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"So for all you cowards out there talking shit.....talking about taking a run at me? Hear this now and hear it plain. I own the night."
Louis let the statement resound throughout the silence of the penthouse. He let the strength and determination flow through his veins, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips as he felt for the weight that had threatened to drown him for the last several decades.
It wasn't there. The only thing Louis felt was peace for the first time in a long time, smirking when he also realized all the voices were silenced. It was only the whimpering intake of breath behind him that pulled him from his reverie.
He turned to find Lestat in the doorway, already dressed for bed and anxiously twisting the hem of his robe with trembling hands. There were tears in his eyes, and his lips were trying and failing to form words.
"Lestat?" Louis was up and moving to his side, gently taking his face in his hands to wipe the lining of tears with his thumbs before they could stain Lestat's cheeks.
"What is it?"
"You—" Lestat's voice broke, the hoarse crack like an arrow through Louis' heart, "you told them where you are."
Lestat was almost hyperventilating, his face twisted in pain and the worry creased across his furrowed brow.
"Oh," Louis gave a fond chuckle as he smiled at Lestat, bringing his hands down to gently clasp Lestat's shaking shoulders. "Is that all? Baby, they've been threatening for weeks and I'm still perfectly fine. They're shit-talking cowards. They won't hurt me."
He took Lestat's hand to lead him out of the room and down the hallway into the bedroom, keeping his hand on Lestat's low back for support.
"But Louis," Lestat stammered as more tears came, "there are so many voices. If they decide it.....they could try to destroy you! They'd laugh as they painted the walls with your blood! Over my dead body, Louis! I won't let them harm you!"
"Hey," Louis gently soothed as he ushered Lestat into the bedroom, "it's okay, baby. They wouldn't dare. You're getting all worked up for nothing."
"Louis," Lestat whimpered in a hitching breath as Louis guided him to the bed and sat him down on the side to remove his robe, "I can't.....can't have anything ever happen to you."
He reached up to worshipfully hold Louis' face, looking at him in love and devotion, and Louis knowingly ducked his head in profound modesty with a soft smile.
"I know. I'm here, Lestat," he settled for saying instead of voicing what was really in his heart. "I'm not leaving your side."
Lestat nodded with a shudder, his eyes closing as he tried to regulate his labored breathing. Louis leaned down to kiss his forehead, pushing Lestat's unruly hair back from his temples and sweetly tucking it behind his ears while Lestat just stared at him in wonder. He helped Lestat into the bed, tucking him in and covering him with the blankets.
He gave Lestat a reverent kiss on the cheek before moving away to quickly change into his own pajamas, but he kept his eye on Lestat, not missing the way Lestat was still visibly distraught and trembling as he turned onto his side, facing Louis' side of the bed and curling into a fetal position. Louis quickly finished dressing and made his way to the bed to crawl in.
Lestat opened his arms and Louis happily snuggled into them, tucking his back to Lestat's chest as he felt Lestat protectively curling his entire body around Louis to spoon him and clinging to him with a shivering sigh. Louis pulled his feet up to tuck them in-between the warmth of Lestat's calves, and Lestat linked their arms together, his hand moving tenderly over Louis' chest, pushing inside his shirt and searching for the balm to his soul.
Louis knew what he wanted, and he took Lestat's hand to guide it to his heartbeat. That is how they've slept every night since reuniting. Snuggled in each other's arms with Lestat either holding his heartbeat or sleeping against his heartbeat.
Lestat immediately calmed when he felt it, nuzzling his cheek into Louis' cheek with a kiss to his temple.
"I will always protect you, Louis. I would lay down my life for you," Lestat whispered after a moment.
"I know."
"I love you, Louis."
And the words were caught in Louis' throat like the static heat before a storm. He could threaten the assholes cursing his existence, but he couldn't utter those sacred words to the man curled around him who loves him and treasures him beyond measure.
Louis only nodded as he burrowed himself further into Lestat's comforting embrace, every tender kiss Lestat pressed into his neck lacing through his veins with needle-point precision of overwhelming love and crippling shame.
———
"I miss you," Louis purrs into the phone, grinning when he hears Lestat's warm laugh in response.
"You say it so easily," Lestat answers with a gleeful smirk, and Louis' heart does a somersault.
"Cause it's true. I hate missing your shows, but this meeting was important."
Louis rolls over on the bed of his New York hotel suite and props the phone against a pillow so he can better see Lestat through the FaceTime call.
"Any trouble with them?" Lestat asks, his teasing tone growing serious.
