, he knows he’ll be back down later to help. He can’t stay away for long.

“You never know,” Nik pipes up, obviously having been listening as he waits for the first of their usual customers to show up. “Maybe a new person will be a good change”.

Simon sighs. He knows they mean well and are only looking out for him.

“Maybe,” he concedes and heads back up the stairs.

*****

John fiddles with his sleeve, leg bouncing as he looks out the window again. It’s only been about 30 seconds since he last checked, but his nervous energy makes it feel like so much longer.

When Kyle told him to meet him at their favorite coffee shop, he’d actually smiled for the first time in about a week. So much is riding on what comes out of his friend’s conversation with his boss. Kyle had seemed optimistic about it, saying they needed more help at the bakery as the holidays near, but that doesn’t mean John will be what they’re looking for.

He's never tried his hand at baking outside helping his Mam around this time of year as a lad, but he can cook well enough and can follow a recipe. It can’t be that hard. He’s also desperate enough that he’ll clean dishes or mop the floors. Anything. He just really needs this job.

John sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. How did his life get so fucked in such a short amount of time? One minute he’s going to uni, has a good friend group, and a loving fiancé. The next, he’s stuck looking for a place to live, with no job, and lost nearly all his friends.

He scoffs at himself, running a hand down his face. Who is he kidding? All of those “friends” were his, not John’s. He didn’t like going to uni, at least not for the degree he was in. He just didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life and a business degree made the most sense. As for a “loving fiancé”, how much did he really love him when he was fucking half the football team?

John’s vision blurs and he angrily presses his palms against his eyes, refusing to let them fall. He’s been crying off and on since he walked in on his now ex and one of his teammates in their bed a few weeks ago. He can still remember every second of that moment. The way his stomach dropped. How everything around him slowed, as if the universe wanted him to suffer through every agonizing moment. As if the worst day of his life wanted to brand itself in his brain. It wasn’t like how some people describe something like that. It wasn’t all a blur, he didn’t feel like he was in a haze. No. He experienced it all with a clear mind, unfortunately.

It's his own fault, really. The couple friends that were actually his own had told him they felt off about his ex. His family didn’t like him either, but that didn’t stop him from being an idiot and ignoring it all. No, he just had to romanticize everything like he always does. Kept telling himself they just didn’t understand their love. That his ex didn’t want him to work because he wanted him to focus on his studies, not because he wanted to keep him at home as much as possible. That he pushed him to change from studying art to studying business because he wanted him to have more career opportunities, not because he thought it was a useless degree. That he didn’t want him to go out with friends because he loved spending time with him, not because he was trying to isolate him.

John’s distracted from his self-deprecation by the tinkling of a bell as the door opens. He sighs in relief when Kyle spots him, smiling softly and heading to the table he’s sat at. John stands, eagerly accepting a hug from his best friend before they both sit. Kyle holds his hand gently, thumb swiping across his knuckles.

“How’re you holding up?” he asks, concern evident in his eyes as he takes in John’s, most likely, bloodshot ones. John takes a shaky breath.

“Depends on what yer about ta say,” he replies, smiling wistfully. It doesn’t feel convincing. Kyle nods, his own smile much more genuine.

“Price wants to meet you,” he says brightly and John feels hopeful for the first time in a long while. “Says if you can follow instructions and get on with the others, he’ll find something for you to do”.

The tears gather again, but this time he can’t hold them back. A quiet sob tumbles out of him and Kyle is up and on his side of the table in an instant.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, wiping his face with his sleeve. “Just relieved. Now all I have ta do is find a place”.

“Actually, I may have that covered too,” Kyle says, beaming as he pulls back. John’s heart swells, unable to contain his excitement.

“Yer a wizard or somethin’, I swear,” he breathes. Kyle laughs.

“Don’t start thanking me yet,” he says. “You don’t even know the details”.

“Anythin’ is better than livin’ with that cheatin’ bastart,” he grumbles darkly.

He hasn’t been able to even try to work past everything, still seeing his ex every day while he looks for a new place. Kyle had offered to let him stay with him and Gary, but John turned him down. He didn’t want to invade their limited space, their flat only having one bedroom. With how poor his own search for a place was going, though, he figures it was only a matter of time before they forced him.

“So, what’re the details,” he asks, a bit more hesitantly. Not being 100% sure he has a job makes paying rent a bit difficult.

“The bakery has a flat above it,” Kyle replies. “Price said you can have one of the rooms. All you have to do is chip in for regular expenses”.

John’s eyes widen.

“That’s- awfully generous,” he says, surprised. Why would a complete stranger go to such lengths for him? He hasn’t even met him yet. “Ye must’ve talked me up quite a bit”.

“Just told him the truth,” Kyle shrugs. “You’re a hard worker, a quick learner, and you’ll be great with the customers”.

John sits back, mulling it all over. His Mam always said if it’s seems to good to be true, then it probably is, and really, his recent experience should be holding him back. He’s always been a risk taker though and, despite how bad it bit him in the arse last time, he can’t help but feel like he should follow his gut, and his gut is saying go for it. Whether it’s just because he’s desperate to get out of his current situation or because the universe is pushing him, he finds himself eager to say yes.

“What’s the catch?” he asks, sure it can’t be as perfect as it seems.

“Well,” Kyle says sheepishly, rubbing his nape. John sighs, slouching in defeat. Of course it was too good to be true.

“It’s nothing bad,” Kyle assures him. “You’d just have- a flatmate”. John blinks. That’s not a problem, unless-

“Are they, like, a serial killer or somethin’?” he jokes, unsure why Kyle would think that’s a deal breaker.

“No,” Kyle chuckles. “He’s just a bit set in his ways. He’s quiet and a bit standoffish at first. Likes his routine and solitude”.

Okay. He can work with that.

“And it’s his flat you’ll be moving into,” Kyle continues, expression becoming hesitant. “And he’s never had a roommate before”.

John frowns slightly. That’ll be a bit more tricky, trying to navigate someone else’s space, but he’s always been able to charm people easily enough. Kyle’s smile becoming more and more stilted is making him nervous though.

“And,” Kyle says, now not looking him in the eye. “Price hasn’t told him yet”.

*****

Simon stays in his flat for a few hours, reading after his workout and shower, before his boredom wins out. Kyle and Gary will be in soon, as they always are after classes, but he heads back down anyway, eager for something to do. He could go out to the bookstore down the street or even the library, but he isn’t in the mood to deal with crowds. It already being late November means more people milling about, shopping for loved ones and crowding the few places he goes.

The noise and people aren’t the only things keeping him in though. This time of year is a bit- difficult. Christmas was always his favorite holiday as a lad. His mother would decorate the whole house with garland on the mantle and staircase, festive pillows and throws on the sofa, and a live tree in the sitting room. He can still remember the smell of her gingerbread and sugar cookies in the oven. Can remember eagerly waiting to help decorate them, sneaking licks of icing as he worked.

As his father started drinking more and working less, the holidays, and his home life in general, became less and less pleasant. He was always ranting about how they didn’t have the money for something as trivial as Christmas, though his stock of liquor never seemed to dwindle. Shouting and, as time went on, physical violence, became the new norm and Simon has more than a few reminders scattered across his body. As his mother slowly became a shell of her former self, she couldn’t seem to put her heart into making this time of year special anymore.

Then came the year it all came crashing down.

His younger brother, Tommy, had overheard him talking to one of his few friends at school. Had heard the friend call him Simon. It had been easy up to that point to explain away his preference for more masculine clothes as comfort, his short hair as it being easier to maintain. He could simply let his family believe he was a tomboy. His father never wanted a daughter anyway. Hadn’t really paid much attention to him over the years. This, though? This explained everything.

Simon didn’t know Tommy knew, but when his kid brother got in trouble yet again for smoking in the bathroom at school, he used the information to get the heat off him. Simon will never forget the words his father spat at him or the beating that accompanied them. He'll never forget the disappointment in his mother’s eyes. That hurt the most. Knowing she wasn’t on his side.

So he left. Packed a bag, ignoring the new cuts and bruises he’d acquired, and never looked back. Three weeks later, he sat beside a Christmas tree for the first time in years, vision blurring with the first happy tears he’d ever shed, as he held a key to the flat, wrapped in a small box from Nik and Price.

They accepted him. They made sure he knew he was loved and helped him become the man he is today. He still loves Christmas, they always make it special, but the smell of cheap liquor, the sound of venomous words, and the memory of disapproving brown eyes still lurk in the back of his mind.

So he avoids the rush. Avoids seeing children with their mothers, pointing out toys they hope Santa brings them. Looks away from fathers coming into the bakery carrying their little ones on their shoulders, buying them secret treats they rush to eat before going home for supper. He ignores the couples, holding hands and glancing lovingly at the other when they’re not looking.

That’s the other thing that drives his need to stay busy. He’s lonely. He knows he is. Knows what the hollow twinge in his chest is when he catches Kyle and Gary sneaking quick kisses in the back. Knows he longs for what they and Nik and Price all have. But he isn’t good with new people. Can never seem to let them in without a challenge, as if testing their willingness to care for him. Always seems to need to make them prove they won’t hurt him, which only serves to drive them away. He figures the only reason Gary and Kyle haven’t run is because they have each other. He didn’t need to test them too harshly.

Nik tells him he should go to therapy, but, if he’s honest with himself, he’s scared he can’t be fixed. Scared he’ll figure out he’s unlovable and that would be worse than telling himself he’s alone because no one’s met his expectations.

Laughter greets him as he steps into the kitchen and he peeks out to the front of house, seeing Nik and Price talking with Kate, one of their regulars and longtime friends. She owns the local paper and has known Nik since they were children, both of them going to the same schools together while growing up. They bonded over being in a new country, her family having moved here from the US around the same time Nik’s family moved from Russia. She beckons him over when she spots him and he strolls over with a smile.

“Just can’t keep away can you?” she teases, knowing good and well his shift ended hours ago. Simon shrugs with a grin, taking her empty mug and making her another cup of coffee.

“Hafta make sure these two actually get some work done and don’t just chat the hours away,” he replies. Price huffs.

“We’ve managed to stay in business this long,” he says pointedly, mustache twitching as he holds back a smile.

“Then I seem to be doin’ my job right,” Simon chuckles.

“Yeah, yeah,” Price scoffs. “Why don’t you help Nik unload the truck then, since you seem so keen on workin’. We brought some decorations from home”.

Simon ignores the warring emotions filling his chest, and the silent conversation passing between the two older men, as he follows Nik out to the car park. It’s only a few boxes of the usual, albeit aging, decorations they put up every year and they’re able to carry it all in one trip. He dusts his hands off after stacking the boxes in the office, turning to wash them before Nik stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he says, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Simon quirks a brow before leaning against the desk.

“Kyle is bringing his friend with him today,” Nik says, busying himself with sifting through one of the boxes. “He talked to Price on the phone shortly after you left. From what he’s said about him, we think he’ll be a good fit”.

Simon hums, waiting for whatever he is clearly working up to say. He’s known Nik long enough to tell when he’s hiding something and his attempt to seem nonchalant is not working in the slightest.

“We wanted to see if you’d be willing to show him around,” Nik continues. “See where he’ll be most useful”.

Simon sighs, already having figured he’d be put up to the task. No better way to force him to socialize than putting him on babysitting duty.

“You know I will,” he replies, leveling him with an expectant look. The older man avoids it, pretending to study the red and green garnishes he’s more than familiar with.

“Anythin’ else?” he prompts. It’s Nik’s turn to sigh, as he sets down the string of lights he’d been holding.

“The boy’s in a tight spot,” he says slowly, like he’s trying to work out how best to say whatever is on the tip of his tongue. Simon nods, encouraging him to continue. “He’s in a bad situation and needs somewhere to stay”.

Simon stiffens, finally understanding what Nik is hinting at. He knows he and Price would never force him to do something he doesn’t want to do and nearly tells him absolutely not, but the memory of his own predicament a decade ago stops him. They didn’t have to take him in. Didn’t have to open up their home to a lost, broken, desperate kid, but they did. They let him into their home and changed his life for the better. It’d be selfish of him to not pass on that kindness.

“How long?” he sighs, pointedly looking away from Nik’s relieved smile.

“Just until he can afford his own place,” he replies. “Kyle already told him it’s your flat and said he assured him he won’t be a bother”.

Simon takes a deep breath, already regretting what he’s about to say, but knowing he can’t turn away from someone who needs help. Despite his tendency to isolate himself, he really does like to help people.

“He better not mess anythin’ up,” he grumbles in lieu of actual assent. Nik beams at him and it thaws the ice in his chest.

“It’s temporary,” he reminds him. “And if you ever feel it’s too much, we’ll figure something else out”.

The tinkling of the door bell and the familiar voices of Kyle and Gary put an end to the conversation. Simon sighs again, straightening up and squaring his shoulders. He again ignores Nik’s sympathetic smile before stepping out of the office.

“Guess it’s time to meet my new flatmate”.

*****

John takes a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers as Gary leads the way to the front of the bakery.

“Relax,” he says, nudging his shoulder with his own. “You’re gonna be fine. Price’ll love you, you’ll have a sweet new job workin’ with us, and you can finally move away from that dickhead”.

John chuckles, chest loosening a bit with each of his friend’s words. Kyle sidles up on his other side, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

“Gary’s right,” he says. “They’ll love you. We need the help anyway and you’re competent around a kitchen. It’s gonna be a breeze”.

“I know,” John sighs, relaxing even more. “I just- I really need this ta work out”.

“It will,” Kyle murmurs, tightening his hold for a moment before letting him go to open the door. “And if it doesn’t, you can just move in with us and be our live in maid. We’ll get you the dress and everything”.

John and Gary laugh as they step over the threshold. The tinkling of a bell announces their arrival and John is engulfed in the warm, heavenly smell of baked bread and confections.

The bakery is cozy. Warm, yellow walls, bisected by wooden paneling on the lower half, compliment the wooden tables and chairs set up around the front. A wooden counter, clearly worn by years of loving use, sits in front of the back wall. The menu board behind the counter is neat and orderly with typed letters and numbers. John can see the door presumably leading to the kitchen behind a glass display with breads, muffins, donuts, and pies next to the counter. The warm lights hanging around the place give it a relaxing ambiance. The artwork on the walls is a bit lacking in his opinion. A bit too generic, but he’s not going to say anything. It wouldn’t be a great introduction to start critiquing the place.

All in all, it's a cute little shop.

“You must be John,” says a gruff, but friendly voice, pulling his attention back to the counter.

A man with mutton chops rounds it, coming to shake his hand. He says goodbye to a blonde woman who was previously sitting at the counter as she heads to the door, greeting Kyle and Gary while looking curiously at John before she leaves. The man is older, maybe in his 50s, but is very obviously in good shape. His forearms are thick in a way that shows he works with his hands, but the rest of his body screams military.

“Yes, Sir,” John says, shaking the man’s hand, who chuckles.

“No need to be so formal,” he says. “I’m Jonathan Price, but just Price is fine. Haven’t gone by Jonathan since I was a lad”.

“Military?” John asks, grasping at a potential connection. Price’s eyes twinkle and his mustache twitches.

“Army,” he confirms. “12 years. You?”.

“My Da,” John replies, grinning. “Though he ran our home like it. He was a captain”.

“Oh, I can imagine then,” Price laughs, clasping John’s shoulder. He relaxes at the touch, always having been a more tactile man himself. It’s a relief having his potential boss treat him so casually.

“Kyle’s told me a bit about you,” Price continues, removing his hand and crossing his arms as he appraises him. “But I’d like to hear from you myself. We’re well staffed here, but with the holidays comin’ up we could definitely use an extra set of hands. You any good at baking?”.

“I can follow a recipe,” John answers honestly. “And I help my Mam bake when I go home fer Christmas”.

“You’re already ahead of the game then,” Price grins. John smiles back. He rather likes the man.

Movement from the kitchen door catches his eyes and he sees another man enter, dark hair slicked back, small streaks of grey catching the light. He’s older too, and has a similar friendly demeanor as Price.

“John, this is Nik,” says Price, wrapping an arm around the man’s waist. “My husband. This is his family’s bakery”.

“Kyle told me about it,” John says, shaking Nik’s hand. “Says ye’ve worked it since ye were a wee bairn”.

“Да,” Nik replies with a thick Russian accent. “Spent most of my life here”.

“It’s lovely,” John says, glancing around again.

“Isn’t it?” Nik sighs, smiling warmly as he too takes it in, obviously quite proud of what his family’s built.

“Today will just be about becomin’ familiar with the place,” Price says after a moment. “Kyle and Gary will be quite busy, but we have someone who can show you ‘round”.

“Aye,” John replies, nervous again. Kyle had said his potential new flatmate would be showing him the ropes.

“Don’t listen to whatever Kyle’s told you,” Price says, shooting a withering look at said man. Kyle chuckles sheepishly, rubbing his nape while Gary snickers at him. “Simon’s all bark. You’ll get along just fine”.

As though waiting for his cue, the kitchen door swings open again.

John feels his breath catch as he takes in the behemoth of a man shuffling behind the counter. He’s tall. Taller than Nik and Price who have a couple inches on John already. To most people, John supposes, he’d be quite intimidating. Strong jaw, sharp cheekbones, a few scars on his arms, the ones on his left one barely noticeable within a sleeve of skulls, and face, all accompanied by a stony expression.

To John, though, he’s absolutely stunning.

His dark blond hair shines when it catches the light. Warm, albeit guarded, eyes, framed by pale lashes, seem to study him like he’s looking for something. His thick muscles are covered in a healthy layer of fat that John just knows would feel divine beneath his fingers.

He mentally shakes himself.

This is not the time. He’s just getting out of a five year relationship that has left him feeling raw and broken. He’s not about to try to rebound with his potential coworker and flatmate. That’s a recipe for disaster.

“John,” he says, sticking his hand out and hoping it’s not as sweaty as it feels.

Simon looks at it for half a second before grasping it firmly and letting go just as quickly. John ignores the way his palm tingles at the contact.

“Simon,” the man murmurs. “On me, Johnny”.

Chapter Text

Kyle gapes at his friend’s back as he follows Simon through the kitchen door. What was that? Never did he think the introduction would go like this. A quick look around at the others tells him they noticed the same thing he did.

“Well,” Gary says, clearing his throat, a similar look of wonder evident in his eyes. “That was-”.

“Right?” Kyle breathes, smiling incredulously at his partner. “The tension was unreal”.

“And the nickname,” says Gary, grabbing his arm as he starts to match his excitement. “Tav never let’s anyone call him that. Not even his own family”.

Kyle grins, heart swelling at what this could all mean. A million thoughts swarm his brain. It’s obvious his friend is attracted to Simon, the look in his eyes when he entered said it all. Kyle probably should’ve warned him that the man is exactly his type, but he honestly hadn’t thought about it until now. Tav has been so distraught over his recent breakup that Kyle hadn’t considered he’d even be interested in moving on yet.

But if he is? Honestly, Kyle can’t think of a better match for him. He’s not as close to Simon as he’d like to be, but he knows he’s a good, caring person, even if it takes some time to unearth it.

“I’ve never seen Simon look at someone like that,” Price says softly. Kyle turns and sees him still looking at the closed door, eyes a bit misty and mouth parted slightly in shock. His heart squeezes again at the look mirrored by Nik.

It's no secret that Simon is pretty reserved. As far as Kyle knows, he doesn’t have any friends outside of him and Gary. It had taken him a while to warm up to them and Price has confided in him before that he worries about the man. He doesn’t want him to spend his whole life alone, the bakery his only solace. This could be so good for him. Not to mention how it could help Tav.

“We should get them together,” Gary says excitedly, eyes lighting up and grin widening.

“Hold on there, love,” Kyle says, knowing he needs to slow him down before he gets his hopes up.

He needs to talk to Tav first. Needs to figure out if it’s just simple attraction or could potentially be more. He hasn’t pried into Simon's dating life, but he knows him well enough to know he wouldn’t be interested in something casual. If he was, he wouldn’t spend nearly all his free time in the bakery with them or alone upstairs.

“Oh c’mon,” Gary groans. “You said it yourself. There was tension. They’re obviously into each other. It’ll help Tav move on and let Simon have fun for once”.

“What about Simon’s feelings?” Kyle replies, looking concernedly at Nik and Price who seem deep in their own thoughts. “Tav just got out of a bad relationship, and I highly doubt Simon would be fine with only being a rebound”.

“Kyle’s right,” Nik says, worry evident in his eyes. “Simon has never shown interest in someone like that until now. He is not going to want just a fling”.

Price nods, chewing his lip. He has to be concerned about the ramifications of them living together now that Simon may be interested and what will happen if it doesn’t work out.

“I’ll talk to Tav,” Kyle says, hoping to ease their worries. “I’ll just let him know Simon’s a bit- particular with relationships. He won’t try anything if he doesn’t want something real. Besides, I’m sure he’s gonna want to know everything about him now”.

Gary snickers and Price nods slowly before fixing Kyle with a stern gaze he’s never seen before. He tries not to shrink under it.

“I want to help your friend,” he says, clearly choosing his words carefully. “But if he’s going to be a problem for Simon, I have no issue lettin’ him go. I won’t have him toyin’ with our boy”.

“He won’t,” Kyle reassures him. “He’s a flirt, and can be a bit of a menace, but he wouldn’t intentionally play with someone’s feelings like that, especially if he knows they aren’t interested in a one off. He’s a good bloke. I promise”.

“He is,” Gary agrees quickly. “He's been through his own shit too and wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. And if it works out, I think he’d be really good for Simon”.

Price stares at them a bit longer, searching for any indication they’re not being honest before sighing. Nik wraps an arm around him, squeezing his waist reassuringly.

“He’s not a boy anymore,” he reminds him. “Simon can make his own choices”.

“I know,” Price replies thickly. “I just don’t want to see him get hurt. He’s been through enough already”.

Kyle grimaces. He knows about Simon’s past. Though they don’t have many heart to hearts, Simon's made a concerning amount of jokes about it, his own unhealthy coping mechanism. He’s been able to piece together enough to know that it’s good Nik and Price found him when they did.

“He won’t get hurt,” Kyle says firmly. He’ll take it upon himself to make sure both he and Tav get the happy ending they deserve if he has to.

Price nods, loosening his posture.

“Alright then,” he says, eyes lighting up with determination. “What’s the plan?”.

*****

“Dinnae think I’ve ever seen the back of a restaurant,” Johnny says, peering around in interest. “Everythin’s so big”.

Simon almost rolls his eyes at the way the man slyly glances at him with the comment, fighting his own urge to survey him.

He’s not what he expected at all, not that he was trying to picture him. His thoughts had just drifted to Kyle’s friend every so often in the couple hours between finding out about him and them meeting, out of curiosity of course. He doesn’t know what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t a flirty Scotsman with a ridiculous mohawk.

Simon knows when he’s being flirted with. He may be green in this area, but he knows what he looks like. Many people are interested in his size and “mysterious aura” as Gary puts it. He’s not stupid and Johnny is not subtle.

Shit.

He did it again. That fucking nickname. He’s not sure why he said it in the first place, it just rolled off his tongue. The name suits him for some reason, not that he knows him well enough to be able to tell that sort of thing, but it does. It just feels- right.

“We make a lot of food,” Simon grunts, determined to keep things professional. “We need large equipment for large quantities”.

He’ll show him from the start he’s not to be toyed with and shoot down any expectations the cheeky bastard may be building up in his head about their living situation. To his dismay, Johnny (dammit) just chuckles and continues meandering around the kitchen.

“What’s this?” he asks, studying one of the various pieces of equipment, genuine curiosity in his eyes. Simon violently shoves the thought of how cute it is away.

“Bread slicer,” he answers gruffly. “Pretty self-explanatory”.

“And this?” Johnny asks, unperturbed.

Simon feels his own curiosity growing. He’s always been the one showing the newbies around. Every time, he’s managed to make them uncomfortable, even when he tried to be more personable. That's how he expected this encounter to go, but Johnny (he’s just going to accept it now) seems completely unfazed by his stiff demeanor.

“Proofing cabinet,” he answers, less bite in his tone. He can’t help but appreciate the genuine interest Johnny is showing. Like he’s really taking this seriously and not viewing the situation as a free ride. “It allows the doughs and batters we make to rise at a consistent temperature and humidity level”.

“Smart,” Johnny replies, opening the currently empty machine before closing it and doing another visual sweep of the kitchen. “I think I ken what the rest of it is. Pretty sure I can work my way ‘round it all. Though, I wouldnae say no ta some private lessons”.

Simon does roll his eyes this time, but he can’t help the chuckle that comes out as well. Huh. He’s never grown so lax around a stranger before. Must be the whirlwind of emotions today has brought.

