Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jamie sucked in a breath of surprise as cold hands trailed down his chest to his stomach, fingers teasing dangerous territory. “Why’re you holding your breath?” A breath whispered into his ear, the tingle reminding him to breathe again. “You trust me, right?” They asked, unaware of the goosebumps forming on his skin. 

Struggling to find his voice through the fog clouding his mind, Jamie could only nod fervently. Distantly, he heard the man above him chuckle before shifting himself lower and lower until he was sat on top of him. Like a magnet drawn to its opposite, Jamie’s hands found immediate purchase on the other man’s waist. It felt like he was melting the frost frozen on the man’s pale skin. “I do,” he managed to wrangle out before gasping from ice-cold kisses tracing down his neck. 

Painfully aware of everything around him, Jamie tried to focus on his rapid heartbeat instead of the smell of coffee lingering from the other’s breath. It was intoxicating…comforting. 

“I love you,” he whined pathetically, the words leaving his lips before he could stop them from spilling out. Through his desperation, Jamie tugged the man closer, closer, and closer — until it felt like he was glued onto him. 

The words he longed to hear repeated back to him never came, or maybe they had. Jamie couldn’t tell from the roaring hum of the AC. “Say something,” he begged as he explored the other man’s body with his hands greedily. “Please.” He added. 

The hairs on his neck stood proud as he felt lips draw closer to his ear once more. Instead of the familiar scent of coffee he had bathed himself in, Jamie instead inhaled the soft scent of pinewood. “Jamie,” the voice whispered, almost as though the other man was now miles away. “Jamie.” He repeated, and now the familiar tone had been replaced by a higher pitched voice. 

“No,” he whined under his breath, head thrashing from side to side. The hum of the AC felt like it was now humming the tune of a familiar song, one Jamie hadn’t heard in years. “Don’t go.” No matter how hard he tried to fight his own emotions, Jamie couldn’t help the lone tear from running down his face. He needed to hold onto the man as tight as he could, but the calm of the bedroom he was once in was now replaced by slight jolts of movement. 

“Jamie!” The voice yelled, and before he could discern where this was coming from, Jamie felt a hand slap his shoulder. The sound alone was enough to jolt him awake, the sting of the hit only registering once he adjusted his eyes to the darkness. 

“Wake up man,” the voice said, more annoyed than before. “I’m not dragging you and your luggage to my apartment.” Disappointed, and still a little stuck in his own world, Jamie shifted in his seat to hopefully finish the dream he’d been having. 

Instead of silk sheets and the touch of a warm body, Jamie was only met with the violent jolt of the car he was in. “What?” He grumbled once he realized he wasn’t going to be granted his wish. Jamie rubbed the remnants of sleep away from his eyes before adjusting once more in his seat to look out the window. 

The familiar scenery outside made his stomach churn uncomfortably, or maybe the feeling was due to the fact that he’d been having a wet dream while in a car with his lifelong friend, Sunwoo. He’d been having odd dreams ever since he planned to visit California again, but of course they’d invade his mind at the worst of times. 

Realizing his own silence, Jamie ripped his gaze away from the window and back to Sunwoo, who’d been watching him with a teasing smile. She was leaning against the window, elbow propped against the door as if she were watching a newborn baby. “You okay?” She asked, her tone light and smirk still evident on her lips. She looked to be holding back a joke, but her concerns surfaced before they could land. “Sounded like you were having a nightmare.” The misunderstanding was enough to bring all of Jamie back to earth, and Jamie used this to stare once more.

The roots of Sunwoo’s hair were grown out now, the greyish-blue of her signature dye now beginning near her eyebrows. He mentioned this in passing when she picked him up at the airport, but she simply shrugged the comment off. Nonchalantly, she told him she “liked it like that,” before gesturing to his hair in retaliation. The last time Sunwoo had seen him before moving back to England, the tips of Jamie’s box braids were dyed a vibrant orange. Now, they remained a manageable length and lacked the color. The woes of strict uniform rules in a corporate job.

When the spotlight had moved onto his own appearance, Jamie mirrored her shrug before parroting her response with a smile of his own. 

Finding it difficult to conjure the right words, Jamie licked his dry lips, finally regretting not buying a water bottle while at the airport. Something about the air of California had him feeling overwhelmed, maybe even sick in a way. England’s air was no better, so maybe he was feeling sick for a reason he couldn’t quite place — or wanted to unpack. No matter what it was, he was already yearning for the familiarity of England.

“Soakin’ in the fresh air?” Sunwoo asked jokingly, her head turned to look out the window. “Hasn’t changed much…has it?” The question was hesitant, the brightness in her voice now far away. Jamie followed her gaze, catching sight of an all too familiar street. Even after six years of being away, much of the California he grew up with still remained. 

“I guess not.” He mumbled, now aware that Sunwoo was now staring at him through the reflection of the window. Even with the foggy view, Jamie could still see her eyes were filled to the brim with one question she had long given up on hoping for an answer, ‘when are you coming to visit?’ Only this time, she was probably dying to ask why it took him so long to visit. Every video call, phone call, or text more often than not ended with Sunwoo mentioning that maybe he should visit soon or if he had any plans to. Every time she’d ask, he’d just say he was too busy, sometimes even wave it off with a small, ‘soon.’ 

If this disappointed the girl, Jamie never noticed. He didn’t let drawn out sighs or Sunwoo’s text bubble disappearing reappearing get to him, because it didn’t mean anything. 

Eventually, his excuses had lost any value and Jamie had turned to ignoring the question, changing the subject, and even avoiding the girl altogether. He didn’t mean to create distance between them — it was the last thing he wanted, but having Sunwoo believe he was just too busy was better than admitting what the real reason was. 

Much to his surprise, the girl’s curiosity only lingered, but the look in her eyes remained as she hummed in acknowledgment. “I guess there’s no reason for me to give you the grand tour.” She teased, her hands waving in the air at the last two words. 

Although every second in California felt like another step deeper into a bottomless pit of tar, Jamie was happy to spend some time with Sunwoo. England was lonely, the friends he made at work unable to replace the Sunwoo shaped hole in his life. “Doesn’t hurt to jog my memory.” He replied with a smile, the taxi stopping at a red light. With the car silent once again, Jamie could finally discern the song playing softly from the car’s radio. ‘Under the Milky Way’ by The Church, a song Jamie hasn’t listened to in years. He wasn’t the biggest fan of rock, or any other music that fell under that umbrella, but there was a point in his life where he…appreciated the sound. 

