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Chapter Text

Later, Violet would look back and wonder what would have happened had she not showed up to Benedict’s apartment that day. She’d wonder how things would have turned out for all of them had she decided against taking a short break from her vigil, at her son’s side, to go grab his favorite comforter. Worried he was getting cold in the practically frigid hospital room. 

She wondered sometimes what would have become of Sophie Baek had they not met when they did. What would have happened to her new, baby grandson, Charles had they not been made aware of his existence. 

But Violet supposed it was best to not think about it. Things had turned out for the best.

—

Violet was giving herself ten minutes to get in and out of Benedict’s apartment. 

She hated that she’d left his side. While he was laying, unconscious in a hospital bed on the otherside of the city. After a terrible and unexpected hit and run had left him with a shattered lower leg and emergency brain surgery. Not to mention, he’d been on a ventilator for over two weeks since the surgery to repair the fracture, with it only recently had it been removed once the doctors’ decided his brain had healed enough, but they were all still waiting with baited breath for him to wake up. 

Violet had hardly slept since the accident. Since Anthony had called her that morning while on route to the hospital himself. She’d been unable to calm her mind long enough for her brain to relax and find sleep, constantly fretting over Benedict’s health and what would happen if he didn’t recover. She’d spent the past few weeks sitting at her son’s side, with no desire to leave it no matter how many times her children and in-laws told her she needed to. To at least take a moment to breathe lest she fall ill herself. 

But she was certain Benedict had been shivering that morning. And she knew he had an old, crocheted blanket her mother-in-law, Alexandra, had made him before her death sitting over the couch at his apartment and thought it a good idea to grab it for him. She’d decided just to leave his side for a brief moment to go fetch it. 

And, mercifully, Benedict’s apartment wasn’t too far from the hospital. John had even figured out a time for them to go when the traffic was reduced, so that she wouldn’t spend too long away from Benedict. 

Ten minutes. Only ten minutes. The less time she spent here the better.

Because anything could happen. 

As she stepped out of the elevator, distracted by her thoughts, Violet soon paused, stopping dead in her tracks as she was snapped from her worried thoughts by the muffled noises coming from down the hall.

It sounded like it was coming from Benedict’s apartment. And was not what Violet expected as she moved closer down the hallway, towards his door at the end. The doorman hadn’t said anything about anyone already being up there when she’d arrived. It worried her, since she initially couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation for it.

Not to mention, it sounded like yelling. 

She did have eight children. While one was currently lying in a hospital bed, the other seven were worried sick about them. For all she knew, it could have been one or two of them on the other side of the door, having decided to sneak in and stay at their brother’s apartment in an attempt for simple comfort. 

But, the yelling was still concerning. 

Before she could do anything, reach out and knock on the dark walnut wood front door with a thick, black trim and silver handle, it sprung open. Violet stumbled back, almost losing her footing in the process as she slapped a hand to her chest in surprise. Her heartrate skyrocketed in a second. Watching as the door swung in and slammed into the french gray painted hallway in Benedict’s apartment. 

And revealing, standing in the narrow hallway, two individuals. One whom Violet immediately recognized as her eldest son, Anthony, and the other, a young woman she didn’t. They’d been the ones arguing from the looks of it. Anthony had his hand wrapped around the young woman’s wrist. Looking as though he’d been in the midst of pushing her out of the apartment. 

“Anthony?” Violet gasped out after a moment. After the shock wore off.

Anthony, who’d been glaring furiously at the young woman, glanced up towards her and his eyes widened in surprise. 

“Mum?”

“What on earth are you doing?” she asked next, still stunned. 

The young woman, a petite little thing with dark, pin straight hair pulled into a loose ponytail, glanced over her shoulder towards Violet as well. Her dark amber eyes were wide with shock and fear. She looked petrified. 

Realizing what her son was doing, seeing the hand around her wrist, Violet immediately snapped. “Anthony, let go of her!” 

It took him a second to comply, but the young woman took Violet’s scolding as an opportunity to tug her arm out of his grip, stepping further away from him and up against the wall. 

“Mum, what are you doing here?” Anthony asked.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Violet told him.

“You asked me to pick up Benedict’s comforter,” her son told her, exhausted.

Violet blinked. Had she? She couldn’t remember. Everything had been so overwhelming and nerve wrecking, no updates or changes in Benedict's condition that it had led to the days blurring together. And it wasn’t as if she’d been sleeping well lately. She must have forgotten that she texted Anthony while he was at work. 

Next to them, the young woman began to slowly inch her way towards the door, hoping to escape why their backs were turned. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to cause any problems,” she said hastily to them, cringing. “I’ll go.” 

“Hold on. Wait!” Violet interrupted, quickly stepping in her path as the woman turned to flee. Gentler, but still confused, she said. “I’m sorry. Who are you?”

“S-Sophie,” the woman said. “I’m Benedict’s girlfriend.”

Violet’s eyes widened in surprise. Girlfriend? Since when had Benedict been seeing anyone?

Next to them, Anthony scoffed. “Are we seriously supposed to believe–?” he started. 

“ Anthony !” Violet cut in harshly, holding a hand up to stop her son. “Let her speak.”

She turned back to Sophie, who still looked rather skittish. Ready to flee. Like a deer readying itself to run, her dark eyes snapping back and forth between them and the door. Trying to figure out her escape. 

“Why are you here, Sophie?” Violet asked, gentler. 

“Um…” Sophie watched Anthony for a few more tense seconds, before looking over at Violet. “Benedict wasn’t answering his phone. I’ve been calling him for weeks and got worried.”

Right. The accident.

If Violet had had no knowledge of Benedict’s girlfriend, and neither had Anthony by his reaction, it was unlikely Sophie had heard what happened. Especially since they worked so hard to keep it quiet and out of the press. 

Taking a deep breath, Violet sighed, reaching out and taking Sophie’s hands in hers. She was going to have to be the one to break the news to her. 

“Sophie. There is no easy way to say this but…Benedict was in an accident,” she started to tell her, being as gentle as she could. 

In an instant, as she received the news, all the color in Sophie’s face drained away as she stared at them in shock. Her body stiffening as if she’d momentarily turned to stone from the shock and disbelief. The fear on her face grew more alarmed. Worry filled her dark amber eyes. 

“What?” she said, her voice barely a whisper.  

“There was a hit and run,” Violet explained with an exhausted sigh. “He’s at the hospital right now. He’s been in a coma for three weeks. That's why you haven’t heard from him.”

“A…a hit and run?” Sophie didn’t seem to register what she was saying. “Who–?” 

She couldn’t continue, unable to find the words. Sophie looked ill.

Quite literally. As if she was about to throw up, Sophie gagged, pulling her hands away. Violet and Anthony both instinctually stepped back, away from her, as her cheeks ballooned out and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. Clutching her stomach at the same time.

“Excuse me,” she quickly muttered as she fled past them and into the bathroom that was right next to the kitchen, slamming the door behind her. Seconds later, they heard the sounds of vomiting from the other side. 

Violet moved to follow her, to make sure she was okay, but was stopped by her eldest son stepping in her path. 

“Mother–” Anthony started to argue.

But Violet only held up a hand, silencing him. 

“Let me deal with this,” was all she told him, sternly, as she side-stepped around him and continued making her way towards the bathroom door. 

Sophie was still throwing up by the sounds of it. Gently, Violet rapped her knuckles against the wood to alert her to her presence, hearing one the sounds of the young woman continuing to heave on the other side. After knocking, she waited a few seconds before speaking. 

“Sophie?” she asked calmly. “Are you alright?” 

Silence.

She knocked again but there was still no response. Carefully, Violet fiddled with the doorknob, twisting it and finding the door had been left unlocked. Granting her access to the half bath. Slowly, she opened the door and poked her head in, finding Sophie crouched over the toilet, her body shaking as she emptied the contents of her stomach. 

“I’m really sorry,” Sophie gasped out between heaves. 

“Oh, it’s alright,” Violet assured her, stepping into the small half bath and almost closed the door behind her. “Do you want me to get you something? Tea? Water?”

“I-I think I’m okay,” the young woman answered shakily, before gagging again. “I don’t t-think my stomach can handle anything right now.”

“Let me at least get you some water,” Violet said. “I’ll be right back.”

As she slipped out of the bathroom, heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of water for Sophie, Anthony reappeared at her side.

“You seriously cannot be believing her right?” he said to her, voice a hiss.

Violet frowned, her eyes narrowing as she glanced towards Anthony through the corner of her eye. A dark brow slowly rose on her face as she stared at him.

“We have no proof they know each other,” he added. “Did you know Benedict was seeing anyone?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“He’s never once mentioned her and we’re just supposed to trust they know one another?”

“I think we should give her a chance,” she told him with a stern edge as she spotted, in the corner of her eye, a small photo of Benedict and Sophie taped to the side of the fridge behind Anthony, hidden away from sight. It was a selfie, with the pair smiling happily at the camera.

Turning off the tap and making her way back to the bathroom, she added. “Wait here,” and stepped back into the small room.

Where she found Sophie still kneeling next to the toilet, one hand clutching the rim and the other rubbed at her upper chest. She was taking deep breaths as she rubbed a hand over one of her breasts, squeezing at the muscle in the hopes she could just message the pain away. And Violet couldn’t deny that she looked exhausted. 

“Here,” she said, handing the glass to Sophie. Violet watched as she started taking small, patient sips, making sure she didn't drink too much too fast and upset her stomach further. 

Poor girl. She must have been sick with worry. So much she’d made herself. Violet was certain Benedict had medicine somewhere in the apartment. Something to help with the nausea. 

Then, as if she’d been struck by a bullet train, Violet froze. 

Nausae. fatigue, breast tenderness, vomiting.

Her eyes widened. She knew those symptoms. Went through them eight times herself over a period of two decades. To the point that she knew exactly what that meant when put together. And there were other signs as well. The loose fitting closing, that would help conceal a slow growing bump and breast changes. The not wanting to eat anything because she could barely keep it down, anything except water.

“Sophie? Are you pregnant?” she inquired quietly, before she even realized the words were leaving her mouth. 

Now it was Sophie’s turn to freeze. Her already pale face went white, as she suddenly looked shaken by the question. Her eyes widening in fear was all Violet needed to confirm her suspicions. 

“How far along are you?” she then asked, softer.

“Eleven weeks,” Sophie replied weakly after a few silent seconds. 

“Does Benedict know?” Violet then asked and Sophie nodded, before her face slowly twisted up and her eyes began to water. 

“I’m sorry,” she suddenly blurted out as she began to cry. 

Violet blinked, surprised by the sudden outburst, watching Sophie descend into panicked sobs. Confused as to why she would be so apologetic. Why on earth would she feel like she needed to apologize? This was wonderful news in Violet’s opinion. Her maternal instincts quickly kicked in, worried that Sophie might make herself ill again. 

“Oh! Oh sweetheart, it’s alright,” she said, quickly reaching out and wrapping her arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She let out a small laugh. “You did nothing wrong.” 

