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Chapter Text

Before heading to Tuchanka, Shepard decided it best to help out Kasumi because it was supposed to be an easy, in and out job. Something to give her time to get back in the swing of things after her blood clotting issue. Of course, it went south at the end. This time she didn’t leave Garrus behind on purpose. It had been a stealth mission; just her and Kasumi. They ended up gunning their way out but they were on the shuttle back now. Garrus was once again waiting at a table in the mess just to see she was okay with his own eyes. 

When she came around the corner from the elevator, he almost didn’t recognize her. Usually she was in this hoodie and pants with enough pockets to make a quarian envious when off duty, but this time she was in a sleek black dress. The face paint she usually does was much more elaborate, and her shoes made her look taller and… something else he couldn’t place. Had her legs always looked like that?

Gardner let out a short laugh and Garrus wasn’t sure what was funny. He was no expert but he was pretty sure Shepard was very attractive by human standards.

“No time to change, Commander?” Gardner asked.

“I’m starving. I can change when I’ve eaten. Didn’t have time to enjoy the party.” She sounded annoyed, uncomfortable.

Maybe that’s what was funny. The discomfort.

She sighed and fidgeted with the straps. “I hate this thing.”

Gardner shook his head. “Well, if I can be speak candidly, ma’am, you look amazing. Ain’t that right, Garrus?”

Garrus snapped to look at the cook. He didn’t realize he’d been staring at her. “Yes–uh… Amazing.” He sounded like an idiot. Gardner started to make Shepard something.

When Garrus looked back to Shepard, she was watching him like a moving target. Shepard had always made him kind of nervous and something in those bright green eyes that amped it up. After a beat she just smiled. “Well, if even a turian agrees, maybe Kasumi was right. I should wear stuff like this more often.”

It was innocuous. It barely meant anything. 

And somehow his instincts told him there's something dangerous about it. He could feel it in his rush of blood that pounded in his ears–in the way his tongue seemed twice as heavy. 

Lana finally looked away and took the food Gardner presented her. “Thanks.” She gave Garrus one of her little salutes, the kind that was more joke than dismissal. “Later, Garrus.”

He watched her disappear around the corner to the elevator. Once the elevator door closed he breathed a sigh.

Gardner laughed. 

“What?”

“Nothing! Nothing. It's just a human thing. You wouldn’t get it.”

Garrus straightened. “I’ve worked with humans a while.”

“Well, I’ve never known a woman who looks as good as her who would be so annoyed to be in a dress like that.” He shook his head, a smirk at the corner of his mouth. “Woman could have any man in the galaxy. Most are too scared to try, of course. Maker help the man who catches her eye.”

Garrus wasn’t sure any man could turn Shepard’s head at this point. The closest he thought she’d come was Kaidan, maybe Thane but he said–

The way Shepard looks at you I thought...

He almost laughed out loud as he made his way back to the bulkhead. Shepard had promised he’d be on the next mission and his rifles needed their usual love before then. 

They were finally on their way to Tuchanka when Shepard swung by. She was back in that hoodie and ‘cargo’ pants, clearly back in her comfort zone. “Shepard… Need me for something?”

“You got a minute?” Her usual line when she just came by to chat. It was good to hear it again.

“Sure. Just killing time anyway.” He tried not to seem too eager. They hadn’t had a chance to talk alone since the med bay thing. “I wanted to thank you again for your help with Sidonis. Whatever happens with the Collectors, or the Reapers or whoever else comes after us I know you’ll get the job done.” 

“You actually think we’ll find something worse than Collectors or Reapers?” The sarcasm was expected.

“I like to expect the worst. There’s a small chance I’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

She smiled then did something she doesn’t normally do– stood straighter, both hands behind her back. “I couldn’t do this without you, Garrus.” 

“Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.” She shook her head as she meandered to her usual spot and he pivoted as she moved. “It’s strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. Your people don’t prepare for high risk operations the way turians do.” It's a casual observation, one he honestly would like her input on.

“I’d expect you to be used to high risk operations on a human ship by now. I mean with tracking Saren to Ilos…”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Yeah, sure, but that was quick. We raced out, landed, blew up some geth, and saved the galaxy. This time we’ve got Miranda and Cerberus and that AI all reminding us what we’re up against. I think I preferred blind optimism.”

She scratched her neck and leaned back. “Honestly, what do you think about our chances?”

He started pacing before he could stop himself. “Honestly? The Collector’s killed you once and all that did was piss you off. I can’t imagine they’ll stop you now.” She snorted and he kept pacing. “But an uncharted area, advanced technology, and the Collector’s? We’re gonna lose a lot of people. No way around it.” He did not like the odds. He didn’t want to lose people. 

But how do you get around all that? Shepard was the best, she’d already pulled off the impossible. How long could her luck hold though? 

“Not a happy analysis, I know. I won’t go spreading it around. And I’m with you regardless.”

Something soft passed over Shepard’s features. A look he never understood the context for.

Gratitude maybe? Sometimes he wished humans had facial plates and not a million muscles that all meant something different.