"No," Louis smiles. "Mere mortals are no threat. All they need now is your signature and Rue Royale will officially be ours again."
"After the tour finishes, we'll go home, Louis. We'll start over.....in our home, and I'll refurnish the entire house for you. Just like it was. I'll put your books out for you. Where you can reach them—" Lestat's voice breaks, his eyes misting with emotional tears.
"Do you promise?" Louis whispers as he watches the love dance across Lestat's tired face.
"You know I do. We'll deal with all of it. We'll begin again. Live honestly. Get married for real this time.....don't cry, mon cher."
"Can't help it," Louis rasps out, hastily wiping his tears with his shirt, "when you talk like that.....promising me the moon—"
"I'm serious, Louis," Lestat tenderly interjects.
"I know you are, but when you talk like that, you scare me."
"Scare you?" Lestat asks in pained confusion.
"Not like that," Louis quickly assures him. "I meant I want eternity with you, Lestat. I want the nights in front of us. Together."
"Please don't cry, Louis—"
"I told you I can't help it," Louis gives a soft laugh as he beams at Lestat despite the tears. "I want our future. I'm just terrified of something taking it away from us."
"Louis," Lestat sighs with a shake of his head, "I promise you. No force in existence could tear me away from your side. We will have our life together. I will do everything in my power to make it happen."
"I know you will."
"I miss you too, by the way," Lestat tells him with a soft smile.
"I'll be back soon enough. My flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow as soon as the sun sets."
"Thank god."
Louis hears the relief in Lestat's voice and ordinarily he wouldn't have thought anything of it. They both hate being separated, but this is something different. He takes a moment to really look at Lestat through the phone, knowing Lestat has been struggling with the demands of the tour and the documentary, but the exhaustion he sees on Lestat's face is bone-deep. He looks haggard, and his normally bright eyes are tired and bloodshot, bordered in deep circles of fatigue.
"You doing okay?" Louis softly asks in concern.
"No," Lestat quietly states, "I can't stand being away from you. I've endured enough of that."
"Are the nightmares bad again?"
"Yes. They're always bad when I can't feel your heartbeat."
"I'm sorry," Louis knowingly whispers, "have you been sleeping at all?"
"I've been taking the groupies on drugs. It keeps me awake."
"Lestat," Louis sighs, feeling the fear of Lestat self-harming again going down his spine. "You promised me no more drugs."
"It's just for a little while, Louis. Luckily for us, our bodies can't be addicted to anything but blood, even though the drugs temporarily hurt us. Luckily for me," Lestat laughs with a delirious smile, "I'm only addicted to you."
Louis just shakes his head, giving Lestat a weary side-eye and feeling the affection brimming from his heart.
"I just miss you, Louis," Lestat says seriously, "I need you."
"Need you too," Louis whispers in a rough voice.
"You'll be back soon, yeah? I can endure until then."
"As soon as the sun sets, I'm on my way."
Lestat nods and averts his gaze, fiddling with the lighter in his hand just out of Louis' line of vision.
"Anything else bothering you?" Louis asks as if on cue.
Lestat shakes his head, not meeting Louis' eyes.
"Lestat."
Lestat huffs, feeling both grateful and annoyed that Louis knows him so well. He finally meets Louis' eyes and wants to melt from the love and concern he finds in them.
"The documentary," Lestat finally responds, "we haven't touched anything since you left, but the discussion before.....about Magnus."
"Oh," Louis breathes out across the connection, and Lestat feels the bleeding love and fierce protection from Louis even with several states between them.
"I'm.....seeing him, Louis. That hideous white face.....and I see—" Lestat stops himself, knowing the next part is going to trouble Louis.
"What do you see?" Louis gently prods.
"I see him coming after me again. I feel him," Lestat wheezes out in tears, the words so painful his throat closes around them.
"Oh, baby. Why didn't you tell me?" Louis whimpers with tears of his own spilling. He feels his heart stumbling, the pain going down his spine like ice and settling into a pit of nausea in his belly.
"It only started again since you left me."
"I'm sorry. I'll be there as soon as I can," Louis urgently assures him.
"Just.....come back to me, Louis. Please. I need you," Lestat softly cries in a shaky voice.
"I will. If I would've known," Louis runs his hands through his hair in frustration, "but no, that's not right. I should've known. I should've known what talking about this would do to you. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."
Lestat is crying, but he nods and curls up in his own bed, cradling Louis' face through the phone and wishing Louis was really there so Lestat could just rest in his arms and listen to his heartbeat.
