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Chapter Text

"I always wondered what would happen if you placed something living into the Cauldron. I guess we'll find out."

The King of Hybern looked over at the growing collection of humans gathering in the otherwise empty courtroom. A small number of fae guards were needed to keep them in line. Every human in the room looked like they would easily lose a fight to the impressive guards, and they knew it. They had watched, in horror and confusion, as several humans had already fallen to the king's twisted experiments. One had a few drops of the cauldron's water forced into their mouth and had died a sudden, swift death. Another had almost a full tankard shoved down their throat and had died a rather more gruesome and violent death. One poor lady had been injected with water from the cauldron, and Y/N had looked away at that particular moment. She couldn't stomach the pain that the elderly woman had experienced in her final moments, clawing at the injection site. Yet, the only person that had tried to intervene had been cut down. Y/N's feet were touching the pool of their blood, his glazed eyes staring at the room with dead judgement. The King spoke again.

"Let's start with five, the rest can be discarded with. I would like... him... him... perhaps them... those two... and her."

The King's fingered finished upon Y/N. Along with the other selected members, she was shuffled forward. As she walked in a line towards the cauldron, her silent question of what "discarded" meant was answered by the slashing of swords and the cries of the unlucky thirty-something people behind her. As she walked what felt like the gallows walk to the edge, Y/N felt only a quiet disassociation. She was here, in Hybern, because her ex - her shitty, abusive ex - had finally pushed her too far. She left him, aiming to return to her family, if they'd have her back, only to be captured by fae while she ran across the countryside. Y/N knew nothing of the politics of the fae, of their legends, or anything beyond what was whispered around fire sides or preached by fanatical groups. But what she did know, for certain, was that she was always hurtling towards some terrible fate. Her latest ex was not the first terrible ex (perhaps the worse, but the one before had been pretty spectacularly awful in his own right), nor had she been free of abuse from family, neighbours, even so called friends. When she used to tell the tales of her life, people would say that it was a sad story. Y/N tried to pretend that it wasn't, and look at the bright side when she could, but some small part of her sang quietly that horrid song: you deserve this, you are broken, you should be alone.

You are cursed.

And now, looking into the cauldron, Y/N truly believed it. What a fitting end for a sad, too short, story.

The first man was pushed into the cauldron. For what felt like hours, but was likely barely a minute, he lay beneath the water. Upon being flung out of that horrid vessel, Y/N and her fellow prisoners realised that he had become a fae.

"Interesting. Lets see what happens with the rest of you."

--------

Y/N barely registered the cold floor of the court room. She gasped for air while her face was held in a rough grip, and turned one way then the other. as she was inspected. The fact that that hand belonged to the King himself barely registered until he spoke in reply to the guard's curious question of where the prisoners go now, given that they are now fae.

"The males should go to the dungeon. We need to see if they have the abilities of our own kind. You never know, perhaps they could be your new underlings?"

Dark chuckles echoed the room, suggesting to the once-humans-now-fae that the underlings of the guards would be put through hell before ever being considered worthy of their respect. If they even lived past whatever experiments were planned for them.

"And the girl?"

Y/N looked up at the guard's comment. Y/N had never been described as beautiful by people, not compared with her sister. She wasn't hideous, just... plain. As a fae, she was definitely prettier than she was, but she still wore the tell-tale signs of having been broken down by life. The King could read on her face the past abuse, the damage caused by others. He could see the past pain, practically taste her trauma on his tongue.

Predators can seek out prey like her. They always do.

"She stays with me. I would like to spend some time with her, and see what this little sweetheart can take."

He meant to break her.

-------------

Rhys looked over the pages of notes that Azriel had provided on his latest scouting mission to Hybern. The castle of the King had laid empty, barely any fae seen around its crumbling walls for months now that the king was dead and gone. It was the perfect time to investigate.

"This seems... reckless. Even for you, Az."

"Becoming a father has made you soft as well as forgetful, then. This is nothing compared with many of our past missions."

Cass barked a laugh as he leaned back in his chair.

"I agree! Man, if only Feyre knew about the time that we needed the venom of the damn sea snake for Amren's potion-thingy? You were the bait and-"

Cass was suddenly cut off with a notebook being tossed to the temple. Rhysand was far too aware that Feyre occasionally eavesdropped on his meetings to keep in the loop while taking care of Nyx. She hated feeling left out, but also wanted to keep her powers sharp incase they were needed. Rhys also feared his lovely wife and mate more than ever as motherhood brought out a terrifying but fantastic protective streak that extended to himself. If she knew about his reckless behaviour, even from the past...

"You really think that we should go to Hybern just to explore the castle?"

"I want to focus the mission to just the lower levels, particularly the dungeon on the north side, here." Az pointed on the map to show the location.

"I have reason to believe that the King of Hybern kept his experiments there. Knowing that nature of these experiments might give us insight into anything that Hybern and those once loyal to him might still be working on."

Cassian moved over towards the pair to look at the papers, but Azriel knew from the way he shook his wings he knew that Rhysand's mind was made up, as was his. The risk of leaving whatever was in those dungeons to be kept by the enemy was too high.

"So, when are we leaving?"

---------

Azriel knew that they were entering a tomb before his shadows even had a chance to whisper so. As the three Illyrians walked down the dark corridor, only lit by their siphons, they scouted ahead from the other members of their search party, eager to be the first to find any trouble. What they found was troubling, but not in the way that any of the winged men wanted.

The first five cells all contained rotting bodies. From the looks of the carcasses, some had died of starvation, with hands reaching out between the bars. Some had died from wounds, with pools of blood long since dried beneath amputated limbs. Whatever horrid experiments were being carried out, Azriel could see that they weren't hugely successful. He almost startled when movement appeared in the sixth cell.

"Please... please help me!"

A withered male reached out, his parched lips barely able to sound out his words. Several other hands reached from other cells, with cries for help echoing along the chamber. Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian gathered together, and after a moment of deliberation, sent word to the rest of the Inner Circle to come down and help with the prisoners.

After the 7th prisoner was helped out of their cell, and handed a bowl of water and broth, Rhysand approached the brightest eyed of the group. The dishevelled male was middle aged and had a mean glint in his stare as he eyed the tall winged male. Azriel wondered if it was because he had been tortured at the hands of fae, or if this was lingering feelings from before, when he was still human.

"Please, can you tell us what happened here? Are you all that remain in these dungeons?"

Azriel knew that Rhysand was currently sifting through this male's memories. He knew that for a solid fact, as currently all the members of the inner circle were having said memories projected into their heads. Images of violent amputations, organ removals, and starvation played in vivid detail. Screams of fae, begging to be let go or even just allowed to finally die, played on repeat for a dizzying amount of time. The King of Hybern, smirking in the firelight of the dungeon, was paired with the feeling of fear... but also something else. Something that made Azriel's blood go cold.

"The King Made us in the cauldron. He wanted to test us... see if we were as strong as other fae were. He pushed our physical limits. That bastard..." The male spat on the ground, partly it seemed to get rid of the thick build up of phlegm that sat in his mouth.

"What of the female?"

Rhysand looked around at Azriel, who had asked what the rest of the Inner Circle had thought. In the memories, tied up with the King of Hybern, were images of a female. Images of her being beaten, dragged about, undressed.

Her being raped.

The males had jeered, their anger and rage targeted towards the scapegoat.

Azriel has seen how these males had been found by Hybern's soldiers. They had been found on the run in the mortal lands, in jails and backwater taverns. Places were sordid men hid from their crimes and made more trouble. It had seemed that the men who had survived the torture were the ones that were not above stealing another prisoner's provisions. Holding another prisoner down to have their leg cut off if it meant keeping theirs.

Watching an innocent female being assaulted in a court room.

"You mean Hybern's whore? That prissy bitch was in the end cell, with the wooden door. Haven't heard her sobs in a while. Probably died a while back. Good riddance."

Azriel's shadows flickered and twitched around his face, a stormy expression thundering across his features. Rhysand murmured in his head "Stand down. He isn't worth the effort. Go check on the cell."

Azriel didn't hear whatever Rhysand said to the male, although it was most likely both cutting and diplomatic. He tended to become more like a politician when he was stressed, and hearing another person being referred to as a "whore" struck a nerve with everybody in the Inner Circle, but most likely especially Rhysand. It was a good job that Feyre was with Nyx back home, otherwise the male would almost certainly be on the receiving end of her fury. Rhysand would have no ability to prevent that.

Something about the memory of the female hurt Azriel to think about. How her eyes looked, so fearful and searching for anyone to help her. Her voice had cracked when she begged for help. There even came a point when she had a dead stare, disassociating from the moment. Azriel knew the look, and knew that there would still be a war happening in her head, even as she tried to drown out what was happening to her.

