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Chapter Text

8 years ago, November

A lone bank robber ran through alleyways, constantly looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was following him. His accomplices were already taken down and in handcuffs, and Dick really thought he should know it was futile to run. He followed leisurely, jumping from rooftop to rooftop with Wonder Girl flying next to him.

It would be easy for Dick to just have Kid Flash get it over with, but where was the fun in that?

“Speedy” Dick said over comms. He saw the younger boy look over from where he was also following from the rooftops across the alleyway. “Take the shot”.

“Oh” Speedy said sheepishly from over comms. Dick frowned. “I uh- I kinda ran out of arrows”?

“Again”? Dick paused and so did Wonder Girl. Speedy also paused on the opposite roof.

“Hush Kid Flash” Wonder Girl said as said boy appeared on the rooftop, stopping right next to her. He had Aqualad, who was trying not to giggle, piggybacked on his back. “Speedy, how long have you been out of arrows”?

“Uh, like 15 minutes”?

“Speedy, Green Arrow told you to-”.

“I know, I know! Pack more arrows than you think you need and then double it” Speedy groaned, cutting Kid Flash off.

“Rob, do you want me to go pick up his arrows?” Kid Flash offered, shifting eagerly from foot to foot. 

“No, it’s okay we can do it after we finish with this last guy” Dick said. 

“Oops?” Speedy offered, not sounding remotely sorry.

“Speaking of this last guy” Aqualad said from where he was still piggybacking Kid Flash. “He’s getting away”.

“Oh yeah” Dick said. “Kid Flash, go get him”.

“Yes”!

“Aw man, come on Rob” Speedy complained as Kid Flash disappeared, leaving Aqualad standing there and only looking a little confused. Dick watched as the last robber was suddenly on the floor, Kid Flash standing over him with the stolen goods victoriously. He shot Dick a thumbs up.

A little while later they sat together on a rooftop, overlooking the police as they finished putting the last of the robbers in the back of cop cars. Dick kicked his legs back and forth over the edge of the rooftop.

“This was fun!” Aqualad said, chugging a water bottle. “I hope it’s always this fun”!

“As long as we’re together, it will be,” Dick decided. Because with them, when would anything not be fun?

-

Monday Night November 25th, -xxx1

“Nightwing is thinking of starting the case again” WALLY said casually as he watched Roy play video games. Roy paused the game and looked up at Wally from his spot on the floor.

“Really? Now?” Roy asked, setting his controller down. “Why”?

The League had given the team a case on Toyman. He had apparently turned a new leaf and was opening toy stores in several locations around the US. Their job was to see if Toyman was actually good or if this was just a ploy. They knew this case was a dud, it wasn’t anything real or important. But the League was testing them, making sure they could still function after everything that had happened this year.

“The next toy store opening is soon,” Wally said. “And Bird thinks that it’s been enough time since the war in Atlantis that Garth will be able to join us”.

“And- how is Garth doing?” Roy asked, now just turning off the game completely. Since putting the case on pause in September, Roy had been putting a lot more effort into his rehab so he hadn’t seen his fellow Titans much since then.

And Garth- Garth had been through a lot. They were all worried about him, but he seemed fine now. Wally wasn’t sure how much of it was an act or not, but they did their best to support him. They were lucky that Garth wasn’t the type of person to turn them away. He didn’t talk about it much, but he didn’t hide from them either.

“He’s doing better. He’s coming back to the tower more and he seems better” Wally explained, remembering that empty look in Garth’s eye the first time Wally had seen him after the war. “Do you feel ready to get back to the case”?

“Yeah I’m fine” Roy insisted as he sat next to Wally on the couch.

Wally knew this was true. He was very involved in Roy’s recovery, and Roy had been in outpatient rehab since May after struggling with addiction for like two years. Wally was proud of how much work he was putting into his recovery, especially after his huge relapse in April.

“Bird still has to talk about it with Donna and Garth, but I just thought I would let you know it’s coming,” Wally told him. Roy raised an eyebrow.

“How are we gonna get the League to let us-“?

“Bird said he would work on that with Donna” Wally said, not wanting to think about it much.

It was frustrating. The League was still treating them like children. Yeah, they had been kids when they started, but Wally was almost 21! And Roy, Titans A’s youngest member, recently turned 18. They were adults, they have been doing this for years. He understood the concern after everything that had happened this year (especially in April), but similar things had happened to the League and they didn’t have any restrictions.

The point was that Titan’s A didn’t need a League appointed chaperone. It was an easy case, they could do it themselves.

They went to sleep late that night, but Wally was on Thanksgiving break from University and Roy didn’t really have anything to do so it was fine. They both slept in Roy’s room in Uncle Hal’s apartment, because when have any of their friends forced the others to sleep on the couch?

Garth sleeping in the bathtub didn’t count, they were keeping him alive.

Roy had been living between Uncle Hal’s and Uncle Barry’s ever since the League had found out about him getting kicked out of Ollie’s. He had originally been staying at Donna’s apartment but Uncle Hal and Uncle Barry had insisted. Uncle Hal was currently off-world with the other five Earth Lanterns, and usually that meant Roy would stay with Uncle Barry, but Roy was 18 now and working hard in rehab so they felt better leaving him by himself.

He still invited Wally over today though.

Wally awoke in the middle of the night to a noise in the kitchen. He immediately turned to his left to see Roy also looking at him.

Someone was in the apartment.

They both got up quickly, Roy grabbing a bat that was leaned up against his bed. As superheroes, they always had to be cautious, and it would be weird if Flash and Red Arrow just appeared in a random apartment so a bat instead of arrows and Wally discreetly using his speed it was.

They went to the door of Roy’s room and Wally used his fingers to count down from three before zipping out of the room, through the kitchen and behind the intruder. Wally was about to hit him when-

“Uncle Hal?” Wally and Roy said at the same time and Uncle Hal jumped out of his skin.

It sure was Uncle Hal, but he looked exhausted. He was holding a bottle of water in one hand while the other was against his chest.

“Sorry did I wake you up?” Uncle Hal whispered.

“Uh, kinda? But it’s fine we’re just used to being careful” Wally told him, stepping around so that Uncle Hal could face both of them at the same time. He also matched Uncle Hal’s volume despite the fact that the only three people in the apartment were awake. Maybe Uncle Hal had a headache?

“Where have you been?” Roy asked, also whispering. “And why are you back so early”?

“It’s a long story. There was a war, and yellow lanterns and- you know what I’ll give you the details later” Uncle Hal told them as he turned on the kitchen light. Wally frowned.

Not only did Uncle Hal look exhausted, but he looked sad. Wally could see it clearly in his eyes and how it seemed to weigh on him. Wally watched as Uncle Hal pulled some blankets out of the linen closet and went over to the couch.

“Are you okay?” Roy asked, hovering after him and ready to help.

“And why are you making up the couch?” Wally asked. Uncle Hal knew that Wally would just sleep in Roy’s room, so it couldn’t have been for him.

Uncle Hal sighed and sat on the couch, his head in his hands. Wally and Roy kneeled down in front of him, Roy looking at Wally with wide eyes.

“Uncle Hal?” Wally asked. The last time Uncle Hal had been like this-

“There was another Parallax situation” Uncle Hal explained before freezing and Wally’s chest felt tight.

He remembered how Uncle Hal got possessed by Parallax in August (not that they knew that until later), and how Wally and Roy had insisted that something was wrong but no one would really listen, saying that grief changed people. Wally had been so sure he had lost Uncle Hal forever, that they would never be able to save him. He had to fight against him with the League and it felt like he was losing everything after what had happened with-

“Uncle Hal-“ Roy started, sounding devastated and Uncle Hal looked up in alarm. He was quick to grab Roy’s hand and squeeze.

“Hey, I’m okay. It wasn’t me, it was another Lantern” Uncle Hal explained. Wally felt his eyes widen and Uncle Hal looked like he didn’t mean to say that.

“John? Guy? Jessica? Simon?” Roy asked and Uncle Hal shook his head. It could’ve been another sector’s lantern, but-

“Was it Four” Wally said, thinking about Earth’s fourth Green Lantern that had stepped in after Uncle Hal got possessed by Parallax. They called him Four because he refused to share his face or name with anyone. The League had referred to him as Green Lantern, but it always felt wrong to Wally.

“Yeah” Uncle Hal confirmed and Wally sat back almost dazed. “He’s sleeping in my room right now, so if you see him, be nice. I know the three of you didn’t get along, but he’s been through it”.

Both Wally and Roy nodded but- Four was back? Wally hadn’t seen him since he left Earth and restored OA. And they hadn’t left off on the best terms. Wally tried not to wince at the memory.

“He’ll be staying here a couple of days until we get him settled on Earth again” Hal explained. That made sense, Four had been gone since September. Would he even have his apartment anymore? He had left Earth rather abruptly, Wally didn’t think he put any rent money down.

“Is it- is it bad” Roy asked. Uncle Hal frowned.

“I don’t think so, but it’s pretty recent, so too soon to tell. He’s tough though, I’m sure he’ll bounce back. We can all talk more tomorrow, but try not to let him know you know” Uncle Hal said and they both nodded. After they were each given a hug, a tight hug, they went back to Roy’s room to let Uncle Hal sleep.

“He’s back” Roy whispered. “Just as we’re thinking of starting the case again”?

“I know,” Wally sighed as he laid back in Roy’s bed. “I’ll tell Bird tomorrow”.

Wally surprisingly fell asleep pretty easily, and both he and Roy woke up before Uncle Hal and Four, so they hid in Roy’s room until they heard movement in the kitchen.

Good. Wally was getting hungry.

“What are we gonna do about Four?” Roy asked as he stopped Wally from opening his room door.

It was a good question. Wally and Roy had just started getting along with Four when the thing that happened in September had happened. Wally wondered if Four was still mad about it. He had every reason to be. They had been stupid and selfish, and it had been important to him and-

“Uh. I guess pretend like it didn’t happen unless he brings it up? For now” Wally tried. “At least until we think of a better idea. And be nice! Uncle Hal said to be nice”! Roy nodded and the two exited Roy’s room.

Wally did not expect to see Four in the kitchen. Without Uncle Hal.

He went stiff when he looked in their direction. He was wearing an Air Force shirt and sweatpants that were both probably Uncle Hal’s, and Uncle Hal’s signature jacket. He also wore a cap that was pulled down low over his face, hiding the part of his face that his mask would usually hide and his dark hair. Wally could see bandages poking from his shirt color and on his left hand, disappearing under Uncle Hal’s jacket.

Wally had rarely seen Four out of the Lantern uniform, and had never seen his face. Seeing him in Uncle Hal’s clothes in Uncle Hal’s kitchen was weird. Wally had been so mad at him for a couple of (not very but kinda justified?) reasons, but one of them had been that he was mad at Four for replacing Uncle Hal. He now was better at seeing that it wasn’t all Four’s fault, but they were all in the same space together now and it was weird.

“Uh” Four said, scratching at his tanned face as he swayed a bit. His voice was scratchy, like he was going to lose it or had lost it. “Hi”?

“Hi,” Wally said numbly. Roy gave a little wave.

They all kind of just stared at each other for a second before Four grabbed the box of cereal on the counter and Wally took pity on him.

“Uh, do you like eggs?” Wally asked. Four paused.

“Yeah, I guess” he rasped out. Wally stepped forward and took the cereal box from him and put it away before pointing at the table.

“Sit” Wally said and Four did, Roy sitting across from him.

Wally poured Four a glass of water and set it in front of him before getting to work on the eggs. He had brought some from Central City because God forbid Roy actually go grocery shopping. While they were in the pan, he boiled some water and pulled out peppermint tea and honey.

“Here” Wally said, setting a plate in front of Four and Roy before setting his own and Uncle Hal’s on the table as well. He gave Four a cup of the peppermint tea. “For your throat”.

Four brought a hand to his throat before redirecting it to grab the tea and take a sip.

“Thank you” he said quietly and Wally just nodded as he took his seat.

Uncle Hal came out of his room a couple of minutes later with wet hair and a towel around his shoulders. He grinned at them and sat down in the empty chair between Roy and Four after grabbing some water. Thankfully he looked much better than last night.

“Thank you Wally” Uncle Hal said and Wally grinned. Roy made an annoyed noise.

“How do you know I didn’t make it, huh Uncle Hal?” Roy asked. Uncle Hal looked unimpressed.

“It’s not burnt. And Torchie is almost done with his and hasn’t fallen over dead yet” Uncle Hal said. Wally and Roy glanced between Uncle Hal and-

“Torchie?” Roy asked, amused. The part of Four’s face Wally could see was bright red as he took another sip of his tea.

“Is that his official Lantern nickname?” Wally asked.

It had been easier when there was one Green Lantern, but by the time they had three things had gotten confusing. Because asking for Green Lantern to do something over comms always got a response of “which one” or multiple or none of the Lanterns doing said thing, each Lantern had been given a nickname.

Uncle Hal had been the one to give the nicknames, and did not hold back with his new found power. John had been given the nickname Problem Child or PC, and Guy was One-Hit. They had been the only other Lanterns at the time, so they had retaliated by giving Uncle Hal the nickname Captain Crybaby (or CC) after hearing the story about how Uncle Hal had told Uncle Barry his secret identity. Simon had later been given the nickname Vroom, and Jess was Braincell.

But Four hadn’t been on Earth when Uncle Hal was freed from Parallax. Wally was sure they hadn’t been able to interact until whatever war the Lanterns had been fighting happened.

Wally didn’t count Four fighting Uncle Hal when he was possessed. That wasn’t Uncle Hal.

“Yep! Torchie because he’s the Lantern’s Torchbearer” Uncle Hal explained. It made sense, he was the last Green Lantern for a bit.

Fou- Torchie looked away.

“Hey, it could’ve been worse,” Uncle Hal teased. Torchie tilted his head in thought and then shrugged.

“Yeah,” Torchie said softly. “I could’ve been Captain Crybaby”.

Hal rolled his eyes and Roy laughed.

“You think your friend is dying one time and no one ever lets it go. Whatever. What are your guy’s plans for today” Uncle Hal asked before whirling on Torchie. “You don’t get to have plans. Your plans are to rest”.

Torchie saluted Uncle Hal as Wally checked the time.

“I have to do some stuff for school but then we have a meeting with Titans A” Wally said. Roy frowned.

“I won’t make it to that today, I have some rehab stuff to do” Roy said. He would probably be changing his schedule too in order to get back on the field.

“That’s fine. One of us will catch you up” Wally reassured him. “What about you Uncle Hal”?

“I have to check out a report on this whole war thing, but other than that we’ll both be regrouping with the other Lanterns today” Uncle Hal said. Wally got up and started gathering plates.

“I can do the dishes,” Torchie said, standing up too. Wally was about to tell him that he had it handled, but Uncle Hal stood up and took the plates from Wally with one hand and put his other hand on Torchie's shoulder.

“I’ve got 'em. Go get started on your school stuff Wally. And you-“ Uncle Hal said as he guided Torchie to the couch and made him sit down, “need to rest. Roy do you need a ride to rehab stuff”?

“I can drop him off,” Wally said and Roy nodded. Uncle Hal frowned but nodded.

“Alright, I’ll see you guys later?” Uncle Hal asked and they both nodded the affirmative. They grabbed their bags and other stuff they would need before leaving the apartment, saying their goodbyes to Uncle Hal and Torchie.

They didn’t get very far when Uncle Hal called out to them.

“Wally, Roy” Uncle Hal said as Wally and Roy stopped in their tracks and turned to him. He was quick to close the gap between them before continuing. “About what happened to him- if we could keep that between us. You know how the others can get”.

“Of course Uncle Hal” Wally said, because even though he and Torchie didn’t get along, Wally wouldn’t- he wouldn’t expose something so sensitive to the League. “None of it was your fault, so it isn’t his either”.

Roy’s rehab was now in Star City, since his old one in Coast City had been destroyed when the city had been, and a new one hadn’t been built in its place. Wally had thought Roy would want to change it to somewhere else, but Roy had been fine with the location.

“I’ll call you when I’m done” Roy promised before Wally could ask him to. They had done this many times before. “Are you staying at the Tower tonight”?

“I can. It would be good if we all did, I’ll ask the others” Wally promised and Roy grinned.

Wally waited for Roy to enter the building before running back to Missouri.

-

Tuesday November 26th, -xxx1

DICK met with Donna and Garth on Titans A’s floor in Titans Tower. They had already been talking when Dick arrived, both stopping and smiling at him when he walked in.

“Hey Nightwing” Donna greeted as Garth waved. “You’re late”.

“I know, I know,” Dick said easily. “Bad example, but I had to deal with some Bat stuff”.

Today Bat stuff meant that he had to stay back at work for a bit. He was an EMT so he couldn’t just clock out whenever he wanted, but his friends didn’t know that. They couldn’t know his secret identity because the League didn’t know Batman’s secret identity. And knowing Dick’s would make it easier for them to find out Bruce’s.

He hated it, but he understood why he had to do it.

“So what’s up” Garth asked, but Dick could tell he knew what this was about.

“I want to start the Toyman case again,” Dick told them. Donna frowned.

“Not that I don’t agree with you Bird, but the League were the ones who paused the case. They won’t just let us restart it because we want to” Donna pointed out, sounding frustrated.

“I know, but the League won’t let us do any other cases until we finish this one and prove ourselves to them” Dick said.

The League had given them an easy case to slowly get the team back on their feet, but Dick felt like the League was making them prove themselves, as if they haven’t already done so several times over the years. It had been a tough year for them, with Wally taking on the Flash mantle after Barry had “died”, Roy relapsing hard in April, everything else that happened in April and what Dick had done in June. And now Garth was dealing with everything that happened in the war in Atlantis.

The League wanted to make sure they could work as a team again. The League was afraid that one of them could die. Dick understood, but he felt like they could be trusted after all they had done for and with the League. They weren’t kids anymore.

“The Toyman case seems like a dead end,” Garth pointed out. “The League just gave it to us because they won’t trust us with anything else. We should be investigating the attack instead”.

They had been checking out Schott’s Dallas grand opening when the event had been interrupted by someone in a high tech suit. Yeah attacks happened all the time, but the mech had Kryptonite. Kara had gotten hurt. People had died. But the League wasn’t even looking into it, citing it as a one off incident.

“I think the attack and the grand opening are connected” Dick said and the other two frowned.

“But there wasn’t an attack at the Florida grand opening” Garth pointed out and Donna nodded.

The Florida grand opening in Miami had mostly gone according to plan, besides the fact that Kara and Garth had to cover for Wally and Four who- no, Dick wouldn’t think about it right now. The whole thing had become a dead end since then.

“They had Kryptonite. They knew Kara was gonna be there” Dick pointed out. One stipulation for Titans A to be able to be active again was that Kara join them for the case, which they didn’t really mind.

“Do you think Schott is behind it or someone else?” Donna asked and then paused. “Well if it’s him, he has to be working with someone else. Or at least he’s being supplied”.

“That’s the part I’m still piecing together,” Dick admitted. “But we need to continue the case so we can get more information”.

“I’m all for it,” Garth said firmly. “Is it just us three, or are we getting the whole band back together”?

“Wally is doing something for school and running late, but he should be here soon. Roy had rehab stuff and won’t make it to the meeting, but he’ll stop by later today and we can ask him how he feels about joining then” Dick explained. Dick knew Wally was onboard since Dick had brought up the idea with him first. Usually that’s something Dick would do with Donna but- Dick was trying to help Wally feel more included with team decisions. The way the League treated them like children bothered Wally the most, especially since he had taken up the Flash mantle and had been working with the League, but wasn’t allowed to actually be a part of the League. “We aren’t gonna include Kara”.

She was gonna be pissed at him but- if the cases were tied, then they could do serious damage to her. They had basically targeted her during that fight, and while Kara was strong (much stronger than him really) Dick wanted to avoid her getting hurt if he could.

Avoid her getting ki-

“And Four’s- yeah” Dick said awkwardly. Garth looked away with a wince and Donna looked down sadly at her hands.

The last time they had seen Four- it had been a disaster. They had messed up and hadn’t seen Four since. Dick didn’t think anyone on Earth had.

“It's going to be harder to convince the League to let us continue the case without Four,” Donna pointed out and Dick sighed.

The other stipulation to them taking the case was that they were accompanied by a League member, and Four had been that League member. Dick had been a bit offended that they had someone who had only been doing the whole Hero thing for less than a month “chaperone” them, but at least Four was in their age range so it didn’t feel like they were getting babysat.

“I think the problem is more if he would wanna work with us again”. They all turned to see Wally leaning against the wall, backpack slung over his shoulder. “Four’s back”.

“What? How do you know?” Dick asked as Wally took a seat next to Garth.

“Uncle Hal and the other Earth Lanterns got back last night, and this morning Four was in Uncle Hal’s kitchen. He’s staying with Uncle Hal until they get his living situation figured out” Wally explained. “But uh, I don't think he’s gonna wanna work with us”.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask” Dick said and then hesitated. “Donna”?

Donna had been the closest one to Four besides Kara. The two of them were always flirting, with lingering touches and smiles shared across the room. Dick had honestly thought they were going to end up dating, which he was honestly happy about since Four was way better than any of Donna’s past partners (which wasn’t very hard unfortunately). Of course with what happened Dick was sure that was over but- well Donna would be the best option out of the five of them.

“I can ask,” Donna said slowly. They made eye contact, and she nodded at him firmly and he dropped it. She was sure about her decision, there was no reason for Dick to keep asking about it.

“I would recommend after Thanksgiving break” Wally said, not looking at any of them. “Don’t jump him. Give him time to settle in”.

“That’s not a bad idea Wally” Dick said and Wally grinned before his eyes widened.

“Oh and he got his Lantern nickname!” Wally said before cackling in delight while the three of them leaned in excitedly. “He’s Torchie now. Cause he’s the Torchbearer of the Green Lanterns”.

Dick smirked while Donna covered her hand with her mouth.

“Better than calling him a number” Garth said with a shrug but Dick could see him fighting laughter.

“Hey uh,” Wally started nervously, and Dick turned to look at him. “Did we talk about Titans West yet”?

Donna and Garth gave Wally a look and Dick sighed. The Titans were one big group that also had subgroups. Titans A was made up of Donna, Dick, Wally, Garth, and Roy while Titans B was made up of Victor, Rachel, Kori, Karen and Gar. But they had four other Titans that were close in age to each other that didn’t have a subgroup and were supposed to be their own but-

“I still don’t think they’re ready” was all Dick said. Garth frowned.

“They’ve been doing good, they just need some more confidence” Garth argued. “Putting them on missions could give them that con-“!

“No” Dick said firmly and Garth’s face went blank. “They still need more time. If we put them out before they’re ready they could get hurt”.

Or worse-

“Welp I guess that’s it for this meeting” Donna said with a smile, her eyes flickering to Dick. “I have some work to do. You know, photography and stuff”.

“Yeah I’m gonna check in with Titans B” Wally said, standing up before disappearing. Donna grabbed her bag and camera from her room before she gave both Dick and Garth a hug, promising she’d be back soon.

Garth opened his mouth to say something but Dick beat him to it.

“How are you doing after- you know?” Dick asked. “If you need more time you can rejoin la-“.

“No, I'm fine! Really” Garth reassured him. “If anything, restarting the case will get my mind off of it. Gives me something to do”.

Dick studied him for a moment, but Garth didn’t seem to be lying so Dick nodded.

“Okay. But if you need anything-“.

“I know,” Garth said with a smile. “I think I’m going for a swim, but I’ll see you later okay”?

“Yeah” Dick said lamely, just watching Garth leave. He should say something, he should apologize, he-

He doesn’t move until a couple of minutes after Garth entered the elevator.

He gets in the elevator and presses the button for the top floor. There was a lot to think about. The Toyman case, how it was connected to the attack, how he could do more to help his teammates since they had all fell apart, how they would get the League to give them the case again and what they would do if they didn’t, what-

“Hi Nightwing” Connor greeted the second Dick stepped off the elevator.

What he would do with Titans West.

Titans West was a complex topic. They originally were supposed to start team activities earlier this year but- yeah. That had really put a pause on everything. The only thing that changed was that they added M’gann onto the team in July when she had first arrived on Earth, but besides that nothing had been decided with the team. Dick was the one who would make decisions about the team, and as much as Dick hated disappointing Jackson, Joey, Connor, and M’gann, they just weren’t ready. What happened had really set them back.

“Hey Connor” Dick greeted with a smile, hoping that would be it-

“Anything new regarding Titans West?” Connor asked and Dick tried not to let his exhaustion show. Good thing he always wore the domino mask.

“Sorry Connor, nothing about that yet. But!” Dick said quickly when the kid looked disappointed. “I can say that we know for sure that Four is back”!

Connor visibly perked up when he heard that. Dick knew he was fond of the fourth Green Lantern, and the two of them continued the Arrow and Lantern friendship tradition that Ollie and Hal started. It was surprising since Roy was closer in age to Torchie than Connor was, but Roy had taken Wally’s side in not liking the new Green Lantern.

“He’s back? Wh-“?

“I can’t talk right now, but let’s talk later okay?” Dick said before stepping around him quickly.

“But Bird-“!

“Oh and he goes by Torchie now!” Dick called over his shoulder as he made his way through the living room and through the kitchen. Connor didn’t follow.

“Hi” Kori greeted from where she sat on the counter. “How did your meeting go”?

“I- as well as it could’ve” Dick admitted as he walked over to her. She pulled him into an embrace and rested her chin on his head, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back. “Garth and I fought, kinda”.

“That’s- unusual” Kori said. “What does kind of mean”?

“It was about Titans West” Dick sighed and Kori hummed in acknowledgment. “I don’t think they’re ready, but he thinks they should be out on the field and- you should’ve seen them, Kori. It was almost like they were afraid to bring up the topic with me- that’s never happened before. It’s the only reason Garth and I didn’t actually fight, but if he hadn’t been hesitant- he shouldn’t have been hesitant”.

Since when have they not been able to talk to each other about everything? Since when had they hesitated to share their opinions with him? Sure on the field they followed orders, but they (usually Roy) would argue with him if they (usually Roy) thought his orders were stupid.

“Bird,” Kori said, getting his attention. “A lot has changed. A lot of bad things have happened to you guys this year- I think nobody wants to make anything worse”.

“I- yeah. I guess so. I just miss how it used to be” Dick told her sadly.

He missed when they were younger, when their biggest worry was math class and if they were all free to have a sleep over that weekend.

“I know. I’m sorry” she said softly. “As for Titans West- whatever you decide, I’m right behind you”.

“Thanks Kori,” Dick said softly, resting his face in the crook of her neck. They stayed like that for a while, until Kori had to leave to train with the rest of Titans B.

He was glad he had her, she was always amazing, but now that she wasn’t here Dick was alone with his thoughts again. But not for long. He felt someone come into the kitchen and sit on the opposite counter behind him. He didn’t have to look to know who it was.

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing? With Titans West” Dick asked softly.

“I think you are. You’re just trying to protect them. No harm in that”.

Dick sighed and relaxed.

“Thanks Little Wing”.

Chapter Text

Earlier That Week (November)

“I know your life recently has been rough,” Hal said, struggling to move forward. “And I know that’s mostly been my fault, and I’m so sorry”.

“What?” The kid sounded taken aback and Hal took another step.

“And I know that I’m still not making things easier for you, and I’m sorry for that too. I know I might not be the best person to do this kid, but there are people who care about you and want you to get back safely” Hal told him, taking another step.

“You don’t understand, I’m all alone”.

That was where his fear was stemming from? Being alone? Hal could fix that easily.

“No you’re not. We Earth Lanterns are a team, a family, you have us no matter what. You have Guy, John, Jess, Simon! You have me! I care about you” Hal told him honestly. The next step was easier and the kid gasped as the landscape changed.

They were still in the same positions, but now they were in a field with a gray sky

“You don’t even know me,” the kid said softly.

“I know enough. I know basically everything you’ve achieved during your time as a Green Lantern, and I’m so incredibly proud of you. You did it all by yourself during our darkest times when even I failed. Parallax is wrong, you are 10 times the Green Lantern I will ever be and you’re stronger than you know” Hal told him as he took another step. “But you’re not alone anymore, and I promise you you’ll never be alone again. I’m sorry for how I hurt you, but let me make it up to you. Let me help you”.

Hal extended himself forward and held out his hand.

“I’ve got you kid, just take my hand” Hal said softly. 

The vines went higher and grew tighter on Hal, and the sour taste once again filled his mouth. He struggled as the vines tried to pull him back, and he was bombarded by voices from both his life and Torchbearer’s but he stayed strong. He couldn’t give up, not now when-

A hand grabbed his.

~

Thursday November 28th, -xxx1 (Present)

KYLE landed next to Hal and powered down his ring, immediately feeling tired when he did. He was still healing, which was annoying, but there was nothing he could do to speed up the process but take it easy apparently.

Hal had been really helpful, which had taken Kyle by surprise. He knew Hal had been through something similar but worse, and he knew Hal had promised that Kyle would never be alone again, but he kinda expected it all to fall apart when they got back to Earth.

But Hal had gone above and beyond to make sure he was okay, to make him feel included. He’s been to Hal’s brother's house twice this week, met his niece and nephew, hung out with the other Earth Lanterns, and was now his plus one to his tradition of hanging out with Barry and Oliver and their families for the holidays.

He made sure Kyle wasn’t alone. He kept his promise.

Kyle had been so used to feeling alone, isolated, since Alex had died. He hadn’t shared his identity with anyone after what happened to her, and that really did put more of a rift between him and other superheroes than he thought it would. And after he left Earth after the whole thing with the Titans, he really thought he would never have a place here again.

Hal and the other Lanterns were changing that.

“Alright, let me give you the rundown” Hal said as he started walking, Kyle quickly following. “Roy doesn’t like Ollie very much for reasons. They try not to even be in the same room unless it’s a League or a mission thing, and if they are they tend to ignore each other unless they have to. Don’t mention it and don’t try to talk to one about the other”.

Kyle knew that Oliver and Roy had some kind of relationship before something bad happened, but that was the extent of his knowledge on it. Roy didn’t talk about Oliver, but when he did it was short but negative. And Oliver always looked sad when talking about Roy, always positive.

It was none of Kyle’s business. He probably wouldn’t talk to either at this activity anyways, neither of them liked him much and hadn’t been afraid to say it to his face.

“Barry is married to Iris, who is Wally’s biological aunt” Hal continued and Kyle nodded. “They have twin two year olds named Don and Dawn. I don’t know why they’re named like that, don’t ask. I don’t know if Wally’s girlfriend Linda will be here but don’t worry she’s really nice. She studies computer science at the same University as Wally”.

Kyle wondered if Barry and Iris would dislike him too. They were bound to share Wally’s feelings or take his side, they were his aunt and uncle. He had nothing to go off of for them since Barry had become not “dead” a little bit after Kyle left Earth to restore Oa in September, so Kyle had never met him or his wife. But he was friends with Hal so maybe he would at least pretend to be nice and his wife would follow his lead? And Wally’s girlfriend, the one the rest of Titans A would tease him about, would probably not like Kyle either.

Wait, why did he agree to come here again?

“Jay and Max are older speedsters, but they are nice. Jay is married to Joan, and Helen is Max’s daughter” Hal continued. “You know Dinah and Connor. She’s married to Ollie, and Connor is Ollie’s son from a previous relationship that he just met this year”.

Dinah and Connor would be his saving graces. Dinah had always been kind to him, and had been the only one who didn’t dislike him or accuse him of taking Hal’s place when he first joined the Justice League. She gave good advice and was the one who introduced him to the two remaining former Earth Green Lantern Corps members at the time, Guy and John. Kyle would forever be grateful for how nice she was.

Connor was also super nice. Most of the information Kyle had received about everyone in the League Database he had received from Connor. It was actually crazy how nice Connor had been to him despite several people, including Connor’s own father, disliking Kyle and telling Connor it was a bad idea to try to get close.

“Okay, yeah” Kyle said, feeling a bit better remembering that Dinah and Connor would be there.

“Worst case scenario, you just stick with me,” Hal reassured him, wrapping an arm around Kyle’s shoulders and squeezing. Kyle let himself relax a bit. “Wally and Roy won’t bother you. Even if they wanted to, they wouldn’t try anything in front of Iris and Dinah”.

Kyle snickered.

They stopped in front of a town house at the end of its row. It was two stories and an olive green color with a red door. There was a little space that could be counted as a front porch with two scooters, a red and a blue one, that were made for toddlers.

“You ready kid?” Hal asked. Kyle stared at the house before turning to Hal with a soft smile.

“Yeah. Let’s go”.

It only took two seconds after Hal knocked for the door to swing open. In the doorway was a tall man with blond hair and blue eyes, dressed in a blue sweater and jeans. The second he saw Hal, his face lit up in joy and the two hugged.

“There you are! Back from your adventures in space?” the man asked before he saw Kyle. For a split second, Kyle saw confusion in the man’s eyes, but it was quickly replaced with the exact same joy that had been directed at Hal.

But now it was directed at him.

“Oh hey! I don’t think we’ve met” the man said, reaching a hand out. “I’m Barry Allen”.

Kyle had only seen Barry in pictures, but in every picture Kyle had seen Barry had been in full uniform so Kyle didn’t know what he looked like until now. He didn’t expect this much genuine joy to be directed at him.

“Barry this is Torchie, the fourth Green Lantern” Hal said and Kyle quickly reached out to shake Barry’s hand firmly, a bit embarrassed he forgot to in the first place.

“Hi” Kyle croaked out and winced at the pain in his throat. Still not healed, and he had talked a lot at Jim’s house earlier that day. Barry immediately looked concerned, but that didn’t make sense-

“Hi”! Kyle looked down to see two sets of big blue eyes looking at him. Two very small blonde toddlers stood at his feet, both wearing a lighter shade of blue than Barry and giggling at him.

“Uh” Kyle said, but before he could do anything the boy wrapped his arms around Kyle’s leg and latched on.

“Don, don’t do that” Barry said, immediately going to pull the little boy off of him. Don started to cry and Barry winced as he continued to pull the boy off. “Sorry Torchie”.

“It’s fine, really” Kyle said, even though he had no idea what to do and was kinda panicking. So he reached down and pulled Don into his arms. Don immediately settled down and leaned against Kyle’s shoulder.

Kyle tried not to think how his body ached even just picking up a small child. He also ignored Hal taking out his phone and taking a picture of him and Don.

“I can grab him if it’s a problem” Barry said again and Kyle shot him what he hoped was a convincing smile. He could use Don as a social shield at least.

“It’s fine,” Kyle reassured him.

“If you're sure then” Barry said before waving them in. “Come in, come in”!

They entered the house as Barry picked up Dawn, the little girl giggling as he did. Several people popped their heads in to look at them and looked surprised, and Kyle immediately felt self conscious. Why were they confused? He quickly pulled the cap lower, really hoping it was hiding his face well enough. 

“Green Lantern!” a familiar voice said happily and Kyle immediately relaxed as he was enveloped in a warm and firm hug. At one point he thought he would never feel that hug again. Or well, he thought he would never feel any hug again.

Dinah gave him a warm smile when she pulled back, blue eyes shining. She wore a black cropped jacket, cargo pants that were the same color, and a red bodysuit. She scanned him with her eyes, frowning at the bandages that peaked out from the collar of the shirt he borrowed from Hal or the one around his left hand that peaked out from Hal’s jacket. She quickly smiled again, just as genuine as Barry’s, when she looked at his face again.

“I didn’t know you would be here”!

“I- you didn’t?” Kyle asked, turning to Hal. Hal looked confused.

“I said I was bringing him,” Hal argued. A dark skinned woman with dark curly wearing a dress the same shade of blue as Barry’s sweater raised an eyebrow.

“Actually Hal, you just said you were, and I quote, “Finally cashing in my plus one”. I think we all assumed you meant Carol” she said and Kyle felt confused. Who was Carol? And why did Hal wince when her name was said?

“But I’m so happy to have you here! I’ve been wanting to meet you, Wally talks about you all the time! Oh, I’m Iris by the way” Iris introduced herself with a genuine smile.

“A great opportunity for introductions” Hal said easily, gently putting his hands on Kyle’s shoulders, guiding him out of the entryway and into the living room. “Everyone, Earth’s fourth Green Lantern, Torchie! Yes, that is his official Lantern nickname”.

“I'm Don!” the small child in his arms chirped happily.

“Me too!” Dawn giggled from Barry’s arms.

“Correct” Hal said with a flourish of his arms and the twins giggled. Hal then began gesturing to people as he spoke. “Torchie, I know you remember Dinah, Ollie, Connor, Wally, and Roy. That’s Jay and his wife Joan, and that’s Max and his daughter Helen”.

“Hi” Kyle rasped again, waving. He refused to look too much at Wally, Roy, or Oliver. He got greetings and warm smiles in return from the others.

“Wally” Iris said and Wally jumped, looking confused before his eyes widened in realization.

“Oh, right!” Wally laughed awkwardly before taking an Asian girl around their age by the hand and leading her a bit closer to Kyle. “Torchie, this is my girlfriend Linda”.

Linda had straight black hair and dark eyes, and Kyle didn't know if she was short or just standing next to six foot whatever Wally. She wore a long sleeve purple shirt and jeans.

“Hi Torchie. Wally talks about you a lot” she said with a smile. Wally looked embarrassed.

“Funny, I was gonna say the same thing but about you, but I have a feeling he doesn’t talk about us in the same way” Kyle said and Wally looked even more embarrassed. Linda laughed.

“I would hope not,” she responded, nudging Wally who looked away. She gave Kyle a look that told him she had accomplished her goal, and he immediately decided he liked her.

“Good job,” Don said happily, patting Kyle twice on the head, and several people in the room laughed. Kyle couldn’t help but smile too.

“You came back” Connor said as he approached Kyle, everyone in the house falling back into their conversations. Dinah stayed too, and Kyle could see Oliver watching them from afar as he greeted Hal. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t”.

“Yeah sorry. It was- it was rough” Kyle explained lamely. The 14 year old’s expression went serious.

“Was it the thing with Titans A? Is that why you didn’t come back” Connor asked and Kyle winced.

Connor didn’t even know the extent of what happened, he just walked in on the tail end of it. But it wasn’t- it was something else.

“No,” Kyle said honestly. “I just got really busy in space helping rebuild the Corps. I also made some friends”.

He refused to talk about how he left because he felt like he didn’t belong, and instead began to tell them about Sodam, Sora, and Tu, and all of the stupid little adventures they had (but kid friendly. He was holding a toddler still).

When Kyle had left Earth, he used his powers that he got from Ion to basically “restart” Oa, freeing the rest of the Guardians from a coma-like state and rebooting the Central Battery, which had allowed the rings to start working again. Many former Green Lanterns had returned to active duty, but some had either decided to retire or had died due to whatever circumstances they were in when their rings stopped working. That led to a massive recruiting effort, giving them around 4800 Rookies and 2400 Returning Lanterns. Give or take.

The big problem was that the Corps hadn’t had that many rookies at the same time in a long time, and not every Lantern that came back was experienced enough to help train them, so the rookies had been divided into groups of four. While Kyle wasn’t technically a rookie with all he went through since he got his ring 3ish month before in August, he had never officially been trained so he was also put into a rookie group. And that was where he had met Sodam, Sora, and Tu.

They were good friends, not treating him weirdly like a lot of other Lanterns did just because he was the Torchbearer, dragging him to parties off world at night, training and getting into shenanigans together during the day- they had saved his life.

They were much easier to talk about then the thing with Titans A, the war with the Sinestro Corps, or why he hadn’t come back to Earth. Because he had come back to Earth, just not to see any of them. He had made visits to only his mom, staying with her instead of going back to his apartment since he knew that Donna, Guy, John, Dinah, Wally and Connor knew where his apartment was.

Avoiding everyone was so much easier than facing his problems head on. But now avoiding people wasn’t an option.

Connor and Dinah seemed interested in the stupidity he and his friends got up to, asking questions and laughing at the funnier parts. Even Don was interested, echoing words Kyle would say and nodded as if he were adding to the story. It was kind of cute!

Then it got not cute.

“Hat!” Don said happily while Kyle was explaining Sora’s medical education and how it was different from Earth’s to Dinah and Connor, before making a grab for Kyle’s cap.

Kyle was quick to turn his head away in alarm, but instead of feeling the hat disappear, he felt Don disappear. For a second he thought that he had dropped Don, but before he could panic, he heard Barry speak.

“Don, you can not just pull things off of people like that” Barry said and Kyle looked over to see Barry now carrying Don. The child burst into tears, reaching back for Kyle, but Barry looked unamused. “We talked about this before, and every time I tell you not to, you do this”.

“That was close,” Hal said, putting a hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “Good thing Barry and Iris always keep an eye on the kids. And that Barry has superspeed”.

Kyle nodded, pulling his hat down a bit lower on his face. Barry took a still crying Don upstairs while Dawn, who was in Wally’s arms, waved bye to her brother.

“Come on. We who are 21 and older are gonna go to the kitchen” Hal said with a grin and Connor groaned.

“Uncle Hal, you can’t just take him!” Connor complained and Hal grinned.

“Sorry kiddo, when you turn 21 you can partake in this right of passage. For now you, Wally, Linda, and Roy can hang out with Dawn. Or the old people” Hal cackled, loud enough for Wally and Roy to hear. Roy flipped him off, but there was amusement in his eyes.

Kyle guessed this was like a tradition or inside joke or something.

He let himself be led to the kitchen by Hal, Dinah following, and he was quickly given a drink that he guessed was alcoholic.

“You’re old enough to drink right” Iris said and Kyle nodded.

“Yep, 21” Kyle lied easily as he took a sip. Strong. Good.

Kyle actually recently turned 20 in August, but he’s been telling everyone he was 21 instead. It had started when he joined the League. They had thankfully not asked him while he was under the lasso of truth, but he had to be 21 to join. He was gonna say no at first and be honest, but then he remembered that Wally hadn’t been old enough to join. And at that point, to be able to one up Wally? Of course he was gonna join.

Had it been the best idea? Not when he was going through it, but knowing what he knew now he would’ve made the same decision.

It was also easier to keep his identity a secret if they didn’t know his actual age. And even though he trusted them now much more than he did before, he still just couldn’t reveal his identity. Alex and his Mom knew his identity and they were both dead. He knew it was dumb but-

Not right now. He needed a minute.

“So how was your space adventures?” Oliver asked, grinning at Hal. Hal looked unimpressed.

“You know I shouldn’t say anything until the meeting on Monday,” Hal said. Oliver rolled his eyes as Barry walked in, no Don in sight. Kyle glanced over to the living room to see that Don was now on Roy’s shoulders.

“I don’t mean like that! Anything cool, anything new?” Oliver asked. Hal thought about it and then shrugged. Kyle but his lip to keep from laughing.

“Hal, your rank?” Kyle said and Hal snapped his fingers, pointing at Kyle.

“Right! I’m Honor Guard now” Hal said. “Well, not just me. Torchie, Guy, and John are too”.

“That’s great Hal! Is that where you were before” Dinah asked. Hal shook his head.

“Nope! Higher” Hal said before explaining what Honor Guard was while Barry got himself a drink.

“So your Honor Lantern Jordan now” Iris said, an eyebrow raised in amusement. Hal nodded. “And you’re Honor Lantern Torchie”?

“No, my rank is Torchbearer,” Kyle said. 

“They made a whole new rank and title for Torchbearer. Usually Senior Lantern is the highest most of us will get, with a few making it to Honor Guard. Torchie is a rank above us, but he gets to do Honor Guard stuff too” Hal said. Oliver gave Kyle a look like he was plotting something, and that made Kyle uncomfortable.

Couldn’t he plot with like, Barry or something?

“So you out rank Hal” Oliver said slowly and Kyle nodded. Oliver grinned. “So you can boss him around? Make him do push ups”?

“I mean- yeah” Kyle said. Hal was glaring at Oliver, but Dinah and Barry looked intrigued. Iris was laughing behind her hand.

“If he gets too annoying Torchie, don’t be afraid to make him do push ups” Dinah teased. “Minimum 200”.

“I can clearly see I’m not your favorite Green Lantern anymore” Hal said dramatically before downing his drink and going to refill it. “Not even trying to hide it”.

“I never said that,” Dinah said with a smile, winking at Kyle.

“You hugged Torchie when you saw him again. You threw me over your shoulder and onto a marble floor when you saw me again” Hal argued, but Kyle could clearly see he wasn’t mad.

“One, you deserved it,” Dinah said easily. “Two, I gave you a hug after”!

“These two” Oliver said jokingly, nudging Kyle softly. Kyle got uncomfortable again.

There was nothing wrong with Oliver. Kyle wasn’t afraid of him or anything, it was just- it was weird. At least Kyle hadn’t met Barry and Iris before this, but he knew and worked with Oliver. Oliver had really not liked him, and now he was being nice?

Kyle realized that he wasn’t doing a good job hiding how uncomfortable he was too late. Oliver looked- ashamed?

“Hey, Torchie” Oliver started awkwardly and Kyle immediately got more uncomfortable. “I’m sorry about everything that happened before. I shouldn't have taken that out on you”.

“It’s fine,” Kyle said quickly, waving him off. He was starting to feel suffocated in the kitchen. Dinah was nodding at Oliver in approval while Hal looked confused. Kyle did not want to get into how his time was with the League at first with Hal so he quickly added “No reason to bring up the past right? Keep moving forward?”

“Of course” Barry agreed quickly with a smile and Hal narrowed his eyes before putting a pleasant expression. He proceeded to launch into the stupidest story about Oliver, and Kyle tried to laugh along but he was still really uneasy.

It took him way too long to realize that the uneasy feeling didn’t stem from Ollie. It was happening again.

Kyle did his best not to attract attention to himself, playing with the cup in his hand but not drinking anything. He focused on breathing, what people were saying, doing his best to remain calm.

He would be fine. He was okay.

“Got anymore ice?” Oliver asked. Iris nodded.

“Yeah let me get another bag from the freezer” Iris said and she reached for the fridge-

“I’ll be back” was all Kyle said as he put the cup down somewhere and walked away.

He had no idea where he was going, he just left. He needed to get out, he needed- oh God, he needed to breathe. It wasn’t until he felt a shock of cold that he was able to take a gasping breath, suddenly realizing he was outside.

The cold then made things worse. He was reminded of yellow, that voice in his head, what he saw himself- his body do, chains, the uneven dripping, pain, opening the fridge, that hospital room, the knife, the voices of people he knew in his head saying cruel things-

Kyle couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breath, he was going to d-

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay” someone said. Kyle shook his head because he wasn’t, he- “Yes you are. Just breath”.

Kyle shook his head again because he couldn’t breath. He couldn’t breath and he needed help, he didn’t wanna d-

“Give me your hand”. Kyle shook his head, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. If he let go, he would- “Let me help you. Give me your hand. I promise you’ll be okay”.

“You can do it” another voice encouraged. So Kyle forced himself to let go and extended his hand wildly in a random direction. Someone grabbed his hands gently, but all Kyle could think about was how the Yellow Lanterns had grabbed him and held him down before Ion was ripped out of him and-

“It’s okay, it’s okay” the first voice said when Kyle tried to pull his hand back. His hand was gently guided to touch something- someone. “Breathe with me, I know it’s hard but you can do it”.

Kyle did his best to match their pace, and at first he couldn’t, but then it got easier. The second person was talking, talking to him, but Kyle couldn’t pay too much attention to it. The noise it created in the background was soothing though, and soon Kyle realized that he was sitting on grass. 

He was in some kind of- like a play house? It was made out of wood with windows and a door and- he could see dolls on the floor and trucks and-

Kyle followed his own arm to see Wally holding it against his chest, breathing deliberate and slow. He was sitting next to Kyle but wasn’t looking at him. Kyle looked to his other side to see Roy, also not looking at him but still speaking.

“What-“ Kyle tried, but he didn’t know what he wanted to ask. What happened? Where am I? What are you doing here? Why are you helping-

“You casually walked out of the kitchen and went into the backyard, so Roy and I followed you” Wally said. “You were having a panic attack so we pulled you in here”.

Fuck.

“Does everyone know”?

“No. Maybe Uncle Hal, but-“.

“They think Oliver made you uncomfortable and that you needed space” Roy interrupted with a laugh. Well, that was better than them knowing he had a panic attack. The second one in a week. Hopefully he didn’t ruin the-

“Did- did something trigger you?” Wally asked. “I can maybe do something about it”?

“Yes? No? I don’t know. I- I’ve been feeling- uneasy and fragile recently, and now things that don’t usually set me off do? I don’t know, it’s stupid. I’m not like this” Kyle admitted, frustrated. He wiped at his eyes, hoping he could look like he wasn’t crying.

Ever since he had been forced to host Parallax, he had been feeling- unsteady? Hal said it happened to him too, that it was a side effect of hosting Parallax- Kyle didn’t think he ever had a panic attack before Parallax, he never felt so constantly uneasy before Parallax so Hal wasn’t lying.

But why did Hal seem ok, while Kyle was struggling?

“I uh, I’ve had panic attacks too” Wally said softly. Kyle glanced at him and he kept going. “It’s been a while since the last one, but it used to happen often”.

“Uncle Hal had them after Parallax” Roy said softly. “Sometimes things happen on the job. It’s okay, it’s not your fault”.

Kyle didn't know if Roy was talking about something specific, but the option on what it could be made Kyle want to throw up, so he didn’t dwell on it and just nodded.

“You enjoying the event though?” Wally asked. “We weren’t expecting you to be here, but I know my Aunt Iris would want you to have a good time”.

“Oh yeah she’s nothing like you” Kyle joked weakly, trying to keep the mood light. He failed.

“So funny” Wally spat, glaring at him.

“Really dude?” Roy asked and Kyle felt confused.

“What?” Kyle asked, looking between them. Wally pointed to his arm with a raised eyebrow and it took Kyle a stupidly long time to realize what was happening. “Oh! I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it like she’s nice and you’re a dick. Sorry, I know that sucks. I look nothing like my mom did”.

He and his mom had been opposites basically. Her skin was fair and her hair light brown while his skin was darker and his hair black. The most prominent thing he had gotten from her was his green eyes.

“Did?” Roy asked. Kyle’s heart hurt.

“You didn’t know? I thought Donna would’ve told you?” Kyle said and they both shook their heads. “Oh. Yeah. My mom died in October”.

“I- I’m so sorry” Wally stammered while Roy looked away.

“It’s- it’s not fine but- yeah” Kyle finished lamely, feeling like a loser. He didn’t think he could think too much about Mam on Thanksgiving though, not when she was gone and he’d never see her again. “You don’t need to apologize”.

Suddenly Kyle knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

“Look, what happened before you left- I’m so sorry” Wally said. Kyle felt Roy nod next to him.

“I’m sorry too” Roy said, and he honestly sounded genuine. They both did but- Kyle didn’t know how to feel about it. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you- especially with what I said” Wally continued and Kyle couldn’t help but cut him off.

“Then why did you say it?” Kyle asked. Wally stared at him, surprised, but didn’t say anything. Roy was looking between them with a blank face. Kyle nodded.

“I’m heading back inside” Kyle said, pulling his arm back from where Wally was still holding it.

“Torchie, wait!” Wally said as he scrambled to his feet, but despite the fact that he had super speed, he was too slow to stop Kyle from walking out of the little wooden house.

Kyle was stupid. He shouldn't have conversed with them at all, but he just had to keep talking and tell them things about himself didn’t he? Oh God, he had a panic attack in front of them he remembered suddenly, his face burning. Kyle felt humiliated, felt so stupid but-

He didn’t feel angry. 

He should’ve felt angry about what happened with the Titans, about Wally’s non answer, but he wasn’t. Why? He had avoided thinking about what happened for so long, but shouldn’t he be angry?

Hal was waiting by the sliding glass door with Barry. As Kyle approached, Barry walked away.

“Everything okay?” Hal asked. “I didn’t know something happened with you and Ollie-“.

“It wasn’t Ollie, I promise. But uh, the fridge-“ Kyle shrugged and Hal nodded. 

“It gets easier to handle. But the first few days? My emotions were a wreck” Hal reassured him and Kyle nodded, hating feeling so weak.

They walked inside together, back to the kitchen, where the others immediately looked at Kyle in concern and he hated it.

“Everything okay?” Dinah asked, but before Kyle could say anything, Hal spoke.

“You know how it is when you get back from space after a long period of time. There’s a lot of people here he needed a minute” Hal said and Kyle immediately nodded, thankful for the excuse. “Then Wally and Roy showed him the play house”.

They all seemed to thankfully buy the excuse, and they fell back into a warm conversation. 

Soon it was time to eat. There were tables set up outside to accommodate everyone, and the sheer amount of food was insane.

“There’s like 6 people here with a hyper metabolism” Connor said when he saw Kyle staring at all the food. “Yes, even the twins eat a lot. Be prepared to be horrified”!

Because there were so many of them, they served themselves buffet style. Kyle went right after Dinah, and at one point she stopped, examined him, and put extra servings of food on his plate.

Okay so he he might’ve gotten a bit thin-

He sat between Hal and Connor at dinner, and right across from Jay. Jay had stopped to look at him for a moment.

“Alan talks about you sometimes,” Jay said. Kyle blinked in surprise, though Jay probably didn’t see it. He didn’t know Alan and Jay knew each other.

“Oh. Good things I hope?” Kyle asked. Jay smiled.

“Excellent things”.

The rest of the event had gone very well. Max and Jay were super nice, Kyle and Linda talked about University for a bit and she thought it was cool he went to USC, and Connor stuck by him the entire time and acted as a buffer that made things easier.

It was- it was nice. This was supposed to be his first holiday season where he didn’t have anyone, but they welcomed him when they didn’t even know his name.

“Did you have a good time despite everything?” Hal asked as they flew back to California.

“Yeah. It was rough in the beginning and then the- but yeah I had a good time” Kyle said honestly. Hal grinned, doing a little spin in the air.

“Good, because there’s Christmas and New Years coming up, and you're invited to those too,” Hal said. “Ollie, Barry, and the ladies insisted. Unless you have other plans”.

“No other plans,” Kyle said with a smile. “Thanks Hal”.

~

Monday December 2nd, -xxx1

DONNA couldn’t find Torchie anywhere. If she hadn’t known that he didn’t know she was looking for him, she would’ve thought he was avoiding her.

He had every right to avoid her after what happened, but she missed him. She really thought they had a connection, that they were heading towards something deeper, but she screwed it up like she always did.

Nice people like him always got hurt around her. That’s why her only “successful” relationships were with people like Terry.

She pushed her feelings of loss for Torchie aside. They had a case to finish, and she couldn’t let her sadness get in the way. She had looked for him everywhere she could think of like Hal’s apartment and Radu’s, even checked his apartment multiple times, but if he was there he didn’t answer.

They had three days until the next toy store opening, and Dick had said if Donna couldn’t find him by today, then she would just have to ask the League if they could take the case back anyways. So, it was time to ask the League.

“A-17: Troia” the system rang out as she stepped out of the zeta. There was no one else in the zeta room, so she quickly left to go to the main meeting room. She had to hurry to catch them before the meeting they had scheduled today, but she couldn’t come too early since they wouldn’t all be there if she did.

And she had been hoping she would find Torchie.

She was surprised to see the Earth Lanterns waiting outside the main meeting room in uniform. All of them. Including Torchie.

He was standing in between Guy Gardner and one of the newer Lanterns, Jessica Cruz. He had a soft smile on his face, looking amused as he listened to whatever Guy was talking about while Jessica rolled her eyes with her own smile. In a chair behind Jessica was the other newer Green Lantern, Simon Baz, and sitting across from him was John Stewart. Hal, who was sitting on the floor at their feet looking bored, was the first one to see her.

“Hey Donna” Hal waved with a smile and Torchie froze, Donna immediately feeling guilty because she knew why.

“Hey Hal! Other Lanterns” Donna greeted and received several greetings in response.

Donna had known Hal since she was 13ish maybe? Titans A had formed about a year after the Justice League did, and they had been so young when that happened, so they always had the League looking after them in some way shape or form. Diana, Ollie, Batman, Uncle Arthur and Uncle Barry were of course the ones who were the most active, since they were each connected to one of them in a way. But people like Uncle Clark, Auntie Dinah, J’onn, and Hal were always around to help out.

It was almost like the League had raised them together, being as young and inexperienced with children as they were. They had some good times together but that dynamic had cracked severely with what happened between Ollie and Roy, got worse when Barry died, and had shattered completely earlier this year. Donna hated how everything fell apart so quickly. She had always thought that the League was a strong family like the Titans, but apparently she was wrong. With everything that happened this year, would the Titans-

She pushed that ugly and horrible thought away.

“What are you up to?” John asked. Torchie wouldn’t look at her, and she felt bad cornering him like this in front of his friends, but she had to.

“I was actually wondering if I could talk to Torchie before I talk to the League?” Donna asked, eyes darting to Torchie who was now looking at her, eyebrows high on his forehead. She expected him to say no, and she would respect that-

“Uh yeah. Sure” Torchie said before turning to the other Green Lanterns. “I’ll be right back”.

He followed her deeper into the Hall, to a smaller meeting room off to the side. She closed the door behind her as he went to one of the white boards in the room and took a green marker in his hand.

“What’s up Donna? Everything okay” Torchie asked, as if this was a casual conversation and nothing bad had happened. He was drawing something on the white board, and she didn’t stop him.

The last time she had seen him was when his mother died. She could still remember his cries of agony, how she held him in her arms as he wailed and- Donna needed to stay focused.

“I wanted to say a couple of things,” Donna started. “First of all and the most important, I am so sorry for what happened. You were right, we should’ve-“.

“Donna” he cut her off, not stopping his drawing. “It’s- it’s not okay but- I know things were difficult then and still are now. None of you meant to hurt me with that, you didn’t even know the whole story and were trying to get things to go back to the way they were. Sometimes I wish I could make things go back to the way they were- but I forgive you, all of you, for it. I should be apologizing too, I didn’t have to get so- I didn’t have to run off like that and I shouldn’t have blamed you guys for something that wasn’t your fault. We’re adults, we could’ve talked it out”.

“We could’ve. But you had every right to feel the way you felt” Donna insisted. “You don’t have to apologize to me for that”.

This time he paused his drawing, looking like he was struggling for a moment, before he nodded and continued

“Okay. Thanks for apologizing. But- you weren't looking for me just to apologize”.

“I- no” Donna agreed. She wished there was more time until Schott’s next event, time for her to even try to make it up to Torchie and not even have to bring up the case. But there wasn’t. “It was the most important part though. But, Nightwing wants to restart the case”.

This time he turned around completely to face her, looking confused.

“Restart? I didn’t realize the case ever stopped” Torchie said.

“The League put it on pause. There was a war in Atlantis, and Garth had to go. And you left, so that was two people gone” Donna explained. Kyle frowned as he recapped the marker.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think that me leaving the way I did would affect the case” Torchie apologized.

“Like I said, you had every right to feel the way you felt. I wouldn’t want to be around us either, not after that” Donna told him. Torchie hummed in acknowledgment swaying in place a bit as they just stared at one another. She wanted to hug him so badly, but she didn’t think he would let her. Her holding him after his mother had died was only because he had completely broken down.

“Well, I should get going. Um, League meeting soon” Torchie said awkwardly, capping his marker. “Good luck with your case”.

Donna continued to stare at him as he pointed awkward finger guns in her directions. They never were like this before, awkward and full of tension, but-

“Wait, you’re not gonna help us with the case?” Donna asked, surprised. He didn’t have to help, but she thought he would. That’s the type of person he is.

“Uh, no. But say hi to Titans West for me” Torchie said before giving her a stilted smile. He rocked on his heels again, hands behind his back, before he set the marker down on the table and walked out of the room.

Donna stood there for a second, staring at where he had been. She wanted to run after him, persuade him to join the case again. She knew him, she knew all she had to do was tell him the League wouldn’t let them take the case again without him and he would rejoin without a second thought, because that’s the kind of person he is. He was a good person who wanted to help people, and he would drop everything to help someone else.

But she didn’t, because he deserved to be able to say no, and he deserved to have his choice respected because they- no, she had hurt him. Actions had consequences and these were hers.

She was going to leave, but the white board caught her eye. She knew he was an artist, it was his job and his passion. He had shared several of his pieces with her, and had even sat next to her one time and let her watch him draw. His art never ceased to amaze her, and that hadn’t changed in the months they had been apart.

On the white board was six different people, five in a circle and one in the middle. He chose a less realistic and simple style this time, but she could easily tell he drew himself and his fellow Green Lanterns. She was surprised to see that he drew himself in the middle instead of someone else, but the six of them were all happy in the drawing. None of them had masks, including Torchie, but because the drawing wasn’t realistic it wasn’t like she could pick out any identifying features.

She wondered if he left the mask off on purpose, or if she didn’t give him time to add it.

She turns off the room light and leaves, not bothering to erase the whiteboard. She didn’t think she could if she wanted to. Instead she walks back to the main meeting room, ignoring how the Lanterns stop talking when she walks by. She doesn’t look at them, because she can’t look at him.

She’s guilty.

“Donna! I didn’t know you would be here today” Diana greeted when she saw Donna walk in.

She was sitting in her seat at the League table, on the right hand of Uncle Clark, who sat at the center of the table. Next to her sat Uncle Arthur, next to him J’onn, and next to him Aunt Dinah. On Uncle Clark’s left was Batman, next to him was Uncle Barry, next to him was Hal, and next to him was Ollie. They all looked at her when she entered, but none of them seemed annoyed, since the door had been open which meant they hadn’t started any meetings.

That rule had been ingrained in her when she was younger. You could come in as long as the door was open, if it was closed you could only come in for an emergency.

“I didn’t expect to stop by if I’m being honest,” Donna admitted. “Can I talk to you guys real quick”?

“We have a debriefing with the Green Lanterns in 7 minutes” Diana said. Donna smiled.

“I’ll take less time than that,” Donna assured her.

“Then you may proceed”. Donna closed the door behind her and approached the table.

“Titans A is ready to restart the Toyman case”. That got several frowns.

“The war in Atlantis has ended, so if Garth feels like he is ready to rejoin you, then I won’t stop him” Uncle Arthur said. He looked sad, and Donna didn’t want to think about why. She had already sat with Garth as he cried over it.

“Have the other members agreed” Diana asked and Donna nodded.

“Yeah we had a meeting about it before Thanksgiving. The five of us are ready” Donna assured. Uncle Clark raised an eyebrow.

“Five? What about Kara” he asked and Donna forced herself not to react. But she was saved from not having to answer that question when she was asked another.

“And what about Torchie?” Aunt Dinah asked and Uncle Hal looked confused. He didn’t have his mask on, so it made it much easier to read his face.

“Torchie’s part of this case”?

“Donna,” Diana said. “The agreement was that the five of you could take this case as long as Gre- Torchie and Kara did it with you”.