The poor girl. She’d spent weeks worrying about Benedict, with no idea where he was or what had happened to him, and all while pregnant.  What must she have been thinking these past few weeks? She must have been out of her mind with worry and fear. And Violet knew that kind of stress could be harmful to a pregnancy. 

When he woke up, Violet was going to give her son one hell of an earful for keeping Sophie a secret from them. 

“There, there,” she said, rubbing her hand up and down the woman’s back. Comforting her. “It will be alright.”

A few moments of providing tender, maternal comfort, Violet was able to help Sophie calm down. Helping her breath slowly until her body relaxed and the tears slowed. She got her to drink some of the water finally, which helped in calming Sophie’s erratic nerves. Violet even pulled some toilet paper from the roll to gently dab Sophie’s watery eyes as she sat on the floor with her, before grabbing some more so she could blow her nose. 

“You’re alright,” Violet told her gently. “We’ll figure this out. Trust me.”

Then there was sudden and aggressive pounding on the door behind them. Surprising them both and making them jump. Alarmed, Violet quickly got back to her feet to open it. Swinging the door open to find Anthony standing on the other side, looking panicked. 

“What? What is it?” she asked, on alert the second she saw the expression on his face. 

“Colin just called. Benedict’s awake.”

—

They decided to leave Sophie behind at the apartment.

The poor girl was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and in her current condition the less stress put on her the better. Violet’s orders. So, she had to stay behind and get some rest, with Violet promising to come back and check on her after she’d seen Benedict. Update her and probably even give her a ride back to the hospital to see him.

They left Sophie on the couch, since she’d refused to take Benedict’s room or the bed in the guest room. Her eyes half lidded and body teetering on the edge of sleep as they left, Violet had made sure to wrap her in a large, soft comforter before they left. She would most likely be fast asleep by now. 

Anthony had sped them back to the hospital, even after Violet had told him to slow down and stop speeding. Violet hated driving in Anthony’s Porsche, but they’d decided to take his car and go. They’d come back for her car and check on Sophie then. Give her the update on everything and figure out the next steps. 

As they finally pulled into the hospital, Violet was already out of the car and rushing in before Anthony could even stop the car. Her sharp heels clicked against the clean, linoleum floors as she and Anthony hastily rushed down the hallways, up the elevator, and down a few more matching halls to the VIP room Benedict had been set up in by the hospital. 

Where they found Colin pacing back and forth in front of the door.

“Colin! Sweetheart!” Violet gasped out as they approached. She quickly threw her arms around him and gave him a quick hug. Scanning him over. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Benedict’s in speaking with the doctor right now. But before you go in–Mum, wait!,” Colin was barely able to say as Violet then raced past him and into the hospital room. Unable to stop herself.

Into a room where she’d been spending the past few weeks practically imobile as she remained at her son’s side. A room where she now found her second born son sitting up in bed, completely alert and awake, chatting politely with the doctor standing next to his bed.

“Benedict!” Violet couldn’t hold back her excitement any longer, rushing to her son’s side and throwing her arms around him. 

Feeling the hot tears coming on, she quickly tried to blink them away, knowing Benedict would no doubt chide her for it, but she couldn’t help but feel relieved that he was awake and well. Speaking to her as if nothing was wrong. So, she kissed his forehead instead, to hide her reddening eyes, as she continued to clutch him against her. 

“Hey Mum,” Benedict said back with a slight chuckle as he hugged her back. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I was so worried,” Violet told him, pulling back and cupping his face in her hands. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to let go of him. She then stroked a hand over his hair a few times, pushing the strands back, before enveloping him in another hug. “Do not ever put me through that again. I don’t think I’ll be able to take it.” 

“I’m okay Mum,” he assured her, still smiling. One of his hands reached up and rubbed her arm comfortingly. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

She pulled back to get another look at him, unable to speak without crying and just wanting to confirm he truly was okay, while Anthony came closer.  

“Hey Anth,” Benedict said with a smile.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you right now,” Anthony told his brother with a relieved sigh as he moved around to the other side of the bed, leaning forward to give his brother a hug as well. Stepping into the room last was Colin, looking between the two with an alarmed, worried expression. Looking like he wanted to say something to them but unsure how. 

Benedict clutched his brother back before giving him an assuring pat on the back as Anthony pulled away. 

“Good to see you too,” he told his brother as he smiled. 

“Sophie’s at the apartment right now. She’ll be so relieved to know you're awake,” she then said as she smiled at him, using her hand to gently continue brushing Benedict’s limp hair off his forehead.

But Benedict’s smile only twisted higher as he frowned up at her, the first sign something was wrong, and he gave her a confused smirk. Like she’d said something funny that he didn’t understand. 

“Who’s Sophie?” he asked, simply.

Chapter Text

| Two Months Later |

“They’re late.”

Sophie sighed. “It’s been two minutes.” 

“The appointment was for one o’clock. And the doctor asked us to be here fifteen minutes before the appointment time,” Marilla told her with a huff and Sophie sighed again as her godmother continued. “I just don’t understand why we can be here on time, but they can’t.”

Her godmother was sitting ramrod straight in the seat by the door, looking the epitome of a cankerous, old grandma as she sat with her purse clutched in both hands on her lap. All while Sophie, meanwhile, was sitting on crinkled paper laid over the examination table next to her, waiting for their doctor to arrive to begin the appointment. 

“He said he would be here,” Sophie reminded her. 

“He should have offered to drive you,” was her godmother's sour remark back. “That would be the courteous thing to do.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Sophie tried to not let out another exhausted sigh and point out to her godmother that she wouldn’t have let him drive her even if he had asked. Instead, she rubbed the bridge of her nose with her middle finger and took a deep breath. She could feel a migraine beginning to build behind her eye. 

Besides, the last she’d heard, Daphne had told her Benedict was still not driving. And he wouldn’t go anywhere near a car unless someone else was in the driver’s seat. Someone he trusted. 

And not wanting to argue with Marilla, Sophie tried to focus her attention elsewhere as a distraction, while they waited for the father of her child to arrive. 

Said father who he did not even remember conceiving the child currently growing inside of her. Let alone remember the relationship he had with it’s mother.

It. She really should stop calling it that. That wasn’t fair. She should think of something nicer to call the fetus. 

The walls of the room were a soft orangy pink, which looked almost nauseatingly bright under the fluorescent lights, which somehow, even with its size, seemed to be barely illuminating the room. On the counter next to them, a plastic model of a vagina and uterus along with pamphlets about women’s health and pregnancy risks decorated the wooden counter. The ultrasound machine, which had been turned on by the nurse when she brought them in, was sitting next to the examination table, waiting to be used. 

The past two months have been…interesting. To say the least. 

After spending three weeks thinking Benedict had been ghosting her, abandoned her after finding out she was the pregnant they way her own father had her mother decades ago, she instead found out the reason for his no contact was because he’d nearly died in a hit and run that had left him in a coma, which had then turned into him waking up with amnesia. With no memory of the past four years, which included their relationship. And leaving Sophie–

Well, she wasn’t entirely sure. Tired. Anxious. Confused. Worried. Heartbroken.

Pregnant. She was definitely still pregnant.

And her relationship with Benedict seemed to be on pause currently. Dating wasn’t something that had been brought up or discussed ever since she’d first seen him after his accident.

Not yet anyway. And Sophie had no idea how she was going to react when the conversation was finally had. Delaying it seemed to be working perfectly for all of them so far. No need to willingly bring on heartbreak. 

The door suddenly burst open as two bodies stumbled into the room. 

“Sorry, so sorry,” Violet said, out of breath. 

“Traffic was a nightmare,” Benedict added behind her, looking equally flustered and exhausted. “And the parking lot was packed.”

“Which is why I told you we should have left earlier,” Violet chided as she dragged him further into the room and shut the door behind them. 

“And I told you we should have just had John drive us,” Benedict shot back quietly.

Her head snapping towards him, Violet gave her son a stern look, effectively silencing him with said look, one that said ‘do not push it. We will discuss this later ,’ to which Benedict promptly shut his mouth. Looking a little annoyed as well. Violet then spun back around towards them. The bright, beaming smile back on her face. 

“Sophie! How are you sweetheart?” she asked, coming over and pulling her into a quick hug. “Feeling alright? How have your symptoms been? Not too bad, right?”

Sophie shook her head. “The morning sickness is practically gone.”

“Good, good. Well, you look radiant today. Practically glowing,” Violet told her, rubbing her arm comfortingly. She then turned around, finally spotting Marilla sitting in the chair by the door and stopped in her tracks. Her smile momentarily faltered before Violet quickly forced it to remain on her face. It widened further as she tightly said. “Marilla.”

“Violet,” Sophie’s godmother returned flatly. Her face was now permanently set in a neutral look of displeasure. One Marilla had been solely reserving for the Bridgertons. 

And making Sophie sigh again. She’d hoped her godmother could at least be cordial but Marilla hadn’t been fond of the Bridgertons ever since the topic of DNA had been brought up. 

Another issue that had made resuming their relationship difficult.

Benedict’s older brother had practically blindsided her with the request–well, demanded it really, telling her in no simple terms that there would be no further communication or support with Sophie from his family until the paternity was proven, even though Benedict and his mother had been against the suggestion. It had been an incredibly uncomfortable situation to be caught in, watching Benedict and his mother argue with Anthony over the matter. All while Sophie and the Bridgertons’ solicitor sat awkwardly on the sofa in between them, unsure if they should leave or not.

And Sophie had also been against the test too, knowing something like that could be risky to the baby, before her obstetrician had told her during her check up that since it was still pretty early, all they would need was a little bit of blood from her and Benedict to test for paternity. If that was something she wanted. 

But if it would shut Anthony up, Sophie decided it was worth just getting it over with. There was no other way she could prove it was Benedict otherwise, not until the baby was born. It’s not like he could back up her claim. He didn’t even remember being with her, let alone sleeping with her. Besides, Sophie had spent the better part of her life appeasing others, it had become second nature for her. To keep everyone around her happy. 

Two quick blood draws later (and a week of waiting by the phone for the doctor to call), the results proved without a shadow of a doubt that Benedict was the baby’s father.

And Marilla had disliked him and his family ever since. Even after Violet had apologized profusely for the matter, while Benedict had sheepishly told Sophie he was sorry for putting her through that. That she hadn’t needed to agree to it. 

Ever since then, Marilla refused to let Sophie meet with the Bridgertons alone, attending all her check ups and doctor visits. Something which had caused Violet to begin attending them as well. Marilla even went so far as to have Sophie’s father’s old solicitor, Mr. Beckett, put together a custody agreement to have on standby.

Because that didn’t make things with Benedict even more difficult to figure out. It wasn’t like they’d spoken much since the day he woke up from his coma. Not without one of his family members being present.

Suffice to say, things had become awkward between them. Had been ever since she saw him in the hospital after he’d woken up. After Violet had told her what happened. When she’d finally gathered the courage and agreed to come and see him. Talk to him. Explain to him who she was and see his handsome face again. 

