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Chapter Text

Cloud Recesses, 29 years ago

Lan Wangji was six when his mother died. He didn’t shed a tear, not that he wasn’t allowed to, he just couldn’t. He can’t blame his younger self. Back then, he didn’t really understand what was going on, and the explanations from his brother and uncle weren’t exactly good either. Everything was described to him in a vague manner of metaphors, which still didn’t tell Lan Wangji why exactly he wasn’t allowed to, no, able to visit his mother anymore.

“A-Zhan, mother had to go… elsewhere. She couldn’t stay here anymore.” his brother told him one day.

Why? Did mother no longer like him?

She always seemed happy when he visited her every month, or at least whenever he was allowed to. Later on, Lan Wangji learned that this wouldn’t be the last time he’d hear the words “allowed to”, or rather “not allowed to”. He wasn’t allowed to express emotions too much, walk too slowly, or quickly, but most importantly, he wasn’t allowed to love too much.

His uncle never failed to remind him of what killed his mother, what made her take her own life.

“Your father loved too deeply. I am not even sure whether you could have called it “love”. It was an obsession. Your Father never recovered from this sickness … Do not make the same mistake he did.” his uncle told him one morning. 

He never forgot to mention the monster Lan Wangji’s father had become. Lan Wangji always wondered if it was the truth.

Had his father really become a monster? Maybe he had certain reasons to act the way he did. Would he act the same if his beloved faced the punishment his mother did?

Lan Wangji knew it was no use thinking about a situation which hadn’t even happened. If he were to spend his whole life thinking about hypothetical scenarios, he wouldn’t get anywhere. No, he didn’t have the expense to think about the past or the future. He had to live now.

Cloud Recesses, the present

Lan Wangji woke up to rainy weather, raindrops hitting the ground, and grey clouds covering the sky. His life had been filled with numerous rules from the moment he was born. Lan Wangji didn’t mind it, he liked the simplicity of it. Every day was the same, he didn’t have to prepare himself for any sudden surprises. He got up, washed his face, clothed himself, and meditated for the remainder of the time. When it was time for breakfast, he picked up an umbrella to shield himself from the rain and headed to the kitchen.

“Where is my spouse's meal?” Lan Wangji asked one of the servants after arriving to the kitchen.

“Ah, good morning, Hanguang-Jun. Right here.” the servant said, bowing before picking up the serving tray full of food, clearly distinguished by the small bottle full of chilli oil.

Lan Wangji nodded, picking up the tray in one hand and holding the umbrella in the other as he exited the building. Lan Wangji held his head high, his eyes looking forward as he stepped onto the all too familiar path he had walked when he was young. He didn’t need to look, he knew exactly where he was going. Lan Wangji smiled to himself, a bundle of excitement filling up his lungs, making it just a bit harder to breathe. The gloomy weather played no role in his mood. For once in his life, Lan Wangji was grateful for being alive. All the previous years of suffering through endless nights, knowing his beloved no longer walked the earth, seemed worth it now. His beloved was the sun, and Lan Wangji selfishly basked in its light.

After a few minutes of walking, he stopped at the entrance of the building previously occupied by his mother. The gentians surrounding the house, which Lan Wangji remembered from his childhood, were no longer there. His mother had passed away long ago, there was no reason for them to be here. They had simply withered away until not even a trace of them could be found. Lan Wangji briefly wondered whether his beloved would like to have a garden of flowers here as well. He wouldn’t want him to plant them on his own, of course. Lan Wangji would do it for him. He wouldn’t want his beloved to dirty his hands or, worse, injure himself. He knew he was selfish, but Lan Wangji couldn't afford to endanger him. His beloved was too precious for that.

Lan Wangji put down his umbrella and knocked on the door exactly three times, just as he had done every day since his beloved was returned to him and safely hidden away from the prying eyes of others. When Lan Wangji received no answer after a few seconds, he opened the door. He knew his beloved wasn’t going to answer him, he never did. Lan Wangji didn’t mind, he kept telling himself that the answer would come one day. He was sure of it.

He opened the door and closed it immediately after. His beloved couldn’t afford to catch a cold from today’s weather, his condition was already not ideal. Lan Wangji walked over to the table in the main living area and put down the tray of food. Just moments after, his eyes met those of his beloved. Lan Wangji’s life was filled with the rays of sunshine from his sun once again. Despite Lan Wangji’s emotions of happiness, his beloved did not smile, not even for a second.

His skin was pale, his eyes lacked colour, his face showed no emotion, and his body simply sat slouched on the floor in the corner of the room. Others may have mistaken him for a ghost, but Lan Wangji knew his beloved was alive, he made sure of it every day. His beloved wasn’t allowed near any sharp objects or any other items he might attempt to harm himself with. Despite his beloved’s daily protests, Lan Wangji knew he had to keep him confined here. He did everything he thought was right for him. Lan Wangji didn’t like using force, but sometimes he had to. In the end, he couldn’t afford to lose his beloved ever again.

Lan Wangji sat down at the table. He picked up the chopsticks on the tray and tasted a bit of each dish prepared for his beloved. When he was sure none of them were poisoned, he picked them up from the tray and carefully arranged them on the table, just as he did any other day. Lan Wangji was satisfied with the result. He knew that none of the servants would dare to even try harming his beloved in any way, but Lan Wangji also knew never to trust anyone but himself with anything concerning his beloved.

“Wei Ying, come eat.” he said, at last.

Chapter Text

If someone asked Wei Ying whether he was happy, he’d answer that, yes, he had been, once. He had been happy in a life that did not exist now. All of his memories of it seemed like a dream. Sometimes he’d stare into a wall for hours on end, and try to remember as many of them as possible. Some were filled with laughter, while others with sorrow that burnt through Wei Ying’s heart, but nevertheless, they were his.

His to remember, his to fall asleep to and dream about, and his to forget. They were pretty much the only things Wei Ying owned, the only things he could say were his. Because as soon as he got thrown into this building devoid of anything reminiscent of something one would call “home”, he quickly noticed that nothing truly belonged to him.

When he awoke in this new “home” for the first time after recovering from whatever drug he was given, he was gifted multiple sets of robes, sweet treats, and jewellery, but none of it was truly Wei Ying’s. The robes were white, lacking to indicate even a hint that they belonged to him. He despised wearing them, but it was better than catching a cold whenever his body even came into contact with a bit of the cold air from outside. Wei Ying wasn’t proud of how his body was prone to sickness.

