Chapter Text
For the most part, Darcy’s College Experience - so far - had been chock full of clichés.
She’d been checked out by members of the football team, been handed a flyer for a political rally pushing Culver to be more ‘green’, and gotten lost on the way to freshman orientation.
She just wished all the movies had covered more about the futility of 8 am classes, the difference a good professor could make, and the heady temptation to make bad decisions now that she was on her own and out from under her parent’s roof.
Well, that one had sort of been covered, but the sheer power of Independence had been undersold, she thought. Oh, and speaking of bad decisions, she had her first invite to a Frat Party.
Though it was less an invitation and more her friend Jane, who was a year older, telling her she had to go to one with her.
Apparently, it was a Thing. The first Friday night of the semester was a big deal and it was important to be out and about and seen by other people. It said something that Jane, who was one of her more socially awkward friends, was the one stressing the importance of cementing her place in the social order by attending.
Which meant she could totally blame Jane for the fact that she was standing in a strange kitchen, her hand tightly gripping her red solo cup of cheap beer, trying to keep herself from committing a serious party foul by strangling one of their hosts.
House Double Delta Beta was an infamous party frat, and tonight they were really trying to outdo themselves. Everything was shades of green and silver, the house colors, and there were walls of empty beer cans creating a sort of maze or post-alcoholic war zone. Occasionally, someone would fall into one, or get pushed into one, or fling their body purposefully into one and a huge cheer would go up as everyone grabbed the shaken cans and crack them open sending up fountains of foam and fizz that people ran through like lawn sprinklers.
She realized the wood floors and green plastic sheets draping the walls were probably more a survival choice than a decorative one. Whoever had to clean up after tonight's party would be hating life for days. Much like the hangover-sufferers and walk-of-shamers.
Darcy already knew her clothes would be going in the trash bin rather than the washer. She reeked of alcohol and she was only on her second beer. Her hair was drenched and dripping and her shoes were squishing uncomfortably.
Which isn’t to say she wasn’t having fun. She had been having quite a lot of fun until the bleach-blond douchebag to her left had started bragging to his friends about all the girls he’d banged and bailed on over the summer.
Jane had run to the bathroom, like 15 minutes ago, and Darcy was standing there waiting for her and every new story had her blood boiling a little more. Sure, he was kind of hot in a muscular, athletic way, and he had an accent, (something Eastern European maybe?), but every word out of his mouth made her want to kick him just a little harder.
“Then there was Tara. Totally hot, nice tits, long legs, near perfect ass,” he made all the appropriate hand motions as well, Darcy noticed. “But once I got her on her back, she went limp, like a dead fish, so I had to throw her back.”
His buddies made all the sympathetic noises and predictable jokes about more fish in the sea and Darcy’s forehead started to ache from scowling so hard.
“And Lacey! Big brown eyes, like Bambi, and her lips… She had one of those mouths that are made for sucking cock. She was totally insecure, too, so willing to please. Sooooooo I let her get on her knees for me a few times, but then she got so clingy and needy, like, she gives me a few blow jobs and she has the right to text and call me all the time… Such a drag!”
“There was a red-head, too. Bit of a butter face, but she was so flexible! She could so this thing where she put her leg clear up behind-”
Darcy didn’t even realize she was moving until she was standing right in front of him, looking up into his startled blue eyes.
“Yes, sweetheart? What’s your name? I could make a place for you on the list if you’d li-” he was saying and Darcy was seeing red. Her hand came up and she watched her beer splash into his face.
“Hey! Euro-trash Eminem Wannabe! You are a disgusting cretin, a total cliche of the worst of humanity. I can only hope that meeting you gave those poor girls the valuable life experience that will help them avoid any other assholes in the future, and I take comfort in the fact that your future most likely holds a beer gut, nasty divorce, and male-pattern baldness, and that someday you will look in the mirror and feel the same noxious loathing that I do in this very moment,” she told him, not yelling but speaking loudly and clearly enough for all his friends to hear.
Then she turned and stalked away before he could reply, and before her hands could start visibly shaking.
