Archive of Our Own ^beta

I M

In all fairness to the seniors, they had warned them about this. It's probably M's fault for not heeding Bright's warning. But in all fairness to M , it was Bright , laughing while warning them of Professor Roranjuang's early lectures and strict behaviour. The rest of the seniors had grinned at the story of Bright being kicked out of the lecture hall for checking his phone. So obviously M thought Bright was exaggerating. M had sipped his beer and nodded along, promising to be very careful with their next year's professor when their time came for her compulsory lecture.

He regrets his nonchalant attitude when he receives a text from Wad, bleary eyed, hungry and thinking of quickly grabbing some pork skewers before the lecture starts.

Professor is closing the doors in five minutes. Anyone who isn't here by then isn't allowed to take the course this year.

Well.

Fuck.

M curses and books it, racing through the campus like someone is hunting him. (Which his mother will be if she hears that he didn't manage to attend the course because he was late). Luckily the campus is almost deserted. Professor Roranjuang's class is the only one starting at 7 am sharp.

By the time he arrives at the lecture hall he has coffee stains on his shirt from that one other student loitering around campus and his hair is a complete mess from when he accidentally ran into the low hanging branches of a tree. But the door is still open with a minute to spare. Heavy breathing, but relieved nontheless, he walks in, just to bump right into someone else.

He's just about to complain for the student to watch it, when he recognises him.

It's Kongphob.

They're both blinking at each other for a moment. Kongphob's hair is mussed, worse even than M's (and he ran into a tree) and his shirt is pushed haphazardly into his trousers, which he is currently smoothing out. He looks off, like something about him is different, but M can't put his finger on it.

"Did you sleep in?" M asks, flabbergasted. In all his years with Kong, he's never known him to be this late. Sure, he's technically on time, but for Kongphob, that's basically late.

Kongphob takes him by the arm and guides him up the stairs, to their friends and into the safety of the lecture hall. Or lions's den. M isn't quite sure yet. Prae, Tew, Wad, Oak and May wave at them when they see them coming.

"So? Did you forget to set your alarm clock?" M continues their conversation when he sits down. "It looks like you just rolled out of bed."

Kongphob shrugs, but there's a small smile playing along the corner of his mouth when he says, "The bed was very clingy today."

M frowns, tilting his head slightly. "The bed—"

"Hey," Oak says, looking at something close to Kongphob's collar. "Isn't that the brand you said you didn't like? I didn't buy them just because you said that they're scratchy, even though they were much cheaper."

Kongphob blinks.

He's doing a lot of that this morning. He must not be awake just yet.

"Oh this one? This one is special," Kongphob drags his thumb down his collar in such a precise and careful motion that it takes M aback. He doesn't doubt Kong's words, though he doesn’t quite understand. And Kongphob doesn’t offer an explanation, smiling that private little smile he has for months now.

"I've never seen you wear it," May says. When M looks over to her, she's already blushing, red blooming across her cheeks and quickly turning back to Prae and Maprang.

"It doesn't really suit you either," Oak says with a small frown. "Maybe it's better that you told me not to buy from that brand."

"No," Kongphob says with a surprising amount of vehemence. "This one is perfect."

"Oi Kong, what's that sm—"

"If the gentlemen are finished, may I start my lecture?" Professor Roranjuang asks, her voice like a whip, cracking through their conversation. They all wai at her in apology. The woman only sneers and lets them go with a warning. M quickly pulls out his notepad and starts jotting down the information the woman says in a dizzying speed.

Kongphob ducks his head and takes a breath, that private smile forming on his lips once more. It takes him a moment until he realises what’s been bugging him for weeks now looking at Kongphob smile like that. It’s the one that he usually only has when he's annoying a certain fourth year student.

Oh. 

Well.

M decides he doesn't even want to know.

II Tew

It's an accident.

And to some degree it's a funny one at that. Usually, Tew would be laughing about it with the rest of them, but the moment Oak had tried to lighten the mood with a joke, P'Arthit had thrown him such a dark glare, Oak had immediately crumpled, hiding behind M, as if he were able to protect him. Tew almost wants to say the behaviour reminds him of last year, when they thought that their hazers were serious assholes, before they realised how much the seniors truly cared for them. Somehow, though, that glare is worse than anything P'Arthit had ever thrown at anyone of them before.