To be truthful, he didn’t even understand why. Maybe the previous owner of this body had already been suffering, thanks to the ridiculously weak immune system, through this his whole life? Maybe it was the fact that he was locked up in the same building for the past few months, or maybe he was being given something which kept his body weak without his knowledge? Wei Ying wasn’t sure, and his gut was telling him that if he asked, he wouldn’t receive a truthful answer anyway.

The sweet treats couldn’t even be called "sweet", more like bland pieces of something which tried to resemble candy with a hint of honey aftertaste. The pretty bracelets and rings were the only things Wei Ying didn’t truly hate. They were decorated with shiny red gems and were undoubtedly expensive. Despite this, he didn’t want them. Why would he accept gifts from someone who forcefully imprisoned him and forced him to live in this condemned space? Maybe he could sell them after escaping from this prison? But those were just wishful words, Wei Ying knew it wasn’t possible, at least not now. With the state of his body and the number of rules he had to follow daily, Wei Ying doubted he’d escape any time soon.

He wasn’t even sure whether someone would help him if he somehow got out. Was his true identity disclosed to someone? Would they even care to free him? They’d likely think Wei Ying deserved it, but a free life full of hatred is still better than the one he has now. Most people wouldn’t consider him a prisoner. He had been given everything a human being could possibly need in order for them to live a fulfilling life - shelter, food, medicine, clothes, and even unnecessary luxuries such as scented bath oils, hairpins, and other ornaments. Despite this, Wei Ying didn’t feel free, he wouldn’t say he even felt alive anymore. It seemed like his soul and body were floating in an endless state of emptiness - not completely dead, but not alive either.

There was only one person who was allowed to see Wei Ying (with the exception of the healers). He once admired him. Despite the cold personality he showed everyone, Wei Ying had always known it wasn’t all true. He was the most righteous man he'd ever met. Wei Ying was certain that a soul this kind could never do any wrong. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Wei Ying’s thoughts were quickly interrupted as he was called to come sit down at the table and eat. As much as he didn’t want to, he had learned from previous experience that it was better for him to do as he was told rather than being forced to eat just to throw up shortly after. So he slowly got up and, after a few steps, sat down at the table.

“This again? You’ve brought me the same bland food for ten days in a row.” Wei Ying said, already dismissing even a bit of enjoyment he might get from eating this meal.

“The physician told me it would help your body heal more quickly.”

“The physician probably said it to stop you from asking any more questions about my health.”

When Lan Wangji didn’t say anything, Wei Ying distastefully brought a piece of vegetable into his mouth and started to chew. Lan Wangji never ate anything when he was visiting Wei Ying. He just stared at him eating, as if it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. Wei Ying had always felt like an animal in these moments, caged somewhere just for someone to come and gawk at him. Maybe that is all he was, just something pretty to own and look at, locked up somewhere, only for Lan Wangji to see and admire.

When Wei Ying couldn’t stomach any more food, he put down the chopsticks and drank a dose of whatever medicine he was given this time. Just seconds after, he reached for the nearest blanket and wrapped himself in it. The medicine always made him feel sleepy. Wei Ying’s body abruptly woke up, abandoning any remaining signs of sleepiness, when he felt a cold hand touch his left cheek.

“Don’t touch me!” he yelled, trying to stand up as quickly as possible and retreat into the corner of the room where he felt at least a bit safer.

But as soon as Wei Ying stood up, his vision became blurry and his brain clouded with fog. Why did he stand up again? Never mind, he had to get to safety. Nothing was attacking him, though? He was in a quiet building with no nearby animals, so why did he…

Lan Wangji suddenly appeared beside Wei Ying, his hands gently holding him so his body wouldn't collapse while slowly guiding him to where Wei Ying’s bed was.

“Wei Ying, do not worry. You just need to lie down.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.” Wei Ying replied quietly, his brain not even completely processing what was going on.

As soon as his body was lying on the bed, fully covered in warm, comfortable blankets, Wei Ying closed his eyes. The last thing he heard was the opening and closing of the entrance door before his mind fully drifted into the land of dreams, where he finally felt safe.

Chapter Text

When Lan Wangji left Wei Ying’s residence, he felt dread starting to creep up his spine but dismissed it immediately. He would feel nothing but guilt if he had done what he did when he was fifteen. He imagines going into seclusion and reflecting on his unforgivable actions until the end of his days, just like his father, but the Lan Wangji now didn’t feel guilty at all, he felt content. Content that he can and will keep Wei Ying safe no matter what, even if he would have to go against every single cultivator in this world.

He just hopes that the drug he gave Wei Ying wasn’t too strong. The last time he ordered the cooks to add the herbal mixture to his beloved’s meal didn’t go too well. Wei Ying had woken up after nearly three days, which really was, in the end, not that big of an issue. Wei Ying hasn’t been told what day it is since he came here. Lan Wangji always tells him that he only woke up a couple of hours later from a long nap, so unless Wei Ying somehow keeps track of the days thanks to an outside source, which Lan Wangji seriously doubts, he’d only ever know what Lan Wangji tells him.

Lan Wangji’s brother wanted to hold a small conference with a few representatives from Lanling Jin about a group of resentful spirits that are advancing from Lanling’s borders into Gusu’s territory. Lan Xichen said that it is only supposed to last a few hours, but despite his brother’s reassurance, he didn’t want Wei Ying to be without company for more time than he normally has to, and so he would rather leave his beloved to sleep until Lan Wangji could visit him again.

As Lan Wangji sat down onto his seat cushion, he thought about his beloved’s expression from the incident that occurred this morning. How Wei Ying’s eyes looked at him when he held him, how Wei Ying’s nose scrunched up just a bit and his cheeks became red from anger and frustration, how his mouth opened just a bit, his lips slightly swollen from all the biting Wei Ying does to them when he’s thinking…

“Hanguang-Jun, if I may ask, where is your wife? Shouldn’t she be sitting here with you?” One of the Lanling Jin members asked with a polite smile, interrupting Lan Wangji’s train of thought.

If Lan Wangji didn’t know better, he’d think he heard a hint of concern in the other man’s voice, but this was just unnecessary small talk to lighten the mood.

“My wife has been feeling sick as of late.”

