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Chapter Text

After saving the Grove and scouting out the Underdark it was clear to Aiyana what the next few days would look like. Without knowing how long they would be in the Underdark and then the Shadowlands she wanted to give everyone a chance to soak in the sun. More importantly she wanted to do something for Astarion.

The last time they had slept together she had all but told him to back off. She had let herself believe that he actually did love her but she couldn’t ignore the gut feeling that this was just a tactical decision on his part. So she tried to leave and he tried to stop her. With a heavy heart she had told him, “If you have an ounce of consideration or respect for me then you’ll let me go.”

Then he did let her go but the next few days in the Underdark he started behaving recklessly. Jumping to the front of fights and not taking precautions. Aiyana often had to argue with him to stick to a plan. It was infuriating. She knew he was angry with her or maybe himself for how things were between them. A cowl they found in some loot from destroying the Duergars for the Sovereign seemed to help for a while. At least that was until Aiyana knocked herself out with a fireball spell when fighting a Beholder.

In all the time that they had adventures together Astarion hadn’t revived anyone. Yet, he revived her. Aiyana hadn’t seen him look frightened before. All those feelings she had before came back. Now she had to be careful. After all, it could have just been another performance.

“We’re going to the blacksmith forge,” Aiyana told him after they set out from camp. She made a point to talk and walk as much as possible.

“Just you and me?” Astarion hung back to watch her walk before realizing her pace was faster than he was expecting. He had to jog to keep up.

“Yeah,” Aiyana responded and looked to see if there were any herbs around to pick up. “I’m going to use the Sussur bark to forge you a weapon.” She tried to be as nonchalant about it as she could be. “That and I thought you would enjoy a walk in the sun.” She added and then turned back to him. “There’s no telling how long we’ll be in the dark or if we’ll even survive down there.” She hesitated for a moment and then added, “Just take your time to enjoy it while you can.”

Several minutes passed as they walked together. Astarion hadn’t thought about this being the last time he would be in the sun. Surely he could come up with another reason to not proceed through the Underdark. However their history proved that Aiyana took a lot of convincing to change her mind once a decision was made. It was a melancholy and somber thought to think that this could be the last time he saw the sun. Normally it would ruin his mood but for some reason this seemed uncomfortably nice.

Following where Aiyana led and watching as she discovered new places they hadn’t been to before was for lack of a better word, wonderful. Aiyana pointed out a different route around the remnants of the Nautiloid and teased him because the last time he got burnt walking through the wreckage instead of jumping over it like everyone else.

“I was just following you,” he scowled. “Like I am now.” If his memory served him correctly she had been able to walk through the fire without any damage then he could too. Aiyana laughed and took off down the other route. He grinned. This little chase they had going on was fun. Maybe if he caught her he could change her mind about going to the Underdark.

“Well, this time I won’t lead you through fire,” she called back to him as she ran. After a while she stopped running since she discovered a place she wasn’t familiar with. Aiyana looked up and saw the top of the Nautiloid was right next to a cliff with a lookout platform built on top of it. She saw Astarion coming up the trail towards her. The way he ran sometimes was funny to her but she put a hand over her lips and tried not to laugh at him. “See? No fire,” she said with a smirk.

A moment passed as they caught their breath and Aiyana could tell that if she waited any longer there would be no going back. She would fall right back under Astarion’s charms and at any moment he could make another advance. So, she turned away and started up the cliff side to see what was up on the lookout platform. “Let’s see what’s up here,” she said.

The exertion from climbing the rocks eased the yearning in the pit of her stomach. This overwhelming desire to be with Astarion was not the goal of this outing. In fact she was actively trying to run from it. She was trying to be nice and kind. It was difficult and he was relentless.

A gust of wind tossed her long hair back over her shoulders. It was a great place for a look out but it had clearly been abandoned before the crash. A skeleton was lying out on a bedroll next to a campfire. She wondered what could have possibly caused someone to die in their sleep. Then she was also grateful that the macabre sight could keep her focused on something else. The sound of Astarion reaching the top of the ladder made her to look back.

The skeleton at Aiyana’s feet definitely killed the mood Astarion had been looking forward to. A grimace crossed his face. “Lovely place to die,” he said sarcastically. “If it weren’t for the skeleton I’d say this would be a fine place for some fun.” He looked at her with his typical seductive gaze and smirk.

Aiyana rolled her eyes and turned away from him. “Do you have to spoil everything by trying to exploit something from me,” she said dejectedly. His relentless attempts to seduce her were maddening but it was just sad now. “I’m a lot more than whatever it is you think I can give you.” With her face turned away from him Aiyana felt safe enough to express the sadness and pity she felt for him without getting an immediate reaction. She let out a sigh and decide to go on investigating.

Astarion frowned for a moment as he considered what she said. After all, manipulation and exploitation was all he’d ever done outside of being personally abused by Cazador himself. There were a few things he considered saying in his defense but then realized that Aiyana wasn’t paying attention anyway.

Not wanting to linger on emotions in case he manipulated them, Aiyana crouched down beside an opening in some craggy rock. Astarion could see a glint of gold coming from the opening and took a step closer. Aiyana murmured something under her breath that seemed to quiet a low chittering sound of spiders. Then she pulled out a pouch that jingled with coins but also seemed to move on its own.

Opening the pouch revealed several gold coins and an egg sac. Aiyana tossed the egg sac past Astarion, expecting the spiders inside to die from the impact. Instead 5 crag spiders skittered across the ground. With a yelp Aiyana tried to back away but they just followed her wherever she went. “What’s going on?” She cried out. “Why are they following me?” One of the spiders folded up its legs and sat down in front of her as if waiting to be told what to do.

Astarion chuckled as she instinctively tried to find cover beside him but did everything she could to resist touching him. They were pretty surrounded. “You summoned them,” Astarion told her. “You’re like their mother,” he teased. Aiyana couldn’t hide the look of disgust on her face and he was just glad she was looking at the spiders instead of him. “They’ll do whatever you ask.”

Aiyana cleared her throat and clasped her hands in front of her. “You may go and serve Lolth as she sees fit,” she said in an uneasy tone. Another spider splayed its legs out as if enjoying the sun while another waved a leg. The movement caused her to recoil again.

“As far as they’re concerned you are Lolth,” Astarion said. Aiyana was so focused on the spiders at this point that she hadn’t realized how close they were. He tried not to touch her knowing she would only shy away again as she had all morning. He closed his eyes and remembered one of his favorite moments from the last time they were together. A moment when they were equally enthralled in pleasing one another. He opened his eyes and found her looking at him. This was it. Surely she would put aside whatever was keeping her from being with him.

Aiyana swallowed past a lump in her throat. Astarion lowered his arms and started to reach for her when she stepped away. “Let’s just get this over with,” she said and tiptoed around the crag spiders. Within a few moments she was descending down the ladder.
The laughter left his face and a sense of defeat filled him. Astarion took a moment and was surprised to find that instead of being angry or frustrated he was just sad. No! He was still angry but sadness was considerably stronger than he expected. He realized he was losing her, losing the chance of sleeping with her again and that memories would all he would have left of her. There was a wall there now and he wasn’t so sure he could break it down like he had before. He let out a long sigh and followed her down the ladder.

Aiyana was waiting for him patiently and for some reason it was easier for him to look at her now. He no longer had to throw himself at her. That opening had passed. Especially after what she just said. He looked back up the ladder. He could see a few spider legs wiggling over the top rung of the ladder and then disappear. “Are you just going to abandon them,” Astarion asked. He couldn’t help lashing out. There was no reason for her to know how she affected him. If she didn’t want to be with him then he could drive her away.

“Lolth will protect them,” Aiyana replied and went down the next cliff toward the main road. Astarion gritted his teeth. She wasn’t taking the bait to scold him and start a fight.

“But what would Corellon want you to do,” Astarion questioned with a sneer before descending the cliff face after her. It was no secret that religion was a ridiculous concept to him.

“Spiders are under Lolth’s care,” Aiyana explained. “Corellon had every right to punish Lolth for her betrayal,” she continued as he reached the bottom of the cliff. “Would you have enough grace to exile someone whom you loved and then betrayed you?” Aiyana asked pointedly then she jumped down the last step to the main trail and looked up at Astarion.

“No,” He responded with a hint of malice and then jumped down next to her. “I would have killed them without a second thought.” He stepped close to her and gave her a menacing look in an attempt to intimidate her.

“Which makes Corellon a better god than most,” Aiyana retorted with raised eyebrows. She wasn’t going to let him start a fight and drive a wedge between them. She started to walk along the main path and explained, “Lolth is blessed to have her own people, the Drow, despite being exiled to the darkness. This way Corellon still has to live with the betrayal and subsequent separation from his children Vhaeraun and Eilistraee. No one really comes out on top. Blessings are simply meant to be shared.”

Astarion followed her as they reached the main bridge to the Blighted Village. “Is that what we’re doing here?” He asked with his brow furrowed. “You’re blessing me?” He sneered and scoffed before folding his arms. “How like a cleric.”

Aiyana gave him a quizzical look. “You’ve been walking around all morning with my Sanctuary spell on you in case we were ambushed,” she pointed out. He looked down and seemed surprised. “I’m just trying to do something nice for you.” She shook her head and tossed her hands up in exasperation. “I’m trying to get your mind focused on something else besides me.”

It took a moment for Astrion to realize that was what she had been trying to do this whole time. With the Cowl from the Underdark and the walk. They were all attempts on her part to have him enjoy things other than herself. Whenever there was a locked door or chest she’d ask him to unlock it even though she was perfectly capable of picking locks herself. That and that he was Lolth and she was Corellon in the situationship they were in. “You’ve been playing me,” he said with half a laugh on his lips. “You—I.” He looked at her as a sudden soft smile appeared on her lips. The desire he had to seduce started to melt away. He lifted a finger and pointed at her, still rather stunned but impressed as well.

Aiyana turned towards him and smirked. “Took you long enough,” she said with her hand on her hip. “I know there is more to you than seduction and bloodlust.” She broke off a twig from a nearby tree and twirled it between her fingers. “I’ve been waiting to see if you could realize it for yourself.”

For a brief moment Astarion felt like doing something dashing and romantic but decided against it. He had just been played by someone he’d been actively trying to seduce. He couldn’t let her know she was getting under his skin. “Yes, gifts and allowing me to utilize my skills as a thief are always a welcome distraction,” he responded roughly. Aiyana’s smile faltered. He hadn’t meant for his words to completely undercut her small victory. “Let’s just move along,” he added with a sigh.

With a nod of her head Aiyana agreed and tossed the twig in her hand to the side. “I want to see what’s along this river first,” she said and made her way across the bridge and down a rocky slope. Astarion followed her.

There was a busted mindflayer pod on the other side of the river that was trickling over rocks and stones like a creek at this point in it’s journey. Aiyana knelt by the water's edge and splashed water on her face. “The forge will be really hot,” she told him. “Some fresh water should keep the heat from burning your skin if you get too close.” She straightened up and wiped the excess water from her face. Astarion was hesitant but bent down and did the same.

Aiyana started to whistle a tune as they stood beside the rushing water for a few moments. Astarion couldn’t quite place the tune himself but it was rather pretty to listen to. It was a peaceful moment where they could relax together. Then she took a deep breath. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s get to the Forge.” As they went back up the rocky slope she mentioned that there were still a few goblins in the village. “Once we’re done you could try out your new blade on them,” she suggested with a shrug. “Maybe grab a snack.”

“Sounds like a date,” Astarion responded with a teasing drawl and a smirk. The second he said it he regretted it. The response was automatic but probably not the right moment after the calm they just shared together.

Aiyana just shook her head and scoffed. “Maybe for the goblin,” she responded. They made their way through the entrance to the village and up to the shabby doors that led to the forge.

“Cheeky,” Astarion exclaimed, lengthening the smirk already on his face. Then he tutted at her and glanced up at the goblin still standing above the door. “Wouldn’t you rather volunteer your own blood?” He asked as Aiyana opened the doors. Her responses amused him. It was fun to see what she would say.

“Not if there’s plenty of Goblins to be had,” Aiyana replied and went inside. The jabs at her religion and way of life were expected but still annoying. “You don’t need my blood like you did the first time. Which you probably didn’t actually need to begin with.”

She had a point and Astarion shrugged before following her. It was true he probably didn’t need it but he did want it and he finally had the chance to taste the blood of another person after 200 years. It had been a win for him and the only regret was that she hadn’t offered to let him feed on her since that first time.

They walked into the dimly lit forge and Aiyana started the furnace. Astarion watched as she worked the bellows until the coals burned bright. Then she added the Sussur bark until the red flames turned a bright blue. She turned from the flames and searched her bag for the proper weapon. All she had was a knife. That seemed to be too basic. The plans had mentioned a sickle. She looked across the room and saw a ladder she hadn’t noticed before.

“I wonder what’s up here,” she thought aloud. Upon climbing the ladder she found a chest with a sickle inside. That definitely seemed like something Astarion would enjoy using rather than a regular dagger. She came back down and tossed the sickle onto the bed of blue flames. After a few moments the sickle and Sussur tree bark merged and created a masterwork weapon. “Here we are,” Aiyana said and the forge died down quickly. Likely some sort of magic made it safe to pick up so soon after forging. She gestured for Astarion to go ahead and pick it up.

The pale elf reached out and picked up the weapon. He couldn’t remember there being a time when someone made a weapon specifically for him. He knew now that Aiyana was trying to show him a different side of her affection for him. Rather than casting him aside she kept giving him gifts. It was weird but he was still grateful for the attempt and he couldn’t deny that this sparked an affection that he had growing now for her. “Thank you,” Astarion said as he examined the sickle in his hands. “You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“No, I did not,” Aiyana agreed emphatically, causing Astarion to smirk. “I’m not giving you anything else after this now that you've caught on to my plot.” She made a bit of a begrudging sound and shrugged. “I basically gave it away but whatever.”

Astarion put the sickle away and then gently kissed Aiyana on the cheek. “I mean it,” he said after pulling away. “Thank you for everything.” He wasn’t sure if she would believe him but some part of him meant it. Being sincere was weird for him so he leaned back to keep from ruining the moment by saying something stupid.

A huffy sigh escaped from Aiyana as she instinctively touched the cheek he kissed. “You’re welcome,” she replied. That was different from what she expected. He made the first move to leave the forge and she followed him out. Thank the gods that it was dark in the forge when it wasn’t lit and that the lingering heat was masking what she was sure was a blush. Then she followed him out.

“I guess it’s time for a snack,” Astarion said as they made their way to the upper level of the crumbling building. The goblin they had seen on their way in seemed oblivious to their presence. Aiyana stood back and let Astarion feed on the goblin. It only took a moment. Then she heard Astarion curse and jump down on the cobbled street below.

The sound of several curses shot through the air and Aiyana rushed to find Astarion laying in a pool of his own blood. “Astarion? No!” She screamed and saw that there were goblins on the rooftops. How could they have forgotten those goblins? She jumped down next to Astarion and tried to help him up but she couldn’t. He was completely lifeless. Aiyana let out a loud cry that turned from anguish to rage by the end.

The goblins tried to shoot her down next but she deflected them with her shield. She blinked until the tears were running down her face instead of pooling in her eyes. Aiyana steeled her nerves and took off for the side of the building where she could make it up a ladder. A spell and a couple thrusts of her sword took out the two goblins on that roof. Aiyana deflected more arrows as she took off down the ladder again. She made her way towards the opposite building where a Goblin had already come down from the roof. Probably to pick through Astarions pockets.

“You picked the wrong side of this fight,” Aiyana growled. The goblin tried to retreat but she quickly cut him down. Another spell took out the last goblin still on the roof and Aiyana rushed back over to Astarion and brought out her revive scroll to bring him back.

As Astarion got up Aiyana flung her arms around his neck. He was surprised to find her embracing him and then he realized that he was standing in a pool of his own blood. All the other goblins were dead. He hadn’t just been knocked out. He had died. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” she said. He could tell by the sound of her voice how terrified she was. “I thought you were gone. I thought you wouldn’t come back.”

Aiyana pressed her tear stained face against his neck. “Aiyana, I’m fine,” he assured her. “I’m right here.” She didn’t let go. “Look at me,” he said firmly and pulled her back so he could see her face. Aiyana’s face was splattered with gore and two streaks down her face from her tears. “I’m okay,” he insisted. You saved my life and I’m in your debt as much as I hate to admit it.”

Aiyana shook her head with anguish still lingering in her expressions. “You don’t owe me anything,” she said and before Astarion could react she took his face within her hands and kissed him. She thought, if he would just shut up and realize that she loved him and she didn’t want to live without him no matter how insufferable he could be. She pressed herself into him and tried to make him understand how she felt with her kiss.

Astarion closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her and she didn’t pull away. This was what he wanted. Her love and devotion even when he knew he didn’t deserve it. It was selfish but he didn’t care. Her love wasn’t like anything he had ever felt before. If only he could love her back as much as she clearly loved him. It then occurred to him that the wall she had put up all day had come down only because he had died.

His hands gently pulled Aiyana’s face back from their kiss. “Don’t say that just because I got melodramatic and died on you,” Astarion said firmly and pursed his lips. “I do owe you for saving my life and I’m sorry I lied to you when— well you know.” He wasn’t entirely sure how sorry he was but after seeing recognition in Aiyana’s eyes he went on. “I hope you can forgive me—and don’t you dare say you do right now,” he said as he saw her open her mouth. Her devotion was entirely misguided in the moment. “This is all just because I died in front of you!” He exclaimed and grabbed her by the waist and moved her back. “We’re standing in a pool of my own blood for gods sake.” He grimaced as a wave of weakness passed over him. Draining that goblin had been a waste of time and effort. Aiyana cast a spell of healing over him and he felt better immediately. “That’s better,” he said with a sigh and leaned back against a nearby wall.

The skittering of 5 crag spiders creeping into the village distracted them. “Look what we have here,” Aiyana said, turning away with a smirk and let a light laugh. “I guess they figured out how to follow us after all.”

“If only they had gotten here 5 minutes ago,” Astarion grumbled. “Maybe I wouldn’t have died so quickly.” He looked up and saw Aiyana smiling at him and they couldn’t help but laugh together for a moment. Aiyana pulled out a couple of health potions and handed them to him and they rested before heading back to camp.

The banter between Aiyana and Astarion continued as the spiders followed them. As they walked back they reached out a hand towards each other and intertwined their fingers. A new sense of respect was forged between them. Aiyana still wasn’t a fan of the spiders but Astarion teased her and called them Lolth’s children and forbade her from abandoning them again.

For whatever reason the spiders stayed until nightfall but then the next morning there were nothing but pools of blood where they had been seen last. “Astarion!” Aiyana yelled when she found the blood the next morning. “Did you feed on the spiders?”

“I died yesterday and Lolth provided me with a meal,” came Astarion’s snide retort from inside his tent where he was changing for the day. “That and they started crawling all over me. I didn’t like it.”

“Fine,” Aiyana groaned and rolled her eyes. “But you’re cleaning up your own mess. Death is no excuse.”

Astarion walked out of his tent and found Aiyana standing there in front of him with a smirk on her face. “Spider Killer,” she teased as the smirk turned into a grin. A knowing gaze let him know that his actions were no surprise to her.

“Goblin Slayer,” he responded with a grin that matched hers. Then they reached for each other and kissed for a moment before parting. The sexual tension between them was finally manageable and they could focus on more important things like not dying. No matter what happened from then on they would always have the memory of the sun, the spiders and the sickle.

Chapter Text

Camping in the Shadowlands was unsettling. The first night, Wyll’s patron, Mizora, appeared. Everyone in camp had ideas about how they should go about getting to Moonrise Towers. They had the moon lantern from the Lolth abomination and found out that there was a pixie inside. Aiyana was relieved that Jaheira and her Harpers had protection at The Last Light Inn. She could tell that everyone else in camp agreed. After the experience at the Crechè and Rosymorn Monastery Aiyana’s emotions were draining her. The shadowlands only made her feel worse. Now she was beginning to unravel.

The attack on the Inn where Fist Marcus came to kidnap Isobel. At that point an interaction with Jaheira seemed to set off bitterness and resentment in Aiyana. How the Harpers may one day sing songs of her own deeds. Aiyana’s face had hardened despite Jaheira’s words of hope. At that point Aiyana seemed to start falling apart.

At camp that night very little seemed to change Aiyana’s shift in mood. Even Astarion’s charms didn’t soften her demeanor. Normally sharpening the collection of knives was a task Lae’zel took on but tonight Aiyana decided to do it. It wasn’t because she was in a particularly violent mood. It was just a familiar practice that she attempted to use to calm herself down. Instead she was getting frustrated. The wheel was intended to be used for swords and not knives. The blade would often bounce off the wheel and throw the angle off.

Aiyana’s frustration was beginning to show on her face and she started to grumble. With each skip of the blade her frustration seemed to build up under her usual calm demeanor. Meanwhile all of the companions at camp were trying to figure out what exactly was bothering her.

“I’d say she’s upset that Mol was taken,” Wyll pointed out as he walked next to the campfire. “She’s consistently had a soft spot for children.” He pulled a cup out of their supplies and looked around for a drink.

“Yeah, but this is different,” Karlach responded. “It’s not guilt. She’s angry.” She looked into a pint of beer that Aiyana had offered her earlier that day. She’d manage to refill it after the fight. “Maybe it was something Jaheira said,” she added and tried to remember. Wyll hadn’t been present during the conversation and looked toward Shadowheart before sitting down on the ground next to the two women.

Shadowheart sighed and recalled, “She said something about bards and singing songs.” A shrug followed. “As a rule most Clerics are humble and rather spend their lives doing good deeds depending on their God,” she explained. “Having songs sung about them hardly seems to be a reason to be angry.”

Gale had been gathering food onto plates for people and decided to chime in. “We don’t actually know that much about her. Has anyone taken the time to ask her about herself?” He asked. The group exchanged looks, responded in the negative or shook their heads except for Astarion who had his arms folded over his chest and his body instinctively turned in the direction Aiyana was.

While everyone looked at him he decided to examine his nails hoping no one had noticed him listening and wondering the same thing. “Hmm?” He looked over at the campfire and noticed everyone looking at him. Apparently everyone knew that he and Aiyana were in a relationship. It’s not something he tried to hide. He just didn’t expect people to think he knew her better than they did. “If she had told me anything worthwhile I wouldn’t share it with you all,” he replied, emphasizing the word “me,” with a frown. “Not without her permission,” he added with a scoff and toss of his head.

With a furrowed brow and a glare Gale stepped towards Astarion. “So you haven’t found out anything about her and yet you’ve slept with her,” he said incredulously. Karlach put a hand out in front of Gale to keep him from doing anything rash.

Astarion gritted his teeth and bared his fangs ever so slightly. “I don’t see you making any more efforts in that regard,” he hissed in response. “Are we a bit jealous?”

“Boys!” Karlach exclaimed to break the tension between them. “No one gets to knock heads together while I still have a drink in my hand.” Her words seemed to calm them for now. The two men relaxed a bit but turned away from each other.

Astarion went back to looking at Aiyana. She seemed to have gotten into a groove. Then suddenly the blade skipped across the surface of the wheel again. With an angry shout she jumped to her feet and threw the knife into a nearby tree where the blade stuck fast into the wood with a loud thump.

The companions all turned from the campfire to look at her. Astarion swallowed, realizing that this kind of emotion is what motivated her to slaughter the goblins in the Blighted Village after her he had died suddenly in the past. She kept a tight lid on her emotions but her outburst made it clear he never wanted to be on the receiving end of her wrath. It was wild and he found it both attractive and intimidating. He went over to her without hesitation. When she turned around the look on her face stopped him in his tracks.

Hatred was seared into her face. Who or what she hated was unclear. After a moment Aiyana looked around at the companions and her face started to soften. Astarion continued to come towards her and reached his hands out to her. “Don’t touch me,” she snarled and then looked regretful once she saw the shock on Astarion’s face.

“None of you have cared to ask me about myself,” Aiyana went on as she looked at the others. Her expressions seemed to shift from sadness to anger with each passing moment. “I know all about you. Your inner conflicts and stories.” She shook her head as a bout of anger bubbled up again. “What about mine?” She asked as she pointed to herself. “Are these songs just going to be about the cultists I’ve slayed?” She asked with her voice dripping in derision. “The adventures I’ve had? Ha! You all were a part of it. Why should I be remembered?”

A cacophony of reasons came out all at once and echoed across the camp. Even Scratch and Withers seemed to have something to say about it. Aiyana was taken aback. She hadn’t expected for everyone to have something to say. There were no words, now, she could think to say. Her arms which had been articulating her inner conflict before now fell limp by her sides. There hadn’t been time for her to really think about how much she had affected everyone.

Silence fell over the camp. Astarion could see how vulnerable she felt. She was moving back as if to withdraw. He had seen that face often in the time that they had spent together. “Come, darling,” he said and put his hand out towards her. “Tell us all about you.”

Aiyana looked from his hand to his eyes and hesitated. Could she trust them to not scoff at her and consider her naive? Then she looked at everyone else in camp and saw the same expression. That look of care and respect that she needed in this darkest of places. Her brow was pinched as if in pain but she reached out for Astarion’s hand and just that initial touch of her hand in his caused her entire demeanor to change. Maybe she wasn’t as alone in this as she felt.

With his hand holding her Astarion guided her back to the campfire with everyone else. Wyll grabbed a chair for her to sit in and Scratch stayed close to her side. Aiyana squeezed Astarion’s hand as everyone got comfortable around the fire. The ground shifted under the legs of the chair Wyll set down behind her and Astarion stepped close to her before she took a seat. Within a moment he tried to pull his hand away and she didn’t want to let go. “You’ll be fine,” he whispered and she looked into his eyes and willed herself to let go of his hand.

Aiyana took a deep breath and sat down. Scratch put his head on her knee and she smiled at him. There was at least some comfort from him. He really was the best boy in camp. She waited until Wyll and Astarion were comfortable before she began.

“If you remember the story I told the Tiefling kids at the party, that was mostly true,” she started. “I was hunted by a vampire when I was young. I was less than 10 when it happened. Summoning a Daylight spell at that age was unheard of. My mother believed that Corellon blessed me because of my faith in him as a child. My father on the other hand took the change in our fortunes over the years a little too far.” Aiyana paused. While she loved her father he had a history of being reckless. At times he could be unreasonable. It reminded her of a certain person directly to her left.

“I take it you and your dad didn’t get along,” Karlach noted. The response encouraged Aiyana to continue. She nodded in response and gave Scratch’s head a few pets before replying.

“My dad is a Bard,” Aiyana told them. “My older brother is an expert smith. He settled elsewhere before I was born. I guess my dad was hoping that since I had an aptitude for singing as a child that I would take after him.” She shook her head. “After that night I didn’t want to sing for anyone for a long time. I was afraid it was my singing that made me a target. I barely spoke for a week after it happened. I kept having nightmares. Dreams where the spell didn’t work or the darkness suffocated me or even worse that any second my life would be over in an instant and I’d never be able to wake up again.” This news caused her captive audience to sober for a moment.

“Well, that explains why you decided to go to the Shadowlands by the mountain pass,” Gale surmised as if this answered a pressing question. “You used your light spells constantly in the Underdark. I knew there had to be a reason.” Astarion glared at Gale. His ability to point out the obvious was annoying. Shadowheart also disapproved of his statement. Gale shifted his weight, uncomfortable from the looks he received.

“I’m not afraid of the dark so much as I’m constantly aware of things that can hide within it,” Aiyana replied and looked at Astarion until he turned his head towards hers again. She looked down for a moment and went on in a more serious tone. “My mother is a Druid by trade. Though she usually refuses to wild shape into any animal for religious reasons.” Halsin shifted his weight at the edge of the firelight. “Corellon created us as elves. So that’s the way she should present herself. Though she has been known to lead a lost traveler through the forest as a deer sometimes,” she added for Halsin’s benefit.

“She was mainly a teacher and guide to people who passed through the human village nearby. They worshiped Lathander while we worshipped Corellon. It was a tense situation until the night I was hunted. My parents had found out about the Vampire from a group of men from the village. I wouldn’t have been able to hold the spell for long if they hadn’t come running. Enough about that,” Aiyana said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “My mother became over protective and my father decided that I would become the subject of his next epic saga.”

Aiyana grimaced while she remembered. “Since I wouldn’t sing anymore I threw myself into studying healing spells,” she went on. “More and more of the villagers were coming to my mother for advice and medicine. Healing was easy magic for me but it was difficult for me to find any kind of healing for myself. The growth of patients and notoriety went to my fathers head. He took it upon himself to guide anyone with a papercut our way.” She shook her head. “My mother was exhausted with how many people would come by. Even the healers in the village started to hate us. After a while my father was thrown out of the tavern and driven out of the village. He went into a deep depression. I did everything I could to get out of that manor. I spent more time in the village learning about humans and tieflings and all manner of things. While my faith will always be devoted to Corellon I began to appreciate the teachings of Lathander and eventually moved to Baldur’s Gate where the second half of my story begins.”

“Wait—“ Karlach interrupted, “If we’re only halfway through I’m gonna need a refill.” She got up to rummage through the supplies. Aiyana was grateful for the pause. Her rapt audience took a few moments to collect their thoughts.

“Was this Left hander why you entrusted me with the egg instead of giving it to that horrible woman?” Lae’zel asked her out of the blue. It took a moment for Aiyana to realize she meant Lathander. “I know you were particularly disgusted with my kind after you found out about the fate of the monks.”

It took a few moments for Aiyana to consider Lae’zel’s question. “I’ve found that children have an immense capacity for wisdom that as adults we often overlook. My hope was that by letting you carry the egg of an innocent life that it would somehow make you a better person than leaving it behind or selling it for money and research,” she said. Lae’zel seemed to consider her words but said nothing in response. “I have often found comfort in the courage of children. Mol especially gives me courage. You can’t get anything past her.”

