Chapter Text

Ravenpaw’s Welcome 

Prologue:

Two tom cats stood at the edge of the river, one with grey fur and the other a blazing fire color pelt. Their foreheads were pressed together and the grey tom was mewing, “Together forever.” 

“Forever,” echoed the orange tom and twined his tail with his mate’s. 

The two cats smiled at each other and their noses touched a delicate, loving contact that lasted no more than a heartbeat. The best of friends, the best of mates. With a great leap the orange tom leaped upon the gray tom bowling him over and held him delicately between his front paws. 

“I love you,” two voices whispered in the quiet of the starry night. 

Chapter One: 

Ravenpaw held his paw up as dust motes danced among the dawn light in the barn. He could smell the fresh hay, hear the barn animals rustle below, and most important of all feel Barley pressed against his back. Ravenpaw let out a satisfying purr as he stretched luxuriously kneading his paws into his best friend’s back. 

Barley woke up with a good natured grunt mumbling, “Keep your paws to yourself!” as he stretched his jaws wide in a yawn. 

Ravepaw just chuckled and continued kneading Barley’s back. “Doesn’t that feel good though?” 

Barley sighed and mocked rolled his eyes. He jumped up and groomed scraps of hay from his pelt. Ravenpaw followed his lead. His pelt tingled with excitement at being so close to the handsome tom. Ever since Firestar and Graystripe brought him here, no, ever since Barley had saved them from the rat attack when Bluestar was still alive Ravenpaw had felt a crush hidden in the recess of his heart start to grow for Barley. Ravenpaw kept his feelings hidden from his friend for fear of ruining their friendship. It was normal for same gendered cats to become mates in the clans, something kittypets and sometimes rouges did not understand. 

Even Ravenpaw’s best friends Graystripe and Firestar had fallen for each other formally asking to become mates. Ravenpaw had been ecstatic when they visited and brought the good news. It was a relief to hear they had finally figured out their feelings for each other. Now if only Ravenpaw could follow in their footsteps and tell Barley how he really felt.

“Ready to go?” Barley had finished grooming and was looking expectantly at Ravepaw. 

Ravenpaw nodded a lump of emotion in his throat. He followed the black and white tom out of the barn. He and Barley had fallen into the routine of taking relaxing walks around the farm. It was something Ravenpaw was always excited to do with Barley but especially today. Today was the day Ravenpaw would tell Barley how he felt. On Firestar’s and Graystripe’s last visit, Ravenpaw had confessed he liked Barley to which Graystripe had purred and said that had been obvious to them for some time. Ravenpaw had been embarrassed, but Firestar said that every cat had been there at least once. 

“My advice,” Firestar had said, “is to take him to some place where you both feel comfortable. If you feel it’s the right time then tell him. If you don’t then don’t.” 

“But is it really that simple?” Ravenpaw had protested. 

Graystripe rested a comforting tail on the black tom’s shoulder. “It’s less complicated than you think. Once you start talking, it becomes easier to confess your feelings.”

Firestar twitched his tailtip, “I remember a certain cat who couldn’t stop stumbling over his words.” He gave Graystripe a lick on his cheek. 

Graystripe had replied, “Okay, so it wasn’t that easy for me, but at least I finally figured out where my heart lies. With you.” 

Firestar’s tail had curled around the gray tom’s shoulders drawing him close. 

Ravenpaw had sighed wishing he and Barley could be like that one day. A tail flicking his ear jolted him back to the present. 

“You okay Ravenpaw?” asked Barley, “Is something on your mind?” 

Ravenpaw took a breath. He knew it was time, but his paws wouldn’t stop shaking with nervous energy. “Actually, yeah I do, but not here.” He bounded a little ways forward, Barley following, confusion shadowing his face along with concern. 

Ravenpaw found a small clearing with the wheat folded over on itself creating a dusty cave. The ground was warm and soft with fresh dirt heated by the sun. 

This was the perfect place. 

Ravenpaw sat down Barley next to him and took a deep breath, “I don’t want you to think any differently of me, but I want you to know.” 

Barley sighed, “I knew this was coming.” 

Ravenpaw looked up in surprise. “You know?” 

Barley nodded, “Ever since Firestar and Graystripe have been visiting you’ve been different. Always staring into space like your mind was elsewhere. If you want to go back I won’t hold you here.”

Go back ? What did Barley mean?

“I know you miss the forest,” Barley continued. 

“Wait, t-that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about!” Ravenpaw didn’t want Barley to get the wrong idea. 

“But I thought…” Barley let his voice trail off. 

“I don’t ever want to leave you!” Ravenpaw continued putting as much force into his tone as he could. “I could never leave you. I want us to always be together, because I love you. I want us to become mates.”

Barley’s eyes stretched wide with surprise. “I-I thought you wanted to go back to ThunderClan.” 

“No, I want to stay here with you,” Ravenpaw touched his nose to Barley’s ear. “I love you.” he murmured as gently as the wind blowing outside. 

Barley closed his eyes as love overflowed his heart bringing emotion to his eyes. “I-I love you too.” 

The two tom cats brought their foreheads together. Neither had to say anything else, they knew the answer and the answer was yes . 

…

That night as they lay together among the hay, the stars shining brightly above they formally became mates. 

My best friend and my mate. Ravenpaw thought as he lay under Barley. “I love you,” he said, licking Barley's cheek. Ravenpaw shut his eyes as something tightened in his stomach. 

“I love you more,” Barley replied, emotion tightening his throat. 

Ngh, Ravenpaw’s tail curled in pain, then relaxed as he focused on his breathing steadily exhaling.   

Barley laid down beside Ravenpaw exhausted. He drew a paw across his ear panting slightly. “Whew! I haven’t felt that good in a while. How are you holding up?” 

Ravenpaw arched his back and stretched his forepaws in front of him, his claws raking satisfyingly through the hay. “Surprisingly  good.” he replied joyfully, “Although I’ll be sore tomorrow.”

Barley licked his shoulder to hide his embarrassment. “Sorry, I should’ve gone easy on you.” 

Ravenpaw flicked his friend over the ear with the tip of black tail. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m happy we can be together like this. I’m happy you’re my mate.” 

“I feel the same.” Barley tugged Ravenpaw down until they were laying side by side looking up at the stars through the spaces between the boards of the barn roof. 

“It’s a beautiful night.” Barley remarked. 

Ravenpaw agreed. It was beautiful. The stars were shining bright as if his ancestors approved of his choice for a mate. 

A few sunrises later and they were on their way to Twoleg place to visit Barley’s sister Violet. They had visited plenty of times before, but this time they were bringing the news that they were mates. Ravenpaw’s belly tightened with nervousness, he hoped she would approve. 

“She will,” Barley said as if he could tell what Ravenpaw was thinking and gave him a reassuring lick around the ear. 