“What an asshole!” She muttered and pulled out her phone to text Jane and let her know she’d be waiting outside.
By the time Jane found her, she’d clearly finished another beer and done a shot or three, and was verging from buzzed and tipsy into full drunk, and since Jane was such a happy drunk, Darcy didn’t tell her about the encounter.
“Darcy! Darcy I love you and I’m so glad you are here! I wish we could be roomies!” Jane cooed, wrapping her arms around the curvy brunette and hanging off her side.
“Yeah, well, ditch those dumb sorority girls and we can,” Darcy teased, not for the first time.
“They aren’t dumb!” Jane protested, also not for the first time. “They’re all very smart and nice and fun. Wait till you meet them! You’ll love them just like I do!”
“Sure, Janey-bear,” Darcy said, only a bit patronizingly. She was so far wildly unimpressed with the Greek letter community.
“Selfie, Darcy! We need to communicate the moment-” Jane burped loudly then laughed. “I mean commemorate the moment. It’s your first Frat Party!” Jane raised her phone and pulled her face against Darcy’s, pressing their cheeks together. Their hair was wet and stringy from the beer foam fountains and Darcy had gone nose deaf long ago, which she thought was a small mercy, but when Jane beamed and ordered her to, “Say cheese!” she could only obey- pleased to be there with her friend and having a good time despite stupid boys and their macho, sexist bullshit being a huge buzzkill.
The phone made its fake shutter sound and they wandered on, neither of them noticing the stupid, macho, sexist buzzkill peaking over Darcy’s shoulder with a cheesy smirk, photobombing the girls like a pro.
Two days later, Jane was pounding on her dorm room door at 6 AM.
This was tantamount to suicide on Jane’s part because she knew Darcy wasn’t a morning person.
"Jane, the part of me that loves you is still asleep, so this had better be good, or so help me-" she growled through a mask of bedhead frizz.
"Darcy! How would you like to join Lambda Phi Lambda?" Jane blurted with more excitement than Darcy could physically tolerate at this hour.
She leaned back, hissing like a sunlit vampire and retreating to her bed. She crawled in and flung the comforter over her head. Once safely in the comfort of her sleep cocoon she asked, "Little lamb fry what?"
"My sorority, Darcy! You're being considered as a potential pledge! Do you know what that means?!" Jane squawked as she dropped next to Darcy on the bed.
"You want me to sell my soul and become a Stepford Barbie?" she answered grumpily.
Jane huffed. "The Lambdas aren't like that. We are all women who are smart, driven, and determined to make our mark on the world. We mostly take pledges that have high GPA's and are majoring in a STEM field, hard science and engineering and the like, but they occasionally make exceptions."
Darcy flopped her arms down and folded the covers back to expose her confused and scowling face. "So why are they interested in me? I'm Political Science, Jane. The softest of soft sciences."
"Yeah, well, that may be true, but you have all the other qualifiers. You're a 4.0, student body government and tons of extracurricular activities. Plus! You would get to move into the Lambda house if you got in. We'd be roomies and get to spend a lot of time together. All the other girls are so great, and they're really going to love you. You'll fit in so well! It's perfect, Darcy."
"Yes, Darcy, please, take your crazy friend and go bother the Lambdas," Darcy's roommate Kate mumbled from her own mass of comforter enshrined grumpiness.
Darcy sighed heavily and opened her eyes to take in Jane's glowing face. It was so hopeful and full of...hope. Fuck. It was too early for this shit.
"So, why do they want me? Did you tell them tales of my awesome and now they just can't wait to sign me on, or what?" she said with a sleepy smirk.
"Oh, well..." Jane hedged and Darcy's eyes popped open, narrowing in suspicion as her friend's eyes darted away. "I may have... implied... that you were seeing someone they know."
"What!?" Darcy shrieked, bolting upright. "You lied!? Isn’t that against your secret oath of sisterhood or something?! For shame, Janey-bear!"
Jane leaned back, startled by her sudden movement, and held out her hands defensively. "Just listen to me for a second, okay. I didn't lie, per say. I just didn't deny certain assumptions that may or may not have been made by a certain sister of mine..."
