Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gardening.

It was never something Shadow Milk Cookie would have considered his thing. Even back when he was still roaming the world as the Fount of Knowledge, he merely enjoyed the knowing of it all rather than the doing. But if that weren’t the case regarding most of his recent hobbies, it would argue against the cookie he’d become in recent years.

And it was all thanks to him. Pure Vanilla Cookie. Someone he wanted to first drag down with him, then smite off the face of Earthbread. As time passed though, Shadow Milk reflected. His anger and rage directed at the world softened, a deeper understanding coming from it.

He was still hurt, of course, but even Pure Vanilla Cookie, the cookie he swore up and down made him enraged, being the epitome of what he loathed about Earthbread, became more of a friend. A companion. Someone who understood him. Someone who put everything into perspective. That the world didn’t need to bend to the despair he had bestowed upon it.

All that coming from the cookie that knew just as much as Shadow Milk did, the raw unbearable knowledge of the reality of this world? It took time, but eventually… he saw goodness again.

Now he was lucky to call that same cookie his husband.

The Vanilla Kingdom was hardly what it once was, at least from what Shadow Milk could tell from the books and murals dotted around the castle he and Pure Vanilla resided in. It was relatively barren, few citizens outside of a few small villages. Shadow Milk found the lack of an audience a tad boring, but with time he came to appreciate the quiet. Especially when the world became too overwhelming.

Moments like this, for one, were greatly appreciated.

Snapdragons were a flower Shadow Milk had always enjoyed. They held much meaning, stretching from deceit to strength. To him he appreciated their nuance.

They also just looked really cool when they died and shriveled up. Like skulls. Sick.

He laid outstretched, hovering while he trimmed the extra leaves off the stems of the snapdragons. The air was humid but not uncomfortably so. That was alleviated by the opened window opposite the room from him, allowing a slight draft in to balance it out. Pure Vanilla stood across the greenhouse closer to said window, tilting a watering can, watering his lilies.

“Tomorrow I’ll be leaving for the Creme Republic. You remember that, right?” Pure Vanilla said.

“Yeah. Can’t believe it’s that time of year again.” Shadow Milk groaned, outstretching his arms with clippers in hand. It was only once every calendar year, around this same time, representatives from every nation would join together and discuss the current state of Earthbread. Shadow Milk held a particular disdain for them. Pure Vanilla would be gone for several days.

“My offer still stands. You and I both know Eternal Sugar Cookie doesn’t exactly hide the fact she’s been tagging along with Hollyberry, cookies won’t judge if you come.” A lie, maybe not intentionally but there nonetheless. It was only him and the former beast of Sloth that had remained so intricately with the rest of cookie kind. Though it didn’t make them particularly liked.

The other three beasts weren’t exactly in any sort of spotlight like they were. Mystic Flour Cookie kept her reign to her own lands, having mellowed out, Burning Spice Cookie was off exploring with other cookies parts of Earth Bread unseen, seemingly keeping the world changing to satiate the urge to destroy what was always there, and Silent Salt, while no longer a threat, was somewhere unbeknownst to… almost everyone.

That left him and Eternal Sugar. They were friends, having grown closer since their personal redemptions. But he could never quite understand the level of continued infatuation (love, sure, but there were parts of it that still made Shadow Milk raise an eyebrow) Eternal Sugar held for Hollyberry.

Not that he didn’t enjoy their company. The two of them were rather close with him and Pure Vanilla nowadays. It wasn’t an odd occurrence for them to receive an invitation to yet another party hosted by the royal Hollyberryian family in their respective kingdom.

Shadow Milk Cookie couldn’t hide his disdain. “I can exist without you for a few days, but it doesn’t mean I won’t complain about it. Plus, I still feel as if some of them… y’know. I get they don’t have to forgive me it’s just…”

“That’s fair.” Pure Vanilla placed the watering can down, walking over to Shadow Milk, “That reminds me, when White Lily was here yesterday she and I were discussing some things. She… found something fascinating within the Faerie Kingdom’s scrolls.” Ah. Of course he remembered to bring that up after mentioning cookies that wouldn’t forgive him. It was awkward, Pure Vanilla being such good friends with White Lily Cookie when Shadow Milk and her still had their… differences.

“If it’s within the Faerie Kingdom, chances are I already know, genius.” Shadow Milk curved his head around, much like an owl. Staring Pure Vanilla dead in the face he only got a frown in reply. “Okay fine.” He said, cocking an eyebrow. “What whimsical knowledge did she have to share with you?”

“Well, you know how we’ve been talking about adding another cookie to our family?” Pure Vanilla began.

“Having a kid? Yeah, I do recall,” Shadow Milk mumbled. The conversation had been going on between the two of them for several months now. Pure Vanilla had mentioned it first, suggesting the idea of expanding their family, to which Shadow Milk initially laughed at him and told him it was a terrible idea.

But over time, Shadow Milk had pondered it in his mind. A cookie the ultimate blend of himself and Pure Vanilla? It sounded ridiculous, almost too powerful. The thought was cute though, a small cookie with blonde hair like Pure Vanilla’s and blue mismatched eyes like Shadow Milk’s…

The idea of a child seemed more and more fascinating with each passing day. Such clueless creatures, ones that were malleable. Something about that innocence made Shadow Milk’s heart swell with a feeling he couldn’t quite put into words.

So he’d brought it up again, apologizing and reconciling that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. That didn’t account for the truth they quickly realized, what with their split essence. “Darling, I thought we’d already figured out it was-”

“Impossible? It’s not.” Shadow Milk’s eyes widened, his body snapping around to process what had just been said. Pure Vanilla continued. “White Lily Cookie believes there’s a method of baking a baby that would be possible with… combining our Soul Jams, much like we did all those years ago.”

“Combining our Soul Jams?” The clown raised an eyebrow, settling onto his feet. Floating made them equal in height, but it felt too casual. Even though he now towered above the vanilla cookie, it indicated his attentiveness to what was being discussed.

Previously he’d used that difference in height to his advantage, Witches those memories made him feel nauseous now. Shadow Milk had long since given up on that. Now he only stood like this if there was something important being discussed – like now.

“Yes, combining them.” The process itself wasn’t… difficult. But what it required of the two of them was something they didn’t exactly jump at the chance to do.

It was essentially being in each other’s bodies. At the same time. Combining their Soul Jams was combining their entire beings, even if just for a moment. Every thought they had, all their memories, they could see it.

That was how Pure Vanilla had learned the truth about Shadow Milk when they first faced down. He’d reached into his deepest thoughts and found the loneliness he never had wanted to face. Loneliness he immediately called out, seemingly taunted. Loneliness that Shadow Milk later accepted and embraced, alongside Pure Vanilla.

He continued. “Lily told me of a certain Faerie spell crafted from those with half lives, similar to us. Those with essences that were scarred. We can splinter off a part of our Soul Jam’s combined power into another cookie.” Pure Vanilla fidgeted with his hands, “However, there’s a downside with it. There’s… not exactly dough involved, not in a traditional sense.”

“No bake?” Shadow Milk tilted his head.

“Not quite.” He sighed. “One of us… would take on the splintered part of our Soul Jams, and grow the baby… inside ourself.”

“Pregnancy, huh? Of course we can’t do this like normal cookies,” the former beast creased his eyebrows, “Cookies only put themselves through that if they don’t have access to baking ingredients. Or if they just want to do it.”

“Yes. It would appear… it’s our only option.” Pure Vanilla said. “I’m not opposed to it. I’d be fine carrying them.” Them. Already personifying someone who merely stood as a concept.

Shadow Milk stood still now, thinking. It was nearly unheard of. And to think that was their only method? A far more intricate one it seemed. Usually it took more of a tango to create a pregnancy, but combining their Soul Jams?

He thought. He thought for a long moment. Pure Vanilla clearly had grown lost on how to continue the conversation. He’d seemed so sure about going through with the pregnancy part… but Shadow Milk wasn’t certain his heart could stand seeing the cookie go through that. Not after what he’d already witnessed him suffer at his own hand. Truthless Recluse, the product of all Shadow Milk had convinced Pure Vanilla he was, had been the cookie’s lowest point. Shadow Milk had orchestrated that, even if unintentionally. It felt selfish to expect something like this out of him. To ask Pure Vanilla to sacrifice his body to something that was hardly heard of amongst cookie kind.

Shadow Milk stood straight. “I’ll do it.” Shadow Milk had created monsters and atrocities that ruined those around him. Maybe now he could create something different. Better. The thought made his heart race, but he ignored it.

“You’ll- what?” Pure Vanilla seemed surprised by that. Did he really expect…

“I said I’ll do it. I know the process. Won’t be a walk in the park but I know what to expect.” Shadow Milk crossed his arms, his face displaying the same expression.

“Shami, with so much love you’re…” Pure Vanilla trailed off. “You’re dramatic, which I do love, but don’t you think I’d handle it-”

“You have duties to attend to around the world. I simply stay around this kingdom doing my own thing. It’s logical. I’ll cope.” He levitated, his legs finally limping as he laid on his side. “I’d like to see you try changing my mind.” A playful demeanor smeared into his previously blank attitude. Pure Vanilla raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing.

But he simply sighed and shook his head, smiling.

“I won’t be able to talk you out of it, won’t I?” Pure Vanilla said. “You should still sleep on it. If that is what you wish… I suppose… I’ll send to White Lily for those scrolls.”

Chapter Text

He was cushioned by the comforter beneath him where he sat. The beginnings of soft moonlight slipped its way into the bedroom, casting blue shadows only hushed by the candle light of the castle. Pure Vanilla was certain of what was to come, but that didn’t make the swirling in his stomach any less present, or the air any less stifled despite the cracked balcony door.

Shadow Milk sat directly beside him, hands clenched tightly together in his lap. There’d been many talks since the initial discussion of Shadow Milk carrying their potential child. Pure Vanilla had tried a handful of times to talk him out of it, suggesting that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to rethink.

Shadow Milk Cookie was stubborn, though. He wouldn’t budge.

