Chapter Text
Caleb Smoke parked his car outside the quiet house he'd bought unseen online, the damp air of Forks immediately wrapping him in a chill that mirrored his hallowed chest. He pressed a hand there, where the ache was deepest, knowing no healing power he possessed could mend this wound. The town was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance to leave ghosts behind, yet as he stared at the unfamiliar door, Kevin's laughter echoed faintly in his mind—his smile haunting Caleb more painfully now than ever. Four months hadn’t dulled the pain of finding the door splintered, Kevin’s lifeless body sprawled across their apartment floor. It was meant as a warning, a cruel reminder that Caleb’s double life had consequences.
His fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Breathe. He forced himself to exhale slowly, eyes squeezed shut against the surge of memories. He wasn't ready to let go—not yet—but he had to at least pretend. One step at a time.
Looking into the rearview mirror tired green eyes stare back, dark bags under them seeming to make the color become more vibrant. When was the last time he slept a full night's sleep? Wincing Caleb closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as the sharp pains in his heart stirred violently at the reminder that he hadn't slept fully since Kevin died. He hadn't slept alone for three years basically. If Caleb wasn't sleeping at Kevins, Kevin was over at his, sleeping in his bed while Caleb slept soundly in his arms.
The grip on the steering wheel tightened, a soft groaning sound made Caleb quickly lessen his grip not wanting to damage his new car already.
“Fuck this” he said before throwing the car in reverse and heading into the town, he couldn't go into that house yet knowing that it will be completely empty of life, no laughter, no annoyed sighs that would make Caleb grin embarrassingly. No, all that was waiting for Caleb in that house was some furniture and pictures of a life that was destroyed when Caleb's night life had caught up with him and taught him a very real lesson.
‘They can always take something’
Driving through the darkening streets Caleb took a stalk of the small town's life atmosphere. It was quiet, peaceful even. Nothing like the very loud and constantly busy city Caleb had come from. He supposed that was for the best though, he came to try and heal this aching and bleeding hole in his chest. He supposed he couldn't really do that in a city that never slept.
As he drove he spotted small shopping centers that held stores Caleb recognized, while many of the shops that he passed seemed to be smaller little mom and pop shops, not linked to big time corporations that littered the city. He made a mental note to look at some of these stores, maybe he could find Kevin something wolf related.
His chest throbbed as his thoughts caught up with him, the familiar build up in his eyes and sting of emotions that ran rampant through his body daily made him suck in a sharp breath.
“God damn it” he said as tears fell down his cheeks, a common sight over the last four months. This always happens. Caleb would find his mind wandering, then as he had always done his thoughts would drift to how he could do something for Kevin to make his day. Buy him flowers, a video game he had been excited about, or even bring home dinner so they both could have a relaxing night of not worrying about cooking and doing the dishes. Then he'd remember with crushing clarity that his Kevin was gone and the hole in his chest tore open just a little bigger.
A small grocery store caught Caleb's eye as he tried to get himself under control. He pulled into the parking lot, shutting off the engine, he leaned his head against the wheel and tried to make the tears disappear. He took a few deep shaky breaths before sitting upright and clearing his throat trying to get himself more together. He looked at the store and sighed. He hadn't meant to stop at it, but he supposed it was a good thing he did. There was no food at his house, he hadn't gone shopping yet, guess now's better than never. Opening the car door he got out, closing the door behind him with a thud before clicking his keys, locking the car and making his way to the entrance. All the while he caught many people looking in his direction with raised eyebrows and quiet whispers.
Caleb frowned before looking down at himself. He was wearing a waist length leather coat over a simple black t shirt accompanied by black pants and shoes. He caught his reflection in the window of the store and checked quickly to make sure his short dirty blond hair wasn't sticking up anywhere but it looked fine to him. He shrugged and made his way inside, must be a small town thing he thought as he mindlessly wandered the aisles grabbing canned raviolis and such not feeling like cooking, hell he didn't feel like eating much these days but he knew Kevin would be pissed if he didn't take care of himself, so he'd do the best he could and right now that meant canned food that can be microwaved as meals.
Abruptly he slammed into what felt like a brick house. He backed up slightly stuttering out apologies to a chest? Caleb looked up as he backed up from the person to realize it was a teenage boy who was towering over Caleb, god he hated his short height!
Brown eyes met his which suddenly widened in shock as he kept staring at Caleb.
“Sorry about that, I was lost in my own head…..you ok?” Caleb asked as he stared at the guy. He was tall, like over six feet, his sleeveless shirt revealing long but muscled arms and rather big hands.
‘Guy must be a carpenter or something sheesh’ Caleb thought as he looked at the guy once more in the eyes to see brown eyes blinking at him. Another guy walked closer looking similar to the brown eyed space case, he was also massive, what the fuck? What do they feed dude’s in this town? The friend touched the guy's arm which made the guy jolt before looking at his friend. Brown eyes found him again making Caleb raise a brow.
“You uh….ok there dude? Should I run? I feel like I should run. Just saying.” The friend snorted, making Caleb’s lips twitch slightly. Brown eyes blinked more before suddenly turning around and walking away from Caleb. Now it was Caleb's turn to blink.