And that includes when Kongphob made that claim of making P'Arthit his wife.

"What happened?" P'Knot asks, and Tew is seriously glad for the level headed senior. If it weren't for his presence, Tew thinks he might have been more worried about them.

"We were just on our way back from the last lecture when Kong slipped on a banana peel," Tew says as objectively as possible. He doesn't mention Kong's flapping arms or the way it had looked like he was in a cartoon just before Kong fell back.

It's the sound his head made when it crashed against the ground, a sickening crunch, that still stays with him and got rid of the ridiculousness of the moment. "Kong fell down and hit his head on one of the construction bricks."

"He's going to have a pretty nasty headache," the nurse says, just then arriving back in the room. P'Arthit scoots aside from where he sat down at the edge of Kongphob's bed to give the nurse more room to work. "I gave him some painkillers for now to sleep some of it off. He needs to be woken up regularly, though, to check on his symptoms. If he doesn't throw up, doesn't feel dizzy or dazed, he should be okay. Is one of you going to stay with him?"

Tew exchanges a look with M. It's going to be either of them, he knows. Tew has a paper he needs to finish, so he could look after him, but—

"I'll do it," P'Arthit says, his voice isn't leaving any room for arguments.

The nurse is the least fazed of them and nods, explaining to him in what intervals he should wake Kongphob and what to check when he does. P'Arthit nods seriously, but his eyes never leave Kongpob's face.

"We can help bring him back to his apartment," P'Knot says. P'Arthit's jaw is tight and for a moment Tew thinks he's going to refuse, but then he nods.

P’Arthit gently shakes Kongphob's shoulders. Kongphob stirs. He scrunches up his face, waking up slowly. There’s a relieved breath leaving P’Arthit when Kongphob opens his eyes. Kongphob blinks for almost a full minute, looking like a deer in headlights, like he’s not sure how he ended up here in the first place. When his eyes finally land on P'Arthit, the corners of his mouth immediately stretch into a wide grin.

"P'Arthit!"

"Yeah, it's me," P'Arthit says, surprisingly soft, as if he were genuinely worried Kongphob wouldn't recognise him. "You hit your head," he explains and Kongphob once again simply blinks at him, like P’Arthit's holding all the answers. He reaches to the back of his head and grimaces when he reaches the spot. There has to be a decently sized bump by now.

"I'm okay now."

"You're not okay," P’Arthit scolds, but it’s somehow gentle. Tew didn’t know P’Arthit could sound like this. "You might have a concussion."

"I am, because you are here." P’Arthit lets Kongphob take his hand. He doesn’t do anything with it, just holds it and P’Arthit lets him. From M's reaction next to him he realises he isn't the only one surprised at that.

Arthit's face flushes a very pretty pink, up to the tips of his ears.

"Can you sit up?" P'Arthit asks and it only feels halfway like he's trying to bury the comment.

Kongphob frowns, but follows when P'Arthit slides to the side. Like a magnet needing to follow him.

Once he's upright Kongphob closes his eyes, his hand pressed against his head. P'Arthit slides back, a hand securely at the small of Kongphob's back. "'S spinny," Kongphob mumbles.

There's something in the way Kongphob and P'Arthit are drawn to each other so naturally that it almost feels wrong watching them like this. And although Tew has watched P'Arthit fuss over students before, he knows that their senior has a softer side that he doesn't usually like to show. Watching him be this soft with Kongphob is something very different. Watching feels much more violating.

"I trust you have everything under control, Arthit," P'Knot says, despite the fact that they wanted to help P’Arthit carry Kongphob back to the dorm room, and starts pushing the rest of them outside. 

If he's honest, then Tew is relieved.

"Stay like this for a moment and if it gets worse you can lay back down, okay?"

"Hmmm."

"Kongphob!"

"You could make me, P'Arthit."

"Kongphob, I swear," and Tew thinks it's only because they're already out the door that P'Arthit sounds more endeared than annoyed.

III May

By the time they arrive at the restaurant, May's shoulders and arms ache from the bags clutched in her hands and the tips of her hair are wet with rain. Next to her, Prae lets out a similar sigh of relief, rubbing a spot on her shoulder as she dumps the bags on the ground.