As he approached the door, Azriel knew that it would be best for her to be dead. Passed away so she wouldn't be suffering anymore, early on after the castle had been abandoned. Azriel was inherently selfish, however, and he hoped that she was still somehow alive. He wasn't sure why.

As he unlocked the door with ease, the heavy wooden door opened up into a small room, flooding the coffin sized gloom with light. The clinking of chains reached Azriel's ears before he registered what he was looking at. A young female lay slumped against the far wall, chains holding her arms above her head. A heavy-looking metal collar chained her to the wall, signs that it had rubbed the skin raw with welts and bruising suggested that the metal contain faebane. She wore a thin slip, perhaps it had been a nightgown in another life, but it now barely covered her and was discoloured beyond salvaging. Cuts, bruises, and grime covered every inch of the female. Blood caked her body in places that suggested the horrors that she'd experienced. But Azriel's focus was pulled to her eyes as they fluttered open and strained against the light. Her chapped lips open, and she whimpered

"Please... don't hurt me."

A thousand golden threads shot across the room for Azriel as the mating bond snapped harder than any Ash arrow.

-----------

Y/N thought that she would be dead by now. She had hoped for it. But the pain seeping into every part of her body told her that she was in fact still alive. As the light poured in from the open door, the figure that stood in the doorway seemed larger than the usual guards. Perhaps it was the King himself? She knew that she was whimpering out a pathetic plea. Y/N knew that it never worked. However, she couldn't help it. She couldn't face the humiliation or shame of being taken by him again. She felt dirty, an uncleanness that went beyond the grime and blood on her skin. So much deeper. The figure stood still in the doorway. Perhaps he was considering leaving her there to finally succumb to their wounds.

As he suddenly began to approach her, she remembered that Y/N was cursed and that she would of course not be that lucky. Tears began to trickle down her face as she flinched from the outreached hand, barely any as she had become so dehydrated. The sound of leather rustling from behind the male made her startle, which tugged the metal around her wrist and neck. A stuttering whine came from her mouth, and the figure pulled his hand away from her.

"I am not going to hurt you. I swear. I promise you, no one is going to hurt you again."

What a beautiful lie, thought Y/N. She wanted to believe it, but she knew that this was either a cruel trick from the King or from her own mind. The words did not stop the trembling, a feat in itself that her body still had the ability to do so after such exhaustion. Y/N knew now that any words that came from her mouth would be stuttered and fearful, so she bit her lip in an effort to stay silent.

------------

Azriel was nearly screaming in his mind. His mate. His mate. Was here, in the dungeon of Hybern's castle. The bastard had tortured her, raped her, and left her in this tiny cell to rot. A thousand thoughts race through his mind, but Az focused on the first task to get her the fuck out of here. He and his shadows made quick work of the chains attached to the wall, breaking them with force that even surprised him. Azriel didn't want to try and remove the collar and wrist cuffs, as he had seen the wounds beneath them. He would only remove them when they were back safe in Velaris and he was able to get the female medical care. Azriel also had seen the flinch when he had foolishly reached for her in a moment of weakness, wanting to offer her some form of comfort. He wasn't sure what, but every cell in his body was screaming at him to hold her, comfort her, kiss her forehead and promise that she was safe. He knew, however, that he could not do any of that. At least, not yet. Once the chains were removed from her cuffs, her arms fell with a painful thud. They had been held suspended above her head for so long, the circulation coming back into them was agony, as was the intense muscle cramps.

Azriel was able to remove the chains from the collar with the least amount of movement, minimising the pain. At least, that was what he hoped. It was impossible to tell, as the female was biting her lip in an effort to stay quiet. Azriel hated that his mate wasn't expressing her pain, as if she was scared of punishment. As if she was scared of him.

"My name is Azriel. I'm with the Night Court, and we are here to rescue you. I promise, I do not want to hurt you. I am here to help you, but you can't stay here. You are injured, and need healing, and food... and water. I can help you stand, or I can carry you. I... I promise, I wouldn't... touch you any more than I need to."

Azriel held his breath as the female seemed to listen to his stumbling words, fear stilling her body. Anticipation stilled his.

Please, please let her accept his help.

After a pregnant pause, the female broke the silence.

"Y/N... m-m-my name i-is Y/N."

Azriel let out a sigh of relief, a soft smile spreading on his lips. Y/N could just about see it in the gloom, as her eyes adjusted to the backlit figure.

"Y/N, that's a beautiful name. Can you stand, Y/N?"

It had been so long since someone had called her by her name. As Y/N shakely grasped Azriel's scarred hand, she attempted to shift her weight forward. Her arms still ached, and nothing in her body seemed to work. Y/N collapsed forward into Azriel, who caught her gently in his large hands. Y/N cried in pain and panic, eyes shooting open.

"I-I I can't! I'm sorry! I can't sta-stand!" she gasped out, frantically apologising. Fear restarted the trembling so badly that Azriel could hear her chattering teeth. He cursed everyone that had ever made her feel fear, everyone who had ever hurt her. He wanted to tear the world apart.

Azriel realised that there were males out there who mocked her pain, called her a whore. He knew he wouldn't be able to calmly walk by them without help.

"Rhysand!" Azriel called out in his mind.

A calm talon traced his mind shield, and Azriel clumsily threw his revelation at his friend, projecting the last few minutes into his mind. He haphazardly tried to explain, whilst quietly trying to make reassuring noises to the near hysterical female.

"She's my mate. I need to bring her back to Velaris. Now."

"Do it. You'll need to winnow from the castle wall because of the wards, but the way is clear. I'll let Madja know to meet you in the house."

Azriel looked down as the still shaking female in his arms. Y/N's breath was coming in quick gasps, close to hyperventilating. Azriel shifted his hands to lightly grasp her upper arms, and he leaned in close.

"Y/N, you are safe with me. If you agree to it, I will pick you up, and carry you to the castle wall. There, we will winnow - a way of moving long distances with magic - and I will take you to a safe place. There is a healer waiting there. Madja is very kind, and will be able to stop your pain. But I won't do anything that you don't agree to. So, Y/N, may I carry you?"

Y/N gasped her breaths. She couldn't believe that the huge winged male in front of her was not going to hurt her. He was giving her a choice. A choice of whether she wanted to be rescued, carried off to a healer.

Azriel was asking if she was agreeing to be held. So long had it been since anyone had asked her permission.

Y/N couldn't decide if it was bravery or fear that made her nod her head and gasp out "Please." Bravery to trust this male and to leave this awful place, or fear that he would leave her there, shut the door and let her rot, or even worse: become angry.

Nothing was scarier than an angry male.

Azriel drew in air for the second relieved sigh in a short time. Shifting to allow an easier hold, Azriel slowly placed an arm under Y/N's legs and another wrapped around her waist. The trembling became worse, but as he rose and brought Y/N close to his chest, she allowed her head to lay against him. His heart was beating fast, faster than his calm exterior would suggest. As he straighten to his full height, he carefully turned towards the door.

Azriel was holding his mate in his arms. Despite the dire circumstances, he was so grateful, that he thought that his heart might burst from his chest. When Y/N's head rested against said chest, he couldn't help but pull his arms slightly tighter to his body, cherishing the feel of her seemingly curling into him.

"I promise to protect you, Y/N. I've got you." he murmured into her hair.

Azriel stepped out of the cell, holding his world in his arms.

-------

Chapter Text

Azriel was overprotective at the best of times.

This was not the best of times.

Y/N was trembling in his arms, and he could smell the fear wafting off her. He knew that she feared him: what he could do to her. What others had done to her. Azriel also knew that she most likely feared the other prisoners, and so he let Rhysand know once again via his thoughts that he would not hesitate to end any of them over so much as a sideways glance. Rhysand, who had been much the same with Feyre, struggled to hide his thinly veiled approval.

Azriel could also smell other scents on his mate, which infuriated him. The smell of her blood, of her urine, of her sweat and tears. The only scent that made him scrunch his nose in disgust was the smell of another male. One that was long dead and far away. Yet his mark still lingered. How Azriel wanted to kill the King once more for what he had done to Y/N. Azriel knew that the moment that he had her back in Velaris, he was going to make sure that Y/N was bathed and healed, so that she only smelled of lavender and rose. He hoped she liked those scents - they seemed like they would be scents she'd like. Soft, sweet, and calm. So different from the darkness and dampness here. Azriel slightly re-positioned his arms so that Y/N was turned more towards himself, and walked forward with sure steps.

