Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” - James 4:7

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Jude followed closely behind his gaggle of friends down St. Marks Place. They huddled closely together a few feet ahead of him, giggling as they hurried to reach their destination and escape the gentle rain that was beginning to fall. Jude wasn’t particularly worried about matching their pace as he felt a few raindrops hit his dark, messy curls. There was something peaceful about the rain. How it almost stung as it hit his already cool skin in the fall air. How the colors from the lights of the nearby bars seemed to dance against the sidewalk as it fell. It calmed his spirit.

He felt he wasn’t as excited as he should be about this outing, but his friends insisted they take him out for a “last hurrah” before he went off to seminary school to continue his journey to priesthood next month. He’d been working hard to maintain his presence in the church, serving his community and fulfilling his duties. It felt like it was finally about to pay off. 

As a postulant he felt that the diocese (and Father Ramirez for that matter) wouldn’t be completely thrilled at finding out that, even against his better judgement, he spent a night at some seedy punk bar in the city right before he was to make an even greater commitment to the church. Still, he wouldn’t be seeing his friends for a while after he left and it was nice to spend time with them. He would have much rather preferred an understated dinner, or maybe even a night at a warm, quiet lounge with a few glasses of red wine.

Jude was startled out of his rumination by his friend grabbing his sleeve and pulling him under an awning. His senses were already being assaulted by the outside of this place. Colorful posters, ripped and covered in stickers alongside crude graffiti, riddled the walls just outside the doors. The smokers huddled outside ensured there was a thin haze of acrid smoke that was unfortunately, completely unavoidable. The sound coming from inside was so loud he could already feel the rhythmic thrumming in his chest.

He cleared his throat, partially due to the smoke, but mostly due to the creeping anxiety budding in his stomach.

“So this is the place, huh?” He let out, his voice almost a squeak as he looked up at the red, glowing neon sign above the door. 

‘The Chapel’

It would almost be funny if it wasn't so disturbing.

“Come on Jude, it’ll be fun to have a night for you to finally let loose, huh?” His friend Lucera grinned. He nodded sheepishly as she pulled him up to the bouncer. He was at least happy to spend time with Lucera, and a bit jealous of how she always seemed comfortable anywhere. Especially in places like this. 

The bouncer was the epitome of terrifying. He had to be at least six-five. Tattoos crept up his neck and face,which was adorned with multiple silver piercings that reflected the menacing red light from the neon sign. The tattoos curled around his ears settling on top of his bald head in an almost skull-like tribal pattern. 

“I.D.” His gruff, deep voice almost made Jude jump out of his skin as he quickly reached for his wallet with fumbling hands.

“I’m old!” Jude spat out, as he attempted to fish his ID out of the tight folds of his wallet, “I-I mean, I’m old enough.. I'm thirty-one. I mean that's probably kind of..old..for this.” He finished his sentence sheepishly as he finally freed the plastic card from its leathery prison, gingerly handing it to the imposing man. The bouncer took it and barely glanced at it before handing it back to him and tilting his head towards the door. 

For some reason Jude felt as if he’d barely escaped with his life. Reality quickly hit him and his relief faded as his friends presented their ID’s in turn and he moved towards the door. 

Into the lion’s den..

As soon as the door was open Jude immediately wanted to turn around, walk back out, and make a bee-line for the nearest church. Hanging against the back wall of the coat check, directly facing him, was yet another red neon sign. Now, Jude had nothing against neon signs. He had a few small ones hanging in his room back home. It just so happened to be that this particular sign was a gigantic inverted cross. 

He swallowed thickly as his friends filed in behind him, making light of the sign with gentle jokes. He put on a meek smile, half-heartedly laughing along as they urged him forward to the coat check.

With his ticket for his coat securely in his pocket he followed the group further back into the open area of the bar, keeping closer than he had out on the street. He looked out over the bar, scanning his surroundings. 

Okay, multiple emergency exits..Good. Not too many people crowded around those..

Jude's eyes settled on the stage, which hosted a small band, pounding out a fast-paced metal song, the lead singer letting out incomprehensible guttural lyrics. Or were they just growls? He wasn't sure, but goodness, it was loud.  

The bar patrons were all clad in similar styles of dress. Lots of black. Some with colorful hair and elaborate makeup, long elegant garments flowing behind them. Others were wearing so many straps and buckles that he wasn't sure how they weren't catching on every chair they walked past. Most were in simple outfits of a t-shirt and jeans. It certainly was an.. interesting crowd. In his pastel polo shirt and blue jeans he felt almost ridiculous in comparison. He quickly tucked the small golden cross he wore around his neck into his shirt.

Something caught his attention as he looked to the corner of the bar. 

A pair of eyes.

One dark and the other pure white, framed with thick black paint. And they were looking directly at him. 

Jude was surprised by his body's reaction as he felt his shoulders relax slightly under the stranger's gaze. Something about it was drawing him in, like there was a magnet in his chest. He had to tear his eyes away as he felt his chest hit Lucera's shoulder. He quickly muttered a quiet apology, shaking his head slightly as he brought his mind back to focus on where he was walking.

She stopped walking and turned to him, allowing some distance to form between them and the rest of the friend group. 

“Hey..” She asked gently, reaching for his hand, “You good? I know this isn't your usual scene, but..” 

He was always grateful for Lucera. She had always been an amazing friend to him since their time in college together back in Poughkeepsie. She was with him through some of the most trying times of his adult life, and was unwaveringly supportive. Even if she wasn't afraid to hit him with hard truths. 

She seemed unfazed by the chaos around her, which made sense. This was her element. Her people, her music. The way the colored lights danced on her tight blonde curls and dark skin seemed natural on her. As if this was where she was meant to exist. He nodded down at the shorter woman who didn't seem convinced. 

“I'm okay, I promise.” Jude said sincerely, squeezing her hand. She raised an eyebrow but seemed to accept this as they continued walking.

He chanced another glance in the direction of the eyes but a wave of faces pushed in towards the bar as the band finished their last song, obscuring his line of sight. With a small sigh he joined his friends as they saddled up to the bar. 

He ordered a red wine. A sweet Roscato. He didn't drink much, but he loved wine. He wasn't a snob about it, and loved trying new varieties when he had the chance. But, tonight was a night to keep it simple. He sipped slowly as he chatted with his friends about everything and nothing. After his second glass he found himself considerably more relaxed. He was laughing along with inside jokes and cringing playfully about embarrassing stories from college.

The MC started announcing another band and his friends started chattering excitedly, standing and walking toward the stage. 

“Jude c'mon!” One of them urged, grabbing his hand.

“No, I’m good,” He chuckled, before finishing the last bit of his wine, “You guys go ahead, I'm gonna get another drink and watch from here.” 

He caught Lucera's eyes and gave her a reassuring nod at her questioning look. 

With a bit more back and forth his friends finally relented, joining the rest of the group at the front of the stage as Jude set his empty glass down on the bar. He sighed softly before looking down as his discomfort began to kick back in. He felt so..out of place here. It wasn't as jarring as it was when he first entered the bar, but he still felt like he was getting odd looks from the other patrons that passed by him. 

He quickly turned around on his stool and tried to flag down the bartender, who was looking a bit overwhelmed herself, serving the rest of the bar. His spine stiffened as out of his periphery he saw a body sit on the stool next to him, setting an empty rocks glass on the bar. Jude took a deep breath before attempting to speak up to get her attention as he saw her stop to chat with another customer nearby. 

“Miss?..Um..Excuse me?..” He said, waving his hand sheepishly and trying his best to project his voice as the next band began to play. His voice was lost over the noise it seemed, as she leaned closer to the other patron to continue their conversation, her back to Jude.

He let out a small huff, sitting back a bit before a stern commanding voice called out from next to him, making him jump slightly.

“Signora!” 

The bartender quickly turned towards them and walked over, smiling at the man seated next to Jude. 

“Negroni, right?” she said, pointing at him with familiarity. 

“Si, and whatever my friend here is drinking..” His voice was low and smooth as silk, with an accent Jude assumed was Italian.

She nodded and quickly turned away to pour the drinks. 

Jude turned to look at the man seated next to him and let out a barely audible gasp as their eyes met.

Those eyes.

One dark, one pure white. 

Jude sat with his mouth agape for a moment before sitting bolt upright. 

“U-Um.. Thank you..” 

The man smiled, gesturing with his hand towards Jude. 

“Pleasure to be of service.”

Jude couldn't help but stare at him as he took in his features. A strong jaw, proud nose, and raven hair that hung oh-so-delicately over his forehead, nearly hiding those eyes of his, which were framed by shallow wrinkles. He had black lipstick on his upper lip and dark circles of black painted around his eyes, making the white one pop all the more. Was it a contact lens? It had to be..

The man seemed to notice where Jude's gaze was drawn and let out a breath of a laugh and pointed to his pale left eye. 

“Family trait.. From my father.” 

Jude's cheeks flushed red in embarrassment as he realized he'd been staring.

“Oh my goodness, I-I’m so sorry that was incredibly rude of me.” He shot out quickly, holding his hands up.

The man simply huffed out another laugh, his smile signifying he was not at all offended.

“Don't worry, caro. I'm used to it.” 

Jude swallowed hard, blushing at the assumed term of endearment before looking down at the bar and fiddling with his napkin. 

“What is your name?” The man asked, leaning forward and ducking his head slightly, as if to keep Jude's eyes on him. 

“Jude.” He responded, looking back up at him, “And yours?” 

“Terzo,” He placed his hand on his chest with a flourish of his wrist and tilted his head down in a small bow before looking back up at Jude. “The pleasure is all mine.”

All Jude could do was nod sheepishly. There was something about this man that completely disarmed him. The discomfort and anxiety that he felt before was slowly and steadily leaving his chest. His presence was comforting somehow, and his charm made Jude want to lean into him.

With that thought, a new seed of anxiety planted itself in Jude’s throat.

This could be bad.

Their drinks arrived and Terzo thanked the bartender before taking a small sip of his drink and turning to Jude, fully facing him. 

“So..,” He started, leaning back slightly and flashing a knowing half-smile, “Come here often?”  

Jude snorted out a small laugh before taking a sip of his wine. 

“Is it that obvious?” He said, smiling sheepishly and gesturing to his outfit, “First time here, actually.” 

“I never would have guessed.” Terzo teased. His eyes raked up and down Jude’s body, as if innocently taking in his choice of clothing, but there was something more in the way he looked over him. A gentle hunger in his eyes. 

This could be very bad.

“What brings you to our humble den of sin?” Terzo asked smoothly, swirling his drink in his hand. Jude couldn't help but stiffen a bit at the phrasing, but quickly shook it off.

“My friends wanted to have a night before I head off to..Uh..School..” He said, his eyes flitting down to his glass before returning to Terzo, “Get me drunk, listen to some shitty bands.” He scolded himself quickly, wincing. “Sorry! Excuse my language.” 

Terzo let out a hearty laugh, leaning back on his stool and placing a hand on Jude’s shoulder. 

“It will take much more than that to offend me, caro.” 

At his touch Jude felt the urge to do the sign of the cross over his chest. An immediate need to repent flooded over him at the way the contact made his blood run hot in the best way.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from- 

Terzo pulled his hand back, his smile still warm as he looked around Jude.

“Where are your friends?” 

Jude took an almost-too-big sip of his wine to steel his nerves before gesturing towards the stage. 

“Somewhere in that mess,” He breathed out, seeing if he could spot any of them in the crowd. It was so..Energetic. Why were they running in a circle? Someone could get hurt. “This is way more their scene than mine..”

“Not your preferred genre?” Terzo asked, following jude's gaze and resting an elbow on the bar. 

“Not even close..” Jude chuckled, turning back to look at Terzo. “My tastes run pretty tame. A lot of pop. I do, like rock though.” 

“Not metal, though.” Terzo confirmed with an amused grin.

“No, no. When my friends asked if I wanted to go see some rock bands play, I assumed they meant, like..Eighties rock cover bands.” He felt a bit foolish at that idea now. 

“A fan of the classics.” Terzo mused, leaning slightly closer. “A man after my own heart.”

Jude felt his smile grow at the opportunity to talk about the music he liked. He'd always been a huge fan of eighties rock. Glam metal and hair metal were the closest he got to any kind of metal. 

“Yes! Queen, Poison, Journey, Ratt!” He quickly rattled off, counting on his fingers. 

“Cinderella?” Terzo asked, resting his chin on his hand with an amused expression. 

“Of course!” Jude squeaked before continuing naming all of his favorite bands and some of their major accomplishments. He was halfway through explaining the writing process of Bohemian Rhapsody and the impact of Queen's theatricality before he stopped himself quickly. He was rambling again. He had a terrible habit of doing that, and he knew most people were simply too polite to stop him. Terzo was probably bored to tears. 

Jude looked up and Terzo seemed like he was hanging on every word, that same smile gracing his features. Jude’s cheeks flushed a bit as he straightened his back, sipping his wine. 

“Please. Go on.” Terzo urged enthusiastically, motioning towards Jude.

Oh good lord in heaven. Jude could have melted. He was actually interested in what Jude had to say? 

Okay, calm down. Deep breaths.

Jude was about to keep talking when a particularly loud song began to slam out of the stage’s amplifiers. The crowd began to thrash violently and it made him jump a bit.

Terzo couldn’t hide his chuckle at Jude’s reaction, and spoke up loudly over the music. 

“This is their most popular song! It is called Vomit!”

“ Vomit ?!” Jude parroted, hand flying to his chest. If he had pearls he would be clutching them.

“Si! It is about the prison industrial complex and how privatization is becoming modern slavery!” Terzo explained, leaning closer to Jude's ear so he could hear him better.

Jude tried to tune his ear to the vocalist's words but no matter how he tried all he could hear was violent shrieking. 

“Insightful.” Jude said, nodding as if he understood. 

Terzo barked out a laugh, leaning away from Jude to spare his ears. He obviously knew he was bluffing. 

Jude chuckled in turn, hanging his head in defeat before shrugging. 

“I tried!” 

“You did! Very convincing!” Terzo nodded, patting Jude on the back with mock assurance. 

They continued listening to the band, Terzo explaining the songs, and Jude doing his very best to pick out the lyrics. He would pump his fist in victory as he called out words that he thought he heard and Terzo would praise him and confirm if he was correct. 

After a while the band finished their set and the pair were giggling like school children at the bar. 

“No, no you did very well!” Terzo laughed, blotting the corner of his eye with a napkin so as to not smudge his eye paint. 

“Thank you very much.” Jude grinned, wiping his own laughter induced tears. “I think my favorite was Blood Phlegm.” 

“Ah yes, the one about the dairy industry.” Terzo nodded in mock seriousness.

“I will never look at milk the same.” 

They both laughed again, Jude bracing himself with a hand on Terzo’s thigh. Terzo placed his hand over Jude's, squeezing lightly as their laughter slowed. Their eyes locked for a moment and Jude's cheeks grew concerningly hot.

Terzo cleared his throat, pulling his hand back and reaching down to pull something small and purple out of his pocket. 

“If you'll excuse me, caro..” He held up a vape, twiddling it between his fingers. “I unfortunately have a crippling nicotine addiction.” he laughed lightly. “Unless you'd like to accompany me for some fresh air..” 

Jude watched Terzo’s hand as he dextrously spun the purple rectangle between his fingers. 

“Um..Yeah, that sounds nice actually.” He nodded, tearing his eyes away to look at him. 

They both stood and Jude straightened his shirt before looking down and noticing how short Terzo was compared to him. Jude was admittedly very tall, standing at six-two. But Terzo couldn't have been more than five-four, maybe five-five. 

Cute..

He shook the thought from his head and followed Terzo. 

Through a set of open double doors leading out, there was a small area fenced in with metal barricades. The sound from inside was immediately dampened as they passed over the threshold into the cool night air. 

It was no longer raining, but there was a considerable chill. Jude almost wished he had his coat, but the wine he had been consuming all night staved off the cold enough for now. 

His ears rang slightly as they adjusted to the quiet chatter and traffic sounds of the city around them. It was a relief to escape the heavy noise cranking out of the bands inside. 

Terzo led them to a more secluded corner, before leaning back against the barricade and taking a long hit from his vape. He seemed to savor the feeling, tilting his head back and blowing the vapor out with a deep sigh. 

Jude couldn't help but stare at his exposed neck, swallowing hard as his eyes devoured the skin. He was brought back to himself as the wind blew the vapor back down, hitting jude with the intense sweet smell of it. 

“That smells like.. Grape bubblegum?” Jude said, somewhat surprised. 

Terzo let His head fall and looked at Jude. 

“What were you expecting?” 

“Not grape bubblegum.” Jude snorted. 

“It's good!” Terzo defended in mock offence. “Very hardcore flavor.” He said, holding his hand up in the devil's horns sign. 

Jude just shook his head, laughing lightly. 

“Honestly,” Terzo started. “I'm trying to quit cigarettes. The smell. Not as good.”

Jude nodded in understanding, watching as Terzo took another hit, the sweet smelling vapor blowing from his nose this time.

“Do you want to try?” Terzo asked, holding the vape out to him. “No pressure.” He added quickly. 

Jude mulled it over before nodding, taking the device from him and looking it over. He tried cigarettes back in high school, so this couldn't be that much worse, right?

He brought it to his mouth, trying not to think too much about how Terzo’s lips had just been wrapped around it  as well, before giving a small inhale. 

Okay that was way different. 

It tasted good, but as soon as it hit his lungs he began to sputter. He doubled over, coughing lightly. 

Terzo patted his back in concern. “You alright, caro?” He asked, leaning down to look at him. 

Jude held a finger up and nodded before straightening. “Yeah..sorry.” he huffed, clearing his throat and taking a deep breath. 

“S’good.” He rasped. 

“Okay, so try again, but take it into your mouth, and then inhale.” Terzo said encouragingly. 

Jude nodded, doing as he said and trying to ignore how the way Terzo instructed him made something inside him stir. He exhaled smoothly. Oh, that was much better. 

“Not bad..” He nodded, holding the vape back out to Terzo. 

Terzo reached out to grab it, his fingers overlapping Jude's. Their eyes locked as his hand lingered. For the first time tonight, the eye contact began to feel like too much. His eyes flit away, looking for something, anything to look at to escape the feeling in his chest he got from those eyes. 

Jude looked over as he saw a couple smoking cigarettes lean in close to each other, one blowing smoke into the other’s mouth. His eyes went wide and Terzo followed his gaze. Jude heard him hum low in his throat in interest. 

“Want to try that?..” He asked, his voice low as he looked back up at Jude. 

Jude’s eyes shot to his and his cheeks flushed. The expression on Terzo’s face read like he was only half-joking.

He wasn't sure what possessed him at that moment. 

“Yeah..” 

Terzo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but seemingly decided to run with it, a seductive smile creeping over his features. 

“Take a hit..” 

