Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Remy woke up; It was 8:00 and her alarm was going off, the annoying ringing sound echoing through her room. A beam of sunlight was intruding into her room, Making it nearly impossible for her to fall back asleep. She sighed as she sat up, smacking the alarm to stop the ringing. After the events of the previous night, she felt depleted and didn’t know whether she would have enough energy to get through the day.

She quickly got up, choosing her outfit for the day and giving it a once-over in the mirror. It was a simple outfit but it would have to do. She ran her hand through her hair, silently cursing herself for drinking too much the previous night; resulting in a pounding headache.

She wasn’t proud of her current lifestyle but it was the only way she knew how to cope, how to experience the wonders of the world before she would have to leave it behind.

However, her huntingtons was also the reason she was reluctant to get into any serious relationships— her time was limited and she didn’t want to dump the burden of taking care of her on anyone. After all, she had witnessed her mothers slow deterioration first hand and knew the adverse effects it would have on the people around her. She resented her mother for lashing out at her even though she couldn’t control it— to think that one day that will be her and anyone who cares enough to stay will either get hurt or end up resenting her.

She pushed her thoughts aside, no use worrying about the future now. Her time was running out either way and dwelling on the future was a bad way to spend her remaining time. She headed into the kitchen, grabbing a banana in hopes that it would alleviate her headache a bit. She took a few bites of the banana while getting into her car and starting to drive to Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital, mentally preparing herself for the exhausting work day ahead of her.

xxx

As she walked in the front entrance, she noticed a gorgeous blonde walking by. The blonde turned around, redirecting her gaze to Remy, giving her a small smile. The small gesture made Remy’s heart flutter, her cheeks tinged slightly pink. She looked quite familiar though Remy couldn’t remember her name. She tried to recall the Doctor’s name, hoping that she could start a conversation later.

She headed towards the elevators and grunted when it started closing— to her surprise however, the doors reopened, the same smiling blonde holding the button on the other side. She quickly strode in, muttering a quick “thank you” to the blonde. The blonde recognised her, introducing herself as Allison Cameron, one of House’s ex fellows. “Hey, you’re currently working for House right? Doctor.. Thirteen?”. Remy nodded, “Remy Hadley, nice to meet you”. She said, extending her right arm out for Dr Cameron to shake.

Before they could indulge in more friendly chit chat, the elevator beeped, the doors opening as it arrived at her floor. She lowered her head, slightly disappointed at the disruption concluding her conversation.

She quickly rushed to the differential diagnosis room, seeing Taub, Foreman, and Kutner upon entering. House redirected his gaze to her— raising an eyebrow as he did so. “Hello Thirteen!” he said in a lively tone, bringing all her coworkers' attention to her. “So, what happened? It seems like you are— twelve minutes late” he interrogated, pausing halfway to look at the clock. He stared intently, waiting for her answer. She knew that she had to think carefully about her reply as he would most definitely overanalyze whatever she said.

“Sorry I just had a late night and must’ve slept through my alarm” she said in a soft but convincing tone. It wasn’t quite the whole truth yet it wasn’t too far from the truth to the point that it would be considered a lie. She tried her best to look her boss in the eye despite her escalating nervousness building up inside of her, making her fidget with the side of her pants. As she noticed her boss’s eyes move down to her hands, she gave a small smile and moved her hands into her pockets.

House raised an eyebrow at her in a skeptical way to which she just smiled and shrugged. “Come on House let’s just focus on our patient," came Kutner’s voice, attempting to redirect the focus of the conversation. “But why? This is so much more intriguing," House replied to his employee. Thirteen agreed with Kutner and was desperate to get her boss off her case “He’s right, I don’t know what’s going on with our patient but if it’s your case, the patient is probably running out of time.”

House groaned in resignation, rolling his eyes at her desperation to get him to forget about it. “Fine— but don’t think this is the end of it; I’m just getting started.” She breathed a sigh of relief at this as she quickly sat down to avoid more attention being drawn to her— if that was even possible.