“So, we were dating?” he’d asked her, as she stood awkwardly next to his bed in his hospital room. 

“Um…yeah,” she’d replied nervously. “About a year.” 

“And now you’re pregnant?”

“Pretty much,” she had told him, having never felt more uncomfortable in her life. 

“So, you’re my girlfriend and you’re pregnant?” Benedict then asked again, to clarify. 

“Um…sort of. I guess,” was her nervous response. 

But Sophie wasn’t sure what to label their relationship now. Were they really dating when he didn’t even remember any of it? But, they’d also never officially broken up either. It was like the relationship had been put in limbo. A restart she never asked for. And with a baby on board, it wasn’t like they could go their separate ways now, Benedict wanted to be involved. Had both before and after his accident she found out. Even when she’d told him for a second time that she was carrying his baby, a small, excited smile had tugged at his lips. Once she knew wasn’t faked or forced. 

“That’s…That’s really great,” he’d told her in that hospital room, almost innocent. Smiling sheepishly at her. 

Since then Benedict had tried to spend time with her, but with his memory loss and broken leg, most of his time had been taken up with doctor’s visits and physical therapy. Plus, he’d left town for a few weeks with his siblings, going to his family’s home in Kent to relax and recover. Just for a few weeks, he’d told her. He promised he’d be back in London for her next check up. 

And Violet had told Sophie she was welcome to join them, but she’d declined. She didn’t think it was her place to go. She’d probably have just been stuck continuing the awkward dance she and Benedict were now in, or socializing with his siblings. Whom she barely knew, let alone, wasn’t entirely sure if they even liked her. Besides, she’d had classes and work. It wasn’t easy for her to take time off the way Benedict could.

So, their wonky, out of step dance continued. 

“Um…hi,” Benedict finally said to her, polite and awkward as his mother got settled into the chair next to Marilla.

“Hi,” Sophie returned politely with a small nod. 

If Sophie could have been standing on an active landmine right now, instead of being stuck in this very examination room, she would. Anywhere else would have been better than this. 

Benedict came to stand to her right, awkwardly waddling over since he was still wearing a knee brace for the leg that had suffered a broken tibia in the accident. The cast had been taken off but they’d put him in a brace for now to make him limit the amount of weight he put on it. 

“How’s your leg?” Sophie inquired gently. 

“Fine. Stiff as a board, but my doctor said it's healing well,” Benedict told her as he took a seat next to her. “He thinks I’ll get lucky with my physical therapy and not end up with a limp.” 

“As long as he does the exercises his therapist tells him to do,” Violet added. 

“I’ll be fine. Hell, I think I could even pull it off if it fails,” Benedict said to his mother, jokingly. To which Violet only scoffed. “Right Sophie?”

“I um…I think I’d prefer you without the limp,” Sophie told him, gently. 

She didn’t really want anymore reminders of his near death experience. There was already the half crescent shaped scar on his forehead, from where his skull had fractured on impact with the concrete ground. And that was the one she could see. She knew there was another one hidden behind the thick brace around his leg. 

Benedict only smiled. “Well, that’s all the motivation I need then.”

There was a quick rap on the door before it opened, and Sophie’s obstetrician, Dr. Jones stepped in. 

“Good afternoon Bridgertons and Baek,” the doctor cheerily greeted. “How is everyone?”

Dr. Jones had been recommended to Sophie by Benedict’s sister, Daphne, the only one of his siblings to have already had a child. Having experienced the chaotic Bridgertons before, Dr. Jones had been pretty unfazed when it became apparent Violet and Marilla would be attending every check up with the expecting parents. She still made sure to meet privately with Sophie at the end of each visit, just so they could talk one on one about any concerns or questions she might have. 

As everyone returned her greeting, Dr. Jones washed her hands in the sink and began prepping for the exam. “How are you feeling today, Sophie?” she asked. “I know last time you were here you said the morning sickness had been pretty rough.”

“It’s been better. A lot better. I haven’t had any for the past week,” Sophie replied. 

“Good. That’s good,” the doctor said as she put on a pair of rubber gloves and began to fiddle with the ultrasound machine. She asked Sophie a few more routine questions, going through the steps for the second trimester visit, before saying. “Alright, now that we got all of that out of the way, let’s get to the fun part. Let’s take a look at the little peanut.”

Sophie slowly lowered herself back down onto the examination table, before pulling her shirt up over her slowly rounding stomach. Next to her, Benedict awkwardly coughed and cleared his throat at the sight of her exposed stomach, glancing away. 

“This is going to be a little cold,” Dr. Jones told her as she took the small bottle off the stand and squeezed some blue gel onto her stomach.

Sophie grimaced from the cold gel hitting her skin, but shrugged it off quickly as the doctor brought the device over and pressed it down onto her stomach. There were a few button clicks as she fiddled more with the machine, pushing the device around Sophie's stomach as she did, spreading the gel around. 

“So far so good,” Dr. Jones said as she moved the probe around. 

One button press and the room filled with the faint sounds of a muffled heartbeat filled the room. A soft, steady beat that sounded like it was coming from underwater. Sophie sighed, relieved to hear it’s little heartbeat, and relaxed back into the bed. 

“Dr. Jones. I had a quick question,” Violet started to say.

As she started a conversation with the doctor, asking for her advice on anything they could do to help make Sophie’s pregnancy easier, Benedict leaned over closer to her and whispered. “How did you get here?” 

“We took the tube,” Sophie answered quietly, glancing over to him. Seeing how close he was to hers now. 

“We can drive you both home after this if you need,” he offered next, voice as quiet as hers.

“I’m alright,” she whispered. “Marilla and I can get back to Camden on our own.”

“You’re sure?” Benedict asked again. 

“Yes.” 

“I really don’t mind–

“Yes, Benedict. I’m fine. Honestly, your being–” Sophie started, exasperated at this point. 

“And there’s the penis!” Dr. Jones announced brightly with a smile.

“Sorry?” both Benedict and Sophie said, heads snapping towards the screen as they looked at it in surprise. 

Dr. Jones pointed a blue gloved finger to the black and white shapes on the screen in front of her, moving the device a little more around Sophie’s stomach to get a better angle. “It looks like you are having a little boy,” she clarified happily, before her eyes then widened and the smile disappeared. “You wanted to know the sex, right? I didn’t accidentally ruin the surprise?”

“Oh, how wonderful!” Violet remarked excitedly before either one of them could respond, beaming. 

“Well, isn’t that a pleasant surprise,” Marilla added, finally smiling. 

“It’s a boy?” Sophie asked, stunned.

The doctor nodded, having guessed from their reactions they weren’t upset about her accident gender reveal. “And a perfectly healthy one too. What’s the saying again? Practically perfect in every way.” She looked back at the screen. “I’m not seeing any abnormalities or causes for concern. Everything seems to be going exactly as it should.” 

But Sophie’s eyes were still pinned on the screen in front of her. On the staticy, black and white screen with a little baby shaped blob in the middle. She couldn't look away. Couldn’t take her eyes away from it.

A boy. She was having a little boy. 

It wasn’t an it anymore. It was a boy. 

“Let’s see about getting you both some pictures shall we,” Dr. Jones said as she pressed a few buttons.

“Is there any chance we can get a few additional copies?” Violet inquired politely from behind her with a sweet, charming smile. “Like for the grandparents?”

“I can print a few extras,” Dr. Jones answered gently with a smile of her own.  

As she continued to stare, stunned, at the little screen, Sophie felt a hand squeeze her wrist, snapping her from her shock. She glanced over to see Benedict was staring at the screen with the same stunned expression she’d had. He’d involuntarily squeezed her wrist without realizing. 

“We’re having a boy,” he said, his pale eyes snapping to hers as a smile pulled at his lips. Eyes sparkling. Having grown wet. 

“Yeah,” she breathed out, slowly smiling as well.  

There was one positive in all of this. That even if she couldn’t figure out where things stood now with Benedict, at least she knew he would love their son as much as she would. 

| A Few Days Later |

“Thank you again for this, Daphne. You’re sure you don’t need it?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” the redheaded Bridgerton said with a wave of her hand. “Simon and I decided it was better to upgrade our stroller to one of those two seaters, since Amelia can be a bit of a handful. Trust me. You’re doing me a massive favor by taking this off my hands.”

Sophie continued to watch as she quickly finished disassembling the baby pram she’d been showing her, in record speed she might add. It was rather impressive how quickly Daphne could fold the pram, especially in her current state. Her pregnant belly sticking out from underneath the gorgeous floral maternity dress she was wearing. 

Daphne had invited her over to her mother’s home today to show her the spare pram she had, along with a bunch of other baby items she’d offered to hand down to her. Something Sophie was still trying to figure out how comfortable she was with. Taking assistance from the Bridgertons. 

Maybe it was because Violet had offered to pay for all the items, along with other offers of assistance to help make things easier for Sophie during her pregnancy. Maybe that was what had made Sophie so hesitant to take help. It wasn’t as if she’d been okay with Benedict always covering the cost when they’d been dating. 

She wasn’t going to take a handout. That was for certain. 

But it wasn’t like she couldn’t not get a crib. Or a stroller. Or diapers. Or baby clothes. Or the list of other items they would need to help care for the little peanut. 

It was just that baby items were just so expensive .

So, she had created a spreadsheet. An excel sheet that listed all the items they would need for the baby, to help split the costs between her and Benedict. Something Benedict had blinked at, stunned by how detailed she’d made it. With the range of costs and links to items that were certified and approved for small children. 

Benedict had begrudgingly agreed to split the cost with her on the agreement that they would store the items temporarily at Violet’s home. 

And the gathering of said items had been going well. For the Bridgertons at least. Sophie wasn’t surprised that Benedict would have gotten all the items he needed to get in record time and without issue. His annual income was quadruple the amount she’d ever made in his life (plus a large inheritance). She knew money was never an issue for him.

For Sophie, it was a different story. In a period of three months, she’d been able to budget successfully enough to get two items off of her part of the list, with a third being removed by the Crabtrees gifting her a diaper table as a surprise. But she still had a couple more, expensive, items. And she wouldn’t take the Bridgertons help when Violet noticed her trailing behind and offered again to help. 

But, Violet had learned over the past two months that Sophie was very frugal and mindful with her spending, always going for the more inexpensive option. She’d realized that most of Sophie’s items were worn down or used, usually purchased from second hand stores or thrift shops except for a select few items that had been gifts. 

Hence why Daphne had suddenly reached out the other day offering Sophie her ‘old’ baby pram from when Amelia was little. Claiming it was old and worn down, that she was buying a new one, when Violet had gone out and bought the sleek black pram the week before, taking it out of the box and assembling the pram, walking it down her block and back, so it looked used. And so Sophie wouldn’t put two and two together. 

“I wish there was more that I could give you, but with this one–” Daphne motioned towards her large, pregnant belly. “–almost here. Simon and I still need some of it.”

“Oh no, I completely understand. And please don’t worry about it, this is more than enough,” Sophie assured. “I really can’t thank you enough. This has been a massive help.”

