Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Candidate Proposal – To be completed by the candidate

For your project, collaborate with your partner to present at least three locations that hold a personal importance to you. Each place should be described in detail, and you should include a short summary of the local history, adding references where relevant. Consider including personal anecdotes, photographs, video recordings or physical souvenirs to enhance your presentation.

This project is designed to assess your abilities, challenge your views, and promote self-exploration.

- - -

Assigned groups:

XXXX, XXXX

Nishihara Miyako, Hirai Hikaru

Masayoshi Oishi, Akari Kito

Tsukasa Yugi, Mei Shijima

Kou Minamoto, Sousuke Mitsuba

Ogata Yuichi, Katakuri Shika

Shun Yokoo, Yomogi Satou

XXXX, XXXX

XXXX, XXXX

…

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Kou huffed as he placed the slip of paper into his bag. He really hated group projects. He could never say no to anybody, so he always ended up doing most of the project by himself. But not this time. This time, he would put his foot down and refuse to falter.

The project itself was fairly straightforward enough, as long as his partner pulled their own weight. Their school was situated between quite a few famous landmarks, and the train was fairly cheap and quick to take for places that were outside of walking range. Plenty of festivals were also set to take place around this time of the year too, so he was sure that they wouldn’t have any difficulties with finding locations to visit.

There was just one nagging issue – Kou’s partner.

Kou didn’t know of anyone called Sousuke Mitsuba.

Granted, he wasn’t the most popular guy out there, but he was quite familiar with most of his classmates’ names.

His brother, Teru, was the more popular one out of the two of them anyways. The popularity king, Student Council President and ranked number one. He attracted all sorts of attention from both girls and guys alike and was endlessly busy with various meetings and other class president duties.

Kou on the other hand, often had to rush home each day, too busy with housework and taking care of Tiara, to interact with his fellow classmates much. They would exchange pleasantries and have friendly small talk, but that was about it. Even so, he’d like to believe that he was on good terms with mostly everyone.

He was sure that he didn’t know of a Sousuke Mitsuba in his class.

Oh well. He could worry about all of this later, Kou sighed as he made his way to his next lesson.

* * *

It was nearing the end of the school day now. The bustling atmosphere had died down a while ago since everyone was focused with cleaning their designated areas. The blackboard had been wiped clean, the faint scent of chalk lingering through the air tickled his nose. The mahogany floorboards glistened in the light while Kou was scrubbing away at his desk.

The faint rustling of papers being filed away, accompanied by the gentle breeze of the wind, softly grazing his cheek.

Beams of sunlight dispersed through the open windows, painting the room in vibrant yellow and orange mosaics. Distant chattering could be heard from the hallways and somewhere in the background, the clock was ticking away, filling the room with it’s steady and constant beat.

“Hey, Minamoto-kun.”

Was Sousuke a new transfer student? Kou pondered as he continued wiping down his desk, his hand delicately tracing the natural wood grains in the desk. Although it seemed to be in pristine condition, upon closer inspection, small imperfections littered its surface - each left behind by the hundreds of pupils who once sat at this desk before him.

Each with their own aspirations, hopes and dreams.

What were his dreams? He knew he would inevitably take over the family business after Teru, but would he be able to take on such a big responsibility? It was no secret that his older brother was the perfect candidate for the job, with his perfect poker face, stone-cold negotiations, and unwavering tone. He was always great at nearly everything he tried, so as much as Kou loved him, he couldn’t help but feel suffocated by the towering expectations at times.

“Minamoto-kun.”

The vibrant colours of the room around him faded into a blur and he found himself lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. The clock was still ticking away in the background, echoing loudly throughout the room now, calling for his attention.

Time was this fickle, demanding thing. A thing that consumed his mind each waking day. It followed his every breath, lurked within the shadows, and kept him awake throughout the night. Clocks were a constant reminder of all the time he was wasting way – doing all of these pointless things. Worrying about the future. Worrying about his worries.

But enough of that. He should focus his energy on the here and now. He had a project to work on after all, and a partner that he needed to track down.

Kou would have to make a good first impression with this Sousuke guy. He would need to introduce himself, shake their hands and make them feel welcome, right? Was he missing something else? Maybe a welcome gift? Or was that too much?

“MINAMOTO-KUN!” a voice pierced through his lingering thoughts, dragging him back down into reality. His surroundings cleared up, and his hand tightened around the rag, grounding him.

“Ah, sorry- I was deep in thought,” Kou chuckled nervously, a faint pink rising to his cheeks. “Do you need something?”

The boy stood opposite of Kou’s desk, arms crossed as he was watching at him with an unamused expression, “I don’t think that desk could possibly get any cleaner than it already is. I can practically see my reflection in it. Everyone left ages ago, by the way. I thought that I should let you know - you seemed pretty distracted.”

Kou’s panicked eyes scanned across the room, but sure enough, it was empty apart from the two of them and the rows of desks. Had he seriously been zoning out for that long? He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and sure enough, it had been almost an hour after school had officially finished.

He was going to be an hour late home.

“Ah, already!? T-Thanks for letting me know!” Kou frantically bowed, snatching his bags. He was already making a mental checklist of the things that he had to do - cook dinner, wash the dishes, tuck Tiara into bed, clean the bathrooms…

“Wait-!”

He reached his hand out, but before he could say anything else, the door slammed shut and Kou was already long gone, leaving him standing alone in the classroom.

What was he always in a rush for? The pink-haired boy huffed in annoyance as he began to pack up his belongings too.

* * *

Soft melodies of singing birds flowed through the air, their harmonies delicately blending with the gentle laughter of students. The walls were warm from the morning sun casting its golden glow through the clouds and the faint whirring of fans could be heard throughout the halls. The big school bell chimed, signalling that a new school day had begun.

He had warned her to bring a coat before playing outside. Kou internally groaned as he carefully placed his shoes into his locker.

He arrived home yesterday, drenched in sweat, to a coughing and sneezing Tiara, a worried Teru, and a burnt wall in the kitchen. But the wall was the least of their concerns. The doctor had assured both of them that Tiara just had the common cold, but Kou couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

He could picture her laying in bed right now, buried in thick layers of fluffy blankets, surrounded by plushies and probably snuggling up with Fairy.

At least his mother was home to take care of Tiara today.

As he was closing up his locker, the rhythmic sound of light footsteps gradually grew louder before suddenly stopping beside Kou. He turned his head slightly, facing the approaching person.

Ah, it’s the guy from yesterday.

“Hey, Minamoto-kun. Do you have a spare pen I could borrow?” The boy waved, his yellow scarf dangling loosely from his neck. He was slightly shorter than Kou and had one of those cameras from the photography club peaking out from behind his scarf.

“A pen? Yeah, sure thing!” said Kou as he reached into his bag, pulling out a peculiarly coloured pen.

“Didn’t take you for the type of guy to have sparkly pink pens,” the pink-haired guy chuckled as he took the pen from Kou’s hand, placing it in his pocket. “Thanks.”

Kou’s hand rested back on his neck. “Ah, I’m not. It’s probably one of my sister’s pens.”

“You have a sister?”

Before Kou could open his mouth, a booming voice reverberated through the hallway.

“HEY, BIG NEWS EVERYONE! PRESIDENT MINAMOTO IS IN THE MARKET FOR A LOVER!!”

“Huh??”

“Oh!”

“No way!?”

The floor began to shake violently, as the deafening sound of footsteps rumbled closer. Suddenly, a horde of people burst into the corridor, seemingly out of nowhere, and charged down the hall like a pack of blood-thirsty wolves locking onto their prey.

High-pitched squealing and rustling of clothes and bags filled the hallway that was completely silent a moment ago.

As they raced past, the boy beside him screamed in terror, squeezing himself into the lockers behind him as quickly as possible.

Kou, on the other hand, reacted a second too slow. Someone collided shoulders with him and the impact caused him to fly into the danger zone. He flung his arms around aimlessly, as if he were drowning in the ocean, as he tried to fight back in the unforgiving sea of students.

His attempts were futile.

Before long, he was swept far, far away.

* * *

“-And then I ended up late for my first class,” Kou grumbled, placing an apple onto his lunch tray.

“Never a dull moment with you, huh?” Yokoo laughed behind him, causing his tray to sway slightly.

The three of them were lost in conversation as they navigated through the busy cafeteria, occasionally stopping to greet fellow classmates.

Satou glanced around for an empty table, eyes widening as he spotted one. “Anyways, you’ve seen the new assignment, right? Have you planned out where you’re going, Kou?” he asked as they continued walking forward.

“We’re thinking of heading out this weekend to Satou’s old hometown. I’ve heard that one of the shops there make the best dango!~” Yokoo cheered, his mouth watering slightly as Satou chuckled lightly in front of them.

“I-uh haven’t thought about the project,” Kou sheepishly said, “I’m having trouble with my partner.”

Satou sat himself down at the empty table, swiping away at a stray crumb. “Hm? Does someone have a grudge against you?”

“But you get along with everybody!” Yokoo said, placing his lunch down beside him.

Kou placed his tray down before waving his hands around in defence. “It’s nothing like that! I just-”

“--TSUKASA!”

The sudden collision sent Kou tumbling backwards. His eyes shut closed, as he braced for the impact. He felt someone grasp the front his shirt tightly. One of his arms instinctively wrapped around the mystery figure’s jumper, while his other arm spread out behind him, softening the fall.

Crash!

“O-Ouch!!”

Kou’s eyes flew open as strands of familiar pink silky hair fluttered in front of him, tickling his face. They were close enough that Kou could spot the small mole underneath his eye, and smell the faint scent of sweet vanilla wafting from his neck.

They were both in quite the precarious position, with Kou’s legs loosely wrapped around the boy, and the latter awkwardly draped over him, with a death-grip on his shirt.

The boy’s hand loosened as he met his eyes, “Minamoto-kun!?”

They simultaneously jolted backwards in shock, hyperaware of their positions. Kou awkwardly coughed before inelegantly picking himself up from the floor. Seeing that the other was still sitting down, Kou hesitantly offered his hand to the pink boy.

“Are you alright?” finally asked Kou. He nodded subtly as Kou pulled him up from the ground.

Stifled giggles caught Kou’s attention. As he glanced to the side, a short boy with dark bobbed hair stood there, his hands covering his mouth. He seemed to be the culprit behind all of this.

A wide, unsettling smile crept onto his face. Something about way his guy stood with his void-like eyes, sent a shiver down Kou’s spine. Creepy.

But before he could say anything, the boy turned around and sprinted at a record-breaking pace, almost crashing into another crowd of students.

“GET BACK HERE, TSUKASA!!-” the pink-haired guy screamed, uncharacteristically loud, as he dashed off after the troublemaker.

Kou groaned as he sat and leaned back in his chair, avoiding eye-contact with the two sitting opposite of him.

“As I said, never a dull moment with you, huh?” Yokoo chuckled, picking up his cup. Kou took a bite out of his apple to avoid having to respond.

The three of them ate in silence, with the occasional bickering here and there. Kou felt himself relax as they fell back into their routine: Satou begging for Yokoo’s dessert, Yokoo refusing, causing the former to (jokingly) threaten to end their friendship, which then forces Kou to give up his dessert to break up the squabble.

“Oh yeah, you didn’t finish off what you were going to tell us,” Satou said, while taking a bite of his stolen cake. “What’s up with your partner?”

Kou chewed for a moment before responding. “I was partnered up with someone named Sousuke Mitsuba, but I-uh, don’t know who that is.”

“Oh, Mitsuba-kun?” Yokoo head perked up.

“You know him?!” Kou’s head snapped towards him.

“The guy you just bumped into,” Satou flatly interjected. “Or more accurately, the guy that bumped into you.”

“He’s in the photography club, right? The one who won a bunch of awards?” Yokoo said, eagerly digging his chopsticks into his rice. “I remember him taking our photos for the yearbook.”

Kou yelled, his hands smacking the table. “S-Seriously!?”

Kou’s eyes darted towards the dissipating crowds, desperately scanning their faces, hoping to catch a glimpse of the pink figure. But he must have left ages ago. His stomach churned, threatening to bring up his lunch, as his gaze dropped back down to his empty lunch tray.

Of course. That Sousuke Mitsuba.

* * *

Chapter Text

* * *

“Nice to meet you. I’m Sousuke Mitsuba,” the pink-haired boy smiled as he reached out his hand. “We’ll be sitting in alphabetical order for a while, so let’s be friends, okay?”

* * *

“Yokoo-kun, stop moving. The photo’s going to end up blurry,” Sousuke groaned for the nth time that day. “And Satou-kun, stop staring at the trees!! Look. At. The. Camera.”

This was the fourth spot that he had dragged them to, insisting that ‘this was the final one’. It was easily the hottest day of the year and there wasn’t even the slightest breeze to cool them down. Yet here they were, forced to sit on these random logs in the middle of the field, in direct, scorching sunlight.

Sousuke gazed through his camera, before looking up and tilting his head.

“Minamoto-kun, lean closer towards your right. Your big head’s barely in the shot.”

Kou tensed before awkwardly shifting towards the right. He really hated getting his photo taken. His face was definitely red from the blazing heat, and his smile too wide and lopsided.

Snap!

After a gruelling half an hour, they had finished up with the photos and were taking a small refreshment break underneath the shade before heading back.

“Mitsuba-kun is quite particular when it comes to his photos, huh?” Yokoo chuckled while sipping at his iced tea.

“I really hope that the pictures turn out well,” said Satou as he wiped at the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “This summer heat is gonna be the death of me.”

"Maybe we would've finished up earlier if someone wasn't distracted."

Kou grinned as he cracked open his drink and downed it. Refreshing. He really wasn’t a summer person either, favouring the winter months instead. He glanced around, suddenly realising that they were missing a person.

Sousuke was kneeled down on the grass, folding up his tripod, while surrounded by all of his other camera equipment. His light blue jumper was tied across his waist, covered in blades of grass. Stray hairs were plastered onto his forehead and his ponytail was loose from all of the walking they had done. A bead of sweat dripped from his chin onto his white t-shirt.

“Here,” Kou held out the peach juice in front of him.

Sousuke looked up, seemingly just noticing his presence.

“Ah, thanks Minamoto-kun,” he sighed in relief as he placed the cold drink on his forehead.

They both sat in a comfortable silence as they drank. The clouds swirled intricately in the sky, temporarily shielding them from the sun. A lively flock of sparrows flew through the sky above them in a mesmerising dance, weaving between each other effortlessly, as their chirps harmonised with the symphony of nature around them.

Instinctively, Sousuke brought up his camera and snapped a few photos as they delicately perched themselves onto the nearby trees. He brought the camera down, proudly looking through the images.

Kou leaned forward and stared intensely at a particular photo. “…I don’t get it.”

“No offense Minamoto-kun, but you seem like the type of guy to fail art,” Sousuke chuckled, before letting the camera dangle freely from his neck. He crossed his arms behind his neck while he took in the view.

“Hey! I could totally take good pictures too! Maybe not as well as you, but how hard could it be?” Kou sat up with a grin, before he suddenly snatched the dangling camera. “Now, which button turns this thing on?”

“A-Ah! Give that back!!” Sousuke screamed, grasping his camera by Kou’s hands and tugging it back. “They’ll kill me if you scratch up the lens!!”

Kou tugged again, successfully snatching the camera from his grasp. “Come on! Just one picture won’t hurt!”

The camera was still attached to Sousuke’s neck, so he was unwillingly dragged along as Kou waddled closer towards the tree. Against the pink-haired boy’s various protests, Kou managed to successfully snap his picture of the birds. He was giving him his goofiest grin as he proudly shoved the camera back into Sousuke’s hands.

It’s awful, Sousuke thought. Completely blurry, not in frame, and the lighting was shockingly bad. It was the kind of image that made you question if the artist behind it was drunk out their minds as they took it. Even Sousuke’s first picture wasn’t nearly as atrocious as this.

But something about the way Kou was so eager to show him this photo, or the way his eyes glimmered with joy, that caused a slight smile to form on Sousuke's face.

If only these days would last forever.

* * *

Kou Minamoto was a horrible person.

Of course. That Sousuke Mitsuba.

They weren’t exactly friends in their first term of their first year in junior high, but they definitely had more than their fair share of friendly interactions. Sousuke always seemed to be alone, so Kou would go out of his way to talk with him during classes.

But one day, for seemingly no reason, Sousuke had stopped coming to school. Kou tried to find out what had happened to him, but it was a fruitless search. Combined with the fact that they were in different classes for their second term, they had naturally drifted apart, but Sousuke must have eventually returned to school.

So why didn’t he try to reconnect with Kou earlier?

He groaned at himself as he rushed to his next class. The one class he shared with Sousuke.

He ripped open the classroom doors, peaking inside for the slightest hint of pink hair. No luck.

He had arrived ten minutes earlier in the hopes that he could reconcile with Sousuke but perhaps it was too early. Not even Spider-face was here. Kou marched towards his desk and began to take out his notebooks and pens.

Ten minutes turned into five, and five minutes quickly turned into three and then zero.

The quiet rustling of papers and pen scratching filled the classroom now. Mostly everybody was sitting in their seats, and Tsuchigomori was jotting something down on the chalkboard. The clock ticked away in the background.

A gentle knock on the door caught Kou’s attention.

A moment passed before Sousuke and the creepy kid from the cafeteria waddled in, the former’s hair lightly damp for some reason.

Tsuchigomori reprimanded the two of them before continuing on with the lesson. Sousuke frantically sat three seats in front of Kou, spilling the contents of his bag unceremoniously onto his desk and flipping to the correct page of his book.

Kou sighed in relief as he tuned back into Tsuchigomori’s ramblings.

* * *

The bell finally rang, signalling that the lesson was over. Kou eagerly packed his belongings before jogging towards Sousuke, who was still neatly folding his papers.

He slammed his hand on the boy’s desk. “Mitsuba. We need to talk.”

Sousuke jolted backwards, yelping in surprise as he looked up.

Pink eyes met blue.

Oh.

Oh.

He knew.

Sousuke knew he couldn’t hide from their past  forever, but why now?