“Uh…ok, bye then” Caleb muttered. The friend looked at Caleb once more before running after his friend, his face twisted in what Caleb guessed was shock and confusion. Which baffled Caleb, maybe he was wrong, he wasn't the greatest at reading emotions.
Quickly wrapping up his shopping and keeping a look out for the brown eyed guy and his friend Caleb had made it back to his car. Starting it back up he pulled out of the parking lot about ready to head home when a sign caught his eye.
‘La push beach this way’
Caleb frowned before shrugging he wasn't in any rush to get into that empty house might as well take another detour. Clicking the turn signal Caleb pulled out and drove towards the direction. He got turned around a few times but finally made it to his destination. The beach was empty and the sign said no trespassing after nine pm. Caleb looked at his watch seeing it was eight fifty. He had ten minutes and he was going to use them to look over that cliff facing. Making his way over quickly he looked down at the splashing water crashing against the hillside over and over again making a form of music that rang clear through the night into Caleb's ears. His eyes looked down at the water, just staring as his mind raced. He walked to the edge of the hill until the tips of his sneakers were not touching the ground anymore. He heard the sound of gravel falling but he didnt care, he just kept staring at the water as it broke against the hill.
His mind flashed with memories of his and Kevin's life, the sounds slowly died down into nothing, the silence ringing in his ears as he let himself fall into these painful memories, knowing he would never make any new ones ever again.
When they had first met. They had bumped into each other in the hallway, causing all their books to fall. Caleb had quickly grabbed Kevin’s glasses so no one would step on them.
"You dropped these," he’d said, looking up into beautiful blue eyes that squinted at him. It was the cutest thing Caleb had ever seen.
The memory of their first kiss flashed through his mind. It had been so awkward—Kevin had poked Caleb in the eye with his glasses, somehow. They both reeled back, laughing, then leaned in again, resting their foreheads together before softly pressing their lips to each other.
Their first date had been cliché but perfect. A movie, followed by dinner at McDonald’s. They had laughed at how ridiculous they were, but none of it mattered because they were together.
The first time they’d said “I love you” was the day Kevin’s mom had died. Caleb had held him as he cried, offering what comfort he could. When the tears had slowed, Kevin had lifted his head, kissed Caleb softly, and whispered, “I love you.” Caleb had grinned like a fool, his own tears falling, though his was of joy. “I love you too, Kevin,” he’d whispered back.
The first time they’d made love had been awkward but perfect. They’d taken their time, exploring each other, savoring every moment.
Suddenly the world came back into focus a loud screaming cry ringing in his ears, it took Caleb a second to understand that it was him screaming, he had collapsed to his knees so very close to the edge of the hill, his eyes were blurry with the huge assault of tears that cascaded down his face. His chest heaved, he took a deep breath and screamed Kevin's name pouring out all the pain, the guilt, the grief. He had failed Kevin. He hadn’t kept him safe. Now he was alone, with a hole in his chest that felt like it would never heal. “I’m so sorry, my love,” Caleb whispered brokenly, his voice barely audible over the crashing wave.
Slowly Caleb picked himself up, the tense pull of his muscles telling him he had been in that position far longer than ten minutes. Glancing at his watch uncaringly he noticed it was nine thirty, he had been so lost in his memories that time had flown by without him knowing. He shook his head before heading back to his car, opening his car door and beginning the drive home, his body tired and drained, maybe he would finally get more than a few hours of sleep tonight. As his car slowly left the view of the beach, Caleb never noticed Three wolves hidden in the trees watching his whole breakdown,
One of them, a sandy brown wolf with a lithe build that differed from the bulkier wolves by his side, had tears falling from his eyes. He threw his head back and howled a mournful and pain-filled cry to the night, to honor his imprints pain, his sadness, his guilt, the sandy wolf howled all of it to the sky being joined by his two companions who witnessed the scene with sad eyes. Finally the howling stopped, soft brown eyes looked at the direction the car went and made a solemn promise.
‘I will take care of you, I promise.’ With that he turned around and bolted to the tree line heading deep into the forest, he had plans to make.
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Persistent light burned behind Caleb's eyelids. Groaning, he blinked up at the blaring sun greeting him. The tightening in his stomach made him wince, waking him up far more than the sun had. He hadn't eaten in maybe two days? God he was a mess, he couldn't even take care of himself properly anymore.
Throwing the covers off him Caleb dragged his feet along short soft carpet hairs that tickled his feet pleasantly as he made his way to the bathroom that could easily fit three people in it. The whole house was like that, way too much space for just him and his thoughts. The shower stall door opened with a bang and closed just as fiercely. Caleb let the warm water wash over him as he stared blankly at the floor. He had to get himself together, Kevin would be so disappointed in him. The thought brought a sting to his eyes that he quickly washed away with the spray of the shower head.
He didn't spend much time in the shower before leaving the bathroom, he grabbed some clothes that were simple. A dark blue shirt, black pants and black socks. Caleb walked down the stairs taking stock of how the walls lacked any identity, there was nothing personal in this house, except the few pictures of Kevin he allowed himself to keep out, the rest where safely stored in his trunk in his room, never too far but he already saw Kevin in every aspect of his life, every corner he turned he felt like he could catch the faintest glimpse of his lover. Wishful thinking.