"I really hope this restaurant is worth running through the rain for," May says.

Prae turns to her, grinning widely. "Believe me. The food is to die for."

"Then why don't they have more guests?"

The restaurant is indeed quite empty.

"I think it's mainly due to the location and people not knowing about it," Prae explains as she shakes her hair out. "But that means that we don't need a reservation." She waves at one of the servers, who walks towards her, lowering their head politely.

Armed with the menu they sit down at a table next to the window, overseeing most of the restaurant and yet private enough due to the large plants hiding their table somewhat. With the rain still pouring down, they are the only two guests, though May realises there is a constant stream of cooking and a delivery guy coming in and out, shaking the rain off his shoulders.

The menu is mainly typical Thai food, dishes her grandma used to cook for her. May's still deciding when the door opens once more. Expecting the delivery guy, she doesn't bother looking up, at least not until she hears an exasperated, "I'm fine, Kongphob!"

May looks up automatically, which might have to do rather with the tone of voice than with the words.

There, walking to a table on the other side of the room are P'Arthit and Kongphob. P'Arthit's hair is wet, glued to his forehead while Kongphob's is mainly dry. His hood isn't.

"You're absolutely drenched," Kongphob says, stepping close, far too close than a phi and nong should stand and runs his fingers through P'Arthit's wet strands.

Instead of pushing him away, like May expects him to, P'Arthit closes his eyes for a second. He doesn't quite lean into the touch, but it's obvious that this isn't the first time Kongphob has touched him like that.

The knowledge makes her feel faint for a second.

"Oh," Prae says when she finally turns to look at the same sight. "They're out together again."

This is what catches May's attention. "Again?"

Prae nods, her brows furrowed as she watches them. "I saw them out together when we were still freshmen. I thought they'd gone out together, but P'Arthit denied it."

"I see."

One of the servers has been so kind and brought Kongphob and Arthit a towel. Kongphob gently places it on P'Arthit's head and then scrunches his hair dry. For a quick moment it looks like P'Arthit is going to lean back, but then he halts in the movement and lets Kongphob rub his hair dry.

While May can't see P'Arthit's face, she can see Kongphob's. The absolute adoration she detects in his features is almost enough to overwhelm her. There has been no moment he had ever looked at her even close to this. She can almost hear his voice in her head as he apologises for not reciprocating her feelings and admitting that he likes someone else instead.

And now she knows who that is.

May isn’t sure if it’s better or worse knowing.

Kongphob thanks the servers and hands the towel back before sitting down.

The distance between them is too far. She can't hear them. Their voices are hushed now, but she can tell that they're having an amicable conversation. 

Once their food is plated, May focuses more on Prae and tries to give her advice about the problems she and her girlfriend are facing. It’s something about her girlfriend’s friend group not quite accepting Prae and the lack of support Prae gets from her girlfriend. The more May hears about it, the angrier she becomes. 

Prae deserves better than that. 

By the time they’ve finished the food they’re deep in a conversation about their current papers when a sound catches May’s attention. She turns, just at the right moment to catch P’Arthit mid-laugh, head thrown back. Kongphob, for the lack of a better word, looks pleased with himself. No. Yes, that too, but also proud. 

P’Arthit says something, too quiet again for her to hear it, but Kongphob nods. 

She’s not sure what is said then, but P’Arthit turns back to the restaurant personnel and then, first slow and then quick and all at once, grabs Kongphob’s hand, interlacing their fingers. Kongphob smiles and averts his eyes, staring down at the table cloth for a long moment. 

Somehow it’s this moment that makes her feel warm. 

“We should probably leave without them noticing. Don’t want to ruin their date,” Prae murmurs. 

Yeah, May thinks, that’s probably a good idea. 

IV Knot

The special thing about Arthit is that, among other very good qualities, like how soft-hearted he is and how much he cares, is that he can be completely dumb at times. Especially when it's about people. Either he doesn't realise that people can be interested in him, or he doesn't realise how attractive he is.

Not that Knot is interested in him. But if he were gay, he would be the first person from their friend group he would ask out.

(That probably isn't something completely straight guys say. Anyhow, he will investigate that later.)