“Please, you’re carrying my nephew, Sophie. We’re family now. It’s what family does for one another,” Daphne told her with a bright smile. Which Sophie only gave with a polite smile back.

As she placed the pram into the hallway closet, one of seven located at Number 5 (where Violet lived with the youngest Bridgerton siblings), Daphne got it to fit in snugly next to the large box containing the cradle and the smaller box holding a baby bath. Items Benedict had been assigned to purchase. Then she closed the door, brushing her hands together. 

“Right, that’s that,” she announced cheerily. “You hungry?”

“Oh, um–”

“I’m starving,” Daphne said, continuing on happily. “And the baby’s really craving fries right now. And a really big strawberry milkshake.”

Sophie paused. She hadn’t planned to stay any longer. Her original plan had been to just come over quickly to see the pram before heading home to finish up some school work for the summer class she was taking. She didn’t really want to spend too long at Number 5.

“You need to eat too,” Daphne added, nudging her gently. “You’re eating for two now.”

She probably should say yes. Daphne had been nothing but kind to her since they’d met. Taking her in and providing all the guidance and advice Sophie needed to help her with her first pregnancy. Daphne was on her second now but had been in a similar boat as Sophie two years before; getting pregnant when she was only twenty one by her husband Simon while they’d been unmarried. She could relate to Sophie’s situation. Somewhat. 

Sophie just had the added bonus of amnesia in her situation. 

But Daphne had still been able to complete her university degree and now worked at a successful non-profit that focused on assisting children with disabilities. She was married, successful and happy. Everything Sophie hoped for. 

And the polite thing was to have lunch with her. After everything she’d done so far for Sophie. All the advice she’d given and the support.

“Sure,” she told her. “I can stay for a bit.”

Daphne’s smile widened. “Wonderful!”

—

“And that is why I can never trust Colin alone with Amelia.”

“Because he killed your hamster?”

“Especially because he killed my hamster,” Daphne exclaimed before taking a long sip from her milkshake. 

Sophie chuckled lightly as she picked at the fries in front of her. On the dark wood kitchen table in between them were wrappers and half eaten meals from McDonalds, along with two large milkshakes. 

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Sophie asked.

“Baby shower planning,” Daphne responded with a smile. 

“Right. That’s coming up isn’t it?”

“You’re coming aren’t you?”

“Um…yeah,” Sophie told her. “I’m pretty sure I can make it.” 

Not that she really wanted to. 

“Ugh, it's exhausting sometimes though. Being pregnant. I swear it feels like I’ve grown two sizes bigger in shoes. But at least I’ve been through this before,” Daphne told her as she slumped back in her seat, rubbing a hand over her protruding stomach. “What about you? What were you thinking of doing for your baby shower?”

“Oh, I’m not really sure,” Sophie admitted. She hadn’t put too much thought into a baby shower. Was it even worth having one?

“Have you figured out a theme? That’s always the best place to start when it comes to planning.”

“Not really.” 

“What about a fall themed one? Since the baby is due in September,” Daphne suggested before gasping excitedly. “Oh! We could make it pumpkin themed. That would be easy to work with. And it would be so cute. You could get the balloons to look like little pumpkins.”

“What are you two talking about?” Benedict asked suddenly as he hopped into the room, taking Sophie by surprise. 

She straightened up in her seat, surprised to see him. She wasn’t sure she’d even heard him come in, but Violet’s house was so big there was quite a bit of a distance between the front door and the kitchen. A long narrow hallway connecting the two for the noise to get down, along with her chatting with Daphne, could have easily drowned out the sounds of the front door opening and closing.

Seeing Benedict struggling a little with his crutches, Sophie quickly moved to stand, to go over and help him over to a chair, but he quickly waved her off. 

“I was just offering to help Sophie with the baby shower,” Daphne told him over her shoulder as she leaned back to look at her brother. 

She laughed along awkwardly, forcing a polite smile as she lowered herself back into the chair. “I’m sure I’ll need it.”

“Well, I’m certain I can leave you in Daphne’s capable and experienced hands,” Benedict told his sister with a smile, coming to stand behind her seat, before glancing at Sophie. “If anyone knows how to plan a party it's Daph. And my mother.”

As he spoke, Benedict leaned most of his body onto one of the crutches as he used his other arm to reach around his sister’s shoulder to snag a couple of her fries from the bag while her head was turned. Daphne only saw his hand pull away at the last second, with a handful of her fries clutched in his grip, and gasped.

“Hey!” she cried out, aghast. “Those were my fries!”

“And now there's mine,” Benedict replied with a cocky grin, dropping the fries into his mouth before she could even attempt to snatch them back.

“Pregnant!” Daphne reminded him. “Remember?”

But Benedict only laughed as he pulled out the chair next to Sophie and took a seat. Resting his crutches against the wall behind him. 

“I promise I’ll buy you all the fries you want next time,” he told his sister, before making another attempt at her fries, to which Daphne quickly slapped his hand away this time. “So, what were you thinking?”

“For what?” Daphne asked.

“The baby shower.”

“Well, I thought maybe go with a season theme,” Daphne told him, getting excited again. “Since my new little nephew is going to be a fall baby you could do something around that.”

“Daphne suggested going with pumpkins,” Sophie told him quietly, nudging her bag of half eaten fries towards him so that he could finish them. 

“That’s a good idea,” Benedict said as he took one of the fries she offered, giving her a wink as his thanks. 

“Whatever you need help with, just let me know,” Daphne said.

Right as she finished speaking, Violet walked into the kitchen, carrying a bag of what seemed to be last minute groceries. Which she quickly placed on the sleek marble countertop of the island in the middle of the room.

“Oh, Sophie! You’re here. How wonderful!” she said when she spotted her, beaming brightly as she began to empty the bag and put the items away. “You’re not leaving are you?”

“Um…” Sophie glanced down at her watch. If there was any opportunity to leave, it was now. “I do have to leave pretty soon.”

“Oh! Do you have a quick moment to chat?” Violet then asked sweetly.

“Um…sure,” Sophie replied.

“Why don’t we talk in the parlor?” Violet suggested. “I have something private I wanted to chat to you about.”

“Oh!” Sophie frowned, concerned. Given the last conversation she’d had in the parlor with the Bridgertons was about the baby’s DNA.

But Anthony had since been banned from any meetings Sophie had with his relatives. Especially ones about the baby. 

“I’ll be there in a second, Mum,” Benedict said behind her, confirming to Sophie this wasn’t a planned discussion. Judging from Benedict’s tone, he wasn’t aware she wanted to speak with Sophie and was probably concerned another incident would happen. 

But Violet only smiled. “Well, that’s good. Since I wanted to discuss it with you as well.”

As they entered the grand parlor located at the front of the house, Sophie had to pause to take in the room again. The home Violet owned was a large and old one, with the old baroque style trim still present across the walls. Almost regal, especially with the vintage future Violet used to furnish the rooms. One of the walls was covered from floor to ceiling with family photos, while a large framed picture of Violet and her late husband Edmund hung right above the fireplace. And much like the rest of the house, every table in the room had a bouquet of blooming flower arrangements. 

Sophie took her seat on the sofa across from the one Violet sat down on, with Benedict coming to sit next to her. It took him a bit but he made it in the end. 

“How have you been?” Violet asked, once she’d settled.

“Good. You?”

“Fine. Busy really. What with Daphne’s baby shower and Elosie and Fran being back from university,” Violet told her, before nodding towards Benedict. “Not to mention this one over here’s recovery.”  

“Have I said today how much I appreciate all the care and patience you’ve showered me with lately, mother?” he said, with a twinge of snark in his tone.

“Not yet, no,” Violet replied flatly, brow raised, as she recognized instantly that her son was mocking her. 

Benedict only smiled charmingly at her. “Love you too, Mum.”

Violet only quirked a brow at him as a response, lips pursed, before she swiftly moved on. Back to Sophie.

“I wanted to discuss your plans for after the baby comes? I know that’s months away but he’ll arrive quicker than you think,” Violet said to her. 

Sophie tried to keep her face neutral, to not let on to the worry she was beginning to feel. Was this it? The custody conversation? She knew it was possible after the DNA debacle. Maybe Marilla was right to notify the solicitor. 

“You have your own place, yes?”

“Yes. I’m renting right now.”

“And are you thinking of staying there?” Violet inquired lightly.

“Well, I’m thinking of maybe looking somewhere else. Maybe closer to my godparents,” Sophie replied politely, not noticing how next to her, Benedict had deflated. “But I still have to finish out my current lease.”

Violet hummed her understanding as she spoke, processing the information. Her pale eyes flicked to Benedict then back to Sophie as she nodded along. Thinking something over. 

“Well, might I suggest you two move in together?” she then suggested with a wide smile.

Chapter Text

Sophie blinked. “I’m sorry?” 

“What?” Benedict said at the same time, equally surprised as she was. 

“Move in together,” Violet repeated, smiling at them. “It will be good for you both. And the baby.” 

Sophie stared at the other woman, not fully processing what she’d just said. “Sorry, you said move in together?” she asked, clarifying, as if she hadn’t heard Violet correctly the first time. “Me and Benedict? Together? In the same apartment?”

Violet nodded, smiling. “You’ll be co-parenting soon enough. It would give you both time to prepare for when the little one arrives.” 

“Mum, don’t you think that’s a bit early for us?” Benedict suggested with an awkward laugh. “With everything that’s happened.”

Violet didn’t seem to agree. “Well, you two were together for a year before the accident.”

“Mum…” Benedict said with a sigh, cringing awkwardly, as if she should know better. 

Sophie chose not to comment, chewing on her lower lip instead. Living with Benedict had been something she’d thought about before he’d lost four years worth of memories. But not now. They were still getting somewhat reacquainted with one another (with the added issue of a baby on the way.)

“Besides, Benedict’s apartment has a better tube line nearby. One that can get you to your summer classes much quicker,” Violet added. “It’s only a short walk from his place, even though I’d prefer if you had John drive you. I don’t think it's good for you to be walking around in this summer heat all on your own. Especially in your condition.”

“I’m sorry but how did you know about my summer classes?” Sophie asked, surprised. She didn’t remember mentioning that to anyone but her godparents. 

Next to her Benedict closed his eyes and leaned forward, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Mother. Please tell me you have not been stalking Sophie?” he asked her, tightly. “How do you know about this?”

“Oh no, Marilla said Sophie was worried about completing her degree so I thought I would reach out to the dean to see if there was any way we could make her fall semester easier on her. Her due date is in September, Benedict. And the baby will take up a lot of time. For both of you . But when I spoke to him, the dean of her college let me know she was taking summer classes. I’m assuming, so she can complete her degree on time,” Violet clarified, as if it was a simple enough answer.

“Oh my god, Mum,” Benedict groaned out, mortified, his face dropping into his hands. When he lifted his head up, he looked over at Sophie and said. “I’m so sorry about this.”

“It’s fine,” Sophie politely assured, even if she was still a little taken aback.