Karlach settled back into her original position. “If anything happens to that kid heads will roll,” she agreed and took a sip of her new refreshment. Wyll nodded. “I’ll drink to that,” he said and offered her his own cup which they clinked together.

“So what happened after you moved to Baldur’s Gate?” Shadowheart asked. “They don’t have a place to worship Corellon in the city that I’m aware of,” she added. “Did you join other clerics?”

“No,” Aiyana replied as she sat back in her seat. “I actually went to the city to join the Artisan Guild there. My brother suggested it. After all the drama at home I ended up having a real talent for art and making things with my hands. It was a way for me to be around people and just finally figure out who I wanted to be.” A smile crossed her face. “I loved being able to make something that people enjoyed. People didn’t have any preconceived notion about me. It was wonderful until I had been instructed to deliver a piece to a part of the city I wasn’t familiar with yet. Normally the Guild doesn’t deliver. You have to come and get your items. I was told that the piece was for a widower.”

She frowned and her brow furrowed. This was the part she hadn’t really told anyone about before. “It was a brooch,” she said quietly. “A rose of gold with facets of rubies in the petals and emerald for the stem and thorns. I had never made a finer piece of jewelry. The man who ordered it spun some story about the piece being for a woman with a lover and a garden of roses and I should have known better but I was excited about it and I fell for it.” Aiyana swallowed and closed her eyes.

As Aiyana recalled she missed how Astarion seemed to recognize the description she made of the brooch. Everyone else was invested in her tale but this was beginning to sound too familiar to him. He knew that brooch. It hadn’t meant much to him at the time he found it hidden in the belongings of one of his brothers. If it really had been Aiyana’s then it was a secret he’d have to keep and use to his advantage.

“Once I finally arrived at the address I realized too late that it was a trap,” Aiyana continued. “There was no widower, just the man who had ordered the piece to begin with. He knocked me out next thing I knew I was tied to a chair in some dark basement. The man told me that his master never forgets a face. I was confused at first. It never occured to me that the vampire who had hunted me as a child would have a criminal network. It wasn’t until I met Astarion that I learned about spawns and things like that.” She looked at Astarion who was frowning and stiffend before leaning back. “He never used his real name. To this day I have no idea who he was. He said I needed to be punished for getting away from his master as a child.” She clenched her fists as she braced herself for the next part of her story.

“Then he brought in a little girl.” Karlach suddenly gasped. “She was wearing the same dress I was wearing that night.” A tear slid down Aiyana’s face that expressed both the horror she felt and the pain it caused her to finally say it out loud. “She was terrified and I lost it. I don’t remember how it happened but I managed to break the chair I was tied to and stabbed him with one of the splintered ends of the chair leg. I grabbed the girl and ran.”

Relief started to set in now that the worst of her story was over. The tears on her cheeks started to dry as she wiped them off. She spoke quickly now. “It took me a while to recover from that but I eventually came to a better place mentally. I reported the assault but nothing came of it. The girl became my ward until she came of age. The last I heard she was in training to become one of the Flaming Fist.” She shook her head. “Now I’m not so sure she’s okay after taking down Marcus and losing Mol. She may be the next person I have to destroy on this maddening journey we’re on.”

“Yes, this journey does seem to affect us all,” Gale said in an attempt to encourage her. He was partially successful. “I don’t think any of us are going to make it out of this unscathed.” A few nodded in agreement.

“Most certainly not if you explode too close to us,” Lae’zel responded in her raspy voice. Wyll and Shadowheart stifled a laugh behind exchanged glances and the clearing of their throats. Gale glared at the three of them while Lae’zel managed a faint smile.

“I’m just glad you got that kid out of there,” Karlach said in a hushed tone. “I know awful things happen to outer city kids but that’s just — diabolical. To think what she and you both had to endure after all that. You really are stronger than you look.”

Agreements, discussions and questions followed the end of Aiyana’s story but she was exhausted. Gale decided it was his duty to usher everyone else to bed. Once they moved on Gale approached her with a golden potion.

“We only have one,” he told her. He’d been saving it for himself but there hadn’t been a need for him to use it. “But if anyone deserves an extra rest when they need it, it should be you.” It was an Elixir of Angelic sleeping. “Sleep well.” He inclined his head towards her and nearly smirked at Astarion before walking away and leaving the two lovers alone.

Aiyana looked up at Astarion as he stood next to her. He seemed to be lost in thought. She looked down and sighed. They would need to talk privately after what she had shared with everyone. There was nothing to be certain of but she couldn’t deny the possibility that they had a common enemy now. She reached for Astarion’s hand as the silence between them lingered.

He didn’t pull his hand away and instead cupped his fingers around hers. Aiyana was again relieved. She had worried that her story may have upset him. Astarion seemed to avoid her eyes but helped her out of the chair. “We have a lot to talk about,” he said softly. “Let’s go somewhere a bit more intimate.”

Astarion then led her to a partitioned part of his tent. Aiyana noted how compact and heavy the air felt here. It was a bit like a coffin. She hesitated. They had been here on a former tryst. Then he took her by surprise when he started to kiss her gently. It was different from the usual intense passion she was used to building up between them. Then she realised that he knew something and he was considering if he should even tell her.

“I’ve seen the brooch you mentioned,” he admitted softly. “One of my brothers had it in their possession. I stole it from him. I didn’t know it was yours.” Aiyana’s brow furrowed. Her blue eyes looked into his scarlet eyes to see if he was lying. She found no lie. He was confirming what she suspected all along. The vampire who had hunted her as a child was none other than Cazador Szarr. Her head lowered in defeat at the news. Astarion pressed his lips against her furrowed brow.

Aiyana closed her eyes and let tears fall down her face if there were any left to fall. The years of not knowing and finding out the truth was overwhelming. “It was so much worse than I could bear to tell them,” she admitted as relief seared through her emotions like a hot knife. Her body started to tremble and she steadied herself against him. “I’m so tired of putting on a brave face and acting like I’m okay when I’m not.”

“You don’t have to do that with me,” Astarion whispered half the truth and half what he knew she needed to hear. “I promise.” He kissed her a few more times. “Once we find out what the scars on my back are for we’ll take Cazador down, together.” He picked up her wrist with his fingers and then pressed his hand against her palm and intertwined his fingers with her.

“Together,” Aiyana agreed, pulling her head back to look up at him. She looked into his scarlet eyes again and could see that look in his eyes that seemed a whisper away from adoration. Something close to light within the darkness of his eyes. Then she kissed Astarion with a sudden hunger. All doubts of the sincerity of his affection she put aside. She wanted him and she wanted to be one with him even if she ended up regretting it in the end. He groaned in response to her sudden eagerness and quickly started to undress her as she began to do the same to him. The only things left to be said were their names on each other's lips.

“Aiyana.”

“Astarion.”

The two lovers merged in swift movements as they settled into a night of passion unfettered by insecurities and doubts. Fate had brought them together and they were one in mind, body and purpose. No shadows, parasites, gods, cults or masters could reach them there in the cloistered veil of their tent. Even when exhaustion stopped them they lay together glowing in the feeling of being completely known by each other. Faerûn and its dangers didn’t exist outside of their embrace until time started its relentless crawl forward and the night came to an end.

Chapter Text

Several long rests had passed since the last time Aiyana and Astarion had slept together. In the Shadowlands it was hardly a night of rest. It was always like night there. Aiyana was resting her back against one of the stone walls a ways from camp. She once again had a lot on her mind.

While exploring Reithwin they had met Raphael outside the mausoleum of Ketheric Thorm. While Aiyana still didn’t care for the devil she had agreed to kill the Orthon in order to find out what Astarion’s scars meant. The way Astarion had responded had confused and rather hurt Aiyana in the moment.

“Don’t get in my way,” he had said. Then once they met the Orthon, Yuglir, Aiyana had persuaded the devil to end his minions and his pet leaving them only himself to destroy. The entire time Astarion was impatient and interrupted her plans. Even after Astarion took down the devil himself his attitude didn’t seem to change.

Aiyana had expected to have regrets but she hadn’t expected to feel used and betrayed. Instead she tried to move on from the relationship all at once. If Astarion was going ro be rude then her efforts were better spent elsewhere. She considered a ruse with one if the other in the camp to make him jealous. That seemed a little too dramatic and she didn’t want to hurt anyone else in camp. She wanted to hurt Astarion or at least cause him discomfort.

Then when the big reveal came from Raphael about Cazador’s plans to be a Vampire Ascendant it became clear to Aiyana that she had been fooling herself all along. In their discussions following the news Aiyana could tell that Astarion was considering Ascension for himself. How could she blame him for wanting to take what he felt like he was owed. The ritual itself was sure to be costly if it had never been done before. People would die and that wasn’t something Corellon would want her to allow. The comparison she had once made between the two of them and Corellon and Lolth settled on her mind. Perhaps they weren’t intended to stay together after all.

This train of thought was sobering and it was why she was sitting alone in camp tonight. She was beginning to realize that she had fallen in love with a version of Astarion that she wanted him to be rather than who he was. She wasn’t sure how to tell him about it. Aiyana had been watching her companions move about camp when she noticed Astarion was missing from her point of view.

“Hello, darling,” came Astarion’s voice from Aiyana’s left. She turned, looked at him and wondered how long he had been watching her. His presence hadn’t surprised her but she frowned at him anyway.

Astarion had a certain look on his face and she guessed why he was there. “Looking for your regular pick me up?” She responded to his greeting. He seemed a bit taken aback but Aiyana was pleased that her response wasn’t what he expected.

“As a matter of fact I am,” Astarion replied slyly. “The orthon didn’t really have much left in him and you taste so much better.” He smiled as he could hear Aiyana’s heart skip a beat and watched as she fought off a shadow of a smile on her face. After their last night together he figured he might get lucky if he asked this time.

She looked up at him from where she was sitting on the ground. “Fine,” she relented as her bright blue eyes turned suddenly cold. “But I’m not getting up from here.” Aiyana smirked as the smile that was growing in Astarion’s face dissolved into a frown. She raised her eyebrows. They weren’t in the center of camp but there wasn’t anything to obstruct them from view either. “Is that a problem?”

“No,” Astarion replied but he wasn’t sure why she was behaving the way she was right now. Before this experience had been like two magnets doing everything to keep from colliding but now, for some reason, that magnetism seemed to be flipped. “Have I done something wrong?” He asked. He had noticed her growing distant but that hadn’t been out of character for her. She often withdrew from him after they had slept together. This seemed different and he wanted to know what it was more than he wanted to drink her blood.

The glare from Aiyana’s eyes could have burned through parchment paper. “You know what,” she reacted with a huff and got to her feet. “I’ve changed my mind. Go bite someone else tonight,” she said with a frown and crossed her arms over her chest.

For the first time in ages Astarion was scrambling to figure out what to do. What did he do to start losing her approval this time? Should he feign indifference? Why the hells was this so hard now? “Please,” he managed to say before she could turn to stalk off. “Whatever I did, let me make it right.” Aiyana hesitated. Yes, she did have a tendency to forgive people. Maybe he could fix this.

“And if you can’t make it right?” Aiyana asked through gritted teeth. Her hands balled into fists. She wanted to punch him in the face but knew that probably wouldn’t get her anywhere. Astarion took a step back and she tried to relax. She was angry but not at him. Though she wished she could be.

Aiyana looked down and took a deep breath. “You were right,” she admitted and then glanced back up at him.

He couldn’t quite place what emotion she was expressing. “Well of course I was,” he responded with the short high laugh of his and then paused as his brow knitted together. “Right about what?”

“I was naive,” she said and noticed how he looked to the side as if trying to remember when he said that out loud. It didn’t matter if he said it to her face or not. It was obvious to her that he had been using his charms to keep her from abandoning him. Still she did care about him especially after he told her he recognized the brooch. Of course that could have been a lie and that was why she had been so upset to begin with. She just didn’t trust her own instincts right now. Aiyana was surprised to learn her confession garnered no quick remark from him.

“I fell in love with a version of you that benefitted my own narrative,” she went on and his scarlet eyes met hers. “When I looked at you I could see a man. I could forget about you being a vampire for a while.” He broke eye contact with her then. “Then after finding out about this ritual,” she trailed off, looked away and sighed. “That version of you isn’t who you are.” A muscle flexed around her jaw as she clenched her teeth. Astarion was as still as stone. “I don’t really know you at all,” she said softly and then lifted her head as if to signal a final statement.

Aiyana put out her hands as a sign of surrender but also acceptance that she had to let go of those old feelings of love, lust and affection. “So take what you need,” she said with a heavy heart, “and then just leave me alone.” She turned her head to the side so he could bite her.

This was not what Astarion wanted. At first he may have been playing a role but now that he knew how Cazador had hurt her as well things had changed. Now that he knew she had been seeing him as a man that was all he wanted. How on earth could she cause him to feel like this. He stepped close to her knowing that this moment wouldn’t last as long as he wanted to.

He lifted a lock of her hair and pulled it out of his way before leaning in and biting her neck. He wanted to remember how she smelled in his arms. As her blood slid down his throat he pressed his hands against her shoulder blades. Astarion closed his eyes as he drank and pulled her close. He didn’t need much but he lingered as he pressed his lips against her neck and tried not to pull his finger tips down her back. He could feel her breath against his skin and he pulled back. Aiyana’s warmth turned cold from the experience but he didn’t want to let go.

Astarion kept his face close to her. He wanted her but he could see a tear pooling in one of her eyes. Why had he expected any better for himself? He was a vampire after all. He remembered the kiss at the Blighted Village, how he had confirmed her worst fears about Cazador and how he held her in his arms. He wanted her to want him now like she had then.

The tear pooling around Aiyana’s eyes slid down her face. There it was again. That look of a broken and lonely man that she had just convinced herself wasn’t really him. The way he had just bitten her felt like he was trying to say goodbye. Aiyana touched her face where the tear fell and backed away from him. She whispered the spell to remove the bloodless effect and then took off. This was just too much for her to process all at once.

Aiyana walked away and left Astarion with a longing and lonely feeling in his gut. It was a feeling he wished he couldn’t feel. It was painful. His head was reeling now. She had been the one to clear things up for him and now he had to figure things out on his own. Death had seemed like a wonderful option in comparison to going back to Cazador or being turned into a Mind Flayer, until now. Now for some reason he wanted to live.

For some reason it felt like Aiyana’s spell hadn’t worked. She felt weak and she was shaking. Her head was also spinning. She tried shaking her head, rubbing her face but nothing seemed to work but sitting in silence. Then after a while even that didn’t work. She tried pacing. That didn’t work either. Neither did kicking rocks.

“I brought you some food,” came a voice. Aiyana turned to find Karlach with a plate of food. “Everyone pretty much saw Astarion bite you earlier and something is clearly going on between you two.”

Aiyana groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said quickly.

“Then don’t,” Karlach replied, “Eat. You’ll feel better.” Aiyana came over and took the plate. She took a few bites of what seemed to be an unevenly cut sandwich.

“Men suck,” Aiyana said with her mouth slightly full and then tried not to choke as she realized what she just said. Karlach howled and then started to double over in laughter as Aiyana covered her mouth before trying to swallow. “That was not the best choice of words,” she admitted as she grinned behind her finger.

“Ah,” Karlach was breathing heavily as her laughter finally started to ease up. “I really needed that,” she said and wiped away a few tears in the corner of her eyes. “Men do suck!” She agreed with a grin and tried not to start cackling again. It took a few moments for Karlach to ease back into the more somber reason that she came to find Aiyana.

The cleric sensed that there was more to Karlach’s approach than to just cheer her up. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear what the tiefling had to say but being alone like she wanted didn’t seem to be helping either. The laughter had helped her feel better. Aiyana exchanged glances with Karlach. “I suppose everyone in camp has something to say about what happened,” she said to put Karlach at ease.

“Look,” Karlach started hesitantly. “We’ve all pretty much figured out that you and Astarion have a common goal to defeat Cazador.” She pressed her lips together and furrowed her brow in confusion. “And we’re all behind you but what just happened was hands down the weirdest thing I’ve witnessed between the two of you.” Aiyana’s face showed how she wasn’t following. “I get the whole fuck em’ and leave em’ from Astarion,” Karlach admitted with a rough laugh. “But from you?” She shook her head in disappointment. “What changed?”

Aiyana took a moment to respond. It hadn’t occurred to her that her actions would have had an affect on anyone except Astarion. He was incredibly practiced at deception but apparently the others noticed something she didn’t. “I fell in love with a version of him that wasn’t real,” Aiyana admitted. “It was just a version of him that I wanted to see and not who he is. I just had to accept him for being a vampire.” She looked down at her feet and grabbed her own arm to comfort herself. “Learning about the ritual and all that power that I know he wants for himself. I just,” she hesitated, “l don’t know if I can live with him like that. I just wanted to be alone.”

Karlach looked a bit sheepish now that she knew Aiyana wanted to be alone. “I guess that sort of makes sense,” she responded, satisfied with Aiyana’s answer. “It’s just something Wyll said that made me wonder what had actually happened.”

“What did he say?” Aiyana asked.

“Something along the lines of, in all my years I’ve never seen a vampire bite someone as if it was the last time they’d ever see them,” Karlach said and then noticed how Aiyana’s eyes flashed to meet hers. “He’s still in camp!” She explained as Aiyana instinctively lunged forward at the thought that Astarion had left. “Though, it’s pretty clear that you’re still in love with him.”

Aiyana let out a sharp sigh in irritation. “I don’t know how I feel,” she exclaimed. “I don’t know what part of the past few weeks have actually been him,” she emphasized with one hand, “or just some part he was playing in order for me to get what he wanted!”

Karlach put up her hands to appease her. “It’s complicated,” she said. “I get it. Just know that I’m rooting for you two. Life’s too short. Maybe it’s different for you as an elf but, nobody gets to live forever.” The tension between the two women dropped.

“You’re right,” Aiyana admitted and sighed. “I just don’t know right now.” She shook her head and looked around as if she hoped for a sign to pop out of the bushes nearby.

“Take it easy and just have some fun the next few days then,” Karlach advised with a shrug. “I bet meeting with Halsin at the lake would be a great distraction.” Aiyana raised an eyebrow in response. “Not like that,” she added and then smirked. “Unless that’s what you like.”

“Halsin is not my type,” Aiyana stated matter of factly. “He reminds me of my parents.”

The tiefling grimaced in response. “Yeah, that’s definitely a turn off,” she agreed and started to step back. “I’ll leave you alone with your uh, I guess it’s a sandwich,” she said with a glance at the plate she brought.

“Good night Karlach,” Aiyana replied and smiled as the tiefling walked back to the campsite. Somehow talking with Karlach had helped a lot. She finished eating and followed not long after feeling lighter in spirit than she had in days.

~*~

The next day was similar. While Aiyana basked in the company of her other companions she seemed to glow. Laughter came easily back to her face. Astarion watched her from afar as she returned from a fight with Gale, Wyll and Halsin.

He had barely spoken a word to anyone as he watched how happy Aiyana was without him. He was listless but he supposed this is what it was supposed to feel like when you accept that a person you love doesn’t love you back. Acceptance. What a disgusting concept to understand. Yet, somehow there was a peace he had about the situation. He had made up his mind to stay. There was no way you could take on Cazador without this group of weirdos anyway.

“Astarion,” came a voice. He looked up and saw Aiyana looking at him. “We’re going to Moonrise. I want you to come,” she said and smiled at him. Maybe there was still hope. Astarion walked away from where he was sulking and stood by her side. There wasn’t any other place he’d rather be.

Chapter Text

Aiyana’s mind finally had cleared after spending some time with Halsin, Wyll, and Gale. Together they had been able to piece together Thaniel. Being around men who she didn’t have to think about in the back of her mind was like spending time with her family. There was no sexual tension and learning what Halsin had to say about things he remembered from the past was welcomed. She needed a change of pace.

The walk back to camp had been rather long. Aiyana had successfully convinced Oliver that Thaniel needed his help. It reminded her of her ward Olivia. Becoming responsible for another person after being kidnapped had been healing for her. It has also been hard considering the events that had followed.

When they arrived back at camp Aiyana announced that they were going to scout out Moonrise Towers. Since Halsin didn’t have a tadpole she would have to adjust who was in her party. Wyll pulled Aiyana aside for a moment.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he said in a low voice. “Who was your ward?” Aiyana looked down at his hand on her arm and he let go. He pressed his lips together. “If she is caught up in all of this I want you to know I’ve got your back.”

After a few moments Aiyana considered why he would need to prove that he had her back. “Her name is Olivia,” she told him and then smiled. “Thaniel and Oliver sort of remind me of her I guess. When she was younger I mean.”

Wyll smiled back. “I was beginning to think I wasn’t of much use to you,” he admitted. He had just fallen asleep for most of the last battle and seemed a bit embarrassed by it but Gale had met the same fate. “If we run into her, I’ll help you keep her safe.”

“Thank you, Wyll,” Aiyana responded and for a moment her smile faltered. “I think she’d like to meet you,” she added politely. She turned away from him and swallowed. Her face was pale and she had a distant look in her eyes as if remembering something.

Then Aiyana recruited Shadowheart. If they ran into Ketheric a follower of Shar would be a considerable ally to him. She also would be more convincing as a true soul than Wyll. Then there was Gale whose main goal at this point was to destroy the Absolute for Mystra. It was a plan Aiyana despised but if it was what he wanted she would bring him along. That left one more person. 

“Astarion,” she said without thinking and then hesitated. Her heart flipped in her chest and she tried not to bite her lip. “We’re going to Moonrise,” she said and looked over at him. “I want you to come.” She watched him get up and walk over to her without a word. Karlach was right, she was still in love with him. The feelings wouldn’t go away all at once but she couldn’t avoid being around him either.

“As you wish,” is all Astarion managed to say to her before they packed up and left. Aiyana was tempted to look at him but decided not to. The four left for Moonrise and crossed over the bridge.

There were lanterns on the top of light posts and Aiyana noticed that there were all moon lanterns. They each had to have a pixie inside. It was unnerving but she did her best to persuade the guards that they had matters to attend to that weren't their concern. It worked and they were allowed inside.

Ketheric was in the main hall which Aiyana decided to avoid for the time being. Instead they looked around until they ran into a female Drow who seemed to be experimenting with blood. The woman spoke in a slow sultry voice that made Aiyana’s skin crawl.

Aiyana refused the Drow’s offer to take her blood in exchange for something powerful. When her attention turned to Astarion, Aiyana’s hands balled into fists. The way she talked to him as if he had no mind of his own. It reminded her that until recently he probably didn’t. 

Astarion surprised Aiyana. He seemed genuinely unnerved once the drow announced that she wanted him to bite her. Then he declined. Aiyana looked at him with her eyebrows raised. He looked disgusted.

The Drow spoke to Aiyana as if Astarion belonged to her. “Astarion is his own person,” she responded with disdain. The drow opened her mouth to laugh. “He said no,” she added in a low growl. The Drow shrugged it off and let the bargain stand. The amount of loathing brimming through Aiyana after meeting the Drow was enough to cut their mission short.

It was no secret that Aiyana struggled with a righteous temper. Usually she could keep it under wraps but that had been too close. If she hadn’t kept it together they would probably all have died. 

Gale tried to encourage Aiyana. “That Drow was a piece of work,” he said on their way back into camp. “No matter how fascinating her sanguine experiments might be,” he said sarcastically, “There is simply nothing I—“

“It’s not about you,” Shadowheart pointed out to him and then grabbed him by the arm. There seemed to be a certain glance between them that Aiyana hadn’t noticed before. Were they smiling at each other? It hadn’t quite occured to Aiyana that her companions might be experiencing romances of their own. Wyll and Karlach were talking over drinks and Lae’zel looked like she was asking Halsin about how to take care of the githyanki egg in her hands.

Scratch came up to Aiyana and she happily gave him plenty of pets as they got settled down for the end of the day. After taking her armor off Aiyana remembered she was still wearing Astarion’s shirt. The memory caught her off guard.

It had been the night Astarion confirmed that it was Cazador that had caused her so much pain. That night she had been so focused on her need for being with Astarion that she hadn’t realized that her shirt had been torn off in the process. She took a moment to remember how that night had started and felt her skin start to flush.

“Do you have a moment?” Astarion suddenly asked. 

Aiyana nearly jumped out of her skin. She hadn’t expected him to want to talk to her tonight. The nature of her current thought didn’t help how her heart was already racing. She tried to dust herself off and recover like it wasn’t a big deal. “Yeah, sure,” she responded and found that there was nothing mischievous in his face. Intrigued, she followed him back towards his tent.

“I wanted to thank you for what you said to that vile Drow earlier,” Astarion started. Aiyana put her head to one side, curious as to why he couldn’t have just thanked her and moved on. “After 200 years of seducing marks and bringing them back to Cazador it would have been easy to just do what I was told,” he said as he went on. “I could have forced my way through feelings of disgust and did what you wanted but,” he hesitated and looked at Aiyana with a sense of awe in his expression. “You didn’t do that,” he said gently. “And I’m grateful.”

There was no lie in Astarion’s eyes. It reminded Aiyana of how he looked at her when he told her about the brooch and how Cazador was behind her past trauma. He had been telling the truth all along. Her heart swelled for a moment but she needed to be sure. “What about me?” She asked. “Was the last time we had sex just another performance?”

“Gods no!” Astarion exclaimed. Aiyana gave him a doubtful look and he put his hands up to explain himself further. “At first seducing you was easy—“ the look turned into a glare, “—I needed protection. People don’t trust Vampires. Perhaps understandably so.” He let out a huff as Aiyana folded her arms across her chest. “Then I started to have genuine feelings for you,” he admitted. “Being with you the last time was completely different than anyone else I’ve ever been with.”

Aiyana’s demeanor shifted as he spoke. Her eyes continued to search for some hint of a lie but she couldn’t find one. Her heart started to pound and before he could say anything else she opened her mouth. “I care about you,” she confessed. Regret for what she had put him through was expressed in a hopeful smile.

He looked surprised. “Really?” He asked in a hushed tone. He could barely believe it. She still cared? Then she reached out and hugged him. Astarion was shocked at first. He had convinced himself that he would never hold Aiyana in his arms again. Yet here she was. He slowly put his arms around her and hugged her back. His head rested on her shoulder for a moment. Then she pulled back from him.

“I have no idea what we’re doing,” Astarion said with a short laugh. Considering that they were a couple was exciting and he couldn’t help but grin as her expressions reflected his own thoughts. “Or what comes next. But this?” He put out a hand for Aiyana to take. As she put her hand in his he said, “This is nice.” Then he covered her hand with his.

“Yes it is,” Aiyana agreed as she let Astarion hold her hand in both of his. She struggled with her former thoughts of lust for a moment. Her desire to be with him needed to be abandoned for this to work. Maybe she could let him take the lead this time.

Just holding her hand seemed to warm whatever was left of his heart. Astarion would have showered her with praise in the past but he wanted things to be different now. Despite how much he reveled in his ability to please her sexually he wanted to try things in a more distinguished manner. “I’ll let you finish getting ready,” he said. “Then maybe we could just talk for a while tonight.”

Aiyana smiled at the suggestion and put her free hand on top of his. It had occurred to her that holding her hand in both of his was a gentle gesture of his interest in making this work. She hoped that her hand on his, reassured him. “I’d like that,” she replied with a pleased smile. She gave his hands a squeeze before letting them go.

~*~

Later that night Astarion and Aiyana sat next to each other and watched the campfire burn. They talked at length about themselves. Questions were asked and answered in turns. Who was the brother who kidnapped Aiyana? Petras. A fitting name for his face. Why did she decide to sleep with him the night of the Tiefling party? He was the only one who asked. 

“I thought you had something going on with Gale,” Astarion responded. “Didn’t you two have something with your little magic instruction?” He waved his fingers about to emphasize his words.

Aiyana chuckled softly as she sat closer to Astarion and rested her head again his shoulder. “It was a moment,” she admitted. “But then at the party he got weird about when I thought he was talking about his cat and he corrected me.” She leaned forward for a moment to make sure that Gale was thoroughly asleep. “How was I supposed to know his cat was a tressym.” She rolled her eyes and leaned back against Astarion. “I don’t like being talked to like I’m a fool.”

“Not even if I were to say you were a beautiful fool,” Astarion teased her as he turned his face towards hers. They were only a few inches apart and he studied the lines of her lips.

A smirk crossed Aiyana’s face as he watched her. He pressed his lips against hers for a brief moment and pulled back. Astarion was pleased to hear her hum a sound of approval while he kissed her. “A fool’s still a fool no matter how pretty they are,” she replied. “But maybe I could be your fool,” she teased.

A low chuckle escaped him. “I do like the idea of you being mine,” he admitted then he took a moment to consider what she would be like if she had fangs. If somehow he Ascended he could have the kind of power to possibly save her from becoming an illithid. They would be free and no one could keep them apart. Then he looked into her eyes and hesitated. It was her turn to ask him a question.

“Why didn’t Cazador send you to come after me?” She asked him as she held his hand that seemed to be tracing a tattoo on her face. It was a question he had hoped she wouldn’t have asked. He pulled his hand away from her face. Aiyana’s brow furrowed for a moment. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” she reminded him.

Astarion heaved a sigh. “It’s not that I don’t want to answer,” he said reluctantly. “I just don’t know.” He leaned away from her on his hand as he thought. He knew Aiyana wouldn’t push him but he believed she deserved to know something. “Petras was usually Cazador’s choice for enacting threats. I have no idea why he came up with some ruse to lead you into a trap. Perhaps I was occupied elsewhere.” He shook his head as he speculated. Then he looked at her listening to him. “Petras is an idiot. He would have been severely punished for failing to capture you,” he told her. “But I’m glad he did. We wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t.”

