Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

EternalWisdom created the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

AroAceArtemis joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

AroAceArtemis: Hello

ApolLester: hi. you didn’t invite Zeus right?

EternalWisdom: No. I did, however, invite some of the minor gods

AroAceArtemis: Good

ApolLester: cool. who?

EternalWisdom: Most of them

AroAceArtemis: Did you invite Britomartis?

EternalWisdom: Yes

ApolLester: not Eros right?

EternalWisdom: …I didn’t want to

AroAceArtemis: Oh no

ApolLester: oh no

EternalWisdom: But then he found out and said that if I invited him to this group chat, then I would get a “Tell Eros No” free card, which means that if I don’t want him to manipulate someone’s emotions, I can order him not to once and he has to obey. He swore on the River Styx

LiteralGoddess<3 joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: hiii

LiteralGoddess<3: oh are we talking about eros

ApolLester: yeah about how apparently Athena invited him to the group chat even though he’s the fucking worst

EternalWisdom: He offered me a good deal

LiteralGoddess<3: okay i just read what athena said

LiteralGoddess<3: funny how she didn’t mention that eros also promised to give her a biscoff

EternalWisdom: That wasn’t part of it!
LiteralGoddess<3: yes it was. he bribed you with a free card and a cookie

AroAceArtemis: The hell is a Biscoff???

ApolLester: it’s like

ApolLester: idk a type of cookie/cracker thing i think

ApolLester: apparently Athena likes them

EternalWisdom: I DO NOT

LiteralGoddess<3: oh apollo

ApolLester: yeah?

LiteralGoddess<3: i learned that papadopoulos is also a type of cookie

ApolLester: oh no

ApolLester: don’t tell anyone please

LiteralGod>:) joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGod>:): what’s this about apollo’s mortal surname being a cookie?

ApolLester: NOOO

TheMessenger! joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

GodOfMadness joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

Spring&DeathQueen joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

TheMessenger!: Heyyy guys!

GodOfMadness: idk why Im here again

ApolLester: because you secretly love us

LiteralGod>:): because you want to gain information for blackmail purposes

LiteralGod>:): like apollo’s mortal last name papadopoulos being a cookie

TheMessenger!: LOL

ApolLester: NO NO BLACKMAIL

GodOfMadness: oh that is good blackmail information

AroAceArtemis: Alright that's enough

ApolLester: ty Artemis

AroAceArtemis: Only I’m allowed to humiliate Apollo

ApolLester: wow what a loving family i have

Spring&DeathQueen: Okay that was close

Spring&DeathQueen: Mother almost caught me being on the chat

Spring&DeathQueen: Hi everyone

ApolLester: hiii

AroAceArtemis: Hey

TheWestWind joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester: YOU

TheWestWind: uh oh

TheWestWind changed his username to: ImSorry

TheMessenger!: Whoa how did you do that???

EternalWisdom: Software update

TheMessenger: Ah okay

ApolLester: YOURE NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY YOU LITTLE BITCH

ImSorry: listen

ImSorry: ive reformed

ImSorry: im no longer killing anyones boyfriends because im jealous

ApolLester: doesn’t change the fact that you MURDERED Hyacinthus!

AroAceArtemis: I’m on Apollo’s side

TheMessenger!: Yeah murder isn’t good

LiteralGod>:): i’m on apollo’s side too but because he’s more likely to kill someone right now. and that’s fun

ImSorry: NO NO KILLING

ApolLester: GET OFF THIS GROUP CHAT AND I’LL SPARE YOUR PATHETIC LIFE

EternalWisdom: I hate to interrupt, but why is Zephyros joining the group chat a cause for homicide? You really can’t do anything here except block him

ApolLester: dammit Athena’s pulling out the logic and reason

ApolLester: because i’m the god of reason, i shall let you live

ApolLester: for now

ImSorry: thanks i guess

ApolLester: i swear to me if Eros suddenly joins the chat…

LiteralCupid</3 joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester: NOOOO

LiteralCupid</3: Hello

LiteralCupid</3: Oh apollo just mentioned my name lmao

AroAceArtemis: Fuck you Eros get out of here

LiteralCupid</3: But I was invited

LiteralCupid</3: I gave athena a biscoff. she loves them

EternalWisdom: HE DID NOT AND I DO NOT

ImSorry: how about everyone calms down

ApolLester: YOURE ALREADY ON THIN FUCKING ICE WITH ME ZEPHYROS

LiteralCupid</3: Where are my parents and why arent they defending me

LiteralGod>:): what parents? you don’t have parents

LiteralGoddess<3: yeah haha i see no parents of eros here

LiteralCupid</3: Thanks a lot mom and dad

GodOfMadness: to be fair Id disown you too if you were my son

ApolLester: i’ll spare Zephyros because i acted poorly then

ApolLester: BUT YOU

ApolLester: you made me chase after a woman who’d sworn to celibacy and you made her hate me

ApolLester: you practically made me try to ASSAULT her. you little SHIT

LiteralCupid</3: Oh no poor apollo is worried about his reputation

ApolLester: it’s not just that. you made Daphne basically commit suicide because of this. you ruined her life and manipulated our emotions

AroAceArtemis: Yeah Eros needs to die

Spring&DeathQueen: I agree. Consent is vital

ApolLester: AND THEN

ApolLester: YOU PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSED A CHILD (NICO DI ANGELO) TO FORCE HIM TO OUT HIMSELF

LiteralCupid</3: Okay but the kid was hiding

ApolLester: because he grew up in fucking Italy in the fucking 1930s!

ApolLester: you messed with my son’s boyfriend and you’re going down

TheMessenger!: Athena can you kick Eros out? No one likes him and he’s just making everyone upset

EternalWisdom: I’m sorry, we made a deal on the River Styx. I can’t take it back

LiteralCupid</3: She means she already ate her cookie

EternalWisdom: Nevermind, I can kick him out

LiteralCupid</3 was kicked from the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester: thank you 

AroAceArtemis: Thank you

TheMessenger!: Thank you

LiteralGoddess<3: ty

LiteralGod>:): thank you

Spring&DeathQueen: Thank you

EternalWisdom: You’re welcome

NetGain joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

YourMom joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

Spring&DeathQueen: Who is YourMom???

NetGain: You all know who I am ;)

AroAceArtemis: Hi Britomartis

ApolLester: i’m still slightly salty about you sending me on a death mission but i’ll let it slide

NetGain: Of course you will. I’m a net gain for this group chat, baby!

ApolLester: could you just not do that? thanks 

ApolLester: but yeah anyway

ApolLester: who’s YourMom?

YourMom: it’s your mom, Apollo

AroAceArtemis: No way

ApolLester: not Leto right?

YourMom: of course it’s Leto, how many moms do you have?

ApolLester: you don’t want to know

AroAceArtemis: Mother I didn’t know you knew about memes

YourMom: i’m a woman of culture

ApolLester: i have never been prouder to have you as a mother, Leto

YourMom: thank you!

TheNorthWind joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

TheNorthWind: hi

ApolLester: i feel like all the gods who have joined so far have some sort of connection to me and it’s getting suspicious

Spring&DeathQueen: whats your connection to Boreas?

LiteralGoddess<3: omg persephone i forgot you dont get any of the tea in the underworld

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo and boreas used to date

TheNorthWind: welp

TheNorthWind: this is getting awkward

ApolLester: uh huh

YourMom: i never thought you were good enough for my son, but i guess you’re better than CERTAIN OTHER people *glares at Commodus*

ApolLester: i mean, to be fair, you thought like, three people were good enough for me

ApolLester: but thanks for the support

GodOfMadness: zephyros was super jealous. I remember hearing that from Aphrodite

LiteralGoddess<3: lol he was it was very funny

Spring&DeathQueen: wait why was he jealous?

ImSorry: uh

ImSorry: i dont like where this is going

ApolLester: boohoo, West Wind

LiteralGoddess<3: he had a crush on apollo

Spring&DeathQueen: …i thought he was jealous of Apollo because of the Hyacinthus situation?

LiteralGoddess<3: he was

LiteralGoddess<3: but he also was bitter that apollo wouldnt date him

ApolLester: haha maybe try not being such a bitch if you want a date, Zephyros

ImSorry: your mean

ApolLester: and you’re a murderer. i wonder who’s worse?

ImSorry: listen

ImSorry: i regret my actions

ImSorry: but you were rude

ApolLester: and those four words reveal that you, in fact, do not regret your actions, as you are trying to pin the blame on other people

GodOfMadness: I know psychology, and apollo is correct

ApolLester: thx Dionysus :)

GodOfMadness: see if you called me diony then Id have to take it back

ApolLester: good thing i didn’t!

ImSorry: you know what

ImSorry changed his username to: TheWestWind

TheWestWind: im not fucking sorry

ApolLester: banned

TheWestWind was kicked from the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester: thank you Athena

EternalWisdom: Don’t say I don’t care about you

AroAceArtemis: Yeah you only sometimes blame Apollo for things you did, like a lamb to the slaughter

EternalWisdom: That was millennia ago. I’m sorry about that.

EternalWisdom: Besides, I don’t see you publicly challenging Father

LiteralGod>:): she got a point

YourMom: Ares, Athena, stop it. stop messing with my kids if you don’t want to get hurt

AroAceArtemis: You’re no good either Ares. Always being mean to Apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: oooo drama

AroAceArtemis: It’s always drama with you. You’re no better, Aphrodite. You make fun of Apollo for romantic tragedies he can’t control and take every chance you get to humiliate him

LiteralGoddess<3: so do you, you said so yourself

AroAceArtemis: FUCK YOU

TheMessenger!: um

GodOfMadness: dont get involved

ApolLester: uh

ApolLester: are my siblings arguing over who’s nicer to me?

NetGain: Aphrodite isn’t your sibling

ApolLester: she’s honorary

ApolLester: and i didn’t feel like typing “my siblings + Aphrodite”

EternalWisdom: Apollo, I genuinely regret pinning the blame on you when Zeus confronted us about the revolution all those years ago

ApolLester: yeah i know

AroAceArtemis: Apollo I’m sorry for not speaking up for you enough. I tried to help quietly but I know that isn’t enough and I’m sorry

ApolLester: yeah i know

LiteralGod>:): sorry apollo, i would’ve helped you out, but you know how father is. it’s hard to brave when he’s there, even if you’re me. i’m sorry

ApolLester: yeah i know

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo im sorry for being so mean and teasing you about things that must genuinely hurt

ApolLester: yeah i know

TheMessenger!: Apollo I’m sorry for never helping you when Father was being a jerk, I was scared I would be targeted if I spoke up. And I’m sorry for getting mad at you about May Castellan; I know it wasn’t your fault

ApolLester: yeah, i know

GodOfMadness: i guess im sorry or whatever for being rude or something

ApolLester: yeah i know

YourMom: Apollo, i’m sorry i wasn’t able to fight back against Zeus. he scared me but i should’ve stood up for you anyway

ApolLester: yeah

ApolLester: i know

ApolLester: but guys

ApolLester: WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING? WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

AroAceArtemis: We’re trying to be better people like you told us to

ApolLester: yeah but

ApolLester: why are you apologizing to me

ApolLester: about stuff that happened years ago

ApolLester: ON A FUCKING GROUP CHAT????

ItsMyHusbandsFault joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ItsMyHusbandsFault changed her username to: QueenOfHeaven

QueenOfHeaven: Apollo

QueenOfHeaven: Language

ApolLester: hey Hera!

ApolLester: nice username

EternalWisdom: Hello Hera. You missed the apology train

TheMessenger!: the APOLLOgy train? ;)

EternalWisdom: Absolutely not. No puns are allowed here.

AroAceArtemis: Trying to rebrand yourself as more than “wife of Zeus who keeps getting cheated on”? Or reminding us and yourself that you still have some control over your own life?

QueenOfHeaven: Very observant of you Artemis. Perhaps not all my husband’s spawn are little demons like he is

ApolLester: that’s all because of Leto’s genetics

YourMom: hello, Your Majesty

YourMom: please don’t curse me again

QueenOfHeaven: Oh I’m over petty stuff like that

QueenOfHeaven: I realize that it wasn’t really your fault. I hope you are able to find happiness.