The economics student is cute. Her hair is usually tied in a loose braid and her skirt swishes around her calves. She approached them in assistance to a paper that features a minor part specialised in engineering. Prem offered his help, but taking a look at the topic he admitted that his understanding of it was okay, and that was probably generous, if Knot was being honest. Knot himself had to work on his own paper and Bright and Tutah both attended a lecture they failed last year.

Arthit was perfect. He'd written a paper on that topic the year prior and Knot still asks him when he doesn't understand anything.

Since then the economics student, Jan, appeared every few days at lunch, worrying her lower lip to understand what Arthit was teaching her. She was smart, too, asking intelligent questions, frowning at problems and getting ever better at solving them.

And then she started flirting. It's probably too subtle for Arthit to understand the way she smiled at him more and pressed her hand against his when he explained something and the way she brought him special snacks.

+++

Knot doesn't quite pay attention to it. He's revising his notes for the test. Although their professor didn't announce one, he likes to hit them with pop quizzes and Knot won't be surprised by them anymore.

So he isn't quite paying attention to Prem, Tutah and Bright talking. He only sometimes hears his name, but it's mainly talking about what they did during their lunch breaks.

When the room opens, second years spill out. Knot sees May and Prae rush by. He doesn't see but hears Oat, somehow talking over all of them.

He doesn't pay attention to them until Kongphob ambles to them, M behind him, clearly waiting. Kongphob scans their group efficiently, before an infinitesimal frown settles between his brows.

"Excuse me, is P'Arthit not with you?"

Tutah shakes his head, the first of them to react.

"He's probably still tutoring Nong Jan," Knot says. "He'll be here soon, if you want to wait for him."

The frown clears, like Kongphob knows what they are talking about. It makes Knot wonder just how much the kid actually knows.

"Unless she finally manages to ask him out," Prem says. It's nothing. Just a joke thrown around, making fun of Arthit's clear inability to recognise anyone flirting with him.

This time though, Kongphob barely manages to hide the frown. "What do you mean?"

Prem shrugs, but he should know better. They all experienced Kongphob during his first year. If he smells blood, there is no way he will let it go. Especially if it concerns Arthit. If he could, Knot is sure, he would glue himself to Arthit.

"I just mean," Prem starts, "that Nong Jan has been desperately trying to flirt with him."

"Oh?"

Tutah nods, then sighs. "Not that Arthit realises. I swear, she would have more chances if she flirted with a wall. I mean she looked pretty frustrated the last time I saw them."

Something in Kongphob's face changes. A smile, almost secret, just to himself. And somehow Knot feels like this discovery will earn Arthit a different kind of teasing.

+++

When Knot sits down at the table with Arthit and Nong Jan, she looks even more frustrated than last time. Not with her work, as it seems, since Arthit is dutifully checking the maths problems with one check mark after another. She rips her snack open and stuffs the seaweed into her mouth. Crumbs stick to her lips and chin, but she doesn't seem to mind anymore.

"How is tutoring going?" Knot asks as he takes out some of his own papers and books. The report isn't due for two weeks, but he likes to get a headstart.

"Good," Arthit says. "Nong Jan is picking up everything pretty quickly."

Jan smiles at Arthit at the praise, but it's muted in contrast to all the other times she's beamed at him for a similar compliment. Knot listens to them work, to the quiet chewing of Nong Jan's as she continues snacking in between solving the problems Arthit carefully explains to her while starting on his reading.

He's ripped out of his focus when he hears Arthit's voice.

"What are you doing here?"

Wad, Tew and Kongphob have just come to a stop at their table. Wad and Tew wave at them, like they aren't quite sure what else to do. Kongphob watches Arthit with a singular focus.

Him and Nong Jan.

"We were let out early," Kongphob explains. "Everyone whose papers were less than good had to stay back."

Knot nods. He remembers Professor Suridawech and his methods, unforgiving in his student's slacking off.

"May we sit?" Wad asks and Knot looks around. There aren't any free tables around them, so he dutifully slides aside. Wad and Tew shuffle in next to him.

"Yes, of course," Nong Jan says and slides down the bench to offer Kongphob a spot. There's something in Nong Jan easy acquiescence that has Knot frowning momentarily. She slides against Arthit, so he doesn't have a choice but to move down the bench. It leaves both Kongphob and Arthit sitting next to the edge. For a second Knot thinks he sees a tightness around Kongphob's jaw, but then it's gone and he too sits down.

