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Chapter Text

It was a bright sunny morning outside of the Hedgehog-Rose residence. All was quiet outside the quaint house except for some chirping flickies… until a blue hedgehog burst through the front door holding a large blue and yellow hoverboard style extreme gear under his arm.

“Guys, you ready?” It was none other than Sonic the Hedgehog. He wore rectangular sunglasses on his forehead and a full body racing suit zipped up to his chest, with an undershirt peeking out underneath, paired with red sneakers. He stopped a few paces away from the front door and was now inspecting his extreme gear.

“Dad! At least let me put my shoes on!” Another blue hedgehog hopped out of the house, trying to put on a sneaker and follow his father at the same time. He was also wearing a full body racing suit but with a red bandana tied at his neck and modern Aviators on his forehead.

“Boom! You’re forgetting your gear.” Now a burgundy-colored hedgehog stood in the doorway, holding hoverboard style extreme gear under each arm. He wore a backwards facing baseball cap on his head, angled in a way that his right ear was poking out above the snap closure, and a matching racing suit zipped up to his chest with an undershirt. Behind him, a pink hedgehog looked out over his left shoulder, with a look of disappointment.

“Boom, why can’t you be more like Tony?” The pink hedgehog now voiced her disappointment.

“Why can’t you be more like Tony?” Boom mocked. “Well gee, I don’t know, maybe because me and Tony aren’t related? Dad, she’s comparing me to her boyfriend. Can you believe this?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she muttered with a blush to her cheeks as she darted her eyes away.

Sonic, still inspecting his extreme gear and not turning to look at his adult son, replied “Well, she’s not exactly wrong. Tony’s the one with your extreme gear, not you.”

“You just busted out the door! I thought you were leaving without us!”

“Like I would do that. Just face it, Boom,” he turned to face the younger blue hedgehog and with a smug grin said, “you’re too slow.”

Boom was not amused as he pouted under deeply furrowed eyebrows. “Some family I’ve got,” the young hedgehog muttered.

“Boys. Boys!” Tony and the pink hedgehog behind him moved out of the way of the door to make room for another pink hedgehog trying to peek out from behind them. It was Amy Rose, wearing her longer quills in a hairclip. “Sonic, Boom, please behave. I’ll be too busy to keep you two troublemakers in line so please, please, please don’t give Tony any trouble.”

“Me? A troublemaker? I think you’ve got me confused with someone else there, Amy.” Sonic said while doing some simple leg stretches.

“Oh, I know exactly who I’m talking about, Sonic. ‘Careful? Where’s the fun in that?’ And then you nearly died. I know exactly who I married, and you were a magnet for trouble in your youth, Sonic.” Amy had now made her way over to where Sonic was standing with her hands on her hips.

“While that does sound like me, I resent that. In my youth? I’m still young!”

“Sonic,” Amy wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s been nearly 30 years since you defeated Eggman, have you ever thought of that?”

Sonic groaned. “Amy, what did I tell you about reminding me of the passage of time?”

“I’m sorry, not my fault you’ve lived so much with such a short amount of time of only 46 years.”

Sonic stared quietly at Amy before breaking the silence with “I don’t even know why I still have my hands on your hips.”

“Because you love me.” Amy giggled after seeing Sonic roll his eyes while blushing. “But just be careful, ok? I’ll be rooting for you from our stall. Good luck kiss?”

Sonic puckered his lips and leaned in to give his wife a small peck. Amy stood on tip toe and puckered her lips as well. The two hedgehogs met in the middle and what should have been just one small quick kiss became two, a giggle, and then –

“We get it, we get it, you like each other. That’s enough luck, dad.”

“Buzzkill,” Sonic muttered as he pulled away from Amy.

Boom, finally finished with tying his sneakers, stood up just to be pounced on by his mother as she hugged him and gave him a smooch on the cheek.

“There’s your good luck kiss.”

“Mom, I have a fiancé for that!” he said while rubbing his now lucky cheek.

Tony turned to look at the pink hedgehog by his side. She looked back at him.

“You know I won’t be able to hang out with you for a while.”

“Oh right. You’ll be racing and I’ll be banding – I mean, you know…” she mimed out playing a piano.

“I get it. See ya around, Rosie.”

“Hey, wait a minute. Fist bump?”

The two hedgehogs fist bumped with a smile as they looked each other in the eye. The eye contact continued even after the fist bump until Rosie shyly looked away with some blush on her cheeks.

“What? No good luck kiss for Tony? For shame, Rosie.”

“Boom, why you…” Rosie hissed through clenched teeth.

“Boomer Maurice Hedgehog-Rose, leave your sister alone.” Amy chastised.

“Yes please, Boom. Save the smack talk for the competition.”

“Oh right. Isn’t Jet the Hawk going to be there?” Tony mused as he approached Sonic and Boom.

“Yeah,” Sonic replied while nostalgically looking up at the sky. “Man, I haven’t seen that guy in so long.” After a moment of awkward silence as the younger male hedgehogs stared at Sonic, Sonic snapped himself out of his trance and asked, “So we all ready now?”

“Yep.”

“Totally.”

“Bye! I need to finish packing up and meet up with Vanilla and Cream.”

“And I need to get the band together. Maria! Ellie! You ready? We gotta get Bruiser and Blush.” Rosie called into the house.

Amy waved to Sonic, Boom, and Tony as she called out to them, “Be good, boys. Tear up the tracks. And remember, I’ll always be Team Sonic’s number one fan.”

Sonic scoffed silently as he turned to leave with his small entourage when a voice called out “DON’T LEAVE YET!” and a body moving at high speed collided with his legs.

Sonic looked down to find another blue hedgehog, a young girl this time, clinging to him while looking up. “Hey, Ellie.”

“You weren’t going to leave without saying bye to me, were you Daddy?” The girl pleaded with large moist green eyes.

“There’s a cutoff time for signing up. We gotta head out now if we wanna be able to compete in the Grand Prix this year.”

“So you really were gonna leave without saying bye.” ‘Ellie’ looked away disappointed.

A wave of sadness washed over Sonic’s expression as he saw his daughter’s reaction. “No! I mean, I didn’t mean to.” He pet the top of her head, which would temporarily smooth down the one short errant quill poking up behind her decorative bow.

“Eloise,” Rosie called. “Get your stuff and let Dad leave. You can’t forget your violin.”

“Like I ever forget my instrument. Bye, Daddy!” she waved as she headed back into the house.

“Bye, Ellie.”

A chorus of byes were exchanged between the male hedgehogs heading out and the female hedgehogs still preparing themselves for their respective future roles. A purple hedgehog appeared out of thin air next to Amy, Rosie and Eloise, her quills arranged in a half ponytail, just in time to wave bye to Sonic, Boom and Tony.

“Maria! Bye Maria!”

“Bye guys! Win that trophy!”

Boom and Tony hopped onto their extreme gear after taking a running start and playfully raced each other while Sonic opted to continue running at a leisurely pace down a nearby wooded hill. A green hedgehog in a black leather jacket stood leaning against a fence at the foot of the hill, looking very unlike the cheery morning.

“Scourge?” Sonic called. The blue hedgehog slowed to a walk and peered at the green one he was about to pass. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you gonna race in the Grand Prix?”

Scourge sighed as he looked at Sonic out of the corner of his eyes. “Like anybody would wanna see me in a skintight suit.” He gestured with his right hand to point out his stomach, which had grown during the past few years thanks to depressed beer binges among other unhealthy habits.

“Well,” Sonic raised his eyes from Scourge’s stomach back up to his face, “the suit isn’t really a requirement, you can dress however you want as long as it’s aerodynamic. This is actually a first for me,” he said tugging at his racing suit a little. “Tony wanted us to look like professionals.”

“Tony? Is that the –?"

“Rosie’s friend.”

“Uhuh.”

“Wow, ok. I really thought you’d perk up at the chance to beat me and win some money, but I guess not.” Sonic continued on his way before calling out, “go get some therapy! Stinker…”

Scourge rolled his eyes and exhaled in exasperation. He scratched at the back of his head then pulled his right arm around so that his wrist was right in front of his face. He watched Sonic run away before speaking into the cuff of his jacket.

“He has no clue…”

Sonic was waiting outside a crowded outdoor enclosure where the Grand Prix registration was taking place when Boom and Tony cruised in on their hoverboards.