“Ah,” the Jin cultivator said as he smiled awkwardly, “then I hope she recovers quickly.”

The conversation ended there. Lan Wangji did not want to entertain this man with any more answers than necessary. His beloved was a topic many liked to converse with him about. He understood why, of course, but despite the reasons, he disliked the interest others had in his spouse. Lan Wangji married his beloved in the dead of night, the same day he found him, with no one other than his brother to act as a witness and the marriage officiant. In the eyes of the rules his ancestors had written for his clan, Lan Wangji’s wedding to his beloved was completely acceptable.

Lan Wangji’s uncle hadn’t discovered what had happened until three days later, when he saw him and Lan Xichen arguing in front of their mother’s residence. Lan Qiren became furious and dragged Lan Wangji to explain himself to the nearest private room he could find. This was one of the rare moments the elder allowed himself to raise his voice. He demanded immediate answers as to why his nephew had married a person whom he had just found out about a couple of minutes ago and why this individual was locked up in their mother’s residence.

“Uncle, I've already married them, there is nothing you can do. My brother personally witnessed the wedding, all was done under the clan’s rules.”

“How shameful! Did you even think about the consequences of your actions? How will the clan be able to announce that you married someone from a village, mind you, with no importance to their name whatsoever?! Where did all the years of your diligence go, Wangji?”

“I am utterly devoted to them, uncle. I asked the clan leader for permission, and he allowed the union, therefore, nothing wrongful was done.”

Lan Qiren scoffed, “Nothing wrongful?! Wangji, you haven’t acted in this manner since that,” he paused to catch his breath, “not since that demonic cultivator-”

Lan Qiren stopped without finishing the sentence when he saw the way Lan Wangji’s eyes were looking at him. They were the same ones he had seen on his brother thirty-eight years ago.

“I thought you to be different, but you are just like him.” Lan Qiren said, his tone cold and disappointment written all over him. He left the room immediately after, without saying another word.

Lan Wangji sighed as his uncle’s words still lingered on his mind. He didn’t worry, though, a plan was already set in motion regarding the announcement of his marriage. Lan Wangji had no intention of worrying about what the higher society thinks of him, but for the sake of satisfying the thoughts of the other clans, he and his brother agreed that if Lan Wangji were to marry someone, it would be a woman from a small clan situated far away.

The night after their wedding, Lan Wangji insisted that Wei Ying choose a new name for himself. A name that will be written into the genealogy book and proclaimed to the public as the one of Lan Wangji’s wife.

“Please, choose whichever one you’d like and write it down.” Lan Wangji said after he provided Wei Ying with a piece of paper, a brush, and ink, putting the supplies on the desk nearby.

Wei Ying stared at Lan Wangji with disgust. His nose scrunched up a bit, eyebrows furrowed, fingernails digging into his thighs under the awfully white and pristine robes he was given.

“You’re fucking sick if you think I’ll play house with you! You drugged me, made me marry you, locked me up in this house, and now you want me to change my name just so you could say you have a wife?! Do you even know how crazy that sounds? Why would you even want me here? You hated me! Everyone, including you, wanted me dead!”

“No, my beloved, I did not want you-”

“Don’t call me that! I’m not your ‘beloved’, all this is just some sick fantasy you made up in your head!”

“Wei Ying, calm down. I am not asking you to change your name. I need you to have a new one, so I wouldn’t risk endangering you. Don’t you think it’d be strange if my wife didn’t have a name?”

“How many times do I have to tell you?! I am not your fucking wife, and this is the end of this conversation!”

Wei Ying turned around and started walking towards his sleeping quarters with swift steps, but before he could even exit the room, he was stopped by Lan Wangji blocking his path. Wei Ying stopped in his tracks and, with an annoyed expression, looked up at Lan Wangji.

“You know what? Fine. If you want a name for your ‘wife’, I’ll give you one.”

Wei Ying turned around once again, walked over to the desk in the middle of the room, and sat down on the cushion in front of it. He picked up the brush and dipped it in the ink with one hand while placing the paper in front of him with the other. Wei Ying then wrote the characters as fast as he could, he honestly didn’t care how horrible his handwriting looked, he just wanted to be done with this nonsense as fast as possible. After the name was fully written on the paper, Wei Ying looked at it once more and was quite sure that if the old man Lan ever saw his writing, he’d faint on the spot. Satisfied, he picked up the paper and shoved it into Lan Wangji’s chest.

Lan Wangji didn’t react in any way at Wei Ying’s act, he simply grabbed the paper so it wouldn’t fall on the floor and read the name out loud.

“Zhu Meiyu?”

“Don’t you think it’s fitting?” Wei Ying said with a pitiful expression on his face, “A beautiful jade locked up somewhere, just for you. Is that not what I am? Just some gem for you to come and look at?”

Lan Wangji smiled, still looking at the name written on the paper. He didn’t address Wei Ying’s allegations. Instead, he just thanked him for the name and wished Wei Ying a good night before exiting the house.

A letter with a short and straightforward message announcing his marriage was sent to all the major clans, including a few smaller ones, only a few days later. Even though there could definitely be questions raised surrounding the awfully quick and quiet wedding, many justified it with the clan’s need to stay modest and humble, and so the society’s excitement about the surprising news died rather quickly.

Chapter Text

To nobody’s surprise, the conference took more time than anticipated, ten hours to be exact, with a break after the five-hour mark to serve lunch. Lan Wangji mostly just quietly sat and listened to others conversing about the spirits lingering on Gusu’s and Lanling Jin’s border. He knew his brother and Jin Guangyao, the clan leader of Lanling Jin, were on good terms, and if Lan Wangji had any say about the situation, he’d argue that “good terms” was an understatement. He, of course, understood that Jin Guangyao posed a threat to his beloved if he ever were to discover his true identity. Still, he also knew that as long as his brother is happy with his current love affair, everything will go well for both of them.

Lan Wangji loved his brother dearly, he was his most trusted and only confidant. He supported him throughout every course of his life, despite some of the disagreements they had, especially surrounding his ever-shining sun. This left an irreparable dent in Lan Wangji’s heart, which forever reminded him that, despite his appreciation for his brother, he had tried to hurt his beloved once and might try to do so again if persuaded or backed into a corner. Despite their past differences, Lan Wangji noticed that this also played into his favour. His brother was the clan leader, the one who, even after potential interferences from the council of the elders, had the final say. His brother felt bad about the pain he had caused him, often trying to make it up to him in any way he could, thus resulting in being his accomplice regarding his beloved.