The thought of not having been able to escape had plagued Aiyana’s mind as much as her survival from escaping Cazador as a child had affected her. She instinctively withdrew from Astarion’s presence and hugged her knees to her chest. There was more to her history with Petras than she had let on. She turned her head to him and waited for his next question.

To ease her sudden withdrawal Astarion changed the subject and asked about her tattoo. It was a light gold color which contrasted against her blue eyes quite well. Each time Astarion kissed her forehead his lips would press against skin that was decorated with thin lines of a standing chandelier with blades at the end instead of candles. The body of the chandelier gathered at the bridge of her nose and stopped. The four feet of the chandelier was tattooed on her chin. It emphasized a small cleft she had that he hadn’t noticed before that night.

“It is a reminder that things aren't always what they seem,” Aiyana explained. The change of subject helped take her mind off what was bothering her. “A chandelier can be a weapon. An animal can be a guide. A melody can make a person laugh or cry.” She said. "It's all a matter of perspective and context.

“I thought you didn’t sing anymore,” Astarion responded as his fingertips danced across the lines of her tattoo. “Though you did happen to whistle once,” he remembered. The feeling of his fingertips on her face tickled and she pulled back. He dropped his hand and looked at her. 

Aiyana chuckled and dipped her head as she remembered when she whistled as they stood by the trickling waters of the Chionthar. “I was trying to see if the birds would join in,” she admitted with a sheepish look as she rubbed her chin where Astarion had pressed his thumb against her chin a little too hard. “I’d say I failed.” 

“I disagree,” Astarion responded with a frown followed by a pout. “There must not have been enough birds around at the time.” He was pleased when Aiyana smiled in response. It was now her turn to ask a question.

“Did you have any lovers before you became a vampire?” Aiyana asked as she unfolded one of her legs. She was skirting the edge of a particular subject that she felt the need to talk about and perhaps this would ease her way into the subject.

“Before?” Astarion clarified and when Aiyana nodded he shook his head. “I hardly remember my life before being a vampire,” he went on with a grimace. “Anyone after being a vampire wouldn’t exactly count as lovers.” He avoided looking into Aiyana’s eyes. 

As silence passed between them Aiyana realized that maybe she had struck a nerve and past lovers wasn’t the best subject. She decided then that her secret would be kept if he would continue to keep his. It was still early in the relationship after all. Astarion looked at her from the corner of his eye with what seemed to be suspicion. After a moment of unease he turned his face back towards her and was ready for his next question.

He asked how old she was and found out that she was about the same age he was when Cazador turned him into a vampire. Somewhere in their mid thirties. They went back and forth learning more about each other as the others in camp rested. Their bond deepened and they shared a few intimate kisses before resting together in each other's arms.

~*~

A splash of water on the campfire roused the couple from their rest. “It’s about time,” Karlach said as she held a bucket in her arm. Aiyana sat up and realised that the others were awake. Astarion playfully tried to pull Aiyana back to his chest. “Love,” Aiyana whispered to him. “Everyone else is awake.”

He groaned and sat up with a glare for Karlach. “You got my feet wet,” he complained as he looked at a few droplets of water on his shoes. “It’s going to take hours to dry out.” As he took his shoes off he heard Aiyana’s stomach growl.

Aiyana seemed surprised at how loud her stomach had rumbled. She hadn’t eaten much the night before. Maybe that’s why she was starving now. Astarion whispered into her ear about having her for breakfast and she blushed. “Only after you’ve eaten of course,” he said loud enough for Karlach to hear.

The tiefling raised an eye at Astarion and guessed what he might have suggested. “There’s some cold sausages from last night in the chest,” Karlach told them with a suggestive expression on her face.

“Honestly, Karlach,” Aiyana retorted as she got to her feet. Astarion leaned back and admired her form unbothered by what was being said. “Go and bother Wyll,” Aiyana suggested and then added with a tut of her teeth, “Maybe you can have some of his sausage.” A grin crossed her face.

“Ooh,” Karlach responded with a mischievous smirk. “She’s got a sharp tongue on her,” she said and looked at Astarion who seemed to be undressing Aiyana with his eyes. “I’ll just leave you two alone then,” she finished and gave Aiyana a wink.

Aiyana turned to see how Astarion was looking at her. He didn’t try to hide it and if Karlach could notice it then the others in camp could too. The thought made Aiyana’s heart race. Her stomach ached again for food and she could feel her body flush with sudden arousal. She cleared her throat and mumbled something about it being too early.

As Aiyana walked away from him Astarion felt a pull to follow her. He had made his desire for her clear but she was being coy this morning. He could deal with that if she still ended up meeting with him later in private. He laid back down and put his hands behind his head.

The pale elf knew exactly what he was doing as he stretched out on the ground. Aiyana kept fumbling with the goods she was searching through to find something quick to eat. She had hoped that sharing feelings would make her desire for him to ebb. Unfortunately it seemed to have made it worse. Perhaps there was a way she could make it bearable.

After collecting enough items to satisfy her hunger Aiyana walked back to Astarion’s side and sat down next to him. Then she used his stomach as a pillow as she put her head back and began eating. It knocked the wind out of him. “Comfortable, are we?” He asked after getting up on his elbows.

Aiyana turned her head to him and smirked. “You looked far too happy,” she said with a grin. He tried to frown but failed.

He feigned defeat and collapsed back against the ground with his arms outstretched. “Fine,” he whined in mockery of her attempts to tease him. “You may find a dark figure approaching you later,” he said. “Waiting to take a bite for his breakfast.”

They discussed how Aiyana would need to heal herself if feeding on her was to become a regular occurrence. There was a spell she could use to reverse the effects of being bloodless but it had its limits. The effects would be gone but it would still take time for her to recover between each “experience,” she called it. It seemed odd to use feeding or drinking at the moment. The idea of her being a source of sustenance for him still took time for her to accept. She knew it heighted the intimacy between them but she didn’t know what to think of being considered as food.

After a while they stole away from camp. The last time Astarion had enjoyed drinking her blood it had been in the middle of a particularly intense moment while they were having sex. It had been the first time sex didn’t seem like a performance for him.  The taste then had been incredible and he wanted to experience that with her again. He just wasn’t sure if he could keep from draining her completely. 

The same experience was on Aiyana’s mind. She reached out with her tadpole to his and he opened his mind to hers. The memory of that night washed through both of their minds. Their favorite parts of their shared memory and how much it meant to both of them collided through their connection. They stood close to each other with their eyes closed. What is it like for you when you drink my blood? She asked through their mental link.

Astarion focused on the memory where she had pressed her fingers in his hair and he was struggling not to bite her. “It’s okay,” she had said and he hesitated. “I trust you.” He had groaned and given up on resisting. Her body had been flushed and he could taste the arousal in her blood. It’s a gift, he replied. You’re giving me life. He made sure to let her know that being with her felt like the way he always thought making love should be.

Their mental connection started to fade as Astarion pressed his lips against hers and pulled her close to him. He pressed his hands against all the places he now knew most excited her. Aiyana now knew how much her voice excited him and she whispered his name in his ear as his lips moved from her lips to her neck. She put her fingers through his hair and put her head back as Astarion pressed his fangs into her neck. She quickly prayed that this exchange of life was within Corellon’s will. 

Astarion grew stronger with each mouthful of her blood and when he was finished he pulled her legs up around his hips. She was considerably lighter now that he had a fraction of her blood in his veins. He could feel her slump slightly in his arms. “If we had all the time in the world there would be a bed I’d carry you to and kiss every last inch of your body,” Astarion said as he looked deep into her eyes. “You are irresistible,” he added and hugged her tightly against his frame.

She enjoyed the feeling of her body against his. “Maybe one day there will be time and a bed,” she said with a sigh. She felt a chill run down her spine as the lack of blood started to affect her. Aiyana focused on the spell she needed to use to restore herself from the bloodless effect. Her power flowed through her and she felt strength come back to her limbs.

Then Astarion spun around causing Aiyana to let out a laugh of surprise. He put her back on her feet and kissed her over and over until she started to giggle. “Just because there’s no bed,” he said between kisses, “doesn’t mean I can’t try.” Her laughs only encouraged him until she managed to pull on his ear and catch his lips in her. Aiyana deepened the kiss and the moment passed.

Chapter Text

Despite the serious nature of the coming course of events Aiyana felt like she was walking on air. Her prim and proper demeanor started to shift to one of joy. She started to wear her hair up in a high ponytail. The change suited her rather long face with angular features. Astarion was pleased with the change as well. He wouldn’t have to move her hair out of the way if she consented to letting him drink her blood.

There was a moment before they went back to Moonrise Towers that the two stole away from the others. They shared several intimate kisses and caresses. It was clear that whatever happened now that they may not have a moment like this again. Astarion decided not to drink from her. There would be plenty of enemies to keep his hunger sated.

They had just defeated Balthazar the day before and befriended a few Gnolls who had been abused under the control of the Absolute. Next it was time to finish what they set out from Last Light Inn to do. Now they just wanted to be with each other. Astarion pressed his lips against Aiyana’s wrist as she kissed his neck and cuddled close to him.

He had noticed a change in the way she carried herself once he had confessed his feelings to her. He wasn’t surprised. Most of his marks had been delighted when he said things like what he had told her. Those words had been candied words and lies though. He wasn’t going to lie anymore if he didn’t have to. “Do you think we’ll make it through the next few days?” Astarion asked her as he examined her hand in his and brushed his cool fingers against her warm palm.

“Yes,” she replied and rested her head on his shoulder. “How and what happens I don’t know. I just know I want you to be with me every step of the way.” Aiyana could feel him hum his approval as he tucked her head against his neck again. She laughed softly at the gesture and pressed her lips against his neck again. His skin was soft and cool under her lips and Aiyana was convinced he liked how warm she was against his skin.

Astarion pressed his lips against her neck and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.” For a few more moments they stayed close to each other and then pulled away. Aiyana straightened up and took a deep breath. Astarion watched as her expression changed from happiness to one of determination. Then they left camp to face Disciple Z’rell.

The orc captain, Z’rell, was a particularly nasty character. At their first meeting there had been a dispute with a few goblins. Aiyana was no friend to goblins but the way Ketheric and Z’rell treated them like fodder left a bad taste in Aiyana’s mouth. They had no choice but to end their lives. Better to kill them quickly than let someone like Z’rell who would make them suffer before they died.

As they walked through the main hall the two goblins were still laying lifeless on the stone floor. Aiyana couldn’t help but feel sorry for her hand in their fate. However, there were greater things at stake. Aiyana led Astarion, Gale and Karlach up to where Disciple Z’rell was waiting for them.

It was easy for Aiyana to speak to Z’rell with enough disdain to sound like a puppet of the Absolute. However, when Z’rell forced her way into Aiyana’s mind through the tadpole, she struggled to keep from grabbing her weapon and fighting right there. First Z’rell relished in how the Goblins died at her hands and then again when she searched for Aiyana’s purpose in following the Absolute. She had only felt this violated once before in her life.

Astarion could barely hide a look of concern on his face as he watched Z’rell force her way into Aiyana's mind. Her face winced from the assault. All he could do was watch. “My, my, your lust for the neck-pricker is succulent,” Z’rell said suddenly. “I'd like to take a bite out of him myself." Astarion stood up a bit straighter realizing that everyone now knew that Aiyana lusted after him. Though the thought of Z’rell taking a bite out of him was revolting, he wondered what exactly it was that the orc had seen in Aiyana’s mind. Did Aiyana have thoughts about biting him or was that something Z’rell simply wanted for herself.

The mental link was finally severed and Aiyana glared at the Z’rell with a renewed sense of loathing. She tried to keep her personal opinions quiet in her mind in case Z’rell decided to psychically assault her again. Aiyana adopted an arrogant expression as the orc fawned over the “Her” that had been mentioned by a few other followers of the Absolute. Then finally they were given a mission to test their resolve.

The test was to contact Balthazar. They had lost contact with the necrotic maniac because he was dead in his lair in Shar’s Gauntlet. Aiyana accepted the mission without question and once again there was a change in plans. It was second nature by now. The four companions lingered after Z’rell went to her office and then they spoke softly to each other as if making plans.

“They don’t know about Balthazar then,” Karlach pointed out as she looked around before following Aiyana. “What should we do?” she asked. The cleric was examining an ornate door next to where they had been standing and then crossed the hallway and opened the door to Z’rell’s office.

Gale stayed by Karlach for a moment while Astarion followed Aiyana. “We’ll have to get that artifact,” he answered. “If we have it then we should be able to use it somehow.” Karlach frowned as she thought and then Gale followed once he saw that the office Aiyana and Astarion went into had books. “Maybe there’s some clues as to what this artifact actually is.”

Aiyana quickly looked through a couple of desks and shelves looking for any information with a plan to use research as an excuse to persuade anyone who thought she was snooping. Astarion kept an eye out. This was regular procedure for the group at this point. If she found anything that needed stealing or unlocked all she needed to do was gesture to him. There were a couple things that she slipped into her pack but then she turned and found a large map on the wall. It was a plan for invading Baldur’s Gate and fear shot through her.

It took a moment for Astarion to realize what she was looking at. He saw the fear in her eyes for a moment before she started examining the rest of the room. The map meant very little to him. The streets of Baldur’s Gate were full of people he could care less about. They had run into a great deal of maps with invasion plans. It didn’t mean they were going to happen. No sooner had those thoughts entered his mind than Aiyana turned towards the exit. Astarion made awkward eye contact with Z’rell who seemed to smirk at him. It was hard to tell with the underbite. It may have been a grimace.

Once they left Moonrise Towers for the second time Aiyana was free to talk. “The artifact is clearly the Nightsong, Shadowheart mentioned,” she said as she walked with purpose back to camp.

“What makes you so certain,” Gale asked her. He had the same suspicion but he wanted to know how she came to the conclusion.

“Why else would Balthazar want us to collect the umbral gems and face the trials,” Aiyana replied. “The lazy pile of bones would never stoop to going through the trials himself. We need to take Shadowheart back to the Gauntlet. Whatever this Nightsong is, she'll have the mettle to deal with whatever guards it.”

Karlach had no interest in going back to the Gauntlet. “Come get me when we’re ready for a real fight and not some treasure hunt,” she said as she settled down in camp. Shadowheart was eager to finally see her dreams of being a Dark Justiciar realized.

One by one the group followed Shadowheart into Shar’s domain. The domain was like the astral plane. They were able to jump long distances without being harmed. The air was lighter there. Still the path leading to an illuminated circle of a huge mass of suspended rock was littered with the dead. Whether they were Selunite or Sharran it was hard to tell and they didn’t stop to look.

In the circle was a person and it was clear that this was a Selunite that Sharrans had spilled blood from. There were lines of scars all over the person’s face. Shadowheart was determined to kill the person but hesitated. Nightsong spoke about Shadowheart as if she knew something about her past. Aiyana refused to comment on the matter. She had told Shadowheart early on that her life as a cleric should be made up of her own choices and not the ones others made for her. Hopefully that sentiment was enough. That and if Shadowheart did kill the Nightsong there was no way of knowing what Ketheric might be capable of as a result. That was something Aiyana would let Shadowheart choose for herself.

Shadowheart threw her Spear of Night into the darkness and rejected Shar. This Nightsong clearly knew something about her that almost no one except Aiyana knew. Her fear of wolves. The half elf wanted answers but there wasn’t time. She reached out in friendship and freed the Nightsong. Wings sprouted from their shoulders revealing the divine presence of an aasimar. They summoned an entire suit of armor from a shining moonbeam. Then after a cry of, “I am resplendent!” Nightsong took flight and left behind a portal back to their dimension of origin.

Apparently Ketheric imprisoned them for one hundred years. It was still unclear as to why. Perhaps it was part of the plan to cause the shadowcurse to fall on the land. There had to be some reason why Moonrise Towers earned its name. Still, with more questions than answers they had to keep going. Aiyana convinced herself they had to keep going.

Back again at camp Karlach had seen the aasimar take off for the towers. She was ready for a fight but Aiyana needed to convince her to stay behind. “If anything happens to us Karlach,” she said, “I need you to be here for Shadowheart, Wyll and Halsin. Help them if we happen to fail. I trust you to finish what we started.”

The tiefling wanted to argue but instead pulled Aiyana into a tight hug. Karlach’s infernal engine started to make her sweat a bit before she let go. “Go,” Karlach said. “I’ll hold down the fort here. Just make sure you give Z’rell all the fucking hell she deserves.”

Aiyana grinned in response and motioned for Lae’zel to join them instead. Apparently this annoyed Wyll. “What about my father and Zariel’s prisoner?” He asked. “I have a right to be there with you!”

“Then who will protect the Sword Coast if we fail?” Aiyana shot back at him. “I do not make my decisions lightly,” she went on. There was no way she was going to stick around and convince Wyll to stay behind too. “You either trust me, Wyll, or you don’t. Some people need to survive in war,” she said and looked at the others. “I’ve prayed to Corellon for guidance and I’m confident that the four of you are the best chance we have if things go south. I trust you to follow through. This is not abandonment. I wouldn’t be here without each of you.”

Her words seemed to strengthen their resolve. Each person in the camp seemed inspired. They were ready. After a few solemn farewell nods Aiyana, Astarion, Gale and Lae’zel left camp and took off to Moonrise Tower to face Ketheric Thorm.

~*~

The Harpers and several of the Flaming Fist had made quick work of the first wave of enemies by the time Aiyana and her friends arrived. The bridge over to the Tower was littered with bodies. Jaheira was standing at the foot of the stairs waiting for them. As the Nightsong soared overhead Jaheira said something about a prophecy.

Then the famed druid addressed Aiyana and admitted that she would follow her lead. Aiyana gracefully deferred the opportunity to have Jaheira join her group to go after Ketheric. Coordinating with her three companions was plenty. Jaheira on the other hand was a practiced leader of many. She should be the one who decides the next course of action. Her team could handle Ketheric once Z’rell and the other followers of the Absolute were taken care of. Jaheira rallied the Harpers and Fists with a short debrief of the situation before everyone took their positions.

Disciple Z’rell was waiting for them on the main floor of the Tower and had enough gall to jeer at them. Aiyana stood by Jaheira as archers formed a line in front of them and a secondary line behind them. Once Z’rell recognized that it was Aiyana she became petulant. Apparently she had convinced Z’rell a little too well that she was a member of the absolute.

“I’ve looked forward to killing you since the moment we met,” Aiyana responded after Z’rell expressed her disgust at the betrayal and how their deaths would serve the Absolute. “The Absolute was never my God,” she added as her eyes burned with zeal. “I serve Corellon.”

“You hid it well,” Z’rell responded with what Aiyana could only assume was a smirk between her overly large jutting lower canines. “I thought you’d be another notch on my bedpost but instead I’ll make a trophy of your bones.”

“Guess the Absolute doesn’t answer prayers then,” Aiyana sneered. “Or maybe you didn’t pray hard enough.”

Z’rell growled as Aiyanna hit a nerve about her loyalty to her God. “Boys! – Make the traitor bleed!”

Aiyana cast the Beacon of Hope over everyone on the stairs around her. The light filled the entryway and the battle began. A volley of arrows were exchanged from the Harpers and from a few archers in the rafters. Astarion used a ring that made him invisible and headed towards the rafters to take out the archers. Jaheira wild shaped into a panther and pounced forward after Z’rell. Lae’zel followed and cut down one of the guards. Aiyana cast a spell to hold Z’rell, two Adept followers who had a blessing aura around them and one guard in place.

It was then that she noticed the 3 gnolls from the kitchen had started firing at the ogre. Aiyana had never been so happy to see gnolls in a fight. The ogre in a fit of rage walked away from the main battle. Z’rell broke free from Aiyana’s spell in time to notice the Ogre leaving. The orc shouted after the creature but it was no use. The ogre died at the hands of the Gnolls.

Gale had summoned an earth elemental that was wreaking havoc on a particularly powerful paladin. Followers of the Absolute were falling left and right. Aiyana caught a look of fear in Z’rell’s eyes as she fought for her life. For some reason this excited her. She wanted Z’rell to suffer for how she had forced her way into her mind.

Aiyana summoned the Radiance of the Dawn and several of their enemies screamed as radiant light tore through them like fire until they met their end. Z’rell cried out as the same power seared through her body. It wasn’t enough to kill her but Aiyana was pleased to see the orc was near her end. “Looks like Moonlight will be your tomb,” Aiyana said right before Jaheira who had changed back from her wild shape surged forward and buried one of her dual scimitars in Z’rell’s gut. The life faded from her eyes and Aiyana felt pleasure in response to her death.

There were still a few more enemies to take care of and the cleric sent out a mass heal to let those around her and herself achieve a second wind. Astarion, the 3 gnolls, and Gale started to pick off the last few enemies from a distance. The earth elemental took care of some melee damage before Lae’zel joined them. Then Aiyana positioned herself to cast a wall of fire that burned through the rest of their enemies. Moments later the battle was over.

For some reason this battle seemed personal to Aiyana. Before death had seemed like a necessary evil. It fueled her sense of justice. How she felt right now was different. She felt glorious. Watching the life fade from Z’rell’s eyes filled her with a desire to see that happen again. “We’ll need to take a short rest before pressing onward,” she said loud enough for Gale, Lae’zel and Astarion to hear. There was a darkness she had in the pit of her stomach as she looked down at Z’rell’s dead body. Aiyana wanted to give the orc a swift kick to the face. Maybe one of the gnolls would lick the body clean. She looted the body and moved on.

There was little time to waste. Ketheric was the target. Z’rell had just been in the way. Aiyana and her companions took a few minutes to recover and looted their enemies and collected the belongings of their allies who had fallen. Quartermaster Talli was happy to exchange armor and weapons for them even when she ran out of gold.

Jaheira was waiting in the main hall and gave them a few words of wisdom before they went after Ketheric. Aiyana pulled out the keys she had collected from fallen guards. There were several and she wasn’t sure which key went with what doors. She stepped up to the door at the end of the hall and managed to unlock it with the right key.

Through that door was a landing with more doors to go through. Maybe this wasn’t the right door. Aiyana stuck her head through the doorway. There seemed to be nothing special about any of the doors to indicate where Ketheric was.

Astarion tapped her shoulder and then grabbed her hand. There were necromites and the woman who had been guarding the right door was off to their left. Aiyana looked surprised and then embarrassed that she walked right past where they were supposed to be going. Gale took out the necromites with magic missiles and Lae’zel attacked the woman who let out a cry of devotion to the Absolute before Aiyana ended her life with a guiding bolt of radiant damage.

While Lae’zel’s defiance of Vlaakith had once caused stirrings within Astarion, the power that Aiyana wielded as a Cleric was enticing. He wondered as he held her hand what kind of power she could wield if he ascended in the ritual instead of Cazador. Together they could be unstoppable.

“Let’s show Ketheric the true power of prayer,” Aiyana said as she looked through the keys to unlock the ornate door. Astarion has no confidence in prayer but power he believed in. A moment later the door’s lock opened with a click and a single push made the doors swing wide.

Chapter Text

Ketheric Thorm was a piece of work. After a short fight a large tentacle burst from the bowels of the Tower and Nightsong and Thorm disappeared. The tentacle had to be illithid. How on earth were the Absolute and illithids involved? Pushing more questions aside, Aiyana rushed to the opening where the tentacle emerged. Jaheira had followed them up after the fight to see what had happened.

Her companions expressed their frustrations. It was clear that they would have to follow after them. The chasm was full of wet mucus like they had seen bits of earlier seeping out of what may have been a fireplace. There was no time to talk. The way forward was clear. Aiyana took a deep breath. “May Corellon guide me,” she murmured and jumped into the pit.

At the end of what had to be one of the most disgusting experiences of her life Aiyan found herself drenched in mucus all over her armor. The walls around her were red and fleshy. This had to be an illithid colony. She shuddered in disgust and was glad to find that she was cleaner than she felt. Gale, Lae’zel and Astarion stood up next to her as she considered which way to go.

As they explored the colony Aiyana recalled how she had been captured by the mind flayers to begin with. The memory distracted her for a while as they found Us, an intellect devourer that helped them on the nautiloid. Us was in a cage and Aiyana managed to set the creature free by persuading it’s captor that she would take care of it.

Then they ran into Mizora. Aiyana couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course it was you,” she said as they stood in front if her pod. “Zariel’s agent indeed!” Mizora scoffed at her and demanded they release her. Aiyana examined the pod and saw two different options. One to open and one to disintegrate.

“What’s to keep me from just leaving you here?” Aiyana asked. She was rather enjoying the spider who had wrapped Wyll in a web being caught in a bigger spider’s web. “He’s not here to release you and if I leave you here there’s no breach of your contract. You can’t prove that he intended to refuse. We just happened upon you. He doesn’t even know you’re here.”

Mizora gritted her teeth at the situation before her. “If I die, Wyll dies, Cleric!” She said nearly foaming at the mouth with rage. Aiyana shrugged as if Wyll dying wasn’t that big of a deal to her.

Gale gave Aiyana a disapproving look while both Lae’zel and Astarion seemed impressed. “Maybe we shouldn’t be bargaining over Wyll’s life while he isn’t here to speak up,” Gale said. Aiyana shot a glare at him. This was a part of her plan and he’d stepped into it.

“If you want out then end your pact with Wyll,” Aiyana said firmly as she crossed her arms. “Now!”

“Not until you actually let me out,” Mizora replied sternly. Aiyana’s eyes narrowed. This Cleric was clever. Mizora recognized that she was garnering for an instant release so that Wyll would survive if she decided to kill her while she was trapped.

Aiyana paused to test the resolve of Mizora’s move. She had hoped to trip Mizora up with her demands but realized that her bluff was not something that anyone really wanted to see through. “State the amendment to the pact and I will,” Aiyana promised.

Mizora sighed and gave a generic statement of Wyll’s release. Aiyana opened the pod and Mizora snuck in a last addition to the pact that his release from the pact would end in six months. Then she disappeared. That was enough for Aiyana to live with.

The group moved on from there and fought a few creatures before finally discovering what had to be Wyll’s father. Unfortunately he wasn’t alone. Aiyana frowned. If only Mizora hadn’t been caught they may have been able to save Ulder Ravengard. There was Gortash and Ketheric. Gortash, she knew from Baldur’s Gate. The woman however was a mystery. She seemed particularly obsessed with murder. She had a wild grin on her face as she put a tadpole in Ulder’s eye.

Aiyana’s despair caused her face to fall. Wyll was going to kill her for convincing him to stay behind. There wasn’t time to let her linger on that. This was clearly the heart of the Absolute and any second she knew Gale would be considering setting off the orb in his chest. Ravengard was taken away and squabbling rose up between the three leaders.

“This is what Mystra tasked me to do,” Gale murmured and Aiyana shot him a look. “We could end it all here right now.” He looked at Aiyana as if asking her permission.

Her eyes immediately darted towards Astarion. She didn’t want to die now. They wouldn’t be able to defeat Cazador if they sacrificed their lives now. “Some of us actually want to live,” Aiyana hissed at him. “There will be other opportunities to blow yourself up than right now.” She grimaced and turned back to what was going on. It wasn’t a time to be polite.

The dream guardian whispered in Aiyana’s head at some point about something she already realized. Her own thoughts were enough to deal with at the moment. Then the mysterious woman raised a blade and named herself Orin the Red, chosen of Baal. Gortash did the same and claimed himself to be the chosen of Bane. Stones in the blade and on a gauntlet glowed. Ketheric hesitated for a moment and then claimed himself as the chosen of Myrkul. A stone in his armor glowed and from the depths of the illithid colony an Elder Brain with a crown on its head rose up.

Horror fell on the faces of Aiyana, Lae’zel and Astarion. Gale however was focused on the crown. The dream guardian explained that the Absolute had netherstones and the crown was Netherese. This meant that there was another way to stop the Absolute besides blowing them all up. He looked relieved. Even though the army of the Absolute was about to head to Baldur’s Gate there was a chance.

That hope wavered as Ketheric revealed that this had all been a trap. That was fine by the group as they didn’t even hesitate to free Nightsong and defeat Ketheric. The battle was hard but the group was a lot stronger than they had been in the past. Unfortunately defeating Ketheric ultimately summoned a visage of Myrkul. That fight was 10 times harder. The powerful swipe of the monstrous form knocked them off the platform until they moved together in a rhythm to dodge the swipe and come back up on the platform to attack. As an Aasimar, Nightsong was able to fly out of range.

Once the visage of Myrkul was defeated Ketheric no longer held the necrotic power that kept him alive. His last pitiful thoughts were of Isobel. For some reason it reminded Aiyana of her own father and how he had often been blinded by his own pride. Dead as he was, the Nightsong swooped in and smashed the shell of a body underneath her feet repeatedly. Aiyana was disgusted by the display even though later she would grow to understand why.

The Nightsong’s actual name was Dame Aylin and a lover of Isobel’s. Aiyana allowed herself to feel some joy at their reunion but the change of events weighed heavily on her mind. Defeating Ketheric hardly seemed like a victory. It was more of a prelude of even harder battles to come. Ketheric kept Aylin locked away to be killed over and over again by Shar’s followers. It was probably what started the shadow lands to begin with.

It seemed like days had gone by instead of hours after they returned to the surface. There were talks and secrets revealed and plans shared. Aiyana managed to stay focused for as long as she could until she finally had a moment to sneak away and pray to Corellon.

~*~

The camp that had been set up in Moonrise Towers was cramped. So, Aiyana kelt down outside looking over the darkened lake that would soon be filled with sunlight again. She prayed to Corellon in Elvish. The tone and pace of her words were like a song. It was the way the words of the elves were formed.

