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Chapter Text

Jungwon ran with the coffee in his hand (low fat milk, a splash of Vanilla, a splash of Salted Caramel, zero sugar, low foam, medium hot) and cursed himself for forgetting the umbrella. Again. He splashed through a puddle, the drops too big and too cold. His white, freshly ironed shirt stuck to his body, as well as his supposedly styled hair which laid like wet fur on his forehead.

Another amazing Monday morning working for Mr. Park. Or as everyone casually called him behind his back in the office: Satan.

Satan, like every leader of hell, was his boss, and Jungwon was the minion good at everything. The catch? Jungwon was not good at everything, but with a couple of lies on his CV and a clear desperation emanating from every pore of Satan himself, he had gotten the job 6 months ago.

If it weren’t for the absurd rent for a 38 m² apartment, or his absolut need to hold the job down with his imaginary claws, Jungwon would have resigned the first day. Yet, there he was.

The office had a coffee machine. A perfectly functional one. But Satan said that the beans were poorly roasted and the flavour was abysmal. So that was his morning routine: buy an overpriced coffee and run five blocks hoping it wouldn’t spill over.

Sometimes, he bought two, just in case.

“Morning,” he said as the doors opened. “I forgot my badge.”

“You look like a wet dog,” the girl behind the desk said, a brow raised. “You know…” she continued, a whisper, “Satan will comment on it.”

“I literally couldn’t care less, Yeji.”

She shrugged.

“Here, guest badge, give it back at the end of the day. You know the drill. By the way, we have some delegation from overseas. Heard Satan is planning something special for them.”

“Of course he is. Translation: I’ll plan something special for them.”

“Bingo.”

He entered the elevator, water dripping from him all over the floor, and Jungwon stared in the mirror. Indeed, the wet dog look wasn’t great. His shoes were covered in mud splatters and the coffee cup was on its last hope of life.

The doors opened and Jungwon closed his eyes. Breathed in. Almost said a prayer.

“You can do this.”

But as he entered Satan’s office, all bravado left his body. There they were, the guests, everyone staring at him, wide-eyed. Apparently, a wet dog look attracted no symphaty.

“Good morning. Uhm… the coffee, Mr. Park.”

“You’re… wetting my floors.”

“I’m aware.”

“Why are you—”

“It’s raining.”

“I don’t need the coffee. Jungwon,” Satan said, as he stood up from his desk.

His black shirt was crisp, hair styled away from his forehead, sleeves rolled up just enough. He looked good. Satan always looked good.

“Can you make a reservation for tonight for our guests and me?”

“Sure.”

Everyone kept staring at him, and Jungwon was profusely, painfully aware that the shirt stuck to his chest in such a way that his nipples were visible. Everything was on display.

“Oh, and Jungwon. A word, later.”

“Yes. Of course.”

Jungwon left, and took a sip of the coffee. Cold. Too sweet. Didn’t even taste like coffee anymore. But he wasn’t going to just throw it away.

What “tonight” meant was debatable. It could very well mean 5 PM or 7 PM. The restaurant? Jungwon already had an exhaustive list of acceptable restaurants by Satan’s standards. That was the easy part.

He sat down at his small desk, hidden by the big monitor, and sighed. He was cold. Shivering. Tired already and it was barely 9 AM.

He typed his password. Incorrect. Another try. And another, until it hit him that he had just changed it. Damn it, the IT regulations.

Perhaps he should have sent the message on Slack and asked Satan himself what tonight meant, but Jungwon had already developed mind-reading abilities.

Not quite, they had a 70% failure rate, but in that case, 6 PM seemed like the sweet spot.

Restaurant? Nothing less than Michelin quality: tiny portions, weird combinations, and the high chance of leaving it and going to grab some McDonald’s on the way home. Exactly how Satan liked it.

He stared at his computer, another update notification popping on the screen. His clothes were almost dry. Crinkled. Itchy.

But no pain, no gain.

Lunch break caught Jungwon eating his cup noodles behind his desk, trying not to fry off his tongue as he slurped the salty soup. Perhaps it was due to his overconsumtion of ramen that his hair was falling at an alarmind rate lately. Or the stress, which seemed like a more probable cause.

But as he gulped down the last of his noodles, he saw him. With the corner of his eyes.

Jungwon straightened up and hid the box in the drawer of his left: his drawer of secrets. Like the Chamber of Secrets, but with no stone, mostly garbage Satan shouldn’t see.

“Jungwon. My office. Now. Why does it stink of bad food in here? Open a window, please.”

“Yes, Mr. Park.”

Jungwon walked over to the office, the pants weirdly dried on his skin, and closed the door.

“I have a task for you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Satan looked him up and down, an eyebrow raised, but said nothing for a while. Jungwon stood, balancing from one foot to another.

“Stop doing that. It shows your anxiety. Anyway, my dog sitter stopped answering her phone. And Lucifer can’t stay alone at night in the house. Could you do that tonight?”

“Do what?” Jungwon asked, and gulped.

He heard stories about Lucifer. Bad ones.

“Babysit Lucifer while I’m at dinner with our guests.”

“I’ve never”-

“Great. Here’s the key. You can walk him, but I don’t trust you that much so just keep Lucifer company. He loves cartoons. And please don’t lose the key.”

“I won’t.”

Jungwon should have said something. He heard his mother’s voice drilling into his head: Jungwon, you have to stand up for yourself and tell that man you are just an assistant, not servant.

But Jungwon couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

He swallowed his pride, took the key, and left without saying another word. Dog sitter. Perfect to put on a resume.

Of course Satan lived in a white brick house in a neighborhood so expensive, it was the first time Jungwon had ever set foot in it. Hydrangeas in big pots by the front door; it smelled like money.

He unlocked the door, and then, hell broke loose.

Satan had forgotten to mention that the small spawn of devil, a hot dog-sized chihuahua barked like a sleep paralysis demon and ran at incredible speed on its tiny legs.

Jungwon almost fell as Lucifer bolted through the open door, barking, running straight into the street.

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck!” Jungwon shouted; door still open, he ran, stumbling over the stairs in a wild goose chase.

“Lucifer, come here!” he yelled, but the dog was faster. “God damn it!”

At least Lucifer had the wits not to go straight into traffic.

His lungs burned, face sweaty, shirt stained with sweat.

“Lucifer, stop!”

He took a turn and bumped face-first into a man’s chest.

“Shit, sorry. Sorry,” he said, and the man placed both hands on his shoulders.

“Was that your dog?”

“Yes! No—yes, I’m babysitting it, and that thing just ran away.”

“Alright… uhm, let me help,” the man said.

Jungwon would have denied the offer, but as his heart almost burst out of his chest, he nodded. Two were better than one.

So they ran, the stranger much faster than him.

Lucifer had stopped near a bush, marking its hellish territory.

The man slowly walked towards it and, in a fraction of a second, grabbed Lucifer in his arms.

“Shit, it bit me,” the man said, and Jungwon grabbed the dog, holding its head in such a way no more damage could be done.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. So sorry.”

“It’s alright… I should go to the hospital.”

“So sorry. So sorry…” Jungwon repeated as Lucifer kept barking. “I’m coming with you.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s my fault… Jungwon, by the way.”

“Heeseung,” the man said, smiling. “Alright. You owe me a rabies shot.”

“Deal. Shit, the door…” Jungwon said, and like a continuous chain of torture, his phone rang.

Satan.

“Hello, Mr. Park. Yes, yes, Lucifer is delightful. Such a good boy. Traffic? No, just a cartoon. He’s perfect,” he said, and closed the call, palms sweating, fingers trembling.

“The owner of this… thing?”

“My boss. I should lock the door and put a leash on this thing. Uhm… sorry, crap, there’s blood,” Jungwon said, staring at the two little bite marks on Heeseung’s hand.

“Looks worse than it is. Really.”

One good thing happening all day was that nobody broke into the house and that, despite all fears, Lucifer accepted the leash without another bite.

Glittery pink leash.

“Is this a girl?”

“I have no idea. Satan — I mean, my boss — loves this thing.”

Heeseung laughed as they walked to the closest hospital. The expensive neighborhood had its perks: nearby medical rooms. Little to no waiting time.

“Done. I won’t die. Yet,” Heeseung said, grinning. “And it’s free.”

“And you’ll get a cool scar.”

“Right. Uhm… can I get your number?”

“What?!”

“Phone number?”

“Oh… right. Right? Are”–

“Only if you”–

“Yeah, give me your phone.”

“Right,” Heeseung said, his smile suddenly shy. “I have a thing for guys that came out of a romantic comedy.”

Jungwon didn’t know what to say as he typed the number into his phone, a faint warmth creeping up his cheeks.

Jungwon sat on the couch, Lucifer running free through the mansion of Hell. Even the damn dog lived better than him: soft doggy bed, porcelain bowls, house filled with toys, and a fridge just for him.

“God. Can I reincarnate as a dog in the next life? But a rich dog,” Jungwon said as he turned on the TV that covered half the wall. “Cartoons…”

He didn’t dare roam the kitchen or even attempt to steal some snacks, not that Satan seemed like the type of guy who snacked. Was he? The interior was surprisingly warm, not sterile as he would have imagined. The living room had a big library covered in books and random trinkets: vases, antiques, and collectibles. His butt was swallowed by the couch, the pillows plush, soft. It was barely 8:30 PM. Jungwon yawned and wondered if Lucifer needed food.

He stood up and opened the tiny fridge.

“God, you eat better than me. Eco food. Fucking hell. Freeze-dried fish. Farm-sourced meat. Luciferious, may I tempt your highness with some fish?”

He grabbed one and sniffed it before he kneeled down and called over the dog.

“Good boy,” Jungwon said and let Lucifer eat from the palm of his hand. “You’re not so bad after all.”

It seemed like the spawn of Satan only needed a fishy treat to declare a truce, because when Jungwon sat on the couch, Lucifer jumped next to him; his tiny, white head leaned against his thigh as they both watched some cartoon on TV.

Jungwon had no recollection of the moment he had fallen asleep, or when Lucifer fully considered his lap an acceptable place to sleep.

But when he woke up, he was no longer alone. The TV was still running in the background, but standing right in front of him was Satan.

Watching him. Almost smiling. He oozed alcohol and cigarettes, and his crisp shirt was crumpled. Hair disheveled.

“So sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s alright,” he said and took Lucifer from his lap. “He never does this.”

“Mhm…”

“He keeps everyone at a distance.”

“Oh. I guess he likes me,” Jungwon said, yawning. “I should head home.”

“It’s 3 AM.”

“What?!”

“I have a spare bedroom,” Satan said, and for the first time in six months, he felt a tinge of anxiety behind his words.

Satan was rubbing the back of his neck. Satan smelled like cigarettes. Looked like someone who’d had a walk of shame.

“No, it’s… weird.”

“Is it?”

“Yes,” Jungwon said and stood up. “I’ll grab the tube.”

“That’s dangerous. I’d have driven you, but I’m—”

“I’m fine.”

“Right… sorry for… are you sure you don’t want to sleep over?”

“My clothes are— I need a shower and a change of clothes.”

“I think we wear the same size. It’s no big deal.”

Wasn’t it a big deal? Surely, Satan was still drunk. Otherwise, Jungwon couldn’t quite explain any of it. Was it a glitch in the Matrix, some error in the computer?

“All right.”

“There’s a bathroom connected to the spare bedroom.”

“Thanks, Mr. Park.”

Satan laughed, truly laughed, full-chested and lively, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Jay. It’s weird calling me Mr. Park when you… sleep in my house.”

Jungwon thought it was weirder to call him Jay all of a sudden, when in the morning, hungover and grumpy, Satan would probably forget, or worse, be disgusted by all of it.

“Uhm, where is the bedroom?”

“Right. First door straight ahead. I’ll bring you some pajamas.”

Pajamas. Satan’s pajamas.

The sheets were cream satin, and the bathroom was almost bigger than his entire apartment. The pajamas, neatly laid on the bed while he showered, smelled just like him. Soft, a clean, powdery scent.

“Why did I sniff them like a dog? Fucking hell.”

But Jungwon couldn’t fall asleep; even though the bed was softer than his, the pillows better, the sheets silky on his skin. He checked his phone over and over, caught between a state of sleepiness and restlessness, until his alarm went off at 7 sharp.

“Fucking hell,” he said, covering his head with the pillow.

A knock.

“I brought you some clothes. If they don’t fit… maybe I can find something else.”

“Thanks,” Jungwon said, standing up from the bed and opening the door just enough to grab them.

The white shirt, the slacks; they all had the same powdery smell, and Jungwon hated himself for the shiver he felt as he buttoned the shirt. It fit him. A little too well.

And Satan (Jay, Mr. Park) drove him to work in his G-Wagon like it was no big deal, like Yeji wouldn’t stare at them from the reception desk and probably gossip about it later. He knew what it would look like. Wrong. Wearing his clothes, sleeping at his place, driven to work by the man he called Satan and badmouthed too many times a day.

Satan parked the car in the garage, silence falling over them.

“I should go in first,” Jungwon said after a while.

“Right.”

“So it’s not weird.”

“Why would it be weird?”

Didn’t he know? Or was he playing dumb?

“Because…” Jungwon sighed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t want people to get the wrong impression.”

Satan laughed a little but said nothing as Jungwon climbed out of the car.

“Should I go buy the coffee from—”

“Just one from the espresso machine.”

Hell turned upside down that day. Cold, not scorching hot. Satan wanted normal people coffee, with milk probably on the brink of expiration from the fridge and badly roasted beans.

“Bad night?” Yeji asked him in the kitchen as he waited for the coffee to be ready.

“Horrible. It shows?”

“Your eyebags are worse than usual. I have this concealer that covers everything. If you want.”

“It’s fine. I like the look of overworked and underpaid. Works well with… everything else.”

Yeji grinned at him and touched his shirt.

“Armani. Jesus. When did you become fancy? Did Satan make you renew your wardrobe or something?”

“Found it in a thrift shop,” Jungwon said, turning around to cover the flush on his cheeks.

“Then share it with me, you asshole. Only keep the good shit for yourself, and I wanted to give you my concealer,” she said.

Jungwon grabbed the coffee, the foam not perfect, or in any fancy heart or leaf shape. Satan would hate it. Maybe just spit it out on his Armani shirt, which wasn’t even his.

“I have to go. Satan has a meeting in… five, and needs his dose of coffee.”

“He drinks… that ?” Yeji asked, pointing at the cup. “I thought he melts if his taste buds come in contact with shit mortals drink.”

“I’ll tell you in an hour.”

“Good luck. I heard…” Yeji said, stepping close to him to whisper in his ear. “A little birdie told me Satan had a one-night stand last night with someone from the company.”

“Did he?”

“Yes. There was someone in the car with him this morning.”

Jungwon shrugged.

“He won’t tell me.”

“He expects you to read his mind.”

Jungwon entered the meeting room, coffee in one hand and laptop in the other. He hated those meetings. The Satan asks questions meetings. The take notes meetings where even a scratch on the chin could get him admonished like a petulant five-year-old who ate his own boogers.

He sat at the round table, next to Satan himself, and placed the coffee cup on the table.

“Thanks,” Jay said, holding the mug and examining the white porcelain. “Smells good.”

He took a sip. Said nothing. And Jungwon waited for hell to unleash.

“You remembered how much milk I like,” he said after a pause.

Jungwon blinked. Twice.

“Yeah…”

Of course he remembered. The coffee order, with its exact measurements, was so ingrained in his brain that he could probably make it in his dreams. He opened the laptop, stared at the screen, and tapped his foot as the Word document loaded at a snail’s pace.

“You’re twitching,” Satan said. “Stop that. It’s distracting.”

And so it began. The first remark.

The meeting dragged on like it always did, pleasantries here, a forced laugh there, as if Excel spreadsheets and Q2 revenues were the funniest things mankind could offer.

Someone asked about the new tool migration. Another complained that the new team from Eastern Europe had a weird English accent. Just a touch of racism at 9:30 in the morning.

But Jungwon’s eyes kept darting back to the coffee cup. To Satan, who kept taking little sips.

He’d never once drunk the office coffee. Not once.

Chapter Text

Lucifer had warmed up to him. Sort of. He didn’t mean to make it a habit, but Satan never took the spare key back from him. Or the shirt. Or the slacks. And Jungwon hadn’t bothered (yet) to grab his discarded hoodie or pants from Satan’s.

He only found them one day, left in the spare bedroom, neatly folded, washed, and smelling powdery. They remained there, for days on end; Jungwon said nothing about them, and Satan hadn’t mentioned it. It became a strange ritual, a dirty little secret, even though Jungwon knew that, realistically, he was doing nothing strange. Or was he?