------

Y/N felt shame bubble up as the beautiful male who had saved her took a small inhale of her and scrunched his face in disgust for a moment. So fast that he probably wasn't aware that he'd even done it, and yet it reminded her that she was filthy in many ways now. She was aware of the blood and grime that clung to her body, and hated the way that she knew that she still smelled of him. The King. Fae had excellent senses of smell, and the King had reminded her often of how much she would smell of him after every visit. Y/N desperately wanted to wash him off. Scrub until the skin was pink and new. Being chained to the wall had meant that, along with the grossness that had accumulated during her "sessions", for the past ... Gods only knew how long it had been... she had been forced to urinate where she stood. And eventually sat.

In short, Y/N could not blame Azriel for being disgusted with her. She was disgusted with herself. Shame and humiliation flooded her cheeks, and Y/N felt the pin pricks of tears behind her eyes. Luckily for her remaining dignity, Y/N was far too dehydrated to cry properly at this point. This was something that the other prisoners were going to put to the test.

"I guess the whore still lives."

"Hybern's whore!"

"Damn, she stinks worse than us."

"Wonder if she'd already promised the big guy a fuck?"

The prisoners jeered, having gained confidence from their rescue and finally being free.

Azriel stilled, tensing every muscle in his body. Y/N felt like it was similar to being held by a statue, how unmoving he was. Y/N stopped her breathing as her trembling body refused to still, her breathing becoming harsher. She was terrified of the male holding her - could the prisoners not see how much this male gave out the feeling of shadow and strength? The promise of death? He was like violence and vengeance personified. Why the fuck would they even breathe while he was there, let alone jeered? It wasn't like it wasn't true. Y/N believed the words that the prisoners said. Every word hit her already crumbling self worth like a hammer on a rusted nail. But their speaking seemed to anger Azriel, so could it be that he didn't agree with the words? He had seemed disgusted at the smell of her before...

A male voice from behind her interrupted her stampeding thoughts.

"If you value your lives, then I would be silent about now."

Y/N spun her head in Azriel's arms, startling with wide eyes as she took in the rest of the prison. All the prisoners were out of their cells. Two other huge, winged men stood in the room, taking up the space with their bulk and bat-like wings. Two females, one blonde and beautiful, the other much shorter and striking, seemed to be speaking in the doorway. The last female, tall and stunning, with barred teeth, stood next to one of the men. It appeared like she was being held back by the male, who has been the one to speak earlier. There were so many people, including so many males, in this room. They looked well-fed and ready for war.

Y/N was terrified.

She wasn't sure why she felt so, but her instinct was to cling to the male carrying her. Azriel smelled like chilled mist mixed with cedar, like walking through a forest at dawn. Her hands grasped as his tough leathers, and she drew herself closer to his chest. Y/N barely registered that Azriel seemed to be awoken from his statue-like stillness, and cradled her higher on his body so that her head would rest on his neck. Turning her head inwards, she burrowed into the new safe place she found. Y/N tried to ignore the other people, and found that she felt a wave of peace wash over her. As long as she couldn't see the people her, Y/N could pretend that they weren't here. How she hoped that Azriel took pity on her enough to get her away from here. Maybe he really was going to rescue her?

-------

Azriel was ready to use his shadows to kill 60% of the room. He stood still, the shadows dashing around and, threatening to flood the mouths of the prisoners, suddenly cutting off their air. As Y/N burrowed into his neck and her shakey breaths started to deepen from the tight hyperventaliation that they had been moments ago, a switch went off in his head and his shadows flew away from the males' mouths. Azriel's focus went to Y/N, and his shadows swarmed around his body like a snowstorm of darkness, momentarily hiding them from watchful eyes. Azriel's siphons glowed as his power raised through him. Looking down at the female in his arms, fury fuelled his thoughts as the prisoners began to tremble, no longer looking with lust and disgust at the female in his arms. They were beginning to realise that not all fae were like those in Hybern, and that these fae didn't seem to agree with their attitude towards the female.

"You- you can have her! We didn't mean anything by it! She just- it was just- the guards said if she didn't please the King, then we would suffer! And we did!"

"I mean, look at her! She never lost a leg!"

The prisoners started making excuses and worried sounds, which made the swarm of darkness around Azriel larger and more unruly, and the siphons glow with a brighter blue. It looked like cold fire, blazing behind the shadows.

"I would be silent if I were you. Either Azriel will have your heads, or I'll let go of Nesta, and you'll feel what true pain is."

Azriel began walking through the corridor, every fae moving out of the way in either quiet respect or frantic fear. His shadows kept Y/N hidden from everyone, but Azriel could feel the curious stares of the Inner Circle, sans Rhysand. He knew that Rhysand would most likely inform them before they arrived in Velaris, explaining his absence from the mission he himself had planned.

The precious load in his arms was more important.

Azriel reached the staircase, and took the chance to look down at the figure in his arms. His siphons began to fade in brightness, calming as he climbed away from the hell that Y/N had been in too long.

--------

Y/N was aware of the clearer air, the smell of the sea and salty fog drifting into her nostrils, as Azriel reached the top of the stairs. She tensed for a second, knowing that if he took a left, he would walk them to the throne room, where much of her humiliation and torture occurred. However, he instead went right, walking down the flag-stone corridor. Her breathing was still shallow - Y/N was in what could only be described as shock. She never expected to get out, and yet here she was. Being carried to safety by a strong warrior. Her own angel, complete with wings. She closed her eyes and let her fingers loosen on the leathers that he wore. Y/N's hands were cramped and ached. Her arms won't move up to his neck, instead curling uselessly in toward her chest. Y/N was aware of how exposed she was, and how disgusting she was.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I must be foul to carry."

Her whisper sounded pathetic to her own ears, but Y/N felt like she had to say something at least. To address the obvious grossness that was clinging to her. She already knew that her smell was disgusting.

"You are not foul - not in any way, Y/N. Please do not apologise, if anyone should, let it be me. I should have come a long time ago."

Y/N was confused by this - why should Azriel have come before? Perhaps he was just being nice. It might be that he was a kind person, and helped everyone. He was so beautiful, he must have people flocking around him always. Azriel was being polite about the smell and her muck, just being considerate. He will probably never see her after this heroic rescue, because someone so beautiful and brave and kind should be around other people like that. Quietly, Y/N gathered her thoughts. It was hard to think, the exhaustion and lack of water and food was making her mind fuzzy. She just knew that she didn't want Azriel to leave her. Why was she thinking that? Why did she feel that way?

"Please, I'm sorry, please stay. Don't... l'm sorry. Please..."

Y/N's head lolled in Azriel's arms, her whispers a garble of begging murmurs that faded as she lost consciousness, the spike in adrenaline that woke her up blipping out.

"I am not leaving you, Y/N. I won't let you go. I have waited 500 years to hold you close, and now that I have you, you will never be without me again."

Y/N barely heard the words, yet she absorbed their meaning like a warm fire on a winter's day. She fought unconsciousness as they walked through a door to be hit with high, harsh winds as they left the castle. A juttering of wings and the sensation of moving through the air persuaded Y/N to blink her eyes open, just in time to see the wash of black shadows flood her view as the world became wind and darkness for a few seconds. While it should have terrified her, Y/N just stared up at Azriel. His hazel eyes stared into hers, his features elegant but strong, and Y/N felt peace. A small, reassuring smile graced his lips for a moment, before he gently pulled her head towards his neck, supporting it securely against him as the world came back and bright. Y/N was alerted to the sensation that felt almost like Azriel had pressed his lips softly to her temple in a tender kiss, but she didn't see how that could be possible. Why would he want to touch her, let alone show such affection.

Y/N almost missed the sight of the sprawling city beneath them, hundreds of feet up in the air. A beautiful house, more like a palace, carved into the mountain, rose to meet them, as Azriel landed with sure feet on the balcony. Pausing for a moment to allow Y/N to take in the view and to still herself for a breath, Azriel appeared to finally relax slightly. He never placed her down, and held Y/N still closely to his chest.

"Welcome to Velaris, Y/N."

Chapter Text

Azriel carried Y/N close to his chest as he almost ran through the corridors of the House of Wind. He wasn't thinking clearly, just focusing on Y/N's breathing, the iron smell of her blood encrusting the collar still around her neck... He hadn't realised that he had arrived to his room until he came to the door Luckily, Madja was standing there, her medical bag at hand. She kept her composure upon seeing the pair, even although her eyes widen slightly at the sight of Y/N. Azriel didn't even need to say anything before she led them across the hall, towards one of the bathing rooms.

