Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jack hears an unexpected knock on the door around half nine in the evening.

It’s not late by any means, but Jack’s already in for the night, so he’s surprised when he opens the door to a smiling Alex holding a bottle of wine.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” He asks, stepping aside to let Alex in. Alex shrugs.

“I was bored, so I came to see if you wanted to hang out.” He sits down on the sofa, placing the wine on the small coffee table before unscrewing it.

“Oh, so you’re only here ‘cause you had nothing better to do?” Jack teases, and Alex huffs softly.

“Yeah, I mean if I’m seeking your company then you know I’ve gotta be real bored,” Alex retorts, and Jack laughs, grabbing two water glasses from the desk and placing them on the table beside the bottle before dropping down to sit beside Alex. “Drinking in style. I like it,” Alex says, gesturing to the glasses before filling them both up a little. Jack picks one up, taking a sip and pulling a face.

“Well, that’s… that sure is wine,” he says, laughing.

“Yeah, it was, like, five dollars. I wasn’t expecting it to be good,” Alex chuckles. Jack shrugs. 

“It’s fine. Doesn’t matter, I’m just happy to have company,” he responds, smiling warmly.

“So, how come you’re not out with the others?” Alex asks, changing the subject.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Jack retorts with a sly smile.

“Touché.” Alex takes another sip of wine, grimacing slightly and putting the glass down. “This sucks. Let’s raid the minibar,” he mutters, getting up and making a beeline for the small fridge beneath the desk. “Holy shit, that is a winner,” he comments, pulling an unopened bottle of vodka out of the minibar.

“That’s ‘cause that’s not from the hotel,” Jack responds with a soft laugh. “I bought it yesterday.”

“Oh, well, let’s see if we can find something else,” Alex says softly, putting the bottle back.

“No, it’s okay. Now is as good a time as any,” Jack says.

“Sure you don’t mind if we open it?” Alex asks, and Jack nods encouragingly.

“No, go ahead – besides, it’s better than me drinking it all on my own,” he says with a chuckle, and Alex brings the bottle back over to the coffee table, passing it to Jack as he sits down.

“Got anything to mix it with or are we just gonna drink it straight from the bottle like the alcoholics we are?”

“I say we rawdog it,” Jack answers, opening the bottle and taking a surprisingly large mouthful.

“Such eloquent language,” Alex quips, taking the bottle back from Jack and taking a sip himself. He immediately grimaces, the liquid almost burning his throat. “We are gonna regret this tomorrow,” he mutters.

“That’s a problem for later,” Jack says with a grin, and Alex chuckles, shrugging.

“Fair enough, I guess,” he says. “So, you never answered my question.”

“Which one?”

“Why did you decide to stay in tonight instead of going out with the others?” Alex asks. Jack shrugs slightly, contemplating his response.

“I don’t know. Just felt like a night in, I guess,” he says. “We’ve been out almost every night so far. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break from drinking all night.”

“You clearly took that very seriously,” Alex points out, gesturing his head towards the bottle sitting on the coffee table between them. Jack snorts softly.

“Well, you’re the one who turned up here. I’m just being a good friend,” Jack jokes. Alex huffs out a soft laugh, although he doesn’t return it.

“I wasn’t, like, ambushing your quiet evening, was I?” Alex asks instead.

“What? No,” Jack responds almost immediately. “I just meant I wanted a quiet evening away from bars. But you’re always an exception to that, or whatever.” Jack blushes as soon as the words leave his mouth, immediately feeling self-conscious, and he looks down. Alex just smiles, however, moving closer to Jack and briefly caressing his knee with his knuckle. His hand retreats as quickly as it got there, though, and Jack notices its loss immediately.

“Well, I’m always happy to be your exception,” Alex says, and Jack laughs, unable to keep the large grin from spreading across his face. Alex mirrors his smile and gently brushes a stray piece of hair out of Jack’s face, making Jack melt a little inside. Alex’s gaze quickly darts down to Jack’s mouth before coming back up to his eyes. Jack exhales shakily as they slowly close the gap, and suddenly their lips are softly pressing together.

Jack sighs into it, wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist and pulling him closer. Alex’s arms wind around Jack’s neck, and he deepens the kiss.

“Wait, what are we doing?” Alex asks softly, pulling away just slightly. Jack opens his eyes, gazing deeply into Alex’s.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to,” Jack whispers against Alex’s lips. Alex hesitates for a second before pressing his lips back against Jack’s, their mouths moving together slowly and rhythmically.

They break apart only for a moment as they stand up from the sofa before they’re heatedly making out again, and Jack wraps his arms back around Alex’s waist and holds him tightly, hands resting just above Alex’s ass cheeks.

They make their way over to the bed, and Alex gently pushes Jack back down onto it, straddling his waist as they continue kissing passionately. He grinds his hips down against Jack’s and moans softly, before reaching his hand between Jack’s thighs and rubbing his crotch through his jeans. Jack shudders out a sigh, but Alex removes his hand suddenly, pulling away and sitting up a little.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” He asks, resting his hand softly on the side of Jack’s face. Jack nods vigorously.

“Absolutely,” Jack murmurs. “Like I said – it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.” He blindly reaches for the waistband of Alex’s jeans, grabbing a hold of its button. “Can I?” He asks, looking Alex deep in the eyes.

“God, please do,” he responds, and Jack wastes no time in undoing Alex’s jeans, shoving them down his thighs. Alex lifts himself up for a moment to remove them the rest of the way, discarding them on the floor, before reciprocating the action, unbuttoning and removing Jack’s jeans. He reaches a hand into Jack’s boxers and runs a gentle finger over his clit, making his hips jerk upwards. “You’re so wet,” Alex whispers dirtily, and the words turn Jack on ever more, and he pulls Alex back into a kiss as Alex’s fingers continue to make their way around Jack’s clit, circling and rubbing.

Jack quickly removes his shirt, and once he’s shirtless, Alex removes his boxers gently, leaving Jack fully exposed and suddenly slightly self-conscious.

“You’re beautiful,” Alex murmurs, making Jack’s heart tug, and the insecurity disappears as quickly as it came.

Jack blushes a little. “Nothing you haven’t seen before,” he mutters, looking away sheepishly.

“But it’s different this time,” Alex responds softly, leaning back down and pressing a gentle, chaste kiss onto Jack’s lips that makes Jack melt, and he has to remind himself that they both agreed that this doesn’t mean anything.

Alex sits back upright and parts Jack’s legs slightly, sitting on his knees in between them. Jack adjusts himself slightly, sitting up a little and spreading his legs wider to give Alex better access.

“Can I?” Alex murmurs, looking Jack in the eye. Jack nods.

“Fuck yeah,” he breathes, and Alex leans down and tentatively runs his tongue over Jack’s clit, making his hips jerk forward slightly. “Oh fuck,” Jack murmurs, and Alex takes that as a sign to continue, circling the tip of his tongue around the sensitive area. Jack moans softly, tilting his head back into the pillow as his whole body goes rigid.

Alex carefully presses two fingers against Jack’s entrance, pushing them in gently and making Jack gasp deeply. He thrusts them in and out slowly as his tongue continues to circle around Jack’s clit, and the double sensation has Jack sweating and twitching.

Suddenly, Alex bends his fingers slightly and massages Jack’s G-spot gently, making Jack squeeze his thighs together.

“Fuck- wait, stop. I’m gonna cum,” he mutters, sitting up. Alex smirks, removing his fingers and sitting upright.

“Didn’t know I was that good,” he murmurs, kissing Jack softly again. Jack huffs out a laugh.

“Oh, please, you must’ve known,” he retorts. “You don’t get that good at giving head for no one to tell you how good you are.” Alex smirks again but doesn’t respond. “Now, please, just fuck me,” Jack adds. Wordlessly, Alex removes his own t-shirt and boxers, stroking his neglected cock a couple of times and releasing a quiet sigh at the contact, before getting up and retrieving his jeans from the floor, searching through his pockets.

“Wait, fuck, I don’t have a condom,” he says. “You got one anywhere?”

“No, but it’s okay – I’m on birth control,” Jack responds. Alex considers this for a second before shrugging, dropping his jeans back on the floor and climbing back onto the bed. Jack repositions himself, lying down and spreading his legs wide, and Alex uses one hand to line himself up with Jack’s entrance while gently holding onto Jack’s hip with his other.

“You ready?” He murmurs, pausing a moment and looking Jack in the eyes. Jack nods enthusiastically, and Alex carefully pushes in, starting a slow rhythm thrusting in and out.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” Jack breathes, and Alex moans softly, the words turning him on more than he would’ve expected. Slowly, he starts to build up speed, getting a good pace going, and Jack moans, lifting his legs and resting his heels on Alex’s back, making Alex thrust in deeper.

Alex buries his face into the crook of Jack’s neck, softly kissing and sucking at his skin and making Jack moan louder. Jack wraps his arms around Alex, digging his fingernails into Alex’s shoulder blades which makes Alex let out a soft groan, muffled by Jack’s neck. Quickly, Alex lifts his head back up and presses his lips to Jack’s, kissing him heatedly as he continues thrusting.

“Fuck- I’m gonna cum,” Jack mutters against Alex’s lips, and he removes his one of his hands from Alex’s back and reaches between them, rubbing his clit in time with Alex’s thrusts. “Oh God, I’m so close,” he chokes out, and Alex increases the pace of his hips, hitting Jack’s G-spot head-on with every thrust as Jack continues rubbing himself, circling his fingers as he gets closer to the edge. He squeezes his thighs around Alex’s waist, and Alex releases a shaky breath as he gets closer himself. Suddenly, Jack drops his head back against the pillow, arching his back as his whole body tenses, and he lets out a loud moan, his body convulsing slightly. The sight alone is enough to make Alex cum on the spot, releasing deep inside Jack who’s still working himself through his orgasm. 

Alex collapses on top of Jack as they both take a moment to catch their breath, panting heavily.

“Fuck,” Alex murmurs into Jack’s shoulder, making Jack laugh softly. Eventually, Alex rolls off him, lying on his back beside Jack. A moment later, once Jack has worked up the strength, he gets up, heading to the bathroom. “Where are you going?” Alex asks, and Jack chuckles again.

“To piss,” Jack responds deadpan. Alex snorts. “What’s so funny about that?” He asks, amused at Alex’s reaction.

“I don’t know. Just the way you said it,” Alex says, and Jack huffs out a laugh.

“Someone”s drunker than he let on,” he mutters, heading into the bathroom.

Once he’s finished in the bathroom, Jack reenters the bedroom and is surprised to see that Alex has settled himself under the covers.

“You’re staying?” Jack asks, trying not to let his voice sound too hopeful. Alex sits up immediately.

“Sorry, do you want me to go?” He asks.

“No,” Jack answers almost instantly. “I didn’t mean it like that, I was just surprised. Please, stay.” Alex lies back down, pulling the covers up over himself, and Jack climbs in beside him. Without thinking about it too much, Alex opens his arms, wordlessly inviting Jack to cuddle up to him. Jack accepts, resting his head on Alex’s chest and wrapping his arm around Alex’s middle. He shuts his eyes and sighs deeply, completely content. If only this could mean something, he thinks wistfully.

Chapter Text

Much to Jack’s relief, he and Alex go back to normal almost immediately after the night they spent together. Of course, Jack had been secretly hoping that it did mean something to Alex, despite them agreeing that it was just casual, meaningless sex, but in lieu of that, he’s glad that there’s absolutely no weirdness between them.

It’s been about six weeks since he and Alex had sex – Jack only knows this because they’re now on their South American leg of the tour – and the tour sickness has finally hit him.

He can’t say he’s surprised, because he’s pretty sure that he’s never gone a single tour without getting sick at some point, usually as a result of a mix of the large amounts of alcohol they all consume and the terrible tour diet, but as he kneels on the floor of the tiny bus bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet, he can’t help but wonder why he’s quite so sick this time. Especially since he’s been making an effort to eat more healthily recently.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself when he finally figures he’s done throwing up for now. Wearily, he stands up, flushing the toilet, and rinses his mouth out at the sink.

Jack exits the small bathroom and heads back to his bunk, sitting down and resting his head in his hands. As chance would have it, Alex steps out of the bus’ back lounge into the bunk room just as Jack is wallowing.

“You okay, dude?” Alex asks. Jack groans softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responds. Alex snorts out a soft laugh.

“You don’t look it,” he responds. “Or sound it.” He takes a seat next to Jack, resting a hand on his shoulder. Jack shrugs

“Just tour sickness. I’ll be fine.”

“Need anything?” Alex asks, rubbing Jack’s back gently.

“No thanks, man. I’m good,” Jack responds, although his body betrays him when his stomach churns and he heaves suddenly. “Oh, God,” he mutters, standing up and rushing back to the bathroom. Seconds later, Alex hears Jack throwing up again, and he pulls a face at the sound. He’s just debating whether he should see if Jack is okay or if he should just wait for him to return on his own accord when Jack reemerges from the bathroom looking worse for wear.

“Sure you’re good there?” Alex asks as Jack walks back into the bunk room, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

“Must’ve just eaten something. I’ll be fine,” he responds, sitting back down in his bunk beside Alex and slumping against the bunk wall. Alex frowns, concern for Jack increasing.

“You sure you don’t want anything?” Alex asks.

“I’m sure. Honestly, Alex, I’m fine. Thank you, though,” Jack responds.

“Maybe you shouldn’t play the show tomorrow if you’re still feeling like this,” Alex suggests hesitantly, but Jack shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow,” he says. Alex wants to insist, but he drops it.

Jack’s probably right, Alex reckons. Tour does funny things to one’s health. He’ll probably be better once he’s slept a little. 

Right?

Or not, as it turns out. Suddenly it’s been ten days and Jack hasn’t gone more than two days without throwing up. Granted, he’s been feeling a little less lethargic the longer the illness has gone on, but this is starting to seem unusual.

To say Alex is concerned about Jack is an understatement; as much as he knows he shouldn’t, he’s taken to Google more than once to try to find out why Jack has been sick for so long, although the answers are very few and far between, and none of them especially helpful.

The whole of the band and crew are more than aware of Jack’s mysterious ongoing illness by now, which is unsurprising seeing as they spend most of the time in the same cramped space, but to Jack’s disdain, the word ‘hospital’ has come up more than once in conversation. Yes, of course Jack is starting to worry, but he doesn’t need to go to hospital. Probably.

It’s only when he bursts into the bathroom one morning to throw up yet again while Alex is cleaning his teeth that a possible cause crosses Alex’s mind.

“Hey, listen, I’ve been thinking,” Alex starts, and Jack doesn’t think he’s going to like where this is going. “I know you don’t want to go to the hospital, but I don’t think you’re well, Jack.” Jack rolls his eyes, although Alex doesn’t see. No fucking shit, Sherlock, he thinks. “I’ve been googling your symptoms, and while nothing useful has come up, I did remember something.” He cautiously takes a seat on the floor beside Jack, and Jack turns to face Alex once he feels that the sickness has stopped for now. “I don’t mean to overstep here, and I know you know your body better than I do so you’ve probably already thought of this, but remember when we were kids and you used to get, like, completely incapacitated for a week or so before you got your period? It sounded a lot like this, I remember you telling me that you’d throw up for days. You think it’s that?” Alex fiddles with his hands nervously, hoping he hasn’t offended Jack. Jack just shakes his head dismissively.

“No, no, it can’t be that. I haven’t had that in-” Jack cuts himself off.

Period.

He hasn’t had a period in…

Two months?!

Holy shit.

“Uh… I haven’t had that problem since I started birth control.” He finishes quickly, looking down. All the colour has drained from his face, and he’s suddenly very thankful that he can use this sickness as a cover for his reaction. Alex doesn’t seem to notice, pursing his lips in thought and nodding.

“Okay,” he responds. “Sorry if I was, like, overstepping or whatever.” 

“No, no, it’s okay. Honestly. You’re just concerned. I appreciate it, really,” Jack responds. “I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Get some fresh air, clear my head.”

“Want some company?” Alex asks. Jack smiles fondly.

“Thanks for the offer, dude, but I think I wanna be alone right now,” he says.

“Okay, but you know where I am if you need me,” Alex responds, rubbing Jack’s shoulder before standing up, and he offers Jack a hand once he’s up. Jack takes it, pulling himself to his feet and trying not to let the sudden motion make him feel sick again.

“Thanks, Alex. And thanks for looking after me.”

Jack wanders around the little convenience store with his hood pulled up, trying to attract as little attention as possible. He knows it’s silly – he’s unlikely to run into anyone who might recognise him out here, however he doesn’t want to risk any fans seeing him buying a pregnancy test and having the rumours start; he’s already got enough to worry about.

He selects three different ones, just to be completely sure, and as he hands them over the counter, the middle aged cashier gives him a look he isn’t unfamiliar with – a mix of judgement and confusion. Normally he’d challenge it, ask what’s so wrong with a man buying a pregnancy test, but between the nausea and the anxiety, he really doesn’t have the energy.

Wordlessly, he pays – racking up quite a surprisingly high total that would make him mad in any other circumstances – before leaving as fast as he can, and he walks briskly back to the bus, the anticipation making the churning in his stomach even worse.

He arrives back at the bus and heads inside, hoping no one will see him because he doesn’t want anyone or anything to slow him down. He’s far too anxious.

Also he knows that, if anyone catches him, they’re bound to ask what’s in the bag.

But, of course, nothing is ever that easy, because just as he’s about to duck into the bathroom, he’s stopped by Bill, their manager.

“Oh, hey, Jack,” he says cheerily. Jack groans internally.

“Hey, man,” he responds weakly.

“How you feeling?” Bill asks. Jack shrugs.

“Not great, but at least the headaches are less frequent now,” he responds. He’s about to go into the bathroom when Bill’s voice stops him again.

“What you got there?” He asks nonchalantly, gesturing to the plastic bag in Jack’s hand. Jack’s pulse quickens – the one thing he doesn’t want to have to talk about right now.

“Um, just- uh, pads,” he responds, thinking on his feet.

If there’s one thing he’s learnt, it’s that mentioning – or even implying – periods is usually a quick and easy way to end a conversation with other men. The number of times Jack has been in a situation when cis men have got visibly uncomfortable when menstruation has been so much as suggested is absurd. But at least it makes for a good exit to the conversation.

Sure enough, Bill gets that look on his face – the one that Jack knows well enough, the one that so many cis guys get when they’re this strange mix of uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“Oh, uh- right. Sorry, I’ll uh… let you get on with that,” he says, and walks away. Jack rolls his eyes at the, frankly, childish reaction, but he’s never been more glad for it, and goes into the bathroom, locking the door behind himself.

He sits down on the toilet and unboxes all of the tests, resting them on his bare thighs, and debates how to do this. He’s taken a pregnancy test precisely once in his life – the week after he lost his virginity when he was eighteen – but he can’t imagine it’s changed much in five years. Regardless, he reads the instructions for all of them and decides that the best course of action will be to take them one by one, as opposed to all at the same time which he’d also considered doing, which means he will have to try to make his pee last for all three tests.

This is going to be one of the more interesting pelvic floor exercises.

He makes quick work of taking the tests, although he still makes sure to take them as carefully as possible, struggling a little since his hands are shaking from anxiety, and then places them on the sink counter and waits. 

The tests all take ten minutes to get results, so Jack just sits and waits. He has his phone on him, but he’s far too anxious to even think about playing a game or going on social media or using any other distractions he has on there, so instead he just waits, sitting on the bathroom floor, knees tucked up to his chest with his head resting on them.

It’s a painfully long ten minutes, and Jack kind of wants to cry. What will he do if he’s pregnant? And how will Alex react when he finds out?

At least he doesn’t feel sick right now. Well, of course the stress is inevitably making his stomach churn uncomfortably, however he doesn’t currently feel like he’s going to throw up imminently.

Eventually, ten minutes pass, however now that the answer is right there, he can’t bring himself to look. Fuck. This would be so much easier if he had a partner here for moral support. Or even just a friend.

Okay – Alex. He wants Alex here. But this is not the time to be hopelessly in love.

Eventually, he bites the bullet and stands up shakily, grabbing the nearest test blindly and looking at it.

Pregnant.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Maybe it’s just a false positive. Yeah, that has to be it. Nervously, he picks up the other two tests, and his stomach drops when he looks at them.

Both positive.

What am I going to do?!

Chapter Text

It’s been a week since Jack’s discovery – if one could call it that – and he feels like the most logical thing to do here would be to have an abortion.

Except the more he thinks about it, the less he likes the idea.

Sure, he’s not ready to have a baby, and he’s probably too young to be a parent, and he hasn’t even told Alex yet. But somehow, despite all that… maybe this isn’t as horrifying as he thought it was when he found out. Of course, logically he knows that he shouldn’t have a child over a ‘maybe’, however he doesn’t want to jump to making a decision just yet. At least until he’s told Alex.

They have a hotel night tomorrow. He’ll tell Alex then, when they can have some privacy.

The hotel night comes far more quickly than Jack would like, however as much as he’d like to put off telling Alex, he feels like he should just get it over with. And he knows that, if he lets himself delay it now, he’ll only keep putting it off.

He nervously knocks on Alex’s door, although part of him is hoping that he went out with the others.

To Jack’s dismay, however, Alex opens the door moments later. His face lights up when he sees Jack, which suddenly makes this whole endeavour seem just a little easier.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” He asks, smiling widely, although his face falls when he sees Jack’s nervous expression. “Jack, is everything okay, man?” Jack nods solemnly, sighing heavily.

“Yeah, I just– can I come in? I need to talk to you about something.” Alex frowns, opening the door wider for Jack and stepping aside so he can enter. Jack heads over to the small sofa and sits down, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. Alex sits beside him and places a comforting hand on Jack’s thigh, waiting for Jack to speak when he’s ready.

“So, uh…” Jack starts. “You know how I’ve been mysteriously sick for a while now?” Alex’s eyes widen and his stomach churns in fear.

“Oh my God, is it something serious?” Alex asks, panic in his voice. “Is it… is it cancer?!”

“No, no. It’s not- I’m not sick sick. I promise,” Jack responds, and Alex visibly relaxes.

“Oh, thank God,” Alex says, heaving a sigh of relief. “So what is it then?”

“I, uh…” Jack trails off, struggling. He takes a deep breath before deciding to just tear off the bandage. “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re… what?” Alex asks, stunned. Jack buries his face in his hands, unable to look at Alex right now.

“I’m pregnant,” Jack repeats.

“Holy fuck,” Alex murmurs. “And it’s, uh…”

“It’s yours,” Jack finishes for him. “Definitely. You’re the only person I’ve had sex with in, like, a year.”

“But I thought you were on birth control,” Alex says, confused.

Jack snorts. “Yeah, I am. That’s the dumbest fucking part – I’m on goddamn birth control but I’m still fucking pregnant. ” Alex removes his hand from Jack’s thigh and places it gently on his back, rubbing comfortingly.

“What are you gonna do?” He asks softly. Jack shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he whispers. Alex sighs, shifting closer to Jack and wrapping his arm around Jack’s shoulders.

“Well, listen – I don’t wanna make you change your mind – like, if you don’t wanna keep it then don’t just do so on my account – but honestly… this is amazing news. Like, having a baby with my best friend? That’s honestly lovely,” Alex murmurs. Jack frowns, lifting his head up. 

This certainly wasn’t the reaction he expected.

“What?” Jack responds. “You’re not… scared? Upset? Anything?” Alex shrugs.

“I mean, sure, obviously it’s scary. But, I don’t know, it’s kind of lovely when you think about it.” Jack bites his lip, and suddenly his eyes are welling up. Fucking hormones. “Hey, don’t cry,” Alex adds when he sees a stray tear roll down Jack’s face. “Like I said – please don’t make a decision based on how I feel. You need to do what’s right for you. Hey. Come here.” He wraps his arms around Jack and pulls Jack towards him.

“Fuck, sorry. My emotions are just… fucking all over the place,” Jack sniffles. He wipes his eyes in frustration before sitting up, looking at Alex. “You know, I, uh… I think I do want to keep it.” Alex raises an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?” He asks sceptically. “Jack, if you’re just saying this because I said it was great news, please don’t. I don’t want to make you feel pressured into having it. This is a huge commitment.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “I know it’s a huge commitment, obviously. I’m not an idiot.”

Alex grabs a hold of Jack’s hands gently, turning to face him a little more. “I know you’re not, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” he says gently. “I just mean… you turned up looking so scared, and you were clearly struggling to even tell me, and then you started crying… it doesn’t look like you wanna have this baby, dude.” Jack sighs, casting his eyes downwards.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. My emotions are a mess right now. But I do want it. Honestly. Yeah, I was fucking terrified when I found out I’m pregnant, but the thought of having an abortion scares me even more,” he says, and Alex squeezes his hands gently. “And, to be honest, I didn’t know how you’d react. I thought you’d freak out. That’s kinda why I was so nervous.” Alex frowns.

“You were that worried that I’d react badly? Oh, Jack…” Alex trails off. “I’m so sorry.” Jack shakes his head firmly.

“No, don’t apologise, Alex. It’s not your fault, okay? It was honestly just me overthinking it,” he says with a bitter smile at his own expense. Alex seems to accept this, or at least he doesn’t say otherwise.

“Does anyone else know?” Alex asks instead.

“No,” Jack responds. “I wanted to tell you first. But I think I’m gonna wait awhile before I tell the others.”

“Okay,” Alex says. “And have you been for a scan or anything yet? Any checkups?”

Jack shakes his head, wrinkling his nose. “No. I hadn’t even thought that far ahead. Fuck, how am I gonna make that work when we’re travelling from one place to another all the fucking time?”

“Well, hey, don’t stress about it now,” Alex says gently, placing his hand back on Jack’s back and rubbing comfortingly, sensing that Jack is about to spiral. “I’m sure you’ll be able to figure something out when we’re back in the US.”

“Hopefully,” Jack mutters, wringing his hands together anxiously.

“The first scan’s usually around twelve weeks, right? Any idea how far along you are?” Alex asks, his hand still on Jack’s shoulder.

“Uh…” Jack trails off, furrowing his eyebrows as if deep in concentration. “When did we have sex?”

“Fuck, I don’t remember,” Alex answers, pursing his lips as he tries to cast his mind back to that night. “It was after my birthday, right?”

“I think so. I think it was, like, a couple days before Christmas.”

“Okay, so, wait, how many weeks would that be?” Alex asks, and in any other circumstances, he’d almost laugh at how it’s taking their combined brain power just to piece together a date.

“Uh, hold on,” Jack mutters, taking his phone out of his pocket and opening the calendar app. He’s quiet for a moment, counting up the days silently. “About eight weeks, I think,” he says eventually. “At least, Christmas Day was eight weeks ago today, so I’m probably, like, just over eight weeks.”

“Okay, so that means we’ll just about be back in the US when you’re around eleven weeks,” Alex says, and Jack can almost see the gears turning in his head as he tries to solve it.

“Don’t worry about it, Alex,” Jack interjects before Alex can continue, sensing that he otherwise wouldn’t stop until he’d figured it out; as much as he loves the older boy and his drive – and, in many cases, impulsivity – right now he just doesn’t have the energy to deal with this. “I really don’t wanna think about it right now.” Alex smiles slightly sheepishly, sensing that he probably got a little too intense.

“Fair enough,” he says. “Do you wanna stay here tonight? I feel like you could do with the company.” This just about makes Jack smile, the first time he’s properly smiled since this whole situation started.

“I’d love that,” Jack responds honestly. Alex smiles warmly at him.

“I can always sleep on the couch if you don’t wanna share a bed,” he adds, and this actually makes Jack laugh a little.

“Alex, you and I have literally had sex. Hell, I’m pregnant with your child. I think we can share a bed for a night,” he says, and Alex notices the way Jack’s voice sounds just a little bit brighter already. “Unless you’d rather not share,” he adds hesitantly, but Alex just smiles wider, leaning across the gap and pressing a soft kiss into Jack’s hair without really thinking too much about it.

“Of course I don’t mind sharing,” he whispers.

Chapter Text

When Alex wakes up the next morning, he’s surprised to find Jack’s side of the bed empty. He almost wonders if Jack decided to leave while he was sleeping, until he hears the sound of retching coming from the bathroom. Right, morning sickness.

Aside from his elation in finding out that Jack is pregnant, he can’t deny that he’s also incredibly relieved that Jack’s prolonged sickness can finally be explained; it’s no secret that he was starting to get very worried.

He gets out of bed and knocks on the bathroom door gently.

“You alright?” He asks through the door.

“Great,” comes Jack’s sarcastic reply between bouts of throwing up. Alex wants to offer more but he doesn’t want to overwhelm Jack, so instead he gets back into bed, sitting up and scrolling mindlessly through his phone.

Jack reemerges a few minutes later and quite literally plummets back onto the bed, dropping his head heavily onto the pillow with a soft groan.

“Hey,” Alex says, smiling down at him sympathetically. Jack hums in response. “Did you sleep okay?” Alex adds.

“Fine,” Jack responds. “Until I woke up feeling violently ill again. This baby is already kicking my ass.” Alex lets out a soft laugh, reaching a hand down to carefully brush Jack’s hair out of his face.

“Need anything?” He asks, but Jack shakes his head.

“No thanks. Just moral support, really,” he responds.

“Well, that I can definitely do,” Alex says. Jack smiles up at him before slowly sitting up, and from his slight change in demeanour, Alex can tell that they’re about to have a serious conversation, so he puts his phone aside, turning his full attention to Jack.

“I was wondering… would you not tell anyone I’m pregnant? I don’t want anyone knowing yet,” Jack says, and Alex frowns. Had Jack really thought Alex would share something so personal without asking? He tries not to be hurt by that – Jack’s probably just very nervous; it’s probably not personal.

“Of course I won’t, Jack,” Alex responds, taking a hold of Jack’s hand and squeezing it gently. “I’d never tell anyone without asking you.” This doesn’t seem to reassure Jack, however.

“No, like, anyone anyone,” he says. “Like, not even your parents. Not yet.” Oh . That makes more sense. “I don’t want my parents to find out by accident, but I can’t tell them yet,” he adds. Alex nods energetically.

“Of course,” he responds. “I won’t say anything to anyone. I promise.” Jack visibly relaxes, and he manages a small smile, exhaling softly.

“Okay, good. Thank you.”

Keeping the pregnancy a secret proves to be harder than Jack thought, however.

Even with hotel nights every few days, they’re all still sharing the same living space a lot of the time, and while the morning sickness is becoming more manageable as time goes on, it’s irritatingly hard to hide whenever they’re on the bus. And since it’s been about a month since Jack’s sickness started, everyone else’s concern is – understandably – skyrocketing.

“I really think you need to go to the hospital, dude,” Their light technician, Frank, says when Jack stumbles out of the bathroom after another particularly noisy round of throwing up. Jack’s palms sweat nervously.

“I don’t need to go to the hospital. I’m fine,” Jack grits out, trying not to let the annoyance show. He knows people just care, and in all honesty he completely understands why they’re all so worried – he’d probably be equally concerned if he were in their position – but he can’t help but wish they’d all just leave him alone.

“Jack, you’ve been sick for weeks, and you don’t seem to be getting any better. If you don’t get yourself checked out soon then I’m gonna drag your ass to a hospital myself. Something isn’t right,” Frank continues. Jack sighs inwardly, but doesn’t respond, slinking back to his bunk wordlessly.

To Jack’s relief, the morning sickness starts to die down little by little. Of course, there are still days when it makes its appearance, however it’s more like every three or four days now rather than several times a day. As an added bonus, the less sick he seems, the less everyone worries about him, making it easier to hide the pregnancy.

Until the bus party, however.

Jack has never been one for going overboard on bus parties – in his opinion, they’re not that much fun since the bus is an awfully cramped place to have a party, so they never really do much besides sit around drinking – however when Jack says he’ll be giving the party a miss entirely, it does turn several heads.

“The fuck do you mean you don’t feel like it?” Frank asks. Jack shrugs, sensing everyone’s eyes on him and kind of wanting to curl up into a ball and hide.

“I don’t know what else to tell you. I just don’t wanna join in tonight. You guys have fun without me,” Jack replies, standing up from the small sofa and attempting to head to his bunk, however it seems that the questioning isn’t finished.

“You feeling alright?” Bob, their photographer, interjects. Jack balls his hands into fists, trying hard not to roll his eyes. Although it suddenly gives him a good excuse.

“To be honest, I still don’t feel, like, completely better,” Jack says. “The last thing I wanna do right now is spend all evening drinking loads.” Thinking that’s the end of it, Jack heads to the door, but just as he’s about to open it, another voice pipes up.

“It’s not like you not to drink at all, though,” Rian chimes in unhelpfully. “Just one beer?” This finally makes Jack snap.

“Look, I’ve said I don’t want to drink tonight, so please just fucking accept it. Why can’t any of you take ‘no’ for an answer? Get off my fucking case.” Jack’s reaction stuns everyone into silence, and although he instantly feels guilty, part of him wants to keep yelling.

The door opens suddenly, revealing Alex returning from the quest he’d been sent on to obtain alcohol. He’s just about to announce as much when his eyes scan the room full of people all uncomfortably silent, and he can almost feel the tension as soon as he enters.

“Everything okay?” He asks, frowning. He briefly makes eye contact with Jack, although Jack looks away quickly.

“Fine,” Jack mutters angrily in response, before roughly opening the door to the bunk room and slamming it behind himself. Alex grimaces slightly, but nonetheless places the bag of alcohol on the small coffee table, and the tension seems to disappear.

“What happened?” Alex asks quietly. Rian shrugs.

“Fuck if I know,” he says. “We just asked Jack why he didn’t want to drink and he blew up.” Alex frowns.

“What did he say?”

“He just said he didn’t feel like it,” Bill says, reaching into the bag Alex set down and pulling out a six-pack of beers, opening them and passing them around.

“You didn’t have to pressure him,” Alex says, frowning again. 

“We didn’t,” Rian protests. “I just asked if he’d stay for just one beer. One can’t do any harm.” Alex rolls his eyes.

“That’s pressuring,” he says, trying to remain as neutral as possible, although he can’t help the irritation that’s creeping up.

“Look, I’ve been meaning to say this but I didn’t know how to bring it up, but maybe you can, Alex,” Zack pipes up as he emerges from the small bathroom, and he makes his way over to Alex, lowering his voice so that Jack can’t hear him. “Do you think it’s possible that Jack has an eating disorder? Like, that would explain all the throwing up.” Alex swallows, not knowing how to handle this situation.

“No, I-I don’t think so,” he responds dismissively. “I think it’s just the stress and instability of touring. He has a weak stomach sometimes.”

“Yeah, and besides, he can’t have an eating disorder because, if anything, he’s gaining weight, not losing it,” Rian adds unhelpfully. Alex goes cold.

“Not everyone who has an eating disorder loses weight, dumbass,” Zack retorts. “Especially with bulimia. Y’know, bingeing and purging. A lot of bulimic people actually gain a lot of weight before they lose any.”

“No, you guys, Jack is fine, honestly,” Alex says, trying to defuse the situation. Bill raises an eyebrow and turns to look at Alex.

“What do you know?” He asks sceptically. Alex’s pulse quickens, and suddenly everyone’s looking at him expectantly.

“Nothing,” he responds defensively. “I just know what Jack’s like, and I think you should all ease up on him a little. If he says he’s fine then I’m sure he’s fine.” This seems to satisfy everyone, because no one says anything else after that. Instead, they all turn their attention to the large bag of alcohol not yet unpacked.

Everyone’s been drinking for about half an hour, and they all seem to be relaxed enough that Alex reckons that they won’t notice if he momentarily slips away.

He shuts the door to the bunk room behind himself quietly, although he imagines no one would’ve heard it anyway over the volume of all the talking and the laughing, and approaches Jack’s bunk, knocking gently on the wall.

“Jack, it’s me,” he murmurs. The curtain opens to reveal Jack curled up into a pitifully tiny ball, tears running down his face. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asks gently. He climbs inside Jack’s bunk, sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed, and shuts the curtain. Jack sits up slowly, wiping his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Jack responds, voice breaking. “Nothing, really. I think I overreacted.” He sniffles softly and wipes his eyes. “It’s these- these fucking hormones. The smallest things make me cry.” Alex smiles sadly, reaching out and gently taking a hold of Jack’s hand with his own, stroking it with his thumb. “I yelled at everyone for no reason, Alex. I feel so bad.”

“Hey, it’s okay. They’ll get over it,” he says gently. “Although, you should probably know that Zack is starting to think you have bulimia ‘cause of all the throwing up. Also, uh… I think people are starting to notice the baby weight.” Alex bites his lip nervously, worried he’s said the wrong thing. Jack just huffs quietly.

“Great. That’s just what I need,” Jack mutters. “Fuck. I have to tell them.” He sniffles softly again, and Alex furrows his eyebrows.

“Are you sure?” Alex asks. Jack lifts his head up and looks Alex in the eyes.

“No. But I don’t see any other option, do you?” Alex purses his lips, not knowing what to say. “I don’t wanna tell them yet, Alex. I’m not ready,” Jack whispers, and his eyes well up again. Alex feels his heart break at the sight, and shifts himself so that he’s sitting in between Jack and the wall of the bunk, wrapping a comforting arm around him. Jack leans into him gratefully, resting his head on Alex’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you wanna tell anyone?” Alex asks softly. Jack releases a shaky sigh, shrugging.

“I don’t know. I wanted to tell my parents before I tell anyone else, but I’m not ready to tell them yet. I wanted to wait at least until after my first scan before I started telling people. Also-” he cuts himself off, shaking his head gently and bringing his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

“Also what?” Alex encourages quietly, leaning his head against Jack’s gently.

“It’s stupid,” Jack says.

“Tell me,” Alex murmurs. Jack hesitates a moment, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Well it’s like… I know I’m out to everyone, but, I don’t know… it’s one thing being out to them, but I kind of feel like… what if they treat me differently?” Alex frowns.

“Why would anyone treat you differently?” He asks, squeezing Jack’s hip reassuringly.

Jack shrugs again. “I don’t know. I’m just scared people won’t react well. I can’t explain it, I just don’t want anyone to know. At least, not until they have to. I mean, eventually it’s gonna be pretty impossible to hide, huh.” He huffs out a humourless laugh, placing his hand over his stomach absentmindedly.

“Well, you don’t have to tell them if you’re not ready,” Alex says. “Yeah, they have questions, but it’s not their business if you don’t want it to be.” Jack lets out another shaky sigh, cuddling further into Alex’s side.

It occurs to him as he sits there in Alex’s embrace just how safe and loved he feels, and not for the first time he desperately wishes that this meant something to Alex.

But Alex is just an incredibly caring friend, looking after Jack when he’s sad. And pregnant.

“No, I’ll- I’ll tell them,” he says after a few minutes. “Like I said, I can’t hide it forever.” He sits up suddenly, turning to face Alex a little. “Wait, what about the party?”

“What about it?” Alex asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I’ve been keeping you with all my crying. Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m fine. Why don’t you go back out there?” Jack says, but Alex scoffs.

