Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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Doh Kyungsoo is just trying to bake a cake. 

The video is too loud, but that is exactly how Kyungsoo expects it to be. The colours take over the screen, and a humorous and childish animation shows two very muscular individuals fighting each other until both fall to the ring floor with their distorted limbs forming the acronym MMA, and new letters appear. 

MMALPHA! 

The most conventionally attractive alpha Kyungsoo has ever seen in his life appears. Is this AI? He mouths to Eunseok, frowning. Baekhyun snaps his fingers in front of Kyungsoo’s face. Pay attention. 

The alpha holds a microphone. 

“Good evening, MMA lovers.” She smiles, her silver eyeshadow matching her very revealing top. “Karina here with another edition of MMALPHAS, our best viewership version. Are you guys ready to see Real Alphas doing what Nature taught us to do?” 

“Ah, it’s one of those shows,” Minseok says distractedly, removing his apron as he moves behind the table. “Are you guys into Trad Omega content as well?”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun complains, still holding the tablet like it’s a trophy. While the MC is giving crucial information about the fight, Kwangsoo rushes inside, scaring the poor interns in his way. 

“Is it yesterday’s fight?” He slaps his face, dramatic as always. “I thought I would be the first to show it to Kyungsoo!”

“Shhhh,” Baekhyun glares, and it’s hilarious considering that Kwangsoo owns the bakery (and therefore the kitchen), but Baekhyun doesn’t even work there. He’s a good customer, though. Tips well. 

The camera’s focus leaves the pretty girl and frames two spots on a stage, smashed between tables with distressed and serious-looking men and women. Everything is black or neon red, and Kyungsoo yawns, thinking that this is the most Alpha thing after that “fending in the forest” show that used to trend everywhere. 

“Oh, yes, Karina, today is the male alpha fight. Are you all ready to see our monsters?” Now, a shirtless young man walks in, glowing with body oil. Is he the MC or the fighter? Is this porn? Eunseok shakes his head. No.  

Kyungsoo sighs. 

“Baekhyun, I got work to do--” 

“It is a five-minute video, Kyungsoo-ah. You’ll survive.” 

The interns seem curious too. It’s a slow day for them, after all. They have a couple of things in the oven and some on display. 

Kyungsoo blinks. 

A very familiar figure steps on the stage, soon taking the designated spot on the left. 

“And tonight we’ll witness our veteran fighting a much younger fighter!” Shirtless MC screams suddenly, and the audience mimics him. “Welcome to Tiger Fighter, our big wall, our celebrated champion Park Chanyeol!”

All eyes are on Kyungsoo.

“I thought he stopped fighting a long time ago.” Kwangsoo leans in, way too close to Kyungsoo as always. “I remember he was working with social media, right? You told us something like that.” 

Kyungsoo frowns. Yes, Kwangsoo is right. Chanyeol only fought for a few years, mostly to feed his ego. What he loved was an audience, but he turned out to be a great fighter. 

“Why did he stop again?” Kwangsoo inquires. 

“Too many bruises. It was messing with his tattoos.” 

It was a very Chanyeol thing: starting to fight to prove he could and then leaving because of aesthetic reasons. Kyungsoo watches him getting in and out of hobbies, jobs or, as he would call, his eras. He remembers Chanyeol changing their apartment’s interior designer every few months to match his new era or. Maybe out of boredom.

The audience is cheering loudly. Chanyeol is smiling, and his untamed dyed curls are too long. Based on the full sponsored look, they won’t fight now--they’ll probably change, and Chanyeol definitely needs to tie that nest he calls his hair. 

“His opponent is our undefeated champion, the wildest deer, the youngest fighter to win our championship three consecutive times.” The shirtless MC walks to the other side, facing a man who seems as tall as Chanyeol, but not quite as buff. “It’s Sungchan!” 

The audience cheers loudly, and Kyungsoo dares to think it’s much louder. He gulps, feeling that awful feeling of anxiousness again. Shit, he hated the Chanyeol fighting phase--era. Why the hell has he gone back to that? 

Chanyeol and Sungchan move closer, and their faces are inches apart. Everyone knows what’s coming next: insults and promises of violence. Kyungsoo wants to look away, but he can’t--there’s a reason why Baekhyun wants him to watch that. 

“Is there something you want to say to your adversary?” Mc shirtless asks Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol’s face contorts in an evil, too familiar, kind of snark. It's as cocky as he is. 

“Gotta ask this little boy who gave him a nickname of sorts… a deer?” He scoffs, and the crowd is enjoying every second. “Do they know what tigers do to little big-eyed deer like you?” 

Sungchan doesn’t move. He seems less of a showman than Chanyeol is. The Mc rushes to shove the microphone on the other fighter’s face, and Sungchan responds with a sly smile. 

“Oh, I know what tigers can do. Unfortunately, to catch a deer, they need to be fast and strong. All I see is a geriatric big cat,” he says oddly politely. 

The crowd cheers, and Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol will freak out. 

And he does. 

“You little bitch!” He invades Sungchan’s personal space, pressing the tip of their noses together, since the other man refuses to step back. “I’ll teach you not to speak to veterans like that.” 

Oh. Damn. Kyungsoo is getting it. 

“Don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll treat you well in the retirement home I’ll send you to after kicking your ass live. ” Sungchan fully smiles, enjoying every syllable that comes out of his mouth. 

Well, it’s just for show, anyway. 

The MC walks in between them, breaking a potential, mostly fictional, fight apart. 

“Let’s lighten up the mood,” he says casually as if he wanted things to be different. “Is that my pal, Karina?”

The other MC, the hot girl, walks onto the stage carrying a beautiful golden belt. There were a couple of those in Chanyeol’s room, so Kyungsoo knows how nice they are. She stands in front of the three males, and well, she’s clearly an alpha too because they don’t even bat an eye, and then she turns to the audience and enjoys the cheers. 

MC shirtless points the mike at her. 

“Isn’t that gorgeous?” She screams, holding the belt high above her head. That’s a hell of an alpha strength. 

The crowd agrees. She turns to the camera, which slowly focuses on her face. 

“I wonder if our MMALPHAS fighters have a good reason that they think they should be the owner of our golden belt.” She winks after she says it, making sure to follow the usual routine. 

Now, the atmosphere will be different. Both fighters will be given their microphones to make sure they thank their sponsors, trainers, staff and families.  That’s the only part Kyungsoo never skipped, even if he wasn’t always mentioned (for good). He knows he won’t be mentioned this time.

Chanyeol speaks first, and again, his overflowing charisma is still his biggest weapon. 

“Ah, I guess I’m getting this belt to myself since I deserve it. I’m my own trainer and sponsor these days.” He giggles happily - it’s a flex. “But I have to thank my real sponsor, ALPHADRINKS, the people who support me, like my mom, dad and sister, and my best friend Sehun, who came today to watch my fight.” 

The camera pans to Sehun. Predictably covered with dark clothes, a hoodie and a cap, he feigns happiness for 0.5 seconds before reverting to his resting bitchface. 

“That’s great!” Karina can’t help but snort. “How about you, Sungchan?”

“I often thank my good sponsors, my supportive family and friends and my amazing trainer,” He says seriously, then, out of nowhere, his threatening aura dissolves into a blushing teenage vibe. “But, uhm, today I want to shout out to my omega, could I?” 

The cameraman struggles to find the person, but when he does, the crowd cheers.  It’s showing a smiling man in trendy clothes and a cute white beanie holding a fansign. THAT’S MY CHAMPION! , it says, displaying a cute picture of Sungchan surrounded by hearts.

“Is that him?” MC shirtless asks. 

“Yeah, hum, that’s my, hm, that’s my Shotaro,” Sungchan says, giggling for a moment before getting serious again. “He… I don’t always mention him and that. Hum. He’s my biggest supporter, and we have been happily mated for five years. Today he was very busy in his home country, but he took a flight and ran here just to watch the fight and give me strength.” 

There’s a loud “oooowww” that feels a bit too emotional to be in this cheap show made for people (alphas) that crave nothing but senseless violence. 

“That’s very sweet.” Karina pouts, and she sounds sincere. “Could someone give the mike to Shotaro-san so he can share a few words with us?” 