His mother thought he was out on dates with cute girls, and Yeji, Yeji had other ideas that involved sexy guys at gay bars.

Instead, Jungwon watched an entire season of Life with Louie while Lucifer debated between being best friends with lap-sitting benefits and cutthroat enemies in the matter of seconds.

But the routine was mostly the same: a text, sometimes as early as 10 AM or as late as 6 PM. A 30-minute tube ride to Satan’s house, followed by an overly excitable Lucifer and no more jogging exercises through the neighborhood.

By the fifth day of dog-sitting, Jungwon found little notes scattered throughout the house. Random ones. Funny ones.

“There’s takeout in the fridge. I know you’re hungry.”

“Chocolate fudge ice cream. EAT.”

“Stop overfeeding Lucifer. He’s chunkier.”

“Stop messing with my YouTube account.”

He didn’t know where Satan was off to. The bars? A girl’s place? A man’s? Some nights he returned earlier, sometimes as late as 3 AM. Those were the nights when, without asking anymore, he’d find on the bed next to his clothes a pair of pajamas. A toothbrush in the bathroom. A pair of oddly pink, fluffy slippers; his size.

There were nights when Jungwon wasn’t already asleep with Lucifer in his arms, and Satan would sit on the couch next to him without saying much.

Nights like that one: ordinary, almost normal nights.

“Season 2 already?” Satan asked and grabbed the ice cream container from Jungwon.

And then, the unthinkable happened. Without any hesitation, twitch of his eye, or total decomposition of his body, Satan used the same spoon Jungwon ate with and took a spoonful of ice cream.

“What?!”

“Nothing.”

“This is pretty good, actually.”

“Mhm… I should head home,” Jungwon said and sat up.

“Let’s just finish the episode.”

“Fine.”

But it wasn’t fine. Not when Satan himself sat on the couch next to him, eating ice cream like any mortal, straight from the container; black shirt untucked. Hair all over the place. Toes wiggling idly as he ate.

“Shit, I remember this part with his father,” Jay said, laughing.

Jay? No, Satan. But Jungwon couldn’t bring himself to call him that. Not when he looked so human in that very moment. Not when Jay took the time to write him silly, stupid notes and scatter them around. Like it meant nothing.

“He really likes you,” Jay said after a while, scratching Lucifer between his tiny ears; the dog had been sleeping on Jungwon’s lap like a small heater for the better part of the evening.

“I bribe him a lot.”

“That’s why I left the note.”

Jungwon laughed.

“I don’t overfeed him.”

“He’s got a belly. One extra kilogram. You go out and run with him,” Jay said, and as he laughed, he leaned on Jungwon’s shoulder.

Casual.

“You’re only jealous he’d choose me instead of you.”

“Because you act like the fun dad and I’m the strict mom.”

“Aham.”

He didn’t sleep over that night. Not that Jay asked. He no longer asked, just assumed.

What kind of arrangement was even that?

At times, when Jungwon checked his bank account in the morning and saw the extra money, it all tasted sour. It was just another job. Nothing more, or less, even though he’d never heard of dog sitters sleeping over just because.

Friday morning. What a wonderful word. What a wonderful gift to the corporate world. An almost-halt to all office despair, to never-ending Excel spreadsheets, laptop updates, and stinky commutes. Of overpriced coffee and itchy slacks.

Jungwon was in a good mood. He didn’t know why. But as he logged in to his account, sipping his coffee that vaguely tasted like spoiled milk, his phone buzzed. Once. Twice.

Heeseung: Are you free on Saturday?

Jungwon stared at the screen, a giddy grin on his face. The perfect Friday beamed right at him like a green light in traffic.

“Oh, someone’s happy,” Yeji said as she leaned on his desk. “You’ve been odd lately.”

“Huh?”

“In love much?”

“No. What?! Did I miss something?”

“You could do a toothpaste commercial with that smile,” she said, and peeked over the computer screen into his phone.

“Privacy.”

“Omg, you’re going on a date. Who’s Heeseung?”

“No one.”

“Right?” Yeji said , and snatched the phone from his hands.

“I swear I’m making an HR complaint if you don’t give it back.”

“You love me. Spill.”

“Yes, it’s a date. Just a guy I met when I was…” he said, then stopped. “Give it back.”

“When you were… what?”

“Walking down the street.”

“Oh, so a hot dude sees you walking down the street and just randomly—”

“Yeji… I thought you worked in reception, not at Jungwon’s desk,” Jay said, head peeking from inside his office. “I can hear you with my door closed. This is high-school behavior, not appropriate for a workplace.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Park,” Yeji said, and as she turned, gave Jungwon his phone back. “Saved by the bell.”

Whoever invented team meetings on Friday evening came straight from the deepest pits that Hell could offer. Because 10 people stuck together in a stuffy room at 3 PM was nothing but torture. Jungwon took his spot next to Jay. He knew he was tapping his foot but Jay said nothing, not even a whisper as the meeting started.

“The report sent yesterday was perhaps done by a 5 year old?” Jay asked and no one muttered one word. “Dave, did you check to see that the formulas were correct for the Q2 earnings?”

“Yes.”

“Well, they weren’t. Did you know that when you do a Pivot table you have to check that all the information is selected. Did you? Or do you need some Excel training, perhaps? What am I supposed to show to the board? Hmm…?”

“I can.. fix it,” Dave said with half a voice.

Jungwon stopped tapping his foot. Somewhere down the corridor, a drill offered the pleasant background noise. Someone sneezed and all eyes darted that way.

“I fixed it. Next on the list. The board is not pleased with the output from the new tools. Things are pilling, there’s backlog over backlog. Do we have some SLAs. Anyone?”

When the meeting ended (an eternity later, though it lasted less than 30 humiliating minutes), chairs scraped against the floor and people filed out like prisoners released on good behavior. Jungwon lingered, pretending to gather his things slower than necessary, until only he and Jay were left in the room. Jay didn’t look up from his laptop, but his voice cut through the silence.

“Stay a moment.”

“Did I do something wrong? I already sent the summary of the meeting… uhm, improvement plan.”

“No. What would you even do wrong?”

Jungwon shrugged. He could make a list on the spot: foot tapping, two yawns, chewing his thumb, and laughing when Dave rolled his eyes.

“So you won’t be able to watch Lucifer tomorrow night, I guess?”

“Probably not. I have plans.”

Jungwon wanted to add that he had a life outside that office, outside Jay’s house. Even thought it no longer seemed like it, when he knew where Jay even stashed his chips.

“Right. Uhm, that’s it,” Jay said and sighed.

Short. Quiet. “I planned on cooking, as a thank-you, but that won’t be… necessary.”

“Another time?” (You’ll ask me to come on Sunday anyway, won’t you?)

“Maybe. You can go. It’s almost 4 PM. Finish whatever you need, and you can leave early.”

The magic words uttered by the most unlikely person. Maybe hell was really turning icy cold in the end. A new Ice Age, specifically made for one named Satan.

Chapter Text

Jungwon didn’t mean to be early. He was never early.

But that evening, as he buttoned up the Armani shirt and caught his reflection in the mirror, he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Fuck yeah,” he said. “You can do this. You’re funny, charming, cute. Guys like cute.”

The restaurant was romantic. Fairy lights strung between the trees, jazzy ambient music, crisp white tablecloths. It felt like something out of a movie, maybe too much, but he liked it.

Jungwon sat, legs crossed under the table, fiddling with the corner of the linen napkin. The waiter had already filled his glass with water, and he’d taken exactly two sips, trying not to look like he was waiting. His eyes kept drifting to his phone screen, checking the time, then pretending to check messages, though there were none. The fairy lights above him flickered gently in the breeze, and the soft hum of conversations around him made his thoughts run wild; what if Heesung found him weird? Or maybe he’d get too drunk and say something inappropriate.

He wasn’t sure if it was excitement or dread, maybe both. Maybe he’d get a piece of lettuce stuck between his teeth. Better choose something safe. Pasta seemed safe enough. What wine went with it? He had no idea.

And then, when his mind was racing with a hundred thoughts per second, Heeseung appeared. He weaved through the tables with that easy, lopsided smile, hair a little messy like he’d run a hand through it on his way in. His shirt wasn’t that crisp; his posture not that perfect.

“Did I keep you waiting?” he asked, sitting down.

“No. How’s the bite?”

“Almost gone,” Heeseung said and showed him his hand. “See? Like a mosquito bite. I’m starving. Actually, I couldn’t eat anything today.”

“Why?”

“Nerves, I guess. I didn’t expect to say yes to the date. I mean… I hope it came across that way, a date and not—”

“I figured,” Jungwon said and smiled.

“Am I so obvious?”

“A little.”

“Did my line about liking guys who came out of a romantic comedy give it away?”

“Maybe. But I like it.”

“You better like it. I have more where that came from. So… wine?”

“White, obviously.”

“You seem like a white wine type of guy.”

“Do I?” Jungwon asked, flipping through the menu, but his mind was doing that funny thing again; thinking too much when it shouldn’t have.

That was the funny thing about intrusive thoughts. They sprang up randomly, like snails after too much rain. Why did Jay ask him to dog-sit Lucifer if he planned to stay home and cook for him? Was that a date as well?

“Earth to Excel sheets,” Heeseung said with a smile. “Sorry, that was terrible. The waiter is here.”

“Oh, right. I’ll get the carbonara.”

“Me too. And your best white wine.”

“Hee—”

“That’s all. What?”

“Did you check the price?”

“No, should I?”

“Yes,” Jungwon said, laughing, his cheeks hurting as Heeseung’s proud expression turned into one of visible despair.

“Shit. That’s… that’s fine. I won’t eat for a week.”

“God, you’re—”

“Charming?”

“Really trying to impress me, but your sudden death from malnourishment won’t help your cause.”

“I could become a model afterwards.”

“You already look like one,” Jungwon said, feeling the flush creep up his cheeks.

“That was smooth.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Not really, but you could say the Earth is flat and I’d eat it up.”

“I would never say that.”

Whatever followed next, Jungwon blamed on the very best white wine, and the adrenaline rush he felt whenever Heeseung looked at him for too long.

But when the last drop of wine was gone from their glasses, Jungwon leaned forward and whispered over the table:

“When no one’s looking, we make a run for it.”

“What?!”

“Come on. The waiters disappear in threes. We’ve got a window.”

“Jungwon, this is—”

“Shhh. Now,” Jungwon said, grabbing Heeseung’s hand as they slipped between the tables, out into the street, and ran. Really ran. Still holding hands.

“Fuck, you’re insane.”

“I saved your wallet. You should thank me,” Jungwon said, breathless, as Heeseung pulled him aside into a dimly lit alleyway.

“God, you…” he said, and then pushed him gently against the red brick wall. “Can I kiss you?”

Jungwon nodded.

His lips were soft, the kiss sweet; a nose bump here and there, but as Jungwon wrapped both arms around Heeseung’s neck, the rest faded; the brick wall, the street noise, the wine fuzz in his brain. It was just this: warm breath, lips moving gently, Heeseung’s tongue exploring his mouth with no urgency. Jungwon felt bold and bit down on his lower lip, just enough to make him gasp. Heeseung’s hands settled on his waist, unsure at first, then steadier. They broke apart slowly, but neither of them stepped back. He leaned his forehead against Jungwon’s, breath shallow.

“Fuck, that was…”

“I was told I’m an amazing kisser and should receive a special prize for it,” Jungwon said, grinning.

“Cocky. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Jungwon asked, batting his eyelashes.

“God. Like… that.”

“Walk me home, then. I promise I’ll only stare at the pavement.”

They didn’t kiss again on the walk back, just brushed hands now and then, laughed too loudly at things that weren’t that funny, and took the long way around without realizing it. By the time they reached Jungwon’s apartment building, his bladder was on its last legs. It had been ever since they ran out of the restaurant, but Jungwon had ignored it like most problems in life. Heeseung pulled him in for a hug that lingered just a little too long.

“Text me when you’re inside?” Heeseung asked, his thumb brushing Jungwon’s knuckles.

“I will. Thanks… for tonight.”

“Thanks for saving my life savings,” Heeseung said, and then he was gone, and Jungwon was left alone with his exploding bladder.

He shut the door behind him and leaned against it, smiling to himself as he kicked off his shoes. Still warm from the wine, the kiss, the everything, but as he slid under his sheets and turned off the lights, the quiet crept in. He stared at the ceiling. Then rolled onto his side. Checked his phone. Switched it off. Checked it again.

He didn’t mean to think of Jay. Not right away. But he did. The way his laugh sounded low and close when they watched cartoons, the powdery smell of his clothes, the stupid sticky notes on the fridge.

He opened their chat.

Jungwon:

How’s Lucifer?

The reply came so fast he blinked twice.

Jay:

Passed out. We’re halfway through Season 3. Life with Louie, of course.

📸 [Photo of Lucifer curled up on Jay’s lap, TV screen glowing in the background]

Jungwon closed his eyes, closed his phone, and wondered what the hell he was supposed to answer to that. Send a blurry, too-dark photo of himself in bed? Ignore it completely? He checked it again. Zoomed in on Jay’s face and stopped himself.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

It was just a text. One singular message that made his heart beat faster and sleepiness evaporate in a record ten seconds that morning.

Jay:

Lucifer misses his cartoon buddy. Thought of cooking tonight. You in?

Jungwon stared at the screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Type. Delete. Type. It was casual. Unexpected. Jay seemed like the kind of person to hold grudges.

And yet, there he was (moderately cheap but not offensively so bottle of wine in hand) knocking on the door. He’d never knocked before. Just let himself in with the spare key. But that felt too familiar now. Too domestic.

Jay opened the door in a plain white t-shirt and messy hair, the faint smell of freshly cut garlic spilling into the hallway.

“You came.”

“Your face says you didn’t expect me to,” Jungwon said, and barely had time to close the door before Lucifer launched himself into his arms with Olympic enthusiasm.

“Jeez, someone really missed me.”

“Told you. He barely looked at me. Your bribes work.”

“I’m an evil genius in dog care.”

Jay gestured toward the kitchen. “I’m making some sort of pasta,” he said, taking the wine. “Never heard of this brand before.”

“Because it’s cheap. But… it’s good. Or good enough for—”

“I drink cheap wine too.”

“Oh yeah? Can I check your cupboards and see if you’re lying?”

“Fuck off. Your duties tonight are entertaining Lucifer and not burning down my kitchen. Can you handle that?”

Jay tied on an apron (surprisingly bright pink and disgustingly cute) while Jungwon stared. His boss, former-Satan, ruler of Corporate Hell and public meeting-shaming, was now cooking for him like it was no big deal.

“I can chop stuff.”

“Fine. Mushrooms. Right there on the counter.”

Jungwon grabbed the smallest knife he could find and quickly discovered mushrooms were slippery. And weirdly sticky.

“It looks like a Picasso,” Jay said, peeking over his shoulder.

“Bad?”

“It’s… different. Your chopping style.”

But Jay didn’t scold him for his subpar cooking. Not even when he burnt the garlic; a black, crispy mass clinging to the sides of the pan. He just laughed, poured more wine, and let Jungwon dangle his feet from the counter while he salvaged the rest of the meal.

“Taste,” Jay said, blowing on a wooden spoon.

Jungwon expected to be handed the spoon, but Jay stepped in, standing between his knees, and fed him instead.

“Salt?”

“Mhm. And maybe some extra pepper. But it’s good. Doesn’t taste burnt.”

It tasted good. Too good, even, as they sat on the couch and Jay turned on Life with Louie . Lucifer wedged himself between them, squeezing into the gap their thighs left behind. What was this? A poorly masked date? Or just Jay’s awkward way of saying thank you for dog sitting the spawn of evil turned angel? Not that there was any need for a thank you: Jay paid him. Every time. More than any regular dog sitter could dream of. And chillingly, Jungwon wondered if Jay would try to pay him for this too. For the non-date date.

That would be a new low.

“You know what? I think this might be the best cartoon of all time,” Jay said, pointing at the screen with his fork.

“The Kids from Room 402” is better.”

“No way.”

“Did you even watch it?”

“Yes. A long time ago.”

“Top-tier cartoon. No question. And The Magic School Bus .”

“Above Life with Louie ?” Jay asked, placing his plate on the table. “That’s blasphemy.”

“It’s the cold truth. I see you can’t handle it.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Keep drinking the cheap wine. I see it fucks with your—”

“Fuck off,” Jay said, nudging him with his shoulder, laughing.

When had they gotten here? Jungwon looked at him ; no, stared. At the way Jay smiled. At how he ran his fingers through his hair. At the fact he still wore that ridiculous bubble gum pink apron. And Jungwon thought about Heeseung. About their date. About this non-date. About what the hell he was doing.

