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Chapter Text

The first thing Toshirou was aware of before even opening his eyes was the steady Beep… Beep… Beep… of the EKG. As soon as his mind registered the worryingly familiar noise, he began to notice the dull ache in the back of his head. Suddenly, he could feel everything, the IV drip connected to his hand, the soft hospital blankets, the bandages around his head, someone’s hand gripping his own almost painfully.

This last one was the most confusing one. He was used to waking up in the hospital due to his dangerous line of work, but waking up to someone grabbing him? Was Kondo that worried about him? It’s not exactly usual for his Commander to grab his hand like this, at least not when Toshirou is unconscious. He usually reserves his physical displays of affection for when Toshirou is already awake and can see him crying over his latest incident. And he couldn’t hear his usual sobbing which was the strangest part of this.

Toshirou did his best trying to open his eyes. He was momentarily blinded by the bright lights of the hospital room. He immediately closed them again, groaning from the brightness of the room.

“To-Toshirou!”

That- that hadn’t been Kondo’s voice…

Toshirou opened his eyes slowly, eyes squinting to get used to the bright light and looked to his side where the person with an unknown voice was holding his hand. He took the person’s features slowly, mind slowly processing what he was seeing, head beginning to ache even more. 

A silver haired man was looking at him with worry evident in his face. He had curly hair and dark red eyes. He was wearing a strange attire. A black undershirt with a white yukata with blue swirls carelessly hanging over his left shoulder while his other shoulder was left uncovered by it. He had strong looking arms and Toshirou’s instincts told him he wasn’t someone to be messed with.

And he was a complete stranger. 

He tried standing up, ready to get as far away from this stranger as he could. Was he some Joui that had captured him? Was Toshirou still in danger? He couldn’t exactly rememeber how he ended up here. Was this man the cause of his injury? Where is Kondo and the rest of the Shinsengumi?

The man placed both his hands over Toshirou’s shoulder, pushing him back down on the bed. “Oi! Careful! You just woke up!” The man exclaimed after seeing Toshirou struggle to sit up, worry evident in his voice. “You can’t move around like that after that hit in your head!” 

The man’s loud worried voice was making his head throb even more, his headache worsening by the second. He struggled weakfully on the man’s grip on his shoulders. “Don’t touch me!” Toshirou growled at the man, voice hoarse. 

The man froze, his hands still on Toshirou's shoulders. The worried look not leaving his face. Why did this stranger look at him with such worry? Weren’t they enemies? 

“To-Toshirou… are you feeling alright?” The man asked, his hands not leaving Toshirou yet.

Toshirou slapped one of his hands off, finally managing to make the man step back. “Who the hell are you?” He growled, glaring at the man.

The man took a sharp intake of breath, taking a step away from him. Before either of them could say anything else, the door slammed open, shooting a sharp painful throb in Toshirou’s head from the loud noise. 

“Toshi!” Kondo shouted. Tears and snot all over his face. “You’re finally awake!”

Toshirou’s eyes widened, seeing his Commander. “Kondo-san!” He was fine! Then was this man not dangerous?

He looked between Kondo and the stranger. The stranger had a blank look on his face, the worry seemingly gone from his features. He looked tense and was staring at Toshirou intensely, making him feel uncomfortable. 

Kondo went immediately to hug him, the stranger silently leaving room for him to move to Toshirou’s side. Toshirou relaxed on the familiar feeling of Kondo hugging him. He didn’t hug back as per usual, but having a known warmth surrounding him after waking in a hospital bed next to a stranger made him feel safer. 

“Kondo-san… what happened?” Toshirou asked as his Commander sobbed into his thin hospital gown, wetting it. Toshirou kept staring at the stranger who was now looking at the floor, frowning slightly. 

“Eh? You don’t remember?” Kondo asked, pulling away from the hug and Toshirou shook his head. “You were on a mission by the Terminal and were ambushed by a terrorist group. There was an explosion and you hit your head. It was pretty bad, you were unconscious for a week.” He explained. Toshirou couldn’t remember such a mission. “We were all worried about you. The doctors were not sure you would wake up” He sobbed again, snot rolling down his face along with the tears. “Gin-san hasn’t left your side since then. You really worried us, Toshi!”

At this, Toshirou looked back at the stranger, supposedly ‘Gin-san’ , and saw him standing there, almost awkwardly with a frown still on his face. “Gin-san?” Toshirou asked with a confused frown. 

Kondo nodded. “Yeah. Right, Gin-san?” Kondo asked, looking back at the stranger.

Instead of answering, Gin-san raised his head to stare blankly at Toshirou. “Toshirou…” Toshirou raised an eyebrow at the informal way this stranger talked to him. “You know who I am… r-right?” He asked nervously, voice betraying his blank face. 

Toshirou just stared at him with a frown as Kondo looked between them with a confused look. “Eh? What do you mean, Gin-san?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t Toshi know who his own husband is?”

Toshirou took a sharp intake of breath which made him actually choke on air. He coughed loudly as Kondo went to his side again, patting his back roughly much to his whole body’s protest. The man looked at him with a mix of emotions that Toshirou was too tired to decipher. Once he was finally able to calm down he looked panicked at Kondo. “Husband?!” He shouted. “What do you mean husband?!”

Kondo furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head in confusion. “Eh… you know… when you marry someone that’s usually what you call your spouse… Toshi, you know this.”

Toshirou just stared at him dumbfounded. “He doesn’t remember me, Gorilla.” The stranger said. 

Both Toshirou and Kondo looked at the silver haired man with shock. “Remember you?! Who the fuck are you?!” Toshirou asked.

Kondo’s eyes widened, looking at him in panic. “Toshi! You lost your memories?!” He asked.

Toshirou frowned. “Memories…?” He mumbled. “I- I don’t know…” He said, looking again at the stranger. “I don’t remember ever seeing that man before. Much less… marrying him…” He sneered. 

The stranger flinched, as if in pain, but remained otherwise silent, staring now at the floor. “What- what’s the last thing you remember, Toshi?” Kondo asked. 

Toshirou tried to think. “I think it was Sougo’s birthday party…” He mumbled, wondering why that was his last memory. Ugh, he didn’t want his last memory to be Sougo slamming his own birthday cake in Toshirou’s face, with lit candles and all.  

Kondo raised an eyebrow. “Sougo’s birthday? That was ages ago…” He mumbled. “We’re already in February…”

Toshirou furrowed his eyebrows, this was not helping him understand the situation. 

“What birthday?” The stranger asked, making both stare at him. “How old was he turning?” His voice sounded almost desperate despite the mostly blank look on his face. His eyes reminded him of those of a dead fish, but his stance seemed aflicted. 

“His 17th…” Toshirou mumbled, staring at both men sharing a troubled look. “What… what’s going on?” He asked. 

The stranger fell to the nearest chair and stared blankly at the ceiling. Kondo gasped loudly. “17th?!! Toshi!” He shouted. “That was years ago!!!”