“Jack, as if I care about that,” he says. “Bus parties kinda suck. But even if they didn’t, you really think I’d just leave you here when you’re sad?” Jack doesn’t answer, looking down and clasping his hands together self-consciously. “Besides, what kind of person would I be if I just ditched my pregnant best friend when he’s sad?” Alex adds in a humorous tone, trying to lighten the mood. Jack smiles slightly.

“So you’re only here because I’m pregnant and depressed?” Jack jokes. Alex smiles softly.

“Yeah, I mean, if you weren’t pregnant then that would be another story,” Alex teases. “No, I’m kidding. I’ll always be here for you, Jack. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Jack says softly, a small smile still on his face. “Thank you, Alex. It means a lot to me.”

Chapter Text

Jack finally works up the courage to tell the others about a week later, and it’s safe to say he’s terrified.

Logically he knows that his friends are probably going to be supportive, but he can’t shake the feeling that they’re going to react badly. But he can’t hide it forever – he’s already showing a little; eventually people are going to start to notice.

Which brings him here – standing nervously outside the door to the back lounge. After a minor pep talk with himself, he walks in, ignoring the way his anxiety shoots up. 

“Hey, man,” Rian says as Jack takes a seat on the floor in the corner by the window on account of all the seats being taken.

“Hey,” Jack responds, voice slightly shaky. “Can we, uh… where’s everyone else?” The room falls quiet and everyone turns to look at Jack, his sombre tone seemingly catching everyone else’s attention.

“Alex is in his bunk, and I think Zack just went to the bathroom,” Bill says. “Everything okay?”

Jack nods. “Yeah, just… I’ve got something important I need to say.” He exhales shakily, ignoring all the concerned looks in his direction.

Zack walks back into the room a moment later, although it’s a moment too long, in Jack’s opinion.

“Oh, hey, Jack,” Zack says cheerily as he notices Jack sitting on the floor.

“Hey,” Jack responds. “Would you mind getting Alex? I have some, uh, news.” Zack frowns, but nods, and he leans out the door and knocks on the wall of Alex’s bunk.

“Hey, would you come in here for a minute? Jack wants to talk to everyone,” he says, and moments later Alex appears in the doorway. Just from the look on his face – a knowing look mixed with reassurance – Jack can tell that Alex knows what he’s about to say.

“You okay?” Alex asks quietly as he comes to stand near to where Jack is sitting. Jack nods.

“Yeah, I, uh… now that everyone’s here, I need to say something,” he starts, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie anxiously. “Okay, obviously I think I need to address the elephant in the room first – my, uh, constant sickness. Before anyone worries though, no, it’s nothing serious. In fact, I’m not sick at all, actually. Turns out, I am, uh…” he trails off, biting the cap of his hoodie string and glancing nervously around the room at all the concerned faces looking in his direction, and suddenly this situation seems a whole lot less scary. “I’m pregnant.” The room is silent for a beat, and Jack looks down at his lap, suddenly scared all over again.

“Holy shit,” comes Frank’s voice, and Jack looks up, surprised. “That’s awesome, dude, congratulations!” Suddenly, Jack’s being pulled to his feet and into a hug, and someone else pats him on the back affectionately, everyone congratulating him in their own way.

When he’s released, he feels a hand squeeze his, and he looks up to see Alex giving him a reassuring smile.

“So, who’s the dad? Well, other dad?” Rian asks.

“Uh,” Jack responds, his eyes flicking to Alex’s for a split second. “Alex.”

“Woah, no way! So you guys are finally together then?” Bill asks. Jack frowns. Finally?

“What?” Alex responds, a little too fast for Jack’s liking. “No, no, we’re just friends.” Jack tries not to be hurt by the speed at which Alex said that. “Long story short, Jack and I had a one-night stand a couple months ago.”

“Just friends, huh?” Bill retorts with a smirk, sending Alex a knowing look behind Jack’s back. Alex scowls at him.

“Yes,” Alex snaps defensively. Bill raises an eyebrow, still wearing the same smirk, and Alex rolls his eyes.

“Also,” Jack says, changing the subject, “I just wanted to apologise for blowing up at everyone the other day. I know you all just care, so I’m sorry. I know it sounds a totally cliché excuse, but it’s so true what they say – being pregnant really fucks with your emotions.”

“No, dude, you don’t need to apologise,” Bill says, placing a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “We shouldn’t have pressured you to drink when you’re pregnant.”

“But you guys didn’t know,” Jack says gently. Bill huffs.

“Pregnant or not, we shouldn’t have pressured you to join in after you said no. Either way, I’m sorry, dude.” Bill says, and Jack’s heart warms; as he stands there surrounded by his friends, he can’t imagine how he was ever worried that they’d react badly.

“Jack, you in there?” Alex asks, knocking on the wall of Jack’s bunk one evening.

“Yeah,” comes the response, and the curtain opens to reveal Jack sitting cross-legged reading a magazine. Alex is about to continue when he looks at the pages open on Jack’s lap.

“Are you reading about us?” Alex asks, unable to hide his amusement as he notices a picture of the four of them taken a couple weeks ago at the top of the page Jack is reading.

“Do you never read what the magazines write about us?” Jack responds, a smile on his face. Alex shrugs, huffing out a quiet laugh.

“I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess,” Alex says, climbing into Jack’s bunk and sitting opposite him. “It’s cute.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “Sure,” he mumbles sarcastically.

“No, I mean it,” Alex says. “I love how proud you are of the band.” Jack blushes ever so slightly, and his heart warms at Alex’s words.

“Anyway, what’s up?” Jack asks, changing the subject because he’s never been very good at taking compliments. Alex hesitates for a moment, almost forgetting the reason why he came here in the first place.

“I’ve been thinking,” he starts. “I know it’s early days, so we don’t really have to think about this yet, but once the tour is over, I think I’m gonna move to LA to be near to you so that I can be as involved with the baby as possible.” Jack’s eyes widen slightly in surprise – sure, he knew Alex wanted to be an active parent to their baby, but knowing that he’s already been thinking about their future as co-parents makes Jack’s heart swell. And it makes this whole thing just a little easier. “I can get a place near you, or we could even move in together,” Alex continues.

“Live together?” Jack asks softly. “Like a family?” He tries to keep the hopefulness out of his voice, but he can picture it now – him and Alex sharing a life together, raising their child together. They may not be a couple, but at least their future as co-parents doesn’t sound too bad.

“Yeah, sure,” Alex says. “I mean, obviously we’d just be roommates, but yeah – we could live together so our baby doesn’t have to spend only half the time with each of us. And also it means I can be there to support you when you have the baby, and afterwards when you’re healing. If you want me there for that.” Jack hadn’t yet considered actually giving birth – partly because this still doesn’t feel real to him, but also because everything he’s ever read or heard about childbirth sounds absolutely horrific, so he doesn’t want to let himself dwell on the fact that he’s eventually going to have to go through that himself. But now that he is thinking about it, he realises that there’s no one else he’d rather have by his side when he gives birth. Even if the baby weren’t Alex’s, Jack would still want him there.

Although if the baby weren’t Alex’s, his support would probably be a little different, Jack thinks wistfully. 

“That sounds lovely,” Jack says softly, a small smile on his face. Alex mirrors Jack’s smile, and reaches out and loosely links their fingers together, resting their hands on Jack’s knee. “Although I think I’d rather move to you. If that’s okay,” Jack adds.

“Yeah, of course that’s okay,” Alex murmurs. “Why, though?”

“My parents live, like, half an hour away from you, and I think I wanna have them close by when the baby’s here, y’know,” Jack responds. Alex purses his lips in consideration, nodding and squeezing Jack’s fingers gently with his own.

“Have you, uh, told them yet?” Alex asks hesitantly after a pause. Jack wrinkles his nose, shaking his head.

“No. I gotta be honest, I’m kinda nervous,” he admits. Alex caresses the back of Jack’s hand reassuringly.

“Do you think they’re gonna react badly or something?”

“I really don’t know – that’s the issue,” Jack says. “I mean, I’m sure they’ll be supportive in their own way. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am pretty young to be having a kid.”

“Well, I’m sure they’ll be happy for you,” Alex says gently. “Like, okay, maybe you’re a little young, but there’s nothing they could object to, really. You’re independent, you’re financially stable. And you’re definitely not gonna be left to raise it on your own.”

“‘Definitely’?” Jack echoes, feeling his heart flutter at Alex’s word choice.

“Yeah, of course,” Alex answers immediately. “We’re in this together. I’m not gonna abandon my kid.” Jack’s smile falters suddenly; of course this wasn’t about him – it’s about their baby.

“Of course,” Jack repeats weakly, forcing a small smile.

Jack lies awake in his bunk that night, contemplating.

Part of him can’t stop fantasising about Alex’s suggestion that they get a place together and raise their baby together like a real family. But every time he lets himself get a little bit excited about it, Alex’s words echo in his mind once again.

I’m not gonna abandon my kid.

Jack sighs heavily at the thought; of course Alex isn’t suddenly falling in love with him. He’s just trying to be a responsible parent.

Ironically enough, it only makes Jack love him more.

Unable to quiet his mind, he drags himself out of his bunk, heading into the small kitchen in search of a snack.

He rifles through the cupboards, grumbling to himself when nothing takes his fancy. But when he stumbles upon a half-finished jar of peanut butter, he shrugs to himself, unscrewing the lid and setting the jar down on the counter. Before he has a chance to think about it, he grabs a spoon out of the drawer and begins scooping the peanut butter directly into his mouth.

“Jack? What are you doing up?” Zack’s voice comes through the dark a few minutes later, almost making Jack jump out of his skin.

“Jesus, dude, you almost gave me a heart attack,” Jack responds.

“Sorry,” Zack says, approaching where Jack is standing and pausing in his movements for a moment as he eyes the so-called snack in Jack’s hands. “Are you… eating straight peanut butter?”

“Hey, I’m pregnant,” Jack defends. “I was hungry and I couldn’t sleep.”

“Everything okay?” Zack asks, retrieving a glass from one of the overhead cupboards and filling it up at the small sink.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“‘Cause you’re eating peanut butter straight out of the jar at three AM,” Zack points out. Good point, Jack thinks.

“I’m fine,” Jack mumbles, not looking up.

“You sure?”

“I said I’m fine,” Jack says slightly more harshly, dropping the spoon into the sink and cursing inwardly as it makes a loud clatter.

“Suit yourself,” Zack mutters, heading back off towards the bunk room.

“Wait,” Jack says softly. Zack pauses, turning back around to face Jack. “Can I, uh, ask your opinion on something?”

“Sure,” Zack answers.

“Do you… would it be a terrible idea if Alex and I got a place together to co-parent our baby?”

“Depends,” Zack starts, “are you guys dating?”

Jack shakes his head solemnly. “No.”

“But you want to be?”

“Of course.”

“Then I don’t think it would be a great idea,” Zack confesses. Jack sighs softly, crossing his arms across his body self-consciously.

“Maybe you’re right,” he murmurs.

“For one thing, what’s to stop Alex from dating people and then bringing them back to your shared apartment?” Zack asks. And Jack immediately feels the idea sting.

“I don’t know,” Jack admits. “Maybe the fact that our kid would be there?” He adds feebly. Zack sighs gently.

“You and he are still gonna have lives outside being parents,” Zack points out. “And that’ll probably mean dating. Which means eventually Alex is gonna take anyone he dates back to your place. You think you could handle that?” Jack says nothing, feeling his eyes start to sting embarrassingly. “Look, I love you and Alex like brothers,” Zack continues, more gently, “but if you want my advice, don’t try to make living together work. Unless Alex can miraculously get his shit together, you’re only gonna end up getting hurt.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asks softly.

“Which part?”

“About Alex getting his shit together.”

Zack sighs quietly. “It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Alex is as crazy about you as you are about him. But until he comes to that conclusion on his own, you’re gonna be the one getting hurt.” Without another word, Zack reopens the door to the bunk room. And as it clicks quietly behind him, Jack is once again left alone with his thoughts.

Chapter Text

A couple weeks later, they’re back in the US, which means Jack can finally go for his first scan. Granted, it took quite a lot of effort to book, what with his appointment being in a completely different state to where he lives, however it was ultimately still easier than trying to use international healthcare as foreign citizen.

They’re fortunate enough to have two consecutive hotel nights, and Jack couldn’t be more grateful when he collapses onto the large double bed after their show and is able to fully stretch out, rather than having to squish himself into the small, narrow bunk that isn’t quite long enough to accommodate his tall frame.

They have a day off today, so Jack’s got his first scan at two in the afternoon, and as much as he’d love to lie around in bed all day and do nothing, he’s actually surprisingly excited.

He wakes up around ten and decides to go up to Alex’s room to tell him, because he figures that Alex might want to come with him – it is also his baby, after all.

That’s definitely the only reason why Jack wants Alex to go with him. Nothing else.

However, when Alex answers the door to his room, Jack instantly regrets not coming a little later.

Alex is clad only in his underwear, and when Jack glances over at the bed, he can see someone else lying in it, equally naked.

“Oh, hey. I hope I’m not interrupting,” Jack says, silently praying that the hurt doesn’t show on his face.

“Who is it?” Comes a voice, presumably belonging to whomever is lying in Alex’s bed right now, before Alex has a chance to respond. Seconds later, Alex is joined by a woman Jack doesn’t recognise, wrapping herself up in the hotel duvet. “You’re cute,” she comments when she observes Jack. “Wanna join us for a threesome?” Alex’s face flushes deep red, and he looks down at the floor.

“Uh, no thanks. I just… I came to ask you something, Alex. But I can come back later when you’re less… busy,” Jack says awkwardly.

“No, Jack, wait, what’s up?” Alex asks, finally speaking. Jack looks awkwardly between Alex and the woman standing beside him, definitely not feeling comfortable with this random stranger knowing his personal business.

“Can I, uh, speak to you in private?” He glances at the woman again, her unexpected presence throwing something of a spanner into the works.

“Okay, I think I’m gonna take that as my cue to get going,” the woman says, heading back into the room to collect her clothes. Jack, meanwhile, is pissed that Alex is still standing there silently, as if torn between letting Jack in or persuading the woman to stay.

“Alex,” Jack says. Alex’s brain seems to kick into motion.

“Right, yes, sorry. Do you, uh, wanna come in?”

“I should probably give her a minute to get dressed,” Jack mutters, glancing towards the room. “Why don’t we talk out here?”

“I don’t have any clothes on,” Alex points out.

“Well then put on a fucking shirt or something,” Jack says, his frustration only increasing; he never thought it would be this difficult.

“Good point,” Alex says, but just as he’s about to dip back into the room, the woman reappears, fully dressed.

“Last night was fun,” she says in a low voice. “See you around.” She pauses for a moment as she passes Alex, quickly pecking him on the lips, before disappearing down the corridor and out of sight.

“So… what did you want to talk about?” Alex asks softly, still standing in the doorway.

“I…” Jack starts, the sudden stab of jealousy having made him lose his train of thought for a moment. “I, uh, have my scan today. Twelve weeks,” he starts intelligently. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Oh,” Alex says in surprise, his eyes widening slightly. “I didn’t realise you were that far along already. Yes, I’d love to come with you. If that’s okay.”

“It’s at two, but it’s about a thirty-minute drive, so we’ll have to take a cab. Meet me at my room by one,” Jack responds abruptly, just wanting to get out of there. Alex nods, and Jack retreats as fast as possible, his eyes stinging pathetically.

He’s been back in his hotel room for about an hour watching mindless content on YouTube, and although he stopped crying awhile ago, his heart still aches.

He feels completely ridiculous; he knows that he and Alex aren’t together, and he certainly wasn’t delusional enough to think that a baby would change that. Yet somehow it was still a huge punch to the gut to see Alex with someone else. Especially when Jack had been hoping that the scan would be a nice surprise, and that Alex might even be excited. 

Jack feels like an idiot.

He’s about halfway through the fifth video of ‘Top Animal Fails 2012’ when he hears a knock at the door. He pauses the video and he practically has to drag himself out of bed to answer it.

“Hey,” Alex says, now fully dressed. “I’m sorry about… that … before. That was weird and uncomfortable and I wish you hadn’t seen that. I’m sorry.” Jack shrugs.

“You don’t have to apologise, Alex,” Jack responds, trying to sound nonchalant. “Who you fuck is none of my business. You definitely didn’t need to come all the way up here to apologise because I interrupted something.”

“Well, that’s not the only reason I’m here,” Alex says, stepping into the room and letting Jack shut the door behind him. “I know your scan’s at two, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out beforehand. Maybe we can go get something to eat nearby.” Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Are you doing this because you feel guilty or something?” He asks. Alex shakes his head.

“No, I just think it would be nice. First scan and all. Make it into a thing,” Alex says gently, and Jack’s heart softens, and he suddenly feels his emotions spilling over again. For fuck’s sake.

“God, please stop being so nice,” he says, voice breaking. Alex huffs out a sympathetic laugh, leaning forward and wrapping Jack up in a hug. “My fucking hormones can’t handle you being so nice.”

“It’s okay,” Alex says, a smile in his voice. He kisses Jack’s hair softly, holding him tighter and rubbing his shoulder gently before pulling away. “If you’re not up to it, we can do anything else. Or, I can leave you in peace if that’s what you want,” he adds, but Jack shakes his head.

“No, that sounds lovely, honestly,” he replies in a small voice, drying his eyes – again. “Fuck – everything sets me off at the moment, it seems.”

As per Alex’s suggestion, they take a taxi into the city centre early and wander around, looking for somewhere to have lunch.

Alex’s behaviour is… odd, to say the least.

Well, Jack isn’t sure that ‘odd’ is exactly how he’d describe it, but he’s almost treating Jack as though they were an actual couple. And although Jack does secretly enjoy it, it confuses him.

He’s also slightly hurt that Alex can play with his feelings like this, but he represses that, choosing to enjoy it while it lasts.

They find a cozy-looking little diner off the beaten track, and Jack tries to ignore how it feels like they’re on a date.

“How far is the hospital from here?” Alex asks as he peruses the menu. Jack takes his phone out of his pocket, bringing up the map and locating the hospital.

“About a ten-minute walk, apparently,” he responds. Alex purses his lips in thought, nodding.

“Okay, so we have about an hour before we need to be there,” he says.

“Yeah,” Jack responds sombrely.

“You okay?” Alex asks. Jack shrugs.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just… nervous.”

Alex pulls a face. “Why? It’s just a scan, it’s not gonna be that bad. Is it?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Jack says, sighing, “appointments like this always make me feel so dysphoric.”

“Oh,” Alex says softly, biting his lip. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can offer to help, really.”

Jack shrugs again, picking at his fingernails anxiously. “Nothing you could do anyway.” Alex reaches across the table and takes a hold of Jack’s hand gently, squeezing it comfortingly.

“Well, if there is anything I can do, any way I can make this a little easier for you… I’m here.” he murmurs. Jack sighs softly, looking down at the table, and Alex squeezes his hand again.

“I don’t think there is,” Jack answers. “But thanks anyway. What are you ordering?” He adds, changing the subject and removing his hand from Alex’s, picking his menu back up, and Alex blushes slightly, seemingly having forgotten that he was still holding Jack’s hand.

“I don’t know. I think I wanna go for one of their ‘authentic’ burgers. What about you?” Alex says.

“Me too, I think,” Jack responds. “I don’t have much of an appetite, to be honest.”

“Oh, well, we can go somewhere simpler, if you want,” Alex says, but Jack shakes his head.

“No, this place seems nice, and besides, we need to eat at some point.”

By the time they’re sitting in the waiting room in the radiology department, the nerves have come back to Jack with a vengeance.

“So… where did you meet that woman you were with this morning?” Jack asks, thinking of anything to distract himself, although he instantly cringes at how pathetically jealous he sounds.

“The guys and I went out to a bar last night after you went to bed, and she was there,” Alex responds casually. “She approached me, as it happens, and one thing led to another and somehow we ended up back in my room.”

“Was it… good?” Jack asks, trying not to let his jealousy show.

“Honestly? Not really,” Alex responds, much to Jack’s ever-so-slight satisfaction. Although he hates himself for it. “She was into, like… really weird things. I don’t know.”

“Such as?” Jack asks; nosiness be damned, he supposes.

Alex shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. We didn’t do it anyway, ‘cause I wasn’t comfortable with it.”

“I’m intrigued,” Jack comments, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, you’re a nosy fucker,” Alex retorts playfully. Jack chuckles softly.

“Hey, I thought I was your best friend,” Jack says.

“Well, there are some things that even you’re not allowed to know, dude,” Alex responds, wrapping his arm around Jack’s shoulders and kissing the side of his head. Jack’s stomach flutters, and he leans into the embrace a little more; at least his mind has been taken off his nerves.

“Was it really that bad?” Jack murmurs with a small smile.

“You’ll never know,” Alex answers coyly.

They sit in a companionable silence for a few more minutes – mostly because Jack doesn’t want to ruin the moment, to make Alex aware of the fact that they’re still practically cuddling, and that, to the untrained eye, they almost definitely look like a couple – before Jack’s name is called, suddenly making him feel nervous all over again. Seemingly sensing this, Alex squeezes Jack’s side reassuringly, rubbing his back affectionately before they stand up.

“Good afternoon, gentleman. I’m Dr. McIntyre,” the doctor says as they walk in, holding the door open for them before closing it gently behind them. “Which one of you is Jack?” She asks.

“I am,” Jack replies, removing his hoodie and handing it to Alex to hold. The doctor smiles warmly at him.

“Okay, great. If you’d like to climb onto the bed here and we can get started.” Jack does as instructed, and he can’t deny what a relief it is that the doctor didn’t question or even seem surprised at the sight of two men walking into the room.

“Is it okay if I take a seat?” Alex asks courteously.

“Absolutely! Please, make yourself comfortable,” the doctor responds kindly. Alex pulls a chair up to the side of the bed, smiling fondly at Jack as they make eye contact. “Lift your shirt up for me, please,” she continues, holding a bottle of what Jack presumes must be the gel. He lifts up his shirt, and Alex is almost taken aback by the bump that’s already fairly noticeable; since finding out he’s pregnant, Jack has been wearing more layers than usual, and has seemingly been avoiding taking his shirt off in front of other people, so although the baby weight was already starting to show a little despite Jack’s attempts at hiding it, Alex hadn’t actually seen the bump firsthand.

Now that he’s looking at it, it suddenly feels so much more real.

“Have you done this before?” The doctor asks, breaking Alex out of his thoughts. Jack lets out a soft laugh.

“Nope. First time pregnancy right here,” he says.

“Wonderful. In that case, I should warn you that this is probably going to be cold,” she responds, before uncapping the gel and squeezing a small amount onto Jack’s stomach.

“You weren’t kidding,” he mutters, and the doctor smiles. Carefully, she places the wand on Jack’s stomach and starts slowly moving it around. It takes a few minutes, but eventually she finds something. 

“Alright, there it is! Healthy foetus,” the doctor says, and she rotates her screen to face them, holding the wand in place.

“Holy shit,” Jack murmurs, stunned. Part of him had still felt as though this wasn’t real, but seeing their baby on the screen suddenly makes it hit him. He reaches around for Alex’s hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing.

“Holy shit,” Alex repeats in awe. He feels a lump in his throat, and suddenly a few stray tears are running down his cheeks. He wipes his face with his free hand, feeling slightly embarrassed. He lets out a soft sniff, grabbing Jack’s attention accidentally.

“Wow, I thought I’d be the one who’d cry,” he says. Alex laughs tearfully and brushes Jack’s hair out of his face, leaning down and kissing his forehead gently, taking both of them a little by surprise.

“That’s our baby,” he whispers, resting his chin on Jack’s shoulder and looking back at the small blob on the screen.

“Our baby,” Jack echoes, completely content.

Chapter Text

When they arrive back at their hotel, they run into Bill who’s waiting for the lift when they get out on Jack’s floor. 

“Hey guys. You look happy,” he comments, sensing the distinctly couple energy between them. Jack smiles widely. 

“I just had my first scan,” he says excitedly, and reaches into his back pocket, pulling out the small sheet of photos from the scan and handing them to Bill enthusiastically.

“Oh, that’s awesome!” Bill responds. “This is your kid then?” 

“That’s them alright,” Alex says fondly, putting his arm around Jack’s shoulder. Jack’s heart swells at hearing how excited Alex sounds. Bill’s eyes flick between them, clearly sensing that something is going on, before handing the photo back to Jack. 

“I’m really happy for you guys,” he says. “Hey, Alex, can I talk to you for a minute?” Alex pulls a face of surprise, but lets Jack go. 

“I’ll meet you in my room,” Jack says, heading down the hallway. 

“What’s up?” Alex asks, but Bill gives him a disapproving look. 

“What’s going on with you two?” He asks. Alex blinks. 

“What do you mean?” He asks. Bill rolls his eyes. 

“This. All this couple shit.”

“There is no ‘couple shit’,” Alex says defensively. “We’re having a baby together so we went to the scan together. We just saw a picture of our baby for the first time. Excuse us for being a little excited.”

“Don’t give me that shit,” Bill responds, his tone taking Alex by surprise. “I’m talking about the way you’ve been acting with Jack – treating him like your boyfriend. Leading him on. Does he know you fucked a stranger last night?” Alex’s nose flares in irritation. 

“As a matter of fact, he does know. He walked in on us this morning,” he says, folding his arms. Although apparently this was the wrong thing to say. 

“Jesus, Alex,” Bill says, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “You know how he feels about you. You can’t be fucking randoms one minute and then treating Jack like your boyfriend the next. Especially when he’s pregnant with your baby. If you don’t wanna be with him then don’t lead him on.”

“I’m not leading him on,” Alex says quietly, unconvincingly. 

“Do you want to be with him?” Bill asks, a little less harshly. Alex shrugs. 

“I… we’d never work out,” he responds. 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

“Well… yeah…” Alex looks at the floor. He’s never admitted that aloud before. Hell, he was barely able to admit it to himself before he and Jack had sex. And even then, he did a pretty good job of convincing himself that it didn’t mean anything. 

“That’s what I thought,” Bill says gently. He places a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Now why don’t you tell him that?”

By the time Alex gets back to Jack’s room, Jack was almost thinking that Alex had bailed on him. 

“There you are. That took a while, everything okay?” Jack asks when he opens the door for Alex.

“Yeah, Bill was just talking about some interview I may have to do. Nothing important,” Alex lies. Jack shrugs, standing aside to let Alex into the room. “We should celebrate,” Alex says, heading to the minibar. 

“Uh, hello, pregnant? I can’t drink, remember?” Jack says, laughing. 

“I know, but there’s gotta be something non-alcoholic in here, surely,” Alex responds as he opens the door to the minibar. “Here we go,” he adds, holding up a can of orange soda. He takes two glasses off the counter above the minibar and opens the can, pouring half into each glass. “Here,” he says, sitting down on the bed beside Jack and handing him a glass. Jack smiles warmly. 

“Can’t say I’ve ever celebrated anything with orange soda before,” he chuckles. 

“If we’d thought about it, we could’ve got some alcohol-free champagne or something,” Alex says nonchalantly, and his genuine happiness makes Jack’s heart so full. 

If it weren’t for Alex, Jack wonders how differently he’d feel about having a baby. 

“Well, we can do that when we find out the sex,” Jack says. Alex grins, lifting up his glass and tapping it gently against Jack’s.

“To little baby Blobby,” Alex says.

“‘Blobby’?” Jack asks, snorting out a laugh. “Why are you calling our child ‘Blobby’?”

“Because it looks like a blob!” Alex protests, but Jack only laughs harder. 

“Okay, you’ve just lost naming privileges,” Jack jokes. He downs the small amount of orange soda before crossing over to the desk and placing his empty glass on it, taking Alex’s for him and putting it next to his, before sitting back down beside Alex, their thighs touching. Suddenly, his tone turns more serious. “Thank you for today.” Deciding to be bold – and because Alex shouldn’t be the only one who’s allowed to initiate physical contact – he rests his head on Alex’s shoulder, sighing with content and ignoring his brain telling him that it’s a bad idea and that he’s probably going to end up getting hurt. 

“As if I wouldn’t have gone with you,” Alex murmurs. He cautiously wraps his arm around Jack’s waist and considers Bill’s words from before; of course he wants more with Jack – he’s always wanted more. But he can’t shake the fear that they just wouldn’t work out, and that he’d end up losing Jack altogether. He’d rather love Jack from afar for the rest of his life than do irreversible damage to their friendship. 

And not to mention the small part of him that’s terrified of actually admitting his feelings, and of what people would think if they found out that he and Jack were together. He fucking hates that part of him, but it’s there.

But is it fair to deny them a chance without even trying?

“No, I mean, like, the rest of it,” Jack says, interrupting Alex’s train of thought. He rotates his head slightly to look up at Alex, keeping it on Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t think I’d be able to do this without you,” he adds softly, looking deeply into Alex’s eyes. Alex tries to hold back, because he knows that Bill is right – he can’t play with Jack’s feelings like this. But when he feels Jack’s breath on his face, he can’t help himself, and he closes the gap between them, gently pressing his lips against Jack’s.

It’s very different from the last time they kissed – a soft, sweet kiss full of emotion, as opposed to the passionate, heated making out. 

“Wait, what is this?” Jack whispers, pulling away only slightly.

“This isn’t… it’s not- it’s not nothing,” Alex murmurs. He sighs, trying to collect his thoughts and form a more coherent sentence. “I know I’ve kind of been sending mixed signals recently, but this is real, Jack.”

“But what does that mean for us?” Jack asks. “What do you want?” There’s a sadness in Jack’s eyes, and Alex hates that he’s the cause of that. 

What does he want?

Do you want to be with him? Bill’s words from earlier echo in his mind. 

He looks down at Jack, and suddenly the answer is so clear.

“I don’t want to just be friends anymore,” he says boldly. He’s suddenly nervous – what if he’d been misreading Jack’s behaviour the whole time and Jack doesn’t feel the same way, and he’s just spilt his guts for nothing? “I want… I want us to be more. I wanna be with you. I think we’d be good together,” he continues, doubling down in spite of his nerves. 

“Really?” Jack asks, voice so small and so vulnerable. Alex nods firmly.

“Absolutely. I’m done pretending I don’t have feelings for you.” Jack looks up at him with wide eyes, a smile overtaking his face, and he kisses Alex softly again, resting his hand on the side of Alex’s face.

“Are you sure about this?” He whispers.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything,” Alex says, and he manages to ignore how cliché it sounds. “Is this also what you want, though?” He asks, and Jack laughs softly.

“You ask that like I haven’t been wanting it since we were kids,” he says, and Alex pecks his lips again gently. “Is it okay if we take it slow though? I don’t wanna mess this up by rushing into it.”

“I feel like that ship has sailed since you’re already pregnant, dude,” Alex jokes. “But of course we can. We can take it however you want.”

Chapter Text

When Jack and Alex started dating, Alex was worried that things would change between them, or that it would feel forced since they’ve been friends for so long. But to his relief, dating Jack comes so easily that Alex kind of hates himself for being the reason why they didn’t get together several years earlier.

Although better late than never, Alex supposes. Even if it did take him getting Jack pregnant for them to start dating.

Alex suggests to Jack one evening on a day off that they go out for a walk, since it’s still relatively warm out for March and there seems to be a nice park nearby. Jack, of course, enthusiastically agrees, and they walk for about half an hour around a little lake before Jack says that he needs a rest, so they sit on a small bench overlooking the lake.

“This is nice,” Jack says softly, leaning his head on Alex’s shoulder contentedly. Alex smiles, kissing the top of Jack’s head and carefully lifting Jack’s legs and resting them over his lap.

Alex is surprised by how okay he is with being affectionate with Jack in public.

“Let me know if I’m smothering you,” Alex murmurs into Jack’s hair. Jack blushes, grinning widely and cuddling closer to Alex.

“You’re not. This is lovely,” Jack whispers, gently lacing his fingers through Alex’s. “I bet we look like a teen couple, being all affectionate and shit like this,” Jack adds after a moment, laughing quietly. 

“Well, I think we’re allowed. We didn’t get to do this as teenagers,” Alex responds, letting out a soft snort. “I know – that was my fault. But still.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Jack murmurs, nuzzling into Alex’s neck. “At least we’re together now.” Alex feels his heart flutter at Jack’s affection; if it were anyone else, he’d feel smothered and probably a little ridiculous that they’re sitting practically on top of each other. But as he looks down at Jack, the way they’re cuddled up to one another, he notices how perfectly content he feels. 

I love you, he thinks.

No, not yet – they haven’t been dating long enough; he’s not about to scare Jack off by telling him he loves him too soon.

“Hey, do you wanna hang out after soundcheck today?” Alex asks one morning as he and Jack get breakfast in the hotel they’re currently staying in.

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Jack responds, unable to hide the smile that breaks out on his face.

“Okay, awesome. Meet me in my hotel room when we’re done. I wanna take you out somewhere.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. “Anywhere specific?”

“Perhaps. But it’s a surprise,” Alex answers evasively, a cunning smile on his face.

As soon as soundcheck is finished, Jack heads back to his hotel room to change, mostly because it’s only March and so he figures he’ll need a jacket or something if they’re going to brave the outside. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t also want to dress up a little for whatever Alex has planned.

He heads down to Alex’s hotel room about twenty minutes later, and when Alex opens the door, Jack is surprised to hear music coming from within.

“Having fun?” Jack asks with an amused smile. 

“I was just playing this while I got ready,” Alex explains, shutting the door behind Jack. “Dance with me,” he adds, offering Jack a hand. Jack chuckles, but obliges, and he lets Alex lead him around the room in a dance somewhat ill-fitted to the music playing.

“Slow dancing to The Offspring – that’s a new one,” Jack says with a laugh.

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly think that through,” Alex responds, but Jack only laughs louder.

“That’s okay,” he says. “Spin me.” Alex chuckles, twirling Jack slightly awkwardly and with a surprising amount of vigour. “Woah, bad idea,” Jack mutters once he’s stationary again, resting a hand on his stomach as the sudden motion makes it churn uncomfortably.

“You okay?” Alex asks. Jack huffs out a soft laugh, nodding.

“Yeah. Just sudden slight motion sickness. Pregnancy is so much fun,” he responds, standing still for a moment as he waits for the churning to settle.

“Sorry,” Alex says with a laugh, kissing Jack’s forehead.

“It’s okay. Not your fault. Shall we go?”

“Yeah, if you’re ready,” Alex answers.

“Yeah,” Jack says with a nod. “You gonna tell me where we’re going?” He asks, but Alex simply smirks again.

“You’re gonna have to wait and see.”

“Here we are,” Alex says, pulling Jack to a gentle stop outside a bar. Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, bringing your pregnant date to a bar is generally considered not a good idea,” Jack points out with an amused laugh; surely Alex isn’t this dense. But that smug look once again makes its way onto Alex’s face.

“But what if it’s a completely alcohol-free bar?” Alex asks. And Jack’s heart just about melts.

“Wait, seriously?” Jack asks excitedly.

“Yep,” Alex responds proudly. “I saw it when the bus was stopped at a red light yesterday, and I thought it sounded perfect.”

“Wait, how did you figure out it’s alcohol-free?” Jack asks.

“That sign there that says ‘dry bar’,” Alex deadpans, pointing to a sign hanging up on the wall beside the door.

“That would do it,” Jack answers with a chuckle. “This is such a sweet idea. Thank you.”

“I just figured you must be missing drinking, so this seemed almost as good,” Alex says with a nonchalant shrug.

“Oh, God, you’ve got no idea,” Jack says wistfully. “I miss my pre-show beers so bad. And my post-show beers too.” Alex chuckles softly, and they head inside.

They head up to the small bar, and Jack orders a non-alcoholic vodka and Coke, while Alex sticks with a simple alcohol-free beer, and they head over to a small booth in the corner.

“This isn’t bad,” Alex comments with slight surprise, taking a sip from the bottle.

“Mine is actually really good,” Jack says. “You can barely even tell it’s not real,” he adds, and Alex huffs out a soft laugh at Jack’s choice of words. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Alex says softly.

“Well, I will,” Jack says, casually sliding around the booth’s curved bench towards Alex. “You’re real cute, you know that?”

“I bet you say that to all the guys,” Alex quips, loosely putting his arm around Jack’s shoulders.

“Only the really cute ones,” Jack answers.

“You’re so corny,” Alex murmurs with a smile, and Jack snorts quietly.

“Fuck you too.”

“That’s not very nice,” Alex says with a laugh.

“Hey, I just called you cute, what more do you want?” Jack protests, and Alex leans in and kisses him softly. Jack smiles into it, bringing his hand up to rest on the side of Alex’s face, caressing his cheek affectionately.

“Want another drink yet?” Alex asks, pulling away slightly and inclining his head towards Jack’s almost-empty glass.

“Could do. Although I’m definitely gonna have to piss soon,” Jack responds.

Alex snorts softly. “Okay, lightweight.”

“That’s not even what a lightweight is, dumbass,” Jack retorts with a laugh. “But also it’s not my fault – blame the goblin growing inside me,” he adds, but Alex punches his arm playfully. “Hey!”

“Don’t call my baby a goblin!” Alex protests. Jack is about to respond, but suddenly Alex’s words sink in – my baby.

Jack blinks rapidly, trying to stop himself from dissolving into yet more tears. Goddamn hormones.

“Well, you just try being pregnant, asshole,” Jack says, once he’s composed himself a little.

“I’m good, thanks,” Alex responds with a soft chuckle, squeezing Jack’s side and kissing the top of his head sweetly. “Shall I go get us another round, then?”

“Shouldn’t it be my turn?”

“Nope. I brought you here – I’m paying,” Alex says simply, sliding out of the booth and getting to his feet.

“Suit yourself,” Jack says, huffing softly in amusement.

“Same again?” Alex asks.

“Uh, no, this time I think I’ll have one of those beers you had,” Jack answers. Alex nods in response, heading over towards the small bar.

“Thanks for today. It was really nice,” Jack says softly once they’re back in the venue.

“You’re more than welcome, babe,” Alex responds, lacing his fingers through Jack’s and squeezing softly.

“‘Babe’?” Jack questions, turning his head towards Alex and raising an eyebrow.

“Are we not at that stage yet?” Alex asks, suddenly worrying he’s overstepped; Jack did of course say he wanted to take it slow. But Jack smiles warmly.

“I think we are,” he says, squeezing Alex’s hand back. “Although I’ve never heard you use the term ‘babe’ before.”

“I guess I’ve never been with anyone who warranted it,” Alex says. Jack’s heart swells, and he gently pulls Alex to a stop, taking a hold of his hips and pulling him in for a sweet kiss. Alex melts into it easily, wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “As much as I’d love to make out with you all evening, we do sort of have a job to get back to,” Alex murmurs against Jack’s lips.

Jack chuckles softly, feigning a pout. “I don’t wanna,” he whines jokingly.

“Come on, dumbass,” Alex says affectionately. “You’re not throwing your career in the trash over some guy.”

“Hey, you’re not just some guy . You’re my boyfriend.”

“Is that so?” Alex asks, as if he doesn’t love the way it sounds.

“I’d say so, wouldn’t you?” Jack asks, still holding onto Alex’s hips. Alex smiles widely, kissing him again softly.

“Of course I would.”

Chapter Text

“I should really tell my parents I’m pregnant,” Jack wonders aloud one evening.