Jude quickly did as he was told, inhaling the fruity vapor shakily before he felt Terzo’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down gently. 

His heart was racing as their faces were less than an inch apart. 

“Blow..” Terzo nearly purred, looking up into his eyes. Jude obeyed and Terzo parted his lips, inhaling as Jude blew out. He gave a wicked smile as Jude placed his hands on his shoulders,  digging his nails into them.

“Very good..” Terzo breathed out slowly. 

They both jumped as a loud song began playing from Terzo’s pocket. He removed his hand from Jude’s neck and fished his phone out. He read over the screen and cursed under his breath. 

“Forgive me, caro..I have to step away for a moment. You'll have to endure this next set without me.” He sounded genuinely disappointed as Jude quickly pulled his hands away. “I apologize in advance. I know this next band. Particularly shitty.” A small smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. 

Jude couldn't help the pang of panic in his chest as Terzo turned to walk inside.

“Will you be back?” The question flew from his mouth before he could stop himself. He grew embarrassed at how distressed he felt at the idea of not seeing Terzo again. He cleared his throat, trying to put on an air of nonchalance. “Just..I enjoy talking to you..” 

Jude could've sworn he saw a slight flush in the other man's cheeks in the low light, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. 

“Si, of course.” Terzo nodded quickly. “I just have to, eh..deal with an obligation.” 

Jude nodded as they both started inside.

“Oh um.. I'm not following you. I just h-have to.. bathroom.” He babbled as they both started walking in the same direction. 

“It's over there..” Terzo chuckled, pointing towards the opposite wall. 

Jude nodded quickly, before spinning on his heel and making quick strides to the restroom. 

He burst through the door and locked it behind him quickly, taking a few steadying breaths as he leaned back against it. What was he doing? This was insane. It went against everything he worked so hard for. If anyone from the church found out he was here, let alone flirting with some random man, they might rescind his acceptance to seminary. Years of work, gone, like that. 

He took a long step forward and braced his hands on the sink, taking another sharp breath before splashing some cool water on his face. It was the wine. It had to be. Three glasses wasn't usually enough to make him act out of character, but that had to be it. How else could he explain this behavior? 

To be fair, he always did have this..issue. A man with kind eyes and strong hands always did make his mind wander towards.. less than pious things. But that was usually swept out of his mind with a quick prayer that pushed it deep, deep down and out of sight. 

He looked up at himself in the mirror and sighed at the dark brown, hooded eyes glaring back at him disapprovingly. That's what he needed. A prayer. He looked around the bathroom and recoiled slightly as he finally took in his surroundings. 

The floor was filthy. Wet paper towels were littered sparsely across the tiles in various levels of dryness. Boot prints and smears of dirt painted a trail to the disgusting toilet, the sink and back to the door. Crude sharpie graffiti covered the door, along with the walls and parts of the ceiling. Wet stickers hung off the mirror over the cracked porcelain of the sink. 

Jude closed his eyes, taking a long steadying breath before gathering as many paper towels as he could from the loose roll that sat on the tank of the toilet. He quickly, but carefully placed them on the floor so that he could kneel without contracting some sort of ungodly disease. He knew he didn't need to kneel..But the heaviness in his chest made him feel as if he did.

He pulled his rosary out of his pocket, clasped his hands and pressed them to his forehead before speaking quickly in a breathy whisper. 

“Heavenly Father, I come before you, acknowledging my w-weakness and.. vulnerability to temptation. Please grant me the strength to resist them, and the grace to choose righteousness. Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and guide my thoughts and actions. I trust in your unwavering love and strength to overcome. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen..” 

Jude had to have repeated this at least three times. But, he still couldn't get Terzo’s eyes out of his mind. His smile. His laugh. 

He squeezed his hands tighter together, the beads of his rosary pressing into his forehead almost painfully. His head shot up as there was a knock on the door. 

He quickly shoved his rosary back into his pocket and stood, trying his best not to touch anything as he threw the paper towels onto the already overflowing trash can. 

After mouthing an apology to the heavily pierced man waiting on the other side of the door, he slid back onto his stool at the bar, his knee bouncing nervously. This was supposed to be fun. 

And at this specific moment, he was not having fun.

He looked up towards the stage as he heard small shouts of excitement. The next band must be coming up soon. The audience around the stage was much larger than it had been for any of the other bands. A crowd favorite maybe. He looked up in surprise as another glass of wine was placed next to him. 

“From T.” The bartender said, smiling and giving him a playful wink before she turned to serve other patrons. 

Jude couldn't help the heat settling in his cheeks, as he took the glass, holding it with both hands. 

Terzo ..

 He took a long sip and let his shoulders fall from their tense position up by his ears. He licked the sweetness from his lips as he sighed, turning his attention back towards the stage as the stage lights turned an eerie purple. There seemed to be no introduction necessary as the crowd immediately began cheering at the sound of the opening riffs that were being played by hooded masked figures.

Spooky.

It was a steady beat, not nearly as rushed or disjointed as the previous bands’ sound. It actually sounded good to Jude so far. 

He nearly choked on his wine when he saw the frontman come forward. 

Terzo ? 

Chapter Text

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” - Genesis 3:4-5

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He stood confidently in front of the mic, wearing a long black garment that resembled a cardinal's cassock. A silver inverted cross with a semicircle around the joint hung low around his neck. Jude's heart was beating out of his chest as Terzo began singing. His voice was strong, clear, and sinfully dark. He moved with an elegance, commanding the crowd's attention with a simple flick of his wrist. 

“I am the one that comes..richly endowed..”

Terzo swung his hips suggestively, letting his head fall back as he sang.

Oh. 

Oh my.

Jude felt heat rush between his legs and quickly clamped his knees together, cursing his body for reacting to something so..lewd, and..utterly salacious.

Terzo seemed to be scanning the crowd as he continued singing as if searching for something before his eyes locked onto Jude's. Jude felt all of the breath leave his lungs.

“I am the one lascivious..” 

Jude couldn't look away if he wanted to. Terzo's gaze held as he continued his performance, unblinking. The way this man moved, looked, sounded..It should be illegal. He felt the same magnetic pull in his chest that he did when he first entered the bar. He thought about getting up and working his way to the front of the stage to close the distance between them, but he felt glued to the spot. He was completely mesmerized. 

Before he knew it, the song was over and the crowd was cheering loudly. Terzo waited a beat before starting to speak into the microphone, finally tearing his eyes from Jude's. 

“As most of you know, that is my shitty older brother's song..” He started, earning scattered laughs and a couple of whistles. “But I'd like to play something of my own tonight. If you don't mind..” The crowd cheered louder and Terzo smiled, eyes flitting to Jude once more. 

“I hope you like it..” 

The next song began to play and Jude could tell this was Terzo's element. He should live on that stage, and Jude should live on this stool for the rest of their lives.

This song had a higher energy and Jude found himself bopping along to the steady beat. 

“ Are you ready to swear right here, right row, before the devil?” 

Before the huh?!

Jude’s eyebrows shot up. He listened closely to the lyrics and his shoulders stiffened.

Okay..This had to be their gimmick, right? Spooky satanic church band and their charismatic cardinal front man. There was no other explanation. He found it in poor taste, but that was to be expected. 

Either way he found himself enjoying the music. The view wasn't too bad either. 

Throughout the set, Terzo would continue shooting looks his way and Jude felt his heart flutter every time. He was not even paying attention to the lyrics at this point. He lost the ability to care. He would've laughed at the dirty jokes Terzo made between songs if they didn't send his blood rushing south. What was this man doing to him? 

The band took their final bows before filing off the stage and Jude took a shaky breath. How was he supposed to face him after that? Terzo was practically eye-fucking him up there, and Jude was enjoying it. He fingered the rosary in his pocket, beginning to mumble a quiet prayer before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up with a soft gasp as his eyes met the mismatched pair above him. 

“Like I said, pretty shitty, huh?” Terzo smirked before sitting down next to him. He was still in the cassock, hands clad in black leather gloves and a thin sheen of sweat glistening over his features.

Jude’s walls immediately crumbled as he felt the comfort of Terzo’s presence warm his chest. 

“Not completely.” He teased, “I thought they were pretty good actually. Might have to come see them more often.” 

Terzo seemed to preen at the praise as a drink was set in front of him. He took a sip and swirled the glass thoughtfully. 

“How will you do that when you leave for school?” He asked, a hint of something in his voice Jude couldn't pinpoint. 

“That's a good point..” Jude sighed, resting his elbows on the bar. Once he left for seminary he would barely have time to sleep let alone trek back to the city every weekend and be back for mass on Sunday. 

Terzo cleared his throat, straightening a bit, seemingly shaking off whatever was bothering him. 

“So, what will you be studying?” He asked, his nonchalant tone firmly back in place. 

Jude worried his lip between his teeth and sighed. Might as well rip the bandaid off. 

“Theology..I'm actually going to seminary to become a priest..” 

At that, Jude saw a crack in Terzo's cool facade. He looked genuinely shocked at the information presented to him. 

“A priest ? Like..A catholic priest?” He got out, his voice breaking slightly. 

Jude was a bit taken aback by Terzo’s reaction and couldn't help but chuckle nervously. 

“That's the plan.” He nodded. “I'm sorry, I guess that is kind of shocking.” 

Terzo took a long swig of his drink, nearly emptying the glass. 

“No.. I apologize.” He rasped out. “Just was..not expecting it.” He was obviously trying to regain his cool as he turned back to face Jude. 

“So what drew you to the..Eh, lord's light?” He asked, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. 

Jude felt oddly endeared by Terzo's attempt at casualness. 

“I've just always felt at home in the church..” He admitted, looking down into his wine glass. “I was raised with it. Oddly enough I always looked forward to going every Sunday. My mom used to say I'd get so upset if we didn't go for one reason or another.” He laughed lightly at the memory of his mother begging his six year old self for five more minutes of sleep while he stood at the foot of her bed in his Sunday best. 

“After my father passed, it was a huge source of comfort for me.. Our church isn't the biggest but the community that gathered to help us..I've never felt a greater love. His word moves me. It drives me to do better.. to be better.” 

He let out a soft sigh before chancing a glance back at Terzo.  

He looked somewhat torn, but he was absorbing everything that Jude said. 

“I see..” he said softly, looking down at his hands for a moment. “And your family? Are they also as..eh..Active in the church?” 

Jude let out a small snort. “Absolutely not. Well.. At least my sister isn't. She hasn't been to mass since she was in high school. Especially after she came out as bisexual. My mom still comes occasionally, mostly to support me. When Father Ramirez let me lead a reading once she wouldn't stop clapping between verses.” He sighed. 

Terzo let out a small chuckle, “She sounds like a very supportive mother. She is also supportive of your sister, yes?” 

Jude nodded quickly. “Sometimes a bit too supportive. She’ll hand her number out to women who she thinks are good enough for her.” He laughed.

“Forgive me for prying but..You and your sister..?” Terzo asked carefully. 

“We're..fine?” Jude shrugged. “We're..not as close as we used to be. And she doesn't necessarily agree with my choices. But, we still love each other.” 

A distant look swept over his face as he thought of his older sister. 

She was one of the very few that knew about his.. problem. The last time they spoke was about a week ago, and the terms of their parting were less than ideal.

~~

Jude sat across from Georgie in her living room, his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

“I leave next month..” 

“Are you sure about this?” She asked quietly, her eyes locked onto his. “Jude, you know you can still-” 

Jude sighed, standing. “Listen, I know you hate church, but our church has several gay parishioners now, and father Ramirez said-” 

“No, you don't get to do that. You know why I don't think this is good for you Jude!” She snapped quickly, standing as well. “I have my own reasons for not going anymore, and you deluding yourself like this isn't making it any easier.”

“Deluding myself?” Jude huffed out an incredulous laugh.

“Yes!” She said, throwing her hands up in frustration. “You can't throw yourself fully into this and you know it. And it is going to hurt when you fall back down to earth. But, I will be there to catch you because you're my little brother and I love you more than you know, Jude..” 

Jude needed to deflect. He couldn't face what she was implying. 

“You know I don't have a problem with you being bisexual, but-” 

Georgie’s neck quickly went red. 

“Y'know what Jude? You can hate yourself all you want. But that doesn't mean I have to..” 

The words hung in the air as the siblings stared at each other. 

“Jude… I.”

Jude slowly grabbed his coat and walked towards the door before stepping into the rain.

~~ 

He knew she only wanted him to be happy. To live his most “authentic life”. But he felt that this was it for him. His life with the church was what he truly wanted. 

Wasn't it?

Jude was brought back to the present by a gentle hand on his arm. He looked up at Terzo before blinking a few times. 

“Is.. everything alright?” Terzo asked softly. He seemed tense, retrieving his hand quickly as Judes's eyes shot down to where he touched him. 

Jude straightened, clearing his throat. 

“Yes, sorry.. Like I was saying.. I don't have any issue with her being bisexual, that's not who I am. it's just.. Her hating the church..It's caused a bit of a rift..”

Terzo seemed to visibly relax, letting out a small sigh as he met Jude’s gaze. “I'm sorry. I'm sure that's difficult for both of you..” 

Jude quickly wiped down his face before shaking off the heavy emotions. 

“Enough about me.” He said with finality, “Tell me more about you..”

Terzo leaned back on his stool, holding his hands out in an open gesture. 

“I'm an open book. Ask, and I will do my best to answer.” 

Jude couldn't help but rake his eyes over Terzo's chest. The way the cassock hugged his torso in all the right places could've made him purr if he had a bit more wine in him. His eyes settled on the silver pendant hanging from Terzo’s neck.

“What’s that?..” he asked shyly, gesturing to his own chest where the cross rested on Terzo.

Terzo seemed confused as he looked at Jude's hand. 

“My chest?” He asked, looking down. “Did I spill something?” 

Jude let out a nervous laugh. 

“No.. Your..this.” He said slowly, before working up the courage to reach out and take the pendant in his hand, examining it carefully. It was heavy, and definitely some sort of inverted cross. It was probably just his band’s logo, but Jude was at least interested in the story. 

Terzo seemed to stiffen a bit at the question. 

“Yes..That..Eh..” he started, clearing his throat. “It's called a grucifix.. It's actually a..symbol of my faith..” 

Jude froze, his eyes darting from the necklace up to Terzo’s face. The shorter man sounded nervous, but his features gave nothing away. He remained stoic, as if waiting for an impact he knew he could bear. 

“Which is?..” Jude asked carefully. 

“Satanism.” Terzo said calmly. 

Jude quickly dropped the pendant, but remained still. 

“Oh..Like.. Satan, Satan?” 

“Yes.” 

Jude could see Terzo’s jaw was clenched tightly as he searched Jude's eyes for his reaction. 

All he could do was sit back a bit, letting out a breath. 

Of course this was how he was being tested. A literal servant of Satan sat before him, enticing him with his wiles. His eyebrows knit together as he looked away from Terzo into the middle distance, his mind racing. 

This had to be a test. A test of how quickly Jude would get up and walk away from the handsome man that made his heart race with a single look. The man with the striking eyes that held so much. At first all he saw was the lust and hunger radiating from them. But as the evening progressed he saw kindness..even compassion.

He looked back to Terzo to glean what those eyes held now. 

Fear?

Hope. 

He was looking at Jude like he wanted to say something. Anything. But he was patiently giving him time to process this bombshell of information. 

That's exactly what it felt like. Like a bomb went off in his chest. But as the dust settled. He felt no fear. No disgust or loathing. Only curiosity. Terzo was so kind.. So patient and sweet. It went against everything that he was taught about Satanism. A religion of wrath and gluttonous consumption of sin without repercussions. 

“Tell me more..” Jude said softly. 

Terzo’s tension seemed to lessen a bit as he let out a breath. 

“Well..where to begin?” He asked softly. 

“What drew you to it?..” 

Terzo nodded, taking a sip from his glass before setting it back on the bar. 

“I was born into it.”

Jude listened as Terzo explained, basically, his life story. His father was the highest ranking official of their ministry. He was born with two older brothers that had both inherited his father's title as the.. Antipope? His second oldest brother was currently reigning, spreading the satanic word through music all over the world. 

He was next in line and was currently serving as a cardinal until his time came after his brother's retirement. 

Jude nodded along, listening carefully. Every word should've been pushing him further away, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. 

“As for the practice itself.. I revel in the freedom of it. The acceptance. Serving Him gives me strength to share everything I have with someone without allowing anything to be stolen from me. I have power. I do no harm, take no shit. I have hope. To unite everyone under His word.”

Jude quickly pushed down the pang of jealousy in his chest. 

Sweep it out. Sweep it out. 

“And you're happy?..” Jude asked, looking down at his hands. 

Terzo shrugged lightly. “Si, in most aspects..” He reached down and placed his hand over Jude's. “But part of what I believe is that wanting more happiness..The pursuit of something better..It's something to strive for. If it's within your reach..grab it.” He squeezed his hand gently. 

Jude gasped lightly, looking up into Terzo's eyes. He was so close..he could smell the sweet herbal scent of his drink on his breath. He wanted so badly to lean in and close the distance between them. He was just within his reach..all he had to do was.. grab happiness.  

“Jude!”, a familiar voice called out, causing him to sit back on his stool so quickly he almost fell off of it. Lucera walked up, out of breath from dancing. 

“It's late, they're about to head back to the hotel.” she said before looking to Terzo. “Oh my god, your set was amazing. ”

Terzo smiled politely, nodding in thanks. “Thank you. We try our best..” 

She started to gush to Terzo about how great his performance was when a tall, husky man with a long brown mullet stepped up next to them. 

“T.. It's getting pretty late, man. And the gang is starting to..uh, well.” He gestured over his shoulder to Terzo’s band mates who were holding each other up in handstands while pouring beer into their inverted mouths. 

“Excuse me, I have to handle this..” Terzo sighed with an exasperated tone. He quickly stood walking away towards his rowdy bandmates, the taller man in tow. 

Jude watched after him before returning his attention to his friend. “Um..You guys go ahead. I’ll head back soon.” 

She quirked an eyebrow, her eyes shooting to Terzo and back to Jude.

“We're just discussing our respective theologies!” Jude got out quickly. “He's very insightful.” 

She nodded, seemingly accepting the half-lie. “Just be careful okay? Text me when you leave. If you don't want to go back to the hotel, come to my apartment.” 

Jude nodded, giving her a quick hug and saying goodnight to the rest of his friends. He turned to where terzo was corralling his bandmates. They seemed to sulk like kicked puppies as he wagged a disapproving finger at them. 

Jude couldn't help but giggle at the sight. Terzo looked over his shoulder back at Jude before turning back to the taller man, exchanging a few words, and walking back to the bar. 

Terzo sat back down with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. 

“Keeping them on a tight leash? I thought Satanism was all about freedom?” 

Terzo chuckled in response, “Yes, but not the freedom to make me look like an ass.” He waved at his bandmates as they started to leave the bar before turning back to Jude. 