Astarion was looking for Aiyana and found her in the middle of praying. Sometimes he forgot how much her power required her to commune with a higher power. He frowned, jealous that her devotion was divided between Corellon and him. Out of spite he considered interrupting her prayer and then realized that she was mentioning his name in her prayers. He didn’t use Elvish often so he missed what she was saying in her prayers.

The knowledge that he meant that much for her to mention him in her prayers was a strange feeling. He was grateful but still bitter. Then Aiyana stood up and looked at him with a small smile. “Am I interrupting?” He asked her.

“No,” Aiyana responded as she shook her head. “Did you need something?” She asked him. There was no need for her to hide her exhaustion from him. Her shoulders sagged a bit as she walked over to him.

“I could ask you the same question,” Astarion responded and put his head to the side as he looked at her. “You’re clearly exhausted. What do you need?” He asked with a smirk, hoping she would say something along the lines of his idea of fun.

“I wouldn’t say no to a nice hot bath,” Aiyana replied with a sigh. “A comfortable bed to sleep in and no enslaved Elder Brain trying to take over the world,” she added sarcastically and then couldn’t resist a sudden urge to stretch. Astarion put an arm around her waist as she stretched and pulled her in for a kiss. She smiled against his lips and kissed him back.

Astarion pulled back from the kiss as her arms settled around his neck. “Did that help any?” He asked, still a breath away from her face. His hand was pressed against the small of her back.

“A little,” Aiyana teased as she tilted her chin up in defiance and a mischievous smile played on her lips. Astarion chuckled at her and kissed her deeper and longer this time. For a moment they got lost in kissing. Their hands started to wander a little before parting again. “That’s better,” she said with a sigh.

He was pleased that his kisses could make her feel better but Astarion couldn’t deny that doing so felt like a performance. His brow knitted together for a split second. All of the things that he normally would say seemed hollow. He tried to smile but he could tell that Aiyana was picking up on what he wasn’t telling her.

“What would you like to do this evening for fun?” Aiyana asked him to break the silence. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to make a donation,” she admitted with an apologetic smile.

Astarion brushed his thumb across her lips as if to wipe away the apology. “Don’t apologize for that,” he said firmly. “There will be plenty of options for me to eat when we get to Rivington.” He noticed a small look of disappointment on her face. A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. Perhaps the look on her face has been because she wanted to be bitten by him.

“The only other thing that I know you consider fun is sex,” Aiyana said as she pressed herself closer to him in an indication that she wouldn’t say no. While her love and affection for Astarion wasn’t anchored in physical attraction she did enjoy the pleasures he offered her.

However, Astarion hesitated. He saw the confusion on Aiyana’s face. “Darling,” he started. “I’d like nothing more than to spend an entire evening staring at your naked body,” he said and felt Aiyana blush against his skin. “It’s just,” he paused again, not sure what she would say if he was honest. “The last time we were together was the first time it didn’t feel like a performance.” Her expression didn’t change and with a sense of relief he went on. “I’m not sure if I know how to be like that with you again. You deserve the kind of connection we had then. That was more than just fun. I only want to have sex with you if it can be like that.”

Aiyana smiled and moved her hands to both sides of his face and pulled his forehead to her lips. “Astarion,” she breathed as she let go of his face. “You always manage to surprise me.” She shook her head and took a step back from him. “No manipulating me into giving you a snack and now sex means something different to you too,” she put her head to one side. “You seem to be changing. How does it feel?” She asked with a mischievous smile on her face.

At first Astarion frowned as she pulled away and then realised she was teasing him. He let out a snicker and then spun around so she could see him from all angles. “I feel glorious,” he said, playing into the bit. Aiyana grinned and resumed her former position against him. He leaned forward and kissed her passionately and she kissed him back.

Astarion remembered what he had said the day before about taking her to bed and kissing every inch of her body. That seemed like fun. No expectations or performance just memorizing every curve of her body with his mouth. They stole back into camp and slipped inside Astarion’s tent. There they rested naked in each other’s arms. Bare skin was open to kisses, caresses and any other form of pleasure that might occur to them as the night went on.

The next morning Aiyana, Astarion and the others headed out towards the road that had previously been blocked by the army of The Absolute. Suddenly the Shadowcurse began to fade and light broke through the shadows. Aiyana turned to see a large tree begin to glow along its branches. The sight was a wonder to behold and it filled her with hope that all this toil and work was worth it.

Astarion watched as Aiyana soaked the moment in. She’d never looked more serene and at peace before. There were moments she had looked like that when she was with him but nothing on this scale. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Halsin looking at Aiyana with what could only be a burning desire for her. He wondered how long the druid could wait before approaching Aiyana.

Sleeping naked in his tent had been nice but the line between having sex and wanting to drain her dry of blood was difficult for them and he knew it. Halsin wouldn’t have to hold back like he often did. It was a problem he wished he didn’t have to consider and he wondered if Ascending would solve that problem for them. If Aiyana was a spawn, his spawn, then there would be nothing for him to hold back from when being with her.

Aiyana only noticed Halsin looking at her a moment before turning to leave. Their eyes met and she moved closer to Astarion. She wasn’t sure what to make of the Druid’s sudden attraction to her. Keeping her distance seemed like the best thing to do. The last thing she wanted was for things to get worse between her and Astarion.

However simply being naked next to Astarion didn’t seem to be enough. She wouldn’t do anything without asking first but being with someone who she didn’t have to worry about killing her was something she couldn’t deny that she wanted for herself. She was still young and the thought of being with someone simply for her own sexual desires was new and intimidating. Instead she kept as close to Astarion as possible as they moved on.

The next few nights didn’t allow them to spend much time together. Githyanki attacked them in the middle of the night. A portal to the Astral plane opened up and their dream guardian ended up being an illithid who called himself the Emperor. Not only had Aiyana been lied to but all this time the power protecting them from the absolute came from Prince Orpheus.

Her hands were tied. The Emperor was the only one who could keep them from being consumed by their parasites. Aiyana hated that it came at the cost of keeping anyone, let alone a Githyanki Prince, prisoner. They took out the guards and ensured that they would continue to survive. Survival was beginning to come at a cost that she wasn’t sure how long she could afford to keep paying.

Chapter Text

The Dream Guardian, now known as The Emperor, visited Aiyana in her dreams that night. After entering the Astral Prism at the Githyanki Creché the Guardian had convinced her to trust them over Vlaakith. Now, Aiyana didn’t know who to believe. The Emperor certainly seemed to be telling the truth about his past. His insistence that he was able to break away from the Elder Brain and make a name for himself seemed possible but unlikely. However, the consistent suggestion of using any of the tadpoles powers didn’t sit well with her. One was more than enough.

The next day she talked to others around camp and they didn’t have anything to say about another visit in their dreams. At the beginning of their journey they were all visited by the Dream Guardian at the same time. Apparently the Emperor only wanted to speak to her. This special interest disgusted her. Aiyana had been as diplomatic as she could be with the Emperor but made it clear she did not trust him.

Aiyana brought Astarion, Wyll, and Shadowheart with her to explore Rivington. The city seemed packed with refugees. A young girl with red hair and a ginger cat asked if they could help her find her mother. Knowing it was likely that her mother was not coming back, Aiyana got down to her level and asked her name.

Wyll smiled as he watched Aiyana talk to the child. For some reason this bothered Astarion. Whether it was the way Wyll was smiling at Aiyana or that there would be yet another person in an already crowded camp it wasn’t clear. Not to mention there were likely to be dozens of children just like this one. “We can’t pick up every stray we run into,” Astarion scolded Aiyana.

Aiyana frowned in Astarion’s direction and turned back to the girl. “You can stay at our camp until we find out what happened to your mom,” she told the girl whose name was Yenna. “You’ll have to pull your weight though and make yourself useful rather than a burden. Can you do that?” The girl nodded and Aiyana told Yenna where to go.

Once she was out of earshot Aiyana frowned at Astarion. “I’m a Cleric, Astarion,” she said. “Picking up strays is kind of my thing.” She turned to walk down the path. “Besides Scratch we don’t really have any other strays,” she pointed out.

“Scratch is not a stray,” Shadowheart said with fervor. “He’s a loyal friend who stayed by my side after I defied Shar.” She put her nose in the air as they walked deeper into town.

“I agree,” Aiyana said as she looked over her shoulder and watched as Astarion followed with a frown still on his face. Her face furrowed as she considered but ignored the standing link in her mind with the parasite. If he had anything important to say he could just say it. “Scratch is hardly a stray anymore,” she went on in her conversation with Shadowheart.

The farther they walked into Rivington the more divisive and angry the people seemed to be. One of Shadowheart’s former contacts called out to them and a discussion was made over the din of noise. Aiyana could barely make out what was being said. After the silence of the Shadowlands the city seemed to grate on her ears. Every voice was like an assault on her ears. She tried to focus and failed. Her eyes met Wyll’s.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Astarion and Shadowheart were finishing up with the conversation. Aiyana put her hands up to her ears and shook her head. There was something about these voices. It wasn’t normal. People had their options and disagreements but there was something else going on.

“Can you feel it?” Aiyana asked Wyll. “The voices are sharper,” she went on. “Irrational.” They paused as he listened. “If The Absolute were on their way their voices would be frightened. Refugees or not, they'd want to leave.” Her eyes darted around as she thought. “But they’re angry.”

Shadowheart and Astarion finished the conversation and walked over towards them when there was a sudden quake beneath their feet. A few people made remarks but overall no one seemed to be bothered. It’s the Elder Brain, The Emperor said into their collective minds. It’s trying to break free.

Aiyana gritted her teeth and growled at the intrusion. She’d had enough of The Emperor lately and she stalked off to a quieter place down the path. Even then that reprieve didn’t last long. Someone was yelling at a family in a house down the path. A rather rich man with hired mercenaries had just threatened to drag them out before they walked up.

Ever the voice of reason, Aiyana convinced the man to let them stay. His house was large enough to accommodate them with an army approaching. A suggestion on going to the local temple to find them different housing seemed to scare him into cooperation. The mercenaries she persuaded by telling him how she just lifted the Shadowcurse and was hardly anyone to mess with.

They searched the house and found out why the owner didn’t want any authorities involved. The man clearly had a smuggling operation going on in the basement below his house. Astarion disarmed so many traps in the basement that Aiyana lost count. Each trap would set off a firework that would likely bring the whole house down on top of them. When they came back up Aiyana made sure that the parents knew going down there would be dangerous and to stay away.

The parents thanked them and Aiyana and her companions moved on. The division between refugees and citizens was getting worse the closer they got to Wrym’s Crossing. So, Aiyana decided to head to where most of the refugees were camped and found a few of the Tieflings from the Grove who had made it that far. It was only Cerys and two others. It was concerning that Alfira wasn’t with them but perhaps she had stayed behind for now.

Outside a barn was a solitary Fist guarding a door. Aiyana found that strange. Then once she started a conversation with the man things got even more strange. He started talking about spilling the blood of all the refugees. Then his joints snapped with a chorus of unnaturally loud sounds and Orin appeared before them. She gave them a warning about how Gortash was wasting his time and that they should give the lordling a message from her that she was watching him. Before Aiyana could think of landing a hit she disappeared.

“Oh great!” Astarion exclaimed in exasperation. “It’s not enough that we have a gallery of villains to look out for,” he said as he tossed his hand to the side to demonstrate, “But now we could be infiltrated by a shapechanger!” He tossed his hands up. “I can’t even tell if any of you are acting strange because you’ve been replaced,” he whipped his head to the side as he gestured again with his hands, “Or because this group is full of weirdos!”

Aiyana, Wyll and Shadowheart gave Astarion a blank stare for a moment. Aiyana was amused by his performace. Wyll rolled his one eye. Then Shadowheart grinned and joked, “I’d tell you to look in the mirror but you can’t.” She brought her hands up and pointed at Astarion. “Just kidding.”

Astarion expressed a wry smile but not being able to see himself was a rather sensitive subject for him. He didn’t want Shadowheart or Wyll to know that though. “Ha! Ha! Very funny,” he responded as Aiyana stepped closer to him as a show of support.

“Well you did just call us weirdos,” Aiyana pointed out. “You could hardly blame anyone for teasing you back just a little.” She wrinkled her nose before realizing that the subject had hit a little too close to home. She frowned as she considered how frustrating it would be if she were in his shoes.

“I guess it’s different when you’re my weirdo,” Astarion replied in a low voice as he noticed her frown. Aiyana grinned and he pulled her close and they kissed for a long moment. Wyll cleared his throat and Shadowheart heaved a fake sigh before they pulled apart. Aiyana bit at her lip a little before Astarion grabbed her hand and they turned back towards the others.

“Let’s see what other problems there are around here,” Aiyana said to change the subject. The kiss had sparked a particularly hot fire within her and she needed a moment to recover. Wyll and Shadowheart were more than happy to lead the way for a while. They cut through an alleyway and Astarion moved Aiyana out of the way as a few ignorant citizens took up the path. His arm wrapped around her waist and he positioned himself between her and the person walking towards them.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there,” the man muttered after brushing past Astarion. He was used to people not noticing him but for some reason for one person to completely ignore two people angered him. Aiyana looked up at him and put her hand where his was placed on her waist. He looked at her and realized how flushed she was at the moment. It distracted him from his anger. A sudden desire to push Aiyana against a nearby wall and steal a few intimate moments for themselves crossed his mind. With Orin as a shapechanger that was too risky.

The moment passed and they continued down the path. To their right there was an area with high fences and a large door. Aiyana picked up on the unmistakable scent of dogs within the gates. There was a human woman speaking harshly to a male gnome within the enclosure. Shadowheart and Wyll had just stepped up to the gate which was open as Aiyana slipped out of Astarion’s reach.

“This must be where Scratch came from,” Wyll told Aiyana. “This is right next to the Sword Coast Couriers,” he added as he pointed to the building. The yard was full of cages and chains. Two dogs were locked away. Aiyana could tell by the way the dogs seemed to be on high alert that they were being mistreated.

Aiyana made sure to look at Shadowheart before moving forward. A look of anger and disgust confirmed that despite a fear of wolves the Cleric loved dogs or at least Scratch enough to see this through. Without another word Aiyana entered the yard.

“This is a private yard,” said the woman. Her voice and the way she held herself were aggressive. The gnome on the other hand looked like he was near tears. “What do you want?”

“I came across a dog that might belong to you,” Aiyana said, hoping that would put the woman at ease. Four strangers walking into a closed off private yard would be intimidating. “Scratch is his name,” she added.

“You mean he’s alive,” the gnome responded with a look of relief on his face. “I’d like to see him again.”

“Shut up, Dringo,” the woman quipped as sharp as a whip. “Bring him here and I’ll check him for worms and such,” she said in a more civil tone. Aiyana didn’t trust her for a second. The woman portrayed all the signs of an animal abuser.

Still, for Dringo’s sake Aiyana whistled for Scratch who happily came to her side before realizing where he was and then deflated as if he wanted to sink into the ground. Aiyana clenched her teeth. There was no way she was going to let Scratch go back under the care of this wicked woman if she struck that much fear into him.

“Scratch!” Dringo exclaimed, nearly bursting at the seams with joy. “It’s so good to see you boy!”

The joy on the gnome's face was short lived as the woman cut in with, “Shut up Dringo! Get back to work!” Then she spoke to Scratch. “Looks like you’ve been slacking off Scratch m’boy,” she said, raising a hand as if to hit him. Aiyana bristled, ready to twist her arm if the hand came down. Perhaps the woman noticed. “This dog is the property of Sword Coast Couriers. I’ll take him off your hands now.”

“You shouldn’t raise a hand to him like that,” Aiyana said sternly. Anyone who knew Aiyana well would have seen that as a warning. However this woman seemed to need more persuading.

“Gomwick was his handler, not his owner,” the woman replied arrogantly.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Aiyana replied with a frown. Her three companions shifted their weight as they subtly readied themselves for a fight.

“He’s my dog,” the woman responded with a frown. “I’ll do whatever I please. Now get out! This is a private yard.”

“I’ll break every bone in your body before I let you lay a hand on him,” Aiyana promised her menacingly. Astarion and Shadowheart both grinned at these words. That was fine with them.

“You,” she hesitated, “You’ll do no such thing,” the woman replied and looked at Aiyana’s companions. She realized she was outnumbered and probably wouldn’t win this fight.

“It’s not just Scratch,” Dringo piped up. “She’s always hurting the dogs.” Aiyana’s eyes darted from the gnome back to the human and she took a step forward.

Astarion, Wyll, and Shadowheart started to close ranks behind Aiyana. “Shut your mouth Dringo,” the woman spat and raised a hand even at him. “Last warning.”

The glare in Aiyana’s gaze began to burn with zeal. “I’ll give you to the count of ten to leave these kennels,” she said through gritted teeth. “One, two…”

“They’re a useless bunch of mongrels,” the woman responded and relented. “You’re welcome to them.” Knowing she couldn’t win a fight against four people she scoffed and left while she could. There were plenty of other ways for her to spend her time.

They all watched as she left. “I can’t believe it,” Dringo said. “She’s actually gone.” His small body seemed to finally relax and Scratch’s ears perked up. The dog still seemed hesitant but slowly he began to relax as Dringo started to sooth him. With the fight avoided they all took a break and waited as Dringo released the two other dogs from their cages.

Astarion seemed disappointed that he didn’t get to fight the woman. “We could have at least punched her,” he said with a frown. “She deserved it.”

“I never took you for a dog lover, Astarion,” Shadowheart said as she knelt down and gave a black dog some well deserved pets. The dog’s demeanor quickly changed from the positive interaction.

“I would have gladly let Astarion free the dogs to attack her if she was going to put up a fight,” Aiyana said and looked at him to see what he thought.

He grinned at the idea. “That sounds delightfully messy,” he responded and put a hand up to his lips as he thought. “It’s too bad we couldn’t drag her back here and get the same result,” he said with a sigh. “Though, if we were dealing with cats, I doubt it would matter. They know how to hold a grudge.”

Aiyana beamed at Astarion. Finding out that he was delighted by her idea and finding out he was a cat person filled her with joy. She looked down and found the second dog sniffing at her shoes. “Dogs are like lovers,” she said. “Love and affection is easily reciprocated. Cats are,” she tried to come up with a way to describe cats that didn’t seem offensive.

Then she looked at Astarion and considered how violently a cat would fight to never go back in a cage once they were freed. Her brow furrowed and she looked ashamed that she even considered teasing him about cats. “Well I’m not surprised you like cats more than dogs,” she said instead.

The sudden shift from joy to shame in Aiyana’s demeanor concerned Astarion. While her openness and warmth was always welcome he couldn’t help but think it was his fault whenever that warmth started to close off.

Scratch walked over and distracted them both from their thoughts for a moment. Aiyana cast the spell to speak to animals. “Dringo said that I should stay with you,” Scratch told them. “I can’t wait to go back to camp. All those smells are going to be my new home!”

A smile returned to Aiyana’s face. She encouraged Scratch to go back to camp and tell the others about what happened. Then she noticed the expression of concern on Astarion’s face. The feeling of shame returned. She often forgot how different they were and how serious their common goal was. The rift between the people in Rivington seemed to be a constant reminder of the rift she had made when she broke things off with him before she knew how he felt. She needed to apologize but there never seemed to be a good time.

“Are you alright?” Astarion asked her as Scratch took off with an extra hop in his step. Wyll and Shadowheart were beginning to draw back from the freed dogs and came their direction.

She nodded quickly and gave him a strained smile. “We’ll talk about it later,” she promised and gave his hand a squeeze. He let go of her hand quickly and put his arm around her waist instead. The movement fanned her inner desire for him again and she fought to hide it in front of their companions. Astarion smirked when he realized how one touch seemed to affect her.

“Well, at least some justice was served today,” Wyll said as the group turned toward the exit. “It’s unlikely we’ll have another breakthrough like that in a while.”

“Cheer up, Wyll,” Shadowheart responded. “We’ll find a way to save your father and set things right.” Wyll seemed unconvinced. He was probably still angry at Aiyana for letting his father get taken by the Absolute.

The reminder disheartened Aiyana. There was more for her to apologize for than she realized. She tried to remember that she was doing her best with what she was given but her shoulders slumped regardless.

Wyll and Shadowheart took the lead again and Astarion took the chance to pull Aiyana close. She sighed and wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her into a hug. “If you need a break we can go back to camp and let Wyll and Shadowheart finish looking around,” he said. “You don’t have to do everything.”

She pulled her head back and sighed in frustration. “I can’t,” she said. “With Orin around we can’t afford to go out in groups of two,” she admitted with a pout on her face. “If it weren’t for the Absolute and these damn worms,” she trailed off and sighed again when she saw that Astarion was smiling at her.

“We’d already be halfway to Cazador’s by now,” he said and finished her thought. “I know,” he responded and kissed her quickly. “Damn the Absolute,” he added. Aiyana laughed and kissed him back deeply and he kissed her back.

There was the sound of footsteps near them. “Are you coming or not?” Wyll asked them. He was trying to sound civil but it wasn’t really working.

Aiyana and Astarion parted. “I think we’ve seen enough for one day,” Aiyana said. “Why don’t we head back to camp and actually relax and maybe celebrate that Scratch is no longer a stray and now one of us,” she suggested. Wyll’s anger seemed to fade at this suggestion. Everyone in camp loved Scratch and celebrating the dog’s freedom would give Aiyana some much needed time to think. Wyll agreed and they all returned to camp.

Chapter Text

By the time Aiyana and her companions returned to camp the day was half over. The sun was warm and the armor they had carried around was no longer necessary. Everyone was wearing the clothes they wore around camp in the evening. It wasn’t a celebration like the tiefling party that seemed to take place ages ago. Yet the overall feeling was lighter than it had been the past few days.

Wyll and Karlach were playing fetch with Scratch who was completely absorbed in chasing his ball around camp. The ball ended up rolling close to Halsin at one point and he picked it up before looking over at Aiyana for a moment while she was eating an apple. “Aiyana!” He called out, “Catch!”  He tossed the ball toward her.

The throw was a little off to one side and forced Aiyana to hold the apple in her mouth like a suckling pig in order to catch it. She rolled the ball on the ground and Scratch picked up the ball and took it back to Wyll. Aiyana sat on a box nearby and took the apple out of her mouth. “I guess it’s been a while since you’ve played catch,” she pointed out.

“The Grove isn’t exactly a place to raise children,” Halsin admitted and stepped closer to her. He’d been drawn to her ever since the Shadowcurse lifted but he hadn’t had time to talk to her until now. “Even if there were plenty of children I hardly had time to play with them as Archdruid.” Aiyana had bitten into her apple at that moment and missed a rather obvious clue of his interest as he looked her up and down. “Now I suppose I could take some time and finally learn.”

Astarion came out of his tent and saw how close Halsin was to Aiyana. She looked up at Halsin as she chewed, then swallowed. The way he was looking at her made her blush. “If that is what you would like to do,” she said and turned to see Astarion walking towards her.  Aiyana felt her heart leap when she saw him. She stood up and realized how close Halsin was to her. The smell of pine seemed to fill her senses. Halsin lingered for a second and then stepped back. Aiyana’s brow furrowed in confusion at how the closeness seemed to have sparked something between her and the wood elf even if she didn’t intend to feel anything towards him.

She turned and looked at Astarion who was watching them. Aiyana felt embarrassed as if there was something to hide even though she knew that nothing would come of it. The feeling in her stomach that had been a small spark of interest in Halsin started to turn sour. Aiyana lost her appetite and tried to figure out what to do with the half eaten apple. Then she remembered she needed to apologize to Wyll and stress seemed to take over.

“It looks like you still haven’t taken the time to relax yet,” Astarion said as Aiyana walked closer to him. Stress was still evident on her face. She eventually chose to wrap the apple in a clean cloth and put it in her pack. He put his hands out to her and she wrapped her arms around him, grateful for the comfort from his embrace. It occurred to him how he didn’t want anyone to touch him but her. Her touch made him feel safe and he wanted her to feel just as safe. His eyes found Halsin looking at them. Astarion put his arms around Aiyana protectively.

The wood elf nodded to Astarion and turned away. “What were you talking about with Halsin,” he asked Aiyana. She shrugged and said nothing. “Come and sit with me,” he said and they lounged on some cushions out in front of his tent. Astarion made himself comfortable and motioned for Aiyana to come and sit on his lap. 

They settled into a position where Aiyana’s back was against his chest and she could put her head back on top of his shoulder. Astarion could easily wrap his arms around her or place his hand anywhere he wanted. It was almost as if they were one person like this. Aiyana put her head back on his shoulder and removed the tie from her hair. She finally seemed ready to relax. Her hair smelled like vanilla and sunkissed apples.

Astarion stroked her hair from her face and watched as she closed her eyes and fell into a trance. Her breathing was even and deep but her face still seemed to twitch from troubled thoughts. “Rest,” he insisted softly as he gently wiped the tension from her face as if they were tears. His eyes dropped from her face to her neck and then her chest. If only touching her and knowing how much she enjoyed it didn’t seem like such a chore. With a small sound of frustration he put his forehead on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her.

Even in her trance Aiyana recognized the frustration in his voice. “Astarion,” she said softly without opening her eyes. “My body is yours to please whenever you wish,” she reminded him and moved his hands from her waist in opposite directions. One hand she lowered across her abdomen and the other she moved up towards her chest.

The sudden excitement he felt as she guided his hands almost caused Astarion to audibly gasp. He breathed against her neck and a sinking feeling started in his stomach. He wanted to please her but only so much that she wouldn’t ask for more and he knew she’d want more. He pulled his hands from hers and inwardly cursed. Things had been pointing towards this all day and he hated denying her desires but he didn’t want to resent her by forcing himself to perform either.

Aiyana turned her head away from Astarion and frowned. She didn’t want him to know that she was disappointed. It was clear that intimacy was difficult for him but she had hoped that a little help from her would have made things easier. She decided not to linger on the moment and moved to get up. “I have to do something real quick,” she said. “I’ll be right back.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and got up. Then she made her way over to Wyll to apologize about what happened to his father at Moonrise.

Left alone with his thoughts Astarion’s shoulders slumped. He tried to recall how things had happened the last time and why he hadn’t felt the need to withdraw then. He closed his eyes and thought. It had just been the right time and place. At first he had considered that sleeping with her was what she expected from him and it would just be a simple transaction. The word “together” echoed in his mind. He thought of how he felt knowing that he didn’t have to take on Cazador alone and the feeling in his stomach even in the present started to ease. Perhaps thinking of things like that would make things easier.

Astarion opened his eyes and looked for Aiyana. She was talking to Wyll. He was glad to see that Wyll wasn’t standing nearly as close to Aiyana as Halsin had been. He looked over at the wood elf and saw him kneeling next to Yenna and talking to her. The cat who followed her seemed to like Halsin enough to climb up on his shoulder to keep away from Scratch who was zooming around camp every once in a while. Astarion looked from Halsin to Aiyana and frowned. Two natural born leaders and here he had considered taking over Cazador’s ritual so that Aiyana and himself would be able to rule.

It was selfish. That was the way he was. After all the shit he’s gone through, why shouldn’t he have Aiyana join him in being his spawn? What would Corellon even do if he persuaded Aiyana that the powers of being a vampire were just as useful in taking out the Absolute as her powers as a Cleric. However, Aiyana was stubborn and Astarion now realized that there was another person who could take his place as Aiyana’s lover. The thought made him feel angry and he got up to find a wild animal to hunt. He grinned at a sudden thought he had of sneaking the body of a squirrel he had drained into Halsin’s belongings and took off.

Aiyana noticed Astarion getting up to leave and sighed. She had finished her talk with Wyll just a moment before. Guessing that he needed to hunt she looked in her pack found her half eaten apple from before. As she ate she watched Halsin talking with Yenna about things she could do to help around camp. The ginger cat was perched on his broad shoulders and Aiyana couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Then Halsin looked at her and the sudden eye contact and the spark from before began again. She quickly broke eye contact and walked away. With no Astarion for her to run to she ended up nearly tripping on her own feet. All she knew was that these feelings were something she didn’t know what to do with if Astarion wasn’t willing to be with her.

~•~

Later that night the sudden attraction to Halsin had been forgotten. Astarion had returned and Aiyana had apologized for being too forward while they sat and for how she had hurt him earlier in their relationship. She trusted Astarion now and her actions, even if understandable, were still something she hoped he could forgive her for doing. Though Astarion had never been much of a forgiving person he knew that it meant a lot to Aiyana and he forgave her. He did make her promise to never let him drink her blood if she was going to leave him again. As a joke he claimed it left a bad taste in his mouth. This made her laugh and he kissed her and pulled her close.

The sun began its descent and their final meal of the day was prepared by Gale and Yenna who was being supervised by Halsin. The Druid was teaching Yenna how to dice vegetables while Gale kept the cookpot going. Aiyana couldn’t help but smile as she watched them work. Having a kid around made camp feel more like a home than a gathering of soldiers. Aiyana made sure to give Yenna encouraging words to make her feel more welcome. 

Almost everyone seemed to take to Yenna rather well. Lae’zel wasn't particularly impressed and Astarion still had suspicions that she may be a shapechanger. Aiyana tried to convince him that a cat would hardly be foolish enough to be tricked into knowing if the girl was innocent or not. She wasn’t sure if she had convinced him or not but at least he let the subject go.

Later, the night started to set in and everyone was getting ready for sleep or their nightly meditations. Aiyana gave Scratch a final few pets before getting ready for the night herself. Then she turned and saw that Halsin wanted to speak with her. He seemed excited and nervous at the same time. Camp was quiet and Aiyana thought now was a good time to address whatever was on his mind.