QueenOfHeavens: Besides, our domains are both connected to some women’s roles in families, motherhood and marriage. It seems counterproductive to be enemies

YourMom: …oh. thank you

LiteralGoddess<3: i ship it

ApolLester: huh?

LiteralGod>:): same. cut out the middleman.

AroAceArtemis: Ship what?

AroAceArtemis: Oh

AroAceArtemis: Oh no

ApolLester: OH

ApolLester: LETO AND HERA???

YourMom: oh

QueenOfHeaven: …

LiteralGoddess<3: like ares said

LiteralGoddess<3: cut out the middleman in a love triangle and have the women date each other

LiteralGoddess<3: honestly when watching twilight i was rooting for jacob and edward to forget bella and get with each other

LiteralGoddess<3: i mean who likes zeus anyway?

LiteralGoddess<3: plus the ship names cute. lera. or maybe letera?

YourMom: …

QueenOfHeaven: ……

Spring&DeathQueen: okay I see the appeal in fiction

Spring&DeathQueen: but shipping actual people you know right in front of them is a bit much

Spring&DeathQueen: plus I’m pretty sure Mother has a crush on Leto

YourMom: wait what

LiteralGoddess<3: forget demeter! hera/leto is much more interesting!

YourMom: wait let’s get back to this Demeter business

Spring&DeathQueen: yeah 

Spring&DeathQueen: I think that’s why she wanted me to marry Apollo

ApolLester: yeah that was awkward

EternalWisdom: Demeter wanted Persephone to marry Apollo? Why?

Spring&DeathQueen: 1. We were childhood friends. I guess she thought that we were in love or something, or at least that we would get along. 2. She wanted me to marry someone important, and Apollo’s pretty important. Like, she wanted me to marry a god of doctors or lawyers or whatever, and Apollo’s pretty close to that. 3. She probably wanted Leto to be in the family.

EternalWisdom: Ah

TheMessenger!: …Weird

ApolLester: well uh

ApolLester: i think that’s enough for today

AroAceArtemis: Yeah that’s definitely enough

LiteralGoddess<3: aww but i wanted to keep talking!

EternalWisdom: This discussion was… interesting, but not particularly helpful in the long run

LiteralGoddess<3: well it was helpful in one way

LiteralGoddess<3: now everyone knows you like biscoffs and if we need to bribe you then we can just give you one

EternalWisdom: But I DON’T

ApolLester: i know! i’ll get Athena a package of Biscoffs for her birthday!

EternalWisdom: …Well, thank you

LiteralGod>:): lol she can’t resist the biscoffs

GodOfMadness: writing all this down for blackmail purposes

TheMessenger!: Maybe we can all pitch in and get Athena her biscoffs and Apollo his papadopoulos cookies

ApolLester: NO

TheNorthWind: what??? is this an inside joke?

QueenOfHeaven: Seems like it

YourMom: papadopoulos cookies?

YourMom: oh… like his last name. i get it now

ApolLester: OKAY BYE

ApolLester left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

Chapter Text

LiteralGoddess<3: joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

AroAceArtemis joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

GodOfMadness joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

UltimateAlly joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

Ganymede joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: guess what month it is!!

AroAceArtemis: How and why did you invite us?

LiteralGoddess<3: athena gave me mod powers temporarily

UltimateAlly: how did you get her to do that???

LiteralGoddess<3: i bribed her with a biscoff

Ganymede: A what?

AroAceArtemis: Don’t ask

GodOfMadness: why am I here

GodOfMadness: and whos ultimateally

UltimateAlly: Iris

LiteralGoddess<3: like i said

LiteralGoddess<3: GUESS WHAT MONTH IT S!!

AroAceArtemis: June

AroAceArtemis: Oh

UltimateAlly: IT’S PRIDE MONTH!! YESSS!

LiteralGoddess<3: YESSS ILY IRIS <33333

LiteralGoddess<3: PLATONICALLY

LiteralGoddess<3: i mean unless you dont want it to be platonic

UltimateAlly: I’m good, thanks

LiteralGoddess<3: okay so i figured that we’re all the queerest gods here so thats why i invited yall so we could do something for pride month

LiteralGoddess<3: wait wheres apollo i invited him too

GodOfMadness: hes at camp half-blood. I see him here

LiteralGoddess<3: whats he doing there???

GodOfMadness: beats me. Idk why anyone would want to be here

AroAceArtemis: He’s probably visiting his kids

Ganymede: Excuse me, why am I here?

LiteralGoddess<3: youre the god of homosexuality

LiteralGoddess<3: also we need to work on your username ganymede

Ganymede: Wait what?

UltimateAlly: yeah the gays have accepted you as a gay icon

UltinateAlly: I’m a general queer icon

Ganymede: Oh

GodOfMadness: and Im wasting my time here because…?

LiteralGoddess<3: dionysus youre like the genderfluid/trans icon of the gods

GodOfMadness: cool 

AroAceArtemis: And I’m an aroace icon I presume?

LiteralGoddess<3: yep

AroAceArtemis: What about you?

LiteralGoddess<3: i celebrate all forms of love and beauty! i think its important to encourage todays youth to accept who they are inside!

LiteralGoddess<3: but we need apollo here. hes like the god of being pan

GodOfMadness: thats actually pan

LiteralGoddess<3: shut up dont get all hermes on me

GodOfMadness: someone has to do it

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

UltimateAlly: WE SHALL SUMMON HIM!!

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

AroAceArtemis: I don’t see how that will work

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

GodOfMadness: girl chill

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

GodOfMadness: we dont need apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo

ApolLester joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester: WHAT?!

AroAceArtemis: Literally how did that work???

LiteralGoddess<3: there you are!

ApolLester: WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?

LiteralGoddess<3: feisty much

UltimateAlly: hiii Apollo

ApolLester: hi Iris

ApolLester: I’M TRYING TO HANG OUT WITH MY KIDS

ApolLester: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

LiteralGoddess<3: dont you want to celebrate pride month

ApolLester: THAT’S WHY I’M  WITH MY CHILDREN

LiteralGoddess<3: why are you so upset??

ApolLester: i am so sick of everyone here omg

ApolLester: you guys are the worst

ApolLester: i’m having a fucking breakdown and you’re all like “oh but apollo it’s time to celebrate”

ApolLester: haven’t seen my kids in a month and you’re like “come talk to us in a stupid group chat even though you have to deal with us all the time”

AroAceArtemis: Whoa brother

AroAceArtemis: You okay???

ApolLester: gee i wonder

ApolLester: i’ve only had immense trauma from Zeus being an asshole and making me into a mortal and before that threatening me so much that i changed myself into an idiot to seem like less of a threat

ApolLester: but yeah, sure, i’m fine, don’t worry about me

LiteralGoddess<3: oh

GodOfMadness: I could probably help you with that breakdown stuff

GodOfMadness: for a price

UltimateAlly: I doubt that’s helping

UltimateAlly: Apollo do you want one of my muffins?

ApolLester: no

AroAceArtemis: I’m sorry

AroAceArtemis: You can go be with your children

LiteralGoddess<3: yeah im sorry :(

LiteralGoddess<3: i didnt know

ApolLester: sorry

ApolLester: i just can’t be all chipper and ditzy right now

AroAceArtemis: You don’t need to be ditzy around us Apollo

ApolLester: but i do because y’all will worry and stuff if i’m not

ApolLester: or at least be confused and draw attention to it

ApolLester: ugh i’m just so tired

UltimateAlly: Aww Apollo

UltimateAlly: You don’t have to worry about what we feel

UltimateAlly: What’s important is being true to yourself

LiteralGoddess<3: yes! embrace yourself and love who you truly are <3

UltimateAlly: In fact I have a tshirt with that slogan. Do you want it?

ApolLester: thanks but no

ApolLester: a tshirt won’t help my ptsd

Ganymede: I wish I could say something to help you, but honestly I have no idea what would work and in any case, I’m no good at comforting, so…

ApolLester: no that’s okay

ApolLester: you have your own trauma to deal with

GodOfMadness: you have PTSD?

ApolLester: probably

GodOfMadness: I can help you with that

ApolLester: for a price right?

GodOfMadness: well

GodOfMadness: none of you better say anything about this

LiteralGoddess<3: ????

GodOfMadness: because I can and will blackmail

GodOfMadness: but I COULD help you for free

GodOfMadness: only apollo tho

ApolLester: oh

ApolLester: wow

ApolLester: that’s actually really nice. thank you

GodOfMadness: say nothing about this to anyone

GodOfMadness: cant go around helping just anybody for free

ApolLester: oh of course not

ApolLester: heaven forbid a god be kind for no reason

AroAceArtemis: Kindness is a weakness around here

LiteralGoddess<3: yeah

Ganymede: It’s almost a foreign concept

UltimateAlly: That is really sad

UltimateAlly: No wonder I quit my job

UltimateAlly: If any of you want to quit being at Olympus, you could come work at my health food store

ApolLester: what’s it called again?

UltimateAlly: Rainbow Organic Foods & Lifestyles. ROFL for short

LiteralGoddess<3: like rolling on the floor laughing?

UltimateAlly: What?

LiteralGoddess<3: rofl stands for rolling on the floor laughing in most parts of the internet

UltimateAlly: I don’t understand but okay

LiteralGoddess<3: what is there not to understand?

UltimateAlly: ANYWAY

UltimateAlly: If you guys want to you can come work at my store

ApolLester: thanks

ApolLester: i’ll try to stick it out for now though

AroAceArtemis: Same

ApolLester: anyway

ApolLester: i’m gonna go now. my children are probably wondering why i’m screaming and crying at a phone

LiteralGoddess<3: youre screaming and crying at your phone???

ApolLester: i’m exaggerating

GodOfMadness: Im watching you and it doesnt look like youre exaggerating

ApolLester: shush

ApolLester: message me later about your plans for Pride Month

ApolLester: i still want to do it

ApolLester: just not right now

AroAceArtemis: That sounds good; go relax for a while

UltimateAlly: Yeah take care of yourself!

Ganymede: We can make sure Zeus won’t come after you, so you have plenty of time to just chill

LiteralGoddess<3: stay safe. and im sorry

GodOfMadness: talk to me if you need help with your mental health

GodOfMadness: but remember: not a word about it to anybody

ApolLester: thx guys

ApolLester left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: what now?

AroAceArtemis: Good going Aphrodite

LiteralGoddess<3: I DIDNT KNOW

AroAceArtemis: I told you he was with his children! Didn’t you think he would not like to be bombarded by chat messages even if he was doing okay mentally?

LiteralGoddess<3: im sorryyyyy ;-;

LiteralGoddess<3: i didnt think hed be upset ;-;

UltimateAlly: Okay everyone chill

Ganymede: Yeah, there’s not really any sense in arguing

GodOfMadness: its entertaining tho

AroAceArtemis: Okay fine I’ll let it go

Ganymede: Oh, I have to go

Ganymede: Zeus is calling for me

LiteralGoddess<3: awww byeeee :(

AroAceArtemis: Oof. Good luck with that

GodOfMadness: what does he even want

Ganymede: Um

Ganymede: I’d rather not say

AroAceArtemis: Uh that’s concerning

AroAceArtemis: And kind of gross

UltimateAlly: I think that’s Zeus’s motto

UltimateAlly: “Concerning and kind of gross”

UltimateAlly: Maybe I should make a tshirt with that on it for his birthday

Ganymede: Well, have fun everyone!

Ganymede left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: just us gals now

AroAceArtemis: …And Dionysus?

GodOfMadness: honestly Im not even offended by that

LiteralGoddess<3: oh i forgot him lol

LiteralGoddess<3: but dionysus is his own thing

UltimateAlly: Dionysus is an enigma

UltimateAlly: Is he a woman? Is he a man? No one knows! They all just know he’s beautiful

GodOfMadness: pretty much

GodOfMadness: I remember people trying to insult me by calling me a bitch

GodOfMadness: and I was like “bitch is honestly my favorite insult. I purposefully try to be a bitch”

AroAceArtemis: Apollo does too

AroAceArtemis: Or well he used to

LiteralGoddess<3: i dont like being called a bitch ;-;

LiteralGoddess<3: athena calls me that sometimes

AroAceArtemis: Me I don’t really care

UltimateAlly: No one has ever called me a bitch

LiteralGoddess<3: that cant be true

AroAceArtemis: What?