“I'm glad you decided to stay.” 

Jude blushed, questioning his own decision, but deciding to hold firm. 

“Me too..” 

Jude wasn't sure how much longer they sat there. But it felt like time flew by. They talked about their hometowns; Jude was from Poughkeepsie and Terzo from “near” Montauk, Favorite movies; Terzo explained the cult classic horror movie Spider Baby in horrifying detail after Jude mused over Tim Burton's Batman, before delving into more serious topics. 

“You cannot look me in my eyes and tell me you don't like Cinnabon!” Terzo said incredulously. 

“I'm sorry! I just really hate cinnamon!” Jude laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. 

Terzo dramatically clutched his hand to his chest. “Caro, you drive a knife into my heart..” 

Jude rolled his eyes playfully before the bartender brought Terzo a receipt and his card. 

“We’re closing up, T.”

Terzo fished a bill out of his pocket, handing it to her.

“Have a good night, Vanessa..”

She smiled, walking back to the till to finish closing out the rest of the tabs.

“Did you pay for my drinks?” Jude asked, his eyebrows raised as he spotted more than a few glasses of wine on the receipt before Terzo quickly folded it and shoved it away in his wallet. He simply smiled up at Jude, 

“I am nothing if not a gentleman..” 

Jude’s heart did a flip in his chest, but quickly began to sink. The evening was coming to an end. They would have to part ways soon. Terzo patted Jude’s thigh as if sensing his distress.

“Would you give me the pleasure of going on an evening walk with me?” He asked with an over-exaggerated flourish of his hand, extending it to Jude. “Forgive me, but.. I don’t think I’m ready for this evening to end..”

Jude’s face flushed for what felt like the millionth time that night. Was this a good idea? 

Definitely not.

But he was enjoying the other man’s company far too much to deny him. It was just a walk right? Nothing overtly inappropriate could happen out on the streets and in public, he reasoned. 

He grabbed Terzo’s hand and smiled. 

“I would love to..”

Jude retrieved his coat from the coat check before they stepped out into the uncharacteristically quiet streets. There was still activity, mostly groups of people chatting outside of bars that were also undoubtedly closing, but the bustle of the evening was dying down.

Terzo held out his arm to Jude and Jude couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped at how high the other man had to hold it up as he took it. 

“Has anyone ever told you..You’re fucking tall ?” Terzo said, letting out a breathless laugh. 

“Never.” Jude deadpanned playfully as they started down the sidewalk.

They walked in comfortable silence around the east village for a bit, Jude enjoying the pleasant feeling of the cool air on his wine-flushed cheeks. He chanced glances over at Terzo periodically. He seemed..content. Happy almost. Was he really enjoying Jude’s company that much? He found it hard to wrap his head around. He wasn’t anything special. Maybe it was the “forbidden fruit” of it all. Terzo didn’t seem like the kind of guy that would get off on corrupting a postulant for priesthood..But he could be wrong. Jude certainly wasn’t doing anything to stop his flirting. 

He nearly tripped over his own feet as Terzo stopped in his tracks, holding a hand up against Jude’s chest to stop him.

“W-What? What’s wrong?” Jude asked quickly.

“Cinnabon.” Terzo said, his voice full of determination as he looked across the street. Jude followed his gaze to the Cinnabon shop directly across from them. There was no way it would be open this late, right? He was quickly proven wrong by the flashing “open” sign that shone in the window. Jude barely had a chance to let out a huff of a laugh before Terzo had a hold on his wrist, dragging him across the empty street. 

“You are going to like this, if it kills me.” Terzo said seriously, swinging the door open and startling the young girl behind the counter. Jude gave her an apologetic wave as Terzo stormed to the counter pulling his wallet out of the belt on his cassock. 

“One classic roll, extra side of frosting.” Terzo said. Jude couldn’t help but laugh at how serious he sounded. This poor girl was nearly shaking as she rang up his order.

“Please. Thank you.” Jude added quickly. He had to admit if a man in black robes and heavy makeup stormed into an empty store he was working at, demanding baked goods in such a fashion, he would be a bit shaken up as well.

After the goods were secured, (and Jude left a twenty dollar bill in the poor girl’s tip jar), they stepped back outside walking towards Union Square. Terzo quickly found a bench and pulled Jude to sit with him. 

“I already told you I don't like cinnamon!” Jude laughed as Terzo quickly pulled off his gloves, rubbing his hands together.

“This is not just a matter of taste, caro, this is being objectively right or wrong.” Terzo said pointedly, pulling the lidded cup that contained his prize out of the bag. He pried the lid off of the cup and inhaled deeply as the steam rose from the cinnamon roll. “Ah, do you smell it?” He asked, holding the cup out. Jude inhaled the sweet, spiced scent. He didn't ever have an issue with the smell of cinnamon. It was actually quite pleasant. 

“Smells good.” Jude nodded amusedly. 

“And?..”

“Cinnamon-y?” Jude offered, shrugging. “It’s a cinnamon roll..”

Terzo groaned in defeat, pulling the cup back to his chest. “This is not just a cinnamon roll. It is pure decadence”, he explained, his free hand pinching the air and wagging at Jude as he spoke. “If I could eat nothing else for the rest of my existence, I would die a happy man.” He sighed, reaching in to pinch off a bit of the roll. He brought it to his mouth and took a slow bite before he let his head fall back, a low muffled moan rumbling from his throat as he chewed.

Jude couldn't stop his spine from stiffening at the sound. He watched as Terzo swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing slowly. 

“Fuuuck.” Terzo groaned.

Fuck was right, Jude thought.

He never thought watching someone eat could be so hot..

He shook his head quickly.

“Enjoy it.” He said,clearing his throat and patting Terzo’s thigh. “I wouldn't want to offend you further by wasting it on my poor palette.” He teased, draping a hand over his forehead.

Terzo simply chuckled, taking another bite. “Understood..”

Jude couldn’t help but be amazed at how much he was enjoying watching Terzo effectively demolish this cinnamon roll. How he licked the icing from his fingers, and moaning softly between bites as if he was indulging in the sweetest sin.

He couldn't stop the feeling of blood rushing to his cock as he watched Terzo lick his lips, finishing the last bite of the dessert. 

He had a bit of icing dripping down the corner of his mouth and it made Jude’s breath catch in his throat. 

“You’ve got a little..” Jude started, mimicking wiping his own mouth.

“Eh?” Terzo got out before darting his tongue out to lick around his lips, coming nowhere near the offending icing.

Jude couldn’t help but laugh at the contrast of the suave man wooing him at the bar and..Whetever this was. It was almost endearing.

“No..” Jude chuckled as Terzo continued to try and fail, licking the icing away. “Hold still.” He said finally, reaching up to wipe the drip away with the pad of his thumb. Terzo let out a barely noticeable gasp, looking up at Jude, his mouth slightly agape.

Jude shocked himself as he brought his thumb to his mouth, sucking the frosting off of the digit. 

Terzo was staring up at Jude like he had done the most salacious thing he’d ever seen and it made Jude’s cheeks pinken with slight embarrassment. 

Terzo cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away. 

“Thank you.”

Jude simply nodded as they sat for a bit, the comfortable silence returning. Jude noticed the city was starting to wake up. Commuters were passing by with steaming cups of coffee, chattering on their phones as traffic began to pick up on the street in front of them.

Terzo pulled his phone out of his belt to check the time and cursed under his breath. Jude looked over and saw that it was just past four AM. Terzo turned and caught his gaze

“We should probably get you back to your hotel, eh?” He said, a tinge of sadness in his voice. 

Jude was about to protest, but failed at fighting back a yawn. Before he could speak, Terzo held up a finger. 

“I'll order you a cab. What hotel are you staying at?” He asked, fishing his phone from a pocket in his robes.

Jude blinked in surprise at the gesture but relented. 

“The Rose Inn.”

Terzo looked up from his phone, his eyes wide. 

“Oh..” 

“Is that a problem?” Jude asked, tilting his head slightly. 

“No, no..” Terzo shook his head. “It's just that..That happens to be the hotel I am staying at as well.” 

Jude gave a small gasp before wringing his hands nervously.

“Well..” He swallowed. “I don't see the harm in riding together.. If you're ready to go, that is.” 

Terzo quickly stood, reaching out to hail a cab. 

The ride back to the hotel was pleasant, but Jude could sense a sort of melancholy in Terzo as they chatted. There was a far away look in his eyes when they pulled into the parking lot. As they walked into the lobby together, Terzo placed a gentle hand on Jude’s arm. 

“May I walk you to your room?..” He asked quietly. 

Jude could tell there were no ulterior motives in the gesture. It felt as if Terzo genuinely just wanted to extend their time together as long as he could before saying goodbye. Jude nodded, smiling as Terzo offered him his arm once more. He took it delicately as they made their way to the elevator. 

Jude pressed the button and they quickly made it to his floor. 

Jude led him to his door and sighed softly, pulling out his keycard.

“This is me..” He said quietly. 

Terzo nodded, looking down and removing Jude’s arm from his gently. 

“I..I had a wonderful evening getting to know you, caro..” 

Jude felt a lump form in his throat, surprising even himself as bravery won over anxiety as the next few words spilled out of his mouth. 

“Could..Could I maybe get your number?” 

A sad smile made its way over Terzo’s features. He looked up and shook his head lightly. 

“I think we both know that is not a good idea..” 

Jude couldn't say anything as Terzo grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it lightly, bowing his head. 

“I wish you nothing but the best, caro mio luce..”

 With that, he gracefully turned on his heel, and started back towards the elevator.

The heaviness in Jude's throat felt like it was going to choke him. He was still just within reach..All he had to do was..

Grab happiness. 

Terzo gasped in surprise at the hand on his wrist, turning around to look up at Jude. 

Jude’s chest was heaving as they stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. 

Finally, Terzo spoke.

“Jude.. I-” His words were quickly interrupted as Jude’s lips crashed into his. 

A hungry moan escaped from Jude’s throat as Terzo reached up to grab his face. He felt the warmth of his hands through his leather gloves, tasted the cinnamon in his mouth, and heard the deep growl that rumbled in his throat as Jude pressed him against the wall in the hallway. 

This time, the taste of cinnamon didn't make him cringe as he delved his tongue in deeper, chasing the flavor.

He wasn't sure how they made it into his hotel room with how Terzo’s hands and lips were devouring him the entirety of the way there. Jude kicked the door shut behind him before reattatching himself to Terzo. 

He couldn't think.

He didn't want to think. 

All he wanted was this.

Kissing him felt like everything he’d ever denied himself was crashing into the empty hole in his chest, filling him with a warm radiant light that he could feel down to his toes.  

He wanted the kiss to last forever, but Terzo pulled away, resting their foreheads together as they both let out heavy breaths. 

Jude whined pathetically, canting his head back down, but Terzo held a hand up. 

“Caro..I-I need you to be absolutely sure..” He panted, looking up into his eyes. 

Jude blinked down at him, before nodding. 

“Yes..Terzo..Please..” 

With the confirmation, Terzo planted a firm hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down for another searing kiss. 

Jude keened as his mouth was suddenly filled with Terzo’s tongue. He felt a thrill run through his body at the sensation. Terzo pulled back for only a moment to pull his gloves off with his teeth, tossing them haphazardly on the desk behind them before resuming the kiss and threading his fingers through Jude’s curls. 

Jude couldn't help but shiver as Terzo pulled on his hair lightly and bit down on his lip.

“Bed..” Terzo growled. There was a deep desperation in his voice. Some kind of primal urge that made Jude’s knees weak as they shuffled back towards the bed. He felt the back of his knees hit the mattress and he sat, pulling Terzo into his lap, earning a gasp. 

“ Cazzo, Jude..” Terzo whispered shakily, rolling his hips down into Jude’s raging erection. Jude couldn't help but dig his fingers into Terzo’s hips at the sensation of rubbing against him. Even through all the layers of clothing it still felt amazing. 

It had been so, so long..

Terzo stood up to pull his cassock off, letting it fall unceremoniously to the ground before climbing back onto Jude’s lap. 

Jude's hands immediately ran over Terzo's chest, devouring every inch of exposed skin. He was lean, but softer near his stomach. A light dusting of dark hair trailed down from his chest, disappearing under the waistband of his black pants. 

“Fuck..Terzo..” Jude breathed out before attaching his lips to one of Terzo's nipples, teasing it with his tongue. 

Terzo's head fell back as a positively sinful moan ripped out of his throat. His hands quickly found their way back into Jude’s curls, pulling with a bit more force, earning a rough groan from Jude. 

He couldn't help but thrust up against him, desperately seeking friction. The noises coming out of Terzo's mouth were downright unholy.

Terzo leaned back a bit, pulling Jude’s shirt off. His eyes lingered on the gold cross resting against Jude's tanned skin, before he reached around his neck, gently removing the necklace and setting it on the nightstand with an unexpected care. The way he moved was so graceful.. Jude didn't have time to dwell on the gesture as Terzo's hands began to roam over his chest.

" Bellissimo .." he whispered, his eyes dark and pupils blown with lust. Jude watched as his hands moved to his own belt buckle. He quickly worked the buckle open along with his pants, letting out a relieved groan as his erection was freed from its confines. 

No underwear. Jude felt a shiver run down his spine. 

His eyes went wide as he looked down at Terzo's cock, bobbing between them. It wasn't as intimidating as he expected it to be but it was still impressive. Uncircumcised, with a thick vein traveling up the underside. 

He licked his lips and looked up at Terzo, who was leaning back slightly and wearing a crooked smile. He seemed to be enjoying Jude's inspection, if the way his dick was twitching was any indication. 

Jude was suddenly hit by a wave of nerves, his mouth drying slightly. Terzo seemed to notice this, his expression softening. He placed a hand on Jude’s cheek, looking down at him. 

“Am I moving too fast, caro?..” He asked gently, rubbing a thumb over his cheekbone. 

Jude swallowed dryly, shaking his head. 

“No. I-It's just..I've never..with..with a man..” He admitted nervously. 

Terzo nodded in understanding. 

“Don't worry. I've got you, amore..” He said before kissing him again, this time much softer. The sweetness behind it made Jude's heart flutter. All of the urgency that Jude felt radiating from him before seemed to melt away. He felt like Terzo was giving him a gift, carefully crafted just for him. The thought made his eyes prick with the threat of tears.

Terzo took his time undressing them both the rest of the way. His hands were not insistent, but thoughtful. The way he moved was so intentional. So careful.. It was almost as if he was worshipping Jude’s skin with gentle kisses as each article of clothing was removed.

 Terzo slowly stood, reaching into his pants to retrieve something. Jude couldn't help but stare.  Fuck, he was beautiful. If he was sent by Satan to ruin him, Jude didn't ever want to be rectified.

Terzo climbed on the bed behind Jude, lying back before guiding Jude on top of him. 

Jude let out a shaky moan as he felt his length against Terzo’s, their bodies pressed together. 

“Jude..” Terzo whispered, leaning up to kiss him again as they rolled their hips together. 

Jude never wanted to hear anyone else say his name ever again. It would never sound as sweet as it did falling from Terzo's lips.

After a moment, Terzo pulled back, cupping Jude’s cheek in his hand. 

“Do you think you could prep me amore?..” 

Jude let out a small moan at the realization. 

Terzo wanted him inside of him. 

He gave a small, quick nod, sitting back on his knees. Terzo handed him the small packet of lube and the condom he’d grabbed prior  before lying back, bending his legs at the knee. 

Jude looked down at the packet nervously, his hands trembling a bit as he fumbled with it trying to open it. 

Terzo sat up, placing a reassuring hand over Jude's before helping him open the packet. 

“I've got you..” Terzo said again, taking the packet and spreading the lube over Jude’s fingers. He leaned back a bit, guiding his hand between his thighs. 

“Start with one..Then when you feel less resistance, add another.” Terzo said, looking up at Jude with reassuring eyes. 

Jude worked him open slowly and gently, reveling in the breathy gasps and whimpers that escaped the shorter man with each finger he added. He was so tight and warm.. 

“Are you sure..Th-This is your first time?” Terzo got out with a breathy chuckle. The way Terzo arched his back when Jude rubbed over a certain spot that made him gasp harshly. 

Terzo let out another moan as Jude rubbed over the spot again with a bit more pressure. 

“Fuck!..Unless you want me to come now, caro..I wouldn't do that..” he panted, smiling.

Jude felt pre cum drip from the head of his cock at Terzo’s words. 

“Come here..” Terzo whispered. 

Jude gently removed his fingers, slipped on the condom and climbed between Terzo’s legs, hovering over him. Terzo reached down between them, pumping Jude’s length slowly as he leaned up to kiss him again, swallowing the taller man’s whimpers hungrily. 

He felt terzo wrap his legs around him, using his heels to push and guide Jude’s hips down. 

Jude let out a shuddering breath of anticipation as Terzo positioned the head of his cock at his entrance. 

“F-Fuck..” Jude breathed out, his eyes going wide as terzo’s heels started pushing him in slowly. 

Terzo’s eyebrows knit together and he shuddered, bearing down on him as he took him inch by inch.

“So good, caro mio..You're doing so good for me..” Terzo breathed out, cupping Jude's face in his hands and looking up at him. Jude couldn't look away from his eyes as he fully sheathed himself inside him. 

They stayed like that for a minute or two, Terzo whispering gentle praise against his lips and peppering kisses along his jaw. 

“You can move, amore..” 

Jude nodded, rolling his hips back slightly before pushing back in. His eyes rolled back as he felt Terzo twitch around him and let out a deep moan as his hips connected with him again. 

“You feel so good..” Jude got out, pressing his forehead against the shorter man's as he started to pump in and out of him with a steady rhythm.

This had to be what heaven felt like. Nothing could ever compare to this. And nothing ever would again. 

Terzo’s deep moans filled his ears as he thrust into him. He gripped the sheets as he felt the heat pooling in his lower stomach. 

No..please, not yet..

He wanted to slow down, or stop, but it was like some invisible force kept him moving against his will. It just felt too good. 

Terzo was just too good. 

He knit his eyebrows together in frustration, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to focus on making this last longer. He'd give anything just to stay like this with Terzo wrapped around him for the rest of his life. 

Terzo kissed between Jude's worried brows. 

“Stay with me, caro..I-It’s okay..Let go..I've got you..” he breathed out, running his hands up and around Jude's neck to twist his fingers in his hair. 

“Let go..” 

Jude gasped harshly, pumping into Terzo before slamming his hips forward with a final thrust and a long groan. He felt his orgasm hit like a truck, leaving him twitching inside of Terzo as he filled the condom, stars dancing in his vision.

“Fuck!..F-Fuck..Terzo..” He groaned, clinging to him like a lifeline. 

Terzo moaned in appreciation, holding Jude just as tightly. 