The cabinet doors opened with more than adequate force as Caleb tried to drown out the dark and depressing thoughts looking for something for breakfast. Finding only canned food that he picked up yesterday he realized he had not actually got any breakfast items. Perfect. Groaning he shut the cabinet looking around only to wince more when his stomach squeezed harshly.
“Fuck! Okay! I get it! I'll go out somewhere, I could have sworn I saw a diner down the road, I'll get something there I guess” he told his angry stomach before rolling his eyes. “Great, I'm talking to myself…I'm still doing..stop talking you idiot!” Caleb grumbled as he snatched his keys and wallet from the table near the door that held his effect in a green glass candy dish. His eyes flashed to the standalone picture of Kevin sitting there, the snapshot was of Kevin hugging a person in a werewolf costume with a huge grin on his face.
Snapping his eyes forward, the door slammed shut as Caleb made his way quickly out of the house wiping away at his eyes as he went. The car peeled out of the driveway with a loud screech as Caleb floored it toward the diner he remembered seeing, his emotions like usual all over the place. He slowed down moderately once he got to the town though, not really wanting to deal with the police here, he had no interest in a ticket thank you.
Green eyes swiveled around the early morning quiet streets of the town, he spotted a few people making their way here and there but there was no real hustle yet. Not that there would be much hustle in this town anyway he supposed. Finally his eyes found his prize, the small looking diner sat cozily tucked into the corner of the street, he noticed there were a few cars there already, some people going in while some came out smiling and chatting happily with each other clearly energized for the day after a good meal.
Pulling swiftly into the parking lot Caleb locked the car behind him before heading inside. Immediately the chores of multiple voices talking met his ears, he couldn't make anything out specifically but the noise was there, he supposed that was common. The next thing he noticed was the delicious aroma of various spices and foods he could barely recognize but damn did everything smell so good. His stomach felt like it punched itself with the vicious ache that ripped through Caleb. He groaned slightly at the same time A loud ding rang above his head making Caleb look up quickly, his heart jumping slightly at the sudden noise only to relax once he saw the bell still wiggling slightly from his entrance.
“Find a seat anywhere and I'll get to you in a second!” A younger male voice shouted from the counter. Caleb couldn't see him clearly as his upper half of the body ducked into the window linking the front counter to the kitchen. He heard loud laughter and found his lips twitching at the noise almost automatically.
Doing as the voice told him to, Caleb found an empty booth that was a few empty booths away from the bustle of people in the dinner that all seemed to be pairs of two or more. A sting raged through where his heart used to be, Caleb's fists tightened as he hastily grabbed at the menu to distract himself from his thoughts. His eyes raked over the menu, there was a lot on here that sounded good, but he already knew what he was going to get, his lips quirked at finding the item he wanted, his chest tightened slightly even from the fond thought. Letting out a loud sigh Caleb looked out the window to his right trying to distract himself.
“Hey there, welcome to Mary’s diner, what can I get ya?” Caleb's heart spiked at the sudden noise, spinning quickly his eyes caught familiar brown.
“Uh….hi? I'm not stalking you I promise” Caleb said quickly his mouth working faster than his brain. He rubbed his lips together cursing himself slightly at his word choice. Though when the guy laughed at him and smiled with this…wow, this warm big smile that had Caleb's neck and cheeks warming slightly at the sight, between the laugh and the smile Caleb found his muscles lessened in tension, his coils that felt always pulled so tight inside him relaxed just a bit. A breath left him as he felt his body adjust to this development.
“I didn't think for a second you were, after all I didn't give a great impression yesterday, did I? Sorry about that, had some stuff going on with me, wasn't in the greatest head space. How about we forget that and get you fed?” The guy smiled at him again and Caleb had to shake his head slightly to get his bearings. What was with him? He coughed a bit to buy himself some time to get himself together before responding.
“Ah sure? I'm Caleb Smoke….which you didn't need to know, because you're trying to take my order and not just listen to me as I introduce myself like a dumb ass, and I'm still talking, I'm stopping now” Caleb's face felt molten as he focused on the table that became the most interesting thing in the world to him and forced himself to not look at the waiter who he still hasn't given his order to.
Caleb peeked to the left when he heard the guy laughing loudly, his eyes took in how the guy's face seemed to light up as he laughed, holding his stomach as he doubled over from the intensity of his laughing. Caleb also clocked that a lot of the tables, if not all of them were now looking at them. Great.
“Oh man, I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you, but that was something else. Do you do that often? Since you introduced yourself, as you can see my Names Seth, Seth clearwater. Nice to meet you Caleb smoke.” Seth gestured to his name plate that held his name on display before sending Caleb a grin that had Caleb's lips mirror the action lightly. Though Caleb's attention soon turned to the other booths and tables that were still watching them, making Caleb lower his head as his shoulder hunched at the attention. He saw from the corner of his eye that Seth looked around the diner before looking back at Caleb.
“How about I take your order ok? Do you know what you want?”
Caleb nodded his head before clearing his throat. His face was still hot but he could feel it cooling as he noticed the other customers returning to their own conversations.
“French toast please, with orange juice. Could I get ice water in the meantime please?” Seth wrote down his order with a smile.