Tapping his fingers along to the beat, Jamie let his mind wander for what felt like the millionth time. He took note of everything that seemed even a little different, trying to remember what it had looked like years ago. There were new benches, old murals now painted over, and stores he once passed by either vacant or replaced. It was California, in all its glory, and yet not at all. 

“They’re performing here soon.” Sunwoo said, cutting into his thoughts like a knife. She watched as Jamie’s face remained confused, waiting for her to continue. If she were talking before this, he definitely didn’t catch any of it. “Emira’s band? Tala’s girlfriend? We talked about this a lot.” 

Right, the band. Trail of Fears, an up and coming band Sunwoo - and by association, Jamie - was acquainted with. Tala, their friend, was in a long-term relationship with the band’s lead singer and guitarist, Emira. Tala had kept their relationship a secret at first, but Jamie was already in England by the time they became public with their relationship.  

Jamie had listened to a couple of their songs, only because Tala made sure he was up to date with the band’s activities, but he never personally looked into them himself. All he knew was that the band had started out as a duo with Emira and Zyanya, the bassist of the band. 

Emira and Zyanya trended constantly on the website that they posted music on, and despite their fans believing there to be beef between both girls, they had randomly announced their plans to collaborate. After about a year of being friends, Trail of Fears was made official. Jamie doesn’t know much after that. 

“Yeah my bad,” he said and brought his hand up to his forehead to slowly drag it down his face. He needed a nap, the jet lag was starting to get to him. “But…here? Shouldn’t they be goin’ somewhere a little more - I dunno - cooler?” He asked, realizing what ‘here’ meant. Trail of Fears was not a small band in the slightest, and the city they were currently in definitely couldn’t house the popularity of the rock band. Not even close. 

Sunwoo squinted at this, as though Jamie had insulted her personally. “What’s wrong with this place? I don’t know if you forgot but we grew up here.” Jamie didn’t understand why the girl seemed so angry over this, she was never one to defend the States. With a sigh, Sunwoo visibly relaxed. “And so did the band. They thought it’d be nice to go back to their roots, y’know? I think it’s nice.” 

Holding whatever sarcastic comment ready to come out of his mouth, Jamie just nodded in agreement. “Sounds fun,” he replied, folding his hands on his lap, the conversation coming to an end. There was no reason for Jamie to continue it. “Can’t wait to meet ‘em.” At that, both friends remained silent, the air in the taxi suffocatingly awkward. 

Almost miraculously, the song had finally switched to an artist Jamie was a little more accustomed to. When they were younger, Sunwoo didn’t really care for music from his birthplace, but she had gotten hooked onto this artist when he finally managed to convince her to give them a try. It wasn’t his style, but he wanted to like something she did too.

“I love Coldplay.” He said out loud, sneaking a look over to Sunwoo who only scoffed with a grin. It was good to see his friend still loved them as well. Jamie thanked the driver quietly in his head when he reached over to turn up the volume. For the rest of the ride back to Sunwoo’s apartment, ‘Shiver’ played in the background of a mostly silent car ride. 

-

By the time they reached Sunwoo’s apartment, the sun had finally set. The streets were void of life and the hallways were quiet, almost eerily so. Jamie felt awful making even the slightest noise, but with how sluggish he’d been feeling, he couldn’t stop himself from shuffling his feet all the way to Sunwoo’s door. “Home sweet home.” She mumbled tiredly as she pushed the door open, revealing a comfy yet barren room. The scent of fresh laundry hit his nose like a truck, almost transporting him to a time where they were both teenagers. Jamie used to loved visiting Sunwoo’s house after school, her house always smelled like the laundry detergent her family used. 

Jamie watched as Sunwoo stepped inside to place his duffle bag on top of the couch, not once looking back to watch him take a hesitant step into the living room to slowly plant his suitcase against the coffee table. “I’m gonna grab the mattress and some pillows for you, go ahead and get comfortable.” Before Jamie could offer to help her, she simply waved her hand to stop him from offering. He wasn’t going to complain, he needed to lay down. 

Jamie had decided it was best he kept everything in his suitcase instead of unpacking to organize his things. In an almost frenzied state, he had planned his entire vacation wrong and booked his motel room for the last week of his trip. It wasn’t too far from Sunwoo’s area, but a little closer to the beach. If there was anything he was looking forward to most, other than seeing his friends again, it was visiting the beach. Or, at least, to feel the breeze against his face and the sun against his back. England’s beaches were nice, don’t get him wrong, but it could never beat a hot day in California. 

Faintly, from where he was sitting on the couch, he could hear Sunwoo shuffling around, taking her time gathering what he’d need for the nights to come. Jamie smiled slightly and relaxed further into the cushions, looking around the room as he did so. There wasn’t much to see other than a few picture frames, some dating back from when he and Sunwoo were in high school. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked that happy, felt so carefree. What would his high school self say if he saw him now? What would he say to him? To a version of himself that walked unknown paths with ease?

There was a time where he had aspirations even taller than he was, yearned for a success that now seemed impossible. Jamie couldn’t believe there was a time in his life where he pursued theater. Just the thought of himself on stage acting or singing was enough to send him chuckling. Before he could transition into laughter, a bitter feeling washed over him, ending his fit almost instantly. With his laughter fading, Jamie brought a hand up to his throat — his voice certainly wasn’t what it once was, he refused to even sing along to music that played in the car. 

Occasionally, rarely, with his eyes sunken in and skin hanging off of tired bones after another grueling eight hour shift, Jamie allowed the briefest respite of foolish fantasies — a quiet hum or a tired whistle…sometimes he’d turn the music up and whisper. It was never enough to fuel the flame that once burned bright inside of him. Never.

But Jamie was…content with his new life as a normal office worker. He didn’t hate his job, not entirely that is. He was living a good and honest life, and although he knew deep down it wouldn’t compare to standing up on stage and being on the receiving end of starstruck gazes, at least he got occasional pats on his back for a job well done. 

He was too old to dream of stardom now. 

The picture that hung on the wall continued to stare back at him like a dirty mirror. Jamie wasn’t sure if the person in the frame was who he was truly meant to be, or if the husk he had turned into was his inevitable fate. “What’re you smilin’ about?” He mumbled to himself, unable to look away. 

“I got the mattress,” Jamie flinched at the sound of a door slamming open before wincing at the noise, every negative thought now shoved in the back of his mind. If Sunwoo never got a noise complaint, she was definitely going to be receiving one tonight. “Fuck that was loud.” She mumbled to herself before setting the mattress on the empty space in front of the coffee table. 