“Diana, we aren’t children anymore. This is an easy case, we can handle it. We’ve done more difficult things with less experience” Donna tried.

“I have to agree with Donna” Uncle Barry said, and Donna didn’t her best not to smile. “They aren’t our kid sidekicks anymore, they are becoming our equals. Maybe they are already our equals. We can’t coddle them forever”.

“They’re all legal adults now” Uncle Hal continued, because he was cool. “We-“.

“With everything that happened this past year, you five know why things have changed” Batman said, as if Hal hadn’t even said anything. Hal rolled his eyes and looked at Donna with an expression that said he was so over this behavior. Donna was surprised he didn’t fight back, but he probably had to save his energy for whatever meeting the Lanterns were about to have. “And you agreed to these rules”.

“Maybe we can put it to a vote,” J’onn suggested.

And they did. Uncle Barry, Hal, and J’onn voted for them to be able to take the case, but it wasn’t enough.

“I’m sorry Donna, but we can’t allow you to continue the case without Kara or Torchie” Diana said as Donna attempted to process this.

“And the next store opening is too close. We’ll be handing the case off to someone else” Batman said and Donna’s eyes widened in shock. “In a few months time we will reevaluate Titans A’s ability to return to the field as a team, until then you are all still to stay off the field unless you are under the supervision of a League member”.

Handing the case off to someone else? Stay off the field unless they had supervision-?!

Donna turned on her heel and left without saying another word. The second she left the meeting room she slammed right into someone. She looked up just in time to see Torchie stumble back and be caught by Guy.

“Sorry” she said quickly, hoping she didn’t hurt him. She was Amazonian after all, bumping into her was more like bumping into a brick wall.

“It’s okay, I was standing too close to the door,” he said, and then tilted his head. She never really minded that he kept his identity a secret, but it was times like these she wished he took the mask off so she could read his expression. “You okay”?

“Yeah” she lied quickly. “I’ll see you around”.

She didn’t wait for his response as she quickly went back to the zeta room to zeta to Titans Tower.

It was all so frustrating! They weren’t children anymore and yet the League still treated them like they were. It didn’t matter how long they’ve been doing this, how strong opponents they’ve beaten were, what they accomplished- the League would always see them as the small children they were when they started. There had been a time where she thought they saw Titans A as there equals, that they treated them like adults and didn’t babysit them for every mission, but then with what happened-

Titans B were never treated like this, they all were in their teens when they started and they didn’t have the same attachments to the League that Titans A had. Titans West was a mixed bag, but they didn’t even get a chance to start yet. Donna understood the League wanting to protect them, but they were old enough to protect themselves now.

“A-17: Troia”.

She made her way to the top floor of Titans Tower, where things like the common and recreational areas, the dining room and the kitchen were. She exited the elevator and saw Roy lounging on the couch. Nobody else seemed to be around, but she was pretty sure Joey, Jackson, Connor, M’gann, Karen, and Wally were at school and the others were at work or doing something else.

“How did it go?” Roy asked, sitting up quickly with a grin. Her frustration must’ve shown on her face because his grin was quick to disappear. “They said no, didn’t they”?

“It’s so frustrating, Roy! They still think we’re small children. I know they don’t want something bad to happen to us, but we’ve been doing this for years! We know the risks, we have the experience! We can take Schott if things go south” Donna ranted as she sat on the couch next to Roy.

“Why’d they even give us the case if they won’t let us finish it?” Roy said angrily. Donna sighed.

“They won’t let us keep going if we don’t have Torchie and Kara onboard” Donna explained. Roy rolled his eyes.

“Then we’ll tell Bird to reinclude Kara again! I know they had Kryptonite the last time, but now that we know that it could happen we can keep an eye out” Roy said and Donna looked away. “Donna”?

“Kara isn’t the problem Roy” Donna said. “Torchie isn’t going to be rejoining us”.

“He’s not? But I was so sure he- do you want me to get him to join us?” Roy asked. “I could-“!

“No! He’s allowed to make his own decisions, Roy. I made a mistake, this is the consequences of my actions”.

A hand grabbed hers and she looked up to meet Roy’s eyes, his expression serious.

“We made a mistake Donna, not just you. The five of us are in this together, whether any of us like it or not” Roy said. He stood, and she allowed herself to be pulled up. “Now come on, let’s get some ice cream and set a meeting for later today. We gotta figure out our next steps”.

She smiled as he led her into the kitchen.

Later that day, the five of them sat in the common area of their floor of Titans Tower.

“We should just do the case anyways” Roy said after Donna finished explaining what happened.

“This is an official League case Roy, even though it’s small. They are gonna put someone else on” Garth reminded. “We’d not only have to go around the League but a whole other team”.

“Why can’t the League just put Torchie back on the case?” Wally asked, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

“This isn’t a life or death situation Wally. The League’s not gonna force him to do something they see as a favor” Donna said, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice. They basically made Torchie their babysitter, but they didn’t need him to complete the case. She would’ve loved for him to rejoin, but they could do it without him.

“Then let’s just ask him to help us! Explain that they won’t let us without him and tell him he doesn’t have to interact with us after the case is over” Wally said and that hurt Donna’s heart just a bit.

She didn’t want him to have to be a doormat for them just because he was nice. His kindness, his ability to see the good in people, wasn't a weakness to her. But she knew that it could be used against him, and she refused to let anyone do that if she could help it.

“Guys” Nightwing said and they all turned to him. He had been silent since Donna had explained everything, but now he had a grin on his face that was infectious.

Oh he was plotting. Whatever they were gonna do, it was stupid and probably a bit dangerous.

The Titans way.

“Wing, please, please, please” Wally said excitedly. “Say the words! Say them! Say them”!

Nightwing flourished his hands out dramatically and they all cheered.

“I have a plan”!

Chapter Text

Early November, -xxx1

Dick carefully approached where Garth was curled up on the floor and jerkily running his hands through his hair. Dick could see from his expression that he was struggling, and it was so painful to see.

Garth had always been so full of light and joy for as long as Dick had known him. He wasn’t happy all the time of course, he was human and was never one to really hide what he was feeling, but Dick had never seen him so broken. His eyes were always empty now, and he was always looking off, remembering something they couldn’t see. It felt like he was drifting away to somewhere they couldn’t follow him, not brushing them off but not telling them what's wrong. But now he was sitting on the floor and about to burst.

“Garth” Donna said softly as she kneeled next to him. Garth shook his head, his expression pleading. Wally sat on Garth's other side and Dick got on his knees in front of him. “I know it's hard, but we’re here for you. You always have us when you need us”.

Garth let out a sob before quickly slamming a hand over his mouth, tears streaming down his face. He screwed his eyes shut.

“Garth. We’ve got you, it’s okay” Dick said and Wally nodded. Garth kept shaking his head, trying so hard to stifle his cries that Dick’s heart shattered. Donna moved forwards and gently pulled Garth into her arms, and the second he was secure, he let loose and sobbed into Donna’s shoulder.

“It’s not fair! It’s not fair, I-” he sobbed as Dick and Wally joined in on the hug. They stayed like that for a while, and eventually Garth told them what happened.

And the four of them cried together.

~

Thursday December 5th, -xxx1

WALLY left the lecture hall wanting to sleep for the next seven years. He didn’t know why he decided to study engineering, maybe he secretly hated himself? Didn’t matter, he was done with finals for the semester and he could relax until January.

He refused to do any sort of math until the New Year.

He made his way to his dorm, which was on the other side of campus, as he texted Linda to let her know he finished and to wish her luck on her last exam that she had later that day. She surprisingly answered him immediately, congratulating him on finishing the semester and telling him they would make plans when she finished.

ily

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He was grinning like an idiot at his phone and ran into a stop sign. He quickly looked around to see if anyone saw that before picking up the pace to get to his dorm. He didn’t stay long, grabbing his already packed bag and leaving to go back to Uncle Barry’s. When he was far away enough and in a secluded area, he used his powers to run home.

“Wally!” two little voices shrieked before they both wrapped their arms around his legs, one child to each leg.

“Hey you two” he greeted, picking them both up easily as Roy rounded the corner. “You’re watching them today”?

“I had nothing else to do today and Torchie is still at Uncle Hal's,” Roy explained. The twins immediately started looking around.

“Torchie!?” they asked excitedly as they looked around.

“No, he's with Uncle Hal. They aren’t here” Wally explained patiently and both twins whined. “Hey, I can’t change that”!

Wally had no idea why the twins liked Torchie so much. Torchie probably did this on purpose to haunt Wally and Roy. Aunt Iris liked him, Uncle Barry liked him, Jay liked him, Max liked him- even Linda liked him!

It was annoying.

Wally was actually kind of mad at Torchie even though he knew he really shouldn’t be. Torchie could’ve just taken one for the team and just worked with them to finish the case, but what they did- what Wally said-

It was so complicated. But if Donna said to leave him alone, they would. Wally remembered his panic attack at Thanksgiving, and the conversation they had after. This whole thing was a huge mess, and there was no reason to make it worse for anyone involved, especially when Torchie had been recently possessed by Parallax.

“I’ll probably watch them tomorrow,” Wally said, putting the twins down. “Save Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris some money on daycare”.

And get on Uncle Barry’s good side in case today went south. But it shouldn’t! They had gone over the plan like a million times.

Luckily they had time before they had to meet up at Titans Tower. Roy couldn’t leave until either Uncle Barry or Aunt Iris came home and took the twins off his hands, and Wally wasn’t going to leave him by himself. So the two of them occupied themselves by playing with the twins after Wally put his bag in his room. The door opened a little while later, but earlier than his Aunt or Uncle’s usual arrival time.

Uncle Barry poked his head in with a smile.

“Daddy!” the twins shrieked, dropping whatever toys were in their hands to run over to Uncle Barry, who was quick to get down and pull them into his arms.

“My babies” he greeted, squeezing them tight and causing them to giggle. Then he looked up to Wally and Roy. “My much bigger babies”.

“Hi Uncle Barry” they both greeted. Wally continued “you’re back early”.

“Slow day, so they let me decide if I wanted to just leave. Usually I stay but I wanted to relieve Roy from babysitting” Uncle Barry said with a smile. He didn’t reach for his wallet, and Wally was glad that he finally stopped trying to pay him or Roy for watching the twins. “Though I think some congratulations are in order? How’d your last final go”?

“I think I did good. I’m passing the class, and I don’t think I did so bad that it tanked my grade or anything. Roy and I are gonna meet up with the others later today to celebrate” Wally told him. Uncle Barry beamed and Wally immediately felt bad for lying to him.

“I think that’s a great idea. We can celebrate as a family this weekend” Uncle Barry said before turning to Roy. “And you’re of course invited”.

“I won’t pass up the opportunity for a celebration,” Roy said with a grin. Uncle Barry let go of the twins and stood up.

“You two go play. I need to talk to your cousins for a sec” Uncle Barry instructed and the twins chirped an affirmative before running back to the living room, away from the conversation but still in sight. “I just wanted to say to you both before you left that I’m sorry about the whole Toyman case”.

“It’s not your fault Uncle Barry. Donna told us you tried” Roy reassured immediately.

“I just wish the League trusted us more. I know this year sucked, but we’ve been doing this for a while now” Wally said honestly. Uncle Barry gave him a sad smile.

“I’m sorry so much has changed since what happened to me. And since April” Uncle Barry said softly, and Wally let the wave of sadness roll over him.

Sometimes things sucked, but honestly? At least Uncle Barry and Uncle Hal were back.

They left for Titans Tower after saying goodbye to Uncle Barry and the twins. By now at least Garth would have arrived, so Wally and Roy made their way to the elevator to get to their floor.

“B-3: Flash, B-5: Red Arrow”.

Wally could not wait to get his A code in January when he turned 21. At least the system had stopped calling him Kid Flash.

They stepped off the elevator and onto their floor to see Donna and Garth having a serious conversation. Before they could close enough to hear it, both Donna and Garth stopped talking, looking over at them with a smile.

“You survived!” Garth cheered with a smile.

“Congratulations! Finals season sucks” Donna sympathized. Wally raised a mock eyebrow.

“Did you even make it to finals season before you dropped out?” Wally asked. Donna’s face went blank and she stood up. Wally shrieked and threw up his arms in defense. “Nononono! Please, I was joking!”

It was all in good fun and he knew it, but it was fun to pretend. Wally was biologically an only child, but with them he was the middle child of five. They were his brothers and sister, he liked joking around with them.

“Don’t kill him yet Donna” Bird joked as he walked in. They all jumped.

“Your code didn’t go off. What did you do?” Roy asked and Nightwing shrugged.

“I like keeping everyone on their toes at all time,” Nightwing said with a grin. “But let’s go over the plan one more time”!

They all gather around the table, Nightwing pulling out a map of the area.

“The opening is in Atlanta, Georgia. This is an outdoor event guys, so if there is another attack, it could be from anywhere. Our case was given to Titans B, and they can also be anywhere. We don’t want them to catch us, that would put them in a hard place and we don’t do that to our friends” Nightwing said and everyone nodded.

Titans B probably wouldn’t report them, but they wanted to not even put them in that position. And if the League found out, then Titans B would be in trouble too.

“Red Arrow and I will be stationed on this roof here” Nightwing continued, pointing to a rooftop overlooking the area. “But we could move depending on how Titans B is positioned. These are backup rooftops 2, 3, 4, and 5”.

“Troia, Tempest, and Flash, you three will be undercover on the ground. Troia, I want you to get as close as you can to Schott and hear if he says anything that could reveal his motivations. Tempest, you're on the lookout for anything suspicious in the main part of the event. Flash, you locate Schott’s computer and download his personal files. Any questions?” Nightwing asked. They all shook their heads and Nightwing smiled. “Alright, let’s go”.

Wally felt weird being on a mission but not dressed as the Flash. The last time he had done something like this- well, it’s been a while. He was in casual clothes, jeans and a shirt, with sunglasses and a cap pulled down low over his face that was partially obscuring his vision. Torchie did this all the time when in his civi’s but his cap was usually pulled down lower. How did he deal with this?

Wally looked around the toy store, squeezing between the enormous amount of people. It was sad that Schott was a villain, Wally would totally buy stuff for the twins if he wasn’t. He looked around for where Schott’s office would be and cursed under his breath before ducking around the corner.

“Bee’s here” Wally reported quietly into his comm. Nightwing made a noise of agreement.

“I see Cy and BB too but I don’t think they’ve seen us. Still haven’t seen Star or Rae” Nightwing reported back.

“I don’t see them here” Tempest reported. “And nothing unusual here yet either”.

“I think I found an opening,” Troia said. “I’m going in”.

“Roger that,” Nightwing responded. “Careful Troia. Flash, are you ready”?

“Almost in position”.

Wally pretended to look at some toys while he tracked Bumblebee out of the corner of his eye. When she was far away enough, he commed Nightwing.

“Found the door, the coast is clear. Go for it”.

“Roger that” Nightwing responded and Wally could just imagine him hacking into the security cameras, having seen it hundreds of times before. “Gosh their security su- uh oh”.

“N?” Troia’s voice came immediately and Wally felt himself tense up without meaning to. “Respond”.

“Fuck” Red Arrow groaned. A new voice came over comms.

“What are you five doing”?

“Supergirl-“!

“You left me out? This is our case” Supergirl said, sounding angry. Oh no and fuck indeed.

“Can we talk about this after the case? Please?” Nightwing said, voice sugary sweet. Wally could feel Supergirl’s rage and shuddered.

“Fine. But don’t think you can run and hide from me. You're not getting out of this conversation” Supergirl grumbled. While they were a team, a family, Nightwing was the one to make the decision to exclude Supergirl. He could have the conversation with her by himself.

“Wouldn’t dream of it”! Nightwing chirped. “And done! Go for it Flash”!

Wally made sure Bumblebee wasn’t looking at him before he slipped into the employee only area. It wasn’t hard to find Schott’s office, and his computer was just sitting on his desk. Wally almost laughed at how stupid easy it was as he pulled out the self hacking usb stick and plugged it in.

“Something’s- something’s off” Supergirl said over comms. Wally frowned and glanced towards the door before looking at the self hacking usb that had barely started.

“Like what?” Red Arrow asked quietly.

“I just hear something. And it’s familiar, but I can’t pinpoint what it is exactly” Supergirl admitted, sounding frustrated.

“Stay alert Titans” was all Nightwing said, which didn’t help Wally at all.

Instead he glanced at the usb’s progress and frowned. This was taking forever. Maybe Nightwing should’ve come down here and hacked the laptop himself. Or maybe they should have persuaded Oracle to help them remotely and bribed her not to tell the League.

No, that wouldn't have worked. She would’ve totally told Supergirl they were doing the mission without her. But then again, Supergirl found them anyway so that didn’t matter. Wally wondered if Supergirl found them herself, or if Oracle found them through cameras or something and-

There was screaming from outside. Before he could even ask over comms, check on Tempest and Troia who were out there, Red Arrow spoke.

“Deadshot's in the area!” Roy cried out and Wally cursed, going to suit up.

“Flash, stay on your task” Nightwing ordered and Wally stopped. “Everyone else, Titans! Go”!

Wally turned back to the usb that was now halfway done, but he swore it was going even slower.

“Come on! Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon!” Wally pleaded. “Hurry up”!

He had to be out there with them, not in here. He couldn’t be helpful in here. He wanted to shake the damn thing but didn’t want to risk disrupting the process, especially because he was partially the reason they didn’t get any information in Florida. So all he could do was wait. But waiting was torture. He wondered if Nightwing was keeping him off the field as punishment. Did he not trust Wally after Florida, or because he screwed up the thing with Torchie even more? Everytime Wally finally feels worthy of his place, worthy of being the Flash, he fucks things up and-

He could hear more screams from outside. Titans B definitely knew they were here, and once this hit social media and the news, the League would know too. He wondered how Uncle Barry would feel, knowing that Wally had lied to him and went behind his back to do something he wasn’t supposed to.

“Supergirl is compromised” Nightwing called over comms, and Wally banged his first on the table. “Flash, abandon your objective. We need you out here”!

Wally didn’t think twice before changing into his suit, ripping the usb from the laptop, and exiting the building to get to the outdoor common area of the mall. He came out just in time to see a bullet flying towards Supergirl.

She was on the floor, a hand clutching her bloody shoulder and seemed to be glaring at nothing. The bullet had red light emitting from it, and Wally could immediately tell that it was red sunlight. Or well, artificial red sunlight. Wally was quick to pick her up and move her behind shelter, moving Kori (who was close by) over a bit too so that she wouldn’t get hit, just in case. The bullet hit the ground harmlessly, shattering on impact.

“You okay?” Wally asked. Kara looked around confused. She should’ve seen him move her because of her super speed, but with the red sunlight bullet in her shoulder-

“Yeah, I’m fine” Kara said, sounding frustrated and Wally felt bad. He could sympathize with feeling worthless in a situation.

“Good” Nightwing said, appearing out of nowhere before speaking into his comms. “Deadshot is on the north rooftop”.

Nightwing then guided Supergirl to lay down and started to extract the bullet while Wally kept watch.

“How did you even get shot?” Nightwing asked. Supergirl rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t dodge it. I’m bulletproof” Supergirl said, wincing when Nightwing moved a bit too fast.

“Sorry, almost got it,” Nightwing apologized. “It’s really lodged in there. Whoever made this designed it so that it would be hard to take out”.

“And painful” was all Supergirl said.

“The bullets emit red sunlight” Wally said, and they both snapped their attention to him. “Saw it in slow motion. Whoever made the bullets made a huge advancement in technology”.

They shared a glance but said nothing before Nightwing went back to work getting the bullet out of her shoulder. None of them wanted to state the obvious. Not right now.

“And- got it” Nightwing said, pulling it out and holding it up with his tweezers. “Rest out in the sun. The second you heal, meet up with us. Flash, let’s help the others apprehend Deadshot”.

Wally grabbed Nightwing around the waist and ran over to where the commotion was. They were no longer on the rooftop Nightwing had sent them to, but one several blocks away. The fight didn’t last much longer after Nightwing and Wally arrived, especially when a not so happy Supergirl appeared to land the last blow. After giving Deadshot to the proper authorities, the two groups met up at a rooftop a little farther away.

“Schott is gone and the area is taped off” Troia reported and Nightwing nodded.

“Sorry for taking your case” Starfire said but Nightwing was quick to reassure her.

“No hard feelings, you guys were just doing your job. We’re sorry to have interfered. We didn’t want you guys to see us but well- couldn’t be helped” Nightwing laughed. “We’ll take responsibility for our actions. It’s not like the League won’t find out”.

They all glanced down at the several news stations below, and Wally winced. Would he be safer at the Tower? His dorm? Linda’s? He was technically too old to be grounded, but it wasn’t like he would tell his Aunt or Uncle no if they tried.

They headed back to Titans Tower after that, the two groups splitting off to go to their respective floors. Bird didn’t call for a Titans debrief, and he didn’t ask for any information anyone had gathered, instead just sympathizing with Vic over the reports they would have to write.

“That could’ve gone better” Garth sighed, climbing into the tank in the middle of their living room. It doubled as a coffee table if they put the top on, but they never did. Wally actually didn’t know where the top was. Bird locked their floor off, which meant no one would be able to enter unless they had higher privileges than Bird. But no one at the tower had higher privileges than Bird.

“How’s your shoulder Kara?” Nightwing asked as he turned back to them. The rest of them that were standing took a seat on the couch.

“Fine. All healed up and good as new” Kara said.

Now that they weren’t in battle, Wally had the time to feel guilty. If he had been out there, he could have helped and Kara wouldn’t have been hurt. But Bird had ordered him to stay put, and of course he listened to Bird, why wouldn’t he?

“And what information did we gather?” Bird asked. Wally tossed him the drive.

“Drive didn’t finish and I had to yank it out,” Wally explained. “Anything on it is probably corrupted”.

He really didn’t accomplish anything with this mission and it sucked. He really wanted to make up for fucking up in both Dallas and Miami, but instead just ended up adding Atlanta to his list. It was frustrating, always taking one step forward and three steps back.

“I got nothing either” Garth admitted, laying back in the water so most of his body was submerged.

“I overheard Schott talking with his son” Donna said and they all turned to her in surprise.

“Schott has a son?” Kara asked, eyebrow raised.

“I guess so. He said he was proud of his dad for turning over a new leaf” Donna continued. “Schott seemed genuinely touched by it”.

But that could’ve been a trap. Maybe they wanted people to hear that to throw them off their trail. But was Schott’s son an accomplice or another victim?

“We’re not gonna have a lot of time before the League finds out and calls us in,” Bird said after a moment of silence. “Roy lets go”.

Wally tried not to feel bad that Bird took Roy over him. He told himself that it wasn’t his performance. Bird just knew all of their strengths, and Roy’s was the best suited for whatever they weren gonna do. It wasn’t Wally’s fault, he did fine. But the drive today, getting distracted in Miami, and in Dallas he wasn’t fast enough-

He did fine.

“Where are you going?” Donna asked. Bird grinned at them.

“Blackgate. We’re gonna pay Deadshot a visit”.;

~

DICK crouched on a roof and looked at Blackgate in the distance. Red Arrow sat on the roof next to him, looking at him in confusion. They had been there for a couple of hours waiting for Floyd to get transferred from Georgia to Jersey, and Dick had confirmed that Floyd had arrived around 30 minutes ago but-

“So uh, what are we waiting for?” Red Arrow asked after a while. There might’ve been a shift behind them, and Dick really hoped there was because he would look so stupid if there wasn’t.

“This” Dick said before calling behind them. “Hi Orphan”!

He grinned when he turned and saw Cass step out of the shadows. Red Arrows eyes widened, but Dick knew he recognized her. They didn’t get to interact much before everything that happened, but there was no way he forgot.

Cass tilted her head to the side before gesturing to the sun.

“Yeah, coming out during the day in Gotham or Bludhaven isn’t really my thing, but it isn’t yours either and this is a Titans mission. You remember Red Arrow”? She nodded. “Does Batman know I’m here”?

She shrugged.

“But Oracle does”?

A nod.

“Can you have her run interference? I need to talk to someone in Blackgate before everything blows up with the League” Dick explained. Cass nodded again before disappearing into the shadows.

Dick couldn’t tell if she was still standing there or if she had left, but he turned away anyway.

“Come on, let’s get moving” Dick said and Red Arrow nodded, tearing his gaze away from where Cass had been (or still was?).

Blackgate security let them walk in with very little questions. At least they treated the Titans like adults unlike the League, though it helped that a lot of people in this city had respect for Robin, and Dick was the first Robin.

“Floyd” Dick greeted when he was brought out. Floyd rolled his eyes.

“I knew we were gonna have a meeting, but I didn’t think it would be this fast,” Floyd commented as he sat across from Dick. Security left without saying a word.

Robin privileges.

“We’re on a tight schedule,” Dick said with a shrug. “Now let’s go over the r-“.

“No need,” Floyd interrupted. “You don’t even have to bring Zoey into this. I’ll talk”.

“Oh” Dick said because he was absolutely not expecting that.

“Why?” Red Arrow asked incredulously. Floyd looked angry.

“Never got my payment” Floyd said and Dick nodded. “Lady found me and presented the gun to me. Offered me a number with a lot of zeroes to test it out for her. She gave me a location, a date, and asked me to shoot a Kryptonian specifically”.

“Do you know her name?” Red Arrow asked and Floyd rolled his eyes.

“If I knew her name I would’ve said it” Floyd scoffed. “She did look familiar, but I don’t know from where”.

“You have any info on the weapon” Dick asked and Floyd nodded. Good to get some info now, because even though Dick requested the weapon from the authorities, it could be a couple of days before he got it.

“I examined it before using it, but I couldn’t trace the materials or tech back to any one dealer or builder. Pretty advanced technology, but it only came with three bullets. Didn’t expect to actually injure Supergirl, she’s bullet proof, but I did my job” Floyd said. He didn’t seem very sorry for it, but it was Floyd.

“Thanks Floyd!” Dick said as he stood up. “Try to stay out of trouble”.

Back at the tower, Roy and Dick made their way to the main computer room, which was located on the second highest floor of the tower.

“We need to search up females we or the League have fought before” Dick said as they walked in. He sat in front of the computer. “Maybe we can narrow it down”.

“Good idea” Roy said, pulling another chair over.

Dick went to pull up the database when he saw it.

“A mission?” Dick asked as he clicked on it.

“But we didn’t log this or the Schott thing” Roy said, raising an eyebrow. Dick must’ve been making a face because Roy’s expression became alarmed and he looked back at the screen. “Wha- oh”.

Titans West went on a mission today.

Dick immediately felt angry. He already told them several times that they weren’t ready, and for them to just go behind his back and do it anyways- how did they even get it approved? Did the League just completely disregard his decisions despite putting him in charge of this? Did they hack into the- Dicks anger melted into hurt, betrayal.

Garth approved it.

“Did you know about this?” Dick asked quietly before glancing at Roy. Roy had taken off his mask and was now looking at the screen in shock.

“No. I had no idea” Roy said honestly, looking Dick in the eye. There was something in his eyes that Dick didn’t like, and at first Dick though he was lying but then he realized-

Roy looked nervous.

Maybe Garth didn’t do this. Maybe someone from Titans West like Jackson knew Garth’s code? He needed to talk to Garth.

“Bird?” Roy asked when Dick stood up without a word. Dick didn’t stop and Roy scrambled to follow. “Bird”!

Dick found them upstairs in the common area. Donna, Wally, and Kara were sitting with Titans West and Karen on the couch while Garth sat in the tank/coffee table they had up there. Donna saw him first and smiled at him before looking confused. Concerned.

“Bird? What happened” Donna said, standing quickly. Dick ignored her and made a bee line to Garth. He looked confused as he sat up.

“Bir-“?

“Did you approve a mission for Titans West” Dick asked. He was really, really hoping this was just a misunderstanding. That there was a glitch in the system and-

“I did,” Garth said calmly. The room was silent and Dick took a moment to numbly look around.

Donna's eyes were wide, while Wally looked horrified. Joey wouldn’t look at him and was instead stubbornly facing a wall, Jackson's face was blank, M’gann looked like she wanted to disappear, and Connor met his gaze. Karen was looking in between Garth and Dick like she was waiting for one of them to explode.

And when the anger hit Dick like a train, he did.

“You knew how I felt about this. You disobeyed an order- no, you went behind my back!” Dick spat, but Garth remained calm.

“Bird, they were perfectly safe. If you read the mission report-“.

“I don’t care! I told you no! I told all of you no!” Dick snapped. He whirled on Wally and Donna. “Did you two know about this”?

“Hey!” Garth said and Dick turned back to him. Garth looked angry, it didn’t seem natural on him. “Your problem is with me. Not them”.

“Why would you undermine me like that?” Dick asked. Garth shook his head.

“Bird, I know you want them safe, but this isn’t going to help them. They are ready to be on the field, it’s not like they’re gonna be out fighting Zod or something. If they never start they’ll never learn” Garth said. “We all want to keep them safe, but you’ve been blinded by what happened to-“!

“You don’t get it, you’ll never understand what it’s like to-“ Dick hissed, but stopped abruptly when he realized what he had done. All the anger had drained out of him, and all he could do was look at the destroyed expression Garth had. “Garth, I’m so sorry”.

Haunted purple eyes started back into his, but the expression quickly changed into something so cold and unlike Garth that Dick had to take a step back. Garth stood up, water splashing out of the tank at the movement before he stepped out of the tank and up to Dick.

“I don’t understand?” Garth asked softly. Dick reached out to him but was surprised when Garth knocked his hand away. What had he done? He was never so careless, especially with the people he loved.

“Garth, I was just angry, I’m so sorry I-“!

“I’m gonna go. Don’t reach out. Focus on you, you tend to do that a lot” was all Garth said before he walked out the door.

The room was silent, the tension so thick that Dick almost couldn’t breathe. 

What had he done?

Chapter Text

Early September, -xxx1

ROY sat on a bench in between Donna and Bird as they watched the other Titans spar.

He shouldn’t be here, he knew he was only invited to help oversee this since Donna and Bird were worried about him, but honestly he appreciated it. Ever since Uncle Hal- Parallax had arrived the second time claiming he was going to recreate reality before some Green Lantern Wannabe had shoved him into a wormhole, Roy hadn’t been doing too good. He didn’t relapse again thankfully but he was having horrible thoughts of giving in, and he really didn’t want to worry his friends and family again so he welcomed the distraction. But-

It was frustrating. Something was wrong with Uncle Hal and it was like no one but Wally and Dinah believed him. He understood that grief could do things to you, and he knew Uncle Hal was devastated over what happened to Coast City, but Roy didn’t think Uncle Hal coming to Earth and calling himself Parallax was all because of grief. He knew his Uncle Hal, and this wasn’t like him at all. There was something wrong, Roy knew it, but he didn’t have any evidence.

He wondered where Un- Parallax was now.

They were outside the Tower, Bird having paired people up to take turns sparring. The Titans tried to do group training once a month, and everyone had come besides Garth who was in Atlantis, and Wally who was working on a case with the League. They didn’t see him often anymore.

Currently Rachel and Karen were sparring, and Roy was bored. He wished that Bird had paired Joey and Connor together, since they were both exceptional at hand to hand and it was always entertaining to watch them spar.

Looking back on it, Roy regretted ever even thinking about being bored.

Roy doesn’t know if he was the first one to see him, but he was sure he was the first one to speak to him. Floating a bit above them was a guy around their age, tanned skin and dark hair that fell into his eyes. The suit he wore was mostly black at its base, with some white design on the torso. He had what Roy could only describe as gauntlets or braces on his arms, boots that went to his knees, and a mask that Roy thought looked ridiculous all in green. From what Roy could see, his expression was blank.

He was wearing the Green Lantern symbol. He was wearing a Green Lantern ring.

Roy knew instantly that it was the guy who had pushed Parallax into the wormhole. Honestly, Roy had thought he died or something and that the League would once again have to face Parallax since no one had seen either of them since. The first time the battle was rough, and Ollie had gotten pretty injured. They technically didn’t even win, they just bought themselves time by “banishing” Parallax into the depths of space. The second time they had all been ready to attack, tension, anxiety, and reluctance heavy in the air, when this guy had come out of nowhere and the two of them disappeared into the wormhole Parallax had arrived in.

That had been about a week ago.

A lot of people thought he was a Green Lantern, but no one knew what happened to the Green Lantern Corps since their other two GL’s John and Guy had their rings taken by “Uncle Hal” when he had brutally attacked and beaten them. Roy had thought he was a wannabe that was in over his head, but here he was. And the ring looked authentic.

“Uh, hi” Roy said as everyone stopped what they were doing, immediately getting into defensive positions and waiting for Bird’s command. “Who are you”?

The guy tilted his head, quiet for a moment.

“There’s more of you then there was before” he said and Roy raised an eyebrow.

“Doesn’t answer my question. Who are you?” Roy asked. “And what do you want”?

“To kill the Titans” he said, his voice cold. Roy barely had time to pull his bow out when the guy flew at them, ring lighting up.

-

December 7th, -xxx1

“Kyle Rayner” Radu, Kyle’s landlord, greeted happily when he entered his coffee shop. KYLE gave him a genuine smile. “It’s been a while”!

“It has,” Kyle agreed as he took a seat in front of him.

Kyle left Earth abruptly at the end of September after discovering about the whole Ion thing so that he could “restart” Oa, and the only times he had been back since was to visit his mom. And then that stopped too.

“Where have you been?’ Radu asked as he fiddled with his coffee stuff. Kyle laughed awkwardly.

“Uh, I had to leave suddenly for work stuff. And then um, my mom got sick. And then she uh-” Kyle gestured helplessly hating how his eyes burned, his voice broke. He didn’t want to think about it.

A cup of coffee and a cinnamon sugar donut was placed in front of him.

“Oh, I don’t have any money. I don’t have my wallet” Kyle said lamely. Radu looked at him sadly and waved him off.

“On the house. My condolences about your mother” he said and Kyle nodded, taking a sip from his coffee. Still the best coffee in New York.

“I was wondering if I could still use my apartment,” Kyle said finally. “If you haven't already rented it out to someone else of course. I can pay you for the missed months- when I find my wallet, it might be in my- well it’s wherever my stuff is”.

God he was lame.

“What are you talking about?” Radu asked, raising an eyebrow. “You need a key”?

“Radu, I haven’t been here in months, much less paid my rent” Kyle said. Radu stared at him for a minute before nodding.

“Ah, so you don’t know?” Radu asked and Kyle shook his head slowly. “A man came by in the first week of October. He asked me how much would be the rest of your rent for your apartment and then just wrote me a check”.

“What?” Kyle asked, his heart stopping.

“Your rent has been paid in full for the rest of your lease” Radu said.

“By who?” Kyle asked. He didn’t know anyone with that much money, let alone someone who had that much money and knew where he lived.

“His name was- hmm. What was it again? Arthur? No! Oliver! Oliver King, something like that” Radu said and Kyle’s jaw dropped.

“I- did he know my name?” Kyle asked and he almost hit himself. Something nice had been done for him and he was worrying about his secret identity. But-

“No, he only referred to you by your apartment number,” Radu said. “Strange man. But did you need keys”?

“I- yes please” Kyle said numbly before remembering he once again didn’t have any money. He really didn’t want to ask the others for money, and keys were expensive-

“Here. He said you might need some so he paid for them too. He has a second set” Radus said, giving Kyle the keys.

“Thank you” Kyle said immediately, pocketing the keys. Radu grabbed his coffee and donut from him and put them in a to-go cup and bag before handing them back.

“You look tired. Go, get some rest” Radu said and Kyle tried not to wince. It’s been a bit since he’s talked to someone without hiding his face. Radu could probably see the bags under his eyes. Oh Gosh, could Radu see how thin he’s gotten?

“I will, thank you Radu,” Kyle said. He went up to his apartment and hesitated. What kind of mess was behind this door? He didn’t think he could mentally take a mess right now, but he couldn’t just stay with Hal forever. And the longer he waited, the bigger the mess became. Kyle took a deep breath and unlocked the door.

Everything was clean.

Kyle locked the door behind him and looked around confused. He thinks it’s actually cleaner than when he left it. He ran his finger along a shelf, and there wasn’t even any dust. He refused to check the fridge for spoiled food, not right now, but he didn’t smell anything bad.

He went deeper into his apartment and found his mail neatly on his table. It looked like it was organized by date, and right next to it was a card for a cleaning service.

Oliver did all this? For Kyle? But Kyle thought Oliver hated him? Well, he had been nice at Thanksgiving and had even apologized. But Radu said he had came around the first week of October, and that was so soon after Kyle left-

Kyle decided not to dwell on that right now, instead heading to his bedroom. Everything was also clean, and he knew for sure that his room was cleaner than when he left it. Now he was kind of embarrassed.

He grabbed some of the most comfortable clothes he owned (an oversized shirt, a worn hoodie and sweatpants) and changed. He wanted to take a long and warm shower, but he didn’t want to make them wait any longer. He just really needed to change out of Hal’s clothes now that he had his own.

When he took off Hal’s jacket he immediately shivered. It was December in New York, but he had been freezing in California too. Hal said it was a side effect of hosting Parallax, and Kyle hated it. He was cold a lot now, and while it was easier to breathe, he still felt a bit on edge and it was dumb. Instead of thinking of Parallax and the panic attack he had on Thanksgiving because of it, he put Hal’s clothes into a bag, taking Hal’s jacket gently into his arms.

He left the room and was about to close the door when he realized that he had pictures around his living room. Pictures with his face in them. There weren’t that many, maybe two or three, and he could just put them in his room so they wouldn’t see them but-

He wanted to see something. So he closed his room door behind him and put all three pictures he had around face down in a pile, leaving the bag of clothes on his couch. He powered on his ring and willed his suit on, and after he made sure his mask was on and that there was nothing else around that would give away his identity, he went towards the window and opened the curtains.

“I’m in. You guys can come now” Kyle said into his ring as he opened the window. Soon he had five Lanterns on his fire escape and he moved to let them in.

“Nice place you got here. Clean too” Guy said, looking around after gently putting Kyle’s mom’s painting down on the couch.

“You took a minute. Your landlord give you a hard time?” John asked. “Probably cost you a lot to keep this place”.

“No, my landlord is great. And uh, I actually didn’t have to pay. Apparently Oliver paid the rent for the rest of my lease after I left” Kyle said. Hal grinned.

“That was nice of him. Guessing he paid for your place to be cleaned too?” Hal asked and Kyle nodded. “Yep, that’s Ollie. Good that he’s still trying to make amends”.

Hal had hounded Kyle after Thanksgiving on what had happened between him and the League while Kyle was the only Green Lantern, and after Kyle forced Hal to promise he wouldn’t do anything about it, Kyle told him. While Hal hadn’t been happy, he kept his promise.

Probably?

“I haven’t checked the fridge though. I don’t know if any food has gone bad” Kyle mentioned, not looking at any of them. They had said if he needed anything, all he had to do was ask. So, here he was, asking. Kinda.

“I’ll check” Jess offered, even though she didn’t really know about Kyle’s history with fridges, and Kyle relaxed.

“Thanks” Kyle said as she went to do that. He turned his back to the kitchen.

“Is this where you work?” Simon asked, gesturing to Kyle’s art table.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I don’t really have to go to an office or anything” Kyle mentioned, which he was thankful for. He would’ve lost his job if he had to go to an office. He was lucky he got to work at home and on his own time.

“Nothings gone bad, but your fridge is pretty empty and everything that’s left has a long shelf life, so someone probably cleaned it out” Jess said as she came back to the rest of them. She paused and gestured to the stack of face down pictures on his side table. “What’s this”?

“Oh. Those are pictures. With my face in them” was all Kyle said. Jess nodded before turning away from them without hesitation. Kyle’s heart felt a bit warm.

“Oh yeah Hal, this is yours” Kyle said, grabbing the bag off of the couch and handing it to Hal. Then he carefully handed Hal his jacket. He kinda didn’t want to, it was comfortable. “And thanks. For everything”.

“Aw don’t get sappy on us now kid” Guy said with a grin. “You’re stuck with us, which you might think is a good thing now, but just you wait”!

“Oh yeah, Guy is great at being the annoying older brother” John grumbled and Jess and Simon nodded, looking so tired suddenly. Hal snickered.

“Oh hey! Now I get to be an annoying older sibling! Thanks for taking one for the team Torchie” Jess said with a smile. Kyle couldn’t help but smile too.

He always wanted siblings. Now he was a part of a family where he was the youngest of six. He wasn’t alone anymore.

That was all he wanted.

Eventually they had to go, leaving just Hal and Guy, but the others left with promises of seeing him again soon and he would hold them to that.

“Listen kid, don’t go silent on us” Guy said seriously. “If you do, I will find you and kick your ass”.

“I won’t avoid you guys again, I promise” Kyle laughed, feeling stupid for avoiding them in the first place. Guy made a face before ruffling Kyle’s hair a bit too hard, laughing when Kyle batted at his hands.

“See ya Torchie” Guy said before flying out his window.

“That’s your sector partner. Have fun” Hal laughed and Kyle rolled his eyes. “He’s a good sector partner to have though. He won’t let you down”.

“Good to know,” Kyle said.

“But what Guy said still stands. Don’t be a stranger, and if you need something, ask. I mean it, no more isolating yourself. What you went through, what we went through, isolating yourself can be dangerous. You know where I live, you have our numbers. Keep us in the loop” Hal said seriously. Kyle gave him a salute.

“Sir yes sir” Kyle said. Hal cracked a smile and ruffled his hair. “Oh come on my hair”!

“It was already messed up,” Hal laughed as he shrugged on his jacket over his uniform and climbed out the window. “I just helped”!

And then he was gone, and even though Kyle was by himself, for the first time in a long time he didn’t feel alone.

He closed his window and shut the curtains before powering off his ring, feeling less tired than last time. He really did appreciate everything the other Lanterns did for him and just how they were. He flipped up the photos and decided to group them together on the same table. If he was gonna have people coming over more often, it would be easier to keep his identity a secret if they were all close together. Easier to hide them.

But- did he want to keep his identity a secret from the others anymore?

One of the big reasons he decided to keep it a secret in the first place was because the League hadn’t been the fondest of him when he first became Green Lantern. He didn’t understand the borderline hostility at first, not knowing much about what had happened to Hal, but now he could kind of understand them better. They had one Green Lantern go rogue and try to reshape reality, their other two Green Lanterns could no longer use their rings and didn’t know why or what had happened to the Corps, and then a new guy comes in and claims to be the last Green Lantern yet doesn't know anything about being a Green Lantern or the Corps.

Very suspicious, so he understood even though he didn’t agree with it.

But the League and most of the people in the database were nice to him now. They not only accepted him, but they respected him and the hard work he had put in. They had been happy to meet him at Thanksgiving and see him again at the meeting on Monday, asking how he had been and if he was okay. Even Wally, who Kyle thought hated him the most, was being kinda nice. He didn’t have to worry about having to face what he faced as a Green lantern in his civilian life now, he didn’t need to hide behind the mask. So why did he-

Kyle opened his room door and was brutally reminded why he kept his identity a secret from other super heroes.

On his nightstand was a picture of him and his mom. Kyle was young, maybe three or four, and was smiling brightly from where he was snuggled in his mothers arms. His mother looked as beautiful as ever, her chin on his head as she smiled. Kyle took a deep breath and looked away, trying not to think of the picture of Alex he had on his shelf.

His mother knew his secret identity, and now she was dead. Sinestro had Despotellis kill her. Alex knew his secret identity, and Major Force killed her. Kyle felt like throwing up, putting a shaking hand to his mouth for comfort. He rationally knew that the other Lanterns could take care of themselves but- he couldn’t take another death. Not right now.

He couldn’t risk it.

Kyle sat on his bed and pulled the frame into his arms, hugging it to his chest for a couple of seconds before forcing himself to look at it again.

“Oh Mam” he said softly.

He hated all the time they spent fighting. He had been so stupid, and yes she had been suffocating but- he missed so much time. He should’ve come back to Earth more, he should’ve paid more attention to her culture talks and learned more of her language growing up. He hated himself for letting this happen to her.

He hated that he wasn’t there with her when she got worse, when she died.

But she hadn’t been alone. Guy had been there with her, Sora had gone to do what she could to help, and Donna- Donna went to see her and sit with her too.

That meant a lot to him. To have people in his corner, looking out for his family. Kyle had the overwhelming urge to call Guy and thank him for his help. Tell him how much this meant to him, but he didn’t want Guy to think something was wrong so soon after he left. And he wanted to do it in person.

He never thanked Sora either, who did her best to keep his mom alive. Sodam said she volunteered to go to Earth when Guy had mentioned his mom was sick, and that she blamed herself for not being able to do better. She supported him in the aftermath of it too, coming to his mom’s funeral with Sodam and Tu and helping him settle his mom’s affairs. He definitely needed to thank her when he saw her again.

And Donna- the last time they had seen each other before his mom died, they had fought. Kyle had said some not nice things and she still went to his mother's side even though she didn’t have to. She, Guy, and Sodam were the only three people to have met his mom before she died, but she didn't have to come just because she knew her. Donna held him in her arms while he cried.

And then she asked for help with a case and Kyle said no.

Kyle gently put the picture back on his nightstand and wiped at his eyes. She had done something huge for him and he couldn’t do this small thing for her? He owed her.

Kyle stood up and powered on his ring before leaving his room. He got out through his window, closing it behind him before flying to San Francisco. He needed to talk to her about it at least, even though he really didn’t want to work with Titans A again.

“A-19: Green Lantern” the system called out as he entered. He took the elevator to the top floor and jumped when the elevator opened.

“You’re back!” the four members of Titans West cheered from where they stood just outside of the elevator. They must’ve heard his code.

“Uh yeah” Kyle laughed as he stepped out of the elevator.

“Joey says that Connor said you were back a couple of days ago. Why did it take you so long to come to the tower? Are you still fighting with Titans ?” Connor translated as Joey signed.

“Oh uh, I haven't been back to Earth in a while so, I’ve kinda been readjusting. Sorry, I should’ve reached out sooner” Kyle apologized, ignoring the last question. “But what about you guys? How's the whole team thing going”?

He really should find Donna so he could talk to her, but he really liked Titans West. They had always been nice to him, not comparing him to former Green Lanterns or being suspicious of him. Then again, they were younger and had been heroes for less time. They also probably weren’t as close to Hal as Titans A was. Well maybe Connor was, but he joined this year so he spent less time with Hal.

He was also sympathetic towards them. They were supposed to be a team, another sub group within the Titans, but they kept getting told they weren’t ready and needed more time. Kyle had seen them train, and he thought they were ready to start. Donna had said they were ready to start, and had been for a while. So why not start them?

Connor rolled his eyes.

“It actually got worse. We went on a mission without Bird’s permission and we did a good job! But instead of seeing that, Bird got mad that we went behind his back and now we’re all on probation” Connor explained and M’gann nodded.

“He also said something stupid to Garth, and we haven’t seen him since” Jackson said and Kyle frowned.

“Joey says, Titans A has been falling apart for a while now, but they actually might explode this time” M’gann translated. “I agree, they’ve barely looked at each other these last few days. It’s like we’re all walking on eggshells”.

“Where are they now?” Kyle asked, looking around. He thought at least one of them would pop in when they heard his code, but maybe they weren’t here?

“Oh they decided to continue a case they were supposed to behind the League’s backs and got caught” Connor said. “Hypocrites”.

Kyle remembered how upset Donna looked when she stormed out of the Hall of Justice’s meeting room the other day.

“I didn’t know they weren’t allowed to continue the case” Kyle said, frowning. Connor raised an eyebrow.

“Roy told me that the only way the League would let them take the case in the first place was if Kara joined them, and if they had someone from the League oversee them. That’s you” Connor continued and Kyle froze. What-? “But they’re at the Hall of Justice for a disciplinary meeting right now, and from what my Dad and Dinah said, it’s not gonna be good”.

~

They were fucked. There was no other way WALLY could describe it.

He had never seen the League so mad in his life, and he had known them since he was like 12. He could tell they were angry for different reasons, and that they were different levels of angry. Like Uncle Barry was more disappointed than mad, and Wally knew that he was more upset about Wally and the others lying to him then he was about them continuing the case. But Wally did not like the look on his face.

“What were the six of you thinking? We told you that we took you off of the case, yet you still went anyways” Aunt Diana said and Wally winced.

“You’re not teenagers anymore, you know better than to not follow orders. That gets you killed” Batman said sternly. Wally could feel Bird grit his teeth despite the fact that he wasn’t next to him.

All six of them were here, even Garth who had been avoiding them. Wally didn’t expect Kara to have been called in, but the League didn’t want to hear their side of the story. Usually one League member would advocate for them, at least one, but they had lied to all of them in different ways. They were all pissed.

Oh, this was bad. What a horrible reminder that they weren’t children anymore, that they wanted to be treated like adults. This is how adults were treated apparently. Where were the benefits? Were there any benefits?

“Exactly, we aren’t teenagers anymore. We’re adults! But you’re still treating us like children” Bird said, looking only at Batman.

“We’ve taken cases way harder than this! Why won’t you just let us do what we do! We don’t need a babysitter, you’ve never had someone watch over us while we worked before. Even when we were children” Donna snapped and Wally nodded.

As kids they basically went wherever they wanted (with very few exceptions) as long as they kept up with school and chores, and let an adult know vaguely where they would be. They never had someone watching over them during missions or at the Tower, they never had to ask permission to start a case, but now all of them were legally adults and had less freedom than they did as children.

“You five agreed to the conditions we gave in order to take the case. You needed Kara-“ Uncle Clark started explaining calmly.

“And we have Kara,” Roy interrupted, gesturing to Kara, who was standing in between Roy and Wally.

“And” Aunt Dinah continued for Uncle Clark. “Torchie to join you on the case. Where’s Torchie”?

They really had no argument for that. Torchie had told them he wasn’t going to continue the case, he probably told the other Lanterns that too. There was no way around this, Torchie wasn’t gonna come crashing in and-

“Sorry I’m late!” Torchie said as he slipped into the main meeting room.

Wally’s homework wasn’t gonna be completely done and he totally wasn’t gonna get all easy classes for the rest of his degree.

Please.

“Torchie? What are you doing here” Uncle Hal asked as Torchie stood at the end of their little line, near Wally’s side and right next to Garth. He stood at what Wally could only describe as the military’s at ease, before he jolted a bit and took a more casual stance.

“I’m part of the team,” Torchie said. “Again, sorry I’m late, no one told me there was a meeting. I only found out because I went to Titans Tower to talk about what we’re doing next and Connor told me”.

“Did you not get the group text?” Garth said, speaking for the first time. Torchie shook his head. “Bird was supposed to send it out. But he’s been busy lately”.

“I’m really sorry” Bird said, and Wally knew it wasn’t about not sending out a fake text.

“I thought you weren’t gonna go back to the case” Uncle Hal said, eyebrow raised and Wally tried not to wince. Torchie had been at Uncle Hal’s when they went on that mission too, there was no way they were getting around this.

“I joined them like an hour before they went to the opening,” Torchie said. “I thought someone told the League”.

“That was my job, my bad” Wally said quickly, laughing awkwardly.

Uncle Hal looked between Wally and Torchie for a second before sighing.

“So that’s where you went Thursday? You didn’t need to be so secretive about it” Uncle Hal said, looking- relieved?

“Sorry, I didn’t think you would approve” Torchie said, sounding- honest? Wally was confused. He hated feeling confused.

“You’re an adult, you can do what you want” Uncle Hal said and Wally wanted to scream. Why did Torchie get to be treated like an adult but not them? He was probably in the same school year as Wally and Dick, and was definitely younger than Donna! “Would like to know you just didn’t vanish though”.

“Right! Sorry! That probably looked bad” Torchie said, looking away.

“I would just like to say,” Kara said, “I joined the mid-mission. I wasn’t told they had been taken off the case until after”!

“Wow, throwing us under the bus” Bird said. Kara smiled.

“And backing it up just to be sure”! Garth laughed before coughing into his fist and looking away. Kara was definitely still pissed at Bird then.

“This was really a communication problem,” Bird continued, ignoring Kara. “So we do apologize for the lack of communication”.

You don’t listen to us Wally wanted to scream, but they needed to get out of this situation, not start another argument.

There was silence for a moment before Batman spoke.

“Nightwing, you know better than to not file something” Batman said. “Don’t let it happen again. Any of you”.

They all responded in agreement and were dismissed. None of them said a word as they all headed to the zeta room and zetaed back to Titans Tower. After the most awkward elevator ride in the world, they exited on Titan A’s floor and Bird locked it.

Kara punched Torchie in the arm.

“Ow?” Torchie yelped, rubbing his probably now bruised arm. She didn’t even use a quarter of her strength, or Torchie would’ve been thrown through a wall or something.

“It’s been how long, and you haven’t said hello? Answered any of my messages?” Kara said. Torchie put up his hands to protect himself from any more hits.

“Okay I like, just got back and I didn’t have my phone in space” Torchie defended himself.

“He’s been back since the Monday before Thanksgiving and I delivered his phone that Tuesday” Wally said with a grin. Kara glared at Torchie who glared at Wally

“Shut up Wallace”!

“Make me Gromit”!

“Hey, back to me” Kara said and Torchie shook his head.

“You can’t hurt me, I'm injured! See!”Torchie said, and his left gauntlet thing disappeared, revealing a bandage that wrapped around his hand, around his arm, and disappeared under the sleeve of his suit. “There’s more, I fought in a war”!

“Oh, hey same” Garth said as he crawled into the tank.

Wally remembered Uncle Hal mentioning a war and how Torchie had been forced into becoming Parallax’s host, just like Uncle Hal had. Uncle Hal hadn’t come back with physical injuries though-

Kara wrapped her arms around Torchie who stiffened before relaxing and hugging her back with a smile.

“Don’t disappear on me again, understood”?

“Yes ma’am”.

Kara and Torchie had been close. Wally understood that the five of them were close and bonded for life, and that sometimes Kara would feel left out when hanging out with them because even though they were good friends with her, she would never be as close to them as they were to each other. It wasn’t like they were being mean or not including her, it was just a fact. They were bonded to each other in a way they would never be with anyone else. Torchie had been in a similar boat as Kara, on the outside, so it was easy for the two of them to get close to one another.

And Kara hadn’t been a part of the incident. She had come in with Connor towards the end, but she wasn’t a part of it. Bird and Kara had talked in private after, but Wally wasn’t sure how much Kara knew.

“Donna said you didn’t want to come back to the case” Kara said as she pulled back.

“I don’t. Uh, I didn’t? I don’t know” Torchie said honestly.

“Then why did you come to the meeting? Why help us? You didn’t have to” Bird asked. Torchie sighed and opened his mouth but jumped, lifting his ring to his face.

“Give me a sec Hal” Torchie said before lowering his ring and speaking to them again. “I didn’t want you guys to get in trouble with the League just because you wanted to finish your case”.

“So you’re gonna let yourself get in trouble with Uncle Hal?” Roy asked skeptically. Torchie waved him off.

“I’m not gonna get in trouble with Hal. When I explain he’ll back us up” Torchie said, sounding so sure of himself that Wally had to shove down the jealousy burning in his gut. Kara raised an eyebrow.

“Us? Does that mean you’re rejoining the case” Kara asked, and everyone turned to Torchie, who suddenly looked unsure.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Donna said. “No hard feelings”.

Torchie looked away from them, resummoning his gauntlet to cover his bandaged hand.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” Wally said firmly, and Torchie looked up at him in surprise. Wally pushed on. “No one would blame you”.

Torchie turned away from them, his whole body tense, and Wally nodded. The decision was made.

Chapter Text

Early September, -xxx1

“Late” Four said with a smirk as he opened the window to his apartment, giving Donna space to get inside. “Taking a page from Nightwing’s book”?

“Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to make an entrance, just for you” she said playfully as she looked around. There were boxes everywhere, and while most were closed there was a couple open with- was that art supplies around them? His power battery was on the kitchen counter. “Nice place”. 

“Thanks. And thanks for your offer to help me unpack. I’ve never really moved before, not like this, and I was kinda getting overwhelmed and kept putting it off” he said. She smiled at him, putting a lingering hand on his hip as she passed him to get to the center of his apartment.

“No problem. We’re going to be working together so why not get to know each other” she said. He paused, making a face. “Or not”? 

“No, I just- I don’t really feel comfortable sharing my secret identity” he admitted with a shrug. “I- it’s not the right time’.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We don’t get a lot of people who don’t share their secret identity, but that’s my bad for assuming. Nightwing doesn’t share his and I’ve known him for almost a decade now. No one from Batman’s team does” Donna explained, walking back over to him and taking his hand in hers. “You don’t have to share your identity for me to get to know you though. And you can take your uniform if you want to be more comfortable”.

“I- but my face” Four said, gesturing to his mask. Donna scanned her apartment and only let go of his hand to retrieve what she needed.

“Here” she said, putting an LA Dodgers cap on his head and pulling it low so it would cover his eyes. “This should work”.

He looked silly in his Lantern uniform and the Dodgers cap, but he turned his back to her and let his uniform dissolve before faceing her again. He wore a black shirt with ‘NIN’ in the middle, the second N being backwards, and pale jeans. It was her first time seeing him out of uniform.

“Comfortable?” she asked. He smiled almost fondly.

“Definitely”.

“Then let's get started,” Donna said. He handed her a box, his hand staying on hers just a bit too long, before he grabbed a box for himself. She opened hers and smirked.

“Did you mean to give me this one?” Donna asked slyly. He looked over and quickly put his box down to take hers when he realized his underwear was in it.

“Uh, oops. Didn’t really label these right, so no” he said, the part of his face she could see bright red, then paused. “Unless you want it to be yes, then it's a yes. You can’t see it, but I’m winking”.

She laughed and moved to the kitchen, deeming it hopefully safe since she didn’t want to embarrass him more. He started with the already open boxes of what she now was sure was art stuff. She opened a kitchen box and found-

“You’re very unorganized. There’s CD’s in this box” Donna called. She heard him gasp.

“That’s where those went! I was looking for those!” he said, sounding excited. “I listen to them while I work”.

“Why CD’s though?” she asked as she shuffled through them.’Green Day’, ‘Nine Inch Nails’ (same logo as the shirt he was wearing. Noted), she had never heard of any of these before. “Why not just use your phone”?

“Growing up, it was always me and my mom, and we didn’t really have a lot of money. But she got me this second hand CD player and I started collecting CDs” he explained, once again going through the boxes he was working on. “I of course upgraded my CD player and use my phone to listen to music when I’m out, but when I’m here and working I use my CD player still. Reminds me of simpler times I guess”.

She found his CD player in the same box. It was small, simple, and green, decorated with different stickers. She recognized some of them, but not others.

“You mentioned work. What do you do” Donna asked. He caught her attention by waving some kind of notebook in the air.

“I’m a freelance artist” he explained, putting the art stuff he got out of the boxes onto a desk before joining her in the kitchen, also putting a lingering hand on her hip as he passed by. She tried and failed to keep herself from smiling.

“I’m a photographer” she offered, he froze for a second before he grabbed another box.

“I guess we’re both artsy” he said, making a construct knife with his ring to open the box. “Dammit, I really suck at packing”!

She glanced over to see that he had opened a box labeled for the kitchen that was filled with different books. She laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder as she did, before taking another box and opening it. This one was also filled with non kitchen things, and she was about to tease him about it when  she noticed what was sitting on top. It was a picture of a beautiful girl with thick blonde hair and blue eyes. She was smiling in the picture and it was impossible to not stare at her. 

“Who’s this?” Donna asked when she could tear her eyes away. She didn’t want to assume who this was but-

Four glanced over and he froze in place when he noticed what she was holding, his smile dropping. She could see him swallow thickly as he gently took the picture from her, holding it with care as he gazed down at it. He was silent for a moment.

“Alex” he said, his voice breaking horribly when he did. “She, uh- she was my girlfriend, but she died recently”.

Even though she couldn’t see his face, she could hear the pain in his voice and it was gut wrenching. She wished there was something she could do or say to make it better, but there was nothing that could ease the pain of losing someone you love and she knew that from personal experience.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine” Donna said softly, slowly reaching out and putting a hand on his upper arm. He managed a sad smile.

“She uh, she took this picture herself. On a self timer. She was a photographer too” Four told her, carefully placing the picture on the counter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to get so heavy”.

“It’s okay, you're mourning. Don’t be ashamed about loving someone who’s not here anymore” Donna told him softly. He put a hand on the one she had on his arm and squeezed gently.

“Thank you”.

-

December 9th, -xxx1

DONNA sat on the couch of the common room in Titans Tower with Joey, who was doing homework. She offered to help him but he insisted he was fine. He was doing math anyways, and that was more Bird and Wally’s thing.

But Joey seemed to be comfortable, all his things spread out over the coffee table as he sat in front of it and worked. He went to the same high school that most of them went to. It was in San Francisco, and it was originally just Donna’s highschool. Then Kara, Titans B, and Garth joined, and now Jackson and Joey were going there.

She assumed Bird had gone to school in Gotham, while she knew Wally had gone to highschool mostly in Central City, Roy had gone to school in Star city before dropping out and Connor was currently going to that same school, M’gann went to school somewhere in New York, and Vic never got to finish. But it was nice that a majority of them went to the same high school, it was great to bond over teachers they hated.

She was just waiting for the others to arrive so they could go over what their next steps would be in the case. She also knew that Bird had gotten his hands on the weapon Dead had used during the Atlanta opening, so she hoped they would have more information on the weapon's origin.

“A-19: Green Lantern” the system rang out. She and Joey looked at eachother and Joey quickly began to pack up his stuff.

Titans A and Kara had been surprised that Torchie agreed to come back to the case. Donna was so sure he was gonna say no, he looked like he was gonna say no. But he said yes, and he agreed to meet up with them to plan the rest of the case.

“Joey you don’t have to leave” Donna said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes I do” he signed.

“What, you don’t like him?” Donna asked, feeling very confused.

“Oh he's cool. You two are so awkward now, I don’t wanna be around for that” Joey signed and Donna pursed her lips.

She absolutely adored Joey. Titans A and Titans B practically raised him, since they kinda sorta kidnapped him but not really when he was 10. That had been an accident, but he had been living at Titans Tower ever since. He was getting tall now, which made Donna sad. Suddenly there was a pain in her chest.

She wondered what it would’ve been like with R-

The elevator door opened and out stepped Torchie already in uniform. He and Donna stared at one another for a couple of seconds.

“So” Torchie said, playing with his fingers. “Am I the first one here”?

“Yep” Donna said, popping the P. They stared at each other in silence again.

Joey ran out of the room, backpack over one shoulder.

“Damn, he really wanted to get out of here” Torchie said, watching Joey go. “Used the stairs and everything”.