"Quickly, we need to remove the collars and cuffs before I can assess the damage. It will be easier to treat her while she is bathed. Bring her to the pool."

The room contained one of the large, deep bathing pools that usually overlooked Velaris. Today, however, the House had appeared to realise that Y/N would appreciate more privacy while still being able to see the sky. From the pool, the sky was the only part that was seen, with a heavy curtain blocking the city beneath. Azriel was relieved, since even the appearance of a single other fae had made Y/N's heart rate quicken and pull in towards his neck more, trying to hide from sight. Azriel leaned his head down, and softly cooed to Y/N, whispering encouraging words.

"This is Madja. She is a healer, and she is going to help you."

Madja, again, kept her composure, despite witnessing the Shadowsinger of the Night Court acting so uncharacteristically soft towards another. At least one that was not Nyx.

"You'll stay?" Y/N whimpered.

Madja finally showed her surprise, and glanced at Azriel with a questioning look. Rhysand had informed her that, along with checking for external injuries, she would be attending intimate injuries as a result of the poor fae's assault. She didn't expect the female to want Azriel to remain while she carried out the examination. However, Madja saw how the female clung to Azriel, fear on her face, and understood that, while this female might not realise that the large winged male was her mate, something of his energy and presence provided safety.

Azriel sat beside the pool, Y/N positioned in his arms across his lap, and met her eyes.

"I will leave only when you ask me to. I can wait outside, if you would like. I just want you to be comfortable."

"Please," Y/N whispered, her voice rasping, "I don't want you to go."

Azriel calmly nodded, and merely kicked off his boots before walking down the first few steps of the bathing pool, sitting once more with Y/N on his lap. This allowed Y/N to be submerged in the warm, soapy water, that smelled of roses and lavender, just as Azriel had hoped. It also put her level with Madja, who set up her work station at the side of the pool.

"I need you to remove the cuffs and collar, and the dress. Now, Y/N, I am going to need to remove your dress. If you want Azriel to leave, please just let me know, but otherwise I will work as quickly as possible, and I am sure that he will not look."

While the last comment was pointed, Azriel felt a rush of emotions come over him as Y/N squirmed slightly in his arms. Gently, he used his strength and shadows to remove the cuffs and collar, exposing the raw and bloody skin beneath. Azriel then glanced at Y/N's face, giving a small smile of encouragement, before closing his eyes with an exaggerated movement and holding his head to look dead ahead. All he could feel in his arms was a slight tugging of the material that covered Y/N's body and hear her whimpers at the movement, Madja muttering quiet apologies as she began washing and tending to Y/N's injuries.

----------

Y/N's body was almost exhausted from the ordeal of being rescued, and yet a sudden adrenaline rush flooded her system upon entering the pool. It reminded her of the Cauldron - the deep water, the movement. If it wasn't for Azriel, his solid form that sat firm, she knew that she would be sobbing hysterically and begging to be taken out. Instead, Y/N felt the intense panic, but was able to breathe through it, however ragged her breaths were. Her humiliation at being naked in front of the strange female and on top of Azriel was reduced by the sheer joy of finally being cleaned. Dirt, blood, and grime was lifted off her skin, and gentle currents in the water moved the dirty water away, replenishing it with fresh water.

Madja instructed Azriel to lower parts of Y/N into the water - tipping her head back so that shampoo could be ran through it, submerging her stomach so the bruises could be distinguished from the dirt. Her wrists were washed and bound while the third cycle of shampoo sat in her hair, Y/N's head resting against the now drenched leathers of Azriel. By the time that conditioner, thick and heavy, was messaged into Y/N's head, she was almost nodding off. The heat overrode the humiliation that she felt, and Madja's kind words help to settle the panic somewhat. Azriel's eyes had remained closed the whole time, and he was so careful with his movements, not once had he touched somewhere on her body that was close to being intimate.

"Now, Y/N, there is another place I must examine and treat. This will likely be upsetting, and potentially painful, but it must be done. It cannot be done in the pool. I will be as fast as possible. Azriel, please carry her to the table."

Y/N's blood went cold, and despite being cleaned and washed, she felt the dirtiness creeping into her body. Azriel frowned, obviously realising that he needed to open his eyes for the next part, and what it would entail. He leaned down, seeming to sense how worried Y/N was. His dark hair slide across his face, as he whispered

"Is it okay if I open my eyes. I swear I will not look at your body - just to place you down. We can cover you. I can also leave while Madja looks at your..."

He trailed off, not knowing how to voice what wounds were going to be treated next. Y/N drew in a shakey breath as she curled herself into Azriel, encircling his neck with her arms as tight as she could. The attempt to hide her body as much as possible while clinging to the male was feeble, and Y/N felt pathetic.

She was pathetic.

"Y..you can open your eyes. Just... please... don't look. And please stay."

-------

Azriel hated himself. He felt like the worst fae in existence while he held his mate in his arms as she was bathed. He hasn't defended her, and she had been ravaged by a barbaric male. Left to rot in a prison and beaten and ridiculed. And, despite her injuries and torment, Azriel was plagued by sensual thoughts. He wished to see her body, make her feel good. His mating bond screamed at him to prove himself a good lover and mate, and help Y/N forget about every horrible action taken against her through worshipping her body and mind.

How dare he. A monster.

When his eyes blinked open, Azriel looked stoically forward as he rose from the steps and ascended from the pool. Water dripped off his wings and leathers, and from the edge of his vision, he could see that water was running off Y/N's body and legs, The skin was paler than it has been before, the dirt and gore removed and left was a marbling of discolouration on the skin. Her skin had numerous bruises covering her - Azriel sickly thought that they looked like flowers blossoming as he couldn't focus on them fully without looking at them. He wanted to keep his promise - he wanted to keep every promise to Y/N - despite how much he wanted to examine her. Make a note of every injury, and commit them to memory, so that he could do the same to the next male that dared to come near to her.

Azriel felt such rage at every male that had ever hurt her, looked upon her body without her consent. As he lowered Y/N onto the table, he refused to let go of her fully. He positioned himself behind her head, so that he could gaze down upon her face and hold her hand. A towel was draped over her form, covering her from chest to thigh. Finally, Azriel could take in her body.

Gods, the wrath that Azriel felt in that moment could tear open the land.

Bruises covered Y/N's body. Her wrists and neck were bandaged, as were several places where the flesh had been stitched up. Y/N's skin was much paler than it should have been, and scars in a range of healing stages littered her limbs. Whatever lay beneath the towel was likely similar.

Azriel drew in a sharp breath as Y/N whined, Madja beginning to position Y/N's legs so that she could examine her intimate area. Y/N's legs began to shake and tremble, her breath quickening. The towel was positioned so that everything was hidden from Azriel, but he knew that as Y/N's knees were opened, she must have been exposed.

"I will be as fast as I can be. This... will probably hurt. If it gets too much, tell me, and I will stop immediately. I need to hear you say it is okay to begin."

Y/N's face was already crumpling, tears falling from her eyes into her wet hairline. Her eyes darted from Madja to the ceiling to Azriel to some unseen thing in the room that Azriel knew was the king of Hybern. That bastard's ghost still haunted everything, just as he had in life.

Y/N's two hands clasped Azriel's much larger, holding on tightly a death grip. He knelt down so that his head was just over hers, blocking the rest of the room from view. Gods, he hopped that he was comforting her.

Finally making steady eye contact, Y/N told Madja that she could begin. The moment that she began the procedure, Azriel's heart began to break. Y/N sobbed and hyperventilated, panic and flashbacks assaulting her body and mind. Azriel never looked up from Y/N's face, and kept talking nonsense to her in an effort to comfort her.

"I know, this is terrible, but you are being so brave. My sweet flower, it is okay. You are safe. We aren't going to hurt you. This will heal you. It'll be over soon. I am so sorry, my darling. You are safe, Y/N. I'm here, I promise I am not going anywhere. You are here, in Velaris. It's okay, keep breathing. Breath, my sweet little darling."

Azriel's rambles continued until Madja pulled away, and gave a grime nod to Azriel. Y/N snapped her legs shut, and curled in on her side into the fetal position.

--------------

Y/N never wanted to ever feel anything there again.

Despite Azriel's lovely words, and Madja being gentle and healing, she hadn't felt like she was in Velaris at all. She was back in Hybern. In those sessions. In her nightmares .

She was swaddled in a warm rob, her arms too tightly curled against her chest to be put through the arm holes. A firm pair of arms pulled her against a warm chest, free of the wet leathers and instead covered in soft cotton. The sensation of being carried a short distance, conversation echoing above her, some of it coming from the chest that carried her. Y/N was aware of very little beyond the arms that held her, but was glad that the nightmares and flashbacks began to ebb away, as did the sobbing and panic. Without the sensations between her legs, the feelings of intrusion, she was able to come back to the present.

