Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Leaving hurts but staying can also hurt. Maybe staying is what made him leave.” Is what Book was thinking. She had been laying in her bed for weeks now, not moving once. Nobody knew why she was acting this way except for her best friend, Price Tag.

Prior to Book being depressed now, she used to be really happy. She finally found friends who actually cared about her and even got a boyfriend who she loved more than anything. Her boyfriend was no one other than Nickel, one of her best friends. The two of them were together for a while now and they both really loved each other so much. Book was overly clingy but Nickel didn’t seem to mind it since he enjoyed her clinginess.

Everything was going well for Book. Maybe she finally found the right people she needed in her life. But like usual, something just had to go wrong for Book. She was having a good day like normal, spending time with Price Tag then spending time with Nickel but Nickel wasn’t having a good day unlike Book. He assumed Book was spending less time with him and was instead prioritizing her best friend over their relationship.

Nickel couldn’t take the pain of losing his girlfriend slowly and instead of communicating with Book, he decided to break up with her with the assumption she didn’t love him anymore. When Book walked into Nickel’s hotel room to spend time with him, she didn’t think anything bad was gonna happen today but she was so wrong…

Book sat beside Nickel on his bed, hugging him like she normally did but he pushed her away. This was something Nickel would never do and it made Book start worrying. “Nickel, why’d you push me away? Oh I get it, you want me to kiss you instead!” Book said happily, trying to be more positive and not start thinking negatively. Nickel continued ignoring Book, trying to signal he didn’t even wanna talk to her…

After a couple more minutes, Nickel finally spoke up. “Can you leave me alone? I don’t wanna spend time with you today. Or tomorrow… or ever even.” Once Nickel said those words, Book immediately realized what he was trying to say. Tears started forming in her eyes, a huge sign she was extremely hurt. “Oh, okay. I get it…” Book managed to say while wiping away her tears. She walked out of Nickel’s room, walking to her own room. She tried sending Nickel a message to see if he was actually breaking up with her but she couldn’t send him anything. He obviously already blocked her and wanted no contact with her.

Book closed the door behind her, looking over at her desk. She saw the different photos she had framed of her and Nickel. Without thinking, Book grabbed the different photos and broke the frames then crumbling the photos. She ripped apart more photos she had, falling to her knees and beginning to break down crying. All Book could think about was every single moment her and Nickel shared together. Book wiped away her tears and looked at the mess she made. The one thing that quickly caught her eye was a piece of glass from one of the frames she broke. Slowly picking it up, Book remembered the many promises she made Nickel.

One of those promises being, “I’ll stay clean.” Now that Nickel was gone, she figured she didn’t have to keep that promise anymore. Book slowly rolled up her sleeve knowing she shouldn’t be doing this but her life felt like it had no purpose anymore so what was the point on caring. After a few hours, Book was laying on her bed with nothing but pain in her heart and an aching left arm. Nothing would be able to heal her from this dreadful heartbreak, not even her best friend could help her…

Meanwhile, Price Tag kept messaging Book to see if she was okay since she hadn’t responded to them in a while. They eventually decided to check up on her themselves. When they opened the door to Book’s room, they saw how messy it was. Price Tag noticed all the photos Book kept of her and Nickel were scattered across the floor. Some were ripped apart, others only crumbled up. They slowly approached Book to see if she was still awake or even alive, thankfully she was still alive.

Book didn’t even acknowledge Price Tag walking into her room, immediately not a good sign to them. They remembered Book acted this exact way years ago and it took a long time for her to get better. They noticed how red Book’s eyes were, a sign she had been crying for a while now. Book only managed to glance over at Price Tag before going back to staring at the ceiling. Price Tag rolled up Book’s left sleeve, seeing she had gone too far back into her depression. “Book you’re obviously not feeling okay if you relapsed after you promised you’d stay clean! Come on, tell me what’s wrong…” Price Tag said to Book while wiping away any remaining tears on her face.

“That promise doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters to me anymore…” Book managed to say while looking over at Price Tag. They were confused at first on why Book didn’t seem like herself but then realized what might’ve happened. “Did something happen between you and Nickel today? You two got into an argument, didn’t you?” Price Tag said as they continued attempting to comfort Book. Book only began tearing up more, obviously feeling hurt by being reminded of Nickel. Price Tag quickly realized the two of them didn’t get into an argument but actually broke up…

“You two broke up!? But you were fine yesterday, what happened!?” Price Tag asked Book, hoping she would still be able to talk. Book began tearing up again before finally managing to say something, “I don’t know. He just said he didn’t wanna spend time with me anymore… ever.” Book said with her voice cracking from the tears forming in her eyes. Price Tag walked out of Book’s room and walked over to Nickel’s room.

Book sat up on her bed, grabbing a photo of her and Nickel she kept in her journal. She looked down at the photo, a photo they took the day they got together. Tears started falling onto the photo Book was holding she was extremely heartbroken and didn’t know if she’d ever heal from it. She dropped the photo onto the floor, putting her hands over her face as she started sobbing harder. All Book could manage to do was mutter the words, “I’m sorry” while crying. She fell back onto her bed and wiped away the last of her tears.

When Price Tag made it into Nickel’s room, they began telling him how much he hurt Book and how she obviously still loved him. Nickel explained to Price Tag about how he felt like he was slowly losing Book and decided to just end the relationship before he could get hurt. “Nickel, you could’ve communicated with Book instead of breaking up with her in the worst way possible!” Price Tag told Nickel in a frustrated voice. They didn’t give him a chance to speak before they grabbed him by his arm and dragged him over to see Book’s current state.

