Chapter 1: Overture
Summary:
Hello, hello! This is your 37-chapters-later author update 👀
So… turns out this fic is going to be a huge ass monster. I originally planned for like 50–60 chapters, but knowing my brain, there is a high chance that it will be even longer.
Here’s what to expect:
- Angst. A LOT
- Dark stuff (sprinkled generously with humor because I cope through memes)
- Some characters will not make it to the end credits
- Fluff, smut, and enough domestic nonsense
AND, and here’s the shocking part, given the tags, this fic will have a happy ending.
Why? Because I’m a sucker for them, that’s why.
Of course, to get there, you’ll need to survive approximately 35,272,131 plot twists and cliffhangers (where’s the fun otherwise?)
Anyway, enough rambling. Thank you so much for giving this fic a chance—you’re amazing 💕
Chapter Text
The sky above Hogsmeade hadn’t been blue in years. Not truly. Just a choking ceiling of black smoke and cinders, sagging low like decay in a forgotten grave. Ash fell like snow, slow and mocking, and the air reeked of burnt wood, scorched flesh, and something deeper, older, something that didn’t just sting the nose, but settled into the soul.
Resignation. Not the quiet kind that comes with surrender, but the rotting kind that festers when hope dies screaming.
The village lay broken. Ruined rooftops yawned open like shattered teeth, chimneys crumbled into the dirt, and the cobbled streets ran slick with the filth of war. Soot, blood, bile. The village had once been alive. Now it was a carcass cooling in the dusk.
No one spoke when they arrived. What words were left?
James Potter hit the stones like a corpse dropped from height. His palms scraped raw, his lungs clawed at the filth in the air. Beside him, Peter Pettigrew landed in a graceless sprawl, wand limp in a hand that shook too much to be useful. His eyes darted like a cornered rat's.
The sound of their Apparition echoed sharp and hollow, like a bell tolling across a field of unmarked graves.
Then came another crack—louder, more violent. Sirius Black tore into the square in a rush of air and noise, half-wild and bleeding. His mouth dripped red while his eyes were rabid, crazed. A dog too long starved, too long chained. Behind him stumbled Remus Lupin, or what was left of him, staggering on a ruined leg. His face was a ruin, his breath ragged. He caught Sirius by the shoulder just before he could break into a run towards his imminent death.
Then, the girls arrived.
Lily Evans appeared with Mary Macdonald clutched tight, as if bracing against the next blow. Lily’s face was streaked with blood and dirt, and her hair looked burned. Mary’s eye was swollen nearly shut, her lip split, one hand twisted at an angle no hand should bend.
Behind them, Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas were dropped into the square, all silent and still. Not a tear among them. They had been emptied out days ago.
And then the others emerged with a loud crack.
Mulciber stumbled into view first, limping heavily, but still wearing the crooked smirk of a man too arrogant to die properly. Blood spilled from the corner of his mouth, and his ankle jutted out at an unnatural angle, but he held his head high—like pride could outrun pain.
Behind him followed Avery, soaked in blood and twitching with something too fast, too erratic to be called fear. His eyes gleamed, too wide, too bright, and his grin stretched across his face like a tear in fabric. A man grinning not in triumph, but in collapse. A man whose thoughts had already broken.
Evan Rosier moved like a ghost. Purple handprints ringed his throat, dark against the pale skin, and his gaze drifted through the air like it no longer remembered how to land. There was something hollow in his silence, as if whatever had been inside him had slipped out and forgotten to return.
Then came Barty Crouch Jr., a torn animal wrapped in shredded robes. His face was sliced open, but he grinned.
That smile didn’t belong to this world. It didn’t belong anywhere clean, or sane, or whole. It belonged to the kind of story whispered too late at night, the kind that keeps children awake. It knew things. It had seen too much. It had enjoyed it.
And then he saw Evan.
In an instant, Barty closed the distance between them. He crossed the broken square in a sprint, boots splashing through soot and blood, and grabbed Evan by the shoulders with the urgency of someone holding onto the last piece of reality he could still name. Only then did Evan blink, as though waking from a nightmare, and finally remembering he wasn't alone.
Severus Snape was last. He didn’t explode into the square like the others. He slid into it, silent as breath, folding into the broken gathering like a shadow returning to its host. His face was unreadable, but his body betrayed him. His posture was rigid. His steps, uneven. Every inch of him ached, even in silence.
They didn’t come as captors.
They were survivors, like the rest of them. Slytherins who had danced too long on the knife’s edge, now bleeding for the same cause they'd once doubted. Fractured creatures that had once stood on opposite sides and now bled in the same dirt.
They were arranged like offerings, like meat laid out on stone, stripped of cause, stripped of belief. Their victory had been a lie. Their rebellion was slaughtered. The ground beneath them was cold and indifferent.
James stood first. Slowly. His joints cracked as he straightened, the sound brittle—like old wood warping in the cold. He didn’t groan. He didn’t sigh. Just rose slowly, as if the weight of the war was still pressing down on each vertebra. The others watched him with hollow eyes—the kind that had forgotten how to blink. The kind that had buried too much and survived too long.
No one asked what came next.
Because there was no next. No redemption waiting at the end of the road. No reckoning to balance the scales. Just more sky the color of ash, and breath that still burned when it entered the lungs. Survival was no longer an act of defiance. It was just inertia.
Then another crack split the square—louder, sharper, cruel.
It didn’t sound like Apparition. It sounded like the world snapping a bone.
And then a body was hurled into the square like refuse spat from the mouth of the war itself. He didn’t fall. He was dropped—knees first onto stone with a sound that wasn’t human. A sharp, wet crunch, followed by a raw, strangled gasp torn from a throat too ruined to scream properly. It was the sound an animal makes when death finally finds it.
He didn’t rise. His shoulders curled inward, not in fear, but in collapse, bones folding under the weight of too much. One hand trembled beneath him, elbow locked and quivering, the other scraped uselessly across the stone, fingers torn open to the bone.
His hair was a matted snarl of gore and dirt, plastered to his skull in tangled clumps. His skin was corpse-pale, tinged with the sickly blue of cold and blood loss. Starved not just of food or rest, but of self. Of identity. Of name.
His clothes, if they could still be called that, hung in tatters. His ribs jutted out like blades beneath bruised skin, every breath carving him deeper. His wrists told the story of his capture: deep, purpling bruises in the shape of hands. Not restraints. Hands.
Whoever he was, he hadn’t gone quietly.
That truth was written in the faces of those who brought him. One captor clutched at a torn ear, blood leaking in thin trails down his neck. Another cradled an arm so deeply gouged the bone might have shown through. A third dragged one foot behind him, limping with a shattered knee and a bite mark to the hand.
Whoever this boy was, had made them bleed. He had fought like a creature with nothing left to lose, and nothing left to fear.
He pushed himself from the dirt and rose, straightening his back in an attempt to gather what was left of his dignity. His lips were split and bruised, but his eyes—his eyes—
They were Regulus’.
Still that deep, unnatural green. Still, that stare sharp enough to gut a God. He lifted his face through the blood and bile, through the ruin and wreckage, and found them—the others—watching across the square.
And there was nothing soft in him.
No trace of youth. No trace of the boy they had once seen in hallways and common rooms and Quidditch stands. What stared back at them wasn’t a boy at all. It was something reforged in fire. Something that had walked through death and come back.
James Potter forgot how to breathe.
Sirius didn’t. He inhaled, sharp and feral, and the sound he made was more animal than human. In a blur of motion, he tore forward with a scream that scraped the bones of every living thing still standing:
“YOU TRAITOROUS FUCK—!”
He flew at Regulus like a man possessed, blind with grief, blind with fury, blind with five years of mourning turned suddenly, violently inside out.
Remus caught him just in time. His arms wrapped around Sirius’s chest like chains forged out of desperation, not strength. But it wasn’t enough.
Sirius thrashed. He bucked and clawed and howled, grief erupting out of him in a torrent too large for his body to contain.
“YOU!”
The square trembled under the violence in his voice.
“You lied to us!”
It wasn’t just fury, but what five years of lies did to a person. Five years of questions unanswered. A thousand reasons to hate, all condensed into the face of his brother.
Regulus didn’t flinch. He looked at him like he was just another stranger.
“Let me go, Moony!” Sirius hissed through his teeth, “I’ll fucking tear him apart!”
Remus held tighter, arms shaking, jaw clenched. He didn’t speak softly. There was no room left for softness.
“You’ll die if you try.”
And that stopped Sirius more than the grip. His chest heaved. His mouth opened, closed, opened again. A hundred things tried to claw their way out and died on the back of his tongue.
He stared at Regulus, trembling, boiling over, staring not at the boy he’d known but at the corpse of the man he’d once mourned.
And still, Regulus said nothing.
His silence was a scream in reverse. A thunderous, soul-crushing absence that echoed louder than Sirius’s cries. Blood dripped steadily from his fingers. His fingernails were shattered, his knuckles scraped raw. His body had survived, but his soul? Gone.
From the rubble, Barty and Evan reached him. They didn’t speak, didn’t ask, didn’t plead. They only steadied him as he swayed, two shadows bracing the third before he could fall.
Above them, the sky darkened to a bruised purple, clouds sagging like torn flesh over a butcher’s slab.
The village around them was nothing but shadows and crows.
James stepped forward once, and only once.
Regulus looked at him. Met his gaze without fear. Without apology. Without defense.
No hatred. No pride. No plea.
Just that look. Tired, ruined, already gone.
Once, James Potter had burned like the sun—brilliant, golden, and blinding. Now, he stood in the wreckage of that fire, all warmth extinguished. Cold cinders drifting in a windless world.
Around them, the others stood like statues, trapped between what they used to be and what they could never become.
The war was over.
But the nightmare—
The nightmare had only just begun.
Chapter 2: The graveyard they call home
Chapter Text
Part I – The Labours
If someone had asked Regulus five years ago, back when he was still holed up in Hogwarts and his biggest fear was his mother’s wand, where he saw himself in the future, he would’ve said something ridiculous. Auror. Unspeakable. Ministry badge gleaming, fat paychecks. A life that made sense.
If someone had asked him five years ago, back when he bunked with three other boys in the dungeons, where he saw himself in the future, he would’ve said a huge, airy flat. Something that did not resemble at all the mausoleum that Grimmauld Palace was.
If someone asked him today where he sees himself in five years, he’d say hopefully alive.
Because there were no interviews. No salaries. No airy manors. No bright future waiting just beyond the castle walls. Only perfect lies and the ruins they left behind.
No late night drinking sessions with friends. Most of them were dead anyway. Died so early, so brutally, that half his memories were a mangled wreckage now. He couldn’t tell anymore where one ended and the next began.
They say memories warp over time, but nobody told him they could rot.
He used to dream about a house with a greenhouse and tall windows, with spells to keep the light shining even through the blackest winters. Anything to escape the cold green gloom of the dungeons or the terrors of his house.
He got the open skies he wished for, just not the way he imagined. Now, there was nothing but mud under his body, blood soaking into his clothes, and cold wind carving into his skin. One tends to get used to it eventually.
Despite the mask he was forced to keep around his family, he used to believe Voldemort would lose. That the Order would win. That good would triumph, because that’s how the stories go.
They lied.
Dumbledore died. Then McGonagall. Then the Aurors, dropping one after another like gutted flies.
They didn’t just kill them — they paraded them. Hauled their bodies into the courtyard like trophies. Turned death into a carnival.
The day they dragged Moody in, Lily fainted. Even Sirius gagged. Regulus just stood there, memorizing each twisted face the way he used to memorize potion ingredients. Cold and precise.
He used to think war was something they could survive.
He used to think there was a life waiting for all of them on the other side.
He used to believe in faith. In luck. In destiny.
Turned out, all those things were just fairy tales they told themselves to survive the night.
And in this place, in this graveyard they started calling home, fairy tales were worth less than dirt.
Hogwarts wasn’t a school anymore. It was a slaughterhouse.
The dungeons weren’t dormitories, but cages for rebels waiting to die.
The outskirts of the castle were hunting grounds.
The Forbidden Forest was just another playground for Death Eaters to feed their bloodlust.
The Quidditch pitch, once full of cheers and good memories, now ran red with new horrors — tributes, duels, bloodsport for the highest bidder.
Hogsmeade became their cage.
A crumbling village where the roofs sagged under rot and ash, where every house, every abandoned shop, was crammed with the last scraps of what was once Hogwarts' future. A shantytown of former students, broken families, and half-starved survivors, herded together like livestock waiting for the next slaughter.
They fetched for themselves in the ruins, living off rabbits and squirrels, even deer if they were lucky enough, setting crude traps in the snow-choked woods, skinning them with shaking hands. Some learned to tan hides, some boiled bones for tools.
They built fires in broken hearths, smoked meat in chimneys long choked with soot, and traded scraps of leather or strips of jerky like they were galleons.
The old house rivalries still bled through, even now, even here. Slytherin purebloods sat highest on the carcass of their so-called society. Those who had once refused the Mark, but had been offered "second chances." They were the privileged ones. Sometimes, they were allowed to march back to the castle and feast with the Death Eaters in the Great Hall, returning bloated and smug.
Next came purebloods from the other Houses, their family trees serving as shields.
Then the half-bloods, their fates balancing on the prestige of whichever parent’s bloodline the Death Eaters deemed worthy that day.
And at the bottom, the Muggle-borns.
Despised. Hunted. Bought and sold through whispered promises or desperate alliances. Most of them survived only by forging ties to someone slightly higher on the food chain.
It was survival stripped to the marrow. No comforts, no magic for warmth or mending, only the brutal grind of existence.
Like living in the Dark Ages again, only worse.
They were still allowed their wands, a cruel joke more than a mercy because magic was strictly rationed: spells for survival only, or for 'protection' — their version of it. Even a disarming charm like Expelliarmus was considered a threat, an act of rebellion punishable by death.
So, naturally, they stopped relying on spells.
They learned how to fight with their hands, with daggers fashioned from scrap iron and bone, with whatever violence they could summon from the hollowed places inside themselves.
Steel didn’t require a wand.
Steel didn’t care about blood purity.
Chapter 3: The wayward son
Notes:
This chapter dives into Hogsmeade's new setting a bit more and touches on some key moments from Regulus’ past. I tried to keep it all in one chapter since I didn’t want to linger too long on the past, but rather show how those experiences shape his dynamic with the others.
Hope it adds some context without slowing things down too much xx
Lucas King- Desolation
Chapter Text
The Marauders had taken over the ruins of Honeydukes thanks to James and the perks of his pureblood name. Sirius was considered a blood traitor, which, in their language, was translated as lower than a Muggle-born. The shop was big enough for each of them to carve out a bedroom, and rumour has it the old cellar had a tunnel connected to Hogwarts.
Lily and the rest of the girls had taken the Magic Neep house, perched stubbornly at the far edge of the village. Clever girls, using the hidden greenhouse to grow what they couldn’t steal or trade.
Regulus took the former Tomes and Scrolls. The place was crooked and cold, half-collapsed in the back, and stank of mildew whenever it rained, but it was quiet. He knew he could’ve made a better use of his name and claim a better house, but he refused to live among the rest of the remaining Slytherins. It was enough that they’d taken the Three Broomsticks and turned it into a monument of desecration, a smug little castle in the centre of a broken town.
Living with Evan and Barty was easy. Evan kept mostly to himself, quiet and sharp-eyed, the kind of presence that didn’t demand space but filled it anyway. Barty was all twitching limbs and too-loud laughter, a mad spark always flickering just behind his eyes, but around Regulus, he softened. Not much. But enough. There was an understanding between the three of them, unspoken but solid: they were the ones who had peeled off from the wreckage. Survivors of the wrong kind. Too dark for the Order, yet too weak for Voldemort.
The Tomes and Scrolls house didn’t have warmth or light or laughter. But it had the illusion of freedom. No masks. No posturing. Just a shared knowledge of the things they’d done, and the even worse things they refused to do. They didn’t ask questions they weren’t ready to answer.
Regulus Black had been disinherited in his seventh year when he faked his death on a rainy November night and slipped away from the Grimmauld Palace. No body, no blood, just a torn cloak in the river and a random wand snapped clean in two. Everyone assumed the worst.
Voldemort’s inner circle called it cowardice.
Sirius called it karma.
The Prophet published a short obituary.
The Blacks didn’t hold a funeral. That silence was the only mourning he ever received.
But Regulus hadn’t disappeared out of fear. His vanishing act had never been about cowardice—it had been a calculated retreat, a descent into the shadows taken with grim, deliberate purpose.
He had always been a curious child, too perceptive for his own safety. And it was that same relentless curiosity that had drawn him, step by step, toward the decay beneath the Dark Lord’s carefully constructed veneer. He had seen too much too early: the rituals spoken in dead tongues, the hushed meetings behind closed doors, the stains of magic that felt wrong. Things Voldemort hid even from his most trusted.
Horcruxes.
The word had only been spoken once—accidentally, in passing. A slip from a mouth that should have known better. But it lodged in his brain like a splinter. It clung to the edges of his thoughts, whispering through his dreams until he could no longer ignore it.
Naturally, he began to look. Not openly, never recklessly—he was a Black, after all. He knew how to move in silence. He combed through forbidden sections of the Hogwarts library, turned dusty pages in his family's private collection, and decoded the superstitions woven into the tapestry of Black blood magic. Each answer only fed the hunger for another, the image becoming clearer and more horrifying with every step.
He learned what Voldemort had done. What he had become.
But knowledge has its cost, and Voldemort did not forgive curiosity, especially not the kind that peeled back his carefully guarded secrets.
So when the first Horcrux was destroyed, and the Dark Lord felt it, Regulus felt the ripple of danger surge toward him.
He had to make a choice: to stay and be devoured, or disappear before the shadows reached him.
And so, with a clarity born not of panic, but of conviction, Regulus vanished.
The years that followed were agony. There was no contact with Sirius. Not that there ever truly had been. Whatever scraps of brotherhood they might’ve shared in childhood had long since crumbled into ash. Now, even that distant thread had been severed entirely. No letters. No memories. Just a hollow space where something human should have lived.
Regulus drifted through the years like a ghost bound to a purpose no one could see. No connection to anything except the cold trail of fragmented magic and half-buried truths. He bribed goblins, bled into runes that hadn’t been touched since the Founders, and chased ghosts through half-collapsed buildings. He chased rumors whispered by dying seers and travelled in the bones of old magic, the kind buried under countless wards.
When he stole the first Horcrux, he didn’t even know that that was the object that he has been looking for. It looked so normal, a simple, golden locket, scuffed around the edges. But it pulsed. Not with magic, but with… something else. Something watching. It whispered in languages no mouth should speak.
When he managed to finally destroy it with fiendfyre, the black smoke gave it away.
He almost burned himself to death in the process. And still, he pressed forward.
If there was one, there had to be others. Voldemort would never entrust eternity to a single artifact. No, the man they followed—the man they feared—would have layered his immortality like a fortress. Like a curse. Killing him would never be as easy as a wand to the chest. Not while fragments of him were still festering in corners of the world, like rot in the beams of a house that still stood.
Until every piece of that fractured soul was ripped from the earth and burned, the war was nothing but a stage play.
So Regulus kept hunting.
Relentless. Starving for progress. Hollowed out by years of chasing threads that frayed the moment he touched them. The world blurred into train stations and portkeys, salt-stained clothes and blood-streaked hands. He followed dead languages through forgotten tombs, bartered secrets from the dying, and kept pushing because he had to. No one else would. No one else could.
It was after Albania, after weeks spent crawling through black marshes and tomb-cursed ruins, that he got the tip. A coded message, passed down through old Order channels, traced to someone who hadn’t spoken his name aloud in years. Something about stashed relics and manuscripts—possibly dark artifacts—hidden in the lower catacombs near Heidelberg. He should’ve seen the trap for what it was. It was too clean. Too precise.
But exhaustion makes even the clever careless.
On his way back, he cut north through the Highlands and stopped in a glen near Loch Ericht—a place he’d used before. Remote. Forgotten. An old stone croft hidden between pine and mist, shielded by old wards. It had always been safe. Until it wasn’t.
He hadn’t known that the snatchers had moved this far north. Locals, mostly. Once neutral, but now quietly aligned with the Death Eaters—their loyalties swaying with the tide of power. They must’ve seen him Apparate in, recognized him from someone’s cursed registry. The Black heir who’d vanished.
By the time the first hour had passed, they had already sent word.
He didn’t even have time to remove his coat, let alone reach for his wand.
They came out of nowhere, all masked and cloaked. Five of them, maybe six, his memory was mangled.
There were no questions, no orders, no demands for surrender.
Just spells.
Sharp. Precise. Cruel.
The first curse snapped his shoulder back. The second ripped the air from his lungs. He reached for his wand—too late. A Disarming Charm struck him across the ribs, sent him crashing into the croft wall with a crunch he didn’t register until later.
But he didn’t go down easy.
Regulus fought. Not with grace. Not like a duelist. But like an animal.
He sank his teeth into someone’s arm and didn’t let go until he tasted blood. He raked his nails across another’s face, deep enough to peel skin. When one of them grabbed him from behind, he twisted and tore—tore—until something wet and round and cartilage-thick came away in his palm. He didn’t know what it was until he heard the screaming.
An ear.
It wasn’t enough.
They bound him, beat him to a pulp, and dropped him into Hogsmeade.
When Walburga found out that he was alive, she begged Voldemort to spare him. Pleaded, even, something she had never done for Sirius. The younger Regulus might have found it touching—a sign that his mother cared, despite everything. But this Regulus had refined his hatred for her into an art form.
Walburga told the Dark Lord that Regulus had been misled, influenced by his traitorous brother, poisoned by the false heroics of Gryffindors and idealists. She insisted he could be saved. That he was still loyal to the cause. That he would correct his course. She had always been like this—fixated on her younger son, carefully shaping him into the perfect Black. And Regulus played the role she gave him... all while biding his time.
Voldemort, ever the tactician, saw the opportunity for what it was. A chance to appear merciful. To show the world, and especially his followers, that he was not only a ruthless leader, but a generous one. One who could recognize potential in even the poor, confused mind of a wayward child. That no mistake was too great if one returned to his feet and bowed deeply enough.
So, Regulus was spared.
Not forgiven. Not trusted. But spared.
He was thrown into the ruins of Hogsmeade not as a traitor or a rebel, but as a penitent pureblood, granted “mercy” by Voldemort’s lieutenants. The story was spun neatly: a misguided youth, a scared boy who ran from the burden of the Black name but came crawling back once he understood its weight. A cautionary tale with a polished ending. They even announced it in the main square, just to make sure the information got through.
Then, she disappeared. No word, no letter, nothing.
Yet Regulus knew that silence intimately. It was her favorite weapon.
She had never needed to raise her voice to control him. That wasn’t her way. Walburga Black was a master of stillness. A single glance could curdle joy. A pause too long after a sentence could make a child rethink everything he thought he knew. She did not command love—she constructed dependence, twisting it until affection became obedience, and obedience became identity.
When he cried as a boy, she did not console—she went quiet, and let him beg for her attention. When he succeeded, she praised the family name, never the boy who bore it. And when he questioned anything—anything—she said nothing at all. Just looked at him like he was a crack in a priceless mirror.
He was only here because it suited her narrative: that the obedient Black son would always return. That the bloodline was unbreakable. That Sirius was a shameful blight, a blemish to be scorched off, and Regulus… Regulus was the one who could be rewritten.
A good son.
Her last, loyal investment.
Regulus Black had become living proof that even lies, when repeated with enough precision, enough conviction, could masquerade as loyalty.
His every bow, every ritualized phrase of obedience, every calculated silence had been another thread in the illusion he’d woven around himself. An illusion sharp enough to draw blood when touched. Because the only way to dismantle Voldemort’s empire from within was to become invisible inside it.
And if he played his role well enough—if he bowed just deep enough, killed just precisely enough, if he wore his last name like armor instead of a curse—then maybe, just maybe, the fractures he had already carved into the Dark Lord’s foundations would one day split wide enough for someone else to bury the blade deep.
He never asked for redemption.
Regulus didn’t need forgiveness. Didn’t need survival. He just needed one clean strike, one opening, and the world could end a different way.
Only two people knew the full weight of what he was carrying.
Barty and Evan. Just them, two boys who had slipped through the cracks of Voldemort’s machine and landed bloody and breathing beside Regulus. He told them everything the night before the cave. No lies. No theatrics. Just the bare truth, raw as a wound. About the Horcrux. About the water. About what he planned to do.
They didn’t try to stop him.
They just listened.
And when the cave turned out worse than even he’d imagined—when the poison hit his bloodstream like fire and the Inferi began to rise from the water with dead eyes and frozen hands, they came for him. Not as saviors. As brothers. They ripped him out before the water could pull him under.
And now, all these years later, the three of them shared a single roof again. A house stripped of pretense.
Regulus and Barty handled the hunting.
It was almost funny, in a grim, bitter sort of way, how wrong everyone had been about Regulus Black. Gentle-mouthed Regulus. The boy who flinched when voices were raised. Who once bit back tears when a house elf was punished. Who used to press his palms over his ears when their mother’s screams echoed through Grimmauld Place.
But war didn’t care about softness. War reshaped people. War melted away whatever gentleness might’ve once existed and left only what could survive the heat.
Regulus didn’t just survive it—he sharpened inside it.
Where Barty burned like a wildfire, laughing too loudly, moving too fast, his wand a twitch away from chaos, Regulus was the cold after the flame. Precise. Unshakeable. Controlled down to the breath.
He killed without flourish, without rage, without hesitation. Like subtraction. Step by step, clean and final. He didn’t make speeches. He didn’t gloat. The last thing most people ever saw of him was the moment before they ceased to be.
It unsettled even Barty sometimes, but he never walked away. Not once. He never questioned him. If Regulus needed information, Barty got it. If they needed bodies to disappear without a trace, Barty handled it.
Evan, meanwhile, was the gravity holding the house, and maybe them, together.
He was the one who brewed the potions, who scavenged furniture from the ruins, and patched the roof with leftover shingles and took almost all the turns just for them to catch a few hours of sleep. He handled the bartering for food, medicine, or intel, with that low voice and those steady eyes that made people underestimate him.
He didn’t ask why they came home soaked in blood. He just handed them a clean shirt and stitched them back together.
It was a quiet job, but not a small one.
He was the reason they had something to come back to at all.
Sometimes, when the trail went cold or the wards around Hogwarts weakened, Regulus would slip past the perimeter, ghost through the tunnels, twist through the shadows, and steal things. Bottled phoenix tears. A half-burned grimoire from the Restricted Section. Different vials of potions.
Sometimes, when the loot was generous, Regulus would do something that still startled him every time:
He’d stop by Lily’s house.
He never knocked. Never lingered.
Just left a bundle of supplies on the back stoop, wrapped in cloth, carefully labelled, always wordless. A flask of Blood-Replenishing Potion. A bag of dried dittany leaves. A vial of unicorn marrow. Once, a stack of parchment torn from a forgotten book titled The Ethics of Wandless Magic in Combat.
At first, it unsettled them. The girls didn’t know what to make of it. Marlene found the first package and was ready to track him down and drag him into the street for answers. Mary was suspicious. And Lily, sharp, tired, and too smart for her own good, was already halfway convinced it was a trap.
But it was Dorcas who broke the silence, as she so often did, flat-voiced, and with eyes too old for her age.
“If Regulus Black wanted us dead,” she said, “we’d already be rotting in a ditch somewhere with our mouths full of worms.”
The next time the bundle appeared, they left a note in return, tucked into the wrappings, scrawled in Lily’s careful script:
You’re welcome here.
Despite the note, they never saw him when he came, but the supplies kept coming, and the back door stayed unlocked. Just in case, one day, he stopped running long enough to walk through it.
In contrast, his relationship with the Marauders was… complicated.
Sirius hated him. Despised him from the bottom of his heart, with the kind of rage that only came from once having loved someone. Not the cold, distant contempt Sirius reserved for Death Eaters or Slytherins or other ghosts of his past. No, this was personal. Visceral.
Sirius didn’t just despise him. He wanted him broken. Gone. Ground down to dust and scattered to the wind.
If Sirius hadn’t been stopped that day, he would’ve ripped Regulus’ heart out with his bare hands and left it to rot in the street. There was no forgiveness between them. No truce. Just the scorched remains of a family neither of them had really survived.
And the worst part?
Regulus didn’t blame him.
He had let Sirius believe he was dead. Hadn’t written. Hadn’t explained. Hadn’t done anything except disappear like a ghost into the margins of the war and stay there. He let his brother carry the weight of that grief without ever offering to share it.
And maybe that was unforgivable.
Sometimes, late at night, when the house was too quiet and Barty’s breathing slowed down, Regulus found himself wondering whether Sirius had cried. Whether he’d broken something. Whether he’d gone quiet or furious or both when he found out his baby brother was gone.
But if he had mourned, if he had grieved, it only made the betrayal cut deeper.
And Regulus knew that Sirius would never forgive him for it.
Remus, though—Remus had always been kind.
Too kind, sometimes. Quiet in a way that saw too much, spoke too little. He’d been kind even when he shouldn’t have been.
Regulus found him three years ago, gasping for air in the frozen, blood-soaked woods after Greyback’s pack had shredded him alive, tearing flesh from bone and leaving him to bleed out in the snow. His blood pooled around him, staining the white ground like spilled ink on fragile parchment. Regulus didn’t think twice. With trembling hands slick with blood and snow, he hauled him from the biting cold and took him to his cottage. He stitched torn skin and shattered muscle together with raw, trembling magic fuelled by desperation, not even caring if it would scar or not.
Regulus didn’t sleep for three nights.
He sat at Remus’ side, eyes burning, wand in hand, ready to act at the first hitch of breath. Terrified that Remus would choke on his own blood and die quietly in the dark while no one was watching. That he’d survive everything only to slip away because Regulus hadn’t done enough.
When Remus finally woke, fevered, shaking, and confused, Regulus made him swear that he hadn’t seen him, and that Regulus Black was still dead.
And Remus had kept that promise.
He never breathed a word. Not even when Sirius hurled venom at Regulus, branding him a spineless traitor straight to his face.
Sometimes, when they crossed paths, Remus would give him that look, heavy with quiet knowledge and unspoken gratitude. Eyes that said: I remember what you did.
When it was just the two of them, they would talk or simply share the silence.
Peter seemed to harbour a particular fear of Regulus, though, to be honest, that wasn’t entirely unexpected. After all, Peter was a man who seemed to fear nearly everything and everyone he encountered, his anxiety casting long shadows over even the simplest interactions.
This underlying nervousness made it difficult to pinpoint whether Regulus inspired something unique in him or if he was just another source of his usual unease.
Regardless, Peter had found something like stability in the quiet company of Emmeline Vance.
They shared a small, timeworn house perched at the outermost edge of Hogsmeade, half-swallowed by brambles and creeping ivy. It wasn’t much, but it stood. The sort of place where the wind always felt a little louder, the nights a little longer, but also safer. Removed. A few streets too far from the main roads, and just secluded enough to make it feel like the war was happening elsewhere.
Peter rarely ventured far from it anymore. When he wasn’t needed, he was home. Organizing shelves, or counting food rations like they might vanish in the night.
And Emmeline never said a word about his fear. She didn’t name it. Didn’t shame it. She simply let him exist beside her without asking him to be more than he was capable of being. In return, he stood a little straighter around her. Remembered how to breathe when the nightmares crept in.
And finally, there was James.
James was a different story altogether. A story Regulus didn’t know how to stop rereading, no matter how many times he swore he was done with it.
There were moments when Regulus could almost convince himself that James hated him. That there was nothing but bitterness there. Maybe it was the Slytherin thing. Maybe it was the Sirius thing. Merlin knew Sirius had a talent for turning people against each other, like it was a bloody art form. Maybe it was just easier, safer, to believe that James Potter wanted nothing more than for Regulus Black to disappear again and stay gone this time.
He’d seen James the day they dragged him into Hogsmeade. Saw him through the blood and grime and humiliation of it all. Their eyes had locked across the square, and everything else had dropped away—noise, movement, pain. Just a heartbeat of raw, stunned recognition.
Shock, yes.
Recognition, yes.
But not just that.
There had been something else—something deeper, sharper, more unbearable.
James had taken a step forward.
Just one.
But it wasn’t the step that haunted Regulus.
It was the instinct behind it. The way James had moved before he could stop himself, like some forgotten part of him had leapt ahead of reason. Like, for that one terrible moment, he had wanted to go to him.
Regulus never forgot that. Never stopped turning it over in his mind like a cursed coin.
And what came after only made it worse. Because when the shouting stopped and Sirius stormed off in that way of his, James would sometimes linger. Hover in the doorway like he hadn’t meant to stay but couldn't quite make himself leave. He’d say something low, almost absent-minded, something that skimmed the surface of civility. Sometimes it even veered toward… kindness.
And that was unbearable.
Because Regulus didn’t know what to do with that. With James’ restraint. With the softness that crept in when it shouldn’t. With the way his voice lost its edges around him, like he couldn’t help it. Like he was trying to figure Regulus out rather than write him off.
It made Regulus furious.
Because James wasn’t supposed to see him.
He wasn’t supposed to glance at him like he was a puzzle worth solving, or worse—like he was someone who could be forgiven.
He didn’t want the forgiveness. He didn’t want the chance. He didn’t want hope because hope was a poison he couldn’t afford. And every time James looked at him like that, with the faintest trace of something human behind his eyes, Regulus wanted to break something. To grab James by the collar and shout: Don’t be kind to me. Be cruel. Hate me. That’s easier.
But James didn’t give him cruelty. Not really. Not the kind Regulus thought he deserved.
Instead, he gave him silence. He gave him glances that lingered too long. He gave him mercy—quiet, reluctant, unspoken, but real.
Kindness from Remus, yes—he’d earned that by saving his life once. But kindness from James Potter?
Regulus didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t know how to hold it without bleeding.
Because the truth, the horrible, unbearable truth, was this:
James Potter still looked at him like he mattered. Like he wasn’t too far gone. Like he hadn’t burned all his bridges to ash and ground the embers underfoot.
And that—that was more dangerous than any curse Regulus had ever faced.
Chapter 4: Sparrow
Notes:
Charon? Labours? Homer? Listen… I’m not saying I have an (un)healthy obsession with Greek mythology, but let’s just say the signs will be everywhere. Like, scattered-all-over-this-fic levels of everywhere.
Also, is this a Rosekiller hard launch? Yes, yes, it is
Nicholas Britell - The Middle of the World
Chapter Text
“Reggie,” Remus greeted him with a soft smile from the battered old couch, setting his book down in his lap. “It’s been a while.”
“Hey,” Regulus said, pulling the door shut behind him with a low creak. He stamped the snow from his boots onto the worn rug, watching the slush melt into the faded pattern of swirling ivy. “All by yourself?”
“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “Prongs spotted a herd of deer up north the other morning. He and Padfoot went to track them. With a little luck, maybe they’ll catch something.”
Regulus’ eyes moved across the room as he shrugged off his coat. It was warm inside — a steady warmth that soaked into the bones. The place was modest. Small, maybe three rooms at most. But it was lived-in, in the most intimate way. A teapot rested on the hearth, half full. There was a blanket draped unevenly over the back of the couch, and a pair of reading glasses abandoned on the side table. A bookshelf stood half-leaning in the corner, packed so tightly the volumes bulged outward.
A few dried herbs hung above the fireplace, their stems bound with string and careful knots. A plant, something leafy and stubborn, curled on the windowsill, thriving in a cracked ceramic pot that had clearly been mended more than once. The whole room spoke of care. Of patience. Of someone who made the best of little and never complained about it.
Regulus couldn’t help it as he let out a soft, amused breath through his nose.
“What?” Remus asked, tilting his head with that perpetual, quiet curiosity.
Regulus shook his head faintly, still studying the space. “It’s just… It made me laugh, that’s all.”
“What did?”
“You,” Regulus said, walking over to hang his coat by the door. “You remind me of Evan sometimes.”
Remus raised an eyebrow, his smile returning. “Should I take that as a compliment?”
“Definitely.” Regulus huffed and glanced at the plant, then at the careful stitching in the curtain hems, the stack of notes clipped neatly on the table. “This place… It’s so clearly yours. Like everything here exists because you’ve willed it to keep standing. And somehow it does.”
That was what always startled him about Remus. Not his magic, or his intelligence, or even his relentless ability to survive, but how gentle he was in a world that had given him nothing but sharp edges.
And it made sense, suddenly, why he liked being near him. Why someone as brittle and guarded as him had softened around this quiet, sharp-eyed man with the wolf in his blood.
Regulus let himself ease down into the armchair by the fireplace, the cushions sagged just enough to be comforting, and leaned his head back with a tired sigh.
“You keep this place together,” he murmured.
Remus didn’t answer immediately. Just watched him for a moment, eyes thoughtful and a little sad.
“That’s the trick, isn’t it?” he said finally. “If you can’t fix people, you fix the space around them. Make it easier to breathe. Easier to rest.”
Regulus let the silence stretch between them, the crackle of the hearth filling it with warmth.
“Perhaps,” he said, his voice soft as he tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. Shadows from the fire flickered across the old wood beams like ghosts. After a beat, he let his gaze fall to the book in Remus’ lap. “What are you reading?”
Remus gave a small wave of his hand, brushing it off. “Just a bunch of Muggle stories. Nothing extraordinary.”
“Humour me,” Regulus said, his lips curling into a rare, genuine smile — small and crooked, but real.
Remus hesitated, then tilted the cover slightly so the spine caught the firelight.
“Greek myths.”
Regulus raised his brows, interested. “Homer or Hesiod?”
That caught Remus off guard. His eyes narrowed, a flicker of surprise beneath the lines of exhaustion.
“Homer,” he said finally.
Regulus nodded, satisfied. “Good choice.”
He leaned back, the leather creaking softly beneath him as he turned his gaze toward the fire. The logs hissed as a knot burst open with a quiet pop, sending a small halo of sparks upward into the chimney.
“You surprise me,” Remus said, still watching him. “Didn’t know Greek mythology was part of the Black family curriculum.”
“It wasn’t.” Regulus’ voice was distant, laced with something like fondness, though dulled, like a memory softened by time. “I used to steal Uncle Alphard’s books when I was little. He adored Muggle literature. Kept shelves full of it in a room no one else ever went into. I used to sneak in when no one was looking, grab whatever I could carry, and hide them under my bed.”
Remus blinked, then laughed, not mocking, just surprised. “That… alright, I did not expect that.”
Regulus glanced at him, the smile still ghosting at the corners of his mouth. “He also taught me how to pick locks and drink wine before I could shave. The rest of the family was less fond of him, as you can imagine.”
“I liked Alphard,” Remus said quietly. “Only met him once, in the fourth year, I think. He brought Sirius to the station and gave me a chocolate bar the size of my face.”
Regulus let out a breath that could’ve been a laugh or just a sigh. The kind of noise that lived somewhere between memory and exhaustion. It was hard to tell sometimes, or to name all the things that he felt.
He looked back toward the fire, where the flames had dimmed to a softer glow now, licking quietly at the logs. And just like that, the stillness fractured, and his mind stirred.
Thoughts rising like smoke — thick, clinging, impossible to push back.
He absolutely loathed when this happened.
When everything went too quiet outside, and the noise inside his head flooded in like a tide he couldn’t hold back. Swirling, looping, spinning the same thoughts over and over and over again until they scraped raw against his ribs. Every mistake. Every failure. Every face he couldn’t save. The locket. The cave. The weight of secrets he still hadn’t spoken aloud. The way James had looked at him the other night, sharp and unreadable. The tremor in Sirius’ voice when he’d screamed at him to leave.
The silence made it all louder.
“Reggie,” Remus murmured, voice low and careful, “are you alright?”
Regulus’ throat bobbed, but he didn’t look up from the fire.
“I don’t know how to answer to that questions anymore, Moony.”
The way he said it, flat, tired, without defence, pulled the air a little tighter between them.
There was a pause, and Regulus knew that if he looked at the other man, he would see pity in his eyes. He could survive being hated. But pity made him feel transparent.
He exhaled, the breath low and quiet, and reached into the inside pocket of his coat, taking out a small vial. He leaned forward and set it carefully on the splintered table between them with a faint clink that broke the silence like a bell.
“Changed the ratios a little. Should be more potent now.”
Remus blinked down at it, caught off guard. He picked it up, turned it slowly between his hands, inspecting the shimmer of the liquid inside.
“How did you—?”
“I don’t trade my secrets that easily, unfortunately,” Regulus winked, trying to push away all his thoughts and slide his usual mask back on. “I'll drop by tomorrow evening, see if the tweaks worked. You're heading to the forest, right?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly, almost wincing. “But... since they are checking the traps today, he…”
“Ah.” Regulus’ smile faltered, just a fraction. His jaw tightened. “Right. Anyway, let me know if it works. Evan nearly skinned me alive for tampering with the ingredients. Merlin bless Barty for distracting him; otherwise, he might have shoved a pestle down my throat.”
Remus chuckled faintly, shaking his head. “Evan’s worse than Madam Pomfrey ever was.”
“More dramatic, too. And twice as petty.” Regulus pulled his jacket on and reached for his gloves, slipping them on with practiced ease. “You’re welcome to stop at our place tomorrow. Evan keeps pestering me with questions about your dosing schedules. Thinks your lycanthropy is some kind of bloody puzzle box.”
“He’s not wrong,” Remus muttered. “It never reacts the same way twice.”
Regulus released a low, exhausted hum of agreement before rising slowly to his feet, fingers deftly adjusting the collar of his coat. Across from him, Remus shifted slightly, preparing to push himself up from the couch, but froze mid-motion as his eyes darted sharply toward the entrance, instinct kicking in before thought could catch up.
The door slammed open with a violent crack, the sound echoing through the room like a shot. A blast of icy air rushed in, carrying with it the sharp, acrid stench of soaked leather and something colder, more primal, that seemed to cling to the shadows beyond the threshold.
Remus snapped upright as if an invisible wire had jerked him into action, muscles tense and spine rigid, eyes locked on the doorway with a look that flickered between recognition and dread.
“Mooooony,” came Sirius' singsong voice, sharp and jarring against the heavy air, "I'm home! Prongs was bloody right! We caught the scent of the herd and—"
His whole body froze—no theatricality now, just a raw, instinctive stillness. The amusement on his face cracked and vanished. What remained was something brittle and sharp.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sirius spat, the warmth gone from his voice entirely, replaced with something low and simmering. Dangerous. His gaze locked on Regulus like a predator spotting something it thought it had killed long ago.
“Padfoot—” Remus started quickly, stepping between them almost on reflex. His hands lifted halfway, a silent appeal, not just for calm but for understanding. “He just—he’s not here to cause anything. Just listen for a second.”
But Sirius didn’t even glance at him. He wasn’t hearing Remus anymore. His eyes, hard and unflinching, stayed fixed on his brother—on the shadow of childhood betrayal, of shared blood turned to poison.
“Your den of vipers is down the street,” he snapped, his voice rising with every syllable, every buried wound bubbling to the surface. “Why don’t you crawl back to whatever shithole they dragged you out of?”
“Sirius!” James’ voice cut in sharply from the threshold, the heavy tread of his boots following a beat later. He appeared in the doorway, frowning as his eyes darted between them. “Is this really necessary?”
Regulus crossed his arms slowly, forcing the movement into something controlled—something cold. The anger boiled just beneath the surface of his carefully neutral expression, but his voice, when it came, was razor-sharp in its calm.
“I don’t have time for your shit, Sirius,” he said, each word deliberate and clipped. “I came to speak with Remus, not you. If that bruises your delicate, performative sense of loyalty, by all means, throw another of your tantrums. But kindly fuck off while you do it.”
Sirius didn’t flinch at the insult, but something behind his eyes darkened—something deep and festering. When he spoke, it came out low and venomous, the kind of voice that came from years of hatred coiled like a snake in his gut.
“You don’t have the right to be in this house,” he hissed. “Not here. Not around them. Not around him.”
Regulus let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying not to laugh, but his smile was all teeth.
“I walk where I’m invited,” he said with quiet satisfaction. “Which is more than you can say, half the time.”
The words landed hard. Like a slap to the face from someone who knew exactly where to aim.
Sirius recoiled half a step, not physically, but in the flash of hurt that twisted his features before rage surged back to the front. His face contorted, caught between fury and the ache of something older—something unhealed. He looked, for just a heartbeat, like a boy again: betrayed and burning, backed into a corner by someone who knew him too well.
His hand twitched, his whole body wound tight like he might swing.
Regulus met his fury head-on, chin lifted high.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” Sirius growled, his voice low and vibrating with barely-contained violence. It wasn’t a shout, but rather the kind of threat spoken by someone on the verge of losing control entirely.
His brother cocked his head, folding his arms tighter across his chest. The amusement curling at the edge of his mouth was deliberate, a lit match to his already burning temper.
“Funny,” he said, his voice sweet as poisoned honey. “Last I checked, this was Potter’s house. You’re just squatting in it.”
James shifted awkwardly behind him, but didn’t step in.
Sirius' jaw clenched so hard, Regulus could hear his teeth grinding.
“Don’t you dare,” he said, voice breaking into a vicious whisper, “act like you’re the same as us.”
And that was it. The wound at the heart of it all. Sirius didn’t just hate Regulus—he resented that they came from the same blood. That no matter how far he ran, no matter how loudly he declared his rebellion, that darkness still shadowed his reflection.
Regulus stepped forward, reckless, defiant—eyes never leaving his brother’s.
“You’re right,” he said lightly. “You’ve also got the pure Black blood to keep you warm at night. Too bad that at the end of the day, you’re still considered a blood traitor, which, in their book, is worse than being a Muggle.”
Sirius' hand twitched.
Regulus saw it and smiled.
That only made it worse.
“You’re a fucking snake,” Sirius said, voice raw. “You don’t belong here. You never did.”
“And yet,” his brother said with a mocking glance around the battered, freezing room, “here I am.”
For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of breathing and the low creak of the floorboards under Remus’ shifting weight.
Finally, James stepped forward. His face was tight, jaw clenched, his patience visibly fraying
“Alright, enough,” he snapped. “Regulus helped Moony. That’s more than some people did.”
Sirius didn’t move
Didn’t even blink.
His fury was a living thing now, feral and heavy in the room, crackling like a storm about to break.
“You think playing apothecary makes up for what you are?” Sirius said, voice low and sharp-edged, each word flung like a knife. “You think stirring potions and acting useful buys you a seat at the table again? You think it makes you family?”
Regulus stared at him, the fire burning steadily behind his ribs now, feeding on everything they had ever been — brothers in name, strangers in practice, and something much worse in truth.
“No,” he said, voice soft and deadly calm. “But it makes me useful. Which is more than I can say for you these days.”
Sirius’ expression twisted, slow and involuntary, like the pain had reached down into something long buried, something raw and unhealed that still bled when touched. For a moment, he looked almost startled. As if Regulus had managed to hit something real, something he thought he’d locked away for good.
Remus moved before either of them could do anything else. He stepped between them with a sharpness that was all muscle memory by now, palms up and out like a man trying to defuse a cursed object.
“Enough,” he snapped, his eyes flicking from Sirius to Regulus. “Both of you.”
His voice didn’t waver, but it carried the weight of exhaustion. The kind born from years of watching people tear themselves to pieces and still trying to hold them together.
Regulus exhaled slowly through his nose. His face settled back into something unreadable, composed. The flicker of heat behind his eyes didn’t go out, but it dulled, tamped down with practiced ease.
“I was leaving anyway,” he said coolly, like it was a simple matter of scheduling, like the room hadn’t just been set on fire and doused again. He gave Sirius a small, deliberate nod. “Nice chat, brother. You never disappoint.”
But when his gaze slid to Remus, something shifted. The edge softened, just for a moment. There was a flicker of something quieter in his eyes, not regret, exactly, but recognition. Maybe even apology, if you knew how to look for it.
“Let me know tomorrow,” he said, voice low and meant for Remus alone. “Alright?”
Then he was gone.
He didn’t wait for a response. Didn’t glance back. Just brushed past them and into the cold, letting the door shut behind him with a soft, resolute thud.
Outside, the air bit hard, wet and bitter, heavy with the scent of rain-soaked stone and something colder beneath it. The chill punched the breath from his lungs on the first inhale, but he didn’t stop.
Night was bleeding fast across the village, turning the half-ruined rooftops into jagged black teeth against the dull grey sky.
Regulus tugged his coat tighter around himself and started toward his house, boots crunching over the frozen, filthy snow. Most of the village was boarded up or half-collapsed, only thin curls of smoke betraying which houses were still stubbornly occupied. The streets were mostly empty now — smart people didn’t linger after dark. Not with patrols lurking, hunting for excuses to “make examples” of anyone who wandered into the wrong place at the wrong time.
He kept his head down, pace quickening out of habit rather than fear, his breath clouding the air in front of him as he neared the crooked bend by the old post office, the one with its roof half-caved in and the door swinging on a single hinge.
That was when he saw a flicker of motion at the mouth of a side alley.
He stopped on instinct, every muscle coiling in a heartbeat, hand twitching toward the dagger tucked beneath his coat before recognition caught up with reflex.
Barty and Evan.
They paused when they saw him, shoulders stiffening, the stillness of hunted animals caught in sudden light.
Regulus exhaled slowly, letting the tension bleed from his limbs as he shook his head.
“Make sure you get back before dark,” he said, his voice calm but edged with warning, the words blooming into mist between them. “Dolohov and Yaxley are sweeping the village tonight. They're bored. And that’s when they get cruel.”
Barty rolled his eyes as he tugged a glove over cold-reddened fingers, his usual bravado slipping effortlessly into place. “We’re not idiots, Reggie.”
“Debatable,” Regulus muttered, folding his arms across his chest, the corner of his mouth twitching just slightly.
Evan looked toward him then, his expression as unreadable as ever — sharp eyes beneath a fringe of pale hair, one brow arching with quiet amusement. “It’s just a walk.”
Regulus tilted his head, one brow lifting in return, the sarcasm slipping into his voice like a blade through silk. “Oh, is that what we’re calling it now? Walks?” He cast a glance between them. “You don’t have to sneak out like desperate teenagers to shag in the woods. We have perfectly acceptable floors. Even a mattress or two, if you’re feeling decadent.”
Evan’s ears turned the faintest shade of pink, though the rest of his face remained a studied mask of disinterest. Barty, on the other hand, barked a laugh, sharp and short, like it had startled even him.
“We’re not going out to shag,” Barty said, still grinning.
“Sure, you’re not.”
“I’m serious.”
“And I’m not in the mood to scrape what’s left of you off the pavement when Dolohov catches you fumbling behind a tree,” Regulus replied, turning his back to them and starting toward the house. The humour vanished from his voice all at once, replaced by something clipped, brittle, and cold. “He gutted two novices last week. They weren’t even doing anything. Just standing in the wrong corridor at the wrong time.”
That sobered the air.
Barty hesitated for a breath, his grin faltering at the edges, uncertain. “We’ll be back before dark,” he said at last, quieter now.
Regulus didn’t slow. Didn’t look back. “See that you are.”
Behind him, the two boys exchanged a look, brief and unreadable, before vanishing down the street, their shadows swallowed by the approaching dark as they moved toward the treeline at the edge of the village.
The wind had already picked up by the time Regulus closed the door behind him. He didn’t bother lighting the lamps. There was no need. He knew this place by feel. Out there, Hogsmeade shivered like a wounded animal — too broken to fight, too stubborn to die.
Regulus shrugged off his cloak, the fabric stiff with frost along the edges, and hung it on the rusted hook by the doorway. His gloves followed, damp with melted snow. Then, without ceremony, he unbuckled the twin sheaths beneath his coat, one from the inside of his boot, the other from his shoulder, and set the curved daggers gently on the table beside the fireplace.
He couldn’t remember when was the last time he actually relied on a wand. Magic was too loud. Too traceable. Too... expected.
But a good blade didn’t need incantations. Didn’t misfire when your hands shook or your concentration snapped. A knife worked in silence. Up close, exactly where it mattered.
And he had learned a long time ago that quiet kills better than anything.
The building around him groaned under its own weight as the wind scraped along the roof. Once, Tomes and Scrolls had been a quaint little shop tucked into the corner of the village, all crammed shelves and drifting dust motes. Now it was barely standing. Half the ceiling had caved in before Evan found it — the second floor had collapsed entirely, burying the old inventory in a mess of wood, glass, and ruined paper.
But Evan had rebuilt it. Slowly. Patiently. The back wall was reinforced with salvaged bricks and protective wards layered so carefully they looked like spiderwebs. What had once been the stockroom was now a narrow kitchen with a water bucket charmed not to freeze. The shelves, those that hadn’t collapsed, were lined with what little remained: chipped jars of dried herbs, empty potion flasks, a row of scavenged tea tins labelled in Evan’s neat, elegant writing.
Two beds sat on opposite sides of what had once been the reading corner. The frames were old metal, dented and mismatched, transfigured from display tables in the first days, before the ban on magic. The mattresses were thin, the blankets scratchy, but they were warm. Evan had made sure of that.
Regulus moved to the hearth and knelt, prodding at the dying embers with the end of a fire iron. There wasn’t much wood left, but it was enough for tonight.
He stood, rolled his shoulders, and opened the cabinet beside the hearth. Empty.
No bread, no roots, not even the last strip of salted meat they’d bartered last week. The traps might’ve caught something if the wards hadn’t scared the animals off, or if Barty hadn’t already checked them and they were empty. Regardless, Regulus knew with a sinking certainty that he would have to venture further, deeper into the shadowed heart of the forest by dawn. He placed some traps that he deliberately kept secret from Barty and Evan because he didn’t want to burden them with false hope or the weight of expectations.
If these traps, too, came up empty, there would be no other choice but to raid Hogwarts again.
The very thought churned a cold dread deep in Regulus’s gut—a gnawing, relentless weight that tightened around his chest like iron bands. Hogwarts was no longer the sanctuary it once had been; now, with werewolves patrolling its corridors like ravenous, scent-driven hounds, every step inside felt like walking through a minefield. The wards had grown more cunning, more vigilant, their silent magic twisting and weaving with a keen intelligence that made evading them a perilous game of cat and mouse. And then there were the portraits, once silent witnesses, now whispering secrets, their voices carrying warnings and threats that chilled the blood and made Regulus’s skin crawl.
Still, despite the icy grip of fear tightening in his chest, Regulus’s mind returned again and again to Barty and Evan. Hunger gnawed at their bodies even if they refused to show it. He would do anything for them, even if it meant slipping through the castle’s defences once more, risking everything. He had done it dozens of times before, and nearly every time, he had emerged unscathed. But each success felt like a fragile thread stretched thinner and thinner, threatening to snap with every cautious step he took. Yet, as terrifying as the thought was, the alternative was unthinkable.
He dragged a chair to the table and sat, staring out into the fading light of the fireplace. Outside, the night pressed close, thick and impenetrable, as if the darkness itself sought to suffocate the fragile warmth still lingering inside.
There was nothing left to do. Nothing but wait and watch the last traces of light slip away.
He reached over to the table and slid one of the daggers closer, fingers brushing the worn leather hilt. He dragged his finger over the side of the blade and watched the cut oozing blood.
The knock wasn’t loud, but it was enough to make Regulus freeze mid-motion, his finger still hovering around the dagger.
No one ever knocked on their door, and the Death Eaters didn’t bother with such pleasantries.
He rose silently from the chair, fingers tightening around the blade’s hilt. The village outside had almost gone dark, and even the wind had quieted, leaving the old bookshop cloaked in a dense, unsettling hush.
Another knock. Firmer this time.
Regulus approached the door cautiously, pressing his ear to the wood. He didn’t sense any magic, not the sharp, humming kind that usually preceded trouble anyway. No movement beyond it either, just stillness.
He unlocked the door and pulled it open just a fraction. Just enough for him to peer outside.
And there he was.
James Potter was standing on the threshold with his coat open, hair damp from melting snow, his breath visible in the cold air. His glasses were slightly askew.
Regulus blinked once, slowly.
“What the fuck are you doing here at this hour, Potter? Do you have a death wish?” he hissed
James shifted his weight, jaw tensing. He looked over his shoulder at the empty street, then back again at Regulus.
“Can I—” he motioned with his chin, and Regulus pursed his lips and stepped aside without a word. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was something deeper. Or maybe he simply didn’t need Death Eaters to snoop around his house while his friends were out there shagging their brains off. Naturally, he found this excuse better. Regulus Black didn’t indulge his curiosities.
James entered like a man walking into enemy territory. His eyes swept the room immediately, noting the sparse furnishings, the twin beds, the worn edges of everything. His gaze lingered for a beat too long on the daggers laid out on the table near the fireplace.
Regulus shut the door behind him, locking it with a dull click.
“You’ve got three minutes before I throw you back out into the snow, Potter. Make it good.”
James looked at the ceiling, craning his neck. “Didn’t know this place was still standing.”
“Guess we’re all full of surprises,” Regulus moved past him. “Who would’ve thought?”
“You sleeping here?” he eyed curiously the two beds, his brows furrowing slightly as he tried to solve an impossible riddle.
“No,” Regulus drawled. “I sleep in the chimney. Evan and Barty take turns roasting me on a spit.”
James gave a short, tired laugh and shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “Still a mouthy little bastard, then.”
Regulus’s expression stayed perfectly deadpan.
“Was that your opening line, or are we going to get to the part where you tell me why you’re here near the curfew? I don’t think my wonderful brother will appreciate me showing up with his best friends in pieces.”
James rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek. “You should talk to Sirius.”
At that, Regulus clenched his jaw. The firelight threw long shadows across his face, accentuating the hollowness beneath his cheekbones and the bruise-coloured smudges under his eyes.
“No,” Regulus said, his voice cold, brittle. “Get out.”
“Regulus—”
“I said, get out. Your three minutes expired.”
James didn’t move, only raised his hands slowly in a peacekeeping gesture, and took a cautious step forward.
“Just... listen for a second, alright? He’s not doing well. You disappearing like that, faking your death, vanishing without so much as a bloody note—he hasn’t forgiven you. He might never, but you can’t keep acting like it didn’t matter. Like you didn’t hurt him.”
For a moment, the silence between them stretched into something fragile, dangerous. Then Regulus turned his face away, jaw rigid.
“Go home, Potter,” he said, voice low and unreadable.
“I’m not here to make you feel guilty,” James went on, more softly now. “I’m here because he won’t ask. Because he can’t. But someone has to say it. He needed you, Reg. And you were just… gone.”
Regulus laughed, dry and low. “Please. Do you really think I would believe that my brother, the one who fucking abandoned me, actually gave a shit about my presumed death?”
James didn’t answer.
“My point exactly. So, don’t come here and play the peacekeeper, Potter. You’re not neutral. You never were.”
“I’m not here for that.”
“Then why are you here?”
James exhaled slowly, eyes locked on him.
“Something’s different about you. Since you came back, I mean. You’re not— I don’t know. You’re not the same.”
Regulus scoffed and moved back toward the table, collecting one of the blades and inspecting the edge with bored precision.
“You never knew me. Don’t act like you’re qualified to notice the difference.”
There was a pause before James answered, and even though Regulus wasn’t watching, he could feel it: the sting of recognition, the slight falter in breath, the barely-there shift in stance.
“You were Sirius’ brother,” James said at last, quiet but certain. “You were quiet. Brilliant. A little cold, maybe—”
“Stop romanticizing me,” Regulus cut in sharply. “Whatever you imagined, it wasn’t real. You never looked at me twice unless Sirius was ranting about how I was the next great evil.”
James’s voice dropped, gentler now.
“That’s not true.”
Regulus drove the knife into the table with a sharp, deliberate motion, the blade sinking into the wood as if it offered no more resistance than soft fruit. His voice was low, bitterly edged.
“Isn’t it?”
James didn’t flinch. He just looked at him in the way that always made Regulus feel like he’d been split open and left on display. It wasn’t just annoying. It was infuriating.
Because James Potter, golden boy, Gryffindor prince, Sirius' shadow, wasn’t supposed to see him. Not like this. Not past the sharp words and colder armour. Not into whatever cracked thing was still clawing at the inside of Regulus’ ribs, begging not to be witnessed.
“I remember you,” James said, quieter still. “In the Great Hall. Always sitting just a little straighter than everyone else. Always listening. Always watching like you were three moves ahead of the rest of us. You hated attention, but you never missed anything. You knew things before they happened, like you were already living through the aftermath.”
Regulus looked away. His jaw tightened, muscle ticking beneath pale skin. He swallowed hard against the sudden heat in his throat, resenting how easily James could still pull pieces of him into the light, even after all these years.
James stepped forward again, slower this time. “Whatever you’re doing now, the silence, the way you vanish for days, it’s not for nothing. I just want to know. Why?”
Regulus let out a quiet, humourless huff, tilting his head as if considering whether James was serious or just stupid.
“You keep tabs on me now?” he said, voice clipped and sharp, but not quite cold enough to hide the tension coiled underneath.
James didn’t rise to the bait. His eyes stayed on him, steady and perceptive. He saw him having the same expression during Quidditch matches.
“No one has to. You disappear, and things happen. People talk. Traps are reset in patterns only someone trained would use. You show up again, thinner, quieter, sometimes even bleeding through your shirt like it’s fucking normal, and the trades start again around town.”
“I don’t owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t,” James admitted. “But I’m asking anyway.”
Regulus was silent for a beat, watching the flames. “And if I told you it is none of your fucking business?”
James shrugged. “Then I’d say that’s a shit answer.”
Regulus looked back at him slowly, eyes hard.
“I’m not telling you anything, so you can take your little list of questions and shove it.”
James studied him for a beat, then nodded slowly. “Then I guess I’ll have to keep asking another time.”
“Whatever floats your boat, Potter. The answer will be the same.”
He reached into his coat and pulled out a wrapped parcel, roughly the size of a book — thick brown paper tied with fraying string, already stained slightly at the corners.
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “What is that?”
James held it out, casually. “Deer meat. Freshly cut.”
“I don’t need charity.”
James huffed a small breath, somewhere between amusement and irritation. “It’s not charity. Consider it a returning gift.”
“What for?”
“The wolfsbane.” James met his gaze directly. “I know it’s from you.”
Regulus looked at him then, sharp and guarded. “I never signed the bottle.”
“You didn’t need to.” James stepped forward and set the package on the edge of the table near the daggers. “Your presence in our house today was confirmation enough.”
Regulus said nothing for a long moment.
“What are you going to tell Sirius? He probably weighed every ounce of meat already.”
James shrugged. “That would be my problem, sparrow.”
Regulus froze. His entire body stilled as if the word had struck something deeper than he'd like to admit.
“…What did you just call me?”
James didn’t flinch. His voice was quiet. Steady.
“Sparrow,” James said, almost to himself at first. “It suits you.”
Regulus stared at him, face unreadable.
James didn’t look away. Didn’t soften. He just offered the faintest smile, not unkind, but knowing, worn around the edges.
“Borrowed one of Moony’s Muggle books. Sparrows mean loyalty. Even when it hurts. Even when it costs more than it should.” His gaze flicked across Regulus’ face, as if memorising the places the words were landing. “You always look like you’ve got your wings folded so tight you’ve forgotten they were ever meant to open. Like you never really believed they were yours.”
Regulus stared at him. No smile. No sarcasm. Just a sudden silence so dense it made the air feel heavy.
“Get out,” he said.
James raised his eyebrows slightly. “I didn’t—”
“Get. Out.”
The final word was colder than anything that had come before — not a shout, but something sharp and final, like ice cracking beneath a boot.
James lingered only a second longer, eyes searching Regulus’ face for something he wouldn’t find, then he pulled open the door and disappeared into the night.
Regulus stood in the middle of the room, the silence pressing in around him, broken only by the quiet crackling of the dying fire. He looked at the parcel of meat on the table, then turned away from it like it burned.
James pulled his collar higher as boots crunched against the snow-packed street and froze when he saw two shadows approaching from the edge of the square, side by side, half-draped in wool and exhaustion.
Evan stopped first, posture tight. Watchful. His sharp gaze flicked immediately toward the house, then to James, then to the tension still clinging to his shoulders.
Barty, on the other hand, just grinned like a hound that had already sniffed where the blood was spilled.
“Well, well,” Barty drawled, voice lazy and too loud in the quiet. “Evening, Potter. What brings your pompous ass all the way to our doorstep? Went in to poke the bear? Or just feeling sentimental?”
James started walking again and offered a short, dry laugh over his shoulder. “Just dropping off a bone. Figured your little guard dog inside might need something to gnaw on.”
Barty let out a sharp, delighted bark of laughter as James disappeared into the dark.
Evan didn’t smile. His eyes were still locked on the front door, his jaw tight.
They stepped inside together and saw Regulus by the table, arms braced on the wood, staring at the package like it had started whispering to him.
Barty’s voice cut through the quiet like a blade.
“Why was James bloody Potter leaving our house?”
Regulus didn’t answer.
Evan began to pull off his gloves carefully, watching both of them from the corner of his eye.
“Well, this is new,” Barty continued, unbothered. “Should we expect tea and biscuits next? Or are you just trading secrets for nostalgia now?”
Regulus’ shoulders tensed, but still he said nothing.
Evan stepped in gently. “Barty—”
But Barty was already circling the table, eyes catching on the parcel James had left behind. He leaned in, sniffed dramatically, and raised both brows.
“Is that meat?” he said. “Holy shit—did you suck him off or something?”
Regulus’ head snapped up, his voice cutting through the air like a lash.
“Read the fucking room and fuck off, Crouch.”
Silence dropped like a stone between them.
Barty grinned, unfazed, clearly delighted by how deeply he’d struck.
“Touched a nerve,” he sing-songed, shrugging off his cloak and tossing it over the nearest chair. “I’m just saying, if there’s more where that came from, I’m happy to keep my mouth shut. Or open. Whatever works for him. Sorry, love,” he winked at Evan, “survival requests sacrifices.”
Evan shot him a look. “Barty.”
Regulus muttered under his breath, something low and cold as he grabbed the parcel, shoved it into the small cupboard near the hearth, and closed the door with enough force to rattle the cups.
Evan gave Barty one last warning glance, one that said enough without needing to say anything at all. Barty held up his hands in mock surrender, still grinning, but backed off toward the hearth, muttering something under his breath about “bloody touchy nobles.”
Evan turned back to Regulus, gaze steady and quiet. He didn’t push with force. Just stood there, hands relaxed at his sides, voice low.
“You want to talk about it?”
Regulus didn’t answer.
He didn’t even look up. He kept his eyes fixed on the cupboard door like he could will the deer meat into something else. Something less kind.
Barty shifted in the background, pulling off his boots, shaking snow onto the floor without a care. The fire crackled low. The wind pressed against the window like it wanted in.
Evan didn’t ask again. He just stayed nearby, quietly filling the space like he always did, present but not demanding.
Then finally, after what felt like minutes but might’ve only been one long breath, Regulus straightened, shoulders squaring as if he'd recalibrated himself.
“I’m taking the round tonight,” he said.
His voice was cold. Clean. Professional.
Barty looked up from where he was unlacing his boots. “What? Why? You took it last night.”
“I’m aware,” Regulus said flatly.
Evan shifted slightly. “You don’t have to, Reggie. I can take it.”
“I said I’m taking it.”
Something in his tone shut down the argument before it could start.
Barty scoffed and flopped down into one of the beds. “Suit yourself. I, for one, enjoy sleeping while I still can.”
Regulus didn’t respond. He moved toward the corner where the chair sat. The blanket he usually kept there for warmth was already draped across the arm, folded with a precision that spoke more to habit than comfort.
Evan reached for the kettle, filled it with water, and set it over the fire without a word.
“You haven’t slept properly in three days,” Evan said from the hearth, voice calm but firm. “You don’t have to keep doing this.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Bullshit,” Barty muttered, stretching like a cat. “You just like brooding in silence while the rest of us try to have dreams that aren’t soaked in blood.”
Regulus ignored them both. He pulled the heavy wool cloak from the back of the chair and dropped it across the seat, padding the backrest, preparing it like he had a dozen nights before. It wasn’t about comfort. It never was.
The night watch wasn’t a patrol. There was nowhere to go. It meant sitting by the front window, wrapped in cold and silence, eyes locked on the dark street, listening for movement. For a footstep. For the whistle of a hex. It meant being the one to wake the others if the world decided to end again at two in the morning.
It meant waiting.
“You don’t always have to stay awake when it hurts.” Evan's voice dropped, low and quiet.
Regulus didn’t look at him. He unfolded the blanket and settled into the chair.
“I know,” he said.
And then he went still, his eyes already watching the empty street.
Chapter 5: The dying star
Notes:
Soo, this is it. We're getting into the belly of the beast, starting with this chapter. Let me know what you think! 😊
Please be mindful of the TWs as this chapter includes graphic violent ideation and deep psychological trauma.
Zbigniew Preisner- Van Den Budenmayer: Concerto en mi mineur
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sirius had found himself thinking more than once about how it might feel to kill his brother.
Not in the way people joke when they’re angry, not some passing flare of fury tossed off in a fit of sarcasm or frustration. No, Sirius didn’t have that kind of rage. His was the kind that settled deep in the marrow, slow-burning and corrosive, twisting itself into something far more dangerous. What came to him wasn’t abstract—it was vivid. Tangible. Whole scenes, so detailed they felt like memories, except they weren’t.
He saw it clearly: the blade, the moment, the look in Regulus’s eyes.
He imagined plunging a knife into his brother’s gut. He thought about how the skin would give first, stretching before it split, and how Regulus might suck in a breath, or make a sound low and guttural. A grunt. Maybe a hiss of disbelief. Maybe even silence, like he was above giving Sirius the satisfaction.
He imagined doing it slowly. Not out of sadism, at least, that’s what he told himself, but because it had to mean something. Every slice, every push of the blade, had weight. A catalogue of betrayals, of words left unsaid, of the years they spent circling each other like ghosts in the same castle. He pictured carving through the ribs, one by one, pressing hard enough to feel the muscle give way. His rage demanded precision. Each strike deliberate. Each one personal.
He imagined slitting Regulus’s throat. The way the blood would pulse out in thick, steaming ribbons, staining the snow like spilled wine. He imagined the way Regulus would twitch, that final resistance as his body tried, instinctively, to live, clutching at the wound, eyes wide with shock, the way all dying things gasped when warmth fled. He imagined leaving him there, face down in the snow, splayed open like a gutted animal, discarded and meaningless.
But the one he came back to, the image that never really left, the one that haunted him in the quiet hours between waking and sleep, was simpler.
His hands.
Just his hands.
Fingers closing around Regulus’s delicate throat. Thumbs pressing into the soft hollow just beneath the jaw. No wand. No spells. No weapons. Just touch. Just skin on skin. He imagined the way Regulus would struggle, maybe even claw at him, and how Sirius would hold on anyway. Just raw strength and years of buried hurt. A mercy and a punishment, all at once.
And what terrified him more than the thought itself, more than the blood, the violence, the betrayal, was how calm he felt when he thought about it. How quiet the rage became when he pictured the end of it. How peaceful.
It felt… right, in a way that nothing else did.
Because it would be personal.
Because it would be deserved.
He didn’t want to kill him from across a battlefield. He didn’t want to curse him into dust. No. That wasn’t enough. That was mercy.
But even as he thought about it, even as the hunger for violence pressed sharp against the back of his teeth, there was something else inside him, too. Something fouler. Something far more dangerous.
Grief.
Old, rotting, relentless grief.
It sat in him like poison, thick and putrid, and he hated himself for carrying it.
He hated that sometimes, late at night when everything was quiet, he still heard Regulus’ laugh the way it used to be. Soft, a little breathless, too rare to be real. He hated that he remembered the way Regulus used to sit beside him on the stairs when they were boys, knees pulled up to his chest, asking him questions about the stars and looking at Sirius like he had all the answers.
He hated that he'd mourned him.
Cried for him.
Held the weight of his death like lead in his chest for years.
And now Regulus was alive. Walking and breathing and existing like he hadn’t torn a hole through Sirius and left him to bleed quietly in the wreckage.
No explanation. No apology. Just walked back into their lives like his disappearance hadn’t shattered Sirius into pieces. Like it hadn’t nearly destroyed what was left of him.
After the Prophet's announcement, he started fighting with Remus almost every day, for reasons so small and stupid they couldn’t be real. A wrong look. A wrong word. A cup left half-full. A coat hung too close to the door. Everything made Sirius feel like he was drowning, and Remus was always there, standing still, calm, not grieving the right way.
And Sirius resented him for it.
So, he lashed out again and again, cutting Remus down with words because it was easier than admitting he was hurting. Easier than saying, I don’t know how to live with this weight in my chest. Easier than confessing that Regulus’s disappearance had split something inside him down the middle.
At first, Remus had stood there and taken it, patient in that way Sirius had once loved him for, quiet, enduring, steady, but eventually, even that began to erode. His eyes started to dull, as if watching Sirius rot from the inside was wearing him thin. As if he no longer believed he could save the person standing in front of him.
And James…
James had gone quiet.
Too quiet.
No shouting. No yelling back. No slamming doors. Just silence, cold and final. Sirius didn’t even notice at first, so caught up in his own grief that it didn’t register when James’ flame dulled. Until one morning when he woke up and James was gone.
No note. No explanation. Just… absence.
They found out later that he had gone looking for Regulus’s body. Walked alone into a Death Eater-held territory, following half-whispered rumours and the desperate, irrational hope that maybe there’d be something left to bury. Something to give them closure. To make Sirius’ ache mean something.
He found a pack of ferals instead and nearly died for a corpse that never existed.
It was Moody who brought him back. Carried him bleeding, through the snow. James didn’t talk for days after that.
And Sirius had watched it happen.
Watched his best friend vanish beneath guilt, watched his Moony flinch when he raised his voice, watched everything they'd worked so hard to protect slipping further and further away.
And all of it—every fracture, every scar—traced back to one boy’s absence. To the space he left behind.
To the fact that Sirius had loved him, even when he didn’t want to. Still did, maybe, in the worst, darkest corners of his heart. And there was no place to put that now, no clean ending, no funeral, no grave. Just a brother standing in front of him again, very much alive, with blood on his hands and no apology in his mouth.
So yes, Sirius wanted to kill him.
He wanted to hurt him. Because if he didn’t let the fury devour him whole, if he didn’t throw himself headfirst into the fire of it, all that would be left was the grief.
And Sirius Black didn’t survive grief.
Grief hollowed. Grief made him small. Made him silent.
But rage? Rage kept his heart beating. Rage gave him shape. Kept him alive.
And the worst part, the thing that curdled in his stomach like spoiled milk, was that none of it, not a single ounce of his fury, had anything to do with the war when he saw Regulus today.
It was because his baby brother had been sitting on his couch.
In his house.
Talking to his Moony.
Like he belonged there.
Sirius clenched his jaw so tight it ached. Like he hadn’t vanished off the face of the earth and come back like a curse. Like the last five years hadn’t happened. Like he hadn’t shattered the people Sirius loved most and scattered the pieces so far across the battlefield they’d never find their way back.
Regulus had looked comfortable.
And Remus had looked at him like that meant something.
Sirius clenched his jaw so tightly it felt like something might snap. His teeth ached. His whole body buzzed like it was trying to crawl out of itself.
Regulus had always been good at pretending, better than any of them. He could lie without blinking. He could weaponize silence. With the tilt of his head and the calm of his voice. And the way Remus looked at him now, like there was something worth saving in him, made Sirius sick.
He wanted to tear the whole moment apart. Shatter it. Burn it.
And he almost did. He almost crossed the room and grabbed Regulus by the collar and dragged him out into the street, screaming until the whole village woke to see the Black brothers killing each other like dogs.
He wanted to remind everyone, and most of all, Regulus, that this was his life. His people. His home.
But Remus caught his eye, and he didn’t say anything. Just looked at him, calm, grounded, and patient. So he didn’t move.
He stood there, every muscle in his body screaming to destroy, and watched his little brother walk out of the house with his shoulders squared like he hadn’t just poisoned the air by stepping into it.
What gnawed at Sirius was also James.
Because James' eyes lingered on the door long after it shut. Like he was still watching. Like he wanted to follow.
And that made Sirius’ skin crawl because Sirius Black had never learned how to share.
Not love.
Not loyalty.
And most definitely, not them.
Lately, there was something in James…something off. Not loud. Not obvious. James had never been one for subtlety, but this? This was quiet. Observant. Watchful in a way that made Sirius anxious.
He saw it in the way James’s eyes tracked Regulus across the village square. Just a flicker, just a second too long, but Sirius saw it. Heard it in the pauses between words, the breaths James held for no reason, the way he asked about Regulus like he wasn’t asking anything at all. Phrased so carefully, like the truth was a door he was afraid to open too fast.
Why the fuck was James so focused on him?
He'd confronted him about it more than once. Cornered him in the kitchen, behind the old pantry, outside by the traps, and every fucking time, James had said the same infuriating thing:
"You’re overreacting, Pads. Give him a break."
Sirius had nearly laughed in his face. A break? After what Regulus had done? After the silence, the lies, the years of pretending to be dead while the rest of them bled through a war?
“You don’t know him,” Sirius had snapped once, pacing like a caged animal. “You think you do because he says things with that calm, deadpan little voice and pretends he's useful. But you didn’t grow up with him. You didn’t watch him become this.”
But what exactly was “this”? A shadow? A ghost in human skin? Something clever enough to survive while everyone else was dying?
James hadn’t flinched. Just stood there with his arms crossed, jaw set. Steady in that maddening way only James Potter could be.
“I know you, Sirius. And I know when you’re looking for reasons to hurt someone.”
That had shut him up because a small, ugly part of Sirius wasn’t sure he was wrong.
Still, he couldn’t shake it. Couldn’t stand the way James sometimes looked at Regulus, like he was trying to understand him. Like he was searching for the cracks in all that cold marble.
As if something in Regulus deserved to be salvaged.
And Sirius wanted to scream because he knew that his little brother was not made of stone or marble.
He was made of razors — polished, quiet, beautiful, and dangerous. Sharp enough to cut you to the bone while you admired the shine.
And Sirius wasn’t going to sit there and watch his best friend bleed for him again.
Regulus was barely out the door when Sirius turned, eyes narrowing. The cold hadn’t even finished seeping out of the room before he was already on edge.
“What’s that?” he barked, jerking his chin toward the small glass vial glinting on the table.
Remus followed his gaze, then moved to pick it up, calm and casual. He slipped it into his pocket with practiced ease.
“Wolfsbane.”
Sirius stiffened like he’d been slapped. “Give it here.”
Remus looked at him, puzzled, one brow twitching upward. “What?”
“I said give it here,” Sirius repeated, stepping forward now, voice a low snarl. “You can’t possibly think you’re taking that.”
Remus’ face didn’t change, but he shifted back a step, already bracing for the blow. He’d seen the start of this before, seen it simmer under Sirius’s skin like poison, just waiting for the right excuse to rise. “Sirius, don’t.”
“You don’t know what’s in it,” Sirius hissed. “You think that’s just wolfsbane? What if it’s laced with poison? Or a blood-binding? Or a fucking hex that eats you from the inside out and we don’t see it until it’s too late?”
“Sirius,” Remus said again, quieter this time, jaw tight. “You’re being paranoid.”
“No, I’m being careful,” Sirius snapped, rounding on him. “There’s a difference.”
He turned sharply toward James, frantic now, searching his face for backup, for that old flash of protective fire James had always carried like a torch for them all. “Prongs. Come on. Say something.”
But James didn’t say anything. He just stood there, arms folded, the way he did when he didn’t want to choose sides because he already had.
“Padfoot…” he said gently, “It’s just a potion.”
That was it.
That soft tone, that gentle, cautious mercy in James’ voice, cracked something in Sirius wide open.
“WHY the fuck are you trusting him?” Sirius exploded, voice echoing off the walls like a curse. “Why the fuck are both of you acting like this is normal?”
“Sirius—” Remus tried, raising a hand, but Sirius pushed forward.
“No,” he barked, stepping forward, face flushed with fury. “You don’t get to talk right now. He’s not one of us. He never was. Don’t you remember what it was like? Every time we saw the Dark Mark, every time a mission went to hell, I wondered. I thought, ‘Maybe it was him. Maybe he turned us in.’ I thought he was dead. I carried that. I mourned that.”
His voice cracked, just barely. He didn’t let it show.
“And now he just shows up, slipping potions like some fucking messiah, and you thank him?”
Remus exhaled, slow, through his nose. But his expression shifted. There was something heavier there now. A bone-deep exhaustion. He didn’t look angry. He looked like someone who’d spent months preparing for this exact conversation and still hadn’t built a shield strong enough for it.
“He’s been dropping that potion off every full moon, Sirius,” Remus said quietly. “Since winter started. Before that, it was Mandrake leaves and Hellebore syrup to keep the fevers down. How do you think I managed?”
Sirius looked stunned. His mouth opened, then closed.
“Lily and the girls—” he tried, his voice catching on the familiar names, desperate to make it make sense.
“No,” Remus interrupted gently but firmly. “They stopped brewing it months ago. Not enough supplies. It’s been him. Every time.”
Sirius turned away like he’d been burned. His whole body tensed, his jaw grinding audibly as he paced, fingers twitching at his sides like he wanted to punch a wall.
“Don’t do this,” he said, voice low. “Don’t make me the crazy one for not forgetting what he’s done.”
“No one’s asking you to forget,” James said softly, finally stepping in. “But maybe… maybe we can try to see what he’s doing now. Not what he was.”
“He doesn’t get redemption,” Sirius hissed.
“He’s not asking for it,” Remus replied.
Sirius turned back to both of them, eyes red-rimmed with fury and something far more fragile.
“You don’t know him,” he spat, jabbing a finger at Remus’s chest. “You think you do because he speaks gently and hands you fucking medicine like some penitent priest, but that’s not who he is... He is dangerous, and the second he gets what he wants, he will cut your throat in your sleep!”
Remus’s mouth opened, but closed again, eyes narrowed, lips tight. He looked like he wanted to say a hundred things, but didn’t trust even one of them to land.
“You think I’m mad,” Sirius said, shaking his head. His voice dropped, low and cracked and unraveling. “You both think I’m some raving lunatic with too much grief in his head.”
“Sirius…” Remus tried.
“Don’t.” Sirius’s voice was shaking now, and something was breaking underneath it—something not even anger could hold together anymore. “You don’t get to look at me like that. Not you.” He shook his head again.
“You don’t understand! What if he’s playing the long game? What if we trust him and he tears everything down again?”
There was silence.
Then Remus spoke, voice quiet but certain. “What if he doesn’t?”
The room was heavy with silence. Thick. Suffocating.
“I’m going to the shack,” Sirius muttered, grabbing his coat from the hook by the door. “See you there.”
He didn’t wait for an answer. The door slammed behind him with a gust of cold air, the sound echoing briefly before silence settled over the room.
James didn’t move. He stood frozen in place, staring at the door like it might open again, like maybe Sirius would come back in and laugh it off, say something irreverent, pretend the fury hadn’t bled through every word.
But he didn’t.
And after a long moment, James exhaled through his nose and rubbed a hand over his face, dragging his fingers across his jaw like he was trying to scrub the tension right off his skin. His eyes were tired. Not just in the way people get from lack of sleep, but in the way they get when sleep hasn’t helped for months.
Remus still hadn’t moved. His arms were crossed loosely, eyes tracking James. He wasn’t saying anything, but he was watching closely now, like he always did when someone was hurting and trying not to show it. He’d gotten good at reading past the surface.
James finally turned toward him. “He’s going to explode eventually,” he said, voice low and flat. “I just hope it’s not in the middle of the village.”
Remus let out a dry sound, halfway between a sigh and a laugh. “He already is. Just in smaller, more concentrated doses.”
James gave a tight nod. Then his gaze drifted toward the window, catching on the faint frost clinging to the corners of the glass. For a moment, he looked far away. Like he was watching someone who wasn’t there anymore.
“I think I’m gonna go check on him,” James said, grabbing his coat from the chair back. “He looked like hell.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “He always looks like that.”
“Yeah,” James admitted, voice softer now.. “But tonight… I don’t know. Something’s off. He left too quietly, even for him.”
Remus didn’t stop him, but there was something in his demeanour that made him frown at his friend.
James paused halfway to the door. “I’ll take some of the meat with me,” he added. “We’ve got enough. He probably hasn’t eaten.”
“Yeah,” Remus said softly. “No worries.”
James hesitated then, hand on the door, jaw working like there was more he wanted to say and wasn’t sure how.
“Moony…” James said suddenly, his voice uncertain, like it didn’t belong to him.
Remus lifted his head. “Yeah?”
James turned halfway back, his eyes searching Remus’ face in the dim light. “You did meet him, didn’t you? Back then. Before he came back.”
Remus stilled. The question landed in his chest like a stone. His breath hitched.
“When we all thought he was dead,” James added.
For a long moment, Remus didn’t answer. His face froze the way it always did when truth collided with memory. Something in his throat caught, and his whole body went quiet.
“James…” he said at last, the name stretched thin. “I… I promised.”
James didn’t look surprised. He just nodded, once, slowly, like he was confirming something he’d suspected for a while. He didn’t ask anything else, but his mouth pressed into a line and his shoulders dropped, just slightly, like something unspoken had just gotten heavier.
He turned toward the door again. But just before he touched the handle, Remus’s voice stopped him.
“Prongs?”
James paused, turning halfway back. “Yeah?”
Remus’s gaze was sharp now—sharper than before. Not cruel, not angry. Just tired. And knowing. The kind of knowing that made it hard for James to lie without sounding like a coward.
“Why do you care so much?”
James blinked. “What?”
“About Regulus,” Remus said, quieter this time. “Why do you care what happens to him? Why do you keep going after him, checking on him, defending him when Sirius loses it?”
He didn’t sound angry. He sounded like someone who had run out of space to pretend not to notice.
“He’s not your friend. He’s not even your responsibility. So… why?”
James looked at him for a long moment, silent.
Then he offered the answer he always did, the one that didn’t cost anything.
“He’s just Padfoot’s brother,” he said lightly, shrugging as if that settled it. “What else?”
But Remus didn’t buy it. Didn’t even blink. He just tilted his head slightly, watching James the way he used to watch broken magical creatures in the forest, patiently, like he was waiting for the truth to rise on its own.
“You don’t believe that,” he said quietly. Not a question, but a fact.
James held his gaze for a second too long, the corner of his mouth twitching like he wanted to argue, then stopped himself. The silence between them stretched thin.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” James muttered, turning back to the door. “See you tomorrow.”
Remus’s voice was soft as snow. “Take care of yourself.”
James turned back, and for the first time that night, he smiled. A small, tired thing, but real.
“You too, Moony.”
And then he was gone.
Notes:
Sorry for picturing Sirius like this 😭
It gets worse before it gets better tag is there for a reason
Chapter 6: The setting sun
Notes:
Goofy, funny James? Always. But a James who’s barely holding it together? Abso-fucking-lutely
Nirvana- Heart-Shaped Box
TW: survivor’s guilt, explicit signs of self-loathing
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
There were many things James Potter hated.
First and foremost, he hated what the world had become.
He hated the way Hogsmeade looked now. Once, this village had been full of sound. Of laughter, of children rushing out of shops with sticky hands and flushed cheeks, of Honeydukes and Zonko’s and the clink of butterbeer glasses in the Three Broomsticks. Now it was just rubble. Ruined signs creaking in the wind. A street that looked like it belonged to ghosts more than the living.
James tried not to look at it too long when he walked through. Tried to pretend, for the others' sake, that it was just a bad winter. That the snow and ruin would melt eventually, and spring would bring something better. But he knew. Deep down, in the place where he stored the names of the dead, he knew it would never go back to what it was.
He hated how Hogwarts loomed above it all like a mausoleum instead of a school, tall and grey and watchful, as though the castle itself had been hollowed out and was waiting to collapse under the weight of history. Every time he looked up at it, something in his chest turned cold. It no longer felt like home. It felt like a place where memories went to die.
Worse still, James hated what magic had become.
Magic used to sing through his bones. It had once been joy itself — alive and reckless, something he could dance with, something that glowed at the edges of every day. He used to duel for fun. To transfigure objects just to make Sirius laugh. He used to throw spells like sparks and chase light for the thrill of it. But now, every incantation felt like a blade.
Magic had become a burden. A battlefield. A tool for survival, nothing more.
And James was tired of surviving.
But he never said that out loud.
Because James Potter, Prongs, the loud one, the confident one, the glue of their little universe, had a role to play. He wore his easy grin like armour. Told bad jokes. Ruffled hair that didn’t need ruffling. He was still the first one to break the tension with a smirk and a “well, at least we didn’t die today, so that’s a win, yeah?”
He was the one who carried on like he believed they were going to win this thing. Like the Order was still a living thing and not a slow, bleeding body. He was good at the performance.
But beneath the charm, beneath the practiced wit and boyish shoulder slaps, he was fraying.
Quietly. Relentlessly.
There were cracks in him now, spreading deeper with each month that passed. Sometimes he heard himself laugh and didn’t recognize the sound. Sometimes he said something brave and noble and thought, Who the fuck am I talking to? Who am I trying to convince?
James Potter sometimes missed the boy he used to be. The boy who had believed the world could be fixed if you just fought hard enough. Who believed good would win because good deserved to. But that boy had been buried under rubble long ago. And the James who remained in the aftermath was still digging through the remains, trying to pretend he didn’t know it.
So he grinned. He cracked jokes. He patched Sirius up when he came back bloody and shaking. He checked on Regulus, because someone had to. He kept talking like hope was a thing they still had a grip on.
James Potter hated watching his friends unravel.
He hated watching Sirius break apart piece by piece — not in dramatic, cataclysmic ways, but in slow fractures that spread under the surface. Sirius was angry now in a way that felt different. Not loud and wild like in school, not the mischief-fuelled rage that always passed. This was something colder. Sharper. Barbed and bloodthirsty, stitched together with grief and exhaustion and something James didn’t want to name, because if he did, he wasn’t sure he could still reach him.
Remus, on the other hand, wasn’t breaking. Not visibly anyway.
Moony was dissolving. Quietly. Systematically. Not in fire, but in silence. James saw it in the way he stood a little farther back than he used to, in how he never raised his voice anymore, how his gaze seemed fixed on something always a little too far away. He never asked for help. Never complained. But James recognised the weight dragging at his spine, the stillness in his expression that came from carrying too much for too long.
And then there was Lily.
Lily, still brilliant and fierce, walked through hell every day with her head held high, still managing to keep the others upright. She found the right words when no one else could. She kept giving and giving, and no one remembered to ask her if she had anything left. And that broke him too, in a quieter, more personal way.
But what hurt more, what lingered, was how the war had taken everything from him.
They had loved each other once. Fiercely. Desperately. It had been a thing of fire and gravity, a collision they both surrendered to without hesitation. James had been so sure, so certain, that what they had could withstand anything.
But after Hogwarts, after the celebrations dulled and the battles started piling up, their love, that bright, burning thing that had once made everything seem possible, began to flicker.
It didn’t fall apart all at once. There was no great betrayal, no explosive fight, no slammed doors or screamed accusations. It ended the way so many things did during wartime: quietly, without fanfare. It faded like an old photograph left in the sun — edges curled, colours dulled, but the ghost of what had been was still visible if you looked close enough.
They stopped laughing together. Stopped reaching for each other in the dark. It was subtle — missed glances, conversations left unfinished, questions asked without looking up. Until one day, James realized he couldn’t remember the last time she had touched him just to touch him. Or the last time he’d told her something he hadn’t already rehearsed in his head.
The war devoured love like that.
It took and took and took, until all that was left between them was exhaustion and duty. They became two people living in the same house, fighting the same war, sleeping in the same bed, but waking up on opposite sides of something neither of them could name.
Roommates. Partners, perhaps, in the logistical sense, but not lovers. Not anymore.
And sometimes, in the quiet hours before dawn when his mind wouldn’t let him rest, James asked himself whether it had ever truly been love in the first place or just the wild infatuation of two bright, desperate teenagers clinging to something beautiful in a world that was already beginning to fall apart.
Because if it had been real, why hadn’t it endured?
Why hadn’t it withstood the storm like Sirius and Remus had? Their love, though often strained, had survived. It bent, but never broke. Why hadn’t it held like Peter and Emmeline’s?
Why had they fallen?
James never voiced the question. Not to Lily. Not to anyone. Because asking might tear open wounds neither of them had the strength to close again.
Instead, he smiled. Played the role. Made breakfast. Gave her space. Told himself that maybe love could still come back if he waited long enough. If he was good enough. If he kept being the James Potter everyone needed him to be.
But it sat with him all the same, lodged behind his ribs like a splinter he couldn’t dig out, humming like guilt, low and constant.
Maybe I didn’t try hard enough.
The thought never came gently. It crashed, uninvited and merciless, in the moments between battles, in the hollow silences after others had gone to bed. It haunted him not as a question but a condemnation.
Maybe he hadn’t been the kind of man worth staying for. Maybe he hadn’t fought the right way, hadn’t loved the right way, hadn’t been enough — not for Lily, not for Sirius, not for Remus, not for anyone.
Maybe he wasn’t meant to be someone’s home.
Maybe he was just built to burn for the sake of others, to throw himself between danger and those he loved and hope it counted for something.
And even that, lately, felt like a role he was failing at too.
Through it all, James felt utterly, pathetically powerless. And that, more than anything, made him want to scream. He had been raised to be more than this — raised on stories of bravery and purpose and light, told again and again that people like him, people with conviction and courage, could change the world.
But the world didn’t care.
The world took and took and left scars in its place. And somewhere along the way, he’d lost control of the story he was meant to be living. He had lost control of himself.
The boy he used to be had become a ghost in his own skin.
And this, perhaps, was the most poisonous truth of all: he hated himself.
He hated the mirror. Hated the man who stared back at him, with eyes too dark, too tired, too hollow to pass for anything human anymore. Eyes rimmed with sleepless nights and silent grief. Eyes that belonged to someone older than twenty-three, someone who had seen too much and still believed it wasn’t enough.
He hated the weakness he saw there. The fear. The questions he couldn’t ask out loud.
Because the war hadn’t just changed him. It had eroded him. Bit by bit, it had stripped him of the boy he’d once been, until all that was left was this jagged echo of James Potter. Still laughing, still loud when it mattered, still brave on the outside, but crumbling inside.
No one saw it because he hid it well. He wore his recklessness like armour, deflected with jokes, spoke in clipped bursts of false optimism, but inside, the truth had taken root: James didn’t believe that version of himself anymore.
The nightmares had started halfway through the war, and they’d only worsened in the months since.
He never talked about them, but they clung to him like a second skin.
In them, he was always alone. The sky was always red, and everyone he loved was already dead. Sirius’ body in pieces. Remus torn apart. Lily — God, Lily — staring at him with hollow eyes, lips parted like she was about to say something.
And he was covered in their blood.
Always.
Drenched in it. Hands shaking. Breathing heavy. Looking down at himself and seeing nothing but failure written in crimson.
Sometimes, he woke up mid-scream, teeth clenched, nails biting into his palms so hard they bled. Other times, he couldn’t even scream. Just lay there in the dark, eyes wide open, too afraid to sleep again, too numb to cry.
He once promised himself he would be more. That he’d fight smarter. Be the one who held the line. He made vows to the universe that he’d protect them all, even if it killed him.
But how could he do that if he couldn’t even save himself?
When Regulus Black was thrown into the village square like a broken doll, bleeding into the dirt, something cracked in him. He had already been breaking, but that was the moment the last part of him, the part that still believed he could manage this, snapped.
The image lodged itself in a different part of him. One that pulsed quieter. Deeper.