“How’d you get here before us if you were jogging behind us, dad?” Boom inquired.

“You forget who the fastest thing alive is?” Sonic said while pointing at his chest with his thumb.

“Isn’t that technically Rosie now?” Boom asked unimpressed.

“Well… yes, but nobody else here knows that, now do they?”

“Probably not.” Boom hopped off his hoverboard.

“Not like Rosie goes around announcing it like you do, sir,” Tony added as he also dismounted his extreme gear.

“Please, Tony, don’t call me ‘sir’. Took me so long to train Cream out of that habit, sir makes me sound so old.”

“But you are old, dad.”

Sonic whipped around to face Boom with teeth bared. “46 is not old, Boomer.”

“Get your dad any madder and he’ll use your middle name too,” Tony stated to Boom rather smugly.

“Anyway,” Sonic shook his head a bit to release the tension that was reflecting in his slightly raised quills. “I give you full permission to call me by my name, Tony.”

“Cool, thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it. This is a really long line.”

“Yeah. I don’t see Uncle Shadow. You think he’ll race?”

“Who knows with him…” Sonic trailed off as he turned in the direction of an approaching motorcycle, his flickering ear having alerted him to its presence.

The driver of the motorcycle was none other than Shadow the Hedgehog himself, arriving in style on his Dark Rider and wearing sunglasses with triangular lenses and a black leather jacket zipped up just enough to let his white chest fur peek out. His golden inhibitor rings were nowhere to be seen but the cuffs of his jacket appeared to be a hard metallic ring attached to the sleeves. The black and red hedgehog pulled the rumbling motorcycle to a stop and turned it off.

“We’re here. Let’s go.”

A set of previously unseen arms unwrapped themselves from around his waist to let him off the bike. Shadow stood up to reveal a lookalike black and red hedgehog was seated behind him, this one female with Aviators. She stood up to reveal another hedgehog behind her, also nearly identical to herself and Shadow. His quills were not as curved as the other two however and he wore no sunglasses to speak of.

 A child stood nearby and stared at them. Shadow’s ear twitched before he turned to look at the small bystander.

“Can I help you?”

The kid pointed, hand wavering between the three lookalike hedgehogs. “Why are there three of you?”

Shadow leaned back with arms crossed and smirked. “Twilight.”

The female copy whipped her head around. “Hmm?”

“They don’t know about shadow clone jutsu.”

“Oh my god, they don’t know about shadow clone jutsu. Dusk.”

The other male hedgehog turned around.

“They don’t know about shadow clone jutsu.”

“Oh my god, they don’t know about shadow clone jutsu.” In the blink of an eye, he disappeared and reappeared right before the child and loomed over them.

“Dusk, stop that,” Shadow chastised from a distance.

“Aww, but I was gonna teach ‘em about shadow clone jutsu.”

“Nope. You’re still my disciple which means if you take on an apprentice, they become mine… and I have enough with you two. Come along, Dusk.”

“Ugh, fine.” And with that, Dusk disappeared from in front of the strange child and reappeared right by Shadow and Twilight again. “You don’t let me have any fun, dad.”

“What are you talking about? I’m entering you in a race with me, aren’t I? I could have easily left you two home and done this with Rouge and… hmm, who would have been our third?” Shadow looked down while holding his hand to his chin pensively.

“I bet Metal would be good at this,” Dusk suggested.

“Metal? In this race? Nuh-uh, that’s nooo good,” piped up Sonic from the side.

“Uncle Sonic!” Twilight perked up at the sight of the older blue hedgehog but then she noticed something. “Where’s Blast?”

“Home. He’s not very athletic so Tony is taking his place. But yeah, there’s a reason why your dad doesn’t let Metal out.”

“Tails might have been good,” Shadow mused out loud.

“What about Tails?” Sonic asked in reply.

“Hmm? I was just thinking who would have been my teammates if I didn’t let my kids join me in the Grand Prix.”

“Nuh-uh. Tails is off limits. And he couldn’t make it anyway. I asked.”

“Shame. His expertise in the field of science and penchant with mechanics would have been very useful. That and his innate ability with flight.”

“Yeah well, that’s how the cookie crumbles. And Knuckles has to keep an extra watchful eye on the Master Emerald, unless he wants his ex-wife to steal it from him.”

“You know they’re not divorced, right?”

“Really? Thought they would have been by now.”

“They’re both too stubborn to go through with it and admit failure or defeat. Shouldn’t we be getting in line?”

“That’s what we’re trying to do. Hmm.”

“What?”

“If they do get back together, the makeup sex –"

“Shh!”

“What?”

“There’s two fourteen-year-olds present that I’d like to keep innocent as long as possible.”

“And knowing about sex would mess that up how?”

“Just… don’t talk about it in front of them, ok?”

“Ok, fine. Forgot you were weird about that.”

“At least I haven’t been caught in the act by one of my kids.”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME AND SHE POOFED IN!” Sonic turned around to face Shadow. “What was I supposed to do about that?”

“Make sure she didn’t go to sleep with a chaos emerald in her possession.”

“Oh, we started doing that afterwards. And how dare you bring that up,” Sonic said while squinting at Shadow. The black and red hedgehog just smirked back at him.

The line moved along, teams splitting off to sign up at the different tables set up for the occasion. Sonic, Boom and Tony went off to one table to the far left while Shadow, Dusk and Twilight headed towards a center table. Just as Shadow grabbed a pen, a voice from a nearby table caught his attention.

“Well look who it is. Hiya, Shadow!”

Shadow turned his head slowly towards the source of the gritty voice. To his left were the Chaotix, comprising of Vector the Crocodile, Espio the Chameleon, and Charmy Bee. They were all standing looking at Shadow and his troupe with arms crossed and smiles spread across their faces.

“What are you doing here?” Shadow asked gruffly.

“What are you doing here?" Charmy retorted. “Not like you need the prize money.”

“I asked you first.”

“Nice to see you too, Shadow.” Espio finally broke his silence to also address the hedgehog. “Hisashiburi.”

“Teme,” Shadow growled.

“Hey, is it legal to race if your team members are basically you?”

“They’re their own individuals, Charlemagne, it’s fine. Besides, they let you race even though you have wings.”

“See, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground…”

“I can’t take this anymore. Kids, finish signing us in for me,” Shadow said while rubbing his closed eyes with his left hand. And with that, he blipped out of the scene.

“Good going, Charmy. You scared him away with your cringe,” berated the crocodile.

“I’m cringe? Did you look in the mirror this morning?”

“That does it!”

“Can we please not do that here? Or do you want to get disqualified before we can even finish registering?” Espio chastised his quarrelling teammates.

Vector growled. “Fine.” The crocodile grabbed the pen from the table and went to continue the registering process while staring down Charmy.

“Vector. Pay attention.”

Vector listened to the chameleon and turned his attention to the paperwork in front of him.

“Ugh, why so much paperwork?” Sonic complained as the trio of hedgehogs entered a hallway to an outdoor sports arena situated behind the registration tables. “So annoying…”

“Well, well, well,” a voice squawked. “If it isn’t Sonic the Hedgehog…”

“Oh boy. Hey, Jet. Long time no see,” Sonic responded.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d enter this competition, considering I hadn’t seen you since your retirement,” the green Mohawked hawk continued. “Cute kids.”

“Thanks, but this one isn’t actually mine.” Sonic pointed to Tony with his thumb. “What? Your buddies didn’t join you this time? I’d leave too if I had to live with a windbag like you.”

Jet squinted at the smug hedgehog. “Oh, I’m not racing alone. Wave, Stream.”

“Stream? Wasn’t the big guy’s name Storm?”

“Yeah, but he’s sitting this one out.” A purple swallow appeared out of the crowd while holding a phone in her right hand and her left hand on her hip.

“Hi guys,” a voice greeted from her phone.

“Will you look at that? Knuckles isn’t here either.”

“Yeah, he had more important business to attend to. Hi, Wave.”

“Oh good. That honestly makes me feel better about missing out this time,” continued the phone voice. “Wait a minute, did Sonic the Hedgehog breed?”

“You did too, Storm. Why are you so surprised?” Wave retorted.

“Well I don’t know. He kinda always gave me the impression of not wanting to be tied down by anything.”

“Yeah, that was back when I was like fifteen-sixteen. A lot can change in thirty years. When did you get a baby brother, Jet?”