The acrid tang of the Twoleg place made Ravenpaw’s nostrils flare in disgust. Nausea roiled in stomach and he almost stopped walking, struggling to keep it down. For some reason it smelled especially bad today. Finally they saw the white picket fence where Violet resided. 

“Hi you two!” She greeted them in the back garden. Four heads popped out from her fur. Four tiny kits scrambled out and greeted the farm cats enthusiastically. 

“Hi!” 

“Hello!” four tiny voices greeted them. 

“Who are you?” 

“Where do you come from?”

“So many questions!” Violet chided her kits. 

Their tiny bodies swarmed Ravenpaw and Barley. 

“Er hi,” Ravenpaw mewed shyly. He swished his tail out of the way of two kits that tried to jump on it. 

“Lulu, Patch!” Violet called harshly, “Behave yourselves please,” 

“You smell funny,” an orange kit that looked almost like Firestar, mewed. 

“Bella! That’s rude to our guests. Riley come here.” Violet beckoned with her tail to a gray striped one that was stalking Barley’s tail, that reminded Ravenpaw of Graystripe. 

“Go to your mother,” Barley said, his eyes soft as he nudged the gray kit in the direction of Violet. 

Violet sighed and said, “Kits!” to her brother. Ravenpaw and Barley spent a few moments tiring the kits out and once Violet got her kits settled down, all three cats settled themselves on the raised platform. 

“What a nice surprise, Barley.” Violet said. “What brings you two here?” 

“Well,” Barley cast a glance at Ravenpaw who let out a purr. “We have some exciting news to share. Ravenpaw and I have become mates.” 

Violet’s eyes stretched wide with surprise. “Oh, how wonderful! I’m so happy for you both!” 

“Thanks,” Barley purred, Ravenpaw laid his tail across his mate’s shoulders. 

“We wanted to share the news with you first.” Ravenpaw mewed. 

“I’m honored.” There was a smile in Violet’s voice. 

One of Violet’s kits, Bella, Ravenpaw thought, crawled out from her place among some colored soft Twoleg pelts and padded up to Ravenpaw. “Where are you from?” she asked. 

“The farm,” Ravenpaw replied, “It’s a ways from here.” 

“Do you have kits?” 

Ravenpaw stiffened in surprise. “N-no,” 

“Do you want kits?” 

Ravenpaw hesitated. Did he want kits? It was common knowledge, although it was rare, that some toms had the ability to carry kits like she-cats, but Ravenpaw had heard that the pregnancy was longer and more difficult than a queen’s pregnancy and besides he was sure he didn’t carry that ability within him. 

As he searched for an answer, Violet shooed her kit back into the pelts. 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized to Ravenpaw. “Bella is just such an inquisitive kit.” 

“It’s no problem," Barley replied. As if sensing Ravenpaw’s discomfort, he stood up. 

“Well, we’d better get going. See you soon Violet!” 

Ravenpaw followed Barley, calling out a farewell over his shoulder. 

“Visit again soon!” Violet and the kits said in unison. 

As they walked back home, Barley said, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but have you thought about kits?” 

Ravenpaw shook his head, too breathless to speak. Playing with the kits had left him winded. “I haven’t put much thought into it.” he managed to puff out. Why was he so tired? “I’m sure I don’t have the ability. Sometimes there are signs a tom might have that ability like wider stature or a noticeable scent. But I’ve n-never experienced anything like that.” 

He halted his chest heaving as he fought for air. 

“Let’s rest for a while,” Barley suggested, leading Ravenpaw to a soft patch of moss under a large wooden Twoleg structure. 

Why do I feel so weak today? Ravenpaw wondered. He never got this winded on their walks around the farm. He crouched with Barley’s tail stroking soothingly along his back as he caught his breath. 

“All right,” he said as his breathing evened out. “I feel much better so we should-” a loud yowl cut him off. 

“What are you here?” A harsh voice demanded. A brown tabby tom was standing in front of them fur bristling in anger.

You don’t belong here. This is our territory!” Another tom said standing next to the first one. A she-cat stood behind them flexing her claws menacingly. 

“We’re just passing through,” Barley started to explain. 

“Get lost!” The she-cat shrieked and lunged toward him. 

“Run!” Barley pushed Ravenpaw in front of him, but the she-cat was faster, she dodged cutting off their escape and raked her claws down Ravenpaw’s side. 

Blood gushed out of the wound and he gasped in pain. His old warrior training came flooding back and he shoved her out of the way leaping on top of her and clawing her sides. 

With a massive push she dug her back paws into his belly, throwing him off. 

White hot pain blinded Ravenpaw and he let out an anguished yowl. He landed hard on the ground barely aware of Barley bending over him. 

“Leave them alone!” Violet’s yowl cut through the pain and Ravenpaw lifted his head to see the orange she-cat pin the white she-cat to the ground. She growled threateningly 

 at the two toms. “Go Barley! Take Ravenpaw and get out of here!” 

Somehow, Barley managed to nudge his mate to his paws and they took off in the opposite direction. 

“V-Violet,” Ravenpaw gasped out, his belly was cramping and his lungs burned with the need for air. 

“She’ll be fine,” Barley reassured Ravenpaw as he ran. “She’s a lot tougher than you think.”

Paws thundered behind the two fleeing cats and with horror Ravenpaw realized that one of the toms had broken through and was chasing them. 

“Through here!” Barley found a hole in a fence and shoved Ravenpaw through first then scrambled after him. 

“You won’t get away!” the furious tom yelled as he followed. 

“Don’t stop!” Barley’s eyes were wide with fear and he urged Ravenpaw on. They ran until the sound of the strange tom chasing them faded. 

“We’ll be safe here for a bit,” Barley said as he surveyed the clearing the stumbled into. 

Ravenpaw barely registered his mate’s words before he was vomiting red blood onto the ground. His belly felt awful. Pain shot through his body as he huddled on the ground leaning against Barley for support. 

“Just breathe,” Barley murmured. Shadows swam behind Ravenpaw’s eyes. Pawsteps sounded behind them and the dark tom burst into view. 

“Found you,” he snarled, “Maybe this will teach you to respect our territory.” He aimed a blow at Barley who blocked and neatly dodged out of the way. He had to keep the tom busy so Ravenpaw could escape, but just as Ravenpaw was getting ready to attack from behind a blow struck him on the head and he fell forward, stars flashing in his vision. 

A snarl sounded in his ears. 

“There won’t be a next time.” A deep voice cackled. 

“No!” Barley cried, “Someone, anyone, help!” 

“Warriors to me!” A flash of orange fur and a faint familiar voice was all Ravenpaw could barely distinguish before he lost consciousness. 

Chapter Text

Chapter Two:

Ravenpaw awoke to find himself in a clearing. Above his head, stars shone brightly. 

Where am I? He wondered as he got to his paws. 

“Ravenpaw,” a sweet voice called him. A she-cat with stars in her fur, sitting near a creek, beckoned to him with her plumy silver tail. 

