Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Practice was over. Kirino was about to finish packing everything in his bag. He looked at the captain band in his hands - the one thing he thought he would never receive. It had been years that every team he was part of also counted Shindou as a member. It had been years that Shindou outshined him. He could have never been captain of a Team while Shindou was there - because Shindou was just better than him at everything that a captain needed. Confidence, leadership, charisma, or just straight up talent with a ball.

Except this time, Takuto was not here anymore. He had always been so far ahead, and Kirino knew he could never catch on. It hit him the hardest when his friend returned from the Sengoku era, having gained a Miximax and the ability to arm his Keshin, while Kirino did not even have the ability to summon a Keshin at the time. Granted, he closed that gap later on, and they were teammates again in Chrono Storm, the strongest eleven of all times. Still, they walked side by side; Kirino never was the one ahead.
And this time, Takuto was too far ahead again.
When the gamemaker's name was announced to be part of Inazuma Japan, the defender felt so happy for his friend. However, this happiness did not last long, as he himself was not picked, despite what he thought. He swore to himself that he would support his friend through it all.
After all, it was only the defender's fault he was not picked. He was just not good enough.
Now, he could only wait to see how great of football players were the eight unknown chosen instead of him.

They were terrible. They sucked. They did not deserve it.
Never had Kirino felt so much rage.
Yet, he knew that Takuto was even more broken than he was. He saw him cry during the exhibition match. He spent the entire night at his house just after, and they cuddled together to forget the excruciating pain both of them were feeling. The frustration. The humiliation.

Now, it was even worse. They were not Inazuma Japan anymore. They were Earth Eleven. Takuto was further than he ever was, to a place were he could not even be reached anymore. "Take care of Raimon", he said. "I'll fight for you", he said. Well, he was not here anymore. The only thing that stayed was the crippling emptiness. His last words, echoing through the pink-haired mind, as both a blessing and a curse.

At least before, they could still see each other. Kirino would come to every single match. He would talk to Takuto, he would reassure him before the matches. They would exchange cute little text messages as they always had. They would keep each other informed of their daily lives. Kirino would come to see his friend twice a week at Odaiba, to bring him homework - though it really was an excuse so they could spend time together. They would go get ice cream at the Aqua Mall. They would train together on the training field. Once, they even took a ride at the Ferris Wheel. Together.

Now, all of that was gone. Complete silence. Unable to communicate, to send each other cute messages. The only way Kirino could still see his best friend was through mementos. He would look with nostalgia at the selfies they took together. He would listen to the recordings of Takuto playing on his piano, and remember how he felt, laying on the couch, eyes closed, enveloped in the melody of his best friend's soul.
Memories of what is gone hurt the most.

"I miss you," the pink-haired muttered to himself.

Kirino shoved the captain band into his sportsbag. The captain band that should not be his. No, it never was. It was only temporary. When Tenma entrusted it to him, he did so with such a bright smile, filled with trust. Takuto, standing right next to him, agreed with a nod. When the two of them talked about it later, the ex Raimon-captain always stood firm on his decision. "I know it was the right one. I know you can do it. I believe in you, Ranmaru. There is no one in whom I believe in more than in you."

Kirino remembered Tenma's words, as he fitted the band onto the defender's left arm. They still echoed in his mind. They were the same ones that Takuto once used to describe the first year...

"You are the best fitted to bear it in my absence. I know you will be an extraordinary captain."

##########

The smell of the hospital room was making him sick. He did not know what this feeling was - rage, frustration, sadness, anxiety, despair? The pink-haired fists were clenched on his knees. His voice, broken and shaken. His eyes, on the verge of crying.
"That's not fair."
The bedridden boy was watching him. His brown-redish eyes were filled with a tender care, yet an unspeakable disappointment. His wavy grey hair was loose, as always, grazing his shoulders. That too is unfair, how even in an hospital bed, wearing the blue hospital clothing, he still looks so pretty.
Takuto let a small smile slip for his best friend, wishing to ease his pain.
"It can't be helped."

He hoped that his best friend would accept it too. He thought that by hiding his own frustration inside, he would oblige. He thought that his friend's pain would lessen if he forced himself to diminish his own.
It did not work. At his words, Kirino just felt even angrier.

"How can you be so calm about it? Of course I freaking know I can't change anything. It's so frustrating! After everything you've done, you are stolen the most important moment."
Kirino's voice was overflowing with frustration. He was not the one going through all of that, but it was as if. After all, he considered Takuto his soulmate. The midfielder could not hide what he felt, not from his eyes. He perfectly knew how much he was suffering, he perfectly knew he was not showing it because he wanted to protect others from sharing his pain.
No. That was not all. He was scared, because Takuto always had been his crutch. If he fell, Takuto would pick him up. No matter what happened, he was confident in victory because Takuto was there. But this time... he would not.
"Knowing I'll have to play this final... to push our revolution to the end without you by my side. I'm scared. I don't know if I can do it."
Those were words of anxiety, words of sadness.
"I... No, I can't accept it. It's not... It's unfair!"
The last words came as a shout, and the defender felt something wet on his fists. He was crying tears of rage. He hadn't noticed.
How pitiful he was. The one who should be crying was his best friend, stuck in an hospital with his broken leg. Yet, he did not. Takuto cried so easily usually, so why didn't he now?

"Just let it all out. You can do it with me. I won't judge you. You can always tell me everything", Kirino thought. "So please, don't pretend to be strong in front of me. You don't need too."

Yet, Takuto's gaze was fixated on his, brown-redish eyes, more determined that ever.
"You'll have to do it for me. I'm sorry for burdening you so."
His voice was ever so calm, like a tender caress. His right hand had reached out of the bed to grab Kirino's hand. The delicate pianist fingers, softly unclenching the defender's fist. He wanted to reassure him. To make him feel, he was still there, would always be. That his best friend would never be alone. That he was sorry to leave him all alone on the field for the most important match of his life.

"I intend to name Matsukaze captain", he continued, his voice firm. "He is the one who sparked the passion inside of me, this one I had once shared with you but had forgotten under the pressure of Fifth Sector. He is the one who can lit the flames for you all to see it through. All of this, makes him the best fitted to bear the band in my absence. I know he will be an extraordinary leader for you all. Thus, you need not worry. You can do it without me, and you will."
The pink-haired risked a smile, but it was not very convincing. He knew his friend was right. He knew Matsukaze had what it takes to be captain. Yet... Matsukaze is not Shindou. Matsukaze is not Takuto. He could never feel as comfortable with the first year.

Takuto perfectly knew that. But he also needed to entrust his friend with one final task.
"Ranmaru", gently said the gamemaker, "I'll need you to help him. I know you can. Please believe in yourself as I do believe in you."
At those words, Kirino's gaze escaped Takuto's to fixate the floor. He felt all his uncertainty, his low self-esteem, resurfacing all at once.
"Your trust is misplaced, Takuto", the defender replied. "I'm nothing exceptional like you. And," - the defender resumed the eye-contact - "without you by my side... I feel nothing more than an empty shell."
The gamemaker tried to close in as much as he could, despite his broken leg. Now, both his hands were holding Kirino's left.
"You don't know how happy it makes me to know that I'm so important to you", Takuto began, his voice still loving and caring. "However, do not diminish yourself like this. You don't need me to shine. Perhaps you are not shining as bright as Matsukaze or I are in your eyes, but never forget. If I shine so bright, it's only for you. Matsukaze may have awaken the passion that slept deep inside me, but you were the one to spark the fire first."

His eyes were shining with affection and trust. Kirino felt overwhelmed by emotion; to see his best friend confide in him like that, to see how important he was to him.
Takuto was not finished.

"Every time I fell, you were there. When I was going through my worst doubts, you were there. You supported me even when we disagreed. You followed me through my crazy revolution. You are the central player of our defense. You know how to put aside your own feelings for the greater good of the team, as you did with Kariya. Without you, we would not have made it pass Gassan Kunimitsu. Ranmaru, you are as important in this team as I am. The offense is not worth anything if the defense does not follow suit."

The defender was completely overwhelmed by the flow of compliments. Was that really all that Takuto thought about him? He was so not worth it. How could his friend see so much in him when himself was unable to do so?
He bursted into tears, into the bedridden's boy embrace, ever so grateful that he was able to be by his side.

"We'll play together again, I promise," the grey haired whispered. "I'll put every effort in my recovery so we can stand side by side on a field anew."

Chapter Text

It's been seven days. Seven days, and the emptiness is still ever growing.
Everything seems too big, too hollow. Never have the Raimon halls seemed so overwhelmingly large, the school anxiously big, the walk home terrifiyingly long. Never have the frontseat in class seemed so out of place.
A boy should be standing there. His hair, wavy, gently curving on his bearer's shoulders. His voice, as gentle as summer's warm breeze. His eyes, a calm and soothing brown, yet a fierce and passionate red, windows to an unlimited world of football and music. His smile, bright as a summer sky. His touch, delicate and careful, never overstepping, always comforting, exactly in the right place.
Now, there is nothing, but empty space, both in the classroom and in Kirino's heart.