“Hmm? Oh, this is my son, Stream.” Next to Jet now stood a much younger green hawk wearing a portion of his feathers in an upright ponytail almost like a headdress. The markings around his eyes were not as prominent as his father’s and the black marking on his beak was also significantly smaller than the older hawk’s but he was otherwise very similar to Jet in appearance. “This is his first big race but he takes a lot after me if you can’t tell, so I can guarantee that he’ll be handing you your ass later.”

“Sure, whatever you say Jet. Catch you later.” Sonic proceeded to walk away from his old rival.

“Hey! Don’t ignore me!”

“Seriously, why are all my rivals so needy?” Sonic sighed.

“Hey.” Boom caught the attention of the Babylonians.

“What?”

“You two married?” He pointed at both Jet and Wave.

“Ew! As if!” Wave was disgusted at the assumption.

“Wow, ok then. Smell ya later.” Boom turned to follow his father who was already some distance away.

Tony, still standing by the Babylonians, opted to exhibit good sportsmanship and greet the feathered competitors civilly. Shaking hands with all present members of the Babylon Rogues, he said “I’ve followed your career for some time, it’s an honor to meet you. May the best man – or woman – win.”

Jet smirked.

“You really aren’t like Sonic,” Wave noted out loud.

“Like he said, I’m not his kid.” And with that, Tony left to follow his teammates.

Chapter Text

Tony reconvened with Sonic and Boom, finding the father and son hedgehogs sitting high up on some bleachers looking down at the crowd around them.

“Wish they sold like at least peanuts,” mused Boom.

“Peanuts wouldn’t hold me after a morning jog like that,” Sonic retorted.

“How are you two hungry already?” Tony questioned as he sat next to them.

“It’s the speedster metabolism,” Sonic offered. “We naturally burn more calories, so we get hungrier more often.”

“I dunno, dad. Uncle Shadow barely eats and he’s as fast as us. Maybe we just carry a fatass gene.”

“Well Labrador Retrievers have a genetic mutation that makes them feel hungrier more often. Maybe it’s something like that?” Tony offered, wanting to feel included in the conversation.

“Hmm, maybe… but as much as I haven’t checked my ancestry, I’m pretty sure no Labradors have snuck their way into the Hedgehog lineage. Also, we all know Shadow is weird so he’s not the best example for a control subject—"

Right before Sonic could finish making his statement, Shadow appeared right behind the trio of colorful hedgehogs. “I’m not intruding, am I?”

“Geez Shadow, what the...” Sonic cleared his throat before continuing, “… hell?”

“Speak of the devil,” Boom added.

“Ran into the Chaotix while signing in. Dusk and Twilight should be fine though.”

“Those registration packets were tedious. And long.”

“You breezed through it just fine, sir – I mean Sonic.”

“Only cuz I’m fast. Was Espio the one filling out for them? You know the freak is a speed reader.”

“No, it appears that it was Vector doing it.”

“Ah, so they’re still over there. I can just see Vector squinting at the sheet and rereading the same question for the third time while Charmy babbles some brainrot.”

“Has Uncle Charmy always been like that?”

Sonic and Shadow both respond with a resounding “yes.”

“So Shadow,” Sonic turned around to look at Shadow more directly, the black hedgehog still standing on the bleacher one row behind. “What’s with the biker look?”

“Cuz I felt like it. Why the skintight racing suit? I thought you were clothing averse.”

“Tony suggested it.”

“It’s a staple of racecar drivers so I thought it’d be cool if we raced in something similar.”

“Racecar drivers? Oh right, you’re from the continent. Like Rouge.”

“What is Aunt Rouge up to?” mused Boom.

“You mean your future mother-in-law? Who knows. Last thing she told me was ‘have fun, knock ‘em dead, and if you see any nice jewelry, send it my way.’ All by text message.”

“When was that?” Sonic asked.

“This morning.”

“Oh, so she knew you were gonna race.”

“Only because she asked me what I was up to today.”

“Oh. I see. You’re not getting her the jewelry, are you?”

Shadow scoffed. “Heck no. If she wants it, she can get it herself. I’m not a pickpocket.”

“Dude, the night we met, you had just robbed a bank.”

“For the chaos emerald. That’s different from pickpocketing.”

“Still stealing.”

“Ah, so it’s all fine and dandy when you beat up your rivals for their emeralds but if I take an emerald from a corrupt institution, it’s stealing.”

“I needed the emeralds to beat the time eater. You needed the emerald to power a planet ending weapon. Intent of use makes a big difference.”

Shadow’s eyebrows scrunched up more than usual as the black and red hedgehog looked down upon the smug face of the older blue hedgehog looking up at him. “You do realize that if I hadn’t known how to power the eclipse canon, you, Amy, the rest of our friends, and all of humanity would have likely been consumed by Black Doom and his legions by now.”

“I do appreciate not being turned into alien baby food.”

“Exactly. You owe me.”

“Mhmm, just like you owe me and Amy, and Rouge.”

Silence befell the all-male prickle before Tony broke it with a “talk about toxic masculinity.”

Laughter erupted amongst the group, mostly from Sonic and Boom.

“Is he like this with all his friends?” Tony asked Boom.

“Shadow’s uptight with everybody, don’t worry about it,” Sonic responded.

“And Sonic has a strange way of acquiring and maintaining friendships. More likely than not, he has tussled at least once with nearly everyone his kids call Aunt or Uncle, including me,” added Shadow.

Sonic shrugged.

“Not to mention that he has also flirted with nearly all of them as well,” continued Shadow.

“Hey, now wait a minute now…”

“Boom, would you like to know what your father and Knuckles did at his bachelor party?”

“Whose bachelor party?”

“Your father’s.”

“Shadow, don’t.”

“Attention please. All those who have finished registering for the Grand Prix, please wait inside the stadium. Do not block the entrance or crowd the registration area. Thank you.”

“Why did that sound like Omochao?” Sonic commented.

“It did.” Shadow replied.

“Wasn’t he arrested?”

“That’s what Tails said. That was over thirty years ago, though.”

“Yeah, but medical malpractice is nothing to sneeze at.”

“Who’s Omochao?” Boom questioned.

“This annoying robot built to look like a Chao,” Sonic replied.

“Most unnerving smile you ever did see.”

“If I see that little robot, I might just punch him.”

“You could always drop it off a cliff as it goes ‘let me go!’”

“Oooh, that’s kinda dark, man.”

“My name is Shadow.”

“Was that a joke?” Boom was shocked.

“Yes, Boomer, he does have a sense of humor.”

Shadow’s left ear flicked right before Dusk and Twilight appeared out of thin air right next to him.

“We’re done, dad.”

“Ok. Were they annoying you?”

“Blocked ‘em out, they may as well have been black marks on the wall,” responded Dusk.

“I gave the bee a glare and he shut up after that,” Twilight voiced.

“Good job, kids.”

“Are they still signing up?” Sonic asked.

“Last I saw them, Vector was holding the paper like this and—” Dusk mimed out holding a sheet of paper three inches away from his nose and squinted.

Sonic guffawed.

“Have you been here with Uncle Sonic this whole time?” Twilight asked her father.

“No. I got tired of hiding out in the bathroom so I chaos controlled here about a couple of minutes ago.”

“Aren’t you a little old to be hiding from your exes in public bathrooms, Shadow?”

“Perhaps.”

“Exes?” Tony expressed his surprise at the use of the word by Sonic.

“Oh, right. Tony doesn’t know. So, Shadow and—”

“Attention please. All those who have finished registering for the Grand Prix, please wait inside the stadium. Do not block the entrance or crowd the registration area. Thank you. Registration will be wrapping up soon. Anyone not finished within the next five minutes will automatically be disqualified. Thank you for joining this year’s Extreme Gear Grand Prix!”

“What an annoying voice,” Dusk said while imitating the robot’s intonation.

“Tell me about it,” Sonic and Shadow said in unison.

“You two were in total sync there for a minute,” Boom noted.

“As if I would sync with someone as loathsome as your father, Boomer.” Shadow was quite insulted by the idea.

“Aw, love you too, Shads.” Sonic blew a kiss at Shadow.

Shadow scrunched up his nose and squinted his eyes as he growled in disgust. Sonic laughed.

“So anyway, Shadow and—”

“Chameleon spotted!” exclaimed Dusk.

“Bee!” announced Twilight.

“Crocodile!” shouted Boom.

