Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Underground Railnet was filthy, noisy, and all around unpleasant. Cal planned on entirely blocking out all of the annoying stimuli seeing as he was only here to survey the layout, to find any potential secret passages and report it back to Sirius who would pass it up to Solaris. There were other people here, so he tried to ignore them as he felt along the little cracks in the wall for any give.

They became increasingly harder to ignore when the casual chattering started escalating into raised voices. Cal felt the irritation as it began to boil beneath his skin, his jaw clenching and cheeks heating. Did they not know that this place echoed? Or did they, and just not care? Regardless, he grimaced as the shouts reached his ears.

“C’mooon, you’re always such a riot! I’ve never seen you turn down some fun before!” The voice was distinctly masculine, rough and easily the loudest.

“Yeah, and you look so stressed today. You need some R&R, honey. We got a good spot in one of Peridot’s alleyways!” The second voice sounded more feminine, something light and excited.

“Guys, I’m just really, really not feeling it today. I had a ton of people trying to challenge me today, most of them weren’t even eligible for a badge! And one took the loss pretty badly, and then my mom got involved…” The third voice he was able to pick up on sounded somewhere in the middle, and had a nervous edge to it at that.

“Which is exactly why you should take it easy! Come back and hang with us, you don’t gotta worry your pretty little head about anything.”

“I really shouldn’t,” The other voice laughed, a tinny high-pitched sound, “honestly I should really just get back home now. Super tired.”

“No way, you just got here!” The feminine voice chimed in again.

“Seriously. Any other time you’re practically falling over yourself asking us to hang out with you! C’mon, don’t leave us high and dry.” The rough voice followed.

“Yeah, quit bein' so damn weird about it.”

Cal grit his teeth. Couldn’t these chumps take a fucking hint? All of the voices started to blur into one and they fuzzed in his ears like wet static. He marched up to the group, fists clenched tightly at his side, his fingernails pressing into his palms, leaving crescent indents in their way. His steps came down heavy as he approached them, finally able to see them fully.

“Hey, fuckwads! He said he doesn’t want to hang out with your lame asses, so how about you get a fucking move on, huh?” The three turned to face him. One of them was slightly recognizable, something about that striking purple hair, but Cal couldn’t place from where. Maybe TV? It didn’t matter. The other two were much more ordinary looking, a man with blonde hair and a red jacket and a woman with black hair that matched her dress.

“And just who the hell are you?” The man walked up to him with a finger pointed at his chest. It took all of his willpower not to grab it and break it.

He wasn’t exactly known for his patience. He bared his teeth, grabbing the guy’s hand and squeezed his knuckles together. “Listen, shit-weasel, it doesn’t fucking matter who I am because you aren’t going to see me ever again. Because you are going to fuck right off and not bother him anymore. Am I fucking clear? Am I?”

The girl spoke up pretty quickly after, already looking ready to retreat. “Hey, chill the fuck out, man! We were just–”

Cal’s burning gaze snapped over to her. “Just what? Being pieces of shit to some guy who clearly doesn’t want to fucking go anywhere with you? The more you talk, the more you’re pissing me off. Now get the fuck out of here before I put both of you beneath the fucking dirt!” He wrenched the man he was holding by his arm, pulling him closer before shoving him away hard enough to make him stumble.

“You’re fucking crazy, man!” The blonde man yelled at him, before both of them backed up and scampered out of the Railnet back into the Peridot Ward.

He shouted back something unintelligible to even his own ears, not wanting to let them get the last word. He turned to the only person left from the group, the one the other two were pestering. “You okay?”

The man laughed, sounding a bit awkward, and fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeves. “Sure, I’m all better now that I’ve got a knight in scorching armor at my rescue. Thanks, sweetie.”

Cal scrunched up his nose. “Those punks just shouldn’t have been talking to you like that. You clearly didn’t want to go with them. I don’t know why they couldn’t just take a fucking hint.”

He shrugged. “They’re friends of mine. I’ve run with them before, just didn’t feel like it tonight. Sometimes a guy just wants to get some air, y’know? I’m Cain, by the way.”

“Cal. And you’ve got some shitty friends.”

“Eh, you can’t really be picky around here. And they aren’t that bad, besides, it’s not like they stick around very long anyway.”

“I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere.”

Cain laughed again. “That’s never a good thing to hear.”

Cal shook his head. “No, I’m serious.” He ignored Cain’s mumble of “so was I” in favor of trying to piece together the familiarity in his head. “LaRue? You’re the new poison leader, right? I think I saw you in an interview once.”

“Oh, wow, really? I didn’t know anyone even watched those things,” he laughed. “But, yep, that’s all me. I just took the position recently, so I don’t blame you for not knowing right away. Sorry to make you play hero when I could’ve handled it myself.”

“Even if I did know, I still would’ve stepped in. Those fucks needed someone to verbally burn them to a crisp and it would’ve been pathetic as fuck of me to just stand around and let them bother you. You probably could’ve handled it yourself, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you should have to.”

“What a gentleman, you’re going to make me blush. Are you a league challenger then?”

Cal froze, confusion flashing across his face before he remembered he was asked a question. “No, uh, actually, I’m in the fire-type gym leader position right now. Pretty new myself.”

“Huh! Isn’t that something? I don’t watch much TV, and I never open the mail Ame sends us, so I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to what’s happening in the league.”

“Really? I didn’t know Ame sent us mail.” She likely sent it to the house where he was still legally a resident, and he made damn sure not to go back there if he had anything to say about it.

“Sometimes, when it’s important. I just take on challengers that manage to wade their way through the waste and actually end up at my house. If she needs me for anything else, well, she knows where I live.”

“The waste? So you live in Byxbysion?”

“Uh-huh. We keep the gate locked unless we get special clearance to unlock it or I have someone coming to battle. Minimize accidents that way.”

He’d never been into the Byxbysion Wasteland before, the thought made his stomach roll. “It’s gotten that bad?”

Cain shrugged. “Yeah, it works out in my favor, I guess. Not a lot of people know how to handle my arena and it usually sends them packing.” He walked over to one of the stony walls and leaned against it. “I wasn’t making it up when I said I should probably get back home, though. Can’t leave everyone waiting!” He laughed again. It was bitter.

“You don’t sound too thrilled about that.”

“Ah, well, I came out here for a reason, didn’t I? It’s nice to get away, but I’ll always have to go back.”

Cal knew a little too much about that. “Nobody’s making you.” He also understood far too well that it didn’t work as easily as that.

Cain looked like he wanted to say something else, but he pressed his lips into a thin line and slid down the wall until he was sitting. “I’m gonna sit here for a bit and decompress. You mind keeping me company for a bit, cutie? Unless you’ve got somewhere else to be.”

He did. And he should leave. He didn’t even know this guy, even if they had similar affiliations. He had to get back and make his report. He didn’t have time for this. But Cain seemed to be one of the few decent people he’d met in the city besides Shelly, so maybe he should count his blessings. “Sure, whatever.” He sat down next to him, keeping a couple feet of distance with his back against the same wall. “You just invite any stranger to sit in a shit-hole with you?”

“Nah, just the pretty ones.” Cain angled his shoulders towards him, his tone goading and teasing like he swiped through a collection of words in his mind and selected the perfect words to get a rise out of him.

It worked, and Cal flushed pink. “Are you fucking with me?” He narrowed his eyes at him.

“Not yet.”

“What does that even mean?”

Cain shrugged, a smirk tugging at the corner of his pouty mouth. “Whatever you want it to mean.”

Cal scoffed and shook his head. “You’re weird.”

That earned him a laugh, something melodic and reminiscent of those Chimecho-styled decorations he saw when he was a kid. Cain looked at him with a smile. “You don’t know the half of it. Relax, I’m just messing with you.”

Cal didn’t have much footing to stand on there. He was pretty weird, too.

Cain sat by him for a while, breathing easy and occasionally closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall. He left around ten minutes later with a sigh and an easy smile. He gave Cal a brisk wave when he exited the Railnet, balancing on the ruined tracks like a tightrope. It was the first time Cal noticed that Cain’s shoes were taller and bulkier than any that he had ever seen. He didn’t even bother looking around the rest of the Railnet before leaving shortly after, too.

He would probably pay for it later, but that was later.

He definitely paid for it later. Blake was spinning in a worn down office chair while Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose and stared Cal down like he personally wanted to bury him.

“What part of ‘we need to know the Underground Railnet inside and out’ did you not understand, Canis Minor?”

Cal grit his teeth. He should’ve gone back after Cain left and kept looking around the area, but he just couldn’t be fucking bothered. There was something about the way Cain asked him to just sit next to him for a few minutes that made him not want to linger after. Like he didn’t deserve to.

He said none of this. Instead, he opted for, “I understood, sir. Something came up while I was down there. There were people, and had I continued they would’ve grown suspicious considering I’d already drawn their attention.”

Blake kicked a foot up on the table to stop his chair from swiveling and sneered at Cal. “You fuckin’ suck at stealth, bro. I bet you started screamin’ at them like a banshee ‘cause they looked at you funny. Idiot.”

“Shut the fuck up, Blake. Nobody was fucking talking to you!” He bared his teeth, feeling his anger set to an immediate boil beneath his skin. Blake only laughed at him and kicked off against the table to spin himself faster.

Sirius cleared his throat. “You will go back and you will get what we asked of you. If you do not, it will not be me you will have to answer to, but Solaris. Do whatever you have to, but do not come back empty handed again. We need the layout. I want every wall, every crack in the floor, every crevice. Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir. I understand.” He was two seconds from flying off the handle and going for Sirius’s good eye.

Cal went back to the Railnet regularly after, walking along the silent, abandoned pathways that would’ve allowed for convenient travel through the city before the earthquakes tore everything up. He didn’t see Cain there again for another two weeks, though. It was enough time that the other leader was finally starting to leave his mind. Any hope of that was immediately dashed when he felt around one of the breaks in the wall and saw him nestled inside, nearly entirely swathed in shadow.

He yelped and flinched back. Cain mirrored him in doing the same, pressing himself further against the wall in shock. “What the fuck! What are you fucking doing in there, you–”

“I should ask you why you’re digging around in the Railnet walls! Jeez, can’t a guy get some privacy? Find another crack if you want one so bad.”

“I don’t want a crack, why did you want a crack?”

“I wanted this crack because it gives me peace and quiet. Nobody comes over here. Except for hot fire-type leaders, apparently.” Cain might’ve winked, Cal couldn’t tell with the lights and the fact that only one of his eyes was visible with his hairstyle.

He was grateful that the blush that immediately flared up wasn’t noticeable in the dim light, either. “What the fuck does that mean?” He didn’t sound as annoyed as he tried to project.

“Means whatever you want it to mean, cutie. Now, are you gonna come in and hang out with me or keep standing there starin’ like I’m gonna give you a rash if you get too close to me?”

Cal sputtered, “W-what? I don’t think you’re gonna give me anything. Why are you so weird?” He stepped into the crevice and immediately noticed it was a little bigger than what he initially thought. Two people could fit comfortably in here even if there wasn’t much wiggle room, but a third would definitely push it to be cramped. He sat down so he wasn’t looming over Cain, still unable to read his expressions in the dim light.