They’re sitting cuddled up in Jack’s bunk watching a movie on Alex’s iPad, and although it’s a little cramped and they don’t exactly have the same privacy that they do in a hotel room, they’re both completely content.

“Oh yeah? You’re ready to tell them now, then?” Alex asks.

Jack nods slightly. “I think so. Obviously I’m still nervous, but I think I’m ready,” he says softly. “I would’ve liked to tell them in person, but I don’t really wanna turn up at home eight months pregnant being all like, ‘surprise!’.” Alex laughs softly and presses a gentle kiss to Jack’s temple. “I’ve decided I’m gonna tell them on Monday when we’re next in a hotel,” he continues. Alex squeezes Jack’s hip slightly.

“Want moral support?” He asks, and Jack just shrugs, leaning further into Alex’s side.

“I don’t think so, I think this is something I should do on my own. Thank you though,” Jack responds, and Alex smiles down at him, leaning in and pecking his lips softly.

By the time Monday evening comes around, Jack is nervous all over again; he has no doubt his parents will be supportive, but that doesn’t make the thought of having to tell them any easier.

Jack’s mother picks up after only a few rings, her enthusiasm to hear from him evident by her tone.

“Jack, honey! I haven’t heard from you in a while! How have you been?” Jack smiles into the phone.

“Hey, Mom. Sorry, I’ve been meaning to call but it’s just been so busy. Y’know how it is,” Jack says. She chuckles on the other end of the line.

“It’s okay, I understand. I’m just glad to hear from you. How is everything? Are you eating well?” She asks, and Jack smiles – no matter how old he gets, his mother will always worry about him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Listen – I actually have some news. Is Dad there?” He says, and he feels his nerves creep back up.

“Oh, I’m afraid he’s out at the minute. Shall I get him to call you back later?”

“Oh, I did kinda want to speak to both of you together. But never mind, I can call him separately. Are you sitting down?” Jack asks. He himself takes a seat on the hotel bed, crossing his legs and resting his free hand on his stomach, the bump becoming more prominent seemingly by the day.

“Is everything alright?” His mother asks, and Jack can tell he’s worrying her a little, so he reassures her.

“Yeah, everything’s fine, Mom, I promise. Great, actually,” he says, before taking a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, sweetie, that’s wonderful news! Congratulations! Are you seeing someone, then?” She responds, and her reaction lifts a weight off Jack’s shoulders that he didn’t even realise was there.

He laughs softly. “Yeah, I am, although it’s kind of a long story.”

“Well then, don’t keep me in suspense, who are you seeing? Is it anyone I know?” His mother asks.

“Uh, Alex,” he says, unable to ignore the way his stomach flutters when he talks about Alex.

“Oh, I’m so happy to hear that the two of you are finally together. I’ve always thought you two would be perfect for one another,” she responds, and Jack can’t help the smile that makes its way onto his face.

“Yeah, well, we’ve only been together for about a month, actually but we, uh… I’m about four months along. Seventeen weeks,” he says, blushing slightly and suddenly feeling awkward, not quite knowing how to broach this subject with his mother.

“Oh, is it not his?” She asks, confused, and Jack cringes, wishing she’d be able to connect the dots without him having to explicitly explain it to her.

“No, it is,” he responds, shifting awkwardly. “Just, uh, we started dating after I was already pregnant. Because we, um… we, uh, kind of got drunk one night and… yeah…” he trails off, hoping that his mother can finish the rest herself.

“Oh, I see,” she says. “Well, that’s nice. Although I hope you two aren’t just together now for the sake of the baby. If you try to force it, you know, it probably won’t end well. It has to come naturally.”

“We’re not forcing anything,” Jack responds. “We’re taking it slow. It’s actually going great-” he cuts himself off suddenly.

What if Alex is only with him because of the baby? Would he do that to him?

“Anyway, I’m sorry I had to say this over the phone,” Jack continues, trying to ignore the lump in his throat and the way his stomach churns uncomfortably from the sudden anxiety. “I wanted to tell you in person, but by the time we finish touring, I’ll be about eight months along, and I didn’t wanna keep it a secret for that long.” His mother chuckles down the phone.

“It’s okay, honey. I understand. I’m glad you’re happy, and I’m so excited for you,” she says.

“Thanks, Mom. I’m really excited, too. I was a little nervous at first, but I’m actually really looking forward to being a dad,” Jack says with a small smile in spite of himself.

“When are you due?” His mom asks.

“End of September,” Jack responds. “Like, between the twenty-second and the twenty-ninth.”

“Wow, that’s quite soon, really,” she says, and Jack huffs softly.

“Believe me, it feels way too soon and also a lifetime away all at once,” he comments, and his mom chuckles.

“Oh, I remember that feeling well,” she says. “You’re going to have fun being pregnant over the summer when it’s hot all the time.”

“Thanks, mom,” Jack grumbles sarcastically.

His mom chuckles softly again. “Just saying. But don’t worry, you’ve got a while before you need to think about that.”

“Anyway, I should probably, uh, get going,” Jack says, partially wanting to hang up before his mom gets into more details about how pregnancy is only going to get worse – he’d rather live in ignorance for as long as possible.

“You will keep us updated though, won’t you?” She asks. “I hate to think that we won’t get to see you until right before you’re due.”

“Of course I will,” Jack responds. “I’ll send you a photo of the ultrasound afterwards. In fact, we’re gonna find out the sex in a couple weeks.”

“Oh, how exciting!” His mom says wistfully. “Do you have a preference?”

“I don’t know,” Jack answers honestly. “I hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest. I just want a healthy baby.”

“Quite right,” she responds. “Anyway, I should probably let you go now.”

“Bye, Mom. I’ll speak soon. And I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

“You better,” she says, feigning sternness. “Bye, honey,” she adds, before signing off, leaving Jack alone with his thoughts.

He can’t stop focusing on what his mom said. I hope you two aren’t just together now for the sake of the baby.

No, he’s being dramatic – Alex probably isn’t just with him because of the baby. He wouldn’t do that. Would he? No, he wouldn’t. Yet Jack still can’t shake the worry.

He sends a text to Alex, who’s hiding out in his own hotel room room to give Jack some space to call his parents.

Just finished. You can come back up now if you want xx

Several minutes later, there’s a knock at the door, and Jack gets up to answer it.

“Hey, babe. How did it go?” Alex says as Jack opens the door. Jack manages a weak smile.

“Yeah, great,” he says. Alex frowns.

“Did they not react well?” He asks, stepping into the room and letting Jack shut the door behind him.

“It was just my mom, actually. And she did. She was really supportive, actually, and so happy for me,” Jack says, and Alex raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“Why do you seem upset then?” Alex asks. Jack hesitates, not knowing whether or not to tell Alex the truth. But the longer Alex’s eyes bore into his, the more he realises he can’t lie.

“It’s just… something she said made me think about something,” he begins, and Alex gives him a look, encouraging him to continue. “Are you only with me because of the baby?”

“What?” Alex asks, taken aback. “Oh my God, no, of course not! What makes you think that?” He steps forwards and takes Jack’s hands in his own, and Jack looks at the floor self-consciously.

“It’s just that… when I told her that you and I got together after I found out I’m pregnant, she thought we were only together for the sake of the baby. And that kind of made me wonder – you’ve known how I feel about you for years… why did it take me getting pregnant for you to want to be with me?” Jack asks nervously, wrapping his arms around himself anxiously.

“Oh, Jack. I’d never do that to you,” Alex says softly. He steps closer to Jack and tentatively places a hand on his face, giving him a chance to pull away if he wants. “I know the timing looks bad, but I promise I’m not just trying to make us work for the sake of the baby – I really do want to be with you, I promise. I can’t lie and say that finding out that you’re pregnant had nothing to do with it, but, to be honest, it sort of put everything into perspective for me.” He caresses Jack’s cheek softly, and Jack holds Alex’s wrist gently. “I’ve always had feelings for you, Jack, but the truth – the stupid fucking truth – is that I was just too fucking scared to tell you. I was scared of losing you, but also I was scared of what people would think about us being together.” Jack snorts. “Yeah, I know, it’s pathetic. But it’s always stopped me. But then when you told me you’re pregnant, it just… made me realise that none of the other shit matters, y’know? Everything that was holding me back suddenly seemed so stupid. Also, I gotta be honest, Bill kinda talked some sense into me the other day, after your scan.”

“That’s what you were talking about?” Jack asks in a small voice. Alex gives him a sad smile.

“Yeah. He basically told me that I was being a dick to you, and that I should either stop playing with your feelings or be honest with you about how I feel. That’s the truth, Jack,” Alex says, still resting his hand on Jack’s cheek. Jack lets out a shaky sigh, nodding. “I’m sorry I ever let you think I didn’t really want to be with you,” Alex adds, leaning his forehead against Jack’s.

“You don’t need to apologise. It’s not your fault. I think I just got into my own head,” Jack responds, and Alex carefully wraps his arms around Jack, pulling him into a hug.

“I care about you so much, you know,” Alex murmurs, kissing the side of Jack’s head lovingly. Jack says nothing, instead he buries his nose into Alex’s shoulder, breathing in his scent as he hugs Alex more tightly.

Alex decides to break the news to his own parents a few days later. After consulting Jack, of course.

He decides to do it while Jack is in the shower one evening when they’re in another hotel. And for some reason he’s suddenly nervous.

He feels silly being nervous – Jack’s the one who’s pregnant; it must’ve been much harder for him to tell his parents that he’s pregnant than it is for Alex to break the news to his own parents that he got someone else pregnant.

But it’s not just about that, and Alex knows that; it’s also about the fact that he’s about to tell his parents that he’s dating a man. He doesn’t even know what his sexuality is himself, so the thought of coming out to his parents makes him nervous. Even though he knows they’ll be supportive, he still can’t shake the nerves. Especially since not being straight is very new even to him.

Alex mentally counts down from three before biting the bullet and phoning his mom. She picks up after three rings, slightly surprised to hear from him since she phoned him only several days ago.

“Alex?” She answers as she picks up. “Is everything okay?”

“Hey, Mom,” Alex says, trying to hide the nerves in his voice. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just calling because I actually have something I need to tell you.”

“You couldn’t tell me the other day?” She asks, joking but also curious. Alex chuckles, trying to alleviate his anxiety a little.

“Well, it kind of… involves someone else,” Alex responds cryptically.

“Oh, you haven’t gotten someone pregnant, have you?” His mom jokes, and Alex feels his stomach churn nervously. “ Have you?” She adds after Alex doesn’t respond for a few moments.

“Uh… kinda…” Alex replies, trailing off awkwardly.

This might not go as he expected.

“Oh… wow,” his mom responds. “Is she a girlfriend, or…?”

“What? No, it’s not like that-”

“She’s a stranger?” Alex’s mom interjects, sounding somewhat concerned.

“No, no, no, Mom, listen,” Alex says. “It’s not-” he cuts himself off, sighing quietly and resting his forehead in his hand. “It’s Jack.”

“Jack’s pregnant?” She responds. “Oh, how lovely!”

“Yeah, but Mom, listen – Jack and I are dating. I’m… I’m gay. Or bi, I’m not really sure,” Alex says, the words tumbling out of him as he feels his heart pounding with nerves.

“Oh, well, it’s about time,” Alex’s mom responds, and Alex is taken aback slightly.

“What’s that now?” Alex asks, somewhat confused. His mom laughs softly on the other end.

“Really, Alex, all these years later and you still think I never noticed you and Jack pining over each other?” She responds. “You two were so obvious it was almost infuriating.”

“Huh,” Alex says, not knowing how else to react; he’d really thought his mom would be surprised to hear that he’s dating his best friend of ten years.

“Anyway, I’m really happy for you, Alex,” his mom continues, laughing softly at Alex’s reaction, “and I’m so happy that you and Jack are finally together. I’ve always thought you’d be great for each other.” Alex smiles warmly, his heart fluttering softly at the thought of Jack.

“Yeah, I really love him,” Alex says, lowering his voice slightly so that Jack doesn’t hear – he doesn’t want the first time Jack hears Alex say he loves him to be hearing him say it to someone else over the phone.

“Believe me, I can tell,” his mom responds. “Oh, I’m so pleased for you, honey. I can’t believe you’re gonna be a dad!” She lets out a soft chuckle, sounding slightly emotional. “Anyway, I’m afraid I have to run a couple of errands, so I’m gonna have to love you and leave you.”

“Okay, Mom. I’ll speak soon. Love you.”

“I love you too, hon,” she responds before hanging up. Alex drops his phone beside him on the bed and lies down on his back, sighing heavily. He’s surprised by how much that was clearly weighing on him, because he feels so much lighter and freer now.

Jack finally re-emerges from the bathroom several minutes later, his towel wrapped around his hips.

“How did it go?” He asks, standing at the foot of the bed and looking down at Alex.

“Turns out my mom has always known I had a crush on you. Even before I did,” Alex responds, chuckling softly and propping himself up with his elbows. Jack laughs and sits next to Alex, lying down on his back so that they’re level. “She was so happy to hear that we’re together, though,” Alex continues. “My mom loves you.”

“Well, that’s me – beloved by moms everywhere,” Jack jokes, rolling onto his side and facing Alex. Alex lets out a fond laugh, caressing Jack’s face with his hand.

“You’re adorable,” Alex murmurs, a loving smile on his face.

“Thanks, I try,” Jack responds. Alex chuckles softly and pecks Jack’s lips gently, bringing his hand down to rest on Jack’s stomach.

Chapter Text

Jack arrives at Alex’s hotel room at seven that evening, as per Alex’s cryptic instructions, and when Alex opens the door, Jack’s surprised to be met with the smell of food.

“Did you order takeout or something?” Jack asks, peering into the room. Alex just chuckles softly, stepping aside to let Jack enter. “Wait a minute, why is your room so much nicer than mine?” Jack asks incredulously, as his eyes land on the small kitchen area.

“What’s wrong with yours?” Alex asks.

“I don’t have a kitchen in mine,” Jack responds. “Guess you’re just Bill’s favourite, huh,” he adds jokingly, and Alex snorts softly.

“It’s not like that,” he answers, and Jack raises an eyebrow in amusement.

“Oh yeah? Then what is it like?”

“I… don’t know, actually,” Alex says, and Jack chuckles. “I’m sure I got no special treatment, though. Honest.”

“I know, I’m just fucking with you,” Jack says with a fond smile. “Anyway, what’s all this?” He adds, gesturing his head towards the frying pan sitting on the small stove, simmering some onion and butter, and the array of food on the counter.

“I thought I’d make us dinner tonight,” Alex answers with a smile, and Jack can’t ignore the way his heart melts just a little. “Just thought it would be a nice thing to do since this room has a kitchen.”

“That sounds lovely,” Jack says genuinely, and he presses a sweet kiss onto Alex’s lips. “What are you making for us then?”

“I thought I’d make a pork and vegetable stir-fry,” Alex responds. “I know it’s not very exciting, but there’s, like, only a stove, and not many pots.”

“That sounds really nice,” Jack says. “Seriously, Alex, this is so sweet.”

“I hope it’s good,” Alex says. “I’m not really following a recipe, I’m just kinda throwing shit into a pan and seeing how it goes,” he admits sheepishly. But Jack just laughs again, pressing another kiss onto Alex’s lips and lingering a moment.

“I’m sure it’s gonna be awesome,” Jack comments, still wearing the same amused grin. “What’s there to do next? Why don’t we get started?” He tilts his head over towards the kitchen area, but Alex frowns

“Oh, don’t worry, babe, I can do this. Why don’t you go sit down?” Alex answers, earning a soft huff from Jack.

“I’m pregnant, not an invalid. I can still do shit like cooking.”

Alex rolls his eyes “It’s not ‘cause you’re pregnant, dumbass. The plan was for me to cook for you. I didn’t invite you down here to come cook your own dinner.”

“Hey, cooking together can be fun,” Jack points out, still smiling.

“Fine, be my guest,” Alex says, huffing out a quiet laugh. “But just so you know, you’re being a bad date right now.”

“Au contraire; I’m just adding a little whimsy,” Jack quips, making Alex snort softly.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute,” Alex murmurs, pulling Jack close and kissing him sweetly.

“So, tell me,” Jack starts, making his way over to the counter and absentmindedly arranging some of the various food items ready to cut them up, “how many other people have had the privilege of you cooking for them?”

Alex chuckles. “Just Lauren.” Hearing the name of Alex’s most recent – and, to date, most serious – girlfriend is a strange feeling for Jack, because his gut reaction is to be jealous, and he almost has to remind himself that he and Alex are finally together. “But it didn’t go great,” Alex continues, “I burnt the shit out of it, and she spent most of the dinner kinda sulking about it.”

Jack snorts softly. “It’s crazy how long you guys stayed together.”

Alex shrugs. “Yeah, well, she didn’t wanna be alone, and I was a closeted queer guy who subconsciously needed a girlfriend to make him appear straight.” He chuckles nervously at the end, and Jack lightly brushes his fingertips across the back of Alex’s hand.

“At least you’ve figured yourself out now, huh,” Jack says with a small smile.

“It may have taken some time, but I guess I got there in the end,” Alex agrees.

“What would you classify yourself as?” Jack asks after a pause, almost hesitating. “I mean, it doesn’t matter – labels aren’t important. Just like who you like. I’m just… curious.”

Alex shrugs again, looking down. “I don’t know, to be honest.” He randomly retrieves the knife from where he left it on the counter, beginning to slice up a red bell pepper as he mulls over Jack’s question. “When I told my mom that you’re pregnant and that we’re dating, I kinda told her that I’m gay,” he continues. “But then I thought about it, and I realised I’m probably more likely bisexual, I guess. I mean, I wasn’t faking it when I dated women, so.”

“Like I said, you don’t need to label yourself if you don’t want to,” Jack says. “I was just curious.”

“No, it’s okay,” Alex answers. “I’ve thought about it a little, to be honest. I mean, you don’t just start dating a guy and not wonder what your sexuality is.” He chuckles softly at the end, lightening the tone just a little. “But, yeah, I guess I’d most accurately say that I’m bi.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jack says, nodding as he considers Alex’s words.

“When did you realise you liked guys, then?” Alex asks, but Jack snorts, much to Alex’s surprise.

“That’s one thing about myself that I’ve never had to question, to be honest. Working out my gender may have been a challenge, but I’ve always been sure of my sexuality. Plus, y’know, it helped that I had a crush on you since, like, the day I met you,” he jokes, huffing out a soft laugh at his own expense.

“Is that so?” Alex asks with a raised eyebrow.

Jack snorts quietly. “As if you didn’t know.”

“I guess I had my suspicions,” Alex admits, an amused smile on his face. “I’m just that irresistable, huh?”

“Don’t flatter yourself – I was a horny teenager; I basically had a crush on anyone who looked at me,” Jack quips, and Alex snorts.

“You really know how to make a guy feel special,” he jokes. “I’m making you dinner and everything. Emphasis on ‘I’m’, by the way.”

“Hey, you said you didn’t invite me up here to come cook,” Jack points out with a laugh, and Alex joins in.

“You’re the one who said you wanted to help,” Alex reminds him.

“Touché,” Jack says, smirking. He grabs a spare knife from the drawer beneath the counter and picks up a leek, beginning to slice it on the other end of the chopping board.

They prepare the food in relative silence for a few minutes before Jack suddenly puts everything down, shooting off to the bathroom before Alex can even react. Just as Alex is about to ask Jack if he’s okay, he hears muffled noises of Jack throwing up, and he winces slightly; he knows it’s normal, but that doesn’t stop him from wishing there were something he could do to help, some way he could make it easier for Jack.

Jack reemerges a couple minutes later, and Alex flashes him a sympathetic smile.

“You okay?” He asks. Jack returns the smile, nodding gently.

“Yeah. Guess I was being a little too optimistic when I thought that that had stopped,” he comments with a slightly bitter smile.

“If you don’t feel up to eating, I won’t be offended,” Alex says. “We can just hang out instead, if you want.”

Jack shakes his head. “I’m fine, honestly. It’s really weird – I can go from being completely fine to throwing up back to being fine again.”

Dinner ends up being surprisingly nice – simple but good – and the conversation flows so easily that one would think that they’ve been doing this for years.

They decide to watch a movie afterwards, cuddled up together on the large hotel bed with Alex’s laptop serving as a TV and resting on their thighs.

“Do you wanna stay here tonight?” Alex suggests softly as Jack yawns.

“What, rather than have to walk all the way back up the corridor?” Jack quips, and Alex rolls his eyes.

“No, dumbass. I was just asking ‘cause you’re my boyfriend, and I want you to stay over,” he points out. “If you want to,” he adds after a moment, not wanting Jack to feel pressured.

“I’m just fucking with you,” Jack answers with a soft chuckle. “Of course I wanna stay.”

“Okay,” Alex says, grinning widely. He leans towards Jack to kiss him, but Jack pulls away before he can.

“I threw up earlier, just in case you forgot,” Jack reminds him. “I think you’d probably rather I brushed my teeth first.”

“Good point,” Alex responds, laughing softly, and instead he kisses Jack’s forehead sweetly.

“I might just go do that quickly, actually,” Jack says, disentangling himself from Alex and getting up off the bed. “Plus I need to get something to sleep in.”

“I mean, you can always wear something of mine,” Alex offers. “I know that’s, like, super cliché, but y’know.”

“I kinda like the sound of that, actually,” Jack says with a lovesick smile on his face, feeling like a teenager with a crush all over again. “I’m still gonna go brush my teeth, though. Be back in, like, five minutes.” He exits the room without another word, and Alex pauses the movie before getting up from the bed, deciding to change into his own pyjamas just for the sake of it.

Jack returns very promptly almost exactly five minutes later, and Alex can’t help but laugh slightly.

“Very punctual. I’m impressed,” he comments as he opens the door once again.

“What can I say? I have great time management skills,” Jack responds with a chuckle. “You look comfy.”

“Well, I figured an evening of movies called for it,” Alex says. “C’mon – what do you wanna wear?” He adds, leading Jack over towards his half-unpacked suitcase beside the small sofa.

“Honestly, I’m good with just wearing a t-shirt. I’ve been getting pretty hot at night recently. Hormones and all that shit.” Alex nods thoughtfully, rummaging through his suitcase. He eventually pulls one out from about halfway towards the bottom, tossing it towards Jack.

“How’s this one?” He asks. “It’s kinda big, but it’s really soft, and not too hot.”

“That’s great, thanks,” Jack says with a small smile. “I’ll just, uh, go get changed.”

“You can get changed here, babe,” Alex comments. “I don’t care. Besides, you’re my boyfriend – it’s kinda normal.”

“I don’t know,” Jack mumbles, feeling uneasy at the thought of taking his shirt off in front of Alex, and Alex seeing how much weight he’s already gained.

He knows it’s a normal part of pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t insecure about it.

“You know I’ve already seen you naked, right?” Alex jokes.

“Yeah,” Jack answers with a weak smile. “Just not… recently.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks with a frown. “Are you insecure?”

“Kinda,” Jack admits. “I’m getting so fat.”

“You’re pregnant,” Alex points out.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the way I look,” Jack responds, crossing his arms across his body self-consciously.

“Hey,” Alex says softly, approaching Jack and placing his hands on Jack’s waist gently. “Obviously I’m not gonna force you to change in front of me, but I just want you to know that I think you’re beautiful.” He kisses Jack sweetly, and Jack practically melts against him.

“You haven’t seen me underneath my clothes, though,” Jack says, pulling away slightly.

“I have, actually,” Alex points out. “Just the other day, you took a shower in my hotel room. Remember?”

Jack shrugs. “Yeah, but I feel like I’ve ballooned since then even. I don’t know, I just don’t like the way I look right now.”

“Well, I do,” Alex says.

“For now,” Jack mutters.

“Hey, no matter what you look like, I’m still gonna find you attractive. I promise.”

Jack gives a small smile at this. “Why are you so sweet to me?”

“Because I care about you,” Alex says, placing his hand on the side of Jack’s face. “I want you to be happy. And besides, I’m just being honest.” Jack’s smile widens, and he kisses Alex again softly. “Want me to show you how attractive I think you are?” Alex adds, glancing over towards the bed.

“Are you trying to get into my pants?” Jack asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe. If you want.”

“I do want,” Jack answers with a chuckle, and Alex carefully guides him over to the bed, pushing him back down onto it and leaning over him, kissing him heatedly. He blindly shuts his laptop that’s still sitting in the middle of the bed and pushes it aside.

“Can I?” Alex asks softly, his hands gently tugging at the buckle of Jack’s jeans.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Jack responds, and Alex quickly unbuttons Jack’s jeans, pulling them down and off in one smooth motion.

“You can leave your t-shirt on if you feel more comfortable,” Alex murmurs. Jack sits up slightly, leaning back on his elbows as he considers Alex’s words – on the one hand, he would rather leave his t-shirt on, rather not have Alex see the bloated mess he currently feels he is. But then on the other hand, Alex is so caring and considerate that Jack feels completely at ease around him, and he has no doubt that Alex meant what he said.

“Well, I guess you’re gonna see me shirtless at some point or another,” Jack says, before sitting upright and pulling his t-shirt over his head before he has a chance to get inside his head again.

“Are you sure?” Alex asks. “I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I’m not, honestly,” Jack responds. “You make me feel safe. I trust you.” Alex’s heart melts slightly at Jack’s words, and he closes the gap between them again, kissing Jack lovingly.

“You’re beautiful,” Alex whispers against Jack’s lips, gently pushing his shoulder so that he’s lying down again. “So sexy.” He pulls away again and instead starts kissing down Jack’s neck, making his way to its base and sucking and nibbling on Jack’s skin gently. Jack lets out a soft moan, almost involuntarily, and Alex takes that as a sign to continue. His hand starts roaming around Jack’s body, across his chest, down his waist, and and it makes its way down to the waistband of Jack’s boxers. “Is this okay?” Alex asks softly, lifting his head back up and looking Jack in the eye.

“Y-yeah. Touch me, please,” Jack murmurs, and Alex dips his hand into Jack’s boxers, finding his clit easily. Jack gasps, leaning his head back against the pillow and enjoying the sensation.

“You’re so wet already,” Alex comments in a low voice, connecting his lips to Jack’s once more. But before Jack has a chance to start properly enjoying it, Alex removes his hand once again.

“Fucking tease,” Jack says, making Alex laugh softly.

“I had a better idea,” he says, sitting back on his knees. “Can I?” He asks again, hooking his fingers inside Jack’s waistband. Jack nods enthusiastically, and Alex removes Jack’s underwear, leaving Jack fully naked in front of him and giving them both a slight feeling of déjà vu. “Spread your legs,” Alex instructs gently, and Jack can’t deny how much the words turn him on. He obliges easily, and Alex leans down and lightly runs his tongue over Jack’s clit. Jack releases a surprised moan, bringing his hands to Alex’s hair immediately and pulling gently on the ends.

“That’s so good,” Jack breathes as Alex continues working his tongue. Alex smirks slightly to himself, working his tongue harder. Jack releases a shuddery gasp, his eyes slipping shut in pleasure, and already he feels himself getting close.

Alex wraps his hands around Jack’s thighs, spreading them wider, but Jack quickly disentangles one of them, linking their fingers together instead. Alex’s heart swells from the simple gesture, and he squeezes Jack’s fingers between his own affectionately.

“I’m so close,” Jack gasps, his back arching as he feels himself nearing the edge. “Fuck- I’m gonna cum.” Alex works his tongue harder, and Jack tips over the edge quickly, cumming hard with a loud moan. “Fuck,” Jack breathes once he’s caught his breath, lying motionlessly. Alex chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to Jack’s inner thigh before coming to lie beside him, brushing his hand across Jack’s chest lovingly.

“Do you believe that I think you’re beautiful now?” Alex murmurs, earning a surprised laugh from Jack.

“I think so,” Jack answers, turning his head to face Alex and kissing him softly. “I gotta piss. Be right back,” he adds, staggering upright. “God, no one tells you how being pregnant takes away all your core strength,” he mutters as he heads off to the bathroom.

“Wanna continue with the movie?” Alex asks once Jack returns from the bathroom.

“I guess so,” Jack responds, pulling his boxers back on before retrieving the t-shirt Alex lent him to sleep in and sliding it over his head. “This is soft,” he comments, fiddling with the hem of the t-shirt.

“It’s so comfortable,” Alex says as Jack settles down beside him once again. “I practically live in it sometimes. But don’t worry, I promise it’s clean,” he adds when he sees Jack raise an eyebrow.

“Good to know,” Jack answers with a chuckle. “It smells like you, by the way.”

“What do I smell like?”

“Nice. Like, warm and fresh. I don’t know how to explain it, you just smell good. Familiar and kinda like home,” Jack responds, and Alex grins widely, feeling his chest swell with affection.

“Is that so?” He asks, wrapping his arm around Jack and pulling him close.

“I’d know – I smell you every time I hug you,” Jack jokes, and Alex snorts softly.

“That doesn’t sound creepy,” Alex retorts, making Jack laugh.

“What could possibly be creepy about that?”

“You’re lucky you’re too cute to be creepy,” Alex comments.

“Okay, corny.”

“Hey, I was being nice, asshole,” Alex protests.

Jack snorts. “Yeah, and it really shows when you insult me.” Alex laughs loudly, wrapping his other arm around Jack and rolling them over. “Stop, I’m too top-heavy for this!” Jack exclaims as he roughly topples on top of Alex.

“Sorry,” Alex says, still laughing.

“It’s alright. This is nice,” Jack responds, adjusting himself slightly so that he’s lying down with his head resting on Alex’s chest. “I can smell you really well like this.”

“Okay, that definitely sounds just a little creepy,” Alex says with a soft chuckle, wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders once again.

“It was supposed to,” Jack says, smiling contentedly to himself.

“What you said before was really cute, though,” Alex adds softly.

“Which part?” Jack asks, rotating his head to look up at Alex.

“Where you were describing what I smell like,” Alex clarifies, meeting Jack’s eyes with a soft smile. “It was just… really sweet.” Jack lifts himself up slightly, returning the smile, and he leans forward and kisses Alex sweetly.

“Alex,” Jack murmurs, propping himself up on one elbow and looking Alex deep in the eye.

“You okay?” Alex asks softly, resting his hand gently on the side of Jack’s face and caressing his cheekbone lovingly.

“I…” Jack starts, before trailing off. I love you, his mind finishes for him. But suddenly it’s like reality hits him – he and Alex have only been together for about six weeks; telling his boyfriend of six weeks that he loves him?

Is he out of his mind?

Granted, his feelings for Alex run far deeper than just the short amount of time they’ve been together. But there’s no way that Alex is on the same page as Jack. And when Jack was the one who asked for them to take it slow, telling Alex that he loves him this soon seems borderline hypocritical.

Jack shakes his head slightly, pulling himself out of his thoughts. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“No, what was it?” Alex asks, brushing Jack’s hair out of his face.

“I… I just wanted to say that I’m really happy,” Jack says, before immediately cringing at himself for sounding so corny.

“Yeah?” Alex asks, his face breaking out in a wide smile. Jack nods. “Well… I’m really happy, too. Just so you know,” Alex adds, still caressing Jack’s face affectionately. “I just wish I could’ve gotten over myself sooner and asked you out, rather than pretend for years that I didn’t have feelings for you.”

Jack rolls his eyes playfully, a fond smile on his face. “How many times have I told you to stop beating yourself up over that?”

“I know, I know. I just feel like an asshole about it,” Alex answers with a soft laugh.

“Well, don’t,” Jack says simply. “We’re together now, that’s all that matters.”

“You’re so wise,” Alex comments.

“That’s me,” Jack responds. “Why don’t we finish the movie?”

“Good idea,” Alex says, sitting up and reaching for his laptop which has since been discarded at the end of the bed, opening it and resuming the movie. With a groan, Jack rolls back onto his back, staggering into a slight seated position with his back resting against the pillows.

“I swear it takes five business days just to roll over,” Jack mutters as Alex moves to sit beside him again. Alex laughs softly but doesn’t respond, wrapping his arm back around Jack’s shoulders and pulling Jack into his side once again.

They watch in silence for the most part, just enjoying each other’s company, and at some point Alex’s free hand absentmindedly comes to rest on Jack’s stomach. Jack smiles softly to himself, lacing his fingers through Alex’s and squeezing his fingers affectionately.

Chapter Text

It took as much hassle to book as the first scan, but suddenly Jack’s second scan is right around the corner. And this time they’re going to discover the sex.

“Do you have a preference?” Alex asks, sitting on the edge of the hotel bed and pulling on his shoes.

Jack shrugs. “I don’t really mind, to be honest. Just as long as we have a healthy baby, that’s what’s important to me,” he says, struggling slightly to put on his own shoes on account of the ever-growing bump. “What about you?”

“I don’t know, I mean, I don’t mind either – our baby being healthy is all that matters to me, too – but I kind of love the thought of having a boy,” Alex responds, smiling softly. “Can you imagine? He’d probably be such a perfect mashup of us.”

Jack chuckles. “Do we not want our kid to be their own person?”

“Of course,” Alex says, huffing out a laugh. “Just saying – he’d probably look like both of us combined. It would be so cute.” He pauses for a moment, considering his next words, before adding, “y’know, I’ve already started imagining what they’re gonna be like.”

“Really?” Jack asks, feeling his heart swell with affection.

Alex nods. “Yeah. Like, will they be popular? Will they be creative? Will they be confident and charming like you?” Jack grins widely, resting his head on Alex’s shoulder.

“I hope they’re just like you,” he murmurs, placing his hand on Alex’s thigh affectionately.

Jack is much less nervous for this scan than he was for the first – in fact, as they sit in the waiting room, Jack genuinely can’t wait.

“Hey, just wondering, are you gonna, like, announce your pregnancy to the fans or anything?” Alex asks while they wait their turn.

“I don’t know,” Jack says. “I kind of want to because I don’t wanna just, like, pretend I don’t have a child. But also I don’t want people knowing our personal business. What do you think?”

“I mean, you’re not gonna be able to hide it forever,” Alex says. “Even with all the baggy hoodies you’ve been wearing, you’re definitely starting to show a little. Also, uh, I found this. I wasn’t sure whether or not to show you.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, opening the Tumblr app and finding a post he’d saved a couple days ago. Jack takes the phone from Alex and looks at it; the post seems to be a fan theory – he’s seen enough of those in his time, and usually he pays no attention to them – except this time it seems to be alarmingly accurate. The person who made the post has gathered a concerning number of photos of Jack from the tour and has arranged them all chronologically, comparing and contrasting. The post points out the number of layers that Jack has been wearing during shows, and at one point, it even goes as far as to point out that it’s ‘obvious’ that he’s gained weight.

Intrigued, Jack opens the comments, and sure enough, most are agreeing with the post. There are even several people saying that they thought they ‘felt something’ when he hugged them at their meet-and-greets.

The fans sure are perceptive, Jack has to hand it to them. If somewhat invasive.

Oddly enough, however, the post doesn’t concern or alarm Jack as much as he would’ve expected; a couple weeks ago, he’d have been horrified at the thought that fans are starting to notice that he’s pregnant, but now? He doesn’t seem to mind that much. In fact, it almost seems freeing.

“Maybe I’ll make a short post later to announce it,” Jack says. Alex raises an eyebrow at him.

“You’re not upset?” He asks. “When I saw it, I was worried you’d freak out.” Jack laughs softly.

“Yeah, well don’t get me wrong – if you’d shown this to me a month ago, I probably would’ve hidden away for the rest of the tour,” he says. “But honestly, I really don’t mind now.” Alex takes a hold of his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Well, whatever you do, I’ll be right behind you the whole way,” he says, squeezing Jack’s hand comfortingly.

“Really?” Jack responds. “Even if it means people finding out about us?”

“Of course,” Alex murmurs. “I was an idiot – I shouldn’t have been so scared about what people would think about us dating, but I’m past that now; I’m not about to pretend my own child isn’t mine because people might have negative opinions.” Jack can’t deny the relief he feels at this. Wordlessly, he leans his head on Alex’s shoulder and squeezes his hand, silently conveying his appreciation.

“So, have you been having any problems?” The doctor asks as Jack takes a seat on the examination bed, leaning back against the crinkly paper.

“I mean, I get tired and achy a lot these days, but other than that, I’m fine. I haven’t had much morning sickness in a while, it’s only occasional now,” Jack responds. 

“Don’t worry, that’s all quite normal at your stage. Morning sickness tends to stop around week twenty, so luckily you likely won’t have to worry about that at all anymore,” The doctor responds, before sitting down on the chair beside the examination bed, taking out the gel. “I take it you want to know the sex today?”

“Yeah, I think we’re ready,” Jack responds, turning his head to look at Alex, smiling warmly. Alex smiles back at him, taking a hold of Jack’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, squeezing Jack’s hand.

“Wonderful. Are you ready for me to begin, then?” The doctor asks Jack. Jack nods, and she carefully applies the gel onto his stomach before taking out the ultrasound wand, gently placing the end on Jack’s stomach

It takes a few moments, but eventually the doctor manages to locate the baby, and as she turns the screen to show them, Jack can’t help but notice how much bigger it looks already, his heart swelling.

“Wow, look at that,” Alex comments softly, gazing in awe at the screen.

“It’s starting to look like an actual baby now,” Jack says, smiling widely.

“Everything seems to be looking good,” the doctor says, “and it looks like you’re having a girl,” she adds. Jack’s eyes widen, his face lighting up.

“We’re having a girl!” He exclaims excitedly, turning back to look at Alex, whose expression practically matches his own. He leans down and presses a loving kiss onto Jack’s lips, stroking Jack’s hair with his free hand.

“A girl,” Alex responds happily.

They celebrate by going out to a nearby restaurant for dinner that evening, and as they sit at the table waiting for their food, there’s an obvious, almost infectious happiness settling over them.

“We’re having a little girl,” Jack comments softly, gazing at the ultrasound photos once again. “Y’know,” he adds, “I kinda think I actually wanted a girl.”

“Yeah?” Alex asks, smiling softly. Jack nods.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d have been happy either way. But I feel like I was kinda hoping for a girl.”

“Let me see the photos again,” Alex says softly. Jack hands him the ultrasound pictures, and Alex grins widely as he looks at them again. “Wow. That’s our daughter,” he murmurs. Jack’s heart swells, and he reaches across the table and takes a hold of Alex’s free hand, lacing their fingers together.

“We can start thinking of names now,” Jack comments, still smiling widely. “Any ideas?”

“Man, I don’t know,” Alex answers. “There are a lot of names I like, but none that especially stick out to me.”

Jack chuckles softly. “I’m sure we’ll find something we like. And I guess we don’t need to decide right now.”

They make their way back to the hotel after dinner hand in hand, their spirits still high.

When they arrive back at their hotel, Alex walks Jack to his room, and Jack gently pulls him to a stop outside the door, taking a hold of his hips and kissing him softly.

“Do you want to come in?” Jack murmurs, pulling back slightly and looking Alex in the eye.

“I’d love to,” Alex breathes with a small smile, which Jack returns, kissing Alex sweetly again before opening the door to the room.