“They heard the announcement about automatic disqualification and had Espio finish it off for them,” stated Shadow.

“Shadow, sit.”

“Why?”

“Do you want to get spotted?”

Shadow did as Sonic asked and sat. Sonic gestured to Boom and Tony for them to scoot over on the bleachers, allowing him to scoot over as well, placing him directly in front of the now seated Shadow. The blue hedgehog adjusted his quills and proceeded to plop his head into the eldest black and red hedgehog’s lap, closing his eyes as if making himself comfortable.

“Uh, I think they spotted us,” Boom said. “BEE INCOMING!”

The younger hedgehogs all ducked or leaned back as they braced for the arrival of Charmy Bee.

“Heya, guys! We heard a rumor that Sonic would be racing in the Grand Prix this year but we didn’t think he’d actually go through with it! What up, Boom?”

“Not much.”

“Uh, what’s your dad doing?”

Boom looked at his father then turned back to Charmy. “Napping,” he said nonchalantly.

“In Shadow’s lap?”

“He’ll fall asleep anywhere.”

“I guess that’s what happens when you have five kids…”

Sonic opened one eye to glare at the loudmouthed bee hovering nearby.

“Vector’s only really had to raise you and you give just as much trouble as Sonic’s prickle,” Shadow voiced. “At least his children calm down as they age.”

“Heh, what can I say? We bees gotta stay busy.”

“Huff, huff, huff… Charmy… what did I say about flying off like that? You know I’m not what I used to be thirty years ago,” the poor crocodile huffed as he stood just a few steps lower than the rest of the group. Espio was right behind him.

“Vector, what have I told you about exerting yourself like that?”

“That’s what you get for being old,” Charmy playfully jabbed.

“Why you, little – and Espio, stop nagging me like you’re my wife!”

“But Vector—”

“Don’t ‘but Vector’ me.” The crocodile sat down to catch a breather. “Speaking of wives… Sonic, don’t you have one back home? There’s no need for you to be all over Shadow’s lap like that.”

“Can’t a guy get a nap around here? First buzzing bees, now huffing and puffing crocs and nagging malewives.”

Espio was offended at the idea of being referred to as a malewife while Charmy snickered.

“I take it you’re the Chaotix?” Tony asked.

Vector perked up at Tony’s question. “Why yes, we are. Boys, formation.”

Vector stood up slowly as Charmy and Espio positioned themselves on either side of him and struck a pose. Vector dabbed. “We’re Team Chaotix! Detectives you want on your side.” Vector pointed at the group of hedgehogs as he said this.

“If you’re detectives, what are you doing here?” Boom questioned. “This is a sports competition.”

“We are no strangers to physical activity, right boys?”

“Vector, I’m 47.” Espio spoke up. “Stop calling me a boy. Charmy, on the other hand, refuses to grow up.”

“Come on, Espee. Age is just a number. Don’t let it define you.”

“Don’t call me Espee.”

“Whatever, man.” Charmy said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“As I was saying…” Vector continued. “We’re no strangers to physical activity. In fact, this isn’t my first time at an extreme gear grand prix.”

“Yeah, the grand prix that had no winning prizes set up, so we all had to go home empty handed,” Sonic spoke up, still resting his head in Shadow’s lap with eyes closed.

“Weren’t you the one who said we all had fun?” Shadow questioned.

Sonic’s voice was a pitch lower than usual as he stated, “I was being sarcastic then, Shadow.”

“Oh… Now tell me,” Shadow turned his attention towards the Chaotix, “why are you really here? Are you strapped for cash again? I’m sure you could just rent out your ninja for birthday parties. Or assassinations. Your pick.”

“If you must know,” Espio spoke up in response to Shadow’s inquiry, “our instincts tell us that something is afoot, and the race is a front for some sort of nefarious plot.”

“Wow, real detective talk,” noted Tony.

“Personally prefer Bruce Timm’s Batman,” added Dusk.

“Wha? What does Batman have anything to do with this?” Boom was confused.

“Batman originated as a vigilante detective in Detective Comics during the 30s,” informed Twilight.

“Is that what DC is short for?!”

“Yeah, but pretty sure afoot is a word used by Sherlock Holmes,” Tony said to Twilight, completely ignoring Boom next to him.

“Think there was a Batman/Sherlock crossover once,” Dusk said with a finger pressed to his chin.

“Was there? I know there was a Batman/Dracula crossover, crossovers within the DC universe, with Marvel…”

“Enough with the Batman crossovers.” Shadow interjected.

“Aww, but I didn’t get to do my Batman impression,” Sonic cut in, still pretending to be trying to nap.

“Attention please. All those who have finished registering for the Grand Prix, please wait inside the stadium. Do not block the entrance or crowd the registration area. Thank you for joining this year’s Extreme Gear Grand Prix! The race starts tomorrow, but please stick around to find out what the first course will be. And now a word from our sponsor!”

Sonic opened an eye, and all the others present stayed quiet for the announcement.

“Hello!” A warm, friendly, masculine voice came over the intercom. “And welcome to this year’s Extreme Gear Grand Prix sponsored by Stone Industries.”

Sonic sat up in an instant as the others above the age of thirty reacted in different varieties of surprised.

“Stone Industries, the world’s leader in the tech industry, is proud to sponsor this year’s Grand Prix and we are so glad you have come to join us. Snacks and refreshments will be provided to registered racers in just a few moments, along with the announcement of the first racetrack! Sit back, relax, and remember, to rethink the Stone Age.”

The three teams remained in stunned silence for a brief moment.

“Stone is sponsoring the race this year?!” Sonic exclaimed in surprise.

“Well, that was unexpected…” Vector stared off into space.

“Thirty years quietly building a tech empire just to show his face here again…” Shadow quietly mused.

“Um, you guys have some history with Stone Industries?” Tony asked.

“History? History? Listen to the kid,” Charmy pointed at the young burgundy hedgehog with his thumb.

“Yes, we have history with the founder of Stone Industries. Ignore the bee-brain, uh…” Espio was at a loss for what to call Tony.

“Tony.”

“Bee-brain? Why I oughta give you a good sting!”

“Charmy,” Vector groaned.

“Stone was this guy that teamed up with Eggman during this really dark time…” Sonic started explaining, trailing off as he looked down at the bleacher in front of him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Sonic had been defeated and imprisoned by the good doctor, who then presented it as the death of Sonic and proceeded to conquer the world.” Shadow continued the story.

“And you guys let him?” Boom cut in, sounding indignant.

“If any of us other than Tails were at the scene, I can assure you Eggman wouldn’t have gotten away with it,” Shadow snapped back at the young blue hedgehog. “Well, any of us other than Tails or Charmy.”

“Hey!”

“I was away on assignment with Rouge and Omega. When we came back, GUN had been defeated, humiliated, and dismantled. Very few agents took up the deal offered up by Eggman, one of them being Stone. He already held a grudge against GUN, so it was very easy for him to walk away.”

“He was not the only one to team up with Eggman during those dark six months,” Espio added. “Many petty criminals and gangbangers sided with him for the perks he offered.”

“Yeah, apparently if you worked for him, you didn’t have to deal with food rations,” Charmy pouted.

“Or monthly taxation,” added Vector.

“At least you guys didn’t have that nutcase Starline poking and prodding you at least once a week,” Sonic interjected.

Shadow and the Chaotix all stayed quiet for a solemn moment after Sonic’s statement.

“Yeah, I remember some of that stuff from history class,” Tony spoke up. “My dad says it was really bad to move back into Station Square a year after the flood just for all that crap you mentioned to happen.”

“That ‘flood’ was Eggman’s fault too. Not that any of you guys were there,” Sonic mentioned.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Shadow continued. “Stone teamed up with Eggman, then after we defeated Eggman, he was very loosely allied with Starline for some time.”

Sonic sat up straight again. “Then a green wannabe killed Starline and the world has been a lot quieter ever since. The end.”

The youngsters all looked at each other, confused by the phrase “green wannabe”.

Boom decided to be the one to address this. “Dad, you have too many green wannabes. Which one?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

The four young hedgehogs looked at each other again, but this time Tony was the one to raise a question.

“So when you say the world has been a lot quieter since this Starline’s death, that includes this Stone guy too?”

“Yeah. He disappeared into the woodwork.”

“As much disappearing into the woodwork one can do while becoming the face of a global tech empire at the very least,” Shadow added.