“If I’m weird then what does that make you? You just crawled into a hole with me. In the dark. Ooooh, so romantic…” Cain wiggled his fingers at him and laughed as he spoke.

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.” He couldn’t help but laugh, too. If anyone else said anything like this to him, he’d be blistering with anger and mouthing off and shouting ten seconds ago. He couldn’t place why Cain was any different.

“What, am I making you nervous?” Yes.

“No, but you’re going to piss me off in a minute.” Not quite.

“Ah, my bad. Don’t want to scare off my good company. Say, what brings you over here, anyway? I was serious when I said nobody comes down here. Not this deep, anyway. It’s been my hiding spot for a good while.”

“Uh, just… just wondered what was down here. It seems dangerous for most people, I guess I was just curious.” He’d made a mental map of the area by now. There were a couple hidden passages, hallways, twists and turns that stretched on for what felt like miles underground. All of this was going back to Team Meteor. Cal almost felt guilty about it.

He was barely able to see Cain’s smile from the way he inched forward. “The danger of this place is what makes it so safe.”

“How so?”

“Nobody can come running to track me down. Not unless they wanna break their ankle or something.”

Cal hummed in response. He didn’t really know what to make of that. Cain talked about using the Railnet as a means of getting away from everything, but to really hide somewhere to be so certain that nobody could find you tugged at something in his brain that he couldn’t name.

Cain fidgeted in the silence before speaking up again to fill the air. “No need to look so serious, it’s okay! It’s nice and quiet here, isn’t it? Calm. You don’t get a lot of this in the city.”

No, not really. Reborn City was loud, messy, and chaotic. The earthquakes devastated it beyond belief. “Definitely a big change.”

“From?”

“Oh, uh, from Ametrine. That’s where I’m from.”

Cain shot forward, his hands planted on the ground. “No way! This whole time I thought you were a local I just missed somehow. What are you doing down here? It definitely isn’t for the air quality. Or the water quality. Or the housing. Or the–”

“I get it, I get it. Yeah, I don’t really know either.” He was here because Team Meteor assigned him here and he needed to prove that he wasn’t worthless. Cain couldn’t know that.

“Heck of a choice.” Cain tried to stretch out his legs, accidentally kicking Cal with his heavy boot in the process. He barely flinched, but pulled his leg back out of the way. “Oops. Not used to having someone else in here with me. The dark usually doesn’t matter very much.”

“It’s fine. I barely felt it.”

“Oh, a tough guy? Color me impressed.”

“Not- not like that. I’ve just been around enough that a little kick doesn’t bother me.”

Cain hummed. “You get kicked around a lot?”

Cal stared at him.

His lack of a response seemed to make Cain re-evaluate. “Sorry, stupid question! Don’t answer that. I just meant, do you get into a lot of fights, then?’

“I think you can probably answer that for yourself. I nearly got into one when we first met. I would’ve, too, if they didn’t leave when I told them to.” Cal clenched his fists and resisted the urge to slam his knuckles into the stone. The thought of them was enough to make him seethe. “Stupid fucks.”

“Hey, don’t worry about them. They don’t matter. I’m here with you and not them right now for a reason.” Cain leaned in slightly, close enough that their shoulders were a hair's breadth away from touching.

Cal shook his head. “I didn’t do that because I wanted your attention on me instead. I just didn’t think you deserved to be treated like that. With fuckers disrespecting your boundaries and ignoring you when you said no.”

Cain was silent for a beat. Then another. And after a while Cal realized he wasn’t going to respond at all.

“Did I say something wrong?”

Cain lowered his head to rest it on his knee. “No,” he let out a weak laugh. “Kinda the opposite, actually.” He drew circles on the floor with a finger. “My boundaries aren’t something people care about very often. Not their fault, really, because I always want them to think it’s okay. That no matter what I’m always down for whatever.”

“But you aren’t.”

“Eh, sometimes. I like to have fun and I like when people think I’m having fun. It might sound stupid, but at least that way they don’t try to look too deep into it.”

It was Cal’s turn to be silent. He let his head rest against the wall, stretching out one leg to let his shoe bump against Cain’s boot. It was weird being this close to someone.

“I think I get it. Having to control someone's perception of you before they start trying to figure you out. Making up their mind before they make it up for you.” He understood it. He understood it in his own way, of fighting every single day to make sure he was so distinguishable from Blake that nobody could tell they were related. And every day they did well to remind him that he failed. Always being referred to as Blake’s younger, weaker brother regarding his status as a trainer, even as a gym leader. Hell, his own code name symbolized him as the lesser half of a greater whole. It made him sick.

Cain’s gaze flicked up to rest on his face. Cal suddenly felt a little scrutinized. Maybe that was a little too much. But then Cain smiled, a real smile, and Cal’s lips twitched in a herculean effort to smile back. He was so used to scowling, these days.

Cal brought the Railnet layout on a messily scrawled map back to their hideout in Yureyu HQ. Marked on it were hidden rooms and hallways, as well as notes for significant damage and which places were harder to traverse on foot than others. The power in the building was still shot, so they relied on lanterns and flashlights when they needed to read and discuss things. Cal usually opted for one of his Pokemon to stay near him and assist him as a light source, but not everyone else had that luxury.

Sirius looked considerably more pleased this time, taking his report in large hands and examining it with a hum of thought here and there. “Not terrible. Stand down and tend to your gym while we prepare your next assignment.”

“I have to go back up north?”

“What else did you expect? We have nothing that requires you at this time.”

“I figured I’d keep surveying the city. Maybe there’s something we haven’t caught yet.”

“We already have Ace on the ground, and they are much better at being discreet than you are. You are to return to your gym, Canis Minor.”

Cal frowned. Going back up north meant he wouldn’t be able to see Cain anymore. Not unless he was given another assignment in the city, at least. He also wouldn’t be able to see Shelly as much. He didn’t like either of those.

“I haven’t gotten a challenger in weeks,” he pushed.

“Are you disobeying a direct order? You aren’t needed here right now. You’d be more of a liability with how volatile you are. We’ve been over this.”

“What if Ace or ZEL need assistance with something? More hands won’t hurt.”

“We have plenty of grunts for that. Why do you insist on staying in the city?”

“I think– no, I know I can be more useful here than shuffling my fucking feet in a gym building nobody even gets to. They notify me when I have a challenger on the way, anyway, so it isn’t a problem just to fly back if it happens. I have leads and connections sprouting here you don’t even have a fucking clue about, and I’ll be damned if you make me squander those just because you don’t think I’m fucking good enough.” He didn’t like leveraging his blossoming friendships like this, but if it kept him stationed in the city… he was grasping at straws, at this point. He still felt guilty.

If it was possible for Sirius’s frown to deepen, it would have. “And is that any way to speak to your superior?”

“You don’t listen any other way.” That definitely seemed to piss him off more. There wasn’t to be any infighting within Team Meteor, but Sirius looked like he wanted to do nothing more than to feed Cal to his Seviper in that moment.

“Your hotheadedness will be your undoing, boy, but so be it. Stay here in the city, see what you can find out. Any weak spots we can exploit and utilize are to be reported to myself or another admin immediately. Any shortcomings will have you sent back to your original post. Am I understood?”

Every time Sirius asked that, Cal wanted to charge him. He resigned himself to a sigh and too much pressure on his teeth. “Understood, sir.”

Sirius waved him off after that, turning back to compile the documents into a folder for Ace to digitally process under candlelight.

Cal thought they needed better hideouts.

Chapter Text

Cal used his time in the city to keep meeting with Cain in the Railnet. Sometimes by accident, sometimes he went there intentionally hoping to find him. He tried to both ask and answer to himself: why? He wanted to understand why he wanted to see Cain again and sit with him and talk about nothing. Why he was drawn to the way so many of his smiles were easy, like they were painted on, and how quickly he could act like everything was under control, even if the pinch of lines between his eyebrows dared to indicate otherwise.

Cain seemed amicable to spending time with him, too. He always offered for them to walk to his little hideout, that same small room in the wall, carefully moving over the massive cracks in the ground every time. Sometimes he’d be sitting by the tainted water at the entrance to the Railnet, his heavy boots hanging mere inches from the toxic surface. He’d perk up when he saw Cal, having been pulled out of whatever reverie he’d been in, and take him deeper into the Railnet. Cal would follow him without fail every time, enthralled by that melodic laugh and the way his boots echoed like drum beats.

Cal started bringing a lantern down that he’d nabbed from one of Team Meteor’s hideouts with less power supply. It was easier to navigate the tiny room when they could actually see what they were doing. It also, Cal had discovered, illuminated Cain’s features in a way that made his stomach twist. He couldn’t put a name to it. It was comfortable, despite every dig of wood, steel, and stone jammed into that small room that they couldn’t seem to escape no matter how many times they pushed it aside.

Cain liked to talk. He talked pretty often, too. There was always something new, and Cal would hang onto every word like it was the most interesting thing he’d heard all day. Which was usually true. In between boring Meteor meetings he didn’t care about and the idle buzz of frustration constantly thrumming beneath his skin, having something else to focus his attention on was a welcome relief. They didn’t talk about anything that deep the past few times they had met, but Cal felt like Cain might understand him on a level deeper than just the surface. And he rarely got to meet people like that.

Sometimes they didn’t talk at all. Some days they sat, shoulder to shoulder, while Cain hummed a tune and picked at one of the various non-perishables Cal had started bringing down for them to eat. He started doing that after the day they had been in the Railnet for upwards of three hours and Cain’s stomach started growling. Little by little, the room began to feel more like a proper ‘hideout.’ It was more comfortable than any of the Meteor bases by a mile.

He decided to stop by Shelly’s gym with a bag of snacks. He knew which ones were her favorites, and he sort of owed her for being off the radar for a while. She welcomed him in with her usual timid smile, her lilac eyes bright with joy as she saw him and the rather sizable bag he was holding.

“C-Cal! It’s really good to see you… I was starting to wonder if I- if I did something wrong.” Her voice was small, and she tugged on her long braid like somehow she’d be able to pull it over her face like a curtain and hide away. She reminded Cal a little bit of a Clamperl like this.

“What? No way. You could never do anything wrong, Shelly. You’re my friend.” He bit down on his lip hard. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“No, it-it’s okay! I really should be better at that. I know you have other things to do, and so do I, but it’s hard to remind myself sometimes…” Her voice trailed off.

“Well, I’m here now, right? I wanted to see how you were doing, and this whole bag is pretty much for you. C’mon, let’s sit down.”

She smiled, her nerves seemingly settled for now, and politely picked through the bag. She offered some to him, she always did, and he always accepted because he couldn’t dream of disappointing her. Even over something as little as this. He couldn’t fathom how so many other people had treated Shelly like she was less than deserving of kindness.

Shelly immediately trailed off into talking about the collection of books she’d been reading lately, the current one laying in her lap with a green bookmark safely marking where she’d left off. He listened intently, even if he understood less than half of it.

“So, uh, you don’t have to answer this or anything… but where have you been recently? I know you’ve been busy, but I’ve been really c-curious!”

Cal flushed deep enough to rival his hair. The artificial red meeting the natural heat in his face that probably looked like the perfect replica of a Tamato berry. “Oh. Um. I sorta met somebody? I made a friend. I think. I think we’re friends.”