“I’m sure everyone will be thrilled to have such an eager learner,” he replies, again trying to draw a line in the sand. Again Johnny toes it.

“Oh, I’m eager alright,” he says, grin crooked on his handsome face.

“I’ll show you the front,” Simon says abruptly, startled by the way his stomach has started fluttering. “You’ll be spendin’ time there too”. Without another word, he strides to the door, pushing it open with a bit more force than he intended as he flees from the suddenly stifling kitchen.

Four pairs of eyes flick over to him as he walks to the register. He ignores the way they watch him, like they know what he was feeling in the back. There’s no way they know. He’s just flustered from the whole situation is all.

“This the front of house,” Simon grunts as Johnny saunters over. He points at each important feature behind the counter. “Register, display, menu board, coffee, hot water, tea bags. Here’s where you’ll take and make orders. We use dishes for dine ins and paper cups and bags for take outs. You’ll also clean the dining area and interact with customers. Any questions?”.

“I think I’m good fer now,” Johnny replies, wandering around the small space behind the counter, looking at everything Simon showed him.

“Good,” Simon replies, shooting Price a pointed look. “I’ll leave you to it then”.

Without waiting for an answer, he quickly walks back to the door, through the kitchen, and up the stairs. He needs a moment.

*****

The rest of the meeting with Price and Nik passes quickly. They offer John the job and he eagerly accepts, feeling lighter than he has in a while. He says a quick goodbye to Gary and Kyle, the two of them telling him to have his things ready to go by the time they get off work so he can move into the flat tonight. He hasn’t seen it yet, but seeing as Simon just learned today he’d be getting a flatmate, and with the way the man practically ran away during the tour, he figures he could use some space.

John can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips as he leaves, hailing a cab back to his flat for the last time. He can’t believe his luck. He now has a job with his friends, two incredibly generous bosses, and a place to live.

The thought of his new flat is accompanied by pretty, brown eyes.

What in the world happened back there?

The moment he met Simon it was like all his worries and sadness disappeared. He hadn’t even meant to flirt- he just got out of a bad relationship for fuck’s sake- but he caught sight of those beautiful eyes and the rest was a blur. He had blushed so sweetly too, and John had to see it again.

He shakes his head.

Get it together.

He’s about to move in with the man and he cannot afford to lose this opportunity for a small crush. He needs to push past his attraction and focus on rebuilding his life.

That doesn’t stop him from daydreaming about a deep British drawl and thick hands as he gathers his things together over the next several hours. He goes through the entire flat multiple times, determined not to leave anything behind so he never has to come back.

It's pitiful, the few boxes he has. It’s really only his clothes, toiletries, art supplies, school supplies, and a few knick knacks. Everything else, his ex had bought. He was the breadwinner and, as John looks around, he realizes how little say he had in the place. None of the furniture or décor is his taste. In fact, none of it is his at all. How could he have been so blind? How did he not realize how bad it’s always been?

John scoffs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sits heavily on the sofa. No. He is not crying over this anymore. He’s moving onto better things and he’s spent enough time mourning a life he’s come to realize never existed in the first place.

The sound of keys in the front door pulls him out of his head and his heart plummets.

He knew he’d have to see his ex again, Kyle and Gary not getting off for another hour and him getting off work now. He gathers himself, determined to continue the silent treatment he’s been giving since the initial fallout the few times they’ve run into each other in common spaces. It’s only one more time, then he never has to see the bastard again.

William enters the flat and John pointedly ignores him, staring at the television screen, unsure what he’s watching but knowing it’s better than looking at his ex. Shuffling tells him William is moving into the kitchen and he hears the fridge open and the hiss of a beer before the shuffling comes nearer. He tenses, but still doesn’t look over, even as he senses him stop by the other side of the sofa.

“You’re leavin’ today then?” the voice he once loved says, now flat and grating. John hums the affirmative, but again keeps his gaze fixed forward, determined to not give him the satisfaction of his attention. William sighs, sitting too, as large a gap between them as possible.

A wild urge to close that gap briefly grips John, but he restrains himself. That is not the man he fell in love with and, in all his reflection over the past month, he doesn’t think that man ever existed.

“So that’s it?” William continues. “Five years and you won’t even talk to me for the last time? I know I fucked up, but you won’t even say goodbye?”.

The ache from moments ago is quickly replaced by red hot anger. Leave it to the bawbag to remind him why he’s leaving. Despite the itch to turn and let loose the rage, he holds it in. He can’t react. That’s what he wants.

“Whatever,” William scoffs, setting the half empty beer on the coffee table and standing to leave again. Relief washes over John as he hears the sound of keys jingling and William heading toward the door. He pauses before opening it and John sees him turn in his periphery. He uses the last of his willpower to not mirror him.

“You know,” William grits, venom dripping on every word. “Think I dodged a bullet. At least I won’t be weighed down by some useless twat. All these years and a pile of boxes is all you have to show for it? You’ll be crawling back in no time”.

Before John can even react, he wrenches the door open and slams it just as quickly, leaving John, well and truly, alone.

He sits frozen on the sofa until a knock announces Kyle and Gary. In all that time, he doesn’t cry. Doesn’t feel much of anything. It’s a complete 180 from the way he felt this morning, the happiness and hope draining out of him as he stares at the condensation sliding down the beer in front of him. The knock shakes him out of the void his brain has become and he moves mechanically to answer the door.

The smiles slide from Kyle and Gary’s faces when he opens it, and the sight of his friends shatter the ice in his chest. With a sob, he collapses in Kyle’s arms, allowing him to gently lead him back inside and to the sofa again. He sits heavily, leaning into his friend and letting all the stress and pain out.

Were he in a different mind frame, he’d be surprised he still has tears left to shed with how much he’s cried these past weeks. More than his entire life before this mess, surely. He isn’t in any state to think about it though. Instead he just lets the tears flow, dampening Kyle’s shirt as he clings to him.

He has enough awareness to be ashamed, having fought so hard to not let William get to him again. After what he did, the following weeks of having to see him in the flat they’ve shared for years, the knowledge that even as John was grieving the end of their relationship he was going out and continuing to hookup with, seemingly, any and everybody- all of it- he thought he’d be over it by now. Hoped that he wouldn’t let him hurt him anymore.

But his words stung.

They stung, because they were true. John is a loser. He let someone else dictate his life. Let him decide what he was going to study, who he was going to see, how he would spend his free time. He doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He had to take a break from classes, unsure how to move forward now that he realizes how much he hates his major. He couldn’t even get a job or a new place to live without someone else doing the work for him.

John continues to sob, the pain in his chest mounting until he vaguely becomes aware of a soothing voice.

“You are not a loser, Tav,” Kyle murmurs softly, and John realizes he’s been blubbering his thoughts into his friend’s chest. “You’ve been through something awful and are coming out the other side. You need to give yourself a break. You’re moving on to better things and you’re gonna make a better life for yourself”.

“What if I can’t?” he sniffles. “What if I cannae do anythin’ fer myself? What if he’s right?”.

“He’s not,” Gary says firmly from beside him. John hadn’t even noticed him rubbing his back as he cried. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, and I know you’re gonna get through this”.

John lets out a shaky breath, swallowing down the next sob that wants to bubble up at his words. He curses at himself, wiping away the tears and, to his dismay, snot before chuckling hollowly.

“Fuckin’ pathetic,” he mumbles, looking down at his knees. “Cryin’ over someone who never loved me”.

“It’s normal,” Kyle chides. “I’d be more concerned if you weren’t a mess. You need to get this all out. It isn’t healthy to bottle it up”.

John sighs. He has a headache forming behind his eyes and his throat hurts, but he can tell he feels lighter, like the hurt has oozed out of him.

“Come home with us tonight,” Gary pleads. “You’re in no state to be worrying about settling in. We can worry about it tomorrow”.

“What about Simon?” John asks, tentatively. “I’m sure he’s been spendin’ the day preparin’”.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kyle says, smiling softly. “It’ll give him more time to prepare. Besides, we did kinda spring this on him”.

“Alright,” John concedes before furrowing his brow. “He isnae put out by me movin’ in, is he?”.

“No,” Kyle says, glancing over at Gary before looking back at John. “He’s just- not used to being around people very long. Not new people anyway. He’s a bit of a loner. Barely leaves his flat or the bakery”.

John cocks his head, brow furrowing further. That sounds- lonely, and definitely like someone who absolutely will be put out by him moving in.

“Don’t you worry about Simon,” Gary says knowingly. “He’ll be fine. Honestly? I think it’ll do him some good havin’ you around. He needs some socialization before he goes full hermit”.

John chuckles lightly, that hope from earlier slowly returning. Maybe this all is for the better. He can focus on helping Simon rather than wallowing in despair. This could be good. A distraction, and, if he’s lucky, maybe he’ll make a new friend. A friend that, based on his demeanor and the scars John caught a peek of, has been through his own shit.

Maybe they’ll be able to help each other.

“Alright,” he says, wiping his face one last time. “Let’s get the fuck outta here”.

*****

Simon sighs in relief as he sends a thumbs up emoji back to Kyle. With Johnny spending the night at his and Gary’s place, that gives him more time to prepare himself.

The flat is ready. He spent the rest of the day tidying up and making room for the man, emptying out a cupboard for him in the kitchen and some space in the bathroom, as well as washing the linens for the spare bed. He aired out the room, as it hasn’t been used much, and made sure everything was dust free. He may not be fully on board with having his space invaded, but he’s also not going to make him feel unwelcome.

Simon knows he’s particular. He has a routine and likes to stick to it as much as possible. It’s going to take some time to adjust to having another person around all the time. He'll also need to acclimate to no longer working alone. At least for the first little while, Johnny will be shadowing him in the mornings, so he’ll be spending practically every moment with him. The thought is both draining and, oddly, a bit- exciting?

He can’t figure out why. Ever since running away like a coward this morning from a little fluttering in his stomach, he’s tried to pinpoint what about the Scot has him so flustered. It’s definitely a crush, he knows that, but why? He hasn’t had a crush since primary school, so what about Johnny makes him so alluring? It can’t really be his looks, can it? His ridiculous haircut is not something Simon ever thought he'd be attracted to. He is handsome though, with his pretty, blue eyes and cocky grin. Plus he’s built. He’d definitely have no problem throwing him around a little.

Simon scoffs, face heating up despite the only other soul around being Lady, who’s currently dozing on his lap. Why is he thinking of that? He’s never felt that way toward anyone before. He’s not completely inexperienced. He takes care of himself just fine in that regard and has even had two (albeit lackluster) one night stands back when he was trying to figure himself out. He just- doesn’t feel the urge with other people. Until now.

No.

He is not entertaining the thought. It turns out Johnny just got out of a bad relationship, as Kyle told him they were taking him to their flat from his ex’s place when he let him know Johnny wouldn’t move in until tomorrow, and Simon isn’t going to make him feel uncomfortable just because of a dumb crush. He may have been flirting in the kitchen, but that doesn’t mean Johnny actually wants anything to happen between them. He’s going to help him acclimate to a new flat, show him the ropes in the bakery, and maybe, maybe, make a new friend. It’ll at least get Price and Nik off his back.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he mutters, scratching Lady’s head as she purrs away on his lap, blinking up at him with sleepy eyes. He sighs heavily. “Things are gonna change around here, sweetheart. You better be on your best behavior”.

Lady just meows softly before nuzzling his hand and rolling onto her side. Simon smiles and continues petting her softly. At least he can always count on her to have his back. She's been his rock in ways no one else can be in the six years he’s had her.

It was Nik’s idea for him to get a companion. On his 20th birthday, he and Price took him to the nearby shelter and he instantly fell in love with the scrappy, orange fur ball attacking the laces on his boots. She was small, but mighty and they instantly became inseparable. He can tell her things he hasn’t been able to tell anyone else. Were it not unsanitary for her to be in the downstairs kitchen, he’d bring her to work every day with him and she wouldn’t oppose. He makes up for leaving her alone for all those hours by being her personal space heater when he returns, though.

Simon chews his lip as he plays with her ears, making her sink heavier into him. How does Johnny feel about cats? She’s nonnegotiable, and he won’t hesitate to take her side should the Scot have any issues. Though, for some reason, he doesn’t think there will be a problem. Johnny seems like an adaptable person and he’s sure they’ll get along just fine.

Simon groans, wiping his free hand down his face. Why does he presume to know anything about this man? They just met today and he barely said anything to him. He must really be lonely if he’s suddenly entertaining the idea of acclimating his life for a complete stranger. No. Not just entertaining. He’s legitimately looking forward to it.

Before he can start to spiral, a knock at the door pulls him out of his head.

“It’s unlocked,” he calls. The only ones who would be knocking at this time are Nik or Price, Gary and Kyle having left well over an hour ago. It turns out to be both of them.

They greet him as they move inside, bending to pet Lady when she hops out of Simon’s lap to say hello to her other favorite people. Price continues over, sitting in the armchair next to the sofa while Nik lifts Lady, kissing her head and murmuring to her in Russian.

“How’re you doin’, son?” Price asks, nudging Simon’s foot with his. Simon sighs.

“Fine,” he replies. “Just gettin’ everythin’ ready”.

“What do you think of him?” Price asks, not one to beat around the bush when he decides to face a conversation head on. Simon shrugs.

“He’s- not terrible,” he says, still not quite sure what he thinks or how much he wants to divulge.

Obviously he knows they won’t judge him for having a crush, but they’ll be excited. Normally, he’d be able to deal with that, but the circumstances aren’t normal. He’s going to be living with and training Johnny and, given his recent heartbreak, there’s no way he’d hypothetically be interested in Simon as more than a rebound.

A dumb, curious, severely repressed part of him wants to say fuck it and just see what happens, but a more logical and tender part tells him he’ll just get his heart broken. He’s read enough articles to know he has attachment issues, hence the keeping most people at an arm's length, even his friends. He wants to be closer to them, but Kyle and Gary are in uni. One day, they will move on and Simon will be back to only having Price, Nik, and Lady.

“Oh, well that sounds like a match made in heaven then,” Price says sarcastically. Simon sighs again, but smiles.

“Alright,” he concedes. “I think he’ll be fine. He at least seems interested in the work”.

“And do you think you two will get along?” Price presses. Simon can hear the concern in his voice and it reminds him how much they care.

“Aye,” he replies. “As long as he’s good to Lady”.

“Who wouldn’t be good to such a sweet girl?” Nik coos, cradling her as she purrs loudly, always happy to be the center of attention.

“He seems like a good lad,” Price says after watching the two with a lovesick smile that makes Simon’s heart clench with fondness and longing. Oh how he wishes he could have someone who looks at him like that. “I think you two could become friends”.

“Maybe,” Simon says noncommittally. Price sighs, leaning forward and looking at him, gentle but firm.

“I’d like you to try,” he says and Simon shifts in his seat. It’s not often Price pushes him past his comfort zone, no matter how much he knows he wants to. “I know you’re content with how things are currently, but I really think this could be good for you. I’m not askin’ you to become best mates, but he could use a friend and so could you. This is an opportunity to branch out a bit, Simon. Please. Just don’t fight against it”.

Simon drops his shoulders, unable to even feel annoyed at his pressing. He knows they worry. He would too, he supposes, if he cared for someone who isolates themselves like he does. It’s not a big ask, really. All he has to do is let whatever happens, happen. He can do that. Besides, he’s tired of being alone. Maybe this could be his chance to learn how to let, not only Johnny, but the others in as well.

“Alright,” he agrees. “I won’t scare him off”.

“There’s a good lad,” Price says, nudging his foot again. Simon smiles softly.

They stay a bit longer, Nik devoting most of his attention to Lady, cuddling and whispering to her. Price gives her a few pets too as he talks a bit more with Simon, thankfully dropping the more serious tone of the evening. It soon starts getting late, at least by Simon’s schedule. He stands to walk them out, Nik begrudgingly letting Lady go, promising her to visit soon, and the three walk down the stairs and out the side door to the car park.

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Nik says, giving Simon a hug. “We can help John move in if he needs”.

“See ya tomorrow, then,” Simon replies, hugging Price as well.

“Don’t fight it,” Price reminds him one more time. Simon nods, not feeling as put off by the idea anymore. He waits at the door and waves one final time as they get into the truck and pull away.

Chapter Text

John yawns again, doing his best to not fall asleep as he nears the bakery. He’d gotten to Kyle and Gary’s in the early evening yesterday, but with how emotional he was and his anxiety about starting his life over again, he didn’t fall asleep until nearly midnight. He’d practically dragged himself out of bed this morning, careful to not wake the other two who were kind enough to let him sleep in their bed with them in his state, and readied himself for his first shift. Given he hasn’t moved in yet, he figured he probably wasn’t expected to work this morning, but he wants to give a good impression and, if he’s being honest with himself, he's eager to see Simon again.

The Brit has been lingering in the back of his mind since their first meeting, even after his encounter with William, making occasional appearances as he rode to Kyle and Gary’s flat, ate dinner, got ready for bed, woke up, and prepared himself for the day ahead. He feels a bit guilty about it, not having thought of anyone beside his ex like that in years, but they’ve been broken up for a month now, and he doesn’t owe the bampot anything, especially after yesterday.

Still, it’s strange to feel the butterflies again. He can’t say he hates it though. It makes him giddy and it definitely helps with the nerves, seeing as he gets to see him again.

He doesn’t want to be too forward though. He’s not completely sure what he’s hoping for exactly, and after asking Kyle about him last night, he learned that Simon doesn’t really seem to date. From what his friend said, it appears he practically lives in the bakery. He doesn’t want to give the man the impression he’s interested only to figure out he’s just feeling raw and lonely from the break up.

Still, it can’t hurt to have a little fun. He really just wants to see if he can get him to laugh, maybe thaw out the ice he seems to armor himself with. It would also benefit their situation if they became friends. That’s it. He just wants to make friends with his flatmate. No harm in that.

With a goal in mind, he straightens up in the back of the cab, ready to face the morning. He’d left the flat later than he intended, running on little sleep, but it’s only barely past 5. Simon still has nearly two hours left of his shift before opening, according to Gary. Plenty of time to learn- and tease.

John feels his heart leap as the cab slows to a stop outside the now familiar shop. He pays the fare and steps out, crossing his arms and shivering in the cold. He frowns when he gives the door a tug and finds it locked. Shit. He hadn’t thought about how he was going to get in and he doesn’t have Simon’s phone number yet. With a sigh, he rounds the building. Surely there has to be another door.

He finds it on the side by the car park. Unfortunately, it too is locked, so he knocks. After a moment with no answer he knocks a bit harder. Still nothing. He decides to try one more time before he figures out what to do next.

He barely gets two raps in when the door yanks open. His fist goes flying through the air and he stumbles forward slightly.

“Johnny?” says that deep, enticing voice. John suppresses a shiver as he straightens up, flushing slightly at the surprise.

“Ah, hey, Simon,” he says sheepishly. “I forgo’ ta get yer number and the door was locked. Didnae mean ta startle ye”.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Simon asks, brow scrunched as he looks around for anyone else who may be dropping in unexpectedly. “Kyle bring you to move your shit in?”.

“Ah, no,” John replies, becoming aware of the morning chill as he catches sight of his breath. “I came ta work. Price said I was workin’ the early shift with ye”.

“You didn’t have to come in today,” Simon replies, cocking his head as he stares down at him. John isn’t sure, given he doesn’t know him too well yet, but he almost seems amused.

“Ach, well, I didnae have much else ta do,” he says, pausing before deciding to take a chance. “Besides, ye ran off so quickly yesterday. I barely had time ta get ta know ye so I figured I’d get that’ one on one time in”.

Simon stiffens and John worries that he overstepped. Before he can apologize though, the blond chuckles lightly before stepping aside.

“S’pose I could use the help,” he concedes. John quickly steps into the warmth, the smell of fresh bread greeting him like it did yesterday.

The two of them step across the narrow hallway once John hangs up his coat, passing a flight of stairs to their right, and through the door across from where he entered. He recognizes the kitchen, though it now has the signs of the morning labor. Flour clings to the countertops and dishes sit throughout, many accumulated at the sink. He looks round at the ovens, all of them baking the bread he smells, along with some muffins. He even notices the proofing cabinet has some batter or dough in it.

“Ye seem ta have a good system goin’,” John comments, unsure now if he’s gonna be of much help. Simon seems to have it all under control.

“Just routine at this point,” Simon says, like he hadn’t thought about it before.

John bites his lip. What if he realizes he doesn’t need the extra hands? He’s sure he’d be utilized later in the day, Price seems eager to help him out, but he wants to work with Simon. Wants to spend more time with the enigmatic man and get to know him better.

Seeming to pick up on his concern, Simon grins cheekily. It’s unfairly attractive.

“Could use some help with dishes,” he hums. “They always tend to pile up”.

John scoffs playfully, raising a brow and giving him an unimpressed look.

“I see,” he sighs dramatically. “Yer just usin’ me ta do the grunt work”. Simon shrugs.

“We’ve all gotta start somewhere, Johnny” he replies. John laughs, ignoring the butterflies that erupt in his stomach at the nickname.

He'd always hated it growing up, his older sisters using it to remind him he would always be their kid brother. To this day, he’ll level them with a sullen glare if they bring it up, but there’s something about the way Simon says it.

“Alright,” he agrees. “At least let me get some coffee first. I’m near dead on my feet”.

“I haven’t started it yet,” Simon replies, leading him through the kitchen to the other door. “Don’t drink the stuff, so I save it for last”.

“How do ye function without it?” John cries, following him to the front of house and watching him prepare the pot. He himself doesn’t usually feel human without at least one cup, especially when he was still taking classes. Simon looks at him incredulously.

“Tea,” he says, like it’s obvious.

“Fuckin’ Brits,” John mutters, rolling his eyes, but he can’t keep the charade up as his heart warms at the fact that Simon is making the coffee for him.

Get it together, MacTavish.

“I can do it,” he offers. Simon merely shrugs.

“Consider it an apology for yesterday,” he says, leaning against the counter as they wait for it to brew. “Didn’t mean to run off like that. I was just- overwhelmed”.

“Aye,” John says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Kyle told me ye found out ‘bout it all just yesterday. Didnae mean ta be such a bother”.

“You’re not,” Simon says quickly, and John can see the way his cheeks flush. He pretends not to notice, looking back at the coffee pot and fighting the smile that wants to spread across his lips. They’re silent for a moment before Simon speaks again.

“I’m- I’m not used to havin’ someone new around,” he admits. “We don’t get a lot of new people. I’m usually just around the team and Lady”.

“Lady?” John asks, a fleeting feeling of panic at the idea that maybe Simon does have someone. He swallows it down. It’s none of his concern or business.

“My cat,” Simon clarifies, and a surprising amount of relief blankets John. He lights up both at the confirmation that Lady is not a partner and the realization that Simon has a pet.

“Ye have a cat?” he asks excitedly. “Is she upstairs?”.

He hasn’t had a pet since leaving home. William never liked animals and unilaterally decided they’d never have one. God, he was so stupid to have continued with him. It’s as if his eyes are opened every day to another reason why he should’ve left a long time ago.

“Aye,” Simon replies, looking at him curiously. “I’ve had her since she was a kitten. She’s my girl”.

“I havnea had a pet since I left home,” John sighs. “I cannae wait ta meet her”.

An expression John can’t quite place flashes across Simon’s face before he huffs out a small chuckle and smiles slightly. John can’t help smiling too. This is going surprisingly well. Making friends with his not so stoic flatmate may not be so hard after all.

He doesn’t realize they’ve been staring at each other in silence until Simon straightens up, clearing his throat.

“Right,” he says, turning back to the pot. “I’ll let you sort out your drink. I’ve gotta get the bread out the oven. Don’t take too long”.

He’s gone before John can reply, the kitchen door swinging behind him. John hums thoughtfully as he fixes his coffee, adding enough cream and sugar to concern a doctor.

It's hard to get a good read on Simon. One moment he’s entertaining John’s teasing and the next his walls are up. He doesn’t have enough information or data to sift through yet, but based on what he does know, it’s not surprising that he isn’t really comfortable opening up. It’s obvious he has a rough past, what with how protective Kyle and Gary seemed to be of him last night during their conversation, and John finds himself hoping to gain his trust enough for him to open up about it. It doesn’t seem like he has many opportunities to do so.

As per Simon’s request, he doesn’t linger in the front, instead bringing his overly sweet caffeine with him to the kitchen. Simon is placing bread on cooling racks and John slides past him toward the sink. He’s handed an apron, and is quickly walked through the process before starting on the large pile of dishes. It’s mindless work, something he’s all too familiar with, having scrubbed many dishes in his youth, and it gives him ample opportunity to sneak glances at Simon, stealing even longer ones when he takes breaks to drain his coffee.

