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Chapter Text

The gentle breeze ruffled his hair as he blearily looked up at the night sky. He was seated by the opened window, hugging his knees while observing the uneventful outside. The moon was bathing his whole room in its ethereal light; it was so bright he almost didn’t need his tiger vision to see clearly. It was slightly cold and quiet and calm, the perfect combination to fall asleep to. Especially after a long workday, Saturday morning’s embrace waiting to envelop him. He just had to lay down, close his eyes, let his mind wander, and …

The weretiger sighed.

He had no illusions left at this point; it wasn’t going to work. He just couldn’t fall asleep. Again.

He had a light dinner and relaxed by reading a book for about an hour while sipping chamomile tea, all recommended to him by Yosano-san. Atsushi was hopeful it was going to work this time, even if it didn’t work the last. He’s been in his closet/bed for two hours, laying wide awake, before he took a break from trying to rest and ended up sitting by the window, watching the outside fall asleep while he couldn’t. Just like last time.

Was it the full moon? The fact Kyouka-chan was at a sleepover? Or was it …

Whatever it was, it was clearly going to prevent him from getting any shut-eye.

He stretched his arms and then slowly laid backwards, staring at the ceiling, his tired eyes reflecting the night light. What to do, what to do …

Well. He was kinda peckish.

So, he did the only thing he could; he got up, pulled a hoodie over his head and headed out to find something to eat.

Now that he came to terms with his insomnia, he suddenly felt like the night was still young; it was barely one in the morning, he had the whole nighttime before him to do with it as he pleased. That gave a little pep to his step, and he faltered before entering his usual convenience store just a few strides away from the ADA apartments.

He felt like walking a little further. To take a nice long walk and enjoy the fresh air.

Atsushi turned away from the store, determined to make the most of yet another sleepless night.

The quiet streets with residential complexes he passed slowly gave way to higher buildings and busier streets; it was the prime time for nightclubs to come alive. He passed a few bars and clubs, their employees on the street inviting him in, but there was no way he was entering, especially in his silly hoodie (it had bunny ears attached to the hood, courtesy of Kyouka-chan).

His hunger finally got the best of him, and he decided on a shop, buying soba noodles and lots of Sakura themed sweets. He loved the limited time products that rarely repeated themselves and he wanted to try them all before they disappeared forever.

On his way out, Atsushi checked his phone; he’s been walking for nearly an hour, no wonder he got so hungry. He was now also one hour from his apartment, but that didn’t bother him that much; he could always run back, his tiger giving him the speed to cross the distance in no time.

But right now, he just wanted to find a nice quiet spot, preferably by the sea, to enjoy his soft Sakura-shaped pink thingy that contained so much sugar he probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anyway.

His mind was so busy thinking about devouring said sweet that he didn’t notice a person leaving the bar right in front of him.

“Watch out!”

His plastic bag fell on the floor as he reached for the falling person he had just bumped into. The impact wasn’t that serious, he barely touched them, but the person wobbled on their feet dangerously, leaning way too fast on their right. They were clearly drunk, not much holding them upright.

But Atsushi was there to catch them.

“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t see you there, are you …”

“Shut up, weretiger.”

Atsushi froze on the spot. There weren’t that many people who called him that. In fact, there was only one.

“… Akutagawa?”

The death glare he received would have been much more effective if the mafioso didn’t lean on him as if his life depended on it. Atsushi absentmindedly noted how light the man was, despite being a little taller than him.

“Oh, perfect. It is you.”

Why did you call me that if you didn’t know it was me? Atsushi thought, but didn’t feel like talking logistics.

The smart thing would be to walk away, his brain told him. His silly little heart, however, …

“Do you need help?”

“Do I look like I need help?”

Akutagawa violently tore away from Atsushi’s body to prove his point and immediately started to fall backwards.

“Sorry, but …” Atsushi grabbed his arm, pulling him upright once again, looking behind him while he did so. “… is there anyone with you?”

The man didn’t seem to notice he was leaning on his ‘enemy’ once again.

“I don’t need anyone, weretiger. Least of all …” He raised his head to bark at him some more and very clearly realized that he was way closer to Atsushi’s face than he thought, his eyes widening at the sight. “… you.”

His breath tickled Atsushi’s skin and the detective made another mental note how it didn’t really bother him at all. He smelled of liquor, but it wasn’t that off-putting.

“Yeah, okay. Want to sit down for a minute?”

Akutagawa just stared at him. It was hard to tell if he heard him at all.

“Akutagawa?”

“Are you being nice to me?”

Huh?

“I’m just asking if you want to sit down with me for a moment, I have snacks and …” Was he rambling? Why did that question make him kind of nervous? “I don’t know if that’s nice, I’m just … you’re not looking very clear-headed, is all.” He smiled at him, hoping Akutagawa was too drunk to register the slight tremor in his voice.

“Why would you make that your problem.”

Well. His (sometimes) partner was alone and unable to function properly; what did he expect him to do, kick him when he was down?

“You’re not a problem,” he said with a much more confident smile as he was picking up his fallen groceries. “Come on, stop complaining. We’re sitting down.”

He gently tugged Akutagawa by his sleeve; he felt no resistance, so he slowly led them across the street to find a bench at the nearby park. He could just offer to call him a taxi, but he had a feeling he might fall and hit his head at any minute, so he decided this was the best course of action.

“Where are you taking me?” It sounded more curious than accusing, and that made Atsushi happy; their relationship couldn’t exactly be called friendly at that point, but they did save the world together a few months ago. Just the two of them. Because they didn’t need anyone else.

(Mental note number three: he felt a stir in his chest as he thought back on that.)

“That bench over there, see, it’s near,” he replied, almost whispering for some reason.

“I don’t want that bench. I want that one, it’s nicer.”

He pointed towards one that was further than the first, but it did overlook the sea, so Atsushi led them there without complaint.

“Do you need to lay down for a moment?” he asked as he sat down and started rummaging through the bag, looking for his tea.

“No,” Akutagawa said decisively as he plopped down on the wooden bench next to him. A second after that, his eyes slowly crossed. “No, yes.”

“You want some … oh.”

He had just unscrewed the cap of his drink and was about to take a sip as a weight pressed against him.

“A-Akutagawa?”

The Port Mafia’s hellhound … was laying his head on his lap.

He stared at his face, taken aback. Akutagawa’s eyes were closed, and he looked completely at ease. On his enemy’s lap.

I might have fallen asleep after all.

He thought about doing something about the predicament, but it all involved moving Akutagawa, and he was a little scared of doing that; if he was fast asleep, he might react violently. He wouldn’t put him past that.

“Akutagawa.”

No answer.

…

Oh, well. He decided he probably wasn’t even going to remember it in the morning, so why not enyj… just let him?

Atsushi grabbed his bag once again, taking out his after-midnight snack. He didn’t picture his night turning out like this, but he might as well make the most of it.

One meal and two snacks later, Akutagawa cracked open one of his eyes.

“What are you eating? It smells … rancid.”

Atsushi looked down from devouring his third Sakura shaped treat, surprised.

“Morning.” Should he say something about him moving? “You want some?”

Akutagawa inspected the sweet like it had offended him.

“What is it.”

“Don’t know.” He wasn’t lying. It looked good and it felt even better in his mouth, but it was hard to describe. “It tastes … pink.”

The man below him huffed, a strange sound that could count as a beginning of a laugh. Did I just make Akutagawa laugh? Has that ever happened before?

While he thought about it, strangely proud of himself, Akutagawa got up on his elbows and then slowly faced him, kneeling on the bench, supporting himself by gripping Atsushi’s shoulder with one arm.

“Okay.” He said it in such a serious tone the weretiger didn’t have a clue what he was referring to.

“Okay …?”

“I’ll try it.” He pointed towards the pink.

Atsushi smiled apologetically.

“It’s the last one, sorry, I already ate the other two, but I could run to the ...”

He wandered off after that, because Akutagawa had both his hands on Atsushi’s thigh, and he was leaning down, taking a small bite out of his half-eaten bun. He even bit the exact spot where you could clearly see the marks of Atsushi’s canines, he didn’t even try to get a clean bite.

Atsushi felt it would be best if he stopped taking the strange mental notes connected to Akutagawa. This last one made him … uncomfortable, but not in an entirely unpleasant way, and he really didn’t want to think about it for too long while observing his once enemy biting down into the treat he held right above his lap.

Akutagawa made a face.

“Rancid.”

“Here, you can wash it down with this,” Atsushi quickly offered his tea, his throat also feeling a little dry. “It’s unsweetened.” The mafioso took the tea his ADA partner obviously had already drank from and had a large sip. “I’m afraid I bought only extra sweet stuff, and I already ate the soba. Want me to go grab you something?”

Akutagawa finished his tea, looking at him with his head tilted to the side, one eye closed, the other half-lidded.

Cute.

“Don’t be such a fool. Just go home, will you. I’m fine.” He didn’t look fine, but he didn’t want to say that.

“Can I call someone? A taxi, or …”

“Weretiger.” Another half-lidded stare. “Your service is appreciated. You can go now.”

… this was all he needed, right? Then why couldn’t he just …

“I … I don’t mind staying a little longer. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

Akutagawa stared at him for a second longer before he sighed and laid back down on the bench, crossing his legs over Atsushi’s poor lap.

Don’t. No more mental notes. Stop.

“What guilt-connected nightmare are you having this time around,” the mafioso wondered, sounding bored, but maybe secretly invested. He also didn’t sound as drunk anymore, his eyes clearing or maybe it was just the moon reflecting in them.

“Hey,” Atsushi chuckled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s not a nightmare, I just … I don’t know.” He put his hand next to Akutagawa’s leg, his thumb brushing up against it. “A lot has happened … a lot to process, about … everything. It likes to eat into the night, when it’s quiet and I’m alone.”

A moment of silence.

“Have you tried drinking.”

The smile was more genuine this time around.

“Doesn’t sound like a very good idea.”

Akutagawa fell quiet, looking up at the sky, pondering gods know what. Atsushi stole glances at him, obviously gathering the courage to ask him something else.

“And … are you doing … well?”

He waited for the answer for a long time, almost giving up on it in the process.

“I think so.” Hm.

“Your cough is gone,” he tried prodding; when will he get another opportunity like this?

“It would seem so, yes.”

…

“… but you’re … cured, right?” He tried to say it in a calm way, his fingers curling around Akutagawa’s trousers. “It went away, the lung … after you, and the curse …” Both his words and thoughts trailed into nothing. Was he taking it too far? He just really wanted to know, and it’s not like he could just pick up the phone and call the Port Mafia’s information desk, asking Is Akutagawa Ryuunosuke still dying?

Akutagawa got up, staring at him with his usual scowl that somehow didn’t look as menacing as it used to.

“Yes, weretiger. I’m fine. The vampirism dealt with it. Now stop looking at me like that.”

The white-haired boy couldn’t help but smile at his scowl.

“Hey, I’m just … glad.” Okay, now say something cool, this got way too soppy for Akutagawa. “Wouldn’t want to miss out on our upcoming match, now would I.” Why. Why did I say that.

“What.”

Akutagawa’s blank expression made him nervously chuckle. Just. Why.

“Uh … you know. Our match. To the d… that one?” The mafioso looked like he remembered. He crossed his arms and gave him another one of his angry looks. “I-It’s not like I’m looking forward to it, I just … you know. It’s nice to know you’ll be there for it.”

What a weird thing to say.

Akutagawa seemed to agree.

“Idiot.” He leaned in close, probably so Atsushi could hear him better and not get the wrong idea. “The match is off.”

“Huh? Why?”

He didn’t want to complain, he really didn’t. He had an inkling it was going to happen, judging by how unserious Dazai-san took it, but it still felt nice to hear it from the man himself.

“We killed Amenogozen. Killed, weretiger. We did it together. I didn’t hold up to my part of the deal.”

“Right.” He could insist that that one didn’t really count since it was literally the world at stake … but … it made sense. A pang of disappointment soured his victory. “So, you’re back to … nevermind.”

“I didn’t kill anyone else.”

His chest swelled with pride.

“… Why?”

“Didn’t feel like it. And I told you to stop looking at me like that.”

Atsushi looked away, feeling a little embarrassed, but overall happy. This was all good news, almost overwhelmingly good. It was getting colder, but he felt like he was all warmed up.

Akutagawa then groaned and shifted again, dragging himself closer; he was now almost sitting on Atsushi’s lap.

“I’m cold.”

He wasn’t looking at Atsushi; he was staring into nothing, as if sending this thought into the ether, hoping some deity would somehow hear him and send him a sweater.

Wait.

“Here, I can give you mine. It’s clean.”

Atsushi quickly removed his hoodie and pushed it towards Akutagawa; it was cold, but nothing he and his tiger couldn’t handle.

As soon as Akutagawa’s eyes managed to focus on the hoodie, he zeroed in on the bunny ears. The detective was convinced there was no way he would wear it now (it was a small chance that he would wear it to begin with), but Akutagawa tilted his head once again and then reached out to stroke the appendages.

“Kyouka?” he said in a strangely calm voice.

“Yes. She’s really into sowing lately.” Akutagawa lips quirked slightly upwards, which the detective took as a sign he could continue. “Her favorite pastime is sowing bunny ears on everyone’s hoodies, whether they want them or not … well, she did cat ears for the President. Guess he’s special.”

The mafioso gently took the hoodie from the weretigers hands and carefully pushed his hands and head through it without complaint.

Atsushi did his best not to laugh when he looked at him after he put it on.

“Here, just …”

He grabbed the bunny ear that was leaning over Akutagawa’s face and pushed it backwards. This … was probably a mistake. He was way too close now, leaning into Akutagawa’s personal space like he was when he crashed into him while exiting the bar.

He didn’t feel like moving, though. Maybe he was colder than he originally thought, and he liked the closeness of another body. Whatever the case, he didn’t hate it.

Akutagawa was staring at him, not moving either. His gaze then slowly drifted from the weretigers eyes, lower.

Is he … looking at my mouth? Is there something on my mouth, did I eat too fast, do I have crumbs on my face?