Shelly gasped, her eyes shimmering as her smile grew. She grabbed onto one of Cal’s hands with both of hers. “R-really? That’s amazing! I’m so happy to hear you h-have another friend! Oh, you have to tell me about them, please? What are they like? Are they in the league, too?”

“Yeah, he is, actually. He’s the new poison gym-leader. His name’s Cain, I don’t know if you’ve heard much about him.”

She looked to the side, apparently deep in thought. Shelly had a pretty good memory, especially if it was something she’d read before. “I think I’d heard about him before, but I’m not sure. I know he came after Heather’s dad quit and that was pretty recent… but I don’t know much else.”

Cal leaned into the couch cushions. “Not too surprising. He’s new, and sorta keeps to himself. We hang out sometimes, and we talk, and I feel like he’s got so much more going on than he lets on.”

Shelly raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. We talk and stuff, and I always try to look at him when we do. Then I see his eyes, and it feels like there’s a whole world of mystery behind them that my stupid fucking brain couldn’t even comprehend.”

“Please don’t say that stuff about yourself, Cal. You- you aren’t stupid. Have you, um, ever thought that maybe he thinks the same? If he’s spending time with you, maybe he wants to know more about you, too? Maybe he’s nervous about being v-vulnerable… but if you two are friends, m-maybe you can just let him know that it’s okay!” Shelly halted her sudden spill of words, likely because she saw him getting lost in thought. “Cal?”

“I’m listening, Shelly. Sorry. You’re probably right, I’m just no good with any of that shit.”

“You seem to really want to stay his friend, though, and you want to get to know him better. So maybe it’s worth trying? Even if it’s scary… I still get nervous taking challengers sometimes, but I still do it! So you can, too.” She smiled at him, bright and encouraging and full of hope. He didn’t deserve to have her as a friend, really. “This is like taking on a challenger but with your words, kinda?”

He snuck another one of her snacks, which he didn’t need to do at all since she offered them readily, and playfully ruffled her hair. “Has anyone ever told you that you are way too damn smart? Not just with books, either.”

She sputtered, suddenly bashful. “I- I don’t think I’m all that great. I was just saying what I thought. That’s- that’s all.”

“C’mon, don’t downplay yourself. You’re way smarter than me, at least.”

“Well, I w-wouldn’t say that…”

“I’m taking this damn snack bag out of here if you don’t agree with me. You are smart.”

Shelly ducked her head, reaching out to grip the bag in one small hand. “Fine… I’m a little smart.”

That was probably the best he was going to get out of her, realistically. He tried to help build up her self-esteem but it was hard when everyone else around her seemed to look right past her entirely. He liked to remind her of positive things when he could, at least.

They kept talking. Cal told her more about Cain and Shelly excitedly talked about her recent hangout with Heather. It only took a handful of minutes before she was bringing up the idea of all four of them hanging out in her gym.

“I’d really like to meet him sometime, he sounds so nice.”

“He is. I think you two would get along well. He’s sorta got this knack for making you feel relaxed no matter what’s going on. He’s just easy to be around. I really…”

“Hm?”

Cal shook his head. “I’ll talk to him. See if he wants to come by sometime.”

“Oh, good! Hey, um, don’t forget about the other stuff, too!”

He turned away, a flush creeping up at his cheekbones. “Right. I won’t forget.”

Cal kicked aside some debris as he walked through the Railnet hallways with Cain. Sometimes he wondered why nobody had come down here to try and gather it up. He guessed they had bigger issues on their hands than a fucked up railway. He pressed his hands into his pockets and looked over to Cain who was humming some tune he couldn’t identify.

“Y’know, the acoustics are really good in here.” Cain remarked, balancing on the ruined tracks pathing the way to the room like he tended to do.

Cal shook his head with a quiet laugh. “Sure, you could say that. Here, you get inside first.” He gestured towards the fissure in the wall that opened into the room.

Cain tossed him a smug smile. “What, you want me to go first so you get a good view from behind?”

“My foot is going to go up your behind if you don’t shut the fuck up. Go, get in the room.” A furious blush shot up Cal’s neck and colored his face.

Cain laughed and clambered in. He tucked himself against the wall and fumbled for the lantern. Cal followed suit, settling in next to Cain close enough that their thighs touched. There was some room for him to scoot over, but he was comfortable where he was.

They quietly shared some snacks together before Cal spoke up again. “Hey, you know Shelly? The bug gym-leader?” He stretched his legs out until they almost touched the other side of the small room.

“I’ve heard of her. Real young, right? I’ve never met her, but she’s pretty impressive!”

“She is. Actually, I’m friends with her. We hang out about as much as you and I do. She, uh, she actually wants to meet you.”

“Really? Gosh, what’d you tell her about me?”

“Nothing much. Just that you’re cool. Between the two of us we don’t have many friends, so she’s always excited to make new ones.” Cal fussed with the cuffs of his sleeves. He wanted to introduce Cain as his friend, but was that the right word to describe what they were? Did Cain see it that way?

Cain interrupted his train of thought before it got out of hand. “That’s adorable, actually. I’d love to meet her sometime! Her gym is in Lapis, yeah?” His voice was sweet, excited.

“Yeah. It’s pretty alright, all things considered. But if someone starts trying to bother you, I’ll make them eat concrete.”

Cain laughed, covering his face with his hands. “Cal, you act like I’m some sort of celebrity with stalkers around every corner trying to get a piece of my hair or something. The only people that bother me are people I’ve messed around with before that I don’t want to mess around with anymore.”

“That’s still–”

“Shush.”

He frowned. “Fine.”

A wicked grin crossed Cain’s face. “You know, that ‘knight in scorching armor’ thing I said when we first met was meant to be a joke, but the longer I know you, the more true it feels. It’s kind of cute.”

Cal flushed. “You throw that word around way too easily.”

“What, cute? Well, you are. Everyone’s kinda cute.”

“Uh-huh. You really think that?” He looked away to hide the blazing heat in his face.

“I know that!” Cain smiled at him and gently kicked at his foot to get his attention. “Hey, so, when are you taking me to meet Shelly?”

Cal tossed a leg over Cain’s to stop the annoying nudge of his boots. “Whenever you want, really. I don’t know how frequently you go to Lapis, but the people there kind of suck. They act like they’re so much better than everyone when they’re in the same shit-boat everyone else in the city is.”

Cain shrugged. “Yeah, that tends to happen. I mean, before Byxbysion got overloaded with the waste it was sorta like that, too. My mom only moved us there ‘cause rent’s cheap. Made my type really easy to pick up, though.”

“Picking up fire-types in Ametrine kind of sucked. The ice is so strong it softens all the heat.”

“I guess that makes you a stronger trainer for it, right? Pretty cool, no pun intended.” Cain’s smile softened and Cal’s heart leapt in his throat.

He cleared his throat. “It’s whatever.”

Cain nudged his shoulder. “C’mon, give yourself more credit. You were good enough to qualify for the position and you’ve got friends to vouch for you! I mean, I haven’t seen any of your battles, but Ame let you in for a reason.”

“You’re real hard to argue with, you know that?”

Cain nudged him again and stuck out his tongue. “Of course I do. It’s my specialty.”

Cal scoffed and flicked his ear. “Your specialty is being a pain in my ass. We should figure out when we’re going to Lapis.”

Cain made a face like he was about to make a joke out of that, but ultimately decided against it. Cal was grateful, because he had no idea how he would’ve handled that teasing tone without overheating like a poorly maintained power grid.

They went later that week. The Lapis Ward was not nearly in as much disarray as some of the others, but there were still massive cracks in the ground. No real way to get around that.

He peered over at Cain, his gaze flickering down to his hands briefly. “Did you repaint your nails?”

Cain flashed the new coat of black polish. “Yep! They were super messed up, and this seemed like a nice occasion to fully fix them up. First impressions and all.”

He laughed a little at that. “First impressions? Cain, she’s like half our age, I doubt she’d care if your nail polish was chipped. She’ll think you’re cool no matter how you look.”

“Cal, I could be meeting something as tiny as a Joltik and I’d still want to look my best.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you hang out with me.”

Cal rolled his eyes, but he didn’t have a counterargument. He liked hanging out with Cain. He wouldn’t bring him to meet his only other friend if that wasn’t the case.

Their walk through the area went without any hiccups, and with Cain occasionally making snarky comments about the attitude of the Lapis Ward residents at a volume that only Cal could hear.

Cain put his hands on his hips with a low whistle. He glanced up and down at the large building that marked Shelly’s gym. “Pretty cool to have a real gym building. Mine’s just in my house,” he laughed.

“Did you want it there, or was that just how it happened?”

“Well, they started to build an actual one a while back, but the waste makes for a pretty unstable foundation. I figured I’d cut my losses and just get an arena in the house.”

“Oh. That makes sense, yeah. Hey, so–”

“Hi, Cal!”

He was interrupted by a lightning fast ball of pink and white running out of the gym, with a wide-eyed Shelly trailing behind.

“Heather, hey! I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“My dad was being annoying again, so… surprise sleepover. It’s gonna be so much fun! Who’s your friend? He’s really pretty. Wait, I think I recognize you from somewhere!” Heather planted her fists on her hips and squinted at Cain.

Cain looked a little awkward, and it was evident in the laugh that bubbled from him. “Hey, I’m Cain. I’m, uh, I’m Cal’s friend. He brought me over to meet Shelly.”

Shelly, having moved from where she initially stood behind Heather, looked at both of them with wide eyes and a tiny smile. “Oh, you’re Cain! Wow, Cal’s told me a lot about you. Um, only- only good things, though, I promise.”

“Good to know. Glad all of our cuddling in the Railnet didn’t go to waste.”

Shelly glanced at Cal, confused. “Wait, huh?”

Cal screwed up his face and looked at Cain, because he clearly did not have the answer for that. Cain only shrugged, the expression on his face entirely too smug. He sighed. “Let’s just go inside, yeah? And there was no cuddling, he’s just being annoying.”

Cain barked out a laugh and followed them in.

Heather put him to work in helping set up a pillow fort for her and Shelly later, so he focused on that while Cain and Shelly sat a little bit away and talked.

“You know, um, a lot of people are scared of bugs because they think they’re all poisonous, but they never really use that poison unless s-something’s threatening them! I don’t think it’s very fair at all.”

He saw Cain nod out of the corner of his eye. “You’re totally right! And poison can be useful for a lot of things, I know all about it. We got lots of little poisonous bug-types in the Wasteland, they’ve never bothered me much. They’re just trying to live, same as us.”

Shelly’s eyes lit up. “Mhm! I have a lot of books about different bug behaviors, but, um, I d-don’t think you’d actually want to hear about all of that, sorry. I just got really excited,” she giggled.

“Of course I want to hear about it! Sure, maybe it’ll go in one ear and out the other ‘cause I’m no bug specialist, but tell me what you got! I’m all ears. Cal seems to think I’m a pretty good listener, anyway.” Cain rested his chin on his hand, smiling in the way that Cal knew indicated he was happily paying attention.

“O-oh, okay! So, did you know that Anorith actually…”

Heather snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Hey! Quit staring at Cain and help me build this fort.”