Toshirou raised an eyebrow, he is sure he has never been as confused as he is right now. “Years? How… how long has it been?” He asked, worried. 

“6 years…” The stranger mumbled. “All the time we have known each other…”

“6 years?!” Toshirou asked, shocked. “I was in a coma for 6 years?!”

“No, no. Just a week.” Kondo said with a troubled look. “You just forgot the last 6 years of your life.”

“Oh…” Toshirou mumbled, that was slightly better, maybe... Though he is not sure he is understanding anything that’s going on. His throbbing head was definitely not helping him understand what the two of them were saying. “And… and I got married in those 6 years?” That somehow was the most unbelievable part of this whole thing. 

Kondo nodded. “2 years ago…”

Toshirou shook his head, frowning. “There’s no way that’s true.” He said confidently. “I would never get married to anyone…” Not even her…

“But you did.” The silver haired man said, glaring at him with steely eyes. “You married me so now I’m your husband.”

Toshirou sneered at the man. “You haven’t even told me who you are. Why would I marry someone that doesn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves.”

The man stood and for a moment Toshirou thought he would punch him, but he held himself back before he could fully reach the bed. The man sighed and turned away, glaring at the opposite wall instead. 

“Toshi… you met Gin-san years ago… remember?” Kondo said slowly.

Toshirou shook his head. “He met me 5 years ago. And he doesn’t remember the last 6, so yeah, he doesn’t remember me.” ‘Gin-san’ said bitterly, crossing his arms almost protectively over his chest.

Kondo looked between them worriedly. “I… I’ll go talk to the doctor.” He said shakily, standing up from beside Toshirou’s bed and going towards the door. “I leave him in your care, Gin-san.”

“Ah! Kondo-san, wait!” Toshiro said, but he was already gone, leaving him with a complete stranger. Toshirou turned to look at Gin-san again who was still glaring at the wall. “So… What’s your name?” He asked tentatively.

“Do you even care to know?” He asked harshly. 

Toshirou glared at him. “Look, I’m sorry I forgot you. It’s not like I asked for it.” He said angrily.

The man sighed, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall to his sides, stance relaxing, looking almost defeated. “Sakata Gintoki… your husband.” He looked at Toshirou with an unreadable face. 

Toshirou nodded. “I’m Hijikata Toshirou, but I guess you already know that…” He felt stupid introducing himself to someone who already knew him, but it came before he could stop it.

“Actually…” The man huffed, almost amused, stance relaxing more, looking less defeated. “You changed your name after we got married. You’re now Sakata Toshirou.” He smirked.

Toshirou gaped at him. “There’s no way that’s true!” He exclaimed.

The man rolled his eyes. “It’s true. Even if everyone still calls you Hijikata, you’re now legally Sakata.” He went to the drawer beside Toshirou’s bed. “Here, look for yourself.” He said, taking out what Toshirou could identify as a Shinsengumi badge. 

Toshirou took said badge and saw the name on it, beside his photo. It said ‘Shinsengumi’s Vice-Commander, Sakata Toshirou’ . 

Sakata Toshirou?!

“Huh?!” Toshirou exclaimed, looking at the badge closer. He didn’t look that different from what he remembered. “There’s no way this is real! This must be some kind of joke!” 

“Huh?! Why would I be joking about this, Mayora?!” Sakata shouted. 

“Huh?! Who are you calling Mayora?!” He shouted back. 

“You obviously! Or did you also forget your gross obsession with mayo?!” Sakata shouted.

He knew about his love for mayonnaise? “You leave mayonnaise alone!” Toshirou shouted. 

“Ahem…” They were both interrupted by a nurse by the door. “I have to check on the patient.” She said, checking some files in her hands. “Are you his husband, sir?” She asked, looking at Sakata.

Sakata nodded. “I am.” He said.

She nodded. “I’m gonna check on some vital signs and then I need you to sign some documents. His Commander said something about memory loss, is that correct?”

Sakata nodded. “Yes, he-”

“Oi! Why are you asking all of that to him?” Toshirou asked, annoyed at being blatantly ignored. The nurse and Sakata turned to look at him. The nurse with surprise and Sakata with a stoic glance. “I’m the patient here.”

The nurse glanced briefly at Sakata who shrugged before she turned back to him. “Alright, Sakata-san.” Toshirou pulled a face at being called like that. “How are you feeling?” She asked.

“My head fucking hurts.” He complained, crossing his arms. Between the hit he apparently sustained and all the confusing information he was still trying to process, his head was throbbing painfully. 

Sakata’s stoic stance quickly melted to one of worry, the nurse didn’t look surprised at this. “That should be normal, with the hit you sustained, Sakata-san.” Toshirou grimaced again at that name. “You have a concussion and we need to check on you. We’re going to give you something for your headache soon, but first we need to do some more tests. We just need your husband to sign the agreement first.”

“Why can’t I do that myself?” Toshirou asked, annoyed.

“You have a concussion.” She said as if that explained everything. 

“Just give me that.” Sakata grumbled, taking out the documents from the nurse’s hands and signing them with disinterest without even reading them. “Here. Now do whatever you need to him.” She nodded before approaching Toshirou. She began to check on him and his vital signs in silence. Toshirou felt awkward by not only the nurse carefully proding him everywhere, but also by Sakata carefully watching everything. “When will he be allowed to come back home?” Sakata asked out of nowhere. 

She pulled away from Toshirou, finishing writing everything down on her clipboard. “It depends on what is shown on the CT scan and the MRI, but given the fact that he spent a week unconscious and has now forgotten several years of his life then he may have to stay here for a few more days so we can continue to check on him.”

Sakata didn’t look particularly pleased by this but nodded. “And when will he get back his memories?”

The nurse hesitated, her face turning pitying as she glanced at Sakata. “We can’t be sure about that. It may be in a few days or it may be… never.” She sent a pitying glance at both of them which Toshirou hated. 

Sakata frowned. “And what can we do to make him remember?” He asked. 

“Just wait.” She said. “There’s nothing else we can do.”

Sakata sighed, shoulder slumping. “I see…”

“Now, we need to do a scan on Sakata-san.” She said. “We need to make sure everything is fine with his head.”

Sakata huffed, eyes rolling. “He eats mayonnaise straight from the bottle. You don’t need a scan to know he is messed up in the head.” He said casually joking in what seemed like a practisied response.

“Oi!” Toshirou shouted at him. “Who do you think you are, huh?!” Sakata’s face soured again.

The nurse sighed. “Let’s do the scan first.”

Sakata nodded and then pushed forward a wheeling chair, leaving it by Toshirou’s side. “I don’t need that!” Toshirou shouted. 

Sakata glared at him, as if telling him to shut up with his eyes. “Sakata-san, it would be best if you remain completely on bed rest for a while.” The nurse said, and Toshirou grumbled but allowed the nurse with some help from Sakata to help him into the chair. She may have been right because the action of changing positions made his vision more blurry. This may actually be the worst head injury he ever remembers getting. 

