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2025-07-15
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2025-07-15
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2/?
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Imprinting Mishaps and How That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen

Summary:

A minor miscalculation with the Imprinting process, and suddenly a busload of dysfunctional morons are clambering over each other to save Nevada. Or, technically, just a couple instances of the same dysfunctional moron. It’s all very confusing.

Probably abandoned unless it gets a lot of attention (i love attention).

Chapter 1: Crowded Bud and How The Hero Was Introduced To Themself And Themself And Themself And

Chapter Text

Imprint Successful

"Ugh, where... where am I? How did I get here?"

"Looks like the process was a success. How're you feeling?"

The groggy grunt tried to force their eyes open, looking blearily at the man in the seat across from him. The man looked unlike most people from Nevada Central, sporting a perfectly shaven mohawk, glowing red goggles and a facemask over the top of some bandages covering his jaw and mouth.

"Who-" The bus they rode on hit a pothole, bouncing slightly and making the grunt gag from a wave of nausea.

"Yes, I'd say that's about what could be expected. You can call me Doc, and while you most likely don't know me..."

There was a buzz from the tablet that Doc held. Imprint Successful

Doc noted it with a glance, grunting quietly, before trying to resume his speech. "While you most likely don't-"

Another buzz. Then two more. Doc turned his attention to the tablet, trying to find the source of whatever issue it was having. Imprint Successful Imprint Successful Imprint Successful

"Do you... need a moment?" the grunt asked, trying to be polite despite their confusion.

"Negative, just... faulty technology. If we could-"

The buzzing of the tablet started happening faster and faster, becoming almost a drone. Then the grunt felt a presence form around them.

Doc jumped up from his seat, drawing a pistol that had been concealed somewhere around his waist. He angled the weapon to just over the grunt's head, who tried to duck even more before the weapon went off.

It didn't, as the next moment Doc held his arm outstretched with nothing in his hand. The pistol clattered to the ground of the bus, then slid someways down the center aisle.

"Doc. We need to talk," said a proper, educated voice from behind the grunt. Finally raising their head and turning around, numerous seats from their position and the front of the bus were now filled with a crowd of strange-looking characters. A clean-looking man in a black and blue suit, a frantic, teeth-chittering creature with claws for fingers, another man in camo fatigues and a headset, a jittery, anxious person in a torn-open straightjacket, a person in a strange mask sitting like a statue, a ghoulish corpse lying lifeless on it's seat, a towering woman that simply had to be a very well-crafted G03LM, another woman who was turned away from the ordeal, trying futilely to grab the just-out-of-reach discarded pistol from her seat, and right above the grunt that observed this all was a person in what could only be described as the cheapest wizard cosplay that money could find.

"I can see that," Doc said, lowering his now weaponless arm.

"I promise you, this was not my doing," budget Gandalf said, lowering their own arm which was lazily reached out, and seemingly resting at the end of a sort of flicking motion.

"I don't even know who you are."

"Oh," the wizard said, furrowing their brow bemused, before their gaze fell upon the grunt in the seat in front of them. "Oh, oh dear."

Then they turned to the rest of the bus behind them, taking in what the grunt had just seen. "I... see... suppose I must be the one to clarify some of this then."

"I hope you can," Doc lowered himself back into his seat as the wizard walked to the very back of the bus and turned to regard the others, the man acting as if this was just a concerning inconvenience instead of an unexplainable situation.

"Nevadeans and… Not-Nevadeans…" the wizard said, their eyes falling specifically on the strange clawed creature and the unmoving corpse as they spoke those last words. "I am sure many of you don't know why you were gathered here. As my good friend Doc here would say, that is about what could be expected. To, uh, rip the bandaid off, we are all one."

The man in grey camouflaged fatigues, seated about midways down the bus, called out in a rough and confused voice. "Whazzat even mean?"

"You all feel a sense of familiarity while seated in this vehicle. You recognize these roads, but each other... only vaguely, at best."

Murmurs of agreement sounded behind the grunt, who tried to duck further into their seat and looked to Doc for help. Unfortunately, Doc seemed just as captivated by the wizard's speech as everyone else on the bus.