There’s something beautiful about the way he works, strong hands kneading dough, thick forearms flexing as he rolls it out to cut circles out for cookies. His face is lax, serene as he loses himself in his labor and John can even swear he hears him humming.

They work in comfortable silence for a while, John not really having any questions yet and also not wanting to disturb Simon’s flow. It’s once he finishes with the last of the pile that he finally speaks up.

“Want me ta get started on those?” he asks, nodding his head towards the bowls near Simon. The older man jumps slightly, like he forgot John was here.

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” he replies, brow furrowed again. “Yeah go ahead”.

John wipes his wet hands, as to not let them drip all over the floor, and gathers the remaining dishes while Simon starts cleaning the counters. There aren’t as many, and they soon have the place clean, all confections either baking or cooling. John watches as Simon checks the bread on the racks and moves closer.

“How’d ye get it ta look like that?” he asks, noticing the intricate designs on the tops of the loaves. Simon smiles slightly.

“Before you bake it you sprinkle some flour on top and make little cuts in the dough,” he explains.

“It’s lovely,” John replies. “Almost a shame ta eat it”.

“You should see the cakes we make,” Simon says. John perks up.

“Ye do cakes?” he asks. He’s always wanted to learn how to decorate cakes. He’s found himself many a time watching video after video of complicated piping techniques on TikTok when he can’t sleep.

“Special orders,” Simon replies. “We’ve got a few lined up for Sunday. That’s when the bakery’s closed. Gives everyone a day off unless they’re helpin’ with orders”.

“Can I help?” John asks, eager for more opportunities to watch the man work. Simon looks surprised.

“You know how to decorate cakes?” he asks.

“No,” John answers honestly. “But I have a steady hand and I’m a fast learner. And- I, ah, I do some art”.

It’s been a while since he’s indulged in his favorite hobby, his love for it stifled by how busy he’s been with school and his ex’s subtle digs, but now that he’s starting anew, he can’t wait to get back into it.

“You’re an artist?” Simon asks, but it’s not in the same judgmental tone William always had. He sounds- interested.

“Sorta,” he says, fidgeting with the knot at the front of his apron in lieu of looking at those curious eyes anymore. “Havenae had a chance ta do much lately”.

“Doesn’t mean you’re not an artist,” Simon replies. John does look up in surprise at that. It’s been a long time since he’s been validated in his art.

“I- I s’pose not,” he breathes.

They hold each other’s gaze, John’s heart squeezing at the fact that Simon has given him more care and confidence in six words than his ex did in nearly as many years. He starts to say- something- a thank you maybe? As he tries to figure it out, the sound of an engine catches Simon’s attention.

“That’s Nik and Price,” he says, turning back to the bread. “Better get these to the front”.

“Let me help,” John says, taking one of the trays.

They work together to restock the front, placing the bread and cookies in the display cases. It’s as they’re bringing in the last two trays that Nik and Price enter.

“John,” Price says, grinning as they move toward the counter. “Didn’t expect to see you here this mornin’”.

“Wanted ta get started right away,” John replies, gathering the trays as Simon finishes up. “Besides, thought it’d be good ta get ta know Simon a bit more before I move in”.

“Aye,” Price says, looking intensely at him. John feels almost like he’s suddenly been placed under a microscope.

“How did your first day go?” Nik asks, stepping in front of his husband and regarding John much more warmly. “You enjoy yourself?”.

“It was great,” John answers, grinning. “Even though Simon wouldnae let me bake”.

“You asked what I needed help with,” Simon retorts, shrugging smugly. “Dishes needed doin’”.

“Ye just didnae wanna do them yerself,” John shoots back, laughing. Simon chuckles.

“Dunno what you mean, Johnny,” he replies.

John rolls his eyes, looking back at Nik. He’s startled to find him watching him, eyes shining and smile wide on his face. Before he can say anything though, he hears a sigh and feels a hand gripping his elbow. The contact burns pleasantly.

“Better finish up,” Simon grunts. “And it’s ‘bout time you see the flat”. Without another word, he’s whisked away.

*****

“Dunno how much you have in terms of furniture,” Simon says, leading the way up the stairs to the flat. “But I have a spare room with a bed, desk, and dresser”.

“That’ll be great,” Johnny replies, voice suddenly a bit stilted. “I only have a few boxes”.

Simon glances back curiously, but doesn’t comment. He’s not sure if Johnny knows Kyle told him about his break up, and the furrow in his brow and small frown keeps him from prying.

“If you need anythin’ else let me know,” Simon continues, a sudden urge to see that furrow relax taking hold of him. “I may have spares”.

He's as surprised as Johnny looks about the offer, but can’t even regret it with the way his frown indeed turns into a soft smile.

“Thanks, Simon,” Johnny breathes. The Brit just hums, not trusting that his voice won’t crack at the way his throat catches.

He decides to ignore it for now, like he did with Nik and Price’s knowing looks downstairs. It’s evident they were shocked to find them acting so friendly with each other, but it’s not like anything happened back there. He was just trying to make Johnny feel welcome and, for once, succeeding. Regardless, he’s sure they hope there’s potential.

He's finding he’s more and more willing for there to be potential. He rather likes Johnny and it seems the Scot at least enjoys his company. Simon’s been around enough people put off by him to know that Johnny was acting the exact opposite this morning.

He wasn’t expecting him to show up so early, and the knock had been a surprise. He’d even shut off his usual music to make sure he wasn’t just imagining it. But no. He opened the door to find a pink-nosed Johnny standing at the side door, looking sheepishly up at him. Then he just came in and worked alongside Simon like they’ve done it a million times. There was no awkwardness, even when they worked in silence. It was comfortable. Familiar.

“Watch out for Lady,” he warns when they reach the landing, stopping at the door. “She won’t run out, but she will do her best to trip us when we go in. She lives for attention”.

“Doesnae take after her Da, then, aye?” Johnny teases. Simon chuckles.

“Not really,” he admits. “She’s much more pleasant than I am”.

“Yer no’ so bad,” Johnny argues, smile widening. Simon feels his cheeks warm again and decides he needs a distraction. He turns and opens the door, moving into the flat and letting the Scot follow close behind.

He watches with bated breath as Johnny looks around for a second before Lady, as promised, begins weaving between their legs, having been waiting by the door at the sound of them ascending the stairs. She meows at Johnny, sniffing him before rubbing her cheek on his leg.

“Aren’t ye a bonnie lass?” he coos, squatting down and letting her sniff his hand before petting her. “My name’s John. Yer Da is lettin’ me stay with the two of ye fer a bit, if that’s alright with ye”.

Lady meows again, using her front paws to push herself up on Johnny’s knee to sniff his face. He chuckles, lowering himself down to sit on the floor. She instantly crawls into his lap, nuzzling his arms and curling into a ball.

“I think she likes me,” Johnny says, grinning up at Simon who stands there, frozen, as he watches the whole scene.

He figured she’d be okay with him coming in as she was when the team met her, but never has she warmed up to someone so quickly. She’s usually a bit more cautious, watching them for a bit, even conning a treat or two out of people, before ultimately accepting cuddles. This though? This is new. It almost feels like a sign of the kind of person Johnny is, and Simon feels himself falling a bit more.

Wait.

Falling?

Simon clears his throat, the terrifying and ridiculous thought shoved deep, deep down to deal with later.

“Guess that settles it then,” he replies. It comes out much more reedy than he intends and he clears his throat again. “I’ll show you your room. You can bring her if you’d like”.

“Aye,” Johnny says, something like curiosity dancing behind his eyes as he looks at Simon. He stands up, holding Lady to his chest as he goes. “C’mon, Princess”.

Simon does his best to ignore the swirling thoughts and emotions as he leads him through the small flat. He points out the sitting room and kitchen, showing him the cupboard space he cleared for him and letting him know he can use any other food, as well as dishes.

“I can chip in more fer groceries once I start gettin’ paid,” Johnny says, looking a bit awkward at the thought of using all of Simon’s things. “I dinnae have much now, but I’ve sold some things so I can help a bit”.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Johnny,” Simon says, waving him off. “Neither of us needs to pay rent here, so it’s not like we have many expenses. Besides, this flat is sort of a- place for fresh starts”.

Johnny looks at him with a mixture of curiosity and shame. Simon sighs, leaning against one of the counters.

“Nik and Price took me in when I was a lad,” he explains, oddly at ease opening up to him. “They didn’t need to. Didn’t even know me, but they brought me in and I’ve lived here ever since. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without them. There’s no shame in needin’ a bit of support and I- we want to be that for you”.

Johnny’s shoulders sag and he hugs Lady a bit tighter. His eyes look suspiciously shiny, but he smiles anyway. Simon wonders if he always tries to put up a brave front. Like he’s one to talk.

“Sounds like ye all really care ‘bout each other,” he says softly. Simon chuckles.

“I’d say so,” he agrees. “And now you’re part of the team too. We’re not gonna abandon you, so don’t worry so much”.

Johnny nods as he blinks rapidly and Simon watches his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows. Not wanting him to feel awkward about breaking down in front of, essentially, a stranger, Simon pushes off the counter.

“Right,” he says, nodding at the Scot. “Your room”.

He leads him down the hall, quickly pointing out the bathroom and finally opening the door across from his own bedroom.

“Like I said before,” he says, having Johnny step in front of him. “It’s not much, and we can get whatever you need later, but it has the bare essentials for now”.

He watches Johnny take it in, finding himself holding his breath as he waits. After a quick scan around, Johnny turns back to him, smiling softly.

“It’s perfect,” he breathes.

Simon’s throat clicks when he swallows and he nods.

“Good,” he replies, heart swelling in unexplainable pride that Johnny likes the room. “I’ll leave you to settle in then. Gary and Kyle should be here soon with your things and we’ll get you properly moved in”.

He doesn’t linger for an answer, instead shutting both Johnny and Lady in the room. He walks in a daze back to the kitchen, leaning heavily against the counter again.

What’s happening to him? Why is Johnny affecting him so much? They met not even 24 hours ago and he’s already incredibly invested in the man. He wants him to like him. Wants to make sure he’s happy here and, stupidly, hopes he’ll stick around. That’s ridiculous though. This is a temporary bump on Johnny’s road to moving on with his life. He’ll most likely work for a few months, save some money, and find bigger and better things. Simon is just a line in his story.

He's dismayed to find his chest aching and decides to, as always, ignore his feelings. It’s better to shut them away and not let them take root. So he busies himself with making lunch and already finds himself preparing enough for two. Whatever. Just because he’s having an internal crisis, doesn’t mean he’s going to let Johnny starve.

Chapter Text

John sighs heavily as he lowers himself onto the bed, letting Lady situate herself in his lap comfortably. He absentmindedly strokes her as his mind whirrs. What a day, and it’s not even noon yet. Between running on almost no sleep, starting the first job he’s had in three years, and the strange dance he and Simon seem to be doing around each other, he’s beat. The rollercoaster of emotions hasn’t helped either. Why is he so impacted by him? His decision from this morning to just make friends with the man is slowly slipping.

There’s just something about him.

Something just draws John in and, by the way he’s acting, Simon seems to feel the same. He doesn’t strike John as someone easily flustered, but he can’t seem to go 10 minutes without averting his gaze or blushing. It’s so incredibly obvious the attraction is mutual. The only thing holding John back is his situation. He doesn’t want to come off as a needy slag desperate to get over his ex. He also doesn’t want to push Simon’s boundaries. He’s really starting to suspect the man has even less experience with romantic relationships than Kyle and Gary hinted at. John definitely doesn’t want to become the reason he swears them off entirely.

Still, he wants to explore this. William was his first love, but he doesn’t remember it ever feeling like this, even when things were still good. Simon is just so easy to be around. He hasn’t once felt the need to not be himself. In fact, he finds himself needing to stamp down the urge to open up and pour his heart out about everything he’s been bottling up the past month.

John flops down on his back, throwing his arm over his eyes as he breathes deeply again. The smell of laundry detergent fills his senses. Simon washed his bedding.

“How am I s’posed ta resist him when he’s so damn thoughtful?” he groans softly. Lady chirps, standing and padding up to his chest where she curls up again. He chuckles, peeking down at her.

“Ye think I could get him ta like me?” he asks her, scratching her head. She purrs loud enough he can feel it rumbling inside his body. “Ye know him better than I do. Ye think I have a shot?”.

She just continues purring, not helping in the slightest.

John sighs again, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe he should just forget about it. The fallout if he messes up with Simon wouldn’t be good. He could lose out on his new job and living arrangement. He’s not gonna find another place that won’t charge him rent, that’s for sure. Plus, he could strain his friendship with Kyle as he was the one that vouched for him. With Price and Nik apparently being father figures to Simon, there’s no way they wouldn’t take his side should John make their situation uncomfortable. Most of all, he could hurt Simon. Maybe it’s not worth the risk.

Although-

If Simon were the one to pursue things, that would be different. It’s not like John just wants a quick fuck. He likes him. Even if he gets just one date to see if there’s anything there. He’s never been one for casual flings, something he figured out shortly before meeting William. He’s too much of a romantic. Wants nothing more than to pour all his love into someone else, and Simon seems like he could use just that. It actually hurts John’s heart to see how closed off he is. What does a person have to go through to isolate themselves like that? Plus, him making the first move would be a clear, definitive sign he’s interested in something real.

“Poor bloke could use some love,” John mumbles. Lady meows again and he finds her staring at him intensely, like she agrees.

“Well then,” he tells her, stroking her cheek. “Guess it’s decided. If he gives me a shot, I’ll take it”.

He’ll try his luck. If Simon doesn’t share his interest, he’ll know it wasn’t meant to be. He’ll leave it up to him and hope his heart doesn’t break again in the process. It seems though, for some odd reason, like a risk worth taking.

*****

Simon tenses when he hears a door open and the pitter patter of Lady coming down the hall. He rolls out his shoulders, determined not to show his reaction as Johnny follows her into the kitchen, and grunts out a hello as he stirs the soup.

“Smells good,” Johnny hums, padding up to stand beside him. Simon’s heart flutters when he feels the heat of him on his arm and it takes him a moment to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth to reply.

“Chicken and rice soup,” he says, turning off the stove. “Good for the cold weather”.

“Aye,” Johnny agrees, shuffling away to allow Simon room to gather two bowls. “Though, ye didnae hafta cook fer me”.

“No sense in makin’ two different meals,” Simon shrugs as he ladles out two portions. “’Sides, you can thank me by doin’ the dishes”.

“Is that all I am ta ye?” Johnny replies, affronted. “A dishwasher?”.

“You’re quite good at it,” Simon teases, and he can’t help but smile at the cute pout on Johnny’s face.

“We could-,” he starts, stomach fluttering at what he’s about to propose. Johnny cocks his head, big, bright eyes curious. Simon swallows. “We could cook together. For meals. Less work that way. Or split the work. I cook one meal and you clean, then switch. Whatever”.

“I’d like that, workin’ together,” Johnny replies. “I’m pretty good at cookin’. Did all of it back with- Back at my last place”.

Simon’s heart drops at the way Johnny’s mouth presses into a hard line and the glimmer in his eyes goes cold. Dammit. He didn’t mean to make him sad.

“Maybe you could show me some new recipes,” Simon urges, hating the hurt he sees. “I usually just cycle through a few usual dishes”.

“Aye,” Johnny replies, tense face relaxing a bit. “I have some good ones”.

Simon nods and they get to eating their lunch. He tries hard not to watch Johnny’s mouth as he eats. The way his tongue pokes out occasionally to catch some of the broth as it drips. How he smiles a bit after each spoonful. He fails miserably.

Soon enough though, they finish and work together to wash up, despite Johnny’s protests that he was only teasing and doesn’t mind cleaning by himself. Simon just tells him it’ll be faster with them both. He doesn’t deem it necessary to add that he also wants to keep talking to him. He also keeps glancing at the other man’s hands as they work. They’re nice. Strong and skilled. Knowing now that he’s an artist, he’s sure they’re steady and nimble. He should have no trouble decorating cakes and cookies once he gets the hang of it.

Once they finish cleaning the kitchen, Johnny checks his phone and lets him know that Gary and Kyle will be there soon to bring Johnny’s things before they start their shift. He nods, grabbing Lady and shutting her in his room, much to her chagrin, so they can keep the walkways clear. She wouldn’t run out of the door they’ll need keep open, but he wouldn’t put it past her to cause a myriad of injuries as they carry boxes in.

“It’s no’ much,” Johnny says as they head downstairs. “Shouldnae take more than one trip each”.

“You sure you got everythin’ from your last place?” Simon asks, regretting the question immediately at the stony look on his face.

“Aye,” Johnny says, tone clipped. “Turns out no’ workin’ fer three years means ye dinnae end up havin’ much of yer own shit”.

Simon frowns, but doesn’t respond. There’ve been a couple comments now that Johnny has made about his past relationship that tell Simon it wasn’t a good one. That whoever he was with didn’t appreciate him. It makes his blood boil, knowing someone out there could treat someone like Johnny so cruelly.

Simon blinks as he holds the door to the carpark open for the Scot. Why is he getting so worked up about this? He doesn’t even know the man. Sure, he hates bullies, a lingering feeling after his initial upbringing, but this is more than just concern about someone being treated unfairly. He’s upset Johnny specifically had to endure that. It’s really none of his business, but he finds himself wanting to make a better living environment for him here.

“There they are,” Johnny says, waving at Kyle and Gary who have pulled into a spot. Simon follows him over, greeting their mutual friends.

“Didn’t realize you were still going in for your shift,” Kyle says, eyes glinting as he smirks at Johnny. “Must’ve been pretty eager to get back here”.

“Just wanted ta make a good impression,” Johnny replies. He chuckles, but Simon catches the glare he gives Kyle, who merely snickers.

“How’d it go?” Gary asks, elbowing Kyle in a way that would’ve been discreet had Simon not been watching them like a hawk. He feels like he's out of the loop somehow even though the conversation is one he can easily follow. Like they’re all in on some secret he can’t parse out.

“Great,” Johnny replies, stepping to the boot of the car and opening it. “Learned a lot”.

He begins handing boxes to them all, each of them taking two or three. It really isn’t much. The two Simon takes are a bit heavier and labelled BOOKS. Maybe from his uni classes? He hasn’t asked yet what Johnny’s studying. Perhaps art, though, from the way he had talked about it earlier, it sounds like he hasn’t done much of it lately. Like it’s just a hobby.

Maybe his ex didn’t support an art degree. Anger bubbles in his gut again at the thought, but he stamps it down as he sets the boxes in Johnny’s room. It’s none of his business, but maybe he could convince him to pursue it. If he’s interested of course.

Simon heads back down to make sure everything’s been unloaded and finds Kyle and Johnny still at the car, heads leaned forward as the talk lowly. It looks almost conspiratorial, like the two are plotting something.

Johnny catches sight of him approaching and immediately clams up. His cheeks are flushed, but it is rather cold. It’s, again, none of his business what they’re talking about. If he’s up to no good, Simon is confident Kyle will keep him in check. He’s the one who would suffer most of Price’s wrath after all.

“Am I interrupting somethin’?” he asks, looking between the two younger men.

“Tav was just telling me that you two are getting along quite well,” Kyle answers, ignoring the look Johnny shoots him.

“Tav?” Simon asks.

“Short for MacTavish,” Kyle replies. “We met in a class we shared at uni. The professor always used our last names and there was another John we’d study with at the time so it just stuck”.

“And we aren’t allowed to call him Johnny,” Gary adds, shit-eating grin on his face. Simon quirks a brow, glancing at Johnny’s now red face.

“You don’t like the nickname?” he asks, kicking himself mentally. He really should have asked about it the first time he said it.

“Not usually,” Johnny admits, glancing away. “I think only you can pull it off”.

Simon blinks, unsure how to feel about that. On one hand, something in him warms at the special privilege. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to make the man uncomfortable by calling him something he doesn’t want to be called.

“I can stop,” he offers. “I can just call you John”.

“No,” Johnny says, rather quickly, face still flaming. “No, I- I like when ye say it”.

Simon stares at him, heart rabbiting at the confession. When he says it? Why only when he says it?

“Gary, help me with these last boxes, yeah?” Kyle says, amusement evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” Gary replies, sounding just as gleeful.

*****

Gary follows Kyle up the stairs, smile wide on his face.

The plan seems to be working.

After deciding to help Simon and Tav get together yesterday, all of them agreed to let the two of them grow close on their own. With a bit of encouragement, of course.

As expected, Tav had a million questions about Simon when he spent the night at their flat. Wanting to help them along, and also distract him from the disastrous last encounter he had with his arsehole ex, he and Kyle answered all his questions the best they could. By the end, Tav had confessed he felt a connection to Simon, but also shared his fears of moving on too quickly and messing things up. They assured him that Simon seems interested to them but cautioned him about the man’s inexperience.

Gary had not expected things to progress so quickly. It took him and Kyle a long time to break down Simon’s walls. They could tell he needed the assurance that they were genuine in their care for him and it was almost a privilege to earn the smile and reciprocated fist bump for the first time.

Tav, though, seems to have bulldozed right through those walls. It’s not hard to tell that Simon is smitten. They both are, and it’s incredibly sweet to see. Who knew watching two grown men falling for each other could be so adorable?

“What were you two talkin’ about?” Gary asks as he and Kyle set the last of the boxes on the floor of Tav’s new room.

It’s odd thinking of it like that, seeing as they haven’t been in Simon’s flat very often. He’s kind enough to make them dinner on occasion, but he and Kyle try not to intrude too often.

“Not much,” Kyle replies with an air of faux nonchalance. “Just panicking about how amazing and thoughtful his new flatmate is”.

Gary perks up at that.

“Are you shittin’ me?” he whispers excitedly. “Already? It hasn’t even been a full day!”.

“I know,” Kyle replies, grinning broadly. “He said he wants to take him out, but he’s nervous. Same shit he was saying last night. But, he said he plans on letting Simon make the first move”.

“Maybe we can nudge him in the right direction” Gary suggests. “Ya know, give him some advice. He’s gotta ask one of us, right? I doubt he’s gonna go to Price or Nik about this”.

“Maybe,” Kyle concedes. “Just, don’t push him too hard if he asks. I don’t want him to feel like we’re only telling him to go for it because we all worry about him”.

Gary sighs. That’s a fair point. All of them have done their best to get Simon out of the flat on numerous occasions. He and Kyle have even offered to be his wingmen or set him up with one of their friends, but to no avail. He’s content with his life as it is, it seems. Although, now, Tav seems to be changing that.

“We’ll just be honest with him like we were with Tav,” Gary says as they head to the bakery kitchen. “We’ll tell him it’s obvious the feeling’s mutual and to go for it. It’s what we would’ve said if Tav hadn’t talked to you”.

“Yeah,” Kyle agrees, squeezing his hand. “Sounds like a plan”.

*****

John chuckles nervously as Kyle and Gary walk away. Why the fuck did he say that? I like it when ye say it? What the fuck?

“Sorry,” he swallows, fiddling with the sleeve of his jumper. “That was kinda odd, yeah?”.

“No,” Simon replies, swallowing just as hard. “Just- wasn’t expectin’ it”.

“I wasnae either, ta be honest,” John says, relieved that Simon isn’t put off by it. “But it’s true. I like when ye call me Johnny”.

“I won’t stop then,” Simon says, grinning softly.

John chuckles and nods, trying not to stare at the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. He has a nice smile. He doesn’t do it often, but when he does, it’s warm and genuine. Maybe he can bring it out of the grumpy man more often. It’s worth a shot. He still hasn’t gotten a full laugh out of him yet.

“Let’s get back inside, yeah?” Simon suggests, shutting the boot. “Freezin’ my arse off”.

“Aye,” John agrees, grinning cheekily. “That’d be a right shame”.

Simon chuckles, shaking his head, but he seems- flattered? John still can’t quite read him, but his cheeks flush more than they already were in the cold and his smile is still there. Victory.

“So, what do ye usually do after yer shift?” John asks as they make their way back up the steps. He doesn’t hear anyone else in the flat, so it seem Kyle and Gary already headed to the kitchen.

“Well, we already had lunch,” Simon replies, taking off his shoes at the door and shucking off his coat. “I’ll read for a bit, do some exercise, then go back down and see if they need some help. I’m in and out of the bakery all day”.

“Do ye go out anywhere?” John calls as he walks down the hall to let Lady out of his room, knowing the answer. He can see the way Simon slightly tenses in discomfort.

“Sometimes,” he says evasively, stepping around the cheeky cat trying to weave around his legs as he walks. “When I need to run errands”.