“Great choice, Mary makes the best French toast, you won't be disappointed. I'll get this in and bring your water to you quickly, ok?” Caleb nodded his head, his body cooling down now and returning to normal. Whatever that means these days. He watched as Seth went to the counter and put his order on the spinning wheel that he rotated to the chef, then he leaned in and spoke to the chef pointing lightly in Caleb's direction. He couldn't hear what was being said but it was clearly about him. Caleb moved his eyes towards the table, getting his phone out trying to pretend he wasn't looking at the waiter who made his body relax even slightly, that laugh and smile was a deadly combo.
Clicking on his phone trying to ignore the weirdness of his body's reactions, the sight that greeted him on the screen made the hole in his chest throb in agony. It was a picture of Kevin and him on their second date, Kevin had Caleb pulled tight against him, kissing his head while looking at the camera while Caleb's blush was on full display but a brilliant smile stretched across his face. On the table next to them, forgotten for the moment were two large orders of french toast that he remembered they had quickly devoured after the photo had been taken.
Caleb didn't realize he was staring until a soft voice spoke next to him followed by a glass of ice water being placed on the table.
“Are you ok?” Seth asked gently. Caleb couldn't help it, he felt the laugh escape him before he could even try and stop it.
“No, not at all” he laughed slightly, but it was wet, he felt the tears fall down his cheeks as he continued to stare at the photo. Seth must have been very observant, or it was just plainly obvious by Caleb's actions why he was so upset when he spoke next, his voice cautious, yet so soothing. Why was it so soothing?
“I'm so sorry for your loss. He seemed to make you very happy if that photo is anything to go by” More tears fell as Caleb listened to Seth.
“So happy. So, fucking happy” Caleb whispered his chest burning in agony at the feeling assaulting him. He needed to stop. With more willpower than he thought he was capable of having he clicked off his phone, making a silent reminder to put a different background on his phone, he couldn't fall apart like this every time he clicked on his phone. He took a deep breath as he pockets the device, coughing a few times to lighten the sudden heaviness in his throat. He turned to offer Seth what he hoped was a smile but he was sure it was definitely not one.
“Sorry about that, that was way too heavy for first meetings…or second meetings in our case, though if I had my way I wouldn't bring it up at all, but here I am bringing it up, and still talking, why am I still talking? I need to stop…now.” Caleb's face flamed once more, but this time after his ramble Seth didn't laugh, he looked at Caleb with such intense brown eyes, like he could see all of him, like he was laid bare before Seth and he could see every flaw, every trait of himself, like Seth could see all of what Caleb was.
Saliva pooled in his mouth, making him swallow on reflex as he sat there and waited for, what? What was he waiting for? And why did it feel like it was so important? Seth finally took mercy on him and smiled though not as brightly as before, it was smaller, but still so genuine.
“Would you like a tour of forks today?” Caleb blinked, that was unexpected. Where had that come from? Caleb's mouth slacked slightly he could feel his eyes widen a bit. Seth smiled a little bigger, instantly Caleb felt his body relax, like Seth's smile calmed down his sudden racing heart. What is happening?
“I think you could use a friend. You're new to forks right? It's not a massive place, but it can be confusing at first. I can show you around, show you the best shops, as well as the ones you should avoid. What do you say?”
Caleb started. The offer hanging in the air, the surrounding sounds seemed to melt away, his only focus was this guy who set his body aflame without his permission, who eased his emotional coils with a smile, a guy whose look made Caleb feel exposed and SEEN. His heart pounded in his chest, his throat felt dry.
The thing was though; Caleb was lonely. He knew it, but what could he do? He never socialized outside of Kevin, Kevin was his entire focus, well Kevin and his training. And his night job. Those last two things did not leave a lot of room to socialize outside of his boyfriend, not that he had wanted to focus on anyone but Kevin mind you but still. Now though, Kevin is gone. He had no one. He was broken, hollowed out, gutted. He wasn't who he used to be. But god he was lonely. This guy, out of nowhere is offering to be his FRIEND, like it was no big deal, but to Caleb it was.
He found himself answering before he could really register his words leaving his mouth.
“I could use a friend.” Then he felt them, the tears had made another appearance. Fuck he was crying a lot today. He should have stayed home damn it.
Seth smiled brightly at him and nodded, not bringing attention to Caleb's fresh tears, a fact Caleb was hugely grateful for.
“Perfect, I get out at noon, swing by then and I'll take you around the town, ok? But first let me get you fed and taken care of, ok?” Caleb found himself nodding his head though he made no conscious decision to do so. Clearly his body was on autopilot while his brain tried to figure out what the hell was happening to him. Seth nodded and left the booth to go take care of the other patrons. Leaving Caleb with his thoughts that swarmed like angry bees in his head. Buzzing furiously but not able to make sense of them.
Was he so far gone that one random guy's friendliness made him cave so easily at company? Was he that lonely? Those thoughts hammered at his head but one more struck true that seemed to overpower the others. Did it matter?
Caleb stared at Seth as he walked around the booths talking to the patrons, smiling at them and taking care of them easily. Like he had been doing this all his life. Caleb wanted to say that Seth would have offered anyone here friendship, that just seemed to be who Seth was, so friendly, outgoing. Except. Seth looked at Caleb frequently, stealing small glances, like he was reassuring himself that Caleb was ok, or still there. He didn't look that frequently at the other tables, he gave them the curious glance to make sure they didn't need him, but he didn't look at them like they wanted to make sure they were still ok.