“It would be good for you both,” Violet added, continuing. “You could do it temporarily. Until the baby is born. While you look for a new place, Sophie.”

The last sentence came out a little forced. As if Violet was only saying that to try and find a middle ground that would convince Sophie to agree with her idea. 

Benedict was still sitting next to her with his head in his hands. Leaving Sophie to awkwardly find a way to politely get out of the conversation. Any way out. 

“I’ll um…think about it,” Sophie told Violet. 

—

“Absolutely not!” 

“Marilla–”

“You are not living with that man!” Marilla snapped. 

Sophie bit her tongue, deciding it was best to let her godmother get it out of her system before continuing her defense. She’d known from the second she decided to tell them of the conversation with Violet it wouldn’t go well. But it wasn’t like she could keep it from them either. Violet was hellbent on repairing the relationship with Marilla and becoming friends.

“Honey,” Thomas said, gently but still as a warning. Trying to calm his wife.

“Why on earth would you move in with him?” Marilla then asked Sophie in disbelief.

“I didn’t say I would,” she then said to her godmother, as a reminder. “I said I’d think about it.”

Before he’d lost his memories of her, Benedict had suggested she move in with him. It wasn’t an official offer. More like he just wasn’t entirely comfortable with where she was currently living. The first time she’d taken him back to her place, he’d spent the entire ride in the rickety old elevator gripping the rusty handle bars, as if it was about to pull a Tower of Terror and collapse. The mere sight of seeing the building for the first time seemed to have almost caused him to suffer a stroke. And he had not been happy to find out that her godparents had only just discovered themselves where she was living.

“You know I don’t like you living in that building,” Marilla then said. “But I would rather you be here than living with him. An offer that I will remind you, I wish you would take.”

“Marilla, I don’t want to be a burden on you–” Sophie started.

“You are not a burden!” was her godmother’s quick retort. She looked appalled. “Sophie, you have never been a burden to us.”

“Alright, alright ! I won’t move in with Benedict,” Sophie told her, wanting the conversation to be over. The discomfort and sudden affection getting too much for her.

And Marilla sighed, realizing herself how angry she’d become. That it wasn’t fair to take it out on Sophie. Thomas even gave her a look when she caught his eyes, silently telling her she needed to relax. That she was upsetting Sophie.

“I'm sorry, Sophia. Just promise me you won’t move in with him. Not until we figure things out,” she said, gentler this time. 

“I won’t move in with him,” Sophie assured her. “I promise.” 

—

Her promise to Marilla lasted all of one week. 

One afternoon, after arriving back to her apartment from her classes, exhausted and ready for bed, Sophie discovered she’d been evicted. That she was locked out. 

Apparently, her landlord, an already shady individual whom Sophie had categorized as a creep from the moment she first laid eyes on him, was heavily in debt and owed a lot in back taxes. Enough that the bank had decided to finally come after him. The building had been confiscated and the bank had declared it was unsafe to live and they all needed to move out ASAP. That it was filled with, as they had said, black mold. Something Sophie had suspected was not true. 

Sure the complex was in need of some serious updating and TLC, but Sophie’s father had worked in real estate and building construction. She knew the signs of black mold and other property condemning issues, and this building’s main problem had always been a water heater that, without fail, would go bust mid-winter. 

“Illegal. All of this is so fucking illegal,” Benedict had muttered furiously as they packed a car with her stuff.

She hadn’t wanted to call him, but the Crabtrees were out of town in Wiltshire, coincidentally helping one of their daughters move properties, and Lucy had gone to Paris for the weekend with her most recent fling. She didn’t know Henry, Lucy’s roommate, well enough to burden him with this, leaving her with no one else to turn to. She’d been left with no other choice but to call Benedict. 

Initially, her plan had just been to have him help her move some of her stuff to her godparents and deal with the rest later, but Benedict had completely taken over the situation once he’d found out what happened and demanded she stay at his place until it was resolved. 

Only, he’d been furious when she explained her situation. 

“They what?” he’d practically yelled the words so loud Sophie was surprised she hadn’t heard his voice echoing in the distance. 

“I’m fine, Benedict, I just need a ride to my godparents—” Sophie had continued explaining.

“I’ll be there in twenty. Do not go anywhere!” Benedict had quickly ordered. The sounds of him rushing to throw his coat being heard in the background. “I’ll take care of this.”

And there was at least one positive to calling Benedict. He'd come with an extra set of hands when he showed up at her apartment building, in the form of his brothers. Who’d come to help her quickly move what she could. It was making the process a hell of a lot quicker. Even if Sophie’s stomach was tightening with discomfort with each passing second. 

“I don’t know Ben,” Simon remarked as he put a box in the trunk next. “Are we even certain it was safe to live here?” 

As he spoke, for some ironic comedic timing one could suppose, a small chunk of red brick slipped out from one of the walls and crumbled to the ground. Right next to the steps where Sophie was sitting, watching them carry her stuff out. It made the old Victorian building look like it was going to tip over and collapse at any second. 

“Isn’t this also a rougher neighborhood in London?” Colin asked, before glancing towards Sophie, who only shrugged back at him.

“The rent was five hundred pounds a month,” she told him simply. “Where else can you live in London for five hundred pounds a month?”

“No notification of possession. No notice of eviction. No offer of fucking compensation. No time to move out! The lawsuit writes itself,” Benedict yelled, continuing on with his rage induced lecture. “They changed the fucking locks while she was at school. Kicked a woman to the curb without a second thought. A woman who’s pregnant I should add!”

He said the last sentence as he whirled on the housing manager, newly assigned to the property and sent by the bank to unlock Sophie’s apartment so she could get her stuff after Benedict had called them threatening legal hellfire if she wasn’t at least able to get, at minimum, her necessities out today. She’d only planned to get her toiletries and shove some spare clothes in her old suitcase, but after Benedict and his brothers showed up, with their brother-in-law, Simon, arriving after them with a couple empty boxes (which had been from his and Daphne’s recent move), they’d been able to get more of Sophie’s things out of the apartment and into their respective cars. 

The poor housing manager awkwardly looked away as he suddenly became the focus of Benedict’s ire. Looking as if he was trying to make himself blend in with the wall. Wanting to be anywhere else but here. 

“The bank was most likely relying on the current tenants not having the money to sue,” Anthony suddenly said to his brother, probably trying to distract him.

Sophie had been surprised to see him when he’d arrived with his brother, given the repeated disinterest he had in helping her, but it did seem as though Anthony wanted to be here as much as she did. Most likely dragged out here by his brother. Or deciding to come out to watch Sophie. He’d, for the most part, barely said a word to her since arriving here. 

“It’s the oldest trick in the book,” Anthony continued on. “They put an emergency condemnation on the place to force everyone out quickly without having to go through an eviction process. Claim the building is too unsafe to live in and then condemn it once everyone is out so no one can move back in. And based on the upkeep this place has had, they won’t have too much difficulty with that.” 

“Benedict, it’s really fine,” Sophie added, not wanting to make this a bigger deal. “I didn’t plan on renewing my lease anyway.” 

While five hundred pounds had been a blessing for her bank account while she’d been in school (and dealing with her stepmother), she’d had no interest in raising a child here. Especially after her landlord upped the leering and creepiness factor by a thousand  after finding out she was pregnant. That had been the final straw to convince her to start looking elsewhere. 

And Benedict had been, before his accident, pressuring her to move as well. He’d never been comfortable with her living here. 

“We will be back Saturday morning for the rest of it,” Benedict told the housing manager, snappishly, as he slammed the trunk shut. 

The housing manager merely nodded back, meekly, no doubt praying for them all to just leave already so he could lock up the building and go home. It was getting late. The sky turned shades of purple and orange as the sun slowly went down. Even Sophie was getting close to falling asleep, exhaustion finally getting the best of her. She just wanted to crawl into bed and eat a bowl of cherry garcia ice cream. The baby had been craving it since noon. 

“The movers will be here at 8am sharp,” Benedict added. “And I’ve already got a storage locker rented.”

“I could have done that myself,” Sophie said gently with a sigh, pushing herself up off the steps to stand. “You really didn’t need to do all of this. I was handling it.”

“Sophie, this is the least I could do. Now please, please, get in the car,” Benedict ordered pleadingly, trying to stay calm and speak gently as he spoke to her. 

Sophie sighed, but got into the back seat of Anthony’s Mercedes without another complaint. After thanking Colin and Simon for coming to help. Both told her it was nothing and not to worry about it, before they told Benedict they’d follow behind in their cars with the additional boxes of Sophie’s stuff to drop off at his place. 

Anthony got in after her, sliding into the driver’s seat and starting up the car. They waited a few seconds, in awkward silence, neither one looking at the other. Well, Sophie didn’t look at him, but she could feel his eyes on hers as he watched her through the rear view mirror. 

“Why didn’t you pick somewhere else?” he asked her suddenly.

“Sorry?” Sophie asked, glancing over and catching his dark eyes in the mirror. 

“You couldn’t live anywhere else? Sure rent’s a nightmare in the city, but there’s student housing. Eloise is in one and it's not too bad nor all that expensive. Housing programs and rooming situations are available too,” Anthony told her, frowning. “I can understand the cheap rent, but a place like this in an area like this. It doesn’t feel all that worth it.”

“I couldn’t afford anything else,” Sophie replied, with a small shrug. 

Araminta had still been in full control of her inheritance when she started at university, and refused to pay for her housing, telling her there wasn’t enough in her account (lie), that her father had left instructions for it to only be for emergencies (lie), and that it wasn’t her responsibility to cover any of Sophie’s care (lie) so Sophie would just have to figure it out on her own. Which she had, getting multiple part time jobs over the years to help her cover the cost of schooling materials and housing. Now that the lawsuit was over, it had been transferred over to the Crabtrees, who’d asked their son-in-law, an accountant, to manage it.

Managed it best he could since Araminta had filed an appeal, meaning the account was frozen once again while they went through another legal process. Sophie still couldn’t afford anything then what she had currently and she’d had no interest in relying on others to help her. In asking the Crabtrees or Lucy for financial aid. She hated handouts. She’d lied to the Crabtrees for years about where she was living and how much it was costing her, just so they wouldn’t offer to help. 

And now she was stuck getting help from the last people on the planet she would want to take money from. 

Anthony’s frown deepened as he continued watching her, but he didn’t say anything else, just looked over and noticed his brother was still berating the housing manager, while Colin and Simon were uncomfortably waiting for him to leave so they could get into their respective cars. So they could all, frankly, just leave.

“Oh for god’s–” Anthony started, exasperated, rolling down the window so he could lean out slightly and yell “Benedict! Get in the car or I’m leaving you here!” 

Even though he looked as if he didn’t want to, that he wasn’t done lecturing the housing manager about tenant rights, Benedict sighed and finally came over and got into the car, sliding into the front passenger seat and strapping the seat belt in. Once they were all buckled in, Anthony moved the car out of its spot and began driving down the road. 

“You didn’t need to do all of this,” Sophie said after a few minutes of silence. “I’m sorry I had to bother you all.”