AroAceArtemis: How is that possible?

GodOfMadness: I could call you a bitch if you want the experience

LiteralGoddess<3: dont call anyone a bitch thats mean

UltimateAlly: Do it

UltimateAlly: I wanna know how I’d feel

GodOfMadness: iris you’re a bitch

UltimateAlly: Hmmm

UltimateAlly: A little offended but not enough to smite anyone

AroAceArtemis: You’re never offended enough to smite anyone

UltimateAlly: Fair

UltimateAlly: The homophobes are close though

LiteralGoddess<3: same

AroAceArtemis: the misogynists too

LiteralGoddess<3: honestly all the -ists and -phobes

AroAceArtemis: I’d smite them all but Zeus won’t let us

GodOfMadness: probably because he relates to them

LiteralGoddess<3: anyway

LiteralGoddess<3: what should we do for pride month

AroAceArtemis: I have an idea

UltimateAlly: Spill

AroAceArtemis: Instead of making it a big party or whatever

GodOfMadness: no party? I already hate this idea

AroAceArtemis: We offer actual support to queer individuals

AroAceArtemis: Like protecting them from bigots or donating money

GodOfMadness: give them wine so they can drink away their troubles

AroAceArtemis: No

AroAceArtemis: That’s bad for them

GodOfMadness: wasnt for me

AroAceArtemis: I’d beg to differ

AroAceArtemis: Opinions?

LiteralGoddess<3: not as fun as a big celebration but i think its a good idea!

LiteralGoddess<3: maybe i could set up a date for some of the lgbtqia+ people who are interested in romance

UltimateAlly: I like it! I could do my normal rainbow stuff

GodOfMadness: negativity aside

AroAceArtemis: That’s not possible

GodOfMadness: shut up

GodOfMadness: negativity aside

GodOfMadness: its a good idea

GodOfMadness: I hate to admit it

GodOfMadness: but its helpful to people in the queer community

AroAceArtemis: Thank you

GodOfMadness: I have a suggestion to add

LiteralGoddess<3: lets hear it!

GodOfMadness: I could maybe open up a bar or cafe or something for queer people as a sort of safe space

GodOfMadness: though Id prefer if someone helped with that

GodOfMadness: like STAR House

UltimateAlly: I can help! Hestia would probably like that too

LiteralGoddess<3: love that!

AroAceArtemis: That’s actually a good idea

AroAceArtemis: Weird how willing you are to help out though Dionysus

GodOfMadness: I can be very helpful if I want to smh

AroAceArtemis: And you know what?

AroAceArtemis: I don’t think Dionysus has once complained about being in this chat since learning it was for Pride Month

GodOfMadness: say nothing

GodOfMadness: you better not out me as a nice person

LiteralGoddess<3: im gonna tell ares

GodOfMadness: APHRODITE

GodOfMadness: I CAN AND WILL BLACKMAIL

LiteralGoddess<3: okay i wont

LiteralGoddess<3: but is your blackmail information gossip cuz if so i want it

GodOfMadness: I can share it during our next gossip meeting

AroAceArtemis: Gods not the Gossip Meeting

UltimateAlly: You have a Gossip Meeting?? Can I join?

LiteralGoddess<3: wed have to discuss it with the other members but id like you to join

UltimateAlly: Who?

LiteralGoddess<3: hermes and apollo

LiteralGoddess<3: persephone is thinking about joining too

AroAceArtemis: I hate your Gossip Meeting

LiteralGoddess<3: why? its not like you get excluded from much because youre not in it

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo tells you everything

AroAceArtemis: Half of it isn’t even true

LiteralGoddess<3: you dont know that

GodOfMadness: it sounds true if you drink enough alcohol

GodOfMadness: unfortunately because zeus took away my drinks I have trouble believing the gossip

LiteralGoddess<3: iris ill give you a sneakpeek

LiteralGoddess<3: did you know

LiteralGoddess<3: that demeter has a thing for leto

UltimateAlly: GASP

UltimateAlly: WHAT?

UltimateAlly: I did not know that!

LiteralGoddess<3: if you join

GodOfMadness: cue advertisement voice

LiteralGoddess<3: you can hear about stuff like that every month which is when we have our meetings

UltimateAlly: Where?

LiteralGoddess<3: olympus

UltimateAlly: I thought Dionysus wasn’t allowed to leave Camp Half-Blood?

GodOfMadness: facetime

LiteralGoddess<3: he uses facetime to be involved

UltimateAlly: Ohhh okay

AroAceArtemis: That’s enough of that

AroAceArtemis: Are we all in agreement about our plans for Pride Month?

GodOfMadness: yeah

LiteralGoddess<3: yas

UltimateAlly: Yep!

AroAceArtemis: Why must you torture me with the “yas” Aphrodite?

LiteralGoddess<3: im not torturing you youre just weak

LiteralGoddess<3: cant even walk in high heels smh

AroAceArtemis: No that’s Athena

AroAceArtemis: I can walk fine in heels as long as they’re not like super tall

GodOfMadness: I can walk in heels too

LiteralGoddess<3: oh right sorry

GodOfMadness: anyway is it time to leave?

AroAceArtemis: Guess so

UltimateAlly: This was fun! Can’t wait to help people out!

LiteralGoddess<3: ly & ttyl!

UltimateAlly: What?

LiteralGoddess<3: girl i need to teach you about acronyms

GodOfMadness: goodbye

GodOfMadness left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

AroAceArtemis left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

UltimateAlly left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3 left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

Chapter Text

HarvestMom joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

PercysDad joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LordOfDeath joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

HearthAndHome joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

PercysDad: hi everyone

HearthAndHome: hello!

LordOfDeath: I suppose it’s nice to have a chat without Zeus

HarvestMom: HI

HarvestMom: UGH. ZEUS. HE’S ALWAYS CAUSING TROUBLE AND DEPRIVING MY TREES OF SUNLIGHT AND DROWNING MY GRAINS

PercysDad: and of course you know i’d never do that

HarvestMom: I DON’T LIKE YOUR TONE POSEIDON

HarvestMom: I KNOW YOU’VE DESTROYED MY CROPS WITH YOUR TIDAL WAVES AND EARTHQUAKES BEFORE

PercysDad: i didn’t mean to!

HearthAndHome: let’s all settle down

HearthAndHome: there’s no point in arguing over who destroyed whose crops

PercysDad: thx hestia

PercysDad: anyway i think we should make a new Big Three

PercysDad: me hades and demeter

PercysDad: only excluding hestia and hera cause they don’t have kids

HarvestMom: I APPROVE OF THIS IDEA. FOR TOO LONG MY POWERS—AND MY CHILDREN’S—HAVE GONE UNAPPRECIATED

LordOfDeath: Are you suggesting a revolution, brother?

PercysDad: noooo of course not why would you say that?

LordOfDeath: Hmm

PercysDad: anyway i figure hestia could beat us all in a fight if she wanted to

PercysDad: she is the oldest afterall

HearthAndHome: that’s nice of you to say, but i have no intention of beating anyone up

PercysDad: ofc not

LordOfDeath: Poseidon is right that older siblings typically have more power than younger siblings

LordOfDeath: I don’t know if you could easily beat us in a fight, as your power isn’t very combative, but I believe you could your own if necessary

PercysDad: what he’s saying is that he’s glad he doesn’t have to fight you hestia cause he’s scared

LordOfDeath: I am not scared, merely acknowledging Hestia’s potential power

HarvestMom: LIES. YOU ARE VERY MUCH SCARED. HADES HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SCAREDY-CAT

LordOfDeath: Demeter

LordOfDeath: Do shut up now

HarvestMom: YOU ARE SIMPLY JEALOUS OF MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER MEG MCCAFFREY

HarvestMom: I BET SHE COULD BEAT PERCY, NICO AND HAZEL IN A FIGHT

PercysDad: HEY

PercysDad: i’ll have you know that percy fought a god at age twelve and WON

HarvestMom: SO DID MY DAUGHTER. AND SHE ENSLAVED A GOD AT AGE TWELVE

HearthAndHome: um

LordOfDeath: Meg appears to be powerful, but I do believe Nico or Hazel on their own could give her a run for her money easily enough

LordOfDeath: And I think either of them could beat Percy

PercysDad: THAT IS NOT TRUE

PercysDad: percy is way more powerful than either of them!

ApolLester joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester: hey guys!

ApolLester: ohhh hey we’re talking about Meg, Percy, Nico, and Hazel?

HarvestMom: APOLLO

ApolLester: what why are you yelling at me???

HarvestMom: I AM NOT YELLING

HarvestMom: THIS IS MY NATURAL TONE OF VOICE

ApolLester: it literally is yelling in text though

HarvestMom: WHATEVER

HarvestMom: APOLLO. WHY HAS YOUR MOTHER BEEN IGNORING ME?

ApolLester: uhhhhh

ApolLester: i don’t know??

HarvestMom: I’VE SENT HER IRIS MESSAGES

HarvestMom: CALLS, TEXTS

HarvestMom: I EVEN TRIED TO CONTACT LETO THROUGH THIS CHAT

HarvestMom: SHE HASN’T ANSWERED ME AT ALL

LordOfDeath: Demeter’s been ghosted, I see

PercysDad: lol good one hades

LordOfDeath: What do you mean?

PercysDad: you? ghosted? 

LordOfDeath: Oh. I made a pun on accident

LordOfDeath: Haha. Very funny.

ApolLester: maybe she’s busy? why are you asking me?

HarvestMom: YOU ARE HER SON. WHO BETTER TO ASK?

HarvestMom: BESIDES HER DAUGHTER I MEAN

ApolLester: i really don’t know

ApolLester: oh

ApolLester; OH

HarvestMom: WHAT?

ApolLester: uh nothing

ApolLester: SO

ApolLester: i see my enslavement to Meg was mentioned

ApolLester: i think she could give Percy a good fight if they were the same age

HarvestMom: YOU ARE IGNORING ME

HarvestMom: WHAT IS IT?

PercysDad: now what about zeus’s kids? could they beat any of ours?

LordOfDeath: No

HarvestMom: THEY COULD NOT

HarvestMom: BUT BACK ON TOPIC

HarvestMom: YOU KNOW SOMETHING APOLLO. WHAT IS IT? WHY HAS LETO BEEN IGNORING ME?

LordOfDeath: I find it… not funny, exactly, but ironic, that one of Zeus’s spawn, who he seemingly was so proud of, is now part of my domain

PercysDad: lol

HearthAndHome: um

ApolLester: …

ApolLester: guys i’m right here

PercysDad: yeah? so?

HearthAndHome: Apollo was there when Jason died

PercysDad: OH

ApolLester: so gratified to see how sympathetic you guys are

HarvestMom: STOP UPSETTING APOLLO

HarvestMom: HE NEEDS TO ANSWER MY QUESTION

QueenOfHeaven joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

QueenOfHeaven: Hello

ApolLester: look Hera’s here she can answer you Demeter!

HarvestMom: WHY SHOULD SHE KNOW?

ApolLester: she was in the chat at the time

LordOfDeath: I apologize for reminding you of your trauma, Apollo

PercysDad: yeah sorry for being so insensitive

ApolLester: it’s fine

PercysDad: really?

ApolLester: no

ApolLester: i’m leaving

ApolLester left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

QueenOfHeaven: …What happened?

PercysDad: hades brought up jason

LordOfDeath: Yes, and then you laughed over his death

LordOfDeath: Besides, Demeter was clearly overwhelming him

HarvestMom: I WAS SIMPLY ASKING A QUESTION. WHICH HE REFUSED TO ANSWER

HearthAndHome: everyone

HearthAndHome: let’s stop talking about death

QueenOfHeaven: Agreed

QueenOfHeaven: Jason was my champion

HarvestMom: HERA. APOLLO SAID YOU WOULD KNOW WHY LETO HAS BEEN IGNORING ME

QueenOfHeaven: I don’t really see how he could make that assumption

QueenOfHeaven: I bear no ill will against her but we’re not friends or anything

PercysDad: not according to aphrodite

QueenOfHeaven: Oh

QueenOfHeaven: Wait

HarvestMom: WHAT?

LordOfDeath: What is it?

HearthAndHome: how did you hear about that, poseidon?