“You’re lucky Ling Ying had this lying around,” she said as she motioned for him to stand from the couch, to which he immediately obeyed. “She was planning on throwing it away but y’know how she is.” She made quick work of moving the cushions off, and Jamie went ahead and pulled the coffee table further away so the girl could pull out the bed frame built into the couch. 

The mention of another old friend had him perking up slightly. He wasn’t the closest to Ling Ying, but Jamie enjoyed the few conversations they had. “How’s she been?” He asked, genuinely curious. Last he heard of her, she was holed up in her apartment trying to finish her nursing program.

Sunwoo tapped her fingers against her thighs, lips forming the beginning of a sentence before zipping shut. Her tapping stopped as she sighed. “She works at a hospital a little further into the city, moved there ‘cuz of traffic. Couldn’t stand waking up in the morning just to be stuck on the freeway,” she said as she lifted up the mattress to place it on the frame. Jamie nodded, happy that the girl was doing well. “She’s dating Zyanya now.” Sunwoo added quietly, placing the fitted sheets on the bed. 

Out of everything that he could’ve found out, this surprised him the most. Ling Ying and Zyanya most likely met because Tala introduced the band to them — but that wasn’t the surprising part. “Are you?” He asked before trailing off, unable to find the right words.

She shrugged, knowing exactly what he wanted to ask. “Happened almost five years ago. I was going to tell you but whenever I thought it was a good time you were…it’s fine — really. She’s happy, Zyanya’s happy, we’re all happy.” The pillow she was holding was then thrown at the head of the bed, the soft thump akin to a weight dropping on glass. Jamie stared at it, contemplating. On one hand, he had known of Sunwoo’s small crush on the older girl — on the other hand, that had been about eight years ago. There was no reason for him to open old wounds that might’ve been closed long ago. She never talked about it before, she probably didn’t want him mentioning it now. 

Even then, the information ate at him more than it should’ve. Did he even know his friends anymore? Did they even think of him as a friend after years of radio silence on his end? Did they still want to see him?  “I think she’d be really happy to see you again,” Sunwoo said truthfully, not knowing ten simple words ceased the incessant buzzing in Jamie’s head almost instantly. “We all are.” 

There it was — hope. It should’ve made him happy to hear those words, and it did, but Jamie knew Sunwoo held onto the idea that her words would make him want to reconnect again. Reconnect with California, his friends, and who he used to be. He wasn’t going to entertain this, he wasn’t going to fill her head with false promises and fantasies. “I can’t wait.” He said simply, smiling. 

Sunwoo only stared, calculating. She straightened her back, deeming the newly made bed now complete. Her eyes moved from the bed back to him, and the look Jamie had seen in the taxi was once again projected onto her face. She was never good at hiding her emotions. “Okay,” she sighed, once again shaking off what she wanted to say. “Yeah…I’m gonna — I’ll head to bed now. Just knock on my door if you need anything.” With a small clap and a stiff smile, Sunwoo walked away to leave Jamie to his thoughts once again. 

It felt wrong to let the girl just walk away like that, Jamie knew they’d wake up the next morning and just move past…whatever all this was. So, now aware of the time and where he was, he called out. “Good night, Sunwoo.” He blurted as she walked past him. 

With a pause, she looked back from the doorway and nodded. The polite smile that was once on her face softened notably, like it wasn’t an obligation anymore. “Night Jamie.” With that, she disappeared into the hallway, the sound of a door clicking shut resonated throughout the apartment. 

Chapter Text

“I’m starting to feel like a kid going on vacation with his mom,” Jamie complained as he fiddled with the air conditioner in Sunwoo’s car. If there was anything he didn’t miss about California, it’d definitely be the hot summers. Although modern technology had blessed the world with conventional cooling systems, such as ACs, Jamie would only complain about being too cold at home. There never seemed to be a middle ground. “I just came from England, the least you could do is let me rest.” 

“It’s almost three in the afternoon,” Sunwoo replied as she took a sharp right turn in an attempt to beat the yellow light. Before he could register his own actions, his hand shot up to desperately grab at the handle above him, his body tensed as he attempted to calm his beating heart. “You didn’t even wake up until ten, how much more sleep do you need?” She asked before shaking her head – as if there wasn’t an entirely new timezone for him to adjust to. 

Falling asleep had been a challenge, as it always was, and Jamie wasn’t entirely sure how much sleep he’d gotten in the first place. Aside from the freezing temperatures Sunwoo left her apartment in, it seemed California wasn’t doing his insomnia any favors either. Worst of all, Jamie would say his insomnia had gotten better before his current vacation, so all the progress he’d made was effectively packed into his luggage and left behind somewhere at the airport. He spent almost the entirety of the eight hours of sleep he should have gotten tossing and turning, and occasionally scrolling on his phone out of desperation.

Maybe Jamie should have listened to his gut feeling and packed his medication. It’s not like he knew this would happen, he never found himself reaching for his pills whenever he travelled before. If it came down to it, though, he could just ask if Sunwoo had anything for him to take; if Sunwoo was the same person he knew as a teenager, the girl most definitely still had a terrible sleep schedule that she’d “fix” with her trusty bottle of melatonin. Once a gamer, always a gamer Jamie supposed. 

“Where are we going anyway?” He asked as he settled in his seat, the temperature set at a comfortable 74 degrees. Much better than the terrible 60 degrees Sunwoo had originally set for her car, he didn’t understand how the girl could even hold the steering wheel – his fingers were frozen! 

“Tala wanted to get something to eat before heading over to the venue. She thought it’d be nice to hang out with just the three of us for a bit, y’know?” 

Jamie paused, his eyes shifting before settling with looking out the window. “Yeah, cool. Sounds…fun.” If his hesitance sounded odd to Sunwoo, or if his excitement wasn’t convincing enough, she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she had let him stew in the odd feeling still sitting deep in his stomach – like milk left out on a warm day. 

Tala was - is his friend. Sure, communication between them after he left California wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t like they had any “bad blood” between them. Nor did he completely cut contact with the girl. Similar to Sunwoo, he had made sure he interacted with mostly everything she posted online. The occasional like and the even rarer comments…but he did text! Every January 11th, without fail, his phone would remind him to send her a happy birthday. 

One year, he had sent it the day after with the exclamation point missing from his text. 

He had blamed this on the fact that he was always busy in January — it was the first month of the year after all. This must’ve also been true for Tala, who had taken another day to respond to him with a simple, “thanks.” 