"Seriously! I will pay you to shut up and let me sleep," came from the other side of the room.
Darcy started to protest, then reconsidered, one eyebrow going up as she turned to look at her roommate. "How much we talking?"
Ten minutes and ten dollars later they were grabbing coffee and pastries at a food cart, Darcy in her Pillsbury Dough Boy Pajama Pants ( That’s How I Roll!) and her Thundercats T-shirt.
“Okay, tell me exactly what happened, Jane. Leave no detail un-splained,” Darcy ordered waiving her pastry in a ‘get a move on’ gesture as she sipped her coffee and felt the blessed caffeine flood her system.
“Okay, so I was showing the girls my photos from the party the other night, right? And when I got to the selfie we took just before I puked in the storm drain it turns out we were photobombed by one of the Double Delta’s. From the angle in the picture, it looks like he was supposed to be there and it turns out-” at this point Jane paused for Dramatic Effect which has Darcy rolling her eyes, “It turns out he is one of the Head of House’s twin brother and she was super excited that we knew him, because apparently he usually only hangs out with those Douchebags from his frat and she said it was so awesome that we were getting to know him and she hoped you guys hit it off and if you were the kind of girl that could help turn her brother around you might be Lambda material.”
“Wait. Your Head Barbie wants me to date her twin brother? Her twin brother who is one of those Dumb Double Delta Dipshits? I’m gonna pass, Jane. I love you and it would be awesome to live together even if it had to be in a Barbie Dream-house, but I can’t do it,” she insisted as she tore another chunk from her Danish.
“We get higher priority for STEM class registration. Plus, we know all the best professors and who to avoid. The house is rent free and we get a stipend for the cafeteria on campus AND the food court at the Student Union. Our faculty advisors are Elizabeth Ross and Maria Hill who both have connections in Washington. I know, I asked,” Jane argued, turning on Debate Team Jane who had decimated at THE Virginia State Debate finals.
“That’s fine, but I’m not going to hunt down some random guy and ask him out, Jane. That’s a thing Crazy Girls do.”
“Just listen, okay? Wanda said her brother is actually a super sweet guy. He’s only in the Double Deltas because their sponsor’s son is in the frat and he didn’t want to be rude and tell him he didn’t want to be in the same frat. Apparently, he and the son don’t get along very well, but he puts up with a lot of shit from the guy because he doesn’t want to piss the guy’s dad off. He’s at Culver on a Track and Field Athletic scholarship and he spent all summer training and working at an old folk’s home here in town to save up money. He is super hot, too.”
“Jane…” Darcy whined. Three of her four high school boyfriends had been on the track team. Jane knew runners were Darcy’s weakness.
“And it’s not like you actually have to date him! Just cozy up to him, maybe hang out a few times and get him to put in a good word with his sister. Maybe help him get his grades up. Apparently, he told Wanda he’s worried about losing his scholarship and getting expelled if he can’t get his GPA up,” Jane added, wiggling her eyebrows.
Jane also knew Darcy had been a student tutor for English and History, which is how she’d met her fourth boyfriend.
Darcy was a sucker for a dude in distress. She had a near pathological need to be helpful - hence the Political Science Major.
“Plus we do brunch every Sunday as a House, and Ross and Hill bring in a Massage Therapist for finals week every semester. And, we have a Jacuzzi tub.”
Fuck , Darcy thought.
Jacuzzi tub was definitely the clincher.
Curse Jane’s intimate knowledge of all of her Achilles heels.
She sighed and tossed her garbage into a public waste can. “What’s Wanda’s brother’s name? Is it Waldo?” she grinned maniacally while Jane gave a put upon sigh. “Please, tell me it’s Waldo!”
“It’s Pietro,” she admitted, her lips ticking up in repressed victory. “Pietro Maximoff. So, you’ll go talk to him?”
Jane always had been a bit of a gloater.
“I do look good in purple,” Darcy confessed, considering the royal purple and gold colors of the Lambda Phi Lambda house. She’d never seen herself as a sorority girl before, but she was warming up to idea. “I’ll swing by and check him out. No promises, Jane,” she snapped when her friend started wiggling and jerking in her atrocious, self-proclaimed happy dance. Happy seizure was more apt.