The poor filming crew has to reach the corner of the audience in seconds. The omega in question is definitely taller than them, seemingly a big man under his soft clothes, but his face is overly cute and feminine. He’s one of the most common omega mate types among celebrities’ partners: the modern, stylish one. Some pretend to be a more traditional partner, tiny omegas that look quite lovable and shy, but both were variations of the same role, which was to be a trophy mate. 

“Do you have encouraging words for your Alpha tonight?” 

The editing team does the job well, and the camera parts in two, showing the live reaction of Sungchan as his mate says:

“Ah, Sungchannie, such a hard horker! You’ll always be the winner of my heart,” he says fluently, and he looks slightly shy for a moment when the audience hits him with another “awwwn” cheer, but then he seems to shake it off. “But if you’re the winner tonight, then you get this belt and another prize at home.” 

He winks after it for maximum effect. It works. The audience goes crazy. 

Yup. Crappy violent and slightly pornographic show for Alphas checklist completed. 

While Sungchan is smiling eye to eye, the shirtless MC pops up next to a blank-faced Chanyeol. This is a viral moment and the perfect time for another great clash between competitors. 

“Ah, what a moving scene,” he says, pouting. “I wonder what our veteran Tiger Fighter would say at that…” 

Well. Kyungsoo starts to sweat. Who knows what will come out of Chanyeol’s mouth at this point… 

The camera is focused on his face completely, and Chanyeol glances at the MC, glances at Sungchan, seems unsure for a second and then opens his mouth. Kyungsoo can only imagine how it felt to be watching it live, because right now, in the kitchen, everyone is on the edge of their seats. Even Kwangsoo, who pretty much already knows the outcome, is holding Kyungsoo’s arm like he’s about to jump on the poor tablet. 

But Chanyeol says nothing. He doesn’t even open his mouth; with his eyes wet and his face red, he swallows hard and turns back. The cameraman takes a moment to understand what is going on and redirects the focus to a running Chanyeol disappearing from the stage. 

The MC and the other fight seem equally confused. A low voice says Where is he going and the video ends. 

3 million views. Not many likes. 

“From last night?” One of the interns asks.  

“Yes.” Baekhyun sighs heavily. “From last night.” 

“It’s all over the news. The livestream broke their viewership record after that--I guess everyone thought he would come back.” 

“So he didn’t come back,” Kyungsoo finally breaks his silence. 

“Nobody said anything about that yet, but the fight has been postponed indefinitely.” Baekhyun shrugs, scrolling to the comments. “Sehun said he left the town this morning.” 

“Why didn’t you go there?” Kyungsoo frowns. 

“To that kind of fight?” Baekhyun snorts, his soft brown hair falling on his eyes. “I’d never. Also, I was working last night. I’m a singer, Kyungsoo.”

“Aren’t you the one who should be there, Kyungsoo?” Kwangsoo inquires with his serious tone. Unlike Kyungsoo, he hasn’t moved on (he’s a romantic). 

“Okay, that’s enough.” He stands and claps three times. “Back to work. We’re not in the lunch break yet.” 

The interns get the hint and disperse like startled puppies. Kwangsoo stands, as if he's not the bakery owner , and bows quickly. 

“Sorry! I’ll go back to my tasks!” 

Kyungsoo wants to kick him, but that’s a habit. 

Baekhyun remains seated, scrolling on his tablet peacefully. 

“You don’t belong in this kitchen,” Kyungsoo warns him. “I’ll drop you out in a trashcan.”

Baekhyun looks up and down, and Kyungsoo knows that his clothes are designer and too expensive to be touching trash. 

“Ah, Kyungsoo,” he complains. “You know why I’m here, right?”

“To annoy me.” 

“I don’t have to go anywhere to do that.” 

“That’s… true.” 

Baekheyun leans on the chair and gets oddly serious. 

“You have to talk to him.” 

“Why? You’re his best friend.” 

“He has a thousand best friends. We all know who he listens to--actually. I guess you know why he acted like that.” 

“Do I?” 

“I have a feeling you do.” 

Kyungsoo licks his lips and cracks his neck. 

“Chanyeol is no longer an issue I have to deal with.” 

“That’s… a terrible thing to say.” Baekhyun frowns. “I’m… concerned. Didn’t you promise that you'd always be friends?” 

“Not close friends. Friendly. Nice to each other.” 

“You’re not being nice to him right now.”

“Baekhyun, get out of my kitchen. I have cakes to bake.” Kyungsoo shoos him away, rocking the chair frantically. 

Somehow, the fool listens, standing up and dusting off his immaculate shirt. 

“Well, I tried.” 

Kyungsoo repeats, go go go, but he knows whatever plan his best friend has in mind is already completed. He has planted a seed into Kyungsoo’s mind, and now it’s just a matter of time. 

The thing is… Kyungsoo is like bread. He needs time to process things, to grow and get ready. He enjoys, actually, waiting, which was a problem when he was a kid, but as he grew up, it became an unstoppable trait. Nobody knows how to wait those days, jumping to the next thing, running against the clock and consuming everything so fast. Not Kyungsoo. He waits. 

He has a birthday cake to finish baking and mating ceremony cupcakes to decorate, so he goes on. 

He moves between the tables and sets the space to add some toppings. He wants to add a few layers before decorating - for a birthday cake, it’s nice to be slightly taller. Kyungsoo is not a big fan of small cakes for parties; after all, cakes are meant to be shared. 

He is not a great fan of cakes, which is hilarious, he knows, but after years of cooking in fancy restaurants and their terrifying kitchens, the idea of a slow and selective bakery managed by one of his closest friends was the best option he could hope for. Kwangsoo is an okay cook, but he’s not the most talented in the kitchen. He deals with things Kyungsoo hates: casual business matters, bureaucracy and marketing. 

Kyungsoo gets to be the leader of the bakers and interns, though he tends to leave the bakers alone most of the time to do the biggest orders. He ends up like a mama duck guiding the interns around. 

The cake is blue. Not Navy, a very Kyungsoo colour, but baby blue, like the walls of Chanyeol’s beach house. 

Oh, Kyungsoo realizes. He’s there. In Jeju. 

He couldn’t have travelled to Japan without being caught at the airport. He probably went to Busan and then took the ferry. Nobody knows about that place but his inner circle.  

Kyungsoo goes back to his tasks. He takes the cakes from the fridge, eyes trained for details as he makes sure that the new layer fits perfectly on the top of the cake. As he’s selecting the ingredients to decorate it, Eunseok walks in and stands by the door. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t turn back. 

“Do you have something to do?” 

“No,” the younger man answers promptly. 

“I did not request help. Go see the bakers.” 

“They sent me to you.” 

Kyungsoo sighs. 

“Fine. Help me with the cakes, then. Don't stand there like a ghost.”

Eunseok nods, but he still seems unsure. He holds everything Kyungsoo gives to him with a little delay - even if the intern is naturally slow, it's obvious he's hesitating. 

Kyungsoo looks up at him. Eunseok is a tall guy, always with hair on his forehead, thick glasses and cheeks that somehow are rosy as if he applied blush. He didn’t, of course. He's a beta who is painfully introverted and doesn’t seem to have any vanity or wish to impress. 

“What?” Kyungsoo asks. “What is bothering you?” 

He takes a deep breath, his big eyes even bigger behind the glasses, moving like he’s considering something. 

“I know it’s none of my business,” he says quietly. “But why did Baekhyun-hyung force us… you to watch that fight?” 

Kyungsoo closes the cabinet door and stares. 

“Well, you shouldn’t overthink Baekhyun's actions. He's a bit… different.” Kyungsoo nods to no one. “Order the ingredients and get the letter cutters, please. Forget those people, you don’t know them anyway.”

Eunseok frowns.

“I do.”

“Do you know Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asks as if it's not a huge possibility, considering how friendly and outgoing Chanyeol is. 

“No. Sungchan is one of my best friends. We're high school buddies… I've known him for the past eight years,” Eunseok answers simply. “Shotaro-hyung is a friend too.” 

Kyungsoo wasn't expecting this answer. 

“Oh.” He blinks, confused. “Hm. That's… great. It has nothing to do with them, I'm sure.” 

Eunseok is still frozen in place. He's very good at not moving. Kyungsoo is very stubborn and also very good at the whole freezing game, but they have things to do. 