Sakata began strolling the chair out of the room when Toshirou turned to glare at him. “Oi! Where do you think you’re taking me?!” He asked.

“Huh?! Didn’t you hear the nurse, idiot? You have to rest.” Sakata said glaring at him. 

“She can take me there herself, right?” He turned to the nurse who pulled an annoyed face but nodded. “You can just stay here. Or go wherever you want, I guess. I don’t care.”

Sakata glared at him but nodded, standing still as the nurse took the chair and pushed it forward. Toshirou continued to watch him as he was pushed forward until he was no longer able to see him.

There is simply no way he got married to this man. Toshirou simply can’t believe he would ever marry anyone, much less this guy. He looked like a complete bum and he was rude. And he had curly hair, who even has a perm nowadays? And he is not his type. Sure Toshirou may not have an actual type and Sakata may be kinda attractive in his own way, but he is nothing like Mitsuba, the woman that he still loves. 

There’s no way he married anyone when he is still in love with Mitsuba, even if he hasn’t seen her in years. Even if he doesn’t intend to ever marry her. There’s simply no way he would marry someone else when his heart already belongs to her. 

This must be some elaborate joke to mess with him.

Chapter Text

As soon as Toshirou was out of sight, Gintoki let himself crumble on the nearest chair. His husband just lost 6 years of his memory and thus, forgot everything about him and their history together. After everything they have gone through before and during their marriage. And now Gintoki is just a stranger to him, to his own husband.  

“Gin-chan!” There was a shout at the end of the hall that made Gintoki’s back straighten. 

He controlled his face, not allowing any emotions to slip through. He turned to see Kagura and Shinpachi walking towards him. The young woman, now 19 years old, was smiling widely, waving at him not minding the young man next to her who she was hitting in the face, crooking his glasses. 

Shinpachi, now 21, briefly glared at her, taking a step away from her. “Hey, Gin-san.” He said, smiling at him. 

There have been several changes in both of the kids, now young adults, apperances in the last few years. Kagura for instance, is way taller than before, now reaching Gintoki’s nose with the top of her head. Her hair was longer, too, now reaching her waist. She still uses her usual red cheongsams and her hair clips. She has grown into a beautiful woman that makes Gintoki, Umibozu and even Kamui nervous with the amount of males flocking around her like crocoaches. Though, more often than not, she doesn’t notice anyone’s advances.

Shinpachi on the other hand, has not changed his style much, but he has grown into his manly features. With a stronger jawline and broader shoulders he no longer looks like an awkward teenager. Even if he is still as much of a virgin otaku as he was 5 years ago when Gintoki met him. His ever present glasses have not changed either in these years. He is slightly taller than Kagura.  

Despite the years and Gintoki’s marriage, they are still a family. Even if Kagura sometimes visits her father and brother in outerspace, visits that more often than not devolve into alien hunts. And Shinpachi sometimes is busy with managing the dojo alongside Otae. But they still work together as yorozuya whenever they can actually get a job. 

The most drastic change in Gintoki’s life these past few years is definitely his marriage with Toshirou. 

“Huh? Where’s Toshi?” Kagura asked, pulling Gintoki out of his musings. She stood by Toshirou’s room, which was currently empty. Her face turned worried. “He… he is fine, yes?” She looked at him worringly, Shinpachi sending him a similar look.

Gintoki took a deep breath and nodded. “He woke up.” He said calmly, not letting his voice betray how he was actually feeling. “The nurse took him to get him a scan.”

Both kids sighed in relief. “Ah, I got worried for a second.” Shinpachi said, with a relieved smile. “With what the doctors said that he may never wake up…” He grimaced, looking at Gintoki before forcing a big smile. “But he is fine now, right? So there’s nothing to worry about.” Gintoki remained silent, not meeting their gazes. “Everything is fine, right , Gin-san?” Shinpachi asked more doubtfully.

Gintoki took another deep breath, closing his eyes. “He forgot the last 6 years of his life...”

“What?!” Both kids exclaimed. 

“Si-six years?!” Shinpachi repeated, staring at him with a shocked and worried face. “Bu-but that means…”

“Toshi doesn’t remember us?” Kagura asked with a small voice. Gintoki nodded, looking at the floor. “But- but he remembers you, right, Gin-chan?”

Gintoki shook his head. “He doesn’t remember anyone he met in the last 6 years. Not you. Not me… he has forgotten everything.” Gintoki leaned against the back of the seat, letting his head rest against the cold wall as he turned to stare at the ceiling. “And the doctor is not sure he will ever get those memories back.”

“NO!” Kagura whined. “But what about everything?!”

“There’s nothing to do but wait and see if he gets his memories back.” Gintoki said monotunously. 

“I- It could be like that time you lost your memories, Gin-san. Re-remember? Maybe he will just get them eventually so everything should be fine soon, r-right?” Shinpachi said worriedly.

Gintoki shrugged. “Maybe…”

There was a long silence. “You should rest, Gin-san.” Said Shinpachi sorrowfully. “You have been waiting restlessly for Toshi-san to wake up. You need to rest too.”

Gintoki moved his hand dismissively. “It’s fine. I have to wait for the scan results.” He said. 

Kagura reached for his hand, she still looked troubled, and it was clear she was holding back tears, but she still made him stand up with a determined face. “You have to eat at least, Gin-chan. Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

Gintoki nodded, letting them pull him towards the cafeteria for something to eat. He is not really sure what’s the last thing he ate. Maybe the anpan Yamazaki brought him last night, though he doesn’t remember if he actually ate it. 

He ate in silence, the kids sharing equal troubled looks, glancing at him worriedly every now and then. Eventually, they silently followed him back to Toshirou’s room. They all went inside only to see Toshirou already sitting there, looking at the window with a frown.

“Toshi!” “Toshi-san!” Both Kagura and Shinpachi exclaimed in surprise. 

Toshirou was startled by them and turned to look at them, not a sign of recognition on his face. “Who are you calling Toshi?” Toshirou grumbled. 

Both kids gasped and it became evidently harder for them to hold back the tears. It’s been so long since Toshirou stopped complaining about being called Toshi. 

Gintoki sighed, putting his hands on both of their shoulders. “Why don’t you leave me alone with him for a bit?” He said. 

“B-but…” Kagura mumbled. 

Shinpachi sighed. “Let’s go, Kagura. We can talk to Toshi-san later.” He said, pulling her away with himself. 

Gintoki turned back to Toshirou who had been looking at the whole interaction with confusion. “Who are they?” He asked. “Do I know them?”

Gintoki nodded. “They are my kids. They-”

“Kids?!” Toshirou shouted in surprise. “Wha- You have kids?!” He asked. He looked at him with a frown. “How old are you? Did I marry an old man?” He asked with a sneer.

Gintoki sighed a little annoyed by the whole thing. “We’re the same age, idiot.” He grumbled. “And technically they’re not exactly my kids. They just… I guess we’re just family…” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “You’re the one that keeps calling them my kids, idiot…”

“Oh…” Toshirou mumbled. He pursued his lips. “Does that mean I’m some kind of step-father?” He asked.