“Yeah, I meant in the conquering the world sense. Obviously.”

“FOOD!”

Boom, Dusk, and Charmy all got up and raced down the bleachers towards the food stands now set up in the center of the stadium.

“Hey! Wait for me!” Sonic shouted before balling up his body and bouncing down the bleachers to catch up with the hungry boys.

Shadow, Twilight, Tony, Vector and Espio all watched as their hungry cohorts ran off. Shadow shook his head.

“Hey, dad. That looks like a coffee cart down there,” Twilight pointed.

Shadow gasped. He turned to face his daughter. “Wanna see if it’s the Mean Bean?”

Twilight nodded before taking hold of her father’s hand and disappearing along with him.

Tony sat quietly on the bleachers with his hands clasped, realizing that he had been left alone with Vector and Espio.

“So… which one of you guys dated Shadow?” he asked.

The fuchsia-colored chameleon turned bright red before disappearing from sight.

Vector crossed his arms as he said “I thought you had that under control.”

“Some poker face. This race is going to be very interesting.”

Chapter Text

Shadow walked up to a nearby hot dog stand with a coffee in one hand and a scone in the other. Twilight followed close behind.

“Dusk. Remember, we have to stay in tip top shape for this race so don’t go overboard.”

The younger black hedgehog standing near the hot dog stand turned only about a quarter of his face to acknowledge his father. “Hmm.” The only noise he could make while chewing on a hot dog.

Next to him, Sonic made a 180 degree turn to face Shadow. “You talking to me?” The blue hedgehog held a chili dog in each hand.

“I said Dusk,” Shadow snarled.

“Didn’t hear that part. Shadow’s right though, guys. We can’t afford to splurge too much if we want to win.”

At that moment, Boom turned away from the hot dog vendor with three freshly acquired chili dogs, held in pyramid formation between his cupped hands. “Damn.”

“Starting tomorrow, obviously,” added Sonic. Then he took a good look at Shadow. “Is that a chocolate scone?”

“It’s either this small pre-race indulgence or getting disqualified for punching someone’s face in. I’d prefer to stay in the race.”

“Of course.”

“Where’s the bee?” Twilight half-whispered.

“There’s a BEE???” Dusk and Boom quoted in unison.

Twilight turned to her father. “Can I?”

“No.”

“Darn.”

“If you’re talking about Charmy, he went to the cotton candy stand. And I think he was getting something from the juice stand too,” Sonic offered while chewing on one of his chili dogs.

“Ok.”

“Your parents taught you better manners than that, Sonic.”

“They did.” Sonic continued chewing for a moment then swallowed. “But living by such strict rules is so boring. And restricting.”

“Hmph, at least I wouldn’t have to see your food going through step one of digestion if you did.”

“Sure, whatever. I might get myself a juice after this.”

“Juice? With chili dogs? Nah, this calls for Chaos Cola,” declared Boom.

“As much as I would like to agree, that’s just straight up sugar. Besides, a fresh squeezed fruit juice is nice and refreshing on a day like this.”

“Nah, I’m with Boom here. Chaos Cola all the way,” spoke up Dusk after finishing off his hot dog.

“Have it your way, kids. Once I finish up with these dogs, I’m gonna check out the juice stand.”

“Hello again, Grand Prix racers! Hope you’re enjoying the tasty treats lovingly prepared by our food vendors. Now it’s time to announce the first course!” Omochao’s voice came over the intercom.

“Already?”

“But first, we’d like to remind you of the rules stipulated in your registration forms. We encourage roughhousing and use of certain authorized weapons on the tracks, but please leave that tension for the racetrack. We want all racers to have a pleasant time when not racing so we warmly encourage friendly socializing and fraternizing with your fellow competitors. No violence off course or you will be disqualified.”

As the robotic voice prattled on, Sonic rolled his eyes and used his now free hand to gesture a lot of talking.

And boy did that robot prattle on. Shadow was able to finish off his coffee and scone, the latter of which he allowed Twilight to take bites out of. Sonic, having read through the registration packet not too long before and not having much patience or interest in the repetition, was able to acquire a juice to wash down his chili dogs with. Boom and Dusk got Chaos Cola from a vending machine. Charmy eventually regrouped with the hedgehogs after getting his sugar fix. And closer to the entrance of the arena, a green hedgehog appeared and fraternized with the Babylon Rogues for a short time before disappearing again.

“… and now, without further ado, we will announce the first course!”

“FINALLY!”

The large crowd gathered in the center of the arena all turned their attention towards the source of the interruption: Sonic the Hedgehog.

“Ahem, anyway… Without further ado, the race will begin tomorrow at 10 am sharp with the crossing of the South Sea!”

“WHAT?”

Once again, the crowd turned to look at Sonic.

“That’s right! The first challenge for our racers is crossing the South Sea from our current location to the first racetrack, located on Westside Island!”

Many groans were heard among the crowd.

Shadow, on the other hand, chuckled. “This looks like fun.”

“I hope you have your team leaders picked out, because they will be the heavy lifters for this leg of the race. Team leaders will haul their teammates across the open ocean, so they better be strong and fast.”

Dusk, now standing next to Shadow and Twilight, said “we got that in the bag.”

“That doesn’t mean the rest of the team can slack off though. Remember, this is open ocean and there are many dangers out on the water, so the other teammates must ensure the safety of the whole team.”

“Should we get Tony a gun?” Boom asked Sonic.

Sonic sighed. “I miss Tails, Boom. I miss him a lot.”

“What does Uncle Tails have to do with giving Tony a gun? I bet Uncle Shadow has one in his back pocket or something.”

“He means he misses having the old Team Sonic,” Shadow replied. “Tails and Knuckles would have served as his defense if they were here. But instead, he has you and Rosie’s paramour. Not that you aren’t capable. You did manage to survive two years in the wilderness… although I think it more because both your older sister and Knuckles’ daughter were accompanying you as well…”

“Paramore? Like the rock band?”

“No, Boom.”

“Good luck, Sonic.” Shadow turned to look over his shoulder at the blue hedgehog. “You’re gonna need it.”

“…so if you missed anything, come to the shoreline tomorrow morning at 9:45 for the recap! Enjoy the rest of your day, mingle, and plan your winning strategy. See you tomorrow, racers!” And with that, Omochao finally shut up.

“It’s like they knew Sonic the Hedgehog was going to race and that his biggest weakness is water,” Charmy said, looking rather smug as he did.

“Is it too late to punch Jet in the face?” Sonic mused out loud.

“It’s never too late to follow your dreams, dad.”

“You’re right, Boom. Wait right here.” Sonic turned around as if to walk away but unfortunately for him, his son didn’t let him get too far.

“Wait just a minute. You’re not getting us disqualified just to avoid water. How many of your adventures had you underwater for a good while? Heck, you mentioned being involved in the Station Square flooding. You’ve never been one to turn the other way and run just because of a few feet of water!”

“One: too many times did I end up underwater thanks to chasing after Eggman. And no, the levels did not always start underwater. Two: your mother was right about me being reckless when I was younger but I’m not exactly a spring chicken… spring hedgehog anymore. I can’t be running headlong into danger like I used to. There’s consequences to that.”

“Dad, one: you were born in the summer and two: there’s consequences to everything. For example, not wearing a condom. And you did that a few times.”

Sonic’s eyebrows were scrunched up as he stared down his son, clearly resenting the last comment.

“From what I’ve heard, you’ve made plenty of risky moves before so one race across the ocean should not be making you wanna turn tail and run back home to an empty house.”

“I guess you’re right,” Sonic said, sounding very resigned. He shrugged. “Guess I’ve been away from this for so long and playing it safe that I forgot myself for a moment there.”

“Mhmm. Besides, Shadow wouldn’t let you live it down that you quit the race before even competing in it.”

“No… NO! I CAN’T LET JET THINK I WIMPED OUT EITHER!”

“There goes that toxic masculinity again. We really should do something about it,” Tony had come down from the bleachers to find his teammates, and just in time too.

“Look, dad. We’ll just hang out, see if you recognize anybody else that’s racing, and then we can discuss how we’re getting to Westside Island.”

“I used a plane first time.”

“Oh right, the Hedgehog coming of age rite?”

“No, that was how I found South Island.”

“Aren’t we on South Island?” Tony asked.

“Mhmm.” Sonic and Boom both nodded in response.