When Lan Wangji first encountered Wei Ying, it was fairly close to Gusu, in a village led by the Mo family. Here, he was tasked with freeing the place of walking corpses. Initially, this was supposed to be a task given to the Lan juniors, but after a small discussion, the group was sent to help another family to a more remote location on the opposite side of Gusu, and so it was Lan Wangji’s job to get rid of the problem which plagued the Mo Village. Lan Wangji knew he had a duty to fulfil, so he had accepted the task, like he would any other. He appreciated that it occupied his mind, even if for just a short amount of time. Lan Wangji later decided that accepting the mission was one of the best decisions of his life. He arrived in Mo village, ready to rid the place of the evil lurking within, when he saw someone running around the Mo Manor with what looked like a bamboo flute in their hand.

The moon’s shine reflected onto the young man’s facial features, revealing the heavy eyebags under his eyes and his beaten-up face, dry blood sticking to his left cheek. Whether this was caused by the current fighting or some other incident, Lan Wangji did not know. His hair was pulled back into a bun, which looked as if it would collapse at any second, with some of his hair already falling out of the hairstyle. The man’s body looked underfed, so it wasn’t far-fetched to assume his fighting skills wouldn’t be too effective. That is, if he even had any, seeing as he didn’t engage in close combat, at least not in the moments which Lan Wangji had witnessed so far.

Although he didn’t quite understand the intentions this young man had with the walking corpses, his job was to get rid of them as fast as possible, not watch some amateur cultivator try to “fight” a bunch of them. Lan Wangji was prepared to intervene only a second later, when he heard a melody, which seemed to pierce through his heart and squeeze his lungs of any remaining oxygen he had. He stood in place and desperately looked for the source of the sound, his eyes frantically searching the place around him.

Adrenaline pooled into his blood. At one point, he was afraid he couldn’t hear it anymore. The loud ringing in his ears and the heavy sound of his heartbeat took up most of what he was hearing, but the melody relentlessly started getting louder and louder until Lan Wangji finally registered the source of the sound. The melody, albeit not played very well, was coming out of the young man’s flute. Lan Wangji furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes now fiercely pierced through the other man’s whole being. His body didn’t appear to have much stamina, but despite this, the corpses stopped, and instead of attacking, they submitted to following the young man’s commands. Lan Wangji was watching his every move now, as if his life depended on it. Truth be told, it may as well did if what he thought was correct.

Although hopeful at first, Lan Wangji’s mind was quickly filled with doubts, which were starting to get stronger and stronger. He knew that the whole situation did not make much sense. This melody was a gift to Wei Ying, the only person Lan Wangji has ever loved and will continue to love, but his Wei Ying no longer walked among the living. As far as he knew, Wei Ying did not share Lan Wangji’s gift with anyone else, and Lan Wangji wouldn’t dare to even think about doing so. This was their melody, theirs to keep, theirs to listen to and theirs to play.

Lan Wangji was starting to get angry. Despite not knowing this individual, they had no right to his gift.

How dare this person play something so valuable to him and his beloved?

However, his rising emotions quickly subsided when the sound got quiet and then stopped entirely. The young man under Lan Wangji’s vision started panting heavily, the corpses, no longer following the sound of the flute, started attacking the stranger with even more force than before. His body looked ready to faint, and despite impressively being able to manipulate the corpses, he clearly took on more than the body could handle.

Lan Wangji no longer wasted any moment watching the man and instead sent a powerful wave down onto the corpses with his guqin, knocking them down and thus allowing the man to not get injured any further. Walking corpses were generally not difficult to get rid of, but without the proper strength to fight, they posed a threat when in a group. Lan Wangji jumped down from the roof of the building on which he was standing. As soon as he felt the ground under his feet, he pulled out Bichen and, with quick precision, finished off the task he came here for. Finally, Lan Wangji was able to confront the stranger, who not only had to be a demonic cultivator based on his skills manipulating the corpse’s moves, but also held the knowledge of the song composed for his beloved.

However, as soon as Lan Wangji turned his body towards the man, wanting to speak to him, he took off and, with a newfound energy, started running away as fast as he could. Taken aback, Lan Wangji opened his mouth to speak, but instead resorted to running after the man. The stranger was already exhausted when fighting the walking corpses. The remaining strength in his body must be low, it wouldn’t take long to catch up to him without exerting much energy.

Wei Ying didn’t like this. No, he didn’t like it one bit. Who would have thought that after not even a day of being alive again, in someone else’s body nonetheless, he would encounter the ever-so-righteous Lan Wangji. Surely, here once again, to drag him over onto the correct path, just like before. Now, however, wasn’t the time to dwell on the past, now he had to run. Wei Ying was glad to know that this body did have a golden core, the problem was that it wasn’t useful at all. Only after a few minutes of running from those walking corpses, he already felt nearly exhausted.

This body feels like a problem of its own, he thought as he silently cursed its slow movements and low stamina.

Wei Ying felt as if he hadn’t eaten for days, which might as well be the case, solely based on how he was treated by the Mo family earlier. His muscles hurt, and he felt his body getting weaker and weaker with each step he took. Despite this, he had to continue running once again. Right now, he was the prey and as nature dictates, he had to flee from the its hunter if he wanted to survive. After a few minutes, Wei Ying knew that in order not to get caught, he had to hide. He could no longer run, his body felt on the verge of collapsing any second.

Wei Ying couldn’t just hide in a random building in the village, and so he resorted to hiding in the forest behind it. The trees towering over him gave Wei Ying both a place to hide and to further distance himself from Lan Wangji without having to run long distances at once. Here, he could take a small break, even if for just a minute. Here, he felt a bit safer. Here, he wouldn’t be hunted as easily.

As soon as Wei Ying felt the shade of the forest over him, he hid behind a tree surrounded by dark bushes from each side. He sat down and pulled his knees close to his chest, resting his head on them. Despite wanting to, he couldn’t make himself any smaller, and so he hoped that the darkness would help him hide under its cover, further shielding him from possible moonlight seeping through cracks between the tree leaves. Wei Ying’s body still felt in fight or flight mode, the heavy sound of his heartbeat ringing in his ears, his muscles pulsing from all the running he had done, not only a minute before.