“Silverstream!” Ravenpaw gasped. “Is this StarClan? Did…” he swallowed thickly, “Did I die?” 

“No,” she purred, “But you were severely injured. Cinderpelt barely managed to save you.” Her eyes darkened with sadness. “Come sit by the water’s edge with me.” 

Nervously, Ravenpaw padded over. 

Silverstream stoked his back with the tip of her tail. “Come, look into the water. What do you see?” 

Confused, Ravenpaw stared into the blue water. Tiny kits tumbled in a nursery surrounded by soft moss. A warm sticky feeling arose in Ravepaw as he gazed at the scene remembering his own days in the nursery with Graykit and his mother a loving presence watching over him. 

“I see kits,” he mewed. 

Silverstream licked his ear sadness in her blue eyes. 

“They remind me of my days in the nursery, but why are you showing me this?” 

Silverstream sighed, "Remember you are not alone. Your friends and your mate will stand by you always. We will always be watching over you.” 

“What do you mean?”  

What does that mean?   

“Do not fear,” Silverstream whispered tightly. The vision started to fade. 

“Wait, don’t go!” Ravenpaw felt her vanishing until only her scent was left and even that faded like dew in the morning. “Silverstream!” 

Ravenpaw struggled to open his eyes as pain racked its claws deep in his belly. 

“Hold him still!” a voice shouted. 

Ravenpaw thrashed as strong paws held him down. Fear flashed through him. 

“Barley!” he tried to call out, but his voice failed him. Darkness crowded around him. He thought he could see the blue eyes of Cinderpelt the medicine cat, but they vanished as quickly as they appeared. Ravenpaw thought of his mate, handsome and strong, urging him to fight when all he wanted to do was curl up and cry. 

Oh, Barley, where are you?

…

Barley uncurled himself from his nest in the Warriors den. The sun cruelly stung his eyes as he padded out, as if mocking him. A hunting patrol was headed back into camp, prey held tightly in the warriors jaws. If it wasn’t for the timing of Firestar’s patrol he, Ravenpaw, and Violet would never have been saved, Ravenpaw especially. The black tom was struck by a dangerous blow that nearly killed him. He lay unconscious in Cinderpelt’s den. The gray medicine cat had stayed up countless nights to ensure he made it. She said Ravenpaw was out of danger for now, but the cost was too great. Barley’s unseathed his claws and dug them into the dirt as he remembered. 

Firestar had flashed into view a patrol right behind him. He had heard Barley’s pleas for help. Firestar and his warriors attacked the kittypets and drove them out of the forest. Violet had helped emerging from the battle with only a few scratches. Cinderpelt cleaned her up and sent the queen back to her kits. 

But it was Ravenpawn whom she turned her attention to. The black tom was lying on his side, blood welling up from claw marks on his belly. 

“Get him back to camp as quickly as you can!” She told the other warriors. Barley limped after them worry for his mate coursing through him. “Save him, please!” he pleaded with Cinderpelt. ‘I’ll do all I can.” she had replied grimly. 

For days afterwards Barley watched over his mate as Cinderpelt tended to him. Today marked the fifth day they had been here in the ThunderClan camp and Barley was frightened his mate would never wake up. 

He looked at the fresh kill pile with a plump squirrel on top, but it didn’t entice him. How could he eat when his mate was injured? Pawsteps sounded and he turned to see Sandstorm. Her eyes glittered as she rushed up to him. “He’s awake!” 

At first Barley thought he heard wrong so he asked her to repeat what she said. 

“He’s up and asking for you!” 

“He’s really awake?” 

Sandstorm nodded, “He woke earlier, but Cinderpelt wanted to let him rest naturally. Now he’s more lucid and looking for you.”

Nodding his thanks, Barley sped off in the direction of the medicine den. He was happy his mate was awake, but his heart was dreading to tell him the true extent of his injuries. 

…

Ravenpaw opened his eyes. He was in a nest in a mossy area. 

The medicine den. He thought. A rough tongue licked the top of his head. 

“Swallow this,” Cinderpelt’s voice ordered. 

Ravenpaw recoiled as a sharp taste hit his tongue. 

“It will help,’ she urged him. 

Obediently, he swallowed the medicine. 

“B-Barley?” he stammered out. 

“Don’t worry,” she soothed him. “Sandstorm has gone to get him.”

Ravenpaw sniffed at his pelt. His stomach was bandaged in cobwebs and smelled of herbs. He felt stabbing pains in his belly if he moved too much. 

A familiar scent washed over him from the mouth of the medicine den. Barley. 

His mate looked exhausted. There were circles under his eyes. 

“Y-you’re okay,” Emotion made it hard for Barley to speak as he bent his head to rasp his tongue on Ravenpaw’s head. 

“Better now that you’re here,” Ravenpaw mewed. 

Cinderpelt touched her tail to Barley’s shoulder. They shared a look of something unspoken being held back. She padded out of the den to, Ravenpaw supposed, report to Firestar. 

“I’ve missed you,” Barley whispered, bowing his head. 

Ravenpaw winced as he touched Barley’s muzzle with his own, as he asked, “What’s wrong? I’m okay now. Cinderpelt did a great job of healing me. There’s no better medicine cat than her.”

Barley sat down with a heavy sigh. “I’m so, so sorry to tell you this, but she thought it’d be better hearing it from me.” 

Ravenpaw twitched his tail anxiously. He waited to hear what Barley had to say. When Barley spoke, Ravenpaw felt as if a hole had opened up and he was falling into the darkness. 

“You were expecting our kits.” Barley’s voice buzzed in his ears. Ravenpaw was shocked into silence, grief clawing at his heart. Were. Not, are. 

“S-She said, you were injured too badly to save them. She couldn’t…” Tears fell from Barley’s eyes. “I’m so sorry. She did her best, but you were hurt too badly. Cinderpelt doesn’t think the kits survived. M-maybe in the future you will be healed enough to carry again, but she says it’s not likely…” 

“No, no…” Ravenpaw wondered. He thought back to his nausea, the pain in  his stomach if he ate too much. The tiredness that dragged at his paws. He was pregnant or had been... 

“No! That-that can’t be true. It can’t!” Ravenpaw gulped air as if it were water. His chest heaved as his heartbeat thundered in his ears. 

Barley covered Ravenpaw’s face in fierce licks, mumbling apology after apology. 

Something broke in Ravenpaw’s heart. The kits he and Barley should have had, gone. Just like that. 

Spurred by Ravenpaw’s wails, Cinderpelt rushed in. “Ravenpaw, please calm down! You’ll be okay. I promise! If you get too upset you could open your wounds up again.”

Ravenpaw ignored her and tried to stand. “I don’t care!” he snarled. 

“Please,” Barley pleaded, “Ravenpaw I can’t lose you too. I love you.” 

That made Ravenpaw pause in spite of his grief. His head spun. 

“Eat this,” Cinderpelt thrust something under his muzzle. “It will calm you. Then take these poppy seeds.” 