“There’s something I want to tell you,” Halsin started and then hesitated, “I never quite realized how burdened I was until I met you. The threat of the shadowcurse, the politics of the grove…” he shook his head slightly and Aiyana realized that he had changed since they first met. He was still rather quiet except when something made him laugh. “I was forgetting who I was,” he went on,” then you lifted the fog. Thank you.”

His words were sweet and Aiyana was touched that what she was able to do meant that much to him. However, she didn’t think she deserved all the credit. “It was nothing,” she responded with a shy smile. “Anyone else who figured out how to remove the curse and save the grove would have done the same,” she added

“You’re too modest,” Haslin replied with a look of awe on his face. Aiyana felt the spark within her at how he, one of the most humble men she’d ever met, would consider her too modest. “I’d wager you don’t know how extraordinary you truly are, but I do.” The look they had shared earlier in the day came to their minds at the same time. “I have lived a long time. I have taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly,” Halsin said in a factual manner. “But it does now,” he said and looked intently into Aiyana’s eyes.

Flattered by his confession, Aiyana fumbled with her words for a moment. “Many lovers?” She asked with a higher voice than normal. Being one of many hardly seemed attractive despite what her body was currently telling her. “Maybe your heart stirs easier than you think,” she said. The thought of Astarion and how uncomfortable this conversation would be if he were right next to her crossed her mind. 

“Perhaps,” Halsin admitted as he noticed her reluctance. “But I want more than to fight by your side or just sit around a campfire with you. I want to lay with you under the stars and feel your skin against mine.” The wood elf’s gaze was unwavering and his face serious. Aiyana was frozen in place. She was hesitant yet intrigued. Her hormones were doing somersaults for some reason. How could he be so damn calm.

“You must have noticed a connection between us after the shadowcurse lifted,” Halsin went on and Aiyana knew this was true. Still Halsin had to know that she was in a relationship with Astarion. “You are bonded with Astarion,” he said plainly when she pointed that out. “I can smell his scent on your skin. Anything that we do would have to be with his consent and perhaps one day his participation.” 

The idea of a sexual relationship with two people was a new concept for Aiyana. She was still young for a high elf, not having passed her half century yet. Her sexual appetites had been suppressed for a long time until she decided to sleep with Astarion. Perhaps the stress of their current situation heightened her desires but having them for more than one person at a time was confusing for her. “I will speak to Astarion,” Aiyana said before she had the chance to really think about it.

“Take your time,” Halsin replied. “I’ll be waiting.” He seemed completely calm about the whole situation as if this were something a person did everyday. Aiyana furrowed her brow and walked away. The hormones in her body seemed to be playing an intricate piece of music that threatened to expose her desires if she wasn’t careful. She approached Astarion’s tent and still wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about the conversation.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about, my love?” Astarion asked as she walked up to him. The expression on her face and the fact that she had just been talking to Halsin gave him enough clues to figure out what had happened. The look of pure confusion on Aiyana’s face when she told him what the Druid had proposed was adorable. He could also tell that she was flush with either embarrassment or arousal 

Astarion couldn’t help but laugh. He cracked a joke about how he had noticed his interest early on and had been waiting to see how long it would be before he made a move. He had hoped this would make her laugh but she was still lost in thought. Astarion tried to put his former derision for Halsin aside. If Halsin could sate her growing desires he wouldn’t say no. However, he didn’t want Aiyana to just move on from him either. “This isn’t because we haven’t in a while, is it?” He asked.

“No,” Aiyana answered forcefully. “I don’t want you to think that for a moment!” She was surprised he seemed okay with this. It still wasn’t quite clear to her yet if she was okay with this. He mentioned something about not wanting to deny her hunger. Perhaps that’s what this was. A hunger. It certainly felt like it at the moment.

He watched her go. She seemed conflicted and a part of him wished he had convinced her to stay. At times he forgot that she was still young and sex was something she was free to experiment with. Astarion wondered if she would come back before leaving to sleep with Halsin. He tried to settle down to rest and found it hard without Aiyana’s warmth. He’d rested without her before. Somehow he would manage to do it again.

Aiyana returned to Halsin to tell him what Astarion had said and he agreed to meet her later. Aiyana’s heart was pounding in her chest. The way Halsin spoke to her about how much he meant to her was exciting. It was something she knew she needed to find relief from and wanted and that thought stayed with her until she went to find Halsin.

To say she was nervous was an understatement. She wondered if this was because she wasn’t sure how comfortable Astarion really was with this. He could be lying about being okay with her sleeping with Halsin. She thought of turning back but she knew the moment she did she would also hurt Halsin.

The moment Aiyana saw Halsin any trepidations she had were gone. The large wood elf was almost invisible next to the tree he was leaning against. The way he looked at her made her heart flip in her chest. He looked just as nervous as she felt. 

“I thought you might not come,” Halsin said in earnest and yet he looked relieved to see her. “That perhaps you’d changed your mind.” 

Aiyana smiled and gave a breathy laugh. “The mighty Halsin, nervous?” She teased. “That’s adorable.” She came closer to him and the smell of pine trees filled her senses again. This setting with fireflies floating around her reminded her of her home in the Glimmerwood.

“I’m almost afraid to touch you,” Haslin confessed, “for fear I might devour you,” his eyes darted across her form. His desire was evident in his voice and how he looked at her with longing. It had been years, maybe decades, since he had felt like this. 

Aiyana could feel her body start to flush. She wanted him to devour her and feel the wildness of how much he wanted her. “That’s why I’m here,” she said and was surprised when he suddenly stripped in front of her. His body was a marvel to behold. She looked him over and realised her mouth had fallen open.

“Come here,” he said and Aiyana stepped forward as he did the same. His lips pressed against hers and eased her mouth open and deepened the kiss. Aiyana closed her eyes as she felt the heat of his body enveloped her. She pressed her hands around his sides and up his back as they kissed. His lips were sweet and despite the intense kiss he was the one that pulled away leaving her breathless.

The way Aiyana responded to his kisses wasn’t enough for Halsin. He had pressed his hand under her shirt and knew if she didn’t remove her clothes soon he may just tear them off her.

The warmth of his bare skin against her hands was hard for Aiyana to pull away from but now she knew that she wanted to press her entire body against his skin like he had mentioned before. His hand along her back made it clear what he wanted. She stepped away for a moment to take her clothes off and knew that Halsin was watching her from behind. 

“There you are,” Halsin said in a husky voice as she stood before him. “Just as nature intended.” Aiyana turned to Halsin and he took a step forward before stumbling. She saw his eye color change as he changed into his wild form as a bear.

Aiyana stepped back unsure if this was supposed to be part of the experience. After a moment Halsin changed back to himself and apologized. “Sometimes when I get too hot blooded I lose control,” he said out of breath. “I promise that won’t happen again.”

She found out that she was as out of breath as he was. “I’m flattered I have that effect on you,” she responded. Then she put her arms out to him.

“I need no further encouragement,” he said and pulled Aiyana into another passionate kiss before running his hands down her body and setting her against the tree before lowering himself down to her waist and devouring her.

Aiyana moaned as gave herself over to the waves of pleasure Haslin managed to coax out of her. When he asked if she wanted more she didn’t deny him access to anything he wanted to give her. 

Halsin moaned her name a few times after moving her to the grass. She was as perfect as he had imagined. The taste of her lips and the sound of her voice as he pleased her was better than he could have dreamed about. He could hardly believe how good it felt to be with her like this.

Eventually once they were both satisfied Aiyana rested on Halsin’s chest and slipped into a trance while Halsin lay on his back with an arm behind his head. A vision started to swirl in Aiyana’s mind as she rested on top of Halsin.

A young adolescent boy with features much like Halsin’s came into view. His hair was short and had a reddish hue. His smile was wide and he suddenly changed into a fox. The boy was then replaced by a girl who was slender and petite in comparison. She was playing a wooden flute and birds were soaring around her. Her hair was golden in color but her skin was a shade darker than Aiyana’s skin.

Then that girl was chased by another girl with blonde hair that glistened halfway between the light of dawn and moonshine. This girl went into a cartwheel with ease. Then standing up she beamed with her arms raised proudly. Her teeth were white as pearls and her canines were pointed into fangs as she laughed and spun around. Her eyes were red like Astarion’s and she grinned before she faded away like the others.

Last, a young boy with moonlight silver hair appeared. He was shy and seemed to want to hide his face behind his hands. Aiyana’s heart skipped a beat. His face looked like Astarion’s but wasn’t pinched by the pain of a life lived as a slave. Then the little fingers lowered and she saw that the boy’s eyes were the same color as hers. Then the boy smiled and his teeth were perfectly straight.  No fangs.

Aiyana opened her eyes. The vision was still lingering in her mind. She turned her head and looked at Halsin who seemed to be resting peacefully on the grass underneath her. The spark that had fanned into a flame between them suddenly turned cold and began to sink. It wasn’t because Halsin had done anything wrong. It was her. She had used him to stop feeling the hormones building up in her and she was ashamed. Quietly, Aiyana got up and grabbed her clothes and put them back on. She felt bad leaving Halsin alone. So she left his clothes near him if he woke up.

The walk back to camp was difficult. Aiyana suddenly began to feel weighed down with shame and guilt. She hadn’t felt like this in years. Her vision had both convicted and terrified her. It led to memories that she had tried to forget. “No,” she whimpered as emotions she had locked away began to seep out and consume her mind. “Not again.”

She stumbled into camp and found a bucket of water and soap. Aiyana tried to scrub the lingering smell of pine and honey off her arms and began to smell the overwhelming smell of dried blood. Her eyes widened in fear and she was lost to the worst memory she had ever experienced. The one thing that no amount of sexual encounters would ever let her body forget.

Aiyana ran out of camp with no idea or thought of where she was going. She just had to keep running. The memory faded for a moment and she fell to her knees and retched. Nothing came up. Tears were streaming down her face and she was on all fours. “Please,” she cried. “Corellon please,” she started to sob. “I can’t go on like this. I can’t follow your will if this keeps coming up.” She dug her fingers into the dirt. “Protect me from this pain. Grant me peace, please!” The Cleric collapsed against the ground and sobbed until a dreamless rest finally found her.

Chapter Text

“Astarion!”

The elf was startled to be woken by the voice of Halsin of all people. He blinked and furrowed his brow in confusion. The tall elf could hardly fit in Astarion’s tent. The look of concern on the wood elf’s face caused him to sit up straight. “What’s going on?” Astarion asked. “Where is Aiyana?” he added with a fierce frown. If Halsin had done anything to hurt her he wouldn’t hesitate to add a few more scars to Halsin’s collection. 

“Calm yourself,” Halsin said as he noticed the aggression in his voice. “I thought she may have come back here. I stirred after our time together and she was gone,” he explained. “I got dressed and came back to camp to look for her but I can’t find her.”

Astarion grabbed his boots and started putting them on. “Is anyone else awake in camp?” He asked. Maybe they needed extra help to find her. If something happened to her he didn’t know how to forgive himself for letting her wander off with Halsin.

“No,” Halsin answered, “Not yet.” He shook his head. “If this is because of something I did,” he trailed off for a moment. Astarion had only seen self hatred on a few faces. To see it on Halsin’s face was a strange sight. Astarion couldn’t deny that Halsin seemed to really care for Aiyana and his initial suspicions that he was the cause of her running away lessened. “It has to be you Astarion,” Halsin said finally as the Vampire stood up in his tent. “Whatever is going on she’ll listen to you.”

He wished he could be that confident. Aiyana had been kidnapped once. What if she had been kidnapped again. “I’ll find her,” Astarion promised Halsin and the wood elf stood to the side so that he could walk by. 

“She seems to have gone off in that direction,” Halsin pointed at a spilled water bucket and boot prints leading off into the forest. “Good luck,” he said as Astarion took off in the direction he pointed towards. “May the Oak Father protect you,” he said and offered up a prayer to Silvanus.

~*~

Astarion followed Aiyana’s boot prints several feet into the forest before the grass became thick. She seemed to have been running but Astarion couldn’t find any evidence of anything following her. The smell of vanilla and sunkissed apples wafted across a sudden breeze. She couldn’t be far.

He lit a small flame in the palm of his hand and looked around in the darkness hoping that perhaps the flame would help her find him if she was still wandering around. Then he saw her lying face down on the ground. He couldn’t smell any blood but he was still scared. “Aiyana,” he called loud enough for her to hear but not loud enough for anything around them to overhear.

When she didn’t respond Astarion put out the flame and turned her over on her back. He listened and heard her heartbeat and her breathing. Relieved that she seemed physically unharmed he pulled her into his lap. “Wake up,” he said and shook her awake.

Aiyana suddenly threw her hand up in Astarion’s face and scrambled away from him. The heel of her hand had collided dangerously close to his nose and Astarion had to check and see if he was bleeding. “Get away,” Aiyana cried out. “Leave me alone! Don’t touch me!”

“Aiyana!” Astarion retorted and swore at the pain she caused him. “It’s me!” He groaned and touched his face to make sure everything was in the right place. He looked at her for a moment and saw that she didn’t seem to know where she was. “Aiyana, it’s me. Astarion.” 

“Why am I here?” Aiyana asked him. “No,” she went on before he could respond. “Now I remember.” She let out a heavy sigh. “I had a flashback. A particularly painful one.” She looked up at the morning light threatening to break through the trees.

“Was it something Halsin did that made you remember?” Astarion asked her. As much as he wanted to comfort her he knew how coming close when it wasn’t welcome would likely end up with another strike to his face. He had forgotten until that moment that she had told him that being kidnapped by Petras was worse than she let on.

Aiyana was glad that Astarion didn’t try to force his way into her space and tell him what happened. It was easy to answer questions but hard to be so lost in her own pain that she would end up pushing him away. “No,” she answered softly. “Things with Halsin and I are fine.” She sighed. “This happened because of a dream I had.” She looked at Astarion and remembered the faces of the children from her dream.

“It started out as just some sort of silly game in my head,” she told him. “I imagined what my future children would look like. Just thoughts in my head. A boy and girl like Halsin and I,” she shrugged her shoulders before leaning toward him. Those children were easily forgotten in comparison to the ones who followed.  “Then I saw a girl with hair like the dawn doing cartwheels with red eyes and fangs.” She looked at Astarion with a wistful smile. The girl had her father’s smile. Then her face fell as she thought about the young boy. Then she looked back up at Astarion who was listening intently. “And a boy who looked just like you but with my eyes and no fangs.” Her brow furrowed. The memory of the young boy unnerved her. Was this how she imagined Astarion was before he was a vampire?

“And this is what set you off?” Astarion asked with a frown. He had never considered children. As far as he knew that idea was completely impossible. Still the thought that she seemed concerned about whether these imaginary kids would have fangs or not was problematic. 

Aiyana recognized the frown and shook her head. “No,” she said and got up on her knees and sat directly in front of Astarion. “I hope I never forget that dream,” she said and searched his eyes and body language to see if he believed her. “That dream made me realize that I love you, Astarion. Even if what I saw never becomes a reality.” She shook her head and looked at him.

Astarion got on his knees and put his hand on her face and smiled when she didn’t pull away. “This all happened because I felt like I betrayed you and myself by sleeping with Halsin.” She continued and put her hand on his and leaned her face into it. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment. “I realized that I was using Halsin to get rid of my own desires. I didn’t want to feel them anymore.” Her brow pinched as she continued to explain. “It brought me back to when I was kidnapped. When I wanted to be anywhere except in my own body.”

Tears started to stream down her face and she looked like she was about to start sobbing. Astarion pulled her into a hug and let her cry and fall apart if she needed to. As she cried Astarion considered what Petras must have done for her to fall apart like this. For a moment he considered killing Petras himself but that would only ruin the ritual. Ascending and possibly torturing him instead seemed like a better idea. Then he thought of how Aiyana seemed to mention how their future children would have fangs or not. Perhaps Aiyana didn’t want him to ascend. He didn’t want to think about that yet.

Her confession of her love for him even if they couldn’t have children moved something in him. He knew she loved children and she could easily just have kids with Halsin if that’s what she wanted but she chose him. Aiyana would give up having a family of her own to be with him. Would that change if he ascended and made her a vampire so they could spend eternity together? He wasn’t as sure as he was before but he did know that, whatever it was they were, whatever he was feeling, it could be love and he didn’t want to lose it.

Aiyana finally fell into a deep trance and Astarion picked her up and carried her back to camp. The morning light was just beginning to break through the darkness. Halsin came up to Astarion with a worried look on his face. “It was a bad dream,” Astarion told him. “She told me it wasn’t anything you did,” he added. “I guess they really did a number on her when she was kidnapped,” explained in case Halsin forgot like he did. “She said she had flashbacks.”

Halsin looked at Aiyana resting in Astarion’s arms. “If I had known that she had suffered from that kind of pain I never would have been so forward,” he said, shaking his head with a frown. “I had no idea.”

“She didn’t tell anyone,” Astarion responded with a frown of his own. “I guess she just wanted to forget it ever happened.” His brow knitted together as he realized how true that had been for him. “The body just doesn’t forget.”  He looked at Aiyana resting in his arms and could help but feel this strange bond to her grow stronger.

It was clear to Halsin that the connection between Astarion and Aiyana had deepened for some reason. Astarion had a bond with her that Halsin would never experience with Aiyana—even if they were mates for another hundred years. “You should stay with her as she rests,” he said. “I’ll let the others know that you need some time alone,” he promised and then walked away.

Astarion carried Aiyana back to his tent and laid her down on his bedroll. She seemed peaceful and the soft sounds of her breathing seemed to lull Astarion back into a trance. He had missed her presence during the night and recent events reminded him that he hadn’t rested well. As he got down next to her, he pulled her back to his chest and placed his hands where Aiyana had placed them the day before. Her response was instant as he felt her blood running hot under his hands.

A moan escaped Aiyana’s lips as Astarion’s touch roused her for a moment. One of his hands was pressed up against her breasts and the other pressed her hips into his. “Astarion?” She whispered and moved so his arm wouldn’t be trapped under her shoulders. Her back arched as she stretched her spine to fit against his chest.

“I’m here, love,” he responded and pulled her as close to him as possible. He kissed her shoulder a few times as he gently rubbed his hands against her flushed and sensitive skin until he felt her relax. She let out a satisfied sigh and fell into a more blissful rest. Astarion was happy to have pleased her without causing her more pain and cuddled close to her as they rested together. If he couldn’t figure out how to say the words, “I love you,” back without it sounding like a lie maybe this would be enough for her to know he felt the same.

~*~

Aiyana woke from her rest and stretched. The burden from her desires were gone and she could still feel some of the lingering results of her exertion from being with Halsin. Then she sat up suddenly and realized that she had told Astarion she loved him after sleeping with Halsin. She started to panic and got up to leave Astarion’s tent when Astarion came in. 

He had a plate in his hand. “You’re awake,” he noted and smiled. Astarion noticed that she seemed apprehensive. “The day’s half gone,” he told her. “You must be hungry.” He watched as Aiyana avoided looking at his face. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” She asked quietly. She thought he would be upset with her for running off or for toying with him because she slept with Halsin. Astarion had never brought her food before. It didn’t make sense to her how he could be so calm when she felt like such a mess.

Astarion could see that there was guilt and shame behind her eyes. Her voice seemed so fragile. “You told me you loved me,” he answered her. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?” Slowly Aiyana looked up at him. Her eyes were shining a bright blue. Astarion put the plate on a table outside the tent quickly before putting his hands on her face. Her hair was a mess after her night with Halsin and then when she had her flashbacks. He hadn’t properly thanked her for what she said. He pressed his lips gently against hers not wanting to pressure her into anything. 

She kissed him back hesitantly and then started to  melt against him and sighed as she kissed him back and felt the familiar feeling of his fangs against her lips. She opened her mouth and moaned softly when he deepened the kiss and she felt his tongue against hers. Her eyes rolled back. Just kisses from Astarion were worth a thousand from Halsin. Aiyana’s heart started to pound in her chest as her blood started to rush through her body and she stretched her hands against his chest.

He pulled away and opened his eyes to see her face glowing from the amount of pleasure his kisses gave her. He could hear her heart beating rapidly. “That was for the things you told me,” he said softly. “You mean more to me now than ever,” he said and pressed his forehead against hers as she looked up at him. “I hope you know that.” 

Aiyana nodded and wrapped her arms around his chest in a hug. He kissed her head and pulled her close. “Thank you for being there when I needed you,” she said. “I was worried that Halsin would find me and think he’d done something wrong and I couldn’t tell him. He wouldn’t understand.”

“I do have to ask,” Astarion started to say and pulled her back so he could look at her. “What did Petras do besides kidnap you?” Aiyana pulled away but he held onto her hands.

Even thinking about the truth was painful. She remembered her hands tied not to a chair but to bedposts. The smell of dried blood on his breath. The thought of being pinned against the bed and of begging Corellon to intervene and having to endure the rape. Then the memory of fighting for her life to get away when he released her only to end up being tied to a chair practically breaking her own body and the chair in the process.

All of her emotions seemed to be cut off before she spoke. “He raped me and I pretened to pass out. Then I fought him off and he got angry and began to beat me until he actually did knock me out.” She finally managed to look at Astarion again. “The rest of the story you know. He had me tied to a chair and brought the girl out. As if what he did wasn’t enough to keep me far away from anything Cazador was up to.”

“He didn’t want you to stay away,” Astarion told her with an edge to his voice. “Petras was supposed to lure you back to the palace. Like I did.” He hated how close he came to having her as one of his marks. Her experience hardly scratched the surface of the kind of things Cazador had him do.

He vaguely remembered a time when Petras complained about nearly dying at the hands of a cleric. He’d been boasting about a change in position. It was around that time he had found the brooch. From then on Cazador only sent Petras out to intimidate and kill anyone who got in his way. It seemed like a personal punishment because he was particularly bad at keeping the rule about not drinking the blood of thinking creatures. Cazador made sure he never used a weapon when he killed anyone either. No blood. No temptation.

Aiyana watched Astarion’s face as he was lost in thought. It was hard enough for her to tell him the truth. She didn’t want him to go back over all the things he had to endure. “Hey,” she said to break him out of his thoughts, “I don’t want to linger on this. Let’s just take time to do something fun today.”

A soft short laugh came from Astarion. “I think you had your fill of a certain kind of fun last night,” he teased and let go of Aiyana’s wrists to press his palms against hers.

“Your kisses earlier did more for me than anything that happened with Halsin,” Aiyana admitted and pressed her fingers past his so their fingers were intertwined. 

“Oh, really?” Astarion responded with a grin. His eyes locked onto her lips. “There’s more where that came from,” he said and pressed his lips against hers and fell into another series of kisses of varying intensities. She let out a particular sound that he had heard her emit when she was particularly pleased. It was somewhere between a hum, a groan and whine for more. He liked to think that sound was almost like her singing for him. 

Aiyana’s eyes started to roll back again as she lost herself in his kisses. Without thinking she pressed herself against him and pulled her head back so he could feel his chest against hers. She wanted him to the point where it seemed like a need. He pulled away with a longing groan and then quickly pressed his hand under her shirt and pressed a thumb against one of her nipples. He chuckled as he heard her cry out suddenly from his touch. 

“Astarion,” she scolded and then shuddered as his thumb and palm worked out another moan from her mouth. “This is not what I had in mind for fun.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I wanted to see if I could take a bite before we leave and you taste so much better when you’re lost in pleasure.” Aiyana nodded as a wave of ecstasy went through her. 

He worked his fingers expertly against her breast as he bit into her neck and started to drink. He could tell that Aiyana was trying to hold back on her moans as someone walked past their tent. Doing this in the middle of the day wasn’t ideal. Astarion wanted to hear her voice. He finished drinking her blood and pulled back to see that her lip was bleeding. 

His kisses must have been more aggressive than he had planned. He caught her lip in his and sucked the blood from the source of the bleeding until it stopped. Then he pulled back and watched as Aiyana licked her lips. “I didn’t even notice,” she said, then looked up at Astarion. His hand was still beneath her shirt.

Being with Halsin had been enough to satisfy her sudden lust but being with Astarion was something Aiyana was sure she could never get enough of. “I’m yours,” she whispered softly with her eyelids lowered in anticipation that he would keep his hand pressed against her.

Astarion took a moment to look at her. Her hair was a mess from whatever happened with Halsin to the last several hours they had rested together. Then he felt Aiyana put her hands in his hair. He waited for the disgust or tension to tell him this wasn’t what he wanted but it didn’t come. Her chest shifted under his hand as she breathed. He thought about their shared trauma, how she would give up a chance to have children to be with him and his own desires started to burn within him.

“Mine,” he whispered and groaned before pressing his hand against her breast one more time before pressing his mouth against her collarbone. He pulled her closer and moved his hand from her breast to her back along her spine.  His other hand pulled her hips to his. Then he moved his kisses down her chest and grabbed her thigh and pulled it up around his hip. 

Aiyana gasped as he grabbed her thigh. She was still weak from when he bit her. Astarion had never been this enthusiastic before. He often held back but this was different. “Yes,” she cried out softly and put her head back. She was about to lift her other leg up around his hip when she heard voices outside the tent.

“We’ve all been through a lot,” came Halsin’s steady voice. “Just let them be for now.” Aiyana groaned in disappointment and a little disgust then frowned. She let go of Astarion and started to pull away.

“And how long do we wait?” Came Jaheira’s voice. “Until Aiyana and Astarion both forget what’s at stake here?” Astarion let go of Aiyan’s leg and rolled his eyes. Duty called.

The sound of the only other elves in camp extinguished what had started between them. Astarion grumbled, “Sorry, darling.” He kissed her quickly on the lips. “Take your time and make yourself presentable while I hold them off.” He moved to back away but looked into her eyes and kissed her one more time before leaving.

Aiyana felt like she could hardly stand up. Her mind was clear now but she was still disappointed that their situation seemed to keep them from sleeping together. In irritation she looked around Astarion’s tent and started to clean herself up.

Chapter Text

Waiting for Aiyana to finally emerge from his tent was nerveracking for Astarion. It wasn’t that he cared about what anyone in camp thought of him but what they might think of Aiyana if she didn’t come out soon. Most people in camp were worried. Astarion tried not to pace as he considered going back inside to check on her. While he was skilled at hiding his own feelings it was becoming more difficult to express them with anyone else. Aiyana had made him feel safe when they had been at Moonrise and now he knew that she loved him.

Halsin, on the other hand, was something Astarion had mixed feelings about now. If Aiyana wanted to have some sordid tryst with the wood elf he wouldn’t deny her desires. Now that she said those three little words, “I love you,” to him things started to change as it often did with her. He had heard those words whispered to him over his lifetime and they had only ended in heartbreak. 

At any other time he could have predicted when they were about to say it but Aiyana always seemed to surprise him. He sighed and looked back at his tent. If he went back inside he knew he would just pick up where he left off. He’d lose himself in making that bright Cleric of Corellon his.

Finally Aiyana walked out of the tent and squinted in the sun. An unruly strand of hair had fallen out of the high pony tail she was wearing and settled on top of her yellow face tattoos. She looked around and once she saw Astarion her eyes lit up. Astarion looked back at her and smiled before Karlach came around and began to joke with her about hiding out in the vampire’s tent.

Aiyana was a little overwhelmed at first. Astarion walked over to stand by her and to keep her from running back into his tent. Overall Aiyana was honest. She left out the details about sleeping with Halsin but admitted that she had a really bad flashback and ended up running off into the woods before Astarion found her. 

“I’ll be okay,” she told those who had gathered close to hear her. The humans, Gale and Wyll stood on one side. Then Shadowheart and Karlach stood the other. “Really I will.” 

“If you need to rest then we can look into things in Rivington while you stay here,” Gale suggested to her. “You’ve done more than enough for all of us,” he added. Aiyana’s brow furrowed as she looked at Wyll first and then at each other.

“There’s no reason why you can’t spend the rest of the day here while we split up and explore the rest of Rivington,” Karlach said. “Besides, I’m tired of sitting around and talking to myself.” The other companions agreed. 

Then they discussed how they would split up. Apparently girls in one group and guys in another seemed to be what they settled on. “Are you coming with us or not?” Wyll asked Astarion. 

He looked at Aiyana. “Do you want to be alone?” He asked her. She shook her head. “Then I’m going to stay,” he answered. Her hand found his and she squeezed his hand.

With a quick glance Wyll noticed their hands. “We’ll have Halsin come with us instead,” he said. “Maybe changing into a bear is enough to even out the groups,” he joked and then added, “Rest well.”

Once the camp was practically empty Astarion grabbed Aiyana around her waist and carried her back inside the tent. She giggled and cried out with laughter as the dim light inside the tent fell over them again. Astarion pressed his hand against her throat and felt her pulse quicken under his thumb. 

“Care to finish where we left off?” He asked her. His eyelids were almost closed just like hers as he pulled her close to him. She nodded and let out a shuddering breath. He moved his hand under her shirt and then opened his eyes and hesitated. “Did you mean it?” He asked her.

Aiyana opened her eyes and looked at him. It didn’t seem like he was asking about what she said recently. She searched his eyes for some sort of clue and found none. “You’re going to have to be more specific,” she responded. He pulled away but her hands were in his hair and she kept his face close to hers.

“When you said you loved me,” he told her as his scarlet eyes looked into hers. “When you said you were mine.” She didn’t answer but her eyes seemed to fill with tears. “Tell me that this isn’t like what you said about Halsin. That you used him to get rid of your desires.”

“No,” Aiyana responded emphatically. “No,” she put her hands on either side of his face and lovingly stroked his cheeks. “I love you,” she answered. “I’m yours and I’ve meant every word.” He was looking down now and Aiyana’s stomach dropped and she began to panic as he pulled away.

“I can’t do this then,” Astarion said with a painful expression. “As much as I want to be with you it still feels like you’re something I’m just going to lose.” He looked her in the eyes. 