The differential diagnosis went by fast as they all pondered and discussed possible causes for the symptoms. It was certainly a puzzling series of symptoms, designed to baffle even the best of doctors. However, with the usual regime of them checking on the patient and House doing the actual diagnosing, they were able to solve yet another case.

By the time she was off work, it was late and she felt utterly exhausted. There was no way she would be able to drive home in this condition. She contemplated her next course of action— ending up deciding to head to the cafeteria to grab a coffee.

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When she finally reached the cafeteria, she quickly mumbled her order to the barista who gave her a quick smile and began making her drink. Usually, she wouldn’t mind a bit of conversation but right now she was too tired to even form a coherent sentence. She observed as the barista served the other customers, trying to mentally calculate how long her order would take.

As the barista handed her a decaf latte, she muttered a quick “thank you” and began to walk away, searching for an available booth. As her eyes scanned through the rows of booths, she noticed a familiar blonde looking her way; tacitly inviting her to sit with her. Remy beamed at her, revealing her perfect white teeth as she walked over to join her.

“Hey, looks like we get to finish our conversation after all," The blonde teased. Remy just gave a soft chuckle and took a sip of her coffee. “So Dr Cameron, why are you here so late?”. She asked, genuinely curious. “The ER was hectic today, a new motorway accident caused lots of injuries. “So, how about you? Tell me about your day," the blonde looked at her expectantly as she awaited her reply.

She told Dr Cameron all about her day and how House interrogated her in the morning. “I certainly don’t miss that side of working for House," she snickered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Despite knowing that the gorgeous doctor in front of her was straight, she couldn’t help but blush slightly as she noticed how opulent her hair seemed; adorned by the moonlight. The blonde doctor noticed her staring, feigning surprise at her admiring gaze. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest. “By the way you’re looking at me, I can’t help but think you might be into me.” As she joked around, Remy’s cheeks had become noticeably redder.

At her comment, Remy could feel her cheeks burning as they tinged pink with embarrassment. She hoped the ground would open up and swallow her whole. “Relax, I’m only joking” the other doctor reassured her while taking a bite of her muffin. “Buttt-” She continued, chewing her food before finishing “Now that I’m not with Chase anymore, I think I might explore more options”. As the other doctor opened up to her, she felt a pang of excitement rush through her, hope filled her heart, refueling her deep-rooted, searing desire for the other doctor.

Allison gave a small smirk as she winked at Remy. As she did this, she noticed Remy bite her lip as she attempted to suppress a smile. Remy’s stomach filled to the brim with butterflies, her heart fluttering; missing a beat as Allison teased her. ‘No, Remy’, she scolded herself mentally, ‘You can’t do this to her, you know— with her history of marrying a dying man’

As her exhaustion caught up with her, she let out a yawn which made the other doctor giggle. “Looks like someone’s tired”.

Before she knew it, the blonde had invited her to stay at her place. Not having the energy to refuse, she had grabbed her stuff as she stood up from the seat, looking back to make sure that nothing fell out of her bag.

xxx

“Ughh can’t you walk any faster?” Cameron groaned as they walked through the empty parking lot, side by side as they headed to the white convertible. Remy shifted her gaze to Cameron, attempting to come up with a smart remark “Couldn’t you park any closer?” It was quite mediocre compared to some of the other things she had come up with before but it would have to do.

Before they knew it, they were both laughing as they hurled insults at each other. Their sense of humour ended up being quite similar so they knew exactly how to make each other laugh without going too far. However, once they got in the car, the conversation ended up getting really personal.

“So, how did you know you were bi?” Cameron asked, holding her breath as she awaited the answer. She hoped that Remy’s reply would tell her all she needed to know, and help her figure out if that was also the case for her. She felt some kind of special connection between her and the brunette that was certainly undeniable; She wasn’t sure if the brunette reciprocated her feelings though.

