Chapter Text
Dean woke with a start, an ache in his back and he had to pee. Dean groggily walked to his bathroom, he looked at his reception and paused. This wasn't his bathroom. This was Castiel's bathroom. He stayed the night. Dean finished in the bathroom and found a bottle of aspirin with a glass of water along with his phone that was plugged into a charger. Dean swallowed the pills and sent Sam a text. He sat down, he had to process before he searched for Cas. Last time he stayed with someone they promised a lot of things and then cuffed him. Dean was breathing heavily. He needed to find Castiel. Dean lifted himself off the bed and walked towards the kitchen.
He was trying to breathe as he walked. He had stayed the night before. Why was today so different, why did it hit the softer parts today? Why couldn't he get it to calm down?
He turned the corner to find Castiel making breakfast. Castiel smiled and offered Dean a cup of coffee. Dean padded his way over to Castiel. Cas handed it to him, with a kiss to his temple.
"Sit, food will be just a second." Dean was still hazy with soft sub space at the edges of his mind. Dean drinks as he watches Cas move about his kitchen. Dean empties his cup and stands but Cas sends him a look.
"Sit, I've got you pretty boy." Cas once again lays a kiss onto Dean's temple. Dean leans into Cas with a content sigh. As if given permission to rest. Cas makes small talk and serves Dean food. Dean pushes the food around till Cas actually sits down to eat. Cas opts to sit right beside Dean, noticing that Dean who normally inhales food is just pushing it around his plate.
"Eat pup. Please" Cas brushes his knuckles against Dean's. Dean nods, the tips of his ears turning pink, he starts to eat. Castiel pushed small talk. Sport teams, cars, although Dean doesn't engage much. Just leaning into Castiel. Choosing to keep the Dom in his arms length. Keeping a knee or hand pressed against him. Castiel started to wash the dishes, pushing Dean to go sit down on his couch. To relax. Dean did as asked, leaning into the haze and comfortable commands that Castiel seemed to give without thought. Dean didn't need to think about it, but he did. The way that Castiel seemed so good. Almost too good. He didn't ask for more. He didn't do anything that Dean didn't want. Dean had received everything he could have wanted from the dom. Sure Dean wasn't used to being held like he was glass. Dean just nodded along to Castiel talk about the movie playing. Dean lost himself to his thoughts. When was the last time that Dean was able to relax. Never. There was always something lurking. Dean had tried to calm down. What if Castiel was just waiting to use Dean's relaxation against him.
"Dean?" Castiel calls out softly. Dean who has been keeping their bodies connected had pulled away. Castiel reached out for his hand. Dean pulled into himself further. He retracted and started to make excuses about how he just needed space. Castiel nods. He excuses himself under the guise of needing to get a drink. He offered to grab Dean a drink. Dean paused and for just a second he lapsed back into the haze. Castiel returns and Dean brings their knees back to touching. Dean thanks Cas for the Drink. Cas nods. He goes to touch Dean a little more but stops. He allows for space.
Dean panics worse. He asked for space and received it. He is sure that Cass hates him now. Dean doesn't move physically. He starts to pull away mentally. He doesn't even have to try, it's habit, instinct to protect himself. He swore that after the last one that he wouldn't find another relationship.
But then what was he doing? He wanted to use the dom he now wanted to curl into. This was supposed to be a one night stand. Dean didn't need a dom. He didn't need this comfort he had be given. He didn't need this comfort he had be given. He didn't need some man to make him breakfast. He didn't need to sit down and rest.
It wasn't anger that settled in his chest. But every soft touch was making Daan angry. Dean grimicee. He wasn't angry. What was there to be angry about? That it has took this long to find someone to hold him? Dean didn't need it. Who was Castiel trying to fool. He wouldn't bend because the man fucked good and then made breakfast. Dean had listened to the soft commands. Each one felt like a tether. Dean wanted to scream. Why was he letting this one bother him. Why did it bother him. Sure maybe Castiel was the first one to try and center him. He wasn't being treated like he was just a hole to fuck and that made Castiel different. Different was dangerous. Dean wanted this little domestic shit would stop. Why would he keep someone that obviously deserved more than him. Dean looked at Castiel and froze. Castiel was looking at him. But this wasn't an emotion that Dean could place.
Castiel could feel the sun doing mental gymnastics besides him. Castiel wanted to reach out and thank Dean against him. Dean looked at Castiel as if he was waiting.
Dean pulled out his phone. Castiel had turned on another movie. Dean smiled and talked through hard eyes. Like he was forcing himself to not be something Cas was sure he wanted no part of yet.
Dean's phone dinged and Dean was fast to look at it. Castiel tried to pull himself out of the thoughts that it was another dom that Dean was texting. Maybe selfish to hope he was the only one that Dean was talking to. Dean's face though didn't make the man feel secure.
"That's my boss." Dean's explanation was a relief. But not really. Dean had the day off, had told Castiel he was taking the day off specifically. So he hummed. Dean was running, he bet and he wasn't a betting man. Dean was running away from this. Castiel would just show Dean support. That he was there. "Said he got swamped and needs me to come in.", Dean couldn't meet Castiel's eyes. Castiel hummed. He kept his voice and face neutral.
"Well if you are sure are okay. I'm not gonna stop you. Text me when you get to work?" Dean agreed. He picked himself off the couch and Castiel followed him. Before Castiel let Dean get into his side of the car, he kissed Dean, pushing him against the door. Pulling Dean into a claiming kiss. Pushing into his mouth, and Dean melted just a little. Castiel broke away and opened the door for him. The ride to Dean's apartment was quiet, but not sufficating.
Dean let Castiel hold his hands. The dom was trying to ground himself. He pulled into the parking lot. Dean went to get out, paused and turned to Castiel. He kissed him, as if Castiel would disappear or like maybe he was apart of a dream. Cass cupped Dean's face, supporting the submissive as much as thean would let him. Dean pulled away and looked at Cass. Dean's eyes held sorrow. As if he was regretting that he was leaving Castiel now.
He turned towards the apartment, waving to Castiel. Dean hopped into the shower, trying to wash away his night and early morning. He got dressed and was headed towards the shop. He wanted to clear his head.
He texted Castiel as promised that he had made it and plugged his head phones in. Dean whipped through what he had begged Rufas for. Stopping only to look at his phone afterwards
Lunch wasn't fancy, sandwiches,water and some chips that Rufas threw at his head. He answered Sam's questions as briefly as he could, then a message from Castiel stopped Dean, almost coughing. Castiel's text read, but unanswered.
'Having tears, would love you joining me. Door will be unlocked. Let me know.'
Dean set his phone down and went back to work, trying to breathe. Diner afterwards? Surely Castiel wanted something more from Dean. Dean was just unsure what he wanted and that was the danger Dean had to figure out.