It was dumb. She hated what had happened between them. They used to have such good chemistry and now they could barely be in the same room without it being awkward. Yeah, she did this to herself but- damn she missed him. So she was gonna do something about it. Or well, she would try.

“Come on” she said as she stood up. He looked confused but didn’t say anything as he followed. After the most awkward elevator ride ever, they made it to Titans A’s floor.

“Hey” Torchie said after they stepped off of the elevator, grabbing her by the wrist. His grip was loose, giving her the opportunity to take her hand back if she wanted to, as if she couldn’t have just yanked it out even when he was holding it at full strength with her enhanced strength if she wanted to. “The other day, I came to the Tower looking for you actually”.

“Me?” she asked, turning to him fully. He looked embarrassed and looked away from her, but didn’t let go of her.

“I wanted to thank you,” he said softly. “For what you did for my mom. And me. Being there for us”.

“Oh Torchie,” she said softly. She knew his Mom’s death had been extremely hard on him. “Of course, you don't have to thank me for that. I just wish I could’ve done more”.

There was no way she could’ve helped with funeral arrangements and things like that without knowing his identity, and she didn’t know if he would want her to even if she could, so he had to go through that alone. She didn’t know much about his civilian life, but she hoped he had someone to at least stand with him at the funeral.

“What you did already meant a lot to me. I don’t even think I could express how much it means to me” Torchie said honestly. Donna stared at him for a second before taking her arm back and wrapping him in a hug. He immediately hugged her back, melting a bit, and buried his face in her hair.

“M’ sorry” he said softly and she had no idea what he was apologizing for.

“I’m sorry” and they both knew exactly what she was apologizing for.

They stayed like that for a minute, and she kind of forgot who was holding who for a second. She pulled away first, but she didn’t really want to. What if they didn’t hug again?

“I wanna show you something” she said, grabbing his hand this time in the same loose grip he grabbed hers, and pulled him towards her room.

At Titans Tower each team had a floor. Titans A had the 12th floor, Titans B had the 11th and Titans West had the 10th. Each floor had six rooms, three on each side, with their floor having Roy, Wally, and Bird on one side and Garth and Donna on the other. The last room they used as a guest room. Before it was mostly for Kara, but Torchie used it the few times he stayed at the tower too.

She showed him the CDs.

“Wh- I didn’t think you listened to this kind of music” Torchie said as he looked through the CDs.

“You recommended them to me,” Donna reminded him. He paused.

“I didn’t think you’d actually listen to them,” he said honestly. “When did you start”?

“Right after you recommended them,” she said honestly. “I wanted to tell you when I finished. I finished”.

“Did you like them?” he asked after a minute. She raised an eyebrow.

“Torchie, I bought the albums they belonged to on CD” Donna laughed. He bit his lip to keep from smiling.

“Why CDs though? Could’ve bought them digitally” he said, flipping over a CD.

“Because you like CDs”. She had his full attention now. 

He had mentioned his preference for CDs when she was helping him unpack his apartment. He looked a bit shocked but then he laughed, handing her the CD’s back.

“Yeah. Yeah I do” he said, giving her a smile she didn’t think she’d see again. She smiled back and held out her hand.

“Wanna dance”? He hesitated for a moment before taking her hand with a grin.

She shuffled through her CDs until she found the one she wanted, and put the rest down before she grabbed her little CD player. They left her room hand in hand, but she unfortunately had to drop his to get the CD player set up.

“Nice taste” he said as “Basket Case” by Green Day started playing, holding out his hand to her. She grinned when she got an idea.

“Let’s share it” she said, grabbing the CD player and going to the intercom system. She plugged her CD player into it and suddenly Basket Case was blaring through the tower's speakers. Torchie laughed as she took his hand and they danced along to the beat.

It was the most fun she had in a while, swaying to the beat with him. He put his hands on her hips (which she didn’t even think of stopping), and it was great to hear him laugh again as they spun around. She always adored his laugh. The song finished but the next one didn’t play for some reason, she was left with her head against his chest and his arms around her waist.

Just a bit low. But she wasn’t complaining.

“I missed you” he said so softly she almost didn’t hear it. She looked up to see him looking at her, his face red where the mask didn’t cover it.

“I missed you too,” she replied, a bit breathless. They were really close to each other now, and he was holding her a bit tighter. They-

“Hey guys”. They both jumped away from each other to see Garth standing there, drinking a smoothie.

“Hi. Garth.” Donna said with a forced smile and he waved at her. He took a long and noisy sip of his smoothie.

“Anyways” Garth said after finishing the sip. “Wally is gonna get Roy in the next 15 minutes and Kara will be here in 5”.

“Thanks Garth. Let’s wait for them in the meeting room”.

Donna tried not to think about how he didn’t mention Bird. She forced herself not to think about how they were fighting.

And how it was her fault.

-

DICK was late. He knew he was late, but he had something super important to do.

He made a quick stop at the Hall of Justice to go to a meeting he didn’t think he would even get. Uncle Arthur had always been a busy man being the king of Atlantis and all, but now he was dealing with grief.

A death in the family.

It took them a bit to get it out of Garth when he first got back from the war in Atlantis, unfocused eyes and sluggish movements, but eventually he told them. He told them how he had been forced to fight his father to the death for a chance to be able to save his baby brother, how they had to fake it because they didn’t want to kill each other, but they both wanted to save the baby and were running out of time. How they got out but it didn’t matter.

Garth’s baby brother had died.

And Dick had said- Dick was a monster.

But it didn’t stop there. Arthur Jr.’s death wasn’t being handled well. Uncle Arthur and Mera- it wasn’t looking good for their marriage. And poor Garth was trapped in the middle of all that.

Dick was mad about the whole Titans West thing, but he didn’t have to go that far. Dick was hurting, but Garth was hurting too. How could he forget that?

“Nightwing” Uncle Arthur said as he entered the small meeting room. He had a tired smile on his face, and Dick could tell it was forced. He did not look good, and Dick wished he could do more.

“Hey! Thanks for meeting with me” Dick said as Uncle Arthur sat down. “I promise I won’t take much of your time”.

Dick had taken up a lot of Uncle Arthur’s time already. He had been to every League meeting so far, not missing one, and Titans A had been the subject of some of those.

“It’s alright. You told me this was important, so of course I’m here” Uncle Arthur replied.

“It’s about Garth,” Dick continued. Arthur looked panicked and Dick felt bad for his phrasing.

“Did something happen? Is he alright”?

“He’s fine! Physically! Uh, he and I got into a fight the other day and I said something and- he’s not really doing okay” Dick tried, at a loss for how to say it. “I know you’re busy, and I know you're dealing with your own stuff in your own way but- Garth really needs you. He feels abandoned but he doesn’t want to bother you or Mera about it”.

Dick was 100% overstepping. What he was telling Uncle Arthur, Garth had told them in secret. But he couldn’t let Garth keep suffering. Besides, Garth was already upset with him, he could take more hurt if that meant Garth could have some happiness.

“I- you’re right” Uncle Arthur said with a sigh. “I have been neglecting Garth. It’s not an excuse, but I've been so wrapped up with-”.

Dick nodded. He wouldn’t force him to say it.

Uncle Arthur had to leave quickly after that, receiving a call about something in Atlantis. But he promised Dick that things would change, and thanked him for being such a good friend to his son. But Dick didn’t feel like a good friend.

Jason climbed out from under the table, dressed in his Robin uniform.

“I heard all of it,” Jason said as he took Uncle Arthur’s seat. “I think you did good. Garth might be angry, but he’ll understand. You’re just trying to help”.

“Thanks Robin,” Dick said softly. They were in a private meeting room, but Bruce had drilled into both of them that they were to never use their real names in uniform no matter what.

“You should get to your meeting,” Jason said, pointing at the clock. “Your friends aren’t gonna be happy if you’re late again”.

“You’re right. Thanks for staying here and backing me up” Dick said as he stood. “You’ll get home okay”?

“I always do,” Jason smiled and Dick nodded. Jason was capable, he would be fine.

Dick zetaed to Titans Tower and took the elevator to the meeting room on the 13th floor.

“Late” Roy called when he walked in. Everyone was already seated, a seat at the center of the table the only available one.

Dick had to pause. They were almost exactly the original 7 Justice League members, with the exception of switching Martian Manhunter out for Green Arrow with Roy. They even sat in a similar formation.

Dick sat in the middle with Kara to his left, the opposite of how Bruce and Uncle Clark sat, but Donna sat to his right which is where Aunt Diana sat. To Kara’s left Wally, and next to him was Roy, similar to how Uncle Barry and Ollie sat. To Donna’s right was Garth, which was where Uncle Arthur sat. But instead of Torchie sitting between Wally and Roy like how Uncle Hal sat in between Uncle Barry and Ollie, Torchie sat on Garth’s right.

“Sorry” Dick apologized before taking his seat. “Bat stuff”.

“It’s always Batstuff” Wally joked, but Dick could still see the room was tense. He would ignore it for now.

“Thanks for coming, everyone. Now that all of us are here working together, we can go over the rest of the plan for the Toyman case”.

Winslow Schott, aka Toyman, had gotten out of jail for good behavior and decided he wanted to turn over a new leaf, using his abilities to open multiple toy stores across the US. The League gave the case to Titans A, Supergirl, and Green Lantern to see if Schott was using this as a front for his next plot.

The first opening had been in Dallas, Texas, but had been interrupted by a high tech suit bursting through the mall. The suit itself hadn’t been too much of a problem at first, but it had destroyed the infrastructure of the mall which was full of civilians. It hadn’t been good, and there had been too many civilians around for all of them to focus on the suit and its pilot, so they had to split up. Then it had turned on its Kryptonite attachments and everything had gotten even worse from there. They had been unable to get the suit or find out who the pilot was.

The second opening had been in Miami, Florida. There hadn’t been an attack there, leaving them to believe the attack had been a one off thing, but they hadn’t gotten any information on Schott and what he was doing at that event either. Torchie and Wally had been key parts of that plan, but they had disappeared for a while. Dick had been so sure something had happened to them, that they had- but they had reappeared and Dick had tore into them for abandoning the objective, for not answering their comms, for scaring him.

He could tell that experience had shaken some of Wally’s confidence.

Then there was the most recent opening in Atlanta, Georgia. Floyd had been right in his assessment of the weapon, and Dick couldn’t find anything that could lead him to who supplied or built the thing, so it was at the Batcave right now. Dick was gonna have Tim and Babs look it over, see if they can get another perspective, and give Tim something cool to do.

“The next opening is in Los Angeles, California on the 13th of December, and the last opening will be in New York, New York on the 26th of December” Dick continued. “Now we know that these attacks are planned and targeted, so we will have to keep our guard up. Whoever did this is targeting Kryptonians, targeting Kara and Uncle Clark, and they’re doing it well”.

“I think it's obvious who’s doing this, Bird” Roy said, eyebrow raised. Dick sighed.

“I know, but we can’t really move in without any evidence, and we have nothing linking him to the attacks,” Dick explained, trying to keep his frustration out of his voice. “Luthor hasn’t tried anything since he got out of prison last year. Even his business is clean”.

“Luthor is a big problem for the League, even when we were kids they didn’t want us anywhere near him” Kara said. “If it is Luthor, what are we gonna do”?

It was true, the League didn’t like any of the younger heroes to be anywhere near Luthor. It was like the one thing they weren’t allowed to do, even to the point where they weren’t allowed to patrol Metropolis by themselves, but it never really mattered before because they never really ran into Luthor or patrolled Metropolis anyways.

But Kara wasn’t asking because of the rules. She was testing him.

“We keep going. We’re not gonna tell the League anything”.

Chapter Text

Early September, -xxx1

KYLE felt like he was back in school.

When he was younger he had been bullied a lot, and making friends had been pretty hard until he started university. It had been easier to reinvent himself in a place where no one knew him and he could start over. But now, he felt like he was being pulled back into a place he had been so certain he’d been free from.

The League didn’t like him, didn’t trust him, and Kyle wasn’t really sure why. Like he kinda knew, he had fought and imprisoned Parallax, a former Green Lantern who had worked with the League before going rogue. But it was frustrating. They weren’t even giving him a chance. What had he done to deserve that?

It wasn’t like he was getting shoved into lockers or getting his sketchbook ripped apart like he had as a kid, no one was calling him a nerd or making fun of the accent he quickly learned to drop, but he felt so isolated. No one would really talk to him or let him ask any questions. 

Oliver and Wally were the worst. Oliver wasn’t even on active duty at the moment as he was still recovering from Parallax’s first attack, but he was around the hall often as they discussed who would stand in for him for the time being. He was always reminding Kyle that he wouldn’t be as good as his predecessor Hal Jordan, and that he wasn’t worthy of being called Green Lantern. And Wally? Kyle was pretty sure the dude was seeking him out, giving him a worse version of Oliver’s reminders. And what he had said earlier that day-

Diana looked at him sadly, and Kyle guessed she was looking for her old friend. But she was always on guard near him, never rude but- she definitely didn’t trust him. Arthur and J’onn tended to avoid him, once again not rude but clearly didn’t trust him either. Batman was very clear on his distrust of Kyle, always analyzing him when they were in the same room. 

Clark was nice enough but it was awkward. Kyle appreciated him trying though, because if Superman hated him? Kyle didn’t know what he would do. As for Dinah, he really didn’t get to interact with her much. He guessed she was busy with something, but she had thrown a few smiles his way.

The point was, the League was acting like they were high schoolers and Kyle was the weird new kid no one asked for. Because Kyle was the weird new kid no one asked for. But honestly, he didn’t trust them either. He didn’t give them his secret identity, and even if they did ask about his life, he would just lie about it. They didn’t need to like him, and he didn’t need to like them, they just needed to work together. He just wished they would answer his questions. He had so many questions about the Corps, and Ganthet, and the ring and- he had questions about everything.

The League meeting finished and Kyle was quick to get out of the room, wanting to be away from everyone. Ever since Alex had died, he had been so lonely, but loneliness seemed better than hanging with people who didn’t want him there.

He hoped that didn’t change, he didn’t know who he would go to.

“Green Lantern”! Kyle paused and turned to see Dinah jogging over to him. “Hey could we talk for a second”?

“Uh, yeah sure” Kyle said, hoping he wouldn’t regret this. He really should’ve said no and made some excuse, like bedazzling his turtle or something, but he was honestly curious. And maybe there was a part of him that was craving some human interaction that wasn’t being glared at or told he wasn’t enough. He followed her deeper into the Hall.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to have this conversation but I needed to make sure everything was ready” Dinah said, tossing a genuine smile over her shoulder.

“Huh?” Kyle asked like the intelligent man he was. 

“I’m sorry about the others, it’s been- it really did come out of nowhere, what happened with Hal” Dinah said sadly. “He was a good man and a good friend. He would’ve liked you”.

“Really?” Kyle asked, since he had only been hearing the opposite of that. “That’s- that’s honestly nice to know”.

He wanted to be worthy of the ring, to be worthy of being a Green Lantern. Hal had been, and if he would’ve liked Kyle- He hoped she wasn’t just being nice. Maybe she wanted a favor only Green Lantern could do for her.

“After this how about we grab lunch together, my treat? We can get to know each other, well as much as we can without your identity getting revealed” Dinah suggested as she stopped in front of one of the smaller meeting rooms. Kyle hesitated.

“Why?” he asked, trying not to tense up. She looked sad.

“You look lonely kid,” she told him. He was. He was so lonely. He had no one to talk to after Alex died, and now with this whole secret identity thing he didn’t think he would ever get close with anyone again. But that would be his punishment for letting her die.

“Okay, yeah. We can get lunch after- wait what are we doing?” She smiled, not cruelly, but like she was about to blow his mind. 

“I want you to introduce you to someone” she said opening the meeting room door and Kyle poked his head in, realizing a bit late that it was not empty. “Green Lantern, meet Guy Gardner, a former Green Lantern of Earth”.

-

December 13th, -xxx1

“There will be two groups,” Nightwing said as he pulled up a map of the area on the screen. They were going over the plan one final time. “Flash, Red Arrow, Troia, and Tempest will be down on the floor in disguise. Flash is gonna go for Schott’s personal computer again, Troia and Red Arrow will keep on the lookout for anything suspicious in the area, and Tempest will keep an eye on Schott”.

“Supergirl, Green Lantern, and I will be on this rooftop here. We'll keep our eyes on the surrounding area in case we can stop an attack before it happens” Nightwing continued, and KYLE knew he was thinking of the attack in Texas. “I will go in first, and as our heavy hitters, Supergirl and Green Lantern will be our back up”.

Kyle tried not to feel flattered at being called a heavy hitter by Nightwing. Like, of course he was a heavy hitter, the ring made him a heavy hitter.

“Focus on your objective, and keep in contact with comms. It’s important that we do well. We fought to get this case back, we have to prove that it was a good decision. I want the League to know the bare minimum, and I don't want to have to ask them for anything” Nightwing said and everyone nodded. Kyle wouldn’t mention that he was part of the League. Kinda, sorta. Maybe?

Maybe he wasn’t now that Hal was back.

The Los Angeles mall was another outdoor mall like the Florida one. Kyle sat on the rooftop next to Kara, overlooking his designated area with binoculars in search of anything malicious.

“In position” Wally said over comms. Kyle had no idea where his original one was, so they gave him an extra one they had as a loan.

Unlike his original com device, this one wasn’t set up at all besides being able to talk on a single designated channel. His other one had been set up and personalized to him. He could easily switch between the Justice League’s channel and the one with Titan’s A and Kara, and he even had one with Guy and John. It also had the ability to send text messages for said groups or any one else in the database through the touch screen comm device, and was super encrypted. It was used for mission talk only of course, and the whole thing was connected to the Leagues system. There was even a ping system set up, giving people the ability to ping others based on person, team, or category.

He needed to find his. If they didn’t set up another one for him he would be stuck with this lame one.

“All right, starting,” Nightwing said. He was on the other side of the rooftop, but Kyle could still hear him over comms. “And- done. Go for it”.

“Affirmative” Wally responded. Kyle wanted to mock him so bad, but he didn’t. He really wanted to though.

Kyle kept lookout over his area, and thankfully he saw nothing out of the ordinary. It had been a while since he had been back in LA, the last time being for his mom’s funeral. He loved his place in New York and the little community he built, but he did kind of miss LA. He grew up and spent most of his life in LA, he’s been to the mall they were over looking several times, he knew his favorite places like the back of his hand-

But everything he had in LA was gone.

“Check in,” Nightwing said after a bit.

“Nothing suspicious,” Donna responded.

“Drive’s still doing its thing” Wally said.

“Still watching him. No interesting information” Garth said. Despite the fact that Kyle could easily tell Nightwing and Garth were in some kind of argument, Garth responded in the same tone as everyone else. Kyle was glad that they could put whatever happened aside for the mission.

Nightwing had spent the last couple of days reminding everyone how important this mission was, that they couldn’t mess it up, and everyone was stressed. They wanted this to go well, they needed it to.

And it did. Nothing happened.

There were no attacks. No one was attacked by evil toys or by some random bad guy with an anti-Kryptonian device. But nothing good happened either. Garth didn’t get any new information on Schott, and neither Roy or Donna found anything of use. The only thing they had was Wally’s flash drive.

“Here it is” Wally said proudly when they all arrived at the meeting room in Titans Tower. Nightwing took the flash drive with a smile and plugged it into the computer that they had in there, and all seven of them excitedly stared at the huge monitor as Nightwing opened the drive.

It was empty.

“What?” Wally cried out in disbelief. “No, there has to be something there! Check again”.

“Wally, there’s no hidden information. All the information would be there” Donna said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe he just got a new computer and hasn’t put any files on it yet?” Kyle offered, feeling bad. Wally looked really distraught, and Kyle didn’t really understand why.

Donna locked eyes with Kyle and gave him an appreciative smile that caused butterflies in Kyle’s stomach before turning back to Wally.

“I’m pretty sure that even if the computer didn’t have any files, we still would’ve gotten some kind of information” Roy pointed out. Kyle felt his face heat up at his stupidity as Garth, Kara, and Donna gave Roy a look.

“But I did it right, I know I did!” Wally said, slamming his hands on the table. Kyle glanced over at Nightwing, who hadn’t said a thing. He was still staring at the monitor, his back to them.

“It waited for it to load and everything! And I didn’t just take it out, I ejected it and-”.

“Wally,” Nightwing said finally and everyone went quiet. Nightwing turned around with a soft smile on his face. “It’s okay. Things happen”.

“No! I did it right, I know I did, I-” Wally argued, but stopped suddenly when he caught Kyle’s eye. Wally glared at him before making a frustrated noise and storming out of the room.

“I’ll talk to him” Donna said quickly, leaving the room too. Everyone stood there quietly for a moment, and then Nightwing sighed.

“You guys are dismissed. No post mission debrief because nothing really happened, and there’s no new information to go over” Nightwing said. “The next opening is on the 26th, but we’ll meet before then to go over the plan”.

They all left pretty quickly. Kyle had wanted to talk to Donna before he left, but she was busy so he would just have to try again next time. He flew back to his apartment, landing in his usual out of the way area and walking the rest of the way. He said hi to Lee and Li when he passed them, but didn’t stop to talk, quickly entering his apartment.

He had gotten a couple commissions thankfully. He didn’t need rent money thanks to Oliver, but he still needed money for other things. Plus, it wasn’t a bad idea to increase his savings.

Kyle preferred traditional art over digital art, but for work he did digital art 95% of the time because that was how most people wanted things. It was easier to email a file than send a canvas, faster too. It was also cheaper, since he would have to mail everything because he worked from home. So he painted and sketched mostly for personal projects and for fun, the occasional local job, or to get an idea or concept for work.

He sat at his drawing desk, pulled out his tablet and frowned when he realized it wasn’t charged. God, the poor thing was probably on its last leg, he hoped it at least worked long enough for him to do these commissions. They thankfully weren’t for Christmas, so if it was dead, he has until mid January to get a new one and get these commissions done. He put it to charge and turned to his sketchbooks.

Well, he had two sketchbooks and a sketchpad. The sketch pad was for work related things, while one of the sketchbooks was just for silly things. That one was the one he had showed Hal when he was still crashing at his apartment. That one was safe to share, and it’s why he had brought it to Titans Tower in the first place. The last sketchbook though, that was his personal sketchbook.

If anyone were to look at that one, he would actually die. It was like a diary of sorts, where he drew out his darker or sadder thoughts to get it out of his system. It looked a bit demonic in his opinion, filled with nightmares and bad memories, and every time he finished a personal sketchbook he would burn it.

His most recent additions to it were mostly about Parallax.

He grabbed his sketchpad and got to work. A bit after he had finished concepts of each commission and was trying to revive his tablet, there was a knock at his window. He jumped a bit, too engrossed in his resuscitation attempt, and almost answered the window without covering his face.

“Oh, hey Kara” Kyle greeted after making sure his hat covered enough of his face. He opened his window and stepped aside so she could come in. She was wearing jeans and a long sleeved gray shirt, a pair of glasses dangling from the neckline.

“I would say sorry for dropping in unannounced, but I texted you a billion times” Kara said. “Even pinged you through the system”.

“Oh sorry, I was working,” Kyle said, gesturing to his desk. “And then I was seeing if my drawing tablet could be saved but things aren’t looking good. Might have to dip into my savings to get another”.

“Ouch. I’m guessing you need it for work?” Kara asked. Kyle waved her off.

“Yeah, but I have time. So, what’s up” Kyle asked, leaning back against his couch.

“If you weren’t busy, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out, go for a drink” she asked him. He suddenly realized it was later in the afternoon than he had thought.

“Sure, I’ll meet you outside” he said. Another day he wouldn’t have to step foot in his kitchen was a victory for him. Kara nodded and flew out the window.

Kyle grabbed his keys and wallet and went downstairs to find Kara. Younger Kyle would’ve died if he knew that one day he’d be friends with Supergirl. He had been a big Superman fan when he was younger (and still kind of was but he was not going to mention that) and had never thought he would even meet Superman, much less become coworkers with him and go to bars with his cousin.

They walked to the same bar they usually went to when they hung out, talking about stupid things. At the bar they chose the farthest table from the actual bar, and Kara went to get her drink first. They had to do it separately because Kyle had to take off his hat when they checked his id.

His very amazing and credible fake id. It got him through university and several bars and clubs afterwards. Really, it was the only reliable thing in his life.

Kara ended up with a Moscow Mule and Kyle a Vodka Redbull, both of them sharing a basket of wings.

They talked about their lives. Kara told him stories about Clark’s 7 year old son Jon and what he was up to (Kyle met the kid once. He was a happy kid that looked a lot like his dad), and about how she’s been teaching him some Kryptonian things. Kyle in turn told her about his friends in space and the stupid stuff they did.

“Speaking of friends” Kara said when he finished a story. “You and Donna”?

Kyle felt his face heat up, and he hoped she couldn’t see it due to the darkness of the bar and his hat.

“What about me and Donna?” Kyle said, trying to play it cool. She gave him a look and he sighed. “I dunno. We’re cool again. You know, after what happened. And we got close, like physically close. I don’t know what would’ve happened next if Garth hadn’t walked in”.

He didn’t know what he wanted to happen next.

“Cockblocked by Garth?” Kara asked, amused. Kyle sighed.

“He was so smug about it too” Kyle said miserably and Kara laughed.

“Are you gonna make a move on Donna?” Kara asked, no longer teasing but genuine. Kyle paused, playing with his straw.

“I don’t know,” he said after a while. Kara’s gaze softened.

“I’m pretty sure she likes you too” Kara said and Kyle’s face burned even more. He didn’t usually get so flustered but like- Donna was Donna. She was gorgeous and perfect and kind and out of his league by miles.

The last time he felt like this was with Alex-

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant- Titans A is being weird. I wouldn’t wanna put more on her plate, you know?” Kyle said quietly, knowing Kara would easily be able to hear him.

He didn’t tell her that he also felt bad trying to date someone else. Alex died in August, was this too soon? Would Alex get mad at him? It was the main reason Kyle didn’t make any kind of move on Donna when he first realized he had feelings for her a bit before he left. He knew they had chemistry but- he didn’t know what to do about it.

He thought of Donna often after he left Earth. He missed her, even though she had hurt him. And he missed Alex too.

It was a lot.

“Did you just notice?” Kara said with a frown. “They’ve been being weird since before you came along but- well I guess they were better at hiding it before you left”.

“Why? Did it get worse because I left” Kyle asked. He didn’t think he was that important. Kara shook her head.

“No it’s- it’s been a difficult year, especially for them” Kara said. “It’s like too many things happened at once and now everyone’s barely hanging on. It was easier for them to pretend in September because they had more support then. Garth hadn’t been directly affected by all the shit that’s been happening this year until then”.

“What happened?” Kyle asked cautiously. Kara looked sad.

“I’ll tell you since it’s not a secret, you just weren’t here when the news broke” Kara said, sighing heavily. “Arthur’s other son, Garth’s brother, died”.

Kyle’s heart sank.

“Oh. Oh I-“ Kyle tried to form words. He had never met the little dude, but Arthur had proudly shown pictures before League meetings, and-

“That’s devastating” was all Kyle could say. Kara nodded.

“Now Donna is the only one who hasn’t been directly affected and she’s doing her best to keep everyone afloat but” Kara gestured with her hands. “We’re all worried about Bird though. He doesn’t really like to share his pain, and he’s been acting weirder and weirder. It’s why everyone is so hesitant around him. We don’t know when he’s gonna snap. He kinda did with his fight with Garth, but nothing really came out of it so far”.

Nightwing? Kyle thought that Nightwing was completely fine, the poster boy of doing great. But Kara knew him better than Kyle, so he had no choice but to believe her.

“How about you?” she asked before getting closer and whispering. “You mentioned a war”?

“Oh, yeah” Kyle said. The Lanterns had already given their report to the League, Hal leaving out any mentions of Parallax for Kyle’s sake, so Kyle could talk about it freely now.

He told her the basics. They fought Yellow Lanterns and their thing was fear. They had suffered heavy losses on their side, and the Yellows had tried to take it to Earth but they had stopped them in the end. He didn’t mention Parallax, because even though he trusted Kara, he didn’t know how she felt about the whole thing.

Parallax was a taboo thing for most of the League, Kyle getting to see first hand how the League treated Hal now because of it. Kyle could easily see how distrustful Batman was, how awkward Clark, Diana, Arthur, and J’onn were. Only Barry, Dinah, and Oliver acted normal. How would Kyle be treated if they knew he had been possessed by the same entity? He really liked Kara, she was a great friend. It would suck to lose her. And she would tell everyone.

He didn’t want them to think he was weak.

Sodam, Sora, and Tu knew, and they hadn’t treated him any differently. But that was different. They understood what Parallax was, and how it worked. Kara probably didn’t.

“And you’re okay?” Kara asked, Kyle hesitated. He could trust Kara, and Hal, John, and Guy were telling him how he should reach out more and tell his friends things-

“I might have a bit of trauma,” Kyle admitted quietly, playing with his drink again and not really looking at her. It’s not easy telling strong people you feel weak, and Kyle’s never really had to do that before he got the ring. “The other Lanterns have been a great help though. I’ve been supported with it, it’s just- it’s different. I feel weird, not like myself. Like- I’m not supposed to be like this”.

Kyle didn’t mean to say that last part but it just came out. Kyle wasn’t like his fellow Green Lantern’s. He wasn’t chosen for his ability to overcome great fear, his willpower, he just happened to be there when Ganthet landed. He worked hard to be strong and prove to everyone and himself that he could do it. He didn’t want people to know he was struggling, and he hated that he was even struggling in the first place.

“When I had to leave home, it wasn’t easy,” Kara said, and Kyle knew she meant Krypton. He glanced up to see that she wasn’t looking at him, and had a far away look in her eye. “Everything here was so different from home, the people, the language, the culture. And I had no one to share my pain with. Clark was raised here, how could I talk to him about home and how I was feeling? He wouldn’t understand”.

Kyle felt sad about that. He could maybe imagine a bit better than others what it would be like to go to a planet with a completely different culture and language, he was a Green Lantern, but to not be able to go home? To be basically stuck there? Kyle’s heart ached.

“At first I couldn’t listen to loud noises and flashes of light without panicking and remembering my home being destroyed, I thought my new home was being destroyed. I used to hide for hours during thunderstorms or when hearing fireworks, and I wouldn't tell anyone about it. I was always so afraid and I hated it” Kara said bitterly, and Kyle had never felt so understood- “One day Clark found me and when I told him, he was confused on why I didn’t tell him before. When I told him how I felt, he told me that he didn’t need to understand to support me. He didn’t need to understand to care”.

She was looking at him now.

“I don’t need to understand to support you. I don’t need to understand to care” she said, every word careful. “We might not be writing the same book, but we have similar chapters”.

Kara was strong, one of the strongest people Kyle knew, and to know she had been afraid- that she was sharing a piece of herself so vulnerable to let him know he wasn’t alone-

“Kara?” He asked softly. “Can you tell me about your home”.

She looked taken aback but then she smiled.

“I’d love to”.

-

December 14th, -xxx1

DICK sighed as he leaned back in his chair. He had been searching the system for hours trying to find out who could have given Floyd the gun, but so far, nothing. He really didn’t want to be in the cave right now, still mad at Bruce for trying to bench him and keep him from patrolling even in Bludhaven, but he needed the B- Batman’s computer. Luckily Bruce hadn’t tried to talk to him, just stared at him with blank face before he left the cave.

“Dick?” Tim asked as he entered the cave. He smiled when he saw Dick, excited. “Sorry I’m late, I wanted to see my parents off before they left”.

“They left? Will they be back before Christmas?” Dick asked, not wanting Tim to spend Christmas alone. The 13 year old waved him off.

“Oh yeah, they’ll only be gone for like, 5 days” Tim said as put his bag on a bench near the mats. “They were supposed to travel again after that but mom said no”.

“That’s good” Dick said. “School finished yesterday right? How was your first semester at Gotham Academy”?

“Different from the boarding schools I’ve been to, but not bad” Tim said with a shrug. He knew Tim used to go to boarding school, but had asked his parents if he could switch to Gotham Academy. It was easier for him to be Robin that way, with Bruce having a lot of influence at the school if Tim were to be absent for any reason.

“Going to Gotham Academy is a Robin Right of Passage you know” Dick teased. “Speaking of a Robin Right of Passage, it’s time for you to partake in another one: helping out in other people’s cases”!

“Who’s? Yours?” Tim asked excitedly. Dick took a Waynetab with the Toyman case file and Dick’s notes on it, hanging it to Tim.

“Read this, it’s my current case with Titans A” Dick instructed. “When you're done, I’ll give you your task”.

Tim nodded excitedly and sat on the floor next to him to start reading, and Dick went back looking over who could’ve given Floyd the weapon. Tim didn’t take long to finish reading.

“What are you doing?” Tim asked and Dick sighed.

“Floyd said a woman gave him the weapon. I’m trying to see if I can narrow it down to anyone in the database” Dick told him. Tim got this look on his face, and Dick could basically see the gears turning in his brain.

“In the case file it said that Floyd said he didn’t recognize her, so she couldn’t have been anyone notable” Tim said. “Or she’d have to be new. Maybe whoever did this sent like, their intern or something. Or someone disposable? I don’t think any small-time villain has the capability or resources to try to take out Kryptonians, so it has to be someone higher up”.

“You’re not wrong,” Dick said, turning back to the computer, scrolling back to the top of the database and taking out the filters.

“I think it’s Lex,” Jason said, coming to sit in the empty chair at Dick’s side. “Trying to kill Kryptonians? That’s so him”.

“It could be Lex,” Dick agreed, not taking his eyes off of the computer. “But we can’t go in without any proof. If we’re wrong he wins, and if we don’t have enough evidence then he gets away with this”.

“Do you want me to look for proof?” Tim asked. Dick thought about it.

“Maybe I’ll have you do that later, right now I want you to do something else for me” Dick said standing up. Tim and Jason followed him deeper into the cave.

“This is what Floyd used in Atlanta” Dick said, gesturing to the gun laying on the table. “I want you to examine it and see if you can trace a dealer and supplier”.

“With how hightech it is, you’re still doubting it can be Luthor?” Tim asked.

“It’s not that I don’t think he did it, but I need evidence. There's no proof that he’s the supplier or the builder. Just because it’s high tech, doesn’t mean it’s Luthor” Dick said. Tim nodded.

“I’ll see what I can do” Tim said.

“Are we gonna try to trace when Floyd got the weapon? Then we can like, check the camera in the area and see if we can get a glimpse of the lady and try to-” Jason started but was cut off by a text alert. Dick pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh shoot” Dick said as he unlocked his phone.

It was a text from Garth.

we need to talk

Dick tried not to grimace. It was hard to convey tone over text, and those four words could mean a lot. Was Garth ready to talk because he wanted to work things out? Or did he want to talk because he found out from Uncle Arthur that Dick had gone and spoken to him behind his back?

“Everything okay?” Tim asked, looking up from where he was working on the weapon.

“A text from Garth,” Dick explained. What should he reply?

“Garth hates him now” Jason added. Dick rolled his eyes.

“Garth and I got into a fight. I said something I really shouldn’t have, and we haven't been talking for a few days. Now he wants to talk” Dick said, fingers hovering over his keyboard.

“That's good though. You can apologize” Jason said. Then he paused. “Or maybe Uncle Arthur talked to him and he’s about to scream at you for talking to his dad about his personal feelings behind his back. That would really ruin your friendship I think. Why did you do that, maybe that wasn’t a good idea”.

Dick frowned, starting to agree. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Uncle Arthur.

“It’s good he wants to talk. Maybe he’s cooled off and it’ll be easier for you to apologize” Tim said. “Anything you can do to make it up to him”?

“Maybe you can be honest with him with how you’ve been feeling” Jason added. “You owe him that”.

“I- yeah. Yeah” Dick said nodded. “Thanks Jason. Tim”.

Tim looked over at him and nodded as Jason laughed.

“Just don’t screw it up” Jason called out as Dick went to the locker rooms, quickly typing back a response to Garth.

yeah. u at tower?

yes

be there asap

Dick changed out of his casual clothes and into his Nightwing suit, before heading to the zeta.

“Bye! Let me know what you find on that weapon, Timmy” Dick called out.

“Okay! Bye” Tim called back.

“A-22: Nightwing” the system called out when he entered the Tower. No one was in the common area of Titans A’s floor when he got there, and he assumed that Wally was at Uncle Barry’s, Roy was at Hal’s since Torchie was back at his own apartment, and Donna was at her place in New York.

At least he and Garth wouldn’t be interrupted. He actually wondered if this was on purpose. He knocked on Garth’s door.

“Come in”.

Dick entered Garth’s room to see him in the tank that was in there instead of a bed. He was leaning over the side, his elbows resting on the edge as he gazed at Dick.

“Hi” Garth greeted, his voice soft. His expression didn’t look mad, but his entire body was tense. Dick sat cross legged a couple of feet away from the tank. It was enough of a distance that Dick wouldn’t get wet if Garth moved suddenly or got out, but close enough that they could talk.

“Hi” Dick said. Garth stared at him in silence for a bit, his eyes sad. Dick wished he knew what he was thinking, and why he was looking at him like that.

“You talked to my dad”. And there it was.

“I- yeah I did” Dick admitted, guilt churning in his stomach. “I know I overstepped, and I’m so sorry Garth. And I’m so sorry about what I said, so I just-“.

“I’m not mad” Garth said, sounding tired. Dick just stared at him, confused.

“You’re not? But Garth, you have a right to be mad. You don’t have to bury your feelings for me. I can take it”. I deserve it, Dick wanted to say, but for some reason he felt like he shouldn’t.

“But I know you Bird. I know your intentions, how you think, even if you don’t think I do. I know you just did it to help me, you always just do things to help us, even if that means hurting yourself” Garth said. “You shouldn’t have done it, I don’t like that you told him, but I’m not mad. Not anymore”.

“I still shouldn’t have said what I said. I didn’t mean to- you know” Dick said, because he just couldn’t say it. He didn’t want to say it, it was an ugly truth.

Garth reached out to him and Dick gave him his hand, Garth gripping it firmly. For a moment, Dick was 11 and Garth was 9 again, and it was the day they first met. Garth had been hesitant, staring up at Dick and Donna from the saltwater pool uncertainty, and no matter how much Uncle Arthur had tried to get Garth (who didn’t even have a name at that point) to come socialize with them he would stay in the water. Dick had always been determined though, and had finally gotten Garth to interact with him and Donna by throwing pool toys in the water. 

They would throw the toys in and Garth would retrieve them, throwing them out onto the edge before swimming away in a hurry. Then he started to poke his hand out near the edge and set them down. Then he would come out of the water a bit and set them down. Then he would hand it directly to Dick or Donna, eager to go again and show off a little trick as he did.

Dick had been ready to grab the toy again when Garth had grabbed his hand instead, using Dick to pull himself out of the water and sit on the edge with them. Dick remembered big purple eyes, joyful laughter, and a smile that could light up the room. And then he thought about the haunted purple eyes, the desperate sobs and the hesitant looks that Garth wore a lot now.

“I’m worried about you,” Dick said honestly, remembering what Jason had suggested. He once again wished they were kids again, free from tragedy. Garth titled his head to the side, looking into Dick’s soul.

“I was gonna say the same thing about you” Garth said and Dick was taken aback. Dick was fine! “You always take the weight of the world on your shoulders, you put our needs above your own. But you’re hurting too. Let us help you, please.”.

Dick didn’t know what to say. He was fine, why did they think he wasn’t? He then realized that once again, he wasn’t showing up enough for his team, his friends, his siblings. He let his emotions get the best of him and hurt Garth, he hasn’t been checking up on Roy or making sure Wally was feeling okay (especially after what happened with the mission), he was putting too much on Donna and hadn’t apologized to Kara- he never apologized to Torchie or made sure he was adjusting well to Earth again.

When was the last time he checked on anyone in Titans B, especially Kori, his girlfriend? He let himself spiral so much with the Titans West thing and getting the case back, that he hasn’t been supporting his friends. He was so stupid.

“I will” Dick promised and Garth smiled softly. “I’m sorry for what I said, I wasn’t thinking. And I’m sorry for going behind your back. I just get so worried about you guys, I want to help”.

“I know. It’s okay” Garth said. Then he grinned evilly. “Come here”!

Dick was suddenly in Garths arms, cold and wet as Garth dragged him into the tank. Dick laughed when Garth did, happy that Garth was happy. Dick could do this, he had to keep himself together to keep the Titans together.

There wouldn’t be a repeat of June. They couldn’t afford it.

Chapter Text

September, -xxx1

As a kid, WALLY was told not to use the word hate. It was a very strong word and shouldn’t be used lightly, he had been told. So Wally had thought about it, really taken his time with it, but there was no way around it.

Wally hated Four.

Four probably never worked for anything a day in his life, and here he was getting everything handed to him. He got the title of Green Lantern, got to replace Uncle Hal, and nobody batted an eye. He got to go on missions and patrols without having to do check-ins or have someone follow him around. He got to be on the Justice League as a part of the team, and Wally wasn’t even allowed to sit in on a meeting. Wally had been doing this for almost 10 years and was still being treated like a child, while Four had been doing this for less than a month and got to join the Justice League.

Wally was sitting outside the main meeting room working on homework. The League had a new case, and even though Wally could work with them, he wasn’t allowed in the meetings or to officially be on the team. 

“Hey” Connor said, sitting down across from Wally. “Anything yet”?

“No, they’re still talking” Wally sighed, abandoning his calc work in favor of leaning back in his chair.

Connor was stepping in for Ollie for a bit since Ollie had been injured in Parallax’s first attack. Like Wally, he was allowed to work with the League, but couldn’t officially be on the team. Both of them were successors, each of them taking on their predecessors' mantles but not given the respect that came with it. Though in Connor’s case, it made sense. He was 14 and he just started officially doing hero stuff this year. And Ollie was going to come back, Connor doing this was temporary. But Uncle Barry was d-

Wally swallowed hard.

He and Connor hung out in silence, just enjoying one another's company until the League finally came out. Wally immediately put his stuff away to give the League his undivided attention.

“Sorry Wally, Connor, but you won’t be on this one” Uncle Clark said sadly and Wally’s heart dropped. “It’s dangerous”.

“Oh, okay” Connor said, but Wally could hear the disappointment in his voice. Wally just nodded.

“I know it sucks, but next time okay?” Aunt Dinah sympathized and Wally just nodded again. The league separated, some going to the break room and others deeper into the Hall of Justice, but he could hear someone mention their mission would start later that night.

Rage boiled in Wally’s stomach. He came all the way over here for nothing? They wouldn’t let him join because it was dangerous ? Every part of being a hero was dangerous, this wasn’t fair! He had proved himself again and again and again and again and again and againandagainandagain - did they not think he was worthy of the Flash mantle? Is that why they wouldn’t let him? Wally bit his lip, trying to force those thoughts from his head. He could get better, he-

“What are you up to?” Four asked, looking over Connor’s shoulder. Connor looked up at Four with a smile.

“I’m doing an essay for my English class, and Wally’s doing math homework,” Connor explained.

Wally’s rage burned a little brighter, but he ignored it

“Oh, I didn’t know you were still in school. Where do you go?” Four asked. Wally grit his teeth as he looked over at Four and glared.

“Central City University” he ground out. And then- “You wouldn’t know about it, you’ve probably never even seen a University up close”.

Four laughed, a noise that grated Wally’s ears.

“I graduated already. I went to the University of Southern California if you have to know” Four shot back and Wally’s eyes widened. “So no, I haven’t heard of Central City University, but I actually went to a good school so-”.

Wally’s rage overflowed and he leapt forward, knocking Four to the ground and letting his fists fly.

He hated this guy. Four thought he was so much better than everyone, going to some stupid fancy school, already having graduated, getting a Green Lantern ring, replacing Uncle Hal, getting a seat on the League, talking shit about the school Uncle Barry went to-

Wally was caught by surprise when Four hit him back. It was with his non dominant hand, and his stupid arm things were nowhere to be seen. Wally doubled down, hitting him again and again until Four grabbed his hair and yanked . Wally gasped, not expecting that either as Four kicked to get himself free.

He couldn’t even fight correctly, but he got everything .

“Guys, stop ” Connor snapped, but Wally didn’t pay him any attention as he grabbed Four’s hair and yanked, because two could play at that game. If Connor wanted to separate them, he could, the kid was skilled enough.

The two of them continued throwing punches, neither using their abilities to help them. Wally had Four pinned, and Four couldn’t get himself out so he just fought back from that position. It wasn’t fair, Four didn’t deserve any of this. Why did Wally have to suffer while Four got everything? Wally hated hi-

Wally was suddenly being dangled in the air by his wrist. He growled, about to vibrate through whatever stupid construct Four had made, but he saw Four being held up in the same way. Wally turned his head a bit more to see Uncle Clark holding up each of them by their wrists. And he did not look happy.

“Explain,” he said in a low voice. “ Now ”.

-

December 17th, -xxx1

DONNA watched Titans West as they trained.

They were really good at what they each did. M’gann had a scary good control over her powers, and any mistakes she did make at this point were minor. Jackson had improved leaps and bounds since he had joined the Titans, and had gained back what he had lost in April pretty quickly. Joey wasn’t using his powers for this session for obvious reasons, but his hand to hand was insane for his age. That wasn’t much of a surprise though, she knew he had very good teachers.

And Connor- well Connor had been incredibly strong in his abilities since they had met him earlier this year. What happened in April didn’t affect his abilities at all, and despite the mental toll he was the most consistent of the group.

Everyone knew they were good. They were ready and had been for a while.

“You know” Donna said softly and Garth, who sat next to her, pulled his gaze from Titans West to look at her. “You didn’t have to take the fall for both of us”.

After what happened in April, Donna and Garth had taken over training Titans West. Other older Titans and Titans West’s mentors helped of course, but Donna and Garth were the ones who trained with them the most. It had been Donna who sent Titans West on that mission while Bird and Roy were out, but Garth decided to use only his code to approve the mission. Garth decided to take the fall.

“You’re our second in command Donna, and with what’s going on with Bird and the rest of us, you’ve been our backbone. If you and Bird started fighting- I don’t think we’d make it through” Garth admitted. “I also want to see Titans West succeed, and not just for Jackson”.

Donna looked back at Titans West and sighed.

“They’re really good individually, and they work well enough together, but not as good as they used to. It’s not a big thing but, it’s like there’s something holding them back” Donna said and Garth nodded.

“I think they need a leader,” Garth said and Donna nodded. There wasn’t a designated leader for Titans West currently. Nightwing had always been Titans A’s leader and the leader of the Titans as a whole. Titans B’s leader was Vic, but Titans West?

“Have you gained any ground with getting Jackson or Joey to take the leadership position?” Donna asked. They were the oldest two, and while Joey had the most experience, Jackson had a good head on his shoulders and would also make a good leader. Garth shook his head.

“They don’t want to,” Garth told her. “I don’t know why, they won’t tell me, but I have a couple of guesses”.

Yeah, Donna could guess why too. This year had really thrown a wrench in a lot of things with both the Titans and the League. There was nothing they could do but keep going.

“Great job you guys. That’s it for today” Donna said after they finished the training exercise. Joey, Jackson, and M’gann left, but Connor stayed behind.

“So” Connor said, readjusting his quiver. “What’s the plan”?

Connor had been the most involved in getting Titans West to be an official team. He voiced his opinion the most, he was the one who advocated for them to Dick and the League, and he was always on top of their plans and making his own.

“I’m sorry Connor, things are a bit fragile right now” Donna told him and Connor looked disappointed.

“But we aren't giving up on you guys” Garth promised. This was just a bump in the road. They would get past it.

“I know that Bird knows you guys are ready, he’s said it before” Donna reminded Connor, who nodded. “We just have to remind him”.

“We’ll find a way to get you guys off of probation for now at least” Garth said but Connor shook his head.

“Don’t focus on that. Us being on probation hasn’t changed anything” Connor said. “We’re basically always on probation. But I am sorry you and Nightwing are fighting because of us”.

“It’s not you or anyone else’s fault. It was bound to happen eventually, but the two of us talked it out and we’re fine now. Water under the bridge” Garth reassured him and Donna nodded.

It wasn’t really fine though. There was an unspoken tension between the five of them that Donna had assumed was gonna crack under pressure with Garth and Bird’s fight, but they just did the equivalent of slapping a bandaid on it and looking the other way. None of them wanted to mention the obvious to Nightwing, not wanting to upset him more, especially after what happened in June. They had to talk about it, they had to, but things were barely okay right now. They couldn’t afford to break.

Maybe Donna could talk to him about it after the Toyman case was over.

“All right, I’m gonna hit the showers. Let me know when there’s a plan, or I’ll let you know when I get any ideas” Connor said before leaving. Donna turned to Garth when she was sure Connor wouldn’t hear.

“You’re sure everything is fine with Bird?” Donna asked. “We’re gonna have to talk to him eventually, but that doesn't mean I can’t check on you in the meantime”.

“Really it’s fine. I know he didn’t mean it, I know him better than that. It just really hurts in the moment you know?” Garth said with a soft smile. “I do have to go though. I have something planned with my dad soon”.

“Have fun” Donna told him, happy Uncle Arthur and Garth would be spending some time together.

Donna knew Arthur jr.'s death weighed heavily on Garth, and that Mera and Uncle Arthur’s relationship being on the rocks was something he blamed himself for too. She hoped they could rally together as a family and grieve together. Grieving alone wasn’t helping any of them.

She and Garth went their separate ways, Garth leaving the Tower completely and Donna going back to her room. She didn’t have any clients today unfortunately. Work had been slow despite it being the holiday season, but maybe that was a good thing. She could dedicate more time to the case. For now, she took her time editing some other photos she took, personal projects. She didn’t know how long she had been working for when someone knocked on her door.

“Come in!” she called out as she saved her work. She heard someone open the door and walk in. “What’s up”?

She heard them knock on the wall and she turned quickly, realizing her mistake.

“Sorry Joey” she said, giving him her full attention. “What’s up”?

“You busy ?” He asked and she shook her head. “ Have you gotten your secret Santa gift yet” ?

“Fuck, I haven’t” Donna groaned.

Every year the Titans had a Christmas party a couple of days before Christmas Eve, and every year they did Secret Santa with varying degrees of success. Nightwing had been the one to decide they would be doing that tradition, so that everyone didn’t have to buy a gift for everyone. He thought he was cool or something. But then again he had threatened White Elephant, so it could’ve been worse.

She knew people still gifted within sub groups though, and she already had gifts for the boys, Kara, and Kori. But not for her Secret Santa.

“ I’ll tell you who I got if you tell me who you got ” Joey offered and she raised an eyebrow. “ Please? I’m having trouble with a gift idea”!

He rubbed a flat hand in circular motions over this chest over and over again, basically going “ pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease ”!

“I- yeah okay. I’m having trouble too” Donna admitted. “I got M’gann”.

M’gann was their newest Titan and Donna really didn’t know her that well yet. She felt like it should’ve been easier than it was to find her something since M’gann seemed to be interested in a lot, but Donna didn’t want to get her something random just because of that.

“I got Garth, ” Joey explained. “ See! We can help each other”!

“I like how you think,” Donna smirked. “Okay let’s brainstorm”.

Donna grabbed her laptop and sat on her bed, and Joey sat next to her. After maybe about an hour, she decided to get M’gann a starter crochet kit. Joey told her that M’gann was always excited to try new things and find new hobbies (especially crafts lately), so a crochet kit seemed like a good idea. Joey ended up getting Garth something from a jewelry brand that Donna and the others often did since it was made not to rust or tarnish.

All in all, it was a successful shopping experience for the both of them.

“ So about the Christmas Party ” Joey asked, his face mischievous, and Donna immediately got suspicious. “ Is Torchie coming? Like, is he a Titan”?

Donna paused. Were they inviting Torchie? Like it was Nightwing’s decision technically, but no one had brought it up before Joey. And that last part was a good question. Was Torchie a Titan? He fit in the age range. The oldest Titan was Vic who was gonna turn 23, and the youngest was M’gann who was 13. He went on missions with the Titans, he used to hang around the tower-

“I don’t know” Donna answered him honestly. Joey raised his hands but paused when his phone went off. He checked it and rolled his eyes.

“ Gotta go help put out a fire” Joey explained, then paused. “ Metaphorical! I’ll see you late r”.

That didn’t instill any confidence in her whatsoever. But let someone from Titans B do something about it. Their floor was closer to the Westies and Donna took the morning shift.

“A-19: Green Lantern”.

Donna blinked twice. Torchie didn’t tend to come to the Tower anymore outside of things for the case, and there was nothing scheduled for today. By the time she decided to get up and check what was up, he was already on their floor.

“Oh, hey” Torchie greeted with a smile. He was in his Lantern uniform.

“Didn’t expect to see you here today” she said, unable to help the smile that graced her face. He laughed, a bit embarrassed.

“I uh, kinda lost my com device? Well I didn’t really lose it, I just didn’t take it with me when I went into space and now I forgot where it is. Nightwing knows and gave me a loaner, but I should really find mine” Torchie explained. “I’ve ransacked my entire apartment and found nothing so I figured it might be here”.

“Any idea where it could be?” Donna asked.

“I was thinking maybe in the guest room? Kara said she hasn’t seen it, but I thought I should check anyways” he said and Donna-

“I’ll help”. He didn’t need her help to check one room, but she couldn’t help but offer. She wanted to spend time with him.

“I’d appreciate it” he said sincerely, but something in his tone made her think that maybe he wanted to spend time with her too. She smiled.

The two of them made their way to the room in the corner of the floor, right next to Donna’s and across from Bird’s. One of two corner rooms, two of its walls were floor to ceiling windows. It had a desk, dresser, nightstand, and a full sized bed. Unlike the other rooms on the floor, it wasn’t personalized at all, just plain and tidy.

Torchie started checking the drawers of the dresser and Donna started with the desk. All the drawers were empty.

“God, do you think they’ll make me pay for it?” Torchie asked as Donna moved to check the room’s walk in closet. Also empty. “I can’t afford that right now. All my money goes to Uber Eats”.

He said it dramatically, and she rolled her eyes while laughing.

“Start buying groceries, you’ll save more money” she teased and Torchie made a noise of disagreement.

“How’s Wally?” Torchie asked instead of continuing their banter over his kitchen habits, surprising Donna.

“He’s doing okay now. We’re all just stressed over this case. We need it to go well” Donna explained, watching as he got on the floor to check under the dresser. “He feels like he keeps messing up, that he hasn’t done anything to help at the other openings”.

Wally had told her that he feels like there shouldn’t have been any deaths in Texas, that with his superspeed he should’ve been able to save them, but the attack came out of nowhere. They were dead before any of them even realized there was an attack. She didn’t know what happened in LA with the drive, and she didn’t blame him for Atlanta, since he had to get out to help Kara, but-

“If Nightwing is mad, you can blame me for Miami,” Torchie said. Donna paused.

“Why? What happened to you two in Miami?” Donna asked slowly. Torchie went to rifle through the nightstand.

“We kinda got into a fist fight,” Torchie admitted.

“In the middle of a mission?” Donna asked, eyebrow raised even though he wasn’t looking at her. “How did that happen? You guys both worked fine together with the League”.

“Well- the fight in Miami was our second fist fight actually. Our first was in the Hall of Justice. Clark had to split us up. But it won’t happen again. Not on a mission at least. I’m sorry”.

He sounded embarrassed, which he absolutely should’ve been. She remembered how scared they had all been when neither of them answered their comms in Miami, how they had searched frantically , only for the both of them to just appear like nothing happened. Nightwing had been so pissed , more pissed than she had seen him in a while, and the verbal dressing down they got had made even Donna cringe. She was on a completely different floor and she heard it.

She knew Torchie and Wally hadn’t ever really gotten along. She knew Wally had started it, but she also knew that Torchie always fired back with equal intensity. She tried not to be a part of it, letting them settle their own differences, but ever since Torchie had gotten back Wally had been less intense about it. She thinks it’s because of what happened that made Torchie leave, but there was something that Donna couldn’t pin. Like Wally was sad for Torchie.

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s in the past” Donna said. He glanced over, and if making sure she was telling the truth, and then he smiled.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Torchie asked, changing the topic to something lighter as he felt around the mattress.

“Usually I spend it with my sister and her boyfriend Steve,” Donna told him. “What about you”?

She felt a pang remembering that he wouldn’t be able to spend it with his mother. She figured at least one of the Lanterns would spend it with him, or maybe they had a Christmas party like the Titans did? She knew Hal had living family, but had no idea about John, Guy, or the two newer Lanterns.

“I’m Hal’s holiday season plus one this year” Torchie told her. “He, Barry, and Oliver have a tradition where they and their families spend the holidays together and like, rotate who is hosting. Went to Barry’s for Thanksgiving, and we’re going to Oliver’s for Christmas Eve. I guess Hal is hosting New Years? I’m not too sure, I’m just along for the ride”.

He got on his knees and bent over to look under the bed. He- Donna was suddenly very distracted.

“I- uh, speaking of Christmas-“.

“ I FOUND IT ” Torchie shrieked before sitting up abruptly, slamming a hand over his mouth and his face bright red. “Sorry. I uh, I found it”.

In his hand he held his comm device. It was like all the others, a bit smaller than a cellphone but thinner and stronger. There was a compartment for a detachable earbud, which they used to listen to comms, but besides a power button everything else was accessed from the touch screen.

“I’m gonna have to charge this” he said as he sat back on his knees. He then turned to look up at her and give her his full attention. “Sorry you were saying”?

She sat down in front of him so that they were at the same level, not wanting to literally speak down to him.

“I was gonna say that the Titans are having a Christmas party on the 20th, and that you should come,” Donna said. It was Bird’s decision, but Bird was busy with other things and Donna deserved something nice.

She put her hand down on the floor to prop herself up, but instead of the floor, she accidentally put her hand on top of his. He smiled at her before she could even think to move it, and she felt his gauntlet dematerialize so that she could feel the warmth of his hand.

“I’d love to,” he said, and suddenly they were close again. Donna’s heart was pounding. “What time”?

“7pm” she said, her thumb tracking over his hand. “Unless you wanted to come by earlier and-“.

Donna’s phone went off and they both jumped. Donna leaned back, pulling her phone out of her pocket and frowned.

Garth.

“Hi Garth” she answered in a sugary tone. “Shouldn’t you be with your Dad”?

“I am,” he answered in the same tone. “He stepped away to get us a snack. Anyways, Bird texted and set a meeting for tomorrow”.

“And- and you needed to call me? Is it not in the group chat?” Donna asked slowly.

“Oh it is. Just felt the urge to call you and tell you” Garth said happily and Donna felt her eye twitch.

“ Garth of Shayaris -“.

“Bye bye Donna! I gotta go!” Donna was gonna kill him. She really was.

“Sorry. Annoying brothers, am I right?” Donna said, before remembering that Torchie had mentioned he was an only child and felt stupid. To her surprise, Torchie nodded sympathetically.

“Oh yeah, I totally get it. Guy and John kidnapped me the other day, and Jess keeps saying that she’s gonna break into my apartment one day, beat me with a sandal, and yell at me to clean so I can have the ‘true Hispanic experience’ or whatever. Don’t get me started on Simon” Torchie said shaking his head. “I adore them, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes they are something else”.

Donna was glad he and the other Lanterns were getting along, and that they were close enough that Torchie referred to them as siblings. He looked happy talking about them, even though he was supposed to be annoyed. That would wear off, he was still new to the whole sibling thing.

Torchie laughed warmly, flipping his hand over so that he was holding hers. He gave it a squeeze before standing up and helping her up.

“I should get going anyways” Torchie said and Donna tried not to let her disappointment show. “Jess and Simon said they had a fun activity planned for today and I’m kinda scared. I know, I know, not very Green Lantern of me”.

“I’d be scared,” Donna said, not letting go of his hand. He didn’t try to either. “I’m actually scared for you”.

“At least someone feels bad for me,” he said as she walked him to the elevator.

“Someone has to” she said as he stepped inside. “You should come visit us more often. Maybe stay the night. Then I wouldn’t have to feel too bad”.

She let go of his hand, and unfortunately he let her, but he was still smiling in a way that gave her butterflies.

“Maybe I will” he said and the elevator door closed.

She stood there for a couple of seconds before throwing her hands up in victory.

-

“So I have an idea,” WALLY said. “It might not be a good idea, but like it’s an idea”.

“I’m listening,” Nightwing replied, honestly sounding interested. Wally had no idea where he was, but he had responded to Wally’s comm so hopefully he wasn’t too busy.

“I know it’s been too long to actually be helpful, but what if we looked at the first location again and see if we missed anything? You know, Dallas?” Wally said. “Maybe we missed something”?

It was stupid. It happened in September and they were now in December, but Wally wanted to be helpful, and he knew that they had no information on the first attack. He really wanted to make it up to Bird. Wally kept fucking up the missions in some way shape or form, he had to prove he could be helpful. That he was worthy.

“It’s not a bad idea. Put together a small team and check it out. Take the lead on it Flash” Nightwing said and Wally was surprised. But he quickly grinned. Bird still had to have some kind of faith in him if he was letting Wally lead the mission and go on it without him or Donna.

“You’ve got it, Nightwing. I’ll send you the findings when I finish! Flash out” Wally's said before turning off his com and rolling over in his bed.

He gets to lead the team, so who was he bringing? Garth had already told them he’d be busy today, and Nightwing was doing whatever Nightwing did as a civilian. He wasn’t gonna take Torchie, they would need to be in their civies for this and he didn’t tend to be out of uniform much for his identity’s sake. But the opportunity to boss him around -

No! Focus Wally!

He’d take Roy, who Wally knew wasn’t doing anything today so he couldn’t say no. And he would take Kara, who probably also wanted to help after having been injured in both attacks. This was personal for her.

Wally fiddled with his comm device, looking for their names. It was connected to their com systems, and had several levels of encryption. It was made and improved upon by the Robins and Oracle, and was also the framework for their ping system too. Wally made a private chat with him, Kara, and Roy. 

Flash II: N approved a mission to check out the site of the attack from the first opening u guys wanna come

Red Arrow: im down for a mission

Supergirl: ill meet u guys there

Flash II: Dress code - Civilian

Flash II: k I guess ill pick RA

Red Arrow: u guess????

Wally ignored him and pocketed his comm device, getting up from his bed and heading downstairs. Uncle Barry was playing with the twins in the living room when Wally poked his head in.

“Hey, I’m going to Texas for an information gathering thing” Wally said as the twins started chanting his name over and over again the second they saw him.

Wally had still felt bad about lying to Uncle Barry the other day, and he had a feeling that Uncle Barry knew that Torchie hadn’t actually joined them for that mission. He knew his Uncle wasn’t upset that they went on the mission itself, but more that Wally lied about his whereabouts. So Wally was trying to be more honest while he could because he had no idea where this case would take them.