“So you’re not from South Island?”

“Nope. Born on Christmas Island, like pretty much every other Hedgehog before me,” Sonic responded.

“I’m new gen so I’m from South Island, born and raised,” added Boom.

“Ah, ok. Was it hard to pick one place to live out of everywhere you’ve been, Sonic?”

“Well yeah but why are you changing the subject, Tony? We have a whole race in front of us right now.”

“Yeah, a race hinging on dad not being scared of water.”

“Dude, you’re making me regret not wearing a condom that night…”

“Alright, alright, settle down guys.” Tony stood in between Sonic and Boom to make sure the two blue hedgehogs did not start an altercation with each other. “All we have to do is put our heads together in a constructive way and figure out the best way to tackle this. Sonic.”

“Yes?”

“You’re our team leader, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’ll be leading us during this leg of the race, right?”

“I guess…”

“Dad, aren’t you the fastest thing alive?”

“With the exception of Rosie,” Tony added.

“Yeah, but she’s not here. Dad, you can run on water, right?”

“Yeah, you should be fast enough to run on water.”

“I’ve done it before but there were solid objects I could run on as well back then. And also I don’t have the best rap with sea life.”

“Bullsh*t! Didn’t the orcas help you at Seaside Palace??? And even if those orcas decide that you look like a snack, I’ll be there to homing attack those overgrown dolphins in the face. You got that?”

“Yeah.” Sonic leaned in towards Tony and took on a hushed tone as he said, “Started sounding like his mom there.”

“HEY.”

 “What? ‘s nothing wrong with that. More proof that you’re our kid.”

“Hmm.”

“Alright, we’re getting somewhere. Sonic’s still taking the lead for the team, Boom leads in defense.”

“Yeah, but we gotta arm you with something, Tony. You’re technically defense too.”

“I am?”

“Did no one pay attention to the announcement?! The other team members gotta serve as defense cuz team leader will be too busy pulling everybody else’s weight. Literally. By the way, dad, how much can you pull?”

“Never really measured it? But I’m fast and strong, pulling you two should be a breeze.”

“No, I think we need to go and measure it right now.”

“Come on, Boom. I don’t think that’s necessary—”

“We can start with Uncle Shadow’s motorcycle. He parked it outside, right?”

“Boom, I don’t think that’s a good iDEA!”

Tony watched as his two blue teammates sped off without him, Boom dragging his father behind him against his will.

“Ok, then. I can either hang out with Shadow and his kids or with the Chaotix… think I’d rather hang with Shadow.” Tony turned around to look for the ensemble of black and red hedgehogs in the crowd around him.

Tony weaved through the crowd until he saw three black and red distinctly quilled heads. He headed towards them. They seemed to be scoping out the competition.

“They don’t seem like much of a threat,” Tony could hear Shadow saying as he approached.

“Who do you think is going to be our worst competition?” Twilight asked her father.

“Well, we definitely have to keep an eye on Sonic’s team. Time will tell if he has a winning combination there, but Sonic is Sonic. He always pulls through. The Chaotix are not the most competent outwardly but they’re not afraid to get down and dirty. The Rogues are most likely to cause the most trouble. We’ll have to keep a very sharp eye on them, especially their mechanic. Her intellect makes her the most devious one of the three. They’re also notorious thieves so make sure you have your belongings on you at all times.”

“Roger that!” replied Dusk, saluting the older male hedgehog.

Just as Tony was about to greet them once again, all three black and red hedgehogs whipped their heads towards a loud feminine “HI!!!”

A black-haired yellow cat donning a frilly red sleeveless dress with black and white trim on the hem approached. Her outfit didn’t seem very appropriate for the sport at hand, maybe she wasn’t a racer, Tony thought. Then he realized that the cat was very familiar, like he’d seen her somewhere but couldn't place where…

She stood in front of Shadow, looked him up and down and cheerfully handed him a business card with a cheeky little smile on her face. Shadow looked at the card, confused and hoping the small piece of cardstock would give him an answer.

“My number’s on there. Call me!” The cat turned around and ran off, waving bye and winking at Shadow as she did.

“Dad? Who was that?”

“Wait… was that Honey the Cat?!?”

Shadow, Dusk and Twilight turned around to find Tony standing behind them.

“Yes, it was… can I help you?” Shadow asked.

“My teammates left me in the dust…”

“Ah, the dust.” Dusk nodded.

Shadow slapped him in the chest with the back of his hand.

“And I thought maybe I could hang with you guys? My only other option really were the Chaotix so…”

“Sure, you can ‘hang’ with us. You seem tolerable enough.”

“Thank you. Do you always attract celebrity attention?”

“Eh, it all depends. I am very popular with the ladies. Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?” Dusk was incensed. “Man, if I had women throwing themselves at me like that, I’d be taking full advantage of it.”

“That’s very concerning. I meant unfortunately as in I generally can’t reciprocate.” Shadow looked at the card in his hand after he said this then pocketed it. “I’m keeping this.”

Tony studied the three near-identical hedgehogs. They had certain subtle differences that any observant person could use to distinguish between them. For one, Twilight was the shortest, had longer quills, and her red markings were larger and more pronounced. Other than that, and her heart shaped chest marking in place of the tuft of chest fur, she could have passed for Shadow’s twin. Dusk was the tallest of the three and his quills didn’t curve so much like the other two but instead seemed to just trail behind his head. If there were any other physical differences, Tony couldn’t see them now. And of course, there was the difference in voice. Shadow’s was the gruffest sounding. Twilight sounded disinterested in everything. Dusk was the odd man out with his clear, boyish voice.

“Why are you keeping it? Not like you’re gonna date her or anything,” Dusk complained.

“None of your business,” Shadow practically hissed at the younger hedgehog. He then placed his hands in his pockets and focused his attention on Tony. “So, Tony was it?”

“Yeah?”

“What brings you here?”

“To the race? Well, Mr. – I mean Sonic – needed someone else to round out his team and I’m really good at skateboarding so—”

“No, I mean to our island. You could have easily stayed in Station Square. I’m sure you left behind everything and everyone you ever knew just to come here.”

“Yeah, well… I wasn’t amounting to much back home and the idea of traveling the world and getting to see the sights sounded cool when Rosie and Boom told me all about it, so I figured why not join them?”

“You could have gone back home once the trip ended. Rosie, Boom, and Blush all opted to return here once they felt satisfied with their travels.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to see what the islands were like.”

“How’d you meet Rosie?” Dusk asked.

“Yes, how did you meet her?”

“She fell out of the sky and into my mom’s rose bush and… why are you interrogating me?”

“No reason. Just curious.”

“Mhmm.” Tony was starting to feel like maybe he should have chosen the Chaotix instead considering that Shadow had started probing him for who knows what reason.

“Tony…” Twilight spoke up. “Would you happen to know where Blast is?”

“Twilight…”

“Oh god, Twilight. You and your stupid little boyfriend.” Dusk threw his head back and rolled his eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Twilight yelled at her brother. There was some mild blush on her cheeks.

“Could you two stop?” Shadow shook his head then sighed. “I can’t help but see the parallels between this one’s little puppy love,” he said while nudging his head towards Twilight, “and what you and Rosie have going on. Just be forewarned, it took her father years to ever admit to how he felt towards her mother. And Rosie takes a little more after Sonic than after Amy despite having the same fur color as her mother. You might end up wasting the better years of your youth waiting around for someone that might never reciprocate your feelings. Or worse, refuses to despite feeling the same.”

“That’s fine.”

The three black hedgehogs looked at Tony in wide eyed shock.

“You’re fine with that? Dude, you’re hopeless.” Dusk shook his head in amusement.

“Yeah well, I just want her to be happy. And if for any reason I’m not part of that happiness, I’m fine with that. I’m cool with her only wanting to be friends if that’s the case. But I couldn’t go back home without trying or leaving it as a what if, you know?”

Shadow’s eyelids lowered and his lips curled into a small soft smile. “And here I was worried that you might hurt her and I’d have to give you a piece of my mind. Don’t worry, I would have gone easy on you.”

“Yeah, didn’t you take out your own dad?” Dusk asked.

“Shh, he was a deadbeat that only wanted to use me for his evil plans. Twice. He had it coming. Tony, on the other hand, I would have left alive.”

“You never answered my question,” Twilight brought up.

“Huh? What was your question again?”

“Where’s Blast?”