“-Ah! Sorry Minamoto-kun, I’ve got places to be,” said Sousuke as he hesitantly sidestepped around Kou.

He isn’t ready.

He isn’t ready to face him.

He abruptly swiped his papers off of his desk, snatched his bag, and urgently bolted out of the classroom, causing the door to slam against the wall loudly.

“Wait!!” yelled Kou as he also ran out of the classroom.

Why is he running?

Kou sprinted behind the pink-haired guy, who was weaving through the crowds effortlessly. Meanwhile, Kou was bumping shoulders with everybody in his path, each shuffle and bump slowing him down considerably. As the crowd began to thin out, Sousuke swiftly turned around the corner and Kou followed after him. The sound of their shoes squeaking against the floorboard echoed loudly throughout the halls.

“MISTUBA! WAIT-!” Kou called out, hoping to catch his attention. He wasn’t far behind now, only being a couple of arm lengths away.

The pink-haired guy completely ignored him as he suddenly swerved and darted into the male toilets.

Kou couldn’t let him get away. Not again.

He rushed straight into the bathrooms too, successfully cornering Sousuke, who was facing the wall in defeat. Both of them were gasping for air as the silence hung heavily between them.

The room was eerily quiet as neither of them said a word.

A hundred questions ran through Kou’s mind. What happened to you? When did you come back? Why did you leave?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was you at first.” Kou managed to force out. “You’d changed so much since our first year.”

As Sousuke slowly turned his head, strands of his hair fell out of his usually pristine ponytail. He narrowed his pink eyes as he glared at Kou with an unreadable expression. Kou flinched as Sousuke took a deep breath.

“Pfft, you think I’d accept such a lame-ass apology from a lame-ass traffic-safety earring?!” Sousuke sneered, bringing his pink sleeve to his chin. “W-What kind of creep are you!? Chasing me down into the bathrooms like a rabid dog?! Has my cuteness driven you mad!?”

Kou stood there, speechless. He still hadn’t caught his breath.

“And that stupid earring! Traffic safety!? What for!? Your brain’s already been in an accident!!”

Was this seriously the same guy as before?

“You can forget about the stupid project!” Sousuke huffed as he dismissively waved at Kou like he were a fly on the wall. “I don’t need your help. I can do it by myself.”

Sousuke turned towards the side, ready to leave.

A jolt of panic struck through Kou.

“Wait--!” Kou grabbed Sousuke’s sleeved hand without thinking. “I’m not some jerk that will leave you to do all of the work yourself - we can work on this project together. I have some destinations that we could go to. Or if you have places in mind, we could go to those instead. I don’t mind. Either works.”

Sousuke stood silently, wide-eyed.

“Your photos are good. Really good. Honestly. I don’t have an artistic eye for photography like you, but I can pull my own weight in this project, so don’t worry about that. Let me handle everything else,” Kou desperately pleaded. “So just give me a chance, okay?”

The air was so thick with tension that it was almost hard to breathe.

Sousuke hummed before suddenly flicking Kou’s forehead. The sudden attack caused him to release his grip on Sousuke’s sleeve.

“Maybe I’ll consider it, if you’re that desperate,” said Sousuke as he leaned forward, his breath tickling Kou’s face. “Or are you a promise-breaking liar with a hella-lame traffic-safety earri-?!”

Kou slammed his hand beside Mitsuba’s head, causing the latter to yelp in surprise again.

“S-Shut up! Don’t be so full of yourself. And my earring isn’t lame! Do we have a deal or not, Mitsuba?” he huffed in frustration.

Kou usually had an endless amount of patience, but this guy was seriously getting on his last nerve.

“Okay, okay, okay! We have a deal!! Get away from me you violent prevent!” Sousuke dramatically screeched, as he unsuccessfully attempted to push Kou away. Kou exhaled in relief as he released Sousuke from his confines.

“Since I’m feeling extra generous today, I’ll accept your proposal and grant you the honour of working with someone as cute as me,” Sousuke grinned, gently cupping his cheek.

“Sounds more like a curse to me,” Kou scoffed, earning him a barrage of attacks from the pink-haired guy.

“Says the one practically begging me to help you out!”

“We’re stuck in this project together, whether we like it or not! It’s going to be easier if we got along. Or at least pretend to get along,” Kou groaned.

Sousuke frowned, “Well you certainly didn’t make a great ‘first impression’ for someone wanting to be on good terms.”

“I know, I messed up. Can we start again?” Kou stepped back and reached his hand out to Sousuke, while giving a reassuring smile, “I’m Kou. Kou Minamoto. I’ll be your partner for this project.”

Sousuke stared back at him blankly.

He contemplated whether or not he should be difficult. If he should start crying crocodile tears and make Kou beg for his forgiveness on his knees, since he really deserves it in Sousuke’s eyes.

Seriously, what kind of maniac would violently chase down a cute boy like him, unless they had other indecent intentions?

But Kou has this unwavering look in his eyes. The sort of stupid look heroes have before facing off the big bad guy. A particular glint of determination that makes his eyes seem to glow bright blue, like icebergs standing tall in the deep blue sea, threatening to sink any ship brave enough to approach.

It's stupid. It’s infuriating.

It’s the kind of look that makes Sousuke feel helpless in comparison.

He would usually retort with some snarky comment by now. Some insult to intentionally rile the other person up.

Something to push them away.

The prettiest flowers are always the first to be hurt. Cut. Torn apart. Displayed in pretty bouquets and admired, while they slowly rot from the inside. How ironic. How could you claim to love something, yet be the sole reason for it’s death?

He’d locked his heart away a long time ago; encased it in steel and plastered a giant ‘Do Not Enter’ sign outside. Nothing good ever came out from letting people close to him anyways.

“We’ll be sitting in alphabetical order for a while, so let’s be friends, okay?”

No, he thought. Nothing good ever came out from it.

...

But maybe he could let his guard down just this once.

Kou’s not the type of person to give up easily, or the type to take ‘no’ as an answer. That’s the annoying type of person he is. Always going out of his way to please others, even at the extent of himself.

Sousuke does really need this grade to pass this class. It would be pretty difficult to do the entire project by himself, he reasons.

(They say that people who experience loneliness crave social connection like a starving person craves food.

After all, people yearn for the things that they cannot have.)

Now, Sousuke can be a jerk at times, but he could be nice as well. Sometimes. And this is maybe one of those times.

So, he swallows his pride, summons his sickingly sweet smile and shakes Kou’s hand.

“Sousuke Mitsuba. Glad to be working with you.”

Kou’s eyes widened slightly, just enough to catch Mitsuba’s attention.

“What’s that dopey face for? Have you seen a ghost? Or are you just awestruck by my beauty?” he teased.

Kou merely sighed, mumbling something under his breath, as he turned around and started walking out of the door. Sousuke’s loud protests could be heard behind of him. They had barely started working together, and yet Kou was already exhausted.

This project was seriously going to be the death of him.

***

Chapter Text

* * *

Sousuke Mitsuba was a jerk.

Kou told him to meet him outside of his locker after school the next day. However, he didn’t expect the latter to jump scare him out of nowhere by hiding behind his locker door as he was out taking out his shoes. Kou nearly pummelled him on the spot.

“Soo~, where are we going to first, lame-ass traffic-safety earring?” Sousuke laughed, still on a high from his prank.

“You scared the living daylights out of me!!” Kou shrieked, pulling Sousuke’s ear in retaliation.

“Ow! Ow!! That hurts you asshole!!” cried Sousuke as he flailed his arms around. People were giving them the side eye, but they both too engrossed in their banter to care.

“Hmph! Serves you right!” Kou grinned before pulling out one of those travel brochures from his bag and waving it in front of the other’s face. “Our first destination is the Fushimi Inari Shrine at the top of this mountain.”

“Waa!? But the top is such a long walk from the bottom!” whined Sousuke. He took two steps forward. “I’m going home-”

Kou grabbed the nape of Sousuke’s shirt, pulling him back. “Come on, it’s not that bad. And I’m sure you could get plenty of good pictures – it’s super famous for its rows of torii gates after all.”

Sousuke had only agreed to let Kou take the lead as long as the places were up to his standards – cute, trendy and fun. He had no time for anywhere lame after all. The photography club started their annual photography competition last week and Sousuke, naturally, had to win. He figured that he could take pictures for both the project and his competition at the same time, effectively killing two birds with one stone.

“Ugh, you’re such a pain, Minamoto-kun.”

“I could say the same for you, Mistuba,” Kou retorted as they walked out of the school gates side by side.

* * *

“Do we seriously have to get all the way up there!?” Sousuke pointed, the weight of what they were about to do finally settling in. The shrine was enshrouded by trees and was barely visible from where they were standing. He couldn’t even spot the bright red torii gates that were supposedly up there too.

Kou swatted at a bug on his shirt. “Yep! We better get going if we want to get there and do everything before night falls!”

“I’m going to die.”

“Less talking, more walking!” Kou grinned as he jogged forward.

Sousuke groaned, slowly following him. He was seriously reconsidering letting Kou decide where they go. He was a photographer, not an athlete. Why couldn’t they go somewhere relaxing for their first location?

He tucked a loose lock of hair behind his ear and hoisted his bag higher onto his shoulder. The path was fairly worn down, with sections of stone steps where the terrain was steeper. The trees swayed violently in the wind, causing the leaves to rustle loudly. Sousuke chuckled lightly as he plucked a loose leaf out of his hair.

His eyes lit up as he spotted a small stone fox statue sitting in front of a sign up the path. He excitedly ran up towards it.

“Oo~ so cute!” he said, gently petting it’s head while squatting beside it.

“They say that these foxes are believed to be the divine messengers of the deity. There’ll be more as we walk further up.” Kou stopped by Sousuke, who was busy with snapping several photos of the fox statue.

Sousuke looked up at Kou, smirking. “But I’m cuter right?”

“...They sell kitsune udon at one of the stalls up there. Apparently, it’s really good,” said Kou, examining the sign in great detail.

Sousuke sighed as he picked himself off the ground. “Only if you’re paying, Minamoto-kun.”

“When did I agree to that?” scoffed Kou.

“Right now,” Sousuke stretched. “I deserve it right? You’re making someone as delicate as me climb up all of these steps. Or was that part of your plan, to get me alone so that you could get your way with me!?” He brought his hand up, covering his mouth mockingly.

Kou suddenly looked directly into Sousuke’s eyes. “I’m giving you a five second head start before I chuck you off this mountain.”

“Eh!?”

“Five-”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!!” Sousuke screamed, sprinting up the stairs two steps at a time to distance himself from this psychopath.

* * *

Both of them clambered to the entrance of the shrine after an excruciating hour; all of their limbs had turned into mush. They briefly had a water break before slowly making their way to the shrine. Kou scanned the area - it was surprisingly busy, given that it was a late afternoon on a weekday.

As the breeze swirled around them, they bowed and paid their respects before walking around and taking pictures of the main building. The ancient, complex wooden structures stood solemnly, seemingly trapped in the past. It was as if time had stopped here, while the rest of the world moved on. Rows of tied paper fortune slips waved with the wind above them as they wandered down the stony path.

They followed the dense rows of torii gates, with Sousuke excitedly running in front and Kou trailing not far behind. Their vibrant vermillion colour contrasted with the lush greenery of the surrounding forest, forming a breath-taking view. Even Kou could appreciate it’s beauty.

Before long, they found themselves at the kitsune udon stall. They had to wait for a couple of minutes before finding a seat since it was more popular than either of them had imagined.

“Mm, this is good! Maybe you are right sometimes, Minamoto-kun.”

Despite his previous complaints, Kou paid for both of their bowls. He did feel slightly bad for chasing Sousuke up for a decent chuck of their hike.

Kou glanced at the pink-haired boy beside him. “What’s your favourite food?”

“Why? Are you trying to win me over?” Sousuke turned his head to take a sip of water. “Sorry, but I’m not into guys with lame earrings.”

“What are you even going on about?” Kou sighed, swirling his spoon in the broth. “Rolled omelette is mine. It’s the first thing my mom taught me how to cook.”

Sousuke simply hummed as he took another bite of his noodles.

* * *

They eventually circled back around to the stalls; the crowds had died down considerably by now, and only a handful of them were open at this time. The smell of warm treats wafted through the air as they passed the various snack stalls lined up against each other. A bunch of kids were gathered around the toy stands too, cheering loudly with the music.

A sudden wisp of cool air tickled his nose and cheeks, forcing Sousuke to pull up his scarf.

“Look Minamoto-kun, they’re almost as lame as your earring!” he pointed at the omamori stand.

“Maybe I should stick one on you,” Kou mumbled as he walked towards it, glancing at the infinite colours and pattern combinations. They came in all shapes and sizes, and there was one for each occasion. There were a variety of different messages: family, prosperity, love…

Kou pulled one off mindlessly, closely examining it.

Maybe he should get one for Tiara too.

“Eh? You’re actually buying one?” Sousuke placed his hand on Kou’s shoulder and lightly attempted to pull him away. “I was kidding.”

Kou put the omamori back abruptly. “It’s not for you! They said that we could include souvenirs in our project, right? As evidence of the places we’ve visited.” He gently pulled another one off the display. Kou smiled at it for a moment before paying.

He held it up, absentmindedly rotating it in his palm. It was a simplistic design. Yellow with faint swirls and the word kaiun sewn in red, along with the name of the shrine on the back.

He would need more than good fortune to get through this project.

Sousuke stood silently as Kou was admiring the charm, gazing at a crowd of people who were gathered around something. That caught his attention.

“Look over there! That looks like fun, let’s check it out.” Sousuke skipped towards the crowd.

“Hey, wait up!” called out Kou as he shoved the omamori into his bag. He dashed after Sousuke, nearly knocking over a couple in his path.

Once he caught up to him, Sousuke had abruptly stopped, almost causing Kou to crash into him. He peered over his shoulder.

There was a board completely packed full of ema. Easily hundreds of the wooden plaques were stacked on top of each other, forming a thick wall. Each one had unique handwriting or drawings, clearly left behind by all of the people before them.

It’s said that if you wrote your wishes on one and tied it up, the gods would receive it and grant you your wish.

“Cool, I remember doing one of these with my sister.” Kou grabbed a plaque before turning his head towards Sousuke. “You should write on one too, Mitsuba.”

He was met with an uncharacteristic silence.

“Mistuba?”

Kou glanced at the boy next to him. Sousuke had that far-away look in his eyes, almost as if he was seeing something else in front of them.

“-I can’t.”

“Of course you can.” said Kou as he picked up another plaque, holding it towards Sousuke. When the latter hesitated, Kou grabbed his wrist and placed it in his palm.

Sousuke stared blankly at the ema in his hand. He looked at it as if he were carrying the weight of all of the universe’s problems in his palm.

“Why bother wishing for something that won’t come true?” he whispered, so quietly that Kou almost missed it.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“It’s childish. No matter how hard you wish, it won’t change reality. This isn’t some stupid fairytale,” laughed Sousuke.

Kou hummed, looking up at the stars above them. “My little sister always makes the biggest wishes. I want to be a princess. I want to be a unicorn. Not all of them can come true, but that doesn’t stop her from trying. Teru-nii and I spoil her rotten sometimes, but it’s always worth it to see her smile.”

“Even our wishes don’t come true at first, isn’t it more important that we make them in the first place? So come on, let’s make ours together,” grinned Kou, holding out a pen towards him.

A moment turned into two as Sousuke stared at him blankly. Kou’s arm stayed reached out.

A sigh escaped him as he took the pen, the sound of the nib scratching into the wood filled the silence between them. Once he was done, he held the finished plaque in his hands like an injured animal. A wish so fragile, it might get blown away by the slightest breeze.

“…Don’t look at it,” Sousuke mumbled, before putting it away in his pocket. A faint smile crossed his face and he hesitantly turned towards Kou. “What about you? What’s your wish Minamoto-kun?”

Kou grinned back at him. “I’m still thinking about it.”

Sousuke’s smile immediately dropped as he scoffed. “You talked so big about making a wish, but you’re clearly just as bad! I should’ve known you were just spouting nonsense.”

“I’m working on it,” Kou huffed, snatching the pen off Sousuke’s hands.

Sousuke chuckled as he turned his head away from Kou. The scenery was much more entertaining.

The hours had swept by in a blink of an eye. By now, the sun had completely disappeared; the moon now taking its place amongst the dark, starry skies. The distant chirping of crickets and murmurs of conversations made the shrine feel full of atmosphere.

Sousuke would never admit it out loud, but he had fun today. If the rest of the project went like this, maybe it would be okay.

His hands subconsciously traced back to his camera. He snapped a couple of pictures of the scenery around him, but they didn’t feel quite right. Before his brain could catch up with his hands, he snapped a photo of the ema display with Kou hunched in front of it. Sousuke flinched, realising what he had done, before swiftly deleting the photo.

The sound of pen scratching wood stopped, shifting Sousuke’s attention back at Kou. “You done?”

Kou simply hummed, seemingly too deep in his thoughts to give a meaningful response.

“C’mon then, Minamoto-kun!” said Sousuke, turning towards the exit. “The last train is soon and if we miss it, I’m making you carry me home. I’ve done too much walking for one day.”

Kou tied up his ema, pausing for a moment to look at it fondly, before running after Sousuke again.

[ I want to get to know him better. ]

* * *

Sousuke carried his clothes into his room while stifling a yawn, his hair still damp from the shower. His mom wouldn’t stop pestering him about the details of his day out. She wouldn’t let him leave without him showing her all of the photographs that he took and telling her everything in great detail. He didn’t dare mention who he was with all day.

He sighed as opened his door. He would probably be sore for the next couple of days: all of that walking really took everything out of him. Sousuke chucked his clothes into a basket before a sudden thud on the floor caught his attention.

The wooden plaque sprawled lifelessly across the floor. It’s presence almost seemed to be taunting him.

He picked it up, examining it in the moonlight.

Something ugly stirred deep within his stomach.