“Alright, be safe” Uncle Barry said with a smile. “Say goodbye to Wally, kids”.

“Bye bye” Don said while Dawn walked over to him waving. Wally laughed.

Roy answered the door to Uncle Hal’s apartment quickly after Wally knocked.

“Is Uncle Hal here?” Wally asked as Roy stepped out, locking the door behind him.

“No. I dunno where he went though” Roy said as they started to walk. “I should give him a curfew”.

Kara was waiting for them in front of the mall. Her blond hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was wearing thick rimmed glasses.

“Woah Kara, I almost didn’t recognize you” Wally teased. Roy laughed.

“Yeah those glasses make you look like a whole different person!” Roy joined in. Kara rolled her eyes.

“So funny. Just like the last 50 times you said it” Kara sighed. “So what’s the plan”?

“We look around where it came in and see if we can find clues. Anything” Wally said. “This is the only part of the case where we don’t have any leads”.

They both nodded and the three of them headed inside.

Unfortunately it was the holiday season, so the mall was packed . It was difficult for them to stay together, but once they got closer to where the attack was, it basically became a ghost town. The area had finished basic construction, with the walls and floors of stores installed, but no brands occupying them. No one went anywhere near this area, and that would make it a bit harder for them to blend in, but that wasn’t important.

Wally couldn’t help but look at the memorials that were across the hall from where it broke in. People died , and Wally could’ve done more to save them. He shook his head. They needed to catch whoever did this. The person in the suit and the person who made it.

Everything had been going fine until the person in the suit had burst into the mall through Claire's, taking down a major support beam that Donna had barely caught in time. She spent basically the rest of the battle holding that up. Roy, Garth, and Wally had been getting civilians to safety while Torchie, Kara, and Nightwing fought the mech. With Torchie having the ring and Kara being Kryptonian, Wally had thought it would be fine, but then the Kryptonite came out.

Wally still remembered Kara’s screams of pain and felt bad . They didn’t get to work on cases with Kara often, and Wally had never even seen Kryptonite in his life until then, so he didn’t expect it to be so bad . Torchie had ended up saving Kara, but the mech took out another support beam in the process. While they had saved people and Garth had done his best to hold it up, the mech had escaped.

It was a horrible first mission back. Wally was surprised the League didn’t take the case then and there.

The three of them searched the area, and Wally was disappointed but not surprised to find nothing. It had been months, and even if someone didn’t find anything then, any evidence could’ve been taken by anyone in the time between.

“Let’s check outside” Wally suggested, and the other two nodded, but they didn’t seem that hopeful. Thankfully the outside of where the mech had burst in wasn’t fenced off or in a restricted area. Wally really didn’t expect to find anything, but he did find a dead rat. 

Yay.

“Guys,” Kara said suddenly. “Blind spot”.

Wally and Roy ran over to her as she squeezed behind a shipping container. When she came back out, she was holding a medium sized rectangular box.

“I can’t see inside of it,” Kara said, turning it over in her hands. She went to open it.

“What if it’s a bomb?” Roy pointed out. Wally and Roy both took a step back as Kara paused. She took several steps back and then continued.

“It’s a backpack,” Kara said with a frown as she pulled it out. “You guys can come over. No bomb”.

They walked over as Kara opened the back pack and pulled out several things. There were notebooks, a passport, other legal documents, some protein bars, cash, and clothes. They all looked at each other.

“A go bag?” Roy asked, face unreadable. “The suspect’s”?

“Maybe? Can we check it for fingerprints” Wally asked then paused. “Wait no, what if it belongs to a mall worker or something. How can we tie this to a suspect we haven’t seen or heard”?

“Maybe if there was a mech part in it. Like this” Kara said nonchalantly before pulling out a piece with a huge grin. Wally gasped.

“No way. No way ” Wally laughed. It was the same color, looked like the same material- the headpiece had been asymmetrical! That part must’ve fallen off!

“We can’t use any of the legal documents though. They have to be fake” Roy reasons as Kara looks through them. She grinned suddenly.

“Maybe if they accidentally put in their real passport instead of the fake one!” Kara said excitedly, tossing Wally the passport. “The name on all the other documents are the same besides the passport”.

Wally looked at the passport and blinked twice. Not what he was expecting but now they had a suspect. And they had a piece of the armour. Wally grinned.

They had a lead. Wally found a lead.

Chapter Text

September, -xxx1

WALLY didn’t even know why the League gave them this case. It was clearly a dud, something to keep Titans A busy because the League didn’t trust them with something more, didn’t think they were capable of something more. 

Wally walked around the mall, keeping an eye on Schott, but he was so bored. He wished they could’ve taken a slightly harder case at least. Or if they had to take this case, did they really need Four to babysit? It was so unfair. They’ve taken on people like Deathstroke and Brother Blood before any of them had even finished highschool, and now they were stuck making sure Schott was beha-

The entire mall shook, dust and debris flying everywhere. Wally turned to see several stores had caved in, and Troia flying over to brace a beam that was about to fall over. Wally was quick to get to a more secluded area, blending in with people who were fleeing the area to get there, and changing into his Flash suit, before he zipped back to collapsed stores. He couldn’t have been gone for more than 15 seconds, he-

He wasn’t fast enough. He was too late.

-

DICK and the rest of the team stood in front of an old factory. It had been converted into a base for a gang that went by the name Tekno. Their whole thing was that they used technology to further their goals but they weren’t “bad guys” per se. Did they have good goals? Yes. Did they always try to achieve said goals in the most ethical way? No.

They were small but based in Dallas. They were a bit hard to find since their cyber defense was really good, but at the end of the day they were no match for Babs and Batman’s computer. And while the group themselves weren’t very malicious, there was one member they were looking for.

Mei-Hau.

“So are we gonna like, sneak in through the vents and stealth our way through? Because we’re kinda out in the open” Red Arrow said. Dick smirked and knocked on the very large front door. “Oh. Okay”.

They waited there for a couple of minutes, and Dick started to get worried they would have to brute force their way in because stealth was out of the question now, but eventually the door opened.

“Uh. Hi?” a tall and muscular man asked. “What do you want”?

“We don’t want any trouble, and we aren’t here to stop any of your activities. We wanna talk to whoever is in charge” Dick said. The guy tilted his head and held up a finger before disappearing.

“Why does this feel like a business meeting?” Red Arrow asked.

“It technically is one,” Troia said with a shrug. Tempest nodded.

“Diplomacy,” he added.

They were right. Dick was hoping this wouldn’t be a fight, he just wanted to question her and hand her over to the proper authorities if needed. No one had to get hurt.

Troia and Tempest were his main help with this. They both understood diplomacy well enough, Troia being from Themascyra and having been taught by her mother Hippolyta, and Tempest being a Prince of Atlantis. He knew Supergirl was good at it too, but she was more going to be used as intimidation today, while Flash and Red Arrow would fill in as needed.

And Green Lantern- he actually didn’t know much about Green Lantern’s experience, his strengths and weaknesses, and that was a bit of a problem. He had a better grasp on them before Green Lantern left for space, but now he didn’t know what Green Lantern had been through while he was gone, what he had learned and what had changed. Dick knew there was a war, Green Lantern himself had mentioned it, and there was probably a report on that war. Dick could access any reports that had to do with a Titan, but- Green Lantern wasn’t officially a Titan.

He was there as a League approved chaperone.

But- Dick liked to think they were friends. They had been before what happened between Torchie and the Titans in September and then- well Dick hadn’t done much to check in on him or see how he was doing, especially after the war. He still hadn’t apologized either. Dick was already failing at doing better for the team it seemed. 

“Cloud will see you now” the guy said when he opened the door. “But no funny business”.

“Of course” Dick said, and they followed him in.

Several people were staring at them as they walked into a big room. They were led down a long hall, all the doors closed, and up a set of stairs at the end until they reached a set of double doors.

“They’re in here. You’re lucky they decided to give you the time of day” the man said before opening the door.

The room was windowless, with a big desk in the middle with several monitors facing away from them. The walls were lined with high tech monitors all on a light gray screen, and behind the desk was a teenager with dark hair, skin and eyes. They looked at the team with interest.

“The Teen Titans” they said slowly before their eyes looked to the left. “And a Green Lantern? What do you want”.

Dick resisted the urge to correct them and say that they haven’t been the Teen Titans for a while now. He could tell they were trying to be intimidating, but it was falling flat.

“We’re looking for a member of your group who we believe is a suspect for our case” Dick said. “We want to question her, and if she is our suspect we’ll turn her in to the proper authorities. If not, then we can all just go about our day”.

Cloud snorted.

“I’m not just gonna hand over a member of my family,” Cloud said. “I don’t know how the Teen Titans do things, but we don’t rat eachother out. Get out of my face, you’re not welcome here anymore”.

“Wait” Dick said as the doors opened behind them. He glanced over his shoulder to see at least 15 people with weapons ready. Red Arrow had his bow ready, and the others got into fighting stances. Dick got ready to pull out his escrima sticks. “We don’t need to get violent-”!

“Tekno doesn’t get violent unless it’s absolutely necessary” Cloud said, pulling a gun out from their desk and pointing it right at Dick. “But if you want to take one of our own-”.

“So violence against children is absolutely necessary?” Green Lantern asked, surprising Dick. His orders were that only he, Troia, and Tempest were to speak, but he had heard Bruce rant several times about how Green Lanterns never followed orders. Maybe it was all that willpower. Cloud turned to Green Lantern, glaring.

“You’re not exactly children-” Cloud started, looking them up and down with an expression that told Dick that Cloud thought they were stupid.

“Not us! I mean- you said Tekno doesn’t get violent unless it’s absolutely necessary, but if we’re right and your group member is our suspect- children died. Kids who were going to the mall with their families died just because they were in the way. Is that absolutely necessary? Do you stand by that?” Green Lantern asked.

Green Lantern sounded disgusted and Dick realized that he wasn’t saying this as a tactic to get to Mei-Hua or to get Tekno to stand down, he was just voicing his thoughts. Dick knew Green Lantern had a big heart, that he was very forgiving and just wanted to help people, doing so without thinking. When this team had first formed, it was something he and Donna had been worried about especially since he was so inexperienced, but-

“Who are you looking for?” Cloud asked, their eyes softening as they signaled for their men to stand down. 

It was something that any of them could’ve said just as easily, it was something Dick was going to say actually, since he had done research and knew that Tekno protected children. But how Green Lantern said it, the feeling behind his words- Dick didn’t think he would’ve deescalated the situation as fast as Green Lantern did. 

Green Lantern was just like that.

“Her name is Mei-Hua” Dick said as Cloud’s men left the area. “We think she's connected to the incident in Dallas that happened in September”.

Cloud looked devastated, both hands going to their mouth and their eyes going glassy. They did their best to compose themself before typing something into their computer.

“That attack hit our community hard,” Cloud said softly. “We’ve tried to investigate the attack ourselves but we couldn’t get any information. If Mei-Hua- I hope it wasn’t her. Oh God I hope it wasn’t her”.

“We hope so too,” Green Lantern said, taking a step forward. “I can’t even imagine how you guys are feeling, but we’re hoping that Mei-Hua can shed some light on the situation. Give those families justice”.

Cloud nodded hard, exhaling heavily.  A woman popped her head in, her face questioning and Cloud nodded. The woman disappeared and in walked a girl. She was in her late teens or early 20’s, with dark eyes and bright green hair. She seemed happy, but the second she laid her eyes on the team, Dick could see the recognition. Dick waited for her eyes to turn cold or for her to be amused or-

She burst into tears.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to, please believe me” she wailed, putting her head in her hands. Her whole body was shaking with her sobs and Cloud watched her with a horrified expression. 

“Mei-Hua” Dick said gently. She fell to her knees.

“Please! Please, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, please” Mei-Hua sobbed. Dick kneeled next to her.

“Mei-Hua, we need you to answer some questions,” Dick said softly. Mei-Hua shook her head frantically, sobbing so hard that Dick was sure she was gonna make herself sick. 

Dick had trained in and had a lot of experience calming people down. Usually they were victims or witnesses, but Dick had a feeling Mei-Hua was a victim herself in a way. Dick could do this, but- Dick turned and gestured for Green Lantern to talk to her. Green Lantern looked surprised, but came and sat in front of Mei-Hua.

The five of them and Kara had experience in this, any of them could’ve done it, but Dick wanted Green Lantern to do it. Dick wanted to see how well he could do this, especially with what he had done with Cloud. It was a test, but also a way for him to get more experience.

And maybe he could feel like he was a part of the team, that Dick trusted him as part of the team.

“Mei-Hua, people died. Children died” Green Lantern said and Dick resisted the urge to take over again. Mei-Hua responded with more sobbing and broken apologies. “We need you to tell us what happened so we can give those families peace and keep it from happening again”.

“I’m gonna get in trouble. I don’t wanna get in trouble, I didn’t mean to,” Mei-Hua wept like a small child. “I’m gonna die, I don’t wanna die! Please”!

“You’re not gonna die. No one’s gonna kill you” Green Lantern reassured. “But this guilt- it’s gonna eat you whole. Wouldn’t you rather face the consequences of what you’ve done and be free? The weight of guilt is worse than any amount of prison time”.

“I don’t wanna die please” she begged, finally looking up. Green Lantern took her hand in both of his. 

“I won’t let you die, I promise” Green Lantern said. Mei-Hua shakily wiped at her eyes.

“I- a member of the Legion of Doom found me and- I was told to use the suit and test it on a Kryptonian that would be at the mall that day! I didn’t know how to use it well, I didn’t know that the way I entered would kill people! My life was threatened, I didn’t want to die” Mei-Hua said. “I don’t even have the suit anymore! It was taken back and I haven’t been contacted since. I’m so scared! I didn’t want anyone to die! I just didn’t want to die”!

The Legion of Doom. The case kept getting heavier and heavier.

“Mei-Hua, we tried to uncover what happened with the Dallas attack and couldn’t find anything” Cloud said lowly. “Did you have anything to do with that”?

“Yes. Yes, I tampered with our findings. I’m so sorry” Mei-Hau sniffled, bowing her head in shame. 

“Who from the Legion of Doom contacted you?” Dick asked and Mei-Hua shrugged. 

“I dunno. It was a woman” Mei-Hau. “I’ve never seen her on the news or anything”.

Dick nodded, theories running around his mind. He felt bad for Mei-Hua, but-

“Mei-Hua, we are going to have to turn you over to the authorities” Dick told her sadly and Mei-Hau wailed. “But you will get a fair trial. We’ll make sure of it”.

Mei-Hua started sobbing again, collapsing against Green Lantern who wrapped an arm around her. He looked up at Dick with a sad expression.

This isn’t what any of them expected. They thought they were going to find a cold blooded killer, but whoever had forced Mei-Hua to do this had used an innocent and scared girl as a pawn.

Green Lantern helped Mei-Hua stand as Dick motioned Flash forward. Flash took over supporting her from Green Lantern.

“Flash is gonna take you to the authorities and get everything settled” Dick told her before turning to Flash. “Meet us back at the tower for debrief”.

Flash nodded and they were gone.

“I’m sorry Cloud” Green Lantern said and Cloud nodded miserably. “We’re gonna stop whoever is responsible for this”.

“I hope so” Cloud said. The six of them left the factory a bit somber. 

“I wish we didn’t have to turn her in” Tempest said quietly. Dick sighed. 

“Me too” he responded. “We’ll meet back at the tower for debrief. Green Lantern, you're with me”.

Roy made a face and Donna raised an eyebrow at Dick, but he quickly gave her a look that said ‘it’s fine’. Donna nodded with a smile and shoved a very confused looking Green Lantern towards Nightwing. Donna grabbed Roy and Kara grabbed Garth before taking off into the sky. Green Lantern just stared at Dick.

“So, I’m just a guy. Can you-“?

“Oh yeah! Right”! Green Lantern put an arm around his waist and flew back to San Francisco. It was a quick flight with his ring, and once they were on the roof of the tower, Green Lantern let go of him.

“Before we go in” Dick said and Torchie paused to look at him. “You mind if we talk for a sec”?

“Oh yeah, sure” Torchie said, rubbing the back of his neck looking a little embarrassed. “If this is about me speaking out during the mission-“.

“No, you did a good job actually,” Dick said quickly. “We have time before Flash gets back, so I wanted to check on you and apologize”.

“For?” Torchie asked, looking confused. Dick raised an eyebrow. 

“I mean mainly for what happened in September” Dick said and Torchie winced. “But also for not reaching out before this. Not checking in on you or anything”.

“Oh. I appreciate the apology but it’s not needed. It’s behind us” Green Lantern said, and Dick frowned. He didn’t think Green Lantern should just dismiss something that important, but if that’s what he wanted then so be it. “And you don’t need to check up on me. I know you’re busy with important things”.

“You’re part of this team, and my teammates are a priority to me”” Dick said. He didn’t think they were close enough for Dick to ask this next question but- well he wanted to know. “ How are you doing, coming back to Earth after everything”?

“The other Lanterns have been helping me out with everything. I got my apartment all sorted out, I’m working again- there’s not a really big adjustment from Oa to Earth besides having to make my own meals and the fact that I don’t share a room with three other people anymore. Oh and I don’t really have to wake up that early anymore” Torchie reassured him.

He seemed happy, and that made Dick feel bad about asking this next question.

“I meant- coming back to Earth after the war” Dick said and Torchie froze. “I don’t have access to that report so I don’t really know what happened, but there was a war in Atlantis recently that was rough, and I saw how that affected Garth, Uncle Arthur and Mera. So how are you doing?”

Torchie was quiet for a minute, looking at the floor. Dick didn’t rush him, knowing some things took time to process, took time to find a way to explain. Eventually Torchie sighed.

“It’s- I’m getting there. Some things take time unfortunately, but Hal and the other Lanterns have been really helpful. Talked about it a bit with Kara too.” Torchie reassured him. Dick put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“Okay, but if you need anything just ask,” Dick said. 

“Same to you” Torchie said, which was weird because Dick was fine.

“It has to be Luthor” Kara argued when they were back in the meeting room. “Who else would have the brain, the resources, and wants to get rid of Clark and I so badly”?

“He hasn’t done anything since he got out of jail. Is this why? Was he preparing for this?” Wally asked. “It doesn’t make any sense”!

“We don’t have any evidence,” Dick reminded them. “We can’t go after Luthor without-“!

“Robin to Nightwing” came over Dick’s comm. Dick held a finger up before touching his comm.

“Go for Nightwing” Dick responded.

“I was looking over the weapon and the armor piece, and they’re definitely the same material. Completely untraceable, or at least I thought, but I found a match” Tim explained excitedly and Dick grinned.

“Great timing. Hold on, let me put you on speaker so the other Titans can hear you” Dick said. Tim let out a sigh.

“Oh yeah, Batman’s gonna love that” Tim said, frustration leaking through.

Bruce kept Tim isolated from a lot of the hero community besides Orphan, Oracle, and Nightwing.. Most heroes didn’t really get to interact with the newest Robin, and when they did Batman was always close by, limiting said interactions. Dick knew Tim was a superhero fan, he deserved to at least talk with some of them.

“Who cares what Batman says. Share your findings” Dick said, putting his comm on speaker. “Titans A, Robin is on the line. He’s been able to track the weapon and the armour's origin”.

Everyone in the room greeted Tim warmly and Dick couldn’t help but smile.

“Uh- hi! Nice to meet- talk with you? Anyways! There’s a metal on the inner lining of the armour part that is only mined and refined in one part of the world! And that same metal was used to make the inner part of the trigger mechanism of the gun- sorry Nightwing I took the gun apart, but I’ll put it back together! There’s only three people in the world who have access to that factory and use that metal and I’ve ruled out the other two by- long story short, Luthor totally has a hand in this” Tim finished with an awkward laugh.

“We just learned that a Legion of Doom member gave the mech suit to Mei-Hua, so Luthor is either trying to kill the Kryptonians directly or is helping someone else in the Legion of Doom do it," Dick said, leaning back in his chair to think. “Thanks for your help Robin. I knew I could count on you”.

“No problem! Let me know if you need any more help! Bye Titans, Robin out”!

“He’s so cute,” Donna cooed. “And smart. We’ve linked Luthor. Is that evidence enough”?

Dick hesitated, running over the information in his head.

“But is Schott working with Luthor or whatever villain club member is behind this? Or are they just using what he’s doing on these dates as a distraction?” Torchie asked. Wally nodded.

“They could be using Schott as a shield. Maybe trying to pin the blame on him?” Wally suggested.

“But how did they know that Kara was gonna be on this team? It was our first mission of the case and the Legion of Doom gave someone who was based in Dallas the mech suit” Garth added.

Dick hesitated for a moment. Was this a good idea? Would this blow up in his face? The League had forbidden this for years, but Dick was starting to think the League would never really trust them fully because they would always see them as the little kids they were when they started. Taking on Luthor would show them that they weren’t children anymore, that they were smarter and stronger than the League gave them credit for. And this was important, they couldn’t just wait for the League to get themselves together to check it out.

There was no other choice really.

“Kara, Torchie, let’s go,” Dick said, standing up. “We’re going to pay Lex Luthor a visit”.

~

KYLE doesn’t know much about Lex Luthor besides the fact that he was a super villain, Superman’s arch nemesis, and a billionaire.

He heard from other League members that Luthor had stopped the whole supervillain thing since he got out of jail towards the middle of last year, and besides making remarks about how much he dislikes Superman, he hasn’t done anything to get on the Leagues radar. Kyle didn’t think Luthor would be much of a problem, but he was Superman’s arch nemesis, and the way the Titans and the League spoke about him- what was he capable of?

Making weapons that could’ve killed Kara twice. And got innocent people killed. Kids.

“Have you ever gone with Superman when he went to talk with Luthor before, Supergirl?” Nightwing asked from his perch on top of a building. Kyle was crouched on his left and Kara was sitting on the edge of the building on his right.

They were a couple of blocks away from LexCorp, Nightwing surveying the area with some kind of high tech binoculars. Kara was using her enhanced vision, and Kyle felt a bit left out so he made his own construct binoculars.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to be looking for.

“Once. He went through the Penthouse's outdoor area, and Luthor met him out there” Kara said. Kyle turned to look at her, his construct disappearing.

“So we should check out his apartment building? Where does he live?” Kyle asked.

“His Penthouse is located on the top two floors of LexCorp,” Nightwing informed him.

“What? Why would he do that?” Kyle asked.

Kyle understood not wanting to commute, it was one of many reasons he was a freelance artist, but to build your home on top of your company? That man must’ve been a workaholic. Or had a really good work life balance.

Kyle was leaning more towards the first.

“LexCorp is, unfortunately, really secure,” Nightwing said. “He’s a horrible man, but he is a genius. LexCorp is probably the most secure place in the world for him”.

“Even Superman is cautious when getting close,” Kara added. “He doesn't land anywhere on the building until Luthor invites him to”.

Kyle was really not liking this.

“We don’t have any other option than to go the Superman way” Nightwing said, putting his binoculars away as he stood. “Let’s hope he’s in a chatty mood”.

Kyle didn’t know how he felt bringing Kara near Luthor if he was probably trying to kill her, but maybe Nightwing chose her because she was more familiar with Luthor? God he hoped the League didn’t find out about this. He didn’t think Hal could back him up on this one.

Kyle made a construct platform for Nightwing to stand on, not being able to really think of anything more creative at the moment, and the three of them flew over to LexCorp. It was the tallest building in all of Metropolis, and right at the second highest floor was an outdoor area. It had a pretty big pool, an outdoor kitchen, and an eating/entertaining area. Everything looked expensive.

Kyle doubted Luthor even used this.

The entire wall of the top two floors that the outdoor area came out of was made of glass, and Kyle couldn’t imagine what kind of light that let in, but there was no way Kyle could see inside of it. So the three of them just floated maybe a foot above the floor and waited, hoping someone would come out and not just stay hidden there laughing at them.

They waited maybe 10 minutes before someone opened the door.

A woman who looked like maybe she was in her mid to late 20’s stepped out. She wore flowy black dress pants, a thick belt, and a tight long sleeved dark blue shirt. Her stilettos had a thin heel that Kyle wouldn’t have believed was possible to walk in if he wasn’t watching her do it, and made her several inches taller than she was, yet she never faltered once even though she was walking in snow. Her hair was caramel colored and went to her mid shoulder blades, her eyes were brown, and her expression cold.

“Can I help you”? Kyle had never seen someone who should theoretically be non threatening radiate such a threatening aura before.

“We wanna talk with Luthor” Nightwing said. The lady’s expression didn’t change.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asked, and Kyle felt like it didn’t matter if they had an appointment or not.

“It’s alright Mercy” Lex Luthor said, stepping out into the outdoor area. He was wearing a jacket at least, unlike Mercy who Kyle was starting to think wasn’t human. Luthor’s gray blue eyes studied them for a moment. “You’re not my usual visitor”.

“We’re not. Think of us as usual adjacent” Nightwing said and he motioned for them to lower themselves. They did so slowly and thankfully weren’t shot at.

At this point, two other women joined them outside. One had joined Mercy in standing at Luthor’s other side and was glaring at them. She looked like she was in her mid 20s with dark skin, and her dark hair was in several thin braids that went down to her waist. She wore dark green cargo pants, black boots, and a black shirt underneath an open dark green jacket with the LexCorp symbol on the upper right side.

The other women looked young, most likely near Kyle’s age. She was Asian with long, dark, and straight hair. The thick jacket she wore was closed, and she was wearing sneakers and dress pants. Unlike the other two, she looked uncertain, dark eyes darting between the heroes and her colleagues.

“And why are you bothering me today? Does Superman think he’s above me now?” Luthor asked, eyebrow raised. He looked bored, and that kind of annoyed Kyle.

“What have you been up to, Luthor” Kara said coldly. Luthor didn’t even look at her, instead rolling his eyes like this was the most inconvenient thing in the world for him.

“Unlike you alien, I actually spend my days working instead of frolicking around, causing property damage, and forcing my way into the spotlight” Luthor said. “I have a company to run, where I can actually make a difference in the world compared to what you do”.

“A difference in the world? Like an alien free world” Kara snarled, and Nightwing put a hand on her shoulder. Luthor glanced at her this time, looking kind of disgusted.

“That would be a perfect world wouldn’t it. Why? Are you leaving?” he asked and Kyle could almost feel her anger. “Will this take any longer? I have more important things to do than entertain a group of children”.

“You- what’s your goal Luthor? We know you’re connected to the attacks in Texas and Atlanta! Who are you working with, or was this just you?” Kara demanded. Luthor didn’t even flinch despite the fact that a Kryptonian was pissed at him.

“Bold accusations that you have no basis for” Luthor said, checking his watch.

“We examined the weapons,” Nightwing said. “We found traces of metals that only you use, the caliber of the technology is something very few people could attain, we have evidence that the Legion of Doom has something to do with this. So how much are you responsible for Luthor?

Kyle knew the last part was a lie. The only evidence of the Legion of Doom’s involvement was Mei-Hua’s word, and they weren’t going to set her up. She would serve her sentence, she wasn’t going to die.

“What is your goal here, Robin?” Luthor asked. Nightwing didn’t show any visible reaction to that.

“Just admit to what you did, and we can have you arrested. We can make this nice and easy for once, no need to get Superman involved” Nightwing said. Luthor raised an eyebrow.

“You have no grounds to have me arrested” Luthor said before glancing back at the youngest woman. “Charity”?

“Insufficient evidence. Mr. Luthor doesn’t have a monopoly on any metal, anyone can use the metals he uses. While Mr. Luthor is very intelligent, there are other people in the world who can make high caliber technology. Or maybe Mr. Luthor could make it better. And Mr. Luthor hasn’t worked with the Legion of Doom since before his recent incarceration” the woman, Charity, listed off suddenly looking very confident. “An attempt at arrest or turning Mr. Luthor into the authorities right now would be unlawful. We would have to sue, and I don’t lose”.

Kyle suddenly recognized her. Charity Park, the youngest person to become a lawyer in the state of New York. She was the one who had gotten Luthor out of prison single handedly when she was only 18, and Luthor had fired his entire legal team and replaced them with her. She took an unwinnable case that not even a team of the best lawyers could win and did so well that the state of New York had to issue an official apology to Luthor.

Alex had told him about it.

“You liar,” Kara cried out. “I know you’re up to this. People died, Luthor! Children! And what about Schott? If he is trying to turn his life around, you’re ruining it! Or are you working with him? Did you put him up to this”?

Luthor stared at her for a second.

“Who”?

Kara took a step forward, her eyes glowing red. Kyle barely had time to throw up a construct shield around them as Mercy and the other lady’s arms transformed into cannons and were pointed at them. Charity had taken several steps back and pulled out a gun, but Luthor looked calm, not having moved a muscle. He smirked.

“Mercy, Hope, stand down. They won’t do anything” Luthor said. Nightwing, who also hadn’t moved, scoffed.

“Do we sound like we’re bluffing? We know you did it Luthor” Nightwing said, voice dangerous.

“Does the League know you’re here?” Luthor asked, and Kyle did his best not to tense. “What would Superman do if I told him three children from the Titans decided to accuse me of crimes I didn’t commit? Would he tell me he knows? That the League sent you”?

Nightwing just stared at Luthor for a second in silence.

“Green Lantern, shield down,” Nightwing said. “We’re leaving”.

That- fuck. Luthor had pinned them against a wall and taken them down without even lifting a finger. Kyle was really starting to see the danger with Luthor. He put his shield down and made another construct platform for Nightwing to step onto.

“I don’t want to see you three on my property again” Luthor said before he turned away and started walking towards the door. “None of you are worth my time. Let’s try not to have a repeat of June, Robin”.

They left quickly after.

Chapter Text

September, -xxx1

DONNA landed on the fire escape outside the window to Four’s apartment. She had been trying to get in contact with him for a bit but he hadn’t been answering, so she decided to pay him a visit. She knocked on his window and waited.

After maybe 2 minutes, the window opened, and there stood Four with his face covered by a hat. He was frowning and his body was tense. 

“Bad time?” Donna asked. Four grimaced.

“Kinda sorta?” he laughed nervously. She was about to apologize and leave when another voice spoke.

“Never a bad time! Come on in”! She didn’t recognize this voice, but it was heavily accented. Irish maybe?

“I told you I’d be right back and to stay away from the window” Four complained, looking back into his apartment.

“I didn’t raise you to be rude, invite your friend inside” the woman said and Four hung his head, sighing deeply. He stepped aside and gestured for Donna to come in.

Donna stepped through the window, thankful she was not in her Troia suit at the moment. Behind Four with a pleasant smile was a plump older woman who might’ve been in her forties. She had light skin, brown hair, and eyes that were a gorgeous green color.

“You have a beautiful accent,” Donna said and the woman smiled. “Is it Irish?”

“It is,” the woman confirmed, smiling wider. Four sighed loudly again.

“Donna this is uh- this is my mom” Four admitted, and while Donna had gotten that from context clues, it was still bizarre to hear. Four’s mom raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to Donna with a smile and her hand out.

“I’m Maura,” she said as she shook Donna’s hand.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your evening together” Donna apologized, guessing that Maura must’ve flown in from California. “I just wanted to ask a question about work, I didn’t mean to come at a bad time”.

“You probably texted a million times, sorry” Four said sheepishly, as if she hadn’t just intruded on his evening. She really could’ve waited, but honestly she just wanted an excuse to see him.

“Work? Is this about your new job?” she asked Four who sighed and nodded. “I should’ve known. How else would she have gotten to the window? Which superhero are you?”

“Mom” Four hissed and Maura shook her head. Donna was taken aback.

“She knows you’re Green Lantern?” Donna asked. She didn’t expect him to tell anyone, but again this was his mother. But- they didn’t seem very close, Four barely mentioning her in the time Donna had known him. But you didn’t have to mention someone every three seconds to be close to them, Donna had barely mentioned her own mother to Four but she adored her mother.

“A mother always knows” Maura told her, nodding wisely. Donna couldn’t argue with that logic, her mother always seemed to know things about her that Donna didn’t share.

“I’m Troia, formerly Wonder Girl,” Donna told her. Maura smirked, glancing at Four, and Donna suddenly remembered Four admitting he had a crush on Wonder Girl when he was younger.

“Well it’s good that he has someone looking out for him out there” Maura said.

“Mom!” Four stressed and Maura gave him a stern look. He groaned loudly. “Mam!”

Maura looked so satisfied with herself that Donna wanted to laugh, but she didn’t.

“He’s good at what he does, he doesn’t need me to look after him” Donna told her, because it was easy for her to understand why that had upset him. He had confided in her once that he wanted to be worthy of the ring, to be strong. Four smiled at her and Donna smiled back, not able to contain herself. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Maura saw this.

“You should stay for lunch Donna” Maura said, clapping her hands together.

“Mam”!

“Oh no, I should really get going! I don’t want to take up more of your time-!”

“Nonsense” Maura said, taking Donna by the shoulders and steering her towards the table. Four gave her a thumbs up, and she felt better knowing he was okay with it. She wished he hadn’t been backed into a corner though. “I would love to get to know my wee boy’s new friend”!

“Mam!” Four practically wailed, and Donna had to throw her hand over her mouth to hide her smile. The part of his face she could see was bright red. “Do you have to say that”?

“Why not, Mo Ghrá?” Maura questioned, pinching his cheek, and Four put his hands on his head.

-

DONNA finished setting up the food with Garth when Bird and Kara arrived. This was technically Bird’s party, but Titans A always helped with all the preparation and setting up. This was the first time that Bird wasn’t here to set up.

It was also the first time that Kara came before the party started.

“Late!” Wally called from where he was connecting the karaoke machine to the tv in the living room of the Tower. They always stole the top floor for the Christmas party.

“I’m sorry!” Bird called out, pulling a wagon of something behind him. Kara followed him, carrying a box. “But I think you’ll forgive me”.

“Bold assumption- oh!” Donna said as she got closer to the wagon and saw what was inside of it. “That’s a lot of alcohol, Bird. Like a lot. So I forgive you”.

“You do realize there are like, only five Titans that are legal drinking age?” Garth said, eyebrow raised. “How are you guys gonna drink all that and not die”?

It was true. Donna, Kara, Rachel, and Bird were 21, and Vic was 22, but everyone else was under 21. Bird smiled.

“Oh no, I suddenly have amnesia! I forgot everyone’s ages! Oh well, I guess we can just let people decide if they wanna drink or not” Bird shrugged. “Except Roy, Jackson, Joey, Connor and M’gann. I know they’re 18, 15, 15, 14, and 13”.

Roy rolled his eyes but smiled. They all knew he wouldn’t be drinking anyways because of his rehab stuff, but he said several times before that he was fine around alcohol he just couldn’t drink it. And if he said otherwise, Donna knew Bird would immediately get rid of the alcohol.

“Damn our metabolism huh” Wally said, eyeing the wagon excitedly. Kara held her box out and Wally glanced over before gasping. “No you did not”!

“Yep! Went and got it today!” Kara said excitedly and pulled a bottle out of the box. It took Donna a second to recognize the bottle as a non-Earth one, and she remembered that it was very strong. “Today, the four of us are like everyone else”!

She, Kara, Wally, and Kori would be having fun tonight it seems.

They finished setting up and Donna went to go get ready real quick. She ended up wearing a simple red dress, and when she headed back up, everyone but Kori and Bird were there. She put her secret Santa gift on the table with the others before going to where Kara and Rachel were talking with Karen.

“Hey Donna” Karen greeted. “Did you see Bird or Kori on your way up”?

“No. They must be busy” Donna mused and they all laughed. After about 20 minutes, Bird and Kori made their appearance. Bird was now in casual clothes and a domino mask, something he hadn’t done since-

“Alright guys! I have three cup colors! Blue for non alcoholic, red for alcoholic, and purple for alien alcohol. Please stick to your category. No, most of you can’t handle the alien alcohol. It’s on that small table, don’t try to be tough you will lose” Bird announced. “If you are under 18, no alcohol for you and don’t drink out of the other color cups. Anyone over 18, make your own decision, but please practice responsibility”!

There were several happy noises of agreement.

“I think we’ll start with-“ Bird continued but was cut off when the system went off.

“A-19: Green Lantern”. Everyone looked confused.

“Oh. Oh, I invited him. I might’ve forgotten to mention it to anyone else. I’m sorry?” Donna offered but Bird waved her off.

“It’s fine” he reassured. “We all like Torchie. Well maybe not Roy and Wally but-“.

The elevator door opened and out stepped Torchie. He wasn’t wearing his Green Lantern uniform, instead dressed in jeans, a periwinkle sweater, and a black leather jacket. His cap was pulled low over his face like usual and he was holding a wrapped gift.

“Uh hi. Wow, everyone is looking at me” he said. “Sorry I’m a bit late. I had to finish this”.

He held up the gift. It was wrapped in light blue wrapping paper with cute penguins on it, and it was about as big as a large board game.

“We didn’t know you were coming again” Wally offered from where he sat on the couch next to Joey. “Maybe you should stop coming”.

“Have I ever shown you my ring?” Torchie asked, switching his gift to his other hand, and lifted up his right hand. He stuck up the finger his Green Lantern ring was on.

“Oh nice. I’ll get a matching one and put it on this one” Wally said joyfully, also sticking up his middle finger.

“How about we get drinks and snacks and we’ll start Secret Santa” Bird suggested and everyone agreed. While people started to get up and do just that, Donna saw Bird go up to Torchie and start explaining the whole cup thing to him.

Donna got herself some lemonade and mixed some of the alien alcohol in it that Kara swore tasted like raspberry. Usually with Donna’s much higher tolerance than a normal human and Kara’s kryptonian physiology, it was basically impossible for either of them to even get tipsy, but the both of them had been to a couple of space bars before and found out that certain alcohol from other planets were strong enough to get them buzzed. She was glad Kara went to get some.

With all the stress with the case, what happened this year, the Titans West thing, and now whatever they were gonna do about Luthor, Donna deserved to have time to just relax. The seven of them had decided that from today to Christmas they were gonna just relax, hopefully coming back together on the 26th for the final toy store opening with clear heads and a new perspective.

Everyone sat in the living room for secret Santa after grabbing their drinks, their snacks, and the gift they brought. They sat in a big circle, Donna in between Torchie and Kori. Donna went first and gave M’gann the crochet kit and was happy that M’gann loved it.

They decided that M’gann would go next and they would go until everyone got their gift. M’gann had gotten Bird, who had gotten Rachel, who had gotten Wally. Wally got Karen, who got Kori, who got Joey, who Donna already knew got Garth. Garth was delighted with his gift and Donna felt smug. She knew her boys too well.

Garth got Gar, which got some laughs due to their similar names, and Gar got Connor. Donna almost spat out her drink when Connor was handed a paper that said I.O.U, but Connor seemed delighted with it which Donna took as a sign that something bad would happen (but that was Gar’s problem). Connor got Kara, who got Jackson, who got Vic who got Roy. And that meant Roy got Tor-

Roy started unwrapping the gift he brought.

“Roy? That’s not how you play” Connor pointed out, eyebrow raised. Roy rolled his eyes.

“Yes it is. I got myself, so I bought a gift for myself” Roy said, before pretending to be surprised with his gift choice. Donna sighed heavily.

“How do you get yourself?” Torchie asked, tilting his head.

“Wally wrote the names out and we all drew a name from a bucket” Garth pointed out. “Maybe Wally wrote Roy’s name twice”?

“Aren't you studying math? Shouldn’t you be able to count?” Torchie asked, sounding amused. Wally rolled his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, what’s done is done” Wally dismissed. “Who did you get? Donna”?

“Uh, I was invited a couple of days ago,” Torchie said. “I didn’t even know there was gonna be Secret Santa”.

“Oops” Donna said with a little laugh. Wally looked unimpressed.

“Then what’s that you have wrapped?” Kara asked. Torchie pulled it out from behind him.

“Well I didn’t know if I was supposed to bring food or anything, so I just thought I would bring a group gift,” Torchie said. “It’s a gift for everyone. I just finished it today, that's why I was late”.

“You finished it?” Kori asked, leaning forward. She smiled at him. “Did you make us something”?

“Did you draw us a pretty picture?” Wally taunted. Torchie smirked and Donna had to hide her laughter.

“Actually,” Torchie said, handing the gift to Wally. “Yeah, I did”.

Wally looked suspicious as he grabbed the gift and carefully unwrapped it. His eyes widened.

“Oh”.

Everyone got up and stood around Wally to be able to look. Both of Donna’s hands went to her mouth because it was perfect. It was a painting of all of them, Titans A, B, West, and Kara. Everyone was drawn with such amazing attention to detail, every single one of their personalities shining through.

“Torchie, you drew this?” Bird asked, not tearing his gaze from the painting.

“I didn’t know you could draw,” Connor said softly. Torchie shrugged from where he sat on the couch. He didn’t get up to look at it with the rest of them.

“It’s my job. I’m a freelance artist” he explained, then his head moved so he was looking at Wally. “I have a BFA in art. You know, from the University of Southern California”.

Donna expected Wally to shoot back Torchie’s obvious teasing, but instead he looked up at Torchie with a blank expression. Torchie’s shoulders rose a bit.

“You didn’t draw yourself here” Wally said. Torchie’s head tilted again.

“No. Should I have”?

Wally didn’t answer.

“This is great! We should hang it up somewhere” Kori said excitedly and Bird nodded.

“Well now I feel bad that no one got you anything,” Roy said. “Damn”.

“It’s okay really. I was invited last minute. I’m just happy to-“!

“Great idea Joey” Connor said, jumping up and running off. “I’ll be back”!

The Westies were whispering to each other and Donna didn’t know if she should feel bad or good about this.

“Should we wait for Connor?” Wally asked. Roy snorted.

“Nah”. They started karaoke.

Karaoke was kind of a Titans tradition. It started when the five of them were younger and they used to go all the time to this place in San Francisco that also sold really good food. Then they started inviting Titans B and doing it at Titans events like the Christmas party and the Titans retreats, and now Titans West was involved.

“Hey” Torchie said, as he stood next to her, his hand grazing hers. They both watched Gar and Vic get their song ready. “Did you like the painting”?

“I did, it was beautiful. Thank you, really” Donna said honestly, turning to him and putting a hand on his upper arm. “I’m sorry you didn’t get anything”.

“It’s fine really. But speaking of people who didn’t get anything” he said, motioning towards her. It was true, she didn’t get anything either, but she was fine with that. Then she realized that he was pulling something out of his jacket. “I got you something”.

“Oh, you didn’t have to,” she said, looking at the little box he had in his hand. He lifted it up a bit more, a silly smile on his face, and she took it with a laugh. “I- oh! Oh Torchie it’s beautiful”!

It was a simple silver bracelet with a blue gem in the middle that glittered in the light.

“I know it’s not like, the most glamorous thing in the world but-“ he cut himself off, suddenly looking a bit nervous. “The stone. It reminded me of your eyes”.

She smiled, her heart fluttering a bit at that statement. Did he spend a lot of time looking into her eyes? Thinking about them? Was he going to get her something and settled on this because of the stone, or did he decide to buy it for her because of the stone?

She wondered what color eyes he had.

She also felt bad. She hadn’t gotten him anything, no one had gotten him anything, but he had come with a gift for everyone and a smile on his face.

“I love it” she said, slipping it on. She reached out and laced their fingers together. “Thank you”.

His thumb traced the back of her hand softly, and she could feel his ring against her hand. When had they gotten so close?

“I found it” Connor yelled as he ran back into the living room, and Donna and Torchie quickly separated. Connor looked around and grinned when he spotted them, jumping over Roy (who was laying on the floor) and stopping in front of them. “For you”!

In Connor’s hand was a small, stuffed orange chicken with a flame coming out of its head. Donna just kind of stared at it, not really knowing what to make of it.

“The four of us went to the mall the other day to do some last minute Christmas shopping and stuff, and we saw this and thought of you. It was gonna be a stupid gag gift for later, but then you didn’t get anything today so here it is” Connor explained. “It’s-“!

“Torchic!” Torchie said excitedly as he carefully took the plushie from Connor.

“You know about Pokemon?” Wally and Bird asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” Torchie laughed, running his thumbs over the plushie softly. Wally looked like he was solving a very hard math equation.

“We got you Torchic because you Torchie” M’gann explained.

“Thanks guys,” Torchie said. Connor seemed happy with his job well done and went back to claim a spot in karaoke.

“You gonna sing tonight?” Donna asked, reaching over to run a hand over the stuffed animal in Torchie’s hand. He took a long slip from the red cup in his other hand before laughing.

“Oh no. My talent in the arts is in my hands, not my vocal cords” he told her. She raised an eyebrow but he just shook his head.

Then everyone who was drinking drank even more and well- yeah they got drunk pretty fast. She blamed it on the fact that they were making their own drinks, mixing juice and alcohol, meaning they got to put in any amount of alcohol they wanted. Donna was a bit tipsy, but besides her, Kara, and the ones not drinking alcohol, everyone else was really drunk. Like.

Really drunk.

Karaoke was great as always. There was a tier list at the tower: “Wow, you should be a singer!”, “Hey you're good!”, “okay”, and “Put the Damn Mic Down”. Wally, Garth, Kara, Connor, and Kori fell into the first category, and it was always a treat when they would do karaoke. In the second category was Karen and Bird. In the third category was Vic, Roy, Jackson, M’gann, and Donna, and in the forth was Gar. Rachel refused to do karaoke, and Joey had told them that he used to sing so they could put him in the “ok” category but they just put him in WYSBAS anyways.

Usually the first two categories would maybe do one song if any at all, and the last two categories would be the ones to sing more songs, but apparently the alcohol was giving people courage today. Donna was basically getting a concert.

At one point even Torchie joined in, doing a duet with Wally of all people that was surprisingly good despite the fact that they were both so drunk.. The highlight of karaoke though was Joey getting on the mic and doing “Tequila”.

Meaning when the one word in the song came up he pointed to the audience and they all shouted tequila.

Titans West and Roy were having the time of their lives just laughing at everyone being drunk, and Donna had to agree. Karaoke was then abandoned in favor of telling stories.

“That was my favorite Halloween costume” Wally said after telling a story about how the five of them went as themselves for Halloween and no one realized it was actually them.

“Loser” Torchie laughed, grimacing after he drank out of his cup that Donna was pretty sure was 3/4 vodka and 1/4 apple juice. She didn’t know why he did that to himself.

“Oh like your Halloween costumes were better” Wally rolled his eyes before putting on a thoughtful face. “Oh! You probably did some artsy thing and made your own Halloween costume didn’t you”?

“Nah I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween” Torchie said with a shrug. “My Mam was a wee bit protective”.

“Your what was what?” Garth asked, looking a bit dazed. He was at least remembering to drink water, currently chugging a big water bottle that Jackson kept refilling.

“She’d never let me cause she was a God fearing Irish Catholic. Made sure I had a healthy fear of Ghosties and Ghoulies. She’d be all like ‘Torchie, don’t-“ and then he proceeded to say something in such a thick Irish accent that Donna couldn’t understand what he was saying. Apparently neither could anyone else in the room.

“What fucking language was that?” Wally asked after counting on his fingers. For some reason?

“I was speaking English,” Torchie said as if Wally was stupid..

“That was not English” Gar laughed and Torchie’s mouth dropped open, offended.

“His mom is Irish,” Donna said, very amused. “Torchie, the accent you used was too thick. She didn’t even have an accent that thick”.

“You never heard her when she was really lecturing me” Torchie defended.

“Wait, you’re Irish? Like, as in your great great great great-“

“Wally”.

“-grandparent was or was she like, born there” Wally asked, leaning forward so fast he almost fell.

“She was born there. Moved here and then had me” Torchie said with a shrug. Wally looked confused and Torchie continued. “Oh yeah, I don’t look it. Apparently I’m half Mexican. Found that out recently”.

That was news to Donna. She knew he wasn’t completely white, it was obvious just by looking at him, but he and his mother never mentioned another heritage before.

“You found that out recently?” Kara asked, amused. Torchie nodded dramatically.

“I know right! I thought I was full Irish! It came out of nowhere!” Torchie told them, arms gesturing wildly. Donna was surprised he didn’t spill his drink.

“Came out of nowhere?” Kara asked in the same tone as the last question. Even the drunk people were looking at Torchie skeptically.

“I just thought I was really tan okay”!

“Fucking dumbass” Wally muttered, shaking his head and taking another sip of his drink.

The conversation then split into a bunch of smaller conversations, and Donna got to overhear Wally, Bird, and Torchie’s nerd conversation. Connor and Joey were also listening in, sending Donna looks when the three nerds started laughing drunkenly for no reason.

Donna thought it was cute.

“Look at them,” Kori laughed. “I should take a video. Send it to Linda”.

“Wait, send it to me too” Donna said as Kori pulled out her phone.

“Send it to the Titans group chat” Connor said excitedly and Kori pointed at him with an approving nod.

Donna had thought the party was a success until she herself got super drunk too, and she didn’t remember the rest of the night. She actually woke up confused, her head on something firm but soft.

It took her a moment to realize that she was on the floor, and that her head was on someone’s chest. Whoever they were, they were covered from the waist up in a soft blanket, so Donna couldn’t see their face. She looked down at the tanned arm about her waist and saw a green ring on his hand, and she looked up and saw the Torchic plush sitting about a foot away, Torchie’s cap on top of it.

Oh.

“I promise this isn’t how I left you”. Donna started and turned to see Connor standing above them with a smile.

“What happened?” Donna whispered and Connor’s smile turned into a grin.

“You all got so drunk that you all fell asleep here last night. It was really funny, thanks for the entertainment” Connor said. “Dad’s Christmas party will never top this”.

Donna rolled her eyes. And Connor pointed between them with raised eyebrows and a teasing smile.

“I was drunk” she hissed and Connor shook his head.

“Nope you two were passed out when I went to bed, and you were next to each other, but you were not touching” Connor whispered, looking smug. Donna’s face burned.

“Hey, shut the fuck up”.

“Hm”? They both turned to Torchie, who went to grab the blanket that was on top of him.

“Don’t”.

“No”.

Donna and Connor hissed out their warnings at the same time and Torchie froze.

“Donna? Connor?” Torchie whispered. “Where am I”?

“Remember the party last night? All of you guys got super drunk and fell asleep in the living room” Connor explained. Torchie’s hand moved slowly to Donna’s head and he slowly prodded her. She suddenly realized she was still laying with her head on his chest, and refused to acknowledge how she missed his arm around her waist.

“Sorry” Donna said as she sat up. Torchie sat up slowly, moving the blanket so it was draped over him more evenly, making him look like a ghost. Donna covered her mouth to keep from laughing, but what he said next changed the mood.

“Did I fuck up? Did you see- did I tell-“ Torchie asked softly, gesturing with his hands when he couldn’t finish. Donna’s eyes widened, because while she hadn’t seen anything, she didn’t know what anyone else had seen.

“No! No, you’re fine! Your identity is still a secret” Connor quickly reassured and Torchie’s entire body language radiated relief. “You actually grabbed the blanket and draped it over yourself before laying on the floor and saying you were tired. Very loudly might I add, in the Irish accent you took on towards the end of the party. You pulled the hat off when you were already covered. Do you really think I would let you accidentally reveal your identity? Have some more faith in me Torchie. All of Titans West were working overtime. I was making sure you didn’t reveal your identity, Jackson was making sure Garth was hydrated, M’gann was making sure no one died, and Joey was taking pictures and videos”!

Donna’s heart warmed at them helping out, but she did feel bad that they were watching out for them. She felt a bit less bad at the mention of Joey’s activities.

“Thanks Connor,” Torchie said.

“Sorry you guys had to watch over us” Donna said. Connor laughed softly.

“Are you kidding? It was totally worth it for all the entertainment we- I mean” Connor backtracked quickly when Donna gave him a look. “Of course we would look out for you, we love you- oh Torchie let me get your hat”.

Connor was quick to grab the hat off of the Torchic plush, grab Torchie’s hand, and put the hat in it. Torchie put the hat on under the blanket before taking it off and putting it around his shoulders. She wondered if he was hot with the sweater, the leather jacket, the blanket, and whatever shirt he had on underneath.

“I think I’m a bit hungover,” Torchie said, putting a hand to his head. Donna took pity on him, feeling a bit sick herself.

“Come on, let’s see what medication we have,” Donna said, standing up and offering him a hand. He grabbed the Torchic plush before taking her hand.

Donna looked around and almost laughed out loud. Garth was asleep in the tank/coffee table, his upper half immersed in water and his lower half hanging out of the tank. Bird and Kori were curled around each other on the floor near the tank, while Kara was splayed out on the couch. Vic was asleep in a sitting position against the wall, and Gar was a small cat, curled up on Vic’s head. Rachel was on the other couch, and Karen was on the floor near the window.

Roy walked in and looked at everyone sleeping with a smile. He then looked at them with a grin and held up a-

“Roy WIlliam” Donna warned. He gave her pleading hands and she sighed before nodding. The three of them stood by the kitchen entrance, hands over their ears, and Roy let off the air horn.

Several things happened at the same time. Garth jumped up and landed back in the tank, causing water to splash out of it and onto Kori and Bird. Vic and Gar startled, Gar jumping into the air and landing in Vic’s lap hard. And fully human. Kara fell off the couch and Karen smacked into the floor to ceiling window. There was a yell from the kitchen, and the three of them were quick to investigate while Kara and Rachel got up and attempted to pursue a fleeing Roy. Donna knew it wouldn’t go well since both of them looked sick.

Wally was on the floor of the kitchen, surrounded by empty snack wrappers. It looked like he fell out of the pantry.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Wally moaned. Torchie snorted, hand flying over his mouth and Donna couldn’t help but laugh too.

~

December 25th, -xxx1

“Celebratory Christmas!” 

KYLE yelped, sitting up and looking around for who had said that. He heard laughter, Tu’s trilling, and Sodam and Sora’s semi-normal laughter. Kyle rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Sodam? How do you even know about Christmas?” Kyle asked, pulling the blanket tighter around himself and shivering. Sodam’s only answer was a noise strange to humans, but Kyle had heard both Sodam and Kara make often enough. He equated it to being smug.

Aliens were weird, but cool.

“What are your plans for today? Did you sleep well enough that the big red man left you gifts under the arboreal you keep indoors” Tu asked.

“Did you behave for the sake of goodness?” Sora asked. He could hear her trying not to laugh.

“You guys suck” Kyle groaned. “I’m at Hal’s. The others minus Jess are coming over around lunch. No idea what we’re gonna do though, probably just hang out”.

Kyle then realized that he was alone in Hal’s room. They had gotten back late from Ollie’s last night and had both crashed in Hal’s bed, but now Hal was nowhere to be seen. Kyle couldn’t hear him in the shower or in the kitchen. He might’ve gone out to get something, but on Christmas?

Kyle looked down at his lap and saw Hal’s jacket. Had that been draped over him?

“Look at you, not isolating yourself” Sora teased. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Doctors orders,” he reminded her.

“I remember, I’m just surprised you're listening to me” Sora said as Kyle laid down. He pulled the jacket to his chest.

“I can listen. I’m a really good listener actually” Kyle informed her. Sora made a sarcastic humm of agreement.

“The more time you spend with Hal, the more that will change” Tu promised and Kyle laughed. He talked to them often enough, but it was always good to hear from his friends. Unfortunately there was a knock from somewhere else in the apartment, causing Kyle to sit up.

“Gotta go, someone is here. But that’s for the celebratory wishes” Kyle laughed. “Talk to you guys later”.

Kyle got out of bed and went to grab his ring off of the nightstand when he realized he was already wearing it, which- duh, he had been talking through it just now. He didn’t like sleeping with the ring on, but he must’ve forgotten to take it off before he fell asleep. Good thing he didn’t have any nightmares, that would’ve been a disaster. He pulled his hat on and- he hesitated for way too long before shrugging on Hal’s jacket. Hal let him use it before, so he wouldn’t mind right?

Kyle left Hal’s room and didn’t see Hal anywhere in the kitchen or living room, confirming Kyle’s thought that Hal had gone out. Guy was standing on the balcony, grocery bags at his feet.

“Merry Christmas kid” Guy said when Kyle opened the door. “Help me get these in”.

“Merry Christmas” Kyle responded, hurrying to grab some of the bags and take them into the kitchen. “You’re here early”.

“Who did you think was gonna make lunch?” Guy asked as he started taking things out of bags. “If it was Hal we would starve”.

“That’s true,” Kyle said, remembering the eggs Hal had made them when Kyle was staying at his apartment. They had been horrible, but Kyle forced himself to eat them anyway. It made him miss Wally West, that’s how bad they were.

“Where is Hal?” Guy asked as he started prepping. Kyle sat at the counter.

“I dunno. I woke up and he wasn’t here” Kyle told him. Guy rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically, before he continued cooking. 

“He won’t be back for a while” Guy said. “Of course he doesn’t even try to help”.

It would just be him and Guy until 1pm then. He didn’t mind that though, it was actually perfect.

“Can we uh, talk about something?” Kyle asked. He could see Guy raise an eyebrow, but he stayed focused on his task.

“We're already talking” Guy pointed out and Kyle laughed, embarrassed. 

“Uh, yeah that’s true. But uh, I wanted to thank you” Kyle said, unsure how Guy would feel about this topic.

“You’re welcome” Guy said immediately, his tone smug. “What for? I do a lot?”

“For staying with my mom. When she was dying, " Kyle said. This time Guy looked over at him, his eyes serious.

“You don’t have to thank me for that-“.

“It meant a lot to me. You didn’t have to do that, we weren’t even talking anymore” Kyle said. Guy scoffed.

“We didn’t need to be talking for me to help you out. I know everything was weird then, I don’t blame you for it” Guy said, turning back to whatever he was cooking. “You’re here with us now, whether you like it or not, kid. You’re stuck with us”.

 “I wouldn’t say stuck with you guys” Kyle said, not being able to keep from smiling. Guy laughed.

“You’ll be singing a different tune by the end of today, I can promise you that” Guy said, and Kyle did NOT like that look on his face.

Simon and John arrived just before lunch, but Hal was still nowhere to be seen. Kyle had been starting to get worried, but John and Guy had reassured him Hal was fine after they shared a look. Simon had shrugged, just as clueless as Kyle. At exactly 1pm, Hal came back to the apartment, looking sheepish. He was carrying a bag of something.

“You took a long time,” John noted from where he sat at the table. Hal laughed, putting the bag on the kitchen counter before he took his seat at the table..

“Oops? But the food looks great” Hal said with a smile. 

“Uh huh, no thanks to you” Guy said, equally as dry as John. “Did you do it”?

“Yep! Presents delivered to the kiddos, and they sent some back” Hal said, gesturing to the bag he had put down on the counter.

“Mhm. And did you talk to Helen?” John asked, Hal opened his mouth but then closed it. “Hal-”.

“I know! I know! I was going to honestly! I just-“ Hal sighed, putting his face in his hands. “It’s Christmas. I don’t wanna ruin her Christmas”.

Guy opened his mouth to say something but John shook his head. Guy glared at him before speaking, and Kyle was so sure he had just ignored John and was going to push the topic but-

“Then why were you gone so long?” Guy asked, his voice even. Hal looked up at him and blinked. “Were you talking to Carol?”

There was that name again. Who was Carol? The name had been said several times, yet no one ever explained who she was. Kyle had spoken about it with Jess and Simon, but neither of them knew who Carol was either. The three of them had their own theories of course.

Simon thought Carol was a daughter that Hal only found out about recently. Both Kyle and Jess had argued that Hal was saying every five seconds how he didn’t want kids, but Simon had insisted. He reasoned she was the result of a one night stand because apparently Hal was “like that”, and that Hal didn’t know until her mother confronted him more recently. Kyle had thought she was a pet sitter Hal didn’t want to confront for over feeding his pet, and Jess and Simon had just stared at him before pointing out that Hal did not have a pet. Kyle had been embarrassed, but he didn’t want to admit his error and just said “that we know of”!

Jess thought it was an ex-girlfriend, but Kyle and Simon doubted that.

Kyle  and Simon sat forward eagerly, hoping to finally get some information, but Hal shook his head and the other two groaned.

“I know! I know! I’ll get to it!” Hal said. He looked at Kyle and grinned. “Why talk about me when we could talk about Torchie”?

“Me?! Why can’t we talk about Simon?” Kyle argued and Simon looked offended. Kyle was sad that Jess wasn’t here to back him up, because against Simon she was usually on Kyle’s side.

“Your case!” Hal continued as if Kyle hadn’t said anything. “You guys have a mission tomorrow”!

“I- yeah we do. Last time nothing really happened, I just sat on a rooftop and stared at the mall” Kyle said after remembering that he could talk about his case with them. They were League members.

The seat on the League was first and foremost Hal’s. He was a founding Justice League member, he had been doing this for years, it was his seat. But if Hal was busy (or if he just didn’t want to come, Kyle was told) one of the other Lanterns would take his spot in whatever he was called for, meeting or mission. It rotated who would take it, and also depended on who was available at the time. This had been how the seat was when it had been Hal, Guy, and John, and of course that had stopped after Kyle became the last Green Lantern. Now there were 6 people for it to rotate in between.

“Sounds boring. I know you guys called it babysitting jokingly, but it really is babysitting isn’t it?” Simon asked. Kyle had talked about his part in the case with the other Lanterns after he rejoined. Hal and John had known the basics, but Jess and Simon hadn’t even known it existed. Guy knew more since he had been working with the League still as Warrior, something John couldn’t do because of his injuries.

“Yeah. I don’t really need to be there, neither does Kara. The League is just being over protective” Kyle told them. “I don’t really mind though, the Titans are cool. And Wally’s there too I guess”.

Hal laughed and they finished lunch before heading to Hal’s living room. Apparently the plan had been to go to Jim’s, but since Hal did not talk to Helen, they had to stay at Hal’s. Hal’s living room had a dead looking plant in the corner that was currently serving as a Christmas tree, with presents they had gotten one another under it. Simon had Jess’s presents for them, and they would give her her’s later.

Kyle had gotten a sketchbook and some new brushes from Simon, and Jess has sent a basket of different candies, art stuff, and best of all UberEats gift cards. Jess clearly understood him. Though with Simon’s gifts, he could try out the new paints he got from Donna last night that Wally delivered at Olliver’s Christmas party. He had no idea how she knew that was the brand he used, and they were expensive because they were good quality, so it was really cool of her. Really, really cool of her actually. Yeah.

The best gift of the day was Guy gifting Hal a cup that said “You're a Ho Ho Ho!” on it in big green letters. Hal had accepted it in delight, very happy with his gift until Guy had said “Well, not any more”, and then Hal had threatened to chuck it at his head to Guy’s delight.

“One last gift” Hal said excitedly and Kyle blinked when Hal pointed at him. “Close your eyes”.