“I know!” Jungwon said suddenly, jumping to his feet. “ Just Dance .”

“What?!”

“Yes. It’s perfect.”

“I don’t dance. I’ll puke.”

“No, you won’t. You have to do the Rasputin,” Jungwon said, laughing, and grabbed Jay by both arms, dragging him to the middle of the room.

“My knees are—”

“I want to hear no excuses.”

“You’re paying for my knee replacement surgery.”

But Jay went along with it anyway. He danced the Rasputin while Jungwon filmed him, hands shaking, tears slipping down his flushed cheeks from laughter. Jay collapsed butt-first onto the carpet, knocking over the wine bottle in the process, staining it deep red. He kept laughing, grabbing way too many tissues and dabbing at the stain like it mattered, like the song wasn’t still blasting in the background.

Then he opened another bottle. Drank straight from it. Gave the bottle to him. Jay didn’t even wince when Jungwon took a big gulp of wine.

“I need a cigarette,” he groaned, then pressed a finger to his lips. “Shhh… don’t tell on me.”

“I knew you smoked.”

“How?”

“You stank of it that first time I dog sat. When you came back home.”

Jay shrugged like it was nothing.

“Come on. I need my nicotine,” he said, grabbing Jungwon by the shoulders and steering him out into the back garden. “Just don’t tell Yeji. She gossips. A lot.”

“I won’t.”

“Want one? No, actually, I’m a terrible influence. But do you?”

“Just to try,” Jungwon said, taking one from the pack.

“Well, the trick is to act like a fish.”

“What?”

“You take a breath and gulp the smoke like a fish. See?” Jay demonstrated; then immediately choked. “Not like that. But you get the idea.”

Jungwon did not get the idea. He nearly passed out after the first inhale, suddenly dizzy, dropping the cigarette onto the grass as he knelt down.

“Don’t puke on that. Puke there ,” Jay said, pointing toward the stone path. “Easier to clean.”

“I’m not puking,” Jungwon muttered, clutching his knees.

“Shit, it’s burning,” Jay said, laughing, as he stomped out the small patch of grass that had started to catch fire.

They sat on the grass, cold seeping through Jungwon’s shirt, pointing at made-up galaxies and constellations between the canopy of leaves.

“That’s definitely Andromeda.”

“Definitely definitely, or just in your head?”

“In my head. But I’m always right.”

His phone buzzed next to his elbow. Buzzed again. Jungwon didn’t bother checking it.

“I didn’t think you’d be like this,” Jay said.

“Like what?” Jungwon asked, glancing at him.

“Like…” Jay paused, placing both arms behind his head. “Seven months ago, when I hired you, I thought you were just a kid who’d be a pain in the ass.”

“Literally or…?”

“Fuck off,” Jay said, grinning. “Not literally. Metaphorically speaking.”

“I’m a damn good dog sitter.”

“You’re a lousy one.”

“So… what changed?”

Jay shrugged.

“You weaseled your way into my life.”

“You gave me the spare key.”

“Exactly. I’m still debating whether that was a huge mistake.”

“Why would it be?” Jungwon asked, turning on his side to face him.

“How was the date? With the hot guy?”

“God. Please don’t.”

“That bad?”

“No.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“Yes.”

“Come on, I haven’t been on a date in ages. What’s cool to do these days?”

Jungwon didn’t answer. So their non-date was, in fact, a non-date. But why did stargazing half-drunk feel so stupidly romantic, then?

“Go to a restaurant. Run before the bill arrives.”

“Jeez,” Jay said, turning to face him. “Second date?”

“Haven’t talked about it… Actually, I have a confession to make. Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Depends what—”

“The first day I dog sat Lucifer… he escaped as I opened the front door, and I had to chase him through the neighborhood. That’s how I met Heeseung. He caught Lucifer, got bitten, and we went for a rabies shot—”

“He bit someone?”

“Heeseung is fine.”

“Fuck. I raised a monster.”

“Are you mad?”

“No. Shocked. Basically… Lucifer was your wingman.”

“If you put it like that.”

Jungwon could feel Jay’s breath on his face; warm, slightly damp, laced with cigarette smoke. His smile was beautiful. That’s all he could think about. Neither of them said anything for a long time.

“Uhm… it’s cold. We should… go inside,” Jay said finally.

“I should go home, actually. It’s late.”

“Right… you… never mind.”

“What?”

“You could sleep here. If you want.”

“We have work tomorrow.”

“And you have a hot date anyway, don’t you?”

Chapter Text

It was yet another Monday morning. But not quite.

If he were to compare the dreadful, looming shadow of Monday on a Sunday night two months ago to the not-so-dreadful and slightly tipsy realization of that particular Sunday, things couldn’t be more different.

Heeseung still texted him good night and good morning like clockwork. And as Jungwon walked into the kitchen for his usual cup of coffee, Jay was already there, two cups in hand.

“For you,” Jay said. “Didn’t know if you liked cappuccino or flat white, so I went with a flat white. Extra shot of espresso.”

“I’m not picky,” Jungwon said, taking it. “Thanks.”

“I should go. Come by my office later, I’ve got some tasks for you.”

“Yes, chief.”

“Stop calling me that,” Jay said, but he laughed as he walked out.

As a rather unfortunate turn of events, or perhaps more like Murphy’s Law in reverse: two good things were often directly tied to one bad thing.

Yeji.

His comrade in suffering. The Corporate Hell survivor. His daily source of gossip.

Only lately, Jungwon was starting to feel more like the source of gossip than the recipient.

“Why was he smiling like that? I’ve never seen Satan smile. Ever,” Yeji asked as Jungwon took a sip of his coffee.

It was strong.

“Did you make Satan laugh?”

“No. I mean, Jay made coffee and—”

“Jay?”

“I meant Satan. Never mind. He made coffee. That’s all.”

“I’ve never smiled like that making coffee,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe he really likes coffee.”

“Right. I bet coffee was the one and only reason. He waved at me. He never waves.”

“Change in…”

“Alright, keep your secrets,” she said, leaning in. “Tell me about the hot date. Spill. Did you kiss?”

“Mhm.” Jungwon nodded.

“I knew it. Did you… you know?”

“No. Not on the first date.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I need to know the person before… you know,” Jungwon said, turning away before she could see the flush creeping up his cheeks.

“You’re such a romantic. Truly.”

“Maybe… but I suck at love.”

“No, you don’t. He’s hot. Seems normal, cute. A dog bit him just to save your ass. What else could you ask for?”

Exactly, Jungwon thought, staring down at his phone as he texted Heeseung throughout the day.

What else could he want?

Heesung was like the perfectly wrapped piece of candy: sweet, a little tangy, the kind he’d always believed he’d crave his whole life.

His eyes drifted toward Jay’s office, his shape just visible behind the frosted glass, a blur of movement, head bent, focused. Distant.

Heesung: Wanna hang out tonight? Promise I won’t kiss you too hard this time

Jungwon: your place or mine?

He didn’t hear him walk towards him, only saw Jay as he stopped by the edge of his desk, leaning over his laptop. His phone. Texts painfully visible. Bright. Screaming right in his face what he planned to do that night.

“Sorry, I’d have knocked if you had a door,” Jay said, too soft, no bite in the words even though Jungwon knew he read the texts.

He had to. Yet, Jay didn’t seem to care. Wouldn’t he care, act different, jealous perhaps if the thought of him dating someone else affected him? He tried imagining Jay going on dates with someone else, but his cheeks flushed. Again.

“Mhm… I should teach you how to handle some reports since Dave has the brain of a duck.”

“Really?”

“Why not? You’re my assistant. You should do more complicated stuff than bringing me coffee.”

Jungwon blinked at his screen, heart thudding louder than any rational reason could excuse. He locked the phone, too late, damage done, and slid it face-down on the desk like that might somehow erase what Jay saw. That it might erase the waves of shame washing over him. Violently.

“You okay?” Jay asked, still leaning, but now with one hand braced on the desk. He glanced at the laptop screen, not the phone. But it felt like a lie. They both knew what he saw. It didn’t have to be a big deal. But it was. Because he couldn’t just wash the night before, casually watching the night sky side by side with him.

“Yeah,” Jungwon said, voice flat.

Jay’s gaze flicked toward the phone. Just once. Not long enough to be called staring, but just enough to make Jungwon’s chest tighten.

“You don’t have to,” Jungwon said.

“What?”

“Teach me. The reports. I mean, Dave might have duck-for-brains, but I’m not exactly…”

“You’re smart,” Jay said. “Just untrained.”

That should’ve made him feel good. Instead, it felt like being given a gold star for participation. Another golden moment of feeling like a 5 year old spelling his name in capital letters on a piece of paper. Jay straightened up, crossing his arms loosely.

“And you’ll be bored out of your mind on a Friday if all you’re doing is… what? Hanging out with your boyfriend?”

“I don’t… Heeseung’s not my boyfriend.”

“Right,” Jay said. “Well. Whatever he is, don’t let him distract you from work.”

There it was. Cold. Neutral. Dismissive.

And it stung.

Jungwon forced a smile, but it felt tight. “You sound like my dad.”

Jay shrugged, the faintest smile tugging at his lips. “Maybe your dad and I would get along.”

“Doubt it. He’s Catholic.”

Jay laughed at that, low and tired. Perhaps he scored some kind of point, even if he wasn’t sure what game they were playing. Who pretented better at caring less?

“I’ll send you the files,” Jay said, turning to go.

And then, right at the threshold of Jungwon’s desk, he added, “Just… let me know if you need help with anything. Work or not.”

That “or not” hung in the air long after Jay walked away; Jungwon didn’t touch his phone for another ten minutes.

Then, finally, he replied:

Jungwon: your place is better actually. need to get out of my head.

Heeseung’s place was very him , if their date had given Jungwon any indication. Small, not particularly tidy, but not dirty either; a faint smell of food clung to the couch, and the carpet was a questionable pukey color.

“Well, this is my lair. That sounded so wrong. Sorry. Uh… my modest apartment, at your disposal,” Heeseung said, making a courteous bow, arm extended, before closing the door and resting a hand on Jungwon’s hip.

“I kept thinking about you. And the kiss. A lot about the kiss, actually.”

“Don’t inflate my ego too much,” Jungwon said, smiling as he leaned in to kiss him.

Heeseung was much taller than him, and just as Jungwon tiptoed to reach his mouth, Heeseung pulled the most romantic cliché in the book: he lifted him just enough to press him against the door, legs around his waist.

“Really wanted to do this.”

“In general or—?”

“To you.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“The whole romantic lead in a Netflix original thing,” Jungwon said, quirking a brow. “Careful, I might start expecting flowers.”

“You asked,” Heeseung said, and leaned in fully before Jungwon could open his mouth to speak again.

The kiss was firm, different from the one on Saturday; not soft, not slow, but like Heeseung had been replaying it in his head all day and finally hit play . Jungwon let himself sink into it, lips parting, fingers curling into the fabric at Heeseung’s shoulders. He was warm, persistent, hands sliding under Jungwon’s shirt, fingers digging right near his hips.

“You’re very grabby for someone who was nervous last date,” Jungwon said against his mouth.

“Is that a complaint?”

“Did I sound like I was complaining?” Jungwon asked, already kissing him again, harder this time.

A bad thought coiled in his mind like a hissing snake, ready to bite.

Would Jay kiss him like that?

All he could see when he closed his eyes was Jay’s face in the living room, drinking from the wine bottle.

Heeseung pressed him harder against the door, thumbs brushing over his ribs. Jungwon let out a surprised breath, teeth accidentally clicking when he smiled mid-kiss.

“You taste like wine… and a bit too much ego.”

“And you talk too much,” Heeseung said.

“I don’t think you mind it.”

“I don’t… I find it kind of hot.”

They kissed again, Jungwon’s head bumping against the door a couple of times as Heeseung carried him toward the bedroom.

“My arms are about to fall off.”

“I’m fat?”

“Shut up.”

And as Heeseung dropped him on the bed, Jungwon wondered if there was any coming back from this.

Because as he watched him undress, shirt, sweats, socks, he couldn’t help but wonder.

Maybe it was the little devil on his shoulder, whispering, nudging him to be bad.

Thoughts never hurt anyone, right? Innocent little fantasies.

“Earth to Jungwon. Am I too handsome? You’ve gone silent,” Heeseung said, kneeling in front of him.

“Sorry. I was staring at your abs.”

Half a lie. He was staring at his abs, but with a different head copy-pasted above those shoulders.

“Undress,” Heeseung said, voice low.

“I don’t have… those,” Jungwon said, finger tracing the contours of his muscles.

“I like whatever you’ve got. Need help?”

“Depends.”

He took off his shirt, holding in his stomach just in case lunch decided to make a surprise reappearance.

The pants were easier, less skin to be self-conscious about.

“So…”

“I think I can live with this.”

“You think?”

“Stop answering in questions,” Heeseung said, laughing as he pressed him into the pillows.

“Will you spank me?”

“Not unless you want me to.”

“Maybe…”

He pulled off his boxers as smoothly as possible, trying to avoid unnecessary friction against the sheets. But when it came to shimmying them off his legs, Jungwon felt like an overly exposed worm.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“I’m not that beautiful.”

Heeseung leaned in, settling between his spread legs, and kissed him just below the ear, then down his neck.

It tickled, a sharp burst of laughter escaped his lips as Heeseung bit the place between his shoulder and neck.

It felt good.

Pleasant, even; the way Heeseung kissed and touched his body, how his fingers were light, gentle, roaming across his chest, playing with his nipples.

Eyes closed, Jungwon focused on the feeling of it all.

The softness. The care.

But he wanted more.

Craved more.

And the words got stuck; not in his throat, but somewhere in his ribcage.

He didn’t want to scare him. Didn’t know how to ask for more; not softer, but rougher. Not slower, but now .

So instead, Jungwon grabbed a handful of Heeseung’s hair and pulled; not hard enough to hurt, just enough.

Enough to make him pause.

Enough to bring him back up and kiss him again; messily.

He kissed him, tongue slipping inside his mouth, teeth pulling his lower lip, fingers trailing lower and lower.

“Stand up,” Jungwon said, voice hoarser than he had intended.

“Yes, sir,” Heesung said, grinning; but his grin disappeared, mouth shaped like an O when Jungwon knelt in front of him.

His knees hurt, red, but he welcomed the pain as he placed Heesung’sn hands on his head.

He looked up, just briefly, and the way Heesung stared down at him made all seven hells crack open underneath him for the thoughts he entartained.

He brushed his mouth over the soft skin just below Heesung’s hipbone first, slow, letting his breath warm it. Heesung shivered, his fingers flexing in Jungwon’s hair. Harder, rougher; but he said nothing, because Heesung wouldn’t, not like that, not in the way he wanted.

Then he kissed him through his boxers, letting his tongue drag over soft skin as he moved lower, to his thighs. Freshly shaved. Just a few prickly hairs right above the waistband.

“Fuck—don’t tease,” Heesung said.

Jungwon didn’t answer, only pressed a kiss just above the waistband before he finally tugged the clothing down. He wrapped one hand around the base, thumb tracing the vein along the underside, feeling the heat, the way Heesung’s whole body tensed when he finally leaned in and flattened his tongue against the tip.

Heesung let out a groan, head tipping back. His hands tightened in Jungwon’s hair, but he didn’t force him. Just held him there; he wanted Heesung to push him, fuck his mouth until tears rolled across his cheeks.

He didn’t.

Jungwon closed his lips around him and sank down, slow, inch by inch, feeling the stretch in his jaw, the ache. He didn’t rush.

When he pulled back, he sucked harder, hollowing his cheeks just to hear Heesung’s voice, his breathe turning faster, shallower. His other hand came up, stroking what he couldn’t take; his nose turned runny, it was harder to breath as his vision blurred from tears.

“God—fuck, Jungwon—”

He didn’t look up again. He couldn’t. His eyes fluttered shut, and he focused only on the feel of it: his cock against his tongue, the way Heesung’s thighs trembled.

His hips bucked, just once, and he let it happen, let him slide deeper, let himself choke around it, tears pricking hot at the corners of his eyes. He swallowed again, throat working.

One of Heesung’s hands slid shakily to his cheek, thumb brushing just under his eye, catching the tear before it fell.

“Baby—fuck, you—”

Jungwon didn’t stop, didn’t slow. His hand tightened, stroking in time with the wet pull of his mouth. He moaned low in his throat, but didn’t see him before his eyes. It was Jay. Fucking Jay, in his black shirt, standing above him. Jay, moaning his name. Jay.