Practice is over. It gets harder and harder every day. He has to hold on - he is their leader now, after all. He always knew what Takuto was going through when he was appointed as captain, and was forced to shoulder the team's responsabilities. He saw how sometimes, he was doubting, he was broken, but he had to conceal it and endure it all, especially at the beginning of their second year, when he was wavering between his desire to play real football, impulsed by Tenma's passion, and his fear of retaliation by the Fifth Sector. His friend always was somebody to shoulder much more than what he could carry, his everlasting sense of duty taking precedence for everything.
Now, perhaps that Kirino began to understand a bit how it felt. He is not fine, he knows it - but he has to pretend, he has to hold on, because the team needs him.

Yet, everybody knows. They all see the captain get worse with each passing day. Those blue eyes that once shone like the sea, are now only a muddy river. His eyebags, devastating testimony of his restless nights.
Kirino keeps pushing. He promised he would not give up, and he does not want to disappoint neither Tenma nor Takuto. However, first and foremost, he does not want to lose the last bit of hope he has. Playing on the field, seeing his beloved teammates, is the only way he can inject a bit of light into the endless void of his heart. He can still smile and laugh when by their side, albeit faintly. He went to the cinema with Kariya two days ago - granted, the movie was not great, but he spent a good time nevertheless. The second year saw all the effort his junior was putting into brightening his mood, and he appreciated it.

Nonetheless, the defender wished that he could forget. Everything reminded him of the missing musician, that should be here but is not. If only every object, every hallway, every pass, every block, every shot, did not yell "Takuto is gone". Kirino was so used to his presence everywhere, every place was filled to the brim with memories he had with his best friend.
"You're too emotionally dependant on Shindou", Kariya once said. Perhaps he was right.
The only thought that keeps coming back to the pink-haired is his fear of never seeing his soulmate again.

Kirino arrives in front of the school gates, and as he is about to cross them to head back home, he remembers. He remembers every time he crossed them, with Takuto by his side. Those daunting, giant gates, did not seem that frightening by then. Now, they do. Inside of those doors was his world, the world of Raimon. The world of the football team. The world of their shared dreams. Now, it is a world of darkness, a world where everything reminds him of what should be there and is missing.
It was roughly a year and half since he first walked in those imposing gates. He was not alone, then.
Now, as he exits through them everyday, he is lonelier than ever.

##########

So, this was it. This is what they had signed up for.
Of course, it was not the first time they had seen those massive doors. They had seen it on TV, they had seen it while walking by; yet, now that they were about to cross them for the first time, they were more daunting than ever.

Kirino had spent the night at Shindou's; the two friends were so nervous about their first day at Raimon that they agreed to take every step of the way together, quite literally. They woke up way earlier than they should have, anxious about any possible lateness; they took an astonishing amount of time to prepare, making sure their uniforms were properly worn, that their hair was all in place. Kirino did his ponytails four times to make sure they were perfect. They did not wanted to make a bad impression on their first day. After all, their dream was finally within grasp.

From the days of Kirino's early childhood, cheering for Inazuma Japan and admiring with awe Kazemaru's impecable defense. From the moment Shindou's parents decided for him that he would go there, to uphold the family name using the school's prestige. From the moment the gamemaker decided he wanted to go there for himself, because football had brought him so much joy, and he could not imagine it being any other way.
Now, it was all within a few meters - a few meters, and they'd be inside the school of their dreams.

Yet, here they were, stuck, unable to move, paralyzed by the mix of excitment and anguish.

Shindou's hand reached for Kirino's. He needed to feel that he wasn't alone in this - that he had somebody to rely on to face the illusory challenge that those few steps represented. The defender knew, because he felt all the same, and at the touch, he firmly intertwinned his fingers with the midfielder's.
"This is it", the latter said. "Raimon. Soon... we'll enter the sanctuary of football."
More dramatic than he ever had been. He, most definitely, felt awfully anxious.
"We can do it. It's just a few steps." answered the defender, as if to assert himself, when he himself was stunned. "Let's go, Shindou."

The forward stayed still, and turned his eyes to his best friend, standing by his side, whose gaze was now firmly set in front of him. Kirino felt his hand shaking, and turned to see his awfully embarassed expression.
"Well, actually... I...", the wavy-haired boy mumbled, "I wanted to know... huh..."
"Shindou, are you okay? Do tell", Kirino answered, worry filling his voice.
"It's... well, it's a bit childish and stupid. Forget it.", he concluded, diverting his gaze to look at the ground. Shindou's reply did not satisfy his friend at all.
"No, please, do tell. You know you can tell me everything, Shindou", the pink-haired pressed on. His friend swallowed, and raised his head again; while blue eyes met red, Kirino could not help but notice his friend's cheeks had turned almost the same color as his beautiful eyes.
"Would you call me Takuto, please ?" he spitted all at once, as if embarassed by the mere suggestion.

The defender could not contain his surprise and bursted into laughter, which only made Shindou redder.
"I'm so sorry", Kirino managed to say between two hiccups, "but you are telling me that the whole thing that made you so anxious was to ask me to be on first-name basis?"
"Yes", the rich boy answered, embarassed, releasing his hand from his comrade's, before diverting his gaze again, to the opposite side this time. "I knew it was a bad idea. It was ridiculous, isn't it?"

Of course it was. How could he, a boy from so high social status, ask somebody else, so below him, to go on first-name basis? His parents would never approve of this.
Kirino knew, though. Shindou did not see him as somebody below him. Shindou saw him as an equal, as a partner. He need not be embarassed because they came from so different backgrounds.

The pink-haired reached out for his friend's wrist again and exerted a slight pressure, to tell him to turn around and face him. He did not think himself very good at wording his feelings, but he wanted to convey how he felt about Shindou... no, Takuto, the best he could.
"Not at all", he answered the boy with his best reassuring smile. "I'm glad you asked me. I can't put into words how happy I actually am, to see you acknowledge me as somebody so important in your life, Takuto."
The forward seem even more embarassed to hear his first name said out loud like this. It was what he asked for, but to think about it, and hear it, are two very different things.
"I... uh... thanks, I guess?" he hardly mumbled.
He was so embarassed. It was both funny and adorable. Kirino truly felt blessed to have met him, to have a friend like him.

"Oh, and then", the defender resumed, "you can call me Ranmaru as well. I mean, it would be unfair otherwise, isn't it?" he ended with a wink.
"Uh, yes? I guess? Thank you, Kir... I mean, Ranmaru."
Actually, all this mundane scene had managed to ease the tense the two were feeling, even thought Takuto was now the reddest Ranmaru had ever seen him. Their hands joined again, and their gaze returned to the massive building in front of them.
The musician took a long, deep breath.
"Shall we go?"
"With pleasure, Takuto."
And thus, together, hand in hand, they entered for the first time Raimon Junior High, the place they had dreamt of being part of for so many years.

Chapter Text

He did not think. Yet here, he was, in front of the most massive house in all of Inazuma Town.
It was mechanical. His feet drove him here, as he was too lost in thoughts to mind. This place that was his second home, his second family.
Perhaps he'd be there? Perhaps it was just a bad dream, a bad fever. Of course, he would not be in space. Aliens? That's ridiculous. He was just there, waiting in his room, ill and bedridden, not able to attend school for weeks. He was just waiting for his best friend to come, to deliver him the homework. Then, they would drink tea, eat biscuits, and Kirino would sit on the couch, petting Aria's delicate white fur, while Takuto would let his fingers wander the piano.

The defender rings at the door. A butler comes and invites him in. All of the staff knows him already; he comes so often after all. He does not need help to find his way to Takuto's room, despite the manor hugeness. He knocks at the massive door, and opens it, hoping to find a wavy-haired boy by the piano.

However, there is no one. His best friend is not in his room.
Perhaps it was not a dream, after all.

At this thought, Kirino just collapses. His legs abandon him, and he finds himself huddled, crying. His tears won't stop coming. He's sobbing, shouting, all of his misery suddenly crashing onto him. Water keeps flowing on his cheeks. His hair is a mess, and his eyes have become so colourless. The folds on his skin are evidence that its not the first time he's crying.
How absurd it was for him to think that that was all a dream. Is he that miserable to the point he prefers to dwell inside his own delusions?
Why did he came here in the first place? What is he doing?
Who is he? Why is he in this room where he does not belong without its rightful owner?
When did he became like that, so empty, so broken?
Why is Takuto not here to help him out?
Why has he abandoned him?

The defender stays there, trapped inside his own head, crying in the musician's room, for who knows how long. The only thing that wakes him up from his stupor eventually is a little black ball of fur rubbing itself against his leg.
He gazes at the tiny cat, wondering how it feels, being away from its owner for so long.
"You miss him too, don't you, Lute?"
Kirino is shocked by his own voice. Long gone is the softness and warmness; only stays a rough, desperate cry. The kitten seems almost scared of the husk before him, despite knowing him so well.
"You wonder where the kind pink-haired human who loved to pet you is, don't you? Me too, I wonder."
Lute does not budge, and the defender grabs him, squeezing the animal against its chest.
"Tell me, Lute. Tell me what to do."