Kyle did, hoping that Hal wouldn’t put an anaconda on him or something. He could hear Simon laugh and call out “cheap” before his laughter abruptly stopped when a couple of things were placed in his lap. 

“Oh shit” Simon said and Kyle had a bad feeling about this. “You guys could’ve let me in on this ya know”!

“This is a joint gift from the three of us” Kyle heard Guy, who was apparently ignoring Simon, say. 

“You can look now,” John said, sounding amused. Kyle opened his eyes, looked down, and saw-

“You guys did not” Kyle squeaked out, taking the main box in his hands gently with wide eyes.

In his hand was the newest tablet made by Queen Industries in the biggest size. It was the best brand of tablet for drawing by far, with customizable action buttons on the side, fantastic color display that was consistent across screens, and a smooth interface. Kyle couldn’t even believe he was holding it, since it was super expensive. They had even gotten him a case and the stylus that went with the tablet, which was also super expensive.

“You mentioned you needed a new one,” John said. “We did the research for it, but were we wrong”?

“No I- it’s perfect” Kyle said in disbelief. “But I mentioned it once to Jess, and all I said was that my drawing tablet died on me”.

“We were in the room ya know” Guy pointed out, looking amused.

“I- but- this is expensive, I can't accept this” Kyle said, handing it back to them, stylus and case on top.

It was like- his dream tablet, but he couldn’t allow anyone to spend that much money on him. He had been planning to buy a cheaper one, not yet sure if it would be a good idea to dip into his savings.

“We divided it between the three of us, it’s fine. It’s a gift, keep it” Hal said, gently pushing it back towards Kyle. He then wrapped an arm around Kyle’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Merry Christmas kid”.

“I- Thanks guys” Kyle said, sinking into the embrace and just accepting the gift.

“Open it! Draw something” Simon urged and Kyle opened it with a smile, Hal’s arm still around his shoulders. 

While he set it up, the others started an uno game. He didn’t play the first round, but he did watch them. John won, with the only argument during the round being between Simon and Guy.

“You can’t stack draw fours!”

“What? Yes you can!”

“No, the official account tweeted you can’t!”

“The official- Guy, you literally stacked a draw four twice in just this fucking round-!”

Kyle drew them arguing, waving cards in the air and getting in each other's face with a peaceful looking John in the background, while Hal watched him. Kyle was so sure Hal had 40 something cards in his hand. After a couple more rounds, Kyle switching in between playing and drawing, they decided to switch to playing heads up.

“What’s that?” Hal asked. Simon explained while Hal just stared at him. “So like charades”?

“What? I- no, yeah. It’s basically charades”.

Of course they barely started before an argument happened. This time, it was between Hal and John on whether you could mimic noises. Kyle watched, amused and warm as he sat in between Simon and Guy on the couch. Eventually it became a group argument and Kyle’s head started to hurt.

Guy was right, he took it back. He was stuck with them, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Chapter Text

September 24th, -xxx1

“We should swim,” Garth suggested. DONNA raised an eyebrow.

“None of us brought bathing suits,” Donna pointed out. Garth shrugged.

“We could skinny dip” Roy suggested and Wally looked disgusted.

“I don’t wanna see any of you naked” Wally said and Roy rolled his eyes.

“In our underwear you moron”!

“That's not what skinny dipping is-”!

“Works for me” Donna said, standing up from where they were all sitting in the sand.

She started taking off her shirt and the boys looked away quickly. She rolled her eyes and took off the rest of her clothes before folding them. She set them down and jumped in the water. When she resurfaced she saw that Garth was also getting out of his clothes.

“Of course you have a bathing suit underneath,” Kara laughed. Garth shrugged as he left his clothes in a pile.

“Some kinds of clothes feel uncomfortable when wet,” Garth explained before jumping in. He resurfaced with a laugh, floating on his back easily. “Join us guys”!

Kara and Roy started to undress, and after a second of hesitation Wally joined them. Soon the five of them were in the water, leaving just Bird and Four on the shore. The seven of them had decided to take a walk from the Tower and ended up sitting on the shore and talking. Bird was in casual clothes but wearing sunglasses and a hat, while Four was also in casual clothes with his usual hat pulled low on his face.

Neither could really join them without revealing their identities, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t try to get them in so they at least wouldn’t feel left out.

“Come on guys! The water’s nice” Garth called, smiling.

“Here birdie, birdie, birdie!” Wally called, patting the surface of the water. Donna laughed, but stopped abruptly when Nightwing stood up and started taking off his clothes.

“Hey wait, you don't have to-” Donna started, but quickly stopped and looked away when Bird took off his shades.

“Relax guys, I came prepared. Look” Bird said. They turned around to see him slipping into the water, a domino mask over his eyes. She could feel everyone collectively rolling their eyes. Donna turned to see Four sitting on the shore still. He offered them a little wave.

“Join us!” Kara called out, arms open wide.

“We won’t make fun of your face if you’re ugly” Wally said and then paused. “Well okay I will, but because it’s you! Not the ugliness”!

“Join us fully clothed, I won’t let you drown” Garth called out. Donna thought about it.

“Take your pants off-“ Donna called out, stopping when Roy gagged.

“Okay Donna” Garth said laughing and Kara nodding approvingly as Four’s head snapped to look at Donna.

“Donna, that's gross” Wally said and Roy gave her a weird look. Bird was laughing and Donna rolled her eyes.

“Let me finish!” Donna snapped. “I was gonna tell him to take his pants off and put his legs in the water”.

“I don’t know Donna-“

“Shut up Wally or I’ll drown you”.

“Wait no- come on Donna! I-“!

There was suddenly a huge splash and Donna had to turn away so that it didn’t get in her eyes. When she looked back, Four was resurfacing.

“The water is nice,” he said with a grin. Donna glanced back at the shore to see his clothes neatly folded with the hat lying on top. Four was now wearing only his Green Lantern mask.

“Smart” Kara said as Donna hip checked him a bit too hard and he staggered a bit, laughing when he realized what had happened.

They spent a couple hours just playing around in the water and talking and honestly? It was great. It was the first time the six of them all had really gotten along with Four. Well, it wasn't like they all hadn’t gotten along with him, but it had been tense among the boys. Wally and Roy flat out just didn’t like him, Bird had been a bit cautious, and Garth just hadn't known what to make of him. But today they just all had a good time together. There was no arguing, no glaring, and no talks of cases and their futures. It was all so perfect.

Then they turned back to get their clothing and found they were no longer there.

“Uh” Wally said laughing nervously. “What”?

They all started looking around but were quickly stopped by laughter. They turned to see Titans West a bit farther up the path, holding their clothes and grinning.

“Looking for these” Connor asked looking smug. The other three were holding back laughter.

“Alright, alright, give them back” Bird said with a laugh. Connor frowned.

“See, Titans B said not to” Connor said, taking a step back.

“Connor,” Donna said warningly. He looked apologetic at least.

“Sorry guys!” Connor said and the group took off.

“Connor Nathan you bitch” Roy yelled. Wally started wading towards the shore.

“I’ll get them, don't worry,” Wally said.

“And if M’gann has her shield up” Four asked. Wally paused. That would’ve left Wally standing there in his underwear with no way to get their clothes back.

“Then I’ll just run to the tower and get us clothes or towels or something” Wally said as he kept going.

“Barry and Clark are still at the tower,” Kara pointed out. “They will see you running around in your underwear”.

Wally groaned and fell back into the water.

“I’m gonna kill Titans B” Roy grumbled. “I’m gonna kill Titans West”!

“Need a hand?” Donna asked darkly.

“What’s the plan?” Garth asked as he floated on his back in the water, doing lazy circles around Bird.

“I’m thinking,” Bird said. It was starting to get cold, even in the water. Eventually Wally had enough.

“Fuck it, every man for themselves” Wally said before zipping off. After a couple of seconds, Kara started laughing.

“Barry just yelled at him and Clark is averting his eyes” Kara told them. Garth got out of the water next.

“Good luck guys” Garth said. Stupid bathing suit, but she really didn’t wanna stay there any longer either. She was going to get up but a hand grabbed hers so she stayed, curious.

“Alright, let’s get this over with” Roy sighed as he got out of the water and ran off, Bird quickly followed as he laughed.

“Any reason you’re keeping us hostage Four?” Kara asked when the others were far away enough, lifting up her and Four’s joined hands. Donna did the same with Four’s hand and her own.

“I was just thinking that we should use our heads,” Four said, dropping their hands and getting out of the water. Donna stared appreciatively. It was the most she’s ever seen of his body, and while he wasn’t very muscular compared to the male Titans or guys she’s dated before, he still looked good. Really good.

Unfortunately his Green Lantern uniform materialized over his body.

“You kept us back to brag?” Kara asked, eyebrow raised. Four grinned.

“I’m being helpful,” Four said, gesturing to them. Donna and Kara looked down, and Donna realized that Four had made construct clothes for them.

“Four you are absolutely my favorite, have I told you that before?” Kara said as she floated out of the water and landed on the shore. Donna followed. “Because you are”.

“Aw thanks” Four said, flashing them a smile. “I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when we walk in”

-

December 26th, -xxx1

DICK paced the meeting room. This was their last chance to get information, they couldn’t mess up.

The plan was the same as usual. Wally, Donna, Garth, and Roy would be on the ground while Dick, Torchie, and Kara are on standby nearby but- Dick really needed that information from the computer. The self hacking drive wasn’t working out, and Schott’s computer could have the information they needed.

Dick was really considering getting on the ground and hacking into the computer himself. But that would put his secret identity at risk, and he couldn’t have too many people on the ground. He couldn’t risk a remote hack either, this was their last chance.

Who would he move around if he did?

Torchie had to stay on standby. Dick knew he himself could possibly do his task and not accidentally reveal his identity, but there wasn’t any reason to put Torchie in a stressful position if it wasn’t needed. He really needed Donna on the ground, and would prefer Roy to stay on the ground too. But would it be a good idea to change the plan at the last second?

It was a difficult choice.

“Let’s go over the plan one last time” Dick said when everyone arrived. The air was tense, and everyone was paying close attention to Dick. They needed to do well, they couldn’t afford to mess up. Dick couldn’t afford to take a risk but-

He had to.

“I’m changing the teams” Dick decided and everyone looked alarmed. “I know, it’s last minute, but I need to be on the floor. I’m gonna hack into Schott’s computer”.

Wally opened his mouth to say something but then closed it, looking away. Dick- he would have to deal with that later.

“Troia, Red Arrow, and I will be on the floor, and Green Lantern, Supergirl, Flash, and Tempest will be on standby” Dick told them.

“Bird, if you get into trouble, we won’t have eyes on you” Donna said. “And your identity-“!

“I’ll be fine. Trust me. When I finish I’ll immediately change back and join the standby group. Tempest and I will switch” Dick said. Donna hesitated but nodded. “I’ve added a pickup point just in case things go south. This fountain here. Supergirl can swoop down and get me, I’ll have a domino mask on me. Standby team you’ll be on the roof here. Green Lantern and Supergirl will keep watch over their already assigned points, Tempest will take over mine and Flash will take the unoccupied one”.

They would be fine. They could do this. They had gone over the plan plenty of times, and there was only one change-

The mall wasn’t outdoor. That was a big change.

“How old was our data?” Dick hissed over comms.

“It’s from this year! This had to be a pretty recent addition” Flash said from over comms.

The event was supposed to take place in a covered but open air courtyard, but now that whole section was indoors. If things went south for Dick, it would take Supergirl even more time to find him, and the fountain wasn’t even there anymore.

Dick hesitated again. It was a bad idea, he shouldn’t do that. But- fuck he had no choice.

“Supergirl, join us on the ground” Dick said into comms. “Tempest, you’re standby team leader until I get back up there”.

Dick could have Supergirl wait for him, and the two could join the standby team together. And if there was an attack, Supergirl could get in on the action faster. But now Dick was leaving Green Lantern and Flash on a small team together. Last time he left them together, he thought they died. But Garth would be there, they would be fine.

“On it,” Supergirl said. Dick looked around.

“Wait for me in front of the Zumiez” Dick instructed. “I shouldn’t be too long”.

“Affirmative”. 

Dick entered the toy store and squeezed in between people, keeping his head down. He had to take off his sunglasses so he wouldn’t look too suspicious, and angle his hat so that people could see his face, but not the cameras. He had made sure that none of the team had seen him before the mission so they wouldn’t recognize his clothes. Roy was staying near Schott, but hopefully wouldn’t recognize Dick. 

Dick hid behind a stand and quickly hacked the cameras before entering the employees only area. All the employees were on the floor working the store, so it was easy for Dick to slip into the manager's office and find Schott’s computer. He sat down and started the hack.

It started out easy, Dick easily getting through weak fire walls, but then the computer started fighting back. Dick was surprised that it seemed that someone was trying to kick him out in real time, taking files off of the usb he was downloading them to. This was probably why the self hacking usb didn’t have any information on it. He knew Wally had done it right.

It took him more time than he wanted to, but he eventually got all the information he needed and quickly ejected the usb. After checking on his wrist computer that the usb still had data on it, Dick quickly left the toy store, avoiding Donna and Roy and putting his shades back on.

“Check in” Dick said over comms.

“Still have eyes on Schott. Nothing fun” Roy said.

“Nothing fun here either” Donna said.

“Still in position” Kara said.

Silence.

“Standby team, check in” Dick said over comms.

Silence.

Dick’s heart stopped. And he pinged each one of them directly to no answer. 

“Supergirl-“.

“On my way over there,” Kara said quickly. He could hear her fear.

“Wing-“!

“I’m on my way up there now” Dick said quickly exiting the mall and running over to where he stashed his gear. He’s never changed so quickly in his life.

“Wing they’re not here” Supergirl said frantically as Dick changed. He changed faster.

“What do you mean? Can you find them?” Roy asked frantically as Donna whispered “Oh please, no”.

“I can’t hear their heartbeats and I don’t see them on any other rooftops” Kara said as Dick pulled out his grapple and ran towards the building. 

It couldn’t be. They- they had to be okay! They had to- Dick would make it on top of the roof top and they would be there and Kara would be laugh and they would yell ‘gotcha’ and Dick wouldn’t even be mad, he would laugh and-

Kara was the only one on the rooftop, eyes wide and frantic.

No. Nononono, not someone else! No one else was supposed to get hurt! No one else was supposed to-

Dick looked around for clues. There was nothing there, no sign of struggle. He went to the edge and looked around the building but they weren’t on the floor. He pulled out his binoculars but they weren’t on any of the back up rooftops and-

“Nightwing? What’s going on?” Roy asked, sounding frantic. Dick took a deep breath to steady himself, trying to shove the sounds of gunshots and screaming out of his head, of running and the anger and-

“Nightwing”?

“Red Arrow, where’s Schott?” Dick asked. 

“I’ve still got eyes on him, he’s here still but-“.

“Supergirl, get Red Arrow and Troia, make sure they make it up here safely” Dick ordered. “Update me over comms every step of the way”.

“What are we gonna do?” Kara asked. Dick switched his comm channels.

“Nightwing to Justice League, we need help. Now”!

_

WALLY tried to shove down his frustration. He thought that the information he had gotten on Mei-Hua would’ve made Bird trust him again but he was apparently wrong. He took Wally off the floor because he kept fucking up with getting the computer information, and now he was stuck on the roof staring at the city below with a pair of binoculars instead of being useful. He wasn’t even staring at the fucking mall.

Wally should be down there being helpful! He could do it, he just needed a chance to prove himself! He had practiced with that fucking drive so many times leading up to this for nothing apparently.

Okay, shoving down his frustration was making it worse. But like- he couldn’t just keep staring at nothing. Bird probably gave him this direction as busy work, just like the League did to them when they gave them the Toyman case. Wally stood up and went over to where Torchie and Tempest were. Torchie was hunched over on himself a bit, rubbing his upper arms, and Tempest seemed to be nursing a headache. Torchie jumped a bit when Wally stopped beside him.

“Flash? We gotta keep watch on our areas-“ Torchie started, and rage flowed through Wally. Of course the guy with the best area was telling him to go back to his shitty area.

“Who made you the boss of me? You think you're better than me?” Wally snapped, his rage climbing a bit more just looking at Torchie. He remembered how Torchie just easily became a League member despite having just gotten his ring, that he could go on whatever cases he wanted and didn’t have to be babysat, that he tried to replace Uncle Hal-

Wally’s head hurt just thinking about it.

“No? What’s up with you?” Torchie asked, not even looking at him-

“Maybe I’m tired of you thinking you don’t have to do anything and you can get whatever you want. Some of us actually work for this, you know. We don’t all just waltz in and get everything handed to us” Wally snapped. Torchie shook his head, his eyes still on the west side of the mall.

“Flash” Tempest warned from his spot, not looking over at them.

“I’ve worked hard to earn this ring and you know that. Can you have this temper tantrum later? We’re kinda in the middle of something important, just in case you forgot” Torchie huffed. “Telling me I don’t do anything when you’re literally not doing anything is bold actually”.

Wally’s blood was absolutely boiling. They really thought they were so much better than him? They wouldn’t even look at him! Who did Garth think he was? Wally has worked with the Justice League, what has Garth done? He almost quit the team once because he was their weakest member! And Torchie, who couldn't even save his girlfriend from a D rated villain and got so upset from words that Wally said that he ran off to space to cry about it? Who was hiding with Uncle Hal because-

“Not doing anything? Just like you did in the war because you were too busy hosting Parallax”? Torchie whirled around finally, mouth open but no sound coming out. Good, he seemed horrified. “How much did you help in the war? Probably only the other side”.

“Flash that’s-“ Garth started as he walked over, abandoning his station, but Torchie got up quickly and shoved Wally. Wally barely moved.

Weak.

“The fuck is wrong with you” Torchie snarled, but Wally could easily see it was a front for fear. What a shitty Green Lantern. “How do you even-“?

“CC told me” Wally said and he could see Torchie’s eyes widen on his mask. “What? Did you think you were so important that this wouldn’t get around? That he cared enough to-“!

“Enough” Garth snapped, getting in between them. He looked pissed off, which was very unlike him. “We are on a mission, get back to your stations”!

Torchie turned around and sat back in his spot, making a pair of construct binoculars to overlook his area. Wally wanted to say something else, really hurt hi-

Wally took a step back, feeling like he had just been slapped in the face. What- why did he- oh no. He basically just told Garth- Tempest that Torchie had been possessed by fucking Parallax. He had used that against Torchie. He thought of Tempest as weak and-

“I-“ Wally started but Tempest cut him off.

“Save it for the debrief” Tempest snapped, pointing at Wally’s spot. “Go keep watch on your area”.

Wally did as he was told, feeling so guilty. What came over him? Why had he said that without any fucking remorse? Maybe the League was right and he wasn’t field ready? Maybe he was what was holding Titans A back? Wally picked up his binoculars and started looking around, ignoring how much his hands were shaking. Fuck his head hurt.

He almost just screwed up another mission, which was the thing he was mad about in the first place. Bird was right to give him a busy work job on this mission, the League was right not to let him join them when he first took up the Flash mantle! He didn’t even deserve the-

What was that? No way-

“Schott’s leaving the area!” Wally said over comms.

“What?” Tempest replied, and he and Torchie ran to his side.

“Look, there!” Wally pointed out and there was Schott, looking around before turning a corner. “We have to go after him”!

“Tempest to Nightwing, do we pursue” Tempest asked. There was no reply.

“He’s in deep cover and we don’t have time, come on” Wally said and Garth nodded. If Wally helped catch Schott, he could redeem himself.

Wally grabbed Garth and ran down to where Schott was so they could follow him, Torchie flying behind them. They followed him for several blocks, keeping their distance, until he went into a construction site.

“What would he do at a construction site?” Torchie asked, rubbing his upper arms. He was shivering.

“Maybe he left something there- are you okay?” Wally asked and Torchie nodded, not looking at him.

“It’s December in New York, I’m freezing. Let’s just get on with the mission” Torchie said, his voice strained. But the Green Lantern suits were supposed to regulate their temperature. Torchie wasn’t supposed to feel cold-

“Come on, before he gets too far” Tempest said and they continued their pursuit. They followed him deeper into the construction zone until he paused again. They watched from a distance as Schott looked around again before opening a door and slipping inside, shutting it behind him.

“Where does that lead?” Wally asked, with a frown. He looked around, studying the construction site. They were near water, with Tempest they had an advantage.

“Let’s find out,” Tempest said. The door had no locking mechanisms on it so they easily went through it, dropped down, and found themselves in a big concrete tube. Wally couldn’t see where it ended on either side, each end continuing into darkness. “A rainwater collection system”?

“He must be using this to get to his next destination undetected” Wally said. “Come on, let’s-“!

There was a gasping noise that made both Tempest and Wally whirl around to Torchie. He was holding himself and hunched over, shaking.

“Torchie-?” Wally said, walking over.

“No! Nonono it’s happening again! Not now I-“ he cut himself off with a gasp of pain and clutched his head as he crouched down.

He was having a panic attack again. Wally and Tempest rushed over, not getting too close to crowd him, but close enough to make sure he was okay. Had what Wally said triggered him?

“Hey, it’s okay. Breathe” Wally coached as Torchie started to hyperventilate. Wally reached out his hand to gently grab Torchie’s. “Just give me your hand-“.

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” Torchie snapped, curling in on himself tighter. Wally felt like Torchie wasn’t talking to him, and that gave him a really bad feeling. He cried out in pain again as he clutched his head. Wally glanced at Tempest who looked confused. Wally had never had a panic attack that gave him a headache before. Not like that.

“Tempest to team, how close are you?” Tempest said over comms. “We have a man down”.

They waited for a reply but nothing.

“Tempest to team, this is an emergency” Tempest tried again, but nothing. He turned to Wally. “We’ll have to abandon our pursuit and get Torchie somewhere safe”.

And that- that sucked. Wally understood, he wasn’t just gonna leave Torchie here, especially when he was so sure that this was his fault. He should’ve never mentioned Parallax or brought Uncle Hal into it and- Wally needed to focus. He shoved the ugly memories away quickly, his head hurting when he did. Where was the rest of the team? Maybe the comms had no signal because they were underground?

A weak excuse even to Wally’s ears.

Tempest stood up, climbed up the ladder, and went to open the door, but it didn’t move. He frowned and tried again, shoving his body into it, but nothing. Not even with Tempest’s enhanced strength? The door didn’t have a lock though-

“It won’t open?” Tempest asked, bewildered. Wally stood up and zipped over, trying to phase through it. He could open it from the other side or go get help-

He couldn’t phase through it. Why couldn’t he phase through it? This was bad.

“No other choice but to keep going,” Tempest sighed. “The ocean is this way, so there has to be a way out up ahead. Stay with Torchie, I’ll check it out”.

Wally nodded and went back to kneel next to Torchie, who was not doing well. Wally was actually worried he was gonna pass out.

“Let me help you Torchie” Wally asked softly. “Please, Im sorry for what I said, I didn’t-“!

“No! Nonono! Please” Torchie begged between gasps. He was sitting on the floor fully now, head in his hands and knees to his chest. He was still shaking. “I don’t wanna be alone! I can’t be alone, please help me”!

Wally really wanted to help him, but- Tempest cried out suddenly and Wally turned to see him on the floor a couple yards away, just barely in view. He got up and ran over, his mind telling him not to use his superspeed for some reason-?

“Flash?” Wally looked up to see Tempest on his feet a couple feet away, looking confused.

“What? But you-“ Wally stopped short when he tried to take a step and found his feet were stuck. He looked down and saw that he was standing in some kind of black sticky substance.

What was going on? That wasn’t there before.

Wally tried to use his speed to phase out of it, but it just made the whole thing worse. Tempest came rushing over.

“Don’t move, I’ve got yo-“! There was a loud noise and a bright light, and then nothing.

When Wally came to, he smelled smoke. His entire body ached, his ears were ringing, and his head was pounding. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his ribs took his breath away. He opened his eyes to see Garth lying unconscious several feet away, small fires burning here and there.

An explosion.

“Temp” Wally groaned, trying to push past the pain and get to his fallen friend. He had no idea where he was, but he needed to check on Garth.

He crawled over, his entire body screaming at him not to. There was a horrendous pain in his leg he didn’t even wanna think about, and he was pretty sure he was concussed, but all that mattered was making sure Garth was okay. He could do it.

He finally got over to Garth and assessed the damage. Part of Garth’s suit was burned away to reveal nasty burns on his stomach, but he was breathing. Wally let out a sigh of relief.

“Pathetic”. Wally’s head snapped towards the voice, his head pulsing with pain when he did, and he saw Vandal Savage and Psimon standing a few feet away.

Fuck.

Wally was suddenly hit with memories of his past. Uncle Barry “dieing”, what his parents did to him, Tara dieing, Bird going off the rails in June- he was hit with a wave of anger again, thinking about how unfair it was the Torchie got everything handed to him, that everyone was just throwing Uncle Hal aside, that he worked so hard and-

He was once again back on the floor, staring at Psimon and Savage. Psimon had been playing them.

Torchie-

“Where is the Kryptonian?” Savage asked, pulling out a sword Wally had never seen before from its sheath. Wally swore it was glowing.

He had to get out of here, he needed to get Garth to safety and find Torchie. Wally looked around and realized that they had fell through the floor and into some kind of wide cavern. Torchie was probably somewhere above them still.

Wally glanced at his leg and quickly looked away, horrified to see that something was going through it. He wouldn’t be able to heal fully without getting it out. He wouldn’t be able to run.

“No answer? Find then, you two can be the first test subjects” Savange said walking towards them slowly.

Wally wouldn’t be able to pick Garth up and get them both out, not in this condition. This was Wally’s fault, if he hadn’t pointed out Schott, they wouldn’t have fallen into the trap. If he hadn’t said what he said to Torchie, he would probably be able to be down here to help them get out. Wally used the last of his strength to pull himself over Garth as Savage raised his sword, shielding him from whatever was to come, and braced himself for pain.

It never came. Instead the sound of metal hitting metal made Wally look over.

Torchie was standing in front of them, construct sword in hand blocking the sword from hitting them. Savage looked amused.

“A volunteer” he said, winding back to strike at Torchie again.

As they fought, Wally could tell that Savage wasn’t even trying. He was a master swordsmen, he could take out Torchie in a sword fight in a second. And even if Torchie was advanced, Wally could see that he wasn’t doing too well. He was breathing heavily and staggering around, posture closed off.

But he was trying to protect them.

Wally had to get them out of this. There had to be something he could do, Torchie wouldn’t last much longer and Garth was hurt. He had to do something, he-

“Ring Battery Approaching 0%”.

Wally jumped when he heard it. He had never heard a Green Lantern ring talk before. But-

“No” Torchie cried out. Wally could see the construct wavering.

“Power Levels 0%”

“No!” Torchie yelled, and his construct sword disappeared. 

Wally tried to get up as Torchie’s uniform disappeared, leaving him in sweatpants and a shirt, but the pain in his leg was so bad Wally almost threw up and was forced to get back down. He forced himself to keep his eyes on Torchie, remembering how he had begged to not be alone when he was having his panic attack. Wally couldn’t see his face because his back was to them so Torchie couldn’t see him either, but Wally hoped Torchie knew he wasn’t alone.

Torchie staggered back, barely raising his hand in time as Savage swung, getting him across the face.

“No!” Wally cried out, trying to get to him, to help, but his leg gave out underneath him again and he fell to the floor.

Torchie curled in on himself, his right hand over his face and his left over his right. He screamed in agony, a sound that ripped through Wally, and Wally felt useless. Savage kicked Torchie hard, the force knocking him onto his back. He withered on the ground, still screaming in pain like something was still wrong-

Torchie wailed when the sword stabbed him, right through his stomach on his left side. Wally cried out, trying to get up again, but he couldn’t. Just trying almost made him black out, but he had to try dammit! He couldn’t let someone else-

“That’s enough for now” Wally heard Savage say as he tried to blink stars out of his eyes. “We know the sword does what it’s supposed to”.

Wally didn’t know how long he sat there on his hands and knees trying to get himself together, but when he could look up again, Savage and Psimon were gone. Wally forced himself to crawl over to Torchie, wanting to throw up the whole way. Everything hurt, his head was pounding, but he had to keep going. He couldn’t let Torchie bleed out.

He made it to Torchie, who was still screaming for some reason, and tried not to look at his face. Torchie was gonna make it through this, and he wouldn’t want Wally of all people ever knowing his identity. And Wally was scared. Scared that Torchie was missing an eye or got a part of his nose cut off or-

He had to focus. The cut on his hand looked bad, but Wally concentrated on the stab wound. He put both hands on it-

The burning pain was so immense that Wally screamed, falling backwards and almost blacking out again from his other injuries. The burning in his hands didn’t go away, and Wally didn’t know why. He sobbed as he forced himself to look at his hands, and saw they were covered with Torchie’s blood.

Oh God, was this what Torchie was feeling? Fuck, fuck, fuck-

They needed help. Wally couldn’t do this, he needed help. What if Garth was dead over there? What is Torchie bled out?

Wally put his hand to his comm and jerked it back quickly when the part of his ear he accidentally touched started to burn. He did his best to curl into a ball but kept his hands away from him, so he didn’t spread the burning to another part of his body and sobbed. He forced his hand to his ear again.

“Flash to League! To anyone! Please!” he pleaded weakly. Everything hurt, and he just wanted to sleep. He wanted the pain to stop. “It hurts so bad, please. I don’t want them to die”.

This was all his fault. He was so obsessed with proving his worth that he just showed how worthless he really was. He couldn’t help Garth, he couldn’t protect Torchie and he was the one who led them here in the first place. Why did he always ruin everything? He would never live up to the mantle of the-

“Flash”! Wally jerked. Did he know that voice? Was someone finally answering his com? “Flash! Look at me”.

Wally didn’t remember closing his eyes, but he forced himself to open them and saw Robin. His Robin.

The 12 year old was looking down at him, eyebrows furrowed in concern. When they made eye contact he looked relieved.

“I found him!” Robin yelled back to someone.

“Bird?” Wally asked weakly and Robin tilted his head. Wally suddenly realized that it wasn’t Bird, it was the second Robin. Bird called him Little Wing affectionately. Little Wing looked over to Torchie, who was still screaming, and he turned back to whoever was coming.

“Is that Torchie screaming? Oh God” Connor came into view in full Green Arrow uniform, looking horrified. “Robin stay with Flash, Aqualad to Tempest, and Miss Martian and Jericho stay on standby”.

Connor knelt by Torchie and put both his hands-

“Don’t!” Wally cried weakly, but it was too late. Connor pulled his hands back with a wail of pain, curling in on himself.

“His blood! It burns” Little Wing cried out, looking between Wally’s hands and Connor. Connor uncurled himself, sobbing with the effort, and took off the orange part of the top of his uniform. He balled it up and pressed it to the stab wound.

Wally turned to Little Wing and realized that he was once again wrong. The kid was definitely a Robin, but not a Robin that he had knew. This was the newest Robin, the one he had only seen in passing. Like the Robins before him, the kid had black hair, but he was much paler than the tanned Robins that had come before him. His legs were also completely covered, and he even had knee pads on.

“You’re gonna be okay. Stay with me alright?” Robin said and Wally could only sob. His hands and ear burned, he was shaking in agony, his body pulse with pain, and his head-

“Miss Martian” Wally heard Connor sob out. “We gotta get them out of this hole”.

Wally didn’t hear what happened next. Maybe he blacked out? He wasn’t sure, but suddenly he was really cold and someone was slapping his face lightly. He saw Robin again, Joey a bit behind him looking concerned.

“Stay awake Flash” Robin said firmly. “You gotta stay awake”.

Wally could still hear Torchie screaming in the background. He tried to push himself up, he had to help, but Joey forced him back down. He looked so concerned, so sad, and Wally instantly wanted to do anything to fix that. He’s known Joey since he was small, and he hated the heavy expression he wore now.

“Robin to Batman,” Robin said. “We found them. All three are in varying states of consciousness. One has severe burns on his torso-”.

Wally let Robin’s voice fade into the background as he turned his head to the side with great effort. Garth was laying on the floor, his head in Jackson’s lap and his torso wrapped in some kind of fabric. Jackson was pouring water on him gently, his face, his torso-

Garth looked bad.

Torchie laid a couple feet away, his torso wrapped in what Wally realized was Robin’s cape, and Wally hoped it was steaming the blood flow of his stab wound. The orange fabric that had been a part of Connor’s costume was now wrapped around his injured hand, and M’gann was telepathically holding another cloth over his face. It concealed his identity and stemmed the bleeding to the face wound he probably had.

Wally had fucked up. This wouldn’t have happened if Wally hadn’t fucked up the other missions. He wouldn’t have been on standby, he wouldn’t have seen Schott, he wouldn’t have been tricked by Psimon, he wouldn’t have lured them into a trap-

“Flash, come on” Robin said, taking Wally’s face into his hands. “Talk to me”.

“Hurts” Wally forced out. His hands and ear were on fire, his body, his head, oh God his leg-

“I know. Help is coming, I promise” Robin said. “I just need you to stay up. You have a concussion”.

“My fault” Wally could barely get out. Joey popped in his field of vision, shaking his head frantically and looking more sad. He tried to sign something, but Wally couldn’t concentrate on it.

There was a big gust of air and Wally shivered. God it was cold. He wanted to be warm, he wanted to sleep he-

“Flash!” Auntie Diana appeared in his field of vision. “Stand back you two”.

Robin and Joey disappeared and Wally cried out as Auntie Diana lifted him up. It hurt to be moved in any way at all, black spots appeared in his vision, and when he blinked them out again he realized he was being taken to some kind of black jet thing. His head lolled to the side and he saw M’gann following behind Auntie Diana, levitating Torchie and Garth onto the plane.

Wally was laid on something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. It was really hard to stay awake right now, much less process too much, but then he heard a familiar voice and gravitated towards it.

“You’re okay, let me see”.

“He tried to stem the bleeding from Green Lantern’s stab wound, and we’re unsure if the burning is coming from Green Lantern’s blood or just making contact with him” Robin was saying. Wally needed- Wally had to-

“Uncle Ollie” Wally croaked out, his whole body shaking. He had to stay awake, Robin told him to stay awake.

“I’m here kid, you’re okay”. A hand slid through his hair, and Wally looked over to see Uncle Ollie now next to him, his other arm wrapped around Connor’s shoulders. Connor looked pale, leaning heavily on Uncle Ollie, and was shaking so bad. Wally felt bad that he wa staking Connor’s dad’s attention, but it hurt. It hurt and he needed his Uncle. “Stay awake for me, okay? Your Uncle wants to see you”.

He could- he could do that. He could stay awake to see- Uncle Barry? Uncle Hal? He didn’t know but he could stay awake.

He struggled, the pain so bad that just slipping into darkness looked so good- but they told him to stay awake so he would. He could do it.

And then he was moving. To where he didn’t know. There was a lot of commotion and a lot of people talking, but Wally couldn’t make out any of it. The voices sounded so familiar, but Wally kept drifting and even though everything was becoming fuzzy, the pain wouldn’t dull. He could see lights above him passing by fast, just like in the movies, and suddenly Uncle Barry appeared in his field of vision.

He looked scared.

“You’re gonna be okay Wally, just stay awake for me okay?” Uncle Barry told him. Wally wanted to nod, to tell him he would, but he was so tired. It hurt so bad, he couldn’t- it was too much.

“Sorry” Wally croaked, and he shut his eyes. He was so tired, he could finally sleep.

No matter how hard Wally worked, he would never be enough.

“Wally? Wally”!

Chapter Text

September 24th, -xxx1

“Oh fuck you guys” Wally said when KYLE entered with Kara and Donna. Kyle let them enter their rooms and close the doors before he let go of their constructs.

“Thanks Four!” Donna called out.

“We love you!” Kara added. Wally glared at him and Nightwing looked amused. They were both now wearing casual clothes, Nightwing in a hopefully new domino mask. Garth popped his head out of his room.

“Roy still not back?” Garth asked. Nightwing shook his head.

“Where’d he go?” Kyle asked.

“He’s on Titans West’s floor yelling at them” Wally huffed.

“Cool, I’m going down there” Kyle said, starting towards the elevator.

“Alright meet us in the meeting room when you finish” Nightwing called and Kyle threw him a thumbs up over his shoulder before entering the elevator.

“-ve to listen to them!” Kyle heard Roy say as he stepped out of the elevator on Titans West’s floor. All four of them were sitting on their couch and laughing at Roy, who was standing in front of them and yelling.

“I mean, you guys are always saying we should listen to our higher ups. And they are our higher ups” Connor pointed out, and the other three nodded. Roy looked like he was gonna rip his hair out and Kyle loved it.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Kyle, who wasn’t sorry in the slightest, said. “But I need my clothes back. That’s the only pair I brought here”.

“Oh yeah, sure,” Connor said, getting up. “I’ll be back, you guys better not take notes or anything”.

Roy kept ranting as Connor led Kyle to his room. He had the corner room on the very left, in the same place that Titans A’s guest room was. All their clothes were neatly folded in piles on his bed. Connor grabbed Kyle’s and handed it to him.

“Here” Connor said, and Kyle took it. “I don’t feel too bad because I knew you had your ring. You can change in our bathroom if you want”.

“Thanks. Good luck with Roy” Kyle said. Connor shrugged.

“I don’t need luck with him,” Connor said. “It’s Roy ”.

Each floor of Titans Tower that people lived on had two bathrooms, one for guys and one for girls. Kyle entered Titans West’s guys bathroom and got into one of the stalls to change. When he got out, Roy was gone.

“Joey says Roy went upstairs. They’re waiting for you” Jackson said as Joey signed.

“Thanks” Kyle said then paused. “Did Titans B actually tell you guys to do that”?

“Oh yeah, 100%. Though I wish we had thought of it ourselves”. They all laughed.

Kyle went up to the meeting room feeling lighter than usual. Everything had gone so well today with Titans A, he almost couldn’t believe it. He and Wally had friendly banter instead of fighting, everyone had actually wanted him to come in and join them, and seeing Donna in her un-

Wait no. No, he shouldn’t be thinking about that.

But- he actually felt like he belonged with them for once. Like he wasn’t just the Green Lantern nobody wanted, a memory of how good their life was and who they had lost. Kyle smiled, pulling his cap down over his face. Maybe this would all work out. Maybe all the fighting and animosity was over with. Maybe- maybe it was time for Kyle to finally share his identity with everyone?

Kyle walked into the meeting room to see Titans A huddled around the computer. He didn’t see Kara anywhere, and he was about to ask where she was when he saw what was on the monitor and his blood ran cold.

“What is that?” Kyle asked, stepping forward, his entire body tense even though he didn’t want it to be. He swallowed down anger, pain, guilt -

“It’s nothing, it’s fine,” Nightwing said quickly, sternly . “Don’t worry about it”.

Kyle respected Nightwing, so usually he would just let it be, but he couldn’t this time. Not when it was about Major Force.

“Let me see,” Kyle said, getting closer.

“It’s not a good idea” Garth said and Donna looked away when Kyle tried to meet her eyes. What -? “Really it-“!

“Let me see,” Kyle said more forcefully. No one moved a muscle, and Kyle was gonna say something else when Nightwing sighed. He moved away and the others followed.

“Four, this is my fault. Let’s talk about it” Nightwing said, but Kyle wasn’t listening to him anymore.

On the screen were several news reports of Major Force’s whereabouts from that day. And the week before, and the week before, and-

“He’s out,” Kyle said, feeling numb. “You guys said he was in prison. You guys said you checked”.

There had to be a good reason. Maybe there was a prison break and they didn’t know or- but the news reports showed that Major Force had been out for weeks .

“We lied” Nightwing said after a pause. Kyle’s heart sank, and he searched all of their eyes for just a chance that that wasn’t true, but all he got was guilty looks and averted eyes.

“Why?” Kyle asked, gripping the back of the chair in front of him. He felt so off balance.

“We needed you for the Toyman case,” Nightwing admitted. “The case was important to us, but it was selfish of us to-“.

“Major Force is important to me” was all Kyle could say. Silence, and then-

“We know”.

It was like a punch to the gut.

He tried to see it from their point of view. They needed to do well on this case if they wanted to get off of probation with the League. They were tired of being treated like kids when they had been doing this for years. It hurt, but Kyle didn’t need to fly off of the handle. He would just track down Major Force and take him down. He would make sure he was in prison and he wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

And after that he would distance himself from them. They would finish the case, and he wouldn’t have to interact with them as often. They clearly weren’t his friends. They didn’t care about him or his feelings, only that working with him was their ticket to getting what they wanted. They used him, and just like always he went along with it without even batting an eye. Because everyone was right about him, he was stupid and naive and-

“Why wasn’t I alerted about him? Why didn’t the League think to tell me about this” Kyle asked, feeling even stupider. Did the League know about this? But he was one of them, they had said so. God, did Guy know? Did John, Alan, Kara- were they lying to him too? They knew this was important to him-

“It would be the job of whoever was on the case to alert you,” Nightwing said. Kyle’s stomach hurt, but he waited. When no one said anything, he looked back up at the monitor, his hands shaking a bit.

“Whose case is it?” Kyle asked. When he still didn’t get an answer, he went through the database and pulled up the case.

Assigned to: Titans A.

“We told the League that we were notifying you about it,” Nightwing said.

“ Why ?” Kyle asked. Why was no one else speaking? Why would they- he tried to remind himself that they didn’t know about Alex, they didn’t know what happened to her and what happened to her wasn’t their fault. To them, Major Force was nothing, just some villain that had never appeared on their radar. They didn’t know that he decimated Kyle’s entire world in an instant.

“We didn’t want you to get distracted from the case” Nightwing told him and Kyle-

“It’s important to me,” Kyle said softly, feeling so betrayed.

He wasted so much time. If he had known, he would’ve taken Major Force in by now, gotten Alex the justice she deserved. But instead he spent the day fucking skinny dipping and playing chicken with Titans A. God he was so st-

Someone might’ve said something, but Kyle didn’t hear it, his attention catching the most devastating sentence he had ever seen in his life.

Date Case Assigned: May 18th, -xxx1

Alex died in August.

“Four-“ Nightwing said, a hand on Kyle’s shoulder, but Kyle turned around and shoved him. Kyle must’ve caught him by surprise because Nightwing staggered back a bit. They were all looking at Kyle in surprise, but Kyle didn’t care .

He hasn’t felt this amount of rage since the day Alex died.

“You could’ve done something,” Kyle yelled. “You could’ve stopped him! But because you’re so selfish, so entitled , you stood by and did nothing”!

“Hey, first of all, don’t put your hands on my friend!” Wally said angrily, getting in between Kyle and the rest of the Titans. “Second of all-“!

“ No , you had your time to talk, and you decided to keep quiet you coward ” Kyle snapped, feeling so out of control. “The League was right, you aren’t ready. You want to be treated like adults so badly and have responsibility, yet you can’t even complete a case because you think it’s beneath you? People died ”!

He remembered her smile and his eyes stung.

“You’re overreacting,” Wally said, and Kyle couldn’t stop shaking. “Major Force hasn’t done anything since he was last in jail. He’s not a high priority, or the League would’ve done something about him by now. Hell, they wouldn’t have even let us take his case in the first place! So calm down”!

“Wally” Nightwing said sternly, grabbing his friend by the shoulder.

Kyle looked at the other Titans and saw that they were looking at him weirdly. They weren’t afraid of him, no but they- they were on guard, watching him wearily and ready to fight. It was like they thought he could blow up at any second, that he was gonna snap -

“This isn’t another Parallax situation so don’t treat it like that” Kyle said angrily, and Wally glared at him. “People are allowed to express their feelings, and just because you can’t empathize with me doesn’t mean I’m overreacting. Maybe if you empathized with Hal he-“

“ Don’t you dare talk about him ” Wally yelled, shoving Kyle back hard enough that Kyle hit the console behind him. “You don’t know anything about him! You’re not better than us! You think you’re Green Lantern? You think you’ll ever live up to that name? You’ll never be even a quarter of the man Uncle Hal was”!

“ Wally ” Donna snapped, and Kyle felt bitter that this was the first time she spoke up.

“ No , I'm tired of his attitude! He's here whining because he doesn’t get to play hero with some low priority villain. And he throws around my pain like it’s nothing ? How can you begin to understand what we’ve been through! What we’re still going through? I lost my uncle, and now all that I'm left with is you , you’re what’s left of his legacy and you're ruining it ! What do you know about loss”? Wally hissed, getting in Kyle’s face. Kyle powered on his ring, his costume materializing around him.

“Major Force killed my girlfriend,” Kyle said before he could stop himself. He should’ve stopped speaking there, he meant to, but it was like he was possessed. “She died in August, and if you guys had actually done your job and finished the case when you got it, she would still be there. Don’t pretend you know me, don’t pretend you know my pain and what I’ve been through. I’m sick of hearing what you’ve been through”.

Everyone was silent, staring at Kyle in horror, but he didn’t care. Not anymore.

“Hey guys sorry I’m late I- what happened” Kara asked as she entered, Connor right behind her. “Guys”?

No one said anything, no one moved, and Kara looked worried. She opened her mouth to say something, but something caught her eye behind Kyle.

“Major Force is fighting Warrior in Baltimore!” Kara said and Kyle whirled around quickly. It was true, they were throwing cars at each other on a bridge.

Guy - he couldn’t let Guy end up like Alex. He couldn’t lose someone he cared about, not again.

“Titans, suit up” Nightwing said. “We-“!

“ No ” Kyle said and they all turned to him in surprise.

“Four” Donna said, and he refused to look at her. “Four, let us help you”.

“Too late for that” Kyle told her. “You had your chance to help, and you did the opposite”.

“It’s our case, let us help,” Garth said. Without even thinking about it, Kyle turned around to where the case was still on the main monitor and punched in his code.

“Not anymore” Kyle said, not assigning anyone else to the case. He doesn't need to, it would be closed today or Kyle would be dead and it wouldn’t matter. He went to leave but Donna grabbed his arm.

“Four-“!

“Let go, Donna,” Kyle said. He still couldn’t look at her. She had Amazonian strength, if she wanted to he would never be able to leave.

“ Please -“.

“Let. Go ” Kyle said, his voice taking on a dangerous tone he wasn’t used to hearing.

She let go and Kyle didn’t even wait for the elevator, flying up the stairs to the roof access. They unfortunately followed, but he didn’t look back as he flew to Baltimore, hoping he wasn’t too late this time.

-

December 28th, -xxx1

It was quiet. WALLY didn’t know why that made him so uneasy but it did.

The warmth felt good though, even though his body ached and his head felt fragile. What had happened to him? He couldn’t remember anything and it really hurt to try. But he felt so warm, and someone was running their thumb over his knuckles in a way that was so soothing that he really just wanted to go back to sleep.

“-n’t even let us help,” a familiar voice said. Sounded frustrated. There was a sympathetic hum.

“You couldn't have made it any better. It’s not your fault” another super familiar voice said. Who was that? He knew that voice.

“I don’t know, maybe we could’ve” the first voice said before sighing. “We just wanted to help, Uncle Barry”.

Uncle Bar - the rain water collection system. They were chasing Schott and then Psimon and Savage- Garth and Torchie-!

Wally sat up quickly and looked around frantically for them. Were they okay? He couldn’t hear Torchie screaming! What if they had d -

“Woah! You’re okay Wally, you’re safe” Uncle Barry said, appearing in Wally’s field of vision with a soft smile. Wally shook his head.

“Not me- where’s Garth and Torchie?” Wally asked as Uncle Barry tried to push him back down.

He knows he wasn’t the mission leader, but everything that happened was his fault. He had started the argument, he was the one who had them go after Schott-

He was attacked by his own memories. Some of them were from the mission, Garth laying on the ground, Torchie bleeding out while he screamed in agony- but others were from Wally’s life. Tara’s funeral, Uncle Barry “dieing”, seeing Uncle Hal as Parallax for the first time, his parents -

“Wally,” Bird said, appearing in Wally’s field of vision, his voice like a lighthouse guiding him to shore and keeping him from drowning in the horrible memories. “They’re okay! Everyone is okay”.

Wally let himself be pushed down onto the bed. If Bird said everyone was okay- well he wouldn’t lie about something like that, and if he did Uncle Barry would’ve told Wally. If Wally was in a room in the Hall of Justice’s medical wing, then so were Garth and Torchie.

“Injury report? For the three of us?” Wally asked anyway. He needed to know.

“You have a concussion, broken ribs, a couple of scrapes and bruises, and a leg broken in several places, but most of that is healed already because of your accelerated healing. Garth has some scrapes and bruises and some burns on his torso” Bird rattled off. “Torchie has a cut on his face and hand, a stab wound on his left side, and some scrapes and bruises. Neither cuts or the stab wound will cause lasting damage thankfully”.

Wally thought he would feel relieved after hearing the report, but instead he felt worse .

“What about the burning?” Wally asked, remembering the horrible, horrible , pain in his hands. He lifted his hands to his face carefully but was shocked to see that his hands weren’t covered in bandages. There were no marks of any kind on his hands, and he refused to believe his fast healing got rid of something that caused so much pain so fast.

“The sword” Uncle Barry said, gently grabbing both of Wally’s hands and putting them down on the bed on either side of Wally. “It had magical properties. It was supposed to make your blood feel like it’s burning when the sword makes contact with it. When you and Connor got Torchie’s blood on your hands, you felt the burning where the blood made contact with you”.

Did Torchie only feel that on his face, hands, and torso? Or did his blood being on the inside of his body mean he felt that pain all over?

“Zee and Constantine came by to fix it” Bird continued, looking at Wally in concern. “It’s how we know what the sword did. They reversed it on Torchie first, John, Guy, Hal, and Simon getting infected by Torchie’s blood in the process. But when Zee and Constantine finished with Torchie they helped the rest of you too. It only makes the blood feel like it’s burning though, no one was actually burned by that thankfully”.

“But it hurt so bad” Wally said without meaning to. Everything was hazy and hard to process. He blinked hard to try and get himself to focus.

“It was made to target Kryptonians, Wally. Of course it’s gonna hurt worse” Bird said gently. Savage had asked about Kara. That had been meant for Kara-

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault” Wally said miserably. “If I hadn’t-“!

“Hey, hey, it’s not anyone’s fault” Uncle Barry said quickly, running a hand through Wally’s hair. “None of us could have seen this coming. Especially with Psimon’s involvement”.

“Please let me explain. I need to explain” Wally begged and Uncle Barry shook his head.

“You can, but not right now. Just rest for now. No one blames you, none of this was your fault” Uncle Barry said gently but sternly. Wally went to protest, he needed Uncle Barry to know-

“Wally”. Wally looked over at Bird, who wore a gentle smile. “No one is mad at you. I promise”.

Wally nodded, feeling so tired and defeated. Okay. Yeah, okay.

“How long have I been out? And where’s everyone” Wally asked softly.

“Over 24 hours, it's the 28th now. Garth woke up a couple of hours ago and Torchie was still out the last time I checked” Bird explained, and Wally forced himself not to react. Over 24 hours? “The League minus Uncle Arthur, Uncle Barry, and Hal are meeting about something they won’t tell us about of course. Donna is with Uncle Arthur and Garth, the Lanterns and Kara are with Torchie, all of Titans West besides Connor are back at the tower, and Roy’s over there”.

Wally sat up to see where Bird was pointing and was surprised to see Roy asleep in a makeshift bed of chairs on the other side of the room.

“He refused to sleep all night watching over you and Garth,” Bird said. Then he hesitated. “He feels guilty about what happened too”.

But- Roy shouldn’t feel guilty. There was no way he could’ve known this would happen, no way he could’ve helped.

“When you guys came in- it wasn’t pretty” Uncle Barry said, his eyes far away. “I’ve never seen Garth look so pale, and there was so much blood on Torchie and his screaming - And you . I really thought I was gonna lose you, you were so out of it. And then Connor started screaming- it shook up a lot of us”.

“We’ve done this for so long, seen some pretty bad stuff happen to people- you think we’d be used to it by now. But it’s different when you see it happen to people you care about, and all you can do is wait ” Bird said sadly and Wally’s stomach started to hurt . He opened his mouth but Bird gave him a stern look before snapping. “ Don’t say sorry. It’s not your fault”.

Wally shut his mouth and Bird looked shocked before his expression morphed into guilt. Bird didn’t tend to just- do that.

“Why don’t we go see Garth and Donna” Uncle Barry suggested, breaking the awkward silence. “They‘ve been asking about you. We can wake up Roy and he can come with us”.

Wally nodded firmly. Seeing that Garth was okay- that would take some of the guilt. Hopefully.

Uncle Barry helped him transfer into a wheelchair. Wally was mostly healed, but Uncle Barry had insisted that he use the wheelchair so that he didn’t strain himself and made sure he was fully healed. Wally didn’t mind it really, he was so tired he’d rather not walk at the moment. And his leg was a bit sore still, and he didn’t want to think about it, and the pain it caused, and the metal sticking out of-

“Wally! You’re awake!” Roy said, now sitting up in his bed made of chairs. He almost tripped over himself trying to get up, and he kneeled in front of Wally with a look of such pure relief on his face that Wally wanted to cry. But he didn’t, he didn’t want to worry anyone more than he already had.

“Hey Roy, I’m s- I’m glad you’re here” Wally said instead, not looking at Bird. He would have time to apologize for fucking up. For now he would trust Bird when he said that it wasn’t his fault and that no one thought it was. Trusting Bird was easy for him, he’s been doing it for years.

He would ignore how uneasy he felt about it now.

Roy squeezed his hand with a genuine smile and offered to push his wheelchair, which Wally gladly accepted. But maybe he shouldn’t have because Roy almost immediately ran him into a wall on the way out.

“Sorry! Last time I promise”!

Garth’s room was not next to Wally’s, and they actually had to walk to the other side of the hall to get to it since Garth needed a room with a tank. On their way, they passed a room with the door open, and Wally forced Roy to stop when he saw inside.

All the Earth Lanterns and Kara were in there. Kara was playing a card game on the ground with Jess and Simon, and in the back right corner Uncle Hal was talking with John in hushed tones. In the back left corner was a bed with the curtains drawn, hiding it from everyone in the room. Next to the bed, Guy sat in a chair, holding a hand that was extended from the bed.

“Wally, Torchie is still asleep-” Uncle Barry started quietly but Wally shook his head.

“I know. But I need to talk to Uncle Hal. It’s important” Wally told him. Uncle Barry looked confused, but it wasn’t something Wally could explain to them.

Wally had revealed that Torchie had been possessed by Parallax to Garth. He had used it against Torchie as a way to hurt him. He didn’t mean to, he really didn’t mean to, but he needed to tell Uncle Hal. Uncle Hal had trusted Wally and Roy with that information, and Wally had betrayed his trust and hurt Torchie in the process. Parallax- it was a whole thing. Wally had seen Uncle Hal after what the aftermath of it did to him for a while. Uncle Hal was gonna be so pissed at him- no worse. He was going to be disappointed.

But Wally needed to tell him.

“Uncle Hal” Wally hissed a bit louder than he had been speaking before, but hopefully not loud enough to wake up Torchie. Uncle Hal looked over in surprise but quickly made his way over with a grin.

“Hey, you’re up” Uncle Hal said quietly when he was close enough, kneeling on the other side of the wheelchair. He looked relieved to see Wally, which made Wally feel worse . “How are you feeling”?

“That doesn’t matter,” Wally said quickly. “Uncle Hal, I’m so sorry”.

“Sorry? You don’t have to be sorry to anyone, much less me” Uncle Hal said, confused. “You didn’t do anything wrong”.

“What happened wasn’t your fault Wally, we already told you” Uncle Barry reminded him gently, Bird and Roy nodding firmly over Uncle Barry’s shoulder.

“No, I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about-” Wally paused. How could he let Uncle Hal know what happened without letting everyone else know? He should’ve asked to talk in private, but that would’ve made everyone suspicious. Doing it now would also make everyone suspicious, and he couldn’t just say it and tell more people about what happened.

And saying the word Parallax? No.

“I- just remember that I’m so sorry and I didn’t mean it,” Wally said, lowering his head in defeat. A warm hand gripped his and gave it a firm squeeze.

“I’ll remember. And whatever it is, it’s gonna be okay” Uncle Hal said and Wally nodded, not able to look at him.

Would he lose Uncle Hal again?

They let Uncle Hal get back to his conversation, Uncle Barry saying that they could all talk when Torchie was awake. Garth’s room wasn’t too far from Torchie’s, and Roy once again almost rammed Wally into a wall.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be driving,” Roy said.

“Ya think?” Bird asked sarcastically.

There was an unoccupied bed in the back right corner, and in the back left corner was an in ground tank. It was as big as a full size mattress and just deep enough for someone to be fully submerged in it when lying down. Garth was sitting in it, leaning back so that the water covered him from his collarbones to his feet, but his head was out of the water. Uncle Arthur sat near his head and Donna near his waist.

Wally was surprised to see Mera there as well, sitting next to Uncle Arthur.

“Wally! You’re awake!” Garth exclaimed with a smile when he saw him. “How are you feeling”?

“Alright I guess. Tired” Wally said after a second of hesitation. Garth searched his eyes in confusion and before he got a look of realization on his face. Wally winced, ready for someone to finally lay into him for his stupidity.

“Torchie still out?” Garth asked and Wally blinked as he was stopped next to Donna, who smiled up at him and put a gentle hand on his knee.

“Yeah. Between the pain and all the blood he lost, his body’s been through the wringer. I’m exhausted just thinking about it” Bird said as he took a seat on Donna’s other side. Roy sat next to Bird.

“Why don’t we leave the five of them alone for a bit Barry” Uncle Arthur suggested. Uncle Barry looked startled, but he nodded.

“Yeah, let's join the meeting” Barry said as both Uncle Arthur and Mera stood up. “Let us know if you guys need anything”.

After they left, Bird took a deep breath.

“I’m glad you guys are okay,” Bird said and Wally nodded.

“What happens now?” Garth asked. Bird was quiet for way longer than Wally would have liked.

“I don’t know” Bird said honestly after a while and Wally frowned.

Wally knew there was no way the League was gonna let them do anything for a while. Gosh he really screwed up everything. How were they gonna get out of this? He missed when everything was normal, where they could just patrol together and train without having to worry about proving themselves. He missed not feeling like the League was their enemy, missed feeling like the League wanted them to succeed instead of setting them up to fail. He missed when he didn’t make so many mistakes.

But now they lived in the aftermath of their lives shattering, and they were scrambling to put the pieces back together. Wally would never live up to the Flash mantle, Bird was acting weird, Uncle Hal had been through hell, Titans A would forever be treated like small children- he could hear Torchie’s screams, feel the pain on his hands and ear, see Garth on the floor- he remembered seeing the empty drive, having to pull the drive out in Atlanta, Bird’s anger after what happened in Miami, those kids dying in Dallas, Torchie showing up at the last Green lantern, Uncle Hal coming back as Parallax, Uncle Barry dying, Wally’s parents and what they-

“Wally?” Wally shook his head, trying to force the bad memories out of his head and looked over at Garth. “You okay? You’ve been quiet for a while”.

He wanted to say yes, that he was fine. He didn’t want to worry them further, but-

“No. Something's wrong” Wally admitted, his eyes burning. Garth sat up quickly, wincing as he did, and the others were quick to get closer to him. Wally was falling apart and he needed his friends. “My worst memories keep replaying in my head. Not from what just happened but from like, my whole life, and it won’t stop ”.

He felt so desperate, like a small child, but this horrible feeling of dread just wouldn’t go away. What was wrong with him?

There was a knock at the door and they all turned as it opened to see Uncle Barry, his face looking grim.

“Torchie’s awake. The League wants to talk to the seven of you”.

-

KYLE was confused for a moment as he stared at the ceiling.

There was something on part of his right cheek and the left side of his forehead that was kind of itchy, but he didn’t really wanna move to check it out. He was so exhausted, he could feel it in his bones. He was going to go back to sleep when he remembered.

Oh fuck .

He could tell he was in a room in the Hall of Justice’s infirmary since he had been there before. He remembered hot, horrible, unbearable pain all over his body. He remembered the panic attack, reliving what Sinestro and Parallax had done to him during the war, what Sinestro had done to him on Qward, what Major Force had done to Alex-

He started to take inventory of his injuries, anything to keep his mind off of that . First he tried to flex his right hand and was barely able to hold back a cry of pain. He could feel the bandages on his hand and decided maybe it was a bad idea to try to move it or use it right now, so he shoved passed the anxious thoughts on if it would affect his ability to draw and moved on to his torso. His left side hurt from where he was stabbed, but it didn’t feel too bad right now. Kyle didn’t know if he was just on pain meds or if it was because he hadn’t used any muscles near that area yet.

His head and throat hurt, but the soft noises he heard from outside the safety of the curtains around him didn’t bother him much. He honestly was just happy that the agonizing pain was gone, leaving a dull ache all over his body.

He had been so sure it would kill him.

It was stupid, but he didn’t want to get up and have to face what had happened. He was so ashamed of himself, having a panic attack during a mission and letting his teammates get hurt. He knew the other Lanterns reassured him that it happened and it didn’t make him any less than, but dammit he worked so hard to prove that he was strong, that he was worthy of the ring. Maybe Wally had been right. He really would never measure up to any of the real Lantern’s, especially Hal. He was just lucky. He just happened to get the ring and just happened to get the Corps back on its feet-

No . No, Kyle worked hard to get to where he was. The war sucked, what happened in New York sucked, but Kyle would get through it. Parallax wasn’t going to win. Not again.

Kyle still hated how off he felt, and that he couldn’t shake it. He flexed his other hand and realized he was grasping something warm.

“Torchie”? All of the outside noise stopped. Kyle took a deep breath before responding.

“Hi Guy”. He hated how much his throat hurt and how raspy he sounded, it reminded him of how it felt after Parallax. He did not shudder.

“Welcome back sleeping beauty” Guy laughed. “I bet you’d be asleep for at least four more hours though, so thanks for nothing”.

Kyle snorted weakly and Guy let go of his hand, putting something in it. Kyle retracted his hand carefully and saw that it was a Martian Manhunter themed hat, green with his symbol in the middle.

“We thought it was a Green Lantern one. Because it was green. And we don’t wanna go and fix it so. Oops?” Kyle heard Simon say.

He honestly didn’t want to wear a hat right now, especially not with his face bandaged, but he put it on anyway and pulled it down low. With a lot of effort, and a bit of pain, he sat up on the bed and leaned his back against the wall before pulling back the curtains. He could’ve just shown his face to them at this point but- he didn’t want- he couldn’t- he felt-

“Hey” Hal greeted with a smile from where he stood near Kyle’s bed. “How do you feel”?

He didn’t trust them. Not anymore.

“You told Wally” was all Kyle could say. It had been in the back of his mind, haunting him, since Wally had said it. A horrible feeling had settled in his chest since then, and nothing Kyle would do could shake it.