He couldn’t say when exactly he started watching Regulus. Couldn’t pinpoint the moment his eyes began to linger too long. It crept in like fog under a door, uninvited, and unnoticed until it was everywhere.
At first, it had been distrust. Regulus was a risk, a symbol of everything James had learned not to trust. The Slytherin prince with too many secrets and too little warmth, who moved like he didn’t want to be seen. The little brother who almost destroyed his best friend.
Then it became curiosity. It was like watching a flame from across the room. You told yourself you were just making sure it didn’t spread. Just being cautious. But your feet never moved. Your gaze never strayed. And slowly, you started stepping closer, drawn to the warmth even though you knew you would get burned.
Was it because Regulus was Sirius’ brother? A desperate, unconscious attempt to understand the piece of Sirius no one else could touch?
Was it because James had been taught to look for light in dark places, and Regulus was a cathedral full of shadows, half-collapsed but still standing?
Or was it something else?
Something quieter. Something hungrier. More dangerous. A need he didn’t have the strength to name. A question he never let finish forming, because if he did, he might not be able to walk back from it.
James never let himself explore the question. Never allowed the thought to stretch beyond that line. He didn’t deserve to wonder.
He hated himself too much to afford that kind of softness.
So he stayed still. He watched. He burned. He hated. And he never, ever let himself wonder.
Because the moment he gave that thought a name, it would be real. And real things broke. Real things bled. Real things were lost, and James Potter had lost enough.
James woke up with a throbbing head. The kind that reminded him of the sleepless nights back when things were simpler. When they’d sneak under the Cloak, skirting Filch’s muttering and Mrs. Norris’s cursed tail, and lose themselves in the hidden corners of Hogsmeade, drinking themselves stupid on firewhiskey and laughing like there was no war looming over them.
But now, there was nothing that could explain the pounding at the back of his skull, or the cotton-thick feeling in his mouth.
The house was cold again, the fire long since burned. He forced himself to sit up on the battered mattress, and the room swayed slightly around him.
There was a loneliness in mornings like this, heavy and clinging. The kind that wrapped around the ribs like barbed wire, too tight to rip away.
Most days, he could shove it down. He was good at that. He’d learned to weaponize movement: if he was busy, he wasn’t drowning. If he was fighting, he wasn’t breaking. If he was loud, they wouldn’t hear the cracks. His entire life had become a carefully layered performance — still the bold, smiling James Potter on the outside, even as the man underneath him faded.
James rubbed his temples and swung his legs off the mattress, the boots hitting the cold floor with a dull thud. The light through the window was barely that — a watery smear across the warped wooden floorboards. It didn’t warm anything.
He ran a hand down his face, trying to shake off another night of half-dreams and half-rest, when his mind refused to settle even when his body had begged for stillness. He could barely remember what he dreamt anymore, only that there were always shadows, and always blood.
He stood slowly, muscles stiff, joints sore, and reached for his coat. As he stepped into the hallway, something made him pause. The house was quiet, still wrapped in that early morning hush, and the door to Sirius and Remus’ room was pulled just slightly ajar.
He hesitated for a moment, fingers hovering above the wood, then pushed it open a few inches and peered inside.
The bed was a tangle of blankets and limbs, Sirius curled protectively around Remus, one arm slung low across his waist, foreheads nearly touching. There was something magnetic about the way their bodies pulled toward each other, even in sleep, like no matter what the war took from them, it couldn’t steal that gravitational force. That need to stay close.
James stared, throat tight.
Remus’ face was relaxed, finally free from the quiet torment that had etched itself into every expression he wore awake. Sirius looked more like himself than James had seen in weeks — still coiled with tension, yes, but less haunted.
They were safe. Whole. Breathing.
Still here.
He watched them for a few seconds longer, silent and unmoving, his hand still braced on the doorframe. He didn’t want to wake them up or break the fragile peace they’d managed to find in this moment. Part of him envied it. Part of him felt like an intruder just for witnessing it.
He closed the door softly, careful not to let it creak, and leaned back against the hallway wall. He let himself stay there with his eyes closed, breathing slowly, trying to keep the ache from rising too high in his throat. Then he straightened, pulled on his scarf, and moved toward the kitchen.
He needed to head out soon.
Lily was expecting him, or at the very least, counting on someone to check whether the traps near the ridge had been triggered overnight. They couldn’t afford to miss a day, not with supplies running thin and mouths still needing to be fed.
It was easier, somehow, to focus on food and maps and route rotations. Easier than thinking too long about what it meant to stand outside someone else’s door and feel like a stranger to your own life.
By the time James reached Lily’s house, the cold had seeped into his bones. The Magic Neep looked quiet from the outside, but thin wisps of smoke curled from the chimney, and the faint scent of damp herbs and earth clung to the air.
James raised his hand and knocked once. The door creaked open a few seconds later, and there she was. Lily Evans stood in the doorway, her hair braided messily over one shoulder, an apron dusted with soil tied around her waist. The moment she saw him, her face softened.
“You look like hell,” she said bluntly, but with no real heat.
He gave a humourless smile. “Nice to see you too, Lils.”
She stepped aside, letting him in. The warmth of the house hit James like a wall, rich with the smells of fresh bread and brewing potions. He took off his scarf and followed her into the kitchen, where Marlene was crouched by the fireplace, feeding the flames with dry wood.
“Mary is in the greenhouse,” Lily said over her shoulder, setting a kettle over the fire. “She should be back soon.”
He perched on the edge of one of the chairs, stretching his hands toward the flames, trying to will the feeling back into his fingers.
“No worries. Did you manage to check the traps?”
She shook her head. “Dorcas isn’t feeling well. She was still asleep when I checked an hour ago.”
James looked over at Marlene. His brow furrowed.
“Did something happen?”
Marlene didn’t meet his eyes right away. She tossed another log into the fire.
“Just a cold,” she said. “Not the end of the world. We’ve got a bit of Pepperup Potion left, and that’ll do for now. Lily, maybe add the ingredients to the list? Reggie might be able to scrounge something.”
James stilled.
He blinked once. Then again. Slowly.
“…What?”
His voice didn’t rise. If anything, it lowered.
Lily didn’t look up from the cauldron. She kept stirring, her movements suddenly too measured.
“Reggie said he might head back to the castle,” she said evenly. “He told us to write him a list. Said he’d do what he could.”
James didn’t answer. Not immediately. His gaze dropped to the floorboards. He exhaled slowly, jaw clenched tight, a tension that lived just below the surface, cracking through his expression like fault lines.
Marlene glanced between them, clearly picking up on something but choosing not to comment.
“…He told you?” James finally said. He wasn’t looking at either of them now. “That he is going to the castle again?”
Lily’s stirring slowed. And then stopped.
It took her a beat too long to respond. “I thought— I assumed you knew.”
Something flickered behind James’ eyes. A strange kind of ache, the sort that came when you realized the ground had shifted under you without warning and everyone else had already adapted to the new landscape.
“No,” he said. “He didn’t.”
The silence that followed was thick. Uneasy.
Lily set the spoon down gently beside the cauldron. “James—”
“It’s fine,” he cut in, too quickly. Too tightly. “Doesn’t matter.”
But it did matter. Of course, it did. It mattered that Regulus had been crawling back into that graveyard of a castle and that James was only just finding out from a passing comment like it was something normal.
He hated how much it bothered him. How much space it took up in his chest, this sharp-edged worry he hadn’t given permission to grow.
His mouth opened like he might say something, but nothing came out for a second.
Lily glanced up, and there it was again, the thing he didn’t want her to see.
Concern.
Not a strategic concern. Not the kind you carried for an asset or an informant or a reluctant ally.
Personal concern.
She didn’t say anything. Just watched him from across the room.
James’ eyes were still on the fire, brows furrowed, mouth set in a tight line like he was trying to work something out in his head and hated where it was leading him.
“I’ll check the traps,” he said, reaching for his scarf. “Be back before lunch.”
The path toward the forest had once been an animal trail, narrow and half-swallowed by bramble. The kind of thing you’d miss entirely if you didn’t already know it was there.
Now, after months of careful use, the snow along the trail was ground flat. Earth was packed down where ice had melted and refrozen a dozen times. Tracks overlapped each other in faded layers: boots, paws, the iron drag of crates, once even the dark, rust-brown smear of blood that hadn’t fully washed away. Faint now, but not gone.
James followed the path in silence.
The trees in this part of the wood were skeletal, stripped bare by the winter wind. Their branches reached like fingers, black and brittle against the grey sky, tangled together in a way that always made James feel like he was being watched. To his right, a shallow stream ran through a dip in the terrain, frozen solid. The ice was cracked down the center, spiderwebbed like a shattered window, as though something had fallen into it and tried to crawl back out.
Eventually, the trees thickened, closing around him like a cage. This was where the traps began. Subtle and well-hidden. James passed a snare disguised beneath a layer of dry leaves, a barely visible net suspended between two pine trunks, and a pressure trigger beneath a crooked rock. They weren’t meant for people, but he’d seen what happened when someone careless wandered through without looking. Avery once almost caught his leg in a bear trap.
James crouched over one of the traps, frowning as his fingers brushed the disturbed snow. The mechanism had been triggered, but the bait was untouched. No blood, no fur, no drag marks. Whatever had set it off had slipped free.
He leaned in, intending to reset it, gloved fingers already moving to rearm it, when something cold pressed the side of his throat.
Not cold like snow. Cold like metal.
James froze, muscles locking, breath catching sharp in his throat. His heart stuttered once, then began pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears.
“Care to explain,” came a voice, smooth, low, edged in familiar frost, “why you’re hovering over my trap, Potter?”
James didn’t have to look to know who it was. He would recognise that voice anywhere. That careful, bored lilt. Like everything Regulus Black said was equal parts challenge and mockery.
James raised his hands slowly, the picture of dramatic surrender, and in one breath, he twisted, grabbing the wrist holding the knife, dragging it forward and over his shoulder with practiced ease. The world blurred for a heartbeat, snow and branches rushing past, and then Regulus hit the ground with a muted thud, flat on his back, a faint grunt punched out of him as air escaped his lungs.
The knife landed nearby, half-buried in the snow.
James didn’t hesitate and followed through smoothly, straddling Regulus’ hips with the kind of speed that spoke of too many drills and too many years in this godforsaken war. His own blade was out in a flash, pressed firm against the pale column of Regulus’ throat.
For a second, neither of them moved.
Their breaths misted between them, curling together in the frozen air.
James smirked as he leaned in.
“Need to work on your reflexes, sparrow,” he murmured, voice a low drawl. “You’re getting slow.”
Regulus didn’t flinch. He simply arched a single brow, cool and unreadable, even flat on his back with a blade at his throat.
“Do I now?” he said, tone clipped, unimpressed.
There was a flicker of movement — so subtle that James barely noticed it.
Until he felt it.
A second blade pressed lightly into his ribs, just below the final curve of bone. James glanced down to see a long, narrow hunting knife resting against his coat, held with terrifying steadiness in Regulus’ left hand.
He blinked, then let out a soft huff of laughter. “That’s not very sporting.”
“Neither was throwing me into the snow,” Regulus replied calmly. “But here we are.”
James glanced down, then back up at Regulus’ face. Strands of his hair falling across one cheek, sticking slightly to the corner of his mouth where the snow had started to melt. His breath came in slow, measured pulls, fogging the space between them.
His eyes, green and sharp and endlessly distant, were locked on James. Watching him. Always watching, like he was trying to dissect the motive behind every twitch of his expression.
It unnerved James more than the knife.
“Before I take a better look at your liver,” Regulus said calmly, “why were you hovering over my trap?”
He sat back slightly, loosening his grip, and pulled his blade away from Regulus’ throat.
“Something triggered it,” James said, gesturing loosely toward the trap. “Didn’t catch anything, but the mechanism was sprung. I was just resetting it. No need to get all—”
He waved vaguely, knife still in hand.
“Icky.”
Regulus blinked. “Icky?”
James grinned. “You know. Possessive. Stabby.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but it came half a second too late. The corners of his mouth betrayed him, twitching upward in something perilously close to amusement. Not quite a smile, but the idea of one. A thought he didn’t want to admit having.
James nudged his chin toward the knife still resting under his ribs. “Now, will you be a good boy and do the same?”
He didn’t mean for his voice to drop like that — low, smooth, edged with something that wasn’t quite mocking. He definitely didn’t mean to let his eyes flick down to Regulus’ mouth as he said it.
But they did.
And Regulus caught it.
His gaze sharpened, a breath too still, a fraction too long. The air between them suddenly felt too tight for the space they occupied — thin and tense and buzzing like a live wire. And for the briefest moment, blink-and-you'll-miss-it, colour bloomed across the tops of Regulus’ cheeks. Not much. Just the faintest flush, rising a little too high on his cheekbones to be from the cold alone.
James held very still, eyes on him, half-curious and half-something-else. Watching to see if Regulus would acknowledge it. Speak. Move.
He didn’t, but his fingers shifted.
Without a word, Regulus let the blade fall away, returning it to the sheath at his thigh in one fluid motion. Like nothing had happened. Like James hadn’t just breathed something dangerous into the space between them and waited to see if Regulus would let it catch fire.
James lingered a moment longer, just watching him. He stood slowly, brushing the snow off his knees, trying not to notice the way his heart was still hammering in his chest.
He looked down at Regulus, whose eyes were cast to the side, lashes dark against pink skin, jaw set like he was rebuilding a wall brick by brick.
“What are you doing out here alone?” James asked, trying for casual, though his voice was still too rough, too warm. He offered a hand without thinking, open, steady, the leather glove creaking slightly at the knuckles.
Regulus didn’t take it.
He stood on his own, brushing snow from his coat with methodical precision. As if James’ breath hadn’t ghosted across his cheek, just inches from his mouth.
“What I always do,” Regulus said simply, not looking at him. “Making sure my friends don’t starve.”
James tilted his head, eyes still tracking him.
“Not very Slytherin of you,” he said, half-smile curling at the edge of his mouth, but quieter this time.
Regulus looked up at that, and something passed between them. Something heavy and full of years they hadn’t shared. Wars they hadn’t fought together. Bloodlines, guilt, disappointment. Things they both carried in different ways. Different coats for the same winter.
“You have no idea what Slytherin means, Potter.” Regulus smiled, cold and sharp and very tired.
Maybe not, but he knew how Regulus looked in the snow, wind-touched and unguarded and just human enough that it hurt. He knew how he looked when his mask slipped just enough to show a sliver of the person underneath. Just enough to make James want to reach out and make the rest of it fall away.
They fell into step after that, weaving between the trees in a rhythm that was almost easy, almost normal. Snow crunched underfoot, brittle branches cracked overhead, and the quiet of the woods stretched around them like a held breath. Regulus moved with practiced efficiency, steps precise, eyes flicking from trap to tree line and back again. James trailed half a pace behind, the silence growing heavier the longer he let it sit.
Finally, James broke it.
“Lily told me,” he said, voice light, “that you are going to raid the castle again.”
Regulus didn’t react. He crouched beside a half-buried stone and reached behind it with gloved fingers. When he came back up, there was a limp rabbit in his grip, frozen stiff, legs rigid.
“Evans should learn to keep her mouth shut,” he said simply, slipping the rabbit into the worn leather satchel slung over his shoulder like it was nothing more than firewood.
“She talks because she cares,” James said, brushing snow off a branch as they moved forward again.
“Dangerous habit,” Regulus muttered, tightening the flap on his bag with a soft snap.
“When?” James asked, straightening as they moved deeper into the trees.
“When what?” Regulus didn’t look at him, eyes fixed ahead.
“When are you going?” James repeated, quieter this time.
That made Regulus stop. He turned slowly, snow whispering around his boots as he shifted to face James. There was a flicker of irritation in his eyes, but underneath that was something else. Weariness, maybe.
“You’re not coming,” he said flatly.
James tilted his head, feigning casual. “Didn’t say I was.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “You don’t ask questions unless you’ve already got some idiotic plan forming in that Gryffindor head of yours.”
“Debatable,” James said, crouching beside another trap. This one had caught a squirrel, its tiny body curled awkwardly, eyes glassy.
“Scrawny little things,” he muttered, wrinkling his nose as he picked it up by the tail, and dropped it into the basket slung at his hip.
Regulus watched him for a moment, expression unreadable.
“You’re not coming,” he said again. Quieter this time. “It’s not your job.”
James stood, brushing his hands together. “Neither is this,” he said, lifting the basket slightly, “but here I am.”
“This is different.”
“How?”
Regulus didn’t answer right away. He turned away and started walking again.
James followed, not letting it drop. “You go alone every time.”
“Because I’m good at it.”
“That’s not the point.”
Regulus stopped again. His jaw tightened.
“You don’t fucking know what the point is.”
James held his gaze. “Then tell me.”
Silence.
For a moment, the forest felt too loud — the wind whistling between the trees, the creak of branches above them, the soft ticking sound of something dripping in the distance.
Finally, Regulus exhaled.
“If I take someone with me and they die, that’s on me,” he said. “Do you get that, Potter? If someone bleeds out in that castle while I’m standing there, that’s not war anymore. That’s my burden. My failure.”
James blinked, caught off guard by the honesty in his voice.
“I can be careful,” he said, softer now.
“No,” Regulus said. “You can be stupidly brave. There’s a difference.”
That quieted them both. They stood still for a long moment, breath misting in the cold, and for once, the banter dissolved into something rawer. James looked down at his basket and exhaled, slow and controlled, but the words came anyway, low and honest, before he could pull them back.
“It’s not fair,” he said finally. “You shouldn’t have to carry that alone.”
Regulus' head turned just slightly, the edge of his cheekbone catching the light.
“Nothing is fair in this world anymore, Potter,” he said. His voice was different now, not tired or cruel. Just cold. Final. A lock clicking into place. “Get used to it.”
It was the kind of answer James expected from him, but for some reason, it stuck under his skin like a thorn too deep to dig out.
They didn’t speak after that, not for a while. The snow fell softer now, fat flakes drifting between the trees. They kept walking, deeper into the woods, where the trees grew close and the sky disappeared behind twisted branches.
James let the silence stretch, let the quiet settle into his bones, but he kept watching.
He watched the way Regulus checked each and every trap with careful hands, eyes scanning the snow with the precision of someone who had done this too many times. He didn’t just glance, he read the landscape. Not just for signs of prey, but for any disturbance, any danger. He reset the traps with mechanical patience, never wasting movement, never speaking unless necessary.
There was a strange reverence to it. A ritual in the way Regulus moved. Even when the traps worked, when the animals were dead and their bodies stiff with cold, Regulus was careful. Not gentle, exactly, but precise. A whispered apology in a language James didn’t recognize. Like this wasn’t about death, but about control — about holding on to one small piece of himself in a world that kept taking.
It was at the fourth trap when he suddenly stopped.
James noticed the shift immediately. The tension in Regulus’ back and the stillness in his stance. He moved forward, curious, only to see the shape huddled in the snow.
“What is it—?”
Then he saw it. Curled awkwardly in the shallow drift where the trap had sprung, limbs folded in a tangle of long legs and shimmering hide, was something that didn’t belong in this kind of scene.
“Oh shit,” James breathed. “That’ll bring us some—”
“We’re not getting him back,” Regulus said sharply. The edge in his voice sliced through the air.
James blinked. “What?”
Regulus didn’t look away from the trap.
“James,” he said, and the use of his name stopped him short. It was the first time Regulus had ever said his name. Not Potter. Not some snide sneer. Just James. And it made something shift under his skin. “I said no.”
He looked at Regulus, then at the mooncalf tangled weakly in the trap.
Its eyes, too large, too round, stared up at them, soft and glassy with confusion. The grey hide shimmered faintly, the skin catching stray light like something made of starlight, not blood and bone. Its body trembled faintly, but not from fear or pain.
It just looked... lost. Like it didn’t understand what being trapped meant.
“Reggie,” James said carefully, “think about it. A mooncalf’s hide and blood… that’s enough to feed everyone for a month. Trade it in, and we’re good until spring.”
“I don’t care,” Regulus said, stepping between James and the animal with a finality that brooked no argument. He looked taller, somehow. Firmer. “They’re harmless. They don’t even know how to defend themselves for fucks sake.”
James sighed, a cloud of white escaping his lips into the cold. “I’m not saying we hurt it. We could just—”
“James,” Regulus said again, softer this time. “Look at him.”
The mooncalf was still. Its flank shivered with every inhale, the trap cord stretched tight against its narrow chest. But its eyes never left them. There was no anger. No desperation. Just trust. Quiet, terrible trust. It didn’t understand. It didn’t fight.
Regulus crouched beside it, hands moving slowly, murmuring something under his breath. The mooncalf’s breathing slowed almost immediately as Regulus’ fingers brushed against its skin, working to free the cord without jerking, without force.
“We’re not becoming them,” Regulus said, voice steady. “Not for food. Not for survival. That’s where it starts. You take the easy path once, and suddenly it’s not a line you’re crossing. It’s a habit. A choice you keep making until you can’t remember why it ever felt wrong.”
James watched him in silence. This wasn’t the Regulus Black he thought he knew. This wasn’t the cold boy who vanished without a trace. This wasn’t the quiet, evil Slytherin Sirius tried to picture for years. This was someone else entirely. Someone stubborn, principled in a way that mattered more now than ever, someone who still saw lines in the dirt and refused to cross them even when starving.
And James felt that shift again, low in his chest, like something unfolding without his permission.
He crouched beside him, shoulder brushing against Regulus’ arm and together, they worked the mooncalf free. Its limbs were shaky, but it didn’t bolt. It just blinked at them, once, as if offering something close to gratitude, then bounded off into the trees, vanishing like it had never been there at all.
They stayed kneeling there for a few breaths longer, both staring at the place where it had disappeared. The forest was still again, wrapped in its heavy silence.
“You know,” James said finally, glancing sideways at him, “Sirius would call us both idiots right now.”
“Yeah,” Regulus muttered, standing slowly. “Well. Sirius can choke on his own bloody cynicism.”
James let out a short, surprised laugh and stood too, brushing the snow from his knees, and reached down to retrieve the sack of rabbits and squirrels.
Whatever this was between them was starting to stretch between lines neither of them had drawn clearly enough to follow.
The village came into view slowly, first the outline of the old apothecary, then the sagging eaves of what used to be Brood and Peck. As they reached the edge of the path where it forked toward the scattered cottages, the wind picked up, whistling through the trees. James shifted the sack in his hand, the weight of it dragging awkwardly against his shoulder. He cleared his throat, casual but calculated.
“I’m gonna drop some at Lily’s,” he said, jerking his chin toward the narrow trail that cut through the trees, toward the girls’ cottage.
Regulus didn’t stop walking, but his eyes flicked sideways. “Okay.”
James hesitated a beat, then threw out the question like it didn’t matter, like it hadn’t been brewing in the back of his head for the last half hour.
“You wanna come?”
Regulus blinked once, then shook his head without hesitation. “No. I’m fine.”
“You sure?” James asked, voice lighter than he felt. “I mean, I’m charming company, the weather’s crap, and Lily has tea that doesn’t taste like burnt moss. What’s not to love?”
Regulus stopped this time, turning to face him fully, arms folded tight against his chest. His expression was unreadable, but something flickered behind his eyes — not annoyance exactly, but not quite softness either. A middle ground James was learning to recognize.
“There’s no reason for me to be there,” Regulus said.
James stepped in front of him, not blocking the path, but enough to be unavoidable. “You have every reason to be there.”
Regulus didn’t answer. Just stared at him with that level, steady gaze that made it feel like he was dissecting James from the inside out.
He didn’t like being pulled into things. Didn’t like being seen, not like that. And James knew it. But he also knew that if he let Regulus walk away now, the wall between them would grow again, and he wasn’t ready for that.
James tilted his head, trying for a grin. “Come on. Just five minutes. We drop the meat off, Lily calls me an arse, Marlene rolls her eyes, and you pretend to be bored out of your mind. Easy. Painless.”
Regulus’s jaw tightened. “Potter—”
James held up a hand. “James.”
Regulus frowned.
“My name. You said it earlier. Thought we could try making that a habit.”
Regulus exhaled through his nose, sharp and unimpressed. “Fine. James… I don’t do well in rooms full of people who barely tolerate me.”
“They don’t tolerate you,” James said. “They respect you.”
Regulus gave him a skeptical look. “That’s a generous interpretation of flinching when I walk in.”
James huffed, shifting the sack again, trying to keep the mood buoyant. “They flinch at everyone. Last week, Lily threatened to hex Remus because he sneezed too close to the cauldron. It’s nothing personal.”
Regulus arched a brow. “You’re a terrible liar.”
James grinned. “Yeah, but I’m a very persistent one.”
For a moment, Regulus didn’t move. The cold nipped at their cheeks, white mist curling between their breaths.
James tried again, this time quieter. “Look, I get it. You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to be the social butterfly of the apocalypse. But you’ve been risking your neck for all of us. Keeping people alive. You show up, you don’t ask for thanks, you disappear. Maybe… maybe you could just not disappear this time. Just for a little while.”
Regulus looked away, jaw working, lips pressed into a hard line. James watched him carefully, unsure if he’d pushed too far, until Regulus sighed.
A long, weary sound, like something deflating inside him.
“Five minutes,” Regulus muttered.
James’s grin bloomed like sunlight on snow. “Knew you couldn’t resist my charm.”
Regulus didn’t even blink. “Who lied to you, Potter?”
James laughed. “So many people. But I had a hunch you would be the cruellest about it.”
Regulus sniffed. “I pride myself on consistency.”
James adjusted the sack, falling back into step beside him as they started down the path toward the village. The snow had lightened to a soft drift, swirling in the air.
“And yet you’re still walking beside me,” he said, nudging him lightly with an elbow.
“I’m not beside you,” Regulus replied dryly. “I’m strategically within stabbing range in case you say something stupid again.”
James glanced sideways, lips twitching. “So… the usual, then.”
“Exactly.”
But he didn’t stop walking, and James didn’t stop smiling.
The moment Lily opened the door, the warm scent of herbs, woodsmoke, and something faintly sweet spilled out into the cold morning air.
Her eyes landed on James first, the usual spark of exasperated fondness lighting up her face, but then they shifted, flicking just past his shoulder. Her entire expression changed.
“Regulus!” she beamed, stepping forward, sleeves rolled up to her elbows. “Finally!”
Regulus blinked, visibly taken aback. “I—”
But Lily didn’t give him the chance. She reached forward and nudged him, not hard, but firmly enough, over the threshold.
“Inside. Come on. Don’t just stand there collecting snow like a statue. You’ll freeze those sharp little bones.”
Regulus stumbled into the warmth, stiff and disoriented.
James, still lingering on the step, huffed dramatically. “What about me?”
Lily turned over her shoulder with a grin. “You’ll live.”
“I carried the bloody rabbits!” James whined. “He just insulted me for twenty solid minutes!”
“Which means he’s healthy,” she said airily, and closed the door almost entirely in his face.
He huffed, then opened it himself and stepped in behind them. Regulus was already standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, flanked by the heat of the hearth and Lily bustling around him like he was a stray cat that needed coaxing.
“Gloves off,” she said, already tugging them free before he could protest. “And you’re covered in snow, honestly—have you even seen a scarf before?”
“I—” Regulus started, bewildered.
“Hush. Let me work.”
She brushed snow from his coat with the brisk efficiency of someone who had done this before and didn’t plan to stop.
“You’ve lost weight again,” she muttered.
Regulus stiffened. “It’s winter. Everyone loses weight in winter.”
“Not like this,” she said sharply, then caught herself, softening. “You sleep at all this week?”
Regulus gave a sardonic half-shrug. “Define sleep.”
“That’s what I thought.”
From the hallway, a familiar voice mumbled groggily, “Who’s shouting like it’s a bloody party—?”
Dorcas appeared, bundled in two sweaters, her hair sticking up at odd angles. The moment her eyes landed on Regulus, she moved faster than James thought possible.
“Hello, stranger,” she grinned, voice rough with sleep, and wrapped her arms around him before he could flinch away.
Regulus stiffened; eyes wide. “I—Dorcas—what are you—?”
“Shut up,” she mumbled, holding tight. “I missed your miserable face.”
James, watching from the wall, raised an eyebrow. “Do I have to get stabbed or fake my death to get that much affection?”
Lily, still tending to the hearth, didn’t miss a beat. “No, you just have to repress every normal emotional instinct and be terrifyingly competent in a crisis.”
But James didn’t respond. Not right away. His eyes were still fixed on Regulus, stiff and startled in Dorcas’ arms, like he didn’t know what to do with warmth when it came from someone who meant it. The way his hands hovered awkwardly at her sides, not pushing her away, but not quite returning the gesture either.
And still, he didn’t move. He let her hold him.
How long, James wondered, has it been since someone touched him and didn’t want something in return?
Dorcas finally let go, stepping back without comment, and Regulus remained still, blinking slowly like he was rebooting.
What would it be like, he wondered, to touch him like that? To reach for Regulus Black and feel him lean in instead of lean away? To feel that sharp, guarded body relax, even a little, in the curve of someone else's chest. What would someone have to do to make him let go like that?
Would he ever be soft with him?
James swallowed hard, gaze falling to Regulus’ profile. There was a fragility there, buried beneath all the snide remarks and quiet competence. And seeing someone like Dorcas crack through it with something as simple as an embrace felt unfair.
That, more than anything, stuck with James.
He didn’t even realize he was staring until Lily appeared beside him and nudged him sharply in the ribs with her elbow.
“You’re staring.”
James jerked, startled. “What? No, I’m not.”
She raised an eyebrow so high it nearly hit her hairline. “You’ve got that look again.”
“What look?”
“The one you used to get when you were about to convince me to break into Slughorn’s office and steal Amortentia.”
“That was one time.”
“And this is one very obvious crush,” she murmured under her breath.
James choked slightly. “What?”
Lily smirked, held up a mug. “Tea?”
He gulped, grateful for the deflection. “Yes. Please.”
She handed it over and leaned in just slightly, voice softer now. “Just don’t break your neck tripping over whatever this is, yeah?”
He didn’t answer. Just sipped the tea and tried not to look at Regulus again.
Failed miserably.
Because Regulus was still standing near the hearth, surrounded by warmth and noise and a kind of casual care that didn’t demand anything from him. And he still looked completely out of place. Like he didn’t know how to be in a room full of people who gave a damn about him.
James watched the way his shoulders tensed when Marlene wandered in and offered him a blanket, how he mumbled something awkward in return, eyes down, like it physically hurt to accept kindness. Like he hadn’t learned the language for it yet.
After almost one hour, Regulus eventually peeled himself away from the hearth, despite Lily’s protests. Dorcas had fallen back asleep on the sofa, arms curled around a pillow, her head in Marlene’s lap.
James watched Regulus rise and fold the blanket carefully.
“I’ll walk you back,” he said without thinking.
Regulus paused mid-motion, turning slightly with a flat look. “You do realize I’m not a child, right?”
James shrugged. “Yeah, but your mood’s heavier than a sack of bricks. I figured you could use someone to drag you the last few steps.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Touching. Really.”
Outside, snow drifted lazily from a gray sky, softening every edge of the ruined village. Their boots crunched side by side as they stepped through the slush, the silence hanging between them not exactly comfortable, but not tense either. Just full.
James shoved his hands into his pockets. “You stayed more than five minutes.”
“I know.”
“Hmm,” James hummed, “and when you think you didn’t want to come in the first place.”
Regulus glanced sideways at him. “Is this your awkward way of thanking me?”
“No,” James said, lips quirking. “This is my awkward way of pointing out that underneath all that brooding and sharp-tongued posturing, you’re alarmingly polite.”
Regulus snorted. “Don’t ruin it. I’m already regretting being civil.”
“Please. You were barely tolerable.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow. “You’re really bad at compliments, Potter.”
“Only when they’re aimed at people who keep threatening to gut me.”
“And yet you're still following me around like a lost Niffler.”
James smirked. “I prefer the term ‘emotionally concerned tracking companion,’ thanks.”
“Pathetic.”
“You say that, but you haven’t told me to piss off yet.”
They walked in silence for a few steps after that, the path between Lily’s and the square winding past broken fences and blackened lampposts. James glanced over, once, twice — caught himself doing it again.
Regulus slowed, then stopped altogether.
“What?”
James blinked. “What?”
“You keep looking at me.”
“No, I don’t.”
Regulus gave him a flat look. “You do. Like I’m going to disappear if you blink.”
James looked away quickly. “That’s rich coming from the boy who faked his own death.”
Regulus’ expression didn’t change, but something flickered in his eyes, old and deep and tired. “You think I did that for fun?”
James didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure what to say. That he didn’t know what to believe anymore? That every day he saw Regulus alive, part of him was still stunned? That it felt like someone had rewritten a chapter he’d already mourned?
“I think I still don’t know what to believe,” James said quietly.
“Would that be easier?”
“What?” James frowned, obviously confused.
“If I was still dead. Would that be easier for you?”
“Don’t,” James said sharply, voice tight. “Don’t do that.”
Regulus held his gaze for a long moment, something unreadable moving behind his eyes.
“I’m still figuring you out,” James admitted, voice rougher now. “That’s all.”
“Don’t bother,” Regulus said, turning and starting to walk again. “I don’t want to be figured out.”
James stared after him, heart thudding. Then, after a beat, he murmured, “Too late.”
They walked again, slower now. The street turned near what used to be Honeydukes, its sign burned out, half hanging by one rusted chain. James kicked at a chunk of ice near the curb, and then he stopped short.
Regulus nearly bumped into him. “What now?
James didn’t speak. His eyes were fixed on the darkened window of the old sweet shop, from where Sirius was watching them.
Not glaring. Not even moving.
Just… watching.
Like a storm waiting to happen.
James stiffened, drawing his shoulders up. His breath caught somewhere in his chest.
Regulus followed his gaze, and the moment he saw Sirius, something closed off in him completely. Gone was the faint softness he'd carried since Lily had dragged him in by the collar. Gone was the spark of dry humour that had lived in the corners of his mouth. Gone was the boy who had, for just a heartbeat, let himself belong to something warm. His expression turned empty.
Like a mask slipping back into place after hanging loose too long.
Regulus stepped back half a pace, barely more than a movement, but to James, it felt like an entire world sliding out of reach.
“You should go,” Regulus said.
“What?”
Regulus didn’t look at him. Not fully. His eyes stayed pinned on the window. On the figure inside it. “You saw him. He’s going to be at your throat the moment you step inside.”
James exhaled, trying for lightness, but it came out too sharp at the edges. “And that’s new… how?”
“Just—go home, James,” Regulus exhaled.
James turned toward him. “What? No, come on—”
“I’ll take the long way,” Regulus added, more firmly this time. “I’m not interested in repeating last month’s disaster.”
“You didn’t even do anything last month—”
“It doesn’t matter.” Regulus shifted again, eyes flicking once toward James. “It never matters.”
James stepped forward, hand half-lifting, not to grab him, but to reach. Like if he could just close the distance between them fast enough, none of it would happen.
“Reg—”
But it was too late.
Regulus had already turned, already walking.
His coat flared slightly behind him, black against the white, and within seconds, he had slipped back into the ruins like he was never there.
Notes:
Somewhere on the globe is 3 am and Potter just became James
Chapter 7: Bleeding hearts
Notes:
Someone should definitely sedate Barty before he develops even more questionable coping mechanisms. And ahhhh Evan, my sweet, summer child. I promise you he’s going to get more action in the following chapters
See you in the comments section🌸
TW: blood
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Usually, at this hour, the house would already be awake in that loud, half-feral rhythm that had become their own kind of twisted normal. The windows would be cracked open no matter how cold it was, bitter wind rushing through. Barty would be shouting, as usual, dramatic proclamations about frostbite and “his imminent toe loss,” yelling from the kitchen that he was going to kill Evan if he died of exposure. Evan, lounging on the windowsill, would roll his eyes and mutter something like “then die quietly” without moving an inch because he always insisted on “fresh air”.
This morning, the house was silent.
And that was the first thing that alarmed him.
Regulus stepped through the front gate with a frown already pulling at his mouth. His boots crunched across the frostbitten porch boards, each step echoing louder than it should. He didn’t bother knocking. He pushed the door open, and Evan was already there, pale as death, like he hadn’t moved from the spot all morning.
“Thank Merlin,” Evan whispered, voice cracked from disuse. He rushed forward, hands half-reaching, half-shaking. “Where the fuck have you been? It’s noon, Regulus. Noon. You didn’t leave a note, you didn’t—what the fuck were you thinking?”
“I checked the traps,” Regulus muttered, brushing past him and dropping his bag onto the splintered table. The satchel hit with a dull, meaty thud.
Evan was on it in seconds, already unfastening the flap, hands moving too fast, too uncoordinated. He tugged out the bloodied rabbits like he needed something tangible, something real to hold, like if he could just count the bodies, tally up the meat, this might all still be normal.
“Where’s Barty?”
Evan froze.
Regulus went still, his eyes narrowing. “Evan.”
The boy had gone completely still, save for the twitch in his jaw. His lips parted. Closed. Opened again. Nothing came out but a faint, broken breath.
“Evan.”
“You didn’t meet him?” he whispered.
Regulus’ stomach dropped like a stone into water. “Meet him where?”
Panic flickered across Evan’s face now. “He said—he said he was going to look for you. You were late. He said he’d cut through the old path. I thought you’d— I thought you’d run into each other—”
“Where, Evan?”
Evan looked like he might throw up. “The old well. He said the old well, but he didn’t say when. I didn’t think—I thought you’d meet—”
“Fuck.” The curse snapped through the room like a spell.
He crossed the kitchen in long, clipped strides, ignoring the way Evan flinched when the knife crate slammed open. He pulled free the serrated hunting blade, the one that never left the house unless they expected to carve through something unholy. His fingers moved quickly, efficiently, strapping the blade against his thigh, tugging his coat aside, sliding other daggers in the hidden sheath sewn into the lining.
“Don’t do this,” Evan said suddenly, stepping in his way. “Reggie—don’t go alone. Let me—”
“No. You need to stay here.”
Evan’s jaw clenched. “Reg, you can’t just—”
“I can. And I am.”
Regulus turned slightly, eyes locking with Evan’s now, that unnerving stillness in them. Something deeper and darker swam beneath the calm, and Evan knew that it was the kind of quiet that only exists when someone has already made peace with violence.
“You cut bandages. You boil water. You clear the table. If I come back with him bleeding, I don’t want to trip over your panic.”
Evan opened his mouth to argue again, but one look from Regulus stopped him. There was something in his eyes. Something that hadn’t been there in weeks — the edge of the boy who crawled out of a cave filled with corpses. Who’d slit a man’s throat in total silence and then scrubbed his hands raw to make it feel like he hadn’t.
Regulus turned back to the door.
“If anyone knocks and doesn’t say the passphrase,” he said, without looking back, “you bolt the fucking door. Don’t hesitate. Not even if it sounds like someone you know.”
Evan nodded silently, throat working around words he didn’t dare say.
The door slammed shut behind Regulus like a gunshot.
And then there was nothing. Just the sound of water beginning to boil. Just the bandages being ripped from old shirts. Just the fear rising like steam in Evan’s chest, that something in their already broken world was about to snap.
Outside, Regulus didn’t walk. He ran.
The cold was a blur. His breath tore from his lungs in ragged bursts, sharp enough to cut, every exhale a knife in his throat. His heart was a drumbeat against his ribs.
The old path had long since been abandoned for a reason. It had become enemy ground, a playground for Death Eaters and ferals, its twists and shadows thick with traps and worse. No one sane used it anymore.
He passed the skeletal remains of the Three Broomsticks, its windows boarded up, walls scorched black, a hollow monument to what they'd lost. Somewhere in the broken wood, something moved.
“Oi, Black,” a voice slithered out of the ruins. Drawled. Vile. Mulciber. No one else dripped venom like that. “What’s got your panties in a twist, sweetheart? Rushing to mommy dearest?”
Regulus didn’t stop. He didn’t even glance in his direction. Didn’t waste a breath on the walking corpse leering at him from the rubble.
Just kept moving, heart hammering, teeth clenched.
If Barty was hurt—
No.
If he was—
His legs moved faster. His lungs burned with each drag of air that didn’t feel like enough. Blood pounded in his ears. He tasted metal in the back of his throat.
He’s fine, he told himself.
He’s a nightmare, he’s like a fucking cockroach, he’s survived worse—
But Evan’s voice still echoed in his head, splintering. Fractured. “He said the well. I thought you’d cross paths.”
He could picture it too clearly.
Barty, alone.
Barty bleeding.
Barty cracking jokes with red leaking from his mouth.
His lungs burned. His calves screamed. Yet, he forced his body to move faster.
The forest whipped past him in streaks of grey and white, branches clawing at his coat and face as he tore down the half-buried trail. The snow here was thicker, except for a line of heavy, dragging footprints. He followed them instinctively, tracking with the precision of someone who'd spent years chasing blood.
The well came into view like a scar in the landscape. Old stone, cracked and blackened, swallowed by frost and time.
Regulus heard the voices before he saw them. He dropped low, slid down the final slope on instinct, boots crunching hard over packed snow and ice. His breath hitched, chest seizing as his eyes landed on the scene in front of him.
Barty was on the ground, propped up against the old stone wall. Blood soaked the side of his coat, his hand pressed hard to his ribs, the snow beneath him a growing patch of red. His mouth curled into a grin, even with his lip split and teeth stained crimson. A crooked, furious thing. Defiant. Teeth bared like a dying dog.
“Got cold feet, fucker?” he spat a thick clump of blood into the snow, glaring up at the figure towering over him. “You’ve been jerking yourself off to this moment for months, and you still can’t finish the job? Pathetic.”
The Death Eater above him didn’t laugh. Just raised his wand slowly, as if savouring the moment.
Regulus moved before thought could catch up.
The knife left his hand with a speed that shocked even him. It sliced through the air in a clean arc and landed with a crack. Steel into the skull. A sound like bone breaking underwater.
The man dropped like a sack of meat.
Barty’s head lolled sideways slightly, blinking up at him.
“Your aim never fucking disappoints,” he rasped, voice like gravel.
Regulus dropped to his knees in front of him, eyes sweeping him in seconds — chest, ribs, stomach, the wound, how deep, how much lost, how much left.
“Don’t talk,” he said. “Don’t even breathe unless you have to.”
Barty coughed a pained laugh. “Too bad. I had a monologue.”
“You can deliver it later. From a bed. Preferably while heavily drugged.”
“Bossy,” Barty mumbled, eyes fluttering.
Regulus ignored it. He was already pulling a healing vial from inside his coat with bloodstained fingers, the cork popping free in one motion. The smell was awful. He poured it anyway.
Barty hissed. Bucked.
“I said don’t move.”
“You’re such a—fuck,” Barty gritted through his teeth. “Sadist.”
“And you’re a fucking idiot,” Regulus hissed back, pressing down harder to stop the bleeding. “You didn’t wait. You didn’t even—fuck, Barty, what were you thinking?”
Barty didn’t answer. He just let his head fall back against the stone, a faint grin curling his mouth even as blood coated his chin.
“Thought you were dead,” he mumbled.
Regulus froze. Then his hand went back to the wound. “Not yet.”
“Yeah,” Barty said faintly. “Lucky me.”
When the bleeding slowed to a stubborn ooze, Regulus finally stood, blood drying like cracked varnish on his hands. He crossed to the corpse still slumped near the edge of the clearing, rolled it over with the heel of his boot, and frowned.
“You knew him?” Regulus asked, tilting his head.
Barty, still half-folded at the base of the wall like someone’s broken toy, spat a thick clot of blood toward the body.
“Yeah. That fucker dragged me and Evan out here when the camps were burning. Thought he was doing the Dark Lord a favour. Bit of a patriot.”
He shifted, grimacing. “Pretty sure I cut off one of his balls back then. Screamed like a pig. Very undignified. Think we can check it? Need to boost my ego.”
“Charming, and no” Regulus muttered, crouching beside the corpse. He grabbed the man’s leg and gave it a tug. “Come on. Help me throw him in.”
Barty blinked, eyebrows raised. “You’re seriously going to dump him in the well?”
Regulus didn’t look up. “What, you want to build him a fucking memorial?”
Barty gave a theatrical sigh. “I just think maybe we could’ve at least lit a candle. Said a few words. ‘Here lies one nutless bastard, may he rot in moldy water.’”
“In the well, Barty.”
With exaggerated effort and a very loud groan, Barty dragged himself upright and hobbled toward him, muttering the whole way. “Can’t believe I almost died, and now I’m doing corpse disposal. You really know how to spoil a man.”
“Help me, or I leave you here with him.”
“Oh, don’t threaten me with a threesome.”
Regulus gave him a sharp look, and Barty grinned through his split lip. Together, swearing and stumbling, they heaved the body over the stones. One arm was bent the wrong way. A boot left a streak of something dark where it caught on the stone.
With a final grunt, they dumped the corpse into the well.
There was no splash. Just a dull, sickening thunk, followed by silence.
Barty let out a wheezy, low grunt and leaned back against the stone, eyes fluttering. “You know, there are easier ways to get your morning exercises.”
Regulus didn’t answer. He turned, took two long strides, and glared down at him.
“You should learn to keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Barty blinked at him, then smirked. “Evan is not here, love. And if you keep glaring like this at me, I will not be held accountable for—
“Don’t finish that,” Regulus snapped. He grabbed Barty’s good arm and slung it over his shoulder, hooking his own arm around his waist. “The old path, Barty? Really? What were you hoping for? A scenic tour of every Death Eater’s favourite murder spot?”
Barty hissed through clenched teeth as they started to walk, the pressure jostling his ribs. “You always think of the worst-case scenario,” he grumbled. “I was just being prepared.”
“You were being reckless.”
“You taught me that,” Barty shot back, trying to smirk, though it faltered under the weight of pain. “Worst-case scenario first. Plan second. Remember?”
Regulus didn’t respond immediately. His jaw clenched and his grip tightened.
“That was supposed to mean you survive it,” he said quietly.
They moved slowly, their boots crunching over the old snow, their breath ragged and visible.
“You scared Evan,” Regulus added after a while. “He thought—”
“I know what he thought,” Barty muttered. “He’s always been a little too good at assuming the worst.”
Regulus didn’t argue.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Barty muttered, voice still hoarse but sharp with irritation. He didn’t bother hiding the edge in it as he glanced sideways at Regulus’ profile.
“I checked the traps.”
“All morning?” Barty raised a brow. “I woke up at seven and you were already gone.”
“You also need to arm the traps back,” Regulus replied coolly, eyes on the snow-covered path ahead. “That takes time.”
“Mmm, right,” Barty drawled, feigning thoughtfulness. “So I’m supposed to believe you were just wandering around the woods, completely unreachable, because the traps needed quality time?”
Regulus exhaled sharply through his nose. “They don’t arm themselves.”
“Aha.” Barty rolled his eyes with dramatic flair. “And I suppose Potter was kind enough to help you?”
Regulus stopped walking.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Barty grinned, all teeth, despite the dried blood still flaking around his mouth. “Please. Don’t insult my intelligence, Reggie. He’s been panting after you for months.”
“Drop it,” Regulus snapped, turning back toward the path with quickened steps. “There’s nothing between me and Potter.”
“Hah!” Barty let out a loud, rasping laugh that turned into a cough halfway through. “Okay, Black, have it your way. Denial looks good on you — very dignified.”
Regulus didn’t answer. Just kept walking.
But Barty wasn’t finished.
“Honestly,” he continued, limping slightly as he caught up, “it’s impressive, really. The amount of eye contact you two manage without combusting. The tension? Practically a third presence in the room.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Does he know?” Barty pressed, smirk widening. “That you keep watching him when you think no one’s looking? That every time someone mentions his name, you pretend not to care a little too hard?”
Regulus stopped again, sharply enough to jostle them both.
“Do you want to get stabbed?”
Barty grinned. “Just saying. I nearly bled out today, let me have one joy.”
They started walking again, Regulus quickening his pace like he could outrun the conversation. Barty stumbled but didn’t let go.
“Just saying,” Barty said, more gently now. “Don’t wait too long. He’s already stupid enough to fancy you. Might as well let the man suffer properly.”
Regulus didn’t speak for a long time. The path stretched ahead of them like a gravelled wound. Crows shifted in the branches overhead.
Finally, Regulus murmured, “It’s not about waiting.”
Barty glanced at him.
“It’s about surviving long enough to make it matter.”
Barty let that hang in the air. Let it sit between them like an unsaid promise.
Then, with a soft groan and a shit-eating grin:
“Well, now I definitely need Evan to kiss me. That was depressing as hell.”
Regulus said nothing, but he didn’t tell him to shut up either and Barty took that as progress.
The door creaked open, and the moment Regulus stepped through with Barty slung across his shoulder, Evan was already storming across the room.
“Oh my God—Barty!” he rushed forward, eyes wide, taking in the blood-stained coat, the way Barty was leaning heavier than usual, the gash along his ribs bleeding again through the shirt. “What the fuck happened?!”
“Good to see you too, sweetheart” Barty muttered, slumping dramatically into the nearest chair. “Sorry, I didn’t send an owl.”
“Sit. Down.” Evan shoved a chair under him with more force than necessary, nearly toppling both of them over.
Regulus helped ease Barty into it, though he made sure to do it in the most unceremonious way possible.
“Don’t faint. I’m not catching you.”
“Romantic,” Barty wheezed, dramatically flopping backward. “I always dreamed of collapsing into your arms, Reg.”
Evan ignored them both. He spun toward the hearth, snatching the kettle off the stove and rummaging through their half-empty crate of healing supplies. His movements were clipped, but controlled. Regulus didn’t miss the slight tremble in his hands as he grabbed a bundle of cloth and unscrewed a bottle of Essence of Dittany.
“You’re bleeding like a goddamn idiot,” Evan snapped, already crouching beside the chair.
“I am an idiot,” Barty said proudly. “But I bled for a noble cause.”
“You got yourself nearly killed because you were being a reckless dick,” Regulus interjected, crossing his arms and leaning casually against the wall. “Stop whining, the blade didn’t even puncture anything vital.”
“Fuck off, Reggie,” Barty growled over his shoulder. “Come back when your bedside manner improves.”
Evan swatted his arm, not gently.
Barty winced, hissing. “Hey! What was that for?!”
“For scaring the shit out of me!” Evan barked. His hands trembled slightly as he poured hot water into a bowl, but his voice was solid now, all command and fury and care. “You said you were just checking the old well. You didn’t say you were going to wander into a fucking ambush!”
“I didn’t plan to get ambushed!” Barty protested, wincing as Evan yanked his coat off. “Tell that to the Death Eater I buried at the bottom of the well.”
“You what?” Evan’s head snapped toward Regulus like a whip.
“He’s not coming back,” Regulus said simply, unfazed. “Headfirst. Clean throw.”
Evan’s face went pale. “For fuck’s sake.”
Barty chuckled weakly, his grin crooked. “You should’ve seen it. Looked like a sack of meat tumbling into the void.”
“Stop smiling,” Evan hissed, dabbing the wound with a cloth. “You’re lucky it didn’t hit your lung.”
“Yeah, well,” Barty murmured, wincing as the cloth hit raw flesh, “we all need hobbies.”
“Bleeding out isn’t a hobby, Barty!”
Regulus gave a quiet scoff. “Could’ve fooled me. At this point, you do it better than anyone I’ve ever met.”
Barty raised his middle finger without hesitation, then immediately winced when Evan pressed harder on his side.
“Fuck—gentle, Evan, please.”
Evan shot him a glare. “You want gentle? Get a new boyfriend. Me, for example, I would like one who doesn’t go looking for ways to get shanked every goddamn week.”
Barty’s smile turned stupid and fond, even as his eyelids drooped. “Aw. You do love me.”
Evan rolled his eyes but didn’t answer. He just worked silently, patching him up with the careful precision of someone who had done this too many times for people who wouldn’t stop running toward knives.
“Try not to die for one week,” Evan muttered under his breath, voice low but not unkind. “Just one. That’s all I ask.”
“I’ll put it on my to-do list,” Barty mumbled, head tilting back lazily. “Right between ‘push Regulus' buttons’ and ‘fuck Evan senseless.’”
Across the room, Regulus said nothing for a long while. Just watched. Arms crossed. Eyes narrowed.
But when Evan wasn’t looking, and Barty wasn’t posturing, he allowed himself one small breath of relief.
They had made it back.
Evan glanced up for a moment, catching Regulus’ eye. No words passed between them, but something did. A silent exchange. Worry. Frustration. Thanks. A kind of fierce, exhausted loyalty that none of them ever knew how to say properly.
Regulus nodded once. Evan looked away.
Barty, eyes half-closed now, smirked to himself like he’d seen the whole thing.
“Family bonding moment?” he drawled weakly. “Should I cry?”
“Shut up,” Regulus and Evan said in perfect, unplanned unison.
Barty laughed. Even through the pain.
The fire had died down to glowing embers, casting long shadows across the warped wooden floor. Outside, the wind howled low, threading through the cracks in the walls like a warning. Inside, the house was quiet again.
Barty had finally passed out on the bed, one arm flung above his head like a drunk aristocrat in a bad painting. Evan had tossed a blanket over him in exasperation somewhere between bandaging his ribs and threatening to slap him if he made another joke. One leg dangled off the side of the mattress, the bandages at his side already showing faint signs of seeping red again, but his breathing was steady. Deep. Untroubled. Uncharacteristically peaceful.
Evan sat at the table, hunched forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees. His sleeves were rolled to the elbow, forearms smeared faintly with dried blood. A tin mug of tea sat untouched on the table in front of him, steam long gone, warmth lost. His eyes weren’t on the cup.
He watched Regulus, who was sitting across the room in the corner, on a low stool by the shuttered window. He was sharpening a dagger, the motions precise, methodical. Back and forth. The whetstone rasped quietly with each stroke. The blade caught the dim firelight in flashes.
Eventually, Evan spoke.
“So,” he said softly, “the raid.”
Regulus didn’t lift his gaze. Just turned the blade and dragged the whetstone again, slower this time. “What about it?”
“You’re still going.”
“Of course, I’m still going.”
Evan leaned back slightly, studying him. “You didn't sleep. Your shoulder’s still stiff. You haven’t even stitched that graze on your neck properly.”
Regulus looked up then, eyes sharp and unreadable. The corner of his mouth twitched, but it wasn’t amusement. “You sound like him.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” Evan said, raising an eyebrow. “He’s an idiot. But he’s not wrong.”
Regulus didn’t respond immediately. He finished the stroke, then turned the blade once more and dragged it again, slower now. A kind of tension gathered behind his shoulders. After a moment, he slid the blade into its sheath with a quiet snick and sat back against the wall.
“Does James know?” Evan asked, not unkindly.
Regulus glanced toward the bed, to Barty’s still form, then back. His expression didn’t shift.
“No. And it should stay that way. Evans told him about the raids in general—he doesn’t need more details than that.”
“But—”
“No, Evan.” Regulus’ voice was sharp now, not raised, but edged. It wasn’t anger, not exactly. “Why are you and Barty so determined to fix something that doesn’t need fixing? There’s nothing happening with Potter.”
Evan studied him. “Because there is something. Even if you won’t admit it yet.”
“There’s not,” Regulus snapped. “He’s obsessed with me because of Sirius. It’s not that fucking complicated. Sirius was his everything, and I’m the broken leftover. He wants to fix their perfect little friendship and thinks that dragging me into it is the solution.”
He stood, abruptly, like the room had gotten too small.
Evan didn’t flinch. “That’s what you really think?”
Regulus paced once across the room, then stopped and faced the window. “He feels guilty. That’s all it is.”
Evan shook his head slowly, lips pressing into a thin line.
“You hear yourself, Reg? You’re acting like he’s some...well-meaning Gryffindor project. You think he’s out there breaking curfew, tracking your traps, carrying fresh meat through a warzone because he wants to relive some fantasy of Sirius? He knows you’re not your brother.”
Regulus didn’t answer.
Evan stood too, but slower. Quieter. He crossed the room and poured water from the kettle into the tin mug again. The silence stretched.
“You do this every time,” Evan said finally. “Push people away before they get the chance. Before you get the chance to need them. It’s your thing. Self-isolation disguised as nobility.”
Regulus snorted. “Don’t go poetic on me.”
“You want honesty?” Evan offered him the mug of tea. “Fine. You’ve been emotionally half-dead since you were fifteen, Regulus. You cling to your control like it’s the last thing that makes you real. You act like you don’t care if people die around you, but you care. You care more than half the people I’ve met. And when that care leaks through, it scares the shit out of you.”
Regulus stared at him. Then, after a beat, he took the mug but didn’t drink.
“I didn’t ask for a lecture.”
“You didn’t have to,” Evan said, folding his arms, voice quieter now. “I’ve known you since you were a twitchy little shit who flinched every time someone raised their voice. I’ve patched you up more times than I can count. And I’ll keep doing it, because you’re like a brother to me, Reg. Whether you like it or not.”
Regulus blinked at him, caught off guard.
It wasn’t often Evan said things like that. Not out loud. But when he did, they landed like thunder.
Regulus looked down at the mug, then back at Evan. “That’s a bad idea. I make a terrible little brother.”
“Yeah,” Evan said dryly, “but you’re my terrible little brother. Which means I get to boss you around, worry about you, and yell at you when you run headfirst into fire.”
There was a beat of stillness. And then, slowly, almost imperceptibly, Regulus let himself exhale. Not in defeat. In something like reluctant gratitude.
He turned toward the door again and grabbed his coat. The motion was habitual, calculated, but his hand lingered a moment longer on the fabric.
“The sun’s coming up,” he murmured. “If I’m not back by dawn... You know what to do.”
“Don’t joke.”
“I’m not.”
Evan’s voice came again, hoarse. Quiet. “He’d come for you. Even if you didn’t ask.”
Regulus didn’t turn. He didn’t breathe for a second too long. His fingers flexed around the coat sleeve, knuckles pale.
“Then he’s more foolish than I thought.”
Evan didn’t argue. He just stepped closer, placing a steady hand on Regulus’ shoulder. It stayed there for a second.
“Make sure you return in one piece,” Evan said, voice low.
Regulus still didn’t turn. But he nodded. Just once.
Then he opened the door and stepped into the wind.
Notes:
Well, looks like everyone’s Team James—except, of course, Regulus 🤡
Chapter 8: Seeping through the cracks
Notes:
Just so you know, for this chapter I had the Hogwarts map glued to my retina😭 Hogwarts Legacy, mind you, because unfortunately the universe made me a visual person
And the level of research? Good God, I think there were at least 30 different tabs open. I was one tab away from pinning everything on the wall and connecting them with red strings
Some phrases might sound a little strange, so I feel morally obligated to disclose that English is not my first language (I think that by saying this, I triggered the ao3 curse or smth). If anything feels off, your honor, word order is the prime suspectThank you for reading, and take care of yourselves ❤
TW: Abuse, mentions of suicidal ideation
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Beyond the last stone house, where even the lanterns no longer reached and the earth turned wild again, the land stretched out. The hills rolled under a bruised, leaden sky, the clouds swollen with the threat of snow that hadn’t yet fallen. The wind cut low and sharp across the moor, tugging at the hem of Regulus’ coat, biting through the seams like it meant to peel him open.
Far in the distance, past the last treeline and the ink-black edge of the Forbidden Forest, the castle rose like a half-forgotten ruin. Its towers jutted up against the storm-choked horizon like shattered teeth, jagged and uneven, silhouetted in smudged greys and blacks. Once, it had been home. Now it looked like a carcass left behind by time, looming and hollow.
Regulus shoved his hands deeper into his coat pockets and began the slow ascent up the frozen slope. His boots crunched across brittle ground glazed with frost. The path was uneven, littered with roots and hidden patches of ice. His breath came out in thin clouds, but he barely noticed it anymore. Cold had become something his body knew.
There was a tunnel. One of the old ones. Not officially mapped. Not trusted. A relic from some war older than the one he was fighting now, half-forgotten even by those who once fought to keep its secret. Even the Death Eaters hadn’t bothered to clear it completely. They’d assumed it collapsed, or led nowhere important. That had been their mistake.
It started in the overgrown glen near what had once been the north tower, twisted deep beneath the stone foundations of the Quidditch pitch, and slithered beneath the castle, full of things better left buried. Filthy. Dangerous. Half-caved in places. But it still held.
He had used it more times than he liked to count.
When their potions had run dry, when Evan’s hands shook too badly to stir a cauldron without spilling, or when Barty stumbled in with wounds too deep, too ugly, too wrong for even Evan’s careful hands. When the only answer had been inside those ancient stone walls, in stolen vials and quiet thefts, in memories he had no business dredging up.
He reached the crumbling remnants of the pitch’s boundary wall, now almost entirely overtaken by weeds and frost. Dropping to one knee, Regulus swept his glove over the frozen stone, brushing away a fine layer of rime that sparkled briefly in the twilight. Beneath, hidden just under a mat of old roots, was the iron grate.
His fingers, half-numb from the cold, found the edges easily—muscle memory stronger than cold. He traced along the rusted frame until he found the latch, tucked just beneath a warped rung. A little flick. A click, low and tired. Then a groan—deep, wet, ancient.
The hatch opened just enough for him to slide through.
He ducked his head and slipped inside, boots landing on damp stone with a squelch. The darkness swallowed him whole, immediate and intimate.
The tunnel was narrower than he remembered. It yawned before him in a sickly curve, walls pressed close on either side, the ceiling low enough that he had to hunch slightly to pass. The stones were slick with moisture and something older—an oily residue of ancient spells and time-soured magic. Moss crept along the edges in veins of green-black. His breath fogged in front of him, clinging to the stone before dissipating like memory.
It stank of wet earth and mildew and things left too long in the dark. The deeper he went, the colder it became.
Not from the weather, but from something else. A chill that came from the castle itself, from the way the air changed when one neared the core of something ancient. Something watching.
Despite the rot and ruin, Hogwarts was still awake. Bound and broken, but not dead. Its magic pulsed low, distant but undeniable. A sleeping beast, curling in its own shadow.
At the fork, the tunnel split: one path curling off toward the long-abandoned kitchens, the other sloping downward into the deeper reaches of the undercroft. That second route led toward the lower potions storage rooms and the apothecary vaults, hidden chambers where rare ingredients had once been locked away beneath spellwork so old it whispered if you listened closely enough. Regulus paused only a moment, weighing the two paths. Then, without hesitation, he veered left towards the kitchens.
The air began to shift the deeper Regulus went. It thickened around him, slow and heavy, like even the air itself remembered what this place used to be. There was no light except for the faint, steady shimmer of his wand. No flickering candelabras overhead. No enchanted torches lining the walls. No echoes of teachers’ heels tapping on stone or the gentle groan of portraits stirring awake with drowsy complaints.
Only darkness and silence.
He moved close to the walls, gliding one hand along the cold stone, needing the contact. Needing to remind himself that he was still here. Still breathing.
The path to the kitchens had not changed. Somehow, impossibly, it remained etched into him—muscle memory from another life. He had walked this route barefoot in the dead of night, heart racing from curfew-breaking thrills. He had run it with Barty once, when they were too young to care about House lines or family names, laughing breathlessly as they dodged the castle staff. He had snuck down it alone, hungrier than he’d ever admit, stealing biscuits and pumpkin juice from tired-eyed house-elves who tutted but never stopped him because they knew that his family would never allow him have them.
For a moment, just a breath, he braced himself for something ridiculous. A house-elf popping into existence with shrill horror at his state, pressing warm scones into his arms, fussing over the dirt on his cloak, asking what Master Regulus was doing out of bed at this hour. His lips twitched despite himself.
But nothing stirred.
The room was still.
Gone were the smells of fresh hearth-bread and roasted squash. Gone were the cauldrons bubbling over with cider, the scent of cinnamon and clove hanging in the air like warmth itself. The long tables were abandoned, stained with time. The fireplace sat cold and unlit, soot-blackened and full of cobwebs.
But despite the dust and the silence, the shelves were still stocked. Preserves sat in neat rows, their labels faded but legible. Jars of strawberry, gooseberry, and thick-cut orange marmalade. Tins of soup, black treacle, beans, and fruit lined the lower shelves. Crates slumped in corners, stuffed with flour and lentils, rice and sugar, all tightly bound in parchment bags. And on the far wall, in the shadows beyond his light, strips of cured meat hung from rusted hooks—hardened, dark, but still edible.
It was eerie.
Like someone had prepared for the end and simply... vanished.
Not a feast, but enough to live. Enough to matter.
Regulus stepped further in, his movements measured and efficient. He didn’t let the memories grab hold, didn’t let his eyes linger too long on the long-forgotten teacups still stacked in rows or the faded list of House meal rotations scrawled in curling script near the hearth.
This wasn’t about nostalgia. That kind of softness had no place here.
This was about survival.
He pulled the pouch from his belt, an old thing, enchanted long ago with an undetectable expansion charm when Evan had insisted they needed backups for the backups, and filled it quickly.
His hands moved automatically, selecting what he knew they could stretch: dry bread, three tins of peaches, a jar of honey (he hesitated, then added a second), a block of hard cheese wrapped in waxed paper. Dried lentils, smoked meat, flour, tea leaves. A cracked jar of pickled onions. Two tins of sardines. Anything that would last longer than they dared to hope.
He worked without sound, without pause, his hands flickering across polished jars and long-forgotten tools. Each item he packed felt heavier than it should have, not in weight, but in meaning. As if this place had been waiting for someone—for him—to come back.
When the pouch was full, he cinched it shut, the leather drawstrings creaking softly under the strain. He slung it back over his shoulder, and only then did he let himself stop. Just for a second. Just long enough to look around the room again, letting the quiet press in. He wondered where it had all gone. Where the house-elves had fled. If they were even alive. If anyone besides him remembered the way this place had once glowed in the early morning, lit by the fire and the laughter of a hundred children waiting for toast.
His fingers curled tighter around the strap of the pouch. His jaw clenched.
Yet again, he moved on.
There was another path, narrow, steep, mostly forgotten, hidden behind a rotting tapestry that once depicted a banshee mid-scream. Most students had avoided it out of superstition. Whispers of hexed stone and vanishing footsteps were enough to deter even the bravest Gryffindors.
But not them.
Regulus had used it a dozen times, maybe more. And not alone.
He remembered slipping through here with Evan and Barty back in fifth year, all of them laughing too loud, whispering half-formed spells and clutching purloined maps. Slughorn never caught them, though he often looked like he suspected.
Now, the memory sat heavy in his ribs.
No laughter followed him now. No footsteps echoed behind. No sarcastic commentary. Just silence. Just Regulus, moving alone down ancient, uneven steps into colder, deeper dark.
At the bottom, the door to the potions stores still stood. They had sealed it with careless magic. Wards designed to keep students out, not him.
Years ago, they snuck in to steal essence of hellebore for a potion Barty was convinced would “unlock their utmost potential.” It hadn’t. But it had made Evan vomit purple for three hours. They’d all agreed it was a spectacular success.
He whispered a wandless Alohomora, his voice low and precise, and felt the tumblers click into release. The door creaked open.
Inside, the room was untouched.
Rows of ancient wooden shelves stood in rigid formation, stoic and severe. Bottles lined them like soldiers awaiting orders—dust-covered, some fogged with age, some still clear and sharp. Vials of pale fluid. Jars of dried herbs curled like sleeping insects. Shimmering powders. Suspended roots that looked almost like veins.
Regulus stepped forward like a thief entering a shrine, reverent in spite of himself. His fingers skimmed labels, his eyes moving fast.
—powdered bicorn horn
—asphodel root
—crushed bezoar
— essence of mandrake
— dried belladonna, still fragrant enough to bite at the nose.
He packed quickly, but carefully.
Only what was rare. What was needed. A few vials of salamander blood, strands of monkshood sealed in wax paper, the last scrapings of silverleaf tucked behind a broken bottle. He avoided the obvious poisons, mostly, but pocketed anything unlabelled or marked with wards.
Desperation didn’t leave room for caution. And in this world, the most dangerous thing was not having options.
He closed the bag, cinched the straps, and turned back to the door.
There was still one room left. One more relic buried beneath time and ruin that he had come to exhume — the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.
It stood at the end of a long-forgotten corridor, the stone floor cracked and buckled beneath the weight of disuse and time. The door, once grand with polished handles and carved trim, now sagged pitifully on rusted hinges, hanging crooked like a soldier who could no longer hold his own weight. The wood was scorched, the corners splintered.
Regulus paused at the threshold, one hand hovering near the frame. The air inside was thick with dust, and something colder still — ghosts, though none visible. This was not a space filled with life anymore, only fragments of it.
Years ago, he had sat in these very seats.
Professor Merrythought had stood at the front then, calm and steady, wand in hand, her smile soft but sure as he coaxed a boggart from an old wardrobe and taught them, gently, how to laugh at fear.
He had faced it, even if it had turned into Sirius, bloodied and broken, eyes empty.
He’d told everyone afterward it had been a Dementor.
She had ruled with grace, and even the worst-behaved Slytherins had remembered her birthday.
This room had once been a crucible of strength. It had witnessed first spells, first duels, whispered plans scribbled on parchment and passed beneath desks.
This was the room where he'd first sparred with Barty. Where Evan had turned a Doxy into a smoke bomb mid-duel and cackled like a lunatic. Where Regulus had burned a hole in his sleeve with a Protego gone wrong, and Barty had patched it with a spell that made it smell like burnt cinnamon for weeks.
Regulus crossed to the back shelves, behind what had once been used for demonstrations. Dust coated everything. The warding chalk had long since faded, but the remnants remained, drawn circles, sigils, clawed marks where someone had once tested a hex too strong. Behind them, he found the stash he’d hoped would still be there. Vials filled with tar-thick liquid, powders darker than pitch, so opaque they seemed to drink in the light from his wand. Dried roots wrapped in old parchment, trembling faintly beneath their bindings as if the magic in them still remembered pain.
He took only what he could carry and stowed it away with quick, sure hands. Every minute he stayed was another risk.
And yet, even with the pouch at his side growing heavier, it wasn’t just the physical burden that slowed his steps.
It was this, this room, this past, that hung around his shoulders like a second cloak. The weight of what had once been. The memories that bled into the walls. The breath of ghosts not ready to be forgotten.
He turned without looking back.
But instead of retracing his path toward the tunnel, Regulus veered east, slipping past a half-collapsed hallway and out into what had once been the castle’s gardens. The air here was sharper, the wind thinner, as if even nature had learned to hold its breath around Hogwarts.
The greenhouses loomed ahead, twisted and broken silhouettes against the grey morning light. Their glass panels were cracked, webbed over with frost and years of dust. Inside, the plants that once bloomed strange and beautiful had either withered to brittle corpses or grown monstrous — fed on too much leftover magic, too much ruin.
He ducked low beneath a sagging arch of rusted pipe, careful not to catch his coat on the bramble that had forced its way out of a shattered pot. Greenhouse Three stood near the edge of the grounds, just past the broken sundial and the skeletal remains of what had once been a massive rose arch. It was hidden behind a low stone wall that had been split by a tree root now long dead, its trunk hollowed like a gaping mouth. Clinging vines, leafless and bleached by wind and time, curled over the entryway like the grasp of forgotten things.
This was where they used to sneak off during free periods. Where Regulus once watched Evan pretend to flirt with a Hufflepuff sixth-year just to gain access to restricted plant specimens. Where Barty had dared him to eat a sliver of poisoned lemongrass—“just a nibble, Reggie, come on, what’s life without a little thrill?”—and then spent the rest of the afternoon hallucinating flying badgers.
He stepped through the cracked door of Greenhouse Three. It groaned as it gave way, hinges rusted, glass crunching underfoot. The temperature dropped noticeably inside, the magic still clinging faintly to the air in uneven pockets, cold where it should be warm, still where it should stir.
Near the back wall, mostly hidden beneath a tangle of desiccated vines, lay what he’d come for.
A slab of stone, round and wide, framed by the remnants of an old containment ring. Frost glittered along its edge, half-obscuring the iron ring set flush into the centre. Roots had curled around it over time, weaving themselves into a knot of resistance.
But Regulus had found it once before, years ago, when he was chasing a rogue puffapod for Professor Sprout and had tripped over the stone trying to impress her with his “diligence.”
Now, he knelt and reached for the iron.
The slab groaned as he pulled, moss tearing free in wet strips, roots snapping like bones under strain. Cold, damp air surged up from below—rich with the scent of earth, old things, and something else. Something alive. Not breathing, but waiting.
A good sign.
He lowered himself carefully into the dark, landing on soft ground with a muted thud. His wand flared to life with a whispered Lumos, casting pale light over the dirt-packed walls and long rows of cracked planters, abandoned tools, and broken benches.
But in the far corner, nearly hidden, was what he had come for.
A patch of rare plants, still clinging to life in the shelter of old preservation charms. A mandrake, small and half-dead, its leaves twitching with faint awareness. Bundles of shrivelled valerian root, pale and fragrant. A squat bush with curling silver-blue leaves — Feverthorn, near-extinct now, known for its use in warding illness and strengthening restorative draughts.
And just beyond, a small wooden crate of seed jars, covered in dust but intact.
Regulus knelt, brushing earth away from the labels with the back of his hand:
— Bloodroot
— Mimbulus Mimbletonia
— Sneezewort
— Starpetal
The sort of plants Lily would know how to coax back into usefulness.
He whispered a preservation charm over the jars as he slipped them into his pouch. Then hesitated over one last jar, unmarked, filled with tiny black seeds that shimmered oddly, like they were drinking the very light from the wand itself.
He stared at them for a beat longer than necessary, then took them.
Because sometimes, the risk was the only thing you had left.
He rose slowly, dusted the soil from his knees, and climbed back up into the open air. The wind had picked up slightly, sharper now, as if sensing his return.
The castle loomed behind him, silhouetted against the ash-grey sky, massive and unfeeling. A corpse. A mausoleum.
Regulus didn’t look back.
He ducked under the broken stone fence, boots crunching through the brittle frost, cutting sharply back toward the tree line where the forest waited like an open mouth. Only when he slipped beneath the bare, reaching branches and the shadows wrapped around him and the muffled hush of the woods swallowed the wind, did he finally allow himself to breathe properly.
The cold no longer felt sharp against his skin, just necessary. Grounding.
He followed the worn footpaths he knew by instinct, winding back into the village through narrow, half-collapsed alleys that twisted like ribs between the skeletal remains of what Hogsmeade had once been. The stone walls were slick with old moss and soot, their crumbling edges brushing his shoulder as he kept close — as if proximity alone might shield him from the ache pressed deep into his spine and the weight of what he carried.
The afternoon light had dulled into something sluggish and grey, casting long, indistinct shadows across the uneven cobblestones. When he reached Lily’s door, he no longer hesitated. He lifted his hand and knocked — sharp, deliberate, two precise raps against the wood.
Then he waited.
The door creaked open a few heartbeats later, and Marlene was standing in the threshold with the fire behind her, painting her silhouette in gold and flicker. She was backlit, all warmth and cautious movement, and for a moment she didn’t speak. Just looked at him. Her eyes flicked over his face, his clothes, the set of his jaw, and something in her expression softened, something in her shoulders eased, just slightly.
She didn’t ask where he’d been. She just stepped back and opened the door wider, allowing the warmth and the light to spill out like welcome.
The warmth hit him like a soft blow, not uncomfortable, but disorienting in its contrast to the cold he'd just walked through.
Mary was curled up near the hearth on a threadbare rug, her knees drawn up, a chipped mug cradled between her hands. She looked up as he entered, blinking as though surfacing from sleep. Her eyes tracked him slowly, curiously, and though she said nothing, her gaze lingered, not with suspicion, but something heavier. Something like hope, held too long without being fed.
At the kitchen table, Lily sat hunched over a thick, battered Herbology tome, its spine cracked and its margins crowded with three distinct handwritings — hers, Severus’s, and another he didn’t recognize. She had a quill tucked behind one ear and a mug cooling by her elbow. Her brow was furrowed, fingers frozen mid-turn on the page.
At the table, Lily sat with a battered Herbology tome splayed open before her, its pages yellowed and annotated in three different handwritings. Her brow was furrowed, her fingers frozen mid-turn.
Regulus let the satchel slip from his shoulder. It hit the table with a dull, final thud, and three heads turned toward it in near-perfect unison. The room shifted with it.
He began unpacking without a word.
One item at a time.
Glass jars, each filled with seeds that shimmered faintly under the low light. Bundles of dried roots tied with twine and wrapped in layers of parchment. A squat container of preserved salamander blood, its surface catching the firelight like thick garnet. A few hunks of hard cheese. Two loaves of coarse bread wrapped in cloth.
The table transformed before their eyes, from a battlefield of fatigue and paper into something that looked, almost absurdly, like hope.
Marlene stepped forward first.
Her breath hitched softly, and she reached for one of the vials, the one with pale starpetal seeds, with the same reverence one might offer a relic or a curse in stasis.
“Where in Merlin’s name did you find these?” she whispered. Her fingers trembled slightly as she held the jar to the light, as if expecting it to vanish. “This species—this seed—it’s gone. Dead. Extinct in half the southern regions.”
Regulus arched a brow, leaning against the table’s edge with practiced ease, one arm slung across the satchel as though it were a casual prop, not a lifeline. The corner of his mouth curled into something faintly smug.
“One cannot simply reveal the secrets of their trade, McKinnon,” he said, tone bone-dry. “Wizard’s code.”
Marlene snorted, a brief exhale of breath more laughter than amusement, and carefully slid the vial into the pouch at her hip like it was a sacred object passed down through generations.
Mary edged closer as well, eyes fixed not on the magic, but the bread. She didn’t say anything, but the way she licked her lips and gripped her mug a little tighter spoke volumes. Hunger lived in this house like a fifth tenant. It didn’t always gnaw, but it never left.
Dorcas was nowhere in sight. Most probably, she was still asleep.
But Lily… Lily didn’t move.
She sat frozen, one hand still resting on the open book, her gaze locked on Regulus with a focus so intense it bordered on confrontation. Her expression didn’t shift but the lines around her eyes told their own story. Of late nights. Of worry. Of keeping everything running when the world refused to cooperate.
Her silence cut deeper than anything else.
“You’re risking too much again,” she said at last. Her voice was low, even, with no anger behind it — only exhaustion. A deep, marrow-deep fatigue that came from spending too many nights wondering if the people you cared about would make it back in one piece.
Regulus didn’t respond immediately. He looked down, brushing his thumb over the rim of an empty jar, then shrugged with studied nonchalance.
“It was quiet,” he said, attempting levity and failing. “Practically boring.”
No one laughed. Not even Mary.
Because everyone in the room had lived long enough to know what that meant. Quiet didn’t mean safe. Quiet meant something had already happened — or was about to.
“Regulus,” she said again, more firmly this time. “You’re one person. This—” she gestured to the pile on the table, to the life-saving supplies they all knew were worth more than gold now, “—this will get you killed.”
“I am careful,” he snapped, more defensively than he’d meant. “I know the castle better than anyone still alive.”
“That’s not the point,” Lily said, her voice sharpening, pulling tight like a string that had been stretched too far. She rose from her chair slowly, steadying herself on the edge of the table, the open book forgotten already. Her eyes were too bright in the dim room, catching the firelight just enough to shimmer. “We don’t need you to be clever. We need you to be alive.”
Her hands clenched at her sides, and for a moment, she looked like she might say something cruel just to make him understand. But then it softened.
“Sirius just got you back,” she continued, her words thick now, not angry, but something quieter. Something like fear. “We can’t—” She stopped herself, breath catching, then let the rest fall softer. “We can’t lose you again, Regulus.”
He stood still across from her, half-lit by the fire, shadows cutting across his face in clean, harsh lines. The weight of the satchel had been replaced by something heavier in his chest, and he could feel it settling behind his ribs like stone.
“Sirius doesn’t give a shit about me,” he said flatly.
Lily flinched. “It’s not—”
“Evans,” Regulus said her name with a quiet finality that silenced whatever words she had been about to offer. His voice was low, not harsh, but edged with the kind of truth that didn’t ask to be argued with. “Trust me. He doesn’t.”
There was a long pause, full of the kind of silence only shared between people who’ve both lost too much to argue over crumbs.
She looked at him like she wanted to say more. That he was wrong. That Sirius was angry, not indifferent. That there was still something salvageable between them. But Lily had never been one for fantasy, not when the facts were standing right in front of her, shoulders stiff with all the words he wouldn’t say.
“You should eat,” she said instead, quietly. Her voice had lost all its fight now, worn down to bone. “You look like you haven’t in days. I can make something quick—”
“I haven’t,” he admitted, lips quirking at the corner, tired. “But I can’t stay.”
“Why not?” she asked, almost pleading — not with desperation, but that old, persistent hope of hers that he had always found more terrifying than any threat.
But he was already pulling his coat from the back of the chair, already slipping his arms through the sleeves like armour.
“Someone has to make sure Barty doesn’t burn the house down,” he said, reaching for his gloves.
“Evan’s there.”
“That’s half the problem.”
She exhaled slowly, defeated.
He moved toward the door, and she followed, the soft pad of her socks barely audible behind him. When he opened it, the cold rushed in instantly, curling around his boots and fingers and cheeks like claws made of wind.
He paused in the doorway, not looking back.
“I’ll bring more supplies next time,” he said after a beat. “Something stronger for Dorcas. And the mandrake might make it if you put it in warm water tonight.”
Lily nodded slowly. “Be careful.”
He glanced at her then, just for a second.
And in that second, she saw the thing behind his eyes. The bone-deep exhaustion. The flicker of pain. The unspoken wish that he could be the kind of person who stayed.
But Regulus Black had always been better at leaving than staying.
“I always am,” he lied.
And then he was gone, swallowed once more by the snow, and the weight of everything he carried alone.
Regulus looked up toward the sky and realized with a sinking feeling that it wasn’t even noon. The clouds hung low and bruised, threatening snow, and the light that filtered through them was pale and uncertain. That meant Remus, at this hour, would probably be alone. Sirius and James were creatures of habit — mornings were spent combing the woods for whatever hadn’t frozen solid or disappeared entirely. Game, fallen herbs, salvage. Anything remotely edible. Sometimes they were gone for hours, and Regulus hoped — really hoped — that this was one of those mornings.
The village was still, the air brittle with cold. Regulus kept his head down, the rhythmic crunch of his boots the only sound. The weight of his satchel had started to dig into his shoulder, and his fingers were cold despite the gloves.
The house appeared through the fog, crooked, leaning slightly to the left like it was too tired to stand straight anymore, smoke curling lazily from the chimney in a line that barely held against the wind.
He stepped up to the door and knocked once, then he pushed it open, wincing at the way the hinges creaked like they were complaining about being disturbed.
He expected to see Remus alone, curled into the corner of the couch, sipping something warm from one of his chipped mugs — maybe wrapped in that faded tartan blanket he always claimed was terrible but never gave up. That was the image Regulus had carried with him the whole walk over.
But it wasn’t Remus who looked up.
It was James.
He blinked at him from the armchair nearest the fire, his glasses slightly fogged, hair sticking up in all directions like he’d only just dragged himself from sleep. One leg was slung lazily over the armrest, a plate balanced precariously on his lap. He looked utterly at ease until he registered who had just come through the door.
James sat bolt upright so fast the chair creaked beneath him, the plate sliding off his lap and landing with a soft clatter on the rug.
“Reggie?” James breathed, his voice almost a whisper. “What are you—?”
“I—uhm—” Regulus stammered, and instantly hated himself for it. The word lodged in his throat, clumsy and ill-fitting, and he bit down hard on the instinct to flinch. What the fuck was wrong with him?
The bag on his shoulder suddenly felt heavier.
Before he could force out another word, Remus walked out of the kitchen, calm and tired and holding a steaming mug between both hands. He took one look at Regulus and offered a small, soft smile, already laced with understanding.
“Morning, Reggie,” he said, as casually as if they'd just bumped into each other at a corner shop. His voice, rough with sleep, threaded through the room like balm. “Good catch today?” He nodded toward the satchel.
Regulus nodded, hand briefly patting the bag like he’d only now remembered it was there. “Yeah. Just… brought a few things over.”
His voice was low, clipped, already retreating.
“I thought you’d be alone,” he added, quieter now. “Didn’t mean to—"
“Nonsense,” James cut in quickly, stepping forward. He crossed the space between them in two strides, his hand brushing Regulus’ arm as he gently hauled him further inside. “You want tea? Coffee? Something to eat?”
His voice was bright, too bright. Like he was trying to make the moment feel normal. Like if he offered food and warmth fast enough, no one would notice the tremor in Regulus’ hands or the way he kept glancing toward the hallway.
But before Regulus could answer, before he could so much as inhale, the atmosphere shifted.
Thickened.
Another presence entered the room — slow, deliberate, and heavy as a coming storm.
Sirius.
He stood leaning against the doorway like he’d been there the whole time, arms folded tight across his chest, one bare foot braced against the frame. His hair was wild from sleep, knotted and falling into his eyes, and the expression on his face was somewhere between suspicion and disdain. He didn’t move.
He just watched.
His storm-grey eyes locked on Regulus, cold and unreadable.
“Thought we barred strays from walking in,” Sirius said at last, voice rough with sleep and venom, his eyes still fixed on his brother like he was something that had tracked dirt across the carpet.
Regulus didn’t flinch. “You should’ve locked the door, then.”
Sirius snorted, stepping off the doorframe with the deliberate slowness of someone choosing violence with every muscle in their body.
“Maybe we should start.”
“Sirius,” Remus said quietly, from behind them.
But Sirius didn’t stop. He prowled closer, barefoot steps whispering across the floorboards like ghosts. The light from the fire caught on the hollows of his face, casting sharp shadows under his cheekbones.
“You bring a present this time, little Reggie?” he asked, voice syrupy and sharp. “Trying to buy your way back into everyone’s good graces, is that it?”
Regulus’ hand dropped casually to the strap of his satchel.
“Food and medicine, mainly. But I can bring you a sharpener knife next time, if that’d speed things up.”
James stepped between them.
“Okay,” he said, voice calm but with that steel edge only Remus ever really respected. “That’s enough.”
“Funny,” Sirius muttered, jaw tight, “how quickly you start playing house again.”
“Sirius,” Remus warned again, stepping forward now. His voice wasn’t loud. “Stop.”
Sirius looked at him, something wild flaring in his expression for half a second, then looked away. Backed down.
“He doesn’t belong here,” Sirius muttered, almost to himself.
Regulus didn’t respond. He didn’t need to. That wasn’t a new wound. That one had scarred over a long time ago. He just turned to James, calm as ever.
“I won’t stay. I only came to drop some things.”
James opened his mouth to say something, but Regulus already started digging through the bag, putting different things on the table.
“The dried meat should hold at least a week,” he said, voice clipped, almost indifferent, as he pulled a wrapped parchment from inside. “Flour’s clean, the rice is dry. I found some honey, too. Need to warm it up a little as it crystallized.”
He reached again into the depths of the bag and retrieved a small, folded pouch.
“Remus,” he added, glancing up for a breath before returning to his task, “I found some tea. Peppermint by the smell.”
Remus blinked, visibly thrown. His hand had paused halfway to his mouth, still holding a limp piece of toast. His eyes lingered on Regulus’ face a second too long before flicking down to the pouch.
But Sirius wasn’t finished.
“Oh, how touching,” he said from the side of the room, voice rising like bile. “A little parcel for the poor. Maybe next time you’ll knit us mittens, yeah? Or maybe a bloody apology.”
Regulus didn’t even glance at him.
Instead, he drew out the heavier contents — vials wrapped in cloth, the shimmer of potion glass catching firelight. The air shifted. Something subtle and awful tightened across the room. He placed them gently on the table: gleaming, jewel-toned potions marked in Madam Pomfrey’s unmistakable, looping script.
Pepperup Potion. Skele-Gro. Blood Replenishment. Murtlap Essence. Fever reducers. Anti-inflammatories.
Small things. But vital. Lifesaving.
James was the first to move. The casual mask he’d been wearing drained from his face like melting wax. He stepped forward slowly, a tightness creeping across his brow that had nothing to do with irritation and everything to do with fear. Not loud, not obvious, but visceral.
Regulus pulled out a folded, thick-knit blanket, the kind Pomfrey kept at the foot of every bed in the Hospital Wing. James reached out without thinking and brushed his fingers against the wool.
“Regulus,” James breathed. “You’ve been at the castle?”
His voice was so quiet, Regulus almost missed it.
“Obviously,” he said simply, tossing a pack of cigarettes onto the pile as though it were nothing more than a footnote. “Did you think I found these in a clearing?”
And the moment he said it, he heard the shift in the room, like breath caught in everyone’s throat at once.
Regulus looked up and caught James' expression just before it shattered.
His face broke in stages — brows lifting, lips parting, eyes wide — and then it hardened, splintered, like glass under sudden pressure.
“What the fuck, Regulus?” James exploded.
His voice cracked through the room like a slap, raw and too loud. He took a step back so quickly that the rickety chair behind him toppled with a crash, skittering across the uneven floorboards.
Remus froze. James Potter never ever broke down or raised his voice.
Sirius, who had been pretending not to listen from his sulk by the window, turned sharply, his eyes narrowing in an instant.
The room seemed to contract, like the air itself was drawing inward.
“You’ve been sneaking into Hogwarts?” James shouted, furious. “Are you insane?”
“I got what we needed,” Regulus said, his voice flat, eyes meeting James’ without hesitation. “That’s all that matters.”
“No.” James’s voice was shaking now, rage giving way to something that sounded like fear. “What matters is you don’t get yourself killed crawling through a Death Eater-infested fortress for tea and fucking bandages!”
“Then who should?” Regulus snapped, his tone still even, but the edge was unmistakable now. “Remus? Sirius? You want to volunteer?”
James stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “We could’ve planned something. Gone together. You don’t just—”
“You think that castle lets more than one person through alive?” Regulus shot back, the volume of his voice still low but edged now, dangerous. “I’ve been doing this for months, James. You move fast, alone, or you don’t move at all.”
James looked like he was about to argue again, but Regulus didn’t give him the chance.
“You think there’s room for teamwork in that place?” He took a step forward. “You think I had the luxury of backup? You either go alone, or you don’t come back.”
“Then maybe don’t go at all!” James shouted, throwing up his hands. “You’re not— You’re not disposable, Regulus! You don’t get to throw yourself away like it means nothing!”
Regulus felt something sharp and treacherous twisting inside his chest.
He met James’ eyes and said, quietly, “You don’t get to decide what I’m worth.”
James flinched, and that’s when Sirius moved. He peeled away from the window slowly, like something waking up, scenting blood. His arms were still folded, but his shoulders were coiled tight, rage creeping into every line of him. His eyes slid between Regulus and James, dark and unreadable, until they finally locked on his brother.
“What’s he talking about?” he said, voice low and dangerous. “What did you do, Regulus?”
Regulus turned, lips pressed in a thin line.
“I got medicine,” he said coolly. “You’re welcome.”
Sirius’ nostrils flared. “You went back there? After everything—Do you want to die, is that it?” he snapped, stepping forward now. “Do you want to vanish again? Is that what this is about? Because if so—”
“Oh, brother,” Regulus cut in, his voice low, sharp as a dagger. “If I wanted to die, I would’ve come to you in the first place. Merlin knows how eager you are to finish the job.”
The silence that followed wasn’t silence at all. It was a vacuum. A sucking, breathless void.
James turned away like he’d heard something he wasn’t meant to. Remus closed his eyes and exhaled, bracing himself for what was coming.
And Sirius — Sirius froze. His mouth parted just slightly, but no sound came out. His fists clenched so tightly his knuckles went bone white.
“Say that again,” Sirius growled, stepping forward.
Regulus didn’t back down. He tilted his head slightly, like he was inspecting a wound he already knew was fatal.
And then he let out a huff and twisted the knife.
“Maybe I should’ve stayed dead afterall,” he said softly. “Your life would’ve been better.”
The punch landed hard and fast, cracking across Regulus’ cheekbone with a sound that echoed through the room like a dropped plate. Regulus staggered back, catching himself against the edge of the table as blood immediately poured from his nose, hot and vivid against his skin.
For a moment, no one moved.
Then Regulus let out a sharp, breathless laugh, blood coating his upper lip. He wiped it away with the back of his hand, smearing it across his mouth like warpaint, and turned his gaze on James.
“Do you need more proof, Potter?” he rasped, scoffing. “Or is this enough?”
James looked horrified, stunned into silence. His face had gone pale, and he opened his mouth, then closed it again, jaw clenched so tight it trembled.
Remus stormed across the room.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he shouted, looking at Sirius.
Sirius’ breath came fast, shallow, shoulders heaving.
“He—he asked for it! He always asks for it! Look at him—he doesn’t know how to stop pushing!”
“You don’t know how to stop hitting,” Remus snapped back, fury blazing through the calm he so often wrapped around himself. “You lash out first and pretend it’s someone else’s fault later.”
Regulus stared at Sirius for a long, cold second.
“You know,” he whispered, voice ragged and low, “you remind me of her sometimes. Our dear Mother.”
The words hit like a thunderclap.
Sirius flinched. Actually flinched, like he’d slapped him. His eyes locked onto his little brother’s — wide, stunned, and unmoored, like he’d struck some hidden, unspoken place deep in him that even he didn’t know existed.
“No,” he whispered. Not to Regulus. Not really. To the empty, echoing space inside him that had never healed. “No, I’m not her.”
But Regulus didn’t stop.
He stepped forward, blood still trickling from his nose, his voice rising with the weight of the unsaid, the things buried beneath years of silence and exile.
“No? Then what are you?” Regulus growled, voice rising with each word. “You think I’m a traitor because of what I did? You think I don’t deserve to stand in this room with you? What does that make you, Sirius?” His voice cracked open, raw and loud now. “You left me. You walked out of that house and never once looked back. You left me in there. With her. With him.”
James blinked, frozen mid-motion like he’d forgotten how to move. Remus looked down, jaw tight, like he couldn’t bear to watch what was coming next.
Regulus kept going, unstoppable now. A dam finally bursting.
“You've got the chance to run. You got to escape. And I stayed.” His voice was shaking now with unspent rage. “Do you know how many nights I had to crawl back to bed because I couldn’t feel my legs?”
Sirius opened his mouth. Nothing came out.
“Do you know how many times I passed out on the floor, Sirius? On the fucking floor, because they said I needed to learn discipline?”
His voice cracked from all the fury. Decades of it. Acid behind every syllable.
“You remember what she was like when she hated you,” Regulus spat. “You should’ve seen what she was like when she loved me.”
Remus made a sound — quiet, wounded — and turned his face away.
James was deathly still.
“They used Crucio on me,” Regulus hissed, breath hitching. “Over and over again because I was their last hope. Because I had to be better than you. Because you ran, and I stayed, and I owed them for it. Do you know what that feels like? To scream until your voice is gone and still not be good enough?”
Sirius was shaking now — whether in rage or guilt or shame, it was impossible to tell.
“And you—” Regulus’s voice was barely more than a growl, low and breaking. “You were happy when you left. You were free. You got out. And I bet you were relieved when I disappeared. I bet you were glad.”
“No,” Sirius choked. “Don’t. Don’t say that.”
But Regulus didn’t stop.
“I wanted to die,” he said, and suddenly the room was made of glass. Fragile. Trembling. “I begged for it. Because at least if I were dead, the pain would stop.”
His voice collapsed on the last word, fractured like bone beneath pressure. It echoed through the room with unbearable weight, like the kind of thing you’re never meant to say aloud.
The fire snapped behind them.
And Sirius just stood there, trembling. Eyes glassy. Like the person in front of him, his little brother was someone he didn’t recognize. Someone he’d failed.
And Regulus, the younger brother, the ghost, the sacrificial lamb, wiped the last of the blood from his chin with shaking fingers, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths. He didn’t cry. He was past that.