“Do you ever… regret leaving C-Sec? Or the turian military.” She clearly added on the last bit as a second thought. He’d known Shepard a long time. And that meant she was asking if he regretted dropping everything to gallivant around the galaxy with her in the first place.

He nearly laughed. “Not for a second. When it all comes down to it… I don’t think I’m a very good turian. When a turian hears a bad order, he follows it. He might complain but he knows his place. I just don’t see the point in staying quiet and polite. Not with the whole galaxy at stake.” 

“Well, you may be a bad turian but I wouldn’t have it any other way… and I’m glad you’re here.” She got more comfortable. Like she checked all the little boxes he imagined she had in her head when she came down to see him and she could relax now. “How do turians get ready for a high risk mission then? If not by quietly waiting for the inevitable?”

“Violence, usually. Turian ships have more operations discipline but fewer personal restrictions. Our commanders run us tight and they know we need to blow off steam. Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Full contact sparring? Turian ships let crewmen straight up fight each other before a mission?”

“It’s supervised, of course. No one is going to risk an injury that could jeopardize the mission. And it’s a good way to settle grudges amicably.” He shrugged. “I remember right before one mission, we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky.” Before he could stop himself he was pacing again. “This recon scout and I were at each other's throats. Nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring.” Shepard’s eyes kept following him as he went back and forth. He was rambling again too.

She smirked. “I assume you took her down gently?”

He nearly laughed because there wasn’t much gentle about any of it... the sparring part. It had been so long ago he barely remembered her name. Octiva? No, Octaria? She had orange markings.

“Actually, she and I were the top rated hand to hand combat specialists on the ship. I had reach but she had flexibility.”

Octavia. She was so by the book, she hated every time he went off on his own without orders. Working with her had been hell for months.

“It was brutal. After nine rounds, the judges declared it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room. We, uh, ended up having a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, she had flexibility.” Suddenly, he was very aware that he should probably shut up. Shepard was captain of this ship and it’s crew and as he’d said before, more personal restrictions. The story had admittedly… gotten away from him. “More than one way to work off stress, I guess…”

He walked back over to the console. And he tried not to gauge Shepard’s reaction. They were friends after all; she was his best friend. She’d said he was her’s before.

“Sounds like you’re carrying some tension.” For the briefest moment he thought she might make fun of him. There was a tone. He was just not sure what– “Maybe I could help you get rid of it.” She stood and crossed her arms.

That was not where he’d thought this was going.

“I, uh, didn’t think you’d feel like sparing, Commander.”

The pause had him immediately regretting calling her Commander but it had already left his mouth so nothing could be done about that. She could and would kick his ass. He’d seen her flip a Krogan without armor on.  She was smiling, an eyebrow raised. Like something was funny. She always made him so damn nervous–

“What if… we skipped right to the tiebreaker?” Shepard walked over to the console, and leaned back on it. “We could test your reach… and my flexibility.”

Garrus short circuited.

“Oh! I didn’t…hmmm… Huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.” It was like his whole brain had to restart. Systems were taking their sweet time coming back on line. It had never occurred to him that Shepard could want a turian… sparring partner. A turian anything. That just seemed… could he… with a human? Well if he’d be with any human–

Could humans and turians…?

Say something, Vakarian.

“Well . . . why the hell not? There’s nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you.” The image of her in that black dress came back to him.

Respectfully.

“If we can find a way to make it work then… yeah… definitely.” She walked out past him with a smile that kicked his heart rate up before leaving without a backwards glance and oh…

OH…

Well, shit.

What had Gardner said; Maker help him?

He was going to leave the algorithms alone for now.

Chapter Text

When they landed on Tuchanka, Mordin wanted to scout ahead so he and Shepard took Grunt over to Wrex.

Grunt was apparently becoming an adult. Garrus felt bad about threatening him with the shotgun now. He’d heard stories about krogan puberty. No wonder he had been acting crazy.

Shepard was acting like she hadn’t propositioned him in the bulkhead not a few hours early and he was wondering if maybe that had all been a stress induced fever dream. He watched her with intent now, though not quite sure what he was looking for. Human’s hadn’t seemed a viable… option before.

But she had brought it up. So something had sparked her interest. He was sure human’s didn’t usually go into sex with people they weren’t attracted to in one way or another. There wasn’t necessarily feelings involved but attraction was usually a must.

He was sure she’d playfully called him ugly when he’d first come out of surgery after that rocket he took to the face. Though looking back, that was probably just an attempt to make him laugh. 

And she did make him laugh. Not necessarily right that minute though, as he could see her getting visibly angry the closer they got to the krogan shaman and the other clan leader they were supposed to be talking too. “The beasts of the rite could ignore him like a lump of plastic!”

The shaman looked visibly annoyed. “They know blood no matter the womb. Your barking does not help your case.”

Grunt walked right up to them. “I will speak for myself.”

The shaman turned to eye him. “Looks lifelike. Smells correct too. Your objections ring hollow.”