Because Jane had gotten her up so early, Darcy had an extra hour between getting ready for the day and heading to class, so she decided to spend it meeting their mystery photobomber.
The Double Delta house was fairly large, fairly green, and fairly trashed. There were still empty beer cans and tipped over plastic cups with pools of golden brew dribbling out scattered across the lawn, with the occasional article of clothing, shoe or crumpled trash for variety.
It was Monday morning and signs of their weekend party-a-thon were everywhere. She stepped past a guy passed out in a kiddie pool, after checking to make sure it was actually empty and the guy wasn’t going to drown, and then nodded to a couple of guys smoking a fat doobie under a large oak tree that was decked out with what she was pretty sure were women’s underthings-bras and thongs, mostly. Finally through the Gauntlet of Post Kegger Debris, she climbed the steps and took malicious glee in pounding loudly on the door, glad to be able to pass on the same pain she’d had to endure.
It took several minutes for someone to answer. When the door opened she was met with a wave of smell so atrocious, she said screw civility and put her hand over her mouth and nose to try and block out the scents of alcohol, pot, and vomit. She knew it hadn’t smelled that bad on Friday, so this odiferous masterpiece was probably a culmination of three straight nights of vice.
The face that greeted her was handsome, if a bit gaunt, and the guy's eyes were so bloodshot the whites were almost completely red.
“Yeah, cher?” He shook shaggy brown bangs from his face and not gave her an obvious once over. “Party’s over, petite, but maybe Remy can find the energy to start a new one with you, eh?”
Darcy gaped at the guy. Was he speaking about himself in third person? And did all the Double D assholes have accents? What was that, French? No, that wasn’t quite right. She had a sneaking suspicion they were all faking in an effort to draw in unsuspecting freshmen who though accents were hot.
“I’m looking for Pietro?” she asked, unsure, but trying not to look weak. Pussy hounds like these guys could probably sense insecurity three coeds away and preyed on it like sharks scenting chum.
Darcy was starting to realize just how terrible this idea of Jane’s really was.
Remy reared back his head and bellowed, “Piet!” at the top of his lungs and then winced and brought his hand up to press at his temple. There was only silence in response.
After a few seconds more, the hungover frat boy squinted at her and then looked past her to take in the early morning sunshine and the debris on the lawn. “Piet is probably sleeping off our Sunday celebration, Cherie, much as Remy wishes he were. You should come back later, non?”
“Uh, no-” Darcy started to say and then from inside there was a thump as someone rolled off the couch and onto the floor.
“Aw, head, no…” she heard muttered from within.
“I’ll just go…” Darcy stepped back, though her eyes were locked on the shaggy haired figure climbing painfully to his feet from where he’d fallen, rubbing his forehead gingerly.
“You’re looking for Piet?” croaked the guy as he straightened.
“She is smitten with his Sokovian charm, perhaps?” Remy smirked at the other guy before giving her another look over. “Or perhaps he has spurned her affections and she seeks retribution. Remy will gladly assist, and I would offer my services for physical comfort as well. My shoulders they are strong and can provide much support if you wish to rest your weary-” he glanced down at her thighs suggestively, “-head upon them.”
Darcy was just opening her mouth to tell the guy where he could take his shoulders, in addition to the rest of him, when blond and stumbly made it over to them. He smacked Remy across the back of his head and grumbled at him to, “give it a rest, already,” before shoving him away.
“Piet is on his morning run. He usually gets an early start, though, so he should be back soon,” New Guy said, leaning against the door jam, his eyes shut against the light. “You can wait if you want…” He cracked one blue-grey eye open long enough to notice her hand, still over her nose and mouth. “...Or I can just tell him you stopped by. Give him a message?” He left the question hanging.
“No, thanks, I think I’ll just…” she tried again, but the frat guy, somewhat less repellent that his brothers so far, caught sight of something behind her.
