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"Mmh, that suit...I might not be a bride but I'm gonna fuck a groom tonight", Issa says upon seeing her beautiful - and very hot - boyfriend. That suit sure does wonders for his whole body. She can’t wait for when it’s just the two of them. "Wait, wait, wait, you have to sit next to your literal spouse!"
Billie and Samir nod enthusiastically as Paul Baker gets up. Giggling, she pulls her feet up for him to shuffle through. She's giddy with it, the joy of having her boyfriend, one of her best friends, still here with her and very much not in Canada. And of course, did it steal some of her thunder that Anton ended up getting married to Paul Baker instead of her? Yes. But she thinks this time that was okay, especially since it was, admittedly, her choice not to get married to him.
She still doesn't know why it had only dawned on her standing outside of that door but very suddenly and very clearly, she had known she couldn't marry Paul Baker. She loves him, of course. But they're still so young and none of them have their shit together. They're all living in Samir’s parents house, for God's sake. You can't get married when you have four roommates and don’t even pay rent. And marriage is a construct, yes, but it suddenly felt very real when she was supposed to get married to her literal boyfriend. It had been different with Zack-Carlos because that was just for fun. But she loves Paul Baker. That’s why she couldn’t marry him.
So now, on the couch, happy, excited, surrounded by all her best friends, she can't imagine it any other way. This is perfect.
As Paul Baker sits down next to Anton, he says: "Thank you for marrying me.” There seems to be a weird tension between the two of them but who can blame them. They just got married.
"Of course. It was nothing. It's marriage."
"It is something", Paul Baker replies.
Issa gets it.
Paul Baker laughs and Issa wants to kiss that laugh right off his face. Suddenly she's struck with a realization: "Wait, you guys never had your kiss!"
In the mess that was the wedding, they didn't have time for anything except saying "I do" anymore, so they had to leave the kiss out - much to Issa's disappointment. They should've been able to fully commit to the bit. Issa's always been a sucker for committing to the bit.
Bille seems to agree. "Oh my God! You have to!"
Paul Baker and Anton both shake their heads. "No guys", Paul Baker says, which feels a little weird to Issa because really, it's just a kiss for fun, to laugh about later. When has either of them had a problem with that?
"Come on guys, kiss, kiss kiss", Bille starts chanting.
Anton waves his arms, saying: "No no no, we don't have to do that."
"We don't have to", Paul Baker also says but there's a smile on his face and Issa already knows he's going to agree. She knows her boyfriend, after all.
So she also starts chanting and see, Paul Baker agrees. And then only gives Anton a quick peck on the lips? That doesn't count. That’s not fully committing to the bit. Why don’t they just kiss?
"Bigger than that", she says. There’s a weird feeling brewing inside her at the hesitancy of both Paul Baker and Anton but she tries her best to ignore it. It’s probably just because she wants this to be over with so she can go up to her room with Paul Baker.
"You're not gonna get cooties. Kiss", Samir says.
"Fine. Okay." Paul Baker sets his plate down and Issa is starting to get a little impatient, if she’s being honest.
"Kiss! For real!" She says as Paul Baker leans in - finally - and keeps chanting with the others as Anton and Paul Baker now kiss for real. It’s funny at first, it’s exactly what she wanted.
But then. The kiss should be over. They've kissed for real, they've done it. The bit is over, they've fully committed. Issa is satisfied and it should be over now. Why are they still kissing? It’s suddenly a little painful to keep watching them. It feels like they’re in a fully different world, completely unaware of Billie, Samir and Issa having gone quiet around them.
It doesn't mean anything though, Issa thinks to herself. It doesn't. Sometimes you kiss someone as a bit and then you keep kissing. Especially if you just got married. It's no big deal. It isn't. They're all going to have a big laugh about this as soon as the kiss is over.
If it’s ever over.
But then Paul Baker brings his hand up to cup Anton's cheek. Issa knows this move intimately from the many, many times Paul Baker has kissed her in the same exact way, cupping her cheek before deepening the kiss, before climbing up on her lap. But it's fine. It's totally fine.
Paul Baker finally, finally seems to notice what he's doing too. When he breaks the kiss, no one is laughing.
Why isn’t anyone laughing?
It couldn't have meant something. Paul Baker is her boyfriend and she loves him and he kissed her best friend as a bit and it didn't mean anything. It didn't.
The look on Paul Baker's face says something different.
It meant something.
"Uh-huh", Issa says slowly. Okay then.
"Kiss, Kiss", Anton says weakly. "We kissed. We...We just kissed." But not even Anton can loosen up the obvious tension in the room. The tension of everyone knowing what just happened.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
So that's what that weird feeling was.
Now Issa’s wondering, has Paul Baker been weird since they got home or did it just start with the kiss? Did he want that kiss? Was he secretly hoping for it? Was he standing at that altar, having to pick one of them, and chose Anton because he wanted to marry Anton? At what point did Paul Baker realize that it did mean something for him to marry Anton? Was that what he meant earlier when he said the marriage meant something? Issa thought they were thinking the same thing, in sync, boyfriend and girlfriend. But what if Paul Baker had already stopped being fully in it then?
"Should we watch a movie?", someone says. Probably Samir but she's too stuck to check. To see anything really, except that kiss replaying and replaying in her mind. She can't move. Paul Baker kissed Anton and it meant something.
And fuck. She made them kiss. She did this. It’s all on her, isn't it? Or would it have happened otherwise too? Would Paul Baker have snuck his way into Anton's room in the middle of the night, when he couldn't fall asleep?
Paul Baker and Anton say something agreeing with Samir and get up quickly. Issa can’t stop looking at them. They shuffle back in front of the couch, a dark mirror of five minutes ago when everything was perfect.
As she looks at them, sitting awkwardly in front of the couch, not looking at each other and not looking at her, she asks herself: What's next? What does she do now?
"Okay, someone throw out a movie", Samir says.
Somehow, Issa is pulled out of her trance. She knows what she has to do now. She has to be a good friend and girlfriend and she'll pretend she's fine with it. She’s mature and an adult, she can do this. She'll act like everything is totally fine and like she hasn't been kicked out of her own relationship and like this doesn't make her feel the very same way she felt that day at the hospital.
She’ll make sure everything will be okay. She can’t make this weird.
"Oh. Um." Think of a movie. Quickly.
The light goes out.
Of course.