"That's because at some point, everyone in this bus was in another's shoes, taking this trip alone with Doc to guide them. But something has gone terribly wrong. Instead of an individual starting their journey, this timeline has seemingly put us all together."

"How do you know all this?" A suave voice that the grunt couldn't place came from somewhere behind them.

"I was the most recent iteration, or 'origin'. Before this form, I have been in each of your positions, and due to my arcane prowess I possess a stronger sense of understanding as to our situation. Before now, I was you," the wizard pointed down the aisle, the finger angled at the woman fixated on the pistol, who tore her attention away for just long enough to make a dumbfounded 'huh' expression. Then the wizard turned their point to who the grunt was still sure was a G03LM. "Before you took that form, you were her, and so on."

A select few from the crowd nodded and murmured in understanding, which only confused the grunt more as to how any of them were comprehending any of this.

"Judging by this seating arrangement, we appear to have tagged along to the initial 'origin's timeline, the person seated across from Doc. I feel it best to apologize for this interruption, but I am afraid nothing can be done about such a situation until we find a solution."

The grunt felt multiple pairs of eyes turn to them, and they in turn looked to the man they had woken up in front of just a few minutes ago. "Doc?"

"It makes sense. Improbable, but completely viable," Doc said, which didn't exactly help the grunt's nerves.

"If anything, I think this could be a good experience! New, informative. A well-deserved break from the monotony of repeatedly sacrificing oneself for the sake of reality," the wizard spoke cheerfully. When met with confused silence, their tone lowered. "Sorry. Spoiler."

Doc rose from his seat and left walked into the aisle so he could stand beside the wizard. "How do you suppose we start to deal with this?"

"The Power of Friendship, perhaps?" The wizard said helpfully. When Doc did not respond with so much as an expression change, the wizard decided to turn more serious. "Teamwork may honestly be a helpful way to deal with this all. Not only would it assist with the original mission, but many of you could be some help to the more interesting timeline conundrum. To begin with-"

"None of us..." a jittery voice from the back started, but then stopped as the speaker realized they cut off the wizard. Realizing their mistake had already been made, they continued. "S-sorry, none of us know each other. Or trust each other. At all."

"Then I suppose we should learn more about the others," the Wizard said, brushing past Doc and starting to move down the aisle. They came to a stop at the gun-fixated woman. "You are the Tinkerer. A master of the use and modification of firearms."

"Actually my name is-"

"We all have the same name, friend, it'll get confusing unless we take the names of our roles," the wizard moved across to the G03LM and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You are the Massive, the personification of brute strength and toughness.

The woman made a deep grunting sound in what was probably agreement.

Next they made their way to the corpse. "You are the Offering, a..." they trailed off, furrowing their brow and quickly placing two fingers on the neck of the shriveled husk.

"Seriously?" A hoarse, weary whisper echoed out of the creature, sounding annoyed.

"Uh... moving on..." moving further down the bus, they came to the statue-like person with the mask. "You are the Disquieted One-"

The Disquieted One feigned lunging at the wizard, who flinched and fell into the opposite side seat, making their aggressor burst into maniacal, choking cackles.

"Yes... you do that... charming," the wizard picked themselves up and dusted off their clothes before moving to the next person. "The Escaped Patient, a former scientist."

The Escaped Patient didn't seem to see or hear the wizard above them. Or maybe they were ignoring them now.

Next was the man in camouflage. "The Ronin Mercenary."

The Mercenary regarded the name with a polite nod.

Next the clawed creature. "The Terrible Experiment."

The Experiment freakishly snapped its jaws at the wizard, who elegantly backpedaled the hell out of there.

Then "the Undercover Agent."

The Agent regarded the name with a sharp salute, which the Mercenary scoffed at.

Then the wizard returned to the front of the bus. "I am the Magiturge, user of the arcane arts."

And finally the Magiturge's gaze landed upon the grunt, of whom they had previously called the 'initial origin'. The grunt waited nervously for their name.

"The Noob."

"Sorry?"

"Today is the first interesting day of your life."

"Excuse me?"

The Magiturge walked past the now shocked Noob, patting them on the shoulder as they moved to the front of the bus. "Not to worry, young one. It only gets more exciting."

"This is your stop. Everyone out, the Magiturge will know where to take you," Doc said, hitting a button and calling the driver to slow.