“I meant more fer fun,” John presses. He doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but he knows from Gary and Kyle how isolated he is, and intends to help change that. If he's allowed.

“C’mon, Johnny,” Simon sighs, eyes staring knowingly into his for a moment before he sits in the armchair. John follows, sitting on the sofa while he waits for him to continue. Lady jumps up with him and settles on his lap. Simon’s eyes flick down to her and John swears the corner of his mouth twitches.

“I’m sure Kyle and Gary have told you a bit about me,” he says, the hint of a smile gone. John nods, unable to lie to him. Simon chuckles darkly. “So you know I’m a bit of recluse. My only friends are the team and Lady. My life is here. I don’t go out much and I’m not one for crowds. It’s quiet around here and you’ll probably get bored. I’m not gonna be fun to be around. You’ll be better off spendin’ time with Kyle and Gary when they get off work”.

John cocks his head thoughtfully, taking in the way Simon won’t make eye contact with him, how he’s definitely tense now, and how he can see the sadness written all over his face. John scoffs.

“Well, that’s a load of shit,” he replies, petting Lady gently. Simon snaps his head up, looking at him incredulously. John sighs.

“I’ve had a great time with ye, Simon,” he says, looking at him pointedly. “Ye’re funny and kind and good company. So ye dinnae like ta go out much. That’s fine. We’ll find things ta do ‘round here. I’m no' promisin’ not ta drag ye out every now and then, but I’m a homebody too. I want ta get ta know ye though. I want ta be yer friend, Simon. No’ just yer flatmate”.

Simon visibly swallows, blinking hard. John gives him another smile, hoping to settle him. He does want that. If anything, becoming friends will hopefully lead to more, and now John is sure Simon could use some love, romantic or otherwise.

Lady meows, butting his hand that has stopped stroking her with her head. They both chuckle and John continues his petting.

“Sorry, Princess,” he chuckles. “Was just tryin’ ta help yer Da see he’s bein’ an eejit”.

“That your way of makin’ friends? Insultin’ them?” Simon asks, but there’s no bite in his words and the shadow of a smile is back. John shrugs.

“Is it workin’?” he asks. Simon hums.

“Maybe”.

John grins, petting Lady some more. His plan might actually work.

*****

The rest of the day is much the same as any other. Simon does his workout routine while Johnny takes a nap, being “pure done in” from getting little sleep the night before. After his workout he showers and pops down to the bakery to check in.

“We’re fine, Si,” Gary assures him, currently making some more cookies with Nik while Kyle runs the front, Price in the office. “Go hang out with Tav. You two should get to know each other better”.

“He’s asleep,” Simon says, mindlessly washing his hands and joining Gary in scooping out balls of dough to place on cookie sheets. “Figured he needs the rest”.

“Yeah, took him a while to wind down last night,” Gary admits. Simon glances up at him before focusing back on his work.

“He said that,” Simon replies casually. “Must’ve been wound up from the move”.

Gary glances at him now, and Simon can see him studying him in his periphery.

“What’d he tell you?” he asks. Simon shrugs.

“Nothin’ really,” he admits. “But from the bits you and Kyle have told me and some comments he’s made, I can tell it wasn’t a clean break”.

Gary sighs, glancing around to make sure Nik isn’t listening. Given he’s currently singing softly to himself in Russian, they’re probably in the clear.

“It’s not my place to give you the details,” Gary murmurs, frowning. “But I will say, it wasn’t good. Nothin’ physical or anything, but it’s been a rough couple years for Tav”.

Simon’s blood boils yet again and he forces himself to focus on the task at hand.

Who the fuck could treat Johnny with anything less than devotion? The man is perfect. Kind, genuine, helpful. He seems to actually care about Simon when he doesn’t even know him. He’s probably like that with everyone, even with everything he’s gone through.

“He really could use a friend, you know,” Gary says, interrupting Simon’s thoughts. He blinks at him. “Tav. He could use someone to talk to. Someone to help him through this. Someone who cares”.

“I don’t even know him,” Simon says, sounding wistful, even to himself. Gary chuckles.

“And yet you’re the one who gets to call him Johnny,” he points out. “He likes you. I can tell. Wouldn’t stop askin’ about you last night”.

“Yeah?” Simon asks, too surprised by that to hide his interest. Gary smiles, but it isn’t teasing like he expected.

“Yeah. He wanted to know everythin’ we do,” Gary replies.

“What’d’ya tell him?” Simon asks curiously. Now that he thinks about it, he’s not sure how Gary views him.

“We were honest,” Gary replies. “Told him you’re a bit reserved, like your privacy, that kind of thing”.

Simon schools his expression, but he can feel the way his shoulders sag. That’s accurate, and he’d told the Scot the same thing, but it sounds so- boring. Why is Johnny still so interested if that’s what he was told?

“And,” Gary continues, grinning like he knows what’s going through his head. “We told him how caring you are and that you’re a great friend once you let people in. It’s true, Si. You’re funny and fun to be around. You just need to let him see that side of you”.

Simon nods, throat suddenly tight with emotion. He didn’t realize he was cared for like that. Didn’t realize they actually like him.

“Do you-,” he starts, knowing his question will reveal so much and feeling a bit embarrassed by how childish it will sound. “Do you think I could get him to- like me?”.

This time he does look at Gary, wanting to see his reaction. To know if he’ll tell him the truth. He’s startled to find Gary melting, smile so soft and real.

“I don’t think you’ll have any trouble doin’ that,” he replies.

Simon nods, turning back to the tray he’s filled.

“I’ll put these in the oven,” he says, carrying it away from the counter. He takes his time, checking on the other goods baking and cooling, unsure how to end the conversation.

“Don’t worry yourself so much, сына ,” Nik pipes up, watching him warmly. “Just be yourself and don’t overthink it”.

“Should’ve known you’d be listenin’,” Simon chuckles, shaking his head. Nik shrugs.

“Just looking out for my boy,” he says.

Simon smiles, letting Nik squeeze his shoulder as he makes his way back toward the door.

“Good luck, Si,” Gary calls, grinning widely at him.

“Thanks,” Simon replies, grinning back. “For everything”.

Chapter Text

Life settles a bit once John finally moves in. He’d forgotten what it was like to live without having to walk on eggshells or trying to avoid seeing his ex as much as possible. He feels like he can finally breathe. Like he can live without constant stress and tension threatening to snap at any moment.

That’s not to say he’s fully adjusted.

His new routine is taking some getting used to. Waking up at 3 am every day is difficult and he’s found he’s quite grumpy in the morning. It’s hard to stay that way with Simon though.

After the first morning in the flat, where John kept nodding off at the table during breakfast, Simon went out while he napped that afternoon and bought a coffee pot along with grounds and flavored creamer. Knowing that he doesn’t particularly like crowds, or even coffee, made the gesture all the more special.

They’ve stuck to their agreement of cooking together and they always share their meals at the table. John’s learned a bit more about Simon through conversations while they eat and work. He’s 4 years older than John and has lived in the flat since he was 16, first with Nik and Price, then on his own. The bakery has been the only job he’s ever had and he loves it. He likes to read and listen to music, his taste in both quite diverse. He's been teaching himself how to play guitar and has gotten quite good. He’s even practiced a couple times since John moved in. He also crochets and was kind enough to make John a beanie, which has become one of his most prized possessions.

As for himself, John has found it hard to figure out who he is. Since being in a better place, both mentally and physically, he realizes he’s let go of the things that used to bring him joy. It was a few days into living with Simon, as he sat on the sofa journaling while his flatmate was watering the various plants he keeps around the sitting room, that he realized he doesn’t remember the last time he drew something. Sure, he doodles and sketches in his journal every so often, but when was the last time he really created something? The realization hit him like a truck and he was ashamed to find himself tearing up. Simon noticed immediately and didn’t skip a beat before striding over to sit beside him. John angrily wiped away the tears as he choked out his misery to the man. Simon took it in stride, awkwardly wrapping an arm around John’s shoulders and letting him cry.

It should’ve made things uncomfortable after that, breaking down in front of someone he was still getting to know, but instead it brought them closer. In fact, he’s opened up about more since then, happy to have someone to talk to. John can’t think of a time his ex ever cared for him like that and his heart swells every time he thinks about it.

That moment has also made his little crush into a burning infatuation, which leads him to the first of what will probably be many awkward encounters.

It’s six days into living here and for the first time he didn’t feel the need to take a nap, body finally getting used to his new sleep schedule. He was ready to head to the gym down the road he signed up to when he was greeted by the most enthralling sight he’s ever seen as he left his room.

Simon was in the sitting room, metal plate on his back as he did push-ups. He was only wearing shorts and a tank top, tattoo on full display, his clothes clinging to his massive body from all the sweat pouring out of him. The room was thick with it and it should’ve been oppressive, which it was, in a good way. He smelled divine and John noticed his mouth watering immediately. Luckily, he was able to tear his gaze away before he doing something embarrassing, like asking Simon if he could lick him clean. He left without his flatmate noticing his ogling, but the whole thing made for a rather uncomfortable and distracting workout as the memory, now burned in his head, kept resurfacing.

It plagues him even now, as he works on deep cleaning with Kyle, the bakery empty as usual for a Sunday. Gary and Simon are in the back with Nik and Price, baking the cakes so they can cool while they help up front.

“I cannae take it anymore,” he groans, dropping his head down on Kyle’s shoulder. His friend rolls his eyes as he finishes putting the coffee station back together, John having given it a good scrub earlier. “He’s drivin’ me crazy. I swear he’s doin’ it on purpose”.

“Why don’t you do something about it then?” Kyle sighs, shrugging him off as he moves to restock. John follows him.

“Ye ken why,” he pouts. “He has ta make the first move. I dinnae wanna push him”.

“I’m about to knock both your heads together if one of you doesn’t do something,” Kyle grumbles.

“I’m sorry,” John sighs, this not being the first time he’s apologized for whining about his situation. “I ken I’m bein’ annoyin’. It’s just, I really like him. I don’ think I’ve ever felt like this before”.

“I know,” Kyle sighs, smiling fondly as he shakes his head. “I’m not really upset. I just wish you two would stop tiptoeing around each other. It’s obvious you both have feelings, why keep denying yourselves?”.

“I think he’s scared,” John replies. He’s thought about this a lot and has noticed quite a bit of hesitance from Simon. “Sometimes it seems like he’s gonna finally say somethin’, but then he doesn’t. I can see he wants ta though. I think if I asked him out, he’d say yes, but I dinnae want ta do anythin’ until he’s really ready”.

“Yeah,” Kyle replies. “I get it. It just seems like a waste. You two already act like an old married couple and it hasn’t even been a week”.

“That’s all the more reason not ta do anythin’,” John insists. “It’s too soon”.

It’s true, and the biggest reason he hasn’t done anything, even knowing how much they both want it. How could he possibly be feeling this deeply for someone he barely knows? If he were merely interested in getting to know Simon more, he’d have asked him out immediately, but for some reason he feels so much more than interest. He’s already caught himself thinking of a future together. With someone he just met. Sure they spend almost all their time together and yes Simon has, according to Gary, opened up to him much quicker than he did with the others. It just seems too soon, even for his overly romantic heart. He can’t help but feel like he’s latching onto the first person to catch his eye since his break up and he has an enormous amount of guilt for that.

“Normally I’d agree,” Kyle replies, looking at him intently. “But with you two? I don’t think it is. You’ve got this chemistry that’s rare. Besides, don’t you love that shit? Love at first sight, and all? Maybe that’s what this is”.

John shrugs, looking down at his feet. That sounds so nice, and he’s always secretly wished for something so beautiful and romantic, but he’s scared about hurting Simon. About jumping in too quickly and eagerly only for it all to burn away.

“Alright, enough wallowing,” Kyle says, setting the last piece in place and wiping his hands. “Time to start decorating”.

John perks up at that. He’s been looking forward to this since Simon told him about it. He’s been feeling a bit homesick with the holidays approaching, especially after everything that’s happened, but has decided not to go home for Christmas this year. He loves his family, and misses them a lot, but they tend to pry into his personal life and he really doesn’t want to open those wounds back up so soon. His Mam was disappointed when he told her, but said she understands.

Now, he’s been trying to fill the void with Christmas here. Nik and Price love the holiday and Simon seems to as well, but he’s also mentioned that he has some painful memories centered around this time too. John hasn’t pressed him on it, he’d be a hypocrite to do so, but it makes him cautious about bringing too much holiday cheer into their flat, thus the bakery.

He sifts through the boxes of ornaments and garnishes as Kyle goes to get the others. Apparently, decorating the bakery is a tradition for them all. John finds it sweet, the way they’re all like a little family, and it warms his heart that he’s been accepted into it too.

“Looks good in here,” Gary says as he and Simon walk out of the kitchen. The blond looks around approvingly, a softness in his eyes that John’s come to recognize as quiet content.

He's realized Simon isn’t as stoic as he seemed when they first met. He doesn’t display emotions as broadly as he himself does, except for his adorable blush, but it’s in his eyes. They practically broadcast his thoughts and John is getting good at reading him. Fuck, maybe they are perfect for each other.

He shakes the thought away.

“Could use some new decorations,” Kyle says, picking up a cracked bauble that seems to have not survived through transport. “This shit is ancient”.

“Most of it’s from when Nik was a lad,” Simon replies, taking the fragile ornament and cradling it in his hands. “He’s attached to them, even if they are fallin’ apart”.

“Och, we can fix this,” John says, pulling Simon’s hand toward him to inspect the damage. “A wee bit of love and care and it’ll look good as new”.

“You have enough love and care for the rest of it?” Kyle asks, pulling out more wonky or tarnished pieces.

John hums, inspecting each one. It’s not too bad. They could just use some sprucing up and reinforcing.

“If I had a glue gun, a pair of scissors, and my paints, I could have all these lookin’ brand new,” he answers.

“I’ve got a glue gun,” Simon says. John looks at him in surprise and he shrugs. “I’m crafty”.

“Alright then,” he replies, excited as always to receive another nugget of information, and moving toward the kitchen door. “Let’s get the supplies and get ta work”.

A quick trip upstairs later, and they’re both sat beside each other, Gary and Kyle across from them, as they all work together to patch the broken adornments. That’s how Nik and Price find them 15 minutes later, no doubt curious about the silence from the front of house.

“Aren’t you all supposed to be decoratin’?” Price asks, brow raised when he finds them sat together.

“Had a wee set back,” John says, not looking up as he focuses on gluing the hat back on a snowman. “Hafta play hospital first”.

“Ah, I knew I should have been more careful storing these,” Nik sighs, lifting one of the cracked baubles. “Maybe it’s time to get new ones”.

“Nah, we can fix these,” John replies, holding the hat in place while the glue cools. “See? Already good as new”.

“It has been a long time since we’ve gotten new things though,” Nik insists, eyeing the various pieces still in need of repair. “I think it's time to replace these”.

“They have character,” John says, unsure why he’s fighting so hard for some old décor. He has no attachment to them.

“They’re well loved,” Simon says softly. John looks over at him, catching the soft, yet sad look in his eyes before it disappears.

That’s what it is. Like Simon has seemed to do, he’s put his own insecurities and worries on a bunch of inanimate objects. They may be broken, but they’re still cared for by the people most familiar with them.

“We could always add new stuff,” Gary suggests, eyes flicking between the two somber men. “A mixture of old and new. Keep the old memories and add new ones”.

“Tav can paint,” Kyle says, lighting up. “He could paint somethin’ for the shop. Maybe replace the current art”.

“It’s not that bad,” Price says, before John can respond, brow furrowing.

“Don’t start with that again,” Nik argues, shaking his head. “I still can’t believe we haven’t replaced them”.

Simon chuckles at John’s curious look. The Scot still hasn’t voiced his opinion on the, frankly tacky, art but it seems he’s not the only one who thinks it’s mediocre at best.

“Price picked them up from a hostel that was goin’ out of business years ago,” he explains. “Said it was a ‘good deal’”.

“It was,” Price says, causing the others to laugh too. “£2 for each. Can’t beat that”.

“Well, you certainly got what you paid for,” Nik grumbles.

John chuckles, mind already filling with ideas.

“I wouldnae mind makin’ somethin’ new,” he says. “I could make a few different pieces fer all the seasons. We could rotate them out every few months. I’ll make special ones fer Christmas”.

“We’ll pay you,” Nik offers, obviously happy to get rid of the old paintings. John waves him off.

“Dinnae fash,” he replies. “Consider it a thank ye. For everythin’”.

Nik tries to argue, but to no avail. John refuses to exploit his kindness.

“You know,” Kyle says, setting down his paintbrush as he finishes his last ornament. “You could always sell your art here. We could display it and let the patrons buy it”.

“Maybe,” John says hesitantly. “I havenae painted in a while. I don’ think it’s quite at that level yet”.

“Oh c’mon,” Gary admonishes, finishing gluing the head back on a gingerbread man. “I’ve seen your stuff. It’s good. Don’t sell yourself short”.

“Why don’ I start with the Christmas stuff first and see how it goes?” John concedes. “If there’s interest, I’ll consider it”.

There’s, thankfully, agreement and the topic drops as they finish their crafts. They start putting up the decorations they can, leaving some of them to continue drying.

“All that’s left is the tree, Price says when they finish with the bit they can.

It looks nice, garland trimming the counter, red and green centerpieces littered with snowmen and gingerbread men adorning each table, and lights framing the windows. There’s a wreath they hung on the front door and a small chalkboard with a countdown ‘til Christmas beside it.

“Gary and I can finish baking the cakes if Si and Tav wanna go pick it up,” Kyle offers, shooting John a pointed look, who glances at Simon, hoping he'll agree.

“Alright,” Simon replies, and John’s heart soars. This will be his first official outing with him.

They get the keys to the truck from Price and head upstairs to bundle up, the temperature dipping a bit more every day as December draws nearer.

“Make sure to grab some gloves,” Simon tells him, wrapping a scarf he’d made around his neck and handing John his maroon beanie. “And you’ll want to wear boots you don’t mind gettin’ dirty”.

“Ye takin’ me on hike or somethin’?” John jokes.

“Sort of,” Simon replies. “It’s a farm where you cut your own tree”.

Excitement floods John’s body. He hasn’t been to one of those since leaving home. When he was with William, they just had one of those plastic trees, as his ex never saw the appeal of acquiring and caring for a live one. He can’t help but wonder if he’s even bothered digging it out of storage yet.

“Havenae had a real tree in years,” he tells Simon as they walk out to the truck. He finds himself walking quicker than usual in his anticipation and thinks Simon smiles when he notices.

“We get one every year,” Simon says, getting into the driver’s seat. “It’s been a tradition for Nik and Price since before I met them”.

“My family does the same,” John says wistfully. “I’ve missed it”.

“You haven’t done it since movin’ out?” Simon asks. His voice is even, but John can hear the slight edge to it, like he’s hesitant to ask. John sighs, deciding to open up a bit. It’s only fair, given how much he’s shared with him.

“My ex didnae care fer it,” he says stiffly. He’s still so ashamed of how much he put up with. It’s why he hasn’t told Simon a lot about it. He’s worried he’ll see him differently and it’ll ruin any chance of them maybe starting something. “Thought it was a waste of time. Didnae see the point of ‘sloggin’ through mud just fer a tree’ as he put it”.

Simon’s silent, but John can see how he’s gripping the steering wheel tighter, knuckles white. He’s noticed these kinds of small reactions when he’s mentioned the way his ex treated him and it does warm something in him to see him care so much.

The silence stretches, something John’s come to realize means Simon’s trapped in his head, until they get to the farm. It’s a bit bigger than John expected, evergreens of various shapes and sizes stretching in long rows. They’re given a saw from a sweet older woman who advises them of where to start based on Simon’s apparent preference for a particular tree. They walk side by side as the man peruses, eyes keen as he looks over each one. John has already seen a couple he’d have been fine with, but it seems Simon is looking for something specific, so he leaves him to it, content with watching him instead.

He's fascinating to watch. The cute way his eyes narrow as he inspects the branches, the small frown and head shake when he finds something he doesn’t like, as if he’s having some kind of internal conversation. John keeps quiet the whole time, smiling when he catches mumbled words here and there.

The best part is when Simon finally finds The One. He does a couple laps around it, as if making sure it really is satisfactory before he smiles, head nodding once, and turns to John.

“What do you think?” he asks, and John smiles too. After all that scrutiny, he still wants to know his opinion?

“It’s perfect,” he says, also examining it. He thinks he can see why Simon chose it.

It’s decently tall, a few inches taller than Simon. The needles are full, leaving few holes in the overall look, nothing that can’t be filled in with decorations. It’s also quite symmetrical. Honestly, it looks like the kind of tree that would be on a Christmas card.

“Good,” Simon replies, getting on the ground. “Hold it up, yeah? I’m gonna cut it”.

John grabs the tree, memories of doing the same for his Da years ago flooding back. It’s nice, familiar, and isn’t as bittersweet as he thought it’d be. He’s reminded of Gary’s comment about old and new memories and feels this just might be the start of that.

*****

When it had been suggested that he go with Johnny to get the tree, Simon had worried he’d bore the Scot with how long he knew it’d take. It’s why he usually goes alone or with Nik or Price, the two men used to his quirks. He’s particular, always has been, but Johnny took it in stride. From what he could see out of the corner of his eye, he didn’t seem impatient or bored. The silence between them felt respectful, like he was giving Simon the time and space to do his thing. He’d even caught a few smiles when he glanced over properly.

It felt domestic, doing something together, away from the flat or bakery. It’s been better than he thought it’d be, having someone living with him. Johnny’s a good flatmate, always helping with meals and cleaning without needing to be reminded. Almost like he enjoys doing so.

Simon enjoys it at least, and that had surprised him. He figured he’d like the one on one time, given his ever growing feelings for the man, but it’s more than that. He likes the company. If he thought he was lonely before, this whole situation has opened his eyes to just how bad it was. He can’t imagine going back to that solitude and it always serves to dampen his spirits when he has to remind himself that this is all temporary.

It doesn’t stop him from indulging in every moment though. If he only gets this for a short amount of time, he’s going to enjoy every second of it.

Once the tree is cut, Johnny moves to grab the trunk, but Simon stops him as he gets up.

“Let me,” he says, nerves alighting with his impending offer. “I’ll drag it while you pick out another”.

Johnny cocks his head, eyes scrunching adorably in confusion.

“Dinnae think two trees are gonna fit in the shop,” he replies. “’Specially if they’re both this big”.

“Probably not,” Simon agrees, using the opportunity to pick up the trunk as an excuse to look away. “But we need one for the flat”.

He’s noticed how Johnny has been wary of bringing too much Christmas in, turning the channel from movies when he enters the sitting room or catching himself humming carols, most likely due to a couple off hand comments he’s made about this time of year being hard. He really hadn’t meant anything by it. Definitely didn’t mean to make him feel like he couldn’t indulge in a bit of holiday cheer, so this seems a good a way as any to let him know it’s alright. Besides, difficult feelings or not, Simon loves a good Christmas tree.

“Aye?” Johnny asks breathlessly, and Simon turns to give him a smile.

“Aye,” he says. “Make it a good one”.

He follows Johnny as he looks at the many trees, often glancing over to the one Simon has as if comparing them. It takes a bit, nearly as long as the first one did, but eventually he finds one he likes.

“Wha’d’ya think?” he asks.

Simon gives it a proper look. He notices some patches where the needles are a bit thinner, not very noticeable, but still there. It’s a bit fuller on one side than the other, giving it a slightly lopsided look. Overall, he probably would’ve kept looking if it were up to him.

It’s perfect.

It’s so incredibly Johnny somehow, and Simon knows he’s going to spend hours over the next weeks staring at it.

“Good choice,” he replies, handing Johnny the saw. In a reversal from before, he holds the tree steady as Johnny cuts.

When the Scot gets up, he’s grinning from ear to ear, eyes sparkling in a way the has Simon’s breath catching.

He’s beautiful.

It hits him hard just how stunning he is. Johnny may smile often, and definitely wears his heart on his sleeve, but in this moment, Simon can see the unadulterated joy radiating off him. He wants nothing more than to see it every moment of every day.

Simon blinks, trying to get his body back online before following him. His head buzzes as they walk, Johnny telling him about Christmas in Scotland and the different traditions his family has. The buzzing continues as they get the trees processed and wrapped, Simon paying for both, and even as they load them into the truck. He’s luckily able to get himself mostly calmed down by the time they buckle in.

“Thank ye, Simon,” Johnny says, nose red from the cold in a way that makes Simon’s stomach churn pleasantly.

“No problem,” he replies thickly, putting the truck in gear and pulling out of the car park. As he drives, he tries to ignore the butterflies, instead just focusing on Johnny’s voice.