Jack quickly pulls Alex back into a kiss once they shut the door behind them, guiding Alex towards the bed, and the kiss heats up quickly. Alex gently pushes Jack back down onto the bed, leaning over him and continuing to kiss him heatedly.

“Do you want to do this?” Alex murmurs, pulling back slightly.

“I gotta point out that we already have,” Jack responds with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but that was before,” Alex points out. “I thought you wanted to take this slow.”

Jack nods. “I did. I do. But I wanna do this,” he responds, his hand resting on the side of Alex’s face. “Do you want this?”

“Of course I want this,” Alex says, closing the gap and kissing Jack sweetly. Jack wraps his arms around Alex’s middle, pulling him close, and they deepen the kiss again.

Jack’s hands slowly make their way up Alex’s t-shirt, running up and down his skin as Alex deftly pulls Jack’s sweatpants down with one hand. Jack kicks them off the rest of the way before removing Alex’s shirt for him, and Alex reciprocates the action before removing his own jeans, leaving them both in their underwear.

Jack reaches his hand into Alex’s boxers and starts stroking him, slowly but surely, making Alex gasp into Jack’s mouth. Jack smirks slightly at Alex’s reaction, and gently he pushes on Alex’s shoulder, wordlessly encouraging him to roll over. Alex obliges easily, flipping them over so that he’s lying on his back with Jack leaning over him, barely breaking the kiss.

“Get these off,” Jack murmurs against Alex’s lips, tugging lightly on the waistband of Alex’s underwear. Alex quickly shuffles them down, kicking them off and discarding them on the floor. Jack pulls back and sits up slightly, taking a hold of Alex’s cock again. “Can I?” Jack whispers.

“God, please do,” Alex responds, and Jack immediately leans down and takes Alex’s cock into his mouth. Alex moans softly as Jack sucks on the head, running his tongue over the slit occasionally. He takes in as much of Alex as he can, working the rest with his hand, and Alex gasps and moans beneath him, running his hands through Jack’s hair and pulling gently on the ends. “Fuck, that’s so good,” Alex breathes, arching his back and leaning his head back into the pillow. Jack continues working Alex, running his tongue up the underside of Alex’s cock, and Alex’s breath hitches in his throat from pleasure. “I’m close,” Alex murmurs, his muscles beginning to tense up slightly as he starts to near the edge. Suddenly, however, Jack pulls away, smirking as Alex whines quietly at the lack of contact, and leans up to press a soft kiss to Alex’s lips

“Fuck me, Alex,” Jack whispers in a sultry voice that almost makes Alex cum on the spot. Wordlessly, Alex sits up and gently encourages Jack to lie back down. He removes Jack’s underwear before leaning down and kissing Jack passionately again.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that we probably don’t need a condom,” Alex murmurs, and Jack laughs into the kiss.

“I think you might be right,” he responds, and Alex smiles softly.

He sits upright again and parts Jack’s legs, kneeling between them and pressing the tip of his cock teasingly against Jack’s entrance without actually pushing in, and he almost has to bite back a moan at how wet Jack feels already.

After a moment, he slowly pushes in, and they both moan practically in unison. Once Alex is in the whole way, he sets a steady rhythm.

“You feel so good,” Alex whispers, although his leisurely pace almost suggests otherwise.

“You can go a little faster,” Jack murmurs after a moment. Wordlessly, Alex picks up his pace, although it’s ever so slightly faster that Jack barely notices the difference. “I said you can go faster, Alex.”

“I am,” Alex responds, looking down at Jack. Jack frowns.

“No, like, faster faster,” Jack responds, and Alex stops entirely. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“I just don’t wanna hurt you,” Alex says, and Jack rolls his eyes.

“You won’t hurt me, Alex,” Jack says. “And if you did, I’d tell you, but you won’t, okay?” Alex purses his lips but nods, and he starts moving again, although still only at the same laid back speed. In an attempt to get Alex to start actually moving faster, Jack grabs onto Alex’s shoulders, pulling his body down towards him. Alex goes tense, however, when his stomach presses against Jack’s.

Suddenly it clicks.

“You’re not gonna hurt the baby, Alex,” Jack says softly. Alex stops again, and suddenly Jack has never better understood the phrase ‘sexual frustration’.

“Are you sure?” Alex asks quietly. Jack nods.

“I’m sure, babe. Would it be better if I got on my hands and knees?” He suggests. Alex pulls a face but nods.

“I guess, although I like seeing your face. But maybe it would be better,” he responds, and in spite of feeling incredibly unsatisfied right now, Jack can’t deny that that makes his heart flutter a little. He nods, and Alex pulls out, letting Jack sit up and turn over so that he’s on his hands and knees. When Jack is in position, Alex carefully pushes in again, and Jack moans at the sensation.

Alex quickly picks up his pace, thrusting into Jack with much more purpose, and Jack moans loudly, letting his face fall down onto the bed.

“Is this better?” Alex asks in a low voice that drives Jack wild. Jack lets out another moan and pushes his hips back against Alex’s.

“Fuck, yes,” he responds, the words muffled by the pillow. Alex groans, thrusting into Jack harder and hitting his G-spot straight on. “Fuck, just like that.”

“Oh, God, I’m so close,” Alex murmurs, gripping Jack’s hips tighter.

“I know – me too,” Jack breathes in response. Alex runs his fingertips across Jack’s back, caressing his skin lovingly, and he leans down and presses a kiss onto Jack’s shoulder. He groans softly in Jack’s ear, shutting his eyes and pressing his chest to Jack’s back as he continues thrusting, breathing in Jack’s scent.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Alex repeats, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Touch me, Alex,” Jack gasps, and Alex wastes no time in reaching his hand forward and between Jack’s legs, rubbing his clit in time with his thrusts. Jack moans, and the sound makes Alex release hard inside Jack, slowing his thrusts down to a stop as he continues circling Jack’s clit with his fingers. Moments later, Jack cums as well, his legs trembling as Alex works him through his orgasm.

“Fuck,” Alex mutters once Jack has finished cumming. He pulls out gently and collapses on his back beside Jack, who promptly drops down onto his side in a small heap, having lost all energy.

“Fuck,” Jack agrees, making Alex chuckle softly.

“You look so hot,” Alex says softly, rolling onto his side to look at Jack. Jack blushes slightly, a small smile on his face.

“So do you,” Jack murmurs, shuffling closer to Alex and placing a hand on the side of Alex’s face. Alex mirrors Jack’s smile, and he closes the gap between them, pressing a sweet, loving kiss onto Jack’s lips. “I hate to ruin the moment,” Jack whispers, barely breaking the kiss, “but I need to use the bathroom.” Alex releases a soft laugh of surprise, and he lets Jack go, rolling back onto his back as Jack staggers upright, trudging off to the bathroom.

Once he returns, Alex has already settled himself under the covers, and Jack is suddenly hit with a slight feeling of déjà vu as he climbs into bed beside him.

“Was that okay?” Alex whispers, opening his arms and inviting Jack to cuddle up to him. Jack easily obliges, resting his head on Alex’s chest and wrapping an arm around his waist.

“It was more than okay,” Jack murmurs, smiling warmly and nuzzling his face into Alex’s chest.

Chapter Text

“Hey, I’ve been thinking,” Alex starts as he and Jack get into bed one evening, although as soon as the words leave his mouth, he realises how ominous they sound, so he adds, “nothing bad, though, I promise.”

Jack chuckles softly. “Go on.”

“I know we’ve still got a while before the tour ends, but we should start talking about what we’re gonna do when we go home,” Alex says cautiously. Jack hums in agreement, pulling a face as he considers Alex’s words.

“Shit, you’re right,” he responds.

“I know we kinda talked about this before, but since things have changed between us since we last discussed it… are we still on the same page?”

“What do you mean?” Jack asks, slightly confused by Alex’s phrasing.

“Like… I know we talked about trying to make parenting work as roommates, but now that we’re together… is it too soon to start living together?” Alex asks.

Jack shrugs slightly. “I mean… I don’t think so. I’m still happy for us to live together. If anything, it’s better now that we are together.”

“How so?” Alex asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Well, after you suggested that we live together, I started thinking about it a little, and I realised that us living together as friends probably wouldn’t have been a great idea,” Jack explains. “Like, with my feelings for you, I realised that us being so close all the time and living like a couple but not actually being one probably would’ve been harder than I thought,” he elaborates, smiling softly despite himself.

“Oh,” Alex says with a frown. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t consider that when I suggested living together.”

“No, no, it’s okay. It was a nice idea in theory,” Jack says. “And we’re together now, so it doesn’t matter anyway.” He pauses for a moment, fiddling with the duvet cover absentmindedly. “And to answer your question,” he continues, “I don’t think it would be too soon. Especially since we won’t be back from tour until August. Unless you think it’s too soon, of course.”

Alex shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?” Jack asks.

“Of course,” Alex responds immediately. “I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.”

Jack chuckles softly. “Good point.”

“Anyway,” Alex continues, “I know you said you wanna move back to Baltimore, but I’m more than happy to move to LA for a bit if it’s too much effort for you to move right now.”

“No, I still wanna move to you,” Jack responds. “Like I said – I wanna have my parents nearby.”

“Okay,” Alex responds with a nod. “What are you gonna do about your place, though?”

Jack shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll sell it eventually. But, to be honest, I’ll probably leave it awhile, just until the baby’s born at least.”

“What about all the shit in your house though?” Alex asks. “Aren’t you gonna need to get some stuff to bring back to mine?”

“I mean, not right away, probably,” Jack answers. “I packed enough for eight months on the road. I basically have my entire wardrobe with me. I definitely have enough to last me for a while. I just don’t wanna be packing shit up and moving across the country while I’m heavily pregnant.”

“That’s fair,” Alex says. And after a pause, he adds, “y’know, if you don’t wanna sell your place, you don’t have to.”

“I know,” Jack responds. “We’re gonna be a family, though, so I wanna do this.” Alex nods in agreement, ignoring the way his heart flutters as Jack casually refers to them as a family.

“Of course, we will also have to start thinking about buying shit for the baby,” Alex says, but to his surprise, Jack releases a groan in response.

“Ugh, fuck, you’re right,” he mutters, seeming to sink back into the pillows. “Clothes and shit is one thing, ‘cause they’re small enough I guess that we could maybe buy them before we get home. But when the fuck are we gonna get, like, a crib and stuff? A month before the baby’s born?”

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll manage,” Alex says softly, placing his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to make you start worrying about it. I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

An idea comes to Alex a few days later as he lies awake with Jack curled up beside him one morning, the two of them squashed into Jack’s bunk together.

He presses a soft kiss to the back of Jack’s neck before carefully sliding out of the bunk, retrieving his laptop and taking it into the living area.

It’s still relatively early – early enough at least that no one else is up yet – so he turns on the small TV on the wall opposite the table, turning the volume down and switching to a channel playing reruns of The Office before opening up his laptop.

Opening up iMessage, he types a quick text to his mom.

Hey, can I ask a favour?

Much to his surprise, she messages back almost straight away.

Hi, hon. Of course, what is it?

He hesitates for a moment, debating whether this would be better as a phone call, but then decides against it since everyone is still sleeping, so he begins typing.

Jack and I still need to buy baby stuff like a crib etc but we won’t be back until August, but obviously the baby’s due in September so we kinda wanna have the stuff we need before then. Could we order some stuff to be sent to you maybe?

That’s a good idea,  she responds almost immediately. I’m more than happy to help .

Alex smiles to himself, just glad to (hopefully) be able to take at least a little of Jack’s worry away – it didn’t exactly go unnoticed to Alex that Jack had been starting to stress about this just a little – and shoots a message back.

Thanks Mom. You’re a lifesaver xx

He opens up a separate window and starts looking up baby furniture websites, scrolling through pages with hundreds of options ranging from the cheapest, most basic options right up to the highest-end pieces costing several thousand dollars.

“Holy fuck,” he mutters as he scrolls past a fairly standard-looking crib for over fifteen hundred dollars.

He never realised quite how expensive babies are.

Several minutes later, the door to the bunk room opens softly, and Alex instinctively turns around to see who’s there.

“Oh, hey, man,” Alex says quietly as he sees Zack emerge.

“Hey,” Zack returns. “You’re up early.”

“So are you,” Alex counters, getting back to his window shopping.

“I’m literally always up early,” Zack points out. “But you’re not. What are you doing?”

“Just browsing baby items,” Alex responds. “The other day, Jack and I realised that if we only leave it until we get back from tour, it’ll only be, like, a month before the baby’s born. And we don’t really wanna leave it that late, so I had an idea.”

“What was your idea?”

“We can start buying stuff now and have it delivered to my mom’s house,” Alex answers proudly. “That way it’s not so last-minute.”

“Smart,” Zack says approvingly. “Although, you’ll still have to build it when you get back.”

Alex huffs softly. “One thing at a time.”

“That’s fair,” Zack answers. “Anyway, I’m gonna go for my morning run now, but good luck with that.”

“Thanks, man,” Alex says with a chuckle. “Have fun on your run.”

About an hour later, the living area is bustling with everyone going about their morning routines.

Apart from Jack, oddly enough.

“Is Jack still sleeping?” Alex asks Rian as he drops down onto the sofa adjacent to the small table where Alex is still sitting.

“I don’t know,” he responds, looking up from his phone. “I think so, but I didn’t really notice, to be honest. Why?”

Alex shrugs slightly. “Nothing, I just wanted to show him something.”

Jack eventually comes trudging out of the bunk room about fifteen minutes later, looking somewhat worse for wear.

“Hey,” Alex says, his face lighting up with a smile as his eyes land on Jack. His smile immediately falters, however, when he notices that Jack is wrapped up in a hoodie and sweatpants – which is somewhat unusual considering Jack is quite often too hot at the moment – and his face is pale. “Are you okay, baby?”

“I woke up with a fucking cold,” Jack mutters miserably, shuffling over towards the small kitchen area and fixing himself a cup of coffee before slotting in beside Alex at the small table. “What are you doing?” He asks, gesturing his head towards Alex’s laptop.

“I was actually gonna show you something,” he responds, and he runs his finger over the trackpad to wake his laptop back up. “Look at this,” he adds, going back to the tab with the baby items open and turning the laptop to face Jack. “Obviously we’ll look together, but I found some nice things on here.” Jack nods approvingly as he looks at some of the items that Alex has favourited.

“That’s cool,” Jack says, his voice slightly hoarse on account of the cold. “But why are you looking now? We’re still not gonna be home for three months.”

“That was the other thing I wanted to tell you,” Alex says with a small smile, turning slightly in his seat to face Jack. “After we talked about it the other day, I came up with an idea,” he starts, “what if we order stuff to be delivered to my mom’s house for her to look after until we get back? That way we won’t have to be buying everything in a rush.”

“Oh, that works,” Jack says with a small smile. “Is she okay with that?”

“Yeah. I messaged her earlier and she’s totally happy to help us,” Alex responds.

“That’s awesome,” Jack says. “Man, that honestly makes this a lot easier.” Alex smiles softly, but before he can say anything else, Jack dissolves into a fit of coughs. Alex grimaces slightly, rubbing Jack’s back in an attempt to ease it somewhat, although seemingly to no avail.

“Let me get you some water,” Alex murmurs, sliding out past Jack and towards the sink. He fills a glass quickly and takes it over to Jack, who’s still struggling to breathe on account of the coughing, and hands it to him. Jack takes it gratefully, downing it in only a few seconds, and surely enough his coughing dies down.

“Fuck. Thank you,” Jack says softly. “Who the fuck gets a cold in May?” He asks incredulously, snorting softly at his own expense.

“Well, we’re travelling around a lot, interacting with a lot of people. I guess it’s not all that surprising,” Alex points out. Jack releases a quiet huff, sniffling slightly.

“Yeah, well, it’s like I wasn’t uncomfortable enough already,” he mutters bitterly.

“Are you gonna be okay to play the show tonight?” Alex asks softly, rubbing Jack’s shoulder comfortingly.

“I’m fine,” Jack grumbles.

“You sure?”

“If you can make it through a show with a fucking concussion, I think a cold isn’t gonna stop me,” Jack points out.

“It’s not just the cold, though,” Alex says. “Just saying… being pregnant and having a cold can’t be much fun. I don’t think anyone would blame you if you wanted to sit this one out.”

“Well, that’s not really an option,” Jack responds, feeling irritation start to creep up. “We can’t get anyone to fill in for me on such short notice.”

“I’m just saying-”

“It’s just a fucking cold, Alex,” Jack snaps. “I’ll live.”

“Alright,” Alex says, backing off slightly and raising his hands as if to signify surrender.

Jack sighs softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Can I lean on you?”

Alex chuckles sympathetically. “Of course.”

Jack retreats back to his bunk not long later, and as much as Alex wants to go check up on him, he tries to restrain himself.

Instead, he decides to make himself useful, and he goes out to a nearby supermarket in search of cold medicines.

He takes extra care while searching through all the different types of medicines, making sure that they’re all safe to consume while pregnant, and ends up leaving with a nice little care package consisting of the only cough syrup the supermarket had that Google said is okay to take while pregnant, a box of Tylenol and some VapoRub. And, of course, a packet of Red Vines.

Everyone’s still milling around in the living area of the bus when Alex returns, mostly just waiting until they’re needed for the day, but Alex pushes past them all, making a beeline for the bunk room.

“Babe?” He whispers, knocking gently on the wall to Jack’s bunk. A soft grumble sounds from within, indicating to Alex that Jack is at least partially awake, so he opens the curtain slowly. “I brought you something,” he murmurs, holding up the bag as Jack opens his eyes.

“Hm?” Jack responds, seemingly only semi-conscious.

“Some things you might need,” Alex elaborates, placing the bag on the bed beside Jack. Jack struggles into a sitting position, rummaging around in the bag and pulling out the cough syrup, looking at it with a frown.

“Alex, this is really sweet… but I don’t think I can take this,” Jack says, turning the box over and scrutinising the small text printed on the back.

“No, it’s okay, you can,” Alex responds. “I was really careful with what I bought – Benadryl is completely safe to take while pregnant.”

“Are you sure?” Jack asks, looking up at Alex with such a pitiful expression that Alex’s heart aches.

“Baby, of course I’m sure,” he says softly. “I wouldn’t have bought it if there were any risk, I promise. I wouldn’t want to put our daughter in harm’s way.” Jack’s heart tugs at Alex’s words, and suddenly there’s a lump in his throat. Again.

“I don’t know whether it’s my hormones or just the cold, but you’re about to make me cry,” he mutters, chuckling softly and blinking rapidly to keep the tears away. Alex laughs sympathetically, climbing into Jack’s bunk and sitting beside him, wrapping an arm around him.

“It’s okay,” Alex says with a smile, kissing the side of Jack’s head. “I just want you to feel better.” He reaches into the bag, pulling out the box of Tylenol  “I also got you this,” he adds, passing the box to Jack. “They’re completely safe to take as well. And some VapoRub ‘cause you sound like you need it.”

“Ugh, you’re the best  Thank you so much,” Jack says with an appreciative smile.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Alex says softly, pulling Jack closer and rubbing his side. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he adds, reaching into the bag and taking out the Red Vines. “Just thought you deserved these.” Jack takes the packet from Alex, feeling his heart melt at the gesture. He cuddles closer to Alex, resting his head on Alex’s shoulder and shutting his eyes. 

“God, I love you,” he murmurs. His eyes widen, suddenly, when he realises the gravity of what he just said. “I-I mean… I didn’t mean it like that, I-”

“I love you too,” Alex returns softly. Jack raises his eyebrows, turning his head to look up at Alex.

“Really?” He asks, his eyes still almost comically wide. Alex chuckles quietly, leaning his forehead against Jack’s and shutting his eyes.

“Of course,” he whispers, pulling back and kissing the top of Jack’s head lovingly. “I’ve been ready to say that since the day we started dating, to be honest.”

Jack huffs out a soft laugh. “Well, I’ve been ready to say it since I was sixteen.”

“Okay, I didn’t realise it was a competition,” Alex quips, and Jack smiles, sighing contentedly and cuddling back into Alex’s side, shutting his eyes.

“I love you,” Jack whispers, smiling widely in spite of his current condition.

Alex kisses the top of Jack's head softly again. “I love you too.”

Chapter Text

“Some of us were thinking of going out tonight,” Bill says casually to Alex and Jack once everyone has finished checking into their hotel for the night. “You guys wanna come?”

Jack huffs out a soft laugh, resting a hand on his abdomen as if in answer to Bill’s question. “I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

“You can still come, y’know,” Bill points out. “I know it’s probably not as fun if you can’t get drunk, but most places do have soft drink options as well.”

“That’s true, I suppose,” Jack muses, “but even so, I think I’d prefer to stay in tonight. Besides, my cold still hasn’t fully gone, so I kinda feel like going to bed a little early.”

“Fair enough, dude,” Bill answers. “How about you, Al?”

Alex shrugs. “I’m okay. I think I’ll stay in too, to be honest.”

“Suit yourself,” Bill answers with a shrug. “Offer still stands if you change your mind, though.”

“You should go out tonight if you want,” Jack says once they’re in their hotel room – the two of them having mutually agreed that they no longer need separate rooms considering they’ve recently ended up only using one of them anyway.

“It’s okay,” Alex says. “I’m happy to stay in and have a quiet evening with you.”

“But you love going out,” Jack points out. Alex says nothing, biting his lip and already starting to feel slightly guilty for even considering it. “You should go.” Jack says again.

“Feels kinda mean to just leave you, though,” Alex says after a pause.

Jack chuckles softly. “Baby, it’s not mean.” He steps closer to Alex, taking a hold of his hands gently. “I’ll be okay on my own. I don’t want you to miss out because of me.”

“I’d argue that you’re missing out because of me,” Alex points out, earning a laugh from Jack.

“Fair point,” Jack acknowledges with a smile. “But seriously, I saw your face when Bill suggested going out – you should go.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Alex asks. Jack chuckles again, squeezing Alex’s hands.

“Of course I don’t mind. You go and have a nice night. I’ll be okay on my own. I won’t even burn down the hotel.” This startles a laugh out of Alex.

“Good to know,” he says, pulling Jack in for a sweet kiss. “I love you.” Jack grins widely, still finding it surreal to hear Alex saying that to him. 

“I love you too.”

Jack is awoken with a start to the sound of banging on the door of the hotel room. Frowning, he rolls over and picks up his phone, checking the time.

Just after three.

What could anyone want at this hour?

He turns on the bedside light, and it’s only then that he realises that Alex’s side of the bed is still empty. With a frown, Jack gets up and heads over to the door, figuring that that’s probably Alex now, having lost his key or something.

“Hello?” He grumbles tiredly, cracking the door open. He’s surprised, however, to see Bill standing there, wearing a slightly worried expression. “Bill? What’s going on?”

“Is Alex here?” Bill asks, sounding as concerned as he looks.

“No,” Jack responds, immediately feeling his own worry taking over. “I thought he was out with you guys.”

“He was,” Bill answers. “But he went to the bathroom in the bar and never returned.”

“What?” Jack asks, feeling his stomach drop in fear. “Are you sure he’s not still at the bar?”

“No, we practically turned the place upside down trying to find him,” Bill says. “We searched the bathrooms about five times. Even asked a woman coming out of the women’s bathroom to see if he’d accidentally gone into the wrong one. He was nowhere.”

Jack feels his heart pounding with nerves, but tries to keep calm. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is there any chance that you were all maybe a little too drunk to look properly? Maybe you all just missed him or something,” he says; it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that they were all so drunk that somehow Alex joined them in the search without any of them noticing, and without him realising that he was the one they were looking for.

Stranger things have happened while they were drinking.

But Bill shakes his head. “I only had a couple. And that was hours ago now.” Jack’s anxiety only increases, and he rubs his face nervously.

“Fuck, okay, let’s- let’s go look for him,” Jack mutters, grabbing his hoodie from where he discarded it on the small desk before awkwardly squeezing on some shoes. He grabs his room key and his phone before scurrying out past Bill.

“Zack, Rian and Frank are already out looking for him,” Bill says as Jack shuts the door behind himself. “They’re retracing our steps back to the bar, trying to see if Alex wandered off the wrong way. And Bob is waiting in the lobby, just in case Alex comes back.” Jack feels a wave of anxious nausea cross him, and he swallows nervously; to think it’s requiring search parties to find him.

“Have anyone tried calling him?” Jack asks, scrolling through his phone to find Alex’s number.

“Several times,” Bill answers. “He’s not picking up.” The churning in Jack’s stomach only intensifies, but still he decides to phone Alex anyway. It rings for a while before going to voicemail, and Jack bites his lip uneasily.

“No answer for me, either,” Jack mutters, hanging up the phone and putting it in the pocket of his hoodie. “I guess it’s a good sign his phone isn’t dead, at least.” He releases a heavy sigh, wringing his hands together. “What if something bad has happened to him?”

“I’m sure he’s gonna be okay,” Bill says reassuringly as they wait for the lift. “Shit like this has happened so many times before – he’s probably just somewhere stupid sleeping off the inevitable hangover he’s gonna have tomorrow.”

“I hope you’re right,” Jack mumbles, stepping into the lift once it arrives.

They travel down to the lobby in relative silence, Jack mostly trying not to jump to the worst possible conclusion, to think about how Alex could be dead in a ditch somewhere.

They make it to the lobby, and immediately they’re met by Bob, who’s waiting in one of the small chairs by the hotel’s entrance.

“Any sign of him?” Bill asks.

“None, I’m afraid,” Bob answers. Jack starts wringing his hands together again, releasing a heavy sigh.

“Right, well, we’re off to look for him now,” Bill says.

“Want me to come with you guys?” Bob offers, but Bill shakes his head.

“No, I think it’s a good idea having someone here in case he does come back.” Bob nods in consideration.

“Okay, that makes sense,” he says, before turning his attention to Jack. “Would you rather wait here, Jack? I’m more than happy to go with Bill to look for Alex if you’re not up for it.”

“No,” Jack answers immediately. “I can’t just sit around. I need to find him.”

“Okay,” Bob says. “Keep me updated. And don’t stay out too late, you guys.”

“But if we don’t find him…” Jack starts, trailing off as he feels his voice wobble with fear.

“Hey, we’ll find him,” Bill says gently, putting a gentle hand on Jack’s shoulder. “C’mon.” He guides Jack out of the hotel carefully, and despite it being almost June, the cold night air hits Jack almost immediately, chilling him right down to the bone.

This can’t be doing much to help his cold, he thinks bitterly as he stands there in just his pyjamas and a hoodie.

“Where should we look?” Jack asks, putting his hood up and pulling the drawstrings tight to try to keep the cold out a little.

“Well, since the others are looking in the direction of the bar, we should probably head the other way,” Bill suggests, removing his phone from his pocket and turning on the torch.

After almost an hour and a half of searching – and nearing thirty missed calls to Alex – Jack is finding it very hard not to assume the worst.

“Should we call the cops or something?” Jack asks as he and Bill search in a nearby park.

“And say what? Our friend went missing two hours ago? They’d never take that seriously,” Bill says, and Jack huffs.

“But it’s the middle of the night and he was blackout drunk. Anything could’ve happened,” Jack protests, his voice wobbling slightly.

“I know, I’m just saying that a drunk guy going missing for two hours probably doesn’t constitute an emergency,” Bill points out. “We’re gonna find him, I’m sure. But if we haven’t found him by tomorrow, then we can call the cops.” Bill sighs softly, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “Look, Jack, why don’t we head back?”

“We still haven’t found him, though,” Jack says. “We can’t just leave him.”

“Well, you go back then,” Bill says. “I mean this in the least condescending way possible,” he continues with another sigh, and already Jack can tell that he isn’t going to like what Bill’s about to say, “but the stress probably isn’t good for you or the baby.”

“Yeah, no fucking shit I could do without the stress of my boyfriend going missing in the middle of the night,” Jack snaps, struggling to not take offence.

“Which is why you should go back and get some sleep,” Bill says gently. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound patronising, I’m just concerned.”

“I’m not gonna be less stressed lying in bed knowing Alex is still missing,” Jack points out in a small voice.

“I know, I’m just worried about you,” Bill says. “I know Alex would agree.”

“Well, he should’ve thought about that before he fucking disappeared in the middle of the night,” Jack mutters.

“Okay, true,” Bill says. “But listen, we’ve looked everywhere – there’s not much more we can do. At least, not today. Let me walk you back to the hotel at least. I’m sure Bob will be more than happy to swap with you, if nothing else.”

Jack sighs heavily, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine,” he says; at least it wouldn’t be a bad idea to rest for a bit.

They take a different path back to the hotel – mostly trying to ensure that they’ve covered all areas – and before they know it, they’re back by the hotel.

“We really didn’t look that far,” Jack says. “He could be anywhere.”

“Well, Bob and I will keep looking. Plus the others are still looking towards the town centre. I promise we’ll find him. Just get some rest, Jack.” Jack huffs again, feeling completely hopeless and at a total loss.

And also the most scared he’s ever felt.

“I’m just gonna try calling him again,” he mutters, taking out his phone and dialling Alex’s number once again. As soon as it starts ringing, however, he hears a faint noise begin emanating from the grassy area beside the hotel. “What the fuck?” He says softly.

“What is it?” Bill asks, but Jack quickly shushes him.

“I think I can hear something,” Jack says after a pause. Cautiously, he follows the sound, walking towards it with his phone still ringing in his hand.

He reaches the grass and immediately releases a sigh of relief, hanging up the phone and dropping to an awkward crouch behind a small bush.

It’s Alex, passed out on his side in a heap on the grass. Jack could cry from relief.

“I’ve found him,” he calls out to Bill, who’s almost caught up to him.

Gently, Jack shakes Alex’s body, and he awakens with a start, blinking in confusion.

“Huh?” Alex slurs as Jack tips him onto his back.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Jack asks, equal parts relieved and mad that Alex could do this to him. “Help me get him up,” he says, glancing up at Bill. Bill obliges quickly, pulling Alex by his arms and lifting him to his feet.

“Alex, can you hear me?” Bill asks, lightly tapping the side of Alex’s face.

“Y-yeah,” Alex mumbles, his head flopping to one side slightly.

“Has he been drugged? Should we take him to a hospital?” Jack asks worriedly, but Bill shakes his head.

“I don’t think so, I think he’s just super drunk – he was really putting them away earlier. I’d just keep an eye on him overnight,” Bill responds. “Make sure he sleeps on his side, just in case he vomits.”

They drag Alex back into the hotel, which is harder than they would’ve expected since Alex is essentially a dead weight between them.

Bob jumps up as soon as he sees them. “You found him! Where was he?”

“Outside the fucking hotel,” Jack answers with a huff. “I only found him ‘cause I happened to be calling him again and I heard his ringtone coming from the bushes.”

“Jesus,” Bob says with a grimace. “What an idiot.”

“Tell me about it,” Jack mutters. “Would you mind phoning the others and telling them we found him? We gotta get the idiot to bed.”

Alex is starting to regain consciousness by the time they enter the lift, although he still seems as confused as ever.

“Where am I?” He mumbles, slumped between Bill and the wall of the lift.

“You’re in the hotel, baby,” Jack responds, standing in front of Alex and brushing his hair out of his face. To Jack’s surprise, however, Alex just grins widely.

“Jack, I missed you so much,” he says. Jack huffs out a soft laugh, and if it weren’t for the circumstances, he’d almost find it endearing.

They arrive on their floor, and Jack and Bill once again start navigating Alex down the corridor, although somehow it seems to be harder now that he’s awake.

“Hold onto him,” Jack mutters once they’re outside the door to their room, and he fishes the keycard out of his pocket, opening the door up quickly. “Can you help me get him into bed quickly?”

“Of course,” Bill says, steering Alex over towards the bed.

“I don’t wanna go to bed,” Alex grumbles, although as soon as Bill sits him down on the bed, he immediately topples down, landing with his head on the pillow and passing out almost instantly.

“Can I do anything else?” Bill offers, but Jack shakes his head.

“I don’t think so. Thank you, though,” Jack says. He unlaces Alex’s shoes and pulls them off for him, discarding them on the floor. “God, he’s a fucking idiot.”

“Well, we’ve all done shit like this before,” Bill says.

“I guess so,” Jack responds softly.

“Hey, remember a couple years back when Frank got so drunk he got a cab to take him home, which was five hundred miles away, and ended up with a fare of, like, almost a thousand dollars?”

Jack chuckles. “Holy shit, yeah. That was crazy.”

“Don’t be too mad at him tomorrow,” Bill says gently, resting his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Anyway, I should be getting to bed.”

“Of course. Thanks again for all your help, man.”

“Don’t mention it. Goodnight, you two.”

“‘Night,” Jack responds, and Bill sees himself out.

Once Bill is gone, Jack unbuckles Alex’s jeans, carefully pulling them down and off and leaving him in just his t-shirt and underwear, figuring he’ll be more comfortable like that.

“Try not to piss the bed,” he mutters to his comatose boyfriend, discarding his hoodie and shoes before climbing back into bed beside Alex, kissing him softly on the temple.

Chapter Text

Jack is awoken the following morning by Alex groaning softly into his pillow.

After last night’s scene and the subsequent panic that followed, Jack finds it just a little hard to feel sympathy for Alex and what he presumes must now be a terrible hangover.

“Shut up,” Jack mutters, rolling over – with difficulty, of course – in an attempt to go back to sleep.

“God, my head fucking hurts,” Alex groans, the sound muffled where his face is buried in the pillow.

“There’s a fucking surprise,” Jack responds bitterly. “That pack of Tylenol that you bought me the other day is in the front pocket of my bag.” With another groan, Alex wrenches himself out of bed, staggering over to Jack’s suitcase and rifling through its front pocket for the Tylenol. He pops two out of the foil before slinking off to the bathroom, filling up a glass with water and downing it once he’s thrown the tablets back.

He drops himself down heavily onto the side of the bathtub, resting his head in his hands as he pleads for the pounding to stop.

How much did he drink last night?

But before he can think too much about it, suddenly his stomach turns over, and he lunges towards the toilet, promptly throwing up into it with another weak groan. It quickly turns into just dry heaving, so once he figures it’s safe to do so, he slumps down onto the floor, curling up into a ball and finding a slight relief in having his face pressed against the cold stone tiles.

This has to be one of the worst hangovers he’s had in years.

After lying there for a while – it could have been anywhere between three minutes and three hours for all he knows – he drags himself back upright, grabbing onto the side of the sink for leverage, and makes his way back into the bedroom where Jack has gone back to sleep. He drops himself down onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow once again, and shuts his eyes with the futile hope that maybe he can will the pain away.

“You okay?” Jack’s voice sounds a few moments later.

“I thought you were sleeping,” Alex mumbles.

“I was,” Jack responds, “but you’re not as delicate as you think you are.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Rough.”

Jack snorts softly. “That’s not exactly surprising.”

“What time did I even get back last night?” Alex asks, and Jack huffs quietly.

“Well, it’s funny that you ask,” Jack starts, rolling onto his back with yet more effort and staggering upright into a seated position. “You didn’t.”

Alex frowns slightly. “Huh?” He asks, his brain not functioning enough to even attempt to understand Jack’s riddle of an answer. He rolls over to face Jack, trying to ignore the way the sudden motion only makes the pounding worse.

“Apparently you wandered off from the bar,” Jack explains. “Bill said you went to the bathroom and just never returned. We all had to split into fucking search parties trying to find you.”

“Are you serious?” Alex asks, propping himself up a little and rubbing his eyes wearily.

“Yeah, it was fucking crazy,” Jack says. “Bill came to my room at, like, three AM saying that you’d gone missing, and we had to go out and look for you.”

“Holy fuck,” Alex responds, mildly embarrassed by the slight scene he seems to have caused. “Where was I?”

“Passed out behind a bush outside the hotel,” Jack responds with a disbelieving laugh. “It was like we were kids again.”

“Well, that’s… humbling,” Alex mutters with a soft snort. “I guess that explains the grass stains on my shirt.” He looks down at his grey t-shirt, examining the two small, green stains on the right-hand side near the hem.

“I was really scared, y’know,” Jack murmurs, looking down at his hands. “It took, like, an hour and a half to find you. I was starting to worry something bad had happened to you.”

“Shit. I’m sorry,” Alex says, biting his lip guiltily; that’s hardly what Jack needs right now.

“It’s alright,” Jack responds with a small smile in spite of everything. “You’re safe now, that’s all that matters.”

“I wonder what the fuck I was thinking,” Alex says. “I’m such a dumbass.”

“You were drunk,” Jack responds dismissively. “I can’t really blame you. Although I definitely did last night. And I thought I’d probably be mad at you again this morning, but then I guess I caved pretty fast,” he adds with a quiet laugh.

“I’m just too adorable to resist,” Alex jokes, sitting fully upright. “I am sorry, though. I shouldn’t have put you through that.”

Jack shrugs. “It’s okay. Everything worked out fine in the end.” He places his hand on the side of Alex’s face, stroking his cheek lovingly. “You’re an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”

“You’re such a romantic,” Alex jokes, before suddenly grimacing, bringing a hand up to his forehead. “Fuck, my head hurts so bad.”

“Can I get you anything?” Jack offers softly.

Alex shakes his head. “I don’t think so. I took two Tylenol, so I can’t have any more for a while. Although I did throw them straight back up.”

“Can I get you a glass of water, at least?” Jack asks.

“No thanks, babe,” Alex answers with an appreciative smile. “To be honest, I don’t think I could keep it down anyway.”

“Sounds like my first trimester,” Jack mutters, and Alex laughs softly. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just hold me,” Alex responds in a small voice, tugging at Jack’s heart slightly.

“Aw, you poor baby,” he says, his tone just a little teasing.

“Shut up, I’m dying,” Alex protests jokingly.

“You’re so dramatic,” Jack says, but he lies back down, opening his arms and encouraging Alex to cuddle up to him. “C’mon.” Alex smiles despite himself, shuffling closer to Jack and positioning himself so that his head is resting on Jack’s chest.

“This is nice,” he murmurs. “I like it when you look after me.” Jack smiles, wrapping his arm around Alex’s shoulders and kissing the top of Alex’s head. “What time is it?”

Jack reaches for his phone, lighting up the screen. “Just before eight.”

“Ugh. Can we please go back to sleep?” Alex asks with a soft groan.

Jack chuckles softly. “I’m definitely up for that.”

“I’ll try not to vomit on you,” Alex quips, but Jack grimaces.

“If you vomit on me, I’m never sharing a bed with you again.” Alex laughs softly in response, cuddling closer to Jack and nuzzling into Jack’s neck as his hand takes up its usual place on Jack’s abdomen.

“There he is!” Frank says loudly as Alex staggers into the dressing room behind Jack. The rest of the guys all erupt into loud cheers as they catch sight of him, their teasing less than subtle.

“Alright, you’re all assholes,” Alex says, the noise only amplifying the pounding in his head. Although he’s aware that it’s completely intentional.

“You look like the walking dead, dude,” Rian points out.

“I feel like it,” Alex answers groggily.

“You ready to play a very loud show with a lot of flashing lights?” Frank asks brightly, a somewhat smug expression on his face.

“I hate you all,” Alex mutters, heading over to one of the sofas and dropping down beside Zack, slumping down in his seat.