Closing his eyes Caleb leaned back against his seat. Maybe this was a good thing. He'd get to explore forks, get the inside details from someone who lived here, and maybe just maybe. He could actually make a friend. Maybe. Either way, he would go through with this and see where things landed. He owed it to himself, and to Kevin to try.
Luckily things didn't get any worse, Seth came back with his stack of French toast that was crazy good, holy shit, who puts chocolate chips in French toast? And why had he never thought of that before?! He didn't need his stomach punching him once the food was in front of him to absolutely devour the food much to Seth's amusement. Those brown eyes alight with mirth as his lips curved into a smile making Caleb look anywhere but Seth as his body once more did its own thing. After eating his food Caleb left the diner but not before leaving a rather generous tip, the guy was going to show him around town! He deserved to be paid for it. At least that's what Caleb told himself. Seth still had a few more hours till he was done, so Caleb wandered aimlessly around town, peeking into small shop windows taking stock of the little mom and pop shops that seemed to be spread out through the town.
As noon approached Caleb returned to his car, his simple silver Subaru legacy, it wasn't fancy, or anything special really, but Caleb didn't want to stand out and this car didn't scream “rich teenager” so he was very happy with it, plus it was surprisingly comfortable.
Caleb's attention snapped to the front door of the diner as the door flung open and Seth rushed out with a smile on his face which only got bigger when he spotted Caleb casually leaning against his car, arms crossed and looking back at him.
“Hey! Are you ready for that tour?” Seth’s smile was contagious, Caleb found his own face mirroring the soft smile that was on Seth's face against his will. Not wanting to embarrass himself further this day Caleb just rolled with whatever his body seemed to be doing and promised to fully freak out about it later. He nodded to Seth before tilting his head towards the passenger side door which Seth went right for with a grin.
Once Caleb was seated comfortably in his seat, seat belt fully fastened over him, the faint smell of a new car hitting him, leather and faint carpet cleaner no doubt used on the seats to make sure they were cleaned thoroughly. He started the car listening as the car roared to life and purred as they sat in the parking lot, ready for their next destination.
“Well, where to? You're in charge” Caleb said turning to face Seth who was looking at him, his whole posture was relaxed, which Caleb really didn't think was right, considering they were strangers and he was in said strangers car, Caleb figured that warranted at least a bit of unease, yet Seth looked…almost like he had nowhere else he'd rather be than here. Weird.
“Ok so let's start with the main shopping centers, where you can get groceries and other necessities. Pull out of here and turn right, follow the road for about fifteen minutes, i'll tell you where to go when we get there”
Caleb nodded his head as he put the gear shift into reverse to pull out, with swift movements he threw the gear shift into drive and drove out of the parking lot following Seth's directions. As Caleb drove he realised how loose his body felt, nowhere near perfect mind you, but definitely not as wound tight as he had been the last four months. The atmosphere in the car was quiet but it wasn't that awkward silence that two strangers would normally experience, no. It was actually that kind of silence that you didn't feel the need to talk just to make the silence go away, you just let it exist.
Caleb's hands tightened around the wheel, his heart spiking slightly , what was happening? Why was he so at ease with this guy? He didn't know him, but his presence just seems to make Caleb's body melt for lack of a better word. After so long of being so tense, wound so tightly the smallest thing would set off the water works, to feel even the slightest bit of reprieve from that….it didn't feel right, he shouldn't feel good, his fiancé was DEAD, he should feel wound up, tense, he deserved to be in pain, to suffer….to feel even the smallest bit of reprieve…felt like he wasn't honoring Kevin.
No. Caleb shook his head, wiping his eyes quickly as they blurred with tears. Honoring Kevins memory would mean that he stopped punishing himself, Kevin would be pissed at how Caleb was now. He'd be so disappointed. Kevin would want him to feel good, to let go, to be happy.
The car pulled over as Caleb broke down, resting his head against the steering wheel as sobs ran through his body. God he was pathetic. Losing his shit because someone made him feel even the slightest bit better. Oh fuck, Seth was still in the car. Caleb groaned before banging his head against the steering wheel.
“Hey now, none of that. Easy Caleb. It's ok." A warm large hand held his forehead before he could bash it against the steering wheel again. He shook his head and pulled back from the first physical contact he's had in four months.
“It's not, it's not ok. I'm sorry, I'll take you home, just tell me where you live, unless you don't want to because I'm clearly insane and unwell and you really shouldn't give your home address to guys you've just met, honestly you shouldn't get in cars with them either. Not that I'd ever do anything! But in principle, stranger danger is a thing man. Why am I still talking? I need to stop, I'm going to stop..now ....”
Caleb squeezed his eyes shut his hands clammy, his heart beating erratically in his chest. Not wanting to see the disgust or god forbid fear on Seth’s face. Any second now the guy was going to open the passenger door and run for his life, Caleb really couldn't blame him.
“Hey, it's ok Caleb. You're ok. I'm ok. I have no problem telling you where I live, I have pretty good instincts when it comes to who to trust, I know you won't hurt me and not just because I'm like a whole foot bigger than you.”
The noise that came out of Caleb will forever be called manly and not a high pitched squawk till the day he dies. Watery green met Smiling brown, Caleb could feel his body almost sag at that look, like somehow Seth was actually soothing him, calming him. But that was crazy. It wasn't a huge difference but it was noticeable.