"It's been a pleasure, Doc," the Magiturge said, positioning themselves in front of the bus door as the vehicle stopped and opened them.

"I can only assume the feeling will be mutual. Eventually."

Every Origin filed out onto the dark, wet sidewalk, and the Magiturge quickly started down the path. It was a short walk to where they needed to go - a big, abandoned tower with a sign out front that read Annex Technologies - but a few of the other origins still found time to strike up conversations with each other.

The grunt tried their best to follow the conversations and keep track of who gravitated to who, but they were interrupted when the Tinkerer slid up beside them.

"So then, Noob. What do you think about all this?"

The name... didn't not sting. "If you're just me in a different life, you would know my name. Our name. You could use that instead."

"Sure, I could, but Magiturge said we shouldn't. Plus, it's funnier saying Noob. Like, that's your actual name. Noob."

"You know that it's not."

"Whatever you say, Noob," the Tinkerer laughed to herself and moved off to join someone else's conversation.

The Noob didn't have a moment to themselves to grumble before the party was guided left, off the sidewalk and into a short alley closed off by a chain-link fence. In the few feet between the street and the fence, a small door led into their destination.

The Magiturge guided them all inside the rundown foyer, including the Massive with a little added difficulty, much to the distaste of an old man sitting atop the ramp at the back of the room.

"Squatter's rights, this place is mine!"

The Noob stepped forward, raising their fists and preparing themselves for a fight. As the disgruntled homeless man approached, his own fists raised,

"Bossman, my dear ally! Need a job?" The Magiturge called.

"Eh?"

"Work for me. Here. Now. Get everyone you need, we'll be making a lovely little private military."

"Uh... yeah. Wait, yeah. Whatever you say boss. You'll need to-"

"We can handle getting the building functional, and making use of the Sleepwalker Training Bed. We know what we're doing."

"I'll... start reaching out to some people I know." Bossman made the rest of the way down the ramp, then brushing past the group and dusting off the desk at the entrance.

"Good man," the Magiturge sighed and turned to their party. "He deserves a medal. Disquieted One, Massive, go clear out the upper floors and activate the breaker on the helipad. We'll need power to the building. Agent, Patient, Tinkerer. The three of you must get the Sleepwalker Bed working. It'll be seeing a lot of use in the coming days. Everybody else... make this place presentable, if you'd please?"

Everyone around the Noob cleared off, most going up the ramp to enter the upper levels, and some staying in the room. As they cleaned, they all seemed to have the same idea of 'presentable'. Everyone shared the exact same concept on what the place was supposed to look like. The Noob supposed it tracked with the Magiturge's idea of everybody being some kind of sequel to their own life. They were all trying to make it how they half-remembered it, through the Noob's eyes.

"How about you?" A voice came from behind the Noob. When they turned, Bosman was seated behind the reception desk, occasionally tapping at the dead computer in front of him to see if the power had come on yet.

"Sorry?"

"I won't pretend I know what's going on with that gang you're with, but I don't need to to see you're a bit out of place."

"...I guess I am."

"So what's your story?"

"I'm kind of hoping they'll tell me sometime soon," the Noob concluded.

Bossman grunted and seemed to want to say something else, but suddenly the lights all around the room flashed on and the computer tower came to life. "On to business then..." he muttered, and started punching numbers into the phone on the desk, forgetting his conversation with the Noob.

A few more minutes passed, and Noob watched the foyer turn from a clearly abandoned dump into an efficient and functional lobby at the hands of the Experiment and the Offering. Just as they thought about trying to make conversation with the two, the door upstairs slid open and soon the Magiturge walked down  the ramp, followed by the Disquieted One.

"Oi, wizard-guy. I have a job for you," Bossman called out.

"Right. Disquieted One, you'll be undertaking this mission. Assist Bossman with whatever he needs."

The Noob mentally weighed their options for a moment, but then nervously spoke. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

The Magiturge regarded the Noob with a blank stare.

"I could... help the Disquieted One... with whatever they're doing?"

"That won't be necessary. I'm sure they'll have it under control."

"But-"

"Just... stay here. Familiarize yourself to the building."