PercysDad: the sea knows all ships

QueenOfHeaven: Do not mention Aphrodite please

HarvestMom: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH LETO? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

QueenOfHeaven: Well first

PercysDad: aphrodite set sail on the letera ship

QueenOfHeaven: Aphrodite started shipping me and Leto

HarvestMom: WHAT

HarvestMom: THAT’S A TERRIBLE SHIP

HarvestMom: ALMOST AS BAD AS HADES X PERSEPHONE

LordOfDeath: Demeter. I thought we moved past this

HarvestMom: AFTER ALL HERA DID TO HER

QueenOfHeaven: Rest assured I don’t like it either

PercysDad: i bet demeter prefers wickerweave lol

HearthAndHome: what’s that?

PercysDad: /whisper HearthAndHome demeter x leto

HearthAndHome: /whisper PercysDad ohhh

HarvestMom: BUT WHY WOULD THIS MAKE HER IGNORE ME???

QueenOfHeaven: Well after that

QueenOfHeaven: Persephone said that you had a crush on Leto

HarvestMom: PERSEPHONE!

HarvestMom: WHAT’S SHE DOING ON HER PHONE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION? I THOUGHT I SET IT TO CHILD MODE SO I COULD KEEP TRACK OF HER ACTIVITY!

HarvestMom: Wait she said what?

PercysDad: !!!!

LordOfDeath: Demeter was so shocked that she stopped speaking in all caps. What a miracle.

QueenOfHeaven: Yes Demeter. She said you have a crush on Leto

HarvestMom: …

HarvestMom: WHY WOULD SHE THINK THIS?

QueenOfHeaven: Something about you wanting Persephone to marry Apollo?

HarvestMom: THEY WERE A CUTE COUPLE. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LETO

QueenOfHeaven: She said that you wanted Leto in the family

HarvestMom: EVEN IF I THOUGHT THAT HAVING LETO IN THE FAMILY WOULD BE BENEFICIAL

HarvestMom: WHICH IT WOULD BE

HarvestMom: HYPOTHETICALLY

HarvestMom: IN A STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL WAY

PercysDad: she’s in denial

LordOfDeath: Probably

HearthAndHome: maybe. but she might also not be

QueenOfHeaven: It does get more suspicious the more she goes on about it

HarvestMom: THAT DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE A “CRUSH” ON LETO

HarvestMom: I SIMPLY RESPECT HER AND THINK SHE IS A WONDERFUL WOMAN

HarvestMom: PLATONICALLY

LordOfDeath: I suppose thinking she’s beautiful and always wanting to talk to her and impress her is also platonic?

HarvestMom: ALL OF YOU SHUSH

HarvestMom: I DO NOT HAVE “CRUSHES”

HarvestMom: I AM A GODDESS. GODS AND GODDESSES ARE ABOVE “CRUSHES”. “CRUSHES” ARE FOR TEENAGE MORTALS

PercysDad: apollo and aphrodite are gonna be pissed when they hear that

YourMom joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

YourMom changed her username to: TheMomFriend

TheMomFriend: hello!

TheMomFriend: i felt my name being mentioned a lot

TheMomFriend: what’s up?

QueenOfHeaven: Um

LordOfDeath: Um

PercysDad: uhhhh

HearthAndHome: it’s nice to see you leto!

HarvestMom: LETO!

HarvestMom: Ahem. Sorry. I accidentally hit caps lock

HarvestMom: Hello, Leto

LordOfDeath: Demeter is very much lying about that

HarvestMom: You can never have a civil discussion with me, can you, Hades?

TheMomFriend: oh

TheMomFriend: um

TheMomFriend: i just scrolled up and saw what you were talking about…

HarvestMom: It’s been a while since we talked, Leto. What happened?

HarvestMom: Besides Persephone…

TheMomFriend: …

TheMomFriend: oops! looks like Apollo isn’t here! i’m gonna go now! Byeee!!!!

TheMomFriend left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

HarvestMom: LETO

HarvestMom: NOOOO

PercysDad: LMAO

PercysDad: ah yes. the painful outcome of young love

LordOfDeath: If Aphrodite were here, I feel she would make a dramatic effort to comfort Demeter

HarvestMom: SHUT UP

HarvestMom: I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER

HarvestMom: I MISS HER GODSDAMMIT

LordOfDeath: You actually miss her?

PercysDad: oooo THIS is a new development

HearthAndHome: i can make you some popcorn

PercysDad: yes please!

QueenOfHeaven: You probably could’ve handled that better honestly

HarvestMom: WDYM

HarvestMom: I EVEN ALTERED MY WAY OF SPEAKING SO AS TO NOT BOTHER HER

QueenOfHeaven: Perhaps you could’ve said that Persephone was wrong, if you really didn’t have a crush on Leto

HarvestMom: WELL

HarvestMom: I WAS GETTING TO THAT

HearthAndHome: here *gives Poseidon digital popcorn*

PercysDad: oh

PercysDad: i thought you meant real popcorn

HearthAndHome: my hearth is not a popcorn cooker

HearthAndHome: and i am no maid

PercysDad: OH

QueenOfHeaven: Hestia is standing up for herself?

LordOfDeath: Ohhhh. What is it the modern kids say?

HearthAndHome: “oh snap”

LordOfDeath: Thank you, yes, that

HarvestMom: OH SNAP PEAS

HarvestMom: HESTIA’S GROWING A BACKBONE

HearthAndHome: you’re welcome

PercysDad: BRO I JUST GOT SLANDERED

PercysDad: I’M SORRY

PercysDad: PLEASE LET ME LIVE QUEEN HESTIA

QueenOfHeaven: I think some changes are needed in this new regime

QueenOfHeaven: Let me go give Athena some Biscoffs

PercysDad: wut????

HearthAndHome: That’s the way to get temporary mod powers

QueenOfHeaven changed her username to: AdvisorOfHeaven

AdvisorOfHeaven changed HearthAndHome’s username to: QueenHestia

AdvisorOfHeaven changed HarvestMom’s username to: LoudPeasant

AdvisorOfHeaven changed PercysDad’s username to: PopcornTreason

AdvisorOfHeaven changed LordOfDeath’s username to: JustACorpse

AdvisorOfHeaven gave PopcornTreason a warning! He can no longer /whisper, /shout, or /emote

PopcornTreason: why did you do this hera?

JustACorpse: Why am I a corpse?

QueenHestia: i do not deserve this honor

QueenHestia: thank you

AdvisorOfHeaven: You’re welcome

PopcornTreason: you are a cold-hearted monster

AdvisorOfHeaven: Eh many people have called me that

JustACorpse: Excuse me, WHY AM I A CORPSE?

AdvisorOfHeaven: It felt fitting

LoudPeasant: HERA

LoudPeasant: WHY HAVE YOU LABELLED ME AS A PEASANT?

AdvisorOfHeaven: It was the first thing I could think of

AdvisorOfHeaven: “Farmer” wasn’t insulting enough. You’d take pride in that

LoudPeasant: I WOULD

PopcornTreason: I CANT CHANGE MY USERNAME BACK

AdvisorOfHeaven: If a mod or temporary mod changes your username you can’t change it back

AdvisorOfHeaven: Unless a mod gives you permission

PopcornTreason: NOOOO

JustACorpse: So I'm a corpse forever????

QueenHestia: i didn’t know that mods could change usernames

AdvisorOfHeaven: It’s part of the newest patch

LoudPeasant: WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS?

AdvisorOfHeaven: Poseidon said

AdvisorOfHeaven: Oh sorry PopcornTreason

AdvisorOfHeaven: Anyway he called Hestia “Queen Hestia” and I thought it would be funny to do this

AdvisorOfHeaven: Let’s face it the world would be in a better place in Hestia was in charge

QueenHestia: again, i am honored, sister

LoudPeasant: WELL THIS HAS BEEN A TERRIBLE DAY

LoudPeasant: NO ONE WOULD ANSWER ME

LoudPeasant: EVERYONE HAS INCORRECTLY ASSUMED THAT I HAVE A “CRUSH”

LoudPeasant: WHICH THAT RUMOR WAS STARTED BY PERSEPHONE

LoudPeasant: WHO HAS BEEN ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

JustACorpse: Then Leto came on and you completely embarrassed yourself

LoudPeasant: YEAH

LoudPeasant: I MEAN SHUT UP CORPSE

JustACorpse: One could say I’m a royal corpse. You’re just a peasant

LoudPeasant: I WILL KILL YOU. SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY

JustACorpse: Why are my siblings always threatening to kill me?

PopcornTreason: probably because you’re annoying

JustACorpse: You say I’m annoying, but I’m hardly anything compared to you

PopcornTreason: yeah right

JustACorpse: You’re the one who got our names changed

PopcornTreason: but that’s not my fault

JustACorpse: It is

JustACorpse: You committed treason via popcorn

PopcornTreason: YOU LITTLE SHIT!

QueenHestia: maybe we should close the chat before this gets out of hand

AdvisorOfHeaven: Queen Hestia has spoken. I’m going to contact Athena and ask her to close the chat for a few hours. Only the owner of the chat can do that

AdvisorOfHeaven: And if asking doesn’t work then there’s always Biscoffs

LoudPeasant: I’M LEAVING

LoudPeasant left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

PopcornTreason: hades if you try to leave as well…

JustACorpse: I’m leaving as well

PopcornTreason: HADES

JustACorpse left the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

PopcornTreason: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

QueenHestia: maybe you should take a breather, Poseidon

QueenHestia: go stir the sea around, maybe?

AdvisorOfHeaven: Athena says she’s closing the chat so he’d better have something else to do

The chat “Greek/Roman Gods” has been closed. Please try again later

Chapter Text

Thunderbringer joined the chat: “The Olympians”

Thunderbringer: why is no one here???

Thunderbringer: i see the gods on their phones

Thunderbringer: but no one ever talks on here anymore

Thunderbringer: hello????

Thunderbringer: athena

Thunderbringer: artemis

Thunderbringer: hermes

Thunderbringer: is this apollos fault?

Thunderbringer: it feels like apollos fault

TheMessenger! joined the chat: “The Olympians”

TheMessenger!: Hi Dad

TheMessenger!: You called?

Thunderbringer: why is no one here

TheMessenger!: Oh I’m sure they’re just busy

Thunderbringer: wheres athena

TheMessenger!: Athena’s probably conducting a survey or writing a report or killing someone or something like that

TheMessenger!: Or eating Biscoffs

Thunderbringer: what

Thunderbringer: what does THAT mean

TheMessenger!: Nothing. Inside joke

Thunderbringer: you have an inside joke and im not on the inside?!

Thunderbringer: ARE YOU LYING TO ME? IS THIS CODE FOR SOMETHING ELSE?

Thunderbringer: LIKE “KILL ZEUS”????

TheMessenger!: What…? No

TheMessenger!: Where did you get that?

Thunderbringer: this feels suspicious

Thunderbringer: i feel like im being excluded

TheMessenger!: Oh no of course not! We’d never exclude our king unless we wanted to get smited or something

Thunderbringer: THEN WHY IS NO ONE HERE

Thunderbringer: ARE YOU PLANNING A REVOLUTION

TheMessenger!: No

TheMessenger!: We wouldn’t do that

Thunderbringer: hmm

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

TheMessenger!: Oh man

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: ARTEMIS

Thunderbringer: WHY ISNT THIS WORKING

TheMessenger!: Maybe she off hunting and doesn’t have her phone

Thunderbringer: no

Thunderbringer: shes probably still mad at me for punishing apollo

Thunderbringer: ATHENA

Thunderbringer: ATHENA

Thunderbringer: ATHENA

Thunderbringer: ATHENA

Thunderbringer: ATHENA

TheMessenger!: Why do you keep yelling for your other kids?