Shepard gestured dismissively at the other clan leader. “I don’t care what this idiot says. Grunt has the right to be here.”  It was a sight to see her in her element. A lifetime ago he remembered being on that Virmire beach, seeing her and Wrex hashing it out from across the sands. He pulled out his shotgun and she hadn’t even flinched, just pulled her own rifle and kept talking.

“ There’s some fire! And from an alien. Sows shame on those who whine like pups.”

The other clan leader, Uvenk, piped up. “If this must stand on ritual then I invoke a denial! My krant stands against him. He has no one!” 

Shepard tensed for a half second and while the krogan missed it, he did not. She was a woman of near bottomless patience… except when it came to her crew.

This would be fun or bloody.

The shaman was also annoyed but sighed. “My patience is…tested but he invokes correctly. Grunt, who is your krant. Your ally who is willing to kill and die on your behalf?”

Grunt looked at Shepard but she was speaking before he could. “Grunt will strengthen Clan Urdnot. Name our target and it will die.” Garrus realized she meant the both of them but to be honest nothing would make him happier then to shut the clan leader up. He was actually the worst and while Grunt hadn’t made the best judgement call on that last mission he was still crew.

“Spoken well! Most aliens and some krogan do not understand our ways. I believe this human does.”

Uvenk started to protest but Garrus was fixated on Shepard. If someone who didn’t know her were watching they’d think nothing of the flex of her hand or the tense of her shoulders. He didn’t get far into his speech about how Grunt wasn’t krogan enough. Right as he said everything about Grunt was a lie Shepard’s head collided with the krogan’s and Garrus’ world stood still.

By some miracle, she wasn’t even bleeding.

“You…you dare.”

The shaman laughed, “I like this human! She understands!”

He was lucky turian’s didn’t turn red like humans do. Any turian would swoon a little. Not that they were prone to wanton violence, of course. But between the devotion to her crew, understanding her opposition and executing that kill shot (metaphorically), he was reminded exactly why he was following her to hell and back. She still made him nervous but he was coming to realize maybe… well maybe the tension wasn’t just about the mission.

The ride in the truck out to the ritual site was quiet. Shepard was seething, clearly as itching to kill something as Grunt was now. 

No one talked about her crew like that.

They started up the hammers and Shepard finally was in her true element. The Thresher Maw showing up didn’t phase her. She just kept yelling out an updated kill count when she downed an enemy. Before he knew it, him and Grunt were counting too. Didn’t matter who was winning, mattered more Shepard was getting good missile shots on the Maw.

When they took down the Maw, all three of them were just screaming. It was insane but he had needed it for sure. Shepard grabbed his arm and shook him in excitement as Grunt jumped around them. Joy was raw on her face. 

Garrus didn’t see her like that enough but he recognized it from when they beat Saren and she emerged from the rubble. Seeing him and Wrex alive, she looked exactly the same–

Or had she even looked at Wrex? He remembered so clearly her looking right at him with those eyes. After being so scared not moments before when she’d disappeared behind a chunk of Sovereign. Had they kept that look when she’d finally looked away? And why for the life of him did that seem important now?

A shuttle flew overhead and Shepard’s face shifted into pissed off.

They killed the other clan when it showed up, spouting nonsense about Grunt joining them and when they got back Wrex was thrilled they’d killed the thresher maw. Apparently he’d been the last to do so and the tradition was staying in the family.

The shuttle took them back to the ship. He didn’t search the net at that moment. But he wondered if he needed to look into human relationships too. Humans did sometimes do no strings attached relations but maybe… if they survived this he might need the advice.

Mordin came back in the shuttle a few hours later and they had a meeting where they agreed they’d hit the lab in the morning. The briefing let out and it was just him and Shepard in the conference room. Something in her smirk as she leaned on the conference table had him leaning next to her.

“Shepard… what are you planning?”

“Hm?” She came out of her thoughts, acting innocent enough.

“You look like you know something they don’t.”

“Just that it's fascinating the people the Illusive Man suggested for the crew. They’re perfect. Maybe too perfect. But this.” She gestured to the empty room as if to indicate the whole situation. “I think the Illusive Man has underestimated something I’ve never taken for granted. He’s been little by little showing he doesn’t have regard for the crew and its wellbeing. That he’ll use us as he sees fit. While that pisses me off to know end, I tolerate it because it currently works for my own machinations.”

“And those would be.”

She smiled the way she did when she hung up on the council time after time. “Oh… I’m stealing the Normandy… eventually.”

“You think Cerberus will just let you take this ship? Or EDI for that matter. She hears everything you know.” Garrus waited for the AI to chime in but she didn’t.

“ Let is a strong word. I don’t pretend to know what he’s thinking but his betrayal is inevitable.”

He let that sit for a minute before nodding. “Okay. What if he doesn’t?”

“I once told you, you can’t predict how people will act–”

“Only how you respond.”

“So I’m going to keep doing what I would have done anyway. If… I inspire the kind of loyalty that warrants mutiny that’ll be the Illusive Man’s fault. Not mine.” He knew her well enough to know she deeply despised the Illusive Man. “He underestimates me at every turn. His mistake. I will never underestimate him. Not after learning the truth about Akuze.”