“I wasn’t– I wasn’t staring.” He fixed the position of the blanket.

“Uh-huh, sure you weren’t.”

“I didn’t ask for your sass, Heather.”

She stuck her tongue out at him before chucking a pillow at his face. He sighed, putting it in the spot it belonged. He hadn’t been staring, he’d just been... observing.

They spent another hour or so there until the sky started to darken in evening hues and Cal thought it was a good time to leave. Cain agreed and leapt to his feet, fixing the buckles on his boots.

Shelly seemed a little bummed out that they had to leave, but she looked happy. “It was r-really nice to have you both here. I had a lot of fun! And it was really nice to meet you, Cain.”

“It was nice to meet you, too! You’re super smart, maybe you could teach me a thing or two.” Cain tousled her hair. “It was cool meeting you, too, Heather. I hope you guys have a super sick sleepover.”

Heather nodded, a beaming smile on her face. “For sure we will! See ya later!”

Cain waved at both of them and Cal gave Shelly a brief hug before they parted ways. When they were a few feet away from the gym, Cain peeked at him from under his eyelashes.

“Hey.”

“Hey?”

“Race you to the Railnet?”

“Don’t start.”

Cain smirked at him. “Last one there’s a rotten Exeggcute!”

“Cain!”

There was no point, he already took Cal’s hesitance for a headstart and was off. Cal sighed and broke into a sprint to catch up to him. He was smiling despite himself.

Chapter Text

Cal had gotten used to the echo in the Railnet by now. The noises of old, creaking structures, Pokemon scuttling about, the odd rattle of varied sounds he couldn’t place. There was a new sound dancing about the walls now. Something melodic, a song he didn’t know, broken up by the occasional chirp and chitter. It was coming from within the walls, so likely one of the rooms.

He followed it, and the serene sound led him all the way to the room he frequently shared with Cain. It was Cain’s voice, he was able to hear it better once he got closer. It sounded nice, smooth, with high octaves that pinged in the Railnet depths.

He shuffled by the entryway, wanting to listen but simultaneously not wanting to linger like a creep. Cal poked his head in first, spotting Cain tending to his Nidoking as it tried to turn the solo into a rocky duet.

It was kind of cute. His smile wobbled as the thought crossed his mind. He shook his head and found his voice. “Hey, you got room for another guest in here?”

Cain perked up, giving his Nidoking a scratch under the chin. “Oh, hey. I wasn’t actually thinking you’d come by today. Sorry about the noise, I meant it when I said the acoustics in here rock.”

Cal shrugged and crawled into the room. It was a little cramped with the three of them. “It sounded nice. I’ve heard you hum a lot but I don’t think I’ve actually heard you sing before. You sound good.”

“I tend to hear that from boys pretty frequently.”

Cal rolled his eyes. “You have got to stop saying shit like that. Take the damn compliment.” He felt too warm too quickly.

Cain laughed and leaned against the wall. “Fine, fine. Thanks. These cuties just like it because they get to join in however they want.” He gestured to his Nidoking, who gave a short, happy chirp. It was strange to see such an intimidating Pokemon be so… adorable.

He noticed while Cain cooed at his Pokemon that its claws looked a little different. He peered closer, eyebrows raised. “Did– do you paint your Nidoking’s claws?”

Cain grabbed Nidoking's hand and held it out to showcase the black laquer on his claws. “Yep! Don’t worry, the polish is totally safe for Pokemon, too. He’s liked it ever since he was a little Nidoran!” He laughed, soft and affectionate. “He got into my stuff all the time, so I’d figured I’d just paint his claws for him so we could match.”

Cal looked to Nidoking, then back to Cain. Two predominantly purple palettes with black nails. “You two could be twins.” Right down to their similar demeanor, he thought. It was endearing. He wondered if Cain would think the same about Cal and his Magmortar.

“Right? He’s my little guy! Not little enough, though. C’mon, Nidoking, return for now. I need room to stretch my legs.” Cain pet Nidoking affectionately before taking out the Pokeball and tapping it to his forehead to securely return him to it.

“You didn’t have to do that. If you wanted the space to just hang out with your Pokemon I wouldn’t mind leaving to give it to you.” Cal reassured him, relaxing his shoulders now that he had the space.

“Nah, it’s okay. His innocent eyes and ears shouldn’t be exposed to what we’re doing anyway.” Cain teased. He laughed with his full chest when Cal blushed a violent red and tucked his face away in his elbow. “I’m kidding! I’m just joking, oh my gosh. Cal!”

Cal screwed up his face and grumbled. His only retort was to weakly slap Cain on the shoulder. Cain just laughed harder, doubling over and nearly fully laying on the Railnet floor.

Cal thought he was ridiculous.

When he next saw Cain, he didn’t know what to think. He flicked the lantern on and saw the bright, shiny, purpling bruise smeared across his cheek. His eyes were dark, but his smile came as easy as it always did.

“Cain? What the fuck happened?”

“Couldn’t find my concealer.”

“That’s not what I’m fucking talking about.”

“Oh. Got a little too reckless. It's okay, it's not as bad as it looks.”

“Who did it?”

Cain shrugged. “Does it matter? Can't exactly make them take it back. You know how it goes.”

Cal frowned, his jaw clenched tight. “Would you tell me?”

He shook his head. “I don't think it's worth talking about. Do you tell me every time you get into fights?”

“Well, no, but that's different. I–”

“One shout from Nidoking and they were scrambling like birds. I'm fine.”

“Friends of yours?”

“Eh, if they were, definitely not anymore. Sometimes scuffles are unavoidable. You know how this city works by now.” Cain already sounded tired of this conversation, and it made Cal twitch nervously.

“Sorry. I don't mean to push. I just don't like that you got hurt.”

“I keep telling you that I'm fine. It's cute that you worry, though. Maybe you should be my bodyguard,” he teased.

Cal scoffed. “Sounds like you got that position filled. I can't compete with a Nidoking.”

Cain hummed, and Cal noticed the shift as his visible eye brightened. “Hey, would you ever wanna battle?”

“What? Right now?”

“Sure.”

“Are you just asking that because you know you have a chance of packing me up with just one Pokemon?” Cal raised his eyebrows. He had ways to counter a ground-type, sure, but nothing flawless.

“No, I wasn't even thinking about that. I like battling, though, and it would probably be super fun. Besides, then you can see how tough I am.” Cain grinned.

Cal crossed his arms. “And where would we do it?”

“Right here! Well, maybe not in this room, but here in the Railnet. We just have to be careful not to bring anything down on top of us. Careful with any earthquakes and bulldozes and all that.”

“You’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?”

“Yep! If it’ll get that worried look off of your adorable face.”

He was certain the furious blush had traveled down his neck and shoulders by now. “You’re driving me nuts.”

Cain laughed, a light, genuine, melodic thing. “I get that a lot. So, battle?”

“We don’t even have a referee.”

“It’s not official, just for fun. C’mon, we can even put some stakes up! Winner gets to ask the loser any single question they want, maybe? How’s that sound?” Cain was already rising to his feet, one foot out the door. Well, out of the hole, in this case.

“Do I get a say in the stakes at all?”

“Do you have any ideas?”

“No.”

It was a tie. Somewhat. Cal managed to take the last knockout on Cain’s Skuntank, but having made contact with it as it fainted took out his Flareon with its Aftermath ability. Cain played to all of his outs, even when he was on the back foot, and the use of Torment that locked Cal out of using his only non-contact move in succession was what led to the draw instead of a decisive loss for Cain.

Cain stretched his arms over his head. “Wow, that was fun! I don’t typically get battles that close!” He rocked on his feet, inching back to slide down the wall into a relaxed sitting position. Cal half expected him to sprawl out on the floor.

“You’re really no pushover. How the fuck do people not take you seriously? You’re fucking crazy.” Cal fought down the laughter bubbling up from the sudden light feeling in his chest. Cain talked like he was any run of the mill trainer, but he had to be one of the most skilled people Cal had ever met.

“Dunno, but it’s not so bad to subvert other people’s expectations of me. Come sit.” Cain patted the spot on the Railnet ground next to him. Cal folded his legs under him and sat down. “You keep any of your badges on you?”

“I think we’re supposed to. For, uh… I don’t know, actually. But, yeah, I have one.”

“Take it out?” Cain fumbled around in his own pockets as he asked.

Cal pulled out his badge as Cain did the same with his own. “Remind me why we’re doing this?”

Cain flashed him a playful smile and tapped his gym badge against Cal’s with a metallic clink. “Pow! Look at that, the arena just combusted. Well, not really, since I don’t battle with mist. But poison and fire can get pretty explosive, who knew?”

“Chemists?” Cal offered with barely held back laughter. It escaped through his nose in a sharp exhale, anyway.

“You thought it was funny!”

“Funny is a strong word.”

“You totally thought it was funny.”

Cal smiled at him. “Sure. It was funny.”

Cal nestled himself back in the corner of the Railnet room. “So, who gets to ask the question?”

Cain pressed to his side, shrugging one shoulder. “Since I challenged you and all of my Pokemon fainted first, I guess you do? Since that’s how a referee would rule it.”

“Sure. But you said this wasn’t official, so does it really matter?”

“Nah, I guess not. But, y’know, the honor system! Ask away.” Cain brushed his bangs away from his eye and faced Cal.

Cal’s cheeks felt warm. “Um. I actually didn’t think of one.”

“Really? It can literally be anything you want.”

“Yeah, I know, I can’t think of anything. How about this: we drop the wager, because it was stupid. You can just ask me a question if you have one.”

“Okay, Mr. Grump, what do you like to do for fun, anyway?”

“You really like nicknames, huh?” Cal gave him an almost incredulous look. “Nothing, really. I like hanging out with Shelly. And you, apparently.”

“Really? You aren’t secretly a fashionista or anything and just not telling me?”

He scoffed. “No. It’s hard to imagine how anyone could have fun these days. It seems like the region just sucks all the joy out of everything.”

Cain crunched hard on the mint in his mouth, shattering it and flicking the wrapper at Cal. “You just have to find it. I’ve always loved to sing, so I still do that for fun. Even if nobody hears it.”

Cal noticed that. It was kind of endearing. “I like hearing it. If you never told me you were a gym leader I would’ve thought you were a damn popstar.”

“Wouldn’t that be fun! Singing at venues, selling out shows, really putting my soul into it… would you come see me?”

“Are you kidding? I’d be in the front row. I’d tell all your crazy-ass fans to fuck off, too.”

“Like a groupie?” Cain giggled, nudging Cal in the side.

He scoffed. “What? No. Not like that. I’d just want to look out for you and jam out to whatever you release. Hell of a stage presence, I can already picture it.”

“Hm, okay, so my biggest supporter and top-notch security? I’d be so lucky.” He unwrapped another mint. They were Cal’s, initially, but once he offered to share them, Cain was more than happy to monopolize them. “It’s nice to think about, but I couldn’t ever really do it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why not? You’d be great at it. I mean that.”

Cain shrugged. “I’m sorta stuck here, y’know? And besides, I don’t think I could stick with it. I feel like I’d produce maybe one album and disappear into the shadows forever.” He let out a small laugh.