Kirino realizes how weak he is. He thought he could do anything, but truly, without Takuto, he's nothing. Kariya was right. He is dependant on him. He hates himself so much for being only a burden, unable to do anything on his own. He wishes for the pain to stop, but the thoughts won't.
The tears resume, even more powerful than before. Kirino compresses Lute harder and harder without realizing it, heavily sobbing, and he is so lost inside his own sorrow that he does not hear the meows of discomfort the cat let out. When it becomes unsustainable, the four-legged creature has no other choice but to forcefully break his way out; a quick slash leave the defender's hand flowing with blood.

Kirino's waken up by the sudden spike of pain, and instantenously releases his grip onto Lute. Yet, his legs won't move. He barely contemplates his hand, marked by the trails of the claws, pouring with a red liquid. This physical pain is nothing compared to the despair inside his soul.
"He told me to take care of you, but even that, I can't." he admits, powerless. He really feels worthless at this very moment.
"How could I take care of you when I can't even take care of myself?" the pink-haired shouts, angry at himself. "How CAN I?"
There's so much inside his head, he can't even sort it anymore. Is that pain? Despair? Resentment? Guilt? Anger? He does not know. He just knows that it's overwhelming, he just knows that the pain is killing him, he just knows that it is Takuto's departure that made him like that.

Kirino burries his head into his knees once more. He told him he'd be strong, but he's already collapsing. It's been two weeks, and he begs his friend to come back. He does not know how long he can hold on like this.
He'll never let him go again. He'll never let himself be left behind again. He does not know how, but he will figure it out. He never wants to feel this creeping feeling of abandonment ever again.

Kirino's breath eventually steadies. He does not know how much time has passed, but it's already dusk outside. He has to go home. He glances at the room one last time. The piano takes up most of the space; this beautiful instrument where his friend would let him travel through the melodies his fingers could create. He leans towards it, his eyes inspecting the score still opened, and the beautiful ivory keys.

"The instrument misses its owner, too.", he thinks.

The score is opened on Für Elise. Why the hell would Takuto be working on something so simple? It has been long since he moved on to more complex pieces.

Oh right. Kirino remembers. It was the last piece his soulmate played him the night before his departure.
He played it because it was the first piece he ever played to Kirino.
Because it was the first melody that ever let Kirino into his beautiful, musical world.

##########

"M-mom... are you sure... we're at the right place?"
The pink-haired kid could not believe his eyes. Before him was standing a living castle, just as the ones in the fairy tales. The gates were of the finest metal. Graciously sculpted fountains were adorning the alleyway. Every flower, every tree seemed to have been perfectly picked, perfectly taken care of, to create a mystifying scenery.

That could not be it. That was the place his friend Shindou had invited him. His... home.

His friend Shindou, he was a normal boy like him, right? Well, granted, he was weird sometimes, like when he asked why Kirino's mother was coming to pick him up instead of sending their showfare? The pink-haired boy did not even know what a showfare was.
Yet... never could have the defender imagined something like this. That his friend was a prince out of a fairy tale, living in an immaculate castle. While he, he, Ranmaru, was just the ordinary son of two ordinary office employees.

The boy asked his mother again if they were at the right place, still unable to believe what was happening. She nodded. So it was true after all.
Ranmaru always found his mother, Hana, extremely beautiful. He inherited her sapphire eyes, even though she did have raven hair herself. The kid knew how much his mother loved him, that he was the most precious thing in her world, and he was so happy about it. Having her by his side right now, he felt a little less tense, even if anxiety overwhelmed him. There was, in the corner of his head, this little voice that would keep asking:
"Do you really think you're worthy of somebody living in such a place?"

His mother, as if she knew exactly what was going onto her son's head, rubbed her thumb against his delicate, tiny fingers, in a gesture full of affection, to help him calm down.
"It's going to be okay, my little flower," she asserted with her caring and loving voice.
However, Ranmaru was very shy, and he was definitely overloaded by anxiety at this very moment.
"T-This... This is... Shindou's house?"
His voice was broken, and he was about to cry.
"But I... Mom... I'm not... I'll never be good enough. I can't be friends with somebody like this!"
He had said it. What the voice in his head was repeating. Tears began to form in his eyes, and he rubbed them with his free hand.
"Mom, I-I can't. I-I want to go home." He pleaded, almost unable to properly form the words.
"My little flower," his mother answered, her voice ever so gentle, her eyes filled with the infinite love she beared for her son, "you love your friend Shindou, isn't it?"
"Y-yes... b-but he's... and I'm..." he sobbed. He knew what she meant, yet, he was not brave enough.
"Then, it's going to be okay. I'm sure he loves you a lot too, since he invited you over. And he would be very disappointed if you did not show up, don't you think?"

Ranmaru stayed quiet for a bit. He knew she was right, but still... no. He wanted to be brave, too. Because he really liked spending time with Shindou.
"I-I'll do it. Because I... I want to see him too."
His mother smiled in his direction, and began to walk in direction of the entrance, gently guiding her scion along the way. When she arrived at the level of the gates, she stopped, and rang to the intercom located on nearby pillar.
"Who is it?" a voice asked through the microphone.
"My name is Kirino Hana. My son, Kirino Ranmaru, was invited by his friend Shindou Takuto."
"Oh, you are the young master's friend? Please, enter."

The beautiful forged gates began to slide and open, unlocking the way to a beautiful, pristine path towards the impecable garden and towards the massive house. No going back, then. Kirino and his mother began to move towards the mansion, following the path. They saw the entrance door open, and a man in an impecable black suit appeared right next to it, seemingly waiting for them. However, a few seconds after, the door blasted open again, and a tiny boy with short wavy hair bursted out of it, running in their direction.
"Kirinooooo!" yelled Shindou, visibly overexcited, as he approached his friend and his mother. Ranmaru fell a renewed spike of anxiety, not really knowing how to react. The rich boy eventually reached them, a wide smile on his face.
"I'm so happy that you're here! I've wanted to invite you over forever! I have so many things to show you! I asked the chef to prepare the best pastries ever. Oh, and I want you to hear me play the piano too! I promise we're gonna have the best day ever!"

The pink-haired wondered where his friend found the energy to speak that much in so little time. He himself was completely paralyzed, unable to talk since he was so stressed out. His mother seemed to notice, as she introduced herself.
"Hello, Shindou-kun. I am Kirino Hana, and I am Ranmaru's mother. It's a pleasure to meet you. Ran told me so much about you."
The overenergetic brunet suddenly seemed very embarassed.
"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am," he said while bowing. "I forgot my manners. My name is Shindou Takuto, and I am glad to meet you too!"
A woman dressed in a white and black dress arrived just at this moment, panting. She seemed upset.
"Young master, this is not a behaviour worthy of your rank!", she reproached, which made the young one sulk. "My apologies, Milady, for the young master's rude conduct."
Hana chuckled.
"Don't worry, it's okay. He is still a child, after all. And, to be honest, I'm glad to see his enthusiasm about spending time with my Ranmaru."

Said Ranmaru still hadn't said a word, still overwhelmed by the whole situation.
"H-hi, Shindou", he barely managed to voice.
"Come on, my little flower, it's going to be okay," Hana reassured him with her gentle voice again. "My apologies. Ranmaru is a bit shy, and he's not used to go over at somebody's else house," she explained to the woman and to Shindou.
"No problem!" the grey-haired boy immediately answered. "I'm just so happy that you're here. Come on, it's gonna be great! Let's go to my room."
Kirino gazed at his mother, waiting for her to say something.
"I'm gonna go, my little flower. I'll come pick you up at 8. Have a great afternoon, okay?" she finished as she landed a kiss of her son's forehead, before releasing his hand and leaving the mansion.

The defender did not have the luxury of having his hand freed for long, because Shindou immediately grabbed it again and began to drag him through the alleyway, in direction of the house, under "Young master!" shouts of disapproval. He was running, while firmly holding onto Kirino's wrist, impatient he was to show him around. Even though the defender knew it was genuine affection, the anxiety from before had yet to settle down, as he kept wondering "why me" when the boy clearly had everything he wanted - and more than he himself could ever offer.

Shindou bursted into the house, and devoured a somptuous volley of marble marchs, leading his pink-haired friend through the pristine halls and corridors. The defender could not help but notice how impecable the floor was, the lavish tapestries and protraits laying around, the somptuous paintings and detailed marble sculptures, the refined crystal chandeliers. He really was getting kidnapped by a prince charming inside his castle. The sapphire-eyed wondered how his friend did to live in a place so big. He was sure he'd get lost several times a day if he was in the wavy-haired stead.

Finally, Shindou pushed a massive door, orned with golden linings, and they entered an immense room. Kirino had never seen a room this huge. He barely had the time to begin assessing his surroundings, that the boy next to him released his tight on his wrist, turned around, and declared, raising both arms to the sky and deploying a smirky proud look on his face:
"Tadaaaa! Welcome to my bedroom!"

Wait. What? A bedroom? He could fit his entire flat into this! The living-room, the kitchen, the bathroom, his parents' room, and his own room. A new wave of panic crashed into him, and he wanted to flee right now. He felt so ashamed, so... out of place.
"I hope you like it!" resumed Shindou, who sounded like a proud kid trying to impress their parents. "I know it isn't much, but it's mine." He blushed while finishing his sentence.