"I have an idea that might help with the nightmares?" Louis suggests, making himself more comfortable and pulling the blankets up over his shoulders.
"I'll do anything," Lestat sniffles, and Louis feels his heart shattering at the desperation in his voice.
"Let's stay on FaceTime tonight. We'll sleep with the call connected. It's not the same as truly sleeping together, but it might help," Louis softly smiles when he sees Lestat eagerly nodding.
"Yes! Oh, mon cher! Please! I hate sleeping without you!"
"Okay," Louis agrees. "Lemme try something."
He rolls over onto his back and places the phone face-up against his heartbeat. He's about to ask Lestat if he can hear it through the phone when he's met with Lestat's choking sob.
"Your heartbeat," he cries. "Oh, it's beautiful. It's so beautiful. Thank you, Louis. Thank you."
I love you, Louis thinks to himself, but he just wipes his tears and clears his throat.
"Just rest for me, baby. I'm coming. I promise I'm coming. We'll face it together."
"I love you, Louis," Lestat hitches out.
And Louis hopes Lestat doesn't hear the way his heart tumbles at those blessed words he still can't bring himself to say.
———
Louis knew something was wrong the minute Lestat froze with his eyes glazing over on the stage. He was staring out into the crowd while robotically ripping off his shirt, his usual cat-like movements stiff and trembling.
Louis grasped his temples, trying and failing to stave off the headache that was brewing from the stress and worry. It was the last song, and Louis just wanted Lestat out of there. He wanted them back in their hotel where he could tend to Lestat and feed him and just hold him while he rested like they did after the finish of every show.
The voices were reaching a fever pitch. Constant threats to Louis. Constant threats to Lestat. Rumblings that Daniel was tracking about spontaneous burnings of other vampires. For the first time, Louis was truly worried. He was scared for Lestat. He knew why Lestat was doing this. He knew it was all to create a diversion and place the target meant for Louis onto his own back.
Louis feels his heart clench at the reminder of Lestat's love. He protected Louis in New Orleans. He protected Louis in Paris. He had been a numb shell when he believed Louis had succumbed to his injuries from the suicide attempt. And now, he was protecting Louis again. Lestat had protected him again and again, yet Louis felt Lestat slipping through his fingers the longer this tour continued and the more Lestat was delving into his past with Daniel which was, again, for Louis.
Before Louis realizes, Lestat is gone. The song is over and the crowd is filing out of the arena.
Louis immediately charges backstage, seeking Lestat at the landing where he usually arrives after each show to scoop Louis up in his arms, but Lestat is nowhere to be found.
"Where is he, Cook?" Louis asks Tough Cookie as he approaches the band making their way down the foggy hall from the stage.
"I think he's already in his dressing room," she replies, giving Louis a knowing look of concern and sympathy.
"Thanks."
"And Louis?"
"Yeah?" Louis hesitantly turns back to her, fearing what she'll say next.
"He's in bad shape," she whispers before hastily wiping the tears lining her eyes.
"Right," Louis roughly bites out and quickly turns to run straight for Lestat's dressing room.
The door is shut and locked, and Louis is frantically pounding and yelling for Lestat to open the door.
"It's open!" Lestat sarcastically sing-songs in a trembling voice, and Louis can already smell his tears through the door.
He uses the mind gift to rip the lock off, and he storms into the room with a slam of the now-broken door falling shut behind him. The scene that greets him causes Louis' heart to drop.
Lestat is sitting in front of the mirror, still shirtless and violently scrubbing his face with shaky hands. He's crying, his eyes bloodshot and raw as the black makeup and red glitter smear across his alabaster skin.
"Lestat?" Louis tentatively approaches the vanity, but Lestat doesn't look at him through the reflection. He merely continues the hasty scrubbing of his face and something tells Louis this isn't what Lestat was doing before he found him.
"Lestat, what are you doing?" Louis tries again.
"Nothing," Lestat tersely bites out, "nothing for you to worry about, mon cher. This damned makeup.....won't come off."
"Don't lie to me," Louis roughly whispers, giving Lestat a penetrative gaze through the mirror.
Lestat sighs with a shake of his head. His hands are roughly trembling when he throws the rag down and turns to face Louis with an anguished sob.
"I told you," he rasps through more tears as he looks up helplessly at Louis, "it's nothing."
And that's when Louis sees them.
Burn marks.
Hideous, fresh burn marks covering Lestat's inner left forearm.
Louis' eyes move to the lighter haphazardly thrown amidst the chaos of makeup and cigarettes on the vanity, and the terrifying realization makes Louis want to retch.