“Oh, there he is now.” He leaned out past her and shouted right in her ear in a way that made her eternally grateful she’d spent the night before going over her class syllabuses and filling out the schedule app on her computer and syncing it with her phone instead of getting wasted enough to incite the wrath of the party gods. “HEY PIET! HOT CHICK TO SEE YOU!”
Darcy turned around.
If Darcy’s life was a movie, this would be the moment where the slow motion filter would be used to most advantageous effect. Pounding feet on pavement had her eyes drawn to quick moving feet, clad in black and blue running shoes, at the end of shapely, muscled calves, dusted with dark hair that disappeared under the hem of a pair of light blue athletic shorts with silver stripes up the sides.
Her eyes moved up then, to the toned ridges of the guy’s eight-pack. That’s right, eight pack. Darcy knew. She’d counted. Then it was wide, flat pecs glistening with sweat in the morning light. Next were his shoulders, lean, but corded with hard muscles that flowed upward in graceful slopes to his neck and then his face.
It was a nice face, angular and sharp featured, and attractive with its overnight scruff and deep set, bright blue eyes, but it was also a familiar face with a shock of bleached hair flopping atop it with every step.
“Oh, hell no,” she declared reflexively, still stunned to see the love ‘em and leave ‘em guy she’d thrown her drink at on Friday night. “Nope!” she declared and turned to start walking across the lawn in the opposite direction.
Unfortunately for her, Pietro already knew she’d been there to see him, since his bro had announced it to half of campus and he was already moving faster than her. He jogged next to her as she stubbornly tried to ignore him.
“If you wanted to apologize for your rudeness the other night, you are doing it wrong,” he commented, not even out of breath, as he followed her down the sidewalk.
“My rudeness?!” She objected, turning her head enough to glare at him from the corner of her eye. “That is just- I can’t even- You’re an asshole,” she finally managed to growl out.
“And yet I find you at my door, seeking me desperately first thing in the morning. What is it you wish from me, дивља мачка*?” he teased, turning around and running backwards in front of her, the show off.
“From you? Nothing. Not a thing. This was a colossal mistake. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She said, avoiding eye contact and looking for a way around him. She could just turn and go a different direction, but that would be childish. Also futile. He seemed determined to annoy her.
He clutched at his bare chest and pouted. “You wound me, sweetheart. Seeing your beautiful face this morning raised my hopes that you might wish to reconcile. It is okay if you cannot say it. I forgive you for your abhorrent behavior towards me the other night.”
She slammed to a halt and glared at him then. “You forgive me? That’s rich. You really are unbelievable, you know that?” She put her hands on her hips and glared up at him. “I bet you think if you just pay me a little bit of attention, flash me your flirty smile and show off your rippling pectorals that I’ll just swoon and spread my legs for you, right? Well, I hate to break it to you, Draco Fuckboi, but I’m not like your typical chick-fodder.”
“No, you are not. You are a stuck-up, uptight, judgmental girl who is afraid to let her hair down and have fun,” he taunted and then started walking away, back towards the Double Delta house.
This time it was Darcy’s turn to chase him. Thankfully, he was no longer running and she was able to keep pace with him easily, her own stride full of defensive wrath.
“I am NOT afraid! I know how to have fun. I am fun! I’m all about letting my hair down and sewing my wild oats and making poor life choices in the name of getting down and dirty, but there is a huge difference between that and letting myself be used by a guy I KNOW would just throw me away and treat me like garbage so he could brag about it to his Frat brothers later!”
She stopped after she finished telling him off, which was fortunate, because he stopped walking as well and she might have smacked into him and gotten his sweat on her. Which, ew.
Pietro put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath, letting it out with a sigh. When he turned around she had her feet planted and her arms crossed, ready for a fight. Metaphorically speaking.
“You are right, of course. I apologize for what I said. It was offensive and cruel and no girl should ever have to hear a man speaking in such a way,” he admitted calmly and, for all appearances, sincerely.
Darcy just stood there, staring in shock. This was some kind of trick. Or a trap. What the hell!?
“What the hell!? If you know how shitty it is, why would you do that?” She demanded, her face hard and angry.
He shrugged and looked both guilty and sheepish as he stared at his feet. “I’m a Double Delta. It is expected.”
