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If anyone were to ask Joe how he'd gotten into that situation, he'd genuinely say that he had no fucking clue. He knew he'd gone to the bar after closing hours to complain about yet another newfangled ridiculous policy to keep the pandemic at bay. He knew they'd begun to argue, as per usual when it came to those matters. He knew they'd broken that idiotic six-feet rule within seconds so they could yell in each other's maskless faces. He knew Ted had waved that stupid fucking finger at him and lectured him about protecting his vulnerable constituents. But after that is where things get hazy.
Somewhere along the line, something deep inside Joe just snapped .
And from that dam burst forth an intensely wanton need to have . One moment, Ted was calling him a selfish asshole. The next, Joe had sprung on Ted with an animalistic glint in his eyes, dragged him all the way to the men's restroom, and crammed them both into the biggest cubicle it had.
Now as Joe fumbled with Ted's clothes, all he could think was along the lines of 'No way in hell am I going to be seen like this through the windows by some random passerby'. Not when all he wanted at that moment was to be balls-deep inside the folk's beloved mayor and to go to town on that ass.
Buttons went flying as Joe's sudden lack of fine motor control had him impatiently ripping Ted's stupid vest open. That equally stupid shirt followed suit in the same violent manner. Joe ignored the mayor's protests and slapped Ted's hands away whenever he tried to defend himself. Not a moment later, Ted's belt buckle hit the ground with a metallic clink and his pants were pooled around his ankles. Joe reached for underwear but was met with bare skin, stopping him in his tracks. "Huh. Didn't take you for a freeballer."
"Have you lost your goddamn mind?!" Ted screeched. He tried to cover himself only to have his arms pinned to the wall.
Joe barked out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, I suppose I did." His pupils were blown as he looked the man up and down and drank in the sight of the town mayor's bare chest, bushy privates, and hairy thighs. His mouth began to water - something he thought was impossible. He couldn't believe he was actually drooling over Ted- fucking -Garcia of all people.
Ted wrenched his arms out of Joe's grasp and shoved him away. Or tried to, because all it did was make him sway slightly. "Get your fucking hands off me or I'll-"
"You'll what?" He shoved back, slamming Ted against the wall. "Call the cops?"
Ted had a good three inches on him, but at that moment height meant nothing. Joe pressed closer until their noses were brushing against each other, and he sneered in Ted's face. "You ain't doing jackshit and you know it! Now turn the fuck around."
His eyes widened in shock, and Ted didn't want to admit it but Joe's commanding voice made his cock twitch.
Ted didn't move a muscle. So Joe took matters into his own hands and physically manhandled Ted to face the wall, bending him over and posing his hips so his ass was on full display. Then he paused and shook his head, wondering if he had hit his head that day to make this a sight that got his dick so hard that it was straining against the front of his jeans.
Thankfully, his hands were more cooperative this time. Joe made quick work of his own belt and zipper before shoving his pants and briefs down just enough for his dick to spring out.
"J-joe?" Ted turned his head as best he could in that position to look at him with wide eyes. He looked a little nervous and confused about the sudden turn of events.
"Just let me enjoy this." Joe quickly shushed him and marveled at how big Ted's ass was and he never noticed. He grabbed a cheek in each hand and squeezed. God, this is one fat ass.
Impulsively, he gave it a hard smack and reveled in the high-pitched yelp Ted let out. The second slap had Ted gasping. By the fifth, Ted's butt was bright red and he was trying - and failing - to hold back his moans.
"Fuck! A-are we really doing this, Joe?" Ted was in denial. There was just no way. No way he was getting impatient. No way he was this close to start begging the sheriff to get on with it and fuck him already!
"The fuck does it look like?" He snapped. "So maybe I just learned that I like ass. Sue me!"
Always so fucking pissy! Ted's forehead hit the wall with an exasperated sigh. "I can't believe I'm gonna have sex with Joe-fucking-Cross out of everyone in town. The world truly is ending."
"Oh shut the hell up already!"