Cal searched every crevice of his brain for a helpful response, or shit, anything relatively smart to say. He came up empty. “You shouldn’t do that.”

“Huh?”

“If you disappeared forever, or whatever you said. That would suck. The world would be infinitely shittier without you in it. So you shouldn’t.” He didn’t know what he was saying. There was blood rushing in his ears as the feelings in his stomach rose and fell and twisted and boiled.

Cain tipped his head low and looked up at Cal from beneath long eyelashes. He almost looked bashful. Cal was likely just imagining that. “You think so? It would still turn, round and round and all that. I just move within it… around in circles.”

Cal was silent. He waited for Cain to be comfortable enough to elaborate, knowing by now he would on his own once he felt in control of himself enough.

“Do you ever feel trapped?” Cain’s voice was a low, rasped whisper.

“I guess that depends. How do you define it?”

“Like you’re stuck in a place you don’t belong. Like you have no choice but to keep moving, and no matter where you stop, it won’t feel right?” Cain held himself, arms wrapped tight around his knees.

Cal thought about his situation. Stuck in Team Meteor to prove he was just as worthy as Blake, joining the league to beat him, changing his entire life to try and escape his shadow. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn’t think he belonged anywhere, either. Except maybe here, in the underbelly of a cave system with Cain beside him.

Cal let out a long, heavy sigh. “I think so. But, um, do you want to talk about it? Like, how you feel? I want- I want to listen.”

“I guess I’m just really not cut out for all of this. Commitments, responsibilities, expectations… so I just run from one thing to the next to try and escape it all. It doesn’t work. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, but I’m all too aware of every choice I make.” Cain avoided his gaze, tracing shapes on the ground with a finger. His nail polish was chipping.

“That sounds like a headache.”

Cain nodded. “You know how I told you the Railnet was the one place nobody could find me?”

“Yeah?”

“I found that out ‘cause he found me everywhere else. My step-dad, I mean. Other than just straight up leaving the region, there was nowhere I could really run where he couldn’t find me. Not really. My mom remarried a while back to him, and he can never decide if he wants me out of the house or in it forever. He treats us like… I dunno, really, he just sucks. I used to hide in the Byxbysion Wall, but I guess it wasn’t good enough because he found me after I ran out once.”

Cal instantly felt anger boiling under his skin. His palms started to sweat. “He sounds like a total jackass. Who the fuck does he think he is? I’ll fuckin–”

“Every day I stay in that house, I feel like it’s going to kill me, Cal.”

He bit his tongue. He felt that same way. He left that house, but carried it with him all the same. There was nothing he could say here. “I’m sorry.”

Cain winced, barely noticeable in the dim light. “I don’t know what else to do. I can’t get out. He doesn’t even scare me, is the thing. When I was a kid, yeah, but I know I could fight back now. It’s just not worth the trouble. I never understood my mom, not really, the ink on those stupid divorce papers wasn’t even dry yet.” He sighed a low breath, his shoulders slumping.

Cal clenched his fists. He was seething, he couldn’t fucking help it. “Why would she remarry to someone who fucking mistreats her kids? You’re already supporting her with league work, so what’s her fucking deal?”

“Humans crave connection. We crave intimacy. We need it, really. I didn’t understand it until I got older, but it’s basic science, really.” Cain hugged his knees tighter and stared at the floor. “I need it just like she did. Once I realized that, I couldn’t really fight her on it anymore.”

Cal swallowed. Intimacy? It made sense, but hearing it from Cain made his bones rattle and his stomach jolt. “There are… healthier ways to find it. Better people.”

“Yeah. I guess. Maybe I should start leading by example.” Cain laughed, bitter and small. He shook his head. “Sorry. That was a lot.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m… I’m glad you trusted me with that. I won’t say I’m not pissed, because I am, but not at you. It just makes me so fucking mad when people think they can just mistreat you, I couldn’t even imagine wanting to see you unhappy or hurt.” Cal’s heart was pounding in his chest.

“I’m not unhappy here, at least. This is always nice. Hanging out here away from everything, even if I can’t run from my thoughts.”

“Then stay here. Not- not permanently, I mean. But if coming down to the Railnet brings you some sort of peace, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Running isn’t always a bad thing. Not if you’re doing it to survive.”

Cain’s posture slumped, his back curling against the wall. “I’m just wondering when it’ll all end.”

“I wish I had the answer. I’ll bring a pillow and blanket next time, though, in case you ever want to take a nap or something. Turn your runaway into an overnight stay free of charge.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper. There wasn’t anything he could do other than offer his own shoddy form of comfort when all he really wanted to do was beat the shit out of anyone who had hurt his friend.

Cain looked at him, then, fringe pushed back out of his face, and Cal saw into his eyes. They were dark, even in the lantern light, and filled with what he could only describe as the depths of melancholy. Cain smiled at him, and that was melancholic, too, but in that moment Cal thought that Cain had to be the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

“Thanks, you’re a real sweetheart.”

Fuck.

This was nothing. This had to be nothing, this had to be fleeting, this had to be something his brain was tricking him into thinking because he’d been spending so much time with Cain lately. He wasn’t blind, he knew Cain was pretty. That was one of the first things he noticed, regrettably. But he saw lots of pretty or cute guys and he was always content to toss the information out of his mind because he’d never been interested otherwise. Something was different. Cain was pretty, sure, but there was so much more than that causing him crisis right now. He was kind, funny, clever, a hell of a trainer, and his eyes– those eyes fucking sealed his fate. They were so deep and every second Cal spent looking into them he swore they pulled him in deeper.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the way he coddled his Pokemon that was nearly as tall as him and had a tail strong enough to snap a telephone pole. Or the way he encouraged Shelly to talk about her interests with him the first time he met her. Or the way he spouted random off-handed facts about biological and chemical science, despite having absolutely zero interest in the area himself. He was weird and he was nice and Cal didn’t know when he started liking him so much.

All of Cal’s thoughts came back to Cain. His voice played on a feedback loop in the space between his ears; Cal didn’t even think he could call it a brain anymore. He got distracted during Team Meteor meetings thinking about when he could pack up and leave and have even the slightest chance of catching him in the Railnet. Not that he particularly cared to pay attention in the first place, but he was already getting distracted enough before all of this.

There was something very, seriously wrong with him.

He wanted to point fingers and blame it on the fact that he wasn’t used to having friends his age that he could also be attracted to. He wasn’t used to spending so much time with another guy that was kind to him. His wires were getting crossed, was all. That had to be it.

He didn’t even know if Cain was into guys, or how he’d even ask that without sounding like an utter creep. He didn’t know how to even begin navigating this. So he’d do what he figured he did best: he would store these thoughts away under lock and key until they went away by themselves or he burned them out. This was nothing, after all. Crushes were stupid, and Cal refused to have one.

He was failing spectacularly.

Now that it clicked in his brain, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about how every little detail about Cain was fucking magnetic and it was starting to drive him crazy.

It only worsened when he went to their hideout, the sputtering lantern already flicked on, and saw Cain’s eyelid dusted with purple shadows and glitter. His lips were painted a simple matte black, and Cal had to force his brain into working before he got into staring territory.

“New look?”

Cain smiled at him. “Not so much new, I just wasn’t in the mood to do it much lately. I’ve been feeling a little better, so I’ve had the energy to bring the makeup back out.”

“It looks nice. Looks… um, it fits you well.” Looks pretty. He looked so pretty.

“Aw, thanks. I was a little worried I’d lost my technique. It’s been a while since I played around with this stuff. I almost caved and asked my sister, but that was my last resort.” He pulled out what looked to be a little compact mirror and checked his appearance in it.

Cal tried to peer past his fringe to see if he completed it on the other eye. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

Cain shrugged. “Yeah, she’s a bit older than me. We don’t really talk much these days, though. We live together, yeah, but it’s like we’re trying to survive a nuclear war zone more than anything, so we aren’t super close.”

“I think I understand that. Sort of. It’s less that we aren’t close and more that we just hate each other. My brother and I, that is.”

“This is the first I’m hearing about a brother from you, so I guess we’re even.” Cain teased, pressing his shoulder against Cal’s. “Are you older or are you the baby, too?”

“I’m younger. And shittier in every other measurable way, apparently.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You’d be the first.”

“Well then I’m happy to be the first! You’re strong, you’re nice– to me, at least. I don’t know what your brother’s got going for him but he doesn’t really matter right now, does he?” He flicked a pebble at the wall. They needed to bring cards in here, or something; he noticed Cain liked to have something to busy his hands with. “I know you, and I think you’re pretty cool.”

Cal tensed. He’d probably change his mind once he did know. No point in delaying the inevitable. “My last name is Whitaker. Blake Whitaker is my older brother.”

Cain looked confused. “Okay?”

“That doesn’t– you don’t care?”

“Am I supposed to? Okay, he’s the ice-type leader, big whoop. I barely pay attention to what’s going on in my own life, let alone anyone else’s.”

Cal’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know why this of all things had his stomach flipping. “That’s… not what I expected at all.”

Cain pressed a hand to Cal’s shoulder with a gentle smile. “I’m telling you, Cal, whoever you’re related to doesn’t really mean anything to me. Jeez, I wouldn’t even care if you told me you weren’t a natural redhead!”

He couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled from his chest, like the tension left his body as swiftly as it came. “Shit, I’m not. I totally forgot to ever bring that up.”

“Wait, seriously? I was just messing around, your hair isn’t naturally that color? You’ve gotta tell me who your stylist is, because that looks so good! Wait, what is your natural color, then?”

“Blue. And I dyed it myself. Now I’m kind of relieved, because I always worried it looked like shit.”

“Hey, I can totally respect a guy who goes all the way to dye his eyebrows, too. Do you have any pictures from before you dyed it? Could I see?”

“Absolutely fucking not. No way. Even if I did have any, the answer would still be no.”

“You’re no fun. I bet you look so cute with your blue hair. Not that you don’t look cute now, too. You’re like, stupidly cute, it’s kind of unfair.”

Cal felt his heart skip a beat, then proceed to try and fly out of his chest. “Shut up. You already have me hanging around, you don’t need to ham it up.”

Cain reached to ruffle his hair with a mischievous grin, and Cal grumbled without any fire as he tried to bat his hand away. “You ever think about letting it go natural again?”

“No. I’ll look too much like him that way. Both of them, really.”

“I’d still see you as you.”

“Nobody else would. I wouldn’t.” The thought of seeing Blake and his father every time he looked in the mirror made him sick.

Cain sagged against him, then looked up at him with a look in his eye that Cal couldn’t place. “Shelly would. It’s unfair that you have to change everything about yourself just to prove something to people who don’t deserve you.”

Cal sighed and brought the heel of his palm to one of his eyes. “And who does deserve me?”

“People who care about you. People like Shelly, and, well, me? Not trying to say I deserve you or anything, but, uh, you know what I mean, right? You shouldn’t have to live in someone’s shadow surrounded by people who make you miserable. That sucks.” Cain broke eye contact, clearing his throat and tipping his head down.

His tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he tried to find his voice to respond. “I know what you mean. I just don’t know if I can really believe it.”

“Yeah, that’s the hard part, isn’t it? Knowing something is true, but not being able to believe it… maybe we can get there. Seriously, why care about being better than him when you can just be you and live separated from that tether? I’m not going to pretend to know everything you carry on your shoulders, Cal, but all it’ll do is trap you, and you deserve to be free. Everyone does.”