“What is happening?” Caleb groaned as he rested his head on the seat trying to make sense of what he was feeling.
“Do you want to continue with the tour? It might help you not focus on those negative thoughts. I know some pretty neat shops that have unique merchandise that you won't find in those big corporate stores”
Caleb turned his head to look at Seth who was rubbing his hands together as he bit his lip slightly. His eyes looked at Caleb’s making Caleb instantly cave. What the fuck? Those are the best puppy dog eyes he has ever seen!
“We can, if you really want to. You sure you want to spend more time with a crazy person who is likely to burst into tears at any given moment because he's a complete mess?”
Seth’s loud laughter rang in the car as he turned his bright smile on Caleb who found himself returning the smile to a much smaller degree.
“I don't think you're crazy, and I'm totally ok with spending time with you even if you burst into tears all through our time together. I'll still be here, I promise I'm not going anywhere.” Caleb stopped slightly from turning the car on again. The way Seth had said that, it sounded so much more than just staying around for today. Like Seth was planning on sticking around even after this.
‘I think you could use a friend’ Seth's words echoed in his skull.
That's what he had said, did that mean he was serious about them being friends? Even after seeing how messed up Caleb was? He still wanted to stick around? Continuing to turn the car on Caleb looked over at Seth, the silly smile Seth sent his way, along with his thoughts made Caleb's skin burn, he could feel it climb from his neck to his face. The smile on Seth's face grew in size, Caleb forced his eyes to face the road. Clearing his throat he asked.
“Ok, so where do we go?” Seth chuckled lightly before giving Caleb directions that he eagerly followed, anything to take his mind off how insanely content his body felt right now. Though, if he was honest with himself. It felt nice, he forgot what this felt like. Besides, Kevin would want him to just go with the flow, live life, take the next steps in his life. While he had no inclination to do the last two things, he was willing to follow where this friendship with Seth went. Maybe…just maybe he could allow himself to enjoy this feeling-though admitting that filled him with guilt, twisting his stomach painfully as he thought about his Kevin
As they drove that soothing silence surrounded them once more, Caleb couldn't help sneaking small glances at Seth who was watching the road tapping his fingers to a beat only he could hear, a smile on his face. He looked so at ease. Trying to follow his example Caleb took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He just needed to keep himself together, god he hoped he was done crying for the day.
Caleb’s earlier worry about keeping himself together had slowly faded into something surprisingly close to contentment. The rest of their morning had passed easily as Seth guided him through Forks’ modest downtown. They’d browsed quiet mom-and-pop shops that lined the streets, Caleb gradually filling his back seat with a few carefully selected treasures—beautifully carved wooden lamps, peaceful photographs of mist-shrouded forests, and striking driftwood sculptures, each crafted with undeniable care and pride.
There wasn't a ton here, Caleb noticed, the small-town charm evident yet limited. Seth, ever observant, had picked up on Caleb's quiet reflection immediately and apologized for the limited selection. Caleb had quickly shaken his head, reassuring him that what mattered wasn't quantity but the obvious passion and craftsmanship that had gone into every piece he'd bought. He meant it, too.
Now, sitting comfortably outside a tiny ice cream shop Seth had eagerly recommended, Caleb slowly ate his ice cream, quietly amused by Seth’s enthusiasm over his triple-scoop monstrosity.
Seth smiled sheepishly after another enthusiastic bite. "Next time, we could always head to Port Angeles. It's a bit bigger, has more stuff to do than Forks. Seattle’s further out, but there's always plenty to see there too."
Caleb shook his head with a soft smile. "Honestly, I'm actually really impressed by Forks. I mean it. Everything here feels...personal. Real."
Seth’s smile widened brightly. "In that case, I actually have one more stop in mind, if you're interested. My friend Paul does some amazing woodwork out of his workshop. You might find something there you'd like, since you seem to have an eye for that sort of thing."
Caleb felt his lips twitch as he eyed Seth’s excitement, unable to stop the contagious feeling spreading to him.
“You're the boss Seth” Caleb said, shrugging as he threw away the napkin in the nearest trash bin. Before heading back to his car, a grinning Seth quickly climbed into the passenger side.
The quiet hum of tires filled the silence as Caleb followed Seth’s directions onto the reservation, the scenery gradually shifting around him. The dense, ever-present forests of Forks opened slightly, giving way to a stretch of land dotted with modest homes nestled comfortably among trees and natural greenery. The houses here were simple, charming, and unassuming, their colors muted by years of gentle rain and softened sunlight. Each home seemed comfortably settled into the land rather than standing out starkly against it, giving Caleb the sense that these homes had always belonged here, rooted in harmony with the forest around them.
Paul’s house came into view after a gentle curve in the road—a cozy, sturdy-looking one-story home painted in earthy browns and muted greens, blending seamlessly into the backdrop of towering trees behind it. The porch wrapped partially around the front, lined with a sturdy wooden railing, a few chairs casually arranged as if to invite visitors to relax and linger.
Beside the house stood a spacious detached garage. Built solidly from natural wood, the structure had clearly seen careful craftsmanship and frequent use. Wide double doors stood slightly ajar, revealing glimpses of woodworking tools, half-completed projects, and stacks of neatly organized lumber inside. Warm light spilled gently from small windows along the garage walls, suggesting a welcoming, creative space within.
