Chapter Text
Stiles walks into his room, not knocking, not saying a word. He just walks in. It's something Derek's been working on, letting people in. In every sense of the word. Maybe stiles brought it to his attention, maybe he's noticed it before but whatever it was, it's taken a lot of getting used to.
Stiles sits on the edge of his bed. Back facing him while he looks out the door. They have a sort of unspoken communication. They just sit in each others presence and not worry about the world. Even though Derek has a living room full of werewolves downstairs, right now, the world is white noise. He listens to Stiles breath. He wonders when this became a thing, when he let Stiles into his personal space. When it was ok for him to do so. But it doesn't matter, his eyes slide shut. The steady thrum of "friend not foe, friend not foe." Is the constant, that is Stiles' heartbeat.
"I'm scared." Stiles whispers. His voice strong, yet shaky, like the wind. He wants to reply with "why? I'm here, what's to be scared of? I'll protect you, and Scott, my pack. I'll protect you better than I did my family. Better than I did Laura." But all that leaves his mouth is
"Of" mentally he beat himself up about it.
"Of werewolves, red eyes, claws, monsters, the dark." He says jokingly.
"Of losing the people I care about, dying, killing my father too, not waking up one morning, darkness, numbness, not being able to save you, Scott, Allison, Lydia, Ms. McCall. Being human, the unenviable near future. Of being brave." Stiles says with a sigh. His voice trailing off. So many things Derek can say to ease the boys nerves, but he doesn't, he eases his own.
"I can save myself." He replies. Stiles lays horizontally on his bed, on his back. Derek's heart stutters, they're so close, but he still won't touch. Stiles hums his response. It's enough for Derek, for now. Maybe one day Derek will tell him what he's afraid of, if he ever lets himself dwell on it for long.
That night he dreams, he dreams of his pack, finally happy. They're sitting downstairs laughing at some joke Stiles just told, they make eye contact and for the first time in a long time, he smiles. Derek really truly smiles."
"You smile in your sleep." Stiles says, rousing him from his rest.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it's nice. You look less menacing." Stiles smiles sitting up and crossing his legs underneath him. Facing him. Derek does the same. He lets his head rest on his headboard.
"We should check on the others." he says sliding his legs off the edge of his bed. Stiles reaches his hand out and places it on his shoulder. Derek glances at it. And back to stiles.
"Thanks." Stiles says. Derek nods, continuing his way out the door. Stiles follows suite. They make their way downstairs the pack instantly looking at them.
"Hey guys." Stiles says nonchalantly. They smile and make room for him in their pack huddle. Derek sits at the only available chair. A smile creeps up but Derek does his best to not show it.
"so what's on the agenda for today?" Scott asks. Derek looks at them trying to think of something for them to do.
"well Derek is going be his usual brooding sourwolf self, while you guys beat each other and heal. And I, I'm gong to watch, eat chips like a king and maybe bring you guys snacks." Stiles says first. He looks at Derek and smiles, warm and inviting like everything in the world just fades away. Stiles looks at home here like there's a piece of a puzzle that Derek tried relentlessly to fit, but now, finally it fits. They laugh. He smiles.
deja Vu'
Maybe one day Derek will tell Stiles what he's afraid of, but as for now he's going to sit here and bask in this familiar feeling.
feeling of family.