“Yes, Jude..so good..Ah..” 

It took a while for Jude to fall back to earth, but he returned to gentle praise and sweet kisses on his forehead. 

“I-I’m sorry..” he panted, his eyes still closed.

“No,” Terzo whispered. “You did so well, amore..” 

Jude looked down and sat up a bit, very carefully pulling out. 

“But you didn't ..." 

Terzo reached a hand down to his cock and began stroking quickly. 

“Come kiss me..” he panted, his voice pleading. 

Jude quickly obliged, kissing him deep and slow. After a minute he felt Terzo tense underneath him, his mouth dropping open before clenching his teeth and grunting deeply. Jude looked down, watching in amazement as Terzo spilled over his own hand and stomach in thick ropes. If he hadn't just come, that would've been enough to get Jude rock solid again. 

Jude swallowed thickly. 

“You're amazing..” 

As Terzo came down he let out a breathy laugh, draping his arm over his eyes. 

“Grazie, tesoro..” 

Jude reached over to grab some tissues from the nightstand and gently began to clean Terzo, making sure to be as gentle and attentive as the other man had been to him earlier. Once he deemed the job sufficient he removed the condom, tying it off and throwing it into the small trashcan next to the bed along with the soiled tissues. 

Terzo smiled warmly as Jude lay his head on his chest, pulling a thin sheet over them. 

“I hope that you enjoyed yourself as much as I did..” 

Jude snorted, grinning up at him. “Definitely..”

As they lie there in the warm haze of their mutual satisfaction, an unanswered question hung in Jude’s mind. 

Where does this leave me?..

He pushed it away for the time being, humming as Terzo wrapped an arm around him.

“Do you mind if I stay?..” The Italian man asked in a near whisper.

“Please do..” Jude said back, just as quietly.

Soon after, Jude felt Terzo’s breath even out before quiet snores interrupted the silence. 

He was left with nothing but his thoughts. 

He felt the creeping fingers of guilt beginning to wrap around his heart, but something else in him was holding them back. 

At least for now. 

He pulled himself closer to Terzo and sighed, closing his eyes as he let himself relax and begin to drift off. 

Tonight, God would have to be forgiving.

Chapter Text

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” -Corinthians 6:14

—-----------

Terzo never willingly woke up in a stranger’s bed. Whether it be leaving that same night, or sneaking out after they fall asleep, he was usually long gone by now. But, as the sun began to peek through the cheap hotel curtains he couldn't help but sigh as rested his head on his hand, looking over at Jude. His eyes traveled over Jude’s sleeping features. He had tawny brown skin that grew darker under his eyes. His thick brows furrowed together in distress. Even while he was asleep, the younger man still looked troubled. 

Terzo gently ran the pad of his thumb over Jude’s worried brow. Something in the touch seemed to instantly relax him, his jaw unclenching and his features relaxing. It made something in Terzo’s chest flutter.

A bit of guilt began to nip at Terzo’s heels. What was he doing? Sure, he’d had a bit of fun with members of the catholic clergy in the past, but something about this made him feel like there was a lead weight in his stomach if he thought about it too hard. He couldn’t think about it too hard..  

Stop thinking about it coglione.

He sighed deeply, looking toward the window as he allowed his hand to linger on Jude’s face before gently sliding it down to his shoulder. He had every intention of walking away from him last night. Just walk right back to his hotel room, jerk off in the shower and pass out in his bed. 

It was the gentlemanly thing to do.

But no. He just had to surrender to those beautiful brown eyes, soft lips and strong arms that pressed him against the wall. He could’ve said no. He could’ve pushed Jude away and spared him fucking up his life with the stupid descison that was Terzo Emeritus. 

In the past he had no issue with this. Letting the innocent and pious take him through carnal lust was always a fantastic offering to The Dark Lord.. But why did this feel so..Wrong? 

Not in the fact that he didn't enjoy himself. Quite the opposite actually. Something about how they fit together so perfectly was, for lack of a better word, heavenly . It was more so that Jude was kind, and sweet, and the kind of nerdy that just made Terzo want to grab him by the jaw, pull him down and kiss him after hearing how he described his favorite music. 

Terzo didn’t want to ruin him. 

He thought about how Jude’s eyes lit up when he talked about the church. How much hope and joy exuded from him. Terzo felt like he was dumping oil into a crystal clear spring just by talking to him. 

But as he looked at him now, his heart did a flip in his chest at the way the dark curls he had his fingers tangled in the night before formed a halo around his head.

“Angelo..” Terzo heard himself whisper before biting his tongue.

Jude stirred a bit at the noise, inhaling deeply as his eyes fluttered open. 

“Hi..” He said, his voice gravelly from sleep as he smiled at Terzo.

Terzo felt like someone had a vice grip on his heart. He pushed it down and offered a smile in return. 

“Buongiorno, caro..” Terzo said softly, his own voice rough from lack of use.

Jude stretched, letting out a soft grunt as he relaxed back into his original position. His smile grew a bit as he looked up at Terzo. 

“Were you watching me sleep?” He asked, holding back a laugh.

Terzo laughed under his breath, stopping himself before he could reach up and brush a curl out of Jude’s eyes. 

Nope. Too casually intimate. Get it together. 

He composed himself and pulled his hand away from Jude’s arm before sitting up and leaning back against the headboard.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Terzo chided playfully, crossing his arms.

Jude scooted closer, draping an arm over Terzo’s middle and nuzzling into his side, negating the distance Terzo tried to put between them. Terzo let his head fall back on the headboard. It felt so nice and he almost felt the urge to push him away. He was undeserving of such tenderness after what he did.

“Thank you..” Jude said softly, his nose rubbing against the sensitive skin of Terzo’s side.

“Eh?” Terzo got out, his eyebrows knitting together. “For what?”

“For last night..”

“You shouldn’t be thanking me for that..” Terzo said seriously. Jude looked up at him with a quizzical expression and Terzo felt himself melting all over again at how Jude stared into his eyes so intently.

“Why not? You were so patient and sweet..”

“And.. You are under a vow of celibacy, no?” Terzo said, his voice deadly serious.

Jude worried his bottom lip between his teeth, “Not technically ..” He sighed, looking down at the sheet. “I’ve been showing discipline and discernment for the past three years.. It's something we have to do before seminary, but I haven't taken my vow yet..” He looked back up at Terzo. 

“Why does it feel like you're angry?..”

Terzo’s breath caught in his throat as he saw Jude shrink back a bit. He felt like such a hypocrite. He was preaching to Jude about striving for happiness just last night and now he was punishing both of them for grabbing it. If this was what Jude wanted, who was he to stand in the way of that with his self-loathing bullshit?

He outstretched his arm, motioning for Jude to rest his head on his chest. He did and Terzo let out a big sigh. 

“It seems your people’s catholic guilt was rubbing off on me for a moment, caro..” He said, chuckling lightly. “I just..Don’t want to derail you from the happiness you feel for..Your church.” He said softly, rubbing up and down Jude’s arm. “The way you spoke about it..I may not agree, but there was a..light in you.”

He felt Jude relax a bit against him inhaling against Terzo's chest.

“I’ve got a month to worry about that..” Jude whispered, looking up at him through his lashes. He slowly ran his hand over Terzo’s chest, tracing his fingers through the dark hair. “Right now, I just want to be here with you.. If that's okay.”

Terzo relaxed into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed as it sent sparks across his skin. 

“That is very much okay..” He breathed out before canting his head down to meet Jude’s lips in a slow, soft kiss. Jude brought a hand up to hold Terzo’s jaw as he deepened the kiss, pulling himself up and clumsily hauling himself into his lap. He had to work to bend and crane his neck down to keep their lips attached due to their height difference, but Terzo decided his lap was Jude’s new throne if he wanted it to be. He wanted him this close for as long as he could have Jude here. All he wanted was to devour every inch of his skin with his hands, and to worship him as he would at an altar devoted to some ancient demon of beauty and desire. 

Terzo moved his mouth from Jude’s to his neck, and then to his chest, tasting and savoring all of the skin within his reach. Part of him wanted to bite, to mark and claim, but something within him wouldn't dare mar such perfection with his unworthy teeth. The noises coming from the taller man’s mouth were nothing short of divine. Terzo wanted to- had to keep drawing those soft sighs and moans from his lips.

He brought his hands down to Jude’s waist, pulling him closer against him. 

“Jude..” He breathed out, his lips still pressed against his ribs. “I want-”

A loud chiptune ringtone rang out from the bedside table that made both of their heads shoot to face it. 

“Damn it..” Jude groaned, remaining in Terzo’s lap but reaching to grab his phone from the table. Terzo continued his gentle assault on Jude’s side as he answered, attempting to keep his giggling quiet.

“Hello?...”

Tezo could hear the shrill voice through Jude’s speaker plainly.

“Jude, where the hell are you? We all agreed to be on the road by ten and you know if we don't get my grandma’s van back on time she’s gonna kill me!”

“Shit..Y-Yeah I'm so sorry, Rebecca! Shit, shit!” Jude stammered, quickly climbing off of Terzo and rushing to gather his clothes, nearly tripping over the blankets in the process. “I overslept, just..I-ll be down in just a sec okay?.. Okay, bye, sorry!” He got out before tossing his phone on the bed and pulling his clothes from the night before on. 

Terzo sat up, watching the man pack the rest of his belongings into his bag in a flurry of movement. 

“I’m so sorry, Terzo, I didn’t mean..I just..Ugh!” He growled as he zipped his luggage closed with some force. “I will see you again..” He said, stopping by the desk, his back to Terzo as he gathered a few books and shoved them into a backpack. He paused for a moment before turning back to Terzo and striding to the bed. 

“I promise..” He said determinedly before leaning down to kiss him.

Terzo felt so blindsided by how quickly everything just happened all he could do was nod as their lips separated. “O-Okay.” He said as Jude quickly turned and was out the door.

He sat in the sudden silence unmoving and staring at the door for a few minutes as he slowly processed what happened. 

Jude was gone. Just like that. He suddenly realized they never exchanged numbers and groaned, dragging his hands through his hair. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid! He asked you for your number last night and you said no!  

Terzo fell back against the mattress with a thud and let out a long sigh. How would he find him? He didn’t even know his last name. The bar maybe? He could go there and ask Vanessa, the bartender, Jude’s last name from his tab. No.. She probably wouldn’t hand over that information. And it would make him sound like a creepy pervert. He was a pervert, sure, but not a creep. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments, determined to let this consume him. He would just rot here. Housekeeping would find him eventually. 

Just as he resigned to the fate of becoming a stain on the mattress his own phone began to ring. He rolled over with a sigh, answering it and bringing it to his ear. 

“What?” He groaned into the duvet.

“T, haul your ass out of whoever’s bed you're in and come back to the hotel. We gotta get back to the ministry.” A gruff voice sighed on the other line.

“Dirt..Fucking calm down, I’m at the hotel..Just not my room. Get the ghouls to pack for me. I’ll meet you down at the van.” Terzo grumbled, sitting up. He couldn't even brood properly while on this damned ghoul’s schedule. The earth ghoul sighed, and Terzo heard him containing his frustration. 

“If you're acting like this for small shows, I can only imagine how much fun your tours as Papa are gonna be..” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah..” Terzo mumbled. “I’ll be down soon.” 

With that he hung up, letting the phone fall onto the bed with a soft thud. That ghoul was gonna run him into the ground. He groaned, sitting up and sliding to the edge of the bed. A glint on the bedside table caught his attention. It was the golden cross that Jude was wearing last night, and his rosary, adorned with green glass beads. They were both sitting behind the lamp. Jude must’ve forgotten about them in his rush to leave earlier. He slowly reached out and grabbed the long rosary. Okay, it wasn't burning his flesh. That was a good sign. He rolled the dark green beads between his fingers as he examined the silver cross that hung at the bottom. It was a beautiful piece if anything. 

He set it back on the nightstand before delicately picking up the thin gold chain of Jude’s necklace, and laying the cross in his palm. He noticed a small gold rectangle that hung next to the cross and turned it over in his hand. It was engraved, but it was so small it was hard to make out. 

Terzo brought it closer as he struggled to read the small cursive text. 

To: Jude

Love: Tatay

“Tatay?..” Terzo read aloud, undoubtedly butchering the pronunciation. The word felt somewhat familiar. It sounded like something he’d heard Sister Marie say. Tagalog maybe? He pulled out his phone and typed it into his search engine, awaiting the result.

“Oh shit..” 

Dad

This was from Jude’s father. His dead father. How the hell was he supposed to get this back to him? Would he realize it was gone and come back? Should he leave it here? It was real gold. He worried about it getting stolen. He closed his hand around it and held it close. He didn’t have time to sit here and stew over it. He set it down with the rosary and stood to pull his clothes on. Once he was dressed in his cassock he wrapped the gold chain around his wrist, tucking the cross into the palm of his glove before slipping the rosary into the pocket of his pants. He walked over to the  mirror to examine his reflection and sighed. He was still in the first half of his forties, but he still felt like it was catching up to him. The smeared cardinal paints adorning his face didn't seem to help much. He began walking to the bathroom to wash his face when something on the desk drew his attention.

A napkin with a short note scribbled on it.

‘I will see you again. -Jude’.

A small heart followed Jude’s name along with..A phone number. Terzo could've pumped his fist in celebration. 

“Yes! Oh, thank Satan below..” He let out in a sigh. He grabbed the napkin and folded it, tucking it into the pocket that the rosary sat in. As soon as he was at the ministry he would call him. Or should he call now? He pulled his phone out and started to dial the number, but it began ringing again. 

“Fucking..Ugh!” He growled, answering, “Dirt, I'm coming! So damn impatient..” 

After a bit of bickering between him and the ghoul, he washed his face and made his way down to the lobby and out the front door. A gaggle of six ghouls were waiting outside a black passenger van, all glamored in their human forms. 

“Hungover, cardinal?” Pebble teased, poking at his side as he approached. Terzo waved him off, not in the mood for the ghouls’ shenanigans. 

“Someone’s extra moody today..” Delta hummed, Pebble chuckling along with him. This earned them both a look from Omega which quickly quieted them down. The tall stoic ghoul opened the door for Terzo, allowing him to climb in before the rest of the ghouls piled in behind him. Omega settled in next to him and Dirt climbed into the driver’s seat. 

“So..” Dirt hummed, looking at Terzo in the rearview as he pulled out onto the highway. “Were you with that guy you were talking to last night?”

Terzo tensed, shooting Dirt a sharp look in the mirror.

“Just askin’..Jeez..Diva today..” Dirt held a hand up in surrender. “I just remember you two looked pretty cozy when I came and got you to wrangle these guys..”

“Enough..Please..” Terzo sighed, leaning his head against the window. He knew that his ghouls never had to twist his arm to get him to brag about his sexual conquests, but.. Jude was different. Dirt thankfully dropped the subject, turning on a classic rock station for the ride.

Terzo felt Omega’s eyes on him, almost as if he were waiting for him to spill everything that happened last night. But, he remained quiet, closing his eyes and settling into his seat. He could at least try to get a bit of sleep on the way. 

Terzo woke to the sound of Air and Alpha bickering with Pebble and Delta about Lucifer-knows-what in the seats behind him. He rubbed over his face, groaning as he felt the beginning of a strain in his neck from leaning against his window. He looked at the clock on the radio and saw it had been about an hour.. Great, less than halfway home. They had to be around Brentwood at this point at least. He sighed, looking back out the window and reaching into his pocket to fiddle with the glass beads of Jude’s rosary. He wondered if he could chance texting Jude. No, not in a van full of nosy ghouls. Should he even text Jude? He knew he said he wanted to see Terzo again. And Terzo definitely wanted to see him. The beads clicked around in his pocket quietly as he wrapped them around his fingers, pondering his options.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Pebble spoke directly next to his ear. 

“Whatcha got there, cardinal?” He asked slowly, leaning forward over the back of Terzo’s seat.

“Cazzo!” Terzo cursed, ripping his hand from his pocket. “Personal space, Pebble! We’ve discussed this.” 

Pebble remained where he was, his flashing green eyes darting to Terzo’s pocket. 

“Beads?..” He mused. 

Terzo looked down, noticing a few of the beads from the rosary were hanging out. 

“It’s nothing. Go back to torturing Air and Alpha..” Terzo snapped, pushing the string of beads back into his pocket. As soon as he pulled his hand away, Pebble’s hand replaced his own, snatching the rosary from his pocket with inhuman speed. 

“Pebble!” Terzo growled, attempting to grab it back from him. 

“A rosary!” Pebble nearly yelled, causing all of the Ghouls, save for Omega and Dirt, to let out an exaggerated hiss.

“Grow up.” Terzo huffed, finally grabbing it back from him as Pebble dramatically pretended it was burning the flesh of his hand.”I found it at the bar. I thought I could cannibalize it for jewelry.”

Omega looked over with a flash of interest in his eyes.

“St. Jude..” He said quietly, his deep voice causing the rest of the ghouls to quiet.

Terzo froze, his eyes darting to Omega. 

“Excuse me?”

Omega reached out, gently tapping on the cameo on the rosary. 

“That’s St. Jude. Patron saint of hopeless causes..” He said, looking back to Terzo.

“Hopeless causes huh?” Terzo hummed, looking down at the cameo. “I should probably hold onto this then..”

Omega let out an amused huff as Terzo placed it back into his pocket carefully. He caught Dirt looking at him through the rearview mirror again, but the ghoul quickly looked away, directing his attention back to the road. He knew that his ghouls, especially Dirt and Omega could sense something was eating at him. The connection they shared from him summoning them made sure of that. With a heavy sigh he looked back out the window, letting his mind wander for the rest of the ride. 

After about another hour and a half, Dirt pulled into the entrance of Hither Hills state park, stopping to speak to another glamoured ghoul at the gate.

“Drop the wards by the wharf, and get someone to start the boat..” The ghoul spoke into a radio before waving them through. Dirt nodded, driving further into the state park before they approached the wharf. Terzo still shivered as he felt them pass through the weakened wards that would keep people from coming near this area. He wished it wasn't such an ordeal just to get onto the island that housed the main ministry, but a mysterious private island closed to the public wasn't the worst place to set up a home base. The ferry was waiting for them and dirt carefully pulled inside before the ghouls began piling out of the van to stretch their legs, dropping their glamours. 

Terzo remained in the van for the ride to the island, trying to calm his racing thoughts before he had to return to the ministry. All the meetings and studio sessions preparing him for his reign as Papa were exhausting. The lessons were all but through and now, it felt as if the real work was beginning. Sleepless nights writing, revising, and writing again.

 He loved what he did, and he was very eager to take up the mitre, but did he have to run himself into the ground to do it? This trip was a small reprieve granted by Sister Imperator. He disguised it as drumming up excitement for his upcoming reign, but truthfully he just wanted to blow off steam by performing. It was his favorite thing in the world, and the feeling it gave him was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Having the crowd hanging on every twitch of his fingers was addicting and, he felt, his one true form of indulgence. After some time, he was pulled from his thoughts as the ghouls began climbing back into the van. They must be close now. 