Arthit continues his tutoring session, working with examples and explaining each step she has to take. And although Nong Jan is still studious, she seems distracted. It's enough of a change that Knot stops revising his own notes and pays more attention.

Next to him Wad and Tew start talking among them, drawing Kongphob into the conversation again and again, but his mind seems to drift off again and again. They lower their voices when Arthit glares at them. They continue in a lower register but it doesn't draw Kongphob in. There's something besotted about Kongphob every time he looks at Arthit, when he thinks nobody is paying attention to him.

Almost nobody.

The longer they've been sitting there, the more Nong Jan's attention has wandered over to Kongphob, missing vital steps Arthit explained, which meant delivering one wrong answer after another.

"Maybe we should stop for today," Arthit says, rubbing his temples.

"If you think that's for the best, P'Arthit," Nong Jan says, sounding apologetic but also excited.

Arthit is too nice to glare at her. It has taken him a lot to maintain the hazer facade, so he simply shakes his head and stays quiet when she packs her bag. And while Arthit lets it slide, Kongphob does no such thing, staring at her darkly for a moment until Arthit clears his throat. Kongphob's gaze flits up like a magnet, and though his face clears, there's still a frown between his brows.

Knot expected Nong Jan to leave once everything was packed up, but she stays, seamlessly inserting herself into the conversation.

He exchanges a look with Arthit, but he simply shrugs, so Knot lets it be.

They talk from professors to classes, that Nong Jan mostly listens to, to good food places around campus when Nong Jan admits that she is feeling peckish.

"I like the moo ping stand just outside of campus," Arthit muses. "And that food court at the university," Arthit admits after another moment, almost as if it were an afterthought.

Kongphob's smile softens minutely.

"I'm not a big fan of either," Jan says. "I find most food at the food court a little greasy. What about you, Kongphob? Which places do you like?"

"I like the food court," Kongphob answers. "It has a lot of variety."

"Not that you use that variety," Arthit mumbles.

"What was that?" Kongphob asks, but from the way he grins he must've heard him well enough.

"Nothing."

"I have tried my fair share of dishes there," Kongphob argues.

"Not by your own choices," Arthit mumbles.

"So what's your favourite dish there?"

"Plain Basil Dish."

"I really like that too," Jan says, placing her hand on Kongphob's arm. Kongphob freezes, brows furrowed, like he isn't quite sure what to make out of her.

"Maybe we could go there together sometime. Show me one of the dishes that I might enjoy more."

"No!"

Knot isn't the only one who turns around to face Arthit. Instead of blushing his friend soldiers on, "I mean—He can't. It's—" Kongphob looks at Arthit, wide eyed and with a slow grin blooming on his face.

"Kongphob, come with me!" There are no objections when Arthit hefts his bag over his shoulder, grabs Kongphob's arm and tugs him with him, away from the table.

Knot doesn't miss the wide smile on Kongphob's face, nor the pinched expression on Arthit's.

"What," Wad starts, watching the two of them leave, "the hell was that?"

V Prem

The worst thing about studying for their finals is that they spend all their time in the library. It's not that bad. During their four years together, writing papers and studying, summarising lectures and coming up with lecture notes, spending all their days in the library isn't exactly something new.

It's just made much worse by the fact that the cooling unit has been broken for a week now and that's of course the only available table.

"At least like this we're close to our books," Bright had joked, but tired and hot, none of them had found the humour in it.

"Who has the book about hydraulic ratios?" Tutah asks. Bright groans and buries his head in the books. His miserable sound is loud enough to earn him a few disapproving looks. For good measure Prem whacks him over the head.

"What was that for?"

"Being a nuisance," Prem states and Knot nods approvingly.

"Look," Arthit sounds terse when he talks. "I know this is less than ideal but we have to get through this." There's worry burrowed under his skin, which is ridiculous, because Arthit is the last person not to pass the exams. He and Knot, if Prem is being honest, but his words are enough to calm them all.

They work fairly diligently for about an hour. After that the heat is getting to them all. Arthit chews on the back of his pen, reading the same page for about five minutes, while Tutah has his head in his hands and Bright has put down the same notes for the third time.