“CC told me” Wally had said, a look of hatred burning in his eyes. “What? Did you think you were so important that this wouldn’t get around? That he cared enough to-“!

It reminded Kyle of what happened between him and the Titans. He once again had stupidly put his trust in someone, and it once again came back to bite him. How many people did Hal tell? Barry and Oliver had to know, maybe Dinah and Iris too. Is that why Hal invited him to Thanksgiving and Christmas? So they could see what they were talking about?

Hal Jordan can’t save you. Why would he? You were the one who replaced him.

Parallax had said that to him. Kyle shoved the memory away.

Hal stared at him for a minute, and Kyle was gonna continue when he realized that there weren’t only Lanterns in the room.

The others had gathered around Kyle’s bed, not too close to overcrowd him, but close enough for a conversation. Kara stood among them, right in between Simon and Jess. Kyle could see the relief in their eyes, and that made him feel a bit warmer. He was also surprised that it made it a little bit easier to breathe.

“What did I tell Wa- oh. Oh ” Hal said, looking towards the door of the room with wide eyes. “Kara, do you mind if we have a Lantern meeting”?

“Yeah sure,” Kara said. She shot Kyle a reassuring smile, but Kyle could see the confusion in her eyes and felt bad. But he couldn’t tell her about Parallax, especially not right now when he didn’t know who knew and he was feeling so stupid and uncertain. She closed the door behind her when she left.

“What’s going on?” John asked carefully as Guy sat up, looking between Kyle and Hal with a suspicious look on his face. “What did you do Hal”?

“I told Wally and Roy about Torchie and Parallax,” Hal explained, before turning back to Kyle with sincere eyes. “I’m so sorry Torchie”.

Wally and Roy? Roy knew too? Kyle was going to be sick.

“Why would you do that?” Guy asked, looking outraged. Kyle had assumed they all knew already, but they all looked shocked and even kind of mad . They were mad for him.

“It just came out,” Hal explained, rubbing a hand over his face. “It was the day we got back, I was tired I guess? I don’t know. I’m sorry Torchie, I just- they won’t say anything to anyone-“!

“Wally did” Kyle cut in miserably with a cough. “Said it right in front of Garth”.

“ Fuck ” Hal hissed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I didn’t think he- I’m sorry kid. I shouldn’t have said it. Garth won’t-“.

“It doesn’t matter what Garth will or won’t do, it matters that you told someone” Guy said bitterly. “That wasn’t your story to tell”!

Kyle didn’t feel good, but he couldn’t figure out why.

“Okay, stop,” John said. Guy rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair while Hal exhaled loudly. “Hal, why don’t you join the League meeting”?

“What? I- you know what yeah. Not a bad idea” Hal said, after he and John shared a look. “Can we talk about this later Kyle”?

Kyle nodded even though he didn’t want Hal to leave. He wasn’t mad, more hurt and confused then anything, but- okay maybe he was a bit mad at himself. He reminded himself that Hal had done a lot for him, that Hal had suffered at Parallax’s hands worse than he had, but- did it have to be Wally and Roy? Kyle watched Hal leave feeling guilty about the whole thing.

“What did Wally say?” Simon asked, dragging a chair closer. Kyle hesitated.

“He just- he got so angry with me in a way he hasn’t been in a while and wouldn’t get back in position. I pointed out he wasn’t doing anything and he said in front of Garth that it was like me in the war because I was too busy hosting Parallax and helping the other side”.

It had caught Kyle so off guard when he heard it, he swore his heart stopped beating. And then he remembered all the times Wally had said shit like that to him before and he had gotten so angry until Wally had told him that Hal had told him-

“I’ll talk to Garth,” John said seriously. “That information won’t get any farther than it already has”.

“This sucks. Sorry Torchie” Simon said, sounding frustrated. “But don’t listen to him alright? He wasn’t there, he doesn’t know”.

Kyle nodded but-

“You guys didn’t know?” Kyle asked, still bothered by that fact. They all looked at him confused.

“No, if we did we would’ve told you” Guy said firmly. Kyle nodded, feeling a little better. They were mad about it, mad for him, and it made him feel better to know they had his back.

“How are you feeling?” Jess asked. “Mentally”.

“I- I don't know. I feel off. Like, not right” Kyle admitted hesitantly. “My worst memories keep cycling through my mind”.

John and Guy gave each other a look and Kyle just wished these people would communicate for everyone to hear, because this was getting annoying.

“We should mention this at the debrief” John said and Kyle shook his head.

“No we don’t need to I- I just” Kyle sighed. “I had a panic attack on the mission. It has to be from that. I don't need counseling or anything. Nightwing doesn’t need to be concerned about my mental state or whatever”.

He didn’t want to be taken off of the field, and he didn’t want to admit to the others on the team that he had a panic attack on the mission. God, he hoped Wally and Garth didn’t say anything about it. This was the second time he’s done this in front of Wally.

“Torchie he didn’t mean it like that” Guy said, eyebrow raised. “Psimon was there, and he was messing with your minds. J’onn might need to go in and undo whatever Psimon did”.

“Psimon could’ve triggered the panic attack” Simon said, eyes widening in realization. “That’s fucked up”.

“He pulled memories of what happened with Sinestro and Parallax- and with Major force” Kyle said, feeling horrified as he locked eyes with Guy, the only person in the room who knew about Alex. “It happened so subtly”.

It started with the stupid cold feeling even though Kyle knew he shouldn’t have been cold. Well, colder than his new normal. And then the memories came trickling in and he couldn’t stop it, and then he felt like he was dying and everything was horrible .

“Any headaches before? Did you feel weird?” John asked and Kyle shook his head. “Then he knew what he was looking for. If he was digging around you would’ve felt something. Definitely needs to be mentioned at the League debrief for this case. You don’t have to, but I would strongly recommend it”.

“League debrief for this case?” Kyle asked, ignoring that Psimon knew what he was looking for. Someone told him about these things. “The Titans were gonna have one”.

“I know but- the League is spooked again” John sighed. “They’ve been debating what they are gonna do about all of this for hours”

Kyle felt bad for Titans A. He hoped this wouldn’t set them back.

“Can I sit Torchie” Jess asked, gesturing to a spot on the bed next to Kyle.

Kyle nodded and she climbed up and sat on his right side, her back also against the wall. She slowly wrapped an arm around his shoulders, being careful and giving him plenty of time to say no if he wanted to. When her arm was wrapped around shoulders, he carefully let himself lean on her, and she hugged him a bit tighter. Simon sat on his other side, letting their legs touch. Having them on either side felt grounding, a reminder that he wasn’t alone. Hal had promised he wouldn’t be alone again, and even though he wasn’t physically here right now, his promise was being kept.

They were all here when he woke up. Kara was here when he woke up. He wasn’t alone.

He didn’t fall asleep, but he let himself relax, hearing them talk about something but not really listening. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but he was startled by a hand on his knee.

“Sorry, was checking you were awake” Guy said, looking serious. “It’s time for the debrief if you’re ready”.

Kyle nodded. Better get it over with now. And if J’onn can help him with whatever is happening with his brain, he wants it as soon as possible.

Kara was now in the room and, along with Guy, helped Kyle stand up. It was painful, and Kyle couldn’t help but cry out this time. They carefully lowered him into a wheelchair and he took deep breaths as he gripped the arms rests of the wheelchair.

“Where are the painkillers?” he heard someone ask.

“I’ll get him something to eat real quick” someone else said.

After he was forced to scarf something down and he took the meds, hoping they would kick in soon, Guy pushed his wheelchair out of the room and into the hall. He was only in a hospital gown, but luckily Jess had given him a blanket to put around his shoulders and over his lap.

In the main meeting room, all of the Justice League members were sitting in their spots at the table. Surprisingly, Connor and Robin were there too, standing next to their respective mentors. Titans A were all standing in a line in front of the table, except for Wally and Garth who were also in wheelchairs. Everyone turned to look at them when they entered, but Titans A were all looking at Kyle in relief.

He was relieved that everyone seemed to be alright too.

He didn’t remember much of what happened after they entered the rainwater collection system, but seeing Garth unconscious on the floor and how bad Wally looked- it didn’t look great. But even though he didn’t do too well in helping them out, everyone was safe.

Kyle and Kara joined their line, and the other Lanterns went to stand around Hal who was in the Lantern seat. Guy however sat on the floor next to Kyle, looking very bored. He glanced up once at Kyle with a look that said “can you believe this bullshit”?

“I would like to start with that we are all glad everyone’s all right, and the only reason we are having this debrief at all instead of letting you all recover fully is that we want to keep something like this from happening to you or anyone again. And to do that, we need your side of the story to catch whoever did this” Superman said, looking at them with genuine concern. “We’ll get through this as fast as we can, but if any of you need more time we can do that too”.

Superman was so cool.

“There were three teams in this incident, meaning three perspectives” Diana continued. “There’s the field team led by Nightwing, the standby team led by Garth, and the main rescue team led by Connor. Would the field team like to start”?

Nightwing took a step forward and recounted what happened to them. He told them about the last minute switch, how he went to get information from Schott’s computer himself, but when he finished none of them had responded. He and Kara went looking for them but didn’t find them, so he had to call the League.

Kyle felt bad. He knew calling the League was the last thing Nightwing wanted to do.

“Rescue team, your perspective” Diana asked. Kyle was surprised that his team wasn’t next, since chronologically what happened next happened to them.

“We got the all call over comms. Not sure if you guys meant to ping us but we went anyway. We were looking around New York and decided to use M’gann’s telepathy, but instead of feeling who we were looking for she felt something- she described it as something off, so we followed it and found the rainwater collection system. M’gann said that Psimon’s power was super strong all around the area, so we figured that’s where the three of them were, but the area was so surrounded in Psimon’s power that we couldn’t really tell what was real and what wasn’t. And I thought that we should find another way to get in without being detected if someone like Psimon was there, so we contacted Robin using M’gann’s telepathy” Connor explained.

“How did you know he was in the area?” Batman asked, cutting Connor off. Connor looked surprised.

“I saw that he was also pinged in the all call” Connor explained. “I thought he could get us a schematic of the system so we could get in through a different entrance. We could’ve looked around, but M’gann had to use a lot of her power to undo Psimon’s enough without him noticing for us to see what was really there. Joey even had to help too, which I know he’s not supposed to use his psychic abilities out on the field, but it was a life and death scenario. But we’ve worked with Robin before, just not th-”.

“Continue your explanation. I apologize for my previous interruption” Batman said, interrupting Connor again, but Connor didn’t seem mad about it. He nodded sadly.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have- anyways! Robin joined and got us the schematics, we planned an entrance and M’gann did her thing. Joey had to help which is why he had a nosebleed when we came back. We got in and followed the screaming, and that's where we found them. They were in an underground cavern, but I think there was some kind of explosion” Connor continued and Kyle looked down at his hands. He knew he was the one screaming, but it had hurt so bad, he couldn’t stop . His body felt like it was boiling from the inside out and it just kept getting worse. “We waited until Savage and Psimon were gone before moving in. I went to stem the blood flow on Torchie’s stab wound but then I got infected with the magic curse thing, so I wasn’t really coherent for the rest of what happened, so Robin will have to end it. But I did confirm with Robin and my team that none of us saw your face Torchie. Of course if the injury to your face was worse and you were bleeding more we would’ve had to look, but none of my team saw your face”.

Kyle had looked up the first time Connor said his name, and he could see how anxious Connor was when he said that last part, like he really wanted Kyle to know it. Kyle tried to smile at him.

“Thank you” he rasped and then winced at how bad his voice sounded. It wasn’t even this bad after Parallax.

“We used M’gann’s telekinesis to get them out, she's the real mvp here” Robin continued. “When we were safe, I contacted the League while we administered first aid to the four of them, and then Batman, Green Arrow, and Wonder Woman came to get us”.

“Standby team, your perspective” Diana said, and everyone turned to look at Garth. Instead of addressing the League, Garth turned to Wally.

“You take this” Garth said, not unkindly. Wally looked surprised and nodded.

“We were keeping lookout on a nearby rooftop and I suddenly started remembering not so great memories and I got mad- like, unreasonable mad” Wally said, not really looking at anyone. “I left my position and- I said somethings that I didn’t mean, somethings that I shouldn’t have- but the point is it created some tension between team members”.

Kyle was suddenly very uncomfortable.

“What did you say?” Diana asked, looking concerned. Kyle wanted to throw up while Wally looked caught off guard. Oh, Wally was going to tell everyone-

“We don’t have to-” Hal started but was cut off by Garth.

“It was something against me, but I'd rather keep that private thank you” Garth said, and Diana nodded apologetically. Kyle knew that Diana was only asking because she wanted to help, she probably thought it was some kind of petty argument, but he was thankful she didn't pry more. He was thankful Garth took that bullet for him. “It was really out of character for Wally though. And with the negative memories popping up- maybe Psimon was influencing it”?

Kyle did not want to speak, not about this, but he knew he should mention his negative memories too. So he reached over and tapped Guy’s shoulder, who glanced at him before nodding.

“Similar thing happened to Torchie. We were talking about it earlier” Guy said. “It’s still happening to him. Maybe J’onn can take a look into their heads to make sure Psimon didn’t leave anything nasty in there”.

“Of course,” J’onn said.

“Continue Wally,” Barry encouraged.

“Uh, I thought I saw Schott running off and Garth commed the field team about it but no one answered. I didn’t want to lose Schott so I suggested we went after him, and we did” Wally continued. “We followed him into the rain water system, and were gonna follow him deeper when-”.

Wally stopped, but he didn’t glance at Kyle. The League looked concerned, but Jess glanced at him in a way Kyle could only describe as supportive. Jess told him once that she struggled with anxiety and that she had anxiety attacks. He then confided in her about his panic attack in Hal’s kitchen before Thanksgiving.

“I was hit with a bunch of negative memories. I had a panic attack” Kyle said softly, keeping his eyes on Jess and pretending like he was telling her.

“It was probably Psimon’s doing too,” Simon said. John gave Kyle a look, asking for permission, and Kyle nodded.

“Kyle mentioned to me that he didn’t feel any head pain before that, but that the memories he was shown were specific,” John said. J’onn tilted his head.

“Psimon knew what he was looking for then. Someone is working with him” J’onn said. Kyle didn't want to say that the only person who could've known was Parallax, but he apparently didn’t have to.

“The Lanterns and I will look into it,” Hal said. “I have some theories”.

“We decided to pull back, but the door wouldn’t open and I couldn’t get through it. Maybe another of Psimon’s tricks? I don’t know, we tried to comm for help again but the field team didn’t answer, so Garth decided that I would stay with Torchie while he went ahead to try to find an exit” Wally said and then put his head in his hand. “Gosh, thinking about this next part makes me realize how obvious it was that Psimon was playing us. But I thought I saw Garth unconscious on the floor and I ran over to help him, but then I was trapped in this black substance that was on the floor that wasn’t there before. And Garth was walking over to help and there was an explosion, and I guess Garth and I fell in the hole it created and- Vandal Savage and Psimon were just waiting for us there. Savage was the one using the sword, and they mentioned they wanted to use it on Kara but we would do. Then Torchie came down to defend us, but he still wasn’t up to full strength- yeah. I tried to stem the bleeding from his stab wound, but I was infected with the magic too”.

Kyle didn’t remember a lot that happened after his panic attack, but he did remember the explosion. And he did remember going down to try to help but-

“My ring. I know I charged it, but it suddenly ran out of power” Kyle spoke up. Then he realized he wasn’t wearing his ring. “Where-”?

“I have it,” Guy said, holding it up to him. “John ran diagnostics on it to help us get information. It never ran out of power, it’s almost fully charged actually”.

“Psimon again” Kyle said, feeling so stupid as he took the ring back, slipping it on his left hand instead of his right. “I probably accidently willed it to stop working. Fuck”.

“That’s not your fault,” Cark said firmly. “Psimon had already lowered your defenses”.

“None of this is any of your faults” Diana told them.

“It’s mine,” Wally spoke up. “If I hadn’t-“.

“Wally it’s not your fault” Barry cut in but Wally shook his head.

“No! If you would just let me-“ Wally pleaded.

“No Wallace. I hear your side of the story! None of this is your fault. Psimon was in your head, you did the best you could for the team. None of this was your fault” Barry said, his voice stern in a way that even made Kyle uncomfortable. Wally glared down at his hands and said nothing, and Barry’s expressions softened.

“Thank you all for your explanation. The League will take it from here. Submit your case notes and the evidence you got today-“ Batman started.

“What? You're taking the case back?” Nightwing asked before laughing. “Absolutely not, we just got this case back. We’re almost done”.

“Nightwing, almost half your team is injured-“ Clark started and Donna scoffed.

“You guys go on missions already injured all the time” Donna spat and Diana raised an eyebrow, but Donna didn’t back down. “You guys are hypocrites”.

“It’s different Donna” Diana responded.

“In what way?” Roy spat. “We aren’t children anymore! How many times do we have to tell you this”!

“We don’t do this because we still see you as children” Arthur said, and this time Garth cut in.

“Then why don’t you do the same thing to Titans B? We’re the same ages as them, but none of this is happening to them” Garth argued, gripping the arms of his wheelchair and winced when he moved forward too fast.

Everyone was quiet for a moment until Nightwing stepped up.

“Look, we get it. You want to protect us. But we’re old enough to protect ourselves now, we have been for a while” Nightwing said. Batman narrowed his eyes but Nightwing stood firm.

“You can protect yourselves but almost half your team is injured” Batman said and Kyle felt his own eyes narrow.

“Is it our fault or is it not? You can’t tell us it’s not and then throw the blame right back at us just because we don’t agree with you” Nightwing said, filing his arms over his chest. “We’re adults now. Why can’t you trust us”?

“I think we need to reevaluate Titans A and how they operate,” Batman said after a moment of silence. “The League has decided to take the case, until then the seven of you are benched”.

Titans A cried out in outrage and for a second Kyle had no words.

“Seven?” Kyle cried out while Kara asked “What do you mean seven ”?

“That wasn’t brought up,” Hal argued, looking confused. “You can’t just-“!

“The seven of you are benched and that’s final” Batman cut Hal off. Hal looked like he was going to do something, but John put his hands on Hal’s shoulders and whispered something in his ear. Hal’s eyes widened and he nodded before glaring at Batman.

“Clark” Kara started and Clark looked sad.

“I’m sorry Kara-“.

“No you’re not ” she hissed, looking betrayed.

“Okay, we need to all calm down. There’s no need to bench us” Nightwing said, rolling his shoulders. “I know you want to protect us B, but this ain’t gonna be like-“.

“You don’t know what you're talking about” Batman said darkly and Nightwing snapped.

“I don’t know what I’m talking about? I don’t know what I’m talking about ” Nightwing roared, slamming his hands on the League’s table. Everyone was silent, not in fear but in shock, as Nightwing stood there with his head bowed. It reminded Kyle of an anime character with their eyes shadowed. Next to him he saw that Guy was tense, ready for a fight.

“The seven of us are leaving,” Nightwing said finally, pushing himself up from the table.

“Nightwing, you have three injured team members who need to rest-“ Diana started.

“And they will. We Titans take care of our own” Nightwing said as he turned away from them. “Titans, let’s go”.

“Nightwing” Batman called but Nightwing was quick to interrupt him.

“Don’t wanna hear it”. He stopped in front of Kyle and Guy didn’t even look at him. “Sorry I didn’t really ask if you wanted to come with us”.

“I’ll go with you” Kyle said instantly, and both Nightwing and Guy looked shocked. Then Nightwing grinned at him.

“We’ll take good care of him I promise” Nightwing said to Guy who nodded.

“Alright, stay in touch kid” Guy said, getting up. “You know how to reach me”.

“Thanks Guy” Kyle said.

“Nightwing-“!

Nightwing didn’t even look back as he moved behind to push Kyle’s wheelchair towards the door.

“Nightwing, wait” Barry called. Nightwing paused and turned around. “At least wait for J’onn to check their minds before you go”.

“Alright, we’ll wait for him in the zeta room” Nightwing said before he and Kyle continued out of the main meeting room, Connor rushing forward to open the door for them. When they reached the zeta room, the three of them were left next to each other in the center of the room.

“Team check in,” Nightwing said.

“I’m okay,” Donna answered.

“I’ll be fine. Hopefully whatever J’onn is gonna do will help” Wally said.

“Kind of in pain. Might need pain killers” Garth offered.

“Can’t wait to leave” Roy grumbled.

“I’m pissed off,” Kara said.

They all turned to him after a moment of silence and he realized that he should answer too.

“Oh. Uh. My throat hurts” Kyle said. “What about you, Nightwing?’

“I’m frustrated,” Nightwing answered as he sat on the floor with a sigh. “Sorry to pull us out like that”.

“It’s good that you did,” Donna told him. “I couldn’t stand another minute like that”.

“I was gonna throw their stupid table at a stupid wall” Kara grumbled.

“Let’s not talk about it too much here,” Nightwing said. Then he turned to Connor, who was standing a bit away from the group. “You okay Connor”?

“I- yeah” Connor said, glancing at them wearily. Kyle couldn’t read him.

J’onn came in then, so Kyle decided not to say anything right now. Behind J’onn was Simon, but he didn’t say anything as he leaned against the wall near the door. He shot Kyle a thumbs up.

“I do not want to cause too much of an intrusion into your minds. I do not need to see the negative memories, or any memories, if you allow me to help you” the three of them nodded. “Who will go first”?

“Me” Garth said. “I don’t think anything was left in my brain, so I’ll probably be the fastest”.

“Alright” J’onn said, kneeling in front of Garth and taking his hand. “I will do a quick surface check then. Try not to fight me, It will be less painful that way”.

Garth nodded and they started, Garth only grimacing a bit before J’onn pulled away.

“Nothing. Wally, you said you definitely had intrusion in your mind?” J’onn asked as he moved to Wally, who was next to Garth. Wally nodded and J’onn grabbed his hand. “We’re going to do this differently. I want you to guide me to the problem. Unfortunately that will mean you have to focus on the traumatic memories, but with you guiding me I will not have to see anything”.

Wally nodded and they started. Wally grimaced and had to use his free hand to grip the armrest of the wheelchair. It was silent for a couple of seconds, and Nightwing got closer, a concerned look on his face. Wally looked like he was visibly struggling, and Kyle was starting to dread his turn, but he knew he needed to get whatever it was out of his head. He wanted to feel more like himself again.

Wally’s eyes opened as he gasped, breathing heavily as J’onn let go of his hand. Nightwing moved to kneel in front of him quickly, and Roy kneeled in the space between Kyle and Wally while Donna hovered behind.

“You alright?” Nightwing asked. Wally nodded.

“Yeah! I just- i didn’t expect it to be like that. It hurt” Wally admitted before glancing at Kyle. “Good luck”.

At least he seemed genuine.

“Are you ready Torchie” J’onn asked, kneeling in front of Kyle now and extending his hand. “Same instructions as I gave Wally”.

Kyle hesitated. He wasn’t afraid of the pain, it couldn’t be worse than what happened with the sword, but he didn’t really know if he wanted J’onn in his head. But he needed to get rid of this horrible feeling, he needed to feel like himself again. Not feeling like himself reminded him of being possessed by Parallax and he hated it, he needed it to stop. So he put his right arm in J’onn’s hand, needing his good hand to grip something for the pain, and closed his eyes. He started focusing on the bad memories, of Alex in the fridge, of his mom dying, of Parallax and Sinestro, of his early interactions with the Justice League-

He felt something nudge at his brain and pushed it away reflexively, a stab of pain ripping through his brain causing him to cry out. He moved to grip the armrest of his wheelchair but grabbed a hand instead. He squeezed hard, feeling bad, but he probably was not stronger than any of them could handle. Two hands placed themselves on his shoulders and squeezed.

“Don’t fight it, it will hurt more” J’onn said and Kyle winced.

“Sorry” he rasped before trying again. This time when he felt the nudge he forced himself to let it in.

He didn’t know how he was able to describe it, but he could feel it crawling around his mind but not going inside. He still hated the foreign feeling of something poking around his mind. It reminded him of Para- it was like someone turned off the tv and all he could see was black.

‘Focus Torchbearer’ J’onn’s voice said in his mind. ‘I do not want to see what I wasn’t meant to. Guide me to the problem area’.

Kyle felt a little embarrassed but focused on the problem spot. He once again felt the uncomfortable foreign thing moving along his mind and focused hard on the horrible memories instead. It really was a lose-lose situation.

The mental pain was then joined by physical pain as J’onn worked to remove whatever Psimon had left in his mind. He focused on the memories, vaguely feeling the hands on his shoulders rubbing circles with their thumbs and the hand he was clinging to giving his a soft squeeze. After what felt like forever, it felt like a pressure was lifted in his brain and that horrible feeling left with it. J’onn let go of his arm, and Kyle finally felt okay when that foreign presence left his head.

He opened his eyes, looking at the hand he was holding and looked up a bit to see it was Donna’s. She smiled at him, giving his hand another squeeze.

“You okay?” Simon asked, and Kyle realized that he was the one with his hands on Kyle’s shoulders.

“Yeah, much better. Thank you J’onn” Kyle said and J’onn nodded at him before standing up.

“I know you are all at odds with the League, but if you find out that something else Psimon did is damaging your mind, please let me know” J’onn said. “In that moment it is not about pride, it is not about who is right or wrong, it is about your health and safety”.

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Nightwing said, grabbing the handles of Wally’s wheelchair. Donna’s hand left his unfortunately and he felt his wheelchair move back a bit.

“See you later Torchie” Simon said as he walked around the wheelchair, following J’onn out of the zeta room.

“A-18: Troia, A-19: Green Lantern, A-20: Supergirl, A-22: Nightwing, B-3: Flash, B-4: Tempest, B-5: Red Arrow, B-19: Green Arrow ” the system rang out when the zetaed to Titans Tower.

“Kara, can you take over for me?” Nightwing asked and Kara nodded, taking Nightwing's spot behind Wally’s wheelchair. “Connor, come with me. I’m gonna talk to Titans B and Titans West about what’s going on, you guys get back to Titans A’s floor and rest. We can go over everything tomorrow”.

Connor nodded and the two of them took the stairs while the rest of them got in the elevator.

“I can walk,” Wally said. “Really I’m healed now. And with what J’onn did I’m 100%”.

“Just for today Wally. Tomorrow if you still feel good, go for it” Donna said, and Wally made a face but nodded.

They made it to Titans A’s floor, and Kyle was pushed towards the guest room. Donna situated the wheel chair next to the bed, and Kyle dreaded having to transfer. His body ached from the magic, and he didn’t want his stab wound to start hurting again.

“You want help or you got it?” Donna asked and Kyle almost sighed with relief.

“Please” he said and Donna nodded. She hooked an arm under his knees and another behind his back and lifted him with ease. He winced at the spike of pain, but relaxed when she set him on the bed. He had been sleeping for hours but he was still exhausted, J’onn going through his mind making him even more exhausted. Donna sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “You okay”?

“I’m just glad you’re all okay,” Donna admitted. “For a moment it looked bleak. We couldn't find you guys, they wouldn’t let us help, and then the state you guys came back in- I’m so happy you’re okay”.

“I’m sorry we worried you” Kyle told her, and she took his good hand in hers. He squeezed lightly before running his thumb over her hand. She smiled at him, and he immediately felt better.

A knock had them both turning towards the door, Kyle wincing at the fast movement before he just gave up and laid there.

“Hey Donna, Garth needs you” he heard Kara say from the door. Donna laughed.

“ Of course he does. I’ll be back if you're still awake, Torchie, but try to get some rest and relax” Donna said, squeezing his hand again and Kyle nodded. Donna left and Kara took her place.

“Hey,” Kara said. “Everything okay? I didn’t think you’d come back with us”.

He could easily tell what she meant. ‘What happened between you and the Lanterns’? He hesitated for a second. It was Kara, he could trust Kara. Out of everyone he’s met in the hero community since becoming Green Lantern, Kara has always been so nice to him. She’s never hated him for taking up the mantle or was mistrustful of him. She never did anything to make him think she was anything other than trustworthy.

“Can you close the door?” he asked. She nodded and once she was back in her spot he continued. “Remember when I told you that there was a war, and that I might be a bit traumatized from it. Well uh, Hal might have told Wally and Roy about it”.

“Oh” Kara said, eyes wide. “Torchie that- that sucks. Was Wally being an asshole about it”?

“No! Well yes but- he didn’t mean it. That wasn’t- I don’t think that was him” Kyle admitted. It sucked, he hated knowing that Wally, Roy, and now Garth knew, but he didn’t really blame Wally. He wanted to, it would be easier to, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know if he blamed Hal though.

“The debriefing, what he said to Garth- that was actually to you” Kara asked and Kyle nodded.

“I don’t really know how to feel about it yet I just- I hate people knowing things about me that I’m not ready to share. Especially something so personal” Kyle told her. Kara looked away, debating something before looking at him again. He did not have a good feeling about this.

“I should just tell you now. The sooner the better” Kara said and Kyle tried to sit up, but winced and let her help him back down.

‘Kara”? His stomach hurt again, he didn’t like how she was acting.

“When you were being treated for your injuries, Connor was right. No one new saw your face or figured out your identity” Kara said and Kyle stared at her for a moment.

“Why did you say it like that”?

“You got a cut on your face that had to be treated. There was an argument between Hal and Batman about keeping your identity a secret because Batman was saying he would treat you” Kara continued.

“Kara”? She sighed.

“Batman said that he was the best person to do it because he already knew your secret identity”.

Chapter Text

October, -xxx1 (2 months ago)

Kyle couldn’t stop shaking.

He hated this, he hated this so much . His mam was dead, he would never be able to see her again, never hear her laugh or see her smile. She was the only thing he had left and she was gone, just like that. He regretted wanting to leave the house so bad, he regretted all of the fights, he regretted not coming to see her more often-

She was all he had left, and now he was standing at her funeral, all alone. And he couldn’t stop fucking shaking .

He refused to cry again, he had cried the entire week leading up to this and just couldn’t let himself keep falling apart. But standing in this group of people, where everyone was looking at him but not talking to him or offering a single condolence, he felt so alone and so isolated. Would this be the rest of his life?

He clenched his fists trying to get a grip, trying to exert some kind of control over himself, but he still couldn’t stop shaking. He bit his lip as he watched them take her casket to her grave. God, how was he gonna watch them put her in the ground? How would he be able to stand watching them just putting her somewhere he would never be able to see her again? There was no way he could undo this, this was permanent, just like Alex. Kyle felt cursed, doomed to destroy everyone he touched-

An arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close, causing him to jump. Slowly, he glanced over to his left and froze. Sodam Yat was standing with his arm around Kyle, wearing a suit and a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. He didn’t look at Kyle, but he was frowning.

“I’m so sorry” Sodam said in a hushed tone, so only Kyle could hear him. “And I know I wasn’t invited, but I thought you could use some support”.

Kyle stared at him, speechless.

“I haven't seen your face,” Sodam said. “And I’m not going to look, don’t worry. Sora and Tu are here too, but they’re hiding since they don’t really pass as human as well as I do. We uh, can leave if you want though”?

“ No, stay ,” Kyle pleaded, because he couldn’t be alone, he just couldn’t . He grabbed Sodam’s right hand that was slung over Kyle’s shoulder with his left and Sodam squeezed it firmly.

Sodam stood with him as they put his mam in the ground and said nothing as Kyle’s shaking got worse. People started to trickle out and leave one by one when his mam was buried, and Kyle put his free hand over his mouth for an ounce of comfort. Gosh he was gonna scream or throw up. It wasn’t fair, why did she have to die? He wasn’t ready yet, he had just turned 20, he wasn’t ready ! She was supposed to see him get married and play with her grandkids and grow old and-

“Torchbearer” Sodam said, getting Kyle’s attention. When did it start raining? “Everyone else is gone, it’s just us. It’s okay now”.

Sodam barely finished the sentence when a sob tore itself from Kyle’s throat. Kyle couldn’t even stop it anymore, he just let it happen. He didn’t know how long he stood there for, sobbing like a small child for the mother he no longer had as the rain got worse, but Sodam stayed by him the whole time. He didn’t rush him, didn’t ask him if he was done, he just stood with an arm wrapped around him offering him more support than the people who came to the funeral. People who had known him and his mam for years.

He and Sodam flew back to his mam’s house after, sending Tu and Sora the coordinates to meet them there. Kyle, now in his Green Lantern uniform, opened the back door and was immediately pulled into a hug by Sora the second both her and Tu were inside. Tu put a hand on his shoulder as Sora ran a hand up and down his back. They gave their condolences and Kyle could only offer them a numb shrug in return.

He had so much to do. He had to pack the house, put it for sale- he barely mentioned it to them when he was suddenly laying on the couch with his head in Sora’s lap while she worked on his laptop, using her ring to translate what she was reading and writing. Sodam and Tu (aided by constructs) were packing things he wanted to keep, organizing things into piles for donation and trash, cleaning the house-

His mam’s house was ready to sell and her affairs settled, and Kyle didn’t even have to lift a finger. The most he had to do was answer yes or no questions. They had been there a couple of days, but he was fed and taken care of and-

“Why?” Kyle asked weakly. They looked confused so he continued. “Why did you come to the funeral? Why did you do all of this for me”?

“Torchbearer, we’re your friends” Tu said, looking at Kyle like he was stupid. “Why wouldn’t we help you”?

“We’d do more if we could,” Sodam said, and Sora nodded.

“This is a lot b ut you don’t have to do it on your own. We’re here for you” Sora said, crouching in front of him again. Kyle looked at all of them, his brain processing all of this, all of what they had done for him-

Kyle took off his mask.

“It's okay” Kyle said when they all quickly looked away. They slowly looked back, taking in his face for the first time. What had he done to deserve friends like them? He let out a sob, and they were quick to surround him.

“Thank you”.

-

December 29th, -xxx1 (present)

“What’s wrong?” Kori asked, rolling over in bed so that she was facing him. DICK pulled her close, burying his face in her hair.

He had spent the night in Kori’s room on Titans B’s floor, letting Kara use his room so that Torchie could use the guest room. He had told Titans B and Titans West to not answer the League for the moment unless it was an emergency, and that all of the Titans would have a meeting the next day about things.

Dick was still unsure about what to say. He was unsure about a lot of things really. Should he have pulled Titans A out of the meeting like that? He hadn't been thinking, only doing the first thing that came to his mind. He almost left without having J’onn check Wally, Garth, and Torchie out first, which was so stupid. What if they had left and something had happened? What if whatever Psimon did left lasting damage that could’ve been avoidable if Dick had been thinking?

The whole thing was a disaster. Dick had been so worried about them, and he felt so stupid for listening to the League when they told the field team to stay at the Hall. They should’ve helped anyways, what was Dick thinking? Why did he keep making all the wrong decisions for his team lately?

Why didn’t any of them say anything about it?

Roy and Donna had been silent, sitting together and staring anxiously at a wall while they all listened to comms, waiting for good news. Roy especially would be the one to call Dick out when he thought Dick was doing something stupid, which was often, but this time? Nothing.

Lately? Nothing.

“Hey” Kori said, getting his attention. Dick pulled back so she could look at him, and she cupped his face in her hands. “Talk to me Bird. I can hear you thinking a mile a minute”.

“I don’t think I’m doing a good job,” Dick admitted. “As leader”.

“You’re doing the best you can,” Kori said. “But it’s always good to take a step back and reevaluate, see how you can improve”.

Dick nodded. Take a step back, reevaluate. Yeah. He needed to take a step back and think.

“It’s okay to be unsure. Afraid” Kori told him softly, bringing his forehead to hers softly. “I was afraid the other day. When we went out to look for them”.

“I thought we lost them,” Dick admitted softly. “I thought- Kori, when Robin rattled off the injury report- when they arrived at the Hall-”.

Wally had looked gray, his eyes unfocused and his leg a bloody mess with debris going through it. Hearing Uncle Barry cry out for Wally to stay awake was horrible and there was nothing Dick could do about it. And then seeing how guilty Wally had been when he woke up, desperately trying to apologize for something that wasn’t his fault- Dick really needed to do a check in with him.

Garth had been dehydrated and covered in burns on his torso. He was unconscious too, and Dick had the horrible thought of ‘what if he didn’t wake up’? It was the most Dick had seen Uncle Arthur and Mera talk since Arthur jr. had died, and he wondered if they thought they were gonna lose another child.

Torchie’s screams still haunted him, the pure agony of having his blood basically burn him from the inside out making itself known. He was covered in his own blood, and they couldn’t treat him until his blood wasn’t dangerous to others. Zatanna had to work fast to reverse it before he bled out, and he could see the stress on her face as she did her thing. Torchie had started thrashing at one point, and the other Lanterns had to hold him down. or well, they tried. Hal, John, and Simon had been infected by touching his blood and were on the floor in pain. Guy had been on the floor as well, but he didn’t let go of Torchie’s hand. After the agony had been lifted from them, Bruce had taken Torchie to dress his wounds.

Dick had no idea what Bruce had said to Hal to make him so angry, but he came back looking murderous.

He and Kori just curled up with each other for a little longer before Dick had to get up and start planning what he was going to say. He went up to the roof of Titans Tower with a WayneTab and sat with his feet dangling over the edge. He didn’t know how long he sat there thinking when someone sat next to him.

“I know that look. You’re planning, aren’t you” Jason said with a teasing grin. Dick let himself smile.

“Yeah, I have to figure out what I have to say at this meeting,” Dick said, glancing at him. Jason tilted his head to the side.

“Take a step back. What are we addressing” Jason asked. Dick pursed his lips and started typing as he spoke.

“I need to tell the Titans what happened with the League. And I need to make a decision on where I want us to stand with the League, how we’ll operate with the League for right now. Am I going to keep this just as a Titans A problem, or am I including the Titans as a whole” Dick said and Jason nodded.

“Are you going to separate the Titans from the League?” Jason asked. “Work completely without them”?

“I- I don’t know. It’s a big decision, but I’m so mad at them right now that I don’t know if I can make the right decision” Dick told him honestly before he thought about it. “It’s always an option, but it’s easier to leave than to come back. So for now, I think I’m just gonna limit contact between the Titans and the League until we can reach an agreement”.

“All the Titans?” Jason asked and Dick paused.

“-yes. I think we should show up as a united front. I don’t think this issue will spread to Titans B but- just in case” Dick said.

“And what about Torchie and Kara?” Jason asked. “Where do they fall in this? Torchie is close to the Lanterns, he and the other Lanterns are on the League. And Torchie isn’t a Titan right? Neither is Kara”.

“You’re right. I need to consider them” Dick sighed. “They aren’t officially Titans, and with all this going on I don’t want to offer them membership and make them choose”..

“Are you gonna have another debrief with your team?” Jason asked.

“No. I’m gonna look through the files myself and then share the information. I don’t want them to have to recount that again. I heard what I needed to about it but-“ Dick replayed the debrief with the League in his head.

“You need to talk to Wally” Jason finished and Dick nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m a bad friend Little Wing. He and I have been needing to talk for a while. He always thinks he has to prove himself, that he’s not worthy, and I know it’s weighing on him. I don’t know if it’s better or worse now that Uncle Barry is back” Dick admitted. “And what he said to Garth- gotta check up on that”.

“Do you think he actually said whatever he said to Garth?” Jason asked, but Dick could easily tell what he really thought.

“No,” Dick agreed. “I should probably check on Torchie too. I keep saying I’m gonna check on people and I don’t. I need to make it a priority”.

“Speaking of priorities” Jason started and Dick immediately felt dread. “Titans West-“.

“Not right now” Dick cut him off. Jason rolled his eyes.

“You know they’re gonna ask. You need to have something ready” Jason said and Dick put the tablet down before putting his head in his hands. “You need to keep them safe-“!

“I know! I know ! I just- I don’t know what to do with them” Dick said and Jason sighed.

“And now you’re out of time” Jason said, shaking his head. Dick blinked at him, confused. “Your meeting started 15 minutes ago”.

Dick gasped, almost dropping his tablet off of Titans Tower in his hurry to get up. He ran down stairs and was embarrassed to see he was the last one to arrive.

Torchie, Garth, and Wally were sitting in the middle of the couch, now no longer dressed in hospital gowns (though Dick was pretty sure Torchie was in Roy’s clothes). Kara sat next to Torchie and Donna next to Wally while Roy was on the floor in front of him. Titans West sat next to Kara, minus M’gann who was floating behind them, and Karen, Rachel, and Kori were on the couch next to Donna while Gar and Vic were on the floor.

“Late” Roy called out, and Donna reached over to smack him on the back of the head.

“Sorry. I was talking to Robin” Dick admitted as Jason slipped in and leaned against the wall at the back of the room. He shot Dick a thumbs up. “But let’s start”!

Dick walked over so that he was in the center of the room, handing his tablet to Kori.

“There was a problem with the League yesterday” Dick started. “I’m starting to question whether or not the League is really focused on doing what's best for us compared to what they’re comfortable with, so for right now I’m pausing communication with the League unless it’s an emergency. I will give out missions instead of taking them from the League, and no League members will be allowed in the Tower without prior permission. Vote”.

“Titans A, 5/5 agree” Donna, his second in command, said after a quick check in with the others.

“Titans B, 5/5 agree” Vic, the leader of Titans B, said.

“Titans West, 4/4 agree” Connor said and Dick paused. Well, they were Titans and they got a vote too.

“Kara and Torchie, you guys can of course make your own decisions regarding your interactions with the League, but you’re both always welcome here no matter what outcome we reach after the pause” Dick said. Torchie nodded, taking a sip of the smoothie he had in his hands, while Kara gave Dick a thumbs up.

“I’ll add changing the zeta permissions to your todo list” Kori said, typing on his WayneTab.

“I can draft up a message to the League for you to look at” Karen said and Dick nodded, appreciative that they were taking some weight off his shoulders.

“Titans A, we’ll need to talk about the case again soon, but for now rest. Titans B, keep patrolling and we can start looking into cases after New Years” Dick directed. “That’s all, thanks guys”.

“That’s all?” Connor asked and Dick tried not to wince. “What about Titans West”?

Dick was really hoping Titans West, Connor specifically, just wouldn’t ask. That he wouldn’t need to make a decision right now, but he had been stupid to think Connor wouldn’t. And now he had to tell them something , in front of all the other Titans. Dick glanced at Jason, who nodded at him, and Dick glanced back at Connor.

“Keep training” Dick told him and Connor’s face fell. “And when you guys are ready-“.

“When we’re ready? We did a good job the other day, we found them! We found them by ourselves and saved them” Connor said, gesturing to Torchie, Wally, and Garth on the couch.

“You did do a good job. Thank you for getting my team back. But you guys need more-“.

“Are you even hearing yourself right now!” Connor exploded, now standing. “You’re a hypocrite”!

“Connor” Roy said sharply, but Connor kept going.

“You’re all hypocrites! You keep telling me that you disagree with him, that he’s not doing okay and to give him time, but then you keep enabling him! None of you are okay, but none of you are trying to fix it because you're too busy trying not to hurt each other's feelings! What about my feelings? What about Joey, Jackson, and M’gann’s feelings? You keep writing us off and telling us we’re not good enough” Connor snapped, his voice growing in volume as he kept going.

For the first time in a long time, Dick was frozen. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t talk-

“It’s not like that Connor,” Donna said. Everyone besides Titans West looked shocked, Torchie’s mouth even hanging open.

“Isn’t it? We’re working so hard, but it’s never enough. I know you’re going through something, I know it’s been hard and I can’t imagine your pain, but you’re spreading that pain to the rest of us Bird and it’s not fair. And the rest of you aren’t doing anything to help us either so you’re just as guilty. You keep saying the League is wrong, but you're just like them . No, you're probably even worse” Connor shook his head before walking right past Dick.

“Connor, where are you going?” Roy called, getting up. Dick numbly followed Connor with his gaze.

“Home. I quit” Connor said as he pressed the panel on the elevator. “Titans West, Torchie, and Kara know how to reach me”.

“Connor you can’t just-“ Donna said, getting up too.

“I’m not a Titan anymore Donna, you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do” Connor said getting into the elevator. “I can’t just keep waiting and being stuck in the same place. I do this to help people, and none of you are letting me. This isn’t some stupid thing to show the League how strong we are. Remember why you do this”.

And he was gone.

“He’s just angry,” Jason said. “He’ll be back before you know it. He’ll understand you’re just trying to keep them safe Big Wing. Nothing he said was right, but don’t hold it against him”.

Dick nodded numbly as Kori stood up and gently grabbed his arm.

“Bird” she said softly and he gave her a forced smile.

“It’s okay,” Dick told her. He gave everyone else a smile that came easier to him, because it was fine. Things happened. “Remember the tasks I gave you. I’m gonna be doing some case work if anyone needs me”.

He walked out of the room, doing his best to push ugly thoughts out of his mind but it was hard. Were his friends actually saying that about him? Did they think there was something wrong with him but just wanted to placate him? No, they would say something. He was fine, everything was okay.

He went down to the monitor room and started to look through the information he got from Schott’s computer, but it was so hard to concentrate. What Connor said was really starting to bother him, and the fact that no one from Titans A came up to talk to him made that feeling worse.

Eventually someone did come to see him but it was Karen and Kori, not any of Titans A. They were both smiling but he could see the uncertainty in their eyes. He ignored it.

“I finished the draft for you to read, and Vic already redid the zeta permissions so the only people who can enter without needing permission are the ones currently in this building” Karen said, handing him his WayneTab. He had forgotten to get it back from Kori.

“Oh shoot forgot about the zeta, thanks guys” Dick said as he took the WayneTab. “What’s everyone doing”?

“Vic, Rachel, and Gar went out on patrol. Titans A are on their floor with Torchie and Kara, and I can confirm that both Garth and Torchie are being taken care of before you ask. Wally has already healed from his injuries but he’s been a bit off” Kori explained and Dick nodded. He knew what she was implying.

“I’ll talk to him. Today” Dick said. Then he hesitated before asking. “What about Titans West”?

“They uh,” Karen started, looking like she’d rather not. “They kinda shut themselves in on their floor and are pissed off”.

Dick wanted to ask who they were pissed off at but he knew it wasn’t Connor. Unlike Connor, they lived at Titans Tower full time. And while Joey had nowhere else to go, M’gann and Jackson could go back with their relatives, but not as fast as Connor could go back to Ollie’s. He wondered if they would’ve left with him if they had somewhere else to go as easily.

“I’ll talk to them too” Dick promised and Kori frowned.

“Bird, I’m worried about you,” Kori started softly. “You-“.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” Dick snapped. “I’m fine”.

Kori’s eyes widened and she took a step back before glaring at him.

“I was going to say you haven’t eaten all day and that you need to eat something” Kori said sternly and Dick deflated, feeling guilty. “You didn’t need to snap at me like that. I didn’t deserve that”.

Dick hung his head in shame because she was right. What was wrong with him? She had shown him nothing but love and support, and he just snapped at her.

“We’re joining the rest of our team on patrol. We can talk later” Kori decided and Dick nodded. He felt them both leave and sighed. He needed to get a grip. He couldn’t let what Connor said make him spiral. His team needed him, he couldn’t buckle under the pressure now. He needed to focus.

To do

• Send message to the League

• Talk to Wally

• Check in with team

• Check in with Titans West?

It probably would be best to give Titans West a second to cool off, so Dick read over the message Karen drafted before sending it. He contemplated waiting for a response before deciding to just continue his to do list.

He took the elevator down to Titans A’s floor and was surprised to see everyone in the living room watching a movie. The second he walked in, they paused the movie and all stared at him, waiting. He smiled, and while Donna, Roy, Wally, and Garth looked relieved, Kara still looked concerned while Torchie was frowning.

He focused on the positive.

“Hey guys, how-“? Dick’s comm buzzed, stopping him. He grabbed it and looked at the screen, surprised to see that Hal was comming him. “Go for Nightwing”.

“Hey, read your message. I was wondering if one of the Lanterns could drop some stuff off for Torchie if he’s staying with you guys still? One Hit talked to him earlier about getting things from his apartment, but if you’re closing the zeta” Hal trailed and Dick blinked twice.

“Uh, yeah that’s fine. Have someone stop by and I’ll have someone meet you on top of the tower. Nightwing out” Dick said before turning back to them, surprised that Hal didn’t really care about the real issue the message touched on. Then again, it was Hal. “Sorry. Uh, anyone wanna meet a Lantern on the top of the tower”?

“I’ll do it” Kara volunteered, getting up.

“I did want to make sure everyone was alright from uh, what happened earlier today” Dick continued. Garth gave him a thumbs up from where he sat in the tank.

“I’m fine,” Kara said on her way out, clapping Dick on the shoulder as she passed him. She called over her shoulder, “You did miss Wally fail epically at Uno”.

“Okay, so I didn’t fail! They were just cheating” Wally accused with a frown and Donna laughed. Maybe she did cheat, Dick was unsure.

“We’re fine but uh- do you want me to talk to Connor?” Roy offered but Dick shook his head.

“It’s okay really. It sucks but- we’ll just give him time” Dick said and everyone nodded. “I need to borrow Wally for a second for something, but maybe we can all hangout after”?

Wally looked alarmed but the others agreed, so Wally got up and followed Dick back to the monitor room.

“Everything uh, okay” Wally asked awkwardly.

“Just doing a check in,” Dick said, taking a seat. Wally made a face but sat across from him.

“I know I haven’t been performing well lately” Wally started and Dick had to take a second to process that.

“Wally you’ve been doing fine” Dick reassured him. “What happened on this last mission-“.

“But it’s not just the last mission! I keep messing up” Wally said, sounding frustrated. “Not being fast enough to save those civilians in Texas, not showing up when you needed me in Florida, messing up with the drive twice, and this last mission was just the cherry on top. I don’t know what’s wrong with me”!

Dick reached forward to take his hand and squeeze.

“Wally, there’s nothing wrong with you. Those civilians in Texas weren’t your fault, none of us could’ve seen that coming. Not showing up in Florida, yeah we should probably talk about that but the drive wasn’t your fault and I never thought it was. When I was getting the information on the last mission I saw someone was counter hacking me. It wasn’t you or the usb, something was stopping you” Dick said and Wally’s eyes widened.

“Then why did you take me off of the field team? I thought it was because you thought it was my fault” Wally said and Dick shook his head.

“No, I promise I never thought it was your fault. But it was our last chance to get the information and I needed to check it out for myself. I couldn’t let the drive fail us, so I switched us. Kara was supposed to stay with you guys but I needed her for an extraction” Dock told him.

“Then why put Garth in charge?” Wally asked.

“It wasn’t about skill or competence. I just- last time I put you two on a team you disappeared and I thought something bad happened to you guys. Garth is a good mediator, I didn’t want you two to fight over who was in charge” Dick said and Wally nodded.

“I mean- you’re not wrong. That’s why we disappeared in Miami. We got into a fist fight and didn’t check our comms” Wally explained and Dick raised an eyebrow. “And uh, I started a fight in New York too”.

“So the things you said to Garth- it was to Torchie” Dick asked and Wally nodded. “Wally, Psimon was messing with your head”.

“I know but- what I said was really bad Bird. Like- really bad ” Wally said. “I can’t tell you what I said, it’s bad enough Garth knows, but I- I used something personal against him”.

Wally wouldn’t look at him, head bowed and body hunched over in shame. Dick didn’t know how to make it better and he hated it.

“Have you interacted with him since you woke up?” Dick asked and Wally shook his head.

“Not directly. Well, you saw me talk to him when J’onn was helping us out but I don’t think that landed well” Wally admitted. “We’ve been in the same space, just haven’t talked. I feel bad like- I definitely crossed the line”.

“The only thing I could recommend is apologize and give it time,” Dick said. “Even though it’s technically not your fault, it’s Psimon’s, his feelings of hurt are still valid. But everything else on that mission wasn’t your fault. It was a planned attack, Psimon messed with your head, it’s not your fault. Everyone needs help sometimes, and on this last mission it just happened to be the three of you”.

Wally looked up at him, hesitant. Dick knew he wanted to say something, but he was holding back, so Dick gave him a nod of encouragement but Wally looked back down and Dick tried not to frown.

“Thanks Bird. I just- I want to live up to the Flash mantle” Wally told him, but Dick could tell he was still holding back what he actually wanted to say.

Dick left it alone.

“Of course Wally. And you’re doing great as the Flash. All of us couldn’t be prouder”.

-

December 30th, -xxx1

KYLE was happy to be back in his own clothes.

Jess had brought him some stuff yesterday, and Kyle had been so excited to get out of Roy’s clothes that he didn’t care how they got into his apartment to get them. He could at least tell Jess was one of the ones who went because she was the only one he believed had enough sense to pack him the comfy clothes he found in his bag.

She also put a pack of golden Oreos in his bag, so she was absolutely his favorite right now.

Minus Connor (rightfully) crashing out at the meeting yesterday, everything had been going surprisingly well at the tower. Wally was no longer injured, but Titans A and Kara had been taking care of Garth AND Kyle. Roy had even made him a smoothie yesterday, which was suspicious, but it was a good smoothie.

Things were awkward with him and Wally. They hadn’t spoken to each other despite the fact that they were existing in the same space, and the few times they locked eyes Wally was quick to look away. Kyle could tell he felt bad, but he honestly did not want to deal with it right now. It sounded bad but he really just needed a minute.

“Need help sitting up” Roy asked after he finished cleaning and rebandaging Kyle’s stab wound. Kyle, with great difficulty, could clean and rebandage the ones on his face but couldn’t do the one on his stomach since he would have to lean over to see it. And he couldn’t do his hand at all, but Kara did it yesterday and Roy was doing it today.

“Yeah” Kyle said, and Roy helped him sit up before starting on his hand. “Hey uh, can I talk to you about something”?

Roy knew about him being possessed by Parallax too. And while Kyle didn’t want to deal with Hal and Wally at the moment, he wanted to get a step ahead on Roy.

“Sure” Roy said with a raised eyebrow. “What’s up”?

“I know that you know-“ Kyle started and then paused. He didn’t know if there were like, cameras or something in here. “I know what Hal told you and Wally about me”.

Roy didn’t skip a beat in what he was doing, he just hummed in acknowledgment.

“I’m guessing Wally mentioned it?” Roy asked. Then quieter, “The thing he and Garth said was them was you”?

“Yeah” was all Kyle could say.

“It’s not your fault,” Roy said. “What happened to you. And Uncle Hal probably shouldn’t have told us, but- he doesn’t like to admit it but that whole thing still really affects him. I could tell he didn’t mean to tell us, but there’s not a lot of people who understand it”.

“And you two- you two understand it?” Kyle asked, getting a little annoyed.

“Not what happened, but what happens after” Roy said, pausing a bit when Kyle cried out as he was cleaning his injury before continuing. “Uncle Hal- it was really bad when it happened, I had never seen him like that. What I’m saying is that I know it’s bad and what it can do to someone, and Uncle Hal knows that Wally and I know that. I don’t think he would’ve even told us accidently if he didn’t think that. What happened with Wally sucks, but if you ever need someone to talk to about it I'm here. Wally too but you don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to”.

Kyle nodded slowly.

“Thanks Roy,” Kyle said finally. “It’s- yeah. I’m still processing the whole thing. Well- what actually happened, but figuring out that more people know. I’ve been struggling with it”.

This time Roy hesitated, pausing in the middle of bandaging Kyle’s hand.

“Let’s make it a fair trade” Roy said, and before Kyle could ask what that meant, Roy kept speaking. “I know you know that Ollie and I have a rough relationship. He adopted me when I was younger, but a few years ago he caught me using drugs and kicked me out”.

Kyle stared at Roy while he finished bandaging his hand.

“What”? Roy waved him off.

“I’m not telling you this for you to hate Ollie or to jump to my rescue or whatever. I’m telling you a piece of personal information because I know a piece of personal information about you. What happened is between me and Ollie, don’t let it change how you think about him. You weren’t here when it happened” Roy said. Kyle nodded.

“Oh yeah” Kyle said, and for some stupid reason, he did feel a bit better about Roy knowing. “Thanks Roy”.

When he and Roy got back to Titans A’s floor, there was no one in the living room. Surprisingly they found Kara and Donna on the floor of the guest room.

“There you guys are,” Donna said with a smile. Being at Titans Tower meant he also got to spend more time with her, and Kyle was not gonna complain about getting nursed back to health by a pretty girl. She of course helped out with Garth too, but- well, she gave Kyle a lot of attention.

“Where’s everyone else?” Roy asked, pushing the wheelchair into the room.

“I think Bird is working on case stuff, and Wally went with Garth down to the beach so Garth can get into some ‘real water’ as he likes to say” Kara said. Roy sighed.

“Okay I’ll go with them. You guys get Torchie now” Roy said before walking off. Kyle shook his head.

“Need help getting into bed?” Donna asked and Kyle nodded. She easily picked him up and set him on the bed. “Sorry we’re manhandling you all the time. It must suck”.

“Oh no it’s great. I’d much rather you help me out than I reaggravate this injury” Kyle told her honestly, because he didn’t think it would be smart to tell her he thought it was hot. “I’m done with pain for at least a week”.

Donna laughed lightly, a beautiful sound that made his heart flutter. Kara wiggled her eyebrows over Donna’s shoulder and Kyle ignored her as Donna sat next to him at the edge of the bed. He really, really wanted to draw Donna right now, but his hand wouldn’t let him. He actually had to cancel his commissions after just getting his new drawing tablet, which made him feel bad because that thing was expensive and now he couldn’t use it. At least his rent was paid off for the rest of his lease, and no, he was not gonna think about how he would pay for food or utilities.

“Bird was talking about having a New Year’s party tomorrow,” Donna said. Kara raised an eyebrow.

“And you guys are staying for that” Kara asked before turning to Kyle. “Titans B usually celebrates New Years here at the Tower with Joey, and Titans A usually goes home to their families”.

“We are. With the injuries and our relationship with the League not being the best right now we all agreed to stay together, thus a Titans party with no League members allowed” Donna said before smiling at Kyle. “You’re the exception of course. You’re welcome to join us if you don't have any plans”.

“Aw thanks, I feel special” Kyle grinned. “I’ll join. I was supposed to do whatever Hal, Oliver, and Barry had planned, but Hal and I aren’t really talking at the moment”.

They looked alarmed and Kyle remembered that he hadn't really told anyone about it. Only the other Lanterns knew.

“What happened?” Kara asked. Kyle thought about how he could describe it without saying too much.

“Uh, Hal told Wally something personal about me” Kyle admitted before explaining that what Wally had said when Psimon tampered with his head was actually to Kyle and not Garth.

“Is that why you and Wally haven’t been speaking?” Donna asked and Kyle nodded.

“It’s like- I’m not mad at either of them. I know Wally didn’t mean to say it, that was Psimon’s fault. And Hal-”. Kyle didn’t know what to say about Hal, not really. It was all so confusing, and what Wally said had affected him more than he wanted to admit. But he knew he wasn’t mad. “I don’t even want to think about it honestly. Like, I want to fix things and I’m going to! But I need a minute”.

“That makes sense,” Kara nodded. “I feel kinda similar with what happened with the League, and Clark especially. But he’s my cousin, I know I’m not going to be mad at him forever. But for right now? No”.

“You’re allowed to take a second to breathe,” Donna reminded him. “I think we all need a second to breathe to be honest”.

Donna took his hand in hers, and he felt a little better that they were agreeing with him. He kind of expected them to remind him that it wasn’t Wally’s fault and that he should forgive Wally or something like that since they had known Wally longer, but they had sympathized with him and validated his feelings, like he was one of them. He felt like he was being stupid and naive again, getting a bit attached to the Titans so quickly, but it felt good not being alone again. It felt good to belong.

There was a knock at the door and they turned to see Nightwing, grinning with a WayneTab in his hand. Donna and Kyle quickly let go of each other's hands, and Kara sighed deeply.

“Hey guys! Came to say Torchie has some visitors” Nightwing said and Kyle frowned, grabbing his phone. No one had texted him, and he hadn’t been contacted through his ring.

“I didn’t hear the system announce anyone” Donna said, which was a good point.

“I added them in now with guest codes under Torchie” Nightwing said, stepping off to the side. Someone else stepped into his place, two other heads peeking through the door frame. Kyle’s eyes widened.

“Sodam? Sora? Tu?” Kyle asked, not able to keep the grin from his face. “Oh my gosh, what are you guys doing here”?

“We came to see you” Sora said, stepping in the room first, Tu and Sodam following behind as Nightwing moved to lean back in the doorway.

He hadn’t seen them since he left Oa just before Thanksgiving, but he had talked to them plenty though his ring. Sodam, who had been in the infirmary recovering from his injuries he got in the war when Kyle had last seen him, looked completely fine now and Tu’s arm was no longer in a cast.

“Oh, introductions! Soranik Natu, Tomar-Tu and Sodam Yat, meet Donna Troy, Kara Zor-El, and Nightwing” Kyle said, gesturing to each person with his good hand.

“Always great to see more aliens in the tower,” Kara said in a joking tone with a laugh, but Kyle could see how happy she was about it. Maybe they should take a space trip?

“Are you not from Earth?” Tu asked, cocking his head to the side.

“I’m Kryptonian,” Kara said. “We have a Tamerianian in the tower too”.

“Krypton was in my sector. Though that was before I was a Green Lantern” Tu said, realizing that maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say. Kara didn’t seem bothered though, and looked happier if anything.

“Oh yeah Kara, and Sodam is from Daxam. They are basically like discount Kryptonians” Kyle said. “He also gets powers from the yellow sun”.

“Oh yeah it’s great” Sodam said with a grin. “Flight, lasers coming from my eyes, increased strength-“.

“Increased stamina?” Kara asked as she looked up at Sodam from where she sat, trying to hide a smile. Sodam blinked twice but then smiled back, almost eager.

“Oh yeah. Very increased” Sodam laughed, eyes mischievous, and Donna put a hand over her mouth to hide a smile. Kyle tried to process this.

“Come on, let's leave them alone. I think Gar is starting a ping pong tournament upstairs and I want to see how bad this is gonna turn out” Nightwing said. “Oh, and Torchie I was asked if I could share your medical report so I brought it up for you to decide”.

“Oh yeah you can give it to Sora, I don’t mind. She’s a doctor” Kyle said. Nightwing handed the WayneTab to Sora while Donna squeezed Kyle’s knee before standing up, Sora taking her place and Tu taking Kara’s.

“If you guys need anything let us know” Donna said before the three of them left, closing the door behind them. Kyle opened his mouth to say something but Sora held a finger up as she stared at the door, so Kyle shut his mouth and waited. He glanced at Sodam, an eyebrow raised, but Sodam shrugged. Sora suddenly whirled on Kyle.

“You and Donna” Sora said with a grin and Kyle started stuttering. “You like her”.