It isn't much? What the heck? Was Shindou even realizing what he was saying?
Kirino really could not contain it anymore. He began shivering, and he just wanted to run away.
"I'm... I should not be here. I'm sorry," the pink-haired said, which seemed to sadden a lot the rich boy who was now looking at him with hurt eyes.
"What do you mean? My bedroom... is it not to your taste? Or is it me? Is it that you find me too childish because I'm happy to show around?"
He was really not getting it. The defender did not know what to say. His brunet friend seemed so genuine, and it was exactly why Kirino did not fit in.
"Shindou. Do you even realize?", he began, "How luxurious your room and your whole house is? It's not tiny, it's just, gigantic! Your room is like, twice as big as my entire house!"
The pink-haired did not like the way it went out. It sounded hurtful, it sounded angry, it sounded disappointed. He did not want to be mean to Shindou. The problem was him, Ranmaru, who was so plain. So... ordinary. So... not rich.

And the wavy-haired seemed, indeed, if not confused, hurt.
"I-I... I'm sorry. I did not mean to..." he began, mumbling. "I had no idea. I just thought... it's just... all the kids I've ever like, talked to, that was at parties, and they were just like me, so I... I assumed everybody's the same... I should have known better."
He seemed so sincere through his confused words, and his eyes were full of both remorse and affection. Kirino could not help but falter before such an expressive face. Before the feelings of the friend he liked so much.
"That's... okay. I... Sorry if it came out agressive."
"No no no! Don't excuse yourself! It was my fault, Kirino!"
"You don't need to apologize. Somebody like you should not apologize to somebody like me."

It came out without thinking, and Kirino was now crying. Even if it was his own words, they hurt so much, and now he realized why.
He was scared.
Shindou was his best friend, and he was scared of being separated from him. He was scared that Shindou, or his parents, would deem him unworthy of being his friend, and chase him away.
He wanted to keep playing football with the boy, he wanted to keep smiling at him during classes, hang out during breaks, and laugh like idiots when they messed up a pass or fell into the ground while practicing.

"Kirino, you don't want to be friends with me anymore?"
The voice snapped the defender out of his thoughts. It was broken, and he raised his blue eyes to meet the brown-redish ones of his friend. He noticed that they were wet, as if he was on the verge of crying.
"O-of course I want to!" he immediately answered, hoping to comfort his precious friend. "But I... I don't know if I'm worthy of it..."
Shindou almost seemed offended by the comment, and immediately jumped towards him, grabbing both his hands with his owns in front of him.
"Don't you dare say that! You're worthy every bit to be my friend! I like spending time with you, and I like playing football with you, and if I had not met you I might even not have known how fun football can be!" he voiced quickly, with an affirmative tone. "Honestly, if there's any of us two not worthy of being the other's friend, it's me. You've done so much for me, but me, I never did anything for you. So, I wanted to show you around, I wanted to give you the best pastries our chef does, I wanted you to have the best afternoon ever, because I..." he stopped. He seemed vulnerable, like he was about to say something very important, intimate even. "I... I just don't know how to make friends, and I'm scared that they'll leave me when I'm no use to them anymore...".

Shindou was frowning, as if he was reminiscing some kind of pain.
"Did it happen?" Kirino gently asked.
"Yeah..." and tears began to form in the forward's eyes. "She said we were besties, but then, one day, she said that I was not good enough, that I had no value, because I was not bringing her anything, and that since I was useless to her, she did not need me as a friend..."
It was raw. It was wild. Kirino's heart hurted, hearing how broken his friend's voice was while recollecting the memory.
"Well, she was a jerk!" the defender immediately answered, without thinking, because he was convinced by his own words. "You don't become friends with people because of what they can bring you! You become friends with people because you like them!"
It sounded so cheesy, but Kirino really meant it. He spoke without thinking twice, because his words came from his heart.
The rich kid seemed really moved, because he immediately pulled his friend into a tight hug while he began to cry.
"Thank you, Kirino! I... I never thought... I'm so blessed to have you. I'm so sorry, I just wish I could give you as much as you give me."
"Didn't you listen to what I just said? And you make me happy. That's more than enough for me."
The defender reciprocated the hug, letting the forward sob in his shoulders.
"Thanks, Kirino."

They stayed like that for a few moments, before Shindou released his hold.
"Anyways, hum..." he began, "what would you like to drink? We have tons of different teas, but I could also ask for a fruit juice if you want. I'll call the maids, and they'll bring it to us, alongside the pastries that the chef prepared just for us."
Kirino did not know how to respond. He had not given much thought about it. However, he was happy to see his friend's enthusiasm returned after seeing him so vulnerable a few moments before.
"Uhm... an apple juice is fine I guess?" he hesitantly answered.
"Great! I'll go ask the housestaff to deliver it," Shindou said while walking in the direction of a little tinbell suspended right next to the door. "Oh, also, I did not know what you really liked, so the pastries are an assortment. I'm sorry if there is nothing you like... just tell me for next time and I'll make sure you can eat the best!"

After all those confessions, Kirino was recomposing himself. He began to scan the room to assess where he was. There was a couch beside a beautiful wooden table in one corner. An enormous black thing - some sort of fancy table? - was sitting in the middle of the room, taking most of the place. Finally, a kind sized bed was in another corner, with perfectly folded blue cardigan sheets, and on top of it, was a small round white figure...
"A cat!" Kirino screamed, out of excitation.
"Oh, yeah, she's my precious baby! Her name is Aria. You can pet her if you want to," Shindou stated, having returned to Kirino's side. The room owner closed in to the feline, sitted on his bed, and began petting the cat's head, who began purring of pleasure.

The pink-haired approached timidly. He loved animals, and wished he could have some, but knew that they could not afford it. He assessed the cat from head to toe with his eyes, still unsure on how to pet her. His wavy-haired friend extended a smile, and gently showed a spot with his free hand, inviting the defender to join him on taking care of the feline. Soon enough, Kirino risked it, and began petting the little creature gently. Her fur was soft and delicate to the touch. Unsure at first, the pink-haired gained more assurance, while his friend's red gaze pondered the scene.
"I'm glad you like her", the latter said. "I don't know how I would have done if my best friend did not get along with my precious baby kitten."
Kirino could not help but blush. Once again, it was such a genuine display of affection, one he felt himself unworthy of. Yet, it was Shindou, it was his friend - this friend he valued so much, and with whom he know felt closer than ever, being invited to his house; yet more apart as he ever was, now that he discovered their difference of social status.

Time went by. Maids - Kirino learnt that was how those ladies were called, and that they were employed by Shindou's family - brought in pastries and the apple juice he had ordered. The defender was at first a bit confused on how to use all the different silver forks to taste the cakes, on top of being scared of damaging the refined china on which they were displayed. The boy discovered savors he had never experienced, and it definitely was the most expensive and delicious food he had ever eaten. He still felt pretty undeserving of all of this; yet, seeing the bright smile of Shindou while he was talking about his yearly family trip to his cousins' in France made up for it.

Yet, there was one question that still echoed in Kirino's mind, and that he finally dared to ask once their tasting was done.
"What is this big black table in your room?"
Kirino pointed at the giant object that was taking up most of the space at the center of the room.
"Oh," Shindou reacted, "it's my piano. You don't know what it is?"
"N-no", the defender answered, suddenly intimidated, as if he just asked something really stupid.
"Sorry! I did not mean that as offensive. All the kids I know have some kind of instrument, but you taught me today not everybody is like them, so perhaps it's normal you don't know."
The pink-haired appreciated the efforts his friend was displaying to get down to his level.
"So," he resumed as he approached the piano, "it's a music instrument. When you play it, it makes music! And you can do very beautiful things with it. My parents gifted me this one when I began taking lessons at 2."
The young boy delicately lifted some part of the piano, that revealed beautiful white parts.
"Those are the keys," he continued his explaining, "and when you press them, it makes a sound." - he demonstrated.
Now, the pink-haired eyes were filled with a mix of curiosity and wonder.
"Then, if you press them in the correct order and with the correct rythm, it can create music." The wavy-haired sitted in front of the piano, and his fingers began wandering the keys. Then, a melody filled the room. It was simple, but heartwarming. At this very moment, Kirino felt as if his friend was speaking to him through this instrument, every sound being an echo of his soul.

"This piece's name is Für Elise. It's quite simple - it's something taught to beginners. I hope you liked it."
"Yes!" yelled the pink-haired with enthusiasm. "It was incredible! It was as if... as if you were talking to me through the sounds. I..."
Kirino stopped, not knowing how to convey his feelings.
"It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard", he finally said, barely hiding his blushing.
Shindou's eyes were lit with a passionate fire.
"I'm so happy you like it! Music is so important to me. When I feel down... I just play. I let my feelings through the notes. It helps me ground myself."
Then, the wavy-haired stood up, and closed in on Kirino, who was still sitted on the couch, before the now emptied plates of pastries.
"Kirino, would you do me a favor?" he asked with pleading eyes.
"Y-yes?" ansnwered his friend, half scared, half confused.
"I would like you to be the first person to ever listen to any piece I learn from now on," he gently requested.
"B-but... I don't know anything about music!" Kirino protested.
"Perhaps, but I can teach you. And besides..." the silence Shindou letted in at this moment felt so heavy. "You're my best friend. You are the only one I can trust on this. And... I want you to be the first one to hear my feelings when I put them into a new melody."
The rich boy had grabbed his friend's hands with his owns, and his eyes were reminiscent of a puppy's. The defender knew he could not resist - and deep inside, he felt honoured by such a request.
"Then I'll try my best, Shindou!"
Their two faces were lightened by two bright smiles, as they joined their foreheads together, bathing in the joy of a children promise.