Thunderbringer: i need someone who wont lie to me

Thunderbringer: your no good. your the god of thieves and trickery

TheMessenger!: I’m hurt but I suppose that’s fair

Thunderbringer: ARES

Thunderbringer: ARES

Thunderbringer: ARES

Thunderbringer: ARES

TheMessenger!: You don’t like Ares

Thunderbringer: but hes dumb

Thunderbringer: hes more likely to reveal stuff on accident

TheMessenger!: /emote sigh

TheMessenger! sighed 😔😮‍💨

Thunderbringer: WHAT IS THAT

Thunderbringer: MORE CODE

TheMessenger: It’s an emote…

Thunderbringer: oh

Thunderbringer: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME

TheMessenger!: No

LiteralGod>:) joined the chat: “The Olympians”

LiteralGod>:): hey i heard someone shouting my name

TheMessenger!: It was Dad

Thunderbringer: ares

Thunderbringer: are the other gods excluding me

LiteralGod>:): not more than usual

Thunderbringer: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

LiteralGod>:): i mean your siblings are always excluding you

LiteralGod>:): and dionysus doesn’t invite any of us to his parties anymore

LiteralGod>:): and you’re not in the gossip meeting so you don’t get exclusive gossip

Thunderbringer: oh okay

Thunderbringer: i expected that

Thunderbringer: my siblings never liked me

Thunderbringer: and i dont like the gossip meeting

Thunderbringer: but did someone make a group chat  or something excluding me

Thunderbringer: someone like apollo

LiteralGod>:): no

Thunderbringer: are you all using another app? like discord? or signal

TheMessenger!: We don’t use Signal

TheMessenger!: We never have

TheMessenger!: Too controversial with today’s news

LiteralGod>:): lmao imagine sharing your war plans on a fucking group chat

TheMessenger!: Tbh that sounds like something you would do Ares

LiteralGod>:): HEY

TheMessenger!: In any case, why would we use a different app, an app MORTALS made, solely for the purpose of excluding Zeus?

Thunderbringer: that sounds exactly like something you would do

LiteralGod>:): but we didn’t

LiteralGod>:): we’re not idiots

LiteralGod>:): those mortal apps are trash

TheMessenger!: Yeah

TheMessenger!: Ask Hephaestus

Thunderbringer: hmmm

AroAceArtemis joined the chat: “The Olympians”

AroAceArtemis: Who is screaming my name while I’m trying to hunt?

TheMessenger!: Dad

AroAceArtemis: Oh

AroAceArtemis: Father why???

Thunderbringer: no one talks on here anymore and its suspicious

LiteralGod>:): i think he’s lonely

Thunderbringer: no

Thunderbringer: gods like group chats so why is no one on here

Thunderbringer: they must be chatting somewhere else without me

AroAceArtemis: I haven’t been chatting on here because I DON’T like group chats and I have better things to do

Thunderbringer: well im not surprised by that

Thunderbringer: but what about your twin or aphrodite

Thunderbringer: they love drama and talking to other people

Thunderbringer: but their not here

AroAceArtemis: I haven’t heard anything of secret places to talk behind your back and Apollo tells me everything

Thunderbringer: maybe hes not the kind of person you think he is

AroAceArtemis: Pretty sure he is but I guess I can confront him about it or something

Thunderbringer: good girl

LiteralGod>:): awww who’s a good artemis?

AroAceArtemis: Ares shush

Thunderbringer: wheres athena

Thunderbringer: i need to ask her to

AroAceArtemis: I don’t know

AroAceArtemis: Haven’t seen much of her lately

Thunderbringer: what are biscoffs

Thunderbringer: hermes mentioned athena eating them

AroAceArtemis: Some sort of cookie? I don’t really know

Thunderbringer: hmm

Thunderbringer: well im leaving now i have things to do

Thunderbringer: but dont think ill forget about this

LiteralGod>:): you have to admit, it’d be an understandable mistake if we did

Thunderbringer: ares

LiteralGod>:): yeah yeah i’ll shut up

TheMessenger!: Well have a good day

AroAceArtemis: Mhm

Thunderbringer: be good

Thunderbringer left the chat: “The Olympians”

AroAceArtemis: “Be good” what are we, five-year-olds?

LiteralGod>:): pretty sure that’s what he thinks yeah

TheMessenger!: Maybe we shouldn’t badmouth dad while we’re in his group chat?

AroAceArtemis: Nah Zeus hasn’t updated the chat to the newest version, so he can’t see what we chat about in his absence

TheMessenger!: Ohhh yeah he hasn’t

LiteralGod>:): how do you know?

TheMessenger!: Look at the version number in the top right corner

TheMessenger!: It says “V 1.5” instead of “V 2.0a”

LiteralGod>:): oh i see

TheMessenger!: Skill issue on his part lol

LiteralGod>:): smh dad never checks for updates

TheMessenger!: So anyway

TheMessenger!: What’s up with y’all?

AroAceArtemis: I’m doing good, currently on a break from tracking the TF

LiteralGod>:): nothing much, that’s why i’m here

TheMessenger!: What’s the TF??

AroAceArtemis: Teumessian Fox

TheMessenger!: Oh yeah. Thought that was unhuntable?

AroAceArtemis: Nothing is unhuntable

LiteralGod>:): i so expected athena to pop in and be like “unhuntable is not a word, don’t use it in scrabble” lol

AroAceArtemis: Accurate

TheMessenger!: Lol yeah that sounds like something she’d say if she were here

LiteralGod>:): alas she is not

AroAceArtemis: I thought you hated Athena why are you saying “alas”

LiteralGod>:): it’s just an expression yeesh

TheMessenger!: Nah, Ares and Athena are actually like rivals but still like each other in a “I like to insult you” kind of way, you know?

LiteralGod>:): no we don’t 

AroAceArtemis: Oh yeah kinda like me and Apollo but less actually loving

TheMessenger!: Yeah like that

LiteralGod>:): nothing like that actually

LiteralGod>:): can’t stand athena’s nerdy ass

AroAceArtemis: Trust me she can’t stand your dumb ass either

LiteralGod>:): i will kill you

LiteralGod>:): slowly and brutally

AroAceArtemis: Good luck

TheMessenger!: Speaking of Apollo, how’s Apollo doing?

AroAceArtemis: Not the greatest but he’s getting better

AroAceArtemis: Last I heard he’s going to try to chat with some of the other pantheons some more

TheMessenger!: Interesting

TheMessenger!: Well when you see him tell him to share any news at the Gossip Meeting

LiteralGod>:): lol hermes why are you telling artemis to give a message for apollo when that’s YOUR job?

AroAceArtemis: He’s got you there

TheMessenger!: ACK

AroAceArtemis: Gotta go now my Hunters need me

TheMessenger!: Kay think I’ma head off too

LiteralGod>:): same

AroAceArtemis: Bye

TheMessenger!: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

LiteralGod>:): seeya suckers

AroAceArtemis left the chat: “The Olympians”

LiteralGod>:) left the chat: “The Olympians”

TheMessenger! left the chat: “The Olympians”

Chapter Text

TheMessenger! joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

EternalWisdom joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

ApolLester joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3 joined the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods”

TheMessenger!: Guys

TheMessenger!: Dad is onto us

LiteralGoddess<3: oh no!

EternalWisdom: That is not favorable. Perhaps some people should limit their phone time in front of Father. Maybe we could organize a schedule so some people are always talking at least a little on Father’s chat

ApolLester: am i the only one who finds it disturbing that we call Zeus “Dad” or “Father” all the time?

ApolLester: like obviously he is, but he really doesn’t deserve that title

TheMessenger!: Wait how did Aphrodite get here? I specifically contacted Apollo and Athena

LiteralGoddess<3: im always invited to the group chat love

ApolLester: eh let her stay

ApolLester: Aphrodite is really clever, maybe she can help

LiteralGoddess<3: aww thanks!

LiteralGoddess<3: but im sure you and athena can handle it <3

EternalWisdom: You’re just trying to get out of doing work

LiteralGoddess<3: doing work is bad for my mental health

LiteralGoddess<3: too boring

ApolLester: work is bad for everyone’s mental health but you don’t see us complaining

LiteralGoddess<3: i do actually

LiteralGoddess<3: a lot

ApolLester: fair, i complain a lot

TheMessenger!: To be fair, you usually have a better reason than “too boring”

EternalWisdom: While what most people think of as “work” is not very good for mental health—usually menial careers such as desk jobs or working at a fast food place—being productive in ways such as cleaning, more professional and well-paying careers, cooking, creative endeavors, or simply dressing professionally can boost happiness and energy and make people feel overall more fulfilled

ApolLester: /emote applaud EternalWisdom

ApolLester gave EternalWisdom a round of applause! 👏👏

EternalWisdom: Thank you

EternalWisdom: Wait a moment, I need to do something

EternalWisdom changed the settings for “Censored Words”

TheMessenger!: ????

LiteralGoddess<3: why?

EternalWisdom: Just something that has been bothering me

ApolLester: Athena

EternalWisdom: Yes, Apollo?

ApolLester: i think we should invite some of the gods from other pantheons

ApolLester: i’ve been talking to Frey a lot recently and i think it would beneficial to talk more casually with the other pantheons

ApolLester: there’s been a lot of mixing amongst the Greek/Roman demigods, Norse demigods, and Egyptian magicians anyway

LiteralGoddess<3: plus you think frey is hot

ApolLester: shut up, i do not

TheMessenger!: I like that idea

TheMessenger!: Athena if me and Apollo give you B######s will you give us mod powers?

TheMessenger!: WTF why did it it censored???

LiteralGoddess<3: why did it censor B######??????

LiteralGoddess<3: OMG IT DID IT AGAIN

LiteralGoddess<3: ATHENA

ApolLester: i had a feeling i shouldn’t mention those…

EternalWisdom: Good feeling, Apollo

EternalWisdom: I am tired of being made fun of for liking cookies. I am more tired of being bribed with them, especially in small quantities

EternalWisdom: One Biscoff cookie is not equivalent to Temporary Mod Powers

LiteralGoddess<3: oh no athenas mad

TheMessenger!: Shit she’s pulling out the big words

LiteralGoddess<3: wait how come she can say b###### but we can’t?

TheMessenger!: She’s the owner of the chat

EternalWisdom: That’s also why I have not been online recently, as I vowed to not join the chat if me being bribed with Biscoffs were mentioned

EternalWisdom: Naturally, you all kept mentioning them

ApolLester: i’m sorry

EternalWisdom: I’ll let you off the hook, Apollo, since you never really did mention them

EternalWisdom: Though I think Aphrodite should watch her back for a while

LiteralGoddess<3: NOOO IM SORRY

ApolLester: Athena, if i don’t ever mention b######s again and tell off those who do, will you give me temporary mod powers?

EternalWisdom: You can get Permanent Mod Powers. I don’t mind you being a moderator. You’re the only other one here who is actually smart

ApolLester: WOW thanks!

ApolLester has been made a Moderator! He can now rename the chat and members inside, invite new members, kick and ban current members, and more!

ApolLester renamed the chat: “Greek/Roman Gods” to “Ancient Gods”

ApolLester: haha i have the power

TheMessenger!: Well I did not expect this

TheMessenger!: New alliances have been formed

TheMessenger!: Someone has finally told me off for something I did wrong

TheMessenger!: A dark day indeed

ApolLester: drama queen

LiteralGoddess<3: apollo your mr “oh no everything is terrible woe is me because i stubbed my toe :(((((“

LiteralGoddess<3: i mean i am too but youre one to talk

ApolLester: fair

Aunt_Kitty joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

Aunt_Kitty: hi it’s Bast

ApolLester: hey Bast

EternalWisdom: Welcome. I am Athena

LiteralGoddess<3: athenas gonna get along great with bast

LiteralGoddess<3: she loves cats

TheMessenger!: I do too!

TheMessenger!: Btw why is your username Aunt_Kitty?

Aunt_Kitty: that’s what some of my mortal friends/adopted children call me

ApolLester: relatable

EternalWisdom: Aphrodite, because I saved a cat from falling out of Olympus one time does not mean I love cats. I simply do not dislike cats, though they are quite clever. Besides, I wouldn’t have had to do that if your boyfriend did not drop it from Olympus in the first place

TheMessenger!: Damn she got you

Aunt_Kitty: That’s a lot of words

LiteralGoddess<3: okay insult me all you like athena

LiteralGoddess<3: but bringing my WONDERFUL BOYFRIEND ARES into it is going too far

LiteralGoddess<3: bitch

Aunt_Kitty: Whoa there

EternalWisdom: What did you just call me?