Thoughts raced in his head. Cal felt like a whirlwind had been directed right to his brain. Cain wasn’t saying anything he’d never thought of before, no, but he’d never quite heard it from another person. He sounded so earnest, like he saw the shackles of Cal’s circumstances and matched them to his own. Cal bit down hard on the insides of his cheeks, inhaling sharply through his teeth. Cain opened his mouth like he was going to speak again, he looked like he might even apologize if the furrowed brow was any indicator, and Cal let caution go to the wind and pressed his face to that pale, bony shoulder like it could offer him the comfort he was denied his entire life.

“Woah, woah, a little strong there, huh? No– hey, I’m kidding. You’re fine.” Cain shushed any beginnings of a protest he was going to fumble with and rested his head on top of his.

“I’m sorry.” This was stupid. He was acting stupid. He was acting stupid and weak and pathetic. Like a crybaby.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Cal. I was just– I was really just saying what I thought was true. But,” Cain cut himself off with a weak laugh. “Maybe I’m not the best person to take this sort of advice from?” His tone shifted to the soft, light-hearted one he usually adopted.

Cal thought it was because Cain was probably the wrong person to give advice that it meant so much more. Neither of them had any fucking idea what they were doing, but Cain was still extending a hand to help pull him through the shit-river of a mindset he always managed to find himself in. He was so fucking special, and he didn’t even know it.

Cal said none of that, and instead chose to let out a harsh exhale and offer Cain his personal space back. “You’re ridiculous. This is kind of ridiculous.”

“Is it?”

It was. It was ridiculous how much Cal wanted to hold onto this mess of a man and never let him go. “Yeah, but I’m not mad about it. Sorry I dumped all of that shit on you, I know you’ve got enough fuckery going on.”

“If I told you I liked hearing things about your life, even if they kind of suck, would you stop apologizing? ‘Cause, honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all. If anything, it sorta helps to know I’m not alone. Maybe that’s selfish of me.” Cain laughed quietly and traced patterns on the ground.

Cal shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. Maybe you deserve to be a little selfish, sometimes.”

“Well, if I do, then you do, too.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“So will you stop apologizing every time you open up to me?”

“Maybe.”

Chapter Text

There was nothing more humiliating than having a crush on a guy you’ve been hanging out with almost every week for several months, Cal decided. Nothing measured up in embarrassment to the reality of seeing someone so frequently and blushing from the tips of your fucking ears down to your chest every time they so much as smiled. And Cain was very generous with the smiles he gave Cal.

They weren’t just the easy smiles, either. They were small, sometimes wry, sometimes even a little bashful. Cal decided he liked them in every form. The feeling was strong enough to burn, and it only sparked and brightened every time he thought about it.

His stomach flipped and jumped every time he went to the Railnet now. Today was no exception.

He met Cain in the Slums and followed him to their hideout room from there, a blanket draped over his shoulders. It was getting a little colder in the city, and Cain was terrible at dressing for the weather, so Cal figured adding another thing to the room wouldn’t hurt.

They settled in and Cain took the blanket nearly immediately. “You’re really sweet, y’know that?”

“I think you might’ve mentioned it before.”

“I mean, I feel like if I told any other guy I was getting cold he’d offer to warm me up himself, not bring me an entire blanket and– wow, this is so soft!”

“Just basic decency. I feel like you’re too used to shitbags just trying to get into your pants.” He tried to bite his tongue. “Are you even into guys?” he failed.

Cain nodded. “Oh, yeah, of course! Not just guys, though, I just sorta like people in general. Guys, girls, anyone in between or outside of that.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

There was a soft snort and a giggle and Cal felt his cheeks blaze. “Cool? Not usually people’s go-to response.”

Cal shrugged. “I mean, it’s cool to know, I guess. I am, too, so I’m not judging or anything. Just, uh… just guys, though.”

“A lot of people assume that I’m just into guys, and a lot of guys assume that just because I’m nice to them that I like them.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Mhm. Tell me about it.”

“Like I said, you’re too used to shitty people thinking they have a right to your attention just because you’re nice or could be attracted to them. You should just start fuckin’ punching them out.”

Cain playfully swatted Cal on the shoulder. “No way! That’d be terrible for my image. Besides, I’m not all too good at throwing a punch. I just have to remind them who they’re messing with in my own way,” he tapped the Pokeballs at his belt, “and it works plenty fine.”

“I’d punch their lights out. Just saying.” Cal cast him a look. He hoped it wasn’t as starry-eyed as he felt.

“I know you would. That’s why I like you.”

His face heated. Cain didn’t mean it like that, but hearing it made him tense all the same. He swallowed and averted his eyes. “Right. Shut up.” He tried to recoil.

Cain just smiled at him. Cal didn’t know what to do with that.

“So, do you have a boyfriend or anything like that?” Cain circled back around to their original topic, likely because he wanted to be nosey.

“No. Never have. Not a lot of people want to date a fuck-up with anger issues. Haven’t met many people that are my type, anyway.”

“Well, what’s your type?”

“Dunno.”

“Have you just never been interested in anyone before?”

“Never said I wasn’t interested in anyone.” He countered before he thought better of it.

Cain’s jaw dropped and he leaned forward. “Is there someone you’re interested in?” Cal was smarter this time and kept his mouth shut. Cain decided to take it as encouragement. “Wait, you gotta tell me! How do I not know? We practically hang out all the time!”

Cal held his palm up to Cain’s face as a deterrent. “It’s not important. Why are we even talking about this?”

“It’s totally important. Is he in the city, or is he back up north? C’mon, Cal, you’re killing me, here.”

Cal rolled his eyes. “Listen, I never brought it up ‘cause it didn’t matter. It still doesn’t. It’s not going anywhere, and I’m not gonna push it. Drop it, okay?”

Cain sighed and resigned himself. “‘Kay. But I’m just sayin’, I think whoever he is would be pretty lucky to have you of all people interested in him.”

“More like cursed.”

“Nah, definitely lucky.”

Cal felt his stomach lurch. He needed to get out of here before he said something stupid. Or something more stupid than he already did.

Do you feel lucky?

I guess that makes you lucky, then?

Is luck on your side, this time?

He bit his tongue hard.

So, Cain liked guys, sure, an invigorating new discovery. That didn’t necessarily mean that he liked Cal like that. He didn’t know where to go from there. He tucked his hands in his pockets and made his way down to the Railnet. Cain wasn’t there yet, so Cal sat against the wall near the room and waited.

There wasn’t much of a wait until he heard the distinct footsteps that he’d come to associate with Cain’s tall platform boots. They were noisy, and it was only more evident in a quiet place like this. He probably fucking Pavlov’d himself at this point with how he perked up at the sound every time.

“Hey!” Cain picked up a light jog as he got closer.

“Hi. Good to see you.” Cal smiled, a wobbly thing that he couldn’t help even if he tried.

“Likewise! Here, scooch, I noticed we were running low on snacks so I grabbed some on my way down.” Cain pushed past him to enter the room, opening the container and refilling it until it almost couldn’t close back up. He peeled open a pack of dried Mago berries and tossed one at Cal who scrambled to catch it.

“If that fell on the floor I wasn’t going to eat it.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you caught it then, huh?” Cain smiled at him, his visible eye light in the dim room.

Cal bit into the dried fruit, the tug and pull needed reminding him of all the preserved and non-perishables of Ametrine’s rations. “Pain in the ass.”

Cain laughed, loud and with his chest. “You like it.” He nudged Cal’s leg with his boot and threw another berry at him.

Cal rolled his eyes, fighting off the flush that he knew was creeping up his face. “Where’d you get these, anyway?”

“Some of the staff at the Onyx Trainer’s School had extra refreshments from some student event. I think they might have mistook me for one of the battle demonstrators?” He shrugged. “Either way, I got a good handful. There’s cookies in here, too. Chips… granola bars… I basically took whatever I could cram in my pockets.”

Cal dug around in the container for one of the little cookie bags. “A real city scavenger, you are. No wonder you’re so popular.”

Cain shrugged. “Well, when you stay out of the house long enough, you tend to turn the whole city into a playground.” He paused and bit the inside of his cheek. “Everyone I’ve actually gone around with has been from Reborn City, actually. A little awkward just randomly seeing them around after.”

Cal shifted. “Did- um, did your family ever know? About any of them?”

“Yeah, eventually. It got pretty ugly.” He ripped open a bag of chips, frowning when one spilled out and hit the floor. “My mom looked like she was about to burst into tears. Actually, I think she did! No amount of ‘I still like girls, too, I just like everyone!’ could get her to see past the fact that I also liked guys.” Cain laughed, a quiet and brittle sound. He lolled his head, looking at Cal from beneath his eyelashes. “What about yours?”

“Sort of. I told you I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything, but I think my brother’s always had something of an idea. Um, about me being gay. He’s never said anything about it to me or our dad, though, so I never brought it up to him. He’s already enough of an asshole as is, anyway.”

“I guess neither of us had a great shot at being ourselves around them then, huh? Whatever, who cares what they think?”

“You don’t?” Cal asked, tentative and quiet, a far cry from his usual fire.

“Nope! Not at all. I stopped letting it bother me a long time ago. Whenever they start up, I just leave and come here. Or go somewhere else.” Cain made a gesture at their surroundings.

Cal’s eyes flicked around the dim, cracked space they were tucked together in. “What a weird place to have as a safe haven.”

Silence settled among the walls. Cain broke it when he pointedly crinkled the chip bag under his hands, digging around in the dim light for the rest of them at the bottom. “These stupid things are always just full of air, ugh.”

Cal smiled at him. “Maybe that’s the city management’s way of making sure you aren’t only breathing in smog.”

“I’d probably rather breathe in smog than lose all my fingers and toes to frostbite up north. I’m surprised you still have all of yours.”

“I’ve come close a couple times. I wouldn't recommend it.” He leaned his back against the wall, thinking about the first time his fingers swelled and blistered when he and Blake were locked outside. Definitely not a recommended experience.

Cain hummed in thought, leaning against Cal and making a show of tossing his hair against his shoulder. “Well, what about here? Have you ever thought about going deeper into the Railnet? Less smog, no frostbite.”

“High possibility of twisting your ankle in a fissure, though. Or worse, breaking it.” He had to tug his foot out of one of the narrower splits in the ground once when he was surveying deeper for the layout, and Cain’s preferred style of shoe did not give him confidence for what felt like glorified cave-diving.

Cain didn’t seem to be all that worried about it. He had that look on his face that he got when he already made up his mind about something, and nothing would steer him away from it. “That won’t happen! Besides, if we get stuck I can just split the ground open a little more no problem.” He tapped a Pokeball at his belt. Probably Nidoking’s.

Cal squinted at him. “That’s– that’s almost more dangerous than just going deeper into this thing. That’s crazy, you know that, right? You know that.”

“I know, I know! But I’m feeling spontaneous, and all our doom and gloom talk made me want to stretch my legs. C’mon, it’s guaranteed to be safer with us being able to watch each other.” A grin played on his face, “I’ve never been further than maybe a couple pathways down.” Cain leapt to his feet, the motion complete with the little back and forth rock he always gave the heels of his platforms.