He threw it into his desk and snatched a pen, thoroughly crossing out the flowery nonsense on the ema. The ink pooled into the grooves as each stroke dug deeper and deeper into the wood, leaving horrible gashes behind. Each letter scratched away, until all that remained was a black void staring back up at him.

He was a fool for listening to Kou, for ever hoping it would come true.

A fool and a fraud.

He didn’t even notice that his knuckles were white from the way he held onto the ema. He sighed before finally chucking it away into a corner of his room.

It’s better this way, he reasons.

* * *

“So why exactly am I doing this again?”

“You think someone as dainty as me could carry all of this equipment?” Sousuke retorted.

A few days of silence had past since their last expedition, with both of them too busy with their own things.

That was until Sousuke texted Kou out of the blue, urgently telling him to meet him at the park just before school. It was written in such an ominous tone that Kou genuinely thought it was an emergency. He dropped everything that morning to meet Sousuke, only for it to end up being an innocent impromptu photoshoot session.

Kou raised an eyebrow. “You had no trouble with carrying it here on your own before forcing it all on me.”

“Excuses! Or is it that you’re not actually as heroic as you make yourself out to be? Lame traffic-safety earring? More like, lame and selfish traffic-safety earring!” mocked Sousuke as he snapped a picture of a trampled flower.

“Can it,” Kou retorted. Why was he wasting his weekend on helping him out?

They walked around for a bit before Sousuke wandered off into the thick undergrowth. Kou absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder as he waited on the path.

Why was he here? Because he owed it to Sousuke. He had to be the one to carry both of them to the end of this project. He had to be the one to shoulder the blame if they fell.

If not him, who else?

Kou tugged at his dangling earring. He really shouldn’t be standing here doing nothing; he was wasting precious time. He should be planning where they were heading next. Doing research for the project. Finding out what happened with Sousuke. Make amends with him. But which one should he focus on first?

“Minamoto-kun, Minamoto-kun! Is anyone in there?” giggled Sousuke as he waved his hand in Kou’s face.

Kou jumped back in surprise before relaxing once he realised that it was just Sousuke. “Ah, what’s up Mitsuba?”

“Follow me,” mumbled Sousuke, pulling Kou by the wrist.

They continued deeper into the shrubs that Sousuke had wandered into. Maybe it was Kou’s imagination, but the other seemed out of it today. Less annoying than usual.

After being hit in the face by a random branch for the third time, Kou finally felt the grip on his wrist loosen. He looked up, confused at why the other had stopped.

Lily pads bobbled calmly on the water’s surface as a school of minnows hid underneath, shielding themselves from the light. Waterlogged sticks lay at the pond’s edge as the two of them crept closer. It was so far away from the normal trail that not many people probably knew of it’s existence.

“Wow..” Kou looked around, mesmerised.

“Pretty cool right?”

“It’s awesome! How’d you find it?”

“Coincidence, I guess,” mused Sousuke.

They sat down by the water’s edge, silence hanging between them as they gazed out at the water. Upon closer inspection, the water almost seemed to glow a sea foam green underneath the dappled sunlight.

“Flan.”

Kou looked at Sousuke confused. The latter was still staring at the ripples on the water’s surface with his hands firmly gripping his camera, as if his life depended on it.

“You asked me what my favourite food was before,” Sousuke mumbled. “Homemade is better, but store-bought is fine too.”

A brief moment of silence.

“Monday,” sighed Kou.

It was enough to pull Sousuke out of his doom and gloom. “Huh?”

“Meet me outside the home ec room on Monday after class,” replied Kou, giving Sousuke his signature goofy smile.

* * *

Chapter Text

* * *

“-Eh, I have to make my own flan?”

Kou placed the bag of sugar onto the table while grinning at the boy standing in the doorway. “It’s an easy dessert to make.”

Sousuke gave an exaggerated sigh while grabbing an apron and unsuccessfully attempting to tie it around his waist. “Can’t I just sit back and watch you do all of the work?”

“Nope!”

“But I’m too cute to be doing dirty work like this,” whined Sousuke. These straps were refusing to work with him.

Kou walked up to Sousuke to help him with his apron. “Seriously, it won’t take long. And food tastes better when you make it with company.”

Sousuke hummed a wordless thanks as they both walked to the countertop. If he gets to eat a bunch of flan at the end of this, then maybe putting in a bit of effort will be worth it.

The first component to any flan was the caramel sauce. Sousuke clumsily transferred some sugar into the pan, causing some to spill onto the countertop, which in turn caused Kou to scold him. He added some water and heated it until it turned amber, as per Kou’s instructions.

“I didn’t know that you knew how to make flan,” said Sousuke as he carefully poured the hot caramel sauce into the ramekins. “No offence, but you seem like the type to be hopeless in the kitchen.”

“I looked up a bunch of recipes last night,” replied Kou. He got out some milk, condensed milk and vanilla while Sousuke attempted to crack an egg open on the counter. He ended up hitting it with too much power however, pulverising the poor egg.

“Hopeless in the kitchen, huh?” chuckled Kou.

“S-Shut up! I’ll chuck this egg at you, Minamoto-kun,” Sousuke retorted, pointing the jagged edge of the shell at him.

“I was kidding,” said Kou as he took the eggshell remains from Sousuke, before the latter could possibly use it as a weapon against him. “Don’t hit the eggs so hard against the counter.”

“Baking isn’t my strong suit,” shrugged Sousuke as he grabbed another egg. “It’s no fun following instructions.”

He tapped the egg gently this time, causing the perfect crack to form along the equator of the shell. Kou quietly cheered him for him in the background as the egg plopped into the bowl. Kou helped him out with the rest of the eggs, along with adding milk and condensed milk into the bowl. His experienced hands moved around effortlessly, as Sousuke watched him. Kou had a relaxed expression on his face – one that Sousuke hadn’t seen before. It was oddly endearing.

Sousuke leaned forward onto the counter, resting his head on his hands. “You’re awfully good at this.” He pointedly avoided eye-contact with the blond.

Kou hummed, not noticing the extra pair of eyes on him as he poured in a glug of vanilla. “My mom taught me. It’s always been us two who do all of the cooking. Teru-nii’s the one who can’t be trusted in the kitchen; he burnt down a wall last week.”

“I would’ve never guessed that of Minamoto-senpai.”

“You’d never expect it, since he’s so good at everything else. But it kind of makes me happy, you know?” smiled Kou, looking into the bowl.

The next step was to whisk the mixture together gently so that no large air bubbles form. Sousuke clearly ignored the gently part, since some of the mixture sloshed out of the bowl as he mixed carelessly.

“Don’t mix it so violently,” murmured Kou as he moved behind him, delicately guiding Sousuke’s hand. “Mix it like this.”

Sousuke yelped, “W-What are you doing!?”

Kou paused before suddenly realising their positions. He jumped back a couple of arm lengths away from Sousuke. “Sorry!! It’s just a habit I have when baking with my sister-”

“You pervert!!” shrieked Sousuke.

“It’s not like that!!”

Sousuke pointed at Kou with his free hand. “I should’ve known you had ulterior motives! What!? Can’t get your dirty hands off of my delicate figure!? You-”

Kou tugged on Sousuke’s ponytail, pulling him out of his rampage.

“Ow!” he cried.

“You know it’s not like that,” huffed Kou.

“Add violent to the list! Lame, selfish, violent traffic-safety ea-”

Another tug.

Kou raised his eyebrow. “You have such a dirty mouth for someone so cute.”

That last part was supposed to be sarcastic. But, judging by how the tips of Sousuke’s ears began to turn pink, clearly Kou needed to work on his sarcastic tone. The magnitude of what he implied caused Kou’s face to flush too.

“That wasn’t-”

Sousuke suddenly burst out laughing.

Great. This whole baking thing was supposed to cheer Sousuke up, and while it definitely did, Kou didn’t expect it to be at his expense. He could feel his cheeks burning as he awkwardly cleared his throat before looking at the abandoned bowl. “Let’s carry on with the flan.”

Sousuke wiped a tear from his eye for a moment before pouring the custard into each ramekin dish, being careful to not overfill them. They placed the desserts into a water bath and baked them in the oven. Finally done. They decided to clean up while they waited for the desserts to cook.

Sousuke hummed as he sloshed the bowls together in the sink, causing some of the soapy water to splash onto both of their shirts.

“Soo.. you think I’m cute?” he smirked.

“Don’t start,” said Kou sternly, wiping down a bowl before placing it in the drying rack.

Sousuke giggled. “Am I your type? I guess it fits in with your tough guy image, but you do realise that I’m a boy, right?”

“Can it, bird-brain,” Kou retorted.

Sousuke dramatically gasped. “Eh!? Who are you calling bird-brain? Where did you get that from!?”

“You’re always taking pictures of birds! What’s up with that by the way?” asked Kou. The timer went off, signalling that the flans were ready. He carefully pulled them out onto the countertop to cool.

Sousuke scoffed, waving around a soapy whisk. “You can’t question an artist’s vision.” A thud. He bent down to retrieve the fallen whisk. “I, uh, just like them. The pretty shapes of their wings. Their colours. The way they can fly anywhere they want without a care in the world. I guess I kind of envy them for that.”

Kou didn’t know how to respond, so they continued to clean in silence. They finally finished wiping down the counter as the door slid open - they looked up at the approaching figures.

Yokoo waved excitedly. “Hey Kou! What are you up to?”

“Yokoo! Satou!” he grinned.

Satou stood beside Yokoo, lollipop in hand. “Are you making something? It’s not like you to stay behind on a school day.”

“We’re making flan! They should almost be done now. Do you want to try some?”

Yokoo laughed as Satou’s mouth watered. “They look good! But we wouldn’t want to disturb you two~” Yokoo’s eyes flickered between them.

Ah, right. Kou should probably introduce them. Or reintroduce to be more accurate.

Sousuke had a, crude personality, to say the least. He was hoping that the boy would hold his tongue for once. He really didn’t need his friends to think that he was hanging out with a weirdo. He braced himself internally.

“Mitsuba, these two are my friends Yokoo and Satou.”

Sousuke looked up at the two innocently, reaching out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you two.”

The three of them shook hands and exchanged pleasantries as Kou’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him. It was like seeing a teacher outside of school - he knew it was theoretically possible, but it felt uncanny.

Kou internally sighed as he glanced at the clock.

* * *

“Thanks for the help Kou-kun! The weeds always get so out of control during the growing season.”

Kou tugged at the clump of weeds. “No worries Yashiro-senpai! It’s the least I could do.”

Nene hummed as she walked around the gardening club, occasionally pausing to help one of the newer members. She stopped beside a bush, watering it thoroughly.

“We planted these a while ago, but they still haven’t bloomed yet. Are we missing something?” Nene mumbled to herself.

He looked over at her. “What kind of plant is that?” asked Kou.

Nene smiled, gently stroking one of the heart-shaped leaves. “Morning glories. They get their name from the fact that they only bloom early in the morning and just for a single day, but they’re one of my favourites. Their symbolism changes depending on the specific colour though. For example, blue morning glories represent mutual trust and deep, heartfelt emotions.”

Kou nodded along. He didn’t really care much for flowers, or their symbolism, but he was happy to see Nene lost in something she was passionate about.

“-But enough about flowers, what did you need all of those ingredients for yesterday, Kou-kun? Is there an important event happening?” asked Nene excitedly.

Kou chucked another clump of weeds onto the floor beside him. “Ah, nothing like that. I was just making flan with Mitsuba. He’s a classmate of mine.”

“Oh? Sousuke-kun?” Nene turned her head.

Kou raised his eyebrow slightly. “I didn’t know that you two were close.”

She was watering some of the other plants in the background. “Of course! He’s like, my cute underclassman. He helps me out sometimes with advertising the gardening club. He can be a bit rude at times but he has good intentions,” smiled Nene.

‘You definitely got the rude part right. I’ve never met someone as annoying as him,” he huffed.

Nene chucked melodiously. “You two are working together on a school project, right? How’s that been going?”

“It’s going alright. We’ve only just started though.” Kou began to recall the events of their trip to the shrine to Nene while they continued working.

“I’m happy that you two are getting along,” said Nene as she inspected the tomato plants. “He was really excited about working with you. Excited and nervous. He wouldn’t stop talking about it to me. He really-”

Nene clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide open in horror, as if she’d said something that she shouldn’t have.

Kou looked at her confused. “Is something wrong?”

“N-Nothing!! C-Could you pass me the fertiliser bag? Nene frantically motioned her hands behind Kou.

He reached over and passed it to Nene, who was seemingly avoiding eye-contact with him for some reason. He couldn’t put his finger on it. He was happy to know that Sousuke didn’t hate him at least.

“How’s Amane? I haven’t seen him in ages. That guy is usually stuck to your side like glue.” Kou absentmindedly glanced around.

Nene’s focused expression instantly soured. “He’s the same as ever. Always doing things without telling me and being such a lone wolf.”

“..Did you two get into an argument?” he asked hesitantly.

She sat beside him, hugging her legs. “N-No! I mean-.. maybe. You know how he is. Always keeping everything to himself, and thinking that he can fix everything,” Nene huffed before her expression softened into something more sombre. “I just wished that he would open up to me sometimes.”

He wasn’t really good at comforting people, so Kou gently nudged her shoulder instead. “I’m sure he wants to open up to you. Just give him some time. He trusts you the most out of the two of us anyway.”

A small smile appeared on Nene’s face. “Thanks Kou-kun.”

* * *

The empty ramekins sat on his desk as Sousuke stretched on the floor. The flans were good. Really good. Probably some of the best that he’s ever eaten. Soft, silky and not overly sweet. He’d have to beg Kou to make more for him next time. Sousuke almost couldn’t bring himself to share with his mom, but he had to brag to her about it.

He hummed as he got out the freshly developed films from his bag, forming four giant stacks around him. This batch was going to take him ages to sort out.

Better get started then.

The only source of light in his room was his floor lamp, but it was just enough bright for him to see without needing to squint. Sousuke flipped through the photographs, examining their colours and scrutinising every last detail, before sorting them out neatly. Each one either went to the ‘yes’, ‘maybe’ or ‘no’ pile behind him. The best ones would be displayed on his walls.

A bunch of bird photos slipped into the ‘yes’ pile, along with the stone fox statues from the week before. Some blurry photos of crowds, streetlights and a trampled flower went into the ‘maybe’ pile, while a weird shot of dead, stringy yellow grass went straight into the ‘no’ pile.

He still hadn’t found the one photo that would win his competition. They were all decent photographs, sure, but none of them spoke to him. He was seriously beginning to doubt himself.

A gust of wind from his open window caused two of the remaining three piles to topple over, creating a huge puddle of photographs over his floor.

Sousuke huffed in annoyance as he tried to separate the photos, before abruptly stopping. He should probably close his window in case another breeze comes through.

He huddled over to his window, briefly looking up at the sky. The stars were really pretty tonight; it’s shame that they’ll be gone in a couple of hours.

Sousuke closed the window and turned around, before suddenly stopping as he noticed the familiar pieces of paper on the floor. He picked them up.

He should really throw these away.

He’d tell himself that, but every time he tried to throw them away, his hands froze up and there’d be this lingering ache in his heart. Like a pair of claws ripping through his chest.

Sousuke sighed as his thumb traced over the jagged edges of the two tickets.

* * *

“Ow!”

“Teru-nii, stay still. I’m almost done.”

Kou had been peacefully making some fried chicken, which Tiara had been begging him to make for the past few days, in the kitchen. He’d just managed to place the last piece onto the cooling rack when Teru suddenly burst through the door, looking as if he’d just gotten out of a fight.

His hair was unusually dishevelled, his clothes had faint dirt marks on them, and a big, ugly purple bruise was visible just above his left eyebrow. Kou did his best to wipe away the dried blood that dripped into his hair and down his face with a soaked cotton pad.

“.. I’m guessing the negotiations with him didn’t go as planned.” Kou whispered.

“On the contrary, they went just as I suspected.”

Teru had that unsettlingly calm smile on his face. Over the years, Kou could tell that it was just a front for the other, unsavoury, thoughts, running through his head. A few days ago, Teru had told him about this new client. It was an old man who said he had unfinished business with the Minamoto family. Or something along those lines. Kou didn’t really get it.

“Did you have to resort to violence..?” Kou felt like a mom scolding her kid.

Teru smiled, “I had no choice. I tried to reason peacefully with him through the normal methods, but then he refused! Besides, he technically started it, so it’s fair game.”

“That’s not a good enough reason, nii-chan!! You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, or seriously in trouble!”

Teru sighed as he tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “Not everything can work out exactly how you want it, Kou. People are more likely to listen to you through fearful authority, rather than peaceful negotiations.” He rubbed an old scar on his hand. “It’s cute though. I almost admire that kind of naïve nature of yours.”

Kou’s hands paused briefly. Was that what Teru thought of him? Something that needed to be protected?

He grabbed a large bandage from the med kit and peeled off the backing. Maybe that’s why Teru didn’t seem to trust Kou with the family business – why he always seemed to keep Kou away at home, instead of with him. Not that Kou could really blame him - no matter how much he tried, he could never catch up to his older brother. Not now. And not even in another timeline.

He carefully pressed down the edges of the bandage onto Teru’s forehead. “...All done. Just try not to get it wet.”

“Thanks Kou,” said Teru, as he ruffled the younger one’s hair. His eyes perked up as he peered over Kou’s shoulder at the full cooling rack. “Are you making fried chicken? I’m sure the princess will be happy about that. I’ll go and get her.”

He swiftly turned around and jogged out of the room. Kou blankly stared at the empty doorframe, clutching the bloodstained cotton pads.

The switch from the ruthless businessman to the doting older brother was something that he couldn’t put his finger on some days.

* * *

Sousuke had been feeling antsy all day.

He was hoping to find the perfect opportunity to jump the blond before class, but the latter appeared to be in a gloomy mood all day.

Bumping into doors and people, dropping things, staring off into space while eating... Even now, Kou seemed to be paying closer attention to the floor than the actual lesson.

It was unlike him. Kou always seemed to be glistening with energy and optimism. It was like a rain cloud had covered the sun’s beams, causing a large shadow to form on the world underneath. Sousuke glanced behind him. Even his hair seemed duller than usual.