ApolLester: sorry you joined at this time Bast

Aunt_Kitty: Eh I’ve seen wilder stuff

LiteralGoddess<3: i called you a bitch, BITCH

EternalWisdom: You do not call the goddess of wisdom a bitch

EternalWisdom: Bitch

TheMessenger!: Let’s all calm down now, no need to get offensive

LiteralGoddess<3: she was offensive first!

Aunt_Kitty: Well anyway

Aunt_Kitty: How are your mortal friends doing, Apollo?

ApolLester: They’re doing good! Besides all the usual trauma, you know

Aunt_Kitty: Same

Aunt_Kitty: Sadie swore she saw some boy who looked like Anubis but it wasn’t him

ApolLester: yeah? What did he look like?

Aunt_Kitty: Pale skin, black leather jacket, kinda long silky black hair, shadows under his eyes (though this kid’s eyes were dark gray instead of Anubis’s brown), a deathly aura, a Pride pin

ApolLester: sounds a bit like my son’s boyfriend, Nico

ApolLester: but it’s probably not him. there’s a lot of emo boys out there

Aunt_Kitty: Well he was with a blond boy with tanned skin and blue eyes

ApolLester: …

ApolLester: yeah it was probably Nico she saw lol

LiteralGoddess<3: wait whos sadie???

Aunt_Kitty: Magician, used to be the host of Isis

LiteralGoddess<3: that explains nothing

TheMessenger!: Egyptians are weird

Aunt_Kitty: No weirder than Greeks

BestTwins joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

BestTwins: hi

TheMessenger!: Who tf are you???

BestTwins: frey and freya

BestTwins: were sharing a phone

ApolLester: …why?

BestTwins: What the Helheim is going on with Frey’s typing style? It looks terrible. Is he allergic to capitalization? 

BestTwins: freya shush

BestTwins: i didnt have mine on me

EternalWisdom: That seems very inconvenient. Can Vanir gods not simply summon a phone if need be?

BestTwins: He probably could but he said it would be funnier if we shared it

BestTwins: I already don’t like it. Frey, stop trying to grab the phone

LiteralGoddess<3: frey and freya??? omg its been so long!! how are you?

BestTwins: see freya my typing style isnt weird, aphrodite does it too

BestTwins: Hey Aphrodite! Ignore my brother

ApolLester: i’m getting flashbacks to my childhood

BestTwins: He’s not very smart

LiteralGoddess<3: the hottest ones never are

ApolLester: i am offended

ApolLester: plenty of smart people are also beautiful, it’s not one or the other

LiteralGoddess<3: i was kidding apollo sweetie

Aunt_Kitty: Hi there I’m trying not to get yelled at

Aunt_Kitty: These Greeks are ANGRY

Aunt_Kitty: Or are you Romans?

TheMessenger!: I’m Greek atm

LiteralGoddess<3: so freya what’s up? any pretty new jewelry i should be aware of?

BestTwins: freya cant answer shes being immature

LiteralGoddess<3: uhh?

BestTwins: FREY JUST BECAUSE I WANNA TALK TO MY FELLOW LOVE GODDESS AND I WON’T GIVE UP THE PHONE BECAUSE OF THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME IMMATURE!

ApolLester: can one of you PLEASE get another phone so it’s less confusing?

BestTwins: cant believe youd betray me like this apollo

ApolLester: i’m sorry it’s just making my brain explode

LiteralGoddess<3: oh frey btw apollo thinks your hot

ApolLester: I DO NOT

TheMessenger!: Mmm you definitely do though

BestTwins: Haha, that’s what I thought (Freya here)

BestTwins: Frey is not happy that I intruded on his conversation but he intruded on mine first so there

LiteralGoddess<3: alls fair in love and war

BestTwins: Real

BestTwins: frey here my sisters the worst ANYWAY

BestTwins: you got sucked down to earth as a mortal right apollo?

ApolLester: yeah

BestTwins: you happen to meet my son? his names magnus chase

EternalWisdom: Chase? Does he happen to be related to someone named Annabeth?

BestTwins: yeah actually. hes her cousin

EternalWisdom: Annabeth is my daughter. Interesting that one family has attracted two gods

BestTwins: oh cool

BestTwins: yeah that natalie chase was something else

BestTwins: freyas trying to take the phone again but i wont let her

ApolLester: i didn’t see your son, sorry

ApolLester: i did hear that Annabeth was involved in some family drama in Boston though

BestTwins: Aphrodite, Freya here, is there any new relationship drama I should know about???

LiteralGoddess<3: nothing much. zeus and hera are still struggling, me and ares are still together…

LiteralGoddess<3: OH WAIT I REMEMBERED SOMETHING

LiteralGoddess<3: demeter has a crush on leto

LiteralGoddess<3: and im like 90% sure leto and hera have a thing for each other

BestTwins: Oooo nice!

ApolLester: please stop shipping my mother and stepmother

BestTwins: dw apollo i would never do such a thing (frey here btw)

LiteralGoddess<3: is this freypollo i see???

ApolLester: Athena, can you make them stop please??

EternalWisdom: I’m sure you can handle it. I’m a little busy taking notes on these interactions to study how successful inter-pantheon interactions online are.

ApolLester: wow thanks a lot

TheMessenger!: This is hella entertaining but I gotta go send some messages and stuff now

TheMessenger!: See y’all later!

ApolLester: Byee!

LiteralGoddess<3: ly! <3333

Aunt_Kitty: See you

BestTwins: bye whatever-your-name-is

TheMessenger!: It’s Hermes

BestTwins: Sorry that my brother’s so dumb (Freya)

TheMessenger!: It’s okay, I get it

TheMessenger!: Bye

TheMessenger! left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

ApolLester: i feel like i should be offended by Hermes saying “I get it” about dumb brothers but ig it’s too late now

BestTwins: our intelligence is often underestimated (frey obviously)

ApolLester: it’s because we’re more emotional people. people who are more ruthless and logical are more likely to be viewed as “smart” than people who are more emotional and empathetic, even if they’re just as or more intelligent

BestTwins: well said my friend

BestTwins: To be fair, I’m not thought of as smart either (Freya)

LiteralGoddess<3: neither am i but me and apollo nearly outsmarted athena during the trojan war

EternalWisdom: DO NOT MENTION THE TROJAN WAR

LiteralGoddess<3: i guess shes still sensitive about that

BestTwins: APHRODITE

LiteralGoddess<3: YEAH? WHO IS THIS???

BestTwins: FREYA

BestTwins: AND GUESS WHAT????

LiteralGoddess<3: WHAT???????

BestTwins: There’s a whole bunch of cute ships going on over here, INCLUDING a ship with one of my sons involved!

LiteralGoddess<3: ooo yasss give me the tea please

BestTwins: too bad you cant get it cause its FREY TIME BABY

BestTwins: apollo

BestTwins: i heard you had a talking weapon

ApolLester: yeah? its name was the Arrow of Dodona

BestTwins: yeah i used to have a sword named the sword of summer but now it belongs to my son and his name is jack

ApolLester: yeah i heard you didn’t have it anymore

ApolLester: wait its name is Jack???

BestTwins: HIS name

BestTwins: obviously

ApolLester: oh right

ApolLester: obviously

BestTwins: what was yourwafwauv8abg. Freya here, stole the phone back, anyway

BestTwins: NO ITS MY TURN FREYA

BestTwins: IT'S MY TURN FREY. I WANNA TELL APRHODITE ABOUT MY SON

LiteralGoddess<3: PLEASE do so

EternalWisdom: Perhaps, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, including their own, Freya and Frey should get separate phones to chat

BestTwins: NO ITS FUNNIER THIS WAY THIS IS FREY

BestTwins: FREY IS WRONG GET OFF MY PHONE

Aunt_Kitty: I’m still here if anyone cares

Aunt_Kitty: just watching

BestTwins: IDC ABOUT HER

BestTwins: I DO SHE’S PRETTY AND A CAT GIRL

BestTwins: Freya here, sorry I haven’t greeted you yet, Bast!

BestTwins: I really like cats

BestTwins: wuagfafw its frey, running rn so freya cant take phone back

ApolLester: uh

BestTwins: apollo

ApolLester: yeah…?

BestTwins: how are you

ApolLester: good i guess

ApolLester: besides you and your twin’s craziness

BestTwins: i think i lost her

BestTwins changed their username to: Summertime

Summertime: anyway hi

Summertime: what was your sentient weapon like?

ApolLester: uh it spoke in Shakespearean English

Summertime: at least it didnt sing selena gomez

ApolLester: what

Summertime: something that jack likes to do

LiteralGoddess<3: this kinda gay ngl

ApolLester: we’re literally just talking

Summertime: shes not wrong though

ApolLester: oh

ApolLester: well

Summertime: your my favorite olympian

Summertime: very pretty

EternalWisdom: *You’re

ApolLester: oh

ApolLester: thank you

ApolLester: Athena please stop

Summertime: FINALLY I HAVE GOTTEN MY PHONE BACK. HAHAHAHA

Summertime changed their username to: PrettyKitty

PrettyKitty: It’s me, Freya!

PrettyKitty: Haha my brother is SO simping for Apollo right now

LiteralGoddess<3: i know its hilarious

Aunt_Kitty: Hello fellow Kitty

PrettyKitty: HI BAST

PrettyKitty: DON’T KNOW YOU WELL BUT YOU SEEM SUPER COOL

Aunt_Kitty: Thanks

LiteralGoddess<3: is this freya x bast i see??

LiteralGoddess<3: what would the ship name be??

ApolLester: LoveCat?

LiteralGoddess<3: yee thats good

Aunt_Kitty: Well…

PrettyKitty: I like that

ApolLester: who’s the gay one now?

PrettyKitty: I like pretty people, what can I say?

PrettyKitty: Besides, she’s the cat goddess

Aunt_Kitty: I suppose my opinion on this doesn’t count?

PrettyKitty: I’m just kidding

LiteralGoddess<3: unless…

PrettyKitty: There is an “unless” but you don’t have to take it

Aunt_Kitty: Thanks I guess

PrettyKitty: Frey’s trying to take the phone again, but he won’t because it’s MINE

PrettyKitty: ACTUALLY I DID BECAUSE YOURE TOO BUSY TRYING TO TYPE NEAT SISTER

ApolLester: what is even going on anymore?

EternalWisdom: I have been learning much about everyone in this chat today

EternalWisdom: Including things that I didn’t wish to know

PrettyKitty:  usrzrd7prkyra

Aunt_Kitty: ???

LiteralGoddess<3: guys? are you doing okay?

PrettyKitty: NO, MY BROTHER JUST TACKLED ME, WTF

ApolLester: can one of you PLEASE get your own phone?

PrettyKitty: Yes, PLEASE, get your own phone, Frey!

PrettyKitty: fiiiine ill summon a phone jeez sis

PrettyKitty: I think Frey only agreed because Apollo asked him to

Summertime joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

Summertime: did not

Summertime: im just a good person

Summertime: and you were getting annoying

PrettyKitty: This is MY phone, which you stole!

Summertime: AND YOU STOLE IT BACK

Summertime: TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE A RIGHT

PrettyKitty: I WAS RETRIEVING MY OWN PROPERTY!

ApolLester: OKAY EVERYONE

ApolLester: let’s all SETTLE DOWN

EternalWisdom: Yes, this hasn’t been very productive

EternalWisdom: …At all

Aunt_Kitty: I’m scared on everyone here and I think you all need therapy

ApolLester: wow i never would’ve guessed that

ApolLester: that was sarcasm btw

LiteralGoddess<3: were all too proud to go to therapy i think

ApolLester: yeah

ApolLester: we need it desperately, though

EternalWisdom: Agreed

LiteralGoddess<3: i showed whats going on in this chat to ares and he said “those guys are all weak”

EternalWisdom: Tell him that I dare him to go to therapy

ApolLester: lol

LiteralGoddess<3: he said that he would, just to spite everyone and prove yall wrong

Summertime: really?

ApolLester: really?

PrettyKitty: Aww, now you’re speaking in sync!

LiteralGoddess<3: so cute

ApolLester: guys

ApolLester: i’m a moderator now, i can make you regret ever making fun of me

LiteralGoddess<3: uh huh sure

ApolLester: wow you should know better than to call my bluff

ApolLester gave LiteralGoddess<3 a warning! She can no longer /whisper, /shout, or /emote

LiteralGoddess<3: WHAT NOOOO

PrettyKitty: I’M SORRY, SPARE ME!!