“Enjoy the fucking potions,” he said coldly, not sparing a glance. And with that, he yanked the door open and nearly toppled over Peter, who was pale as death, his eyes wide and wild. He looked like he’d run all the way from hell itself.
“They’re here,” he rasped, voice shaking like a loose wire. “They’re here.”
For a second, no one moved. The silence was like a held breath, stretched too thin.
And then the windows exploded inward in a violent storm of shattered glass and howling wind. Blades of jagged crystal sliced through the room like thrown knives. The front wall shook, picture frames dropped like dead birds, and the air was instantly filled with the scent of ozone and smoke.
A flash of red light tore through the air, searing past James’ head and obliterating the doorframe behind him. The wood caught fire instantly.
Someone screamed — Peter, maybe, or just the wind shrieking through broken panes.
Then came the cracks. Dozens of them. Apparitions. From every direction. Like thunder slamming into the ground. Like the world coming undone.
“Down!” James bellowed, diving for the floor as a blast of blue-white magic tore overhead.
“Move, move, move!” Remus shouted, hauling Peter backward by the collar.
But Regulus was already gone.
He’d bolted before the first curse had finished whistling past James’s ear, running full tilt out the door, through the blinding wind and smoke, toward the crooked silhouette of his own house beyond the rise.
Notes:
No, you’re not allowed to be mad at James
You are allowed to be half mad at Sirius, tho. He’s been an ass
Chapter 9: The Tower and its ghosts
Summary:
This is it, guys, this is the chapter where everything goes down and the real story begins
Sorry in advance for what you are about to read, and pls don't hate me
Notes:
Jen Titus- O'Death
Radiohead- Street Spirit (Fade Out)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus tore through the frostbitten grass, boots slipping, lungs burning, a streak of blood still drying across his mouth. A red jet of light screamed past his shoulder. He ducked, kept running. A shadow moved in the trees — more of them, waiting.
He burst through the front door just as another distant explosion lit up the edge of the village.
Inside, Evan and Barty were waiting.
The fire in the hearth had long since burned down to coals, casting the room in low orange light. Both of them were already geared up, their coats fastened, wands holstered at their sides, blades strapped to their thighs with practiced precision.
Barty stood with a slight tilt to one side, still favouring his ribs, but steadier than he’d been in weeks. His mouth was set in that permanent scowl he wore when he was afraid and pretending not to be. His eyes, sharp and bloodshot, flicked immediately to Regulus as he entered, taking him in, assessing for injury, calculating a dozen backup plans before the door even clicked shut.
Evan, by contrast, was kneeling in front of Barty, fingers trembling as he tightened the laces on Barty’s gloves. The movement was meticulous, too focused, like he needed something, anything, to do with his hands or he’d fall apart.
When Regulus stepped inside, Evan didn’t hesitate. He crossed the room in a heartbeat and wrapped his arms around Regulus, pulling him in tight. His breath hitched against Regulus’ shoulder. His whole frame shook. Regulus froze for half a second, then wrapped his arms around Evan in return, holding him with a quiet strength he didn’t have time to name.
“We’ll find each other,” Evan whispered, barely audible. “No matter what. We’ll find each other.”
Regulus squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment. The words punched through his ribs like a stake. He hadn’t realized how close he was to breaking until he felt Evan’s voice shake against his skin.
He opened his eyes again and, over Evan’s shoulder, he met Barty’s gaze.
There was no softness there — not in Barty. There had never really been. But something simmered in his eyes all the same: a kind of promise. He didn’t speak. He didn’t have to. Regulus saw it in the way Barty stood a little taller now, pain or no pain. The way he positioned himself half between Evan and the door. The way his fingers hovered near his knife without shaking.
He would burn down the world before letting anyone touch Evan.
Regulus nodded once. Barty’s chin lifted slightly. Agreement. Understanding.
Then, gently, Regulus pressed a kiss to Evan’s hair.
“Everything is going to be fine, Ev,” he murmured, voice steady, even as the heat of the fire died and the world began to tremble at the seams.
Evan let out a ragged breath and nodded, barely.
But none of them truly believed that.
Outside, chaos had bloomed like fire.
The square yawned open before him, wide and waiting, like a gaping mouth ready to swallow them all whole. It had always felt too exposed here, too open to the wind and the sky and the violence they no longer bothered to hide. But now, it felt worse. Now, it felt like a grave. A hollow carved into the broken heart of what remained of the village.
Regulus stopped at the edge of the stonework, boots crunching over ice-glazed cobblestones, and watched as figures in black began to appear at the far corners. They didn’t rush. No, they never did. Their power was in silence and control. In inevitability.
The circle closed around them with terrifying elegance, cloaks flapping like torn wings in the wind, silver masks gleaming in what little morning light remained. Each mask caught the pale sky and fractured it, turning their faces into shifting, reflective nightmares. Carrion birds in human shape.
James stood at his left — tense, and ready for everything. On his right, Sirius stalked into place, face twisted into something between fury and disbelief. Behind him, Remus took a slow step forward, his jaw clenched, lips pressed into a line that didn’t speak but said everything. Peter was still catching up, one hand braced to his ribs, wheezing as if he could somehow hold in his fear if he clutched tight enough.
Then the lead Death Eater stepped forward. He was tall and cloaked head to toe in black. The silver of his mask was more elaborate than the others. It was carved with ridges like bones, sharp angles like teeth. It gleamed cold in the light, inhuman and beautiful in the way that knives could be beautiful.
He didn’t draw a wand.
Instead, from inside his cloak, he produced a thick parchment scroll, rolled tight and sealed with a band of black wax. He snapped it open with a flick of his wrist, the sound ringing through the square like a whip crack.
When he spoke, his voice didn’t sound real. It was flattened, mechanical, like it had been scrubbed clean of identity. Still, every word landed like a blow.
“Avery.”
A beat of silence passed. Then, from the shadows, a gaunt figure emerged. Hood drawn low, face pale and unreadable. He walked slowly, boots crunching against the frosted ground, and no one moved to stop him. He reached the centre and took his place with the calm of a man stepping onto the gallows.
“Black.”
Sirius tensed beside him, stiffening like he’d been struck, and watched as his brother stepped forward. The world narrowed. He didn’t look back. Didn’t glance at James or Remus or anyone else. He joined Avery at the centre of the square, spine straight, head high.
“You too,” the Death Eater said lazily, gesturing toward Sirius without looking up. “Can’t separate you two. That’d just be cruel.”
Sirius hesitated a beat. His hands curled into fists.
“Oh, come on, Black. Afraid to stand next to your baby brother for once?” another Death Eater crooned. “Touching.”
Another chuckled lowly.
Sirius stepped forward, slowly, defiantly, every line of his body rigid. He took his place beside Regulus, but his jaw was clenched tight enough to splinter.
“Crouch.”
Regulus’ heart pinched as Barty stepped out from the gathering behind him. His limp was subtle, but there. Still, his face was a mask of stone, his chin lifted in defiance. He took his place with all the grace of a king in exile.
“Evans.”
A sharp intake of breath— James.
His hand shot out instinctively, gripping Remus’ wrist with a strength that surprised them both. But before anyone could move, Lily emerged from the crowd.
Hair braided. Coat patched at the elbow. Face calm. She walked forward with a quiet, unwavering resolve, like she'd known this moment was coming for days. She joined the line without looking at anyone.
One of the Death Eaters whistled. “Well, well. Look at this one. Brave little mudblood.”
Another snorted. “Too pretty to bleed. Shame we’ll have to mess that up.”
“Lupin.”
Remus had gone still. His fingers were white where they gripped the sleeve of his coat. His mouth opened slightly, as if to protest. To question. But the Death Eaters were watching, and Remus understood the weight of inevitability better than most.
He swallowed hard, then stepped forward. Every motion stiff with resignation.
“McDonald. McKinnon. Meadows. Mulciber.”
The names came in quick succession. Familiar faces emerged from the edges of the crowd like ghosts rising from the ruins.
Dorcas emerged first, her wand already in her hand.
“Still playing soldier, are we?” a Death Eater drawled. “You always were a mouthy little bitch.”
Marlene stepped into the square like she’d been waiting for it. Eyes scanning the edges. Already calculating.
“Oh, I remember her,” one hissed. “The one who hexed Travers’s—well, never mind what. He still limps.”
Mary walked forward, pale and quiet.
“She doesn’t even talk. Maybe we should teach her how to scream.”
Mulciber joined them, confusion etched deep. He looked unsure which side he stood on as no one spoke to him. No one looked at him.
“Pettigrew.”
Peter let out a choked, strangled sound, part whimper, part sob. He looked around like someone might stop him. Save him. But no one did. So, he stumbled forward, arms drawn tight against his sides, head down like he could disappear inside himself if he just curled small enough.
“Good little rat,” someone purred. “Scurry, scurry.”
“Potter.”
James exhaled — a sound so broken it barely qualified as breath. When he reached Regulus, he stopped close. Closer than expected. He didn’t speak. Didn’t look at him. But Regulus felt the heat of him there.
“Rosier.”
Regulus glanced toward the summoning, and a strange pang twisted inside him. Evan—soft Evan. How had he ended up here? How did someone so gentle belong in this brutal world? He didn’t deserve this. None of it. Not the violence. Not the blood. Not the war.
“Snape.”
Severus emerged from the far corner, cloak sweeping behind him, eyes shadowed and unreadable. He didn’t falter.
“Vance.”
Emmeline stepped forward last, her face as unreadable as stone. Her gaze swept the line as she joined, settling between Dorcas and Peter without a word.
And then there was silence.
The list was done. The square was full.
And then one of the Death Eaters laughed.
“Look at them,” he said, voice echoing off the stones. “The war’s last leftovers. The traitors. The cowards. The halfbloods. The whores.”
Another chuckled. “Should we let them fight? Or just start carving pieces off until they cry?”
The one in the ornate mask stepped forward again.
“No need to rush,” he said, voice like silk over razors. “They’ll break. They always do.”
The wind picked up.
The Death Eater with the scroll rolled it slowly, deliberately, like he had all the time in the world. The black wax seal cracked under his thumb with a quiet, final sound. He slid the parchment back inside his cloak as if sealing away a sentence already passed. Then he spoke, voice void of inflection, as though he were announcing the weather.
“By order of the Dark Lord, you are summoned to the castle.”
No explanation. No mercy.
A flick of his wand, and the others in black shifted, forming ranks on either side, leaving only one path open: the old road that wound north toward the looming shadow of Hogwarts on the horizon.
“Over my dead body” Regulus heard Sirius mutter, voice shaking,
Remus stood still beside him, his jaw clenched so tight it looked like it might snap. “I think,” he said hoarsely, “that’s the idea.”
Peter let out a thin, reedy whimper that sounded more like a kettle about to boil than a human sound.
And somewhere deep in Regulus’ chest, something ancient and cold unfurled. Because he knew that this was the moment everything was going to break.
Then the Death Eater at the front lifted his wand, just slightly, and that was enough. A cruel reminder that there were worse things than walking forward.
James shifted first. He set his jaw, took one step. And then another. The line began to shuffle forward like something broken and resigned, their feet dragging against the dirt road that led north.
Sirius followed just behind, his posture stiff with the kind of rage that threatened to burn everything down. Every few paces, he muttered something under his breath — curses, threats, promises. Regulus didn’t catch all the words, but he felt them like sparks against his spine.
Remus walked with his head low, hands fisted in his pockets. Peter scuttled alongside him, pale as death, his eyes flicking nervously between the masked figures surrounding them.
The castle loomed in the distance, black against the grey sky. Closer with every reluctant step.
Sirius broke the silence.
“This is bullshit,” he snapped, his voice too loud in the quiet. “You know what this is, right? They’re lining us up. Like pigs. Like fucking livestock.”
James didn’t answer, but his hand clenched into a fist at his side.
Sirius kept going, voice edged sharp as glass. “I told you this would happen, Prongs. If you’d just listened to me from the start—”
“Not now, Sirius,” James ground out, his voice low but dangerous. “You really think I don’t know what this is? You think I don’t see it?”
Sirius let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah? Because you’ve been so clear-headed lately. Too busy—” His eyes cut toward Regulus.
James stopped dead. His body turned so fast, Regulus barely had time to catch his breath.
“Shut up.” His voice was raw, trembling. “Shut the fuck up, Sirius.”
For a heartbeat, he thought Sirius might swing back. His hands curled like claws at his sides, and his face twisted, old grief and fresh fury colliding in his eyes.
Remus stepped between them, his palm flat against Sirius’s chest. “Stop it.” His voice was steel, quiet but cutting through the tension like a blade. “Both of you. You’re playing right into their hands.”
Peter whimpered behind them. “Please, please—just keep walking—”
The Death Eaters surrounding them shifted, and the tip of a wand sparked. A flash of green light arced into the sky — not at them, but close enough to make the ground shudder.
That was enough. James turned away, breathing hard through his nose, and started walking again. Sirius spat into the dirt, but followed.
The castle loomed closer now. Its spires clawing at the clouds, its windows dark like empty eyes. The road curved and narrowed, the stones slick underfoot as though even the ground resented them walking on it.
Barty muttered under his breath, close enough for Regulus to hear.
“This feels wrong. All of it. It’s too… neat.”
Regulus swallowed hard, his throat raw. “It’s a show.”
He glanced at him, his mouth tight. “Yeah. And we’re the actors.”
Ahead, the gates of Hogwarts loomed, thrown open wide like a mouth ready to swallow them whole.
They moved through the castle like ghosts.
The heavy doors creaked open before them, dragged wide by chained giants. The chill wrapped around Regulus’s skin as they stepped inside, and it was wrong. So wrong.
He remembered the first time he crossed this threshold like it was yesterday. Eleven years old, wide-eyed, heart hammering with excitement as he stared up at the enchanted ceiling, watching the stars glimmer above. Back then, he had been so sure Hogwarts was a fortress against the dark, a sanctuary. The place where you could start over, where you belonged.
But now… now it felt like a corpse. A hollow shell of something that once pulsed with life and warmth. The torches lining the walls flickered weakly, their light cold and pale, not golden. The familiar banners that once proudly displayed the house colours were gone, stripped away.
Barty and Evan walked beside him, Barty’s face drawn tight, and Regulus knew that he was seeing it too.
The corridor they used when they ran late for Charms. The alcove where Barty and Regulus once hexed Mulciber for calling them blood traitors. The tapestry that used to hide the passageway they snuck through at night to have a smoke.
All of it was still here, but dead.
They passed a cracked statue near the Great Hall doors, once a knight in shining armour, now broken at the waist, helmet lying forgotten at its feet.
Regulus’s fingers brushed against the stone wall as they turned the final corner. It was cold, unyielding. His throat felt tight.
He glanced at James. His jaw clenched so hard the muscle twitched in his cheek. His eyes, usually so bright, were dull now. Like the castle had drained the colour from him.
The massive entrance to the Great Hall, once thrown open to laughter and feasts, now loomed like the gates of hell. The doors swung inward with a heavy, echoing bang that made Regulus flinch.
Inside, it was worse.
The Great Hall had been transformed into a mockery of itself. A perversion of everything it had once stood for.
Where once warmth and welcome had reigned, where laughter had echoed from stone walls and candles had floated like stars above the heads of schoolchildren, there was now only cold, ritualized cruelty. The air was thick with it. With smoke and dust and the metallic sting of magic long since turned putrid.
The four long house tables were gone. In their place stood rows of chairs draped in black velvet, arranged in precise, military order. The Death Eaters occupied them like judges presiding over an execution. Robes the colour of funeral cloth bled into one another until they formed a single, undulating mass. A black tide. A void given shape.
The House banners were gone. In their place, a single massive flag loomed above the high table: black fabric embroidered with the Dark Mark.
Regulus’s stomach twisted as he scanned the faces — not hidden, but displayed openly now. There was no shame here. No need for secrecy. The victors didn’t wear disguises.
Bellatrix Lestrange sat near the front, draped in shadows like a queen of some charnel court. Her head was tipped back in laughter, sharp and sudden, a shriek of something half feral and half delighted. It rang across the chamber like a blade drawn from a sheath — a sound made not with joy, but hunger.
Her dark eyes caught sight of them, and her laughter deepened into something guttural and thick. She leaned forward, chin in hand, smiling wide enough to bare every tooth. Her lips curled back in a slow, slithering grin as she spotted Regulus, her eyes gleaming with feverish affection and something far more sinister.
“Well, well,” she purred, licking the edge of her teeth. “If it isn’t our little star.”
Next to her sat Rodolphus, still and sharp as a blade. He didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His fingers hovered above his wand — not nervously, not in anticipation, but with lazy inevitability. A predator waiting for the prey to twitch.
Further down, Narcissa sat with practiced poise, her expression unreadable. Beside her, Lucius Malfoy watched the approaching group with the dispassionate curiosity of a man observing animals about to be slaughtered. His pale hands rested on the head of his cane, one thumb absently stroking the serpent pommel. His lips twitched, but never quite became a smile.
And then Regulus saw him.
His father.
Orion Black sat in silence, his hands folded, his back straight as a spear. His eyes swept over the gathering with aristocratic disdain, pausing just long enough on Sirius to register disgust before looking away — a dismissal sharp enough to flay.
Sirius didn’t react. But Regulus saw the tension coil in his brother’s spine. He felt it in the air, a vibrating thread between them, pulled taut.
There was no sign of Walburga.
So the rumors were true. The old harpy was dead. No grand pronouncement. No black veil. Just... absence. Erased as if she’d never existed.
A bitter, ugly satisfaction twisted in his chest for half a second before it was swallowed whole by the weight of anticipation.
Regulus swallowed thickly and tore his eyes away from them.
They moved forward as one, their group pressed together by sheer instinct. Drawn like moths to the flame, unable to resist the summons. The ceiling above them still mirrored the sky, but it was black now. No stars. No moon. Just an endless, oppressive void.
It felt like Dumbledore had taken Hogwarts's last flicker of light with him when he died.
What remained was this… husk. A twisted echo of home.
Bellatrix cackled again, sharp and delighted, clapping her hands as though the entire scene had been staged for her personal entertainment.
“Oh, look at them!” she sang, rising to her feet, her arms flung wide in mock welcome. “All our little rebels. Come home at last. Aren’t they precious?”
The Death Eaters around her chuckled. The sound was low and wet and full of teeth.
One of them, a thickset man with a scar across his jaw, leaned sideways to leer at Mary Macdonald, his mask pushed up to reveal yellowing teeth.
“Didn’t know we were having ladies for supper tonight,” he drawled. “Best behaviour, boys.”
“Don’t bruise the pretty ones too early,” sneered another, nudging the man beside him as his eyes raked across Dorcas and Marlene. “No fun if they break too soon.”
Dorcas didn’t blink. Her jaw clenched so tightly it looked like she might bite through her tongue. Marlene, standing beside her, tilted her head back and stared them down, silent and unflinching. But her hands trembled at her sides.
Evan’s fingers brushed against Barty’s hand again, and this time, he gripped back. Hard.
He didn’t flinch.
Suddenly, the temperature in the room dropped like a stone as a figure emerged from the shadows behind the high table.
Tall. Emaciated. Cloaked in black so deep it seemed to drink in the flickering torchlight, swallowing colour and sound alike. His face was a mask of death, pallid and waxen, like something that had never belonged to the living. Red eyes, bright as embers and just as merciless, scanned the hall with glacial disdain.
Voldemort paused behind the throne at the centre of the dais, a hand resting on its high back like a spider settling into its web. The silence throbbed. Breath caught. No one moved. No one dared.
He lifted one long, skeletal hand and motioned for them to come forward. The gesture was lazy, almost bored, but it sent a ripple through the Death Eaters that travelled outward like a wave of instinct. The audience tensed. Eyes sharpened.
The crowd shifted uneasily. They had no choice but to obey. Their group, mud-streaked, clothes torn from running through the streets, faces hollowed by weeks of fear and hunger, shuffled forward in a broken line until they stood before him like prisoners at a sentencing.
Battered. Filthy. And silent.
Voldemort’s red eyes flickered over them, slow and deliberate as a thin smile curled his lipless mouth.
“My, my…” he murmured, head tilting slightly, birdlike. “Look at you.”
He took a step forward, his movement soundless, robes gliding across the floor as though he floated. The air grew colder with each pace.
"Scrawny little things… yet you survived the winter."
He drew the words out like silk, dangerous in their smoothness.
“For that alone…” he went on, his smile widening without warmth, “you should be rewarded.”
A ripple of cruel laughter traveled through the Death Eaters, rising like the hiss of snakes. Bellatrix laughed loudest, slamming a hand against the long table, her delight sharp as shrapnel.
James stiffened, but his head stayed down, his eyes fixed on the floor. Even Sirius, reckless, defiant Sirius, lowered his gaze when the Dark Lord’s attention passed over him, jaw clenched so hard Regulus could see the muscle jumping in his cheek. Remus looked ashen, his eyes shadowed with a thousand memories too grim to speak. Peter, already halfway gone, was shaking so violently his knees knocked together.
And then Voldemort’s gaze found Regulus’ and he stopped.
Lingering.
Evan’s breath hitched beside him, sharp and involuntary, and Regulus could feel his panic radiating like heat. But still, he held the Dark Lord’s gaze.
It was idiotic. It was suicidal. But it was all he had left — the shard of resistance still embedded in his spine.
And Voldemort noticed.
“Little Black,” he hissed, his voice soft and serpentine, every syllable stretching like a string drawn taut. His hand lashed out, fast as a striking snake, and seized his chin in long, skeletal fingers. Voldemort's fingers tightened painfully against it as he jerked his head further, forcing his eyes away from him as though he wanted to make it clear that even if he thought he could stand tall, he could snap that pride in an instant.
His thumb dug into the hinge of his jaw until his teeth ground together.
The hall was so quiet that Regulus could hear the faint crackle of the torches guttering high above.
“Still looking,” Voldemort murmured, tilting his head as if examining a piece of flawed crystal. “So bold. So upright.”
He gave Regulus’ jaw a slight twist, just enough to make the pain flash brighter.
“I remember,” the Dark Lord whispered, almost gently. “A clever boy. Precise. Watchful. Sharp like a sliver of glass.”
The compliment made Regulus’s stomach churn.
“You could’ve been great,” he said, “if you’d only understood your place.”
Behind him, the Death Eaters sat frozen. Even Bellatrix had gone still, her manic smile fixed in place like a painting. She watched with open, trembling reverence. As if witnessing a holy ritual.
“You had potential,” Voldemort continued, tone almost lazy now. “Far more than your brother, who chose the dog’s life.” He gave a slight sneer. “And far more than your… companions, whose usefulness ends where sentiment begins.”
Barty stiffened. Evan’s jaw tightened.
“But you,” Voldemort said, fingers tightening minutely, “you calculated. You waited. You studied. You understood what none of the others did: that power is not seized with noise. It is taken quietly.”
He released Regulus’ jaw slowly, letting his head fall forward like a dismissed puppet. The ache bloomed along his jawline, his tongue tasting copper. Still, he stood.
“And yet you ran,” Voldemort went on, circling him now like a lecturer admiring his student. “Hid in the dirt. Survived like a rat.”
He paused behind Regulus, voice lowering to a murmur meant for his ears alone.
“But rats are clever, aren’t they? They only survive because they know exactly when to run… and when to return.”
A chill ran down Regulus’ spine.
Voldemort moved back into view with terrifying speed, standing tall once more.
“I could kill you,” he said plainly. “I could snap your spine with a flick of my hand and hang your corpse from the gate.”
Regulus didn’t move.
“But where would the fun be in wasting such a brilliant mind?”
Murmurs rippled. Lucius Malfoy lifted his head, brows raised. Even Orion’s posture shifted, just slightly.
“I do not want your death,” Voldemort said, voice almost gentle now. “I want your obedience.”
His voice was almost gentle now — and it was that tone that sent the worst kind of shiver through Regulus’ chest.
“I will unmake your pride,” Voldemort said, quiet and calm. “And build you again in my name. That is your purpose now.”
And just like that, he turned his back and returned to his throne, robes trailing like smoke.
But Regulus stood frozen and lifted his gaze until his eyes found him.
His father.
The old man’s face was unreadable at first, carved into its usual mask of ancestral disdain. But then Regulus saw the flicker of pride.
It was so faint it could have been a trick of the light. But Regulus knew that look. He had starved for it once. As a boy. As a son.
He had bled and burned and obeyed for that flicker.
Something inside him twisted so violently he thought he might be sick. The back of his throat stung. He curled his fingers into his palms until his nails bit the skin.
This was what it took.
Not excellence. Not devotion. Not trying to fix the broken parts of their legacy.
It took survival in the face of degradation. It took becoming a tool.
He wanted to scream, or laugh, or lunge across the hall and drag that flicker out of Orion’s eyes with his bare hands. He wanted to carve his face until no one recognised him.
But he did none of that. Instead, he stared, and Orion met his gaze with something cool and content. As if to say, Finally. This is the son I raised.
Regulus turned away.
He would rather meet Voldemort’s gaze again than his father’s, because at least Voldemort had never pretended to love him.
Voldemort turned back to face them again, the folds of his robes whispering against the cold stone as he moved. His thin lips curled into what might have been called a smile, if one were generous enough to name something so utterly devoid of warmth, so inhuman in its absence of compassion, a smile. It was the barest tug of skin across bone, a mockery of human expression more suited to a corpse learning mimicry.
“You are stubborn things,” he said softly, the syllables dragging with measured weight. “I’ll grant you that. Stubborn enough to cling to life when it would be far simpler to just… die.”
A low murmur slithered through the Death Eaters seated at the long tables. Some sneered, amused. Others chuckled, low and mirthless. One or two simply watched with the cold eyes of predators, waiting.
“Survival, in my world…” Voldemort paused, his red gaze sweeping over the group with theatrical slowness, “is rewarded.”
From the far end of the hall, Bellatrix let out a high, sharp giggle, the sound sharp as broken glass. It ricocheted off the walls like a curse. She clapped her hands, her joy feral, unrestrained.
Voldemort moved with languid grace, lowering himself into the throne that loomed like a monument behind him. His wand dangled between two long fingers.
“My world,” he continued, voice soft, “does not coddle weakness. It does not tolerate cowardice. Those who live under my rule must prove they are worthy of the life they cling to so desperately.”
He said “life” the way one might say “scrap” or “parasite.”
His eyes flicked, one by one, over their group.
“You have been given a rare gift,” Voldemort said, drawing himself up slightly, his voice gaining volume, addressing the entire hall now. “An opportunity.”
The words dripped with false generosity, the kind offered before a knife.
“You will be tested,” he said, eyes glinting. “Trial after trial, until only the strong remain standing. The cowards…” he waved a careless hand “will be cast aside. The weak will fall.”
The hall fell deathly still.
“Think of it… as a game,” Voldemort said, letting the word stretch in the air like something obscene. “A resurrection of the old traditions. A Tournament…” a cruel smile “reborn, in my image.”
His tone was laced with cold amusement, and as the words left his lips, the Death Eaters erupted into malicious laughter. It rolled through the hall like thunder, ugly and gleeful. Someone pounded the table. Another whistled through their teeth.
Bellatrix practically vibrated with glee. “How perfect, my Lord!” she crooned, rising slightly from her seat.
Lucius offered a thin smile, one that didn’t touch his eyes — those stayed sharp, calculating, watching everything. His fingers drummed once against the table in silent rhythm. Narcissa, beside him, allowed herself a slight curl of the lips, though her eyes darted away just as quickly. As though even enjoying this display was something too dangerous to be caught doing openly.
Regulus’ stomach turned.
This wasn’t a game. It was a death sentence wrapped as a spectacle.
Voldemort’s voice lowered until it felt like it was wrapping around their throats.
“You will face these trials,” he said, tone suddenly intimate, “and you will do so together. You will fight. You will bleed. You will break. And if you survive…” a beat “you may earn the privilege of continuing to exist in my world.”
His grin widened, sharp as a blade.
“And where better to house such brave little champions… than in the tower that once claimed courage as its creed?”
He chuckled darkly, the sound scraping at Regulus’ nerves.
“You will all be confined to the former Gryffindor Tower. Locked away like the relics you are. A fitting place, don’t you think?”
His heart thudded painfully against his ribs, his mind racing and yet painfully clear at the same time.
Voldemort flicked his hand, as though already bored of their presence.
“You will be escorted to your quarters. The first trial begins tomorrow at sunset. Rest while you can.”
The Death Eaters erupted in jeering applause, their laughter bouncing off the stone walls like hammers.
Bellatrix whooped and threw her head back in delight. Lucius leaned toward Narcissa, murmuring something too quiet to hear. She nodded once, her face smooth, unreadable.
But Regulus couldn’t hear them anymore. His blood roared in his ears.
He forced himself to look around him and saw that their faces mirrored his own thoughts — disbelief, horror, but beneath it, that stubborn ember of defiance.
They could lock them in a tower. They could call them scrawny, broken, and weak.
But Regulus knew one thing with absolute certainty:
They’d survived the winter, and they’d survive this.
The heavy doors of Gryffindor Tower creaked open with a groan that echoed through the empty halls. They stepped inside, and the sight that greeted them made Regulus’ stomach twist. He had never been inside the Gryffindor common room before. Not once in all his years at Hogwarts. But in his mind, he’d imagined it vividly. Warmth. Colour. Laughter. A fire always crackling, boots drying by the hearth, red and gold banners waving gently above cluttered armchairs.
This… was not that.
The common room was cold now. Stripped bare of every banner, every tapestry that had once made it feel like home. The rich reds and golds were faded, dulled to an almost sickly brown in the dim light. The fireplace was cold stone. Even the portrait hole gaped open like a wound.
They all stood there for a long, breathless moment, taking it in.
Then, inevitably, the silence was shattered.
“Disgusting,” Mulciber sneered, his voice loud and nasal, an ugly sound that jarred against the hush like a wrench dropped on stone. “Smells like rot and piss.”
Avery made a noise of agreement, crinkling his nose as he stepped over the threshold like he expected the floor to bite him.
Snape’s face was an unreadable mask, but even he looked faintly repulsed, his lip curling as he cast a glance at the tattered remains of the house crest above the mantle.
Mulciber turned back to the group with a sneer, motioning toward the centre of the ruined room with his wand like a man directing livestock.
“This is where you lot grew up?” he asked mockingly. “Looks like a fucking zoo pen. No wonder you lot turned out the way you did. Raised in filth.”
Regulus felt something in his chest go very, very still.
It wasn’t heat. Not fire. It was the absence of it. The complete stilling of blood in his veins. The kind of cold that came from somewhere marrow-deep.
Mulciber didn’t see it.
He was still grinning as he turned fully to Regulus.
“Must be weird, yeah?” he added, smug. “Seeing what real power looks like now. Should reconsider licking boots again, Black.”
Regulus didn’t think as he moved.
He crossed the space between them like a shadow, his hand a blur as he shoved Mulciber hard into the crumbling stone wall. The thud echoed through the room, a choked curse escaping Mulciber’s throat, cut off the next second by the cool kiss of steel beneath his jaw.
Regulus’s dagger gleamed where it pressed against the vulnerable patch of skin just under the bone. His grip didn’t tremble. His wrist didn’t waver.
His voice, when it came, was a rasp.
“Say that again.”
Mulciber froze. The colour drained from his face. His grin fractured, crumbling in real time.
“Go on,” Regulus whispered, tone shaking not with rage, but with effort. With control. “Say it. I fucking dare you.”
Avery took a step forward, mouth already opening, but Barty moved in front of him, casual, smiling. He didn’t say a word, just stood there with a glint in his eye, like this was the best entertainment he’d had in weeks.
Snape took a half step back.
Mulciber said nothing. His eyes flicked between the dagger and Regulus’s face, and what he saw there rooted him to the spot.
Because Regulus was calm.
Too calm.
Dead calm.
“You think this is a game?” Regulus went on, his voice quieter now, but far more dangerous. His grip didn’t shake. “You think you can snarl and preen like some pureblood dog because you sat with them at the same table?”
He pushed the dagger just enough to nick the skin. A single drop of blood welled up, bright red.
“You were never brave enough to lead. Never sharp enough to rise. Just loud enough to follow orders and laugh at things you don’t understand.”
Mulciber swallowed, or tried to, the movement causing the blade to press deeper. His breath hitched.
Regulus didn’t let the dagger fall. He kept it there, the silver tip biting into the vulnerable flesh beneath Mulciber’s jaw. Regulus' breathing was steady, but his eyes burned with something off. Something deeper than rage — a flicker of delight in the control, in the silence of the room. Everyone was watching, but none of it mattered.
It was just him and the worm in front of him.
“If you ever come near me again,” Regulus said, quieter still, as though whispering directly into his ear, “or if I catch you looking at any of the girls here like you're thinking about pulling your usual filth—”
He leaned in, and Mulciber stiffened.
“Your head,” Regulus whispered, “will be the first to roll. I will pluck your eyes out and shove them in your mouth, then hang it in the courtyard. I swear it on my blood.”
The dagger pressed harder for emphasis. A single thread of blood slid down Mulciber’s throat and disappeared beneath his collar.
Then, worse than rage, worse than threat, Regulus smiled.
A small thing. Crooked and wrong.
Like a fracture along the edge of sanity.
“And Mulciber?” he added, barely louder than breath now. “Before you sleep at night…”
He tilted his head, grin widening just slightly, eyes gleaming with something unhinged.
“…you should always check under your bed. Just in case.”
For one awful moment, he held that smirk, dagger still kissing Mulciber’s throat. And then he stepped back. Smooth, controlled, as though nothing had happened. The blade vanished beneath his sleeve with practiced ease.
Mulciber collapsed against the wall with a gasp, one hand clutched to his neck like it could hold in the humiliation. His eyes didn’t follow Regulus this time.
Even Avery, usually the first to throw a retort, was silent, eyes darting nervously between the others like someone watching the edge of a cliff erode.
Regulus didn’t look back.
He moved to the dead hearth and stood with his back straight, eyes fixed on the cold stone.
“Let’s get this over with.”
Sirius let out a sharp breath and turned toward the stairs without waiting.
“Come on,” he muttered darkly. “We’re claiming our old room before one of those bastards puts their boots on my bed.”
James looked at Regulus, then followed his friend, Remus, closely behind.
"Charming reunion," Emmeline muttered under her breath. “Pete?”
Peter, pale and jittery, just nodded and grabbed her hand. They walked together, a small, uncertain unit, like children climbing stairs in a house that no longer felt like home.
Mulciber wiped the blood from his neck and sneered, but he kept his distance this time.
Avery looked uncomfortable. Snape said nothing, his dark gaze flickering from Barty to Regulus.
Regulus turned his gaze across the room, and there they were — Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas — huddled together near the base of the stairs.
Lily’s face was pale, her green eyes wide and glassy as if she were struggling to steady her breathing, one protective arm around Mary, who looked like she might crumble if anyone so much as brushed against her. Dorcas has her jaw clenched so tight, Regulus thought it might crack. She was holding Marlene behind her, as if ready to pounce if needed.
Mulciber threw them one more look over his shoulder, a lingering sneer curling his lip, before he finally stalked off toward the boys’ side of the tower. His heavy boots echoed against the old stones, every step a taunt.
“I’m taking the room across from you,” Regulus said at last, his voice like flint, low, even, sharp-edged. He stepped closer, just enough to draw a line in the air. “Evan and Barty will bunk in the room next to yours.”
Lily nodded, stiff and slow, her throat working around the motion. Her eyes didn’t leave his.
“Excuse me?” Mary’s voice cut through the room like a whip crack, high-pitched and tight with disbelief. She stepped forward, her eyes wide and dark. “That part of the tower is for girls only.”
The desperation in her voice wasn’t lost on anyone. It wasn’t about the rule — not really. It was about the last shred of structure left in a world that had become chaos. It was about safety. Privacy. The illusion that something still made sense.
Barty rolled his eyes.
“Oh, McDonald,” he said with a dramatic groan, pushing off the banister. “Yes, because Mulciber is definitely going to honour the sacred girls’ corridor and respect your bedtime boundaries. Maybe you should put up a little 'Do Not Enter' sign in glitter, see if that helps.”
Marlene's face went pale, her grip tightening on Mary’s arm.
Lily’s shoulders stiffened, and Regulus could see the shudder that passed through her — a ripple of silent terror she fought to swallow down.
“Fine,” she said, flatly, before Mary could bite back.
Mary whipped her head toward Lily, eyes blazing like she’d just betrayed her.
“Fine?!” she hissed, voice cracking. “You’re just going to—"
“We don’t have the luxury of safety, Mary.”
She said it flatly, without softening the blow, because they couldn’t afford comforting lies right now.
Regulus’ jaw clenched so hard it hurt. “You want to count on locked doors and old rules? Be my guest. But I’m not taking any chances with them.”
Mary's face twisted, the fight flickering in her eyes, but it died when Lily’s hand found hers.
“Reggie is right,” Lily whispered, her voice small. Her green eyes flicked toward the stairs Mulciber had disappeared up, and Regulus knew she was seeing every nightmare possibility laid out in her mind. “Here will be even worse than out there. At least out there, you can run. In here? We're trapped with them.”
Mary looked at Lily, then at Regulus, her throat bobbing as she swallowed back words she didn’t want to say. Finally, she gave a tight, jerking nod.
The surrender felt heavier than it should have.
Across the room, Evan shifted, as if sensing the growing discomfort, and stepped forward with a smile that was too soft for the space they were standing in.
“I know is not ideal,” he said gently, his voice calm and honey-warm, “but this is necessary. We’ve been living beside them for seven years, and trust me…” he let the smile fade just slightly, “they are vermin.”
Mary flinched almost imperceptibly.
“Oh, Evan,” Barty sighed dramatically, practically floating across the room with that grin he wore like a weapon. “You sweet, sweet thing.”
He slung an arm around Evan’s shoulder, planting a loud, deliberately obnoxious kiss on his cheek that made Evan groan and shove him half-heartedly away.
“Always the diplomat,” Barty continued, grinning widely. “So proper. So tragic.”
Regulus didn’t turn. He was standing by the tall windows, watching the grey sky bruise darker above the Forbidden Forest, arms folded, one shoulder pressed to the stone.
“Oi, Reggie,” Barty called out, voice lighter now, like the tension hadn’t just sunk into the walls. “You sure you want to bunk alone? Seems like a waste of your brooding potential.”
Regulus didn’t even blink.
“Third wheeling is not my thing,” he said coolly, gaze still fixed outside. “Besides, I’d rather share a room with a Blast-Ended Skrewt than listen to you two fuck like rabbits every night.”
That earned a half-laugh, half-sputter from Evan, who turned beet red. Barty grinned, entirely unbothered.
“Can’t make any promises, darling. You know what war does to us. Nothing like a good fight to set the mood.”
Regulus finally turned, slow and deliberate.
“Just keep it quiet,” he said. “Or I’ll personally hex your bits off and hang them from the Astronomy Tower like wind chimes.”
There was a stunned silence. Then Barty threw his head back and laughed, sharp and delighted. “There’s the Reggie I missed.”
Regulus rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.
"Come on,” he muttered, voice clipped. “Let’s claim our rooms before I change my mind and slit Mulciber's throat.”
Nobody asked if he was joking. No one really wanted to know.
They climbed the stairs quickly, the girls huddled close together, casting wary glances over their shoulders like they expected Mulciber or Avery to come slinking out of the shadows at any moment.
When they reached the landing, Barty gave a low whistle and nodded toward an empty dorm.
"We’re taking this one," he announced, already stepping inside like it was decided. Evan didn’t argue; he just ghosted in behind Barty, his face unreadable but his shoulders tense.
"Fine by me," Regulus muttered.
Regulus lingered for a moment in the hallway, watching as the girls disappeared into their room and the door clicked shut behind them. He could still hear their muffled voices, low, tight, the edge of fear not quite hidden beneath forced calm. He turned toward the door across from them. The hinges groaned as he pushed it open, the sound dragging through the silence like something wounded. The air inside was stale, thick with dust and the faint scent of mildew. The windows were cracked open just enough for the wind to whisper in, tugging at the tattered curtains like fingers brushing fabric in a dream.
There were four beds, scattered unevenly across the room. All of them were in different stages of decay. One had a frame rusted through in places, the mattress sunken and torn open like a gutted beast. Another was scorched along one edge, its wooden posts blackened and brittle. The third was missing half its slats, the mattress bowed and sagging, coiled springs peeking through the stuffing like ribs through broken skin.
The fourth was the least ruined.
Still warped, still filthy, but the frame held together. The mattress didn’t dip like a sinkhole. There were no visible burn marks, no bloodstains, no remnants of a fight. Just old dust and neglect.
Regulus moved toward it without thinking and sat slowly, testing the creak and groan of the frame beneath his weight. It held.
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, staring at the cracked floorboards beneath his boots. He rubbed a hand over his face, gritty with sweat and dirt. Tomorrow they'd fight again. Or run. Or bleed. Or break. Or whatever the fuck the Universe was throwing at them.
The floor creaked at his left.
Lily stood in the threshold, arms crossed tightly over her chest like she was holding herself together. Her hair was loose, frizzed from the damp, catching in the dim light like strands of fire. She didn’t step inside, just lingered at the edge of the room, a silhouette framed in shadow.
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “For stepping in earlier. With Mulciber.”
Regulus gave a small shrug, though the muscles in his shoulders ached. “Wasn’t exactly charity,” he muttered. “He was pissing me off.”
Still, she smiled. Tired, worn down to the quick, but real. “Doesn’t matter. You stepped in.”
A beat passed in silence, and then her eyes shifted—soft, uncertain. “You think the boys will be okay?”
Her voice was thin and frayed, like fabric worn threadbare.
“I think they’ll give Mulciber hell before they let him breathe wrong in their direction. Don’t worry about them. Sirius most probably sleeps with his knife under his pillow.”
A faint, fragile smile tugged at the corner of Lily’s mouth. But her eyes, too bright, glassy with unshed things, never softened.
Then, quieter still, she asked, “What about the full moons?” Her voice trembled around the edges. “What about Moony?”
Her gaze flicked toward the door, as if she could see through it—past the peeling wood and crumbling stone, past the makeshift common room, to the pack of Death Eaters that haunted it. Old enemies in stolen homes.
Regulus stood slowly. He didn’t approach her, but his voice came steady, sharp with promise.
“We’ll manage to get him out,” he said. “We’ll find a way.”
There was steel under the words, hard and unshaking. His tone brooked no argument. Not even from himself.
For a moment, she just stared at him, like she was seeing him clearly for the first time. Not a Black, not a Slytherin, not Sirius’ brother. Just a boy who had already lost too much and refused to lose more.
She nodded once, her throat working around the emotion that refused to rise. Then she stepped back, the door clicking gently shut behind her.
The tower was dead quiet by the time Regulus slipped out of the room. Most probably, everyone was in their room, discussing and dissecting how everything changed in such a short time.
He shut the door behind him carefully, his bare feet silent on the cold stone floor as he crossed the hall to where Barty and Evan had holed up.
He rapped his knuckles once, sharp and deliberate, because he had had enough of walking on them while doing absolutely unspeakable things.
The door creaked open within seconds, just an inch, just enough for Barty’s narrowed eyes to peek out. He looked like he hadn’t even tried to rest— hair disheveled, shirt wrinkled, but alert in the way that suggested he’d been pacing instead of sitting.
Evan was where Regulus knew he’d be, perched on the windowsill, curled in like a cat. He didn’t turn when Regulus entered, but his gaze lifted. Cool. Calm. Unreadable. But not surprised.
“We need to get rid of them,” Regulus said, his voice quiet but final.
Barty’s grin spread wide. “Fucking finally. What’s the grand plan?”
Regulus stepped further in.
“We pick them off in the trials. That’s our chance. If Voldemort wants a spectacle, we give him one.”
“Oh, this is going to be delicious.” Barty nearly purred, already in motion. He started pacing, fingers twitching like they were already building traps. “Accidents happen in dangerous games,” he said, sing-song, as if reciting a beloved poem. “So tragic. So unpredictable.”
“Avery goes first,” Regulus said, folding his arms. “He’s been ratting to the Death Eaters for months — spinning stories to save his own hide. No one will question it when he doesn’t walk out.”
“We make it grand,” Barty added, nodding eagerly. “Enough flair to entertain the Dark Lord.”
Evan finally spoke, his voice low and even. “And Mulciber?”
Regulus turned his eyes toward him, jaw tense. “Second round. He’s too loud. Too arrogant. Let him stew in it. Let him think he’s safe. We wait just long enough that paranoia cracks him.”
“Oh, you bastard,” Barty breathed, beaming. “That’s beautiful.”
Regulus ignored the comment. “We time it right, and we make sure it happens where it’s messy. Public. Let the others watch. Let them know. This ends with Mulciber choking on his own blood in front of everyone.”
Evan was silent again. But his mouth twisted — a faint echo of something dark and satisfied. That was the thing about Evan. He could be a soft, warm person, but turn into a bloody, manipulative sadist in a second.
That’s what made them work. Three edges of the same weapon.
Barty spun on his heel, hair flying messily around his face, energy practically crackling off of him. “Do we give anyone a heads-up? Lupin? Potter?” He said the last name like it tasted expensive, and he hated himself for liking it.
Regulus narrowed his eyes, voice flat. “They find out when they need to. If we tip our hand too early, we’re all corpses. They don’t know how to play this, Barty. They’re still clinging to some dusty idea of fairness and rules. Gryffindor delusions.”
Barty tilted his head, grinning like a madman. “Such a cynic, Reggie. Tragic, really. All that noble blood and not a single drop of feelings left.”
Regulus huffed. “Feelings get you killed.”
“Mm.” Barty leaned against the bedframe, arms crossed lazily, but there was a glint in his eye, something sharp and knowing. “Still. Shame. Would’ve loved for you to see Potter’s face when you sliced into Mulciber earlier. All flushed and twitchy. A little…conflicted.”
He gave a low whistle and fanned his face dramatically. “So very conflicted.”
Evan gave him a sharp glance, frowning.
Regulus gave him a look. “Don’t.”
But Barty only grinned wider. “I’m just saying…you really do know how to make a scene, darling. Knife to the throat, blood on your collar, the Potter boy looking like he’d just discovered a new religion. I am telling you, Reggie, that bloke has a thing or two for the knives.”
Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled like someone reaching for patience that didn’t exist anymore. “I am not indulging this conversation. I’m going back to my room.”
He jabbed a finger at Barty. “You—don’t do anything stupid.”
“Me?” Barty gasped, hand to his heart. “Stupid? Never.”
“You’ve never done a single thing not stupid,” Evan muttered from the windowsill.
“And yet,” Barty said, bowing theatrically, “I survive.”
Regulus was already at the door, shaking his head, but not without the faintest twitch at the corner of his mouth. Not a smile. Just something like an echo of who they used to be, before the world caught fire.
Notes:
brb, James is having his first kink awakening
Chapter 10: Father’s son
Summary:
Welcome to Orion’s Hate Club!
Muse- Stockholm Syndrome
Sleep Token- The Summoning
Notes:
TW: family trauma, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation
Chapter Text
By the time they reached the Great Hall for dinner, Regulus could feel the pressure winding itself through the cage of his ribs, a serpentine tension tightening with every step, coiling inward, as though the very air sought to crush him from within. The atmosphere here was different, suffocating in its density, imbued with a rancid kind of charge. Even the air was fouler, tinged with decay and dread. It was not merely the weight of magic that pressed down upon the stones; it was the weight of a thousand unspoken violations, of secrets steeped in blood and bound by silence. The space had been transformed, corrupted, reshaped into something theatrical.
At the far end of the hall, where once the professors had gathered, the table had become a monument to corruption. A grotesque feast had been laid out with almost surgical precision: platters of roasted meat glistening under enchanted light, loaves still steaming with melted butter, and goblets full of wine. It was meant to remind them, in every shining surface, of what they had once known, what they had once been allowed to taste. Now placed forever beyond their reach.
And then, there was their table. If one could call it that. It looked more like an accident than an arrangement. A gathering of broken benches and uneven crates. The bowls in the centre were tin, dented and rust-stained, the surface of the so-called soup inside shimmering with a thin, greasy film. Stray vegetable peels clung to the metal like the remains of something already digested. The bread was stale and mouldy. A pile of scraps. There was no mistake here. No oversight. Every detail had been curated with meticulous cruelty; an intentional message carved into the very arrangement of their humiliation: you are not equals. You are not even guests. You are owned.
Regulus said nothing as he stepped forward, his silence not born of fear but of calculation. He moved with Barty to one side, Evan to the other, the familiar choreography of their triangle carried out without need for words. Behind them, the girls followed: Lily’s face was pale, drawn tight like parchment stretched too thin, but her chin remained lifted in defiance. Dorcas's wand hand hovered at her side. The body remembers how to brace for impact, even when the mind is numb.
Regulus’s eyes moved constantly, not in panic, but with the methodical precision of someone cataloguing threats, assessing vectors, committing every angle of exposure to memory. He was not seeking comfort. He was seeking advantage—what few could be found in a place like this.
Mulciber loitered near one of the eastern pillars like a carrion bird waiting for the feast to begin, his weight slouched against the stone in calculated laziness, a cruel grin twisting his mouth into something feral. His fingers twitched intermittently, barely perceptible flinches toward his wand, as though the anticipation of violence was a pulse in his blood he could not quite still. Further in, half-shrouded by shadows cast from the high candelabra, Avery sat with his spine unnervingly straight, the fingers of one hand tapping a slow, deliberate rhythm against the base of the goblet nestled near his elbow. Regulus recognized that sound immediately; it was a kind of heartbeat, steady and low, and he had only ever heard it when Avery was on the edge of something he found thrilling.
They were not seated with them on the crates, of course. That much was predictable. The air around them was too sharp, too alert, too pointedly separate for it to be a coincidence. Word travelled fast in places like this, so it was no doubt that everybody already knew about what transpired between Mulciber and Regulus in the tower.
The Lestranges, unsurprisingly, had claimed their usual territory at the upper end of the table, sprawling as though they had inherited dominion. Rabastan, always the quieter shadow to his brother, cast a glance toward them that moved too slowly to be casual, rolling his wand between his fingers. Bellatrix was smirking, though the expression belonged more to a predator than a woman, wide and sharp and alight with the promise of something awful. Her fingers twitched, restless, like she was already rehearsing a hex in her mind, savouring its taste before she cast it.
And then there was the throne, or what had once been Dumbledore’s chair, now desecrated into something else entirely. Voldemort did not sit so much as possess the space, coiling himself into the wood and shadow like a god rendered in corpse-pale flesh. His fingers clutched the armrests with the elegance of talons, each digit a reminder that hands, too, could strangle as much as they could wield wands. His face was skeletal and sunken, more ruin than human. When his eyes began their slow, sweeping pass through the Great Hall, it was not vision, but an evaluation. Each person was a specimen. Each movement a variable. And when that gaze halted, however briefly, upon Regulus, it did not blink. It did not soften.
It lingered. Just for a breath. A fraction. A flicker of attention so sharp it could have drawn blood.
But it was enough.
Without a word, Regulus made his way to the jagged crate that passed for his place, shoulders drawing tighter with each step as though preparing for impact. He slid between Barty and Evan, their presence familiar.
Barty leaned in close, voice low and edged with a wry malice that never quite reached his eyes. “Nice of them to set the mood,” he murmured, eyeing the soup with a grimace. “Think they'll let us chew the bones if we ask sweetly?”
Regulus didn’t respond. He was no longer here, not fully, anyway. His mind had already moved four steps ahead, layering possibility over probability, spinning webs of consequence with mechanical precision. He catalogued entryways. Calculated lines of sight. Noted where each hostile body stood in relation to them. Which wand hands were shifting. Who was left-handed. Which faces were frozen too perfectly. Which smiles were held too long.
Beneath the table, Evan’s foot tapped twice.
A signal.
Regulus did not shift. Did not glance. But the message was absorbed, processed, and stored. Someone was moving. Someone worth watching. And in a room where truth was a liability, he trusted Evan’s silence far more than most men’s oaths.
Then, with the suddenness of a whisper slipping through a crypt, a faint tug brushed against the edge of his sleeve. So slight it could’ve been missed—except Regulus never missed anything.
“Young Master,” came the voice, dry and rasping like wind through brittle bones. “Master Orion wishes to see you.”
The voice stopped the world.
Regulus stilled mid-motion, and something old and cold curled around his spine, sinking its claws. He turned his head slowly, too slowly, toward the figure at his side.
Kreacher.
His breath caught.
The creature standing beside him looked like a parody of what Regulus remembered. The eyes were the same, pale and watery, but the rest had withered. His skin sagged off a gaunt frame, and where there had once been a prideful straightness to his spine, there was now a stoop that screamed of pain endured too long. One ear was torn, as if someone had yanked him by it too hard, and his hands trembled at his sides, long fingers gnarled and bruised. His tunic was filthy. Threadbare. And even from here, Regulus could see the faint shimmer of old blood dried beneath his jawline.
There was no one else who saw Kreacher anymore. Not as anything other than a tool, a nuisance, or a grotesque little servant to be disciplined and discarded.
But Regulus saw him. He always had.
A sickness swelled in his chest, hot and violent. His fingers clenched the fork so tightly his knuckles ached.
Not for Kreacher, never for Kreacher. He felt no pity for someone who would have spat in the face of pity. What he felt was infinitely more dangerous.
Hatred.
Pure, undiluted hatred.
For the people in this room who saw Kreacher’s bowed head and still asked for more. For the way his father’s name still held enough power to make that frail creature obey. For every bruise layered beneath that filthy tunic. For every command Kreacher had swallowed without protest, and every punishment he had endured with nothing but silence.
For the culture that had taught them that this was normal.
Regulus remembered how the hallway had been lined with the mounted heads of house-elves. They'd enchanted them to bow when you entered, so they could keep serving in death. His cousins had laughed about it, called it clever, quaint, traditional. Even Sirius had spat at the grotesque display.
Regulus had been seven. He hadn’t known how to name the feeling in his gut back then, but he knew it now.
It was revulsion.
There was something insidious about it, vile in a way even Death Eater magic couldn’t rival. To use something completely, utterly, and then display its corpse as decoration. That wasn’t just cruelty. That was consumption. That was devouring something’s soul and then making a trophy of its obedience.
And still, they'd dressed it in honor.
That was the Black legacy, wasn’t it? Wrap a noose in velvet and call it a bloodline.
Regulus had always known, on some wordless level, that house-elves were aware in a way his parents didn’t believe. Maybe not in the way wizards measured intelligence, but something more intimate, more ancient. They remembered. They watched. They understood. Their magic was wild and old and tangled with oaths stronger than any spellbook could replicate. And while his family saw them as disposable, Regulus had watched Kreacher bandage his cuts, hold his secrets. When Regulus fainted beside his bed after too many hours of Legilimency, it had been Kreacher who sat beside him without a word, who had not mocked him or scolded his weakness.
Kreacher was not less.
And yet he had been broken. By them. By this house. Maybe even by Regulus himself without realising.
Regulus’s jaw tightened until it ached.
The silence dragged between them, oppressive and sharp. Kreacher hadn’t raised his eyes once. He didn’t need to. The shame was already etched into his every line. And Regulus wanted to scream, not at Kreacher, but at the world that had carved that shame into him like it belonged there.
He gave a single, subtle nod and rose from the bench without a word, his plate still untouched. No one moved to stop him, but the weight of their gazes followed him with every step.
Across the table, Sirius looked up, his grey eyes meeting Regulus’s, and for the first time since this nightmare had begun, they were not filled with fire. There was no rage there, no searing hate, no jagged remnants of old battles fought in bedrooms and corridors. There was only the look of a man watching a thread of his past unravel in real time. His eyes flicked once to Kreacher, then back to his brother, and he said nothing.
Beside him, James moved to rise, his fork already abandoned, but Remus’s hand found his wrist and held it, steady, firm. A silent warning.
Regulus turned from them all without flinching and straightened his spine, rolling his shoulders back until his posture was perfect—a ghost of the old Pureblood training that had once been beaten into him until it became bone-deep instinct. His face shifted too, drawing inward, sealing off. The cold mask fell into place, smooth as marble, uncrackable. The same one he’d worn since the day he realized that in his world, survival was an art built on silence.
He followed Kreacher down the hall, each step ringing louder than the last in the hollow silence that had settled over the place. The whispers started almost immediately—soft, slicing things, nothing more than breath and venom, but they cut like blades nonetheless. Still, he kept his head high. If he was to be summoned like an obedient beast, dragged out before the court to kneel at the feet of a dying tyrant, then he would at least do so on his own terms.
Kreacher moved ahead in short, stumbling strides, shoulders drawn up tight around his ears, spine curled like he was trying to make himself disappear into the very stones. He looked wrong—so wrong—a creature of fierce loyalty worn down into a trembling outline. The tremors in his hands, the stiffness in his gait, the way he flinched each time a sconce flared too brightly or a door creaked too loudly… it all spoke of centuries of service distilled into one endless punishment.
And it broke something inside Regulus.
This was the creature who had cradled his head during fevers, who had pressed honeywater to his lips when he was too sick to stand. Who had whispered lullabies not found in any book, old words in the language of house-elves, soft and ancient and safe. He had sewn the hem of Regulus’s school robes so tightly they never tore, even when Regulus slid down the marble banisters for the thrill of it. He had cared when no one else in that house had.
And this was his reward.
This brittle, breaking thing, trudging like an old mule toward another order.
The sconces flickered weakly along the stone walls, casting long, warped shadows that danced like spectres behind them, and the wind beyond the stained glass whined low, mournful. The chamber Orion Black had claimed for himself wasn’t part of the main wing, of course. It had been set apart, tucked away in some forgotten corner of the castle like a wound kept hidden beneath ceremonial robes.
Kreacher reached for the handle and opened it with a hand that trembled so badly it took two tries. Then, without a word, he stepped aside. He bowed so deeply that his chin touched his chest. His ears drooped. The curve of his spine made something twist in Regulus’s gut—something primal and awful.
It wasn’t a bow anymore. It was a submission. So deep, so total, it bordered on the obscene.
Regulus clenched his jaw and crossed the threshold alone.
Orion stood near the fireplace, spine stiff, shoulders locked, a half-empty glass of firewhisky dangling from his fingers as if it were part of him. He looked like a painting left too long in damp air—faded, cracked, and slowly rotting at the edges.
The moment Regulus entered, his father’s gaze snapped toward him—sharp, sunken, hollowed out by years of bitterness, disappointment, and obsessive control. That look had once frozen him mid-breath. Now it barely registered.
Regulus met it without flinching.
“You took your time,” Orion said coolly, voice like a blade slid across velvet. The words rolled from his tongue as if rehearsed.
Regulus didn’t answer. He didn’t bow, didn’t flinch, didn’t even blink. He crossed the threshold with the slow, unhurried gait of someone who no longer cared to perform obedience, his gaze fixed not on the fire, nor the room, but directly, deliberately, on the man who had fashioned him in his own image, then cast him aside the moment he cracked the mold.
Orion turned to face him fully, a calculated motion.
“You’ve made quite the impression,” he said. “There are whispers, already. Mulciber’s afraid of you. Even the Lestranges are watching.” He said it like a compliment, like a badge of honour he could pin to Regulus’s chest and claim for himself.
Regulus cocked his head, gaze distant and glacial. “Is that supposed to impress me?” he asked, the words slow and surgical, meant to wound.
Orion’s laugh came low and bitter, like something curdled in his throat. “You’ve become so fucking arrogant.”
Regulus smiled—sharp and humourless. “I learned from the best.”
The silence that followed stretched long and taut, thick with years of unspoken accusations. Then, with the exaggerated weight of a man trying to seem calm, Orion placed his glass on the mantel. The clink echoed through the hollow room like a gunshot.
“You don’t belong here,” he said, voice dropping into something more insidious. “You don’t belong down in the dirt with them. You’re a Black. The heir of a sacred family. You weren’t built for cages and theatrics. You’re meant for legacy.”
Regulus’s lip curled, just slightly. “Is that what you call it now? Legacy? I call it rot with a crest stamped on it.”
Orion didn’t flinch. “Call it what you like. The world is changing, and it will not wait for your morality to catch up. You can either carve your place into it, or you can be forgotten like the rest of the bleeding-heart fools who clung to their virtue and died with nothing.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes, a slow, deliberate movement. “What do you want from me, Father?” he asked, the final word soaked in mockery, like venom on his tongue.
“I’m offering you redemption.”
Regulus laughed softly—bitter, incredulous. “I didn’t know I needed saving.”
“You were lost,” Orion said. “But you’ve found your place again. The Dark Lord sees that. He sees potential. You’re valuable. You’re the only one who’s ever had the discipline to carry the Black name properly. And he’s interested.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Interested in what? My soul? My wand?”
“Your loyalty,” Orion said, stepping forward now, voice low and persuasive. “He knows what you can become. He knows what you already are. You come back to us. Take the Mark, willingly, not out of obligation, but purpose. And everything will fall into place. Your seat at the table. I can make it happen.”
Regulus watched, like a wolf watching a snake try to shed its skin. There was always a price. With Orion Black, there was always a price written in blood and silence.
“What’s the cost of this generous offer?” Regulus asked. His voice was flat, dull as a rusted blade, but beneath the surface, it trembled with something dangerous.
Orion didn’t blink.
“Sirius.”
The name dropped like lead between them. The floor might as well have cracked.
“…What?”
Orion stepped closer.
“Your brother is a stain. He has defiled the family name. He betrayed us, spat on his blood. He made his choice, and he chose shame. You want your place? Earn it. Kill him.”
Silence. Long and still, the kind of quiet that comes just before something cracks.
Then Regulus stepped forward, slow, poised, like a man descending into a grave of his own making.
“You think murdering Sirius would prove I’m yours?” he said, voice rising, serrated. “You think that killing the only person in this world who once made me feel like a person makes me loyal?”
“He was never your brother,” Orion snarled. “He was a mistake. He was a traitor. And he made you weak.”
Regulus laughed.
It was not a sound of mirth, but a bark of disbelief, tinged with something almost gleeful, like a man who finally embraced madness.
“No,” Regulus hissed, stepping closer, eyes burning now. “You and Mother made me weak. With your cowardice. Your pathetic obsession with dead names and blood purity. Your desperate scrambling for the power you were never brave enough to seize. You built a house out of bones and lies and expected us to kneel inside it.”
Orion went pale—stark and sickly under the flickering firelight.
“I stayed,” Regulus said, voice a crescendo now, shaking with fury barely held in check. “I fought. I bled. I sold pieces of myself for a name I didn’t fucking choose. And yes, Sirius left. I hated him for it, but at least he had the fucking spine to live.”
The blow came without magic—without warning.
The knife flashed in the dim firelight, a sudden streak of silver, and pain bloomed sharp across Regulus’ cheek, hot and blinding. He stumbled back a step, hand flying to his face, blood pouring between his fingers in thick, angry rivulets.
But he didn’t cry out.
Instead, he stood straighter. Slowly. Deliberately. Like something waking inside him. Something old and starved and sick of chains.
He pulled his hand away slowly, blood smeared down his palm, dripping down the line of his throat like war paint. His lip curled.
And then, with all the theatrical venom of a son who has decided his father is no longer a god, Regulus spat a mouthful of blood at Orion’s feet.
“Sirius has a better aim than you,” he said, voice a rasping growl. “Maybe next time, use your wand, you coward.”
Orion’s face twisted into something monstrous. His lip curled back, his nostrils flared, and in one fluid motion, his wand was in his hand, drawn like a blade.
“You wretched little—”
But Regulus was already moving forward, not away. Toward him.
“Oh, what’s wrong?” Regulus snarled, voice hoarse and shaking with fury. “Too used to hexing from a distance? That's what being a ‘head of the noble House of Black’ means now? Cutting your own son like a butcher and hiding behind blood oaths like a fucking coward?”
Orion’s jaw clenched.
“You want to talk about blood?” Regulus went on, voice rising into something almost hysterical, something wild and cracked and savage. “You want to talk about legacy? All this family ever did was consume itself. You fed on fear like wolves behind a locked room and then screamed betrayal when one of us tried to leave!”
He stepped closer again, heedless of the wand pointed at him.
“I hated this family,” he spat. “Every fucking second I spent under your roof was like drowning. And her—her—that shrieking banshee you married—do you know what the happiest moment of my life was?”
Orion’s grip on his wand tightened.
“It was knowing she was dead.” Regulus was nearly shouting now, trembling with fury, his teeth bared in a blood-slicked snarl. “I hope she died screaming. I hope she begged for help, and no one came. I hope her last breath was as bitter and vile as every word she ever spat into my ear.”
Orion’s face went dead.
His voice came low and poisonous.
“Cruc—”
“Enough.”
The voice cut cleanly through the room, crisp and cold as ice cracking across a frozen lake. The spell never landed.
Narcissa stood in the doorway, her silhouette haloed in shadow, and her voice held no warmth, only authority sharp enough to bleed.
“He’s important,” she said, eyes flicking once to Orion with the cool disdain of someone addressing a rabid dog. “The Dark Lord has plans for him. And you know it.”
Orion’s chest rose and fell in great, furious heaves, his nostrils flaring with the barely restrained wrath of a creature too proud to back down, yet too broken to win. His eyes, wild and bloodshot, locked onto Regulus with a hatred so old it had calcified into instinct.
For a single breathless moment, Regulus thought the man might strike anyway. That he would abandon Voldemort’s orders, cast aside the leash of obedience, and give in to the pure, ancestral rage that had always simmered beneath his polished mask of control. That he would ignore the weight of consequence, ignore Narcissa’s voice, ignore everything but his ancient need to dominate what he had created and failed to understand.
But then, slowly, the tension in Orion’s arm dissolved and dipped the wand slightly.
“You’ll regret this,” Orion said at last, his voice a guttural thing scraped raw with fury and humiliation. “One day, when everything falls apart, you’ll remember this moment and wish you'd obeyed.”
His words came not as a threat, but as a curse, spat from behind clenched teeth.
Narcissa stepped in then, fully now, placing herself like a drawn line between them.
“You should leave,” she said, each syllable clipped and tight, her voice a silken noose around the moment’s throat.
Regulus said nothing. There was no need. Words were for those who still cared to explain themselves.
He turned without hesitation, blood still seeping in lazy rivulets from the gash across his cheek, fire still pulsing beneath his skin like a second heartbeat. He did not look back.
By the time Regulus reached the top of the tower, the wound carved into his cheek was still weeping blood, the thick warmth of it trailing down his jaw and staining his clothes. He made no effort to wipe it away. He was used to bleed for the Black name.
The room was dimly lit, the fire in the grate reduced to a low, sullen glow that cast long, flickering shadows across the walls. The others were scattered about, claiming space: Sirius reclined on a battered sofa, the book on his chest forgotten, spine cracked and pages curling; Remus sat perched on the windowsill, his silhouette blurred by tendrils of smoke curling from the cigarette in his fingers; James paced in a tight, restless circuit, his shoulders drawn taut with worry.
Regulus hadn’t even crossed the threshold fully before all three of them froze, like predators catching the scent of blood on the wind.
“Regulus?” James was the first to speak, his voice quiet, unguarded, the single word suspended in the stillness of the room.
But Regulus didn’t stop, even if his traitorous heart clenched at his voice. He kept moving forward, past the fire, past the others, past the way Sirius suddenly sat up like a rope pulled tight — eyes wide and mouth parting with something dangerously close to concern.
He needed to pretend. Pretend none of them were real. Pretend it was another cut, another bruise, another punishment to be scrubbed clean in silence. Barty had peeled worse from his ribs without flinching.
“What did he do to you?” Sirius asked, the sound stripped of pride and heavy with something ragged and raw.
Regulus’s jaw clenched, the muscles ticking. Still, he did not break stride.
James stepped into his path, his hand rising in a hesitant, almost instinctual gesture, as though he meant to stop him, but Regulus froze, voice low and honed to a lethal edge.
“Don’t.”
The word landed like a curse. James stopped, his hand still half-raised, stunned by the sheer force of it.
“I just—” he stuttered.
“Reggie,” Sirius cut in, voice quiet, like he was trying to soothe a creature too close to the edge.
Regulus turned sharply, eyes glittering in the firelight, full of a rage too old to name.
“Reggie?” he repeated, the nickname twisting in his mouth like something foul. “Now I’m Reggie to you?”
Sirius froze, like someone had slapped him.
“We just want to—”
“What?” Regulus’s voice cracked open now, no longer sharp but wide and cavernous, a void in its own right. He turned fully to face him, fists clenched at his sides. “What exactly do you want, Sirius? What could you possibly want from me? Hm? A hug? A good cry about how hard it’s all been for you? Maybe a dramatic reunion so you can feel like a hero again?”
Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but said nothing.
Regulus advanced now, fists clenched tight at his sides. His voice trembled.
“Do you want forgiveness? Is that it?” Regulus snarled. “Do you want absolution for the way you ran away and left me with them? You want me to say it’s all fine now, that I understand? That I’m grateful you made it out?”
“I want to know what the fuck is going on!” Sirius snapped, stepping closer, his posture defensive and raw. “You show up covered in blood, acting like we’re the enemy, and won’t say a word about what just happened—what did he do to you?”
Regulus’s laugh was quiet — short and bitter, like a knife drawn quick across stone.
“Does it matter?” he hissed. “Would it ever matter, coming from me? I was always the casualty you could afford to ignore, wasn't I?”
Sirius flinched like the words had weight, and maybe they did.
“I was sixteen! I was a fucking kid trying not to get beaten into becoming something I hated! You don’t get to hold that over me like I had a choice.”
“And what the fuck do you think I was?” Regulus shouted, stepping forward now with a heat that burned through the walls he’d spent years building. “Do you think I got a pass because I stayed? “Do you think I was a grown man with a plan and a spine and all the answers? Do you think I got out by staying? Do you think I had a choice?”
That stopped him.
Sirius’s expression shifted, something uncertain flickering beneath the familiar arrogance, something old and frightened and real.
Regulus’s breath came fast now, shallow and sharp, but his voice didn’t shake. Not anymore.
“You left me in that house,” he said viciously. “With him. With her. With all of their twisted little games and expectations. You walked away, and in doing so, you made me their heir in every way that mattered. You think I wanted that? That I didn’t dream of following you out into the world and never looking back? But someone had to stay. Someone had to take the weight of the name. Someone had to suffer for it. They wanted me to take it! The Mark that was supposed to be yours, Sirius!”
“I didn’t know,” Sirius said, and there was no bite left in it now. Only guilt. “I didn’t know it would be you.”
Regulus didn’t soften.
“No,” he said. “You didn’t want to know.”
He didn’t wait for a response—what answer could possibly matter now, what explanation could dull the weight of what had already happened?
“He said there was a way out of the trials,” Regulus murmured, his voice quiet but taut, as if each word were dragging itself from somewhere deep and bitter and hollow, trembling at the edges. “He said that if I wanted my freedom, if I wanted to prove myself once and for all, all I had to do was kill you.”
Across the room, Sirius paled, the colour draining from his face so swiftly it looked as if something inside him had been unplugged. James stood motionless, lips parted in disbelief. Remus didn’t speak, didn’t breathe, didn’t so much as blink.
“So yes, Sirius,” Regulus went on, voice dropping lower, “I’m such a vile, twisted, pathetic little brother that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill you.”
Sirius flinched as if struck, his hands curling into tight, white-knuckled fists at his sides, his expression stricken, fractured.
“He told you to—he actually asked you to—” Sirius began, his voice thin, breaking under the weight of it.
“You think he gifted me this charming little cut out of nostalgia?” Regulus snapped, jabbing a finger toward the gash along his cheek, blood still smeared and drying. “You think he just wanted to talk? He used that stupid Goblin-forged blade he inherited from Grandfather. The one Mother kept locked in the cabinet like it was sacred. I guess it was time to bleed for my name again.”
“You could’ve said yes,” Sirius whispered, almost too softly to hear, but not softly enough. Across the room, Remus turned sharply, his eyes blazing, but said nothing.
Regulus scoffed, the sound dry and hollow.
“I bet you would’ve taken the deal,” he said, bitterly. “You were always good at choosing yourself. But I didn’t. Because no matter how many unspeakable things I’ve done, how many compromises I’ve made just to survive long enough to see another morning, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t kill you.”
He turned then, as if the effort of looking his brother in the eye had become too much, his gaze dropping to the dying fire.
“When you left,” he said, the words slower now, as though each one carried the weight of years, of wounds that never healed clean, “I told myself it didn’t matter. I told myself I was better off without you, that I didn’t need you, that I didn’t even want to remember you.”
He paused. Swallowed.
“But standing there,” he said finally, “listening to him speak like I was a chess piece to be bartered or broken, I remembered things I shouldn’t have. I remembered you sneaking me sweets under the table when Mother wasn’t looking. I remembered you hiding Father’s cane after one of his moods, slipping it behind the old wardrobe. I remembered you sneaking into my bed when the storms got too loud and telling me those ridiculous stories you made up on the spot just to keep me from crying.”
He turned back to Sirius now, and the expression on his face was no longer cold, no longer angry. It was ruined.
“So, I said no,” Regulus continued, the words nearly breaking in his throat. “And for that, he cut me like I was nothing more than meat. And when I still didn’t kneel, he raised his wand. He would’ve tortured me for hours, probably. If Cissa hadn’t stepped in, he would’ve made sure I remembered what defiance costs.”
James looked like he wanted to throw something. His fists were clenched, shaking with restrained fury. Remus turned half away, one hand over his mouth like he might be sick.
Sirius stood frozen in place, wide-eyed and pale, staring at Regulus.
Regulus gave a breath that sounded almost like a laugh but wasn’t.
“Funny, isn’t it?” he said, softly. “How nothing really changes, no matter how much time passes. Still the same family, still the same rules. Still the same father with the same blade.”
“Regulus…” Sirius whispered, voice breaking around the word. He took a small step forward.
Regulus recoiled at it, his face twisting, his voice sharp and immediate, like a slap.
“Don’t you dare pity me. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to look at me like I’m the ghost of someone you forgot to bury. You gave up that right the second you walked out of that house and never once looked back.”
“I didn’t know they would turn you into this,” Sirius said, eyes wet now, voice trembling.
Regulus went still. He tilted his head.
“Into what, Sirius?” he asked softly. Dangerously. “Into what, exactly?”
Sirius swallowed.
Regulus took one slow, deliberate step forward. His voice dropped to a whisper.
“Say it. Say what you see when you look at me. Say it out loud.”
Sirius opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Didn’t say a word.
Regulus smiled again, small and shattered.
“That’s what I thought.”
The door creaked open with a long, dragging groan, and it was Barty who emerged first, the edge of his silhouette sharp as a blade in the flickering firelight, his gaze sweeping the room like a madman.
“Reg—” he breathed, and the name came out like a half-swallowed curse, urgent and furious, before his eyes locked on the blood-slick gash slicing down Regulus’s cheek. “Fucking hell, what did he do to you?”
He crossed the room in three swift strides, his posture wound tight like a spell about to snap, fury etched into every muscle.
Behind him, Evan stepped through the threshold more slowly, more cautiously, as if sensing already that the air was brittle with something dangerous. He didn’t speak immediately; he rarely did when it mattered most, but his gaze roved over Regulus with silent precision, taking in every fracture, every wound, every telltale twitch of pain and restraint. The tremble in Regulus’s fingers didn’t escape him, nor did the subtle way his weight leaned ever so slightly to one side, like something inside had been knocked loose and barely reset.
“Reggie,” Evan said softly at last, and the way the name cracked on his tongue made something twist in the room. Regulus looked at him then, and there was something unguarded in his eyes. A flicker of something raw. Something young. Like the briefest glimpse of a boy who’d long ago stopped believing that kindness could be anything more than a trap.
“Come,” Evan murmured, stepping closer, his voice a balm over open wounds. He reached out and took Regulus’s hand with a gentleness so deliberate it was heartbreaking.
And Regulus didn’t resist. His fingers tightened around Evan’s without thought or ceremony, an instinctive, desperate kind of grasp, the kind that says please, don’t let me shatter. Not here.
“Oh, of course,” came Sirius’s voice, sharp as splinters, soaked in the old poison of wounds that never scabbed clean. “You’ll take their help. But me? I reach out, and you spit in my face. You pretend I’m not even standing here.”
Regulus stopped mid-step.
His spine straightened with a mechanical stillness, and he turned to face his brother with a slowness that was far more terrifying than rage. The silence stretched, heavy, electrified, and then, it snapped.
“They’ve been more of a family to me than you ever were!” Regulus shouted, the words exploding from his chest like a curse torn loose.
“You never wrote,” Sirius said, his voice shaking. “You never wrote me back. Not once. Not even when I begged.”
“I was being watched!” Regulus barked. “Every owl I send could’ve gotten someone killed! And you—you were off playing house with the Potters and pretending none of it was real anymore. I didn’t have that luxury, Sirius. I had a price. And I paid it.”
Sirius’s voice dropped, low and broken. “I thought about you every day.”
Regulus laughed. There was no joy in it. It was hollow, mocking.
“Yeah? Then where the fuck were you?”
Sirius stepped forward like he was going to close the gap. But Evan moved subtly, not threatening, not overt, just enough to remind him that the space belonged to someone else now. That Regulus was already spoken for.
Regulus didn’t move.
“If it weren’t for them, I’d be dead. I’d be rotting at the bottom of the fucking sea with my ribs caved in and saltwater in my lungs. You don’t know shit, Sirius. You have no fucking idea what I’ve had to survive, what I’ve had to endure, just to stay alive long enough to breathe another fucking day—what I had to do to—”
“Regulus.” Evan’s voice cut gently across his fury. A single word and it was enough.
Regulus blinked, jaw locked tight, his body trembling with restraint, and then he gave a single nod, curt and mechanical, and he let Evan guide him away without protest, their footsteps echoing down the corridor. The door closed behind them with a final-sounding click.
But Barty stayed behind.
He didn’t move right away. He stood there, at the centre of the storm Regulus had left in his wake, and when he turned, it was slow, deliberate, the controlled violence of someone who knew exactly how much power he held and wasn’t afraid to wield it.
His eyes found Sirius immediately.
“I’m not going to pretend for your sake,” he said, his voice low, calm, and dangerous in its precision. “I won’t sugarcoat a single fucking syllable for you, Black. Because frankly? I don’t care if you hate me. You’ve never mattered to me.”
Sirius’s eyes narrowed, lips parting with the beginning of a retort, but Barty cut him down with a single step forward and a flicker of something deadly behind his gaze.
“But Regulus?” Barty continued, voice dropping into something cold. “That’s where I draw the fucking line.”
He paused, the silence sharp.
“You don’t know what he’s been through. You don’t know how many nights Evan and I sat up in silence, taking shifts just to make sure he didn’t bleed out in a bathtub or throw himself off the Astronomy Tower. You don’t know how many times he came home with his ribs shattered, his hands trembling because he’d been holding his wand so tight all night, afraid that if he let go, he’d never pick it up again. And do you know why you don’t know?”
Barty tilted his head, lips curling in disgust.
“Because you never cared enough to ask. Because you wrote him off the second it became convenient. Just like the rest of your family. You left him behind and never looked back.”
Sirius’s chest rose and fell in a sharp, angry rhythm, but Barty wasn’t finished, not even close.
“You know what he said to me once? Right after you left him?” Barty murmured then, quieter now, like the words were something sacred he wasn’t sure he wanted to share. “He said, ‘If I die, will he care?’”
The silence in the room turned cavernous.
Across the room, James looked like he’d been struck
Sirius closed his eyes.
“He was a child,” Barty hissed. “And you let him bleed.”
“I thought I was helping,” Sirius whispered. “I thought if I left, I’d—”
“You left him,” Barty snapped. “And he never stopped waiting for you to come back.”
His voice dropped again, colder now.
“I don’t give a shit about your grudge, or your trauma, or how many daddy issues are still clawing at your spine. This isn’t about you. It hasn’t been about you for a long fucking time.”
Across the room, Remus stood stone-still, his jaw clenched so tight it looked like it might snap.
“I’ll say this once, and only once,” Barty finished, stepping close enough that Sirius could see the glimmer of threat in his eyes.
“Unless you’ve got something good and honest to say to Regulus that isn’t soaked in your own self-loathing, keep. Your. Fucking. Distance.”
He didn’t wait for a reply.
He turned and walked out, slamming the door so hard behind him that the walls rattled.
And then the only sound that remained was the crackling of the dying fire, the low moan of wind clawing at the windowpanes, and the shattered, uneven breathing of the people left behind, each of them holding pieces of a story none of them had ever truly understood.
Evan didn’t speak as he led Regulus down the dim corridor, his hand holding his, as if he feared that if he let go, even for the briefest breath, Regulus might fragment into something unrecognizable and irretrievable right there. His touch was steady, not restraining but anchoring, a quiet reminder that someone was still there, still holding on, even when everything else felt like it was slipping away.
Regulus’s breath came shallow and quick, pulled from lungs that felt too tight, too full of fire and frost all at once. The rage still simmered low in his belly, molten and clinging, but now it had been swallowed partially by a creeping numbness that began at the fingertips and curled slowly inward.
They reached his room, and Evan pushed the door open with his shoulder, the old hinges groaning in protest. Evan said nothing as he ushered him inside, and when the door clicked softly shut behind them, the silence felt dense.
“I’m fine,” Regulus muttered without conviction, eyes fixed somewhere near the floorboards as Evan moved across the room to draw the lamp closer, the little flame inside shuddering in its glass.
“It’s just a scratch.”
“Don’t do that.” Evan’s voice was calm, but there was an edge beneath it. “Don’t lie to me like I’m one of them.”
Regulus turned his face away sharply, jaw clenching hard enough that his teeth ached. “I don’t need—”
“You’re bleeding,” Evan interrupted, a quiet reminder, not an accusation.
“I said I don’t need—”
But Evan was already moving, already reaching toward the cloth left folded neatly on the nearby table. He had the steady insistence of someone who had cleaned blood from his wounds before, someone who knew where the fractures ran even when they weren’t visible on the surface. He reached for Regulus’ chin and tilted his face toward the flickering light.
The gash along Regulus’s cheek looked worse now, angrier in the golden glow, red and swollen and still weeping in places. It was a deliberate thing, cruel in its precision, as though someone had carved it not merely to hurt but to mark.
“Let me clean it,” Evan said softly, his voice stripped of everything except tired devotion. He was already reaching for the cloth, already preparing the potion, already ready to do what needed doing.
“No.” The word came out harsher than Regulus intended, and his hand lashed out before thought could catch up with instinct, knocking Evan’s away. “Just—leave it. I’m not in the mood to be coddled.”
Evan froze.
The silence that followed was brittle, like a thread pulled too tight, seconds from snapping. His hand, still curled around the rag, went white at the knuckles, and for a breath, it looked like he might argue, might let the frustration and heartbreak spill out in the form of words sharpened by exhaustion.
But he didn’t.
He only inhaled slowly, exhaled even slower, and took a single step back.
“You don’t want help,” he said, his voice low, level, painfully steady. “Fine. But don’t lie to yourself and pretend this doesn’t hurt. You’re not made of stone, Regulus.”
He didn’t wait for a reply. He didn’t need one.
Regulus sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, bones feeling too brittle for his own skin, shoulders collapsing inward as though he were folding himself around some unseen wound. He dropped his elbows to his knees and buried his fingers in his hair, clutching at his scalp like he was trying to hold his thoughts inside before they shattered outward into something uncontainable.
He didn’t look up when he heard the door open.
He didn’t flinch when it clicked shut again behind Evan, gentle and final.
And when the silence came again, true and deep and full of all the things left unsaid, Regulus simply sat there, trying to breathe through the wreckage in his chest, the knot in his throat, and the quiet truth he could never quite outrun: that shutting himself away was easier than being seen.
Even by the ones who loved him.
Chapter 11: Revelation
Summary:
Apologies for the energy created in the studios today😞 I listened to too much Deftones, and it may have permanently altered my brain chemistry
If you made it this far, hi, hello, thank you, you’re amazing! 🖤
Whether it’s a full essay or just screaming in the comments, I am really curious to know what you think so far!
Notes:
SYML- The war
Tamer- Beautiful Crime
Deftones- Cherry Waves
Deftones- Tempest
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The door just slammed behind them with a hollow bang when Sirius started to pace the length of the dorm. James stood still, arms crossed over his chest, watching him with something between disappointment and exhaustion.
“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him,” Sirius spat, turning sharply.
James didn’t respond right away. He kept his voice level, hands still. “Maybe he didn’t want an audience while trying not to fall apart.”
Sirius stopped mid-step, like he hadn’t expected an answer that didn’t come laced with sarcasm.
James went on, slow and calm. “You’re lashing out at him like he’s the enemy. He’s not, Sirius.”
Sirius scoffed, running a hand through his hair with a frustrated shake.
“He’s still your brother,” James said evenly. “Either you like it, or not.”
“That never meant anything in our house,” Sirius snapped, too fast, too reflexive. “It was just a word.”
James’ jaw flexed. “Maybe. But it means something to him. More than you realise.”
Sirius laughed bitterly. “You’re defending him now? After everything? After you nearly died because of him?”
“I ran into that ambush because I was reckless. Not because of Regulus. I’m just saying now isn’t the time to rip him to shreds because you’re too proud to admit that you still care.”
Sirius’ eyes snapped up, storm-dark and wild. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t stand there and act like you get it,” Sirius said, stepping forward. “You didn’t grow up in that house. You didn’t see what it did to him. To me. You didn’t watch our mother tear us apart for being too soft or our father knock the wind out of us just for breathing wrong. You didn’t have to leave him behind.”
James didn’t flinch. But his voice lost its calm.
“No,” James said, voice flat and quiet now. “But I watched it eat you alive. Every year. Every fucking night you woke up screaming his name and begged me not to tell anyone. I’ve seen you bleed for that house, Sirius, in ways I don’t think even you understand anymore.”
That stopped Sirius cold.
James took a step closer, lowering his voice like he didn’t want to spook him. “You think I don’t see it every time you look at him like he’s someone you failed to save? You try to act like you don’t care, but you do, Sirius. And is eating you alive.”
“You don’t understand—,” Sirius said, but it came out hoarse, a lie trembling on the edge of belief.
James didn’t let up.
“You hate him because you hate yourself,” he said simply. “Because you left, and he stayed, and you can’t stand the fact that neither of you made it out whole.”
Sirius’ expression twisted, something close to hurt flickering across his face, and James hated himself for it.
“You think I don’t know that?” Sirius said, quieter now, but no less raw. His hands clenched at his sides, shoulders rigid, his voice breaking around the edges. “You think I don’t lie awake every night wondering if I left him for dead? If maybe, just maybe, I was the one who handed him over to them?”
James didn’t move. He didn’t speak. Because finally—finally—Sirius was saying the things he never let himself say. The things he buried beneath anger and arrogance and sharp, flippant words meant to deflect before anyone ever got too close to the truth.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I got out, he’d follow,” Sirius whispered, the edge of his voice cracking. “But he didn’t. He stayed. And I told myself that he chose them.”
“He didn’t,” James said softly.
Sirius looked at him, eyes burning with a guilt so heavy it had nowhere left to go.
“I know that now,” he said. “And that’s the worst fucking part. Because I still left him. I left him in that house. With them. And he paid for both of us. Every punishment, every curse meant for me, he took. And I just kept going like he didn’t exist.”
James’ mouth was tight, jaw flexing. He stepped closer, slowly, like one wrong word might shatter whatever thin thread was holding Sirius together.
“You were a kid,” James said gently. “You did what you thought was right.”
“Yeah, and I left him to drown,” Sirius spat, his voice suddenly venomous again, but this time the poison was self-directed.
James exhaled slowly, the firelight flickering behind him, casting long shadows on the walls. “You can’t keep punishing yourself for that.”
“I have to!” Sirius shouted, loud enough that James flinched. “Because if I don’t…if I forgive myself…then what the fuck was it all for? All those years of silence, all that hatred… What if I was just wrong?”
James’ throat tightened. He stepped closer still, until there was barely a breath of air between them.
“You weren’t wrong to save yourself,” he said, and his voice was low and firm and unbearably kind. “But you are wrong if you think Regulus doesn’t still need his brother.”
Sirius turned away, teeth gritted. “He hates me.”
“He was told to kill you and refused to do it. If that’s hate, it’s the strangest I’ve ever seen.”
Sirius’ laugh was sharp, broken. “You’re bloody poetic, you know that?”
“Sometimes,” James said, allowing a tired smile to crack through. “But I’m also right. You and I both know it.”
There was silence then, a heavy, sprawling silence that stretched like old scars. James watched his best friend’s profile, the way his eyes seemed to dull under the weight of years neither of them had ever spoken aloud.
They had been boys when this started. Boys with dreams and snide jokes and nothing but time ahead of them.
Now all they had were ghosts.
Sirius finally turned to him, and something in his face cracked open. “Do you think I ruined it?”
James blinked, startled by the crack in his voice. “Ruined what?”
“Us,” he said, quietly. “Me and him. Me and… all of it.”
James looked at him, and for once didn’t rush to answer. He just looked. At the lines around Sirius’ mouth, the dark circles under his eyes, the bitter twist in his smile that hadn’t been there when they were sixteen.
Then, slowly, he stepped forward and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“I think,” James said, “it’s not too late. Not unless you keep pretending you don’t care. Not unless you keep pushing him away.”
Sirius didn’t respond for a long moment. But then, just barely, he nodded.
“I am trying,” he said. “I just… I don’t know how to be his brother anymore.”
James’ voice was barely a whisper. “Maybe start with just being there.”
Sirius let out a hollow breath — not quite a sigh, not quite a laugh. “You make it sound so fucking simple.”
“It’s not,” James admitted. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.”
Still, Sirius didn’t answer. His eyes flicked to the fire again, distant and unreadable, and James didn’t push.
And James felt it then — not just the ache in Sirius, but in himself too. The ache of all the people they couldn’t save. Of the time they couldn’t rewind. Of the children they used to be, thinking the world would wait until they were ready to carry it. He sighed, letting his hand fall from Sirius’ shoulder.
“I’m going to get some air,” he said, stepping back toward the door. “Don’t wait up.”
Sirius gave the barest nod. No words. No snide remark. Just a silence that somehow sounded like thank you.
The common room was completely empty.
James stepped forward, his boots dragging slightly over the worn rug, and dropped into the nearest armchair with a tired sort of gracelessness. His limbs sprawled out like he’d been hollowed from the inside, but his body wouldn’t stop moving — one leg bounced with anxious energy, tapping out some rhythm only he could hear.
It was ridiculous, really, how easily Regulus’ name burned in his chest.
Not Reggie. Not Black. Not the sharp-tongued brat he used to spar with in the corridors.
No. That name had shifted. It had bent under pressure, reshaped itself somewhere along the way, between blood-stained snow and breaths shared in silence behind enemy lines. Between unspoken pain and moments too delicate to survive the light of day.
James let his eyes drift shut, the breath easing from his lungs as his head lolled back against the worn cushion. There was no point fighting it anymore—the memory always found him eventually. And tonight, like a ghost too old for exorcism, it crept in again.
He remembered everything. Not just the sequence of events, but the feeling of them. The scent of magical residue in the air. The burn of adrenaline in his throat. The silence before the world fell apart when seconds stretched to hours in the space between two held breaths.
No one else knew what happened. Not Sirius, not Remus, not even Lily — and she could read him better than anyone. He’d never told them. Couldn’t. That night had become its own kind of secret. Something sacred. Something broken. Something sealed shut with blood and silence and a thousand things they never had the courage, or the luxury, to name.
It had belonged to just the two of them.
James and Regulus.
Sworn enemies. Reluctant allies.
It had been shortly after the Nottingham massacre — one of the darkest chapters in a war already heavy with blood. The kind of senseless violence that left even the survivors looking like ghosts, half-there and half-hollowed out. The Order had been unravelling at the edges then, barely holding itself together, trust eroding like paper in the rain. It was a time when people started looking twice at shadows — at allies, at friends, at themselves — as if even their own reflections might lie to them.
James had been sent out alone. Dumbledore had called it necessary — a quiet assignment, simple reconnaissance. No confrontation. No theatrics. Just observe, report, and return.
But plans like that were made for worlds that hadn’t gone mad.
James had known it was a trap the second he Apparated. He’d barely made it past the ruins of what used to be an apothecary before curses started tearing apart the air around him. It was instinct that threw him behind a collapsed wall. Not training. Not bravery. Just sheer, unrefined panic. Brick dust filled his lungs, the sharp tang of burning wood clung to his skin, and the world had narrowed to flashes of green and red lighting up the night.
He remembered thinking So this is it, then. This is how it ends. Not in glory. Not in some noble way. Just crumpled behind a wall, alone, bleeding, and forgotten.
And then, out of the chaos, he appeared.
Regulus.
Stepping through the smoke and flame like something conjured from the deepest corners of James’ memory. The black cloak, the hard-set jaw, the impossibly composed expression, all of it so sharply familiar that James’ mind couldn’t make sense of it at first.
For a single, frozen second, their eyes met, and James felt his world tilt sideways.
It wasn’t just recognition. It was a disruption.
Because the boy standing there wasn’t the cold-eyed Slytherin he’d known from Hogwarts’ days. Wasn’t the spoiled, sneering brother of Sirius who'd spent his youth lobbing cruel words like knives in the dark.
No. This Regulus was something else entirely.
There was still that Black arrogance in the angles of his posture, yes, but it had been warped, dulled into something heavier. A kind of haunted resolve that didn’t belong to boys their age. The boy who had once paraded himself like royalty was gone. In his place stood a soldier.
And James… didn’t know how to feel.
He barely registered the Death Eater lifting his wand behind him. Barely had time to reach for his own before Regulus moved. No hesitation. No words. Just a single, practiced flick of his wrist and an Avada Kedavra so quiet, so cold, it felt almost intimate.
The body dropped with a sickening finality, a dull thud that echoed in James’ bones.
The flash of green light had lit Regulus’ face in a way James would never forget. His skin had looked almost translucent, his green eyes glinting, like the last light of a dying star. His expression betrayed nothing, but his hand, steady and merciless, had sealed something in James that night.
And James… James felt everything all at once.
Relief.
Confusion.
Gratitude.
Something that might’ve been awe.
Something that might’ve been fear.
But above all, what lodged itself in James’ chest, and stayed there, was how achingly beautiful he looked.
Not in the soft, silly way James might’ve described someone in passing. No. This was something else. Something brutal and immediate. The kind of beauty that came wrapped in danger, lit from within by pain. Something you knew you couldn’t hold without bleeding.
Regulus had saved his life, and in doing so, cracked something open in James that he hadn’t known was there to be cracked.
“You saved me,” he had said, the words catching on his tongue, ragged and raw with disbelief. He had stared at Regulus like a fool — like a boy witnessing revelation, as if something sacred had split the sky open and reordered everything he thought he knew.
Regulus had turned toward him, face unreadable, voice flat. “Don’t flatter yourself, Potter.”
And yet, he hadn’t left.
That was the part James still thought about late at night, when the fire had burned low and the silence left no room to hide. Regulus hadn’t left. He had stood there in the dim light of the ruined alleyway, wand clenched in long, pale fingers, as if waiting for James to do something, say something, that might change the course of things.
And James had just… stared. At the sharpness of his jaw, the bruised shadows beneath his eyes, the way his chest rose and fell like breathing was an effort now. James had watched the tension coiled in his shoulders, the way his fingers flexed like they didn’t quite belong to him anymore. He had watched him, and not for the first time.
That was the truth of it — a truth James had buried so deep he’d convinced himself it never happened. But it had. It had.