He's fucked.

Chapter Text

Falling in love is scarier than he thought it’d be.

The idea makes him scoff at himself. Love. How can he be falling in love? It’s far too soon and Simon’s never believed in love at first sight. How can that happen when you don’t know the person? When you don’t know if you’ll get along or if you’re compatible? Just looking at someone can’t possibly tell you that you love them.

But that seems to be where he’s at.

He feels like he loves Johnny. Feels like he knows him. Like they’ve known each other for years rather than a little over a week. He doesn’t, as he’s come to realize, have a lot to base his feelings off of. He knows he loves Price and Nik, they’re his family. He trusts them and knows he can count on them for anything. He feels something similar to Gary and Kyle too, but those feelings are a bit more cautious. He thinks he loved his old family at some point too, early on at least.

Johnny is- different. Similar, but not. More, but in a brand new way. It’s confusing and, honestly, a little scary. It could be a crush, not that he has much experience with that either, but even the word doesn’t seem to encapsulate everything he feels, so he settles on love.

The others seem to notice the shift too.

When they got back from picking up the trees, Price gave him a soft, knowing look when he saw the second one. Simon didn’t comment much on it. Just shrugged and said he’d figured it was best to pick it up when he was already out. His nonchalance didn’t mean much when they walked into the bakery to catch Johnny excitedly telling Gary and Kyle that he got to pick it out himself.

Then there were the looks he noticed during the decorating. It felt like he was under a microscope, constantly catching one of them watching whenever he made Johnny laugh. He’s found the Scot enjoys his jokes, no matter how bad they are and, as he got more into the Christmas spirit, he gave him a few in that vein.

The others have definitely noticed.

He’s not stupid. He knows they know he has feelings of some sort toward Johnny, but now it feels like those feelings are on full display.

It’s not a problem per say, but he knows they’ll get their hopes up. It’s not that he thinks he doesn’t have a chance. He already knows Johnny is into him too, but he’s worried about fucking it up. He’s never been in a relationship and, given how raw Johnny still seems to be from his last one, he doesn’t want to hurt him again.

There have been a few nights where he finds Johnny sitting on the sofa, gaze glassy and distant before he notices Simon. He always snaps out of it and gives him a smile that takes a second to reach his eyes. Simon then joins him and lets him lay his head on his shoulder. He cried the first night, but the others they just sit, sometimes talking, sometimes not, until Johnny quietly says he’s going to bed and stumbles down the hall. A few hours later, they eat breakfast like nothing happened.

He wonders if Johnny gets lonely at night. He’s found out his last relationship, which was his first serious one, lasted 5 years. He can imagine it's hard to get used to sleeping alone after so long.

He wishes he could do something about it. Wishes he could crawl into bed with him, tangle their legs together, and hold him. He wants to wake up to him too. Wants to watch his chest rise and fall as he peacefully sleeps. Wants to kiss him.

God he wants to kiss him so bad. It plagues his every waking and sleeping thought. He finds himself distracted constantly by his soft, pink lips.

Which, of course, leads to disaster.

He and Johnny are together in the kitchen, their daily routine becoming seamless with each passing day. Johnny has graduated from being the designated dishwasher to being a proper baker. He’s not half bad either. He may not have the practiced skill like Simon does after years of perfecting the craft, but he follows the recipes. So far, he’s been mainly doing the cookies, donuts, and muffins while Simon makes bread, which helps a lot. He is, however, a terrible distraction.

Simon can’t stop sneaking glances, mesmerized by the muscles in his hands and arms. Those have also been a fixation of his, not only in the kitchen, but up in their flat too.

Johnny has taken up art again, due to his agreement to paint some new pieces for the shop, and he’s seemed to reconnect with his passion for it. It’s a privilege to witness. Simon watches him when allowed, the Scot often working in the sitting room on an easel he pulls out from his room. He's watched him paint a beautiful scene of a frosted window of a house with a lit tree inside as well as one of Santa and his reindeer flying across the night sky. Customers have already noticed the new art and, to Johnny’s seemingly disbelief, a few have inquired about commissioning their own Christmas paintings, which he’s been slowly fulfilling.

Sometimes, though, he sketches in his journal or sketchbook. These Simon doesn’t get to see, but no matter how tempting it is, he doesn’t sneak any peeks, even the couple times Johnny has left one or the other out.

Point is, he can’t stop staring at Johnny, and it’s finally caught up to him.

He’s getting ready to pull some cookies out of the oven, gingerbread now that they’re officially in the Christmas season, and is telling more jokes. This one isn’t his best (I don’t get why bakers aren’t wealthier. We make so much dough), but that doesn’t stop Johnny from letting out his usual, lovely laugh. Simon smiles warmly, watching how his eyes crinkle and his cheeks tinge pink, when a sudden pain burns across his palm.

“Fuck,” he yelps, instantly dropping the hot tray he’d just grabbed with his bare hand, sending it and the cookies clattering to the floor. Johnny looks up in shock, striding across the kitchen in an instant.

“Shit,” he curses, grabbing Simon’s wrist and inspecting the damage. “Ach, ye got yerself pretty good, Si”.

“I can feel that,” he grits, dragging Johnny with him as he moves toward the refrigerator. He reaches in with his good hand, pulling out a small container.

“Open this will you?” he asks, cradling his hand as Johnny obeys. Once the lid is off, he reaches in, caking his injury in the cold flour.

“Aye, my Mam used ta do this,” Johnny says, watching him cover every bit of red flesh. “Burned myself a good few times. Got into a lot of mischief. Liked fire and firecrackers too much. Was lucky I didnae lose any fingers”.

“Somehow I’m not surprised,” Simon replies, sighing as the cool flour soothes the burn.

All there’s left to do is wait for it to cool down and he intends to tell Johnny to just get back to work while he does so, when he grabs his wrist again. Simon instantly flushes, feeling less heat from the burn and more from Johnny’s hand on the back of his.

He stands rigidly, hoping the other man will assume it’s from the pain and not because he’s panicking from the casual intimacy; so much tamer than the nights he has Johnny’s head on his shoulder but, for some reason, so much more intense. It’s barely even intimate. They aren’t even properly holding hands, yet Simon feels his heart hammering in his chest, the sound of it filling his ears as he wills himself to calm down.

“Still hurt?” Johnny asks, eyeing him closely as Simon swallows.

“Not so bad anymore,” he replies, throat constricted from the whole situation. He pulls his hand away before he can completely lose his mind, already missing the warmth of Johnny’s as he inspects the damage. “Barely even a burn. I’ve had worse”.

“Shame,” Johnny says, lip poked out in a small pout. Simon rips his gaze away from it, trying not to think of how it’d feel on his.

“You want me injured?” he asks, amusement in his tone. Johnny chuckles.

“’Course no’,” he replies, looking suddenly shy. “Was just gonna offer ta kiss it better. Ye ken, ta make it heal faster”.

Simon’s stomach jumps, throat instantly drying out at the thought.

“Might help,” he hears himself say, catching himself by surprise. Johnny’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he grins slyly.

“Aye?” he asks, leaning forward. “It’s worth a shot, right? Wouldn’t want ye ta miss work. I still need my teacher”.

“Wouldn’t want that,” Simon agrees, breath hitching as Johnny carefully brushes the flour away.

It really isn’t too bad. It’ll probably twinge for a day or two, but shouldn’t get in the way of his work. He swallows again when Johnny peeks up through his lashes again before pressing a gentle kiss to his palm.

Simon lets out a shaky breath, louder than he intended, at the contact, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering dangerously.

“Sorry, love, sorry,” Johnny says, mistaking the sound for one of pain. Simon’s brain short-circuits, the word bouncing around his skull. Johnny cocks his head at the bewildered look he’s surely giving him.

“Ye alright?” he asks. Simon swallows, heart feeling like it’s pounding it’s way up his throat.

“You- you called me-,” he stammers, unable to say the word. It was obviously a slip, just a reassurance. He didn’t mean anything by it, not that that matters to Simon’s heart.

“What?” Johnny asks, confused. “I didnae call ye anythin’”.

He could let it go. He could brush it off and pretend it was nothing, but for some reason he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to keep tiptoeing around their feelings. He’s going mad trying to keep himself from them.

“You called me love,” he states. Johnny’s breath hitches, eyes widening. There’s a beat of silence, neither of them sure how to break it.

“Sorry,” Johnny breathes, throat bobbing as he swallows. “I didnae mean it”.

“You didn’t?” Simon asks. An out. A last chance for him to draw the line and end this now.

Johnny stares right into his eyes and for once, Simon isn’t uncomfortable staring right back. The tension is thick, almost suffocatingly so. Johnny licks his lips nervously and, as always, Simon’s gaze darts to the movement.

“Simon-,” Johnny says, voice thick with something. Something that has his stomach clenching with nerves.

Simon’s lips part. What he wants to say, he’s not sure, but he doesn’t get a chance to figure it out as a burning smell fills his nostrils.

“Shit,” he hisses, pulling away from where he and Johnny had leaned in, mere centimeters from each other, and looking over at the ovens.

The other trays of cookies he’d forgotten after burning his hand are still in there.

“I gottem,” Johnny says, hurrying over and pulling them out, with oven mitts. He chuckles sheepishly after placing them on the counter, breaking the tension. “Think we’re gonna need ta make another batch”.

Simon chuckles darkly, heart still hammering as he shakes his head at his misfortune.

*****

“Ach, c’mon,” John groans, releasing his grip on the piping bag in his hand and shaking it out. He was so close to getting all the way around the cake before he squeezed too hard.

Decorating cakes was harder than he thought it’d be. He knows what he wants the icing to do, it’s just getting it to happen that’s tricky.

Ever since last Sunday he’s been practicing. It was mesmerizing to watch the others work, laughing and talking as they created literal masterpieces with ease. He didn’t realize how talented Gary and Kyle are. Simon is even more so, having done this longer, and Nik and Price? Masters of the craft.

John had hoped, with his art background, it’d be a breeze. Granted, he has an eye for it, and he even managed to shakily replicate Simon’s demonstration on his own wee practice cake, but it didn’t have that same finesse and ease as the others.

So he’s been practicing.

Every day, when he and Simon pop down to the kitchen to see if the others need a hand, John will pull out another mini cake from the freezer and whip up some icing to refine his skills.

Today he’s sitting at the front counter, next to Kate who Nik lets in on Sundays every so often to socialize. She was happy to see a new face at the bakery when they were introduced, and the two of them have gotten along swimmingly. She too was a military brat and they’ve bonded over stories from their childhoods. Each morning, John lingers at opening to say good morning and shoot the breeze with her.

“It’s looking better,” she says, sipping her coffee as she watches. He hums disbelievingly, scrapping off the glob he accidently made and starting again.

“Ye’d think a wee bit of icing wouldn’t be so hard ta control,” he grunts, cursing when he squeezes too hard again. He sets the bag down, glaring at it. Kate chuckles.

“Nothing like your paints, hm?” she asks, draining her mug. John shakes his head, getting up to refill it despite her protests. He needs a break anyway.

“I can paint the smallest line and do the softest strokes,” he says, adding a splash of peppermint along with her usual cream and sugar. “But I cannae, fer the life of me, get that bloody thing ta work right”.

Kate thanks him as he hands over her drink, humming contently at the first sip.

“Maybe you’re trying too hard,” she suggests, pulling his attention away from trying to set the cake on fire with his mind. “You’ve been working at it nonstop for days. Take a step back and come at it from a different angle”.

“What other angle?” he groans, dropping his head on the counter. She laughs again, patting his arm.

“You’re too tense when you’re piping,” she says. “You’ve gotta loosen up. Maybe get some of that energy out”.

“How?” he pouts, willing to try anything to get this to work.

“Where’s Simon?” she asks with a smirk.

Except that.

“Och, now ye have jokes,” he scoffs, face burning.

Ever since their near kiss in the kitchen yesterday morning, John has been going crazy. They both have. Both of them are completely aware of what that moment was, but neither of them have had the guts to continue where they left off. John is trying so hard to stick with the boundary he placed on himself and let Simon make the first move, but it’s so hard. He feels like he’s going to burst, keeping this all in. He likes him. He really, really likes him.

It really hit him the night they decorated the tree in their flat, the same day they went to the farm. John had initially waited to see how Simon wanted it, sure he had a vision in mind, but his flatmate just told him to do what feels right. He had a large box full of ornaments from over the years, and they had a great time putting them up, listening to Christmas music on an old radio Simon has and even drinking some cocoa the Brit had made. John, however, found himself far too distracted to really focus on what he was doing. The way the soft glow of the lights on the tree illuminated Simon’s face made him look so beautiful, it hurt.

By the end, the tree looked a mess, John having mindlessly hung ornaments too close together or too close to another of the same color. Simon seemed to love it though, refusing to let him fix a thing. Every night since, John will catch him staring at it, smile on his lips and eyes full of something he’s afraid to name.

He's afraid to name it, because he thinks he feels it too.

How can he though? It’s far too soon. They haven’t even had a date yet. Hell, he doesn’t even know Simon’s last name. What’s his favorite color? Favorite animal? What does he want for his life? How will he feel when he finds out John doesn’t know his own answer to that? There’s so many steps he’s hopped right over that he’s sure he’s just desperate for love from anyone and doesn’t want to do that to Simon.

“You two are too obvious to pull that, John,” Kate chastises, looking unimpressed. John sighs, peeking over his shoulder to make sure no one else is nearby.

“It’s complicated,” he says lowly, frowning. Kate rolls her eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be,” she insists. “You like him, he likes you, what’s the problem?”.

“It’s no’ a problem,” he says, unsure how to explain it. “It’s just, well, ye know him. He isnae exactly familiar with this kinda thing. I don’ wanna scare him off. Besides, what if I want too much? I’m scarin’ myself with how I feel. It’s too much, too soon. What if I’m just usin’ him ta move on?”.

He can’t stop his worries from coming out and he’s immensely grateful that there’s so much to do in the kitchen so the others can’t hear his reedy voice. Kate sighs, grabbing his hand comfortingly.

“Have I ever told you about my wife and I?” she asks. John shakes his head. “We met after college. I’d had a few relationships before that went to shit. I was jaded, had even swore off love altogether. She was a graduate that was looking for her first real journalism job and applied where I was working at the time. She took to me immediately, but I brushed her off at first. Never stopped her from trying though. It took about a month to wear me down and accept a date. We moved in together 3 months later and eventually started our own paper. Got married a couple years in. We’re going on 27 years together”.

John gapes at that. 27 years? He’d always hoped for that kind of love. A lifetime together, happy and whole. As crazy as it seems, he could imagine that with Simon.

“What if I just think I want him?” he asks. “What if I’m just so broken and lonely I’m just latchin’ onto the first person that shows me the time of day?”.

“I’m assuming you’ve been thinking that for a while,” she says, smiling when he nods. “If the thought hasn’t made your feelings any less, then I don’t think that’s what it is. Sometimes we find our person when we aren’t looking for them. You have to ask yourself, are you willing to lose the opportunity because your afraid? It’s not like you’re getting married. Take him on a date and figure it out”.

“I just dinnae wanna overwhelm him,” John sighs. Kate cocks her head.

“Ever think he may feel the same?” she asks. “You’re the one who recently had his heart broken. Ever think he’s worried he’d be taking advantage of your pain? One of you needs to make the decision. Right now, your presence in his life is temporary. Simon gets attached easily, even if he doesn’t show it. I’d bet anything he’s afraid to grow too close only for you to slip away”.

John’s heart throbs. He hadn’t thought of it that way. If their situations were reversed, and Simon were in his shoes, he’d feel exactly that. He’d be afraid of pressuring him when he’s still feeling raw. Simon doesn’t know he’s over his ex. He doesn’t know the sleepless nights aren’t because he’s ruminating over the past, but longing for a future. A future with the giant, caring, sweet, stoic Brit sleeping across the hall. Longing to knock on that bedroom door and slip into the bed inside. Wishing he could wake up with their legs tangled and arms circled around each other. Cursing himself for not closing the gap in the kitchen and kissing him like he so desperately wanted to.

John swallows, emotions making his chest ache and brain buzz with new understanding.

“Just something to think about,” Kate lilts, grinning at him as she stands. “I’ll see you tomorrow, John”.

“See ye,” he replies, straightening up and grabbing his forgotten cake and icing.

“Kate?” he calls as she heads toward the door. She stops and looks back expectantly.

“Thank ye”.

Chapter Text

Things are tense.

Ever since yesterday morning, Simon hasn’t been able to get the near kiss out of his mind. He was so goddamn close. A small surge forward and he would’ve finally known what Johnny tastes like.

He just had to be a fucking coward though.

That’s what happened. He didn’t pull away because of burning cookies. Sure they needed addressing, but looking back, he knows he was afraid to take that final leap. It would’ve been real then. He would’ve had to face his feelings head on and follow through. Avoiding is safe. He can’t be hurt if nothing happens.

At the end of the day he’s afraid to lose Johnny, like he’s afraid to lose everyone else. Gary, Kyle, Kate, Lady, even Nik and Price. He’s so afraid of being alone. Of reliving the pain of being abandoned yet again, even after all these years.

Johnny makes him want to risk it though. For the first time, he feels more afraid of letting the chance to experience love slip through his fingers than of being hurt. Johnny won’t be here forever, and the thought of letting the opportunity to love go makes his heart ache. The Scot isn’t opposed to it, he can tell. He can tell he’s been on the verge of saying something multiple times.

They went about their day as normal once they ended their shift yesterday, but the question has hung in the air between them since, like an oppressive weight-

What are they doing?

There’s no denying the feelings, the flirting, the looks. Before, Simon could tell himself that he couldn’t make a move because Johnny was still healing, but now he knows that’s not true. So who’s going to do something about it?

That seems to be on, not only their minds, but Price’s too. Simon is finishing packing up catering orders, glad Johnny is up front with Kate so he can work without further distraction, when Price calls him into the office.

“Close the door,” he says, much to Simon’s surprise. Gary and Kyle shoot him curious looks when he complies, even having to move a box of papers out of the way since the door is never closed. He suddenly feels like he did back when he was a child being called into the principal’s office.

“There a problem?” he asks, taking in Price’s tense posture, arms folded across his chest.

“You tell me,” Price replies, looking at him stern yet warm. Concerned. Simon blinks in confusion.

“Not as far as I’m aware,” he answers truthfully. Is this about the cookies he burned? Sure it was a waste, but things like that have happened plenty of times before without too much fuss.

“What’s goin’ on with you and John?” Price asks. Ah. He should’ve known he’d pick up on the awkwardness.

“Nothin’,” Simon lies, knowing he won’t believe him. Price has always been able to see through him. It helped a lot when he first found them, keeping him in line while he worked through his troubled teen years.

“Simon,” Price admonishes, sighing heavily. “I can tell somethin’ happened. Did he overstep? We told you if it was too much, we’d figure somethin’ else out”.

“It’s not,” Simon snaps, oddly offended someone would think low of Johnny. Price raises a brow.

“Well I can tell somethin’ happened,” he says, looking at Simon pointedly. “What is it? You two have been gettin’ along so well, and now can barely look at each other”.

Simon sighs, leaning heavily against the desk and averting his gaze.

He wants to tell him. He wants to get his advice, as one of the men who has become his father figure. He wants to let out his worries and hear that it’ll all be okay. That things will work out and he’ll finally get everything he’s ever wanted.

“Simon?” Price says softly, and he finds him looking at him worriedly. He should tell him. Price has done so much for him. Cared so much for him. He won’t let his concern cloud his judgement. He’ll tell Simon the truth about what he should do, and he’s too tired to fight these feelings anymore.

“I think I’m in love with him,” he whispers to the floor, the air around them ringing with the confession. He hears the hitch of breath, but doesn’t look up. Can’t look up.

“Have you told him?” Price asks, and Simon shakes his head. There’s a pause that feels like it stretches for an eternity before Price sighs, moving next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Simon sinks into the touch, laying his head on his shoulder. It’s not often he indulges in physical intimacy. Something about it often feels overwhelming, like it’s too much and not enough at the same time, but he finds that he needs it. He just needs to be grounded after days of confusing emotions.

“Any reason you haven’t?” Price asks, sounding a lot less hostile than before. Simon shrugs.

“Same old shit I s’pose,” he replies. “Too scared to let him in. He’s only here ‘til he gets back on his feet. It’s not worth gettin’ too involved just for him to leave”.

Price hums, thumb stroking Simon’s shoulder. It’s nice.

“What if he feels the same?” he asks. Simon shrugs again.

“That’s almost worse,” he confides, the truth suddenly bubbling out now that he’s started opening up, like it was just waiting for the pressure to be released. “I don’t know what I’m doin’. I’m gonna disappoint him, and so soon after his break up. I won’t say or do the right thing and will probably end up hurtin’ him more”.

“Maybe,” Price says and Simon turns sharply to gape at him. He merely smiles, squeezing him in a side hug. “You probably will fuck up. We all do. God knows how often I did with Nik in the beginnin’. The army didn’t exactly prepare me to be a good partner, but we worked through it. That’s what you do when you love someone, Simon. You do your best, and if you fall short, you try again. You have a good heart, son. Even if you do hurt him, I know you’ll do everythin’ you can to make it right”.

Simon swallows thickly, eyes starting to swim. He wants to curl up in a ball and sleep, he’s just so tired. Tired of being alone. Tired of pushing people away. Tired of being haunted by the past after so long.

“How can I be good for him when I can’t even do that for myself?” he asks, voice cracking with the weight of it all. “10 years and I haven’t worked past my own issues. How can I be there for him when I don’t know how to help anyone?”.

Price hums thoughtfully, still hugging him close. Simon gives in, burying his face in his chest. Price just holds him tighter, letting him take comfort in it.

“You need to decide what you want more,” he finally says. “Continuin’ to run from your past and lose your chance at happiness, or face it and find you’re worthy of that love”.

Before Johnny, Simon would’ve been able to bite back the emotions those words make him feel. He would’ve scoffed and maybe rolled his eyes before telling Price he has all the happiness he needs, but now he knows that was a lie. He wasn’t content with the way things were, he was just used to ignoring his issues. He’s always been lonely. Always wanted more than the fleeting care he allowed the others to show him when he didn’t isolate himself upstairs. Johnny has made him see that’s no way to live, and now, with his eyes finally opened to his reality, he cries.

He cries into Price’s shoulder, soaking his shirt in his tears as he finally lets the pain out. It’s been a long time since he’s done this. Years since he’s purged the anguish built up in his heart. He can’t stop either. It’s like a dam has burst and he can’t do more than cling to Price as he sobs and trembles as it all comes out.

Price just keeps holding him, rubbing his back and moving in front of him to hug him properly. He whispers soothingly in his ear, telling him to let it out and that everything’s going to be okay. It’s everything Simon wanted, everything he’s kept himself from having, and it makes him cry harder.

Why has he denied himself this? All those walls he built up, all that time wasted, just to feel and react the way he was trying to avoid. It’s not so scary now, breaking down like this. He’d worried so much about showing how broken he is, afraid to be too much for his family, but here Price is, comforting him without a second thought. He feels like a child again, but it’s not accompanied by memories of booze and fists. It’s like a part of him is healing, making new memories, in the arms of his real parent.

Price holds him until he calms, racking sobs subsiding into small sniffles. He doesn’t pull back until Simon does and even then, he clasps his arms as he smiles at him.

“There he is,” he says, and Simon can’t help but give a weak smile back. “Feel better?”.

Simon nods. He really does. Amazing what a little breakdown can do. He feels light for once, like he isn’t carrying a boulder of trauma on his back anymore. What he wouldn’t give for the feeling to last.

“Good,” Price replies, squeezing his arms before letting go. Simon misses the warmth, but then he’s sat next to him on the desk again and Simon lays his head on his shoulder, too exhausted to catch himself.

“You know you can feel this relief more often if you talk to someone,” Price says, tone careful. Simon tenses for a moment but stops himself from closing off. If he wants to be with Johnny, he needs to face reality.

“Yeah,” he replies, voice strained from all the crying. “Think you were right. I need to stop runnin’”.

“Good to hear,” Price says. “It’s not gonna be easy, but we’re here to help. All of us. You know that, right?”.

“I know,” he says.

“And you know we always will be, right?” Price pushes. “Not just me and Nik, but the others too. Gary, Kyle, John, Kate. They all care for you”.

“I’m startin’ to see that,” Simon replies. It’s true. He’s noticed the way they’ve been quietly supporting him. It’s obvious they know about his feelings, and they probably know about Johnny’s too. In fact –

“I’m assumin’ you all care enough to try to help me find happiness?” he says, smiling at Price, who hums noncommittally. The reddening of his ears gives him away though.