To say that question caught Remy off guard was an understatement. It surprised her so much her jaw was practically on the floor, mouth dropping instantly as soon as she heard the question. When she finally recomposed herself, she took a deep breath while formulating her answer, not wanting to get too personal. “Well, I kind of always knew but the moment I got confirmation was in high school— I developed a crush on this girl I was friends with and we ended up kissing. That experience was phenomenal; I had kissed many guys before but nothing compared to that. I’m still attracted to guys now but I just have a preference for women.” As she finished her revelation, she sighed, the memory lingering in her mind.

Allison debated telling her the truth about why she had asked in the first place; as she was about to, the music changed. The moment was over and Allison sighed, pressing her head into the headrest. Remy noticed this odd behaviour but figured she wouldn’t say anything in case it made Allison uncomfortable.

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The rest of the car ride was quiet. Allison was too focused on driving to start a conversation and Remy didn’t want to pry too far into Allison’s business in case she would offend Allison. Thoughts raced through her mind, her brain searching for reasons other than the obvious Allison would ask her something like that. Maybe she was curious? After all, a lot of people had asked her about her bisexuality. No matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, she felt this nagging feeling, telling her to help her friend through this.

As they pulled into the driveway of her apartment, Allison looked at the brunette beside her; The brunette had fallen asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly. Allison couldn’t help but admire how cute she looked when she slept, the peacefulness written on her face. She didn’t want to wake her up but it was certainly better than the alternative of letting her sleep in the car.

“Remy,” she whispered softly, “Remy wake up we’re here.” The brunette’s eyes fluttered open and she stirred as her surroundings came back into focus. “What time is it?” the brunette asked, letting out a yawn after. “It’s almost one in the morning.” Allison replied, glancing at her watch to check. “Come on, you’ll be much comfier on my bed— Here, I’ll even help you inside.” Allison didn’t show it to Remy but she was also exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. Remy agreed almost immediately and the two stumbled inside together, the taller brunette leaning on the shorter blonde.

Allison led Remy to the couch. “You can make yourself comfortable here for a bit while I go get some pajamas for you, that alright?” Remy nodded as she adjusted a pillow behind her. She watched as Allison walked off, disappearing through the hallway.

She turned into her bedroom, pulling open the wide array of clothes. She dug through her closet until she found something that would suit Remy. She looked through the variety of pajamas and picked out a striped pair, slightly too big for her. She clutched her selection, walking over to Remy and handing her the pajamas as if it were an offering.

“These should fit you,” Allison said, smiling while handing the pajamas to Remy. Remy smiled back as she accepted the clothes, thanking her quickly before standing up. “Where can I get changed?” she asked Allison, remembering she didn’t know the layout of Allison's apartment.

“Oh shoot I’m so sorry I must’ve forgotten,” Allison replied. “Here I’ll take you on a tour,” Allison motioned for Remy to follow her. The two made their way through the blonde’s apartment; the cleanliness of the place leaving Remy taken aback.

Soon, they had gone through almost every room, leaving just one more. The last room they entered was the blonde’s room. As they entered, the first thing Remy spotted was a queen-sized bed, leaning against the wall. “So, what do you think?” Cameron asked Remy. “It’s nice,” Remy replied. “So now that you know where the bathroom is, you can go get changed in there.” Remy nodded at her suggestion and headed to the bathroom.

As she undressed, she noticed a small spot of blood on her scrub pants. “sh*t” she cursed under her breath, blaming herself for having forgotten. She internally panicked, not knowing what to do. “Uhm Cam,” she called out. “Yeah?” came her reply. “I just started my period,” Remy told her, biting her bottom lip after. “Oh um products are in the bottom drawer,” Allison responded “I can go to the pharmacy nearby and get a pair of underwear if you need.” “That would be helpful, thanks!” Remy said, half occupied with getting herself cleaned up.

A while later there was a knock on the door. “Remy? I got the stuff,” Allison told her, leaving after placing the stuff on the floor. Remy opened the door and took the stuff inside, quickly getting changed and exiting the bathroom. As she grabbed the basket to return to Cameron, she noticed a bar of chocolate placed to the side. She blushed at Cameron’s thoughtfulness, fantasizing about what it would be like to have her as a roommate.