He’d caught himself looking at Regulus since Hogwarts. Not often. Not openly. Never in ways that could be noticed, mocked, or questioned. But there had been moments. Stolen glances across the library. A second too long in the corridor outside Potions. The faint prickle at the back of his neck when Regulus passed by, that subtle shift in gravity when he entered the Great Hall. James had always told himself it was suspicion. Curiosity, maybe.
That sharp, restless ache of wanting to understand something that refused to be understood. Regulus had always felt like a language James didn’t speak but desperately wanted to. He hated the way his eyes betrayed him, always searching for Regulus in a crowd like some cruel reflex. Hated that Regulus’ silence always seemed louder than most people’s shouting. Hated that he cared so fiercely for someone who never once looked back.
He remembered one afternoon in seventh year, just before Christmas break. Regulus had been alone in the courtyard, snow falling soft and silent around him, a book half-forgotten in his lap like he’d meant to read but hadn’t gotten far. Something about the stillness of him, the quiet pull stopped James mid-step. And for one stupid, reckless second, he’d wanted to sit down beside him. To break the silence. To ask what he was reading, or ask him anything at all, really — anything just to hear him speak.
Because around Regulus, James always felt, in some strange way, like he was starving for something he couldn’t name. Like just brushing against his world might be enough to fill the hollowness clawing at his ribs.
Instead, he’d looked away. Laughed at something Sirius said. Pretended he hadn’t felt it. Pushed it down where it couldn’t make a fool of him.
But the war had stripped everything away. Masks, excuses, illusions of choice. And in that alley, with death pressing in and the air, James had spoken the words he never thought he’d say.
“Come with me,” James had said, voice low. A whisper offered like a lifeline. “You don’t have to go back.”
Regulus had laughed. It was a broken sound, sharp and brittle, halfway between a chuckle and a cry. His head shook slowly, a tired motion, like he’d lived a thousand lifetimes already and all ended the same.
“It’s too late for that, James,” he’d murmured, and in that moment, James had known the truth. Whatever line Regulus had crossed, he had done so willingly. Not without regret, but with acceptance.
And then, without another word, without a touch or even a farewell glance, he had disappeared into the shadows from which he came.
The next morning, the news came, and Regulus Black was dead. Just another name on a growing list of war’s casualties.
But James had never quite believed it. Not entirely.
They said he drowned. They said he’d disappeared. They said the Dark Lord had found out something and punished him accordingly.
James had felt the words like knives carving into bone.
He remembered Sirius breaking the news with a tight voice and blank eyes, all brittle and fury and haunted silence.
But James didn’t mourn.
He left.
He told them that he needed answers. That he owed it to Sirius to chase every whisper and shadow, to search the edges of the war for even the smallest proof that Regulus Black wasn’t truly gone. He swore it was loyalty. Brotherhood. That he just wanted his best friend whole again.
But it was a big, shameful lie.
Because James wasn’t running from Sirius’ grief. He was running from his own.
From the unbearable truth that there could have been something between him and Regulus—something fragile and flickering and entirely unspoken. Something that never made it into words because James had never dared to give it shape.
It hadn’t been love, at least not in any way James understood it at the time. It had been quieter than that. Stranger. A reverence he couldn’t explain, a gravity that pulled at him in moments when Regulus wasn't even looking. A softness in the spaces between their silence. Something holy and wrong and impossible all at once.
And that terrified him more than any Death Eater ever had.
Because he hadn’t known what to do with it. With him. With the sick feeling that he’d never gotten the chance to even try.
And now Regulus was back, and it was too much.
Too much to breathe around. Too much to look at without falling apart. Too much to admit that whatever fragile thread had once pulled them toward each other hadn’t snapped after all.
Frayed, yes. Splintered beyond recognition.
But still there. Still holding.
The thing with James was that he had always been a creature born of heat. Volatile and vivid, all wildfire emotion and reckless instinct, never one to hesitate when the world demanded feeling. He lived in the blaze and thrived in the burn. He wore his heart like a banner and wielded it like a weapon, never afraid to burn for what he loved. Never afraid to be scorched by it.
But whatever smouldering embers had once defined him seemed pale now, compared to the inferno Regulus Black had sparked in him.
And it had started again, terrifyingly and irrevocably, with a single glance.
That day in Hogsmeade, after five years of silence and lies and absence, when he caught sight of Regulus standing there, James knew that this was no longer the boy who had once trailed in Sirius’ wake. Perhaps, if he let himself be honest, it never had been. Not really.
The image seared itself into his mind, refusing to let go. Regulus, bloodied and bruised, but unbroken. Standing tall with that same unnerving stillness, eyes like flint — sharp, unreadable, ancient in a way that made James’ breath catch. Even wounded, there was something lethal in the grace of him. Beautiful and terrifying.
There had been a challenge in his gaze. Cold, feral, and laced with something James didn’t yet have the language for.
Stay away, his blood whispered.
Come closer, his bones replied.
And Merlin help him, James had wanted to surrender.
He remembered the forest. The way Regulus had pressed the blade to his throat with maddening precision, his breath skating across James’ skin, warm and deliberate. Proximity so close it bordered on profanity. Yet, neither of them pulled away. And James—fuck, James had felt it then, felt every molecule of himself tilt toward that blade as if drawn to it, to him, like metal to a magnet. Like he wanted to be cut open. A thrill had run through him then, sharp and electric, a wicked shiver that had nothing to do with fear.
He thought of the moment he’d had Regulus pinned beneath him, bodies taut with tension and something far more dangerous. He remembered the press of muscle, the bite of restraint, the exquisite torment of being so close. He wanted to feel that pulse beneath his fingers. Wanted to watch control slip from Regulus’ composure with the same reverence some men reserved for holy things.
But more than anything, James wanted to consume him.
Not gently. Not kindly. This had nothing to do with love songs or soft-spoken words in the dark
No.
He wanted devastation.
He wanted to tear Regulus open, bare every inch of him, crawl beneath his skin, and stay there. To ruin him in the most sacred sense. To hear his name break on Regulus’ tongue. To take up space in the marrow of him until there was nothing left untouched.
To become something Regulus couldn’t cleanse or forget, no matter how hard he tried.
He had never felt like this before, not even with Lily. What they’d shared had been golden, sunlit, soft around the edges. A love built on comfort and kindness, painted in warm, familiar strokes. Gentle. Safe. The kind you could carry into daylight without shame. The kind parents smiled at. The kind that wore white and spoke in promises.
But this? It was something far darker. Obsession didn’t cover it. Lust was too shallow.
There weren’t words sharp enough, wide enough, to hold what burned in him now.
He shouldn’t want it. He knew that. Every part of him screamed against it — and still, he did.
He wanted Regulus to think of him when no one else was around.
To whisper his name like it was the only thing he could remember.
And God help him, James wanted to be hurt by it.
James wanted to be undone by him.
Torn apart and remade, every jagged piece pressed into place by Regulus’ hands.
Wanted to be broken in ways that felt like devotion.
And maybe the most terrifying part of it all was that he knew it wasn’t one-sided.
At first, he’d thought he was imagining it. That he’d read too much into a glance, a pause, a breath that caught the wrong way. That his own obsession had twisted everything into something it wasn’t. But he saw through the porcelain mask Regulus wore like armour—the practiced coldness, the careful restraint. He noticed the way those lashes fluttered when they locked eyes, the subtle hitch in his breath when James leaned too close, the tension in his jaw, like his body always betrayed him before his mind could lock it down.
Regulus could pretend. Could hide behind disdain, behind bitterness, behind that carefully constructed silence. But James saw the truth.
He saw the tremor. The hesitation. The way Regulus’ mouth parted like he wanted to say something, do something reckless, but couldn’t let himself tip over the edge.
It was real.
God, it was devastatingly real.
And James couldn’t fucking breathe.
Every time Regulus so much as moved, it felt like a knife twisting deeper in James’ gut. Every flick of his gaze, every sigh, every calculated stillness was unbearable. The hunger was ceaseless, chewing at him from the inside, a heat that had nowhere to go.
He wanted to kiss him with violence. Wanted to shove him against the nearest wall and taste the defiance in his mouth, drink down every cruel word until it melted into something softer, something James could claim.
He wanted to fall to his knees and beg. The thought hit him like a punch, wild and raw and terrifying in its honesty.
Beg for a touch. For permission. For mercy.
For him.
Somewhere in the darkest part of himself, James knew that this wasn’t just want. It was ruin. Something unholy and blistering. Something he’d kept locked for so long it had started to hurt. It clawed at his insides every day, hungry and relentless, leaving behind nothing but longing. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself to forget. It didn’t matter that he tried to exorcise it through silence or through duty.
He needed Regulus to touch him, not by accident, not in passing, not as some cruel slip of circumstance, but with intention. With hunger. With the kind of purpose that left no room for doubt. He needed to feel it, needed to be claimed by it, needed Regulus to reach for him like he was something wanted, something necessary. Not like an afterthought. Not like a mistake when their fingers brushed accidentally, only to flinch apart as though the contact burned.
James was so fucking tired of pretending.
Tired of acting like it didn’t devour him, day after day — gnawing through his ribs, setting fire to the softest parts of him. Like he didn’t feel his skin tighten with want every time Regulus walked into a room. Like he didn’t ache with a hunger so sharp it nearly made him sick. He was exhausted from carrying this want like an ever-bleeding wound.
And the truth was unbearable in its simplicity: he dreamed of Regulus’ mouth. He fantasized about it with the kind of vivid, feverish clarity that left him breathless in the early hours of the morning, heart pounding, body aching with unspent desire. He spent entire days haunted by the absence of knowledge—what did he taste like? How did he sound in the dark, when there were no lies left to tell, no masks left to wear? Would he moan his name, whisper it like confession, or like a sin?
He didn’t know, and not knowing was killing him.
And they were running out of time.
Because war didn’t care about longing. It didn’t care about possibilities. It didn’t pause for yearning, didn’t make space for clarity or courage or fucking hope. It could take everything in a single breath, without warning. Without apology. It could steal Regulus from him again, for good this time. And James would be left with nothing but a ghost and a memory and all the things he’d been too much of a coward to say.
He had let him go once.
He wouldn't survive making that mistake again.
So tonight, if Regulus looked at him with even a flicker of the same fire that James had carried for years like a brand scorched into his soul, he would break. Gladly. Willingly. He would fall to his knees and beg for anything Regulus was willing to give him.
He’d plead, if he had to.
He’d strip himself bare — body, heart, everything — and offer up his need like a weapon laid carefully at Regulus’s feet.
Because this wasn’t just an obsession. It wasn’t a crush or a phase or some passing infatuation, no matter how many times James had tried to cage it in reason or bury it beneath silence. No—this was something older, deeper. It was hope masquerading as hunger. It was longing that felt like pain. It was the terrible, beautiful ache of almost—of everything they might have been, everything they still could be, if only Regulus would reach back.
So James made a decision. Or rather, if he were honest, it was less a decision than a surrender. A quiet, inevitable yielding to the ache that had hollowed him out and made its home inside his chest. His body moved before his mind could catch up, driven not by logic, but by something deeper, his heart, perhaps, or the reckless ghost of longing that had haunted him for years.
He moved down the corridor in near silence, the dim glow of torches casting long shadows along the stone walls. He felt strangely alive—as if every nerve had come awake, as if his skin was tuned to some invisible frequency only Regulus could summon.
When he reached his door, he stopped.
It was just a door. Plain, unassuming. Weathered wood framed in iron, no different from a dozen others in this part of the castle.
And yet, to James, it felt monumental.
Like it was holding back a revelation. As though beyond it lay something holy and brutal and terrifying. Something that might finally answer the questions he hadn’t dared to speak aloud.
He stared at it like it might crack open the moment he breathed too loudly.
His hand trembled, only slightly, as he knocked once.
Just once.
The sound was soft, but not hesitant. There was a steadiness to it, a quiet resolve that belied the chaos unfurling inside his chest. He knew that if he let even a flicker of urgency escape into that knock, the fragile thread of this moment might dissolve. Might unravel before it even had a chance to begin.
Then came the silence.
A pause that stretched and pressed at his lungs.
He waited, motionless, caught in that aching stillness—until finally, the faintest sound reached him.
A creak of floorboards.
A shift, almost imperceptible, in the shadows beneath the door.
A murmur of presence that made every nerve in his body tighten.
And then it opened.
Not fully. Not all at once.
Just enough for James to see him.
Regulus.
He stood partially cloaked in shadow, the dim spill of light from the candle behind him giving his skin an ethereal, golden glow. His hair was damp, curling softly against his temples. A single drop of water clung to his jaw, catching the light before slipping down the line of his throat.
He looked unguarded in a way James had never quite seen before.
Those green eyes, clear and cold and impossibly deep, moved slowly over James’ face, lingering just long enough to sting. As though Regulus was trying to decipher why James Potter was standing at his door in the dead of night.
And James forgot everything.
He forgot what he was supposed to say. Forgot the rehearsed lines he’d gone over again and again in his head. Forgot how to breathe without feeling like he might break in half. It all vanished, swept away by the thunderous rush of being this close, of finally standing at the precipice he’d spent years dancing around like a coward.
He was fifteen again, caught in the first cruel tide of longing, all flushed cheeks, clenched fists, and wide, desperate eyes. He was full of too much want and not enough air. The words he had practiced curled up and died on his tongue. Because how could any of them suffice now?
How did you tell someone:
You live under my skin.
You’ve ruined me.
Please, God, let me stay ruined.
How did you say that without sounding mad?
His eyes flickered down at Regulus’ mouth, sharp and unsmiling. The way his hand curled loosely around the edge of the door, long fingers pale in the candlelight.
The small notch at the base of his throat where his pulse ticked visibly. James wanted to press his mouth there, against that pulse, just to feel it. Just to prove to himself that Regulus was real and not a ghost conjured by grief and guilt and need.
The silence stretched between them like a blade, delicate and deadly.
He licked his lips. Swallowed against the tightness in his throat.
“I—” he began, the sound little more than a breath, fragile and half-formed on his tongue. But it broke apart before it could find shape, collapsing in the tightness of his throat as the weight of Regulus’ gaze pinned him in place.
Regulus made no effort to open the door further, nor did he close it. He simply stood there in the narrow sliver of space.
“What do you want?” The words came quietly but sharp, brittle with something unnamed. A wall thrown up before James could cross the threshold.
James lifted his chin, forcing the words past the thundering pulse in his ears. “To see you.”
Regulus let out a breath that sounded like a laugh, but there was no humour in it. It was dry, hollow, edged with disbelief.
“You’ve seen me,” he said, the syllables clipped and cool. “Now go.”
James didn’t budge. “No.”
Just one word, but it landed with the weight of a challenge.
Regulus’ eyes narrowed, lashes casting long shadows on his cheekbones. “Is this supposed to be some Gryffindor thing? Stubbornness as a personality trait?”
James met his gaze head-on, voice low and steady. “Actually, this is a me thing.”
A beat of silence followed in which neither of them moved. The corridor was heavy with the hush of the night pressing close around them. Beyond the stone walls, wind murmured like a warning, and the old castle creaked beneath its age.
And then, finally, without word or gesture, Regulus stepped back. James moved past him, slow and sure, brushing close enough to feel the static roll off Regulus’ skin. He felt him inhale, sharp and shallow. The sound made his stomach knot.
The door shut behind them with a soft click, the sound impossibly loud in the charged silence between them.
James turned to face him and saw that Regulus hadn’t moved far. He lingered near the door, arms crossed in that deceptively casual posture that screamed of tension. His spine was too straight. His hands too still. The candlelight caught on the edge of his profile—cheekbone, jawline, lips set just slightly too tight.
“Did you come to scold me, Potter?” he asked, the syllables smooth but defensive, a shield of sarcasm raised with precision.
“Oh, so we’re back to ‘Potter’ now?” he taunted, and Regulus narrowed his eyes. “But no,” James said, stepping closer, one pace and then another, until the air between them thinned. “I came because you’re being reckless. And it’s going to get you killed.”
That struck something because Regulus’ entire body reacted—the set of his jaw, the stiffening of his shoulders, the way his spine straightened as though on instinct, drawing himself up with sharp pride.
“I’m not a child,” he snapped, eyes glittering, chin tilted just enough to be defiant.
“I know,” James said, and the words came quicker than he meant them to. “Believe me, I know.”
And it hung there between them. The double meaning. The ache he hadn’t meant to reveal.
“You came here to end what Sirius started, then?” Regulus tilted his head, lips curling with that bitter, knowing smile James had started to despise. Not because it lacked charm, but because it always meant Regulus was preparing to bleed himself dry under his own blade.
“I’m starting to believe I’ve become everyone’s punching bag. What are you going to do, Potter? Lecture me for being a terrible little brother? Interrogate me about the things I’ve done? I’m sure you already have a mental list of—”
James took another step forward, voice low but unwavering.
“I want to know you.”
Regulus blinked. Froze.
“The real you,” James went on, taking another step. “Not the mask. Not the boy trying to slit his own throat by proxy.”
Regulus’ eyes snapped to his, furious and sharp, and James could see it, the storm behind his gaze, the tremor beneath all that practiced stillness.
“You think you can fix me, Potter?” he snapped, voice full of venom. “Is that it? You’re going to pour enough goodness into me that I miraculously turn human again?”
James let out a sharp, bitter laugh, short and joyless. It hit the air like shattered glass. “No,” he said simply. “I don’t think you’re broken, Regulus.”
That silenced him, the retort dying on his tongue.
James stepped closer, gaze flicking across his face—first to his eyes, then to the angry cut along his jaw, half-dried and crusted at the edges. His voice dropped, low and rough, like it was scraped up from somewhere too honest. “You didn’t even bother to clean your cut.”
Regulus let out a sharp breath and rolled his eyes, too fast to be careless. “I don’t care,” he said, as if the dismissal could end the conversation entirely.
“I do,” James replied calmly, with a finality that cut deeper than any scolding.
Regulus’ carefully composed mask faltered, just long enough for James to catch the flicker of something raw in his eyes.
“Sit,” James said then, nodding toward the edge of the bed, the word spoken with more tenderness than command. But still, it held no room for argument.
Regulus frowned, his expression tightening in the way it always did when he sensed a challenge. “Excuse me?”
James didn’t bother repeating himself. He let silence do the talking and moved, brushing past him through the narrow slice of space between the bed and the wall. Their shoulders barely touched but it was enough to spark a line of fire down James’ spine. Enough to leave his skin singing from the contact, every nerve pulled taut like a bowstring.
He crossed to the small desk in the corner. There, untouched, sat a set of bandages and a dented tin of salve. James scooped them up with one hand and turned back around, the supplies suddenly feeling heavier than they should.
“I said, sit,” he repeated, this time, the last word holding an unmistakable weight. James wasn’t asking for obedience. He was asking for trust.
Regulus stared at him, lips parted around something unsaid. And then, like slow ink blooming in water, a flush crept up his throat. It painted across his skin with devastating effect—softening the sharpness, melting the ice.
His breath hitched. His shoulders tensed. But he sat.
Not slouched or folded, but regal and controlled, as if it was his decision. As if he was granting James permission to step closer.
The tension shifted again, coiling tighter now, thick as smoke. Every breath James took felt drawn from Regulus’ lungs. There was too little space between them. Too little air. Every breath felt shared, tangled.
James stepped forward and dropped to his knees, settling between Regulus’ legs in a single fluid motion that made the air quake. He adjusted the bandages in his grip, but the fabric felt suddenly too warm, his own breath too loud in his ears. Regulus sat still in front of him, their eyes level now, and James could feel him watching, could feel the tremble of anticipation ripple just beneath the surface of his skin.
He reached up slowly and cupped Regulus’ chin in one hand. His fingers curved with unexpected tenderness around the sharp angle of his jaw, tilting his face toward the flickering lamplight. The glow spilled across Regulus’ features—too beautiful, too breakable in this light—and James’ thumb skimmed softly along the edge of his cheekbone, where the bruising bloomed. Then, with delicate care, James dipped the cloth into the salve and pressed it against the gash.
Regulus flinched, but didn’t pull away.
“Hold still,” James murmured, voice barely above a whisper. His fingers steadied against Regulus’ skin, and Merlin, he could feel the tremor there, faint but undeniable. The shiver that ran just under the surface like a wire too tightly strung. James’ heart echoed it, thrumming like thunder.
“You really don’t care about pain, do you?” he asked, his voice dropping lower, thicker. “You’d rather let the wound fester than admit you need help.”
Regulus’ eyes snapped to his, and there was fire there, sharp and defensive. “People don’t offer it without demanding something in return,” he said, each word biting and brittle. “You should know that by now.”
James stilled.
For a beat, he said nothing. Just looked at him. Then slowly, almost reverently, his fingers moved lower, trailing along the curve of Regulus’ jaw, then down the line of his throat. Barely a touch, just the backs of his knuckles skating over skin, but it felt possessive in a way he hadn’t meant it to be. Or maybe he had. Maybe he’d meant every second of it.
“I’m not people,” James said finally, his voice rough, a rasp of breath threaded with too much restraint. “You should know that by now.”
And between them, the air pulsed.
Regulus didn’t speak. His breath hitched. His pupils were blown wide now, eyes locked on James’ mouth.
And James, still kneeling between his knees, felt the moment tremble like a live wire in the dark, waiting to finally ignite.
“Then who are you?” Regulus whispered, and the quiet rasp of it landed in James’ chest like a blow. His knees nearly gave beneath him, not from shock but from the sheer gravity of hearing that voice shaped around something so open, so stripped bare.
James leaned in until the space between them all but vanished, until he could feel the heat of Regulus’ breath mingling with his own, warm and unsteady, brushing like silk over his lips. When he finally did speak, his voice was a slow drawl, deliberate and quiet, like he was offering a secret.
“Who do you want me to be, sparrow?”
The name cracked the air open. Regulus’ lashes fluttered down for the barest moment, his breath hitching, chest rising with a quiet stutter. James saw the way that name slipped past the defences, cracked something open behind his eyes.
“Don’t call me that,” Regulus said, barely managing the shape of the words. His voice cracked at the edges, brittle and thin. “Don’t…”
“Why not?” James asked softly, unwilling to pull away, unwilling to give back the distance that had finally, finally closed.
Regulus’ jaw tightened. “It makes me sound small.”
“No,” James murmured, dragging his thumb slowly along the sharp line of Regulus’ jaw, a caress edged with reverence. “It makes you sound like something wild. Elusive. Like something that was never meant to be caught, but still, Merlin, you can’t help yourself but want to try.”
Regulus’ breath left him in a slow exhale. His lips were parted, his expression somewhere between fury and want, like the two had always lived in the same breath, indistinguishable, impossible to untangle.
“You think this is a game?” Regulus’ voice came low, dangerous.
James didn’t flinch. Didn’t grin like he normally would, didn’t dangle a clever retort between them like bait. This wasn’t a game, and they both knew it.
“No,” he said simply, his gaze burning with something darker. “I think you’ve been waiting for someone who wasn’t playing.”
That landed like a weight between them. James saw the way his throat tightened, the way he swallowed hard, like the words had struck something buried deep and tightly wound—something fragile he didn’t want unearthed, let alone seen. James’ gaze dipped, fixated on the movement of Regulus’ throat, the skin there pale and unguarded. His breath caught with the sudden urge to press his mouth there, to bite, to claim whatever it was Regulus refused to name.
Instead, he leaned in again. Not to kiss—not quite. Just enough to let their lips ghost past each other, barely brushing in a whisper of contact. A warning. A promise.
“So,” James murmured, his eyes flicking down to Regulus’ lips before dragging back up to meet his gaze, “Who do you want me to be?”
Regulus didn’t answer. His hands twitched at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them. His chest rose in uneven bursts, and it looked like it hurt to breathe. Like every breath cost him something he hadn’t meant to give away.
And James felt it. That pull. That terrible, beautiful edge between wanting and restraint.
When Regulus finally spoke, it came out broken and breathless.
“I want you to shut up.”
A slow, feral smile curled across James’ mouth.
“Then make me.”
The room seemed to contract around them, shrinking into this moment. Regulus didn’t close the distance. He just looked at him like he was dissecting James with his eyes, peeling him apart with every passing second, examining each piece with a terrifying kind of precision.
Then, painfully slowly, he raised one hand and touched the edge of James’ collar. Not forcefully. Barely a touch. Just enough to drag his fingers beneath the fabric, to tease the skin beneath, to test him. His nails traced lightly along the collarbone to the hollow of James’ throat, and James felt the world tilt with the contact.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Regulus murmured, his voice a soft, dangerous whisper. His voice was soft, but there was something coiled beneath it, something dark and hungry.
James’ breath caught. “Don’t I?” he asked, voice rough around the edges. “You’ve been looking at me like this since that morning.”
Regulus’ lips curved, not quite a smile, but close. A flicker of something unreadable passed across his face. “Looking at you like what, exactly?”
“Like you wanted to pin me down and tear me apart,” he said, voice thick with heat. “Or put a blade in my ribs. Or both.”
Regulus blinked slowly, like he hadn’t expected the honesty. Like James had tilted the board and upended the rules.
“And what if I did?” Regulus asked, calm, but his voice had dropped an octave, soft as silk. James could feel it coil low in his spine.
The air around them crackled like it had caught fire.
“Then I’d ask you to pick a spot.”
A soft, incredulous sound left Regulus’ mouth, half breath, half laugh.
“You’re reckless,” he whispered, gaze flicking to James’ lips again.
James tilted his head slightly, his smile all teeth. “You like that.”
Regulus’ eyes narrowed. “No,” he said, but his voice betrayed him—thin, tremulous, cracking in places it had no business cracking. “I like control.”
“Oh, I know.” James’ voice dropped, thick with knowing. “You like to be the one holding the blade. The one who watches people squirm under it.”
And just like that, Regulus’ hand fisted in the back of James’ hair, sudden and merciless, and yanked his head back with a smooth, practiced motion that made James gasp. The sound was sharp, involuntary, his throat bared like an offering, neck stretched and vulnerable beneath the flickering lamplight.
Regulus leaned in close, his breath brushing against the skin he’d exposed. His voice came low and deadly, velvet draped over steel.
“I could slice your throat open right now,” Regulus said, voice low. “Leave you bleeding on the floor.”
James’ breath hitched, but it wasn’t fear that flared in his eyes. It was hunger. His pupils blown wide, his chest rising with uneven anticipation.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” James rasped, a crooked, breathless smile flickering across his lips. He didn’t look afraid. He looked lit from within, devoured by it.
Regulus’ breath stuttered. Just slightly. Enough to give him away.
“You’re either the stupidest Gryffindor I’ve ever met,” he whispered, “or the most dangerous one.”
James smirked, unrelenting. “Can’t I be both?”
Regulus didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smirk. But his jaw clenched, his fist in James’ hair tightened—slowly, deliberately, like he was resisting the urge to either shove him away or drag him closer.
James saw it—felt it—in the smallest betrayals of Regulus’ expression: the faint twitch in his jaw, the white-knuckled clench of his fist at his side, the almost imperceptible flick of his gaze down to his mouth before snapping back to meet his eyes, like he resented himself for the glance but couldn’t help repeating it. He stared at James like he was some volatile force of nature, wild, incomprehensible, and far too dangerous to stand this close to, and yet he made no move to step back.
“You think I won’t break you in half?” Regulus murmured, his voice low, hoarse with restraint. It shook slightly, not from weakness, but from the sheer force of how much he didn’t want to want this, how much desire warred against denial.
James’ lips parted; his eyes dark with lust. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want,” he whispered, every syllable pulled from somewhere deep in his chest, slow and aching, like confession.
Regulus’ fingers gave a vicious tug, wrenching James’ head back, and a broken sound spilled from his lips, unbidden and wrecked, half-moan, half-prayer.
And Regulus froze.
His eyes locked on James’ mouth, and James could feel it: the moment all the tension between them snapped, not in retreat, but in surrender.
“You don’t get it,” Regulus whispered, so close now his words brushed James’ lips. “You don’t get it. I don’t know how to want someone without destroying them.”
James’ voice was a rasp, torn from his throat. “Maybe I don’t want to be wanted any other way.”
That was it. That shattered what little composure Regulus had left.
He surged forward like something starved and unrepentant, like a man who had held back too long and had finally stopped caring about the consequences. His mouth crashed against James’ with the fury of a dam breaking, no grace, no warning, just ruinous need given form.
There was nothing gentle about it.
Their teeth clashed, mouths dragged open with bruising urgency, hands groped and tangled and clawed. Regulus kissed like it was the only language he had left, like every moment of restraint he’d ever practiced had turned to dust the second James said that. And James kissed back like he’d been waiting his whole life to be torn apart by it, like being ruined by Regulus Black had always been inevitable, and he welcomed the end.
James gripped the hem of Regulus’ shirt, fists twisting in the fabric as he yanked him closer, as if the space between them had become unbearable, as if he might fall apart if they weren’t pressed flush against each other. Regulus didn’t resist, and he pulled, dragging James down, until he landed on the mattress with a thud.
James followed without hesitation, straddling his hips, knees bracketing him, hands caging him in like Regulus was something he couldn’t risk losing to the dark. Their mouths found each other again, fiercer now, but beneath the fury, there was something else—softer, aching. The edges began to fray. The tempo shifted.
There was want, yes. Fire. Hunger. But beneath that was longing. The kind that sits behind ribs and doesn’t speak unless forced. The kind that ached in the stillness between kisses. The kind that said I see you, when nothing else ever had.
James moaned into Regulus’ mouth, the sound ragged and raw, shameless in its desperation. God, he hadn’t known it could feel like this—like lightning threaded through his veins, like being opened from the inside out with every brush of lips and tongue and teeth.
Regulus tasted like something dangerous, something forbidden and dark and barely sweet—like secrets whispered under moonlight. James couldn’t get enough. He wanted all of him. The fury. The fear. The fight. The softness that was so deeply buried, it didn’t even have a name yet.
He pressed closer, grinding down, aligning their bodies until the heat between them felt like it could burn through skin. Every brush of contact sparked something deeper, something that refused to be quiet.
Regulus gasped into his mouth, sharp and startled, as if he hadn’t meant to give that away.
James kissed him like it was the last thing he’d ever do. Like he needed to learn the exact shape of Regulus’ mouth. The way he trembled when James bit down just a little too hard. The flicker of resistance in his jaw that softened the longer their mouths stayed fused.
He kissed him until Regulus stopped pretending that he didn’t want this.
With a growl of frustration, Regulus clawed at James’ shirt, yanking it free from his waistband with shaking fingers. His nails scraped over bare skin, and James hissed, the sound punched from his lungs, half-pain, half-pleasure, all need.
Regulus’ hands found his face next, cupping it violently, thumbs digging into James’ cheekbones like he had to keep him there. Like he needed proof this wasn’t another dream. Another cruel, private fantasy.
James gasped again, broken and open, pressing his forehead to Regulus’, their mouths still brushing in shallow, stuttering kisses.
“You’re driving me fucking insane,” he breathed, like it was the only truth he had left to give.
Regulus huffed a breathless laugh and threaded his fingers into James’ hair like he had every right to be there. Like it wasn’t the most dangerous thing either of them could do. The sound of him reverberated through James’ bones, igniting something fierce in his chest.
“Should I be sorry?” Regulus murmured. His voice was rough. Thick. Cracked wide open.
James pulled back just far enough to look at him, and what he saw nearly undid him: pupils blown wide, lips swollen, cheeks flushed. That glint of sharpness still burned in his eyes, but underneath it was something raw.
James crushed their mouths together again, slower now, drawing it out, indulgent and greedy with the press of lips and tongue and teeth. He dragged Regulus’ bottom lip between his own, sucking softly, then biting down just enough to taste the gasp it earned. Their mouths moved like they’d done this a thousand times in another life, and this one had just been the long, aching road back.
James indulged in the feeling and let his mouth wander. Down the sharp angle of Regulus’ jaw, tracing the cut of his throat with the reverence of a man memorizing scripture. He pressed a kiss to the hollow there, then another lower down, mapping the ridges of collarbone, the delicate, perfect architecture of him. Regulus sighed beneath him, and James took every sound like a prize he hadn’t known he was desperate for.
He kissed him until Regulus’ hips arched up without warning, grinding against him in a way that turned James’ breath ragged. He groaned, barely holding the sound back, forehead pressing to Regulus’ chest like the world was spinning too fast beneath him.
“Fuck” Regulus hissed, his head pressed against the mattress, the column of his neck fully exposed as if begging to be tasted.
The heat between them had gone from sharp to scalding, unbearable in its urgency, the air thick and trembling around them. The room beyond faded entirely, and all that remained was this: Regulus beneath him, gasping. The shallow breaths they shared, the friction that made James feel like he was standing on the edge of something vast and irreversible.
He leaned down again, mouth brushing against the rapid pulse fluttering beneath Regulus’ skin. He whispered into the warmth of it, voice hoarse and trembling, “If we don’t stop now… I won’t be able to ever let you go.”
Regulus shivered beneath him, but he didn’t say anything. Didn’t push him away. His hands moved instead, slipping down between them as he fumbled with the buckle of his belt. The leather slid through the loops; his fingers were clumsy. His breath came in short, uneven gasps, his composure splintering with every second that passed.
James couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Then—fuck—Regulus’ knuckles brushed his bare stomach, and his body lit up like a struck match. He swore, low and filthy and uncontrollable, a sound punched from his lungs like sin itself. A flush rose hot and fast up his neck, his skin prickling, nerves set alight.
Regulus gasped right into his mouth as James rocked his hips against him, a desperate grind of want and hunger, and his head fell back against the mattress with a soft, choked cry that echoed far too loudly in the still air. It was the kind of sound that burned its way into the marrow of James’ bones.
“James—”
His name. Not a question, not a protest—just his name, spoken like it meant something unbearable.
“Say it again.” James panted against the curve of Regulus’ throat, his breath hot and uneven. “Please—"
Regulus’ lips brushed his ear, close enough to make James shudder. And he said it again, and again, and again. Whispered it like a curse and a prayer all at once, like it was the only thing tethering him to the world and he was scared to let go.
James felt the heat. The tension. The inevitability of everything.
He was crashing, burning, spiralling into something he didn’t have the words for. Regulus writhed beneath him; the fine bones of his wrists caught in James’ hands as he pinned them to the mattress above his head. They were delicate and pale, veins visible beneath translucent skin, and James couldn’t stop touching him.
Couldn’t stop feeling him.
He traced his thumbs over them, over the softness there, and it felt like worship.
Gods, he was already addicted.
To the shape of him. To every soft sound dragged from that perfect mouth. The way his lips parted around James’ name like it always belonged there. And this, this was nothing like it had been with Lily.
With Lily, it had been sweet. She’d kissed him like she meant it, and he’d kissed her back like he was learning how to be gentle. But there had been no ache beneath it. No drowning sense of if I don’t have you, I’ll come apart. She never set him on fire like this. She never left him gasping. Her touch had never felt like a brand.
But Regulus…he ignited him. Everything felt sharper. More desperate. More dangerous. He was starting to think he might go mad if Regulus ever pulled away. If he ever looked at him like this wasn’t real. He’d never felt this doomed and alive at the same time.
James moaned into his mouth again as Regulus rolled his hips beneath him, slow and sinuous and deadly. He sank his teeth into the slope of his collarbone, biting down just enough to bruise, and Regulus gasped, arching into him like he wanted to be devoured. Like he wanted to disappear inside the wreckage of it.
James gripped his wrists tighter, holding him down, and pressed their bodies flush together, lips dragging across his skin like he could taste the very soul of him.
He wanted to fall headfirst into the chaos of Regulus Black. Let it wreck him. Let it become everything.
“I couldn’t sleep,” James rasped, his voice barely more than a tremor between them, broken at the edges with honesty he hadn’t meant to spill. “Kept thinking about this. About you. Every fucking night, like some kind of madness I couldn't shake.”
Regulus twisted beneath him, not to escape but to reach, wriggling a hand free of James’ grip only to bury it in his hair again, pulling him up with a sound that was all need, breathless and wild. Their mouths collided, desperate and open, like it hurt to be apart for even a second longer. James tasted him with all the restraint of a man starved, each kiss deeper than the last, a clumsy prayer formed on tongues and teeth and gasping breaths.
Their bodies moved together in frantic rhythm, hips grinding, nerves frayed. There was nothing graceful in the way they clutched and collided. Just pure, frantic need. The kind that left bruises. The kind that ached days later. Regulus arched until his head tipped back into the mattress with a soft, broken whimper that punched the air from James’ lungs. And gods, James drank that sound, swallowed it whole like it was the only thing keeping him grounded as everything else dissolved into static.
His hands moved to his body, palms rough with old calluses trailing reverently across the soft skin of his stomach, then up, higher, tracing the outline of his ribs like a cartographer committing sacred terrain to memory. Regulus gasped, twitching beneath the touch, every line of him drawn tight with anticipation.
“Jamie,” he whispered again, voice trembling, breath catching on the syllables. “Please—”
James almost shattered right there. That voice. That nickname. Spoken like it meant everything. Like it was everything. It cracked him open from the inside, molten and soft, and for a single breathless heartbeat, he thought he might never be whole again if he never heard it again.
He pressed his forehead to Regulus’, the moment stretching long and golden and trembling between them, their noses brushing, breath tangling like threads knotted tight. His lips traced across Regulus’ cheek, along his jaw, over the soft edge of his mouth.
“Tell me what you want,” James murmured, his voice a threadbare whisper. “Anything. Just tell me and I’ll give it to you. Whatever it is.”
Regulus dragged James down and kissed him again—slow this time. Slower than anything they’d done. But no less consuming. No less feral. It was the kind of kiss that said I’ve waited forever for this, and I didn’t even know it.
“Everything,” Regulus whispered against his lips, and James shattered, drowning in it.
In the softness of Regulus’ lips. In the warm exhale of breath against his cheek. In the subtle tremble in the fingertips that clutched at his shoulders like they didn’t know how to let go.
James kissed him like an answer to a question neither of them had dared to ask.
Like he was trying to memorize every sigh, every quake, every impossibly soft place he hadn’t known Regulus could have.
His hands roamed again, slower now, reverent. They traced the line of Regulus’ waist, the dip of his spine, the soft hollow beneath his ribs. When his thumb brushed just beneath the curve there, Regulus sucked in a breath and arched against him, hips canting upward like he was helpless to the sensation.
“You’re shaking,” James whispered, his lips brushing the delicate shell of his ear. “Is that for me?”
Regulus made a sound, half-laugh, half-moan, turned his face into the curve of James’ neck, breath hot and ragged against his throat. He bit down lightly, a fleeting, stinging pressure that made James groan and grind down, lost in the way their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces long misplaced.
“I hate you,” Regulus breathed, but it came out wrecked, uneven, stripped of any conviction.
James laughed, breathless and disbelieving. “You’re a terrible liar.”
Regulus didn’t bother arguing.
Their legs tangled beneath the covers, an unspoken claim written in the curl of toes, the brush of knees, the subtle grind of hips as they sought friction, warmth, contact. Their hearts beat in tandem now, fast and frantic, the rhythm of surrender pulsing between them.
They kissed again, slow and aching and deep. The kind of kiss that tilts the world sideways and makes it impossible to walk straight afterward. The kind that brands itself into memory and lives in the hollows of your chest for years to come.
And James let himself tumble into the fire, into the feel of Regulus’ mouth and the smell of his skin and the echo of his name spoken like salvation.
Because for the first time in his life, James didn’t want to be saved.
He just wanted him.
They stood tangled in the bed, limbs draped over each other with the kind of ease that only came from repetition—like this had happened before and would happen again, like their bodies had already memorized the shape of comfort they made together. The room was still, wrapped in the quiet intimacy that always came in the moments after, when the world seemed to pause and take a breath around them.
James’ hand moved slowly, almost reverently, over the smooth expanse of Regulus’ back. His fingertips traced idle, unhurried patterns against warm skin, following the elegant lines of his spine, brushing gently over the slope of his shoulder blade and over the small scars littered across his skin like constellations, merging with the freckles. Beneath his palm, he could feel the quiet, steady rhythm of Regulus’ pulse. The rise and fall of his chest against James’ own was slow and even, like the tension had finally slipped from his bones and left behind something softer. Something real.
Neither of them spoke at first. The silence between them was not awkward or hesitant, but full and thick with unspoken words, shared breath, and a strange kind of peace that wrapped around James like a blanket.
James’ nose brushed lightly through Regulus’ tousled hair as he exhaled a slow breath, feeling the ache in his chest bloom a little fuller, a little brighter. And yet, despite the warmth of it, despite the way everything in him begged to stay here, he shifted slightly, already regretting the movement even before it was complete.
“I should get back,” he murmured, voice low and rough-edged, like it had been scraped raw by the moment. “Before they wake up and notice that I am missing.”
Regulus stirred, eyelids fluttering open like petals unfurling slowly in the dawn light. His green eyes met James’, heavy with sleep and something softer, more vulnerable than James had ever seen in him before. There was no mask, no cold calculation, no poised deflection. Just him. Just Regulus, stripped bare of pretence and looking up at him like he wasn’t sure how to let him go.
He murmured something under his breath, the words quiet and almost swallowed.
James’ lips curled into a gentle smile, and he leaned down to press a kiss into the messy, dark curls at Regulus’ temple. The scent of him settled in James’ lungs. “What was that?” he asked softly.
Regulus tilted his head just enough to smirk up at him, lazy and beautiful and painfully human. “I said,” he drawled, voice hoarse with sleep, “if you leave without kissing me goodbye, I will curse you so hard your future children will limp.”
James snorted, despite himself. “Such a hopeless romantic,” he whispered, but his voice trembled with something bigger than laughter.
“You better not leave me waiting too long next time.”
The ache in James’ chest twisted tighter, but it was a good ache, the kind that made him want to smile and cry all at once. He didn’t realize how much it meant until that moment. That quiet admission, the hope tucked carefully between the words.
“Deal,” James said and sealed it with another kiss. Slow, careful, devastating.
They drifted back into silence, their bodies still folded together. James shifted just enough to tuck Regulus against his chest again, cradling him close, and let his fingers resume their slow, comforting journey along his spine.
And then, after a moment, Regulus broke the stillness again.
“No word to anybody.”
James chuckled, warm and quiet, and lifted his hand to brush a thumb along Regulus’ cheekbone. His skin was impossibly soft beneath his touch, and the way Regulus leaned into it made something inside him splinter. “My lips are sealed, love,” he whispered, voice threaded with something tender and infinite.
Regulus made a noncommittal hum, like he didn’t believe him, but didn’t really care either. He tilted his face up, into James’ palm, like a cat seeking warmth, and James’ heart damn near cracked open.
Regulus Black was beautiful. Not in the loud, ostentatious way people used to say Sirius was. No, this was something quieter, something more devastating. It was in the curl of his lashes against his cheek, the faint freckles scattered like stardust across the bridge of his nose, the pink of his mouth still swollen from kisses. It was the softness he tried to hide, the cautious way he let James hold him, like he didn’t quite believe he was allowed to be held like this.
James felt it in his bones that this was something precious. That he had been granted access to a part of Regulus no one else had ever seen, a part too tender for the world to touch. It made his chest swell with something wild and fragile and terribly, beautifully human.
He’d seen Regulus cold, furious, cutting. He’d seen the shield, the sharp wit, the ironclad control.
But this was new.
This was Regulus undone.
This was Regulus trusting him.
And James didn’t take that lightly.
He leaned in, pressing a kiss on Regulus’ forehead, slow and careful, as though the gesture alone might say everything he didn’t yet know how to voice. Then he cradled Regulus tighter, hand slipping into his hair again, stroking slowly through the strands. Regulus’ breathing evened out eventually, but he didn’t go back to sleep. He just lay there, still and pliant, curled into James like he’d been poured into the empty spaces of him.
And James? For the first time in a long, long time… he didn’t feel the need to run.
Maybe this wasn’t forever. Maybe they would burn too brightly and too fast, like stars do when their time has come.
But for now, with Regulus’ breath warm against his collarbone, it felt like enough.
And that was all James Potter had ever really wanted.
Notes:
Genuine question: do you think Sirius would teach James how to bark? For scientific purposes, obviously🙂↔️
Chapter 12: A beautiful mess
Summary:
"Nobody's Soldier"- Hozier
Notes:
Remus calling out everyone's bullshit should become a trope itself, tbh😪
Chapter Text
Everyone was already gathered in the common room by the time Regulus stepped through the portrait frame, its heavy canvas swaying shut behind him with a muted thud that sounded too much like finality.
He paused just beyond the threshold, fingers still curled tightly around the edge of the stone arch, as he looked around him.
Everyone was here. Everyone but—
His breath caught in his throat.
James was missing.
His eyes swept the room again, slower this time. Dorcas and Marlene were gone too, but it was James his mind fixated on, his heart searching for in every empty seat, every breathless pause. He half-expected him to emerge from some darkened corner with that infuriating cocky smile, all messy hair and reckless warmth. But the silence stretched, and the ache in his chest sharpened.
There was no sign of him.
Just the others, slumped in exhaustion, red-rimmed eyes and bruised silence. The kind of silence that pressed down on the skin and crept into the bones.
A slow, yawning hollowness opened in his chest.
“What now?” Sirius’ voice cracked through the air like a whip, startling him back into the room. He was pacing near the fire, arms crossed over his chest like a barricade, jaw clenched tight. “Are we just going to sit here all day waiting for the world to end?”
Barty, who was perched on the windowsill, gave a careless shrug. A cigarette was dangling precariously between his lips, ash threatening to fall at any second. He didn’t look up as he ran his hunting knife along a whetstone in slow, deliberate strokes. The metallic rasp of blade against stone had been going for so long it had become part of the room’s oppressive atmosphere. Regulus knew he’d been doing this for a while. It was his own way of coping with stress.
“If you’re so bored, feel free to go wandering the corridors, Black,” Barty said without looking up, his tone drenched in disdainful amusement. “I’m sure a few Death Eaters would just love the chance to reacquaint themselves with you. A proper little reunion, don’t you think?”
Sirius glared at him but didn’t rise to the bait. His knuckles were white where they pressed into his biceps.
“He’s been at it for hours,” Mary murmured, leaning subtly toward Lily as if speaking too loudly might provoke something.
Lily didn’t reply. Her gaze was fixed somewhere far away, lips drawn thin, her hands twisted in the hem of her jumper.
“Brilliant observation, Macdonald. Truly, Gryffindor’s finest. Shall I award you ten points for your unparalleled vigilance?” Barty muttered, voice soaked in sarcasm as he raised the blade and turned it in the morning light. He scrunched his nose and returned to his job.
Regulus’ gaze drifted toward the quietest corner of the room, where Remus sat half-slumped in a tattered armchair. His head was bowed, hands folded loosely in his lap, his eyes shadowed and unfocused as though his mind was miles away.
“Remus,” Regulus said quietly.
The boy stirred, blinking slowly before lifting his head to meet Regulus’ gaze.
“Can I have a word?” Regulus asked.
There was a pause. Regulus felt the eyes of the room shift toward them—Sirius’ most of all, dark and wary and uncertain. For a moment, his brother’s face twisted, caught between confusion and a need to interject.
But Remus nodded before Sirius could speak.
“Yeah. Sure.” His voice was low, steady, though there was weariness in it too, like every word took effort.
Without another word, he rose from the chair and Regulus followed him toward the narrow corridor that led to the eastern wing of the tower—their wing. The others watched them go in silence, no one asking where they were headed or why.
“How’s your cut?” Remus asked, his voice low and casual, though not without a trace of concern. His steps echoed softly against the worn stone of the staircase as they made their way up the tower, the chill of the morning still clinging to the walls. He glanced back over his shoulder at Regulus, eyes narrowing slightly at the faint sheen of sweat glistening at his temple and the stiffness in his movements that he tried, but failed, to mask.
“Careful,” he added a moment later, lifting a hand to gesture toward a warped wooden plank about halfway up the next flight. “That step’s been loose since sixth year. Nearly sent me to the hospital wing twice.”
Regulus gave a barely-there nod and adjusted his stride, stepping over the faulty board with a practiced ease. “Thanks,” he murmured. “The cut’s fine. It stopped bleeding.”
Remus slowed slightly, letting his fingers graze the cold iron railing beside him.
“It’ll scar,” he said matter-of-factly, his tone quieter now, more thoughtful than warning. “You can clean it, seal it, charm it all you want. Still leaves a mark. Magic doesn’t tend to let you walk away clean.”
Regulus gave the barest of shrugs, like he’d long accepted that.
“Fine by me. Just another souvenir.” His voice was dry, more brittle than he meant it to be, but Remus didn’t press.
They reached the door at the top of the landing. Remus reached for the handle, then froze as it burst open from the other side with a suddenness that made both boys jolt. He stepped back out of instinct, nearly colliding with Regulus behind him.
James stood in the doorway, hair a storm-tossed mess, shirt twisted and barely buttoned, clinging to one shoulder as if thrown on mid-sprint. His eyes were wide, unfocused, almost a little too alert for someone who had just woken up.
“Moony!” he blurted, blinking rapidly like he hadn’t expected anyone to actually be there. “Shit—Why the hell didn’t you wake me?”
Remus blinked back, eyebrows lifting slowly. “You came back late,” he said, more measured. “You were tossing and turning all night. I figured you needed the extra sleep.”
He paused then, gaze narrowing. “James? You alright?”
It wasn’t just concern now—it was something quieter, sharper. A suspicion. Because something was off. It was in the way James’ breath caught halfway through the reply. The way his face flushed and his eyes slightly widened.
He turned, slowly, following James’ gaze until his own landed squarely on Regulus, who stood just behind him. Regulus, whose face now bore that exact same expression, as though something had cracked open inside him and he was doing everything in his power to keep it from showing. His spine had straightened subtly, posture too controlled, his features carefully neutral, but not nearly fast enough.
Remus looked back to James. Then again, this time slower, more deliberate, at Regulus, who had gone utterly still, like a statue caught mid-breath. It was all too poised. Too careful. Too intentional. The air between the three of them seemed to stretch tight, drawn like a string that could snap with the wrong word.
“Did you two have a fight?” Remus asked, his voice soft but pointed, laced with that kind of perceptiveness that came from knowing someone too well for their own comfort. He watched James closely, and the moment the question left his mouth, he saw it. An almost imperceptible flinch, a sudden flicker in James’ eyes like a shutter snapping against the light.
“What? No. No! Why would—? No.” He laughed, short and brittle, and rubbed the back of his neck like it might reset the moment. “We didn’t... I mean. No. I was just—uh—surprised to see Regulus. Here. In, um, this part of the tower. Obviously.”
His voice cracked near the end of the sentence, and Regulus, still silent behind Remus, exhaled sharply through his nose—just shy of an eye roll. His jaw worked, clenched briefly, then relaxed again. It was the kind of microexpression that screamed You absolute idiot without saying a word.
“Obviously,” Remus echoed, dry as salt.
James, clearly desperate to redirect the attention away from himself, added in a rush, “What are you doing here anyway?”
“Reggie wants to discuss something with me,” Remus replied. He was watching both of them now with the full weight of his attention.
“Oh. Right. Okay.” James blinked a few times, scratching the back of his neck in a nervous tic that always betrayed him. “Well. Then I’ll just—uh—leave you to… discuss.”
But before he could step aside, Regulus spoke.
“You can stay,” he said quietly, his voice low but composed, the kind of tone that suggested he had decided something internally and now there was no going back.
James turned back toward him slowly, unsure, like he hadn’t expected to hear his voice. Their eyes met, and this time, neither of them looked away. Something passed between them. Thick and impossible and unbearably quiet.
Remus’ frown deepened. His eyes moved from one boy to the other, seeing everything they were trying so poorly to hide.
“Prongs,” he said gently, almost a whisper. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
James blinked. Once. Twice.
Then that grin, too wide, too bright, spread across his face like a patch over a crack. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, of course. Totally fine.”
He stepped aside from the threshold, gesturing for them to come in. “Come on in. Don’t mind me.”
Regulus stepped into the boys’ dormitory and, for a moment, simply stood there, looking around him. The room had seen better days; the edges of the posters curled with age, some half-torn and hanging by a stubborn scrap of Spellotape, depicting Quidditch players mid-dive and Muggle band members frozen mid-scream. Dust clung to the corners and scuffed floorboards, but despite the slow decay of time and war, the space still pulsed faintly with the energy of the boys who had made it their own. It was chaotic, cluttered, and unmistakably lived in.
His eyes tracked across the room until they landed, inevitably, on James’ bed. And even if he hadn’t known whose it was, he’d have guessed in an instant. That entire section of the room was practically vibrating with his presence. It was chaos, but a curated kind—built from obsession and joy and an utter lack of self-consciousness. Cannons' jerseys draped haphazardly across the headboard like war banners. Posters enchanted to shout updates from the League if you got too close. Old stacks of Which Broomstick? magazines teetered on the edge of the nightstand like a monument to every whim and fantasy James had ever entertained about being a professional Chaser. A half-wrecked broom leaned against the wall next to it, clearly beloved and battered from years of use.
Regulus’ throat tightened unexpectedly, the ache sudden and sharp. A breath caught in his lungs like something broken.
He’d never had anything like this. Not even close.
His own room back at Grimmauld Place had been pristine. Untouched. A museum, not a bedroom. There were no posters. No badges. No clippings or scrawled notes or discarded jumpers. Only stern portraits of dead ancestors, their eyes following him with grim judgment, and heirlooms that hummed with cursed magic, the kind that whispered when the lights went out. Everything had a place and nothing was allowed to shift. The walls had always belonged to the house—to the family. Personalization had been forbidden, and rebellion was not tolerated.
He remembered watching Sirius try anyway. Watching him dare.
One summer, Sirius had enchanted a set of Muggle punk-rock band posters to hover above his bed, their slogans flickering in neon defiance. Some of them even screamed back when Kreacher tried to tear them down. They were loud, garish things. Sirius loved them. Regulus had loved them too, in secret.
He remembered the way their mother reacted when she found them. The screaming, so sharp it still rang in his ears when he closed his eyes. The crack of glass. The slam of doors. He remembered Sirius’ chin raised in open defiance, even when her fury descended like a storm cloud. And he remembered himself, barely twelve, begging her to stop. Pleading with her, trying to shift some of the blame onto his own narrow shoulders if it meant that the punishment might be softened.
It hadn’t been.
The posters were gone the next morning. Torn and burned and vanished like they’d never existed. Sirius hadn’t walked out of his room for three days after that.
“Reggie?”
Remus’ voice broke through the haze of memory like a whip.
He blinked hard and turned slightly, as though shaking something heavy off his shoulders. “Sorry,” he murmured, his tone distant. “Just… lost in thought.”
Then, more firmly, with intention behind his voice: “I need your map.”
There was a brief pause, enough to fill the room with a sudden tension. Remus furrowed his brow, exchanging a quick glance with James, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees.
“I’m sorry?” Remus asked, blinking at him. “What map?”
Regulus tilted his head slightly, the faintest suggestion of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. Not amusement, not quite. It was too cold for that. More like an expression reserved for when he knew he was being lied to.
“Remus,” he said, voice quieter now, but sharpened, as if honed by weeks of sleepless nights and hard decisions. “Don’t insult my intelligence.”
There was a beat of silence, just long enough to feel loaded, before Remus finally spoke.
“There’s no map,” Remus tried again, too calm. Too fast. The lie clung awkwardly to the air, as if even the room itself didn’t believe it.
Regulus raised an eyebrow, his expression smooth, almost bored, but the gleam in his eyes was anything but.
“Oh, come on,” he drawled, stepping forward slowly, his hands loosely clasped behind his back as he stepped fully into the room, the echo of his footsteps soft on the worn wooden floor. “You lot really think I didn’t know? That I haven’t known since fifth year that you’ve had some sort of enchanted map stashed away, helping you sneak around the castle like little anarchists with a flair for the dramatic?”
His gaze was sharp. “I’m not an idiot, Remus. I saw the way you’d appear out of nowhere at just the right time, how you always knew when Filch was coming or when Slughorn was about to round the corner. I noticed how you all kept glancing at that bit of parchment you were always so quick to tuck away when someone approached. You’re clever, I’ll give you that, but not subtle.”
James’ jaw clenched, but he said nothing. The silence spoke volumes.
“So, let’s drop the act,” Regulus said, voice low and cutting. “You still have it, and I happen to need it.”
Remus hesitated, torn, his fingers flexing at his sides. “Why?” he asked finally, the word soft but edged with real worry. “Why do you want it?”
Regulus looked between them, his face unreadable, before replying simply, “I need to get into the armoury.”
That was enough to make Remus stiffen and James sit upright so suddenly that the bedsprings groaned.
“Why?” Remus asked again, this time more urgently, his voice tight with something that sounded like dread.
Regulus inhaled; jaw tight. “Because,” he said slowly, carefully, “if Voldemort doesn’t allow us to use our wands during this trial—” He paused, and his voice dropped to a low rasp. “Then we need something else. We can’t walk into that kind of hell empty-handed and—”
“No,” James cut in sharply, his voice rising with sudden, heated finality as he stepped forward, the air around him suddenly electric with fury.
“Absolutely not.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “We don’t have time to argue—”
“I’m not arguing,” James shot back, rising to his feet. His voice was low but fierce, vibrating with something deeper. “I’m simply stating a fact. You’re not going.”
Regulus’s jaw twitched. “I don’t need your permission.”
“Maybe not,” James said, stepping closer, “but you do need the map. And I’m not letting you get yourself killed over something this stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Regulus snapped, his voice rising now. “It’s necessary.”
“You don’t know what’s down there,” James hissed. “That place hasn’t been opened in years. Not since—”
“Since my darling father helped seal it during the first siege. Yes, I know,” Regulus interrupted coldly. “I’ve done my homework. I know what I’m walking into.””
“Then you should also know how bloody dangerous it is.”
Regulus’ mouth curled into something bitter.
“Dangerous is sitting on our asses doing nothing while we wait to be butchered in some rigged trial Voldemort thinks will prove his power. You can live with your conscience, Potter, but I’d like to live through the fucking week.”
James’ fists clenched at his sides, and his voice dropped to something hoarse.
“You’re not disposable, Regulus.”
Regulus’ eyes narrowed. “Our survival depends on it—”
“Don’t care,” James snapped, interrupting him again, his face flushed, his shoulders squared. “You don’t go there.”
Remus watched the exchange with a deepening frown, the tension between the two of them now so charged it practically crackled in the air. It wasn’t just about the map anymore—that much was obvious. There was something else beneath the surface. Something jagged and personal. It bled into every word they hurled at each other, soaked into every breath they took.
James stared at Regulus like he was daring him to flinch.
“If you are so eager to go there, then I’ll come with you,” he said, voice low and tight, every syllable deliberate.
Regulus shook his head once, firmly. “No.”
The refusal hung heavy in the space between them, and then, without missing a beat, James stepped closer, his voice dropping to something colder, more restrained, but no less dangerous.
“Don’t be a bloody idiot.”
“And don’t pretend this is about the map,” he shot back, eyes blazing. “You just want someone to follow me around like a bloody shadow. You want to be able to watch me—like I’m some rabid thing that might self-destruct if left unsupervised.”
“I want someone to protect you, you arrogant bastard!” James snapped, louder than he meant to. “Because Merlin knows you never do it for yourself!”
Regulus faltered for half a second, just a flicker of hesitation. Just enough for James to see it—and pounce.
But when Regulus replied, his voice was quieter. More dangerous. “I don’t need a keeper, James. And I sure as hell don’t need you deciding when I’ve had enough war for one day.”
James laughed, but there was no humour in it. “Is that what this is about? Pride? You’d rather walk in blind and die on principle than admit you might need someone?”
Regulus took a step toward him, fists clenched at his sides. “You don’t get to pull the ‘protector’ act when the only thing you’re protecting is your own bloody conscience. You want to help? Then stop treating me like something fragile that’ll shatter if you stop hovering for five seconds.”
James took another breath, but it came out more like a gasp. “If you're so dead set on doing this alone, then fine. Good luck figuring out how the map works.”
Regulus blinked once, the meaning settling in. He didn’t respond immediately, and the silence that followed was thick with things left unsaid.
Then Remus, still hovering near the door, finally broke in. His voice was calm, but it cut like glass. “Enough.”
James and Regulus froze like they'd been caught stealing from Slughorn’s stash.
Remus stepped forward, eyes narrowing on Regulus. “You’re not going alone. Period.”
Regulus opened his mouth, clearly winding up for another rant, but Remus raised a hand—sharp, silent, and final. It stopped Regulus mid-sputter.
“If you want the map, you take James,” Remus said coolly. “Or you don’t go at all. Those are your options.”
Regulus stared at him, scandalized, like Remus had just said the most atrocious thing.
“You can’t be serious.”
Remus just raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Regulus snapped, voice rising an octave like a sulky child being told to eat his vegetables. “And I’m not dragging him along to slow me down.”
James scoffed loudly, clearly offended. “Oi—”
“You don’t even know how to use the map properly,” Remus cut in, ignoring James completely, speaking with that maddening, patient tone that only made Regulus’ eye twitch more violently.
“We can’t afford mistakes right now,” Remus continued, more gently now but no less firm. “Not when every pair of eyes in this castle is either watching you or waiting for you to slip. You’re a Black, Regulus. They don’t need a reason to hate you—they just need an excuse.”
Regulus flinched like the words hit something too raw. His mouth pressed into a thin, furious line.
He turned back around, shoulders tense, nostrils flaring.
“Fine,” he spat at last, each syllable clipped and brittle, like glass ground between his teeth. “Fifteen minutes. Common room. Bring the bloody map and your inflated sense of self-importance.”
He didn’t wait for an answer. He turned on his heel and left, the door swinging shut behind him with a soft, angry thud.
Silence settled behind him. And in that silence, Remus turned toward James, only to find his friend utterly still, his arms loose at his sides, his shoulders slack with something that wasn’t quite relief. His eyes had not followed Regulus out of the room like Remus had expected they would. No, instead, James’ gaze had remained fixed on the now-empty space where Regulus had just stood. Fixed, unmoving, as though the air itself still held the ghost of him.
And there was something in that look, something unmistakably raw.
Remus watched him, how James didn’t blink, didn’t speak, didn’t move, how his brow furrowed just faintly, like the act of not reaching out had physically cost him something. Like his body was still holding back the impulse to go after him.
It was too much. Too loaded. Not just protectiveness. Not just concern.
Something fell into place.
A slow, cold understanding began to unfurl in Remus’ chest, not loud or dramatic, but quiet. Certain. It wrapped itself around the last few minutes like a thread pulled taut through fabric: the tension, the glances, the awkwardness at the doorway, the way he opposed instantly to the idea of Regulus going alone. The way Regulus almost went feral for suggesting going with James.
Remus’ eyes widened slightly as the pieces fell into place with chilling clarity, like a silent puzzle solving itself.
“James,” he said softly, almost more to himself than to him, “what did you do?”
James finally looked away from the door, and the guilt in his eyes was answer enough.
“Oh,” Remus breathed, his voice cracking around the single syllable. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
He brought a hand up to his face, dragging it down over his mouth, eyes closing as if trying to physically shut the thought out of his head.
“Please—please tell me I’m wrong,” he groaned, more to the universe than to his friend. But the silence that followed was louder than any response..
Remus opened his eyes again. Slowly. Carefully. “You didn’t.”
The weight of his disbelief hung heavy between them.
James blinked, startled. “Moony—”
“No,” Remus said, shaking his head, already despairing. “No, don’t say it.”
He looked at Remus for a long, silent moment, then slowly sank back down onto the edge of his bed. His elbows found his knees again, his fingers curling into his palms, and when he finally spoke, his voice was rough, quieter than usual. Unsteady.
“We…uh… slept together. Last night.”
Remus stared at him. Just stared.
His hand shot into the air, cutting James off before he could add anything else.
“No. Nope. Shut up. I don’t want details. I swear to Merlin, if you say anything else, I’m throwing myself out the bloody window.”
James gave a dry, broken little laugh. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh, my fucking God, you’re serious…” Remus muttered. “This isn’t just a crush, is it? It’s not some ‘oops, tripped and landed on Regulus Black’—” he cut off with a strangled noise. “Merlin. James.”
James let his head fall into his hands. “It wasn’t a mistake. I know how that sounds. But it wasn’t. It was… it was everything. It felt like it had been waiting to happen for years.”
Remus stared at him, not with judgment now, but with a dawning, exhausted disbelief. “You’ve felt this way? For how long?”
James hesitated. “I’ve had feelings for him for years. Since… fuck, I don’t even know when it started. Since before he disappeared, definitely. I saw him the day before he disappeared, and my feelings were...” he waved his hand “let’s say they hit me in the face.”
Remus exhaled slowly, the air leaving him like the tension of a bow being released.
“Does Sirius know?” Remus asked, even though he already knew the answer.
James shook his head immediately. “No. Merlin, no. He doesn’t even suspect. I don’t even know how to tell him. I don’t know if I can.”
Remus groaned into both hands.
“James, this is not some random bloke you snuck off to shag. It’s his little brother.”
“I know,” James said, and his voice cracked under the weight of it.
“No, I don’t think you do,” Remus said, pacing a tight circle like he had to physically move or he’d implode. “You’ve been best mates since you were eleven. He’s bled for you. He’d die for you. And you’ve gone and shagged the one person on earth he swore he’d never trust again.”
“What do you want me to say, Moony?” James said, almost helplessly. “That I regret it? Because I don’t. Not for a second. I care about him. Deeply. And it wasn’t just sex. It was—” he broke off, searching. “It felt like something that had been waiting for a long time to finally happen.”
Remus sat down beside him again with a dull thud, pressing his fingertips into his temples. “Oh my fucking God, you’re in love with him.”
James moved his hand through his hair, breathing hard like he’d just come in from a sprint. “I kept pretending that I didn’t see him for years just to keep things simple. But we’re in the middle of a war, and I wanted to…I wanted to have this in case I didn’t make it out.”
He could feel Remus’ face snapping at him, his eyes burning into his profile.
James shook his head, laughing once, bitter and breathless. “He’s prickly, and infuriating, and arrogant as hell sometimes, but there’s so much more under it, Moony. There’s like a whole other Universe there, and he allowed me to see it. To hold it in my hands. I don’t think anyone else got that part of him. Not even Sirius.”
James’ voice cracked a little. “I don’t want to lose Sirius. Merlin, Moony, he’s my brother. He’s always been my brother. And I’m scared that when he finds out, it won’t matter how careful we were, or how real it is with Reg—he’ll just see betrayal. And I can’t lose him. I can’t.”
Remus let the silence settle for a moment.
“You two need to get ahead of it. Sirius is already teetering on the edge these days. If he finds out like that—” he snapped his fingers, “—he’s going to take it personally. Like it’s some big betrayal.”
James blew out a long breath. “Yeah. I know.”
“I like seeing you happy, James. I do. Merlin knows you deserve it. But you also know how Padfoot gets. He doesn’t share well. And he really doesn’t like surprises.”
James made a frustrated noise, moving a palm over his face. “So, what? Sit him down and say, ‘Hey mate, just thought you should know I’ve been secretly shagging your estranged, morally ambiguous brother while you spiral into existential doom’?”
Remus blinked. “Yeah. Maybe soften the wording a bit.”
James shot him a look that could’ve curdled milk.
“He’s going to hate Reggie more than he already does,” he murmured.
“He’ll get over it. Eventually.”
James gave a bleak smile. “When did life get this fucking complicated?”
Remus snorted. “About five minutes after you decided to date a Black.”
Chapter 13: Ten minutes
Summary:
Ladies and gentlemen, past Bartylus has been delivered 😌
Also, the questionable flirting tag is there for a reasonOnce again, I apologize for the long chapter. I really try to keep them short, but as you can see, I fucked it up again
Notes:
Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra - An unhealthy obsession
Chapter Text
Anger wasn’t a word strong enough for what Regulus felt as he crossed the common room. It didn’t even come close.
He was incandescent—blazing with a fury so hot it hollowed him out. A walking furnace of rage, barely contained by the brittle veneer of self-control he’d spent years perfecting. His every movement crackled with restrained violence: shoulders rigid, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles had gone bone-white, jaw locked to the point of pain. He didn’t walk; he stormed, each step sharp and deliberate, as if the ground itself might split beneath him.
The moment he passed through the centre of the common room, conversation faltered like a wire cut mid-spark. A hush swept through the space like a silencing spell cast without a wand. Every eye turned to him, but no one dared say a word.
Sirius, sprawled across the couch with a book in one hand and that permanent scowl etched into his features, looked up sharply at the sudden stillness. His gaze met Regulus’ and his brows drew together, reading the storm behind his brother’s eyes instantly. He didn’t ask. He didn’t challenge. He simply stood, stiff-backed and tense, tossed the book aside, and stalked off toward the stairs—no doubt heading to Remus.
Barty remained perched on the windowsill, one leg folded beneath him like some lounging cat, his fingers drumming lazily on the wood. His eyes tracked Regulus’ march with calculated calm, then arched a brow at Evan, who only offered a small shrug in response.
When the door upstairs slammed with the force of a minor earthquake, the message was clear.
Barty sighed and pushed himself off the ledge, already dragging a hand through his hair.
“That’s our cue,” he muttered, his voice low with long-suffering resignation. “For fuck’s sake, can I have ten minutes of peace in this shithole?”
He walked past the suddenly still cluster of girls, ignoring the way their gazes followed him.
“You coming?” he asked, barely glancing over his shoulder.
“Nah,” Evan replied, settling deeper into the armchair, his head tipped back, arms sprawled like he had all the time in the world. “You’re the one who manages that part of him better.”
“Wanker,” Barty said under his breath—but there was no venom behind it. Only weary fondness.
Evan only smirked, sending him a kiss that Barty pretended not to catch.
He took the familiar staircase two steps at a time, not even thinking as he turned left down the narrow corridor toward Regulus’ room. He could hear things hitting the walls before he even got there—sharp thuds, the scrape of books across the floor, something shattering.
He sighed and pushed the door open without knocking. Regulus might have wanted space, but that had never applied to him.
Inside, the room was a chaos of thrown objects and boiling silence. Barty closed the door behind him quietly and leaned against it.
Moments like this were rare. Regulus didn’t unravel easily. He didn’t shout or weep or throw tantrums like others did. He simply folded himself inward, became brittle and distant, sharp enough to cut without raising his voice. That was the Regulus most people knew. But Barty… Barty had known him for too long to be fooled.
He saw it now—the way Regulus’ hands twitched, the way his shoulders twitched with each ragged breath. He wasn’t fine. He was combusting. Quietly. Beautifully. Terrifyingly.
They’d been friends since the first bloody train ride to Hogwarts, since Barty had made some dry, barbed remark about house-elf labor and Regulus, without missing a beat, had corrected him—politely, of course, but with just enough bite to spark something. A spark that turned into a conversation, and that conversation—circling through bloodlines, magical theory, and a mutual disdain for most of their peers—had lasted the entire journey.
By the time the train screeched to a stop at Hogsmeade Station, they had something that neither of them would ever fully be able to name. Not exactly friendship, but something more brittle, more volatile.
And from that moment on, they'd stuck. Not seamlessly—never seamlessly. They fought often, sometimes loudly, sometimes with stony silences and slammed doors. But the fights were never final. The anger always cooled; the silences always broke. They found their way back to each other like magnets, even when they hated themselves for it.
Because Barty had understood something about Regulus early on: that beneath the pristine robes and measured tones and perfect manners was a boy drowning in expectations. Someone born into a life where love was conditional and silence was safer than honesty. Someone desperate to belong and terrified of what it might cost to be fully known.
And yeah, there had been that thing. The thing they never talked about. The summer before seventh year, hot and heavy and unbearably tense. It had started with a fight, of course. Barty had said something flippant about the Dark Mark, about Regulus’ ever-deepening loyalty to the cause, and Regulus had snapped. It had been brutal, that argument. Words cut like knives, accusations flung like curses. Regulus, sharp-tongued and shaking with fury. Barty, all scorn and cracked laughter. It ended with Regulus grabbing him by the front of his shirt and shoving him against the wall, then kissing him hard enough to bruise.
That “one-time mistake” happened again. And again.
But even then, even in those breathless, tangled nights, there had been something off-kilter about it all. Something hollow.
Because they didn’t talk about it—not what it meant, not what they wanted, not even what it was. They touched more than they spoke, and when they did speak, it was rarely about anything that mattered. It was easier to get lost in each other’s mouths than it was to ask real questions. Safer to press Regulus down into the mattress than to ask if he was okay. They clung to each other like lifeboats, because neither of them knew how to swim.
They weren’t toxic in the way people usually mean. There were no screaming matches that ended in breakups. No manipulation or cruelty. It was quieter than that. Sadder. They just made each other more tired. More hollow. Every time they touched, it felt like they were trying to fill something that wouldn’t stay filled.
And still, they kept going back. Because loneliness was colder than regret. Because pretending to be wanted was easier than admitting they didn’t know how to be remembered.
It wasn’t a whirlwind. Nothing with Regulus ever was. He didn’t love like fire—he loved like gravity. He loved in the way he sat closer than necessary, but never touched. In the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. In the way he remembered everything—your favorite ink, the knot in your left shoulder, the way your hands shook after dueling.
To be honest, Barty never knew if Regulus ever loved him because Regulus never said the words. Not once. Not even when Barty was pressed against him in the dead of night, breathing him in like he was trying to memorize his soul. Not even when they lay in silence afterward, hearts beating quietly out of sync. There was desire, yes. Attachment. Fondness, maybe. But the pure, unfiltered kind of love—the reckless, desperate, consuming kind—Barty never saw it in him.
And maybe Regulus had loved him, in his own way. But it was a cold love. A love so laced with guilt and restraint that it became indistinguishable from fear.
Barty… Barty had wanted more. He never said it, of course—he didn’t do vulnerability. But somewhere between the long nights tangled in Regulus’ sheets and the quiet mornings with tea cooling between them, he started imagining a future where it lasted.
But even then, even at its gentlest, he knew it was doomed.
Because Regulus was already halfway claimed by something else.
By the Black name. By his mother’s voice echoing in every instinct. By the weight of legacy and duty that he wore like iron shackles. Even when they were alone, even when he was laughing—really laughing, the way he only ever did around Barty—there was a part of him that never quite unclenched. A part that was always listening for footsteps down the hall.
And when it ended, it didn’t explode. There were no tears, no cruel words. Just a shared silence. Just the quiet truth that it had to end.
There were no confessions. No apologies. Just a final night where neither of them spoke. Just Regulus' eyes, too tired to hide, too guarded to say stay.
When Barty told him about Evan months later, Regulus had smiled. Soft, faint but real. Not bitter, not jealous. Maybe proud. Maybe relieved. Like he was glad Barty had found someone who didn’t live with one foot in the grave
And now, when Barty looked at him, he didn’t see an ex. He didn’t see some unfinished business or some tragic, almost-love.
He saw a boy who never gave himself permission to be loved.
He saw someone he knew with his eyes closed and someone who never let himself be known with his eyes open.
And so when he saw him now—standing in the wreckage of his own rage, shoulders trembling, fists clenched at his sides like they were the only thing keeping him stitched together—Barty didn’t speak. He didn’t try to fix it.
He just crossed the room slowly and sat on the edge of the bed like he’d done it a hundred times before and leaned back on his hands, watching Regulus with eyes that saw too much.
“Tell me which idiot needs cursing,” Barty said, tone deliberately light, casually flipping a letter opener between his fingers like it was a wand. “And I’ll make it look like an accident. I just happened to finish sharpening all of my knives.”
Regulus didn’t laugh. Didn’t even turn around. But his shoulders did twitch, almost imperceptibly.
“Was it Sirius?” Barty continued, cocking his head. “The usual suspects? Someone new? I am starting to feel itchy, and I could use a distraction.”
Still no answer.
He leaned back on his palms. “You know, it’s terrifying how you keep all of this inside most of the time. I throw a fit over a lukewarm cup of tea. You, meanwhile, are seconds away from combusting and still manage to keep it all under lock and key.”
His voice softened. “You don’t have to, you know. Not with me.”
That did it.
Regulus finally turned, eyes storm-dark and glassy, as if he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to scream or break down. But it was Barty, and Barty knew which mask was real and which wasn’t. He always had.
“I’m so—” Regulus started, then cut himself off. He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
Barty raised one unimpressed eyebrow. “Is this about your little escapade last night?”
Regulus didn’t answer right away, his jaw tightening. When he finally spoke, it was clipped, almost mechanical. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Barty snorted. Loudly. “Right. Because you’re so subtle, especially in the way you looked around the room. You were practically glowing this morning. Like ‘I just got absolutely railed by a Gryffindor’ glowing.”
Regulus scowled, jaw tightening further.
“Oh, come on,” Barty drawled, flopping backward onto Regulus’ bed. “You really thought you’d sneak around, pull a midnight tryst, and I wouldn’t notice? I heard you last night, and trust me, I passed the period where I dreamt about you moaning or entertained vivid fantasies. That shit was real as fuck.”
Regulus blushed. Straight up, honest-to-Merlin blushed.
Barty sat up so fast it was almost theatrical. “Holy shit. You’re blushing. Regulus Black is—this is historic. I didn’t think you were physically capable of that anymore. I need to find a fucking Pensieve. I will put it right next to the time you cried over a wounded hedgehog in third year.”
“I did not cry.”
“You absolutely did. But okay, fine, deflect all you want. I’ll still be right here making astute observations.” He paused, then grinned mischievously. “Well, well. So, he has some technique if he got you stealing Myrtle’s job. You go, Potter.”
Regulus buried his face in his hands with a muffled groan. “Merlin, please shut up.”
“Not a chance,” Barty said cheerfully. “Hey.” He nudged Regulus’ leg with his foot. “You alright, though?”
Regulus sighed, and though his cheeks were still tinged pink, his eyes were sharper now. More guarded.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I never imagined that we would ever be put in this…situation. He came last night to check on me, and it just… it got out of hand.”
Barty let the silence sit for a moment before he spoke again, quieter now. “You don’t usually let things get out of hand. That’s more my territory.”
“I know.” Regulus let out a breath that sounded far too close to tired. “That’s why it’s terrifying.”
Barty looked at him. Regulus Black, the boy born to burn for other people’s expectations, the boy with a spine made of steel and a heart wrapped in barbed wire. He’d loved him once, in the way seventeen-year-olds do, with too much intensity and too little timing. And even though they’d moved past it, even though Evan had filled a space in Barty that Regulus never could, there was still that tether between them. That understanding.
“Well, if it makes you feel better,” Barty said lightly, “I don’t think Potter’s the kind to mess around lightly. He’s too Gryffindor. Too earnest. Probably agonised over it for weeks.”
Regulus gave a tiny, reluctant laugh. “Years, actually.”
“Excuse you??” Barty’s eyes widened. “Ok, that I did not expect.”
“Sirius is going to kill me,” he whispered. “He’s going to tear me apart.”
Barty didn’t make a joke this time. His voice came out flat, decisive. “He’ll have to go through me first.”
Regulus looked at him sharply.
“I mean it,” Barty said. “I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t care how loud he gets or how dramatic he wants to be. You’re my friend. If he touches you, he answers to me.”
Regulus gave a soft huff. Not quite a laugh, not quite a sigh. “That’ll go over brilliantly.”
Barty didn’t smile. He just watched him. Carefully. Thoughtfully.
“What are you really afraid of, Reg?”
Regulus hesitated, then looked down at his hands, steady, pale, too fine for the weight they carried. His voice dropped low, quieter than before.
“I’m afraid I’ll get him killed.”
The words hung in the air like poison.
“I’m afraid they’ll see something I missed. A glance. A misstep. I’ve lived half my life around people who know how to read weakness like a map. And James, he’s not… he’s not trained for this. He doesn’t understand the way they watch. The way they wait.”
There was silence for a long beat.
“He’s a Gryffindor. They’re not supposed to be subtle,” Barty said gently.
Regulus’ mouth twisted. “That’s the problem.”
He rubbed a hand over his face, fingers catching in his hair. “The moment they start suspecting—Merlin, Barty, they’ll use him. They’ll hurt him just to hurt me.”
“So what?” Barty asked. “You think the solution is to push him away? Break his heart to save his life?”
“If it keeps him breathing,” Regulus said. “Then yes.”
“And what about you?” Barty asked. “What does it leave you with?”
Regulus looked away.
Barty sighed and leaned forward again, eyes dark and steady. “Listen. You’re not alone in this, alright? Not anymore.You don’t have to choose between surviving and feeling something, Reg. You deserve both. No one’s going to snitch. Not even Snape. The greasy little ferret wouldn’t dare lose the last two brain cells he has by pissing off both of us. Three with Evan.”
Regulus let out a slow breath, something loosening in his chest, though the fear still pulsed behind his ribs.
Barty looked at him a moment, eyes narrowing. “Still, what had you storming through the common room? I assume it wasn’t just internal guilt spiralling out of control. Though I must say, those are always a crowd-pleaser.”
Regulus hesitated, then looked up at him with that tired, guilt-ridden glint again. “I’m going to the armoury. With James.”
There was a full two seconds of silence before Barty blinked. “The armoury?”
Regulus nodded grimly. “I need to gather some weapons before tonight. Just in case they decide to level the playing field and take our wands out of the equation.”
“Right,” Barty said slowly. “And you decided to do that with one of the loudest Gryffindors to ever exist? You could’ve taken me. I’m charming, quiet, morally flexible—”
“I was initially planning to go alone,” Regulus interrupted, rubbing at his temple like the weight of everything was just starting to splinter his skull. “But I needed their bloody map. He almost made a scene in front of Remus, for fucks sake.”
Barty let out a low whistle, dragging a hand down his face. “Chivalry’s not dead, then. Just suicidal.”
“He's just stupid,” Regulus muttered darkly.
Barty snorted. “So let me see if I’ve got this right.” He lifted his hand and began to count off on his fingers. “You and Potter are going to sneak down to the restricted, highly-warded, definitely cursed section of the castle, unlock a vault of probably illegal weapons, not die, not get caught, avoid being mauled by an actual Death Eater patrol, not shag in some dusty, blood-soaked corridor filled with ancestral swords and unregistered spellfire—and make it back in time for the trial?”
He grinned like it was a perfectly reasonable plan.
“That,” he concluded, “sounds like a bloody masterpiece.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “You are deranged.”
Barty gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Possibly. Anyway,” he smirked in his direction, “want to tell me what exactly he did to make you look like that? Because I’ve got questions. And I’m very interested in details.”
“No, fuck off.”
Barty leaned closer, eyes glinting. “Was it soft? Was it angry? Did he call you pretty names or just bite your shoulder to shut you up?”
“Get. Out.”
“Oh, come on, Reg. I’ve earned this. I suffered through years of watching you pine while insisting you didn’t care. I even supported you when you lied to yourself and to me. I deserve a little payoff. A kiss-and-tell. Just a taste of the drama.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched.
“Out, Crouch.”
When Regulus returned to the common room, James was already waiting for him, a sheepish smile plastered on his face and the Marauder’s Map clutched awkwardly in one hand. Regulus’ eyes narrowed immediately, flicking down to the map, then back up at James. He looked like a first-year student about to be scolded for sneaking out after curfew.
“I don’t like this,” Sirius muttered from near the fireplace, arms crossed tightly across his chest. His eyes moved between them with barely concealed suspicion. “Whatever this is, I don’t trust it.”
“Good thing no one asked you anything,” Regulus snapped without looking at him. Sirius visibly bristled, his mouth twisting into something between a scowl and a warning.
James scratched the back of his neck, clearly wanting to sink into the floor.
“Anyone good with a specific type of weapon?” Regulus asked briskly, his voice sharp as he turned toward the group.
The girls exchanged uncertain glances. Marlene raised a skeptical eyebrow. Mary looked vaguely ill.
Dorcas was the one who raised her hand, her voice calm and sure. “Hatchet. I trained with one last summer.”
“Knife,” Remus added from where he was leaning against the bookshelf. “I can work with that.”
Regulus gave a curt nod. “Good. Let’s go.”
He turned and marched toward the exit, not sparing James another look. James followed anyway, trailing after him like a very guilty dog that had both eaten the biscuits and destroyed the couch.
The moment the portrait hole swung shut behind them and the silence of the corridor wrapped around them like a noose, Regulus stopped dead.
He turned so fast that James nearly ran into him.
“Alright,” Regulus said sharply, hand extended. “Show me the map.”
James blinked at him, then frowned. “Are you mad at me?”
“No.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Like you, you mean?” Regulus snapped, eyes flashing. “I asked you one thing, James. One fucking thing. And you did the exact opposite.”
James held up his hands defensively. “I’m sorry, okay? I panicked. I don’t know how to lie, or—or bloody pretend that nothing happened!”
“That’s exactly what you have to do!” Regulus hissed, stepping closer, voice low and furious. “Do you even understand what’s at stake here? This isn’t some bloody romantic drama where someone walks away heartbroken and writes about it in a diary. This is war.”
“I know what’s at stake.”
“No, you don’t,” Regulus snapped. “You blushed, James. You stuttered. Like some teenager caught with his dick out in a bloody broom closet. You can’t act like this. You can’t be like this.”
James’ jaw tightened. “Well, sorry I’m not some perfect little spy who can shut off every fucking feeling like a light switch.”
Regulus blinked once, then again, like the air had been knocked out of him. He brushed the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip, slowly, then looked away, jaw clenched tight.
“Oh, wow,” he said, softer now—almost to himself. His voice cracked faintly. “That was… yeah. I should’ve seen it coming.”
James took a step forward instinctively, hands half-raised like he could somehow catch the pieces of Regulus before they shattered.
“Reggie, I didn’t—” he exhaled shakily, eyes searching. “Shit. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Regulus laughed—sharp and humorless, bitter like poison.
“Of course, you did.” He turned to face him fully now, and something in his expression had gone raw. Stripped down. “That’s not fair, James. You knew exactly what you were walking into. You knew who I was. What this was. You chose this. You said you wanted me.”
“I do want you,” James shot back. “But I also want to keep you alive! And if pretending you don’t exist is the only way to do that, then fuck, forgive me for not being able to follow that rule.”
“Well, maybe you should learn!” Regulus’ voice cracked slightly. His hands were trembling. “Because if you can’t, they will use you. They’ll hurt you just to watch me fall.”
James took a shaky breath. “So what, Regulus? What are you saying? That we go back to pretending this is nothing? That I stop looking at you like I care? That I pretend I don’t?”
Regulus faltered for a moment. His shoulders dropped slightly, his voice quieter now, but no less sharp. “We’re doing what we can. That’s all we can do. But if you can't handle it—”
James stepped forward, closing the space between them. “Don’t,” he said, eyes locked on Regulus’. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
They stood there, chest to chest in the quiet corridor, hearts hammering, mouths tight with unsaid things. The silence that followed felt heavier than the shouting had.
“I am sorry, okay?” James said, finally, voice low and thick with sincerity. “I’ll be more careful. Look—” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of cloth. “Maybe you can forgive me faster.”
Regulus eyed it suspiciously. “What... is that? You brought me a rag?” His brows arched with disdain so sharp it could have cut the tension.
James just grinned and shook it out with a little theatrical flourish. “Not just any rag.” He threw it over his shoulders and vanished completely.
Regulus blinked. His breath hitched. “You’re fucking kidding me.”
James pulled the hood back and reappeared with a smirk. “Ta-da.”
Regulus stared, genuinely stunned. “How did you—where did you—Merlin’s soggy beard.” His voice rose with disbelief, but it was threaded with a kind of wonder too rare for his face.
“Family heirloom,” James said smugly. “You’re not the only one with fancy shit, sparrow.”
“This is…” Regulus looked genuinely shaken, but in a good way. His fingers reached out to touch the material, like he couldn’t believe it was real. “James, we can go everywhere with this. We can smuggle everything! Potions. Salves. Food. Anything I can get my hands on”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” James held up a hand. “No. We said just the armoury.”
Regulus gave him a flat look. “No. You said that. I said we have to be prepared. That means potions and painkillers. Everything. Fuck knows what we’re about to walk into. We have to be ready.”
James hesitated. “I just don’t want to push our luck. What if someone catches on—?”
“James.” Regulus stepped in close, grabbing his face in both hands, eyes blazing. “If you even think about getting noble and self-sacrificing right now, I will knock you unconscious, steal that cloak, and leave you drooling in the common room like a stunned flobberworm.”
James’ mouth parted slightly, his breath caught between a laugh and a growl. “Promise me you’ll do that after we get the supplies.”
Regulus mouth parted in utter disbelief. “My fucking God, Barty was right.”
“What?” James blinked.
“Nothing,” Regulus muttered, ears tinged pink. “Show me the map. We don’t have much time left.”
James bit back a grin and unfolded the parchment. He tapped it with his wand. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
The map shimmered to life beneath their fingers. Corridors and secret passages unfurled like veins across the paper, tiny names moving steadily along their paths. Regulus leaned closer, his expression shifting into focused calculation.
There’s Nott and Rabastan—East Wing, second floor. Far enough not to be a threat right now.” Regulus murmured.
James leaned closer, scanning. “Bellatrix and Narcissa are in the Defence classroom. Thank Merlin. Hopefully occupied.”
“That’s…impressive,” Regulus added after a moment, eyes tracing the intricate details. “Whose idea was this?”
“Moony’s,” James said, pride edging into his voice.
Regulus smiled faintly. “Of course. Remus always sees what the rest of you miss.”
James didn’t miss the soft admiration in his voice.
“What about the armoury?” he asked, tapping the dungeon sector.
Regulus pointed without hesitation. “There’s a narrow tunnel behind this tapestry on the fourth floor. Leads to service routes—crosses through the old wine cellars and comes out right near the armoury storage.”
James grinned. “Alright, so we go through the tapestry. Down the tunnel. Hit the armoury first.”
“Exactly. We grab what we can carry—don’t be stupid, we only take what we need. Then straight up to the hospital wing. I can take the wards down.”
“Wait—you can break hospital ward locks?” James asked, eyes wide. “How—”
Regulus smirked. “Do you really want to know how I learned that?”
James lifted his hands. “Right. Forget I asked.”
Regulus scanned the map again, then pointed to a blank square near the kitchen corridors. “This. This is our emergency fallback. The old Quarantine Room. No one uses it. There’s a service tunnel from the kitchens that ends there. It’s not on your map,” he clicked his tongue, “amateur mistake.”
James whistled. “Where the hell did you learn all this?”
“Don’t ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to,” Regulus replied, folding the map slightly. “Now, here—” he tapped the map again. “When we pass this hall, you have to be completely under the cloak. Yaxley’s been hovering around that corridor every time I raided the castle.”
“Got it.”
“You’re not taking any chances, Jamie. I mean it. If it’s between you and the mission, you run.”
James scoffed. “Yeah, right. Like I’m going to let you waltz around dungeons alone with Bellatrix floating around like a psychotic shadow.”
Regulus huffed. “You’re infuriating.”
“And yet you’re still here,” James said, leaning just a little closer. “Which makes you just as bad.”
Regulus didn’t deny it. “Try not to trip on your own ego while we’re down there.”
“No promises.”
Regulus slipped under the cloak beside James. It was roomy enough in theory, but in practice, every step brought them closer than comfort allowed. Regulus’ arm brushed James’ side. His shoulder bumped James’ again as they turned sharply down a narrow corridor. Their boots, carefully placed, barely made a sound, but the thundering in James’ chest was harder to silence.
“Third corridor ahead,” Regulus whispered, voice so close it ghosted over the curve of James’ ear. “There’s a Death Eater posted near the Charms classroom. Name’s Bletchley. He paces every seven minutes. We wait until he passes west, then we slip behind the tapestry.”
James nodded stiffly, holding the Marauder’s Map up between them like it could somehow shield him from the sudden heat pooling behind his collar. He tilted the parchment toward Regulus and tried not to focus on how the other boy leaned in, their cheeks nearly brushing.
Sure enough, Bletchley’s dot moved slowly away from them, heading west just as Regulus predicted.
James nodded silently and angled the map to check the pacing dot marked Bletchley. Sure enough, it moved steadily away from them.
“Now,” Regulus breathed.
They moved in unison, the motion so close it felt rehearsed. James brushed the heavy tapestry aside with the back of his hand, fingers accidentally grazing Regulus’. The contact sparked down his arm like static. Regulus didn’t flinch—just ducked through the narrow space, all grace and calm—and James followed, awkward in comparison, trying not to think too hard about how Regulus’ shoulder was pressed firmly against his chest now in the tight alcove.
The stone wall behind them was cold, but all James could feel was heat—low in his stomach, climbing up the back of his neck. Regulus leaned slightly to peek through a slit in the tapestry, close enough that James could smell the faint trace of smoke and something sharp lingering on his clothes.
They waited. Thirty seconds. A minute. Two. Then the soft, sharp click of footsteps on flagstone echoed from the corridor. The Death Eater passed just on the other side of the wall, and James instinctively held his breath.
Once the footsteps faded, Regulus exhaled slowly. “Go.”
They moved again, slipping from the alcove and continuing down the hall. Most of the castle was dark now, but in places the sconces still burned, casting long shadows down the corridors. They kept to the edges, hearts pounding with every distant sound: a classroom door creaking, the soft, eerie hum of a spell cast in another part of the castle, the faint murmur of voices they couldn’t place.
James bumped Regulus again as they turned a corner. “Sorry.”
Regulus stopped short when they neared the grand staircase, and James smacked into him.
“Ow—bloody hell—warn me next time!”
“Shh!” Regulus snapped, spinning on instinct and slapping a hand over James’ mouth, pinning him against the stone archway.
James froze, wide-eyed.
Regulus didn’t notice at first—too focused on the Map, the two glowing dots labeled Mulciber and Goyle posted motionless at the base of the stairs like stone gargoyles.
But then something shifted, something in the way James’ eyes weren’t on the map, weren’t on the guards, weren’t even on the danger. They were on him.
Heavy-lidded. Dilated. Wanting.
Regulus felt it in a jolt, like a live wire skimming just beneath his skin. James was breathing harder now, lips slightly parted under Regulus’ hand. His gaze darkened with something feral. Something that pulled low in Regulus’ gut.
And then James licked his palm, and Regulus faltered, only for a second, but his composure slipped just enough for James to notice. He retracted his hand, eyes flicking from James’ mouth to his eyes again.
“We don’t have time for this, James,” Regulus murmured, his voice low and tight.
“You’re the one who pinned me to a wall,” he whispered back, voice hoarse.
“You ran into me,” Regulus said coolly, though it came out shakier than he meant it to.
James arched an eyebrow, defiance flickering under the lust. “You’re not denying it, though.”
Regulus’ eyes narrowed.
And just like that, the tension cracked, but didn’t disappear. It settled thick in the air between them, smouldering like embers waiting for oxygen.
“There,” he cleared his throat and pointed to a narrow spiral stair tucked behind a forgotten statue on the fifth floor. “It connects to the wine cellars. It’s dusty, but it’s clear.”
James looked at him. “You sure?”
Regulus gave him a look. “Please. I’ve snuck into the kitchens more times than you’ve had detentions.”
“That’s not even remotely true,” James muttered, following him as they crept toward the stairs.
They climbed the side stairs quickly, quietly, every step a small act of treason. Once they reached the hidden door—half-covered by a rusted suit of armour—Regulus pushed it open with a groan. The staircase inside smelled of damp earth.
“Stay close,” Regulus said, ducking inside.
“I am literally breathing down your neck,” James deadpanned.
They descended into the cellars, the temperature dropping with every step. The corridor down here was damp and narrow. Regulus guided them without hesitation, twisting through the winding halls with the confidence of someone who had once been desperate to know every escape route the castle held.
Finally, they reached a thick wooden door sealed with dark iron runes.
“Armoury,” Regulus murmured, brushing his fingers over the lock. “Give me a second.”