“Shit—gonna—”

Jungwon sucked harder, letting it hit the back of his throat until his felt like puking; he breathed around it, focusing on the pain in his knees, the hands in his hair. He felt the way Heesung’s grip turned harsher in his hair, the way his breath stuttered.

When he came, it was oddly quiet, hips jerking, knees trembling. Jungwon swallowed again, throat raw, eyes squeezed shut.

He stayed there, breathing hard, chest tight, forehead resting against Heesung’s hip. His jaw ached. His throat felt raw.

“Fuck, that was… when did you learn to do that?” Heesung asked as he pulled him up by the elbows.

“College mostly. Don’t trust the cute face.”

He smiled, cupping his cheek, and kissed him on the lips.

“Salty. Come on, let me finish what I—“

“It’s alright. I already…” Jungwon said, glancing down at his pants.

He hadn’t finished, not even touched himself but he didn’t notice.

“Oh. Right.”

“I’ll go clean up.”

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Flushed cheeks, watery eyes, hair that looked like it had been styled by a blender.

But Jungwon couldn’t really look at himself. Not like that. Not when it was obvious what he’d just done.

Sex.

So he focused instead on a bright red pimple forming on his forehead. A blackhead on his cheek. Some dry skin flaking on the bridge of his nose.

“Hot. Really nailing that post-coital glow,” he said, slapping his cheeks like it might fix something.

He turned the water on and let it run longer than necessary, just to drown out his thoughts, and maybe, if he was lucky, the devil perched on his shoulder.

“Fuck,” he whispered, gripping the edge of the sink. “A+ for effort. Impeccable blowjob skills. God, stop talking to yourself. He’ll think I’m weird. Too weird.”

When Jungwon finally emerged from the bathroom, he wasn’t a new man, just a guy with a freshly squeezed, angry red pimple blooming right in the center of his forehead. The cherry on top.

“Took you a while. Jeez, what happened to your face?”

“Impromptu facial. Please stop staring at it.”

“It’s cute,” Heeseung said, reaching over to pull him back into bed. “You’re cute but… kinky as well.”

“I’m going back if you—”

“Alright, alright. No more compliments. What about complements ?”

Jungwon sighed, rolled his eyes, but kissed him anyway.

“So…”

“So… want to watch something?”

“Sure,” Jungwon said, settling back against the headboard. “I’m not picky. You choose.”

A lie. Not even a good one. Not even half a lie.

Jay always let him pick the movies. Even when they were terrible. Sat beside him stuffing popcorn into his mouth, reenacting the most absurd scenes with unnecessary commitment while Jungwos

“I love medical dramas,” Heeseung said, opening Netflix. “There’s this new one I wanted to see.”

“Sounds perfect.”

It didn’t.

Jay would never willingly sit through a medical drama.

The thoughts returned, fast and sharp. What did he even have in common with Heeseung? Not even a six-pack. He couldn’t name one solid thing, but maybe that’s how it worked. Maybe love came later.

Still… it was too easy to think of Jay, Satan, Mr. Park, and rattle off a list.

Life with Louie. Bad movies. Cooking, or attempting to.

Getting drunk and naming fake constellations.

Heeseung kissed his cheek. Sweet, light.

“I’ve been thinking…” he whispered against his ear.

“Thinking is good. Keeps dementia a—”

“Not that. You’re ruining my Netflix rom-com moment,” Heeseung said, tugging him closer. “I’ve been thinking about… us. Would it be weird if I said I think we should be a couple? Not just dating.”

“Oh.”

“That’s a—”

“No, I mean… are you sure it’s not just the post-orgasm euphoria talking?”

“I had the same thought before the orgasm. So no.”

“Yeah. Why not? Couple.”

Jungwon stared at the screen. At the actors in their blue scrubs.

Was it that simple? Just a question, and now, the word he’d been spiraling around for days.

Couple.

They were a couple.

He barely knew him. And yet Heeseung liked him. Wanted him.

“Let’s watch if you—”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Jungwon really tried. He did. Tried to keep his eyes open, to follow along.

But failed.

He was asleep fifteen minutes in.

Heeseung didn’t say anything. Just let him sleep.

Yeji smelled it from a mile away, like a hunting dog tracking the post-coital glow. And that violently red spot on his forehead? It might as well have been a scarlet letter. He should’ve called in sick. Sick of himself, of stupid, rash decisions.

“Someone got laid,” Yeji said from the reception desk, red nails tapping the shiny counter.

“How would you even know that?”

“So you’re not denying it. I was right,” she said, grinning.

“Just a hunch?”

“You always watch the memes I send you before bed. You didn’t last night. Actually… you haven’t for a while. So… how was it?”

“Fine,” Jungwon said, yawning. “I’m running late. Early”-

“I’m sure Satan is already burning some poor soul in Hell already. He said good-bye yesterday. He never does that. Maybe he’s getting laid too.”

“Yeji… that image ingrained in my brain while I have to be serious in the meeting.”

“Then don’t be serious. What he’ll do? Poke you with a fork?”

“No. With public humiliation.”

Jay let him present the report he’d spent the week cradling like a newborn baby, without interrupting once. He didn’t even make a remark that the font on the third slide was not the same size as the rest. Or that he kept picking at his forehead monstrosity.

“Well, opinions? Dave, come on. You’ve been quieter than usual,” Jay said when Jungwon sat down.

“I don’t understand why he handled the accruals and GAP reports, no offense.”

“Because it takes you twice as long.”

“He has no accounting back ground. No offense.”

Jungwon tried to smile. Really tried.

“You don’t either, if I remember right. Weren’t you in customer service before this?” Jay said.

Silence. Not a single word.

The quiet fell and the drill began buzzing again, closer to the conference room than before; an oversized fly flew over their heads.

Jungwon waited until everyone emptied the room, except for Jay and the fly. He stared at the screen, his fingers, tapped his foot, cleared his throat. Too many times.

“Stop babying me in front of them.”

“I didn’t baby you.”

“If Dave made that presen”-

“Dave’s been working in this company for 10 years and does a lousy job. It’s your first big report. Yeah, I saw the font, and why did you keep scratching that zit? Your entire forehead is red for the matter. You trembled, your voice was shaky, you kept looking down at the screen and you messed up a table. Happy? Is this the feedback you wanted?” Jay asked and stood up, the chair screeching on the tiles.

“I don’t know.”

“Then don’t tell me how to do my job.”

“You’re pissed.”

“I’m fine, Jungwon.”

“Can we… hang out today?”

“No. I have stuff to do. The whole week, actually. Nevermind. I’ll send you some things to look over, I need you to do some digging on some cases Paula’s been bugging me about all month.”

“Right. Send them over,” Jungwon muttered, yanking at his still-plugged-in laptop. The charging cable snagged behind him, nearly ripping the socket from the wall.

“Crap.”

“Yeah, crap. Take five. Drink some coffee. Or don’t. You get hyper and start pacing like a raccoon on Red Bull.”

He’d never asked Jay to hang out like that before. Had he ever actually asked at all? It was always an excuse, Lucifer, a favor, a cryptic text from Jay that only implied he wanted company.

Now, Jungwon stood in front of the mirror, staring at his forehead. He tried covering it with his hair, but the result looked like someone had dumped a half-dry mop over his head.

No post-coital glow. Just regret.

His phone buzzed and he nearly smashed it against the wall.

Heeseung: how did the presentation go? I’m sure everyone loved it

Jungwon groaned. Typed something loathsome, even for him. Deleted it.

Attempt two: too sarcastic. Deleted.

Attempt three: safe. Cold. Neutral.

Jungwon: went well. dave was upset but oh well

Jungwon: how’s your day?

 

Then, when he thought that all his murderous thoughts involving his phone had all vanished, it buzzed again. Just like the fly in the meeting room.

“What now?!” he said, and opened the text.

Jay: You okay?

He didn’t even think about it as he typed;  one word, two letters. Short.

Jungwon: No.

Jay: Wait for me after work in the parking lot.

Jay: Don’t tell Yeji.

Jay: I know you call me Satan btw.

Jungwon wouldn’t have told her anyway, not because he didn’t trust her (a little doubtful on that front), but because, as he waited behind the black G-Wagon, he cycled through an extensive range of emotions: guilt, anxiety, impatience, fear. And, unfortunately, excitement.

By the time Jay pulled up, guilt was losing the battle. Anxiety was winning.

“Get in.”

“Yes, chief.”

“Just call me Satan already,” Jay said, smiling faintly. “Who came up with that, anyway?”

Jungwon shut the door, clipped his seatbelt, and gulped. Then gulped again.

“Oh no. Don’t tell me it was you.”

“I said nothing.”

“Exactly. Your silence gave it away. I always blamed Yeji, but now…” Jay shook his head. “You were the one tortured by the Devil himself.”

Jungwon groaned, rolling his eyes. “Did Dave tell you?”

“Dave too? Jesus. Who doesn’t call me Satan?”

“The other department?” Jungwon said, half-laughing.

But anxiety was quickly replaced by something else. Confusion bloomed as Jay turned up the music, tapping the steering wheel. He’d never noticed the watch before. Or the way Jay’s slacks bunched slightly at the top of his thighs when he drove.

“It was just a joke,” Jungwon said. “But Yeji kept using it and… it kind of stuck.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“And be the whistleblower?”

“I made you pasta.”

“I helped… why am I here with you?”

Jay exhaled sharply. Not annoyed. Just… tired.

“You said you were busy. Now suddenly you’re not.”

“I am busy. Still am. Will be.” Jay glanced at him. “But Lucifer misses you.”

“That’s it?”

Jay didn’t answer right away. Just watched the street ahead. “And I was… maybe too harsh today.”

“So this is a pity party.”

“There’s no party. And I don’t feel sorry for you… Shouldn’t you be making out with your new boyfriend instead of hanging out with Satan?”

“Stop saying Satan.”

“Satan, Satan, Satan.”

Jungwon expected a drive. Anywhere else. A bar. A random overlook. A pitstop to pretend things weren’t weird and he hadn’t been thinking about him while he gave Heeseung a blowjob.

But when the G-Wagon turned into that familiar street, the pit in his stomach deepened.

“You’re taking me home?”

Jay didn’t answer. Just turned up the volume to an insufferable level, like the song booming from the speakers mattered more than the question.

“Lucifer needs feeding.”

“Bullshit.”

Jay smirked. “You’re right. He’s probably had two bowls already. But he misses you.”

They pulled into the driveway. Jungwon stared at the porch light, flickering slightly. Like it knew something he didn’t.

Jay got out first. Didn’t open the door for him (it wasn’t a date) but he waited by the front steps. Jungwon followed.

“Don’t make it weird,” Jay said, unlocking the door.

“Too late.”

Inside, it smelled the same. Cheap pine-scented floor cleaner. Dog. Dog fur flying through the air even though Lucifer barely had a coat. Coffee that had probably sat cold in the machine since morning. The lights were dim. A single lamp in the corner. Familiar. Too familiar. He’d only been there Sunday, getting drunk on cheap wine. With him; that was the problem: him. Standing right in front of him.

Lucifer barked once from the living room and trotted up to greet Jungwon like nothing had changed.

“So, I have cup noodles and… cup noodles.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“I saw you eating those one day and actually, they’re not so bad. So, spicy or mild?”

“Mild. Shitting myself is the last thing on my list today.”

“Soo…” Jay said as he put water in the kettle, leaning over the kitchen counter. “What’s bothering that mind?”

Jungwon groaned again, a recurring occurrence at that point. Lucifer jumped into his arms, wet, small snout pressing into his wrist.

“Alright, alright, The Kids from Room 402 it is. God, you’re demanding. You know the guy I went on a date with, right?”

“Not personally, but yes.”

“Need visual representation?”

Jay shrugged, but came closer.

“There. It’s the best photo I found.”

“He’s handsome. Let me guess—you should like him in theory, but your weird brain can’t seem to, because… he’s too nice and you’re only attracted to emotionally repressed people that give you just enough attention to keep you hooked.”

“Are you playing shrink with me?”

“Older and wiser adult in your life,” Jay said as he poured the hot water over the cup noodles.

“…ugh, he’s too nice. Says all the right things. I should love it. Treats me well. Is not a creep…” Jungwon said, pressing a pillow against his face. “What is wrong with me?!”

“Nothing. You’re just not that into him. That’s all. Was the sex any good?”

“You mean the blowjob?”

“Still counts as sex.”

“Fine. He liked it.”

“Did you like it? Did it turn you on, or did you just do it because you felt like you needed to?”

“Stop playing shrink. Just pretend you’re my boss and this is a work assessment.”

“I am your boss.”

Jungwon sighed.

“Look… you can have the most mind-blowing sex and the relationship could still implode.”

“So… that’s what happened to you?”

“Secret. $100,000 and I might tell you.”

“Then tell me why I can’t come over anymore.”

“$1,000,000. Your cup noodles. Don’t burn yourself.”

“Keep your secrets. I open my poor soul for you here and you can’t even—”

“Stop being dramatic.”

“But. Let’s just imagine. I am me, you are Heeseung, and Heeseung is you.”

“Switch places?”

“Right. So. If you were Heeseung and I came to hang out with Jay, my boss, after work, without telling Heeseung… how would you react?”

Jay shrugged. “I’m not Heeseung. Second of all… depends. If I knew they were friends, then I see no issue, but it’s odd I wouldn’t know.”

“Are we… friends?”

“You tell me.”

“God. Go on… with the hypothetical situation.”

“If I knew Jungwon might have feelings for this Jay character and doesn’t tell me they’re hanging out, then yeah… I’d be pretty pissed. And jealous.”

“Right…”

“So, which one is it?” Jay asked.

“What… which?”

“Which hypothetical situation are you in now? The first or the second? Does he have a reason to be pissed?”

“Stop answering with more questions.”

“Break up with him. It’s that simple. No kids. You barely know him. Rip the bandaid while the wound is still fresh. The longer you keep lying to him, and yourself, the worse it gets. I speak from experience.”

“I like him.”

“But not enough.”

“Love comes with—”

“Jungwon, we’re not talking about love here, are we? If you didn’t think about it, you wouldn’t have asked. Or ignored your phone since we left work.”

“It’s just… he’s so… sweet.”

“So you want someone who yells at you?”

“No. Yes. No. I don’t know what I want.”

“I can answer that for you.”

“Do you read minds now?”

“Only yours. You want what you cannot have. It excites you: the chase. Knowing you can’t fully have someone means you’re safe, because you can’t go past surface level… or that’s what you tell yourself. Heeseung bores you because it’s all on the table. Clear as day that he wants you. Likes you. And this gives you power over him. But maybe… you want someone else to hold power over you.”

“How much is the session?” Jungwon asked.

“Fuck off. Am I right? Because I know I am.”

“So who do I want then, if you can read my mind so well?”

Jay smiled, but didn’t respond.

“Give that, you’re staining the table.”

“Deflecting the subject.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You fuck off.”

“I have ice cream.”

“Just answer the question. Who do I want?”

“Clearly not Heeseung, if you’re here.”

Something stank. Terribly.

Jungwon looked around, sniffing the air as elegantly as possible—if checking for one’s own farts in public could be considered classy.

But then both of their eyes darted toward the kitchen.

Lucifer. Sprawled in the middle of the carpet, noodle cup knocked over, sitting in his own diarrhea like it was a badge of honor.

In that moment, as they stared into Lucifer’s eyes and then down at the rapidly growing, stinking puddle beneath him, Jungwon felt like puking himself.

“He ate the fucking spicy noodles,” Jay said.

But he didn’t move.

Neither of them did.

“You take him from there. He’s your dog.”

“He’s covered in—”

“Shit? No kidding. God, I need air. I need air,” Jungwon said, bolting to the front door. “I’m getting sick.”

“Don’t puke on the other carpet or I’ll kill you.”

“Just take the spawn of evil.”

“He’s covered in—”

“You’ve already said that,” Jungwon snapped, glancing back just in time to see Lucifer projectile another hot, stinking stream of half-digested cup noodles.

“God. Fucking hell. I can’t put him in the car like this.”

“A bowl?”

“Move,” Jay said, pushing Jungwon aside as they both half-collapsed onto the porch, gasping at the semi-fresh air.

“I swear he was on your lap.”

“He was… I’ll grab a big bowl, you grab Lucifer, and we go to the hospital.”

“You hold him in the bowl.”

“What if he shits all over me?”

“I’ll buy you a new soul.”

“And a new set of eyes.”

“Just… grab the bowl. And don’t puke,” Jay said, right before he vomited all over the porch, clutching his stomach with both hands.

“God…” Jungwon whispered, mouth watering, and not in the good, sexy kind, as bitter bile coated the back of his throat.