“What? Like- I mean- what?” Kyle sputtered, and Tu made a trilling noise that Kyle knew was a laugh while Sodam grinned. “Why are we talking about me? We should be talking about whatever the fuck Sodam and Kara just did”!

“We’ll get there-”

“We’ll what ”?!

“But we’re here for you first and foremost” Sora teased, looking down at the tablet in her hands. “Ring, translate”.

Kyle couldn’t hear what her ring was translating, so she probably had her ring on silent. He took off his hat, relieved to be able to have it off of him and the injuries on his face, but to also not be alone. Sodam winced.

“Ouch” he sympathized and Sora glanced up, humming in agreement before continuing to look at the report.

“Have you asked her out yet?” Sora asked and Kyle groaned. He thought they were done with the topic.

“I think that's a no,” Tu noted. “Why not? She’s clearly interested in you”.

“Where’s your willpower Torchie?” Sodam teased, floating in the air next to Kyle’s bed as if he was sitting in a chair.

“I- it’s just- I don’t know” Kyle said honestly. “She’s just- she's great! She’s perfect , but I-”.

He shrugged, gesturing uselessly with his hands. Tu stared at him for a moment.

“Stop punishing yourself. You’re allowed to be happy you know” Tu said and Kyle almost winced, knowing exactly which conversation he was referring to.

“Maybe? But am I allowed to move on?” Kyle asked. “Alex never got to”.

He didn’t know if his pain over what happened to Alex, how he led her to her death, would ever go away. He still had nightmares about opening that fridge door, just seeing her in there, gone . He would never be the same, he could still barely step inside of his kitchen without freaking out, much less cook a meal or open his fridge. Even his eating patterns had changed. And Alex- she was perfect. She didn’t deserve to die, it should’ve been him in that fridge.

She would’ve made a much better Green lantern than he ever would be.

“Did she love you”? Kyle’s head snapped up and his eyes met Sodam’s.

“What?” Kyle asked, his brain not working.

“Alex” Sodam replied, saying her name delicately. “Did she love you”?

“I- yes” Kyle said, thinking about the good times they had together, “She did”.

“Then wouldn’t she want you to be happy?” Sodam asked, and it sounded like a genuine question, not something he was just pointing out. “I want the people I care about to be happy, and if she loved you- wouldn’t she want the same? More”?

Kyle just sat there for a minute, Tu and Sodam staring into his soul. Sora was still looking through his medical report, but he could tell that she was still giving him her full attention and just not being as obvious about it as the other two. He knew Alex would want him to be happy, gosh he could hear her say it, but she always wanted better for him than he deserved.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you guys are here, but what are you doing here?” Kyle asked, changing the topic because he couldn’t keep thinking about Alex. Not right now. They looked at him in surprise.

“You didn’t know we were coming?” Tu asked, not questioning the topic change, and Kyle shook his head. He didn’t expect that to be why they were surprised. “Hal contacted us and told us you were injured on a mission. We told him we wanted to see you, and he contacted Nightwing and directed us here. Did he not tell you”?

“Oh. Um, Hal and I aren’t talking” Kyle told them, actually feeling so dumb admitting it to them.

“What happened?” Sora asked, obviously giving Kyle her full attention by looking up from the Waynetab. Kyle glanced towards the door again before sighing.

“Hal told two people about what happened to me during the war with the yellows,” Kyle told them. They looked upset, so Kyle quickly continued. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it, and he told people that I know he trusts. To be honest, I’m not even mad about it. I just- I wish that he would’ve told me he messed up. I could’ve been prepared, but instead I felt so stupid when Wally just-”.

Kyle gestured with his good hand. Damn he sucked at words today.

“When did this happen?” Sodam asked.

“Recently on a mission that went wrong. Then after I asked Hal about it, and he apologized and the others started getting upset, and I guess John separated us? I don’t even know, I wasn’t all there. To be honest I’m still not all here. That whole mission was so physically and emotionally draining that I’m still recovering. Like-” Kyle explained before telling them about the whole mission, mainly about what happened to him.

“Nothing that happened to you with the Sinestro Corp was your fault” Sodam said and Kyle sighed.

“I know”.

“Are you worried about what he said about Hal not caring about you?” Sora asked and Kyle couldn’t help but wince as his face got hot. She hit the nail on the head. 

“Torchie, Hal does care about you. You should have seen him and your fellow Earthmen during the war. They did everything they could to get you back, they defended you to the Lost Lanterns, and that was before Hal even knew you. Now that he does, wouldn’t he care more about you” Tu said and Kyle looked away from them.

“You have people who care about you, Torchie, and that includes Hal. The Earthmen, us, these Titans” Sora said gesturing to the T shaped building they were in before gently taking Kyle’s hand. “You’re not going to be alone again if that’s what’s bothering you. You’re not going to mess up and alienate everyone who cares about you. Hal doesn’t hate you just because you got rightfully upset about him telling someone about something you wanted to keep private”.

Of course she knew, of course they all knew. He had told them about it and what he had tried to do when Sodam had opened up about Daxam and how he didn’t want to go back.

“I- yeah” Kyle said, their words spinning around in his head. “Sorry guys, I guess I’m just not used to it after everything that’s happened”.

It was hard to believe that all these horrible things that had happened to him happened in less than 6 months. It made him feel a little better about how he was feeling, but he hoped he wouldn’t feel like this forever.

“No apologizing, we know it’s been a weird couple of months. Now, lay back,” Sora said. “I want to look over your injuries”.

Kyle did as she asked while Sodam and Tu moved out of the way. Sora pulled his shirt out of the way to uncover his bandaged stab wound and used her ring to make a construct of a machine that Kyle wasn’t even going to try to describe.

“Do you think my hand will heal fine? Like, I know it's not bad but- you know, I’m an artist” Kyle said. He really didn't wanna think about how this could not only ruin his career, but something he loved.

“Take good care of it and don’t strain it, and you should be fine. The healing process is going to be kind of long though. But if you want when you're feeling a bit better, you can come to Korugar and I can see if I can help out” Sora told him. “You probably won’t even scar”.

“Oh we’ll come too,” Sodam said excitedly. “I want to see Korugar. I’ve already seen Xudar and Earth”!

“Four Green Lanterns on Korugar?” Kyle asked skeptically, wincing when Sora put some light pressure on his wound. Korugar has hated Green Lanterns since what Sinestro did to them during his time as a Green Lantern. Sora had told them all about it.

“Yeah they like me or whatever now” Sora said dismissively. She clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so Kyle wouldn’t push. For now. “We’ll be fine”.

“It’ll be fun. Like our first trip to Mogo” Tu said.

“Oh! Or like that concert we went to the first time we snuck off of Oa” Sodam said excitedly and Kyle couldn’t help but laugh. Everything had seemed so dark before Sodam had asked Kyle to come with them to that concert, but it had changed everything for Kyle. He had almost died that day, his loneliness and pain almost consuming him, but they never left him alone since.

They were good friends.

‘Thanks guys” Kyle said softly.

“Of course Torchie ” Tu teased, and Kyle couldn’t stop himself.

“Kyle,” he said. They looked confused, even Sora glancing up from where she was doing something to his injured hand.

“What does that mean?” Sodam asked, “The ring didn’t translate it”.

“It’s my name,” Kyle said, feeling a little more sure of himself. “My name is Kyle Rayner”.

They looked shocked, and Sodam was the first one to unfreeze. He grinned, eyes lighting up in excitement as he laughed in delight.

“Kyle Rayner. Torchbearer Rayner?” he asked, testing out the name. Kyle nodded, realizing that he’s never got to use his proper title since no one knew his name. 

Honor Lantern Jordan, Honor Lantern Stewart, Honor Lantern Gardner, Lantern Baz, Lantern Cruz, and Torchbearer Rayner.

“Kyle. Huh. I was hoping you’d have a name that would match Tu’s since Sodam and I have similar names” Sora joked. “Speaking of Sodam, what was that with Kara”?

“Wait, please-!”

Chapter Text

November, -xxx1

There was nothing KYLE could really do but stay strong.

Sinestro had taken Ion from him and Kyle had given Hal his ring back when Hal had been reinstated as a Green Lantern, so Kyle really had no way to fight his way out, and that was if he was even able to get out of the hold several “yellow lanterns” had him in. And even then, it was like several thousand to one.

He wondered if the Corps was looking for him. Or did they just decide to memorialize him and move on with their lives, deeming him a lost cause. There were few people in the corps that cared for Kyle as a person, with most just seeing him as “The Torchbearer”, a symbol that the Corps continues even after being basically annihilated.

A hand grabbed his face, and he was forced to look into Sinestro’s eyes.

“Has his willpower been broken yet?” A “Yellow Lantern” asked. Sinestro analyzed him and Kyle tried to ignore the bruises and burns he felt all over his body. He had no protection against anything, not having worn clothes underneath the Ion suit. In his defense, he hadn’t been back on Earth to do laundry because there was no one to go back to anymore now that his mam was gone. At least the dripping of water at uneven intervals had stopped.

“No,” Sinestro said, sounding a bit surprised. “But we’re close”.

Kyle said nothing, and he braced himself again when he heard the chains rattle behind him. He didn’t know why Sinestro was doing this to him. No one was interrogating him and he didn’t have a history with Sinestro like the first three Earth Lanterns did, but maybe being from Earth was enough. Or did Sinestro want to use him for ransom? The Guardians weren’t going to give him anything for Kyle of all people, but maybe Sinestro thought they were going to because he was the Torchbearer?

“No need for that” Sinestro said and the chains were dropped, but Kyle didn’t let himself relax. “Afraid yet Alley Rat? We both know you don’t possess the willpower of even the weakest member of your Corps”.

“I’m not afraid of you” Kyle said, and it was true. If Sinestro wanted to kill him Kyle didn’t care, the Corps would stop him and they didn’t need Kyle to do it. Kyle didn’t really mean anything in the grand scheme of things, and his sector already had five other Green Lanterns so they wouldn’t even need to find a replacement for him.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me ,” Sinestro said, a barely concealed smirk on his face. “Were you afraid when your girlfriend was folded into a refrigerator? That she died because she was connected to you? That you failed to save her”?

Kyle didn’t know how Sinestro knew about Alex, and while that worried him it didn’t scare him. He knew that Alex’s death was his fault, and he knew he would never pay for his fault in that, but maybe his death here would almost be enough. There was suddenly a sour taste in the air, and it being harder to breathe was not because of the weird tentacle thing around his neck. What was happening?

“And your mother died recently” Sinestro continued and Kyle couldn’t help but freeze. Unfortunately, Sinestro noticed. “She succumbed to her illness, but that wasn’t your fault. It couldn’t have been, your planet's medicine is just so primitive that they couldn’t save her”.

Kyle didn’t like where this was going.

“I want you to meet someone. This is Despotellis” Sinestro said and a tiny yellow light appeared before Kyle, right up close to his eye. It was so tiny he could barely see it, but it looked like a tiny bug octopus thing. “He’s a living virus that’s taken the lives of billions of people all across the universe. Including that cow that spawned you”.

“No” Kyle breathed out. “You did this? You killed her? I’m gonna kill you ”!

Sinestro laughed and Kyle’s eyes stung as he wrestled to get out of the arms and tentacles that held him still. His body was on fire, pulsing with anger. If he could only get his hands around Sinestro's neck -!

“No you won’t. Green Lanterns don’t kill, especially you ” Sinestro said in disdain and thousands of laughs echoed around him. When it died down, Sinestro spoke again. “But I didn’t kill your mother. You did”.

Kykle shook his head, more for his own sake.

“ You did ,” Sinestro repeated, getting closer to Kyle but finally letting go of his face. “Your girlfriend died because of you, and now your mother has joined her because you couldn’t protect them. You took up that ring, and what good have you done with it? Everyone around you, everyone that gets close to you, they die . You’re a curse Alley Rat, a festering plague that destroys everything it touches. Who is next? Who else will die because of you? All because you chose to dedicate yourself to a group that has zero interest in you or your well being, much less the well being of innocents. You sacrificed and lost everything for nothing. You have nothing ”.

Kyle choked out a sob, his body sagging against their hold. It was true, he gave himself to the Corps and lost everything. Alex and his mam died because he wasn’t strong enough, and now he was all alone. Everyone who got close to him suffered, died . He destroyed everything and everyone who came into contact with him. He killed his own mother.

The sour taste in the air was starting to choke him and he couldn’t breath.

“Do you feel that? The fear? That is the true power in the universe, Alley Rat” Sinestro said before floating back. “He’s ready now”.

He was spun around, and he weakly looked up to see- oh, he’s felt that power before. The big glowing yellow bug, that was Parallax . He was going to be killed by the reason he had the ring in the first place. A fitting death really. It pulled him in, his feeling of panic becoming terror as he got closer, but he wasn’t strong enough to fight it. He was never strong enough for anything. 

“Despite your weakness, you’ll make a wonderful host for Parallax”.

No ! No, he couldn’t keep destroying people, he couldn’t continue to be a curse on the people he cared about. He couldn’t let Sinestro use him like that.

“ Stay the hell away from m -!” But it was too late. Terror enveloped and consumed him, and all he knew was fear.

-

December 31st, -xxx1

KYLE spent the entire next morning with Donna. Everyone else was getting things ready for the New Years party, but Kyle didn’t have to help because he was injured and Donna was chosen to stay with him. They spent the morning just talking, and it felt really good just laying next to her and laughing. He had been doing so much all the time since he had become Green Lantern, and ever since he restored Oa he's just been nonstop. Just doing nothing felt good,

Honestly just being near Donna felt good,

Right now she was helping him change his bandages while she talked about her childhood with the Titans. She was smiling softly as she spoke, looking so fond. She touched him so gently, she treated him with so much care, that it almost felt wrong. Like he didn’t deserve it. But- she always tried to make him feel included.

“We always had such a good time” she told him, carefully finishing bandaging his stab wound. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet us at a better time Torchie, we’re usually not this- well we’re always messy, but we’re usually not this broken. And I wish that didn’t have to affect you”.

“It’s okay, really,” Kyle said. “Honestly, even though it kinda sucked at first, I don’t regret meeting you or any of the Titans really”.

He meant it. He honestly was really fond of the Titans now. Ever since he had come back they had done a lot to make him feel comfortable, like he belonged, and with everything that had happened to him recently he appreciated that. They were taking really good care of him while he was injured, Titans A doing the brunt of it but Titans B and what was left of Titans West checking in on him. He had played video games with Titans West the day before, listened to Kori tell stories about Tameran, and watched Roy surprisingly decimate at ping pong “in Torchie’s honor”. Yeah things were weird with Wally at the moment, but he really did feel good being with the Titans.

When he had become Green Lantern- no. After Alex died , Kyle thought he would never fit in anywhere, that he would always be alone and an outcast. On Oa, he had felt like nothing but a symbol that would always be praised, but that no one really cared about. But then Sodam had invited him to that concert, and Kyle had found a place within the Corps with Sodam, Sora, and Tu. He had the time of his life sneaking out and going on adventures with them, getting drunk and finding new places to go. He thought that would be over after what happened with Parallax, but they didn’t leave him. And Kyle had gained the other Earth Lanterns, who helped him bandage his wounds, coached him through panic attacks, helped him get resettled and move back into his apartment, invited him to hangout with them without needing to, stayed with him when he was injured-

His mom had died and he thought he had no family, but they had become his family.

And now he had the Titans treating him like he was one of their own even though he was part of the League, their current enemy. They helped take care of him, they let his friends that they had never met before come see him, and- well he felt welcome and safe. He trusted them.

Kyle didn’t know if it was stupid or not.

“The Titans are happy to have you” Donna said with a smile as she helped him sit up slowly, looking away so she wouldn’t accidentally see his face.

“You included?” he joked when he was sitting up all the way. Her eyes softened when she looked back at him.

“Especially me” she said softly and Kyle’s heart fluttered. She took his injured hand gently and put it on the table nearby so she could work on it. She undid his bandages carefully, her hands warm against his, and she cleaned his wound gently. Kyle wanted to say something, say anything, but his heart was pounding in his ears. It was a bad idea, he shouldn’t- but maybe-

He winced at a sting of pain, and she was quick to apologize. She reached for new bandages and blinked in confusion when she grabbed at nothing.

“Let me grab some more bandages” Donna said, getting up and turning her back to him to rifle through cabinets.

His heart was pounding. God, this was terrifying. He was so happy, he didn’t want to ruin everything but- what was the harm? This was so stupid, he was so stupid, why was he second guessing himself? Why was he worrying, he should just- no he shouldn’t-

“The organization for the infirmary is terrible, I need to fix this. Or well, have someone else do it? Maybe-” she stopped abruptly when she turned to look at him, her eyes wide and the box of bandages dropping from her hand. Kyle didn’t even look down, barely registered that it hit the ground. He just stared at her, hat clutched in his good hand.

“Um” he started, feeling so vulnerable. “ Hi ”.

“ Hi ” she breathed, leaning down to pick up the box of bandages but not breaking eye contact with him.

Maybe it was stupid to show his face to her, maybe he was once again jumping into things before thinking and everything would fall apart in the next day or two. But there was no going back now, she was seeing his face, truly looking him in the eye for the first time. She sat down in the same spot, gently taking his injured hand again and bandaging it.

He tried to remind himself that Donna was strong, that this wouldn’t be like with Alex or his mam. Donna could defend herself, he didn't have to worry about her. It was fi-

“You have your mom’s eyes, they’re gorgeous” Donna said softly, as if she was afraid of breaking something. She paused for a second before continuing. “You’re gorgeous”.

“I- thank you” he stammered, feeling his face get hot. “You’d know beauty right? I mean you see yourself in the mirror everyday- uh I mean- that was dumb! I was trying to say you’re beautiful”!

She laughed, light and genuine, laughing with him not at him. She finished up his hand and gently cupped his face in her hands and he shivered at her touch despite the fact she was warm. She was very, very close to his face, their noses almost touching.

“Can I change the bandages on your face?” she asked him, her thumb sliding back and forth over his right cheek.

“Mmhmmm” he hummed in agreement, not trusting himself to open his mouth after realizing he was gonna say please of all things. He was so stupid, but she was so kind, and beautiful, and strong and perfect .

She was probably even more gentle with his face, taking off the bandages and examining him for a second. Her blue eyes roamed over his face, taking it all in, and he felt a bit self conscious. He wished he didn’t have the cuts in his face, but that melted away when she smiled at him, something soft in her expression. It stung when she cleaned the cuts, and when she put new bandages on she took the opportunity to trace his eyebrows and cheekbones almost in wonder. Soon his face was once again cupped in her hands.

“Thank you for trusting me” she said, and Kyle realized that they were super close again. “I know that it couldn’t have been easy for you to share”.

“I didn't really think about it. I mean, I debated it, but the hat was off before I even realized” Kyle admitted. “I guess you just make things easier”.

It was easy to be brave with her. It was almost like she gave him willpower.

She hummed in agreement, a small smile tugging on her lips. Their foreheads were now touching, and he swore that if he moved even slightly, their lips would be touching. He didn’t know why he was so intimidated-

“Donna? Torchie”?

They separated quickly, Kyle pulling his hat back on like five seconds before Garth entered the infirmary.

“Hey guys” Garth greeted. Kyle resisted the urge to sigh deeply or throw a chair. So close. So. Close. “Bird needs your help Donna. Told me to come down here and switch with you. Good luck in the war zone”.

“Yeah sure,” Donna said. She looked annoyed and Garth smirked, but Kyle didn’t understand their telepathy. “Let me help Torchie back into the wheelchair and then I’ll go”.

She did as she said she would before telling Kyle she would see him later with a lingering hand on his shoulder, and Kyle was left with Garth. Kyle took a second to think about what just happened.

He showed Donna his face, and then they almost kissed . Kyle knew that he really liked her, but was it too soon after Alex? It had been 5 months since she died. But- he remembered his conversation with Tu, Sodam, and Sora about happiness. Alex- she wouldn’t want him to isolate himself forever, she would want him to move on. He wouldn’t want her to get hung up on him if he was the one who had died first. He want her to move on and find love and-

He would want her to be happy. 

He would just go with the flow then. If it happened, it happened.

Instead of taking Kyle back to Titans A’s floor, Garth pulled a chair in front of Kyle and sat down with a smile. Oh no, they were gonna talk .

“I think you know where this is going” Garth said and Kyle nodded. “I just wanted to say that I'm not gonna tell anyone, and I don't see you any differently”.

“You don’t- see me any differently?” Kyle asked, not expecting him to say that. Garth nodded.

“Yeah. What happened doesn’t make you ‘bad’ or any less strong or whatever. If anything, it proves you are strong” Garth said and Kyle scoffed. 

“Well it’s not like I was able to save myself. The others got me out of it” Kyle said bitterly without meaning to. Garth looked at him like he was dumb.

“But you still went through it, someone else helping you doesn’t change that. And you decided to keep going instead of letting it stop you. That’s pretty strong” Garth pointed out and Kyle just kind of stared at him. He didn’t feel very strong but- it kind of made sense. And Garth looked so honest about it, giving Kyle a soft smile. “Come on, let’s do something fun. It’s New Year's Eve, we can’t be sad going into the New Year”.

Kyle hung out with Garth for a bit and it was actually really nice. Garth was really easy to talk to, and Kyle got to learn a lot about Atlantis while teaching Garth some things about space. Eventually Kyle decided to take a nap. He was getting tired pretty easily lately due to his injuries, and if he wanted to stay up to greet the New Year he needed to rest. It was a really good nap, such a good nap that when someone shook him awake he had no idea where he was.

“ Wha ” Kyle asked like the intellectual he was, blinking as he adjusted to the light that was now on in the room.

“Sorry Torchie” Kyle heard Roy say. He glanced up in alarm to see Roy’s hand on his shoulder but Roy was looking away. Kyle quickly put his hat on. “Party’s started, but you don’t have to come if you’d rather sleep”.

“You can look, hats on” Kyle said and Roy slowly turned towards him. “Sorry, I didn't think I would sleep this long. Let me change and I’ll be there”.

“Alright I’ll wait for you outside. Take your time, Kori wants my help with something but I don’t wanna do it” Roy said before closing the door behind him. Kyle snickered.

He changed into jeans despite the fact that he’d rather wear sweatpants and be comfortable. But like, he had to look kind of nice right? He put on an old Green Day shirt he had so he could have some form of comfort and a green jacket that Jess (who was wonderful and amazing and his favorite) had put in his bag. He made sure his hat was on right before slowly walking out of his room.

He could walk fine, he just had to do it slowly and it was a bit painful. The wheelchair was just used so he can move around faster, but today he wanted to try to walk around a bit. He loved that they were helping him out, he was really grateful, but he wanted to have a bit of independence. Just a bit.

“I’m gonna try to walk a bit” Kyle told Roy when he left his room. Roy nodded, silently but subtly offering his arm and Kyle- he took it. He didn’t want to fall on his face.

Roy walked at his pace, not complaining about it once. Instead he complained about something that was wrong with his bow, and even though Kyle had no idea what he was talking about, he nodded along. They got to the top floor, and Kyle once again saw a table of alcohol and color coded cups.

Everyone was sitting on the couch or on the floor doing some kind of craft, cutting and glueing things. They were chatting happily, and there was music playing at a decent volume. The only one not doing crafts was Garth, who was sitting in the coffee table tank thingy and chatting with Karen.

“Look who’s here” Roy called and everyone turned, cheering when they saw him.

“Sorry I was taking a nap. Didn’t think I would sleep so long” Kyle said as Roy helped him to the couch, and he used Roy to gently lower himself down. “It was a really good nap”.

“I can tell,” Donna said as she stood up and made her way over. She was wearing jeans and a purple sweater. “You have sleep marks on your cheek, Torchie”.

He suddenly realized that he never told her his name. She put her hand on his cheek and his skin buzzed with electricity where she made contact. All thoughts left his head and-

“Kyle”.

Donna froze, eyes wide.

“What?” She asked, and now everyone in the room was looking at him, even the music was turned down. Kyle cleared his throat.

“Uh. My name is Kyle” he told them, pulling off his hat. “Kyle Rayner”.

Everyone just stared at him, and Kyle felt so uncomfortable.

“Your name is Kyle?” Wally asked, looking shocked. Then he put on a thoughtful face. “You know what, that makes sense. You act like a Kyle”.

“I- wait what’s that supposed to mean” Kyle asked as Donna laughed, sitting next to him.

“Wait, are we the first people you’ve told” Nightwing asked from where he laid on his stomach on the floor next to Kori, and Kyle nodded. First ones on Earth , but they didn’t need to know that. And he didn’t want to think about Batman knowing, that was- he didn’t like what that meant. “Yes! We have a one up on the League”!

Everyone cheered again and Kyle couldn’t help but laugh. He felt kind of bad not telling his fellow Lanterns before he told the Titans, but he just happened to be with the Titans right now.

Man he really needed to talk to Hal.

“Okay Kyle ” Kara said, almost as if she was testing out his name. “Anything to drink”?

“Nothing alcoholic,” Kyle said. “I’m on meds and I need them if I want to survive”.

The pain wasn’t unbearable like the pain he felt because of the sword's magic, but he really didn’t want to be in pain at all so he took his meds religiously. Kara came back with a Red Bull, and surprisingly some food and his meds. 

“To make sure you make it to midnight,” Kara said, handing him the Red Bull. “And because you didn’t eat and you need to take your meds”.

“Thanks Kara,” Kyle said before he started eating. He didn’t even realize he hadn’t eaten, but he did feel a bit hungry, which was surprising since he didn’t tend to feel hungry a lot anymore. He was given a blanket and he toed off his shoes so he could curl up properly on the couch under it.

Everyone continued what Kyle realized were vision boards and shared some of their goals or wishes for the next year. M’gann talked about trying new things she had yet to experience on Earth, Kara said she wanted to spend more time on Earth with her loved ones and less in space, and Wally mentioned wanting a better balance between school and other aspects of his life without having to use his powers. Nobody seemed to be getting drunk, but he didn’t know if their Christmas party just tended to be more wild or they had learned their lesson from Christmas.

He sure had.

“What about you T- Kyle” Karen corrected herself as she finished her vision boards. “Any goals or plans”.

Kyle thought about it for a moment before answering.

“I wanna learn to defend myself without the ring” Kyle decided after taking a sip of his Red Bull. He had already taken his meds. “Can’t always rely on the ring. I learned a bit on Oa, Lantern boot camp or whatever, but I definitely need more practice”.

It was an unfortunate lesson to learn, but during the war with the yellows and the last mission he had with Titans A, he had had Ion taken from him and his ring “powered down”. He needed to be able to keep himself and others safe without the ring.

“That’s a good one” M’gann cheered.

“We can help you out if you want,” Nightwing offered, and several people nodded. “We have plenty of practice fighting and teaching others how to fight”.

“Thanks, I’d appreciate it” Kyle said honestly. He didn’t know where to start, and he had seen Nightwing and Donna fight, so if they were helping him out he’d get the hang of it. Probably.

A hand grabbed his under the blanket, as he glanced over quickly before realizing it was Donna. She wasn’t looking at him, not even skipping a beat in her conversation with Kori when she squeezed his hand, so he played it cool too.

‘ Hi’ . Kyle jumped a bit, and Donna glanced over at him in concern. ‘ Sorry! Sorry! It’s me, it’s M’gann’!

“You okay?” Donna asked him. Roy and Kara looked up from where they sat in front of him on the floor.

“Yeah! Sorry l uh- I just moved my hand wrong” Kyle laughed awkwardly. Donna gave him a sad smile, and out of the corner of his eye he could see M’gann, Joey, and Jackson pointedly not looking at Kyle. They were actually staring very hard at one another if anything.

‘ Sorry again! I promise I’m not like in your head or anything. Like I can’t see anything in your head’ M’gann’s voice appeared in his head again as he settled back into the couch. He almost leaned on Donna, which would’ve been- nope not gonna think about that, M’gann was in his head. ‘Like I said. Not in your head. And we all know you like her, Joey actually thinks you should lean on her ’.

Kyle’s face burst into flames.

‘Anyways, the point of this was to tell you that Joey and Connor would be happy to teach you how to fight. Both are really good,’ M’gann said. ‘ We just didn’t want to bring up Connor because- you know’.

‘Yeah. Yeah I do,’ Kyle said (thought?). ‘ Thanks guys’.

He could feel M’gann cut the link. He wished he could do more for the Titans West situation but- wait a minute, yes he could. He wasn’t a Titan, but like they made him feel like he was one of them. He had to trust that they weren’t just gonna throw him out just because he disagreed with him.

He had to trust that everything wouldn’t fall apart the second he spoke up.

But right now wasn’t the time. But after the New Years? Yeah, they couldn’t really keep dancing around it. Connor was right, and Kyle kind of regretted not speaking up at that moment.

The night continued on, and Kyle was surprised that Donna didn’t let go of his hand and a little embarrassed about how happy that made him. He felt like a kid with their first crush, giddy and excited for even the smallest of things. The last time he felt like this was when he first met Alex, and it felt good to feel like that again. He would squeeze Donna’s hand and she would squeeze back and things just felt right .

It was getting close to midnight now, and the conversation turned to talks of traditions for midnight that he hadn’t even heard of before. Apparently in some places the color underwear you have on means what you want for the year. When the topic went to several people sharing their underwear color, Kyle decided to get up and get something for his throat.

“I’ll be back” he told Donna quietly, unfortunately having to let go of her hand. She nodded as he stood up slowly and walked towards the kitchen.

The top floor of Titans Tower was pretty much open concept besides the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a wall. Kyle could still hear them, but now he couldn't see them. He took a second in solitude, still not used to being around so many people constantly even though he had been with them for days. His plan had been to get a water bottle, and he turned to grab it but-

The fridge dammit!

He tore his gaze away from it, leaving heavily on the counter and reminding himself that she wasn’t in there, that was months ago. He couldn’t let himself spiral right now, not when things were going so well today. He took deep breaths, in and out, not liking how cold he was starting to feel.

“You okay”? Kyle jumped and looked over to see Donna next to him, gazing at him in concern. He nodded.

“Uh- yeah! I just- could you talk about something? Anything?” Kyle asked, not exactly meeting her eyes as he reached out and grabbed her hand. It was okay before, so it had to be okay now right? She wouldn’t mind that his were shaking right?

“Yeah. Have you ever seen-“ and she said the name of a popular cartoon without missing a beat. Kyle blinked, confused.

“Yeah,” Kyle said.

She then just started talking about it, easy conversation on what she thought about it. What she liked and what she didn’t like. Her voice was soothing, and it was easy just to concentrate on that instead of anything else.

“I like the art style too” Donna was saying. “I never really paid attention to that until I met you”.

“Really?” Kyle asked, feeling flattered. First music and now-

“I listen when you talk” she said and Kyle couldn’t help but laugh a little, because that felt good .

“Thanks Donna,” Kyle said softly. “I’m sorry about kinda freaking out”.

“You don’t have to apologize to me for that,” Donna said, squeezing his hand. “It happens, especially in our line of work”.

“I know I just- you already have so much on your plate with everything going on” Kyle said, finally looking at her again. “I don’t wanna add more to that”.

She looked surprised for a second and before it changed to what Kyle could describe as- flattered? Maybe? She pulled him into a hug and he was quick to wrap his arms around her.

“You’re sweet, but I don’t think me talking about a cartoon is gonna stress me out” she said into his shoulder. “But if you feel bad about it, I’ll just steal this hug from you”.

He buried his face in her hair and took a deep breath. Gosh, it felt way better than he wanted to admit, he really needed to be hugged more often. Donna was running a soothing hand up and down his back, and he had a hand on the back of her head holding her close. He wanted to stay like this forever.

“Thanks Donna,” Kyle said. “For everything. I don’t really know how I can make it up to you”.

She pulled back, and at first he thought he said something wrong, but she didn’t let go of him. They were once again standing nose to nose, but this time embracing one another. It’s the closest they’ve been, and he suddenly felt extremely intimidated.

“Kyle” she said softly, and he loved how she said his name. Whatever she was gonna say next was lost in the noise.

“10, 9, 8” came from the living room. The year was ending, but neither made a move to rejoin their friends. If anything, they got closer to one another if that were possible.

“7, 6, 5”!

He expected Garth to come in and ruin the moment. They were so close that Kyle didn’t understand how their lips weren’t touching. He kept his eyes on hers and tried not to tremble.

“4, 3, 2”!

Garth didn’t show up.

“1”!

Their lips met and the kiss was soft and tender, contrasting with the shouting in the next room. He felt metaphorical fireworks in the air, and he really never wanted to stop. He deepened the kiss and she followed, his hands around her waist and her arms around his neck.

Happy New Year indeed.

~

Jan 1st, xxx0

Donna woke up warm in the best way possible.

It’s been a while since she’s done this, woken up with arms around her, skin on skin. She turned a bit to look at Kyle, careful not to wake him since he was still asleep. He was lying on his back with his arms around her, while she was curled up on her side with her head against his chest, careful not to touch any of his injuries.

He was absolutely gorgeous, like a work of art. Black hair that fell into his eyes, and green eyes that contrasted with tanned skin that was mostly unmarred besides his injuries from the mission and a nasty scar on his upper inner though (which she didn’t really understand how he got). She had seen a lot of his body when they had all gone skinny dipping, but now she had seen everything .

She didn’t know how it happened, but she wasn’t complaining. The point was that she had somehow managed to get a guy who was not only absolutely gorgeous, but kind and strong to be interested in her. He was very different from people she had dated before, who had all sucked in one way or another. After everything that happened with Terry, she had basically given up, but now-

She didn’t know what she and Kyle were actually.

Would this be a one night stand, or go into something deeper? They kissed last night (this morning?), and they honestly had great chemistry for some time now, but that wouldn’t mean he wanted a committed relationship. Did she even want a committed relationship?

Well she wasn’t opposed to it-

Kyle’s eyes fluttered open, and he looked confused for a second before they locked eyes and he smiled at her.

“Good morning” he greeted softly, fondly. He looked tired, but in a cute way instead of a concerning one.

“Good morning” she greeted back, and he surprised her by kissing her softly on the forehead and pulling her closer. In her mind , that said he wanted more than just a one night stand, but in her experience that could mean nothing.

Gosh her old partners really did suck huh? She should really stop drawing comparisons between them and Kyle, but she really had nothing else to go off of.

“That was fun” he said and she couldn’t help but laugh, hiding her face in his chest.

“You’re such a dork. I love it” she told him and he made a happy noise of agreement. She tangled her legs with his before leaving a trail of kisses up his neck, along his jawline, and to his face. He made another content noise, his hands glided down her sides to-

A knock at the door made them both freeze.

They locked wide eyes, and it took Donna way too long to realize that she had to be the one to answer the door since they were in her room. She got up carefully, making sure she didn’t take the blanket with her since she didn’t want him to get cold. She dressed quickly, using the clothes they had left messily on the floor and a pair of shorts she had on her dresser, before sliding out of her room and closing the door quickly behind her.

Of course it was fucking Garth. He looked startled by the way she came out and raised an eyebrow.

“Hi Garth” Donna said, smiling genuinely because while he had horrible timing, she did love him.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything” he asked and Donna frowned.

“I was sleeping, Garth,” Donna told him, raising an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes.

“Donna I know you guys slept together, I heard you” Garth scoffed. He gestured to the other side of the floor where Roy, Wally, and Bird’s rooms were. “They might not have heard you, but we share a wall”.

“ Garth ,” Donna said in warning.

“I didn’t hear him though, you’re the loud one” he continued, as if he wasn’t in danger. “You know it’s about time, I- ahg ”!

Donna had him in a headlock now, easily bending him over and dragging him away from her door. Kyle didn’t need to hear this.

“Where’s the others?” Donna asked calmly, as if she wasn’t about to murder him.

“Breakfast! Er, bruch?! I was told to wake you and Kyle up to join us! But they don’t know you guys were- ow!” Garth yelped when she pulled him forward and he almost fell over. “Mercy, mercy! I won’t tell anyone”!

She released him and he backed away quickly, hands up. She studied him, and he gave her a nervous smile that made her sigh.

“Okay I won’t kill you” Donna said and they both laughed. His gaze softened and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“So. Are you two dating now?” Garth asked and Donna sighed, glancing at her door.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t really know. It’s something we still have to talk about” Donna explained. “But- I really like him, Garth”.

“You know,” Garth started “I really like him too, and I think you guys would be good together”.

“Is this you reminding me that all my other partners and Terry sucked?” Donna asked. Garth’s face darkened at Terry’s name.

“Yes” Garth said, no humor in his tone. “But like, T- Kyle is different from the people you’ve dated before. I don’t know why you always went for people like Terry, Donna”.

He was right, she knew he was right. She thinks other guys were always intimidated by her and her strength, always needing to show off their masculinity and how they were strong. But Kyle didn’t seem to care about any of that. He was fine with her carrying him, wore his heart on his sleeve, and didn’t try to “fight for dominance” to try to show he was strong. Instead she saw strength in his kindness, how he believed in people and didn’t give up. He shared his opinions, but didn’t need to be the loudest in the room to do so. He joined in instead of taking over. But-

“I know it’s stupid, but I don’t wanna date anyone that you guys don’t like,” Donna admitted. Her boys had never done that stupid over protective shovel talk thing, they knew she could easily protect herself. She didn’t have to worry about a protective brother routine, but it was important for her that they got along with her partner.

They never got along with any of her partners before, not that they showed it. They were nice like that, but looking back, she wishes they weren’t.

“We like him, Donna,” Garth reassured. “He’s basically a Titan now”.

“Wally” was all Donna said and Garth sighed.

“Donna, Wally above all wants you to be happy. They started to get along before the mission but- I can’t tell you what happened, it’s private. But they’ll get through it. If not, Wally loves you, he’ll act civil. And if Kyle l- if Kyle cares , he’ll do the same. Do what makes you happy, and as long as it’s not hurting you, we’re happy when you’re happy” Garth said. Donna pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks Garth” she said into his shoulder.

“Always Donna” he said before pulling back and letting go. “Nice shirt by the way”.

She looked down and realized she was wearing Kyle’s shirt from last night. A Green Day shirt. She looked up to see Garth frantically pressing the call elevator button and rolled her eyes. This was such Roy behavior.

“ Byeseeyouguysatbrunch ” Garth said as he jumped into the elevator and frantically pressed the close button. Donna slipped back into her room to see Kyle still in bed, he gave her a sleepy smile when he saw her.

“Hey, we under attack? I heard screaming” he joked and Donna laughed softly.

“No that was Garth being Garth” she said fondly. He shook his head.

“It's always Garth,” he sighed, but she could see he was trying not to laugh.

“They're having brunch, and he was sent to get us,” Donna said, sitting in the bed next to him. Kyle’s eyes widened, so she quickly continued. “Yes, he knows. No, he won't tell. He was just teasing me about it, said he heard me but not you. Does that bother you that he knows”?

They couldn’t really have a conversation about everything right now, but she did want to gauge his feelings on the whole thing and what he was comfortable with.

“I don’t mind if you don’t” Kyle said, starting to sit up with a wince. She offered a hand and he used it to pull himself up. “He’s kept other secrets about me so far. Though, I don’t think we should say anything yet”.

The way he glanced at her told her he was also testing the waters, so she leaned over and kissed him on the lips, and she felt him smile. Oh yeah, she liked where this was going.

“Come on, let’s get ready for brunch before they send someone else for us,” she said when they separated.

He got up and she watched him as he pulled his underwear back on before she took his shirt off and threw it to him. He grabbed his jeans, and his socks and shoes before making his way over to her nightstand to grab his ring sheepishly.

“I’m gonna go get changed into something comfier and we can meet by the elevator” Kyle said and she answered him in the affirmative. She watched him peak his head out the door to make sure the coast was clear before he left.

The second she was alone she put her hand over her mouth because she really did that. She actually slept with Kyle, and now she might be pursuing a relationship with him.

This New Year was off to a great start.

She did her morning things quickly before throwing on a shirt since she already was wearing shorts. Kyle was already by the elevator when she got there, greeting her with a smile before they got in the elevator.

“I hope they’re done cooking,” Donna said. “I don’t wanna help”.

“I hope they aren't,” Kyle said. “I want them to realize to never ask me to help in the kitchen if they want the food to be edible”.

They both laughed as the elevator opened.

They went to the dining room where the others were just finishing setting up. The dining room had one big long table with 20 spots. There weren’t any assigned seats, but everyone usually sat in the same spot, with Donna’s actually being at the head of the table. It unfortunately meant that Donna couldn’t sit next to Kyle but honestly, that wasn’t a big deal since it was just one meal.

Kyle sat down next to Joey almost at the other end of the table, which was usually Connor’s seat, while Donna took her seat. Hopefully he ate a bit more today. He was skinnier than he had been before he left and she noticed he didn’t really eat a lot in general. He had actually been a bit skinny before he left too. Maybe she should ask him about it?

“Late” Roy said, not looking up from serving himself.

“Am I not allowed to sleep in?” Donna asked as she grabbed a plate.

“Well- you are. He’s not” Roy said, pointing at Kyle. Donna could once again tell it wasn’t anything serious.

“I’m injured. What’s your excuse” Kyle shot back playfully, grabbing a plate that Joey gave him and served himself some food. Donna saw Garth roll his eyes.

Breakfast was great. Everyone had fun, the food was good, the banter was nonstop. But-

It felt a little fake.

Donna knows that Titans A specifically had problems, Connor left because of those problems, and those problems were affecting all of them now. They had spent too long pretending there was nothing wrong, and Donna had said she would fix it after the case and the case was basically over.

They couldn’t keep dancing around it, today was the day. They could have a meeting after brunch. They were due for a debrief on what they had gotten on the mission anyways, Bird not having shared any of his findings yet-

An alarm went off and suddenly everyone was alert.

“Vic” Bird said and Vic used a computer on his arm to check the system. Vic’s face went from suspicious to shocked to grim, and Donna knew that this was gonna be bad.

“Nightwing, Slade is on the roof”.

Chapter Text

August 27th, -xxx1

The apartment was dark when Kyle got back. It was weird, but maybe that was part of the surprise?

He couldn’t help but feel excited as he looked around, but he didn’t see Alex. She wasn’t in her room or the bathroom- maybe she went out? It was then he saw the note on the table. He opened it.

Surprise for you in the Fridge

Love, A

The handwriting looked weird, but maybe she was in a rush. Kyle put the note down and went towards her fridge. He didn’t think she would have had time to make something, but she wouldn’t have had time to get something either? And where was she anyways? If the surprise was already in the fridge, then she couldn’t be out, there was no reason for her to be. But she definitely wasn’t in the apartment, he looked everywhere. He opened the fridge-

“Oh, God”!

He couldn’t breathe, falling to his knees with a noise he didn’t even know he could make. She was gone, she- she was just stuffed in there , her eyes hollow and lifeless. He wasn’t gone that long he- he let out another strangled cry, letting go of the fridge door to cover his mouth with his hands when he was hit with a strong wave of nausea. The door opened more and Alex tumbled out and onto him. Trembling, he shifted her in his arms and held her, rocking her back and forth gently as he sobbed.

“Please” he begged. “Please! I'm sorry, please don’t, please ”!

He gently put a hand on her cheek, putting their foreheads together as he sobbed. He should’ve brought her with him, he should’ve tried to persuade her to take those pictures. He kissed her forehead, smoothing back her hair.

“I’m so sorry , please don’t go! Don’t leave me- me alone like this please!” he begged her. But she wasn’t coming back. She was gone and it was all because of him. “I’ll do anything please! I- please , I can’t do this without you! Don’t leave me alone ”!

He wailed, burying his face in her hair while his body wracked with sobs, pleading with her to come back as if she could . It wasn’t fair! It should’ve been him! It should’ve been him dammit ! He was the one with the stupid ring; he was the one who roped her into thi-!

“Shame, isn’t it?”

-

DICK doesn’t think he’s ever changed into his suit so fast in his life.

He walked up stairs to the roof with Donna, Wally, and Kara. He had everyone else downstairs on standby if he needed them, but to take care of their injured until then.

“Be ready guys” Dick said softly at the top. “Slade is not to be underestimated”.

And with everything that happened recently, this could be another attack. But M’gann didn’t sense any telepathic activity and Slade really did seem to be by himself. Still, they couldn’t dismiss this as something not connected to the case. Psimon and Savage had gotten away, and they still had nothing to pin Luthor to the case.

Dick glanced at Kara.

“Supergirl, stay here as our first line of defense if something goes south and listen in” Dick directed and she nodded. If Slade was working with Lex, then he could have something that could hurt Kryptonians. Dick wanted to avoid anyone else getting hurt.

Kara nodded, and Dick led Wally and Donna up to the roof.

Slade was standing near the edge of the roof without his mask on. He wore a blank expression on his face and eyed the escrima sticks in Dick’s hands with annoyance. Slade put his hands in the air to show they were empty.

“No need for weapons,” Slade said. “I didn’t come to fight”.

“Sure” Dick said, not dropping his weapons. “Then why are you here”?

“I want to talk to Joey-” Slade started and Dick cut him off with a laugh.

“Absolutely not,” Dick told him. “Leave”.

“Not even if I were to give you information on your case?” Slade asked, his face not changing. “I have connections in the Legion of Doom. I could get all of your questions answered”.

Dick- he paused. He didn’t trust Slade, not at all, but the information that Dick had gotten from Schott’s computer had been a dead end. Dick had no idea where he could get more information, he was all out of leads, and he couldn’t wait for someone else to get hurt just to get another lead. But what if this was also a trap? What if Slade took Joey, or someone else got hurt? Dick didn’t want to risk anyone else’s safety.

How did Slade even know about the case?

“It’s simple really Nightwing” Slade said and Dick glared at him. “You give me just 15 minutes with Joey, and I’ll find out all of the information for you. No one else has to get hurt”.

Dick hesitated. He hated how well Slade knew him, but he couldn’t help but remember how sick he felt when he couldn’t find Garth, Wally, and Kyle, how horrible it was seeing them so injured in the Hall of Justice and hearing the screams. He was the leader, it was his job to protect his people. He had to protect them like he couldn’t protect-

“You have to keep them safe Big Wing” Jason said softly over comms. “That's the priority. You can’t lose someone else, you know what decision you have to make”.

Yeah. Yeah he knew what he had to do.

‘M’gann. I know you're listening ’. A beat of silence and then-

‘ Nightwing, I don’t know if this is a good idea ’ M’gann told him and Dick sighed.

‘ Ask Joey if he’ll do it . 15 minutes’ .

‘Nightwing -’!

‘ Do it Miss Martian’ Dick ordered. He could feel her uneasiness.

‘ He’ll do it. I’ll send him up ’. Dick nodded.

“15 minutes, and you don’t leave my sight,” Dick said and Slade nodded, looking satisfied. Troia and Flash whirled on him in surprise.

“Nightwing, you can’t be serious,” Troia said, grabbing him by the upper arm, but Dick yanked it away. “Listen to me, you-”!

“I’m keeping everyone safe” he whispered back angrily. She looked offended.

“By sacrificing Jericho?” Troia asked, appalled. Flash looked shocked, eyes darting between Dick and Troia.

“Nightwing, just think about this” Flash tried but Joey was already there. Dick could see Supergirl looking at him like he was insane before the door closed. It was fine, he knew what he was doing. Dick took Joey by the shoulders and walked with him towards Slade.

“15 minutes” Dick said dangerously. “And don’t leave this rooftop”.

He backed away a little, and the next 15 minutes was filled with silence as Joey and Slade talked a couple of feet away. Next to him, Flash and Troia were tense and ready to spring into action if needed. Dick didn’t even need to call out when the 15 minutes were over, Slade just directed Joey to walk back over to him. The second he was close enough, Troia pulled Joey behind her and towards the door the roof access so he could leave.

“I’ll be in touch” was all Slade said before jumping off of the roof. Dick didn’t bother to follow, he knew he wouldn’t see him. It was silent as the four of them went back downstairs, but the second they were back on the top floor, everything erupted into chaos.

“What the fuck was that” Roy asked, and other people shared similar sentiments at the same time. Dick held his hands up to get everyone to quiet down, but it took longer than usual. Dick pushed down his uneasiness.

“We needed the information” Dick said and Donna scoffed.

“That we couldn’t get ourselves?” Donna asked. She looked madder than he’s seen her in a while.

“We’re at a dead end Donna” Dick argued. “We need to stop this before someone else gets hurt! I’m trying to protect you guys”!

“I would know we’re at a dead end if you would tell us” Donna shot back. “You haven’t been updating any of us Bird! This isn’t just your burden to bear, this is our case”!

“And just sending Joey without even talking to us? What if Slade took him” Roy continued, glancing at Joey who was glancing at Dick wearily..

“We’re a team Bird” Wally stressed, pulling off the face part of his uniform to look at Dick with big eyes. It was almost like he was begging him, but for what?

Dick looked in between them at a loss for words. Maybe he was stupid, maybe he shouldn’t have done that. Gosh, he didn’t even know if Slade would come through with the information!

“They just don’t get it” Jason said, appearing at Dick’s side and taking his hand. “You’re keeping them safe! They’re just scared, you need to reassure them”.

“We were there, nothing would have happened. It’s fine guys” Dick reassured. They just didn’t understand, but he was patient, he could explain it to them. “And Joey is a capable fighter guys. He could get away from Slade”.

Now everyone was quiet, looking at him worried like they didn’t know what to say. Well, they looked like they wanted to say something but they didn’t. Dick didn’t know how to feel. They did this a lot lately and he hated it. Why couldn’t they just say what they wanted to say?

“This is good! They should agree with you! It will be easier to keep them safe if they just agree” Jason said and Dick nodded slowly, pushing the thoughts that there was something wrong from the back of his mind. Because there was nothing wrong, there’s nothing that needed to be fixed! This year was hard, but they would be fine!

“Is Joey a capable enough fighter to get away from Deathstroke, or is he not ready yet?” Kyle said and everyone turned to him in surprise. He was sitting on the couch, looking at Dick with determined eyes. “Connor was right, but no one wants to admit it, and this just proves it. You keep saying they aren’t ready unless it benefits you, when you know they are. You’re holding them back to keep them safe but get mad at the League when they do the same thing to you. And now you’re starting to do the same thing to the rest of the Titans”.

“That's not true,” Dick snapped, his anger spiking suddenly. “What I'm doing is not even remotely close to what the League is doing. I’m the leader, I have been for years, and it’s my job to keep everyone safe. This situation doesn’t even involve you, you’re not a Titan, Kyle”.

“There it is again. Am I a part of you guys or am I not” Kyle asked, eyes narrowing, but Dick could also see he was hurt and felt bad. “That doesn’t even matter. There’s something really wrong going on here, and no one is mentioning it so I will. Whatever is affecting Titans A is starting to really affect everyone else, and something has to be done about it”.

“He thinks you're crazy,” Jason scoffed.

“There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine” Dick glared at him.

“He didn’t say that, but he’s not wrong about what he did say Bird” Donna cut in. “And I should’ve mentioned it before. We should’ve had this conversation before”.

“Donna?” Dick asked, kind of shocked. If anyone should agree with him, it should be Donna.

“Kyle is turning her against you” Jason said, sounding terrified. “She- she really likes him, you know she does. She’s gonna leave us for him, just like she did with Terry!! We had no contact with her for like a year! Kyle is gonna take her, you have to stop him”!

“Maybe we should have a Titans A meeting” Garth said, glancing around. Kori started ushering people towards the elevator, and Dick watched numbly.

“Kyle and Kara, stay,” Donna ordered. Kyle sat back down and Kara came closer as Jason tugged on Dick’s hand.

“Kyle can go,” Dick said. Kyle frowned, but Donna put a hand on his shoulder, looking at Dick with a stern look.

“He stays. Just because you’re mad that he disagreed with you doesn’t give you the right to kick him out” Donna said, squeezing Kyle’s shoulder lightly.

Dick didn’t care that Kyle disagreed with him, he just didn’t want Kyle to take Donna. Dick should’ve never invited him to the Tower in the first pl-- what was he even thinking? Kyle wasn’t trying to take Donna, and of course Kyle was allowed to stay at the Tower, he was recovering . What was wrong with-

“They’re ganging up on you! ” Jason said, gripping his hand tighter. “Do something”!

“This isn’t necessary, I'm fine,” Dick said. Donna shook her head.

“Bird none of us are fine, and none of us will talk about it. Let us help you, we can’t keep doing this” Donna pleaded. “We can’t keep pretending we’re fine and slapping a bandage on every issue because we don’t want to talk about it”.

“You never had a problem with my leadership before” Dick said sadly. “What changed? Don’t you trust me”?

“We do trust you,” Wally said softly, getting closer. Jason hid behind Dick. “And we love you so much, but things are getting out of hand”.

“We know you just want to help us, you always just want to help us” Roy said, uncharacteristically soft. “Just let us help you for once. Stop shouldering the burden alone”.

“If they trusted you, they would just take your word for it” Jason whispered sadly. “This is scary, can we leave”?

“I’m fine and that’s that” Dick said, shutting down the conversation. He went to leave but Donna grabbed his hand.

“Fine then, you're fine!” Donna said, glaring at him. “Then let’s talk about the Titans West issue. Why can’t they get on the field, huh? Why won’t you let them”?

“They’re not ready,” Dick said firmly. He tried to hand back his hand from Donna, but she had a firm grip on him. It wasn’t enough to hurt him, but it was enough that he couldn’t leave.

“But why?” Donna pressed. “ Why aren’t they ready”?

“Why does she care so much? Why doesn’t she just trust you?” Jason asked, sounding angry. “She probably agrees with Connor and Kyle”!

“Why are you insisting so hard on this Donna?” Dick asked. “I’m just keeping them safe”!

“But that’s not keeping them safe! They are ready” Garth argued. “You-“!

“You don’t get to make that decision! And you made where you stand clear when you went behind my back and authorized a mission for them” Dick argued, realizing that he was still so hurt over that.

“I authorized it”.

Dick turned to look at Donna in shock. Kyle, Kara, Roy, and Wally also looked shocked, so at least Dick wasn’t alone in his feelings.

“Garth and I were working together with Titans Weet” Donna confirmed and Dicks heart shattered . “You wouldn't let them do anything. I needed to show you, I needed you to listen”.

“She lied to you” Jason cried out, outraged. “She lied to you and went behind your back! They all did! And now they’re ganging up on you! They don’t trust you! They don’t love yo-“!

“Give me a minute, please ” Dick pleaded with Jason, looking down at him as his hands trembled. Jason looked up at him fearfully and Dick felt sick all of a sudden.

“Who are you talking to”? Dick snapped his attention over to Kyle, who asked the question and was looking at him in concern.

“I’m fine! I-“ he looked back down and Jason was gone. His voice broke a bit when he choked out the next sentence “I have to go”.

“Bird”!

“Don’t go! Talk to us”!

“Please don’t leave”!

But Dick was already out the door and running down stairs.

~

WALLY felt horrible.

Everything had been a mess after Bird left. They decided not to go after him, to give him time, but damn Wally wished they hadn’t. He also wished that he had spoken up more, maybe he could’ve convinced Bird to talk to them, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

Everyone was taking it hard and blaming themselves. Kyle even offered to leave, apologizing not for what he said, but the timing of it. They had told him to stay, telling him that this wasn’t his fault and that they really should have had this conversation way earlier. Kyle had been hesitant, but with a final request from Donna to stay, he did.

Kori had been upset about Bird leaving, but agreed that the talk was necessary. Bottom line, everyone blamed themselves, so Donna decided that they could shoulder the blame together instead of arguing about it.

Donna, who was always Bird’s second in command and now that he wasn’t here was taking up his position temporarily, called what was left of Titans West in for a meeting with what was left of Titans A. They of course apologized to Joey, Jackson, and M’gann about not doing anything earlier, and Wally was honestly surprised they accepted the apology and were just fine with it. But- it didn’t feel good. Titans West looked so defeated, and Wally didn’t know how to deal with the guilt. He should've been with the Titans more, but Uncle Barry’s legacy- he had to be with the League during the worst of it.

Wally was tired.

Joey decided to share with them what he and his father had conversed about and- it was nothing. It was basically nothing . He just asked Joey about himself. He just wanted to catch up. They had searched Joey for bugs but-

Nothing .

It made everything more confusing. Wally didn’t really ask Joey about his relationship with his father, but Joey had claimed it was a normal conversation and that it was something his father would do. He also said while his dad sucked as a person, he was an okay dad, and it made Wally a bit jealous.

Joey’s supervillain dad cared more about Joey than Wally’s civilian father ever cared about him.

Wally spent the rest of the day trying to keep himself distracted. He took a turn looking over the files for Donna (he also found nothing), he talked with Linda about the new semester that unfortunately was starting soon, he practiced math problems of all things-

He needed to talk to Kyle.

Wally’s original strategy had been to wait for Kyle to come talk to him, give him space until he was ready, but the whole thing with Bird really just reminded Wally that he couldn’t keep putting it off. The thing with Kyle was Wally’s fault, he should be the one to reach out to him. Wally needed to do this and he needed to do this now .

Wally left his room and marched across the floor to where Kyle’s room was, knocking before he could talk himself out of it. He waited for a bit but got no reply, and then he stupidly realized how late it was by glancing to his left out of the ceiling to floor window and seeing it was night. But he needed to do this now, so unfortunately Kyle was going to have to wake up. Wally tried to open the door, and was surprised that it wasn’t locked.

“Kyle?” Wally whispered as he slowly opened the door. To his surprise the bed was empty, and for a second he thought Kyle had left, but then he saw his duffle bag on the dresser. The bed was made, so if he wasn’t sleeping here, where was he?

He closed the door behind him when he left, and after checking the living room area and not seeing anyone, Wally decided to go to bed and try again in the morning. Unfortunately his body decided to not let him sleep, instead waking him up at 2:53 in the morning. He went to grab some water from his mini fridge and sadly realized he was out. He groaned when he realized he would have to go all the way upstairs to get water. He almost didn’t go, but his thirst won.

Was this how Garth felt? No, probably worse.

The first thing Wally heard when he exited the elevator on the top floor of the Tower was labored breathing. He quickly ran into the living room to see Kyle curled up on the couch with his head in his hands and cursed.

“Hey, hey it's me” Wally said as he sat next to him slowly, not too close but not too far. Kyle didn’t acknowledge him, and for a moment Wally thought that whatever Psimon had done to them was still affecting Kyle, but Kyle’s hand shot out and grabbed at nothing wildly. Wally was quick to put his arm out, Kyle grasping it tight and hunching over it.

“I can’t, I can't,” Kyle cried out. “Please, please , I don’t wanna be alone. I can’t ”.

“You’re not alone, I won’t leave. I’m not going anywhere” Wally reassured. “Just breathe with me, come on”.

“I can’t. I can’t breathe” Kyle sobbed out. “Don’t leave, I don’t wanna be alone”.

He kept repeating it in between gasping breaths, and Wally kept reassuring him as he let Kyle cling to his arm as if it was his life line. His breathing was getting more and more erratic, and Wally was honestly worried he was going to pass out, but unlike the first time Wally couldn’t get Kyle to breathe with him. 

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong” Wally tried, remembering what Uncle Barry would do when Wally would have panic attacks. But Kyle shook his head, curling tighter around Wally’s arm and shaking and- Wally pulled him into a hug, not knowing what else to do.

He knew he shouldn’t and that it was kind of a no-no to do that to someone having a panic attack, but Bird wasn’t in the Tower to help and he was the person who was the best at this. And Kyle said he didn’t want to be alone and - Kyle clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder as he struggled to breath. Wally hated to see the after effects of Parallax, how it still haunted them, but times like this he couldn’t pretend Parallax never happened like he usually did.

Kyle probably never got to pretend Parallax never happened.

It takes Kyle a while to calm down, but he does eventually, taking another minute of just taking slow deep breaths with his face still buried in Wally’s shoulder before pulling away. Wally let him, watching wearily as Kyle hugged himself, not looking at Wally as he sniffed.

“Sorry” Kyle rasped, rubbing at his eyes. “I mean, not sorry but- yeah”.

“Yeah,” Wally said slowly. “You wanna talk about it”?

“Had to come up here because I didn’t wanna freak out in front of Donna” Kyle told him, running his hands up and down his arms. Wally took one of the blankets off of the back of the couch and draped it over his shoulders.

“Donna’s not gonna judge you for that” Wally reassured him and Kyle sighed.

“I know, I know. It just sucks that it keeps happening, and I worked so hard to prove myself and I feel like I keep backsliding” Kyle said, laying his head on his knees. “Everyone keeps telling me that it’s fine and that this is normal, but it’s only happening to me . How am I supposed to be a decent Green Lantern if I keep falling to fear”?

Wally stared at him for a moment. When he had first met Kyle, he had hated him. In his eyes, Kyle had been replacing Uncle Hal, and everyone had just been okay with it. He never thought in a million years the two of them would have anything in common but-

“You’re more than a decent Lantern Kyle, and I’m sorry that I said otherwise. I’m sorry for comparing you to Uncle Hal and just making you miserable. I guess I was just taking out my insecurities on you” Wally said and Kyle glanced over at him. “I’m not- when Uncle Barry uh “ died ”, I took over the Flash mantle and I was never able to live up to it. I’m not a good Flash, and I guess I was jealous that you were doing so well and you barely even started. I’ve been doing this for years , and I’ll never live up to Uncle Barry’s legacy. But you- you’re a Torchbearer, you restarted the Green Lantern Corps, you served on the Justice League, you fought in a war, you helped us with this case-”.

“I think you’re a good Flash,” Kyle said softly, stopping him. “You don’t have to be Barry to be a good Flash, and I don't have to be Hal to be a good Green Lantern. At least, that’s what I’ve been told”.

They both thought they would never live up to their predecessor, they both thought they weren’t enough, but Kyle had used that to be better and Wally had used it to lash out on others. He took his pain of losing Uncle Barry and Uncle Hal out on everyone, Kyle especially, and had been so caught up on himself that he hadn’t been helping his team. He let his life fall apart because he was a coward .

Wally was just like his father, wasn’t he?

“I’m sorry for saying what I said in front of Garth, and using that against you. I would never use that against you, that wasn’t your fault” Wally said softly, feeling numb. Kyle glanced over.

“I was never really mad about that. Well maybe in the moment but- that wasn’t you. Psimon was in our heads” Kyle reminded him. “Yeah it hurt, but I talked with Garth and Roy. Just don’t mention it again”.

“I’m sorry for what I said back in September, for dismissing how you felt” Wally continued, his hands shaking. “I’m sorry that none of us told you about Major Force, and that we didn’t prioritize him before. And I’m so, so fucking sorry about your girlfriend”.

He couldn’t imagine finding out that the villain responsible for killing someone he loved was supposed to be taken care of by the people he was currently working with. He didn’t know how Kyle could stand even being in the same room with them.