Ravenpaw shook his head. 

Barley crouched next to him pushing his nose into his black fur. Ravenpaw could feel him trembling. “Please eat the herbs.” 

“Okay,” Ravenpaw dipped his head to lap the herbs from Cinderpelt’s outstretched paw. His heart wasn't in it, but he knew Barley wouldn't stop pestering him until he ate the herbs. His heart aching, Ravenpaw curled up in his nest again, Barley by his side. Barley soothed him back to sleep with calming licks across his pelt. 

Chapter Text

The dream always starts the same way. I’m lying in our nest in the barn. The familiar sounds of the barn animals washing over me, the warm sun on my pelt. I’m not alone for long, Barley appears prey in his jaws. I let out a loving purr as he joins me, resting a paw on my growing belly. He makes some comments about our kits and I laugh. Just as I’m about to reply though, he’s gone. He was there one moment and the next…just…gone. I spin around trying to find him, but the darkness crowds in. It’s so dark I can’t see even the tiniest glimmer of light. I wail sorrow threatening to tear me apart. I see the kittypets again attacking me. It’s like I’m watching from outside my body, but I still feel the pain in my belly. “My kits!” I cry curling my tail around my stomach, sheltering myself from harm. Just as I’m about to lose it, I wake up. With a start, Ravenpaw woke up in his nest, in the medicine cat’s den. He let out a breath of relief as the wisps of his nightmare dissipated. “Give your body some time to heal,” Cinderpelt had said. “ There’s a chance to carry more in the future.” Ravenpaw was grateful she was trying to stay positive, when in reality the chances of carrying more kits was a low one. 

He nudged his way out of the den, careful not to wake Cinderpelt who was sleeping not too far away, to look at the stars fading in the dawn light. When the morning comes I manage to forget the dream. He thought to himself. But the pain will always remain. A harsh reminder of my failure. 

He missed the farm with its musty scent of hay and the sounds of the barn animals, but Cinderpelt had wanted to keep him until the wound on his belly was healed for the risk of tearing it open again and infection was high. The whole clan had been grieving along with him and Barley. Losing kits was every cat's loss.

 Ravepaw shivered and drew his tail around himself, fluffing up his fur for warmth. Sadness sat like a hard stone in his belly, weighing him down, making it hard to eat. Ravenpaw knew Barley felt it too, but his mate was trying his best to care for Ravenpaw; he was always bringing him food and checking on him everyday. 

The dawn light was strengthening and Ravenpaw could hear the ThunderClan cats waking up. 

“I have to get the dawn patrol together,” Graystripe was telling his and Firestar’s kits. 

“We want to come too!” A voice Ravenpaw recognized as high energy Squirrellkit, chirped.  

“Go back to the nursery, Dustpelt will look after the two of you.” 

Ravenpaw felt the beginnings of a smile, as Graystripe’s kits trotted, grumbling, back to the nursery. “We can sneak out later!” Leafkit, a quiet, but curious kit, mewed to her sister. 

“I heard that!” Graystripe called over his shoulder, “And you’d better not or else.” The kits squealed in laughter and ran back to their nest. 

Barley would always be willing to play with our kits. The thought barely popped into Ravenpaw’s head, before a nasty voice cut his wish in two. But you two will never have kits. The voice was right. Wasn’t it? Ravenpaw was too deeply injured. Cinderpelt had tried her best. Grief threatened to overwhelm Ravenpaw and he dropped to a crouch, closing his eyes. He wanted to wail, but he couldn’t make a sound. 

The branches rustled as Barley nosed his way in. Seeing Ravenpaw huddled on the ground he quickly crouched beside him licking his ear. “Are you okay? Should I get Cinderpelt?” he asked quickly. 

Ravenpaw shook his head. “I-I’ll be okay.” he straightened trying to look like he wasn’t shrouded with loss. 

Barley continued to lick Ravenpaw’s face. “It’s okay, my love.” he said, “We’ll figure something out. Just rest for now. It’ll be okay.” 

But will it? Ravenpaw wanted to cry, but he didn’t want Barley to worry, so he blinked away the moisture in his eyes and tried to force a purr in his throat. Cinderpelt padded yawning from her den. Her eyes grew warm when she saw Ravenpaw and Barley. 

“I’m going to the fresh-kill pile,” she mewed tactfully, guessing they’d want to be alone. “I’ll bring back something for two.” 

Barley nodded, “Thanks, Cinderpelt.” 

When she left, Barley turned back to Ravenpaw. “Are you eating enough? How’s your wound?” 

Ravenpaw rested his head against Barley’s shoulder. “I’m fine, honest. The pain’s mostly gone. I think Cinderpelt will let me travel in a few days and we can go home.” 

“I hope so,” Barley mewed. “I’m not used to this many cats. I’m ready for home too.” 

But they wouldn’t be able to go home. The next day Ravenpaw came down with a high fever which confirmed Cinderpelt’s fear. The wound had become infected. She sniffed Ravenpaw’s feverish pelt anxiously. “I just don’t understand.” she said, “I thought I was changing the dressings often enough. I gave him all the right herbs.” Her tail flicked behind her. 

Firestar rested his tail on her shoulder. “If anycat can help him, it’s you Cinderpelt. I have complete faith in you. I can send an apprentice to you to help out.” 

“We need more feverfew,” she agreed.

Barley offered to help out along with the apprentice Rainpaw. They helped Cinderpelt by gathering herbs and fetching fresh-kill. Soon the weather started to cool down signaling the end of greenleaf. Thankfully the fever broke and Ravenpaw grew stronger though he wasn’t able to go home yet. Cinderpelt did advise some light exercise. On one unusually warmer day Ravenpaw and Barley opted for a walk in the woods. 

Ravenpaw breathed in deeply savoring the rich smells of leaf-fall. 

“Did you see Graystripe and Firestar’s kits the other day?” Barley was mewing. He launched into a story of how the two mischievous kits had tried to sneak out of camp after the ThunderClan deputy had left on patrol. It was Sandstorm’s turn to watch them and she had caught them just outside the entrance into camp. 

Ravenpaw was only half listening, more focused on where he was putting his paws. They passed a patrol heading back into camp. Thornclaw who was leading the patrol nodded a greeting as they passed by. The other cats in the patrol, Brightheart, Bramblepaw, Ashfur, waved their tails in greeting, but didn’t stop because their jaws were full of prey. 

“Let’s rest here,” Barley meowed when the hunting patrol was gone. 

Ravenpaw gave silent agreement, too drained of energy to continue. He leaned against Barley’s shoulder as his mate made a temporary, but comfortable nest around them out of the red and gold leaves on the ground. Barley continued to talk as Ravenpaw gazed upwards. The sun was going down and he could see three faint stars beginning to appear. He felt oddly comforted by the stars almost as if they were an omen. Good or bad he couldn’t tell. The time they have spent in Thunder Clan was moving. It felt familiar to wake up and hear the sounds of the other cats going about their duties. Ravenpaw felt safe in the clan with Barley, but he still felt the pull of home. 