Wei Ying knew he wouldn’t be able to win this fight. He had every disadvantage in the book. This body felt like it was dying just by existing. Perhaps surrender is his only option? No, he couldn’t give up this easily, he had to put up a fight at least. Wei Ying’s eyes started scanning every inch of the forest he was able to see, hoping to spot his hunter and get away as soon as possible or relocate his hiding spot. Yet, as always, the god of luck was never on his side when he needed him the most, and only a moment later he heard a quiet crack of a branch snapping in half.

Wei Ying’s heartbeat picked up its pace once more, and his breathing quickened. The sound of the snap felt awfully close to him. He knew he had to stay alert, despite this body not wanting to do anything other than accept his loss and collapse out of exhaustion. Wei Ying dug his nails into his arm, hoping the active pain would help to keep the body awake. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions too quickly. Maybe it was simply an animal making its way through the forest? This thought, however, disappeared from his mind as soon as he saw a hand reaching out to him from the corner of his vision.

Wei Ying bolted out of his hiding spot into the endless darkness of the forest, making his way through trees, hoping to shake off his hunter once more. He couldn’t be heading in just one direction the whole time, and so he chose to run in one and, after a while, go in the other. As if the stress for this body wasn’t enough, his panic set in when he heard heavy steps relentlessly chasing after him. As was his luck, his right calf muscle finally decided to give out, sending a painful shock through his whole body, making Wei Ying fall. He groaned out in pain and put both of his hands around the hurting place on his leg.

This couldn’t be worse. I have to get up, otherwise, he will find me… He will find me and give me over to the council. They will believe him, wanting to execute anyone with even the slightest suspicion of any association with demonic cultivation.

Wei Ying turned around and despite the unbearable pain, crawled the short distance to the tree trunk near him. He tried to use it as a support in getting up from his fallen position on the cold ground of the forest, but was in the end unable to do so. He had to accept it, he lost. He let his back rest against the tree, still clutching his calf, hoping the pain would subside just for even a moment. He looked up and saw a man covered in white clothing approaching him and in only a few steps, the figure stood before him, his gaze piercing Wei Ying’s very being.

He was scared, he was exhausted, he ran, but still to no avail. Now, sitting on the ground of the forest, injured, he truly was no better than an animal being caught by its predator.

Chapter Text

Wei Ying’s breath hitched as he felt the tip of Lan Wangji’s sword press against his throat. His eyes met those of his hunter, fierce and cold, showing no remorse. Wei Ying didn’t dare to speak, instead, he tried to focus on calming his breathing. However, this was no easy task with his body still shaking and a sword against his throat.

The silence was broken when a voice finally said, “How do you know this song?”

The question was simple, but it left no room for any arguments Wei Ying might have. Lan Wangji wanted an answer. Now.

“A friend played it to me.” Wei Ying replied, trying to act as composed as his body allowed him to, but the slight trembling of his voice gave him away.

Unfortunately for Wei Ying, this answer alone did not satisfy Lan Wangji, and so he had to ask again, his voice sterner and a bit louder.

“What friend? Where did they play it to you?”

Wei Ying felt the tip of the sword nearly break his throat’s skin barrier.

“No, please!” The sword retreated about an inch away from his throat. Wei Ying was grateful, but he couldn’t let his guard down and continued, “It was in a cave, we were injured, and he played it to me-”

Wei Ying was suddenly taken by his right hand and forcefully made to get up from his sitting position, Bichen now resting by Lan Wangji’s side. The hand on his arm continued dragging him through the forest, but only after a few seconds, Wei Ying groaned out in pain, his other hand clutching his injured leg. He felt tears forming on the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t pretend anymore. If Lan Wangji stopped with at least dragging him behind, he’d consider it a small victory.

“Lan Zhan, stop, please, my leg…”

Suddenly, the movement came to a halt. Wei Ying will be forever grateful for this small victory of his, but nevertheless, he continued, afraid that Lan Wangji would want more of an explanation than just him mentioning ‘his leg’.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Lan Zhan, I tripped while running, and my leg is hurting, please just walk slower. I won’t run away anymore, I swear!”

Wei Ying felt pathetic, he felt as if he would break into tears on the spot. This was not his fault! None of it was, not even his injuries! He hadn’t caused any of them, and yet, he pleaded, pleaded as if the person in front of him wasn’t the main culprit. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to.

Lan Wangji watched as his Wei Ying begged, his eyes glossy. He didn’t care how his beloved came to own this new body. He cared that he was given a second chance, something which he will not waste, not like how his younger self did. This time, he will protect Wei Ying, and he will succeed. He wanted to walk out of the forest and look over Wei Ying’s injuries properly, but seeing as his leg must be causing him the most amount of pain, he decided that a proper medical check at the Cloud Recesses would be the best solution.

Lan Wangji, therefore, picked up Wei Ying in his arms, careful not to squeeze his injured leg.

“Ah! Lan Zhan, what… You can put me down. If I just walk slower, I’ll be fine!”

But Lan Wangji didn’t want Wei Ying to walk slower. If his leg was injured, he didn’t have to walk at all, because now he had Lan Wangji. If he wanted to, he wouldn’t have to take another step for the rest of his life, Lan Wangji would pick him up and do it for him. Before Wei Ying was able to utter another protest, Lan Wangji mounted his sword and as quickly as possible flew to Cloud Recesses.

The way home was peaceful. Wei Ying fell asleep from pure exhaustion just a few minutes in. Lan Wangji loved seeing his beloved like this, calm, resting, unaware of the evil lurking in this world even just for a moment, his consciousness floating somewhere where only Wei Ying can see. Lan Wangji will allow him this serenity. Although, he would like his Wei Ying to share everything with him, he knows that dreams are sacred and precious, because his own just came true.

When Wei Ying woke up, the first thing he noticed was the excruciating headache. This, however, wasn’t the end. When he attempted to get up, his muscles felt painfully sore. He tried to remember what had happened and where he was, but he couldn’t seem to get his brain to think straight. Suddenly, there was a figure clothed in white making him drink some sort of tea, which left a weird aftertaste in his mouth. Wei Ying focused his eyes on the person in front of him.

“Lan Zhan? What…” he asked, feeling as if even forming one coherent sentence was beyond his abilities right now.