“How was your night camping out under the stars?” Zack asks with an amused smirk.

“Fuck off,” Alex grumbles. “And how the fuck are you all so cheerful? Why is nobody else suffering?”

“‘Cause you were the only one drinking like your life depended on it last night,” Rian answers. “At least some of us know our limits.” Alex groans again, sliding down even further so his head is resting on the arm of the sofa.

“Yeah, well, it’s probably gonna be the death of me now,” Alex mumbles, shutting his eyes.

“Talk about dramatic,” Rian comments. “It’s just a hangover.”

“Next time you’re hungover, I’m gonna remind you of this,” Alex responds.

“It’s hard to say you don’t deserve it,” Jack chimes in with a light chuckle, sitting down on the one small chair in the room.

Alex lifts his head up, looking at Jack with wide eyes. “Really? From my own boyfriend?” He asks, feigning shock.

Jack huffs softly. “You had me wandering around in the middle of the night looking for your ass. And I’m five months pregnant. You can deal with a little hangover,” he teases.

“I can’t believe you’re playing the pregnancy card,” Alex mutters.

“Well, I can’t believe you’re playing the hangover card,” Jack retorts.

“You were so nice to me this morning,” Alex points out, feigning hurt. “But now that everyone else is here, you’re ganging up on me.”

“Do any of us even need to be here for this?” Zack chimes in, suddenly making Jack aware of the fact that he and Alex got so carried away with their flirty teasing that they seemingly forgot that anyone else was in the room.

Although, that’s not necessarily unusual.

“No. Go away,” Alex mutters, making a shooing motion with his hand. Jack chuckles softly, getting to his feet and standing in front of where Alex is slumped.

“C’mon – we’re almost needed out there,” he says, offering a hand to Alex.

“Ugh, I can’t,” Alex whines.

“You’ve played shows with hangovers before,” Jack points out. “And a concussion that one time. You’ll be fine.”

Chapter Text

Jack sits in bed on his phone, scrolling through photos of their most recent shows.

It’s so obvious that he’s pregnant; if there’s anyone who hasn’t figured it out yet, it’d be a miracle.

“I think I’m finally gonna announce my pregnancy publicly,” he says almost as soon as Alex steps out of the hotel bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel.

“Oh. Wow,” Alex says, stopping short in surprise. “Are you sure?”

Jack nods enthusiastically. “Yeah. For one thing, I hate having to wear hoodies all the time to hide it, because I get so fucking hot. Especially onstage. And for another thing, it’s just so obvious at this point. Everyone probably knows anyway, so what’s the harm?” Alex nods slightly in consideration, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“You don’t have to do this, y’know,” he says softly after a brief pause. “Even if people can tell… it’s not their business. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or anything like that.”

“I know,” Jack responds, “but I feel like I owe it to our baby to tell people.”

Alex furrows his eyebrows. “Jack…” He places his hand on Jack’s shoulder, squeezing affectionately.

“It’s just, like, I don’t wanna spend our daughter’s life pretending online like she doesn’t exist, y’know?” Jack continues. “If I never say anything about it, do I just go on pretending like everything’s the same as it’s ever been?”

“We wouldn’t be pretending she doesn’t exist,” Alex says softly. “It’s our life – it’s nobody’s business but ours. It wouldn’t be pretending she doesn’t exist as much as it would be just keeping our private life private.”

“I know,” Jack answers with a nod, “but I think I want to do this.”

“Okay,” Alex says. “If you’re sure, then I’m right behind you.” He takes Jack’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing reassuringly.

“You don’t need to be included in this if you don’t want to,” Jack murmurs, a slightly vulnerable look on his face. “I don’t want to pressure you into coming out.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Alex says genuinely, resting his free hand on Jack’s cheek. “I love you. If this is what you want, then it’s what I want. And it’s like I said the other day – I’m not gonna pretend my child isn’t mine just to avoid coming out publicly.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. “I thought you just said that not addressing that we have a baby doesn’t mean we’re pretending she doesn’t exist.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “It’s one thing for neither of us to publicly address it and just let people assume, but if you announce that you’re pregnant but I say nothing, then it’s kinda like I’m pretending she isn’t mine.” Jack furrows his eyebrows as an expression of confusion makes its way onto his face, so Alex adds, “that’s the way I see it, at least.”

“Interesting logic,” Jack comments, still not fully seeing the difference between the two scenarios. “But you’re sure you wanna do this?”

“I am. I promise,” Alex says. Jack smiles widely, pulling Alex closer and kissing him softly.

“I love you too, by the way,” Jack whispers against Alex’s lips. Alex pulls back slightly, looking at Jack with a puzzled expression. “You said it before but I didn’t return it,” Jack explains.

Alex laughs softly. “Well, I love you more,” he jokes, but Jack punches his arm lightly. “Hey!”

“Of all the corny shit you could’ve said,” Jack says, although there’s an amused smile on his face. “That’s so middle school.”

“Fuck you too,” Alex retorts, earning a laugh from Jack.

“That’s more like it,” Jack responds with a chuckle. “Hey, could you pass me my laptop? I wanna start drafting what I’m gonna say.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Sounds serious.”

“It is serious,” Jack says. “I want it to sound good.” Alex smiles, kissing the top of Jack’s head before getting up, heading over to Jack’s suitcase and rummaging through it to find his laptop.

“It doesn’t matter, y’know,” Alex says softly as he hands Jack his laptop. “I mean it does, but it also doesn’t.”

“That’s deep,” Jack quips.

“I meant,” Alex starts with a playful eyeroll, “it doesn’t matter how it sounds. This is about you, not the fans. Don’t stress about it.”

“I’ll try not to,” Jack answers with an amused grin.

“Good. Can I get dressed now, by the way?” Alex asks, gesturing to the towel still around his hips.

“Aw, but you’re so sexy dressed like that,” Jack jokes, and Alex rolls his eyes again.

“You’re a moron.”

“You’re so fucking rude to me sometimes,” Jack comments, although he’s still smiling.

“Man, I compliment you and I get shit for it, I insult you and I get shit for it. I can’t win.”

Jack snorts. “There’s quite a lot of middle ground between middle school love notes and just straight-up being a dick,” Jack points out with a chuckle.

“Okay. How about this?” Alex asks with a smirk, and he kneels down on the bed, gently hooking his finger underneath Jack’s chin and tilting his head upwards, connecting their lips softly. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Jack can’t help the wide grin that breaks out across his face, and he pulls Alex back in for another kiss.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Alex wakes up early the following morning when he rolls over and discovers Jack’s side of the bed to be empty. Surprised, he sits up slightly, looking around the room. His surprise quickly changes to confusion, however, when he spots Jack sitting on the sofa, typing away on his laptop with an almost intense concentration.

“What are you doing?” Alex asks incredulously.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to work on what I’m gonna say in my post,” Jack answers.

“Now?” He asks, reaching over to his bedside table and looking at the time on his phone. “Baby, it’s six AM. This isn’t worth losing sleep over.”

“I’m not losing sleep over it,” Jack answers. “I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to work on it.” Alex bites his lip, getting out of bed and crossing over to the sofa.

“Can I see what you’ve written so far?” He asks softly, dropping down to sit beside Jack. Jack hesitates for a moment, contemplating, before eventually turning his laptop screen towards Alex.

“It’s not finished yet,” Jack explains self-consciously as Alex reads. “I still have more I wanna add.”

“I don’t think you need to, actually,” Alex says once he’s finished reading. “This sounds lovely as it is.”

“Are you sure?” Jack asks with a slight frown. “I was gonna add another section.”

“You don’t need to, honestly,” Alex says. “I think it’s perfect like this.”

“Nothing I should change, even?”

Alex shakes his head. “No, honestly, I think that’s lovely.” He reaches across, taking Jack’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “You should post it. Later, though – come back to bed now.”

“Fine,” Jack responds, reluctantly shutting his laptop and putting it aside before letting Alex lead him back to bed.

“I’m gonna post it now,” Jack comments as they get dressed to go down for breakfast.

“Now?” Alex echoes.

Jack nods. “Yeah. I’ll post it and then leave my phone here so I’m not checking it every five seconds.”

“That’s smart,” Alex says. Jack nods again, retrieving his laptop and opening up the document with the draft.

He opens Instagram, choosing a simple mirror photo that he took with Alex a couple weeks ago in which Alex is hugging Jack from behind and kissing his neck, and Jack’s pregnancy is more than noticeable. He copies and pastes the draft into the caption and mentally counts himself down from three before posting it without giving himself time to think about it further. As soon as it’s posted, he shuts his laptop and puts it aside, not wanting to see anyone’s reactions just yet. “It’s done,” he mutters, resting his head in his free hand. “Was that the right thing to do? Maybe I should’ve just kept it a secret, at least until I have the baby.”

“Hey, you did the right thing, baby,” Alex says gently, squeezing Jack’s hand and gently tilting Jack’s chin up with his other hand. “You said it yourself – you’ve been giving this a lot of thought. You definitely did the right thing. You don’t have to hide anymore.”

“But what if people react badly?” Jack responds, eyes full of fear. Alex gives him a sympathetic smile, brushing Jack’s hair out of his face gently.

“Then they were never worth having as fans,” Alex responds simply. “Besides, as you said, a lot of people seemed to have already figured it out, so you know they’re not gonna react badly. You never would’ve been able to hide it forever. You did the right thing, I promise.” Jack nods, looking down and biting his lip nervously. “I suppose I should say something too, huh?” He adds after a pause, taking his phone out of his pocket and opening up Instagram. He chooses a similar photo and writes a much simpler yet still heartfelt caption.

I’m sure you’ve all already heard, but Jack and I are indeed having a baby together! We’re very excited, and I couldn’t be more proud of him ❤️ P.S. Yes, we are also dating. I hope all the shippers’ dreams have come true ;)

“Why don’t we go for breakfast now?” Alex suggests, putting his phone aside. “C’mon, don’t look at it now. That was the point, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Jack responds nervously.”

Once they return to the room after breakfast, Jack’s nerves come back to him with a vengeance.

“I don’t think I wanna look,” he mumbles.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Alex says gently, rubbing Jack’s lower back comfortingly. “You were brave enough to come out publicly at, what was it, nineteen? This should be a breeze compared to that.” Jack takes a deep breath, nodding. “Want me to look for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll do it,” Jack answers, picking up his phone from where he left it on the bed and opening Instagram.

The post already has several hundred likes and comments, and all the responses seem to be overwhelmingly positive.

The majority of comments are from excited fans, but there are also many from friends – some closer friends who already knew, other more distant friends who are just finding out now and are sending him their congratulations – as well as other artists, and even a few music magazines (although Jack’s sure that they’re eating this up to write an article about). Jack feels himself physically relax at the sight of such widespread positivity, and he almost feels as though he could cry.

“What are people saying then?” Alex asks, trying to peer at Jack’s phone. Jack smiles softly.

“Everyone seems to be very happy for us,” he responds quietly. Alex smiles widely, leaning towards Jack and kissing his temple.

“See? I knew they would,” he says.

“This is such a weight off my shoulders, I gotta be honest,” Jack says, a contented smile on his face. “We don’t have to hide anymore.” He sits down on the bed, lying down on his back, and Alex follows suit, lying down beside him and wrapping his arm across Jack’s waist.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he murmurs, nuzzling his nose into Jack’s hair before pressing a kiss to Jack’s forehead. Jack grins warmly, shuffling closer to Alex and cuddling into his side.

Chapter Text

Alex wakes up in the middle of the night to feel something moving against his hand. He’s about to freak out – because what the fuck is that – when it suddenly clicks.

“Oh my God,” he murmurs excitedly, pressing his hand more firmly against Jack’s stomach. Seconds later, he feels movement again, and he gasps.

“What’s going on?” Jack mumbles sleepily, stirring and turning his head to look over his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“I just felt the baby!” Alex whispers enthusiastically. Jack gives a tired smile and immediately takes a hold of Alex’s hand, moving it across his stomach and pressing it more firmly into his skin.

“How about now?” Jack asks, smiling to himself at Alex’s excitement. Sure enough, Alex feels the movement far more clearly this time, and a wide grin overtakes his face.

“That’s so cool,” he murmurs in awe. “Holy shit. That’s our baby.”

“I kind of forgot that you haven’t felt her yet,” Jack says, laughing softly. “She’s been wriggling around for ages now.” Alex chuckles quietly in response, kissing the skin behind Jack’s ear before settling back down.

“I never realised she was quite so energetic,” he responds, caressing Jack’s stomach with his fingertips. Jack lets out an amused snort.

“Sometimes she wakes me up in the night with all her jumping around in there. The worst is when she randomly kicks my bladder and makes me need to pee,” he says, and Alex laughs. “Y’know, she actually made me piss my pants the other day.”

“Holy shit, really?” Alex responds, trying not to laugh, although Jack is laughing so it seems like he isn’t too embarrassed.

“Yeah, I’m just so glad that it didn’t happen onstage. Can you imagine how humiliating that would’ve been?” Jack responds. “But yeah, I was sitting in one of our other hotel rooms by myself – I can’t remember where you were, but you weren’t there – and I was just, like, minding my own business when our daughter decided to use my insides as a punching bag and hit me right in the bladder. It took me a moment to realise that I’d pissed myself.”

“Oh my God,” Alex responds, huffing out a laugh. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, it’s just the way you phrased it.”

“No, it’s okay, you can laugh,” Jack says, smiling in amusement. “Once I was over the slight humiliation, it was funny.”

“Our kid is a menace,” Alex jokes, and Jack laughs.

“Oh, totally,” he replies, amused. “It felt so personal.” A moment later, he abruptly sits up, getting out of bed. “All this talk of pissing is making me need to piss now. Especially with the baby wriggling around in there,” he adds as he heads off to the bathroom. Alex shuts his eyes, and he’s almost drifting back to sleep when he feels Jack join him in bed once again a moment later.

“I’m sorry I woke you up, by the way,” Alex murmurs as he resumes his position behind Jack, wrapping his arm around Jack’s middle again and holding him close, his chest pressed up against Jack’s back.

Jack shrugs. “It’s alright. You were excited about feeling the baby.” He turns his head slightly to look at Alex over his shoulder. “Y’know, any time you’re excited about anything to do with the baby, it makes me so happy,” he whispers. Alex squeezes Jack’s middle gently, letting his open palm rest on Jack’s stomach again.

“I’m always excited, babe,” he says. Jack smiles widely, dropping his head back down onto his pillow and sighing with content.

“It always means so much to me.”

“We should start thinking of a name,” Alex suggests randomly as they return to their hotel room after breakfast.

Jack blinks. “What?”

“For the baby,” Alex responds, as if it’s obvious.

“Oh,” Jack says, sitting down on the end of the bed. “I’ve always liked the name Emily.”

Alex pulls a face. “That’s… fine. Not my favourite.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with it?” Jack asks with a frown.

“I don’t know. It’s just… kinda basic, I guess,” Alex says, sitting down beside Jack.

“It’s not basic,” Jack protests. “It’s just a nice name.”

“Well, then, common, I guess,” Alex says. “Plain. I don’t know. It’s just a pretty popular name.”

“What’s wrong with it being popular?”

“I don’t know,” Alex answers, “It’s just a bit… boring, I guess. I feel like I want her to have something more unusual.”

Jack snorts softly. “Please don’t tell me you wanna give our daughter a name with a stupid spelling to try to be ‘unique’.”

“Of course not,” Alex says, rolling his eyes. “Just… something more fun.”

“Such as?” Jack asks with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” Alex says again, fiddling with the duvet as he thinks. “Athena?”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “That’s a fucking city, Alex.”

“Actually, I think that was the name of a Greek god or something,” Alex points out.

“Presumably derived from the city,” Jack counters.

“Well, it was just a suggestion,” Alex protests. “I’m not, like, sold on it. I just meant something like that.”

“What the fuck names are like Athena?”

“I didn’t mean exactly like it, dumbass,” Alex retorts. “I just meant something a little different. A little unusual. What about naming her after something special to us?”

“Yeah, no, I’m not having my daugher named after a fucking beer,” Jack deadpans.

“You really think that’s something I’d do?” Alex asks with an unamused expression on his face, almost feeling vaguely insulted.

“ Stella is literally named after a beer,” Jack points out.

“That’s completely different, idiot,” Alex argues. “That’s a song. That’s not my child.”

“I thought you once said your songs are like your children,” Jack says, an amused smile crossing his face.

“I was joking,” Alex says, shoving Jack’s shoulder gently and making Jack laugh softly. “And besides, if I said that, it was probably way before the prospect of having kids even crossed my mind. Now that I am, I can confidently say that I was full of shit.” Jack smiles widely, wrapping his arm around Alex’s shoulders.

“Why are you so cute all the time?”

Alex chuckles. “That’s just me, baby.” He leans forward and pecks Jack’s lips sweetly. “But we’ve made no progress in this discussion.”

Jack shrugs. “We don’t need to decide right this minute.” He places his other hand on the side of Alex’s face, stroking his cheek as his eyes flicker down to Alex’s lips.

“No, but we do probably need to decide at some point,” Alex says, laughing softly again as he places his hand over Jack’s. “We’re literally no closer to a decision than we were when we started this conversation.”

“Who the fuck let us be in charge of an actual baby?” Jack huffs with a quiet sigh of exasperation. “We should’ve thought about all of this before I got pregnant.”

Alex snorts. “Yeah, we really should’ve planned our drunken hookup and your accidental pregnancy better,” he quips sarcastically. Jack laughs again, pulling Alex back in for another kiss.

“Y’know, I can think of something I’d rather do right now,” he murmurs against Alex’s lips, pushing Alex so that he’s lying down on his back.

“You’re worse than a horny teenager,” Alex jokes, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re sexy as fuck, sue me,” Jack says, reconnecting his lips to Alex’s. Alex smiles into the kiss, holding Jack by the hips and pulling him closer. Jack takes Alex by surprise all of a sudden when he throws his leg over Alex’s torso, adjusting himself so that he’s straddling Alex’s waist. He seems to drop onto Alex with rather more force than intended, however, causing Alex to emit a small grunt as the air is knocked out of him slightly.

“Baby, I love you, but could you… maybe move?” Alex asks, pulling back a little. “You’re… kind of crushing me.”

“Oh,” Jack says, his expression quickly changing to one of slight hurt. “Sorry, I just thought you like it when I do this.”

“I do,” Alex responds immediately, cupping Jack’s face with his hand. “It’s just… you’re a little… heavy.” Jack’s face falls, quickly morphing into something almost bitter.

“I see,” Jack says simply, rolling – or, rather, tipping – off Alex and climbing off the bed with his head down.

“Baby, come back,” Alex says, feeling his heart ache. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” But Jack wordlessly scurries towards the door, opening it and scuttling out without looking back, leaving Alex alone.

Chapter Text

“Where’s Jack?” Alex asks, striding into the dressing room later that morning.

“Nice to see you too,” Rian retorts sarcastically. Alex rolls his eyes, huffing quietly in irritation.

“C’mon, I need to find him. I think I upset him,” he says.

“What did you do?” Frank chimes in from where he’s sitting at the small table by the wall.

“It doesn’t matter,” Alex answers, cringing internally as he thinks about how he handled the situation. “Has anyone seen him?”

“Not since breakfast,” Bill responds.

“Fuck,” Alex mutters.

“If you tell us what you did, maybe we can help you figure out how to fix it,” Bill suggests. Alex hesitates for a moment, considering, before relenting and deciding that maybe an outside perspective could be useful.

“Well, we were about to have sex, but then he kind of sat on top of me… and I may have said he was too heavy,” he says, looking down sheepishly.

“Oh my God, you fucking idiot, man,” Frank says, and Alex rolls his eyes again.

“I know, okay? I know. It just, kinda, slipped out. I didn’t think,” Alex protests.

“It’s like it’s your first day being a person,” Rian says. “You asshole.”

“Alright, that’s not fucking helpful,” Alex retorts. “Just help me.”

“Just give him some space, man,” Bill suggests gently.

“But I need to apologise to him,” Alex says.

“And you will,” Bill responds, “but wait until he’s cooled off a little.” Alex groans softly, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

Maybe Bill’s right.

None of them see Jack again until he turns up backstage just before soundcheck, several hours after the whole incident.

“Hey. Where were you?” Alex asks gently, pulling Jack aside and placing his hand on Jack’s shoulder.

“Nowhere,” Jack responds evasively, shrugging.

“Jack…”

“I was on the fucking bus, okay?” Jack snaps back. “I didn’t wanna go back to the hotel room ‘cause I wanted space, so I asked Bill for the keys to the bus and swore him to secrecy.”

“Oh,” Alex says, almost feeling disappointed that Bill kept to his word so strongly. “Listen, I’m really sorry about earlier.”

Jack shrugs. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does,” Alex responds, cupping Jack’s face with his hands. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Why would you even say something like that?” Jack asks in a small voice, the hurt in his eyes breaking Alex’s heart.

“It just took me by surprise,” Alex explains. “You’re normally so small and light… I wasn’t expecting it.” Jack huffs, pulling away from Alex and turning around. “What? What did I say now?!”

“How can you not realise you’re making it worse?” Jack asks, turning back to face Alex and subconsciously pulling on his baggy hoodie in an attempt to hide his figure.

“I was just trying to explain why I said it,” Alex defends. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “I know you weren’t.”

“So?”

“You still called me heavy,” Jack points out, and Alex exhales softly, beginning to lose his patience ever so slightly.

“Jack, that’s not a criticism. I was just pointing it out,” Alex answers. “You have gained weight. But you’re pregnant, so that’s expected.”

“Yeah, well, when we’re about to have sex, surprisingly being told I’m too heavy to be on top of you isn’t much of a turn-on,” Jack comments sarcastically, picking up his guitar from its stand and fiddling with it.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, though,” Alex argues. “And there’s nothing bad about being heavy anyway. I really just wasn’t expecting it.”

“It doesn’t matter how you meant it, Alex. I was already insecure about my weight – I didn’t need you rubbing it in. Especially when you then point out how much smaller I used to be.” Alex feels his heart break slightly, and he steps closer to Jack, resting a hand on his face again.

“Baby, you know I think you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, but Jack huffs, pulling away again.

“It’s not about you,” Jack retorts. “It’s so fucking hard. I hate the way I look. And being pregnant is also making me so dysphoric, aside from anything else. I fucking hate it. So to have you reminding me of it doesn’t help at all.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Alex asks softly, desperately wanting to reach out and hold Jack.

“Because I know what you’re like,” Jack says. “You’d have come in trying to figure out how you can fix it. But this can’t fucking be fixed, Alex.”

Alex almost physically recoils. “That’s not fair. I’m just trying to help.”

“Well, you’re too much sometimes,” Jack responds. “Sometimes it feels like I can’t fucking breathe with you around. You come running whenever something happens, and then you’re always determined to find a way to fix it.”

“Because I love you,” Alex retorts. “I care about you, and I know you’re struggling, so I’m just trying to make it easier for you.”

“But I don’t need you to come rushing in trying to solve everything all the time,” Jack says. “Just be there for me and let me complain about it.”

“I am there for you,” Alex points out.

“Not always in the right way, though,” Jack says.

“What the fuck is this even about anymore?” Alex cries, feeling the hurt flaring in his chest, alongside confusion as to how this escalated so fast.

“It’s about the fact that sometimes you have a way of making things worse,” Jack answers. “I know you mean well, but it’s getting too much. I can’t take it anymore.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “I’m starting to wonder if all of this was a mistake.”

“All of what?” Alex asks softly, feeling his heart shatter as he starts to fear the worst.

“This. Us. Maybe we made a mistake by trying to make this work.”

“Well, if that’s how you feel,” Alex says simply, trying not to let the tears fall. Without another word, he picks up his own guitar, trudging up the stairs and onto the stage.

Chapter Text

The tension between Jack and Alex is so thick that it starts to affect their show that evening.

It’s almost entirely without their usual light, easy back-and-forth, save from the odd joke or two, but even then, the atmosphere between them is so icy that it makes them feel forced.

Alex sleeps on the bus that night, because despite everything, he’s still not going to force his pregnant boyfriend – or whatever they are now, Alex thinks with a shattered heart – to sleep in the claustrophobic bunk when there’s a perfectly good bed in the room.

Alex lies in his bunk wide awake, and the tears finally start falling.

How the fuck did this even happen? One minute they were arguing about Alex’s poor choice of words, and the next Jack was suggesting that they break up.

Maybe it’s for the best, Alex thinks; if this is how their first ever argument as a couple went, maybe it’s indicative that they wouldn’t have worked out. Maybe this was bound to happen sooner or later. Maybe they are better off just being friends.

But none of that is enough to stop Alex from sobbing quietly into his pillow.

Pulling Alex out of his thoughts all of a sudden, there seems to be a knock at the bus’ door. Alex freezes, paralysed by momentary – if irrational – fear.

It’s two in the morning – who could possibly be knocking at this hour?

Perhaps it’s an intruder, Alex thinks. Perhaps they’re checking to see if the bus is empty before trying to rob it.

Or perhaps it’s Jack. That would probably make more sense, logically. Although that thought is potentially more terrifying right now than it being someone trying to break in.

With a groan, he drags himself out of the bunk, staggering through the darkness. He blindly makes his way to the living area, throwing on the lights and trudging over to the door, opening it up half-heartedly.

“Oh. What are you doing here?” He asks as he sees Jack standing on the other side, his surprise partially a façade.

“Can we talk?” Jack asks softly.

“So now you wanna talk,” Alex mutters in irritation, although at this point it’s mostly a front to keep himself from crying again.

“Easy. You weren’t completely innocent back there,” Jack points out. Alex huffs quietly, hesitating a moment before standing aside, inviting Jack in.

Alex traipses over to the sofa, dropping down onto one end of it as Jack takes a seat on the other, and he turns towards Jack expectantly.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Jack starts, fiddling with his hands.

“Did you mean it?” Alex asks, tucking his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

“Some of it,” Jack admits. “But not all of it. Either way, I shouldn’t have said it the way I did. I should’ve handled it better.”

“I don’t know why you didn’t just talk to me,” Alex says in a small voice. “If that’s the way you felt… why didn’t you tell me?”

Jack sighs quietly. “Because you’re so nice. Really, you’re such a support. It’s just… a little much sometimes.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex says. “I get it – I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I realised that I am kinda on top of you most of the time, so I’m sorry. I’ll try to be less overbearing from now on, I promise.” He looks down, biting his lip nervously as he considers his next words. “But in future you need to tell me if something’s bothering you, Jack. This was our first fight as a couple, and somehow we managed to get into breakup territory. We can’t do this every time we argue. You need to start communicating with me properly, because I can’t do this if you’re gonna threaten to leave me every time we have a disagreement.”

Jack nods feverishly. “I know. I’m so sorry, I should never have said that this was a mistake. I didn’t mean it at all, I was just mad.”

Alex nods solemnly. “I’m sorry too. Not just for being overbearing, but also for what I said this morning. I was a thoughtless idiot, I’m so sorry.”

Jack releases a bitter, humourless laugh. “Honestly, with everything else that happened, I’d kinda forgotten about that.”

“Well, I hadn’t,” Alex says softly. “It’s been eating me up that I hurt you. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about how the pregnancy’s been affecting you mentally. I guess I was just too wrapped up in my own excitement to think about it. I don’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, you don’t need to keep apologising. It’s okay,” Jack responds with a small smile, reaching across and linking his fingers through Alex’s.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” Alex whispers.

“You won’t,” Jack insists, moving his hand to instead rest gently on Alex’s cheek. “You won’t lose me. I promise. You’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

“You don’t think we’re making a mistake, then?” Alex asks in a small voice, his wide, sad eyes making him look so vulnerable and breaking Jack’s heart. 

“Of course not,” Jack murmurs. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d be an idiot to lose you.”

“You’re corny,” Alex quips with a soft chuckle. “But we’re okay, right?”

“Of course we’re okay,” Jack responds, opening his arms and motioning for Alex to cuddle up to him. “Come here,” he adds, and Alex obliges easily, sliding over to Jack and resting his head on Jack’s shoulder, wrapping his arm around Jack’s middle. “I love you so much, Alex.”

“I love you too,” Alex murmurs, nuzzling into Jack’s neck.

“Do you wanna come back to the hotel room now?” Jack asks, caressing Alex’s hair.

Alex huffs out a quiet laugh, smiling slightly. “I don’t know, I just love sleeping in the bunk so much, I feel like I wanna camp out here,” he quips, and Jack snorts softly.

“Dumbass,” he answers. “C’mon. We can do this back in the room.” Alex sits up, getting to his feet quickly and offering Jack a hand up. Jack takes it, hoisting himself up with effort and pulling Alex in for a quick kiss once he’s up. “Shall we go?”

“Yeah. Let me just lock up,” Alex responds, picking up the keys to the bus from where he left them on the small table before turning the lights back off.

They head back to the room in relative silence, but a much more companionable one than the tense, terse silence that settled over them for the most of the rest of the day, and somewhere along the way Alex’s hand makes its way into Jack’s, squeezing affectionately.

“I do appreciate everything you do for me, y’know,” Jack says softly as they climb into bed once they're back in the room. “I don’t want you to think that all your support has gone unnoticed, because it hasn't. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.” Alex says nothing, simply wrapping his arm around Jack’s waist and pulling him close, pressing a lingering kiss onto his temple.

Chapter Text

Jack has to admit that he’s starting to get quite fed up with being pregnant, yet he still has about three months to go.

The hotel nights are mysteriously becoming more frequent, and although no one has said it, Jack suspects that it has something to do with the fact that he’s been struggling to sleep in his small bunk – he suspects that Bill has managed to pull some strings to get them more frequent – and longer – hotel stays, because never have they had so many nights in hotels on tour before.

Jack is immensely grateful. Although that doesn’t mean he isn’t starting to want to go home.

“God, I don’t wanna go out,” Jack huffs, flopping onto his back on the bed.

“So stay,” Alex says, slipping his shoes on.

“I don’t wanna do that, either,” Jack mutters, and Alex laughs.

“What do you wanna do?”

Jack shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Fair enough,” Alex answers with a chuckle. “But you should probably decide soon, ‘cause we’re supposed to be meeting the others in the lobby in a few minutes.”

Jack groans softly. “Fine, I’ll come.”

“You sure?” Alex asks. “You don’t have to.”

“I know, but it beats sitting around here. Again. Besides, I like sightseeing,” Jack responds, sitting upright. “Will you pass me my shoes?”

“Which ones?”

“Any,” Jack answers, and Alex kicks the nearest pair towards him. “Thanks, babe,” Jack adds, shuffling them on quickly. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom and then we can go.”

“Definitely sure you wanna come?” Alex asks as Jack returns from the bathroom. “I’d be happy to hang out here with you if you want.”

“It’s okay,” Jack responds with a small smile. “It’ll be good to get out for a change.”

They all take a local bus into the town centre, however while the others spend most of the journey talking and laughing, Jack sits quietly by the window, looking at his phone with an almost intense concentration.

“You’re quiet,” Alex points out, putting his arm across the back of the seat behind Jack. Jack simply shrugs in response, locking his phone before Alex can see what he was doing. Alex wants to push Jack, to find out what’s causing this sudden change in mood, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm him again, so instead he lets it go, fiddling with the ends of Jack’s hair absentmindedly.

“Where should we go first?” Frank asks once they’re off the bus.

“I did have an idea,” Bob responds, pulling a small leaflet out of his pocket and unfolding it to reveal a map of the town. “I found this in the hotel lobby. I was thinking we could do a sort of circular tour starting here-” he points to an area on the map, guiding his finger around the path he’s marked, “-and going off in this direction, ending at a bar around here. What do you guys think?”

“I think that sounds good,” Zack says, nodding enthusiastically.

“Look at you being our tour guide,” Alex comments with an impressed smile as Bob puts the map back in his pocket.

“Ah, it’s mainly because I wanted to make sure we see all parts of the old town so I could photograph it,” Bob responds with a chuckle, gesturing to the camera slung over his shoulder – one of the smaller ones in his collection, but still larger than anything most of the guys have ever used.

They set off on Bob’s homemade tour route, heading in the direction of an old church, and Alex’s hand slips into Jack’s as they walk.

“Hey,” Alex says softly, smiling at Jack and brushing their shoulders together affectionately.

“Hey,” Jack returns, flashing a small smile of his own, although it doesn’t reach his eyes. And so, inevitably, Alex continues to worry about him; he so badly wants to ask what’s wrong, because he knows that something is, but he promised Jack that he’d be less intense, so once again he lets it go.

The walk around the town ends up being somewhat quicker than they expected, so they finish in plenty of time to head to the small bar at the end of the route.

Jack’s somewhat glad that there wasn’t too much walking; his back and feet are killing him enough already.

They all sit around one long table in the corner of the bar, and although nobody is planning on getting drunk right now, they’re already a drink or two in and as such are all jollier than Jack is feeling right now.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” Jack mutters, getting to his feet and shuffling behind some of the guys’ chairs, heading off in the direction of the bathroom.

Against his better judgment, Alex decides to follow Jack into the bathroom, figuring that maybe Jack will feel more comfortable to talk if they have a little privacy.

When Alex enters the bathroom, he’s more than a little surprised to see Jack just standing on the other side of the room, staring fixedly at his phone once again.

“What are you doing?” Alex asks softly, approaching Jack’s side and placing a comforting hand on Jack’s shoulder. Jack startles slightly and puts his phone away quickly, not having been expecting Alex to come in behind him. “Are you okay?” Alex adds.

“I’m fine,” Jack responds. “What are you doing here?”

Alex sighs softly. “Okay, I admit I followed you in,” he starts, feeling a little guilty. “However,” he continues before Jack can get angry, “I was worried about you. You’ve been really quiet since we were on the bus. If you want me to go, then I’ll go. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” Jack says nothing, looking down at the floor sheepishly.

“It’s… really stupid,” Jack mumbles after hesitating for a moment.

“I’m sure it’s not,” Alex says. “If it’s upsetting you, then it’s not stupid. Wanna talk about it?” Jack sighs heavily, mentally debating with himself for a moment as to whether or not to be honest with Alex.

“Fine,” he says after a pause, relenting as he decides that Alex won’t judge him, no matter how dumb his problem feels. “I’ve… kinda been thinking a lot about childbirth and labour recently,” he starts, and Alex raises an eyebrow.

That’s certainly not something he would’ve guessed Jack would say.

“Oh… why?” Alex asks, trying to hide his surprise.

Jack rolls his eyes. “‘Cause I’m pregnant, dumbass.”

“Jack.”

Jack sighs. “Sorry.” He folds his arms across his middle, feeling self-conscious “I don’t know, I’ve just… been thinking about it for some reason.”

“Why has that upset you?” Alex murmurs, the hand that’s still resting on Jack’s shoulder rubbing comfortingly.

“‘Cause it’s fucking terrifying,” Jack says. “Seriously, it sounds like a fucking horror show.” Alex purses his lips, trying to suppress his instinct to offer Jack something to help, some solution or piece of advice that Jack didn’t ask for.

“I get that,” Alex says instead.

“And then today I learnt what an episiotomy is, and it’s kinda fucked me up, to be honest,” Jack continues, finally meeting Alex’s eyes.

Alex furrows his eyebrows. “Dare I ask what that is?” Jack says nothing, taking out his phone and unlocking it, handing it to Alex. Alex’s eyes widen as he looks at the page open on Jack’s screen, before morphing into something almost of horror. “Well. Yikes,” he says, handing the phone back to Jack.

“Too fucking right ‘yikes’,” Jack mutters, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Is there anything I can say or do to help?” Alex murmurs.

Jack shrugs. “I don’t think so. It’s just scary.”

“That’s totally understandable,” Alex answers. “But if it makes any difference, I’m gonna be with you the whole way.”

“I know,” Jack responds with a grateful smile. “But, fuck, it’s gonna be awful, isn’t it?”

Alex sighs softly. “Probably,” he admits, not wanting to lie to appease Jack. “But you can have pain relief, can’t you?”

“Yeah, but that’s not gonna make healing any easier,” Jack points out.

“True,” Alex murmurs, wrapping his arm around Jack’s waist. “If I could trade places with you, I would in a heartbeat.” Jack smiles again, resting his head against Alex’s. “I know it’s easier said than done, but… you should try to stop thinking about it if you can,” Alex adds softly. “Constantly reading up about it isn’t gonna help you.”

“I guess,” Jack mumbles. “It’s just hard not to.”

“I feel that,” Alex responds, rubbing Jack’s side. Jack says nothing, leaning closer to Alex and taking comfort in the closeness.

“Y’know, I could sense you trying really hard not to ask me what was wrong earlier,” Jack says, changing the subject and startling a laugh out of Alex. “I thought you were gonna explode.”

“I almost did,” Alex jokes. “I was just trying not to smother you again.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jack answers, turning his head and kissing Alex’s temple sweetly. “Thank you for making an effort.” Alex squeezes Jack’s side affectionately, pulling him closer.

“Why don’t we stop hanging out in the bathroom?” Alex suggests after a pause, earning a chuckle from Jack.

“Good idea.”

Chapter Text

As Jack’s birthday gets nearer, Alex struggles a little with what to do, considering they usually just go to a bar. Or, at least, alcohol is involved in some way. But with Jack’s very unexpected pregnancy, Alex feels like he’s left with few options.

He can’t help but feel like he’s failing a little as a boyfriend – he’s known Jack forever, so he should be able to come up with something he can do with Jack on his birthday. Especially since they’re together now.

“Why don’t you take him out somewhere nice?” Bill suggests when Alex voices these concerns to him. “Out to dinner, maybe, or to a movie. We’ll all surprise him after.” Alex furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“Surprise him with what, though?” He asks. “Like, he can’t drink. What kind of party would that be?” Bill snorts in amusement.

“Dude, seriously? It can still be a party without alcohol,” he says, humoured by Alex’s confusion. “We can book a bar or someplace for the evening like we usually do but have a dry party instead.”

Alex snorts softly. “Rent out a bar and have no alcohol? That’s gonna go down well,” he comments sarcastically.

“Well, we can have optional alcohol then or something,” Bill suggests.

“That seems kinda mean, though,” Alex says. “Like, ‘happy birthday, Jack! We know you can’t drink, but we’re going to anyway’.”

“Dude, I’m trying to help you. Stop throwing my ideas back in my face.”

Alex sighs softly. “Sorry. It’s just hard thinking of something to do.”

“I’m sure we’ll find a bar that’s okay with us not buying a lot of alcohol,” Bill says. “I know it won’t be as exciting as it would be if we could drink, but I’m sure we’ll survive.” Alex rolls his eyes.

“I know we’ll manage without it,” he responds, “it’s just… it’s kind of become a stupid tradition for us to spend our birthdays together getting drunk. When we were kids, we used to always find a way to sneak some alcohol to each other, and we’d drink it together in secret. And then, once we were old enough, we started going to bars. I don’t know, I just want Jack to have a good time, and I’m worried that having no alcohol on his birthday is just gonna be a reminder that things have changed.”