And so they pushed forward.

“Do you remember when we did it back then?” Shadow Milk cut through his thoughts. Pure Vanilla hummed and turned to look at his partner.

He tilted his head slightly. “Yeah, super disorienting. I… didn’t know who I was for a moment.”

“You’re certain you want to do that again?” The taller cookie cracked his knuckles anxiously, “I don’t want you to do this if you’re not… comfortable with it.”

“No, no. I’m okay with it.” Pure Vanilla said, “Maybe we should have a safe word if it gets too much?”

Shadow Milk leaned back, considering his words. He then nodded. “Okay, yeah, that works for me.”

“Excellent. Would ‘honeysuckle’ do?” The former king asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s just…” Shadow Milk took Pure Vanilla’s hands, “Let’s go ahead and do it? Stop demising over it and get through the hard part.”

“You know this will certainly not be the ‘hard part’ for you,” Pure Vanilla raised Shadow Milk’s hands to plant a kiss on them.

“Oh, right, of course, how could I forget.” He grabbed the transcribed scroll. The spell itself was complicated, something the Witches had seemingly asked the Faeries to compose to assist in sealing the Beasts years before. The song was meant to split the Soul Jam. To scatter the rest of their power across Earthbread. But what he held was an edited version, diluted to only do a fraction and nothing more. Something that wouldn’t affect them too heavily in the long run, but would in fact still splinter the magic. Splinter into an offspring.

What that would mean for a potential child was unknown, but combining it with more modern medical magic, they would be able to implant the spark in Shadow Milk’s dough. Hence, the pregnancy itself.

Pure Vanilla had rehearsed the incantations to himself at least a dozen times at this point. He’d memorized all the pages held. He wanted to get it right.

He stared at the blob of Shadow Milk beside him, lifting his hands to trace his Soul Jam. He’d abandoned his staff to the edge of the room, deciding to opt out of his visual clarity for this task. Something as simple as finding Shadow Milk’s features was far simpler now than it’d been years ago. He’d memorized every part of Shadow Milk’s body. “You ready?”

“Don’t think I’d say no now, would you?” Shadow Milk said. Pure Vanilla chuckled at that.

“Alright. Let’s begin.”

-

Shadow Milk hadn’t left their bed all morning. Pure Vanilla knew trying to conceive wouldn’t be easy, but the former beast refused to even admit now what it could potentially be. It’d been roughly eight and a half months since they began trying, and thus far it had been… unsuccessful.

They still knew the symptoms. The breakfast Pure Vanilla had brought Shadow Milk nearly caused him to throw up what was hardly even there. What had followed was a ravage complaint from Shadow Milk about how strongly the waffles had smelled.

There was also… the back aches Shadow Milk had complained about, the several times he’d forgotten about little things Pure Vanilla had asked him to do. A few nights ago, the clown had even put on a show to complain about how his breasts had felt pained, too. Pure Vanilla had stared for several moments too long, staff clenched tightly in hand (as if that would make his eyes focus more, not like his staff was the only reason everything wasn’t such a blur in the first place). They were, or at the very least in his eyes, seemed… bigger. Which when they started off as small as they were, was noticeable.

Even if Shadow Milk himself hadn’t mentioned it.

“I’m not an idiot, Nilly.” Shadow Milk was curled up in a disheveled little ball, arms wrapped tightly around his middle section, “You can’t be too sure though, can you?”

“Oh, darling…” Pure Vanilla had suspicions for a little while, that Shadow Milk wasn’t taking this well. Five times they’d attempted, and nothing stuck. In discussions with healers and even Strawberry Crepe Cookie, who analyzed their dough… it seemed as if it was harder for Shadow Milk to carry in the first place. His own dough was rather weak, which when Pure Vanilla heard those words said to them… unfortunately made a lot of things about Shadow Milk make sense.

He was stubborn, though. Oh so stubborn. He refused to budge on carrying the baby, and so they kept trying. It seemed just performing spells like that had this sort of side effect on Shadow Milk. Making him lethargic. Even Pure Vanilla had felt some of his power flickering, but he hardly paid it any mind.

Shadow Milk, though, for his credit, wasn’t pulling out grand theatrics to broadcast how his body had been swept by all of this. Just groans about being tired and feeling hungry yet empty all at once. However, this had lasted longer than before. Far longer. And accompanied with the other symptoms, which were far more prominent now? It had been nearly two months since the last attempt at the implantation spell.

“Don’t you see, though?” Pure Vanilla said, “You’re fretting over something that either is good news or something that should get checked out.”

The former beast rolled over, letting his nightwear get ruffled within the blankets he stowed himself in. An exhausted blink flashed at Pure Vanilla.

“If you’re sick then it means we shouldn’t travel to the Hollyberry Kingdom. And we’re supposed to leave for there in just a few days.” They’d been invited a few weeks prior to an anniversary dinner for Princess Cookie and Knight Cookie. Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk had enthusiastically agreed, taking it as an opportunity to catch up with old friends.

“I’d rather rot.” Shadow Milk buried his face into the palm of his hands.

“You don’t mean that.” Pure Vanilla sat down beside him, sweeping away some of his hair to uncover his ear. “Can I at least check?”

Shadow Milk mumbled something hardly intelligible into his fists before finally sitting up. “... you can check.”

“I can show you how, if you’d like. So you don’t have to ask again, or worry so much. I’ve read plenty about it-”

“You forget who you married, again..? I know how to.”

“So why not check for yourself?”

Shadow Milk’s eyes clouded. He shifted his hands to sit in his lap. “I… I have before. But not this time, not yet.” There was an uncertain glance down at his lap. “I used to just… know. The first two times I just knew it hadn’t worked. Then the third time, when I was so certain because I felt different.”

Pure Vanilla settled his staff along the side of their bed and reached for Shadow Milk’s hands.

“It was nothing. I was wrong. When the healers checked I was so wrong…” The hands Pure Vanilla had taken tightened in a grip around his own. Shadow Milk was merely a blur now, but the blue blob leaned forward.

This was taking a lot out of Shadow Milk, he’d already known that. But… if anything this cemented his certainty that something was off. This determination and stubbornness was only fracturing him into more and more pieces.

Pure Vanilla sighed. “You’re putting so much on your shoulders for this… we don’t have to do this if it’s going to do this to you. We should stop if it’s hurting you.”

“No, no no no.” Shadow Milk shoved away, “It’ll be fine. It just sucks. The uncertainty of it all.”

The blonde sat still, blinking at his husband. His hands found each other again, fingers rubbing against his soft, golden wedding band. If something is wrong he would tell me… he is telling me. He vowed to that day, and he is telling me.

But something still feels… off.

“If you’re going to sit there and do nothing I’m going back to bed-”

“Oh, no. Sorry.” He wrapped his hands around Shadow Milk’s waist, his thumbs pressed intricately into the former beast’s abdomen.

It was a quick massage, a simple process but if there was- that resistance. A harder part, one that shielded something far more doughy than the rest of the body.

He’d found it almost immediately.

He held his fingers in the same position. Shadow Milk shifted anxiously. “You stopped.”

“Why don’t you feel for yourself?” Pure Vanilla took one of Shadow Milk’s hands and guided his thumb to press in at the same spot.

Shadow Milk instantly recoiled at the sensation, letting out a gasp. Pure Vanilla tilted his head, grabbing his staff and sensing his vision clearing up.

His brows were raised, clearly taken aback by the revelation. Pure Vanilla hesitated to crack the smile hiding within, unsure of how to read the current landscape before him.

Shadow Milk finally spoke. “It can’t be.”

“I think it is. You didn’t… check that way before?”

“Forgive me for not exactly wanting to feel up my own body.” He rolled his eyes. “But there’s no way-”

“Shadow Milk!” Pure Vanilla exclaimed. “Shadow Milk, this is wonderful!”

Shadow Milk stared blankly ahead before finally, finally, the feelings seemed to process. He bit his lower lip, before exclaiming.

“Oh crumbs. I’m-” Shadow Milk stood from the bed, his usual theatrics finally taking over in full sweep, “Oh- and I already feel like I’ve been soaked in milk! What do you mean I have to put up with this for… fiddles, how many months?!”

“About seven, if it’s been two months since-”

“SEVEN?!” Shadow Milk paced, “Wow. Wow. This is great! But, Witches, seven… Seven months!”

“You signed up for this, did you not?” Pure Vanilla giggled, “I did warn you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” The blue cookie stopped in his tracks, waving his hand, “Just thinking! Putting on a show for my emotions, makes the moment last.”

Pure Vanilla stood and walked up beside Shadow Milk Cookie, wrapping an arm around him. “And I won’t ever forget. I’ll be here every step of the way, my blue bird.”

“Hah! And I’m grateful for it, oh dear king~” Shadow Milk wrapped his arms around Pure Vanilla, embracing him, “It’ll be a treat. A performance. Probably something we won’t want to rewatch.”

He accepted the hug, rubbing Shadow Milk’s back. “Likely true. But we’ll cherish it, I’m sure of it.”

As they separated Pure Vanilla caught a glance of Shadow Milk’s expression. His eyebrows were… furrowed again . But not quite all the way. It was the same way they laid when he told Pure Vanilla that buttercup flowers were made of real butter, or that a cream sheep hadn’t escaped into the city…

“What’s wrong?” Pure Vanilla asked, tilting his head.

The eyebrows raised. “What are you talking about?”

“Shadow Milk, you’re good at lying and all, but you have…”

“Nills, it’s nothing, really. Just a lot to process. You’d have felt this way if you were in my shoes.” Shadow Milk said, turning away, seemingly shielding himself, “Now now, we have to make a show for this ball. It could be the last time the world sees us as badass. The last time we can be perceived as… normal. Kids change people!”

“I thought normal was relative-” Pure Vanilla began, but was promptly cut off by his husband waving his index finger. The ancient expected something to follow, but instead Shadow Milk remained silent.