“You mean sex, right?” Aiyana asked. She searched his eyes to see if he was trying to break up with her. Astarion nodded and relief rushed through her. “I understand now. I haven’t used you like I did with Halsin,” she clarified.

“I suppose I have used you to do the same thing,” Astarion said and shook his head. “You deserve better than that.” He sighed heavily and let go of her. Astarion took a step back and drank in the sight of her. “It is hard for me to say no to you when you make it crystal clear what you want.” 

The way he gazed at Aiyana made her blush. “Is that why you gave me permission to sleep with Halsin?” She asked him. 

Astarion nodded. “I couldn’t deny you what you wanted when I knew how long you’ve wanted it from me,” he said and fidgeted with his fingers as if he needed something to distract himself with.

It hadn’t occurred to Aiyana that she had been so obvious about her desires until recently. She had to remind herself that picking up on subtle nonverbal interest had been his bread and butter under Cazador. “I never realized that I made it that obvious,” she told him and looked sheepish. “I always thought I was good at hiding it until now.” 

“Well, you have been under a lot of stress,” Astarion pointed out in his charming and witty tone of voice. “You can’t have it together all the time.” He smirked and winked at her.

Aiyana smiled at him. “I’m grateful for the way you always manage to make me laugh when I feel like a fool,” she said and closed the distance between him and pressed her lips against his in a quick smooch.

“That’s because you’re my fool,” Astarion replied and kissed her back. Then he looked to the side in thought. “What do you say to a nice bath?” He asked her. “I think I found a spring fed pool not far from camp.”

“I’d love a bath!” Aiyana replied with a gasp and an enthusiastic grin. She nearly did a jig like Karlach did at times. “Let me grab some clean clothes and I’ll be right back.”

~*~

Together they walked towards the pool Astarion had mentioned. It looked like the spring was feeding a creek that ended up joining the Chionthar. Aiyana tested the temperature of the water and found that it was hot.

“What?” She exclaimed. “No way! This is a hot spring,” she grinned at Astarion. “I’m glad you found this first. Otherwise everyone else would be crawling all over the place.” She started to take down her hair and tossed her locks out from their prison.

Astarion stared as her brown and golden streaked hair reflected in the sun like a halo of light. She sat down and looked up at him before he stopped staring and sat down as well. They took off their shoes first and then started to undress. Aiyana was still wearing Astarion’s shirt from the time they had been together at their camp near Last Light Inn.

Without her pants on, the hem of his shirt fell just below her bottom. She loosened the laces on the collar as she removed her undergarment. Aiyana looked at Astarion and he pretended that he hadn’t been staring and quickly took off his shirt. He turned to put his shirt to the side and she looked at the scars on his back. 

She thought about touching each one of his scars and praying a blessing over each one. It probably wouldn’t change anything but the sentiment strengthened her feelings of love for him.

Astarion caught Aiyana staring as he loosened the ties on his pants. “Like what you see?” He teased her.

“You looked first,” she retorted and removed her shirt before throwing it in his face. 

Astarion’s pants were around his ankles when he caught the shirt to his face. The shirt smelled like her and it was still warm. “If we’re going to start throwing things,” he said and gave her a mischievous look.

“No!” She exclaimed and took off for the pool before he could catch her. He stepped out of his pants and went after her as she took a few steps into the water. This slowed her down as he splashed after and grabbed her. “Astarion!” She shrieked with a grin. He picked her up. “Put me down!” They both laughed.

Astarion waded deeper into the water as she squirmed in his arms and then he tossed her towards the deepest part of the pool. The water was just hot enough for a nice bath. Aiyana soon came back up with her wet hair stuck to her face. He braced himself in the water for a shove that was sure to come. 

After a few pushes around the pool Aiyana’s irritation with Astarion faded as the hot water relaxed her tense muscles. This was exactly what she needed. She closed her eyes and put her head back in the water. Then she moved so the water would soak to her scalp.

A few moments later she felt a comb being brushed through her hair. She straightened up out of the water. “Just relax,” she heard Astarion say. “I’m just going to wash your hair. It has quite a few tangles in it.” 

Aiyana sighed as she let him work on her hair. “I’ve considered cutting it short once we defeat Cazador,” she told him. 

“Your hair is beautiful,” Astarion replied with a little whine in his voice. “Why would you cut it off?”

Her shrug caused ripples in the water. “Call it a ritual or something,” Aiyana started. “If you’ve ever had really long hair and cut it off you can feel the difference. The hair doesn’t get in your way. It feels lighter like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. That’s why I want to cut it.”

Astarion started to work the soap shavings into a lather and moved it through her hair. This would have been easier in a bowl but he made do by keeping her hair mostly out of the water. Then he worked some of the soap against her scalp and Aiyana groaned.

“That feels nice,” she said and looked back to see Astarion standing over her. He cupped her head in his hands and kissed her forehead. It was another opportunity to start something. Aiyana was in a position that Astarion found particularly attractive. He had to focus on her hair again to keep himself distracted.

Once he rinsed out her hair she stood up in the hot water and turned towards him. “Now. It’s your turn,” Aiyana said with a smile. Astarion seemed confused for a moment. “I’m going to wash your hair.” She added. “You should relax too.” 

“You don’t have to,” Astarion started to say.

“Love, I want to,” Aiyana interrupted and stressed the word “want” by raising her eyebrows. He sighed and his shoulders lowered in acceptance. She swam over to the bank of the pool for a moment and grabbed more soap. The cool air on her warm skin made her shiver before she came back into the pool.

Astarion was staring at her as she held the soap shavings in her hands and dipped them into the water to let them soften. She looked up at him. His eyes were wandering all over her form which made her smile.

“Turn around,” she told him. Astarion obliged and she finally saw the scars on his back up close for a moment before they disappeared under the surface of the water. Astarion did his best to relax as Aiyana started to wash his hair. He let out a long drawn out sigh as she lathered the soap around his silvery locks.

It didn’t take as long for her to wash his hair since it was shorter. Aiyana took her time though and watched as his face relaxed as she massaged her fingers along his scalp and along his neck. He was beautiful and she wanted him to be hers. Once she was done she put her hands over his chest as he floated and kissed his cheek.

Astarion grabbed her hands and pulled her arms forward until she was nearly on top of him before standing up. The swift movement lifted her halfway out of the water on top of his back. Aiyana grinned as Astarion laughed. He felt her chest against his back. She nibbled at the tip of his ear since he held her hands prisoner. He didn’t seem to mind.

Aiyana kicked her legs through the water to find some footing. She tried to wrap her legs around him but couldn’t. “Astarion! I need my arms,” she said. Astarion held her wrists in one hand and then went under the water and brought her with him. “Wha—“

While under the water Astarion moved Aiyana in front of him and put her hands on the nape of his neck before going back up to the surface. The warm water trickled down their skin as Aiyana gasped for air.  She blinked several times to get the water out of her eyes.

“Still need your arms?” Astarion asked with a mischievous grin. He pulled her against him and she put her legs around his waist so she wouldn’t float away. “Or do you need something else now?”

“You are the worst,” Aiyana teased with a smile. “Why I enjoy your teasing, I’ll never know.” She pressed her mouth against his and he kissed her back. As their kisses grew more passionate Astarion let go of her hands and reached for her neck. Aiyana took her chance and pulled back from kissing him and splashed him in the face. The look on his face was one of pure shock. She tried to swim away but he grabbed onto her legs and pinned her in place. 

“How dare you,” Astarion cried out and then pulled her back to him and pretended to bite at her neck. She laughed and they splashed water at each other for a while before they finished washing. They dried off and talked for a while.

“Does it bother you that I’m a cleric?” Aiyana asked Astarion as they headed back to camp. It was something she knew they would have to discuss eventually.

“Why would that bother me?” He asked her as he feigned indifference.

Aiyana rolled her eyes. She should have guessed he wouldn’t answer her question right away. “Oh I don’t know,” she said mocking his familiar cadence of sarcasm. “Because clerics tend to make it their business to kill vampires.”

Astarion shrugged. “I just assumed that you were a really bad cleric by trusting me,” he said. He took a few steps and then turned to see that she had stopped and looked hurt. “It was a joke darling,” he said, trying to recover. “I didn’t really mean it.”

His words weighed heavy on Aiyana’s heart. Her interest in Astarion had been selfish at first. She thought he was different from other vampires but often found out that her instincts were right. He had used her in order to gain her trust and protection. Sometimes she wondered what it would have been like if she had followed her instincts and never slept with him to begin with.

“I guess it just occurred to me that if we hadn’t had sex, we wouldn’t be together,” Aiyana said and her frown deepened. She looked at Astarion and saw that the subject made him uncomfortable.

He sighed. “You’re probably right,” he admitted and his shoulders dropped indicating his sincerity. “I certainly wouldn’t feel as strongly about you as I do now.” He thought back to how Aiyana treated him before they released Halsin and saved the Grove. 

Astarion assumed that if Aiyana fell for anyone it would have been Gale. However Gale seemed to be his own worst enemy when it came to lovers. “If we hadn’t slept together would you still have agreed to find Yugir and learn about my scars?” He asked.

“Yes,” Aiyana answered without hesitation.

“And defended my decision with the drow?”

“Yes.”

Astarion looked at her for a moment. Her goodness without a connection to Cazador probably would have left him feeling resentful and obligated to see things through. He certainly wouldn’t stick around if she refused to give him what he wanted. “And what if you never ran into Cazador or Petras?” He asked. Aiyana’s blue eyes met his. “Would you have so easily welcomed me into your group?

It took her a moment to consider. Aiyana wondered if she would even be a cleric without running into Cazador. She delved into memories of her youth when her family traveled to the Cormanthor forest to see the Standing Stone rebuilt nearly 100 years after the Drow destroyed it. The obelisk repaired had inspired her then to rebuild things that fate tried to destroy. That had been after the attack but it could have easily been a werewolf coming after her instead of a vampire.

“If I were still a Cleric I believe I would,” she answered. “However I’m only the cleric I am today because of Cazador and Petras,” Aiyana pointed out. Astarion couldn’t fathom how she could give them any credit and he expressed it through a grimace. “Faith isn’t blind like law and justice. I’ve doubted Corellon’s reasons for choosing to bless me. I’ve even turned to Lathander for hope and renewal. Even with the guidance of Lathander I still found that even when I doubted, Corellon was the one who had a plan for me. When I fell apart after Petras I had all but abandoned the idea of gods.”

Astarion has started to tune her out a bit but was surprised to learn this. “You abandoned your god?” He asked and then frowned. “Why on earth did you go crawling back to him?” He nearly shouted. “He let those horrible things happen to you. He should have saved you!”

Aiyana looked at Astarion with her eyes full of sympathy. It was clear now that his feelings for her had deepened since she told him about what happened. “If Corellon had saved me then,” she started, “I’m certain that Cazador would have had you and your siblings hunt me down. I would have ruined his plans for this ritual and likely have scars like yours carved into my back.”

His pale face fell as he realized how likely that possibility was. “I still refuse to believe in a god who treats his followers like playthings,” he spat out with a look of disgust.

“I don’t want you to,” Aiyana said with a smile. “That’s a very valid reason to not believe in gods,” she admitted. “My belief in Corellon is a part of who I am,” she went on. “It’s what gives me purpose. I just need to know you to understand that.”

Astarion took a deep breath. He didn't want to lose her over something as silly as this but she was a cleric. He wouldn’t want her to be less than what she was. Even though he did hope to turn her into a vampire after he ascended, this was a compromise he could make. “I understand,” he replied. “I’ll keep my opinions on the matter to myself as long as you don’t try to convert me.”

“I’m not a member of a cult,” Aiyana said with a laugh and then started to walk back to camp again. “I just don’t want my devotion to Corellon to come between us.”

Astarion waved a hand as if to shoo away the issue. “Corellon can have all your prayers just as long as I get you at the end of the day begging for me,” he drawled and watched her turn her head over her shoulder and bite her lip suggestively at him. 

“Cheeky,” he scowled at her and then jogged over to match her pace. “That lip should only be bitten by me,” he teased.

“They belonged to me first,” Aiyana replied as they walked. “I’ll do whatever I like with them. Lick them. Chew them. Pull on them…”

“This is torture,” Astarion replied as they continued on their way and Aiyana voiced a list of things she could do with her lips.

Chapter Text

Most of the companions in camp were taking shifts bathing at the hot spring. Astarion tried to get Aiyana to wager a bet on who was going to bathe with whom. “I’m not wagering money,” she told him. “We hardly have enough as it is.”

“And whose fault is that?” Astarion asked her with a knowing look. Aiyana’s track record often ended up doing favors for no money in return. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. 

“Okay,” He relented with a sigh. “If you win the bet you get to keep doing your holier-than-thou errands expecting nothing in return.” He waved his hand around as if he could care less about her side of the bargain. “If you lose I get to pickpocket the next trader we run into with a substantial amount of gold.” Aiyana’s expression didn’t change but he could tell she was considering it as her eyes moved. “See? No money involved,” he said and raised his eyebrows.

Aiyana pulled her lips to the side as she lowered her arms. Instead of the terms of the bet she was considering the relationships that would be on the line. Would they bathe boys only and girls only or would they be like her and Astarion and pair off? Those would be the obvious options but Aiyana narrowed her eyes and looked at Astarion. He would push the bet and want to get specific about who would bathe with whom.

“How specific are you planning on stacking the odds?” Aiyana asked him nonchalantly. The idea of the bet was interesting and she could tell that Astarion was enjoying himself. “The pool could fit three but considering there’s,” she paused for a moment to consider how many people were in camp now besides them. “Ten people in camp right now, there’s too many variables for a bet between two people.”

Astarion smirked. The way she was able to string him along just to make things interesting was a treat. “Fine,” he responded and then lost his smile and pretended to be serious. “Isobel and Aylin are out. Clearly they’d bathe together.”

“Yenna is too young,” Aiyana responded. “Jaheira wouldn’t be caught dead bathing in an unsecured area.”

“Halsin?” Astarion asked. 

An uncomfortable silence lingered between them. 

Aiyana glanced down. She didn’t want to think about Halsin. The fact that she had slept with him and ran off had to have hurt his feelings. Aiyana started to hold her arms as if she needed to hug herself.

“We’ll leave Halsin out of it,” Astarion said and put a knuckle under her chin and moved her face toward him. This was supposed to be fun and he didn’t want her to go back into whatever mental prison she seemed to have made for herself. When she didn’t look at him after a moment he kissed her and felt her posture shift as she kissed him back. He opened his eyes as he pulled back and saw her smiling gently.

“No Halsin,” Aiyana replied. “That just leaves Gale, Wyll, Shadowheart and Karlach.” She tilted her head to the side in thought. “That would leave either couples or a girl/boy-only option.” She waited a moment expecting Astarion to choose first.

“I started the bet,” Astarion said with a smooth tone to his voice. “You get to choose first.”

“Couples,” Aiyana called with a smirk and lifted her chin. Her blue eyes watched what his eye did closely.

Astarion tried not to frown or look away and tsked sharply instead to feign the fact that he was certain she would have chosen the latter option. “You sure about that?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” Aiyana responded and then smirked before breaking eye contact with him and walking away. She knew that he seemed to enjoy watching her walk away from behind. It made her think of how he had held her close to him from behind earlier that day. She brought her lip in her mouth without thinking as she thought about it and looked for something to eat with the food that was being cooked.

It still stirred something in Astarion whenever Aiyana moved her lips in a way that seemed like she was biting them. It didn’t help that she’d found a new form a torture for him but she did it without thinking. He was so distracted that he almost missed Wyll and Shadowheart sneaking off together.

“Astarion!” Aiyana called out and came back over to him. “We forgot Lae’zel,” she whispered loudly and then he took her face and turned her in the direction of Shadowheart and Wyll. “Does that mean I win?” she asked him confused. “I thought Shadowheart and Gale were a thing.”

They both looked over at Gale who seemed to have gotten to the hot spring first because his hair was wet. “Did he really just go by himself?” Astarion asked aloud. Enthralled in the bet they had going, both of them looked to see if there was anyone else Gale could have bathed with. Instead they found Karlach and Lae’zel talking together.

“I thought I was fickle,” Aiyana said as she processed the new romantic dynamic in the camp.

“What because you broke up with me before I barely had any feelings for you?” Astarion teased her. It earned him a blow to his ribs from her elbow.

Aiyana gestured at Lae’zel and Karlach. “Does that mean that we have a draw because they’re girls but we don’t actually know if they’re a couple or not.”

Astarion shrugged. “I still plan on pickpocketing the next trader we run into,” he said and Aiyana smacked the back of his head. “Look this abuse is uncalled for,” he retorted sarcastically. “I won’t stand for it.”

Aiyana snorted. “Then sit,” she suggested and giggled at her own joke. She was surprised when he actually pulled her over to a crate and sat down.

“Only if you sit with me,” he said and looked up at her as she stood between his knees.

She took a moment to look at Astarion in what could only be interpreted as adoration. Aiyana didn’t want to admit it but her lip had swollen from the kiss where he had bitten her lip on accident. She was trying to hide it from him but it seemed to keep starting sparks between them that she wasn’t trying to start. Instead of kissing his lips she pressed her lips against his forehead. 

He let out a soft sound of approval and then pulled her close to him. His ear was against her stomach and he could hear her digestive system working. Aiyana stroked Astarion’s hair and was surprised that he seemed content in a position that was like a father listening to the heartbeat of his child in the womb. The thought caused a strong wave of emotion to rise up within her and she felt tears in the corners of her eyes.

The emotion had been so sudden that Astarion noticed her tense up and he pulled back. The setting sun revealed the tears that she was trying to hide with a quick swipe of her hands. Aiyana cleared her throat. “I’m going to get something to eat and I’ll be back,” she told him and looked him in the eyes so he wouldn’t be worried that he did anything wrong. Then she walked back to where the camp supplies were set out for the evening meal. 

When she told Astarion that it didn’t matter if they had children she was telling the truth. However she didn’t expect the sorrow from giving that up would strike her so soon. She tried to remember what happened with Halsin and she wondered if there was a chance that she had been too reckless. She’d need to talk to Jaheira when she had the chance.

Later when the meal was over and things were being put away for the night Halsin and Jaheira debriefed Aiyana on what happened in town. There had been posters put up about Gortash’s coronation as Archduke. The Grymforge Gnomes wanted them to go after the factory where the Steel Watches were made. The Open Hands temple was dealing with a murdered Father and they had found a list and a ritual knife after defeating a group of doppelgangers. They were instructed to give the evidence to Valeria, a hollyphant, at Sharess’ Caress in Wyrm’s Crossing.

“There was also a camp full of Gur,” Jaheira told Aiyana who instinctively looked at Astarion. The vampire seemed occupied with a book he was reading. “They asked to talk to you and Astarion specifically,” she added. Aiyana turned and looked back at them both.

“We ran into a Gur before either of you joined us,” Aiyana explained. “He was sent to retrieve Astarion alive but had no idea that he was standing right next to me. I know enough about Gur to know that their way of life isn’t ideal.” She sighed. “I’m more concerned that they asked for me.” 

“The one man did seem to know your name,” Jaheira responded. She gestured at Halsin, “They weren’t present at that meeting but Lae’zel and Karlach seemed to recognize him.”

Aiyana frowned. “They were there when we first met him,” she confirmed and started to think about why he would ask for her. “We’ll have to meet them tomorrow,” she said. “I’d like for you both to come with us.”

“Of course,” Halsin replied and smiled at her warmly. A brief memory of the night before flickered across Aiyana’s mind and she tried to hide a shiver that raced down her spine.

“I’d like to talk to Jaheira for a moment,” Aiyana told him and without a word he got up. 

Halsin got to his feet. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said and walked off towards his tent. 

After a moment to clear her head she got up and walked with Jaheira to a place where the had more privacy. She told Jaheira about her concerns. Jaheira asked her a few questions and Aiyana answered them. 

“There is no magic or technique that I know of to help ease your mind,” Jaheira said. “The only things I know of are how people try to rid themselves of it after they begin to grow.” She put her hands on Aiyana’s arms as the younger elf’s face crumpled in anguish. “I believe I am right that you do not want that.” Aiyana shook her head. “Then you will either carry a child or you will not.”

“This is not what I wanted,” Aiyana told her as her lips trembled. “It’s one thing to have a child with Halsin. I know it would be loved. It’s Astarion I’m worried about. I love him, Jaheira.” She confessed and held onto her arms as she felt her knees weaken under her. “He won’t want to have anything to do with it. The child would be a constant reminder that I could be happier with someone else. I don’t want to lose him.”

Jaheira was not one for hugs but when it came to a potential mother facing all that comes with it she made an exception and pulled Aiyana close for a moment. “All you can do is pray to your god that the best option will happen,” Jaheira told her and pulled back. “Bringing a child into the world is both exciting and terrifying. Perhaps Astarion will be happy for you too. You mentioned that he gave you permission. He knows the risks.”

Aiyana took a deep breath. That reminder put her at ease. Maybe this wasn’t such a terrible thing after all. Maybe if they all got through this alive this would be a good thing. She thanked Jaheira and wandered around camp for a while as she thought about her options and how long it would be before she would know. There was the matter of sharing her concerns with Astarion and then Halsin. Who should she talk to first? 

Then she made up her mind to not talk about it to either of them until she was sure what the outcome could be. Her next cycle would appear in the next couple of days. Until then she would have to wait. She couldn’t see a reason to tell either of them anything until she knew. Taking a few breaths she started to sooth herself and went back to tell Astarion about the plans for the next day and the Gur.

“We could just kill them all,” Astarion suggested when Aiyana mentioned the meeting. “Who cares if they know who you are? You may be a bit of a drip darling but at least you’re mine.”

Aiyana was beginning to regret any and all sexual escapades she’d put herself through. “I don’t mind the teasing but I’m not an object of ownership,” she said firmly. “Our kisses left me,” she emphasized her words with raised eyebrows and a finger pointed at herself, “With a swollen lip that I’ve tried to hide all evening.”

Astarion looked forlorn for a split second and then scoffed with his arms folded across his chest. “Don’t blame me—”

“I’m not blaming you!”

Aiyana pinched the bridge of her nose. She didn’t mean to snap at him like that. “I like the banter but I think we crossed a line somewhere,” she said with a sigh. “I just can’t keep up with what’s lighthearted and what’s serious right now.”

Astarion took a moment to consider things differently. He hadn’t appreciated the smack to the back of his head earlier but considered that this was just another form of affection. Being shouted out was another thing. She did seem genuinely sorry but this was becoming a pattern. Aiyana would behave in an attractive and easy going manner and then close off all access to him or anyone else.

“What were you talking about with Jaheira?” Astarion asked her. He noticed how she immediately crossed her arms. “You don’t have to hide from me,” he said. The look in her eyes had an edge to them. If he pushed she would probably bolt. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me,” he added.

“I don’t want to talk,” she admitted. “I just need to be alone.” Her crossed arms turned into a self hug. “I need to think.”

“Then think,” he said and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I won’t stop you,” he said and tucked her head under his chin. “No kisses or touching. Just stay with me. You don’t have to do this alone.”

It took a moment for Aiyana to change her mind. She didn’t always know if the nice things he said were really him or just something he knew she’d like to hear. If it came to a physical fight with someone else she knew he wouldn’t leave her side. He had proven that to be true. Meaning what he said was still something she struggled to believe in.

Eventually she put her arms around him. Witnessing Atarion go from not wanting to be touched to holding her like this was a significant change. “You promise?” Aiyana asked him. Her voice was muffled by his shirt.

“I promise,” he answered. They parted and Astarion led her back to his tent. This enclosed canvas seemed to become their home over time. Aiyana somehow felt safer there than the times she had slept under the stars at the beginning of their journey.

Aiyana stretched out across the bedroll after removing her shoes. Her thoughts rolled through her mind as she began meditating for her reverie. Her hands lingered on her stomach as she wondered if she conceived a child or not. How would she hide it? Would she be able to save Baldur’s Gate before it arrived? It wouldn’t matter at all if she wasn’t. So, why did she feel so hopeful?

Her face told its own story as Astarion watched her try and meditate. He needed as much rest as he did but Aiyana was easy to read when she thought no one was looking. He could tell by the way she was trying to rest that she was concerned if she was pregnant. He had wondered the same thing earlier when he held his ear to her stomach.

Fatherhood was not for him, that much Astarion was certain of. As long as Cazador existed that would never change. Children were too easily captured and used and abused. The less children there were, the better off the world would be. Then people who actually gave a damn about kids like Aiyana could protect them.

He wasn’t thrilled to think that Aiyana would have a kid with Halsin but better someone who would fight for her and the child than him or anyone else in camp. There was a particular sibling of his, Leon, who Cazador favored only because he was willing to do anything to protect his still human child Victoria.

This only added to Astarion’s desire to kill the Gur. They could only be after one thing. Vengeance for the children he had been ordered to kidnap for Cazador. He could remember tying them up in sacks and putting them on a cart and turning them in like lambs to slaughter. He steeled himself from the self hatred that he knew would come from thinking about the memory. It was Cazador’s fault. He didn’t get to choose what happened to them.

This had to have been part of Cazador’s plan in the first place. Sending Gur after him was one thing but to send the specific group of Gur that he had him steal their children from was all the more threatening. Astarion’s fists clenched and he gritted his teeth. He wasn’t going to go back without a fight. Damn them all to hell.

“Astarion?” Aiyana asked suddenly. He hadn’t realized that she was still aware of him. “Rest with me. I don’t want you to be alone.” Astarion saw her eyes were only just opened and she offered him her hand. The lines from her tattoos were almost invisible in the darkness of the tent. He could see the swelling along her bottom lip now.

Astarion was determined to keep his promise. He laid himself down next to her and held her hand. If he hadn’t promised he would have pulled her again as if she was the only source of warmth in the world. She was like the sun breaking through  shadowcursed lands.

~*~

The next morning they got ready to leave. Aiyana would steal glances at Halsin every once in a while but would avoid his gaze if he turned his attention to her. Astarion kept his focus on what the Gur were likely to say and stayed silent while they packed. Jaheira stayed close to Aiyana for a moment and she asked her a question. She shook her head.

The walk to the Gur camp was an awkward one. Aiyana and Jaheira were taking the lead while Astarion and Halsin followed. The two men were both attracted to the same woman who seemed intent on putting Jaheira between both of them.

The camp was on top of a hill and there had been a recent pyre burning with a body on top. Aiyana took a deep breath and readied herself for what was about to happen. Gandrel could be someone from her past that she never wanted to meet. 

An older woman with a sharp undercut and short grey hair was reciting a prayer over the body on the pyre. Gandrel greeted them.

“I’m glad you could make it,” he said to Aiyana. “You are a bright light on a dark day,” he went on and looked at Astarion. “Even you, my erstwhile quarry.”

An uncomfortable laugh and a wave was Astarion’s response to being recognized. “Hello again?” He replied. It was probably a good thing Aiyana hadn’t let him kill Gandrel otherwise they would have a fight on their hands. The prayer continued. “You know what? Maybe we should leave,” he quickly suggested to Aiyana. For all he knew the older woman was going to call down lightning.

“Calm yourself,” Gandrel said to him. “Our leader has called off the hunt. She wishes to speak with you.”

Aiyana remembered that the story Gandrel had told them before was that he had been hired to find Astarion. To be sent by other Gurs was a different story. Her brow furrowed as she made the connection. The older woman finished her prayer and then walked over to him.

“The impossible Spawn, walking in the sun,” the woman said. Her voice was dripping with cynicism and superiority. “The last time you walked into our camp you stole our children,” she said firmly. “Our future.”

“When I was hunting you,” Gandrel explained. “I was supposed to take you back here. Interrogate you. Learn how to save our children. Then destroy you. Which, I’m surprised to find that Aiyana here didn’t do that herself,” he added as he pointed towards her. “Dûsan told me you were a formidable hunter.”

“That was a long time ago,” Aiyana responded. “I’m not the same person as I was back then.” She glanced at Astarion who was frowning at her. The expression on his face made her look away in shame.

“It is a good thing she did not end him, Gandrel,” the leader pointed out. “No matter how this woman was involved with your nephew.” She waved the subject away and focused on Astarion. “But you,” she pointed at him. “You’ve changed.” He was surprised to hear the Gur leader say something nice to him. “Is it true that you left your master and broke the spell that bound you to him?” She asked.

“Well,” Astarion trailed off and sort of mumbled. “Kind of? It’s a long story, honestly,” he said with a short huff. He wished it was that simple.

“He is free of Cazador’s compulsion," Aiyana clarified. “If that’s what you’re asking.”

“Not as long as his master lives he isn’t,” the woman pointed out. “But perhaps he has earned a second chance.” The woman told them about how they tried to save their children and found Cazador’s palace to be well defended.

“If one of his spawn were to come home,” she pointed out figuratively and literally. “Someone he thought he could control. He’d open his doors and welcome you in.” Her conniving idea was a good one. The wily plan reminded Aiyana of Jaheira and how she operated. Unfortunately, Aiyana was certain Astarion would refuse to be used by the Gur to save these children even if Cazador’s end was already a part of their plan.

“Then you could do what we could not,” she went on. Her facial features were hopeful for a moment before hardening again. “You could save the children you damned!”

The sound of feet shifting in the dirt for a potential fight came from Aiyana. She didn’t like how the woman was talking to him. Not to mention Aiyana had seen first hand how much Astarion hated how Cazador used him.

“You don’t know Cazador like I do,” Astarion said. Aiyana heard the sorrow in his voice and looked at him. She hadn’t expected him to express that emotion. “He’s merciless. You want me to march into the lion’s den and save your children? I promise you,” he leaned forward with a solemn look and shook his head, “They’re already dead.”

This news made Aiyana’s heart sink. Her hatred for Cazador deepened. Then she wondered how recent this incident had been if the Gur still had hope. “Are you sure?” She asked Astarion.