He wouldn’t have considered puking in tandem while a hot-dog-sized dog shat in the kitchen to be one of the pinnacles of romantic tension. But as he carried Lucifer in a bowl and Jay opened all four windows in the car, he changed his mind.

There was nothing romantic about it. Not in the way Lucifer kept farting. Not in the way Jay wheezed beside him, one small jolt away from puking all over the steering wheel.

But it was.

He glanced at Jay, his sweaty forehead, his crumpled, stained shirt, his red eyes and trembling fingers, and smiled.

“He’ll be alright,” the doctor said. “Irritable colon syndrome. The spicy food had a laxative effect on his bowels.”

“Right. Very laxative,” Jay said from the green, shiny chair. “Can we take him home?”

We , not I .

It was plural. Familiar.

We , like Lucifer was theirs and not just Jay’s. Like they were part of something Jungwon couldn’t quite name.

Can we.

The words looped in his mind as he held a sleeping Lucifer in his arms on the drive back. Jay didn’t take him home, he took him back to the house, like it was natural. He handed him a bucket of water, bleach, a sponge, and bright pink plastic gloves, and asked him to scrub.

So he scrubbed.

Grateful, at least, that the bleach masked most of the stench.

And when the wet stain was replaced by a wider, bleached one, Jay let out a sigh.

He was drenched in sweat. His clothes were ruined.

“Well…” Jay said, glancing at him. “Thanks for the help.”

“Yeah… no problem,” Jungwon said, peeling off the gloves. “I offer dog sitting and dog shit cleaning services in my spare time.”

His fingers were wrinkled like raisins.

Damp. Smelling of plastic.

But Jay kept looking at him. And he kept looking at Jay, the chlorine burning his nostrils in the unsexiest way. He knew it was stupid. Stupid, reckless, and selfish.

He knew it.

And he still did it.

Because if not then, after Hell had literally broken loose right on that very carpet, then when?

Jungwon dragged his knees over the dry spots left on the floor and stopped right in front of Jay.

He’d played this moment in his head a million times, in a million different variations.

Bent over Jay’s desk, his shadow visible through the frosted glass, as Jay pulled down his pants and spanked him.

Pinned between Jay and a wall, fingers wrapped around his tie.

In the back of his car, straddling his legs.

Kneeling in front of him, Jay’s hands in his hair, fully dressed while he sat naked on the floor.

But not there.

Not on a bleached carpet with a farting, sleeping dog on the couch beside them; not when his fingers were like prunes and his heart was thumping out of his chest; not when his tongue felt like sandpaper.

Jay didn’t push him away when he placed his hands on his shoulders, lightly.

Didn’t snap or tell him to stop as Jungwon leaned in and kissed him.

His lips were soft, mouth slightly open.

Jay’s arms wrapped slowly around his middle, one hand moving up to cradle the back of his head.

It was sweet.

Soft.

More than a peck.

Not quite a makeout.

“Fuck, sorry,” Jungwon said. His eyes were still closed.

“Yeah… sorry. You should… probably go home.”

“Do you want that?”

“No,” Jay said, letting go. “But you should. You asked me that hypothetical question. I think you know your answer now.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. Thanks for the help… It’s better if you don’t come over for a while. I have some… stuff to deal with.”

“Is this the nice way of saying I crossed a line and now—”

“No. If you crossed a line, I would’ve stopped you. I didn’t…. Want me to drive you home?”

“No. Stay with Lucifer.”

Chapter Text

Jungwon couldn’t look at himself in the mirror that morning without a wave of disgust and shame washing over him in hot, sweaty bursts. He didn’t look at Yeji either, even as she waved a little too enthusiastically.

“Morning, sourpuss.”

“Not in the mood.”

“Trouble in paradise with the new beau?”

“No. Didn’t sleep well.”

“Right,” Yeji said, grinning. “Didn’t sleep because you had too much fun?”

“Drop it. I didn’t have fun. I don’t have a beau. So stop asking.”

“Alright…” she said, her grin slipping into something softer. “Sorry. I just thought you’d be a little more cheerful.”

“I’m not. Happy?” he snapped. “I’m not cheerful, and I broke up with Heesung by text at 1 a.m. because I was too much of a coward to say it to his face. There. One more thing to regret at 9 in the morning.”

Yeji didn’t even respond. Just stared at him. And somehow, that was worse than all the teasing in the world. First place for stupid choices made in under twenty-four hours; Jungwon wanted to slap that on his forehead for everyone to see.

Heesung had only responded with Ok . Nothing else. No long paragraph begging for forgiveness, no “what did I do?”; just Ok , like it barely mattered. And maybe it really didn’t.

He’d seen Heesung a total of three times, gave him a half-hearted blow job, and pretended he didn’t have a vendetta against medical dramas.

Yet Jungwon wanted to rip his own skin off and scream.

“Jesus,” she finally said. “You need a priest and a therapist.”

“Thanks. And a new brain if you can make a quick delivery. This one stopped working.”

He hid from Jay, or perhaps Jay hid from him; no shadow behind the frosted glass, no Slack message or coffee run to the kitchen.

“Day off?” Jungwon asked, rubbing his temples.

“I thought you’d be happy,” Yeji said, leaning over his desk. “Dave said you’re the new favorite in Hell.”

“I’m not.”

“He was pissed.”

“Oh come on, you got under Satan’s skin. The little pure angel. It’s… very Shakespeare like.”

“It’s not. I need a vacation.”

“Don’t we all.”

It wasn’t freeing that Jay was off; in fact, the opposite. Jungwon felt like a lobster being boiled alive. No text message, no anything, just gone in a shroud of silence. And Jungwon fought the urge to send him a message, ask if he was alright. Whether he was upset with him. Avoiding him like the plague. But he kept staring at the screen, checking if Jay was active. He wasn’t. There was no sign, not that day, not the next and not even on Friday.

No Jay.

Not a Slack ping, not even a passive-aggressive Google Doc comment.

“He’ll come back,” Yeji said. “Maybe he just needed a reset. You know… boss stuff. Power nap. Purge of emotion. Maybe a yoga retreat all rich dudes do at some point to align his chakras. Why are you so worried about him, anyway?”

It was quiet, too quiet, and Jungwon from 7 months ago would have sighed in relief at the thought of some well-deserved peace and quiet.

Yet his chest felt heavier.

His mind raced.

His pulse spiked each time he saw a man wearing a black shirt walking down the hallway. It wasn’t him.

And the weekend passed while Jungwon barely stood up from the bed to pee or rummage the fridge for something not expired to eat; why did it feel like another break-up when there wasn’t even anything to break up from?

He’d seen Jay almost every single day for the past seven months.

Now it felt like withdrawal.

When Monday rolled around, he caught a glimpse of him, downing a cup of coffee like it was a shot of alcohol. Quick. Methodical. Rushed. His shirt was rumpled, hair disheveled, slacks covered in tiny specks of white fur.

Jay.

He only offered a short, cold “Morning” before disappearing into his office and shutting the door.

Jay never shut the door.

Not even when he was pissed; not even when Dave sent the wrong report for the sixth time.

Jungwon groaned, forehead hitting his desk.

Had he really destroyed a perfectly decent relationship, with a stable, open, no-games kind of guy, because of an emotionally constipated, cold, unpredictable man formerly known as Satan?

He knocked on the door. Waited. Counted to ten in his head. Waited some more, like a wet puppy left outside.

“It’s me… Jungwon.”

“I’m busy.”

“I see your shadow,” he said. “You’ve been staring at your phone for the last… fifteen minutes.”

“Come in. Close the door,” Jay said flatly, barely looking up.

He had deep purple eye bags. A zit right on the tip of his nose. The office stank of stale cigarettes.

“Are you okay?” Jungwon asked, lingering by the door, balancing from one foot to the other.

“Yes. Tired. Nothing to worry about. Get back to your work.”

“You don’t seem fine. And you can’t fool me.”

“I’m not trying to fool you, Jungwon. I’m just not in the mood for you to play therapist with me.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Good. Then go back to work.”

Jungwon turned, hand on the doorknob, then stopped.

“You’re pushing me away after”-

“It’s not about you, alright?” Jay said. “Not everything is about you.”

“I know that. I was just… worried. You disappeared for almost a week, then show up acting like this—”

“Because it has nothing to do with you,” Jay said, voice higher. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need you worrying about me. I’m your boss. Not your friend.”

“You didn’t say that the last time we hung out. When I…”

Jay closed his eyes, pressing his fingers to his forehead until the spot turned red.

“My mother drank herself into the ER Wednesday morning,” he said. “It’s the tenth time this year.”

A pause. Heavy. Awful.

“Is that enough for you?”

Jungwon swallowed.

He opened his mouth. Closed it again. What would you say to that? Sorry your mom keeps drinking herself half to death?

Instead, he just said, “Yeah… it’s enough.”

And left.

He didn’t quite know how to make it better, because Jay was right. Like always.

He’d always run at the first sign of a cracked surface, when things got too real, too ugly, and the mirage risked breaking.

He never waited. Never stuck around long enough to watch it happen; he walked away while it was still safe.

But was Jay still safe?

He went on with his day like his eyes hadn’t been locked on Jay’s office all morning.

Like he hadn’t just walked three blocks to buy an overpriced salmon and cream cheese sandwich and left it on his desk without saying a word.

He bought one for himself too, in solidarity, but hated every bite of it. It was like chewing on wet cardboard with a fishy aftertaste.

He didn’t expect Jay to emerge from his office, nose red and inflamed, and stop by his desk. But he did.

“Thanks… for the food. And, uh, sorry. I was an ass. I… I know you had good intentions. I know I should’ve kept things professional, and I didn’t, and I probably shouldn’t be having this monologue in a hallway where the walls have ears. I just… I don’t want you to see that part of my life, okay?”

“Why?”

“Because…” Jay turned on his heel, turned back, sighed. “Let’s just talk in the car. I can practically feel Yeji’s breath on my neck.”

But in the car, Jungwon felt the space shrink. Too close. Too quiet. Too easy to say something stupid. Or worse: to mean it.

“I’m sorry,” Jay said, not looking at him. “I’m sorry about Heesung. And maybe I was at fault, not keeping things professional. I don’t know what got into me, asking you to dogsit Lucifer. He’s not afraid to be alone at night. I just… wanted you near. But not so near you’d see that my life’s a mess. That I’m a mess. I liked having you think I was cool.”

“I broke up with him. Through a text.”

Jay blinked. “Oh… was that because of the kiss?”

“Not only. But yeah. Also because of the kiss.”

“That Sunday, when you came over, it was a date. I just didn’t say it in case you got scared.”

“You should’ve told me. I wouldn’t have gone out with Heesung if…”

“I didn’t know that… And now it’s…my mother lives with me. The house is a disaster. I can barely focus at work, and I’m sure your zit curse followed me.”

“So what? I don’t like you just because you look too good in black shirts and boss me around.”

“Then why?”

“Because… you’re soft under that shell,” Jungwon said, poking his arm lightly. “You let me play my stupid movies. You listen to me ramble. You cook for me. You teach me stuff at work and you stood up for me in front of Dave.”

Jay looked down, somewhere between smiling and retreating.

“You weren’t sure about Heesung, but you’re sure about… whatever this is? You’re weird. Really weird.”

“I’m not sure about this either…”

Jay laughed, gripping the wheel tighter, knuckles white.

“We should get going. The last thing I want is some juicy office gossip that I’m screwing my assistant in the car. That would go so nicely with the alcoholic mother subplot.”

“Well, that could be a good intro for our porno movie.”

“Please don’t,” Jay said, hitting his head on the steering wheel. “We can start a career on Pornhub or something.”

“With my ass and your sass we’d”-

“Stop talking.”

“We’d be loaded.”

He started the engine, driving the car out of the garage, as Jungwon couldn’t stop a stupid smile because perhaps Jay did care about him. Perhaps he had missed him. A little. It was enough.

Jungwon opened the oven and coughed as smoke enveloped him; a deathly cloud of shame and failure.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I need a fucking glove. Where the fuck did I put the gloves?!”

He scurried around, opening every cabinet until he found a lonely baking glove, half-covered in flour. The cherry spongecake was supposed to be a honey color with splotches of red and brown from the cocoa. Instead, the crust was mostly black, with some not-so-burnt bits poking through. It smelled burnt. It tasted positively burnt, with a faint tinge of cherry, but it was edible, if three-quarters of your taste buds were dead.

“All right. It’ll have to do.”

He cut it, burning his fingers in the process, and pressed it into a casserole.

Who knew that falling in love with someone meant testing your ability to burn down a kitchen twice in one day?

Falling in love.

Jungwon pretended those three words didn’t exist in his mind or vocabulary; so there was no falling in love. Just a fall from grace.

Because nothing had changed. And yet everything had, little by little.

Jay came over to his apartment from time to time, Lucifer in his arms, inspecting every inch of the kitchen. But that progress did come accompanied with a tirade of grumbling, protests and half-assed excuses until Jay stopped complaining and showed up. Jungwon let him. Like his owner, Lucifer had developed a guilty pleasure of curling up on Jungwon’s bed, hidden among the pillows and sheets.

Jungwon walked Lucifer. Helped Jay with groceries, even when he grumbled that he didn’t need supervision. He cooked, badly.

But he never stepped inside Jay’s house. That was the line. The threshold. Maybe the hallway.

So no, Jungwon wasn’t falling in love. Of course he wasn’t. Jay just needed some TLC from his non-friend-friend-employee on a regular basis. Totally ordinary. Part of the assitant package of daily surprises.

The doorbell rang.

“Took you a while,” he said, smiling.

“God, did you try to set this place on fire?” Jay asked, waving a hand. “Jesus, Jungwon, there’s smoke. What the fuck were you trying to do? Kill yourself?”

“Make a… spongecake?”

“God.”

Yet, with all the half-mouthed mumbling, Jay ate half the spongecake without once complaining about the burnt taste, or that the tips of his fingers had turned slightly black. Jungwon watched him, wide-eyed, his smile growing as Jay ate, slice after slice.

“You know, this crust gives it a… special flavor.”

“Just say it tastes burnt. Why did you eat so much?”

Jay shrugged, smiling.

They hadn’t kissed since the diarrhea incident. Jungwon thought about it, replayed it in his mind, without the vomit and stench, just the kiss. Jay’s lips. His touch. And sometimes, when he thought Jay wasn’t looking, Jungwon stared at them, how soft and plump they looked. He watched the way Jay’s muscles flexed under his T-shirt; how pretty his fingers were. How good black looked on him.

“What?” Jay asked.

“Uhm…?”

“You were staring at me.”

Jungwon felt his heartbeat quicken. Too fast. His throat went dry. He shifted closer, until their thighs touched.

It wasn’t the moment. But then again, when was it? His hand rested on Jay’s thigh, not too high but not too low either, just enough to send a message. He licked his lips, suddenly aware of how dry and cracked they really were.

He closed his eyes and leaned in, lips puckered, nothing; no lips, no warm mouth, just nothing. Jungwon opened his eyes.

“Please don’t.”

“What?”

“Kiss me…”

“What made you think I wanted to kiss you?” Jungwon said, trying to drag out some laugh like smoke from the butt of a cigarette; but all he wanted to do was crawl under the sheets and never see the light of day ever again.

“You did… this, with your lips,” Jay said and puckered his mouth in an akward O shape.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway. I should probably clean the kitchen and—”

“Am I taking advantage of you?” Jay asked and held his wrist.

“No… why would you say that?”

Jay sighed, thumb running in circles over his skin; over and over, until Jungwon shivered.

“Because… I know you want more, and I keep dragging you along without giving you anything.”

“We’re friends. Good friends.”

“Good friends don’t kiss each other sometimes… or think about… doing other things.”

“Want to do… what?!” Jungwon asked and freed his wrist from Jay’s; he wasn’t doing that, not the sappy tears trickling down his rosy cheeks bullshit. And not in front of him, like one big, burnt pity party.

“I want you… think about you all the time. Not… in the way friends think about friends. In a… God, this is so difficult,” Jay said, hiding his head in the palms of his hands. “What I’m trying to say, and I fail… is that it’s not that I don’t want to… mhm, kiss you or—God, Jungwon, you make me go crazy sometimes. But I don’t want to fuck it up. Because I know I will. I’m trying to be good, but I think I’m doing more bad.”

Jungwon turned around and lifted his head, two fingers placed underneath Jay’s chin. Straddling his legs, he placed both hands on his shoulders, knees on each side of Jay’s thighs.

“Then don’t be good. Just this time…” Jungwon said, lips close to Jay’s ear.

He’d never seduced anyone before, not intentionally, not like he was trying without bursting into laughter.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Whatever you want with me…”

“Jungwon,” he said, but his hands rested on the small of his back, sliding down to his ass.