Lestat has been burning himself.
"Lestat!" Louis cries out, falling to his knees at Lestat's side and frantically grabbing at his arm to look at the burns.
"What is this?! What have you done?!" Louis hysterically stammers, trying and failing to get Lestat to hold still, who is silently sobbing while refusing to meet Louis' eyes in shame.
"They always heal," Lestat is softly crying over and over. "They always fucking heal."
"Lestat, no! Stop it!" Louis is still struggling to subdue him, his hands roughly gliding over the seared flesh on accident, and Lestat pitifully whimpers with the touch to the oozing burns.
"Lestat, please! Just stop! Can you do that for me? Let me help you! Please stop!" Louis is fully crying, crouching up to try and take Lestat in his arms.
Lestat stops at that, his breathing labored and his chest hitching. His face is raw, the makeup and glitter smeared all over him, and he's trembling while the hiccuping sobs continue to rack his body.
"Lestat?" Louis whispers with the stillness, and that's all it takes. Lestat sags forward with another choked whimper into Louis' embrace, slumping completely out of the chair as they both fall back into the floor.
Louis pulls Lestat into his lap to hold him and rock him. Lestat is now totally silent against him, as if all the fight has gone out of him.
Louis presses small kisses to Lestat's head, rocking him and shushing him like a baby. Lestat is still silent and totally pliant in Louis' arms.
"Why would you do this?" Louis feebly sniffles between tears. "Why would you hurt yourself? Why, baby? Why?"
Lestat doesn't answer, but Louis feels him timidly tucking his face into Louis' neck. He merely tightens his grip on Lestat and rocks him harder.
The silence continues, both of them hunkered on the floor in a ball, and Louis stretches out his mind to make sure they're well and truly alone.
He gently takes Lestat's arm, pausing to see if Lestat will resist, but there's no fight. Lestat is just silent, staring blankly at nothing with his cheek against Louis' collarbone.
He lifts up Lestat's arm and begin pressing gentle kisses to the burns. Lestat's breathing hitches, but he doesn't say anything. He merely closes his eyes and allows Louis to kiss the wounds, silent blood tears tracking down his cheeks and staining Louis' blue shirt.
Louis continues his ministrations of Lestat's burns, the silence enveloping them like a cool blanket. Louis slowly stops the kisses and adjusts their positions to be more comfortable. Lestat says nothing. It's only when Louis cuts his own hand that Lestat reacts.
"Don't," he desperately chokes out in a hoarse, barely-there voice before placing his trembling hand over Louis' to stop the cutting. "Don't hurt yourself, Louis. Please."
"So it's okay for you to do it, but not me?" Louis snaps, more harshly than he'd intended, and Lestat flinches at the words.
"I'm sorry," Louis sighs with another kiss to Lestat's forehead. "I didn't mean it like that. I only meant.....why would you hurt yourself, Lestat? Don't you know? Don't you know when you hurt, I hurt?"
"You shouldn't," Lestat whispers. "I love you, Louis. I love you more than the whole world. My heart will always be with you.....but I know the truth."
"What truth?" Louis' heart is collapsing in his chest.
"It's okay," Lestat cries, "it's alright, mon cher. I'm grateful for what you give me."
"What are you talking about? Lestat, you're not making any sense!" Louis pushes Lestat's sweaty hair back from his temple as Lestat raises his head to finally meet Louis' eyes.
He reaches up with his injured arm to gently cradle Louis' face, holding him like a rare emerald, and stroking his thumb underneath Louis' eye to catch his tears. He gives Louis a sad smile filled with so much love and worship that Louis thinks his heart is going to bust.
"I don't fool myself into thinking I'm more than what I am," Lestat rasps, sounding so weak and feeble. "I know you don't love me like I love you."
And Louis' heart drops. Words of fierce protest rise to his throat, but he's frozen. He can't say anything. He merely stares at Lestat in horrified silence.
"I'm grateful for what you give me," Lestat wistfully repeats, still tearfully smiling at Louis. "I know I'll never be worthy of your love. I know it's only my body."
Louis feels like he's going to pass out when Lestat drops his hand and looks away from him, slumping further back in his arms and looking off to the side with his eyes darkening and a shadow of shame passing over his face.
"It's the only thing I've ever been to all of them," Lestat brokenly whispers, "Magnus.....my body.....he broke my pelvic bone, you know. He was raping me.....on the fifth night, he couldn't anymore.....he took the wine bottle and shoved it inside me. I already couldn't walk. My hips were broken days ago. The wine bottle.....I felt it hit my pelvis, felt it break inside me. The pain was.....I passed out after that. I barely remember him thrusting the bottle into me. Over and over. I was bleeding.....he was tearing me—" Lestat's voice breaks.
