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"Painful."
How he had come to hate that one word. That 7 letter word that seemed to ruin his mood every time it was said. If words were people, he would've punched it dead in the face.
Karamatsu ignored his feelings, and pushed his sunglasses up his nose, as they had begun to slip from its position on his nose. He smiled towards his brothers. "Im going up to the roof, brothers, do not worry about me, I will just be-"
Something hit him in the side of the head. Karamatsu sighed inwardly, and bit his tongue. He held onto the head of the guitar tighter, his rough hands digging into the strings. He left the room that with held his brothers, all of them doing their own thing.
As he got onto the roof, the smell of cologne left him (not his own, however his smelt better than the others. Not that he would say that), and the smell of fresh air entered his lungs.
He played for a small while, his mind blank. But as words crept into his mind, his head began to hurt more, and it was getting too hard to focus on playing and he placed the guitar next to him, nearing tears.
He tried to focus on anything else, the feeling of the leather jacket rubbing against him, the blue sky above him, the heated roof, the buildings and skyscrapers near by, the cars below.
But nothing helped. The whispers became screams, and before he knew it he was crying and grabbing at his hair.
'They hate you.' 'Painful.' 'Idiot, you cant do anything right.' He just wanted it to stop. He wanted it all to stop. He felt like he was going to puke.
Static built up in his mind, horrible horrible static he wanted to rid of. He wish for the sweet release of death.
He vaguely noticed he moved his hands away from his hair, to not rip out his hair, and his hands wrapped themselves around his waist, almost like giving himself a hug. He was just gonna have to ride this out, wasnt he?
Or maybe he could jump off the roof.
'Its not like anyone would care.'
'Yes they would, my brothers-'
'They chose PEARS over you. They hate you. They wouldnt care. Just die. No one cares.'
Karamatsus nails dragged against his sides, and dug into his skin. Hot tears streamed down his face, he felt like he couldnt calm down.
"P-please... St-stop.." He muttered, standing. He didnt know why. He really didnt know why- he couldnt leave the roof..
Unless he jumped off. And when he found himself leering to the edge, he felt a firm grip on his shoulder. It had to be one of his brothers, they mustveheardhiscommotionandshit, they were gonna torment him forever now about this.
"..." Karamatsu went silent, hot tears sliding down his face. He took out his sunglasses, and pushed them up. He plastered a coy smile on his face, forgetting about the tear stains down his face.
"H-h-hello, buraza..." Against his will, his voice cracked as he turned. Tears still blurring his vision, he saw a purple blob- oh god, why did it have to be Ichimatsu hewasjustgoingtotormenthimpohgod.
He didnt notice that he jerked his arm away from Ichimatsu quickly, and soon enough he felt a falling sensation.
But wait- something grabbed him, and had wrapped themselves around him before he could fall for long.
The moments that passed were a blur, as they re entered the house, and he remembered a slamming door and being sat down. When he opened his eyes, he was alone, in the guest room.
What had happened? Everything was happening too fast. Tears still rolled down his face which was hidden by his sunglasses. He took off his sunglasses, and saw a tear drip off them.
Suddenly they were flung at the wall, and he felt like he couldnt breathe.
'They hate you.'
'Ichimatsu just brought you down because you were bothering the cats.'
'You are supposed to be the cool one, freak. You cant do anything right.'
He heard the door open as his breathing got faster. He heard a quiet muttering, and something being thrown over him, warmth and darkness covered him. He jolted- the darkness wasnt really welcome. Did he-?
The blanket was ripped off his head, and wrapped around his body. He could tell whoever was trying to help, was trying to be gentle but just didnt know how. Arms wrapped around his body the best they could, and he heard quiet murmurs.
Deep gulps of air were taken, and sobs turned into sniffles as time proved. But the one thing that didnt change was the arms wrapped around him.
Who was even there? Once Karamatsu gathered the strength to turn and see, his eyes partially unclouded by tears, and he saw messy hair, but otherwise from that he couldnt see any other details.. Maybe one of his brothers had uh, forgotten to brush their hair.
(He actually knew who it was. He didnt want to admit it. He was scared to.)
"...buraza, uh.." Karamatsu said in the calmest voice he could manage- given he had just gotten over crying, and that one of his brothers had caught him in the act. Ichimatsu, in that fact. "Uh.. You can let me go.." He muttered, but the male shook his head.
As Karamatsu sighed and relaxed into the hug, he heard the other mutter something.
Karamatsu hummed inquisitively, asking for him to speak again.
"Mmm.. Sorry.." He muttered, finally he moved so he could see the elder.
(He knew it, why the hell would it be anyone else?)
"Its fine buraza.." Karamatsu avoided his gaze. The normally apathetic, halflidded eyes he was used to seeing were more open than they usually were, and were pulled into a worried gaze. His eyebrows furrowed, looking like he was fighting what to say.
"He was forced to come up here wasnt he he was none of this was sincere of course he doesnt care hes just-" Karamatsus breath quickened.
"Karamatsu-niisan." Ichimatsu pulled Karamatsus chin so Karamatsu would look at him in the face.
"I know, I know this whole message will come out poorly but I'm so so sorry about all these years that I've been so shitty to you. Sh- Karamatsu, I really do care about you, I just suck at conveying it I get if you dont forgive me but just know I care, okay..." Ichimatsu rambled, but Karamatsus breathe slowed, getting the gist. Ichimatsu sat and caught his breath for a moment- he had spoken a lot more than he had in a while in that short while.
The voices screaming at him got quieter, but he couldnt help voicing his concerns. "..you really mean it?"
Ichimatsu looked him dead in the eyes. "Of course I mean it, Karamatsu."
The voices tried to scream more, screaming he was lying, he didnt care, but Karamatsu pushed them down, self control taking over and leaving the voices to bother him another day.
Karamatsu couldnt help a small smile and threw himself onto Ichimatsu, hugging him tightly. Ichimatsu froze for a moment, then hugged back.
"I love you, buraza.." Karamatsu whispered, hugging the fourth brother tightly, arms around his neck.
Ichimatsu had his arms hooked under Karamatsus, and his hand messed with Karamatsus hair. "I love you too, Shittymatsu." He felt Ichimatsu tense when he said the last part, but Karamatsu had to admit, 'Karamatsu' rolling off of Ichimatsus tongue sounded odd and... Wrong. And the way Ichimatsu said it was meant in a kind way, so he didnt take offense to it. He looked down and kissed Ichimatsu in the messy nest of hair, as his head was buried in his chest.
They stayed that way for a while, just hugging. "Ichimatsu, did you tell the others about...?" Karamatsu muttered, breaking the silence of the hug. "No.. None of them are home. They uh, left to do something. I just heard.." Ichimatsu said, droning mildly.
"Can I ask for a favour?" Karamatsu asked. He felt Ichimatsu nod. "Could you uh.. Not bring up this uh, happened? They'll probably just torment me about it, heh."
He felt Ichimatsu sigh, then looked up. "I wont mention it. My lips are sealed."
"Thanks."
"Its no problem."
They resumed the position, not having any motivation to go anywhere else, and Karamatsu, tired from all the tears and panic, fell asleep. Ichimatsu wasnt far behind his lead.
They didnt have the luck of awaking before the others came back- pictures were taken for blackmail.
However, no one asked exactly why they were more or less snuggling, or the tear tracks down Karamatsus face. They were glad they didnt.
A question not asked, is an answer untold after all.