Gintoki huffed, a little amused by the idea. Toshirou (the one with the memories) would hate being called a step-parent. “Not really… Though Kagura sometimes calls you her Earth mami so there’s that.”

“Earth mami?! What the hell is that?!” Toshirou asked, shocked. 

Gintoki rolled his eyes. “It means that she sees you as his maternal figure here on Earth or something. I don’t know, go ask her.”

Toshirou stared at him silently. “How old are they?” He asked.

“Kagura is 19 and Shinpachi is 21.” He said. 

Toshiro nodded with a frown. “I… have they been waiting for me to wake up?” He asked tentatively.

Gintoki nodded stiffly. “They were quite worried about you…”

Toshirou’s face turned guilty. “I don’t remember them…”

“I know.” Gintoki said plainly. 

They stared at each other silently. Toshirou’s face was a mix of confusion and guilt. Gintoki tried to hide the grief he was currently feeling. 

“I… what- what should I even tell them? Should I… should I say something to them? I-I don’t know how to handle this.” Toshirou stuttered. 

Gintoki sighed. “As long as you’re not rude to them you can do whatever you want. They already know you lost your memories so they are not actually expecting you to remember them right now.”

Toshirou nodded. “Umm… where’s Kondo-san?” He asked. 

Gintoki shrugged. “He said something about going back to the barracks to inform everyone about the situation.”

“Ah…” There was a long silence. “How is- How is everyone at the Shinsengumi? Are they still…” he stopped talking, his face grimacing.

Gintoki nodded. “Everyone is fine. There may be a few more people you don’t remember, but they’re fine too. Tetsu-kun and Yamazaki were here last night.”

Toshirou raised an eyebrow. “Tetsu?”

“Eh… you don’t remember him. Met him about 5 years ago. He is your assistant.” Gintoki explained. 

“Assistant? I have never needed or wanted an assistant.” Toshirou said with a confused frown.

Gintoki rolled his eyes. “Tell that to your reckless ass that almost got himself killed to save Tetsu-kun. Twice .”

Toshirou frowned, but didn’t add more to this. “And Sougo? Is he alright?” He asked. 

Gintoki nodded again. “Just as sadistic as always.” They shared a smile. 

“He still hasn’t changed, huh?” Toshirou smiled. 

“We are still the same idiots as always.” Gintoki said almost proudly.

“We?” Toshirou raised an eyebrow.

Gintoki deflated. “Ah, right. It’s not like you would remember…” He said bitterly. They remained in another tense silence for a while. “How did the scan go?” He asked.

Toshirou shrugged. “It went fine. I guess, but they didn’t tell me anything so...” 

Before either of them could say anything, the door fell open and Kagura and Shinpachi fell to the floor, startling Toshirou.

Gintoki sighed exasperated, of course they had been listening into their conversation. They haven’t changed a bit, after all. “I told you to wait.” Gintoki grumbled. 

“But, Gin-chan, we want to see Toshi too!” Kagura said.

Gintoki was about to refuse when Toshirou stopped him. “It’s fine. They can stay.” He said hesitantly.

Gintoki looked at him worried. “You don’t have to force yourself. I know this is too much for you right now.”

Toshirou scoffed. “Huh?! I can handle more than just 2 kids talking to me.” He said annoyed.

Gintoki sighed exasperated. “Go on then.”

This was all the permission the kids needed to invade Toshirou’s personal space, both sitting really close to him to either side of the bed. “Toshi! You idiot! You know how worried Mami was over you?!” Kagura exclaimed. 

Toshirou frowned, bemused. “ Mami ?”

“Yes, we were really worried, Toshi-san.” Shinpachi said, nodding. 

“Right… sorry about worrying you…” Toshirou mumbled, still looking at Kagura bemused. “Sorry, did that girl just call herself my mami?” He stared at Gintoki, looking lost.

Gintoki huffed, rolling his eyes. “Just ignore her.”

It looked like he was about to refute, but the kids continued. “You owe me a sukonbu packet, yes?” Kagura said.

“Huh? Why?” Toshirou asked, confused. 

“And you also owe me the new Otsuu Sticker Album.” Shinpachi added. 

“Oi! Stop trying to swindle him when his memories are gone! You can do that when he gets them back.” Gintoki huffed. 

Toshirou briefly glared at the three, but ignored this. “Otsuu? Who’s that?” He asked with a frown.

Shinpachi gasped loudly. “You don’t know who Otsuu is?” He asked, outraged.

Gintoki hitted him on the back of his head. “She debuted only 5 years ago. Remember, idiot?” Shinpachi glared briefly at him, but nodded, rubbing his head where Gintoki had hitted him. 

Shinpachi sighed. “Well, since you don’t remember her then I can introduce you again to the best Idol in the universe. She-”

He never got to finish his ramble on Otsuu because the doctor chose that moment to barge into the room, looking down at some files. “Sakata-san?” He asked outloud, looking directly at Toshirou.

Toshirou kept staring at Shinpachi until Kagura nodged his shoulder. “That’s you, Toshi.” She whispered. 

“Ah, right.” Toshirou sat up straighter, looking at the doctor. “Yes?” 

“We have your results.” He then looked at Gintoki. “This is your husband, right?” 

Toshirou grimaced. “I guess…?” It sounded more like a question than an affirmation.

“Well, the good news is that nothing unusual was shown in the scans, so we can rule out any major concussion. You will still have to rest for at least a month before you do any kind of heavy activity.” He moved around the files. “You work at the Shinsengumi, right?” Toshirou nodded. “It will be preferable that you stay out of any dangerous activity your job may cause for a while. Otherwise, your head injury could worsen and it would be harder to recover from it.” Toshirou pulled a displeased face, but nodded. “But you can do other daily tasks as long as you don’t exert yourself. No heavy lifting for a few weeks too.”

“When will he be able to come back home?” Gintoki asked, sticking a finger up his nose. He ignored Toshirou's disgusted glance at this. 

“In a couple more days. We still want to check his progress for a while. After that he can safely go back home. If the headaches persist, come back again and we will give him a prescription for the pain.”

“And what about his memories?” Gintoki asked, trying to not sound as worried as he was in front of the kids and Toshirou. 

The doctor put on a pitying face. “We can’t tell that for sure. The mind is a very delicate thing. He could either remember in a few days or never again.”

Gintoki nodded, stony faced. Kagura wailed. “But what about all the time we have spent together?!” She asked. “We have been through so much together, but now Toshi doesn’t even remember us!” She sobbed loudly.

Toshirou’s face turned guilty, looking away from the girl. “Sorry… I feel like this is my fault.”

“Toshi!” Kagura wailed. “Please try to remember! You have to remember!”

“I-”

Gintoki sighed, putting a hand on top of the girl's head. “C’mon, why don’t you and Shinpachi go to the cafeteria for some snacks. You can bring Toshirou something to eat too and we can eat together once you have calmed down.”