Instead, Shadow milk zipped past him, making haste to leave their bedroom. Pure Vanilla whirled around, just as the door closed again.

What was that about? He… was happy, he was pretty certain of that. Right? Right? The entire interaction made his head spin, both from the joy and utter confusion of… that.

What could be bothering him?

Chapter Text

Shadow Milk would have to remind himself to thank Mont Blanc, the cookie who tailored the new outfits for him and Pure Vanilla so last minute. He stared at himself in the mirror in the room he and Pure Vanilla were staying in within the Hollyberry Castle. He couldn’t help but admire how dashing he looked.

His hair had been put up into a bun by himself, his outfit reflecting that of the night sky, more so than his other formal attire. It still had its typical clown motifs, the ruffled collar his outfits always adorned, and a tailcoat, one where the tail faded into a sky of stars (an enchantment placed by none other than himself). He wore black flared pants, which he’d paired with rather tall black and blue heeled boots.

Pure Vanilla emerged from the bathroom connected to their quarters, wearing his own formal attire. He wore what originally had been an old cream colored cloak and robe set, one he had taken to the tailors to freshen up and adorn with more stars, a blend of his and Shadow Milk’s aesthetics. He approached Shadow Milk from behind and wrapped his arms around him.

“You look spiffy, darling,” Shadow Milk said, grabbing Pure Vanilla’s hands and leaning back into him. His body ached, tiredness pulling at the corners of his eyes, legs nearly turning jelly if he stood for too long, but he pushed through. Tonight was important after all.

“As do you. And look, you know who else is here?” He guided both pairs of hands down towards Shadow Milk’s abdomen, finding the slight curve.

Shadow Milk smiled. “Of course.” He’d been having a little trouble still perceiving the more physical aspect of the pregnancy, seeing as they’d only known a few days. Shadow Milk had initially chalked up what looked like bloating to be such, after all.

Pure Vanilla had admitted to him the night they realized Shadow Milk was pregnant, however, that he had in fact noticed it a while ago. Embarrassing for him, considering Pure Vanilla had only felt for it. Shadow Milk had to see and feel it to register it was even there.

“Hollyberry may find it odd when you reject berry juice.” Pure Vanilla sighed, coming around to stand at Shadow Milk’s side, staff firmly in his grasp. “She’ll probably figure it out.”

“Does she even know we’re trying to have a kid?” Shadow Milk mumbled.

“No… but it’s possible White Lily could have mentioned something alluding to it,” Pure Vanilla said. White Lily Cookie in recent years had made a habit of floating around the kingdoms, rarely staying in the Faerie Kingdom, even if it was considered her “home”. The invitation from Hollyberry Cookie had mentioned White Lily Cookie having dropped by recently, so it seemed possible she would’ve shared any information she’d given them to the other jambound couple. “I’m certain she was fascinated by the magic behind it all, knowing her. And with those nerdy rambles she has…”

“Point taken.” The former beast shrugged, looking directly at his husband, “It’s also fully possible Eternal Sugar will figure it out herself too. She sees through me way too often.”

Pure Vanilla frowned. “So, I guess we’re both looking out for any unwarranted questions?”

“Yup.” Shadow Milk said.

“Well, at least we get to spend time with them again.” Despite all they’d previously said, they both enjoyed the presence of their friends dearly.

Friends… it still felt odd referring to Eternal Sugar as a friend so outwardly like this. For the longest time the two had merely been colleagues; hostile, but able to tolerate each other.

With their own growth, though, Shadow Milk came to apologize for many things he’d done, especially in regards to Eternal Sugar. Tormenting her followers. Tricking her servants. Eternal Sugar, on the other hand, gave a relatively cut throat apology for being so hostile towards him after he began to change. She’d noticed what was really going on between him and Pure Vanilla, long before anyone else. And she’d had no hesitance to call him out on it. Back then, Shadow Milk was convinced that would be the last time they’d ever speak to each other. He turned out to be drastically incorrect.

It was a hobby of theirs to sneak away from loud parties like this one. The formalities came first, a grand toast to the princess and her dearest husband, the required ballroom dancing, making small talk with Pure Vanilla’s (and in a way now, his,) friends. Shadow Milk even made genuine conversation with Ginger Brave, Strawberry Cookie, and Wizard Cookie, who despite taking their own paths in life were some of the first cookies he’d become genuine friends with besides Pure Vanilla.

Eventually, though, Shadow Milk would sneak a bottle of some fermented berry beverage, and find Eternal Sugar. They’d hide in a sector of the garden guests didn’t gravitate towards, spending time catching up and spewing nonsense at each other while drunk out of their minds.

But, of course, that routine would be broken tonight. The script would be mended to accommodate for the recent changes. “All for you tonight, Sugar,” he’d settled the bottle down on the courtyard table. Eternal Sugar sat on the other side clasping her hands together.

“Oh my! Did your little husband of yours get tired of your drunken kisses?” She smiled sickeningly sweet. It was far more genuine than he previously knew it to be, yet still it was something that made the hairs on his arms raise.

Shadow Milk shook his head. “Nah, just don’t need it to have fun every time.”

“I guess it’s true the saying goes you don’t need alcohol to have fun,” the pink haired cookie popped off the cork from the bottle, grabbed her glass, and began filling it, “You could turn this party into something that could get you banned from these palace walls in a snap. Without a single drop of this.”

“Hm, an enticing thought, but I don’t think Vani would appreciate that.” He sat in the chair directly across, leaning back in it and crossing his arms.

“Hmph, you’re no fun. Hollyberry wouldn’t mind~” Eternal Sugar stated.

“But it’s not Hollyberry’s party.” Shadow Milk said. Sugar’s eyes narrowed for a moment, clearly entering some trance of thought. That wouldn’t do.

“This dress is new? It’s graceful, fits you very well.” He figured a compliment would drag the conversation in a far more pleasant direction. The dress she’d worn was a long flowy light pink dress, with a short train behind it.

“Much is your tuxedo. I thought you were done with tailcoats, though?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Why thank you! This thing though?” He grabbed at the ends of his tuxedo, “figured it’d be nice to drag something out from the back of my dressing room,” Shadow Milk pulled his legs up, sitting criss-cross applesauce in the chair now.

Their usual banter continued. Shadow Milk described several of his attempts in teaching transformation magic to some of his more advanced students at the academy back home… and how they went horribly wrong. Eternal Sugar talked about how Pitaya Dragon had recently stopped by in the kingdom to find Hollyberry to spar. Only to barge in on her and Eternal Sugar having rather close contact. Laughter roared between the two, it was lighthearted. Things felt good.

Eternal Sugar had stopped though, at one point. She’d stared Shadow Milk dead in the face, concentrated. Her brows knit tightly as she seemed to be toiling with something she wanted to say.

“Not that you’re not your usual dramatic self, but I can sense something…” Sugar clasped her hands together, “off, in your demeanor tonight.”

His gaze darted away from hers, looking towards the edge of the courtyard. “Oh, my dear Sugar, what makes you say that?”

“No berry juice, and you seem… mellower… as well.” She shifted her stance, taking a more serious pose, “Something’s wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is.”

He should’ve expected it. She was notorious for seeing something and saying something. And she saw everything, when it didn’t come to her own delusions, that was.

He contemplated for a moment. Would telling her now be too soon? She could keep a secret, she’d kept many of his and vice versa. They’d seen each other at their lowest, and now this was their highest. Surely it wouldn’t be so bad to share a part of it with her?

Shadow Milk stood up. “Well, there is something, but not something wrong.” He began.

“Oh? Do go on.” Eternal Sugar was intrigued, a curious smile widening.

His tongue stilled. He took a deep breath before pushing forward. “So, about a year and a half ago, Pure Vanilla mentioned the prospect of… starting a family.” A small lump formed in his throat, to which he quickly swallowed. “And… well, it’s a bit complicated since we,” he gestured to himself and Eternal Sugar, “don’t exactly have normal dough.” The pink cookie’s expression soured slightly. He still continued.
“White Lily Cookie was able to offer some assistance. She, Pure Vanilla, and I, all adjusted and composed a spell that allowed us to… create life. The spell forms a weaker dough, not exactly able to exist outside of an ‘oven’,” Shadow Milk quoted the air, “in this case an actual cookie.”

“Pregnancy? I thought cookies long opted for baking-”

Shadow Milk raised his hands, “That’s what I said too, but it’s the only way! And… I decided… why not! And…” He trailed off.

Eternal Sugar’s eyes shifted, glaring at Shadow Milk, trying to piece together what he was saying. He figured then it wouldn’t be a bad idea to guide her with a direct hint, so he placed one of his hands on his stomach, pulling the fabric taught against the small swell.

“By the- Shadow Milk!” Eternal Sugar rose from her chair, taking in the new information. “Oh, Shadow Milk!” She crossed around the table to wrap him in a hug. He attempted to wriggle away, spitting out curses, but she refused to give up on her grip.

“Please- I can’t breathe- baby-”

“Goodness me, of course!” And with that she let him free from her grasp. “How long have you known?”

“Just…” he counted mentally in his head, but the days were hazed together, “A few days? Maybe four?”

“Four days! Am I-”

“Yeah, me and Nills aren’t exactly shouting it from the rooftops yet.” Shadow Milk shrugged his shoulders, “Still kind of weird getting used to, especially since it’s quite unheard of for cookies to put themselves through this kind of hell.”

“Oh I’m sure you’re handling it just splendidly,” her tongue was laced with sarcasm. Shadow Milk snickered, rolling his eyes.

“Witches, no.” He crossed his arms. “We had to stop more than I could count on the way here. Too much twisting and turning on that airship, too much… everything.”

“You poor thing,” Sugar hummed, “Though I believe this calls for-”

“CELEBRATION!” Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar both whipped around to the entrance of the courtyard. Only to see Hollyberry Cookie hastily making her way towards them, and Pure Vanilla not too far behind, panicked.

“I-I’m sorry! She got it out-” He huffed as he slowed down for a moment, “Exactly how I anticipated.”