As she came out of the bathroom, she noticed Cameron asleep on the couch. “Cam?” She whispered, “Why don’t you take the bed? I can sleep on the couch it’s fine.” Allison replied, still groggy from being awoken, “Don’t be silly Remy, you need the rest,” before Allison could argue any more, she felt a pair of strong arms carry her to bed. “Hey! What was that for?” She kicked and pouted as she complained. “We can both sleep on the bed, if you want I’ll make a barrier in the middle using pillows.”

After Cameron objected to the proposal of a barrier, they both ended up sharing a bed. They kept turning to look at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking; they ended up meeting eyes a few times during the night.

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In the middle of the night, Remy was woken by a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. She winced as she repositioned herself to sit up, propping herself against the headboard. She felt like she was getting stabbed repeatedly and the pain was gradually getting more unbearable. She placed her hand over her stomach where the pain was coming from, gently massaging it by rubbing circles and applying slight pressure to the aching spot.

Remy had tried to deal with it herself just in case it was minor and she would end up falling asleep before she even knew it. However, it had been ten minutes and the pain wasn’t getting any better so she had decided to wake Cameron up.

“Mmm?” Cameron said groggily, turning around to face her. She then noticed Remy hunched against the headboard clutching her stomach. “You okay?” She asked, concern etched across her face. “I have cramps,” Remy said, avoiding her gaze. Cameron also sat up, “Is it bad?” She asked, placing her hand on Remy’s lower abdomen and rubbing it. Remy nodded. “I’ll go get some painkillers and a hot water bottle,” Cameron told her as she pushed herself off the bed and headed to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, Cameron returned, placing the hot water bottle on her lower abdomen and handing her the rest of the items. “Take these pills,” she directed, picking up the glass of water to give to Remy. Remy swallowed the pills desperately and laid down, clutching the hot water bottle to her abdomen.

As the night went on, Remy’s cramps eased and they both fell back asleep. The night passed with both of them sound asleep until the morning light started flooding their room.

xxx

Cameron’s eyelashes fluttered a few times as she woke up, glancing at the clock that read 10:34. When she tried to get up, she realised that her arm was wrapped around Remy’s waist; protecting her as she slept. She let out a yawn as she sat up slowly, lifting her arm carefully. She then got up and headed to the bathroom— being careful not to wake Remy as she did so.

A few minutes later, Remy awoke from her slumber. She looked to her side and noticed Cam was gone, disappointment filling her eyes. She slowly got up, grasping the not so hot hot water bottle as she did so. She scanned the bed, making sure she hadn’t leaked on the blonde’s bed. ‘Okay, I’m good,’ she thought to herself as she examined the pristine white sheets where she had slept.

After using the bathroom and doing her morning routine, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Unsurprisingly, her hair was slightly disheveled since she had a habit of tossing and turning in her sleep. She quickly ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to comb through it — making a mental note to take a shower later as she did so.

She came out of the bathroom still holding the hot water bottle, her eyes surveyed the different rooms until she spotted the other doctor in the kitchen. “Oh good, Remy you’re awake,” the blonde smiled, munching on a piece of buttered toast as she spoke. “Sorry I don’t have much in the fridge right now but I can pop some bread in the toaster for you if you’d like,” Cam offered, still in the middle of devouring her breakfast. “I might just take you up on that offer,” Remy replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

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As Allison prepared the toast and started the coffee machine, Remy rested on the couch. “Hey, what should I do with this hot water bottle? I’ve already emptied it,” Remy asked her while fidgeting with the tv remote, switching through different channels until she found an interesting one. “Just put it on the table I’ll put it back later,” Allison’s voice echoed from the kitchen in response. Remy really wanted to be of more help but knew that Allison was just trying to be a good host to her. She sighed, placing the hot water bag on the table.