Kagura’s lip wobbled, but nodded. “Okay…” She looked at Toshiou with guilt. “Sorry for reacting that way…” 

Toshirou stared at her in shock. “I- I’m sorry…”

Her eyes watered again, but she shook her head. “I know this is not your fault.” She sniffed. “If only we could kick those bastards’ asses again.”

Toshirou raised an eyebrow. “Huh? You got involved in tha-?”

“Yeah, yeah. Now go on. Stuff your face on hospital snacks.” Gintoki shoved both kids towards the door. “And you better bring me strawberry milk when you come back. And don’t forget the mayo for Toshirou!”

“But, Gin-cha-” The kids finally stteped out of the room which Gintoki closed with a sigh. 

He took a moment to take a deep breath and turned back to see both men staring at him. He put on his dead fish eyes look. “So, doctor… is there any way to jog his memory?” Gintoki asked. 

The doctor shook his head. “Nothing that is safe, besides telling him of his life from these past years. Maybe interacting with people and places from his current life may help, but if he starts getting headaches then he should rest from any sort of strong emotion.”

Gintoki nodded. “Alright…”

“Well, that would be all from my part. Are there any other questions?” The doctor said and Gintoki shook his head.

“Umm… where’s my phone?” Toshirou asked. 

Before the doctor could answer Gintoki beat him to it. “It got destroyed during the raid.” He said. “Why?”

Toshirou stared at him. “I want to talk with Kondo-san.” 

Gintoki took out his own phone, handing it to him. “Here, you can use my phone.”

“Well, if that’s all. I’ll take my leave.” The doctor nodded at them and left. 

Toshirou didn’t even look up as he typed Kondo’s number on the phone. The contact ‘Gorilla’ appeared on the screen, making Toshirou frown. “Gorilla?”

Gintoki snorted. “That’s your Commander.”

Toshirou glared at him, but pressed the call button. The phone rang and after a few rings, Kondo answered the phone. Gintoki couldn’t hear the conversation going on on the other side as Toshirou pressed the phone to his ear. “No, it’s me, Kondo-san.” Toshirou said before grimacing, glancing briefly at him. “Yes, he is still with me.” He frowned again. “No, I haven’t gotten back my memories yet.” Another silence. “The doctor said everything is fine. Nothing showed up on the scans so I can go back home in a few days.” A silence. “I’m fine.” He gritted out. There was a long silence before Toshirou sighed. “One month, but that’s way too long. I’m fine, seriously. I can go back to-”

“You’re not going back to work before the month is over.” Gintoki interrupted with a firm tone.

Toshirou glared at him. “Do you mind? I’m having a conversation with my boss.”

Gintoki glared at him. “I won’t let you convince the Gorilla to let you go back to work earlier than you should. You’ll be lucky if I let you do any paperwork during this month. But no patrols, no raids, nothing that makes you sweat. You heard the doctor. You can’t have any kind of exertion.” He said with an authoritative voice. 

Toshirou lowered the phone as he glared at him. “I’m sorry, but who the fuck do you think you are to order me around?” He sneered. 

Gintoki gritted his teeth, fists clenching tightly. “I’m your fucking husband, idiot.”

“For me you’re not.” Toshirou growled. “You’re just a stranger that everyone says I married.” Gintoki glared at him, trying to contain himself from punching his own husband. “Now, if you please, leave me alone. I need to talk with my boss.” 

Gintoki nodded stiffly and left the room without another word. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he sat down on the bench outside the room, burying his face into his hands.

Chapter Text

Toshirou glared at Sakata’s back as he left the room. 

Who does he think he is to order him around? Yeah, he may be his husband, for some reason, but either way, husband or not Toshirou won’t let a stranger tell him what to do. And besides, he still doesn’t know what his future self thought when he decided to marry that man. He had promised himself a long time ago that he wouldn’t love anyone again after Mitsuba. 

A part of him always remained faithful to her despite the circumstances. And he can’t believe he ever went back on that. And with that guy? He saw him picking his nose earlier. He is rude and has stupid hair. He may not be completely ugly, but he is definitely not Toshirou’s type. Not like he actually has a type of man since he has never had a relationship with one before. Or with anyone really. But here he is now, married to a man.

“Tos-” A muffled sound made him remember he was supposed to be on a call with Kondo. 

“Ah, sorry, Kondo-san. I had to deal with some stuff and-”

“Toshi…” Kondo’s voice sounded sad and… and disappointed. “Why did you say all that stuff to Gin-san?”

Toshirou winced. “You heard?”

“Yeah…” Kondo sighed. “I know this all may be too much for you, Toshi, but… so it is for Gin-san. You don’t get it. He was quite worried about you. He hasn’t been sleeping and decided to just stay by your side until you wake up.” Toshirou remained silent, feeling like a little kid that was being berated by their parents for being mean to their sibling. “I know you don’t remember him, but try to be nice, will you? Gin-san doesn’t deserve the harsh treatment.” He said softly.

Toshirou flinched, feeling the guilt suffocating him. “I’m sorry… I will apologize later.” He said looking down at his hands. “It’s just… It’s just impossible for me to think I could ever marry anyone. I- This is just… so confusing.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. 

Kondo sighed. “I understand that. You lost 6 years of your life, Toshi. It must be so confusing to wake up in a future where you’re married to someone you don’t even know. But this is not Gin-san’s fault. If anything, we managed to come out alive from the raid thanks to him.”

“About that…” Toshirou played with the bedsheets nervously. “What happened? No one has told me anything.”

Kondo let out a long breath. “There was a raid at the Terminal. We were going to raid a terrorist group that was known for smuggling drugs and weapons and human trafficking and they were about to leave the planet with hostages. However, it was a trap…” Kondo sighed, sounding tired. “It was too sudden. We tried to regroup, but Tetsu was drugged and taken to the dock… and you went after him. When you were there one of them threw a bomb at you and you hit your head as you fell…” There was a shaky breath. “That’s when the yorozuya came in. Katsura told them about the trap and they came to our aid, but you were already unconscious by then. The rest of us managed to come out fine with only a few bruises, but you, Toshi… it was pretty bad. We weren’t sure you'd make it.” 

Toshirou had several questions, his mind already reeling from all the information, the pain at the back of his eyes increasing. “I- so… Were the terrorists arrested?” He asked first, unable to form any other question. 

“Some of them, the rest of them were killed in action. But we got every single one of them. So that case is solved.” Kondo said. 

“I see…” His head hurt a little too much to ask anything else so he just sighed and rubbed his temple. “Thanks, Kondo-san. I needed to know how I got here.”

“Yes. I can also tell you how you got to meet Gin-san.” Kondo said, trying to sound more enthusiastic. “Yamazaki says that retelling some stuff can help you remember.”

“Maybe another time.” Toshirou said. “I think I’ll try to rest for now.”

