Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I understand the temptation,” Yori says, “but I still cannot let you eat Nutella.”

“I know, I know.” Ron says. “Stupid hazelnut allergy. It just sounds so good. It’d be so tasty in a donut for Hannukah.”

“Chocolate pudding would be just as good.” Yori says. “And not kill you.”

“Fine.”

Beep-beep-beep

“What’s up Olivia?”

“A bunch of artifacts are being stolen from museums.” Olivia says.

“Is there a reason regular agents can’t handle it?” Ron asks.

“Well, according to Yamanouchi, the artifacts are part of a set that can reveal the location of the Ruyi Jingu Bang.”

“The staff of the Monkey King!” Yori exclaims. “It can grant great power to it’s true master. In the wrong hands…”

“Yeah, probably not good.” Ron says. “It’s gotta be Monkey Fist, right?”

“He’s still a statue at Yamanouchi.” Yori says.

“DNAmy?”

“She hasn’t attempted anything evil since you introduced her to Doctor Lurkin.” Olivia says.

“Then who else would be so obsessed with Mystic Monkey Power?”

“To use an American phrase: it looks like a new player has entered the game.” Yori says.

“Spot on!” Olivia exclaims. “Oh, Joss is coming with you guys.”

“What?!” Ron exclaims. “Why?”

“Her shifu contacted her and told her to. Apparently.” Olivia explains. “She made it clear that it’s not up for negotiation.”

“We’ll pick her up in the jet.” Ron says.

Ron hangs up.

The one mission were monkeying around would be a good thing.

Chapter Text

“So, can you tell us anything about the thief?” Yori asks.

“Never saw them.” Says the security guard. “The cameras never caught anything. We didn’t notice anything missing until we came to open the exhibit.”

“Well, thank you for your help.” Yori says.

“I only wish I could have been more helpful.” He says.

Yori heads to the monitor room. Joss is working at the computers.

“I think I may have something.” Joss says. “I can tell you the approximate time it went missing.”

“Oh? How?”

“The camera feed watching the exhibit shows it’s still there at 4:55. Then it skips to 5:00 and it’s gone.”

“So, there was a five-minute window in which our artifact was stolen.”

“Yep.” Joss says. “Oh, hey, we can see Ron in the exhibit room.”

Yori calls Ron.

“Did you find anything useful?” Yori asks.

“The security on this room is pretty tight.” Ron says. “Entrances are locked until opening, several cameras watching the room, sensors on the case…the best bet for getting in and out would have been to use the skylight.”

“Is that something that can be pulled off in five minutes?” Joss asks.

“If you’re prepared. And a ninja.” Ron says. “I don’t think an average thief could do it. We’re definitely dealing with a pro.”

“An unknown pro who we have no way of stopping.” Joss says.

“We have one way.” Yori says.

“How?” Ron asks.

“I know what they’re after next.” Yori says.

“Great!” Ron asks. “What is it?”

“He’s already stolen Zhu Baije’s Rake and Sha Wujing’s Spade.” Yori says. “The only thing left is Sun Wukong’s Golden Headband.”

“Great.” Joss says. “Do you know where it is?”

“Yes.” Yori says. “It is at the National Museum in New Delhi.”

“Good job, Yori.” Ron says. “Everyone to the jet. I’ve got some phone calls to make.”

***

“I have gathered you all here today to discuss a matter of importance.” Will says.

The Unstoppables, along with Artie and Olivia, are gathered around the table. Will has a chart pulled up on the jumbo screen with pictures of all of them on it.

“We never actually determined the team’s hierarchy.” Will says.

There are several groans from the team.

“Is that really important?” Bonnie asks.

“We should determine ahead of time who should lead missions if Ron’s not available.” Will says.

“He’s got a point.” Gil says. “Going into missions without some kind of a plan isn’t a good idea.”

“And someone’s got to talk to the press.” Tara says.

“Well, Will and Yori have the second-most experience in all of this, after Ron.” Monique says.

“Alright, I’ll move Yori and I up to second place.” Will says. “Now, I believe Monique should be in third.”

“Why?” Brick asks.