“There’s one thing I’ve admired about you and it’s how quickly you get a read on people.”

She smirked again, the cloud of doom gone from her eyes. “Yeah, I think my best cold read was this one C-Sec officer. He was in charge of this investigation into a rouge Spectre–”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny."

“No, no, it’s true. Knew from the start he was just the kind of trouble my crew needed.”

That… he hadn’t known. “Is that right?”

“Well he took this amazing shot that saved a civilian doctor in the Wards. Real knight in shining armor type.” She was teasing him but two could play at that game.

“Well I seem to recall this N7 soldier coming in and giving him the opening he needed to take the shot. Kept the whole investigation from falling apart gained us a Quarian engineer.” He bumped his shoulder with hers.

She let out a little laugh. “That feels like a lifetime ago.”

“For you it was.”

For a second she looked lost in thought. “Now that you mention it… I wonder what happened to my stuff. I never asked Anderson. I mean I didn’t have much but…”

He was quiet for a moment too long and she looked at him, searching his face. “Anderson would know where the bulk of it ended up but… we got your messages.”

Shepard ran a hand down her face. “I nearly forgot about those. I should’ve known since you had the playlist.”

“I should probably thank you. I didn’t take you dying well.”

“Yeah on a scale of okay to running off to Omega to pursue vigilante justice you were pretty high on it.” She bumped his shoulder with hers this time.

“I’ve really gotten into that one that has no lyrics but a killer beat. Kind of goes… do do do do. Da do do do do–”

“Sandstorm?”

“Yes, I think that one translated best.”

She started laughing and she didn’t stop for a half a minute. When she was done she looked at him warm and happy, her shoulder leaning on his. “I’m glad you liked it. It’s a classic for sure. Turned one hundred and eighty five, I think.”

“I’ll have to make you a list of turian music next.”

She got a little red. “Exchanging music playlists is a little grade school but I’d–”

EDI chimed in. “Commander, Miranda is on her way to the conference room. She’ll be coming from the right.”

Shepard pulled away like she had forgotten where they were. “Thanks, EDI.”

Garrus squeezed her shoulder quickly before heading for the door, trying to look casual. He managed to sneak out the left side before the Cerberus officer saw. He looked over and Yeoman Kelly was thankfully not at her station. Once he was in the elevator he realized that he only booked it out of there because…

“EDI…did you–”

“I understand that personal moments between people are often considered private and was not necessary for Miranda to be privy too at this time.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Garrus.”

“Got a little caught up.”

“Understandable.”

For a turian who still hadn’t mustered up the courage to look up what a naked human woman even looked like, he could recognize he wouldn’t have booked it like that if that had been an innocent exchange. It had been maybe two days and here he was, already worried about getting caught in the conference room touching shoulders of all things.

Chapter Text

Maelon’s lab was a horror show and when they got back to the ship it’s almost a surprise that Mordin survived the ordeal. Shepard never liked the genophage and it worried him she was so quiet. 

Mordin said modifying it was like gardening and Shepard looked like she might kill him, and leave him there to rot.  

Mordin and her went at it in the lab. Every new horror had Shepard on edge. 

But then they got to Maelin and Shepard did what she always did– talked Mordin out of killing him. She checked how Mordin was doing.

Once Maelon was gone the anger Shepard had been brewing up was to. A woman who was unfailingly patient with Mordin. Masterfully kind.

They debriefed and Shepard booked it for her quarters. Garrus went to Mordin in the science lab, because he’d been quiet long enough. “I hope you realize how lucky you are, doctor.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Most people who piss the Commander off like that wind up dead.”

The salarian looked at him a long time before responding. “Shepard’s compassion seems limitless. Unique trait among humans. Showed compassion for Krogan numerous times. Compassion for me? Wouldn’t have thought so at the beginning. I do wonder, would have let her shoot me?”

Garrus shook his head. “No, but I wouldn’t have done it for you. Or the genophage. Shepard would regret it.” 

Shepard’s eye looking at him defiantly through the sniper scope. She won’t apologize for this.

Mordin nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting… You and Shepard are a good match.” There was a long tense moment after that. 

“Choose your next words carefully, doctor.”

“Just surprised. Well, not surprised. Personal history, close quarters, hormones. I saw Lovers In A Dangerous Wartime. Very moving vid.”

“Saw what?"

“Oh, war vid with human-turian relationship during First Contact War. Made by the company that made Fleet and Flotilla.”

Garrus squinted at Mordin as menacingly as he could. 

“I can forward you materials if–”

“Absolutely not.”

Mordin nodded. “Well you know where to find me.”

Garrus kept staring him down as he left the science lab. Materials seemed a lot but a vid? That… did seem like a good place to start, actually.

As it turned out the premise for Lovers in a Dangerous Wartime was about a turian who was captured by humans during the war and escaped. He hid on a farm on Earth with the help of a human woman and they fell in love. It was actually a really good, if unrealistic story.