“Okay, Toshi! See you! I will come visit you tomorrow!” Kondo said enthusiastically before Toshirou hung up and put the borrowed phone on the bedside table and laid down on the bed, holding his head in his hands. Suddenly, everything hurt, his head, his limbs, his chest. The guilt didn’t help. He turned around on the bed and decided to fake being asleep when Sakata came back. 

It took them a few minutes to come back so by the time Toshirou could faintly hear the kids' voices loudly approaching his hospital room he was actually beginning to fall asleep again despite the pain. But he tensed instead of continuing to fall asleep and waited for the trio of strangers to come inside his room.

“Toshi owns us big time, yes?” He heard the girl said just outside his room and Toshirou turned around to instead look at the wall and continue feigning being asleep. “The lunch lady looked at us weird for asking for his gross special, yes?”

What gross special was she talking about? They weren’t planning on poisoning him, right ?

“Yes, yes.” Sakata said boredly. “He is an idiot with a bad taste.” Toshirou heard the door open.

“That’s why he married you!” Kagura exclaimed with mischief clear in her voice.

“Oi! I-”

“Gin-san!” The boy exclaimed. “Shhh! It looks like Toshi-san is asleep.” He said even if he was as loud as the other two. 

There was a silence in which Toshirou could feel their stares drilling holes into his back. “Right…” Sakata said slightly quieter. “Why don’t you leave his food here with me and you two go back home. I will take care- I mean, just go…” There was a sigh. “He probably needs some rest.”

“But we barely got any time to talk to him!” Kagura exclaimed, not minding her tone and still as loud as always.

“Just go. You two can come back tomorrow.” 

There was another silence until he heard the boy sigh. “C’mon, Kagura. Gin-san can take care of Toshi-san. And he’s still healing so Toshi-san needs to rest.”

Another silence until the girl sighed too. “Fine.” She groaned. “But when he is out of here he owes me so much sukonbu!” She huffed and Toshirou heard the door being opened again. “And he is taking me to that restaurant with the good meat!” She added.

“Yeah, yeah. Just go.” Sakata said.

“Fine. Bye, Gin-chan.” Kagura said, her voice sounding further away. 

“Bye, Gin-san. See you tomorrow!” Shinpachi said too, leaving with the girl.

After the kids were gone, there was a long silence in which Toshirou hoped Sakata would leave too. After a while of not moving and pretending to be asleep he heard a deep sigh.

“They’re gone, you don’t have to continue pretending to be asleep.” Sakata said.

Toshirou flinched and turned around, seeing Sakata’s annoyed face. Why did it make him feel so guilty?

“You knew I was faking?” Toshirou asked sheepishly. He felt a little stupid for being childish enough to pretend to be asleep so he didn’t have to talk with strangers, and still being found out by one of them. “Why did you go along with it then? You could’ve told them I was faking.”

Sakata rolled his eyes. “I know you. You only pretend to be asleep when you don’t want to talk to someone.” He said stoically. “And I couldn’t tell the kids you didn’t want to talk to them after they waited a week for you to wake up.” Sakata’s eyes were devoid of any emotion, but his tone was laced with a hint of reproach. 

Toshirou winced, the guilt worsening. “Sorry…” He mumbled, looking away. “I just… I didn’t know what to tell them… How am I supposed to interact with them? What do kids their age like nowadays? They are older than Sougo and he is different from most kids his age, being a sadist and all. But-”

“You’re rambling.” Sakata said, interrupting him. “You only do that when you’re really nervous.”

Toshirou flinched. Why did it seem like this stranger knew him so well? How did he let someone get so close to him like this?

“First, you realize Sougo is older now, right? He is already 23 years old.”

“Right…” Toshirou sighed, frowning. He wondered how much he had changed. He hasn’t seen him yet. And he wonders if Sougo is purposely avoiding him or if he just doesn’t care enough to visit him. He tries to tell himself it’s for the best since he is not sure he would be able to avoid any murder attempts in his current condition.

“And two, you don’t have to worry too much about what you say to the kids.” Sakata continued. “They know you don’t remember them so they don’t actually expect you to know everything about them. You can just get to know them again.” 

“Right…” Toshirou mumbled.

There was another long silence in which he felt Sakata staring at him. Sakata sighed for what was probably the nth time that day. “If we’re making you so uncomfortable we can just give you some space.” He said, voice neutral.

Toshirou turned to stare at him. His face didn’t betray any emotion he felt and it made Toshirou feel even more tense, unable to read this man. He felt like he should be able to read him better since this man was supposedly his husband, but there was nothing familiar in his face, nothing Toshirou could understand, nothing to relate. 

“No, it’s fine. I just… need some time to adjust to this new life.” He mumbled, looking down at his hands. “I’m sorry for the way I’m acting.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Sakata said. There was another long silence and then he stepped closer to the bed, holding the plastic bag Toshirou hadn’t even noticed. “Here. You have to eat. The kids brought your favorite.” He said, placing the bag next to his bed. 

Toshirou peered inside the bag, noticing the bowl of rice and mayonnaise. He smiled. “They know I like mayonnaise?” He asked.

Sakata snorted. “Everyone knows.” He said amused. “Everyone knows you’re a mayo freak.”

Toshirou glared at him but this time less heatedly. “I’m not a mayo freak.” He said with no real bite. 

Sakata rolled his eyes. “Sure you aren’t.” He said sarcastically, but Toshirou ignored him and just started eating silently. 

Toshirou made himself relax, he was safe, this man won’t hurt him. Sakata is not so bad. He wouldn’t marry someone that wants to hurt him. 

After he was done eating, Sakata said goodbye, saying he would come back tomorrow. Toshirou felt slightly more calm with him gone, falling asleep quickly.

The next day, Toshirou was feeling better. The headache from the day before seemingly gone. Sakata came into his room early, though he didn’t look rested at all as he kept rubbing his shoulder and had dark eye bags under his eyes. Kondo came to visit early in the morning and stayed for a few hours until he left to attend his Commander duties. Or at least Toshirou hoped he actually left to do something productive. 

Around midday, Sakata’s kids came, making him feel nervous once again. He tried to make himself relax, but it seemed like Sakata discovered him. 

“Why don’t you come back later?” Sakata said to the kids with a yawn. “It’s already time for lunch.”

“Great! Then we can eat with Toshi!” Kagura exclaimed.

“Kagura… Toshirou is-”

“It’s fine.” Toshirou said, smiling stiffily. “I can handle eating.” He looked at Sakata, trying to convey to him he was fine hanging out with the kids.

Sakata sighed, frustrated. “Fine.”

“Yay! C’mon, Toshi! We should have a picnic at one of the tables in the yard.” The girl said enthusiastically. 

So the four of them went to the cafeteria. Toshirou walked there, insisting he was fine to do so. But the 3 insisted on him staying at one table in the yard as they all went to get them food. Toshirou sighed, waiting for them. It was a nice day for winter, a gentle cool breeze. Spring was getting closer. 