There was no lube. Joe cursed internally. Of course they wouldn't have lube. They were two straight men who've never thought of other men that way! Not until fucking now for some only-God-knows reason!
Fuck it! Joe put two of his fingers into his mouth and licked until they were coated in saliva. He pressed his fingers against Ted's hole and felt it flutter involuntary at the touch. Joe had to suppress a shiver. For a moment, Joe thought he ought to take things slow. Then his excitement won out and he shoved both fingers in at the same time. Ted jolted in shock before Joe took control and held him still as he roughly fingered him.
Ted gasped and whined from the mix of pain and pleasure. "Fucking- ease up, Joe! It's not like I'm going anywhere. Not with you keeping me here against my will!"
"Shut up." Joe muttered with annoyance but did as he was told. Immediately, he was rewarded with a sigh of relief and an approving moan. Desire clouded his thoughts once again until a sobering realization slapped him in the face. Had Ted meant what he said? Was this against his will? And if yes, what did this make Joe? He stopped what he was doing and noisily cleared his throat to get Ted's attention. "You- you good with letting me fuck you though, right?"
Ted rolled his eyes and let out a huff. Like you even care. "Just get it over with. If it helps you get it out of your system-"
"Bullshit!" Trust the man to piss him off just like that. His hand slipped out of Ted's asshole only to grab the man by the hair and pull his head back. Joe hissed into his ear. "I am gonna fuck the hell out of you, but I'm not gonna be a fucking rapist!"
"Fuck you, Joe!" Ted ground his ass against Joe's groin and tried not to moan too loudly at the feeling of Joe's cock catching on his rim before sliding along the cleft between his buttcheeks. He couldn't believe that he was actually excited. He couldn't believe that he'd been hard and throbbing with want ever since Joe slammed him face first into a wall, pinned him down with one arm, and shoved those fat fingers up his ass. He grit his teeth in frustration because why the fuck do I actually want more ? "Yes, I fuckin' want this! Now fucking fuck me already, jackass!"
Joe's mind was a train wreck.
Ted. Ted-fucking-Garcia was moaning like a whore and grinding on his dick.
What.
Ted was right. The world truly was ending.
Joe's face was so flushed it was purple, and he swore there was smoke coming out of his ears. Not knowing what else to say, he threw Ted's words back at him. "W-well, fuck you too, Ted!"
He released Ted's hair so he could spit on his hand. Then he gave himself a couple of strokes, spreading spit and precum over his throbbing dick. Joe was so hard. He'd never gotten so hard before, not even with his own wife - who'd just ran away two weeks prior to be with that cult leader who understood her better than Joe ever could. Huh. Maybe that was why he blew up on Ted. Maybe that's why Ted's soft brown eyes were starting to look so... pretty and inviting. God knows Ted was, quite literally, the only person who still looked him in the eye ever since-
No. He shook his head. You're overthinking again. That doesn't mean anything. This- this didn't mean anything. This was simply a... release.
Joe lined himself up and began to push past that ring of muscle. Ted's body clenched tight from the intrusion but Joe refused to stop moving. His mouth went slack. The rough drag inside that tight heat was sinful. And just as sinful were the sounds coming out of Ted's mouth.
"Fuck! You're so fucking tight." Joe gasped the moment he bottomed out. Everything was so much. So hot. So tight. The walls clenching around him sent lightning bolts of pleasure shooting up his spine, and it took everything he had not to come right then and there.
Ted wasn't faring any better.
"Oh god. Fuck- Joe-" Ted broke off with a moan. His head fell forward, the fake wood feeling like a balm on his heated skin. He felt so filled up, so full of Joe it was like he couldn't breathe. "Shit. Fuck. God, you're big. You didn't even look that big! How-"
"I'm bigger than you could ever be, Ted." He'd gotten so used to fighting with Ted that the insult left his mouth without him even realizing it.
Ted burst into laughter, not taking the ridiculous retort to heart, but then just as quickly he broke off into a whimper when that small movement lit sparks and spitfire across his skin.