“Chanyeol is a close friend of ours,” he explains. “That’s all.” 

Eunseok nods slowly and then goes back to his tasks. Kyungsoo feels bad about lying, but he’s not sure if he wants to open up to his interns, out of all people. 

He grabs the pink paste. 

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They had pink cards in the company. Kyungsoo escaped them a couple of times, telling the scout that he already had a part-time job. The scout told him they paid better, but Kyungsoo wasn't sure. I want to be a real actor , he said. This is real acting , the scout retorted. 

Actually, Kyungsoo wanted to be a baker. He had a part-time job, after all, but everyone wanted him to be an actor, a singer, anything more ambitious. So he convinced himself he wanted to be all those things, too. All at the same time. 

Chanyeol wasn't the first person Kyungsoo met at the company. He met several faces that he can't barely remember, and he worked with other voice actors as well. Women, men, old, young, even foreigners. Everyone was really discreet at work, allowing only basic conversation and fun, superficial topics. It wasn't polite to disclose your status, but, well. Sometimes it was kind of obvious. 

Chanyeol was working with the musicians when he approached Kyungsoo for the first time. He was exactly the same. Tall, loud, clumsy, charming, emotional and surprisingly intelligent.

“You’re very scary,” he told Kyungsoo. “Why are you looking at me that way? I don't want problems.” 

“I don't mean to. I forgot my glasses at home,” Kyungsoo explained. 

“Ok, let’s go get them.” 

And just like that, he stood up and shook his car keys. He was serious. It was their first conversation. 

Chanyeol was a hard person to resist. He wasn’t very handsome back then, with his protuberant ears and eyes and skinny, lanky body, but Kyungsoo wasn’t exactly a drama lead either. He looked like he had just entered high school. 

Kyungsoo sat on the passenger side that winter day and answered a hundred questions. Yes, I’m a voice actor. I’m nineteen. My birthday is near. I like food. Yes, food. Of course, I like music. Ballads. Yes. I like her too. 

Chanyeol spoke about himself so easily. He was careless and hit his hand on the wheel when his phone rang. 

“It's the pill alarm,” he explained. 

Kyungsoo didn't take pills, but he was familiar with the concept. Chanyeol, clearly an alpha, was on suppressants. 

He took his pills at Kyungsoo's house, sitting on the couch. His expensive square car was outside, and Kyungsoo offered to pay for gas. 

Chanyeol was offended. 

“We're friends now!”

And he was right.

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Kyungsoo finishes the first cake, and he feels tired. It's a mix of back pain and fatigue that he often mistakes for anything but old age. He's not old, of course. He's thirty-three and he's very active, yet not as much as he could be now that his body is no longer in its prime, it's quite obvious. 

He takes the stairs even with the pain in his knees and finds Kwangsoo on the phone, laughing loudly. Outside, the cooks are smoking and talking, and Kyungsoo is trying hard to stop smoking, so he takes the opposite way and turns onto another street. It's 20 past three on a beautiful spring day, with people walking around and talking loudly. He stops by a flower show to buy some gum, just to keep his mouth busy without a vape to distract him. 

The place is owned by an older, beautiful lady who always smiles with her eyes, and Kyungsoo knows she's a beta. He’s not the kind of person who only associates with people like him, but there is some peace in being around betas like him. 

He looks at the flowers on the walls, which appear to be made of wood, but they're just a wallpaper design. 

The balcony is beautifully decorated, and she's singing. 

“Good afternoon, Tiffany-noona,” he announces, walking in. 

“Oh, you.” She turns back and smiles, her straight hair tied in a perfect bun. “I was wondering if you would show up today, Kyungsoo-ya.” 

He needs to leave the bakery and wander sometimes. He needs to move. A few years ago, he would be riding his beloved bike, but well. The knees and the back pain. So.

“Gums and chocolate?” She asks cutely. Her apron says, 'A flower a day keeps the ugly away.' In English, of course. She's an American, he's aware. 

“Yeah, the usual.” He puts his hands in his pockets. 

“Ah, slow day at the bakery?” 

“Well. Not many clients are interested in eating outside… a lot of orders are through food delivery apps,” Kyungsoo sighs, suddenly charmed by a beautiful pink and red bouquet in the corner. He often looks at blue and yellow flowers because they match his personality better. 

“Ah, I see.” She nods. “Spring has arrived. Give them a couple of days, and I’m sure it’ll be crowded again.”

Chanyeol always said he was terrible at advertising himself. Not that he was remotely wrong, but most people would look like that next to the human advertising that Chanyeol is. Well, at least Kwangsoo takes care of that. 

“Do you send the flowers somewhere outside the city?”

“It depends. Where exactly?”

Two people walking in, greeting them. Kyungsoo bows distractedly, and Tiffany smiles and waves. By default, he steps back and allows the pair to choose and buy the flowers and the cards they want. It takes fifteen minutes, and the whole time Kyungsoo observes what they point to, what interests them. Pink cards, heart-shaped, sweet perfume. 

As soon as they leave, he turns to her. 

“Jeju-do.”

“Jeju-do…” She sighs deeply. “I can’t send it, but I have a friend who lives there who could help you with it.”

He nods, rubbing his jeans. 

“Did someone pass away?” She asks with a respectful tone.

Kyungsoo widens his eyes, shocked. 

“No.”

“A graduation party? Family? I need to know the occasion,” she continues, not moving. “I’m pretty sure you don’t know a thing about flowers, anyway.”

Kyungsoo blinks several times and looks around before saying, 

“It’s for a lover.”

It’s her time to widen her eyes. 

“Oh… okay.” She shakes her head and then giggles. 

“Is it weird?”

“No, no, not at all. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why?”

“Well.” She walks around the counter, pen and a tiny notebook in her hands. “You don’t strike me as a romantic guy. I mean, not the type to send flowers. No offense.”

“None taken,” Kyungsoo mumbles. 

He remembers, too vividly, Chanyeol standing at the front of the glass wall that showed the sea, wearing an expensive matching top-and-pants combo that he had bought in a beachwear store a day before, posing as if it were a sad movie with his big hands against the glass. If I don’t plan anything romantic, you never do it. Kyungsoo was sitting down, jeans and plaid, tired after having to take the ferry, a taxi and then climbing the hill by himself. I baked you a cake. And he brought it from Seoul. You bake cakes for a living, Chanyeol complained. In the end, he ate the whole thing, of course, because Kyungsoo may not be into performative romanticism, but hell, he knows his partner well. 

Ex. Ex partner. 

“Is it a celebration? Anniversary?” She asks, ready to write down something as if Kyungsoo is in a therapy session. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know the answer to that. He feels vaguely responsible for the public breakdown of an ex because he knows that he is somehow the cause of that. He spent years refusing to publicly support Chanyeol’s confusing side gigs and incredibly unpredictable hobbies, despite the latter begging him to do so. Kyungsoo was building two careers at the same time, working his ass off, so the musings of a spoiled rich guy who had way too many interests wasn’t his priority. 

Here’s Chanyeol’s voice again. You date your job, so you can’t date me. There was always a pout involved. 

“Kyungsoo…?”

He blinks twice.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at me in silence for a few minutes,” she answers, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I don’t know the occasion. I just feel like sending something.”

“Oh, so it’s like a spontaneous thing?” She seems impressed. “Oh my, you’re a box of surprises, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t correct her. He can’t explain how deep this situation is, of course. 

“I think I made them sad,” Kyungsoo says simply. Maybe it’s going to help. 

“So you’re apologizing?”

“I haven’t done anything wrong…”

Maybe. There’s a lot of space to interpret them. Another person walks in, an old lady with tons of paper bags. Tiffany leans over the counter, getting close before she whispers. 

“Then why don’t you deliver the flowers in person ?”

“It’s in Jeju-do. A bit far.”

She pouts in a cute way. 

“Even better, don’t you think so? Such a romantic gesture… just showing up may change their mood.”

Well, she has a point. A real good point. However, it makes no sense since they’re no longer together.

“What if they don’t let me in?”

“Carry a sound box over your head playing love songs until they open the door.”

He won’t, but he can sing. 

“I’ll think about that. I’ll get back here if it’s a yes.” He cracks his neck, releasing the tension. 

“I’ll wait.” She winks. 