After pulling off the ferry, driving down a long dirt road, and through yet another gate, they were home. The ghouls quickly began unloading luggage and equipment from the van onto trolleys and Terzo felt his back pop in a few places as he stretched after exiting the van. 

Back to it..

He and Dirt walked through the ornate front doors and saw a few familiar faces waiting for them. Sister Marie, a short, curvy sister of sin, wasted no time, running up to Dirt and hugging him close, giggling as he lifted and spun her around. Her pink curls bouncing as she peppered kisses along her husband's cheeks and jaw. Terzo couldn't help but roll his eyes as he continued walking towards the rest of their welcome party. Sister Imperator, Nihil, and Papa Secondo were all standing expectantly ahead of him. 

“How was the turnout?..” Sister asked dryly, her arms crossed. “Numbers.”

“I don’t know, ask Dirt. He keeps track of all that.. It was a small venue, don't expect too much.” Terzo sighed, waving her off. All he wanted right now was a shower and his bed. 

“You have a studio session at 3.” She asserted as he started walking past them. “I suggest you’re there on time, cardinal .” The last word felt venomous, intentionally reminding him of his place in the hierarchy. He simply waved a hand in her direction as a sign of acknowledgment, and continued walking down the cold stone hallway towards his apartment. 

Being a Papa-to-be did have his perks. All the attention he received from his fellow siblings of sin never hurt, but today he found that he had to force himself not to groan every time he was stopped in the hall for someone to gush over him. 

He really was not feeling himself today. 

When he finally made it to his apartment he closed the door behind him and leaned back against it with a heavy sigh. He fingered the napkin in his pocket before pulling it out along with the rosary.  

Was it too soon to text him? He did have his cross. He looked towards his bed and saw his luggage had already been dropped off and decided his moral dilemma could wait. He needed to unpack and shower. He quickly removed his gloves, stowing Jude’s necklace in his bureau drawer, 

He felt much better after he was clean and decided to forego his cassock for a comfy v neck, joggers and a long wool cardigan, all black. He didn’t have the formality of uniform dress in him today, but he did carefully apply his cardinal paints at his vanity. He stood and turned to sit down on his four poster bed with a huff, grabbing Jude’s napkin and his phone from his bedside table. 

Okay he could do this. It shouldn't be so hard just to text someone. But Jude wasn't just someone. The thought of him made Terzo feel like there were bats trying to claw their way out of his chest cavity. He began typing Jude’s number in to save it to his contacts when a loud rap on his door made him fumble, nearly dropping the device. 

“Terzo!” He heard Sister Marie’s chipper, yet authoritative tone through the heavy wood. “Get dressed! Dirt said you haven’t eaten yet!” 

He groaned, shoving his phone in his pocket and hiding the napkin in his bedside drawer. He stalked over to the door, opening it to see Dirt standing next to Marie, who had her hands on her hips. 

“I’m not hungry.” Terzo said quickly, looking down at the slightly shorter woman.

“I don't care. You need to eat. Growing papas need their food.” She said, patting the top of his head. He let out an annoyed sound, batting her hand away. 

“Fine..” He sighed, stepping out and closing the door behind him. “Can’t get one minute of fucking peace around here..” He mumbled, skulking behind the couple as they made their way to the dining hall. 

He ate in silence, as Dirt and Marie chatted about the current ministry goings-on. He couldn’t bring himself to fully pay attention, but attempted to nod along and seem interested. He didn’t miss the few times the couple would shoot each other a shared look and he knew it was about his uncharacteristic brooding, but he found it in himself to ignore them. Marie was no stranger to Terzo’s moods, but she was usually able to pull him out of it. Their relationship was oddly sibling-esque in that way. She treated him like a younger brother despite him being eight years her senior.

Dirt finished his meal and leaned over pecking Marie on the cheek.

“Primo needs me in the garden. The new citrus trees arrived today.” He said softly. “See ya, T.” He added, waving to Terzo before heading to perform his duties. 

Terzo nodded, looking down at his plate and pushing his food around. He felt like a sulking teenager, but he couldn’t get Jude out of his mind. Would he want to stay? Would it just be a month-long fling? He knew it was entirely Jude’s decision if he wanted to pursue whatever this was, but he couldn’t help but feel those tendrils of guilt creeping in. 

“Hey.” Marie said softly, ripping him from his thoughts as he let out a surprised noise.

“Whatever is going on. You don’t have to talk about it, but this sulking isn’t a good look.” She said, popping a cherry tomato into her mouth. “I know you have to be in the studio later, but if you want to do anything after to keep your mind off..This. Just let me know. I’m here.” she added with a warm smile.

Terzo sighed, grateful for the lack of prying. “I’ll see how I'm feeling. I’m honestly exhausted..” He said, offering a weak smile in return. 

Marie looked like she was about to say something when a meek man Terzo recognized as a new transfer cardinal, Copia, approached their table. 

“Ah..Forgive me for interrupting.” He said quietly, his gloved hands wringing nervously. “Sorella..I was perhaps wondering if you would like to join me for dinner this evening?” He finished with a squeak.

Marie’s cheeks flushed and Terzo’s eyebrows shot up in interest at her reaction. Terzo knew that she and Dirt were open to seeing other people..But.. This guy? When Marie first joined the ministry Terzo attempted flirting with her, as he did with most new siblings, and she struck him down like the hand of god. When he saw she was interested in Dirt, he understood, but he couldn’t help but hold back a laugh as he looked at this rat of a man nearly trembling before her. This is what she was into? 

She let out a soft noise,reaching out to still his shaky hands. 

“I would love to, Copia. Thank you.” She said softly. Terzo had never heard her speak so softly and it threw him for a loop. He had to hear all about this. 

The nervous cardinal gave her a small bow, nearly losing his footing as he turned to walk away but spun back around. “Is six okay? I-I can come meet you at your apartment.”

“That sounds perfect.” She grinned. 

The cardinal gave another awkward little bow before scurrying off with a bit of a spring in his step.

She watched after him with a dreamy sigh before turning back to Terzo who was staring at her with a shit-eating grin.

“ Really?”

Her own smile grew as she narrowed her eyes at him. 

“What?..Jealous Terzito?” 

Terzo scoffed indignantly at the pet name, taking a sip of his wine. “No, no, I just didn’t think that was your type.” He chuckled under his breath.

“He’s one of my many types..” Marie said matter-of-factly. “He’s very sweet.”

Terzo mimicked a dramatic gag, drawing another eye roll from his friend. 

“How long have you two been..?” Terzo trailed off, making a lewd gesture with his fingers.

“Dating. A month and a half.”

“And he still shakes like a leaf while talking to you?” He laughed.

“I’m sure you being here doesn’t help anything, but like I said. He’s sweet.” She said, looking over at Copia, who was writing something down in a notebook at a table by the window.

Terzo was about to quip back at her when his phone alarm began ringing. 

“Ugh.. Three already?..I have to get to the studio.” He grunted as he stood. “Enjoy your cardinal..I mean lunch.” He said with a chuckle, giving her a small wave as he headed to his next destination. 

Terzo trudged back into his apartment around ten PM, completely drained. Why the hell did it take so long to record one fucking song? He toed his shoes off and threw himself onto the plush bed, his royal purple duvet cradling his fall. Everything in him was screaming for sleep. His body ached for it with every breath he took. He had to text Jude.. He willed his arm to reach into his pocket, freeing his phone from its confines. 

Blearily he retrieved Jude’s napkin from the drawer and did his best to compose the message, triple checking that he typed in his number correctly. 

“It’s Terzo, I have your necklace. I can send it to you if you want.”

Not as flowery as he would usually prefer but it took him several corrected typos to get it out due to his heavy eyelids refusing to stay open. Despite his fatigue his heart raced upon hitting the button to send it. He wanted to stay up and wait for a response, but sleep was quickly overtaking him. 

He thought about how well he slept the night before wrapped around Jude. He wanted to feel that way again. He wanted to feel like that every night.

In his dreams that night he was held close by a tall man with soft curls and a warm smile.

It felt like home.

Chapter Text

(Terzo POV)

“May the lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other." -Genesis 31:49

—-----------

Terzo leaned back in the leather office chair, staring out the ornate window of the meeting room. Secondo was droning on about something related to his retirement, while Sister Marie, his current assistant, sat next to him, dutifully taking notes. All Terzo could think about was the fact that Jude hadn’t replied to his message yet. He found himself pulling his phone out to check if he had any notifications multiple times during the meeting, and sighing in frustration as his inbox remained empty. It was around noon. He must have seen the message by now. He had checked once more that morning making sure he had the proper number, and it matched. Jude’s handwriting was clear enough that he didn’t need to doubt that. He felt a vibration in his pocket and quickly whipped out his phone, seeing it was a text from Dirt asking about his time in the studio. His head shot up as Marie loudly cleared her throat in his direction.

“Am I boring you, fratellino?..” Secondo said, in his intimidating timbre. Terzo’s eyes shot to his older brother as he set his phone face down on the table. “It seems you are..Distracted this afternoon..” he seemed to have genuine concern in his tone as he examined Terzo.

Terzo sighed, dodging the daggers Sister Imperator was shooting him from her position next to the reigning Papa. 

“No, No..” Terzo got out, dragging his leather-clad hands down the sides of his face, “Just..Why do I need to be here for this?”

“Whether we like it or not,” Sister started, her tone pointed, “You are the next in line for Papa. You must be present for all upcoming meetings regarding the papacy.”

Terzo just nodded, letting his hands fall onto the solid oak table in front of him. He didn't miss the way Secondo’s lip twitched in disdain at the way Sister spoke to his younger brother. The older man straightened in his seat, his papal paints making him look more imposing than he already did for a man of his height. 

“What Sister means is..” He started, cutting his eyes in her direction. “When you take up the mitre, fratellino, You will have to sit through a lot of…this.” He made a vague gesture with his hand, locking eyes with his brother. “Unfortunately..It’s not all performing, photoshoots, and orgies..I know you come alive when you step on the stage. I have seen you and I have every confidence you will surpass my legacy in that aspect.”

Terzo started to object, but Secondo held up a hand to stop him, “But..There are things we need to do for the church. For Him..” He motioned towards the grand painting of Lucifer falling from grace behind him. “Leading black mass. Leading our flock. These are things you need to know how to do, Terzo..” His tone was firm but softer than Terzo had come to expect from him.

Terzo ran a hand through his hair. 

“I know..I know. Mi dispiace..”

Secondo looked over his brother, seemingly noting his inner turmoil. 

“You know, fratello. If you ever need to talk-.” He started, but Terzo quickly interjected.

“I’m fine. I’m just tired. Let's wrap this up, si?” He said, sitting back in his chair. Secondo stiffened. A barely imperceptible movement, but Terzo caught it, internally cringing at eliciting that sort of response from his brother. He knew that Secondo cared and only wanted what was best for him. But, the last thing Terzo wanted was to get mushy with Secondo. Especially in front of the others in the room. He noticed the meaningful look Sister Marie and Secondo shared. He was getting very tired of that look. Secondo nodded once, turning back to Sister Imperator and continuing where he left off. 

After the meeting, Terzo had every intention of hurrying off to sulk in his room but was stopped by a gentle hand before he could start down the hallway. He turned, seeing Sister Marie wearing that concerned look. 

“Wanna go to the garden with me? I need to bring Dirt lunch.” She asked carefully. “Plus, you look like you could use some sun and fresh air.” 

Terzo mulled this over before giving a small nod. She smiled and turned, motioning for him to follow her, her bag slung over her shoulder. 

Terzo wasn’t sure why he didn't spend more time in the ministry gardens. They truly were a triumph. Beds of flowers were beautifully arranged around small ponds and fountains, along with flowering trees and a towering greenhouse that held even more greenery. Dirt was working over near the vegetable garden and Terzo told Marie to go ahead while he sat on a bench near a fountain. He noticed Primo working in one of the nearby flowerbeds, his oversized sunhat perched on his head as he gave Terzo a friendly little wave. Terzo returned the gesture before he looked around.

Gladiolus flowers swung in the breeze as he closed his eyes, taking in the babbling trickle of the water against the stone. He pulled his phone out again, deciding to torture himself further by looking at his empty inbox once more. Should he text again? He didn’t want to seem overbearing, or even worse, desperate. He rested his elbows on his knees and let his head fall forward, heaving a deep sigh. What was this man doing to him?

He felt someone sit next to him and looked up to see Sister Juniper, Primo’s wife, seemingly enjoying the scenery as well. She was a tall, older woman with long gray braids that rested below the small of her back, under her veil. Her dark skin looked warm under the afternoon sun. 

“Good afternoon, sorella..” Terzo said softly, sitting up and leaning back against the bench. “Your husband seems hard at work..” 

She let out a soft chuckle. “Even retired, that man can't take a day off..” Her voice was warm and comforting. Terzo sighed, looking over at his older brother who was wrestling with weeds, his long white hair sticking to his forehead with the sweat-inducing effort. He was just glad Primo found something he was so passionate about in his retirement.  

“Si, well..He seems happy.” Terzo said softly. 

She finally looked over at him, taking in his appearance. “You seem more restless than usual, honey.. Is something going on?” 

Terzo thought he would lose it at the next person who asked him what was wrong, but the gentle, sisterly way Juniper always spoke to him seemed to open the floodgates. 

He spilled it all. Meeting Jude, learning he was about to go to seminary school to become a priest, his internal struggle with that fact, and the night they spent together. Throughout it all she listened, nodding slowly as she absorbed the information. There was no sign of judgment on her face, just genuine attentiveness. She placed her hand over his as he continued. 

“He’s just..So good , June..He makes me feel.. Things. And not just..Those kinds of things, but something in here.” He held his hand over his heart, clutching his grucifix pendant. “And it's crazy because I barely know him! I could never see him again and I feel like I'm going crazy..” He let his head fall back as he let out a slow breath. “He left his necklace from his dead father at the hotel. I took it and texted him that I have it, but he hasn't responded, and now all I keep doing is staring at my stupid fucking phone all day, waiting to hear from him.” 

Sister Juniper nodded slowly once again, looking into Terzo’s eyes as he felt his shoulders finally relax. 

“Between that and all of this..Papa shit. I guess I'm just a little stressed..” He gave a humorless laugh. He was partly embarrassed that he laid this all on his sister-in-law, but it was mostly just a weight off of his chest. 

She waited for a beat before squeezing his hand. 

“I've never seen you like this..Sounds like you like this boy..” 

Terzo looked back down at his hands, sighing and giving a barely noticeable nod. 

“The way I see it, you should try to spend all the time you can with him before you two don't have any left. Whether he decides to stay or leave.. It's his decision. Sure, it'll hurt. But you'll have something to remember. A special place in your heart just for him filled with happiness.” She looked out at her husband and smiled softly as she watched him sorting through his garden tools. 

“Your brother and me..We wasted a lot of time apart.” she sighed. 

Terzo recalled their story, nodding lightly again. Juniper and Primo were childhood friends. Back when the ministry was just a small chapel tucked away in a rural community upstate. The local children were always warned to stay away, but Juniper was fascinated by the place and Primo. He always said she was the first true friend he ever had. She defended him against the bullies, helped him improve his English, and brought him books from the school library. They spent most of their days together, exploring the woods and surrounding area of the chapel, or reading under the gnarled willow tree. When they were both thirteen Juniper had to move away due to her father’s job, and sadly, they lost touch. Years later at a college campus, they reunited in their twenties, and Primo swore he would never let her go again. And he never did. It truly was a love story for the ages. 

“Don't waste any time.. Be with him while you can,” she said softly, grinning as Primo looked over, waved, and blew her a kiss. She caught it before holding it to her heart. 

“You're right..” Terzo said softly, “But, I can't if he won't respond to me.” 

“Are you ready to give up on this?” Juniper asked, her voice a bit more stern as she turned to face him on the bench, “Because that doesn't sound like the Terzo Emeritus I know. Call him.” she said, squeezing his hand and leaning closer. “You're the one always going on and on about seizing what you want.”

He felt his heart skip a beat at the idea of calling him. For some reason, it felt terrifying. Sister Juniper seemed to notice this and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“Or..Just text him again. Give him a bit of time. He could be having his own crisis right now. You said the church is all he’s ever known, right?” 

Terzo looked out over the garden, taking a shaky breath as his eyes lingered on a bed of pink camellias. She was right, but his mind spiraled to the idea that Jude could've gotten home, realized the giant mistake he made, and decided never to speak to or of Terzo again. Terzo never really brought out the best judgment of those around him. 

But what if he did want to?

Terzo was never the kind of man to deny himself much of anything, so why start now? He would take however much time he could have with Jude, as long as it was offered to him. He would hold it close to his heart like a precious gift.

That was.. If Jude still wanted to see him. If he didn't. He would be grateful for the evening they had. The shared spark of happiness.

“As for your promotion ,” Juniper started, patting his shoulder with excitement. “I know you’ve got what it takes to do this. It may feel like a lot now, but I see so much in you, Terzo. You’re an incredible performer, yes. We all know that.” She waved a hand dismissively before looking into his eyes, “But, you’re also strong. You have what it takes to bring the ministry to even greater heights. And you’ve got all these people who care so much about you to help you out along the way.”

He looked over at Juniper and gave her hand a thankful squeeze. 

“Grazie, sorella. You always know how to put me on track when I'm being an idiot.” 

She let out a hearty laugh, her smile growing wide. “I've been dealing with you Emeritus men long enough to know what's going on in those heads of yours..” She said, giving his head a light, playful knock. 

He laughed lightly, leaning against her as she planted a kiss on his temple.  

Sister Marie approached them and grinned, waving at Sister June. Terzo sat contentedly, listening to them chat. At that moment, the weight in his stomach was gone. All he felt was gratitude for the people who cared for him and a nervous sort of excitement for what was to come. His possible time with Jude, his papacy.. It didn't feel as scary. He grabbed his phone, opened his messages, and typed out a quick message to Jude.

“ Thank you for sharing the evening with me, caro. I would like to see you again. If you would have me. ”

Later that evening, after another studio session, Terzo returned to his apartment. He was exhausted, but he didn’t feel nearly as worn down as he did the night before. He laid down on his bed after undressing for the night and sighed softly, pulling his duvet over himself. As he was being pulled into sleep by the exhaustion of the day, he felt his phone vibrate from next to his pillow. It was probably just another person texting him about his various meetings and appointments the next day, or Secondo planning their next weekly family dinner meal. He let out a long sigh, grabbing his phone and wincing at the harsh light as his vision adjusted. His breath caught in his throat as he saw a little red ‘1’ next to Jude’s name. 

Okay, be calm. 