Sousuke groaned as he doodled another bunny onto the page. Ten more minutes until the end of class.

* * *

“Minamoto-kun!”

Kou stopped and turned around as Sousuke dashed down the hallway. He seriously forgot how quickly the former could disappear when he wanted to.

Sousuke stood in front, his owlish eyes looked nervously at Kou. “Is there something bothering you? You’ve been moping all day.”

Kou looked up at him with his foggy blue eyes. “Hm? Is this about the project? Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. Just sit tight and let me handle everything.”

“It’s not about the stupid project! It’s about you!! Seriously, what’s up with you!?” Sousuke fought back the urge to slap some sense into the blond. He usually would, but the other looked like he was one mishap away from completely losing it all.

Kou’s eyes widened as he rested a hand on the back on his neck. “I, uh, can’t tell you, sorry. It’s something personal.”

Sousuke sighed. “I won’t force it out of you, but talking about it might help. You always listen to my complaints, so let me lend you an ear for once.”

“Oh, so you do have some self-awareness after all,” said Kou as he narrowed his eyes.

“Yep, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so don’t push my patience Minamoto-kun,” huffed Sousuke.

Kou chuckled half-heartedly while he stared out of the window, lost in his thoughts.

“It’s silly, really. It’s just.. There’s all of these expectations, but no matter how much I try, I’ll never meet them. But everyone’s counting on me, and it just feels like I’m letting them and myself down,” he mumbled, while tugging at his earring.

The blond didn’t elaborate further. Sousuke he looked out of the window as well - the faint pinks merged with the oranges in the sky, forming beautiful tapestries with the wispy clouds. He instinctively grabbed his camera; the sound of the shutter going off filled the lack of words between them.

“I get that too sometimes,” Sousuke murmured, clutching his camera. “Like, sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and see somebody else staring back at me. Or when I look back at one of my pictures and question if it was actually me who took it. There’s this nagging voice in my head that won’t go away, and it follows me everywhere.”

Sousuke let the camera dangle from his neck. “But, I just tell myself that it isn’t real. That this is the real me. No one else. And no one else can change that.”

Sousuke peeked over to the boy standing next to him. An unreadable expression crossed Kou’s face, but Sousuke could see that a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

“Jeez, you’re such a worrywart, Minamoto-kun~” he joked.

“Kou, if you’d like,” the blond hesitantly mumbled.

A gust of wind fluttered between them.

Sousuke looked at him surprised, before his mouth fell into a wide grin. “Fine, but only if you call me by my first name too. I’m sick of all of these formalities.”

“Alright.” Kou smiled as he looked back at him. “Anyways, you wanted to talk to me about something else, right Sousuke?”

Sousuke averted his gaze to his feet. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly something. Come on - you heard me out, so let me do the same for you.” Kou placed both of his hands on the other’s shoulders as an attempt to comfort him, while also preventing him from trying to make a run for it.

“It’s bad timing anyways,” said Sousuke, still avoiding eye-contact by looking at the floor – oh look, a bug. How exciting.

“Who cares?”

That was enough for Sousuke to break his staring contest with the ground. His pink eyes met Kou’s eyes, and he could feel himself getting lost in their deep blue depths.

Sousuke felt like he was drowning. He felt the pressure of water pushing down on his chest, squeezing out all of the oxygen in his lungs. And he heard the sound of water that rushed through his ears as his fingers went numb.

He forced a deep breath in as his hand searched through his pockets. It was clear that the blond wouldn’t let him go until he told him.

It’s now or never.

The movement caused Kou’s confused eyes to wander down to the boy’s faintly shaking hands.

Two tickets to the aquarium.

* * *

Chapter Text

* * *

Two tickets to the aquarium.

Kou looked up at Sousuke, his eyes wide open. “What are you saying..?”

Sousuke remained completely motionless, as he glared back firmly. “Let’s go there for our next destination. This Sunday.”

“I thought that it was my job to plan out where we’d be going to.”

Sousuke sighed deeply as he broke free out of Kou’s grasp. “Yeah well, you sucked at it. You made us climb up a whole freaking mountain last time! I’m not taking any chances that you won’t do something crazy like that again - I’m too delicate to survive another hike.”

“But... you enjoyed it.”

“I thought I was going to collapse halfway.”

Kou rolled his eyes. “You’re being melodramatic.”

“I’m being realistic.” Sousuke rolled his eyes back at him, while he waved the tickets in the air. “I’ll chuck your stupid ticket away if you don’t want it.”

“You wouldn’t. I know that you’re bluffing,” chuckled Kou, as he reached out for the ticket.

Sousuke, like the predictable jerk he was, pulled the papers away at the last moment, so that only the tips of Kou’s fingers grazed their surface.

“Hey!”

“Too slow! Better luck next time, lame traffic-safety earring~!” Sousuke stuck his tongue out before he began to run down the corridor.

“Get back here!”

* * *

Yokoo skipped beside Satou as they both wandered out of the cafeteria. “-And it’s not like our Kou to disappear and not give us a straight answer!”

Satou simply hummed in acknowledgement, while sticking another pocky stick into his mouth.

“Hey!” Yokoo snatched the box from Satou’s hands. “Did you even hear what I was saying?”

Satou sighed as he tried to take back the box unsuccessfully. “Maybe he’s making more flan today. He’s been staying behind after school recently too.”

“Great idea!”

Kou had been suspiciously absent from their usual hangouts this week. The two of them usually wouldn’t bat an eye at this, but Kou gave them weirder and weirder excuses each time they asked him why. ‘I have to go bug collecting today, the toilets aren’t going to clean themselves, there’s been a catastrophic accident in the home ec rooms!’

So, the two of them were on a mission to find out what Kou was hiding. After all, they were his closest friends; if his excuses were a strange signal for help, they had an obligation to save him!

They made their way towards the home ec rooms, while they thoroughly inspected every blond person that they passed. Occasionally, Satou made attempts to grab his pocky back from Yokoo, so the latter had to constantly keep it out of the other’s reach.

Yokoo swung the door open. “Kou~!”

They scanned the entire room, but it was completely empty, minus some pastries that had been set aside to proof, and the faint smell of flour that lingered in the air.

“Macarons, croissants and doughnuts but no sign of Kou,” said Satou plainly while he peered over at the counter.

Yokoo groaned as he plucked the other away from the sweet pastries. “We’ve checked everywhere though!”

The two of them left and decided to walk around the corridors, continuing their search.

“He wasn’t in the teacher’s lounge, the classrooms, cafeteria or the home ec rooms,” said Satou as he swerved around a couple.

Yokoo thought for a moment, before he audibly gasped. “What if he’s hanging with a crush? Y’know, he’s been pretty distracted recently!” He was giddy with excitement as they passed through another set of doors.

“But who could it be?” Satou managed to take back his box of pocky.

“Maybe Nene-senpai! Y’know, I saw them hanging around in the garden this week, and they’ve been close for a while~”

“Hmm.. she seems like the type to focus more on appearances, than tastes.” He took another bite out of his pocky. “She’d probably like the cute and sparkly looking desserts..”

Yokoo giggled before a glimpse of pink behind a bush caught his attention. He pulled the back of the other’s shirt while he quietly pointed outside of the window.

They were crouched on the steps leading to the gardening club. Kou was leaning over Sousuke’s shoulder, as he eagerly looked at the camera that the latter held. A muffled comment caused the other to suddenly push the blond over. Kou grabbed the front of Sousuke’s shirt and pulled him down with him, which caused both of them to fall onto their backs.

While all of this was happening, Kou had an unfaltering grin on his face, and a love-stuck look in his eyes.

Satou and Yokoo looked at each other with smirks on their faces.

* * *

“Don’t even think about making dirty jokes in front of my siblings.”

 Sousuke rolled his eyes behind Kou’s back. “Who do you think I am? Unlike some people, I can control myself.”

Kou murmured a sarcastic response as he opened the door, revealing a little Tiara who was sitting on the steps.

“Kou-oniichan!” she cheered and charged into Kou, almost causing him to fall over.

He chuckled as he rubbed her hair. “Hey, princess! I’ve brought a friend over today, so come and say hi.”

Tiara’s eyes sparkled as she locked eyes with Sousuke. “He’s pink! Just like my pens!” She pointed at him.

Kou held his breath as Sousuke crouched in front of his sister so that they were eye level with each other.

“Hi, I’m Mistuba. And who must you be?” Sousuke grinned.

“Tiara! Eldest daughter of the Minamoto clan. Age five!”

“-That reminds me, when are you going to give me back my pen?” commented Kou as the two of them shook hands.

Sousuke glanced up cheekily. “Hmm, I think I’m going to keep it~”

Kou scoffed. “It’s not even mine.”

“I’m sure she won’t mind,” said Sousuke as he turned his head back to her. He grinned at her innocently. “Do you, Tiara-chan?”

Tiara was looking up at them confused, before she pointed at Sousuke. “Is he staying here?”

Both of them flinched as Tiara watched their reactions. Sousuke had seemingly turned into a statue while Kou’s cheeks began to flush at the implications.

“N-No! Sousuke’s just visiting!” Kou stuttered.

Tiara instantly drooped, like a puppet without it’s strings.

Sousuke frantically waved his hands at her. “Hey, don’t be sad! I can come over play with you next time.”

“Really?!” Tiara gasped, while she was looking up excitedly at Kou.

Sousuke was staring at him too, his eyes conveying the fact that he was completely out of his element here. Well, it’s not like Kou could ever say no to her.

“O-Of course! We need to do something important now though! But nii-chan should be home soon, so why don’t you get your toys out for him?”

She hummed as she walked off excitedly, presumably to her room.

Both of them sighed in relief. They slowly made their way up to Kou’s room, with the blond giving Sousuke a brief house tour on their way. Sousuke couldn’t help but examine all of the big funky ornaments that they had on display.

Kou opened his bedroom door and signalled for the other to go in. Sousuke silently scanned the room, while Kou closed the door behind them.

There wasn’t much in here, apart from the bare necessities, some school work, a laptop and a half empty bookshelf of manga.

Sousuke looked back wordlessly at Kou.

“What? Not going to insult my room?”

He looked around again before shrugging. “Not like there’s much here to comment on anyways. It’s pretty empty, like your head.”

Kou rolled his eyes. “Hurry up and get your photos out before I chuck you out of my window.”

“Keep your hands to yourself, pervert,” Sousuke smirked.

Just like Kou instructed, he spread out the photographs from their shrine visit onto the floor and selected the best ones meticulously. While he stuck them down onto the giant sheet of poster paper, Kou researched on his laptop and jotted some key points beside the photos. Apart from the occasional question and comment, they worked in a comfortable silence.

* * *

Sunday rolled around quicker than Kou had expected. Before he knew it, he was standing outside of the aquarium, while Sousuke was busy talking with his mom in the car. Kou couldn’t help but stare.

His hair was tied up in his usual ponytail, accompanied with a pair of hot pink sunglasses. Kou wasn’t sure why he bought them – it was barely sunny, and they’d be inside for most of it anyways. He wore his usual oversized pink sweater underneath a sleek, light blue jacket that complimented his pink eyes.

Kou must had been staring for too long, since Sousuke immediately stuck his tongue out at him once he reached talking distance.

“Cat got your tongue? Or are you just awestruck by my beauty?” He paused for a moment while he took in Kou’s outfit. “What the hell are you wearing?”

Kou looked down at his clothes, confused. He really tried with his outfit today. It was a bright yellow graphic shirt, layered beneath a similarly coloured blue jacket to Sousuke.

“What’s wrong with it? We have matching jackets!”

“I wouldn’t want to be caught dead matching with you and your awful fashion sense.”

“Rude.”

Sousuke stuck his tongue out again before a giggle escaped his mouth.

“Let’s get going!” He skipped towards the entrance, with Kou following him not far behind.

* * *

.

“Wanna have a contest? Whoever finds the biggest fish wins.”

“You’re so on! Loser gets punished!”

.

.

.

“Behold, the mighty sea lion!”

“Hey! That’s not a fish! It’s against the rules!”

“They live in the water. It’s totally the same!”

“They’re totally different!!”

* * *

Their unsuccessful contest lead them to the penguin exhibit. Kou chuckled as Sousuke tried to push himself up against the glass to be as close as possible to the creatures. Sousuke watched, completely entranced like a little kid in a toy factory, as a pair of them swam delicately through the water. Their trails bubbled towards the surface where the other penguins were slumped lazily on the exposed rocks, completely unbothered by their presence.

“Wow! Penguins are so cute!” Not missing a single beat, Sousuke turned around and pointed at his wide grin. “But not as cute as me, right?”

Kou sighed. This again. This guy seriously had one of the biggest egos Kou had ever witnessed - it was a miracle that he could fit his big head through the front entrance.

Kou stared back, and replied in the most monotone voice he could muster up. “Sure.”

Sousuke blinked owlishly, clearly expecting the other to put up more of a fight. He tried to hide his grin as he dragged Kou towards the oncoming sea lion show.

They watched as the creatures emerged from the waters gracefully. One by one, the sea lions performed impressive tricks – they leaped through hoops and balanced beach balls on the tips of their noses, while the audience watched in amazement. Sousuke’s eyes widened, completely enthralled, as he snapped picture after picture. Kou hovered his head over his shoulder as he took another photograph.

Sousuke felt the blond’s eyes on him. “..What?”

Kou backed off. “You’re always looking at the world through your camera. Why don’t you be present in the moment for once?” he said, tilting his head.

“Eh? Are you my mom?” Sousuke scoffed. “But sure, I’ll listen to your advice, if you want us to get a big, fat fail.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Sousuke hummed. “Yeah, but it’s funnier to watch your reaction.”

“Oh, so you’re being difficult on purpose,” Kou glared back.

“It’s part of my charm.”

Before Kou could open his mouth, the sea lions dove back into the water, causing him to be drenched head to toe in freezing cold, fishy water.

Sousuke nearly fell into the tank with how hard he was laughing.

* * *

“Kou-kun~, give me money~” sung Sousuke, as he crouched beside the gachapon machine.

“You parasite,” retorted Kou, as he proceeded to hand him some change anyways.

“Hey, who are you calling a parasite?! I paid for both of our tickets!”

Sousuke excitedly twisted the machine, bubbling with excitement. Which one would he get? They were all so cute! He was hoping for the penguins! The capsule dropped down and he tore it open, with Kou hovering behind him.

It’s a bug!

“Ew! What are you supposed to be? Some sort of shrimp?” Sousuke looked in disgust. Surely this was some sort of mistake. Where was his cute penguin?

“But bugs are awesome!” Kou smiled as he placed his money into the machine and retrieved one. It seemed heavy as he opened up his capsule carefully.

It’s a penguin!

Sousuke pouted beside him. “Lucky, you got the best one.”

“You really liked the penguins, didn’t you?”

Sousuke sighed. “Yeah, well-”

“-Then you can have it. This one’s better, right?”

Sousuke looked into Kou’s eyes, expecting a glimpse of sarcasm, as the blond reached into his hands and switched their keychains. Sousuke cradled the penguin charm as he looked at it longingly.

“..You’re kinda creepy when you’re nice, Kou-kun.”

Kou’s eyebrow twitched. “Give it back then!”

Sousuke simply laughed melodiously, and Kou wished that he could listen to that sound on repeat until his ears rang.

* * *

They walked into another room filled with a bunch of fossils; it was fairly empty, as only a handful of other people were checking the displays by now. A bunch of them were sprawled artistically on the walls, while the larger ones were displayed in the centre of the room. Bright spotlights casted pink and purple lights on to the floor, making the space feel soft and intimate.

“Kou-kun, hold this.” He shoved the camera into Kou’s hands. When the blond simply stared blankly at him in response, Sousuke huffed before elaborating. “Take my picture.”

Kou raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were supposed to be the photographer?”

“You’re the one who told me to put the camera down!”

Kou looked down at the camera and ran his thumb across the sides, feeling each scratch and dent embedded into it. He adjusted the position of his hands so that it was snuggly nestled in his palms: it was Sousuke’s most prized possession after all. Unlike some people, Kou knew how to treat others’ things.

“I’m not as talented at photography as you. It’s not going to turn out great.” Kou attempted to hand the camera back to Sousuke, who in turn, firmly pushed him back as if he were starting a fight.

Sousuke glared at him as if Kou had just insulted him. “Well, duh! I obviously knew that. I don’t care. Just take it.”

“But I don’t know how-”

“Of course you do. You remember when you took my camera in first year?” Sousuke pointed his finger at a button. “Just press that to take it.”

“Why are you suddenly so insistent?” Kou asked hesitantly.

“I just figured that it’d be a shame to not have a picture of my cute self here. I mean, I’m always taking pictures of other people and things, so maybe I’ll try being the subject for once.”

Sousuke took a few steps back and posed beside a fish fossil. “If the photo is of me, there’s no way that even a total amateur like you, could make it look bad!”

“Isn’t that point of photography though? The pretty pictures?” Kou fumbled with the camera, clumsily pointing it at Sousuke. “I mean, no one wants to look at the ugly ones.”

He dramatically gasped. “Are looks all that matter to you? How shallow of you, lame-ass traffic-safety earring!”

“Shut up. I’m being serious. I don’t want to people to look down on your pictures, or whatever.” Kou looked at the camera with a soured expression.

Sousuke rolled his eyes and walked back towards Kou, dropping the theatrics.

“Sure, a part of photography are the pretty pictures you get to gawk at in the end. That’s what most people only care about. After all, results are the only thing that matters in competitions.”

Sousuke gently took the camera from Kou’s hands and pointed it straight at the blond. Before he could react, the faint sound of the shutter went off. Kou’s eyes widened in shock.

“Wha-”

“-But it’s also the snapshots of time that you capture, the glimpses into people’s lives, the emotions that you convey. That’s what makes photography special to me.” Sousuke giggled as he looked at the photograph. “You make for a terrible subject, no offence, Kou.”

Kou’s face went beet red. He was never good at getting his picture taken. Especially not out of the blue like that.