“You told me… that you know what I want to feel satisfied. Then give it to me.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, head leaning on the headrest. “You really know how to push my buttons, don’t you?”

“I want it… please.”

“You’re so… acting so innocent when you’re not.”

“Please. Please,” Jungwon said into his ear and rolled his hips down, hard.

“Fuck.”

Jungwon leaned in, lips grazing the edge of his jaw, not quite kissing. Just… waiting. And Jay broke first.

It wasn’t soft. Not like the last time they kissed.

It was open-mouthed and messy; Jay’s tongue slipped into his mouth as he gripped Jungwon’s hips and pulled him flush against him.

Jungwon gasped into the kiss at the friction.

“Fuck…” Jay whispered against his neck. “Let me see you. Take off your shirt.”

“What?”

“Take it off… or I’ll do it for you.”

And Jungwon did as he was told, his skin prickling slightly from the rush of cold air.

“Now the pants. Undress in front of me.”

Jungwon sat up, fingers hooked in the elastic band, grinning as he shimmied them off with a laugh.

“And those. And please, take off your socks.”

“Why? They’re such a sexy piece of clothing.”

“Then keep them on, Mr. Sexy Socks.”

“I’ll take them off. I don’t have a kink for wearing them during…”

“During what?”

“You know,” Jungwon said, his cheeks furiously blushing, suddenly aware of every inch of exposed skin. He sucked in his belly, angling his body to look more shapely; less like a pink-toned cardboard box.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Come here.”

“Aren’t you going to…”

“Undress? Maybe. Maybe not,” Jay said as he pulled him back into his arms.

He kissed him, small, light kisses, starting below his ear, down his neck, to his chest. He ran a finger along Jungwon’s spine, slow and teasing, and Jungwon arched into his touch.

“You like that?” Jay asked, lips hovering over his right nipple. “Tell me what you like.”

“It’s… ugh, I didn’t really think we’d reach this… point.”

“Me neither. You tempted me,” Jay said, kissing his nipple, then licking around it with the tip of his tongue. “You like this?”

“Yeah…” He nodded, fingers trailing along Jay’s thigh toward the zipper.

“Don’t.”

Jungwon’s back arched more, eyes fluttering closed, as Jay lightly bit down. Pleasure mixed with a prickling jolt of pain rushed through his chest. He’d fantasized about that, the hundred ways Jay might have him. He’d planned every moment, rehearsed every trick he’d picked up over the years. But lying here, in Jay’s arms, his mind had gone completely blank.

“Did that feel alright?”

“Yeah… more than alright. You don’t have to keep asking.”

“But I like seeing you flustered.”

Jungwon exhaled and guided Jay’s hands to his back, fingers squeezing his cheeks.

“Fuck. You can…”

“Finish the sentence.”

“I’m usually not like this. I really am not.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment, then. What do you want me to do?”

“Spank me… please.”

“Is this how you like it?”

“Mhm,” he nodded and laughed as Jay’s palm made contact with his skin, fast, just enough to burn.

“Like this?”

He nodded again, wrapping both arms around Jay’s neck, pulling him close, just to shut him up, to keep his mouth busy with his own. Jay’s hand landed again, harder this time, the sound of the spank echoing through the room.

“Don’t stop.”

“I’ll make your ass red if I don’t,” Jay said, laughing. “Or do you want that?”

His hand cupped Jungwon’s chin, thumb tracing his lower lip before slipping inside.

“Suck it. God, Jungwon… you make me want to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to sit down tomorrow at work. You want that?”

He nodded.

Jungwon looked at him, tongue licking along the pad of his thumb, lips wrapping around it.

Jay’s finger slipped out, hand slowly moving downward to his neck, wrapping around. It was a gentle touch, but just firm enough.

“You’re not as innocent as I thought.”

“Would you have liked that?”

“Not really,” Jay said, squeezing a little. “I like you like this. Kinky. Touch yourself.”

“But—”

“I want to see you pleasure yourself.”

“I want you to touch me… please.”

“Another time. Let me watch.”

Jungwon hesitated, blinking up at him, flushed, as a bead of sweat trickled down his stomach. He nodded slowly and shifted back just enough, hand trailing down between his legs.

Jay didn’t look away. He leaned back slightly, arms resting on his knees, watching every twitch of Jungwon’s fingers, every flicker of hesitation in his movements.

“Good…” he said, his voice low. “Go slow.”

Jungwon swallowed, his breath shaky as his hand moved m, unsure at first, then a little more confidently. His hips arched forward instinctively, just a little. He’d done it a hundred times, perhaps embarrassingly more, but never like that. Never watched by someone; fully clothed, who didn’t yet push him down into the couch.

Jay’s gaze darkened. “You know you look very… pretty like this, right? But I bet I’m not the first telling you this.”

Jungwon bit his lip, heat crawling up his neck, straight to his cheeks. “You’re not making it any easier.”

“I’m not trying to… you have to be a good boy for me.”

His hand faltered for a second, the rush of embarrassment, the weight of being seen like this, but Jay leaned forward, brushed his knuckles along his thigh.

“You’re doing good,” he said, quieter now. “Let go. Let me see what you like… how you like it.”

And maybe that was what undid him, the way Jay said it, the way Jay held him in his arms. Like he wanted to know him, every piece, no matter how messy or bare or soft and squishy and imperfect.

Jungwon let his head fall back, breath hitching, lips parted. And Jay kept watching, not touching, not yet. He craved his touch.

Jungwon’s breathing turned ragged, his fingers faltering, then picking up again. His skin flushed with heat, his whole body tensing under Jay’s gaze; he spit into his palm, going faster and faster.

Jay leaned closer, one hand resting on the couch beside him, the other still loose by his thigh, like he was holding himself back.

“You’re close, aren’t you,” Jay said, his voice lower now, rougher. “I can see it.”

Jungwon whimpered, barely nodding, mouth open but no words came out.

Jay pressed his lips to his cheek. “Don’t come yet.”

Jungwon choked on a breath. “Please.”

“I said not yet.” Jay kissed the corner of his mouth, then his jaw, then down to his neck. “I want to take over. Let me.”

Jungwon’s hand stilled, shaky and aching. He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no either. He just turned to face him fully, lips parted, eyes wide and waiting. He grabbed his free hand and put it against his neck.

“Fuck, Jungwon.”

Jay kissed him, harder, messier as his fingers squeezed around his neck. His free hand slid between them, replacing Jungwon’s, and Jungwon moaned into his mouth; the sound was swallowed by another kiss, a sharp bite on his lower lip.

But Jay didn’t rush. His hand moved slowly, deliberately, thumb teasing, palm firm, working him with more experience than he would have expedtrd.

“You feel that?” Jay said. “This is how I want you.”

Jungwon nodded.

“Say it.”

“This—” Jungwon gasped as Jay’s grip tightened everywhere. “This is how I want it. God.”

Jay’s hand moved faster, other arm wrapping around his waist to hold him steady as Jungwon bucked forward, unable to stop himself anymore.

“Come for me,” Jay whispered, lips brushing his temple. “Let me see you.”

And Jungwon did, with a breathless cry and his whole body trembling, legs clenching around Jay’s hips, fingers digging into his shoulders. Jay held him through it, mouth gentle now, pressing slow kisses to his skin, his colarbones, his shoulders and cheeks.

They stayed like that for a while. Jungwon’s chest rising and falling fast. Jay still cradling his waist and eventually, he pulled back just slightly. “You okay?”

Jungwon opened his eyes, still hazy. He nodded, then exhaled a breathless laugh. “You win.”

Jay raised an eyebrow. “Win what?”

“I don’t know. Me.”

Jay smiled, soft and a little crooked. “I think you gave yourself away a while ago.”

“So…” he said, voice hoarse, “is this the part where things get weird?”

Jay raised an eyebrow without turning his head. “You think this wasn’t already weird?”

“Okay, but like… emotionally weird.”

Jay huffed a tired breath, arm slung over his eyes. “I think the moment we cleaned dog shit together and vomited in tandem on the porch, we crossed that line.”

Jungwon smiled — just a little. “Yeah. That was… bonding.”

Jungwon shifted on the couch, still half in Jay’s lap, flushed and quiet. “You know I can… return the favor, right?” he said, voice low, tentative, fingers running up and down his thigh.

Jay’s hand moved to his shoulder, firm, but not rough. “Don’t.”

Jungwon blinked. “Why not?”

“Because this wasn’t a transaction,” Jay said, eyes open now, searching his face. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I want to.”

“That’s not the point,” Jay said, voice quieter. “Let me… just let me hold you for a minute. Okay?”

“Okay… is this a punishment, not wanting me to touch you?”

“Maybe… or delayed gratification, take it as you will.”

“But you’ll let me.. eventually,” Jungwon said and kissed his cheek; had he ever kissed his cheek before?

“Yes. I don’t think we can hide behind the finger anymore… not after this,” Jay said and kissed his shoulder. “Uhm… was it better? Than with…”

“God, why ask me that?”

“I just… it popped in my mind.”

“Yes, of course I liked it better. Much better.”

“And you’re back,” Jay said, laughing. “I should wash, my hand is sticky…”

“Right. You could lick it.”

“Please don’t.”

Lucifer squeezed between them on the bed, suddenly too small for two adult men. But Jungwon didn’t mind, didn’t mind how his head rested on Jay’s arm until it went numb, or how Lucifer’s little cold, wet snout bumped into his cheek from time to time. He didn’t mind any of if.

Because falling in love was not in his vocabulary, but as he watched Jay rambled about insignifact, tiny things, he couldn’t help but smile and squeezed his cheeks, kiss him square on the mouth.

“What was that for?”

“Nothing, go on. You were talking about”-

“My first ever boyfriend. At the ripe age of 23.”

“I’d have thought you were some sort of Don Juan in college.”

“Not a chance. Book worm through and through. Never even attended a party. Or set foot in the club.”

“So that’s the secret to getting rich.”

“I’m not that rich.”

“Sort of rich,” Jungwon said, and kissed him again. And again.

He expected Jay to tell him to stop. But he didn’t. Instead, he kissed his forehead.

“So… what about this mysterious boyfriend? Serious business?”

“First time I had sex,” Jay said. “First time I ever said I love you , and first time I got cheated on. Got the whole damn deal.”

“Oh…”

“If you’re thinking about the whole thing with your three-day boyfriend, it’s not the same thing. It is, but… you had the balls to break up with him. Alan, that was his name, didn’t. So we kept going for three fucking years.”

“That’s—”

“Don’t say sad .”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine… all healed and not all avoidant. As you can see.”

“Right. You’re like an open book… I won’t cheat on you. Not that we’re in a relationship to… I mean…”

“Let’s not open another can of worms.”

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be. Let’s call it a night,” Jay said, and kissed his cheek.

“Sleep tight.”

“Yeah, you too. And you too, Luci.”

Jungwon turned off the lights and listened to Lucifer’s damp breath on his cheek. He stank, just a little. Jay, in his bed. Sleeping. Or on the brink of falling asleep.

He snored, just a touch; hogged the blankets and hugged his pillow.

Jungwon couldn’t sleep, not that night, at least. His brain was wired, remembering every little touch and word.

Chapter Text

It was the morning after when Jungwon noticed all the tiny little changes, or perhaps he noticed them because all he could think about that morning was Jay.

His lips, his touch, his voice.

“A little birdie whispered,” Yeji said, leaning over his desk, her voice dropping to a whisper, “that Satan was in the car the other day… with someone who looked just like you .”

Jungwon stared into his screen. And stared. Afraid to look into Yeji’s eyes and crumble under her gaze.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“Right… no thank you very much.”

“I came to you first to say it.”

“Yes—so you could make me talk, then run to your friends in Implementation and gossip all about it.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“I’m not in the mood, Yeji. Whoever that was, it’s none of my business,” Jungwon said, standing up, the chair screeching. “I’m making more coffee.”

“Jungwon, don’t get mad.”

“I’m not. Fly, little birdie. Fly.”

But office gossip needed no birdie to grow wings. It fed like a beast. Fast. Ugly. Loud. Until it finally exploded. Like a breeding ground for flesh eating bacteria; and the bacteria: people like Dave and Yeji.

He sat down at the oval table, his usual spot next to Jay, but something was off. Terribly off. All eyes were on him. Normally, the A2C team didn’t pay much attention to him. Except Dave. But Dave was different.

Today, Jungwon felt like he’d been thrown into a cage for people to prod and poke.

“Well, good morning. I see you’re all chatty,” Jay said as he sat down.

Nobody responded. A few nods. Jungwon stared into his laptop, pretending not to notice the way people looked at him like he was some walking scandal.

Did they know?

“Jungwon, how’s the report on P&L?”

“I asked Gina for some help, to… uhm, gather the data.”

“Guess some people get fast-tracked to Senior just by warming the boss’s bed,” Dave said.

Everyone laughed. Even Gina.

“That was my report,” Dave added smugly.

“A word, Dave. Outside. Now,” Jay said. His tone was different, sharper, and Jay didn’t even look at him.

Jungwon’s face turned a bright, humiliating red, all the way to the tips of his ears. He wished a hole would open under his feet and swallow Dave whole.

“So,” someone said, eyes still on him. “Satan’s not so heartless after all?”

“Come on, spill. Is he any good?” Gina asked, grinning.

Jungwon stood so fast the room tilted. He grabbed his laptop and shoved open the door so hard it nearly smacked into Dave’s face.

Unfortunately, he missed.

“Where are you going?” Jay asked.

“I… I don’t feel that good.”

“Of course you don’t,” Dave cut in. “Mr. Park, with all due respect—”

“I don’t feel any respect, Dave,” Jay said flatly. “Office gossip, in this case, is borderline harassment. You’ve accused a junior employee of sleeping his way up — falsely.”

“Can I—”

“No, Jungwon. Stay.”

“There’s no harassment. I’m just saying it’s unfair that someone like Jungwon, no offense, gets all the opportunities, just because our general cluster manager, to put it nicely, likes him a little too much.”

“There’s no favoritism, Dave,” Jay said. “Unlike you, Jungwon actually does his job. He asks questions. He improves. You don’t.”

“Well, if I got along with the boss that well, maybe—”

“This discussion is over.” Jay turned to Jungwon. “Tell the rest the meeting is over.”

Jungwon didn’t want to tell anyone anything. He didn’t want to walk the halls while whispers followed behind him. Yang Jungwon, the one sleeping with the boss. If only there were actual perks to it.

His desk was suddenly a target on the hallway; the whispers, stolen, quick glances, the increased office traffic around him like he was some new species in the zoo.

Jay called him later, to an office with no frosted glass, just a regular door and walls that didn’t echo.

“Close the door,” he said, leaning on the desk. “We have two or three options.”

“Okay…”

“We go to HR and inform them of… our relationship. We need to be compliant. And… I move you to a different department, if I can.”

“If not, what? You fire me?” Jungwon asked.

“I’ve never said that.”

“But it’s the third option or whatever. If there’s no available position, you fire me because now everyone knows,” Jungwon said, laughing. “Awesome. You get to remain boss while people whisper about me that I am the office whore.”

“Jungwon…”

“Isn’t that the truth? I take the short end of the stick while people maybe will be impressed by your skills. I want to resign myself.”

“Jungwon… I’ll move you to a better department to—”

“And everyone there will know too. He only got transferred because he’s screwing the manager. And they wouldn’t even be wrong.” Jungwon let out a bitter laugh. “I am screwing the manager. Except for the fact that I’m not actually screwing my manager, or haven’t always.”

“I’m sorry… Look, people forget. They will forget about this whole thing.”

“Oh. So I should forget about it too, right?” He paused, jaw tight. “Great. I’ll send you my resignation letter. If it can be with immediate action.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Today is my last day here. Actually… last hour.”

“Jungwon,” Jay said and grabbed his wrist; gently, thumb running over the thin skin. “I should have been more careful. I’ll give you a recommendation letter to”-

“God, please don’t. Don’t do that.”

“Why? You’re smart, and hard working.”

Jungwon sighed.

“Sometimes I wonder if it was all even worth it, you know? This and that, and you. Choosing you even though my life is going to shit. Maybe it’s… if you’re not my boss anymore then…”

“Let’s talk about it at home,” Jay said, so naturally; like they lived together.

Like home meant what? Jungwon’s place? Jay’s, but with restrictions?

“Fine… I’ll send in the letter to HR and pack my shit.”

And then, Jay did the least Satan-like thing he would have imagined; leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

“I’m sorry.”

A peck, quick, sweet almost. Jay kissed him. Just because. Then let him go.