Louis' eyes are closed, his face one of pure anguish as he listens to Lestat recall the horror he suffered. He doesn't dare move, doesn't dare break the moment for fear of sending Lestat into a further spiral. He merely waits with bated breath, his heart in his throat.
"Brave strong little Wolfkiller.....sunlight in the hair.....and the blue sky fixed forever in your eyes.....you're perfect, my Lelio, my Wolfkiller.....I wanted him to stop, Louis. I just wanted him to stop," Lestat hitches out in a cracking voice. "My body.....if my body would've been maimed, maybe he would've stopped."
"That's why you burned yourself," Louis gruffly whispers, finally opening his eyes to look down at Lestat. "That's why you're always shirtless. Offering your body up."
Lestat barely nods, refusing to look at Louis as silent tears stream down his face.
"It's all I've got," Lestat says then, so quietly that Louis barely hears him.
"That isn't all you've got," Louis firmly argues, moving to stand and taking Lestat with him in his arms.
He moves them to the couch, Lestat like a lifeless lump in his arms, and he gingerly sits Lestat down like a porcelain doll while he looks at the floor and continues to softly cry.
Louis quickly removes his blue shirt, tearing some of the buttons with his jerky movements. Lestat looks up at him then and, as if instinctual, opens his legs for Louis to take him.
"Nuh uh. We ain't doing that," Louis says, leaning down to push his legs back together, and Lestat stares at him in shock.
"I don't need that from you," Louis continues, protectively placing his blue shirt around Lestat's shoulders, and Lestat chokes on a sob as he continues to stare at Louis in awe.
Louis then kneels down in front of him, tenderly taking his injured arm and re-cutting his hand to begin pressing his blood into Lestat's burns. They begin healing instantly, the sizzling sound of Lestat's flesh knitting itself back together electrifying the room.
Lestat's mouth is hung open. He's watching Louis in pure, amazed love, and Louis just gives him a soft smile.
He finishes healing Lestat's burns, leaning down to glide his lips reverently over the healed skin before coming up to kiss Lestat's lips. Lestat accepts the kiss as he continues to stare at Louis in stunned worship.
Louis takes Lestat's arms and slips them into the sleeves of the blue shirt. He buttons the remaining buttons before moving back to the vanity. He takes the rag Lestat was using, rinsing it out in the adjacent sink, and comes back to Lestat and begins gently cleaning the mess of makeup and glitter and blood tears from his face.
With every swipe of the rag, Louis kisses Lestat's face, and Lestat closes his eyes, leaning into Louis' touch and basking in being cared for. He's about to start crying again, his heart overflowing with love and thankfulness for Louis, when Louis' sweet laugh breaks the silence.
"No more of that now," Louis fondly says before kissing away the stray tear and continuing to clean the rest of Lestat's face. "How do you expect me to ever get you cleaned if you keep crying and messing up my work?"
And Lestat genuinely smiles for the first time since parting from Louis earlier at showtime.
When Louis is finished, he tosses the rag aside and takes out a brush to comb Lestat's tangled hair. Lestat manages to stifle the satisfied moan threatening to escape his lips.
He opens his eyes when the brushing stops and Louis is moving to sit on the couch with Lestat. He opens his arms in invitation, and Lestat happily goes.
He pulls Lestat fully back into his lap and guides Lestat's head to his heartbeat. He's rocking Lestat again, rubbing his palms against Lestat's back and holding him close as Lestat curls into him.
"You're more than your body to me," Louis starts after several long moments. "And I'm sorry I haven't be able to say the words, but Lestat. Surely you know? Surely you know what you mean to me? Please, tell me I haven't failed you that much?"
"You've never failed me," Lestat gruffly whispers. "You're the only one who's never failed me. But I've failed you—"
"No you have not!"
"I have. You healed my burns. I couldn't.....couldn't be there to heal yours—"
"Don't do this to yourself, Lestat. I know you would've if you could've," Louis kisses his head and strokes his cheek against his chest.
"Please," Lestat rasps in a pained voice, "don't ever do that again. Don't hurt yourself, Louis. Please my baby."
"Promise me you won't hurt yourself either."
"Louis—"
"You promise me. You burn yourself, I'll burn myself—"
"No! No, Louis! Please!"