“Shadow Milk Cookie!” The former queen was clearly exhilarated with the energetic stance she held: a mixture of slouching from too much alcohol and a lightness at the same time from a cheery mood, “We didn’t even- does my Sugar know?”

“Yes, love, he actually just told me as well!” She approached her partner, embracing and melting quickly into her form. Like she was meant to be there.

Pure Vanilla finally caught up to them, finding Shadow Milk’s hand. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, trust me.” He replied, turning back to the other couple, “We’re excited, really.”

“That’s always good to hear! Oh, baby doughs are a handful, but such a joy! If there’s anything you need to know, I’ll only be a letter away.” Hollyberry rubbed against Eternal Sugar’s side. Shadow Milk noticed her expression shift. He was fairly certain as to why. Maybe this… was a lot for her to hear, considering what he knew regarding her initial corruption.

Her pale pink eyes met his mismatched blue, locking together in an unspoken question as to how the two were doing. Shadow Milk instead glanced away. Eternal Sugar raised an eyebrow, but paid it no mind. Her expression softened again, and she went back to looking up at Hollyberry with a fondness quite indescribable for any other cookie.

The prospect of a child was certainly a joy, especially for Shadow Milk, but he couldn’t ignore the noise in the back of his mind. Some words that should’ve formed in his mind… weren’t. The fog only densed. That was harder to explain than he would’ve liked. Every word that came out felt wrong. Like it shouldn’t have been him explaining everything.

He shoved the notion away, though. The other three had started bantering, much like friends did. Shadow Milk’s dramatics would be missed.

Ignoring it would be bad. He didn’t try to ignore things like this anymore… but the mask on the floor of his mind would do what it needed to for tonight.

So he reached down and grabbed it, deciding to put back on the all too familiar show.

He was one of Earthbreads’ greatest actors, after all.

Chapter Text

“The bed is warm and I am cozy. No.”

“Shadow Milk Cookie, you should’ve seen a healer before we even left for the Hollyberry Kingdom…” Pure Vanilla’s voice was hushed from outside his cocoon of blankets.

Shadow Milk had been freezing before he’d entered the pile. His body had been unusually cold that morning. It started with one blanket. Now there were at least ten. He was perpetually smothered in warmth and softness… and the faintest scent of vanilla and chocolate.

“They’ll understand why I had to stay amongst the warmth and scent of you. Trust me.” The healers had grown awfully sympathetic towards him. It made him nauseated at the thought of, but right now he was certain he’d be using that to his advantage.

Pure Vanilla’s hands dove into the pile, digging around for an opening. Eventually, his cold hand from the outside reached for his foot. Shadow Milk let out a hiss at the sting of cold touch as he curled in further.

An exhausted sigh parted from his husband’s lips. “If you don’t get out in the next ten seconds, I’ll-“

“Nope! Can’t do that! Couch is off limits to yours truly when he’s carrying your baby!” He snickered into a pillow he’d been clutching underneath.

“Fine then, I guess we can’t go out at all then. It’s not like I was thinking about dropping by the weavers-“

That got Shadow Milk’s attention as he slithered out of the shell. “The weavers you say, Nilly?”

An ever so patient smile met him and nodded. “We can pick up yarn and fabric.”

“Alright then.” Shadow Milk sat up, stretching his limbs with a popping sound. He then extended his right hand towards Pure Vanilla. “Deal.”

The shorter cookie took the hand firmly, but not tight, and shook.

He rolled out from their bed with a breath, making haste to balance himself before hovering. Shadow Milk tousled off his clothes, while ravaging through his wardrobe to find an outfit for the day. As he did so, he noticed Pure Vanilla hovering behind him, clearly staring. Shadow Milk sighed, rotating to float on his back as he stared over at Pure Vanilla’s gawking gaze.

“Something you see?” He asked him.

Pure Vanilla’s eyes widened, quickly turning away, shielding his vision with a hand. “You’re just… I was just admiring you.”

Shadow Milk couldn’t help but smirk, rolling his eyes. “I see. Can’t get enough of your shmookiekins?”

Pure Vanilla’s glance returned. He sighed.

“Admittedly, I think I’m still getting used to…” He gestured at Shadow Milk’s lower torso with a hand. Despite only having known for a few weeks, the bump was much more visible now. Shadow Milk wasn’t certain hiding it under the flowy top he’d been wearing would work for much longer. Still, that was a problem for him in the future. Pure Vanilla continued. “And you’re glowing.”

“In the literal way?”

“Not- not quite,” Pure Vanilla approached him as Shadow Milk began to slide on his attire. “It’s more like a sheen. You look… dewey. And your hair too. It looks so nice today.”

“You dork,” Shadow Milk chuckled, kissing the former king’s forehead, “I haven’t even brushed it.”

“Would you like me to brush it for you?” Pure Vanilla stepped forward, grazing his fingers through Shadow Milk’s white bangs. He huffed at this, tilting his head away from Pure Vanilla.

With a snap of his fingers he mumbled, “I can do it myself.”

But Pure Vanilla only blinked at him. Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He said, floating over to the vanity where a mirror was. When he saw himself he gasped. The spell did nothing.

“That’s never happened before, has it?” Shadow Milk continued staring at himself, shock profusely coursing through him, as Pure Vanilla spoke. He walked over to him, and grabbed his arm, which Shadow Milk quickly shoved away.

“It can’t- no.” Shadow Milk landed on his feet, pacing the room. Far more dramatic than just floating.

“Shadow Milk, could it just be the pregnancy?” Pure Vanilla asked.

“That’s precisely what it is!” He whirled towards his husband. “The freeloader is already demanding and taking things! But this early? I’m, what-” He snapped his fingers, contemplating exactly how far along he would be considered now. “Three months! Something has to be off!”

“Well, if I’m not mistaken, we do go see the healers today.” His husband stepped forward, placing a hand on his cheek.

Shadow Milk melted into the touch, letting out a quiet mmh. He stared bleary eyed downward at Pure Vanilla, who stared right back up with his closed eyes.

“I love you, Pure Vanilla… but how much do you expect a healer to know when this isn’t exactly traditional procreation?”

Pure Vanilla hummed, then smiled. “I’m sure they’ll know at least something.”

-

“Well, there’s only so much we know to do.” The healers, much to Shadow Milk’s ever so tragic shock, knew less than even the two of them had.

Berger Cookie, a fudgy cookie with pale skin, and the head healer of the medical center in the Vanilla Kingdom, had even said herself that she’d only heard of a cookie going through pregnancy. She’d never seen it. None of the other healers had, either.

They were seeing Berger Cookie and Butter Pecan Cookie, a tan cookie with slightly darker hair, and speckles of freckles across their face. Both healers in the clinic years before Shadow Milk had been brought to the kingdom by Pure Vanilla himself.

Their white wafer robes were ruffled tightly around their crossed arms as they stared at Shadow Milk, who sat on an examination bed, Pure Vanilla on a stool just beside him.

“We can at least use magic to see how the baby is developing,” Berger Cookie said, tilting her head and squinting her eyes, “As for your magic…”

“It could just be a natural result of weakness from growing a baby,” Butter Pecan suggested, “Pure Vanilla Cookie, you’ve tended to cream sheep most of your life, have you not? You’ve dealt with pregnant sheep before, do they not get lethargic?”

“That… is true.” The blonde cookie said with a sheepish smile, “In that case, it shouldn’t be too big a worry-?”

“I couldn’t fix my hair!” Shadow Milk lamented, grabbing at Pure Vanilla’s robe, “What if – oh witches forbid – I can’t float.”

“Then I’ll help you walk when your legs get tired.” That serene smile was still so prominent across his face. Shadow Milk once upon a time would’ve sworn at it.

Instead, he grumbled, letting go of him and turning back to the healers. “I guess go ahead and check on them.”

Butter Pecan Cookie nodded, walking up and grabbing a short staff. They twirled it in the direction of Shadow Milk, lighting up the room for merely a moment, just before-

The spell sparked. Butter Pecan promptly dropped the staff. “Crumbs!”

The other three stared at the staff, sparking magic at the end of it as Butter Pecan reassembled themself. Once they were composed they let out a quick cough before facing their boss.

“I… don’t think I can do that spell.” They muttered over to her. She rolled her eyes before leaning down and picking up the staff herself.

“Stars above , you probably just did it wrong.” Berger swished the staff in a similar motion. It sparkled for a few moments more…

Before Berger Cookie was met with the same fate.

“Maybe that’s enough swishing for today?” Pure Vanilla suggested with a tilt of his head. Shadow Milk himself was perplexed but what was before him. He knew this spell, even if he hadn’t used it many times. He helped create the basis of it.

“Well-” Berger was lost in thought, brows contorted in a perplexed fashion. “I don’t… I don’t think the baby wants to be seen. Or it could be your soul jam, Shadow Milk.”

“My soul jam?” The blue cookie echoed. Both options seemed possible, of course. Of course it would be that way. The head healer nodded.

“There’s some… interference. I don’t believe we can exactly check on the baby.” She picked the staff back up, grabbing a cloth from her pocket to begin wiping it back down. “I suppose the best we can tell you for now is… take it easy. Don’t exert yourself, and listen to your body. How have your other symptoms been?”

“Threw up yesterday in a plant when I brought lunch,” Pure Vanilla spoke first, much to Shadow Milk’s dismay. He turned to look at his husband, face unchanged.

“Keep that up and see what happens the next time you send your robes out to be washed,” he muttered. Lightening up, he added on, “... that, and lots of hurting. My back feels thrown out, my head keeps deciding to split open, and stars above, my boobs-”

“I think they get the picture, darling,” Pure Vanilla threw his hand over Shadow Milk’s mouth. He had half a mind to lick it, but decided he’d rather not sample that ever so tempting vanilla flavor in the middle of the clinic.

The healers blinked at them, Berger Cookie letting out a quick cough.

“That… seems fine,” she said, “Increasing your intake on certain nutritions may help combat some of the weaknesses you described. Your body will need all the strength it can get.”