He covered his lips, hoping to get whatever was there out of the way, while Akutagawa simultaneously stood up, wobbling on his feet while he struggled to stay upright.

“I should go home now.”

He made another two steps before Atsushi had to get up to catch him again; this was progress compared to an hour ago, but there was no way he would let him crawl to wherever the mafioso lived.

Atsushi sighed, helping his partner sit down again; he had to be careful about how he was going to phrase this.

“I … know you don’t need help, but … I’d like to. If you want to put up with me for a little longer.”

Akutagawa didn’t give any sign that he had heard him. He kept gripping Atsushi’s arm like he was still standing and trying not to sit on the ground, not a cohesive thought in his mind.

Wait, is he getting worse? Did he drink something else while I wasn’t looking?

I was always looking … hey, not in a weird way. Okay?

The dark-haired man then looked him in the eye with a serious expression like he was going to tell him some dark secret.

“I don’t think I can walk.”

Well, no shit, Sherlock. Did he just figure this out?

“Want to wait a little longer? It’s getting really cold …”

Akutagawa made a weird face, like he had just said something wrong; was there a right answer to his predicament? Did he want him to call a taxi, call a friend, did he want him to …

“I could just carry you.”

He said it in a tongue in cheek kind of way, looking at him side-ways with a smile; obviously, he was joking, trying to underline he wasn’t exactly leaving him many options to get him home, and that he should just …

“You do make a fine steed.”

Well. No humor detected there. He said it completely seriously.

“I live over there.” Akutagawa vaguely pointed towards the buildings behind them, which could either mean he lived close enough or on the other side of the town. “Come on. I don’t have all night.” He stood up on the bench (without wobbling once, wonder what happened to that) and gestured for the weretiger to get in front of him, deciding this was really what they were doing.

Uh.

Well … It was the middle of the night. One was sleep deprived, the other drunk or getting to the hungover stage, both were freezing. They were both trying to heal their many psychological wounds best they could, and honestly, was it even that weird they had just bonded a little?

“Round two it is.”

His arms enveloped him into a strong grip, his body pressed against his back, his legs circled around his waist, and he took them into his arms. He weighed nothing at all; Atsushi didn’t even need to call on some of his tiger’s power to help carry the load. That made him feel strangely protective of the man; he knew he was nowhere near being frail, but … he still wanted to shield him somehow. He had him literally on him, so that made him feel pretty good about himself.

Akutagawa had just finished giving him very vague directions when his phone rang. The mafioso reached into his pocket and answered with a short What.

“Oi, diablo, where did you go?”

Loud music could be heard at the other side of the call. Atsushi didn’t mean to pry, but it was right there, next to his ear and he could hear it all.

“Hello, Chuuya-san. I went out.”

“Why? Come back, Higuchi’s been looking for you!”

Akutagawa nudged Atsushi into his ribs like a goddamned horse, giving him a sign he shouldn’t just stand there, but move. The weretiger sighed and headed north, hoping the vague directions the drunkard gave him were right enough.

“Tell her that my whereabouts are none of her business.”

“That’s not nice, Akutagawa! Are you coming back in or not!?”

“No. I’m going home.”

“Are you alright? You could barely stand up straight, I was surprised you made it out the door.”

Atsushi giggled and earned himself another poke in the ribs.

“Speak for yourself.”

“C’mon, man, don’t be like that, do you need me to call anyone?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? I’m fine.”

A pause.

“… oh. Did you pick someone up at the club?”

“… what.”

The weretiger bit his lip so he wouldn’t laugh again.

“Well good for you, kiddo! I guess I’ll leave you to it, and I won’t tell Higuchi just in case, okay? Oh, and remember to always use protect–”

Click.

Atsushi immediately dissolved into giggles.

“Stop that.”

He only laughed harder, expecting another vicious poke in the sensitive flesh, but Akutagawa covered his mouth with his hands instead; it did shock the weretiger for a second, but he soon regained the upper hand.

“Did … did you just lick me.”

“… yes.”

“… idiot.”

Akutagawa let his hands fall against Atsushi’s chest, nesting his head in the crook of his neck. His breath tickled Atsushi’s skin as he sighed deeply, seemingly admitting defeat.

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to deal with you properly.”

“Rashomon not a fan of alcohol?”

“Hm.”

They fell into a comfortable silence after that; Akutagawa seemed to have fallen asleep, snuggly tucked away on Atsushi’s shoulder, while the other couldn’t stop smiling for some unexplainable reason.

I just … kind of hoped we could be … well, at least amicable.

This felt very amicable. He ate his food, wore his hoodie, asked for a piggyback. You didn’t do those things with your enemies, right? No matter how intoxicated …

After a while he heard a grumble, hot breath seeping through the thin fabric of his t-shirt and reaching his cold skin. For some reason, the warmth made him shiver.

“What?”

“Hmfmfm.”

“… you’re talking into my back, I really can’t hear you.”

Akutagawa unburied his face from the back of his neck, breathing in deeply.

“This is me.” He pointed towards a fancy apartment complex building they’ve just passed. Atsushi quickly made a few steps backwards and loosened his grip on Akutagawa’s thighs.

“… what are you doing.”

Well, they were right in front of the lobby, and he was fairly certain his partner could make it to the elevator alone.

“Uh. You need me to carry you inside?”

The next few seconds of silence made Atsushi think he might’ve messed something up, but he couldn’t quite tell what. Before he could dwell on that any longer, Akutagawa slowly let go of him, stepping back on the floor, his feet surely planted on the ground. Atsushi turned around and tried his best not to smile from ear to ear; one of the bunny ears was once again leaning on Akutagawa’s face, his flushed face, and he was holding his arm with his hand, looking embarrassed, as if he just realized what had been happening for the last hour or so.

“… thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He just stood there like a fool, waiting for him to get inside. Was Akutagawa waiting for him to say something else?

“You … can call me up if you ever need a ride like this again.”

Akutagawa nodded at that, the other bunny ear also falling forward, directly on his face.

“Good night, weretiger.”

“Good night, Akutagawa.”

He felt so tired walking back to his apartment, barely resisting the temptation to just slouch on a random bench, close his eyes and let the sleep take him. The only thing preventing him from doing that was the cold; he didn’t have his hoodie on him. Akutagawa seemed to have totally forgotten he was wearing it, and Atsushi also didn’t ask him to return it. It just didn’t feel right, taking it back … he’ll have to explain it to Kyouka-chan tomorrow, though. Hopefully she wasn’t going to be mad.

But seeing Akutagawa clumsily turn around, with his bunny ears on his back swaying back and forth as he was entering the elevator …

Worth it.

Chapter Text

I should ask Yosano-san about a tiger tranquilizer, that would probably do it.

Wait, no, she’s not a veterinarian.

…

I’m so tired.

Atsushi stopped in the middle of the crosswalk on an empty street and looked around, trying to remember where he was going. He couldn’t recall and it probably didn’t even matter, so he just sat down on the concrete floor on the side of the road.

There hasn’t been much improvement with his sleeping habits lately. He even fell asleep behind his office desk the other day and what made it worse was that Kunikida-san didn’t even yell at him when he finally woke up; it was clear everyone was so worried about him they just let him sleep. That made him feel really loved, and that of course turned to guilt, but he really tried to focus on the love, because what else could he do?

He looked up at the starless night, happy about the darkness; at least he didn’t start to immediately count the stars in a stupid hope it would make him sleep from boredom. It never worked, the counting.

Am I ever sleeping again?

Okay, enough. He had to throw a positive thought in there somewhere. Let’s see … he was alive, he had friends, he had a job, he had legs, he … wait, what was he thinking about again?

“Am I going insane?”

Oh, great. He was talking to himself now, too.

He was about to talk to himself some more when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. That made him let out a sigh of relief; finally, a worthy distraction! The caller was unknown, but whatever, he would take anything at that point, they could try to sell him a vacuum cleaner for all he cared …

“Hello?”

The second of silence seemed to stretch for a small eternity.

“Not sleeping yet, weretiger?”

His brain scrambled to make sure he was awake and not hallucinating.

“… Akutagawa?”

“What.”

This was him alright.

“Uh. Hi.”

“Hello.”

…

“You said I could I call.”

He said it accusingly, which made Atsushi stutter when he tried to deny it in a hurry. He never once entertained the idea that Akutagawa would actually call him; he was certain he woke up the next day after he brought him home drunk and felt so mortified he deleted his phone number immediately.

“Y-Yes, of course, I didn’t mean to … I’m happy … I mean. Hi.”

Fuck.

Shit, I never swear.

“Hi.”

Atsushi chuckled, feeling so stupid it seemed like the only reasonable thing to do.

“Are you at the bar again?” Need a ride?

“… no. I’m home.”

“… okay.” Atsushi hugged his knees, making himself a little more comfortable on the ground. This was a little awkward, the pauses dragging, but it wasn’t … unpleasant. It was true he had nothing better to do, but he also wanted to talk to Akutagawa. “What’s up.” He said it so softly he felt a little embarrassed about it.

Akutagawa was apparently embarrassed too, because he didn’t answer for almost a minute. The only sign he didn’t hang up on him was his breathing, perceptible only with the help of Atsushi’s tiger.

“I can’t sleep,” he finally said, slowly.

Silence.

Was he nervous, shy, maybe both? He was not used to Akutagawa being … well, maybe because he didn’t know Akutagawa that well at all outside of battle. They somehow knew each other’s deepest secrets, but he didn’t know which movies he liked, or if he enjoyed music, or how he acted in situations like these.

The weretiger had a sudden urge to know more about the man. Starting with what the hell was bothering him so badly that he had called him of all people.

Maybe something only he could understand.

“Had a nightmare?”

He started pulling the loose string on his shirt, distracting himself from the fear Akutagawa might get fed up with him at any second and hang up on him without a warning.

“… yes.”

He understood it, but it’s not like he could give good advice on it, right? He still got them, still had dreams about his caretaker … he was useless, but he still hoped he could help by listening. And asking questions.

“You get them a lot?”

“Yes.” He sounded a bit distant, but not disconnected; that meant he still wanted to talk to him, right?

Why do I even want this. Am I this lonely? Or is it him?

“What is it about. The nightmare.”

“… dying.”

He didn’t even want to think about that; just having it in his brain felt wrong, like speaking about the unspeakable, touching something that shouldn’t be tainted by something so unworthy.

“I’m sorry.”

…

A group of drunk teenagers passed him, startling him; he was probably too tired, and his hearing was so focused on Akutagawa’s breathing he didn’t notice them until they were right in front of him.

I should go home. Someone could attack me like this, and I would probably just snore at them.

“Where are you?” Akutagawa must’ve heard the kids laughing, too.

“Out. Was about to go grab something to eat.” Oh, that’s right. He … was sitting on the side of the road right in front of a convenience store.

He slowly stood up, stretching his limbs, deciding he should go through with his original plan. They stopped selling those Sakura treats, but now they had these blue ones with an unidentifiable fruit flavor, and he was looking forward to giving them try. 

“That rancid stuff from last time?”

“… and some other stuff,” he said defensively, a little embarrassed. He was, in fact, not thinking about buying anything else.

“Are you near.”

Atsushi paused mid-stretch.

Huh.

What exactly did he mean by that? Near what?

His eyes slowly widened at the realization.

Atsushi’s legs started feeling like jelly, so he slowly sat back on the ground, forgetting about the convenience store once again. He took a breath, closed his eyes and quickly questioned all his life choices.

“Near enough.” He was about to enter his usual convenience store right next to the ADA dorms; he could see the apartment building’s courtyard if he craned his neck a little.

Atsushi’s heart started to beat a little faster, but he didn’t feel too flustered about it, because Akutagawa seemed to have been holding his breath while he waited for the answer.

“That tea from last time was pretty good.”

Is this really going where I think it is?

“I can pick it up for you,” Atsushi offered, grabbing at the loose string again, snapping it the process.

“… can I come with you.”

Atsushi realized he was now holding his breath, too. He hoped Akutagawa’s vampire senses weren’t as good as the tiger ones in the hearing department.

“Yeah.” Was that too eager? Did he say it too fast? “Just give me fifteen minutes. Where do you want to …”

“I’ll be in the lobby.”

“Okay.” He stood up, waking up his stupid legs, preparing them for the run. “See you soon.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

After Akutagawa hung up, Atsushi took a minute to just stare at the dark sky, feeling content. He was alive, he had friends, he had a job, and he had legs that he really should start using any second now; Akutagawa didn’t strike him as a person who tolerated tardiness.

*

His heart was beating so loudly he was convinced both Akutagawa and the receptionist could hear it, and it didn’t have anything to do with him sprinting across the city.

Akutagawa’s hair was tussled as if he just got out of bed, the bags under his eyes prominent (yet not that off-putting). He was wearing a dark grey hoodie with matching oversized pants and some flip-flops, and the whole image made Atsushi feel … weird. It was just so casual, so homey, so … everything he never connected Akutagawa to. It was like he was meeting another person, another Akutagawa. He didn’t mind it, he just … felt nervous.

“Ready?” he managed to ask, smiling at him awkwardly.

Akutagawa just nodded and walked right past him as if they’d met in public by chance and decided to be cordial about it. Atsushi didn’t mind it at all; he honestly found it endearing. For some reason.

And then they were on the street. In the open, together, almost lucid this time. It was in the middle of the night with no one else around, but Atsushi felt like their interaction was being broadcast to the world. Nakajima Atsushi and Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, the infamous duo who literally saved the world walked side by side to get egg sandwiches together.

He quietly chuckled at that.

“What.”

“Oh, sorry. I just … we look kind of funny, don’t you think.”

“How,” Akutagawa demanded to know, crossing his arms.

I really don’t want to make him mad.

“I’m not sure about you, but I’m wearing my pajamas. And I look like shit; I can’t remember the last time I slept through the whole night.”

The mafioso looked at him sideways, probably inspecting his worn-out tracksuit and his permanently messy hair.

“You do look like shit.”

Atsushi feigned being offended, stopping in his tracks as Akutagawa walked ahead.

“Okay, I was trying to be nice, but you look like shit, too.” He quickly caught up to Akutagawa and showed him his tongue, feeling playful all of a sudden. Maybe he didn’t have to worry about making him mad; maybe that was the fun part.