He opened the message, his heart racing. 

“ Can I call you?”

He sat straight up, all thoughts of sleep long gone at the idea of hearing Jude’s voice again. After a few deep breaths, he decided to simply call instead of replying. It only rang a couple of times, but to Terzo, it felt like an eternity before Jude finally answered. 

“Hi..” Jude said with a chuckle.

Terzo felt like he could’ve melted. Hearing his voice made something in his stomach flutter in a way he hadn’t experienced in years.

“Hey..” Terzo said, finding himself at a loss for words. That was new. “Eh. I just.. I’m happy to hear from you..”

“I’m sorry it took so long to respond to you. I was just.. Well, I don’t have an excuse. I was just.. Really nervous.” Jude admitted, letting out a nervous half-laugh.

“No, no.. I understand.” Terzo assured, hugging his knees to his chest with his unoccupied arm. There was a bit of silence on the line before Jude spoke up.

“I was thinking about spending a bit more time in the city before I leave. My friend, the one you met the other night? She has a spare room and offered to let me stay with her for a while..” He cleared his throat nervously. “If it’s not too out of the way for you, and you have the time..” He paused and it took every ounce of Terzo’s self-control not to interrupt him with ‘ Yes, of course I will buy out as many nights at a hotel as we need and spend every minute with you.’ 

Satan below, you’re pathetic.

“Maybe we could spend a couple of days together?” Jude asked softly, his tone hopeful. 

Terzo released a breath and couldn’t stop the grin that pulled at his lips. 

“We could spend as many days together as you want, caro.” 

At that Terzo heard a soft gasp on the other line. It made him sigh. He rested his chin on his knee as he spoke up again. “I will see how long I can get away. I have a lot going on at the moment, but, eh..”

It would take ten fire ghouls and all of the hellhounds in the pit to hold me back from seeing you again.

“I should be able to take some time off.” He said casually. “How long will you be staying?”

“I’m not completely sure. I’m heading to Lucera’s on Monday, and I leave at the beginning of next month, but I don’t have a timeline..” Jude admitted. Terzo hummed thoughtfully. It was still the first week of November. He wasn’t sure how he was going to convince Sister Imperator to give him that much free time, but he would beg if he had to. He knew that would give her some kind of sick satisfaction. If that didn’t work he could always just.. Mysteriously disappear for a while. 

“As long as you would like to,” Terzo smiled, “I will see you on Monday.” 

He could practically hear Jude’s smile through the phone.

“Okay, sounds good,” Jude said softly. “I’ll figure out something for us to do and text you the details.”

“It’s a date..” Terzo hummed, his cheeks warming. “Get some rest, caro mio luce..”

Jude let out a soft noise at the term of endearment. 

“Okay, but you too..” He said quietly.

For you, anything.

“I will..Goodnight, Jude..”

“Goodnight..”

Terzo listened until Jude hung up and let out a long sigh, flopping back on the bed. There was no way he would be getting any sleep tonight. But he would try. He promised his angelo. 

The next morning he opened his apartment door to be faced with Secondo, Sister Marie and Primo. Were they waiting out here for him? Marie sheepishly spoke up, explaining that Sister Juniper told her husband everything the day before, and he, for some reason, felt compelled to tell Secondo everything as well, who obviously had to tell Marie. 

The ministry was nothing if not a gossip pool, even among the higher ranking members. He wouldn't have been surprised if half the congregation knew about Jude by now. He barely had a moment to speak before he was accosted by Primo.

“Fratellino, why didn’t you tell me there was finally someone special in your life?” He grabbed Terzo by the shoulders, his smile a mile wide. Terzo knew the old man was a hopeless romantic, which is why he was the last person he wanted to tell about this. He shook him off and started walking down the hall. 

“Because it is none of your business..” He grumbled as he heard all three pairs of footsteps trailing behind him. He turned around stopping them all in their tracks. “And keep your voice down!” The last thing he needed was to be overheard by the various siblings scurrying off to their daily duties.

“But, Terzo, this is nothing to be ashamed of..” Primo said softly, looking down at his younger brother as he stepped closer to him. “Sure, he’s catholic, but nobody’s perfect.” 

Terzo huffed, turning on his heel and continuing down the hall. He picked up his gait, the two taller men easily keeping up with him before He turned into a thankfully empty room. After closing the door behind them, he stared down the trio. Primo looked absolutely elated, Marie seemed as if she was trying to contain her excitement for his sake, and Secondo.. Terzo felt himself shrink a bit at the expression on his brother’s face. His arms were crossed as he stared down at him, his papal paints doing nothing to soften his signature scowl. He tore his eyes from Secondo’s before turning back to Primo. 

“Tell us everything.” Primo said, sitting down on an empty couch and patting the spot next to him. His smile was warm as he looked up at Terzo expectantly.

 “What is he like? Are you going to see him again? Could he come to a family dinner next week? Oh, Secondo could make his-”

“Fratello, please.. ” Terzo groaned, remaining in his spot across from him. “There is nothing to tell.” He said, holding his hands up with finality. “We had a couple of drinks. We spent the night together. He left the next day. That’s it.”

“That’s not what Juniper said..” Primo said in a sing-song tone, leaning back and crossing his legs casually.

Terzo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“What did she tell you?”

Marie spoke up as she sat next to Primo, folding her hands in her lap, “Everything..” She admitted.

“Who else did you tell? Dirt?” Terzo asked quickly. He knew this would spread amongst the ghouls like hellfire. 

Marie quickly shook her head. “We’re the only ones that know. And, we plan to keep it that way.” She shot the two other brothers a warning look. Primo nodded, waving a hand dismissively. Secondo gave a brief nod, his eyes still boring holes into his younger brother. Terzo sank into an armchair across from them, letting his head fall back. 

“Y’know..” Marie started, “If you're really that worried about him being catholic.. I was raised catholic.. And I know it’s a bit different because he wants to become a priest, but..”

Terzo looked over at her and sighed once more. It wasn’t just that jude was catholic. that he felt he was ruining Jude’s future dreams of priesthood.

“It’s not that, it’s-”

“I don’t want to hear any of that self-deprecation bullshit out of you.” She said quickly, adopting her big-sister tone. “I know you're probably about to go on and on about how you're ruining him.”

How the fuck did she know what I was about to say?

“You deserve to be happy, Terzo.” Marie said, her tone softer. “No matter how long you have with him.. Have you talked to him yet?”

Terzo just swallowed, looking down at his hands. 

“We actually talked last night.” He said before telling them about their conversation.

“We have to get you that time off.” Primo said, quickly sitting up. “I will speak with Sister Imperator about it now.”

“No.” Terzo said, holding up a hand. “You’ll spill everything. Let me just think..”

Secondo cleared his throat, causing all the eyes in the room to land on him.

“I know what it is like..” He said, staring down at his brother, “To miss out on what you want due to the responsibilities of this place. I will speak to Sister. I will tell her to give you as long as you need before you are ready. You need this last bit of freedom before the title ties you down.”

Terzo looked up at Secondo with a grateful expression. 

“Fratello..All I need is a month..maybe less.”

“I think I can delay my retirement a bit longer for you, piccolino..”

Terzo swallowed, blinking back tears before clearing his throat. He truly was grateful for his brother.

Later that afternoon, Sister Imperator found the time to see them and Secondo pitched Terzo’s leave. She seemed irritated at the idea, but with a bit of convincing she accepted. 

“On one condition..” She said quickly, holding up a finger. “Cardinal Copia will take notes on all the meetings you’re not present for.. Upon your return you will go over them with him. Is that understood?”

Terzo was a bit confused as to why, of all people, she would choose Copia for the task, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was going to see Jude and nothing else mattered. After the meeting he all but ran to his apartment, pulling out his phone as soon as he was inside. His heart skipped a beat as he saw a text from Jude. It was an address and a time, followed by a few words.

“I can’t wait to see you again.”

Chapter Text

(Jude POV)

“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.” -Romans 1:18

—-----------

Jude straightened his outfit in the mirror in Lucera’s living room and sighed. He was going to meet up with Terzo for their first official date. His ears perked up and he looked over at Lucera as she walked into the room and let out a heavy sigh, plopping down on the couch.
“It’s my day off. If I get one more work phone call, I swear to god-..Sorry.” She said, suppressing a laugh. Jude just rolled his eyes playfully. 

“You’re fine..” He said softly, turning back to look at his reflection. He decided to try and go a bit outside his comfort zone with his clothing choices today. A red button up, black vest and dark grey dress pants, with a black peacoat tying it all together.

Does this scream I’m trying to impress a satanic cardinal? 

He let out an annoyed huff at himself, debating on whether or not he should change.

“You look nice..” Lucera hummed in interest, “Where are you off to?..Hot date?” She teased, waggling her eyebrows.

Jude froze for less than a second before turning back to her, letting out a stiff laugh.

“No. I’m heading over to the church a few blocks down to help them prep for a baptism..Plus, Father Callahan isn’t really my type.” He froze before spitting out the words. “Because he’s a man!”

Lucera stared blankly at him for a moment debating on responding. 

“Okay, well..Have fun?”

Jude cursed himself internally before turning to grab his bag. 

“I’m not sure how long I’ll be. Father mentioned he needed help with a few other things, so..”

“Just let me know if you'll be back for dinner. I’m gonna make sancocho.” Lucera said, pulling out her phone to scroll absently through social media.

Jude nodded, looking at his outfit once more before heading out the door.

He took the train to the eighty-first street station and found a bench, his knee bouncing nervously as he looked at his watch. He was a bit early, so all he could do was watch the bustling commuters around him to keep his anxiety at bay. After a few minutes Jude saw him and quickly stood, his breath catching in his throat as Terzo stepped off of the train. 

Terzo stopped before a big smile spread over his face. He looked like he wanted to run over to Jude but slowed after two quick steps. Jude’s heart was pounding as he looked over Terzo. He was wearing a long black coat and a purple button up shirt, a couple of buttons undone, with white pants and smart black and white shoes. He still wore the silver grucifix around his neck and his dark paint he wore the night they met still decorated his eyes and upper lip. Jude couldn’t help but sigh as he took in his appearance. 

Terzo made it over to him and let out a breath, taking Jude’s hand and kissing the back of it gently. Jude could’ve melted. 

“It’s good to see you again, Caro..” Terzo grinned up at him.

“You too..” Jude said breathlessly. 

They stood there for a moment, Terzo just staring at him before he seemed to remember something, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a small black box. He held it out to Jude.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get this to you sooner..” Terzo said softly. 

Jude took the box and opened it, letting out a sigh of relief as he saw it contained his gold cross from his father. 

“Oh, Terzo, thank you so much.. I thought it was gone forever until you messaged me.” He removed it from the box and fastened it around his neck, letting it rest under the collar of his shirt. 

“Of course..” Another beat passed and Terzo spoke up. “You look amazing..”

Jude couldn’t fight the blush that forced its way onto his cheeks.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Terzo simply chuckled, running a hand through his hair. 

“Grazie, Caro.. Oh shit. I forgot your rosary!” Terzo groaned, looking frustrated with himself. Jude just smiled, letting out a soft laugh. 

“Keep it.. I have plenty.”

Terzo looked up at him and nodded lightly, a slight tinge of pink coloring his cheeks.

“Let’s go, yes?” He said quickly, starting to walk out. Jude couldn't help but grin as he strode over to catch up with him.

They started out of the station, walking side by side.

“So what’s in the bag?” Terzo asked, nodding towards the tote bag Jude had tucked under his arm. 

“You’ll see.” Jude smiled.

They continued their walk to and through central park, chatting about what they’d been up to since they last saw each other. Terzo looked so different in the daylight. Jude could see the fine lines around his eyes and between his eyebrows. How when he smiled, laugh lines appeared. He was so handsome.. 

They reached their destination near the lake and Jude led him out onto the grass near the water’s edge. Terzo seemed a bit hesitant at the possibility of his shoes being marred by the grass and dirt, but followed, stepping carefully. Jude set his tote bag down and pulled out a large blanket, spreading it over the ground in front of them.

“A picnic?..” Terzo hummed as Jude kneeled on the blanket and pulled a small cooler bag from the tote. “How sweet..”

Jude’s head shot up. Was this too much? Not enough? Now that he thought about it Terzo didn’t really seem like the picnic type. But as Jude scanned his expression he didn’t see any malice or condescension. Just genuine endearment. He gave a small nod with a smile as Terzo joined him in sitting down. 

“All I had this morning was coffee..This is perfect.” Terzo sighed, looking out over the water as Jude pulled out the food. It was a lovely day for November. Cool and slightly overcast, but there were enough breaks in the clouds to let the sun warm them periodically. He carefully arranged everything on the blanket, two sandwiches, on artisan bread obviously, a small container of grapes and cheese, a sleeve of garlic and rosemary crackers, and a glass bottle of grape juice.

“Wine?” Terzo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Jude let out a small laugh. “Nope, just grape juice..” He said, pulling out two stemmed glasses as well. “I don’t wanna get fined for bringing alcohol here.”

“No fun.” Terzo teased, taking the glass as Jude held one out to him. Jude huffed out another laugh as he poured the juice for both of them.

“Thank you, Caro.” Terzo said softly, his smile warm as he looked over at him. Jude nodded, swallowing a bit. How could Terzo make him feel so at ease and so nervous at the same time? Terzo clinked his glass against Jude’s before they began to eat. 

After a meal filled with pleasant conversation, and a bit of flirting from the Cardinal,  they began to pack everything away. Jude cooed as he saw a small family of ducks approaching the shore. He’d prepared for this moment. He reached into the cooler bag and pulled out a small bag of frozen peas that, by this point, had thawed.

“Do you want to feed them with me?” Jude asked, trying not to sound too excited. Terzo nodded enthusiastically, standing with Jude and following him towards the water’s edge. 

“We have a family of ducks at the ministry..” Terzo said softly as he and Jude tossed the peas to the birds, who happily plucked them from the water. “They stay around the pond most of the time, but sometimes you can catch them walking through the courtyard..”

Jude looked over at him. This Terzo felt so different from the one he met at the bar. He was still just as suave and flirtatious, but something about him seemed less guarded. Terzo turned his head and caught Jude’s eyes, giving a small smirk. Jude felt the heat rise in his cheeks as his head snapped back ahead of him, looking back over the lake. 

“Oh look,” Terzo said, pointing over the water. Jude followed his gaze and saw a pair of swans heading toward them. The ducks quickly swam off at their approach and Jude let out a breath. 

Please don’t be assholes swans..

“They’re beautiful.. I’ve never seen one this close..” Terzo mused. “Oh..They’re coming fast..” 

One of the swans began beating its wings, quickening its approach. 

“We should go!” Jude said quickly, grabbing Terzo’s arm and pulling him back towards the grass.

“Eh?” Terzo got out before the swan was nearly on them, honking loudly, “Shit! Go, go!”

They escaped with their belongings, laughing loudly once they were sure they were out of harm’s way. 

After they left the park, they spent some time exploring the city. They went back to the Natural History Museum station and Jude mused about how he’d always wanted to go and see Hope the Whale. Terzo seemed to make a mental note of this as they boarded the train. They stopped by a small outdoor market near St. Patrick’s cathedral, browsing the stalls. Jude found himself staring up at the church. He’d always wanted to go inside, but never had the chance. Now didn’t seem like the best time, though. 

“Admiring the architecture?” Terzo said softly from next to him.

“Hm? Oh..Yeah. It’s beautiful.” Jude hummed.

Terzo rocked on his heels a bit as he looked over the building. He looked slightly conflicted before he spoke.

“Would you like to, eh.. Go inside?” He got out. Jude looked over, raising an eyebrow, slightly shocked at the offer. 

“Not to be rude..” He said slowly, “But can you even go in there?”

Terzo barked out a laugh, but stopped, seeming to ponder the question. “Ah, I’m sure it’s fine.” He waved dismissively, starting to walk towards the cathedral, the tall bronze doors glinting in the late afternoon sun. Terzo hung back a bit as they approached the entrance, allowing Jude to go in before him. Jude held back a chuckle as he watched Terzo tuck his grucifix into his shirt and hesitantly step inside, looking relieved once he made it past the threshold. They walked through the building and Jude was in awe. It was so beautiful and he felt so safe and warm just being here. They made it to the chapel and Jude dipped his fingers into the bowl of holy water near the door and made the sign of the cross over his chest before entering. It truly was breathtaking. He turned to look at Terzo who was also looking around the room. He didn’t seem as uncomfortable as Jude anticipated, but his shoulders were squared and his jaw was tight. 

“Are you okay?” Jude asked softly, his voice echoing in the silence of the chapel.

Terzo looked up at him and simply nodded, placing his hands in his pockets. Jude reached out, placing a hand on Terzo’s shoulder. The shorter man let out a slow breath, his shoulders relaxing at the touch. Jude smiled and Terzo seemed to relax the rest of the way, taking the time to actually take in the room. 

“It really is beautiful here..” He said quietly. They walked to the end of the aisle, looking up at the tabernacle behind the altar. Jude sighed wistfully. Maybe one day he would end up preaching in a church like this, bringing peace to his community in a place this grand felt far off for him, but not unattainable. Jude's thoughts were interrupted as he felt Terzo’s gloved fingers graze his before loosely grabbing his hand. He let out a soft gasp, looking over at Terzo who was still staring straight ahead. He said nothing as he looked back to the altar. Jude’s eyes shot straight to the crucifix hanging on the back wall and he felt guilt settle in his stomach and begin to creep up his throat. Before he realized what he was doing he pulled his hand away quickly. He saw Terzo stiffen out of his periphery and flinched at his own action.

Terzo looked down, shoving his hand back into his coat pocket. 

“I’m sorry..I shouldn't have..”

“No.” Jude got out in a shaky breath, turning to face him “I-I’m sorry-”

Terzo held up a hand and gave a weak smile. “I was out of line, forgive me..”
Jude couldn’t say anything as he searched Terzo’s expression. On the surface he seemed fine, but his eyes held a pain. A pain he caused. Jude cleared his throat, looking down before over to the rows of prayer candles that were to the side of the altar. 

“Would..Would you mind giving me a moment?”

Terzo nodded solemnly before straightening and regaining his composure. 

“Of course.. I wanted to go to the gift shop, anyway..Check out our competitor’s merch..” He said with a soft chuckle. Jude gave a weak half-laugh as Terzo turned on his heel, his footsteps echoing off the walls of the chapel as he walked back up the aisle. Jude waited until Tezo was out of the room before he approached the candles and grabbed a match with shaky hands. He lit a candle and quickly kneeled on the nearby hassock. He did the sign of the cross over his chest and whispered to himself, “In the name of the father, and of the son, and the holy spirit..” 

He clasped his shaking hands together against his forehead, taking a deep uneven breath as he squeezed his eyes shut. His hands grew cold as he squeezed them impossibly tighter together, as if he could pull himself out of this sinking feeling about to take him under.