“She may not have much field experience,” Will says, “but she did receive unique training that would make her do better than average at this.”

“That makes sense.” Larry says.

“Bonnie will be fourth.”

“I will?” Bonnie asks.

“You have excellent leadership skills.” Will says. “And you have had good ideas on missions.”

“Thanks.” Bonnie says.

“If something happens to make all of us unavailable, panic.” Will says.

“I figure one of us will step up.” Brick says. “Probably not me, though.”

“You were a quarterback.” Zita says.

“That doesn’t mean I was leading the team.” Brick says. “And football is very different from saving the world.”

“That’s okay.” Tara says. “Not everyone’s cut out to lead, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Just then, an alarm starts blaring.

“What is that?!” Monique exclaims.

“It’s to alert us to imminent danger.” Will says. He presses something on his tablet and the screen switches to show the highway.

“What is that?!” Tara asks, pointing at the screen.

Clearly, she’s referring to the giant rock monster rampaging across the highway.

“It’s clearly trouble.” Will says. “And we have to stop it.”

“Have fun!” Artie says. Then whispering to Olivia, “why were we invited to this?”

“I think you were added to the chat by mistake.” Olivia whispers back.

The team suits up and leaves.

“Well, I better get back to these files.” Olivia says. “I promised Joss that I’d review them while she’s away.”

“Is it cool if I just hang here for a bit?” Artie asks.

“Sure.”

“Sweet!” Artie says. “Where’s the cafeteria? I need food.”

“Just follow the signs.”

“Got it. See ya.”

***

“So, Will, do you have an actual plan for fighting this thing?” Bonnie asks.

“Josh, Brick, Tara, Monique, and Justine, clear the civilians.” Will says. “Everyone else, hit it with all you’ve got. This thing has to have some kind of weakness.”

“Got it!” Bonnie says.

Gotta love having real star power!

Chapter Text

National Museum, New Delhi, India

“According to the curator,” Yori says, “any artifact not on display is in this room.”

“And this is the box number we’re looking for.” Ron says. “Shouldn’t take too long to find.”

“I would hope not.” An unfamiliar voice says. “I like to keep my trips short.”

They turn around to see an East Asian man with a monkey tail.

“Let me guess…five minutes long?” Joss says.

“Clever girl.” The man says. “Maybe you’re not such a disappointment after all.”

Joss looks shocked and upset when he says that.

“Who are you to say that?” Ron asks angrily.

“Allow me to introduce myself.” He says. “I go by Macaque. And I’m here for that headband.”

“You’ll have to go through us, first.” Joss says.

“Well, if that’s how you want it.” Macaque says. “Game on!”

***

Artie has the feeling that he should be doing something. He’s not sure what, exactly, but he’s sure hanging around Global Justice isn’t it.

The answer hits him while he’s eating a veggie wrap:

He’s supposed to be helping.

***

“Olivia, I need transportation to the fight with the golem!” Artie says.

“Not going to happen.” Olivia says. “You’re not a field agent. You’re not any kind of agent. And I can’t arrange transportation anyways.”

“We both know that last one is a lie.” Artie says. “Please, Olivia. Haven’t you ever felt like you’re supposed to be doing something?”

“…yeah.”

“Well, I’m supposed to be there. Helping.”

Olivia sighs. “Fine. I’ll arrange transportation for us to join the fight.”

“Us?”

“I’m not letting you go without me. Even if it is a terrible idea.”

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You’ve had other friends?”

“Hey!”

“C’mon. We’ve got a golem to fight.”

***

The hard part about fighting a master martial artist in a museum storage room is trying not to break anything.

Thus, it’s not really their fault that he gets a hold of the headband and runs off.

Yori and Ron chase after him. Joss follows a second later, delayed only by the need to carefully put some artifacts down.

***

Ron and Yori are hot on this guy’s tail. He makes it all the way to the main lobby when Ron tackles him.

In the ensuing tumble, Macaque drops the headband.

Ron drops the Lotus Blade.

They’re still fighting with each other when Yori arrives.

Yori joins in.