“But things have changed,” Bill says gently. “For the better. You guys are a family now – you’ll probably start your own family traditions from now on,” he continues, and Alex’s heart melts at the thought of him and Jack having their own little family together. Suddenly it occurs to him that he’s probably thinking too much about this. “We have the day off on Jack’s birthday, so how about you guys do something together during the day, and then in the evening we’ll surprise him?” Bill suggests. “I’m sure you’ve got him some sappy boyfriend gift anyway, haven’t you?” Alex can’t help the smile that spreads across his face, blushing sheepishly.

“That, I have.”

“Morning,” Alex murmurs with a smile as Jack’s eyes flutter open.

“Hey,” Jack responds with a yawn, letting his eyes slip shut again as he pulls the duvet up to his nose.

“Happy birthday,” Alex adds softly, brushing Jack’s hair out of his face with his fingers before resting his hand on Jack’s cheek gently.

“Thank you,” Jack mumbles, smiling contentedly.

“What do you wanna do today?” Alex asks. Jack shrugs.

“Sleep,” he responds, and Alex chuckles quietly.

“Okay,” he says, shuffling closer to Jack and wrapping his arm around Jack’s middle.

They lie there half asleep for about twenty minutes before Jack rolls onto his back, sitting up and getting out of bed abruptly.

“Have to piss,” he mutters, staggering off to the bathroom. “Fucking pregnancy.”

He reappears moments later, climbing back into bed beside Alex, who’s now sitting up reading his phone.

“Want coffee?” Alex offers once Jack’s back in bed.

“Yes please,” Jack responds with a grateful smile. Alex climbs out of bed, switching on the hotel-provided kettle and putting the correct amount of powdered coffee and sugar into each mug.

As it’s boiling, Alex decides that now would be a good time to give Jack the sappy boyfriend present he bought him, so he heads over to his bag to retrieve it, placing it in the pocket of his pyjama pants.

Once the coffee’s ready, he pours it and takes the two mugs over to the bed, handing Jack his before resuming his position beside Jack with his own mug.

“I wanted to give you something now,” Alex says, placing his mug on his bedside table and taking the small wrapped-up box out of his pocket. Jack raises an eyebrow as Alex hands him the gift.

“What is it?” Jack asks, examining the gift. Alex chuckles.

“Usually people open their gifts to find out what they are,” he quips, and Jack huffs out a laugh. He puts his coffee on his own bedside table and carefully he unwraps the small present, revealing a little black velvet box. Curiously, he opens it up, and he’s slightly surprised to see a silver necklace with a little circular pendant sitting in its cushioned interior.

“It’s a locket,” Alex points out, sensing that Jack couldn’t tell right away. “Open it up.” Jack does as instructed, carefully prising the sides apart, and his heart melts.

Two small photos – one from each scan they’ve been to.

“I hope it’s not too corny,” Alex says, feeling slightly self-conscious when Jack doesn’t respond for a moment. “I just saw this in the window of a jewellery store we passed the other day, and it gave me the idea.”

“Alex… this is so lovely,” Jack murmurs, feeling his eyes filling up slightly. “Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome,” Alex responds softly, a smile making its way onto his face. Jack pulls him into a tight hug, and Alex kisses the side of his head.

“Will you put it on me?” Jack asks as he pulls away. Alex smiles, taking the necklace from Jack and unclasping it, hanging it around Jack’s neck and fastening it for him. Jack opens up the little locket again, and his face breaks out into a wide smile as he looks at the photos. “This is the sweetest gift anyone has ever gotten me,” he murmurs, and Alex smiles.

“I’m glad you like it,” Alex says, and Jack looks up at him, still smiling widely.

“I love it,” he responds. Alex chuckles softly, leaning forwards and kissing Jack sweetly.

“Oh, I almost forgot – your card,” Alex adds, hopping out of bed and retrieving the card he got for Jack, handing it to him before climbing back into bed beside him.

Jack tears open the envelope carefully, revealing a card with a dumb pun printed on the front that’s so Alex that Jack can’t help but smile. He opens up the card to find a surprisingly long message scrawled in Alex’s familiar handwriting.

Dear Jack,

I know things are kind of different this year – in more ways than one – so I’m gonna grit my teeth and write you a corny boyfriend card no matter how cliché it sounds. You know how much I hate sappy love notes, so just know that I’m doing this for you, baby.

Happy birthday, babe. I love you so much, and I hope I show it enough. If you’d asked me a year ago what we’d be doing on your twenty-fourth birthday, never in a million years would I have guessed that this is where we’d be, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. You’re hands-down the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I can’t wait to raise our baby with you.

Anyway, I’ve already more than crossed the corny threshold, so happy birthday again. Hope you have the greatest day!

I’ll do all the shots for you this year ;)

All my love always,
Alex xxxxxxxx

P.S. I just couldn’t bring myself to write one of my usual joke insults for you this year. In hindsight, that was probably just my way of flirting with you even though I never realised it. Hahaha.

Jack can’t help the warm feeling that spreads in his chest at Alex’s words, and he smiles widely as he shuts the card, standing it up on the bedside table.

“That was really lovely. Thank you,” Jack says softly, still smiling. Alex smiles back at him.

“Not too much?” He asks, feeling a little self-conscious.

“Not at all,” Jack responds. “It’s perfect.” He shuffles closer to Alex, cuddling into his side and resting his head on Alex’s shoulder. “I love you so much,” he murmurs, looking up at Alex.

“I love you too,” Alex beams, wrapping his arm around Jack’s waist and leaning down to kiss him sweetly.

“I’m so lucky to have you,” Jack murmurs, resting his hand on Alex’s thigh affectionately.

“At risk of sounding even corner, I’d say I’m the lucky one,” Alex responds, still smiling, and he places his free hand over Jack’s.

“That is pretty corny,” Jack says with a chuckle, making Alex huff out a soft laugh, pulling Jack closer.

He’s so in love with Jack.

“I’m gonna have a quick shower,” Jack says as they return to the room after breakfast.

“Mind if I join you?” Alex asks with a flirtatious smirk.

“I like the sound of that,” Jack answers, matching Alex’s smirk. Alex laughs softly, pulling Jack in for a sweet kiss which Jack quickly deepens, holding Alex by the waist and pulling him closer. “C’mon,” he mutters, barely pulling away. Alex nods, and they head into the bathroom, stripping off quickly before stepping into the shower cubicle.

Jack turns on the water, and Alex almost immediately yelps when it hits him, the water not having warmed up yet.

Jack chuckles softly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Alex answers, stepping towards Jack and reconnecting their lips. “This is nice,” he muses, wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders.

“It is,” Jack murmurs against Alex’s lips, and he wraps his own arms around Alex’s waist, bringing his hands to rest on Alex’s asscheeks and squeezing gently.

“Oh, you’re in that kind of mood, huh?” Alex says softly, pulling away and looking at Jack with a smirk.

“What can I say? You’re hot as fuck,” Jack responds, pulling Alex back towards him and deepening the kiss, his hands still roaming around Alex’s body.

“And you’re horny as fuck,” Alex counters with a chuckle.

“Dude, my hormones are out of control. It’s not my fault,” Jack protests, earning another laugh from Alex. Alex reconnects their lips, resting one hand on the side of Jack’s neck while the other makes its way down Jack’s body, lightly tracing his fingers across one of his top surgery scars before coming to rest flat on his chest.

“Maybe I can help you out, then,” Alex suggests in a low voice that drives Jack wild, and his hand starts moving again, running lightly down Jack’s body and sending shivers up his spine, before making its way between Jack’s thighs, pressing a featherlight touch onto his clit.

“Fucking tease,” Jack mutters when Alex moves his hand away again.

“Be patient. It’ll be worth the wait,” Alex says teasingly, smirking against Jack’s lips.

“You’re an asshole,” Jack says with a chuckle, and Alex snorts softly.

“Calling me names definitely isn’t gonna make me wanna stop teasing you, you know,” Alex points out, pulling away with a raised eyebrow, and Jack laughs softly.

“C’mon, it’s my birthday,” Jack protests, and Alex kisses him heatedly once more, manoeuvring him so that he’s leaning with his back against the wall of the shower, and he finally starts touching him properly. It almost takes him by surprise, and he bucks his hips slightly in response, only making Alex smirk again.

“I’m gonna make you cum so hard,” Alex whispers against Jack’s lips, and the words turn Jack on even more. “I want you to feel good.”

“God. Please,” Jack practically whines as Alex starts a slow rhythm, circling Jack’s clit lazily.

“How’s this?” Alex asks softly, increasing his speed slightly and setting a steady pace.

“Fuck- that’s nice, keep going,” Jack murmurs approvingly, his legs almost buckling slightly from pleasure.

Alex breaks the kiss suddenly and instead starts making his way down Jack’s neck, kissing and nibbling at his skin until he makes his way to Jack’s collarbone, sucking gently at the skin there as his fingers keep working Jack’s clit. Jack releases a soft moan, bringing one hand up to Alex’s hair and pulling gently on the ends as his other squeezes Alex’s ass again.

Taking Jack by surprise, Alex pauses his movements all of a sudden and instead carefully lines his middle and ring fingers up with Jack’s entrance, sliding them in slowly and beginning to thrust them in and out. Jack moans approvingly, leaning his head to one side as Alex continues to kiss his neck, aiming to leave a mark.

“I’m so close,” Jack breathes, and Alex takes that as his cue, pulling his fingers back out and resuming circling them around Jack’s clit instead. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He holds onto Alex tightly, releasing a loud moan as he tips over the edge, and Alex continues working him through it, his fingers slowing down to a stop. “Fuck, that was intense,” Jack says with a soft chuckle, collapsing back against the wall, his chest heaving.

“You look so fucking hot,” Alex comments, taking Jack in – his hair slightly damp and dishevelled from the shower, his cheeks tinged pink, and a dark, round mark forming at the base of his neck where Alex had been nibbling on his skin.

The sight makes Alex’s cock twitch slightly.

“Why don’t we get out and you take me to bed?” Jack murmurs with a sultry smile on his face

“You’re fucking insatiable,” Alex comments with a laugh, and Jack raises and eyebrow.

“Do you not want to fuck me?” He challenges, and Alex snorts softly.

“Of course I do,” he says, closing the space between them again and kissing Jack softly.

“Come on, then,” Jack says, turning off the water before stepping out of the shower, the relative cold of the bathroom almost a shocking contrast to the heat of the shower.

They dry off quickly before heading back into the bedroom, and they almost immediately reconnect their lips, both of them collapsing onto the bed rather gracelessly as Jack drops onto it heavily and pulls Alex down with him.

“How do you want to do this?” Alex breathes, pulling away slightly and looking at Jack.

“I don’t know,” Jack says, sitting up slightly. “Are you still worried about crushing the baby?”

Alex chuckles softly. “Well, she hasn’t gotten smaller since the last time we had sex.”

“How about I lie on my side, then?” Jack suggests, sitting up and shifting towards the top of the bed before lying back down on his side. “Then you lie behind me,” he continues, looking over his shoulder at Alex. Alex shrugs slightly, getting into position behind Jack.

“Why don’t we just do it like we did last time?” Alex asks, struggling to see how this is going to work.

“You just try getting onto your hands and knees with a fucking cantaloupe strapped to your body,” Jack retorts, and Alex snorts softly.

“Point taken.” He adjusts himself, shuffling closer to Jack and lifting Jack’s leg by his thigh with one hand, using the other to line his cock up with Jack’s entrance. “Ready?” He asks softly, caressing Jack’s leg where he’s still propping it up.

“Fuck yes,” Jack answers, and Alex pushes in slowly. Jack sighs softly, immediately appreciating the sensation this new angle is giving him.

Alex sets a steady pace, albeit slightly clumsy on account of the position, and he moves his hand from Jack’s thigh to the inside of his knee, lifting his leg higher for better access.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Jack breathes, letting his eyes flutter shut as his head falls back towards Alex’s. Alex says nothing, simply moaning in response, and he increases his pace slightly, lifting Jack’s leg even higher.

He’s surprised, however, when Jack lets out a noise of pain, and he stops immediately, pulling out and sitting up.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He asks in concern.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing bad,” Jack says, an amused smile crossing his face, “just got a cramp in my leg.”

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Alex responds with a chuckle.

“It’s fine, I’m just not flexible enough for that,” Jack responds, flopping back onto his back. “Which sucks, because it felt so good from behind like that.”

“Why don’t we switch positions?” Alex suggests. “I have an idea.” To Jack’s slight surprise, Alex gets off the bed, coming around to stand at its foot. “Come lie here,” he instructs, and Jack shuffles down the bed, lying so that his legs are hanging off the end. Alex takes a hold of Jack’s hips and carefully repositions him so that his ass is right on the edge, opening his legs gently. “Like this, I don’t have to worry about crushing the baby,” Alex explains, and Jack laughs softly.

“I like your thinking,” he says, lifting his feet off the floor and bending his knees as Alex lines himself up once again. Alex pushes back in slowly, resuming his steady pace, and Jack sighs softly in pleasure.

Alex releases a soft moan, increasing his pace slightly and adjusting his angle, and Jack gasps softly.

“Just like that,” Jack breathes, holding onto Alex’s hips to encourage him to keep up the pace. “You feel so good.”

“Fuck,” Alex grunts, releasing a shuddery sigh and opening Jack’s legs wider, allowing himself in deeper. “Is this okay?” Alex asks, not wanting to over-exert Jack’s flexibility – or lack thereof – again.

“Fuck- yes. Keep going,” Jack instructs. “I’m close.” Alex nods slightly in response, removing his hand from Jack’s leg and instead beginning to circle Jack’s clit with his fingers once again. “Oh, fuck,” Jack groans, arching his back off the bed as his head tilts backwards, exposing his neck. His breathing starts coming in small, shuddery breaths, and suddenly his whole body contracts, his thighs squeezing together as he cums hard, releasing a loud moan. Alex picks up his pace, fucking Jack with more speed and purpose as he himself nears the edge. Suddenly, Jack reaches up and runs his hand through Alex’s hair, and somehow that’s enough to make Alex tip over the edge, releasing hard inside Jack and slowing his hips down to a stop.

“Fuck,” Alex mumbles, pulling out and collapsing onto the bed beside Jack.

“That was so intense,” Jack says, rolling over to face Alex.

“I know, right,” Alex agrees with a smile, brushing Jack’s hair out of his face gently. His hand comes to rest on Jack’s cheek, and his heart flutters at the sight in front of him. “I love you so much,” he whispers, pressing a lingering kiss onto Jack’s lips.

“I love you too,” Jack returns, beaming widely.

“Happy birthday.”

Chapter Text

“So, you wanna tell me where you’re taking me?” Jack asks as they amble down the high street in the town centre.

Alex shakes his head, a coy smile crossing his face. “No. It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” Jack asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course. It’s your birthday – it’s, like, the law to keep things a surprise.”

Jack rolls his eyes fondly. “It’s the law, is it?”

“Yes,” Alex answers simply, linking his fingers through Jack’s. “C’mon. It’s just up here.” He veers off towards the right-hand side of the street, leading Jack to a small bar. Jack raises an intrigued eyebrow, although mostly to humour Alex – considering he hasn’t actually seen any of the other guys today, he presumes that they’re probably waiting inside to surprise him. But he plays along anyway, letting Alex lead him in.

“Hey, there you are!” Bill’s voice calls out. “We were starting to think you weren’t gonna show up.”

“Sorry, we got a little held up,” Alex says, and Jack snorts softly. That’s certainly one way of putting it, he thinks.

“Hey, guys!” Jack says with a wide smile, hugging each of his friends in turn as they wish him a happy birthday.

“This actually wasn’t the surprise,” Alex says softly, and Jack turns towards him with a raised eyebrow. “The actual surprise is currently a little delayed.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asks in confusion.

“You’ll see,” Alex answers evasively.

“C’mon, the surprise is almost here,” Alex says, interrupting Jack mid conversation and taking him by the hand, gently pulling him away from the bar and back towards the door.

“Where are we going?” Jack asks, still confused. “Alex, this better not be something embarrassing.”

“It’s not, I promise,” Alex responds, positioning Jack so that he’s standing in front of the door. Jack waits with great anticipation, no idea what he’s expecting to happen, equal parts intrigued and nervous.

The door opens, and it’s safe to say that he definitely hadn’t been expecting to see his parents and sister come walking through it.

“Oh my God, what are you guys doing here?” He asks, pulling each of them into a hug one by one.

“Thank that lovely boyfriend of yours,” his mom responds. “He called us and invited us. Even offered to pay for our flights here.”

Jack’s heart all but melts, and he turns towards Alex. “Seriously?”

Alex shrugs modestly. “I just felt like you must’ve been kinda down about not being able to see them until right before you’re due, so I figured, y’know?” Jack bites his lip, suddenly feeling dangerously close to dissolving into tears, and he pulls Alex into a tight hug, taking him almost by surprise.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“You’re more than welcome, baby,” Alex returns with a smile, hugging Jack back just as tightly. Jack lets him go after a few moments, guiding his parents and sister over towards a nearby booth to catch up, and Alex watches after them, an affectionate smile on his face.

“I officially take back everything I ever said to you about Jack before you guys got together,” Bill says, coming up to stand beside Alex.

“What?” Alex asks in confusion.

“When I said you were being an asshole to him, etcetera. I take it all back. It’s obvious how much you love him.” A lovesick smile makes its way across Alex’s face, and he blushes slightly.

“Don’t tell him I said this,” he starts, “but if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I’d say yes.”

Bill’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Wow, I never had you down as the marriage type,” he says.

“Me neither,” Alex responds, casting a glance over towards where Jack’s sitting with his family, talking animatedly. “Life is fucking crazy.”

“Have you decided on a name yet, then?” Jack’s dad asks.

Jack chuckles softly. “Actually, no. That’s, like, the one thing we’re still stuck on, to be honest.”

“Any ideas even?” His mom asks.

“Not really,” Jack admits. “There are a couple names I like, and a couple Alex likes, but neither of us is particularly sold on any of them, and also we can’t agree. I never thought naming a person could be so stressful.”

“You should name her after me,” Jack’s sister, April, says with a smirk, taking a sip of her drink and raising an eyebrow.

“Nice try, asshole,” Jack retorts with a chuckle.

“Come on, who wouldn’t wanna be named after their fun aunt?” April quips, and Jack snorts softly.

“Have you decided whose last name you’re gonna give her?” Jack’s mom asks, changing the subject.

“We haven’t even thought about that, to be honest,” Jack responds.

“Just don’t let Alex give her his last name only,” April warns jokingly. “You’ve done all the hard work to get her here, it’s only fair that she gets to keep your name.”

“Should we maybe hold off on deciding anything until the actual father of my baby is present?” Jack suggests, taking a sip of his Coke.

“Good idea. Alex, get over here,” April calls out, waving Alex over. She shuffles along the bench right towards the wall, motioning for Jack to do the same to give Alex room to sit on the end beside him.

“That’s not what I meant,” Jack mutters, but he shuffles up anyway.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?” Alex asks, taking a seat beside Jack.

“Oh, we were just gonna bully you into giving your daughter the Barakat name,” April jokes, and Jack rolls his eyes in amusement.

“Nobody’s bullying anyone,” Jack says, darting a sideways glare at April. “And I wasn’t actually part of this, I wanna point out.” He laughs softly in spite of himself, leaning into Alex as Alex’s arm casually makes its way around his shoulder.

“I mean, I don’t mind,” Alex murmurs, caressing Jack’s shoulder with his fingertips. But Jack shakes his head.

“No, I think we should hyphenate,” Jack responds softly, somewhat wishing his family weren’t so involved in what should probably have been a private discussion between him and Alex. “It’s only fair. I want her to have a part of both of us.”

“Yeah?” Alex asks with a small smile.

Jack nods gently. “Yeah, of course.”

“Technically, she does already have a part of both of you, if you consider genetics,” April points out, somewhat ruining the moment.

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” Jack retorts, although his anger doesn’t hold much real weight.

“Also, you better put Barakat first,” April continues, seemingly ignoring Jack. “Barakat-Gaskarth. That’s the only way to have it.”

“Fuck you, Gaskarth-Barakat works just as well,” Jack retorts with a laugh.

“Actually, I feel like I agree with April,” Alex interjects. “Barakat-Gaskarth just sounds nicer.”

“Thank you, Alex,” April says with a smug grin, before turning to Jack. “At least somebody can see my wisdom.”

“Thank you so much for today,” Jack says softly as Alex gets into bed beside him.

“It’s no big deal,” Alex says with a small smile.

“No, it is a big deal,” Jack responds. “It was such a lovely and thoughtful surprise, and it meant so much to me, so thank you. Especially paying for all their flights. That can’t have been cheap.”

“I didn’t actually,” Alex admits. “I did offer, but they wouldn’t let me. I felt kinda bad about it, ‘cause it wasn’t cheap. But they said they couldn’t ask me to do that.”

Jack chuckles softly. “I should’ve known they’d be too stubborn.” He shuffles closer to Alex, settling into his usual position with his head on Alex’s chest. “Sorry if they were too overbearing earlier. Especially April.”

Alex shrugs. “It’s okay. I thought she was funny.”

“Don’t tell her that, or I’ll never hear the end of it,” Jack mutters, and Alex laughs.

“I like your family. They’re fun. They treat me like their own.”

“You are their own,” Jack insists softly, rotating his head to look up at Alex. “Our own. You’re a part of my family now, too. You, me and our baby – we’re gonna be our own little family.” Alex’s heart just about melts, and he kisses Jack lovingly, lingering for a moment as he caresses Jack’s side under the duvet.

“I can’t wait,” Alex responds, his heart fluttering like a teenager with a crush.

“Me neither,” Jack says with a smile, shutting his eyes and nuzzling into Alex’s neck.

Chapter Text

“I still don’t know why we need to do this now,” Alex comments as they peruse the rails of baby clothes. “We’ve still got time.”

“We don’t have that much time,” Jack says. “I don’t wanna do it all last-minute, and we still won’t be home for, like, another month.”

“I guess so,” Alex responds with a shrug. “We just don’t want to gather too much shit to take home.”

“It’s not shit, Alexander,” Jack points out, giving Alex a firm look. “It’s clothes for our baby.”

“Okay, I didn’t mean ‘shit’ per se, I just meant that we don’t wanna have too much extra stuff to carry home.”

“Baby clothes don’t take up as much space as the hundreds of fucking pairs of shoes you own,” Jack retorts. “Seriously, look at the size of this.” He holds up a pale blue babygrow, and Alex can’t help the smile that breaks across his face.

“That is adorable,” he says softly. “Crazy to think that’s stuffed up inside you right now.”

Jack snorts quietly. “I prefer that you don’t use terms like ‘stuffed’ to refer to our daughter, thanks,” he says, making Alex laugh in response.

“Okay, how about folded?” He asks with an amused grin.

“What, like some sort of baby origami?” Jack responds with a chuckle, before holding the babygrow up once more. “Although, I suppose she isn’t quite this size just yet.”

“True,” Alex says.

“It’s pretty fucked up knowing that that’s gotta come out of me eventually, though,” Jack mutters, still examining the tiny garment in his hands.

“You were just talking about how small it is,” Alex points out, but Jack snorts softly.

“It’s not so small when it’s gotta come out of your body,” Jack comments with a grimace, and Alex reaches out and squeezes his shoulder gently.

“C’mon – let’s keep looking,” Alex murmurs, sensing that Jack is about to spiral.

“Right,” Jack mutters, returning the babygrow to the rail before picking out another one in pale green with frills running down the middle on either side. “What do you think about this?”

“That’s cute,” Alex says in consideration. “Although I’m not a huge fan of the frills.”

“Don’t want the extra flair?” Jack asks jokingly, and Alex rolls his eyes playfully.

“I'm good without it, to be honest,” Alex responds. “It’s just a bit too much.”

“Okay,” Jack answers with a chuckle, hanging the babygrow back on the rail and looking through others.

“This is nice,” Alex says, picking one out in pale pink and white and holding it up to show Jack. But Jack huffs softly.

“Pink? Really? That’s such a stereotype.”

“What’s wrong with pink?” Alex protests. “It’s a good colour.”

“It’s cliché,” Jack says. “I don’t wanna dress our daughter up in pink to show she’s a girl.”

“It’s not ‘cause she’s a girl, idiot,” Alex retorts. “I just like the colour. Pink is good, sue me.”

“How about this one?” Jack suggests, picking up an identical one in purple.

“Oh, that’s cute,” Alex answers approvingly, putting the pink one back and taking the purple one from Jack, examining it. “I like this one.”

“How many do we need?” Jack asks, and Alex snorts softly.

“Fuck knows,” he says. “I feel like every parent has, like, a thousand of these. But obviously we don’t need to get them all now.”

“That’s true,” Jack says, putting the item he’s holding into the basket looped over Alex’s arm before picking up another, this time a pale yellow one with rainbow stripes on the ends of the sleeves. “This one’s really cute,” he adds, and he imagines putting their daughter in it, holding her for the first time.

Suddenly he finds himself choking up slightly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asks as Jack sniffles softly.

“Nothing,” Jack answers with an emotional laugh, a stray tear rolling down his face. “I’m just… really happy. I can’t wait to meet her.”

Alex chuckles softly, reaching out and taking Jack’s hand in his. “Me neither.”

They only end up buying three items in the end – the yellow babygrow as well as another one in blue and green patchwork, and a pale grey sweatshirt with a silhouette of a guitar and the slogan ‘little rockstar’ on it that was too perfect for them to turn down – before their time is cut short and they have to rush back for soundcheck.

“Should we put these in my suitcase or in yours?” Alex asks as they get back to the hotel, holding up the small paper bag with the baby clothes inside.

“Makes no difference to me,” Jack responds with a shrug. “How much room you got in yours?”

“Enough for some small baby clothes,” Alex says. “Shall I just hold onto them, then?”

“Can do,” Jack answers and Alex heads over to where he abandoned his suitcase, folding the bag carefully and tucking it neatly into the top. “I wish we could’ve had more time,” Jack adds. “There was so much cute stuff there. I wish we hadn’t had to rush back.”

“We’ll have other days,” Alex says with a smile.

“Yeah, I know,” Jack answers, chuckling softly. “It’s just, like… it finally felt like we’re actual parents.”

“We are actual parents,” Alex points out, grinning. “Well, we will be.”

“I know,” Jack says, nodding enthusiastically. “It just felt real, y’know?”

“Did it not feel real before?” Alex asks with a surprised laugh.

“Of course,” Jack responds, resting a hand on his stomach as if emphasising his point. “But there was always, like, a part of me that felt like we were just pretending, y’know?” Like, it’s just such a crazy thing to wrap my head around that even now I have to convince myself that it’s actually happening.”

“I get that,” Alex says, a small smile crossing his face, and he crosses the space between them, gently resting his hand on the side of Jack’s neck and pulling him in for a soft kiss. “I can’t wait for us to be parents,” he adds softly, smiling against Jack’s lips.

“Me neither,” Jack murmurs, kissing Alex again. “I hope you know I appreciate everything you do for me, Al.”

“Of course I know,” Alex responds softly, caressing Jack’s face.

“I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Good thing you won’t have to,” Alex says with a smile. “C’mon – we should get going.” Jack pouts, groaning quietly.

“Ugh, do we have to?” He whines jokingly.

“Yes,” Alex answers with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck and pulling him close. “C’mon, we’ve been over this – I’m not letting you throw your dream away.”

“I don’t wanna throw it away. I just wanna put it on hold for a little while,” Jack says, and Alex chuckles softly.

“Well, put it on hold later,” he responds with an amused smile. “C’mon – work now, rest later.”

“Ugh, fine,” Jack mutters in response, although neither of them moves. “But I should point out that if this were any other job then I’d get parental leave anyway. So would you.”

“That’s true,” Alex mumbles, his expression morphing into one of consideration. “I’m sure we could find someone to cover for you if you wanted.”

“It’s fine,” Jack responds with a smile, kissing Alex again. “I was kind of kidding.”

“But it’s true,” Alex points out, and Jack shrugs.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine,” Jack says dismissively. “C’mon, I thought you said we need to go.”

“You’ve changed your tune,” Alex says, raising an eyebrow.

“‘Cause we are actually gonna be late if we don’t go soon,” Jack answers with a smile.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you, asshole,” Alex protests, making Jack laugh again.

“Well, you were right.”

“I was what?” Alex asks, pulling back slightly and looking at Jack with fake surprise, unable to keep the smug grin off his face.

“You, Alexander, were right, and I hold my hands up,” Jack responds jokingly, kissing Alex again.

“I think I like it when you’re humble,” Alex murmurs with a smile, reconnecting their lips.

“That’s me – Mr Humility,” Jack jokes, making Alex laugh again.

“Come on, dumbass.”

Chapter Text

Unsurprisingly, wearing a hoodie to stand outside in the blazing sun in July wasn’t Jack’s greatest idea to date. But despite his pregnancy now being public knowledge, he’s still doing his best to hide it; something about the thought of people actually seeing what he looks like scares him.

Although not having to layer up all the time was one of his reasons for wanting to announce his pregnancy. But he didn’t realise at the time how terrifying that would actually be.

“Ugh…” he mutters once a trio of young fans has left the meet-and-greet area.

“Okay?” Alex asks gently as Jack rubs his hand over his forehead.

“Yeah,” Jack responds with a nod. “Just hot.” Alex’s eyes bore into his, sceptically, but he doesn’t say anything else.

“Alright,” Alex responds with a shrug, squeezing Jack’s shoulder affectionately.

“I need some water,” Jack mutters, heading over to the small gazebo set up near the bus.

“You okay?” Bill asks as Jack drops himself heavily down onto the only free chair available in the shade of the gazebo.

“Why the fuck don’t we get one of these?” Jack asks, picking up one of the bottles of water on the small table and cracking it open, taking a long drink. “It’s, like, a thousand degrees out there, and we gotta stand in that shit.”

“That’s a good question,” Bill says. “Although, I gotta say that wearing a hoodie in this weather probably doesn’t help.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “The hoodie’s staying on.”

“If that’s what you wanna do,” Bill answers with a shrug.

“Please, can’t we take this over there?” Jack asks, slumping down in his seat.

“It’s not ours, I’m afraid,” Bill responds, a sympathetic expression on his face. “It’s the venue’s. I just put the water over here to keep it cool.”

“Fuck the venue, man. I’m seven months pregnant. It’s impossible out there,” Jack whines, feeling slightly guilty for playing the pregnancy card yet again, however the dizziness is more than enough to convince him that it’s perhaps justified.

“Dude, I really wish we could, but it’s bolted to the ground, aside from anything else,” Bill says, pointing at the legs of the gazebo. Jack groans softly again when he sees it, and takes another drink of water. “Look, there aren’t that many people for VIP today,” Bill continues, “it probably won’t be that much longer now.”

“That’s easy for you to say when you’re sitting over here in the shade,” Jack mutters.

“That’s true,” Bill responds with a soft chuckle. “Would it make you feel better if I came over there and stood in the heat with you guys?”

“It would, actually,” Jack responds, a small smile on his face.

“Come on then, dude. Let’s go,” Bill says, getting to his feet, and Jack has to admire how quickly Bill showed his loyalty as a friend.

“Fine,” Jack mutters, standing up and walking back out to the meet-and-greet area, Bill in tow.

“What are you doing here?” Rian asks, perplexed, when he sees Bill.

“Jack thought it wasn’t fair that I got to sit in the shade while you guys are out here, so I said I’d suffer with you all,” he explains.

“Sounds like pretty valid logic,” Zack answers with a laugh.

“Exactly,” Jack says, feeling a little self-satisfied.

They’re almost at the end of the meet-and-greet when suddenly Jack starts to feel lightheaded.

“Can we pause for a moment?” He mumbles, leaning against the backdrop for support.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks softly, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

“I’m fine, I’m just a little lightheaded,” Jack mumbles, bringing a hand up to his forehead in a futile attempt to lessen the dizziness.

“Why don’t you go sit down? C’mon,” Alex murmurs, placing his hand on Jack’s shoulder. Jack sighs softly but relents, letting Alex guide him over towards the gazebo.

“You don’t need to worry about me, Alex,” Jack says, taking a seat once they reach the gazebo.

“Of course I do – you’re my boyfriend. It’s, like, in the contract,” Alex jokes, lightening the tone a little.

“Well, I’m fine,” Jack answers, shrugging.

“I just wanna make sure you don’t, like, pass out or something,” Alex says, and Jack huffs softly.

“I’m not gonna pass out.”

“It’s not uncommon during pregnancy,” Alex points out. “And when it’s this hot and you’re wearing a hoodie, it’s possible.” Jack says nothing, opening another bottle of water and taking a long drink. “Why don’t you take the hoodie off?” Alex suggests softly.

“No,” Jack says immediately.

“Baby, it can’t be healthy for you to stand out in this heat all wrapped up,” Alex says gently, resting his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Look, it’s your call obviously, I just think you’d feel better.”

“But I’m so insecure, Alex,” Jack responds in a small voice, looking down at the floor. Alex feels his heart tug.

“I know. But you’re gonna overheat, which can’t be healthy for you or the baby,” Alex says softly, stroking Jack’s face.

“Ugh, fine,” Jack mutters, relenting and pulling his hoodie off, unable to deny the instant relief he feels. “C’mon, we should get back out there,” he adds, staggering to his feet, just wanting to be done with this. Alex says nothing, rubbing Jack’s shoulder affectionately.

“Hey, look who’s finally dressed appropriately,” Rian comments as Jack and Alex return.

“Fuck off,” Jack mutters, wrapping his arms around his stomach self-consciously, already hating being so exposed in front of so many people, so many strangers.

“Okay, I was just teasing,” Rian defends. Jack doesn’t respond, taking a deep breath as he mentally prepares himself.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Chapter Text

The rest of the tour speeds by in a blur, and suddenly it’s almost coming to an end. Although it still isn’t soon enough for Jack, who’s definitely beyond fed up now.

“Motherfucker,” Jack mutters to himself, searching through the small cupboards in the bus’ kitchen for his mug. “Where the fuck is it?” He slams the cupboard door shut roughly, feeling his irritation increasing.

“You okay?” Zack’s voice comes from behind him on the sofa, his attention mostly trained on the tv.

“Fine,” Jack snaps back, slamming yet another cupboard shut as his mug proves ever more elusive. “Fuck this.”

“What’s all this banging?” Alex asks, appearing from the bunk room.

“Jack’s wrestling with the cupboards, apparently,” Zack interjects unhelpfully, only contributing to Jack’s sour mood.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jack retorts, starting to feel a little like he wants to scream. Or cry. Or both.

“Woah, hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asks gently, placing his hands comfortingly on Jack’s shoulders.

“I can’t find my fucking mug,” Jack huffs.

“Is that the one you’re looking for?” Alex asks, gesturing his head over towards the small table. Jack looks over to where Alex is indicating, and sure enough, his eyes land on the very mug he’s been turning the cabinets inside out to find.

“For fuck’s sake,” he grumbles, walking over to the table and retrieving it. Suddenly, however, it’s as though the universe has it in for him, because almost as soon as he picks it up, the mug slides right out of his hand, landing on the floor with a loud crash and splintering into a thousand pieces. This seems to be the last straw, because Jack immediately crumbles, dissolving into quiet sobs as he stands among the shattered pieces of porcelain.

“Hey, let me get that,” Alex murmurs, bending down and beginning to pile broken pieces of the mug into a larger piece. “Why don’t you go sit down?” Alex suggests to Jack. Unwilling to argue, Jack slithers off to the bunk room, shutting the door softly behind himself.

“Is he okay?” Zack asks quietly. “That was… well…” he trails off, not knowing exactly how to describe the last few moments. And also not wanting to appear insensitive.

“He’s okay,” Alex responds with a small nod, collecting the last few pieces of the mug before disposing of them in the small bin. “I think he’s just quite hormonal at the moment. It’s making him a little fragile.”

He heads back into the bunk room – which is thankfully empty as everyone else decided to go out to some bar and Jack, Alex and Zack were the only ones who stayed – and finds Jack sitting sideways on his bunk, his back hunched and his legs crossed.

The scene gives him a slight déjà vu of the first few weeks of Jack’s pregnancy, when he found Jack much like this after the bus party.

“Hey,” Alex murmurs, coming to sit beside Jack and wrapping his arm around Jack’s shoulders. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Everything’s just… getting to me,” Jack responds in a broken voice. “I know I overreacted, I’m just… exhausted. I wanna go home.” Alex sighs softly, rubbing Jack’s back comfortingly.

“There’s only a week left, baby,” Alex whispers, leaning his head against Jack’s. “Only four more shows. We’re almost there.”

“I know, but I feel like I’ve run out of energy,” Jack whimpers. “I’m fucking tired all the time, everything aches. I just wanna be done with being pregnant. But then that means actually giving birth, and I’m terrified of that.” Jack sniffles softly as his eyes fill up again, and a few more tears run down his cheeks.

“Shh. Slow down,” Alex murmurs, wrapping his other arm around Jack and pulling him close. “You’re getting way ahead of yourself.”

“I know, I’m just… scared. Pissed off. Sad. Everything.”

“It’s okay,” Alex soothes, kissing the top of Jack’s head. “I’ve got you, baby.”

“I love you,” Jack says with a quiet sniffle, leaning into Alex’s embrace.

“I love you too,” Alex responds, stroking Jack’s hair comfortingly.

“Sorry I got so worked up,” Jack mumbles. Alex huffs out a soft laugh, kissing Jack’s head again.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re allowed. You’re thirty-five weeks pregnant – if there’s any excuse to cry over a broken mug, it’s now.” This takes Jack enough by surprise that he lets out a small laugh, and Alex takes that as a win. “I know something that might cheer you up,” Alex adds, and Jack lifts his head up, looking at Alex with a raised eyebrow.

“Go on,” Jack says, wiping his eyes with the hem of his t-shirt.

“I think there’s still some ice cream left in the freezer. Why don’t we finish it?” Alex suggests, and Jack smiles in spite of himself.

“That sounds amazing,” he says. “You’re the best.”

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jack asks as he catches Bill alone in the bus’ kitchen the next morning.

“Sure. What’s up?” Bill asks, making himself a cup of coffee.

“Is there any way I can sit the last few shows out?” Jack asks, leaning back against the counter. “I know it’s really last-minute, but I’m so tired. Do you think we could maybe get someone to fill in for me? Just for these last four?” Bill pauses what he’s doing, pursing his lips in consideration.

“Well, it’s gonna be a little hard to find someone so late in the day,” he responds honestly. “Especially since we’re right at the end of the tour. But I’ll see what I can do. You deserve the rest, so I’m gonna do what I can.” Jack sighs softly, feeling a slight relief even at the notion of being able to rest.

“That sounds great. Thank you so much,” he says.

Somehow, Bill manages to work his magic, finding someone to fill in for Jack for the last few shows. And Jack has never been so grateful.

“You could’ve stayed in the hotel room, man,” Bill points out as he and Jack sit in the dressing room while the others are onstage.

Jack shrugs. “It’s comfortable enough here,” he says, sprawled out on one of the sofas. “And besides, I kinda like being able to hear the show from here.”

“Okay, well, if you need me, I’ll be backstage,” Bill responds, getting up from his own seat and heading towards the door. “Come find me if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Jack says with an appreciative smile, and Bill disappears out the door.