“Ah, have you heard?” He heard a nurse say a little too loudly behind him. “He stayed on that bench all night!” She giggled. “Such an attentive husband!”

“Yes… it’s so sad that his husband doesn’t even remember him…” Another nurse said, making Toshirou freeze. “He probably threw his own husband out. Poor guy, he could have gone back home, but he stayed here the whole night.” The nurses continued talking, walking away from him, their conversation drifting away. 

Were they talking about Gintoki and him?

“Poor Danna. But I did warn him you would end up hurting him too.” An actually familiar voice said.

“Sougo!” Toshirou turned around to stare at the sadist. He hasn’t changed that much, but he was slightly taller from what he remembers. He no longer looks like the young 17 year old boy he knows, he is older now. And he doesn’t look happy to see him, but that was nothing new. “You really have grown…” he mumbled. “So… did Kondo-san tell you I lost my memories?” He asked.

Sougo nodded. “You seem to have forgotten quite a lot of important stuff.” He said, voice monotunous, but something on it made Toshirou know he was annoyed. “Like my sister.”

Toshirou frowned. “What do you mean?” He asked warily. “I- I haven’t forgotten her.” He never would. “I just forgot 6 years of my life. Not 15.” 

Sougo’s eyes flashed with hatred. “Right, but then that means you don’t remember her death.”

And just like that, the breath was punched out of Toshirou, making him gasp loudly and choke at the same time. “Wh-what?” He gritted out.

“Aneue died 5 years ago. I just came here to let you know that.” Sougo said. “And before you ask, yes, you were an asshole to her till the end.”

Toshirou shook his head, the pain already returning. “No, that can’t be true.” She can’t be dead! But- but Sougo would never joke about that. He felt like throwing up. “I-I have to go.”

He isn’t sure how he got there, but one moment he was with Sougo in the yard and the next he was on the roof, curled up in a ball close to the railing. His breath was coming irregularly as he gripped his hair firmly with his trembling fingers. There was a sharp pain deep in his skull that did nothing to quell the pain in his heart. 

Mitsuba is dead.

And apparently he was an asshole to her till the end. What did he do to her? Was he at least able to tell her he loves her? Did she suffer? Was it her lungs or did somehting else caused her death? Did she ever get married? Is this why he married someone else?

Did he only marry Sakata to forget Mitsuba? Would he have married her instead now that he knows he is capable of marriage? Would he have dared to risk her life to make her his wife had he known that earlier? Where would Sakata fit in such a future where Toshirou dared to marry Mitsuba? 

“Toshirou!” Toshirou snapped out of his state to stare at Sakata kneeling in front of him. 

Toshirou pushed himself harshly away from him. “Wh- how did you find me here?” He stuttered. 

Sakata looked at him worriedly. “I know you, idiot…” He sighed, pulling something out of his yukata. “Here. I knew you would need them as soon as I saw Okita-kun back there.” He grumbled out Sougo’s name.

Toshirou took what Sakata handed to him, seeing the familiar spicy crackers. He hasn’t seen these in 9, no, technically 15 years. 

“This…”

“They were her favorites, right?” Sakata said. 

Toshirou nodded, opening them and starting to eat the spicy crackers. The tears he had been holding finally fell down his cheeks, he sniffed, the spicy flavor filling his senses. “They’re spicy…” he mumbled, sniffing as he wiped his tears with his sleeve. 

Sakata nodded. “I know…” he said confortingly.

As he continued eating, he felt himself relax to the point he didn’t mind Sakata eating some of the crackers as well as he sat by his side. It somehow made him feel like he got someone supporting him through a tough time. However, the guilt inside his chest didn’t leave, but now he could think more clearly. Now he understood why he let himself marry someone else, if Mitsuba is already dead by this time then… maybe Future him had finally moved on.

Chapter Text

Gintoki walked silently next to Toshirou back to his hospital room watching carefully at his husband walking silently. Toshirou had gotten too quiet after finishing the bag of crackers on the roof. Face both thoughtful and extremely guilty. He avoided Gintoki’s eyes furtively. His eyes were red, but he had already stopped crying. However, his stance had not relaxed much. 

It was still better than how he had found him on the roof, in the middle of what looked like a panic attack. A look of desperation he hasn’t seen since Kondo was believed to be dead. 

He couldn’t help feeling a little bit worried about his mental state. In the past, Toshirou had time to process her death, he had already known she was dying by the time she actually did. The last year of her life had been quite harsh on her health, and while Toshirou hadn’t kept in contact, he regularly got updates from Kondo. But now… the news came like a punch in the gut and he was sure Sougo ment to cause as much pain as he could with his words so he can only imagine what he actually told him while Gintoki was away. 

A part of Gintoki was furious with the young sadist, but he has learned not to get in the middle of their disputes by now. He should have stuck around just to make sure nothing too surprising was told to Toshirou. Because even if his husband didn’t tell him, he could tell Toshirou has a massive headache right now, probably the result of finding out about her death in such a shocking way. 

Toshirou laid on his bed without a word as soon as they entered his hospital room. Looking at the flowers on the bedside table that Otae had sent a few days ago, face pulled in a neutral frown that did little to hide the grief he was feeling. Gintoki sat beside him, not wanting him to be alone right now, even if he was probably the last person Toshirou feels comfortable with right now. 

“Did you… meet her?” Toshirou asked without turning to look at him. 

“Yeah…” Gintoki said softly. “But not for long…” He waited for a reaction, but there was none. “She was nice.” He added.

Toshirou nodded. “She was…”

Gintoki sighed, leaning back into the chair, staring at the ceiling instead of his husband’s every breath. “I can see why you loved her.” He mumbled. 

This actually got a reaction from his husband, making him sit up on the bed, eyes wide staring down at him. “What?! You knew?!”

Gintoki raised an eyebrow. “Of course.” He said calmly. “I’m pretty sure everyone that actually knows you knows that. Even her.” He said. Because it had been crystal clear even when he knew so little of him. Toshirou stared shockedly at him for a while, until the shock made way for the guilt. Gintoki sighed. “You know she understood why you did it, right? And Sougo does too, even if he likes to be a jerk about it.”

Toshirou looked away, the guilt persisting in his gaze. “I know…” He sighed with a frown. “I just wish… that things were different.” Toshirou didn’t have to say anything for Gintoki to hear what he was thinking. 

Gintoki looked at the window again, the sun was starting to set, beginning to hide behind some buildings. “Y’know…” he mumbled, “we have shared those crackers before…” He said, unable to control himself.

Toshirou looked at him confused, an eyebrow raised. “Huh?”

“Back when she… died… we shared those crackers up on the roof too.” He said with a shrug.

Toshirou scrunched up his face. “Were we… already a thing?” He asked.

Gintoki shook his head, a small smile appearing on his lips at the thought. “Oh, no. We could barely stand each other back then.” He looked down at his hand, his silver ring staring back at him and he fidgeted with it with a fond smile. “We were always trying to kill each other back then.” He could feel Toshirou's confused stare so he turned to stare back at him too with a soft smile. “But I felt like… you needed the company… even if you pretended I was not there.” The only indication that he knew he was there with him that day was Toshirou briefly nodding at him as he finally decided to limp out of the roof, as if thanking him for the company.