“Were you ever in need of support we’d help out,” he answers, evading the question. Simon chuckles, reaching for the box of tissues behind them and cleaning his face.

“You should take the rest of the day off,” Price offers as he watches him. “Go relax. We can take care of the rest”.

“That’s alright,” Simon says. He doesn’t want to the alone for once. “I’d rather be here”.

“Then at least have someone else do the deliveries,” Price insists.

“Actually,” he replies, face heating up. “I was wondering if could take someone with me”.

“Someone?” Price asks, brow lifting again and mustache twitching. Simon looks away, hiding his own shy smile.

“Johnny,” he answers.

Price nudges him with his shoulder, waiting for Simon to look back. When he does, he sees the softness he realizes he’s always regarded him with.

“Probably best,” he says. “It’s a lot for one person. Will probably take a while. Might need to grab some dinner while you’re out too”.

Simon laughs at that, a loud and genuine bark that surprises him.

“Thank you,” he says, nudging Price back. “Both of you. I wouldn’t be here without you two. I know I don’t always say it, but I love you both. Thanks for being such- such good dads”.

Price blinks hard, throat bobbing and eyes shining at the word. Simon’s never said it, associating it with so much negativity, but in this moment it feels right. Price and Nik are his dads and he couldn’t appreciate them more.

“Go on,” Price says thickly, pushing off the desk and clearing his throat. “Those orders aren’t gonna deliver themselves”.

“Not gonna cry in front of me?” Simon teases, truthfully relieved. He’s pretty sure he’ll break down again if he does.

“Hey now,” Price shoots back with a slightly nervous grin. “Respect your father”.

“Alright, alright ” Simon chuckles, warming at the word again. “Do me a favor though? Ask Johnny to get ready to go? I just need a moment upstairs”.

“Take your time,” Price says, squeezing his shoulder one last time. “Oh and uh- don’t worry about tomorrow morning. Nik and I will do the first shift”.

Simon splutters, face absolutely flaming at the insinuation.

“Don’t think that’s necessary,” he mumbles. Price shrugs slyly.

“Never know,” he replies. “Just don’t fight it”.

Simon rolls his eyes fondly, doing his best to ignore the sudden images trying to flood his mind as he leaves the office, Price's snickers following him out.

He notices the way Kyle and Gary look away quickly when he comes out. Shit. There’s no doubt they at least heard his heaving sobs and he almost feels ashamed. The small, hesitant smile Gary gives him when he looks over again though squashes the feeling.

They care for him, he needs to remember that. He smiles back and nods. Gary nudges Kyle, who also looks over. Simon gives him a smile too before heading to the stairs.

*****

John glances over at Simon again, eyeing the relaxed state of his shoulders. The tension that’s been stifling the both of them has gone down dramatically and he can’t figure out what’s changed.

He was honestly surprised when Price came out of the back to tell him to help pack the truck with the orders he and Simon would be delivering. He’d tried to tell him that he could stay back, intending to give Simon some space, but Price told him it was Simon who requested they be paired up. That was honestly surprising, as he’d thought the Brit would appreciate the distance.

Simon wasn’t in the kitchen when he went back and Gary and Kyle were acting strange. The vibe was off, but no one gave any indication that anything had happened while he'd been talking to Kate.

“What’s goin’ on?” he finally asked Gary as they loaded the last box, knowing he’d be more likely than Kyle to fill him in. The look he received didn’t placate him as Gary nervously licked his lips.

“What’d’ya mean?” he asked, raising John’s suspicions.

“Yer all actin’ dodgey,” he accused. Gary scoffed, but it didn’t sound even a little convincing.

“We’re just busy,” he claimed. “Got a lotta shit to do”.

John narrowed his eyes and Gary glanced away, eyes widening slightly as he looked past him.

John turned in time to see Nik giving Simon a warm hug, something John hadn’t seen before. Despite knowing he cares an awful lot for them, he hasn’t seen Simon be affectionate with them. It warmed his heart, but also heightened his concern that something is wrong.

“Just busy?” he murmured and Gary chuckled nervously.

“Look, it’s really nothin’,” he said. “Just- just don’t be weird about it, yeah? And while you’re out- be good to Simon”.

“Alright, now I ken somethin’s goin’ on,” he growled, offended he even had to ask that of him.

Why wouldn’t he be good to Simon? Did he say something about their near kiss? Was it not as mutual as he thought? Does he blame John for the awkwardness? He didn’t get a chance to figure it out as Simon headed toward the truck and Gary clammed up.

Now he’s sitting here, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Kyle and Gary seemed so nervous back there, but Simon is a vision of peace. The line between his brows is smoothed out, his lips are turned up in a slight smile, and he just seems overall happy. He has the radio on and is humming along with it, like he does during their shift and has even turned to look at John softly, albeit a bit nervous, several times.

“Ye’re in a good mood,” John says hesitantly, worried to say really anything with Gary’s request rattling in his brain.

“I’ve come to some realizations,” Simon replies. John waits for him to elaborate, but he just goes back to humming, even tapping the steering wheel with the beat.

“And those are?” John presses, concern starting to morph into confusion. Simon just smiles.

“Later,” he replies. “Got cookies to deliver.

They stop in front of an office building and get out. Simon checks the delivery list and they carry three boxes each in. The lass at the front desk thanks them and Simon smiles at her, wishing her a Merry Christmas. That happens at each stop. They deliver their goods, Simon smiles and says Merry Christmas, then they move on. John tries to gain more insight on the short drives between, but Simon doesn’t reveal anything.

It's driving him crazy.

It’s after the last stop that things get even stranger. He’s expecting Simon to drive back to the bakery, when he makes a left instead of a right.

“We’re done aren’t we?” he asks, looking in the back to see if he missed another box. Simon chuckles.

“We’re done,” he confirms. “Thought we’d go get somethin’ to eat while we’re out. Bit late to start makin’ dinner”.

Oh,” John replies, surprised at the offer.

They haven’t done this yet. Haven’t really gone anywhere together since the tree farm. He’d be more excited if he wasn’t so hung up on Simon’s odd behavior. If things hadn’t been so awkward between them the last 30 or so hours, he’d have been gathering the courage to make this little outing into a date. As it stands, he’s just hoping not to fuck things up further.

Simon stops the truck in front of a little sandwich shop. John’s actually been here once before while out with Kyle and Gary. It’s a cute little place nestled between a bookshop and a boutique. Very picturesque in the downtown area.

He raises a brow when Simon holds the door open for him, but the other man merely smiles some more. As they walk in, his stomach growls from the scent of breads and meats. He didn’t realize how hungry he was, but they have been out delivering for a while. At the counter, he orders and is about to pull out his wallet when Simon tells them his own order and pays. John can’t help the way his cheeks warm and he weakly protests, telling him he can pay for his own.

“Consider it a thank you,” Simon replies, waving him off. “For coming out with me”.

John huffs to hide the way his heart jumps at the thought, and he shoves it away. He didn’t mean it like that. He’s just appreciative to have another person carrying boxes of cookies around town.

His mind whirs as they wait for their food though. Now that he thinks about it, Simon could’ve chosen anyone to come with him. Why choose John when they were still not acknowledging the awkwardness between them? What changed since this morning when they could barely make eye contact at breakfast? John had spent his time getting ready panic whispering to Lady about what to do. She just looked at him, eyes squinted in what almost felt like judgement.

So what now? Are they good? Does Simon just want to forget about what happened and move on? Does John want that? He knows immediately the answer is a resounding no. No, he wants a do-over. He wants to be back in the bakery with the confidence to close the distance and kiss Simon. He wants to have kissed him so thoroughly that he can’t help but feel the same for John. He wants to have shown him how well he will treat him. He wants this to be a date where they walk around town after, holding hands and sneaking more kisses.

“Johnny?” a voice calls and he’s shaken out of his stupor to find Simon holding their sandwiches, head cocked and brow furrowed. John clears his throat and gives him what he hopes looks like a real smile.

“Sorry,” he replies as he follows him to a table. “Just thinkin’”.

“About?” Simon asks, sitting across from him and handing him his food. John shrugs as he opens it up and takes a bite.

“Nothin’ really,” he answers with his mouth full. “Just thinkin’”.

Simon hums and starts on his own food, not seeming put off by his bad table manners.

He never is, John realizes. He has a tendency to talk with his mouth full a lot, a bad habit that’s followed him from childhood. He can’t help it. So many things pop in his head and he just says them before he forgets, even if he’s mid-chew. It used to drive his Mam mad and he’d hear about it at nearly every meal his family shared together.

Simon’s never said anything about it though. John is sure he notices, the man often annoyed by many sounds throughout the day, but he’s never even reacted to it. He can’t help but wonder why.

“Mind if we pop by the bookstore after this?” Simon asks. “I need somethin’ new to read”.

“No’ at all,” John replies, perking up at the thought of spending even more time with him outside of their little bubble. “Ye think they have sketchbooks? I’m runnin’ out of room in mine”.

“Aye,” Simon replies, glancing at him and away just as quickly. “They have journals too. I noticed you don’t have many pages left in yours either”.

“Are ye snoopin’ in my things, Simon?” John teases, knowing good and well he hasn’t. Even though he’s caught him eyeing them curiously, he knows he’s never opened them. If he had, they would’ve had quite the conversation.

Truth is, both books have recently featured the man. Pages and pages of his face and hands, along with paragraphs of John’s feelings poured onto them. Everything he's whined to Lady, Kyle, and Gary about and then some. It’s a great outlet, but had Simon seen or read any of it, he’d have had questions.

“You know I wouldn’t do that, Johnny,” Simon says. It’s phrased like an answer, but John can hear the question in his tone.

“Aye, I ken that,” he replies.

Simon smiles so softly at him, he has to look away. Does he even know what that does to him? He can’t tell if he does and is doing it on purpose, or if he just keeps broadcasting his feelings without realizing it. What are those feelings though? He wishes he would just tell him. Is this actually a date? Does he like him in the way John does? Does he want something real?

Those questions eat at him as they finish their dinner. Once done, Simon takes their trash and throws it away. His continuous care tugs at John’s heart and messes with his mind.

It's no better in the bookstore. Instead of branching off and doing their own shopping, Simon sticks with him, waiting patiently as he looks through the sketchbooks, then the journals. He’s a bit picky with them, but ends up finding what he’s looking for in the end.

Then it’s Simon’s turn and, oh does it make his heart hammer even harder. He follows the other man toward the romance section and watches in shock, blush on his cheeks, as he looks through the selection. Simon unashamedly tells him about the ones he’s already read, some of them John is familiar with, and even flags down one of the employees, who seems to recognize him as a regular, and asks for a recommendation. She glances at John cheekily, gaze flicking between the two, before choosing one with two men on the cover, one in a kilt. He would’ve rolled his eyes if he didn’t feel like his face was about to erupt in flames. Simon chuckles though and thanks her before turning to John as she walks off.

“Ready to go?” he asks, like it’s nothing, but his own pink cheeks tell John he at least is feeling somewhat similarly.

“Aye,” he says, voice cracking. Simon doesn’t mention it though, and they walk to the counter.

The final straw is when Simon takes John’s books from his hands and places them on the counter with his own. He does his best to protest, but the stubborn Brit just smiles, wider than ever before, and pays.

He has a feeling, and, as they drive, he contemplates his next move.

He has to ask. There’s no way around it. He needs to know that he’s not imagining things. This wasn’t just an outing between flatmates, not even one between friends. It could’ve been. There wasn’t anything all that special about it, besides Simon paying for everything, if not for the way the blond keeps looking at him.

He hasn’t seen him happier than he has this afternoon. The man looks like he’s on cloud nine, even with the air of nervousness surrounding him. This is a date. It has to be. Leave it to Simon to not outright ask, though, and to barely act any differently during it. It begs the question: has he ever been on one before? Maybe he doesn’t know the etiquette. He reads all those romance novels though. Surely he must know he should make his intentions clear.

Unless he’s scared.

Kate opened his eyes to the fact that Simon may be worried about pushing Johnny into something too quickly. Is this his way of testing the waters? A near kiss doesn’t necessarily mean romantic interest. Maybe he thinks John just wanted a quick fuck. Oh how wrong he is if he truly thinks that.

Once they park beside the bakery, John grabs Simon’s arm, stopping him from getting out of the truck.

“Simon,” he says, throat tight with anxiety at the impending conversation, but he needs to know. “What is this?”.

“What's what?” Simon asks and, were it not for the genuine look of confusion, John would think he’s taking the piss.

“This,” says, swatting the bag in Simon’s hand. “Payin’ for it. For dinner. All the smiles and the starin’. What is this?”.

Simon’s smile falters a bit and he takes a deep breath, letting go of the door handle. John waits with bated breath as he wrestles with something in his mind.

“I’m not good at this,” Simon says quietly, staring straight ahead. “I’ve never been one for companionship. At least, I thought I wasn’t. I thought I was fine with the way things were. I thought I was okay bein’ alone”.

He turns and gives him a small smile.

“Until I met you,” he continues. “You changed everything, Johnny. From the moment I saw you, I knew my life would never be the same. The pull I felt was- indescribable. It was like I’ve known you forever. Then you spoke to me like we were old friends. You weren’t put off by my rough edges. You didn’t care that I was closed off. You talked to me like I was worth somethin’. Like you cared”.

John feels his heart ache and his eyes water. He wants to reach out. To grab Simon’s hand and tell him yes. Yes, he’s someone to care for. That he’s worth everything. He’s frozen though, and Simon doesn’t give him a chance regardless.

“I knew you were hurtin’. I could see it, even before those nights we’d sit together. I didn’t want to pressure you. You were dealin’ with so much and I didn’t want to burden you with my feelin’s”.

No, he wants to cry. He could never be a burden.

“But then yesterday happened,” Simon says, swallowing hard. “You wanted to kiss me too, I know it. I should’ve. I should’ve done it, but I was scared. Not that you weren’t ready, not anymore, but because I wasn’t. I don’t know what I’m doin’, Johnny. I don’t know how to care like this. I don’t do this. I’ve never dated. Never had feelin’s for anyone. Most I’ve done is a couple one night stands and I regretted each one. I don’t know how to be the person you deserve, and you deserve the fuckin’ world, Johnny. You deserve everythin’. I don’t know how to give it to you, but I want to try. I want to learn how to love you properly. I’m gonna fuck it up, I know I will, but if you let me, I’d like to learn how”.

The look in Simon’s eyes is devastatingly beautiful, his words even more so. Never has anyone regarded John with such love and adoration. It’s the very thing he’s always fantasized about, even secretly read about. True love. He stopped believing in it a long time ago, back when he realized love takes a lot of hard work. Maybe though, it doesn’t have to be as hard as he thought. He has no delusions that things with Simon will be a breeze, they both have a lot of baggage, but unlike with William, John feels determined to weather any storm that comes their way.

“Ye bastart,” he croaks, wiping his eyes. “Tellin’ me ye dinnae ken how ta do this, then go charmin’ me more than anyone else ever has”.

Simon shrugs, face sweetly bashful.

“May’ve been practicin’ that the past few hours,” he admits. John smiles, reaching over and cupping his cheek. Simon leans into the touch and John feels himself being pulled in, like a siren’s call.

“You heard me, right?” Simon asks as he inches closer. “I don’t know what I’m doin’”.

“I heard ye,” John replies, their lips a breath away. He can see how Simon’s pupils dilate. Can hear how his throat clicks when he swallows. “Guess it’s my turn ta be the teacher”.

He doesn’t wait for a reply, desperate to make up for their last attempt. The first press of Simon’s lips against his is everything he’d dreamed it would be. They’re soft, but firm, like he’s determined to get this right. It makes it hard to slot them together properly, and he has to pull back and thumb at the plush flesh to get him to relax, but it’s so incredibly Simon. His determination to finally do this and his obvious inexperience. His need to control his fate and his desire to give in to it. All of it makes this the best kiss John has ever had.

It turns heated fast, all their pent up desire and emotions bubbling up between them. Simon gasps when John nips at his lips and the Scot takes the opportunity to lick into his mouth. The soft moan he lets out is sweeter than any pastry they’ve ever made and he feels himself get drunk on it. He needs to hear it again. Needs it more than he needs air.

John pushes closer, hands wandering and gripping as he does. Simon is just as needy, even slipping his fingers beneath the hem of his shirt and teasing along the skin of his waist. John shudders and kisses him harder, more frenzied. His pants are growing tighter and it hits him just how long it’s been since he’s had this.

The thought, and the sound of the car horn blaring as he hits the steering wheel in their lust-filled haze, has him pulling away with a gasp. The truck is quickly filled with the sounds of their labored breathing. John takes in the breathtaking sight Simon is. His eyes are closed as he tries to calm himself, bottom lip trapped between his teeth, and face red. His throat bobs as he swallows and pants and John can barely keep himself from lunging back in. Soon enough though, Simon peeks at him through lidded eyes.

“Solid, Johnny?” he asks. John grins at how unsure it sounds.

“Aye, Simon,” he replies. Simon nods.

“Good,” he says, grinning back, something about it sending shivers down John’s spine. “I’m not done with you yet”.

Chapter Text

Lust isn’t something he really thinks about.

Sure, he gets aroused and has no issues taking care of himself when he does. It’s not that he has any hang ups about pleasure, and he thinks he has a healthy enough libido, he just never really feels it directed at another person is all.

Of course Johnny changes that for him too.

Given his usual lack of lustful thoughts, and his recent crisis surrounding just as unfamiliar romantic feelings, he hadn’t noticed how pent up he’s become. Sure it’s dawned on him the past couple weeks that he feels a bit more hot below the collar, but he chalked it up to his obvious attraction to Johnny and feeling awkward about getting off with him sleeping right across the hall. It felt wrong, especially given how the thought of his face was starting to accompany those feelings.

When Johnny finally kissed him though, those feelings hit him like a punch to the gut.

At first Simon just pressed their lips together, too determined not to chicken out this time to focus on technique. When the Scot ran a thumb across the seam of his lips though, he realized he wasn’t doing a very good job. Then he felt a sharp nip followed by something warm and wet sliding into his mouth. When he realized it was Johnny’s tongue he was gone.

The moan that left him would’ve been embarrassing if Johnny hadn’t so obviously enjoyed it. Strong hands skimmed across his body and Simon couldn’t help but reciprocate, reaching out to touch his burning flesh. He let himself surrender to the heat of him, ready to be engulfed by the flames of all-encompassing pleasure.

Until the sound of a horn startles him out of his haze.

They part like they were both shocked, and with how wired Simon now feels, he wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case. He can’t even open his eyes as he tries with all his might to calm his breathing. He can still feel the burn of Johnny’s skin on his, despite the fact that they’re no longer touching, and finds he’s desperate to remedy that. Eventually he opens his eyes to find Johnny looking at him like an animal hunting it’s prey.

“Solid, Johnny?” he asks, voice shaking with his final bid at making sure he really, truly wants this too.

“Aye, Simon,” Johnny replies, eyes glinting and it makes his heart leap with excitement. He nods, more to himself at what he takes as the go ahead than in answer.

“Good,” he replies. “I’m not done with you yet”.

They both scramble out of the truck and Simon worries for a moment that the heat is going to die with the dropping temperature. Johnny, however, quickly rounds to his side, pressing him against the driver’s side door and kissing him again. This one is just as good as the first one and he loses himself once more, trailing his hands up and down Johnny’s sides as the Scot grips his hips. The scruff on their chins and cheeks rub together pleasantly as they swallow each other’s hums and Simon just can’t get enough.

They’re once again interrupted though when Simon feels the splash of raindrops on his head.

“Ach, fer the love of-,” Johnny groans, glaring up at the dark clouds above them.

It’s ridiculous, and Simon can’t help the laugh that bursts out of him, loud and incredulous, at their bad luck. How is it every time they try to kiss, they’re interrupted? He can’t even be mad though. Not when Johnny looks at him with wide, shining eyes and parted, pink lips.

“God, I’ve been dyin’ ta hear that,” Johnny breathes, awe etched upon every inch of his face. Simon cocks his head, hand traveling up to thumb at his rosy cheek.

“Hear what?” he asks, blinking away the growing streams of rain running down his face as the skies open up even more.

“Yer laugh,” Johnny replies softly, hands gripping him harder. “Yer real laugh. Best sound I’ve ever heard”.

Simon’s cheeks grow warmer and he hides it with another kiss, this one not as desperate, but just as deep and passionate. He doesn’t want to part from him. Doesn’t want to burst the heavenly bubble they’re in, but as the rain beats down harder, he’s reminded of the frigid temperature.

“Johnny,” he murmurs against the mouth currently trying to eat him alive, shivering from the sensation and the freezing droplets running down his back. “We should get inside. Mh. It’s gettin’ cold”.

Johnny hums in frustration, moving to mouth down the column of Simon’s throat. He moans, eyes rolling and head dropping back as he grips the Scot tighter.

“Johnny,” he pants, hips bucking forward to seek some friction. “Let’s go inside. Wanna, ah, wanna feel you proper”.

“Aye?” Johnny growls, nipping just below his Adam’s apple and earning himself another moan. “Gonna let me take ye ta bed? Been gaggin’ fer it ye know. Cannae go a single night without thinkin’ of ye laid out below me. Wanna take care of ye, Simon. Wanna make ye feel good”.

“Yes,” Simon whines, too far gone to be embarrassed anymore. “Take me to bed, Johnny. Need you so fuckin’ bad”.

That’s all it takes for Johnny to finally unlatch with a lewd pop barely audible above the downpour. They’re both soaked, but neither care, Simon especially when Johnny takes his hand and leads him quickly to the side door.

The Brit laughs again, downright giggles, as Johnny presses close, kissing the side of his neck as he goes to unlock it, but finds it propped slightly. He's far too distracted to think about it and too blissed out when Johnny tugs him up the stairs to hear four quiet, excited voices whispering behind the slightly cracked door of the bakery kitchen.

When they enter the flat, Johnny presses him against the door yet again, clearly enjoying manhandling him every chance he gets. Simon goes easily, enjoying it just as much. The Scot may be shorter but, like he’d suspected (fantasized), he has no problem moving him as he pleases.

“Can’ fuckin’ get enough of ye,” Johnny groans, kissing down his throat again and sucking a mark into his collar bone. Simon arches into it, growing more and more desperate.

“C’mon, Johnny,” he whines, forcing himself to push him back. “You said you’d take me to bed”.

“Alright, love,” Johnny replies, smiling his lovely, crooked smile. “Let’s get those wet clothes off ye”.

They’re forced to detangle themselves to walk down the hall, Lady getting in the way until rain water drips onto her as they kick off their shoes. She gives an affronted meow and darts away, shaking it off her coat. They both giggle, calling out apologies before shuffling into Johnny’s room and shutting the door.

Once inside, Simon wastes no more time, stripping his uncomfortable, soaked jeans off. Johnny follows suit, nearly toppling over in his haste. It’s as Simon grabs the hem of his shirt that a massive realization hits him.

He hasn’t told Johnny.

He freezes, heart stuttering as he curses himself. How could he be so stupid? This is a pretty big thing to throw on someone in the middle of hooking up. The other couple times he’d done this, his bedmates had been aware before the meet up as he didn’t want to deal with any backlash in person. He hasn’t really had to worry about coming out in so long that he hadn’t thought about it. Last people he told were Gary and Kyle and that was a couple years ago.

Johnny seems to notice his hesitation once he’s steady on his feet again, finally wrestling his own shirt off, dressed only in his briefs. Simon tries not to look at his sizable bulge, swallowing nervously as he tries to figure out what to do next.

“Simon?” Johnny says, gently touching his arm. Simon stiffens, glancing up to his worried eyes.

“Johnny,” he says, throat tight. “I- I need to tell you somethin’”. He flounders for a moment, words catching as he tries to parse out the best way to say it.

“Ye ken we don’ have ta do anythin’ tonight, aye?” Johnny says, brows knit together in concern. “We can stop here if ye want. Ye said ye dinnae do this often. I don’ mind waitin’. I’m just happy ye want me too. We can just cuddle or somethin’. Whatever ye want, I’m happy ta give ye”.

The tension in his shoulders relaxes a bit, heart warming at the care in his voice. It reminds him why he’s fallen head over heels for the man. He’s just so good.

“It’s not that,” he chuckles nervously, fiddling with the hem of his shirt still clutched in his grip. “I do want this. More than anythin’, it’s just- I- I kinda forgot to tell you somethin’ and it’s a lot. I’ll understand if it’s too much. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, it just slipped my mind. I don’t really think about it anymore, ya know? It’s just who I am. I’m just used to it. You haven’t been here long and it hasn’t come up yet, you know?”.