James hovered behind him, watching the runes shift faintly under Regulus’ touch, and tried not to focus on how unfair it was for someone to look that graceful while committing several crimes.
Inside, shelves lined the walls—stacked with enchanted blades, throwing daggers, defensive trinkets, and even a battered suit of cursed armour in the corner.
“Take only what we need,” Regulus reminded him. “Anything cursed stays. And if you see anything that looks like it’s whispering, leave it the fuck alone.”
James, crouched near a shelf lined with helmets, looked up with a grin. “You’re hot when you’re bossy.”
Regulus didn’t even glance at him. “And you’re an idiot when you talk.”
“Still hot, though,” James added, plucking a gleaming dagger off the shelf before it hissed softly, the blade twitching. He immediately dropped it back into its slot. “Okay. That one’s whispering. Noted.”
“Congratulations,” Regulus said dryly. “You’ve finally developed pattern recognition. A true academic breakthrough.”
James smirked and leaned back against the shelf, watching Regulus appraise a throwing knife with an expression that was far too serious for someone wielding something so sharp.
“Seriously, though. The way you command a room and keep threatening me? Gets the blood flowing. Among other things.”
Regulus turned to him slowly, arching a perfect brow. “James, I could kill you in seven different ways with this dagger and make it look like an unfortunate accident.”
“That’s what makes it sexy,” James whispered, eyes wide with faux reverence.
“Oh my God.” Regulus shook his head and turned back to the shelf. “No wonder Remus is always two seconds away from flinging himself off a balcony. You’re unbearable.”
“And yet, here you are. Under a cloak with me. Plotting mischief. Picking out weapons. It’s practically a date.”
Regulus gave him a withering look. “A date? In a dusty, probably cursed basement full of knives and questionable relics? This is your idea of courtship?”
“Well, yeah,” James said easily. “Swords, sneaking around, deadly flirting—it’s basically foreplay.”
“You’re deranged.”
“You didn’t say that last night.”
Regulus groaned. “If I hex your mouth shut right now, I think the world would throw me a parade.”
James looked far too pleased with himself. “Only if you kiss me after. Plus, you definitely didn't complain about my mouth last night.”
Regulus smirked, finally letting himself glance sideways at James. “Tell me, does your flirting always include a potential felony? Or is that special treatment?”
“Only for the ones I’m desperately trying to impress,” James said, stepping a little closer. “And you, Regulus Black, are absolutely worth breaking into a castle’s restricted armoury for.”
“Oh, stop,” Regulus said, as he rolled his eyes. “Before I accidentally stab you with something sharp and regret nothing.”
“Fair warning, I might moan just to mess with you.”
“Do, and I’ll make sure the dagger actually slips.”
James bit his lip, eyes dropping to Regulus’ mouth. “Kinky.”
“You need help,” Regulus muttered, biting back a smile. He turned and pulled open a drawer, and began checking the balance of several blades. James grabbed a few throwing knives, testing their grip, then eyed a wand holster, weighing it in his palm. He stole a glance back at Regulus, who was still pretending not to notice the way James kept orbiting closer.
“We’ve got about ten minutes before that patrol circles back,” Regulus said, already moving to the next shelf.
“Copy that,” James replied, slipping a few items into the magically expanded bag they’d brought. “After this, hospital wing?”
“Straight there,” Regulus nodded. “And don’t look so proud of yourself, Potter. We’re still sneaking around under your rag cloak like idiots.”
James grinned. “Yeah, but clever idiots.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “We’ll see how clever you are when we have to smuggle out a dozen phials of Skele-Gro under your shirt.”
James tilted his head, eyes glinting. “You just want an excuse to touch me.”
Regulus didn’t answer at first—he just gave him a flat look, one eyebrow raised in unimpressed disapproval. Or maybe practiced disapproval, because there was definitely the hint of a twitch at the corner of his mouth. Still, he huffed and turned away to close the enchanted weapon case. “You’re relentless.”
“And you love it.”
“I tolerate it.”
“You didn’t tolerate it last night.”
Regulus froze.
His hand paused over the lock, shoulders tensing just the slightest bit, and when he turned his head, there was a very faint flush rising beneath the sharp line of his cheekbones.
He scoffed. “You are so full of yourself.”
James stepped closer, slow and deliberate, the grin on his face softening just a touch. He leaned in until Regulus could feel his breath brushing the sensitive skin just under his ear—warm and maddeningly deliberate.
“But you make the prettiest sounds when you forget to hate me,” James whispered, low and reverent.
Regulus inhaled sharply, eyes fluttering shut for half a second before he schooled his face back into its usual detached calm. Almost. His fingers clenched briefly at his sides, like he was resisting the urge to either hex James or push him against the closest wall. Possibly both.
“I will hex your tongue off,” he said, voice suspiciously husky.
James only chuckled, low and dark, and stepped in fully now, eliminating what little space was left between them. “Tempting,” he murmured, lips brushing so close to Regulus’ skin that it was more breath than voice, “but then how would I be able to do this—”
He pressed a lingering kiss to the curve of Regulus’ neck, slow and warm and maddeningly soft. Regulus let out a breath that caught in his throat and twisted midway—half-sigh, half-moan, wholly betrayed by his own body. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to smother it, eyes flicking up toward the ceiling like he might find patience carved into the stone.
But James wasn’t done.
He ghosted another kiss higher up, this time just under Regulus’ jaw—feather-light but loaded with suggestion. Then he let his nose nudge gently beneath Regulus’ ear, nipping the lobe once, barely grazing with teeth, just enough to make Regulus flinch, and not in a way that meant he wanted him to stop. He was holding himself still, and that more than anything lit James up like Christmas.
“Still want to hex me?” James whispered, dragging his tongue over the column of Regulus’ neck. He made a soft, involuntary noise, and James took it as permission. One hand rose, not quite touching, but hovering dangerously close. His fingers skimmed along the line of Regulus’ ribs, through the thin fabric of his shirt, never quite making contact, just a whisper of motion, just enough to tease.
“You’re trembling,” James breathed, smug and reverent all at once.
“I am not,” Regulus gritted out, though the lie was paper-thin. His voice cracked on the last word, and he turned his face away like he could hide the heat crawling up his neck. His ears were flushed, a deep shade of red that James found entirely endearing.
James moved again, slow and smug, mouth brushing just beside his temple now. “You are. Just a little. It’s adorable.”
“If you don’t shut up—”
“You’ll hex me. I know.” James grinned, teeth flashing. “But maybe wait ‘til after I get you panting again.”
Regulus let out a sound like a growl when James’ fingers finally touched him, just to pull away with a grin that could only be described as filthy.
“I think our ten minutes passed, love,” he whispered. “Wouldn’t want the Death Eaters to catch us here.”
Regulus turned away abruptly, ears scarlet, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like insufferable bastard as he snatched the bag off the floor.
James followed with that smug, satisfied strut of someone who’d won a small, private war.
Under the cloak once more, the only sound between them for a few seconds was their quiet footsteps echoing in the corridor—until Regulus whispered without looking at him, “If you ever pull that shit again when we’re trying to avoid being killed, I’ll kill you myself.”
James smirked. “Noted. But you didn’t say don’t do it again.”
Regulus elbowed him in the ribs and silently continued to walk through the corridors. As they rounded another corner, they came to a halt as two voices echoed through the corridor ahead.
They pressed into the shadows of an alcove, holding their breath.
“…told me about your little altercation,” Lucius Malfoy drawled, his tone clipped and self-satisfied, like someone recounting gossip over brandy.
Orion Black stood opposite him, arms folded behind his back, every inch the composed patriarch, but his eyes were hard.
“Your wife should know her place,” Orion said flatly, like he was commenting on the weather. “She speaks too freely these days.”
James stiffened beside Regulus, muscles coiling like springs. Regulus didn't need to look at him to feel it—he could practically hear the grinding of James’ teeth.
Lucius made a soft, smug hum. “You’ll forgive my curiosity, of course. I noticed your son is becoming… unruly. Headstrong.”
“He is irrelevant,” Orion replied. “I offered him a way out and he refused it.”
“You don’t worry what might happen at the trial?”
“I expect something to happen,” Orion said, and there was no emotion in his voice—just cold arithmetic. “He’s weak. If he dies in the crossfire, it’s one less problem for me.”
James made a strangled noise low in his throat—quiet, but trembling with rage.
Regulus’ hand shot out and caught his, gripping tight.
No, he mouthed, shaking his head.
James turned to him, eyes burning. Regulus just stared, face pale but calm, composed in that sharp, self-made way that James had grown to recognize: the same armour he wore every time someone tried to tear him down.
Regulus squeezed his hand once, firmly.
They waited in tense silence as the conversation moved on, the men’s voices drifting down the corridor and finally vanishing into one of the side chambers.
Only when they were sure they were alone again did Regulus tug lightly on James’ sleeve and start walking once more, wordless.
The silence between them stretched for a moment before James finally broke it, his voice barely a whisper.
“I swear, Reg, if I ever see him lay a hand on you—”
“You won’t,” Regulus said sharply, but then, softer, “Because I won’t let him.”
James’ hand found his again under the cloak, and this time, Regulus didn’t pull away.
They moved quickly now, ducking into side passages, navigating by the shifting names on the map still clutched in James’ free hand. When the entrance to the hospital wing finally came into view, James exhaled deeply.
“You okay?” he murmured.
Regulus was quiet for a beat. Then, in a voice so low James almost missed it: “I stopped expecting anything from him years ago. I’d rather focus on surviving.”
James gave his hand a squeeze. “Then let’s survive, yeah? Steal some potions. Make a dramatic escape. Maybe a kiss or two in between.”
Regulus gave him a sidelong look. “And you call me dramatic.”
They slipped into the infirmary without another word, shadows swallowing them whole.
James slipped through the door first, and Regulus followed closely behind, heading straight for Madam Pomfrey’s storage cabinets. With careful precision, they began their silent raid.
“Essence of Dittany,” Regulus muttered, snatching two vials and holding them up to the faint light. “Take the rest of these. We’ll need them for burns.”
James nodded and added them to their bag. “Blood-Replenishing?”
“Top shelf. No, the dark red ones—don’t mix those up with the Dreamless Sleep. We don’t need anyone unconscious for a week.”
James chuckled, sorting vials as Regulus flitted from cabinet to cabinet like a shadow. He moved with practiced ease, his fingers quick and sure, his mind calculating exactly what they’d need and what they could carry.
“Take as much Murtlap Essence as you can find.”
As James opened another drawer and started stuffing gauze and burn paste into the pack, Regulus paused in front of a locked case behind Madam Pomfrey’s desk. He whispered a charm, the click faint but clear. Inside, nestled among dark green velvet, sat a tiny vial—black glass, sealed with wax, labelled in elegant, almost reverent script:
Basilisk Venom.
His breath hitched for the barest moment. Carefully, deliberately, he slipped it into the inner lining of his cloak. He didn’t glance at James, who was too busy weighing whether it was worth trying to sneak a half-full bottle of Skele-Gro that looked like it might leak. He didn’t need questions right now. Not about this.
“Hey,” James said suddenly, standing up and stretching his back with a groan. “Remember when you were hit by that Quaffle during the finals?”
Regulus didn’t even look up from where he was re-tying a bundle of bandages. “You mean when you sent the Quaffle in my direction?”
James blinked, grinning. “I mean… You were in the way! I wasn’t aiming at you, exactly—”
“Oh, right,” Regulus deadpanned, turning slowly. “I was in the way. Of the Quaffle you threw. Directly at my head.”
“Well, irrelevant details.” James waved a hand dismissively, his grin shameless.
“Irrelevant?” Regulus scoffed. “Irrelevant? I was hospitalised for two days!”
“You got more sleep than anyone during N.E.W.T. prep,” James countered. “And more mince pie, too.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “That was… wait—” His gaze sharpened. “How do you know about that?”
James shrugged, caught between smugness and bashful guilt. “I felt bad. So… yeah. I asked my mum to bake some and told Pomfrey it was from the kitchens.”
Regulus blinked at him, genuinely thrown. “You bribed the matron with Euphemia Potter’s mince pies? That’s low, even for you.”
“Hey, she loved them,” James smirked. “Said they were the only reason she didn’t hex me into the next Quidditch season.”
“You’re unbelievable,” Regulus muttered, turning back toward the shelves.
James grinned and stepped closer, brushing his fingers against Regulus’ wrist. “You liked the pie, though. I saw you sneaking thirds.”
Regulus, already rummaging through a lower drawer, paused. “I was injured.”
“And healing beautifully.”
Regulus’ ears turned pink. “If you’re going to flirt, at least do it while grabbing the disinfectant, you menace.”
James snickered, but obeyed. “You wound me, Black.”
“Only if I’m lucky.”
As they packed the last of the phials and tucked the bag shut, Regulus finally looked at James again—slightly flushed, but hiding it well.
“They were excellent,” Regulus whispered, almost like a confession. “Mother never allowed us sweets. Said they were for common children with no self-control.” He huffed a dry laugh. “Sirius used to sneak some when we were little. Hid chocolate frogs in the lining of his robes when he came home for Christmas.”
James’ grin faltered, his chest tightening at the image of the two Black brothers—smaller, quieter, still trying to carve out pieces of comfort from under the iron grip of Walburga’s rule.
Regulus gave a tight smile, though his eyes lingered on the dusty shelf in front of him like he was seeing something far away. “He used to pretend we were Aurors on missions. Called it Operation Sweet Tooth. Told me the chocolate frogs were enchanted—said if I saved enough, they’d come alive and eat Mother.”
James snorted before he could stop himself. “Please tell me you believed him.”
“I was ten.” Regulus shrugged, but his voice held the trace of a smile. “And desperate to believe something.”
There was a beat of quiet between them as the past settled over the space like mist. James reached out, fingers brushing the back of Regulus’ hand, brief but steady.
“Well,” he said softly, “you’ve come a long way from saving frogs.”
Regulus met his gaze. “Now I’m saving idiots who forget to grab healing salves.”
“Oh, don’t pretend you’re not having fun,” James teased, stepping just a little closer. “You get to boss me around and hoard potions.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Careful, Potter. That mouth’s going to get you in trouble.”
“Promise?” James whispered, voice low and dangerous. His breath ghosted against Regulus’ cheek.
Regulus’ heart stuttered. His composure wavered, just slightly.
“…Let’s get out of here before you say something even dumber,” he muttered, spinning on his heel—but not fast enough to hide the pink blooming at the tips of his ears.
Behind him, James smirked like a man entirely too pleased with himself.
“Lead the way, love.”
The corridor ahead was too quiet, but James felt the change before he saw anything. Regulus’ hand tensed around his arm, his steps faltering mid-stride beneath the cloak.
They rounded the corner slowly, only to stop dead.
Antonin Dolohov was standing in the middle of the hallway like he had been waiting for something… or someone. The flickering torchlight cast long, grotesque shadows over his face, catching on the jagged scar that tore through his jaw. His wand was already out, loosely gripped in his fingers, but the way his eyes flicked around the corridor, sharp and searching, made it clear: he wasn’t relaxed.
He was hunting.
Regulus instinctively shifted in front of James, a silent command, and took a step back into the shadows, drawing James with him by the wrist. The map was folded hastily between them, clenched in James’ fist. Neither of them dared breathe too loudly.
But Dolohov’s head snapped in their direction, and James’ heart stopped.
There hadn’t been a sound. Not a footstep, not even a whisper. But Dolohov’s eyes had locked onto the space they occupied like a predator scenting prey. His head tilted slightly, and his nostrils flared. Then, almost too softly to hear, he spoke.
“I can smell you.”
Regulus’ heart thundered in his chest.
Shit.
The voice was low, guttural, laced with something dark and old—something inhuman. He smiled, and it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Little rats… crawling through the walls.”
He couldn’t tell if the man saw a flicker under the cloak, or if it was instinct, but his wand was now pointed directly at them.
James flinched behind him, but didn’t speak.
In one swift, practiced motion, Regulus reached for the sheath strapped to his thigh and unsheathed his knife, pressing the blade flat against his side as he slipped his arm behind James and shoved him back. The movement was silent but urgent, sharp with a message that screamed: Get behind me. Now.
James hesitated for half a second, then obeyed.
Regulus steadied his grip, jaw locked so tight it ached, eyes fixed on Dolohov. He could feel James’ breath behind him—too fast, too hot against the back of his neck. If Dolohov cast a wide spell, even a Revealment Charm, the cloak wouldn’t be enough. They’d be dead. James would be dead, and it would be his fault.
His jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. He could feel James’ breath on the back of his neck—too fast, too loud.
Dolohov stepped forward. The torchlight shifted.
Regulus held the knife tighter, heart slamming in his throat.
Not him. Take me, not him.
Dolohov stopped again, and his eyes narrowed. He raised his wand.
Regulus nearly lunged.
But before the spell could leave his lips, a loud crack echoed from another hallway, and Dolohov snapped his head toward the sound like a hound catching a scent, eyes narrowing. Then without a word, he turned and stalked down the hall, robes snapping behind him.
James didn’t breathe for a full five seconds. Neither did Regulus.
Then, finally, slowly, Regulus lowered the knife. His hand was shaking.
“Fuck,” James whispered, voice so low it was barely audible.
Regulus didn’t answer. He seized James by the front of his robes, fingers twisting in the fabric, and yanked him sideways so fast it nearly knocked the wind out of both of them. They disappeared behind a dusty, moth-eaten tapestry that hung crooked off the wall, the cloth shuddering as it fell back into place behind them. The alcove was narrow, choked with cobwebs and stone dust, the air heavy and damp with silence.
Regulus shoved James back against the wall, harder than he meant to, but he didn’t stop. His chest was heaving, eyes wide and glassy, wild with too many thoughts crashing too quickly to contain. His heart hadn’t slowed. His blade was still in his hand. His whole body vibrated like it couldn’t decide whether to collapse or explode.
“You don’t speak,” he hissed, the words broken into shards by his ragged breath. “Not when someone like him is that close. You don’t—” he gestured wildly, his voice catching. “You don’t breathe loud. You don’t blink. You don’t exist.”
James blinked anyway, stunned. “I didn’t. I—I didn’t do anything.”
“You should’ve stayed in the fucking tower,” Regulus snapped, too fast, too sharp. The edge in his voice wasn’t just anger; it was terror stretched thin, crackling through every syllable. “I told you to stay. What if he had seen us, James? What if he had cast Revelio? Or worse? He would’ve killed you. Do you understand that? No words, no warnings. You’d be dead.”
His hand still gripped the knife like it was the only thing anchoring him to reality, knuckles pale, wrist taut with tension. The blade caught a sliver of torchlight slipping through the folds of tapestry, just enough to gleam like something sinister. James stared at him, not at the knife, but at him, at the way Regulus stood braced like he was still preparing for impact. His face was flushed and flickering with too many emotions, too fast: fury, horror, disbelief, something fragile that looked like guilt curling under it all.
James saw it. Saw all of it, and something in his chest ached.
Gently, so gently it was almost reverent, he reached up and curled his fingers around Regulus’ wrist, warm skin meeting clammy, ice-cold panic. With slow, deliberate pressure, he eased the blade down, coaxing it away from his side, from whatever storm was still tearing through Regulus’ mind.
“I’m okay,” he said quietly, voice soft like velvet, like a hand brushing over bruised skin. “We’re okay.”
But Regulus didn’t answer. Couldn’t. His breath came fast and shallow, chest rising and falling like he’d run miles with a weight on his back. His eyes were locked onto James’ like he was trying to memorize every detail before something ripped him away. He looked like he was still there—in the hallway, in the heat of it, seeing Dolohov’s wand rise again and again in his mind.
James stepped closer, slow and sure, closing the last inches between them until their chests brushed, and Regulus’ composure shuddered visibly at the seams.
“Nothing happened,” James murmured, voice pitched just above a whisper, close enough now that his breath warmed the shell of Regulus’ ear. “You were ready to gut a Death Eater barehanded. Can’t lie… bit of a turn-on.”
A soft, strangled sound escaped Regulus, half a laugh, half something more feral, unsteady, and sharp at the edges. His eyes squeezed shut, and for one impossible moment, he looked like he might break entirely.
“You’re an idiot,” he whispered, voice hoarse and trembling, no real fire behind the words, just exhaustion and fear and that hollow sort of relief that always comes a second too late.
James leaned in, mouth brushing beneath Regulus’ jaw, a kiss as light as breath pressed into skin still burning with adrenaline. His hand stayed on Regulus’ wrist, grounding him.
“I’m here,” he whispered over his skin. Softer this time. Almost like a promise.
Regulus grabbed James by the collar with both hands, fists trembling as they twisted in the fabric, and then he kissed him. Hard.
It wasn’t gentle. There was no softness in it, no hesitation. Just heat and teeth and fury and breathless, crushing relief, all of it pouring out of him in a torrent he couldn’t contain. Just want, and need, and you’re alive crashing together in the bruising press of his mouth.
James made a startled, strangled sound, but Regulus didn’t care; he didn’t hear. His blood was a roar in his ears, a tide that drowned out everything but the taste of James’ mouth and the heat of his skin. He let go of the collar only to bury both hands in his hair, yanking, clutching, clawing him closer as though James might dissolve into smoke if he didn’t hold tight enough.
James gasped against him, and Regulus took the opportunity to bite down on his lip—not enough to draw blood, but close. Close enough that James groaned, low and wrecked, and Regulus swallowed it like oxygen.
The shaking in Regulus’ hands hadn’t stopped, and it wasn’t adrenaline anymore. It was fear. Rage. Possession.
Mine, something in him screamed. Mineminemine.
When James’ arms circled his waist, trying to slow the momentum, Regulus shoved him hard into the wall behind them, the tapestry rustling violently as stone met spine. James cursed, breathless, not protesting. Just there, letting Regulus use his mouth like a lifeline and a weapon all at once.
He finally tore away with a gasp, lips red and kiss-bruised, pupils blown wide. But even then, he didn’t let go. His hands stayed in James’ hair, gripping tight at the roots, holding his head in place.
James barely managed a breath. “Is this your version of ‘thank you for not dying’?”
Regulus’ eyes were wild, his chest heaving. “If you speak,” he rasped, voice hoarse and cracked like something was breaking loose inside him, “I will stab you with the same knife I almost used on Dolohov.”
And James, the absolute bastard, grinned. “Is it weird that I find that hot?”
“Deeply,” Regulus muttered, but his voice cracked on the word, hoarse and frayed.
James leaned in again, slower this time. He whispered something wildly indecent against Regulus’ ear—low and sinful, his breath warm on skin still flushed from fear. Regulus’ eyes glinted with mischief, his hands trailing deliberately over James’ chest, fingertips pressing lightly but with unmistakable intent. He wasn’t searching for reassurance anymore; he was claiming space, making sure James felt every inch of it. His touch was maddening in its restraint, tracing the path of James’ collarbone, then down his chest, fingertips gliding over fabric with just enough pressure to leave him aching for more.
James’ breath caught in his throat.
Regulus’ hands moved lower, slower, pausing here and there like he was memorizing him by feel alone. His gaze never left James’ face, watching, calculating, and just a little cruel in how much control he still held despite the wreckage of panic and adrenaline still pulsing in both their veins.
James tried to shift, but before he could move an inch, Regulus’ hand moved, fast and fluid, and his fingers curled around James’ throat—not hard, not punishing, but firm, a silent command that rooted James in place. The touch was warm, thumb brushing idly over the curve of his jaw, as if memorizing the way his heart felt under his fingers. James’ eyes widened, a sharp inhale rattling through him as Regulus’ other hand began to move—slowly, with a deliberateness that felt perilously close to sin.
It trailed down his chest again, knuckles grazing through the fabric, pausing just above the waistband of his trousers. Not touching—not quite—but close enough that James’ lungs forgot how to work properly.
Regulus’ finger traced along the waistband of James’ trousers, just barely dipping under the fabric—only to pull away, slow and deliberate. James’ fingers twitched, like he wanted to reach out, but Regulus slapped his hand away.
“Let me touch you,” James whispered, the words slipping out raw and urgent, his lips brushing against Regulus’ with the kind of plea that stripped him bare. “Please.”
Regulus stared at him—hard. Hungry. Haunted. His jaw clenched as he bit down on his lower lip, like he was physically holding something back, something sharp and volatile and close to breaking. His entire body was tense, like one wrong move and he'd snap—not away from James, but into him. Devour him. Destroy him.
“Consider this your punishment,” Regulus said at last, his voice low and thick, tinged with dangerous amusement. “For what you pulled in the armoury.”
He leaned in closer, breath ghosting against James’ mouth, and added, “Hands off, James.”
The sound of his name like that, so precise, so quiet, so Regulus, sent something spiralling through James’ chest. A smirk tried to tug at the corner of his lips, but Regulus’ hand tightened just a fraction at his throat, a reminder, not a threat. Just enough to say you’re mine.
He wasn’t pinning James down, not really, but rather holding him there, present, exposed, seen. The heat in his eyes was molten.
The wall at James’ back was cold, almost painfully so, but Regulus’ body pressed in close, warm and unrelenting. The contrast made every nerve in James’ skin buzz, made him too aware of the steady weight of Regulus’ touch and the unbearable space between what they were doing and what they both wanted.
“Aren’t you a beautiful mess,” Regulus murmured, voice barely above a breath, rough and velvet-edged, something dangerous laced through it. His eyes dragged slowly over James’ face, lingering on the flush in his cheeks, the parted lips, the unfocused, pleading look in his eyes. It wasn’t triumph in Regulus’ expression. It was hunger. Controlled, careful, but barely.
His hand traced a path back down James’ torso, slow enough to burn, and when his fingers finally brushed against bare skin beneath the shirt, it was with the lightest pressure—so soft it ached. James shivered, chest rising in a stuttering breath, and then Regulus pulled away, just enough to break contact. Just enough to starve him of it.
James let out a sound halfway between a breath and a curse, eyes snapping open in protest. His voice came low, urgent, needy.
“Don’t stop,” he breathed, looking up like he could pull Regulus back with his gaze alone. “Please… just a little longer.”
Regulus’ fingers ghosted up to his jaw again, feather-light. “You always beg so pretty,” he murmured.
And then his mouth found James’ again. It started slow, but the moment James responded, leaning in with a broken gasp and a tremor in his grip, the dam gave way. The kiss deepened like it had been waiting for a crack to split open. Tongues met in slow, searing sweeps, a collision that pulled a low, helpless moan from James’ throat.
Regulus loosed his hold of James, and his fingers slid beneath Regulus’ shirt, feeling warm skin, the tremble in his muscles, the slight curve of his ribs. He held on tight, as if anchoring them both, as if letting go would mean falling into something they couldn’t climb out of. Regulus’ hands moved down his back, mapping out the shape of him, fingers digging in his skin.
A low, barely contained growl vibrated in Regulus’ chest when he nipped at James’ bottom lip and felt him melt into the kiss. It was a sound that felt almost involuntary, like the sound of something cracking just beneath the surface.
Their bodies pressed closer, chest to chest, hip to hip, breaths mingling and gasping as the heat between them became suffocating in the best possible way. James gripped the back of Regulus’ neck like it might vanish if he didn’t hold it tight enough. Every touch, every kiss, burned hotter than the last.
And yet, beneath the hunger, beneath the fire, there was that urgency again. That whispered reminder that this moment wasn’t promised. That it was stolen, fragile, held together by silence and shadows.
James broke the kiss only long enough to look at him. Regulus’ face was flushed, his hair slightly dishevelled, lips swollen and glistening with spit, pupils blown wide. Beautiful, James thought, wildly, reverently. So fucking beautiful.
“Don’t stop,” James whispered again, breath catching in his throat.
Regulus’ lips parted in a slow, wicked smile—mischief and ache and want etched into every line of him. And then he kissed him again, harder this time. Fierce. Intimate. Not to dominate, but to claim, to feel, to remember.
And James let him. Because being claimed by Regulus Black didn’t feel like giving up. It felt like belonging. Like finally being seen, bare and blood-warm and wanted.
Regulus stepped back all at once, the loss of contact as jarring as a slap. James let out a low, frustrated sound, breath catching, body still strung tight with need. He reached out instinctively, chasing the heat that had just been there, but Regulus was already moving, already slipping from his grasp.
He paused just out of reach, eyes gleaming, a slow, wicked grin curling at the corners of his mouth as he took in the sight of James: flushed, panting, dazed. Clothes rumpled, hair a mess from Regulus’ fingers, lips red and swollen from too much kissing. Regulus drank in the sight like it was fine wine.
“What did you say earlier?” Regulus asked, voice smooth and dangerous, laced with mock thoughtfulness. “Something about my ten minutes being up?” He tilted his head, pretending to ponder. “Hmm… I suppose that makes it your turn now.”
James blinked, confused for a second, still drunk off the taste of him. “Wait—what?”
But Regulus just stepped closer again, hands light and teasing as they skimmed over James’ chest—palms flat against his shirt, tracing down, down, until James’ hips jerked forward with a low, involuntary groan.
His fingers hovered at the waistband of James’ trousers. Dipped just beneath, heat curling there like a promise with teeth… and then stopped. Just there. Skin to skin, but barely. Close enough to make James’ knees go weak, not close enough to offer relief.
James shuddered, breathing hard. “Regulus,” he warned, voice rough and shaking with restraint. “If you don’t—”
Regulus cut him off with a slow, smug hum. “You wanted me to take the lead,” he said simply, dark eyes glinting. “You said please, remember?”
And then he leaned in and kissed the corner of James’ mouth. It was the most devastating kiss James had ever known, not because it was heated, but because it wasn’t. Because it was gentle while his whole body was unravelling. Because Regulus could destroy him, and was choosing instead to make him beg for it.
His hand didn’t move. Just stayed right where it was, cruelly still, a single breath away from wrecking him completely.
James trembled under the weight of it, head falling back against the wall with a quiet thud, eyes squeezed shut. “You are evil,” he hissed.
Regulus laughed, low and unrepentant. “You’ve barely scratched the surface.”
And just when James thought he’d finally break, when he was sure Regulus would give in and do something, the bastard pulled his hand away completely.
James gasped, practically whining at the loss, hips bucking uselessly against empty air. “No—Regulus—what the fuck—”
But Regulus was already reaching for the edge of the cloak, grabbing the fabric with a casual flick of his wrist.
“I think we’re done here,” he said breezily, clearly enjoying every second of James’ stunned outrage. He pushed the moth-eaten tapestry aside and stepped out into the corridor like he hadn’t just lit James up from the inside and left him burning.
“Regulus— don’t you fucking dare—” James growled from behind him, voice breaking around the edges.
Regulus turned back just once, walking backward now, a smirk ghosting across his lips as he disappeared under the cloak. “Cool off, Potter,” he said with a wink. “You’ve got a mission to focus on.”
And then he was gone, leaving James behind—hot, hard, half-wrecked, and thoroughly ruined.
James stood there for several long seconds, fists clenched, jaw tight, trying to get a grip on himself, on anything, and failing spectacularly.
He had barely taken two steps out from behind the tapestry, still muttering murderously under his breath, when Regulus’ hand grabbed him and dragged him under the cloak.
Chapter 14: First Trial
Summary:
Soooo I THINK the AO3 curse finally got me because this week has been straight-up demonic and my ear hurts like hell 🤡
The good part (???) is that insomnia’s a bitch and decided to pay me another visit, so I figured maybe this little symbiosis might finally work out. And yeah… last night I finished writing in one sitting Chapter 26 (20 pages who??), and that shit turned out crazy af
ANYWAY, there you are, my lovely readers (I love you all deeply and wait for your comments like a Victorian wife staring longingly at the sea — silent tears, dramatic sighs, the whole thing)
Notes:
Strange Brew- Cream
Dream On- Aerosmith
Chapter Text
They reached the portrait hole at the end of the corridor, and Regulus came to a sharp halt. Without warning, he pivoted on his heel and jabbed a pointed finger directly into the centre of James’ chest with enough force to make him stagger a step back.
“Behave,” he hissed, voice low but firm.
James blinked, taken aback and clearly offended, brows lifting as he recoiled with exaggerated indignation. “Me?” he gasped, hands flinging out in theatrical protest, his voice rising in mock agony. “You’re accusing me of misconduct? You were the one who saw fit to molest me in a public corridor!”
Regulus rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it hurt. “Big baby,” he muttered, brushing past him toward the entrance. “Complaining already?”
"You left me half-hard, panting, and dishevelled beneath a moth-eaten tapestry!” James hissed after him, trailing him like an outraged ghost. “And now I’m the problem?”
“I dragged you under the cloak, saved both our arses, and stopped you from having a spectacularly ill-timed orgasm. We both know how loud you can get,” Regulus shot back coolly over his shoulder. “You’re welcome.”
James gasped, scandalised.
“Oh, thank you, Saint Regulus, saviour of wayward Gryffindors everywhere.”
Regulus’ lips twitched, just barely, like he was trying not to smile. “You’re welcome,” he said primly, brushing past him as if nothing had happened.
James clutched his chest theatrically. “My virtue—”
“Still intact. Regrettably.” Regulus shot him a dark, pointed look.
James caught up to him with a huff. “Regrettably? Excuse you, I am a prize.”
“A prized headache, maybe.”
James clicked his tongue. “You act like you’re immune to the Potter charm.”
Regulus didn’t slow his stride. “Please. I’ve seen flobberworms with more compelling mating displays.”
James scoffed, mock-offended. “That’s rich, coming from someone who actually became putty in my hands the moment I kissed your neck.”
Regulus visibly stiffened. “I did not.”
“You made a sound,” James sing-songed, smirking. “It was very breathy.”
“I choked.”
“On desire,” James added helpfully, practically skipping beside him now.
“At this point, I think you just like the sound of your own voice.”
“I like the sound of your voice,” James replied smoothly. “Especially when you say my name. Or swear at me. Or moan when I—”
“Potter,” Regulus warned, clearly flustered now.
James grinned, absolutely delighted. “There it is. That little waver in your voice. I live for that.”
Regulus opened his mouth for a retort, eyes narrowing—but the second they stepped over the threshold into the Gryffindor common room, the energy changed.
The atmosphere, which had moments ago been charged with bickering and flirtation, thickened like smoke. Warm firelight flickered across stony walls, but the room felt far from welcoming. Tension clung to the air like static. Every head turned in perfect unison, a dozen sets of eyes narrowing with silent scrutiny.
Remus stood near the hearth, stiff and unmoving, arms folded tightly across his chest. His jaw was clenched hard enough that the muscles twitched beneath his skin, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose with a slow, deliberate precision—the universal sign of a man barely resisting the urge to scream. He looked like he’d been standing there a long time, stewing in anxious silence.
Marlene sat perched on the arm of a chair beside him, brow arched, expression unreadable. Dorcas was leaning against the windowsill with her wand still in hand, and Barty—
Barty was sprawled lazily in an armchair like some smug cat, arms flung over the sides, one leg draped haphazardly over the other. He looked like he belonged there, like he’d always belonged there. His grin was a touch too wide, a bit too wild, the kind that suggested amusement with just the slightest hint of madness. He looked positively delighted, like the whole thing was the best show he'd seen all week.
Regulus, for once, didn’t freeze. Instead, he calmly lifted his elbow and drove it hard into James’ side.
James let out a startled noise, more grunt than word, and blinked rapidly like he’d just snapped out of a daze. Then, with a visible effort, he straightened his spine, smoothed his expression, and raised the satchel in one hand like a prize.
“We’re back!” he announced, far too brightly, his tone bordering on manic cheer. “And look—we didn’t die!”
There was a long beat of silence.
Then Remus let out a long, slow breath through his nose, dragging his hand down his face with the air of someone on the verge of giving up entirely. “Merlin’s hairy arse,” he said, voice dangerously low. “You took your damn time.”
“I second that,” said Marlene dryly, glancing between the two of them. “Did you get it?”
Regulus held back a sigh and nodded, his fingers still brushing the satchel before James could wave it around again.
“We found everything.”
Before anyone could respond, Barty opened his mouth with a wolfish grin. “Did you also—ow!”
Evan slapped him sharply on the back of the head before he could finish the sentence. “Shut. Up.”
Without another word, Regulus crossed the room, stopping at the old table near the centre. With one sweeping motion of his arm, he sent its contents flying, the objects crashing to the floor in a chaotic clatter. The noise echoed off the stone walls like a warning bell.
He set the satchel down with quiet finality and began unpacking it methodically, each movement sharp and deliberate. One by one, he laid out the contents in grim, clinical order:
Three gleaming hatchets. Six daggers. A collection of holsters in varying sizes. Throwing knives, black-handled and wickedly sharp. Vials of thick, dark potions—labelled in cramped, spidery handwriting. Bandages. Salves. Coagulants. Antidotes.
“Knives. Potions. Everything’s here.” Regulus said quietly, arranging everything so it faced outward, easy to grab.
He glanced up at the others, who stood frozen in a tense semi-circle around the table, faces grim, eyes flickering over the weapons like they weren’t quite real.
“Pick whatever you want,” Regulus instructed, voice low but unshakably steady. “Make sure you hide them well.”
Marlene moved first—silent and sure. She picked up a curved dagger with an ivory hilt and slid it into the leather sheath on her boot.
Barty followed, whistling low under his breath as he lifted one of the throwing knives and tested its weight with surprising familiarity. “Lovely craftsmanship,” he murmured.
Dorcas picked a hatchet and a vial of black liquid, pocketing both without a word.
Sirius stepped forward, hands uncharacteristically steady, and selected a hunting knife with a leather-wrapped hilt. He didn’t meet Regulus’ eye.
Remus took longer. His hand hovered over the table before he finally selected a dagger and two slim vials. His jaw was clenched so tightly that the muscle near his temple pulsed visibly.
James lingered at the end of the table, eyes darting from weapon to weapon. He looked less sure, less ready. Regulus saw it and, without a word, nudged a small dagger toward him. Clean. Balanced. Practical.
“This one,” he said simply.
James hesitated only a moment longer before taking it, fingers curling around the hilt.
Regulus watched the way his hand settled into place, then stepped closer. “It suits your grip,” he said, his tone calm but deliberate. “You tend to hold a little loose around the pinky—barely noticeable, but enough that something heavier would tilt forward on the downswing.”
James blinked, looking down at his hand. “I—how do you even notice that?”
Regulus gave a faint shrug, as if it were obvious. “You hold your wand the same way. It's not wrong, just… yours. This blade’s weight compensates for it. It'll stay balanced even if your focus slips.”
There was a beat of silence, James’ eyes still on the dagger.
“You’ve really been paying attention,” he said, quieter now.
Regulus didn’t look at him. “Someone has to.”
At the far end of the room, Emmeline stood motionless, eyes wide, hands clenched at her sides. She didn’t move.
“If the first trial takes place in the Forbidden Forest,” Regulus began, eyes flicking to each of them in turn, “you’ll need to listen carefully. No loud noises. No talking unless it’s necessary.”
The room stilled. Even Barty, who rarely took anything seriously, had sobered.
Regulus let his gaze sweep over them, sharp and unreadable.
“You hear something hiss, you hide.” His tone was cold steel. “Acromantulas can’t see well. Their eyesight is poor, but their hearing? Every branch you step on, every shallow breath, they hear it. They feel it. And once one of them knows where you are, the rest will come, especially if you stumble across a Matriarch. They’re fast, so don’t run unless you have to and try to move towards running water. Stay low. Stay still.”
He looked directly at Sirius. “And stay calm.”
Sirius scowled, opening his mouth to retort, but Regulus cut him off with a look.
“What about centaurs?” Marlene asked.
Regulus’ jaw tensed. “Stay away from them. They don’t like humans. Especially not students stumbling around with weapons. They’re proud, and they don’t care about your House or your blood status. If they see you, bow your head in submission and back away. Don’t speak to them. Don’t even look at them too long. If you insult them, intentionally or not, they won’t hesitate.”
“Right,” Marlene muttered, glancing at the blade she’d chosen like it wouldn’t be enough.
Sirius tapped the hilt of his dagger against his thigh. “Giants? Trolls?”
Regulus snorted softly. “Stupid. Loud. Easy to avoid if you’re paying attention. Trolls are like overgrown toddlers—slow to turn, sensitive to sound. Don’t draw their attention. Giants—same deal, only with worse tempers and a longer reach.”
He let that settle for a moment before continuing, “Don’t drink from still water. No lakes, no deep ponds, no stagnant pools. Especially not the ones that look clean. There’s a reason they’re untouched.”
James frowned. “Why not?”
Regulus gave him a look. “Because things live in them. Naiads, for one. Spirits of the water. They look harmless, beautiful even. Human, mostly. They’ll smile at you, sing to you, reach for you like they’re drowning. But they’re not. They will get into your head and twist everything the moment you step too close to their pond.”
“Lovely,” Dorcas muttered.
“Running water is safest,” Regulus went on. “Streams, especially shallow ones. Anything you can see the bottom of. Don’t trust what you can’t see.”
“And dryads?” Remus asked quietly.
Regulus hesitated—just for a second.
“Rare. But they’re territorial too. Tree spirits. They don’t like fire. Don’t like metal. They’re quiet, and they blend in. You’ll know you’ve stepped into one of their groves because everything will go still. No birds. No wind. Not even insects. If that happens, stop moving. Apologise and leave. Out loud. With respect.”
“Apologise?” Barty asked, eyes alight with amusement.
Regulus looked at him coolly. “Yes. Dryads don’t forget insults, and they can rot your insides without laying a hand on you. So yes—apologise.”
The grin vanished.
“And if you hear laughter,” Regulus added, voice darker now, “but you don’t see anyone? Keep walking. Don’t answer it. Don’t follow it. Naiads lure. Dryads warn. Boggarts play.”
“Boggarts?” Lily asked, brows lifting.
“They won’t always show up like they do in class,” Regulus said. “In the Forest, they’re harder to recognize. Trickier. They don’t always take the form of your worst fear. Sometimes they wear faces you trust. Voices you know. They’ll whisper things. Try to separate you. Confuse you. If you feel disoriented, suddenly alone when you weren’t a moment ago, test what’s around you. Ask a question only someone real would know the answer to.”
There was a beat of silence. Even the fire seemed to have dimmed.
“When night falls,” he continued, “do not sleep on open ground.”
“Where then?” Dorcas asked, her tone steady but wary.
“Up. If you can’t find shelter, climb. Sleep in the trees. Make hammocks. Just don’t sleep where something can grab you.”
A tense silence followed that. The table between them was still littered with weapons, the metal gleaming dully under the low light.
“There are werewolf packs,” Regulus said after a moment, almost too casually. His gaze flicked once to Remus, then away again. “Not many. And it’s not the full moon, so they won’t shift. But they’ll be able to smell you.”
He finally looked at Remus again. Their eyes met.
“They’ll sense you, most likely.”
Remus didn’t flinch. “And what should I do about that?”
“Stay downwind. If you meet them, don’t challenge them. Don’t run. If you catch their smell, you move in the opposite direction. Don’t run. That’s prey behaviour.”
James’ face had gone a shade paler. “That’s what we’re walking into?”
Regulus raised a single brow, as if the question were painfully naïve. “That,” he said calmly, “is the Forest on a good day. You’ll know when it stops being kind.”
“How do you know all this?” Emmeline asked quietly. She hadn’t moved from her place beside the table, one hand resting on the edge, knuckles white. Her eyes were fixed on the weapons, but her question was for him alone. “How do you know what to do?”
The question hovered, brittle and bare, cutting through the silence like glass. Everyone turned toward him.
Regulus didn’t blink.
“Did you think I spent years in a manor?” he asked, voice dropping an octave. “Reading books by the fire? Practicing duels in a ballroom?”
He looked at her then, gaze flat and unreadable.
“I survived. That’s how I know.”
The words landed like a stone dropped in still water. Ripples of realization spread across the room. There was something in the way he stood, the set of his jaw, the way he didn’t flinch from their scrutiny. He wasn’t boasting. He wasn’t asking for approval. He was telling the truth, and that truth wasn’t the kind they’d learned in books or classrooms.
He had been in the Forest before. He had seen what waited out there.
Regulus stepped closer to the table and dragged a fingertip through the thin film of dust that coated its surface. With slow, deliberate movements, he drew crude shapes and an arrow pointing north, carving the direction like a scar into the woodgrain beneath.
“Whatever happens,” he said, his voice quieter now, more focused, “you keep moving this way. North. The Forest thins the farther you go. There’s a complex of caves there. Natural shelter. You won’t find them on any of the school’s maps.”
“And if we get separated?” Remus asked.
“That’s where we regroup. The entrance is hidden behind a thicket of thorns and a row of standing stones. You’ll know it when you see it.”
“You make it sound like you’ve been there,” James said.
Regulus just looked at him, lips curling ever so slightly. “Maybe I have.”
Another silence fell.
Outside, the wind howled low through the cracks in the windows, like the forest was already calling them.
Regulus stepped back from the table. His hands rested lightly on the edge for a moment, fingers curled like claws bracing against weight unseen. Then he straightened, and when he spoke, his voice cut through the room with purpose.
“Memorize your surroundings. Not landmarks—those move in the Forest. Memorize texture. Terrain. The way moss grows on the north side of trees. You don’t want to walk in circles.”
Sirius was staring at him now, not with defiance, but with something approaching unfamiliar respect. He hadn’t realized. None of them had.
“Hide your weapons well,” Regulus continued. “In your boots, your sleeves, your waistband.”
Remus shifted slightly, the dagger he’d taken resting heavily at his hip. “And sleep?”
“In shifts,” Regulus said. “If you find each other, if you’re lucky enough to group up, one always stays awake. Even if you’re exhausted. Especially if you’re exhausted.”
He let the silence stretch for a breath, then added, “And if you’re going to panic…”
His eyes swept over them—Marlene’s clenched jaw, Remus’ steady but pale face, Dorcas’s unreadable expression, Sirius’ tense shoulders, Barty’s now-absent smirk, Emmeline’s white-knuckled grip, James’ wary silence.
“…do it now,” he said softly, but without mercy. “While nothing’s trying to kill you.”
They stared at him.
No one moved.
No one laughed.
No one scoffed.
Regulus didn’t ask for their fear. But somehow, in this moment, he had their trust.
He wasn’t just the strange, sharp Slytherin boy anymore. He wasn’t Sirius Black’s inconvenient shadow. He wasn’t the outcast, or the mystery, or the reluctant ally brought in through necessity.
He was the one with a plan.
The one with knowledge no one else had.
The one who had survived.
And suddenly, that meant something very different.
The light danced over the sharp glint of metal as Regulus inspected the blade in his hand, short, sleek, and wickedly curved. A row of identical knives lay in a meticulous line across the bed beside him, each one cleaned, sharpened, and set in perfect symmetry.
Evan sat near the window, legs crossed at the ankle, a cigarette smouldering between his fingers. Barty, by contrast, looked like he was seconds away from bursting into flame. He hadn’t sat still since they entered. He paced with tight, looping strides like a wolf in too small a cage too small, boots scuffing against the stone floor with each turn. His eyes glittered with that barely-contained energy he got whenever something chaotic was about to happen.
“Ah, isn’t this like in the good old times?” Barty laughed, voice pitched high with that manic edge he always carried when he was too close to the edge of something dangerous. “Don’t tell me you don’t miss it. The blood. The thrill. That rush right before a curse hits and you can’t tell if it’s yours or theirs?”
Regulus didn’t look up. He ran his thumb along the edge of the blade, checking for burrs.
“Don’t indulge him,” Evan said dryly, pointing a long, pale finger at Barty without looking. “You feed it, and it gets worse. Like a dog with a taste for meat.”
“I don’t particularly miss it,” Regulus spoke calmly, still not glancing up
“Oh, bullshit,” Barty snickered, flopping backwards onto the arm of Regulus’ armchair. “I’ve seen the way you work. You don’t just do violence. You breathe it. You’re like me, Reg. You just hide it better.”
Regulus finally looked up, eyes cool and unreadable. “The difference between us is that I know when to stop.”
Barty’s grin widened, feral and unrepentant. “Do you? Because if I recall correctly, last time, it was your blade in that bastard’s throat before I even got mine out.”
“That was a necessity,” Regulus said evenly. “Not pleasure.”
“Sure,” Barty said, sing-songing the word like a child mocking a lecture. “Whatever helps you sleep, darling.”
Evan exhaled a plume of smoke toward the ceiling, watching it spiral above his head. “I hate to be the only adult in the room, but you two do realise we’re not out there yet, right? Maybe save the sadomasochistic nostalgia for after we survive the trial?”
“You're no fun, Rosier,” Barty muttered, but his eyes didn’t leave Regulus.
“And you’re going to get stabbed in your sleep one of these days,” Evan replied serenely.
Regulus didn’t rise to it. He returned his attention to the knives, slotting one back into its sheath with a practiced hand. “Bloodlust doesn’t keep you alive. Precision does. Timing. Discipline.”
“Control,” Evan added, tapping ash into a cracked saucer on the sill.
“Exactly.” Regulus nodded, glancing toward him.
Barty groaned and let his head fall back over the chair. “You two are so boring sometimes. Where’s your fire? Where’s the joy of watching someone fold under you, screaming your name—”
“Are we still talking about killing, or has this veered into one of your deeply concerning fantasies again?”
Barty didn’t miss a beat. He grinned, teeth flashing. “Why not both?”
Evan stood without ceremony. “That’s it. I'm getting back to my room.”
Before Regulus could respond with what was likely a scathing retort, or perhaps a knife to the thigh, a sharp knock sounded at the door.
Barty sprang up like a jack-in-the-box and flung it open with the kind of enthusiasm that should have been deeply alarming to everyone involved.
“Oh, Potter,” he said brightly, leaning against the doorframe. “Did you overhear our very professional, extremely well-adjusted conversation and decide to step in?”
James blinked. He stared at Barty, then at the room behind him, brows furrowing in that very Gryffindor way of his that suggested he was about three seconds from making a poor decision.
“Your… what? No. Why would I—?”
“Well,” Barty began, waggling his eyebrows, “we were just talking about folding and screa—”
“Time to go.” Evan’s voice cut in like a guillotine, flat and final. He reached past James, grabbed Barty by the collar with all the grace of someone dragging a misbehaving dog off a couch, and started hauling him backwards.
“Hi James, bye James,” Evan said in one breath. “Barty, move your fucking ass inside.”
“Oi, Potter!” Barty called out over his shoulder, twisting with unnatural flexibility. “Make sure to—!”
The door slammed shut with a thud so loud it made the frame tremble. Barty’s voice on the other side continued for a few muffled seconds before being cut off completely.
James stood frozen for a moment, blinking like he wasn’t entirely convinced he hadn’t accidentally wandered into the wrong reality. He slowly turned to face Regulus, who was now pinching the bridge of his nose so tightly it looked like he was trying to physically push the memory of Barty out of his brain.
“What,” James asked eventually, “the fuck was that?”
Regulus didn’t even lift his head. “Don’t ask.”
James looked at the door again. “Was he trying to flirt with me or… recruit me into some kind of questionable orgy?”
“Yes,” Regulus said flatly.
James snorted. “You’ve got lovely friends, by the way.”
“Believe me,” Regulus muttered, “they came with the trauma package. No returns. I checked.”
James wandered further into the room, eyeing the abandoned knives and rolled maps with casual interest. “Do they always talk about murder and kinks in the same breath?”
“Only when sober,” Regulus said darkly.
James raised an eyebrow, glancing once more at the door. “Merlin. And here I thought Gryffindors were the chaotic ones.”
“Debatable,” Regulus said as he returned to checking the edge of a blade
James stepped closer, the grin slowly fading from his lips as he watched Regulus a moment longer. The dim light caught the hard line of Regulus’ jaw, the curve of his brow pulled in tension. He was gripping the knife too tightly again, blade turning ever so slightly in his hand as if he didn’t realize he was doing it. He looked… fractured. Composed, still—but only just. Like a mask beginning to crack.
James knew that look. He’d worn it too many times after battles, after funerals, after waking up from dreams soaked in blood and memory.
“Hey,” James said softly, stepping fully into his space. “Love, look at me.”
Regulus didn’t, not at first. His eyes stayed fixed somewhere over James’ shoulder, guarded and sharp like he was afraid of what might be written on James’ face.
So James reached up slowly and cupped Regulus’ chin with careful fingers, guiding his gaze back to him. His touch was light, deliberate, and full of something unspoken. His other hand came up to gently wrap around Regulus’ wrist, coaxing the knife downward.
He let it fall, and James’ thumb brushed along his jaw, rough and careful.
“There you are,” he whispered, breath barely audible. “Hi.”
Regulus blinked. Once. Twice. His lips parted and stayed like that, as if forming a word he couldn’t quite say. And then, finally, it came.
“Hi,” he said, voice hoarse and barely there.
James smiled, soft and lopsided, like he’d just found something valuable buried in the rubble of a collapsing world. He didn’t speak. Didn’t move. Just stayed close enough for Regulus to breathe in the steadiness of him.
“I know it’s a lot,” James murmured after a moment, eyes searching his face. “You’re doing everything—leading, thinking ahead, watching everyone else like you’re afraid we’ll fall apart the second you blink.”
“You included,” Regulus said quietly, eyes dark and unreadable. “Especially you.”
James huffed a gentle breath of laughter. “Thought so.”
He hesitated, brushing his thumb along the bone just beneath Regulus’ eye. “Just… let someone take care of you too. Even if it’s just for a second.”
Regulus’ breath hitched. He looked away quickly, like the idea itself was dangerous. “I’m not used to— That’s not how this works.”
“With me, it can be,” James said softly.
That made Regulus falter. For a moment, something unguarded flickered in his eyes. He glanced at James’ hand still cradling his face, then back up.
“You really are the most inconvenient person I’ve ever met,” he muttered, but the words came with a reluctant, almost fond smile.
James leaned forward until their foreheads touched, breaths mingling in the narrow space between them. “Right back at you.”
For a little while, they just stayed like that—still, quiet, held together by silence and proximity.
Then Regulus shifted. Slowly. Carefully. Like a bird unused to landing somewhere safe. He pressed his forehead lightly to James’ shoulder, resting there. His fingers curled in the fabric of James’ shirt like he wasn’t sure he’d ever let go again.
“If we get separated—” James began.
Regulus stiffened. He straightened, already shaking his head. “No.”
James blinked. “No?”
Regulus pressed a palm to his chest. “You go to the caves. Like I said. You get everyone there. You wait. I’ll find you. Not the other way around.”
James reached up and took both of Regulus’ hands in his own, grounding him. “I’m not leaving you alone.”
“This isn’t some Gryffindor stunt,” Regulus snapped. “It’s not the bloody Astronomy Tower, it’s the Forest. There are things out there that don't care if you’re brave. They'll rip you apart for breathing too loud.”
“I’ve been in the Forest before.”
“Not like this,” Regulus hissed. “You can't just wander around like you own the damn place.”
“Well…” James hesitated, then shrugged with a small, sheepish grin. “I am an Animagus.”
Regulus stared at him. “You're a what?”
“A stag. Been one for years.”
“You’re joking.”
James gave a sheepish laugh, the kind he used when he knew he was being ridiculous and brave at the same time. “It’s a long story. But… why do you think we all have those nicknames? Wormtail. Padfoot. Prongs. We used to sneak out every full moon for Moony.”
Regulus stared at him like he’d just announced he could sprout wings and fly.
“Prongs,” he repeated softly, almost dazed. “Salazar’s bloody ghost, that’s so stupid.” But he laughed, sharp and fond.
“Let me guess—Sirius is a black dog?”
James’ grin widened. “How did you—?”
“He wanted a dog for years,” Regulus said, and for the first time, his voice was light. “Pestered Mother almost every day. Swore up and down that if he ever had a dog, he’d call it Grim and train it to hate nobles.”
They both laughed, the sound half-suffocated by the weight pressing down on them, but it was real.
Then the air shifted again. The laughter faded as Regulus looked back at him. “James… You don’t get to play hero. Not this time.”
“I’m not playing anything.” James’ voice dropped. “But I’m not leaving you behind either. Not if I can help it.”
Regulus exhaled sharply and looked away. “You always say that like it’s simple.”
“It is,” James insisted. “It’s terrifying. But it’s simple.”
There was a pause, full of things they didn’t have the time or safety to say.
“If something happens to me,” Regulus said quietly, “I want you to go north anyway. Even if you’re alone. Even if I’m—” he choked on the word and didn’t finish it. “You keep going. You make it out.”
“No,” James said firmly. “We make it out.”
“I’m serious—”
“So am I,” James said, reaching out to cup Regulus’ face again, gentle but firm. “We survive. Together. That’s a promise.”
Regulus’ breath hitched. He stared at James like he was something stupid and wonderful, something doomed to die shining. “You always make these promises like you can keep them.”
“I will,” James said, pressing his forehead to Regulus’. “I’ll fight the whole Forest until I get you back.”
Regulus gave a sound that was almost a laugh, almost a sob. His hands gripped the front of James’ shirt again, holding tight.
James took his hand and held it tightly. “Say it.”
“What?”
“Say it back. We survive. Together.”
Regulus’ jaw clenched. His throat moved like he was swallowing glass. Then he exhaled a shaky breath and nodded once.
“We survive,” he whispered. “Together.”
And James leaned forward and kissed him, not rushed or hungry, but slow and deliberate. A promise. Something to return to.
By sunset, the cold had sharpened into something cruel. Every breath Regulus took scraped raw down his throat, splintering into his lungs.
They were marched down from the tower in perfect, silent lines—deliberate and tight, no speaking, no glancing behind. Anyone who faltered was met with a swift blow to the ribs or the back of the head. The Death Eaters flanked both sides of the procession, their black cloaks whispering against the ground like funeral drapes. They moved like carrion birds circling the already-dying, heads tilted, waiting for the moment their feast would begin.
Even Barty didn’t speak. His usual grin, sharp and half-mad, had dissolved into something stiller—cold-eyed, jaw locked, pulse visible at his temple. He wasn’t smirking anymore. He was calculating.
They reached the Quidditch Pitch just as the last trace of light bled from the sky. What had once been a field of cheers and golden laughter was now a coliseum of bones. The wooden stands had been reinforced with rusted iron, and they groaned under the weight of cloaked figures packed shoulder to shoulder, Death Eaters leering down from above. Their silver masks caught the last dying light, each one glinting like a skull polished for display. Hundreds of them. Silent at first.
Then they began to scream.
It was primal—worse than battle, worse than grief. They shrieked and bellowed like animals, a chorus of hunger and anticipation. Some banged their wands against the railings, others clapped their hands in eerie unison. A few laughed, long and loud and mad, like this was a celebration. A festival of blood.
A mockery of sport.
Regulus’ stomach turned, but he didn’t flinch. He couldn’t. The noise crashed over them, a wave of anticipation and cruelty. This was no test. This was a spectacle.
In the centre of the pitch, where the goalposts once stood, a jagged stone dais had been raised, like some ancient altar pulled from the grave of a god long dead. And there, above it all, stood the Dark Lord himself.
Voldemort raised one pale, skeletal hand, and the crowd went still in an instant. Cut off mid-roar like a throat slit mid-scream. The silence was violent. It rang in the bones.
“Welcome,” he said, and the pitch seemed to bow beneath the weight of it. “Tonight, we begin the trials. A culling… a hunt. A game, perhaps—if one is generous.”
He smiled then. A thin, lipless thing. More teeth than warmth.
“Only the strong will survive. Only the worthy shall ascend in my new world. The rest… will serve their purpose in death.”
James shifted beside Regulus, tension drawn like a bowstring. His fingers brushed Regulus’ hand—brief, hidden—but Regulus felt the tremor. Not fear, exactly. Something deeper. A recognition of the abyss they were about to step into.
Voldemort’s gaze swept across the gathered group—slow, clinical, curious. He looked at them like a child inspecting insects before deciding which to pull the wings from first.
“Each of you will enter the Forest at staggered intervals. You will not know where your enemies are… but rest assured, they will be hunting you.”
“The trial will end in one of two ways,” Voldemort continued, voice still soft. “You will survive alone, proving yourself superior… or you will deliver the head of another to this dais as tribute.”
A pause.
Then the crowd erupted. Screaming, howling, shrieking with delight. Some stamped their feet like savage children at a puppet show, others lit sparks into the air with their wands in celebration. One man roared with laughter so hard he fell from his seat. No one helped him up.
This wasn’t a mission. This wasn’t war.
This was theatre.
Voldemort waited until the cacophony burned itself out again, then lifted his hand for silence.
“No magical transportation,” he said, tone sharper now. “No Portkeys. No Apparating. You will be given a blade and a single torch. No wands.” His eyes found Regulus in the crowd, then James. He smiled—something knowing, something cruel. “Magic has its place. But instinct… instinct is more honest.”
He let that settle in the air like poison.
“Fight, flee, hunt, kill.” He spread his arms like a priest inviting his congregation to prayer. “The strong will rise. The rest…” He paused. “Will entertain us.”
A soft chuckle rippled from his throat. But it wasn’t amusement. It was indulgence.
The crowd of Death Eaters roared like a starving beast finally let loose. The sound was a tidal wave of howls, shrieks, and maniacal laughter—inhuman, frenzied, hungry. Some of them were already on their feet, masks glinting, robes whipping as they surged down the stands. There was no signal. No countdown. No mercy.
Regulus saw hands twitching, fists clenched not to cast spells but to claim.
Then it began.
A hand shot out of the darkness, rough and gloved, and ripped Peter Pettigrew backwards with such force it looked like his bones snapped. He let out a high, choked scream that cut off mid-breath. His feet left the ground. His wand clattered uselessly. And then—crack. Gone. A thread cut.
Emmeline shrieked his name, a raw, guttural sound, half panic and half denial, but no one was listening.
Another lunge—Dorcas. She twisted hard, snarling, her fist catching someone in the jaw, but there were three of them. She disappeared into the tangle of bodies. A flash of dark cloth. A hiss of laughter. A scream that pitched into silence. Crack. Gone.
Regulus stood frozen, the world fracturing around him like shattered glass. Movement everywhere—disjointed, surreal. Jerky silhouettes flickering between torchlight and shadow. The pitch had dissolved into chaos. People ran, but it wasn’t clear where to. There was nowhere to go. The darkness swallowed whole.
Another body—Evan—grabbed. Regulus saw the exact second he realized it was too late. His mouth opened to shout, his arm jerked up as if to fight, and then—crack. He was not there anymore. Just space where he’d stood. The air roared with magic and screams.
Regulus’ stomach turned to lead. He barely registered Barty lunging into the fray, mad-eyed, teeth bared like a cornered animal. He shoved someone hard enough that they hit the ground, then dove after where Evan had vanished—too slow. A masked figure stepped from the smoke, seized him by the collar, and yanked. Barty went rigid mid-lunge, his feet kicking air, and then—crack. The pitch swallowed him, too.
Regulus stood in the eye of it.
The world was burning down around him, and all he could do was watch.
Screams overlapped now—high and shrill, deep and broken, some laced with laughter that didn’t belong to the ones being taken. Someone shouted a name behind him, but it didn’t sound real, not anymore. The pitch was dissolving, the lines between enemy and victim blurred by firelight and terror.
A Death Eater to his right pulled someone down by their hair. Severus? He didn't even scream—just looked surprised. Then he was gone. The crack of Disapparition was so close it burst like a gunshot in Regulus’ skull.
He turned, spinning in place now, trying to track too many things at once. He was breathing too fast. Not enough air. Not enough control.
And then—James.
He was running. Dodging a lurching figure that reached for his cloak, shoving another aside with a shoulder check so hard it sent the man sprawling. James’ eyes locked on Regulus like a lifeline, like a lighthouse in the storm.
And Regulus moved. He didn’t think. His body just obeyed. He took a step forward. Then another. His hand stretched out instinctively, his heart thundering so loud it felt like it echoed through his spine.
Grabgrabgrabgrab—
James’ mouth moved. He was shouting something, maybe his name, but the words were lost in the maelstrom.
Regulus stretched further, fingers outstretched, the space between them narrowing so much he could almost feel the warmth of his skin—
And then iron fingers clamped down on his arm and pulled him back.
“No—” he choked, twisting violently, trying to reach forward.
James’ face twisted in horror. He surged another step, his own hand flying toward him, but it was too late.
The pull was instant. Crushing. The world folded inward. Regulus’ stomach flipped, his ribs constricted like they were being crushed in a fist. His vision blackened at the edges. Wind roared in his ears.
The last thing he saw was James’ face—open, terrified, reaching for him—before the world snapped.
And he was gone.
Chapter 15: The long night
Summary:
Okay, so before you say anything, yes, I’ve taken some creative liberties. You’ll notice two OCs woven into the main plot. They’re here because I wanted to explore corners of the Death Eater world that canon never touched, and they help me show different shades of morality, loyalty, and betrayal without rewriting half the established cast
And yes, Rabastan Lestrange is one of the “good guys” here... or at least, good-adjacent? The man’s a blank slate in canon, and if I want him quietly sabotaging Voldemort while saving Regulus from bad life choices… I will. It’s my sandbox😌
Notes:
TWs: Violence, physical assault, torture
Chapter Text
Regulus hit the forest floor hard.
His knees slammed into the frozen earth, the impact reverberating up through his spine. The cold bit through his robes instantly, sharp and merciless, and the breath was wrenched from his lungs. Gone was the chaos of the pitch—the screaming, the magic, the wild hunger of the crowd. Here, the silence was thick, suffocating. Oppressive in its stillness.
The trees loomed above, twisted and skeletal against a sky gone black, their branches clawing at the air like fingers ready to close around his throat.
He sucked in a gasp, forcing his limbs to move, to respond, and shoved himself upright on shaking arms. His dagger was already halfway out of its sheath before his brain caught up.
The Death Eater who had dragged him stood only a few paces away, breathing hard through the silver mask. Motionless. Watching.
Then, with a sharp, impatient tug, the mask came off.
“Fucking hell, Regulus,” Rabastan Lestrange hissed, raking a hand through his hair. “You fucking idiot, I told you to be careful!”
Regulus froze mid-breath.
“Rabastan?” His voice cracked. His mind reeled. “What are you—what the fuck are you doing here? You were supposed to be—”
“Rummaging through scraps in Albania? Sipping wine in Vienna with the rest of the cowards?” Rabastan barked a humorless laugh. “Pick one.”
“No,” Regulus said, still not moving. His breath clouded the air, harsh and uneven. “You—you were supposed to be stationed at the Border Tunnels. With Rodolphus. You weren’t supposed to—”
“Clearly, I wasn’t,” Rabastan snapped. “You think Rodolphus doesn’t know how to shuffle assignments? He’s had his boot up my arse for weeks. I barely slipped away long enough to find you, and now you’re here pulling suicide stunts and raiding the fucking medical ward while Dolohov was on shift? Have you finally gone mental?”
“I had no other choice,” Regulus spat, voice low. He pushed himself from the ground, brushing off pine needles with shaking hands.
“You could’ve told me!” Rabastan barked. “You could’ve written something, left a code? A list, blood on the fucking wall—anything!”
Regulus laughed sharply, and it was not kind.
“Oh, sure. Let me schedule that in between breakfast with Rodolphus breathing down your neck and my delightful cousin watching your every move like she’s ready to gut you for blinking wrong. Or maybe you’d prefer a nice fireside chat over tea in the common room?”
Rabastan’s jaw clenched. He closed his eyes briefly, as though forcing down a scream. “You’re lucky I was nearby. Again.”
Regulus blinked, the pieces shifting into place. “That was you?”
“No,” Rabastan sneered, “it was the Bloody Baron. Of course, it was me.” His voice cracked. “You and your Gryffindor lover left the armoury door unlocked. That room is supposed to be shielded seven ways from Sunday, and you left it wide open. Anyone with half a functional brain would’ve known it was one of you. I had to reroute Nott, stall Travers, and feed Bellatrix some bullshit story about one of the new recruits.”
Regulus stepped back, guilt flickering behind his eyes, but it didn’t last.
“I didn’t know who to trust.”
“Don’t—” Rabastan pointed a finger at him, eyes blazing. “Don’t insult me like that. I’ve bled for this. For you. I’ve covered your tracks more times than I can count, and all you ever do is look at me like you expect a knife in your back.”
There was a long, brittle silence between them. Rabastan exhaled through his nose and turned slightly, scanning the trees.
“Look,” he said, lower now, “I don’t have much time. Selwyn took your brother near the North Bog entrance. Muldoon dropped Lupin somewhere east, probably near the split-off trail. Didn’t want to make it obvious. The others—” he shook his head. “—were grabbed by anyone who could cast fast enough. I didn’t recognize half the fuckers in the stands. He brought in outsiders. Not even proper Death Eaters.”
Regulus’ heart pounded harder. “And James?”
Rabastan’s face twitched. “Didn’t see. He was still on the pitch when I grabbed you.”
“That’s not an answer,” Regulus growled. “Did you see him taken? Did anyone grab him?”
“I don’t know,” Rabastan said, voice clipped. “Sometimes they keep the pretty ones for the end. Makes for a better show.”
Regulus flinched like he’d been struck.
Rabastan’s mouth tightened. “…Sorry,” he muttered. “That was…harsh.”
“You think?” Regulus whispered, eyes unfocused now, staring through the trees like they’d open up and give him answers. “He’s not ready for this. Not like—” He cut himself off.
“None of us is ready,” Rabastan said. “They don’t want us ready. They want us broken. Rumour has it Voldemort riled up the werewolves again. Loosened the leash. Could just be something charming Bellatrix vomited to hear herself talk, but… just in case, watch the tree lines.”
Regulus didn’t respond at first. He stared past Rabastan, into the dark. The forest smelled like damp bark and rot. Everything in his body was tight.
Rabastan moved closer.
“Reg,” he said softly, his anger cooled but not gone. “You’re not going to make it through this if you keep playing lone martyr.”
Regulus let out a short, bitter laugh through his nose. “I don’t have the luxury of being anything else.”
“That’s not true.”
“No?” Regulus turned his head slowly, finally meeting his eyes. “You think this is about choice? You think I get to decide when or how to burn?” His voice cracked, but he didn’t flinch. “People are dying, Rabastan. I don't get to be careful anymore.”
Rabastan’s eyes flickered, something pained flashing across his face before he smoothed it away. “You think I don’t know that?” he asked quietly. “You think I haven’t watched people I care about vanish into this machine and come out the other side as monsters or corpses?”
He stepped in closer.
“You are not a weapon,” Rabastan said firmly. “You’re not some lost cause waiting to fall for a world that already threw you away. I know what they taught you, what your mother drilled into your head, but they were wrong. You’re more than what you can sacrifice.”
Regulus looked away.
“…Be careful,” he said, finally. “We’re not all out to kill you. Some of us are just trying to keep you alive.”
Then he pulled the mask back over his face, turned, and Apparated, leaving Regulus alone again.
Regulus stood still long after Rabastan vanished.
The world around him had no sound, no movement, just the rhythmic thud of his heart in his ears. The cold bit at his face, but he didn’t notice it. Not really. He was already far away.
It all started with Marunweem.
A village that most people couldn’t point to on a map. A place half-swallowed by the sea and fog. He’d ended up there months after faking his death, wand always half-raised, sleep coming in short bursts. Marunweem had been a temporary hideaway, the kind of place he could disappear into without questions, just another bitter-faced boy who saw too much during the war.
And then Rabastan walked into the pub.
Regulus had recognized him instantly. That was the thing about the Lestranges — they moved like they owned the place. Rabastan looked leaner, sharper, haunted around the eyes. But he was still unmistakably himself. Same predatory grace. Same expression that looked carved from stone. Regulus’ chair scraped across the floor with a squeal of old wood. His dagger was in his hand before the man had reached the bar.
He almost killed him, right there between the beer-soaked floorboards and a roaring fireplace.
And Rabastan? He hadn’t even flinched. Just raised both hands, palms up, and said, “Don’t flatter yourself, Reggie boy. If I wanted to turn you in, you’d already be dead.”
Regulus had stared him down for nearly a full minute, chest heaving, blade twitching, before he backed off.
It had taken days, weeks, even, before Regulus believed him.
Because at first, it sounded like bait. Classic Lestrange games. Sympathy wrapped in venom. But then Rabastan started talking, and he didn’t stop.
He talked about the war. The camps. The disappearances no one bothered to document. He rattled off hideouts like he was reciting recipes: one beneath the ruins of a chapel outside Inverness, another beneath an old prison-ship off the coast. He gave Regulus maps with the corners burnt. Lists of Death Eaters, divided into those who liked pain and those who preferred profit. Who hoarded women. Who sold children. Names that made Regulus flinch, even though he’d grown up sharing the same dinner tables.
And then, slowly, Rabastan began to share fragments of something more.
Not in full. Rabastan never gave anything in full.
He told him a story with no clear beginning, and even less hope of an ending.
It was about a girl. A Muggle-born. Quiet and quick-witted. Dangerous in the way that made Rabastan laugh. He said she talked too much and didn’t flinch when she met his eyes. He said she insulted his wandwork and beat him at chess, and once stole his cigarettes out of sheer spite.
He never told Regulus her name.
Maybe because saying it out loud would make it real, or because it already hurt too much.
What he did say, quietly, with that bitter curve to his mouth, was that Voldemort made a lesson of her. Killed her in front of an entire room and made Rabastan watch.
Something in Rabastan cracked that night. Something he’d spent years holding together with spite and loyalty and family name. The break wasn’t clean. It didn’t turn him into a rebel or a saviour. It just made him quiet. More dangerous.
Regulus hadn’t trusted him completely. Not then. Not now, even. But there was something in Rabastan’s eyes, something worn and hateful and haunted. A man who stayed in the dark not because he believed in it, but because he couldn’t find the door anymore.
When Regulus was brought to Hogsmeade, Rabastan left his ancestral manor and moved into the castle. Officially, he said it was to be closer to the Dark Lord. Unofficially, he made sure Regulus didn’t end up on a pyre in the courtyard.
Regulus never asked him to do it. He never had to.
The places Regulus raided were always just lightly guarded. The patrols just late. The passwords just leaked into the right hands. And every time, Rabastan was nowhere to be seen, but his fingerprints were all over it.
He never stayed. Never lingered. Never asked for gratitude.
He didn’t know why Rabastan still gave a damn. Maybe it was that both of them had come to the same conclusion a long time ago:
The Dark Lord had no loyalty. Only uses. And once you were used up, you were nothing.
Rabastan wasn’t the only one who decided to operate from the shadows.
Cassiopeia Selwyn was a Death Eater of pureblood lineage and unshakable poise. A well-known member of Voldemort’s inner circle for years. Maybe the most important one. She moved like a knife through court politics, all cold smiles and silk-lined lies. Even Walburga had once lowered her voice when mentioning her, and that said everything.
She was older, thirty-seven, maybe thirty-eight, but her eyes had the brittle sharpness of someone twice that. She never had to raise her voice because even the most savage of Voldemort’s followers shut up when Selwyn spoke.
No one really knew when she turned. And if anyone suspected anything, they kept quiet. Cassiopeia Selwyn had a way of making people disappear—politely, permanently, and without leaving blood on the carpet.
Regulus only figured it out by accident. He watched the Order finishing a raid in Yorkshire, barely escaping alive with one of the prisoners. Usually, the Order does not leave behind their men, but with the place swarming with Death Eaters, they apparated away. Regulus, instead of leaving, decided to look around for anything helpful. He could make himself invisible when he wanted to.
He’d found the envelope under one of the rebels’ cloaks when he peeled it off. No name. Just coordinates.
An abandoned chapel hidden in the hills of Derbyshire. From the outside, it looked like a reliquary, just another holy place left to rot.
But inside?
Half a dozen barely-breathing captives. Chained to the stone floor like livestock. And a thick, leather-bound ledger tucked in the altar drawer, covered in blood and binding spells. Inside were names. Rows and rows of names, categorized by magical potency, blood status, and organ viability.
A harvest list, by the looks of it.
For dark rituals. Body augmentation. Extraction. Regulus had seen dark before, but this... this was systematic. Industrial.
It had Selwyn’s seal on it.
He’d confronted her days later, certain it was a trap.
“It was my family’s chapel,” she had said, standing under a stained glass window while rain screamed against the panes. “I used to go there when I was seven. I buried my cat under the walnut outside. His name was Achilles.”
She sipped her wine like it was blood and said, “He killed my mother in front of me, you know. He told me she was weak. That she cried too much. That she asked too many questions. She begged him to spare me, so he slit her throat and smiled while she bled out on the drawing room rug.” Her gaze didn’t waver. “Then he looked at me and said, ‘Now you’ll be strong.’ And he pushed me into the middle of the Death Eaters like a dog he was training.”
She downed the rest of her wine.
“I’ve been waiting to return the favor ever since.”
Cassiopeia Selwyn was a ghost in a velvet dress, feeding him scraps of intel, rerouting orders, selecting targets that had just the right amount of visibility. Enough to make a dent without exposing herself. Enough to let Regulus and Barty strike hard, vanish, and leave Voldemort’s loyalists bleeding in the dark.
Regulus trusted her as much as you could trust someone who had probably slit more throats than you’d ever spoken to.
But Selwyn had a goal. And that made her reliable.
Revenge was a powerful god.
Illyan Muldoon, on the other side, was different.
Mad, by most accounts. A pale, twitchy thing with long fingers stained green-black from years of potionwork. He stank of nightshade, Horklump juice, and whatever else he’d cooked down that week. He wore his Death Eater mask crooked, almost deliberately, and half the time it wasn’t even the right one. Regulus once saw him wearing a mask clearly carved for someone else, and Illyan just said, “Borrowed it,” and kept stirring a cauldron that smelled like scorched copper and something dead.
He never stayed in one place long.
The only thing steady about him was his obsession with alchemy. Real alchemy, the old kind. Transmutation. Philosophical poisons. Unstable brews that could melt steel or slow your heartbeat for twenty minutes without killing you. Alchemy that was not found in any book under Hogwarts’ roof—only in ruined grimoires whispered about in locked libraries in Eastern Europe.
Illyan didn’t believe in ethics or purity or even war. He believed in what worked.
He was the one who taught Regulus how to brew Wolfsbane properly. Not the Ministry-regulated pablum, but the real stuff.
Regulus had nearly blown off his face the first time. Illyan had just cackled and handed him a different stirring rod.
His betrayal had come quietly, but deep.
He’d been loyal once. Proud to be handpicked for the Dark Lord’s “internal refinement squad”, a fancy name for those who made the poisons, interrogation serums, and magical mutagens used in Voldemort’s darker projects.
Until one day, when he brewed a potion he wasn’t allowed to name and gave it to the Death Eaters. Something experimental that was meant to make the poor thing stronger.
They tested it on someone who turned out to be his nephew.
Illyan watched the boy screaming. Saw his limbs bend backward and his magic surge so violently it shattered the walls of the lab. The boy convulsed for ten minutes before he finally stopped breathing. Illyan didn’t speak for two weeks.
Didn’t leave his lab either.
Just sat in the corner, arms wrapped around himself, rocking back and forth in silence.
Then, one night, he slipped out and left the castle.
No one stopped him. Maybe they assumed he was going to kill himself. Some probably hoped he would.
But he didn’t die. Instead, he started slipping formulas to Regulus or meeting him in the old ruins of an old fortress for practice. Sometimes in alleys, in graveyards, in sewers, in cellars, never where Regulus expected him.
He handed maps of subterranean paths used for smuggling magical creatures, artifacts, and stolen ingredients. At times, even sabotaged batches of potions that ended up in Death Eater hands, potions that made them hallucinate, forget, or lose control in battle.
One recruit tried to gouge out his own eyes after drinking Illyan’s latest blend. Another tried to confess to a murder that hadn’t happened. The Dark Lord ordered an inquiry.
Illyan just whistled tunelessly in the dungeon and said, “Maybe your batch went bad.”
He worked alone. Always. Didn't ask questions, didn't make demands. He simply handed Regulus a flask and said things like:
“This’ll give you twenty minutes of cold-blooded focus. No fear. No hesitation. Side effects include nosebleeds, trembling, and mild psychosis.”
Regulus used it anyway.
Illyan’s loyalties weren’t clean, but his hate was.
And it was enough.
The world snapped violently back into place, and James hit the ground so hard it rattled his teeth and drove every last breath from his lungs. He lay there for a moment, stunned, heart hammering in his chest, the lingering sting of side-along Apparition clinging to his bones like ice. His palms scraped against cold earth as he gasped for air, and before he could fully register the space around him, there was a sharp crack—the telltale sound of the Death Eater disappearing, gone before James could even turn his head.
The air hung heavy with damp, the scent of moss, decay, and something sour curling up his nostrils. He remained motionless, muscles coiled, his ears straining for any movement. Slowly, he pushed himself upright, every joint aching. Leaves clung to his jacket, wet and slick, and he brushed them off with shaking hands. Mist clung low to the ground, creeping and alive. The clearing where he’d been dropped was half-swallowed by mud, leaf pulp, and scattered bones—small ones, animal, he hoped.
But then something flickered at the edge of his mind.
Recognition.
And when the memory clicked into place, it punched the breath out of him all over again.
He laughed. Short. Startled. Disbelieving. It wasn’t a joyful sound. It was raw and frayed at the edges, the kind of sound that came from a place cracked wide open.
Of all the places they could have dumped him, this entire cursed forest sprawling like a wound across the earth, they had to choose this place?
He knew this clearing because he’d been here before.
Before the war, before blood and graveyards and betrayal began to define their days. Back when magic still felt like wonder, not war. When the world hadn’t collapsed in on itself like a dying star.
They had stumbled into this glade as boys. Stupid with freedom. Hearts full of mischief and possibility. He remembered Moony, ever the watchful one, going still first.
He hadn’t said a word.
Just stopped and stared.
And there it had stood.
A unicorn. Pale as starlight, still as breath. As if it had materialized out of myth, stepping into the world just for them.
But it hadn’t looked at them all. No, its gaze had gone straight to Remus, like it knew him, like it understood some part of him even James never fully had. The rest of them had watched, frozen in reverence, as the creature held Remus' gaze for a long, quiet moment, then disappeared between the trees without a sound.
James hadn’t thought of that night in years. Not properly. But standing here now, surrounded by echoes of the past, it returned with painful clarity.
The clearing looked smaller now. Darker. Like the forest had folded in on itself, pulling all the warmth from the earth and leaving behind only shadow. What had once felt sacred now felt cursed, like a haunted shell of memory.
And then the vision hit him.
Regulus.
His face, that face, just before the Death Eaters had started grabbing them like discarded objects.
James had seen a lot of things in the war and after. Blood. Death. Madness. But he had never seen Regulus look afraid like that.
He had reached for James. Fingers outstretched. Just shy of contact. Eyes wide, frantic. No mask of control. No practiced detachment. Just naked, visceral panic. And James remembered lunging forward in response, remembered shoving a Death Eater out of his way so hard he’d heard the man’s mask crack against the ground, but it was too late.
One flash of movement and Regulus was gone. Snatched. Stolen.
And James had been left standing alone.
He exhaled harshly and raked both hands through his hair, grounding himself before the panic could take root. The game had already begun. The hunt was on. Every second he wasted here meant someone else might be bleeding in the dark, or worse.
But James wasn’t helpless. He knew Regulus would go north, and if there was one thing James Potter could do in a cursed forest filled with death and silence, it was follow. It didn’t matter if it was foolish or suicidal. It didn’t matter if traps waited at every turn, or if the trees themselves tried to kill him.
Their paths would cross. They had to.
The forest was vast, yes, but not infinite.
And they had always been pulled to each other like magnets in the middle of a storm.
He moved quickly, feet crunching softly against the earth, eyes alert. There was no wand in his hand, no map, no plan. Just instinct and sheer purpose.
He passed trees that felt like old gods, towering and gnarled. He felt the forest watching him, ancient and waiting, but he didn’t slow.
And in his mind, the same thought looped, like a drumbeat, like a curse:
Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead.
He would find Regulus.
And if anyone stood in his way, they’d find out just how dangerous James Potter could be with a knife and with nothing left to lose.
Barty knew he was crazy.
He didn’t flinch from the word. Didn’t sugarcoat it. It was a badge he wore proudly, stitched into every thread of his being. Madness clung to him like a sickness that had grown under his skin—festering, foul, inescapable. Most people pretended. Smiled and lied and called it “moods” or “passions.” Not Barty. He owned it. Dragged it behind him like a carcass, smeared in blood and bile.
When the Death Eater dropped him in the swamp like something spoiled, like offal scraped off a butcher’s floor, he made sure to take his pinkie finger with him. A little souvenir.
Now, he was knee-deep in mud in the middle of fucking nowhere. Not even in the Forest. Not even a respectable clearing. A Bog. Capital B. The kind that festered, that stank like a body rotting from the inside out.
How dare they?
He didn’t scream. He laughed, high, thin, a laugh jagged as splinters in the throat, almost giddy in its sharpness. He laughed until it felt like something in his throat tore. Until his ribs ached and his head buzzed. Until it wasn’t funny anymore and never really had been.
Case in point: Barty Crouch Jr. was not entirely sane.
He stood still for a long time. Breath came in sharp, uneven bursts, like a body trying to flee without legs, like the air around him was thickening into a kind of drowning. The trees whispered, or maybe they jeered.
He could feel their eyes. Bark-slick and resin-wet, blinking slow, leering with a contempt he could feel in his spine. He laughed again, softer now. Not madder, just lonelier.
His hands trembled, not from fear, because Barty didn’t do fear, that was for weaker men, but from a kind of fury that had melted in the heat of his own brain. Rage dulled at the edges. Rage that didn’t roar but hissed and festered.
He scraped mud from under his nails, fascinated by the smears. Brown, red. Blood? Dirt? Did it matter?
He stared at his own fingers like they belonged to someone else.
The Death Eater’s finger he’d just cut off, was still lying somewhere in the muck. Maybe he should find it and pocket it. A good luck charm.
Merlin, Evan would’ve had a field day seeing him half feral like this. He would’ve flicked his cigarette, narrow-eyed and annoyed, muttering some cruel thing sharp enough to slice the air. He would've smacked Barty upside the head, not hard, not soft either, but lovely. Bored and perfect because Evan Rosier never needed theatrics.
Evan saw him. Not the facade. Not the performance. The ugly, cracked core of him. The sharp edges and neediness. The desperation and violence. And somehow, he didn’t look away. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t try to fix it—he just held it, like a weight only he knew how to carry.
He had been his compass. Not a soft one, not one that cared about redemption or sanity, but one that knew when Barty was drifting too far, too deep. He’d always pull him back. With a sneer, with a slap, with that terrifying ability to just exist without cracking. A steadying force.
But Evan was gone now, wasn’t he? And without him, the madness had teeth. It chewed through Barty, whispered sweet filth into his ear, told him the trees were watching, that the mud was gnawing at his ankles, that the sky itself was peeling. The world frayed without Evan—unraveled like stitches pulled too tight, then snapped. No one left to call him an idiot and mean it. No one to slap the dagger out of his hand or dig fingers into his jaw when Barty started to spiral, like it meant something, like he meant something. Without Evan, even the ghosts started wearing his face. It was cruel, how the mind clung to what it craved most.
“Look what I am without you, love,” he whispered hoarsely.
Because the thing was—Barty loved him. It wasn’t the kind of love people wrote poetry about, or the love he had imagined when he was seeing Regulus. It didn’t smell like flowers or sound like lullabies. It was something jagged, obsessive, feral. Something that lived under his tongue like a secret curse. He loved Evan in a way that hurt to hold inside, like fire in the palm, like swallowing knives. He would’ve flayed himself open if Evan asked.
And Evan—he never coddled him. Never pretended it wasn’t dark. That was what made it real.
With Regulus, Evan was careful. Gentle. Always just a little softer around the edges, voice lowered like he thought Regulus might break if he looked too hard at him.
But with Barty? He was something else entirely.
He was sharp. Possessive. Not tender, never tender, but his. All teeth and fire, cigarette smoke and fury. With Barty, Evan never played soft. He shoved, demanded, provoked. Dragged him back from the brink with clawed hands and a voice full of scorn. He bit before he bled. And it made Barty’s skin feel too tight, his heart too full. It meant everything.
It was an understatement to say he would turn the world upside down just to get at Evan.
Barty would burn it. He would laugh in the face of gods and swallow death whole if it meant Evan looked at him like that again, like he was something real, something dangerous and worth taming.
A snap cracked through the boggy stillness, and Barty went still instantly, every muscle locking into place as instinct took over. It came from just beyond a narrow rise in the mud, a jagged outcropping of stone and twisted root that barely passed for a cliff, but offered enough cover for someone stupid or suicidal to stand on. He dropped to a crouch, knife in hand, before he even thought about it.
His breath stuttered in his chest. The air was thick and wet, clinging to his lungs. Every nerve was vibrating, anticipation bleeding into something hungry.
"For fuck’s sake, fucking shit, from all of the places—"
That voice. The cadence, the lilt, the barely restrained rage buried under clipped consonants. That edge—Evan always had that edge when he was pissed, and now it wrapped around the words like barbed wire.
Barty’s heart didn’t beat. It crashed.
He stayed low, trembling. Not with fear, but disbelief. Madness. Hope. What if it was another hallucination? Wouldn't be the first time he'd heard Evan’s voice in the mud. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d conjured it just to feel something real.
But then footsteps, real ones this time, scraped down the ridge, boots slapping stone and muck, and Barty knew.
Somewhere in the marrow of him, he knew.
He surged up before he could talk himself out of it, blade still clutched tight, wildness spilling off him in waves.
And there he was.
Evan fucking Rosier.
Hair damp and curling at the edges, shirt half-untucked. His dagger was out but held low, shoulders tense, and jaw tight. When his eyes met Barty’s, storm-dark, sharp as razors, he didn’t look surprised. He looked furious.
“What the fuck,” Evan snapped, his voice louder now, sharp enough to slap. “Are you serious? Are you completely out of your fucking mind? Why are you in the fucking open like this?”
Barty blinked. A beat. Another. Then:
“Yes,” he rasped. To what? Barty didn't know.
That seemed to stun Evan for a second, just a flicker, but it passed quickly.
“Are you bleeding?” Evan hissed, stomping through the sludge toward him, grabbing his wrist.
Barty held it up with a crooked grin. “Not mine. I cut the Death Eater’s finger off. Souvenir.” He frowned, “It’s somewhere in the mud. I need to find it.”
Evan looked at him then and took in the grime and blood caked under his fingernails, the mad shine behind his eyes, the twitch in his fingers that wouldn’t stop. The smile that was too wide, too wrong. The way he was swaying just slightly, like something was tugging at his spine.
The cliff’s edge Barty was dancing on.
The madness, wrapping around him like a lover.
“Oh, Barty…” Evan muttered.
There was no venom in it. Just something pained and raw and sharp-edged with regret.
One hand slid into Barty’s hair, and the other cupped his jaw. Barty barely had time to draw a breath before Evan kissed him.
It wasn’t a demand. It wasn’t dominance.
It was a rescue.
Fierce and sudden and grounding. Like if Evan pressed hard enough, if he took enough of him back into his mouth, maybe he could pull Barty out of the dark again. Maybe he could shove the madness aside, even for just one moment, and remind Barty of his way back home.
Barty made a noise in the back of his throat, something desperate and keening, and grabbed fistfuls of Evan’s coat, clinging like gravity had gone sideways. He kissed back like a dying thing, like this was oxygen, like the bog would eat him whole if he let go.
Evan broke the kiss first, forehead resting against Barty’s, breath ragged.
“You cut off a man’s finger,” he muttered, somewhere between disbelief and awe.
Barty huffed a breath. “I like to think of it as a good luck charm.”
“You’re fucking insane.”
“I never said I wasn’t.”
Evan’s hand slipped from his jaw to his throat, thumb brushing the skin like he needed to feel the pulse for proof.
“You can’t do this alone.”
“I didn’t know where to find you.”
Evan closed his eyes, just for a moment, jaw clenching.
“If you go under again, Barty, if you let it take you, I won’t be able to pull you back next time.”
“You just did,” Barty said, voice small.
And Evan kissed him again.
Harder this time. Rough. Possessive. All fire and fury and unspoken don’t you ever do this again. The kind of kiss that tasted like a warning and a promise at once.
Barty let himself be kissed. Let himself feel it. Let himself be pulled back from the edge. Because if Evan was going to hold him together, even by the throat wth his teeth, he’d let him.
And Merlin, he’d burn the world to ash just to feel that mouth on his again.
The forest around Sirius blurred, then sharpened into grim clarity—the rough bark of trees, the dark, tangled undergrowth, the distant, haunting calls of creatures he didn’t want to know.
Before he could even catch his breath, the Death Eater who’d dropped spoke, voice cold and distant.
“Avoid the Acromantula nests,” they said, tone sharp like a whip. “They don’t take kindly to visitors.”
Sirius frowned, spinning toward the sound, mouth opening to demand what that meant, but it was already too late. The bastard was gone, vanished in the acrid smell of Apparition, leaving behind only a smear of sulphur and burnt ozone.
His heart thundered. Not just from the encounter, but from the silence that followed. Too silent.
Where was Moony?
The thought slammed into him like a curse. His chest tightened. Panic clawed up from his ribs, hot and fast, catching in his throat, like a living thing.
He remembered, too vividly, another time. Years ago.
He’d waited by the floo for nearly two hours past the arranged time, pacing like a madman in front of the fireplace, fists clenching every few minutes when the green flames didn’t ignite. It had been a simple mission. In and out. But Moony was late, and Sirius couldn’t stop imagining all the things that could go wrong. He’d told himself he was fine, that he was just being dramatic, that Moony had probably stayed behind to help someone or file some damn report. But when the clock hit the third hour, Sirius had found himself in the corner of the room, shaking, nails dug into his arm so deeply he left bruises there.
When Moony had finally arrived, looking tired and perfectly whole, Sirius hadn’t said a word. Hadn’t scolded. Hadn’t kissed him. Just stared—numb, brittle, his entire soul vibrating with too much terror and nowhere to put it.
That was the night James had pulled him aside and said, voice low and firm, “You’re getting too dependent on him, Pads. You’ve gotta be able to stand on your own if you’re going to survive this war.”
At the time, Sirius had laughed. Of course, he was dependent. Who the hell wasn’t in this madness? They all leaned on each other. That’s what love was. That’s what brotherhood was. That’s what they had to do, wasn’t it?
And now Sirius was alone again, spine prickling with the ghosts of that memory, and he finally understood what James had meant. This terror, this frantic, clawing helplessness, was dangerous.
Sirius ran a trembling hand through his hair, forcing the air in through his nose, out through his mouth.
Get it together, Black.
He was many things: clever, fast, reckless, loyal to the point of ruin, but he wasn’t built for this kind of combat. The raw, primal kind. No wands. No spells. He wasn’t like James, with that inherent sharpness in a duel, or like Remus, who moved with quiet, tactical precision. Sirius had flair. He had fire. But that didn’t mean survival.
He knew now, with painful clarity: If I don’t keep moving, I will die.
It was that simple. He couldn’t afford to freeze up every time Moony wasn’t at his side. Couldn’t afford to wait for someone to save him. No matter how many nights Remus had pulled him from the edge, no matter how many times James had caught him before he fell, Sirius knew the truth now.
They wouldn’t always be there. And the forest did not wait for the broken-hearted.
Drawing a breath that rattled like glass in his throat, Sirius straightened. Moony was out there somewhere looking for him. Maybe injured. Maybe not. But Sirius couldn’t stand here like a child lost at King’s Cross.
He needed to survive. And to do this, he started walking north.
The forest closed in around him, not merely as a collection of trees and tangled undergrowth, but as a living snare.