Caleb found himself feeling oddly comforted as he parked the Subaru, breathing in deeply the scent of fresh wood, pine, and something faintly like sawdust lingering in the air. It was peaceful here, he realized. Quiet, grounded, and deeply genuine—like everything else he'd encountered in this small corner of the world Seth called home.
As Caleb got out of the car slowly, looking around, Seth had exited the car quickly.
“PAUL!” he shouted, making Caleb wince. There was probably a much less rude way to gain the attention of the person who was home. Like knock. Shaking his head Caleb made his way to Seth’s side who was grinning at him eagerly.
A few seconds later A tall and imposing guy radiating a quiet confidence that seemed embedded in every part of his frame walked out of the house. He was muscular and broad-shouldered, his physique clearly shaped by the physical work he put into his woodworking and whatever else he did around the reservation. His skin was richly tanned, complementing eyes that were deep, dark brown—intense yet carefully guarded, as if constantly weighing the world around him.
His hair was short-cropped and dark, slightly tousled as though he rarely gave it much thought beyond practicality. There was a certain ruggedness about him that matched perfectly with his surroundings—the faint traces of sawdust on his faded jeans and worn, earth-toned shirt hinting at hours spent in his workshop, creating things with his hands. His jaw was strong, his expression stern or serious before it relaxed slightly at the sight of a grinning Seth. his face turning into a form of fond exasperation.
Caleb couldn't help but notice that Paul shared some striking similarities with Seth. Both were tall and powerfully built, their physiques clearly shaped by active lives, but Caleb much preferred Seth's leaner build than Paul's more bulky form.
That particular thought blasted through his mind before he could stop it, flooding him with embarrassment. Heat rushed furiously into his face, leaving his cheeks painfully hot. Paul approached them slowly, an eyebrow raised in clear curiosity as his gaze moved back and forth between a grinning Seth and an increasingly mortified Caleb, who was now silently begging the universe to just swallow him whole.
Where the hell had that thought come from?!
“Hey Seth, what are you doing here?” Paul’s eyes darted between Seth and Caleb who noticed the slight raise of an eyebrow from Paul and the short shrug and content smile that passed over Seth’s face before Paul rolled his eyes and smiled back slightly at seth.
“This is Caleb! Caleb, this is Paul.” Seth introduced them excitedly, a mood that Caleb was begging to think was Seth default mode.
Caleb met Paul's eyes, holding his hand out with a slight smile on his face.
“Nice to meet you, sorry for dropping by unannounced, but Seth was insistent we stop here” Paul shook his hand and wow what a grip holy shit. Paul chuckled slightly before his eyes went back to Seth.
“It's no problem, I'm very used to this one showing up randomly wanting something or another, but what brings you here this time?” He asked as Caleb and Paul's hands retracted.
“I was showing Caleb all the good shops in town, he was really impressed with the love and care they put into their work, i told him about your work and well, here we are” Seth grinned wide even as Paul's face heated up.
“It's just a hobby man, nothing major” Paul hissed embarrassment coloring his words. But Seth wasn't deterred.
“Come on man, show him your stuff, who knows you might make a sale!” Paul’s eyes shifted looking between Caleb and Seth, Caleb felt bad for the guy, he was being put on the spot by Seth here. But he was very curious about the kind of woodwork Paul did.
“I'm still furnishing my house, it's…really empty. It'd be nice to put more local artwork in it, to make it feel homely.” Paul met his eyes, some understanding seemed to flash through him as he looked at Seth who was pleading with him with his eyes “Fine” sighed. Head shaking the red still present on his cheeks.
“but it's really nothing that impressive man. Come on.” With that Paul led them to the door of the garage, unlocked it and swung the door open before flicking a light that gave the room a faint illuminated look.
Around the room were various pieces of wood lying along the ground, not messy, controlled and organized neatly in places that wouldn't be in the way but were easily available. Stepping further into the room Caleb noticed a few tables with started or nearly completed wood sculptures. The ones that were nearly done Caleb could make out looked like a couple bears in different poses, a few Deer, Owls. Those must be a pain in the ass to make, damn. The wings must have taken Paul ages and a very steady hand. Something Caleb would not have guessed the very big and slightly intimidating guy was capable of. Shows him for judging a book by its cover.
Caleb's eyes moved around the room some more before they stopped on a central table that housed at least five medium sized sculptures. His breath caught. Walking closer he bent down slightly to get a better look. All five were of different wolves in various positions, all fully colored in great detail. Jumping, laying down, arched to attack, howling, the last one made Caleb's heart melt. The last one was sitting with its head tilted just slightly, it was such a simple act, but it looked so organic. He loved them all.
“Are these for sale? I'll buy all five of them if they are” Caleb looked back at Paul to see his mouth slacked slightly though his face was completely aflame, him and Seth had been surprisingly quiet, Caleb figured on Paul's part it was because he was maybe nervous about some stranger seeing his hobby, but Seth being quiet was unexpected. Caleb's eyes looked at Seth who was simply watching him, his hands in his pockets as he just watched Caleb with such a soft smile that it was Caleb's turn to duck his head away from that gaze lest he embarrass himself by blushing…again.