Sousuke seemed oblivious as he placed the camera back into Kou’s hands. His mouth was moving, but Kou couldn’t hear what he was saying over the sound of his heartbeat thumping in his ears.

Emotions, huh? Kou wasn’t one to be vulnerable. Not in front of his family, Nene, or even his closest friends. Not that he never wanted to be vulnerable, but that he never really got the chance to. He always felt like he needed to be the strong shoulder for people to lean on. The support that people relied on. A house with weak foundations was always the first to fall.

He had accepted it, really. Until he met Sousuke. Maybe it was his crude personality, or the way he spouted nonsense half of the time, but Kou found it easy to let go of those reservations and joke around with him.

He’d never admit out loud, but it was something that Kou really admired about him. Despite all of his insults and childishness, Sousuke really was genuine with his feelings and emotions, even if it caused headaches for the people around him.

Kou could learn from that.

“How about this then?”

Sousuke spun around confused, before his breath hitched at the blond’s sudden proximity. Kou slipped his arm around Sousuke’s neck and pulled him into a close side hug, catching the latter off guard. A gentle tug. Their heads gently bumped together, merging pink and yellow strands of hair.

The world around them faded momentarily as a beam of light shone over them, as if they were actors performing on a stage - so engrossed in their own little world, to care about the people around them. It was a picture perfect moment.

A big, toothy smile was plastered on Kou’s face as he turned the camera around so that it pointed straight at the two of them.

Snap!

* * *

The chilly wind swirled around his room, causing a roll of film to drop onto the floor. Sousuke didn’t rush to pick it up though. Instead, he laid motionless in his bed with his camera on a particular photo.

He couldn’t take his stupid eyes off it. But, the more he looked at it, the more he wanted to sink deeper into his pillows, never to be seen again.

It almost hurt how softly he looked at Kou in that brief moment of vulnerability; how those feelings he tried so hard to shut away years ago, bubbled up to the surface so easily.

He pried his eyes away from the picture, resisting the urge to throw his camera across the room.

While the world went on around him, he was still stuck in the past. Forever trapped in the limbo of wanting more, and wanting to burn everything away.

Because despite it all, he couldn’t help but cling onto the smallest compliment, or melt with the slightest warm touch. He couldn’t help but follow him blindly into whatever silly place he had planned out for the two of them.

He couldn’t help but wish that things were different.

Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?

Sousuke groaned into his pillow, as he shielded his reddening face and tears from the world.

* * *

Chapter Text

* * *

I’m a fraud, and I’m impossible to love.

* * *

“Hey, Kou! We’re over here!”

Kou’s head perked up at the familiar voice behind him. He dodged the huge group of baseball players and made his way towards the patch of grass. Kou’s eyes flickered between the three of them. Satou, Yokoo and Sousuke sat neatly in a semicircle on top of a picnic blanket, which was generously shaded by the big oak tree behind them.

“Since when did you guys get close?” he asked incredulously while he sat next to Sousuke, who was flicking away a stray leaf.

“Well, us two and you two are together for the project, so it’s not like we don’t know each other! And since we’re all in our little pairs most of the time anyways, we figured we should officially invite Mitsuba-kun to our lunch breaks too.” Yokoo beamed while he nudged Satou. “Isn’t that right, Satou?”

Satou nodded. “Right. And we can talk about the project together. Tsuchigomori-sensei said that it’s important to get different opinions.”

The two of them grinned at Kou. The whole thing seemed oddly orchestrated, but he decided not to pry as he opened his lunch box. He was starving. Slices of rolled omelette, delicately shaped like petals laid on a bed of rice, along with a bunch of green onions scattered across the surface. A wisp of steam fluttered up to his face as his mouth lightly watered.

Before he could open his mouth though, a stray pair of chopsticks made their way into his lunch and swiftly plucked a piece of his rolled omelette.

“Don’t you have your own lunch?” Kou groaned, taking out his chopsticks in case the thief began another attack.

“Maybe, but I’ve never had something like this before.” Sousuke giggled as Kou’s eyebrow twitched. He dramatically opened his mouth and took a bite of the omelette, painstakingly chewing it and savouring the taste. His eyes widened in shock while he licked his lips. “Hey, this is pretty good!”

“Right? Kou’s cooking is the best!” Yokoo giggled.

“He can also make desserts.” Satou added, mouth slightly ajar. “Red bean jelly.. macarons..”

“Eh? Don’t tell me you wanna take Kou as your husband too?” teased Yokoo, earning him an elbow to the stomach.

“Mitsuba-kun~!” a distant voice shouted, breaking the four of them out of their conversation.

Sousuke dropped his chopsticks as he hid behind Kou, gripping tightly onto his shoulders as if he were about to fall.

“Eek! Hide me away from that psycho!!” he whisper-screamed at Kou.

“We didn’t get to finish our game, Mitsuba~!” Tsukasa giggled as he dashed behind the two of them. His arms snaked around Sousuke’s neck, tightly constricting him from the back. Sousuke’s grip on Kou loosened.

“Tsu..kasa!” Sousuke choked out, as his hands firmly attempted to push Tsukasa away by the chin. But, due to the angle of the attack, it seemed to be futile. If anything, Tsukasa’s grip around Sousuke’s neck only seemed to tighten.

“Hey!” Kou frantically grasped Tsukasa’s arms, attempting to pull him away. “Quit it!”

Tsukasa merely laughed at the two of them struggling, as if they were having a friendly banter between friends. Crap, it was as if he was an immovable object that was physically bonded to Sousuke. It was almost embarrassing how he managed to overpower the two of them. Satou and Yokoo were about to get involved too before another voice from behind them appeared.

“Tsukasa, that’s enough!”

The boy’s eyes fluttered wide in uncontrollable excitement as he turned his head, only slightly loosening his grip. “Amane!!”

That brief moment of weakness allowed Kou to finally pry the human-velcro off Sousuke, who bent over slightly, sputtering for air. Kou placed his hand on his back as he looked up at the newcomer.

“Amane!” Kou grinned. “Good to see you! Finally done moping?”

“I wasn’t moping.” he huffed. Amane grabbed the back of his brother’s blazer. “I’ll get Tsukasa out of your hair. See you later, kid.”

“Bye-bye! Let’s play later on~” Tsukasa gleamed while being forcefully dragged away.

Satou and Yokoo fussed over Sousuke as Kou watched the two boys slowly fade into the crowds. Of course, Tsukasa was Amane’s younger twin brother. How could he forget? They were mirror images of each other and even shared the same creepy, clingy side to them.

At least Amane knew how to keep him in check: Kou wasn’t sure what they could’ve done if he didn’t show up - that runt had more strength that he would’ve liked to admit.

He glanced down at Sousuke, removing his hand. “You okay?”

Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck with a slight wince on his expression. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m not as fragile as you think, Kou.”

If Sousuke had the energy to give him a sarcastic remark, then he clearly wasn’t injured too badly.

Kou wasn’t good with words, so instead, he offered him his strawberry mochi as wordless compensation, to which Sousuke accepted generously. Satou complained in the background, accusing Kou of playing favourites. Kou rolled his eyes in return, promising to get him something next time.

“Why’s that runt so clingy towards you?” asked Kou, picking up his abandoned chopsticks and lunch.

Sousuke simply shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as he took a sip of peach juice. “No idea, but that guy gives me the creeps.”

Kou took a bite out of his lunch. “You and me both.”

* * *

“If you touch anything in my room, I’ll break your arm.”

Kou rolled his eyes, completely unfazed by Sousuke’s threat: he knew not to take any of them seriously by now.

Most of his room was an on-brand salmon pink, as Kou expected. What he didn’t expect though, was the enormous mountain of plushies that were precariously stacked on the edge of Sousuke’s bed. One wrong move, and they’d cause a mini avalanche. On the other side of the room, rolls of undeveloped film were stacked on one another, forming huge looming towers on his shelves. Boxes of photographs were also sprinkled across the room, but Kou’s eyes were drawn to the bundle of photos stuck on his wall.

“Are all of these your pictures?”

“Obviously. That’s why they’re so good,” smirked Sousuke as he flung his bag onto his bed. The impact caused some of his plushies to tumble out of formation.

“Why are they on the wall? Shouldn’t they be in your other boxes or something?” enquired Kou.

Sousuke was stacking his plushies while humming. “They’re important to me, I guess. They’re too special to be hidden away, so they’re up on display.” A brief moment of silence. “But of course an artistically incompetent lame-o like you wouldn’t get it.”

Kou stared hard at the images, like an art critic in a museum, as he attempted to prove Sousuke wrong. He could appreciate a good piece of art once in a while, even if he was no good at creating them.

A duck flapping it’s wings before it touched the frosty water’s surface. A dozing fox underneath a lucky cat statue, hiding from the scorching summer heat. A cherry blossom tree in full bloom in the mid-spring. An autumn leaf fluttering in the wind, with dreary lines of car lights behind it.

They were nice photos, but Kou wasn’t really sure what made them so special compared to all of the other ones Sousuke took. A certain photograph however, caught his attention.

It was displayed on the side, away from the other ones. At first glance, it just looked like an array of different colours swirled together precariously, but closer inspection, it seemed like a close up shot of a tree. Some specks of sunlight diffused through the leaves, and there were a few light brown blobs plotted on the branches. A flock of sparrows, he reckoned. He wasn’t a bird expert, but they seemed to be the right shape and colour.

“What about this one? It’s kinda blurry,” Kou pointed at the picture, being careful not to touch it.

Sousuke turned his head back at him. His expression went from disbelief, before morphing into an emotion that Kou couldn’t decipher.

“What?” Kou stared back at him.

“... You don’t remember?”

Kou looked back confused, having no idea what he was talking about. Why would he know what Sousuke took a picture of?

“No? Why would I?”

Sousuke sighed, while mumbling something underneath his breath. He turned his head back at his table, and dropped a thick wad of photographs from their aquarium trip unceremoniously onto his floor.

Kou sat himself down on the floor patiently, avoiding the giant mountain of photos. When the other boy refused to make a move, Kou reached out for a picture of a crab. His fingers barely grazed it’s surface when Sousuke’s hand smacked him.

“I’m picking the photos,” huffed Sousuke. He plonked himself across from Kou, spreading out the images evenly  between them. A grin formed on Kou’s face as he pulled out his laptop.

Sousuke’s humming filled the silence between them. Kou would occasionally share a cool animal fact he found, which would soon be followed by Sousuke pelting a plushie at his face. Despite the multiple distractions, they were making decent progress.

“Did you like the aquarium?” Sousuke murmured out of the blue, while his hand gently rubbed the folded edge of a penguin photograph. It was so uncharacteristically quiet that it caused Kou’s head to snap up at him.

He glanced at Sousuke’s face, but the other seemed to avoid his eyes intentionally.

“Yeah,” Kou breathed out, perhaps more softly than usual. “I had a lot of fun.”

Sousuke gave him a sombre smile in return, and an unidentifiable emotion pulled heavily at Kou’s heart.

* * *

The clock ticked away, as a blackboard eraser slapped the side of Kou’s cheek, forming a huge cloud of dust in the air, and a white mark on his face. The impact snapped Kou back from his line of thought.

“Ow! What did you do that for!?” coughed Kou.

Sousuke held the eraser cheekily across from the desk Kou was wiping. He stuck his tongue out while laughing. “No reason.”

Kou snatched the offending weapon from his hands. He took a step forward and Sousuke took two steps back. Kou raised the eraser with a threatening look in his face.

“Aaahh! Don’t do it!!” Sousuke screamed before making a run for it. “You’ll besmirch my adorable face!!”

* * *

Sousuke wiped off the remnants of their ferocious battle with a handkerchief given to him from Satou, as the four of them walked out of the classroom.

“We leave you two alone for a second, and this happens,” huffed Satou.

“Kou started it!” said Sousuke, pretending to wipe away a tear.

Kou flicked his forehead for that, causing Sousuke to recoil dramatically. “I did not. Don’t make it sound like I’m the bad guy here.”

“Calm down with the lovers quarrel you two~, we’re still in school,” giggled Yokoo.

Kou saw Sousuke visibly flinch from the corner of his eyes. It was subtle, but completely messed up the rhythm of his footsteps.

Satou yoinked his handkerchief back from Sousuke. “You provoked him, Sousuke, so you’re both to blame.”

“I didn’t start anything.” Kou rolled his eyes, causing the pair to giggle uncontrollably.

Sousuke simply hummed, as he clutched his camera firmly in his fingers. “I have to head to the photography room for a bit. I need to discuss the competition deadline with the club leader.”

“No worries, I’ll wait for you at the gates,” waved Kou.

Sousuke gave him an empty smile as he walked up the stairs.

Sousuke was acting more distant lately, and Kou couldn’t put his finger on why. He’d still occasionally pull the same stupid stunts to get Kou’s attention, but he could feel this invisible line that the other had drawn out of nowhere.

Maybe it was Tsukasa. Sousuke missed their daily lunch meet ups these past few days, even though he’d had no issues with them before.

Maybe Sousuke was sick of him, the ugly side of his brain told him. They were paired up against their wills after all. He’d probably want to stop hanging out with them once the project was over.

Satou and Yokoo waved goodbye to him. All he could do was watch them from a distance. Satou gasped at a sign outside the convenience store, before dragging Yokoo into it, presumably to buy him an ice-cream.

There was that festival in a weeks time, he thought to himself. Tiara had originally mentioned it to him a few days ago; she’d wanted the three of them to go, but Teru was out on a business meeting on that same day. As a compromise, Kou had promised to take her somewhere else once he came back.

He glanced up at the giant school clock. Maybe Sousuke would like to go with him – it wasn’t that far away, so he shouldn’t be too opposed to the idea.

Kou smiled to himself as he watched the clouds slowly creep in front of the setting sun.

.

.

.

.

Sousuke never arrived to the gates that day.

* * *

The freezing cold air gnawed at his hands, forcing Kou to tuck them into his pockets. Sousuke was the one who urged him to meet up at the train station at 11 pm on a Saturday, yet he was nowhere to be found. Kou had been waiting almost half an hour for him. He really hoped that this wasn’t just an elaborate prank to make Kou stand alone on the platform like an idiot.

The breeze caused his earring to sway side to side. It was a good thing that he snagged a hoodie before he left the house. He hoped that Teru wouldn’t interrogate him too badly once he got back.

“Minamoto-kun!”

Kou’s head swished to the side, where a smiling Sousuke jogged towards him in his usual oversized pink sweater and yellow scarf.

He raised his eyebrow. “I told you to just call me Kou. I thought we were past all of the formalities.”

Sousuke’s smile didn’t reach his eyes.

The two of them wordlessly hopped onto the next train, where, unsurprisingly, their cart was completely empty. They stood in the middle, firmly grabbing the handgrips above them, as the train started moving.

“What gives? I was waiting forever at the gates for you yesterday.” Kou placed his free hand over Sousuke’s shoulder. “I was worried about you.”

“Oh, it took longer than I expected. It was really busy that day,” said Sousuke plainly, while he stated out of the window at the blurry images. “I couldn’t find you when I finally finished.”

A lie. When Sousuke didn’t seem to read Kou’s messages, Kou had frantically rushed to the photography rooms, only to find them locked and completely pitch black.

What’s wrong? He wanted to ask him. Why can’t you let me help you?

“Okay,” was all he could muster out.

They got off at the next stop and Kou wondered for a moment if they were in the right place. The platform was pretty old and worn down, with only a faint flickering light illuminating it. He could spot a small village in the distance, but everything would surely be closed by now. Apparently it was the right spot though, as Sousuke immediately skipped down the winding path.

“Why are we sneaking around at this hour anyways?” questioned Kou as he caught up the Sousuke, who was kneeling down at a patch of flowers.

“I still haven’t found the perfect picture.”

Kou looked at him incredulously. “Surely you have at least one good picture? Aren’t you supposed to be a good photographer?”

“Of course I am,” he scoffed, plucking off the petals one by one. They fluttered delicately to the ground, beside Kou’s feet. He resisted the urge to kick at them.

“So why did you drag me out here in the middle of the night?” asked Kou as he looked up at the moon above them. “We could’ve easily done this during the day when all the stores are open.”

“I came here to take photos of nature,” said Sousuke as he stretched his arms and pulled himself up from the ground. “People don’t usually notice it, but some of the prettiest things are only visible once the sun comes down.”

“Why me? You could’ve gone by yourself.” Kou looked at him tentatively.

Sousuke smiled in return. “Because we’re friends, aren’t we?”

* * *

They clambered onto a hill that overlooked the entire village, just as the moon reached the highest point in the sky. Sousuke complained about getting grass on his clothes, so Kou, like the gentleman he was, laid his hoodie down for his highness to sit on. All he got in return for his sacrifice was Sousuke sticking his tongue out at him.

Kou looked back at the path that they came from. It was almost shocking how much ground they’d covered in a couple of hours. Kou flopped onto the grass beside Sousuke, casting his gaze towards the stars.

If only there were shooting stars out tonight: that would be the only thing that could make this night even better.

Sousuke was still sitting up, while snapping an array of photos of the village beneath them. Kou noticed that his hair had come loose from all of the walking they’d done.

“Why don’t you take a picture of the stars? There’s tons of them out tonight.” Kou’s finger traced a bundle of stars, forming a swan shape.

Maybe Amane and Nene were watching the skies in this moment too. They’d probably be laying down on a roof somewhere, with Amane pointing out every constellation in the sky, and Nene watching him in fascination.

Sousuke glanced up for a moment before shrugging. “I know what stars look like, Minamoto-kun. It’s nothing new.”

Kou huffed at the weak attempt. “You can’t look at them like that.”

His hand grabbed Sousuke’s shoulder, before suddenly pulling him to the ground.

“Waa-!”

Before Sousuke could wriggle out, Kou stretched his arm across him, pining him down like a human seatbelt.

“H-Hey!! Get your hands off me pervert!!” Sousuke firmly gripped his arm, but didn’t attempt to break free.

Kou looked at him. “That’s not my name, Sousuke.”

“-Minamoto-kun.”

“Sousuke.”

“...”