Kyungsoo pays for his usual items and leaves. The way back to work feels longer, colder and lonelier. 

He won’t do it. He has cakes to bake. People to feed. 

The memory of Chanyeol’s face getting red and his eyes teary comes back, and he sighs. We are no longer together, he whispers, and his body trembles with the urge to smoke. He opens the pack of gum, puts a couple in his mouth and chews slowly. It’s been six months since they broke up, and life is peaceful, almost boring. It was a hard breakup, painful even. They had spent so many years together as friends and lovers and had been through so much. 

Kyungsoo walks back to the bakery and greets everyone on the way. 

He walks into the kitchen and finds Eunseok still there, working, his hair hidden inside the disposable bouffant cap as he washes the dishes. He’s quiet and diligent. A beta. 

Being a beta is not being, they say, but Kyungsoo knows better. Being a beta is not having to perform anything, actually. Kyungsoo could be any damn thing or nothing at all, as long as he doesn’t overshadow alphas and omegas in their designated categories. He will never be the provider or the caretaker, so he can be anything else. 

“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo announces. 

Eunseok turns to him, confused, staring behind the glasses. 

“For what?”

“You’ve been promoted for the next days.” Kyungsoo takes his apron, which hangs on the door, and throws it at the other man. 

Eunseok catches it but doesn’t say anything.

“I’ll warn Kwangsoo you’ll be in command until I come back.”

He turns back to leave. 

“Will I get more money?” Eunseok asks. 

“Not as much as you think you will.” Kyungsoo leaves the kitchen. 

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KYUNGSOO: He is in Jeju, right?

SEHUN: Location: Humiliation Island, pity party city, sad street

KYUNGSOO: Is this a yes?

SEHUN: Yeah. 

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Chanyeol had places all around the world. 

Not many, but definitely enough to count on both hands. Kyungsoo had come from a working-class family, and the idea of a teenager like him owning apartments was surreal. He knew some people had money, but he didn’t know them personally. Chanyeol’s family wasn’t rich rich but they all were obsessed with having their own business and making more money. Besides, Chanyeol’s sister was on TV, which the whole family thought was just a regular job. They don’t pay me well, she told Kyungsoo once, and he knew in the bottom of his heart that she was getting - at least - thrice his salary. 

He bought the Jeju-do beach house when they started dating, mostly because he thought Kyungsoo would love it. It’s a big house and it’s quiet and calm, he explained. 

It was a trap. He wanted them to live together. 

It would never work out, after all. Chanyeol could never stay in one place only, and Kyungsoo wouldn’t live in any other place but Seoul. Not that he wanted to, but the best restaurants were in the biggest city, of course. Kyungsoo is not chasing a Michelin star yet, but he wants to make some money. But Chanyeol had those crazy ideas that he swore would fix everything. He even kept the house a secret as if anonymity would make it more appealing to Kyungsoo (it did make it more appealing, he won't lie). 

Kyungsoo takes the elevator (the knees) and leans on the mirror, thinking about what he is going to do. He has never skipped work, not even when he was sick, except maybe when he twisted his ankle, but that wasn’t a big thing back then, since he was working with his voice. It was just a couple of days, and then a lot of chairs and puffs to make sure he wouldn’t stand for too long.

It’s Friday already, eighteen past midnight, when he gets home with plastic bags and a new pair of sandals. He lost track of the time doing grocery shopping, and he took the long way home. He just loves the streets at night, loves existing in peace. 

Talking about Chanyeol is never linear. Somehow, it’s hard to remember that Kyungsoo lived nineteen whole years without his very loud presence. And it’s being quiet again. 

Kyungsoo is hungry, but he’s flying in the morning, and he feels too lazy after such an emotional day. He doesn’t make sudden decisions; it’s against his nature. 

He opens the door to no one. 

Shoes by the door, keys and wallet on the table, bags on the counter. The light is stronger in the kitchen, since he needed it when he bought it; his pre-LASIK eyes needed all the help they could get. Now, too much light bothers him. After everything is in the right place, he takes the sandals and goes to his room. 

Dark blue carpet, cream closet, wooden bed. Kungsoo is navy. Chanyeol is too many colors like a rainbow. He opens his closet and chooses a pair of plaids and jeans, one white tee, a few good socks, soft pants and good underwear. The bag is on the bed as he folds one by one, absently. 

Do you love me? Chanyeol asked when they were in Paris. Kyungsoo thought it was obvious. 

The love changed. When they were in their early twenties, it was bright yellow like their friendship. When they started dating in their mid-twenties, it was dark red like wine. After a couple of years, it turned a lucky green, a pretty pink, a pale blue, an off white, almost fading. It went from a sunny day to a warm night and then died before dawn. And now Kyungsoo is packing to see him again and wondering which colour it’ll be this time.

His sleep is black. He has no dreams or nightmares, and he’s startled when the alarm rings before his usual time to get up. 

The sea is blue. He forgot how much he liked to travel, mostly because he only worked for work or was dragged by Chanyeol. He sits under an umbrella and stares at the clear sky, enjoying the fact that it’s not too cold or too hot. Once they were freezing in Chile and then burning in L.A., and all the times they went to Hawaii and Japan seemed the perfect weather. Some places are simply a better fit. 

Jeju-Do is green and stony. The arrival is loud, so he waits until everyone else leaves, being the last one to step onto the Island. It’s not the final destination, because he needs to hail a cab to Hyeopjae beach; usually, he rents a car, but he’s sure Chanyeol has a car with him, so.

The house is beautiful, and Kyungsoo somehow misses the summers they spent there - it’s a small place with two floors. The entry is a black box with black-framed glass walls, a balcony on top and an outdoor dining area right on the side with a table and chairs. Inside, on the lower floor, a living room with a couch and a TV and then the kitchen; on the top floor, a baby blue bedroom, a bathroom and a spacious balcony. There is a grill and so many windows and glass walls; therefore, installing curtains immediately was a necessity. 

Kyungsoo’s taxi stops right in front of it, and he leaves with his only backpack and new sunglasses. Chanyeol’s car is parked next to it, the same Mercedes-Benz that he has been driving since 2016. Kyungsoo pays the cab driver and sighs loudly. The things he does for--

Chanyeol opens the front door. 

His eyes are wide, and he's gaping comically. His hair is now dyed almost white and short, and he’s dressed in black from head to toe, including the very impractical Adidas flip-flops he loves to wear. 

“The fuck you’re doing here,” he asks, his finger pointing at Kyungsoo like he has just seen a ghost. 

“Boo,” Kyungsoo warns and he prepares to run. Chanyeol backs down, of course, scared. 

Kyungsoo runs. Chanyeol closes the glass door very quickly, the sound assaulting their ears, and holds it tight. Kyungsoo hits the door, not with his full body, but with both hands. 

“Let me in!”

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Chapter Text

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It’s a bit hard to admit, mostly because Chanyeol is such an authentic man, but his taste has been shaped by Kyungsoo's in many ways. 

Now, as he cooks in the kitchen, he uses the pans he bought for Kyungsoo. The kitchen cloth has a cute sleepy penguin drawing on it, and the knives were something Kyungsoo bought himself. The interior design is all Chanyeol’s because hell, he has a degree to flex, and Kyungsoo knows nothing about houses. Chanyeol got them an apartment in Seoul, and they had a good run there, a couple of solid years of Kyungsoo frowning at every piece Chanyeol bought (or maybe the gifts too). 

And he’s cooking Abura Soba because Kyungsoo got extremely obsessed with it one time and made them take two separate trips to Japan only to eat it. So Chanyeol learned how to cook it too. Chanyeol could cook anything he wanted to, but in the end, he was never as enthusiastic about food as Kyungsoo was. 

“You can drop the knife now,” Chanyeol says, walking away from the stove for a second. “You’re already in.”

It’s such a beautiful day. Chanyeol wanted to read and then walk on the beach. He’s not a big fan of spending time alone unless he has a goal - working or studying - but he is in need of some reflection after embarrassing himself in a livestream and becoming a national joke. Maybe international, who knows? He’s not checking social media since then. 

And somehow his plans were interrupted by his ex, who not only appeared out of nowhere in his beach house but also threatened him with a kitchen knife. 

“I was going to open the door, not stab you,” Kyungsoo says. 

“Then put the knife down.” 