“Two against one?” Macaque says. “Are you really so pathetic you need someone to save you?”

“There’s nothing wrong with needing help.” Ron says.

“Have it your way, then.” Macaque says. Small red portals appear and, suddenly, Macaque is holding the Nine-Toothed Rake and the Crescent Moon Spade. “This is the kind of help I prefer.”

Well, Ron hadn’t been prepared for that!

***

Joss makes it to the main lobby just in time to see Macaque summon a rake and a spade. She also notices the headband lying on the floor.

And from what she remembers about the headband, it might be useful…

***

While heading over to the golem, a car is thrown in Artie and Olivia’s direction.

Artie moves in front of Olivia as the car gets closer…

CRUNCH!

The car hits a force field.

Artie now has blond hair and a red, white, and gold costume. He’s wielding a sword.

“I think I’d like to be called…Excalibur.” Artie says.

“I can work with that.” Olivia says. “Now, c’mon. Merlin needs your help.”

***

Joss manages to put the headband on Macaque and recite the incantation.

He howls in pain and launches Yori across the room.

Unfortunately, putting the headband on someone wielding the rake and the spade seems to be the trick to revealing the location of the Ruyi Jingu Bang:

Mount Everest.

Macaque lunges at Joss and grabs her by her suit.

“You are a disappointment.” He growls. “Defective. Too weak to fight on your own so you rely on tricks and tools. Pathetic.”

“Leave her alone!” Ron shouts.

Macaque drops Joss and lunges at Ron with the spade.

“And you are an annoyance. You’ve stopped every single one of my plans because of your foolish ideals.”

“I only just met you.” Ron says. “How did I stop anything?”

“Building the disruptor. Recovering the battery.”

“You’re with the people that made Joss.” Ron says, thoroughly surprised.

“It took you this long to figure that out?” He asks. “How can someone as dumb as you stop my plans?”

“I’m not dumb!” Ron exclaims.

“You’re not going to be anything for much longer.” Macaque is trying to lower the blade to Ron’s throat. Ron is holding him back but can’t hold out for much longer.

Across the room, Yori snaps out of being dazed in time to see Macaque lowering the spade to Ron’s throat.

No! Yori thinks. I can’t lose any more family!

Yori reaches her hand out to help…

THWACK!

The sound the Lotus Blade made as it collided with Macaque on its way to Yori’s hand was satisfying.

Macaque gets up and seems to evaluate his options.

“I got what I came here for.” Macaque says. He presses a button on his suit and a red portal appears and takes him away.

“We gotta get to Everest before he does.” Ron says.

“Agreed” Yori says.

“You okay to come with us?” Ron asks Joss.

“I’m fine.” Joss says. “Shaken up, but fine.”

“Alright then. Let’s get going.” Ron says. “Everyone try to get some rest. Otto will let us know when we’re close.”

Chapter Text

“There’s a protection spell on it!” Larry exclaims. “And a powerful one, too. I can’t break it on my own.”

“Do we have any other spell casters?” Amelia asks.

“Not at the moment.” Larry says.

“Isn’t there a way to boost your power?” Tara asks.

“Not unless you have a wand.” Larry says.

“How about a sword?” Artie asks as he arrives.

There’s a pause before Larry speaks again.

“Yeah, that’ll work.”

***

Fighting a giant rock monster is a really inconvenient time for Justine to lose her leg.

“What the heck?!” Monique exclaims. “What happened?!”

“I mentioned I got my portal powers from an accident with my latest kinematic continuum disruptor, right?” Justine asks.

“And, what, sent your leg to another dimension?” Bonnie asks.

“I don’t think so.” Justine says. “I’m pretty sure it was vaporized.”

“The fake one looks so real.” Tara says.

“My sister made it.” Justine explains. “This is nothing for her; she had a robot boyfriend that was very convincing as a human.”

“She should make it attach better.” Will says. “This is very inconvenient right now.”

“Admittedly, heroics was not something it was designed for.” Justine says. “She’s going to flip when I tell her.”

“Do you think Larry’s figured out how to amplify his power yet?” Tara asks.