Joe took a few breaths to gather his composure before pulling out halfway. Ted jumped, startled by the sudden movement. He hadn't expected anything to happen so soon. Then Joe snapped his hips forward, making Ted yelp. After a few short thrusts, Joe couldn't hold himself back any longer and started slamming into Ted with gusto.
"Gah! S-slow down! Fuck!" Ted jerked away. Or tried to. Being pressed against the wall by an unexpectedly solid sheriff left no room for movement. Ted reached back and tried to grab whatever he could reach to slow him down, only for Joe to twist his arms behind him.
With one hand, Joe held both of Ted's wrists to the small of his back. Joe's other hand had Ted's hip in a death grip, keeping Ted bent in that perfect breeding position. All the while, Joe continued to roughly fuck him against the flimsy cubicle wall.
"Joe, stop!"
Joe didn't bother holding back another sneer. It wasn't like Ted would see it anyways. "No."
"Joe!" He whined and tried to pull his arms free. Joe had barely given him any time to adjust and he just knew his ass was gonna be killing him later.
"No!" Joe shook the man roughly, giving him a taste of the strength he was holding back. "You're gonna fuckin' take what I give like the fuckin' whore you are!"
And damn , did that send a thrill of excitement down Ted's spine and straight to his groin.
"No! I-" Ted broke off with a loud whine. He knew he was so pathetically helpless and he shouldn't be enjoying it. Not when he was being held down so easily by Joe-motherfucking-Cross . He had to do something .
The mayor fought valiantly for a good while longer than the sheriff expected - much to Joe's surprise and approval - before eventually going limp. Ted moaned loudly, eyes glazing over with pleasure as he let Joe take control and use his pliant body as his own personal sex doll.
The cubicle walls creaked ominously under the weight of two men pressed against it. Joe briefly wondered what would happen if it did break, before realizing that it probably wouldn't even matter and he'd just continue fucking Ted on the floor. That was how much he wanted Ted.
Fuck.
I want him.
Joe let go of Ted's hip and snaked an arm around his waist to grab Ted by the dick and balls, and squeezed , ripping the most divine whimpering squeal out of the mayor.
"This is mine . Got it?" He growled into Ted's ear between thrusts. "Your ass belongs to me! You- you belong to me!"
Ted nodded shakily against the thin laminate, unable to voice anything other than babbled gibberish and punched-out moans.
That wasn't enough for Joe. With a burst of anger, he planted his feet firmly and started fucking Ted harder and faster, putting his whole weight into pushing himself deeper into his ass. The harsh slaps of skin on skin echoed through the room.
" Answer me !"
"Yes! Yes!" Ted sobbed, voice going up an octave. "'m yours! All yours! Please, I-"
He broke off with another cry. It was all too much. Too rough. Too fast. Too goddamn fucking good .
Satisfied, Joe decided to play nice, letting go of his tight hold to jerk Ted off in time with his thrusts.
"Oh god! Yes please! Oh fuck! I'm gonna- Joe, I'm gonna come!" Ted's voice reached new heights as he wailed. His body felt like a loaded spring ready to snap.
"Then come on, Ted." Joe whispered into his ear, desperately urging him to come before he did. "Come for me, my little bitch!"
Ted shuddered violently and came with a silent scream. Joe's hips stuttered and he had to put his whole focus on not coming right then and there with those tight walls clenching around him in waves and sending a rush of ecstasy all the way from his brain to the tips of his toes. There was no way he was going to lose to this. Joe was going to fuck Ted through his orgasm - and more - whether Ted liked it or not.
But Joe could feel the heat pooling in his groin. He knew he wasn't gonna last much longer. He grabbed onto Ted's hip again and snapped his hips in sharper circles, chasing his release.
Ted twisted in his hands, trying once again to break free of his grip - and failing miserably.
"Joe! Joe, please!" Ted's voice pitched up even higher from overstimulation. "Please just- fucking come in me already!"
Tears were running freely now, mixing with his sweat, soaking his mustache, dripping down his chin. Without thinking, Joe ducked his head forward to lick at Ted's face.