Kyungsoo sighs. He slams the knife on the table and raises his hands. He’s pissed at Chanyeol, who knows why. 

“Do you have juice?”

“Orange juice and some soda. Plenty of beer.”

Kyungsoo opens the fridge and takes a look at it. 

“Juice,” he repeats. He’s going to set the table carefully for them, and Chanyeol just needs to finish cooking. 

“I’m on a vegetarian diet, so I only got tofu and mushrooms.”

“Diet for what?”

“Fighting.”

“Well, it didn’t work out, did it?” 

Chanyeol turns back, offended. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem affected. He’s not even being mean, he’s just dry like that sometimes. 

“It did. I’m in great shape.”

“Then why didn’t you fight?”

Chanyeol goes back to frying the tofu. It’s all that’s left before he starts assembling the ingredients. There’s a line of little bowls ready since the morning with vegetables and onion, and garlic chips. 

“Why are you here?” Chanyeol asks instead of answering. Why is he being interrogated by Kyungsoo when the baker himself left him and the house months ago? 

“I need a break.”

Chanyeol turns back slowly. Perhaps the whole process of dying his head blonde burned his head more than he thought. 

“You? You need a break?”

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo shrugs. 

“The fuck. This is scarier than the knife.”

“The tofu.”

Chanyeol gets startled, drops the hashi and has to get them back to make sure he’s not going to burn the tofu and get scolded. Kyungsoo likes it well-cooked but not burnt. 

“People have been asking for delivery a lot,” Kyungsoo says. “Most customers come to get their bread early, so they’re putting me in charge of the cakes. I’ve finished the orders for the weekend, and I’m sure the interns can handle any surprises.”

“I thought you loved baking cakes.”

“I do. Kwangsoo’s bakery doesn’t do mass production, though. Five cakes a day, mostly.”

“Why?”

“Well, they’re very detailed and really expensive.”

“Do you still like working there?”

“It pays well.”

“So you don’t.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, you didn’t say you liked it.”

“It doesn’t mean that I don’t. It means I work there because of the money. It’s my primary motivation.” Kyungsoo sits down and stares at him. His hair is longer, and god, it shines. Chanyeol has never seen his hair that long - he remembers when Kyungsoo shaved it because ‘it was too hot’ and ‘he was sweating a lot’.

“Why are you staring at me like that? That tofu is burning.” Kyungsoo picks up the knife again and raises it to point like a finger. 

Chanyeoul gasps, turning his focus back to his task. He’s able to save some, but he knows he’ll be eating the burnt tofu anyway. The day outside is warming, but Chanyol knows it’ll rain at night. In his mind, he prepares the next menu even if he hasn’t finished the current food. 

“Do you need help?” 

“No,” Chanyeol mumbles. He starts to make the actual dish, finding the right place for each element calmly, until he realizes that Kyungsoo, of all people, is the one eating the food and loses his pace. 

There’s no manual when it comes to love. Twelve years and counting, Chanyeol still gets nervous when Kyungsoo is staring at him, just like when they were nineteen and naive. Now it’s much worse, he concludes, because he knows exactly what Kyungsoo is thinking about. They couldn’t be more different people, and, except for some special interests, everything they think and do goes in different ways in the end. 

He serves both of them and waits. 

“Sit down,” Kyungsoo says. 

“The knife,” Chanyeol points out. 

Kyungsoo keeps his poker face on as he raises the knife and extends it to Chanyeol, who grabs it fast, afraid of a sudden move, but in the end, nothing happens. The knife ends on the sink as it was designed to be.

Chanyeol pulls the chair and sits. 

Now that’s a familiar sight. Kyungsoo and a plate of food. It would be just another date--It would. They’re not dating anymore, and sure hell they aren’t going out as friends since then. 

Kyungsoo is the first to start eating. He must be hungry. Chanyeol waits for his reaction first.

The baker’s face turns into a frown, as if he’s in pain. 

What a relief. He loved it. Chanyeol starts to eat too. 

“It’s very good.” Kyungsoo nods and then deep sighs. He’s not lying. 

“Maybe you’re just too hungry.”

“Shut up!”

Chanyeol smiles. 

“Why didn’t you fight?” Kyungsoo asks again. Of course, he does. 

“Can I, at least, finish my meal before you start with the questions? I’m also on a break.”

“Break from what? Which of your jobs, gigs, passions or whatever you call them?”

“All of them.”

“For how long? I have to be back in the bakery soon, so I don’t get as much time as you do.”

“I don’t know. I have to think, and it’s hard when you keep asking me questions nonstop.”

They stare at each other. Some things never change, do they? Chanyeol stands up and walks out of the kitchen; he knows Kyungsoo will not stop eating to follow him. Dating Kyungsoo is accepting food would always come first. He stops in front of his cool turntable, one of his few beloved possessions he brought from home, and chooses a nice vinyl. 

If there’s something that they have in common, the biggest thing is music. Chanyeol puts on the vinyl and waits for the song to start before returning to his seat. 

Light jazz. Kyungsoo hums while munching, another sign of approval - with that, they eat in silence. It’s the perfect experience after all. It hurts Chanyeol that he missed that so badly, just being in the presence of Kyungsoo and enjoying the things they both appreciate. Existing next to him. 

He swallows his noodles to avoid getting too emotional and not getting scolded for crying in the middle of a meal (it wouldn’t be the first time). 

Kyungsoo must be hungry because he finishes first, which is not the usual. The baker wipes his mouth with his hands - Chanyeol finds his not-so-polite behaviour kind of hot - and sighs heavily. 

“At any moment, Minseok-hyung will find out that I left, and I put an intern that is probably a decade younger than him in charge,” he announces. “So maybe I’ll be dead if I don’t return soon. Who knows.”

Chanyeol slurps his noodles apprehensively.

“Why didn’t you fight that night?” Kyungsoo asks. 

No answer. Chanyeol looks down. 

“One of us has to work, and we both know it’s me, so please hurry,” Kyungsoo insists. 

“Do you resent me for not having to work all the time? I have passive income. Is that a crime?”

“I don’t--what?”

“Or do you still resent me for having a family that could support me financially?” Chanyeol frowns. “I thought we had worked that out in couples therapy that--”

Kyungsoo stands up. 

“I didn’t come here to fix our past relationship, Chanyeol,” he says calmly. “I came here because I watched you back down from a fight for the first time in my life, and I need to know why.”

He’s not talking only about a fight, Chanyeol realizes. Kyungsoo is worried. 

“Why?” The alpha asks. “What for?”

“Can you please answer my question first?”

“Okay!” Chanyeol grabs the napkin, rubs it in his mouth and then throws it on the table. “Tell me why you need to know it so bad, and I'll tell you why.”

“I’m curious.”

“Curious?” 

“Yes.”

“Is that all?”

Kyungsoo puts both hands on the table and leans in. 

“I’m also worried.”

“About me?” Chanyeol blinks slowly, heart racing. He’s nothing but an idiot. 

Kyungsoo stares at him, munching. He doesn’t look a day over twenty-five, that asshole. Meanwhile, Chanyeol was called a geriatric big cat, only for a whole crowd to laugh about it. 

“What are you cooking for dinner?” Kyungsoo asks. “Or should I cook something?”

Chanyeol gulps. 

“Are you really staying the night?”

“Obviously. I said so. Also, you refuse to answer a simple question, so I figure I’ll have to stay until you do.”

Kyungsoo walks to the counter and leans on it, crossing his arms. His eyes gaze at the sight behind the window, the clear sky and the empty road as if he hasn’t seen those things a million times. From the room balcony, it’s possible to see the beach, and Chanyeol misses the lazy morning they would spend in bed, only leaving to eat and spend time at the balcony in awe of the sea. 

“I’ll do the dishes,” Kyungsoo announces suddenly. “Make a bed on the couch for me.”

And there goes Chanyeol's humble dreams. 

“Let me finish my food,” he complains, hiding the sound of his heart breaking. At this point, it’s shocking he’s still able to feel something after his heart has been crushed a few times. Well, Chanyeol is a Sagittarius, and he has a lot of hope and very little self-preservation. 

“What are you doing around here at all? I haven’t seen your notebook around.”

“I’m here to think, I told you.”

“You’re hiding,” Kyungsoo spits. “Why didn’t you fight?”