The jester moved his husband’s hand away from him. “Trust me, he’ll make sure that happens,” Shadow Milk rolled his eyes in the direction of Pure Vanilla, who blushed with a smile.

The appointment concluded there, with Pure Vanilla giving his typical goodbyes and Shadow Milk nodding in acknowledgment.

Leaving the front of the building, Shadow Milk felt a twinge in his chest, his hand finding his stomach almost instantly. A shiver raced down his spine as Pure Vanilla stopped.

“That’s it!” He exclaimed, “Magic may not work, but technology might! We could ask Strawberry Crepe if they’d be able to make something that could work to see the baby!”

Shadow Milk’s hand tightened around the fabric of his tunic. He caught himself nearly grumbling at that notion, but shook his head. “I suppose we could see.”

“Excellent! We’ll stop by the Wafflebot Factory on the way back to the castle and see if they’re there!” Pure Vanilla said, “But of course, a promise is a promise, shall we go get fabric?”

Shadow Milk’s hand then moved to his hip, which he slouched on. “Oh of course.”

-

Pure Vanilla had to tug Shadow Milk towards the front counter when he’d attempted to grab a sixteenth bolt, proclaiming in despair that it was just the right shade of indigo. Now they were strolling together through the market, hand in hand.

Part of Shadow Milk recognized how disgustingly romantic it was, frolicking beside the figurehead of the kingdom, nearly cuddling into his side as they made their way through. But he didn’t care. He was just happy they were heading home, where he could re-enter his cavern of warm blankets and get out of the chilly March breeze.

Life, though… had its plot twists. When the sight of one of the clothes stands entered his field of vision, he immediately noticed a section with small clothes for baby doughs. He decided maybe it could wait a few minutes more.

He tugged at Pure Vanilla’s sleeve, pointing in the direction of the stand. “Look. At. Those.”

Pure Vanilla gasped, and the two made their way over. The seamster running the stand was not known to Shadow Milk, likely someone who recently immigrated to the kingdom.

“Welcome! If any of these fine robes catch your eye, I would be grateful for your business. At a discount, too,” He gestured towards the rack containing robes far more suitable for Pure Vanilla or Shadow Milk, but it hardly swayed them.

Shadow Milk’s eyes had landed on a small gown, likely meant to be for sleeping. The traditional vanilla wafer pattern on the bottom, the flowy sleeves, the tiny bow on the front… Shadow Milk nearly melted at the sight. Pure Vanilla stood just beside him, eyeing tiny cream socks. They both grabbed their items and turned to each other, showing them off.

“They’d be so cute in this! Our- our kid, Vani…” Being emotional like this in public hardly bothered him. Dramatics. Theatrics. Cookies couldn’t tell that between his genuine moments. He was safe.

“And, oh Shami, these darling socks…” Pure Vanilla was ridiculously soft, though. His kindness and gentler nature wasn’t a shock to many, “Their feet will be this small. Oh, it’s just precious!”

They went back and forth, finding pants, shirts, even robes, teary eyed and oh so joyed at the sight of such adorableness.

Until-

“Pure Vanilla Cookie? Shadow Milk Cookie?” Shadow Milk jolted at the sound of his name. The two turned to see a very familiar dark purple cookie standing across from them, just outside the propped up tent.

“Oh, Black Raisin Cookie!” Pure Vanilla said, “What a pleasure to see you this afternoon! What brings you out here?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” She crossed her arms with a smirk, “Isn’t it a little early to be shopping for this many baby clothes?”

Shadow Milk gasped at that. “It is never too early to plan a wardrobe!”

“It appears I’ve offended the theatric.” She chuckled. “As for what I’m doing? Was grabbing parts for Strawberry Crepe Cookie. They insisted they needed these specific ones from the market.” Black Raisin quickly gestured at the bag she was holding in her opposite hand with a twinged expression, “Refused to leave the workshop, though. Has that been happening to you, too? Stepping in and being sent on a side mission like we work for them?”

“Oh! A few times, yes, but I didn’t realize they’d started doing it to you, too,” Pure Vanilla said, “I hardly mind it, though. We were heading that way, actually. I can take them for you, if you’d like.”

Shadow Milk stepped back, tuning out the conversation. He figured it’d play out similarly to how they always did. Pure Vanilla offering help, Black Raisin telling him he’s offered more than enough help, or that he’s already far too busy, and then going back and forth in what would nearly be an argument for several minutes.

He looked down at the dress.

Was this too soon? Is she right? Eugh, I hope not. He shook his head with the thought. But… she tends to be.

Cream puffs.

He put the dress back on the hanger and stepped over to the robes. And next you’ll need your robes refitted when you’re a whale, oh great Shadow Milk. His hands tugged at a black robe, eyes searching through the hand sewn details. It’ll be the summer though. It’s going to be blistering hot. How on Earthbread does Pure Vanilla wear those Witches forsaken robes year round?!

“Do you want to try one of these on?” The merchant said, now having stepped out from behind their table.

“Oh, I was just looking.” He said, glancing up at the man, a pale green cookie with a cream colored head of hair and beard, “It’s lovely handwork.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Haha, sir feels far too formal.” Shadow Milk let go of the robe, “Sorry if he’s…”

“He’s not bothering anybody, we had a nice chat when I first had this up last week.” The cookie said.

Shadow Milk hummed. “You don’t say. Did he buy anything?”

“No, but he did mention that he may be commissioning a robe sometime in the future. Impossibly small, he said. It’s hardly my business but he didn’t elaborate, you two were thinking of-”

“Oh, of having a kid, yeah,” Shadow Milk filled in the rest of the question, “It shouldn’t shock me he’s… talked to other cookies about it. That sap.”

“It’s sweet, really. Having spoken to other cookies in the kingdom, they’re shocked it took him this long to even consider the idea. But cookies said they were more shocked… that it was with you.”

“I can hardly imagine why.”

The man crossed his arms. “You don’t seem that bad, though. Makes no sense why some cookie would choose to live here when they– goodness, my manners. I’m rambling. Apologies, sir- uh… Shadow Milk Cookie.” Shadow Milk swallowed a lump from his throat. He felt his heart quickening.

“It’s- ah, you’re fine.” His gaze flitted over desperately to Pure Vanilla, who seemed to finally be settling on his back and forth with Black Raisin.

Pure Vanilla turned around to face him, having taken the bag from Black Raisin Cookie. “We compromised!”

“You don’t say.” Shadow Milk looked between the two, recognizing that Black Raisin Cookie would be walking with them. He welcomed the company, but knowing those two… this would take much longer than he’d wished it to.

I mentioned I would have designs for this au, and here they are! I had a lot of fun w this actually. I do plan on making a second, alt outfit for Shadow Milk later on (a non-maternity look, I have something in mind just haven't gotten around to executing it)

(I will be following this chapter posting with a separate 'fic' to compile all the art I've made for this, because there's. A lot. And probably more to come. Also for easy access to these references if... anyone is artistically inspired.)

Chapter Text

The three kept steady pace through the rest of the market back towards the castle and its accompanying workshop. Shadow Milk floated lazily near Pure Vanilla, resting his head on his shoulder as he listened to his husband’s conversation with the raisin cookie. Conversations about the upcoming kingdom-wide festival, talks about the expansion of the kingdom on the ground, bla bla bla bla bla bla. It wasn’t that Shadow Milk didn’t care, it was just the conversation itself… was not helping the already increasing lull toiling with his mind.

He finally jerked awake when Pure Vanilla’s hand caressed his cheek. “Did you hear what Black Raisin asked, love?”

“Huh..?” Shadow Milk hadn’t even realized he’d nodded off. Pure Vanilla chuckled, twisting his head to kiss Shadow Milk.

“Good morning,” That smug bastard. If he weren’t still half asleep he’d… do something. Pure Vanilla continued, “She was wondering about the script for the play.”

Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow, finally floating away from Pure Vanilla. “... am I supposed to know what that is?”

“The play you’re writing, Shadow Milk Cookie.” Black Raisin had crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow back.

He thought for a moment more. Play, play, play, play… writing…

“Oh, for Witches-” He smacked his forehead, “Yes! The play, it’s… it’s almost done.” Black Raisin had asked him, the notorious greatest playwright on all of Earthbread (now less self proclaimed than previously stated), to create a play for the local theater group on the history of the Vanilla Kingdom. With Pure Vanilla’s assistance, he’d nearly completed his second draft. Of course, though, he’d been forgetting to work on it. Too out of sight out of mind for him to remember to just finish it up. Especially considering he was starting to get… what Pure Vanilla had dubbed “pregnancy brain”.

“More or less done than when I was over last week?” Black Raisin tilted her head, accusing almost, but too casual to be any serious.

Shadow Milk shrugged. “A little more.”

Black Raisin simply nodded.

“I am quite excited to see the script executed. From what Shadow Milk’s let me see of it, you won’t be disappointed.” Pure Vanilla was diffident in his speech.

The Wafflebot Factory had finally come into view, its tall walls blocking part of the sun. It shaded them as they approached. It was magnificent the technology that came out of the old place, especially after Strawberry Crepe Cookie had reworked the factory after being baked. When they entered, the three were greeted by a thick scent of waffles and steel.

“Hey, kid! Got your parts!” Black Raisin called out, sending her raisin crow towards a separate direction. Shadow Milk figured that must’ve been where Strawberry Crepe Cookie was located.

Moments later the sound of a muffled clatter came about, followed by the appearance of a very annoyed looking Strawberry Crepe Cookie. Raisin’s crow was behind, behaving bashfully as if embarrassed.

“Black Raisin Cookie.” Strawberry Crepe began, “Please. Don’t send your crows alone into my work area.”

“What did you do?” Black Raisin chuckled, the bird landing on her extended mechanical arm. A gift from Strawberry Crepe to her many years ago, before Shadow Milk had even entered the kingdom. At least according to Pure Vanilla COokie, that was the case.