“Uh, yeah sure man, let me get you some boxes.” Paul rushed off to find something Caleb could put the statues in, leaving Celeb to continue to look around, wanting to distract himself from Seth’s gaze. That's when his eyes landed on a chest sitting innocently on the floor a little bit away. Making his way to it Caleb crouched to his knees letting his hand run along the exterior which was smooth and slightly chilly but what really caught Caleb's attention were the intricate designs of frolicking wolfs dancing and playing along the edges of the chest before a huge pack of them all sat nestled under the trees with the moon hovering overhead beaming down on all of them. It was beautiful, and must have taken Paul forever to do, Caleb could tell just how much love and time went into this.
“How much for this?” Caleb asked when Paul was standing beside them again, all the statues carefully placed in various boxes to make sure they wouldn't be damaged as they transported them to Caleb's house. Paul, softly and clearly embarrassed by Caleb's continued admiration of his work rattled off a price that Caleb quickly agreed to. It was costly, the most expensive thing he'd paid for today, but this was worth it.
“You really like wolves huh?” Paul asked as he accepted the money Caleb handed over for his purchases.
A pang of ache stung in Caleb's chest as he let out a slight laugh.
“My uh…my fiance, he was obsessed with werewolves, absolutely enthralled with the idea that they were real” Caleb rolled his eyes fondly as his lips curved in remembrance. He missed the two guys sharing a quick intense look before their eyes were back on Caleb who was still staring at the chest.
“I absolutely refused to have werewolf-like statues and propaganda all through our house. I dealt with enough monsters in my life that I didn't need to see them when I was home.” Another wet chuckle escaped him as he remembered Kevins absolute look of betrayal when Caleb had told him such. He didn't think anything of his little slip, too lost in his memories to pay attention to what he said.
“But his happiness meant everything to me and I knew just how insane he was with the idea. So we made a compromise. I'd let him put as many wolf related things in our house as he wanted.” A snort burst free from his mouth at the naivety he had back then, he really didn't think it would be that bad but dear god, Kevin really took him up on that.
“Our whole house was PACKED full of wolf related merchandise, it was equally impressive and terrifying just how much different stuff he could find.” Caleb could feel the smile on his face even as tears fell hurriedly down his cheeks. God, he loved that boy.
A warm touch on his shoulder had him jumping slightly, turning his head to look up to understanding soft brown eyes, the look brought even more tears to his face, Seth looked truly like he understood. The hand on his shoulder felt so fucking good. So grounding. God he's become so touch starved, no one has touched him in four months, no hugs, no cuddles, no holding him through his nightmares. Nothing.
“Fuck” Caleb took a deep breath and focused on the feeling of Seths hand, Seth whole presence, something about Seth soothed him, and as much as that was weird as fuck to him, he was not going to question it right now, not when it could help him not have another breakdown Infront of the guy. Letting out the breath forcing his emotions to just settle, he could break down when he was home, where no one could see him. Till then he'd just grin and bear it.
“Sorry about that, don't mean to keep looking like a crazy person in front of you, breaking down like this so often, you must think I'm pathetic, I think I'm pathetic, and I'm rambling again, of course I am, I need to stop…right now.” The hand on his shoulder squeezed comfortably making him look up to see Seth smiling down at him.
“I don't think your pathetic, I think you're grieving over someone who you clearly loved a great deal. It's ok to cry and let it out. Trust me, I had to do the same when my dad died. It hurts, but it hurts a lot more if you keep it in. So don't be afraid to let it out, especially around me, ok? I'll still be here; I'm not going anywhere. I promise.”
Calebs felt his chest tighten, his lungs froze slightly. There was that promise again. Seth seemed so sure that he was going to stick around Caleb, no matter how broken he was. Why would he do that? Why would he go so far for someone he just met? But most importantly. Why did Caleb so desperately want to believe him?
Shaking his head he let out another breath before looking up and doing his best to return the smile Seth sent his way.
“That may be true, but I keep breaking down in front of you, I don't even know you, and now I'm crying in front of Paul who I only know makes amazing wooden statues and chests. Not a great first impression” Seth grinned and squeezed Caleb's shoulder once more before letting go, Caleb forced himself to ignore how he missed that heat immediately.
“I Dunno about that, I think you're pretty cool so far, and Paul has to like you, you're buying his stuff. It would be really bad business to not be nice to the guy buying your stuff.” Caleb snorted before looking at Paul who was smiling warmly at the two of them, before he caught Caleb's eyes and winked an easy smile on his face.
“I mean, he's not wrong” Caleb let out a small chuckle, before another, then another. Then Caleb was laughing full force, his stomach pinching in exuberance. He looked up to Seth to see Seth's whole face glowing with the brightest smile he'd seen on Seth yet, and that was saying something. Then Seth joined him in his laughter, followed by Paul's quiet chuckles.
Caleb didn't even know why he was laughing so hard, what was so funny really. But he couldn't help it, something in him just erupted, a need to feel this, to allow himself to feel this. His eyes landed on Seth once again, something that has been happening so much today, what he said was true. He didn't know Seth Clearwater yet, but God did he want to. If Seth was really so insistent to stick around then Caleb was going to just accept it, he was going to go with the flow, like Kevin would have wanted him to do and see if maybe he could feel even the tiniest bit of warmth in his chest once again.