As soon as Jack’s on his own, he suddenly feels at a slight loose end; perhaps he should’ve stayed in the hotel room after all. At least it probably would’ve been nicer to sit on the bed rather than the small leather sofa. Plus he probably has more to do up there.

But if he’s honest, the main reason he’s here is probably a slight aversion to missing out; as much as this was his own choice, he can’t say he doesn’t miss being up onstage with the others.

With nothing better to do, he starts scrolling through his phone, alternating between looking at social media and YouTube videos of whatever comes up. And it ends up killing time quite effectively, in fact, because suddenly it’s been about forty minutes, which means that the set is just under halfway through.

He’s just about to choose something else to watch when a sudden, dull pain makes its way across his abdomen. Huh; that can’t be good. But when it disappears as quickly as it came, Jack shrugs it off. Probably just indigestion, he thinks.

Several minutes later, however, the strange pain comes back again, making it a little harder to ignore.

Trying not to start worrying, he gets up and heads out of the dressing room in search of some water, thinking that hydration might help with the pain.

Almost inevitably, he ends up running into Bill in the corridor, walking in the opposite direction.

“Oh, hey,” Bill says, surprised. “You okay?”

Jack nods feverishly. “Yeah, fine,” he lies. “Just wanted some water.”

“There are a few unopened bottles backstage,” Bill responds. “Want me to get you one?”

“Yes please,” Jack says gratefully, absentmindedly bringing a hand to his stomach with a slight wince as he feels another wave of pain.

“You sure you’re okay?” Bill asks again.

“I’m fine, I’m just… suffering from a little indigestion,” Jack answers. Bill shrugs, not entirely believing it, but not protesting.

“Well, do you wanna head back to the dressing room and I can grab you some water?” He suggests, and Jack smiles appreciatively.

“That would be great, thank you,” Jack responds. Bill nods, heading back in the other direction, and Jack returns to the dressing room.

It’s fine. It’s all fine. Pain isn’t abnormal. Right? They certainly couldn’t be contractions. Could they?

Jack doesn’t even want to entertain the idea.

He walks over to the small table on the other side of the room, placing his hands on it as if bracing himself, and takes a deep breath.

This can’t be happening. He can’t be in labour just yet. The tour isn’t even over. There’s still so much to do before the baby arrives.

And not to mention that it’s still five weeks too early.

The door opens a few moments later, and Bill walks back in.

“Jack, are you sure you’re okay?” He asks as he catches sight of Jack.

“I…” Jack starts; part of him wants to deny it, because if he pretends it’s not happening, it’s almost as if it isn’t. But then he feels another pain, and he realises that no amount of denial is going to change the fact that this is happening. “I think… I might be going into labour.”

“What the fuck?!” Bill says, seemingly unprepared. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t know,” Jack admits, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. “I’m just having pains, and they keep coming in waves. I’m worried that they’re contractions.”

“Fuck,” Bill mutters. “So what happens now? Are you gonna go to the hospital?”

“No,” Jack answers immediately. “Not without Alex.”

“Should I go get him?” Bill asks. But Jack shakes his head.

“No. At least wait until the encore.” He straightens up slightly, crossing his arms nervously. “Even if I am in labour, there’s no hurry – labour can take, like, twenty-four hours.” Bill nods solemnly, one hand on his hip while the other rests on his chin thoughtfully.

“Alright,” he says finally. “But at least let me get him when they come off before the encore.”

“Fine,” Jack says with a sigh, walking over to the sofa and dropping heavily onto it.

“God, I’m so thirsty,” Alex mutters as they all walk backstage, picking up a bottle of water and downing half of it in one go.

“Alex,” Bill calls out, hurrying into the small backstage area.

“Everything okay?” Alex asks, concerned by Bill’s urgency.

“I think Jack’s going into labour,” Bill says, and Alex’s eyes practically pop out of his head.

“What?!” He asks, instantly starting to panic.

“He said he was having pains, and that they keep coming and going. It sounds like contractions,” Bill explains, and Alex goes white.

“But he’s, like, a month early,” Alex says in a small voice. “Fuck this. We have to cut the show short.”

“Of course,” Bill says. “You go be with Jack. I’ll handle the rest.” Alex darts into the corridor, running down it at full speed towards the dressing room.

“Jack?” He calls out as he enters the dressing room, slightly winded. “Are you okay?” He adds when he sees Jack sitting on the small sofa.

“I’m fine,” Jack responds with a small smile.

“Are you still having contractions?” Alex asks, coming to sit beside Jack.

“I don’t know,” Jack responds. “I mean, yeah, I’m still getting the pains. But I really don’t know if they’re contractions.” Alex sighs heavily rubbing Jack’s shoulder.

“Should we go to the hospital?”

“I don’t think so,” Jack answers. “If I am in labour, then I’m still very early on, and there won’t be anything they can do.”

“But you’re still a month early,” Alex points out, “which is why getting checked out isn’t a bad idea. Also, if it’s not labour, then that means it’s something else, and we should probably find out what. What if something’s wrong?”

Jack sighs heavily, sinking in his seat. “I don’t wanna have the baby yet,” he says in a small voice. “I’m not ready. Fuck. We haven’t even gotten to go home yet. Her room isn’t even ready. What are we gonna do?”

“Hey, slow down,” Alex says softly, wrapping one arm around Jack’s shoulders while the other rubs his thigh comfortingly. “You might not even be in labour. It could be something small. But we won’t know until we get to the hospital.

“I guess you’re right,” Jack responds with another sigh. “I’m scared.”

“I know, baby,” Alex murmurs. “But I’m gonna be with you the whole way.” Jack nods slightly, and Alex rubs his shoulder reassuringly. “Should we go to the hospital, then?”

Jack nods again. “I guess so.”

“I’ll call a cab, then,” Alex says in response, getting to his feet as he dials a cab company on his phone. Jack staggers off the sofa, pulling himself up by the arm, but almost as soon as he’s standing, he feels another wave of pain, more intense than the previous ones, and he slumps against the wall.

“Fuck,” he mutters, resting a hand on his stomach and slouching as he waits for the pain to pass.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks worriedly as soon as he hangs up the phone, before realising that that was probably a stupid question.

“That one felt real,” Jack says, his voice wobbling from fear. “Fuck, Alex.”

“Hey, listen to me,” Alex says gently, cupping Jack’s face in his hands. “It’s gonna be okay. You can do this.”

“But what if something’s wrong with the baby?” Jack says in a small voice, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Baby, you can’t think like that,” Alex murmurs, looking deep into Jack’s eyes. “We won’t know anything for sure until we get to the hospital. C’mon – let’s go.”

Chapter Text

By the time they’re sitting in the waiting room, the pains still haven’t let up, doing nothing to ease Jack’s worries.

“How are you doing?” Alex asks softly, squeezing Jack’s hand.

“The pain’s still coming and going, but it’s not getting any stronger,” Jack answers. “And it’s not regular at all. It’s kinda just… there.” Alex sighs softly, feeling his stomach churn slightly with nerves; that certainly doesn’t sound like labour. But then what is it?

“Have you ever heard of Braxton-Hicks?” The doctor says as she enters the room where Jack has been sent to wait. Jack’s stomach churns anxiously.

“No, is it something bad?” He asks, trying not to assume the worst. The doctor flashes a small smile, although not at Jack’s expense.

“No, don’t worry,” she responds reassuringly. “Braxton-Hicks contractions are essentially just false contractions, and they’re very common in pregnancy.”

Jack frowns. “False contractions?” He asks, confused. “You mean I’m not in labour?”

“While Braxton-Hicks can definitely feel like real contractions and are often confused for labour pains, you’re not actually in labour right now, no.” 

“And it’s nothing bad?”

“No, don’t worry. While uncomfortable, they are, for the most part, harmless,” the doctor responds. Jack can’t help it when he breathes a sigh of relief, and Alex squeezes his hand, feeling his own nerves start to disappear.

“Thank fuck,” Jack mutters. “Although this feels pretty embarrassing now.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” the doctor responds brightly. “Many people confuse them for real contractions. And it’s always better to get checked out, just in case.”

“That’s what I was saying,” Alex says softly to Jack, rubbing his arm affectionately. Jack sighs again quietly, still trying to process everything.

“I feel like such a dumbass,” Jack comments as Alex gets into bed beside him later that evening.

“Why?”

“‘Cause we went to the fucking hospital over nothing,” Jack answers.

“It’s always better to be safe,” Alex points out, but Jack shrugs.

“It just made me feel like I don’t fucking know what I’m doing,” Jack continues.

“What do you mean?” Alex asks softly, rolling onto his side.

“It’s completely normal in pregnancy, the doctor said,” Jack replies, picking at his nails and avoiding Alex’s eyes. “And yet I had no idea about it, and just assumed the worst.”

“I mean, I was the one who convinced you to go to the hospital,” Alex says. “But more importantly, like I said, it’s better to be safe.”

“No, I know that,” Jack answers, and Alex raises an eyebrow. “It’s just, like, I feel like I should’ve known about that, y’know? But I’ve done fuck all preparation and I feel like I know nothing about pregnancy, really.”

“That’s not true,” Alex says firmly with a frown.

“Well, I haven’t read a single parenting book or gone to a class or anything like that,” Jack counters, but Alex snorts.

“Come on, those things are fucking bullshit,” he retorts, almost without meaning to. “All the previous generations seemed to be fine without them.”

“Yeah, and then their kids grew up to have unresolved trauma ‘cause their parents didn’t know how to raise them correctly,” Jack mutters, and Alex rolls his eyes, beginning to lose patience with the whole endeavour just a little.

“Jack, seriously, generational trauma is definitely not caused by parents not reading a fucking book before having kids,” Alex says.

“You don’t know that.”

“Jack, listen to me,” Alex starts, propping himself up with his elbow and leaning over Jack, “you going to the hospital over a false alarm means nothing in terms of your parenting skills. I know you, and I know that you’re gonna be the best dad ever. Not reading a fucking book or going to some stupid class isn’t gonna change that.”

“It just feels like I haven’t made enough of an effort.”

Alex chuckles softly. “Babe, I promise you that not reading some dumb fucking book doesn’t mean you’re not making an effort.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. “What do you have against books so much?”

Alex shrugs. “I don’t know, I just feel like they’re a money-making scheme, mostly. And not to mention that they change every few years or so, so the information doesn’t even stay relevant for that long.”

“Big talk from someone who’s never even picked one up,” Jack comments, although he’s smiling slightly.

“Well, my parents never used one and I think I turned out okay.”

“I don’t know, it took you a while to figure out that you liked me. Maybe that’s your unresolved trauma,” Jack teases, and Alex rolls his eyes.

“Hey, fuck you,” he says, but his tone is playful.

“Just saying,” Jack says with a smirk, “maybe if your parents had read more books before you were born, you might’ve had a less complicated relationship with your sexuality.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly the problem,” Alex deadpans sarcastically, leaning down and kissing Jack. “You’re a moron.”

“Oh, I know,” Jack answers with a laugh, and Alex kisses him again. “It’s crazy,” Jack continues after a moment, “for a minute back there, I really thought we were gonna be bringing our daughter home today. Or, well, tomorrow, I guess.”

“Me too,” Alex murmurs with a small smile. “I know it would’ve been crazy bad timing, but I’m almost disappointed.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Jack mutters, and Alex huffs out a soft laugh.

“I know, but y’know…” Alex trails off, resting his hand on Jack’s stomach. “It’s still crazy, the thought of us having a baby,” he adds softly a moment later.

“I gotta say, I think it’s just a little late for you to bail now,” Jack jokes, and Alex laughs again.

“Don’t worry, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried,” Alex whispers, pecking Jack’s lips sweetly.

“Good to know,” Jack responds with a chuckle. “She’s kicking again, by the way.”

“Really?” Alex asks enthusiastically, moving his hand around Jack’s stomach to try to feel the movement.

“Here,” Jack says, moving Alex’s hand across his stomach. “She kicks a lot when you’re around.”

“I’m always around,” Alex points out, although he’s unable to fight the smile that breaks across his face, feeling his stomach fluttering.

“Well, when you talk,” Jack amends. “They say unborn babies can hear voices and music.”

“She’s probably really familiar with our setlist for this tour by now, then,” Alex comments, and Jack snorts softly.

“I’m serious. I think she recognises your voice.”

“You think so?” Alex asks softly, his heart swelling with adoration.

“It’s possible, definitely,” Jack answers, and Alex settles down beside him, resting his head on Jack’s shoulder. “I just feel like she’s extra restless when you talk. Like she knows it’s you.”

“That’s so cool,” Alex murmurs. “I can’t wait until she’s here.” Jack exhales softly, wrapping his arm around Alex’s shoulders and shutting his eyes contentedly.

“Me neither.”

Chapter Text

“Ugh, God, I can’t wait to be home,” Jack mutters, dropping heavily into the small plane seat and sticking his feet out into the aisle. “I barely even fit in the fucking seat anymore. That’s depressing.”

“Why don’t you lift up the armrest?” Alex suggests from beside him.

“I don’t think they move,” Jack grumbles. “Never mind. It’s only a short flight. I’ll probably just nap, anyway.”

“Wanna lean on me?” Alex offers with a smile, which Jack returns easily, and he rests his head on Alex’s shoulder, shutting his eyes as the plane’s safety instructions go over his head.

“This is nice,” Jack murmurs, and Alex wraps his arm around Jack and pulls him closer, leaning his head against Jack’s. “Y’know,” Jack continues, “this has to be the first time I’m actually looking forward to going home.”

“Oh?” Alex asks softly, turning his head slightly to look down at Jack.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Jack adds, fiddling with the fabric of his hoodie, “I always wanna go home by the end of a tour. But even then, I’m usually looking forward to the next one, or at least to getting back into the studio. But this time, I actually can’t wait to take time off.”

“I get that,” Alex muses. “Although, it’s kinda different this time.”

Jack chuckles softly. “Tell me about it.”

“If you’d given me a million chances, I don’t think I ever would’ve guessed that this would happen,” Alex murmurs, kissing the top of Jack’s head. “But I wouldn’t change it for anything.” Jack chuckles softly, although he doesn’t respond, already drifting off to sleep.

As he sits there, slipping in and out of consciousness, he thinks about everything, about how crazy it is that their lives changed so much on just one tour. And how it somehow seems incredibly on-brand that their longest tour to date just so happens to be the one where he ended up pregnant only a couple months into it and so, as a result, is now flying back home eight months pregnant.

Life is funny.

Once they arrive back at Alex’s – or, as it now is, their – house, Jack suddenly realises quite how much he needed it, the mental exhaustion almost catching up to the physical fatigue and general discomfort that comes with being eight months pregnant.

“Want a hand with that?” Alex asks, gesturing to the suitcase that Jack is attempting to drag up the stairs.

He really appreciates that Alex has started asking before helping him with things now.

“God – yes, please,” Jack responds, out of breath from trying to lift up the heavy bag along with his body that’s literally carrying a baby. Alex chuckles softly and effortlessly picks up Jack’s luggage, taking it up to his – their – room. “Show off,” Jack mutters jokingly.

“You okay?” Alex asks, grinning as he descends the stairs again. Jack huffs out a laugh.

“Aside from walking around feeling like there’s a fucking watermelon strapped to my body, I’m fine,” he responds. Alex just smiles wider, more sympathetically, and kisses Jack softly, pulling him close as he does so.

“Well, soon that watermelon will be our little melon baby,” he says, but Jack just snorts.

“A jelly baby, if you will,” he quips, earning a loud laugh from Alex, the sound resonating from his chest and making Jack’s stomach flutter in adoration.

The things he’ll do to hear that sound.

“Should we name her Jelly?” Alex asks with an amused smile, interrupting Jack’s train of thought, but Jack rolls his eyes, huffing softly.

“Absolutely not,” he deadpans.

“Buzzkill,” Alex retorts, although he laughs again. “Come on, I’m gonna take my own bags upstairs, but what do you say, after that, we just lie in bed for the rest of the day and do nothing?”

“I love the sound of that,” Jack responds, smiling contentedly.

The following morning, Jack wakes up to see Alex busily reorganising his wardrobe.

“What are you doing?” Jack asks in confusion through the gloom.

“Sorting out the wardrobe,” Alex answers nonchalantly, as if it’s obvious.

“What? Why?” Jack asks, still confused. “And why now?”

“You need some space for your things,” Alex explains. “Just thought I’d get rid of some of my old shit that I don’t wear anymore.” He takes a hoodie out of the wardrobe, discarding it on the floor before returning the empty hanger to the right-hand side.

“Oh, Alex, you don’t need to do that,” Jack says. “I don’t want you to have to get rid of stuff for me.”

“It’s okay,” Alex says. “I have so many clothes. I could do with getting rid of some, to be honest. And besides, you can’t live out of your suitcase forever.” Jack bites his lip, not responding – he supposes Alex is right.

“Well, you definitely don’t have to do it now,” Jack says eventually. “Come back to bed.”

“It’s alright,” Alex says. “I was awake, so I thought I might as well. I have other shit to do, anyway.”

“Such as?”

“Unpacking, for one thing,” Alex says. “And rearranging one of the guest rooms so we can start to get it ready for the baby.”

“We don’t need to do it all in one day,” Jack points out. “And definitely not at-” he reaches over to his bedside table, lighting up his phone to see the time. “Seven AM.” He pauses for a moment before adding, “y’know, you’ll probably wanna make the most of sleeping in while you can before the baby’s born.” Alex pauses his movement for a moment, considering Jack’s words.

“That’s true,” he mutters.

“So come back to bed,” Jack says simply.

“Alright, I guess,” Alex mutters, putting what he’s holding back in the wardrobe before slinking over towards the bed, climbing back into it.

“Much better,” Jack says softly as Alex gets back into position, lying on his side with his chest pressed up against Jack’s back and his arm draped across Jack’s torso, the two of them fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.

“Want some breakfast?” Alex asks as Jack saunters into the kitchen at a much more reasonable time of eleven o’clock.

“Sounds good. What are you making?” Jack asks, coming to stand beside Alex as he stands over the stove.

“Just scrambled eggs. But there’s other stuff, if you want.”

Jack wrinkles his nose. “Wait, did you leave eggs in your fridge for eight months?”

Alex laughs softly. “Of course not. I went out earlier to grab a few things from the store.”

“What the hell time did you get up in the end, then?” Jack asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Like, nine-thirty,” Alex answers. “I didn’t really go back to sleep, anyway, so I thought I’d run a couple errands.”

“Are you always this efficient?” Jack asks with a chuckle; he can’t help but feel like Alex is trying to impress him just a little.

Although, admittedly, it’s working.

“Not usually. I guess you just bring it out in me,” Alex jokes, but Jack can’t help the slight guilt he feels.

“There’s really no need to do all this for me, Al,” he says. “I mean, it’s lovely, but I don’t want to, like, get in the way of your usual routine.” To Jack’s surprise, this makes Alex laugh aloud.

“Baby, I hate to point out the obvious,” he says, turning away from the stove and placing his hands on the sides of Jack’s face, “but I feel like we’re doing a little more than interrupting my so-called ‘routine’.” He caresses Jack’s cheek with his thumb, leaning forward and kissing him softly. “Like, I wasn’t gonna come home and just carry on with my life as normal, as though nothing’s changed. But that’s a good thing, y’know? We’re about to become parents. Of course things are gonna change. But for the better, of course.”

“So you’re telling me that the prospect of fatherhood is suddenly turning you into some kind of super-productive wizard?” Jack quips with a raised eyebrow, and Alex chuckles again.

“Exactly,” he answers. “Now, if you don’t mind, I was in the middle of something.” He lets Jack go and resumes tending to his scrambled eggs, removing the pan from the light and tipping the eggs out onto a plate. “Want some?”

“I think I’ll just have some cereal, if that’s okay,” Jack answers, opening a nearby cupboard and taking out a brand new box of Froot Loops. “Mind if I open this?”

“It's your house too, you don’t need to ask,” Alex answers with a small smile, which Jack returns, opening up the box carefully and pouring himself a bowl before grabbing the milk from the fridge. He takes a seat at the small kitchen table, and Alex joins him moments later, sitting across from Jack with his plate of scrambled eggs. “So, I was thinking,” Alex starts, “later on, I can go pick up some of the stuff we ordered to be delivered to my mom’s so we can get started on the baby’s room.”

Jack snorts softly, swallowing a mouthful of Froot Loops. “Alex, slow down,” he says, putting his spoon down and looking up at Alex. “We literally just got home yesterday. We don’t need to do everything all at once.”

“I just think it’s good to get it done while we’re thinking about it,” Alex points out.

“We have time,” Jack answers simply.

“I know, but isn’t it better to get it done soon instead of leaving it until the last minute?” Alex asks.

Jack heaves a quiet sigh. “I don’t really want to do anything today, to be honest.”

“That’s okay,” Alex answers cheerily. “I’m more than happy to get started on my own.”

“Alex,” Jack starts, firmly but gently, “can we please leave it for today? We still have, like, a month. I’m too fucking tired to think about any of that today. Let’s just rest for today and settle in, okay?”

Alex huffs softly, but nods reluctantly. “Okay.”

Jack and Alex’s ideas of resting seem to somewhat differ, however.

Jack sits on the sofa half-watching something on Netflix while Alex busies himself with rearranging everything in sight.

“What are you doing?” Jack asks incredulously as he watches Alex sort through a small drawer in the bottom of the TV console.

“Just making room,” Alex answers simply.

“For what?” Jack asks, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

“I just wanna make sure you have enough space for everything,” Alex explains, picking through an array of junk that seems to have accumulated in the drawer over the years.

“Al, I promise you I’m not gonna need space in a random junk drawer,” Jack says, an amused smile on his face. “All I have with me is clothes. I just need wardrobe space, really.”

“Well, you’re gonna move everything in eventually, right?” Alex asks.

“Of course, but that’s, like, ages away,” Jack says. “I’m not gonna do it while I’m still pregnant, and I’m definitely not gonna do it right after the baby’s born and I’m still healing, so honestly we’re probably looking at another few months before I sell my place and move all my shit in here. If and when I need space in the junk drawer, then we can make some. Until then, you really don’t need to worry.”

“I just wanna make sure you feel at home,” Alex says.

“I do,” Jack responds.

“No, like, properly at home,” Alex amends. “You’re living here now, I want you to feel like it’s your home too. I don’t want you to feel like a guest in someone else’s house.”

“But I don’t,” Jack says, although it’s not completely convincing.

“You do,” Alex points out. “Look at you – you’re even sitting like it’s not your house,” he adds, gesturing vaguely to the way Jack is sitting right up against the arm of the sofa as though he’s afraid of taking up more than his fair share of space.

“It’s gonna take some getting used to,” Jack admits. “We literally arrived yesterday – I’m not gonna settle in overnight. But I’ll get there, I promise.”

“I get that,” Alex answers softly. “I just wanna make it easier for you.”

“And I really appreciate it, but I feel like rearranging the whole house like you’re hopped up on energy drinks isn’t the way to go about it,” Jack comments with a small smile, equal parts amused and endeared by Alex’s almost intense dedication.

Alex releases a soft laugh. “What can I do, then?”

“Just be with me,” Jack responds. “I wanna spend time with you.” He puts on a faux pout and opens his arms, silently motioning for Alex to join him.

“Like we haven’t spent the last eight months together,” Alex retorts; his tone is joking, but Jack’s face falls immediately, and he seems to shrink into himself.

“Oh… never mind then,” Jack says in a small voice, and Alex immediately feels a stab of guilt.

“No, I was kidding,” Alex amends, getting to his feet and crossing over to the sofa, perching beside Jack and resting a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Of course I was kidding. I mean, I asked you to move in with me, didn’t I?”

Jack snorts softly. “Is that gonna be your excuse for everything?”

“No, asshole,” Alex says with a huff. “I was just pointing it out to show that I want you here.”

“I know,” Jack responds, a smile crossing his face. “I was just teasing you.” Alex raises an eyebrow in surprise, and he lightly slaps Jack’s shoulder with the back of his hand.

“You dick, I thought I’d upset you,” he says, and Jack laughs.

“I guess I’m just that good at acting,” Jack answers, earning an eyeroll from Alex, although he’s smiling.

“Asshole,” Alex mutters, putting an arm around Jack’s waist and pulling him close, propping his feet up on the coffee table as he relaxes against Jack.

“This is more like it,” Jack murmurs, shutting his eyes and resting his head on Alex’s shoulder. “Where’s the remote? I wanna turn this shit off,” he adds after a moment, reaching blindly around as the next episode of whatever Jack had put on earlier starts playing.

“Oh, I think I’m sitting on it,” Alex responds, shifting himself slightly as he reaches for the remote that had somehow made its way between their thighs, and he switches the TV off.

“Thank you,” Jack says, sighing quietly. “Fuck, it’s so nice to be home.”

Chapter Text

Jack lies in bed, tossing and turning and unable to fall asleep.

It doesn’t help that the baby also seems to be particularly restless tonight, although it could be that he’s woken her up with his own movements. See how you like it, he thinks jokingly.

He picks his phone up from the bedside table, lighting up its screen to display the time.

Four AM.

He sighs internally, putting it back down and rubbing his face with his hands.

He’s been lying there wide awake for four hours.

It’s not that he isn’t tired – he absolutely is; being almost nine months pregnant, he’s constantly tired. He’s just anxious tonight for some reason.

Sighing quietly, he gets out of bed, carefully so as not to disturb Alex, and heads to the bathroom to pee, mainly for something to do.

He flushes the toilet and washes his hands, and his stomach rumbles slightly. Knowing that there’s no rush to go back to bed since he clearly isn’t going to be getting to sleep any time soon, he heads downstairs in search of something to eat.

He ends up making some toast with butter and honey, and as he stands there eating it silently in the kitchen, he thinks about how odd hormones are – he never used to like honey before he got pregnant, much less with butter; why on earth should he like it now?

“Jack?” Alex’s voice comes suddenly through the darkness, almost giving Jack a heart attack, and he nearly drops his plate.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Alex,” Jack responds, feeling his heart pounding out of his chest. “Holy shit, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” Alex says, sounding slightly amused. He turns on the kitchen light, and Jack blinks at the sudden change in brightness. “Why are you up?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Jack responds sombrely, putting his plate in the dishwasher once he’s finished the end of his toast. “And I was hungry.”

“You okay, babe?” Alex asks softly, stepping closer to Jack and taking a hold of his hand. Jack sighs shakily, looking down at the floor. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking,” Jack says, resting a hand on his stomach absentmindedly and feeling the baby kick gently.

“Bold move,” Alex jokes. “About what?”

Jack shrugs. “Just… things. I don’t know. The baby, mostly.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks, furrowing his eyebrows and putting his arm around Jack’s waist, standing beside him.

“It’s like it’s just hit me – I’m gonna have a baby so soon, Alex. We’re gonna be parents within, like, the next month or so. I don’t think I’m ready. I mean, fuck, I’m only twenty-four. I’m way too young to have a baby.”

“What’s brought this on?” Alex asks, pulling Jack closer to him and kissing the side of his head.

“I don’t know,” Jack sighs, resting his head against Alex’s. “Are you scared?” He adds after some hesitation.

“Scared of what, babe?” Alex whispers, brushing Jack’s hair out of his face and stroking his cheek. Jack snorts quietly, although more out of fear than irritation.

“Y’know, the fact that we’re gonna be completely responsible for a tiny, defenceless baby, and we’re barely adults ourselves,” Jack exclaims, and Alex can sense that he’s spiralling, so he repositions himself, turning to face Jack front-on and gently placing his hands on Jack’s shoulders. “I mean, am I the only one of us who’s worried? I feel like I’ve gone through this whole thing feeling so much more nervous than you. Hell, you weren’t even concerned when I told you I’m pregnant. Am I just overreacting?”

“Baby, slow down, take a deep breath,” Alex says calmly, gazing into Jack’s eyes. Jack nods, doing as instructed and breathing in deeply, and he looks down at the floor, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed for getting so worked up. “Of course I’m nervous – this is a huge thing. But I’m also excited,” Alex continues, and Jack scoffs. “But,” Alex adds before Jack can start spiralling again, “it’s easy for me to say – I’m not the one carrying the baby. I’m not the one who’s gonna have to give birth to her. It’s unfair to compare our feelings because it’s obviously not gonna be as hard for me as it is for you.”

“It doesn’t help that there’s still so fucking much to do before she gets here,” Jack adds in a small voice. “We haven’t even started preparing her room, and we have no ideas for names. She’s gonna be here in a matter of weeks with no fucking name and nowhere to sleep.”

“We’ll get it done, babe,” Alex murmurs, deciding against pointing out that he’s offered a few times over the last week since they got home to get started on getting the baby’s room ready, and each time has been turned down for an array of different reasons. “Everything’s gonna be okay, alright?”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Jack mutters.

“It will,” Alex says firmly, his hands still on Jack’s shoulders. “We’ll figure it out in time, I promise.” He rests his forehead against Jack’s, and Jack says nothing, shutting his eyes and taking comfort in the closeness. “Come back to bed,” Alex adds in a whisper. “It’s late, and I know from experience that anxiety and overthinking are always so much worse when it’s late.”

“I can’t sleep though,” Jack responds. “That was part of the problem.”

“Well, come lie in bed at least,” Alex says. “Even just resting your eyes is better than staying up all night worrying.” Jack shrugs but relents anyway, and lets Alex lead him back to their room.

“Sorry for freaking out,” Jack says once they’re back in bed, resting his head on Alex’s chest.

“Why are you apologising?” Alex asks.

“I don’t know. I just feel like I’m being dramatic,” Jack responds, nuzzling his nose into Alex’s neck. 

“Baby, you’re not being dramatic,” Alex murmurs, running his fingertips up and down Jack’s arm comfortingly. “I often feel like it’s understated how hard pregnancy is. You’re so strong, Jack. You’re doing so well. You’re allowed to be nervous.” Jack sighs heavily, and he drapes his arm across Alex’s middle.

“I love you,” he whispers. Alex gives a small smile, wrapping his other arm around Jack’s shoulders and combing his fingers through Jack’s hair soothingly, kissing the top of his head.

“I love you too,” Alex responds softly.

The following morning, Alex slides out of bed before Jack - not necessarily an uncommon occurrence at the moment, Alex has come to realise – and makes his way downstairs. He sends a quick text to his mom, saying that he’ll be over later to collect everything they ordered, deciding to finally get started on the baby’s room. In the meantime, however, he sits on the sofa with his notebook open on his crossed legs, biting absentmindedly at the end of his pen as he stares at the page with the heading ‘baby names’ at the top, and nothing else underneath.

He thinks back to the first time he and Jack discussed baby names; he’d said that they could name her after something special to them. But now that he’s thinking about it… what exactly does that consist of?

When he was a teenager, he probably would’ve wanted to name his kids after his favourite band members. But considering that they've now at least worked with most of the bands Alex used to love, it probably wouldn't hold quite the same meaning as it would have in the past.

And also, they’re hardly going to name their daughter Mark. Or Tom.

He rolls the pen between his fingers and puts the tip to the page, willing himself to write something, anything.

Daisy? Not bad, but perhaps a little basic. Rose? Rosie? Ivy?

It doesn't escape his notice that for some reason all his ideas seem to be flower-based; nevertheless, he gets writing, thinking it better to have something. Although none of his ideas are anything he’d be particularly sold on for the rest of his daughter’s life.

Iris? That’s certainly pretty, and not all that common. He adds it to the list, underlining it to emphasise that it’s one that he actually likes.

He sighs heavily; maybe they should just pick out of a hat.

“Hey,” Jack’s voice comes a few minutes later, taking Alex by surprise and pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Oh, hey,” he responds with a smile. “How are you feeling this morning?”

Jack shrugs. “I’m okay. I think I was just having, like, a moment last night, but I’m okay now.”

“You sure?” Alex asks gently, unable to get the distressed look in Jack’s eyes last night out of his mind. But Jack nods.

“Yeah, I promise. What are you doing, anyway?” Jack says as he heads into the kitchen to make himself some coffee, obviously wanting to change the subject.

“Trying to think of some baby names,” Alex answers, deciding to let it go – he just has to trust that Jack is okay. “Why is it so fucking hard?”

“What do you have so far?” Jack asks, returning to the living room and sitting down beside Alex, placing his mug on the coffee table.

“Here,” Alex says, passing Jack the notebook and letting him scan his eyes across the list.

“Never knew you were such a big fan of agriculture,” Jack jokes as he spots the unintentional naming pattern.

“Yeah, I don’t know why they’re all flowers,” Alex responds, and Jack chuckles softly.

“Iris is nice, though,” he says.

“Yeah, I guess,” Alex agrees. “I’m not, like, sold on it, but at least it’s a start. Do you have any ideas?”

Jack sighs softly. “I really don’t know.” He slumps in his seat, putting Alex’s notebook aside and resting his hands on his stomach as he purses his lips thoughtfully. “Why don’t we just look at a baby name list?”

Alex shrugs. “Guess it can’t hurt.” He takes his phone out of his pocket, opening up Safari and typing ‘baby names’ into the search bar. “Isabella’s kinda cute, I guess,” Alex adds as his eyes land on the list. “Fourth most popular this year.”

“It's alright,” Jack answers. “I don't think it's worth adding to the list, though.”

“Fair enough. I think there are, like, a hundred on this list, so we have a lot to choose from.” He keeps scrolling down, before huffing out a soft laugh. “Oh, apparently your name’s the tenth most popular boys’ name.”

“Oh, funny,” Jack comments with a small smile. “Is yours on there?”

“Let’s see,” Alex answers, scrolling in silence for a few moments before letting out a muted snort. “Yes. Both Alexander and Alex are on here,” he adds, and Jack laughs.

“Wow, you’re even more basic than I am,” Jack jokes.

“I don’t know – Jackson is the second most popular name,” Alex retorts.

“Hey, fuck you, asshole, my name is not Jackson,” Jack says, although he’s still laughing.

Alex chuckles. “Jackary?”

“That’s not even a name, dumbass,” Jack answers with a snort. “It’s Zachary.”

“Jackary and Zachary,” Alex quips, making Jack snort again.

“What does that make you then? Ackary?”

“Ackary and Riackary?” Alex muses, and they both laugh aloud.

“All Time Lackary,” Jack says, making them laugh harder at the ridiculousness of it all.

“You’re such an idiot,” Alex comments, but his tone is full of affection.

“Okay, rude,” Jack says, although he’s still grinning widely. Alex rolls his eyes fondly, leaning across to Jack and pressing a sweet kiss onto his lips.

“I love you,” Alex whispers against Jack’s lips, a trace of a smile still on his face.

“I love you too,” Jack returns, kissing Alex once more before they separate.

“Y’know, we’ve still made no progress in choosing a name,” Alex points out, repositioning himself on the sofa so that he’s lying lengthways with his feet on Jack’s lap. “How did you choose your name?”

“It’s kind of a dumb story,” Jack says, his hands absentmindedly running up and down Alex’s legs.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Alex says, always a little worried about overstepping when it comes to questions like this.

“No, it’s okay,” Jack says. “When I was a kid and I used to play make-believe, I always used to like to be a boy. Which, y’know, should’ve been a huge clue in hindsight, really. Anyway, for some reason, my chosen character name was always Jack. I don’t know where it came from or why, but it was just the name I always used. So by the time I was old enough to realise what that meant, it just seemed… fitting, I guess. It felt like my name.”

Alex flashes a small smile, reaching out and resting his hand on Jack’s forearm, grazing his thumb across it affectionately. “That’s actually really sweet,” he says. Jack shrugs, fiddling with a loose thread on the ankle of Alex’s pyjama trousers until it snaps off.

“Maybe we should just see what name suits her once she’s born,” Jack suggests with a small smile. “Pick one once we get a sense of her personality.”

Alex snorts softly. “Babe, how are we gonna see what her personality is like when she’s less than a day old?”

“Maybe we should just wait until she’s old enough to choose her own name,” Jack mutters, earning another laugh from Alex.

“Sounds like a solid idea.”

Chapter Text

A few weeks later, the baby’s room is essentially ready, and now it feels like they’ve done almost everything that needs doing in preparation for her arrival, which has definitely lifted something of a weight off Jack’s shoulders.

Apart from choosing a name for her, of course. But the more time passes, the more it feels like they’re probably just going to wing it once she arrives; it would certainly be on-brand for them.

Yesterday, they were putting the finishing touches on their daughter’s bedroom, really feeling like the soon-to-be parents that they are. But today it’s like they’re sixteen again as they sit in the living room playing some split-screen shooter game on Alex’s PS3

“Fuck,” Alex mutters as Jack shoots him, quickly taking cover.

Jack fakes an evil laugh. “Fuck yeah, eat shit, asshole.”

“Fuck you,” Alex responds, ducking back out of cover and attempting to retaliate. Jack, however, immediately guns him down, winning the round easily. “Fuck,” Alex cries, throwing the controller onto the sofa with force.

“Nice to see you haven’t improved since we were kids,” Jack teases with a smug expression as the screen announces his victory.

“Fuck you, I let you win,” Alex retorts, earning a snort from Jack.

“Sure. And all those times you lost when we were kids too, I presume?”

“Of course. I never wanted you to feel bad,” Alex jokes.

“Uh huh.”

“Come on, asshole, let’s play again,” Alex says, picking his controller back up and selecting ‘rematch’.

“You wanna try winning this time?” Jack teases.

“My character sucks, I’m gonna choose a new one,” Alex says.

“So was it the character’s fault that you lost or were you letting me win?” Jack queries with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes,” Alex answers.

“Which one?”

“Just… yes.”

Jack snorts softly. “You’re such a bad loser.”

“I’m an even worse winner, baby,” Alex responds with a smirk, and Jack laughs again.

“Well, if you ever win, I’d love to see it.”

“Suck my dick,” Alex retorts.

“Why don’t you eat my ass first?” Jack counters, making Alex laugh loudly.

“That can be arranged,” he mutters seductively, putting his controller aside once again and throwing one leg over Jack’s lap, straddling him.

“Careful, don’t squash the baby!” Jack exclaims, although he’s not actually concerned – Alex is barely touching her.

“She’ll be fine,” Alex murmurs, and he begins kissing Jack’s neck, sucking and nibbling at the skin. Jack releases a quiet hum of approval, holding onto Alex’s hips and shutting his eyes.

“I feel like this would be sexier if I didn’t look like a balloon,” Jack comments, tilting his head to the side to give Alex better access.

“Shh. You’re beautiful,” Alex whispers against Jack’s neck, the vibrations making his skin tingle. Alex sits upright suddenly, looking Jack in the eye. “Want me to stop?”

“No, it’s nice,” Jack starts, “it’s just… I don’t really have the energy to have sex. But I’m definitely horny now.”

“That’s okay. How about I just get you off nice and gently?” Alex suggests.

“I like the sound of that,” Jack answers, a sultry smirk crossing his face. Alex grins, kissing him softly before sliding off the sofa and onto the floor. He peels Jack’s sweatpants and underwear down and off in one (almost) fluid motion, discarding them on the floor as he gets into position between Jack’s legs.

“Ready?” Alex asks softly, looking up at Jack and caressing the inside of his thigh affectionately, unknowingly turning him to jelly.

“Fuck yeah.”