“Do not worry. Just drink and it will be over soon.”

Wei Ying’s eyes scanned his surroundings. He noticed someone else standing to the left of his vision, also a man dressed in white. Before Wei Ying could ask about him, he was made to drink another cup of the strange liquid.

“Wangji, are you sure?” the voice of the man on his left said.

Sure of what?, Wei Ying wondered.

“Mn, he drank just enough.”

A hand touched his cheek, stroking it with its thumb.

“It will be over soon. Please, do as I instruct.”

He turned his head upwards, hearing Lan Zhan speak to him, but being unable to fully understand what he was saying. Wei Ying blinked at Lan Wangji a few times, seemingly completely unaware of anything that was going on. He didn’t know how to respond and so all he did was smile, hopefully, that answer will suffice. Strong hands gently brought him up and continued to support him as he was made to stand. His wobbly legs weren’t able to do much and so he had to rely on the person next to him.

“Wangji, I know I agreed to help you, but all this seems a bit… excessive, don’t you think?”

“Brother, I want my happiness too.” Lan Wangji replied, the warm look in his eyes reserved for his beloved now turned serious once more.

“I understand, but-“

“You agreed. The sooner you do it, the sooner it will be over.”

Lan Xichen sighed and moved to stand in front of the pair. He didn’t want his brother to suffer any more. For the first time in thirteen years, Lan Xichen could see the determination in his younger brother’s eyes come back. His vision slid to look into Wei Wuxian’s eyes. They were unfocused, most likely staring into an empty space, not even paying a bit of attention to the conversation in the room. Lan Xichen hopes that somehow, someday, Wei Wuxian will be able to forgive him.

“We will proceed with only the most necessary part, as we unfortunately find ourselves in a rather precarious position…” he gave the couple a small reassuring smile, mostly also to calm himself down and continued, “As wedding tradition dictates you will now give your three bows, please Wangji help Wei Wuxian through these.”

Lan Wangji nodded, he wouldn’t dare not to, especially when it was clear his loved one wasn’t aware of what situation he was in. He was glad. The tea was working.

“The first bow to heaven and earth.”

Lan Wangji gently took Wei Ying’s arms forming them into a bow while helping him lean onto his own body for support, as he too bowed himself.

“The second bow to parents.”

They bowed again.

“The third bow to each other.”

Lan Wangji looked at Wei Ying, turned both of their bodies to face each other, his beloved and him, finalising the last step to a wedding ceremony. After the third bow, Wei Ying almost stumbled, his head spinning, but was quickly caught by his husband, Lan Wangji’s hands now around his waist.

“The ceremony is now complete, under the rules of the Lan and our ancestors, you are now married. Congratulations to you both, Wangji, Wei Wuxian.” Lan Xichen said, his words sounding pleasant, but his face full of guilt.

“Thank you, brother.”

“Of course, Wangji, I’m glad it made you happy. Should we arrange for another bedding to be brought here for Wei Wuxian?”

“No. Although the Jingshi is secluded, it is not enough. I’ll bring Wei Ying to mother’s residence.”

“Mother’s residence? You can’t be serious… It hasn’t been lived in in years-“

“It is safer. I will bring his bedding there and clean while he rests. The tea was strong enough, it is making him tired already.”

Lan Wangji looked down at Wei Ying’s face, his beloved leaning onto his chest, his eyes tired and body not even trying to fight off the oncoming sleepiness.

“The healer advised for easily digested meals. I will ask the kitchen to make medicinal congee tomorrow morning.”

Lan Xichen nodded. Wei Wuxian needs his health to get better above all else, it made him sick seeing how weak his body was.

“But Wangji what will you do when uncle finds out? I know we decided on his new identity, but I am afraid someone will find out eventually! The healer swore to secrecy, I know she did, but if this secret somehow falls into the wrong hands…”

“It won’t. I will do everything to protect him. I will deal with uncle if necessary, the rules will not stop me anymore. Besides, you broke them today too.”

Lan Xichen gives him a defeated smile. His brother is right, he did break them, multiple ones, but they can’t argue anymore, they have to work as a team now. The wedding already happened, there’s no going back now.

Cloud Recesses, the present

Wei Ying could feel the headache as soon as he opened his eyes. He put one hand on his throbbing forehead and sat up. He looked around, the warm blanket still draped over his lap, but saw no one, at least no one in the room where he slept. He drank the cup of water on the table closest to his bed and carefully got up, the pain subsiding a little.

He slowly walked over to the main living quarters, but still saw no one. We Ying let himself smile just for a moment, enjoying the calmness and no one else’s presence, but his own. He went to the wardrobe and fished out another warm layer of robes and put them on. Wei Ying felt the clothing protecting him against the coldness seeping through the walls into the main room, making him feel cosy, but not overly warm. This was perfect.

The calm silence was interrupted by his stomach reminding him of his hunger. He tried ignoring it, only for his body to remind him again. The meals he was served were always a bit too bland for his liking. Even on the days he felt better and Lan Wangji allowed him to add a small amount of chilli oil, it still tasted bland, better, but bland. After a few minutes, his peace was disturbed by the all too familiar three knocks on the door of the residence. Wei Ying let out a deep sigh. No matter, he expected it sooner or later, at least his food was coming too. His hair felt tangled too, he would have to ask for a comb.

Lan Wangji let himself in and quickly closed the door. As Wei Ying heard footsteps approaching the main living quarters, he looked up. His captor greeted him as he entered the room. In response, Wei Ying dragged himself over to the table where he ate his meals, already hungry enough to eat even that bland congee Lan Wangji always brought. But as the food was placed in front of him, amidst the usual kind, he saw cut-up pieces of what looked like an apple. Wei Ying’s eyes widened. His hand immediately reached to take one, but was suddenly stopped.

“The vegetables and the main dish first.”

Wei Ying’s expression quickly turned sour.

“I prepared them for you myself. You can have more later.”

“I’m not a child, you know? I’ll eat whatever I want!”

“Wei Ying, please.” Lan Wangji said, his voice serious, leaving no space for any more arguments.

Wei Ying knew that he wasn’t in any position to protest, he had heard this tone too many times not to remember.

“Alright… But I won’t act like it’s any good, because honestly, it never is.”

