Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first thing Atsumu saw when he opened his eyes was the blinding lights that were only ever in a gymnasium.

It wasn’t a sight he wasn’t used to, and he couldn’t count how many times he had taken a nap on gym floors throughout the years. Though this time something was clearly off, as he lifted his head up a little he was bombarded with a person’s high-pitched squeal.

“Oh my god, I’m SO SORRY Tsumu! I wasn’t trying to hit you, I just went beast mode on that ball. I wasn’t trying to take out anger about you taking the last onigiri earlier, which by the way was mine! But that’s besides the-”

Atsumu lifted his upper body to see who was yapping on and on, and was met with Hinata Shoyo, who he had played against since his high school days. The catch was that Hinata didn’t look like the scrawny little kid he used to be, but rather a little taller with noticeable muscle. The weirdest thing though, was that Hinata wasn’t on this team, so why was he here?

“Woah woah Shoyo, what are ya doin’ here?”

Suddenly, the room went still, and as Atsumu looked around, he noticed that all his teammates were the same, but they all looked at him with concern, and the only new difference was Hinata being here. Also, where was Sakusa?

“Guys, what’s up? I’m confused. What's wrong with all of ya? Also where is Omi he should be here in my time of need fucking scrub” Atsumu whined standing up.

As he stumbled up, he noticed Meian come closer as if to make sure he didn’t fall over, which was strange. Noticing a stabbing pain, Atsumu reached up and touched his forehead to be met with blood.

“Atsumu, be careful please, you got hit hard,” Meian said to him, grabbing his arm softly, leading him to the nearby bench. The rest of his teammates stayed where they were and lightly mumbled to each other, and Atsumu decided something truly was up.
“Answer me, what is goin’ on? None of this is a normal Meian, explain?” Atsumu was starting to get agitated. Meian looked oddly serious for him to be just taking a nap on the court floor, and again ignored his questions.

“Hinata, call Osamu to tell him what’s going on and to get here stat,” Meian yelled over to Hinata, who nodded vigorously and reached for his phone. At the mention of his brother, Atsumu lost it. Not only was he confused about many things, he was also getting no answers whatsoever. Why was Hinata here? Why was everyone so worried? Where the fuck was Omi?

“Shoyo put the phone down! No one is callin my damn brother there is no fuckin need. I was taking a nap. This isn’t strange, so someone fess up?” Atsumu rose from the bench and started stomping over to his teammates, Meian actively running after him.

“Miya! Calm down, we don't know ok! You need to sit down so we can figure out what's wrong, ok? Sit down,” Meian yelled. Atsumu wasn’t satisfied with that answer. As he was about to rip Meian a new one, he heard a phone ringing; looking over, Hinata had a phone up to his ear. He was calling Osamu. Atsumu quickly reached over and yanked the phone from Hinata, and got really dizzy with all the sudden movement and his head started to pound. Looking around, everything got slushy.

“Oh fuck! Someone grab him before he falls!” someone yelled.

Atsumu noticed that he was leaning into someone now and looked up to see it was Bokuto.

“Bud, calm down,” Bokuto said, and then the world went black for Atsumu.

Atsumu decided that waking up confused for a second time was pissing him the moment he regained consciousness. All of this was too much for him, and it was getting out of hand.

“Hey Tsumu, I’m right here ya scrub,” Atsumu looked over at the voice and was met with his brother. Now that he was fully awake and looked at his surroundings.
He was at a hospital, and not only that, but the one in the hospital bed.

“Osamu, what’s goin on? Everyone was acting so weird earlier, and I got worked up, and then I blacked out-”

“You have amnesia, they think. Now that you’re awake, a neurologist or psychiatrist or sum like that is gonna meet with you to make a final verdict.” Osamu said calmly.

Amnesia? Atsumu thought, no, I can remember yesterday so clearly.

“What? Osamu, I don’t have amnesia; I remember yesterday. We had our fundraiser for cancer patients, and like Omi made a kid cry by accident, and I accidentally fell on the balloons and popped like all of them,”

Osamu stared at him in a way that Atsumu didn’t understand. Osamu was concerned for him, like actually concerned, and it scared Atsumu.

“Tsumu, that was a year ago.”

Just like that, his whole world shattered. A year ago?

Chapter Text

Atsumu was having what you call a difficult time adjusting to this new information. When the doctors came in and started asking him questions, it would either end with him crying, or getting angry and demanding that his questions be answered instead.

Osamu was rather relieved when they finally gave the go-ahead to release his brother, so this vicious cycle would end.

“Is he good to play still, or is he to be cleared at a more distant time?” Osamu asked while Atsumu was packing a few feet away, mumbling aggressively to himself.