It was the burst of salt on his tongue that did it. As he crested his peak, Joe buried himself deep and pressed his whole body as close as he could to Ted's - as if pressure alone could connect them, meld them together into one singular being, in mind, body, and soul. Joe came with a guttural noise, mouth still open as he licked the wetness off Ted's cheek.
For several minutes, the only sound was the heavy panting of the two men.
After catching his breath, Joe gingerly pulled himself out and let go of Ted. And without Joe's support, Ted immediately fell to his knees.
Ted was a disheveled mess. His hair was sticking up in random directions. His face was blotchy from crying and all the exertion, wet with tears and sweat and Joe's saliva. His clothes were torn, buttons missing, pushed halfway over his shoulders. There was a red imprint of his bolo tie on his chest. And yet. Even with all that. At that moment, Joe thought that Ted had never looked more beautiful.
"You think I'm beautiful?" Ted smiled weakly and looked up at him with eyes that glittered with unshed tears.
"What?" Joe hadn't realized that he'd said that out loud. What is going on with me today? To hide his embarrassment, Joe grabbed Ted by the hair - and ignored how his dick twitched at the sound of Ted moaning when his hair was pulled. Joe directed him to face the mess on the cubicle wall.
"Clean it up." He ordered. "And don't swallow ."
Ted obeyed, dutifully licking his own cum off the wall and carefully holding it on his tongue.
When the wall looked sufficiently cleaned, Joe then pulled him up to stand. Ted stumbled a bit, his legs quivering harder than a newborn foal's after Joe had fucked him so hard he'd seen stars. Suddenly, Ted's knees gave out on him.
Ted expected to hit the ground.
Instead, Joe caught him in his strong arms and easily held him up - something that neither man thought would ever happen. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment until Joe couldn't take it anymore and captured Ted's lips in a fervent kiss.
Joe could taste the salt and bitterness, but behind it was something else that he couldn't name but felt so wholly Ted - and he couldn't get enough of it. Joe started kissing harder, pushing forward until Ted's back hit the wall. He forced his tongue past Ted's soft lips and licked around inside his mouth, trying to get more and more of that ambrosial taste.
Then Ted took Joe's face in both hands, physically slowing him down and turning their kiss into something softer, more meaningful. More - dare he say it - loving .
The moment he realized what was happening, Joe shoved himself away. He scrambled back until he hit the opposite wall, trying to put as much distance as he could between him and Ted.
"This- this means nothing ."
Ted scoffed. "Coulda fooled me."
"I mean it, Ted!"
"Oh yeah? Your cum leaking out of my ass says otherwise."
As if on cue, Joe looked between Ted's legs to see trails of white running down his inner thighs. Joe could feel his cock begin to stir at the sight. His mouth started to water again and he had to rip his eyes away from the lewd display. Fuck. Next time that's going on your face.
"Next time?" Ted smirked at the deer-in-the-headlights look on Joe's face.
"I didn't say shit!" Voice turning shrilly with indignation, Joe tucked himself back into his pants and hurried to make himself look presentable. "And nothing happened between us!"
Ted barked out a laugh, making no move to get dressed. "What? You forgot already? Tsk tsk. Should you be running for mayor with those memory issues?" He teased.
"Listen here-"
"You said I'm yours. Guess that makes you mine too, huh?" Ted grinned at him, eyes sparkling something fierce.
Probably still running off that post-orgasm high. Joe thought angrily.
"Get those fuckin' puppy eyes outta my face!" Unable to look the man in the eye any longer, Joe yelled and all but ran for the door. "I'm going!"
As he made his way to the exit, he could hear Ted calling out after him.
"Better put your fuckin' mask on, asshole!"
And for the first time since that psychotic mask mandate was put in place, Joe didn't put up a fight - or even utter a single complaint, to Ted's surprise - and made his way home with a mask firmly on his face.
Joe still didn't agree with the increasing number of COVID protocols Ted kept dumping on the town, but at the very least the stupid mask hid the dopey smile that grew on his face with every step.