It was embarrassing how many of those miniscule details he picked up, really.

“That’s probably for the best– hey!” Cal flushed to the tips of his ears and jolted at the sudden grab and pull of his hand. Cain was standing firm, feet planted on the ground and a wild smile on his face as he tried to pull Cal up with him.

“C’mon! Don’t worry, I’ll protect you if you get scared!” Cain laughed, holding one of Cal’s too-warm hands in both of his and tugging with surprisingly little force. It was almost like he wasn’t trying to pull him up at all, like he knew his words alone would convince Cal and just grabbed his hand to play up the dramatics.

So there was really no point to Cain taking his hand like that. Unless he–

Cal tried not to overthink it, squeezing Cain’s fingers to let him know that he won their little mock war of attrition. He hesitantly rose to his feet and felt his stomach flip when Cain didn’t let go of his hand. “You won’t have to pull me the whole way, you can let go.” He cleared his throat, knowing the bite in his words felt weak.

Cain’s smile turned soft, something sincere. “I know, but it’ll be good for us to not get separated. I think it gets pretty dark the further down you go, so we should stick close together.” He released one of his hands, feeling around the room’s exit to climb out while still holding onto Cal’s with the other. He seemed to buzz with excitement, antsy to move around and get out of one place, to venture somewhere with Cal.

It was almost too much for him to handle.

Cain led him down the Railnet’s passageways, and Cal remembered marking down the twists and turns of how the cave-like system had transformed over the years. Cracks in the walls revealed other small rooms like theirs, some filled with debris and some barely having any floor to stand on. Cain’s hand had warmed up in his, his skin was soft, he needed to stop thinking about it.

They followed the destroyed tracks like a trail to treasure, and Cal kept pace with Cain’s quick effortless steps until he followed him through another crawlspace and nearly stepped on his foot with the sudden lack of space. The passageway turned narrow, barely allowing room for one of them to walk down it and turning personal space into a myth.

Every sensation felt amplified as they navigated through the narrow hallway. Their arms were squished together, and Cal hoped Cain couldn’t feel his heart pounding out of his chest against his back. He stepped over a large rip in the ground and nearly bumped into Cain as he tugged them along.

“This place is way too tight.” He hissed a sharp breath through his teeth.

Cain’s laugh was loud, knowing, like it was when he was about to say something obnoxious and wanted you to know it, too. “Never stopped a determined boy before!” He sped up and pulled harder.

“Talk about Magikarp in a barrel. Fuck, careful, stop pulling before I trip!”

“But I can see the exit! Or, at least, another hole in the wall that might act as an exit!”

Cal could barely see above the head of fluffy purple hair in front of him. He took Cain’s word for it, trying to keep up as he was tugged along. Cain’s excited voice bounced off the tight hall and reverberated between his ears as he released his grip on Cal’s hand to crawl through the new crevice they found.

“Wait– don’t go too far.” Cal reached to grab at the back of his flannel, nearly bumping his head at the top of the small overhang created by the gap as he climbed through. They emerged in an open space leading to another entryway, and Cain reestablished his hold on Cal’s hand as they continued deeper.

At some point whatever light source faintly illuminated their surroundings seemed to dim even further. This was where he’d stopped in his mapping of the layout, too. He figured nothing could be done with any of the information here. It was unfamiliar territory now. Cal regretted not having the foresight to grab the lantern from their room, but he knew Cain was still close by the tight grip on his hand. He just couldn’t see shit else.

“I didn’t know it went this far! Woah, and the echo’s way crazier, too.” Cain pressed his hand along the walls, feeling his way with each step. “Uh, I can’t see a thing, though… you wouldn’t happen to have anything with Flash on you, would you?”

Cal felt around his pockets. “I don’t even think I have Flash. I only have Magmortar with me right now. The idle flame won’t be as bright as flashing the place up, but if we stick close we should be able to see a little better at least.”

He pulled out Magmortar’s Pokeball and released him with little ceremony. Cain immediately took to cooing and gave Magmortar little scratches under his chin, trying to ease the surprise of the sudden darkness.

“Hey, buddy. Sorry to drag you out like this, but could you make a little bit of light for us so we can get down this hallway?” Cal asked, and Magmortar simply chirped in response and nuzzled into Cain’s hand. He seemed happy with the attention, lifting one of his arms to start up a fire from one of his hands.

The makeshift torch was enough to illuminate their immediate surroundings. Cal could see Cain’s bright smile and Magmortar’s sleepy face and could even see his own hand in front of him if he stretched his arm out.

Cain kept petting Magmortar, treating him like a little baby Pokemon even though he was well beyond that and came up a little past Cain’s shoulder in height. “Thank you so much for your help! You can have all the treats you want after this, okay? Pinky promise on my part.”

“Don’t tell him that, he’ll start getting spoiled and I don’t have the budget to keep up with the promises you’re making to my Pokemon.” Cal scolded with no actual bite as they resumed their walk down the hallway, arms crossed over his chest.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s well deserved! It’s totally our fault, too, for not thinking ahead to bring a light source.”

“Hm. I wonder why we didn’t have much time to think ahead? It’s really a mystery.” He muttered and made a face like he was pretending to think really hard about it.

Cain pressed close to him, still holding his hand and brushing their shoulders together. “Okay, spoil-sport. You can admit you’re having fun though, right?” He looked over at Magmortar with a beaming smile. “Even your Magmortar seems to be enjoying it.”

Cal rolled his eyes, bumping Cain lightly with his shoulder to throw him slightly off rhythm. “That’s because you promised him endless ‘Snax after this. Which, I hope you can back that up, because I’m all out right now.”

“Cal, sweetie, do you know me? Of course I can back it up.”

“‘Sweetie’?” He scoffed, “God, you’re ridiculous.”

Cain’s laughter was infectious, an unrestrained giggle that buried its way beneath Cal’s skin and made him flush. He hoped the warmth invading his face wasn’t made visible by the flame as they walked, and he resisted the urge to yank his hand away to wipe the sweat off of his palm.

They continued down, the warm light of Magmortar’s flame offering moderately better visibility than they had before until they reached a set of stairs. Cain nearly barreled them both down the steps at first, but Cal’s nervous yelp made him pause long enough for them to continue at a normal pace.

He followed Cain with the help of Magmortar down the second set of stairs, and they emerged into a room that appeared full of old debris and tall metal structures. A dead end, it seemed. Through all his investigation of the layout, Cal had no idea the Railnet ever went this deep. He knew about the earthquakes, and heard rumors about what started them, but he had no idea the under-belly of Reborn City had ever been this expansive.

Cal opened his mouth to announce to Cain that their spontaneous adventure was probably over when he heard low chittering noises and multiple little clacks against the stone floor. He took several steps back and reached for the back of Cain’s flannel again as he took several steps forward instead. Magmortar stood between them, taking a protective stance in front of Cal and cautiously watching ahead of Cain as he knelt down to get a better look.

“Cain, we probably shouldn’t–”

Cain raised a finger to his lips. “Shh, look.” He pulled out a bag of PokeSnax, opening it and shaking it at something Cal couldn’t see.

His confusion only lasted a moment though, because after only a handful of seconds a couple tiny Aron crept out from the darkness and trotted over to Cain who now sat criss-cross on the ground. “A nest? I guess with how abandoned this place is, there’s no reason for them to avoid using the old rails as a snack.”

Cain scattered the PokeSnax out along the ground, a soft smile on his face. “Right? And they’re so cute, Cal, just look at them!” He pulled out two more PokeSnax bags, opening them up and offering them both to Magmortar. “Oh, and here! For all your help today.” There was an appreciative huff, followed by Magmortar gently– and repeatedly– headbutting Cain’s shoulder.

“I think he’s starting to like you more than he likes me. It’s crazy what a little bribery can do.” Cal’s flat humor stirred another bright laugh from Cain, which in turn made Cal feel like he was on fire all over again.

The Aron seemed drawn to him as well, shuffling over on tiny legs and sniffing the treats on the ground. Cain’s face was overwhelmingly fond as he watched the little Pokemon eat. He looked over at Cal and mouthed ‘look’ as the small steel-rock-types gathered a few inches away from his boots.

One of them toddled closer, putting its front legs on Cain’s leg and raising its head to sniff at his hands for more treats. Cain pulled another one out and held it out in his palm. Cal could tell he was doing everything in his power not to squeal and cheer when Aron ate it out of his hand.

The moment ended as quick as it started when Cain’s eyes went wide and he let out a hissing wheeze. Aron had climbed into his lap, putting all hundred something pounds onto Cain’s bones with no preamble and seemingly no care in the world.

Cal tried not to laugh, because that would be mean, but seeing the bright excited grin drop into mortified surprise as Cain was reminded just how much one of these Pokemon weigh was a little funny, not to mention endearing. The other Aron in the group had shuffled away back into the shadows of their nest once all the PokeSnax were gone, leaving just this one that seemed intent on getting more.

It sniffed his palm and pressed its head against it, nipping at his fingers when there was no indicator it would get any more treats. Cain fumbled around with a soft laugh and surrendered the remainder of his PokeSnax to Aron who seemed more than pleased. At least, Cal thought so, he didn’t know much about the behaviors of Pokemon outside of the type he trained.

“Cal, if I get crushed… tell my Nidoking I love him…” Cain whispered, voice tight with dramatics and a hand pressed to his forehead.

“What about your other Pokemon? You’ll be fine, drama queen. Besides, I think it really likes you, so you can deal with a little crushing.” He moved a bit closer, his shoulder bumping up against Cain’s as he observed Aron in his lap.

“So mean to me… I’m gonna die.” Cain dropped his head to Cal’s shoulder. A smile pulled at his lips and he gave Aron some affectionate scratches on the top of its head. “It is pretty cuddly with me though, huh? Shame I probably wouldn’t be a good fit as its trainer… I don’t know the first thing about training steel or rock-types, and I haven’t even been battling much unless I have to.”

Cal hummed in response. Cain’s reasoning made sense, but he knew of a lot of type-specialists having Pokemon that didn’t fit with their chosen type. “I mean, we know how to get down here now. There’s nothing saying we can’t come back and visit from time to time.”

Cain turned his head from where it rested to face Cal, looking up at him at a weird little angle that Cal was certain strained his neck. “You’d be okay to come back here with me? I thought you’d swear off any more deep cave exploration adventures after this.” His bangs had fallen away from his face, revealing both eyes of brilliant purple that drew him in endlessly.

His breath caught in his throat. “Well, I wouldn’t want you trying to get back all the way down here by yourself and something happening. I mean, I know you can handle yourself, but I’d worry. Then I’d get pissed if you got hurt and I wasn’t there to help. So, uh, fucking shit–” His face was getting hotter with each passing second of Cain looking at him like he could see right through him. “If you wanna come back, I’ll come with you. We’ll bring an actual light next time, too, so we don’t have to bug Magmortar again.” Cal’s eyes flicked over to his Pokemon, recognizing that he was a little bored and probably a bit tired.

Cain’s stifled laugh shook them both. “Okay. We’ll come back, then. We’ll make this whole place our own.”