If it weren't for the books they couldn't take out of the library, they would have been already gone. Prem needs a break. Desperately. Otherwise he's going to scream at Knot for tapping his pencil irregularly against his book.

"Ah, there you are."

They all look up in tandem. Kongphob has made his way towards them with such a huge basket in his arms that Prem wonders how he got it past the librarian.

"What are you doing here?" Arthit asks, the first of them to find his voice again. Despite looking at Kongphob, Prem feels the quick glance Arthit sends them their way.

"I heard that the library is being … difficult to study in. So I decided to make you a study basket, to help a little."

"New favourite Nong," Bright exclaims.

Kongphob presses his finger against his lips and Bright repeats the sentiment, whispering this time.

"M buys you all the snacks whenever you demand it," Arthit chips in.

"Exactly," Bright says, pointing at Arthit with a chopstick. "No initiative, I always need to tell him myself if I want something."

Arthit rolls his eyes but stays quiet.

There are cool packs in the basket, accompanied by chilled water with the condensation sliding down the bottle. Among them is a single green tea.

Prem makes to pull it out, but Kongphob is faster than him.

"This isn't for you," he states and if Prem weren't so damn exhausted and grateful, he might have fought Kongphob on it. But as it is, he lets Kongphob take it and hide the bottle behind his back. There is some fruit that can easily be transferred to their mouths by chopsticks or forks, nothing greasy, which might damage the books. Prem instead stuffs his mouth with a piece of mango and chews happily, letting the sweet treat slide over his tongue.

Kongphob pulls a chair to the desks and sits down next to Arthit. They are allowed a small break, even if Knot has a small frown between his brows. Luckily his mood lifts the more fruit and water he ingests. They explain their papers and their problems to Kongphob once he asks how they're getting on with their papers.

It turns into all of them throwing in ideas to solve each problem, helping one another to look at it from a different view so much that Prem feels the tension bleed from his shoulders. The paper feels much more doable.

When Prem moves to thank Kongphob for this severely needed break, he catches him busy looking at Arthit. His smile is soft as he reaches out for Arthit. At least Prem assumes that he does, with his hand under the desk, Prem can't be sure.

Arthit mouths something Prem can't quite figure out. He thinks it's thank you , but he's not sure. Kongphob seems to understand as his face becomes even softer. At this point it feels like he's looking at something private, something Prem shouldn't be privy to, so he turns away. His gaze meets Tutah's, who nods at him.

With the next lecture approaching, Kongphob bids his goodbye, gathering the plastic back into his basket.

It's only after Kongphob has left again, leaving nothing but the bottles with them, that Prem notices the green tea in Arthit's hand.

+I Arthit

"We don't have to do it," Kongphob says just before they arrive at the graduation party.

Blindly, Arthit reaches for Kongphob's hand and squeezes it quickly. He's just about to pull his hand back but then decides differently and threads their fingers together. They're warm where the pads of Kongphob's fingers press against his skin, a connection, a lifeline that Arthit needs. Kongphob, like always, seems to know.

With Arthit's graduation looming close and the last exams finished and the paper done, Arthit and Kongphob spent even less time together. Whereas Arthit was waiting for the news as to whether he had graduated, Kongphob was still going to lectures, studying in the library when he needed access to certain books or when a group project was due.

Inconspicuous meetings became harder, the reasons why he couldn't go drinking with Tutah, Prem, Bright and Knot became more ridiculous. And this, Arthit knew, was only the beginning. Once he was hired, he knew that meeting up would only get worse. Plus, Arthit still wanted to be a part of Kongphob's university experience. He wanted to see him grow and go through changes only university would give him.

Which is probably why Kong was somewhat taken aback when Arthit told him, as they were lying in Kongphob's bed, facing each other. Kongphob's hand warm on his waist and the sound of his breaths calming.

"As much as I enjoy keeping you to myself, P'Arthit," Kongphob had said, "I like the thought of showing the world you're mine."

"There's no showing the world ," Arthit argued. Kongphob hummed noncommittally. But he was smiling. Arthit liked to imagine that Kongphob knows the depth of his feelings, especially when his tongue was heavy in his mouth and words seemed impossible to form.

