Work Text:
It was the kind of heat that made even the sun’s children wilt. The Apollo cabin—usually the brightest, most cheerful place at Camp Half-Blood—had been reduced to a collective puddle of demigod misery. Every window was thrown open, every fan was on, and still, the air inside felt like it had been ladled straight from the Underworld’s sauna.
Kayla Knowles sprawled on her bunk, arms flung wide. “I swear, if I have to eat one more popsicle, I’m going to turn into a human freezer burn.”
Austin Lake, saxophone abandoned in the corner, had propped his feet on the nearest trunk and was fanning himself with a Camp Half-Blood t-shirt. “This is ridiculous. We’re children of the sun. Shouldn’t we be immune to this?”
“I think we’re supposed to be immune to sunburn, not heatstroke,” Will Solace muttered. He was sitting cross-legged on his bunk, cheeks flushed, golden hair plastered to his forehead. He was fanning himself with a paperback book, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.
The siblings, united in their suffering, began to theorize.
“Maybe there’s a monster out there controlling the weather,” Kayla suggested.
“Or maybe dad is having a temper tantrum,” said Austin.
“Or maybe Apollo’s just showing off again,” muttered another sibling from the floor.
Will didn’t contribute. He was too busy trying to catch a breeze with his book.
Austin, ever the observant one, squinted at Will. “Dude, what are you fanning yourself with?”
Will froze. “Nothing. Just a book.”
Kayla craned her neck. “Wait… Is that—” Her eyes widened. “Will, are you fanning yourself with Fifty Shades of Grey?”
A beat of silence. Then the entire cabin erupted.
“Will!”
“Dude, seriously?”
"Is that even allowed at camp?”
Will’s ears turned red. “It’s not mine! I found it in the library. I mean, the lost and found. I mean—” He clamped his mouth shut, mortified.
Before the interrogation could continue, the air shimmered. A blinding golden light filled the cabin, and with a sound like a thousand harps all hitting a sour note at once, Apollo himself appeared in the center of the room.
He was, to put it mildly, a mess.
His golden hair was tousled, toga wrinkled, face streaked with tears. He was wailing—actual, honest-to-gods wailing—into a silk handkerchief.
“My heart!” he sobbed. “My beautiful, radiant heart! Shattered again, like a disco ball at a particularly wild party! Oh, cruel fate!”
The Apollo kids exchanged glances. This was… not entirely new.
Kayla whispered, “He must’ve gotten dumped again.”
Austin nodded sagely. “That explains the heatwave. Whenever Dad’s heartbroken, the sun gets cranky.”
Apollo, seemingly oblivious to the muttering, threw himself onto Will’s bunk, narrowly missing Will’s foot. “Why, oh why, must love be so fleeting? Why must the sun set on every romance I have?”
Will, still clutching his book, tried to scoot away, but Apollo’s gaze finally landed on the offending paperback.
Apollo’s tears stopped mid-sob. He squinted at the cover, then at Will. “Is that… Fifty Shades of Grey?”
Will’s face went from sunburned to volcanic. “It’s not what it looks like—”
Apollo plucked the book from Will’s hands, flipping through it with a raised eyebrow. “You know, Will, I pride myself on being the god of poetry and music, but this—” he tapped the cover “—is neither poetic nor musical.”
Austin snorted. “Told you it was his.”
Will stammered, “I just— It was in the lost and found! I didn’t read it! I swear!”
Apollo, ever the drama king, gasped. “Will Solace, my own son, reading this… this mortal smut? I expected better taste from you!”
Will lunged for the book, but Apollo held it aloft, flipping through the pages. He paused, frowning. “Are these pages… sticky?”
The entire cabin went silent.
Kayla’s jaw dropped. Austin choked on a laugh. Someone in the back whispered, “Oh my gods.”
Will was now the color of a ripe tomato. “Give it back! That’s— That’s private!”
Apollo, ever the showman, cleared his throat and began to read aloud. “‘His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…’” He made a face. “What is this writing?”
Will, mortified beyond belief, made a desperate grab for the book. “Dad! Please! That’s not— I didn’t— It’s not what you think!”