When Nickel opened the door to Book’s room, he quickly realized how badly he messed up. Book was now laying on her bed still but with an aching right arm and a more aching left arm. All Nickel could do was stare at what he caused with small tears forming in his eyes. He noticed all the photos of him and Book on the floor, ripped up or crumbled up… Nickel walked out of the room, muttering out one last sentence before walking away. “I didn’t mean to cause all this…”

Price Tag let out a sigh of frustration then walked over to Book, trying to help her feel better but she was already really deeply depressed. They wiped away her tears as Book started talking again. “Maybe I can be happy in another life…” Those words were the last things Price Tag heard from Book before she shut out everyone in her life.

After that day, Book locked the door to her room so no one could enter and closed the curtains to the window. She just layed on her bed for hours everyday, thinking about what she could’ve had if she just wasn’t herself… maybe she could be happy in another life.

Chapter Text

Days turned to weeks and Book still hasn’t come out of her room. She would lay in her bed for hours everyday, staring at the ceiling while holding a piece of glass in her hand. Nobody besides Price Tag checked up on her to make sure she was still okay and alive. Price Tag tried everything they could to make Book stop using the glass on her arms but nothing seemed to work.

No matter how hard they tried, Book wasn’t making any progress on getting better. She could only mutter out a few sentences everyday, every sentence being about how much she missed Nickel or how she wished she could be happier in another life.

Nickel finally found the courage to finally check up on Book and possibly apologize to her. He quietly walked over to her room, slowly turning the doorknob. Nickel slowly walked into the room and started walking over to Book. As he approached her closer, he started noticing how deeply depressed she had gotten. Book couldn’t even glance over at Nickel the way she’d glance at Price Tag, obviously not a good sign.

Nickel just looked at Book, tears forming in his eyes as he realized what he caused. He wanted to apologize and tell her he still loved her deeply but he couldn’t find the right way to word it. Nickel let out a sigh of guilt and figured he should leave and give Book some time to recover. Before he left, he took the glass from her hand and rolled down her sleeves. He couldn’t bear to see the girl he still deeply loved hurting herself for something that wasn’t her fault.

After Nickel left, Book couldn’t stop herself from breaking down into a sobbing mess. She wiped away her tears and sat up on her bed. The one thing that immediately caught her eye was a picture of her and Nickel that she ripped up during her breakdown from a few weeks ago. Book slowly picked up the photo from the ground, relieved it wasn’t too ripped up.

Book opened one of her drawers and pulled out some tape. She began taping the photo back together then putting it into a picture frame she luckily kept incase another one broke. After setting the picture down, Book sat down on her bed and just looked at the picture before beginning to cry again. No matter how much she tried and tried, Book knew she’d never recover from this never ending pain.

Book looked out the window of her room, staring at the stars in the sky. She could only think about the time her and Nickel spent outside, stargazing together while interlocking their hands. Everything just reminded Book of that boy she still secretly loved. Book got up from her bed again and grabbed her journal, opening it up to a new page and writing in it.

Book finished writing and teared the page out. She set it down on her bed before walking into her closet. Book sat there with only her thoughts and that same piece of glass she used on both of her arms. All Book could do was sit there and think about all the moments she shared with Nickel, good and bad. “I’ll still love you forever and always will.” Book whispered as she wiped away her tears.

Nickel had no idea what Book had been doing ever since he left her room. He sat on his bed while scrolling through all the different photos of him and Book on his phone. He wiped away the tears from his eyes and looked out the window of his room. The same stargazing memory came to his mind. Nickel let out a sigh before getting up from his bed and walking back to Book’s room. He just wanted to make sure she was okay and possibly help her recover.

Nickel knocked on Book’s door but no answer. He knocked again but still no answer. He realized the door was unlocked so he slowly opened it and walked into the room. He didn’t see Book on her bed, assuming Price Tag was already helping her recover or at least feel better. Instead of leaving the room, Nickel closed the door and sat down on her bed. He stared at the taped up picture on Book’s nightstand, remembering how happy the two of them were there.

Nickel was about to leave the room before noticing a piece of paper on the bed. He picked it up and began reading it. As Nickel began reading, he started tearing up the more he read. He began breaking down into tears while holding the picture on the nightstand, every bad thing he’d ever said or done to Book came to his mind.

Book was still sitting in her closet, overhearing Nickel crying. She realized that he still loved and cared about her despite everything that had happened just a few weeks ago. Book slowly opened the closet door that quickly caught Nickel’s attention. He wiped away his tears but began tearing up again when he saw Book was still alive. Nickel couldn’t help himself running over to her and giving her a hug.

“Book, oh my god! I’m so happy you’re okay! I-I’m really sorry about what I did! I didn’t mean to hurt you like this..!” Nickel said in between his crying. Book wrapped her arms around Nickel, hugging him back tighter. She finally managed to say something after so long. “It’s okay now. I’m okay now that I have you back in my life.” Book whispered into Nickel’s ear while listening to him sobbing.

The two of them spent the rest of the night together inside Book’s room. They both held hands while staring up at the stars in the night sky. Around midnight, Book slowly began falling asleep and eventually fell asleep on her bed. Nickel layed down next to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He gave her a soft kiss before he fell asleep, holding the girl he’d love and care for the rest of his life.