“What didn’t they do! They came in and knocked over my assistant Wafflebot!” They growled. As they stopped in front of the three of them, Shadow Milk noted that they were nearly Pure Vanilla’s height now. So odd. He recalled when they first met and they were barely to Pure Vanilla Cookie’s elbow.

Funny how times changed.

Black Raisin sighed. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to.”

The crow cooed in agreement.

Strawberry Crepe glared at the two for a moment before moving on. They took the bag that was handed to them by Black Raisin and smiled.

“Perfect.” They said. The cookie then turned to Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla Cookie, who had merely stared. “Why are you two here?”

Pure Vanilla’s eyes widened, seemingly having zoned out. He clutched his staff closer to himself before speaking. “Oh! Yes, greetings Strawberry Crepe Cookie. As you know, Shadow Milk Cookie is with child, and… we seem unable to use magic to see how the little dough is developing.”

“I can just tell you, you know.” Strawberry deadpanned, “Cookie A, 40% trickery, 20% cuddly, 30% softness, 10%-”

“No, no not like that!” Shadow Milk protested, landing on the ground with an embarrassing thump. Him? Cuddly? Soft??? “We know what I’m like. We know what Pure Vanilla’s like. The personality and character is the surprise, Strawberry Crepe.”

The cookie blinked at him, as if he were some piece of a malfunctioning wafflebot. They then shrugged. “Oookay. If you want to literally see them I suppose I could use… Pure Vanilla Cookie, that reminds me! There is something you need to see that I’ve been working on.”

And for the second time that day, Shadow Milk watched as Pure Vanilla was dragged away into yet another long winded conversation with a friend. As the two walked away, Shadow Milk made due to lift his feet from the ground again and relax in a lying position in the air.

“They’ll be a while.” Shadow Milk stated. Black Raisin simply nodded. “It is almost done, by the way. I’m writing the final draft after this one.”

“That’s good. I know there’s a couple of academy students in the theater troupe excited to perform in something you wrote.” Black Raisin said.

He smiled. Yet that notion made Shadow Milk think again, back to what the robes salesman had said.

“Hey, you’re around the people more than I am. You ever like… hear… things?” Shadow Milk asked.

“What do you mean by… things?” Black Raisin turned her body towards him.

The jester merely hummed, “Oh I don’t know. Maybe about some odd choices by the kingdom’s… higher ups.”

The stare she gave him made it seem as if she’d just watched him grow another head.

“Shadow Milk.” The raisin cookie said. “What in the hell prompted that question?”

“Nothing, really,” he flipped onto his back, “Just curious… that’s all.”

“Okay but since when did you care about what other cookies, aside from Pure Vanilla,” she gestured in the direction the other two had headed in just before, “had to say about you? Let alone even thought?”

“I don’t.” Shadow Milk rolled his eyes, annoyed. Was it entirely true? No. But he didn’t usually care. He’d had to learn a long time ago that caring only made things worse. He was who he was. He can’t change something as simple as that. Letting it fester would only lead him to worse places. Far worse.

-

The Fount of Knowledge knew he looked tired to his students. He knew the whispers about him through the halls of the horrid things he’d prophesied. What he spoke was mere Truth, pure knowledge.

Fount had learned far too late that the Truth wasn’t always kind.

“Headmaster,” A cookie wearing the academy’s uniform had stepped into Fount’s office, approaching cautiously in the direction of the desk he sat behind, “There’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask.” Peach Butter Cookie, a cookie only in her second year at the Blueberry Yogurt Academy. She was bright, he was certain of that much. Too sweet for the world.

“Of course, child, have a seat.” His hand gestured at one of the chairs in front of his desk. She sat, settling for a moment before speaking again.

-

“Why are you recalling such a bad memory, o’ great Fount of Knowledge? The exact moment you changed forever? That’s hardly a happy one, is it not?”

-

He blinked, startled by the echo of his voice inside his mind. He was still in his study chair, seemingly unmoved. But now he wore… different robes.

“Why would you lie to a child?!” Lavender Cookie, a professor, had stood from the chair she was seated in and slammed her fist into the table, “You gave him false hope!”

This argument. Shadow Milk recalled this. This time it wasn’t about Apple Butter Cookie. It would take months before the staff caught onto his lies, his tricks, his deceit. His tongue was so heavy with them that they slipped out before he could even think anymore. Anything to satisfy a student's craving for his knowledge, to let them leave with a smile on their face. Lies were sweeter than truths. Lies were also far more interesting.

“Would you rather I sent him off crying then and there?” The Fount of Knowledge sighed exasperated, “If I tell cookies the truth, they’re never satisfied. At least he was happy.”

“Headmaster.” Another member of the faculty, one Shadow Milk did not recall the name of, stood from his own seat. “He is dead. Because of you.”

“Then he was a fool.” Venom dripped from his mouth as he also stood, furiously pushing his seat out. “If one is to attend this school, should they not understand the weight of the world? The basic signs of danger?! Simple logic?!?”

“He was a child!”

“A child does not equal a fool! If he could not figure out the truth then he should not have been here at all.”

His words bit before he could even think them through.

The other professors in the office gasped, stunned by the harsh words of their founder.

“Get out of my office.”

They glanced at each other. Lavender Cookie stepped forward.

“No.” She stated.

Fount’s eyes widened, scowling at the cookie directly in front of him now.

“You are to leave this office and take anything you may need. Anything you want is to be left.” Lavender Cookie said. “There have been too many complaints, Headmaster. Too many. You were not made for this. The Witches did not make you for this. ”

…

Shadow Milk didn’t need to recall the next part in detail. All he needed to remember was the cloaking of magic and puppet strings that followed him from that moment on. And that would continue in that school until he abandoned it altogether.

-

Pure Vanilla had cracked the window beside the nook he and Shadow Milk sat in together. It was tucked away off the side of the palace kitchen, a place they enjoyed eating when the bigger world felt overwhelming to either of them. Pure Vanilla had suggested it when they’d gotten home.

He’d talked to Strawberry Crepe Cookie for nearly an hour before they finally got to Pure Vanilla’s request, to which he explained to Shadow Milk as ‘they have something in their head, but it’ll be a few weeks before it’s properly executed’.

Shadow Milk was fine with that.

Now before the two of them sat jelly meat curry, a favorite dish of Shadow Milk’s as of late. It was spicy, which didn’t particularly make Shadow Milk feel great afterwards but he deemed it worth it. He loved it. Their kid seemed to love it too, considering they’d let his stomach settle on the nausea.

It was a little cruel of them, when he thought about it.

His heart fluttered at the thought of being able to visualize them, though. It sounded like Strawberry Crepe was certain they’d be able to make something that would pull up an image of them like an x-ray of sorts. Like magic was supposed to do, but more scientific. Something the baby (or his souljam, if that were the case) couldn’t block.

Shadow Milk felt his hand instinctively curl around his stomach under the table. It was still an odd reflex he wasn’t quite used to yet, but it did comfort him.

“Shadow Milk?” Pure Vanilla said, “Are you feeling okay?”

He chuckled, “Yeah. Just thought about seeing our little indecisive freeloader. Made me… feel things.”

“Already? Aren’t heightened emotions not supposed to start until month four?” The blonde cookie’s head tilted.

“No, no I mean like-” Shadow Milk sighed, “Okay, yeah I guess I am getting more… emotional. But it’s not like it’s going to be much different from my usual flair anyways! Calling me dramatic when you’re acting concerned about me being emotional?” (Famous last words, Shadow Milk Cookie.)

“In my defense you’ve been more… calm recently. Almost melancholic.” Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow at the comment. Pure Vanilla didn’t elaborate. “That reminds me, I did want to ask about something.”

“Ask away, Vanilla Boy,” Shadow Milk leaned back, taking his spoon and scooping some rice and jelly.

He took a bite as Pure Vanilla spoke. “Black Raisin and I were talking before we left, when you were lamenting to Strawberry Crepe Cookie about taking away your husband. She told me you asked her something… about what the kingdom’s been talking about… us… recently.”

Shadow Milk stopped moving, the spoon still held midair by him. He stared at Pure Vanilla as he awaited a response.

“I’m… if you need to talk about anything you may be worried about, I’m here, Shadow Milk. Even if you may think it’s ridiculous or maybe not a big deal. You’re putting yourself through a lot-”

“Pure Vanilla, I’m fine.” The spoon clanked back onto the bowl. Pure Vanilla may not have been able to clearly see him right now, not without his staff, but Shadow Milk still avoided that sweet, concerned blue and yellow gaze that still sought his own face . “I’m feeling sick now anyways! This piece of dough in my belly just declared war on me. They decided no more curry.”

Pure Vanilla was not buying it, based on how his usual concerned smile faded into a thin line. Shadow Milk grabbed his bowl and drink and began walking back towards the kitchen.

“Shadow Milk Cookie, you don’t get to do that.” Pure Vanilla stood as well, the seat shifting dramatically from under him. Shadow Milk continued to walk away. “Shadow Milk Cookie!”

“Nilly, I’m fine!” He whirled around, clutching his bowl closer to his chest. Pure Vanilla stared for a few more seconds, unconvinced, before eventually sighing and sitting back down with a huff.

With him off his tracks, he took his dishes back to the kitchen, placing them beside the main washing sink. He then exited through the front entrance to the room, making sure to avoid Pure Vanilla Cookie as he made haste towards their bedroom.

His fists were balled up. Why did Pure Vanilla have to do that? Why did Black Raisin Cookie say anything? Why did I lie?!

The double doors to their quarters swung open with the flick of his cane he quickly materialized for the effect. Once inside, the doors immediately shut back, locking behind him. Pure Vanilla didn’t need to see him like this. He may not have been fine now but he would be fine later.

Approaching the bed he located a pillow, gripping it with his hands. He contemplated for a moment, before letting the boiling inside him simmer at last. Shadow Milk winded up his arm, slamming the pillow against the waffle bedframe of his and Pure Vanilla’s bed.

Once. And then a second time for good measure.