“Simon,” Johnny says softly, cutting through his increasingly frantic rambling, curious eyes shining up at him. “Whatever it is, ye can tell me. I care about ye very much. Ye’re no’ gonna scare me away”.

Simon nods, taking a deep breath, and looking right into Johnny’s eyes.

“I’m trans,” he says simply, figuring it’s best to just lay it all out. He watches as Johnny’s brow furrows then raises, understanding hitting him.

“Oh,” he replies and Simon notices how his surprise quickly morphs into nervousness. His heart plummets, sure he’s about to hear that Johnny is not longer interested.

“It’s alright if you’re not up for this anymore,” he says, trying to keep the hurt and disappointment out of his voice. “I should’ve told you before we got to this point”.

“No,” Johnny says quickly, hands shooting forward to grasp his. He looks panicked and Simon instinctively grips his hands back. “I am up fer this, I promise ye that. It’s just- Have ye, uh, have ye had any surgeries?”.

Simon blinks, not having expected the question. He was more prepared for Johnny to be upset he’d been led on or uncomfortable with the whole thing.

“Ach, that’s a shitty question isn’t it?” Johnny asks, cursing himself. “It really doesnae matter. I promise I don’ care, it doesnae change anythin’”.

“No, it’s fine,” Simon assures him, feeling much less worried and more fond of how seriously Johnny’s taking this. “I’ve had top surgery, no bottom. It’s expensive and I’m okay with what I’ve got at the moment”.

Johnny nods, lifting his head and chewing his lip as he obviously works something out in his mind. Simon waits with bated breath, curious about what he’s thinking.

“Sorry,” Johnny says sheepishly, cheeks flushing. “I’m still very interested, I promise. It’s just I- uh- I wanted ta take care of ye. Thought about this a lot and really wanted ta make it good fer ye. Maybe show off a bit with how good I can make ye feel, if I’m bein’ honest, but I- uh- I dinnae have much experience with- uh- with-”.

He gestures toward the front of Simon’s pants before burying his face in his hands.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he groans into his palms, and Simon can’t help but smile at the way he's gone red from the tips of his ears to his defined, hairy chest. “I’m no’ doin’ this right. That was stupid. Don’ listen ta me, just- pretend I didnae say that”.

Simon chuckles, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around him. Johnny freezes for a moment before burying his face in Simon’s chest, hiding his mortification.

“It’s alright, Johnny,” Simon assures him, stroking his damp hair and smiling wider when the Scot melts a bit. “It’s kinda a relief if I’m bein’ honest. I was worried I’d be a bit of a let down. It’s been years since I’ve been with someone”.

Johnny pushes back and looks up at him, affronted.

“Nothin’ about ye could be a let down, Simon,” he insists before seeming to remember his embarrassment. He chuckles, hands coming up to nervously smooth Simon’s shirt. “Guess we’re both gonna learn together this time, aye?”.

Simon hums, not feeling as nervous now that the playing field has evened out. He tilts Johnny's face up and presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I like the sound of that,” he replies.

Johnny smiles when he pulls back, slowly trailing his hands down to the bottom of Simon’s shirt. He nods, lifting his arms to let Johnny peel it off him, more water dripping down when the collar ruffles his wet hair. He blinks it out of his eyes and finds the Scot looking hesitantly curious at his chest.

“You can touch me,” Simon says, chuckling when Johnny jumps slightly at being caught staring.

“Can ye- uh- can ye feel it?” he asks as he gently caresses the various scars.

“Not there,” Simon replies as he thumbs at his nipples. “The nerve endings didn’t reconnect for me. I can feel everywhere else though”.

Johnny nods, looking up at him through his lashes and grinning cheekily when he gives his pecs a squeeze.

“I have a bit of that in my knee,” he replies. “Had surgery on it after fuckin’ it up in a football match as a lad. Still have spots that’re numb”.

Simon hums again, hands stroking Johnny’s hips as he talks.

“That’s fascinatin’ and all,” he replies. “But if you don’t get the rest of my clothes off in the next 10 seconds, I’ll go take care of myself”.

Johnny’s mouth snaps shut before a smirk spreads across it.

“I see,” he lilts, fingers dropping to fiddle with the waistband of his pants. “Ye have another use fer my mouth, aye?”.

Simon doesn’t get a chance to respond as Johnny drops gracefully to his knees, taking the black fabric down with him. The blond groans at the picture Johnny makes, staring up at him as he is.

“Johnny,” he whispers as his gaze dips down to Simon’s cock, jutting out from his folds and the neatly trimmed hair above it. Johnny doesn’t reply. Instead, he looks back up at Simon as he flicks his tongue out and licks at him.

Simon moans, long and reedy, at the sensation. It’s been so long since he’s had anything other than his own fingers or a toy, but he doesn’t remember it feeling this good. Whether it's the time since or just the fact that it’s Johnny slowing growing more and more confident as he licks and sucks at his throbbing cock, he can’t tell. All he knows is that he’s approaching his peak embarrassingly quickly.

“Johnny,” he pants, hand burying itself in his damp mohawk. He wants to pull him back to prolong the moment, but it feels too damn good. “Johnny, wait. I’m gonna- hng- I’m gonna come”.

Johnny sucks harder, nodding up at him with wild eyes. It seems all of Simon’s moans and whines have him feeling much more sure of himself. The confidence makes Simon go hot all over and with a cry of Johnny’s name, he topples over the edge.

Johnny moans against his cock as he does, tongue nudging further back and lapping up the slick dripping out of him. He hums at the taste, pulling back to savour it before diving in for more. Simon hisses, cunt still pulsing from his orgasm that Johnny’s tongue is prolonging as he dips into his hole, chasing more of his taste.

“Johnny, wait,” he grits, now actually tugging him back. Johnny resists for a moment, getting one last deep lick before he obeys, pulling his face out of his core.

Simon watches, slack-jawed, as the Scot licks his lips, eyes blissfully closed. He watches as his throat bobs as he swallows down Simon’s juices.

“Ye taste like heaven,” Johnny sighs, opening his eyes and smiling dopily up at him. Simon swallows, words escaping him at the pure adoration on his face.

Johnny seems to notice something in his eyes and quickly stands, claiming his mouth in a deep, filthy kiss. Simon can taste himself on his tongue and it drives him mad. He gets lost in it, growing more and more desperate as he starts to taste Johnny mingling in too.

He's so gone in the feeling of their tongues and lips sliding together that he doesn’t notice Johnny’s hands snaking around to his arse until he’s lifted off the ground. The show of strength rips another deep moan from him and he can feel Johnny’s smile against his mouth before he’s laid onto the bed.

“Ye like that, don’ ye?” Johnny purrs, nipping at the lobe of his ear. Simon shivers, nodding as he turns his head to give him more room to press kisses into his neck. “Ye like it when I manhandle ye? Ye like being tossed around, Simon?”.

“Yes,” Simon groans, bucking into Johnny’s leg settled between his as he mouths at his throat.

“Fuck, ye sound so sweet,” Johnny coos, hand trailing down to his sopping cunt and dipping between his lips. Simon’s breath hitches as his finger teases his entrance, prodding a bit not quite dipping in yet.

“Dammit, Johnny c’mon,” Simon grits, trying to press into his touch. Johnny tsks, holding his hips still with the same hand, stopping his ministrations.

“Don’ ye worry, love,” he murmurs, kissing Simon’s temple as the older man’s breath catches at the nickname. “I’ll make it good, I promise. Just tell me what ye need”.

“Keep touchin’ me,” Simon pleads, hand reaching down and joining Johnny’s. He presses the finger lingering in his folds to his pulsating hole, a desperate whine climbing up his throat.

“Alright,” Johnny soothes, kissing him again as he circles it once more. “Open up for me, dove. That’s it. Fuuuuck, yer tight”.

Simon’s eyes roll back as Johnny’s finger finally slides in, dragging along his walls. It takes a bit of direction, but soon enough, Simon gets his fingers moving so he prods at his sweet spot.

“So wet,” Johnny keens, adding another finger. “Cannae wait ta feel ye wrapped around my cock. God, I can’ wait. Been imaginin’ it fer days”.

“Me- me too,” Simon chokes, white hot arousal building in his gut. “Can’t wait anymore, Johnny. Need you inside me. Please. I need your cock in me”.

“You sure?” Johnny pants, clearly fighting back his need to make sure Simon’s really ready. It’d be endearing if he didn’t feel like he was gonna burst.

“Fuck me, Johnny,” Simon growls, clenching around his fingers.

He holds back a whimper when they’re pulled free, already missing the full feeling. He’s not made to lament the loss too long as he catches sight of Johnny’s cock springing free from his pants.

“No wonder you’re such a cocky bastard,” Simon chuckles breathlessly. He almost regrets not having him open him up a bit more, but the excitement thrumming through his veins is far stronger than his trepidation at Johnny’s massive size.

“Don’ let it fool ye,” Johnny grins sheepishly. “I dinnae think I’m gonna last long”.

“Me neither,” Simon admits. “We have time for that later. Right now, I just wanna come on your cock”.

“Later?” Johnny asks, hope so incredibly raw in the single word. Simon smiles.

“You think I confessed my love for you for a single hookup?” he asks. Johnny laughs, the sound suspiciously thick as his eyes shine.

“No,” he croaks before clearing his throat. “Just makin’ sure”.

Simon cups his face, pulling him down for a kiss.

“I’ll keep you forever if you let me,” he whispers.

Johnny’s breath hitches and, with what almost sounds like a sob, he crashes down onto Simon, kissing him like a man starved. Simon tries to keep up, but the prod of something firm and huge at his cunt has him gasping. Johnny moves his kisses to Simon’s neck as he presses forward, head of his cock finally popping into Simon’s tight, wet heat. It pulls a strangled moan from both of them as Simon scrambles for purchase, nails skating across Johnny’s back.

“Shit,” he cries, clenching so tightly around him, he’s almost afraid he’s gonna break his cock. “Johnny- fuck- don’t fuckin’ stop. Keep- keep goin’. Ah, feels so good”.

“Simon,” Johnny hisses, panting into his throat as he presses deeper and deeper. They can’t do more than cling to each other through the slow glide, Simon fighting another orgasm. He wants to wait. Wants to come with Johnny.

“Steamin’ Jesus,” Johnny groans when he finally bottoms out. He pulls back to look at Simon, who blinks tears out of his eyes from the overwhelming fullness.

“Think you’re in my throat,” he slurs, a shaky hand pressing on his stomach. They both moan when he pushes on Johnny’s cock lodged deep inside.

“Move,” Simon swallows thickly. “You can move. Don’t- don’t hold back”.

Johnny nods, sweat beading on his brow. He pressing his forehead to Simon’s as he starts up a rhythm. It takes a moment, both of them already so close to coming, but he’s eventually able to thrust into him, slow and deep.

“God, ye feel so good,” Johnny moans between long, wet kisses. Simon swallows down his words along with his tongue, the two of them making a mess of the other’s mouths.

“So do you,” Simon murmurs, meeting his thrusts. His gut bubbles with heat, spine tingling as he nears his peak. “Keep goin’, love. ‘M close. Gonna come. Will you come with me, Johnny?”.

“Yes,” Johnny whines, hips stuttering as his balls draw up. It takes only a few more rolling thrusts before pleasure zips through them both.

Their moans and cries are muffled as they lick into each other’s mouths, unable to part for a second. Simon drags his nails down Johnny’s back as his cunt flutters around him. Johnny gasps in return, grinding deep enough inside that Simon’s sure he bumps his cervix. For a wild moment, he vaguely hopes it’ll take.

The thought is fleeting as they pant through their come down, lips brushing together as often as they can manage it. It’s a good several minutes before Johnny can bring himself to pull out, wincing adorably at the overstimulation, and a few more before he gets up on wobbly legs to grab a rag.

Simon stretches himself out on the bed while he’s gone, body sore in the best way. He shudders at the feeling of Johnny’s come leaking out of him, and becomes aware of the state of the bed.

Their rain soaked bodies have done a number to the bedding, all of it far too damp to sleep in. He doesn’t have any extra sheets and he curses at himself for not having bought any more yet.

“Ye alright, Simon?” Johnny asks, looking nervously as he renters the room. Simon smiles, forgetting about the sheets in favor of the beautiful man in front of him.

“Never better,” he answers honestly. Johnny relaxes, striding over to wipe him clean. As he does so, Simon hums. “Bed’s a mess. Gonna need to clean it all before you go to sleep”.

Johnny’s brow raises as he assesses the damage before he gives Simon another cheeky grin.

“Might just have ta sleep with ye tonight”.

Chapter Text

“Fuck, how do ye do this every damn day?” John groans, shaking out his aching forearms yet again. He glares at the offending dough in front of him, not pouting at how Simon chuckles at him.

“You’ll get used to it,” Simon says, pausing his own kneading and walking over to him. John scoffs, reluctantly placing his hands back on the dough.

“No’ if my arms fall off first,” he grumbles.

Today’s his first day making bread from start to finish. Up until now, he’s been in charge of all the sweets they sell- muffins, donuts, cookies, pies- but he hadn’t done the bread yet. Like with the cake decorating, that he’s slowly getting better at, he’d underestimated just how difficult it is. How can it be so hard? He’s in extremely good shape. It’s not like he doesn’t work his forearms at the gym, and he’s gotten even more opportunities to strengthen them and his hands since he and Simon started their relationship, yet here he is, trying to work the dough despite the burn in his muscles.

“Here,” Simon hums, stepping up behind him and circling his arms around so he can place his hands over his. John huffs out a laugh, but leans into the firm line of his body, frustration melting away as he sneaks a quick kiss to his jaw. If he thought Simon was a distraction before, it’s nothing compared to now. It’s hard to concentrate when the urge to kiss him haunts his every waking moment. He just can’t get enough of the man.

“Focus,” Simon chides fondly, working both their hands into the dough. John follows along as best he can, but it’s hard to obey when he can smell Simon’s body wash and feel his heat surrounding him.

“Ye ever see that one movie?” he asks, nuzzling his head into Simon’s neck. “That American one with that pottery scene?”.

“What, Ghost?” Simon asks, laughing as he nuzzles back. John nods into him.

“Aye,” he replies, slowly forgetting the dough and focusing more on his boyfriend. “Ye’re my Ghost”.

“That you’re idea of a pet name?” Simon asks amusedly. John removes his hands from the dough, ignoring the fond sigh he gets, and turning to wrap them around Simon’s nape instead.

“Ye haunt the bakery enough,” he muses. Simon snorts.

“Alright,” he says, hands finding their place on John’s hips. “I get to pick one for you then”.

John waits patiently as he thinks, admiring his handsome face until he glances behind the Scot and grins cheekily, looking back at him.

“How ‘bout Soap?”.

John furrows his brow in confusion before looking back at what gave him the idea. He groans when he sees the sink, dirty dishes stacked beside it.

“Ach, ye think ye’re real cute, hm?” he scoffs, letting Simon go and returning his attention to the dough. Simon barks out a laugh and, as always, John’s stomach flutters from the sound of it.

“Fits as well as Ghost does,” he replies, stepping away to also get back to work.

The two continue their banter, Simon getting twice as much dough prepared as John by the end. They set them in the proofing cabinet to rise as they go, pulling some out occasionally to start baking, and soon the air is filled with the familiar, calming scent of warm bread.

True to his new nickname, John sets to washing dishes while Simon cleans the rest of the kitchen. They work in domestic comfort, something John’s grown to love in the month he’s been here.

As he works, he thinks back to his first day. It feels like another lifetime. He’d been so broken, so convinced he’d never get back on his feet, let alone find love again. Yet here he is, living an absolute dream with the most amazing partner. It’s still so early in their relationship, far too early to be as in love as he is, but he’s decided not to fight it. For some reason, he knows this is a love that’s gonna last. At least, it’s one he’s going to fight tooth and nail for.

“Got some time before we open,” Simon says as they finish cleaning, John wiping the sink down before taking off his wet apron while the Brit puts away his cleaning supplies. “Might go clean off the pavement again”.

Simon’s been taking time in the morning the past few days to shovel the snow that’s fallen. It’s not much, but as some of their early morning regulars are older, he likes to make sure the path to the door is clear for them.

“Might be a good idea,” John says, sauntering over to him. Simon raises a brow as he gets closer, finger tracing down the older man’s chest when he reaches him. “Or we could…”.

“Johnny,” Simon warns, but John hears how breathy it is. He grins, steadying himself with his hands on Simon’s waist as he leans up on tiptoe to kiss him.

“C’mon, love,” he hums, skin tingling when Simon returns his kisses. “Like ye said, we have time”.

Simon’s hum rumbles his chest and John presses closer. Their hands snake around, pulling themselves flush together and John lets out a soft moan as his hips meet Simon’s.

“Johnny,” Simon murmurs, pulling back from their kiss. John doesn’t let it deter him and starts peppering more down his throat.

He loves how breathless and pliant Simon becomes when he does this. He noticed it their first night together and oh what a beautiful night it was. After their first joint orgasms, and a nice, warm bath, they were able to slow down and really take their time with each other. They took full advantage of not needing to wake before the crack of dawn the next morning, and when they finally rose in the early afternoon, John all but tackled him back into the bed to kiss over the dark bruises scattered across his chest and throat.

It's been much the same since then. Simon seems to be making up for years of repressed urges and John is more than willing to go along with it. It’s not all sex though. They’ve had really good conversations too, some that end in laughter and some that end in tears. All of them bring them closer though, and John can feel so many broken parts of himself slowly healing.

Of course the closeness does make for even better sex.

They just can’t keep their hands off each other for long and, embarrassingly, the others have noticed the shift. Not that they’ve been caught, thankfully, but he and Simon make less and less frequent appearances in the bakery as of late. They’re always willing to help when truly needed, of course, but, well, they just have more entertaining things to do.

John nips at Simon’s collar bone, pulling a throaty groan from him. He loves how vocal his lover is, always letting him hear how good he makes him feel. His initial worries about not knowing how to please Simon had all been for not. What he lacks in experience, he more than makes up for with enthusiasm. It really isn’t hard to pull orgasm after orgasm out of the blond when he tastes and feels so good. He’s found himself spending more time with his face buried between Simon’s legs than anything else and he can’t get enough.

“Let me taste ye?” he purrs, hand dancing down to Simon’s waistband. The Brit bites his lip, eyes growing heavy with his arousal.

“Not here,” he grits, so very clearly fighting the urge to give in. John grins slyly.

“Why no’?” he lilts, dipping his fingers below the fabric and playing with the mound of hair he loves. “We’ve got time”.

“’Cause it’s a bloody health violation,” Simon hisses, pulling John’s hand out of his pants and gripping his wrist. The Scot chuckles, raising his other hand placatingly.

“Alright, alright,” he laughs, glancing toward the office and back at Simon with a grin who, in turn, stares at him incredulously.

“I’ll clean up any mess ye make,” he offers, wagging his brow. Simon sighs, exasperated, but doesn’t protest. With a sound of triumph, John pulls him by his grip to the open door, carefully pushing stacks of papers and folders to the side of the desk.

“Can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Simon mutters, letting John pull his bottom layers down before sitting on the edge of the desk. John falls instantly to his knees, eyeing the way the wet curls above his cock cling to his skin.

“Didnae seem ta take much convincin’,” he points out. Knowing he’s pushing his luck, he leans forward and shoves his tongue into the warm, inviting heat in front of him.

Simon’s retort is lost in a long, drawn out moan as he buries his hand in John’s mohawk. The Scot lets out his own moan as he laps up the slick dripping from him, the slight taste of his own cum from this morning mingled in. It doesn’t take long to get Simon panting and tugging his hair, directing him to where he needs him most. John lets him, happy to be used like a toy, his only objective to bring Simon as much pleasure as possible. He licks into him one last time, feeling the way his cunt has started pulsing, before dragging his tongue up to his cock, swirling around it, then sucking. Simon arches into him with a gasp, pushing his face so hard into his core his breathing is cut off. He doesn’t care, just keeps sucking until Simon’s finally had enough and pulls him off.

John grins, licking his lips as he watches Simon catch his breath.

“Told ye ye’d make a mess,” he lilts, eyeing the glistening top of the desk. Simon groans as he glances down at it, face growing stern when he sees John’s hungry look.

“Don’t even think about it,” he warns. John pouts, before sighing and getting supplies to clean the mess the proper way.

Once all evidence of their morning tryst is cleared, the two go outside to clean the pavement, the cold helping John’s arousal dull to a low simmer. They shovel the path to the door as well as most of the carpark, sprinkling more salt to combat the ice. Simon returns to the kitchen halfway through to pull the bread from the ovens while John continues, wincing every so often when the cold makes his knee ache.

By the end, his arms and knee are pure done in. He puts away the two shovels, sniffling and shivering as he trudges back inside through the side door, not wanting to track snow through the front of house. As he toes off his boots and pulls his trainers back on, he hears Price and Nik's truck pull in. He waits for them, figuring this is as good a time as any to catch one of them with Simon busy. He’s been meaning to talk to them about something important and time is running short.

They greet him when they enter, the two also wanting to keep the front dry until customers start arriving. Nik hugs him, something he’s become more comfortable doing since he and Simon got together, and Price claps his shoulder warmly.

They had probably been more excited about their new relationship than the two young men had. Both had nearly cried the day after their first date when they told them, as well as Gary and Kyle, that it had gone quite well. Of course their friends had to let them know that the four of them had seen the lead up to just how well it went, eyeing the bruises on Simon’s neck as they teased. John thought he was going to burst into flames with how hot his face got, knowing Nik and Price saw, and Simon seemed to feel similarly. They all congratulated them though and Kyle even told him how relieved he was that he’d found someone so good for him when they had a moment alone later on.

“Can I have a mo’ with one of ye?” John asks, letting them decide in their silent way of communicating with each other who would distract Simon. Nik hangs back while Price enters the kitchen and John lets the door shut before turning to the older man.

“I wanted ta ask ye somethin’ ‘bout Si,” he says, stomach fluttering with nerves. Nik raises a brow.

“I hoped you two would give this relationship a little more time before making any big decisions,” he says. John splutters, doing his best to ignore how his heart leaps at the notion.

“Don’ think we’re quite at that point yet,” he assures him and Nik nods with a grin. “I just wanted ta know, with it bein’ Christmas in a few days, if ye ken what I could get him?”.

He blushes as he glances away from the soft look Nik’s face melts into. He’s spent the last few days racking his brain for the perfect gift. He’s not sure how to approach it. It seems too early to get him something extravagant, they’ve barely started dating. Then again, they already confessed their love for each other, so maybe it should be something special. He just wants to do this right and figures Price and Nik would be his best resource.

“Well,” Nik hums, thinking hard. “Simon’s never been big on receiving gifts. He doesn’t ask for much and can be hard to shop for. Price and I usually make him something. He enjoys homemade gifts. You could go that route. Or-”.

He breaks off, clearly thinking hard about his next suggestion. John waits, anxious to get this right.

“Or,” Nik continues. “You could get him something special. Something that shows your intentions”.

John’s brow scrunches in confusion and Nik sighs, reaching out and gently cupping his shoulder.

“Simon has a lot of fears,” he says, a hint of sadness flashing in his eyes. John nods, understanding filling his. “When he came into our lives, he was a broken, scared boy. It took a long time to gain his trust, to show him that we wouldn’t abandon him like his first family. I think the first act that showed him that was our first Christmas present to him. We gave him a key to the flat. The look in his eyes when he realized what it was broke my heart, but I knew in that moment that what Simon needs more than anything is to know that the people he cares about are here to stay. He needs to know they’ll never leave him. I know it’s early on, and you two are at the beginning of your relationship, but I also know your feelings run deep. If you’re ready for something meaningful, just show him how much you care”.

John swallows, nodding as his vision blurs. It's not what he’d expected when he asked for advice, but he can’t think of anything he wants more than to assure Simon that his feelings are real. That he’s head over heels, completely, ridiculously in love with him.

“I’ll- I’ll think of somethin’,” he croaks, swallowing again. Nik nods, squeezing his shoulder.

“I know you will,” he replies. “And thank you”. He smiles when John cocks his head. “Thank you for loving our Simon”.

John has to look away again, emotions threatening to burst out of him. He clears his throat, willing the tears away, and taking a deep breath.

“Think it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” he says. Nik’s jaw clenches and John panics a bit at the thought of him breaking down. Luckily, he seems as determined to save it for later as John is.

“We should get to the kitchen,” he offers, sniffing hard. “Don’t want Simon to become suspicious”.

John agrees and follows him in, discreetly swiping at his eyes behind his back.