Y/N became aware of the soft bed - something she hadn't been on in at least a year - only once the arms had been extracted from her body. She instantly missed them, and let out a feeble noise. When did she get so tired? Her body protested every movement, but she desperately needed the warmth and security of those arms and chest. Some primal part of Y/N told her that they meant safety.

"Open your mouth, sweetheart. This is water. We will try some broth if you can keep this down."

The gentle voice and rough hands tenderly positioned her to take the cold liquid. It felt heavenly down her throat, and she wanted to drink it faster than what the kind hands gave her. It took a few minutes to persuade them to giver her more, but Y/N was also given warm, flavourful broth. After the first few mouthful, she felt her stomach cramp and was laid back down.

Y/N, with a now calm stomach full of liquid, clean and warm for the first time in so long, held fast to the hand that had helped her. Her eyes had remained closed for most of the last while, fearing seeing the remainder of the ghosts of her pasts. However, she needed to see the male one last time, before she could finally rest beneath the soft covers she was nestled under.

His blurry outline showed that Azriel was sitting on the bed in the darkened room. Madja, carrying the tray of broth and water, was just leaving the room. Only the light from a small candle coloured the room.

Gently tugging on his hand, Y/N whispered one word before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

"Stay."

Azriel lay down beside her, on top of the covers and propped up upon the pillows. Blowing out the candle, he settled into his watch over her sleeping form.

He never let go of her hand, nor looked away from her finally peaceful face.

Chapter Text

Azriel hadn't gone to sleep when his shadows came and whispered to him that the others had arrived back at the House.

Gazing down at Y/N, he knew that he wasn't going to leave her side. She was sleeping soundly, and Azriel wasn't about to disturb her sleep. Outside his door, footsteps echoed in the corridor and a chorus of hushed whispers filtered under the door. Azriel caught the occasional phrase, enough to guess that they were discussing him, and Y/N. Rhysand had no doubt given them an update on the situation, and he knew that his nosy found family would be eager to speak with him and meet his mate. At that thought, Azriel gave a small smile and softly stroked a lock of Y/N's hair away from her face.

He had his mate. Here. In Velaris.

"All of you, away. I'm going to speak with him. You two... flap off!"

At that, the High Lady of the Night Court entered his room, seemingly forgetting to knock in her frustration. She gave a small start when she caught sight of Azriel's eyes, staring at Feyre from across the room in the early dawn light.

"I'm sorry if we woke you. The others were... keen to come in. I've sent them away - it's just us."

Feyre held up a bundle in her arms.

"I brought some nightwear for Y/N. Madja spoke with us when we came in."

Feyre waited for Azriel to nod his head before approaching. She was more aware than most of what a mate could be like - especially an Illyrian male - so soon after finding his mate. Especially in the state that Y/N had been found. Feyre knew that she was probably the best person to come and help Y/N and Azriel.

And she wanted to be the one to tell him the news. It probably hadn't even occurred to him.

Feyre smiled when she reached the edge of the bed. Azriel, sitting up straight, gazed fondly down at the female lying beside him. Y/N, even in her sleep, held fast to his hand. Azriel did not dare move, as he had kept his promise so far.

"She's very beautiful, Azriel." Feyre whispered, beaming up at him. She knew how much this meant to him.

"I can't believe I found her. I... I just want to keep her safe. What happened to her..."

Azriel drew in a heavy breath, fighting to remain calm. The guilt came in waves; it had done all night.

"It wasn't your fault. You saved her. She's here, safe, because of you. That is what matters."

Feyre stared at Azriel, hoping that her words were sinking in. Seeing that he was still caught in the currents of his thoughts, she began to pull a set of oversized pyjamas from the bundle. This seemed to snap Azriel out of his trance, since he frowned and leaned forward.

"I don't want her wearing anything of yours, the scent-"

"Oh, I'm aware of what you big babies are like, with your scenting and being territorial and manly. Why do you think that I am here instead of your brothers? These are yours, if you couldn't tell by the ridiculous length. I doubt you've ever worn them more than once, so I gave them a quick wash."

Azriel settled back, letting out a soft chuckle. Feyre was right - instinctively he felt the need to keep any scent that wasn't his away from Y/N, which would include the clothes of a mated female, even one so close as his sister-in-law. He was beginning to guess that he would be a bit of a nightmare during this whole adjustment period. Cassian was definitely going to push his buttons.

With Feyre's instructions, and once again closing his eyes, Azriel helped to manoeuvre Y/N into the dark blue pyjamas. A present from his mother, one that he truly had only worn once to keep her happy, was a soft fleece beneath his hand. Azriel never wore clothes to bed, and was seldom out of his fighting leathers to have many other clothes, let alone pyjamas. He assumed that he would be wearing these types of clothes going forward, as Y/N would not be sleeping anywhere but his room. Already, he planned to make a bunk on the floor by the bed, until Y/N was comfortable with him sleeping next to her. He would offer her Truth-Teller each night, to make her feel safe, and Azriel knew that he would go to any length to make Y/N feel in control.

If he was to lie on the floor with a blindfold on and a dagger to his throat each night to make his mate feel safe, Azriel would fall sleep with a smile on his face.

"Do I want to know what you're thinking?" Feyre smirked at Azriel, as he was once more stirred from his thoughts.

"She's very lucky to have you."

"I want to do anything I can to help her. Y/N has been through so much, it might take years for her to want to accept the bond, I can only hope..."

Azriel didn't want to imagine what would happen if Y/N rejected the bond. He had watched Elain slowly break Lucien's heart, and in this moment, Azriel felt like a monster for ever encouraging it. His desire to be loved, by anyone, had led him down some wretched paths.

"Azriel, there is something that you need to know. About Y/N. Madja discovered it while she examined her, but need to verify it with me before she said anything."

Azriel felt cold claim his heart - what had those bastards done to her? Was there more damage done to her, damage that he hadn't seen? Was it an injury that she might not heal from? Was she... could she be...?

"Is she... preg-"

"Oh, no! No, Azriel, Y/N isn't pregnant, nothing like that! I'm so sorry to make you worry!"

At that, Azriel let out a relieved breath. He wasn't sure how he would feel if that was the case. Azriel wanted nothing more than to erase the memories of anything that had happened to Y/N in those dungeons, but anything that was part Y/N... he would love.

It wouldn't be like he could have children with her. Azriel understood how dangerous it was for non-illyrian's to give birth to children with wings. Feyre had almost lost her life.

"It is to do with that, in a way, I guess. But it's not a bad thing. I personally think it's great news. Madja found during the examination that Y/N has the hips to birth an Illyrian baby. It was probably given to her by the Cauldron - she might not have even realised with all the other changes that happen with becoming a Fae. I think.. you should take it as a sign, that you two are truly destined to be together."

Azriel felt his eyes well with tears. He could barely keep his breath level as he looked from Feyre's beaming face to his own miracle, lying angelically in his arms. The Cauldron had given her the ability to bear his children. That had to be a sign. He drew in a shakey breath before pulling Y/N to his chest. The movement caused her to shift in her sleep, frowning slightly and groaning softly. After a few moments of being held in Azriel's warm arms, Y/N relaxed as the feeling of safety and love blanketed her, and she fell back to sleep.

"I will do anything for Y/N. I have never known love like this. She's my purpose."

Feyre sighed with contentment, raising to her feet as she crossed the room back towards the door.

"I can see that. I'm truly so happy for you, Azriel. We all are. You won't be disturbed, and everyone has been told to leave you in peace for a few days at least. Let the House know if you need anything. Nesta has been very specific with her threats."

And with that, Azriel was left alone once more, and finally allowed himself to drift off above the covers, holding the swaddled form of the greatest treasure he had ever found.

------------------------

Y/N was pretty sure that she was dead, and was mildly surprised that what seemed to come after death was so lovely. She was warm, held tightly to a form that was breathing in steady inhales and exhales, and her pain, while present, had massively reduced from what it had been. Had she finally died in the dungeon?

Everything came flooding back at once. Y/N suddenly felt very cold and very sick as the memories of being found, and rescued, and bathed, and healed, all came back at once. For some reason, the mortification of her rescuers seeing her like that was upsetting her more than the pain. Y/N lay in the soft bed, and as her eyes started to take in her blurry surroundings, waiting for the world to come back into focus, she felt the concern that someone should have realised that she was a lost cause.

At some point in that dungeon, she had lost her fight.