With an exaggerated groan he laid down on the bed. He would be fine. He just… didn’t like being so reminded of what led to his literal corruption. What he did to cookies back then as the Fount of Knowledge. Or that cookies, even within the kingdom, really didn’t like him.

Usually it didn’t bother him. Usually he’d scoff it off, admit it was fair, or that it was the past and he was different now, and then he’d move on.

Why now. Why now?

It seemed as if the Witches themselves were continuing to mock him. He felt himself immediately washed over in a familiar bout of sickness. One that made him bolt upright and rush to the adjoined bathroom. Spilling his guts into the toilet was not helping. He couldn’t even tell anymore if it was him or the baby making him like this.

He hated this.

He hated this… so much.

The pain, the headaches, the memory fog, the nausea, the emotions… the general overexertion of his actual mind now. He was dramatic, sure, but he couldn’t live in the roles he played. But now it was inescapable.

As he expelled himself further he realized the streaks of tears running down his cheeks.

No. No, what’s wrong with you. You’re doing this for Pure Vanilla Cookie. You’re going to prove you’re different. That you’re better. That you deserve this joy. You’re the one suffering for a change. For goodness.

But it hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

As he flushed the toilet he stayed there, arms tight around the rim of the seat. His body heaved, this time not from vomit, but a cry.

And he wept.

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla tapped his pen on the paper beneath it, face contorted in a strained concentration. The drawing wasn’t anything eloquent, just of Shadow Milk. The former king had many sketchbooks filled with doodles much like this one – Shadow Milk in his rawest moments, just existing.

This, however, was drawn for different purposes. His pen stroked again, forming more lines that draped a robe on his husband’s body. Pure Vanilla was certain that Shadow Milk would be requesting new ones soon. The ones he currently wore for the occasional kingdom-wide event were already looking tighter on him because of the baby.

The design was dramatic, sleeves draped like wings, a long trail forming at the back of the gown, and the typical waist line drawn beneath his chest rather than at the natural waist. That part was like Shadow Milk’s tunic he’d started wearing more recently.

Pure Vanilla placed his pencil down, grabbing the photo he’d snuck of Shadow Milk a few nights ago as he was staring at himself in the mirror. His hands were atop the more pronounced bump, expression unreadable.

It still perplexed Pure Vanilla that Shadow Milk was showing so heavily already. In all he’d researched, usually cookies wouldn’t show this much until month six. Shadow Milk was, as far as they could tell, only four months.

But again, this wasn’t common in the first place. Not even uncommon. More so… unheard of.

Pure Vanilla’s grip on his staff relaxed. He removed it from his lap, setting it to the side and admitting defeat as his vision clouded once more. He won’t see this as an out there gesture. It’s Shadow Milk.

He raised his hand, brushing his lips with his fingers as he tried to think again. Shadow Milk had been… going through something regarding the pregnancy. Pure Vanilla wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. Every time he tried to ask Shadow Milk would either walk away or change the subject. It was frustrating, but worst of all only made Pure Vanilla concerned something way deeper was going on. Shadow Milk didn’t hide things like this anymore.

So for now, until he could get an answer out of his husband or figure it out for himself, he wanted to do something for him.

I guess I could take him out to dinner. His morning sickness is finally subsiding, that seems to be what most commonly happens when cookies hit the second trimester. Pure Vanilla hummed in his mind. But where would he even want to go? He seems less and less willing to go out anyways.

We could do dinner in the garden. He likes the gardens. He pictured it, a mock fancy restaurant setting. Pure Vanilla could convince some of the staff to help arrange it, setting up a candle lit area under the stars. He’d wear his nicer robes, Shadow Milk would likely do the same.

Except his robes don’t make him feel good right now. You’d have to tailor him new robes before even considering getting him to do something not mandatory with them. He grumbled, face palming. Then what about something smaller. A night where I just take care of him. Let him… order me around. Draw him a nice bath with all the herbs and perfumes he could ask for?

… is that safe for the baby? Argh, and he orders me around anyways. Pure Vanilla was approaching defeat rapidly. He placed his elbows on his desk, burying his face in his palms, letting the silence around him consume him.

But then he heard it. A soft bleating from outside.

That’s right. The cream sheep must be getting fed. It’s that time of day. The sunset was filtering through the windows, he could see it much clearer as his left hand clasped around his staff once more. He stood, approaching his study window facing the kingdom’s fields. A huddle of cream sheep were gathered around one of the tenders, who was tossing their feed on the ground around them.

Shadow Milk isn’t their biggest fan… but maybe just sitting with them would help put his mind at rest. They’re affectionate. And there’s nothing better than having one of them cuddle up beside you or in your lap.

It was the perfect plan.

-

“No. Never. Not in a million years.”

Shadow Milk turned away from Pure Vanilla, who had just entered their bedroom and proposed the idea to him. The golden shimmer of the sun setting surrounded them both, making Shadow Milk in particular oddly serene looking despite his grumpy mood.

“Just one afternoon. We don’t have to do anything else, just sit there and pet them.” Pure Vanilla stepped closer to his husband. He was hovering slightly off the ground.

“I don’t like the way they look at me.” Shadow Milk huffed. Pure Vanilla continued forward, grabbing Shadow Milk’s shoulders and turning him around.

“At the very least it’ll get you outside. I can make sure nobody will be within a thousand foot radius, if that’ll convince you.” The blonde cookie watched as Shadow Milk huffed, shoving away the hand holding his staff.

He grumbled before finally nodding and speaking, “I’ll entertain you. But please, don’t grab me with your staff hand. It’s cold.”

Pure Vanilla smiled, regardless, and pulled the cookie into a hug.

“We can make it a picnic-”

“Absolutely not.” Shadow Milk said.

“That’s perfectly alright with me,” Pure Vanilla heaved a chuckle, “How are you feeling right now?” He separated from their hug, looking into Shadow Milk’s eyes.

“You know, you don’t have to ask that question every single time you see me,” Shadow Milk smiled, but his eyebrows squished down, almost nervously. “But I’m doing… fine. Was trying on my ceremonial robes a few minutes ago. I was thinking maybe we can get some tailoring done on them. I fear they’re… rather tight.”

How does he keep doing that? Shadow Milk seemed to follow many of Pure Vanilla’s trains of thought without even saying it. Much like when Pure Vanilla was trying to figure out how to rearrange the room without mentioning it to Shadow Milk. Only to find later that he went and did it himself. Exactly how Pure Vanilla wanted. Or when Pure Vanilla was away in the Dark Cacao Kingdom and he wrote a letter to Shadow Milk, only to receive one back the very next day.

Either it’s because we share a soul jam or he’s created a spire within this castle and tied me directly to it. Pure Vanilla stood up on his tippy toes to kiss Shadow Milk’s cheek. “Of course, Shami. We can start looking into that.” A buzz flickered in his chest as their soul jams made contact. Soul jams. There is no spire. He had to remind himself that it was typical two broken halves made a whole, and that if they weren’t literally bound by marriage then they’d at the very least be bound by their souls.

-

Pure Vanilla had surrounded himself with the fluffy creatures before him and Shadow Milk for years. He grew up a shepard, tending to a small herd with his family until he was accepted to the Blueberry Yogurt Academy. Even now, he spent part of his evenings outside amongst them if time allotted such.

Cream sheep were simple creatures, really, with their sleepy faces and soft, creamy wool. Pure Vanilla gestured for Shadow Milk to come closer to them, to stand by where he was standing. They were content in the moment, anyways. A quiet baa here and there, but relatively calm.

Shadow Milk stepped forward, keeping the bite on his bottom lip firm as the sheep began to enclose him in the surroundings that Pure Vanilla was already in the sea of.

“You know they won’t hurt you,” Pure Vanilla sat down on the ground, his legs crossed. He waved away his staff. “Come on, just sit down and pet one. Give them a chance. For me?”

“I thought this was for me.” Shadow Milk cocked his head to the side, but sat down.

Pure Vanilla chuckled. “Well, of course, but you-”

“No saving yourself from that wording, you just wanted an excuse to be all serene amongst these creatures. You’re lucky you’re so pretty.” Pure Vanilla jolted at the statement. Shadow Milk on the other hand rested his head in his palm, elbow propped against his knee.

“I’m-” Pure Vanilla sighed, “Do forgive me.”

“All is forgiven.” Shadow Milk nodded.

A silent victory bestowed itself in his mind. Thank you.

A white blur had moved to settle in front of Shadow Milk. The two watched it in curiosity as it butted its head gently against Shadow Milk’s stomach. “Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?” Shadow Milk chuckled, scratching the head of the sheep. It bleated back at him in protest. “Can they… sense the baby?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me. They’re incredibly intelligent creatures.” Pure Vanilla said, lifting a cream lamb that had waltzed up beside him into his lap, “Especially since there’s magic involved. They’re intuitive about their surroundings, not at all like we are.”

“Little weirdos,” Shadow Milk said as another cream sheep moved to lay beside him. And then another. And another. They all tried nuzzling his stomach, despite the discomfort Pure Vanilla could sense despite his lack of vision. “What is you guys’ deal!”

Eventually the blue blob that Pure Vanilla saw as Shadow Milk turned into a blue blob in a sea of white.

“You’ve made a few friends it would seem.” Pure Vanilla smiled. Shadow Milk only grumbled.

“I’ve been swallowed whole by adorable fluffiness.” He said. “They’re plotting my demise. I’m going to become one.”

The tan cookie couldn’t help but chuckle. “I think they’re just trying to protect you. They do that with pregnant sheep.”

“I am NOT-”

“I didn’t say you were! They may just sense it-”

“I’m still not a sheep! Why protect it?!” Shadow Milk exclaimed.

“Because you’re still creating life. It’s beautiful, really. No matter the species, you’re protecting each other.” He glanced down at the lamb in his lap, giving it a small scritch under its chin. “We’ve cared for their young for years now. They’re simply returning the favor.”

Shadow Milk huffed. “This is hell on Earthbread.”

“You’re enjoying it~”

“Only a little bit.”