“Sousuke.”

“Kou.”

“There you are,” chuckled Kou, moving his arm back to his side.

Sousuke frowned. “What? Can’t resist hearing my adorable voice call out your name?”

“Shut up and look at them.”

For once, Sousuke listened to him and looked up at the sky. His eyes wandered for a moment before settling on the pair of red stars, completely awestruck. Maybe it was Kou’s imagination, but the stars almost seemed brighter now with Sousuke watching them beside him.

“Look!” Kou excitedly pointed at the moving light soaring above them. “It’s a shooting star!”

Sousuke pointed his camera towards it, holding his breath as he clicked the shutter button. Kou always thought that it was fascinating how he knew when to perfectly time each click.

Sousuke’s eyes narrowed when he examined the picture closely. “That’s a plane you dumbass.”

Kou rolled his eyes and nudged him with his shoulder, almost causing Sousuke to drop his camera.

“Can’t we pretend that airplanes in the sky are like shooting stars?” muttered Kou as he turned his head towards Sousuke, who was already staring at him wide-eyed in turn.

Even with all of the stars shining above them, they wouldn’t be able to compete with the way Sousuke’s eyes burned brightly into his.

The only thing that ruined it, was a stand of pink hair that was digging into the side of Sousuke’s eye. Without thinking, Kou reached over to tuck it behind his ear, feeling the way Sousuke’s breath hitched underneath his hand. The tightness in his chest reminded Kou that he was holding his breath too.

Neither of them said a word, too scared that even the slightest murmur would break down this fragile moment into tiny glass shards. Kou wouldn’t mind if he died underneath these stars tonight, with this view forever etched into his mind.

Without tearing away his gaze, Sousuke’s hand gently nudged the side of Kou’s hand, before loosely locking their pinkie fingers together.

* * *

Chapter Text

* * * 

A second burn mark now accompanied the first one on the kitchen wall.

“You only had to shape rice,” groaned Kou while he placed the chicken into scalding hot oil. Beads of bubbles fizzed around each piece, slowly turning them a pale golden brown. “Why were you using fire!?”

“I thought it might taste better cooked,” Teru smiled nonchalantly as he swiped at his apron.

“Don’t add unnecessary steps! Stay away from the stove!”

Teru simply chuckled as he waddled towards the counter and began wrestling with the plastic wrap roll. Kou glanced at him nervously as he grabbed the rice paddle.

As usual, Kou was the one to clean up Teru’s mishaps in the kitchen. It was a small miracle that he was there to put out the roaring tower of fire as soon as it appeared, and it would take another miracle for Teru to make something that didn’t look radioactive: they all had food poisoning for days the last time he tried to cook for the family.

Kou inwardly sighed as he flipped each of the chicken pieces over carefully to avoid splashing oil onto himself. It was kind of endearing that despite their difference in age, Kou was the one patching him up and cooking for him whenever their mom wasn’t home.

“Kou. If I’m being honest, I don’t think you’re cut out for the family business.” Teru squished the rice, forming vague triangles. “You’re too kind and too trusting of others; you’d only get taken advantage of by people with more money and power than you.”

Kou turned the knob on the stove, letting the pot of oil slowly cool down. His solemn expression stared back at him through the orange liquid as he took in his words. 

Teru was probably right, he usually was with these things. But...

‘Doesn’t it get hard for you then?”

Teru held the rice ball still in his hands, eyes lingering on the faint crack in the wall. “Sure, there were times that I wanted to be born into a normal family, where I didn’t have to give up my childhood or hobbies to follow in dad’s footsteps, but I don’t hate it now. It suits me. I’m not like you, Kou - I don’t really care about helping others that aren’t close to me.”

A lump formed in his throat. Usually, this was the moment that Kou would admit defeat and force down the emotional side of himself, because emotions make you unstable and unreliable. But this time, the words seemed to bubble out of him against those reservations. Maybe it was because he was just sick of always being left behind.

(Maybe all of that time spent with Sousuke was starting to rub off on him.)

“I want to be as strong as you, Teru-nii.”

He looked at Kou with a slight frown. “Even if you’ll get hurt?”

Kou looked at him with an unwavering glint in his eyes. “I want to be strong enough to protect to people I care about. I know that I’m not as smart or talented as you, but I can’t just sit here and rely on others: I want to be strong enough to protect the both of us.”

He wanted Teru to believe in him, because Kou wasn’t the weak boy that needed to be protected anymore. If he kept working hard, he could prove that whatever his brother could do, he could do as well. He wanted to bridge the growing gap between them. 

Teru looked at him wide-eyed. The expression looked foreign on his face – it felt too human, too imperfect. But on second thought, maybe it did suit him. Because right now, Teru wasn’t the perfect school president who had a reputation to upkeep, or the child prodigy that was leagues ahead of him. Instead, he was Kou’s caring older brother, who was awful at crane games and disastrous in the kitchen. He was the Teru that Kou yearned to catch up to.

“Alright,” Teru calmly replied, but Kou saw that he was hiding a genuine smile beneath the surface.

* * *

Sousuke hummed as he skipped up the steps to the gardening club. Today was a beautiful day – the sun was out, he had finally submitted his photograph for his competition, and he’d just spotted a fresh pair of radishes sprouting in the school garden. 

“What are you doing, Radish-senpai?” said Sousuke, leaning over her shoulder.

An ear-splitting scream shot through him as Nene flopped backwards onto his shoes. In the process, she dropped something onto the ground.

“S-Sousuke!!” 

He brought his sleeved hand to his mouth, attempting to mask his smirk. “What? Just seen a ghost?”

Nene sighed as she grabbed onto the hand he was offering towards her. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.”

“Hmm~, what are you doing crouched down on the ground anyways?” he peered over her shoulder at the flowers that were now sprawled across the ground. “A bouquet? It’s kinda ugly.”

Nene muttered something underneath her breath, before raising her dirt-covered hands, like a zombie, at Sousuke.

“Eek-! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!” yelped Sousuke. He waved his hands frantically. “It’s a joke! They look nice!”

Nene huffed, poking a finger at his sweater, which caused a faint brown smudge to form on it, much to Sousuke’s dismay. “You’re nothing but trouble sometimes.”

Sousuke gasped dramatically before slapping both of his hands on her shoulders. “Who are you and what have you done to my sweet Radish-senpai?!”

“Just help me pick them up before you go,” she smiled.

Sousuke was in a good mood today, so he decided to help her out without much fuss. If Nene had a few more leaves stuck in her hair than when they’d started.. well, nobody had to know.

He handed her the final flower. “Who were they for?”

Silence. Sousuke glanced up at her, noticing that she’d completely avoided his gaze now.

“Oh, I get it. Your boyfriend.” Sousuke chuckled as he shooed a flock of pigeons away from the tomato plants. “How far have you two gone? Have you held hands yet? Kissed?”

Nene basically dug her face into the flowers; the way that she flushed beet-red wordlessly gave him his answer. 

His face quickly morphed into disgust. “Gross.”

Nene gently lifted a flower out of the bouquet, rearranging it to the left. “A-Anyways, thanks for the help, Sousuke. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”
“I’ve just been busy, I guess,” shrugged Sousuke.

Nene’s eyes suddenly glowed. “Are you free tomorrow after school?”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“We managed to grow way more vegetables this year than before, and it’s about time that we harvest them. I’ve already asked all of the gardening club members, but we’ll need all the help that we can get-”

Sousuke immediately pivoted away from her. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.” 

He took exactly three steps forward.

“Kou-kun will be there too.”

He turned around and narrowed his eyes at Nene in disgust. “Why’d you think that would make a difference? 

Nene completely ignored his question as she excitedly rushed to his side. “How’s it going between you two anyways?” She was practically bouncing off of the walls in excitement, clearly not bothering to hide it.

“Pfft-! He’s the worse!” Sousuke turned his nose up dramatically. “At first, he made me climb up a whole freaking mountain, and I almost collapsed halfway. Then we went to the aquarium, which I suggested by the way, and he couldn’t even take one good picture of me!.. It would’ve been way easier if I did the whole thing by myself!!” 

Sousuke inhaled, suddenly out of breath. 

“But..” he rested his hands on top of his camera. “He also showed me how to make flan after school, and he gave me his stupid penguin charm at the aquarium because I said that it was my favourite, and he watched the stars with me. Even if he couldn’t tell the difference between a shooting star and an airplane...” He sighed. “It was still pretty fun.”

“Why don’t you confess to him?”

Because he can’t take the inevitable sting of rejection that will follow it. He’d rather continue to drown in those ocean blue eyes, than to discover what it feels like to breathe above the water. If Sousuke was a person drowning at sea, Kou would the brave hero that would try to save him, even if he didn’t know how to swim either. He’d be the one to give Sousuke hope and pull him back onto dry land.

And he hated it. He hated how Kou made him feel special, because no matter what fantasies Sousuke spun in his head, he had to face the fact that Kou was like that with everyone. 

Kou was the stupid kid that would run errands after school for his teachers. Kou was the silly boy that would climb trees to save cats, despite not knowing how to get down by himself. Kou was the annoying classmate that would drag him from behind the camera, into the focal point of the picture.

(Kou in a way, was many things, which was what made him so easy to love.)

“I’ll buy you your favourite ice-cream too.” Nene nudged his shoulder, completely oblivious to his inner turmoil.

“Fine, only if you get me peach juice too,” said Sousuke plainly, while absentmindedly fidgeting with his camera strap. “I’m only going for the ice-cream - don’t get it twisted, Radish-senpai.”

Nene looked back at him with a certain glint in her eyes.

* * *

Deep blue enshrouded his bedroom walls as he tossed and turned for the nth time. The bed was too warm. His clothes clung onto his skin like honey, despite the fact that his fan was blasting air at him and his duvet was abandoned on the edge of the bed. Ticking echoed loudly throughout the room, making its presence known. Kou groaned as he placed his feet on the ground, wiping his eyes before glancing up at the clock.

Three a.m.

He’d pretty much accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon. If he hadn’t promised Nene that he’d help her out after school tomorrow, he’d consider skipping. Today technically. He ruffled his bed hair, causing it to poof up like a dandelion. Maybe some fresh air would help.

Snatching a jacket, wallet and a pair of shoes, he quietly exited the house without waking up anyone. The last time he snuck out to meet with Sousuke, Teru wouldn’t stop rolling on the floor, begging Kou to tell him who this new friend was.

The air did seem to help clear his head. Like jumping into a swimming pool, the sensation cooled down his warm skin. It was oddly comforting in a way, how the stars above him shone brightly as if he were the centre of their lives. Just like that night, with their fingers interlocked together and those pink eyes burning into his. He wouldn’t mind he stayed frozen in that picture perfect moment.

Kou slapped both of his hands loudly onto his cheeks, forcing his mind to focus on the stinging sensation instead. What was wrong with him? Surely these thoughts were just the effects from the lack of sleep.

His feet ended up bringing him inside a convenience store not far from his home. He wasn’t really planning on going on a late shopping trip, but since he was already here, he might as well buy Tiara the fish gummies she’d been begging him for. Maybe some milk for breakfast too. He hummed to himself as he walked over to the fridge section and pulled out a carton of semi-skimmed milk.

He made his way to the candy aisle and almost immediately stopped - a young boy was precariously stood on his tiptoes, while balancing on the edge of a grey stool. He seemed to be reaching out for a packet on the top shelf, but came ever so slightly short.

Kou stood beside him, effortlessly grabbing the candy packet and handing it to the boy. “Here.”

His heart almost stopped.

Tsukasa Yugi.

Kou blinked at him wide-eyed. Tsukasa wordlessly snatched the bag from him and continued down the aisle, while Kou watched him incredulously. What a weirdo. Out of all of the people that he could’ve bumped into...

Kou sighed, locating the pack of fish gummies that he came here for. Would Tiara like the strawberry or cola flavour? Well, he might as well get both in case she wanted them for a different day. He fumbled with his change at the checkout for a tad longer than he would’ve liked, but managed to make it out of the convenience store in one piece. He breathed, relishing the way that the cold burned through his lungs, when an abnormally loud rustle from behind him caused him to almost jump out of his skin.

Tsukasa held the open bag of candy at Kou. “Here, take one!”

“Uh-, I’m good.” Kou waved his hands, attempting to kindly refuse the offer.

Tsukasa’s hand didn’t back down. If anything, it seemed to have gotten closer to him and was almost touching his hand. A group of cars drove past them, and Kou could swear that he just felt his soul vibrate inside of him while Tsukasa stood there menacingly. 

If he didn’t take the candy, would the runt kill him on the spot? He wasn’t sure how long it would take to die from suffocation, but he didn’t really want to find out in this moment. Amane was probably not here to save him if things went south.

Kou put on his best cheery face on as he hesitantly plucked one out of the bag. “Uh, thanks..”

Tsukasa’s beady eyes twitched at him.

Kou nervously placed it into his mouth, and instantly regret it.

His face unwillingly morphed into disgust as he attempted to swallow it. The candy had a slightly salty, almost medicinal flavour that was followed by an almost rancid aftertaste. His stomach seemed to churn at what he’d just put into his body. If death was a flavour, Kou was sure that he just ate it. Tsukasa giggled beside him, before shoving a small handful of the candy into his mouth. On a normal day, Kou would’ve probably been impressed. Right now though, he wanted to vomit onto the sidewalk.

“I wonder if Mitsuba-kun would make the same expression.”

Kou automatically scoffed, the bitter aftertaste in his mouth almost completely fading. “Leave him alone.”

“Hm?”

“Why are you always picking on him? Can’t you just be.. like your older brother?”

Tsukasa clutched the sides of his stomach, as if Kou had just told the world’s funniest joke. “I guess I just like the look on people’s faces when they decide to stop holding back.”

Seriously, what was wrong with this kid? Amane had a few screws loose here and there, but with Tsukasa, it seemed like the whole toolbox was missing. 

Kou furrowed his eyebrows slightly. “Sousuke isn’t your new toy.”

“Eh? Why not?” Tsukasa looked up at him innocently.

“Because-”

His face dropped into an almost blank expression.

“Do you love him?”

* * *

Kou threw the potato, narrowly missing the basket and causing it to tumble onto the ground. It look longer than usual for him to register it, his mind preoccupied with the events from last night. He picked it up and contained to gently tug at another plant. 

Do you love him?

Curse that runt for putting weird thoughts into his head! Kou huffed and wiped the bead of sweat that formed on his forehead. There was this strange tingling sensation that followed him everywhere he went recently, and he wanted nothing more than for it to disappear. 

Sousuke relied on him. He couldn’t afford to let him down.

The earth around the potatoes began to crumble, as Kou failed to notice the pair of hands that snuck up onto his shoulders.

“Boo-!”

“Argh--!” The potatoes were flung across the garden, almost hitting one of the club members. Kou looked up scornfully at the culprit of both the attack, and his distracted mind. “Sousuke!”

“Scaredy-cat traffic-safety earring~” he laughed melodiously before crouching beside Kou, who went back to unsuccessfully tugging at another potato plant. “Spacing out again?”

Kou didn’t respond. Instead, he yanked another plant, causing dirt to fly into both of their faces.

“-Ack! Hey, I just washed my hair this morning!”

“It looks fine.” Kou gently swiped Sousuke’s hair, causing some of the dirt to fall out. He stuck his tongue out at him. “You deserved it anyways.”

Sousuke chuckled menacingly before leaning forward into Kou’s face. “I dare you to say that to my face again, Kou-kun.”

Their usual light-hearted bantering. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Oh, I will,” Kou grinned back. “You-”

Freezing cold water was thrown at the back of both of their heads, completely drenching them. Sousuke let out a high-pitched screech, as if he’d just been stabbed.

“No slacking off, you two,” Amane chuckled, throwing the bucket onto the ground. “These vegetables aren’t going to harvest themselves.”

Kou looked at him incredulously, completely lost for words as the water dripped around him. “What was that for?”

“Guys, what’s going on?!” Nene jogged towards them, concerned. Her expression quickly dissipated at the scene in front of her though.

“Radish-senpai!” Sousuke whined, taking out his ponytail and trying to squeeze out all of the water in his hair. Kou tried his best not to stare. “They’re both bullying me!”

Kou frowned at him. “I did nothing to you.”

“You flicked dirt into my hair!”

“It was an accident!”

Amane chuckled and made his way to her side as Kou and Sousuke continued bickering. She clearly remembered passing him the bucket that was now suspiciously laying on the floor and empty - she would have to scold him later. Nene’s eyes wandered between the remaining two boys before sighing. 

“You two are hopeless.” She glanced at the potatoes sprawled across the floor before looking back at them. “The towels are on the side, but pick those potatoes off the floor before you go there.”

* * *

Kou rubbed his shoulder absentmindedly as he walked down the path from the gardening club with a yellow scarf in his other hand. What a terrible start to the week. Pulling out an endless amount of potatoes and carrots, and being drenched in water were not on his original plan, but a familiar shade of pink pulled him out of his temporary pessimism. 

“Sousuke! You left your scarf on the side.”

He looked at Kou puzzled, before relaxing. “Ah, thanks Kou. Give me a second.”

Sousuke fiddled around with the various books and sheets in his arms, clearly struggling to shove them all into his bag. Kou should probably help hold his bag up for him. His hands worked faster than his brain however, instead deciding to wrap the scarf around Sousuke’s neck snuggly.

“W-What are you doing?” Sousuke chuckled while tugging it down slightly. “Sorry, but I’m not into guys with lame earrings.”

.

The world seemed to stop abruptly. Sousuke had expected Kou to retort like he usually did whether he said something like this, but instead, he had a hurt expression plastered onto his face. Sousuke felt like he’d just kicked a puppy.

“S-Sorry,” Sousuke automatically blurted out. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.”

Guilt continued to seep into him. “And all of those other times I made fun of you. And when you flicked dirt into my hair, that too.”

“I know.” Kou huffed, smirking as he nudged Sousuke’s shoulder. “Maybe you’d be more popular if you were fake-nice all of the time. But, I like that side of you who isn’t afraid to say what’s on your mind. Even if you’re more trouble than you’re worth sometimes, you’re genuine.”