Chapter Text

How long has it been?

Kirino looks at the calendar pinned to the wall. His fever is killing him.

Three weeks.

Three weeks Shindou had abandoned him.

Why did he left again? Oh, yes. To go to space. To play football.

To play football with other people than him.

It hurts so much.

It's not a surprise he has fallen physically ill. He barely ate for the past few days. He barely got any sleep. He did not smile anymore. His psyche had collapsed, and his body followed.

His mother tried her best to help him, but she could see that was not working. Despite all the words, the gentle caresses, everything she put to it, she could not relieve her son's pain. She was not the one he wanted.

Hana gathered a washcloth and soaked it with fresh water, then brought it to Ranmaru's to replace the old one that was covering his forehead.

"My little flower, I'm entering."

Ranmaru was lying on his bed, his gaze fixed on the ceiling, clearly lost in his thoughts. The emptiness was devouring him from the inside. He was not able to do anything anyways.

His mother gently swapped the two cloths.

"Do you need anything?", she asked, with her concerned voice.

He did not answer. She stood by his side for a few minutes, before speaking again.

"I'm going to make diner. Please come join your father and I."

She deposed a kiss on her son's forehead and left. Ranmaru was alone in his prison again.

Time seemed so slow and quick at the same time. Every second was excruciating, yet the day flew so fast. Still, he wasn't back. Would he ever be? Why did he left him behind?

Why did he discard him as soon as he did not need him anymore?

Did Takuto ever had an ounce of friendship for him?

Kirino was often the one to scold the gamemaker for his "overthinking syndrome". How ironic. Now, here he was, caught in the unending storm of his own mind.

He closed his eyes. When did it all go wrong?

Before he realized, he had drifted off to sleep.

##########

Was it a dream? Or rather, a memory?

Kirino is in his child body again. He might be around five years old; he has not entered school yet, for sure. He is practicing by the riverbank field. He tries to dribble with the ball. His father is watching him with an absent eye. The child is so focused on his own practice, that he does not realize the time going by.

Yet, eventually, something caughts his gaze.

There is a boy who seems to be about his age, watching him, from the side of the field. His clothing is flawless; casual, yet incredibly refined. He has grey wavy hair tied in a ponytail, pale skin, and brown eyes. However, those eyes... when Kirino sees them, they feel incredibly lifeless. A gaze fixated in front of the boy, not a slither of light or joy. Right now, the boy ressembles a puppet: an impecable appearance to a soulless husk.

Next to the boy is an adult woman; she is dressed in a perfect black and white robe, her hair gathered in a low bun. She stands straight, her arms behind her back, watching over the young boy by her side. Is it her mother? They don't look alike at all.

Kirino feels intimidated, but he can't just ignore them. The boy's eyes... he feels haunted by them. He looks so unhappy. It's... uncanny.

The defender suddenly has an idea. He grabs the ball at his feet into his hands, and walks towards the boy, presenting the ball in front of him with a wide smile.

"Hey! Do you like football?"

The boy's gaze's stays dark and unlit.

"Like... football?"

His voice is so monotonous, so sad, so lifeless. Everyword tears Kirino's heart apart. He is not used to sad people. He does not like people to be sad. He wants the boy to be happy, to smile.

"Yes!" resumes Kirino, his voice filled with enthusiasm. "You were watching me, so I supposed you like football."

The boy's gaze returns to the ground in front of him.

"I... You... Do you like football?"

His voice is so robotic. The boy is so odd. No, he is so sad too. Kirino feels intimidated and scared - as he is a shy kid - but he wants to share his passion for the ball, and hopes doing so will let the boy spare him a smile.

"Of course! Football is incredible!" he yells excitingly, "Have you watched Inazuma Japan play last year? They were amazing! Football is so much fun!"

The pink-haired smile and enthusiasm dies out as he sees that the young boy's eyes became even sadder and darker. He swears the boy is about to cry. Why? Did he say something wrong?

"Fun? How... how can you find it fun?", states the boy while his voice breaks, and tears begin flowing from his face, "Football... it's just another way to secure a social standing. If you're not good at football.. you're worthless."

What was the boy saying? What was he talking about? Kirino felt hurt. How could he speak such things about one's value, about one's worth? Yet, the defender he could see the boy was even more hurt than him by his own words. The pink-haired's bright smile died out, now showing an empathetic face, yet a determined one.

He's gonna show him. He's gonna show him he's wrong about football.

"Football is not about your value! Football is a game where you can have fun!" he affirms.

The boy's tears grow in strength.

"How can you do it?" he sobs, "I... It's been a while since I see you come here to play. And everytime... you have that bright smile on your face... How do you do it? I want to know. I want to know what you have that I don't!"

His voice was almost threatening when he finished his sentence. Kirino did take a step back, taken by surprise, but the boy's tears told him it was pain, and not animosity, that drove him to yell at him.

Ranmaru was very brave for a kid his age, or perhaps that he loved football so much, for he did press on.

"Because... when you strike the ball, it's like there's nothing else in the world anymore. You try and try again, and it's frustrating, but then, you do something incredible, and tada! You're so proud of yourself and happy." He gestured with his hand, while juggling with the ball using his legs. However, the ball escaped his control, and landed a few meters behind. He ran to pick it back up, and then back to the boy, proposing the ball to him again.

"Wanna try? I can teach you. You'll see, it's so super fun!"

The boy grabs the ball. His gaze seems hesitant, unsure. Yet, he pushes the ball using his knee, in an impeccable sequence of juggling. Yet, to Kirino, it still feels wrong. It feels robotic. It's as if the boy was doing an exercise, not enjoying himself.

Before Kirino can find something else to say, the boy grabs the ball with his hands again, and continues, always with his emotionless voice.

"Everybody can do that... It's not worth anything."

Kirino knows that the boy is sad, yet he is but a mere child. His patience is quite short-lived.

"Stop it! Why are you doing that? You wanted to play with me or just insult me?" he yells without thinking. He goes back to the center of the field, his arms extended on both sides. "Hey. What position are you playing at?", Kirino asks.

The boy looks surprised, and sustains his gaze for the first time. The pink-haired see two red eyes, their colour as pale as dried blood.

"I'm a forward," he answers.

"Alright," Kirino resumes, "well, I'm a defender. So, how about we play a game? You try to dribble past me and I try to steal the ball."

The boy launches a gaze in the direction of the woman who is accompanying him. She nods silently, and he arrives on the field. He puts the ball at his feet, and begin to try dribbling.

His playstyle ressembles his whole personality: robotic. Kirino can know exactly where he wants to go, and snatches the ball effortlessly.

Tears form in the boy's eyes.

"I can't even do it. See? I told you I'm worthless."

Yet, Kirino has decided he is not done until this boy speaks of football with at least a sliver of sparkles in his eyes.

"No! It's not that you're worthless, it's that you lack training. Try again! Me too I tripped a lot, before I was even able to make two steps without losing the ball."

So they try, again. Kirino steals the ball again, and the boy seems about to quit anew, but the defender encourages him once more. With each more trial, he can see that the boy becomes more focused, the ball being his only objective, as if avoiding the defender's was the one and only thing he was born for. His movements begin to feel less robotic, as if he's going more and more with his own flow. He trips, and as time passes by, he gets back up quicker, without needing the pink-haired's encouragements.

Kirino himself is not thinking about anything else than this little duel. The boy's movements become harder and harder to read. He has to admit that he's progressing quite quickly.

Eventually, the boy tries to dribble Kirino by the left, and at the moment where the defender extends his leg to intercept the ball, the boy just snatches it with his other foot and bypass the pink-haired by the right in a superb feint.

Both kids fall silent for a few moments. They, who were so focused, hear again the noise of the outside world. The cars. The birds. The flow of the river. The wind on the trees.

And suddenly, the two of them turn around to face each other.

"I-I..." begins the other boy, "I did it. I can't believe it..."

Tears begin forming in his eyes.

"I did it! I went past you!" he exclaims with a bright smile on his smile. "I did it! I did it! It was so much..."

He suddenly stops, realizing what he was about to say.

"Fun... that's... what you meant?"

Kirino scans the other one. His impecable clothes are now sullied by dirt. His perfect skin is covered in bruises. Yet, the most striking thing is his two eyes, who now look like bright rubies, shining like the sunset.

Is he truly the same boy as a few moments ago?

"Yes, you did it because you persevered! I'm proud of you. Me too, I had a lot of fun, you know. Let's do it again!"