Regulus moved with meticulous grace, threading its way through, each step calculated and deliberate, his body attuned to the tension in the air, to the subtle tremors in the earth beneath his feet. He was silent, sharp, and perfectly aware of how precarious each moment was, how near he walked to the line where the stitch might snap and everything unravel. This forest was old. Not old in the way castles grew mossy or books gathered dust, but old in a way that suggested sentience—memory layered into bark and loam. It did not simply endure. It remembered.
And what it remembered most clearly, most deeply, was blood.
As Regulus pressed further north, deeper into the tangled heart of the wood, the familiar rules of landscape and orientation began to dissolve. The forest here had shed all pretence of being tameable or charted. There were no paths, no breaks in the canopy to offer stars or sky, only faint disturbances in the forest floor—whispers of movement traced in bent moss, shallow imprints in mud. None of them belonged to humans. Some prints were sharp and cloven, like hooves. Others bore long, raking claws. A few were shapes he could not name, and those were the ones that gave him pause, halting his breath as his fingers tightened around his dagger.
He crouched beneath the twisted limbs of a tree so ancient it leaned under its own weight, bark warped into curling whorls. Pressing his palms to the damp earth, he felt the slow throb of something pulsing below—an ancient magic that did not answer to spells or scripts, a raw and primal current that moved with its own will. This was not magic taught in books or practiced in duels. This was wild magic. Untamed. Watchful. It existed in the marrow of the place, older than any castle wall, older than even Salazar Slytherin’s resting bones.
He had grown up reading fractured tales of the Shadowed Wood, stories stitched together from wizarding superstition and the half-believed nightmares of Muggle folklore. The Forbidden Forest, with all its beasts and bans, was a child's garden compared to what surrounded him now. This was something else. Something outside the margins of any map. He stumbled upon a tree unlike the others, a towering sentinel that had been cleaved cleanly in two, not by axe or lightning, but from within, as though some unbearable pressure had forced it to split along a hidden fault. From its torn heart, sap bled thickly, slow and luminous, golden as honey but glinting with a strange iridescence. He circled it cautiously, unwilling to touch, or even to breathe too near.
And then, further ahead, he saw them.
The signs.
At first, they were nearly invisible. A delicate drift of pollen, suspended in air and glowing with a faint, unnatural blue. Leaves no larger than coins, curled into impossibly perfect spirals and arranged in deliberate, almost ceremonial patterns at the base of a pale tree. The air shifted, subtle but unmistakable—the temperature dropped by a single, telling degree, and the scent in the wind changed. It carried a sweetness now, sharp and cloying, something like crushed violets mixed with magic. It stung the inside of his nose.
Dryads.
His body froze. His breath caught mid-chest.
These were no gentle forest sprites from bedtime stories. These were the flicker-creatures. Elusive. Unstable. Beings of deep instinct and mood, capable of wild swings from curiosity to fury in a heartbeat. They were not evil, not in the sense wizards liked to label things, but they were old and they were territorial. Their presence was a warning written in scent and light. They didn’t make a sound. You didn’t see them unless they wanted you to, and if they turned their attention your way, there was very little you could do but hope they didn’t find you interesting enough.
Regulus lowered his gaze slightly, not submissive, but respectful. A calculated offering of reverence.
“I apologize,” he said quietly, voice low and clear, each syllable deliberately formed. “I didn’t know I was crossing into your territory. I’ll leave.”
And so, without another word, without so much as a backward glance, he began to retreat, each step placed with meticulous care, avoiding the snap of branches or the give of soft moss beneath foot. To run would be to trigger pursuit. Dryads were drawn to sudden motion, fascinated by it, the way a cat is with a wounded bird.
One of them flickered to his left, a tangle of vines twisted into the suggestion of a figure—neither male nor female, glowing faintly green, their “eyes” hollow and endless. A hum passed through the air. A frequency that thrummed behind the teeth, vibrating the bones in his jaw.
Regulus swallowed tightly.
“Thank you,” he whispered, as he crossed the last threshold of their territory. “For letting me walk away.”
The pressure slowly lifted, and Regulus allowed himself a breath.
Just one.
He never saw the blow coming.
A blur from the right slammed into him, the force knocking him off his feet, his back cracking against the forest floor with a bone-jarring thud. The impact drove the wind from his lungs. He didn’t even have time to gasp before another punch came down like a thunderclap.
Knuckles split flesh. His lip burst. His cheekbone crunched under the brutal arc of the blow. Copper flooded his mouth in a hot, metallic rush, tangling with the grit of moss and dirt. His head snapped sideways, vision skewing. The trees spun.
“You fucking coward!” Avery’s voice was a snarl, wet with rage, spittle flying with every word. “You think you can just walk away? Think you’re better than us now?”
The weight atop him shifted, Avery’s knees digging hard into his ribs, pinning him like a nailed insect. Another blow came, then another, and another, each one hotter, harder, bloodier than the last. The fists didn’t stop. They landed with sick, meaty smacks, each a red burst behind Regulus’ eyes.
He writhed, limbs jerking, and his fingers found the edge of his boot and pulled his dagger.
It slipped, and the blade clattered into the moss with a hollow sound.
Avery growled and slammed an elbow down hard into Regulus’ chest, then drove it into his throat. Air stopped. His back arched, a strangled sound clawing from his mouth as his lungs screamed for oxygen. His hands flew up, not with intent, but in panic. Pure animal panic. He clawed at Avery’s forearms, at his shirt, at anything, but Avery was solid. Bigger. Meaner. He was grinning now, teeth bared like an animal.
“Traitor. Filthy traitor. Always thought you were too delicate to get your hands dirty. Should’ve drowned you in the fucking Black Lake when I had the chance.”
Regulus’ vision blurred. Stars exploded across his vision.
The next punch nearly drove him into darkness.
But something in him refused to let go. Some thread of survival curled up from his spine and screamed move.
Avery’s fist reared back for another strike, but stopped, snapping his head to the side as a sound like a whip cracked through the clearing. Not loud—but sharp. Intentional.
He froze mid-punch and his brow twitched, eyes flicking downward—too late.
A thick vine, green and coiled like a serpent, snaked around his ankle and pulled.
Avery was ripped backwards off of Regulus like a ragdoll. His knees scraped across the ground, his shout strangled in his throat as the vine yanked him with unnatural strength into the trees. His body slammed into a trunk with a sickening crunch. Bark split.
“What the fu—!”
But the forest swallowed his voice. The vine didn’t stop. More followed. Thin tendrils slithered through the moss and leaves, binding his arms, his legs, dragging him screaming into the dark.
The Dryads had sensed them, and whatever rules governed this part of the forest, Avery had just broken one.
Regulus gasped, breath rushing back like shattered glass. He gagged, spat blood, and forced himself to his knees. Pain radiated from every joint. His mouth pulsed with agony. His right eye was swelling shut.
Yet, he moved.
He shoved himself upright, legs shaking like newborn limbs, and staggered forward. No thought. No direction. Just away.
The forest was alive behind him. Movement. Flickers of light and shape. Avery’s curses turned into screams, then into nothing. Just the rustle of trees. The crack of wood. A silence that rang louder than violence.
Chapter 16: The path
Chapter Text
Regulus couldn’t tell how long he had been running.
Time had turned into something shapeless. It no longer moved in moments or minutes, but in sensations—raw, disjointed pieces of memory clinging to breath and blood. The relentless pounding in his ears marked the only rhythm, matching each ragged pull of air into his burning lungs. The world blurred more with every blink, the trees shifting into distorted shapes, the path ahead nothing more than shadow and blurred images.
The forest had become a maze of pain. Thorns tore at him like grasping fingers, snaring in his robes, raking across his arms with greedy insistence. Branches lashed his shoulders and tugged at his hair, the underbrush dragging at his legs, as though the forest itself wanted to claim him. He moved without thought now—his body caught in some feral autopilot, driven forward not by purpose but by instinct, by a primal need to escape.
Somewhere along the way, the sharp sting of his wounds had dulled, buried under deeper aches. A cold, spreading pain had settled into his bones, wrapping around his spine, his ribs, his shoulders. His face throbbed in time with his heartbeat, but he had stopped registering it as an individual injury. The blood dripping steadily from his chin was just part of him now, seeping into the collar of his shirt, sticky against his neck. His breath came shallow and uneven, rattling in his chest. Every step jarred something inside him. He didn’t know if his ribs were cracked or just badly bruised, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t stop.
Then, suddenly, the forest broke open.
One moment, he was half-crawling beneath hanging roots, forcing himself through a wall of bramble and clawed ivy, and the next, he broke through and stumbled into stillness. The trees peeled back around him like a curtain, and he staggered into a clearing so abruptly it knocked the breath from his lungs all over again. His foot caught on a gnarled root hidden in the tall grass, and he nearly collapsed. He caught himself at the last second, one hand driving into the earth, his chest heaving.
It was quiet here.
Unnaturally so.
The oppressive noise of the forest—its shrieking insects, distant snarls, and rustling branches—had vanished. In its place was a hush, vast and weighty, like a held breath. Despite the lingering darkness, the clouds had thinned above the clearing, allowing slivers of moonlight to spill through. It washed everything in cold silver, casting long, soft shadows. The mist clung low to the ground, thickest where the grass rose in clumps, and it shifted slowly, curling around pale, wildflowers that glowed faintly in the moonlight like ghostly lanterns.
A river cut across the far side of the clearing, its surface slick with light. Moss-covered stones jutted from the banks like broken teeth, worn smooth by time. Regulus stared at them for a moment, his pulse still thundering. The place felt wrong, but he was so, so tired and everything hurt. He needed to stop a little and do something about his wounds, or he would collapse and bleed out like a fucking idiot in the middle of the forest.
He scanned the perimeter with sharp, frantic eyes. Every movement of the mist, every sway of the grass, sent a jolt through him. His gaze darted between trees, searching for any flicker of life, the glint of eyes in the dark, or the shimmer of magic wound too tightly in the air. But there was nothing. No scent of blood. No whisper of predator. No sense that he was being watched.
For the first time in what felt like hours, Regulus allowed his knees to give. He moved to the river’s edge and dropped heavily to the ground, his hands trembling as they reached for the water. The cold shocked him. A jolt of ice that seized his lungs and lit every nerve in his fingers. He gasped through clenched teeth, breath catching on the raw places in his throat, but he didn’t stop. He dunked his hands in again and again, scooping the water and splashing it over his face with increasing desperation.
Soon, it started to run red as blood washed from his skin in waves, trailing down his wrists and dripping into the current. The river carried it away without protest. His face throbbed beneath the chill, the swelling and bruising angry and immediate under his fingertips. But the cold numbed it—blunting the edges of the pain enough that he could think.
He touched his face gingerly, his fingertips tracing the swollen curve of his left cheek. The cut along his brow was jagged, likely needing stitches if he’d been anywhere near civilization. Blood still oozed from the split in his lip, and the entire right side of his face felt bloated, bruised to the bone. He winced when he brushed his nose—it hadn’t broken, but the cartilage protested.
Finally, his legs gave out beneath him, and he collapsed backward onto one of the larger, flat stones near the riverbank. The cold surface bit into his spine through the thin fabric of his robes, and he groaned softly. Every muscle in his body screamed in protest, stiff with effort. He let his head loll against the stone, the back of his skull pressing into its rough curve as he exhaled shakily.
“Fucking shit,” he whispered, the words half-slurred, more breath than voice.
His fingers trembled as he reached down to his left boot and felt for the hidden compartment stitched just beneath the cuff. From it, he pulled a vial of Murtlap essence. He uncorked it with his teeth, the stopper coming free with a soft pop, and swished the vial slowly to mix the layers. Then, carefully, he tipped it and let a few drops gather on his fingers. The scent was sharp and earthy, like something freshly dug from the ground.
Regulus dabbed it first along the gash above his eye. The liquid hissed faintly on contact, and the pain bloomed hot and immediate, like acid poured into an open wound. His body jerked in reaction, back arching instinctively away from the sting, but he didn’t cry out. He just clenched his jaw so hard his teeth ached. He moved to the cut on his lip next, then to the worst wounds on his jaw and cheekbone, each time pausing just long enough for the pain to crest and ebb. The relief came slower than he wanted, but it came. A subtle cooling, a lessening of the throb beneath the skin, a faint sense of his body beginning to repair itself.
He closed his eyes again and drew in a slow breath.
Something whistled, and he jerked, almost dropping the vial into the grass. He stiffened, feeling his stomach drop as the sound of hooves echoed around him. It wasn’t loud, not at first. Just a shift of weight. Grass bending under steps. His fingers twitched toward the dagger at his belt. The other hand braced against the stone, trying to push him upright without seeming like a threat. But before he could move more than a breath, an arrow thudded into the dirt beside his boot.
He froze.
Everything inside him locked into place. Breath caught. Muscles stiffened. The vial trembled in his hand.
From the shadows of the treeline, they emerged—six, no, seven figures. Towering. Silent. Half-man, half-horse. The centaurs moved with the kind of grace that didn’t belong to anything human. No sound of snapping twigs or rustling leaves. Just presence. Commanding, ancient, and absolute. They fanned out around him in a loose crescent.
Regulus swallowed. The taste of blood clung to the back of his throat, copper and iron and fear. His mind raced.
What did they see? A bleeding wizard crouched by a riverbank with a dagger and a pocketful of lies? A trespasser? A child playing war? A fool?
He could feel their eyes, not just seeing, but perceiving. Peeling back skin and name and bloodline, digging deeper. Like they were reading into the marrow of his bones.
If they chose violence, he wouldn’t last five seconds. He wouldn’t even make it to his feet.
He searched his memory, scrambling for protocol. What were the rules? Centaurs weren’t beasts. They weren’t even creatures in the way most wizards used the term. They were something older. Something harder to define. You didn’t speak unless spoken to. You never lied. You didn’t offer gold or bargains. You showed respect, but never flattery. And above all, you did not insult their intelligence.
Regulus let his fingers fall away from the dagger. Slowly. Deliberately.
One of them stepped forward. Taller than the rest, with deep brown skin and thick, braided hair that draped across a broad chest. His eyes burned like coals left in a hearth too long, smouldering with ancient thought. A longbow hung at his side, unstrung for now, but it wouldn't take more than a flick of his wrist to change that.
Regulus raised both hands, fingers spread, palms open. His voice came quiet, steady.
“I’m not here to hunt,” he said. “Or to trespass.”
“To step foot in a sacred glade is to trespass,” came a sharp voice to his right. Another centaur, younger perhaps, bow still drawn, the arrow aimed at his chest.
Regulus turned his head, slow and measured, until he could see the speaker’s flank—mottled grey.
“I’m trying to survive,” he said. “Same as anyone else.”
A scoff broke the stillness.
“Wizards survive by destroying what they find,” said a third, this one with copper-flanked sides and hair like wild flame. His eyes burned with contempt. “You burn. You break. And when nothing is left, you rename it and pretend it was always yours. Don’t insult us with your breathless lies.”
Fuck.
Regulus didn’t speak again. His jaw tightened. Blood dripped steadily from his chin into the grass. Around him, the ring of centaurs had closed in. Their bodies were taut, coiled like bowstrings drawn to the cheek. The kind of silence that fell wasn’t peaceful—it was sharp-edged, a breath before a storm. The kind that knew how to kill.
This was it. This was how it ended. Not in a blaze of glory. Not even with wands. Just grass beneath his knees, blood in his mouth, and a cold dread flooding his spine.
“Leave him.”
The voice cut through the rising tension like a blade.
A figure moved forward, the other centaurs shifting instinctively to make way. His equine half was the colour of scorched ash, mottled with darker streaks. His human torso bore the marks of age and knowledge—silver threaded through thick braids, his skin inked with dark blue constellations that curved across his chest and arms like old sky maps. Even the wind around him seemed to pause.
His eyes fixed on Regulus—dark, unblinking.
“Torvus,” one of the younger stallions said, barely suppressing the tension in his voice. A warning.
But Torvus didn’t look away. “This one is not here by choice. I can smell desperation on him.”
Regulus froze, throat tightening. The pain in his face flared again, grounding him.
Torvus stepped forward again. His presence alone was enough to hush the restless shifting of hooves and limbs. “What is your name?”
“Regulus Black.”
A ripple passed through the circle like wind stirring tall grass. Murmurs rose like uneasy insects. One centaur narrowed his eyes, tail twitching. Another made a low sound in his throat, almost a growl. Someone behind Torvus said darkly, “Of course.”
“I know your bloodline,” Torvus said slowly. “Your family name is etched into more curses than tombstones. The House of Black... bred for conquest. Poisoned by power. Tell me, Regulus Black, why are you here?”
“I’m trying to reach the caves near the northern ridge,” Regulus replied, voice low but clear.
Torvus studied him. “Many things hide in those caves. Few who enter return. Why would you go there?”
Regulus hesitated. His mouth was dry. Every word he spoke was a risk.
“There are people I need to find,” he said, slowly. “One of them is my—” He faltered. The word burned on his tongue. “They’re friends. We were dropped here. A test. Death Eaters’ amusement.”
The reaction was immediate.
“You lie!” barked a centaur with smoky flanks. “No servant of the Dark Lord comes here by accident.”
“He reeks of dark magic,” another added sharply. “I say we end him before he infects more of this forest.”
“Enough,” Torvus said, raising one hand.
The effect was instant. Not peace—but pause. A heartbeat held on the edge.
Torvus stepped closer. “You do not speak like one of the Dark Lord’s dogs,” he said, his voice probing, thoughtful. “But your skin hums with old magic. Your blood carries oaths. Who made them?”
Regulus swallowed. “Me.”
The centaur tilted his head, unreadable. “You carry shame like armour and lies like wounds.” He paused. “You are not innocent, Regulus Black.”
“I’ve never claimed to be,” Regulus said, meeting his gaze. “But I didn’t come here to die. I came to try and make something right.”
Torvus’s eyes narrowed. “Many have said those words before carving their names into history.”
A few centaurs shifted again, glancing at each other.
“What is it you think you’ll find in those caves?” Torvus pressed.
“Survivors,” Regulus said. “Maybe hope, if I’m lucky.”
“Hope is not a compass,” Torvus replied. “It can lead you in circles.”
“Still,” Regulus said, raising slowly from the ground, “it’s the only thing left that hasn’t tried to kill me today.”
A few of the centaurs snorted, one letting out a surprised puff of amusement.
Another muttered, “Brave fool.”
“He’ll be dead before dawn,” said another.
Torvus didn’t smile, but his expression softened by a hair’s breadth.
“There is a trail half-swallowed by the bog,” he said at last, voice quiet, reverent. “It won’t show on your maps. Your kind stopped listening to the land long ago, but the earth remembers what you forget. Follow the roots that grow against the sun. When you reach the place where the stones are stacked like crooked teeth, turn north. The caves are there, behind the ridge’s broken spine.”
Regulus nodded, bowing slightly out of instinct. “Thank you.”
He turned, muscles aching as he stepped toward the edge of the clearing, toward the dark line of trees beyond. But something caught in his throat—something unspoken, unbidden. He paused. The question rose before he could stop it.
“Have you seen another boy?” he asked, not turning back fully, his voice catching at the edges. “Tall. Messy hair. Round glasses. Too loud for his own good. Stubborn as hell.”
Torvus tilted his head, the silver in his braids catching the moonlight. “No.”
The word hit him harder than it should have. A single syllable, falling like a stone into still water. Regulus felt its weight settle in his chest, heavy and cold.
“Is he important to you, Regulus Black?” Torvus asked. His voice held no judgment, only a quiet, curious gravity.
Regulus didn’t hesitate. He didn’t flinch or shift his gaze. He only whispered—softly, reverently—as if the forest might try to take the truth from him if he spoke it too loud.
“The most.”
A long silence followed. The mist curled at his feet. The trees held their breath.
Torvus’s expression didn’t change, but something in his eyes, old and fathomless, grew distant, as if he were seeing something far beyond the clearing.
“If I happen to meet him,” the centaur said, finally, “I will point him in the right direction.”
Regulus gave a faint nod, his throat thick with something he couldn’t swallow down.
Torvus stepped back, deeper into the mist, his hooves silent against the moss. His voice, when it came again, was lower, almost to himself, as if he were reciting from memory rather than speaking to Regulus directly.
“Walk with care, Regulus Black. The forest remembers names long after bodies have vanished. It takes what you love most before it takes you.”
Regulus didn’t answer. He couldn’t. The words clung to his ribs like frost.
But Torvus wasn’t finished. He turned again, just before vanishing into the trees, and his gaze flicked to the stars overhead.
“I read the sky before we crossed paths,” he said, softer now, almost a whisper. “And the signs were strange tonight. The sky was clouded, but one star burned brighter than it should have. Unnatural. Defiant.”
He paused, and when he looked at Regulus again, his gaze was piercing—almost sorrowful.
“The sun will rise again,” he said. “But even kings vanish before the dawn.”
There was something in the way he said it, something that twisted in Regulus’ chest. A quiet kind of prophecy. A truth wrapped in layers too thick to unwrap.
And then Torvus was gone.
The other centaurs moved in unison, and one by one, they slipped into the forest, vanishing into darkness.
Regulus lingered in the clearing a little longer than he meant to, letting the cool air soothe what aches still pulsed beneath his skin. He checked each wound with cautious fingers, making sure the worst were closed and the bleeding had stopped. Some of the deeper gashes still throbbed, raised and angry beneath the crust of blood and grime, but they held. His breathing no longer rasped, no longer tasted like iron in the back of his throat. That, at least, was a small victory.
He gathered what little he carried, his dagger, the half-empty vial of Murtlap essence, and the battered satchel that had somehow survived everything, and turned north, toward whatever waited beyond the edge of the trees. He didn’t move quickly. Every part of him ached in a way that felt cellular, deep-rooted. Speed wouldn’t help him now. This was a place that punished impatience.
The air shifted as he walked, growing denser, heavier, like wading into water too deep to see the bottom. There was no clear path—no trail of footprints, no hanging markers or slashes in bark to guide him. Only the roots, just as Torvus had said. They slithered along the forest floor like petrified serpents, curling in unnatural arcs against the light, pushing away from the sun. They stretched like veins beneath his boots, gnarled and wet, slick with moss and something darker.
The forest changed around him.
First came the silence, not the peaceful kind, but something suffocating, thick, and unnatural. The wind died. Even the usual rustle of unseen creatures in the brush ceased. The trees thinned, pulling apart like wary strangers, their canopies no longer touching, their limbs bare and stretched skyward in a kind of brittle surrender. The air grew colder. Damp.
Beneath his feet, the ground began to change. The hard-packed soil softened into mulch, then gave way to a wet squelch with every step. Water welled in shallow depressions, pooling in still eyes that reflected a sky he couldn’t see. Each mirror of water shimmered faintly, as if it remembered stars no longer visible. When he moved, his reflection moved too—warped, wavering, hollow-eyed, and flickering at the edges. He didn’t look at it long. He knew better.
Some pools stirred when he passed, rippling at the edges. At one point, the water near a gnarled cypress churned violently before going perfectly still. Regulus gave it a wide berth, heart hammering, half-expecting to see teeth rise from the depths. Naiads, maybe. Kelpies. Things that liked the taste of human meat.
When he found the stacked stones, crooked and green with moss, he stopped. They rose in uneven layers like ancient teeth biting up from the earth, just as Torvus had described. The trees nearby leaned inward, their trunks sloping unnaturally, as if bent by time or some weight only they could feel. Thick lichen draped from every branch, veiling the space ahead like a threshold.
He turned north, as instructed, and stepped into the swamp.
It unfolded in stages. First, as damp ground that swallowed the heel of his boots, then into shallow pools rimmed with ghostly-white reeds. Bald cypresses rose from the water, their wide trunks flaring out at the base. Their roots curled upward in knobby knees that broke the surface, as though the trees were trying to breathe. Low-hanging willows trailed their branches along the water’s skin. Every now and then, he heard a splash in the distance. Sometimes the mist parted just enough to show the glint of eyes watching from the brush, but when he looked, they were already gone. The swamp was never truly still. Even when the water calmed, something pulsed beneath the surface.
He stumbled once, slipping on a root slick with something viscous. His hand sank into cold mud, and when he pulled it free, his palm was streaked with black water and something that smelled faintly metallic. He wiped it on his cloak, pushing forward.
The land grew darker the farther north he moved. The swamp narrowed into a series of mossy banks, threading between drowned trees and patches of grass that twitched even when untouched. At one point, he passed what looked like an altar, a flat stone, half-submerged, covered in spiral carvings. He didn’t stop. Didn’t want to know who had placed it there, or why.
The air shifted once again, this time turning heavy with mist. It rose around Regulus in a slow, deliberate crawl until it swallowed the trees, the trail, the very shape of the world.
He walked straight into it without hesitation. He lowered his gaze, eyes fixed on his boots. It was the only thing he could trust. He focused on the ground and on the way each step disturbed the mist, curling around his feet. His heartbeat filled the hollow space where the rest of the world should have been. One step. Another.
Then came the whispers.
Soft at first. Incoherent. Barely more than the sound of breath against breath. But they grew. Not louder, but clearer. Too clear. They circled him from all sides, brushing against his ears with voices he thought he’d forgotten.
Regulus...
You left us...
You always turn away...
He stopped. The silence that followed the voices was somehow worse. It pressed in on him, tight and vast, like the air was holding its breath. Shapes flickered at the edge of his vision. Once, he swore he saw a hand reach through the mist, long-fingered and pale, stretching toward his face. He turned sharply, but nothing was there.
Another step.
Something moved beside him.
Not wind. Not an animal. Something tall. It glided rather than walked—its silhouette barely distinct against the swirling fog. He spun, trying to keep it in view, but it vanished again, absorbed into the wall of white. His pulse spiked.
“Who’s there?” he rasped.
No answer. Just the same stifling stillness.
And then, a voice.
Not one of the whispering ones. This was different. This voice called out from somewhere ahead—clear, raw, familiar.
“Regulus!”
He froze.
It wasn’t a trick. It couldn’t be. The sound rang down his spine like a bell.
“James?” he whispered.
He couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead, but the mist seemed to pulse in response, parting, just slightly, as though reluctant. He stepped forward, then again, forcing his body to move even as instinct screamed to run the other way.
"Reggie? Where are you?" the voice called again.
“JAMES?” Regulus raised his hands, waving them in front of him as if he was trying to chase away the fog.
The fog clung to him like cobwebs, dragging across his skin, making each step feel slower than the last. But he kept going, pulled now not by logic but by the sheer need to find the source of that voice.
And then, just when it seemed like the mist would never end, when the whiteness felt like it would swallow him whole, he finally stepped through.
It was sudden. Like slipping through a curtain. One moment, nothing but grey. The next, clarity.
The fog peeled back without warning, revealing the quiet hush of a forest clearing. Not bright, but visible. Trees emerged from the whiteness like old bones, ash and pine, narrow and tall, spaced just far enough apart to let shadows linger. The air was cold, and the quiet still held, but it no longer pressed against his skull. He could hear again—his breath, his heartbeat, the faint rustle of something moving behind the trees.
Then he saw it.
No more than twenty paces ahead, there was a figure. Standing with eerie stillness in the open space between two trees. At first, Regulus thought it might be some forest illusion, another trick of light and mist, but then it moved.
It turned.
Slowly.
The figure’s hair was tangled and tied back in uneven knots, matted with leaf litter and sweat. His clothes were torn, soaked in patches, dusted with mud and blood, like he’d crawled through the forest for days. His face was paler. The eyes were sharper than they’d ever been.
Not James, but Sirius.
Regulus stopped breathing. He didn’t move. Didn’t blink. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, but his body had gone utterly still—stripped of reaction.
“Hello, little Reggie,” Sirius whispered, voice quiet and low as a growl carried by the wind.
Chapter 17: The tale of two brothers
Summary:
Just wrapped up the first part of this fic and it’s already 200k words.
The *first* part, mind you.
My Spotify playlist and neurodivergent brain joined forces and… yeah, this happened 🤡
Chapter Text
Regulus didn’t respond. His gaze dropped, almost involuntarily, drawn to the glint of metal.
Sirius was holding his hunting knife in one hand. The kind made for gutting more than carving. Its edge was wet, gleaming in the half-light.
Regulus’ throat constricted. He swallowed hard and shifted back half a pace, boots sinking into soft, damp moss. His eyes flicked up to meet Sirius’, searching for something—recognition, safety, even anger. But there was nothing. Just that unsettling, hollow stillness.
Sirius tilted his head, the motion slow and deliberate, like a wolf sniffing prey.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said, and his voice was too calm. Too casual. Like they were meeting at a train station instead of the heart of a cursed forest.
Regulus didn’t answer. His fingers hovered near the handle of his own knife, body tense, breath tight. Every instinct screamed at him to move, but his limbs felt nailed in place. There was no safe direction. Only forward, or into the mist that still whispered behind him.
“Still quiet,” Sirius went on, pacing now in slow arcs, circling Regulus in measured steps. “Always the quiet one. I used to think it was dignity. Now?” He shrugged. “Now I think maybe it’s fear.”
Regulus forced breath into his lungs. “Sirius.”
“Mm?” Sirius’ eyes flicked toward him. There was no spark behind them. No familiar glint of mischief or challenge. Just glassy detachment.
“What are you doing?” Regulus asked, softly, carefully, like one might speak to a sleepwalker on the edge of a roof.
Sirius glanced down at the knife in his hand as though he’d forgotten it was there. He twirled it once, slow, almost elegant, letting the dim light catch on the edge.
“What am I doing?” he echoed. Then he smiled, wide and crooked, but it didn’t touch his eyes. “Surviving. Just like you.”
Regulus’ breath caught in his throat. There was something… wrong.
Horribly wrong.
He could tell by the look in his eyes. Sirius’ eyes were always full of life. Always glinting with something—laughter, rage, mischief, even when he was furious. Now? They were dull. Lifeless. He looked like he was under the Imperius curse, but there was no one who could’ve cast it.
Then the realization hit Regulus like ice water down his spine.
Naiads.
They were known to haunt the deeper riverbanks and fog-slick pools, spirits of water and madness. Not like dryads who were calm or cruel depending on the mood of the wood. Naiads crept into your mind and fogged it. Took what was there and desecrated it. They didn’t kill you, not at first. They just emptied you out.
Regulus’ heart began to race.
Sirius must’ve wandered too close. A glance into the wrong pond. A drink from the wrong eye of water. And now… whatever this thing was, had sunk its claws into his head.
He forced his voice to stay calm. “I don’t want to fight you.”
“Good,” Sirius replied. “Because you’d lose anyway.”
He grinned again—too slow, too deliberate, a smile that stretched over his face like someone else had drawn it there.
He took another step forward. The knife gleamed in his hand.
Regulus stood his ground, even as something inside him screamed to run.
“I’m not here to hurt you,” Regulus said. “I came to find you.”
Sirius blinked slowly, as if the words had to travel a great distance to reach him. Then he tilted his head again, unnervingly precise.
“You found me,” he murmured. “And I’ve been so... hungry.”
And then, Sirius lunged.
There was no warning, just a sudden blur of motion as he launched himself across the clearing with terrifying speed, blade aimed low. Regulus barely twisted out of the way in time, throwing himself behind a tree as bark exploded beside his ear, splinters slicing across his cheek.
“Sirius—don’t—!”
But Sirius was already moving again, feral and relentless, breath rasping like something torn. His eyes, those eyes Regulus used to know, were wild, glassy, not quite there, like something else had slipped behind them and bolted the door.
He came in fast, knife slashing. Regulus ducked, rolled, the blade skimming his shoulder, slicing cloth and skin. Pain flared, sharp and hot, but it barely registered. He hit the ground hard, back smacking against a root, and still didn’t draw his weapon.
He couldn’t. Not against him.
Sirius didn’t care. He slammed into Regulus again, one elbow pressed to his throat. The knife flashed again, grazing Regulus’ ribs, sharp enough to bleed, but not deep enough to kill.
“Fight back!” Sirius snarled, his voice raw, frayed, trembling with fury. “Come on, little Reggie, show me what Mother taught you!”
Regulus shoved hard, twisting his shoulder into Sirius’ chest. The impact knocked them both sideways. He stumbled to his feet, panting, hand clutched over his side where the blade had grazed him.
“I’m not fighting you,” he gasped. “You’re not well—this isn’t—this isn’t you.”
Sirius began to laugh. A high, brittle, empty sound. It scraped the air like glass dragged across stone.
“Of course, you’re not. Perfect Regulus. Always the gentle one. Always too fucking careful.”
He circled now, prowling with a predator’s grace, knife glinting in his grip. His boots made no sound against the wet moss. He could have been any forest beast. A thing made for hunting.
“Do you remember what she used to say about you?” Sirius hissed, voice almost conversational. “How you never made a fuss. How polite you were. ‘Regulus listens, Regulus understands.’” He sneered. “She said you were born with Black blood in your bones. I was just… a stain.”
“Sirius—”
“Shut up!” he roared, and lunged again.
Regulus barely dodged. The blade caught his sleeve and tore through the fabric, grazing his bicep. Sirius followed through with a shove that slammed him into the dirt.
“You know what I hated most about you?” he whispered, crouched above him, breath hot and uneven. “The way everyone loved you. Even when you failed. Even when you ran. She still loved you. Whispered your name like it was holy. And me?” He bared his teeth. “She couldn’t say mine without choking on it.”
Regulus’ hands came up, grasping Sirius’ wrist to keep the blade from finding anything vital.
“You don’t mean this. Whatever’s in your head—it’s not real.”
Sirius’ grip tightened. “No, little brother. This is the realest it’s ever been.”
Regulus twisted, finally managing to kick Sirius off and roll to his side. He scrambled upright, breath ragged, blood running hot and steady down his arm.
But Sirius didn’t stop. He came again, knife low, teeth bared, eyes wild. The edge caught Regulus’ cheek this time, opening a thin, stinging line.
“You think I didn’t see you?” Sirius spat, circling again. “All those times you watched from the shadows. You wanted what I had. You looked at Moony like you understood him. You don’t. You never did.”
Regulus’ heart pounded.
“You think I didn’t know why you were always at our house?”
Sirius charged again, eyes flashing.
“You wanted what I had. I could feel it. You always looked at Moony and James like you deserved them. Like I didn’t!”
“That’s not true!” Regulus shouted, ducking low.
“Isn’t it?” Sirius roared. “You wanted to be one of us so bad. You wanted James to see you, didn’t you? You wanted Moony to smile at you the way he smiled at me.”
Regulus’ heart pounded. His hand finally closed around his own knife. His brother’s face twisted in fury, or grief, it was impossible to tell.
“You don’t know how many times I wanted to hurt you,” Sirius growled, voice thick. “Whenever I saw you across the square. When you looked at my Moony like you knew the real him.”
Sirius lunged again, but this time, Regulus wasn’t quick enough. The blade bit into his forearm as he threw it up to block, steel scoring flesh. He staggered back, heart hammering. Blood ran warm down his skin, but he barely registered the pain because Sirius kept coming.
His brother moved like a creature possessed, muscles coiled too tight, eyes flat and dead. His expression didn’t belong on his face. Not Sirius. Not his Sirius.
“Sirius, stop—!”
But the words were wasted.
“You should have died that day!” Sirius snarled, slashing again. “You should have stayed dead, Regulus.”
The knife swung again.
Regulus dodged by inches, breath coming in ragged gulps. The fog churned around them. Somewhere behind the trees, the swamp pulsed with something ancient and watching.
“You think coming back makes you a hero?” he spat.
Regulus stumbled over a root, caught himself on a low branch, breath ragged. He still refused to draw his knife.
Sirius laughed—high, bitter, cracked down the middle.
“I saw how they looked at you afterward. Poor brave Regulus. Poor little survivor.” His voice twisted on the word, sharp with contempt. “But I remember.”
He circled around, forcing Regulus backward again.
“I remember when we were kids,” Sirius went on, pacing slowly now, deliberate. “You’d sit by Mother’s feet like some little prince, your hands folded, eyes down, and she’d stroke your hair like you were spun gold. Meanwhile, I got hexed for breathing wrong.”
Regulus’ throat worked, but no words came.
“I remember how you cried when Father raised his voice. And I got the belt,” Sirius snarled, “for setting a bad example.”
The knife slashed again, wild and low. Regulus flinched, pain lancing through his thigh as the tip tore through cloth and skin. He gasped, stumbling backward into the mud.
“You always got everything,” Sirius spat. “The good quills. The good bedroom. The good books. I was the stain they couldn’t scrub out, and you were their fucking star. Their obedient heir!”
“Sirius,” Regulus said, voice breaking, “this isn’t you. The Naiads—”
“Shut the fuck up!” Sirius roared, and he tackled Regulus again, knocking him hard into the dirt. The knife pressed to Regulus’ throat now, trembling with the unsteady rage behind it. Sirius loomed over him, chest heaving, eyes bloodshot and dead all at once.
Regulus could feel the tremor in his brother’s hand. His weight. The edge of the blade, just shy of ending everything.
One breath wrong, and it would be over.
Still, Regulus didn’t move to defend himself. Didn’t reach for the blade at his hip. It would be so easy—Sirius was open, vulnerable, off-balance. A single strike could end it.
He couldn’t. Even after all of it, the scorn, the abandonment, the way Sirius had left him to rot in that house with their parents, he couldn’t do it.
Sirius’ voice dropped, hoarse and jagged. “I hated you.”
The words hit like cold iron.
“I hated you every single time you looked at me like you didn’t understand why I left. Like you were disappointed in me. Like I’d failed you.”
“I wasn’t—”
“Don’t lie to me!” Sirius roared, the knife pressing harder, biting skin. His whole body shook. “You wanted me gone. Don’t you dare pretend you didn’t. You got everything once I was out of the picture. The inheritance. The praise. The quiet dinners where no one yelled anymore. You became the good son by default. Congratulations, Reggie. You fucking won.”
His voice cracked on the last word, and for a moment, just a moment, Sirius looked like he might cry. But he didn’t. He pressed the knife harder to Regulus’ throat—one wrong twitch and it would open him up.
“James pitied you, you know,” Sirius whispered, the words slow and cruel and deliberate. “So did Remus. You thought they liked you, that they chose you, but they didn’t. They tolerated you. Like some stray I dragged in. And all was because you were my little brother, Regulus. That was the only reason you were ever in the room.”
Regulus’ stomach twisted. His breath caught. He didn’t know if it was a lie or the truth anymore.
“You were always just Regulus Black, the shadow. The afterthought. Do you really think James wanted you there, acting like you belonged?” Sirius’ voice cracked on that word, belonged, and the twist of his mouth was venomous. “He told me once you reminded him of a kicked dog. Said he almost felt sorry for you.”
Regulus shook his head, but the motion was small, fragile. “You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not,” Sirius snapped, and it came out too fast, too desperate, like a dam breaking. “You just don’t want to hear it. You never did. You were so desperate to believe that they accepted you. That they forgave you for the things you’ve done. For the name you still wear. But they didn’t. They don’t. They let you in because of me. And even I couldn’t stand to be around you.”
Regulus flinched, as if slapped.
Sirius saw it. He savored it.
“You want to know the truth, little Reggie?” he whispered, voice low and trembling with something darker than rage.
Regulus said nothing. His chest barely moved.
He leaned closer. The knife didn’t move, but his mouth was inches from Regulus’ ear.
“When you died,” he hissed, “I was fucking glad.”
Regulus went still.
“I was glad,” Sirius repeated, almost reverent now. The knife hovered near Regulus’ jaw, not moving, just existing there. “Because it meant I never had to look at your smug little face again. Never had to listen to your voice trying so hard to sound like mine. Never had to watch you play pretend with the people I loved—trying to take what was mine and make it yours.”
He leaned in close, their foreheads nearly touching, breath ragged.
“You died,” Sirius said, voice hollow, “and I thought, finally. Peace. Silence. An end to all of it. But now... now here you are. Back again. Like some stubborn ghost that won’t fucking disappear.”
Each word felt like a lash. A wound deeper than the blade.
Regulus knew. He knew it was the Naiads. That their magic could twist the mind, dredge up every bitter thing, twist it, and give it voice. He could still smell the fog on Sirius’ clothes. Still see the shimmer in his eyes, the too-bright madness of enchantment.
But knowing didn’t stop the pain.
Because maybe… maybe some of it was true. Maybe not all of it was the spell. Maybe the venom had been brewing for years, waiting for a crack wide enough to pour through.
“You think Remus is kind,” Sirius whispered, like a confession or a curse. “But he pities you more than anyone. You think he listens because he cares? No. He listens because he can’t bear the thought of losing another broken thing. You’re a charity case, Reggie. Something to fix.”
“No,” he finally breathed, but the word barely reached the air. It sounded like a lie even to himself.
Sirius laughed—a sharp, ugly sound. “Oh, yes. And James? You could’ve bathed in fire for him, and he still wouldn’t have trusted you. He never will.”
“Stop it,” Regulus said, but his voice cracked.
“You were a replacement,” Sirius said.
Regulus wanted to scream, but no sound came.
He knew it was a lie. He knew.
But the seed had already been planted. And it grew fast, wild, insidious—twisting through every memory he held close. Every soft glance from James. Every laugh from Remus. Every fire-warmed morning where he thought he might have finally carved a place for himself. That maybe, just maybe, they saw him as more than Sirius’ shadow.
Sirius must’ve seen it, because he smiled—a grim, wolfish smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“There it is. There you are. Not the perfect little soldier. Not the martyr. Just the scared boy who always wondered if any of it was real. Maybe this is what you needed. Maybe you needed someone to finally say it.”
He leaned in, voice like poison honey.
“You’ll never be enough. No matter how many graves you dig for your guilt. No matter how many raids you lead or lives you risk. They’ll never choose you.”
“I’m sorry,” Regulus whispered.
Sirius froze.
That—that—made him pause.
The knife wavered. His breath caught. A hitch, subtle but sharp, like something inside him recoiled.
“I didn’t want to take anything from you. Not Remus. Not James. Not even Mother,” Regulus said, voice raw. “I never wanted that. I just… I wanted you to see me.”
Sirius’ face twitched. His lips parted, but no sound came. The knife in his hand quivered.
“Liar,” he rasped.
Regulus swallowed hard, feeling the weight of years pressing on his chest like stones.
The aching years in the Black household, buried under silence and cold glances.
The time he watched Sirius storm out of the manor and never return. Countless times, he wanted to chase after him, but he never dared to. Because the one time he tried, just once, Mother had found him creeping toward the front door, barefoot and wide-eyed, and she had punished him.
Crucio. Once. Then again and again, and again.
“Trying to run, too?” she had hissed. “Are you going to be a traitor like him?”
He was fifteen, and he had screamed until he couldn’t scream anymore. Until the pain blurred the lines of his body. Until the idea of running, of reaching for his brother, felt like a crime.
After that, Regulus stayed in his room.
But sometimes, in the dead of night, he would slip from his bed and tiptoe across the hall. He’d press his ear to the door of Sirius’ room, even after it had been stripped bare. Even after Sirius had gone for good. He would stand there, cold against the wood, pretending he could hear him inside.
He remembered lying awake for hours, staring up at the ceiling, pretending the silence was full of Sirius’ voice. Pretending that the muffled sound of arguments downstairs wasn’t happening. That his brother was still here. That maybe, Sirius had meant it when he used to pull him onto the roof to stargaze. When he used to ruffle his hair and call him “Reggie” like it wasn’t a curse.
He tried. Merlin, he tried—every birthday, every Christmas, every letter he never dared to send. Every time he answered one of Mother’s barbed questions with quiet obedience, hoping that if he played his role well enough, Sirius would come home. Would see that Regulus had done what he couldn’t—survived the Black name. Carried it.
All he ever wanted was to be seen by the person who mattered most. Not as the good son. Not as the heir. Just… as Regulus. As his brother.
And now, all of that, all the sleepless nights, all the prayers to stars Sirius used to name, all the broken pieces he’d tried to hold together with trembling hands, spilled from his voice, raw and unfiltered:
“I talked to the stars you named. I kept your books hidden under my bed. And every time Mother looked at me and saw you, I was proud. Because it meant maybe I hadn’t lost you completely.”
Sirius stared, face flickering with something unreadable. The mask cracked, but only a little. The madness held, but it hesitated.
“I answered all her questions the way I thought you would’ve wanted me to. I kept my head down. I played her game. I let her shape me into what she wanted because I thought—if I stay, if I keep the door open, maybe one day you’ll walk through it again.”
His breath shook, but he didn’t stop.
“Even after all of it, I still loved you. I still hoped that maybe, somehow, you’d know. That you’d feel it. That you’d miss me.”
He met Sirius’ eyes, and for once, his voice didn’t shake.
“I didn’t want to be you. I just wanted to have you. I wanted you to be my brother.”
For a moment, everything held still. The wind stopped. The trees seemed to draw breath. Even the Naiads’ lingering magic recoiled, as if unsure what to do with such naked truth.
Sirius blinked. Once. Then again, longer this time, slower, like his eyes couldn’t quite focus. Like something was coming undone inside him.
His grip loosened, and the knife slipped from his hand and landed beside them in the moss.
“…Reggie?” he whispered, voice barely audible, cracked with disbelief—small in a way Regulus hadn’t heard since they were boys.
Sirius raised and staggered backward, looking down at his hands like they belonged to someone else. His face crumpled, not with rage, but something far more fragile—shame.
“I—I didn’t…” he stammered. He backed up another step, then two, his boots scuffing against roots and soil. “What…?”
His eyes darted around the clearing, wild and disoriented, like he was seeing the forest for the first time.
“Where am I?” he rasped. “What did I…?”
And then his eyes found Regulus again, still on the ground, trembling, bleeding, but no longer flinching. Just watching him.
Sirius’ throat convulsed. He took another unsteady step back. “No,” he breathed. “No, no, no. That’s not—I didn’t—”
He shook his head violently, as if trying to dislodge the memory. As if that might be enough to take it back.
“What did I do?” he murmured, voice cracking under the weight of guilt and confusion.
Regulus pushed himself up on one elbow, his other hand pressed hard against his wounded thigh. Pain twisted through him, but he ignored it. Slowly, he reached out, fingers shaking, voice softer than breath, but steady:
“I’m here,” he whispered, the words carrying more weight than a hundred apologies.
Sirius fell to his knees like a man who no longer had the strength to stand. His shoulders shook.
His eyes were locked on his hands, shaking, bloodstained, curled slightly as if the memory of holding the blade still lingered in his fingers. He stared like he couldn’t quite believe what he had done.
“No,” Sirius whispered, his voice breaking on the syllable. “No, no, no—”
Regulus moved again, slower this time. He reached out again, gently this time, brushing his hand against his brother’s shoulder. The contact made Sirius flinch violently, as if burned, and he scrambled half a step back.
“I didn’t know,” Sirius gasped. “I didn’t know it was you—I couldn’t see—I couldn’t think—”
“I know,” Regulus said softly. “It wasn’t you. It was the Naiads. They took hold of you—fogged your mind.”
Sirius shook his head in frantic denial, curling forward like he could fold in on himself and disappear. “I felt it. I heard myself saying those things. I meant them. I—I wanted to hurt you.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Regulus’ voice was calm. Grounded. Tired. But there was no anger in it. No accusation. Just a quiet truth.
But Sirius wasn’t listening. He rocked forward, curling in on himself, fingers clawing at his knees, as if trying to crawl out of his own skin. His voice was thin, frayed at the edges.
“I said I was glad you were dead.”
“Sirius—”
Sirius looked up, his face contorted in anguish. “I tried to kill you.”
His voice cracked wide open around the word kill and then something in him gave way completely.
He reached out with both hands, hesitating only a moment before gently cupping Regulus’ face. His touch was feather-light at first, almost afraid—like he expected Regulus to vanish if he pressed too hard. His fingers brushed over the split in Regulus’ lip, the cut along his cheekbone, the fresh gash on his brow.
Sirius’ mouth quivered. He blinked like he could hold the tears back, but they broke loose anyway. A sob tore through him, raw and unguarded, and he collapsed forward into Regulus’ arms. His shoulders shook with each breath he tried to take, his hands clinging to his brother’s clothes like an anchor in a rising tide.
“I’m sorry,” he choked, again and again, the words barely comprehensible through the tears. “I’m so fucking sorry, Reggie—I didn’t mean—I didn’t—please—”
Regulus caught him, held him, even though his own body screamed in protest. Blood was still pouring from him, and pain bloomed behind his eyes, but none of it mattered. Not with Sirius breaking in his arms.
“I know,” he whispered, pressing his forehead gently to his brother’s temple. “I know. It’s over.”
Sirius shook his head wildly. “It’s not. I don’t know how to—how to undo any of it—what I said, what I did—”
“You were cursed,” Regulus said. “They twisted everything inside you.”
“But it was in me,” Sirius whispered, brokenly. “All of it. The hatred. The things I remembered—what if it’s true? What if some part of me—”
“Sirius,” Regulus said. “I need you to breathe. Can you do that for me?”
He pulled Sirius closer, his breathing beginning to slow, the ragged sobs tapering into quiet tremors.
“Good. That’s it. Keep breathing,” he whispered, gently running his hand over Sirius’ back.
His brother shifted, and his eyes landed on something—dark, wet, spreading across Regulus’ side.
His heart stuttered.
He pulled back, just enough to see clearly, and his gaze dropped to the jagged tear in Regulus’ shirt. Blood, fresh, sluggish, and sticky, had soaked through the fabric around his ribs, and more glistened along his shoulder, where the skin had been slashed open.
Sirius went still, like something in him had been yanked to a full stop.
“Oh my god,” he whispered, eyes wide. “Reg—Reggie, you’re—”
“I’m fine,” Regulus cut in quickly, too quickly. “It’s nothing. I’ve got murtlap. I’ll—”
“Nothing?” Sirius’ voice cracked. “You’re bleeding, Regulus! You’re soaked in it—how long have you—” He reached out, touching Regulus’ side with shaking fingers, then snatched his hand back when it came away red. “Fuck—fuck, I did that, didn’t I?”
“It looks worse than it is.”
Sirius sat back on his heels, running a hand through his hair, pulling hard enough to sting. He looked unsteady, shaken in a way Regulus had never seen before.
“I said things,” Sirius muttered. “And now you’re bleeding! You should’ve knocked me out cold. Fucking kill me. Instead, you—” He gestured helplessly at the blood, at Regulus’ torn shirt, at the dirt and moss soaked with crimson. “Why the hell would you just let me hurt you?!”
Regulus met his eyes, tired but unwavering. “Because you’re my brother, and I’ve already lost you once.”
He swallowed hard, voice thick. “Give me the murtlap. Let me help.”
Regulus grimaced, trying to sit upright. “Sirius, we can’t stay here. We’re too exposed. We need to move. We need to find shelter.”
But Sirius shook his head violently, eyes wild, jaw tight with something like panic.
“You’re bleeding!” he snapped. “You’re bleeding all over the forest floor, Regulus! You need help now. We can’t just walk around like you’re not—”
“I know I’m bleeding,” Regulus said sharply, then softened his tone. “I know. But if we stay, they’ll find us. The Naiads don’t lose interest, and we’re too close to the water.”
His words were calm, level—but the pallor in his face and the tremble in his limbs betrayed the effort it took just to speak.
“Please,” he said, and the word came out hoarse, almost childlike. “Let me stop the bleeding. Just let me—just for a second—please, I need—”
“I know,” Regulus said softly. “I know you want to help.” He reached out and caught Sirius’ wrist with more strength than either of them expected. His grip was sure, grounding. “But the only way you really can right now is by moving. Getting us somewhere safe.”
Sirius looked down at their joined hands. His fingers twitched. He could still feel the phantom heat of the knife in his hand. Could still see the look in Regulus’ eyes before it had dropped. Guilt crawled over his skin like fire ants, relentless and biting.
Sirius exhaled harshly, then nodded. “Okay. Okay. We’ll find a place. We’ll get you off your feet. Then I’m fixing this.”
Regulus managed the ghost of a smile. It barely lifted one corner of his mouth. “You can do whatever you want when we’re safe,” he said, wincing as he shifted, using Sirius’ arm to help brace himself upright. “I promise.”
Sirius wrapped an arm around his brother’s back and hauled him up as gently as he could. Regulus bit back a cry, his teeth digging into the corner of his lip, but he didn’t complain. They staggered forward together, both of them leaning too heavily on the other, holding on like letting go might break them apart all over again.
The path grew stranger the deeper they went, the trees older, their bark silver-veined and slick. The air turned damper, heavier, thick with a quiet that didn’t feel entirely natural. The ground softened under their boots, sometimes too much—mud sucking at their soles, patches of moss slick enough to trip over. The only sound that followed them was the hush of their footsteps, the shuffle of tired limbs, and the sharp, involuntary intakes of breath whenever Regulus shifted wrong and pain flared up in his side.
Every time that happened, Sirius’ grip tightened instinctively, like he could hold the pain in place. Like he could stop it from spreading just by holding his brother tighter.
Eventually, Regulus lifted a shaking hand, pointing ahead. “There,” he rasped. “Behind that wall of vines.”
Sirius stepped forward first, one hand extended. He brushed the vines aside—and behind them was a hollow in the rock, wide enough for them. Not really the cave they’ve been searching for, but it would do for the night.
Without another word, they ducked inside, and Regulus sagged against the wall, sliding down to sit on a patch of dry earth, his head falling back against the stone, eyes fluttering closed for half a heartbeat.
Sirius knelt beside him, still shaken, still silent.
Then he swallowed hard, voice thick. “Give me the murtlap. Let me help.”
Regulus didn’t argue. He fumbled at his belt, pulling out the vial with fingers that barely worked, and handed it over.
Sirius’ hands were trembling too, but he took the vial with care, biting the cork free and leaning in. He peeled the fabric back from Regulus’ side, revealing the deep gash beneath—angry, red, the skin torn open in a long, jagged line. His jaw clenched at the sight.
“I did this,” he murmured under his breath.
“You were not yourself,” Regulus said, voice soft but steady.
Sirius didn’t answer. He soaked a corner of the cloth with the essence and dabbed it carefully against the wound. Regulus hissed through his teeth and jerked away slightly, but Sirius held steady, whispering an apology he didn’t even know if Regulus heard.
“Merlin,” Sirius muttered under his breath. “This is worse than the time you fell out of that bloody tree in Aunt Druella’s garden.”
Regulus blinked, startled by the memory and by Sirius’ sudden attempt to fill the silence.
“You remember?” he murmured, eyes half-lidded.
“Oh, please,” Sirius scoffed, his voice still rough but tinged now with something lighter. “You were six. Thought you could tightrope-walk across the top branch like a circus acrobat. You made it two steps, screamed like a banshee, and fell into the peonies.”
Regulus gave a tired huff of a laugh. “You’re the one who dared me.”
“I dare a lot of people to do a lot of stupid things,” Sirius said with mock gravity. “But you—Merlin, you landed hard. Scraped your elbow to hell and then immediately put on that voice.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow, lips twitching. “What voice?”
Sirius looked up at him with exaggerated offense. “That voice. The one you used whenever I stubbed a toe or burned my hand on a candle. All sweet and smug and superior.”
Regulus let out a real laugh this time—soft and breathless, but genuine. He groaned immediately after, hand pressing to his side. “Merlin, don’t make me laugh. Everything hurts.”
Sirius’ grin cracked through the weight of guilt on his face like sunlight. “See? That’s the one. You even used that tone when I got my first black eye in third year. I was bleeding all over the carpet, and you waltzed in and went, ‘Honestly, Sirius, how do you always manage to get punched in the face by someone smaller than you?’”
“I wasn’t wrong,” Regulus muttered, wiping his eye, half-laughing, half-crying.
“No. No, you weren’t.” Sirius smiled faintly, applying more of the murtlap and focusing again on the wound. “You were a little bastard. A clever one. Too clever, honestly. And you were always… watching. Like you were trying to figure me out.”
“I was,” Regulus said quietly, leaning his head back against the rock. “I still am.”
Sirius stilled for a moment. Then he laughed under his breath, the sound bittersweet. “Well. Good luck with that. I’ve been trying for twenty-three years, and I’ve got no bloody clue.”
Regulus gave a faint smile. “That’s because you never stop moving long enough to let anyone catch up.”
Sirius didn’t reply. He just kept working, slower now, more gently. The silence returned, but this time it wasn’t sharp. It settled around them like a blanket, thin, patched, but warm in places.
“About what I said earlier—” Sirius began, voice rough with the weight of too many years unsaid.
Regulus opened his eyes slowly, breath shallow, and looked up at his brother through a haze of exhaustion.
“Sirius, don’t,” he said hoarsely. “I told you—you’ve been cursed. Whatever you said wasn’t—”
But Sirius shook his head. “No. No, I need to say this. Naiad magic or not, some of it—some of it was already there.”
Regulus tensed, wary now, not because he was afraid of what Sirius might say—but because he already knew. He always had.
“I hated you,” Sirius said, his voice low, almost like a confession. “I hated you so much after I left.”
Regulus didn’t flinch. He didn’t look away. He just waited, pale and still, like a man sitting through a storm he’s already weathered once before.
“But it wasn’t because of anything you did,” Sirius continued. “I hated you because hating you was easier than missing you. I hated you because I was furious that you stayed when I ran. Because I couldn’t understand how you could still live with them—how you could survive that place and still wear your name like it didn’t burn you.”
“I didn’t wear it,” Regulus said quietly. “I bled under it.”
Sirius looked down, his throat tightening. “Yeah. I know that now.”
He dragged a hand through his tangled hair, shoulders hunched, like he was bracing against his own memories.
“When I left… I told myself you were already gone. That you were too far gone into that pureblood madness, that you'd made your choice. It was the only way I could sleep at night. But then I heard… when I heard you’d died—”
His voice cracked, and he stopped. Regulus’ breath caught, not because of the pain in his side, but because of the look on Sirius’ face. Raw. Young. Haunted.
“I cried,” Sirius whispered, almost ashamed. “I locked the door, turned off every light, and I fucking sobbed. Like a child. Like I hadn’t already buried you years before. Because suddenly, there was no time left. No chance to drag you out, to scream at you, to ask you why. Why you stayed. Why you let it kill you.”
Regulus blinked slowly, eyes wet and burning.
“I didn’t let it,” Regulus said, voice trembling. “It just… caught up to me.”
“I know,” Sirius snapped, more at himself than at Regulus. “But back then—I lost it. I trashed the flat. James tried to stop me. I screamed at him, told him he didn’t understand. He didn’t. He couldn’t.”
He exhaled hard, then looked over at Regulus, jaw tight.
“When I moved in with James… I told them I wanted to get you out. James’ mum—she said they’d take you. Like they took me. You’d have your own room. You’d be safe.”
Regulus froze, stunned.
“I had it all planned,” Sirius said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was going to sneak you out after your exams. I was going to show up one night and just—take you.”
Regulus’ eyes were wide now, shimmering in the dark.
“But when I went back to Grimmauld Place…” Sirius’ voice dropped to a whisper. “She was waiting. And she knew. I don’t know how, but she knew everything. Said if I came near you again, if I even stepped onto the street, she would obliviate you.”
Regulus stiffened.
“She said she’d take every memory you had of me and burn it out of your skull,” Sirius continued, each word sharp and bitter. “Said she’d make sure I meant nothing to you. Just a blank space. You’d wake up one day and not know that you even had a brother.”
Regulus let his head rest back against the stone wall, his throat too tight to speak.
“I didn’t come back after that,” Sirius said. “Not because I didn’t love you. But because I thought I’d make things worse. I thought she’d follow through. And then you died. And I—” He laughed, humourless. “I never even got to find out if you’d have come with me.”
“I would’ve,” Regulus said, almost too softly to hear. “I tried. I made it to the front steps. She found me before I could reach the front door.”
Sirius looked up sharply.
“She dragged me back inside,” Regulus whispered. “I wasn’t strong enough. Not like you. And she made sure I knew it.”
“I tried,” Sirius said, his voice breaking again. “Gods, Regulus, I tried. I was just so fucking young. And angry. And scared. I thought—if I saved you, it would mean I wasn’t a coward for leaving.”
“You weren’t a coward,” Regulus said, and now he looked directly at him. “You were the only one brave enough to run.”
Sirius let out a noise that wasn’t a sob, but close. “But I didn’t save you,” he said. “You slipped through my fingers. And I never got to say—” His voice broke completely. “I never got to say I missed you.”
The silence that followed wasn’t empty.
It was full of wounds too deep for words. Of a hundred unsent letters. Of childhoods divided and hopes abandoned. Of dreams that were once made in whispers between the bedsheets in the dead of night. Of the sound of footsteps walking away and the echo that never left.
Then, after a long, aching pause, Sirius leaned back against the opposite wall of the cave.
“You were always so quiet,” he said. “So careful. Merlin, I used to get so angry at you for it.” He exhaled. “I didn’t realise how lonely you were… not until you were already gone.”
“I never wanted to be your shadow,” Regulus murmured. “I just wanted to be beside you.”
Sirius laughed again, hollow and full of pain. “Well, congratulations, Reggie. We’re finally beside each other. After everything. Just took you dying, and me nearly murdering you in the woods.”
Regulus gave a weak smile. “A bit dramatic, even for us.”
Sirius shook his head. “You know what’s worse than hating someone?” he asked, almost to the air itself. “Missing them. Every day. Every year. Waking up and remembering you wasted your chance—that’s what really killed me. Not the hatred. The grief. The guilt.”
Sirius was quiet for a moment, eyes downcast, then he said, almost abruptly:
“James and Remus… they never hated you.”
Regulus blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in tone.
“Quite the opposite, really,” Sirius went on, his voice tight. “Remus especially. I never understood it. The way you two talked. Like, there was something old between you. Familiar.” He paused, jaw clenched. “You were comfortable around him in a way that used to drive me mad.”
Regulus tilted his head. “Jealous?”
“Yes,” Sirius snapped without hesitation. “Jealous. Furious. I didn’t even know why, not really. But seeing you with him, joking, calm, close—it reminded me of when you were little. Before everything fell apart. Before I left. When you used to look at me like I was your whole bloody world. And then suddenly you were dead, and years later, Remus was looking at you like he knew something I didn’t.”
Regulus lowered his gaze and stared at the dirt floor of the cave, his breath shallow. Then finally, he spoke.
“Because he did.”
“What?” Sirius looked at him, frowning slightly.
“It was a few months after I faked my death,” he said. “I was hiding in the forest just beyond Dunharrow Glen.”
Sirius stilled. Every part of him seemed to focus, waiting.
“I was gathering firewood when I found him,” Regulus said. “Remus. Half-conscious, bleeding out under the roots of an ash tree. His ribs were broken, his leg was torn— ” he swallowed, “looked like he’d been mauled. It was later that I found out that Greyback did that to him.”
Sirius inhaled sharply.
“I brought him to the cottage I was using. Hid him. He was burning up with fever. Kept muttering nonsense in his sleep… your name, mostly. James’. A few others I didn’t recognise.”
Regulus’ voice dropped, his words gentler now, like handling something fragile. “I kept him alive. For three nights. I didn’t sleep. I barely breathed. I thought he was going to die.”
Sirius blinked slowly, stunned. “You… saved him?”
Regulus gave a small nod. “When he finally woke up, I put him to swear that he never saw me. That I was dead and he just too exhausted to Apparate back home.”
Sirius’ eyes burned. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. And then, with effort:
“He never told me. Not even when I lashed out at you and he was there. When I called you—”
“I know,” Regulus said, with a soft exhale. “I know, Sirius.”
Sirius pulled his knees to his chest and dropped his chin to them, like a boy again, small and curled in the corner of their shared childhood room. “James left,” he said suddenly.
Regulus, half-drowsing from pain and exhaustion, blinked. “What?”
“After the Prophet announced your death. He left. Just—vanished.”
Regulus’ eyes snapped to him, sharp and clear. “What do you mean he left?”
Sirius exhaled, voice low, tight, like the memory itself tasted bitter. “He saw me breaking. I think it scared him, the way I was just… collapsing inward. He thought he could fix it. Thought he could find something, anything, to prove you were still alive. Some scrap of evidence.”
Regulus’ mouth had gone dry. “He went looking for me?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, tone clipped. “Went straight into the belly of the beast. He stepped into an ambush without realizing it, probably followed some lead that was planted deliberately. He nearly got himself killed.”
Regulus felt like the cave had shrunk around him.
“Moony panicked,” Sirius continued, his voice harder now. “Ran to Moody, told him James was missing. They tracked him just in time. Dragged him out bleeding. Three broken ribs, a cracked jaw. He didn’t speak for days afterward.”
Regulus’ mouth went dry.
It wasn’t just James’ loyalty to Sirius that had pushed him to that reckless edge. It wasn’t some selfless Gryffindor quest to ease a friend’s grief. That kind of desperation, throwing himself into danger without a second thought, that came from something else. It was the same pulse of fury and love that made him kill the Death Eater who dared raise his wand at James that night.
Regulus’ pulse stuttered.
Sirius had turned toward him now, watching him with cautious eyes. “Reggie?”
Regulus blinked, swallowing hard, trying to steady his breath.
“I’m fine,” he whispered. “Just—tired. That’s all.”
They sat in silence for a long time after that.
Not angry. Not bitter.
Just… still.
Regulus shifted slightly, wincing. “Sirius?”
“Yeah?”
“I forgive you.”
Sirius looked away quickly, as if that was somehow harder to hear than anything else. “I don’t deserve it.”
Regulus closed his eyes, leaning back against the stone. His voice was quiet, sure.
“You never had to. You’re my brother.”
Notes:
Remember the "It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better" tag? I think this chapter covers it pretty well
Chapter 18: Hollow
Summary:
Say hello to possessive, slightly unhinged Regulus ✨😌
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
His breath tore out of him in shallow, broken bursts—each inhale a jagged scrape against his throat, each exhale shuddering like his body had forgotten the rhythm of breathing altogether. His chest rose and fell as though he was still drowning, still clawing toward a surface he couldn’t see, fighting for air that tasted sharp and wrong, heavy with something invisible yet suffocating.
His hand trembled violently, fingers slick with cold sweat, the hilt of the blade almost slipping from his grasp. The dagger’s edge caught a flicker of the dim cave light, a pale glint that seemed to breathe with him, unsteady and fever-bright. For one terrible heartbeat, the light, the walls, the very air around him vanished.
The cave was gone.
He wasn’t here.
He was back there.
Back in the other cave, the one that lived inside his skull, a place of pitch-black, where sound bent and shadows had weight, where the darkness felt not like an absence of light but a presence in itself. Something was in there with him. Something that moved without footsteps.
Something that slid.
It wore the outline of a man, but the shape was only a mockery. Skin stretched too tight over something that didn’t belong inside it, like a mask wet and peeling at the edges. Its eyes were wrong. Far too pale, almost luminous, as if all colour had been boiled away until only a dead white light remained. And the voice—
Gods, the voice was worse.
It was scraped raw, like every word had been dragged over broken glass before it reached him. Hollow, as though it spoke from the depths of a skull that had been empty for centuries, the sound echoing in places no living breath should reach.
“Little traitor,” it whispered. “Come home.”
The walls seemed to lean inward, pressing closer, the very rock shifting to crush him. An icy weight settled across his chest, making each breath an effort, a debt he could barely pay.
And always, always, that voice—taunting, hungry, and impossibly familiar, winding around his spine like a chain.
He thought he had screamed; he was certain he had, but in the way dreams swallow sound, he could not hear himself. He swung the dagger anyway, slicing at empty air, desperate to tear through the black, desperate to carve his way out of a memory that had stopped being just a memory. Somewhere in the blind panic, he understood the thing he feared most: that perhaps he had never left that place at all. That maybe part of him had been left behind, stitched into the walls like the other ghosts that haunted that place.
His eyes snapped open.
The cave.
The fire.
The present.
He jolted upright with a strangled gasp, dagger raised, his arm moving before his mind had caught up. His whole body shook, his chest heaving as if every nerve in him still believed he was fighting for his life. Sweat slicked his forehead, making the curls at his temples cling damp and heavy to his skin. His heart slammed against his ribs with an almost frantic rhythm, like it still hadn’t realised the danger was over.
“Reggie? Hey, hey—it’s me.”
The voice reached him first—urgent, human, warm even.
Not hollow.
Not scraped raw.
Not the thing from the dream.
Sirius.
Regulus blinked hard, once, twice, his lashes sticking faintly together from sweat. The world swam in and out of focus, vision blurring not only from the grit of exhaustion but from the slow, ebbing tremor that still rippled through his body. His arm, rigid from the tension of the dream, finally began to give. The dagger lowered in a reluctant arc, his grip loosening finger by finger until the blade slipped free and landed on the cave floor with a muted clatter that echoed in the enclosed stone.
His hand didn’t immediately follow. It hung there in the air for a moment before dropping heavily into his lap like a branch too brittle to bear its own weight.
The cave light was sparse, the fire only a few feet away. Its glow was low and steady, shadows twitching across the walls in a measured rhythm. On the other side of the flames, Sirius knelt with one knee bent, shoulders hunched forward. He had a stick in hand, the firelight sketching warm gold along the edge of his jaw. His gaze was steady, meeting Regulus’ over the dancing flames.
“Fuck,” Regulus breathed, the word unsteady. The tension poured from his shoulders all at once, leaving them slack and heavy. He slumped back against the stone with a soft, hollow thud, the cool surface pressing between his shoulder blades. A rough hand dragged down his face, fingers catching at the damp along his brow. “You scared the shit out of me.”
Sirius’s expression shifted as he lifted the stick, revealing something small and vaguely rodent-shaped skewered on the end.
“Squirrel?” he asked, voice perfectly even.
Regulus blinked again, this time more in disbelief than fatigue. “What?”
“Quite skinny,” Sirius remarked, tone slipping into the same absent precision he might use to comment on wine at some pure-blood dinner. “But I figured we need the protein.” He rotated the stick slowly between his fingers, the meat giving a faint hiss where it brushed the fire’s heat.
Regulus let out a hoarse laugh—short, abrupt, and fraying at the edges, the kind of laugh that didn’t know whether it belonged to humour or madness.
“Where the hell did you find a squirrel?”
“Outside the cave,” Sirius replied without pause, eyes flicking toward the jagged mouth of the entrance. “Heard it rustling in the bush. Didn’t want to wake you.” A faint grin tugged at his mouth. “Sorry for the snap, though. For a scrawny little shit, it was fast.” Then, softer, the sharpness gone, “How are your wounds?”
Regulus groaned as Sirius leaned forward, fingers already reaching. “Stop coddling me.”
“Tough luck,” Sirius said with an almost smug finality, already tugging lightly at the edge of the bandages. “I’m your big brother. Comes with the job description. Now stop squirming.”
“I’m not—squirming,” Regulus muttered through clenched teeth, though he stilled all the same. Sirius’ hands were steady now. No tremor of guilt, no jagged pulse of old rage. Just hands—calloused, familiar, undeniably present.
“It’s closing,” Sirius murmured, the words half to himself. “Still red, though. Doesn’t look infected.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but the movement lacked conviction. He didn’t lean away. In truth, there was something oddly grounding about the fussing, even if he’d never admit it.
“How long was I out?”
“One hour, maybe two,” Sirius added, glancing briefly toward the fire. “You were talking.”
Regulus’ gaze sharpened. The faint curl of humour left his face entirely. “Talking?”
“Nothing clear,” Sirius said quickly, but his voice faltered on the next words. “But…” He hesitated, like stepping too close to a fault line. “It wasn’t just noise.”
Regulus grimaced, the answer simple, heavy. “Nightmares.”
Sirius gave the bandage one final pat, then sat back on his heels, resuming the slow turn of the stick. The squirrel’s skin crackled faintly, releasing the faintest scent of char. For a moment, Sirius said nothing, the only sound the fire’s low hiss.
“You weren’t just talking nonsense,” Sirius said at last, his voice quieter now, almost tentative. Like he was approaching a sleeping beast.
Regulus’s eyes flicked up, wary. “No?”
Sirius shook his head. “You kept saying something about hands.” His voice thinned, lowering to something barely audible. “Grabbing you. Pulling you down. Drowning.” A pause. “At some point, you called Barty’s name.”
Regulus froze. It was brief, just a hitch in his breath, but enough. The colour drained from his face in an instant, leaving his skin pale as though the warmth had been pulled straight out of him. For a heartbeat, he looked not like someone startled, but like someone who had just been found out.
Sirius straightened slowly, the casual hunch gone from his shoulders.
“Reggie…” His voice was steady, but the pause after the name made it feel heavier. “What happened after you were gone?”
Regulus’s jaw tightened instantly, the muscle flickering like it was trying to grind the question down before it reached his throat. “Nothing,” he said—too fast, the word pitched higher than it should have been. It landed brittle in the air.
Sirius’s eyes narrowed, the flicker of suspicion unmistakable. “Reggie—”
“I said nothing.” His voice cracked against the stone walls, bouncing back at him in ragged echoes that seemed to hang between them like a warning.
Sirius didn’t flinch. Didn’t shift back. The fire threw moving shadows across his face, but his gaze stayed fixed on Regulus, unwavering. The squirrel on its stick had been forgotten entirely.
“When they brought you into Hogsmeade,” Sirius said quietly, voice gone brittle in a way that had nothing to do with anger, “you looked bad. Worse than all of us. You looked like you’d crawled out of your own grave.” His eyes stayed locked on his brother. “And I remember thinking, for half a second… that maybe you had.”
Regulus looked away. Jaw clenched. The fire crackled between them.
“What did you do?” Sirius’s voice was barely above a whisper now.
Regulus said nothing for a long time. Long enough that Sirius began to think the wall was going back up, that his brother had sealed himself off again entirely. But then—
“I found a way to kill Voldemort,” Regulus said, so quietly that Sirius almost missed it beneath the sound of the flames.
Sirius inhaled sharply—and choked. Literally choked. Ash and spit caught in his throat at the same time, and he doubled forward, coughing, the stick in his hand tipping dangerously toward the fire. “WHAT?”
“Lower your voice, idiot,” Regulus hissed, his own gaze snapping toward the cave mouth. “You’ll wake the whole fucking forest.”
Sirius leaned forward until the firelight cut a sharp line across his eyes. The humour was gone. “What do you mean, ‘kill’?”
Regulus’ breath left him in a long, slow exhale, like he was bracing for something that might hit harder than a curse. “I mean, I found a way. Or… a lead.”
Sirius’ stare didn’t waver. “Is that why you faked your death?”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Regulus said, softer now, but no less certain. “If I had stayed—if anyone had known what I was doing—it wouldn’t have worked. I needed Voldemort to believe I was dead.”
Sirius watched him as though trying to recognise a face he hadn’t seen in years, one he wasn’t sure he trusted to be real.
“And the dreams?” Sirius asked, softer now. “The hands? The drowning?”
Regulus closed his eyes, letting his head tip back against the wall. The stone was cold, grounding, but it didn’t make the question lighter.
“There are things worse than dying, Sirius,” he murmured. “Places… you don’t walk out of unchanged.”
Sirius dragged a hand through his hair, fingers tangling in the strands, cursing under his breath. “You always were a stubborn bastard.”
“Pot, kettle,” Regulus’ mouth twitched.
“Touché,” Sirius muttered, but the joke landed flat. His voice shook, just enough for his brother to notice.
“I did it because no one else could,” Regulus said after a beat. “Or would.”
Sirius studied him for a long moment, eyes dark in the firelight. “You didn’t do it alone. Not completely. Don’t lie to me about that.”
Regulus’ jaw flexed, and for the briefest second, something flickered across his face. Shame. Grief. Guilt. Then it vanished again, tucked neatly behind the practiced calm.
Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Who else helped you?”
He looked away. “Kreacher.”
Sirius blinked, as if the name had been pulled from somewhere far outside the expected. “Our house-elf?”
Regulus nodded slowly, his gaze fixed somewhere far beyond the cave walls.
“He was loyal to me. Truly loyal. Even when I wasn’t sure I deserved it. He went with me into the cave… and he came back when I couldn’t.”
Sirius’ lips parted slightly, but he said nothing. Just looked down at the fire, the glow carving out tired lines beneath his eyes. The silence stretched again, and when he finally spoke, his voice was rough.
“What about Crouch and Rosier?”
Regulus went still.
“Barty found me,” he said eventually. “Took me out in time. We’ve been together since.”
The silence that followed was tight and uneasy. Regulus exhaled through his nose, a sound closer to resignation than relief, and pushed himself to his feet. The motion drew a faint wince across his face, gone almost as quickly as it appeared. His movements were stiff, deliberate, as if each joint had been oiled just enough to function but not enough to stop the grind. He allowed himself nothing more than a brief grimace.
“We should keep moving,” he said, dusting the grit from his palms. “We need to reach the caves before sundown.”
Sirius’ gaze slid toward the cave mouth. The light beyond was pale and strained, already thinning under the canopy’s chokehold. Noon or not, the Forest swallowed daylight like a slow, patient predator. Shadows stretched long across the clearing, curling inward in shapes that could almost have been claws.
“How do you even know where they are?” he muttered, bending to grind the heel of his boot over the fire until the embers hissed and spat, surrendering into darkness.
Regulus adjusted the straps on his belt, checking the two daggers sheathed at his hips. “Centaurs,” he said simply.
Sirius froze mid-step. “WHAT?”
Regulus’s head tilted just enough to cast him a look over his shoulder—a sharp, withering thing that needed no words to finish the conversation.
“…What?” Sirius tried again, quieter this time.
“They found me in a clearing yesterday,” Regulus said, turning back to his gear. “After Avery jumped me.”
Sirius’ head snapped toward him. “Avery, what?”
“Well,” Regulus muttered, tugging one strap tighter, “what can I say? I was on a lot of people’s lists yesterday.”
“No wonder you looked like hell,” Sirius muttered. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Because I was bleeding out, and you were busy threatening to gut me for existing,” Regulus said dryly without looking up. “Forgive me if I didn’t think it was the right time for tea and gossip.”
Sirius winced. He deserved that.
Regulus cast one last look around the hollow and stepped past the vines and pushed into the open forest, Sirius trailing behind him. Sirius fell into step behind him, boots snapping twigs and pressing down brittle leaves until the sounds were swallowed by the damp.
The air outside was colder than it had been inside the cave, but sharper too, clean in a way that almost stung the lungs. The scent of wet earth rose from every patch of ground, heavy and grounding. Above, pale light filtered down through the canopy in fractured columns, catching on the lichen that trailed lazily from the branches like curtains.
“Did the centaurs just… show up?” Sirius asked after a while, his voice lower now, as if the forest itself had ears.
“Not exactly,” Regulus said without breaking stride. “They knew I was there. They always do.”
Sirius glanced sidelong at him, a note of unease behind the curiosity. “And they just… helped?”
Regulus didn’t answer immediately. His gaze flicked often to the spaces between the trees, as if following invisible markers Sirius couldn’t see.
“They don’t help. Not really. They don’t interfere. But they watch. And when they see something worth noticing…” His voice dropped slightly. “They speak.”
“And you were worth noticing?”
Regulus gave a faint, humourless smile. “Apparently.”
They moved deeper into the forest, their footsteps falling into an unspoken rhythm. The silence between them wasn’t the same as before. The edges had dulled, the weight shifted. Ahead lay the meeting point, buried somewhere beneath the forest floor, hidden behind traps, spells, and the kind of secrets that didn’t survive in daylight.
The shadows thickened the further they went, and neither of them looked back.
They moved through the underbrush like two feral cats condemned to share the same patch of territory—each step a truce about to break, each glance a silent dare. Branches hissed against leather, damp leaves clung to boots, and the air between them prickled with the kind of mutual irritation only siblings could sharpen to a weapon.
Whatever flicker of warmth had sparked back in the cave had guttered out the instant they stepped into the open.
“You’re walking too loud,” Regulus hissed over his shoulder without breaking stride. His voice carried the tight patience of someone who had been counting his brother’s sins since birth. He ducked under a low branch with smooth, unthinking precision, his shoulders never touching the leaves.
“And you’re walking too slow,” Sirius shot back, his tone pitching high enough to make it deliberately, pointlessly noticeable. He shoved the same branch aside without care and let it snap back in his wake with the calculated indifference of a man absolutely hoping it hit someone.
Regulus caught it with one hand and held it until it stopped swaying. His exhale came through his nose—long, pointed, the sound of someone imagining a thousand better travelling companions.
“I swear, you are incapable of being useful without a theatrical flourish.”
“And you walk,” Sirius muttered, boots crunching over a patch of brittle twigs, “like you’re escorting a coffin. Honestly, do you glide everywhere?”
Regulus stopped dead. Turned. Very slowly. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, as though asking for divine intervention, or perhaps just the emotional restraint required to not commit fratricide in the middle of the forest.
“Do you ever shut up?” he asked, the question flat.
Sirius grinned like a boy caught with his hand in the sweets jar. “Not when I’m enjoying myself.”
“Unbearable,” Regulus muttered, pressing the bridge of his nose between two fingers as if he could physically pinch the headache away. “Utterly, cosmically unbearable.”
“You missed me.” Sirius’ teeth caught the light as he grinned wider, and for the smallest moment, there was something almost genuine in it.
“Missed you the way one misses food poisoning,” Regulus said, resuming his pace.
Sirius trailed after him, muttering something about how at least food poisoning left faster.
Regulus was mid-eye-roll, preparing a fresh insult, when he heard it—a sharp, deliberate crack to their left. Instinct took the reins.
In one fluid, unhesitating movement, Regulus stepped in front of Sirius, arm snapping back to clamp a hand over his brother’s mouth. Sirius stiffened, surprise flashing in his eyes, but to his credit, for once, he didn’t make a sound.
Regulus didn’t look at him. His gaze swept the shadows, carving through them like a blade through smoke. He lifted one hand, just one finger: Silence.
Sirius blinked, slow, his weight shifting as he studied his brother in profile. Regulus’ movements were deliberate, exact, the kind of precision born not from training alone, but from growing up in a world where hesitation was fatal.
Without glancing away from the treeline, Regulus dropped his hand from Sirius’ face and reached for the hunting knife at his hip. The sheath gave a soft whisper as steel cleared it.
His stance changed. Feet apart. Shoulders squared. Every muscle was pulling into a readiness that was all coiled steel.
Another rustle. Closer now.
Sirius leaned forward slightly, breath hitching, and Regulus shot him a look sharp enough to flay skin.
The ferns to their left shifted. Something heavy pressed through them, bending the fronds outward.
And then, from the bramble emerged two figures, stepping into the uncertain half-light that filtered through the canopy: disheveled, wild-eyed, but unmistakably familiar.
James and Remus.
Regulus didn’t move. Didn’t even blink. The knife stayed lowered but firm.
But Sirius inhaled like he’d been punched. Sharp, ragged, his whole body jolting with recognition and the sudden, almost violent urge to move, to run forward, to throw himself into the space and do something, anything.
Regulus’s hand shot out before thought could catch up. His fingers locked hard around Sirius’ arm, muscle and bone under his palm, holding him in place like a tether.
“Wait,” he hissed under his breath.
His eyes, sharp as flint, scanned the intruders, every inch of them. Clothes: torn, dirt-streaked, hanging off them in a way glamour couldn’t fake. Movements: weary, measured, coiled with the wary energy of men who had been hunted. Faces: open, too open, emotions etched raw enough to bleed through the distance.
Still, he didn’t blink.
Remus raised both hands, slow and careful, palms outward like he was sidling up to a cornered wolf.
“It’s us, Reggie,” he said, voice hoarse with travel and time, tentative but steady enough to carry across the short space. His mouth quirked, not quite a smile, more a faint memory of one. “I—uh—still prefer Homer.”
There was a pause, and then Regulus made a sound. It slipped out before he could stop it, half a laugh, half a strangled breath, sharp-edged and cracked down the middle. Disbelief tangled with relief, but there was something older underneath it, something bruised and tender that had been sitting too long in the dark. The sound thinned, frayed, and ended on a sharp exhale that could have been a sob if anyone had been cruel enough to name it.
“You idiot,” he whispered, and he let go of Sirius’ arm.
Sirius didn’t hesitate. He launched into Remus like a wave crashing into the shore, arms flinging around him in a crushing, desperate embrace that bordered on violent. Remus gasped—half-laugh, half-wince—stumbling back under the impact, but his hands were already clutching at Sirius’ jacket like it was the only thing keeping him upright. Then he kissed him, urgent, trembling, the kiss of a man clawing his way back from drowning, shaking with the relief of air.
Regulus turned his face away, instinctively, like he’d glimpsed something too private, too raw to witness.
A choked breath dragged his attention back.
James.
He was standing just a few feet away, his expression thunderstruck. His eyes were on Regulus. Drinking him in. Tracking the bruises, the cuts, the blood crusted into the corner of his lip. The slight hitch in his stance. The stiffness in his shoulder.
Regulus didn’t move.
James took a step forward, hesitant but hopeful, and Regulus stepped back, just barely, but enough. His eyes dropped, and he shook his head once. It was a small, fragile gesture. But it hit James like a slap. He knew Sirius didn’t know about them, but fuck, James wanted to touch him so fucking bad it hurt.
He stopped mid-step, as though he’d walked straight into a wall. His shoulders stiffened. His hands curled at his sides, fists clenched, white-knuckled.
Regulus gave him a tight smile and looked at him fully then.
James Potter was the same—and not. The hair still a mess that defied gravity, the glasses still skewed on his nose, the face still too open, too foolishly noble for this world. But his eyes, Merlin, his eyes, were different. Darker. Not cruel, but carved by something sharp. They held a weight now, a hardness at the edges that hadn’t been there before, like some part of him had been broken and soldered back with jagged seams.
Regulus hated how everything made his chest ache because he was still out of fucking reach.
God, he wanted—just once—to close the space. To cross those few feet and lay his palm against the line of James’ jaw, feel the warmth of skin under his fingers. To press his forehead to James’, to breathe him in like a man might breathe after surfacing from cold, black water. To find the corner of his stupid mouth and kiss it, quietly, without the world in the way.
But the world was still in the way.
So he breathed. Once. Twice. And shoved the ache down into the marrow of his bones where it couldn’t leak out. When he straightened, his expression was unreadable again.
“We need to move,” Regulus said quietly, forcing his voice into something even when it wanted to splinter into pieces. His eyes flicked away from James like the sight had burned him, like any longer and he’d be left nothing but ash. “We shouldn’t stay in the open.”
James’ throat bobbed. It looked almost painful, as if he were trying to swallow something thick and jagged. He gave one short nod, but his eyes never left Regulus, like looking away might make him vanish.
Remus eased away from Sirius with a gentle hand on his chest, like parting waves. Sirius scrubbed at his face with the heel of his hand, blinking fast, pretending not to be crying and failing miserably. He had a hand on Sirius’ back, grounding him, eyes gentle but watchful. And then, slowly, his gaze shifted, past Sirius, to the space between Regulus and James.
He saw it instantly. That invisible thread drawn taut between them. The silence that wasn’t empty but alive—thick with unspoken things, sharp with longing so dense it seemed to hum in the air.
He touched Sirius’ arm again, more deliberately this time.
“Come on,” he murmured, nodding toward the trail ahead. “We should get moving.”
Sirius glanced between his brother and James, suspicion flickering in his eyes, but he only sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Fine.”
The two of them started down the trail, the forest swallowing them slowly, the sound of Sirius grumbling about thorns fading into the distance.
Regulus turned to follow, and that was when James grabbed him.
Fingers—warm, rough, trembling just slightly—closed around his wrist, not harsh but certain. Regulus barely had time to breathe before James spun him back, the movement all instinct, all need. And then James’ mouth was on his.
It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t gentle. It was desperate, clashing, like both of them had been walking around with open wounds that only this could close. Regulus made a small, strangled sound against James’ lips, shock and longing colliding at once. His free hand came up, threading into James’ hair, pulling him closer, like letting go even for a second might break him apart entirely.
The kiss was all heat and something achingly familiar beneath the urgency—the taste of home he’d thought he’d lost.
When James finally tore himself back, his breathing was ragged, his forehead falling against Regulus’s like gravity had pulled it there.
“Merlin, Reggie,” James breathed, his voice trembling. “You’re actually here. I thought—I thought I’d lost you.”
Regulus didn’t answer. Not with words. He surged forward again, catching James’ mouth with his own, fingers curling hard in his hair, the other hand clutching at the back of his neck.
Mineminemine, every nerve screamed, his entire body pressed flush like he could brand the shape of himself into James’ bones.
When they parted again, James kept his forehead pressed to Regulus’, eyes glassy.
“I missed you so fucking much, love. Every damn minute.”
Regulus exhaled shakily, his lashes lowering as his eyes fluttered shut. “Missed you too, James,” he whispered, letting himself lean, just for this moment, into the warmth of him.
James’ hand rose, tracing the edge of a bruise along Regulus’ cheek. His expression shifted in an instant—from soft awe to something darker. His jaw tightened, eyes sharpening.
“Who did this to you?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.
Regulus opened his eyes, weary but calm. “Just Avery,” he murmured. “Tackled me yesterday. It wasn’t—he didn’t get far.”
James’ jaw tensed. “Fucking bastard,” he growled, venom low in his throat. “I’m going to kill him.”
A quiet, breath-soft laugh slipped from Regulus—warm, almost tender—before he leaned in to press a kiss to James’ cheek.
“When did your Gryffindor heart turn so cold, hmm?” he teased, voice frayed but lighter.
James’ lips twitched into that crooked, lopsided grin Regulus hated for how much it still wrecked him.
“Probably when some sly little Slytherin stole it.”
“The scoundrel!” Regulus gasped in mock offense, pressing a hand over his chest. “He ought to give it back to you.”
James shook his head, nose brushing Regulus’ as he leaned in closer. “Let him keep it.”
They lingered there—breathing the same air, foreheads touching, suspended in that fragile, golden pause that could have gone on forever.
“We should go before Pads realizes we’re gone,” James said softly, though he made no move to pull away.
Regulus pouted like a petulant child. “Rude.”
James chuckled, low in his throat, and bent to murmur in his ear, voice warm enough to burn. “No worries, love. I’m certain the second we reach the cave, Moony and Padfoot will vanish. And then… we can continue.”
Regulus’s lips curved into something slow and wicked. “Is that a promise, Potter?”
James smirked, brushing a thumb along his jaw. “Always.”
And with fingers still barely grazing each other, they finally turned toward the path, the forest swallowing the space around them—but not the pull between them.
The path had narrowed as they climbed, the worn stone trail twisting higher through the trees until it was barely a suggestion beneath their feet. Moss spilled over the edges, greedy and thick, and brambles clawed at their ankles like the forest was reluctant to let them pass. Vines dangled from the canopy above, fat with dew, catching on their hair and shoulders. In the pale light that filtered down, spiderwebs shimmered, trembling slightly in the faint breeze, like the forest was breathing around them.
The air cooled as they climbed, thinning in a way that made every breath feel sharper. Even Sirius fell quieter, though only because he was too busy batting away the green, reaching things to make proper conversation.
They skirted an ancient elm, its bark thick and grooved like wrinkled skin, and spotted a nest of bowtruckles clinging to its side. The tiny, twig-limbed creatures lay perfectly still, eyes like splinters of amber, until Sirius’ boots scuffed a little too close. One hissed like a kettle, snatching up a shard of bark and flinging it with deadly precision. It whistled past his ear close enough to stir his hair.
Sirius yelped, jerking sideways. “Oi! I wasn’t going to touch your bloody tree!”
Further up, they heard the cry of something else, something low and ululating, the sound bouncing between trees with no visible source. Regulus didn’t even flinch.
“A mooncalf,” he said absently, brushing a vine from his shoulder.
But it wasn’t the mooncalves or the bowtruckles that forced them off the trail.
It was the giants.
The group had just passed an old stone outcropping, half-swallowed by earth, when the first rumble rolled through the ground. A long, slow vibration, deep enough to rattle their bones.
James grabbed Remus’ arm. “Tell me that was thunder.”
But then came the second.
And the third.
The ground seemed to groan with each step of something massive. Branches cracked in the distance with the sharp report of breaking bone. The air carried a noise that was almost breath but far too large.
“Off the trail. Now,” Regulus hissed, already veering left into the thick of the woods.
They moved quickly, ducking behind tangled undergrowth, crawling through a fallen hollow log slick with moss. Through the leaves, Sirius caught a glimpse of one: thirty feet tall, hunched and leathery, dragging a club as big as a tree trunk. Another followed behind it, mumbling in guttural grunts, occasionally stomping at the ground as though crushing insects beneath its heel.
They waited, breath held, until the sound faded uphill and east.
“They don’t usually come this far down. Voldemort must’ve rallied them,” Regulus whispered.
When the forest finally fell still, they returned to the trail in silence. The climb felt steeper now, every shadow heavier.
By the time they reached the caves, the sky was sinking into darkness. The mouth of the nearest one gaped open, an arch of jagged stone ringed with creeping ivy. Cold air spilled out, smelling of damp earth and something deeper, older. It was the sort of dark that could swallow a dozen men whole and still be hungry.
They stepped inside cautiously. Their footsteps echoed, the sound swallowed and returned in strange, muffled whispers. The walls glistened with condensation, and deeper within, a slow, steady drip punctuated the quiet like the ticking of a distant, unseen clock.
They walked just far enough to escape the light outside and started a small fire. Bags dropped to the floor with muted thuds, the weight of exhaustion settling in with them.
Regulus immediately set to work, pulling a stick of chalk from his pocket and drawing sharp, purposeful lines along the cave wall and around the entrance. Wards, most likely. Or ancient runes only he could read. His movements were exact, practiced, the air humming faintly with the soft sting of static magic.
James crouched near the mouth, eyes scanning the trees beyond the ivy veil. He hadn’t taken his hand off his knife since the giants. Remus sat cross-legged near the fire, unpacking their meager supplies: a bit of dried meat, a dented flask of water, and the broken remains of a biscuit someone had stepped on hours ago.
“Wood,” Sirius muttered, scanning the dim cave mouth through the flickering firelight. “We’ll need some before it gets too dark.”
“I’ll go,” James offered without hesitation, already pushing himself up, rubbing the dust from his trousers.
“No.” Regulus didn’t look up from his work, but the word cut clean. “We go in pairs. We don’t split up.” His gaze flicked between them, sharp and unyielding. “Too risky.”
James arched an eyebrow, not moving, but he didn’t press it.
“Then I’ll go with James,” Remus offered, his voice calm but carrying a note that made it clear this wasn’t a suggestion. “Sirius, Reg, you two start making another fire pit. We’ll need something solid if we’re staying here.”
Sirius blinked in surprise. “What are you now, Head Boy?”
“Just smarter than you,” Remus said flatly.
Regulus rolled his eyes but stepped toward the fire, stooping to rearrange the embers. “Focus. We need something that burns long and slow. No flashy sparks.”
Sirius made a face, but he was about to speak when—
POP.
A sound like a bone snapping cut the silence.
Sirius spun around, knife halfway drawn, but the Death Eater was already behind James —hooded, masked, one gloved hand twisted in the collar of his jacket, the other pressing a wand into the soft hollow beneath his jaw.
James froze instantly, spine straightening, hands splayed out in peace.
“Now, now,” the Death Eater cooed, voice rich with mockery, “isn’t this precious? What a touching little campfire scene. Four war-weary rebels. You’ve done so well not to die.”
The fire popped in the silence that followed. Its light flickered against Regulus’ face—white and sharp as carved marble.
The Death Eater’s wand pressed deeper, forcing James’ chin up just enough to expose the vulnerable line of his throat.
“Drop the weapons,” he ordered.
For a moment, no one moved.
Then, with a deliberate slowness, Remus crouched and set his knife down on the stone. The metallic clink was louder than it should have been.
Sirius followed a beat later, his jaw clenched tight, eyes never leaving James. He let the blade fall, hands spread where they could be seen.
“Good,” the Death Eater drawled. “Now you, too, Black.”