Y/N felt the arms around her shift slightly, which was enough for her fight or flight to kick in. A male meant danger, and that kicked in Y/N's fear response. Unfortunately, she had been conditioned well. As the panic flooded her system, she felt frozen in place. Y/N's breath came out in rapid, frantic gasps as she attempted to turn away from the body. Y/N felt the pain that had been lurking beneath her skin from her injuries flare up at the movement, and she let out a whimper. The body beside her stilled, and she knew that she had awoken them.

Fear drowned her brain, and Y/N felt the trembling take control of her body. She couldn't move, and in that moment, Y/N desperately wanted to sink into a pretend world or some other imagination.

The male shifted so that he was sitting up, with Y/N still in his arms.

"Y/N? Are you awake? It's okay, you're safe now."

Y/N slowly opened her eyes, treacherous tears slipping out. Taking in the earnest face of the male above her, Y/N felt some of her fear ebb away. For some reason that she could not explain, she trusted this male. Y/N quickly remembered every human man that she had trusted, and how often they had turned around and hurt her, so she wondered if her terrible instincts could be trusted.

But this... this felt different.

Azriel gently sat Y/N up in the bed, still under the thick duvet. She lightly palmed the front of her pyjamas in a questioning way, wondering how she ended up wearing such comfortable clothes. She had never own something so nice and soft.

"Feyre, my sister-in-law, dressed you while you were sleeping. We thought you might feel better waking a bit more covered up. She was the only person who came in. I was here the whole night. I never let go - I told you that I wouldn't." At that, Azriel raised his hand, that softly held her own.

Y/N remembered being placed in the bed, the fear of facing the darkness alone, and the relief and warmth upon her hand being held by Azriel. She couldn't explain it, but it felt right.

Y/N looked around the room. Light flooded the room, with huge floor to ceiling windows on 2 of the walls. A small balcony was just beyond a pair of doors at the far end of the room, and what looked like a washroom was through another door to the left of the bed. The room looked like it was purposefully open and light as possible, the complete opposite of the dungeon. A small weight was removed from the boulders on her chest at the sight.

"You called this place... Vel.. Vela-?"

"Velaris. We are in Velaris. It is a city in the Night Court, the land north of where you were. It is the safest place in all of Pyrthian, I promise. You are in the House of the Wind, which is above the city. Once you've healed, I'll show you everything, Y/N."

Y/N stared at the endless sky out of the windows, around the room which was full of light. She stole a glance at the face of the male, who smiled softly at her.

"The House seems to think that you would need plenty of light. My room has never been this... bright before." A soft chuckle punctuated the statement, and Y/N was confused not only by the statement, but also by the soft smile that broke across her face.

Y/N relaxed slightly against the headboard, and started to feel her body's messages. She desperately needed use the washroom, and felt a thirst sting her throat. As if reading her mind, Azriel moved swiftly from the bed and to her side, and knelt so he was eye level with Y/N.

"Some breakfast will be brought to us - don't worry, no one will enter our room without you expressly giving permission. Whatever you want to eat, just let me know and I can bring it. Lets start with simple things first, just until your stomach can manage more. You really need to rest, but I can bring you books, or I can ask Feyre for art supplies. Nesta - that's my other sister-in-law - showed me how to ask the House for anything, but it can be temperamental. Madja said that she will come by and check on you, but again she will only come in if you say that it is okay... Do you want me to send for her now? Are you in pain? You're wincing."

Azriel reached for Y/N, who was slightly rocking back and forth as her bladder screamed at her, but as his hand moved but an inch, the sharp grimace from Y/N reminded him that that wasn't a good idea. He was aware that he had just opened his mouth and let his stream of consciousness erupt out. Cassian and Rhysand would have a field day upon seeing him around Y/N. Azriel was struggling to care what his brothers thought.

"I... I would love br-breakfast, and I am in a bit of pain, but I am sorry... may I use the washroom, if possible? Pl-please?"

Azriel's face flushed as he nodded and offered a hand to Y/N. Shakily, she grasped the offered limb and tried to rise out of the bed.

Y/N's body was having none of that.

Seeing her inability to use her legs, Azriel offered both of his arms, palms skyward, in an obvious carrying position. Y/N considered the offer for a few seconds before nodding as her aching bladder won over her shame. Azriel, on his part, tried to gently carry Y/N as smoothly as possible, attempting to give out as much reassurance as possible. For the court torturer, this was so out of his wheelhouse that he found himself humming softly to Y/N as he approached the door of the washroom. What surprised him the most was that Y/N seemed to rest her head on his chest when he did that, as if she was listening to the soothing medley.

Azriel left Y/N alone in the washroom for a few minutes, giving her the privacy that she needed to attend to herself. While she did that, Azriel discovered a variety of small dishes appearing in the room. Some contained soft, warm foods like broth and porridge, and others contained fruit and steamed vegetables, all in small portions. One small gathering of dishes contained bite-sized helpings of several sweets, and Azriel got the distinct impression that this was a post-starvation tasting selection.

Azriel decided to ask Nesta how to give the House a gift in the near future.

A soft call from the washroom summoned Azriel, who gently shooed away Y/N's stammered apologies.

"Please, Y/N, you mustn't apologise. Tell me if there is anything that I can do to aid you, anything, and it will be done. What you can do for me if just to rest. Please try and eat and drink what you can, and tell me if you are in any pain whatsoever. Madja will be coming within the hour, and then we can have you back asleep as soon as she's done helping you."

As Y/N was settled back into bed, Azriel started to fetch the different bowls and cups, offering the mini feast to Y/N with an eager expression. Y/N took small bites from a variety of dishes, particularly liking the sweet, creamy porridge and the juicy strawberries. However, all too soon, Y/N felt the nausea fill her mouth with saliva and she needed to lie back, with Azriel hovering beside her. He cooed reassurance and encouragement, acting as if her feeble attempt at eating was something to be proud of. Y/N registered that her hair was being softly stroked, and through her dim and sleepy eyes, she saw Azriel gazing at her.

"Why? Why are you helping me?"

Azriel's hand stilled, before he rose and rounded the bed. Y/N felt the bed shift as he sat beside her, once more above the covers, and felt her hand be clasped again. Y/N wasn't sure why her heart was so happy by that action.

"My Court wanted to help. We have members of our court, of our family, who have been Made in the Cauldron, like you have. But also... there are aspects of being a fae that you do not know yet. Things that are difficult to explain. I will explain them to you - I will never lie to you. But right now, you must focus on healing. Just know that there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I am yours to command."

As Y/N slipped into a quiet doze, she wasn't sure why, but she completely believed Azriel. And she wasn't if her mind was playing tricks on her, but she thought she heard him sigh with relief, as if Azriel has heard that final thought in Y/N's mind.

Chapter Text

Y/N was discovering that, despite how she wanted to, it was extremely hard to make herself feel completely safe. Or, by that logic, completely unsafe. It took 30 minutes of tossing and turning in the bed for her to come to that horrible conclusion.

Any time that she closed her eyes, bad thoughts and images would invade her mind. She'd doze, but couldn't fully go to sleep. When she opened her eyes, she was so tired that she wanted to immediately close them again, but she was obviously so safe. She could see the room. She could hear the bird song. Out the window, sky for miles. If she felt brave enough, or loopy enough from being so tired, Y/N could gaze at Azriel, who sat unnaturally still, staring at her. Smiling softly. His shadows swirling from shoulder to shoulder, like a cats tail.

That made her feel very safe.

"Would you like me to give you some space?" Azriel asked, uncertainty barely audible in his voice.

"What? No, please-" Y/N made a movement to grasp for Azriel, who felt like her anchor. As beautiful this room was, she knew that the spiralling in her mind was only quietened by his presence.

"You haven't been able to sleep. I was worried that me being here was causing you distress. I can sit by my desk..." Azriel gestured at the other side of the room.

Y/N felt the panic begin to rise. Of course he was getting sick of her. This beautiful man had been so caring and accommodating, and he almost certainly had work to be doing. Yet the idea of him leaving , even just being across the room, was more than her heart could bear. More than her nervous system could handle.

In her time as a fae, everyone she had come into contact with had harmed her. Y/N had been entirely alone and fearful, only knowing shame and pain. Azriel was her lifeline, her rescuer, and something deep in her bones was screaming for him. And whilst she wanted nothing more than to explain this profound feeling in the hopes that Azriel could, once more, help her understand, the shame and fear had been dug deep into Y/N's soul.

So whilst the internal storm raged in her mind, Y/N's body instead started to hyperventilate once more, gasping for breath as she tried to speak.