Oh, the irony right now.

“Don’t say those kinds of things, or I’ll actually start thinking that you have a thing for me.” Sousuke half-heartedly laughed. 

His sentence hung delicately, like a chandelier, between them.

Kou scoffed while looking at him. “You say the strangest things sometimes. Why can’t I say nice things about you?”

“Why now?”

“Because you’re special to me and I-” Kou paused. “You’re my best friend, Sousuke.”

It fell, shattering into a million little shards.

“I didn’t ask if-,” Sousuke bit his tongue. “Ah-, just-... nevermind.”

The glass shards all around him threatened to dig into him - it was what he got for being cocky. He shouldn’t have had it made out of such fragile materials.

Kou looked at him concerned. “Sousuke-”

It took everything in him to not break down in front of Kou, If he had just closed his eyes, he could’ve believed for a second that...

No. He was a fool for hoping that.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kou,” Sousuke sweetly smiled, not daring to meet his eyes because if he did, he was sure Kou would see through the cracks in his façade and into his heart.

He turned and began walking, not daring to look behind him.

* * *

Flowers spend their entire lives basking in the sun’s rays, worshiping its beauty, and craving its existence. Like how moths are pulled towards light, the flowers can’t help but be drawn towards the sun with its golden hues and warm-hearted nature. The flowers watch from afar and yearn for the two of them to be together forever, as without its gentle glow, they’re destined to wither away into the space where nothing is meant to exist.

Perhaps it’s all by nature’s design. Flowers are selfish beings, parasites that take everything from the world, while the sun is a selfless hero that dedicates its life to helping those around it. They’re both bound to their respective roles, unable to escape.

It was naïve of them to believe that they had a chance, really. Maybe it was always doomed to be this one-sided relationship - a tale predetermined by fate to end bittersweet.

Because no matter how much the flowers weep, things will never change. No matter how hard they try or wish, they’ll never be able to grow far enough to reach out to it. They’ll never be able to hold the sun tenderly in their arms because the sun is at home up in the sky, while they’re bound down to the earth beneath it.

* * *

Chapter Text

* * *

“Kou-kun!”

Kou span around, his smile widening at the approaching figure as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “What’s up, Yashiro?”

She smiled as she held up a small plastic bag towards him. “As a thanks for yesterday.”

As always, Nene was so caring, not just to him, but everyone around her. That girl may sometimes have the survival instincts of a panda, but she really did have a heart of gold.

Kou thanked her profusely, briefly glancing at the strawberry-shaped silhouettes. “Wow, these look great! Did you grow them yourself?”

“Yep.” said Nene excitedly.

She told him how she’d never tried growing this specific variety before, something to do with how fussy they usually were, but someone had gifted her a couple plants... Kou simply nodded along, only half listening, and carefully placed the gift into his bag to avoid crushing them. Tiara would love them. She liked all fruits really, and a majority of vegetables; much to Kou’s relief, she wasn’t too picky of an eater, unless it was bell peppers.

Nene placed something soft into his hands, snapping him back into reality. “-By the way, could you give this to Sousuke-kun the next time you see him?” she asked.

Kou looked down at his hand. It was a bright pink bunny keychain that obviously fit in with Sousuke’s style: a cute face smiled back at him, and Nene had even painstakingly made it a mini top hat and suit. Kou knew absolutely nothing about sewing, but she’d clearly spent a lot of time and effort on it, judging by the dozens of bandages wrapped around her fingers.

Kou turned the trinket around in his hands. “Why don’t you give it to him yourself?”

“It’ll mean more coming from you than from me.”

“What does that even mean-” he looked up, suddenly realising that Nene had disappeared. He glanced around the area, but it was as if she had never stopped by. Kou looked back down at the bunny.

He’d forgotten to tell her that he hadn’t seen Sousuke all day.

* * *

A drop of water spilled out of the glass vase as Kou set it down on the desk. He huffed as he grabbed a nearby cloth to wipe away the puddle. Meanwhile, his friends were being extremely helpful: Yokoo was kicking a paper ball around the classroom, and Satou was cheering for him while perched on a table. Kou tossed the cloth onto the side, as the paper ball was shot into the recycling bin beside him.

“And he scores~!” Yokoo cheered, waving his arms around and muttering 'thank yous' to an invisible crowd. Kou and Satou simply chucked on the side.

“Oh Yokoo-kun, I’m your biggest fan,” said Satou sarcastically. “Could you spare me a moment of your time for an autograph?”

“You could probably sell it for a lot of money once he becomes famous,” joked Kou.

“I think it’d ultimately just collect dust.”

Yokoo giggled as he made his way towards them. “Just you wait! Before you’ll know it, you’ll see me on TV and you would’ve wished that you got that autograph.”

Satou smiled, kicking him lightly in the stomach. “I’d be watching you on the TV of my bakery, and I’d be so devastated that you left us behind, that I’d make you your favourite pastries as an attempt to sway you off your feet.”

“-Ah, that reminds me, Satou.” Kou ruffled through his bag and pulled out a box of limited edition, birthday cake flavoured pocky. “Catch!”

He caught it mid-air, eyes dazzling. It had barely been a second before he had ripped the packaging open and stuffed a couple of sticks into his mouth, mumbling an incoherent noise of gratitude.

Yokoo pressed his two hands together, looking at him pleadingly. “Surely I get one too, Kou?”

“Once you’re famous, you’ll be able to afford all of the snacks that you’d ever want,” he smirked.

“But that doesn’t help me right now,” he whined. Yokoo groaned as the two of them rumbled with laughter, with Satou offering him a broken stick in consolation. Kou’s cheeks hurt as he subconsciously glanced at the empty space beside him.

* * *

“Waa-! It’s hot!” Teru sputtered for air with his mouth still full of the piping hot custard. Kou could see the wisps of steam wafting out of his mouth.

“They just came out of the oven. I told you that they’d be hot.” Kou hummed, his arms elbow deep in soapy warm water as he cleaned off the final whisk and placed it with the other washed utensils. It was the rare time that the two of them would be leaving at the same time: Teru’s meeting had been suddenly cut short today and coincidentally, Kou had been staying behind as well to make another batch of flans.

“Who knew that the charming, perfect student council president could be so pathetic,” Akane smirked beside Teru. He gently blew at his spoonful of flan and took a bite, only for Teru to slap his back with so much force that some of it came back up.

“Arrgh--!”

“What was that again, Akane~?”

“You slimy jerk!”

“Um, how are they?” asked Kou hesitantly, while awkwardly looking between them.

Akane looked at him surprised, as if he’d just noticed his presence. “It’s good. Are you sure that you’re both related?”

Teru smiled warmly. “Your cooking and baking always is though, Kou. Probably the best in the world.”

Kou coughed slightly at the compliments, but couldn’t quite bring himself to believe them. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what the flans were missing - it was the same recipe as last time, but they tasted different somehow. Although neither Teru or Akane would never lie to him to make him feel better, Kou couldn’t bring himself to gift these to him.

Sousuke would probably make fun of him and somehow spin the narrative to make it sound like Kou did it on purpose. Perhaps accuse him of poisoning them. Kou rubbed at the pounding headache that was beginning to form.

Oh well, maybe Sousuke will be back tomorrow.

* * *

“You can do it! Faster! Faster!!” Amane cheered the two of them on from the sidelines, waving a pair of towels around and clearly not helping.

Kou hadn’t anticipated that he’d be spending his Friday after school scrubbing the bathrooms in the abandoned school building. Amane had spilled a bottle of ink onto the floor and walls, painting a huge section of the room in a sticky black. What he planned to originally do with it in the girls’ bathroom, Kou had no idea, but he and Nene were recruited to help.

Nene sighed, dipping the rag into the soapy sink, causing the water to go disgustingly murky. “We’ve been at it for so long, but we’ve barely made any progress. Maybe I should wish for a handsome prince to fall from the sky and help us.”

Amane pouted, hugging her from behind. “Why wait for a prince when you have me?”

The bottle of cleaner slipped out of Kou’s hands, landing on his foot. He scoffed before bending down to retrieve it.

Nene looked at him with concern. “Are you okay, Kou-kun?”

“He’s been sulking all week,” chuckled Amane. He filled another bucket with warm soapy water, accidently spilling some on the floor.

Kou continued to silently scrub at the stubborn section of ink, ignoring Amane. He was the one who was always sulking, not Kou. He just wanted to get a reaction out of him, and Kou wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. He spritzed some of the solution onto the rag.

“-Did pinky reject you?”

A thud.

“I-I don’t like him like that! Why would you even say that?” Kou hotly replied, bending down to reach for the bottle once more. They should really add a handle or some sort of grip to these. Surely this was some sort of safety hazard.

“You’re a bad liar at the best of times, Kou.” Amane popped up beside him, giggling.

“As if that guy would ever think about someone other than himself,” mumbled Kou as he began to wipe the mirrors instead.

“So you do like him.”

The rag slipped out of his hand and Kou internally cursed at himself. It of all the times that Amane decided to be persistent, of course it had to be now. “Okay, okay! Maybe I do, but-”

A high pitched squeal of excitement ripped through both of their ears, disorientating them. If Kou didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed someone had just gotten murdered in these bathrooms. Thank god no one else was in this building.

“Hey, my ears are getting delicate in my old age,” whined Amane, covering his ears. “Did you have to be so loud?”

Nene plainly ignored him and rushed towards Kou, her eyes twinkling brightly. “Is that true, Kou-kun?!”

He groaned, finally picking up the rag and dunking it into the bucket. “Why would it matter anyways? He doesn’t like me like that. He just makes those jokes to rile me up.”

He paused, starting intently at his reflection in the mirror. “Besides, I can’t help but feel like he’s been avoiding me lately. He’s not been in class, not reading any of my messages, or answering any of my calls.” Kou let out an empty laugh. “Maybe he finally got fed up of me.”

Kou gazed back at the mirror, only to jump at a looming, dark figure behind him. He swivelled around, spray bottle in hand.

Nene firmly gripped both of Kou’s shoulders, so tightly that he couldn’t move. “I can’t take this anymore... You two are absolute idiots..” she muttered, a dark energy oozing out from her.

“Woah! Yashiro-!”

She shook him violently, cutting him off. “Did you give him the keychain?”

Kou sheepishly looked at her, scratching the side of his cheek. “Sorry, I haven’t seen him all week. You should probably take it back-”

“Why don’t you go and see him right now? You have his address, right?”

His heart dropped. “Yeah, but I can’t just show up like-”

Nene smiled sweetly at him before forcefully turning him around and pushing him towards the exit. “It’s settled then! Go over there and dump your feelings on to him!”

“The ink stain-”

“Nene and I can handle it,” said Amane as he smiled behind her.

Kou looked at him suspiciously. “You’d just make it worse!”

“Hey! Have a bit of faith in me, kid.”

“Stop it, you two! This is not the time for that right now.” Nene shoved them apart, sending Kou flying into the hallway. He yelped and caught himself before he face-planted the floor. She waved at him. “Sousuke needs you more than us right now.”

“Go~! Go~!”

That was all of the encouragement Kou needed.

Before he knew it, he was stood outside of Sousuke’s apartment door, hands on his knees, and gasping for air.

Three gentle knocks. He had absolutely no idea what he wanted to say to him. Perhaps he should’ve planned out what to say as he was running here, but he figured it would be more genuine if he just said it straight from the heart. He was good at that sort of thing. That plan was extremely short lived as soon as Sousuke opened the door.

Kou almost did a double take. His pink hair was down and pointing out in various directions, seemingly not brushed out, and judging by the dark circles underneath his eyes, he hadn’t slept well in days.

Sousuke visibly flinched, before his expression dropped into a scowl. “W-What are you doing here? Showing up to my house like some sort of creep?!”

Kou opened his mouth, only to shut it immediately.

Sousuke blinked at him owlishly before his attention seemed to be directed towards Kou’s hand, where he was still clutching onto the keychain like a lifeline. He brought it up to him. It matched with the fluffy pink bunny slippers he was wearing right now.

Sousuke’s eyes sparkled at the gift, cupping it gently in his palms. “Did Radish-senpai make this?” Kou simply nodded. He could see that the other boy was trying to hold back a grin, and was failing miserably. “Well, thanks for giving it to me, I guess.”

“You weren’t in school all week,” Kou blurted out. Not a question, but a statement.

“Yeah, I was ill,” Sousuke said pointedly. He attached the keychain to the side of his pocket while smirking. “Did you miss me that badly that you couldn’t wait another week to see me?”

He was so nonchalant about it, that it made Kou feel silly for worrying this whole week about him. The tips of his ears burned red with embarrassment as he took half a step back. Just as he was about to make a terrible excuse of needing to pick up Tiara from ballet class though, Kou noticed that Sousuke was fidgeting with his pink sleeve, folding the cloth over itself and tugging at a stray strand of thread. His face was slightly flushed pink while he completely avoided eye contact.

So he was hiding something after all.

Kou decided to test the waters, raising his eyebrow. “You sound fine right now.”

Sousuke huffed in response, his eyes moving towards the wall beside him. “I got better.”

Kou took a step forward. “You’ve been ignoring all of my messages.”

A step backwards. “I didn’t see them.”

“And my calls.”

“My phone died.”

Kou stared at him incredulously. “You’re hiding something,” he finally blurted. If he didn’t address the elephant in the room right now, Sousuke would only keep on running away.

Sousuke groaned. “Just drop it. It’s nothing.”

Kou’s voice wavered slightly as he leaned closer. “Can’t you just let me listen to what’s been bothering you? It must be serious if you’ve avoiding school all week.”

Sousuke gritted his teeth, still looking away from Kou. “You can’t fix all of my problems, Kou.”

“I want to. You listened to my worries, so let me help you-”

A sharp shove sent him backwards, and Kou barely caught himself on the doorway.

“But you can’t!!” Sousuke yelled, his voice cracking. “Can’t you give your stupid hero complex a rest for once? You can’t help me; you’d only make it worse!”

It was only now Kou realised that tears were falling from Sousuke’s face, as if a dam had just been broken. He was wiping each drop with his sleeve, which worked for a brief moment until another cascade of tears appeared. Kou froze, completely lost on what to do.

He had seen Sousuke cry plenty of times, sure, but those were usually crocodile tears that he’d use to sway Kou into doing what he wanted. Light-hearted, and not to be taken seriously, just like his other antics. This time though, it felt like Kou was intruding into a part of Sousuke that he wasn’t meant to see.

“I though that if I distanced myself from you again, that-” A sob ripped through him. “-But I couldn’t help myself. I’m selfish, okay?! I’d tell myself that this was the last time, and then you’d do your stupid goofy grin and look at me with your stupid eyes. It hurts how nice you are to me. Stupid Kou-kun and his stupid hero complex.”

Kou crept closer towards him, speaking softly. “Sousuke...”

“Even now, you can’t bring yourself to hate me. Why do you have to be so kind to me, when all I do is torment you? Or are you dumb enough to not even realise that?” Sousuke let out an ugly laugh, before throwing his head back and covering his eyes. “..Why did I have to fall for you?”

Kou didn’t know what to do, or what to say. His mouth had been bolted shut, and he felt as if he was about to perform on stage for the world to see. Still, a sliver of hope tugged at him.

So he didn’t think or say anything. Instead, he snatched Sousuke’s wrist and yanked him through the door.

The breeze rushed though them, chilling their faces, while Kou’s legs were driven by an indescribable force - he wasn’t sure where he was going, instead letting his heart lead the way, because he knew that it would lead them towards the right path.

“W-Wait!” Sousuke yelled.

Kou could hear the sounds of water being flung against the rocky cliffs, before slowly reuniting with the sea. Each splash overlapped each other like instruments in an orchestra, forming a harmonious melody.

“Where are we going?!”

In hindsight, he should’ve worn sandals. Kou could feel the grains of sand already seeping into his socks and sticking in between his toes. Sousuke’s fluffy slippers weren’t doing much better either. It was sad to see them all muddied and matted – Kou would have to buy him some new ones later on.

“Kou.”

A flock of seagulls squawked above them, weaving between each other before elegantly perching themselves on a large pile of rocks. There was barely anyone here, though that shouldn’t really be a surprise: it was too early for the nightlife to start, but also too late for all of the usual things people did during the day to continue. It was a pleasant view though, perhaps the two of them could come here more often.

A sharp tug pulled him out of his wandering thoughts.

“Kou. It’s fine. Just-” Sousuke broke free out of his grasp, forcing him to stop in his tracks. Kou looked back at him, eyes wide.

A gentle silhouette of light formed around Sousuke, softening his features and making him look ethereal. Sousuke was staring down at his shoes as Kou took a step towards him. “We’ll finish the project and I’ll move classes. You won’t ever have to see me again. I-”

Kou looked at the ground between them. “Y’know, I never really liked beaches. The sand gets everywhere, I burn easily and I don’t even know how to swim. And I never liked getting my photos taken either. I’m not photogenic like you.. but it felt right that day at the aquarium, with you by my side.”

Sousuke watched him silently through his eyelashes, causing Kou’s throat to dry up, but he continued anyway.

“I want to keep on taking pictures and going on these silly adventures – running up mountains, looking at all of the fish...” Kou let out a shaky laugh, trying his best not to break down. If he stopped talking right now, he was sure that he wouldn’t have the courage to continue. “Even when you almost pushed me down the steps, or when I got absolutely soaked at the sea lion show-”

Kou’s hands gently cupped the sides of Sousuke’s cheeks. “I want to keep on spending time with you.”

Sousuke snorted. “Do you even know what you’re saying? Has my cuteness driven you crazy or have you fallen in love with me?”

There it was again. Sousuke said it in his usual teasing tone, but Kou could hear the silent question behind it now. He had tentatively cast a fishing hook in front of Kou, far enough for him to have plausible deniability, but close enough for Kou to latch on. Perhaps he’ll take the bait this time.

“Maybe I have. Is it really that bad?”