“Heavenly Father..You have always been here to guide me. I know you will always be here, no matter how I fail you. I need your guidance. I know in my heart that all I want to do is serve you and spread your word, but,” He paused, cursing the tears beginning to well in his eyes. 

“I know I am betraying your love and your grace.. I know I’m allowing myself to be led astray, and down a path that is not of you. I know this is..” Everything in him was screaming to say the word ‘ wrong’ but he couldn’t bring himself to. How could this be wrong? How could the way Terzo smiled at him, laughed with him, and how he kissed him be evil? 

“I just..I need time..I just need this time with him so I can fully devote myself to you. I know I am weak. And I will give penance..” He sniffed as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. “I will serve you, Father.. I-I have to..” Jude’s voice broke as he curled in on himself slightly. “Please forgive me..Please. I just can't give him up right now..”

He took a moment to cry, resting his hands against the top of the hassock and pressing his head harder against them to stop their trembling. After a moment he slowly collected himself. 

Deep breaths.. In through the nose, out through the mouth..

Once his breath calmed, he lifted his head a bit, speaking again.

“I will return to your light.. I just ask for time.. And your forgiveness.. Amen..” He crossed himself again, kissing his necklace before wiping his tears and standing. 

He wasn't even sure what he was asking God for. Time off? Permission to fuck a literal servant of Satan for a month? He looked over the rows of candles and noticed the one he lit began flickering slightly. Was it a sign?..A voice suddenly echoed through the hall.

“Jude.”

Jude jumped a bit as he looked over to the far entrance of the chapel and saw Terzo leaning in the doorway, holding up a small paper bag. He turned away, wiping his eyes once more. 

God, I hope he didn’t see or hear any of that..

He wasn’t really in the position to be asking God for any more favors..

He turned back around, hoping he looked somewhat composed as he walked back up the aisle to Terzo.

“Sorry..I just needed a moment..” Jude said, trying to sound casual.

Terzo said nothing, nodding once before holding the small paper bag out to Jude.

“I- eh.. I got you something.” He said quickly, not meeting his gaze. Jude looked down at him, his eyes wide as he accepted the bag, looking inside to see a small velvet sachet and a lidded box. 

“What?..You didn’t have to..” Jude said softly, blushing at the gesture. He pulled out the sachet first.

“Oh, uh..” Terzo started, holding up a hand. “I got that..for your mother..I hope that’s alright with you.. You can say it’s from you or something, I just..” Jude reached in and pulled out a beautiful blue and white crystal rosary. 

“Terzo, it’s beautiful..She’ll love it..Thank you.” He said, admiring it closely before securing it back in the velvet bag. He grabbed the small box and opened it, gasping softly. A small gold medallion depicting St. Patrick sat on some cotton batting.

Jude closed the box and held it to his chest. 

“Thank you..” Jude said, looking into Terzo’s eyes. Terzo fully blushed at this, clearing his throat. “Let’s get out of here, eh?” He said, straightening and putting on that charming smile. “We still have daylight to burn.”

Jude nodded, placing the gifts back in the bag and following Terzo back out into the city.

They walked for a while in silence before Jude spoke up. 

“What’s your last name?” He asked quickly. 

Terzo seemed a bit thrown off at the question, looking up at Jude.

“Wow.. We really haven’t told each other our last names?” He asked in realization, laughing a bit.

Jude just shook his head, his eyebrows raised at the older man. 

“Emeritus..” Terzo said, stopping and giving a small introductory bow towards Jude. “Terzo Mateo Emeritus.” 

Jude let out a snort of a laugh and gave a small, but exaggerated curtsy. “Jude Crisanto Bagongahasa..”

Terzo straightened. “Bagong-?..” He trailed off.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Jude laughed.

Terzo blushed in embarrassment, laughing at himself and shaking his head. 

“Where is your family from?”

“The Philippines.” Jude said softly as they continued walking. “My parents moved to the states before I was born.” 

Terzo nodded at this. 

“Sister Marie. A member of the clergy, back home. Her family is from there as well.”

“Don’t ask if I know her.” Jude deadpanned jokingly. 

Terzo let out a genuine laugh, leaning against Jude for a moment as they walked. He couldn’t help but grin at the sound.

They walked a bit longer before Jude pulled them into a record store. 

“You collect vinyl?’ Terzo asked, looking over the shelves as they walked. Jude nodded enthusiastically. “I love vinyl.. The ritual of listening to it. Having something physical to hold in my hands. It’s nice. I brought one of my smaller turntables with me to Lucera’s and a few necessary albums.”

Terzo hummed thoughtfully. “I have a record player. My brother got it for me, but I’ve never really used it.” 

“We’ll have to get your collection started then!” Jude said quickly thumbing through a stack of records. They spent some time going through the stacks, Jude showing Terzo some of his favorite albums. Rush 2112, Styx Paradise Theatre, and a few different Queen albums. Between the albums, Jude rattled off factoids about a few of the songs and themes of the albums. Suddenly Jude gave a loud, harsh gasp, making Terzo jump a bit.

“This one.. Oh Terzo, you have to listen to this.” Jude said, his voice low and serious as he pulled an album out quickly, clutching it to his chest. Terzo’s eyebrows raised as Jude turned to him, looking at him intensely. 

“This.. It is my favorite album of all time.” He said slowly before holding it out to Terzo.

Terzo took it carefully, holding it gently as he turned it over to examine the front. 

“A Day At The Races..” Terzo read aloud. “You really like Queen.” He smiled.”I can't say I've ever listened to this one.” Jude let out another dramatic gasp, drawing a laugh from Terzo. 

“Okay, listen,” Jude started, grabbing Terzo’s shoulders. “I’m buying this for you, don’t fight it.”

Terzo’s grin grew as he looked up at Jude.

“Now I have a condition.. Since I'm buying it for you, you have to listen to it. And then tell me all about it. I would give anything to listen to this album for the first time again.” All Terzo could do was nod quickly up at Jude. 

“I swear it.” He said, his smile growing. He held the album to his chest just as Jude did before. 

“I’ll protect it with my life, Caro mio.” 

Jude’s heart skipped a bit and the genuine look in Terzo’s eyes. He would usually think he might be getting a bit carried away. Normally when Jude got like this about music with other people they would simply humor him or give him a look that let him know he was being too much. But as he thought about it, it was just like that night at the bar, when Terzo listened to him wax poetic about the music he cared so much for. He had that same look on his face. He removed his hands from Terzo’s shoulders and let out a soft sigh. Something in him felt lighter. He smiled at Terzo before turning to conceal his blush, continuing down the aisle. 

“So..What’s your band called?” He asked as they walked.

“Not my band yet, but..Ghost.” Terzo said, tucking the album securely under his arm. Jude nodded, keeping his eyes out as they browsed. After a bit more perusing he saw a small section in the rock albums marked with G. He flipped through them nonchalantly while Terzo was examining another stack not too far from him. He let out a small victorious noise under his breath as he found one. It depicted a dark looking pope,his mitre bearing the same grucifix that hung around Terzo’s neck, looming over an infant lying in a coliseum. He turned it over looking at some of the titles. He couldn't help but pull a face as he read Depth of Satan’s Eyes . 

“I have that same reaction to my brother’s music.” Terzo said as he approached him. Jude let out a nervous laugh, looking over at Terzo. 

“Sorry, I was just curious.” He said meekly.

“I’d rather the first Ghost album you buy be mine..” Terzo purred smoothly, winking at him.

Jude looked back at the album quickly. It was all he could do not to melt at the gesture. Terzo gently took the album from Jude’s hands and looked over it. 

“When it comes out that is..”

“When is it coming out?”

“When it’s ready..” Terzo sighed, slipping the album back on the shelf. “I’m almost done with it, but..I feel like it could use something else. Another song or two maybe..” He said, his voice getting quieter as he spoke. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before being pulled back to himself. “So, hopefully soon.” He added quickly.

“I can’t wait to hear it.” Jude said, recalling how amazing Terzo’s voice was when he saw him perform. He hoped he could hear him sing again before.. Well, it was best not to dwell on it. 

Jude perked up as his phone started to ring. He quickly fished his phone out. It was Lucera. 

“Sorry, I just have to take this..” He said, stepping to the side.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hey, are you gonna be back for dinner? I know you were begging me for this sancocho and I can’t guarantee I won't eat it all.” Lucera sighed dramatically.

Jude let out a soft chuckle. 

“Yeah just let me finish up here.” 

“Okay babes, see you soon.”

“Bye.” Jude hung up and sighed, looking at the time. He and Terzo had spent nearly the whole day together and yet, he still didn’t feel like it was enough.

They left the record store after Jude paid for the album and Terzo offered to accompany Jude back to Lucera’s apartment so he didn’t have to walk alone as it got darker. Jude accepted, the gesture warming his heart. A train ride and a walk later they stopped in front of Lucera’s apartment building. 

Jude was suddenly reminded of the night they met as Terzo took his hand, once again kissing it softly. He had the same feeling in his chest that he had at the hotel. But this time was different. He had Terzo for more than one night. The thought seemed to ease back the lump in his throat. He swallowed as Terzo held onto his hand, looking up at him from under his lashes. 

“Where are you staying?” Jude asked, his eyes locked on his.

“A hotel not too far from here actually..” Terzo said, stepping a bit closer.

It would be so, so easy to just steal away to Terzo’s hotel room and fuck him into the mattress until they were both too tired to move. What he wouldn’t give to hear those moans spilling from his lips again. How loudly he’d moaned his name. How he felt around him. He cursed himself for the thought as he felt heat rush between his legs. The way Terzo was looking at him definitely wasn’t helping anything. He cleared his throat to say something before Terzo spoke up. 

“I had a wonderful day. Thank you for spending it with me, Caro.. Can I see you again soon?”

Jude nodded a bit too enthusiastically. 

“Y-Yeah.. Um.. Maybe tomorrow?” 

You're really that desperate to see him again? Calm down!

Terzo just smiled, nodding back. “Text me a time..”

Jude smiled back, letting out a relieved breath as he squeezed Terzo’s hand.

They stood there for a moment, neither of them wanting to let go.

Terzo reached up, cupping Jude’s jaw with his free hand and leading him down to him. Jude’s breath caught in his throat as the cardinal placed a feather light kiss on his cheek. 

“Goodnight, angelo..” He whispered in his ear before giving him a light hug, and starting down the sidewalk towards his hotel. 

Jude felt stuck to the spot, his hand reaching up to brush his fingers over where Terzo kissed his cheek. 

“Oh no..” Jude said out loud. His heart was racing.

Nope. Sweep it away, Jude. Sweep it away.

He quickly straightened up and headed into the building. When he got inside the apartment he heard a soft humming coming from the kitchen, he walked in and saw Lucera prepping dinner.

“Hey! How was work, dear?” She chuckled. He set his bags on the counter and let out a nervous laugh.

“Fine..Not very eventful.” He got out sheepishly. Lucera looked up at him and her eyebrows knit together as she squinted. “You’ve got a little..” She reached up to her cheek, miming a wiping motion. 

Jude reached up, wiping at his cheek before looking down at the black smudge on his fingers.

Fuck.

“What is that?” She asked, craning her neck to get a better look. Jude quickly grabbed a napkin, rubbing his cheek furiously.

“Probably, just ash! I was cleaning the thuribles today and, well y'know..”

You’re lying to your best friend.

“I do not.” She laughed, turning back to the cutting board. Jude quietly let out a breath, his shoulders sagging. 

“You went to St. Patrick’s?” She asked.

“What makes you ask that?” 

“The little bag on the counter that says St. Patrick’s Cathedral..” She laughed, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh! That!” He waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, I had some free time, and you know I’ve always wanted to go, so I got a little something for my mom and myself..” He pulled the items out of the bag and handed them to Lucera.

“Oh damn, these look expensive..” She said before whistling. 

“Yeah, I just wanted to get her something nice..” Jude swallowed, his hands fidgeting by his side. 

Lies.

“Well, I’m glad you had a good day. Do you need to go back tomorrow?” She asked, placing the items back in the bag and handing it to him.

“Yeah, Father has a few more things for me to take care of..” He said, trying not to let his voice shake.

Liar.

“Anyway, do you need help with dinner?” He asked quickly, pulling his coat off, setting it on the back of a dining chair and rolling up his sleeves before turning to wash his hands.

“Yeah, come on. It’s my dad’s recipe.” She smiled, moving to the side so he could stand next to her. He grabbed a knife, helping her prep vegetables as she pulled a pot onto the counter. She froze for just a moment before leaning closer to him, her face concentrated.

“Are you wearing a new cologne?”

“What? No..” He said, looking down at her. She eyed him closely before returning to what she was doing.

At least that wasn't a lie.

They cooked and talked for a bit, venturing away from the dubious topic of Jude’s day, before settling on the couch to eat and binge their favorite trashy reality show. They just finished laughing about one of the girls throwing a drink on her mother-in-law when Lucera got a bit quiet.

“Are we still gonna be able to do this after you’re a priest?” Lucera asked softly, looking over at him.

He paused, swallowing the food in his mouth as he turned to face her. 

“Of course.. Nothing will change.. I mean, I might have a little less time, but I’ll still be me..” He said sincerely.

She nodded, absently poking at her food in her bowl.

“Will I have to call you Father?” She asked, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. 

Jude snorted, his hand flying up over his mouth. 

“No..” He laughed.

“Daddy?”

“Lucera!”

“I’m sorry!” She laughed, leaning on him. “I’m just gonna miss you..”

Jude leaned his head on hers, sighing softly. “I’ll miss you too.. But I promise I’ll come visit.”

Jude could tell there was more Lucera wanted to say as she nodded, but she turned her focus back to the television, sighing softly.

After dinner, Jude took a shower and sat on his bed in the guest bedroom. He put on his glasses and carefully strung the St. Patrick medallion onto his necklace before setting it on the end table and sighed. Just because everything had changed recently didn’t mean his routine could. 

He pulled his new rosary out of the bedside drawer. It was a beautiful purple and gold glass rosary gifted to him by Lucera for his last birthday. He couldn’t lose this one. He prayed the rosary silently under his breath, rolling the beads between his fingers as he reflected on the day. He almost wanted what he was doing with Terzo to feel so wrong he could stop himself. But it didn’t.. And he didn’t want to. Not yet at least. He hated feeling like this was something he just had to get out of his system, but that’s what it had to be. His future depended on it. 

When he finished he said one final prayer and curled up under the blankets, sighing as the tension escaped his body. The idea of seeing Terzo again tomorrow almost made him too excited to sleep, but the physical exhaustion of the day was finally catching up to him. He slowly let his eyes drift closed, the ghost of Terzo’s lips still warming his cheek.

Chapter Text

(Terzo POV)

“For all that is in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – is not from the Father but from the world.” - John 2:16

—-------------------

Terzo sat at the small table of the cafe, bouncing his knee nervously as he sipped his coffee. He wanted to wait for Jude to order, but he needed something to occupy his fidgeting hands. He would’ve used his phone, but all that would do was send him down a rabbit hole of ministry e-mails and reminders of responsibility that he just wanted out of his mind. Every time the bell above the door would chime, Terzo’s head would turn towards the sound, hoping to see Jude stride in and smile at him in that way that made his knees weak. After about the fifth time, he pulled his phone out to check the time. It was only five minutes past the meet-up time they discussed this morning, but it still made Terzo a bit nervous. He sighed, setting his phone back on the table and staring into his coffee. 

“Calm down, he’s coming..”

It was late afternoon, so there wasn’t too much activity in the small cafe. The quiet ambience of people chatting around him helped to quiet his mind slightly as he took a slow sip. He decided to ignore the jingle of the door this time, letting out a slow breath as he pulled his phone back out, debating on texting Jude. He opened their conversation before he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to gasp and spin around. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Jude got out, holding his hands up in apology. 

Terzo held a hand over his chest and let out a half laugh in relief letting his head fall forward.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, the train was running behind.”

“No, Caro, it’s okay..” He sighed, looking back up at Jude. Lord below, he was so handsome. His dark curls hung loosely over his forehead in spots, framing his face perfectly. He was wearing a burgundy sweater over a white button up, with the same black peacoat he wore the day before and his cross hanging around his neck. Something about it caught Terzo’s attention. The medallion Terzo got him. He reached up, taking it between his gloved fingers.

“You put it on..” He noted, unable to fight the heat growing in his cheeks. Something in Terzo’s heart soared at the fact that Jude thought enough of his little gift to put it on something so important to him.

“Yeah..” Jude said sheepishly, his own cheeks flushing slightly. “I told you I loved it.” He giggled weakly. Terzo let go of the medallion, nodding lightly. 

“I’m glad.”

“I’m gonna go order my drink. I’ll be right back.” Jude said quickly, smiling down at Terzo before turning to walk to the counter. 

They spent some time at the cafe, drinking their coffee, a macchiato for Terzo, a vanilla iced latte for Jude, and eating the chocolate croissants Jude ordered for them. Terzo felt like he could do this forever. He loved just listening to the younger man talk, whether it be about music, or anecdotes from college. He found himself resting his chin in his hand, sighing softly as he took in every word. After they finished, they decided to wander a bit, as they had become accustomed to. It was nice, not knowing where they were going, but letting the city take them wherever it would. They stopped at a book store and decided to buy each other a book they found interesting in an effort to get to know the other better. Terzo was hardly surprised as Jude handed him a bag containing a Freddy Mercury biography. Jude made sure to let him know it was a very credible account of the singer’s life. Terzo suddenly felt very self conscious as he gave Jude the bag with the book he purchased for him. Jude pulled it out and examined the cover.

“Brutal Monarchies?..” Jude hummed with interest.

Terzo felt himself shrink back a bit in embarrassment.

“I’ve always had an interest in, eh..Tyrannical rulers. Autocracy..Unchecked power. The psychology and motivation that leads some rulers to become ruthless, and their downfall.” He got out, “I-I don’t admire them!” He added quickly, “It’s just something I've had an odd fascination with since I was young.”

Jude turned the book over in his hands, examining it closely. 

“I don’t think it’s odd..I’m excited to read it.” He smiled, looking back at Terzo. Terzo felt his shoulders relax a bit at the genuinely curious look in Jude’s eyes as he read over the back cover. He felt something warm bloom in his chest. 

He shook his head quickly, driving out whatever thought his mind was trying to form.

They left the bookstore, stopping at a few shops to browse. Jude pulled Terzo into an alternative looking shop with a gargoyle perched outside, joking that this would be right up his alley. Jude walked up to the ring display and grabbed a large skull ring, examining it closely.

“Do you like this one? It’s spooky.” He teased. 

Terzo simply nodded, distracted by his own thoughts. He couldn't help but feel a bit tense as Jude’s eyes met his. Something felt..different.

He felt as if the ground underneath him shifted as Jude grabbed his hand, lifted it and slipped the skull ring over his leather-clad index finger.