As if on cue, a beam of magic hits the golem in the center of its chest.

“I’d say yes.” Amelia says.

***

“You have to aim at the golem’s heart.” Olivia says. “That’s the only way to break the protection spell.”

“Got it.” Artie says. “Uh…where is it’s heart?”

“It’s the weird mark on the center of the chest.” Larry says. “Use your sword to aim.”

“Got it.” Artie says. “Here goes nothing.”

Here goes everything!

***

The monster shimmers for a bit, before the shimmer seems to dissipate.

“Did that break the protection spell?” Brick asks.

“Yes.” Larry says. “It should be as vulnerable as regular stone now.”

“Well, then,” Will says, “let’s make gravel.”

The Unstoppables charge in.

Chapter Text

“So, any idea where on Mount Everest the staff is?” Ron asks.

“In the stories I remember, there should be a statue of a monkey holding the staff.” Joss says.

“Thousands of people have climbed this mountain,” Ron says, “none of them ever saw a monkey statue.”

“Their goal was to get to the top.” Yori says. “Perhaps it is not on the mountain, but in it?”

“Hmm…Otto, scan the mountain for any cave entrances.”

“Scanning complete.” Otto says. “There are five cave entrances.”

“We can’t go in that many.” Ron says.

“Is there anything unusual about any of them?” Joss asks.

“One of the entrances is blocked.” Otto says.

“Yeah, that’s the one we need.” Ron says. “Drop us there, Otto.”

***

“So, how do we open it?” Joss asks.

“Well, Ron-san was able to break a tree at Yamanouchi.” Yori says.

“If I try to break this cave open, I could cause a rock slide or an avalanche.” Ron says.

“Oh, right.” Yori says. “We should not do that then.”

“There’s something on this rock.” Joss says. “Some kind of symbol carved into it.”

“It is a symbol that represents Mystic Monkey Power.” Yori says.

“Maybe it means the cave can only be opened by someone with Mystic Monkey Power?” Joss says. “That’d be you guys.”

“I do not think I count.” Yori says.

“Sensei told me that the Lotus Blade can only be wielded by someone with Mystic Monkey Power.” Ron says. “You were able to wield it. Ergo, you have mystic monkey power.”

“I still do not think I can do this.” Yori says.

“You believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.” Ron says. “Let me do the same for you.”

Ron offers Yori his hand, which she accepts.

“Alright, so, we start by breathing…”

Ron and Yori glow blue and red, and the door opens.

“Alright, let’s go!” Joss says before running in.

“You did great.” Ron says.

“I had great help.” Yori says.

“Are you guys comin’ or not?” Joss yells.

“Coming!” They both yell back.

***

“You know, despite being creepy, not a lot of horror movies take place in caves.” Joss says.

“How do you know that?” Ron says.

“I had a lot of free time and no friends.” Joss says.

“You still shouldn’t have been watching horror movies.” Ron says.

“Pa didn’t pay much attention to what I watched on TV.” Joss says.

“No wonder the courts decided to emancipate you.” Ron says.

“Yeah, well…” Joss just trails off and looks sad.

“I’m sorry.” Ron says. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s not what you said.” Joss says. “It’s just…have you ever thought someone was perfect, and then one day, one comment makes you rethink things? And suddenly you’re seeing all the ways they were bad to you and you’re torn between still caring about them but realizing they’re probably not good for you?”

“Actually, yes.” Ron says.

“Right.” Joss says. “Your breakup with my cousin was pretty bad, huh?”

“It was.” Ron says. “But I ended up okay.”

“It’s just…Pa’s in trouble, that much I’m sure of.” Joss says. “And I wanna help him. But…I don’t want to go back to livin’ with him after we save him.”

“You won’t have to.” Ron says. “I’ll make sure of that.”

“Thanks.” Joss says.

“So, what else is bothering you?” Ron asks.

“It’s nothing.” Joss says. “I mean, it’s not nothing. I just…don’t think I’m cut out to be a hero.”

“What? That’s crazy!” Ron says. “You’ve got some great moves! And awesome powers!”