“Ravenpaw?” Barley had stopped speaking and was looking at his mate, worry in his eyes. 

Ravenpaw jerked his gaze to Barley, “Sorry, I was distracted.” 

Barley shook his head. “It’s okay,” he mewed softly. He drew Ravenpaw close, wrapping his tail around his shoulders. 

Ravenpaw felt a strong surge of love for his mate and buried his head in Barley’s black and white fur. 

“You can talk to me, you know that right?” Barley said softly. 

Ravenpaw gritted his teeth. It was so hard, but Barley was his best friend and mate. He would understand, probably more than any cat. “I-I just…I feel like such a failure. I-I’m so s-sorry. I’m so sorry, I couldn’t carry our kits. I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.” 

Barley listened, his eyes growing misty with tears.  “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Barley meowed. “Nothing was your fault. You’re not to blame for any of this!” 

Barley unsheathed his claws and dug them into the ground. “It’s those kittypets’ fault. They never should have attacked us - attacked you. You’re the strongest cat I know. Maybe we’ll have more kits in the future or maybe we won’t. What I do know,” Barley licked Ravenpaw’s ear. “What I do know,” he repeated, “Is that no matter what happens we’ll face it head on together. You’re my one and only Ravepaw.” 

Barley pressed their heads together as Ravenpaw sobbed. The guilt that had sat in his belly for so long started to melt. He would never forget what had happened, but he knew that Barley would be here to share his burden and to ease his burden with his love. 

“You are not a failure,” Barley whispered fiercely. 

“I-I believe you,” Ravenpaw cried. He cried and cried letting go of his grief. He would never stop missing his kits, but he knew Barley would be there every step of the way. “I love you.” They said at the same time. “I love you.”

Chapter Text

It was a cool leaf-fall morning in the ThunderClan camp. Ravenpaw was helping Sandstorm look after the kits since Graystripe’s duties as clan deputy kept him busy; Sandstorm would often volunteer to look after the rambunctious bunch. Ravenpaw still felt the pull of home, but spending time with Graystripe and Firestar’s kits had lessened the pull. Ravenpaw had forgotten how good it felt to be surrounded by clanmates young and old looking after each other. He would never be a warrior, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a strong sense of duty, honor, and justice. 

Ravenpaw flicked his tail along the ground for Squirrelkit and Leafkit to chase. Their squeals of laughter pierced the air and he smiled. 

“Go easy on Ravenpaw,” Sandstorm chided them, "Remember he hasn’t been feeling well.”

“We will!” Squirrelkit meowed. 

Ravenpaw winced as her tiny claws caught the tip of his tail. “Go easy kits,” he said. 

“There, you see? You’re being too rough and it’s time for your naps.” 

Leafkit sat back and cleaned her ears with her paws. Squirrelkit was still full of energy. “Do we have too?” she whined. 

“If  you want your father to come back faster yes,” 

Obediently, the kits followed Sandstorm into the nursery. “Bye Ravenpaw!” the two sisters called. 

He waved his tail at them and laid down wincing as a cramp gripped his belly. Cinderpelt limping awkwardly out of her den, because of her injured leg, noticed this. She set a leaf wrap of herbs down and asked, “Does your wound bother you? You should rest more and not play too hard with the kits.” 

Ravenpaw shook his head. “I’m fine, Cinderpelt.” He said as the medicine cat checked his belly wound. “It only hurts sometimes. I’m feeling much better.” 

They chatted a few moments more before the entrance to the camp rustled as a hunting patrol pushed their way in. Graystripe was in the lead with Cloudtail, Brackenfur, and Barley at the end. Barley’s eyes lit up when he saw Ravenpaw and he bounded over a mouse in his jaws. 

“Want to share this with me?” He mewed to Ravenpaw who agreed. 

Cinderpelt dipped her head and went back to her den. 

“I just got the kits down for a nap.” Sandstorm was telling Graystripe. “Thank you for all your help,” he mewed gratefully. 

She shook her head, “No thanks needed, it was Ravenpaw who helped in tiring them out.” 

Ravenpaw dipped his head to his old friend. “It was nothing,” he mewed modestly, pausing to swallow a bite of mouse. “Kits have a lot of energy!” 

Graystripe purred, “Yes, they do, especially Squirrelkit.” 

The sun warmed the fur on Ravenpaw’s back as he shared tongues with Barley. Another cramp gripped his belly and Ravenpaw had to pause to catch his breath. 

Instantly alert, Barley sat up. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing,” Ravenpaw panted, “It’s just a cramp. I think I ate too much fresh-kill,” he kept his mew light. “Cinderpelt already checked the wound today. She said I’m healing well and should be able to go home soon.” 

“I’m glad, I miss home.” Barley laid back down and rasped his tongue over Ravenpaw’s ear. 

Ravenpaw watched through half opened eyes at the activity in the ThunderClan camp. Cats lay here and there sharing tongues and the elders swapping gossip. Firestar was back from patrol and he was playing with his kits with Graystripe. Ravenpaw marveled at the way they had made a family. It was a long hard road for a tom give birth and raise kits. He wondered how Graystripe did it, supposed that being in a clan must have and still helps tremendously. Graystripe was able to carry on being deputy on top of raising two mischievous kits. How does he do it? He thought as he curled in his nest inside Cinderpelt’s den. A tongue rasping over his ear woke him. A silver-gray she-cat stood in front of him. Her blue eyes shone with some unknown emotion. “There’s always light in the darkness,” she said. 

Ravenpaw was confused. “Silverstream? What do you mean?” 

She purred, but said nothing more. Only licked the top of his head then vanished. “Light always shines even when you can’t see it.” 

Intense pain in his belly brought Ravenpaw into the waking world. “Ahh!” he curled into himself trying to ease the pain, but it kept coming. 

“Ravenpaw!” Cinderpelt’s voice high and panicky barely sounded through the haze of pain. Her paw pressed down on his belly. “Ravenpaw, eat this,” she shoved a strong smelling herb under his nose. 

“I-I can’t,” he gasped out. 

“You can!” She mewed fiercely. 

Feebly, he reached his tongue out and managed to swallow the herb. Gradually, with her paws massaging his stomach, the pain subsided to a dull ache. Cinderpelt nosed the fur on his stomach, then she sat back on her haunches. “Feeling better?” 

Out of breath, all he could do was nod. 

Cinderpelt twitched her tail. “What have you eaten?” 

“J-just a mouse earlier,” Ravenpaw meowed. 

“Hmm.” Cinderpelt tipped her head to one side. She had a theory as to why Ravenpaw was suddenly experiencing extreme cramping, but she didn’t want to raise his hopes until she had a chance to speak to Graystripe and Firestar. 