He fixated on her text for hours after that. Not the word, nor the response, but the period at the end. Tala wasn’t one for punctuation, she didn’t even capitalize the “T” in thanks, but she cared enough to add a simple dot at the end. It felt like something final – like a door gently closing. He did his best to move on as if something in their friendship hadn’t shifted, but it weighed heavy on his mind until now. 

Steadying himself, Jamie breathed in from his nose before exhaling slowly. Sunwoo’s car slowed down to turn the corner into a street lined with food trucks, folding chairs, and groups of people scattered about. The sun continued to beat down on them like a threat, and Jamie wished they had agreed to meet indoors. 

“You sure she’s here already?” He asked, squinting towards the shaded seating area.

“Of course she is, Tala wouldn’t be late to grab some food,” Sunwoo said as she pulled into an empty space. “You’ll see.”

And he did – just as they stepped out of her car. 

There, in the distance, sat Tala. She occupied a small picnic bench, her elbow resting on the table as she sipped at the drink in her other hand. Her phone laid screen up in front of her, the girl too lost in her thoughts to use the device. She was probably just waiting for them to text her of their arrival. 

“Tala!” Sunwoo yelled. She jogged towards the girl, pulling Jamie behind her. At the mention of her name, Tala was pulled away from whatever was clouding her mind as she turned her head, a smile on her face. Jamie scanned her from head to toe as they approached, his mind supplying him with an image of what the girl had looked like before his departure. She still sported the same neon blue and yellow hair, her clothes the perfect mix of casual and sporty, and she smiled as though she were greeting someone she saw just yesterday. 

Fun, inviting, and warm; the same Tala he knew, the same girl he pictured during their few interactions together. After the girls’ hug, Tala looked at him, the smile on her face never wavering. “Hey you,” she said softly before pulling him into a side hug. The hold wasn’t as tight as the one she had on Sunwoo; it was unsure, quick, and loose. It allowed Jamie to step away when he thought it was best. “You look tired.” She teased, focusing intensely on his face. 

Jamie chuckled. “That is definitely what I want to hear from someone after seven years.”

Seven years. Saying it out loud felt weird to him, it felt like he had spent no time away from California but laying out for everyone to deconstruct was different. Now, in front of his two friends, seven years felt like a lifetime. What had he even done with his life in those seven years anyway? Just as the looming cloud of uncertainty and self-destruction could swallow him whole, Tala cleared her throat.

“Well,” the girl started before motioning to the table. Jamie had completely missed the various foods and drinks that littered the surface, and just a quick glance was enough to remind him of his empty stomach. He had a sandwich before his flight and didn’t feel like eating the food offered during it, and on top of that he had woken up too late for breakfast. At the moment, all that mattered was shoveling his face with as much food as possible. “I was stalking your location so I got literally everything this place has to offer when you got closer. Food should still be warm, I got the usual.” 

The usual…oh. Looking around, Jamie finally realized where they were: the farmer’s market. Back when the three were struggling college students fresh out of high school, they’d put their earnings together to grab a couple of items from whatever truck caught their eye. It was always the highlight of Jamie’s week back then, as it distracted him from back to back failed auditions. 

Life had been tough, but one dollar tacos had always been with him every step of the way. 

Taking a seat on the wooden bench, Jamie took his time deciding where to dig in. Each container adorned flashy ads to help promote the small businesses, but from what he could see, the old vendors he’d been a regular to were nowhere to be seen. Oh well, he thought. Food was food, but as he went ahead and bit into the lumpia he’d grabbed, a part of him wished he still remembered what they had tasted like before. 

He wondered how the business was doing now. 

“So how’s life been?” Tala asked, sipping from the straw of her boba cup languidly. “Anything exciting?” 

He shrugged. “Nothin’ much,” he replied, reaching over to grab the boba cup that had his name written on it with a sharpie. Thai tea, his go-to…well, it used to be. Nowadays, he’d just get himself a simple milk tea; easy boba and easy on the sugar. The cafe near his house would have his drink ready the moment they saw his car pull in. It was a nice gesture, but something about it made him embarrassed. “I’ve been working a little more, hopin’ they’ll consider giving me a promotion.” 

Tala hummed, her eyes shifting from his eyes to the drink in his hand still untouched. Instead of taking his first sip, he’d been gently swaying the cup around to mix it. “Not feeling thai tea right now?” She teased lightheartedly. 

Shaking his head, Jamie set his drink down. “I guess I’m not as much of a sweets guy as before.” He said as he uncapped the water bottle next to him. The cold surface against his sweaty palms felt nice, he hoped the water for the rest of his visit wouldn’t get any hotter. 

Silence, something he found himself in a lot. Sunwoo, sensing the quiet withdrawal from both of her friends, forced the half chewn samosa down her throat. “The club!” She reminded them, her attention mostly on Tala. “God, Jamie, you’re gonna love tonight.” 

With her spirits renewed, Tala nodded. “Emira and her band are performing at First Light! You’re gonna walk in there and you won’t even believe it was the same dingy club we’d sneak into.” She said with a laugh. 

It’d been forever since Jamie even last thought about First Light. Despite its initial problems, the club was…charming. The bouncers were always barely legal college students who needed a quick buck, so they never bat an eye when it came to fake IDs. The first time he presented a fake ID, the cheap material bent with little to no resistance. Instead of picking Jamie up by the collar of his shirt and throwing him out, the man simply handed the bent card back to him and stepped to the side to let them in. 

“Is it still run by Mr. Chen?” He asked. 

Tala shook her head. “He retired like five years ago, but his daughter runs the place now. He comes by once in a while,” she drove her fork into a falafel on her plate, the crunch resonating. “He asks about you sometimes.” She mentioned casually, and although her bangs were long enough to cover her eyes, Jamie was able to catch her eyes quickly flicking to look at him before focusing on her food again. 

“Recently?” He asked, surprised. 

With a wave of her hand, Tala dismissed his question. “Last time he asked was probably three years ago, but he told us to let him know if you were ever back in town.” Jamie nodded, a tiny piece of himself overjoyed that Mr. Chen even cared about his well being — or even remembered him, at that. 

“The doors open in a couple of hours, we can check out the flea market until then? Up to you guys, we still have a ton of food left.” Tala said, going back to working on her half eaten platter. 

Whatever Sunwoo responded with fell on deaf ears. Jamie picked at his food, weighing in on his choices. He enjoyed the time he was having now, but it’d been ages since he stepped foot in an environment like a club.