Regulus didn’t move. His dagger still hung loose in his hand, tip pointed toward the ground, fingers relaxed—not tense, but ready.
“Reggie,” Sirius hissed. “Reggie, drop it.”
But when Sirius met his brother’s eyes, the words died in his throat.
He’d seen Regulus angry before. He’d seen him cornered, wounded, and dangerous. But this wasn’t any of those.
This wasn’t his little brother.
This was something else.
Something that had survived more than any of them had guessed. There was no rage behind that gaze. No snarl, no shout, no flare of temper. Just a deadly, precise stillness. The kind born not from panic, but decision. It was the stillness of a snake before it strikes.
Sirius had only seen that look once before—on Moony, when the wolf caught scent of prey. But even that wild, guttural instinct had something human behind it. Regulus didn’t.
Regulus was ice.
His voice, when it came, was flat, devoid of fear.
“Draw a single line of blood,” he said softly, “and I will make sure you die choking on your own.”
The Death Eater laughed, the sound coarse and ugly inside the mask.
“You children still think this is a game?” He wrenched James back by the hair, baring his throat, and pressed his wand harder. James’ breath hitched.
“Do you think I haven’t seen your kind before? Rebels. Martyrs. I’ve buried a dozen of you.”
Regulus’ jaw flexed once.
“Drop the wand,” Remus said suddenly, calm but steely. “You won’t make it out of here alive otherwise.”
“You think you scare me, little Black? Look at you. The four of you, pathetic. The golden boy,” he hissed, shaking James slightly, “the blood traitor, the werewolf, and the ghost.” He turned his sneer to Regulus. “You shouldn’t even be alive.”
James shifted, trying to twist free, but the wand dug deeper into his neck. A bead of blood welled there—slow and bright, sliding over his collarbone. The tip of the wand began to glow faintly, that deadly green building at its heart.
Sirius’ breath caught.
“Your father sends his regards,” the Death Eater whispered, his eyes locked onto Regulus. His voice curled with venom and pride, like it meant something. “Av—”
The rest of the curse dissolved into a wet, tearing gurgle.
Something silver flashed—Regulus’ knife, thrown with terrifying speed, buried itself deep in the Death Eater’s throat. Flesh split. Cartilage crunched. Blood exploded out in a hot, arterial spray.
James staggered, his hands flying up too late to shield himself. He gasped, the metallic warmth splashing across his face, slick and hot. It soaked into his collar, clung to his lashes. The Death Eater stumbled back, eyes wide, gagging. He clutched at his throat, hands scrabbling uselessly against the torrent of blood that pulsed between his fingers.
Regulus was already moving. It was as if he’d known. As if the entire sequence had played out in his mind before it ever happened. He crossed the cave in three strides, swift and purposeful. He caught the man’s collar just as he collapsed to his knees and yanked him upright with terrifying strength. Then, without hesitation, Regulus ripped the blade free in a vicious motion that opened the wound wider.
The Death Eater gurgled. His lips moved, mouthing something that never made it into words. Blood bubbled over his tongue.
“I told you,” Regulus whispered, voice low and cold, “one—”
The knife came down again with a sickening thud.
“—line—”
Again, deeper this time, splattering blood across the stone floor.
“—of fucking blood.”
He let go, shoving the man backwards. The body hit the cave wall hard, then crumpled to the ground in a heap of limbs and robes, twitching once, twice, and then still. Blood spread beneath him in a growing pool, seeping into the cracked stone like ink into old parchment.
No one moved.
James didn’t move. He stood rigid, breath shallow, blood dripping from his chin to his collarbone. His eyes were wide, stunned. His mouth parted slightly as if he were still catching up with what had just happened.
Sirius had frozen mid-step, expression twisted with disbelief, as though he no longer recognized the person standing across from him. His fingers twitched uselessly at his sides.
Remus remained perfectly still, his fists clenched so tight his knuckles had turned bone-white. He looked between Regulus and the corpse, his jaw tense, something unreadable flickering in his eyes.
The cave crackled with the sound of the fire. Outside, wind howled softly through the trees, but inside, everything had turned to stone.
It was Remus who broke the silence at last, though even he sounded reluctant to do it. His voice was steady, but there was a thin, unmistakable thread of unease running through it.
“You killed him.”
Regulus didn’t turn around. He crouched beside the body, wiping the blade clean on the Death Eater’s bloodied robes. His movements were precise. Almost ritualistic. When he stood again, it was with the steadiness of someone who had done this before. Many times.
“You threw a knife into his throat,” Sirius whispered, almost disbelieving. “Reg—what the fuck?!”
“Yes.” Regulus didn’t blink. Didn’t flinch. Just… acknowledged it, as if they’d commented on the weather.
James dragged his sleeve across his face. The blood smeared instead of disappearing, streaking his cheek and jaw, but he didn’t seem to notice. He swallowed, cleared his throat, and rasped,
“Well. That was—” His voice caught. He tried again. “That was fast.”
Sirius stepped forward. “What the hell was that, Reggie?”
“Collateral damage.”
“Fuck, Reggie. That’s not funny.”
“Who said I wanted to be funny?” Regulus asked simply.
“You didn’t even hesitate, Reggie! You didn’t blink! You gutted him like it was nothing.” Sirius snapped.
Regulus finally met his brother’s gaze. The look there made Sirius falter.
“What the hell happened to you?” Sirius asked, softer now, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.
“War,” Regulus answered flatly.
Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus stepped in before the conversation could burn hotter. “We should burn the body,” he said, calm and practical.
“No,” Regulus said, brushing past them as if the topic was already closed. “We don’t waste wood.”
He jerked his chin toward the cave mouth. “Drag him outside. The forest will take care of him.”
There was something in the way he said it that made no one argue.
Without another word, he turned sharply toward James. He didn’t ask. Didn’t speak. Just reached out and caught James by the chin, angling his face toward the firelight. His grip was firm, fingers cold and unyielding.
James swallowed hard. “Reggie,” he murmured.
“Stop fussing,” Regulus hissed, voice tight, as he tilted James’ head further.
“I’m fine,” James said, trying to pull back, his tone more cautious now. “Really. He didn’t even cast—”
“Let me fucking see it,” Regulus snapped, voice suddenly sharp. But underneath it, there was something else. A tremor. A faint, breaking thread that made James go still. Real, visceral, bone-deep fear.
James stopped moving. He went utterly still, eyes wide, breath held—and slowly, gently, he reached up and covered Regulus’ hand with his own.
“Okay,” he said, quiet as a breath. “Okay. I’m here.”
And still, Regulus didn’t move for a moment. His fingers stayed where they were, resting along James’ throat, as if checking for a pulse. As if needing proof that he was still warm. That a pulse still beat under his touch.
His eyes were fixed on the thin line of red where the wand had pressed too hard, where it had almost—almost—
His hands began to shake, and James suddenly understood.
Regulus wasn’t angry. He was breaking. He had nearly watched James die in front of him. Again.
Regulus pulled away like he’d been scalded. He didn’t look at James, didn’t say a word. He took three steps back, each one faster than the last, then crouched abruptly in the farthest corner of the cave, spine pressed to the wall as if needing it to hold him up. He pulled something from his belt, a strip of cloth, stained and fraying, and wrapped it around the hilt of his dagger with hands that moved too quickly, too purposefully. He gripped it like a lifeline, scrubbing it in short, violent bursts even though the blade was already clean.
He just needed something to do. Anything to keep his hands moving. Anything to keep the thoughts out.
Because if he stopped, if he let himself breathe, he’d feel it. All of it.
The crushing pressure of what almost happened.
Of what could still happen.
James, stiff with shock, the glow of green magic building beneath his chin, the wand pressed to the soft skin of his throat.
James, mouth open in shock, light going out of his eyes, his body crumpling like the others Regulus couldn’t save.
James dying.
He couldn’t—he wouldn’t survive that.
Regulus pressed the cloth harder against the blade until it creaked in his grip. His fingers were going raw from it. His knuckles had gone white, but he didn’t let up.
“Reggie,” James called his name, voice low and steady, like one might use with a frightened animal or a boy standing too close to a cliff’s edge. He slowly knelt in front of him, careful not to make a sudden move. “Look at me.”
But Regulus didn’t. He couldn’t. His eyes were locked on his own hands, fingers twitching violently, twitching like they weren’t his at all. They were smeared with red, drying at the edges, crusted into the fine lines of his knuckles. The dagger lay abandoned at his side now. What held his attention were the drops. Wet, silent. Falling.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
They landed on the backs of his hands.
At first, he thought it was blood.
But it wasn’t.
It took too long for him to realize they were tears.
The breath that shuddered out of his chest was sharp and wet and ragged. He blinked. Once. Then again, harder. As if trying to force the tears away by will alone.
But they kept coming.
He had forgotten what this felt like. The burn in his eyes, the raw ache in his throat, the betrayal of his own body as it forced him to feel.
Regulus Black didn’t cry anymore. That part of him had been buried somewhere between the night he drank poison and the day he watched a boy scream for his mother as he burned.
“Love,” James whispered.
The word slipped in like light under a locked door. A different voice now. A softer one, threading itself through the panic, tugging gently at the edge of Regulus’ crumbling mask.
“Hey,” James breathed. “Hi there.”
He reached out and cupped Regulus’ face in both hands. His palms were warm—God, so warm—thumbs brushing away the wet tracks running down Regulus’ cheekbones. The tears came faster for it, not slower.
Regulus flinched at the touch, but only for a second.
Then, slowly, brokenly, he leaned into it like a man starved for warmth. For kindness. For anything good.
He closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against James’ palm, and took a breath that nearly buckled his whole chest. It was like something inside him cracked open, something old and cold and buried, and the flood came pouring through the break.
“There you are,” James murmured, voice trembling as he kissed Regulus softly on the brow, then again on his temple, lips gentle and grounding. “There you are. I thought I lost you for a moment.”
Regulus let out a sound, half sob, half laugh, and his hands came up and clutched at James’ wrists, desperate to hold on to something that mattered, something real amidst all the blood and horror. His grip was too tight, shaking, but James didn’t pull away.
“You didn’t,” Regulus whispered hoarsely, barely audible. “But I—I think I lost myself a little.”
James leaned in closer, until their foreheads touched, breath to breath, heartbeat to heartbeat. He held Regulus’ face like it was something precious, something worth saving.
“Then I’ll find you again,” he murmured. “I’ll be here. Every time.”
Regulus blinked hard, but the tears kept coming. His lips parted like he wanted to say something else, but nothing came out.
A long silence passed between them. No one interrupted it.
Somewhere behind them, at the mouth of the cave, Sirius turned to look and stopped when he saw them like that, curled into each other like two war-worn halves of the same broken heart. His throat worked, but he said nothing. He just reached for Remus’ hand, gave the gentlest of tugs, and they both quietly stepped away, giving the moment the reverence it deserved.
Inside the cave, Regulus exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding for what felt like hours—years.
“I was so scared,” he whispered. “I couldn’t move. I saw that wand at your throat and—and if he’d said the words—if you’d fallen—I…”
“But I didn’t,” James said, firm and soft all at once. He leaned in and kissed him again, this time on the lips, slow and sure.
“I’m here,” James murmured against his lips. “Always will be, love.”
Notes:
I am sure that some of you absolutely lived for the siblings' angst, but I am weak, ok? Sue me
This doesn't mean that the angst is over, mind you ✨
Regarding the “Who did this to you?” slip? I DID MY WAITING! 18 CHAPTERS OF IT!
Chapter 19: The forest keeps its secrets
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Remus stood a little off to the side of the cave entrance, arms folded tight across his chest. The posture looked casual, but the set of his jaw betrayed the tension under his skin. His eyes followed Sirius as he paced the small clearing, boots grinding over damp earth.
There was a strain in Sirius’ movements—not quite fury, not quite fear. Just… something that had nowhere to go. An agitation that lived under the skin and refused to be shaken off. The body they’d dragged out of the cave lay crumpled in a thicket of brambles a few meters away.
“You seem…” Remus said softly, choosing his words with care, “Okay.”
Sirius let out a short, sharp scoff that cracked in the middle like brittle glass. He didn’t stop moving.
“Okay? About what, exactly?” His tone was tight, every word bitten off. “The fact that my little brother just slit a Death Eater’s throat without a flicker of hesitation? Or the fact that my little brother and my best mate are apparently together and somehow thought that didn’t warrant—oh, I don’t know—a fucking mention?”
Remus exhaled slowly, dragging a hand down his face. “Don’t do this, Sirius.”
“Do what?” Sirius’ head snapped toward him.
“Make a scene. Twist the knife. Make them feel guilty for… choosing each other.”
Sirius stopped pacing, though the tension still thrummed in him like a pulled bowstring. His brows knit together—not in anger, not exactly. The look was heavier than that. It was confused. Wounded.
“Why the hell would I do that?”
Remus blinked, caught off guard. That wasn’t the answer he’d expected. “What?”
Sirius’ laugh was thin and ugly. He raked a hand through his hair, the motion jerky enough to pull at the roots.
“You think I’m mad at them?” He gave another sharp laugh, though it rang hollow. “No, Moony. I’m mad at me.”
Remus tilted his head. “Why?”
“I’m not blind.” Sirius leaned back against a tree, arms hanging loose at his sides like he’d run out of the strength to keep them braced. “I’ve known Prongs since we were eleven, for fucks sake. I’ve seen him at his most idiotic, his most reckless, his most… heroic. And I saw the way he looked at Reggie before he even realized it. It was like watching the slowest disaster in the history of magic.”
Remus stayed quiet. Sirius’ gaze had gone distant, like he was watching some scene only he could see.
“I saw it,” Sirius continued, softer now, fraying at the edges. “And I ignored it. Told myself James just… pitied Regulus. Or maybe it was that noble streak of his, the one that makes him want to save everyone. I even joked about it once.” His lips twisted. “In the library. I said something like, ‘If Prongs stares at him any longer, he’s going to set his bloody robes on fire.’ And I laughed.”
He looked up at Remus then, and for the first time in years, he looked startlingly young. Like a boy who’d believed that if you loved someone enough, you could keep them safe.
“I laughed, and I knew,” he whispered. “And I still said nothing.”
Remus stepped toward him, slow and careful. “You couldn’t have known how serious it would get. James was still with Lily then, and Regulus wasn’t speaking to any of us. You can’t punish yourself for not predicting this.”
“It’s not about predicting it,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head. His hands curled into loose fists. “It’s about how far away he feels now. Like he’s… built this whole other life somewhere I’m not allowed. And I’m his brother, Moony. I’m supposed to know him. I’m supposed to protect him. But I don’t even recognize the man in there.”
His voice cracked—just slightly—before he caught it and forced it flat again.
“For fuck’s sake, I tried to kill him earlier,” he added, barely above a whisper.
Remus froze. “…What?”
“Naiads got me,” Sirius muttered quickly, eyes darting away. “But still—I should’ve been a better brother. I should’ve…” He trailed off, shaking his head like the rest of the sentence was too dangerous to finish.
They stood in silence for a beat, the wind pushing through the trees like a soft warning.
Finally, Sirius’ voice came again, quieter this time. “Do you think they’ll make it? In all this?”
Remus’ answer was measured, but there was something firm in it too. “They’ll fight like hell. And I think… maybe that’s enough.”
Sirius didn’t respond. He tipped his head back against the tree and closed his eyes, letting the bark dig into his skull. His breathing slowed, and the restless pacing finally stilled.
Then, almost absently, he murmured, “He really fucking stabbed that bloke for him.”
Remus snorted. “Right in the throat.”
Sirius let out a long, mournful sigh, dragging a hand down his face until his palm practically tried to pull his jaw off.
“It’s just… weird, Moony. James is all heart and stupid Gryffindor idealism and—” He waved vaguely, like the word was hovering somewhere in the air. “—loyalty. The man bleeds loyalty. It’s admirable and disgusting at the same time.”
Remus’ mouth twitched.
Sirius threw both hands up. “Regulus is a feral cat with a knife in his boot and a death wish. He hisses when he’s cornered. You’ve seen him. He’s one bad day away from living under a rock.”
Remus allowed himself the faintest smile. “And somehow, that works.”
“It shouldn’t!” Sirius cried, now pacing a little as the injustice of it all was physically painful. “You put those two in a room and you expect a duel or at least some witty back-and-forth. Not—whatever the hell is happening in there.”
Remus snorted. “You mean, intense eye contact and unhealthy amounts of emotional repression?”
“Yes, exactly!” Sirius said, pointing. “That, followed immediately by some big dramatic monologue about trauma, and then—ugh—touching.” He shuddered so hard his hair actually swished.
Remus’ lips twitched. “You sound jealous.”
Sirius stopped dead and gave him a look of pure, aristocratic offence.
“I’m not jealous. I’m traumatised. There’s a difference. I walked in on James and Lily snogging once and nearly threw up. And that was tame. With these two?” He shook his head violently. “I don’t want to imagine what they do during.”
Remus, of course, immediately started imagining it.
“Well,” he said thoughtfully, “they’ve probably stopped crying, talking, and brooding by now, which means…”
“…they’re probably doing it,” Sirius finished, with the tone of a man pronouncing his own death sentence.
“Right now,” Remus added cheerfully.
Sirius made a sound like a dying animal. “Do you think if I announce myself very loudly before entering, they’ll have the decency to put clothes on?”
Remus considered. “I think they’ll pretend they didn’t hear you and double down.”
Sirius groaned and threw himself face-first onto the forest floor, arms flopping out like he was trying to leave a perfect chalk outline for his inevitable murder.
“Can I Obliviate myself in advance? Just… proactively scrub it from my memory?”
“That’s not how that works.”
He groaned again, louder, kicking one boot uselessly at a patch of moss. “I miss when the most scandalous thing James ever did was charm his underwear to stay warm during Quidditch.”
Remus patted his leg, utterly unsympathetic. “You’ll live.”
“No, I won’t. One day, I’m going to walk on them and see something I can never unsee, and I will die instantly. Just keel over from second-hand emotional intimacy. The Healers will have to write that on my cause of death.”
Remus laughed again, louder this time, and shook his head. “You’re such a baby.”
“And you,” Sirius shot back, “are far too comfortable picturing my brother and my best friend having sex on a pile of firewood.”
“I’m just saying,” Remus said with an unholy glint, “at least knock before going in.”
“It’s a cave, Moony! THERE ARE NO DOORS.”
“Well,” Remus said brightly, pushing himself to his feet, “then I guess we’ll have to wait here a little longer.”
Sirius rolled onto his back and stared up at the canopy like he was praying for divine intervention.
“I’m going to throw myself into the bush with the body.”
Remus offered him a hand up. “You say that now, but you’re going to be telling this story at their wedding someday.”
“Don’t,” Sirius muttered, grabbing his hand and letting himself be hauled upright. “Don’t speak that evil into the world.”
By the time Sirius and Remus made their way back to the cave, the forest was almost drowned in darkness. The air was cooler now, the heat of the day bleeding off the stones, and a hush had settled over the clearing like a held breath.
They ducked into the mouth of the cave without speaking, Sirius trailing a few steps behind. The damp scent hit him first, followed by the familiar flicker of firelight on stone. His shoulders tightened automatically. He’d been bracing himself for… well, anything, really—some combination of awkwardness, the sort of clumsy intimacy that made him itch to look away, or worse, something graphic enough to etch itself into his brain forever.
He thought he was ready, but what he saw stopped him cold.
Against the far wall, half-lost in the shifting shadows, sat James. He was leaning back against the stone, legs stretched out in front of him, his posture exhausted but strangely… at peace. His knife lay forgotten on the floor, glinting faintly in the firelight. One arm was wrapped around Regulus, holding him with a kind of loose protectiveness that didn’t look forced or deliberate—it just was.
Regulus was curled into him, head resting in James’ lap, his breathing deep and steady. The sharp, guarded angles of his face had smoothed in sleep, every line of tension eased away. Sirius almost didn’t recognize him like this. There was no mask here, no hidden blade behind the eyes—just quiet, human exhaustion.
James’ other hand was tangled in Regulus’ hair, combing through the strands with slow, unconscious care, again and again. He wasn’t looking at his hand, though; his gaze was fixed on Regulus’ face with the kind of unflinching attention Sirius had only ever seen James reserve for the Snitch in a match. But this wasn’t a competition. This was steady, unguarded, and so absurdly gentle that Sirius’ chest gave an involuntary lurch.
This wasn’t what he’d expected. Not the quiet. Not the ease. Not the sight of his best friend holding his little brother like something breakable and worth protecting. The image hit him with the uncomfortable weight of inevitability—like the two of them had been moving toward this for far longer than Sirius had realized, and he was only just catching up.
There was no performance in it. No self-consciousness. Just something honest.
James looked up, catching Sirius’ stare.
He didn’t speak. Didn’t rush to explain, didn’t offer a sheepish grin or a plea for understanding. He just held Sirius’ gaze and gave the smallest of nods. It wasn’t an apology. It wasn’t asking for permission. It was a statement, wordless and solid.
This is what it is. This is who I love. You can hate me for it, but I won’t stop.
For a moment, Sirius stood suspended in the space between one breath and the next. Then something, he wasn’t sure what, gave way. Not in defeat, but in release. The tight knot in his chest loosened. The tangled mess of resentment and fear began to unspool.
And to his own surprise, he smiled.
Not the sharp smirk he used when he was covering for discomfort. A real smile. Tentative, a little crooked, but genuine. It felt strange on his face, as though he was using a muscle that had nearly atrophied. But it felt… good.
He stepped inside, quiet as the fire’s crackle, and sank down beside Remus against the opposite wall. The stone was cool against his back, grounding. He exhaled slowly, like setting down a weight he’d carried far too long.
The quiet settled around them again, deeper now. Regulus stirred once, brow twitching in some half-formed dream, but James murmured something low and steady, his fingers shifting to stroke the nape of his neck. The tension eased from Regulus’ face; his breathing evened again.
Sirius watched, arms draped loosely over his knees. After a long while, he spoke, barely above a whisper.
“He’s good for him.”
Remus turned, brow raised. “James or Regulus?”
A small huff of laughter escaped Sirius. “Both. Somehow.”
The three of them sat there for a long time, the fire painting their faces in restless orange light. Outside, the forest pressed close, a war waiting just beyond the tree line, but here, in this pocket of warmth and shadow, something fragile was managing to survive.
Eventually, James shifted with a quiet groan, stretching his neck until it popped. His back protested the movement, but he didn’t complain. Instead, he carefully slipped off his jacket, folding it into a makeshift pillow, and eased Regulus down onto it.
Regulus mumbled something in his sleep, not quite waking. One hand reached out blindly, brushing James’ knee. James lingered there for a breath, his eyes soft, before finally pushing himself upright.
He looked toward Sirius, tilting his head toward the entrance. No words passed between them.
Sirius simply rose, brushing the dust from his trousers, and followed. Together they slipped past the heavy ferns, stepping into the night.
They walked for a moment in silence, the kind that crackles with words just beneath the surface.
Eventually, James slowed, coming to a stop beside a boulder covered with moss. He let out a long breath, shoulders dipping as though he’d been holding them too high for too long. One hand dragged through his hair, a nervous habit Sirius had seen a thousand times, but it didn’t seem to help tonight.
When James finally spoke, his voice was low, almost testing the air. “You mad at me?”
Sirius leaned against the nearest tree, arms crossed. His face gave nothing away, but when he answered, the words were steady.
“No. Merlin, no.” He paused, eyes narrowing slightly, studying James. “I just… when?”
James’ gaze dropped to the ground, then lifted slowly toward the canopy above, where the stars burned faintly through the branches.
“Before the night of the trial.”
Sirius blinked. “Before? You mean this wasn’t just—” he waved a hand vaguely between them “—trauma-bonding? Heat-of-the-moment? ‘We might die, so let’s kiss’?”
James gave him a look. “Do I look like I would risk my neck, literally and metaphorically, for anything less?”
“Honestly?” Sirius snorted. “You’re a Gryffindor. You’ve done stupider things.”
That got a quiet laugh from James.
“But seriously,” Sirius added, voice dipping low again. “You and Reggie… when did that even happen?”
James hesitated, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Remember that mission Dumbledore sent me on? Right before the obituary came out?”
Sirius’ eyes narrowed. “The one in Perth?”
“Yeah. Supposed to be routine. In and out. Only it wasn’t. Someone tipped them off.” James’ voice grew quieter. “I got jumped in an alley by a Death Eater. Didn’t even have time to pull my wand before he had one on me—spell ready, killing curse on his lips. And I thought—” He broke off, swallowing hard. “I thought, ‘So this is it.’ And then—”
James’ eyes went distant. “Then Regulus stepped out of the shadows. One curse. Avada. Didn’t even flinch.”
Sirius didn’t speak. He only watched, something unreadable in his gaze.
James laughed under his breath. It was a hollow sound.
“I looked at him, and he was so calm. Cold, even. Like it was just another Tuesday night for him. I asked him to come with me. Almost begged, actually. Told him we could protect him.”
He paused, a bitter smile tugging at the edge of his mouth.
“But he just shook his head. Said it was too late. And then he vanished. Just like that.”
The silence stretched, brittle and fragile.
James’ voice was softer now, more distant. “Next day, the Prophet ran his obituary.”
Sirius inhaled sharply through his nose. It wasn’t a full breath—more like something that caught halfway. “That’s why you left.”
James nodded, slowly.
“I think that’s when I knew that there was… something more. Something I’d been feeling for years without admitting it.” He gave a small, rueful smile. “I kept replaying everything I’d ever seen of him, even the stupid, throwaway moments. How he sat at the Slytherin table, the way he always seemed to be listening without looking at anyone. How he’d stand in the library with a book open but his eyes miles away.”
James shook his head, a rueful smile tugging at his mouth. “I told myself it was just because he was your brother. Because he was quiet. Mysterious. Complicated. That I was just… protective. Curious. Trying to figure him out for your sake. But that was bullshit. I think I always felt it. I just didn’t let myself name it.”
James’ eyes flicked up to Sirius briefly before dropping again.
“Do you remember that night after Slughorn’s party? Sixth year? He was standing alone outside the greenhouse. Snow falling. And I just… stood there inside, watching him through the glass. I don’t know how long. I remember thinking he looked lonely, but also, untouchable. Like no one could reach him."
James’ voice dropped again, something catching in it.
“I think I wanted to be the person who could reach him. Even back then.”
Sirius folded his arms but said nothing. James let the silence linger for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek, before continuing.
“I think part of me is ashamed it took me so long to say it—to myself, to him. Because now every moment I could have had feels like it’s already been stolen. And there’s a war on, Sirius. Nothing’s promised, and I’m standing here hoping for a future I might never see.”
His voice caught on that last word, and he quickly looked away, dragging a hand down his face as though to wipe the admission from his own skin.
“After we were dropped in Hogsmeade,” he said softly, “and Regulus showed up alive, like some bloody ghost I hadn’t finished grieving, I thought I was hallucinating. Or… finally losing my mind. I couldn’t stop watching him. Every time he moved, I felt like if I blinked, he’d vanish again.”
He shoved a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up in even wilder angles than usual.
“And it wasn’t some heroic saviour complex thing. It wasn’t pity, or guilt, or obligation. It was—” he stopped, frowning faintly, as if searching for the right word “—recognition. Like finding a song you’ve never heard before but somehow knowing every word.”
Sirius made a face. “That’s… nauseatingly poetic.”
James shot him a flat look. “Shut up. I’m having a moment.”
“Right, right,” Sirius said, gesturing for him to continue with all the false solemnity of a man at a funeral.
“He was different,” James went on, ignoring him. “Hard, sharp edges, but careful too. Like he’d learned to hide the best parts of himself for so long that now, when they slipped out, it was almost an accident. He was angry, sometimes downright ice-cold, but then he’d have these moments… soft ones. Honest ones. And every time he trusted me with something, some tiny piece of himself, it felt like being handed something fragile. Something no one else had ever been allowed to hold.”
A wistful smile tugged at his mouth, tinged with something that might have been sadness.
“I didn’t fall for him all at once. It was… slow. Creeping. The sort of thing you don’t even notice until it’s everywhere.”
He hesitated, then looked up at Sirius again.
“When the trial was announced, and the whole thing with your father happened, I remember sitting in the common room with this weight in my chest like someone had filled it with stones. I kept thinking—if I don’t say it now, I might never get the chance. So that night, I just… said it.”
Sirius raised his eyebrows. “You said it.”
James nodded. “Told him how I felt. That I didn’t want a moment—I wanted more. That I wanted him. And then things… escalated.”
A faint smirk tugged at Sirius’ mouth, but he didn’t comment. James’ expression grew serious again.`
“Padfoot, I’ve never felt so alive. Not on a broom, not when we won the Cup, not even when I kissed Lily for the first time. Regulus makes me feel… seen. Not for the Golden Boy crap, not for being Head Boy, or the perfect Gryffindor. Just—me.”
His voice grew quieter. “He challenges me. Makes me answer for things. Makes me question myself. And yeah, it’s uncomfortable. But it makes me better. I’m not performing with him. I’m not faking anything. It’s messy, but I’d choose him again. Every fucking time.”
He paused then. Let the words settle.
“I know he’s your brother,” James said finally. “And I know there’s history there I’ll never fully understand. But I love him, Sirius. And I think—” he gave a small, helpless shrug “—I think he loves me too. I’m not asking for permission. I just… needed you to know because you matter to me.”
Sirius studied him for a long moment, face unreadable. Then he exhaled, a rough sound like something old and knotted being let go.
“Prongs… he nearly decapitated a man for hurting you. I think ‘loves you’ is an understatement.”
James blinked, then laughed in surprise. “To be fair, he’s also threatened to stab me a few times. Keeps things interesting.”
“Oh my God,” Sirius groaned, wrinkling his nose like James had just offered him a vomit-flavoured Bertie Bott’s bean. “I am going to gag.”
James grinned, some of the tension loosening from his shoulders.
“You know…” Sirius’ voice softened slightly. “I spent years pretending I didn’t care what happened to him. But I still wondered—what if I’d been someone he could’ve followed instead? What if I’d said something, done something different?”
It was James' turn to stay quiet.
“I think he’s trying to be better,” Sirius said finally. “And if there’s anyone who can bring that out in him, it’s you. But—” his eyes narrowed “—if you hurt him, in any way, I will punch you. Best friend or not.”
James laughed. “Deal.”
Sirius gave him a crooked, reluctant smile. “You’re both idiots.”
“Certified,” James said solemnly.
They stood in silence for a moment before Sirius muttered, “Stabbing, though?”
James shrugged. “Not in a murderous way. More of a… gentle, persuasive threat. You know—romantic.”
“Unbelievable,” Sirius groaned.
“Like I said, it adds to the charm,” James grinned widely, eyes crinkling.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “God, I hate when you’re in love. You get all glowy and giddy. It’s disgusting.”
James only grinned harder, his voice smug and fond. “You’ll survive.”
Sirius muttered something about “highly debatable” but didn’t push further.
When they returned to the cave, two silhouettes were already visible in the murky half-light beyond the clearing.
Evan Rosier was standing perfectly straight, as if even exhaustion couldn’t bend him, his spine a steel rod. The angle of his shoulders was almost regal, but the rest of him was a picture of war’s aftermath. Blood streaked his face in a dried, rust-brown smear, starting from the deep gash that cut across his brow and breaking the otherwise symmetrical lines of his features. His robes were torn along the sides, one sleeve hanging loose and flapping with the wind like a banner of surrender he would never raise. The hem was soaked, stiff with old mud and something darker that no rain would wash out. Even battered, there was a strange ceremonial precision to the way he leaned against the wall, like a soldier awaiting judgment.
Barty crouched at his side, one knee pressed to the ground, a knife dancing through his fingers in an unbroken rhythm—up, turn, catch, repeat. The blade caught the low light with every spin. His nails were caked with dirt, his boots damp enough to squelch, and his left sleeve had been ripped entirely at the elbow, exposing skin patterned with bruises that bloomed across his forearm like ink dropped in water. His face was grimy, his hair windblown, but the corner of his mouth held the faintest shadow of a grin.
The sound of approaching footsteps cracked the stillness. Both men looked up, and their posture shifted, subtle but telling. The stillness of predators scenting the air.
“You look like shit,” Sirius said, stopping just shy of them. His tone was dry, but not entirely venomous. His arms folded tight across his chest. His gaze swept over Barty briefly, but lingered longer on Evan, as though cataloguing every injury. His mouth twitched before flattening again. “Both of you.”
Barty caught the knife mid-air without looking at it. Twirled it once between his fingers, the steel whispering against his knuckles
“Killed our way here,” he said simply. “Got the scars, bloodstains, and possible brain damage to prove it. Ten out of ten adventure. Highly recommend as couple therapy.”
James let out a short, tired huff. “Sounds about right.”
But Sirius wasn’t the only one noticing the shift in him, as Evan was already watching him curiously. James was standing differently now—shoulders drawn back, chest open, jaw set in a way that sharpened every angle of his face. Not defensive. Not hostile. Just… claiming space.
Possession.
Barty caught it too. His gaze flicked between James, Sirius, and then past them, narrowing like a wolf catching the scent of something hidden.
“Where’s Reg?” His voice had dropped. The mockery was gone.
James didn’t answer immediately. His stillness was deliberate. His eyes narrowed a fraction, and his fingers twitched once at his side. Then—
“What nickname did Slughorn give Regulus in fifth year that made him threaten to hex a teacup into the man’s mouth?”
Barty blinked once, then gave a short, unimpressed snort.
“Starlight. Because of the whole ‘Regulus is a star’ thing. Nearly put old Slughorn through a wall.”
James’ expression didn’t shift. His attention turned to Evan, voice quieter but edged with steel.
“And what did you say the day Sirius got detention for sneaking Dungbombs into our joint History of Magic exam?”
Evan arched a brow. “I said, ‘Detention’s the least of your worries, Black. One more explosion and Dumbledore might actually expel you.’”
A long pause followed. Then, finally, James nodded, once, slowly.
“He’s inside,” he said. “Sleeping, so keep your voice down, Crouch. If you wake him up, I’ll cut your tongue out myself.”
The words landed with a weight that pulled the air tighter. Sirius’ head turned sharply toward him, eyes widening slightly. James Potter, sunny, grinning James, had just issued a threat with perfect calm.
Barty blinked once. Then, slowly, a grin began to spread—not the smug kind he often wore, but something more intrigued.
“Well,” he drawled, sliding the knife into a sheath at his belt with a theatrical flourish, “look who’s finally grown some balls. The Gryffindor prince bares his claws.”
The lilt in his voice was playful, but the note under it was genuine surprise. He tilted his head toward James, then flicked his gaze to Sirius, eyes gleaming with sharp amusement.
“Cat’s out of the bag, then. I suppose congratulations are in order.”
Sirius’ eyes narrowed. “You knew.”
Barty gave an elaborate shrug, all faux innocence.
James rolled his eyes but didn’t deny it. He stepped past them toward the cave entrance, brushing Barty’s shoulder in a deliberate, unbothered way.
But Barty wasn’t done. He called after him, “Potter, if you’re going to threaten my tongue again, you’ll need to negotiate the terms with Evan. He’s awfully fond of it.”
Evan’s reply was immediate, and, without turning, he smacked the back of Barty’s head with the flat of his hand—precise, like dusting off a coat sleeve.
“Keep testing me and I’ll reconsider.”
“Oi—” Barty scowled, rubbing the spot, “Abuse. Betrayal. The only constants in this forest.”
James, already halfway into the cave, muttered under his breath some unintelligible prayers.
Sirius lingered a beat longer, watching the exchange. His eyes darted between Evan, stone-faced and collected, and Barty—utter chaos in a human shell. Something unreadable passed over his face, not quite disdain. Not quite approval either.
“How did you two survive this long without blowing each other up?” he asked, voice laced with skepticism.
“Oh, that we did. Repeatedly.” Barty beamed and ducked just as Evam was ready to hit him again.
“Mutual spite,” Evan replied, deadpan.
“Unresolved sexual tension,” Barty added, too cheerfully.
Sirius looked him over again, and for the briefest moment, something in his face flickered. A twitch at the edge of his mouth. A crack in the shield. Not a smile, but not a scowl either. Then he shook his head and muttered, “Fucking lunatics,” before turning and stepping into the cave.
Behind him, Barty turned to Evan and whispered, “He totally likes me now.”
Evan didn’t even flinch.
“Keep talking and he’ll leave your body in the next Acromantula nest we find.”
“I would call it flirting.”
Regulus stirred slowly, awareness dragging him back like mud clinging to his limbs. His head was pillowed on something soft—leather? James’ jacket. The scent gave it away before the texture did—sun-warmed wool underneath, faint traces of smoke and pine needles, and that indescribable note that was just James. He could still feel the heat lingering in the fabric, like the jacket had been wrapped around him for longer than necessary.
Then he heard it—laughter.
Wrong kind. Too sharp. Too familiar.
Barty.
His eyes snapped open, and voices filtered in from the mouth of the cave, followed by a distinct twang as someone flicked a blade into their palm.
Regulus didn’t bother with pleasantries. His boots crunched against the gravel as he surged upright, the echo ricocheting off the damp stone. His hair fell forward into his eyes as he stalked toward the mouth of the cave, his breath a controlled but uneven rhythm.
“Morning, princess—” Barty started, not even looking up. His grin was already there, carved into his face like a challenge.
The rest of the sentence never had a chance.
Regulus slammed him back against the wall hard enough for the stone to thud. His forearm pressed across Barty’s throat, pinning him with practiced efficiency. The dagger was already drawn, its cold edge pressing just beneath Barty’s jaw, close enough for the skin to give the smallest protest.
The cave went still.
Evan didn’t flinch. His exhale was long, patient, like this was a page from a book he’d read a hundred times. Without comment, he set his bag down beside a rock in a neat, deliberate motion.
“Told you to stop calling him that,” he muttered, his voice dry as dust and twice as cutting.
“Good to see you too, Reg.” Barty managed, his words tight against the pressure on his throat. The grin didn’t falter; if anything, it sharpened. “You look like hell.”
Regulus’ eyes narrowed to thin slits. “Crawled back so that I could stab you.”
“Awh,” Barty’s smile widened, even as the blade dipped infinitesimally closer. “Cute, but I think I’ll leave the stabbing to Potter this time. Salazar knows it’s your favourite foreplay.”
From somewhere behind them came a sharp, horrified groan.
“For the love of Circe,” Sirius muttered, dragging a hand down his face like he could physically scrub the words from his ears. “That is my little brother. I’m begging you to stop talking.”
Barty turned his head slightly, the movement constrained by the iron bar of Regulus’ arm.
“You’re late to the party, Black. They’re disgusting. You should be grateful you’re not bunking near their side of the tower.”
The knife didn’t move. Regulus’ voice dropped, low and dangerous. “If you’re actually Barty—”
Barty’s grin twisted, more genuine this time. “Relax, darling. Your boyfriend already pop-quizzed us outside. We passed with flying colours, thank you very much.”
There was a tense beat of silence before Regulus finally stepped back. The blade left a faint line of red at Barty’s neck, not deep, but precise.
Barty exhaled, rubbing his throat as though the gesture was indulgent. “That’s the Regulus we all know and fear. Welcome back, sunshine.”
“I was sleeping, Barty,” Regulus snapped, voice still low but tightly wound. “Try staying alive without making noise for once.”
“Can’t help that I’m dazzling,” Barty said cheerfully, examining his fingers like he’d just been complimented.
Regulus rolled his eyes and turned away, clearly done with him.
Sirius had been watching the entire exchange with the expression of a man witnessing a particularly deranged stage play. His voice was pitched low as he leaned toward Remus. “I think I preferred it when we weren’t speaking. At least then I didn’t have to hear whatever this is.”
Evan huffed something that might have been a laugh as he handed Sirius a flask of water. “You’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t want to,” Sirius muttered before taking a swig. “I really, really don’t want to.”
Barty, from the other side of the cave, called brightly, “Don’t worry, Black. I bet you’ll miss me when I’m dead.”
Evan didn’t even look up from sorting through his pack. “Highly doubtful.”
Regulus crouched beside the low fire pit, its embers snapping softly in the damp air. His fingers drifted over the jacket James had tucked beneath his head earlier—still faintly warm, still smelling of that maddeningly familiar note that clung to James no matter how many nights they spent in this gods-forsaken forest.
“Where the hell have you been?”
Evan sat nearby, one long leg stretched out, the other bent just enough for him to rest an elbow on his knee. He tilted his head back, yawning with slow indifference. “Swamps.”
“We took the long way,” Barty added, already spinning his knife lazily between his fingers. He leaned back on one hand, a grin spreading like ink in water. “Guess who crossed our path?”
Regulus’ brow arched. “I’m not in the mood for games.”
“Snape,” Barty said, drawing the name out, tasting it like it was some rare delicacy. “And Avery. No Mulciber, sadly. But Avery looked like he’d been dragged backwards through hell, gift-wrapped, and then left in the rain.”
Regulus huffed through his nose. “Had a date with the Dryads. The fucker was stupid enough to piss them off.”
Barty laughed, short and humorless. “Surprised he’s still breathing, then.”
“Barely,” Evan muttered, flicking a charred twig into the fire. “I think Severus took him out. Avery was walking strangely. Like something inside him got torn out and the rest was just… catching up.”
Regulus’ gaze stayed locked on the flames, their orange light painting his face in uneven shadows. “The forest doesn’t play well with the self-righteous.”
“We lost their trail in a patch of mist,” Barty continued, stretching his arms overhead with a sharp crack of his spine. “The kind that messes with your hearing. Thought I heard you calling me at one point—turned out to be a tree.”
“Your brain isn’t exactly hard to trick,” Sirius said from where he was perched on a flat stone, inspecting the edge of his own blade with the focus of a man picturing exactly whose throat it might meet next.
“Jealousy is so unflattering on you,” Barty sniffed, twirling the knife again with an almost theatrical flourish. “Anyway, before we reached the cave, we spotted signs of a camp just off Blackroot Hollow. Sloppy work.”
James, crouched on the other side of the fire, stopped stirring it. “The girls?”
Evan shook his head, deliberate and certain. “No. They’re smarter than that. Whoever it was didn’t know the forest. Set up too close to a bog edge, left burnt food behind. Amateurs.”
“Definitely one of them,” Barty said, leaning forward as if he were delivering gossip over drinks instead of a death tally. “Mulciber, maybe. There was a dead frog impaled on a twig. A charming touch. Truly says ‘I’m unhinged’ without the need for further conversation.”
Regulus’ fingers tapped against his knee, rhythm steady, calculating. “They’re not far. Sloppy camping means desperation. Desperation means mistakes.”
“Any sign of the girls?” Remus asked, voice low but intent from where he hovered just behind Sirius.
Evan shook his head again. “Nothing. No cloth scraps. No boot prints we didn’t recognize. No burn marks on the trees. They know how to move when they don’t want to be found.”
Remus’ shoulders slumped slightly.
“They’ll surface,” Evan said, softer now. “They’re sharper than most of us. Sharper than we are on a good day.”
“They’d better be,” Sirius muttered, sheathing his knife with a quiet click. “Are we going after them? Mulciber and his lot, I mean?”
Regulus finally looked up, meeting Sirius’ gaze with something cold, clear, and utterly unflinching. “Not yet. We need food and sleep. Hunting while exhausted is just another way to die stupid.”
James nodded. “We hold until dawn, then.”
Barty drove his knife into the dirt beside him, point first. “Fine by me. I’d like to say hello to Avery properly. Been a while since I carved anyone who screams so beautifully.”
Sirius groaned, dragging a hand over his face. “I swear to Merlin—”
“Don’t worry, Black,” Evan cut in, tone dry as bone, “we’ll spare your delicate Gryffindor ears.”
Regulus rose, brushing the dirt from his trousers with a precise, deliberate motion. “If you see Mulciber, don’t play with him. Kill him directly.”
No one argued.
The fire crackled between them, and James pushed a few more sticks in it, watching the sparks dance up into the dark ceiling of the cave like dying fireflies. The flames flickered against the rough stone, casting long, twitching shadows along the walls.
With a long, slow breath, he shifted, rolling onto his back. The packed dirt was cold against his shoulder blades, but the bite of it grounded him—reminded him there was still something solid beneath all the chaos. He stared up at the uneven rock above, tracking how the light licked across it, flicker by flicker.
When he finally turned his head, Regulus was where he always seemed to be—at the far wall, knees drawn up, arms folded, that single line carved between his brows. The kind of crease that came from thinking too much and sleeping too little.
James offered the gentlest, most innocent smile in his arsenal. Then he patted the patch of earth beside him with a look that was part invitation, part surrender, part please stop looking like that before I lose my mind.
Regulus didn’t move. He just raised a single, unimpressed eyebrow.
James squinted back in mock offense. Then, slowly, theatrically, he mimed zipping his mouth shut and tossing the imaginary key into the fire.
No reaction.
Undeterred, James clasped his hands over his chest, saint-like, eyes wide with exaggerated piety. See? the expression said. I can behave. I’m a temple of restraint.
Regulus exhaled loudly, the sound managing to be both annoyed and, just barely, betrayed by something warmer. He muttered something that James was almost certain included the words idiot and pathetic, then rose with the put-upon grace of a man well aware he was losing a battle he had never actually intended to win.
His joints cracked as he crossed the space. Cuts pulled, bruises stretched, the slow ache of field-worn muscles catching up to him, but still he sat down. The second his weight touched the ground, James’ arm looped around him like it had been waiting there all night.
Regulus didn’t resist. He let himself lean in, his head settling against James’ chest. Beneath his ear, the steady, stubborn beat of James’ heart anchored him in a way he hated needing. A warm hand moved in slow, steady circles between his shoulder blades, a rhythm that said stay here, you’re fine, I’ve got you without a single word. And James still smelled like pine bark and wind-whipped Quidditch pitches, like sun-warmed leather and a hope too ridiculous to kill.
The fire crackled.
From the far side of the cave, Barty cleared his throat with all the subtlety of a howler, the sound making Regulus roll his eyes so hard, he nearly saw the back of his head.
“You know,” he said, voice syrupy with false indignation, “I nearly got skewered about a dozen times just to keep you two alive long enough to finally snog. Not that I expect thanks, mind you, since Potter got his tongue halfway down your ear—”
“Crouch.” Regulus’ voice was glacial. He didn’t lift his head. “If I hear one more sound from your corner, I will throw you out of this cave.”
Barty stared like someone who had just been personally betrayed by the laws of hospitality.
“Me?” He pressed a hand to his chest. “Me? I haven’t said a bloody thing other than the truth! You’re the one moaning like a—OW! Evan, will you—?!”
“Stop being an obnoxious ass,” Evan said mildly, his tone more suited to commenting on the weather than assaulting his boyfriend. “And maybe I’ll stop hitting you.”
“You say that like it’s not our love language,” Barty muttered, rubbing the spot and glaring at him.
Evan didn’t even blink. “You’re confusing violence with tolerance. Again.”
At that, Sirius groaned loudly, rolling onto his side and throwing a hand over his face. “GOOD NIGHT!” he shouted to the stone ceiling; his voice tinged with the exhaustion of a man two seconds from snapping. “Merlin’s hairy bollocks, some of us are trying to sleep in this godforsaken hellhole! Moony, for the love of god, please say something!”
“I bet Lupin never makes you shout like that,” Barty whispered too loudly.
“Barty,” Evan warned, already lifting his hand again.
“OKAY—OKAY—I’M QUIET, I’M QUIET!” Barty yelped, ducking away from the inevitable smack.
A low laugh rumbled through James’ chest, the sound curling against Regulus’ ear. He felt it, warm and unsteady, and despite himself, he shivered. James bent his head, pressing a kiss into his hair—soft, grounding, like a promise written in a language only they understood.
Regulus closed his eyes.
Outside, the world was still bloodied. Still broken. There were monsters waiting in the woods and friends they hadn’t found yet. The war hadn’t ended. Nothing had been solved.
But here—in this cave, under the weight of stone and firelight, in the stubborn kind of love you only forged through surviving the same horrors—there was a fragile peace. A moment they’d probably never believe they deserved.
But one they held onto anyway.
Notes:
I know Sirius is usually written having a full-blown aneurysm when he finds out about James and his brother, but I wanted him to be more… aware. Like, ‘if I'm not going to acknowledge it, maybe it’ll dissolve into the void.’
Chapter 20: Apex Predator
Summary:
TW: Violent death (No main characters were harmed in the making of this chapter)
Notes:
Public Memory- Ringleader
Otep- Apex Predator
Chapter Text
Regulus could tell he was the only one awake.
The fire had burned down to a dim, pulsing glow, embers breathing in the dark, soft and fading. The cave had settled into that late-hour stillness that felt almost sacred, broken only by the quiet shifts of sleeping bodies and the occasional distant sounds of the forest beyond. Everyone else had surrendered to exhaustion. Even Barty’s restless twitching had stilled into something almost peaceful. Even Sirius, always muttering in his sleep or grinding his teeth, had gone silent.
But Regulus lay curled against James’ chest, very much awake.
He could feel the slow rise and fall of him, steady beneath the layers of filth and exhaustion they carried from the day. James’ cheek was resting against the crown of his head, his breath drifting warm and unhurried across Regulus’ temple. One arm was looped across Regulus’ waist—loose, unthinking, but constant, as though some unconscious part of him refused to let go.
It should have been uncomfortable, lying on hard stone, bodies pressed together under the stink of dried sweat and blood and mud. But it wasn’t.
James was warm. Steady.
And that, more than the monsters in the trees, more than the Dark Lord’s trials, was what terrified him.
He tried not to overthink it, but that was never something Regulus was good at. His mind moved like something alive in the dark, uncoiling thought after thought, no matter how tightly he tried to wind them up.
He told himself to focus on the practical. Supplies were low. The forest had grown hungrier. If they wanted to survive the next days, they’d have to kill. Voldemort hadn’t built this trial for mercy; it was designed to strip you bare until you broke, or until you became something sharp enough to cut for him.
If they didn’t make that choice soon, the forest would make it for them. It had already almost taken him. And Sirius.
That should have been what held his attention. That should have been the only thing.
But James’ breath was on his neck. And his traitor mind drifted, slow and stubborn, back to him.
James bloody Potter.
Regulus had known admiration before. He’d known fear, fascination, and obsession. All the ways you could orbit someone without ever crossing the distance to touch them. He’d grown up surrounded by people who weren’t people at all; they were reputations, alliances, weapons to be wielded or avoided. He learned early how to read someone’s worth the way you read a blade—by balance, by edge.
But this… this was different. It had crept in slowly, like water through cracks in stone. Quiet. Patient.
He didn’t know when it had started. Didn’t know the moment James went from being a name he was meant to resent to being the pulse he kept finding in the quiet.
What he did know was this: Regulus Black didn’t do love.
He was not built for it. He was not taught it.
In the House of Black, love came sharpened and poisoned. His mother had loved his father the way a sickness loves its host—clinging, suffocating, consuming until there’s nothing left to feed on. Affection, if it appeared at all, was a calculated thing. A cold glance meant to keep you in line. A cruel word meant to make you try harder. Devotion was a knife you learned to press to your own throat before anyone else could.
They had never taught him how to be held without bracing for the pain that followed.
They had never loved him. Not really. Not in the way love was supposed to be something that healed. He’d grown up learning how to protect a name, not a heart. How to uphold a legacy, not a soul.
Sirius had escaped it. He’d fled toward warmth, found something better, something real. Regulus had stayed. Stayed because someone had to keep the walls from crumbling. Stayed because he thought, stupidly, he could fix it from the inside. Stayed because—if he was perfect enough, obedient enough, indispensable enough—maybe one day someone would look at him and say the words he’d spent his life starving for: you’re worth loving.
No one ever did.
Not until now.
Not until James—James with his easy steadiness and infuriating hope. James, who didn’t flinch from him. James, who held him like it was the most natural thing in the world, not a calculated choice but a simple truth. James, who made the ache behind Regulus’ ribs feel like both a wound and a cure.
Regulus blinked hard, as if the ache could be forced away by sheer will, but the harder he pushed, the deeper it burrowed, pulsing in rhythm with his heartbeat. His eyes burned, and before the thought could catch hold, he pressed his forehead into the hollow of James’ collarbone. It was instinct, almost shameful in its need. The warmth there was real. Solid. The kind that didn’t ask for permission.
James’ thumb had started moving again—just faint, absent-minded circles against his side. Even in sleep.
It was infuriating. It was devastating. It was like James could feel the spiral starting in his chest and was pulling him back from the edge without even knowing why.
Regulus didn’t deserve this. He didn’t know how to hold it, how to keep it from slipping between his fingers.
Because how could someone who had never been loved possibly know how to love in return?
Was it in the way his gaze found James’ without thought, like a needle drawn to a magnetic pull he couldn’t fight? Was it in the sharp, tight coil in his chest every time he saw blood on James’ skin—no matter how small the cut, no matter that it wasn’t his? Was it in the way his voice dropped, softening without permission, only when speaking to him?
Maybe it was in the constant, gnawing fear that this could be taken away. That one morning, he’d wake and find the fire gone, the space beside him cold, and realize none of it had been real.
Or maybe it was simpler than all of that. Maybe love was just letting someone look directly at the ruin inside you, every cracked stone, every place the light didn’t reach, and not trying to sweep the rubble away. Just saying: Here it is. Here I am. And if you still want me, God help you.
And James… James hadn’t flinched.
He’d looked straight at the broken pieces of Regulus Black and stayed.
Regulus curled closer without thinking, pulled forward by something that felt both involuntary and inevitable. James stirred, a quiet hum in his throat that vibrated through his ribs, but he didn’t wake. His arm only tightened fractionally, as if some part of him, maybe the truest part, was built to hold on when others would let go.
The sound rising in Regulus’ chest was dangerous, hovering in that fragile space between a sigh and a sob. He bit it down, forcing it back, because once it left his body, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to take it back.
He made himself a vow then, the kind that felt like blood binding: he would protect this. He would protect him. Whatever it costs. Even if he had to carve himself hollow, strip away every last recognizable piece, and leave only something monstrous in his place.
Because James Potter was not just someone he’d grown to care for.
James Potter was the first thing in his life that he had ever truly wanted.
And in this hellscape of blood and darkness—this place where children carried knives and men wore masks that turned them into nightmares—wanting something was the most dangerous sin of all.
He knew how fast it could vanish. He’d lived too long in the Dark Lord’s shadow not to. Survival was a loan you could never repay, one that could be revoked mid-breath. And tonight, when James had stood with a wand pressed to his throat, his life poised on the sharp edge of someone else’s choice, Regulus had felt the ground dropping out from beneath him, the air torn from his lungs.
The magic had come unbidden, a storm that cracked through his bones—raw, vicious, unstoppable. Before the thought had even formed, before the fear had settled, someone was dead at his feet. Not a threat. Not a moving target. Just gone.
The kill had been quick. Silent. Precise. He didn’t regret it—not for a heartbeat.
Because if James died, Regulus would scorch the forest down to bare ash. He would salt the earth until nothing dared grow there again. He would carve the world hollow if it meant keeping what was his.
Because James was his.
He was just beginning to drift toward that fragile edge of sleep again, curled into the steady anchor of James’ chest, his fingers hooked into the edge of his jacket like a child clutching at the last safe thing in the world—when the sound cut through the quiet like steel through bone.
“PETER!”
The name cracked through the cave like lightning.
Regulus snapped upright, his heart slamming against his ribs so hard it hurt. Instinct moved before thought could catch up.
Somewhere nearby, a flask clattered to the stone. Someone swore under their breath.
“Is that…” Sirius’ voice broke the silence, rough with disbelief, “Emmeline?”
Remus was already moving, his steps light but sharp, his head tilted like a hound catching a scent. He breathed in slow, deep, and whispered, “Yes.”
The voice came again, louder this time—ragged, desperate. “PETER?”
Regulus’ blood went cold. “Fuck,” he hissed, already reaching for his dagger. “She needs to shut up before she draws every fucking thing in this forest.”
Sirius didn’t hesitate. He bolted toward the entrance.
“Sirius, no!” Regulus was after him in an instant, the panic a live wire in his voice. “Sirius, wait—”
But Sirius was already out.
The cold night hit them like a slap. The forest stretched out in front of them, still and suffocating, the air unnervingly silent. No wind. No rustle of leaves. The shadows between the trees ran too deep, like the whole wood was holding its breath, waiting.
And then, through the darkness, Emmeline Vance came stumbling out of the brush.
She didn’t look like a person who’d simply run too far, but rather like something the forest had already begun to eat alive. Her hair was a matted snarl, plastered to her head with mud and dark, drying blood. Her robes hung in jagged ribbons, one sleeve dangling from the seam by a single stubborn thread. Her right arm was clutched tight against her body, the elbow bent at an impossible angle, bone pressing against skin in a way that made Regulus’ stomach lurch.
Her face—Merlin, her face—was raw with terror. Not the crisp, calculated fear of battle, but the kind that scalded through every nerve, the kind that didn’t leave room for thought. Dirt streaked her cheeks. Blood dried at the corner of her mouth. There was something else smeared across her jawline—thick, black, and glistening.
She didn’t see them. Not at first. She was looking over her shoulder, eyes stretched wide in the dark, still calling, voice hoarse and breaking apart:
“Peter—!” she sobbed, choking on the word. “Peter, PLEASE! I—I don’t know where you are!”
Sirius raised his hand instinctively, a silent wave. Regulus’ reaction was sharper, more urgent. He grabbed Sirius by the shoulder, fingers digging in.
“Don’t shout. Don’t make a sound.”
Finally, Emmeline’s gaze snapped forward, locking on them. Recognition broke over her face like sunrise after a month of storms—relief so pure it hurt to see.
“SIRIUS!” she cried, joy detonating through the terror in her voice. “OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT—”
The rest never came.
The canopy above shuddered. Something massive dropped from the dark with impossible speed—a shadow slick with oil, all legs and angles, the air breaking with a wet, cracking thud as it landed.
The Acromantula hit her before either of them had time to think.
There was no scream. Just the sound of the impact. A barbed, gleaming limb punched clean through her back, bursting from her chest with a sharp, splintering crack that sounded like a tree being split. Another leg swept sideways with slicing precision, cleaving through her hip as though her body was no more than parchment.
She just jerked, a violent, sudden convulsion—
And then she was torn in half.
Her torso folded forward, eyes wide, mouth frozen mid-word. Her hands twitched once before going slack. She hit the ground with a heavy, obscene thud, the sound wet enough to make bile rise in Regulus’ throat.
Sirius staggered backward. His lips moved, but nothing came out. His eyes were huge, glassy, unblinking.
The Acromantula loomed over what was left—its carapace glistening in the meager light, fangs dripping with venom, limbs twitching with obscene anticipation. It let out a clicking shriek that echoed off the trees, seized her lower half like a doll, and vanished in a blur of black into the canopy.
It was over in less than three breaths.
Only scraps of her robes drifted down to the forest floor, settling soundlessly among the leaves.
Regulus’ mouth was dry. His fingers moved before his brain caught up, snatching Sirius’ hand, tugging hard, pulling him back, back toward the cave.
“NO—NO—NO—” Sirius’ voice tore loose suddenly, raw and high, breaking like glass. He staggered forward instead, nearly tripping over the tangle of vines underfoot, catching himself on the jagged rock wall.
“Reggie—we have to—we have to go after her!” His voice cracked on have, wild and desperate. “We can’t just leave her out there—”
Regulus caught his arm, grip iron-hard. His own breath came in fast, shallow bursts, each one scraping his throat raw. His knuckles were white against Sirius’ sleeve.
“Sirius. Look at me.” His voice was steady only because he forced it to be. “We need to move. Now. Before it comes back. Before more of them come.”
“No—” Sirius shook his head hard enough to fling droplets of sweat from his hair. “No, we can’t—we can’t leave her!” His voice spiked high, trembling. “She was right there, Reggie—she looked at me—she said my name!”
He tried to wrench free, but Regulus only gripped tighter.
“Sirius,” Regulus bit out, sharp and low, “she is dead.”
The words landed like a blow. Sirius’ whole body flinched, breath punching from his lungs.
“You don’t know that!” he snapped, voice shattering into something brittle and too loud. “You don’t know! You saw her—she was running, she was talking, she looked at me—she—” His voice crumpled. “She said my name.”
He twisted again, dragging Regulus half a step before his boot caught on a root. He slammed into the wall with a hollow thud, stumbled, and still tried to lunge forward—half crawling now, palms scraping rock.
“She’s alive,” he whispered, not to Regulus, not to anyone—just into the space in front of him. “She has to be. We didn’t see right—we didn’t see right—”
The words spilled faster, tumbling over themselves, losing shape. His breathing grew ragged, too quick, like his body was trying to outrun the truth. “She was just here. She said my name. She—she was just here—”
Regulus stood frozen, his own throat burning, unsure if speaking would make it better or worse. He’d seen death. Too much of it. He’d seen bodies split open by curses, blood pooling warm on marble floors, the light draining from eyes he’d once known. But this—this wasn’t the same.
This was older. Cruder. A kind of death that belonged to the earth, not to men.
One breath, Emmeline had been alive.
The next—there was nothing.
And no part of the human mind was built to understand how quickly the world could take someone away.
A shape moved in his periphery, and then Remus was there—silent, expression unreadable. One look at Regulus and he understood what happened. He crouched behind Sirius and, without asking, wrapped both arms around him. Not gentle. Firm. Like hauling someone back from the edge of a cliff.
Sirius didn’t fight. He didn’t struggle. He didn’t even seem to notice.
He didn’t cry either. No sound came from him at all, just a blank stillness that was somehow worse.
He just let Remus pull him up, piece by piece, until he was standing. Until they were both moving, slow and uneven, back toward the cave.
“Moony…” Sirius murmured finally, the name tumbling out in pieces. His voice was soft, broken, like he’d forgotten how to form words. “She… she was there…”
“I know,” Remus answered. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it carried like torn paper in the silence. “I know.”
“I’ll take him,” Remus said quietly to Regulus, voice raw.
Regulus nodded once. His stomach twisted.
He stayed where he was, just inside the cave mouth, his shoulder pressed to the stone as if it could hold him up. His knuckles dug into the rock, white and rigid. He tried to breathe, but every inhale felt like the air had weight.
The forest outside was silent. Not empty—silent.
And then he saw it.
Through a break in the underbrush, half-hidden beneath fallen leaves, lay a face. Pale. Still. One side obscured by shadow. The other revealed in cruel clarity.
Emmeline’s eyes, glassy, wide, pinned directly toward him, stared without seeing. Her pupils reflected the smallest glint of moonlight. The kind of stillness that only came after breath had left forever.
Regulus didn’t look away. He forced himself to hold her gaze. To see her. To memorize her as she was in that instant.
Someone had to remember.
Someone had to know exactly how fast it could all vanish. How close death had come. How little it cared for the living.
How breakable they all were.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words catching in the cold air and falling unheard.
Then he turned and walked back into the dark. His eyes adjusted slowly to the gloom, and he could see Sirius hunched by the far wall, knees drawn tight to his chest, shoulders trembling with a rhythm too chaotic to be crying. He was rocking, back and forth, back and forth, murmuring Emmeline’s name as if he stopped saying it, she would vanish from memory as violently as she had from the clearing.
James sat beside him, motionless. One arm lay across Sirius’ back, not gripping, just there—anchoring him in the smallest way possible. His gaze, though, was fixed on Regulus.
He met his eyes and gave him a small shake of the head.
Gone.
James looked away again, his mouth pressed into a thin, colourless line. He didn’t speak. He didn’t need to.
Across the firepit, Evan stood with his arms folded, face locked into the detached focus of someone taking inventory of damage. His eyes flicked toward Regulus when he stepped closer.
“I’ll grab everything,” Evan said, his voice rough but level. “Are we moving further into the caves?”
Regulus dragged his hand down his face, feeling the tremor in his own muscles. He didn’t even try to hide it anymore.
“There’s no tunnel,” he said finally. “I checked the day we got here. Just solid rock. If we want to move, we’ll have to find another entrance. Maybe a connected chamber further north.”
He didn’t mention that going further north meant deeper into the forest’s gut. No one needed that right now.
Evan gave a single nod and turned away without another word.
Movement caught Regulus’ attention again. This time it was Barty.
He slipped past with an easy grace that didn’t match the tension in his shoulders, a deliberate kind of stillness, like a predator hiding in plain sight. He didn’t take a weapon. Didn’t say anything. Just headed for the cave entrance.
“Where are you going?” Regulus demanded, spinning toward him. His heartbeat kicked up hard. “Barty—what the hell are you—”
Barty didn’t stop walking. His eyes flicked to Sirius, hunched and rocking, then back to Regulus.
“I’m going to clean.”
The words landed heavy, without inflection.
Regulus’ body moved before his mind caught up. He stepped into Barty’s path, blocking the way. His hands shook, just slightly, but his stance didn’t waver.
“Don’t be an idiot,” he said sharply. “Not now.”
Barty didn’t shove him aside. He just reached out, fingers curling into Regulus’ shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to pin him there.
For a long second, they stared at each other.
Barty’s expression was stripped bare. No smirk. No theatrical gleam. None of the armor he usually wore like second skin. Just eyes worn thin with something heavier than anger.
“I know, Reggie,” he said at last, voice quiet enough to almost be lost under the faint crackle of the fire. “I know what I’m doing.”
It didn’t sound like defiance. It didn’t even sound like reassurance. It sounded like the truth, flat and exhausted. And threaded beneath it, something else. Something like grief wound too tightly to breathe.
“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” Barty said, softer now, and the gentleness almost undid him. “Okay?”
Regulus opened his mouth to argue, but before the words could form, Barty was gone.
Emmeline’s remains weren’t hard to find.
What was left of her lay where the Acromantula had decided she wasn’t worth the effort to finish—half-buried in vines, discarded with the thoughtless violence of something that didn’t understand the concept of cruelty, only hunger.
Her face was turned toward him, caught in a perfect, hideous clarity that made something in his chest twist and catch. Her eyes were glassy, lips slack, as if the last thing she’d seen had burned itself into her even after death.
Barty crouched beside her, not in reverence, not in disregard either. Just a soldier’s stillness. Detached. Efficient. The kind of posture that came from doing this too many times before, from cleaning up what monsters left behind when no one else could bear to.
He reached forward and, with two fingers, closed her eyes. The gesture was gentle, almost startling against the rest of the moment.
Then he began the work.
He didn’t let himself think about the girl who had rolled her eyes at his theatrics, who always carried that ridiculous flask of peppermint tonic. He just worked.
Death leaves first—thick, waxy, pungent enough to smother the worst of the scent. Small branches next. Enough to break the shape of her, to keep the shadows from noticing there was meat here.
A small fire followed. Controlled. Quick. Leaving a body in these woods meant leaving bait. They didn’t need bait.
It didn’t take long for the first click to echo through the trees.
His head snapped up. The sound didn’t belong to the fire. It belonged to the trees.
A second click. Louder. Closer.
The hair on his arms rose, each follicle prickling like static.
Barty straightened, every muscle in his body going taut like a drawn wire. The familiar hum of adrenaline began pulsing behind his ears. It was coming. It had caught the scent. The first time had been a kill. This time, it was hunting.
The sound was unmistakable. Clicks like bones being chewed and broken in the dark. Wet. Rhythmic. Getting faster.
He stepped back. Then another.
The rustling followed—not above this time, but from all directions. Leaves trembled where there was no wind. The shadows seemed to breathe.
He turned and moved fast, faster than stealth could allow, bursting into the cave without grace, breath ragged and hot in his throat.
“Pack your shit,” he snapped, the words cracking through the air like a whip. His voice was too loud, too sharp, shaking with a tension that felt like it could shatter bones. “Now. We’re leaving.”
“What happened?” James asked, stepping forward.
“It’s back.” Barty didn’t look at him. His eyes were locked on the entrance. “Whatever killed Emmeline? It’s hunting again.”
For a moment, no one moved. The silence swelled. Then—chaos.
Hands snatched up bags. Weapons were checked. The scrape of boots and clatter of metal filled the space.
They spilled out of the cave in a rush. Regulus was at the front—and then he froze. His arm shot out like iron and caught James hard, nails biting through cloth and into skin.
Click.
It echoed through the dark, soft at first, almost… curious. Like something tasting the air.
Another click. Sharper.
But then it began to swell. Sharper. Faster. A staccato rhythm building into something alive. It wasn’t just sound anymore. It was crawling. It wrapped around their spines and pressed under their skin, each click a needle dragging down the length of their nerves.
Regulus went still.
His lungs forgot how to work. His heart stuttered, then roared back to life, thundering against his ribs.
“Don’t run,” he said, but it wasn’t really his voice—it had been stripped down to bare metal, honed to a single edge. “It tracks by vibration.”
He dragged in a slow, steady inhale through his nose, forcing the air to smooth the panic out of his chest.
“Stay. Still.”
“Reggie…” Remus’ whisper cracked like dry wood. His eyes were locked on the treeline ahead, pupils blown wide, chest rising in shallow bursts.
“Slowly,” Regulus murmured. “One step at a time.”
Someone’s boot snapped a thick branch beneath, and the effect was immediate as the forest erupted.
From the black canopy above, something dropped. Massive. Fast. A thunderclap of chitin and legs and hunger.
The Acromantula hit the ground with the weight of a meteor, its impact sending up a blast of damp leaves and soil. The earth shuddered. The thing was enormous—its black carapace shone wetly in the moonlight, slick and twitching. Its legs, long as spears, stabbed into the dirt with surgical precision.
Its mandibles clicked open and shut, wet and deliberate, like flesh being pulled apart one fiber at a time.
Barty made a strangled noise in his throat, the beginning of a curse he never finished.
Regulus didn’t think—he moved. One second, James was beside him. Next, he was shoving him hard, just as one monstrous leg slammed into the space where James had been. The ground cracked beneath the force.
James hit the underbrush with a muffled grunt.
Regulus was already pivoting, his hand flying to his thigh, drawing the curved dagger in a motion so fluid it didn’t feel like his own.
“Eyes!” he hissed to Barty, every scrap of remembered lore firing through his mind. “Go for the eyes!”
The Acromantula shrieked, a high, piercing wail that split the night, then lunged again.
Regulus barely dodged, feeling the gust of air from its strike as it tore through the space where his head had been. His muscles burned as he twisted, slashing upward, and the blade connected with a wet crunch. Black ichor sprayed, hot and foul, and the beast shrieked, a high, keening wail that made my ears ring.
Barty moved like lightning, darting in low and slashing at a joint. The leg buckled. The spider staggered, hissing, its weight shifting erratically as more ichor bled from the wound.
“RUN!” Regulus roared.
Evan had to physically grab James, who was frozen in place, while Remus all but hauled Sirius toward the edge of the forest.
Their heavy footfalls pounded through the underbrush, a thunderous rhythm against the night—louder than it should’ve been, louder than felt safe. Every step sounded like a signal flare, and sure enough, the Acromantula’s grotesque head snapped in their direction, all eight of its gleaming black eyes locking onto them with a hunger so primal it made Regulus’ blood run cold.
It gave chase.
The trees groaned as it surged forward, tearing through the forest like a juggernaut. Its massive legs splintered branches like kindling, its claws gouging deep furrows into the earth. The underbrush screamed beneath its weight. Leaves exploded into the air as its bulk moved with horrifying speed.
Regulus cursed under his breath and ran after it, Barty closely behind, weaving through the roots and brambles like a shadow. The Acromantula was faster than it had any right to be, gaining ground with each monstrous stride.
And then Sirius stumbled.
It happened too fast. A root caught his boot, and he fell hard, sprawling in a heap just as the spider reared over him, fangs dripping, clicking in eager anticipation.
“NO!” Regulus roared.
He launched himself forward with no hesitation, his dagger already out, glinting in the dim light. He threw his weight behind the blade and plunged it into the closest leg joint. The dagger punched through the hard shell with a wet crack, and the Acromantula shrieked—an ungodly, high-pitched screech, its massive body convulsing, and this time when it struck, it missed his brother by inches.
The ground trembled under the force of its rage.
He yanked the blade free and slashed again, faster, more vicious this time, hacking at the leg until it buckled. chor splattered his chest, thick as tar and burning hot. The creature reeled back, one leg buckling beneath it, twitching violently.
"Get up!" Regulus barked at Sirius, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "Get up and run toward the riverbank!"
Somewhere in his panic-fogged brain, the command registered, and he scrambled to his feet, limping as he fled in the direction he’d pointed. Regulus didn’t wait to see if he made it. He turned and bolted in the opposite direction, knowing the creature would give chase, drawn by the loudest sound.
“Barty!” Regulus cried, “I need you to go to the river.”
“I’m not leaving you alone!” Barty snarled, ducking as a fang whipped past his head.
“There might be more coming! Evan can’t hold them off!” Regulus’ voice cracked sharp as glass. “GO! I’ve got this!”
And that was the thing about Regulus Black—he never said he had things under control unless he meant it. Never sugarcoated, never lied to reassure. If he said he had it, he bloody had it.
Barty’s jaw clenched. He hesitated for only a second. Then he spun and ran, cutting a sharp angle through the trees, vanishing into the gloom.
The Acromantula turned back to Regulus.
Regulus’ lungs burned, every muscle in his body screaming as he pushed himself harder, faster, threading through the labyrinth of trunks and roots with the Acromantula’s screech echoing behind him.
He burst through the trees into a shallow clearing and skidded to a halt. Spinning on his heel, he faced the Acromantula as it barrelled through the treeline. It emerged, wounded but relentless, ichor dripping from its mangled leg, rage oozing from every movement.
His chest heaved, sweat and blood mingling on his skin, but his grip on the dagger was steady as steel. He bared her teeth in something that was not quite a smile.
"Come on then," he rasped, voice hoarse but defiant. "Let’s end this."
The Acromantula lunged.
It came at him like a landslide, fangs gleaming like scimitars, claws tearing trenches in the dirt. Regulus pivoted hard, his boots sliding across moss-slick stone. One fang nearly grazed his shoulder as he twisted and ducked, forcing himself in close, right beneath its belly.
The spider shrieked again—deafening, furious—and he drove his blade upward, straight into the soft under-joint beneath its armored thorax. The blade punched deep. Hot ichor gushed over his hand, burning his skin, and the beast convulsed violently above him.
He rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding a crushing leg as it slammed down. Dirt and blood rained down. His body ached, but he forced himself up, adrenaline numbing everything but the rhythm of survival.
Its eyes locked on him—all eight, glittering and full of malice.
“Come on, you ugly bastard," he spat, raising his blade again. "I’m not done with you yet."
It struck lower this time, learning, aiming to crush instead of impale. A leg swept toward him like a pendulum. Regulus dove aside, landed hard on his bad shoulder with a white-hot burst of pain, but gritted his teeth and rolled through it.
He came up on one knee, chest heaving, and threw his dagger with all the strength he had left.
It flew true.
The blade buried itself in the creature’s left eye with a wet crunch. The Acromantula screamed, a screeching, awful sound of agony. Its limbs flailed wildly, tearing up chunks of earth and root.
Regulus didn’t waste the moment.
He sprinted forward and slid under its belly again, grabbed a thick, jagged branch he’d spotted earlier, and with a raw, primal cry, drove it up into the open wound he’d made.
The wood punched into the open wound he’d carved earlier, sinking in deep. The beast shrieked, its entire body convulsing violently, legs spasming as it stumbled back.
And then it collapsed.
The forest floor trembled as the Acromantula crashed to the earth, its monstrous legs twitching, its breath coming in broken, rattling gasps. Ichor pooled around its mangled body, black and steaming.
Regulus staggered to his feet.
Slowly, Regulus rose from the ground and yanked his dagger free from its eye socket, the blade slick and black. He wiped it on the grass, his movements automatic, methodical, then turned to the dark trees and ran.
Branches clawed at his shoulders, tearing at his jacket with grasping fingers. Brambles snapped underfoot like brittle bones, thorns dragging across his skin as he pushed forward, faster, harder. He didn’t stop to breathe. He didn’t stop to think. His legs moved on instinct alone, driven by a single thought that pulsed through his skull in time with his pounding heart:
JamesJamesJamesJames.
The sound of the river came before the sight of it—a low, urgent rush of water carving through stone, louder with each frantic step. Then the glint of moonlight began to shimmer through the trees, silver flashing on dark water. The ground sloped downward, uneven and treacherous, slick with wet leaves and moss. He half-fell, half-sprinted the last stretch.
He broke through the final line of trees, lungs seizing, mud splashing underfoot as he skidded to a halt near the bank. His boots nearly slid out from under him. His breath came in ragged bursts, his body slick with sweat and ichor. For a second, he couldn’t see—only the blinding afterimages of movement and fear.
And there they were.
Sirius spotted him first.
“Reggie!”
The word was broken and too loud. Sirius stumbled forward, tripping over roots and stones in his rush. His eyes were wide and shining, not just with relief but with something jagged and breaking underneath.
And then he was there, colliding into Regulus with the force of a Blasting Curse. Arms wrapped so tight it drove the air from Regulus’ lungs. The impact jolted his spine, but he didn’t care—Sirius was solid and warm and alive.
He held on like he’d fall apart if he didn’t.
“You’re okay,” Sirius choked out, words half-breathed, half-sobbed against the side of Regulus’ throat. “You’re okay—you’re okay—fuck, you’re okay.” His voice broke on the last one. His whole body trembled, the kind of tremor that doesn’t fade quickly.
Regulus couldn’t answer. His throat felt locked, as if speech would splinter him from the inside out. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Sirius with bone-deep certainty, one hand fisting into the back of his shirt like he could anchor him there, the other cupping the nape of his neck in a grip equal parts protective and desperate. Sirius was warm, and Regulus hadn’t realized until this moment how cold he’d been. How close he’d come.
The scent of wet earth and smoke filled his lungs. The ache in his chest loosened, fraction by fraction. He might have stayed there forever if not for the shadow that stepped into his periphery.
James.
Sirius eased back reluctantly, though one hand lingered on Regulus’ shoulder like he wasn’t ready to lose the contact entirely. James didn’t speak—he just reached out, his palm curling under Regulus’ jaw. His touch was steady, grounding, a quiet insistence that pulled Regulus’ gaze upward. No hesitation. No permission asked.
And when Regulus kissed him, hard, urgent, without apology, he didn’t hesitate. The kind of kiss that wasn’t about romance so much as survival—about proving, in skin and breath, that they were both still here. His hands shook, and he could feel the smear of ichor on his own clothes, the grit of dirt on his palms, the faint copper tang of blood still in his mouth. James didn’t care. He kissed him like none of it mattered, like the world could burn to ash around them and this would still be the only thing worth doing.
Regulus, who had been raised to be silent, who had learned to live behind iron walls, let himself melt into it. Let himself be seen.
When they finally broke apart, it wasn’t far—they stayed close enough that their foreheads rested together, breaths mingling in the cool night air. The sound of the river softened in his ears, like the world had pulled back to give them space.
“Never do that again, love,” James murmured, voice rough, scraped thin by everything he wasn’t saying.
Regulus let out something that wasn’t quite a laugh—more a shudder disguised as one.
“Not that I intend to.” His voice was low, but the weight behind it was iron.
Chapter 21: The cost of survival
Summary:
TW: extremely violent death (again 😭) and blood and some extremely visceral things
Sorry in advance for being so awful to Regulus. Pinky promise this counts as character development for him 😶
He will soon become a sassy short king, just trust the process (yes, he is small. He is baby. He would definitely stab your kneecaps if you laugh)
Notes:
Thom Yorke- Hearing Damage
Radiohead- Spirit (Fade Out)
Chapter Text
The adrenaline had faded from Regulus’ limbs hours ago, leeched from his muscles and replaced by a deep fatigue that made everything feel distant and slightly dulled at the edges. His hands ached in that splintered way that came from gripping steel too hard for too long. Every cut stung sharper now that his body remembered it could hurt. Every bruise seemed to throb in slow, deliberate pulses.
They’d stayed by the river longer than any of them had planned, tucked into a shallow hollow beneath a canopy of black pine, the fire low and watchful. Time didn’t move cleanly here; it pooled and dragged. They had passed around the last scraps of food, some dry bread and sinewy strips of smoked meat that tasted of nothing, the pieces shared between hands that shook too much to pretend otherwise. Wounds were patched in quiet pairs, fingers brushing over torn skin, smearing salves where they could. No one spoke unless they had to. No one cared about the dirt in their hair or the blood on their clothes.
Regulus had been the first to pull away. He’d stood stiffly, shedding his blood-caked coat like it was a snake’s skin, and walked toward the river without looking at anyone. The water was black under the moon, glinting with silver edges where the current caught the light. He stepped in, boots and all, the freezing shock biting immediately into his bones. He went deeper until it reached his knees, then crouched and began to scrub at his arms and chest, nails scraping over grime, blood, and ichor. T
James followed him a minute later. He didn’t announce himself, just waded in behind him, the water curling around his shins. When Regulus finally turned, James was already there, reaching out without a word. His hands moved to the straps of Regulus’ ruined leathers, working them loose. The leather was stiff with blood, and James’ fingers brushed over fresh bruises and half-healed cuts, pausing sometimes like he was mapping each injury.
They worked in quiet tandem, each movement deliberate. The cold stole their breath but steadied their minds. By the time they stepped back onto the bank, dripping and shivering, Regulus found James’ hand without looking for it. They didn’t go back right away. Instead, they sat side by side at the water’s edge, steam curling faintly from their damp clothes in the moonlight. James leaned into him, resting his temple against Regulus’ shoulder. Regulus tilted his head slightly until his cheek brushed James’ hair, the strands still wet and smelling faintly of river water.
Back at the camp, the quiet had frayed into something taut.
Barty paced at the edge of the clearing, restless energy spilling out of him in sharp, repetitive gestures—tugging at his sleeves, running his fingers through his hair, tapping the hilt of the dagger strapped to his thigh. Evan tried to pull him into a low-voiced conversation, but Barty only shook his head and muttered something short, bitten off. Then, without another word, they both slipped into the treeline. No one stopped them.
By the fire, Remus knelt beside Sirius, carefully winding clean bandages over the ugly gash slicing across his bicep. Sirius didn’t flinch, didn’t even complain, which was rare for him. Instead, his eyes were fixed on the trees. Every so often, his gaze flickered toward the riverbank. He never called out, but the tightness in his jaw gave him away.
The forest had gone still again. No wind. No birds. The only sounds were the fire’s muted crackle, the slow push of the current, and the occasional distant calls of things that remained hidden in the dark.
When James and Regulus finally stepped back into the clearing, their hair was still damp, and their skin was pink from the cold. They grabbed their things in total silence and moved on.
They’d only been walking again for maybe half an hour when the forest thickened into shadow, and mist curled low along the roots.
The silence deepened.
That should have been the first warning.
The second came seconds later.
Laughter.
“Well, well…”
They stepped out of the treeline like shadows cut loose—Avery’s smile sharp as glass, Mulciber’s shoulders hulking in the moonlight, and Severus, thin and unreadable, a dagger already loose in his hand.
Regulus stopped dead, his hand frozen mid-motion where he’d been brushing aside a branch. His body went very still. Not startled, but alert, the way a predator stills when it scents something it doesn’t like.
James came up beside him in a heartbeat, already shifting his stance, dangerous in a way that was quiet rather than showy. His knife angled low, blade catching a dull glint from the pale moonlight.
Behind them, Barty made a noise. A short, sharp breath that could’ve been a laugh, or could’ve been a growl. You never knew with him.
Evan’s fingers twitched toward his dagger without hesitation, the motion so small you’d miss it if you weren’t looking for it.
Avery stepped forward first, a grin cutting across his face like a knife.
“Thought you’d be spider food by now, Black,” he drawled. “Or did your boyfriend drag you back from the brink again?”
“Guess you’ll have to try harder next time,” Regulus replied, stepping forward without a flicker of hesitation.
Mulciber’s eyes swept over him in slow, calculated vulgarity.
“Still got that stiff spine, huh? Surprised you’re still walking with how much cock you’ve been riding lately.”
James didn’t flinch, but his jaw locked. His voice came low and tightly reined, the kind of voice that carried more danger than a shout.
“What did you say?”
Mulciber’s smirk widened.
“Want me to say it slower, Potter? You like it when he whimpers? Is that what gets you off? Watching him crawl for you?”
James moved, knife flashing in the half-light, but Regulus’ hand shot out, grabbing his wrist.
“Don’t bother,” Regulus murmured, low enough only James could hear. “They're fishing for a reaction.”
“Oh, come on, Black,” Avery crooned, spreading his arms like he was welcoming them into his home. “We missed the Dark Lord’s little pet. You were so promising.” His eyes slid toward Sirius and Remus, a smile curdling into something darker. “And now look at you. Slumming it with your filthy mutts.”
Remus stiffened, every line of his body sharpening. His lips parted, but Sirius stepped forward first, voice low enough to hum through the air.
“Say that again,” Sirius said softly, voice low and full of lethal heat. His blade glinted in the dark. “I dare you.”
Avery’s grin widened.
“Touchy, are we? Must be hard, living with the knowledge your brother prefers someone else’s leash these days. Though I suppose it’s not a surprise, is it? You always were the pretty one. Reggie just turned out to be the little whore.”
Barty’s laugh cut through the clearing, cold and precise.
“You’re awfully obsessed with his sex life for someone who couldn’t get laid in a brothel with a sack of galleons.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you, Crouch,” Mulciber sneered. “Spent half your school years panting after Black’s robes like a dog in heat.”
Severus’ gaze slid to James, dark and sharp beneath his fringe.
“Potter,” he said with soft contempt. “Still playing knight for lost causes?”
“Only when they’re worth it,” James shot back, and his subtle shift brought him closer to Regulus, their shoulders brushing.
And then—CRACK. The air split open, and other figures spilled from the shadows—Crabbe, Goyle, and Macnair. They wore no masks, but they didn’t need them. Their twisted grins were masks enough.
Barty swore under his breath. Evan’s stance widened instantly.
It had been a long time since Regulus had seen them, but nothing about their presence surprised him.
Regulus didn’t move. He simply scanned the group, eyes already calculating.
Tight quarters. Limited cover.
“Reg,” Barty said, his voice feral and already pitched toward violence. “Your call.”
Regulus’ tone didn’t rise.
“Pair off. Hit hard and fast. And try not to die.”
They fell into place instantly.
Avery struck first.
His wand cut a sharp diagonal through the air, sparking with a sickly, pulsing red. The curse hissed past Regulus’ ear so close he felt the heat on his skin, then hit a nearby tree, bark exploding outward in a spray of splinters.
Regulus was already moving. He didn’t sidestep. He ran through the debris, rolled under a mossy branch, and came up on one knee, his first knife already flying. Avery deflected it with a neat flick of his wand, but Regulus was closing the distance like a hound sensing blood. The second knife gleamed in his grip—a curved silver thing made for opening flesh.
Avery pivoted just in time to meet him, a long, wickedly curved dagger in his own hand. The first clash rang like a bell through the forest, steel screaming against steel. The shock punched up Regulus’ arm, but he didn’t back off. He twisted with the impact, brought his boot into Avery’s thigh, then came back high, then low, driving the momentum forward.
Avery was quick for someone who spent most of his life trailing after someone else's robes. Smarter than he looked, Regulus must give him that.
“So that’s how it is, then,” he said, breathless. “No magic. Just blades. How very muggle of you, Black.”
This time, it was faster. Dirt kicked up as their blades clashed in the narrow gap between them, slashes and stabs coming too quickly to count. Regulus ducked a horizontal swipe, countered with a quick feint, then slashed at Avery’s forearm, drawing blood. Avery hissed, spun on the ball of his foot, and nearly caught Regulus across the throat.
He dropped.
Rolled.
Came up behind him.
Avery pivoted just in time, barely avoiding the stab meant for his kidney. He slammed a shoulder into Regulus’ chest, knocking them both to the ground.
They grappled in the dirt, elbows and knees striking bone. Regulus caught a fist across the jaw that made his ears ring, but he drove his knuckles into Avery’s temple in return, once, twice, again, until Avery’s grip loosened. He went for the kill, blade angled down, but Avery’s hand shot up and caught his wrist, their faces inches apart, both breathing ragged.
“Thought you could run?” Avery snarled, breath hot and reeking of blood. “Thought you could hide? Should’ve known you’d betray your own kind, just like all your mudblood-loving friends.”
Regulus grabbed Avery and brought his knee up hard into his groin.
Avery made a choked, animal sound as Regulus clawed his way across the mud, fingers closing tight around the hilt of the dropped blade.
He spun, fast and low, steel flashing in his grip just in time to parry another wild strike.
Avery was furious now, sloppy even. His mouth dripped red; his eyes were black pits of spite. They tore into each other again—steel-on-steel, blade-on-bone. The air was filled with the sound of ripping cloth, grunts, snarls, and splattered mud. Their feet slipped in the grass soaked with someone’s blood, maybe both.
Then Avery grinned—lips split, teeth red, the kind of grin that only a man who thinks he’s already won can wear. He licked at the blood trickling down his chin.
“Pathetic,” he sneered. “They said you were clever. Dangerous. You’re nothing but filth, and I’m going to be the one to end you.” His eyes gleamed with something sick. “Your father’s gonna be so pleased when I hand him your fucking head. He might even take me out of these trials for it. Might even—”
Regulus didn’t wait for him to finish.
Avery swung high in a clumsy overhead arc, and Regulus stepped into it. The blade bit deep into his shoulder, slicing muscle. Blood spilled hot down his arm, but his expression didn’t flicker.
Instead, he drove his own dagger straight into Avery’s thigh, all the way to the hilt.
The scream Avery gave shook the trees.
Regulus ripped the blade free in a spray of arterial red, and Avery crumpled to one knee, knife still in hand but his grip trembling.
“This,” Regulus hissed, voice splitting at the edges as his own blood ran down his arm, “is for what you did to Evan in sixth year.”
He didn’t stop.
The knife came down again, angled low and merciless. It plunged up into Avery’s side, beneath the ribs. It hit cartilage and slipped through, finding the soft parts easily. Avery shuddered violently, mouth falling open, a sticky gurgle bubbling from his lips. His hand reached out not to strike but to cling, fingers blindly grasping at Regulus’ torn sleeve.
Still—still—Regulus didn’t stop.
His face had gone blank, utterly hollowed out as he stepped behind him like it was part of a rehearsed dance. He fisted a bunch of Avery’s hair, wrenching his head back until something in his neck gave a sharp crack.
He bent close, his voice low and cutting.
“And this one,” he whispered, “is for every girl you hurt and every person you sold to Him.”
Then, with a movement so precise it looked surgical, he dragged the blade across Avery’s throat. Deep. Angry.
It caught on the spine, but he didn’t pause.
Regulus sawed.
Once.
Twice.
Snap.
The head came free, heavier than it looked, and Regulus held it by the hair. Blood ran warm over his wrist, over his knuckles, dripping onto the churned mud.
For a long moment, he just stood there, breathing slow, staring at nothing, the head dangling like an offering to some god neither of them believed in.
Inside him, something screamed, but the sound never made it past his lips.
He had what Voldemort wanted.
He had a head.
And if this was the cost of leaving this godforsaken fucking forest, he’d pay it.
He didn’t remember walking.
One moment, he was standing in a pool of blood with Avery's head cooling in his grip.
Next, he was crossing the Quidditch Pitch, or the battlefield, or the arena, or whatever the fuck it was now.
The world around him didn’t look real. It felt too wide. The sky too big. The wind shifted, carrying with it the scent of putrefaction and dark magic.
Is this even real?
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, a tiny voice whispered:
You’ve gone too far this time, Reggie.
He didn’t feel the mud clinging to his boots, though he could see it. Didn’t feel the throb in his shoulder where Avery’s dagger had touched bone. Didn’t feel the blood drying stiff on his skin, or under his nails, or tangled in his hair.
He could see himself walking. See the way his arm hung at his side, swinging slightly with each step, the head still clutched by its matted hair.
The head bumped his thigh in rhythm.
thump.
thump.
thump.
A metronome counting down the seconds until his soul finally snapped in half.
That’s not me, he thought, watching the scene from somewhere outside himself.
That’s not me. That’s not Regulus Black. That’s someone else.
But it was him.
He caught his reflection in the black curve of a Death Eater’s mask as he passed. Pale face, blood-streaked. Blank eyes. Lips parted just slightly, like a doll’s. Hair soaked dark and flat against his skull, tangled with bits of bark, gore, and something unidentifiable.
The person he saw there wasn’t a boy. He wasn’t even human. He was… a message.
He dared to look around and saw that everyone was already there.
They all survived. Even Peter, half-conscious, was held upright by Dorcas. Marlene’s face was split and bruised. Mary was leaning on Sirius, eyes wet and wide with something between horror and disbelief. Barty and Evan stood apart from the others, backs stiff, eyes unreadable. Remus stared at the ground while Sirius stared at him.
But the one face he couldn’t bring himself to look at was James.
Because if he did, if he saw what was in James’ eyes, he would fall apart. He would scream.
He would drop to the ground and never get up again.
It had to be done. I was the only one who could do it. This was survival. This was strategy. This was war. It had to be done.
And yet—
The head. Merlin, the weight of it. It was heavier than it should’ve been. Every step pulled him closer to the dais, and it felt like he was dragging his own body behind him.
Avery’s face stared up at him, eyes frozen wide, lips parted in a twisted echo of mockery.
He kept walking.
Step after step, each one louder in his mind than the cheers that erupted around him.
Because they were fucking cheering. The Death Eaters lining the arena were roaring with approval. Laughing. Some of them were even shouting his name, for fucks sake. Applauding the violence. Feasting on it likesavages.
The sound clawed at his brain. It echoed in the hollows behind his ears like a scream with no mouth.
He blinked, and the pitch tilted slightly beneath his feet, like the world had slipped from its axis.
Is this really happening? the voice asked again.
He couldn’t feel his fingers anymore. Couldn’t feel the handle of the dagger or the wet rope of Avery’s hair. Couldn’t feel the throb of his wounds or the blood that had soaked through three layers of clothing. All of it was background noise now. White static. Like his body had stopped registering itself.
Derealization.
That’s what it’s called. He’d read about it once in a book stolen from a Muggle library.
But this wasn’t academic, but a waking nightmare.
He could still feel the moment the spine gave way. The wet, meaty resistance. The warmth spilling across his boots.
He tasted bile, but that didn’t stop him from walking forward.
Because this, this fucking horror show, has been the only way out. The only path forward. He couldn’t run or turn back. There was no room for softness anymore. No room for guilt.
He wasn’t the youngest Black son.
He wasn’t a Prefect.
He wasn’t anyone’s brother.
He wasn’t James’ lover.
He was the blade that cut the Gordian knot. He was the price.
And they all knew it. He saw it on their faces.
Even among the Death Eaters, there was a new look. A cold shift. A kind of sideways glance that wasn’t derision anymore, but caution. Calculation.
Fear.
He saw it in the stiff backs of the younger Death Eaters. He saw it in Lucius Malfoy’s expression, cold and calculating, as if trying to fit this new version of Regulus Black into an equation that no longer made sense. He saw it in Narcissa’s stillness—the perfect, unshakable porcelain mask cracking just slightly at the edges where her hands clenched into fists, white-knuckled in the folds of her silk sleeves.
They hadn’t seen this coming.
No one had expected this version of Regulus.
He was no longer the boy who’d spent years mastering silence and subtlety, who had studied spells with elegant precision and used knowledge as a blade. No longer the boy who had survived by obeying just enough and defying just barely.
This? This was different.
This was the version of himself he hadn’t known existed until it was too late to stop it.
He reached the dais where Voldemort stood beneath the black stone arch, a still and inhuman thing dressed in shadows. The air thickened around him, vibrating with a kind of energy that felt alive and wrong. It pressed too close. Too intimate. Like something cold whispering just behind your neck.