Even the girl from HR stared at him a minute too long when he handed in his resignation. They could all talk, and for all he cared, be tortured tenfold by whatever means Jay could conjure up.

There wasn’t much to pack. Pens, a journal, some knick-knacks, and an ugly mug he decided to leave behind as a souvenir.

“Jungwon? Jungwon?!” Yeji shouted, chasing after him through the lobby. “You quit?!”

“Hello, unemployment.”

“So… was it true? You and Satan—I mean, Jay?”

“Does it matter?” Jungwon asked, shrugging. “I really did consider you a friend. So thanks for the help with the resignation. And the public shaming. Super helpful. Especially since that whole ‘screwing my boss’ part isn’t even half true. But what do I know?”

“Jungwon… wait. It’s—everyone was laughing, it seemed harmless—”

“Well, it wasn’t.”

“What did Jay say?”

He shrugged again.

“Does it matter? I’m the assistant who slept with his boss. Great for me. I should put that on my CV — real people-pleaser. I bet that’ll set me apart from all those suckers who don’t warm the boss’s bed.”

He walked out, holding the stupid cardboard box, and glanced back. Nine months ago, he had first walked through those glass doors and Yeji had shown him around; knocked on Jay’s frosted glass door and shook hands with him. Small, shy smile, and Jay hadn’t even smiled back. His grip had been firm, his black shirt crisp, and that powdery scent floated around him like a halo.

That same day, Jay made him scour half the city for a very specific bouquet, for a tight-lipped, sharp-tongued, forever unimpressed foreign delegate.

The nickname Satan had been born that day, as Jungwon sat at Yeji’s desk, catching his breath. From Satan to Jay. From Jay to… something else.

Jungwon groaned and chucked the cardboard box into the trash. Unemployed. A word he hadn’t used in a while.

All for a guy. How romantic.

A guy who didn’t even have the balls to kiss him until yesterday, so maybe the kiss was cursed.

Reversed Disney frog kisses.

A guy who said home in the most casual way, like it meant something.

A guy who showed up at his place, soaking wet from the rain, holding two damp pizza boxes.

“It’s—”

“I know. Come in,” Jungwon said, stepping aside. “Didn’t think you’d come.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I don’t work for you anymore and—”

“So what?” Jay said. “If you don’t work for me… then we don’t have to hide.” He put a very wet, cold arm across Jungwon’s middle.

“Didn’t know you had a whole sappy romantic side.”

“I’m full of surprises. So, I found a job for you. And no, I’m not making any recommendation letters or pulling strings. Nothing like that. It’s not an assistant job — it’s in billing.”

“I have no—”

“They’re willing to take people with little to no experience. The pay’s better,” Jay said, kissing his cheek. “You can think about it while we eat this amazing pizza.”

“Jeez. Is this the full Jay Relationship Package?”

“Well, college-Jay would’ve stuttered if he saw you. So this is the new, exclusive package I offer.”

Jungwon grabbed some clothes from the closet and tossed them onto the couch.

“Change.”

“Uhm…” Jay glanced around.

“You can go in the bedroom… or I can turn around. You saw me fully naked yesterday, so I think I have the right to see the goods.”

“Shut up.”

“Do you have a beer belly? Is that the issue?”

“Yeah — and a dick,” Jay said, slapping Jungwon’s forearm, “ this thick. ”

“Go change. Go, go, go.”

“I was called—”

“ Shut up! ”

“It’s so big I have to support it with something or it drags across the—”

“I’m going to kill you,” Jungwon said, laughing as he burst into the bedroom to tackle him onto the bed, fingers digging into Jay’s sides.

“Stop, stop, stop—!”

“And you stop talking about your gigantic dong. Am I peeling the layers of your onion now?”

“What onion?”

“You know… calm, composed, serious at first glance to lure me in. Then, affectionate but not really. And now? Just plain weird.”

“I swear the core is all pink and fluffy.”

Jungwon looked at him, really looked at how the t-shirt was a little too tight for him, how the pants had a hole around the crotch; how little water droplets fell from his hair and how much he wanted to kiss him and ask what had he done to him?

But the phone rang. Loud and clear.

“Shit. It’s my neighbor,” Jay said and picked up. “She did what?!! I’m coming right now, thank you so much.”

“What’s wrong?”

“My mother.”

He tagged along, not because Jay asked him to, but because he didn’t say otherwise; did he particularly want to peel another layer of the onion? Not quite.

But the layer stood hanging by a thread, as Jay opened the door to the house. His neighbour, a lady with bright purple hair and red lipstick, waved from the couch, Lucifer at her feet.

“She’s sleeping now.”

“Good. Thank you,” Jay said and glanced around at the fallen frames, and smashed plates and mugs on the kitchen floor.

“I heard it from my house. The door was unlocked. I think she found some liquor hidden somewhere.”

“Yeah… uhm,” Jay said, rubbing his temples. “Thank you. I’ll take it from here.”

“Is he your brother?” the woman asked, smiling.

“No. Partner. I should go check on her.”

“Sure, honey.”

Jungwon smiled. A smile too bright for the situation as he hadn’t spoken one word; another layer peeled. Partner. Not friend. Not acquaintance. Partner.

He grabbed the broom and a bucket to gather the shards and dirt; the house looked worse than he’d last seen it. Smelled sour, like rotten vegetables that stood too much in the sun.

Lucifer wagged his small tail, staring at him until Jungwon grabbed him in his arms and wrapped him in another shirt found on the couch, like a marsupial.

“Like that? This way your tiny little paws won’t get hurt.”

Falling in love. Jungwon sighed; was it really that complicated, loving someone? He didn’t know whether he loved him, not yet, but he wasn’t afraid. Didn’t want to run away even though that Jay, Jay in the room upstairs attending to his mother, Jay - his former boss, wasn’t perfect. He was no sexy fantasy.

There was nothing sexy about wiping the floor while holding a chihuahua like a tiny human baby.

“Hey, where is Luci?” Jay asked, stepping behind him.

“Right here. He loves it. I should vacuum now. And we can throw that away, it’s full of shards and stuff.”

“Jungwon…” he said and touched his middle. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“This… you shouldn’t have come. It’s…”

“It’s alright. I wanted to. That’s what partners do, right?”

“Right.”

“Is she alright?”

“Passed out in bed… drank herself into oblivion. I don’t want to talk about it. Not now. I’ll call someone tomorrow, get her into rehab even though a 62 year old woman stuck into rehab it’s just…”

Jungwon didn’t know what to say. So he said nothing, just turned on the vacuum, Lucifer asleep at his chest, while Jay took out the trash; he wiped the floors, helped make Jay’s bed and throw the sheets into the washer.

It was late into the night when he sat on the bed, sweaty and muscles aching. Jay sat next to him, head leaning into his hands, quiet.

“Fuck… I hate this so much.”

“I know…” Jungwon said and touched his back. “I can go home if you”-

“No, stay. If you want.”

“Okay… I should shower. Or we could shower, save water and stuff.”

“You go first. I’ll just… I need some time with my thoughts.”

It wasn’t the sexy, hot and steamy relationship start that Jungwon had pictured; nothing about it was that hot, not the morning when he watched Jay drag his mother out of the guest bedroom, frail and so thin, cane in one hand.

Was that what it meant, to accept someone with good and bad? Perhaps Heesung also hid something underneath the onion layers, or maybe not. But he hadn’t chosen him, had he? Perhaps it would have been simpler, easier and less messy.

But he got the job, a week later, Billing associate; higher pay, no more buying coffee for any boss. Just him and the laptop screen.

And Jay, cold, mean, brash boss Jay, waited for him in front of the office building almost every day at 6 PM on the clock.

“How’s my little accountant doing?” Jay asked as he hugged him.

“Still learning. Balance sheets and accruals and general ledgers. I feel like I’m in school.”

“That’s good. So, Dave fucked up the report. Again. And I let him take all the credit, present in front of a stakeholder.”

“You’re evil.”

“It was so worth it, you should have seen his face. Priceless,” Jay said, arm slung over his shoulders. “Soo… I was thinking about taking you on a date.”

“Date, huh?”

“Whatever you want.”

“The spa. And a room in a fancy hotel.”

“Jeez.”

“You asked.”

“Spa it is.”

Jungwon stared up at the ceiling, face covered in a warm towel that smelled like eucalyptus and overpriced skincare. A strange sound echoed from the next table, half-moan, half-snore.

“Are you… humming?” he asked, lifting the towel off one eye.

“I’m meditating,” Jay said, voice muffled. “Also, whatever that woman just did to my shoulders, I think I saw God for a second.”

Jungwon laughed quietly, attempting a breathing technique that was supposed to relax the mind and free the soul from the bodily troubles; it only made him feel like he was suffocating.

“But this… this is sorcery. If I die here, don’t revive me. Just roll me into a hot stone massage and call it a day.”

Then came the matching fluffy robes, hot tea, and a “silent sauna” that Jay managed to disrespect within thirty seconds when he yelled as his butt touched the hot wooden seating are.

“It’s so quiet,” he whispered, which, technically, wasn’t against the rules, the cracking open a bottle of sparkling water and slurping it like a cartoon villain. It said nowhere he couldn’t hyydrate, but Jungwon thought it defeated the purpose of sweating it all out.

Jungwon glared at him. “You’re going to get us kicked out.”

“I won’t. I can be… professional.”

“Sometimes I wonder why I thought you were so serious and strict when you look like a boiled lobster waiting to be eaten.”

“I can live with that, the last part,” Jay said and raised his eyebrow.

The steam swirled around his lashes, as big drops of sweat fell down from his hair.

“Jeez, is this supposed to feel relaxing?” Jay asked, fanning himself with both hands.

“Yes. Sort of. I don’t know. Sauna sounded… fancy.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Jay said, holding his hand, sweaty, damp fingers intertwined.

They ran down the hallway like two teenage boys skipping class, laughing as their flip-flops echoed, slapping against the soles of their feet.

“Fuck, this is huuuge,” Jungwon said, spinning around the hotel room and threw himself on the bed. “This is amazing! Absolutely incredible. I want to live here forever.”

“Easy there,” Jay said, but smile, watching him from the doorframe.

They ate cross-legged on the bed, fries shared between oily finger tips and an episode of Kitchen Nightmares.

“God, this one is so unhinged,” Jay said, stuffing his mouth with food.

“You’ve got salt on your lip,” Jungwon said.

Jay licked it away, but Jungwon leaned in anyway, catching his mouth in a kiss. Salt and warmth, just a taste. Jay hummed into it.

“Still there,” Jungwon said. Another kiss, longer,

Jay pulled him in by the shirt collar. “You’re going to stain the fancy sheets.”

“I’m post-facial, sugar-scrubbed, moisturized and slightly oily,” Jungwon whispered, sliding into his lap. “And you like it.”

Jay groaned. “I do.”

Their mouths met again, slow but deeper, teeth grazing, hands roaming. Jay’s hand slipped under the hem of Jungwon’s shirt, fingers skimming up his back. Jungwon’s thighs tightened around him as he pressed closer, breath hitching.

“I liked today,” Jay said, lips brushing Jungwon’s jaw. “You didn’t let me check my email once.”

“I’ll start charging for that kind of discipline,” Jungwon said, hips rocking against his. “Maybe I should start punishing you when you break it. For every read email… a spank.”

Jay’s breath stuttered, grip tightening on his waist. “Oh? I thought I was the only one doing the spanking.”

“Take your shirt off.”

Jay obeyed without a word, his eyes dark as they watched Jungwon watch him.

“God,” Jungwon whispered, fingers brushing down Jay’s chest, nails teasing just slightly his nipples.

“You want to see more?” Jay asked, voice low, hands sliding up under Jungwon’s thighs, lifting slightly to switch their positions, Jungwon now beneath him, hair mussed against the sheets.

Jay bent down, lips at his ear. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since you walked out of that spa in that stupid robe.”

“I knew you were checking me out.”

“Hard not to.”

He kissed down Jungwon’s throat, biting just lightly, fingers tugging at his waistband. Jungwon arched into the touch, hands tangled in Jay’s hair, breath coming faster.

“We should… wash our hands. Sorry to ruin the mood, but I don’t want to know how salt feels on my dick.”

“Jeez, mood killer,” Jay said, but stood up, helping Jungwon as well.

He looked in the mirror, at Jay, at everything, at how imperfectly perfect his life had become.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

“Spill.”

“Nothing. Thinking about you, us, life, our life. This… relationship?”

“Why did you put it like a question?”

Jungwon shrugged.

“Unless you don’t want a relationship.”

“Fuck off. I’ve been smelling Lucifer’s farts every single night,” Jungwon said and Jay hugged him from behind. “That’s commitment and love.”

“Mhm, did I hear the magical word,” he said, and kissed the lobe of his ear.

“Love for Lucifer…”

“Right.”

“So… you’ve never told me about ex-boyfriends. I told you.”

“And you thought that right before sex is the perfect opportunity to ask me that?” Jungwon asked, dragging him back to the bed.

“Just popped into my head.”

“Mhm… what do you want to know?”

Jay shrugged.

“Whatever you want to tell me.”

“Then you get nothing.”

Jay tackled him down into the sheet, pinning both arms above his head, legs stradling his middle.

“Just one story. Please.”

“God. Well, had 2 boyfriends… 1 situationship, 2 if I count you, and a lot of dating and sleeping around.”

“So I’m the third boyfriend?”

“Maybe…” Jungwon grinned at him.

“Who taught you about spanking and choking?”

“Oh, so that’s what you wanted to know? My kinks… or if you are the best sex I’ve ever had?”

“Not like that… I mean…”

“It wasn’t a boyfriend… just a friend with benefits. Had some fun right at the beginning of college with him… experimented a bit.”

“What kind of experiments?”

Jungwon gasped a little as Jay pressed himself harder against him, quite visibly aroused.

“Go on.”

“Spanking, choking… tying our wrists with ties, blindfolds, ice cubes.”

Jay’s grip tightened on Jungwon’s wrists, pinning them against the mattress as he looked down at him, flushed, lips parted, waiting. “So. Ice cubes, huh?” he asked, voice low, rough. “What else did he get to try on you?”

Jungwon squirmed, but not to get away. His thighs pressed together, a soft shiver running through him at the way Jay’s gaze turned sharper, more focused. “Just… that. Maybe a few toys. I don’t know. It was years ago. A cock ring once, but I didn’t like it. Butt plug.”

Jay leaned down, brushing his mouth along Jungwon’s jaw, all soft at first, too soft for how firm he still held him. “And you let him do all that to you?”

He nodded.

Jay pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “Did you ever beg for it?”

“Sometimes,” Jungwon breathed.

“Did you ever come from just that? From being touched a certain way… or told what to do?”

Jungwon swallowed hard. “Once. But it wasn’t like this.”

Jay’s thumb dragged slowly across his bottom lip. “And how is this different?”

“God… you’re… it’s you. He was not you. Maybe we should have fucked in your office before I resigned.”

“It’s never too late… I can sneak you in,” Jay said, grinning, and bit down on his shoulder.

And Jungwon nodded, head falling back, the pain in his wrist unexplicably delicious.

Jay let go of one wrist to trail his fingers down Jungwon’s chest, stopping just shy of where his waistband still clung. “You let someone else tie you up?”

“Mhm.”

“Bet you looked pretty like that.” His hand stilled. “Did you think of me while Heesung had his hands on you?”

Jungwon flushed red, voice nearly a whisper. “Sometimes.”

Jay smiled. Satisfied of himself. Pleased. “Do you ever think about someone else when you’re with me?”

Jungwon’s breath hitched.

“No… just you. You’re the only thing on my mind for a while now… but you like hearing it.”

Jay leaned in again, lips brushing his throat, voice low against his ear. “You’re mine, baby boy. I’m the only one allowed to touch you like this.”

He let go completely, sitting back for just a second. “Get on your knees.”

Jungwon obeyed, hair messy, eyes wide as he slid off the bed, settling between Jay’s legs. Jay just watched him, thumb tracing his jaw, his lips, dragging across his lower lip.

“Should I tease you as well?” Jungwon asked, half breathless.

Jay leaned forward. “Not tonight…”

He leaned back slightly, legs spread just a little more, and dragged his thumb down Jungwon’s throat, watching the way his Adam’s apple bobbed with each shaky breath.

“Hands behind your back,” he said, voice low.

Jungwon obeyed, immediately, locking his fingers together behind him as he knelt, flushed, mouth parted, eyes lifted up. There was something in the way he looked at him, hungry, desperate almost.

Jay slid his fingers into Jungwon’s hair, not harsh, but firm enough to tilt his head back. “Open your mouth.”