“Take these poppy seeds,” Cinderpelt held her paw out to him. Ravenpaw licked the black seeds up his expression growing sleepy. He yawned and curled up again. Cinderpelt went to the edge of her den and looked up at the sky. “Oh, StarClan,” she sighed, “I don’t know what to think. Is he strong enough? Will I be enough to get him through this? He’s still so weak. Please StarClan watch over us.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Five:

It was dark and cool in Firestar’s den under the rock in the middle of the clearing. Firestar was lying in his nest while Graystripe washed his flame colored ears. “It seems like he’s experiencing what you’ve experienced when you were carrying Squirrelkit and Leafkit,” Cinderpelt was meowing to Graystripe. Barley shifted and drew his tail tighter around his paws. Cinderpelt had caught him about to go on a border patrol with Cloudtail. She told him what had happened last night, her eyes shining with some unknown emotion. Barley’s heart had leaped into his throat, but she had said Ravenpaw was doing better, she had given him some herbs to help calm the cramps. Then they met with Firestar and Graystripe in Firestar’s den where Cinderpelt explained more. “I want to believe, but I’m scared,” she admitted, “His body is recovering and I don’t want to mistake his cramps for pregnancy ones.” 

Graystripe paused and nodded thoughtfully. “I get what you're saying,” he said, “But I think you may be right.” 

Cinderpelt’s ears flicked forward in surprise, “About?” 

“I’m no medicine cat, but from what you’ve told me, it does seem like he’s expecting. At least it seems similar to a tom’s pregnancy.” 

Hope blossomed like a tender flame in Barley’s chest. “Are you sure?” he dared to ask. 

Firestar sat up, “Only, you can confirm Cinderpelt. Trust your instincts. I have faith in you.” Graystripe nodded agreement. 

Cinderpelt closed her eyes, then blinked them open after a long moment. She took a deep breath, when she spoke her voice was strong and resolute, confident in her words. “I’m sure. He is expecting.” 

Ravenpaw yawned and stretched in his nest in the medicine cat’s den. His belly gave a twinge of pain, but he was used to it by now and it hardly bothered him. The days spent in Cinderpelt’s den had started to show in his swollen flanks. Perhaps it was time to start caring for himself. Ravenpaw purred, happy that Barley has been supportive, always bringing him the juiciest pieces of prey and encouraging him to take walks in the forest. A familiar scent touched Ravenpaw’s nose and he let out a sound of greeting as his mate pushed his way in. Barley locked eyes with Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw flicked one ear, Barley looked uneasy. “Barley,” he meowed, “It’s good to see you. What’s wrong?” 

Barley licked Ravenpaw’s ear and sat down beside him. “Cinderpelt told me about the cramps you’ve been having.” 

Ravenpaw flinched, “I didn’t want to worry you,” he whispered.“I will always worry about you, but you should have told me.” 

Ravenpaw looked down at his paws. “Are you mad at me?” 

Barley shook his head. “I’m not. That aside, I have news for you.” 

When Ravenpaw looked up instead of anger, he saw happiness in Barley’s blue eyes. “Those cramps, Cinderpelt says, are common. Graystripe has experienced them himself during the moons he was carrying his and Firestar’s kits.” Ravenpaw’s eyes widened in surprise. “Y-you mean…” 

Barley purred, “You’re expecting our kits!” 

Ravenpaw was overjoyed. Kits! He was expecting kits. He was expecting Barley’s kits. “StarClan above!” Ravenpaw breathed. He twisted and licked his swollen flank. The tiredness, the cramps, the nausea. How could he have missed he was pregnant ? It was a miracle. The kits he thought he had lost. He didn’t lose them at all. Somehow his body had preserved the tiny lives inside him. Ravenpaw buried his nose in Barley’s fur. The dream of Silverstream suddenly made sense. She was telling him that he was expecting. Ravenpaw let out a gasp of pain as something shifted inside him. 

“Ravenpaw?” Barley’s ears flicked forward in alarm. 

“I-I think…” he panted, “I think I just felt them move.” 

Barley’s eyes lit up and he rested his cheek against Ravenpaw’s belly. A kick jabbed his cheek and he jerked back in surprise, then let out a mrrow of amusement. “You’re right, they’re strong! Just like you.”His blue eyes grew soft as he gazed lovingly into Ravenpaw’s green eyes. Ravenpaw felt safe in Barley’s blue gaze, his scent wreathing around him. 

Thank you, Silverstream. Thank you. 

For the next few moons, Ravenpaw was made welcome in the nursery. “This is so exciting!” Brightheart exclaimed as she pawed together moss, her kit Whitepaw recently made an apprentice gather earlier, to make a nest for the expecting tom.“Guess, Graystripe and I won’t be the only toms in the nursery now,” Dustpelt had said, licking Ravenpaw’s shoulder in welcome. 

Ravenpaw was embarrassed by the attention, but secretly he was happy ThunderClan accepted him so readily. As the moons passed the weather grew colder, but there was still warmth in the air as leaf-bare had yet to make an appearance. As he curled in his nest that night, he could see Silverpelt shining with silvery light above. He felt restless and couldn’t sleep. Graystripe had told him he had gotten the best sleep of his life while pregnant, but for Ravenpaw it was difficult. He felt huge and the kits wiggled inside of him as if they could sense his uneasiness. Ravenpaw stretched again and padded out of the den. He didn’t want to wake Dustpelt or Sandstorm who were fast asleep curled around their kits. Ravenpaw skirted carefully around Graystripe who was sleeping near the entrance Squirrelkit yawned and curled tighter around her sister. Maybe a vole will make me sleepy. 

Ravenpaw smiled at the happy family and slipped outside to the fresh-kill pile and picked out a juicy looking vole and crouched to devour it in swift hungry bites. He licked his jaws, cleaning away the last juices of the vole. Once more he looked up and took comfort in bright stars. Thank you. He thought. It truly was a wonderful thing his and Barley’s kits managed to survive.

Chapter Text

 Ravenpaw stretched outside the nursery in a rare patch of sun making the most of it before leaf-bare. Graystripe’s and Firestar’s kits were growing fast, Squirrelkit and Leafkit expected to become apprentices any day now. Leafkit had taken a liking to the medicine cat Cinderpelt and hoped to be apprenticed to her, while Squirrelkit wanted to become a warrior’s apprentice. No matter what path the two sisters followed they knew they would be there for each other no matter what. 

Ravenpaw’s kits were wiggling in his belly, reminding him they would be born soon. The farm seemed a long ways away now, but Ravenpaw and Barley decided to have their kits here and travel back home when they were stronger. Ravenpaw looked around the clearing at the activity. Ferncloud and Dustpelt’s kits, Spiderpaw and Shrewpaw, were made apprentices only a few days ago and they were headed out to train with their mentors, Mousefur and Thornclaw. Brackenfur called to Whitepaw to join the three older apprentices, Rainpaw, Sorrelpaw, and Sootpaw, for battle training in the Sandy Hollow. Ferncloud, Dustpelt’s mate, was watching Squirrelkit and Leafkit as their fathers were out on patrol. Barley was padding from the freshkill pile a mouse in his jaws. Ravenpaw greeted his mate with a purr and twined his tail with his. 