Wei Ying started eating, making a face at every single bite he took. Although he couldn’t protest verbally, he’d at least do it with his reactions to this tasteless food.

“Done!” Wei Ying said as he swallowed the last bite of the porridge he was brought.

But Lan Wangji didn’t move the bowl of fruit closer to him, not yet.

“Please? May I have the apples now?” Wei Ying asked, a smile creeping up on his face.

Lan Wangji finally moved the bowl closer, allowing him to eat the pieces of the cut up apple.

Small victories.

He ate them slowly, enjoying the sweetness they possessed, not knowing when he would be able to taste them again.

“You look better now, more rested. You ate more as well. I’m glad.”

That’s true, I did eat more than the last meal. When was it anyway? I don’t really seem to remember…?

Wei Ying’s thoughts were, however, interrupted by Lan Wangji’s voice, “My beloved, I have a surprise for you. Let me brush your hair and I will tell you.”

Wei Ying usually did it himself, but he wanted to ask for a comb anyway and a certain ‘surprise’ did pique his interest. He didn’t have much to do in his prison, so this would probably be the most exciting thing that would happen in the past few weeks. Although Wei Ying didn’t want to be ungrateful, he was hoping it wasn’t just another piece of jewellery, he had more than enough of those. On the other hand, how ungrateful can one truly feel towards his kidnapper…

He nodded and thus allowed Lan Wangji to sit behind him, comb in hand, his hands parting his hair into small sections carefully brushing through them.

“Brother received a letter today. The Lanling Jin sect invited us to a banquet in a few weeks. We would only be there for one day and fly home in the morning. Your face would have to be covered and you would not leave my side. If you behave well and your health improves, I will allow you to go. Would you like to?”

Wei Ying sat there, utterly speechless.

Surely this must be a trick? He wouldn’t simply allow me to go, right? Come to think of it, I haven’t been seen in public once… Are people doubting his marriage? But he wouldn’t care about gossip… So why would he suddenly ask me? Why would he ask as if I had a choice?

In the end, all Wei Ying did in response was nod.

Chapter Text

Wei Ying was sure it must have been at least a week since his invitation to finally step foot outside. As someone who thrives on social interactions and being able to roam free, it was strange to find comfort in the quiet now. He understood the game Lan Wangji played, yet his choices to move his pieces were limited. He was forced to comply with the rules Lan Wangji set for him, and he truly didn’t agree to any of them, however, now he finds himself following them almost like a routine. Wei Ying doesn’t want to, following means to submit, to wholeheartedly admit that the authority in charge of this rule is correct.

Nonetheless, the control Wei Ying had to live under also had its benefits, because it made the only person who controlled his life happy. Bringing Lan Wangji this daily satisfaction made Wei Ying’s life easier. Not that he wouldn’t get his meals, medicine, ridiculous amounts of gifts or sweets, he was surprised to find out he received these things anyway, regardless of his behaviour. No, what made the difference were the feelings Lan Wangji was experiencing whenever he saw Wei Ying willingly comply. And as much as Wei Ying hated himself for it, he found himself enjoying being able to be in the presence of someone who was not a cold block of ice for once, especially if this someone was the only person constantly by his side. 

Even the healer appointed to Wei Ying rarely speaks to him directly, everything is mostly told to Lan Wangji, who’s always sitting next to him. However, as far as Wei Ying knows, whenever he spoke directly to the healer, she looked at Lan Wangji and then answered him just fine, which he finds a bit rude, but he’ll continue asking his questions anyway, it is his body and health after all.

At first, he felt disgusted by the mere thought of being comfortable in this deafening silence and the presence of his prisoner. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that that was exactly what Lan Wangji wanted. Being able to only interact with one person forces the other to get attached, whether they like it or not. It feels humiliating to succumb to a simple manipulation tactic like this, but what else can Wei Ying do when this is the only way he gets the social interaction he so desperately seeks? Of course, he’s going to get attached, little by little, he feels it, his anger disappearing and small cracks of a new feeling opening. These, he will allow himself if only for his sanity.

He felt better today, not completely free of all the problems his body had to deal with, but better. He was still made to mostly eat medicinal congee with vegetables and a portion of fruit that Lan Wangji brought him, but he had to admit that the pain in his body had subsided ever since he was put on this diet.

Another thing which Wei Ying found out was that he now spends his time painting and actually enjoys it. It all began with Lan Wangji bringing him flowers that were still capable of withstanding the now colder temperatures. He hasn’t painted any person yet, but the flowers and frequent gifts Lan Wangji brings him are a good way to practice his art. Sometimes he leaves his art pieces on his desk, and they appear elsewhere rather than where he remembers leaving them, other times, they vanish and reappear a few days later in the exact same place. Wei Ying doesn’t mind, this paper, ink and brush don’t belong to him anyway. He’s just pleased he gets to spend his day differently than just lying in bed and staring at a wall.

And so, as Wei Ying picked up his brush and softly dipped it into the ink, ready to add another line to his painting, he heard footsteps coming towards the house. Surprised, he quickly turned his head around, looking in the direction of the entrance door. Hearing slow, but steady footsteps wasn’t unusual for him, but this wasn’t just one person, there must have been at least two people heading his way. He got up from his seated position at the desk, accidentally dropping his brush on the wooden surface, which splashed small drops of ink onto it. Sighing, Wei Ying put the brush in its resting place and looked at the stains on his work area.

I just hope he won’t be mad. It’s not like I was supposed to expect this situation anyway, he thinks, and quickly dismisses it..

Not long after, Lan Wangji’s knocking was heard behind the door. Wei Ying waited for him to come inside the main area, before starting to question him.

“Good morning, I’ve brought you your break-” Lan Wangji looked up and abruptly stopped talking as he put Wei Ying’s tray with his meal and medicine on the table. Lan Wangji continued as he made quick steps towards his spouse, “What happened? Are you alright?” he asked, looking at Wei Ying’s stained robes, gently holding him in place by the shoulders.

“What?” his beloved answered, looking down at his clothing in confusion.

“Oh, I haven’t even noticed that. Whatever, I have a more important matter than some dirty robes. Who is the person standing in front of this house?” Wei Ying added rather urgently.

“You aren’t hurt? Did you fall and accidentally drop the brush?” Lan Wangji said, tightening his grip on his beloved’s body.