“It suits you. It looks really cool over your gloves.” Jude said cheerfully, turning Terzo’s hand in his to examine the ring closer.

Terzo swallowed hard as he felt his face grow impossibly hot. Did he have a fucking crush ? 

Nope, we are not doing that schoolboy bullshit. You are fourty-three years old, you cannot have a fucking crush, stronzo!

He cleared his throat, looking down at the ring.

“Looks too much like my brother..” He joked, his voice slightly unsteady. 

Jude laughed at that and Terzo couldn't help but sigh softly at the sound.

The rest of their date went as well as Terzo hoped it could. They went to a movie, and stopped for a late lunch before he walked Jude back to Lucera’s once more.

“Thank you, for today..” Jude said, his voice nervous. “I really..like spending time with you.” 

Terzo simply smiled, taking Jude’s hand gently and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. He loved how flustered it made the taller man look every time. 

“As always, the pleasure is mine..” He said softly. He couldn’t help but let his hand linger around Jude’s. He wanted to kiss him so badly, but he didn’t want to push him into..Whatever this was. He started to pull his hand away but Jude tightened his fingers around his, stepping closer. Terzo gasped softly, looking up at him. 

“Could..Could I kiss you?” Jude nearly whispered. 

Terzo’s mouth hung open a bit before he swallowed, giving a small nod. 

Jude slowly leaned down, bringing his free hand up to cup Terzo’s jaw as their lips met. Terzo inhaled sharply through his nose, resting his hand on Jude’s hip as he stepped a bit closer. It felt like a bolt of electricity shot through his core as their lips slowly moved together. He felt Jude let out a soft noise as he removed his hand from Terzo’s, wrapping it around The shorter man’s waist and pulling him even closer, their bodies pressing together. This was happening and Terzo never wanted it to stop. He parted his lips slightly as he felt Jude’s tongue dance across them, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Terzo groaned at the taste of him, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Jude’s hair as he felt the other man’s hand tighten, gripping his coat like a lifeline.

The thought that they were openly doing this on the sidewalk briefly crossed Terzo’s mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he heard all of the breathless little sounds coming from Jude. He felt Jude’s hand slide behind his neck, his fingers tightening around it slightly and he felt like his knees would give out. The kiss felt different than the first they shared. It was less desperate and hungry, and more like a soft release of the pent up tension between them that had grown over the time they had been apart. Despite his hungry hands, Jude’s kiss felt gentle and warm. Like a promise that he would always be there..

But he wouldnt..

Terzo pulled back a bit, resting his forehead against Jude’s as their heavy breaths mingled between them. He kept his eyes closed as he licked his lips, trying to calm his racing heart. He brought his hands up to rest on Jude’s shoulders as he felt him trembling slightly. 

“Are you okay?..” Terzo whispered softly.

Jude inhaled deeply through his nose and let a slow breath out of his mouth. 

“Y-yeah..I’m sorry.” He got out, his voice shaking slightly.

“No, don’t be,” Terzo said, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I very much enjoyed that..” He smiled.

Jude let out a huff of a laugh, leaning into Terzo’s palm. 

“Me too..” 

Terzo leaned back a bit, looking up at Jude. His cheeks were flushed, and Terzo's lip paint was smeared all over his mouth. The image made his blood run hot as he thought about all the other places he'd like to see the black smears on Jude's body. 

“Oh..Your lips..” Jude said, before he gave a small gasp of realization. He wiped his fingers over his own mouth and looked down at them. 

“Oh geez..” He laughed softly as he saw the black smeared on his fingertips. He stepped back a bit and reached into his bag, producing a small pack of tissues. 

Terzo held up a hand. 

“No, no, that will just smear it more. Come here, sedere.” He said, motioning for them to sit on the nearby stoop. Terzo reached into his inner coat pocket and pulled out a small pack of makeup wipes. 

“I always keep these on me..For touch ups.” 

He pulled one out as Jude sat, facing him. He pulled a wipe out and took Jude’s chin in his hand, gently removing all traces of the paint. 

“There we go..” he smiled. 

Jude blushed deeply. 

“Th-Thank you.” he almost squeaked. Fuck, how was anyone allowed to be this adorable? Terzo started to reach back into his pocket to pull out his compact mirror when Jude reached over, grabbing the same wipe from his hand and gently taking Terzo’s face as he had done for him. 

“Let me..” Jude said quietly. 

Terzo gave a small gasp as Jude ran the wipe over his lips, cleaning him with soft touches, and being careful not to press too hard against him. Even though they literally just finished kissing, Terzo still found his heart skipping at the fact that the same wipe had just touched Jude’s lips as well. Was this supposed to feel so intimate? The way Jude was looking at him made him feel so vulnerable, but not in a way that made him want to run. 

“There.” Jude smiled. It was Terzo’s turn to blush then, giving a nod of thanks before putting the packet away. 

“Un momento..” Terzo said quickly, pulling out his mirror and the small black tube of lip paint. He felt Jude's eyes on him as he opened the mirror, quickly and expertly applying the paint to his top lip. He wiped the corners of his mouth before looking back over at Jude, who was eyeing him with a look Terzo couldn't place. 

“Eh, good as new..” Terzo chuckled, looking into his eyes. 

Jude blinked a couple of times before taking a deep breath, tearing his eyes away from Terzo's. 

Terzo sighed, looking out towards the street. 

“Thank you, again. For today..” He looked over as he felt Jude place his hand over his. 

“You don't need to thank me..” Jude said in a quiet whisper. 

Terzo said nothing, just enjoying his company for the moment. 

After a bit, Jude sighed, standing. 

“I should get inside.. But I hope we can do something again soon. I have some work I need to get done at the church for the next couple of days, but.. I’ll text you when I'm free.” He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Terzo's cheek.   

“Goodnight, Terzo..” 

“Goodnight..”

Terzo watched as Jude walked behind him, entering the building and closing the door. 

He sat there for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He’d never had this feeling. He couldn't help but feel like it was eating him alive. He’d had countless partners in the past. Casual, romantic, and somewhere in-between. But this felt brand new to him. He found himself thinking of Jude nearly all hours of the day. His heart would soar at the sound of his phone notifications, hoping for a chance that it was a message from Jude. He rested his head in his hands, sighing deeply.

“Oh no..”  He groaned aloud, shaking his head.

Get it together. He won’t be here in a month. Don’t get too attached. Just enjoy it while it lasts.

Should he just go home? Seclude himself and protect his heart? As much as he hated the idea of spending all this time with Jude just to lose him, the idea of not being with him as long as he could hurt more.

Terzo took a deep breath before slowly standing and walking back to his hotel.

That night after a shower, he climbed into the hotel bed and pulled his phone out to distract himself from his racing thoughts. He saw a notification indicating a message from Jude and gave a soft sigh before opening it. Jude must have texted him while he was in the shower.

“Thank you for spending this time with me..Goodnight, Terzo.”

Terzo swallowed roughly at the unspoken words. He knew what Jude was saying. ‘Thank you for spending this time with me, before we can never see each other again.’ 

He set his phone on the side table and turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He had to put those thoughts out of his mind. It was like he was torturing himself with the looming inevitability of Jude leaving. It was going to happen. That’s all there was to it. He closed his eyes, his eyebrows knitting together. 

“It’s just a crush. It’ll go away.” He whispered into the empty room, “Just enjoy it..Enjoy him..”

And he would. He more than enjoyed the time they had already spent together. Especially the kiss they shared that evening. 

His breath hitched a bit in his throat as he thought of it. The way Jude grabbed him, pulling him against his body so desperately. He felt strong, and solid, and so warm. Terzo felt himself stir in his boxer briefs as his mind drifted to the memory of their first night together. How fucking warm Jude’s skin was against his. The feeling of Jude's weight on top of him. The way his fingers felt curled inside of Terzo before his cock stretched him so deliciously. He ran a hand down his stomach slowly, imagining Jude’s touch against his skin as a shaky gasp escaped his lips. Terzo felt like his body was on fire at just the idea of Jude touching him again.

“Fuck..” He breathed out, letting his hand slide under his waistband to rub over his stiffening length. 

He wanted him. He wanted to get fucked by him again. He wanted to fuck him. His head fell back at the idea of it, a low moan rumbling in his chest. He could almost hear the desperate little sounds he knew Jude would make as Terzo drove into him. He was almost completely hard now, surprising himself as he felt a steady stream of precum already leaking from the tip of his cock. His fist tightened and he quickened his hand’s pace as he let himself indulge in the fantasy. 

He thought of his chest against Jude’s back, pressing him into the mattress as he fucked him mercilessly. Terzo wanted him to scream his name like a desperate prayer, he wanted to be the only thing Jude ever got on his knees for again. His back arched off of the mattress at the thought of Jude on his knees before him, looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes, plump lips hanging open, waiting for his cock. Jude would look so pretty with his mouth full of him, his eyebrows kneading together as he swallowed around him.

Terzo let out a desperate noise as he pumped himself quickly, just on the edge of his release. He wanted him so badly. No, he needed him. He needed Jude here. To smell Jude’s cologne and taste the salt of his sweat on his skin.. He wanted Jude to watch him come again.

“J-Jude, fuck!” Terzo let out a guttural groan as he began to come over his hand and into his boxers, his legs trembling. 

“F-fuck..” He panted, his head falling back against his pillow as he stroked himself through his orgasm. Every  squeezing upstroke made his body jump slightly as the shocks of overstimulation began to set in. Terzo held himself still in his hand for a moment, catching his breath before slowly retrieving his hand from his boxers.

He took a moment to breathe before wincing at the wet feeling of his soiled fabric against his skin. 

“Dammit..” He groaned before getting up to clean himself and change.

After he was done he climbed back into bed and sighed, pulling the blankets tightly around him. He didn't want to think anymore tonight. He grabbed his phone, typing out a quick response to Jude before willing himself to slip into a restless sleep.

“I will give you as much of my time as you'll allow me..Sleep well, Angelo mio..”

Over the next couple of days, Terzo tried his best to relax. He hadn't had a day where he didn't have to do anything in, well, as long as he could remember. The first day was mostly reading the book Jude got him, ordering room service, and scribbling down song ideas. 

He would periodically text Jude his thoughts about the book, receiving enthusiastic responses from the younger man when Jude could get away from his church duties long enough to respond. Some messages would be a wall of text that would make Terzo smile. He adored how passionate Jude was about the things he loved.

During his scattered writing sessions, one thought plagued him. 

Don't write a fucking song about him.

There were already eight songs on the album, including an instrumental track. But he felt it needed more. And that more, according to his addled brain, was songs about Jude. His pen hovered over the hotel stationary as he willed himself to write about something, anything but the ache in his chest that accompanied his thoughts of the tall angel that made a home in his haunted heart. 

He saw so much in Jude’s eyes. Terzo could feel how conflicted he was about what they were doing. Especially that day at the cathedral. He heard Jude crying, begging his ‘loving’ god to forgive him. It filled Terzo with an unexplainable anger. He wondered how many times Jude had been told that he was a tainted soul by those around him in the church. He wanted to take Jude’s hand and pull him out of that darkness plaguing him. 

He groaned, before he began writing furiously. 

Fuck it.

A few hours later Terzo pulled out his laptop, typed out the lyrics and emailed it to the ministry’s music producer, writing a single word in the subject line; ‘ Cirice ’.

He quickly turned off his email notifications and shoved the laptop back in his bag. Now that it was out of his mind and on paper he felt a sort of calm he didn’t want interrupted. 

He went out on the hotel balcony and pulled out a pack of cigarettes he bought on the way home the night before. The vape wasn’t going to cut it tonight. He rested his arms on the railing, looking over the city as he lit a cigarette, blowing out slowly. It was already dark, the city lights twinkling below. It was oddly nice having this time to himself, but he decided he couldn’t just rot in his hotel room. Tomorrow he’d go out for some fresh air.

That night in bed, he touched himself again, Jude’s name on his lips like a prayer. 

In the morning, he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, rubbing over his face with a groan. His dark circles seemed like they were just getting darker. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were easily hidden by his cardinal paints, he’d be far more worried about it. He had been neglecting his skincare routine lately. Perhaps he would stop by a pharmacy today to get some essentials. He really hadn’t thought to bring anything like that with him when he was packing. He also hadn’t shaved the day before, and dark stubble was starting to shadow over his jaw. He sighed, resting both hands on the sides of the sink and shaking his head.

Let’s get our shit together.

He shaved, styled his hair, applied his paints, and got dressed in a casual black outfit. He examined his reflection once more as he draped his silver grucifix around his neck. He had looked better, but he’d also definitely looked worse. 

He left the hotel, grabbed a coffee, and took a train to a station near St. Marks. It was the part of the city he was most familiar with, having spent much of his younger days prowling the bars and going to punk and metal shows in the area. He stopped by a pharmacy on the way, grabbing a variety of creams and facemasks to treat himself to that evening. After the goods were secured he decided to walk a bit more, browsing in a few shops for anything that piqued his interest. He walked by a store with two large windows that displayed a wide variety of band t-shirts and decided to take a look inside. He didn’t own many t-shirts, but they were always good to have.

He looked around the shop as he walked inside. Studded belts, band merch, t-shirts, chain wallets. It was nice to see a locally owned shop selling stuff like this. He strode through when something caught his eye. Was that?..

He approached a rotating accessory display and saw a few different grucifixes hanging there. Some small and some large, in silver and gold. He knew that the ghost project was getting more popular since Secondo’s reign but it still surprised him to see their merch out in the wild like this. He grabbed a small gold grucifix with a thin chain, turning it over in his leather-clad fingers. A worker walked up to the display to hang up some other accessories and ginned.

“Hey, you into Ghost too?” He said pointing to the grucifix around Terzo’s neck.

“Eh, yeah..You could say that.” Terzo responded, raising an eyebrow. 

“Hell yeah, man. We’ve got some shirts too if you wanna check ‘em out.” He smiled, pointing to the nearby display of band shirts. Terzo’s eyes followed where the man was pointing. There were a few different shirts with art depicting his older brothers in menacing poses, all topped with the band’s logo. He couldn’t help but hold back a snort of a laugh. 

“I think I’ll just take this..” Terzo said, grabbing the delicate gold grucifix from the hook. 

He spent a bit more time shopping around, but not buying anything. Terzo feared that Jude’s love of window shopping was rubbing off on him. After a couple of hours, he stopped to grab a slice of pizza, and returned to his hotel, eating along the way. He usually detested his own company, but this actually felt..nice. His mind wasn’t constantly berating him like it had in the past. Maybe this was just what he needed. Some time away from the stress of the ministry seemed to be doing him some good, even if it was only temporary. 

Later that evening he sat at the vanity in his hotel room. He couldn't help but chuckle at his reflection as he finished spreading on the last bit of the bright blue peel-off face mask. His hair was pushed back with a headband to keep the mask from getting stuck in his hair and he had to admit he did look rather silly, but it felt good to actively do something for himself. He fanned at the mask with his hands, enjoying the cooling feeling of it on his skin when his phone screen lit up. It was Jude calling. Wait..Video calling?

“Eh..Uh.” He scrambled a bit, looking around the desk as if something would make him look immediately presentable. He couldn’t wipe this off, it was still wet and thick. It would smear and take far too long to wash it off now.

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” 

He panicked, leaving the phone where it was face-up on the desk and hitting the green button to answer. He sighed in relief as he saw he wasn’t in frame, the camera pointing at the ceiling. 

“Eh..Hello?” Terzo got out. He saw Jude’s face, smiling and then switching to confusion. 

“Hey..I’m sorry I didn’t warn you I was gonna call. Are you busy?” His voice was concerned as he sat back on his bed. 

“No, no, Caro, I just..Ugh..” 

“I-I’m so sorry I can just talk to you tomorrow-” Jude started, but Terzo quickly grabbed the phone, fumbling it slightly before holding it up so he was in frame, displaying his shame. A wide smile broke across Jude’s face and he brought a hand up, slightly covering his mouth. 

“Are you doing a facemask?” He asked, his tone amused. 

Terzo just sighed, his head falling forward as he smiled. 

“You caught me..” He said, looking back up. “Very sexy, I know..” he chuckled.

“I haven’t done one in so long.” Jude said. Terzo couldn't help but sigh as he looked at him. His hair was also pulled back out of his face, he was wearing glasses, fuck he looked adorable in glasses, and an oversized shirt that looked like it could slide off his shoulder if it was pulled the right way. Terzo wanted to sink his teeth into the tender flesh between Jude’s neck and shoulder so badly.

Jude gasped softly. “We should do some together!”

Terzo shook himself from his thoughts. 

“Eh? Facemasks?” He asked, trying to refocus. Jude nodded quickly. 

“I used to do them all the time in college and I’ve really been slacking in the skincare department lately..” He admitted, bringing a hand up to rub over his cheek. Terzo shook his head. Jude’s skin was so smooth and perfect, like he was carved from the most beautiful tawny shade of marble. If he could, he would spend the rest of his life worshiping that skin with his lips and hands. Terzo once again had to rip his mind from thoughts of ravishing Jude and spoke up.

“I-I meant to ask you if..Tomorrow you would like to meet me at the eighty-first street station? I wanted to take you to do something.. And then maybe after, if you’d like,” Terzo said, speaking slowly, partially so as to not stumble over his words, and partially due to the face mask tightening around his mouth as it dried, “We could..come back here to my hotel for..facemasks and maybe a movie?” He got out, his heart speeding up as he finished. Terzo watched as Jude’s cheeks darkened a bit. 

“Oh..” Jude said, a bit breathlessly. “That sounds wonderful..I-I could meet you around noon? I have a few errands to run..”

“I think that will  work just fine..” Terzo hummed. He suddenly caught a glimpse at the smaller version of himself on his screen and cringed. 

“Caro, I will see you tomorrow. I can’t even take myself seriously looking like this..” he groaned.

Jude let out a musical laugh, rolling his eyes. 

“I think you look cute..” He said, smiling warmly and tilting his head a bit. Terzo felt his cheeks warm under the mask as he let out a nervous laugh. 

“Goodnight, Terzo..” Jude said softly, giving a little wave. 

“Goodnight..” Terzo sighed, smiling as much as he could before hanging up.

He sat back in his chair and let out a deep sigh. He knew they had already spent so much time together this week, but during these past two days he strangely found himself missing Jude. His heart raced at the idea of seeing him tomorrow. 

After removing the mask and cleaning himself up, he climbed into bed and pulled out his phone. Another message from Jude..

He opened it to see a line of text along with a photo of Jude, smiling, with a green clay mask on his face. 

‘Lucera had some facemasks! Now we’re even.’

Terzo couldn't help but laugh out loud, bringing the phone down to hold it to his chest. He sighed, smiling as he typed out a quick response and a ‘goodnight’. 

Lord below.. He was in trouble.