Archive of Our Own ^beta

Taph was a man of few convictions. And even fewer words.

Nothing short of a recluse- he often spent his time in the shadows of his fellow teammates, choosing to work amongst himself when coordination wasn't needed. 

That's just how he preferred it. A little lonely sometimes, yes– but when eyes were off you there wasn't any need to play court jester. He wasn't much of a talker anyways.

However, that wasn't always the case.

Like right now, he was taking a break. Placating his time away from stringing up tripwires and nestling bombs deep within the map's many cracks and crevices and instead busying his restless hands with an electrician's menial work.

And watching you – of course.

He had planned it out perfectly; sticking to the serried, cloistered corners of the map, where he was sure your presence would be lingering. 

He wasn't being creepy, or anything. Just doing his job– Honest!

As a demolitionist, it was of utmost importance that he was aware of the location of his teammates at all times- should he be wary as to not accidentally maim them with an unchecked explosion. 

And an elusive survivor such as yourself just needed a little extra supervision.

At least, that was the gloze he exchanged with himself. And everyone around him.

Lifting his focus from the generator, wires gently twined in his hands as a hood-obscured gaze flitted over your visage; he tilted his head.

You were humming some sort of outré warble, whilst your fingers idly tapped against the wires you paired- but that wasn't all.

He was used to looking from afar, fairly rarely did he ever find himself in close proximity to you– let alone long enough to linger on the enrapturing allure of your face– but this was better than any subconscious instantiation he had of you.

He'd keep count now, and write it down later; each little purse of your lips, the focused narrowing of your eyes, the way your brows would tick in concentration as your hands elegantly fiddled with the generator. 

Part of him wanted to grumble at the sight- as much as Taph adored you, he was slightly jealous of your preeminence- The admin's certainly took their sweet time making you.

Oh, what he would give to spend hours of his day scrutinizing your countenance under a microscope.

Every freckle, pore, and scar- the varying lengths between each lash that jutted from your eyelids. He could note the discolouration just below your eyes, from a lack of sleep he was sure he could remedy.

Sweat slipped down your forehead, caressing the supple skin of your cheek as the droplets seeped towards your jaw- lining the distinct curve that shaped your captivating physiognomy.

And if he just leaned a touch closer, he could reach out to feel for himself—

"What are you doing?" You lifted your head, no longer hunched over the machine as it hummed to life- you bore a disgruntled look, glancing between Taph and his partially outstretched fingers with a raised glare.

Immediately, he retracted his hand. Fingertips whirring with a slew of soundless word-vomit; shaking his head and insuring that it was 'just an accident', you merely rolled your eyes.

"You're such a dweeb." You spoke with a disbelieving grumble, smacking his hand away as you stood up from the base of the generator. His eyes burned holes in your backside as you walked away with a certain curtness to your stride; undoubtedly on your way to find another machine.

However, twas not your crassness that left him shellshocked, but rather the fact that you had even decided to acknowledge his existence. 

Not even mentioning that your hands had touched, mind you, he was drooling.

But a little touch was nothing, not when he already knew everything about you!

Like when you woke up, what your favorite colour was- which side of the bed you preferred to sleep on, or what kind of fabric felt best against your skin.

You were best friends after all, good friends know everything about one another! You just happened to show your affection through the means of detestation and degradation– which he didn't particularly mind either.

..Admin's above, he would spend hours thinking about it. Pacing the confines of his cabin whilst he mindlessly toyed with the metal strings of his guitar. 

You had such a lovely voice. You could probably sing a baby to sleep- or better yet, him.

You just had the perfect pair of vocal cords. The way your tone would dip and fray with every word, accompanied by the subtle rumbling of your throat as you hummed. 

It was so nauseatingly beautiful.

Part of him wondered if the songs you would sing, just under the cusp of your breath, were mere snippets you'd just happened to remember from your life before; or a mystifying tune you had come up with yourself.

Regardless, he yearned to be the wordless melody to your lyricism. 

Maybe one day he’d get the chance to propose one of the many songs he has written in your likeness.

With an absentminded coo, Taph, plopped down at the edge of his bed, scribbled a sloppy line of notes down on the piece of scrap paper sprawled out against his thigh- beloved instrument propped against his chest- occasionally; lifting his head to gaze out his window.

Conveniently adjacent to your quaint abode.

What desire would he have for a television, when all the entertainment he needed was right there?

Truthfully, he could even waltz over and talk to you. Right now.

If he wanted to.

Passing a contemplative glance between the window, and the unfinished sheet of music in his lap; he ultimately decided to abandon the endeavor of songwriting in pursuit of your affections. 

Haphazardly setting his guitar aside, Taph scrambled up from his bed- smoothing the wrinkled fabric of his robes as he stumbled out his door with the balance of a newborn fawn.

It was only natural that he'd want to look his best- he'd go as far as to preen himself if he had the time- but with the impulsivity of his decision, there was hardly a window to care.

It was eerily quiet tonight. Call him hard of hearing; but not even the crickets seemed to be chirping. 

Maybe this was fate. Just you, him, and a full moon. He was giddy just thinking about it.

Climbing the steps of your porch, hand hovering over the wooden railing, Taph approached your cabin with an initial confidence; knocking on your door with firm knuckles. Letting the sound rivet against the hollow surface.

Until he was forced to sit in the momentous silence afterwards, waiting for you to eventually answer the door; it left him in a dichotomous state of giddy disquietude.

He rocked back and forth, heel to toe as he stood at the front of your door- nervously toying with the overflowing sleeves of his robe as he scrambled to get his act together. 

He had thought this scenario countless times over in his head, and yet no amount of fantasizing could truly prepare him for this moment; knocking on your door in the dead of night, professing his certainly requited love for you.

He was practically kvelling as you opened the door, peering towards him with a glowering stare. 

"It's like twelve in the morning, what the hell are you doing on my porch." You uttered, eyes narrowing as you looked him up and down.

Taph tilted his head, covering his already masked mouth as his shoulders shook in a fit of laughter- only, no sound came out. Not like any ever did.

Your expression dulled, forced to watch as he laughed at humorless inquisition; as if you were the funniest person in the world.

Taph paused, either realizing that you weren't as amused, or that he was just standing there like a bumbling idiot- probably the latter- he reached to sheepishly rub the back of his neck through his hood.

He'd rather not look like a fool in front of the survivor of his dreams.

Inhaling awkwardly, he raised his hands; gloved fingers moving with the signed syllables of his confession. 

At least, that's what you assumed it was.

Something along the lines of 'I've been watching you'. Honestly, you weren't paying too much attention to the flurry of his signage. Just the more important bits and pieces.

"You what." Your expression widened a tad, devolving to a look of mild bewilderment- your lips parted slightly in disgust.

Taph paused, a finger slipping just under his chin- gesturing towards himself, before pointing at you. Tilting his head in a sheepish manner, like he hadn't just shamelessly admitted to being the commune's biggest creep.

And now, you seriously needed to consider who your neighbors were.

"Dude. no." Your brows furrowed, clutching the door firmly with the full intent to shut it in his face- you appeared entirely apprehensive to his advances. "You're like- seriously a freak. And not the good kind."

Taph stood, utterly stupefied by your rejection as you slammed your cabin door shut- followed by the distinctive click of the lock.

He was dumbfounded. Mainly because his entire perception of your very mutual relationship- in his opinion- had just come crashing down before him in the utterance of a few, measly words.

The worst they could say was not no.