“It’s really fine, Sophie,” Benedict assured her. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Still, I’m sure you were all busy.”

“They wanted to help. Right Anthony?”

Anthony, pointedly, did not say anything. Just continued focusing on the road ahead as he drove them to Benedict’s apartment. Which did nothing to help relieve Sophie’s stress. 

“I’ll pay you back for this,” she then added. 

“You really don’t need to,” was Benedict’s response, as he glared at his brother for not backing him up on reassuring Sophie. 

“I can at least pay rent.”

“Sophie, I own my apartment.”

“I know, but I should still at least contribute to something,” Sophie argued, getting annoyed now. “I can pay for amenities. Or groceries.”

Benedict let out a sigh. “It’s really fine.”

“I seriously feel like I should be doing something, since you are being courteous enough to let me stay with you,” she replied, continuing to argue her point. 

“Courteous?” Benedict whipped around in his seat now to face her, also looking annoyed. “Sophie, you’re pregnant. You’re carrying my son. Did you really think I would let you just sleep on the street tonight?”

“I could have gone to my godparents,” she shot back. “I told you that was my plan.”

“You were just going to carry all your stuff to their place, without aid, four months pregnant and with no car?” Benedict then asked her. 

Sophie almost rolled her eyes at that. “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m an invalid. Nor does it mean I should be mooching off of you inst–”

“Mooching!”

“I said what I said, Benedict.”

“Why are you being so stubborn?”

“I don’t think I’m being stubborn. I think you're being unreasonable.”

“Unreasonable?!”

“Yes!”

“Alright, that’s it. You are not going to pay for anything! For the rest of the pregnancy! And that’s final!”

“That’s not fair!” 

“Why do you need to–!”

“Oh for god’s sake just let her pay for groceries!” Anthony snapped, suddenly and loudly, interrupting their argument. 

Both Sophie and Benedict stopped, taken aback. Looking over at Anthony with wide eyes. Shocked by his sudden declaration. And now all of them were stuck awkwardly sitting in his car as an unprompted silence filled it. Unsure what to say. 

And Anthony, realizing he may have spoken out of turn, took a deep breath, loosening his tight grip on the steering wheel. 

“You never buy them anyway. Your fridge is almost always empty,” he told his brother, calmer this time. “If she wants to pay for something then let her have that.” 

Benedict opened his mouth to argue, but found he had no reasonable defense. His brother was right. He never had food in his fridge. He only ever bought the bare necessities, like milk, eggs, and beer. His mother had repeatedly lectured him about not being in university anymore and that he needed to actually take care of himself but Benedict never found a point to it. He usually ate take out or went out for dinner. One, because he was almost always at work late so he’d just grab something to go and eat at the office (or be out to dinner with family or clients), and two, because he’d always hated cooking.

“Fine,” Benedict finally said, rather disgruntled. 

Behind them, in the backseat, Sophie couldn’t help but beam. Now happy (and relieved) that she was able to somehow pay him back for the housing he was giving her. Groceries were easy. Sophie was a budgeting whizz and learned not only how to make food last but also how to make delicious meals for cheap. Maybe she could help pay this back to Benedict by cooking for him. She had done it a few times back when they’d been dating. And Benedict had always said he liked her cooking. It was the perfect solution. 

Now she just had to deal with the other lingering problem.

Temporarily cohabitation with Benedict. 

While pregnant.

Should be fine. Right? 

—

“Take care, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that, Benedict shut the front door to his apartment, after some quick goodbyes to his brothers. All of the boxes, what they had been able to get from Sophie’s apartment, were sitting in his unused dining room. And with the awkward silence quickly filling the apartment, Sophie needed an escape.

“I can get a storage unit. I’ll go through them as well. See if there is anything I can toss,” she explained, moving towards the hastily packed boxes.

“Don’t worry about them,” Benedict assured her. “We’ll deal with them in the morning. You need to get some rest. It’s late.”

Sophie was about to argue before, begrudgingly, deciding against it. She was too tired to argue with him any longer. Her limbs and muscles now felt weighed down, like she was wrapped in heavy, iron chains, as she even struggled to hold back a yawn. Only proving Benedict’s point.

“Let me show you to the guest room,” he said, stepping towards her.

“I know where it is,” she replied offhandedly, with a dismissive wave. 

Benedict blinked. “Oh!” he said, before looking away, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck as he awkwardly added. “Right.”

Which was when Sophie realized she hadn’t been in Benedict’s apartment since the day he’d woken up from his coma. When she’d met Violet and Anthony for the first time. And that, from his perspective, she’d never been here before. He didn’t remember her ever being here before now. 

God, could she be any more unaware? Inconsiderate? 

“Um…let me just…grab my stuff,” she quickly said, grabbing the suitcase that had her toiletries and clothes in it so that she could flee to the guest room.

“I can help–” Benedict started, reaching down to grab the bag for her. 

“No, no–” she assured, cutting in while she too moved to grab the suitcase. Before he could. 

And collided their foreheads with one another. 

Sophie cringed back quickly, her head now throbbing from where it impacted with his. “Ow.”

“You okay?” Benedict asked, rubbing right below the crescent shaped scar on his forehead. 

“Yeah,” Sophie replied, still cringing back in pain. 

“Um…I’ll just grab that,” Benedict then said after an awkward moment of silence, reaching out and grabbing her duffel bag before she had a chance to take it herself. 

Sophie moved to tell him not to, before relenting, finding it pointless to argue. She simply followed him to the guest room, located conveniently next to the master bedroom. 

It looked the same as it had the last time she’d been in it. A modern style open room concept, matching in color with the rest of the apartment, with a large queen in the middle of the room and a walk-in closet next to the en suite bathroom with dark marble floors and matching counter tops. 

“Make yourself at home,” Benedict told her as he deposited her bags by the bed. “You know where the bathroom is. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thank you again. For all of this,” Sophie repeated. “I swear I’ll be out of your hair in–”

Benedict sighed. “It’s really fine. You can stay as long as you need.” 

He sounded exhausted, so Sophie didn’t push it. Chewing her lower lip nervously, she tried not to meet his eyes. Something she’d struggled with these past few months.

Which was strange, and hard, since they’d been so close before. So comfortable around one another. They used to be able to finish each other’s sentences. As cliche as that sounded. But they’d been like little two puzzle pieces fitting in perfectly together. Everything had always been so simple and easy.

And now?

Well, the vast, awkward silence that had followed them since Benedict’s accident was still rather hard to get over.

“Good night,” Benedict finally told her as he turned to leave, not knowing what else to say.

“Right. Night,” she replied politely, watching him quietly leave.

And once he’d disappeared out into the hallway, Sophie sighed. Letting her shoulders slump in defeat. This had not been how she’d expected things to go. 

She should have said something about the awkwardness. About the distance. Tried to throw a rope over the expanding gorge growing larger between them with every passing day. 

That, and Marilla was going to be so upset when she found out. 

Chapter Text

She was still in Benedict’s apartment. 

That had been the first thought to enter her mind each morning for the past weekend. When she woke up and found herself laying in the guest bed of Benedict’s apartment. From groggy, slow building self awareness to instant alertness, Sophie would suddenly be reminded of her surroundings in seconds. Her hazy, sleep-addled brain snapping to attention as she remembered whose guest bed she’d fallen asleep in. 

She still couldn’t believe she was here. Being in Benedict’s home. Staying with him.

Temporarily. This was only a temporary situation. She’d start looking for a new place as soon as she could. It had been hectic this past weekend, getting what remained from her old apartment and into a storage unit Benedict was paying for (for better or worse), but she was going to start looking. 

Still, he’d just opened his home up to her, without even hesitating. 

But that was Benedict she supposed. Supportive might as well be his middle name. He was always looking out for everything, friends and family. Always willing to drop what he was doing to help others. Always doing what he could to help. 

Only that desire to be helpful meant she was now in an enclosed space with him. It wasn’t like she was trapped here with him. She could leave whenever she wanted, her options of living elsewhere were just limited. For now. She’d figure out a new living situation soon enough. While dealing with her current one.

And she had no idea how she would explain this to Marilla.

Sighing, Sophie ran a hand over her face as she rolled onto her side, reaching out to grab her phone from where it was charging on the side table next to her bed. Her eyes immediately snapped to the numbers revealed on the screen when the phone switched off. 

9:40 AM. 

“Shit!” she exclaimed and practically fell out of the bed as she attempted to throw herself out of the bed and to her feet. 

Her Monday morning class started in twenty minutes. She was so late right now.

And they had group presentations today!  

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Sophie cursed rapidly, as she flew across the room and to the en suite bathroom.

Rushing in across the warm tiled floor, Sophie breezed through her morning routine. Brushed her hair, then her teeth, quickly throwing on some deodorant as she forewent make up for the day. There wasn’t enough time. Not right now anyway. Throwing her hair into a nice pony tail for now as she rushed back into the bedroom, grabbing the first nice shirt and pair of pants she could find from her duffel to put on, racing against the clock as she did. 

She stumbled out of the guest room, her phone between her teeth as she tried to pull her socks over her feet while still standing, and stumbled, recklessly straight into the wall. Slamming her shoulder into it. 

“Ow,” she hissed through gritted teeth, around the phone in her mouth. 

“Sophie?” Benedict’s voice called out from down the hallway. “You okay?”

“Uh-huh!” Sophie said back loudly, only for the weight of her phone to finally cause it to slip from her teeth and clatter to the ground. “Damn it!”

“Sophie?” Benedict said again, sounding more concerned. 

Footsteps now followed after he spoke as he headed out of the kitchen and towards where she was, while Sophie kept making her way towards the front door. And the two of them met in the living room, Sophie almost barreling into him as she ran around trying to grab all of her stuff. 

“Hold this,” she ordered, shoving her phone into his hand. 

“What’s going on? Are you alright?” Benedict asked her, concerned. Pale eyes going wide. 

“I’m late,” she squealed back, quickly throwing on her shoes and coat. Where the hell was her bag? Where had it gone!?

Dining room! Right. Benedict and his brothers had put all of her stuff in there. Including her second hand, faded teal colored backpack that she used for school. All of her supplies, her notebook and ancient laptop, pens and pens, tucked inside. 

Rushing into the dining room that still held boxes of her stuff on and around the large, mahogany dining table, Sophie found said backpack resting against one of the chair legs. Throwing it over her shoulder before racing back into the living room. Now in search of her phone. Where the fuck had she left it? 

“Don’t you think you should eat something before you go?” Benedict asked next, watching her zoom around his apartment in a manner similar to a headless chicken, in bewildered disbelief. 

“Can’t. Gonna be late. Presentation today. Grab something after,” Sophie gasped out as she searched high and low, under the couch and around the countertops. “Where the hell is my phone?”

“In my hand,” Benedict told her calmly, still holding out his hand in front of him, the one she’d shoved her phone into. 

“Thank you!” she said with a relieved sigh as she snatched the phone from him. 

“You know you need a key to the place? And you're pregnant, Sophie, you really need to sit down and eat—” Benedict started.