Simon looks questioningly at them when they enter, but John acts ignorant. He does, however avoid eye contact when Simon walks over to him.

“Everythin’ okay?” he asks.

“Aye,” John replies. “Just had ta ask him ‘bout somethin’”.

“And that was?” Simon presses, and John continues looking away, pretending to be more interested in watching Price enter the office.

“Wouldn’t ye like ta know,” John grins, leaning up to give him a quick peck as a distraction. Unfortunately, his curiosity can’t seem to be tamed.

“I would actually,” Simon grins, seeming to enjoy making John squirm more than getting answers. The Scot, however, is saved from answering by grumbling from the office.

“Did someone move my notes around?” Price calls out.

Simon and John’s eyes widen, conversation forgotten. Before the older man can come out to confront them, the two quickly stride to the door and flee up the stairs.

*****

Simon grimaces as he squeezes through the bustling crowd, trying not to cringe at the way he’s jostled and brushed past. The noise is getting to him and the sheer amount of people has him on edge as he and Gary enter yet another shop.

The two of them branched off from Kyle and Johnny an hour ago, each pair intending to shop for their partner as they only have two more days until Christmas. Simon curses himself for waiting until the day before Christmas Eve, but he didn’t know what to get Johnny. Still doesn’t.

Obviously he knows they man doesn’t have much, he helped him move in after all, but he also doesn’t know what the future holds for them.

If it were solely up to him, Johnny would never leave. They would make the flat their home and live happily ever after, but that’s extremely presumptuous. Sure they started their relationship already living together, but that was as roommates. Most couples start off living separately, and who’s to say they’ll stay together? This thing between them is so new and fragile. It’s very likely they won’t work out.

He wants it to though. God he wants them to stay in love forever. It’s silly and wishful thinking, most likely brought on by the fact that this is his first ever relationship, but he wants it so bad. Johnny is the best thing that’s ever happened, outside of finding a family that loves him of course, and he wants to keep him.

The uncertainty has made it hard for him to shop though. He hasn’t found a single thing that stands out and he already knows Johnny doesn’t need a new journal or sketchbook. He has gotten to know more about his new partner over the last several days as they’ve opened up more to each other, but he’s still at a loss.

He knows he was studying for a business major, something that Simon thinks didn’t suit him at all. That was confirmed when Johnny said he hated every minute of it. He knows he used to study art and he’s been carefully pushing him to pursue it again, something he knows Johnny appreciates, despite his hesitancy.

He knows he too likes reading and one of the boxes Simon had carried up when he moved in indeed had several casual reading books in it. He’d offered to take him to get a bookshelf, but Johnny had declined, saying he didn’t have enough to fill more than a shelf anyway.

Johnny’s made a few comments like that when the topic of additional furniture or décor in the flat has come up. Each time, the Scot brushes it off and just says he doesn’t need it. All it’s done is further Simon’s concern that even with their relationship, their living situation is temporary.

He sighs, the thought, and having to step around yet another group of people, making the day even more frustrating.

“You alright?” Gary asks, concern and guilt evident in his eyes, knowing how stressed Simon is.

“Fine,” Simon grunts, grateful they’ve wandered to the back of the shop so he can take a breather in a corner. Gary smiles sheepishly, joining him and setting down the few bags he's carrying.

“Anythin’ I can help with?” he asks. Simon shrugs.

“Don’t happen to know what I can get for Johnny, do you?” he asks, a sharp pain starting behind his eyes. Gary looks around, contemplating.

“Not too sure,” he admits. “He’s always really grateful for anythin’ he gets, but I’ve only ever shopped for him as a friend. A partner’s different. Don’t have much to go on, given his last one was a dick”.

Simon huffs in frustration and a little surge of anger at the mention of the mistreatment from his last partner. He’s gonna fuck this up. Johnny’s always so thoughtful and caring. He’s sure to give him something in that vein, highlighting the difference in Simon’s romantic experience.

“I know there’s things he needs,” Simon admits, exasperation lacing his tone, headache making it hard to think or keep his irritability in check. “But he doesn’t want them. Every time I offer he just says it’s no big deal”.

Gary frowns, cocking his head.

“What kinds of things?” he asks.

“Things for the flat mostly,” Simon replies, running a hand down his face. “He needs a bookshelf and maybe a brighter lamp for when he paints. He’s mentioned other things too, like a vase for flowers or little knick knacks for the sitting room. Every time I offer to get him somethin’, he shoots me down”.

Understanding slowly fills Gary’s eyes as he speaks, a hint of sadness accompanying it.

“Ah,” he says awkwardly. Simon’s eyes narrow. He knows something.

“Out with it,” he says, not in the mood to ease the information out of him. Gary bites his lip, looking uncomfortable.

“I don’t know,” he stammers, not looking Simon in the eye. “If he hasn’t told you-”.

“Gary,” Simon grits, patience wearing thin. “I’m this close to losing my goddamn mind. The only reason I’m out in this sensory nightmare is for Johnny. He deserves the fuckin’ world and I have nothin’. If you know somethin’, then tell me”.

Gary’s eyes widen at his, thankfully hushed, outburst. It’s rare that Simon gets this worked up as he doesn’t often expose himself to this level of discomfort. It’s true though. Johnny deserves everything, and Simon will brave a hundred crowds to give him even a fraction of that.

“His ex never let him have a say in their flat,” Gary spills and Simon has to close his eyes and breathe, anger bubbling like magma in his chest.

It explains so much. The way Johnny keeps the common spaces free of his things, how he seems to try to take up as little space as possible. Simon had thought he was just a tidy person at first, then let his insecurities make him think Johnny didn’t want to fully acclimate. He didn’t expect this.

“He likes livin’ with you,” Gary says, and Simon opens his eyes to find him smiling timidly. “He’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. He told Kyle and me that you two said you love each other. I believe it. He looks like he’s in love. I think the best gift you could give him is just to show him that he belongs. That the flat is his home too”.

Simon swallows, heart throbbing as he takes in Gary’s words.

No matter how many times he hears how Johnny feels about him, it always makes him feel like he’s on cloud nine. Although they’ve admitted their true feelings, they haven’t said the words ‘I love you’. If Johnny is thinking like he is, he probably realizes it’ll be real once they do. It’s ridiculous, seeing as they know they love each other, but there’ll be no denying it. Their future together, however long or short it is, will be set.

“He loves you Simon,” Gary says, looking much more resolute now that the blond doesn’t seem like he’s two seconds away from throttling him. “Just show him you love him too”.

Simon’s shoulders drop, the weight in his chest releasing. He’s right. He doesn’t need to go over the top to impress Johnny. He didn’t need to when they met, didn’t need to on their first date, and he certainly doesn’t need to do it now.

With all the expectation he placed on himself gone, Simon smiles, feeling more sure than he ever has.

“I know what to give him”.

*****

John’s eyes flutter open, the chill of the flat rousing him where it raises the flesh of his exposed back. He shakes his head fondly at the sight of Simon laying faced away in his arms, wrapped tightly in the blankets he’s stolen in the night. Careful to not wake his sleeping partner, he props himself up on one elbow, admiring his beautiful, lax face.

He can never seem to really get over how stunning Simon is with his soft, blond curls, his strong, slightly crooked nose, and his pretty, pale lashes. He’s never seen a more gorgeous person and it’s mind-blowing that he’s all John’s.

The sudden realization that he can easily see each of his perfect features has him panicking for half a moment as he glances at the sunlight filtering in through the curtains. He chuckles as he reminds himself that it’s Christmas and they have the day off.

They have tomorrow off too and even closed early yesterday afternoon. Nik and Price take Christmas very seriously, having hosted their annual party in the bakery for friends and family.

It was just what John needed, seeing as he missed his family’s Christmas party. He felt himself growing more and more excited as they prepared, baking special treats and hanging a few more decorations. There weren’t too many more people other than the team that came. Kate came with her wife, whom John hadn’t met yet as she isn't an early riser and prefers to catch a bit more sleep instead of coming to the bakery before work. She was just as kind as Kate, and took to John just as quickly. Some other regulars joined in the festivities too, as well as a few friends of Kyle and Gary’s that John had hung out with a few times. Farah and Alex hugged him in greeting and even seemed to recognize Simon from the couple times they’ve dropped by the bakery. It felt a little less lonely to realize he wasn’t the only one without anyone else to invite. Simon didn’t have any other people come and John made a mental note to make sure they both change that by next Christmas. If things went right, they’d have plenty of time to make friends together.

The party was great. They talked, laughed, drank, sang, and made some great memories. He and Simon kissed under the mistletoe, which brought on the blush he loves so much on Simon’s cheeks. The Brit didn’t seem too overwhelmed with it all, especially when John held his hand and kept him distracted with his awful renditions of various carols. He didn’t miss the adoring look in his eyes and he’s sure his own expression wasn’t any better.

John sighs happily at the memories of last night as he creeps out of the room. He bends to pick up Lady after softly clicking the door shut, carrying her to the kitchen to give her breakfast and start on his and Simon’s. It isn’t until the food’s nearly done that he hears the bedroom door open again.

“Simon, ye get back in that bed right now,” he commands, still determined to give him a proper breakfast in bed, despite the surprise being ruined. He hears a chuckle as the light to the bathroom clicks on.

“Gotta piss,” Simon replies, sleep rough voice making John’s stomach go a bit warm.

“Fine,” he concedes. “But ye better get right back in when ye’re done”.

He gets a mumbled affirmative and goes back to finishing the cooking. He turns the heat off the sausage and eggs, but doesn’t plate in until he hears Simon shuffle back to the bedroom. A few moments later he follows suit, a tray with two plates, coffee, and tea in his hands.

“Merry Christmas, love,” he sings, setting the tray on the nightstand and climbing back in bed. Simon smiles, letting him get settled before kissing him sweetly.

“Merry Christmas, Johnny,” he says, taking the tray when John hands it to him.

The Scot lets him start eating, nerves making it hard to do the same, but he pushes them aside as best he can and soon joins him. It isn’t much and they soon have clean dishes and mugs that he gets up to put in the sink. He allows Simon to follow him this time and the blond picks up Lady from where she’d joined them on the bed.

“Good mornin’, Princess,” he coos, petting her and kissing her head. She meows back, rubbing her head on his cheek. The three of them head to the sitting room, where a few wrapped parcels sit below their tree.

There’s an air of nervousness between them, and both men seem to silently agree to give Lady her gifts first. John opens up the string toy he’d gotten her, much more durable than the pitiful remnants of her current one. Simon gives her a few of her favorite treats from the large package he bought, and she seems quite content with all the attention she gets.

The whole affair takes very little time and soon they’re back to nervously glancing at each other. John takes a deep breath, holding Simon’s gift in his slightly sweaty hands.

“I, uh,” he starts, swallowing around the lump that’s formed in his throat. “I wasnae sure what ta get ye, ta be honest. Ye’re a little hard ta shop for, so I did end up askin’ Nik fer some advice”.

Simon nods with an adorable, crooked smile.

“Is that what you two were talkin’ about the other day?” he asks.

“Aye,” John answers, looking anxiously down at his gift. For a moment, he has the urge to change his mind. To hide it behind his back and tell him he'll get him something else, but he resists. As terrifying as this moment will be, if it goes right, and he thinks it will, it will be so worth it.

Before he can second guess anymore, he holds it out, heart pounding as Simon takes it. He watches with bated breath as he unwraps the box and opens it, pulling out the first item and turning it over on his hands, studying it.

“I made it,” John all but whispers, pulling the matching one out of his pocket. “I wanted ta give ye somethin’ ta show how much I care about ye. I promised Nik it was too soon fer rings, and I figured a bracelet is no’ too big a commitment”.

Simon’s gaze flicks between the two pieces of jewelry. John had braided strips of brown leather with thick blue thread for them both. As cliché as it seems, he wanted to represent the two of them entwined together and figured their eye color was a good choice. He tells Simon as much, feeling like it was a good idea when his eye get glossier and glossier.

“There’s more,” he urges, nodding to the box. Simon clears his throat, setting the bracelet on his thigh and looking inside again. John bites his lip in anticipation as he pulls out the second gift, this one just a piece of paper, but much more presumptuous than the last one.

“This one isn’t much of a gift,” he admits. “But I hope the sentiment will do”.

Simon’s brow scrunches in confusion as he reads it, looking up at John.

“I- I changed my major,” he says. “I’ve wanted ta study art fer so long, but was made ta feel like it was a waste of time. Ye made me realize it isn’t. Ye always make me feel like I can be myself, and I wanted ta share that with ye”.

Simon looks back down at the paper and John notices the slight tremble in his hands. He smiles, feeling more sure about this next part.

“I had ta put down a permanent address,” he continues and Simon snaps his head up. “I know I’m assumin’ a lot, but seein’ as how we’ve started datin’, I was hopin’ ye’d put up with me invadin’ yer space for a bit longer”.

Simon stares at him, eyes wide and body frozen. John grows concerned as the seconds tick by. He’d been so sure this was the right call.

Suddenly, Simon snatches up his own gift, a small box that fits nicely in his hand, and holds it out.

“Open it,” he says hoarsely. John takes it, tearing open the paper with shaky hands.

The concern he was feeling is instantly replaced with such an intense wave of relief, the wind is knocked out of him. John lets out a soft, incredulous sob, and his conversation with Nik, the conversation that has led him to this moment, comes flooding back.

“I told you once that this flat is a place for fresh starts,” Simon says, and John can hear him holding back tears too. “It gave me my life back. Gave me a new family. Gave me you”.

John shoulders drop, pure, unadulterated love filling his chest. Simon swallows, slowly reaching for his hand. John meets him halfway, gripping his with all his might.

“This is the key Nik and Price gave me when they found me,” Simon croaks, the tears brimming in his eyes. “It changed my life for the better, and I hope it does the same for you. I love you, Johnny. If you’ll have me, I’d like to spend the rest of my life showing you how much”.

Another sob tears out of John’s throat as he launches himself into Simon’s arms. His lover catches him, pulling him in so tight he can’t get a proper breath in, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t need to breathe, not when he knows he’ll always have Simon there. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. Everything he thought he’d never have just a month ago. He’d come here broken and scared, unsure if he’d ever make it on his own, much less find love again. He’d do it all over again. Go through all the heartbreak and pain if it meant meeting and having Simon.

When they finally part, he kisses him, presses all his love and care and happiness into Simon’s lips. His Simon. His sweet, perfect, beautiful Simon.

“I love ye,” he whispers between kisses. “I love ye so much, Si”.

Simon breathes out a small laugh, and John hears the wet rasp of it, finding the tears have finally fallen when he gets a proper look at his blissful face.

“You told Nik it was too soon for rings,” he muses. “But I think I all but proposed to you”.

John chuckles, releasing him so he can tie the bracelet onto his wrist.

“We’ll give it some time,” he says, taking his hand again when he finishes. “Dinnae wanna give them a heart attack”.

“With our timeline, I give it, what, three months?” Simon grins.

“Two,” John replies, only half joking. “Dinnae wanna wait too long”.

Chapter Text

The sound of laughter filters through the kitchen door to the front of the bakery. Price smiles at the now familiar, welcomed sound, heart warming as it always does when he hears it.

“Surprised those two get anything done when they’re together,” Kate muses, sipping her coffee. Price chuckles, wiping the counter in front of her.

“They’re good lads,” he says fondly. “Might get distracted easily, but they care about the work too much to really slack off”.

“Reminds me of you and Nik,” she replies, eyes going soft at the thought. “Was starting to think I wouldn’t get to see it for Simon”.

“So was I,” Price admits, sighing deeply as he leans against the counter. “I worried about him so much. Thought he was going to let life pass him by to protect his heart”.

“John's good for him,” Kate says, glancing at the door when another bark of laughter sounds from behind it. “He brings out the best in him”.

“They do that for each other,” Nik says from the window he’s cleaning. “The perfect pair”.

“Think they’ll last?” Kate asks, draining the last of her drink. Price takes her mug and fixes her another.

“Pretty sure one of them will propose soon,” he says, shaking his head and huffing out a laugh at Kate’s surprised look. “Think the only reason they haven’t is because we’ve insisted it’s too soon”.

“Oh, c’mon,” Kate grins. “They’ve been official for, what, over two months? That’s plenty of time”.

“Knew you wouldn’t be any help,” John sighs. Kate just shrugs.

“When it’s true love, you feel it,” she replies. “They have something that’s rare. I see me and my wife when I look at them. They’re in love, John and both of them have had so much heartache. It’s about time they find happiness”.

John grumbles, but can’t help but secretly agree. He knows they’re perfect for each other and he knows they’re in it for the long haul. He likes John and knows he does, and will continue to, make Simon very happy. He just worries.

“I think it’s going to happen soon,” Nik confides, lowering his voice as he joins them at the counter. “Simon asked me about our engagement again. He wouldn’t admit to anything, and I didn’t ask, but I think he’s planning on asking him soon”.

“Think they’ll want a big wedding?” Kate asks, eyes lighting up. “I mean, it’ll be pretty big with just John’s family, right?”.

“Not quite sure,” Price admits. “Haven’t met them yet”. Kate nods.

“Well, there’s time for that,” she says. “What about Simon? Has he met them?”.

“He was on the phone call with John’s mother when he told her about them,” Nik says. “He said it went well. She was surprised, but happy for them. Seems she did not approve of John’s last partner”.

Kate huffs, sipping her coffee with a knowing look.

“With what John’s told me about him, I’m not surprised,” she says, a glint in her eye. “Not to mention what I’ve found”.

John gives her a stern look, to which she merely shrugs again.

“Just making sure no one will come around causing trouble for the two of them,” she says. “Don’t think he will either. Not with how- busy- he seems to keep himself. How someone can keep so many relationships going at once, I have no idea. Not that he’ll have to worry about it much longer”.

John sighs, pinching between his eyes.

“Kate,” he groans. “What did you do?”. She raises her hands placatingly.

“I didn’t do anything illegal,” she says. “All the stuff I found was on different public social media pages. I just happen to know how to find more than most people- and I just nudged all the unsuspecting parties in the right direction to find the same public information. Nothing I did will be traced back to John either”.

Price sighs, but can’t hold back his incredulous chuckle.

“Glad I’m not on your bad side,” he says.

“Let the boys be dumb and in love and it’ll stay that way,” Kate replies smugly.

Price laughs and pushes off the counter as the door opens, the cold air bringing in more customers. As he continues the morning, taking orders and handing out pastries, his thoughts occasionally drift back to Simon and John who’ve long since returned to their flat upstairs after Kyle and Gary arrived.

It was just over 10 years ago that a scared, cold, teenage Simon stumbled into their lives. He hadn’t expected to become a parent and now he gets to watch the boy they raised find a love like he and Nik have. It’s a privilege to witness and, though he still worries they’re moving a bit too fast, he can’t deny that he believes in them.

“They’ll be alright,” Nik says, always seeming to know what he’s thinking. “We were, and we had many more challenges than they do”.

“I know,” Price hums, wrapping his arms around his husband in the currently empty bakery, Kyle and Gary working in the kitchen at the moment. “I just want him to have the best life”.

“He will,” Nik insists. “We’ve shown him how to give and accept love. Now he gets to practice what we taught him”.

“Think they’ll make it as long as us?” Price asks. Nik nods, stroking his side.

“Longer, I hope,” he says. “I hope they have decades and decades together”.

“I hope so too,” Price agrees. “They deserve it”.

His thoughts about them continue to cycle through his mind until they close up shop. He, Nik, Kyle, and Gary discuss the couple off and on throughout the shift, the two younger men apparently on the same page as he and Nik about the future of the pair. It’s as the four of them are finishing the end of day duties that John comes down to the kitchen for the first time since he and Simon ended their morning shift.

“We made extra fer dinner if ye’d like ta join us,” he offers. They agree, always pleasantly surprised when Simon feels like hosting. Something that’s become a bit more common as of recently.

They file up the stairs, the smell of various spices filling the air as they near the door. Lady welcomes them as always, demanding their attention the moment they walk in. Kyle picks her up, cradling her as he and Gary coo at her. Nik and Price walk to the kitchen, greeting Simon and offering their help.

“You’re guests,” Simon reminds them, as he always does when they come over for dinner. “Just go relax. Besides, I have help”. He beckons John over who shoos them out toward the sofas.

“They really are like an old married couple,” Kyle comments, as they watch them weave around each other like an intricate dance, anticipating each other’s needs like they’ve done this for years rather than a couple months.

“Pretty sure they’re soulmates,” Gary hums, smiling when Simon pauses what he’s doing to kiss John’s head.

Price can’t help but agree. They really do compliment each other. They’ve started building a good life together, what with John going back to school soon and Simon absolutely ecstatic to support and cheer him on. John won’t be leaving the bakery fully, intending to work the early shift before his afternoon classes. It’ll be another adjustment for Simon, but from conversations Price has had with him, he’s looking forward to the new chapter of their lives.

“They’ll make it,” Kyle says resolutely. “They’ll be insufferable though”.

The other three hum in agreement, but it’s in good fun. Truthfully, Price is happy to endure their puppy love if it means Simon getting everything he’s ever wanted. Love. Not just from a family, but one of his very own. Since his breakdown in the office all those weeks ago, Simon’s been much more forthcoming with him and Nik, and has even started seeing a therapist. His progress is slow going, given he still can’t seem to fully open up in his appointments, from what he’s told them, but it’s a step in the right direction for his healing, and all they could ask for.

“I think it’s sweet,” Gary says. “Never thought I’d see it for Simon”.

The conversation moves on from there into mundane topics as they continue watching the two work in their domestic bubble, seemingly unaware of the eyes on them. Eventually, they snap out of it enough to let them know the food is nearly ready. Simon disappears down the hall and John walks over, looking a bit nervous.

“Can I talk ta ye?” he asks Price and Nik. The two share a knowing look before nodding, standing to follow him out the door and down the stairs, glancing back to catch Kyle and Gary grinning after them.

John leads them to the bakery kitchen and stands by a counter, fidgeting with his sleeves.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” Price presses. If this is about what he thinks it is, he’s sure John is having trouble figuring out what to say.

“Aye,” John says, taking a deep breath and smiling sheepishly. “Sorry. I just- well, I ken this will seem impulsive and stupid, but- I wanted ta talk ta ye about Simon”.

The two older men wait, letting him collect his thoughts.

“As I hope ye know, I love Simon very much,” John starts, eyes imploring as he talks. “I’ve never been this happy with someone, and maybe I’m romanticizing it too much, but I can see spendin’ the rest of my life with him”.

He pauses, taking another deep breath. Nik and Price don’t say anything, letting him take his time.

“I want ta ask him ta marry me,” he says, determination evident in his voice. Price smiles, glancing over at Nik. “I ken it’s early. We don’ have ta get married right away, I just- I want ta show him how much I love him. He’s the most important thing in my life and I want him ta know just how precious he is ta me”.

Price feels the knot in his stomach loosen. The knot that’s been present since the day they took responsibility for Simon. The knot that’s held his worry and concern and love for his son. With each of John’s words, he feels the anxiety lessen and the love swell and he finally knows, without a doubt, that Simon will be okay.

“I still think it’s a bit early,” he says and he sees a flash of dejection cross John’s face. “But, I know you two are going to do what you want, and you should. It’s your lives and I know you love him. If this is what you two want, we’ll support you. All we want is for Simon to be happy, and you’ve given that to him”.

Nik nods, curling an arm around Price.

“We couldn’t ask for a better match for our boy,” he says. “You’re a godsend, son”.

John’s throat bobs, eyes shining, and chin wobbling at their blessing. Price smiles warmly, gently grasping his shoulder.

“Just take care of him,” he says softly.

“I will,” John breathes.

Price pulls him into a hug, the first proper one he’s given him. He feels the tension ooze out of the boy and a part of him feels guilty for making him worry even a little they wouldn’t approve.

“Let’s get back upstairs, yeah?” he says, clearing his throat and pulling back. John takes in a shaky breath, sniffing and swiping at his eyes.

“Aye,” he agrees. “Don’ need Si gettin’ anymore suspicious than I’m sure he already is”.

The three of them head back up the stairs, Nik walking with John and squeezing his arm encouragingly. Price watches them, heart warming at how their little family has continued to grow.

Simon indeed looks at them curiously when they return, but Nik steers the conversation away for the moment and they all sit at the table for dinner. Price looks round at them all, laughing and talking and so obviously happy. Eventually he catches Simon’s eye and smiles at him. Simon smiles back, open and real, far different than before when the ghosts of his past reflected in his eyes.

Sure, everything has changed drastically in such a short amount of time. Yes, by most standards, he and John’s relationship is moving quite quickly, but as he watches his son melt every time he looks at his partner he knows, this is a love that’s meant to last