The woman, Mila, was depicted as strong, capable. Her father died earlier in the war and she was the only one taking care of the farm now. She was very patient with the turian, Amadeus, who was injured and untrusting in the beginning. For a ‘war vid’ there wasn’t a lot of actual war. Mostly funny moments of her teaching him how to help on the farm and him teaching her self defense. Her figuring out how to feed him.

What he learned quickly was that humans pressed their mouths together in a ‘kiss’ to show affection and desire. There was a lot of hugging and touches as well outside of whatever the sex act was. It faded to black before anything explicit happened.

The climax of the film came when soldiers finally did track him down and Mila was caught in the cross fire. Amadeus waved a white flag.

“ Wait! Stop! I’ll come quietly just please don’t hurt her!”

“Amadeus!”

“You need medical attention.”

“I need you.”

“You’ll have me. I promise.” He brushed hair out of her eyes. “ I love you .”

“ I…love you too. ”

He remembered Shepard, groggy from blood loss laughing. ‘ So many cinematic moments revolve around that gesture.’

The next few days after watching that were tense with him alone in the bulkhead. There were materials to gather and projects to research, they still needed the Reaper IFF but Shepard didn’t want to hit that until it was absolutely necessary. He did manage to fine tune the Thannix cannon even further in that time. He didn’t see too much of Shepard because she was basically in full strategy mode.

If they did this, and it went sideways…

Garrus wanted to approach her but for the first time wasn’t sure how. The movie had only left him more of a mess.

He’d just gotten another .259% accuracy out of the gun when Shepard walked in the bulkhead. “Hey, Garrus, got a minute?”

He hesitated before closing the door behind her. “Yeah… I’ve been thinking about what we talked about. Blowing off steam, easing tension.” Nervous, how did she make him so damn nervous? He felt like a broken record. But he really just needed to be honest, to be sure. “I’ve never considered cross-species intercourse. And damn saying it that way doesn’t help. Now I feel dirty and clinical.”

Shepard stood patient and unreadable in that moment, waiting. He reminded himself never to play her in poker, because he was sweating. “Are we…crazy for even thinking about this? I’m not… look Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home.”

And that was it wasn’t it. She could have any human man she wanted. What was to stop her from just… getting one? Or even Thane who was at least vaguely the same shape. Jacob clearly admired her too. 

She took a deep breath. “I don’t want something a little closer to home. I want you . I want someone I can trust.” Green eyes stared him down.

Well… how could he argue with that? No hesitation, no doubt. It really was that simple for her.

I want you . 

A tightness in his shoulders eased. “I can do that.” He could…deep down he even wanted to. It didn’t feel like enough but who was he to tell Shepard what she should want if she was offering? “I’ll find some music. And do some research to figure out how this thing should work. It’ll either be a night to cherish, or a horrible interspecies awkwardness thing.”

She raised an eyebrow and he barreled on regardless.

“In which case fighting the Collector’s will be a welcome distraction. So, you know, a win either way.”

“You know, Garrus, if you’re not comfortable with this it’s okay.” She reached out and touched his shoulder, a look he finally recognized as trying to be reassuring. “I’m not trying to pressure you.”

Lana Shepard was standing in front of him with a way out and it occurred to him the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. The galaxy was falling apart around them and here she was again, making sure everyone else was okay. “Lana, you’re about the only friend I’ve got left in this screwed up galaxy. I’m not going to pretend I’ve got a fetish for humans…” Again he was not even sure how this was going to work yet– never seen a naked human before. Trucking through regardless. “But this isn’t about that. It’s about us. You don’t ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes… but never uncomfortable.”

That seemed to ease her worry.

“So… when should I book the room?”

Garrus realized he hadn’t thought about a timeline. “I’d wait if you’re okay with it. Disrupt the crew as little as possible… and take that chance to find some calm before the storm. You know me, I always like to savor that last shot before I pop the heat sink.” He regretted saying it. “Wait… that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.” But Shepard got this crazy grin on her face… maybe this would work fine after all if the innuendos translated right.

She started to back up out of the bulkhead. “I’ll… let you get back to work.”

“Right… because I’m in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now.” 

Before the door closed she gave him a little wave that was almost shy. With a sigh, he began to pace.

“EDI?”

“Yes, Garrus.”

He leaned against the console, staring absently at the monitor. “Theoretically, if I want to do some extranet searches that I didn’t want Cerberus to see?”

“Are these searches directly related to the mission at hand?”

He shook his head. “No they’re… personal. Promise.”

“Is this regarding your involvement with the Commander?”

The question hung in the air before he let out a little laugh. So much for keeping this out of Cerberus’ data on them. “I forgot you can hear everything.”

“I am capable of discretion. I understand you’d be reluctant to have this information come to light while working with a group that has been decidedly pro human interest. I can log this one interaction where I've been hiding the others. As for your extranet searches, I can scrub those when you give me the word.”

It was surprising, but Shepard was one to win over people. She’d even been able to break through Sovereign's hold on Saren and appeal to the Turian in him. “Can I ask why you’d help me?”