"Ple-please, I'm sorry-"

"Y/N, I'm here. I apologise, I never meant to do you any harm." Azriel's face crumpled in distress, almost as if he was frustrated with himself. He scoped Y/N into his arms, dragging the sheets with her as he pulled her into his lap. With gentle movements, he began to rock her back and forth, as if she was a crying child.

"I promised that I would not leave you, and I won't. I will stay where you want me to be, you have my word. And if it is here holding you, then my heart is all the happier for it." Azriel spoke with his mouth against her scalp, buried in her hair. Y/N felt cocooned in his embrace, and when her eyes closed, the thoughts and images and memories weren't waiting in the darkness.

"Wh- when I close my eyes... before... I wasn't here. I was there. I don't want to be there." Y/N's voice cracked in her final sentence. Azriel pulled her tightly towards his chest.

-----------------------

Azriel was out of his depth. By leagues. When he had been imprisoned as a child, the time spent with his mother grounded him, gave him something to focus on. Y/N hasn't had that. Azriel knew what it was like to close your eyes and be back in a prison.

"What helps? Does me holding you? My voice?" he asked, desperately seeking some magic answer.

"Let it be me. Let it be something that I can do. Let me save her, here. Let it be me that she needs." Azriel knew that that thought was selfish, and by the Mother he should be punished. But in this moment, Azriel wanted to be the one to save her. To show his mate that he could help. That he was worthy of her. That she needed him.

So that she would stay.

"It helps." A quiet voice, small in every way, interrupted Azriel's descent into self-loathing. He gently turned Y/N towards him, and brushed her hair from her face. She refused to look into his eyes, but instead focused on the collar of his shirt. His tattoos poked out from beneath the clothing, and Y/N was studying them as best as her tired eyes could manage. Her eyes flittered to his shadows when they danced along his collar bone, as if they were investigating her. Azriel couldn't help but be taken back by how beautiful she was as she looked at his shadows with curiosity, and how breathtakingly adorable Y/N was when shy. Her flustered gaze went back to her hands.

"I kept opening my eyes to remind myself that I was here. You... holding me... and sp-speaking to me, it helps. I'm sorry, you must be exhausted and have other things to be do-"

Azriel's deep chuckle interrupts Y/N, paired with him shaking his head lightly. Settling back in the bed, Azriel leaned against the headboard, laying Y/N so that she lay beside him with her head on his chest. With one arm wrapped tightly around her body, he grabbed a book that had suddenly appeared on his beside. Taking a glance at the title, he saw that the House had selected a history of Velaris. Whilst this book appeared to be aimed for children, Azriel knew that its contents would be suitable as a distraction for Y/N. Without bothering to debate any further, Azriel began to read to Y/N. Almost immediately, her body un-tensed from her panic, and Azriel's heart swelled as her eyes drifted close. Azriel wasn't sure when Y/N finally fell asleep, but almost an hour later, a light knock at the door signalled that Madja had arrived to see to that the most feared person in all of the Night Court, the Torturer, Shadowsinger, and Spymaster, was in the middle of reading a children's history book in bed with a dozing female snuggled into his neck. His shadows lay across the pair like kittens on a warm fire heath.

Madja had thought that Rhysand had been besotted by Feyre - but this Illyrian lovesick bat was far worse than even him.

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Madja gently reintroduced herself, only too aware of how Y/N pressed herself closer to Azriel's side. She had awoken when the door closed, waking up with a start and immediately trying to get her bearings. It was only when Azriel cooed some reassuring words did Y/N settle. Once she gave Madja a soft smile, Madja asked Azriel to carry her to the washroom, where the females would have enough privacy to examine the injuries. Seeing Azriel's wings twitch in agitation, Madja specified that Azriel would be right outside, and could perhaps use this time to update Rhysand, who was very eager to hear more about the newest Night Court member. That made Azriel perk up. It would be good to speak with Rhysand, and to go over exactly what would happen with his mate.

Azriel gently carried Y/N to the washroom, settling her in a chair beside the bathtub. As she whispered a thank you, Azriel stroked a few strands of her hair from her face.

"If you need me, just say "Azriel, come" and I'll be here."

Y/N frowned slightly.

"That sounds sort of rude. And besides, your hearing can't be that good."

Azriel gave out another low chuckle. Madja visibly bit her lip to stop her from making a sound in surprise.

"It's not rude if I am actively asking you to say it, but you could specify "Azriel, come, I need you" if that makes you feel better. And my hearing is very good, thank you. I will leave some of my shadows here with you, if you would like. I think they like you more than me, anyway." In that moment, three shadows swirled around Y/N's ankles like excited puppies, making her smile fondly.

Azriel's heart soared at the sight, emboldening him to lay a quick kiss on her hairline as he rose. Y/N stared after him as he left the room, walking to where Rhysand and Cassian waited in the corridor.

Chapter Text

Cassian's shit-eating grin was almost as concerning as Rhysand's kindly smile, but Azriel was not keen on being away from Y/N for any longer than was completely necessary.

"Well, I, for one, am bloody glad that you have officially got a mate. Congratulations, brother!" Cassian clapped Azriel roughly on the back, making him flash the smallest smile at the word. Mate.

"Yes, we both are glad. Madja and Feyre have caught us up with the situation - she has eaten and rested, yes?" Rhysand kept a healthy distance, silently pulling Cassian back. Azriel could see his brother's eyes taking in his appearance - sleep deprived and tense. Azriel blocked the doorway to his room with his wings, and Rhysand was surprised to see that it looked bright in the Shadowsinger's room. Territoriality was normal for Illyrians who had just found their mates, and Rhysand knew better than most that while Azriel has always come across as calm and collected, his desperate desire for a mate would make him especially protective over Y/N. Especially given the conditions that she was found.

Rhysand firmly pulled Cassian back from peaking through the door.

Azriel's wings tensed. His shadows - the ones that remained with him still - swarmed around his head, whispering in his ear. They let him know that, at this moment, Y/N was being checked by Madja. That she had flinched when her neck was touched. That she told Madja that her favourite thing that she'd eaten from the House was the sweet porridge.

Y/N had whispered to the shadows a soft "Hi there" when they swirled near her knees.

These facts calmed him, and Azriel refocused.

"Y/N is resting, but I want her to stay here - with me." Azriel's eyes rose to meet his brothers' and he spoke with quiet conviction, "Until she is better, I am sorry, but I can't leave her side. I can contact my spies from here, and can meet with you, but Y/N is my priority."

Rhysand could hear the pain that tinged Azriel's voice. The sight of the fae female in the dungeon was harrowing for all the members of the Inner Circle, but to have it be their mate...

"Of course. Take whatever time that you both need. Please let her know that she is officially a part of the Night Court, and once she's better we'll find a job that she could do. My only request is that you be... careful... with how you tell her that you're her mate. And don't rush into it - we don't want to overwhelm Y/N."

Cassian looked sheepishly between the two males. "I know that I am probably the least qualified person to weigh in, but do try and pick the correct time to explain to her that she's your mate. And maybe what a mate is... Don't do it in the middle of an argument. You actually want Y/N to want to be your mate."

The brothers shared a small moment of humour at Cassian's expense. However, Azriel became lost in thought in the next moment.

This could be a cruel joke of fate. His mate, having been through so much, might not want him. Might never want him. After being hurt and mistreated, how could Y/N ever look upon a male whose very job is to lie and trick and torture? Azriel gazed down at his scarred hands, where the flesh was puckered and disfigured. A physical manifestation of how damaged he was. How he would taint everything that he touched. How could he ever think that he was worthy of touching another? Being loved by another?

Y/N would be disgusted.

"Whatever you're thinking, Azriel, you need to stop."

Azriel's eyes shot up from where they were staring at his hands, the metaphorical blood staining them red.

"Y/N is your mate. Even the Cauldron has made it as clear as possible. I mean, she can literally carry an Illyrian baby. That is about as black and white as it gets." Cassian smiled at Azriel, hoping that at least some of what he was saying was getting through to his stubborn, self-loathing brother.

"I just... I can't lose her. I just found her. Y/N needs to stay. I need to make her feel safe."

"And you will. If there is anything that we can do, let us know."

At that, Cassian moved forward to embrace Azriel, when suddenly Azriel felt a flood of fury. Another male was coming close to his mate. His mate.

Rhysand grabbed Cassian's large shoulder, and hefted the male back a few feet. However, Azriel was already breathing deeply, fighting the immense urge to rip into the other males.

"Okay, I can see that you are a little worked up. We're leaving now, aren't we Cassian? We can tease Azriel when he has had more than three hours of sleep and hasn't just found his injured mate."