Cal met his eyes again, feeling like an electric current of molten fire was ripping through his veins and maybe he’d spontaneously combust at any second. He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t think he’d be able to even if he tried, not when Cain was looking at him like Cal had just promised him the moon and all the stars with it. He’d give it to him, too, if he could.

A weight dropped in his stomach and he knew there was no chance these feelings were going away. There never was, not with him.

He was starting to wonder if he should just come out and say it. If he should tell Cain the truth, get rejected, and move on with his life. He was terrible at keeping his feelings a secret, that went for every single situation in his life without fail. Cain would find out eventually, because he was perceptive and smart and entirely too good at reading people. He was an expert in reading Cal.

He didn’t want to, though. For all his posturing, he didn’t want to lose a friend because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check. It was hard to come by people who tolerated him, and he didn’t want to run Cain off like this. He thought about what he said the other day, and honestly, Cal felt like the lucky one for being able to have him as a friend. Lucky to be able to spend time with him, talking about shitty situations and shittier water supply.

Cal didn’t want to lose that. He didn’t even know if he would, but he didn’t want to take the chance. He initially figured his crush would go away on its own if he ignored it long enough, but recently he’d given up on that ever being an option. It had been nearly a month and he felt like he was going to puke every time he thought about him.

He needed to talk to someone about it. To empty the cavity of his chest and maybe then with somewhere to go, his feelings would finally eject themselves and fly off into the polluted city air.

Main issue, his closest friend was a kid, who probably– no, definitely, had no idea what he would be talking about. Shelly would probably still try to listen and help in her own way, knowing how kind she was, but Cal was not about to impose that on her. Secondary issue, the only other people he regularly communicated with were his coworkers. Ace might be willing to lend an ear, but they weren’t exactly close and Cal thought he’d rather dive face first into another snowbank than have that information about him in earshot of Team Meteor.

Cain would be the person to talk to about this, but it was about him, which brought Cal all the way back to his original plan.

Keep ignoring it until it blew up in his face.

Cal didn’t show up to the Railnet for the next few days. That wasn’t entirely unusual, he and Cain didn’t hang out every single minute of every single day thanks to both of their individual responsibilities, but the recent projects Team Meteor had him working on now barely even left him with time to sleep. They needed all hands on deck, and that was an order. For the past week he was playing errand-boy to the admins, more specifically to ZEL, helping them with anything they needed regarding the production and placement of the PULSE machines. He wasn’t allowed to actually do anything with them, only being permitted to hand off materials and follow whatever hair-brained demands he was given.

Opting out wasn’t an option, either. Not only did the order come from his superiors, but with Sirius watching him like a hawk and Blake’s smug face appearing at every corner he turned, any refusal would be met with suspicion and mockery. And after how much he’d insisted on staying in the city before to help with work on the ground, the expectation for him to cooperate increased tenfold. He didn’t have a choice, not really. He repeated that in his mind to keep thoughts of Cain and the Railnet at bay.

The moves Team Meteor was making were big, some grand plan he wasn’t privy to, and he tried not to think about the implication of their talks about cleansing the region. The stress from dealing with Meteor business on top of dealing with his feelings for Cain that genuinely gave him heart palpitations compounded into an overwhelming feeling that had him seeking out the Railnet for comfort the day he was given some time off.

His stomach was churning, that whole thing about distance making the heart grow fonder felt like a gross understatement for the gut-rending yearning he felt. He took the path through the Slums, grimacing at the sticky feeling at the bottom of his shoes, and turned to descend the stairs when he saw Cain at the bottom of them.

His heart jumped in his throat. “Hey.”

Cain turned to face him, a smile grew on his face quickly and crinkled the corner of his eye. “Hey! It’s been a while. Been busy?”

Cal rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Really busy, actually. A lot’s been going on lately. Sorry I didn’t come by.”

Cain shrugged. “I’d be down here most of the time regardless, I’m not mad or anything. Wanna go?” he pointed to the entrance of the Railnet.

Cal shuffled his feet, suddenly nervous. He knew if he did, the likelihood that he would trip up and reveal the big ugly truth he cradled in his chest would skyrocket. “Sure.” He followed Cain anyway. Good and smart decisions were never his strong suit.

They squeezed back into the room, with the lantern and the blanket and the snack container. There were a couple books and magazines now and a small music player. “I decided to jazz it up a bit more while you were gone.” Cain said, making a grand gesture with his arms.

“Looks nice. This stuff from your house?”

“Yeah. My door doesn’t have a lock, and I don’t wanna risk my stuff getting broken or ripped up in someone’s rage. If anything, it’s safer here, and I got bored.”

Cal averted his eyes and moved to the wall. “You aren’t worried about me breaking it in my whatever-induced rage?”

“Of course not. You wouldn’t do that.”

“You seem pretty confident in that considering how quickly people manage to piss me off.”

“Well, I haven’t yet, have I? I think it’s fine.” Cain reached over to turn the music player on, swapping out the tape for something punky and turned it down slightly so it didn’t blast the small room with noise.

Cain moved over, ensuring Cal couldn’t avoid making eye contact with him. “So, what’s been going on?”

He shifted. “What do you mean?”

“The stuff you mentioned before. Having a lot happening recently. Want to talk about it?”

No. “Eh, not really? It’s not a big deal.”

“It doesn’t have to be. You could’ve been busy thinking about what you wanted to get for lunch and I’d still want to hear about it.”

“It wouldn’t take me days to think about what I wanted for lunch.”

“What if it was a very important upcoming lunch? And you had to think about it for days to plan it perfectly?”

“It wasn’t about lunch.”

“Really? What was it then?’ Cain blinked at him owlishly. Cal knew he was blushing. This was a disaster.

“It really doesn’t matter–” How was he going to get out of this?

“It matters to me. I don't wanna push, but, y’know, I always wanna listen if something’s going on.”

Cal rubbed a hand over his face. “Cain, really, it’s not something you should bother with.”

Cain sighed and leaned his head against the wall. “You’d tell me if it was something I did, right?”

That caught his attention immediately. “What– you didn’t do anything. I mean it, that’s not–” he bit the inside of his cheek. Cain didn’t do anything to make him not go to the Railnet upwards of a week, that was Meteor bullshit that had nothing to do with this, and all of this weird, awkward stumbling was because no matter how fucking hard Cal tried he just could not get his feelings under control.

He could tell by the flash in Cain’s eye that something started turning in his head. He didn’t want him to come to the wrong conclusion, but he knew if he said anything else he’d be revealing the real reason why he’d been so fucking weird lately.

“Listen, it’s really, really stupid. But I still want to hang out with you, and I don’t want anything to fuck that up. Okay?”

“M’kay… Cal, not gonna lie, startin’ to make me a little nervous, here.” Cain wrapped his arms around himself, peering at Cal like he could read into his soul.

Cal’s feelings were laid bare. He couldn’t avoid it anymore, short of getting up and running away. He couldn’t do that. What was he doing? “Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t want– I just– I want–”

Cain shuffled close to him, pressing their shoulders together like he usually did when they spent time together. “Cal, please, I promise no matter what it is we’ll be fine. You’ve just gotta talk to me.”

Out with it, then.

“I like you.”

Everything stilled. Or maybe Cal had just froze. The second those words tumbled past his lips it felt like time all around him had stopped. Cain looked at him, an immediate click of understanding in his perceptive, purple stare.

“Oh. I see.”

Cal felt like he was going to throw up. He would’ve grappled to explain himself, but there was nothing to explain. He liked Cain as more than just a friend, and Cain didn’t need any further clarification to understand that. He knew.

He couldn’t say anything at all. Even if he wanted to apologize, which he did, his tongue felt too thick and heavy in his mouth to let him formulate speech.

After a moment that felt like eternity, but realistically was likely only a few seconds, Cain smiled at him. “Cal, can I try something?” His voice was so quiet.

He nodded, his own voice still somewhere far away.

“Let me know if this isn’t okay, yeah? Tell me, push me, anything.”

Cal raised his eyebrows in confusion, then surprise when Cain’s soft lips were pressed against his. His heartbeat drummed in his ears, beating hard enough to escape his chest if it could. He barely had a moment to reciprocate when Cain pulled away with a tiny smile, looking up at him through long lashes. It was so chaste, Cal leaned forward afterwards, as if he was seeking out Cain again without even realizing it.

“Was that okay?”

His voice. Where was his voice? He had to say something.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. There it was.

“I wanted to tell you that I like you, too, in the best way I know how.”

“You do?”

“I just kissed you. Of course I do. I was so worried that you figured it out and ran you off… and maybe that’s why you weren’t coming around anymore.”

“Fuck, no, I really was just busy with work. Like, fucking mountain loads. And I was so terrified of running you off so I was trying to figure my shit out at the same time, hope that maybe my crush on you would go away on its own. It didn’t, obviously, and I wasn’t just going to leave you. It’s so stupid, I came running here as soon as I had the time even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep hiding this from you.” He buried his face in his hands. This was embarrassing. More than embarrassing, actually, it was earth-shatteringly mortifying.

Cain gently clasped a hand around each of his wrists and pulled them away from his face. “Hey, it’s okay. I promise, it’s okay. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long, actually, you have no idea. You never could’ve scared me away, Cal.”

What? “How, um, how long?”

“You want the real answer?” Cain’s face looked a little pink. Maybe he was a little embarrassed, too.

“At this point, yes.”

“Since the day I met you. I was more than happy to have you as my friend, but the minute I saw you stand up to those knuckleheads for some guy you didn’t even know? I wanted to chat you up immediately.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Cain shrugged. “Didn’t feel like it was right. Thought there was something more there, I just needed to dig for it. And look at that, I found it.”

Cal’s breathing picked up. He felt so warm, like there was fire all around him. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. For once, he wouldn’t recoil. “I want you to kiss me again.”

“‘Kay!”

Before Cal knew it, he had a lapful of excited LaRue, smiling, energetic, and kissing his brains out. Cain gently held the back of his head in one hand, cradling his face with the other. Cal had no idea where to put his hands, so he tried to keep them in an appropriate, respectful position at Cain’s shoulder and upper back.

Cain kissed him passionately, expertly, and Cal hoped it made up for the fact that he had no idea how to kiss at all. He tried to follow Cain’s lead, mimicking the movements of his lips and trying to give as good as he got. The harsh, jagged press of the stone beneath them was no match for the addicting softness that flooded his senses as he held Cain in his arms and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him.

He suddenly remembered air was important and pulled away to gulp down lungfuls of it. Cain continued kissing at the corner of his mouth, smiling into his skin and moving down his jaw. He kissed over his throat, and there was the barest hint of teeth at the tender flesh that made him yelp and rear back.

“Sorry! Sorry, was that bad?” Cain pulled back and sat on Cal’s knees, flushed and out of breath.

“No, not– um, not bad. Just, I wasn’t expecting that. I’ve never done anything like this before.” He felt a little stupid saying it out loud.

“That’s totally fine, we can go slow. Or at whatever pace you want, really. I want it to be good for you.”

“I want it to be good for you, too.”

“Anything with you will be good for me, Cal. We can just kiss right now, we don’t need to do anything else. I promise I’ll be nice and keep the teeth away.”

Cal laughed and leaned in to kiss him again.