“Yeah, but I nearly killed someone on my last mission.” Joss says. “Maybe being a battery is really all that I can be.”

“Look, ignore what they say.” Ron says. “One thing I learned the hard way is that you’re the one who decides what you’re meant to be. Not anyone else.”

“Thanks.” Joss says. “I wish you could’ve been my actual brother, you know?”

“Blood doesn’t make a family. Love does.” Ron says. “So, consider yourself family.”

Joss hugs him.

“We should get going.” Ron says, right before he bumps into Yori.

“Why’d we stop?” Joss asks.

“Because we’re here.” Yori says.

The tunnel they’re in opens up to a large room with pillars around it and a large set of stairs in the middle. At the top of the stairs is a monkey statue.

“We found it!” Ron exclaims.

“Thank you so much for finding it for me.” Macaque says. “But I’m afraid your journey ends here.”

***

“How many people are we having over for Hannukah this year?” Gloria asks while preparing for the party.

“Hmm…Ron’s list of people to invite is quite large.” Elliot says. “I’m not sure we can fit them all in the house.”

Ringringring!

“Hello?” Elliot answers his phone.

“Elliot, it’s Dash.” Dash DaMont says.

“Oh, hello. How can I help you?”

“It has occurred to us that your Hannukah party is going to be quite large. Are you sure you can fit everyone in your house?”

“Actually, no, we’re not.”

“Then allow me to suggest an alternative venue.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Chapter Text

Honestly, Ron may like that villains get harder in video games as your character levels up, but he’s kind of wishing that didn’t apply to real life.

Macaque is tough. And angry. Not a good combination.

Ron manages to make it to the statue and pulls on the staff, but nothing happens.

“Yori, switch!” Ron calls.

“What?” Yori exclaims.

“You grab the staff, I’ll fight him!”

“Are you sure this’ll work?”

“We don’t have any other ideas!”

“Okay, sure!”

Ron’s consumed enough superhero media to know how the twist works. He’s the red herring, and in a few seconds, Yori will have pulled the staff out of the statue and –

“It’s not coming out!” Yori yells.

“What?!” Ron exclaims. “How is that possible?!”

Macaque flings Ron to the side and walks over to the staff. He shoves Yori down the stairs when she stands in his way.

“Don’t you get it?” Macaque says. “The staff will only yield to it’s true master. That’s me. I am the Monkey King.”

“More like Monkey Kook!” Joss says. She jumps on his back but he quickly grabs her and brings her around to his front.

“You are more trouble than it was ever worth to make you!” Macaque says. “You are a pathetic disappointment who should’ve never been created in the first place.”

“I am not pathetic!” Joss shouts before hitting him with a hard punch. “I am not a disappointment!” Another punch. “I am not just a battery!” Kick. “And I am tired of your people thinkin’ you get to decide what I’m worth!” Strike. “You can think whatever you want about me, say whatever you want about me, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to you!”

Joss grabs the staff…

The statue crumbles…

And Macaque goes flying over Ron and Yori’s heads.

“And it looks like I’m the Monkey King. You’re just a chimp.”

Macaque once again escapes through a red portal.

“Okay, that’s awesome and all,” Ron says, “but since when do you wield Mystic Monkey Power?”

“I think since…always.” Joss says. “And that…we’re supposed to be here, together.”

“I know what you mean.” Yori says. “It feels like we’re connected.”

They begin walking through the tunnel to the exit. Ron presses the button on his phone for Otto to come retrieve them.

“Maybe people with Mystic Monkey Power are connected to each other?” Ron says.

“Well, we do all have matching tails.” Yori says.

Joss is surprised to notice she's grown a green tail. It matches her hair.

“But why are you green?” Ron asks.

“Green’s my favorite color.” Joss says.

“Red is my favorite color.” Yori says.

“I don’t have a favorite color.” Ron says. “It wouldn’t be fair to the other colors.”

“Don’t ever change, Ron-san.” Yori says, amused.

“Oh, hey, I almost forgot!” Ron says. “Joss, you wanna join my family for Hannukah?”

“I’d like that.” Joss says. “Pa and I never had parties.”