“I’m having indigestion already,” Chanyeol complains with a full mouth, raising both hands. “Leave me alone for a second, I’m begging you.”

“Fine.” Kyungsoo nods. 

The baker walks out of the kitchen like nothing happened. Chanyeol finishes his meal, relaxing slowly as he finally understands that Kyungsoo is back. He’s back, right there, poking Chanyeol’s new furniture like it’s an alien. The same Kyungsoo who broke up with him (actually, for the second time, if Chanyeol counts the summer trip when Kyungsoo kicked him out of the hotel room in Japan because Chanyeol had eaten all the ice cream they bought) and gave back his keys, saying they would be just friends. 

But he’s somehow back on his own. And Chanyeol is a hopeful fool who wanted that badly. 

“Done,” he announces, leaving the table. 

Kyungsoo comes back, now focused. His fragrance remains the same as Diptyque's, the same one Chanyeol bought and placed on his shelf of perfumes, though he prefers his Acqua di Parma ones. It’s nice. 

Chanyeol gifts himself one second to sniff the air and then begins the humiliating ritual of setting up a separate bed for the same person he used to share a bed with. He chooses the thin layers, a few but not many pillows and makes his big couch look like a real twin bed. When he finishes it, Kyungsoo is no longer in the kitchen. He may be slow for most things, but he’s fast when it comes to doing the dishes, with his looooong experience. Thinking about doing one thing forever makes Chanyeol feel dizzy, but Kyungsoo and cooking are an unbreakable bond. 

Chanyeol finds his ex crouched over the half-dead garden, staring at the plants like it’s a TV show. His big eyes are now narrowing, analyzing what is in front of him. 

“What are you doing now?” Chanyeol asks. 

“Gotta fix this garden,” Kyungsoo answers absently. “How long since you took care of it?”

“The neighbours water it when I’m not here.”

“How long, then?”

“I’ve not been here since we broke up.”

Chanyeol drops the big word. He’s just not the kind of man who runs from a fight-- wait. 

“I think I can fix it. Where do you keep the gardening tools?”

Chanyeol blinks several times. 

“Cabinets under the sink. The fuck are you doing, Kyungsoo? Did you come here to do my chores?”

“I came here to get an answer, and you’re refusing to give me it, so I’m being productive instead.” Kyungsoo stands up and dusts off his jeans. “The soil is not great. I’m going to use organic waste from the trash can and do my best to feed those poor plants.”

And he turns back, ignoring Chanyeol completely. 

“Well, I’m going to the beach! I have thinking to do!”

“Go. I am not stopping you.” Kyungsoo raises a hand, but doesn’t look back. 

Chanyeol stomps his way out of the other man's sighs, and he wants to run to the beach, jump in the water and cool his mind, yet at the same time, he has missed Kyungsoo so much that leaving him again feels like a waste of time. Because of that, he decides to only walk to the nearby beach and sit on the rocks for a while. 

His mind is racing, and so is his heart.

The beach is not full. It’s not summer yet, and it’s still chill and quiet in the middle of the day. Chanyeol takes the flip-flops, putting them next to his as he walks on the sand. The sea is so blue and clear, even with the low tide, as he sinks his feet in the wet sand and breathes deeply, exhaling unsaid feelings. 

He simply doesn’t know what comes next. It’s a new thing, something he hasn’t experienced before, that he didn’t even know was possible to feel. Not him, a guy full of plans! He has many countries he hasn’t visited yet, many hobbies he hasn’t tried yet, and so many experiences he could be reaching--but now he’s unfocused. He’s distracted. Unmotivated. Lost, even. 

Chanyeol is not a fan of quietness, so even the shy sound of the sea is a perfect companion for a while. He calms down slowly, mirroring the sun's gradual weakening as it goes down. Being in nature helps Chanyeol; it calms him as a good song would. 

Before the sun disappears on the horizon, he goes back home. It doesn’t take a lot of time, of course, but the few hours felt like an eternity. Coming to his house, empty for so many months, and finding it with the fancy lights on, a good smell coming from the wide-open windows, the garden looking nice and clean and shoes on the door. It’s darkening, it’s cold, and the big bubble-shaped lights are hanging outside while a song is playing as he walks through the door, and for a second, life feels like a dream. Kyungsoo is in the kitchen, the lights are on, and Chanyeol can see him walking around focusedly. 

Nature gave Chanyeol many traits; however, subtlety wasn’t one of them. As soon as he closes the door, not as quietly as he would like, Kyungsoo’s face appears by the door. 

“Don’t sit on the couch, it’s my bed,” he warns. “Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes.”

“Do you ever stop thinking about food?” Chanyeol wonders out loud. 

“No,” Kyungsoo answers from the kitchen. 

Chanyeol looks at the table undone and empty. 

“Could we eat outside?”

“I guess so,” Kyungsoo’s voice echoed. He used to be an all-or-nothing kind of man, but since he reached his big age of thirty-something, he now uses the words guess and maybe. Chanyeol misses the drastic tone sometimes. 

Chanyeol decides it’s his duty to set the table and protect the kitchenware from the winds and bugs. The thing about loving nature is that you have to accept you won’t have a garden without the insects - they’re not just a part of it, they’re the reason the garden is alive. The beach is great, and the animals live there, so you have to live with them as well if you want to appreciate the view. 

The song now is one of the boring American musicians that Kyungsoo likes, the ones who are only voice and guitar singing about love and mundane things. Not to be an alpha, but since he is, where’s the drama? Where is the thrilling part? 

Kyungsoo comes out with a huge pan, and even if it’s protected, the smell is delicious. He places it in the center of the wooden table where Chanyeol put the trivet mat and then wipes his face over the glasses. It’s a familiar view. 

“Don’t even try to eat, it’s still burning hot,” he mumbles. 

“Soup?” Chanyeol asks.

“Yeah.”

“Can I change the song?”

“What’s wrong with this one?”

“Too calm.”

“It’s getting dark, and you’re in a beach house. It sounds fitting to me.”

“I’m not asking to listen to heavy metal, you know. I’m talking about something… hm… spicier.”

Kyungsoo, who is calmly taking off his apron, stares at him with a raised eyebrow. Chanyeol rubs his hair, nervous. 

“Not like spicy spicy. I mean, not like old white men's music.”

Kyungsoo nods and walks away, going back inside. Chanyeol sits down and looks at the clean sky, feeling the wind on his face. The genre shifts easily, and now it’s back to the ‘00s R&B that Kyungsoo always loved. Chanyeol had forgotten about those vinyls already. 

Kyungsoo comes back, and he doesn’t even ask before sitting down and taking his seat with his phone in hand. Chanyeol tries to serve himself and gets surprised with a: 

“Eeeh?” Kyungsoo interrupts him with a slap on his wrist. 

“What?” Chanyeol pouts unconsciously. 

“Wash your hands first,” he complains. 

Chanyeol sighs. There goes his freedom to be dirty and careless. He stands up and walks inside, stomping his way with an anger that vanishes when he realizes that the house is clean and perfumed like the older days. Chanyeol is not a messy person, but lately, he doesn’t have the energy or motivation to tidy up. 

He comes back, and Kyungsoo is waiting for him to eat. As soon as Chanyeol sits, he starts blowing his bowl of soup. 

Chanyeol finally makes a bowl and, well, it’s still too hot, and he has burned his mouth enough times in his life due to his lack of self-control. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Kyungsoo.

They stare at each other. Kyungsoo hasn’t aged; he never fucking ages, Chanyeol thinks, except he becomes manlier, as if he’s becoming a man and not just old. Chanyeol gets bigger. It’s a thing. 

Kyungsoo has a hell of a stare. Geez. 

“Stop,” Chanyeol begs, covering his face with a hand. 

“I’m not doing anything.” 

Chanyeol sighs and looks away. The soup smells delicious, and yet, he’s not in a hurry anymore. 

Kyungsoo leans in to blow again. 

“He had already won,” Chanyeol said. 

“What?” Kyungsoo looks up. 

“He had already won the fight.”

The baker goes back to his position, blinking slowly. 

“Is he better than you?”

“At fighting?” Chanyeol shrugs. “I mean, I’m definitely bigger and stronger, but he has been a fighter full-time for longer, he’s more technically trained than I am, and he’s younger. I don’t think he’s much better. I just think he had a small advantage, maybe.”