“Lucy probably got me something. She always does, but I really do need to go,” she quickly interrupted, brain still going a mile a minute. “I’ll see you later!”

Then she pushed up onto her tippy toes, her old sneakers squeaking on the hardwood, and kissed him. Straight on the mouth. Just like she used to, but with a bit more pressure given her haste. Before saying one quick, final goodbye over her shoulder and rushing out the front door. Leaving a poor, stunned and dumbfounded Benedict in her wake. 

And she immediately stopped dead in her tracks. The door slammed shut behind her. 

Did she just…did she just kiss Benedict?

On the mouth?

Sophie blinked. What the…actual hell had she been thinking? Doing something like that? Had she lost her mind?

Muscle memory must have taken over in her panic. Pregnancy brain making her lose IQ points. 

Hearing the doorknob turning behind her, realizing Benedict was now coming out to follow her, ignited the fire under her ass again. Sophie practically fled down the hallway and into the elevator, rushing out of the apartment in her haste to not only get to class but to put as much distance between her and Benedict as quickly as possible. 

Why the fuck had she just done that?

—

“You should be so grateful you have me as a friend,” Lucy told her as she delicately brushed the mascara brush over Sophie’s eyelashes. She’d already been at her brows, while they waited in the hallway outside their classroom for their turn at presenting, and Sophie knew she’d be at her face next with lip gloss. 

She also knew she’d gotten here just in time, arriving to find her group waiting for her outside the room, going over the presentation and their roles for the final time. Lucy let out a relieved breath when she saw her rushing down the hall, knowing they were saved from ruin by Sophie’s appearance. And Lucy had also quickly gotten to work at fixing her make up (or lack of it) while Sophie inhaled the protein bar she shoved in her hand. 

Her mind was still racing though. Had the whole way here. She was still mortified. Her face still felt like it was burning. She couldn’t believe she’d just done that. Kissed Benedict flat on the mouth.

“Are you alright?” Lucy asked, pausing, finally noticing the concerned frown Sophie had on her face. “You’re not stressing about the presentation are you? Cause I know you of all people will have it in this bag.”

“I just did something stupid.”

“What did you do?”

“It’s nothing. It’s fine.”

Lucy let out an exasperated sigh. “Sophia Maria Soo-ae–”

“I just–” Seeing the door opening behind them, their professor leaning out and motioning them to come in, silently saying that it was their turn to present, Sophie saw an excuse. “I will tell you later,” she then told her friend, pushing her towards the room. Following their group partners in. 

“I’m holding you to that,” Lucy told her over her shoulder. And she did. 

They went out for coffee afterwards. With their presentation being exceptionally well received by the lecturer, Lucy had decided coffee was on her. Well, tea for Sophie and coffee for Lucy. Sophie was, regrettably, on a reduced caffeine diet for the next few months, much to her anguish. Lucy refused to indulge, Marilla constantly reminded her not to and Benedict had given it up in solidarity, after hearing from his sister about the health concerns and learning that Sophie was a caffeine addict. But it was just until the baby was born. 

She and Lucy still went to their usual spot, a cafe close to the university, where they would spend most of the morning studying and completing classwork before Lucy headed off to her internship and Sophie to her afternoon. Her friend was only taking one summer class, while Sophie had three scheduled. 

“You’re distracted. Have been all morning. Now tell me what happened?” Lucy finally asked, giving her a serious look, after studying her silently for the past ten minutes as they chatted. 

Sophie paused, a tea cup filled with hot, lemon and ginger tea pressed against her lips as she was about to take a sip. She quickly put it down on the table as she began to formulate an excuse.

“N-nothing,” was her even quicker response.

“You sure? Because I recall you telling me earlier about doing something utterly stupid this morning.”

“It’s nothing!” 

Lucy only raised a sharp brow. “Sophie.”

“I um…” She took a deep breath, suppressing a groan, although deep down she needed to tell someone. Trying to find the words, she finally said. “I kissed Benedict.”

Her friend’s dark eyes widened in slow, gleeful surprise and she gasped, excitedly. “You made out with Baby Daddy?!”

“No!” Sophie shot at her, almost defensive. “It was…more like a peck. On the lips. And don’t call him Baby Daddy. He has a name.”

Lucy only rolled her eyes. “Alright, so you made out with Benedict–” When she saw Sophie open her mouth to correct her she added. “You pecked him on the lips, yes?” 

“I don’t know what I was doing. I just was in a rush and I…well, I pecked him while I was saying goodbye,” Sophie told her with a shrug.

“Like a chicken?” her friend asked humorously.

“Lucy–” she replied back. A warning. 

To which Lucy only waved her off, still smiling. “Whatever. More important questions need answering, what do you mean in a rush to say goodbye?” she asked, leaning in closer. Smile widening. “Were you with him? This morning!?” 

Sophie quickly realized the hole she was digging herself into. A hole she was not going to be able to easily dig her way out of. 

“Sophia Maria,” Lucy said with a dramatic gasp, sharp eyes brimming with pride. 

“I may be um…I’m may…being staying with Benedict. Currently,” she explained hesitantly, before telling her friend the whole story of Friday’s disaster. What happened when she arrived home after classes and found herself locked out. What happened after she was forced to call Benedict for help. Even Lucy had been furious with what her landlord had done, but the anger had faded back to excitement as she realized Sophie was now living with Benedict temporarily. 

“Which is why I would be very grateful if I can stay with you for a few days,” she then tentatively asked at the end of her explanation. “Just while I–”

“Oh no, you are not using me as an excuse to get out of this,” her friend told her quickly, interrupting her. “You and Baby Daddy need to hash out whatever this is that’s going on between you.”

“Hash out what? The four years of memory loss? The fact that he didn’t know who I was or remember our relationship?” Sophie pointed out, brow raised. 

Lucy scoffed. “A man who still has shown up for every doctor’s visit. A man who as far as I can tell has made it very clear he wants to take care of you and my little godson. From what you have told me, it sounds like he’s very serious about trying to get to know you. Again.” 

A statement to which Sophie purposefully looked away, making sure not to catch Lucy’s hawkish eyes. She did not want to admit, or let on in anyway, that her friend was correct. 

Benedict had been trying. Trying to get to know her. Again as Lucy had put it. It was just that his schedule had been overtaken by his injuries and the physical therapy. And it wasn’t like Sophie was making an effort of her own to be around him. Things just felt too complicated and risky for her. He’d disappeared on her once without a word, and while there was a reason for it, she didn’t know if it would happen again. This time for real. 

And he’d never mentioned her to his family. Something Sophie had learned when she first met his older brother and mother. They’d both seem completely unaware of her, and it had become quickly apparent that not one of the Bridgertons seemed to know of her existence. Benedict had never mentioned her and, after dating for a year, it had left Sophie confused. Hurt. 

“And you still have the hots for him right?” Lucy asked suddenly. 

“And what of it?” Sophie almost snapped, annoyed, before realizing she’d spoken out of turn. Her cheeks began to burn hotly once more, but that only made her friend burst out into laughter. 

“Oh, you are down bad for this one, aren’t you?” she said with a sly smile.

Now it was Sophie’s turn to scoff. “We were dating before all of this happened. Seriously too.”

“And yet, you’ve barely spoken since,” her friend pointed out. 

“He’s been busy,” was her argument back. And excuse.

“And you’ve been distant,” Lucy said. A correction. “He got hurt, forgot who you were and abandoned you–only momentarily, so you pulled back. I know you have. You feel burned. Got scared. And I know you do this when you're scared.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side. You’re my friend. Not Benedict’s,” Sophie pointed out. Annoyed that her friend was reading her so well, jabbing at each one of her worries and insecurity like she was pushing the buttons in an elevator. 

“Because I want you to be happy and I know little old, Baby Daddy Benedict makes you happy,” Lucy told her. “Seriously, Soph. You were so happy.”

Taking another sip of her tea, Sophie held back her sigh. Regrettably, Lucy was right. Again. 

“You need to talk to him,” she then said, as if reading her mind. “If not for both your sakes, then at least for the baby’s.”

Months ago, before the accident, she’d been happy with Benedict. Sophie wasn’t sure she’d ever been happier in her life. There hadn’t been a time or a person before that had made her as happy as Benedict had. 

She just wasn’t sure where to go from here. Maybe it was a lifetime of being belittled and made small, but Sophie was not one for confrontation. Difficult conversations were a tricky one for her, especially when she couldn’t figure out what the result would be. What emotions would come out. 

She could only hope Benedict’s day hadn’t been too greatly affected by all of this. 

—

For his second full week back at work, Benedict wasn’t doing a lot of working. 

At least everyone around him was believing the story Agatha had conceived and sent around, that Benedict’s broken leg was the result of a small accident while traveling out to Kent with his family. The reason for his sudden sabbatical. The memory loss was being kept under strict wraps, along with the hit and run, but the broken leg and crutches were a little hard to explain away. 

And Benedict was growing tired of sitting around at home doing nothing. Especially since his family was constantly monitoring him 24/7. He had begun to go a little stir crazy. He loved his family, dearly, but he needed some space from them. He needed things to go back to how they were before. 

He needed to figure things out with Sophie. Especially after this morning. 

He could still feel them. Her lips. How soft they’d been. How almost delicate they were. Could taste the cherry flavored chapstick she wore. Still feel the electricity, how his lips tingled after she pulled away, like a static shock had gone through him by the mere touch of her. 

And it had set something off in him. A craving. Something clicked in him, a deep vast hunger opening like a broken dam, and he suddenly needed more. After all, he had gone after her. Tried to catch up with her and kiss her again, just to confirm the electric feeling had been real and not all in his head, but she’d already disappeared out of the complex. As if she’d somehow teleported to her classes. 

With Benedict struggling to figure out what to do now. 

Should he talk to her about it? The kiss. 

But Sophie seemed to pull away every time he tried to get to know her, tried to discuss their romance, like she was some novice bomb technician and he was a landmine already set to go. It bothered Benedict to no end. Like an itch he couldn’t scratch, he just wanted to resolve it. But his busy schedule of doctor appointment, family time, physical therapy, family time, sleep, eat, family time, and then more family time before the schedule repeated itself didn’t make it easier for him to try. 

And then there was Anthony. 

It didn’t help that his dear brother had almost ruined things for him by demanding paternity be proven. He loved his brother, he did. But Benedict knew Anthony had a track record of overstepping when it came to his siblings’ lives. And Benedict’s was one whose life his dear brother tended to involve himself in far too often.

He should have stepped in. Put his foot down and told his brother to back off after he saw their solicitor enter the room, but even he had had a momentary lapse in judgement. In trust. 

The past four years of his life were gone, every time he tried to recall them he got nothing but blank emptiness, like a whiteboard wiped clean, and that included Sophie. 

Which made waking up to the news he’d been dating someone for an entire year and she was now pregnant hard to…well, he wouldn’t lie that for a brief moment he worried it wasn’t true. 