“Stop, I did not fall! Who is the person outside of this building?!” Wei Ying asked again, desperate for an answer. He could feel his throat hurting a little from suddenly raising his voice. This situation seemed more serious than he thought. Lan Wangji never brings someone even near this house unannounced.

“Lan Yue. She’s the seamstress who made the very robes you’re wearing right now. I trust her.”

“Have you thought me so clumsy that you’ve predicted these ink stains?” Wei Ying let out a laugh full of disbelief and added, “I don’t need new robes.”

“You do, the banquet is happening in about a fortnight. You need new robes, more feminine robes to be exact.”

Oh, so this is for my appearance at the banquet.

“You mean, you need new robes for your wife?” Wei Ying replied, emphasising the last word. To be fair, this would be his first time being outside again, in public, so he decided to suck it up and not complain any further.

Lan Wangji just stood there, gazing into his spouse’s eyes full of disdain. After a few seconds, he turned around and opened the door for the seamstress to come in. Lan Yue’s family has been providing the clothing for the main members of the clan for generations. At first, he wasn’t too sure about Wei Ying meeting her, but after his brother’s reassurance and her first work for Wei Ying, his beloved’s robes, he was inclined to believe her ability not to betray them. Lan Yue slowly made her way into the main room, where Wei Ying stood. She kept her head down and bowed in front of Hanguang-Jun’s wife.

Lan Yue was as polite-looking as any other resident of Gusu. She was of an average build, her hair pulled up into a bun, dressed in plain white robes. Wei Ying noticed a part of her finger was bandaged, damage to it presumably made from doing her work.

“Good morning, Lan-furen, it is an honour meeting you again. This one’s name is Lan Yue. I was sent here to take your measurements and provide you with new robes for the banquet which you are attending,” she said, looking at him with a gentle smile on her face.

“We’ve met before?” Wei Ying mumbled in confusion, but clearly loud enough for Lan Yue to hear.

“Yes, unfortunately, I believe you may not remember it, as you seemed quite… tired that day.”

Yeah, probably because I was high on drugs or whatever he gave me, Wei Ying thought to himself.

“May we begin? If so, I would humbly ask Lan-furen to undress as many layers as the furen is comfortable with. The measurements for your robes need to be precise, and besides, it would be better for you to have as much comfort as possible in them.” Lan Yue explained, turning around to give him privacy.

“Oh, right.”

He looked to the right, where Lan Wangji stood, as though he was asking for his permission to undress. After Wei Ying received his husband’s approval, he began taking down the layers one by one. The cold of Gusu’s usual weather caressed his body, and Wei Ying nearly started shivering after taking off the second one. The upcoming winter season isn’t doing him any good, so for the past few days, he has resorted to wearing an extra layer, even though he spends his time inside, day and night.

“Leave those two on. Your health has been improving lately. I do not want you to get so sick again.” Lan Wangji told him sternly and then allowed Lan Yue to proceed.

She worked quickly. Lan Yue was skilled, and her years of experience were definitely showing through. She was done in only a few minutes, and Wei Ying was sure the seamstress had measurements of nearly every inch of his body. As soon as she announced that her work was done, his husband started helping him put on his two layers back. Wei Ying was determined to have them on and warm his body quite literally right now, and so he opened his arms and waited for Lan Wangji to dress him as if he were a doll.

Lan Wangji turned to address Lan Yue, “My spouse must not be cold. Prepare more layers if you have to.”

“Of course, all will be done as you require,” she replied and turning to Wei Ying, said, “Lan-furen, thank you for trusting me with your robes. I hope the ones you had so far were acceptable. If there is anything you’d like to change, please do let me know. I will do my utmost to satisfy your requests.”

“Oh, no, everything you’ve made has been amazing and helped with the cold weather... thank you."

“I am glad then. The winters in Gusu are harsh. I will provide the furen with an appropriate winter coat and robes made of a thicker material. It is the least I can do.”

Lan Yue gave Wei Ying a soft smile. He thought she looked a bit… sad? Perhaps worried? That, however, didn’t matter right now. She was here to do a job, and Wei Ying wouldn’t want to sour her mood when she already had mountains of work to do. He acknowledged her with a nod.

“If that is all, then I will take my leave. Hanguang-Jun, Lan-furen.” Lan Yue bowed to both of them and swiftly left.

She didn’t even ask me what colour I wanted them in… I’m sure they’ll be white, of course, but it would be nice to ask for my opinion once.

Wei Ying’s thinking was interrupted by Lan Wangji bringing him a clean set of outer robes. Wei Ying turned to him with an annoyed expression.

“I’m inside day and night. I don’t need to change them, it’s just a few small splashes. Besides, no one comes here except you or a select few others, who come and go in under ten minutes.”

Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow, but started taking off Wei Ying’s robe anyway.

“Wait! If you take my robe off, I will be cold. Ang being cold means that your wife will freeze to death, you know?” Wei Ying answered with a grin, thinking it would ward off the Lan from proceeding further.

“Will not. I’m here to make sure nothing happens.”

Wei Ying’s smile dropped seeing Lan Wangji triumph over his teasing. He rolled his eyes and took off the outer robe himself. His husband held the clothing open for him, and so Wei Ying simply put his arms through the holes and adjusted the collar. Lan Wangji looked pleased. His spouse has been more open to talking as of late. It was still a long way to victory, but it was a step forward.

“My beloved, please come eat. I’m sorry you had to wait for your meal.”

Wei Ying’s answer was to come to the table and sit. He reached to drink from the cup in which his tea was usually prepared, but he was stopped by Lan Wangji giving him another one. His husband shook his head.

Not now, Wei Ying’s in a better mood than he normally is.

“What? Something’s wrong with it?”

“The leaves were steeped for longer than necessary. It is not good for your health.”

Wei Ying looked at the tea, Lan Wangji, and then the tea again, but in the end, relented and took the cup his husband was offering. He sipped the amber liquid slowly, it even tasted better than the usual one. After he took his medicine and finished his meal, Wei Ying got up to get an additional piece of paper to paint on, instead of his ink-stained one. He heard Lan Wangji telling him he would come back in a few hours for lunch, announcing that, unfortunately, he had a matter to attend to.

After a few moments, Wei Ying came back into the main area, snuggling into his blanket, prepared to start another art piece with the supplies left on his desk and a new canvas for his creation. On its wooden surface sat a small snow-white flower.