“If that was your plan to distract me from winning another round against you, it worked,” Jack comments softly, leaning against Alex’s side as he comes down from his post-orgasm high.

“It might’ve been,” Alex jokes, running his fingers through Jack’s hair. “Not my fault I’m so irresistible.”

Jack snorts quietly. “Your fucking ego.” Alex laughs, rotating his head towards Jack and kissing him sweetly. “I have an idea,” Jack adds after a pause, pulling away slightly. “How about we have another round, but I play as the worst possible character?”

Alex huffs out a surprised laugh. “Am I really that bad?”

“Dude, you didn’t win a single round. Yes, you’re that bad,” Jack answers, chuckling. “I’ll go easy on you this time, I promise.”

“Ah, it’s okay. I’m always happy for you to win, to be honest,” Alex says with a smile. “‘Cause you’re my gold medal.”

Jack physically groans. “God, that was so fucking corny,” he says, half laughing, half grimacing.

“I know,” Alex responds, a shit-eating grin on his face. “I know how much you love cheesy lines like that.”

“Please just call me a douchebag or something next time,” Jack mutters, earning another laugh from Alex.

“Okay, douchebag.”

Jack snorts softly. “Just start the round, idiot.”

“Fuck this. I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Alex mutters, after losing another two rounds to Jack. (Seriously, how is he so bad?) Jack laughs softly at Alex’s minor frustration and pauses the game, putting the controller aside.

As Alex slinks off upstairs, Jack retrieves the notebook containing the list of baby names from where it currently lives on the coffee table, deciding to take another look at the list just to see if it might strike more inspiration. He opens it up, lifting the pages by the small ribbon divider attached to the spine, however he’s taken by surprise to find that it was bookmarking an entirely different page.

It’s a simple pencil drawing of what appears to be him, sleeping on his side on this very sofa.

And it’s… really good.

Jack stares at the drawing, equal parts mesmerised by Alex’s hidden talent and flattered that Alex chose to draw him.

He takes it all in – the perspective; the gentle folds and wrinkles in the blanket that had been covering him; the perfectly-proportioned hand.

In all the years Jack has known Alex, how has it never come up before that he’s also a really talented artist?

Alex reappears a minute or so later, pulling Jack out of his thoughts.

“What are you looking at?” Alex asks, gesturing his head towards the notebook in Jack’s hands, unable to see what it is from where he’s standing.

“Why did you never tell me you can draw?” Jack asks, his tone a mixture of both awe and slight amusement.

“What?” Alex asks in confusion, and he approaches the sofa, looking at the pages open in front of Jack. “Oh. I’d forgotten about that.”

“It’s really good,” Jack says with a small smile on his face, looking up at Alex adoringly.

Alex shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s alright. It’s just something stupid I did.”

“It’s lovely,” Jack insists, looking back at the drawing and admiring it once again. “When did you do this?”

“Just the other night,” Alex answers casually, sitting down beside Jack once again. “We were watching some movie, and I guess it was kinda slow, ‘cause you fell asleep, and I started doodling. Guess that’s what came out.”

“You’re so modest,” Jack says with a soft chuckle.

“I don’t really like it, to be honest,” Alex admits, wrinkling his nose as he looks at the picture. “It doesn’t even look like you.”

“It does,” Jack argues. “It literally does. That’s why it’s so impressive. I recognised that it was me right away.”

“But I feel like I made your nose crooked,” Alex points out, running his finger along the drawing. “And the hands look off.”

“Baby, just take the fucking compliment,” Jack says with a soft snort, taking a gentle hold of Alex’s face and pulling him in for a sweet kiss.

“Fine,” Alex answers with a playful eyeroll, pecking Jack’s lips again before letting him go. “And thank you.”

“I’m just being honest,” Jack responds. “Also I find it really sweet that you chose to draw me.”

“What can I say? You’re my muse,” Alex comments with a quiet laugh. Jack chuckles as well, however Alex's words make his stomach somersault like a teenager with a crush all over again.

“Can I have this, by the way?” Jack adds, holding the page by its corner.

Alex shrugs. “Sure, I guess. What are you gonna do with it?”

“I wanna frame it,” Jack says, smiling softly.

“It doesn’t deserve a frame.”

“Shut up, yes it does,” Jack protests. “Anyway, it’s not just that it’s good – I mean, it is, but what I also love about it is that you drew it.” Alex rolls his eyes again, although he’s unable to ignore the flutter of adoration in his chest at Jack’s words.

“Okay, fine,” Alex relents, wrapping his arm around Jack and pulling him close, kissing the side of his head. “But you’re definitely biased.”

“Well, I am your biggest fan,” Jack comments. “All the fan accounts have nothing on me.”

“I bet you have a secret fan page dedicated to me, don’t you?” Alex quips.

“It’s true, and nobody even knows it’s me,” Jack jokes, huffing out a soft laugh as he leans closer to Alex. “And now I even have my own Alex Gaskarth original.”

“You should sell it – it would probably make a small profit.”

“I know you’re joking, but it probably would,” Jack points out. “Especially if you signed it.”

Alex snorts softly. “Yeah, well, I don’t really want anyone else to see it anyway.” Jack grins widely, turning his head towards Alex and kissing him sweetly.

“Good thing I don’t plan on sharing it.”

Chapter Text

“Hey, babe, I’m gonna go to the store ‘cause we’re out of a few things. Is there anything you need?” Alex asks as he walks into the bedroom where Jack is sprawled out on the bed, watching yet more TV.

He can’t deny that he’s starting to get a little bored, but since he’s about to have a baby any day now and every movement requires so much more effort than it’s worth, he figures there isn’t much else he can do other than wait. Especially since he knows that there aren’t going to be many lazy days like this once the baby’s born.

“I don’t think so,” Jack responds. “Want me to come with you?”

“No, don’t worry, babe. It’s okay. Unless you want to come, of course,” Alex says, but Jack pulls a face and shakes his head.

“No thanks,” he says. “Grocery shopping wasn’t even fun before moving around made me tired.” Alex smiles softly, and leans in to kiss Jack sweetly.

“I won’t be long,” he murmurs. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jack replies.

Since nothing is ever that easy, Alex ends up stuck in traffic on the freeway on the way back from the store. The road seems to be at a complete standstill as far as the eye can see, and he has no idea what’s happening, or how long he’s going to be stuck there.

His phone starts ringing suddenly, and when he sees that it’s Jack calling, he answers immediately.

“Hey, babe,” he says cheerily when he picks up. “I’m fucking stuck in traffic. It’s backed right up for, like, a mile. I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be here but I don’t think I’m gonna be home for a while. Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Jack replies. “Hey, listen, don’t freak out, but uh… I think I’m in labour. Like, for real this time.”

Alex feels his entire body go cold.

“You’re what?!” He exclaims, almost dropping his phone in the process. “Fuck. Are you sure? How do you know?”

“I had, like, cramps but I thought it was just gonna be another false alarm. But then I went to the bathroom, and when I sat on the toilet, my water broke,” Jack responds, and Alex can hear the fear in his voice.

“Shit, fuck, okay… listen, just hang tight, baby, okay? I’ll try to be home as soon as I can, but there’s no fucking sign of movement at all,” Alex says, raking his hand through his hair and leaning his forehead on the steering wheel.

“No rush. Labour takes, like, fucking hours, so I don’t think there’s a chance you’re gonna miss it,” Jack says, forcing a laugh, but Alex can still tell how scared he is, and it aches his heart.

It takes about another hour, but finally Alex makes it home, and he’s never burst through his front door quite so fast in his entire life.

“Jack?” He calls out as soon as he enters the house.

“Up here,” Jack responds in a small voice that Alex almost doesn’t hear. He races up the stairs and into their room, and finds Jack curled up on their bed on his side, the TV still on.

“How are you?” Alex asks, sitting down beside Jack and gently brushing his hair out of his face.

“I’m okay,” Jack responds truthfully. “The contractions are only, like, every ten or fifteen minutes, and they’re not that bad yet. It’s probably gonna be hours before we can do anything.”

“You should sit up a bit, babe,” Alex says softly, offering Jack a hand and helping him to sit upright. “I was looking up what to do in labour while I was stuck in traffic, and it says that, in the first stage, you should stay upright and try to move around a little, if you can. Can I get you anything?” Jack smiles lovingly at Alex, leaning into his side a little.

“No thanks, babe. I’m fine,” he says.

“Should we go get takeout or something?” Jack asks a couple of episodes later. Alex just looks at him like he’s spawned a second head.

“But you’re…”

“I know,” Jack says before Alex can finish. “But I can’t just sit around waiting or I’ll lose my mind. Besides, you said it’s better to move around a little in the first stage.”

“True,” Alex responds in consideration. “Where do you wanna go?”

Jack shrugs. “I don’t know. I just want something to eat.”

They end up driving to a nearby Dairy Queen where Jack orders just a milkshake, and they take it to a small spot on a ridge overlooking the town.

“You doing okay?” Alex asks softly, resting his hand on Jack’s thigh.

“Yeah,” Jack responds with a small smile. “They’re just like bad period cramps at the moment.”

“I’m really proud of you,” Alex murmurs, bringing his hand up to Jack’s hair and gently running his fingers through the strands. Jack flashes another halfhearted smile, releasing a heavy sigh.

“I’m scared,” he admits. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks softly.

“What if something goes wrong?” Jack says in a small voice. “What if something bad happens to me or the baby?”

“Why should it?” Alex asks, placing his hand on Jack’s shoulder, trying to ground him.

Jack shrugs. “Why does anything bad happen? Sometimes it just does.”

“And a lot of the time it doesn’t,” Alex responds simply, rubbing Jack’s shoulder comfortingly.

“But it could,” Jack points out.

“Well, what if it doesn’t?” Alex offers. “Sure, it’s easy to start thinking about ways everything could go wrong, but how about all the ways it could go right?” Jack sighs softly, fiddling nervously with the straw in the milkshake cup. “Look, I know from experience that you can’t just, like, turn anxiety off by saying not to worry about things, but also… thinking like this probably isn’t helping.”

“I guess,” Jack mutters.

“Why don’t we put some music on instead of sitting here in silence?” Alex suggests, turning on his car’s radio and plugging his phone into the auxiliary cord. He opens up Spotify, picking a playlist and hitting ‘shuffle’ before returning his phone to the small alcove beneath the stereo. Jack gives another small smile as the music starts playing through the car’s speakers, and he drinks the end of his milkshake before placing it in the cup holder in the centre console.

“Should we go home?” Jack suggests a few songs later.

“Yeah?” Alex asks softly, glancing over at Jack.

Jack nods. “Yeah. I’ve kind of had enough of being out now, to be honest. I just wanna go home and rest.”

“I think I’m gonna take a shower,” Jack says when they walk in the front door.

Alex raises an eyebrow, turning to Jack with a confused expression. “What happened to resting?”

Jack shrugs. “A shower’s pretty relaxing. Honestly, a hot bath would be pretty nice right now for the pain, but obviously we don’t have a tub.”

“That makes sense, I guess,” Alex answers.

“Wanna come join me?” Jack adds with an expression that’s supposed to be flirty, but Alex can see the fear underneath it right away – Jack just doesn’t want to be alone right now, and that thought makes his heart ache.

“Always,” Alex says, shooting a small smile back.

They walk up the stairs and into the bathroom in relative silence, and it’s only once they’ve stepped into the shower that either of them says anything.

“Are you doing okay?”

Jack nods, flashing a weak smile at Alex. “For now, yeah. Just trying not to think too much about it, to be honest.”

“I love you,” Alex murmurs, resting his hands lightly on the sides of Jack’s neck.

“I love you too,” Jack returns, pulling Alex in for a sweet kiss.

“I don’t wanna tell you it’s gonna be okay,” Alex starts, “‘cause obviously I don’t know what it’s like for you. But for what it’s worth, I’m gonna be by your side the whole time.”

“I know,” Jack answers with another small smile. “That does help, to be honest.” Alex returns the smile and pulls Jack into a hug, kissing the side of Jack’s neck softly as Jack buries his nose in Alex’s shoulder. They pull apart after a few moments, and Alex squeezes Jack’s hands reassuringly before letting him go.

“I’m gonna wash my hair while I’m here,” Jack says, breaking the silence. 

Alex huffs out a surprised laugh. “Seems a weird time to do it, but you do you.”

Jack shrugs. “I just feel like I’m probably not gonna shower again for another few days after this, so I might as well while I can.”

“Fair enough, I guess,” Alex answers.

“Man, I really need to bleach my hair again,” Jack comments with a frown as he looks in the bedroom mirror once he’s finished drying his hair, running a hand through the patch of blonde in his otherwise-dark hair and examining the root regrowth.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna do that now as well,” Alex answers with an amused huff.

Jack chuckles softly. “No, I’m not gonna bleach my hair now,” he says. “But I am gonna straighten it,” he adds, plugging in the hair straightener and placing it on its heatproof mat on his bedside table before sitting down on the bed, waiting for it to heat up.

Alex snorts. “Of course. Only you would straighten your hair while actually in labour.”

“Well, look at it,” Jack answers, running a hand through his hair again and causing it to stick up wildly.

“It’s fine,” Alex insists. “You’re gonna be in a hospital for, like, the next day or two anyway, so what does it matter?”

“You’re telling me that if you were in my shoes, you wouldn’t also be straightening your hair right now?” Jack queries with a raised eyebrow. Alex is about to respond, until he realises that Jack is probably right.

“Okay, fine,” he mutters, relenting. Jack chuckles softly in response.

“Exactly,” Jack answers. But before he can continue, suddenly his face is scrunching up as he feels a sharp pain, and he folds forwards slightly to try to alleviate it.

“You okay?” Alex asks gently, rotating himself to face Jack and rubbing his lower back in an attempt to soothe the pain.

“Yeah, it’s just- fuck-” Jack hisses, exhaling sharply. “That one was a bit worse,” he says after a moment, once the pain eases up a little.

“Want me to straighten your hair for you?” Alex offers. “Y’know, just so you don’t have to stand up in front of the mirror for, like, half an hour.”

Jack gives a small smile. “Would you mind?” He asks in a small voice.

“Of course not,” Alex answers. “C’mon – pass me the straightener.” Jack does as instructed with a grateful smile, and Alex begins running the straightener through Jack’s hair, and somehow there’s so much care and love in the way he does it that Jack could almost cry.

“Thank you,” Jack murmurs after a few minutes.

“It’s no big deal at all,” Alex responds from where he’s sitting behind Jack, carefully straightening the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Not just for this,” Jack clarifies, “just… thank you for looking after me. For being there for me. Everything you’ve done has made this whole thing so much easier, and I don’t think I could’ve done this without your support, so thank you.” Alex says nothing, simply pulling Jack into an awkward one-armed hug from behind, being careful to hold the hair straightener away from them with his other hand.

Several hours later, the contractions are starting to get noticeably worse.

They’re sitting in the living room now, continuing to watch endless TV mostly just to kill time, and the pain has started to shift from uncomfortable to borderline unbearable.

“Fuck,” Jack groans, doubling over and taking a deep breath. Alex furrows his eyebrows, hating to see Jack in so much pain.

“Here, squeeze my hand,” he murmurs, rubbing Jack’s back gently with his other hand. Jack immediately obliges, grabbing a hold of Alex’s hand with an iron grip that makes his knuckles turn white. Jack lets out a stifled groan, the pain not letting up at all, and Alex continues rubbing his back, whispering comforting words to him. Eventually, the cramp begins to ease up a little, and Jack is finally able to sit upright again, releasing Alex’s hand from his super-strength grip.

“I hate everything,” Jack mutters, dropping his head back against the back of the sofa. “I just want this to be over already. Why does it have to take so fucking long?”

“Should we think about going to the hospital yet?” Alex murmurs, rubbing Jack’s forearm comfortingly. “They’ve been about every five minutes for a while now.”

Jack shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“C’mon, I’ll go get your hospital bag and then we can go, okay?” Alex squeezes Jack’s arm affectionately before heading off upstairs, and Jack staggers up from the sofa, beginning to pace around the room nervously. “Ready to go?” Alex asks once he returns, barely a minute later.

“Have we got everything?” Jack asks anxiously.

“Yeah, this is everything you’re gonna need, baby,” Alex answers gently, gesturing to the bag in his hand.

“I don’t think I’m ready,” Jack says, voice wobbling slightly. Alex frowns, putting the bag on the floor and crossing over to Jack, taking a hold of Jack’s hands in his. Jack grips onto them tightly, and he suddenly looks so scared that it makes Alex’s heart break.

“Baby, I know it’s scary, but you are ready, okay?” Alex says, releasing Jack’s hands and wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. “You’ve been preparing for this for months. I know you’re ready. And I’m gonna be by your side the whole time.” Jack hugs Alex back tightly, gripping onto his t-shirt and burying his nose in Alex’s shoulder. They pull away a moment later, and Alex looks Jack in the eyes once more. “Should we get going, then?” He asks. Jack bites his lip but nods, and Alex kisses his forehead softly. “Let me go get my car keys,” he adds.

Jack takes a deep breath as Alex disappears in search of his keys, but moments later he feels another contraction coming on, so strong that he almost struggles to hold back tears from the pain. Suddenly he feels as though all the air has been knocked out of him, and he slumps against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut and releasing a choked noise of pain.

Moments, he feels Alex’s arms around him once again, rubbing comfortingly as he struggles through the pain.

“Shh, you’re okay, I’ve got you,” Alex whispers to him, and he sinks into Alex’s embrace, taking comfort in the gesture.

The pain lets up slightly after about a minute, and he straightens up, taking a deep breath.

“Okay?” Alex asks gently, resting a hand on Jack’s face.

Jack nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Chapter Text

When they arrive at the hospital, part of Jack almost wishes that he’d waited it out a little longer at home, because they were sent straight to a room and told to wait, so Jack is in about as much pain as before, except now he’s in an uncomfortable hospital room.

“Fuck,” Jack mutters, leaning back against the hospital bed as he attempts to change into the gown they provided for him.

“Want me to help you?” Alex asks, tugging on the sleeve of Jack’s hoodie gently.

“Fuck- yes please,” Jack grits out, and he straightens up again when he’s able to. Carefully, Alex helps Jack change out of his clothes, however Jack’s suddenly hit with another strong wave of pain, doubling over and resting his head on his forearms on the hospital bed, letting out a pained cry. Wordlessly, Alex begins to massage Jack’s lower back with his fingers until it passes. Once it has passed, Jack manages to stand upright once again, and he pulls the hospital gown over his head, tying it up behind his neck before gently sitting down on the edge of the bed. Alex takes a seat next to him and wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him close.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Alex asks softly. Jack just shakes his head, looking down at his hands nervously.

“I’m scared, Alex,” he says instead, eyes welling up. Alex furrows his eyebrows, pulling Jack closer to him. “What if I’m a terrible dad?” Alex’s heart breaks.

“Hey, you’re gonna be an amazing dad, okay?” Alex says, resting his hand on Jack’s cheek and caressing it softly. “You’re so kind and supportive and funny and just… the best person I know. You’ve got nothing to worry about, I promise.”

“I don’t know,” Jack responds, and a few stray tears spill out of his eyes and run down his face. “What if I fuck it up? I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m in over my fucking head.”

“Listen to me,” Alex says softly, turning Jack’s head gently and looking him in the eyes. “You won’t fuck this up. For one thing, I’ll be right by your side the whole time, so it’s not like you’ll have to handle this on your own, and for another, I know you well enough to know that you’re gonna do such a good job. You have everything it takes to be a kickass parent, I promise.” He presses a soft kiss onto Jack’s forehead, lingering for a moment. “And besides,” he continues, “I guarantee you that all new parents feel like this at least once.” Jack seems to consider this, nodding slightly.

“I love you so much, Alex,” he whispers, wiping his eyes with his fingers. “I don’t know how I could ever have gotten through this without you.”

“I love you too,” Alex murmurs, but before he can say anything else, Jack’s body is tensing up again, and he leans his head down on Alex’s shoulder, gripping tightly onto Alex’s free hand and hissing in pain. Alex just squeezes Jack’s side comfortingly, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head.

“Fuck,” Jack mutters once it’s passed off a little. “And this isn’t even the worst fucking part yet.” He sits up again and Alex caresses the back of Jack’s hand with his thumb.

“Why don’t you lie down for a bit?” Alex suggests, and with the almost-constant pain and exhaustion that’s already hitting him, the idea of lying down seems very tempting right now. Jack nods solemnly, and Alex stands up to give him space to lie down.

Jack lies down on his side, bringing his knees up to his chest, and he just looks so… small. Not for the first time, Alex wishes he could trade places with Jack right now if it meant taking Jack’s pain away.

Jack reaches around blindly for Alex’s hand as Alex takes a seat in the chair beside the bed, and he strokes Jack’s hair gently with his free hand.

“It hurts so much,” Jack whimpers.

“I know, baby,” Alex says, his heart aching. “I’m so sorry there’s nothing I can do to help.”

The first hour and a half seems to speed by, despite Jack being in intense pain for the majority of it, and eventually it’s time for him to receive the epidural.

It goes relatively smoothly, although Jack is less than thrilled at the prospect of having a needle in his spine, especially since it means that his back is now hurting, along with a lot of the rest of him.

“How are you feeling?” Alex asks softly, running a hand through Jack’s hair.

Jack pulls a face. “The same, kinda.”

Alex frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think it’s working,” Jack answers.

“What do you mean?” Alex repeats.

“I mean I don’t think the IV in my spine is doing shit to stop the pain,” Jack responds bluntly, a grimace on his face. “The contractions are still as bad as they were before.”

“Fuck,” Alex says, furrowing his eyebrows. “That can’t be right.”

“Yeah, no fucking shit,” Jack mutters, before his face scrunches up in pain once again. Alex continues running his fingers through Jack’s hair, his other encompassed in Jack’s tight grip once again. “Fuck,” he groans as the searing pain returns, squeezing his insides.

“Do you think I should go get a nurse or something?” Alex asks gently, rubbing Jack’s shoulder.

“Maybe,” Jack grits out after a moment, once the pain has eased up a little. Alex squeezes his hand reassuringly, kissing the top of his head before heading out of the room.

Jack lies there, lost in thought; the epidural was supposed to take the pain away, but so far it’s not even come close. If anything, the pain almost feels as though it’s got worse. It certainly doesn’t help that his back is now hurting from where there’s a needle in his spine.

Alex returns a few minutes later, still on his own.

“They’re gonna send the anaesthesiologist back in a couple minutes,” Alex explains, returning to Jack’s bedside and dropping down into the chair once again. “Still feeling the same?”

“Yeah,” Jack grumbles. “It’s so weird, it’s like it’s not working.” Alex sighs softly in response, rubbing Jack’s forearm affectionately.

The anaesthesiologist enters the room a few minutes later, and Alex has to hand it to her that she was certainly prompt.

“How are we doing?” The anaesthesiologist asks with a cheeriness that neither Jack nor Alex can match.

“Great,” Jack mutters sarcastically. “It’s not working. Like, at all.”

“Well, I can’t give you any more,” she says, fiddling around with the pump supplying the drug. “You’re already on the maximum dose.”

“Then why isn’t it working?” Alex asks with a frown, glancing down at Jack, whose face is once again contorted in pain, and stroking his arm comfortingly.

“It should begin to take effect soon,” the anaesthesiologist responds dismissively, and Alex huffs softly.

“But that’s what you said before,” he points out. “And that was, like, twenty minutes ago.”

“It just needs more time,” she answers evasively.

“How long is it supposed to take?” Jack grits out.

“It’s hard to say,” she says. “It varies a lot from one person to another. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be working. Give it a little more time. I’d say at least half an hour.”

“So, is that it?” Alex asks, wrinkling his nose in irritation.

“There’s not much else I can do. Just wait it out, it’ll take effect eventually.” Before Jack or Alex can say anything else, she promptly turns on her heel and exits the room almost as swiftly as she entered.

Neither Jack nor Alex know how long ‘eventually’ is, but they’re pretty sure that it wasn’t supposed to be over an hour.

Jack lets out a cry of pain, sitting cross-legged on the bed and slouching forwards, doing anything to try to alleviate the pain.

“Okay, just breathe,” Alex murmurs, perching beside Jack on the edge of the bed and rubbing his lower back.

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing?” Jack snaps, his face flushed and sweating from the pain.

“Deep breaths,” Alex clarifies, not even blinking at Jack’s curt response. “Like this,” he instructs, taking an exaggeratedly deep inhale before exhaling again. Jack tries to copy, but immediately the pain intensifies again, and suddenly the air is practically knocked out of him.

“Fuck, I hate this,” Jack grits out. “Why didn’t we just use a fucking condom?”

“I’m gonna go find a doctor or something again,” Alex murmurs, squeezing Jack’s shoulder comfortingly. “You okay for me to leave you on your own for a couple minutes?” Jack nods, currently unable to form words on account of the pain.

“Y-yeah,” he mumbles after a minute or two, the pain lessening slightly once again. Alex kisses the top of his head, getting to his feet and heading out of the room once again.

By the fourth hour, things have started to calm down a little, with the epidural finally working.

“You doing okay now?” Alex murmurs, running his fingers through Jack’s hair as he lies on his side on the bed.

“Fuck, yeah, so much better,” Jack answers. “I still can’t believe they just put the needle in the wrong fucking place.”

“Tell me about it,” Alex responds with a disbelieving snort. “Imagine if it had been too late for you to have it by the time they figured it out.”

“God, that would’ve sucked,” Jack says, grimacing at the thought.

“What does it feel like, anyway?”

Jack shrugs. “It’s… really weird. I can’t feel the lower half of my body, but I can still feel the contractions, kinda. Like, the pressure.”

“But it doesn’t hurt anymore?” Alex asks, stroking Jack’s face lightly.

“No, which is great,” Jack answers. “But not being able to feel my legs is so strange.”

“I bet,” Alex says with a small smile.

“I’m kinda bored now, though, I gotta be honest,” Jack adds, startling a quiet laugh out of Alex. “Although it beats being in pain.”

“How’s your back?” Alex asks.

“It’s okay. Kinda hurts a little, but not too bad. I can’t feel a lot of it either anyway.”

The rest seems to speed by in a blur, and by hour ten, suddenly the end seems to finally be in sight.

“You’re nearly there, baby, you’re doing so well,” Alex murmurs, kissing Jack’s head softly.

“Your support has made all the difference, y’know,” Jack answers, looking up at Alex. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex whispers, kissing Jack’s head once again and squeezing his hand.

The midwife coaches Jack the rest of the way through, and suddenly, before either of them expects it, they hear a cry rip through the air.

“Oh my God,” Alex says in awe as his eyes land on their baby for the first time.

“Oh my God,” Jack echoes, and seconds later, the midwife is handing him the baby, placing her gently on his chest and covering her with a blanket. “Oh my fucking God,” he says, his eyes welling up.

Suddenly, every unpleasant thing he’s gone through these last nine months is completely justified, and he’d do it a hundred times over for her.

“Look at her, holy shit! She’s perfect,” Alex murmurs, wrapping his arm around Jack’s shoulders and pulling him and the baby closer, gently stroking her tiny little arm with his free hand. “You did it, baby,” he adds, leaning his head against Jack’s before turning his head to press a kiss to his temple.

Chapter Text

“I’m so glad we didn’t use a condom,” Jack comments softly, holding their baby as she lies on his chest wrapped up in a blanket. Alex lets out a surprised laugh.

“So am I,” he says. “I mean, I know it doesn’t quite hold the same weight when I say it ‘cause I’m not the one who just spent hours in horrible pain, but she’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.” Jack grins widely, gazing down at their daughter adoringly, and Alex carefully perches on the hospital bed beside Jack, putting an arm around him. Jack instantly leans into Alex’s side, and Alex doesn’t think anything could ever ruin this moment. 

Until his stomach rumbles loudly, however, making Jack release a surprised laugh.

“You hungry?” Jack teases, lifting his head from Alex’s shoulder and looking up at him.

“Just a bit,” Alex responds. “I haven’t eaten anything since, like, breakfast yesterday.”

“Oh, you poor thing. Did me squeezing our baby out of my vagina get in the way of you getting food?” Jack asks sarcastically, grinning in amusement.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, you asshole,” Alex responds, rolling his eyes, although a smile makes its way across his face.

“I know, babe. I was just teasing,” Jack says softly, looking up at Alex lovingly. “You’ve been so good to me throughout all of this.” Alex smiles warmly, and kisses Jack sweetly.

“I might go see if I can find something to eat. You want anything?” He asks, stroking the baby’s soft hair gently as she drifts off to sleep in Jack’s arms.

“Surprisingly, yeah,” Jack responds, the mention of food suddenly making him painfully aware of how hungry he is.

“Why is that surprising?” Alex asks.

Jack shrugs. “I don’t know. Just kind of surprised I feel up to eating, ‘cause I’m so fucking tired, and I’m still in pain.” Alex flashes Jack a sympathetic smile, caressing Jack’s cheek affectionately with his knuckle.

“What do you want to eat?” Alex asks.

“Isn’t there a fried chicken place nearby?”

“There is, but it’s, like, a block or two away,” Alex responds. “You gonna be okay on your own for that long?”

“I’ll be fine, babe,” Jack says. “We’re in a hospital – if anything happens, there are literally doctors and nurses everywhere.”

“That is true,” Alex says with a soft laugh. “What shall I bring you?”

Jack shrugs. “I don’t know – I’ve never been to that one before. Just see what they have and get anything. You know what I like.”

“Okay. I’ll try not to be long,” Alex responds, leaning in and pecking Jack’s lips softly. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jack says with a smile, and Alex heads out of the room, leaving Jack alone with the baby. He gazes down at her adoringly, just watching her as she sleeps and caressing her tiny, soft features with his free hand. “Hey, baby girl,” he murmurs as her little eyes flutter open. He kisses the top of her head gently before resting his forehead against hers. One of her little hands finds Jack’s index finger and grasps onto it, gripping it tightly in her tiny fist, and Jack’s heart soars. A wide smile of pure adoration makes its way across his face, and he nuzzles his nose against hers gently.

Despite the pain and exhaustion that continues to persist, Jack doesn’t think he’s ever felt so happy and content. He just wishes he’d known when he found out that he was pregnant all those months ago that this is how he’d feel when the baby was finally born; at least that way he might not have spent so long being so anxious and scared.

Time seems to pass remarkably quickly, because before he knows it, the door to his hospital room is opening and Alex is walking back in, a fast food bag in his hands. Jack’s about to comment on how quick he was when he looks at his phone and realises that Alex was over half an hour.

“Hey, babe,” Jack greets as Alex walks in, a wide smile on his face.

“Hey,” Alex responds, his own smile practically matching Jack’s. “I got us a sharing bucket of chicken. And also a large fries.” He wheels the small hospital table across the bed, and Jack adjusts himself carefully, sitting up a little, although the movement makes him wince slightly in pain. Alex places the bag on the table and takes the food out, and Jack feels his stomach rumble as he sees it.

“That smells so fucking good,” Jack comments, making Alex chuckle softly as he resumes his position in the chair beside the bed.

“Need me to take the baby or anything?” Alex asks as he sees Jack pick up a particularly large wing from the bucket.

“Nah, I’m okay, thanks,” Jack responds. “Unless you wanna hold her,” he adds, realising Alex hasn’t really had much time holding their baby yet.

“My hands feel kind of dirty – I wanna wash them before I hold her,” Alex responds, and Jack smiles softly.

They finish the food in relative silence, both of them realising quite how much they needed it, and once they’re done, Alex disposes of the empty packaging and washes his hands.

“I should probably update my parents, shouldn’t I?” Jack comments rhetorically as he hands the baby to Alex so he can hold her for a while.

“Do they know you’ve had the baby?” Alex asks, looking up briefly at Jack, who’s rolled onto his side to try to alleviate some of the pain on his stitches.

“Yeah. I mean, they know I was in labour. I called my mom right after I called you when I first went into labour. She actually offered to come be with me, and I felt kinda bad saying no, but I only really wanted you here,” Jack says, and Alex smiles down at him fondly, reaching out and brushing his hair with his fingertips.

“Why don’t you text them now?” Alex suggests.

“I probably should,” Jack responds.

Jack’s parents arrive just over half an hour after he informs them that he’s had the baby.

The door to the hospital room creaks open slowly, revealing Jack’s parents on the other side.

“Can we come in?” Jack’s mom asks quietly.

“Yeah, come in – the baby’s awake,” Jack responds, and his parents enter the rest of the way.

“How are you doing?” Jack’s mom asks, both her and Jack’s dad hugging him in turn.

“Very sore,” Jack responds with a chuckle. “But I couldn’t be happier – she’s just perfect. Alex is just changing her right now.” He gestures over to the other side of the room where Alex is buttoning the baby’s pyjamas back up, and Jack’s heart swells as he hears Alex talking to her softly.

“Hey, guys,” Alex says brightly, picking the baby up gently and heading back over to Jack’s bedside. “Here she is. Wanna hold her?” He asks, passing her carefully over to Jack’s mom before perching on the edge of the bed beside Jack.

“Oh, she’s beautiful,” Jack’s mom says, looking down at her granddaughter in awe.

“She looks just like you did when you were a baby, Jack,” his dad comments, making Jack smile.

“Doesn’t she?” His mom agrees, stroking the baby’s cheek gently.

“She’s definitely got Alex’s eyes though,” Jack says, chuckling softly. “And nose.” Alex smiles warmly, wrapping his arm around Jack’s waist and leaning his head against Jack’s.

“Gosh – it doesn’t seem a minute since you were this size, Jack,” his mother comments nostalgically, looking down at the baby. “Before you know it, it’ll be you two sitting here with your grandchild.”

“Mom, she’s barely two hours old,” Jack says with a soft huff. “At least wait until she’s out of the hospital before you start trying to hit us with the existential dread.”

His mom laughs quietly. “Sorry.”

There’s a lull in the conversation right then, and suddenly Alex senses that Jack and his parents might want a moment alone together.

“Not to change the subject, but I might go get some water. Anyone else want anything?” He says as an excuse.

“Oh, maybe make that two waters please, babe,” Jack responds, and Alex nods gently.

“How about you guys?” Alex adds, glancing up at Jack’s parents.

“No thanks, sweetie,” Jack’s mom says.

“Me neither, thank you,” Jack’s dad adds, and Alex nods again.

“Okay, I think there’s a vending machine nearby, so I won’t be long,” he responds, kissing the top of Jack’s head affectionately before getting up and heading out of the room.

“That boy loves you to bits,” Jack’s mom comments fondly once Alex is out of earshot.

“What makes you say that?” Jack asks softly, although he can’t help the lovesick smile that makes its way onto his face.

“Just the way he is with you,” his mom responds. “It’s obvious he adores you.” Jack feels his heart flutter.

“He’s been so good to me,” he says with a small smile. “Today and yesterday, obviously – he barely left my side at all the entire time – but also throughout my whole pregnancy. Even before we actually started dating. I love him so much.”

“Oh, honey, that much has been obvious for years,” Jack’s mom responds with a grin.

Alex returns a few minutes later, a bottle of water in each hand, and he passes one to Jack.

“Thanks, babe,” Jack says with a smile, opening the bottle and taking a long drink.

“Have you told your mom yet, Alex?” Jack’s mom asks as he takes a seat in the chair beside Jack’s bed once again.

“Actually, I haven’t,” Alex answers with a sheepish laugh.

“You haven’t told your mom?” Jack asks, turning to look at Alex and raising his eyebrows in surprise.

Alex shrugs. “Since you went into labour, I kinda had other things on my mind, I guess,” Alex says. Jack huffs softly, taking the baby back from his mom.

“She’s gonna be real mad you haven’t told her,” Jack jokes, and Alex laughs quietly.

“She’ll get over it.”

Jack finally allows himself to sleep about five hours later.

Well, it’s less that he allows himself to sleep and more that he physically can’t keep his eyes open any longer.

Alex sits beside him in the plastic hospital chair holding their daughter, and words can’t describe how happy he feels right now.

“You’re just perfect, aren’t you?” He murmurs, kissing her little forehead softly. She looks up at him with big, round eyes, blinking in the low light.

Eventually, she falls asleep in Alex’s arms, resting her head against Alex’s chest. Alex never wants to put her down, but he starts feeling his own eyes growing heavy, so carefully he carries her over to the hospital crib beside the bed, placing her in it gently and pressing another kiss onto her head.

He sits back down in the uncomfortable plastic chair and rests his head on his arms on the edge of the hospital bed, and he shuts his eyes. He’s just drifting off to sleep when he feels Jack gently shaking his shoulder.

“What are you doing down there?” He asks softly. “Get up here. There’s room.” Alex frowns.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” he says.

“You won’t hurt me,” Jack responds. “We managed to fit into my bunk together when I was, like, six months pregnant.” Alex rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have fresh stitches then,” he says. Jack huffs out a soft laugh.

“Baby, I promise it’ll be okay. Come on, just get into bed with me,” he responds. Alex relents, carefully climbing onto the bed and slotting himself in behind Jack, as close to the edge of the bed as he can. “Alex, come closer. I still have loads of space,” Jack adds. Alex shifts slightly closer and wraps his arm around Jack’s middle, and Jack instinctively shuffles back into his embrace. “That’s better.”

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” Alex murmurs. Jack shrugs.

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you,” he responds quietly. “Really, you’ve been amazing the whole way through. I’m so lucky to have you.” Alex smiles softly, nuzzling his nose into Jack’s hair

“I love you so much, Jack,” he whispers, kissing the back of Jack’s neck.

“I love you too,” Jack whispers back, placing his hand over Alex’s. “Sorry for almost breaking your hand a few times back there.” Alex lets out a soft laugh.

“You were squeezing a human out of your body, Jack. I’m not gonna hold it against you,” he responds, smiling and pressing another kiss behind Jack’s ear. “How’s your… well, everything?”

“Hurts,” Jack says. “Pretty sure my back is gonna bruise from where it got assaulted with the epidural needle.”

“How about your… y’know?” Alex adds, and Jack snorts softly.

“Alex, you just watched me give birth to our daughter. I think you can say the word ‘vagina’.” Alex rolls his eyes gently, smiling.

“Fine. How’s your vagina?”

“Sore. Especially from the stitching. Going to the bathroom is gonna fucking suck,” Jack replies. “But it’s so worth it. Look at her.” He looks over at their daughter, sleeping soundly in the crib right next to the bed. “She’s perfect.” Alex beams widely as he looks at her, his heart swelling with adoration.

“She is,” he agrees. “I can’t believe we made her.” Jack lets out a soft laugh.

“I can’t believe we haven’t named her yet,” he says.

“I think we should go with Iris,” Alex suggests after a pause.

“Iris? That’s been on the list for a while, hasn’t it?” Jack says. “I thought you weren’t that much of a fan. What made you warm up to it?”

“It sounds stupid, but… that song, Iris, came on the radio right as you called and told me you’d gone into labour. I don’t believe in signs, but if I did then I’d think that that was a sign,” Alex murmurs. Jack smiles warmly, burying his face into the pillow as he strokes Alex’s hand with his thumb.

“I love that,” Jack murmurs, reaching his other hand out and gently placing it on her chest. “Iris.”