ApolLester: okay

EternalWisdom: There doesn’t seem to be much reason for you to be upset, Aphrodite. You never used those functions anyway

LiteralGoddess<3: i was GOING to ;-;

ApolLester: i warned you

ApolLester: i mean, literally, but also before i gave you the chat warning

LiteralGoddess<3: this is unfair

PrettyKitty: /emote hug LiteralGoddess<3

PrettyKitty gave LiteralGoddess<3 a hug! 🫂♥️

LiteralGoddess<3: ty

LiteralGoddess<3: your a good friend

LiteralGoddess<3: unlike certain others

ApolLester: girl you humiliated me in front of the entire Olympian council, you have no right to talk

LiteralGoddess<3: i was having a venus day you cant blame me for that

ApolLester: i can and will

Aunt_Kitty: What? What happened?

Summertime: what did aphy do?

LiteralGoddess<3: i like the nickname but again it was venus

ApolLester: you’re the same person

LiteralGoddess<3: no im not

ApolLester: yes you are???

LiteralGoddess<3: no

ApolLester: yes

EternalWisdom: Romans tend to make the gods worse. I would not be surprised if Venus was different than Aphrodite, if only in an annoying way

ApolLester: are you still bitter about the Romans making you a crafts goddess instead of a war goddess?

EternalWisdom: I have every right to be bitter. There is nothing wrong with crafts, but I deserve recognition for my skills in combat and strategy

LiteralGoddess<3: so basically your still bitter

EternalWisdom: You are on thin ice, Aphrodite

EternalWisdom: Now, wasn’t the original point of today’s chat supposed to be us figuring out what to do about Zeus being suspicious of our low activity in the other chat room?

ApolLester: yeah but we’ve gone too far at this point

ApolLester: i think our sanity has run out

Summertime: that wasnt my fault

PrettyKitty: It was, though

ApolLester: okay, no one’s blaming anybody

ApolLester: /whisper EternalWisdom, LiteralGoddess, PrettyKitty, Aunt_Kitty but it kind of was Frey’s fault

PrettyKitty: /whisper ApolLester Definitely

TheWriter joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheScribe joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

ApolLester: oh hi!

TheWriter: Hello

TheWriter: I am Calliope, and this is my friend, Seshat

TheScribe: Greetings

Aunt_Kitty: Yay I’m no longer the only Egyptian god here

ApolLester: ohhh! hey Calliope! how’s it going?

TheScribe: We need to end this chapter

TheWriter: Yeah, it’s getting too long

Summertime: what

LiteralGoddess<3: what does that mean?

EternalWisdom: Excuse me, would you mind telling me what you’re talking about?

TheWriter: This story is a mess

TheWriter: I should’ve gotten here sooner

ApolLester: don’t worry about it. Calliope likes to break the forth wall sometimes, pretend she’s a writer

Aunt_Kitty: It’s been a while since I talked to Seshat but I think I remember her doing that too

Aunt_Kitty: Horus haaated it

TheScribe: It’s incredibly disorganized

TheScribe: The characters’ typing styles keep changing

TheScribe: There’s no timeline

TheWriter: Ugh I hate it when that happens

TheWriter: Though Rick does it too, so I suppose there’s an excuse for this fic

Summertime: who the hel is rick?

ApolLester: uhh just ignore it

TheWriter: All right, everyone leave the chat

PrettyKitty: Excuse me??

TheScribe: We told you, it’s time for this chapter to end. It’s too long

LiteralGoddess<3: um you cant tell us what to do

TheWriter: It doesn’t even have anything interesting

TheWriter: Like Apollo’s trauma

ApolLester: um…

TheScribe: Yeah, that’s what the readers enjoy the most. Apollo’s trauma being brought up and then him getting rightfully angry at people and leaving

ApolLester: could we not discuss this?

TheWriter: Certainly. Just leave

Aunt_Kitty: This is creepy

Aunt_Kitty: I’m gonna leave

PrettyKitty: Yeah, me too

Aunt_Kitty left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

PrettyKitty left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: nooo my friends :(

TheScribe: Good. Now it’s time for everyone else to leave

TheWriter: Yeah, please stop dragging out this chapter

EternalWisdom: Since we do not have anything else to discuss, it seems wise to do what they say

ApolLester: ATHENA DON’T LEAVE ME HERE

EternalWisdom left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

Summertime: COWARD

ApolLester: are you calling me a coward? ;-;

Summertime: no no im calling athena a coward

Summertime: for not staying and standing with the rest of us

ApolLester: oh thanks

ApolLester: will you stay?

Summertime: of course

Summertime: im not gonna let some creepy writing ladies scare me away from you

LiteralGoddess<3: very cute but im still here as well

TheScribe: Yeah, and that’s really annoying us. Leave. The. Chat

TheWriter: The next chapter is going to be much more interesting

ApolLester: Callie please stop

ApolLester: I thought we were friends

TheWriter: We are

TheWriter: All I’m asking you to do is leave the chat, so you remain in favor with the audience

ApolLester: …

ApolLester: sorry, Frey, i’m leaving

Summertime: but

Summertime: our vow to stand together and resist…

LiteralGoddess<3: WAIT I GET TO STORM OUT DRAMATICALLY FIRST APOLLO

LiteralGoddess<3 left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

ApolLester: i am sorry, my friend. but the only way to escape the forth wall break it is to do what it says

Summertime: /emote cry

Summertime cried 😢😭

ApolLester: be safe

ApolLester: and i hope that this is not farewell forever

Summertime: same

Summertime: love you

ApolLester: <3

ApolLester: speaking of which, does 3:00 PM tomorrow work for you?

Summertime: yeah see you then

ApolLester left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

Summertime left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheScribe: Finally, they’re gone

TheWriter: That took forever

TheScribe: Gods are so stubborn

TheWriter: I know right?

TheWriter: Well, time for the next chapter

TheWriter left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheScribe left the chat “Ancient Gods”

Chapter Text

ApolLester joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3 joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

Spring&DeathQueen joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

JustACorpse joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: hiiii

ApolLester: hiiii indeed

Spring&DeathQueen: Hello

JustACorpse: Greetings

LiteralGoddess<3: wait who the fuck is justacorpse?

ApolLester: whoa Didi

ApolLester: language

ApolLester: but yeah who the fuck is that

LiteralGoddess<3: omg polina your such a hypocrite

ApolLester: Polina?!

LiteralGoddess<3: if you get to come up with cutesy nicknames for people then so do i

Spring&DeathQueen: Polinas pretty cute honestly

Spring&DeathQueen: Could be worse

ApolLester: fair

ApolLester: i could be called Polly or something

ApolLester: then you guys would be making parrot jokes all the time

JustACorpse: Your sibling-like banter is entertaining, but I’m afraid we’ve gone off-topic

ApolLester: damn i was about to think of a cutesy name for Persephone

LiteralGoddess<3: we could call her percy

ApolLester: lol that would be confusing

Spring&DeathQueen: Please dont call me Percy

Spring&DeathQueen: Which reminds me

Spring&DeathQueen changed her username to: FloralCoffin

FloralCoffin: I was getting tired of that name

ApolLester: that is such a poetic username persephone

FloralCoffin: Oh and JustACorpse is Hades

FloralCoffin: Hera renamed him to that

LiteralGoddess<3: oh thx for explaining

LiteralGoddess<3: anyway how about sephy/sephie as a nickname

FloralCoffin: Oh I like that

ApolLester: that’s cute! i’d go with Sephie

LiteralGoddess<3: okay so im didi or aphy (pick your poison)

LiteralGoddess<3: apollos polina

LiteralGoddess<3: and persephone is sephie

ApolLester: nice

JustACorpse: Does no one else find it strange that Apollo’s “nickname” is just a completely different name, that happens to be for girls?

FloralCoffin: Hades stop embarrassing me

LiteralGoddess<3: aww does he want a cutesy name too?

JustACorpse: Absolutely not

ApolLester: how about Desi? 

LiteralGoddess<3: omg yess

FloralCoffin: That is so good

ApolLester: we are the nickname gang!

JustACorpse: Do not call me Desi

JustACorpse: That is undignified

ApolLester; your username is JustACorpse

ApolLester: i feel like Desi has to be better than THAT

JustACorpse: Well…

ApolLester: in fact

ApolLester changed JustACorpse’s username to: Desi

ApolLester: there

Desi: …

ApolLester: okay anyway

ApolLester: how’s life?

FloralCoffin: Pretty good

LiteralGoddess<3: yup

LiteralGoddess<3: how did your date with frey go?

ApolLester: first of all, it was not a date

LiteralGoddess<3: mhm surrrre

LiteralGoddess<3: did you kiss him?

ApolLester: actually, no

FloralCoffin: Really?

ApolLester: listen i’m not ready for a relationship of that level yet

FloralCoffin: You’ve HAD relationships of that level

LiteralGoddess<3: and beyond

ApolLester: shush

ApolLester: what i MEAN

ApolLester: is i don’t think, at this time, with all the stuff i’ve working through, i’m ready for a relationship

ApolLester: it wouldn’t be fair to Frey and it wouldn’t be fair to me

FloralCoffin: Oh okay

LiteralGoddess<3: booooo boring

LiteralGoddess<3: kidding good for you for taking it slow

ApolLester: thanks Didi

LiteralGoddess<3: np polina

ApolLester: enough about me

ApolLester: how’s Ares’s plan for therapy going? has he actually gone?

LiteralGoddess<3: he scheduled an appointment for next week. right now hes cooking me dinner

ApolLester: it’s four o’clock

LiteralGoddess<3: he likes to get a headstart

LiteralGoddess<3: its a lot of work

LiteralGoddess<3: plus hes making dessert too

FloralCoffin: How sweet of him

FloralCoffin: Oh Desi…

Desi: We’re gods, Persephone. We don’t need to cook

Desi: And don’t call me Desi

ApolLester: are you… doing anything to help, Didi?

LiteralGoddess<3: of course!

LiteralGoddess<3: im giving him moral support

ApolLester: by sitting pretty on the counter and saying “you’re doing great, dear!”?

LiteralGoddess<3: how else?

FloralCoffin: That’s oddly specific Polina. how did you know?

ApolLester: i know Didi well, Sephie

LiteralGoddess<3: look at him

LiteralGoddess<3 added 1 attachment [Click to view]

LiteralGoddess<3: isnt he amazing

ApolLester: very cute

ApolLester: although i’m a little concerned about those red splashes on his apron

LiteralGoddess<3: thats nothing to worry about

LiteralGoddess<3: oooo he just told me that when the cakes done i get to decorate it

FloralCoffin: #CoupleGoals

ApolLester: romance at its finest

Hephaestus joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LiteralGoddess<3: !!!

FloralCoffin: Hephaestus?!

Desi: This was unexpected

ApolLester: oh hey!

LiteralGoddess<3: omg hephy

Hephaestus: Hephy. You’re calling me… Hephy

FloralCoffin: Were giving eachother cutesy nicknames

FloralCoffin: Id probably call you Fifi though

Hephaestus: “Fifi”

Hephaestus: Whatever. Apollo, I finished the project

ApolLester: sweet! thank you

Hephaestus: You’re welcome.

LiteralGoddess: project?

LiteralGoddess<3: what project???

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus don’t tell them the real project

Hephaestus: Apollo was visiting me a few days ago, and gave me an idea for a new project

FloralCoffin: Whats the project?

Hephaestus: Oh, just a little thing for quality of life

LiteralGoddess<3: is it more singing automations?

Hephaestus: That would be stupid. He already has enough

LiteralGoddess<3: well theres no need to be rude about it!

Hephaestus: Where was I being rude? That was an honest and factual comment

ApolLester: okay let’s not argue, you two

FloralCoffin: But whats the project Polina?

ApolLester: oh nothing important

Desi: Good job on the vagueness

Desi: Polina

ApolLester: Desi’s getting into the nicknames!!

LiteralGoddess<3: YAYYY WEVE TURNED HIM!!!

FloralCoffin: Nickname gang!!!!

Desi: Stop avoiding the subject

ApolLester: what do you mean?

Desi: What’s this “project”?

ApolLester: nothing! jeez, who are you, Zeus?