“That’s bullshit, and if you’re really actually sorry, I’m not the one you need to apologize to. You should be apologizing to those girls you were talking shit about.”
He sighed and squinted as he turned his face up, his face twisting with regret and... was that embarrassment?
“Unfortunately, I cannot do that,” he said eventually after his face settled down and his expression returned to its regularly scheduled smirk, though it was showing some strain around the edges.
Darcy snorted. “None of them will call you back, huh? Can’t say I blame them.”
He rolled his eyes and stepped closer, leaning down as if he was going to tell her a secret. “That is not why. I cannot apologize to these women because…”
“Because?” She asked pointedly, not backing down. For some reason she was determined to get him to admit his shortcomings. “You’re too big a chicken?”
He glared at her, then shook his head and growled in exasperation. “There are no women to apologize to, okay? None of those girls are real. Are you happy now? You have learned my deepest, darkest secret.”
Darcy could hardly believe her ears. “You’re deepest darkest secret is that you’re only lying about being a total prick? Which still makes you a liar and a dickhead, FYI.”
There was real anger in his eyes when he threw his hands up and turned to walk away, snapping his reply over his shoulder, “Some of us cannot afford truth and justice and the American Way.”
It was like a slap across her brain.
What had Remy said?
She is smitten with his Sokovian charm, perhaps?
God, she was such an idiot! The accent, Jane talking about his sponsor- she was so dense!
Darcy, of all people should know better. Sure, what he’d done was shitty, but it was pretty obvious he felt like he had some pretty real reasons.
“Pietro! Wait!” she called and chased him again. He slowed down, but didn’t stop. His face was blank, his jaw clenched, and he refused to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry, okay? You were right. I was being judgmental and I feel terrible.”
“I do not need your pity,” he said between clenched teeth.
“No, no… Would you stop for a second, please!” she pleaded, reaching out to grip his arm. “It’s not pity, okay? I still think what you did was epically douchey, but I… I get it, okay?”
He turned his head to study her for a moment before nodding. When his eyes fell on her hand on his arm his eyebrow went up.
She yanked her hand back and hid it behind her back. “Sorry. I- Just sorry.” Darcy winced at the awkward pause that followed. “Okay, then. Bye.”
After taking two steps he called after her. “Hey! Why are you here, anyway?”
Darcy froze.
“Oh, uh…” she tried to think of some reason that wouldn’t be horrible and embarrassing, given the fact that she’d already made a total ass of herself. Then she realized what a hypocritical bitch that made her and took a deep breath so she could turn around to face him. “It’s nothing! Don’t worry about it.”
“Oh no!” he said, stepping up to her again and leaning down slightly to look her in the eye. “I have told you my deepest darkest, remember? Fess up!”
“Okay, so… it’s a super dumb idea. I was only considering it because I only knew of Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin brother. I didn’t know you were… you. You know, the Euro-Eminem guy.”
“You know Wanda?” He sounded shocked and his brow shot up under his shaggy locks.
“Uh, no, actually, I’ve never met her.”
“Then… what?” he prompted.
“You remember how you photobombed me and my friend that night?” she asked, a bit accusingly, but without any real heat behind it. He nodded, looking even more confused and she continued. “Well, my friend Jane is a Lambda with Wanda. When your sister saw the photo of the three of us she thought… well, apparently she thinks…”
Realization dawned on his face.
“I know my sister. I can imagine what she thought, but that doesn’t explain why you are here looking for me. Unless…” he narrowed his eyes for a half a second, then his eyes lit up in a huge grin. “You wish her to continue thinking these things. And you need my help.”
The rush of blood to her face and neck was inevitable as much as it was annoying.
“Look, it was a dumb idea. Like I said, I didn’t know who you were. Let’s just forget about it, okay?”
He looked very smug and pleased with himself for figuring it out. “No, no, please. I wish to hear this.”
Darcy sighed. Hard. Harder than she’d ever sighed in her life.