Remy tried to focus on the tv, however, she found herself fidgeting every few minutes, her eyes drawn to the gorgeous blonde with the striking blue eyes— noticing the way she gracefully sauntered around the house. The events of the previous night hadn’t helped with her attraction towards the blonde at all; if anything, it had intensified her current feelings. She knew that it was cruel to hope that the blonde reciprocated her feelings, but she couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach whenever she was around, they were just too overwhelming.

She wished that the feelings would subside, even though deep down she knew it wouldn’t be that simple, it never was.

Xxx

There was a nagging feeling in Remy’s gut, every passing minute making her feel more uneasy. She stuffed her belongings into her bag, knowing she couldn’t stay any longer. Cameron probably wouldn’t want her to stay too long anyway, it was for the best. She sighed as her vision went blurry and the air around her thickened— why was this so hard? She’s had multiple one night stands before so it wasn’t that she had no experience packing up and leaving. “How ironic,” she thought to herself, the one woman she doesn’t sleep with is the one she actually cares for.

“Okay, just suck it up and get it over with,” she repeated, hands trembling. She needed to stop being such a coward, Cameron could be home any minute now. She clenched her jaw, placing the letter on the older woman’s bedside table right in front of the clock. The piece of paper was folded neatly into thirds, with a loopy “Thank you” on the back. The other side was way less fancy, with subtle tear stains that Remy hoped would completely fade by the time Cameron found it. She had tried to hide her true feelings while writing, only thanking her for the stay and saying that she should get home.

As soon as she stepped out, the wind whipped her hair around as if it were taunting her. She stuffed her hand in her jacket pocket, rummaging around for a hair tie. Her whole body stiffened, just her luck— of course she wouldn’t have any. She was always losing hair ties, using them and forgetting to replace them after. “Whatever” she mumbled to herself, it wouldn’t be long until a cab pulled up, she would just have to wait it out until then.

Xxx

After a few minutes, the breeze gradually abated. As if on cue, right when she put her phone away a cab pulled up right in front of where she was standing. She quickly raised her hand before someone else did; thankfully beating everyone to it. “Well at least something is going my way,” she thought to herself whilst pulling the door open and throwing the driver a polite smile. The driver smiled back warmly as if to welcome her on board and then proceeded to ask her for the location. Remy recited her address to the driver and he nodded, beginning to type that into the GPS. As Remy was half-occupied with her phone the whole ride, the driver assumed she wasn’t in the mood for talking. It was a peaceful ride as he didn’t try to make conversation with her— instead giving her space.

When the car finally pulled up around the block, Remy thanked the driver for the ride, handing him a $20 note. The driver simply nodded and waved goodbye to her. She opened the door and stepped out, breathing in a breath of fresh air and beginning to walk to her actual address.

There was a wroosh sound as a car sped by, she just sighed and kept walking— her apartment complex was quite close anyways. Why was she always so paranoid? Things would be so much easier if she could just trust people. Sure the fake address was just a precaution, but it wasn’t likely she would get stalked anyway. She tried to push the thoughts aside, turning the corner as her apartment came into view.

She sifted through her bag, digging through to find her keys. After a minute, she grinned as she emerged victorious with the precious item in hand. She pushed it into the keyhole, twisting a few times before it gave way. Gently pushing the door open, she stepped in. She examined the state of her apartment, realizing it was worse than she remembered. She tucked her lips in and turned back around, shutting and locking the front door to seal herself in.

She slid down the door, knees giving way as she fell. She just tucked them into her chest, curling up into a ball like she always did for comfort. She buried her head in her hands, trying to ignore the stinging sensation building up in her eyes. Everything she had tried so hard to avoid: every feeling, every uncomfortable truth; everything she had ever wanted to hide from, had come back to haunt her. And all that she wanted in that moment— was to be held by Allison Cameron.

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Cameron walked through the door of her apartment. “Remy?” she called out. No response. “That’s strange,” she muttered to herself apprehensively. Before she knew what she was doing, she had already called the woman multiple times. No answer. She walked around her apartment absent-mindedly in hopes that Remy would’ve at least given her some kind of indication on why she left.