He so badly wanted to blurt out an excuse — any excuse to get him out of his current situation. He could fake a stomach ache, use the poor excuse of extreme jet lag, maybe even use work as an easy way out. Before he could settle on something, Jamie looked up to see the excitement in his friends’ eyes as they talked about how happy they were to hang out like old times.

Suddenly, any reservations he had about what was to come had disappeared. It was a fight he knew he was going to lose. 

So, with the faintest of smiles, Jamie listened to the girls fill in the gaps of silence. He reached for his full cup of thai tea, taking a tentative sip. Sweet, as it always was — as it always would be. 

-

When the girls raved on and on about the club’s new look, Jamie assumed they finally fixed the lights and replaced the awful wallpaper that adorned the walls. 

Instead, as he walked into the building — Tala’s girlfriend privileges allowed them to skip the line that went out the door. A line. There used to never be a line — Jamie was bathed in bright reds, soft purples, and bold blues. A nice change from the blinding orange lights from before. 

This was far from the First Light he remembered. The bouncer was no longer a disinterested student, there was a bar with bartenders rushing around to serve the crowd, and they’d even upgraded the furniture. 

Taking everything in was difficult. The bustling environment and the lack of room was throwing him off. In his attempt to calm himself down by observing the renovated building, he had almost lost Sunwoo in the crowd. His body rattled uncomfortably to the bass of the speakers. He was too overwhelmed to even think, and it took everything in him to not reach out and place a hand on Sunwoo’s shoulder to use as a guide. 

This should’ve been cool — exciting. At one point, this place had been him. The music, the people, and the atmosphere; he used to move around the area with ease, his body moving to the music unapologetically. A wink there and teasing hands that allowed for people to crowd around him. He was, as he would say, the life of the party.

Tucking his hands into his pockets, Jamie made sure to keep his head low. That version of himself was nowhere to be found. All he was here for was to support a friend of a friend, nothing more. 

After what felt like an eternity in a sea of people, they finally reached the stage. Tala motioned them to follow her off to the side, where a designated area just for those personally invited by the band could stand. It wasn’t marked by anything specific, as the area was still filled with people dancing along, but the security at the front had asked for people to give space as the three approached. “Ling Ying!” The shortest girl of the trio yelled, her voice barely heard over the speakers. 

The girl in question looked up, a smile on her face as she watched the girl approach. Just as she was going to say her hellos, Ling Ying finally noticed Jamie trailing slowly from behind. Her face, once filled with joy, quickly snapped to one of surprise. “Jamie?” She asked, her arms still open to allow Tala to tackle her with a hug. “I didn’t — you’re here?” She stumbled over her words. 

When Tala finally let go of her, Ling Ying approached Jamie, the smile now back on her face once she was able to get a good look at him. “You look older.” she said with a laugh, and Jamie went ahead to give the older girl a small hug of his own. 

“And you haven’t changed a bit.” He chuckled, taking in Ling Ying’s features. Even after all these years, Ling Ying naturally radiated what he’d call, “big sister energy.” During his toughest times, the girl was always available to listen to his problems even though she was busy with her own. He rarely confided in her now as he believed he should be old enough to handle his own life, but he appreciated when she would check in on him every few months. 

“Really?” She asked, her eyebrow raised with a lighthearted mischief. “No new wrinkles? You don’t see any white hairs?” She asked as she moved her head to the side to let him get a better look at her. The lights of the club bounced off of her flawless skin, Jamie was sure Ling Ying was immortal. 

“You don’t look a day over twenty-six.” He teased, it was the age she had been before he left. She laughed again, lightly slapping his arm before turning to greet Sunwoo. 

Aside from Ling Ying, there were a couple of people in the private area he was unfamiliar with. Some conversed amongst themselves, a drink in their hands, but in the far corner, leaning against a guard rail, stood a dark haired man in a white jacket. He’d been looking at his phone, his body not even swaying to the music. Before Jamie could ask about him, he heard the music switch off. 

The lights dimmed, the overheard lights above the stage shining. The crowd cheered, the sound of screaming slowly fading as the sound of drums and a bass guitar played. Almost immediately, Jamie felt the people behind him shift, their bodies almost pressed against him. If he was uncomfortable before, then the feeling was only multiplied now. There was no escape, everyone too busy trying to get a better view of the stage. 

Smoke filled the stage, strobe lights coming to life to help rally the excitement. Jamie squinted, trying to keep up with everything happening. He wished he had taken his jacket off before, the feeling of the fabric sticking to his arms and back not helping with his struggle to remain calm. 

The stage curtains lifted, revealing four figures. Tala elbowed him, pure joy and admiration on her face. “That’s Emira!” She yelled as she pointed to the girl standing at the mic. Immediately, Jamie noticed the faded scar running across the girl’s face and over her nose. There was no way someone could look this cool. From her eyes to her hair — she looked like she came straight out of a game. 

Emira stood tall on stage, confidence radiating off of her. She was simply adjusting the mic, but even that felt professional, everything about her screamed star. Finally, with the ringing in his ears finally fading, Jamie could finally hear the song. 

“Tonight,” Emira’s voice echoed, the crowd cheering once again in support. “I wanna give it all to you…” 

The crowd behind him jumped to the beat, his body being tousled like a ragdoll. Realistically, he knew he looked out of place at the moment. While everyone danced and swayed to the music, he had planted his feet on the ground, his arms placed firmly at his side. Right now, all that mattered was not ruining the night by freaking out. 

“In the darkness, there’s so much I want to do,” 

He wasn’t expecting the first song to be ‘I Was Made For Lovin’ You’ by KISS, though he wasn’t all that surprised that this was the type of music the band would cover. He had once thought the song was ridiculous when he was younger, the explosive vocals and instruments playing on a crappy blown out speaker. It was a good song, don’t get him wrong, but it’d been overplayed. 

Jamie’s attention shifted towards the girl to Emira’s left. Purple highlights, dark clothes, and eyes that only seemed to be focused on one place — one person in particular. This must’ve been Ling Ying’s girlfriend, Zyanya. Despite the sharp look in her eyes, something that would’ve scared Jamie if he had met her before, there was an apparent happiness that filled it. She was exactly where she wanted to be. 

Comedically, dancing around to the left of Emira, bright green hair caught his attention. He looked much younger than his two bandmates, but he played as though it’d been engraved in him like a veteran. He couldn’t help but smile at the infectious member, but even then, a feeling of bitterness surfaced inside of him. He was young, probably in college, and he was happy doing what he loved. 