"Promise me?" Louis says again, holding Lestat closer to calm him.
"Okay," Lestat relents with an exhale after a beat. "I won't, Louis. For you. I won't."
"Because I ain't them, Lestat. I'm not here for just your body. Even if those burns never healed.....no matter if you were maimed beyond recognition tomorrow.....you're my Lestat. Always my Lestat. I only want you, because it's this right here," Louis moves his hand to hold Lestat's heart. "Your heart that bleeds nothing but love. That's why I'm here, baby. Just you. Not for your body. Not for sex. Just your heart."
And Lestat is crying against Louis' chest, kissing his heartbeat and clutching himself to Louis in desperate need.
"I love you, Louis. I love you. I love you."
"And you know that I.....Lestat, I—"
"You don't have to say it," Lestat's voice is so small.
"But you know? That's the real truth, Lestat. You know the real truth, right? Not the bullshit those monsters brainwashed into your head. My life began when I met you."
Lestat only nods, and Louis knows Lestat wants to believe him, but the grip of insecurity and self-hatred is still too strong.
"I'll have to make you believe it," Louis states with fierce determination. "Until I can fully get past my own shit, I'll prove it to you."
"You keep holding me like this.....I'll believe the grass is purple," Lestat huffs out a chuckle.
"No purple grass," Louis smiles with another kiss to Lestat's head, "only.....the course of true love never did run smooth."
"Shakespeare," Lestat murmurs from Louis' chest with a nostalgic smile.
"Yes," Louis grins, "A Midsummer Night's Dream.....you're the only one I can share it with who knows it as well as I do."
Lestat nods and snuggles his cheek further into Louis' heart.
"You feel my heart? How it's pounding like a drum?"
Lestat nods again.
"That's for you. You want the proof? There it is, mon cher. Just listen to my heartbeat. My drum echoing with your drum. My heart with your heart."
And Lestat's chest hitches with a sob.
"Oh, Louis," he cries.
"I told you. No more crying. You're messing up my cleaning," Louis gently teases and when Lestat fully laughs, Louis' heart is soaring in tandem with Lestat's, and they cling to each other just a little bit closer.
———
"You swear you liked the fireworks? I wanted the last show to end with a real bang!"
Lestat is excitedly chattering away, walking backwards in front of Louis and beaming like a mad man as they make their way up Royal Street.
It's the early morning hours of November 1st. The air is crisp and inviting. The rich sounds of the city's Halloween festivities still ringing at 2am in the morning.
"Yes," Louis laughs as he grins at Lestat." I told you before. You should've ended all your shows with fireworks."
"I should have, shouldn't I?" Lestat thoughtfully nods, turning around and slowing down to fall back in step at Louis' side.
When Louis reaches out and takes his hand, Lestat almost stumbles with the air leaving his lungs. Louis, of course, notices.
"Maybe one day you won't be so surprised whenever I hold your hand in public," Louis smirks.
"Never," Lestat is barely able to choke out, overcome with the magnitude of the moment.
He brings their intwined hands up to his lips to kiss Louis' knuckles, and Louis just gives him a gentle smile.
They continue the rest of the way in comfortable silence, their linked hands swinging between them, and it's only once they arrive at 1132 Royal Street that Lestat chances a look at Louis and wants to melt from how much he loves seeing the expression of wonder and joy lighting up Louis' beautiful features.
Louis takes it all in, his eyes lovingly caressing the familiar architecture. The beloved seafoam green adornments are welcoming them with open arms.
It's only when Lestat kisses Louis' cheek that the sob escapes from Louis' lips, and he ducks his head as he allows the happy, overwhelmed tears to freely flow.
He doesn't have to hide himself anymore. Not with Lestat.
"Welcome home, Louis," Lestat softly whispers into his cheek with tears of his own falling.
And with that, Lestat scoops him up into his arms and carries Louis over the threshold into the warmth of their home, just like he'd done on their wedding night over 100 years ago.
They're giggling and kissing when they make it inside, and Lestat puts Louis down with several kisses to his face and begins helping Louis remove his coat and scarf to hang them up.
He takes Louis' hands to lead him around the townhouse, eagerly showing him everything that's been updated since the last time they were here with the realtor, and Louis stops with a sharp intake of breath when he gets to the easily-accessible bookcases lining the far wall, already fully stocked with his favorite books.
He turns to look at Lestat, who is intently watching him while timidly biting his lip, and Louis fully breaks down.
Lestat is there, taking Louis in his arms as Louis tearfully whispers "thank you" over and over.