Apollo arched a golden eyebrow, smirking just a little. “Oh, I think it’s exactly what I think. Honestly, Will, if you wanted to explore your… ahem, mortal curiosities, there are far better works of literature. I could recommend some Sappho, or perhaps Ovid—”
Will snatched the book back, clutching it to his chest. “Can we not do this right now?”
The rest of the cabin erupted into laughter, the oppressive heat momentarily forgotten.
Apollo, still sniffling but now distracted from his heartbreak, ruffled Will’s hair. “Don’t worry, my boy. We’ve all been there. Well, not with this particular book, but… you know what I mean.”
Will groaned, burying his face in his pillow. Kayla patted his back, trying—and failing—to hide her grin.
Austin grinned. “Hey, at least we solved the heatwave mystery. Next time, Dad, try not to get dumped during a New York summer, yeah?”
Apollo sighed dramatically, but there was a spark of amusement in his eyes. “I’ll do my best, children. But the heart wants what it wants.”
As Apollo vanished in another burst of golden light, the cabin fell into a fit of giggles, the heat just a little more bearable now that they had a new story to tell.
And Will? He made a mental note to hide his books a little better next time.
Will Solace had survived monsters, curses, and the horrors of Apollo’s poetry readings. But nothing—nothing—could have prepared him for a week of relentless teasing from his siblings.
Every time he walked into the Apollo cabin, someone would call out, “Hey, Will, got any good book recommendations?” or, “Careful, don’t let Will near the library’s romance section!” Even Kayla, who was usually his partner in sanity, had taken to humming sultry elevator music whenever he walked by.
Austin, of course, was the worst. He’d started leaving suggestive bookmarks in Will’s medical textbooks (“Just in case you want to spice up your reading, bro!”), and someone had taped a printout of the Fifty Shades cover to Will’s bunk.
Will tried to laugh it off, but after the third day, he was ready to melt into the floor. By the end of the week, he was desperate.
Will’s only hope was Nico di Angelo—his boyfriend, the only person at camp who could actually scare his siblings into silence. But that meant explaining why he needed Nico’s help.
Will found Nico sitting under the shade of a tree near the lake, reading a battered copy of Dracula and looking like he belonged in a painting called “Gothic Brooding, Summer Edition.”
Will cleared his throat. “Hey, um, Nico?”
Nico looked up, dark eyes softening. “Hey, sunshine. You look… frazzled.”
Will sat down beside him, fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. “I need a favor. Kind of a big one.”
Nico’s lips quirked. “Does it involve medical emergencies or monsters?”
Will groaned. “Worse. Sibling emergencies.”
Nico closed his book, giving Will his full attention. “What did they do this time?”
Will hesitated, cheeks burning. “They… they won’t stop teasing me. And I can’t get them to stop. You’re the only one they’re actually afraid of.”
Nico grinned, a little too delighted. “I can be scary. But what are they teasing you about?”
Will squirmed. “It’s… It’s stupid. I just… I got caught with a book, okay?”
Nico raised an eyebrow. “What kind of book?”
Will mumbled, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Nico blinked, then burst out laughing. “Wait, seriously? You? Mr. Sunshine, reading… that?”
Will buried his face in his hands. “I wasn’t reading it! I was just using it to fan myself, and then Apollo showed up, and—” He let out a strangled groan. “Now everyone thinks I’m some kind of… I don’t even know.”
Nico nudged him, voice low and teasing. “So, should I be worried? Are you planning on tying me up or something?”
Will’s head shot up, eyes wide. “Nico!”
Nico smirked, leaning in closer. “Relax, Will. I’m just teasing. But, for the record, if you wanted to try something new… you could’ve just asked.”
Will’s jaw dropped. “You’re impossible.”
Nico grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “You love it.”
Will huffed, but couldn’t help smiling. “Can you please make them stop? I’m dying here.”
Nico patted his knee. “I’ll take care of it. But you owe me. And next time, maybe pick a less… infamous book for your secret reading.”
Will groaned again, but the mortification felt a little lighter with Nico beside him.
True to his word, Nico had a quiet word with the Apollo cabin that night. No one knew what he said, but the teasing stopped immediately. Will suspected it had something to do with Nico’s uncanny ability to make the shadows seem just a little bit darker when he was annoyed.