Barley rested his cheek on Ravenpaw’s belly. His eyes closed in bliss. “They’re very active today,” he commented. 

“I can’t wait till they’re born,” Ravenpaw mewed. “It feels like I've been pregnant for ages!” 

They ate, sharing the mouse between them. Afterwards Barley cleaned Ravenpaw’s ears while he dozed in the sun listening to Squirrelkit’s and Leafkit’s excited squeals of laughter as they played. 

“Bet you can’t catch it!” Squirrelkit tossed the mossball she had high over Leafkit’s head. 

“Bet I can!” her sister puffed as she turned and leaped high to catch it. “Oof!” she landed in the dirt. The mossball thudded a tail-length from her outstretched paws. 

“You’re not hurt are you?” Squirrelkit asked. 

Leafkit shook her head. “I’m fine,” she insisted. “Throw it again!” 

Squirrelkit tossed the ball again, flinging it even higher than last time. Ravenpaw opened one and watched amused as Leafkit twisted to catch it. Suddenly, a shadow swept over the clearing. A harsh cry sounded and a huge bird with dark wings and gleaming eyes swooped down and fastened its claws in Leafkit’s pelt. “Help!” 

Reacting quicker than he ever had, Ravenpaw jumped up and leaped on the giant bird’s back. “Let her go!” he snarled. 

“Ravenpaw!” Barley cried. 

“Leafkit!” Ferncloud clawed at the bird’s eyes but it shook her off and she landed heavily in the dirt. 

Let her go! Ravenpaw bit down hard on its neck, spitting out feathers.

 It bucked trying to throw Ravenpaw off. Firestar and Graystripe appeared at the entrance into camp, their fur bristling, and with furious screeches they made for the bird’s wings and featherless legs. The clearing was loud with the snarls of furious cats and the bird’s screeches of fury. Finally the bird dropped Leafkit, Firestar snatched her up, then it shook Ravenpaw off and with a cry it flew away. 

Graystripe spat out a feather and said, “It better think twice about attacking camp again.” 

Firestar covered his daughter with fierce licks as Cinderpelt checked her for injuries. 

“Are you hurt?” Firestar asked breathlessly in between his licks. The tiny kit shook her head mute with terror. Squirrelkit pressed up close to her sister shaking like a leaf. Cinderpelt sat back on her haunches, “She’s okay, a bit shaken up, but I’ll get some herbs for the shock.”

“Why would a hawk decide to attack our camp?” Graystripe asked Firestar who shook his head. “StarClan knows.” 

Ravenpaw lay on his side breathing heavily with Barley leaning over him. “Cinderpelt!” he called to the medicine cat. “Are the kits okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” he asked Ravenpaw. 

Ravenpaw shook his head as Cinderpelt examined his belly.  

“You’ve got some serious movement in here.” She meowed, “It’s not everyday kits get to go flying. You’re doing fine.” She went on. “They’re just excited.” 

Ravenpaw lay his head back down and breathed a sigh of relief that quickly turned into a gasp as belly tightened. 

“Cinderpelt!” Barley cried again. 

“It’s okay,” She soothed, “The kits are coming. Ravenpaw can you get up? We need to move him into the nursery.” Cinderpelt told Barley. 

With Barley’s shoulder supporting him Ravenpaw managed to make it into the nursery where he collapsed in his nest. His body twisted around a spasm of pain. His whole world shrunk to fear and throbbing endless pain. “B-Barley!” 

“I’m right here,” His mate swept his tail across his pelt. Reassured the fear Ravenpaw felt ebbed a little. Herbs filled his nose as Cinderpelt dropped strong smelling leaves near his mouth. “Eat these. They will help.” Ravenpaw did as she said. The waves of pain kept coming one after the other. Ravenpaw panted as more waves of pain raked its claws across his belly. It didn’t fade away, instead it felt stuck throbbing somewhere deep in his stomach. Cinderpelt’s paws pushed on his stomach with a force that made him shriek out loud. The strong tang of blood welled around him. He was dimly aware of Cinderpelt sending Barley to find raspberry leaves. Am I going to die? He thought helplessly as the throbbing pain continued. Please StarClan. If nothing else. Let my kits live! 

He had never sent a prayer to StarClan since he had left the clans but he hoped they could hear him now. 

Barley raced back to the nursery with raspberry leaves in his jaws. Firestar paced outside nervously while Graystripe watched him with equal nervousness in his eyes, his tail wrapped around their two kits. 

“Will Ravenpaw be okay?” Squirrelkit asked. 

“I hope so.” Graystripe said. 

Barley scrambled inside and Cinderpelt snatched up the leaves to chew into pulp for Ravenpaw to lick up. Ravenpaw was barely conscious, his eyes dull with pain as he licked up some of the herbs from Cinderpelt’s paw. Barley’s throat felt closed up as he watched his mate struggling to give birth. She massaged his belly with one paw watching him intently. “I-Is…” Barley couldn't continue. He didn’t want to ask, but Cinderpelt guessed what he was going to say. “He’s okay,” She said, “This is normal. Sometimes a kit gets stuck more often in toms than queens. The swelling will go down soon. This was the same way with Graystripe.” She went on. Barley felt a little reassured. He bent down to lick his mate’s ears. I love you Ravenpaw. You cannot die. You have to live! 

Ravenpaw drew in gasping breaths. He felt the feather-light touch of Barley’s tongue across his ears and the simple loving act gave him courage. Ravenpaw groaned as Cinderpelt pressed her paws heavily on his stomach. The den looked lighter and he wondered how long he had been kitting. “It’s time.” Cinderpelt’s voice seemed to fade in and out. “You have to stay awake Ravenpaw!” Ravenpaw hadn't realized he had closed his eyes. Without opening them he whimpered. “I can’t.” 

“You can !” Barley’s blue eyes were fierce in the darkness. He held Ravenpaw close as a kit prepared to make its appearance.“That’s good,” Cinderpelt murmured. “Push Ravenpaw!” Her voice suddenly turned intense, empowering him. Ravnpaw yowled as a small bundle slid onto the grass. Cinderpelt immediately grabbed it and tore the sack from its tiny head. The kit let out a strong yowl. “Here, Barley,” she nudged it toward him. “Lick it the wrong way to warm it up.” 

“Oh, it’s so beautiful!” Barley purred. “It’s got your coloring Ravenpaw.” 

Ravenpaw had no time to admire his kit before another stab of pain made him wail. Cinderpelt leaned with such force on his belly that Ravenpaw thought she’d crush the breath out of him. Finally after a lot of pushing, a second kit slithered out, the membrane covering its head tore as it landed and it let out a loud yowl. Cinderpelt grabbed it and started licking it. “A tom and a she-kit,” she said joyfully. “Congratulations!” 