“Then, why did you agree to fight?”

“Because it’s a challenge, of course. What’s the fun in fighting a weak opponent?”

Kyungsoo makes that annoying noise again.

“Then why didn’t you fight?”

“He had won, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol lets out a shaky breath. “He had the audience, the title and a partner cheering for him. His omega was there just to wave a ridiculous sign at him--I bribed my best friend to come just to cheer me!”

Kyungsoo is expressionless. Of fucking course. 

“So you’re blaming me and Sehun?” He asks. “Is that so?”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but slap himself several times out of frustration. 

“The fuck I’m blaming you for, Kyungsoo. This is about me feeling like a fucking loser. No belt is going to give me the things I want. That's what I mean.”

Kyungsoo’s furrowed eyebrows are cute and deadly. 

“You’re not a loser. You’ve never been a loser a single day in your life,” he spits. 

“I’m not a loser.” Chanyeol snorts. “But that fight was already lost, even if I had won.”

Chanyeol grabs his bowl and drinks his hot soup out of embarrassment. It’s painful to say it out loud. It’s painful to admit that what he really wanted was not to win, not to hear clapping, nor to get a prize. He wanted Kyungsoo there. He wanted Kyungsoo back.

It starts to rain.

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Chapter Text

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The specific sound of heavy rain haunts them as they do the dishes. It’s not unusual for them to be silent sometimes, and that time when Chanyeol got really sick and had throat surgery imposed a habit of quietude that the fighter didn’t have before. Kyungsoo used to sit next to him, cook, clean, watch movies, and play video games, no word needed. If it wasn’t for that, Chanyeol would’ve gone crazy. 

Now, they’re exhausted, both of them. Kyungsoo can only think of going to “bed” and sleeping without worrying about time. He often wakes up early, but maybe he’ll oversleep this time. Chanyeol feels drained, his eyelids heavy as he dries the dishes. 

“The breakfast is on you,” Kyungsoo says suddenly. 

“No…” Chanyeol pouts. “You’re a baker.”

“A baker on a break.”

Chanyeol nods, yawning. 

“You’re right, breakfast is on me.”

After they finish the last chore of the day, Chanyeol heads up to the top floor. He doesn’t know what to say to his ex-boyfriend, who’s getting ready to sleep as well. 

“Hm, sleep tight,” he tries. “See you tomorrow?”

“Well, I hope so,” Kyungsoo grunts, crouching like the old man he is at heart. Chanyeol doesn’t know what is going on; he’s so sleepy that he has to drag himself to bed. The memory of Kyungsoo downstairs hits him, and he uses whatever strength he has left to wash his body and mouth before falling on the bed again. 

He wakes up earlier than expected. The beach house is the perfect place to sleep, you see, mostly because there’s no city noise, the air is clear, and everything feels natural. When Chanyeol is in the city, he complains, then he jumps out of the bed, rushing and rushing. Now, he stares at the ceiling. 

“Gotta make breakfast,” he mumbles. 

Downstairs, Kyungsoo has gotten up already. His baker's instinct doesn’t allow him to sleep much more than his normal work time, and a chill runs down his spine when he realizes it’s day already, but then he remembers he’s on a break somehow. Life is weird. He opens the front door and feels the chill wind on his face, the odd smell of sea salt and home. 

Not his home anymore. It used to be. 

He rubs his sandals on the floor and hears Chanyeol stomping down the stairs. As always, he’s barely covered, wearing black Calvin Klein underwear and a loose designer white shirt. 

“Morning,” Kyungsoo says. 

Chanyeol gets startled and almost falls. Predictable. 

“The hell,” he grunts, hands on his chest. “Forgot you were there.”

Kyungsoo struggles to understand certain things, even though he has been around Chanyeol for a significant portion of his life. He’s going to cook breakfast with a shirt that costs more than a couple of hundred dollars (they were measured in dollars), which is actually an okay thing compared to that time he found out how much was spent in a vase and a chair (the price of a house; the other clients had to listen to their bickering for five minutes). It’s a branding thing that he really can’t connect to. 

Kyungsoo stretches and sits on the floor. He performs his morning routine of exercises, and from time to time, he catches Chanyeol cooking, messy hair, underwear and overpriced shirts like he used to do months ago. There is no escape, Kyungsoo thinks. No escape from the beach house, from this easy old way, from Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol is clueless as he cooks pancakes and scrambled eggs, mostly because he's been watching tons of American superhero movies, feeling weirdly nostalgic. Yes, dumb action movies are his comfort watch, yes, they’re dumb, yes, yes, yes. He’s not slightly ashamed. They are adventurous but safe. There’s a happy ending waiting for him, no matter how much damage is in the path. 

He tries to make his food aesthetically pleasing. He tries so hard, he tries all the damn time. Back to the food, Chanyeol thinks. He puts the maple syrup on the table and decides they need to drink some matcha. The table looks chaotic, but culturally diverse, and he knows at least that will please Kyungsoo. 

“Breakfast is ready,” he announces. 

Kyungsoo comes fast, he’s always fast when it’s about food. He must be hungry, because he doesn’t inspect the place, and he doesn’t ask questions. He sits and eats. 

Chanyel puts the juicebox on the table, sits parallel to the other man and takes a deep breath. 

“Do you feel like we’ve already peaked?”

Kyungsoo freezes, his hand holding the pancakes like a (egg) taco. He looks up, his eyes big, cold and judgmental in such a kind, soft face, and his old navy shirt all wrinkled. 

“What do you mean?”

“You know how some people peak in high school or like college, and they never grow out of it.” Chanyeol gestures lazily. 

“I… don’t know that. I’ve attended an online college,” Kyungsoo mumbles. 

“It’s not--It’s not important to be in college to know that. It’s just… those people that never outgrow a really good phase in their lives, that’s what I said.”

“We were losers in high school. I’m sure college wasn’t the best experience for us both as well,” Kyungsoo says and then bites his taco-pancake. 

“I just feel like I won’t ever be happier than when I was twenty-two,” Chanyeol confesses. “When I could drink my ass off and then work and then study and then go around having fun and having a ton of friends and then--”

“Just do it again.”

“It won’t work.”

“Why?”

“It doesn’t feel the same. It’s like a bad reboot of a classic movie.”

“Ah.” Kyungsoo nods. He’s good with movie references. Chanyeol asks himself why he didn’t think of using this before. They both love movies. 

Chanyeol eats in silence for a whole minute. That’s a lot.

“Do you think you’ve peaked?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t believe in that. My life is not a business or a trend. Life is just life. Some days are bad, some days are good.”

“Of course you’d think like that, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo is almost finishing the pancake; he must be hungry.

“You’re just struggling to accept you’re getting older. You’re almost thirty-four, Chanyeol. You’re not dying, you’re simply getting older. Get used to it.”

Chanyeol cracks his neck, stressed out. 

“Just because I’m getting older doesn’t mean I need to have a boring life.”

“Well, if having fun requires you to have the stamina of a twenty-two-year-old, I have bad news for you.”

“It’s very easy for you to say that when you’ve been ninety your whole life.”

“We’ve spent our twenties together. I wasn’t boring back then, was I?”

“No, because you had me to make your life cool and fun!”

Kyungsoo stares at him, munching slowly. It’s hard to admit Chanyeol is right and he won’t, of course, but not because he’s stubborn, but because he just figured out a very important thing. 

“Is that the reason you wanted to fight a guy who’s ten years younger than you?”

Chanyeol opens his mouth and then rolls his eyes back. 

“Stop psychoanalyzing me. It was just a dumb fight.”

Kyungsoo gets up to get another round of pancakes and eggs. 

“If it were only a dumb fight, none of us would be here,” he says absently. He’s probably tired of bickering. Without passion and sex, they are just a really old married couple who kind of love each other but still fight about every single thing. 

“I’m going to the beach after breakfast,” Chanyeol says. His Sagittarius instincts tell him he’s being cornered again. 

“Great. I will join you.”

“I didn't invite you.” 

“Then what are you going to do? It's the beach. Anyone can go there.” 

Chanyeol makes a loud, annoying noise. Kyungsoo snorts. 

“You stress me out.” 