“Rude,” but he was smiling as he said that. He then sighed wistfully. “Regenerations doesn’t work on sleep-deprivation, it would seem.”

“Yeah, too bad … I can’t complain though. I got my leg back, after all.”

“Three times.”

The weretiger looked confused.

“Three? Really?”

“Fukuchi cut it off once. I did it twice,” Akutagawa explained as if he was describing the weather, no remorse in his voice whatsoever. “So, you got your leg back three times.”

“See now that is rude.” They both looked on the opposite side, hiding their smiles from each other as if they were secrets. “… you remember the third time?”

He shrugged, trying to appear unbothered, but Atsushi caught a wrinkle worrying his forehead.

“Bits and pieces. You were such a pain in the ass I remember you the most.”

“Well, I’m flattered.” They’d already found a convenience store; it wasn’t the same one Atsushi stopped at the last time, but it was from the same chain, so he really hoped they had the brand of tea Akutagawa was talking about; though he had a feeling this wasn’t all for that tea. “After you,” he jokingly said as he bowed slightly, inviting the mafioso in.

They both beelined to the refrigerated area; Atsushi’s stomach growled, demanding something more filling than sugar since he ran so much, and he gladly obeyed. They browsed the section for a bit, occasionally inspecting something closer.

Akutagawa reached for an onigiri, and Atsushi couldn’t help but have questions.

“So, how does that work exactly? You obviously eat food, like, normal food.”

Akutagawa put the onigiri in his shopping cart, and something about that image made Atsushi pause. He was holding the cart in his crossed hands, and it looked so normal, and Atsushi seriously struggled to put the two Akutagawa’s he knew together.

“You mean the blood-drinking.”

“Right.” He quickly went back to inspect the food, moving onto drinks. “Do you have to drink it?”

Akutagawa seemed to think about it for a second. It was a fairly recent development; he probably didn’t have all the knowledge nailed down yet.

“I think so, yes. But not that often.”

“Does it taste good?”

“… very.”

The weretiger caught sight of his currently favorite treat.

“Better than this?”

He waved the blue marshmallow-looking thing in front of Akutagawa’s face, and his nose immediately scrunched up.

“Don’t put that trash in my face, I can smell it through the packaging.”

 “Vampire senses, huh?”

“Just common senses, weretiger.”

Atsushi giggled and then sneaked a look into Akutagawa’s cart. Salad with walnuts, plum onigiri, protein bar and isotonic water. He fearfully looked over to his own; fried chicken, noodle sandwich, a box of chocolates he didn’t particularly enjoy but they were in the discounted section, and three of those blue marshmallows.

“… okay, I see it now,” he said dejectedly. Akutagawa peeked into his cart too and covered his nose as he did so.

“Don’t stress it, weretiger. I don’t think you’ll live long enough for it to catch up to you anyway.”

He nonchalantly walked away, leaving a distressed weretiger behind.

“Dude.”

Akutagawa waved his hand dismissively as if to say, ‘you know it’s true’, and then stopped in front of the candy section.

“I’m sure there’s something sweet we both like, though,” Atsushi decided to let go of the slightly threatening moment. “Ooh, these ones! There’s no denying these are good, right?” He picked some chocolate mushrooms; he used to dream to eat those when he was in the orphanage.

Akutagawa gave him an exasperated look.

“I never said I didn’t like candy. I just said I think your taste is questionable.” He reached out to pick something out, and Atsushi realized he liked that candy too. Well, he liked them all.

They were waiting in line for some partygoers to finish paying, when Akutagawa reached into Atsushi’s cart, taking out his matcha biscuits.

“I already took these ones, we can share.” He returned the biscuits to their place, and Atsushi didn’t have the guts to stop him by saying ‘I can easily eat both’, because something about him caring at all felt … endearing. A weird feeling twisted Atsushi’s stomach.

They paid and left the store, Atsushi already rummaging through his bag to start eating. He stopped when he noticed Akutagawa’s judgmental stare. Sure, I can wait.

“Want to go to the same spot again?” Their bench was right around the corner, but Akutagawa shook his head decidedly.

“Higuchi kept inviting me to that bar again today, so let’s not go near there, no.”

Atsushi grinned knowingly, and Akutagawa pointedly ignored him. They made their way towards the sea, but in the other direction, stopping under an overpass, sitting on the stairs that led into the water.

The weretiger inhaled the food he bought in the first five or so minutes and then kept stealing Akutagawa’s. The mafioso ate slowly and often had to smack the weretigers hand when he was reaching for things he had not yet even tried.

They were down to the last pack of biscuits when Atsushi felt his eyes closing. He would be extremely happy about that if he wasn’t enjoying himself so much. He didn’t want to sleep now.  He still hasn’t found out the reason they were doing all of this. Not that he needed it, but he wanted to make sure he was … as okay as he could be.

They both fell silent, nibbling on the sweets and watching the water flow towards the ocean. It felt like a good moment to ask.

“… and how are you doing. You know. In general.”

A sigh.

“Is this about the nightmares.”

Well, excuse me for being worried. But he didn’t want to be funny right now.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it. We can talk about anything. Or just eat.”

Akutagawa showed him the empty packaging; they’d somehow managed to destroy everything they’d bought. He then busied himself with tidying the mess they’d made, even sorting the plastic and paper into two different bags. Is he stalling?

“There’s not much to it,” he finally said, putting the trash on the side. “I dream of things that happened to me. I wake up. Stare at the ceiling until dawn.”

Atsushi hugged his knees, staring into the distance.

“I don’t even get to that part … my brain decided it’s best for us if we just never fall asleep again.”

“I knew I could count on you being more pathetic than I am.”

They looked at each other and smiled, Akutagawa turning away faster than Atsushi.

“Glad I helped.” He truly meant it. “Is that why you called?” He would’ve been happy if that were the case, but something in his stomach demanded further validation. Couldn’t have been just that. Right?

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Akutagawa raised one of his legs, leaning on it, looking a little cooler than Atsushi hugging both his legs. “Why did you come.”

“… I was hoping I could get my hoodie back.”

He expected him to laugh, but instead Akutagawa made a face. He looked … guilty. The detective was about to say it was okay and he had nothing to worry about, but this intrigued him, so he waited.

“… there has been a slight hiccup in my original plan to return it.” It was clear it was physically painful for him to say that. He was holding his hand in front of his lips like he was going to cough, but since he was cured, that was probably more of a reflex. To hide himself?

Atsushi tilted his head, invested.

“Do tell.”

He cleared his throat and tore away his hand from his face, as if he was convincing himself he was calm.

“I washed it. I was going to send it to the agency. I put it on the table, and then Gin, my sister, came to visit. I often get her clothes because she spends so much time on missions. She thought it was a gift, and I ...”

“Panicked?”

“… yes. Panicked.” He cleared his throat again and crossed his arms, looking a little more composed than a second ago. “I can provide compensation.”

It was a cheap hoodie, the only valuable part were the bunny ears, but Kyouka-chan was already making him another one, so …

“You could’ve paid for the groceries, you know.”

Akutagawa nodded solemnly.

“… next time.”

Atsushi hugged his knees a little tighter, mimicking the feeling that was squeezing his chest. So, the feeling was mutual, they both felt like this is something they could do again, no big deal, right?

Time to say something funny, this is too much.

“Well, Kyouka-chan barely believes me I lent it to you. I don’t think she’ll accept the update so easily, she’ll just think I’m trying too hard,” he decided on a fun anecdote that has become sort of a running joke between the two siblings in the last few weeks.

“Why does she not believe you?” Akutagawa asked carefully.

“I told her I gave it to you back then because you were cold; she said it’s not possible for you to get cold because of Rashomon. That you just wrap yourself with in it and … Akutagawa?”

The reaction was even worse than before; Akutagawa was covering himself with his hand again, and a lovely blush was spreading all over his face as he stared to the ground.

“Are you–”

“I was drunk, okay,” he finally managed to croak out.

“Wait, did you … forget?” This was too much for Akutagawa; he hid his whole face in his hands, groaning quietly. “Or it doesn’t respond that well if you’re wasted?”

He suddenly got up, climbing over the stairs, turning just slightly to address him.

“I should go home now.”

“Wait!” Atsushi scrambled after him, not forgetting to pick up their trash on the way. Akutagawa was walking so fast he had to really pick up his pace. “Can I walk you home?”

The mafioso stopped in his tracks, and Atsushi noticed even the tips of his ears were now red.

Adorable.

“If you promise not to mention it again.”

Atsushi agreed and finally matched their paces, deciding it was best not to question Akutagawa further.

The walk was short, and they didn’t talk much; the weretiger’s eyes kept closing themselves, something that hadn’t happened in a while, he truly felt like he would fall asleep immediately if he laid down somewhere. Akutagawa didn’t seem to be faring any better; he kept yawning, which Atsushi noticed only because he politely turned away every time he did it.

He was so sleepy and comfortable in his presence that he didn’t notice he walked right into the elevator with him.

What. The.

“Shit. Did I go too far? I swear I’m not inviting myself over, I just …”

He looked over at Akutagawa in a panic, but he just stared back with a half-lidded stare, looking ready to pass out too.

“It’s fine, weretiger.”

The elevator stopped on the top floor, and Atsushi walked with Akutagawa right to his door on the end of the hallway.   

Don’t make this awkward. Well, more awkward. Just go.

Akutagawa leaned on the door, his arms crossed. Atsushi smiled, deciding this is where the parted ways; he had a long road ahead of him back to the dorms.

“Well, goodnight, Akutagawa.”

The man looked like he wanted to say something else but ultimately couldn’t quite manage. He then seemingly gave up, sighed and gave him a nod.

“Night, Nakajima.”

As Atsushi stumbled on the slowly waking streets of Yokohama, he vaguely recalled Akutagawa not calling him weretiger for the first time since they’ve known each other. But he couldn’t tell for sure if he was hallucinating or not, so he decided he should just ask him about that. Next time.

Chapter Text

Atsushi was lounging on the couch in a rather uncomfortable looking way; one leg draped over the back of the couch, twisting at a weird angle at the knee, the other trapped underneath his convoluted and strangely elongated body. His head was hanging upside down, but despite his neck being at an almost ninety-degree angle and leaning on the left to make matters worse, Atsushi didn’t look like he was planning on moving.

He looked much like a cat.

A cat that learned how to use a phone.

He was typing and then deleting a message over and over again, his tongue sticking out to help him concentrate better, the only source of light in the room shining directly into his face.

He reread the last thing he wrote, sighed and started clicking the backwards button yet again.

He’s been at this for some time now.

“Oh, shit.”

Three dots appeared, indicating the person he was trying to message was now typing back, aka the worst-case scenario. He quickly straightened when he noticed, somehow feeling maybe this would make it less embarrassing, wincing as the blood rushed into his head.

He squinted at the message.

R: For fucks sake weretiger. Just write what you want, will you.

The weretiger made a weird sound, something between a laugh and sigh, then slowly laid back on the couch, a smile on his face despite feeling busted.

A: Sorry

R: …

A: I was just wondering if you heard the news

Okay, not the way he was going to phrase this, but whatever, at least he managed to send it this time … no, wait, the message was honestly exactly the same as the first one he’s written and then deleted. Oops.

He massaged his neck, absent-mindedly wondering why it hurt so much.

R: What news, weretiger.

… well great, now he had doubts. Did he not know yet? Should he even be saying anything? It was very unlikely he was still being kept in the dark by the Port Mafia, he was pretty high on the food chain after all … so …

A: … not sure if I should be writing this

Ten painful seconds passed before the three dots reappeared.

R: You realize this now.

A: … sorry

Atsushi let the phone fall on his chest, covering his burning face with his arm. This was hard, okay? He was still processing, and even though Dazai-san kept saying it was completely fine and safe and … he just really wanted to talk it out with someone. Someone who was about to go through the same shit, someone he thought could understand.

It was his fault for trying, really. He should just stick to non-sleeping from now on.  

His phone vibrated with an upcoming call.

The detective glanced at the screen, eyes widening.

“Hello?”

“What news, weretiger.”

Atsushi fidgeted with his longer strand of hair, unsure if they should talk about it over the phone. But the contract was basically finalized, it shouldn’t be a big surprise to anyone who might’ve been listening.

He was also caught off guard because of the surprise call and couldn’t tell anything but the truth as a result.

“The ADA and Port Mafia agreement?” he said in a higher voice than he would’ve wanted.

“Yes, I’ve heard.”

“… you knew this entire time what I was talking about, right.”

Akutagawa huffed.

“I didn’t. You speak unclearly.”

“Right … sorry.”

He thought about simply thanking him and hanging up to avoid further embarrassment, but he just couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye. Akutagawa called him, this was the second time he did so. It meant something, right? That his thoughts and feelings maybe mattered a little? Or something?

Akutagawa sighed, sounding annoyed.

“What about it, weretiger.”

He forced himself to let go of his hair, worried he’ll tangle it up and snap it from the nerves. He wasn’t this nervous the last time they parted; it was rather amicable how they bantered. Or did he imagine it?

“I’m just worried, I guess.”

“That we’ll make you join the mafia?” That … was pretty close to his fear, yes. He opened his mouth to deny it, but Akutagawa was faster. “Idiot. We don’t need pussies like you.”

Atsushi let out a surprised laugh and at the same time remembered Kyouka-chan was sleeping close by. And Ranpo-san; the walls were very thin.

He muffled the sound with his hand and then let it fall back on his chest, feeling a tad more relaxed.

“I guess,” he finally confessed, “I’m still … no, you’re right, sorry. It’s fine,” he added uselessly.

It didn’t convince Akutagawa.

“Dazai explained to you, didn’t he,” he said in an impatient way, as if he was aggressively trying to make Atsushi feel better.

“… yes.”

“So, what’s the problem? You get a raise and see me about once a month, is that so bad?”

Oh, he sounded angry now. Atsushi once again felt the need to immediately deny it and overshared as a result.

“N-No, that’s the best part …” Did I really just say that? That he’s the best part? The best …

Well, he probably thinks it’s about the pay raise. Which is nice.