When he does manage Kongphob's eyes light up so much it almost hurts. He deserves the world and Arthit sometimes detestes himself not being able to give it to him more.

"Whatever you decide, I'm okay with it."

Which was the worst because Arthit knows that Kongphob was indeed telling him the truth. No matter how much he would like to come out to the world, Arthit knows that Kong would never actually pressure him to do it.

Which in turn only added more fuel to the fire to actually commit to it. He'd been waiting long enough, enjoying the time when it was just the two of them and he didn't have to worry about anything else but them being together.

Which is how they ended up here.

“We don’t need to make a big deal out of it,” Kongphob says, gently squeezing his hand. “Let’s just walk in and see if anyone spots the difference.”

Arthit exhales, nods, and lets Kongphob pull him with him. 

The music is loud but not obtrusively so. Fairy lights brighten the darkness and benches and tables cover the place. Most of the fourth years have already arrived, as well as a few of their seniors and their juniors. There are quite a few from Kongphob’s year and Arthit can’t help but smile at that. 

Kongphob’s about to let go of his hand when he sees their friends, still mindful of Arthit, Arthit knows. So instead of letting him, he knots their fingers together, though he doesn’t dare look at Kongphob and his probably surprised face. 

It might take some time until Kongphob stops looking at him with wide eyes every time Arthit does something that suggests they’re more than friends outside of their rooms. 

“Arthit!” Bright shouts and waves “Over here!” Arthit waves back with his free hand. Together with Kongphob he walks towards him. Prem, Tutah and Knot are also sitting at the table together with Wad, Tew, M, May, Prae and Oat. 

When they come closer, Knot and Tew slide down one side of the bench, leaving enough space for him and Kongphob to sit comfortably together. His hand feels sweaty, but his fingers are still tight around Kongphob’s, who gives him an awkward squeeze. But Arthit appreciates it nonetheless. 

“Okay?”

Arthit nods tightly. He expects someone, anyone really, to say something, but Tew, May and M continue their conversation with Knot, and Bright says something to Tutah who nods sagely at his words, while Oat and Prae try to keep their laughter in check. Prem checks the pictures on his camera idly, with Wad looking over his shoulder.

Arthit turns to Kongphob. 

Kongphob shrugs, wholly unhelpful. 

“I’m gonna get something to drink,” Kongphob says after a minute. He presses his hand against Arthit’s lower back after wrestling his fingers free, which Arthit was not happy about relinquishing, and leaves. 

Still, nothing. 

Okay, it’s fine.

He feels himself calm as he listens to Bright tell some kind of ridiculous story, and joins in on openly hiding his grin. Tutah really deserves an award for the way he keeps a straight face. 

Arthit feels more than hears Kongphob return. He slides into the seat next to him and sets down a cup of chilled beer in front of him. 

Maybe Arthit really is too paranoid about it. He and Kongphob have been friends in the public eye for over a year now. Maybe they need to be a little more obvious to make them realise they are more than that. 

When Arthit turns his head to look at Kongphob, he realises that his boyfriend is already looking at him. He sends him a tired smile which immediately makes Kongphob go soft in that infuriatingly cute way that he does. 

He can be obvious.

+++

Apparently Arthit can’t be obvious. 

No matter what he does, it doesn’t seem to elicit the desired reaction. When Arthit takes a demonstrative sip from Kongphob’s cup, it’s only met with a raised eyebrow from Prem.

Nobody bats an eye when Kongphob leans over and whispers something in Arthit’s ear, nor does anybody look their way when Kongphob takes Arthit’s hand hostage and pulls and prods at his fingers while telling a story. 

Kongphob demanding to try some of Arthit’s food, and Arthit gently removing a piece of rice from Kongphob’s cheek also remain unremarked. 

When Arthit turns back to Kongphob after a full hour without any kind of reactions from their friends, he sees a thoughtful look on Kongphob’s face. 

It’s when he turns back to face Prem that Kongphob attacks. 

The hand around his cheek is warm and familiar, so he doesn’t really react when he feels Kongphob pull Arthit closer. It’s only when he feels his lips pressed against his cheek that Arthit realises what Kongphob had planned. 

By now it’s already too late. 

The reaction, however, is wholly underwhelming. 