With that, the Magiturge turned away and walked back up the ramp. The Disquieted One approached Bossman, and the two started quietly discussing whatever mission they were apparently undertaking.

Leaving the Noob to themselves.

Chapter 2: Early Infighting and How Of Course They’re Already Fighting Why Wouldn’t They Be Fighting

Chapter Text

"Magi!"

The Magiturge rubbed at their eyes without opening them, letting their other senses figure out where they were before letting their sight do the same. They could use the extra second or two of shuteye.

"Magiturge!" A different person this time — technically, anyway — hoarser voice, same place.

Groaning, the Magiturge sat up, blindly reaching to the metal end table for their hat. Maybe they should have invested in mattresses... it was a miracle any hirelings had been willing to stay with their company in these conditions.

After they got out of the hard, steel bed frame in the yet-unused dormitories, they made their way through the station hub and towards the source of the voices, the quartermaster's shop. They could have guessed there'd be at least a few disagreements from there. The Massive had been napping in the station hub alone, apparently having fallen asleep to the sound of the pattering rain drowning the city and not been awakened by the yelling just next door, but the Magiturge had to quickly put that out of mind as they entered Bert's shop.

The door slid up, just in time to see the Disquieted One take the Tinkerer to the ground hard.

The Tinkerer, after taking a half-second to groan from the pain of being forced back-first into the floor, swung a wimpy punch into the Disquieted One's face, who barely even flinched — either the mask was that strong, or the Tinkerer was that weak. The Magiturge was leaning to the latter.

"Enough!" The Magiturge flicked their knock-off wand, even then grimacing at how unsightly it was. Nevertheless it worked, as a blast of energy sent the Disquieted One rolling backwards off their opponent, then standing up with an animalistic growl behind their mask. The Tinkerer also got to her feet, readjusting her cap and looking rather upset as well. "What could this possibly be about?"

The Tinkerer suddenly seemed to take heavy interest in how her own goggles sat on her face, not meeting the Magiturge's eyes. The Disquieted One held no such shame. "She was going to spend all our cash on guns."

"You were gonna spend it on knives and swords and stuff!" The Tinkerer refuted. Not really a defense, just throwing her enemy under the bus too.

"Great observation, did you need all twenty Tactics points for that?"

"Guns can be modified for cheap, if you get a sword you just get... a... a sword."

"It's unbelievable that they let you anywhere near a weapon," The Disquieted One scoffed and muttered. "A blade is cheap and durable. You were going to spend hundreds on something that's only useful for a handful of bullets."

The Tinkerer looked up to the Magiturge hopefully.

The Magiturge rubbed their temples. "Neither of those perspectives matter, seeing as I do believe I left our finances up to the Mercenary."

"Yeah, you did, but..." the Tinkerer started, but quickly trailed off.

"He was going to spend it on a Cloner, which is useless."

"So we very peacefully... protested... that idea..."

"I stabbed him. She didn't stop me."

"...very peaceful..."

The Magiturge somberly took their hat from their head, holding it to their chest. "Perhaps I did not say that how I meant it. I specifically entrusted our funds to the Mercenary. Just how I entrusted operation and team planning to the Agent. I did this because, unlike you two, I can trust them to put our mission before their own biases. Rightfully so, if the past five minutes are any indication."

The Tinkerer looked uncomfortable. "We just... disagreed with him. On... how we should spend the cash."

"I'm not done," the Magiturge grumbled. "Until we gain access to higher paying contracts, we have very — VERY — limited funds. I thought I could at least expect the both of you to not squabble about it."

"I... I'm sorry..."

The Magiturge sighed and looked over to the Disquieted One. "And you?"

The Disquieted One silently crossed their arms, their mostly-hidden face still screaming anger.

"I wouldn't be wasting time, you owe the Mercenary and Skinner an apology too."

"Stab wounds are trivial to Skinner. The Mercenary is probably fine already."

"You know, while the Agent does have command of our operations, I still have the executive control to... say... bar you from ever being placed in one," the Magiturge gently persuaded.

"Fine," the Disquieted One exhaled harshly. "Sorry."

The Magiturge nodded their head to the right, towards the medical bay. The Disquieted One understood enough, sulking off in that direction to give an apology to their injured teammate.