“It’s a peace treaty, Nakajima. Nothing will happen to you.”

He never thought he’d see the day when Akutagawa would so vehemently try and calm him down. In his signature aggressive way, but that was just how he was. Did he really want to work with him?

Atsushi curled into a fetal position, deciding Akutagawa deserved the full truth.

“I’m not worried about me.” He whispered it, even though the walls weren’t that thin. “I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Should he be telling this to Akutagawa of all people? The man who severed more limbs than Atsushi had bowls of chazuke? But at the same time, the possibility of him understanding … it made his insides flutter. It was almost pleasant.

“I won’t let you.”

Oh.

For some reason, this was the thing that finally made Atsushi pause, and he could feel his body relax the muscles he didn’t even realize he’d been straining. The man said it so reassuringly, so matter-of-factly he didn’t doubt him for a second; after all, Akutagawa kept his promises.

“Okay?”

…

“Okay.” They were both whispering now; he knew the mafioso lived in a place with much better isolated walls than his, so this made him unexplainably happy. “I really don’t have to kill anyone?” Are you sure?

“I told you; I won’t let you.”

“And I don’t have to work with anyone besides you?”

He heard a faint bump. Did Akutagawa facepalm himself?

“Aren’t I lucky,” he said in a strained voice, as if he just realized maybe, it wasn’t the best idea to convince Atsushi to work with him; he really was stuck with him now.

“Huh.” Atsushi laid on his back again, smiling at the ceiling. “Thanks, Akutagawa.”

Another one of their (mostly) comfortable silences followed. Atsushi reached for the blanket he brought with him from his closet and made himself cozy. He decided he would try and sleep there for tonight; he suddenly felt very tired and didn’t feel like going back to the bedroom. Plus, there was a chance Akutagawa wanted to keep talking.

“It’s past midnight.”

Atsushi was about to comment that bordered on ‘do you like bread’ type of question but then realized he must’ve meant something else.

“Right. Yosano-san prescribed me these pills, I’m usually asleep by now … I guess it’s an exception today. Because of … you know.” He stretched his long legs over the armrest, dangling them in the air. “What about you.”

“I’ll sleep now. Probably.” He didn’t sound that convinced, and Atsushi quietly chuckled.

“We should really get out shit together. We can’t both be falling asleep during a fight,” he playfully said and closed his eyes, feeling comforted and comfortable.

“Speak for yourself. I’ll be fine. I’ll just save us both, as usual.”

“Yeah, in your dreams.” Oh, his closed eyes wouldn’t budge any more. Did the pills finally take? “I fell asleep no problem after last time, you know. When we went to the convenience store … I slept for almost four hours. Would’ve been longer, but Dazai-san burst into my room, something about helping him with his suicide. I’ve never seen Kyouka-chan so mad, she smacked him on the head with her fan, it was so funny.” He snickered at the image, and then remembered a certain someone was in it, too. “Shit, sorry for mentioning Daz … sorry.”

“It’s fine. What happened then.” His voice was quiet, like he was speaking from a distance. Maybe he laid his head on a pillow and had his phone next to him.

“Nothing much. She shooed him away, and then we had an early lunch. Chazuke again, she knows it’s my comfort food, we actually ate it today too, wonder why … had some crepes together after that, I’m pretty sure I’m using that extra money for her tofu and sweets from now on.” He was such a blabbermouth sometimes. Akutagawa didn’t speak that much, and he easily made up for it. “Not that I mind.”

“Do you live with Kyouka?”

“Yeah. But it’s not weird, I swear, I sleep in the closet.”

…

“… you just made it weird.” Atsushi winced and smiled at the same time, even though Akutagawa couldn’t see him. “And the closet, really?”

“… I like it,” he countered, voice only a little pitched; he did like it, though he did wish he were alone sometimes when he thrashed around, unable to sleep. He didn’t want Kyouka-chan to lose even a second of her sleep because of him.

“Where are you now?”

“In the living room. I come here if I toss around too much.”

In the minute Akutagawa didn’t reply, Atsushi almost fell asleep, barely keeping his consciousness from slipping.

“I slept too. That night.”

The weretiger pinched himself in order to concentrate.

“No nightmares?” he managed to ask through a yawn.

“No. You probably filled my head with enough nonsense it malfunctioned.”

“I’m so useful, right,” he jokingly said, trying to push away the drowsiness, even though he would love to welcome it just ten minutes ago. Funny how that worked. “I should warn you I’m falling asleep as we speak … I don’t mind talking some more, but just so you know, in case I stop replying.”  

“Do talk some more, it’s working.”

…

“My nonsense is making you sleep?”

“Yeah.”

Atsushi bit his hand in an attempt not to laugh or alternatively fall asleep.

“So, we just keep the line going even if we fall asleep?”

“… yes. Or do you mind.”

Oh. Uh …

This was … acceptable. He wanted to sleep but not to hang up, so it made sense, right? For them to nap while their phones were still connected. Could I hear him breathing? That would be cool.

“It’s okay.” Good, he didn’t sound too excited but also not bothered. “You can say something if you get a nightmare.”

“And you please don’t say anything if you can’t sleep.”

That sounded about right.

“Sure.”

Akutagawa’s next words seemed to be coming from far away, both literally and metaphorically, like he was already half-asleep. He sounded uncharacteristically soft when he spoke next, and the image of two separate Akutagawa’s repeated in Atsushi’s tired mind.

“Not yet though. Tell me something else.”

So, he talked some more. Akutagawa occasionally responded or just hummed and eventually stopped replying altogether. His breathing was faint but perceptible, and it made Atsushi almost sorry when he drifted off just a couple minutes after the mafioso.

The last thing he thought of before he succumbed to sleep was the possibility of Kyouka-chan seeing the caller ID on the phone he put above his head on the armrest. She knew he had some type of relation with Akutagawa, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

Because having a long-distance sleepover with his once enemy wasn’t that weird. Okay.

*

Akutagawa was sitting with his arms crossed, looking apathic as always. The only time his façade crumbled was when he glanced at his brand new (made official that very morning) work partner; his eyes seemed to then shine a little bit, breaking up the dull look he usually wore.

Atsushi wasn’t looking back at him; he was leaning forward, head in his hands, giving the impression he was ready to jump.

They were about ten floors high, just chilling on the roof of an abandoned looking building, dangling their feet over the edge like it was a casual thing to do.

Atsushi’s clothes were all torn up and burned at a lot of places; parts of his pants were still glowing faintly like embers. He was covered in soot, and while Akutagawa also had some on his face, it was clear Atsushi took the brunt of it. If they didn’t look the way they did, they could’ve passed as a pair that sneaked to the top of the building to watch the sunset together in peace.

Somewhere behind them there was an explosion. The mafioso didn’t even flinch, while Atsushi sighed deeply, tilting even lower towards the abyss like he was ashamed of something and wanted to hide.  

It was probably safe to assume their first joint mission didn’t go as planned. At least judging by the stress rolling off the weretiger and the on-going explosions in the background.

Akutagawa spared him another glance, eyes lingering this time. Softening, even.

“Four times.”

Atsushi slowly opened his eyes. He was looking through the crack in his fingers, gazing at the empty street below. His eyes were rimmed with red; maybe it was from the fire, maybe from something else.

His partner’s words seemed to finally catch up to him.

“Huh?”

Akutagawa looked to the side, back to his aloof self. He stared at the Yokohama skyline and spoke like he wasn’t bothered with Atsushi’s distress.

“Your leg’s been cut off four times now.”

Atsushi eyes darted towards the faint line below his knee as if to make sure it really happened. He then looked at Akutagawa who was now avoiding his gaze.

A few moments passed, the gentle breeze ruffling their hair, putting out the lingering heat in Atsushi’s clothes. And then the weretiger leaned back on his hands and started laughing. It was hoarse and he needed to stop a few times to cough instead, but he laughed until his eyes were all watery. Akutagawa’s shoulders shook while his face remained under control, but Atsushi’s laugh was infectious; he couldn’t help but smile and eventually laugh a little, too.

“Fucking rude,” the weretiger swore and wiped at his tears, flinching as soot entered his eyes. He blinked at the sky, trying to get it out, smiling and coughing at the same time.

“Someone has to keep the count,” Akutagawa said innocently, covering his mouth with his hand.

The detective laughed some more, but it turned into a groan half-way through. He covered his face with his hands once more, remembering something bad again and then going straight back to wallowing in sorrow.

“You’re being really dramatic, you know,” Akutagawa commented, his patience running thin apparently.

“Dramatic? Am I?” His voice sounded almost hysterical as he pointed towards the smoke. “See that? We weren’t supposed to blow the fucking building up, you know.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

Atsushi deflated a bit, feeling sorry for lashing out like that.

“I’m not yelling at you …” he said softly, running his dirty hand through his dirty hair. “I’m just … mad at myself.”

“Then don’t be,” Akutagawa said as if was easy; it wasn’t even easy for him, why did he think it would work on the weretiger?

“… I messed up. I messed up badly,” Atsushi continued, a part of him hoping Akutagawa would agree, yell at him and maybe even hit him. At least that was familiar, the proper response to being this dumb and destructive … that’s how it was in his childhood, at least.

But Akutagawa wasn’t in on the secret plan.

“Why do you keep saying that? No one died. Get over it.”

It looked like Atsushi would have to nail himself in the coffin; he knew it wasn’t all that reasonable, but he couldn’t help it.

He leaned over the edge once again, his hair falling on his face.

“It’s like you said, Akutagawa; this is a peace treaty. What if I blow it up? What if I am solely responsible for ending this contract everyone worked so hard on? I don’t want to ruin it for others, and everyone at the office is treating me like some kind of hero, but I can’t go a day without blowing something up, and I can’t stop being useless and pathetic and …”

And then all his self-pitying thoughts dispersed like that smoke in the background eventually did.

He felt soothed, calmed, centered. Nothing like this has ever happened to him before, not so effectively and definitely not this quickly. One moment he was reeling from the stress, hurt and shame, and the next … he felt like purring, because yes, that was something he could do now. He discovered this about himself fairly recently; he was sitting on the couch with Kyouka-chan and Kenji-kun, watching a movie, eating snacks and listening to them argue about Kenji-kun’s hoodie because he wanted her to replace the bunny ears with cow ones. It was a lazy Sunday, Atsushi was warm, rested but comfortably sleepy, and he felt safe and content, and he just … let out a sound.

He has been fighting to hide this ability ever since.

A battle he was quickly losing with every stroke of Akutagawa’s deft fingers he had tangled in Atsushi’s hair. His eyes were closed from pleasure, and you couldn’t open them with a crowbar at that point. The final straw leading to his imminent defeat was when Akutagawa scratched the area behind his ears. He liked it so much he almost didn’t hear himself making the embarrassing noise. He leaned into his touch like an attention-starved cat, not caring about how it looked or what he was even worried about to begin with.

His eyes fluttered after a particularly good scratch, and the day’s last rays of sunshine peaked underneath Atsushi’s eyelids. In that moment, everything looked pink.

Chapter Text

“… and the safehouse, how is it?”

Atsushi looked around the room as if to double-check it was still as horrible as he remembered. He somehow envisioned a Port Mafia safehouse to be more modern, but no; everything creaked from how old it was and there was this constant draft he had no idea where it was coming from. Dust was everywhere; he even broke a damned chair by sneezing too hard. He could still hear Akutagawa’s laughter ringing in his ears.

He moved the phone away from his face to quietly exhale, deciding it would be best not to bother Kyouka-chan with all that.

“It’s okay.” He heard a snort behind him but decided to ignore it. “The bed is really comfortable.” His lie had to have some truth in it in order not to make Kyouka-chan worry unnecessarily; the bed was great, the only modern piece of furniture in the house he’s seen so far. It was almost like someone from the mafia complained about the state of the house at some point and they shoved the bed inside to shut them up.

“And you’re still coming back tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course, I promised you tofu, didn’t I?”

The weretiger then sat on a sofa, which turned out to be a very bad choice; he was instantly enveloped into a cloud of dust, almost like an erupting volcano. He could hear quiet laughter behind him (well, at least he tried to contain himself), but he was too busy trying not to sneeze to acknowledge it, afraid he’d break yet another piece of furniture. He was worried it would come out of his paycheck.

“What about Akutagawa, is he behaving?”

The chuckling instantly died down; he could now feel the steely eyes drilling into his skull.

I guess his hearing really has improved since becoming a vampire.

“Oh, you know. He’s been a little cranky, but I think he just needed to drink some blood.” He felt the wind on his face, and it wasn’t the draft he couldn’t place; it was a Rashomon head hovering right next to his ear, growling ever so slightly.

He gulped but decided to continue; this was way too fun. Plus, he wanted some revenge for the mafioso laughing at him. It was justified, but whatever. 

“He has these packs of blood with him, they look like those vitamin jellies you like, but he just bites directly into them, and he looks like a giant mosquito when he chomps on them, and …”

The room suddenly rotated, and he held onto his phone for dear life as he swayed from left to right, being suspended in the air by his ankle, dust cascading from his clothes to the ground.

“Anyway, anything new happened since I’ve been gone?” he casually stirred the conversation elsewhere, waiting for Rashomon to rotate him in Akutagawa’s direction so he could glare at him.

“Ranpo-san is moving in with Poe-san.”

He momentarily forgot he was still hanging from the ceiling.

“Oh, wow, did the racoon guy finally convince him?” He was excited for them! No one knew the true nature of their relationship, but they looked happy, so, whatever, right?

“Yes. I could hear them fighting about it through the wall. He had to promise him a weekly restock of his favorite candy.”

“Damn, must be nice.” He was finally facing Akutagawa, who was still occupying his bed. He had his eyes closed, ignoring him on purpose. “I should go now, Kyouka-chan. I have to get some sleep and get this annoying mosquito out of my room.”

Akutagawa flipped him off without opening his eyes, so he couldn’t do it back.

“Did you remember to take the sleeping pills with you?”

“Yes, I’m taking them as soon as I touch ground,” he replied without thinking too much, observing Rashomon moving him towards the bed, or alternatively, the window. Uh-oh.