“He’s in good hands.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow and looked particularly disappointed and worried.

“He’s fine. You might even see him in the audience. Heard his babysitter mention possibly taking him to watch the race.”

Twilight perked up again at this. Shadow studied her, now with his arms crossed.

“You guys looking forward to the race?” Tony asked the twin teens.

“Yep! I was born ready!”

“Yes. I’m very much looking forward to this,” Twilight said in her muted way.

“Is Sonic still going to participate?” asked Shadow.

“Yep. Just face it, you can’t get away from me, Shadow.” Sonic was standing a few feet behind Shadow with Boom at his side. He was breathing heavier than normal, clearly having exerted himself more than usual.

Shadow didn’t look very amused. “That damn hedgehog,” he muttered under his breath. “Well then, prepare to have your ass handed to you, hedgehog.” Shadow looked over his right shoulder towards Sonic and smirked.

Sonic smiled in return.

“You sure you guys aren’t gay?” asked Boom.

Chapter Text

The seashore was teeming with life. Crowds of extreme gear racers were dotted across the shore as they awaited the start of the race. Some had come for the 9:45 recap, others had just started to arrive to take their places at the starting line. Among these were Sonic and Shadow’s respective teams.

“So for this leg of the race we don’t have to use our extreme gear?” Dusk asked.

“That’s what I understood. It’s still highly encouraged to use extreme gear for this but I think I’ll save my juice for the next leg,” said Shadow.

“Are you going to run on the water?” Twilight asked.

“Heavens no! The wiser course of action would be to reserve my energy for the later stages. And I am not about to burn myself out crossing the ocean.”

“Aw, so you’re finally admitting that you can’t match my effortless speed?”

“No, I never said – what happened to you?” Shadow’s expression went from annoyed to confused as he looked Sonic up and down, all with his arms crossed.

“I might have gone a little overboard at breakfast,” Sonic said. The upper part of his racing suit dangled below his waist as his stomach was too bloated for it to zip.

“Yeah, and you said we were going to cut back on splurging starting today,” Boom said very dryly.

“That was before I was recommended to load up on carbs before a race.”

“There’s a difference between eating a carb heavy meal and getting heavy off of carbs, dad.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Sonic held his arms akimbo and looked at his son rather annoyed.

“Well look at you, looking all sexy in that tank top right before the race,” squawked a voice behind Sonic. “You’re gonna have to do better than that though if you think you can distract me into losing.”

Sonic sucked in his gut before turning around. “Jet? Hate to break it to you, but I’ve been off the market for a long while.”

Shadow and Boom both shook their heads, Boom also rolling his eyes as he did so.

“I- I wasn’t hitting on you!” Jet’s face looked a bit flushed as he exclaimed this.

“Uh-huh, suurrrre you weren’t. Fellas, was he or was he not hitting on me?”

“He was hitting on you,” Shadow said flatly.

“There’s no heterosexual explanation for calling your rival sexy in a tank top,” added Boom. “Or sucking in your gut in order to talk to your rival for that matter…”

Sonic sneered at Boom and held his hand on his stomach, which he was still holding in.

“Really though, how do you hope to win against us?” questioned Wave, her right arm resting on the top of her extreme gear board. “You don’t even have your little fox friend with you this time. What if one of your boards needs a tune-up? Or worse, goes kaput?”

“You’re talking to a guy that managed to fly a plane with a jungle vine holding the engine together, I think we’ll be fine.”

“You what?” Boom sounded like this was news to him.

“And besides, my secret weapon this time around is Tony—”

“Is that Jet the Hawk???” Charmy flew in, his question overlapping Sonic.

“Tony Hawk? Where?” Jet looked around confused. “I didn’t know he could handle extreme gear.”

“Uh, Tony isn’t a hawk. He’s a hedgehog.” Sonic was not amused.

“No, I think he means the skater from the continent,” Tony brought up.

“Oh! That guy. Shouldn’t he be retired already?”

“Weren’t you retired, dad?” Boom retorted.

“I retired from kicking megalomaniac ass when I ran out of megalomaniacal asses to kick, not so much from racing.”

“Then why didn’t you join the racing scene again before now?” Jet asked.

“Didn’t feel like it.”

Jet squawked in offense. Shadow chuckled behind Sonic.

“Charmy, shouldn’t you go back to the rest of your team?” Sonic asked the bee.

“I’m not a kid anymore!” Charmy pouted.

“You sure about that?”

Charmy glared at Sonic.

“Whatever, just go. Someone needs to make sure Vector and Espio aren’t making bets they won’t win.”

“Ha! They do that even if I’m right there. But I do like watching them lose.”

“Idiot, you like watching them squander your rent money? Your paycheck?” Shadow questioned.

“What?! NO!” Charmy finally flew off to make sure his cohorts were not squandering their life savings.

“Now if we could just get rid of Jet,” Sonic muttered.

“There you are!!!” A feminine voice said some distance away behind Shadow.

Shadow opened his eyes wide right before getting glomped from behind.

Everyone stared at the scene in front of them: Shadow standing stiffly with his arms crossed in front of him, eyes wide, as a black-haired yellow cat in a red racing suit hugged him from behind.

“I was looking all over for you!” Honey said, then unwrapped herself from Shadow.

“You were?” Shadow was still in shock.

“Honey! There you are. Stop harassing that racer.”

Everyone turned around to see a female yellow mongoose with purple hair, also dressed in a racing suit but hers was purple with green accents. Behind her was a maroon quokka following close behind, looking rather nervous in their forest green racing suit.

“Mina Mongoose??” Boom and Tony were awestruck.

Dusk looked at Shadow. “Can I have that one?”

“No. You’re too young for her.”

“Damn.”

The quokka stepped forward and nervously stated “The-the… all the racers need to be with their teammates at the starting line. And, and the race is going to start in two minutes!”

“Ok, ok. I’ll come back. See ya later, handsome.” After smiling sultrily at Shadow, she turned around and left with the rest of her team.

Everyone else turned to look at Shadow as a fierce blush lit up his face.

“OoOoOoOoOoh,” Sonic and Boom said in unison.

“Stoooop,” Shadow said as he buried his face in his hands. “She… she caught me off guard!”

“Suuuurrre she did,” Sonic teased.

“Some ultimate lifeform,” Jet muttered.

“Weren’t you saying yesterday that you can’t reciprocate when women are attracted to you?” Dusk questioned.

“Shut up, Dusk. I said generally I can’t reciprocate.”

“Hello racers! Are you ready? The race will be starting in less than two minutes. Please group up with your teammates and gather at the starting line.” Omochao announced.

“Where’s the starting line?” Jet’s son softly asked.

“Up ahead,” Wave answered, pointing ahead of her.

Sonic looked at Shadow, then at Jet and smirked. “Last one to the starting line is a rotten egg!” And ran off.

“Wait- get back here!” Shadow ran off after Sonic.

Jet squawked. “Wait a minute!”

“Tony, which one of us is the adult with a wife and kids?” Boom asked.

“It should be him,” Tony answered while somewhat pointing at Sonic with his extreme gear. “Shouldn’t we be after him?”

“Yeah. Smell ya later, rotten egg!”

“Wait!”

Dusk and Twilight exchanged glances with Wave and Stream before disappearing.

“Ugh, they’re cheating. Come on, Stream.”

“Ok.”

Sonic skidded to a halt at the edge of the shore, sand flying everywhere. Shadow slid in right next to him as Dusk and Twilight appeared right behind him and Boom came in right behind Sonic. Tony, then the Rogues, all made their appearance shortly after.

“How the hell did he get ahead of us?” Jet questioned. “He had a delayed start!”

“It seems hedgehogs are just naturally really fast, even if they are uninspiringly boring,” Wave answered.

“Boring?! Tony, you gonna take that lying down?” Boom was insulted on Tony’s behalf.

“Just some trash talk, I can handle it.”

“Hmm. Oh! Speaking of handling, you gotta play defense for this track so here…” Boom whipped a giant hammer out of nowhere and held it out for Tony. “You get Piko Piko privilege today. I looked over the race rules last night and turns out you can have certain weapons authorized for race use. Be gentle with her.”

“Cool.” Tony took the hammer and as soon as he held the tool in his hands, the weight of it made him slump forward. “Whoa!”

“It’s not that heavy. Is it, dad?” Boom turned to Sonic as he asked.