“Well, you are family.” Ron says. “It’d feel wrong to not invite you.”

They make it out to the landing. Otto is waiting for them.

“Everyone, feel free to rest on the flight home.” Ron says. “We’ve earned it.”

Chapter Text

“Well, this place is certainly big enough.” Elliot says, looking around the resort. “But why did you want to invite so many people, son?”

“Well, they’re my friends.” Ron says. “They’re like family that I got to choose. I thought it’d be nice to spend the holiday with them.”

“That’s sweet.” Gloria says.

“It’s nice that you have so many people who love and care about you.” Elliot says.

Ron looks around at all the people there that day.

“Yeah, it really is.” Ron says.

“And it was nice of you to invite your cousin Reuben and his family.” Gloria says.

“Well, this’ll be little Sloppy Joe’s first Hannukah party.” Ron says.

“Oh my god!” Sarah Stoppable exclaims. “Is that why you suggested we name our baby Joseph?”

Luckily, her anger is interrupted by Joss calling from the stove.

“Latkes are ready!” Joss exclaims. She had insisted on helping cook something.

“Alright!” Ron exclaims. “C’mon, everyone! Let’s eat!”

While everyone is gathered around the table with their food, Gloria says a few words.

“Now, as I’m sure you all know,” Gloria begins, “the story of Hannukah is a story of miracles. At our house, we’d take turns talking about the miracles that happened to us this year. But, if we did that today, we’d still be going after Hannukah’s over.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“So, Ronnie, how about you just tell us what your miracles are?”

Ron starts to look nervous. Bonnie, catching on, squeezes his hand.

“You’ve got this.” She says.

Ron stands up.

“Honestly, I have been through a lot this year.” Ron says. “A lot of it was…not good. But I have also had a lot of good things happen this year. And most of it was because I had great people to help me through it all. So, I guess my miracle is all of you.” Ron raises his glass and everyone else raises theirs in agreement.

“Now, let’s eat!” Ron says.

Soon enough, everyone is eating and chatting amongst themselves.

Yeah, this is definitely a miracle.

***

“It’s in Morse code.” Crash says, holding a piece of paper. “From what I can tell, it’s coordinates, and a name.”

“What’s the name?” Burn asks.

“Jocasta.” Crash says. “Unless I translated it wrong.”

“We don’t know anyone by that name.” Dash says. “Why would they send it here?”

“Maybe we know someone who knows someone?” Crash says.

“Maybe.” Dash says. “But for now, we should get back to the party.”

“Yeah,” Burn says, “the kids will be disappointed in us if we miss this for work.”

“And we’ll miss out on those donuts.” Dash says.

“Well, then, we better get going.” Crash says. “We can figure out who Jocasta is another time.”

***

“Your father had blueprints for a modified kinematic continuum disruptor?” Justine explains. “How did your father get this?”

“I have no idea.” Joss says. “When did you make them?”

“I haven’t.” Justine says. “I mean, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. But I never actually put those thoughts on paper. Or even a computer file.”

“Wait, what’s that?” Artie says. “That looks like numbers.”

“It’s a date.” Justine says. “One that hasn’t happened yet.”

“Well, you’re right.” Artie says. “You haven’t made those plans yet.”

“I refuse to believe I willingly made them for villains.” Justine says. “But, more importantly, how did your father get these?”

“He stole them from the people who made me.” Joss says.

“Were they time-travelers?” Artie asks.

“I don’t know.” Joss says.

“At least you’ll have help figuring it out.” Justine says. “Is it okay if I send a copy of this to myself?”

“Oh, sure!” Joss says. “That’s the email program.”

“And, sent!” Justine says. “Once I’ve spent more time reviewing the file, I can tell you what the modifications are supposed to do.”

“Thanks.” Joss says.

“No problem.” Justine says.

“So, now that you’re done with your tech talk,” Artie says, “can you hand me that jam?”

“You can’t eat it all.” Joss says while handing it to Artie. “Other people are supposed to get some too.”

“Got it.” Artie says. “But no promises.”

***

“That DNA sample Joss gave to Global Justice to run on the monkey guy yielded…interesting results.” Olivia says.