Only, there was something about Sophie. A sense of deja vu he felt whenever he was around her. The moment he met her (for the second time) at the hospital, a thrill had run through him. The hairs on the back of his neck had stood up before she’d even entered the room, like his body had sensed her arrival before his mind, and the moment he saw her it was like everything just fell into place. All the worries and anxieties he’d had the past few days, after waking with a hole of missing time in his head, vanished. 

He wanted to ask her if that had happened the first time they met. Wanted to know if she’d felt it took. 

And she’d been prettier than her pictures. As crazy as that sounded. The camera just didn’t do her justice. It wasn't capable of capturing her beauty. How she just glowed. Silky smooth, inky black hair flowing past her shoulders. High cheekbones to match her sharp features that still held some softness in them, making her look almost fairy-like. 

How they had even come to meet, Benedict didn’t know, but he wanted to. Desperately. 

Fingers suddenly snapped in front of his eyes, taking Benedict’s focus from thinking about Sophie and back to reality. To Anthony, leaning forward in front of him from where he was sitting on his right. Having been speaking to him for the past ten minutes before realizing Benedict hadn’t heard a word he’d said. 

“Seriously? Are you sure we don’t need to get your brain scanned again, brother?” he asked him, exasperated. 

Benedict merely batted his brother’s hand away. “What?” he asked, annoyed. 

“I was asking you about the Parker divorce case. If you still need Kate to cover for you?” Anthony told him. “It’s almost over. And she said she didn’t mind handling the final parts.”

He had no idea who or what case his brother was talking about. No doubt the case was a more recent one he’d been handling. And he didn’t feel like it was worth making an ass out of himself when he’d only just got back to work. The only reason he didn’t feel completely incompetent being back at work was because he’d spent practically all of his spare time during secondary school and university helping his father and brother out at Bridgebury Counsel.

“Yeah, if she wouldn’t mind. That would be great” Benedict answered with an exhausted breath.

“Are you feeling alright?” Anthony then asked, sitting up slightly, brow raised, looking worried. 

Benedict sighed. “I’m fine. Just thinking about everything I need to handle now that I’m back.”

“Don’t worry about it too much. Just take it slow,” his brother assured him, looking relieved now. “Agatha’s already shifted things around to the others so you’d have a lighter load, and Kate and I will take care of the rest. Just be glad you retained enough knowledge to keep working.”

He said that last part in a teasing tone with a light chuckle as he leaned back in the roller chair. They were sitting in the conference room, waiting for the others to arrive. 

“Be grateful you have me,” Benedict shot smugly at him.

“I will always be grateful for that,” his brother replied, a serious and tense edge to his voice. 

Benedict looked away, knowing if he caught his brother’s eyes he’d see the lingering fear and anxiety, the joy and relief. 

Their relationship had changed since the accident. Granted, Benedict and his brother had always been close, given they were the oldest two and close in age, things felt different. Usually, Benedict was at the mercy of his older brother’s whims and wishes. Always available for his brother to vent to and always running around after him like a pack mule, helping to carry the weight of being the head of the family. 

And sometimes it felt like Anthony was running his life, telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing with it. It had felt like that since Anthony shot down Benedict’s wishes to go to art school. Telling him the firm was more important than a hobby. But even then, Anthony was either surprised Benedict was capable of being a professional adult or pissed that he couldn’t do something simple, like file his hours properly. Either Benedict was a juvenile or supposed to be as good at all of this as Anthony was.

Which was something he’d always felt inept at. 

But lately it felt different. Off. 

Maybe it was because Benedict had had to rely on his brother for help more than the other way round, but it felt like they’d gotten somehow closer. Sure he’d told his brother to piss off a few times, that he was hovering too much or that he needed to stay in his fucking lane and stop telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing with Sophie like seriously Jesus H. Christ it was getting–

No. No, he wasn’t going to think about that right now. 

Anthony seemed different lately. Maybe it was the four years of time missing, his brother could have matured since then, or his old brother had finally gotten a reality check. Something Benedict hoped wasn’t the case and hoped wasn’t his fault. Anthony had been present when their father had died, and he knew his older brother carried that grief like he was a modern day Atlas. It had bothered Benedict a lot, not just the burden his brother believed he needed to carry, but the stress and pain he’d put on his family by nearly dying. 

Still, Anthony hadn't seemed like himself for the past few months. Making Benedict give his brother a small, reassuring smile, gently and silently telling him he was still here. That he wasn’t going anywhere, and allowing them a calm, tender, brotherly moment.

For about five seconds. 

But, enough of that. Clearing his throat, Benedict sat up a little more in his chair, returning to the topic at hand. Work. 

“Anything else I need to be worried about?” he asked, wanting to move the conversation away to more neutral territory.

“There is the issue of your new secretary that we need to resolve,” was Anthony’s reply, also not wanting to have a chat about emotions and near death minutes before the privacy would be ripped away by their colleagues entering the room. 

Right, his secretary. His previous one, a lovely older woman named Jean, had resigned. Put her two weeks notice a month before his accident. It wasn’t anything Benedict had done, Jean had just decided to retire early. Take a part time job instead so she could stay at home and care for her new grandchild. And with Benedict’s hit and run, the matter of filling the position had been temporarily neglected and delayed. 

But now that he was back that position would need to be filled. And by someone who could be discreet. 

“You could try speaking to Rosamund,” Anthony suggested, offhandedly. “I know she said she was looking for work. That she’s been a receptionist before.”

Benedict only hummed a non-response back. His brother was right. Rosamund was an option. And it was a way for him to say ‘thank you’ for saving his life. 

Maybe he’d reach out and get her resume. They hadn’t spoken much since he was discharged and he still felt like he owed–

“Ah, well, this is a first,” came the sudden voice of Kate as she walked in. “Never thought I’d see the day you two were early to a meeting.”

Benedict chucked lightly, watching as Kate came around the table to sit on his other side. “Thought it best to be marked present and on time by dear old Headmistress given it's my first day back.”

Kate laughed. “How are you feeling?” she then asked with a simple, fond smile as she took her seat. 

“Good, good,” Benedict replied, swiveling lightly side to side in his chair. 

Benedict liked Kate. He unfortunately couldn’t remember their friendship or how they met, but he’d quickly taken a liking to her. Especially after watching her lambast his brother. It was refreshing. Watching someone go toe to toe with his brother and win. And Kate, thankfully, liked him. She was professional and courteous, but also kind and supportive, checking in when needed but also giving Benedict some needed space. He could see why they’d become friends after she’d started at Bridgebury. 

As they chatted, more of the other partners arrived after Kate and took their seats around the long conference table.

Anthony tapped his arm and leaned over. “We’ll chat later about it,” he said quietly as the noise in the room slowly amped up. 

“Chat about what?” Kate inquired, intrigued, but neither one of them had the chance to answer. 

“Good morning, ladies and gentleman,” Agatha announced loudly as she entered the room. They quickly all quieted as she took her seat, saying their good mornings back and ending his conversation with Kate.

Benedict sighed as he relaxed back into his chair. He’d hoped to ask for Kate’s opinion on the matter, on Rosamund but he guessed it would have to wait. As the meeting got started, his mind slowly wandered back to this morning's unexpected kiss. He couldn’t help it. He barely understood half of what Agatha was talking about to begin with and the result was him zoning out in boredom. His mind went back to trying to figure out a possible solution to the situation Sophie had put him in. It was going to be incredibly awkward once he got back to the apartment. As if it wasn’t already. 

Not to mention the guilt he’d felt gnawing at his stomach, like he’d done something wrong. Had he? He couldn’t really tell with Sophie. She wasn’t all that easy to read. But she also barely communicated with him past polite small talk. 

Agatha continued to go through each point of the meeting notes, discussing current cases and upcoming ones, along with the charity gala planned for later in the year, and any challenges that may arise (minus Benedict’s memory loss). All while Benedict sat quietly in his seat, staring ahead. Lost in thought.

“I’m also thinking about some policy changes, regarding office romances,” she then announced unexpectedly.

With Benedict barely reacting as he hadn’t even heard what she said, and barely even noticing how, on either side of him, Kate and Anthony had both stiffened in place, suddenly frozen in their seats. Eyes snapping towards each other as they made eye contact behind Benedict’s head. 

“It’s high time we all recognize the importance of having a functioning, professional workplace,” Agatha continued. “We are one of the best law firms in the city. In the county. And to have this place reduced to some scandalous, daytime soap? It’s unacceptable!” 

Anthony and Kate were both struggling to make eye contact with their boss, to even look in her direction. Instead, they were both staring down at the papers in front of them, trying to make themselves unnoticeable. 

But between them, Benedict was frowning. Now that he thought about it, why should he be feeling guilty for the kiss? He enjoyed it. There was nothing wrong with that. 

“We must remember the reason we are all working here and if that means implementing rules to prevent these children from wasting their work days fornicating in office supply closets, then we must do what is necessary," Agatha then said. 

The word ‘fornicating’ had Kate slowly sinking further into her seat, trying to stop herself from cringing. Hoping she could disappear from view unnoticed. The interns had unfortunately taken the fall for her and Anthony’s little “cardio” session last week, and only by mere chance. It was pure coincidence they’d used the same supply closet for their make-out session after Kate and Anthony had already gone to town inside. 

Thankfully, the young, unlucky interns had only been chastised for it, and not fired, but since then, Agatha had been on a war path. 

Something Benedict wasn’t fully aware of given his reduced hours and time away from the office. Frankly, he was completely out of the loop on Kate and Anthony’s current relationship. And with him still focused on resolving his issues with Sophie, he wasn’t entirely present right now to realize how tense his brother and colleague had become. 

Now that he thought about it further, she was the one who kissed him. Then she just left! Just took off. Fled from his sight without a single explanation for her behavior. Not even a text message. 

“What happened last week between the interns was–” Agatha started. 

Making him feel like an utter fool. It was–

“Completely out of line,” Benedict muttered aloud, annoyed. Shaking his head.

Across the table, Agatha paused mid speech, eyes snapping towards Benedict as she was momentarily taken aback by his comment. Initially only blinking back at him in surprise, her frown soon shifted to a smile. Agatha looked on at him fondly, impressed. Almost proud.

“Exactly what I thought! You took the words right out of my mouth Benedict,” she remarked, glad to see someone was taking the workplace seriously. 

Next to him, Anthony’s head snapped towards his brother as he glared at him. Giving him a look of stunned betrayal that Benedict barely even noticed. Meanwhile, on the other side of him, Kate’s face was burning hard enough it was about to melt off from the mortification she was feeling. Benedict merely blinked towards Agatha, like a deer in headlights, not realizing he’d spoken aloud and that it had been, worse, overheard. 

“Oh, um…right,” he remarked, looking at his boss. He wasn’t entirely sure what she’d been talking about, but since she wasn’t angry he could just play a long. “Glad to be of help.”

Agatha only nodded, still looking at him proudly, before turning back to the meeting, discussing the final points and the goals needing to be completed before the next one. 

He really needed to figure things out with Sophie. And fast. He couldn't work like this.