They sat for a long while. Soaking in the afternoon sun. It was finally beginning to feel warmer in the Vanilla Kingdom, with spring in full swing. Pure Vanilla felt himself relax in the rays of warmth, letting it blossom over his uncovered face. Shadow Milk on the other hand had entered a steady silence, accepting his doom.

That was until he let out a quiet, but startled hum. Pure Vanilla opened his eyes, turning towards Shadow Milk.

“Is something wrong, love?” Pure Vanilla was quick to summon his staff to get a better look at Shadow Milk. When his vision cleared up, he found Shadow Milk had smiled, biting his lip again, but this time with joy. One hand rested on his belly. He glanced back over at Pure Vanilla Cookie.

“Witches no.” He breathed out, “This soul sucker decided it’d be cute to start a performance I fear I’m going to loathe for the next five months. A little dance, if you will!" Pure Vanilla’s eyes widened.

“They moved?!” He shifted forward, cradling the lamb that had fallen asleep in his lap, “Was it right there? Where your hand is?”

“Pretty sure,” Shadow Milk said, “Though I first thought I was swooning too hard over your beauty, but then I felt it again and realized it was something actually moving and not just me being a softy . It feels so weird.” He shook his head, “Like, goodness me, that’s your baby!”

“Our baby, love,” Pure Vanilla leaned down, moving away Shadow Milk’s hand to place a kiss where it had been on the bump.

“Okay yeah, our baby.” Shadow Milk leaned down and placed a kiss back on Pure Vanilla’s head amongst his blonde locks strewn everywhere. “I hope you’re not expecting me to brush this out tonight.”

“I’ll brush it before you braid it, don’t worry, love.” The two sat back up, Pure Vanilla setting back aside his staff. “But this is amazing! This means they must be developing well. It’s a good sign they’re strong.”

Shadow Milk hummed in agreement, going to stand. “It is great news, but it has unfortunately reminded me I could really use the restroom. I’m afraid this must be cut short.”

“But did you enjoy it?” Pure Vanilla asked, lifting the baby cream sheep from his lap. Shadow Milk opened his mouth to respond as he began levitating, but nothing omitted.

Instead, his body locked, crumbling in on itself as he slid back down onto the ground. He landed him on his back. Pure Vanilla hardly had time to react, standing up abruptly. “Shadow Milk Cookie!”

The sheep bleated around him, startled by the sudden drop of the blue cookie.

Pure Vanilla placed the back of his hand to Shadow Milk’s forehead. It felt slightly warm. A groan came from the cookie as he began to stir again.

“Wha’… wha’ happened…” Shadow Milk muttered, still facing the sky. Pure Vanilla sighed in relief.

“I think you stood up too quickly.” Pure Vanilla removed his hand, moving to help Shadow Milk sit up. “You passed out. Are you feeling alright?”

“M’ guess so…” Shadow Milk leaned forward into Pure Vanilla’s body, “My head…”

“Did you get a concussion?” Pure Vanilla asked.

Shadow Milk shook his head. “Just… just hit it too hard.”

“That’s never happened before, are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Pure Vanilla rubbed his back with the hands grasped around his body.

“Probably just what you said. Stood up too quickly. How rude of my body.” Shadow Milk said.

Pure Vanilla sighed. He wouldn’t win this argument.

-

Pure Vanilla had checked over Shadow Milk once they’d made it back inside. For some reason his attempt to float had resulted in him… completely draining himself of his power in that moment. He had stood up too quickly, but he’d also exerted himself far beyond in an instant because of it. Shadow Milk ended up napping the rest of the afternoon once he was situated, his hair soaked from the bath he’d had before slumping.

Pure Vanilla had taken the time alone to sit at the vanity in their room, continuing to sketch much like he had earlier. This time, though, it wasn't Shadow Milk. He’d attempted creating more doodles of his husband at first, but every time he tried drawing out his facial features… it wasn’t right. There was a sense of melancholy he couldn’t quite express in him with the pencil in hand.

Instead he now drew concepts for the nursery. They’d picked out a room, a small library just down the hall they would remove the shelves from and relocate to an empty room somewhere else in the castle.

It was the nice advantage of having a much smaller kingdom now. While the population was still growing, it was never going to match what it once was. They were now much like a bustling village rather than a kingdom.

Pure Vanilla enjoyed it, though. It meant he could know every name, and be amongst his people, even if he wasn’t a monarch any longer. It was quaint, peaceful, something he’d yearned for for years.

He had enjoyed the former glory of his kingdom many years ago, but now in his age and experience, this was better for him. He felt at ease.

And now he was trying to plan the layout of his and his former enemy’s child’s room. What a funny thing, life is. How it shifts. He internally spoke. A crib centered the room in his sketches, a canopy hung above it with a mobile of stars and moons. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

The celestial theme did feel right. Something that seemed impossible, out of reach. But for them, their baby would be in reach. He recalled earlier, Shadow Milk’s delight feeling their child shift within him. He hadn’t seen him that happy since the day they married.

Pure Vanilla glanced up at the singular photo placed on the vanity. Their wedding. Pure Vanilla had swung Shadow Milk around and kissed him in a deep swoop. A truly beautiful memory.

He figured there’d be a second photo joining soon. Their child. Maybe with all three of them, maybe with just the baby. Pure Vanilla never considered seeing himself like this. Sure, his family had their kids within the kingdom. He technically was adjacent to the dynasty within the Crème Republic. But… his child. It felt so different now. This was his.

What would their child even be like? Melodramatic and loud like Shadow Milk? Quiet and soft spoken like himself? Or even a mix, stars help them if that were the case.

But a child that looked like him with Shadow Milk’s eyes…  he couldn’t help but wonder and feel enthralled at the possibilities.

The squeak of the bed’s mattress snapped him from his train of thought. Shadow Milk must’ve rolled over. He stared down now at the sketches he’d made. The crib, the cabinets, the plush rug he envisioned, and the decorum.

His heart warmed. Pure Vanilla closed the book and turned around, removing his staff from his lap and using it to help himself up. Shadow Milk was sprawled across their bed, arms tight around a pillow he was using to keep himself in his peculiarly twisted position.

“You look so peaceful like that…” The former king thought aloud. He approached the bed, brushing his husband’s white bangs from his face. I just wish you’d tell me what’s bothering you.

-

“I don’t think you should be standing up like that, Shadow Milk,” Pure Vanilla’s arms were crossed as he stared dead straight at his husband, who had just pushed himself off their bed. Shadow Milk grumbled, dragging a hand over his face.

“I’ll be fine, I’ve dealt with worse,” Shadow Milk said.

“But if you pass out again in the shower you could hit your head,” Pure Vanilla walked over to him, placing his free hand on his shoulder, “I don’t want you risking getting yourself hurt again. You need to rest and hydrate.”

“Hydrate diedrate. I’ll survive.” Shadow Milk rolled his eyes, “I just want some me time. Preferably silent.”

Pure Vanilla stared, contemplating whether it would be smart to give in or to make him lay back down.

He then looked closer at his clothes. They were dirty. Shadow Milk’s hair was a mess, grass poking through several places. Surely that wasn’t comfortable.

That gave him an idea.

“Would it be okay if I… helped you take a bath instead? It doesn’t have to be anything over the top. I’ll just wash your hair for you and-”

“Absolutely not.” Shadow Milk whipped his head away from Pure Vanilla. “I do not need your help.”

“Standing up in the shower, though, or falling asleep in the tub… it’s dangerous. Please, Blue Bird. I won’t say anything, I’ll just… I’ll give you a back massage.”

Shadow Milk seemed to consider that. After a few moments he turned back around with a sigh. “Fine.”

And so Pure Vanilla led Shadow Milk into their bathroom, closing the door behind them and locking it. No words were exchanged as Pure Vanilla turned the faucet of the tub, checking the temperature as the water warmed. He grabbed a bag of plain epsom salt, sprinkling some in.

That should at least relax him… He glanced over at Shadow Milk, who was undressing himself. Oddly enough, he refused to face Pure Vanilla as he removed his undergarments, which he respected by turning back to look at the tub.

He sat his staff to the side. Extra measure. If Shadow Milk didn’t want him looking at him he might as well forgo his vision for the time being.

When he turned the water off, Shadow Milk appeared beside him. Pure Vanilla held him steady on the sides as he stepped into the tub, relaxing back along the edge as his hair began to dampen within the water.

Pure Vanilla grabbed a cup from the short table beside the tub, a place they often kept sponges and soaps. He filled the cup with water and poured it over Shadow Milk’s head, wetting the rest of his black, blue, and white strands.

As promised, no words were exchanged as Pure Vanilla massaged shampoo into Shadow Milk’s hair. Not even when he conditioned the ends, to which he noted were fraying and likely needed trimming. Eventually he sat back, allowing Shadow Milk to scrub his own body as he glared fuzzily at the blue blob of his form.

The silence persisted outside of the sloshing of bath water.

So Pure Vanilla considered, except for the fact he heard what he nearly considered to be a sniffle when Shadow Milk stilled for a few seconds too many.

-

Pure Vanilla sat down beside Shadow Milk, who still lay asleep.

When Pure Vanilla had pointed out the sound, Shadow Milk immediately pulled the drain from the tub. He stood, only allowing Pure Vanilla to hand him a towel before he whisked himself away into their closet to get dressed into more comfortable lounge-wear.

What was he supposed to do with that? He couldn’t even figure out why Shadow Milk was behaving like that. Why he’d been behaving like that at all.

This wasn’t the first time. Pure Vanilla let out a breathy sigh as he rested his cheek in his palm. He supposed it was fair. He spoke when he said he wouldn’t. He’d apologize when he’d wake up.

“I hope you’re okay.” Shadow Milk’s form rose and deflated like it had, signifying his steady breathing.

Pure Vanilla tried to match it, but found himself just as lost. He couldn’t figure it out. Not his breathing patterns. Not his behavior. Not his mind.

Shadow Milk was no longer… him.

And that above all else scared Pure Vanilla most of all.