The pink-haired smile is bright, and the boy answers with one equally as big.

"Sorry, young master, but it is more than time to go," suddenly interrupts the well-dressed woman.

The boy looks disappointed, yet, his face is still more lively than it ever was before they began this little duel of them.

"I'm sorry, I-I got to go. I... Promise me we'll do this again, okay? It's... It's the first time I had so much fun playing football. No... It was the first time I ever had so much fun."

The boy looks so sincere and happy, flustered even.

"Come by, same place, same hour, in a week?" he offers.

"I promise," the defender answers smiling.

The boy begins to walk away. Kirino is sad, but they'll hopefully see each other again at the same place.

Suddenly, Kirino realizes something.

"W-wait! I don't even know your name!"

The young boy turns around to face him again.

"O-oh, sorry," he chuckles.

"My name is Shindou Takuto."

##########

"So, Captain did not come today neither, isn't it?"

"He was not even in class. It's been three days. I hope he is alright."

"Yeah, and he's not answering on the phone neither..."

"You know what? Screw that, I'm sick of it. Give me his address. I'm gonna pay him a visit."

"Wait, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Do I look like I care? Give me his address. I can't stand by this nonsense anymore."

Chapter Text

Kariya really hated Kirino at first. When he arrived at Raimon, he was still wary of people, and wanted to do his best to impress his teammates, to earn their respect and love, no matter the means, even if he had to act manipulative and dirty. The other defender did not fell for his lies, though - moreover, he already was the star defender of the team, the very spot Kariya desperately yearned for, in hopes of being accepted. In his eyes, Kirino was a living threat - one he needed to get rid of.

Now, it was different, though. They managed to sort out their disagreements, began to trust themselves as teammates. Kariya was flustered to admit that by now, Kirino, alongside with Hikaru, was probably the person he felt the closest too. Their complementarity as players lead to their duo becoming the core of Raimon's defense, earning them a reputation amongst other teams. Thus, when neither of them was picked for Inazuma Japan, their disappointment was twice as powerful.

However, despite how much Kariya appreciated Kirino, he always knew that Shindou had a special spot in his senior's heart - for they had known each other for longer than anybody else on the team, and their friendship was extremely close. It was so close that he wondered if there was not more, and he sure loved teasing Kirino about that. They sure looked as if the two of them did not need anybody else.

Nevertheless, it still hurted, because Kariya always felt second. Kirino told him how much he appreciated him, and that his friendship with Shindou did not change a thing about their own friendship. Yet, it was a fact that when he needed support, it was towards Shindou that the pink-haired would turn to. Sure, it did not prevent Kirino to support Kariya when he needed - yet, the first year yearned for it to be reciprocal, and his wish never came to be.

It was jealousy, he knew it, and he embraced it.

Perhaps teasing was just a coping mechanism.

So, when Shindou was finally out of the picture, Kariya felt an indescriptible mix of relief and self-loathing. Relief because he had this chance he had waited forever to be the one Kirino could rely on, he had an unmissable opportunity to get closer to his senior, he finally could be the one his precious friend talks to. Self-loathing because he knew the void Shindou's departure left in Kirino's heart, and it disgusted himself to take pleasure in seeing somebody he cared so much about hurt.

Those two contradictory feelings quickly left before fear and worry.

Kirino was worsening with each passing day. Everybody on the team could see it. Dark, evergrowing eyebags. Worsening performances on the field. Sapphire blue eyes losing their spark. Panic attacks he tried his best to hide, but that Kariya had no trouble distinguishing.

He really tried to uplift his mood. He proposed that they do activities on the weekend. They went to the movies together. The first year treated him an ice-cream from time to time. He could see that it temporarily improve his senior's mood, yet, it was never enough. It would never be enough. Kariya was not Shindou.

Perhaps they did not need anybody else to feel safe and happy, but now it seemed as they just needed each other to fulfill those two conditions, and it was a whole other level. It was not close friendship anymore, it was straight up emotional dependance.

Kariya kept in touch with Hamano, Hayami and Kurama, since they were on the senior's class. Apparenty, the situation was no better during lessons. Recently they began to see him fall asleep on his desk, probably from sleep deprivation - something that never happened before. Some teachers even went to Hamano because they were worried about Kirino's health. Thus, they turned to Kariya, for they believed he was second closest to the defender after Shindou himself.

Kariya tried, he really did, for he really cared. Now, a new feeling was setting in.

Frustration.

He could not take it anymore. It was stupid, it was not something he could stand for much longer. He hated to see his friend in this state, because he was just so hyperfocused on his precious Takuto to see the rest of the world around him.

It culminated when the temporary captain just began to skip practice altogether, only for the first year to learn that he skipped classes as well.

He had to act, even if he had to threaten the other members to get Kirino's address. Now, here he was, in front of his friend's house. He did not know how he would do it, but he decided that he would give him the reality check no matter the cost, and that he would not leave this stupid house before his idiot of a friend understood that there were other things in life than Shindou Takuto.

He always wished that Kirino would invite him to his house one day. Now, here he was, blatantly intruding in hopes of setting things right.

He rang, and waited. A young woman opened the door; she looked to be a bit older than he, probably a High Schooler. She was incredibly pretty; her black hair was tied in a low braid, but what stroke Kariya the most was her two gorgeous sapphire eyes, identical to those of somebody else he knows.

"Is that a Raimon Junior High uniform?" she inquired, her voice kind and soft, "Are you an acquaintance of Ranmaru? May I ask you who you are?"

"My name is Kariya Masaki. I play in the football team. I am a teammate of Kirino-senpai."

"Oh, so you are Kariya-kun. Ranmaru told me about you. I am Chika, his older sister."

Kariya felt embarassed that she seemed to know who he was, yet, an undescriptible warmth filled his chest. He was important enough so that Kirino would mention him to his sister.

"Have you come to check on him?" she continued, "You may wonder why he has not been to school for a few days now. He has fallen terribly ill - fever and all - and has been bedridden ever since."

She paused, as if she hesitated to continue. Kariya did not have her reservation.

"It's not a physical problem, isn't it? The real deal is that he's heartbroken by Shindou-senpai's sudden departure."

Much to his surprise, Chika laughed.

"You truly are as blunt as Ran described, Kariya-kun", she giggled, "but yeah, you are right. Ranmaru and Takuto have always been extremely close friends, and the fact that he had to go away for the Football Frontier International in a place devoid of any communication devices, truly affected Ran more than I could have imagined."

Kariya froze. Yes, it was true, the public did not know about the Grand Celesta Galaxy. To them, Shindou was just away playing a normal football tournament, not fighting aliens for his planet's survival.

"Mother, Father and I tried to talk to him, but... our little Ran is quite reserved when it comes to his emotions. He's the kind of person to keep it all bottled up, buried inside, until it devours him."

She looked defeated, her eyes reflecting a mix of worry and sadness.

"May I try to talk to him as well?" Kariya risked, but it was what he had came for anyways. "I'm not his family. Perhaps that will make a change."

"I don't know," she began, hesitantly, "but it's worth a try. I... if you could restore Ran's smile, you have no idea how grateful it would make me. Please, come in," she finished, gesturing him to enter.

Kariya took off his shoes and entered. Kirino's house was modest. Simple decorations adorned the walls; a bouquet of flowers was lying on the living room's table. How did somebody living in a place so plain become so close with Mister I-can-host-a-pajama-party-for-the-whole-Raimon-team-and-everybody-gets-his-individual-guest-room, the first-year wondered.

"My parents are not back from work yet", Chika continued. "Would you like some tea or biscuits, Kariya-kun?"

"Thank you for your offer, Chika-san, but I'd rather talk to Kirino-senpai as soon as I can."

"Oh, sure. Then, follow me. His room is upstairs."

She led him up an alley of stairs. Kariya could not help but notice on the wall a beautiful drawing of a slightly younger Ranmaru, his long pink hair let loose, smiling vividly. The painting was breathtaking, and Kariya found himself blushing, wondering if he would ever have the chance to be given such a loving gaze by his friend.

"Drawing is a hobby of mine," Chika explained, having noticed the younger's one awe. "I am especially fond of watercolor - I found this technique to particularly do justice to Ran's natural beauty."

Kariya tries his best to regain his composure. This painting felt almost too intimate, and he has to calm down before facing the real Kirino - he can't afford to let his senior notice the state his smile puts him in.

"It's here", Chika states while gently indicating a door with a pink orchid frame suspended. "I hope you'll find the right words to help Ranmaru."

The first year looks as determined as ever.

She knocks at the door.

"Ran, there is a friend who is here for you," she says out loud, before adding in a whisper, "Good luck, Kariya-kun."

The first year enters the bedroom, and Chika closes the door behind him. His gaze scans the room, and he notices strands of pink hair stick out of a wooden bed. Kirino is turning his back on him - Kariya does not know if it's voluntary, but he sure feels like his senior would prefer to be alone in his laments.

The first year closed in, and sat cross-legged just before the bed's frame.

"Kirino-senpai", Kariya said with a very soft and gentle voice so unlikely of him. "I came because I am worried about you."

Silence. No answer. What did he expect anyways? Kariya knows very well that his senior does not want him here.