"It's alright, mon cher. It's okay. You know I love spoiling you," Lestat soothes, taking his face in his hands and wiping his tears.
"I'll read them to you," Louis sniffles after a moment, and Lestat just smiles at him while cradling his face.
"I'd like that."
He guides Louis to the stairs, both of them marveling at Louis' lovely pick for the new wood railing, and Lestat playfully puts his hands over Louis' eyes when they approach the bedroom laughing.
"Lestat, really. You don't have to—"
And Louis' voice catches in his throat when they step foot into the bedroom.
It looks just like it did before, a few minor updates and modern tweaks. But for the most part, it is their old bedroom. Their sacred safe haven. Warm and inviting. The entire townhouse is warm and inviting, filled with rich and vibrant colors.
Home.
"Lestat," Louis breathes out, too overcome to utter anything except that revered name.
"I hope you like it," Lestat whispers with another kiss to his cheek. "And look."
Lestat moves to the fireplace, turning the top of the wrought iron post at the hearth, and the walls open to reveal their old coffin room.
It's the same as it was before. The only difference is the painting above the fireplace has been replaced with a painting of their Claudia, and they'd both wept when Lestat had suggested it.
Lestat excitedly walks into the room to stand over the huge coffin. It's beautiful, lined in silken white with the warm glow of the fire dancing shadows across the mosaic of colors gleaming from the red cedar wood.
"Red cedar was a beautiful suggestion, mon cher," Lestat tells him, looking at the coffin with pride.
"It means healing.....purification," Louis whispers in a thick voice.
"Yes," Lestat softly smiles.
"Of course, it's just for extra protection. I had all of the windows sun-proofed. We have the blackout curtains for the bed. We can sleep there. I know you don't like coffins anymore....." Lestat trails off when he meets Louis' eyes watching him for the doorway.
He's crying, yet smiling so brilliantly at Lestat that his cheeks are hurting.
Lestat endearingly bites his lip again and gives Louis an anxious little smile. Louis can practically hear the mental question despite their minds being locked to each other.
Did I do good, Louis? Are you happy?
With a determined sigh and fond shake of his head, Louis purposefully walks over to Lestat and wraps his arms around his neck to hungrily kiss his lips.
Lestat lets out a shaky breath of happiness as he rests his forehead against Louis' when the kiss finally breaks. His hands are cradling Louis' hips, and he kisses Louis again with an emotional intake of breath, slow and sensual.
Louis slightly moves his mouth from Lestat's lips to kiss his mouth scar before moving back to his lips.
This is it, Louis thinks.
“Have I ever told you I love you?” he whispers into his mouth, and Lestat freezes in his embrace.
He pulls back to look at Louis, his eyes full of disbelief and misting over with more tears.
"Don't tease me," Lestat breathes out in a small voice, and Louis moves back in to cradle his mouth scar with his lips.
"I'm not teasing," Louis warmly tells him. "I love you, Lestat."
Lestat chokes on a sob and feels his knees go weak. He almost collapses to the floor, but Louis is there, holding him up and cradling him in his arms as Lestat slumps forward to rest his head against Louis' shoulder, nuzzling his face into Louis' neck.
Louis just holds him, slowly swaying back and forth while Lestat cries against his shoulder and clings to his back.
"Say it again," Lestat squeaks out after several long minutes, and Louis can't help the smile overtaking his face.
"Lestat," Louis nudges him to make him look at him and when Lestat finally moves from his place against his neck to meet his eyes, Louis cradles his face and wipes his tears with his thumbs.
"Lestat," Louis looks at him in pure reverence, "I. Love. You."
Lestat's lips are trembling and he's still crying, but he nods and lets his head fall forward to rest his forehead against Louis' with another kiss.
"I love you too," he croaks into Louis' mouth. "So much, Louis. You don't know how much."
"I do. Lestat, I do. And I hope you know how much I love you. You are my life. You've always been my entire life," Louis softly smiles into the kiss.
And Lestat can only nod again with another wave of fresh tears, feeling their hearts throbbing in-sync against each other's chests.
"Let's go to bed," Louis finally whispers as he pulls back to look at Lestat, "christen our new bed."
"But not like that yet," Louis continues with a smirk when he sees Lestat's eyes dilate in arousal. "I want you just the way you are. I want you to know I'm here with you for no other reason than love. Plain and simple."
Lestat doesn't say anything. He just dumbfoundedly stares at Louis with another slow nod and labored breaths of amazement.
"Maybe one day you won't be so surprised when I say it," Louis grins as he moves to change his clothes with a kiss to Lestat's forehead.