Swallowing his emotions, Jamie turned to focus on the last band member in the back. The lights weren't hitting them as brightly as the other three, and Jamie squinted to try and make out any sort of distinctive feature on them. 

Then, as if his prayers had been answered, a single light finally fell on the drummer. It was cinematic, almost dramatically so. The spotlight had moved around as if they were trying to find their target, before zeroing in on them with a deafening click, the drummer’s solo shaking the entire room. 

Jamie felt his smile drop almost instantly, the remnants of his bitterness replaced by a crushing fear. The beat of the drums stood no match to the rapid beat of his heart. If it hadn’t been for the people behind him, he would’ve stumbled back. 

Because there — lost in their own world, a content smirk on his face — sat the one person he had run away from seven years ago. 

The very reason he never returned to California: 

His ex-boyfriend, Ryo Kiritani. 

Chapter Text

The alley door clicked behind him, the sound echoing. Cold air rushed past him, and only then did Jamie realize how suffocating it had been inside.  

He panted, hoping Tala and Sunwoo wouldn’t follow him out as well.

With his back against the wall, Jamie felt the bass from the speakers vibrate throughout his body, reminding him of where exactly he was. He willed his breathing to calm down, focusing on anything but his current problem: the faint chirps of crickets, the sound of traffic, and the hum of the neon light signs hanging above him. 

For a moment, Jamie could pretend everything was alright. 

The tremor in his hands had finally calmed and his heart no longer pounded unrelentingly. His thoughts had quickly begun to remind him of his place in the crowd. He probably looked out of place amidst excited fans and hyperactive drunks; he had stood almost frozen where he stood, his head bouncing and foot tapping to the beat occasionally. 

Despite his now clear mind, Jamie couldn’t help but pace. “Fuck.” He muttered under his breath, his thoughts running wild once again. “God this is so dumb.” He groaned, his pacing coming to an end as he took to lean against the wall across from the door. 

He couldn’t believe that just beyond that door was Ryo Kiritani himself. 

Worst of all, he had no one to confide in. The only other person that had any idea of their history lived in England, and she had made it very clear she wasn’t going to answer his texts or calls during his well-deserved vacation, as she put it.

During their relationship, Jamie had made it very clear that he wasn’t ready to tell his friends yet, and Ryo never pushed. Surprisingly enough, Sunwoo and Tala weren’t even aware they even knew each other. 

Ryo went to a completely different high school, but one day, out of sheer destiny or happenstance, Jamie had bumped into the other man after taking a different route back home after school. 

It’d been a sunny day, and Sunwoo wasn’t there to walk home with him since she’d been sick. So, to reward himself after an extremely boring day at school, Jamie decided to check out the vinyl shop he had stumbled upon from an ad he saw online. 

At the time, he was a proud owner of a record player, but the shelf he built next to it had stayed barren for months — save for his favorite Damien Rice vinyl he had yet to even take out of the plastic. 

Initially, Jamie was already set on what vinyls he wanted to buy if the store had them. In and out, that was the plan. 

Instead, he found himself contemplating his purchase for what felt like decades; one hand held Keaton Henson’s debut album ‘Dear’ and the other holding Florence and the Machine’s ‘Lungs.’ Deep in thought, Jamie was unaware that someone was standing next to him, watching as he stared at the two records without even so much of a blink. 

“Lungs is good.” Were Ryo’s first words, cutting through the air like a knife. Jamie flinched, his attention ripped away from his impossible choice to the stranger who simply watched him with a cheeky grin, a couple of vinyls held against him protectively. 

Jamie exhaled, coming down from the shock.

“Do you like givin’ people heart attacks?” He asked, his question met with a small laugh. 

“Just wanted to help,” the stranger said before offering his hand. “Ryo, by the way.” Jamie simply stared before realizing Ryo was waiting for him to shake his hand. 

“Jamie.” He replied with a nod, pulling his hand away. At the time, Ryo was probably one of the coolest people Jamie had ever seen. His high school was filled to the brim with students who probably wished they had ended up in a private school. Their heads held high and clothes always pristine. 

Here in front of him was a boy his age with dyed hair and piercings that glimmered under the soft lights of the store. Ryo, who wore chains and had the darkest liner lining his eyes, stood next to him with a smile that pulled Jamie in. 

“Well, Jamie,” Ryo continued before motioning to the vinyls. “I still think you should get Lungs. It’s the better album.” 

That’s all it took before both of them proceeded to get into a heated argument about Keaton Henson’s release. Ryo called it a self-loathing snooze fest while Jamie went on to defend the album with his life. 

When he had settled on just buying both, Ryo told him he should give Radiohead a try since, in his own words, it was the same sort of self loathing that wouldn’t put the population to sleep — and they were British. Something Ryo had added teasingly before telling Jamie he liked his accent.

Jamie, who was an extremely curious and questioning seventeen year old, almost fell in love right then and there. 

He was also a hell of a lot more confident then than he was now, so Jamie quickly spun the spotlight on Ryo and told him he had pretty eyes. The moment Jamie saw the tips of Ryo’s ears turn red he knew he had a chance. 

That had been their spot. Somewhere they could meet after school and talk for hours about music, their lives, and whatever else came to mind. No one Jamie knew was aware of it.

That’s what the club should’ve been for Jamie and his friends. When Ryo asked about his whereabouts Jamie would tell him it was a secret (and that he, of course, wasn’t cheating on him) and Ryo never pushed to know.

Well, Jamie knew Ryo probably wasn’t to blame for this. Emira was dating Tala after all, the girl most likely told the singer about the club in hopes they could both share and fix the place. Ryo was just there because he had to be. He was part of the band. Jamie just wished he’d ended up in literally any other band. 

Hidden beneath his frustrations and anger, Jamie knew that this was the path Ryo was destined to take. No one in Jamie’s life was even half of the musician Ryo was, he put his blood, sweat, and tears into drumming — so if anyone was going to be part of an insanely successful band, it was going to be him. 

Exhaling once more, Jamie tilted his head up to take a look at the darkening sky. It was getting late, he could probably just tell Tala and Sunwoo he wasn’t feeling well. He could call an Uber and spend the rest of his night rotting on Sunwoo’s couch. If he slipped away now, then in the off chance that Ryo did see him in the crowd, his disappearance would just seem like an odd sighting. Nothing more. 

Lost in thought, Jamie was barely able to process the door to the alley creaking open. He sighed, eyes still on the sky. He’d told them he was going to the bathroom — they shouldn’t have seen him slip out the back. No use in complaining now, he knew what he needed to say. “I just really need to be alone right now—“

“I thought I saw you in the crowd.”