“Interesting how?” Ron asks.

“Well, for starters, his monkey mutations aren’t genetic.” Olivia says. “And he’s of East Asian heritage.

“Is there more?” Ron asks.

“Yeah. Um…I’m only telling you because I don’t actually know how to tell Joss.” Olivia says. “That guy…he’s a fifty percent match to Joss.”

“What’s that mean, exactly?”

“Unless he’s got a much nicer identical twin…he’s her father.”

“But he’s such a jerk!” Ron exclaims. “How could someone as nice as Joss come out of someone as horrible as him?”

“A lot of things can contribute to someone’s personality.” Olivia says. “Not just genetics.”

“Fair.” Ron says. “Oh! That’s probably where she got her Mystic Monkey Powers from!”

“She has what?!” Larry exclaims.

“Oh, hey, didn’t see you there.” Ron says.

“Okay, even I didn’t see that coming.” Olivia says. Larry snorts a little.

“I feel like I missed the joke.” Ron says. “What did you guys do while I was gone?”

“Well, that’s a long story…” Larry says.

***

Ron has just gathered Joss and Yori to discuss what happened at Everest and tell Joss the news when all three of them start glowing. It’s very brief, but everyone’s concerned.

“What was that?” Yori asks.

“I don’t know.” Joss says. “It felt like…”

“Someone was pulling on the other end of a string.” Yori finishes.

“Weird.” Ron says. His phone starts ringing and he steps away to answer it. “Jim? Tim? What’s going on?”

“We thought we should warn you.” Jim says.

“Kim’s coming home earlier than expected.” Tim says.

“I thought she wanted to spend her winter break in London so it’d be easier than flying back for school?”

“She’s not just coming home for winter break.” Jim says.

“She’s coming home for good.” Tim says.

Ron is shocked.

“Thanks for warning me.” He says before hanging up.

“That didn’t sound good.” Joss says.

“You should sit down.” Yori says. “Whatever is going on, we’ll get through it together.”

“Yeah!” Joss says. “We are the three monkeys after all.”

“Not a very inspiring name,” Yori says, “but it’ll do for now.”

“Thanks guys.” Ron says. “I just need a moment.”

“What did you want to talk to us about?” Joss asks.

“Oh, the Macaque is your father.” Ron says distractedly.

“What?!” Joss exclaims.

“I did mean to break that to you gently.” Ron says, a bit upset. “Sorry.”

“Well, that explains a lot.” Joss says.

“It doesn’t mean you have to be like him.” Ron says.

“I know that.” Joss says. “But now I can’t help but wonder, if he’s my father, who’s my mother?”

***

“Since you have returned without a staff, I’m going to assume you failed.” Miss Gray says.

“I did.” Macaque says. “But only because it turns out the kid has Mystic Monkey Powers after all.”

“Does she?” Miss Gray asks. “Too bad her morals would keep her from joining us.”

“Well, we still have Project: Nike.”

“Indeed, we do.” Miss Gray says. “And it was just finished.”

“Really?” Macaque asks.

“Yes.” Miss Gray says. “The final result should be arriving any minute.”

“I don’t suppose you can take this off before it gets here?” Macaque asks while gesturing to the headband.

“Of course,” Miss Gray says, “we wouldn’t want that to be your first impression.”

She says some words and the headband comes off. Macaque places it on her desk.

“I’m sure we can find some use for it.” Miss Gray says.

Ubel arrives with a young teenager. They have ruddy brown hair, desert sand skin with freckles, and green eyes.

“Welcome to the world, Nike.” Miss Gray says. “We have big plans for you.”

“And what are we going to do about the pests?” Macaque asks.

“We’ve just created the perfect weapon for taking them down.” Miss Gray says. “But we’ll hold off on the fighting for a while. We’ll have a lot of research to do. And, with any luck, someone else will get to them before we do.”

***

“You may have defeated my golem, Merlin,” Morgan le Fay says, “but at least I now know where Arthur is!”

Her crystal ball shows an image of Artie.

“Now, let’s see what our heroes are really capable of…”