“… okay. Good night.”

“Good night, Kyouka-chan. See you soon.”

The moment he heard the disconnecting click, Rashomon released him from her grip, and he fell onto the bed. Thankfully.

“Ouch,” he commented as he sat next to the mafioso, back against the wall.

This is so fucking casual, his brain decided to remind him out of nowhere.

Because. Yeah. It was. They were in their pajamas (Rashomon was a lovely grey color), resting after a long day of spying (and not exploding stuff, mind you), just chilling in Atsushi’s room like some pals. Akutagawa was being a cranky little bitch that he always was, but Atsushi (and his tiger) liked it. He really liked anything he did lately. Especially pet his head.

“Serves you right.”

“Whatever.” He glanced at the clock, realized it was broken, and checked his phone instead. “We possibly have fighting in the morning, so will you please get off my bed?”

It’s not like he wanted him to go, but they really did have a lot to do tomorrow. So. Yeah.

Akutagawa didn’t show any signs of moving.

“You can thank Chuuya for this bed, you know,” he said instead, as if he completely misinterpreted what his partner was trying to say. “He lost his temper while he was staying here once and bought it out of his own pocket.”

Atsushi almost didn’t hear him; Akutagawa’s hair was damp from the shower, and the weretiger had this urge to lick it, which was insane, so he blamed it on the tiger. He blamed a lot of his thoughts on the tiger lately.

“Wait, what?” Atsushi scratched his head; it was a little weird what he said right there. “He bought this bed? Only this?” Akutagawa nodded, not looking at him. “What’s yours like?” he asked, alarmed.

“… a mat.”

Okay. That explained why he wanted to hang out in his room. To sleep so close to that dirty floor … he’d hang on to his bed for as long as possible, too.

“Shit, I didn’t know that.”  The mafioso simply shrugged, but it’s not like Atsushi could just let it go now. “I guess we should switch rooms then.”

Akutagawa rolled his eyes. The weretiger liked it when he did that; it meant he was pleasantly annoyed.

Come to think of it, this was probably his plan all along.

“… I figured I’ll have trouble sleeping anyway, so it doesn’t matter.” Oh, this bastard. He’s going to make me plead with him. It’s not like he didn’t have a choice, but what else was he supposed to do, not plead? He’s not making him sleep on the floor next to the cockroaches, that’s for sure.

“Of course it does. You take the bed, I’ll be fine,” he said, determined, and was really planning to jump up and change rooms, but he was tired. So tired.

“I’ll be fine also.”

They sat there for a couple of minutes, back against the wall, not saying anything. Akutagawa was looking at the floor, pensive, probably not wanting to go back to his room, while the detective raked his brain for a better solution.

But wait, if he’s planned this … why didn’t he just … pick the room on arrival? Or kick him out for that matter, it’s not like it would be out of character.

Well.

Atsushi gulped. Rashomon hadn’t pierced him in a while, so he tried to prepare in advance. Just in case.

“… it is quite big. The bed.”

*

Atsushi stared at the ceiling, eyes wide-opened, looking paralyzed.

He felt a stir on his right but didn’t move a muscle.

Akutagawa was right next to him, even facing his direction, and …

“Why are your eyes open,” he said almost … languidly.

No. Get your shit together.

Just lie.

“… the tiger’s been acting up.”

I’m so stupid. Now he’s going to ask …

“How.”

The weretiger gulped. He’s been trying to contain it, but … Akutagawa should know about this, right? In case he let his guard down and the tiger straddled him in the middle of the night or something. And because this was not their last mission together, maybe even not the last time they’ll share a bed. Because of justifiable reasons, of course.  

“… he can sometimes say something, if he really wants to. Or conveys a feeling …” Am I really telling him this? What am I even trying to … “He’s been … conveying a lot at the same time, is all.”

Akutagawa huffed.

“No wonder you can’t sleep at night. What is he conveying now?”

Don’t. Just. Don’t.

“H-He wants to …” Yeah, no way. He took a deep breath, determined to stir the conversation elsewhere. “You know what. I think it’s your fault.”

Akutagawa didn’t reply immediately, but he could swear he heard him smirk.

“I see. Why is that.” Entertain me, weretiger, he seemed to say.

No. I won’t.

“He really likes the pets.” Fuck. “Like. Really.”

He felt his face burning up, but at the same time a sense of relief washed over him now that he’s finally said it; maybe the tiger will stop pestering him now to snuggle up to his once enemy every damned second.

As he presumed, Akutagawa was not pleased with the revelation.

“Do you seriously make everyone around you pet your head, weretiger?” He sounded irritated.

“No. It’s just you.” Atsushi didn’t notice this because he wasn’t looking at him, but the mafioso seemed to relax a bit at that. “That’s why he’s been so … weird. I think he thinks we’re really good friends or something.”

He covered his eyes with his hands, thinking about jumping through that window. The tiger was not sated, and Akutagawa was mad, so an exit really did sound appealing right now.

“Fine. I’ll pet your head.”

He finally turned towards Akutagawa, startled. He was looking back at him like they were talking about the weather or something.

“Uh. Wait. No. I still …” No turning back. He had to tell everything, because perhaps the pets would just make the situation … worse. “He … I think that’s what made him think … we like each other, and now …” I think I’ll die now. “…he wants to do it back.” I’m ready, gods. “Amongst other stuff.” Take me.

He squeezed his eyes closed, waiting for the verdict. He deserved to be at least called hentai, right?

“… what other stuff.”

Did he sound … curious?

Atsushi gulped again, turning on his hip to force himself to face Akutagawa. They were looking at each other now, one nervous animal and one overly chill vampire.

“Just … touch you a little.” Cuddle you. Bite you. Lick you.

But I think you’ll kill me if I say all that.

“Are we talking about grooming.”

Why was he not more disturbed? Why didn’t he even yell at him? Kick him, anything! It was making him think that maybe this was okay, but it was not, because he’s never had this urge before and … stupid tiger, fuck.

He didn’t realize when he started swearing this much, but he had a feeling it had to do with Akutagawa.

“I’m sorry.” He slowly got up, sat on the bed, and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I should just go, it’s for the …”

“It's for the tiger, right.” The weretiger slowly turned around, the urge to bury himself into Akutagawa’s chest stronger than ever. The man was laying on his back, arms over his head, gently playing with his hair. “It’s fine then. Go ahead.”

Atsushi couldn’t take it anymore. The man could carve him in two at any moment, and somehow seemed okay with the whole ordeal, so …

He barely registered his body moving; he slowly but surely, like he knew exactly that to do, slipped back under the covers, and positioned himself over Akutagawa. He put one of his legs between Akutagawa’s, making him part them. He then leaned in, hands on both sides of Akutagawa’s pretty face.

It was dark, but his eyes were shining like the moon was reflecting in them.

“Is this really okay?”

Akutagawa nodded once, and moved his head to the side, his cheeks darkening. And that’s when Atsushi mind sort of went … blank.

He buried himself in the crook of Akutagawa’s neck without further ado, making him gasp. He took a deep breath; he smelled of cheap soap and, very faintly, the tea they’ve had before bed. Cinnamon. His tongue stuck out without warning, tasting the skin from the collarbone to his jaw. Slowly, with more than one lick. Akutagawa didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything, though his breathing got ragged. Atsushi wanted to calm him down, so he moved to the junction between his neck and shoulder and gently bit into the soft flesh there. Bite, lick. Bite, squeeze. The breathing calmed down, though his heart still seemed to be in overdrive.

He flipped them over, Akutagawa landing on top of him, his body completely limp, completely at Atsushi’s disposal. He crashed him into a hug, though he didn’t show any signs he was going to escape. He wanted him close, wanted him safe, wanted him to be on him where he belonged.

He didn’t know or care how long he just held him like that, one hand gently running through his damp hair, but he put him back when he started sensing slight discomfort at the position. He embraced him around his waist instead, bringing him close to his chest, and Akutagawa just let him. He didn’t hug him back, he didn’t do anything, just … let him.

The tiger was quietly purring now, and Atsushi couldn’t tell if he was doing it also or was that just in his head.

“Can we sleep like this, please?” he whispered against Akutagawa’s hair, his scent calming him down like a lullaby. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he said no; it would not be easy at all to let go, move away, and …

“Yes.”

Oh, no, wait, I forgot to take my sleeping pills, was Atsushi last thought before he drifted off to sleep, arms full of Akutagawa.

Chapter Text

Atsushi sighed for the tenth or so time and took a sip of his (non-alcoholic) drink. He wasn’t really into it, probably because the drink didn’t have that much sugar in it, but it’s not like he had something better to do. He moved the bubbles around with his straw, looking sad and bothered, as if he had just exploded another building.

“Have I told you are pathetic today.”

The weretiger smiled a bit, put his head on the counter and looked up at his drinking buddy for the night.

“Yeah, no, not today,” he said as if he was seriously thinking it through, realizing he probably shouldn’t have put his head on a sticky bar counter.

“Apologies for the inconsistency.” Akutagawa sighed too, crossing his arms and closing his eyes, pretending to be apologetic. “You are very pathetic indeed, weretiger.”

Atsushi tried to smile again but somehow couldn’t muster it this time. He hid his face in the crook of his elbow instead, resisting the urge to groan.

He already knew he was being pathetic. He just … couldn’t really help it.

The bar was pleasantly full, so the silence between them didn’t seem to stretch uncomfortably.

“… why does she think you’re pathetic, too,” Akutagawa said softly after a while, tapping him with his finger on his head. Atsushi didn’t respond, so he tried again, then tangled his fingers into his hair further.

Atsushi batted his hand away without looking up.

“I’ll start purring.”

Akutagawa didn’t try again after that, and that somehow made the weretiger feel worse.

Why am I like this?

Just … say something.

“… she said I deserved a place for myself,” he replied after a while, forcing the words to leave his mouth. He didn’t want Akutagawa to leave because he was being pathetic, so he had to start somewhere, right?

He raised his head and took another sip of his underwhelming drink.

“It’s not like I blame her. It’s actually nice to have the apartment for myself.” And then, to really sell it, in a voice than verged on tears: “It’s great.”

He could feel the mafioso’s steely gaze on him but couldn’t bring himself to face him. He felt exposed, like an open wound, even though nothing bad actually happened; he was just unreasonably emotional about the whole situation and didn’t know how to react.

Time to make it funny. Just tell a stupid joke. Otherwise, he’ll leave you, too.

He looked at Akutagawa sideways, the corner of his lips turning up, even though he didn’t really feel like being funny at all. He just wanted the conversation to be easy, silly, happy.

“Do you think I might have some abandonment issues?”

Akutagawa tapped his glass impatiently.

“Have you tried drinking.”

The laugh that came out of his chest surprised him; he didn’t expect to actually find anything funny but here he was, laughing out loud.

He faced Akutagawa fully, a smile on his lips also.

“Is that why you’ve been giving me shit about my virgin cocktail all night?” he asked, pretending to be touched. “You just secretly care about me and want me to drink my sorrows away?”

“No, that is a separate insult.”

They both laughed at that, Akutagawa’s rare laughter making his insides flutter in a pleasant way.

… maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, forgetting his own stupid thoughts for a night. It’s not like he was planning on sleeping, anyway.

“You know what. Maybe you’re right.”

Akutagawa raised his eyebrows, and then slowly pushed his glass towards the weretiger, daring him to do it.

Atsushi stared at the glass, considering. He’s tried alcohol before, it was almost impossible he wouldn’t whilst hanging out with Dazai-san, but just a taste; he was too scared to overstep and also didn’t fully trust Dazai-san to be the responsible one if it got too far. Did he trust Akutagawa?

He then noticed the outline of Akutagawa’s lips imprinted on the glass, and something about that detail helped him make up his mind.

“To Kyouka-chan getting her own apartment,” he said as he raised Akutagawa’s glass, its cloudy contents reflecting in the dim light.

“Cheers,” nodded Akutagawa, and took his mocktail, raising it also.

The alcohol burned his throat, and he felt like coughing at first, but then suddenly it was sweet, very sweet, and Atsushi realized he didn’t mind it at all. Sweet and sour mixed on his tongue and all in all, it tasted … pretty great. Better than his juice Akutagawa was finishing up for him at the moment.

“Easy, weretiger.”

He drank half the glass in a few gulps, not even halting to take breaths in between.

“Oh, oops.” He smiled more easily at Akutagawa, his chest feeling a little lighter. “It’s good.”

“I have a feeling you’d gulp down anything if it had enough sugar in it,” Akutagawa commented as he flagged down the waiter, ordering another cocktail. “Good to know if I ever … weretiger. Seriously?”

Atsushi licked at the sugar on the edge of his empty glass and gave him an apologetic look.

“I like sugar, so what,” he said defensively, eyeing the drink that was placed in front of Akutagawa, ignoring his new virgin cocktail.

The mafioso covered his drink with his hand, as if afraid Atsushi might slurp it with his straw while he wasn’t looking.

“… it was rare, back then.”

Atsushi’s brain took a moment to process what he said there. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe a memory. Or the way he said it.

“You mean, back at the … when you were little?” he asked carefully, not sure he liked the direction this was headed. What happened to funny, silly, light?

Akutagawa nodded, eyes a little distant.

“I imagine it was similar for you.”

… sugar was scarce back then all right. Chocolate was basically currency back at the orphanage.

“I still drink my coffee with three cubes of sugar, much to Kyouka-chan’s disapproval,” he tried to say cheerfully, but somehow failed, his throat tightening once again.

Akutagawa crossed his arms, and Atsushi got ready for a scolding.

“Pathetic. I use four.”

They looked at each other and dissolved into giggles once again. This time it took them a while to finally calm down.

Akutagawa let him have another sip (a generous one) and Atsushi started feeling a lot better soon after. The talking, the alcohol, the warmth of both. The orphanage seemed distant, and its fears with it. Kyouka-chan wasn’t really going anywhere, in fact …

“By the way, where did Kyouka even move, like downstairs?” Akutagawa eventually asked, his casual way of speaking (probably the cocktail’s fault) throwing Atsushi off a bit. He giggled and stole another sip, them sharing a glass making him feel … something.