She paced around her bedroom multiple times before she noticed a piece of paper on the bedside. How could she have missed it? Why did she have to always leave random stuff lying around? No. This wasn’t a good time, she reminded herself. She needed to focus on the situation at hand — finding out why her friend had left so suddenly.

The elegant “thank you” on the back was what had first caught her eye. She flipped it around to check for important information; there was nothing. With her heart thumping heavily in her chest, she unfolded it and slowly began to read.

Xxx

She had skimmed over the page what felt like a thousand times. This couldn’t be all to the story could it? If it really was that simple, she could’ve just asked for a ride instead of just disappearing. Even though the letter reassured her not to worry, she still had a gut feeling telling her that something wasn’t quite right.

The phone rang three times before Cuddy picked up. “Hello? Is everything alright Dr Cameron?” came the voice from the other end. Cameron’s voice shook as she answered, “I don’t know, I was just wondering if you knew where Dr Hadley’s apartment was? I’m a bit worried about her.” There was a pause before Cuddy finally answered. “I’m really sorry Dr Cameron, I can tell you really care for your friend but I’m not allowed to give you personal information about other staff. I really hope you understand.”

Cameron assumed that would be the answer despite really hoping otherwise. She hung up and dropped her phone gently against the carpet. Her hands automatically went to comb through her hair while she tried to figure out what she could do. If there was one thing she knew about Remy, it was that the woman liked her privacy. If she were to invade that privacy, there’s no telling how she would react. She would have to wait for Remy to make the first move.

Xxx

Remy sniffled as another tear fell down her face, now red and puffy. She took a deep breath in an attempt to steady her breathing. Her chest rose and fell as she pursed her lips to draw in air. Synapses fired all throughout her body — alleviating the pain she was feeling for a brief moment. It had been what had felt like an hour. Her cheeks burned, though that was nothing compared to the radiating pain in her head. Her brain was practically begging for water in several different ways — torturing her until she couldn’t fight any longer. Eventually, she had given in to her need to rehydrate and pushed herself up, heading towards the kitchen.

She downed a glass of lukewarm water that she had filled with water from the tap. It actually wasn’t too bad. Maybe it was like those stories she had heard from her years of medical school where people stranded somewhere were so desperate for food, anything tasted good. Once they got home though, they would’ve gagged eating the same food — critiquing its every detail. It wasn’t like she never drank tap water before, it just wasn’t her favourite. In this instant, tap water was the fastest and she desperately needed a fix. Her eyes were drier than the Sahara desert and actively stung like they had been attacked by a swarm of irate wasps. She fumbled through her bag for eyedrops when the water did an inept job at alleviating this misery.

Along with the small, capped white bottle; there lay a mobile phone, the same shade of white. She picked up the bottle first, twisting the cap off with her index finger and raising it to her eye. She squeezed it until she felt the refreshment of the burning cold sensation. Her vision blurred for a few seconds before she successfully blinked it in. She exhaled in relief, setting the bottle back down.

Without really thinking, she curled her fingers around her phone, bringing it in front of her face. With a ding it unlocked, the familiar icons springing into place. She caught a glimpse of the time: 3:26. “That’s not too bad,” she thought to herself. Then, her eyes flickered down to the bottom of the screen, taking notice of the vibrant green icon with the tiny number “5” in a red box. She clicked on it, curious. There at the very top: 5 missed calls from Allison Cameron with her name in a similar shade of red.

She swiped out of the app, instead clicking on a different app with a giant white speech bubble. She tapped the first contact, reading over her distressed texts. The first read, “Are you okay?” The second, “Did I do something wrong?” Followed by a chain of other questions and concerned texts. She threw her head back, the guilt eating at her from the inside. It formed an endless hollow pit in her gut, draining every leftover sliver of hope she had kept locked up for all these years. She knew what the logical thing to do was — leave a generic reply that still seemed somewhat genuine. Her fingers flew around the keyboard, darting around for a few seconds before ultimately stopping on the little ‘x’ in the corner.

With a press of a button, the screen plunged into darkness, accompanied by a ‘click’.