“I will follow you until you tell me,” he warned, she scowled and he held his hands up defensively. “You said you feel bad. You can make it up to me, eh?” His next tactic after threats and guilt trips was puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
“Damn it!” Darcy cursed and knew she was defeated. How had she forgotten for even a second what a manipulative ass he was? “My friend Jane thinks if I can get close to you, and make a good impression with your sister, that I can get into the Lambdas. Which I don’t really care about, except I do, because Jane and brunch and shiatsu finals, but I can see now that you would be way too big a pain in my ass to make it worth it so…”
“You need me to let you be my girlfriend so my sister will make you one of her Rocket Science Barbies?” he summed up, interrupting her.
Darcy didn’t want to smile at Rocket Science Barbies, but she couldn’t help it. “Yeah, basically,” she agreed, trying to hide her amusement by looking away at something far more interesting than the way Pietro’s ab muscles twitched when he laughed. “It’s all Jane’s idea. Which is why it’s so awful. She’s the dumbest smart person I know.”
“Bullshit! She is a Lambda, she must be a genius. And you…” he said, suddenly considering her seriously as his teasing melted away. “You are very smart, too, I think, if Wanda will consider you.”
Shrugging, Darcy blushed again. “I do okay, but I’m a Political Science Major so…”
“Ah, I see…” he said as if he did see. “Very well, I agree. So, what is in it for me?”
“Did you miss the part where this is a bad idea?” she asked, dumbfounded by the ease in which he accepted the terrible Jane logic, and he’d never actually even met her.
“Is not bad idea. Is free exchange of goods and services. Is very American,” he argued, thickening up his accent just for kicks. “Yay capitalism! Everyone wins! I rub your back you rub my…”
Darcy slapped her hand over his mouth. “That’s not how that goes and you know it. And I can’t even consider this if you keep talking like that. So stop talking, okay?”
He nodded solemnly beneath her hand, but his eyes were flashing neon signs declaring Nothing But Trouble.
“Oh god, I can’t believe I’m even considering this!” she whined, eyes squishing closed and her heart racing at the idea of whatever this was. “Jane said Wanda said you’re having trouble with your grades?”
He frowned then but nodded again and she lowered her hand.
“I’m on academic probation. If I get any more D’s or F’s I’ll lose my scholarship, and maybe get expelled. Between track and the Frat I have a hard time studying,” he confessed after a moment’s hesitation.
“So quit the frat,” she said quickly. Pietro just shook his head and Darcy remembered what Jane had told her. “Right, that’s complicated because of your sponsor…” She figured he was in a precarious position with his status as a sponsored refugee and his student visa and his athletic scholarship all being in jeopardy.
She knew getting sent back home to Sokovia now would be as good as a death sentence.
“Your sponsor wouldn’t understand?” Darcy pried. He just glared at her and she rolled her eyes. “Fine, so I’ll help you keep your grades up and you’ll put in a good word with your sister, how’s that sound?”
Pietro pretended to consider it and then apologetically shook his head again. “Is no good. If we are not seen together my sister will know we are not really dating.”
“We’re not dating, so that’s okay.”
“Yes, but if we are not dating, then why would you help me? Wanda will know you are just sucking up to her. She hates brown-nosers,” Pietro concluded mournfully. “You have no choice but to date me!” he then declared triumphantly, ruining the sympathetic facade.
“We could just be friends,” Darcy contended.
“Alas, my sister knows me too well. I only have girlfriends, not girl friends. So you must be mine.”
“That’s disgusting, Euro-Eminem. You know that, right?” she asked, looking very displeased.
Nonplussed, he shrugged.
Her eyes were so narrow they were practically closed. “Pretend girlfriend only, do you hear? No funny business. I’m not really going to sleep with you.”
One side of his mouth curled up wickedly.
“We shall see, драги**, we shall see.”
Darcy lifted her phone from her pocket and checked the time.
“Shit, I’m going to be late for class. I have to go. I’ll… find you later, I guess,” she told him as she turned to leave.
“Yes. You should come by after 5. We’ll get dinner and discuss the details. Then I will pin you, yes?” he called after her.
“Stop talking!” she called back.
*дивља мачка= Wild Cat
**драги=Sweetheart