“… next door.” Akutagawa gave him a withering look and then rolled his eyes dramatically, which made Atsushi double over with laughter. “What, Ranpo-san moved in with Poe-san! The apartment was vacant, so …”

Akutagawa ruffled his hair, not gently, but Atsushi let out a purr anyways, which made them pause and then laugh even harder.

*

“Easy, weretiger, you’re drunk.”

Atsushi felt like he was on top of the world. He didn’t drink that much, and they’ve had some fast food since then, but it still felt amazing.

He also climbed a lamp post just because he could. To show off or something, his brain didn’t really compute at that point.

“No, you’re drunk,” he threw back at Akutagawa who was tapping his foot below him, looking it up at him like a disappointed teacher. He looked funny like that. Jump him.

“Yeah, and you’re …” His brain didn’t seem to compute that well either. “.. stupid.” The lack of insults was telling.

“You’re stu… no, no, wait. You’re smart. Like, really smart.” Atsushi felt like it was vital to really emphasize that, because yeah, he though Akutagawa was amazing and smart and great and cuddly and–

“… okay,” the mafioso said slowly, not sounding sure how to respond to that. “But get down, now, will you.”

Atsushi showed him his tongue and then did a headstand on one hand, expertly balancing on the narrow head of the lamp post.

“Wow, look at you,” Akutagawa said with a fake-fascinated voice, and Atsushi giggled, happy despite him making fun of him.

And then he felt his stomach drop.

He immediately changed position, sitting on the lamp, a little pale and out of breath.

“Need a hand?” Akutagawa asked carefully, Rashomon rippling to life.

Atsushi shook his head, feeling a little better.

“Can you just catch me if I fall? And try not to hang me upside down if that happens. Please,” he asked, and then slowly slid down the pole, firefighter style.

He wobbled on his feet once he touched ground, and Akutagawa grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt to steady him.

“You looked like a cat stuck on a tree,” he let him know immediately, leaning way too far into Atsushi’s personal space, his breath making Atsushi remember that sleepless night they’ve met a few months ago.   

“Yeah yeah, and you looked like a … mosquito,” he said triumphantly, like he just figured out an amazing insult and fought off his instincts telling him to lick Akutagawa’s face.

“That’s still not funny.” The mafioso rolled his eyes and pushed away, resuming walking.   

“It is,” Atsushi quickly replied and ran after him, matching their paces, hand gently brushing over the place where Akutagawa gripped him. Felt nice.

“It really isn’t.”

“It is.”

“It’s not.”

“It … wait, this isn’t my apartment.”

They were almost at Akutagawa’s place; he knew the way by now.

Akutagawa crossed his arms, giving him a look he seemed to show exclusively to him. Exasperated, but entertained.

“Are you sure you’re a detective.”

Atsushi scratched his head, laughing awkwardly, his walking slowing down.  

“Sorry, didn’t mean to invite myself over … again.” He kind of just stayed rooted to the spot while Akutagawa walked ahead, not really sure how to procced; was he just going to walk right into the elevator with him like last time? Should he just leave before embarrassing himself further? He really was not paying attention to where they were going, was he?  

“Why not, it’s late.”

It was good he was not moving when he said that, because he would most definitely trip and fall if he was.

“… wait, what?” Akutagawa didn’t stop, just waved his hand and marched forward. They were practically at his place already. Atsushi sped up, passing him, then looked back at him, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. “Are you serious?”

“… yeah, why not.”

Atsushi gave him a confused look. He stopped once again, watching the mafioso pass him.

Did he … forget?

“Well … you know what happened last time.” Akutagawa looked over his shoulder, eyebrows raised. He was making him say it, the bastard. “… I groomed you?” He knew he wasn’t completely sober because he said the ‘g’ word without stammering. 

Akutagawa must’ve also still been under the effect. Because he didn’t stagger, didn’t stutter, didn’t nothing.

“It’s fine, weretiger.”

… okay, what the hell?

Atsushi once again sped up ahead, walking backwards to stare at Akutagawa dumbfoundedly.

“What if it happens again?” he asked, curious where this was going. He really didn’t feel like walking home now. He could still catch a cab, but whatever.

“I said it’s fine, didn’t I.” His face was emotionless like usual. He just looked sleepy.

Atsushi wondered if he noticed they slept better when they were together, too, but was being coy about it to make it look like Atsushi wanted it more. Which was probably true, but whatever.

“… it will happen again, you know.”

“Again. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Akutagawa glared at him, his patience running out.

“Oh, for fucks sake weretiger, suit yourself, I’m going to …”

The weretiger felt like he was put on autopilot or maybe just resigned himself to the tiger instincts; he stepped forward, directly into the mafioso’s path, and crashed him into a hug, not even stopping to think he might get pierced or worse.

He hugged him around his waist, and put his head on his shoulder, squeezing like he never wanted to let him go. Which he didn’t. Whatever.

“You’re the best, Ryuunosuke.”

He waited for the verdict, feeling as fulfilled as when they finally imprisoned Dostoyevsky and brought back everyone who perished in the fight with Amenogozen. It shouldn’t really compare that well, but Atsushi never felt happier. And it’s not like he had that many happy memories to compare with to begin with.

He felt Akutagawa’s hand slowly reaching out. He held his breath, a little worried, and then he used the hand to awkwardly pat his back.

“I’m never letting you drink again.”

… I just got away with calling him by his first name. We’re so licking his face tonight.

“Okay!”

Chapter Text

Atsushi yawned, deciding it wasn’t worth it anymore; he’s been trying to get off the sleeping pills (especially because he could sleep so well when with a certain someone) but hasn’t seen much success doing it the normal way. It was already well past midnight, and he had work in the morning, so …

“I’m becoming a drug addict,” he announced to no one, about to pour himself a glass of water to take the pills with, when a loud bang on the door interrupted him. “Oh, great.”

He stomped towards the door, annoyed, since his T-shirt was now completely soaked.

“I swear, if this is Dazai-san drunk again, I’ll …”

The banging continued, and now it was way too aggressive for Dazai-san in any state. Oh, no. Atsushi cautiously called onto his tiger, his arms transforming, and slowly wrapped his paw around the doorknob, completely awake.

“Who is it?”

He could hear deep and irregular breathing. Were they injured?

“Weretiger.”

Oh.

He opened the door immediately, de-transforming.  

“Akuta–”

He wasn’t sure what happened, but it unfolded so fast he barely had time to react; he also completely let his guard down the moment the words ‘Akutagawa’ and ‘injured’ mixed together in his mind. He now found himself crushed to the floor, completely unable to move, while Rashomon and Akutagawa’s hands pinned him firmly to the ground.

“What the–”

“Weretiger.”

The way he said it made him stop trying to struggle; he sounded in pain, and desperate. Atsushi focused on his face, which was now mere centimeters away from his own.

His pupils were blown wide open, something that made his tiger very alarmed. He looked like a predator, a look that accompanied his salivating mouth pretty well, once he noticed it; his teeth seemed to be longer, sharper, ready to …

“Blood,” was all the vampire said, and he barely let it through his teeth, as if the mere act of talking hurt him in some way.

The detective connected the dots on his own quite fast. There wasn’t much to think about, anyway. What was he going to do, not give him his blood when he was in need? And if he had too much, which honestly looked like he was going to; it could finally make him sleep, so win-win, right?

He gulped.

“Yeah, sure, uh, go ahead.”

Atsushi barely had the time to brace himself before Akutagawa’s teeth sank deeply into his neck.

“… fuck.”

He was full of adrenaline the last time he did this to him, so he barely felt the bite, remembering it hurt but not how much. Now it hurt like hell, like a bunch of thick needles puncturing the sensitive skin on his throat, pulling out blood while they frantically thrashed around. His tiger was going berserk, thinking they were being attacked, and Atsushi tried really hard to calm him down, to tell him that they weren’t going to die. Probably. He felt lightheaded and panicked, the only thing preventing him from pushing back remembering the desperation in his partner’s voice.

The vampire’s craze seemed to calm down after a minute, and even though he stayed firmly attached to Atsushi’s artery, he no longer chomped down on him like his life depended on it. Rashomon loosened up, though the weretiger was still trapped under Akutagawa’s body, his hands gripping him as if he was afraid Atsushi was going to escape.

Atsushi closed his eyes, trying to figure out if he had enough blood left in his system to function properly. The tiger seemed to have been replenishing the lost quite well, but they were both getting tired. He couldn’t really focus on anything else but the need to stay alive, despite some small part of his brain telling him to enjoy it while it lasted. Enjoy it how? How he didn’t mind the bruises developing on his biceps, because the pressure was kind of nice? That he somehow enjoyed Akutagawa’s breath on his neck, accentuated by the wetness, and the little sounds he made that seemed to convey both pain and pleasure?

Okay. I’ve definitely lost enough blood.

Just as he was about to ask nicely if he was done, Akutagawa detached from his neck with a loud squelching sound. He practically fell off Atsushi, and thumped with his back against the wall, panting.

Atsushi slowly sat up, taking a moment to gather himself. He felt a little lightheaded, but nothing too worrisome; all his limbs still seemed to be obeying him. There were angry red lines all over his exposed skin from Rashomon, and some bloody ones on his upper arms where Akutagawa dug his nails in; nothing extreme. His neck was throbbing, and it felt hot, and it hurt, but he figured the tiger would take care of it eventually.

All good.

He then turned his focus on his partner, who was slowly winding down. He was slumped against the wall, taking deep breaths, slowly but surely evening them out.

He looked like a hot mess. His hair was all tangled up, and now that the weretiger had time to look, he noticed his clothes didn’t fare much better; they were dirty and torn all over, like he got caught in some branches and then rolled down a muddy hill. His face was bloody (like Atsushi’s poor shirt) but at least no longer contorted into that predator mask Atsushi’s tiger was so scared of.

“… better?” Atsushi asked tentatively, hand hovering over his swollen neck.

Akutagawa cracked open one of his eyes for a millimeter or so, not looking at Atsushi. He was looking at the floor, maybe assessing the damage he’d done to it. Or maybe he was embarrassed. He then cleared his throat, and licked the corner of his bloodied lips, probably on instinct.

He’s licking my blood. That’s cool.

“Yes,” Akutagawa eventually replied, opening both of his eyes, and looked at him properly. “Thank you,” he added, softly, looking down at the messy floor again.

Atsushi was about to reply with something stupid like ‘sure, anytime’, when he felt the breeze on his wet body.

The door was left ajar.

“Oh, shit. I hope no one heard that,” he murmured under his breath. He stood up way too quickly, fell on the floor, picked himself up again and slammed the door closed, slumping to the floor immediately after, his vision blurring.

When it finally cleared, he caught Akutagawa quietly chuckling into his hand.

He thought about calling him an asshole, but he figured it was kind of funny.

“So … want to tell me what happened just now?” he asked, sounding as annoyed as he could, but couldn’t help but smile a little, too.

Akutagawa sighed, his face more relaxed now.

“I’ve been experimenting.”

“… okay?”

“Testing how long I can go without blood,” he explained.

It made sense … it was good to know where one’s boundaries were; Atsushi was still figuring out his own. Though … it was hard to believe the Port Mafia didn’t take any precautions regarding a literal vampire in their midst.

“Okay, that’s useful, I guess, but … shouldn’t you have prepared better?” He could just blame it on the blood-loss if he said something too forward.

Akutagawa looked at him sideways.

“Of course I did,” he replied angrily, or at least tried to. “It just didn’t work.” Atsushi patiently waited for him to elaborate. “I always keep blood packs on me; I’m not a fool. They didn’t take this time, however,” he added a little quieter. “Tried to isolate in the woods until it caught on. It didn’t.”

“You need fresh blood if you go without for too long?” the detective guessed, fascinated.

“It would seem so, yes.” He leaned his head on the wall, pensive. “You’re the only person I figured wouldn’t die from me at this point.”

“I’m glad you thought of me.”

He meant to say it ironically, but it came out completely serious, and, to make it even worse, weirdly gentle. It’s not like he didn’t mean it, he really was happy about it, no one died after all, but now he just made it … awkward. Akutagawa was looking at the floor again, his cheeks turning red. Atsushi wondered if it was his blood that helped him blush.

That would be so cool.

He cleared his throat, his cheeks also feeling a little heated.

“Anyway … I’m ordering some food now. Since I almost fainted and all …” He opened his app, still slouched against the door, not planning on moving until said food got there. “You want anything?”

Akutagawa got up, slowly but surely, and then walked up to him. The weretiger was about to protest because it looked like he wanted him to move, but Akutagawa just sat down next to him, leaning against the door also, their shoulders touching.

He whipped out his own phone and offered it to Atsushi without looking at him.

“I’m paying.”

Atsushi grinned.

“Does that mean …”

“Yes. Order anything.”

The perpetually hungry weretiger didn’t need to be told twice; he chose about ten main and side dishes, feeling like he could easily eat a horse. He then passed the phone to Akutagawa, hoping he wasn’t getting judged too much but his partner barely glanced at the order, only added a dish of his own.

And then they just sat there, shoulder to shoulder, looking exhausted, staring into empty space.

“… want to take a shower while we wait?”

*

Atsushi had devoured most of his food by the time Akutagawa came out of the bathroom, and once he caught a glance at him, he immediately choked on his udon. The vampire was wearing his pajamas, the ones he’d given to him; they were a washed-up pastel purple color, and he chose them on purpose. He figured Akutagawa would look good in that color, and he was right. Choking-on-his-udon right.

He was still in awe when they were getting ready for bed much later.

Akutagawa came into the bedroom, looking purple and soft and smelled of his shampoo, and Atsushi just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“You look cu… good.”

Akutagawa just stood there for a while, not crossing the threshold, staring at Atsushi like he was insane.

“… okay.”

Atsushi felt like he didn’t stress it enough. He cleared his throat, embarrassed but determined.

“Purple suits you.”

Akutagawa looked him in the eye, and then switched from one eye to the other, as if searching for something; he looked for such a long time Atsushi started to wonder if there was something wrong with his eyes.

The man in purple then crossed his arms and looked to the side.