“I’ve held Amy’s hammer before and it’s pretty solid but not really heavy.” Sonic leaned forward to take the hammer out of Tony’s hands a moment and threw it with a twirl before catching it one handed. “Hey Shadow. Is this heavy to you?”

“You know I can flip over eighteen wheelers one handed, right?” Sonic tossed the hammer over to Shadow, who also caught it one handed then twirled it around. “See? Nothing.”

“You guys are all freaks,” cut in Jet.

“Oh really? Shadow?”

“On it. Catch.” Shadow tossed the hammer over to Jet, who fell as soon as the hammer hit him.

“Guys! Don’t throw my hammer around. I may not use her much anymore but she’s still delicate.”

“As delicate as your mom?” Sonic asked.

“Dad!”

“Are you racers ready?” Omochao asked once again.

“Yeah!” the crowd shouted.

“Great!” Omochao appeared and flitted around the shoreline, seemingly inspecting the racers all lined up.

Shadow stood with his arms crossed while Honey and Mina’s team crept in on his left side and Team Chaotix on their left.

“Who’s this broad?” Vector asked when he noticed who was separating his team from Shadow’s.

“Broad??? That’s Honey! And Mina! And… sorry bud, I don’t know you,” said Charmy.

“Barry. I think we did night school together once.”

“Really? I don’t remember.”

“That’s because you slept through night school, Charmy,” said Espio. His arms were crossed, and he glared at the ocean in front of him.

“Alright, looks like everybody’s here!” Omochao cheerfully stated. “Positions everyone! Teammates, tether yourselves to your leader! The race will commence on the count of three.”

“Hey! Omochao!” Sonic called out to the robot.

“Yes, Sonic?”

“Weren’t you arrested?”

“Yes.”

“Then how are you here? Shouldn’t you be in jail?”

“I got out on good behavior!” The robot sluggishly flew away.

“Uh-huh, highly doubt that.” Sonic zipped up his suit and did some quick leg stretches. He strapped his extreme gear to his back while Boom took care of the teammate tethering.

Shadow removed his biker boots and threw them in a backpack that Twilight held. He unzipped his tailored leather jacket and two suspiciously tentacle-like structures appeared from underneath the back of his jacket and wrapped themselves around Twilight and Dusk’s waists. Sonic took note of this but didn’t say anything.

The different teams all lined up, leaders in front with their teammates behind them in V formation, anticipating the start of the race.

Omochao hovered nearby, eyeing the racers, their smile looking rather ominous.

The robot raised its right arm into the air. “3… 2… 1!” A little flag with BANG! written on it popped out of where they would have had a hand. The race had finally started.

Sonic had a head start on everyone, instantly charging up a peel-out before zooming away on the surface of the water. Tony and Boom were on their respective boards. Tony had Boom’s Piko Piko tied to his back.

Shadow ran into the surf then stopped moving his feet and appeared to be surfing along the waves.

Tony peeked over to see what appeared to be a large black manta ray under the original ultimate lifeform’s feet. His eyes widened at the sight of it. Just what wasn’t Shadow capable of?

Dusk and Twilight appeared to be used to this as they simply maintained the posture of water skiers as their father towed them along. They were quite nonchalant about this.

Tony was pulled out of his observation as he heard extreme gear coming up close behind him. He turned in time to see the Babylon Rogues pulling up to the right of his team.

Jet was pulling Wave and Stream along. The hawk looked at Tony for a moment then smirked and sped up in order to try and match Sonic’s speed.

The experienced blue hedgehog turned his head a little to his right then increased his speed. Tony was sure he heard a mischievous snicker come from Sonic as Jet groaned in anger.

“Hey! Wait a minute! He’s cheating, he’s cheating! That dirty Shadow’s cheating!”

Boom and Tony both turned their heads to the left to see Team Chaotix coming up on Shadow’s left. Charmy was pointing at Shadow accusingly whilst Vector revved up his wheel-style extreme gear. Strange that the crocodile was not taking the opportunity to swim.

“It’s not cheating if it’s a natural bodily function,” stipulated Dusk to the bee.

“That’s natural?” The bee pointed at Shadow’s feet.

“For him, yeah. Isn’t Sonic running at nearly Mach 1 right now? On water? Are you gonna argue that as cheating too?”

“Are you racing or are you chitchatting?” A voice yelled from some ways behind them.

Before they knew it, a yellow blur appeared on the water and was in between Shadow’s family and the Chaotix in a flash.

“Hiya. Mind if we cut in?” Honey was situated between Mina and Barry while her mongoose teammate skated at high speed in front.

“Dad! She’s stealing your thing!” Dusk yelled.

“Not like I invented speedskating,” stated Shadow. He looked Mina up and down, who was almost right next to him. “You think you have what it takes to face against the ultimate lifeform?”

Mina smirked. “If you’re the ultimate lifeform, then why is Sonic gaining on you?”

“I like to lull him into a false sense of security.” Now it was Shadow’s turn to smirk.

“Hey guys, how far are we from shore?” Sonic asked.

“From the shore we left or the shore we’re heading to?” Tony asked.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“It is 90 miles to Westside Island,” Espio stated. “We have only gone about a mile and a half out from South Island.”

“You hear that, dad? You gotta make those five hundred pancakes you ate this morning count.”

“It was not five hundred pancakes, Boom. And 90 miles is no sweat. No sweat at all.” Sonic had a rather unsure look on his face despite the little smile he was wearing.

“Hold tight, kids. The waves are getting bigger here.” Shadow adjusted his posture on his manta ray steed and increased his speed.

“Whoa!” Vector exclaimed on the side.

“What was that?” asked Charmy.

“I don’t know, but I just hit something with my wheel I think.”

“Sharks perhaps?” Espio mused. He looked over at Shadow’s team. “If there are sharks here, just know that they do prey on rays.”

Shadow looked over his shoulder at the chameleon with a frown.

“Just ignore him, dad,” Dusk said.

“Hey guys,” Barry spoke up. “I think I spotted something in the water.”

“Ooh! Something pretty?” Honey didn’t sound very concerned.

“No.”

“Damn! I hit something again!”

“Vector, why are we stopping?”

“Oh no, I think it got my air tank this time.”

“I think the Chaotix are dead in the water, dad,” Boom observed.

“Dead dead or they can’t move?”

“Vector’s thing isn’t moving anymore.”

“His thing?”

“The giant wheel thing he’s sitting in.”

“Ah well. Them’s the breaks. He can swim the rest of the way.”

“Hey, what’s that in the water?” Stream could be heard asking his teammates.

“A large red fish?” Wave questioned. “I don’t remember any of the listed fauna matching that description.”

“What are you guys talking about back there?” Jet asked.

“Jet, keep your eyes open. We don’t wanna become fish food this early.”

“Ha, fish food. Good one, Wave. I don’t see Sonic stopping for anything and I’m not stopping either.”

“I didn’t say anything about stopping! Ugh, men.”

“Guys! Look out!” Charmy yelled at the other teams advancing.

Sonic and Shadow both turned their heads then looked at each other.

“Tony! Next to you!” Boom shouted.

A large robotic red fish jumped out of the surf next to Tony.

“A chopper?! I thought we got rid of all those guys!” Sonic exclaimed.

“A rogue badnik? This smells fishy.” Shadow furrowed his eyebrows further.

“So that’s why the whole talk about defense, huh?” Honey mused. “Oh well. Means I get to do something interesting.” The stylish cat flexed her hand and revealed very sharp claws.

“Alright guys, these guys are pretty easy to take out but you gotta be careful they don’t take you out first,” Sonic informed his teammates in tow.

“Tony, you need any help there?” Boom asked.

Tony was struggling to reach the hammer tied to his back. “Uh, I don’t know.”

“Bang,” said Twilight as she pointed a finger gun towards the robotic fish and shot a chaos spear at it. The chopper exploded as they passed it. “Too easy.”

Other racers started screaming as more choppers appeared next to them or attacked their extreme gear.

“Oh, did we forget to mention the school of chopper badniks in these waters?” Omochao’s voice could be heard sounding very chipper as it somehow echoed over the water. “Sorry. Enjoy the challenge!”

“Oh, so running 90 miles over water wasn’t challenging at all,” Sonic said very sarcastically. “Duly noted. Boys, if I stop moving, we lose speed and start sinking. It’s all up to you.”

“Alright! Let’s kick some robot ass, Tony.”