“He is cleared for now, but the moment that he takes a hard hit or anything of the sort, he is to stop and be evaluated immediately and then ultimately needs to be cleared to play further,” the doctor stated. Atsumu turned from packing to glare at him intensely.

“Also, I want to make sure people are checking up on him constantly, not leaving him alone for days on end,” the doctor added lastly. Osamu nodded understandingly, and just like that, they were all cleared.

As the twins arrived at Atsumu’s apartment, he was appalled to see that there were no signs of his boyfriend. Everything was singular; the place-setting at the table, the slippers at the door, and the toothbrush in the bathroom all stood alone.

Something in Atsumu’s mind must remember something he couldn’t because he felt a pang of sadness thinking of the singularity of stuff inside his apartment, which at the moment truly represented how he felt at the moment.

Looking around, the only thing he could think of was to insult the color theme in his apartment.

“What happened here, Samu? Omi and I spruced up this place, but now it's ugly. Also, where is that guy? I miss him, and he must be worryin’ himself to death. I’m surprised he didn’t try to call you earlier, seeing that I didn’t have my phone to call him back on.”

Osamu gave him a long, solemn look and then sighed, setting his brother’s bag down and sitting on the couch.

“Atsumu, we need to talk. Come sit,”

Atsumu, confused yet again, sat nonetheless. His brother never got this serious; something must've been majorly wrong. He was preparing himself for the worst because that’s what everything seemed to be lately.

Osamu took a deep breath before he started talking; he seemed nervous.

“Tsumu things are different now, and I want to tell you before you go out by yourself tomorrow and find out the hard way, ok?”

Oh, so here was the part where Atsumu, after an exhausting 2 days, had to sit down and listen to everything he knew to be wrong and old information. His brain felt like mush, and he knew his brother meant well, but Atsumu felt his patience turn like a rubber band being snapped over and over again, becoming thinner and weaker.

“So firstly-”

Before Osamu could continue, Atsumu interrupted.

“Thank you for everythin’, truly Samu, but I’m tired and this has been all so much at once. I don't think I can handle hearing how everythin’ is different now. We can have this talk after practice tomorrow, but not right now, mmk?”

“No, Atsumu, this is important, and if you don’t know it tomorrow, you’re gonna get hurt really bad. So please listen-”

“My mind legit feels like it’s gonna explode! I am NOT gonna sit here right now and act like it’s not. All I’ve been doin’ is crying and yellin’, and I’m so tired, Osamu, please. Tomorrow.” Atsumu said, exasperated, tears filling his eyes. He couldn’t take another heartbreak from something changing in his life right now.

Slowly, Osamu stared at him and nodded grimly before standing up and giving his brother a tight hug.

“Please reach out if you need me tomorrow, as soon as you need me, please. It’s gonna be a lot. And you’re already dumb as rocks so you're even stupider a year ago,” Atsumu smacked away his brother and whined.

“Hey! That’s enough, go home, ya loser,” Atsumu grunted, giving Osamu a hard pat on the shoulder before shoving him out the door.
Atsumu stood alone in his apartment, which was lonelier than he’d felt in a long time, and he didn’t know why.

The next day, when Atsumu woke up, he felt normal. He had thoughts in his head doing circles around him, and a jittery feeling in his bones. Yesterday was weird to be so calm and stable, but Atsumu guessed it was with everything that had happened, it made his mind focus on other problems at hand. When Atsumu was younger, he was what you would call a problem child. He was always restless and impulsive to the point that he would be sobbing, not understanding why he did something with a thought in his head. Compared to Osamu, who was a well-behaved child; he was too much and it scared many. After a while, his parents had had enough and, after they went to the doctors, found out he had a severe case of adhd, and Atsumu was prescribed meds to help control it. After a week of them feeling numb, he never went back on them and would rather feel out of control than lifeless.

As an adult, he had a bit more control over himself, but many were aware of his mental health, also so there wasn’t much confusion when he acted out strangely.

Though still the calmness and quietness in his mind yesterday stood as a tall memory in his head, and strangely enough, Atsumu wanted it back. Atsumu usually craved messy, intrusive, loud thoughts, but maybe he didn't in a year, maybe more changed than he thought.

Getting ready, he found that everything was in the same place as it had been a year ago, but Sakusa’s items were gone. Atsumu didn’t think much of it seeing that Sakusa had his own place as well, and maybe they stayed at his more often rather than Atsumu’s anymore.

Without thinking too deeply into it, he grabbed his training bag by the front door and headed to practice.