And when Jungwon did, slow, lips parting, tongue just barely visible, Jay dragged the pad of his thumb over his tongue, then pressed down, holding it there.

“Keep it open. You’re not allowed to close it until I say.”

He didn’t. He kept his eyes up, gaze heavy and hot, letting Jay explore every inch of him with nothing but the pressure of his thumb, his hand, the lazy grip in his hair.

Jay’s free hand moved down to his own waistband, slow and deliberate, unfastening the button, lowering the zipper just enough. He could feel Jay shift, not impatient, not demanding, just waiting.

“I want to hear you,” Jay said, stroking himself once, slowly. “Every sound. Every moan around my cock.”

Jungwon flushed deeper, then leaned forward, only for Jay to stop him with a tighter tug of his hair.

“Not yet. I want to watch you want it.”

Jungwon whimpered around his thumb.

Jay leaned closer, pulling his thumb out slowly, wiping it along Jungwon’s bottom lip before pressing two fingers in deeper, and Jungwon sucked, without being told, lips closing around them, tongue warm and eager.

“God, you look so good like this. You’d let me fuck your mouth until your eyes watered, wouldn’t you?”

Jungwon moaned around his fingers. It was different then with Heesung, with anybody else; he wanted Jay to use him for his own pleasure, give in to it.

Jay pulled them out slowly, slick with spit, and finally, finally, loosened his hold on Jungwon’s hair. “Good boy. Come here.”

Jungwon leaned forward again, lips parting, and Jay slid himself into his mouth slowly, holding the back of his head steady, guiding him down inch by inch.

“Just like that,” Jay hissed, his eyes fluttering closed. “God… I’ve been thinking about this for so long… one time I saw you at work, bent over at your desk… fuck, keep going. And I wanted to have you right there.”

Jungwon’s hands remained clasped behind his back, even as he began to move, slow at first, getting used to the rhythm, the weight, the heat of Jay’s voice.

Jay’s fingers tangled deeper into his hair, the other bracing against the mattress, hips barely moving, letting Jungwon do the work, letting him show just how much he liked it. How much he wanted it. And Jungwon liked it too, because he was the one controlling Jay’s pleasure; his moans, his desire.

And then, a sharp inhale, a tug, and Jay stilled him with a low groan, keeping him there.

“Eyes on me,” he whispered, panting. “I want to see your face when I come.”

Jungwon obeyed, again, tears just starting to form at the corners of his eyes from the stretch, from the weight of Jay’s need. He didn’t look away.

Jay was close, too close, and he knew it. His grip faltered, tightened, then relaxed again as he pulled back, sliding out with a hiss.

“Up. On the bed. Now.”

Jungwon stood shakily and climbed onto the bed, breathless and wrecked, eyes shining.

Jay followed, stripping off what was left of his clothes, then pulling Jungwon beneath him, holding his face in his hands.

“This,” he whispered, kissing him slow, deep. “You’re mine.”

“Yes,” Jungwon whispered back, breathless. “Please. Fuck me.”

Jay smiled, eyes dark. “Oh, I will.”

Jay’s hands pinned Jungwon’s wrists back to the mattress, his grip firmer now. “You let him tie you up?” he asked, voice low, eyes sharp with something that almost burned.

Jungwon nodded, lips parted. “Yeah…”

“And you liked that?”

He paused, thinking about something mean to say. But he didn’t.

“Not as much as this.”

Jay hummed, satisfied, then leaned in, lips grazing the shell of his ear. “Good. Good boy.”

Jungwon exhaled sharply as Jay shifted his weight, pressing him deeper into the mattress.

Jay released one of his wrists only to grab his chin, forcing Jungwon to look straight at him.

Jay kissed him, not soft, not slow, but claiming. His hand slid down again, trailing over Jungwon’s stomach, teasing along the waistband of his robe. “Now take this off. I want to see all of you when you beg.”

Jungwon obeyed, sitting up just enough to shrug the robe off his shoulders, letting it pool around his waist. He didn’t say a word, didn’t need to, not when his eyes were so open, so full of want.

Jay trailed his fingers down Jungwon’s chest, nails scraping lightly at a nipple, smiling when Jungwon’s breath hitched. “Tell me more.”

“About what?”

“Everything. What else did that guy do to you?”

Jungwon flushed, but didn’t hesitate. “Blindfolds. He liked… giving orders. Made me kneel sometimes.”

Jay’s fingers stilled for a second, before he leaned in again, dragging his teeth down Jungwon’s neck. “God, I would’ve never expected that from you.”

“Why not?”

“You looked so innocent running around with my coffee.”

“Did you like that? I can act innocent, if you want,” he said, smiling, dimple showing on his left cheek. “I can be as pure as you want me to be.”

His hand slid lower, pressing between Jungwon’s legs, firm, possessive, drawing out a sharp gasp. “I like it better when you are like this.”

Jay smirked, but there was something darker in his eyes, something protective.

Jungwon whimpered, hips arching into Jay’s hand, legs trembling already.

“Easy,” Jay said, leaning down to bite his collarbone, just hard enough to make him squirm.

Jay didn’t waste time.

His breathing quickened when Jay pulled off the spa robe’s belt, soft cotton twisting tight in his hands.

“Good,” Jay murmured. “Don’t move.”

He looped the fabric around Jungwon’s wrists, not rough, but deliberate, tightening just enough to hold, not enough to hurt. He kissed the inside of Jungwon’s forearm, then moved down his body, lips grazing his ribs, stomach, hipbones.

“Are you trying to fit in everything I did until now in one night?” Jungwon asked.

“Maybe…”

He slid his hands under Jungwon’s thighs and pushed them apart. “Keep them open. You’re going to stay like this.”

Jungwon nodded, already flushed.

“No,” Jay said, gaze flicking up. “Say it.”

“I’ll keep them open. I promise.”

Jay smirked, satisfied. “You’re learning.”

His mouth dipped lower, breath ghosting over the most sensitive part of him, but he didn’t touch, not yet. Just hovered. Watched Jungwon twitch and bite down a whimper.

“You want my mouth?”

“Yes…”

Jay licked a stripe up his inner thigh. “Beg.”

“Jay… please. I want it. I want your mouth, your hands — I want everything, please.”

Jay rewarded him instantly, warm, wet, devastatingly slow. Jungwon gasped, hips jerking, but Jay’s hands pinned him down.

“Keep still.”

He couldn’t. Not really. Not when Jay sucked him in, inch by inch, tongue working in deep, rhythmically cruel strokes. Jay didn’t let up, even as Jungwon trembled under him, bound hands clenching, eyes squeezed shut.

“Jay— I’m— I can’t—”

Jay pulled off, slow and wet. “No. Not yet. I didn’t say you could come. Be a good boy or I’ll punish you.”

Jungwon whimpered, hips rocking uselessly into empty air. His thighs shook.

“You’re going to hold it. For me.”

Jay moved back up, straddling him fully now, one hand wrapped around his throat, not squeezing, just there, a reminder. Jungwon moaned at the contact, eyes wide and blown.

“Still with me?” Jay asked, thumb brushing his cheek.

Jungwon nodded frantically. “Yes. Yes.”

“Good boy.”

Jay kissed him hard this time, tongue sweeping in like he owned every inch of him. And maybe he did. Maybe he always had.

When he finally moved again, mouth trailing lower, fingers stroking with just the edge of his nails, it wasn’t to tease.

“You’re so good like this,” Jay said, voice thick with need, trailing kisses down Jungwon’s jaw to his neck. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin, making Jungwon arch into him.

Jungwon bit his lip, a flush spreading across his cheeks as he pushed back harder.

“You make it so hard to stop,” he breathed, and undid Jungwon’s ties, turning him onto his belly.

Jay’s hands slid lower, tracing the curve of Jungwon’s lower back before resting firmly on his ass. A spank, loud in the quiet room, as his cheek turned bright red.

“I’m going to fuck you,” Jay said, fingers pressing into his skin. “I’ve been thinking about fucking you for so long.”

Jungwon shivered.

“Please,” he whispered, “I’m yours.”

“Not before some lube… crap, did I bring it.”

“I thought you’d be more prepared than this if you’ve been thinking about it.”

“Shut up, it’s in the bag. You’re ruining the mood.”

“Am I? Yeah,” Jay said, rummaging through his duffle bag. “Bingo. Stop making me laugh.”

“Yes, daddy.”

“God, don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“You’re killing my boner. I draw the line at the word daddy.”

“Yes, daddy. Stuck it inside me your big, big”- Jungwon said, as Jay tackled him down, tickling his ribs.

“Stop now?”

“Yes, yes. I promise I’ll be good. You should have seen your face.”

“Ha ha. Turn,” Jay said, and Jungwon did so, back arched just slightly, waiting.

Jay’s lips curled into a smile as he eased a finger along Jungwon’s entrance, teasing, stretching. Jungwon gasped, body trembling as Jay worked him open with patient strokes.

“When have you last…”

“Can’t remember… it’s easier to, fuck… that’s the spot… it’s easier to give blowjobs but… if you do it often enough, there’s little prep work.”

“How often?”

“Every day?” Jungwon said, grabbing the sheets. “I… like being fucked.”

When Jay finally pushed inside, it was slow, careful.

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah… keep going.”

“Slap me if it hurts.”

Jungwon’s hands gripped Jay’s tightly, fingers intertwined, breathing ragged as Jay began to thrust, steady, measured.

“You’re so fucking good,” Jay hissed, voice rough, thrusting deeper, harder, marking him with every movement. Jungwon’s whole body clenched, riding the waves of pleasure and vulnerability.

Their eyes locked, breath mingling, sweat glistening as Jay took complete control, and Jungwon willingly submitted, mind blank for the first time in a while.

Jay’s hips moved with growing urgency, each thrust pressing deeper, setting a relentless rhythm that reverberated through Jungwon’s entire body. Jungwon’s hands trembled as they clung to Jay’s shoulders, nails grazing skin, both surrendering and craving more.

“Look at me,” Jay commanded, voice rough but steady. Jungwon’s eyes flicked up, wide and lustful, as his damp hair fell over them.

Jungwon’s breath hitched as Jay’s grip tightened around his hips, pulling him closer with every stroke. His body rode the waves of sensation, pain, pleasure, vulnerability, until it blurred into one desperate craving.

Jay leaned down, mouth ghosting over Jungwon’s shoulder, trailing hot, wet kisses before biting gently, marking him as his own. Jungwon gasped, his nails digging into the bed.

“Come for me,” Jay said, voice low as he stroked him faster and faster.

Jungwon’s body tensed, heat flooding through him as he spiraled over the edge, trembling in Jay’s arms. Jay slowed, grounding him with gentle, possessive strokes, kissing him through every shudder.

He pulled out, riding his own pleasure, leaning against him.

“Fuck, I’m coming.”

Jungwon met Jay’s eyes, breathless but eager, and watched him come all over him.

“Fuck. I forgot the condom,” Jay said and fell on the bed next to him.

“It’s fine.”

“Did you”-

“Don’t gloat too much, but you’re the only one I ever let fuck me without a condom.”

“Should I feel proud?”

“Maybe… I should go wash, I’m sticky.”

“I’ll wash you,” Jay said and without any warming, held him up in his arms, walking with him to the bathroom.

“You’re such a romantic.”

“Never said I wasn’t… for the right person,” he said and helped Jungwon get inside the shower.

He turned on the water, testing it on his hand before washing Jungwon, hands soapy, soft and tender on his skin; he massaged his shoulders, his neck and kissed his cheek from time to time. It was hard not to look at him and smile like a fool, a fool who certainly wasn’t falling in love with how Jay touched him so softly, so gingerly. He wouldn’t have guessed Jay had it in him, not even weeks before; but as he turned off the water, he dried him off with a towel, and insisted on taking him back to the bad in the same bridal style.

“You’re spoiling me,” Jungwon said, head resting between the fluffed up pillows.

“A little. You don’t like it…?”

“I do. Daddy”-

“Stop saying that word,” Jay said and sat down next to him, arms around his middle. “You smell good.”

“I know. It’s really hard being this perfect.”

He didn’t realize when most of his things had switched places; perhaps only when he couldn’t find one singular pair of underwear or socks in his apartment, all stashed away in a drawer in Jay’s bedroom. His apartment echoed.

And he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept in that bed. Jay drove him to work every morning, Lucifer on his lap. Bring your dog to work policy worked wonders in Lucifer’s favour of wiggling his tail and small butt by everyone’s desk and buying Jungwon everyone’s approval.

Who didn’t want a reformed, former Satan’s dog, walking around the office like he owned it? Someone bought Lucifer a water bowl and other brought in treats every single day.

“He really is a little princess,” Jake said as Lucifer slept in his arms; Jake, his new, friendly, perhaps too friendly colleague.

“He loves it. Don’t be fooled by his cuteness, I once chased him a full neighborhood,” Jungwon said.

“He’s the department mascot, I said it. We should make merchandise, I bet it would sell. Mugs with Lucifer’s butt.”

“God, don’t put that into my head.”

“Tonight we’re all going for drink, by the way,” Jay said. “You coming, right?”

“Yeah. I’m in.”

Jungwon wasn’t a fool, or blind for that matter; ever since he’d started working there, and without explicitly or ever saying anything about his queer spectrum, Jungwon suspected that Jake might have a crush on him. An office crush. Innocent.

It was a nearby bar, that always stank of booze and cigarette smoke. Everyone had brought in their plus ones like an unspoken rule to the equation; Jay came directly from work, black shirt and black slacks, a pair of sunglasses dangling from his collar.

Jungwon couldn’t help but to grin as he saw him, and noticed the reaction on some of the girls’ faces. He was all just his. His Jay.

“I got my first blowjob in here,” Jungwon whispered in Jay’s ear.

“God, how much did you drink already?”

“Not much, but I thought we could… test the bathroom later.”

“Out of the question,” Jay said, laughing, placing a hand on his waist. “Hi, I’m Jay.”

“Jake. You must be the lucky owner of Lucifer?”

“Co-owner,” Jay said and kissed Jungwon’s cheek. “A whiskey on the rocks, please.”

“Oh, right,” Jake said. “So for how long have you two been… dating?”

Jungwon shrugged.

“It’s complicated. Three months maybe. But we’ve known each other for almost a year.”

“Omg, is this Lucifer’s dad?” a girl mostly screamed from next to them, all dressed in flowery pink and jumped right between them. “I’ve never seen such a cute dog in my life.”

“Oh, he’s not so cute,” Jay said. “You must be…”

“Mina. Jungwon here is an Excel genius. 6 weeks in and he taught me more than I picked up in 2 years.”

“I didn’t teach you that much.”

“He had a great mentor,” Jay said and rubbed his hand over Jungwon’s back.

Jake tilted his head, looking from one to the other. “So, how’d you meet?”

Jungwon opened his mouth, but Jay squeezed the back of his neck, a warning.

“Work,” Jay said. “If it’s not work, then it’s a dating app.”

“Oh, don’t get me started on the guys on Hinge. Total nutcases,” Mina said, groaning. “One of them… and that was totally on me, I went home with him, undressed and then he began sniffing my feet. I didn’t know how to leave faster from there and then he texted me the next day. He wanted foot picks.”

“Not worse than the guy who tried to sell my underwear,” Jake said.

“I remember that. Gross.”

“So, I bet nothing gross happened to you, Jay,” Mina said.

“Why would you say that?”

“You just give that vibe of”-

“Totally in control adult who has his shit together

“I don’t. Not really. Is it the shirt?”

“Totally the shirt,” Mina said, giggling. “And the serious adult expression.”

“Have I told you that story when Lucifer”-

“Please not the poop story.”

“Why?” Jungwon asked, batting his eyelashes. “It’s so romantic.”

And Jungwon didn’t quite remember how they went from laughing about Lucifer’s diarrhea to getting back home, positively inebriated and giddy.

“We should move in together,” Jay said as he opened the door, leaning against the doorframe like a peacock trying to show off its tail. “If you don’t mind my alcoholic mother from time to time.”

“Really?”

“Really what? I know it’s fast but you’re basically living with me and we’ve known each other for a while and I… can’t really sleep if you’re not here and”-

“I’m moving in with you. With or without your mom. I can handle that. I think. Hope I will. I haven’t really thought about that but I… you know… like you enough to take one for the team.”

“You just like me…” Jay said, pouting.

“Don’t give me that face.”

“What face?”

“That one. Maybe… just maybe I like you more than like… but you’ll get all smug about it.”

“Me? Never. So… are you irreversibly in love with me and my amazing personality?”

“Yes. Now close your mouth,” Jungwon said, laughing.

“I love you. Just a little.”

“Mhm.”

“I make this big love declaration and you act like Lucifer farted in your face.”

“I said it first.”