“Shepard has treated me like part of the crew from the moment she stepped on the ship.” EDI may have been an AI, but she had a tone he recognized– admiration. “She’s defended me and has gone out of her way to include me. I am… grateful. With that said, the longer I monitor the Illusive Man’s surveillance methods, the more I suspect he does not have the best intentions for her, no matter the good of his overall goal. He would use you to exploit her, which I believe to be unnecessary to achieve our goal.”

“Does anyone else in Cerberus know?”

“Not about this. I took the liberty of keeping this out of the normal data pool.”

“Thanks.”

“Though there are some in the crew who have expressed that the commander shows favoritism to you. And you to her. Kelly Chambers suggested you’d ‘make a cute couple’ but kept it out of her formal reports… at least not yet.”

Huh.

“Mordin may be able to provide you insight into turian/human relations on a clinical level. Dr. Chakwas doesn't have the same kind of interspecies experience.”

He tried not to wince at the thought of asking the Salarian for that kind of advice. He’d already tried to subtly give him some. “I’ll see what I can find on the net first.”

“Understood. And Garrus?”

“EDI?”

“Shepard had not laughed once before you were aboard.”

“Oh… well… I won’t lie I wasn’t exactly in the mood for laughing before I joined up either. I thought she was dead after all.” Looking back, he may have laughed twice in the last two years since she died. 

“Your presence on the ship has meant a great deal to her. She does not express her regard for you lightly.”

You mean more to me than you could ever know.

“I am not taking it lightly. Promise. I’m... going to start that search now.”

“Noted.”

Chapter Text

They went back to Omega to help Samara with a personal matter and Garrus decided to hit the bar. After this, it was the Reaper IFF. Everyone had to be ready.

So he found himself a seat on the upper level and people watched. It always calmed him to sit back and observe. He wasn’t there five minutes before a turian started pressuring an asari dancer for sex. She looked about to handle it when the door to the bar opened and there was Shepard, in that slinky dress from the party. She looked to be talking to someone on comms, then noticed the commotion. He’s just out of the commander’s sight line and doesn’t spot him. 

The turian got down and was thrown off the dance floor, in about three seconds. She then went up to the bar and sweet talked the barman into giving a round of drinks on the house. 

Garrus had known Shepard a while and this… was not the Shepard-at-the-bar behavior. She rarely tried to stand out. It was unclear exactly what was going on. He followed just out of sight–casually. Just to see if he could gauge what she was up to.

She tells some of Hink’s men to beat it and they comply in the way men who fear for their lives do. As she's making another move for the bar an asari stops her. 

She’s in all black. Leaning casually enough to seem effortless but there’s something very deliberate about her he didn’t like. There’s an arch of Shepard’s brow, a cool tilt of the head.

He couldn’t hear them but…

Were they flirting?

It was like looking at two varren sizing each other up. Two beautiful varren in skin tight clothes.

…And that was an interesting time to realize he did, in fact, find Shepard attractive.

They weren’t an item. He really shouldn’t be as pissed as he was. They were going to have fun in the casual before-a-mission way all people facing their certain death did. It shouldn’t bother him when Shepard leaned closer to the asari. When they stood to go–where only the spirits knew– he planted himself to the spot as every muscle tensed.

Had Samara really needed Shepard’s help for anything? What had happened to wanting someone she could trust? What the hell was he doing? He gave them some time before he left the bar too to head back toward the Normandy. It had apparently not been enough though because he caught sight of them heading towards the wards.

What he did witness shortly after was Samara tailing them expertly from the shadows–something only a man familiar with the shadows on Omega could see.

Well.

Garrus felt immediately like a fool.

He’d been jealous. Jealous in a way friend’s blowing off steam shouldn’t be. 

When he got back to the ship Joker was there. “You’re back early.”

“Got there. Hated it. Came back.”

Joker winced. “That bad?”

“Als realized I almost got in the way of Samara’s thing. Better to come back.”

“They were at the bar?”

Garrus didn’t answer and something in that pause had Joker frowning even more. “I’m going back to the battery.”

“Want company?”

“Since when do you want to small talk?”

“I mean no reason to get hostile. Just catching up with an old pal and all.” Joker was smiling again but in a way that screamed ulterior motives.

“Do what you want.” Garrus pushed past him and headed back to the battery.

“So… you and Shepard huh?” Garrus rolled eyes and kept moving. Joker fell in step behind him. “I mean, I can’t say I understand it –no offense– but can I say that it’s genuinely been so much better with you on board.” 

“I don’t really wanna talk about this right now–”

“I just wanted to say I’m here if you need me. I’m a human– I’ve got insight into human relationships, I’m your guy. And you may know Shepard but I know Shepard AND how human relationships work.”

Garrus stopped, looked to the ceiling then gestured to the battery. “Alright, let’s go.”

When the battery door closed Joker sat in Shepard’s usual spot. “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know if I want direct advice but… a point in the right direction would be nice.” He started to pace as he always did. “Mordin’s advice is too clinical. He doesn’t know about the.. The other things–”

“Romance.”