“I spent 200 hundred years bringing him victims,” he replied vehemously. “Every one of them was whisked away that night to be fed on by Cazador,” 

“But you never saw him feed,” the woman pointed out. “He could keep them prisoners for days before killing them.” Aiyana could only imagine how desperate their people could be to take their children back from the horrors that Cazador would likely commit. She knew herself how she wished he were dead after her altercation.

“I know our plight is grim,” Gandrel said. “But if there is a chance we can save them we have to take it.” He looked at Aiyana who frowned at him. She wanted no part of how he was bringing up the past as if he knew her when they never met.

“If our children are truly gone, then we ask for blood,” the woman continued. “I know you can understand that, spawn.” The woman was assertive and calm but for the way she nearly spat out the word spawn.

“I won’t say you owe them anything,” Aiyana said to Astarion. “But you can offer them revenge if the children are lost.” She turned back toward Gandrel and the Gur leader. 

“I suppose,” Astarion said and considered. He certainly didn’t owe them anything. He didn’t choose to take their children. He was glad that Aiyana at least pointed that out when she spoke to him. This would be his choice. “Yes,” he decided. “Revenge I can do.”

“Thank you, from me and all my people,” she said to Aiyana. “If you can do this we will be forever in your debt.” Then she took this opportunity to lay into Astarion about his life of violence, crimes and sins he’s committed not being affected by this temporary truce. Aiyana put her hands on her hips and frowned. While she was no stranger to the Gur being overly arrogant about how monsters needed to be wiped out she still found the cutting remarks left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“If you’re trying to encourage me,” Astarion retorted with a sneer. “You’re failing abysmally."

“But it is a start,” the woman continued as if he had said nothing. “You may still be redeemed.” She addressed Aiyana again and bid them to leave. Gandrel seemed to have other plans.

“It wasn’t until you mentioned your name in the swamp that I realized who you were,” Gandrel said to Aiyana who seemed to recoil from his attention. “You were Dûsan’s lover.”

“Don’t you dare say his name,” Aiyana spat at him. “He was all but done with hunting until you got involved,” she growled. Her companions were taken aback by this sudden outburst. “We would have been fine if you hadn’t given him a lead that ended in a trap that led to his death!” The disgust was clear on her face. 

“He made his choice,” Gandrel shot back.

“And I made mine,” Aiyana responded and stepped closer to him. She was taller than him by an inch or so. Her presence seemed to intimidate him. “I found that hunting would only lead to more pointless deaths. How many more of your people have to die before you realize that yourself?”

The hunter took a step back. “I can see why he liked you,” Gandrel said with a wry smile. “I’m sorry we didn’t meet on better terms.”

Aiyana wanted to shove him down the hill. If there hadn’t been people starting to stare she probably would have.  Dûsan was a person from her past that she did not want to talk about. Now she would be forced to because of it. Aiyana turned to leave the camp and found a place that overlooked the Chionthar so she could calm herself down.

Halsin and Jaheira exchanged looks of concern and worry. Astarion had his arms crossed over his chest. She had a lover and a Gur at that. He couldn’t care less about her having a lover but to be considered a hunter by a Gur felt like a betrayal.

“Are you going to tell us who this Dûsan fellow is or not?” Astarion asked as he began to lose his patience.

“Astarion,” Jaheira scolded him. “We all have our own pasts to live with. Let her tell it if and when she wishes.”

“You weren’t there when we met that Gur in the swamp,” Astarion told Jaheira and Halsin. “She knows why I hate the Gurs and now she’s one of them?”

“I was never a Gur,” Aiyana retorted sharply. She was still turned away from them as she looked out at the ships floating down the river. “Dûsan was raised by his Uncle who was a Gur but he was a Flaming Fist in Baldur’s Gate. He was the one I reported my altercation with Petras to. I was in one of the darkest places in my life then.” Aiyana was calm. This was a part of her life that she dealt with and accepted.

“I was starting fights in dark alleys trying to find out who it was that had done these things to me. I wanted a name, a pattern I could follow. Anything to keep me from accepting that this was just a terrible burden I had to live with.” Aiyana sighed and turned around. “Yes, I was his lover,” she admitted, “But that was ten years ago. I didn’t know who this Gandrel was until he mentioned Dûsan,” she told Astarion. “To call me a hunter was a low blow. He didn’t care for the life the Gur lead because of how dangerous it could be. Still, I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to face the vampire who,” her eyes glanced towards Astarion. “I wanted revenge,” she said instead. “Dûsan was willing to help me get that and it cost him his life. Blinded by my own hatred I made the wrong move. Petras just snapped his neck and left me there. I lost all my will to fight then. I said it was Gandrel’s fault because that’s what I told myself.” She gestured to herself and gave an exasperated sigh. “If he hadn’t given us information we wouldn’t have tried to corner him. The truth is that Dûsan’s blood is on my hands. I owe it to them to return their children if I can. Losing one life is one life too many.” Aiyana looked at the three of them. “Are you satisfied?” She asked.

“My curiosity is satisfied,” Jaheira responded and looked at Halsin.

“I trust you regardless,” Halsin replied. “We all have things in our past that we regret.” 

Astarion frowned at Halsin’s response. It would make him look like the bad guy since he didn’t agree. “We’ll talk about this later,” Astarion grumbled and made his way down the other side of the hill. Aiyana had aired some of her darkest memories and he was just going to walk away.

It felt like her heart was breaking and tears threatened to fall down her face. Jaheira reached out to Aiyana and took her hands. “Stay strong,” she said. “You will get through this. Do not give up hope.”

Halsin stood back. He wasn’t happy with how Astarion reacted but he knew that their relationship started before they met. He wouldn’t try to undermine it but if he could he would be holding Aiyana close rather than running away. She had been avoiding his gaze ever since they had slept together. He had hoped that what they had would last longer but he could see it coming to a close.

“We should keep going,” he said in his deep gentle voice. Astarion was reckless when he was in a good mood. If this news genuinely hurt him to hear they couldn’t leave him alone for long.

Chapter Text

As far as Astarion was concerned there was nothing for them to talk about. His intent was to push her away when the time was right. What he felt for her didn’t matter. Killing Cazador and being free to do whatever he wanted was all he cared about. Once he ascended he could just take what he wanted. He wouldn’t have to even think about her past anymore. Aiyana would be completely his. Just like she said she was already. His to please and then once Cazador was gone he could find his own pleasure in her.

Halsin and Jaheira joined him a moment later with Aiyana in tow. She looked as fragile as she had the morning he had found her. The weight of whatever was on her mind kept her from being present in the moment. Astarion had to swallow a scoff for how different they were. He couldn’t be bothered to care and she cared too much.

They all walked up to the gate into Wyrm’s Crossing. A few Fists  were refusing to let any refugees through. Aiyana took a deep breath and steeled herself. She couldn’t keep letting her personal problems get in the way of their collective goal. “Let me pass,” she told the Flaming Fist who was standing next to a ten foot tall automaton that could be nothing else than the Steel Watchers that Jaheira and Halsin had mentioned the night before.

“No refugees are allowed into Baldur’s Gate at this time,” the woman said. She had dark skin and thick kinky curls. Her face was stern as if she hadn’t laughed in weeks.

“I’m not a refugee,” Aiyana responded slowly and deliberately. “I live in Baldur’s Gate,” she said and drew out the word live.

“That’ll be 200 gold,” the Fist said. Aiyana fished the gold out of her pack with each movement fueled with agitation.

Without thinking Astarion took her arm to dissuade her from using her money but she jerked her arm out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped and glared at him before handing the officer her coins. Then the officer directed her to be scanned by the Steel Watch. While Aiyana was hesitant at first, they already had her money. If the scan was going to result in her annihilation she wouldn’t be afraid of it. Then everything would be over.

The Steel Watch began its scan when out of nowhere Philomena, a deep gnome they met in the Underdark, broke through the crowd and threw a rock right in the center of its head piece. There were sparks and it started to malfunction. 

Aiyana was stunned as Halsin, Jaheira and Astarion broke into a run past the gate. “Come on!” Astarion called out to Aiyana. She shook her head and ran after them. Once they were far enough away from the gate they stood off to the side to avoid suspicious looks.

Aiyana blinked several times as she tried to shake off this feeling of surrender. She had been ready to die so easily. It scared her. She turned away and saw a perfectly easy way they could have snuck into the gate without paying gold or causing a ruckus. Turning back she saw Astarion glaring at her. “What?” She snapped at him. “Go ahead and say it,” she taunted.

Astarion frowned in response. Inwardly he liked it when she was angry at him. She wasn’t hiding from him when she was angry. “I told you so,” he said and she sneered at him before walking off.

“I can’t tell if you two like each other or if you just like, not liking each other,” Jaheira said sarcastically then looked at Astarion with a frown. The pale elf refused to comment and Jaheira rolled her eyes. “Men,” she muttered and went after Aiyana.

Jaheira had Harpers to meet at Danthelon's Dancing Axe. Unfortunately the Harpers had been infiltrated by doppelgangers. Aiyana reasoned with Jaheira over the young man who managed to tip them off. They couldn’t afford to lose anyone trustworthy. Besides, Aiyana was sure the man was being honest. His fear when they first came in was real enough.

After that they went to Sharess’ Caress. 

It was crowded in the bordello and Aiyana almost covered her nose from the smell. The air was heavy with a sickly sweet smell of pheromone infused incense and an earthy smell that seemed to come from within dark damp caves. A female dwarf stepped out to greet the group. However, she was there to report that Raphael was expecting them.. 

“I am no devil’s lap dog,” Aiyana grumbled to herself after the information was exchanged. This whole place made her feel uncomfortable. Astarion wasn’t exactly comfortable either. It was possible that someone he knew might recognize him. Halsin, being as large as he is, always seemed a bit uncomfortable walking into a building. Jaheira as always was on guard for any potential threats.

Together the four elves wandered around the first floor. There were sequestered booths to one side and a bar on the other. Behind that there was a curtain and with music coming from behind it. Patrons were milling about discussing the services that were offered. 

“Aiyana, your skin must be crawling,” Jaheira said to her in a low voice. “This is hardly a place for a Cleric.” A few people were giving Aiyana strange looks since she had the Blood of Lathander attached to her belt. 

“We probably should have changed before we came here but there’s nothing I can do about it now,” Aiyana replied. “Besides. I think I’d rather walk around in my armor,” she added as a man sitting alone at a small table gave her a long lingering look. 

“There’s the hollyphant,” Halsin said and pointed at the upper level of the building where a small flying elephant seemed to be having a good time drinking themselves into oblivion. They headed towards the stairs while Astarion hung back for a moment. 

He glared at the man who had been looking at Aiyana and made sure to remember his face in case he tried to pull something in them later.Once they were all upstairs he picked a spot where he could keep an eye on the creep while Aiyana met with the hollyphant about the murder.

Valeria, the hollyphant, was cynical and clearly a drunk which Aiyana found distasteful. She didn’t know much about hollyphants except that they were usually celestial messengers. This creature like so many other people in Baldur’s Gate lately were filled to the brim with apathy. 

Aiyana presented the evidence to Valeria who seemed mildly interested but ultimately passed the issue on to another detective. She persuaded Valeria to give them a pass into the city and their meeting concluded. Aiyana got up with blank look on her face. 

“I suppose we should talk with Raphael,” she said in an even voice. She seemed distant as they explored a hallway with different rooms and signs on doors. The signs described the different experiences that the patrons below had been discussing. Aiyana refused to entertain empathy here. Not because she didn’t have any but because feeling anything at the moment would simply be problematic rather than productive.

They found the door where Raphael was apparently offering his own experience. The door was unlocked and she opened the door to find Raphael and the Githyanki Inquisitor Voss talking. He was practically begging Raphael to give him something. Once they acknowledged that their discussion was no longer private Voss left and asked that they come speak to him later.

Aiyana heard Raphael out about a deal he was offering. Ultimately an Orphic Hammer to release Orpheus from his prison for the Crown of Karsus. Aiyana wasn’t interested and left to talk to Voss. It was either take Raphael’s deal and get the hammer or fight Raphael at the House of Hope and take it from there. It would be something she’d have to consider later.

Once outside Aiyana felt like she could finally breathe again. She shuddered. It was one thing for her to be uncomfortable but then she also realized how much of that place was what Astarion was used to. It didn’t help that she felt like she was going to be sick and that made her wonder about her current condition. She felt the need to bathe vigorously again but tried to keep herself composed.

Astarion watched as Aiyana nearly ran into the sunshine again. Haslin asked her if she was alright and he felt something in his stomach sink. Even if Aiyana meant it when she said she loved him and that she would give up having children to be with him, he would still be condemning her to a life with less light in it. She would be happier with Halsin. With him she wouldn’t have to give up anything.

Having Halsin ask after her made Aiyana smile. His warmth was something she was going to miss if she found out she wasn’t going to have a child. Sometimes she thought it would have been easier if she hadn’t met Astarion. However she imagined how he’d be nothing more than a body in a gilded cage and she didn’t want that for him either. She tried to think of a suitable prayer about her situation as they walked past a few stalls and went further down the crossing. 

Without anyone noticing Astarion manages to pickpocket an art dealer and pocketed 200 gold to sneak back into Aiyana’s belongings at some point. She probably wouldn’t even notice. There was a walkway that they passed under and Aiyana stopped at a stall that was selling food. She considered giving some of what she bought to a refugee or two on their way back to camp.

Eventually they came to a hostel that Astarion knew all too well. Fraygo’s Flophouse is what it was called. Halsin pulled out a flowery key and gave it to Aiyana. Before Astarion knew it his companions had gone inside. He followed and looked around. “I’ve found countless marks in this place,” he told them. “People no one would miss.” He sighed. He wasn’t proud of it but they should know that this was a place he was familiar with. He saw Aiyana look at him and the kindness on her face made him look away.

They wandered around and looked for anything the key might match. This led them to the next floor where there was a hallway that opened to a room with narrow beds and trunks at the end of them. The key likely went with one of the trunks. On the other side of the hallway was a common area and two people were talking quietly to each other.

The whispers included the voice of a man and a woman. Aiyana knew the man’s voice. She looked at Astarion and became still. He nearly walked into her before noticing something was wrong. “He’s here,” she said and they looked into each other’s eyes. The likeliness that they would run into another spawn was possible but for Petras to be one of them seemed like an intentional plan.

“We’ll face him together then,” Astarion said and for a second Aiyana looked confused. “Let me do the talking.” He didn’t wait for her to respond and moved into the common area that just so happened to be the darkest part of the room.

“We should go,” the woman said anxiously. She may have been wringing her hands if her back hadn’t been facing them. “I don’t want to face the Master if we are late for his Black Mass.”

The two continued talking as Astarion put a finger to his lips and Aiyana followed him. Petras was openly talking about a mark and she glared at Astarion for wanted her to remain silent.

“It’s not for the Master,” Petras said arrogantly. Aiyana gritted her teeth. “It’s for me. I spent 100 years eating rats and dogs but soon I’ll be able to feast.” Astarion watched as Aiyana’s face went dark. This was the look of loathing she had given Disciple Zrell when the orc had forced her way into Aiyana’s mind. Astarion took her hand for a moment and squeezed it as they listened. 

“I want someone there. Ready for me,” Petras went on. Aiyana’s stomach twisted. His voice made her want to vomit. “Once the Master’s done and our Lord grants us freedom I can celebrate by drinking them dry.”

Aiyana’s hand tightened around Astarion’s as he moved toward his brother for a scathing retort. Her hand in his pulled her forward but not unwillingly.

“Cazador promised you your freedom,” Astarion sneered at Petras. The pair turned around and looked at him in surprise. Aiyana let go of Astarion’s hand. “And you believed him?” A sharp short scoff came from the back of his throat. “You were never burdened with intelligence Petras,” Astarion drawled and then put up a to measure the space between his thumb and pointer finger. “But your load seems especially light these days.” Aiyana smirked at the insinuation that clearly went over Petras’s head.

The woman was apparently another vampire. Her eyes were glowing red like Petras. Aiyana noticed her expression when she saw Astarion was somewhat sad. “Astarion? It - it cannot be,” she said.

“Well that’s no way to welcome back a brother, Dal,” Astarion responded and then with a flourish he put out his arms as if daring her to hug him. “Didn’t you miss me?”

Dal seemed stunned and confused. “Why did you come back?” She asked him. “You got out. You were free.”

Aiyana frowned as she thought about what the leader of the Gur said about Astarion being free. Cazador was hardly a part of the main mission but he had done more than enough damage to elfkind that she believed Corellon would want him destroyed. She looked at the woman and with as much confidence as she could muster and said, “We’re going to kill Cazador.”

“You don’t mean that,” Dal replied and looked at Aiyana before looking back at Astarion. It was a pitiful thing for her to consider how this woman didn't believe her for a second.

“He’s playing games,” Petras retorted and interrupted Aiyana’s attention from the woman. “He can’t raise a hand to the Master let alone kill him.”

“You have no idea what I can do,” Astarion said with a low growl. He clenched his teeth and grabbed Petras by the throat and pulled him over to a sun lit window.

Aiyana watched with an inner sense of glee. She hoped Astarion would end Petras right there. Dal’s scream fell on deaf ears. Watched as Petras’ face sizzled in the sun and started to turn into stone.

Astarion put his face next to Petras so that he could witness how the sun didn’t affect him. “Where is he hiding?” He asked and when Petras said nothing he shouted, “Tell me!

“Brother, please!” Dal cried out.

“Talk or burn, your choice,” Aiyana said in a low voice. This was hardly about what Dal wanted. Aiyana wanted comeuppence for what Petras did to her at Cazador’s bidding.

“You heard her,” Astarion said as Petras writhed in pain from the sun on his face. “Tell me what I need to know. Now!”

“The Master is preparing the Black Mass,” Dal answered quickly. She was wringing her hands now. “Beneath his palace. There’s a defiled chapel - it was hidden there the entire time. Hidden from us all.” She seemed terrified. Though about losing Petras or how Cazador would react if Petras died wasn’t clear.

Astarion had what he needed and he shoved Petras back into the shadows. Aiyana frowned about Astarion sparing Petras. She wouldn’t have done the same thing. He looked at Aiyana for a moment and then went to stand beside her. “I’m going to stop Cazador,” he told them.

Petras stumbled a bit as he regained composure. “What the hells happened to you, Astarion?” He asked as his face began to heal. “What are you?”

“I’m more than I was and I’m not afraid of anything anymore,” he said firmly. “The sun can’t harm me, Cazador can’t compel me,” he softened and looked at Dal. “I’m the only person who can stop him.” 

For a moment Aiyana could see how much his situation weighed on him. Then it was gone. 

“Now go, before I change my mind about roasting you, brother,” he added and imitated a flickering flame with his fingers.

“This isn’t over, Astarion,” Dal replied with a scowl. The two of them moved their hands to cast a spell and disappeared in a cloud of red bats.

Aiyana’s brow knitted itself into a knot on her forehead. Petras didn’t even acknowledge her. She had almost killed him once and that was it? He just ignored her.

“Poor fools,” Astarion said and interrupted Aiyana’s thoughts. “They actually think Cazador will save them.” He glanced at Aiyana and saw the expression on her face. This had been hard for her. She shook her head and looked at him.

“They’ll warn him we’re coming,” Aiyana said with a hint of regret in her voice. Tipping Cazador off wasn’t part of her plan.

“They’re no threat to us,” Astarion said in an attempt to comfort her. “And they have no choice but to do Cazador’s bidding.” He took Aiyana’s hands and held them in his. “I pity them,” he admitted. “Worst of all they don’t know their fate is already set. They’re doomed.”

Aiyana notices a subtle shift in his demeanor. He seemed to be feigning sincerity and she began to frown. The subject of ascension was about to come up again. 

“The only question is whether their lives will be sacrificed to a monster like Cazador or serve a greater purpose.” Astarion seemed to sigh and stare off into space as if day dreaming. “Seven sigils on seven spawn, and Cazador has the other six. We have to face him and take that power for ourselves,” he said confidently and looked back at Aiyana.

She took her hands out of his. “You mean yourself,” she retorted as gently as she could. Underneath the surface though she could feel anger starting to boil.

“Well, yes,” Astarion admitted. “I would be the one to ascend but that power would benefit us both.” Her silence took the wind out of Astarion’s metaphorical sails. “I thought we were in this together,” he said.

Aiyana crossed her arms across her chest. “So did I,” she responded and then turned to Jaheira and Halsin. “Let’s head back to camp,” she said. “We’ve done enough for the day.” 

Halsin and Jaheira headed downstairs when Astarion gently grabbed Aiyana’s arm before she could step away from him. “Don’t run away from me,” he said earnestly. “Are we doing this together or not?”

“This is very one sided at the moment,” Aiyana responded and looked at his hand on her arm before glaring at him. He took the hint and let go. “I would have been happy if you had just let Petras burn to a crisp right here. That would have meant the world to me,” she said and looked at his face to see his reaction.

“If I ascend, Petras would be dead anyway,” Astarion pointed out. “I let him go because I thought that’s what you would do.”

“No,” Aiyana said with a frown. She shook her head repeatedly and her voice lowered. “No, you don’t get to act all noble after the way you acted after we met with the Gur.” She said with her chin lifted. “You walked away when I was vulnerable. You don't get to try and pull that kind of bullshit on me now.” Her jaw was set as a flurry of emotions went through her.

“I thought this is what you wanted,” Astarion responded with a stunned look on his face. “I was doing the right thing here.”

“Did you ever consider asking me what I wanted?” Aiyana asked him and then scoffed. He frowned and clenched his fist. “This, what you did here, is all about you and what you want,” she pointed out with a hand gesture. “Petras dying is just a lucky bonus for you.” A sober look grew on her face. “Maybe I told you I loved you too soon,” she admitted. “I’m not just going to agree with you on everything.” She let out a sigh. “That’s not how love works.” It occurred to her that Astarion had no idea how to love someone as long as Cazador was alive. Nothing they had would be real enough to him until then.

“Are you with me or not?” Astarion asked with an annoyed huff. They had gone from close to being angry and now this. He watched her glare at his dismissive attitude. “Please,” he added then thought of how painfully relieved she had been when he told her about the brooch. He had decided then that he didn’t want to face Cazador with anyone else. “I need you by my side,” he added sincerely.

“And I will be,” Aiyana promised. “The promise we made to do this together was about taking down Cazador. That will never change.” She shook her head again as she spoke. “What to do about Petras, ascenscion, that’s not part of that promise.”

Astarion frowned as he saw her point. He wasn’t angry anymore but they didn’t have the luxury of talking these things out. “You have a point,” he admitted with a grumble. Keeping up with whatever it was they had wasn’t the priority. “We should go,” he added. “They’re going to wonder what happened to us.” Aiyana nodded and they headed back downstairs.

Chapter Text

The walk back to camp was long. Astarion and Aiyana were both lost in thought as Jaheira and Halsin casually traded stories about the ways they connected to nature as druids. Neither of them were particularly impressed with city life and were glad to be headed to camp where the noise of the city would be gone.

Aiyana was thinking of earlier that day. The request that the Gur had made and how Gandrel had mentioned Dûsan. The human man who had managed to support her when she was falling apart. He had reminded her that her life would be a waste if she let pain and grief consumed her. Before she had a chance to build a life with him he was murdered. Running into Petras soured the memories of Dûsan that she had tucked away in her heart. To hear Astarion say he spared him was too painful to accept. He had no idea how dark those days were for her and she had no spare time to tell him.  

Next to her, Astarion was split between believing if Aiyana was on his side or if his feelings for her were something he was willing to lose. Ever since he learned of ascension he had imagined her by his side. His radiant consort. There was no doubt that she wanted to be with him. However, he should have known that she wouldn’t want to become a vampire.

Her idea of love was such a foreign concept to him. He knew all the unspoken rules of attraction and drawing her in. However, believing that she loved him was something too fragile for him. A cleric loving a vampire. It was absurd! He would refuse to believe it if something didn’t stir in his chest when he looked at her. That odd feeling of hope. It terrified him. Pushing her away would be better for them both. That he had learned early on.

Then he realized it was too late. He’d been trying to deny it but Astarion was in love with her. The first time Aiyana had kissed him was after he had died in an ambush. Now he knew that she had experienced more than just a few run-ins with vampires and survived. Aiyana knew the gravity of death and she had decided to choose him.

~*~

That evening at camp was relatively normal until nightfall. The dead mutilated body of Zevlor, the tiefling leader at the Grove, appeared at camp with a letter from Orin tucked into a rag of clothing. This level of mutilation hardly caused Astarion to bat an eye. However he couldn’t help but look at Aiyana to see how she would respond. She stood still for a long moment in silence. Then she asked Yenna to fetch her a large cloth.

The next thing she did was carefully wrap the tiefling up. Halsin helped her move the body onto a wheelbarrow and moved the body to a quiet place to be buried. With a frown Astarion watched them leave. The reminder of Halsin and Aiyana’s relationship caused his expression to sour. Then he stalked off to sulk in his tent where no one would bother him and he could think.

Halsin pushed the wheelbarrow to the side and watched as Aiyana looked at the letter Orin wrote. It was signed in red ink. His feelings for Aiyana hadn’t changed. Halsin still wanted to comfort her and support her. “How are you doing?” He asked. 

Aiyana crumpled the note up in her hand. The sound crackled in contrast to Halsin’s voice. “Would tieflings rather be buried or burned on a pyre?” Aiyana asked, completely lost in her thoughts. Her expression was blank as she looked at the patch of grass she planned on digging up.

“Aiyana,” Halsin said gently. “Speak to me.” He put his large hands on her slender shoulders and turned her to face him. She avoided his gaze. “I can take care of this if you want me to,” he said. Her eyes met his and for a moment they softened. Halsin was one of her greatest sources of comfort. However, she realized that even if she did bear his child that comfort and safety wasn’t enough for her. She simply didn’t love Halsin the way he deserved to be loved.

Then with a frown she looked down. “I need to do this alone,” she replied. “I’ve wasted enough time being selfish and careless the past few days. Especially with you,” she added. She took a deep breath and started to wring her hands. “I often struggle with my own sexual desires,” she admitted and furrowed her brow as she paused. “I will have very sudden and intense desires. You reciprocated them at a time when I just wanted them to go away. I used you and I’m sorry.” She looked up at him to see how he would react and saw the steady warmth in his gaze.

“I’m not,” Halsin replied and put his hand on the side of her face. “Being with you was wonderful,” he told her and leaned in close. “I’d gladly be used by you again.” 

An annoying flame of desire started up in Aiyana and she shook her head. “I can’t,” she said and backed away. “You may not mind but I do.” The distance allowed her to breathe. “I don’t have feelings for you, Halsin,” she admitted and looked at him. “Not the kind of feelings that would last.” 

He lowered his hand and realized what she wanted. “I can’t convince you otherwise?” he asked and she shook her head in response. “I had hoped what we had would last longer but I understand,” he said in a strained but still steady voice. “I will stay by your side however you need me just not as a lover.”

“I am grateful for that,” Aiyana told him politely and sighed. “Now, I could use some time alone to think.” Halsin nodded respectfully but didn’t hide a sad expression and returned to camp. 

Once alone, Aiyana grabbed a shovel and began to dig a grave. She had decided that Zevlor’s body should nourish growth when he no longer could. As she worked her thoughts drifted to when she became a cleric. It was something that Aiyana had been hesitant to choose when she was younger. Most high elves would spend their first century figuring out who they were meant to be under Corellon’s guidance. Aiyana had gone to Evereska and Everlund, elven cities, to the east and north of High Forest, in her early twenties. Each city had temples built to worship Corellon. The communities offered her guidance. Once Aiyana told the church leaders what happened when she was a child they were amazed. Apparently there had never been such an occurrence before around a child her age. A few believed that she may be Corellon’s Chosen and that he would guide her to a holy mission involving vampires. She believed them then and where else to grow in her skills than in the lower city of Baldur’s Gate next the Szarr palace. 

Her initial intent was to simply learn what she could about vampires in a city where she could ask around instead of getting involved. However, she found a city corrupt with apathy and feigned ignorance. Simply learning about vampires wasn’t enough. Aiyana needed a way to make a living. So, she opened a jewelry shop that specialized in sacred blessings. Corellon wasn’t one of the main gods worshipped in Baldur’s Gate. So, she had to adapt the blessings of Corellon to other deities such as Mystra, Umberlee, Helm and Lathander. She was careful to make sure her magic was forged by the deities themselves at Stormshore Tabernacle. Then once she was manipulated and attacked by Petras it was clear that she had been too ambitious to try and forge a path in Baldur’s Gate on her own. 

The grave she was digging had a defined outline now and Aiyana removed any heavy garments that would get in her way. Her thoughts then went to Dûsan. The service for a fallen Flaming Fist was usually one with dignity and respect. However, most of his colleagues kept their distance once a vampire was mentioned. Aiyana and Olivia were the only people who attended. Dûsan had been a light to her when she started to believe that Corellon abandoned her. Where any of the Gur were at that time was a mystery.

After his death, Aiyana decided to adopt Olivia and become her legal guardian. There were plenty of children wandering around Baldur’s Gate without solid families to rely on. So, Aiyana devoted herself to counsel parents and children to do better than those around them. If she could lift others up they would sometimes lift her up as well and that was enough. Eventually her connection with Corellon started to grow again but she gave up on going after vampires until now. 

Her skin was covered in a layer of sweat as the grave was as deep as her knees. She stopped to catch her breath for a moment. “Elfather send me a breeze,” she requested and a breeze swept past her face. Coincidence or not, she thanked him. “May you visit me in my meditations tonight and guide me to your will.”