Desi: Don’t you dare compare me to Zeus

LiteralGoddess<3: just tell usss! we can keep a secret 

ApolLester: no you can’t

Hephaestus: Don’t lie to yourself, Aphrodite. You can’t keep a secret.

LiteralGoddess<3: hephy why are you so meeean :( 

Hephaestus: I think it’s meaner to cheat on your husband for millennia 

FloralCoffin: OHHHH SHIT

ApolLester: bro is SPITTING FACTS

Desi: Oh snap

LiteralGod>:) joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LiteralGod>:): WHO’S MAKING APHY UPSET?!!!??

FloralCoffin: What’s Ares’s nickname?

ApolLester: maybe Ari?

LiteralGod>:): yeah yeah cute whatever

LiteralGod>:): WHO DID IT? I WILL PUNCH THEM! I WILL STAB THEM! I WILL DISEMBOWEL THEM!

FloralCoffin: Daaamn

ApolLester: oh gods

Desi: Isn’t that a bit extreme?

LiteralGod>:): who the fuck are you

ApolLester: no wonder you and Didi are dating…

Desi: Hades

LiteralGod>:): oh that’s perfect

LiteralGod>:): you’re getting a new resident

LiteralGod>:): WHO UPSET HER?!

FloralCoffin: Hephaestus

ApolLester: …Hephaestus

Desi: Hephaestus

LiteralGod>:): HEPHAESTUS

Hephaestus: What? All I mentioned was her infidelity in our marriage

LiteralGod>:): well now she’s shaking and crying in the kitchen, so you better pay up, you ugly fucking bastard

ApolLester: is she okay???

LiteralGod>:): oh i don’t know what do YOU think genius

ApolLester: …point taken

Hephaestus: I don’t know why that upset her. Mostly she just looks uncomfortable or glares when I bring that up

FloralCoffin: Yeah thats pretty weird. she doesnt usually get that upset

Desi: She doesn’t really get upset about anything, really. Perhaps she is faking it to get attention

LiteralGod>:): oh it’s just like all you motherfuckers to assume she’s shallow and doesn’t feel true sadness or panic or guilt

LiteralGod>:): well guess what? she has emotions, a lot of them, and she has depth. she’s the goddess of love! do you expect her to be bubbly and prideful all the time? do you think she doesn’t feel bad, or genuinely angry? 

ApolLester: oh

LiteralGod>:): love isn’t about sweet smells and sparkly eyes. it’s about EMOTIONS. It’s about being tough. it’s about having a hard time but getting through it anyway. it’s about supporting others but still maintaining care to oneself, because love isn’t the one-true-goal in life, it’s a booster to get you where you need to go, to help you

LiteralGod>:): people disrespect her domain all the time, thinking something is love when it isn’t, or persecuting different types of love, which isn’t at all something she wants, and it’s not considered “reasonable” to get involved anymore and make mortals pay

FloralCoffin: Sorry but I would think thats a good thing?

LiteralGod>:): ha, funny. you expect the fucking war god to not approve of violence or revenge? there are way too many people down there disrespecting war veterans, and people just trying to get through life. some of them deserve to be cursed

LiteralGod>:): whatever. all i hear is “apollo apollo apollo” and yeah, i get he’s traumatized, he’s had a bad time, he deserves patience

LiteralGod>:): but what about the rest of us? just because apollo is a good person now doesn’t mean he wasn’t before, and it doesn’t mean we weren’t or aren’t good people either. it doesn’t mean we don’t have trauma of our own

LiteralGod>:): i’ve seen apollo say this, and he’s right: people who are about tactical logic are considered “better” than people who are about emotions, who CARE about the individual. those latter people? they’re the “losers”. they’re the “idiots”. 

LiteralGod>:): they don’t matter. they don’t GET to feel actual emotions even though that’s what their domain is

ApolLester: ohhh

ApolLester: Ares…

LiteralGod>:): what? are you going to argue about your own point?

ApolLester: no. i’m sorry

LiteralGod>:): …

LiteralGod>:): about what?

ApolLester: i never thought about it like that. how that mindset would affect aphrodite

ApolLester: and… you

LiteralGod>:): this isn’t about me…

ApolLester: well, okay

ApolLester: /whisper LiteralGod>:) maybe it’s not MEANT to be

FloralCoffin: …Wow. that was alot

ApolLester: /whisper LiteralGod>:) but i think that some part of you is bitter about being viewed only as a raging, bloodthirsty monster, when your domain is about the emotional aspects of war, including grief and caring about individuals, and you want to vent with the excuse of “i’m mad for Aphrodite’s sake” as a safety net

ApolLester: /whisper LiteralGod>:) not that i think you aren’t

LiteralGod>:): /whisper ApolLester i’m not looking for a therapy session from you, sunny

Hephaestus: Do tell Aphrodite my apologies. I didn’t realize that truth would make her cry

ApolLester: /whisper LiteralGod>:) i know. but if you ever want to talk about it, i’m always here

LiteralGod>:): shut the fuck up hephaestus

ApolLester: /whisper LiteralGod>:) i’m no Dionysus, but i can listen

LiteralGod>P): /whisper ApolLester whatever. maybe. if only to make you shut up

Desi: Let’s move on, shall we?

ApolLester: /whisper LiteralGod>:) that’s what makes most people open up to me haha :)

ApolLester: how’s Didi?

LiteralGod>:): she can talk now, unlike before, but i don’t think she wants to chat anymore

ApolLester: i’m really sorry about all this

LiteralGod>:): yeah yeah i know

ApolLester: here

ApolLester took back LiteralGoddess<3’s warning! She can now /whisper, /shout, and /emote again!

ApolLester: i know that won’t make it better, but she might appreciate it

LiteralGoddess<3: ty polina

LiteralGoddess<3 sry i said u werent a good friend yesterday

ApolLester: well

ApolLester: i honestly don’t know if i am

ApolLester: but i’m trying

LiteralGoddess<3: u are

LiteralGoddess<3: im gonna go now

LiteralGod>:): i will too

LiteralGod>:): finish up dinner

FloralCoffin: Have fun?

ApolLester: talk to you later!

LiteralGoddess<3 left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LiteralGod>:) left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheScribe joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

ApolLester: oh its you again

TheScribe: Well

TheScribe: Me and Calliope didn’t expect this

Desi: Who is this?

ApolLester: Seshat. Egyptian goddess of writing and record-keeping

Desi: Ah

FloralCoffin: Whats she talking about?

ApolLester: seems like she pretends that this is a story or something

TheScribe: This chapter was supposed to be about Apollo

ApolLester: …like that

TheScribe: But I suppose this is good. It can’t ALL be about Apollo, after all

Hephaestus: That’s…

FloralCoffin: Uhhh

TheScribe: Hephaestus, bring up your “project” again, will you?

Hephaestus: Why?

TheScribe: We need to emphasize that this is an actual plot thread

ApolLester: what????

Hephaestus: What?!

Desi: What?

FloralCoffin: What??

TheScribe: Yeah

TheScribe: Go talk about that now

TheScribe left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

FloralCoffin: This is what people call “fourth-wall-breaking” right?

ApolLester: yeah

Desi: I am still curious about Fifi and Polina’s “project”

Hephaestus: Oh, come on

ApolLester: wow still with the nicknames

Hephaestus: You’re really bringing that up again because a weird fourth-wall-breaking Egyptian goddess told you to?

Desi: …Maybe

FloralCoffin: I mean, if its no big deal then why are you protesting talking about it?

Desi: Sephy has a point

FloralCoffin: You really like these nicknames

Desi: I must admit, they have a certain charm to them

ApolLester: awww

Desi: Enough chitchat. Me and Sephy want answers

ApolLester: you aren’t my dad

ApolLester: /emote petty child

ApolLester crosses his arms and pouts 👶 🙎 😣

Desi: Very mature

FloralCoffin: Just tell us!

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus let’s lie

Hephaestus: /whisper ApolLester Were we not already?

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus like directly. about what it is

Hephaestus: /whisper ApolLester All right

Hephaestus: It’s not my place to talk about what I create for other gods

Hephaestus: You’ll have to ask Apollo

ApolLester: wow thanks a lot Fifi

Desi: What’s the project, Polina?

ApolLester: nothing!

FloralCoffin: Its not nothing

ApolLester: ughhhh fiiiiine

ApolLester: but promise not to tell anyone

FloralCoffin: I promise! just tell us!

Desi: Please do, we promise

ApolLester: alright

ApolLester: it’s…

Hephaestus: /whisper ApolLester Say it’s a new pair of mechanical hands for that mortal friend of yours, the one with no hands

ApolLester: it’s a new pair of mechanical hands for Lu

ApolLester: she doesn’t have any hands. Nero made a child chop them off cause he’s a fucking monster

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus how did you know about Lu???

Desi: Oh

FloralCoffin: Oh

Hephaestus: /whisper ApolLester Me and the other gods watched you during your trials, didn’t you know that?

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus i know but i didn’t expect you to remember that piece of information, though

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus WOULD you be willing to make Lu a new pair of hands…?

Hephaestus: /whisper ApolLester We’ll see

ApolLester: /whisper Hephaestus thanks

FloralCoffin: Thats kind of anticlimactic

Desi: Yes, I thought it would be something more… scandalous. Maybe something embarrassing or something that breaks the rules.

FloralCoffin: Yeah

ApolLester: sorry to disappoint you

FloralCoffin: Ack Mother’s after me again

FloralCoffin: Gtg. she might come on the chat so watch out

Desi: In that case, I best be leaving as well

FloralCoffin left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

Desi left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

ApolLester: should we stay?

Hephaestus: I have things to do, so I’m going to leave as well

Hephaestus: Also, the requested recipients of the project have received their packages, according to my tracking devices

ApolLester: awesome!

ApolLester: you’ll take those tracking devices off, right? i’m not sure if i want a god knowing my mortal friends’ locations all the time

Hephaestus: I will

ApolLester: okay thanks

LoudPeasant joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LoudPeasant: WHY IS THE CHAT NAME DIFFERENT

Hephaestus: Goodbye.

Hephaestus left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

LoudPeasant: HEPHAESTUS? WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE?

LoudPeasant: I THOUGHT HE HATED SOCIAL MEDIA

ApolLester: he was just telling me about something

ApolLester: i assume this is Demeter, and that Hera changed your username?

LoudPeasant: YES

ApolLester: okay

ApolLester: how’s it been going between you and Leto?

LoudPeasant: SHE STILL WON’T TALK TO ME

LoudPeasant: I’M GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWEL

LoudPeasant: DON’T REMIND ME OF MY PAIN

ApolLester: that’s not how it works…

ApolLester: also edgy much…

LoudPeasant: SHUSH BOY

LoudPeasant: WHERE IS PERSEPHONE? I SAW HER ON HER PHONE. IT’S SUMMER. SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME

ApolLester: maybe she needed a break

LoudPeasant: A BREAK FROM HER OWN MOTHER?!

ApolLester: i mean…

ApolLester: you know what, i’m gonna go now

ApolLester left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheWriter joined the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheWriter: Hello Demeter

LoudPeasant: WHO ARE YOU

TheWriter: Calliope (why does no one recognize me?)

TheWriter: It’s time for you to go

LoudPeasant: GO WHERE?

TheWriter: Out of the chat. It’s the end of the chapter and you gods are being really stubborn

TheWriter: Now me and Seshat have to force-end the chapter

TheWriter: So annoying

LoudPeasant: YOU CAN’T SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!!

TheWriter: Tell you what

TheWriter: How about you find Leto and try to talk to her?

LoudPeasant: I’VE TRIED THAT

TheWriter: Try it again. I’ll wish you good luck

LoudPeasant: My life doesn’t revolve around Leto, you know

LoudPeasant: I care for her, but I am more than my feelings

TheWriter: I know

TheWriter: But I also know she’s an important part of your life, and that your life would be much better if you were close with her again

TheWriter: By the way, I commend you for not typing in all caps for once

LoudPeasant: Whatever

LoudPeasant: Bye

LoudPeasant left the chat: “Ancient Gods”

TheWriter: All going according to plan…

TheWriter: *Laughs menacingly*

TheWriter: I wonder what the other gods will think of that when they scroll up

TheWriter: Goodbye, reader :) 

TheWriter left the chat: “Ancient Gods”