She nudged the two kits to Ravenpaw’s belly where they latched on and started sucking. Barley purred curling himself around his exhausted mate. Ravenpaw sighed as felt his kits suckle. “Thank StarClan.” His eyes closed as he slipped into comforting recess of sleep. 

Chapter Text

“We need to give them names,” Ravenpaw mused as he watched his kits suckle. The kits’ eyes were starting to open, green and blue, similar to their parents’ eye color. The remains of a rabbit, brought by the clan’s newest apprentice Squirrelpaw, lay on the ground. The two sisters walked different paths, but stayed as close as ever. Ravenpaw hoped his son and daughter would be as close as those two. Barley purred and nosed his daughter’s black fur. “Her fur is as dark as the night.” Ravenpaw agreed. “How about Nightkit for her?” 

“That works,” his mate mewed. “And maybe Mouse for the other? He’s as tiny as one!” They both purred in amusement. Ravenpaw was relaxed and content for what it felt like the first time in his life. The stress of Tigerstar had eaten away at him and almost pushed him over the edge, but with the help of his friends and Barley, Ravenpaw found a place, a home, where he could be his absolute self. The kits were growing fast and soon Ravenpaw knew it was time to head home. 

The day of their departure from Thunder Clan dawned cold and chilly signaling the end of leaf-fall and the start of leafbare. “Where are we going?” the kits squeaked tumbling around Ravenpaw’s paws. “To the place where your father and I are from.”

“I thought you came from here?” Nightkit blinked up at her father, her blue eyes curious. 

Ravenpaw shook his head, “We come from the farm.” 

“Is it far?” Mousekit asked. Barley licked his son between the ears. “No, we’ll help you.” 

“I wish you could stay longer,” Firestar said. He and Graystripe had come to see Ravenpaw and his family off. Graystripe rubbed his cheek against Ravenpaw’s. “My home is on the farm.” Ravenpaw said. “Our home.” 

“Stay safe, Ravenpaw, Barley,” Graystripe mewed softly. 

Cinderpelt padded up with traveling herbs in her jaws. “Strengthing herbs,” she said as she set them in front of Ravenpaw and Barley, “For the journey home, and borage to help you milk come.” 

Ravenpaw thanked her and gathered his kits together with his tail. “It’s time,” Ravenpaw wanted to leave before the rest of the clan woke up since he knew Barley didn’t like a crowd, but a shout from the apprentices’ den rang around the camp. 

“Wait!” Squirrelpaw came tumbling out and dashed over. 

“Squirrelpaw hush!” her father warned. It was late, awakened by her call Thunder Clan crept out of their dens and looked in surprise at Ravenpaw and Barley clearly about to leave. 

“Good luck!”

“Stay safe!” 

“Come back and visit!”

Barley was handling the attention better than Ravenpaw had anticipated. With a last farewell, they slipped out of camp with their kits following. 

“What’s the barn like? Is it like the nursery? Is there prey?” Nightkit’s endless questions tumbled out of her like a rushing river. 

“Slow down,” Ravenpaw laughed, “You’ll see when we get there. There is prey,” he went on, “It’s warm and cozy. I promise you’ll like it.” 

Nightkit purred content by her father’s answer. Mousekit swiped at his sister’s tail as he thundered past. She squealed and chased after him. “Don’t run to far ahead,” Barley shouted after the kits. “Stay in view!” He rolled his eyes at Ravenpaw, but his voice was full of love and warmth. Ravenpaw leaned into him as he walked. The leaves fell golden and red around them as they headed home. 

…

Ravenpaw prowled through the undergrowth, his ears pricked for prey. His whiskers twitched as he imagined the looks on his kits’ faces when he brought back a mouse for them. Nightkit would immediately want to try it while her brother Mousekit would be more cautious. Suddenly he stopped, three warriors stood a little ways ahead of him in a small glade, starlight shimmered at their paws. 

“Ravenpaw,” greeted the blue-grey she-cat. 

Bluestar!

Ravenpaw straightened and bowed his head respectfully, “Lionheart, Whitestorm,” he greeted the two toms. These were cats that he had known well when they were alive. Now they were in StarClan. A silver tabby slid from the bushes and bounded to touch noses with Ravenpaw. “Greetings friend,” she said. 

Ravenpaw breathed in her familiar scent, “Silverstream,” 

Her blue eyes blinked warmly at him. 

“Why have you brought me here?” Ravenpaw asked. 

It was Bluestar who replied. “We have come to give you your warrior name.”

“Yes,” Lionheart agreed. Whitestorm said, “You have overcome so much. You deserve to have your warrior name” 

Ravenpaw was touched, and yet… “I’ve always been Ravenpaw,” he mewed slowly, “That has always been my name. I feel pride in that. I see no need to have a warrior name. I’m not part of the clans anymore. My life is with Barley and our kits.”

“I thought you might say that,” Bluestar murmured softly. 

Silverstream whisked her tail around the rest on Ravepaw’s shoulder. “You have the heart of a warrior. You may not be part of the clans anymore, but we will never cease watching over you.”

Ravenpaw took comfort in her words. “Thank you,” he dipped his head to the four warriors in the deepest respect. 

“You have suffered, and prevailed.” Lionheart said. Whitestorm rubbed his cheek against Ravenpaw’s. “You have our respect.” 

Ravenpaw sighed a deep contented sigh. 

We will always watch over you. 

The Star Clan warriors’ voices faded as Ravenpaw blinked awake in his nest in the barn. He could hear the squabbling of his kits as they played scuffling amongst the hay. 

“I caught it!” Nightpaw argued,

“Didn’t!” Mousepaw responded, 

Barley stretched beside Ravenpaw. It had been six moons since they returned to the barn and their kits were growing fast. The Twolegs didn’t seem to mind the extra company. They had started leaving bright colored objects around for the kits to play with and put out extra food, but they mostly left them alone. The kits preferred to catch the mice in the barn with hunting techniques taught by their parents. 

“Do you want to go or should I?” Barley asked, 

“I settled the last fight,” Ravenpaw meowed, he flicked Barley with his white tailtip. “It’s your turn now.” 

Barley licked Ravenpaw’s ear and went to break up the fight. 

Ravenpaw purred and rolled on his back. A faint buzzing noise came from the Thunderpath. Twolegs had been swarming the Thunderpath for days now bringing in large monsters and spraying colors on the black surface. It worried Ravenpaw. He had never seen activity like this before and was going to warn Firestar later that day. Hanging his head over the edge of his nest, he saw that Barley had resolved their kits’ fight and was now play-fighting with them, hissing in mock terror and letting them jump on his back. Yes, this was paradise. Ravenpaw finally had the family he had always dreamed of having. 

I love you Barley, nothing will ever separate us. It will be you and me until we join whatever afterlife is waiting for us. My very best friend and mate.