However, the teal-haired promised to himself he would not leave before he found a way to help his friend. So, he presses on.

"You haven't showed up in practice for three days. Hamano told me you were not in class either. Everybody is worried sick. I asked the senpais for your address. I just... I can't leave you like this."

This time, it was worry that filled his voice. Kariya felt vulnerable, letting Kirino hear how much he cared about him - yet, he did not hesitate. It would be alright because it was Kirino. He did not mind having to show this side of him, if it was to help his friend. To make him feel loved. To remind him that, even if Shindou was not there anymore, he was not alone, and had never been.

Still no answer.

"Perhaps you think we are blind,", Kariya resumes, "but we are not. Everybody saw how affected you were when you were not selected for Inazuma Japan - even if we all kind of were. However, when Tenma told us they would go to space... and ever since their departure... everybody has seen how Shindou-senpai" - and Kariya could see Kirino shiver at the name - "absence has shattered you."

Silence still reigned. Kariya felt desperate. No reaction at all. He honestly felt like crying, which was so unlike him. But it was not about him. It was about Kirino.

He took in a deep breath. He did not want to have to come to this. Being gentle really was not something he knew how to do. He would have to resort to his usual ways. The taunting, barbed way.

Kariya stood up again, as if to assertain some kind of superiority. He cleared his throat, and his voice was back to his usual, mocking, blunt, daring tone. For the first time in ages, though, it felt wrong to his own ears.

"Awwww, look at you, you poor princess," he began, sick at his own words, "unable to do anything but cry waiting for her knight to come back."

Still no reaction. He hates to do this. It's not like usual. Kariya loves to mess around with people, especially his fellow defender. Now though, it's not mere teasing. It is pure nastiness.

He is back to square one. It's the malice he displayed to Kirino when they first met, the ill-will he learnt to overcome by his side alongside with his general distrust of people.

Now though, even if he wields it to hurt, the eventual purpose is not the same at all.

"I already knew you were Shindou's lapdog,", he continues, and his own words make him ready to throw up, "but I did not think it was to the point of suffocating when the master is not holding the leash."

He sees Kirino tensing up. Perfect. He just has to presh a little further. This is excruciating for him, but he can do it.

It's for Kirino's good in the end.

"Oh, how I would love to be Shindou-senpai. How great it must to have such a subservient lackey."

He made his best to make the words as hurtful as he could, the irony in his voice being the culmination of his art. He sure knew from how Kirino reacted in their early days that he was in truth quite short-tempered - anger was his pick to trigger a reaction of any sort.

And it worked. Kirino suddenly flipped to his other side to face him, and immediately threw at him full force a pillow, simultaneously yelling like an animal.

"Don't you dare speak of us like that!"

Receiving the pillow sure hurted, but it was nothing compared to the scene that now laid before Kariya's eyes. He remembered the watercolor painting, and the difference was even more striking. You could never believe those two were the same person. Kirino's eyes were red and lifeless, the proof that he had cried himself to death. His cheeks were furrowed. His hair was let loose, completely messy, unlike the beautifully taken care of threads of silk put together in ponytails he was used to. Tears were forming in his eyes, and the two sparkling sapphires were now muddy water, reflecting the purest form of pain Kariya had ever witnessed.

He has to press on. It's for his own good.

For Kirino.

"Oh, a reaction, finally", the first year continued, trying to look amused and taunting.

"What's your deal?" His senior's voice was dry, yet incredibly broken. "Did you come all the way here just to laugh at me? Am I this pitiful that not only Takuto, but now you too, have decided to discard me?"

Tears began heavily flowing on the second-year's cheeks. Kariya hated that.

He could not take it anymore. Now that he had his attention, perhaps being a bit kinder was a good idea.

"Nobody's discarding you, Kirino, and you know that."

Kariya closed in on Kirino, and sat anew just next to his bed.

The second-year seemed taken aback, but did not calm down.

"Then why?", he kept on, his voice still a mix of rage and despair. "Why did you come all the way to my fucking house just to make fun of me? Why are you treating me back as you did when we first met? What kind of petty lies did you tell my sister to convince her to let you in?"

The first-year knew what he was calling for with his rough play, yet, he was still shocked by the pure display of hatred that Kirino just threw at him.

He deserved it, but it still hurted, because in the end, he did not wanted his senior to believe all of this. This was just a tool. It was not the truth. He needed to let him know.

"K-Kirino, I did not..." he stammered, "I came because I'm worried about you."

That's it, he was being vulnerable. He felt so embarassed, but it was worth it. Kirino was more important than his stupid pride.

"I came because I care about you. A lot. You mean a lot to me."

Kariya's voice was unusually soft, something that the second year was surely not used to.

"All of those things I said," he resumed, "I did not meant them. It's just that... you were unresponsive, and I needed to get your attention, and I did not know how to do."

Kirino's expression softened a bit, his surprise eyes wide open.

"I care about you. Deeply." Kariya stated anew, with a sincerity he had never shown to anybody else. He was so deeply embarassed that he could not help but add, "Enjoy it, because I won't say it often."

This sudden confession had profoundly moved Kirino. He could feel the genuine sincerity of his friend, every word flowing with a profoundly rooted love and care. He could not help but feel extremely shameful at the situation, that such kindness could not reach him before, than Kariya had to resort to malice and ill-will to get him to listen.

The pink-haired's eyes fled the other one's gaze.

"Kariya..." he murmured, his voice now returned to his calm, usual tone. "I... I'm sorry. I'm a burden to everybody, am I not? That is why Takuto left me."

This last sentence was something Kariya expected, yet, he still felt a sharp pain in his heart. Of course. His jealousy was coming back at him full force, the very feeling he had buried in front of his friend's sadness, his desire to help him feel better.

Yet, he swallowed.

"You too... you'll leave me one day, isn't it?"

The hunter suddenly felt very stupid for his burst of jealousy. Kirino's voice was miserable, a feeling that the teal-haired knew all too well.

The fear of being abandoned.

After all, he himself was left behind by his own parents.

Kirino moved closer to the edge of the bed, and his right arm circled Kariya's shoulders. This sudden touch took the first-year aback, but he did not budge. The pink-haired buried his head into his friend's right shoulder, desperately yearning for his friend's warmth.

"Don't go, please. I could not... I can't... I wasn't able to take it once. If it happens again, then I..."

Kirino did not even finish his sentence and resumed crying. Kariya's right hand reached for his friend's head, gently caressing its back, his fingers trailing between the pink threads.

He had always wanted it. To be the one to be there for Kirino. Yet, it felt so wrong, because his friend was so miserable, so in pain, and Kariya did not want that.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, and Kirino progressively calmed down.

"I won't leave you. I truly love you, unlike Shindou-senpai."

His old self would have said that. A manipulation, aimed to snatch Kirino for himself, as he always desired deep inside.

But he had changed, thanks to the pink-haired, thanks to Hikaru, thanks to Tenma, thanks to Raimon.

He genuinely wished for Kirino's happiness, and it was not by isolating him again, it was not by ensnaring him in his clutches that he could reach this goal.

"I won't leave you, Kirino-san. One would have to be a fool to leave somebody as incredible as you."

Oops. The last part came without thinking. Kariya immediately realized what he had just said, and blushed, heavily embarassed.

"Yet, Takuto did."

"He did not have a choice. Had he, he would have stayed by your side for sure. You two are the closest people I have ever seen," he chuckled, both trying to ease the atmosphere, and let go of his own embarassment.

Kariya could instantly feel Kirino's body stiffening, his hand that was gently resting on the teal-haired back violently grabbing his uniform, and he went back to shouting.

"He HAD the choice! You always have the choice."

His voice was oscilllating between anger and sadness.

"He could have taken me with him," Kirino sobbed. "He could have persuaded this stupid coach, if only he tried harder. I know I could have performed in this team, soul or not, I am a fucking member of the strongest eleven of all times! No. No, even if he could not have convinced the coach, he should have not gone then. He was not needed. If eight beginners could replace me, then he himself could have been replaced likewise. Or perhaps he thought himself above me? He should have chosen to stay by me. He should have thought about what I feel, instead of just going to fulfill his selfish savior whims!"

At every word, Kariya felt the anger rising up inside of him. He tried to contain it. He knew that Kirino was not meaning what he was saying. He knew he was just desperate, kept trapped in his own thoughts, that it was his insecurities speaking, writing an absurd scenario and turning it into his reality. Yet, this was too much. No matter how hurt, no matter how suffering, he could not stand by and let him be a complete jerk.

His hands grabbed both Kirino's shoulder, and forced them face to face. Kirino's face was still red from the crying.

Kariya hesitated at his sight. But he needed to do this.

It's for Kirino's own good.

"Forgive me, Kirino-senpai." The voice was apologetic, and the pink-haired face was hit with a wave of worry.

It was short-lived, though, for Kariya acted quickly.

He launched his hand and slapped his senior's cheek with all his might.

A gasp of surprise escaped the older one's mouth.

"Have... have you gone actually insane?" the latter shouted. "What's your fucking deal?"

Kariya letted it all out.