Sousuke’s eyes shot up, meeting his fully, and Kou could’ve sworn that time froze. Not the floating feeling of anticipation, but the sinking feeling of dread. It was like he’d reached the peak of a rollercoaster, and was waiting for the inevitable fall back down, only for the ride to seemingly pause at the top, holding him in a state of limbo.

Because right now, with the unreadable expression plastered over Sousuke’s face, Kou felt like he was looking down at that drop. Waiting. Simply waiting with the sense of powerlessness gnawing at him like a hungry animal, because nothing he did would be able to stop the cart from following its natural plummet.

“Idiot.”

All of the air in his chest was forced out of him.

“You could’ve told me that before I cried my eyes out. Before you dragged me into the middle of nowhere. Before I planned to almost never see you again,” Sousuke huffed painfully. “Why did you have to wait until the last possible moment..?”

Kou’s thumb gingerly wiped at the tear that threatened to fall from the creases of Sousuke’s eye. His face was almost feverish underneath Kou’s hands.

“I, -uh, guess I didn’t think that part through.”

“Naturally,” Sousuke scoffed. His voice had a broken quality to it, like a shattered flowery vase, and Kou wanted to take the pieces and glue them back together to their former beauty.

“There’s this festival tomorrow, not far from here, if you want to go with me. I meant everything that I said. I want to explore the world with you, and do stupid things together, because you’re important to me.” He paused before smirking. “Even if you can be an asshole at times.’’

“Wow, what a way to ruin the moment,” frowned Sousuke.

“I thought it was charming.”

Sousuke sighed, dejectedly. “I’m in love with an idiot."

“Hey!”

“An idiot with the lamest fashion sense-”

“Sousuke.”

Sousuke giggled as he raised his voice over his. “-And the lamest, tackiest earring ever.”

Kou rolled his eyes. Of course Sousuke wouldn’t waste an opportunity to insult him, given the chance. Kou would’ve flicked his forehead for that last comment, but his hands were preoccupied and he didn’t really feel like letting go just yet. He liked the way that his heart did little summersaults with Sousuke in them. So instead, Kou leaned forward and rested his forehead on his.

“You didn’t really give me an answer,” said Kou. “Are you gonna leaving me hanging, or what?”

Warm air swirled between them, and just like the night that he and Sousuke were underneath the stars together, Kou couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes. He could spend an eternity looking though them, and still be absolutely fascinated.

He saw the way Sousuke’s face heated up at their proximity, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. A flustered Sousuke was quickly becoming one of his favourite sights: he was almost as pink as his hair. Though if he had a mirror right now, Kou was sure that he wasn’t doing much better than him.

“I suppose it can’t be helped. You’d be completely lost like a puppy without me.” chuckled Sousuke as he tore himself away. Kou mourned the loss of his face in his hands, but that was immediately put on hold when Sousuke rested his head in the crook of Kou’s neck. The scent of his shampoo flooded his nose, and Kou resisted the urge to run his fingers through Sousuke’s fluffy hair. “What am I going to do with a hopeless idiot like you?”

“You like me.” Kou looked at him incredulously, though it was completely pointless as the boy was completely not looking at him. “So what does that say about you?”

Kou could feel the faint curves of a smile form against his neck, and, god, he wished he could stay in this moment forever, holding Sousuke in his arms, hearing his laughter and seeing his smile. Because now that he knew what it felt like to love and be loved by him, he never wanted to let go.

“Do you really like me?” Sousuke weakly murmured into his neck. “Me?”

If Kou was an artist, he’d spend his days painstakingly capturing every small detail of Sousuke’s face onto his canvases. He’d paint each hair strand, each freckle and each eyelash, just so that he could capture even the slightest fraction of his cuteness. If Kou was a poet, he’d wax countless sonnets about Sousuke, comparing him to the winter days – biting and cold at a first glance, but also mesmerising and tender.

Alas, Kou Minamoto was no artist, no good at words, and no good at thinking things through. But, he was good at following what his heart told him to do, and maybe that was just enough.

He turned his head slightly and pressed his lips softly against where Sousuke’s hair parted, preening at the way the other relaxed into it.

“Of course I do.”

* * *

Chapter Text

* * *

Both everything and nothing changed.

Sousuke was still the fashionably late boy who would whine about every little inconvenience as if it was the end of the world – the lights are too bright, there’s too many people here, everything’s so expensive. Kou rolled his eyes at the last one: Sousuke clearly had no such reservations when it came to draining his wallet.

And Kou was still the golden-haired boy who tripped over the smallest pebble, apologised for every single person he bumped shoulders with, and went out of his way to win a lion plushie for the little girl that watched them excitedly at the stall for the last ten minutes.

Even so, the world seemed brighter as they walked side by side. Sousuke happily skipped along the sandy path with the candy apple he’d begged Kou to buy for him in one hand. He took huge bites out of it as they continued around the festival, occasionally stopping to gawk at the sights.

Dozens of stalls were like up against one side of the path. Some of them were the typical food stalls that you’d see everywhere you went, while others had some interesting carnival games that Kou had never seen before. The two of them paused briefly as Kou attempted a shooting game with minimal success.

Sousuke gazed eagerly at the row of boats lined up at the edge of the lake, opposite of the stalls. His mouth was slightly ajar in fascination, which caught Kou’s attention.

“We’re coming back for that later,” said Kou as he ran his hand through his hair idly. “The last boat leaves at seven, so make sure you’ve done everything you wanted to do before then.”

Sousuke turned his head and looked at Kou coyly. “What? Is your plan to get cute, little me all alone so that you could get your way with me?” he grinned.

Kou gave him an eye roll, which only consolidated Sousuke’s teasing.

“You’re so predictable, Kou.” Sousuke laughed, chucking the finished candy apple stick into a nearby bin. A flash of pink from a stall in the distance called out for him. “Oo~, that looks like fun! Let’s go over there!”

He skipped through the crowds and Kou followed him like the lost puppy he was.

* * *

Water yo-yo. A popular game found in these types of festivals; the goal was to fish out the water balloons with a simple hook on a paper string – move too slowly and the string would disintegrate, but move too fast and it would snap.

Sousuke was crouched down at the wooden tub with a handful of the hooks in his hand, and a growing pile of broken ones at his feet. He swung another one deep into the water, and it fell apart before he could even lift it up.

“-Ugh, this is rigged.”

Kou watched him silently in amusement as another couple of broken hooks joined the pile. He smiled. “It might just be user error.”

Sousuke dramatically scoffed and shoved the remaining hooks into Kou’s hands, mumbling weak profanities underneath his breath. Kou ignored him as he crouched down beside him, weapons in hand.

It took a couple of tries, but Kou eventually found a rhythm and managed to pull out enough balloons for a medium prize.

Sousuke mumbled from behind his shoulder. “You’re oddly good at this.”

“Tiara had a personal grudge against these things the last time we went.” He pointed at the pink plush dangling above the two of them. “We were stuck at it for hours until the stall owner felt bad and just gave it to us.” Kou passed the mid-sized bunny plush to Sousuke.

The bunny would fit in with the humongous pile of other plushies in Sousuke’s room, including the one that Nene had given him. At this rate, it couldn’t really be considered a bedroom for much longer. Sousuke held it quietly in his hands, arranging the ears to flop over to one side, and was just staring at it solemnly. A stray leaf fluttered between them and landed on the ground.

“...Thank you, Kou,” he finally murmured, faint enough that Kou almost missed it. The leaf was blown to the side. Sousuke opened his mouth again, seemingly wanting to say something else, but shut it at the last moment.

For someone who usually had no filter when it came to the slightest annoyances or other people, he was oddly tongue-tied when it came towards his own feelings. Not that Kou could really blame him. It wasn’t like he was much better at it anyways – he still had a little sister that looked up to him, an older brother to catch up to, and a hundred other responsibilities that demanded his attention that he couldn’t afford to be emotional about.

Even so, he was improving. Both of them were.

Kou squeezed his hand in a silent acknowledgement. An unspoken promise that caused Sousuke to look up at him with a gentle smile.

(It’s said that people don’t remember the days in their lives; they remember the moments that made them feel alive.)

Sousuke waved the yellow card that he got given from the vendor in his hand. “They say that if you collect all seven coloured cards and tie them up at the giant oak tree, your wish will come true.”

Kou chuckled, glancing at the parade dancers going past them. “Yeah, but they make it really hard to get the last one. We basically visited every stall last time and didn’t get it.”

“I brought money too.” Sousuke looked up at him cheerily. “We could try if you’d like.”

“It’s fine, really. I don’t need one anyways,” Kou grinned so brightly that Sousuke temporarily regretted not bringing his sunglasses. “My wish has already come true.”

* * *

Above all odds, they managed to board one of the last boats that evening, with plenty of time to spare. They sat in the middle section of the boat, opposite to each other, with their legs bumping.

Maybe it would’ve been roomier if some people weren’t so freakishly tall, Sousuke had commented. Kou pointed out the fact that Sousuke himself was only a few inches shorter than him, and he simply chided him for that observation.

The boat was cast into the lake – Kou was doing most of the rowing, as they both watched gleefully at the scenery around them. They stopped slightly towards the side so that Sousuke could gawk at the herons that were camouflaged with the tall grass. The festival noises were distant now, blending in with the rustles of leaves in the wind.

A faint shutter sound caused Kou to snap his head upwards at the offender who pointed his camera at his direction.

“Got your goofy smile on camera,” smirked Sousuke, which earned him an endearing sigh from Kou as he placed the camera beside him.

Kou’s eyes met his. “You could just admit that you like taking pictures of me like a normal person.”

Sousuke stuck his tongue out as he patted the plush beside him. “Keep dreaming, lame earring boy.”

The boat bobbed gently on the water, forming mesmerising ripples on its surface that scattered away from them. In this this forever changing world, the moment between them stood oddly still. Maybe because it felt like they were in their own little world out here on the water: all of their worries and responsibilities were on solid land after all, not here.

So much had happened since the start of the project a few weeks ago. Sure, there were bad moments here and there, but the good moments far outweighed them in Kou’s opinion.

He glanced back at Sousuke, who was already staring at him. Or to be more precise, starting at his lips with the sort of intensity that made his heart jump. Kou’s ears flushed red as Sousuke looked up at him with a smirk on his face.

“This is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

Kou stared at him dumbly, his brain not catching up to his mouth. “Who’s the pervert now?”

Sousuke furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes not leaving his. “I’ll bite your tongue off if you keep on talking.”

Kou resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead focusing his attention on the boy in front of him. Seriously, did Sousuke think that he knew what he was doing? He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want it too though, and that thought practically flooded his veins with courage he didn’t know he had.

His hands moved robotically under the intensity of Sousuke’s stare; Kou awkwardly lifted the strands of hair that usually covered Sousuke’s eye and tucked them behind his ear, revealing both of his eyes. They sparked brightly under the light, like stars that were meant to burn on forever, unlike the short-lived ones in the sky.

Kou leaned forward before tentatively placing a gentle ghost of a kiss on his lips, brief enough that even he could’ve missed it.

Something within him flickered.

Pulling back with his cheeks flushed, he looked up at Sousuke, who seemed to have a less than impressed expression plastered on his face.

“That was absolutely terrible,” he said flatly.

Kou resisted the urge to tip the boat over – he couldn’t swim, and although he wasn’t sure about Sousuke, he wasn’t willing to take the risk of possibly drowning today.

“You’re so hard to please,” he ended up saying instead.

Sousuke tucked another section of hair behind his other ear. “I have high expectations.”

Kou scoffed, his face still burning red. “I’d like to see you do better.”

That seemed to shut Sousuke up for a brief moment. Kou chuckled to himself as Sousuke’s mouth twitched into various shapes, seemingly stuck in some sort of internal conflict, before narrowing his eyes at Kou as if he was a fly on the wall. Sousuke signalled for him to close his eyes, to which Kou silently obliged, secretly hoping that this wasn’t some elaborate prank to make him look like an idiot.

A nervous breath escaped him as he waited in anticipation. He felt the soft curve of Sousuke’s hand rest on his shoulder. It felt warm. Without thinking, Kou tentatively leaned forward to meet him in the middle as their lips collided.

It was awkward at first. Too much teeth and completely the wrong angle, but it felt good enough to burn. And if it felt good being together like this, was it really that bad? Like dry kindling set on fire, the feeling consumed him, growing from a small spark, into a crackling flame.

Kou titled his head slightly so that their noses weren’t bumping into each other, while Sousuke leaned impossibly closer, a stray hand tangling itself within Kou’s hair.

The faint points of Kou’s fangs dug into Sousuke’s bottom lip, and he could feel him slightly parting his mouth. A warmth vanilla scent flooded his nose, and he could taste faint hint of sweet candy apple on Sousuke’s breath; it was tantalising, addictive, like a cool glass of water on a hot summer day. Kou reached up to cup Sousuke’s face, while his other hand snaked around his neck.

Despite the evening air that enveloped them, it didn’t seen to cool down the burning sensation building within him as the tender kiss grew. Kou’s head felt like it was in the clouds – that warm, fuzzy feeling slowly turning his brain into mush and extinguishing any coherent thoughts he might’ve had.

Soon though, a sharp pain jolted through his chest. Kou tapped the back of Sousuke’s neck, signalling for them to separate for air. They pulled apart slightly and the chilling air rushed into his lungs, only partially putting out the fire.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

Kou looked at Sousuke with half-lidden eyes for a brief moment. The sight almost took all of the air in his lungs out of him again - his ponytail was starting to come loose, his lips were ever so slightly more red than when they’d started, and Sousuke was still giving him that look.

Kou was doomed from the start.

He dove back in without thinking, almost causing the boat to tip over to one side. Sousuke laughed at him melodiously, before tightly wrapping his arms around his neck.

Somewhere in the distance, a menagerie of fireworks were set off, casting their vibrant colours into the night sky.

* * *

“You owe me 500 yen, Nene.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” she groaned, already placing her money in Amane’s hand. “I basically helped you win that.”

Kou looked at them in utter disbelief. “I can’t believe you guys were betting on us. I thought we were all friends here.”

“Hey! You still owe me some peach juice from last week, Radish-senpai.” He placed his sleeved hand on her shoulder and chuckled.

“I’ll get you it tomorrow,” sighed Nene, but her wide smile gave her actual feelings away.

“I want it now though.”

Nene chided him for being a spoilt kid before making her way to the downstairs vending machine, dragging Amane along with her. Kou and Sousuke watched them in amusement.

* * *

“You’re submitting your project now?” Tsuchigomori looked up at the two of them from his desk. Their finished project was sitting on the desk opposite of their teacher, accompanied by a small box that held the small trinkets they had collected on the way. “This is surprising for you, Minamoto. I usually have to chase you down for your classwork.”

“It’s only because I helped him,” commented Sousuke as he looked at the stack of papers Tsuchigomori was surrounded with in mild disgust.

Kou swiftly nudged him with the back of his hand. “I do my work on time! Why are you two ganging up on me now?!”

Sousuke nudged him back. “Yeah, sure you do. You spend most of your time in class catching up on sleep.”

Tsuchigomori glanced at the two of them inquisitively. “Are you two finally getting along now?”

Kou’s head snapped towards him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Their teacher simply swivelled his chair around to face away from them, placing a hand up in the air. “Whatever. It’s time for you two to scram – your friends are outside, right? I have papers to mark.”

* * *

The strong smell of coffee and baked goods surrounded them as another rush of customers made their way to the front counter. It was good that they managed to get a seat here when they did – it was surprisingly busy for a weekday. Sousuke pulled out the giant certificate out of his bag – ‘FIRST PLACE’ written big and bold.

“Ta-dah~! Neat, right?” Sousuke beamed. He placed it down on the table and swirled his drink. “I was worried that they’d hate it. -I mean, it wasn’t like the picture was bad, it’s physically impossible for it to be bad if I took it. It’s just that...” Sousuke looked up to meet Kou’s eyes. “It’s easier for pictures of people to win after all.”

“You deserved it. Really.” Kou smiled. “No one else takes pictures like you.”

“That’s because you don’t know any other photographers.” Sousuke took a big sip of his drink but Kou could see the growing smile that he was trying to mask.

“What was the picture of anyways?” Kou asked innocently, turning his plate.

Sousuke glanced at him, something bubbling within his eyes. “Want to take a guess?”

Kou narrowed his eyes at him. “It could’ve been anything. You take pictures all of the time, and you carry that camera everywhere.” Kou picked up his cream puff. “At least give me a hint.”

Sousuke pretended to think aloud, his finger tapping the side of his chin as he dragged out his words. “Well~, I guess you could say that you helped me in a way.”

Kou bit into the cream puff and some of the whipped cream clung onto his upper lip. “I did? Really?! But I don’t remember doing anything special.”

Sousuke chuckled and licked his finger, before swiping it across the cream on Kou’s lip. Kou stilled, like a deer in headlights.

“Some things never change,” Sousuke sighed longingly, while licking the cream remnants off his finger.

* * *

A flock of sparrows flew overhead, as the sun shone brightly in the sky with not a single cloud in sight.

“This is the last picture, I can feel it!”

“You’ve said that for the last twenty minutes, Sousuke.” Satou groaned, fanning his face with his hand. It was futile – a bead of sweat ran down the side of his face. Yokoo wiped it off with the back of his hand.

“That was then, and this is now!” Sousuke retorted, adjusting the tripod height. He pointed at them. “If anyone moves this time, they’ll be the ones carrying all of my equipment back.”

Kou raised an eyebrow. “Surely I get a pass? I carried all of it here.”

“No exceptions.” Sousuke stuck his tongue out. He clicked the camera button, and the countdown slowly began ticking down. “Get ready!”

“Hurry, hurry~!” Yokoo giggled, already striking a pose as Sousuke dashed towards the group and slotted himself on the edge beside Kou.

(The log could barely fit three people, so how on earth the four of them managed to squeeze onto it, was a mystery for another day.)

Sousuke tentatively placed a hand on Kou’s shoulder and Kou instinctively wrapped his arm around him. Out of the corner of Kou’s eye, he saw that Sousuke shot him a small smile before looking up at the camera.

He was glad that fate brought them together.

Snap!

* * *