It felt as if someone had poured a cold bucket of water on his head. Wide eyed, Jamie’s head slowly turned. 

Leaning against the doorframe was the one person he was preparing to run from. Someone Jamie knew he couldn’t mistake for anyone else. The same dark hair and blue streak dyed into his bangs, the same smirk tugging at his mouth. Faux leather jacket. Loose techwear pants. As if the last seven years hadn’t happened at all. 

“Ryo.” He breathed, the name felt like it’d been stuck in his throat. 

Said man tilted his head slightly, like a pet getting curious. In another universe, maybe the same one he was in now, Jamie would’ve melted at the sight. “You look good.” Ryo said, his tone teasing. 

For just a moment, as he stared at the familiar face in front of him, Jamie felt as if he'd been transported back to his early 20s. Ryo hadn’t changed a bit since he left, and something about that should’ve comforted him. Instead, it made his chest ache. “What’re you doing here?” Jamie asked.

The shorter man chuckled, bright lights illuminating off his face. Jamie caught himself staring at the curve of his cheek and slight upturn of his lips. Just as he remembered it. “I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be here,” Ryo responded before motioning to himself with his hands. “I’m part of the band y’know?”

Suddenly, like a TV switching to the next channel, Jamie rolled his eyes. The dread he felt about this moment vanished in favor of something sharper — meaner. “You know what I meant,” he snapped, eyes glaring holes at the other man. “What’re you doing out here? Missed me so badly you had to see me?” He had no clue as to why he was being so hostile, and he couldn’t blame it on the one beer he had the entire day. 

The petty question was meant with silence, Ryo’s signature smile never once wavering as he just took the entire situation in. Jamie felt exposed, the other man’s eyes sharp and unreadable. Whatever he was thinking, Jamie couldn’t decipher. 

Instead, he just shook his head, a small sigh leaving his lips. “I don’t need this from you right now,” he said as he reached into his back pocket to fetch a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “I just thought I’d catch up with an old friend, nothin’ wrong with that.” 

Ryo walked to the wall Jamie was leaning against, making sure there was an appropriate amount of space between the two of them. Before he could light up the cigarette between his lips, he offered the open pack to Jamie, who only stared. Just as Ryo was about to pocket the cigarettes, Jamie moved to grab one. He watched as shock blossomed on the other’s face before quickly transitioning into a small huff of laughter. 

“Smoking’s bad for your lungs,” Ryo mumbled, cigarette still between his lips. He shoved the pack in his jacket pocket before bringing his lighter up to his lips, his movements never faltering once. Jamie watched him take a long drag before removing the cigarette from his mouth and exhaling. “You should know that.” He finished, and Jamie wasn’t sure if the man was teasing him. 

Before they broke up, Jamie hated that Ryo smoked almost everyday. Especially as someone whose entire career centered around his voice, Jamie constantly berated the other man for smoking on their balcony and always forgetting to close the glass door. Whenever Ryo would apologize, a fond yet teasing smile on his face, Jamie would remind him that the smoke was bad for his lungs. It wasn’t until a small argument did Ryo take his bad habits outside and away from their shared apartment. 

Ignoring the jab, Jamie scoffed. “Friend.” He repeated. He was over their relationship, but something about the word left an odd aftertaste. Instead of dwelling on this, Jamie reached over to grab the lighter from Ryo’s open palm and began lighting his own cigarette with less elegance. Whatever, how he did it didn’t matter, just as long as he got to replace the bitterness inside of him with the fumes.

“Sorry, I just wanted to catch up with my ex-boyfriend who I haven’t seen in seven years,” the man corrected himself, putting his lighter away once Jamie handed it back to him. “Does that sound better?”

“Whatever.” Jamie mumbled, choosing to once again ignore the other man’s attitude. It’s not like he asked him to say it out loud, Ryo had just done it to be an asshole. He was almost sure he hadn’t sounded bitter when he had said the offending word. 

The silence stretched out between them, the sounds inside the club sounding farther and farther away as the two basked in each other’s company. Before Jamie could slip away and call a cab like he hoped, Ryo spoke. “How’ve you been?” He asked, now finally looking at Jamie. 

Jamie scoffed. “What’s with the small talk?” 

“Can’t a man be interested in other people’s lives?” Ryo answered, hands raised in surrender before stuffing them into his jacket pockets. 

The response wasn’t immediate. Instead, Jamie just stared. Searching. For what, he didn’t know. Maybe a crack in the facade Ryo had put up — maybe a flicker of regret in his eyes. Anything beyond the mild amusement. 

“Life’s been how I always hoped it’d be,” Jamie stated matter-of-factly, his eyes still subtly looking to the side in hopes of catching any sort of reaction. “Got a good job, a nice place. More money than I could’ve ever imagined. Been livin’ the dream.” Instead of a crass comment or fiery stare, Ryo just nodded. 

“That’s nice,” he said, smoke erupting from his mouth at the words. “Living a dream.” 

Jamie’s jaw tensed. “Don’t be a fuckin’ dick.”

“I didn’t even say anything.” He challenged, the smile he’d been forcing replaced with neither a frown nor a scowl. Jamie hated it — hated that he still couldn’t tell what the man was thinking. 

“I’m happy with my life,” he bit out in hopes to defend himself, not really sure what it was he was defending, only knowing he needed to explain. “I’ve got more than I could ever ask for and I’m doing better than when I—“ Jamie stopped.

When I was still with you. 

Ryo didn’t flinch. Didn’t say a word. But something in his face had shifted. Jamie just couldn’t tell what. 

“What is wrong with you?” Ryo spat, tension cracking through his voice for the first time. “I came out here to say hi and you wanna be on my ass about nothing?” 

“I know why you’re here!” 

His voice echoed down the alley. Jamie flinched at the sound, hoping no one around the premises heard him. With how loud the music was, he was surprised he could even hear Ryo at times. 

Still, Jamie made sure to lower his voice. 

“You’re here ‘cuz you wanna get in my head. Get me to admit I hate my life or something, but fuck that,” He spat, venom dripping from every syllable. “I know how you are.”

No speedy reply or witty joke came from Ryo. The man just continued to glare, still leaning against the wall as if he wasn’t being yelled at. Cool and uncaring, just as he had always been. “If that’s what you wanna think,” he said, taking another drag of his cigarette before letting it fall from his fingers. “Then I won’t change your mind.” As he walked over to the door, Ryo made sure to step on his cigarette, stomping the flame away. 