"Never," Lestat finally chokes out as he watches Louis move around their bedroom. "I will never tire of hearing you say it. I will never not be amazed when you say it."
"Well," Louis purrs as moves to take Lestat in his arms again, "I guess I'll just have to show you how much I mean it over and over."
He leads Lestat to the bed, gently stripping Lestat's clothes except for Louis' blue shirt that Lestat has worn after every concert since that night.
They crawl into bed, taking each other in their arms, and Louis triggers the teal velvet blackout curtains to shroud their bed in safety. He reclines back with Lestat against his chest, and he guides Lestat's head to his heartbeat.
"Take it," Louis tells him in a rough voice, and Lestat raises his head in shock yet again.
"I want to show you, mon cher," Louis smiles when he feels Lestat shiver at his French.
“Boire. Bois de moi, Lestat. Bois de moi et vie pour toujours. S’il te plaît," Louis huskily whispers, and Lestat is stupefied.
The desire is pooling in the pit of Lestat's belly. The emotion is quickening within him, the overwhelming mosaic of feelings that always drive him to his knees where Louis is concerned. He reverently kisses Louis then, grasping Louis by his nape, his fingers idly brushing at the ends of his hair, an old habit Lestat has never tried to break.
He kisses Louis’ chest, placing several fervored kisses there as they both shiver. Lestat moves back to his heartbeat and opens his mouth to Louis’ skin, feeling the rhythmic pulse on his tongue as Louis moans above his head, still speaking in French.
“Oui.....Oh, mon dieu. Oui.....s’il te plaît, Lestat. S’il te plaît.”
Lestat grazes his nipple with the tips of his fangs, not enough pressure to break the skin, and Louis cries out with pleasure. With one last kiss to his heartbeat, Lestat gently drives his fangs deeply into Louis’ chest, and he can't help the grin when he hears Louis moaning his name.
The blood hits Lestat’s tongue and spreads down his throat and into his veins. Louis moans again as Lestat clings to him, feeling the grounding weight of Louis’ arms holding him protectively around his back, his hands deliciously massaging into Lestat’s shoulder blades.
I love you, Lestat.
I need you.
I am made from you.
I am made of you.
I am made for you.
Your blood is my blood and my blood is your blood.
Take it, Lestat.
Feel how I love you.
Feel how I can’t live without you.
You are my light.
You are my life.
You are my home.
My companion heart.
The other half of my soul.
You were made for me.
I love you.
Every little piece of you.
I would die for you, Lestat.
Lestat’s breathing hitches with that last monumental confession. Everything is magnified, more raw, more intense. After everything they’ve been through together, it's the realization of the cord between them. They are deeply bonded, deeply intertwined with each other.
Lestat clenches his jaw tighter, desperately needing to feel more, and Louis cries out as he trembles with the visions he's pulling to the surface with each draw of his blood from his heart. Lestat can feel Louis letting go, the current of emotions washing over him in waves. Lestat sees it vividly, entirely. Louis is giving all that he has, and Lestat knows beyond a shadow of a doubt they belong to each other.
My heart is yours, Lestat.
It’s always been yours.
Lestat knows that now. Oh, how he knows, and he is humbled as his body is humming with the electrifying manna of Louis’ sacred blood. Lestat finally sees himself through Louis’ eyes, and he's overcome. Louis feels for him the same way Lestat feels for Louis. It's exhilarating to feel the blazing tumult of equal parts love and worship and need melting down through his veins and fusing them as one mind, one body, one accord.
There's a spark of light as Louis fully lowers all barriers in his mind, and the vivid visions come through like an onslaught of feelings and sensations. It's their life together playing from Louis’ heart. Lestat is becoming aware of a pounding in his temples, vibrating down throughout his entire frame. It's their heartbeats, pounding in-sync. Just like the night he turned Louis.
He pulls back with a choked sob and collapses down onto Louis' chest to cry. He drapes himself over Louis, feeling Louis weakly pull the blankets up over his shoulders.
"Now you know," Louis rasps out, and Lestat knows this moment has changed everything. He is forever wed to Louis.
He presses his ear further into his heartbeat as Louis holds him and traces lazy circles against his back.
"I love you," Louis whispers, and Lestat softly giggles against him.
"Say it again," he slurs, and Louis chuckles in pure joy before saying it over and over until he hears Lestat's soft snores.
They are warm. They are happy. They are home.
And Louis holds Lestat in his arms all day in fierce protection, his blue shirt still cocooning Lestat in his love.