“I suppose it does.”

His eyebrow quirked at what he saw there, and Atsushi turned around.

Right.

The sleeping situation.

He presumptuously laid down both tatami mats in the middle of the room, right next to each other. Atsushi still liked to sleep in the closet, despite Kyouka-chan moving out, however he moved his own mat to place it next to Akutagawa’s a few moments ago …he figured it would be fine but …

“W-Want me to move back to the closet? I can. I’ll even close the door,” he quickly offered, and kneeled next to the mat, about to start rolling it up.

Akutagawa sighed and sat on it, preventing him from moving it.  

“Why would I want that. I sleep better when you’re close.” He looked away, and Atsushi slowly broke out in a stupid grin. “I just thought you might’ve invested in a bed since getting your raise.” He then laid down on the mat, looking up at the ceiling.

You know, the bed might be a good idea. A big bed. Like that in the safehouse.

But he was more interested in that other piece of information right now.

“… you noticed that too, huh.” He sat down too, hovering over Akutagawa. “Why do you think that is?” he wondered, thinking about burying his face in that neat little space between Akutagawa’s neck and shoulder. He wanted to live in that space.

… is this still the tiger, or am I just …

The man in his pajamas didn’t reply to that. He shrugged and closed his eyes, sighing, while Atsushi just kept staring. The man then suddenly opened one eye and caught him still looking; the weretiger flinched, caught red handed in his daydream.

“No licking my face tonight, weretiger?” Akutagawa asked, amused.

Atsushi didn’t lose any time and immediately started stuttering.

“I-I didn’t’ mean to … I was … ugh …” The man below him started laughing, and he caught a glimpse of his teeth; not as sharp as before, but still deadly looking. Was that really in his neck not long ago? He shook his head to stop thinking about Akutagawa’s pretty teeth and glared at him. “Are you mocking me?”

He didn’t miss a beat.

“Always.”

Atsushi pretended to be offended, deciding this was a good way to hide his blush he was worried Akutagawa could see in the dark; he slipped under the covers and faced the opposite side in a dramatic way, determined not to succumb to the need to curl up to the man next to him. 

His ears were on alert for movement. His heart rate picked up when he thought the vampire was coming closer, but he was just removing the cover to get underneath.

Atsushi stewed for a while but forgot about the whole ordeal in a matter of minutes.

He rolled on his hip, deciding to tell him what he thought of their predicament.

“… I think it’s because we make each other feel safe.”

Akutagawa titled his head towards him, looking half-way under already.

“Is that so,” he said in a sleepy voice.

Okay. Maybe not the best time for deep conversation about their attachment issues.

Akutagawa sort of just stayed there, facing Atsushi with his eyes closed, and the weretiger moved a little closer, just because he could.

“You smell nice,” he heard himself say, barely mustering up the shame to cringe. “… the tiger might try to eat you, just so you know.”

“Even after that feast?” He opened one of his eyes, barely. “Well, you can certainly try.”

Okay, now he fully cringed at himself. Because this is exactly what he was going for, right?

“… is that a yes?”

Just shamelessly asking for permission.

“I don’t follow.”

Okay, no way he’s letting go now.

“Can I … go ahead?”

So close.

“… why do you keep asking.” Atsushi slowly uncovered his blanket and sat up again, looking at Akutagawa with what he hoped didn’t come across as hunger. Akutagawa looked up at him, seemingly more awake now. “... yes.”

His skin tasted even better than last time; he smelled of him, and that brought him a satisfaction he didn’t know exactly where to place. His hand slipped underneath Akutagawa’s borrowed shirt, and while he did gasp and squirmed a little, he also didn’t bat his hand away or did anything to discourage him. The tiger wanted him to bury his head under there, but he was lucid enough to fight it, even though he wanted it, too.

He now knew for sure; sleeping pills couldn’t compare to the affect this man had on him. As he purred and held Ryuunosuke close to his heart, everything just made sense. All was well. And some part of Atsushi started suspecting his affections could not be entirely blamed on the tiger anymore.

Chapter Text

Atsushi was all out of ideas. He tried to be understanding, comforting, annoying, funny; he even began telling an embarrassing story to get him to care. Nothing seemed to work. He just couldn’t get through to him. All he got was a blank stare.

Am I doing this all wrong?

… maybe just words aren’t enough right now.

But I’m not touching him when he’s like that. He hasn’t even properly registered me yet.

What can I even …

“I’ll go make you some tea, ‘kay?” he decided on a whim, thinking maybe Akutagawa would appreciate something warm.  

He got up from the couch where Akutagawa had made a fortress of blankets and pillows and made his way towards the kitchen. He was hoping he’d be able to find all he needed without having to call for help, and maybe take the time to come up with some new ideas on how to cheer him up or at least wake him from that horrible lifeless stare.

He didn’t like seeing his eyes like that. He had forgotten how dark they could get.

Hang in there for a little longer, Ryuunosuke. I’ll make it better.

I promise.

He put on the kettle, check. He located the tea drawer (yes, the mafioso had a huge drawer dedicated to tea and tea alone) following his nose. Check. He then opened a few cupboards, successfully locating the cups and mugs. This one was a little tricky, though; Akutagawa had many, many cups, mostly vintage ones. Atsushi stood there for a while, browsing the expensive and fragile looking dishes that looked less like things to drink get-better-tea out of and more like they belonged in a museum.

His eyes then settled on a mug that had a more modern design.

It also had a cute little paw print on it.

Atsushi stared at it for a second longer before reaching for it.

Looks less expensive … in case I break it. He told himself that’s why he chose it.

He then heard movement behind his back. He forced himself not to turn around, afraid he’d somehow scare him away. He threw the used chamomile in the trash and took his sweet time to clean the strainer, pretending he didn’t notice the lurking presence right behind him.

The steaming mug with the (cat?) paw was almost ready.

“They say sugar is bad for you in the evening,” Atsushi chatted away as he started opening the drawers again, “but does honey count? Can I give you four cubes of sugar worth in honey instead?” He took a spoon and was reaching out to grab the honey jar he found, when a weight pressed against him. “… huh?”

Akutagawa had his whole body pressed tightly against his back. His head was squeezed in the junction between Atsushi’s neck and shoulder, his arms circling his once enemy into a tight embrace. They were crushed so close together it took the weretiger’s breath away.

… it’s not like they never hugged before, but something about this felt different. It was Atsushi’s first coherent thought.

After the initial surprise, he slowly reached out, touching Akutagawa’s arm with his palm. And after a little while more, he started caressing it with his thumb.

…

The tea cooled down to the perfect temperature by the time the vampire’s grip loosened up.

Atsushi turned around, leaning on the counter behind him with his hands, feeling like he might fall if he didn’t use them both. Akutagawa was now sitting with his legs crossed on the kitchen island across Atsushi, looking at the floor, but the weretiger didn’t mind the lack of eye-contact anymore; Akutagawa’s eyes were looking much livelier and brighter than before.

He cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward.

“Do you … want to talk about it?” he carefully asked, hoping now was a better moment to discuss it, turning around to add the honey in the tea just so that he had something to do. He was also in need of a distraction to make him stop thinking about Akutagawa’s body heat melting into his.

“Talk about what.”

Uh-oh. He didn’t sound ready to talk about it at all.

But it’s not like he could backpedal now.

Atsushi gulped, turning back around.

“About … the nightmare?” he said hesitantly.

He was mentally preparing himself for another nerve-wrecking silence, but Akutagawa responded quite fast this time around.

“Not really, no.”

…

“Okay. That’s okay.” He didn’t make himself sound so sure, but whatever. He licked the spoon he mixed the tea with, thinking it over. “Just … let me know when you’re ready, okay? Or … if you want to talk about something else. Or something.” Like maybe hug some more. Just. Putting it out there.

The vampire closed his eyes, crossing his arms.

“Okay,” he agreed. “If you give me my tea now.” The request made Atsushi smile. He brought the mug with the (tiger?) paw print into the mafioso’s hands as per order, and then totally accidentally stayed by his side, leaning on the kitchen island beside him.

He didn’t miss how the corner of his lips turned upwards when he saw the mug he chose.

This is nice. A little depressing, but still nice.

“You didn’t finish telling the story,” Akutagawa spoke after a short silence, making Atsushi jump. He was weirdly concentrated on his elbow that was casually touching Akutagawa’s knee but if he wasn’t so focused on that, he would’ve been startled anyway, because he really didn’t want to resume his story about “… the party.”

He gulped once again.

“You mean the whole girlfriend … shit, I was hoping you weren’t listening,” he said in all honesty, because yeah, he was just rambling on, convinced his words bounced right off from the aura the vampire was projecting at the time.

Akutagawa smiled, hiding it with his hand.

“Do continue,” he said, almost … mischievously.

In a matter of seconds, Atsushi promptly decided to kiss his dignity good-bye for the second time that evening. And both times, he did it for Akutagawa … so this better cheer him up.

He sighed, covering his face with his hand (the one that wasn’t touching Akutagawa’s knee).

“Ugh. Fine.” He took a moment to remember where he left off; just after he finished talking with Akutagawa on the phone, he was asking his boss if he could leave the party early. “Okay, so … the President didn’t answer fast enough and then, somehow, suddenly everyone knew what I asked; for a second, I thought I had a mike on. And I immediately knew I was in trouble.”

“Why didn’t you just leave the second I called you, though,” Akutagawa asked, making Atsushi laugh awkwardly, because yeah, he thought the same thing when he was standing there in front of everybody, breaking in a cold sweat, feeling like he was being put on trial.

“It’s not polite!” he tried defending himself. “I had to ask permission … the President was paying for everything, and it seemed like the least I could do …” Akutagawa nodded and took a sip of his tea, obviously not believing him. “Well, anyway … of course it was Dazai-san who then had to ask ‘Who was that on the phone just now, Atsushi-kun?’, in his, you know … annoying way.” He stole a glance at Akutagawa, who luckily didn’t react to the D name negatively. “… and then it … kind of spiraled from there.”

“Spiraled how,” he asked innocently.

He’s having fun now. He always has fun when I’m embarrassing myself.

… I’m happy he’s happy, though.

“Dazai-san got the ball rolling … and then Kunikida-san made it ten times worse,” he continued with a new wave of energy, deciding he’ll give Akutagawa a show. “Even though I think he wanted to help, in his own way … he yelled at Dazai-san, saying that he shouldn’t pry into people’s personal business like that … because it was obviously my girlfriend calling me.” Akutagawa giggled, covering his face with the mug. “I tried explaining it was you but then I started thinking about … you know, the things we do together and … I don’t know, I got confused and didn’t want to say too much.”

“And then suddenly everyone started piling on, I didn’t realize they’ve been watching me this closely … Naomi-san mentioned that how I acted on the phone with you is how Tanizaki-san acts when she’s mad at him, meaning it was definitely my girlfriend calling me … and then they started listing all the ‘girlfriend-behavior’, as they called it. How I’m always texting someone, how I’ve started turning down offers to hang out in the evening, stuff like that.” His cheeks got a little warm, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the mortifying story or from watching Akutagawa trying his best not to laugh out loud. “I thought it couldn’t get any worse than that.”

“Well, don’t stop there,” Akutagawa nudged him with his knee.

Atsushi sighed, surrendering to the role of Akutagawa’s personal jester. He also used the moment of him touching him to gently lean on his knee with his elbow. Just. You know. Casual.

“Then … they turned to Kyouka-chan, asking her who I’ve been spending so much time with lately, because they knew she was the most likely to know.”

The vampire raised his eyebrows.

“Does she.”

“Well, yeah,” the weretiger replied after taking a moment to think it over; he basically told her everything, yes.

“I didn’t teach her to be a snitch.”

That made Atsushi laugh.

“And she didn’t! She shoved her mouth full of tofu and pretended she couldn’t speak,” he proudly told him. “It was hilarious.” He sighed, remembering what happened next. “But then … then they started gathering the deserts, giving them to Ranpo-san as offerings. Using his sugar addiction as bribe, asking him to spill the tea in return.”

“That’s just unfair,” Akutagawa commented without emotion, finishing up his own tea.

… he didn’t seem worried at all at the prospect of the entire ADA thinking they were dating.  

“Right!? And he took them all! He ate like, five strawberry shortcakes, and then announced …” Atsushi made a dramatic pause, and even though he pretended he didn’t fully care, he knew he had the vampire’s complete attention, “… that they should all just shove it. Because he wouldn’t want his own relationship exposed like that.” He smiled widely at him, and Akutagawa rolled his eyes. “It’s not every day Ranpo-san behaves so … maturely. He shut everyone right up … it lasted for about five seconds, too.”

A moment of silence.

Was it just him or did Akutagawa seem a little dissatisfied with the ending? He shifted in his position, thinking something over.

“… what happened then,” he asked, looking into his empty mug like the rest of the story was somewhere at the bottom.

“Then the President finally gave me his blessing. I took off. And now I’m here.”

Something was still brewing inside Akutagawa. He could feel it.

He leaned a little more into his side, encouraging him to come out with it.

“Would it bother you that much, though,” Akutagawa said after a short pause, “if they figured it out.”

Careful there.

“Well, it would certainly be embarrassing,” he said while scratching his head, hoping he wasn’t about to screw it all up by saying the wrong thing. “But I guess not really? I just didn’t want Ranpo-san to talk about how we’ve been sleeping together … you know, literally … or that I let you drink my blood. And, you know. Stuff like that.” Please don’t say grooming out loud. “Luckily, they didn’t guess correctly. Come to think of it … they’re not very good detectives, are they?”

Akutagawa huffed.

“I could’ve told you that,” he commented and presented him with the empty mug. Atsushi gladly took it, pushing himself from the counter, and took a step towards the basin, deciding he should wash the mug, thinking Akutagawa already asked everything that he wanted to know. And they could finally go to sleep.

After a few seconds, he dropped a bomb on him.

“What if, instead of girlfriend. They called me your boyfriend.” Atsushi was glad he just put the mug down, otherwise, he would’ve probably broken it for real. “Would that bother you.”

He opened the tap, giving the mug a rinse that it most definitely didn’t need, hoping the running water could drown out the sound his heart was making.