“Wally-” Kyle started but Wally couldn’t stop himself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your question on Thanksgiving. I did mean to hurt you in the moment, but I really regret that now” Wally babbled. Kyle reached over to take Wally’s hand and squeeze it tight.

“Wally, hey-”

“I’m sorry that I basically told you to kill yourself” Wally blurted out and Kyle let go of him like he burned him, eyes wide.

It had been closer to when they had first met, and neither had mentioned it since. Wally didn’t even really remember he had said it until now. How often did Kyle think about it? And looking at him right now, staring at Wally with wide swollen and red eyes filled with pain , Wally finally broke.

Oh God, Wally was just like his father, wasn’t he?

All the pain and the grief over losing his Uncles, all the stress over school and helping aunt Iris with the twins and making sure Roy was okay, all the insecurity and uncertainty over him taking up the Flash mantle and where he stood with the League and what was happening with Bird and the rest of the team- it all came pouring out in that moment. Wally doesn’t remember the last time he cried so hard.

Wally doesn’t remember the last time he cried, period .

Arms wrapped around him and pulled him close, and even though Wally didn’t deserve the comfort, he melted into the embrace. He wished things were like they were before, when he was Kid Flash and the worst thing the five of them had to worry about was getting their homework done in time to hangout. Now home work was the least of Wally’s problems, and he was a fucking engineering student.

He didn’t know how long he cried for, but he felt so dehydrated when it died down a bit. He pulled back from Kyle with a soft thanks, biting back an “I’m sorry” since he didn’t want to be a hypocrite. He took a couple of deep breaths before turning to Kyle, feeling so tired.

“You said that everyone keeps telling you that it’s fine for you to break down every once in a while, but it only seems to happen to you” Wally asked, wiping at his eyes. Kyle nodded softly. “Now you know. None of us are completely okay, we just stuff it all down until it explodes. You saw what happened with Bird, we just have our ups and downs. And right now, it’s a down. You’re just more willing to show and share your emotions and for a lot of people, including some of the other Green Lanterns, that's the scariest thing. You have more willpower than you know Kyle”.

“So it's always gonna be like this” Kyle asked him, his voice soft and he looked defeated. Wally rolled his eyes dramatically and shook his head.

“No, weren’t you listening? I said there’s ups and downs. It’ll get better” Wally said, but immediately felt stupid because it was not the time to tease. Kyle managed a weak smile though, and he didn’t seem offended.

“As long as we’re apologizing. I’m sorry for bringing up Hal that day and suggesting that you guys didn‘t care about him” Kyle said. “And I'm so sorr y for blaming you for Alex’s death. That’s not on anyone but me”.

Alex .

“How did she-” Wally asked slowly and Kyle looked away.

“I wasn’t gone long, I really wasn’t. I left her in her apartment to go take care of some Green Lantern stuff, and when I came back- there was a note on the table that said to check the fridge” Kyle said, voice breaking a bit. “I should’ve known something was wrong. It wasn't her hand writing, I know her hand writing- I opened the fridge and there she was. Dead”.

Wally wanted to throw up. Kyle sounded so haunted and Wally didn’t blame him because that was horrifying . It made Wally nervous about Linda and her safety. What happened to Alex and Coast City was proof of it: what you loved could be taken from you in an instant.

“What happened to Alex wasn’t anyone’s fault but Major Force’s” Wally said firmly. “You couldn’t have known that would happen”.

Kyle shrugged.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, I was the one that pushed you. I’m cool with you, but I understand if you’re not cool with me” Wally said after some silence, Kyle glanced over and made a face, dramatic, as if he was in deep thought.

“I guess we’re cool” he teased, eyes still swollen and red, but playful. “Thanks for your help. And your reassurance”.

“Anytime. Really”.

Wally did not know when he fell asleep, but he woke up disoriented. He wasn’t even sure what year it was when he opened his eyes, and he really wished he had gotten some water before he fell asleep, it was his original mission. He glanced around and realized he was laying on the couch in the main living room of the top floor of Titans Tower, his head on a pillow and a blanket draped over him. Kyle was fast asleep on the opposite couch, also covered in a blanket. Soft voices coming from the direction of the kitchen caught Wally’s attention. He sat up and locked eyes with Joey, who was sitting on the floor and quietly playing on the Waynestation that lived in the main living room.

‘Water?’ Wally signed and Joey nodded, pausing the game and got up to get it for him.

After like a minute, Joey came back without any water and sat back down to play his game. Wally, truly offended, was going to say something when Donna leaned into his view, water bottle in hand. Wally could see Kara, Roy, and Garth behind her.

“You okay?” Donna whispered as she helped him sit up. Wally nodded and took the offered water, chugging it. “We found you two here this morning. And you both looked like you’ve been crying”.

Wally froze. What to say to that ? Well he couldn’t really hide it, and everyone on the team has had enough of beating around the bush, so Wally was honest.

“We had a heart to heart,” Wally explained. “Then we fell asleep. Oops”?

Donna smiled, and any worry she had melted away. Wally felt bad for worrying her when she was already taking care of so much. He knew how bad it looked for them to see him and Kyle on the couch, probably looking horrible after Kyle’s panic attack and Wally’s breakdown.

“It’s means a lot to me that the two of you are getting along” Donna told him, turning to look at Kyle fondly-

Wait. Wait a fucking minute.

Kyle wasn’t in his room when Wally went to look for him to apologize even though it was like midnight. And Kyle had mentioned last night (that morning?) that he didn’t want Donna to see him having a panic attack, meaning they were with each other when the symptoms started. And before that, they had disappeared during the New Year’s party, but the rest of them just chalked it up to them going to sleep.

And they were sleeping! Together !

“Did you and Kyle- are you two together?” Wally hissed in surprise. Joey paused his game and Roy’s eyes bugged out of his head. Kara looked surprised but elated, and Garth looked like he was trying not to laugh. But Donna looked calm. If anything she looked happy.

“Nothing is set in stone right now, we haven’t had the chance to talk about it,” Donna said. “So please don’t mention it to him”.

Wally just stared at her for a minute and she frowned.

“Do you have a problem with that?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Wally smiled at her.

“No I- Donna, you can do so much better”! Donna laughed softly, lightly swatting his arm. She had been about to say something when her comm pinged. She looked surprised when she saw who was pinging her.

“Go for Troia,” she replied. Then her eyes widened. “I think that could be arranged”.

Chapter Text

August, -xxx1

“Where are we?” Kyle asked, getting to his feet and looking around.

They definitely weren’t on Earth anymore. It was a ghost town, buildings around him destroyed and there were no signs of life. A few feet away from him was a huge crater, whatever happened to create it seemed to have recently, making Kyle feel uncertain. 

The strangest thing were these almost crystal like structures all over the place, hundreds of them just scattered around from what Kyle could see. Some came out of the floor and stood around Kyle’s height, others looked as if they had been knocked over and laid on the ground. Their shapes were weird, almost uncanny in a way, and they felt off . Some kind of energy was radiating off of them that felt familiar, but Kyle couldn’t pin it.

There were a couple of these crystal things laying on the bottom of the crater that were smaller, and one that was way bigger. They all looked like they had been knocked over, and Kyle wondered if that whatever made the crater had knocked them over? Or maybe what created the crater created them?

“Oa” H- Parallax said, taking a couple of steps forward, looking around instead of looking at Kyle. Kyle felt tense, knowing that he and Parallax could start fighting at any minute. “Former home base of the Green Lantern Corps”.

Kyle was about to ask what happened to it, but he already knew. Alan Scott had told him about what Parallax had done, all of those lives that had been lost. He looked at the crater again uneasily. 

“I need to recharge” Parallax muttered before sliding down into the crater, getting on his hands and knees, looking for something. “We’re on Oa, I can recharge, I- recharge what”?

Kyle followed him into the crater but kept his distance, unsure what to do. Kyle has never taken on anyone nearly as powerful as Parallax, and he could barely defeat the enemies he has faced. He wasn’t made to be a hero, but he had no other choice. He was the only one who could do this, and if he failed, that was the end of everything.

He just wished he didn’t have to do it alone. Because he was alone now.

“Come on! I have to- I need to-“ Parallax said before he sat back on his knees, slouching forward in defeat. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this”.

“Wasn’t supposed to be like what? What happened?” Kyle asked, getting closer. He sounded so defeated, so broken, that Kyle couldn’t help but feel bad.

“I caused so much damage, so many people got hurt and died because of me” Hal said sadly. “But I just wanted to fix everything. Coast City- everyone I loved is gone. And then I came here and made everything worse”.

He pointed to one of the crystal things in the crater, the big one, and it took Kyle a moment to realize it had been a person. They weren’t human looking but- were these Green Lanterns? Kyle looked around and remembered there were hundreds scattered around, feeling sick suddenly. All these were people, and now they were dead.

“I served with so many of these people, they were my friends, and now they’re gone because of me” Hal said softly. He looked down at his hands. “But it can’t be for nothing! I can still fix it, make it right”.

“I don’t think you can, Hal,” Kyle said softly. “I know what it’s like to lose what you love and want it back so badly that you lose yourself”.

Kyle almost killed Major Force. He almost took it too far, lost control of himself. But nothing Kyle could do would bring Alex back, no amount of begging and pleading would ever let Kyle see her again, she was gone. These Lanterns were gone, the people of Coast City were gone.

“What did you lose”? Kyle almost didn’t hear the question with how quietly it was asked. Kyle swallowed hard, his eyes burning.

“I lost everything ”. There was no other way to say it.

“But if I stop, if I don’t fix this, then it’s all for nothing” Hal said, looking up at Kyle now. “I really am just the bad guy”.

“You don’t have to be. I’m sorry about what happened to you, I’m sorry you lost so much, but there’s nothing you can do to change it. But you don’t have to keep going down this path Hal, let me help you”.

“How can you help me? You’re who they chose to replace me, to defeat me and be better” Hal said bitterly. Kyle sighed.

“I’m- I’ll be honest, I’m not a very good Green Lantern. I don’t really have the ‘ability to overcome great fear’ or anything like the real Green Lanterns could” Kyle told him, kicking at rocks with his feet. He hesitated but- what would he do with the ring? He’s done nothing helpful so far. He got lucky with Mongul (Superman really did most of the work), and Major Force? Kyle just lost control, and what if he couldn’t stop himself next time? What if he just became another Parallax? “I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. But you- you were like the greatest Green Lantern, and you can be that again, make up for your mistakes”.

Hal looked up at him again, confused. Kyle slipped off his ring, the uniform fading around him and leaving him in his civilian wear. He extended his hand out.

“Kid-”?

“Take it. Use your second chance to do good” Kyle encouraged. For a moment, Hal just stared at him as if he was looking into the depths of Kyle’s soul, but Kyle could be patient. And then, Hal reached out slowly before pausing for a moment. It was almost like he was wrestling with himself, but he eventually took the ring and put it on, and Kyle felt a burst of pride when Hal stood up. His uniform became the one that Kyle had seen in posters and on the news from time to time, the same uniform that appeared on Kyle when he first put on the ring, and Hal’s smile was so big that Kyle couldn’t help but smile too.

“I’m Green Lantern again” he said and his voice- why was it so monotone? It had been so full of sorrow and guilt before. He turned to Kyle, his grin turning predatory and Kyle’s dropped. He took a couple of steps back. “And it’s all thanks to you”.

“Hal, listen-”.

“Not Hal. Parallax” H- Parallax corrected easily. “Thank you for this, really. I have more power now, everything will be easier! I can fix everything, make it how it was! No”!

Kyle could feel the power oozing off of him as he turned his back to Kyle, looking out towards the ruins of Oa with his arms spread wide. 

“ I’ll make it even better ”.

-

It had been a weird morning for Kyle.

He had woken up to someone running their hands through his hair soothingly. He heard voices and slowly opened his eyes, quickly realizing that he was in the main living room of Titans Tower with his head in someone’s lap and a blanket was draped over him. He remembered his and Wally’s talk, his face heating up immediately when realized that he must have fallen asleep there.

But no one had teased him about it, and if they knew about his panic attack they didn’t ask. No one even mentioned that he was laying with his head in Donna’s lap and that she was running her hand through his hair. It was relaxing, and he felt warm and everything was nice . So he didn’t get up immediately, instead just listening to the remaining members of Titans A and Kara talk, happy to answer when they included him in parts of the conversation.

Despite the thing that happened with Nightwing the group seemed relaxed for once. There was no tension in the air or communicating through quick glances, but there was sadness. Kyle had assumed they’d throw him out of the tower for being the one to push the issue even though Donna had been adamant that he stay during the meeting, but everyone had asked him to stay afterwards anyways and Donna even invited him to spend the night in her room. But that night while he laid in her arms all he could think about was disrupting the happiness he finally found, about losing everything and being alone again, and that had led him to his stupid panic attack.

Though, at least things were better with Wally now.

He was given breakfast (which he had to sit up for. Sad.), made by a way too nice Wally and in hindsight Kyle should’ve been suspicious, before they all made their way down to Titans A’s floor. Joey had come with them, claiming to have been bored. Kyle had no idea where Jackson and M’gann were, and he was pretty sure Titans B were starting a case.

And that led up to now. After getting ready for the day, Kyle had been lounging on the couch between Joey and Roy when he heard it.

“ A-12: Green Lantern. A-13: Green Lantern ” the system rang out. Kyle didn’t even have a chance to sit up straight when a hat was put on his head and pulled a bit too aggressively over his nose.

“Thanks Wally”.

“Happy to be of service” Wally laughed as Kyle adjusted the hat.

“I didn’t know they were coming,” Kyle said, not wanting them to think he was just inviting League members into their territory, even though he did really want to see them again.

“It’s okay, I knew,” Donna said. “They called ahead to ask permission. They pinged Titans leader, so it’s a good thing Vic and I switched the codes around. Don’t think Bird would’ve answered, but we at Titans Tower appreciate our Lanterns as they appreciate our freedom”.

The other Titans in the room cheered and Joey punched the air like two seconds before John and Guy came out of the elevator. Guy grinned when he laid eyes on Kyle.

“ Torchie! ” Guy cheered. “It’s been forever”.

“It’s been a couple of days and I’ve been very active in the group chat” Kyle countered as they came closer. He didn’t like that predatory look in Guy’s eyes.

“We’re here to kidnap you!” Guy continued as if Kyle didn’t say anything. He created a construct sack in his hands and held it up..

“I- kidnap me?” Kyle asked, eyeing the bag wearily. He knew Guy would put him in the damn bag again just like he did last time.

“With your consent” John added, despite doing nothing to stop Guy and his construct bag from getting closer.

“Okay hey, wait! We don’t need a bag again, I can come willingly” Kyle said, hands up in defense. He could see Wally laughing. “Just uh- why am I getting kidnapped”?

“Lantern hang out. Do you want to come?” John asked as Guy let go of the bag construct, looking disappointed .

“Of course” Kyle said, because he really did miss their weird little family. Yeah, he was active in the group chat, but it wasn’t the same as seeing them.

They still checked in on him, asking him how he was healing and feeling, and that made him feel good. Yes, he knew the second that he saw them again he was no longer going to miss them and would want to get away from them because of their antics, but for now he missed them.

“Perfect, suit up, let’s go” Guy clapped his hands together. Kyle frowned, grateful that Joey let Kyle use him to stand up.

“I won’t be able to fly as fast because of my injuries,” Kyle reminded them. They both gave him a weird look.

“You do know that the suit sustains life and brings you to a prime state when fully materialized right?” John asked. Kyle paused.

“What”?

“Suit make you feel like not injured” Guy said slowly, as if he was stupid. Someone laughed and Kyle didn’t have to guess who.

“ What ?!” Kyle shrieked. “I didn’t know that”!

“Did Ke’Haan and Laira teach you anything in rookie training?” John asked in disbelief. Ke’Haan was a notably tough but thorough trainer, so Kyle could understand his reaction.

“He probably did John. Torchie was just too busy sneaking out to bars all across the Universe at night with Yat, Natu, and Tomar. I’d be surprised if any of them showed up for training” Guy said with a grin. Kyle rolled his eyes as he heard laughter, Wally’s of course being the loudest. He wouldn’t mention that they went to concerts too. Didn’t seem like the time.

“Hahaha yes, I had fun” Kyle said dryly, powering on his ring for the first time since that mission. It enveloped him, and they were right. He didn’t feel any of his injuries, flexing his fingers in his right hand easily. He could still see the bandages peeking out. “Woah”.

How did he not notice this before?

“Come on let’s go, we got people waiting” Guy said, starting towards the elevators.

“Bye guys, see you later” Kyle told the Titans that were in the room and Kara. They called back their goodbyes as Kyle and John followed after Guy. Once they made it to the roof, they took off into the sky.

“So is everyone gonna be there?” Kyle asked, flying in between them.

“Yep. Is that a problem?” Guy asked, glancing at him. He wasn’t accusing Kyle, he was genuinely asking.

“Kind of? I do really need to talk to Hal” Kyle said.

He could’ve done this before, but it felt weird to do it over text or a phone call. And he really did need the break, but now he had no choice.

“You guys can talk on the porch” John said as they flew over Coast City.

“I- porch?” Kyle asked. He had assumed they had been flying to Hal’s apartment but suddenly realized that they were going away from it. They were actually across the city from it and flying over a neighborhood with bigger and fancier houses. Like, it wasn’t like some of the mansions Kyle had seen in LA, but these were nice houses.

Would it be mean to say Hal couldn’t afford any of these?

“Yeah I can ask him to come out, and Guy and I will make sure the two of you have privacy” John promised as touched down quickly in a wooded area. They depowered their rings and Kyle quickly did the same with a wince, feeling a bit drained.

“Come here” Guy said, turning his back to Kyle and crouching down a bit. “Hop on”.

“Thanks Guy” Kyle said, adjusting his cap again before getting close enough for Guy to lift him up.

They followed John out of the wooded area and onto the sidewalk, stopping in front of a blue two story house that Kyle thought was gorgeous. John opened the gate, and when they got onto the porch Kyle was lowered onto one of the chairs there.

“Hal will be out in a sec,” John said. He was about to head back inside but Kyle was quick to grab his arm, wincing as he did.

“What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Kyle asked. Hal had every right to be mad at Kyle, to refuse to want to talk to him. All the things he had done for Kyle, just for Kyle to get mad over something stupid?

“He does, trust me” John said, eyes soft. “He’s been dying to talk to you”.

They went inside and Kyle was just left to sit there by himself. Despite it not being that cold in Coast, Kyle shivered. What if they brought him here to laugh at him? What if this was all some ploy, and Kyle was the naive trusting idiot he usually was and just walked into it. What if-

“Torchie”? Kyle glanced over to see Hal dressed in jeans, a dark blue shirt and his signature jacket. He gave Kyle a warm smile but his eyes looked sad. “Hey kid, I-“.

“I’m sorry” Kyle blurted out and Hal looked confused. “It was stupid of me to be upset about that, I shouldn’t have said anything and I’m really sorry”.

“Kid, I should be the one apologizing” Hal said, taking a seat on the bench next to Kyle. “I shouldn’t have told anyone that, it wasn’t my story to share”.

“But it’s- it hurt you too. It hurt you more . This is your pain, you were just sharing it with people you trust” Kyle insisted, thinking about the conversation he had with Roy. Hal sighed, looking so much older and so much more tired for a second.

“It doesn’t matter who was hurt more or whose pain it is. I broke your trust and your trust is important to me on and off the field. I know it hurt you, I saw that it hurt you, and broken trust isn’t easily fixed. So I’m sorry Torchie” Hal said sincerely. Kyle wanted to reassure Hal that he did trust him; that it wasn’t broken but-

He actually didn’t know. Did he trust Hal the same way? Did he really ever trust Hal at all? Did he trust the other Lanterns? Like it’s not that he didn’t trust them but- he was unsure. He was unsure and he hated it. So he just nodded.

“Okay yeah. Apology accepted” Kyle said, and he meant that. Hal looked surprised, concerned even, but Kyle cut him off. “And you can’t say that I can’t accept the apology! If you get to decide to take the blame, then I get to decide if I forgive you. And I do. I was never really mad to be honest”.

Hal laughed, wrapping an arm around Kyle’s shoulders.

“It’s okay to be mad, you know. I’m tough, I can take it” Hal said. Kyle thought about it.

“I wasn’t ever mad at you, honest. I think- I think I was more scared” Kyle admitted, looking down at his bandaged hand. Hal was quiet for a moment.

“What were you scared of?” Hal asked quietly. “Me?”

“No!” Kyle said immediately, looking back at Hal. “I just- I was scared that you didn’t care about me I guess. That you never did, and that when you found out that I knew, I’d be alone again”.

What Psimon had influenced Wally to say had really bothered Kyle, picking at just the right spots. He got attached to all his fellow Earth Lanterns so fast, he didn’t know what he would do if he lost them in any way. Gosh, he didn’t think he’d ever be ready to lose them in any way. Hal blinked twice before giving him a sad smile, not moving his arm from around Kyle. 

“Like we said before, you’re not getting rid of us. We all care about you kid, including me, and we won’t leave you alone even if you beg” Hal told him. “I know that it’s been rough for you, and that you were alone, but I meant it when I promised you that you never would be again. We’ve got you, just like you’ve got us”.

Kyle nodded.

“Thanks Hal,” Kyle said. “Honestly, it felt good to talk about it”.

“I’m glad you think that, it’s helpful for my next question. How are you doing kid” Hal asked and Kyle made a face. “I know we texted you about physical injuries, but I didn’t want to get into anything mental in front of the others”.

He was asking about Parallax’s toll on him. Psimon had pulled those memories and used it against him, and even if Kyle didn’t tell Hal that directly, Hal wasn’t stupid.

“I had a panic attack early this morning. But Wally helped me through it” Kyle told him. He saw Hal glance at him in surprise.

“Wally? My nephew? Helped you ” Hal asked and Kyle nodded, trying not to laugh at how shocked Hal looked.

“Yeah, we talked out our differences or whatever” Kyle said, playing with the sleeves of his jacket. When he glanced at Hal, he was smiling.

“It’s good you guys are getting along” Hal said and Kyle could feel the face he was making.

“I wouldn’t say getting along-“.

“I’ll take what I can get,” Hal said, softly pulling Kyle closer to him. Kyle leaned his head on Hal's shoulder. He felt at peace now, no longer at odds with any important people (or Wally’s) in his life.

“Hey Hal”?

“Yeah”?

“Where are we”? Hal looked confused.

“Wha- OH ! Oh, we’re at Carol's house” Hal said. Kyle sat up and whirled on Hal, ignoring the pain in his side as he grabbed one of Hal’s hands in his good one.

“ Who is Carol ?” Kyle asked desperately. “Hal, I can’t keep doing this”!

Hal’s laughter seemed to echo off of the wall, and Kyle was honestly offended at Hal laughing at his agony.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to her” Hal said, standing up and offering Kyle a hand. Kyle took it, and Hal led Kyle inside.

In the living room, John and Guy were playing some kind of card game. Simon was having a conversation with two people Kyle had never seen before.

One was a girl around Kyle’s age that looked so much like Hal that it gave Kyle whiplash. She had long brown hair and brown eyes, and was wearing a light green sweater and jeans. The other was a woman with black hair and blue eyes dressed in a pink shirt and jeans. They all looked at Kyle when he walked in.

“Torchie! Hey!” Jess exclaimed happily, seemingly coming out of nowhere to give Kyle a hug. Simon was quick to join in, hugging them both, and Kyle felt warm again. “Did you find the Oreos”?

“I did! Thank you Jess, you're a God send” Kyle laughed.

“You had Oreos and didn’t share”? Kyle turned around to see Connor.

“Connor? What are you doing here?” Kyle asked in disbelief. Connor smiled at him as he joined in on the hug.

“While I’m mad at the Titans, I do agree that League is being unreasonable so I’m mad at my dad. I’ve been staying at Uncle Hal’s” Connor explained as they pulled apart. “Oh, and Joey told me about what happened with Bird. Thanks for standing up for us. Hopefully you didn’t get in too much trouble with the other Titans for it, they can be a tight knit group”.

“Oh no, they actually backed me up” Kyle said, still in disbelief about that.

“Leading a revolt in the Titans? You’ve been busy Torchie” Simon joked and Kyle rolled his eyes before remembering that no one could see them, so he had just stood there in silence, staring at Simon. He was thankfully saved from embarrassment.

“Torchie” Hal said, getting Kyle’s attention. “I want to introduce you to Carol”.

Carol was the woman with the dark hair. She reached out and shook Kyle’s hand with a smile. She went to speak, but Guy cut her off.

“She's Hal’s off and on again girlfriend that he’s known since he was like, born” Guy said, leaning back in his chair with a grin. “She’s also his boss at his civilian job”.

Hal would date his boss.

“Thank you for the introduction Guy” Carol said flatly, glaring at Guy before turning back to Kyle with a smile. Hal put an arm around her waist, and Kyle guessed they were currently on again. “But it’s nice to meet you, Torchie. Hal’s told me a lot about you”.

Kyle didn’t know if he should feel as flattered as he did that Hal talked about him to his girlfriend.

“And this is my niece,” Hal said, gesturing to the other girl. “My other brother’s daughter. He’s met Jim and his family”.

The last part was aimed at his niece (who Kyle remembers was named Helen) and Carol. Kyle was glad that Hal did end up talking to Helen, even though he had been unsure. Helen grinned at him and waved.

“Hi Torchie. I’m Helen” she said and Kyle-

Kyle glanced around. Everyone was here. Hal was here introducing Kyle to people who were clearly important to him, his niece and his girlfriend. He introduced Kyle to his brother and his family too, inviting Kyle to family events and his events with Barry and Oliver who were clearly like family to Hal. He let Kyle stay at his apartment when Kyle first got back to Earth, helped him through a panic attack and took care of him.

Simon and Jess took him in impromptu adventures without him even having to ask, and Jess was teaching him the Spanish language and culture, being so patient and kind to him about it. John and Guy had been kind to him ever since they first met, basically guiding him without question. They went behind enemy lines during the war with the yellows to find him, and they helped him get free from Parallax even though they and Hal each had their own traumas with Parallax. Guy carried Kyle here on his back so that Kyle wouldn’t have to walk with his injury. Hal let him wear his dead dads jacket, his prized possession, just because he knew Kyle would be cold after the whole Parallax thing.

These people basically adopted him into their little family so quickly and without question. Even after he had avoided them for weeks, refusing to even talk to them, they took him in so readily. Kyle had been unsure whether he really did trust Hal and the other Lanterns, but-

“Hi Helen” Kyle said, taking off his hat. “I’m Kyle”.

Everything was silent for a moment and Kyle thought he fucked up, but he glanced around to see that everyone looked surprised.

“I didn’t expect your eyes to be green,” Jess said with a grin, breaking the silence.

“Everyone says that,” Kyle said, trying not to get tense but failing.

“He gets them from his mother” Hal said, and for a second Kyle was confused because there was no way he could know that. Hal never met his mam or saw pictures- but then Kyle remembered he had told Jane he got his eyes from his mam when he had been to Jim’s house the first time.

“What do you mean everyone says that” John asked, eyebrow raised. Jess gasped.

“Have you been sharing your secret identity with other people ?” Jess asked dramatically.

“Uh, okay the Titans do know- but it just kinda happened on New Years Eve” Kyle exclaimed when he saw the expressions of outrage.

“You revealed your identity and I wasn’t there?” Connor said, lightly punching Kyle in the shoulder. “Really”?

“Do we mean nothing to you?” John asked, shaking his head. Kyle laughed, tension leaving his body,, but it turned into a whine when Hal ruffled his hair affectionately. No one wanted him to have nice hair ever it seemed.

“Kyle,” Guy said thoughtfully. “I thought you would have a dumber name. Like- like Bartholomew or something”.

“No, that's Barry,” Hal said with a grin. Silence. And then-

“BARRY IS SHORT FOR BARTHOLOMEW ” Jess shrieked and as Kyle stood there in shock. Simon looked like someone stole his cat.

“Absolutely not,” Connor said, shaking his head. “There’s no way ”!

“Yep,” Hal said proudly. “Bartholomew Henry Allen. It’s a really stupid name”.

“Says Harold” Carol said, looking like she was trying not to laugh. Hal looked devastated .

“HAL IS SHORT FOR HAROLD ” Jess shrieked as Guy started laughing so hard that Kyle was sure he was gonna choke. John had his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

“Carol!” Hal whined, looking like a kicked puppy. Guy’s laughter got louder and Hal turned to him in fury. “Shut up! Your name is Guy ”!

“Whatever you say Harold ”.

“Uncle Harold,” Connor said sadly and Helen nodded, looking amused..

“What’s his middle name?” Simon asked. Carol lit up.

“Oh it’s-“ she started but was cut off by Hal kissing her.

“Nope, nuh uh, I’ve suffered enough” Hal said, shaking his head and Kyle couldn’t help but laugh again. “Changing the topic! I’m changing the topic to uh- Helen! Kyle went to the same university you go to”!

“Oh!” Helen said, pitying her Uncle and going with the topic change. “You went to UCLA”?

“ UCLA ?” Kyle asked, disgusted. “No. I went to USC”!

“Oh” was all Helen said, eyeing him up and down suspiciously.

“Oops?” Hal offered. “Is that not the same thing”?

“No,” they both said.

Despite the fact that Helen went to the worst school to ever exist in the state of California (maybe even the world), she and Kyle did get along. She told him that she had seen the drawing he had done of the Jordan family and complimented his art skills. Carol had asked to see his work sometime so Kyle had drawn her and Hal.

“Wait, this is amazing,” Carol said, looking at it with wide eyes. Hal grinned as he looked at Kyle’s drawing from over her shoulder.

“I told you,” he said smugly. Carol smiled and lightly patted his cheek, shaking her head. She asked to keep it and of course Kyle let her.

Everything fell back into place perfectly. It was so easy to ignore his pain and everything that was happening when he was with them, laughing about some stupid story from Guy’s rookie days. Kyle honestly loved them, and loved his place with them, because he instantly felt like he had a place with them. He had been so lonely when he was the last Green Lantern, and he wished he could go back in time and tell himself that it really was going to be okay. That he wouldn’t be alone for the rest of his life.

But they were also horrible, horrible people. They immediately reminded him why he missed being an only child. 

“How was the visit from Yat, Natu, and Tomar?” Guy asked.

“Oh, it was great, but Kara and Sodam were doing this weird flirting thing,” Kyle said. He was about to say “Something about increased stamina”, when Connor spoke.

“Like you and Donna”? Everyone’s eyes were on Kyle, and he felt his face heat up.

“Oh, it’s an obvious thing?” Hal asked with a grin, and Kyle knew Hal was thinking of the several sketches of Donna that were in Kyle’s sketchbook. Hal didn’t need to know Kyle added more.

“Really leaving us out of the loop Kyle” Simon sighed, leaning in. “Tell us everything”.

“It’s nothing!” Kyle said immediately.

“You guys literally slept with one another, how is that nothing?” Connor asked, looking amused. Kyle froze.

“ How do you know about that ?” Kyle asked, horrified. He didn’t tell anyone, and the only ones who knew besides him were Donna and Garth, but Connor wasn’t talking to either of them. He didn’t mind people knowing, both he and Donna were adults, but- he and Donna didn’t really get a chance to talk about anything yet. Did Titans West find out? But ho-

“Uh, I was there when you two woke up? Remember? After the Chri-”. Connor stopped speaking suddenly, his eyes widening in realization. “Wait, you two had sex ”?!

Kyle was mortified that he was stupid enough to tell on himself. He groaned, putting his head in his hands as several people cheered.

“Making moves”!

“I see you Kyle”.

“My man ”!

“She let you? Did you sell your soul for that or something”?!

“You guys suck, I hate all of you” Kyle complained. Someone clapped him on the shoulder, and he jumped with a wince.

“Sorry” Simon apologized with a grin.

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes Kyle” Hal said, with a solemn nod.

“I can’t believe I lost the bet” Connor shook his head sadly. 

“You guys had a bet going?” Kyle asked, feeling even more mortified. 

“Who won?” Helen asked immediately, with a grin that looked so much like Hal’s. Kyle hated that Hal had a mini me.

“M’gann thought you were gonna start the relationship, Jackson thought you were gonna screw it up-“.

“Hey”!

“I thought Donna was gonna screw up-“.

“Thank you Connor! Someone has faith in me”!

“Anytime Kyle. And Joey bet that you two were gonna have sex first” Connor finished and then paused. “That was oddly specific on Joey’s part. Do you think he cheated”?

“We don’t see you for a couple of days and you get a girlfriend” Jess asks, shaking her head. “Kyle, I’m pretty sure I asked in the group chat yesterday if there was anything new and exciting going on in your life”.

“That’s how it goes,” Carol said, shaking her head while Hal grinned with pride.

“I- well nothing is set in stone or anything. Like, we haven't talked about us yet. I think we were going to, but then the whole thing with Nightwing happened, and now she’s taking care of everything so it's not really the time” Kyle admitted. “Don’t know where it’ll go from here, but she has more important things to deal with first”.

He wasn’t gonna lie, he really wanted to have that conversation with Donna but he didn’t want to put more on her plate. She had seemed so stressed about it the night before, making plans for her next steps and going over the files they had gotten from Schott’s computer over and over again, but Kyle was happy to see her relaxed this morning. He hoped she wasn’t stressing herself out right now.

“You’re already doing better than Hal,” Carol said. Hal opened his mouth to say something before he shrugged and nodded, and Kyle had to laugh. John suddenly jolted a bit, lifting his ring to his face.

“What did you find?” John asked the ring. Everyone was silent as they watched John’s expression get somber. “We’ll keep looking into it”.

“John-” Guy started as John stood up.

“Guy, Hal, let’s talk for a minute,” John said. The three of them left to another room and Kyle was quick to turn to Jess and Simon

“What's that about?” Kyle asked. “And please don’t say you don’t know”.

“Sorry Kyle, but we don’t” Jess told him with a frown.

“I hate it when they do this,” Simon sighed. “You outrank them, go get us information”!

Kyle glanced in the direction they went. He really hated being left out of the loop but- he trusted them. They wouldn’t keep him, Jess, and Simon out of the loop without a good reason, and honestly that stressed Kyle out more. What was happening that only the three of them had to go into another room to talk about it? And John’s face?

“Simon was joking,” Jess said, reaching out to Kyle. He didn’t stop her from putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s probably some Honor Guard thing they don’t wanna stress you out about”.

“Yeah, they know you’re busy,” Simon reassured. But neither of them looked sure.

Kyle hoped it wasn’t another war. Gosh he really hoped it wasn’t another war, that would suck.

“I’ve known Hal for years, I can tell that whatever is happening is serious but not world ending” Carol offered and Kyle nodded. Helen gave Kyle a reassuring smile, but he couldn’t shake the bad feeling he had in his gut.

“Kyle”. Kyle turned to see Hal beckoning to him with serious eyes, and Kyle had a really bad feeling about this. 

He got up and followed Hal into another room. It was a home office, Carol’s home office. The best way he could describe it was pink. The desk chair, the monitor, the keyboard- there was so much pink. He was instructed to sit in the chair behind the desk, so he did, barely glancing at the picture of a younger Carol and some girl as he did. He looked at John, Guy, and Hal standing around him seriously.

“This is really bad timing, but we thought it would be better to tell you this sooner than later” Hal said and Kyle nodded.

“We looked into how Psimon could’ve known about what happened to you to use it against you and we got our answer. There’s evidence that someone or something spoke to Sinestro to get that information, and today I just got the call to confirm it” John said. “Kyle, the case that you and the others are dealing with, Sinestro helped”.

Kyle just stared at them.

“We don’t know how much of a hand he has in the overall thing but-”.

“That’s another Legion of Doom member,” Kyle said, cutting off Guy. “We thought it was just Luthor but- wow, this is really looking more and more like a Legion of Doom plot”.

“What?” Hal asked, confused. Kyle looked between them.

“This is just between us” Kyle said firmly and they nodded, so Kyle gave them case details and what they were thinking, what they had done. “We had thought it was Lex pulling favors, but maybe the whole Legion of Doom is in on it? But why target us?”

“You- you guys confronted lex Luthor” Hal asked in disbelief, for the first time looking disapproving. 

“I- we did. It was Nightwing’s call, but you know how he’s been lately” Kyle admitted, feeling a bit confused. 

“Try not to do that again, and I’ll tell you, Jess, and Simon why later” Hal promised and Kyle nodded. “But for right now, the point is that the Legion of Doom was somehow able to get access to Sinestro in the Sciencells right under our noses. This just got more dangerous”.

“So you want us off the case?” Kyle asked, feeling a bit bitter. That feeling quickly faded when he saw how baffled the others looked.

“No? The seven of you are adults and are capable, but-“ John sighed loudly, sitting in one of the two arm chairs on the other side of the desk. “With the Titans at odds with the League- if something happens, what if the League can’t back you up”?

“And that’s nothing against your own skills,” Hal added, sitting on the edge of the desk. “The League has actually called in the Titans in as reinforcements before all this shit happened. And the Titans have always known they can count on the League- well, i guess until now”.

“If something happens T- Kyle. Call us” Guy said. “The Titans might not like it, but it’s a tough decision you might have to make. If you call, we’ll come. You can count on that. And if we have to pull in other corps members from other sectors? So be it”.

Call people in from other se- they really did have his back.

“Thanks guys,” Kyle said. Guy grinned.

“Course kid”.

“This whole thing with someone getting into the Sciencells- the Guardians want to keep it under wraps. They assigned the case to Hal and I, so only the four of us, Salaak, and Yat know about this. Guy is already joining us on the case, and you're welcome to join us when you heal more” John said. “My question is, do you want to rope Jess and Simon into this”?

“I- you’re asking me ?” Kyle asked.

“This has to do with you. Sinestro told the Legion of Doom personal information about you, and the Corps is taking that seriously” John told him and Kyle hesitated. 

“Can we keep this to just us for now” Kyle asked. “We can rope them in later, but for right now-“.

Kyle trusted Jess and Simon and their abilities, but he didn’t want anyone to learn more things about him that he wasn’t ready for, and he didn’t know if anything else would slip out during this case. Guy and Hal already knew about Alex, but he really didn’t want to talk about her with anyone else. He wasn’t really ready to, so if he could wait until he was sure they were in a part of the case that his secrets wouldn’t get spilled that would be better.

“That’s fine, we can do that. For now, focus on healing and on your case with the Titans. We’ll update you with any new information” John said and Kyle nodded.

They left the office together, and Kyle did his best to not think about Sinestro and Parallax. No one asked them what had happened, instead welcoming them back with warm smiles.

Carol told stupid stories about Hal when he was younger, who just stared at her with a look of betrayal. Simon would egg this on by laughing at Hal, and Jess would keep it going by asking questions. Helen would interject here and there with new information while Connor would laugh along.

So he just relaxed and enjoyed his time with them. Hal, Guy, and John could take care of it until he finished his case with the Titans. He would do what he usually did and ignore anything negative for right now. Except there was one thing he couldn’t ignore.

John and Carol didn’t interact at all. 

They didn’t acknowledge eachother, didn’t stand close to eachother, they didn’t even look at each other even though they sat across from eachother when everyone sat down to eat. What made Kyle really notice it was when Guy asked Carol to pass him a drink since she was next to the cooler. She did, while John just got up to get his own, not even looking in her direction. When he got close to her (since she was still standing near the cooler), Hal was quick to stand in between them and talk to John about something dumb with a smile on his face. Kyle caught Guy’s eye, but Guy just shook his head.

Kyle was going to leave that alone.

Unfortunately the event had to end. Kyle was given a million hugs and threats to stay in contact before John, Guy, and Hal insisted they fly with him back to the tower. Simon and Jess left to go back to wherever they were staying, and Carol and Helen stayed at Carol’s. Hal told Carol he would “be right back” so Kyle guessed he was staying over.

They landed on the roof of Titans Tower, and Kyle realized that it was late and he wasn’t sure how he would get back inside. Usually he zetaed in, and the only time he had walked in through the front door was after he had gotten possessed by Psimon when he first met the Titans.

“Torchie” John said, getting his attention by putting a hand on his shoulder. “Remember, if things go wrong with your case, you can call us. Don’t underestimate the Legion of Doom, especially Lex Luthor. He’s not only an enemy of Superman, but the League as a whole for a reason”.

“I will. Thanks you guys” Kyle said. He was sad to see them go, but he would be seeing a lot of them when he joined them in their case. When he couldn’t see them in the sky anymore, Kyle made his way down stairs. He hesitated before opening the door, and surprisingly it just opened.

“A-19: Green Lantern ” the system rang out as he walked downstairs and Kyle winced. Hopefully they couldn’t hear that from the rooms. Kyle quickly made his way to the elevator after he got down to the top floor.

“Kyle”. Kyle almost screamed, whirling around and slamming a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t wake anyone up. 

Roy was staring at him, leaning up against the wall and only wearing sweat pants. He looked amused, and Kyle could easily tell that Roy purposefully tried to scare Kyle. What an asshole.

“Welcome back” Roy said with a grin. “Took you long enough”.

“What are you still doing up?” Kyle asked. It was pretty late, and he was pretty sure everyone else was sleeping. 

“I was looking over the files again for Donna” Roy said, now frowning deeply. Kyle paused.

“Did you guys find anything while I was gone?” Kyle asked, dreading an answer. He didn’t want any more bad news today.

“No, we’ve gotten nothing. I think we hit another dead end and it’s really getting to Donna” Roy sighed. “We got her to take a couple of breaks, but she’s starting to resist us”.

Kyle felt a bit bad about spending the day relaxing while everyone else was working on the case. But at least he had some information, even though he didn’t think it would be that helpful. He must’ve really been bad at hiding his emotions because Roy was quick to keep talking.

“Try and see if you can get her to take a break tomorrow, take a shift”.

Kyle nodded and the two headed down to Titans A’s floor. Roy wished him goodnight before disappearing into his own room. Kyle went over to his room but paused, glancing at Donna’s door. Well, it couldn’t hurt.

He powered off his ring before slipping into his room quietly. He side ached as he carefully made his way through her room, not wanting to wake her up. He heard movement, and stood still for a moment so his eyes could adjust. Donna was asleep on one side of her bed, so maybe she left space for him?

Hopefully.

He got out of his pants, shoes, and jacket before crawling into her bed, surprised when she curled into him with her head on his chest. He buried his nose in her hair, just taking in the moment as he held her. Sinestro and whatever the Legion of Doom were doing could wait, he was safe.

He woke up alone.

Chapter Text

Hiiiii guys!

So uh, unfortunately this fic is going on hiatus. Um. Idk for how long but uh, I just- this fic is super long and I spent months writing it but, I don’t feel like it’s good? Or worth finishing? Like I’ve been putting in so much effort and importance into writing and- I just feel like it’s not good enough I guess? I dunno I’m in a weird place guys. I’m really sorry

Chapter Text

June, -xxx1

“I hit Jason a lot harder than that. That was his name right? Jason”?

Dick could hear the horrible laughter, almost as if it was cheering him on as he kept hitting and hitting and hitting. He remembered Jason’s laughter that he would never hear again, Barbara’s screams that would always haunt him, and a sense of validation surged through him. He was putting an end to this, no one would suffer by his hands again-

“Nightwing, stop”!

He cried out as he was pulled back and away. He tried to break free, but the hold was strong, too strong. He looked up to see Donna holding him back, looking down at him with concerned blue eyes. Wally stood in front of him, looking in between Dick and over his shoulder at the body on the floor behind him in shock. Dick’s heart was pounding in his ears, and he fought the urge to keep trying to get out of Donna’s hold. It was useless to try, but he wasn’t done yet!

Hand’s started to pass through his hair in a way that was supposed to be soothing, but it unfortunately didn’t have any effect as Dick saw Bruce land behind Wally. He didn’t look at Dick once as he hurried over to the body on the floor. Cass landed quietly and made her way over slowly to Bruce and the body, but she stopped a couple of feet away, going rigid.

The hot rage that had taken over his body suddenly turned into cold and paralyzing grief, fear, when he realized what had happened. He shook his head, as if that could reverse what he had done, but there was Bruce kneeling down and starting CPR. There was Wally trying to block Dick’s view of it, Donna holding him tight, Kori running her hands through Dick’s hair-

“The Joker” Babs’ voice came over comms, colored with shock and disbelief. “He’s dead”.

-

Jan 3rd, xxx0

DONNA had no idea what to do next.

She had a couple of problems. The first was that their case basically went cold. The files Bird had gotten during the last mission were basically a dead end and they were no closer to having evidence to connect Luthor to the attacks. They still didn’t know if Schott was working with Luthor or had his own evil plan, and they didn’t know why Luthor was targeting Kryptonians.

Or why he also started targeting them too.

Because he was targeting them. Kyle had mentioned that Psimon had already known about whatever memories that were used to send him into a panic attack, so he had information on Kyle. And the substance that had trapped Wally was clearly planned to trap the Flash. They were lured into that rain water system. 

And they knew Kara was supposed to be on that team. If Bird hadn’t done that last minute change, would Kara be dead?

Another problem was what they were going to do with the League. Donna didn’t want to talk to most of the League right now, but she knew they would have to eventually. She just wished she could talk to them with a completed case, prove to them that they could do it, but they still had nothing.

The last problem was Bird. Donna and the others had tried reaching out several times, but he wouldn’t answer any texts or calls or comms- they didn’t know his secret identity. There was no way they could find him to talk to him. Donna was so worried, he wasn’t doing okay and there was nothing she could do to help him.

“Donna”? Donna swallowed a sigh and turned back to see Kyle standing in the doorway, a smile on his face.

After Kyle had left with Guy and John the day before, Donna had started looking through the files again hoping to find something. They couldn’t trust Slade, and even though he didn’t hurt or take Joey, Donna didn’t believe for a second he was going to give them any information.

She didn’t know why Bird did.

Several Titans had come to see her during that time, offering help or different view points. She had listened to them and tried everything they suggested, but nothing. Apparently now it was Kyle’s turn. She had woken up to him coming into her room the night before, but she had pretended she was still asleep, wanting to see what he would do. She wasn’t surprised that he crawled in next to her, but she was a little surprised when he had a nightmare that night. He didn’t wake up, just settled back into a fitful sleep a while after she looped her arms around him. She felt bad for not waiting for him to wake up, for not spending the morning with him, but she needed to get some work done if she wanted to close this case.

“Hey” she greeted, waving him over. She turned her chair around so that now she was sitting at the meeting table instead of at the monitor. “What’s up”?

“You’ve been here all morning” Kyle said as he sat on the table near her instead of taking a chair. “Any luck”?

“No. Everything’s still the same” Donna sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Kyle, I don’t know what to do”.

She wasn’t going to lie and pretend it was okay, because that’s what got them in this position in the first place. Maybe the League was right about them not being okay, but they didn’t need to treat them like children about it. She felt Kyle’s hand start running through her hair.

“You should take a break”. She glanced up at him.

“I don’t think I can,” she told him honestly. “Bird was right about not wanting more people to get hurt, and with this case unsolved, who knows what could happen next”.

“Have someone else look over the files while we do something fun. Then when you come back with a clear head, maybe you’ll have a better perspective” Kyle suggested.

Donna thought about it. She had tried everything else the other Titans and Kara suggested, maybe Kyle had a point. She had been mulling over asking for a second opinion from an outside source, maybe now it was time. She pulled out her comm device and found the person she was looking for and she put a hand to her ear to activate her comm.

“Troia to Robin,” Donna said. She waited, not really thinking she’d get a reply, but then her comm crackled to life.

“Go for Robin”.

“Hey, I was wondering if you could look over some case files for me and see if you can find anything? Green Lantern and I have to do something, but we’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell Batman” Donna explained.

“Yeah that’s no problem!” Robin said eagerly. “I’ll get right on that”!

“Thanks Robin! Comm me if you find anything. Troia out” Donna said. She had thought about asking him about Bird, but if he didn’t know she didn’t wanna worry him, so instead she sent him the case files. She looked back at Kyle. “Alright let’s go”.

He grinned and hopped off the table, extending his good hand to her. She took it, thinking he was just helping her up, but he didn’t let go of her hand as they walked together to the elevator.

“What are we doing?” Donna asked as he pushed the button to Titans A’s floor.

“Well, I would usually offer to draw for you but my hand is kind of busted” Kyle said. “But- you're a photographer right? Do you wanna take some pictures”?

Donna pulled him off the elevator and dropped his hand, framing him with her hands dramatically.

“That could be fun. And you are pretty, you’d make a good model” she said. His eyes went wide and he went bright red. Something she had learned about him recently was that he was very expressive, and honestly? It was a breath of fresh air that someone in this Tower could be so open with their emotions.

“I- you want to take pictures of me?” Kyle asked as Donna took his hand again.

“Yeah, if you’re okay with that” she said as she pulled him towards her room. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, we can take pictures of nature”.

“I- yeah you can take pictures of me” he said after she dropped his hand again to grab her camera bag and make sure she had everything in it.

“Perfect” she said, taking his hand again. They left Titans Tower through the front door and walked deeper into the wooded area that was on the other side of the tower, opposite of the bridge.

It was nice out, and she likes walking with him hand and hand. They went slow of course, mindful of his injuries, and she did her best to keep her worries out of her mind so she could relax but, it wasn’t easy. They always made it through whatever they faced, but what if this was the time that they would shatter completely and not be able to pick up the pieces?

“Connor was at the Lantern thing yesterday” Kyle said, breaking her train of thought. She raised an eyebrow and he continued. “He’s staying with Hal. He’s pissed off at Oliver too, says that even though he quit, he’s still mad at the League”.

“He and Roy aren’t biologically related, but they are so similar” Donna laughed as they entered the clearing where the lake they had gone skinny dipping in was. She almost asked if he wanted to again, but she wanted to take pictures.

Maybe she could do both another time-

“So what do you want me to do?” Kyle asked, glancing over at her.

“Nothing, I’m taking candids” Donna said, tugging him lightly so they were both sitting down. “Just be yourself, keep talking. What else happened yesterday”?

“Oh, I talked it out with Hal. We’re cool now” Kyle told her. She didn’t really understand why he and Hal had a disagreement, but some things weren’t meant for her to know and she was okay with that. “And I met his niece Helen and his girlfriend Carol”.

“He’s back together with Carol?” Donna asked, putting her camera down.

“Everyone knew Carol except for me I guess” Kyle said, rolling his eyes. Donna quickly took a picture and Kyle looked flustered. Donna tried not to laugh.

“Can I try something?” Donna asked. Kyle nodded and Donna laid down with her head in his lap so she could capture him from an up angle, hoping she didn’t look as flustered as she felt. He was definitely flustered, looking down at her with a bright red face.

She snapped another picture.

“Tell me more about Sodam, Sora, and Tu. Tell me about your bar hopping adventures Guy mentioned” Donna said. He looked surprised but nodded.

He started to tell her all about how he met them and how they would sneak out at night to go to events or go bar hopping during their rookie training. He smiled when he talked, remembering good times, and Donna got some beautiful photos of him. He was absolutely gorgeous and really photogenic, and the stories he told were great too. She asked questions from time to time, but she preferred to hear Kyle talk.

“Everything was great and then the war” Kyle trailed off. “They’re good friends, they stayed after all that”.

“All what?” Donna couldn’t help but ask. She didn’t know much of what happened during the war besides what he had mentioned, and even though she could theoretically access the case file, it felt like an invasion of his privacy. He was quiet for a moment, thinking.

“War leaves a lot of trauma, you know. I never thought I’d be in a war, but I’m still feeling the affects” he admitted.

“You had a nightmare last night” Donna said and Kyle looked surprised. He hesitated, she could see the uncertainty and fear in his eyes, and then he looked away from her. She wanted to reassure him, but he spoke before she could.

“During the war I- I was a prisoner of war. Torture and stuff” he told her. “I’m still working through that. I’m sorry that I woke you up”.

“I was already awake, and even if I wasn’t you don’t have to apologize. I told you that a lot of us have been through traumatic events, not the same as yours and I’m not making comparisons, but you're not alone. I’ve had nightmares about stuff too” she soothed. He glanced at her a bit. “That’s not your fault”.

Donna sat up, intending to continue the conversation face to face to let him know she was serious, but he turned at the same time and suddenly they were face to face. Their noses were almost touching, and her face felt hot, a tingle of anticipation under her skin.

She pulled her camera strap off from around her neck and put it in the bag, not once taking her eyes off of him.

“Can we talk about us?” Kyle asked quietly, an arm snaking around her waist. His intentions were pretty clear, or well, she thought.

“Yeah” she said breathlessly, arms wrapping around his neck. Her intentions were pretty clear, or well, she hoped. “I wasn't really thinking of this as a one night stand situation. I was thinking of something more- permanent”.

“I was thinking the same thing” he said before closing the small gap between them. Donna smiled into the kiss and felt him laugh a bit. They eventually had to come up for air, and Donna pressed their foreheads together.

“So does that mean I can take you on a date?” Kyle asked, eyes sparkling.

“Aren’t we already on one” Donna asked and Kyle shook his head lightly.

“No, this doesn’t count. I want to take you out on a real date” he insisted. Her face split into a grin because that was so cute and thoughtful of him. She leaned in to kiss him again.

“Works perfectly for me”. They were going to kiss when her comm went off. “I swear to Zeus, if that’s Garth I’m punting him over the Tower”.

She checked her comm and was quick to show Kyle. It was Robin.

“Go for Troia” Donna said, standing up quickly and pulling Kyle up with her, accidentally using too much strength and lifting him off the ground for a second. She sent him an apologetic smile as she grabbed her camera bag, and he laughed as his uniform materialized over him.

“Hey, I found out who’s funding Schott” Robin reported as Donna and Kyle flew up into the air and towards Titans Tower. “There’s some bank statements linking it to a medium sized business overseas”.

Donna frowned as they entered Titans Tower through the roof access, not waiting for the elevator and just went down the two flights of stairs to the monitoring room.

“So someone else is a part of this?” Donna said, trying not to let her dread show. She really didn’t want this case to get even more complicated.

But also- this was the kind of stuff Bird could do easily. Why hadn’t he done it when he looked over the files? He had been looking over the files for days.

“No, the medium sized business is a shell company for Luthor, he’s definitely a part of this. But my question is, is Schott a part of this? Does he even know it was Luthor giving him the money” Robin said, most likely thinking out loud. “I also thought I should let you know, Slade's been spotted near Luthor’s penthouse”.

Donna cursed. This could not be good. She glanced at Kyle, who looked both confused and concerned, and realized that he couldn’t hear the conversation. She gestured to him to give her his comm, and she looped him into the conversation.

“I should probably tell you, Sinestro is definitely involved- well, he at least helped. I found out yesterday and was gonna tell you when you and I got back from what we were doing” Kyle admitted with a frown. It looked like something was bothering him, but Donna wasn’t going to ask him about it in front of Robin.

“This just keeps getting worse and worse, and we can never get a step ahead,” Donna sighed.

“See, that’s where I have some good news! I’ve looked through Schott’s business social media, and he just posted about how he’s holding one last event in Chicago” Robin explained, and Kyle and Donna shared an excited glance.

This was another chance to get more information.

“I’m adding the post to the case fi- uh, the permissions for the case files were reset” Robin said, confused. “I don’t have permission to open them anymore”.

“What?” Donna asked, striding over to the monitor and sitting down. “I didn’t change the file permissions”.

She went through the database to look for the case and found that she couldn’t open it either. She tried to put in her code several times but it kept saying she didn’t have the level of permission to access this case. She turned to Kyle.

“Can we try your code?” Donna asked and he nodded. He muted his comm and just told her his code, but she didn’t have time to think about the level of trust he had for her or how good that made her feel. This time, she was allowed in and-

They had been taken off of the case. And then she saw who had taken them off of the cases

What?

~

DICK felt horrible.

He once again spiraled out of control. He needed to hold it together for the team, his family, and he imploded. He had one job, and he fucked it up.

Letting Slade talk to Joey had been stupid. They were right, why did he do that? They had been taking care of Joey since they had gotten him after the Judas Contract incident, and what Dick did meant they could’ve lost him forever.

“You needed the information,” Jason said. Dick looked up from where he was sitting on the floor of his apartment to see Jason sitting on the arm of his couch. He hadn’t seen Jason since he left Titans Tower, which had been over 24 hours ago.

“But risking Joey wasn’t worth it,” Dick said. “I could’ve found another way. Slade didn’t even give us any information. I was so stupid”.

“No you weren’t. You just want to finish the case! You just want to keep them safe” Jason said with a smile. “Trust me Big Wing, they’ll understand if you give them time”.

“But risking Joey isn’t keeping them safe” Dick argued. “Joey wouldn’t be safe, and us going after Slade doesn’t make us safe, especially with us being targeted by whatever Luthor is doing”.

“But you needed to finish the case to prove to the League you’re capable” Jason continued. “Slade getting you that information could help with that”.

“I can get that information too! I just needed more time” Dick said, running a hand through his hair. Jason shook his head.

“You don’t have time. The League could reassign the case at any time. Or solve it themselves” Jason reasoned, sliding off the arm of the couch to kneel in front of Dick. “If they finish it before you do, then they’re proved right”.

“Maybe they are right,” Dick said, putting his head in his hands and feeling so, so defeated. “We aren’t ready, and it’s not because of the rest of Titans A, it’s because of me. My friends were right, I’m not okay! I kept trying to ignore it and look where it got me! I should’ve prioritized them and their recovery. Wally feeling not good enough, Garth and Donna feeling like they had to go behind my back- that’s because of me. They didn’t tell me because they didn’t want to hurt me because they love me, but they shouldn’t have to tell me. We failed because of my leader ship”.

“Dick-“.

“Connor was right too. I’m just like the League, telling them that they aren’t ready and holding them back-“!

“You’re trying to protect them,” Jason said, standing up and looking down at him. “Sending them on the field means they can-“!

“That’s not protecting them! Holding them back won’t keep them safe and it’s not fair. Connor’s right, it's not fair” Dick said. “And the only reason the others haven’t left is because they have no where to go”!

“They aren’t ready-“

“Yes they are! I know they’re ready, I’ve known it this whole time! You’re the one who keeps telling me they’re not” Dick countered. “I can’t keep listening to you”!

“So you’re going to abandon me?” Jason scoffed. “Just like you abandoned the Titans the other day by running off? Now you’re just sitting here feeling sorry for yourself”.

“I’m not abandoning anyone” Dick told him, almost pleading. “I just- you’re wrong, I can’t keep doing this”.

“You’re fine Dick!” Jason said coldly. Dick shook his head.

“I’m not fine! I’m sitting here talking to you” Dick said miserably. Jason faltered, and for a second he wasn’t there, but he was back and looked angry.

“Just get back to solving that case, so you can keep everyone safe and they don’t end up like me-“!

“That’s the point” Dick wailed, now on his feet and looking down at Jason. “You’re dead Jason!”

Everything was silent, and Dick felt like his world shattered. He sobbed as he sat down on his couch, hating that he had to admit that horrible truth out loud.

“You died, and I wasn’t there to save you. I couldn’t even go to your funeral” Dick gasped. “and ever since it happened, I’ve been out of control. They saw me snap, and now they’re afraid of me”.

Dick had killed the Joker. The Joker had shot Babs before taunting Dick with Jason’s death like what he did was funny and meant nothing, and Dick had snapped. Bruce had resuscitated the Joker who was currently in a body cast after what Bruce did to him later, but ever since then Dick felt like he was out of control, barely hanging on.

He sat there sobbing, mourning his baby brother that he would never see again and the family he had lost. He was on the outs with Bruce, who had been so cold and unreasonable about the whole thing. Tim becoming Robin was slowly helping Bruce, but Dick still felt broken. He hadn’t wanted Titans A to see him like that, he needed to be strong for them, but in the end he failed them like he failed Jason.

He was so scared of someone else dying that he suffocated Titans West, and now he lost them in another way. He had been so focused on himself, keeping up appearances, that he neglected his friends and pushed them away.

This was all his fault.

“No it’s not”. Dick looked over to see Jason sitting next to him with a hand on his shoulder. He was no longer the 12 year old little Robin he had been when Dick had met him, but now he was 15, closer to the age that he died. He smiled sadly at Dick. “You were hurt and didn’t know how to deal with it. Bruce shut us out in his own pain, you didn’t know how to deal with it”.

“My friends reached out. I didn’t let them in” Dick said sadly.

“You were scared to let them see you crumble, you wanted to be brave for them because they were going through things too. Roy relapsed, Wally’s Uncle was gone and then he lost another one, Garth lost his brother in a war and his family is falling apart, and you’re worried about how all this weight will affect Donna especially since you just got her back after everything that happened with Terry and Robbie. It’s okay, you made mistakes, but now it’s your job to fix it” Jason told him. “Your job as leader isn’t to be perfect, you’re supposed to make mistakes. But it’s your job to own up to it and keep going”.

“When did you become so wise little brother?” Dick asked. Jason smiled sadly.

“Dick, I’m not real. All of this is coming from you, you just wouldn’t listen at first”. Dick blinked at him in shock. “So what's the plan Big Wing”?

Dick rubbed at his eyes and sat up straight. He had to get his head back in the game.

“Okay. Okay, the case files. I can find something, I’ve done harder cases than this. I need something to present to Titans A, and I need to apologize. I need to do check ins with every Titan and apologize, and that includes Kyle and Kara. And I need to find Connor and do something with Titans West” Dick said. Jason nodded.

“And the League”. Dick thought about it.

“Tell them they were right, but they went about it the wrong way” Dick said, surprising himself. “We can’t keep dancing around it, a decision has to be made and we aren’t staying benched”.

It was harsh, but it needed to be done. The League was busy with big problems all over the world, but they clearly weren’t taking the Titans seriously, they didn’t have the time to really consider the Titans best interests. They didn’t need a fancy tower of equipment to be Titans. If they needed to move and start over, they would.

“Anything else?” Jason asked, even though they both knew what Dick was thinking.

“Not let this happen again. The Titans didn’t deserve this. I need to change the system" Dick said, ideas already flowing though his head. Jason smiled.

“Good job Big Wing,” Jason said, getting up. Dick immediately grabbed his hand.

“Where are you going?” Dick asked, confused.

“You have to let go, Dickie. I’m not real” Jason said and Dick’s heart dropped.

“I know but- can’t you just stay? I don’t want to lose you again” Dick said softly. “You really helped me out just now”.

“I’m sorry Dick, but you know the answer to that” Jason said and Dick sighed shakily.

“Will I see you again?” Dick asked.

“For your sake, I really hope you don’t”.

“i love you” Dick told him honestly.

“I loved you too”. And he was gone.

Dick wiped furiously at his eyes and he went looking for his WayneTab. He sat on the floor and looked over the files again, finding the shell company that Luthor owned that was funding Schott’s business and the social media post about Scott’s final event in Chicago that weekend. Schott’s event needed to be attended, and Dick needed to find Slade.