"No, you, what's YOUR deal?" His voice was incredibly upset, a feeling he had not displayed yet despite going from hurtful to supportive earlier. "Do you realize how fucking selfish everything you just said was? I thought you were over your stupid inferiority complex after your Mixi-Max with Jeanne, but it seems I was mistaken!"

Kirino was out of breath. He was not ready for that kind of retaliation.

It suddenly hit him. Had he truly been acting that awful to the people around him? He was so caught in his own misery he did not notice.

"The world does not revolve around you," Kariya continued, his voice still loud, nor Shindou, nor anybody else! You say he did not think about what you feel, but have you thought about how HE feels at all?"

Kirino was shocked by this sudden burst of anger, and Kariya's words hurted him. Because he felt like he was right.

When was the last time he had thought about Takuto's feelings about this whole situation?

However, his comrade was not finished.

"He has been forced to play with complete beginners. Then, he was told he had the fate of his entire planet on his shoulders. He is out there all alone, with people he barely knows, separated from his family, whose fates now lies upon his shoulders. Do you imagine how much the pressure must be crushing him? Yet, he still went, because he wanted to protect this planet - he wanted to protect YOU."

"M-me?"

"Just think about it! What use would there have been to stay by your side and let both your fates be decided by outer forces? No. He chose to do it himself. He chose to jump head first into the battle, so he could protect our future. Your future."

Kirino suddenly felt crushed by guilt. All this time, he had been so mad at Shindou, when in truth, the gamemaker did everything so he could protect what he cared about - and the defender was part of that.

"I would not like to be in Shindou-senpai's shoes. He is pushing himself to the limit so he can protect the ones he loves, only for his best friend to get back at him with it. I would be crushed."

The second year felt all the weight of those last words. All this time, had he really been acting like this? Had he really be an awful friend? Had he truly acted all selfish, taking pleasure in making himself miserable, inventing his own narrative, while Takuto was risking his life for his sake? Before he realized it, tears began flowing abundantly on his cheeks.

"I-I... I never wanted... Have I truly... Have I truly been... acting this selfish?"

The words were hesitant, barely audible, shaken by sobs. Kariya hurted to see his friend so miserable, but he could not lie to him. Hollow people pleasing was not something Kirino deserved.

"Yes."

At this simple word, the pink-haired completely crumbled. He covered his eyes with his hands, his sobs became cries, and he seemed inconsolable. His younger friend closed in, sat on his knees, and hugged him tight against his chest to let him the space to calm himself. Kariya was not comfortable with hugs, but he could not really think of any other way to help his dear friend quell his despair.

"It's okay," the junior tried to comfort him. "You know... we all make mistakes. We're just kids."

"But now," Kirino protested between two sobs, "everybody must hate me, isn't it? Even you! Why don't you hate me?"

"No. I would never. I told you. I care about you. You are my friend. And friends support each other."

Damn it, when had he become so honeyed? Tenma sure had a bad influence on him.

"You sound like Tenma," the pink-haired chuckled, visibly thinking the same thing.

"Well," Kariya resumed, embarassed, "perhaps because Tenma is right?"

"Perhaps."

Kirino's body had stopped shaking. He was still cuddled against his junior's, but his crying seemed to have stopped.

"Tell me, Kariya... what can I do now? I want to get better, but I... I don't know how to do. And I have to apologize to everybody too... To the Team, for failing them as a captain..."

The second-year was the most vulnerable Kariya had ever seen him. He was relying on him for answers, for resources, for finding his path towards the future.

Kariya felt somehow happy, and his desire to help his friend burned even stronger.

"First of," the first-year began, "I think you really need to detach yourself from Shindou-senpai. Your relationship... it's destroying you. No matter how much you love each other, this - this is not normal."

"I know," Kirino admitted, ashamed. "You already told me that... how I am emotionally dependant on him. That's true. I've always sacrificed myself for him... because it felt right. Because he meant so much to me."

The senior paused.

"Because... I was scared of losing him."

Kariya understood that feeling all too well. That was the very reason why he hated Kirino at first, why he wanted to manipulate everybody against him. He wanted to make sure people would not leave him alone.

"You won't lose him. He cares about you too, I'm sure of it, even if he's not necessarily good at showing it," the teal-haired tried to reassure him.

"I know... Still... I'm scared."

"It's okay."

Silence settled in again, before Kirino broke it anew.

"What about the team? How do I apologize for failing them as a captain?"

Kariya did not know how to word his thoughts, but gave it a shot.

"You show them you're doing better. That's what we all want the most. We've been worried sick about you. I already told you that."

"You think it'll be that easy?", the pink-haired inquired.

"Yes, because the team cares about you. So, you can apologize if you want, but if you want to make it up to us, just come and play football with us while arboring a large smile like you used to."

Perhaps it was just wishful thinking, that it was the team's desire. Yet, for sure, it was at least Kariya's.

Kirino slowly separated his body from Kariya's, releasing the hug they had been sharing.

"I... Thank you. I really feel better," he timidly stated. "It's going to be difficult, but... I really want to try to overcome this. I want to recover... I want to spend time with the ones I love. I want Takuto to be proud of me when he returns."

The first-year could not help but feel irritated at the mention of the ex-captain's name again, but it was going to take time for his senior to heal his emotional dependance. However, now, Kariya was just happy that Kirino looked calmer and appeased.

"I... I'd like to apologize to my sister," he calmly continued. "Would you... would you help me do so?"

"Of course, Kirino-senpai."

The two of them stood up, and the senior hesitantly grabbed his junior's hand, as if he needed something to ground himself, as if this mere physical touch could provide him the calmness he needeed. The touch made Kariya's heart flutter, and his blushing resumed. He was so happy to be able to share such an intimate gesture with his fellow defender.

The pink-haired opened his room's door, and the two of them walked down the staircase, hand in hand. Kirino was trailing behind Kariya, unsure about how to face his sister that came into view when they arrived in the living room. She was busy in the kitchen, and turned around when she heard the footsteps. Her face was filled with indescriptible worry.

"I heard you two shouting multiple times... are you okay?"

Her voice was of the most sincere concern.

Kariya could feel Kirino's hand shaking. He firmly, yet delicately led his arm, then the pink-haired's whole body in front of him, slightly pushing him by setting his hand between his shoulder blades.

Kirino turned around, his eyes undecisive and worried, to meet Kariya's determined yet sorry gaze. The first-year gave a slight nod, and his senior's gaze returned to his sister, who was still staring at him with concern.

Kirino let go of Kariya's hand and began running towards his sister.

"Chiiikaaaaa!" he sobbed, tying his arms around her waist, crumbling into tears while she enclosed him with her own limbs, gently lulling him. "I'm so, so, so sorry for how I've acted. I... I just... I was so hurt by Takuto's departure, and I... I forgot how lucky I am to have so many people around me who love me. You... Mom... Dad... And Kariya."

The first-year blushed at the mention of his name.

The young woman was still slowly moving from left to right to comfort her little brother.

"It's okay, Ran, it's okay. Mom, Dad, and me... we just want you to be happy."

Her gaze rose up to meet up with the teal-haired's.

"Kariya-kun... thank you very much, for comforting our little Ran when we could not."

The first year could swear, he had never blushed so many times in a day than he had today. Not even close.

"Thank you, Chika-san", he answered, "but it was nothing, really. I mean, the only thing, I wanted was to help Kirino-senpai."

The latter gently pushed himself out of his sister's grip, and their eyes met. Chika nodded, and Kirino turned around to face Kariya anew. He slowly walked up to him, his fingers fidgeting, his gaze fixated on the ground, visibly embarassed.

"Kariya... Thank you. Thank you for... for waking me up. I..."

"I told you already, no need to thank you. I did this because I wanted to, because I care about you."

"You said I would not hear you say it often, yet, it's the fourth time today," the second-year chuckled.

"Wait, you kept count?", Kariya let out in an annoyed sigh, blushing again - he really had a year worth of blushing in one evening - "if you don't want me to tell you, I suppose I'll just go back to annoying you."

Kirino laughed, and a genuine smile appeared on his face.

The smile of the painting.

A tear of joy rolled down Kariya's cheek without him even noticing.

He had longed for this smile for so long, and it was all his.

"Would you like to eat with us, Kariya-kun?" Chika offered. "Our parents should return soon."

"I'd like to, but my dads must be waiting for me", the first-year lied. Truth is, he was all too embarassed to stay a bit longer, lest his heart explodes.

"You're leaving already?" Kirino asked, his voice tainted with disappointment. "Well... I'll see you tomorrow at practice, then."

The sapphire eyes had risen again to connect with the amber ones. The second-year still seemed embarassed.

"May... May I hug you, Kariya?" he pleaded.

"I can't say no when you ask like that," the junior mumbled, and he really had to go because he could feel he was blushing again.

The hug was warm and enjoyable. It lasted for a few moments, before Kirino released his grip onto the first year.

"See you tomorrow, Kariya," he gently said, with a slight smile.

"See you tomorrow, Kirino-senpai," the teal-haired politely answered, before making his way to the entrance, and putting his shoes on.

As he opened the door, he turned one last time to see that beautiful smile he had missed so much during those last weeks.