“Heh. I guess that’s what they’d think if they knew it’s been you.” He realized this is not what Akutagawa was asking, and even though he wasn’t completely sure what he was hoping to hear, he decided he should just be honest. “It’d still be embarrassing,” he confessed after almost a minute of thinking it over. “But it wouldn’t bother me if it didn’t bother you.”

I’m holding my breath. Why am I holding my breath.

“That kind of stuff doesn’t affect me,” Akutagawa replied like they were discussing the weather, his voice unaffected by the implication.

Atsushi always admired how confident Akutagawa was about everything.

“Really?” he asked, psyching himself up to sound surer of himself, even if his legs were turning to jelly. “You’re so much cooler than me, Ryuunosuke,” he said, only half-joking.

He turned around in time to see that smug look on his face.

“I know.”

And then Akutagawa yawned, barely covering it up with his hand. It was so sudden and so cute it made Atsushi forget how flustered he was supposed to be.

“You ready to go back to sleep?” he asked while he toweled his hands.

Akutagawa nodded, half-lidded and suddenly looking very tired. It must’ve been an exhausting night for him. But the second part was bound to get better.

Atsushi took a step forward, wanting to help him step down, when Akutagawa raised his arms.

He didn’t expect him to do that.

It was so … cute. He was sitting a little higher, waiting for him to pick him up. Carry him to bed, presumably.

… as he was reaching out, excited to meet him half-way, the weretiger finally realized why that hug from before felt so different from the others. Akutagawa always accepted Atsushi’s advances, and while he did encourage them, he never really initiated them. He initiated twice tonight alone.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing he had a nightmare … but I can’t say I don’t appreciate this.   

Akutagawa braced himself around his neck, wrapping his legs around his waist. Atsushi tried his best not to smile like an idiot.

… the more familiar they got, the more exciting the mundane was. Like holding him in the middle of the kitchen.

“I like it when you’re clingy like this,” Atsushi heard himself whisper as he carried him in his arms towards the bedroom.

He was not prepared for the reply.

“Well, as you should.” He could feel his breath traveling down his collarbone, making his own breath hitch in his throat. “I’m your boyfriend after all.”

Chapter Text

“Wait. Let me get this straight.” Akutagawa’s sister Gin was standing there with her arms crossed, and she reminded Atsushi so much of his partner that it would made him smile if it didn’t feel like they were getting scolded. “You got assigned a new mission,” she pointed at her brother, “and the mission required you to learn how to waltz.” Akutagawa nodded, and Atsushi knew he had no idea where she was going with this. But that’s okay Ryuu; I’ll just be embarrassed for the both of us. “So, you asked him to practice with?” The finger was now on Atsushi. He blushed, because … yeah. “Is that … is that correct?”

Akutagawa showed no particular emotion.

“Correct.”

Gin kept staring at him.

… was she hoping for some kind of better explanation?

This seemed to confuse Akutagawa, too.

“He is my partner; therefore, he is contractually obligated to do these kinds of things with me,” he explained, raising his eyebrows at her like she was questioning something obvious.

Atsushi turned towards Akutagawa, surprised. 

“Wait, really?” He never really read the contract that carefully; he just trusted Dazai and Kunikida to know what they were doing.  

Akutagawa blinked at him.

“I’m not actually sure,” he replied after a second, “but that is what the ‘other’ in the contract probably refers to. If you said no and we were to sue, that’s where our lawyers would strike,” he said confidently, but the weretiger saw the corner of his lips quirking up.

“… good thing I said yes?”

They shared a look. Atsushi laughed a little, and Akutagawa covered his face with his hand, so it was safe to assume it made him smile, too.

Gin’s icy demeanor melted a bit at the sight of her brother behaving so relaxed. Though she still eyed Atsushi like she didn’t fully trust him.

“You two seem to be getting along a lot better,” she noted, not sounding so sure.

“Why are you acting so surprised, sister,” Akutagawa simply replied, then turned towards his partner. “And where did you put my water, weretiger.”

“You never told me about …” Gin’s eyes lit up with the sudden realization. “Ooh. Weretiger,” she whispered, seemingly to herself.

Atsushi passed the water, and when he looked back at her, Akutagawa Gin appeared to be a different person. She smiled at him brightly, with her arms behind her back, rocking on her heels like she was suddenly really excited about something. She looked a lot younger like that; made him think of Kyouka-chan for a second.

“Uh, you can step in, if you want to,” Atsushi offered; maybe she wanted to dance, too?

“No, that’s okay, um … Nakajima-san.” She giggled once she said his name, and Atsushi wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. Did he miss something while he looked away to find that water? “Have a good practice.” She waved at them and started walking towards the exit. “Nice hoodie by the way,” she winked at Atsushi before she disappeared. 

Right. He was wearing Kyouka’s bunny hoodie. The second one.   

Which was proving to be really, really warm. Hot even, and he had a feeling it wasn’t all from the exercise.

He turned towards Akutagawa who was opening another water bottle, seemingly not really caring that his sister walked in on them holding each other close, just waltzing away in one of the many fitness rooms the Port Mafia building had. Atsushi knew now he should’ve pushed for something more reclusive, but Akutagawa’s botherless behavior tricked him into thinking it was okay.

… it was okay. But it was also … embarrassing. 

“Hey, so … did you talk to your sister about me and kept calling me weretiger? Is this what just happened?” he asked in an attempt to calm himself down, debating if he should open a window or shed the hoodie.  

Akutagawa’s lips quirked once again, a drop of water running from his mouth and down his neck.

Atushi felt even hotter as a result. His tiger really wanted to lick his neck now.

Behave.

“I thought she knew that was your name,” Akutagawa said, brushing the stray drop away, unable to hold back a smirk.

“Well, you see, it’s not my name.” Atsushi stepped closer, mustering up a puppy glare. It wasn’t very effective.

“It is your name.”

“It’s not.”

The weretiger had enough at this point; he grabbed his hoodie, peeling it off him.

“It …” Akutagawa’s words faltered a bit while the detective struggled to push his t-shirt down, exposing his stomach in the process. “… is.”

The weretiger froze mid-stretch, unintentionally putting his abs on display. And with his hoodie comically stuck around his head.

“I just realized something,” he said, voice full of concern, not noticing how the vampire seemed to be running hotter now also.

Akutagawa cleared his throat and stepped closer, decidedly pulling his shirt down for him, then helping him remove the hoodie. He pretended he was annoyed, but Atsushi could tell he was being really careful where he touched or pulled.

“We don’t have time for that, weretiger,” he sighed as Atsushi’s head finally popped out. The vampire then even folded the hoodie for him and neatly put it on a chair.

“Well … I think you’ve been dancing as a woman.” The vampire raised his eyebrows. Atsushi grabbed him by his hands, putting them in position once again. It felt quite natural after all the practice they’d had.

He took his right hand in his left, Akutagawa resting his hand on his shoulder as Atsushi … put his right arm around his waist.

A moment of silence passed as they looked at each other.

“I’m never escaping the girlfriend allegations, am I,” Atsushi whispered, and Akutagawa facepalmed.

“I knew I should’ve asked Chuuya,” he claimed as he tore away from the embrace and sat down on the bench, facepalm still going.

“What? Why?” Atsushi sounded a little butthurt because he was. He was an excellent partner! Who just didn’t notice they’d been doing it the other way around …

Akutagawa gave him the side eye.

“Because he knows how to dance.”

The weretiger sat next to him, their knees touching.

“Okay, fair.” He looked at him, giving him a big smile. “I had fun though.”

The look lasted a little longer than it should. It was like they were both trying to say something else but ultimately let it go.

“Yeah.”

The vampire handed him the water bottle, the one he’s already drank from, and the weretiger gladly accepted.

“We have a little more time,” he said once he checked the clock, “want to switch?”

Akutagawa shook his head.

“I have to go prepare,” he said as he stood up, putting on a hoodie. “Maybe I’ll just find a man to dance with,” he said as nonchalantly as he said everything else. 

Atsushi found himself quite bothered by the comment. The thought of him dancing with other people hasn’t actually crossed his mind, even though Akutagawa asked him (demanded) to help him practice for that very purpose.

… I don’t like this.

Especially the man part.

“Is that allowed,” he asked and forced himself to laugh, jumping up, trailing behind him.

Akutagawa shrugged.

“I don’t care.”

Atsushi liked and disliked his answer at the same time.

Please don’t say anything dumb. I’m begging me.

“Don’t go falling in love though. I just got my sleeping habits in check, you know,” he said in an awkward attempt to get him to promise he’ll never sleep next to another man. It’s just that they’ve had such a good thing going!

Akutagawa looked over his shoulder at that, the bunny ears bouncing on his back.

Ah, annoyed and entertained, my favorite combination.

“… stupid,” he murmured and left the weretiger to close to door and run after him.

*

Atsushi was lounging on his brand-new bed, the one he’s been dying to show Akutagawa, but they somehow always ended up sleeping at the mafioso’s apartment lately. All the places they’d been eating or hanging out at were in the city center, after all. It was just more convenient.

… and objectively better, but Atsushi had a brand-new bed goddamnit.

He sighed. He’s been trying to read a book to get his mind off his dance partner but couldn’t focus. Akutagawa was attending a ball alone on a fancy cruise ship, the kind that had rich and beautiful people on it. Something about that bothered Atsushi immensely. Why wasn’t he there with him?

His phone pinged with a notification.

“Oh.”

Akutagawa sent him a picture. It was his reflection in a mirror. He was wearing a gorgeous black tuxedo, obviously tailor made, with cute silver accents here and there. His hair looked great, and his figure looked great, and his face looked great, and …

Atsushi stared at it for another minute before typing his response.

A: Wow

You look good

Three dots appeared soon after.

R: I know.

Thanks.

He somehow knew he had that smug look on his face while he typed that.

… as he should, of course. He was fucking gorgeous. That waist of his was … unbelievable. He should know; he was lucky enough to have been touching it all day.

A: Have fun!

R: It’s work, weretiger.

A: Talk to me when youre finished??

R: It’ll be late.

A: I think I’ll be up.. :)

R: Are you that helpless without me, weretiger?

Atsushi snickered into his pillow. He actually wasn’t all that helpless lately; he really did get his sleeping habits in line, even if Akutagawa wasn’t always there to pet the sleeplessness away.

But he decided to entertain it anyways.

A: …

R: Fine. I’ll text you.

Atsushi got back to his book, feeling less on edge than he did before; it felt comforting knowing Akutagawa was thinking of him.

He didn’t even realize when he started drifting off, and before he knew it, he was dancing with Akutagawa. The ballroom was big and shiny, and Atsushi was wearing the mafioso’s tux, but a white version of it. Everyone was there; everyone he wanted and didn’t want to know about their … situation. But it didn’t matter, because they were all cheering.

The cheering got louder and louder … until it woke him up.

His phone was ringing.

He blearily looked up at the screen before accepting the call, the phone almost falling on his face while attempting that.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked as lively as he could, but he’s been asleep for a few hours at that point.

“… I woke you up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You finished?” he said as he rubbed at his eyes, thinking maybe he’ll finally get to throw him on his bed.

… he was closer to the port where the cruise ship was bound to dock.

“No.”

He wanted to sigh in disappointment but yawned instead. He then waited for him to elaborate why he was calling, but Akutagawa stopped responding; he only realized that because he almost fell back asleep.

“Uh, Ryuunosuke? Did you say some–”

“Someone tried to kiss me.”

Atsushi opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, not fully convinced that he was really awake.

He turned on his hip, and grabbed onto the edge of the bed as if he was afraid he might fall off.

“Did you want them to?” he finally managed to say after what was probably a painfully long wait.  He just wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was. Was he supposed to be happy? Cheer him on?

“… I wouldn’t have minded it.”

He let go of the edge of the bed and grabbed at his own chest with his hand instead. Something hurt in there and he wanted to ease it somehow.

“Okay,” he answered as unaffected as he could, thankful he could write off his crankiness to the fact he literally just woke up. “It’s probably better for the cover to blend in though, right?” Being supportive. Yay.

“Do you want me not to kiss other people.”

…

Atsushi slowly sat up on the bed, covering his eyes with his hand like it could make him think better, but his mind sort of went … blank.

“I don’t think I get a say in that, Ryuunosuke,” he said, softly.

“I want you to.”

Fuck.

Was he going to undermine every uncomplete answer he gave him? Demanding to know things that Atsushi himself didn’t realize yet about himself?

He looked up at the ceiling, forcing himself to smile despite knowing it didn’t mean much to Akutagawa. It ached a little.

“It’s your job. You do what you have to, right?” Cheerful. Easy.

“No. I do what I want.”

…

“Then why are you asking me?” None of the painful cheerfulness made it through. He sounded exactly like he felt; tired and more than a little sad.

“You said you didn’t want me romantically involved with other people,” Akutagawa reminded him. “I’m trying to understand to what extent.”

…

He took too long thinking it over again. Akutagawa repeated his question. Not impatiently, just … determined.

“Do you want me not to kiss other–”

“Yes.”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

…

“Okay. Good.”

There were music and chatter in the background, and his hearing wasn’t that good anyway, but he hoped Akutagawa’s heart was beating at least half as fast as his own.   

“Ryuunosuke?” His eyes were still closed, his hand back to gripping the edge of the bed.

“Yes.”

“See you soon?” It wasn’t a real question. He just had to say something.

“Yes.”

Okay, I might have a heart attack if we speak any longer.

“All right. You should … uh, get back to work,” he uselessly suggested as he slowly laid back on his new bed.

“Yes.” A moment of silence. “Good night.”

He let Akutagawa hang up. And then stared at the blackened screen for a minute, unsure what the hell they had just agreed to.

Minutes passed, and he was still all jittery, like something big just happened. He felt like jumping up and down the street until morning but at the same time hiding under the covers for all eternity.

… he suspected he needed a good night’s sleep for all the emotions to settle down, to think more clearly.

No jumping to conclusions until then. Okay?  

… well, not until he could see and talk to Akutagawa. He had faith that they could figure this one out together.

Like the two of them always did.