"Prick," the Disquieted One mumbled — not entirely to themselves — as the door to medical slid open, the Noob exiting quickly. They recoiled hard as the Disquieted One feinted a punch at them, laughing to themselves when the grunt slammed into the doorframe and disappeared into the medical bay as the door slid down behind them.

"Well... it's nice to see they didn't learn anything, at least," the Magiturge said under their breath as the Noob approached, rubbing their now bruised shoulder.

"I don't get why you all keep fighting. Aren't we all the same person?"

"You don't get it because you don't have a personality," the Tinkerer defended sourly, taking the opportunity to exit as well, towards the helipad ramp. "I'm nothing like that edgy asshole."

The Noob held out their hands in a speechless gesture. "I just got here, why am I getting insulted?"

The Magiturge sighed and turned to leave back towards the dormitories, leaving the Noob alone again.

"Hn," the Noob muttered to no one. "You are a prick."

After checking if Bert had any new supply yet — he didn't, still waiting for the Agent and Offering to return from their Fast Track operation — the Noob moved out into the station hub, regarding the sleeping Massive by the windows before crossing the room toward the dormitories, searching for something to alleviate the boredom.

They paused just before reaching the door, furrowing their brow. Was that breathing on the other side? More like growling. They shifted their feet trying to hear it better, and the sensor above the door buzzed green as it opened.

The Noob was thrown to the ground, skidding back painfully across the concrete a short distance before coming to a stop. Not even getting a half-second to feel the pain, a heavy weight quickly crashed down on top of them, knocking the wind out of them with force. When they were finally able to force their own eyes open, they saw the bared maw of the Experiment snapping at them, apparently readying for a real strike.

"Get off, you... fucking demon-thing..." the Noob groaned, futilely trying to push it back with trapped arms.

For a moment, the Noob thought they were making some progress when they felt the weight get lighter on their chest, and then more when it was forced off them entirely. They sat up, looking for the Experiment, and saw the Massive towering above them, trying to wrangle the thrashing, growling creature.

They crawled back as the Massive dropped to her knees, readjusting her grip to chokehold it and force it into the ground as it's claws swiped at her, most missing or doing barely anything against her tough skin.

"Need help with this thing," the Massive growled, but clearly too strained to yell any louder.

"Hey! The Experiment's going crazy, somebody get in here!" The Noob called louder, picking themselves up off the floor and jumping on the Experiment's bucking lower half to help hold it down — not to much effect.

After a few seconds of trying to hold the monster still, including the Noob getting grazed by a foot to the face more than once, the door to the quartermaster's shop opened and the Mercenary rushed out, clutching a baton.

The Mercenary spied the confrontation on the other side of the room, and started picking up speed towards them, winding the baton back with both hands.

The shock baton crackled with blue energy as the Mercenary ripped it forwards, striking the Experiment in the face with a heavy baseball swing and making it recoil violently. The Massive and the Noob finally lost their grip and backed off, moving around to its front, both expecting a retaliation.

None came as the creature only whined like an injured animal, clawing at where the baton hit as if it was trying to get the lingering electric sensation away from it. Realizing it couldn't, it only wailed louder and retreated, back through the dormitories and disappearing through the gymnasium.

None of the three gave chase, all collectively breathing their sighs of relief and shaking out their tired limbs.

The Noob cracked their back, wincing at the feeling of the scrapes along it, and turned to their two saviors. "You were that thing?"

"That surprises you? You become that thing," the Mercenary switched the shock baton off before stowing it on his back.

"That's..." the Noob tried to calm their breathing. "Shit... our life is... fucked, isn't it?"

The Massive grunted what was probably an affirmative and made her way back to the station hub windows, getting comfortable and going back to looking at the rainy cityscape.

The Noob had just hung their head when they felt a hand clasp their shoulder. "I'm okay, just some small scratches—"

"I'm not okay," the Mercenary said, his voice becoming more strained as he put more of his weight into the Noob. "I think I reopened my stitches. Take me to Skinner."

"Shit, are you... can you walk, or—"

"Just get going, I only need you for su— fuck," he grunted. "Support. Just go."

The Noob noted the growing patch of red in the camo clothes beneath the Mercenary's other hand, and decided it really was best to just start walking.