“So do you.” 

They stare at each other. 

“Fine. I'll drive then.” Chanyeol forks a pancake and puts a whole piece in his mouth. 

"Fine.”

They finish their meal in silence. It's raining outside, a soft rain that seems to never stop.

“I'll do the dishes,” Kyungsoo whispers. 

“Why did you watch the fight?” Chanyoel asks suddenly, realizing. “You never like them to start with.”

“Baekhyun made me watch it.”

“Ah.” 

“It's different now, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo asks. “The host and the whole vibe, it's… hm. I'm not sure.” 

“The new generation is taking over it,” Chanyeol says. “Everyone is so cool and hip. Remember my hair and clothes when I first started?”

“You looked absolutely ridiculous.” Kyungsoo snorts. 

Chanyeol can't help but laugh too. He cringes when he thinks about it. 

“The pancakes are good. It's been a while since I had an American breakfast. I miss bacon, though.” 

“We could eat out in a restaurant today. There are a few restaurants around here,” Chanyeol suggests. “You can have meat there.”

“Why are you still following a diet if you won’t fight anymore?”

“I didn’t say I won’t fight anymore,” Chanyeol says in between loud chewing. “I’m still figuring out stuff.”

Kyungsoo stares. Chanyeol braces himself. 

“What’s that?” Kyungsoo asks. “It’s about to rain.”

“I’ll get the car,” Chanyeol sighs in relief. “Don’t worry.”

Chanyeol puts clothes on very consciously that now that he’ll eat out, he can, maybe, be spotted by someone and recognized. He changes his outfit about seven times, which is not a sacred or number or anything; he was simply stopped before the eighth change by Kyungsoo knocking on the door. 

“I washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, changed, and you’re still there? Do you have diarrhea or something?”

God, Kyungsoo is as delicate as a bulldozer.  

“I’m ready,” Chanyeol says, resigned. Levi’s pants, white Calvin Klein shirt and underwear, black Louis Vuitton coat and shoes, and a rather discreet Vivienne Westwood necklace. He opens the door to find Kyungsoo in a full black outfit (generic brand, probably) and that ragged Vans he has owned since 2016. 

“You frustrate me on so many levels.” Chanyeol sighs. 

Kyungsoo stares, confused. 

“Let’s go,” Chanyeol says, giving up, leaving the room. He grabs the keys and runs to gets in the car, waiting until Kyungsoo is comfortable and safe (and dry because he took an umbrella) to start the engine. 

As always, Kyungsoo controls the radio station. His fingers click on the buttons repeatedly until he finds a station that plays modern pop music. You’d think someone like him was into classics, but he’s not. 

“Where is that place we used to eat a lot of lamen for a good price?”

“You want to go there? I was expecting to go to a high-end restaurant.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. We can cook basic lamen at home. Didn’t you want meat? We can go to a barbecue.”

“How about your diet?”

Chanyeol sighs deeply. 

“Well, it’s only one meal.”

Kyungsoo reaches for his knee and presses it gently as if he’s encouraging the other man. For the first time since Kyungsoo arrived, Chanyeol is relaxed. No, no. It’s the first time since Kyungsoo left him that Chanyeol is relaxed. He looks at the horizon, watches the road near the beach, the other houses, mostly empty, and drives as a sweet pop song plays on the radio. 

CHAPTER 3.5

THE WALLS OF THE HOUSE DO NOT TALK, BUT OH BOY, THE INTERNET SURE DOES TALK A LOT!

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r/allaboutfighting

all4guy - 4 days ago

The$guyatthestore

Senior mmalpha fighter Park Chanyeol seems to have abandoned yesterday’s fight for real. 

So yesterday I was working late so I didn’t have the time to actually attend the fight so I sold my tickets for a good price yet I’m a big fan of our Tiger and I really wanted to watch so I went to the bathroom to check on my phone and I was kind of appalled that he gave up for real. Like, until today I was sure this was like a stunt or like, a prank, but it seems like he really walked away from the fight. what do you guys think about it? 

redglovs (mod) no, for real, it seems like the guy left. I also thought it was like a publicity stunt, but the show confirmed it wasn’t staged. They haven’t spoken about rescheduling another fight so I guess it was serious…

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sweatbloodtears Man, I was there and shit went down… it was no joke. I’ve never seen something like that before, kinda entertaining if you think about it

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greyarea no offense but it was sketchy to set up a retired fighter with an undefeated current winner OUT OF NOWHERE. I still believe it can be a stunt. The whole thing sounded so insane, I mean, it has been YEARS since pcy fought and then he was yeah I’m back let’s go with no sponsors backing him up
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• answers

mmasn maybe he’s getting publicity to lauch a rap career. he wouldn’t be the first…

b100 ‘I mean, it has been YEARS since pcy fought and then he was yeah I’m back let’s go with no sponsors backing him up’ that’s him bro… he’s crazy like that

[EXCLUSIVE] THE NEW CEO OF PARK CHANYEOL’S COMPANY ‘ALPHADRINKS’ CONFIRMS THAT THE MATCH WAS CANCELLED AFTER THE FIGHTER ABRUTLY QUIT BEFORE THE FIGHT

MMA Fighter Park Chanyeol created a viral moment after quitting before a live match.

 

Last Thursday, MMALPHA’s live show caused an internet furor after one fighter quit on the spot. Park Chanyeol, 33, also known as Tiger Fighter, a three-time golden belt winner (2016, 2017, 2018) returned to the ring, breaking a seven-year hiatus. Chanyeol is currently an entrepreneur and interior designer, considered to be retired from MMA since his last match in October 2018, when he beat Bunny Prince and won his third and golden belt. He surprised fans by announcing a match against the current golden belt winner Jung Sungchan, known as Buff Deer, who is currently undefeated. 

The live show, which had millions of viewers, was interrupted twenty-two minutes after Park Chanyol left the stage running. Some speculated that it was a stunt, since Park used to be performative in his matches. This was debunked by MMALPHA's legal representative. He informed the fans they'll be refunded for the tickets and that the match wasn't rescheduled yet. Despite the little hope given by the announcement, when asked about the possible future match, the CEO who replaced Chanyeol in ALPHADRINKS, Oh Sehun, denied there was any type of negotiation. Chanyeol’s agent refused to talk about the subject and only said that Chanyeol wants to take a break from the media at the moment. 

@fightingkitty [closed]

1 august 2020

why no mma fighter will ever surpass tiger figther’s legacy of HAVING FUN… a thread so you guys never forget him now that he’s probably retired for real and I’m tired of waiting 

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@fightingkitty [closed]

1 august 2020

I’ll start saying that I’ll keep this account on since I have hope he’ll come back one day he’s still quite young and some of his businesses seem too fragile (not shady) to pursue. 

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@fightingkitty [closed]

1 august 2020

I'd like to remind everyone that even if TF lost several matches at the beginning of 2016, he was able to finish that year in first place. He was probably the most charismatic fighter we had since The Amazing Min Ho. 

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@fightingkitty [closed]

1 august 2020

He won three consecutive belts, even though he got that weird surgery and the leg injury in 2017. He also donated part of his prizes to charity, the total sum being around 1 million dollars. And the most important: he never backed down from a fight. 

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@fightingkitty [closed]

31 may 2025

this thread aged like milk lol 

Rumors

MMA FIGHTER IS GOING THROUGH A TERRIBLE BREAK-UP

Posted by shadybtch pts  3 hours ago  11,980 views

Sponsors are fuming after a fighter walked out of a show without warning anyone beforehand. It’s all over the news and it’s not a marketing stunt yet. The producers are enjoying being the talk of the town, that’s for sure. What nobody seems to know is that the fighter in question is just having an existential crisis after breaking up with a long-term partner. 

shsn-12 it’s park chanyeol 🔍︎ no need to hide the name, everybody knows about it

hyejo the only surprising part about this is that he had a long-term partner, he gives me playboy vibes

dontaskme i think he’s just a chicken yk… breakup my ass

ttt  why there is so many blind items about mma? is it big now?

hyejo which other items? what did I miss???

ttt they deleted one about a fighter having a secret kid from a teenage pregnancy or sumthing like that

trollolol he deserved lol enough with this loser can you give me baekhyun tea? 

osh I had bet money on the other guy, I lost my dollars