“Oh…” Toshirou mumbled softly. He still looked confused as he stared at his own hands, but there was something else bothering him. 

“You still love her, right?” Gintoki asked, unable to stop himself from asking. He is pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear the answer he already knows.

“Huh?” Toshirou asked, eyes widening at the question.

“Your mind is from 6 years ago. From the time you were still in love with her, so… I’m guessing you still do.” Gintoki said.

Toshirou’s face turned even more guilty and a part of Gintoki knew he was crossing a line. He should be making sure his husband rests well, not causing any more anguish. 

“Sakata, I-”

“I understand.” Gintoki interrupted. “You don’t remember me. You don’t remember her death. All of this must be so hard for you.”

Toshirou frowned, but nodded with a sigh. “It is.” He admitted. “But I know I have been acting like an asshole to you this whole time and none of this is your fault.” 

“It’s fine. You’re always an asshole” Gintoki joked, trying to relieve some tension in the air. He smiled playfully at Toshirou and it actually managed to make him relax a bit.

“I- was sh- did she-” Toshirou stuttered.

“She was strong till the end.” Gintoki answered the unasked question. “Died by her brother’s side.”

Toshirou looked slightly surprised, probably not expecting Gintoki to know what he was going to ask. “And was I… was I an asshole to her?”

Gintoki sighed, knowing there was no way to sugar coat this one. “A little.” He admitted. “But not more than usual. After all, you did all that for the love you had for her.”

“Oh…” He saw Toshirou’s body visibly relax. There was still some guilt left in his eyes, but nothing worth worrying about. “Thanks…” He mumbled softly without looking at him. Gintoki just nodded, not knowing what else to say right now. “I- how- how long did it pass between her death and us becoming a thing?” He asked, his voice sounded nervous.

“Mmm…” Gintoki did the mental math. “If we take into account the time the anime was running it was about over 10 years, but since we follow the Sazae-san format it was just a little over 2 years. 

Toshirou raised an eyebrow. “And did we still hated each other during those years before we became a thing?” He asked.

Gintoki shook his head. “No, by the time I left Edo we were already kinda friends.” This answer seemed to confuse Toshirou even more. “I mean, we were more on friendly terms, but we still had this rivalry going on that made us fight almost every time we saw each other.” He huffed, amused by the memories. “But still…” he smiled softly. “We trusted each other to have our backs by then.” He remembered eating that bowl of Hijikata Special fondly as he promised Toshirou to protect Edo in his absence. “We had already been through so much together by then.”

“Did you…” Toshirou looked confused, as if trying to come up with a way to ask him something. “You said something about leaving…” he mumbled. “I- What does that mean?”

Gintoki sighed, not particularly liking to remember those days in which he felt so lonely, in which he couldn’t save Shouyou. “I left Edo for a while. For 2 years…” It seemed like Toshirou wanted to ask, but Gintoki wasn’t sure he wanted to dive into this topic right now, there’s already been too many strong emotions by now. “I had something important to do, so I left. Maybe I can tell you about it later.” He crossed his arms with a sigh. “Though, most of what happened during that time will probably end in history books so maybe you can read those.” He said thoughtfully. He did hear something about it from Seita once, who wanted to know more about the fight against Utsuro for homework. 

“Huh? Why?” Toshirou asked curiously.

Gintoki looked at him with a smirk. “Heh… didn’t you know you married the hero that saved Earth?” He asked jokingly.

Toshirou’s face scrunched up in confusion and slight shock. “Huh?”

Gintoki smirked. “You even said so yourself to my face, don’t think I’ll forget that.” He said arrogantly, remembering when Toshirou told him exactly that as he interrogated him in Hagi.

“What the hell happened?” Toshirou asked curiously.

“I can tell you more about it, but maybe we should let your mind rest for the day, you already had too much to think and the doctor said you should take it slow.” Gintoki said, standing up. “I’ll go for something to eat, you need something more in your stomach than spicy crackers.” He said, wondering if the food Shinpachi bought for Toshirou was still good after waiting this long. He wondered if the kids stayed where he left them or if they already went home, sensing that Toshirou needed some time.

As he was about to step out the door, he heard Toshirou talk in a low tone. “Thanks…” 

Gintoki glanced at him, he was staring at his hands, but he looked more relaxed than he had seen him since he woke up. “You’re welcome.” He said, finally leaving the room. He knows Toshirou didn’t mean it about the food he was going to get him, he knows there's a deeper meaning to his words. 

He knows Toshrou doesn’t fully trust him yet, but… the breach between them was closing. Gintoki could only hope things would get back to normal soon.

Toshirou waited for Sakata to come back with the food he promised, he wasn’t particularly hungry but he decided to indulge Sakata and accept the food. 

There’s been too many emotions in just half a day, or more like in just 2 days since his mind hasn’t been able to rest since he woke up from his week long coma. 

6 years have passed and many things changed in his life without him noticing, without him remembering. He wonders what Future him thinks of all of this. He had time to get used to all this, from Mitsuba's death, to a relationship with a man he barely knows… What else has happened since then? Sakata said something about saving Earth, what did that mean?

He had many questions. He both wanted to know more about his past, but was also afraid to find more. What if something else happened that he didn’t like? What if there was some other change in his normal life that he didn’t want?

Either way, he needed to know more about himself, to understand how he got here. 

He wonders what is all that stuff they went through together that Sakata mentioned. What was that made him fall for that man? Was it him saving Earth? Was it them sharing some spicy crackers on the roof?

Somehow, Toshirou could understand his future self a little more now. Him falling for Sakata seemed… less impossible now for some reason. 

Was it the way he accompanied him through a tough time? The way Toshirou could feel comfortable with him by side despite barely knowing him? He bared his feelings in front of him, but he didn’t feel any shame in that as he normally would. The only thing he felt as he cried for his past love was guilt. Guilt not only at the way things had gone with Mitsuba, but also guilt for the way things are going with Sakata. Because he is sure this must be hard for Sakata too. 

How does Sakata feel to see his husband cry over another woman? Toshirou is probably being a real asshole right now, but Sakata has been really considerate despite the circumstances. He didn’t feel judged by him and that made him somehow trust the man a little more. He felt understood in a way he only felt with another person before. A person that is now dead. 

Maybe Sakata wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe if they really went through so much together then Toshirou could see himself falling for him.

Why does it feel so easy to trust him? He barely knows him and he already feels more comfortable with him than with most people he knows. He is not quite at the point where he is completely relaxed around him, but he feels better in his presence than he did a few hours ago. A fast development that had only happened once before. 

He needs to know more about Sakata, about them. He wants to know more about their shared history. He needs to understand how he let himself fall for someone when he had promised himself he never would. He needs to know what he did to get someone like Sakata to care so much about him.