It was at that moment when Azriel heard from a shadow that Y/N was calling for him, and the Illyrian rushed away in a flurry of darkness. He had crossed the room by the time that the door slammed shut, and stood in the doorway of the washroom.

"Y/N?"

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Madja was doing everything in her power to make Y/N feel more comfortable as she redressed the wounds. However, Y/N was struggling with the entire situation. Azriel's shadows helped to calm her a bit, but the rising anxiety closed her throat. Y/N couldn't feel safe - not without the male that she was strangely drawn to watching over her.

This made no sense to Y/N. She should be terrified of the male, rescuer or not. However, she felt an intense pull towards Azriel. One that she couldn't explain.

He had also said things that had confused her further.

"I am not going to hurt you. I swear. I promise you, no one is going to hurt you again."

"You are not foul - not in any way, Y/N. Please do not apologise, if anyone should, let it be me. I should have come a long time ago."

"I am not leaving you, Y/N. I won't let you go. I have waited 500 years to hold you close, and now that I have you, you will never be without me again."

"I know, this is terrible, but you are being so brave. My sweet flower, it is okay. You are safe. We aren't going to hurt you. This will heal you. It'll be over soon. I am so sorry, my darling. You are safe, Y/N. I'm here, I promise I am not going anywhere. You are here, in Velaris. It's okay, keep breathing. Breath, my sweet little darling."

"I promised that I would not leave you, and I won't. I will stay where you want me to be, you have my word. And if it is here holding you, then my heart is all the happier for it."

Azriel had called her darling, sweetheart. He had spoken to her with such fierce affection that Y/N could barely comprehend it. Her mind was clearly than it had been since she had been rescued from the dungeon, and a particular thought was swirling around like one of Azriel's shadows.

"But also... there are aspects of being a fae that you do not know yet. Things that are difficult to explain. I will explain them to you - I will never lie to you. But right now, you must focus on healing. Just know that there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I am yours to command."

What fae things were this? Perhaps saving someone's life was viewed as very important in fae culture? Perhaps Y/N was indentured to Azriel, like a servant? But how would that explain his kind words and actions?

As Madja tied the end of the last bandage taut, Y/N tried to speak her mind.

"Why is... why is Azriel so kind to me? He's called me ... affectionate names, and has shown me such care. I don't deserve it."

Madja halted her work to stare at Y/N in the eyes, reminiscent of a teacher scolding a pupil. Madja knew that she needed to nip this in the bud, and wouldn't have Y/N viewing herself as anything other than worthy.

Between the Shadowsinger and this new fae, they really had their work cut out convincing them that they were worth saving.

"Now, listen to me. Azriel is over 500 years old. If he has decided to help you, then he has deemed you worthy of his time and effort. Which, frankly, he should do. You are worthy, Y/N. You are worthy of being cared for and shown affection and lov- well." Madja seemed to catch herself for a moment, before continuing.

"I know that you won't feel this way yet, because you have been through something awful, and made to feel like you are unworthy and beyond help. But you aren't. Please, let us help you. Azriel is trying his best, and I know for a fact that he will continue to do so."

Y/N looked up at the gentle fae, whose kind face looked so earnest, and wished upon every star in the sky that she could believe her.

But the doubt was too strong, and Y/N's mind showed her every terrible thing that had happened to her. Everything that had marred her, made her ruined. Perhaps Azriel hasn't noticed yet.

If he left her, she didn't know what she was going to do.

"But why would he try so hard? He's going to realise that I'm not worth the effort... Or I'm going to get hurt again."

It didn't make sense for someone to throw all caution to the wind and help with reckless care. Tears began to well in Y/N's eyes. The idea of Azriel going away... leaving her.

"You're all going to realise that. Azriel is going to realise. I don't know why, but it hurts so much to think about that. I don't- I don't understand this. Why do I feel like I need him? It hurts."

Y/N was fully crying at this point, and Madja knew that it was only a matter of time before-

"Y/N?"

A battle-focused Azriel was gripping the doorframe with a fierceness that made Madja glad that she was done with her work.

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Azriel couldn't focus on anything other than Y/N and her crying face. She looked so lost in that moment. He reached out for her, before remembering that she might not appreciate being grabbed, and instead feel to his knees in front of her.

"Y/N, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

Before Madja or Y/N could answer, his shadows came and whispered what his mate had said moments before.

Azriel's face became hardened.

Y/N visibly recoiled at the change in expression, shrinking in on herself. Azriel's face looked thunderous, and she was terrified.

"Come with me." Without saying anything further, Azriel picked up Y/N with ease and carried her through to the bed.

Madja, watching with hesitance, was both eager to leave the room but also concerned about leaving Y/N alone in this state. She knew that Azriel would never hurt her, but she was concerned that he might be a bit oblivious to his effect in the poor female.

"Y/N" Azriel help her chin and brought her face to look at his own, staring up at him through tear-framed lashes. "This is important. I need you to know that I won't hurt you. That I won't leave you. I can't explain everything right now, so this is the best that I can do. What do you know about bargains in the fae world?"

At this, Madja inhaled sharply and took her leave. The thought that Rhysand would know about this shortly crossed Azriel's mind, but he had more pressing matters.

"We were told that... fae tricked humans and each other into bargains." Y/N sniffed out.

"This isn't a trick, Y/N. We'll be bound together. We won't be able to break these promises, not for anything. And I... I promise to do whatever you say. That will be my end of the bargin. If you tell me to stay, I'll stay. If you tell me to tell you the truth, you'll have it. If you want me to-" Azriel swallowed, his hardened face cracking for a moment. "If you want me to go and leave you alone, I will. I swear. This would give you complete control. You'll be able to decide. You can trust me then."

Azriel said the final sentence quietly, desperation tingeing his tone.

"That doesn't seem fair for you. I don't want to force you to do anything."

"We can make it that you have say something specific, like that you "command" me. Whatever you like. Just... consider it?"

Azriel's face had completely softened. He had sunk on the bed next to Y/N, and looked wholly vulnerable. His dark locks fell into his face, his hazel eyes burning with emotion.

"And if I agree, what would my end of the bargin be? What could I give?"

"Anything. You could give me anything. I will accept anything: a smile, a lesson about your favourite book, a promise that we'll have dinner by the river one night. Anything!" Azriel's desperation was clawing it's way out of his throat. Fear of losing his mate was consuming him.

This was a desperate, reckless thing. And yet, Azriel felt like a desperate wreck, so it fit.

"Okay." Y/N said softly. Her hands reached nervously for Azriel's, wanting to give comfort to the winged male. He looked so dejected, she couldn't find it in her heart to argue. If Azriel was so desperately trying to get her to trust him, then she owed her rescuer at least trying the same.

"Okay?" Gasped Azriel, eyes wide as he stared at Y/N in disbelief and raw hope.

"Okay. The bargin will be that only when I say "Azriel, I command you" will you do as I say, otherwise, you have your own freewill. In return, I promise to... what would you like? It feels wrong for me to pick." Y/N looked awkwardly down at their clasped hands.

Y/N had never noticed the scarring on Azriel's hands before. They looked like they had once been burnt severely, and countless scars criss-crossed them. Y/N absentmindedly began to run her thumbs across the skin, quietly willing for any lingering pain to be soothed.

This decided matters for Azriel, who stared at the display of affection with quiet disbelief.

"Once a week, let me take you somewhere. I want to show you Velaris, and Prythian."

This suggestion shocked Y/N, yet Azriel's eager face and sure tone meant that she found it difficult to imagine that he was just being polite. Perhaps he truly wanted her company.

"I agree. However, if there ever comes a time when the bargin is no longer needed, we both just need to agree and shake on it." Y/N wanted to give him at least one way out of the deal. It felt too good to be true.

"Agreed." Azriel's hands moved to clasp Y/N's, and in that moment, black swirling tattoos graced the collarbones of Azriel. They appeared to resemble thorny branches, strong against his golden skin.

Y/N leaned forward slightly to examine them further, and Azriel, finally looking somewhat relieved, broke a gentle smile across his lips.

"You have some too, now."

Azriel's concern with holding Y/N was obviously momentarily forgotten, and he carried her to the mirror in the corner of the room - something that Y/N has been avoiding for a while.

Looking at her reflection, Y/N focused not on the bruises or scars or general "unwell" palour of her skin, but instead two matching collarbone tattoos, similar to Azriels. Delicate flowers line her branches while thorns line his, but they nethertheless were obviously a pair.

Y/N missed the look of pure, unadulterated love in Azriel's eyes as he stared down at her. His mate was at least somewhat bonded to him. And perhaps now, she can learn to trust him.

Perhaps Azriel could prove himself.