“I mean… yes. Yes, actually. She suggested a casual thing to blow off steam and I am… maybe a bit more invested than that. But we may all die so it's a moot point if we do.”

“And you’re worried about?”

Garrus thought about it. Still pacing. “Do I put all that on her before the mission? I don’t want to ruin it for her. And what if it’s weird and awkward? What if how I feel is getting ahead of reality you know?”

“Perfectly valid.”

“But I also don’t feel great going into this knowing I am… invested and she isn’t. I’d like to know.”

“Also valid.”

“But on the OTHER hand–”

Joker cut him off. “You don’t have to tell her right away. Humans do it all the time.”

Garrus stopped pacing. “Really? Doesn’t that lead to miscommunication.”

“Oh yeah. But it’s par for the course. Just relax. As you said we all may die.”

He sighed and leaned on the console with both hands. “Shepard deserves–”

Joker cut him off again. “You said Shepard asked you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So you don’t have to worry. Sure, Shepard’s out of your league– objectively. But Shepard decides who is in her league, not me or society or anyone else for that matter. Also I can’t give you the shovel talk, you’d never be intimidated by that.” Garrus did not know what a ‘shovel talk’ was but he let the human keep talking. “Easiest way not to screw it up is to treat her as what she is– worth the effort.”

“What does that look like?”

“With Shepard? What you’re already doing. Checking in on her, listening when you do, having her back no matter what. You may be turian but you’re the only one who she lets herself be a person with.”

“The problem is… what have I done to deserve it?”

“Everything. You’ve done everything to deserve it. Now you just have to keep it. I’ll send you some materials. Old vids from earth. You can find the raunchy stuff on your own but I do hope these will speak to you.”

“Turian’s couple casually until marriage and while we love family it's not like humans. We don’t–”

“Get strung out on a woman?”

“We really don’t but… Turian society makes attachment hard. Long term relations are for strengthening the hierarchy–they’re rarely based in emotion. There’s a certain way you have to be and it’s not whatever the hell I’m becoming.”

“Well… fuck turian society. What do you want?”

“I want to follow Shepard into hell… and hopefully back out.”

“That’s what she likes about you.”

Garrus laughed. “That I’m crazy?”

“That when she sets out to do the impossible you are right there at her back.”

“You are too.”

“Well, she died to pull my cripple ass out of literal fire and is the only reason I’m here today so… yeah, where else would I be.” Joker was trying to joke.

Garrus stopped pacing. “And she’d do it again.”

Joker scoffed. “That doesn’t make me feel better. You know that right?”

“You don’t think it wouldn’t haunt her to leave you to die?”

Joker seemed to think about that for a bit. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.”

“Anyway, I’ll send you those vids but I’m not letting my search history suffer. You want naked pics, you'll have to find them on your own.”

Find them Garrus did. He learned Human women were squishy. Even Shepard, more muscle than anything else, was probably squishy. But it turned out naked human women were at the very least aesthetically pleasing, embarrassing as looking it up was. Curiosity got the better of him and he did peek at what male genitalia looked like. It was… surprisingly close enough. Objectively weirder but close enough.

He’d already been planning on getting music which was a maybe for most but given it was an on running thing between him and Shepard he decided it was a must. Alcohol would almost certainly be needed. There was alcohol that wouldn’t poison them both so they could share as long as he got the right stuff. 

Apparently if all else failed during the deed itself or the chafing got too bad there was ‘tongue stuff’. It was after reading that he had to take a break.

He was so screwed.

Chapter Text

By the time Shepard got back to the ship an hour later Garrus was feeling a little less on edge. She came back with Samara and they were clearly not in a great move. Whatever went on with the other Asari was over. He heard them from the mess part in the hallway to the lounge where Samara usually resided. “Thank you again, Shepard. While I wish it hadn’t come to that, I’m glad you were with me.”

“I’m glad I could be there.” He couldn’t see what happened next but he heard the door to the lounge open and close. Then Shepard came around the corner. “Garrus! Didn’t expect you out here.”

“Well, the bar was a little rowdy so I came back.”

“Oh…Sorry about that. It’s… well it’s not really my story to tell.”

Garrus nodded, suddenly his tongue felt too big for his mouth. He wanted to ask–was dying to ask. Shepard was watching him intently, like she was picking him apart.

“You alright, Garrus?”

“I was just heading back to the battery. I’ll catch you at the brief for the IFF.”

Shepard let him get a few feet before following him. He didn’t tell her not to. No point when she was like this. When the door closed behind them she took her seat. “I can tell you a little. The asari I met with was… extremely dangerous. Like lost her mind levels. We stopped her.”

The past tense did not escape him. “Shepard, you don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“I’m just telling you about the mission.” It was hard to concentrate with her still in the dress. He looked away and leaned back against the console.

“Right. Okay.” He crossed his arms. “If she was so dangerous, why was it just you and Samara?”

Shepard sighed, not like she was frustrated, more tired. “It was very personal to Samara.” She was choosing her words carefully. Diplomatically.