She finished digging the grave and climbed out. It was shallow but there wasn’t time for her to dig a deeper hole. Then she used the wheelbarrow to tip Zelvor's body into the grave. She wondered if Corellon would consider his blood on her hands or if he was another one of many in this war against the Absolute. Either way she couldn’t change what happened. She only hoped he could find peace in the City of Judgement. She said a quick prayer and filled the grave with dirt.

~*~

Late that night she returned to camp freshly washed from the hot spring when she saw Astarion step out of his tent. They exchanged awkward looks. He had disappeared into his tent and Aiyana expected him to stay away from him.

“Did you enjoy your time with Halsin?” Astarion asked with an edge to his voice. There was no point denying that he had changed his mind about her being with Halsin.

“I ended it with him,” Aiyana answered with a glare. She had been prepared for a jab but not the sudden shift in emotions once she told him. “I’m not pregnant either,” she added with a frown and looked down. “I just found out.” She paused and didn’t hide her disappointment, then made a move to pass him. 

He stepped out in front of her. “I’m sorry,” Astarion said seriously. The change in his tone was unexpected. He seemed truly apologetic. “You would have made a lovely mother.” He reached out to touch her but stopped. Her blue eyes searched his face and continued to find no fight in him. He sighed and dropped his hands. “Killing Cazador is all I care about,” he started to say and looked to the side. “What happens after that or what even happens during the ritual I haven’t considered. All I can do is survive. It’s all I’ve ever done.” He glanced for a moment in the distance and then looked at Aiyana. “But you,” he hesitated as he saw her looking back and hanging onto every word, “You consider outcomes before making a decision. My plans lack consideration and I need your help Aiyana,” he admitted in a whisper. “I don’t know how to face him on my own.”

Aiyana was stunned. Sharp words and fighting was what she expected to experience. Part of her was terrified. She felt his head to see if some sort of ailment or hex had been put on him. The only thing she could think of was that he was seeing her differently now. “Did you feed on some strange creature?” she asked him to break the tension. “Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know how love works but I want something real,” Astarion answered and moved her hand from his forehead. “But you don’t trust me,” he pointed out and huffed. “Honestly, considering that I’m the spawn of the very vampire who would have ended your life as a child, I don’t blame you.” He quipped quickly and saw that he had Aiyana’s full attention. “I want this to be real,” he said with finality. “I just don’t know how.”

“I’m not sure I know either,” Aiyana confessed as her eyebrows raised and she put her head to the side. “I do trust you,” she said and reached out her arm to comfort him. “Just not with everything. Not yet. There’s so much to think about.” Her words trailed off as her shoulders slumped. “I’m just taking things one day at a time.”

“I know you are, darling,” he drawled and pulled her close and kissed her head. He felt her sigh on his neck and he closed his eyes. “Just remember you’re not alone in this. Even if I’m singularly minded at times, you’ve earned my trust.”

Aiyana looked at him in awe and smiled. “You really mean that?” She asked him with a tone of surprise. “Even after everything that happened with the Gur today?”

“Gandrel is full of shit,” Astarion said bluntly. Her smile made the corner of his lips turn up despite his initial frown. “That much I knew from the moment I met him.” He looked down at Aiyana for a moment who seemed content to just listen. “I was upset at first and assumed the worst. You were just using me to get to Cazador or Petras or something. Then I realized I would have done the same thing.”

Aiyana looked at him with a growing sense of admiration. “We both want the same thing,” she admitted and paused for a moment. The subject of ascension was hovering over them again. “Right?” She asked.

Astarion nodded and pressed his lips together. He did want the same thing where Cazador was concerned. “I don’t want to go over what ifs and maybes until we know what we’re dealing with,” he said and watched Aiyana's thoughtful expression turn into a smile.

“I was about to say the same thing,” she said and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. 

Aiyana’s long lingering hugs were growing on Astarion. He rested his head on her shoulder and hugged her back. The smell of vanilla and apples were comforting to him. In her arms he felt safe but the gut-wrenching fear that she could be taken away remained. He had been determined to push her away before, but now he knew he would be miserable if she was gone.

“Will you join me in my tent tonight?” Astarion asked her after they parted. He wanted her close to him after all he had learned about her that day. This was getting dangerously close to love and he didn’t want her to be out of his sight.

“I have prayers,” Aiyana admitted, knowing he would normally leave her to pray to Corellon alone. “I’ll be in afterwards.” She pulled back to leave.

“Why don’t you just pray in my tent?” Astarion asked to keep her close. He couldn’t let her leave. If she left he wasn’t sure he could keep himself together. Not after running into his siblings and finding Zevlor mysteriously left in camp.

Aiyana looked at him and hesitated. Praying with him next to her would be a new level of their relationship.  “You have to promise not to interrupt or make fun of anything I say,” she said with a serious look. “My prayers are sacred to me.”

“My lips are sealed,” Astarion promised by putting one hand up and the other crossing a line over his undead heart. Aiyana rolled her eyes, gave a soft smile and went inside his tent. His dramatic gestures were endearing. He followed her inside and watched her. 

At first Aiyana seemed uncomfortable. She moved Astarion’s belongings to the side. Books and clothing along with a wide collection of cushions were in her way. Normally she prayed outside or in a room with more open space than a tent. Then once she was comfortable she had to try and focus on her prayers while knowing Astarion was watching her. She took a few deep cleansing breaths, closed her eyes and focused on the elvish language and the prayers she committed to memory long ago.

Her words were slow and deliberate. Each phrase formed with intent and purpose like a bard would play an instrument. Her voice was reverent and while her head was slightly bowed her back was straight. At times she would lift her hands as a petitioner and other times her hands would be folded in her lap. She paused at certain intervals as if expecting to hear a voice that only she could hear before speaking again.

It was an odd thing for Astarion to witness. The only other cleric, Shadowheart, prayed silently. His knowledge of the elven language was enough to carry on a casual conversation. Aiyana’s prayers were more elusive and made sense to him only half the time.

Then the prayer was over and something hung heavy in the air. It seemed like a sacred presence that radiated from within her and lingered in the tent before swirling around her.. Astarion leaned forward, his hand itched to reach out to try and catch something even though his eyes told him nothing was there. Then the presence was gone and he saw Aiyana watching him. He hid his wonder under a smirk. “Is that it?” He asked her.

Aiyana looked away for a moment and was silent. A moment later she asked, “Have you considered that gods can’t hear the prayers of the undead?”

Confusion crossed Astarion’s face. “Do you mean, because I’m a vampire my prayers fell on deaf ears?” He asked and then thought about it for a moment as Aiyana nodded and watched him. “I suppose that’s an excuse you could use,” he said with contempt and noticed how she looked down as if his words wounded her. “I’m never going to put my faith in a God that requires me to obey them.”

Tears started to stream down Aiyana’s face. Astarion was concerned but if Corellon had given her some sort of mission it was only more reason for him to despise Corellon for putting her through this pain. “I spent all this time believing that Corellon wanted us to stop the ritual together,” she said as her lips trembled.  “But maybe all he wants is Cazador dead. I was the one who wanted us to end the ritual.” She sniffed and looked down at her hands. They were shaking. Tears were blurring her sight.

“Can you not hear yourself?” Astarion asked her with an annoyed tone of voice. “Why are you the one to blame here?” He touched Aiyana's face and wiped away her tears. “Gods just use people to accomplish their own ends. Aiyana you could be free of all of that nonsense.”

Aiyana pulled back from him. “I am a cleric of Corellon,” she said firmly as her gaze steeled. “I have devoted my life to the elf father. Without his protection I would be another one of Cazador’s victims. I could have ended up dead or another spawn like you.” She got to her feet. “Is that what you would prefer? That I be a vampire along with you?” She pointed at herself. 

Astarion’s silence spoke volumes. He refused to look at her. Her face was full of disappointment and despair. The sound of her breathing was uneven. “You should leave,” Astarion said quietly and without hesitation Aiyana stormed out of the tent. She had hoped and prayed for a different response from him and now her heart was breaking. She stumbled for a moment as she realized that her worst fears had been realized. It didn’t matter how much she loved him and was kind to him. It would never be enough to convince him to not do the ritual.

The worst part was that she was desperately thinking of all the ways she could convince him otherwise. Then she realized she was probably the kind of person he was trying to get away from. He never wanted anyone to control him again and she had just tried to manipulate him. 

She went to her bedroll with a heavy heart and cried quietly. Her thoughts lingered on how she could possibly let the way she felt about Astarion go. Tomorrow, she would have different priorities and she couldn’t let her feelings keep her from making a wise decision. No matter the pain she was in now she would have to endure. She, unlike Astarion, had no choice.

Alone in his tent, Astarion wasn’t fairing much better. He knew how much Corellon meant to Aiyana but he cared too much about her to lie anymore. The plan had been to push her away and then all he had to do was be honest. He pressed his hands against his face. He had started to fall in love with her and now it was too late. Cazador was his only priority now. No gods or plans or clerics were going to change that. It still didn’t seem to dull the pain and he wasn’t sure there was anything he could do to make it stop.

Chapter Text

Aiyana had spent most of the night crying off and on. Her arms and face were damp from wiping away tears. She wore her travel worn shirt so that she could keep Astarion’s shirt close to her face. Her mind lingered on the moment she had first been with Astarion as she clutched the shirt close.

She thought of how, against her better judgement, she decided to trust him and let him in. The more she got to know him, and tried to lead him into the light, she believed he could be good. Corellon had given her a divine purpose and he could be a part of it. Now she had to deal with his refusal.

Her heart was breaking as she realized that loving him was a mistake. The trauma they both endured was too much for either of them to consider changing. That’s what she told herself at least. Sleeping with Halsin. Making her sexual desires more important than her divine purpose were all mistakes that she had made and she had to live with it.

The Corellon aspect of enduring sorrow was all she had to hold onto. My divine purpose, she thought and scoffed inwardly. Perhaps the Adoness in Evereska was right. She was too eager to believe Corellon had great plans for her. It could take decades to divine Corellon’s will and so far she had only endured one. Her shame rushed to the surface of her thoughts. Aiyana squeezed her eyes shut and took several steady breaths. I have to keep it together, she thought, and stood up before leaving the warmth of her bedroll.

Walking around the camp in the early morning and trying to keep up appearances was difficult. Being around the others should have been better than brooding about matters she couldn't control. Karlach asked her where Astarion was, since he hadn’t come out of his tent yet. With a strained voice she agreed to check. She didn’t want to tell Karlach about what happened yet. Aiyana went inside the tent without thinking and found Astarion, naked, in the middle of getting dressed. Her eyes passed over the profile of his face then his shoulders and muscled arms as her heart started to race and blood rushed to her face.

“Do you mind?” Astarion snapped and turned around to see Aiyana’s face burning a bright red. His annoyance melted away the moment he realized it was her. For a brief moment he could hear her heart race increase and her scent drifted into the tent.

“I – I forgot,” she said quickly and then left before saying anything else. The reality of rejection mingled with longing shocked her like a spark flying at her from grinding metal. For a few frantic heartbeats, she stood in front of the tent flap, yearning for him to come after her. Astarion watched her feet through the bottom of the flap as he pulled on his trousers and waited. “I’ll just let them know you’re getting dressed,” she said in the same strained voice she used with Karlach and walked away.

In a flurry of frustration he grabbed his shirt and pulled it on. Huffing, Astarion adjusted the cuffs on his shirt and clenched his teeth. He had spent last night missing her warmth and the sound of her breathing. He assumed that she was mad at him for wanting her to be a vampire. Seeing her walk back in as if nothing had happened stirred the sense of longing he was trying to ignore. Something holy and divine seeped into every corner of his tent when she prayed last night.

He bared his teeth and seethed when he considered calling out her name and running after her. She had gotten under his skin. As he raked his nails across his scalp the discomfort brought him out of his thoughts. I need to get out of here, Astarion thought and left his tent. The morning light nearly blinded him as he looked around. Aiyana was nowhere to be seen and disappointment sank in his stomach.

The sound of boots approaching made Astarion turn. “She went for a walk by the way,” Karlach told him after watching him look around. She had come from the center of camp where the other companions were eating breakfast. “I’m guessing things didn’t go well yesterday,” she noted with a sympathetic, pained expression that Astarion didn’t reciprocate.

“Yesterday was fine,” Astarion replied with a sneer, that came from a desire for privacy rather than personal dislike. “Last night was…” he hesitated. While he didn’t want to share there was no point in denying it either. “It was difficult.” He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “She said that Corellon had a plan for us to stop the ritual together,” he added quickly, with his voice expressing his cynicism at the idea. “And I don’t want to stop the ritual,” he went on as he gestured grandly to himself. “I want to benefit from it,” he admitted. Then he waved his arms around his sides. “Is that such a terrible thing?” He asked her. “To want control? Power?”

“Depends on the cost,” Karlach replied as she tilted her head back. Astarion frowned and crossed his arms. He hadn’t forgotten how she had told them all about Gortash selling her to Zariel. “You still don’t know what this ritual could take from you,” she pointed out. “Power comes with a cost.” She tapped her chest as a visual reminder.

He pressed his lips together and frowned. “I don’t want to throw my lot in with Corellon when I’m not even free from Cazador yet,” Astarion pointed out with a whine in his voice and his arms still firmly crossed. “She had no right to try and manipulate me into following her beliefs.” Even after he said the words he regretted it. His mouth twisted instead of his typical arrogance as he watched Karlach frown at him.

“If it’s any consolation,” Karlach said as she adjusted her gauntlets and continued to frown, “Aiyana looked like shit all morning.” Astarion’s face fell into an expression of concern before shifting back to indifference. Unfortunately Karlach noticed and her frown deepened as she looked down her nose at him. “So if you wanted her to feel awful then congratulations.” Astarion frowned back at her but he uncrossed his arms, ready to dodge if she threw a punch. Then Karlach scoffed and walked away. For once he kept his mouth shut.

With a grimace followed by a sneer Astarion went through his pack to check on his weapons. In his pack he saw the sickle Aiyana had made for him from the Sussur tree bark. It stoked a memory of one of the earliest feelings of genuine affection he had for her. He pulled his hand back and swallowed as the feelings came back along with the memory. A growl of aggravation left his lips and he went off to find something to sate his hunger before heading out that day.

The forest was oddly serene, with a lull in the typical tweets and chatter. Then Astarion heard the thrum of a lute being played. The tune was lilting and full of longing. It sounded familiar. Astarion listened carefully and realized the sound was coming from a tree. Aiyana was sitting on a sturdy limb of an oak tree. He hid behind a nearby maple and watched her play.

I feel your breath upon my neck
A soft caress as cold as death

He realized this song was from the tune she whistled by the Chionthar before forging him the sickle. Astarion was amazed that there was a song behind the tune. Her voice was clear as a bell. The tune she played kept a steady pace to the song.

I feel your heartbeat in my soul
Our futures bound our bodies know

Your blood like wine
I wanted in
It’s not my fault
These ain’t my sins
There’s more to do if we could only live

The lute and the sounds of the forest seemed to still, as if waiting for another refrain but it didn’t come. Instead Astarion heard Aiyana sigh. “I just want him safe under Corellon’s protection like I am,” she confessed out loud. Astarion put his head back against the tree he was hiding behind. “Who am I kidding?” She scoffed to herself and then stowed the lute on her back before climbing down the tree. Her feet hit the ground with a thump and she dusted herself off. “Astarion wouldn’t want to be safe if it kissed him.” She was quiet for a moment at the base of the tree.

Astarion took a chance to look around the tree to see what Aiyana was doing. She was wiping away tears and muttering to herself about how she should be done crying by now. A muscle in his jaw flexed as he watched and inwardly cursed at how hard she was on herself. With a sound of disgust and a sniff she cleared her throat and gave herself a little shake before heading back to camp. Astarion watched her go and as his shoulders slumped he found himself alone.

Being alone with no one around to judge him made him feel safe once. Now it seemed like exile. Her confession put a vice around his dead heart. The more he thought about their relationship the tighter it felt. Words raced through his mind. First Cazador’s voice and then Aiyana’s.

This is your fault!

I just want him safe.

Never disobey me again.

It’s okay.

You don’t have a choice.

Astarion is his own person.

Weak!

I care about you. I love you

Astarion held his head in his hands as he sat in the dirt while the battle raged in his head. People in camp were going to be asking about him. He had to find that switch in his head to turn off all the noise. Then he looked up with dark eyes and began to listen for a creature to feed from. He heard the familiar movements of prey. Then he let his hunger take over, bared his teeth and the hunt began.

~*~

Shopping at the clothing store at Wyrm’s Crossing was a quiet affair. The hum of the street was muted once the door closed behind them. A talkative tailor with questionable boundaries started a conversation with Wyllf. The man seemed rather dull and Astarion tried to hide his irritation while Wyll put on his best manners.

“Staying in camp will make you an easier target,” Aiyana had told him when he made a comment about not going. While she had a point he still struggled to be near her and keep his distance at the same time. The words she said in the forest haunted him.

So you want me to be safe, he thought. He sighed and looked at a few of the outfits on display. Normally shopping for clothes would perk him up. It could be another ploy Aiyana was using to soften the pain. He frowned in thought as he felt the fabric of plum colored doublet. He loved how she included him in things instead of letting him brood. The different colors took his mind off things for a few moments. Across the room Aiyana was doing the same as Karlach tried her best to cheer her up.

There was an unflattering shade of green that she pulled out and suggested. “Does this bring out the color of my eyes?” She asked Aiyana who hid a cackle behind her hand. Aiyana shook her head and smiled.

“Green is not your color,” Aiyana responded with a laugh in her voice. She searched through the clothes for a better option as Karlach noticed Astarion turn his ears towards them. She frowned and maneuvered herself between Astarion and Aiyana.

The chatter between the shop keep and Wyll came to an end. The warlock raised his eyebrows, grateful to finally get away from the volley. He started to walk towards Astarion when Karlach asked Aiyana about what was going on with Astarion. Aiyana frowned and checked to see that Astarion was occupied. Then she let out a long sigh.

“I told him the truth,” Aiyana said as she looked down at the material in front of her. “I believe that Corellon sent me to help him stop the ritual.” She reached out and examined a light blue jerkin with gold accents. “He didn’t like that and said I should leave.” The words came out slowly so the tremor in her voice was minimal.

Then she raised her eyebrows and said quickly, “His plan was to ascend and turn me into a vampire.” Her hand fell from the material she had been handling as she spoke and shuddered. She had experienced disconnection from Corellon during her rape. “I can’t do that,” she said as she looked up at Karlach and shook her head. “It was hard enough the first time,” she added as the memory of sussar blooms crossed her mind.

It concerned Karlach that their chat was opening old wounds and she tried to lighten the mood. “I can always give him a swift kick in the pants,” she offered as she mimed a kick with her feet. Aiyana pressed her lips together as if considering if it was a good idea.

“Earlier he made it seem like you were manipulating him,” Karlach admitted and Aiyana looked sharply at her. “I don’t think he believed it for a second,” she added. “The guy has been under Cazador boots for a long time. He’s starving for control because he hasn’t had it.” She sighed as Aiyana’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m not picking sides,” Karlach added with a wave of her hands. “It’s just that power comes with a price,” she said and waved one hand to the side. “And control is everything to a person who has none,” she continued and waved her other hand in the opposite direction. “You both have valid points,” she said and her demeanor softened into that of a compassionate friend. “Whatever happens, I think you two will figure it out somehow.” Then she shrugged. “At least I hope so.”

Aiyana let out a sigh. Karlch made good points but it didn’t change the fact that she wanted the ritual to be stopped while Astarion wanted to take it. “That makes two of us,” she said and went back to perusing the clothes. “Though my hope is not as solid as my faith right now,” she added with a huff and shuffled to the next set even though she didn’t take any time to examine the garment she just touched. “I mean, what sane person would say no to the idea that a god was on their side for once?” She asked rather loudly. An awkward silence followed and Aiyana grimaced, convinced that Astarion heard her.

With a sharp turn over her head she grabbed the blue jerkin she admired earlier and then pulled out something for Karlach. “Let's just try these on,” she muttered. Her outburst was nearly identical to Astarion’s in the way they were delivered. Aiyana frown turned into an expression of anger as she turned to a changing screen.

Karlach took the chance to catch Wyll’s eye across the room, gesturing at Aiyana and Astarion before rolling her eyes and shrugging. Wyll snickered and shrugged as well. The nonverbal communication would have continued if Astarion hadn’t turned around at that exact moment. He gave Wyll and Karlach a sneer and a glare each.

“Here,” Astarion said in a snide voice to Wyll. “Try this on,” he shoved an orange outfit with dark dark blue accents at him. “Maybe this color will bring out the red in your eyes,” he said with a frown. Wyll frowned and looked down at the outfit in his hands.

“I’m perfectly capable of picking out my own clothes,” Wyll replied with a wry look on his face. “This one will make me look like a pumpkin.” He pointed out as he put the outfit back towards Astarion. The vampire rolled his eyes and saw Wyll reach for the plum colored outfit. He opened his mouth to object when Aiyana walked out from behind the changing screen.

The light blue color of the jerkin was striking against her complexion. The lightest parts were nearly white and the gold accents reflected the color of her face tattoos. Astarion was captivated by how her blue eyes glowed brighter. He hadn’t seen her in anything as colorful before. She turned to ask Karlach her opinion and Astarion turned back to Wyll.

After picking out their clothes Aiyana paid for them and turned towards Astarion out of habit. Then catching herself, she shifted to Karlach instead. The tiefling gave Astarion a look and he avoided her gaze. There was nothing to say. The two of them had fought before. Maybe the distance would finally end things between them. He entertained himself by considering who Aiyana should end up with instead. He decided he would rather her go back to Halsin before Gale or even Wyll.

There was a silver ring that Aiyana wore to keep her from being charmed. She had received it in the Underdark from Omeluum, an excommunicated Illithid who attempted to destroy the tadpole and only ended up making it worse. It was enchanted to protect her from charm spells. Astarion had not used magic to charm her.

The only person she could blame was herself. She was, after all, young and full of naive hope. Courting in elvish customs took decades before marriage and lifelong dedications. Why on earth was she so desperate for it? Then she realized why. She wanted the search to be over. If she found a lover who could stay, who wouldn’t be easily killed, then she wouldn’t have to fear losing them. Yet here she was. Losing him anyway.

“Aiyana?” Karlach’s tall frame blocked the sunlight shining on Aiyana’s face and she looked startled. “Everything’s gonna be fine,” she said with a smile on her face. “I’ve got your back.”

The elf’s blue eyes looked up and found Karlach’s gaze. “Just thinking,” she said quietly. “I didn’t sleep well.” Her eyes lowered back to the silver ring around her finger again. She took a deep breath and concentrated on the next part of their plan. “I’ll try to focus better,” she added.

~*~

Coronation banners for Lord Enver Gortash snapped in the wind as the group approached the drawbridge to Wyrm’s Rock. Aiyana went through her pack and found the pass for entering Baldur’s Gate from the hollyphant Valeria, when a Flaming Fist told them that Wyrm’s Rock was closed today.

Aiyana handed the woman with several scars on her face the pass. “We’re investigating a serial killer that’s on the loose,” she told the officer. “We’ve been instructed to meet someone in the lower city.” The Fist gave a casual response and motioned to let the drawbridge be lowered. Then Aiyana stepped forward and before she could say anything the Steel Watch addressed Karlach.

“Citizen,” the Automaton said in a metallic expressionless voice. “You are being accompanied by a malfunctioning Steel Watcher. Please stand back.”

Karlach chuckled. “I think you have the wrong hunk of metal.”

“False.” the Steel watch said in its odd monotone rhythm of speaking. “Your unit is an outdated model. Your ra-gnax casement protecting your metallurgised–,” the machine whirred as if stuttering, “--ised valves are burning well outside the recommended temperature. Report to the Steel Watch Foundry for dismantling.”

Aiyana’s stomach dropped for a second and then she posed a question. “If she goes, can she get her engine fixed?”

“Outdated. Irreparable,” the automaton responded and then repeated, “Report immediately to the Steel Watch Foundry for dismantling.” The tinny voice was beginning to grate on Aiyana’s ears.

A groan came from Karlach. “If I end up being a prototype for these tin cans I’m going to destroy them all,” she growled.

“A threat to the Steel Watch is a threat to Lord Gortash,” the automaton went on but Aiyana rolled her eyes and walked past. There didn’t seem to be anything stopping them from crossing at this point. Her party followed only to be greeted by another automaton standing by a door. She stopped in her tracks when the machine ordered her to halt, its voice shifting from monotone to disturbingly human.

“My most esteemed guest,” came the silvered voice that Aiyana had only heard once before. “I am Lord Enver Gortash. You are the Prism-bearer, slayer of the dread General Ketheric Thorm. I welcome you to Baldur’s Gate. My City.”

Aiyana frowned. The flowered words meant nothing to her at the moment. His city indeed. The statement deserved a disrespectful spit on the ground but her mouth was too dry. “This will never be your city,” she said instead.

“It already is,” came the confident response. “Granted, there are a few formalities to complete, but,” there was a pause and Aiyana wondered if this was actually a live feed and he could see her through the Steel Watcher. “Well, why don’t you come and see?” The Steel Watcher leaned forward as if bowing. “Allow me to formally invite you to my inauguration. Make your way to the ceremonial hall.” The Steel Watcher went silent and returned to the position of a sentinel suit of armor.

“Well, I guess this means we won’t have to fight our way in,” Aiyana commented after the conversation ended. Her new clothes wouldn’t have been much protection if the Steel Watchers had ended up attacking them. Relief washed over her as she realised how reckless a decision that was.

“Wonderful,” Astarion responded in his typical sarcastic voice. “I would have hated to ruin our brand new clothes.” He looked at his nails and put his nose in the air. Aiyana glared at him, finally realizing he had a new outfit, too. His doublet was dyed with plum and black colors. She had avoided looking at him entirely up to this point.

Her mouth twisted as her frown deepened. “You’re going to ruin them anyway the moment you bite someone,” she pointed out with a conceited tone that mimicked Astarion’s. “It just won’t be as noticeable because of the colors you picked out.”

“Precisely!” Astarion responded with a grin and their eyes met for a moment before Aiyana’s gaze faltered and her smile fell and she looked away. The sinking feeling inside motivated Astarion to move ahead of everyone and walk into the hall. Perhaps there was something inside that could distract him.

“Is that Mizora?” Astarion asked after they entered the ceremonial hall. Attendants were sitting at tables and nobles were milling about. Wyll muttered under his breath as he confronted Mizora. The grey skinned cambion teased Wyll about his father and promised to see him later before disappearing. Wyll remained outwardly calm but both Karlach and Aiyana could tell that he was unsettled by the conversation.

Suddenly Aiyana found Astarion standing very close to her and she jumped. “Great Protector!” she declared and put her hand over her heart. “Don’t scare me like that,” she said.

“Is this how it’s going to be for us now?” Astarion whispered in her ear. “We’re just going to carry on with this awkwardness between us?”

Aiyana stood still and swallowed as she thought of how to respond. “You made a choice,” she said slowly. “And I made mine.” Astarion put back his head, irritated at her stubbornness. “If I become a vampire I lose my connection to Corellon,” she added and frowned. “I can’t believe you’d expect me to do that.” She turned and half expected Astarion to have already walked off in anger but he was still there. Looking up she saw his face soften in thought. “I never wanted to deny you access to whatever you think you deserve,” she said earnestly. “I just can’t be a vampire with you.” She told him and then turned away. “I’m sorry.”

“What if you weren’t a vampire?” Astarion asked her quickly.

“Astarion,” Aiyana retorted with a small shake of her head. “If you ascend and I don’t become a vampire, I’ll still die one day. Do you really want to face –” She was cut off as the herald’s voice thundered through the hall. Nobles turned, conversation dying in a hush.

Gortash sat on the throne at the end of the hall as if already crowned. The air of authority he carried reminded Aiyana of the connection she made with an Illithid console back on the Nautiloid. A grimace of disgust crossed her face as she watched him rise from the throne and greet them.

The only remarkable thing about Gortash was his baritone voice and the ornamental gauntlets he carried his netherstone in. His eyes showed a sharp intelligence but other than that he had no physical prowess like Ketheric or maniacal obsession like Orin. Overall Aiyana was unimpressed. Cazador was more of a pressing matter to her than this human.

Aiyana gave Gortash the message from Orin with a straightforward expression. When Gortash suggested a deal for them to work together she put her head to one side and considered for a moment. If Gortash believed they were allies they could move freely about the city without causing problems with the Steel Watch. That would be one step closer to confronting Cazador and getting things with Astarion settled.

“Deal,” Aiyana eventually replied. Karlach and Wyll both disapproved but Aiyana gave them a look over her shoulder. She would explain herself later. Astarion was rather impressed but she didn’t seem to care about his approval at the moment. As Aiyana turned to leave, Gortash convinced her to stay.

“If we are to be allies, you should be present at my coronation,” he said. “I wouldn’t want my new friends to miss this for the world.” The four of them stood to the side as a tadpoled Ulder Ravengaurd swore Gortash in as Archduke of Baldur’s Gate. It was an odd experience to view someone as revered as Ravengard crown someone as seedy as Gortash to be an Archduke.

Karlach noticed Wyll look away as his father was forced to do and say things against his will. She reached out and held his hand and he managed to give her a weak smile in thanks. Astarion watched Aiyana observe the ceremony with her fists clenched. He reached out for a moment but then the ceremony was over and they turned towards each other.

Aiyana glanced up at Astarion for a moment and then walked past him. “Let’s get out of here,” she said. When she saw Wyll and Karlach she looked over at Ulder Ravengard and reconsidered a hasty exit. Wyll talked to his father and they found out that he seemed to be able to resist the tadpole a little. There was a chance that he could be rescued. However, they couldn’t discuss further plans there.