“I’ll see you around.” He said, not waiting for Jamie’s reply. The door creaked open then slammed shut behind him, leaving Jamie with only the sound of his heavy breathing. 

The smell of smoke clung to him like a lifeline, his body unable to process what had just happened. 

Jamie eyed the burnt out bud laying on the floor, the imprint of Ryo’s shoes staring back at him. Faintly, the club’s lights leaked from under the door, his heart beating in time with the music from inside. 

Still, Jamie stood there — the cigarette between his fingers already gone out. 

-

“Where were you!” Tala shouted, pulling on Jamie’s arm as he approached the bar. Ling Ying, who’d been with the trio since the beginning of the band’s performance, was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’d Ling Ying go?” He asked, ignoring Tala’s question and reaching for the drink Sunwoo set down.

Instead of pressing him for answers, Tala excitedly set her drink down. “She’s backstage with the band! I told her she could go without us since we were waiting for you. I wanted to introduce you to Emira!” 

Jamie froze, the cup in his hand stopped midway from his mouth. “What?” 

“I’ve talked about you so much it’s crazy to think you guys don’t know each other!” She joked, still not catching on to Jamie’s discomfort. “She knows literally everything about you and you know everything about her, you guys are practically best friends.” 

“Everything?” He mumbled before taking a long sip of Sunwoo’s drink. At the taste of the fruity beverage, Jamie made a face. 

“Sex on the beach,” Sunwoo said as she reached for her cup back. “We used to order these all the time. Still my favorite.” She threw her head back as she drank the last few sips of what was in her glass. She licked her lips, satisfied, and set her cup on the counter.

“I remember,” he replied with a laugh at the girl’s antics. Faintly, as he ran his tongue against the back of his teeth, Jamie could still taste the traces of peaches and orange juice. He never put too much vodka in his drink, satisfied with the fruity flavors. Sometimes, when his friends were distracted, he’d ask the bartender to add extra peach schnapps. “Drank ‘em so much I can’t even stomach them anymore.” 

He didn’t get much of a reaction in return, Sunwoo simply smiling as she swirled the empty cup in her hand, the ice cubes melting slowly. “Is that so?” She muttered to herself, Jamie not catching her words. 

Before he could ask, Tala tugged both of their arms. “Cmon!” She said, ignoring both of their protests. “They’ve been waiting for us!” The three of them pushed through the crowd quickly, Tala stopping occasionally to greet her friends or any regulars she recognized. 

Finally, with their clothes wrinkled and hair disheveled, they found themselves standing in front of a door with a single gold star etched into it. Jamie’s face reflected off of it, and he could see just how sweaty he was after their effort to push through the sea of people. 

Instead of knocking out announcing their arrival, Tala burst through the doors, the sound of it hitting the wall catching the attention of everyone already in the room. 

The first thing Jamie had done once inside the changing room wasn’t to cover his eyes in case Tala had barged in on an awkward situation, but to scan the room in search for the color blue. 

From where he was standing, Ryo was nowhere to be found.

Jamie let go of the breath he’d been holding in, now letting Tala drag him into the room without any complaints. Leading him straight to her girlfriend, who sat on one of the chairs facing the vanity mirror. The makeup she wore on stage slightly faded, she was probably in the middle of wiping it all off. Only the smokey look around her eyes remained. 

Squealing in excitement, Tala grabbed both his and Emira’s hands to manually shake them herself. “My worlds are colliding! I’m so happy you guys are finally meeting.” 

Chuckling, Emira gently stopped her girlfriend from forcing their handshake and instead interlocked their hands together. Jamie smiled at the gesture, his arms finally by his side. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” the vocalist said before gesturing to her other members with the flick of her head. There, Ling Ying was lounging on the couch with her girlfriend. “You know Zyanya as well, I’m guessing. She’s a little tired right now but she’ll ease up in a minute.”

Before she could continue her introductions, a flash of green hair entered their peripheral. “And I’m Mateo!” He cheered, holding up a fist for Jamie, who returned it with a hesitant little bump of his own. “It’s nice to meet you man! Tala’s been talking about this day forever. I love a good reunion!” 

Mateo’s energy nearly overwhelmed him, but Jamie couldn’t help but smile at the youthful innocence radiating off of the younger man. 

“And!” Mateo added, not letting Jamie offer a greeting of his own or just a few words. He walked across the room to where another young man stood, leaning against the wall. It was the same person he had seen earlier in the crowd. Mateo grabbed him, dragging him to where the trio was watching him. “This is Zhao Yu! He isn’t part of the band but you’ll always see him around.” He said, struggling to pull his friend towards them. 

Emira chuckled deeply before leaning towards Jamie. 

“They’re dating but they don’t wanna say it out loud,” she whispered, a sly smirk on her face. As amusing as it sounded, Jamie wondered if this was a secret she was allowed to tell. “Makes ‘em embarrassed, y’know how guys are at their age.”

He definitely knew how guys were at that age. Jamie and Ryo were once in their place. Though, they hid their relations a little better than the two men playfully shoving each other.  

“We have one more member but Ryo headed out early. Don’t worry, you’ll meet each other soon,” Emira said as she leaned back against her high chair. “You’ll be there for the rest of the countdown, right?” 

Confused, Jamie looked over at Tala who just smiled nervously.

“Well,” she began, dragging out the word as she tried to find the words to explain the current situation. “I thought I mentioned this was a concert countdown!” 

“A what?” Jamie remarked, still not understanding what was happening. 

“They’re having a huge concert in a couple of weeks and wanted to hype up the crowd! So they’ll be here like — every week performing,” sending his mood, Tala quickly tried to defuse their predicament. “It’s not everyday of course! Maybe like three times a week until then.” 

Jamie didn’t care about having to go and support Trail of Fears every week. The real problem was seeing Ryo, and he couldn’t even tell Tala or Sunwoo about it. 

Feeling a droplet of sweat race down his face, Jamie attempted to remain calm. He couldn’t show his distaste, it would only draw attention which would force him to explain…everything. So, with a nervous smile, Jamie nodded.

“No, that's great,” he stuttered. “Can’t wait to see what else you guys got.” 

Satisfied, Tala just nodded before launching into how amazing the band’s performances are. With his attention focused on his friend rambling, as well as the dread of having to see Ryo again, Emira’s lingering gaze went unnoticed. 

It was just a couple of weeks, no big deal. Jamie could remain civil until then.

But could Ryo?