He hated it. Not because she was clearly trying to set him at ease but because he couldn’t do it on his own. She was worrying about his mood and he just couldn’t stop feeling this… not nerves. Frustration.

Garrus took a breath. Then another. “I trust you, Shepard. If you say you could handle it. I believe you.”

Then she smiled again. A small easy smile and suddenly all that stuff he saw didn’t seem so important. He felt a little ridiculous how easily he was ready to feel betrayed about nothing. He trusted Shepard to a fault. If she said she couldn’t talk about it she must have promised Samara. Shepard was here doing what she always did: be concerned about him. He was right, she didn’t owe him any explanation but she gave him what she could anyway. That meant something.

“I appreciate that you worry about me,” she said, barely audible.

“The whole crew worries about you. Literally all of us.”

She looked at the ceiling. “You know what I mean.”

“I actually do not but I won’t argue.”

It was Shepard’s turn to take a breath. “I…I can safely assure you I am not really into asari.”

“But you’re into turians?” He couldn’t stop the words and once they were out he felt a deep well of shame he tried to get a lid on.

Shepard nodded. “I am very interested in a specific turian, so I will say yes.”

Garrus tried not to perk up but the words did seem to turn some kind of release valve in his chest as the pressure there eased. “Shepard I–”

Shepard stood, still smiling. “I know. I’ll see you at the briefing.” She walked over to him and he remained perfectly still. Like maybe she wouldn’t see him if he didn’t move. Coming up right next to him she pressed her lips to the side of his mandible and he froze. “Not sure if you got to that part in your research. But consider it proof of how into that specific turian I am.”

He laughed. “Consider me assured. Just wish I hadn't needed it in the first place.”

She looked up with those big green eyes and said, like it was the easiest thing in the world, “Nothing is more important to me than your peace of mind.”

It was as she was walking away he realized he wanted to kiss her for real. Not because it was what turians did, but because it would convey the human intent behind it. Wasn’t that something?

But he’d wait. There was time.

Inside the derelict Reaper was a nightmare and it was, as always, a trap. They got a new crew member and the Reaper tech. He knew Shepard had wanted to get the human's off the dragon teeth--gain them back some dignity. Sadly, there hadn't been time. The whole place went down and they barely made it out with the geth that had Shepard's old armor on.

“It’ll take some time to figure out how to integrate the IFF into our systems.” EDI almost sounded excited.

Garrus and Shepard's were the last left in the briefing room--as always. The Commander stretched. “Could use a break before we head into–”

“There’s also been a message from Dr. T’Soni. She wishes for you to meet her on Illium. She believes she is ready to act on the intel you gave her.”

Shepard grinned as she pulled up the message on her datapad. “EDI go ahead and start working on the IFF but we are not installing it until I give the go ahead ok?”

“Understood, Commander.”

Shepard dimmed the screen. “You want to come along on Liara’s head hunt?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Garrus laughed.  "She's really got it out for the Shadow Broker, doesn't she?" 

Shepard frowned as she read through the message. "Out for him enough that she knows better then to say anything in her message to me."

Garrus looked over her shoulder. "How do you feel about Liara turning you over to Cerberus when she got you back."

"Not great. But... I'm back so I can't be too ungrateful. I wish she hadn't had to go through that." Shepard put down the datapad. "I feel guilty about everyone who mourned me. And I hate that."

Garrus nodded. "It wasn't your fault."

She smiled. "It was. But I don't regret it."

"I know."

Something always shifted in her demeanor when she talked about her time dead, and that explained it. Now her grave was empty but some of their friends were still there mourning-- Kaidan came to mind. Liara had been happy to see her but had been distant and calculating. On the flip side of that coin was him. He saw the miracle before him and couldn't say no. He imagined Joker had been the same. A chance to just be in her orbit again was worth it. Without her he had been listless, tired. At her side again he had found a who new will to fight.

As they got up to head for the elevator he fell in step next to her.

He gave her arm a playful nudge to lighten the mood. “Any bets on how many ‘by the goddess’s she says this time.”

“Be nice.” But she was laughing.

“I will. There had been a lot of talk that Liara’s become a dangerous information broker. Come a long way since she was falling all over herself to impress you while we hunted Saren.”

Shepard shook her head. “I assure you she had more of a crush on the Prothean tech in my brain then me.”

“Right.” They made it onto the elevator and he hit the button for the mess.

“Oh, you're jealous.” Shepard practically purred it.

That… was an interesting tone to say the least. “Is that a problem>”

Shepard grinned. “No. It’s not the healthiest sign you’re not just humoring me but I’ll take it.”

Garrus froze. Is that what she thought he was doing? Seriously? They got to his floor and before he got off he remembered a thing he’d seen in a vid Joker had sent him. Taking her hand gently, he bent a bit and lifted her hand, pressing the back of it to his mouth. “I hope we can find time to mutually assure each other of our intentions soon then.” Her mouth fell open and her face went red as he backed out of the elevator. She didn't even move, just let the doors close.

It was nice to leave her the tongue tied one for once.