“Oh,” May breathes. And Prem hums a “huh,” and that’s it. 

“Is there anything you would like to tell us?” Tutah asks in a tone that makes Arthit squint at him.

“We’re together,” Arthit says. His anxiety has completely vanished and instead it’s been replaced with a suspicious sort of nervousness. 

"Well, duh," Bright says, clearly unimpressed.

It still manages to catch Arthit unprepared somehow. He blinks. But he's not the only one, he can feel Kongphob stiffen next to him in surprise.

"How would you know that?" Arthit asks. He realises a moment later that the conversation next to them has quieted down and all eyes are now on them. 

"You do realise there are more people in the world than just you two, right?" Tutah teases, but somehow the question feels heavy with something else.

"What?"

“You really aren’t as sneaky as you think you are,” Tew butts in. “There were signs, all through the year. It really … good thing you’re engineers and not secret agents, because you would suck at that.”

Bright nods in support.

“What?”

“Well,” Prae cuts in. “What the others are trying to say is that when it’s about the two of you, you two fail to notice anyone or anything around you. There’s just the other person,” she smiles at them soft and warm. “It’s so romantic.”

Arthit hates this. 

“So you all knew?”

“For months now,” Wad says and, for the first time, Arthit misses the time when their juniors were afraid to step out of line.

Months. 

All the time he and Kongphob thought nobody knew and that they were doing a good job at keeping their relationship hidden from everyone’s sight … they all knew. 

“You are pretty obvious,” Bright teases. 

“You’ve never really learned not to be,” Knot adds, hammering the final nail in. 

By now he can tell that his face is burning, so he lets his head drop against Kongphob’s shoulder, which elicits a laugh from his boyfriend and a gentle pat to Arthit's head. Avoiding the looks from his friends is more important right now than his pride. 

“I hate all of you,” Arthit says. 

“No, you don’t.” Knot cuts in jovially. 

“No, I don’t,” Arthit admits sheepishly. 

+++

The night air is cool around Arthit when he steps out onto the balcony. They’ve arrived back home after more teasing than Arthit has ever encountered. It’s not a bad thing. There is a levity inside of him, something freed from the constant anxious thoughts about what his friends might say about his relationship. 

Kongphob’s shoulder is pressed against his, creating a warm connection between them.

“It’s good like this, isn’t it?” he asks. Arthit feels him shift next to him, but the point of connection stays.

“Yes,” Arthit breathes into the space between them. He turns his head, catching Kongphob already looking at him. It’s like a wave of calm washes over him, pulling him towards Kongphob. 

Kongphob’s breath is surprisingly warm on his lips. 

Somehow it’s freeing, kissing out here, without having to worry anyone is going to see them. It’s just him and Kongphob and the warmth curling up in his stomach. He feels Kongphob’s fingers digging into his shoulder, and Arthit reaches for Kongphob himself. His lips are familiar, pulling and pushing like the waves of the ocean, demanding but never for more than Arthit is willing to give.  

When Arthit finally breaks the kiss, Kongphob pouts. It’s a surreal thought that it’s him Kongphob wants, when he could have had anyone. 

Not that Arthit is willing to let Kongphob go. 

Then a smile dances on his lips, becoming more wicked. There are far too many memories he associates with that smile. Enough that he feels his cheeks burn again. 

“Does that mean we can do that outside of our rooms now? If everybody already knows.”

Arthitt watches him. That cheeky bastard. “In your dreams,” he counters. 

“It’s all you anyway,” Kongphob murmurs, too close again, causing a shiver to run down his spine. 

“Maybe you need to spend the night out here,” Arthit says, hurrying inside. 

“P’Arthit,” Kongphob whines, grabbing his hand and stepping back into Arthit’s bedroom. “You wouldn’t leave me alone out there.”

No, he really wouldn’t. 

This, the smallest crack of weakness is enough for Kongphob to grab Arthit around the waist and drop them onto the bed.

The sheets smell like the man in his arms, and even if Arthit isn’t quite able to voice these thoughts out loud, there’s no version of him who would ever want to miss that. 

To miss this. 

He doesn’t think he could bear it. 

Missing Kongphob in his life. 

Kongphob presses his lips against his forehead. 

Luckily, he doesn’t have to.