“Hey, Atsumu! Do you feel better? I’m so so sorry,” Hinata exclaimed the moment he entered the door to the gym. Atsumu chuckled and waved him off.

“Yer all good Shoyo, though for future reference please don’t be so damn aggressive for a head shot. Against me, that is. Anyone else is fair game, hehe.”

They had a good laugh for a second, and then Atsumu turned to the left of him, and was greeted by his coach, Foster.

“Miya, how are you feeling? Update me on what the doctor said?”

“Well, uh, I have amnesia and don’t remember anything from a year ago.. But I’m cleared to play for now! As long as I don’t get hit hard in the head again or hit my head while fallin, I’m good!” Atsumu flashed him a big smile to reassure, even when he wanted to do anything else but that.

Foster immediately sighed with a bit of relief, but still had a worrying look in his eye.

“If you could send me your paperwork from your doctor’s visit, I would appreciate it immediately, just to make sure there aren't any restrictions or things you left out. But I won’t be stopping you till further notice, so get going and stretch.”

Foster patted his back and pushed Atsumu towards his stretching teammates.

Sitting down, stretching, Bokuto found it upon himself to give Atsumu every update from a year ago that had happened that he deemed important to tell. Some were questionable, like how Meian didn’t like pumpkin muffins, but mostly it was a nice refresher for Atsumu.

The door opened, and as the blond looked over, he was met with Sakusa. No Omi.

Before anyone else noticed Sakusa’s arrival, Atsumu jumped up and started sprinting towards him.

“Omi! Oh my goodness, where have you been ya scrub! Yer boyfriend is all hurt and brain scrambled, and you go mia.” Atsumu jokingly punched his arm as he rapidly chatted at Sakusa. Sakusa stood with a deep glare on his face and looked pretty offended for some reason.

Atsumu, being who he is, decided to tease him further, maybe Omi just woke up on the wrong side of the bed!

“You need to take that ugly look off yer face, Omi, or Meian is gonna have it out for you. And I’m not settin’ to someone with a stick up their ass-” Atsumu all of a sudden was thrown on the ground with a punch that left a crunch as it had hit his face.

Holding his cheek, he had finally realized that Sakusa had punched him in the face. Not a playful punch but a hard punch. Looking up, he was met with Sakusa giving him a nasty look while he ground his teeth.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Miya. I thought I had made it clear next time you talked to me like that I was gonna fucking punch you in the face you dumbass. Leave me alone for the last time,”

All Atsumu could do was lie there holding his cheek in utter shock and cower at Sakusa. What had happened in a year to result in this?

The team immediately sprang into action and separated the 2 away from each other. This sudden bundle of movement knocked Atsumu out of his shocked state.

“What the absolute FUCK Omi. You don’t get to hit me as if you’re allowed that right. Get over here so I can return that nice gesture of yours!” Atsumu basically jumped at Sakusa, but Bokuto stopped him midway so that he was holding the blond currently. Sakusa, being held back by Tomas, gave a nasty sneer.

“I don’t get that right? You are a piece of work, Miya, and I’m SO glad that you aren’t my piece of work anymore.”

With that, Atsumu went rigid. So that’s why no one would speak of Sakusa. He had broken up with Atsumu. It all made sense now, and he had a sour taste on his tongue. He got off Bokuto and backed up in a haze, still staring at Sakusa. Slowly and shakily, he walked over to Foster, who was close by already.

“Can I be excused from practice, please.” A quiet beg of Atsumu asked his coach. Foster nodded silently.

“I think that’s a good idea, rest up, Miya.”

For some reason, that set off Sakusa, and he started marching over towards them.

“Why the fuck does he get to go home early? Are we just gonna allow him to act like a childish brat and get away with it? What happened to laps huh, coach?”

Sakusa’s words were like poison to Atsumu, and the latter froze in place, staring at the ground in fear.

“Sakusa, dude back off! You’ve been gone for a week, something happened,” Barnes snapped at him.

“No. I’m not gonna ‘back off’. I leave for a week, and suddenly we treat Miya as if he’s helpless, give me a break.” Sakusa was somehow getting more irritated by the second, and as Meian and Tomas tried to tell Sakusa off, Hinata interrupted.

“He doesn’t remember! He doesn’t remember anything from a year ago.” Hinata’s eyes got watery, but there was something off with the way he said it. Something was missing from Atsumu’s head that he didn’t know.

“A… a year ago?” Sakusa sputtered out. This time, Atsumu looked his way and was met with a long stare, with what seemed like guilt and pain clouding Sakusa’s eyes.

Atsumu, not being able to handle another minute of this, grabbed his bag and headed for the door in silent rage at all the memories he didn’t have.