Regulus didn’t flinch.
He stopped before the Dark Lord and, with a flick of his wrist, he threw Avery’s head at his feet. It hit the polished black stone with a wet, meaty sound, the kind that stuck in the ears and echoed far longer than it should’ve. It bounced once, rolled slowly, and came to rest at the foot of Voldemort’s robes, mouth open in a final frozen sneer, eyes glazed over and staring at nothing.
The silence that followed was absolute.
The cheers died instantly, as if someone had sucked all the air from the arena. Even the torches seemed to flicker low.
And then Voldemort’s mouth moved—not in joy, not in mirth, but into the shape of something that had once been a smile before someone had stripped out all the warmth and left only the cruelty.
“Well done,” he said, voice soft, lilting, almost gentle. It slithered through the air like smoke. Poison disguised as praise. “Blood answers blood… as it always has.”
The crowd erupted again—but this time it wasn’t a celebration. It was hunger. A frenzied, vicious hunger. Applause snapped like thunder. Cheers exploded across the field. Boots stamped. Fists slammed into open palms. And above it all, the sound of his name, his family’s name, chanted again and twisted into something awful.
“Black! Black! Black!”
Regulus didn’t move. His fingers were still curled, tight and blood-sticky, like they didn’t realize the head was gone.
Regulus stood there, breathing hard through his nose, chest rising and falling, heart hammering against his ribs like a war drum. He turned his head slowly to where his friends huddled together like mismatched pieces of a broken puzzle.
James was staring at him. Pale-faced beneath the grime, a slash across his brow still sluggishly bleeding, but Merlin, those eyes. They burned like fire. Fierce. Disbelieving. Worried.
No pride. No judgment. Just raw, burning concern.
Regulus had to look away before it broke him open.
He looked at Barty then, standing stiff and pale. Regulus’ throat bobbed in a hard swallow when their eyes met, but Barty gave a small nod. He knew. Somehow, Barty always knew.
You did what you had to do.
That made it worse, somehow.
He choked down the sick rising in his throat.
Behind him, Voldemort spoke again.
“Let this be a lesson to the rest.”
The Death Eaters stilled.
Voldemort took a step forward, the hem of his robes brushing Avery’s severed head.
“The weak fall,” he said, tilting his head like a curious predator. “The strong… the ruthless…” He smiled again, wider now, teeth too white against his grey skin. “They rise.”
The words didn’t just settle on Regulus.
They hooked into him. He felt them tighten around his ribs, loop after loop. Wrapping around his throat, his lungs, his spine. Each syllable becoming an invisible collar.
The ruthless rise.
He lifted his chin.
He didn’t kneel. Didn’t bow. But something deep inside him bent—quietly, permanently—like an old branch breaking under the weight of snow.
Voldemort turned to the crowd, arms lifting.
“As reward for their service,” he announced, “Regulus Black and his… group”—a subtle curl of disdain, barely veiled—“are now free to move through the castle. They have earned that right.”
Murmurs swept through the ranks. Shock. Unease. Rage. Obedience. It all flickered behind masks and tight mouths.
Regulus stood still.
The world was tilting again, just slightly. Just enough to make the stars look wrong. Just enough that he had to focus on not vomiting where he stood.
He wasn’t in his body anymore.
He was watching from above, or behind, or somewhere else. Watching this pale, blood-streaked creature wear his face, stand where he stood, while Death Eaters roared and Voldemort praised him like a hunting dog that had finally drawn blood.
That isn’t me, he thought again. It can’t be.
But the thought didn’t comfort him because somewhere in the quiet center of himself, in the space where the horror had burned everything soft away, something answered back.
It is now.
The only thing Regulus could focus on while they were herded back to the tower were his own feet.
Right.
Left.
Right.
Left.
The rhythm was jagged, like something trying to remember how to be steady. His body moved because stopping would mean collapsing, and collapsing would mean being seen. And Regulus couldn’t—mustn’t—be seen right now. Not like this. Not hollowed out, scraped clean on the inside until there was nothing left but the echo.
His body buzzed with the ghost of adrenaline, but his brain refused to interpret any of it. The corridor spun like a memory he couldn’t quite anchor. Time folded in on itself. The cold stone under his shoes might as well have been the floor of that cave. The flickering torchlight smeared across the walls like fire. The smell of blood clung to the air.
At one point, a hand grabbed his. The pressure startled him, familiar and foreign all at once.
It wasn’t James’. His body knew that before his mind caught up.
Regulus knew James’ hands like scripture. Like spellwork he’d memorized down to the breath between syllables. Even with his eyes shut and his heart screaming, he could tell the difference.
James’ hands were steady. Firm in a way that asked permission even when he didn’t say a word. They were always warm, always calloused in the same places. Along the pads of his fingers from years of Quidditch, the base of his palm from gripping his wand too tightly during duels. There was a freckle on the inside of his left wrist, a faint scar just below his thumb from the time he’d been stupid enough to open a crate with a dull knife.
Even blind, Regulus would recognise James by touch alone.
It wasn’t Barty either. Barty’s hands always trembled, twitching with the aftershocks of the things he’d done and the things that had been done to him. His skin was calloused and scarred, marred by old burns and blade marks and the jagged teeth of reckless magic.
Not Evan’s. Evan’s fingers were longer, slightly crooked, the knuckles bent just enough to betray a childhood break that never healed quite right. He carried a quiet self-consciousness in them, always hiding them under sleeves or gloves, like they were some proof of imperfection he couldn’t forgive himself for.
No.
This hand was something else.
The fingers were long, elegant, and uncalloused, as if preserved in time. The skin was pale, smooth, the sort of untouched softness Regulus hadn’t felt in years. And the bones, fragile beneath the surface, almost birdlike in their delicacy. The wrist was so slender it could have been snapped with a single twist, like porcelain pretending to be flesh.
This hand had held his once before, not in this ruined corridor, not under the weight of silence and trauma, but in the dim hush of their childhood. This hand had gripped his during stormy nights in Grimmauld Place, under the heavy creak of the house’s breathing walls and the howls of their mother echoing like curses down the corridor. When Regulus was small and scared, and Sirius had still been his.
He remembered it vividly now. The way Sirius had once pulled him into the hollow under the stairwell, shielding his body with his own, clutching Regulus’ hand so tightly their fingers turned white.
“Close your eyes,” Sirius had whispered back then, fierce and shaking, “don’t listen to her. You’re safe here. You’re with me.”
After Sirius left, Regulus had stared at his own hands for months, trying to remember the feeling of being held like that. His fingers would curl in his sleep, reaching for something that was no longer there. The ghost of Sirius' touch haunted him more than the screams ever had.
He’d craved it. That contact. That anchor. That unspoken promise that they were in this together.
And now, here it was again.
That same hand. That same shape. Older now, stronger, but still unmistakably his brother’s.
And so Regulus held it. He didn’t think. Didn’t question. He just held it and trusted that whenever Sirius took him, he would be fine.
Regulus didn’t know what held him together anymore. Maybe it was spite. Maybe it was routine. Maybe it was the blood still drying beneath his fingernails.
All he knew was that he wanted to scream.
To tear his throat open until it echoed down the stone halls and shattered windows.
He wanted to throw himself against the nearest wall until something cracked—bone or stone, it didn’t matter anymore. Anything to match the fracture running down his middle.
He wanted to tear off his own skin, flay it away like wet parchment, and scrape the forest out with shaking hands. To purge whatever was still festering inside him, before it hollowed him out completely.
He needed pain.
Deserved it, even.
Maybe then he’d feel real again, no longer this floating, weightless thing wearing his body like a borrowed cloak.
But instead, he walked.
Step by step, he moved through the corridor with the weight of the world dragging at his heels, each footfall slower and heavier than the last.
He didn’t speak. He didn’t look.
He simply existed in that suspended, unbearable liminality, where time bled in strange directions and space folded in on itself, and let the numb rhythm of his movements carry him forward through a reality he no longer fully inhabited.
Everything around him became a blur of fractured light and muffled sound, a kaleidoscope of motion just beyond comprehension. Faces flickered in the corners of his vision, too fast or too slow to recognize, mouths moving without sound, like they were trying to speak through thick glass or from the depths of waterlogged dreams. He saw them, yes, but not in a way that mattered. Not in a way that touched him.
His body kept moving, though it was no longer his own. A marionette dragged along by unseen strings, its limbs performing the motions of walking while the last spark of him, whatever still clung to life, had retreated somewhere far below the surface. That version of him watched through a fogged window, seeing everything, feeling nothing, the distance growing with every step.
But the images wouldn’t stop.
The wand pressed hard against James’ throat.
The gurgling noise that followed when his blade struck home.
Avery’s eyes. Empty. Staring at him.
And the head, Salazar, the head, its weight had been so obscene in his palm, the lifeless heft of it pulling at his wrist, swaying with each reluctant step like the pendulum of some grotesque clock, counting down in relentless beats the moments between who he had been before and what he had become.
The memories looped endlessly, a cursed recording etched into the marrow of his bones, refusing to fade.
Over and over and over again.
His breath began to hitch, short, shallow, too fast for his lungs to manage, and the pressure in his skull threatened to crack him open from the inside, blackness creeping inward along the edges of his vision, folding around him like smoke from a fire that would never go out.
He couldn’t stop shaking. Couldn’t stop remembering. Couldn’t tell if the slickness on his hands was sweat or blood or just the phantom sensation of something long since washed away.
He needed it gone.
He needed himself gone—scraped out, hollowed, burned clean of whatever was festering inside.
“Love?”
The voice was soft. Too soft. It cut through the smoke like the first breath after drowning, and it didn’t belong here—not in this blood-slicked purgatory of memory.
Regulus blinked and, for one breathless, disoriented moment, he didn’t know where he was, or who he was supposed to be anymore.
His vision cleared enough to reveal firelight casting long shadows across ancient stone; an old, faded tapestry hung slightly crooked on the wall; the wind tapped softly at the broken windowpanes like fingertips asking for permission to enter.
He was in the common room.
Somehow, impossibly, illogically, he was here, alive and breathing and sitting beneath a roof that hadn’t collapsed on top of him. He didn’t remember the stairs. Didn’t remember the portrait hole swinging open.
He looked down at his own hands, flexed them slowly as though testing the shape of them, and felt no recognition in the movement. They were foreign now. Not hands at all, but instruments. Relics. Cursed things. The hands of a boy who no longer existed.
And still, James was watching him—not with fear or judgment, not even with pity, but with the same unnerving stillness he always had when he was about to say something that would shatter whatever fragile wall Regulus had managed to throw up between them.
It was at that very moment that Peter looked up from where he sat and scanned the room.
“Where’s Em?”
The question hit Regulus like a curse.
The words weren’t loud, but they rang in his ears as though they'd been struck with the force of an unforgiving bell. A new wave of panic swept through him, thick and suffocating, swallowing the room whole, drowning out the faint crackle of the fire and the soft rustle of robes shifting.
Something inside him, a deep, raw part of him that he had spent years burying under layers of detachment, lurched violently, like an animal woken from a long slumber. It clutched at his chest, pulling him toward the past that he so desperately wanted to forget. The memory rushed at him without warning, without mercy.
He froze.
The question sat in the air like a heavy weight, each word tying him to something he couldn’t escape.
His breath faltered, caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat, unwilling to make the next breath.
Peter was still looking at him, eyes wide and full of that fragile hope that shattered something sharp inside Regulus. Peter, who had not seen what he had seen. Peter, who still thought that somehow, Emmeline might come walking through the door at any moment. Peter, who probably hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye.
Her voice calling for Sirius still echoed in the hollows of his skull, a jagged sound that rattled the bones of his memory, each syllable a knife to his chest.
Her bones snapping like brittle twigs.
Peter tried again, voice trembling.
“Padfoot?” He rose halfway from the battered couch, face pale. “Did she… is she…?”
The words sent Regulus stumbling backward, the world tilting beneath him as his vision blurred and spun. The firelight seemed to melt into everything around him, bleeding the room into an indistinct smear of red, and the hands—his hands—trembled violently.
He was back there.
He was back in that moment, frozen in time and drowning in it all over again.
His chest tightened. His breath came in shallow, erratic gasps as if his lungs had forgotten how to function properly. The world around him closed in like a vice, the walls of the Tower pressing against his ribs. His mind was a cacophony of noise, of images, of sounds—the cracks of bone, the gurgle of blood, the silence after Emmeline fell.
“Get him out of here,” Barty’s voice rang out, low and clipped, carrying a kind of brutal efficiency that brought a chill to the room. “Now, Potter! Before he goes under.”
Regulus barely registered the movement around him, too lost in the whirlwind of panic and dark memories that spun through his mind like a storm. But then, just as everything seemed to be slipping away completely, a presence was there—tangible, real, a hand gently but firmly taking hold of his own.
Regulus didn't trust himself to speak, but he followed.
Because, despite everything, despite the weight of the memories and the jagged edges of everything he had become, he would always follow James.
Chapter 22: Aftermath
Chapter Text
The walk back to Regulus’ room felt like moving through someone else’s dream. His legs carried him forward, but there was no sense of intent behind the movement—just the dull, automatic churn of muscle and bone obeying orders from a mind too fractured to issue them. The corridors stretched unnaturally long, bending into shapes that didn’t feel real.
Every few steps, a flicker of torchlight caught the corner of his vision and snagged him like a hook. A brief flare of harmless, ordinary fire, yet in the wrong fraction of a second, it warped into something else entirely. Not light. Not warmth. Blood. Her blood. The red was so thick it seemed to swallow the air, staining the insides of his eyes so that even when he blinked, he still saw it.
James said nothing as they walked. He didn’t try to fill the silence or ask questions or press with pity. He just stayed beside him, steady and warm, his hand never letting go of Regulus’. He held it as though he knew exactly what it meant to do so. As though he understood how fragile it felt—how Regulus was clinging to that single point of contact like it was the only thing keeping him there.
By the time they reached Regulus’ door, the panic had ebbed into something slower but no less dangerous. His fingers were still trembling when James opened the door for him, guiding him in like something precious.
Regulus didn’t speak. Didn’t even glance at James. He simply stood there, in the middle of his own room, looking at nothing. The air felt too thick to breathe. His body didn’t know what shape it was supposed to take now.
James stepped in and closed the door softly behind them. No click. Just the hush of it sealing shut. No eyes. No watchers. Only the two of them in the small, dim space. Then, gently, he carried Regulus to the bed and motioned him to sit down.
Regulus moved like a marionette with tangled strings. When he sat, his spine locked straight, his fists clenched in his lap. He braced for something—anger, disgust, a verdict he couldn’t bear to hear.
He flinched before it could come, and James saw it.
He didn’t answer the flinch with words. He just lowered himself to his knees in front of Regulus, slow enough that every motion could be read as permission. His hands found Regulus’ fists, resting over them like a question. No force, no prying, only the light brush of fingertips over taut knuckles. He slid his palms underneath until he was holding both of Regulus’ hands in his own, grounding him in touch alone.
“You’re safe now,” James murmured, so softly it felt like the words might disintegrate if spoken any louder. “Love, look at me.”
It took effort for Regulus’ gaze to lift from the floor. The present felt too far away, and James’ eyes were too much like light.
“I don’t know how to come back from this,” he said, voice frayed to almost nothing.
“You don’t have to come back all at once,” James said, his thumb brushing over the thin skin at the inside of Regulus’ wrist, feeling the wild, panicked flutter of his pulse. “Just breathe with me. One breath at a time.”
“I killed him,” Regulus whispered. “I killed Avery and I—” His breath hitched. “I held his head like it was a trophy. Like it meant something. They cheered for me. Called my name like I’d done something noble. Like I wasn’t—”
His voice broke before the word could land, and then his body broke too, folding in on itself with a sound that wasn’t quite a sob but something deeper, rawer, like a seam ripping straight through him. He buried his face in his hands, shoulders convulsing, the sound of his breathing sharp and desperate.
“I can’t—” It came out like glass splintering. “I can’t—”
James was already moving, catching him before the collapse could become a fall. His arms wrapped around Regulus, not crushing but firm, the kind of embrace that could withstand a storm. He guided him down until Regulus’ head rested against his chest, where his heartbeat thudded slow and steady against Regulus’ ear.
“Let it out, love,” James whispered into his hair. “I’ve got you. I swear it.”
Regulus couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe. But he clung to James with desperate hands, curling into him like something starved for warmth. James’ fingers threaded into his hair, stroking gently, and his other hand moved in slow, steady circles against his back—nothing urgent, nothing demanding. Just presence. Just touch. Just here.
“I’m sorry,” Regulus rasped into the fabric of James’ shirt. “I’m sorry for all of it.”
“You don’t have to be sorry for surviving,” James said, low and steady.
“I don’t know how you can look at me and not see what I’ve become.”
James pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, his hand coming up to cup Regulus’ cheek. His thumb swept away a tear that Regulus hadn’t even realised had fallen.
“Because I do see you,” James said. “All of you. The boy who thought he had no choice. The man who came back from the dead. The soul who still walks through hell just to keep someone else safe. And none of that, not the blood, not the guilt, not the war, makes you unworthy of being loved.”
Regulus’ breath caught. The words felt dangerous, like something he wasn’t allowed to touch. They sounded like a language he’d never learned but always longed to understand.
“You don’t—” His voice cracked. “You can’t mean that.”
“I do.”
James leaned forward, slow enough for Regulus to turn away if he needed, until their foreheads touched. His breath was warm, close, carrying no urgency. Just the weight of the moment.
“I love you,” James said. No ceremony, no dramatic flourish. Just truth, naked and unflinching.
Regulus froze. His body stopped, as if something inside had short-circuited. His eyes burned. The words were too big. Too impossible.
“I—” The word fell apart in his mouth.
James didn’t press for more. He only leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Regulus’ temple, then to his cheek, then to the corner of his mouth. No demands. No taking. Only giving.
Regulus trembled. His voice was barely there, hoarse and uneven.
“How can you love someone like me?”
“Because I see you,” he said again, slow and certain, as if the repetition might be the only way to make it sink into the marrow of Regulus’ bones. “And I know what’s real. You’re real. You’re good. You’ve fought so hard for everyone else—for so long, you’ve bled yourself dry just to keep them standing. Let someone protect you for once. Let me protect you.”
Regulus shook his head, voice breaking.
“You don’t know all of it. You can’t. If you did—”
“I do know,” James said, cutting in, his voice gentler but no less firm. “I know what they made you do. I know what you carry. I know the things that keep you awake at night. And I’m still here. I’m still choosing you.”
Something inside Regulus fractured at that—quietly, almost imperceptibly—and before he could think better of it, before the old instinct to retreat could drag him away, he leaned forward and closed the final space between them.
The kiss was nothing like war. It was soft, unhurried, a question asked and answered in a single shared breath. At first, it was barely there, a tentative press, as if afraid the whole thing might shatter if they pushed too hard. But then Regulus’ hands fisted in James’ shirt, pulling him closer, and his mouth parted just enough to let James in.
The kiss deepened, unspooled, turned molten.
James sighed into him, kissing him like he would cradle every shattered fragment Regulus thought he had to hide. His thumbs stroked over the sharp edges of Regulus’ jaw, his lips moving slowly but certain, mapping the shape of him. Regulus’ hands were still trembling, but James didn’t try to still them; he just laced their fingers together, pressing their joined hands flat against his chest like he wanted Regulus to feel the steady heartbeat there.
“You’re here,” James murmured against his lips. “With me. I’m not letting you go.”
A sound tore out of Regulus, too raw to name. He kissed James again, harder now, desperate, like he wanted to drown in him, to be erased and rewritten all at once. James welcomed him without hesitation, his mouth warm and sure, his fingers skimming over the ridges of his spine, the narrow planes of his sides, grounding him with every touch.
When they slowed, when the fire in it softened into something aching and deep instead of urgent and consuming, James pressed a kiss to the bridge of Regulus’ nose, then to his temple, then into his hair. His voice was a low murmur against Regulus’ ear.
“From now on, I’m staying here. With you. This is my room too.”
Regulus pulled back just enough to search his face, his eyes wide, glassy, unreadable in the low light. “You—what?”
“I’m not leaving you alone again,” James said, as if it were the simplest truth in the world. “No more waking up in an empty bed. No more nights thinking you have to hold yourself together by yourself. I’m not going anywhere.”
Regulus stared at him like he was trying to see the trap, the catch, the inevitable withdrawal. “You say that now. But you don’t—”
“I mean it.” James’ hand cupped his face, thumb brushing along the high, tense line of his cheekbone. “You don’t scare me. The darkness doesn’t scare me. Losing you—that’s the only thing I’m afraid of.”
Regulus’ breath hitched, and something behind his ribs ached so sharply it felt like it might split him open.
“Why?” he whispered. “Why me? You could have—”
“I don’t want anyone else,” James interrupted, his voice catching for the first time. “It’s you. It’s always been you, Regulus Black, whether you believe you deserve it or not. And I’m going to keep saying it until you do.”
Regulus stared at him, breath caught, expression unreadable in the low firelight. James could practically see the thoughts scrambling behind his eyes, like his brain couldn’t fully catch up with the idea that someone would choose to stay. Stay for real. Stay for him.
“I love you,” James whispered again, quiet but fierce, the kind of truth that burned the moment it touched air.
Regulus froze—utterly still, as though one wrong move might break the moment. His throat worked, but the words he wanted wouldn’t come. All he could manage was the trembling press of his lips against James’, hoping it said what his voice couldn’t.
James kissed him back like he understood anyway.
It didn’t take long for Regulus to finally fall asleep.
His breathing had slowed gradually, the jagged edge of panic dulled into exhausted surrender. James stayed exactly where he was, one hand moving slowly up and down the line of Regulus’ spine. He traced the same path over and over, like a charm he didn’t dare break, feeling every shallow rise and fall beneath his palm. Regulus was curled into his chest, knees drawn slightly up, one hand still clutching the front of James’ shirt in a grip that had softened but not let go. His face was buried in the crook of James’ neck, warm breath ghosting over his skin.
The knock came soft, but even so, James felt his shoulders tense. Regulus stirred faintly at the sound—just a twitch of his hand, a small, uneven breath. James bent his head, pressing a kiss into the dark hair beneath his chin.
“Shh… you’re alright, love. I’ve got you,” he murmured, barely louder than the beat of his own heart.
The door creaked open. Evan’s head appeared in the gap, hair mussed, eyes sharp but shadowed. James raised a finger to his lips and, after one more moment of stillness, began easing himself free. He slid out from beneath Regulus with infinite care, tucking the blanket up over his shoulders, wrapping it around his arms so the warmth wouldn’t escape.
He brushed a few stray strands of hair away from Regulus’ face and let his fingertips linger against his cheek for a breath longer than necessary.
“I’ll be right back, love,” he whispered, even though Regulus was too far under to answer. Then he slipped into the hallway, pulling the door almost, but not completely, shut.
Evan was leaning against the wall, one foot braced against the skirting board, his arms loosely crossed. His expression was tight, somewhere between worry and something heavier.
“Sorry,” Evan murmured, his voice quiet but rough-edged. “How is he?”
James scrubbed a hand over his face. His throat felt thick, and there were too many words lodged there to know where to start.
“Managing,” he said finally. His voice was hoarse. “Barty said to get him out before he went under. Did this—has this happened before?”
Evan shifted his weight, eyes darting briefly to the floor before coming back. His hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing absently.
“He’s… been through a lot. You know that. But not like this. Not this raw. Not this… loud.”
James frowned. “What do you mean?”
Evan nodded once, slowly. “Regulus doesn’t fall apart where people can see. He never did. He… implodes. Quietly. Always has. He’ll vanish for a day or two, shut down completely. Then come back like nothing happened. Calm, clean, composed. Like grief was something he could scrub out of your bones if he just stayed still long enough.”
James leaned against the opposite wall, arms folded tight. “And that worked?”
“No,” Evan said flatly. “But it kept him alive. It was the only way he knew how to keep going.”
James was quiet for a moment, staring at the ground between them.
“How did you help him, back then?”
“We didn’t,” Evan said, no hesitation, no attempt to soften it. “We waited. We tried to be there for him, but he wouldn’t let us in. He wore silence like armour. Distance like a shield. You’d try to talk to him and he’d smile—that smile—and tell you he was fine. That he just needed time. Then he’d disappear into himself, like there was a door that locked from the inside. We couldn’t break it down, no matter how hard we knocked.”
James looked toward the room, where Regulus lay asleep in a bed that suddenly felt like the centre of James’ world.
“But you,” Evan went on, his eyes fixed on James now, “you did what the rest of us never could. You got past the lock. He let you see him break.”
James shook his head slowly. “I didn’t do anything. I just—stayed.”
“That’s more than anyone else ever managed,” Evan said. “Regulus never trusted softness. Never thought he deserved it. He pushed it away like it was a threat. But with you…” Evan tilted his head, studying him. “He broke in front of you. That’s not weakness, James. That’s trust. The kind that costs him everything.”
James let the words settle into his chest, heavy and warm and terrifying.
“He said he didn’t know how to come back from it.”
Evan didn’t speak at first. He just watched James with a strange sort of quiet that made the corridor feel warmer.
Then finally, in a voice that had lost all its edge, he said, “I know you want to help him. I know what you’re doing comes from love, and Merlin knows he needs that. But, James, he’s not used to being seen like this. Not even by us. What you’re giving him is powerful. But it’s also overwhelming. He needs time. And space. Maybe more than you’ll want to give.”
James frowned, shifting his weight, his arms still crossed tightly over his chest. “You think I’m pushing too hard?”
“I think you’re the only thing holding him together right now,” Evan said, his tone steady but not unkind. “But if you pull too tight, he’ll snap. And if you’re not there when that happens, he’ll think it was his fault.”
James looked away, the muscles in his jaw tightening. “I just… I don’t want him to feel alone.”
Evan’s expression softened in a way James hadn’t expected. “He’s spent most of his life alone, Potter. The fact that he’s letting you within arm’s reach after all this… that’s already more than anyone could have asked for. So give him space when he needs it. Let him breathe. You’ll keep him longer that way.”
James nodded slowly, absorbing the weight of that. Then his brow furrowed. “How’s Peter?”
Evan hesitated, then sighed. “Remus told him what happened. Not all of it. Left the worst parts out. But… even the pieces were enough.”
James’ voice lowered. “Is he—?”
“Not well,” Evan admitted. His arms unfolded, hanging loose at his sides. “He’s in his room. Sirius and Remus are with him. Keeps asking if she’s coming back. That maybe it’s a mistake. Like she got lost on the way home.”
James closed his eyes briefly, pressing his knuckles to his mouth.
“You should go,” Evan said, softer now. “Merlin knows he needs his friends tonight.”
James opened his eyes again, looking back at the door like it might anchor him there.
“I will stay with him,” Evan said without waiting for the question. “I won’t leave him.”
James gave a short nod, gratitude and reluctance tangled together, before turning down the corridor. As he rounded the corner toward the common room, something caught in the edge of his vision, pulling him up short.
A door—just slightly ajar.
The girls' dormitory.
He wouldn’t have looked. Wouldn’t have even noticed, if not for the sound. Soft, muffled, almost swallowed by the old stone walls—but crying was something James couldn’t pass by anymore. Not after everything. It had too much recognition in it now, too much echo from the nights when his own chest had ached like it might cave in.
He glanced over, meaning to keep walking, meaning to give them privacy. But the angle of the door offered just enough of a view to root him to the spot.
There was Lily. Her arms were wrapped around Mary, tight in a way that had nothing to do with politeness or comfort for comfort’s sake. They weren’t just leaning into each other the way friends did—they were holding on. Mary’s fingers were fisted in the thick knit of Lily’s jumper, her face buried in Lily’s shoulder as though she could hide from the world there. And Lily… Lily had that look James had once thought was reserved for him: soft, unguarded, brimming with something wordless and vulnerable.
Her eyes were closed. Her brow rested gently against Mary’s hair. And all the sharp, careful edges Lily wore these days were gone. What was left was tenderness. Devotion.
It struck him all at once: this was the look of a woman who had learned love in the wreckage.
Not the kind of love they’d once played at when they were seventeen, all quick jokes and grand gestures. This was quieter. Steadier. Built in the small, relentless acts that kept people alive.
And in that moment, James finally understood why they did not work out.
Their hearts had never belonged to each other in the way that built a forever. His had always leaned toward shadow and steel, toward the quiet, unyielding loyalty of a boy with fury in his silences and grief in his gaze.
And hers—hers had been waiting for someone with gentle hands and firelight in their laugh.
They had been two stars in the same broken sky, but their gravity had always been meant for someone else.
Mary shifted then, just enough for her eyes to catch on him. She froze. Her mouth parted, startled, and she straightened too quickly, pulling away from Lily with a kind of panic. Her face went tight—guilt, defensiveness, apology all tangled together.
“James,” she stammered, reaching for the door as if to block the moment from view. “I—I didn’t mean for— It’s not what— I mean—”
James raised a hand gently, offering a small, tired smile.
“Mary, it’s okay,” he said, his voice low and steady, like the calm after a storm. “Truly. You don’t have to explain anything.”
Her lips parted again, like she wanted to argue, like she still thought maybe this was going to end in slammed doors or bitter words. But James stepped closer, and his eyes were soft. Honest.
“I’m happy for you,” he said, and meant it. “For both of you.”
Mary’s eyes shimmered a little, her shoulders dropping as if someone had just relieved her of a heavy weight. She blinked rapidly and looked back toward Lily, who was standing now, silent but unmoving, watching James with unreadable eyes.
“You really mean that?” Lily asked, her voice calm but edged with something fragile.
James gave a soft huff of breath—half-laugh, half-sigh. “Yeah. I do. Took me a long time to understand love isn’t about who gets there first. Or who was promised what when they were seventeen.”
His gaze flicked to Lily then, holding for a beat, and he smiled again, gentler this time, the fondness still there, but mellowed, weathered by time and war and everything in between.
“I’m glad you’ve found this,” he said, his tone steady now. “War’s taken enough from us. If you’ve got something real—something soft—you keep it. Hold on with both hands.”
Neither of them knew what to say for a moment.
Then Lily stepped forward and placed a hand on the doorframe. “You’re a good man, James.”
He gave a faint shrug. “Trying to be.”
Just as James turned to leave, Lily’s voice stopped him, soft, tentative, but edged with that familiar concern she always wore when someone she loved was hurting.
“James?”
He paused, half in the shadow of the corridor, and looked back. Lily had stepped out of the dorm now, her hand still curled loosely on the doorframe, eyes searching his face with gentle intent.
“How’s Reggie?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “After what happened... is he alright? Are you alright?”
James exhaled slowly. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, didn’t know how to phrase the weight of it—the collapse, the trembling, the soft way Regulus had finally let himself be held. But then a small smile curled at the corner of his mouth, unbidden and quiet, like something long-hoped for had finally rooted itself into the soil of his chest.
“He’s… resting,” James said, after a pause. His voice turned a shade lighter. “And we—we’re finally okay. Better than okay, actually.”
Lily’s brows lifted, and the smile that bloomed on her face was warm enough to banish the cold from the hall. “Oh, James.”
She stepped forward fully now, grinning widely as she reached out and gave his arm a small nudge. “It took you long enough.”
James laughed, the sound low and real, his hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was trying to ease off the weight of years’ worth of tension. “Yeah. Tell me about it.”
Her eyes shone with something layered—pride, maybe, and a thread of wistfulness—but mostly joy.
“Go take care of him,” she said, the words carrying a promise all their own. “And don’t screw it up, Potter.”
He grinned, a flash of the boy he’d been once. “I’ll let you hex me into next week if that ever happens, Lils.”
The door to Peter’s room creaked quietly as James pushed it open.
The air inside was stale, carrying the faint, bitter smell of burnt candlewick. One of the far lamps sputtered weakly, casting jittering shadows along the uneven walls. Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, elbows braced hard against his knees, hands knotted together so tightly his knuckles blanched. Behind him, Remus leaned against the wardrobe, arms crossed over his chest as though he could physically keep himself from unraveling.
And Peter—
Peter was in the centre of the bed, spine bowed, shoulders hunched forward as though the weight of his own frame was too much. His eyes were wide and dry, unblinking, fixed somewhere far past the wall in front of him. His hands rested limply in his lap, fingers twitching in small, erratic bursts, as though they’d forgotten the sequence of movements that made a human gesture.
James had never seen him look so small. Not just physically, but reduced, compressed into something fragile and breakable, like a shadow of himself.
He shut the door quietly and stepped inside, his gaze flicking to Remus. Pale. Drawn. His jaw worked like he was swallowing words that would only make things worse. Sirius gave the barest nod in greeting, his eyes rimmed red but dry now.
“He hasn’t spoken since we got him here,” Sirius murmured, voice cracked and raw from overuse. “Cried for hours. Then… nothing.”
James crossed the room slowly, lowering himself into a crouch in front of the bed.
“Pete,” James said, voice steady but quiet. “Hey. It’s me.”
No response. Not even a shift in focus. Peter’s gaze didn’t so much look at James as pass through him, fixed on something only he could see.
“I should’ve gotten to her faster,” Peter said suddenly. His voice was shredded, hoarse from hours of grief, as if each word scraped against his throat.
James froze. “Pete—”
“I ran,” Peter whispered, as if confessing to a crime. “I was supposed to find her.”
His hands—trembling now—lifted slowly to his face, fingers curling as if to scrub something away. His palms dragged across his cheeks like he was trying to erase himself.
James reached out instinctively, placing a hand on Peter’s knee, trying to ground him.
“You didn’t know,” James said quietly. “You couldn’t have known where she was dropped. None of us did.”
But the words seemed to miss him entirely.
“You found each other,” Peter said suddenly, the bitterness sliding in like a knife between ribs. Sirius’ shoulders jerked. “You found each other, and you fought through hell to get back. And I—” his breath hitched, eyes flashing—not with tears, but with shame—“I hid. I didn’t search hard enough. I didn’t do anything.”
“Peter—” Remus tried.
“I did nothing!” Peter snapped, the words louder now, harsh and full of sharp, self-inflicted edges. “That’s all I’ve ever done! I’ve hidden behind you lot since the first day we picked sides in this war. I stood in your shadow—James’, Sirius’, yours, Remus—and I let people believe I belonged there. But I didn’t. I don’t.”
The tremor had taken hold of his whole body now, violent and uncontained, as if holding the truth inside him had been a dam and it had finally burst.
“I was scared,” he whispered, smaller now, more dangerous in its honesty. “I’m always scared. When the fighting starts, I freeze. And when they grabbed us, I didn’t move.”
There was a long, heavy silence.
Peter looked down at his trembling hands like they were foreign things. Like they’d betrayed him.
“I don’t deserve to be here,” he breathed, barely audible. “She’s gone. I’m still breathing, and she’s not. And I can’t stop thinking—why not me?”
James shut his eyes. There was nothing, no combination of syllables, that could meet grief at that depth.
“I’m so tired,” Peter said after a long moment, voice hollowed out. “So fucking tired of pretending I’m anything but dead weight.”
Sirius flinched visibly, his breath a sharp pull through his teeth. Remus’ face folded like something inside him had caved.
James reached for Peter’s shaking hands, holding them firmly.
“You’re not dead weight,” he said, his tone iron even as his chest ached. “You matter. You’re our friend. And yes, you’re scared. So are we. This war doesn’t make room for anything else. It’s breaking us all.”
Peter’s head tipped forward, but he didn’t speak. Not even when James—quiet, insistent—tried to offer him a thread to cling to. That Emmeline wouldn’t have blamed him. That she knew how war poisoned courage until it was unrecognisable.
Peter only shook his head, each movement sharper than the last.
“No,” he whispered, barely audible. “Don’t—don’t try to make this better. There’s no bright side, James. She’s dead. And I’m not. That’s it.”
His voice was flat now. The grief had dried into something colder. Harder.
“I don’t want to talk anymore,” he added after a moment, still not looking up. “Please. Just go.”
Sirius’ mouth opened, but Remus’ hand landed on his forearm, a silent shake of his head.
James hesitated, heart aching, fingers twitching at his sides. He didn’t want to leave him like this, shut down, hollowed out, but he could see it in Peter’s face. He wouldn’t let anyone in tonight. Not anymore.
“Alright,” Remus said quietly. “We’ll give you space. But… we’ll be around, yeah? When you’re ready.”
Peter didn’t move.
Sirius lingered by the door longer than the others, his gaze fixed on the back of Peter’s bowed head, jaw clenched so tight the muscles ticked. But finally, he turned and followed James and Remus out into the corridor.
The door closed softly behind them.
“I don’t like leaving him like that,” Remus said after a moment, voice low, almost guilty.
“Neither do I,” James murmured.
“He’s… he’s not okay.”
“I know.”
“I’ll check on him in the morning,” Remus went on. “Bring him tea. Just so he knows we haven’t gone anywhere.”
Sirius let out a sigh that was more of a rasp. “He won’t want to talk.”
“I know,” Remus said. “But I’ll be there anyway.”
There was a pause. Then James ran a hand through his hair and exhaled slowly.
“I’m moving in with Regulus,” he said, so quietly that at first neither of them responded. “He needs someone. And I—well, I want to be that someone. I am that someone. It’s time.”
Sirius blinked, then shook his head with that familiar, faintly dazed smile that meant his heart was too full to form proper words.
“Took you bloody long enough.”
James snorted. “Yeah. I know.”
Remus didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he nodded, a small, approving sound humming in his throat.
“He’ll sleep better with you there,” he said. “He’ll feel safer.”
James’ eyes softened. “So will I.”
Sirius leaned against the wall, looking at the ceiling like it might have answers. “All of us are breaking in different ways,” he said quietly. “At least some of us are figuring out how to hold each other through it.”
No one replied. There wasn’t anything more to say.
So they stood there, three men who had been boys not so long ago, letting the quiet settle, letting the war press in from all sides.
The door creaked softly as James slipped inside, the low groan of the hinges too loud in the hush of the room. Evan was still there, curled in the armchair by the far wall, his long legs folded awkwardly under the blanket draped across him. The lamplight painted shadows under his eyes, sharpening the worry etched into his face. He looked like someone who’d been keeping vigil too long—caught somewhere between exhaustion and the stubborn refusal to leave.
“He didn’t wake up,” Evan murmured as James stepped inside. His voice was low and careful, the kind of softness people used when they were afraid to disturb something fragile enough to break from the weight of a word. He unfolded himself from the chair, stretching his stiff limbs, and glanced toward the bed before meeting James’ eyes. “How’s Peter?”
James opened his mouth to answer, but the words never came. His throat closed around them like grief too large to name. He only shook his head, a slow and helpless gesture, and the look Evan gave him in return was heavy with understanding.
No words passed between them after that—there was nothing left to say. Only a brief nod, and a quiet, “See you tomorrow,” before Evan slipped past him and out the door, like a shadow folding into the dark.
Regulus lay tangled in the sheets, one arm thrown over where he should have been, as if he searched for him at some point. For all his sharp edges and clipped words when awake, Regulus Black chased closure the way a Niffler chased gold—drawn to it, needing it, no matter the cost. Now, with sleep softening his features, the walls around him had dropped. His hair, a dark riot against the pillow, caught the dim light in silvered strands. He looked young and heartbreakingly human.
James took off his jacket slowly, careful not to make a sound, and then slipped under the covers, inch by inch, until the warmth of Regulus’ body found him. The bed dipped under his weight, and Regulus stirred with a soft sound.
“Mm?” His voice was thick with sleep, muffled into the pillow. But instinct moved him where thought hadn’t—an arm sliding around James’ waist, drawing him in until their chests touched, heartbeats finding each other through skin and bone.
James exhaled slowly and reached up, fingers threading through the unruly mess of his hair. He scratched gently at his scalp, a motion more comforting than sensual, though it made Regulus hum low in his throat—a sound of contentment, of recognition. As if James’ touch reached some place inside him that words could never reach.
Regulus shifted closer still, his mouth brushing the place where James’ shoulder met his neck. James felt the faint scrape of teeth, followed by the slow drag of lips against skin, an unhurried touch that stole the breath right out of him.
“You’re freezing,” Regulus murmured against his throat, voice low and rasped. His hands slipped under James’ shirt, fingers splaying wide against the muscles of his back, pressing heat into him like he could anchor it there. “Come here.”
James gave a soft chuckle as Regulus climbed over him, straddling his hips with a slow, claiming weight that felt like both safety and danger. James’ hands slowly skimmed his sides like he was mapping the places that made him real.
The first kiss was clumsy, heavy with the drag of sleep, but beneath it burned something sharper. Need. Longing. That restless hunger born after fear had cracked them open and left them raw. It deepened quickly, turned fierce, almost desperate, like they were trying to breathe life into each other one kiss at a time.
It was deep and consuming. Exactly the way Regulus Black loved. His love was not the kind you survived. It was the kind of love that stayed in your blood, even after he was gone. The kind that ruined you for anything else.
His hips rolled, slow and deliberate, and James’ gasp shivered against his mouth. Regulus’ lips traced his jaw, his neck, finding the place beneath his ear that made him shudder all the way down to his toes.
“Missed you,” Regulus breathed, voice stripped bare. His hips pressed again, coaxing another stutter from James’ pulse. “Hate when you’re not here.”
James’ fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. “I’m here now,” he murmured, his voice roughening as Regulus’ teeth grazed his collarbone. “I’m not going anywhere.”
The breath Regulus let out was half-sigh, half-shiver. His mouth found James’ again, but the urgency had softened, replaced with something slower. Deeper. Each movement was careful, almost reverent—as if touching James like this was an act of devotion, a way to remind himself they were still here, still alive, still theirs.
James rolled them, pressing Regulus into the mattress. The boy beneath him gasped softly, head tipping back into the pillows. When their eyes met, the heat in Regulus’ gaze was threaded through with something that caught at James’ ribs—trust, unyielding and relentless.
He kissed him again, slower this time, sinking into the taste of him, into the feel of him. Regulus kissed back like it meant everything.
“I love you,” Regulus whispered, his voice trembling. He was testing the words, rolling them in his mouth like someone tastes a deep, rich wine. The words landed heavily in James’ chest. Like a blade and a balm all at once.
James stilled for a moment, staring down at him, barely breathing. I love you. The words clung to the air between them, thick with meaning, trembling with fear and wonder. His thumb brushed gently over Regulus’ cheekbone, a reverent motion, like he couldn’t believe he was real.
Regulus looked like he’d just laid down a sword. Like saying it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done and the most necessary. His chest rose and fell beneath James, not fast, not slow, just steady. Like the calm that followed a storm.
“I didn’t think I could say it,” he admitted, his voice breaking open on the edges. “Not after everything.” His eyes shone in the low light, unguarded in a way James had rarely seen.
James shook his head slowly, pressing his forehead to Regulus’.
“You don’t have to earn love, Regulus,” he said, voice barely a breath. “You don’t have to be perfect to deserve it.”
Regulus blinked up at him, wide-eyed and unspeakably young in that moment. His mouth parted like he wanted to argue, but James kissed him instead—softly, sweetly, like he was promising him everything without needing to say another word.
The kiss deepened with the kind of inevitability that felt older than either of them—no rush, no sharp edges, just the steady, building pull of two people relearning the shape of each other’s mouths.
James’ hands roamed over him slowly, as if mapping something precious and uncharted, even though he knew this terrain by heart. His palms slid over the narrow slope of Regulus’ ribs, down the dip of his waist, then up again to feel the delicate arch of his spine. Beneath his touch, Regulus’ pulse fluttered wildly, betraying every thought he tried to bury.
When James’ fingers skimmed the small of his back, Regulus arched toward him, an unguarded, almost startled sound catching in his throat, as if it scared him how much he needed this. Needed him.
They moved together in a slow tangle of limbs, each shift of their bodies a wordless confession. Heat pooled between them, tempered by softness, by the reverent pace they kept. James kissed his jaw, then the hollow beneath his ear, then lower still, tracing a slow, lingering path down his throat with his lips.
He felt the pulse there, a frantic, trapped-bird rhythm beneath skin, and closed his mouth over it in a kiss that was almost possessive. Regulus’ fingers curled hard into his back, blunt nails catching slightly when James kissed his collarbone again.
“You make it feel like…” Regulus’ voice broke, the words catching before he forced them out. “Like I can be something other than this. Like there’s still something left in me that isn’t ruined.”
James’ mouth stilled against his skin, just for a moment, before pressing a kiss there—gentle, steady.
“There is,” he said, the words quiet but certain, breathed straight into him. “There always has been.”
Regulus turned his head then, just enough to meet his gaze. His eyes were glassy in the low light, reflecting something fragile and trembling—hope, though it looked like it hurt him to hold it. “Then stay,” he whispered. “Please.”
James kissed him like a vow. “I’m not going anywhere.”
They took their time. There was no urgency in the way they touched, no desperate clawing or frantic need to lose themselves in each other. Every brush of skin, every breath, every kiss was deliberate. Intentional. This wasn’t about sex—it never really had been. It was about being found, about letting someone peel back every mask and still choosing to stay. About the miracle of letting yourself be held without flinching.
Regulus kissed him like James was a spell he didn’t know how to cast properly. Like he was afraid the magic might break if he let go for even a second. And James touched him like Regulus was a map, and somewhere on him was the way home.
There was no hurry. They let the silence stretch between them, humming and alive. Fingers drifted lazily over bare skin, finding familiar places and lingering there, not to conquer, but to remember. James’ lips brushed the inside of Regulus’ wrist, the hollow of his hip, the slope of his shoulder—like blessings laid in quiet succession.
James’ love was sunlight—brash and unapologetic, golden and untamed, the kind that spilled through cracks where it wasn’t invited and flooded every shadow it touched. It carried with it the warmth of summer afternoons, laughter echoing through open fields, and the promise of life returning after long winters.
It grew things. It healed things. It made the world brighter.
Regulus’ love, by contrast, was moonlight—cool, austere, distant as it seemed. It did not rush to meet you; it lingered far away, quiet and watchful, casting its glow only where it. Where sunlight demanded attention, moonlight waited to be sought out. His was not a warmth that filled the air but a cool, steady radiance that softened sharp edges and illuminated what would otherwise be swallowed whole by darkness.
His love did not reach many. But when it found you, it was blinding in its intensity. All-consuming and eternal.
When the heat between them finally softened, they stayed tangled together beneath the worn blanket, skin still warm, breaths still catching now and then in the aftershocks. Regulus pressed his face into the crook of James’ neck, and the sigh that escaped him trembled, as though even in peace, he couldn’t quite stop bracing for loss.
James didn't speak. He just ran his fingers slowly up and down Regulus’ bare back, humming something quiet and low under his breath. It wasn’t a tune with words. Just a sound. A comfort. A lullaby born from instinct rather than memory.
Regulus’ voice came muffled against his collarbone, brittle in the way fragile things are just before they shatter.
“I never thought I’d get to have this,” Regulus admitted at last, his voice muffled against James’ skin and brittle in a way that made James’ chest ache. “I thought love was… something I’d only ever watch from a distance. Something meant for brighter people. Not for someone like me.”
James shifted just enough to cup his face, tilting it up until he could see him. His thumb swept over the fine edge of his cheekbone, then down along his jaw.
The touch made Regulus’ breath stutter, his lashes lowering briefly before lifting again, eyes searching his like he was still waiting for the lie. Slowly, the tension drained from his frame, and he let himself sink into James’ hold, fingers curling around his bicep.
“I don’t want to wake up and find this gone,” he whispered, the words almost lost in the small space between them.
“You won’t, love,” James promised, pressing a kiss to his temple. Then another to the smooth arch of his brow. Then, slow and reverent, to his closed eyes. “Sleep. I’ve got you. I’ll still be here in the morning.”
Regulus didn’t answer, but James felt the way his breathing gradually evened out, the way his body softened completely against him. And James stayed awake a while longer, holding him like something sacred, memorising the exact weight of him in his arms, because he knew, deep down, he would never be able to let go.
Notes:
Can we please have five minutes of silence for Regulus who finally got the courage to say the words aloud?
Ok, five minutes might be excessive, but we’ve waited long enough, thank you very much
Chapter 23: Hall of Beasts
Summary:
Because I am a functional adult, I am actively ignoring my actual tasks and post this now instead of tonight 😌 work can wait. This? never
Tbh, I feel like some of you might hate me once you finish this chapter
Chapter Text
The following days unfolded in a strange, kind of emotional limbo thick with the lingering ache of having survived something unspeakable. It was as though time itself had paused, holding its breath between the catastrophe that had just passed and the inevitable storm still to come. It seemed like the war took a momentary step back, allowing its survivors the cruel luxury of remembering what peace might have once felt like.
No one ventured beyond the Tower unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then, it was only to eat what remained of the Death Eaters’ food in the Great Hall. The act felt less like nourishment and more like ritual, something done because it had to be, because the body still demanded care even as the soul faltered.
Everyone else seemed to be living in a similar haze. A quiet sort of grieving, not just for the dead, but for themselves—who they had been before the war had carved them into something else. It was as though each of them had retreated into their own corner of the world, silently holding on to whatever pieces of themselves they had left.
Evan and Barty remained cloistered in their room, emerging rarely and speaking even less.
Sirius and Remus appeared from time to time in the common room, lingering near the fireplace like boys trying to remember the version of themselves who once laughed in that exact spot, who once kissed behind curtains and danced when they thought no one was watching. There was something hollow in their eyes now, something trying to remember joy.
Lily and Mary seemed to be an almost inseparable pair now, as if their bond had deepened in the midst of everything unravelling. They weren’t seeking isolation, but they were creating a space just for themselves, somewhere safe, away from the broken pieces of the world.
Dorcas and Marlene had begun to gravitate around each other more often than before. At first, it was barely noticeable: a hand brushing a shoulder, a whisper that lingered a moment longer than it needed to. But gradually, imperceptibly, those moments accumulated, thread by thread, into something delicate but enduring. There was a softness to the way they regarded one another now, as though they alone could see the frayed edges the world had left behind and had chosen to hold them gently, without question.
James and Regulus moved through the days like shadows trailing one another—always near, always present, yet never demanding more than the other could give. They existed in a rhythm of subtle gravity, orbiting each other with the kind of intimacy that did not require noise to be known. Always within reach. Never far. Never overwhelming.
They did not cling—not in the panicked, breathless way of those afraid to be left behind. Their love had found a quieter language, one made of sidelong glances and fingertips brushing like a secret. It lived in the stillness between them, in the soft, unspoken promise that neither of them had to face the world alone anymore.
Each night, James would slip beneath the worn blanket without a word, and Regulus would curl toward him like a tide returning to shore—his face tucked into the curve of James’ neck, as if trying to disappear into something safe, something that smelled like warmth and memory and home. And James, ever steady, would gather him in without hesitation, anchoring him in that fragile space where silence meant comfort and touch meant everything.
When they ventured out, they did it in secret. James would dig out the Invisibility Cloak, and Regulus would already have his boots on before he even asked. They moved like old thieves, practiced in the art of silent footsteps and half-held breath. The kitchens were still guarded, but nothing too difficult for two boys who’d grown up on secrets. They always brought back scraps—some bread, a small bit of stew, a half-loaf of cinnamon cake that was already crumbling at the edges. Nothing extravagant, but more than what they’d get from the Great Hall. What the Tower received there were leftovers. Always cold, often burnt. Food scraped off platters sent from the other tables.
Mulciber and Snape were gone now. Not dead, just relocated. The old professors’ quarters had been gutted and repurposed into something colder. They called them the Headquarters now. No one said the words Death Eaters’ wing, but that’s what it was. That’s what everyone knew. Their absence in the Tower was a relief, and yet it made the silence heavier.
But nothing in the Tower was heavier than Peter.
He hadn’t left his room once. Not for food. Not to speak. Not even when James knocked quietly and offered a soft, hopeful, “It’s me, mate.”
The first time, James had thought he heard movement—the faint shift of blankets, the creak of a bedframe under shifting weight. He’d held his breath, waiting. But nothing came. No footsteps, no voice, not even the soft exhale of someone trying to speak but failing. The second day, even those signs were gone. No creaking floorboards. No rustling of fabric. Just silence.
He didn’t eat. Not even when Remus left food outside his door. It would sit there, untouched, the bread drying into stone, the apples growing bruised.
James stood there more than once, staring at the closed door, feeling something tighten in his chest that he didn’t have words for.
He wanted to knock it down. To drag Peter into the common room and say, “We’re still here, aren’t we? We’re still breathing. That must count for something!”
But even James couldn’t bring himself to do it. Because some storms aren’t meant to be weathered by force. And dragging a drowning man from deep water doesn’t mean he’ll breathe once he’s on the shore.
Remus was the only one who insisted they should keep trying.
“We should do something,” he said quietly, as they sat cross-legged on the floor one evening, passing around a bruised pear like it was contraband. “It’s not just guilt. It’s… deeper. And if we let it settle too long, it’ll root.”
Sirius only nodded. His face was drawn, darker somehow. More haunted.
Peter wasn’t loud about his pain. But maybe that was the most terrifying part of all. That someone could vanish not with a scream, but with a silence so complete, it swallowed every echo of who they used to be.
It was on the third day that things began to stir again. Or was it the fourth? Regulus stopped counting the hours at some point.
He sat at the long table, spine straight as a blade, the perfect posture of a Black—born from bloodline and bone-deep discipline. His eyes were fixed on the far end of the Great Hall with a gaze like polished glass: cold, precise, and honed to a cutting edge. It was the look that had once made even the boldest Slytherins think twice before speaking his name. The kind of look that promised, if you touch me, I will bleed you slowly.
He was watching. Not in fear, but in calculation.
Beside him, James lounged in deliberate disarray, slouched shoulders and idle hands, the picture of disinterest to anyone who didn’t know him. But Regulus did. He saw the tight coil beneath the act—the sharp, hawk-like vigilance in his eyes. The way every muscle was ready to spring.
There was a lingering tension in the air, mainly because Voldemort had been gone since yesterday morning. No explanation. No warning. The absence was louder than any command he had ever given. Power had slipped from its throne at the centre of the room, leaving a vacuum, and nature, as always, had abhorred it.
So, it was no surprise that Bellatrix Lestrange had filled the void like it had been made for her.
She swept through the Hall like a fever dream made flesh, her laughter high and poisoned, black robes snapping behind her like banners in a wind no one else could feel. She carried no authority but her own madness, and that was enough. Every glance from her was a threat dressed as curiosity. Every smile was an open wound.
And then her gaze found him.
“Cousin.” Her voice rang out, pure and cold as church bells tolling for the dead.
She snapped her fingers once, sharp, entitled, and Regulus felt the air around him stiffen.
“Come,” she said. Not an invitation. The word rolled from her tongue like silk and venom.
Her smile spread slowly, splitting into something wide and hungry as she gestured lazily toward her table. As though she expected him to crawl on his knees, forehead pressed to the stone floor in thanks for her attention.
Beside him, James’ slouch evaporated. His body went taut, a bow drawn to the breaking point. The air between them hummed with the promise of violence. Regulus didn’t need to look; he could feel the righteous fire building in him, protective and reckless, ready to burn the Hall to cinders if anyone tried to take what was his.
Without turning his head, Regulus let his hand drift under the table until his palm found James’ knee. Not trembling. Not pleading. Just steady.
A warning. A reassurance. A touch that said, not now, love. Not yet.
He rose with a slowness that was deliberate, the kind of pace that drew eyes and forced patience.
As he stepped past James, his fingers brushed the curve of his shoulder, barely there, but grounding. And then he walked across the hall like a man approaching the gallows with his chin lifted.
Bellatrix’ table was a nest of predators, each one wearing civility like a borrowed coat. Power didn’t just gather there; it hissed and slithered, coiled beneath every glance and gesture like something venomous waiting to strike.
His father sat there, silent and immovable, his expression carved from the same unfeeling marble Regulus had grown up under. Beside him, Narcissa’s beauty was a mask of resignation, her gaze cool and distant. Lucius lounged at her side, every inch silver and calculation, watching the room with the detached precision of a chess player moving pieces toward an inevitable checkmate.
Further down, Rodolphus sprawled like a serpent basking in the sun, his half-lidded gaze hiding something patient and hungry. Rabastan sat rigid beside him, fists clenched on the stone table, jaw tight enough to crack teeth.
Bellatrix rose as he approached, arms outstretched like a saint gone rabid, a holy prophet receiving a martyr. Her voice rang out like a bell cracked down the centre, high and sweet and shivering with mania.
“How lovely,” she sang, voice rising like something from a stage play gone violently off-script. “Come, darling Regulus. Don’t be rude. Don’t keep your family waiting.”
Her lips twisted around the word family like it was a private joke—a sharp, ugly one only she found funny.
Regulus didn’t answer. Didn’t give her the dignity of looking at her. He let his gaze flick instead to the empty space on the bench where he was meant to sit, where obedience was expected. He then looked at his father. Walburga’s favorite heir, the good son, staring at the man who had taught him the shape of silence. Orion Black’s eyes were flat and soulless, a mirror that reflected nothing back. Regulus stared into that emptiness for one long, deliberate moment and wondered, not for the first time, how he’d been born from something so hollow.
Then the touch came.
Bellatrix’ hand, sharp and possessive, landed on the back of his neck. Her fingers curled like claws, nails scraping in mock affection, loving in the way a cat is before it rips the wings off a bird. She pressed down, slow and deliberate, forcing obedience into his spine as if she could mould him into the right shape by force.
“There we are,” she breathed, syrupy and thick against the shell of his ear. “Good boy.”
Regulus’ jaw clenched so hard the muscles in his cheek twitched. He stayed still only through sheer discipline, every nerve in his body pulling taut with the urge to break her fingers. He imagined it in perfect detail: reaching for the dinner knife just inches away, sliding it into the soft place where her neck met her shoulder, feeling the hitch of breath as shock turned her feral smile into something slack and silent. He imagined the sound she’d make, more insulted than afraid, too proud to die quietly.
But he did nothing.
Because to move was to lose and Bellatrix was watching him far too closely for that.
“I said sit, you useless piece of shit,” she hissed suddenly, the honey gone, replaced with electric, crackling fury. This time she shoved, sharp and unrelenting. He staggered, but he sat on the cold bench.
Finally, he lifted his eyes.
Rodolphus didn’t blink, his stillness almost animal. But Rabastan looked at him, not past him, not through him. At him. His jaw clenched so hard the muscle jumped, eyes burning with something fierce and quiet. Not the wild fire of Bellatrix’ madness, but a simmering heat. Rage that had been trapped too long, love that had nowhere safe to go.
Regulus straightened his spine with slow, deliberate grace, folding his hands neatly in his lap like a boy raised for a legacy he never wanted. His expression was calm, carefully blank, but his mouth curved into a polite, mirthless smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Bellatrix wanted a show, and Regulus Black had mastered the art of performance long before any of them realized he’d been acting all along. There was no version of himself left that wasn’t curated. And Bellatrix, drunk on her own theatrics, was always too enamoured with the spotlight to notice when she wasn’t the one holding the script.
She leaned toward him now with an expression that might have passed for affection if you stripped it of context and reality and madness. Her smile gleamed, too wide, too bright, nothing but teeth. Her eyes, feverish and glittering like shattered obsidian, shone with the kind of hunger that had no bottom. It wasn’t curiosity. It was need. The need to unmake something beautiful. To snap the wings off a quiet, dangerous little thing and see what sound it made when it broke.
“Well then,” she purred, plucking a grape from the silver bowl in front of her and rolling it between her fingers like a marble. “Tell me, little star, how was your little jaunt into the woods? Did you frolic among the trees? Pick wildflowers?” She popped the grape into her mouth, chewing slowly enough for the juice to bead at the corner of her lip. “I heard you left quite a trail behind.”
Regulus didn’t answer right away. He could feel his father's gaze skimming over him, disapproval sitting heavy in the silence. Narcissa dabbed politely at her lips with a napkin, entirely detached. Lucius’ eyes flickered between them with cool interest, as though waiting to see who would bleed first.
Bellatrix leaned closer still, her perfume thick and cloying, the wine on her breath catching in the heat between them. Her voice softened into something mocking and intimate, a lullaby with a knife beneath it.
“You were quite busy, weren’t you?” she cooed. “One of ours. A full-fledged brother. Dead by your hand.”
Her tone pitched up into a delighted laugh that wasn’t quite sane. She tapped one jagged nail to her temple as if she were struggling to solve a delicious riddle.
“Imagine my surprise,” she whispered, voice lilting upward in giddy disbelief, “when I heard that precious little Regulus—fragile, fussy, oh-so-polite Regulus—slit someone’s throat. Just like that." She snapped her fingers, "Like a real killer.”
Her grin sharpened. Her tone dropped, feral and vibrating with the thrill of cruelty.
“Did it make you sick, little star?” she murmured, the words curling between them. “Or did it make you hard?”
A few people gasped. A few smiled—sharp, ugly things.
Regulus didn’t flinch. Didn’t breathe differently. He just stared at her, unblinking, eyes like a still, deep well. A void. And somehow, that infuriated her more than if he’d spit in her face.
Bellatrix’ smile fractured, the cracks spreading fast.
“No clever little speech for your dearest cousin?” she sneered, louder now, her voice cutting through the Great Hall like broken glass dragged over stone. “No defence? No weepy little confession? No trembling hands or poetic regrets?” She leaned in, her breath hot against his cheek. “Come on, Regulus, give us a performance! Just once in your fucking life, show us something real!”
Conversations faltered around them. Heads turned. Knives and forks froze mid-air. Even the ones who normally pretended disinterest were watching now, hungry-eyed. Black family drama always promised blood, and Bellatrix had never been afraid to spill it.
Regulus let his gaze drop to her hand.
Her long nails dug into the wood of the table, knuckles ghost-pale with pressure, shaking with the need for violence. He could feel her next move coming, the rising heat of her magic thrumming like static in the air between them. She wanted him to lash out. To scream. To break in public.
But he didn’t give her the satisfaction.
When he finally spoke, his voice was so flat, so void of inflection, it carried louder than a shout.
“Wasn’t that the whole point behind the trial?” He let the silence stretch for one slow, deliberate breath. Then, with the barest tilt of his head: “Maybe next time… send someone better.”
The slap cracked through the air like lightning.
His head snapped to the side, hair falling across his eyes in soft, black waves. The pain bloomed slowly, hot, and humiliating across his cheek, but he didn’t react. He merely straightened again, breath even, hands still folded, eyes focused not on her, but through her, as though she was nothing more than an obstacle between him and the rest of the room. It wasn't the first time she hit him, anyway. But it might be the last.
The silence that followed was suffocating. The kind that meant everyone in the room had just felt something shift.
Bellatrix rose from her bench in a single, violent motion, the scrape of wood on stone like a scream. She moved with the grandeur of a goddess spiralling into madness, her smile warped into something ugly and wild.
“Maybe you forgot your place,” she snarled, voice twisting with venom and glee. She reached for her wand, fingers trembling with anticipation. “Maybe it’s time we reminded you just how far you’ve fallen.”
Her magic was already bleeding into the air, thick, metallic, humming at a pitch that made the hairs on his arms rise. Sparks spat from the tip of her wand, eager for flesh. She lowered her voice so quietly that only those closest could hear, and that made it worse.
“I can still fix you, Regulus. Break you into something worth keeping.”
Regulus felt it coming before she even moved—the shift in the air, the pressure in his bones, that violent promise that always preceded agony.
He braced himself, but the pain never came.
Instead, a new voice glided through the hall. It cut through the tension without needing to rise above it.
“My, my, Bella.” The words were lazy, almost bored. “I leave the castle for one day, and you’re already trying to break the Dark Lord’s favourite toy?”
Heads turned as one, the room shifting like a flock of startled birds.
There, in the arched doorway, stood Cassiopeia Selwyn.
She didn’t enter so much as arrive. Her robes, velvet trimmed in deepest green, whispered around her ankles like liquid shadow, brushing the floor without making a sound. Her hair was pinned with such ruthless precision that it felt ceremonial. Her mouth, poised in an elegant, almost affectionate curve, was the shape of control itself. And her eyes, cold and unblinking, sliced through Bellatrix like they’d been honed for that exact purpose.
The tip of Bellatrix’ wand wavered in the air.
Regulus turned, breath caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat, blood roaring too loud in his ears. Cassiopeia’s presence didn’t soothe, but it stilled. Like the hush before a guillotine falls.
She moved forward at an unhurried pace, the silence folding around her as if it had been waiting. Her heels clicked against the stone—click, click, click—each step deliberate, each one a quiet reminder that she would arrive exactly when she meant to, and not a heartbeat before.
“Is this what this family has become?” she said as she approached, voice amused but deadly, “Throwing tantrums at dinner? Hitting boys across the table like a fishwife in Knockturn Alley?”
A ripple of low, nervous laughter came from one corner of the hall, the brittle sound dying quickly.
Bellatrix didn’t lower her wand. But she hesitated, and for someone like her, even that flicker of pause was a shout.
“He insulted me,” Bellatrix spat, the pitch of her voice sharp with wounded pride. “He’s growing arrogant. Dangerous. We should have cut his tongue out when he still mewled at our knees.”
Cassiopeia tilted her head the barest degree, like she was examining a particularly dull piece of cutlery.
“Did he? Or did he simply speak in full sentences, which you mistook for an insult because your ego is allergic to coherence?”
A dangerous ripple passed over Bellatrix’ face.
“You always did think yourself above us,” she growled, venom curling in every syllable.
“No,” Cassiopeia said smoothly. “I simply am.”
That landed with the weight of a guillotine. Lucius shifted in his seat, the faintest adjustment, but telling. Narcissa froze, lips parted around a breath she never took. Even Orion Black’s eyes flicked, just once, between the two women, not with shock, but with the acknowledgment that the balance in the room had tilted.
Cassiopeia’s gaze found Regulus. It softened—only barely. Just enough to be noticed by someone who had learned to live by subtleties. A fraction less cutting, a fraction more… aware.
But Bellatrix surged forward like a striking snake, wand snapping up again, not toward Regulus now, but toward Cassiopeia. Her fury, uncoiled and feral, shifted targets without hesitation.
“You traitorous, high-handed, condescending bitch—”
Cassiopeia’s wand was in her hand before the final syllable finished leaving Bellatrix’ mouth. She parried the strike in a blink, her own magic sparking against Bellatrix’ like flint against steel. A brilliant flash of violet cracked between them, sending a few at the nearby tables flinching backward with wide eyes.
“Bella!” Narcissa’s voice rang out, sharp with alarm. She rose, one hand on her sister’s arm. “This is not the time.”
Bellatrix snarled and wrenched away, chest heaving, eyes wild. Her hair had begun to slip free of its pins, tendrils curling around her face like vines choking the remnants of a once-gilded portrait.
“She thinks she can humiliate me in front of everyone?” Bellatrix hissed, shaking with fury. “She thinks she can undermine the Dark Lord’s will, walk in here like a crowned ghost and treat me like a child?”
Cassiopeia didn’t flinch.
“I think,” she said, stepping closer now, voice a thread of velvet over razors, “the Dark Lord will be very interested in how you handle his carefully groomed investments.” She stepped closer, the shadows bending with her movement. “ I think he’ll find it... inconvenient, perhaps even infuriating... that you tried to maim something he’s worked so hard to polish.”
A pause. Then, lower, sharper: “And unless I’m mistaken, Bella… no one left you in charge.”
That landed.
Bellatrix stilled, not in submission, but in restraint. Her wand hand trembled. Her lip curled. Her body shook with fury, barely held back by the thin thread of her sister’s hand still resting on her arm.
Narcissa gently pulled at her arm. “Bella, please. You're making a scene.”
And indeed, she was. The entire hall had gone silent. Every eye was fixed on the two women like the final act of a tragedy was being performed before them. The sacred twenty-eight, so often veiled in ritual and pedigree, now bared like beasts tearing each other apart.
Regulus remained utterly still.
Then—tap. tap. tap.
Something small shifted.
His gaze dropped, eyes locking onto the rhythmic sound: Cassiopeia’s index finger tapping once against the length of her wand. Tap. Tap. Tap. Not idle. Not uncertain. It was a sound that demanded attention, like a metronome counting down to something inevitable.
He turned slightly and caught movement across the table.
Rabastan Lestrange was watching. Not Cassiopeia, not even Bellatrix, but the signal. His expression was unreadable, hanging somewhere between clinical interest and cold-blooded amusement. He leaned back lazily in his chair, long fingers drumming against the tabletop in a rhythm just out of sync with Cassiopeia’s.
Then, Rabastan stood.
The sound of his chair scraping back wasn’t loud, but it carved through the thickening tension with surgical precision.
“Enough.”
The word fell calm and dry from his mouth, like the last grain of sand in an hourglass. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t pleading. He simply was. And the finality in his tone made everyone freeze for half a second longer than they meant to.
“You’re both far too valuable to be reduced to common theatrics.”
Bellatrix turned her glare toward him, nostrils flared and chest heaving, but Rabastan only offered a small, tight-lipped smile. The kind that didn't reach the eyes.
Cassiopeia turned her head toward him with a sliver of grace, her gaze unbroken.
“Always the level-headed one among the barking dogs,” she said, voice even, faintly amused
He inclined his head in response, then stepped aside, silently commanding the attention of the others at the table.
Cassiopeia turned toward Regulus.
“Regulus,” she said, her tone firm and unbothered. “Follow me.”
He knew better than to hesitate.
But before he could rise, another voice broke through — slow, suspicious, and heavy with command.
At the head of the table, where he had sat silent and impassive for most of the meal, Orion Black finally spoke. His voice was deep, sharp with suspicion.
“Where are you taking him?”
Cassiopeia didn’t stop walking.
“Dark Lord’s orders,” she said over her shoulder, as if that explained everything, and, in their world, it did.
No one moved. Not even Bellatrix, whose mouth opened like she might object again, but the weight of the name — the Dark Lord — was enough to slam it shut.
Regulus didn’t wait for permission. He rose without a word, his chair scraping softly against the stone. As he moved from the table, he didn’t look at his family — not Bellatrix, not Orion, not Narcissa. He passed James, and Regulus gave him a nod. Small. Sharp. Almost imperceptible.
But James caught it.
He didn’t say anything. He just watched Regulus walk away with something molten and heavy in his chest.
Cassiopeia didn’t speak until they were well beyond the Great Hall, her heels clicking softly against the stone as the torches along the corridor cast tall, flickering shadows on the walls. The silence wasn’t tense — it was deliberate. Like she knew that the walls were most likely listening to them.
Finally, just before the arched entrance to the outer courtyard, Cassiopeia stopped. She turned slightly; her face bathed in orange firelight. Her expression was unreadable — neither soft nor hard, just measured. Without a word, she extended her hand.
Regulus didn’t hesitate. His fingers closed around hers with quiet trust, the gesture simple, intimate in its own, strange way. There was no warning before the world yanked sideways, and the ground vanished from beneath his feet.
Cold air rushed around them and the scent of damp earth and rain-kissed stone filled his lungs. Regulus straightened instinctively, his boots clicking against marble now. They were inside a large, high-ceilinged foyer — some kind of manor, elegant in a way that whispered old wealth and older secrets. The walls were hung with tall, somber portraits. None of them moved. None of them watched.
Only the low, comforting crackle of a nearby fire broke the silence.
Cassiopeia released his hand and walked forward without glancing back.
“Come,” she said, her voice the same measured tone she might have used to invite a guest to tea. “You look like you haven’t eaten since Beltane.”
She led him into a dining room where a long table stood prepared, though only one end was set. As she took her seat at the head, she flicked her wand, and food appeared — warm, rich, savoury things that made his stomach twist with hunger. Regulus sat across from her, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.
He picked up his fork.
“You didn’t bring me here just to feed me.”
Cassiopeia arched one elegant brow as she lifted her goblet.
“No. But it’s easier to discuss strategy when your mind isn’t dulled by starvation.” She sipped once. “How are you holding up?”
He shrugged, focusing on the plate. “Had worse.”
“Don’t be evasive. That’s my job.”
A corner of his mouth twitched. “Would it make a difference if I told you I was fine?”
“No,” she said bluntly. “Because you’re not.”
He glanced up.
She was watching him, not like Bellatrix watched, looking for cracks to pry open, but like someone cataloguing damage. Measuring what could be mended and what needed to be replaced.
“Your hand,” she said. “You’re still clenching your fork like it’s a blade. Let go of the battlefield, just for this room.”
Regulus blinked down at his hand and saw the tension she spoke of. His grip relaxed slightly.
“You handled Bellatrix better than most grown men ever could,” she continued, her tone even. “You kept your composure. But she wasn’t wrong about one thing.”
His brows lifted.
Cassiopeia’s eyes were still on him.
“You’re changing.”
There was no accusation in her voice. Only observation.
“Is that… a problem?” he asked quietly.
“Not for me,” she said. “But it will be for them. They built their control over you on the belief you wouldn’t act without orders. Now you’re becoming unpredictable. And unpredictability… frightens them.”
Regulus looked away, toward the firelight flickering beyond the dining room.
“He would’ve killed James. Or me. Or both. I didn’t think. I just—”
“Good,” Cassiopeia interrupted, her tone unexpectedly fierce.
He looked at her, startled.
“Good,” she repeated, leaning forward slightly. “You acted. You survived. If the cost of that survival is the life of someone who would have gutted you without hesitation—” she lifted her goblet, “—then I call it a bargain.”
Regulus sat very still.
He didn’t thank her. She didn’t expect him to.
Instead, he finally took a small bite.
It was only after a long moment that he asked, “So what now?”
Cassiopeia leaned back in her chair, gaze sharpening like a blade being drawn.
“Now,” she said softly, “we begin the real work.”
A sharp crack echoed through the manor a moment later — the soft distortion of apparition. Regulus straightened slightly in his chair, but didn’t rise. A moment later, Rabastan Lestrange stepped into the room, brushing dust from the collar of his dark cloak. His expression was relaxed, even amused, but his eyes flicked first to Cassiopeia before settling on Regulus.
“Quite the fuss you caused,” he said, drawing out the words.
Cassiopeia leaned back in her seat, her smile sharp and effortless.
“Someone had to tame that feral bitch.”
Rabastan gave a low, appreciative laugh and reached for the decanter.
“You should’ve seen Rodolphus. Nearly choked trying to keep it in his pants. Not from lust, mind you. Just excitement. The pureblood equivalent of a standing ovation.”
Cassiopeia rolled her eyes with elegant disdain.
“He’s always been disturbingly aroused by chaos.”
Rabastan smirked. “Ah, but without this chaos, our little world would be so much duller. Admit it, Cassiopeia, you thrive on the spectacle as much as the rest of us.”
“I thrive on intelligence, not clumsy theatrics,” she countered smoothly, leaning her chin on her hand. “Which is why I find your company more… tolerable than your brother’s.”
His laugh came low and rich, the kind that carried heat. “Careful, Selwyn. A compliment like that, and I’ll start to think you’ve been admiring me from afar all these years.”
Cassiopeia’s eyes glittered with mischief as she sipped her wine.
“Don’t flatter yourself. If I had been admiring anyone, you’d know. I’m not known to be subtle.”
Rabastan leaned a little closer, elbows on the table, his grin sharpened into something more suggestive.
“Then perhaps you should prove it. A whispered word, a glance across the room—I’d recognize your attention anywhere.”
“You presume a great deal,” Cassiopeia replied, swirling the goblet. Her lips curved faintly, like she was enjoying the push and pull far too much. “But I will admit, your arrogance is entertaining.”
“I prefer to think of it as confidence,” Rabastan murmured, his gaze lingering on her a second too long.
Cassiopeia tilted her head, lashes lowering just so.
“Mm. A fine line, isn’t it? One you cross daily.”
Rabastan chuckled, unbothered, and reached for the decanter again. “Then I’ll consider myself lucky if you’re the one keeping score.”
It was precisely at that moment that Regulus set his fork down with deliberate care, leaning forward into the space between them. His voice, in contrast to their lazy flirtation, was sharp and grounded.
“The other trial,” he said, cutting clean through their little game. His eyes flicked between them, unreadable. “Do either of you know when it’s happening?”
Rabastan paused mid-pour, then resumed with lazy precision.
“Two, maybe three days,” he said, swirling the wine. “I overheard Rodolphus whispering. They think it’ll be sooner. But the Dark Lord —” he huffed “— he’s a man of theatre. He likes the wait. Likes the build.”
Regulus’ brow furrowed. “The forest again?”
“No,” Rabastan said, placing his glass down with a gentle click. “The forest was a spectacle. He’ll want something colder now. Cleaner. More deliberate.”
Cassiopeia nodded in quiet agreement, her fingers steepled beneath her chin. “And more final. This isn’t about proving a point anymore. It’s about setting precedent.”
Regulus looked between them, the way they spoke about death and cruelty like tacticians reviewing battlefield maps, and then back down at his plate. The food had gone lukewarm, but he picked up his fork again. Ate anyway.
Cassiopeia watched him closely.
She tilted her head the way a hawk might, eyes glinting with a strange, cold calculation.
“Whatever’s next…” she said, voice low, “it’ll be worse. There’s no more ceremony. No more proving yourself. This is when the real culling starts.”
Regulus didn’t blink. “Then I need to prepare. The others, too.”
Cassiopeia nodded once, then leaned back in her chair.
“Then let’s begin with something simple,” she said softly, though her voice had an edge. “You need to keep your interactions with James Potter to a minimum.”
Regulus froze.
It was subtle, a momentary catch in his spine, a stiffness in the way his fork halted mid-air. But it was enough. Cassiopeia saw it. Rabastan did too.
His eyes flicked from Cassiopeia to Rabastan, then back again.
“Relax,” Rabastan said, sipping his wine as if they were discussing the weather. “No one’s sniffed it out. Yet.”
“But they will,” Cassiopeia added, her voice a soft warning.
Regulus placed his fork down again, this time more deliberately. The metal tapped the plate with a quiet, precise clink.
Rabastan leaned forward slightly, resting one elbow on the table.
“The problem isn’t you, Regulus. You’re careful. Controlled. Practiced. But him—” he lifted a single finger and pointed vaguely into the air “—he wears everything on his face. Every glance. Every pause. Every heartbeat.”
He looked Regulus dead in the eye. “He’s forgetting that the hallways are full of men who’d rip you both apart for fun.”
“I’d kill whoever dares to lay a finger on him,” Regulus spoke lowly.
“I know,” Rabastan said, tilting his chin. “That’s the problem.”
“And then there’s Sirius,” Cassiopeia added. “I need you to act like strangers again,” she said. “Like it meant nothing. You can’t afford softness now. Not when he’s already drawing too much attention. He’s still the blood traitor in their minds, no matter how tarnished. And your proximity to him is a light in the dark for the wrong kind of eyes.”
Rabastan leaned forward slightly, tapping a slow rhythm against his glass with one finger.
“You’re clever, Regulus. Cunning, even. But this—” he gestured vaguely toward Regulus, “—this thing between you and Potter? It’s a weakness. And I’m not sure you can afford more of those.”
Regulus didn’t speak right away. The firelight caught on the line of his jaw as he turned his face slightly away, hiding the expression that briefly broke through.
Then he blinked once, slowly. Composed himself.
“Understood.”
Cassiopeia didn’t smile. But her eyes softened by a fraction.
“It’s not forever,” she said. “Just long enough to make it through the next phase alive. You can do whatever you want in the Tower. But outside? The stakes are too high.”
Regulus gave a curt nod, his throat tight.
And somewhere behind his ribs, something quietly ached.
Cassiopeia’s gaze lingered on him for another beat. Studying. Measuring. Her fingers drummed once against the arm of her chair, then stilled.
“Regarding the other issue at hand,” she began, her voice quieter now, more deliberate.
“I’m going to do it,” Regulus said flatly, cutting her off.
The air between them shifted, subtly, but undeniably. Like the temperature in the room had dropped by a degree.
Rabastan straightened slightly. “Regulus,” he said, voice even but edged with something that wasn’t quite concern, but hovered dangerously close. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I don’t fucking care.” Regulus' voice cracked, not with volume but with conviction — too sharp, too honed to be dismissed as a flare of emotion. “I’m doing it. I have everything prepared.”
Cassiopeia’s lips parted, but she didn’t speak immediately. She simply looked at him properly, this time. Not as a boy under pressure. But as something else.
There was a hardness in him now, coiled tight beneath his skin. Not the terrified brittleness they’d seen before, or the frantic fear of someone trying to stay afloat. No, this was different. This was the steadiness of someone who had stopped being afraid.
This was a boy who had chosen to drown on his own terms.
“Everything?” Cassiopeia asked finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “What exactly have you prepared?”
Regulus looked at her. Unflinching.
“A clean exit plan. Timed contingencies. A backup for the backup.”
Rabastan let out a quiet breath, long and low.
“That’s not preparation,” he said. “That’s a suicide note with good penmanship.”
Regulus leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the edge of the table.
“It’s a calculated risk,” he said. “And you both know better than anyone that those are the only kinds that matter.”
Cassiopeia’s eyes narrowed. “When did you start thinking like this?”
Regulus tilted his head, almost thoughtfully.
“Around the time I stopped expecting someone else to fix it for me.”
Something flickered across her face then, the briefest tremor of worry, of something maternal buried deep beneath all the cold training. But it vanished as quickly as it came.
Cassiopeia glanced at Rabastan, then back at Regulus. “There’s no convincing you otherwise, is there?”
Regulus shook his head once.
“No,” he said. “You trained me too well. Nobody will ever find out it was me.”
That earned the faintest smirk from Cassiopeia. A bitter, reluctant one.
“Then Merlin help us,” she said. “Because if you fail, there won’t be anything left of this world worth saving.”
And as the fire cracked behind them and the old portraits on the walls remained still and silent, the three of them stood in a fragile moment.
The calm before the descent.
The calm before Regulus Black truly began his war.
The cold, damp scent of stone and magic rushed back the moment they landed just beyond the wards of the castle in one of the lesser-used corridors near the dungeons. Torches burned low in their sconces, their flames guttering in the draught, casting pale, writhing shadows that crawled across the walls like restless spirits.
Rabastan followed a heartbeat later, appearing with his wand already drawn. His eyes flicked down both ends of the corridor before resting on Regulus.
“This is where I leave you,” Cassiopeia said softly. Her voice was unreadable, but her gaze lingered on Regulus for a moment too long, as though she were measuring him one last time. “Keep your head low. Let him do the talking.”
Regulus inclined his head. “I usually do.”
That earned him the ghost of a smirk before she stepped back, her cloak whispering over the flagstones as she melted into the darkness.
The moment she was gone, Rabastan rolled his shoulders once and said, matter-of-factly,
“Alright. I’ll need to hit you to make it look real.”
Regulus raised his chin, unruffled. “Just make sure you don’t break my nose.”
Rabastan’s mouth twitched. “Your boyfriend will not like it.”
“Which side?”
Rabastan’s lip curled faintly. “I’m right-handed.”
“Left, then,” Regulus said, turning his head away and baring the cheek with an almost bored tilt.
There was a pause, a split-second hesitation that Rabastan would deny if asked, then the blow landed.
It was clean, practiced. Just below the cheekbone, angled slightly to avoid leaving bone-deep bruising, but sharp enough to split skin and bloom a quick rush of red. Regulus staggered back a step, instinct forcing a blink as tears stung his eyes, but he didn’t cry out. Didn’t even flinch again.
“Fuck” he hissed, and Rabastan caught him roughly by the collar, jerking him forward like a captured mutt.
“Too slow, Black,” he growled, voice pitched for the benefit of any invisible audience. “Think you can slink off wherever you want just ‘cause you’ve got a pretty face and a pedigree?”
He shoved him against the wall hard enough for the sound to echo.
Regulus let his breath hitch just enough to sell it, his head dropping forward.
“You done?” he murmured from under the curtain of his hair.
Rabastan tightened his grip, low enough that no one could see the faintest smirk. “Not yet.”
“Move,” Rabastan snapped, dragging him forward by the arm. “Before someone more ambitious finds you.”
They moved fast through the dark corridors, their footfalls echoing. Regulus focused on the sharp sting in his jaw, on the metallic tang of blood at the corner of his mouth, on the way the castle watched them without eyes.
They passed a few novices, younger ones, who took one look at Rabastan and the blood on Regulus’ face and quickly ducked their heads.
When they were clear, Rabastan slowed just slightly.
“You okay?” he muttered, voice pitched too low for anyone else.
Regulus kept his eyes ahead. “Your aim’s finally improved.”
“Next time I’ll go for the other side. Make you symmetrical,” Rabastan said, chuckling darkly.
“Don’t,” Regulus said. “It ruins the aesthetic.”
Rabastan smirked. “If Potter decides to come after me for bruising his secret boyfriend, I’m stunning him before he gets the first word out.”
Regulus cracked the barest grin, even as pain pulled at the corner of his mouth. “He’d deserve it.”
“You’re not denying the boyfriend part,” Rabastan noted casually.
“You’re not worth the energy,” Regulus replied, smooth as silk.
The Tower’s looming door came into sight. Rabastan gave him one last shove for the benefit of anyone watching.
“Up you go, Black. Try not to trip on the way. Would hate for anyone to think I roughed you up too much.”
“I’ll tell them you cried afterwards,” Regulus said, already starting up the steps.
Rabastan chuckled, low and rough. “You wish.”
Regulus climbed the stairs slowly, one hand trailing along the cold stone wall, jaw still throbbing from Rabastan’s punch. His steps were quiet, careful, not because he was sneaking, but because something inside him had begun to calcify again. Harden. Shrink.
He pushed open the door to the Tower and found that everyone was there.
Sirius sat hunched forward on the couch, elbows braced hard against his knees, fists clenched white, his whole body locked in that brittle stillness people get right before they break something. His head snapped up at the sound of the door, eyes locking on Regulus like he’d just walked into the line of fire. They were red-rimmed, wide and wild, a fever-bright sheen glossing over them. His lips parted, but no sound came out. He just stared.
Beside him, Remus sat folded in on himself like someone had knocked the scaffolding out of his chest. His forearms rested on his thighs, fingers knotted into his hair so tightly they trembled, face buried in the dark hollow they made. His shoulders weren’t shaking with sobs, but there was a low, uneven tremor running through him, like something inside had caved and was still collapsing by degrees.
In the corner, Lily and Mary clung to each other like the last wreckage of a ship gone down. Mary had her face pressed into Lily’s shoulder, and the sobs ripping out of her were ugly, desperate things that racked her whole frame. Lily held on, arms iron-tight around her, but her own tears were sliding down unchecked, catching on her jaw, dripping onto Mary’s hair. Her eyes stared past everything, glassy and unseeing, like she was holding herself upright on pure muscle memory.
Dorcas sat rigid in the window seat, back straight, hands curled tight in her lap. Her gaze was fixed on some point in the dark beyond the glass, eyes flat and fathomless. Marlene stood behind her with a hand on her shoulder, still as stone, mouth set in a line that cut.
And James—
James turned from the hearth, his movement slow, heavy. His eyes met Regulus’, and the sight of them knocked the breath from his lungs.
Red. Shining. Hollowed out. Like someone had cracked him open and scooped everything out from the inside.
There was something in his stare that twisted like a blade. A sharp, silent I failed again. It bled out of him in the tiny tremors running down his fingers, in the tightness around his mouth he couldn’t hide.
Regulus took one step into the room. It felt like stepping into water too deep and too cold.
“…What’s going on?” His voice was soft, careful, but it was already starting to fracture under something he couldn’t name yet.
Except he could.
He knew.
He knew from the way Sirius kept looking at him like he was the wrong person in the wrong place, and there was no safe way to say the words.
He knew from the way James blinked like he couldn’t stand to hold Regulus’ gaze for more than a heartbeat.
He knew it from the silence, thick and trembling, before it was broken by Evan’s voice, cold and brutal from where he leaned against the wall. His face was pale, but there was no grief in it. Only exhaustion and fury.
“Peter is dead.”
Notes:
I AM SORRY FOR IT, OK?
Chapter 24: Breaking the wheel
Summary:
I am seriously considering to delete all the tags and leave only the ones related to angst
“I lived on the moon”- Kwoon
Notes:
TW: Mentions of suicide
Chapter Text
The words hit harder than Regulus expected. He hadn't exactly had the chance to befriend Peter, but he was important to James, hence, important to him.
The words themselves didn’t seem real at first. They were the kind of words that pulled the breath from a room before anyone remembered to inhale.
From the couch, Remus’ head jerked slightly. His fingers clamped tighter into his hair until the tendons in his hands stood out sharp and white, his elbows locked hard against his knees as though bracing against something no one else could see.
“What?” Regulus asked at last, his voice a thin, strangled thing. It didn't make any sense. Fuck, nothing made sense anymore, and they were supposed to keep themselves afloat until the next trial. How the fuck was that supposed to happen now? Peter has been one of them, and now he was gone, and they were crumbling down.
Evan met his gaze, and his eyes were unyielding, cut from something colder than grief.
“I believe it happened last night, but there is no certainty,” he said, each word clipped like it cost him to form. “He used—” There was a pause, a fractional hitch where his jaw flexed, as though the shape of the next words had teeth. “He used a piece of the mirror.”
Regulus staggered back a step before he realised he was moving. His shoulder hit the wall and stayed there, as if it might hold him upright in the absence of anything else.
Sirius made a sound then, a low, ragged snarl that might have been a sob if it wasn’t so guttural, like something tearing loose inside him. He shot to his feet in a single, violent motion, all sharp edges and coiled fury, as if he might drive his fist into the wall or walk straight out into the cold and keep walking until there was nothing left but exhaustion. But he didn’t move beyond that. Just stood there, fists trembling, shoulders set, eyes alight with a fury that was more dangerous than tears.
“I went to check after we returned from the Great Hall,” Remus said hoarsely, his voice warped by something fraying at the edges. “I thought he was still sleeping. But I—” His words cracked apart mid-sentence, his hand pressing hard against his mouth as if to keep them in. “He was cold.”
James choked back a sob, and Regulus' knees nearly buckled at the sound.
“I should have tried harder,” Remus muttered, the words rolling out over and over in a low, unbroken chant, each repetition rougher than the last. “I should’ve dragged him out of there. I should’ve—”
“You did everything,” Lily said through the wet hitch of her own breathing, her voice soft and shaking but certain in its shape. “We all did.”
But no one in the room looked like they believed it.
Regulus’ felt his hands getting colder, his heart thudding like it was trying to break through his ribs. Peter’s face flashed in his mind, then Emmeline's.
No, no, no
He could feel it coming. Could feel the panic clawing at his chest like a wild animal. He needed to breathe, but it was too damn hard.
He slid down the wall without meaning to, the stone biting at his back, his legs folding uselessly under him. His vision blurred, though no tears came.
A hand appeared in his periphery, but Regulus didn’t take it. Instead, he looked up, meeting James’ gaze, and something inside him cracked. Not a clean break, but the slow, splintering thaw of ice when the melt happens too fast, when the pressure underneath finally forces its way through.
He couldn’t lose James.
Not the way they’d lost Peter, or Emmeline, or the others whose names had already been forgotten all these years. Not in any way, not for any reason. The thought of it felt like stepping to the edge of something bottomless.
Regulus wouldn’t survive that.
He knew it now with a certainty that baffled him.
He could lose everything else. His name, his bloodline, his home, the brittle scaffolding of the life he’d been told to live. He could be hunted, hated, and stripped of every safe place he’d ever known. But not James.
Not the boy who kissed him like he meant it.
Not the boy who reached for him in his sleep, like it was something natural to have him around.
Not the boy who looked at him like there was still something inside him worth loving.
A shiver ran down his spine, and he curled his fingers into his palms until the half-moon bites of his nails stung against the skin.
“I can’t—” His voice cracked clean in the middle, raw and unguarded. “I can’t lose you.”
James dropped to his knees beside him so fast it startled the air between them, his breath catching like the words had lodged somewhere deep in his chest.
“You won’t.”
Regulus studied him — the curl of his hair, the flecks of gold in his eyes, the faint scar that hooked at the corner of his mouth. It felt like memorising a map, a litany of details he might one day need if he had nothing else left.
“You don’t know that,” he said, low, the syllables tight with something between plea and accusation.
James reached out then, slow enough that Regulus could have stopped him if he wanted to, and touched his face. Just the faint graze of a thumb along his cheekbone.
“I’m still here.”
He leaned forward until his forehead rested against Regulus’, their breaths tangling in the narrow space. “I’m right here, love.”
Regulus closed his eyes and, for a moment, just let himself breathe in the closeness. The warmth.
He couldn’t let go. Not now. Not ever.
“I need you to be careful,” Regulus whispered, words trembling. “Not for them. Not even for this war. For me.”
There was no pause before James answered.
“I will. I promise.”
And maybe it was a foolish promise. Maybe it was a lie, but Regulus needed to hear it. He needed something to hold onto while the rest of the world crashed around them.
He reached for James’ hand then, cold fingers grabbing warm ones, and for once, didn’t care who might see.
James’ eyes caught on his jaw then, on the faint swelling and the shadowed bruise creeping along the bone. His brows drew sharply together, and his thumb brushed carefully beneath the swelling.
“What happened?” he asked, frowning.
Regulus flinched before he could stop it, the reaction enough to freeze James’ hand mid-touch.
“Rabastan,” Regulus said after a beat, the name soft and deliberate. “It’s… a long story.”
Regulus saw it in the way James' lips parted, in the sudden sharpness behind his eyes. The fire poised at the very edge of his tongue, ready to pour out in a torrent of fury at whatever creature or person dared to lay hands on him, but before that spark could ignite into words, Regulus’ gaze shifted, sweeping across the room.
Everyone was still there. Crying, or silent in their own private grief.
“We need to…” Regulus swallowed, the sound catching halfway down his throat before he forced it through. “We need to bury him. We can’t leave him like that.”
“Barty already took care of it.” Evan spoke, voice rough.
Regulus’ head snapped toward him at once, the breath leaving him in a startled whisper.
“What?” He pushed himself up from the floor, his hand still threaded through James’. “He went alone through the castle?”
“I gave him my cloak,” James said gently, the softness in his voice meant to ease rather than challenge. “Hid got through the corridors and used the tunnel behind the One-Eyed Witch Statue.”
Regulus’ jaw tightened, and for a heartbeat, something passed through his eyes, fleeting but sharp, enough for James to catch it. Something coiled inside his chest, but he brushed the feeling away.
“He shouldn’t have gone alone,” Regulus muttered, the words edged with something that bordered on fear. “If they caught him—”
“They didn’t,” Evan cut in. “He made it out. I was watching from the portrait hole. He waited until no one was in the hall, then slipped through like a ghost.”
As if the words had summoned him, the portrait swung open with a low, slow creak. Barty stepped through, and every head in the room turned toward him. His robes were creased and rumpled, streaked with a fine dust that clung stubbornly to the fabric; there was dirt in the folds and smudges of it clinging to his sleeves. His face was pale beneath the grime, drawn tighter than usual, with shadows under his eyes that spoke of hours spent without sleep.
There was something different about him now, not the erosion of years, but the shift of someone who had crossed a threshold and seen something that could not be unseen.
He scanned the room, his gaze moving without hurry, and yet the air seemed to tighten around him. His eyes passed over Sirius, over Lily and Remus, over the low flicker of the fire burning in the grate, until they reached Regulus and stopped.
Regulus let go of James' hand and crossed the room without hesitation. There was no faltering step, no measured approach; he moved with the kind of unthinking certainty that felt less like choice and more like gravity pulling him forward. He said nothing. He gave no warning. He simply reached him and wrapped his arms around him.
Barty stiffened instantly, his arms hanging uncertainly at his sides, his mouth parting in faint surprise as if the very concept required time to process.
Regulus Black did not hug people. Regulus Black did not externalise his feelings.
And yet here he was.
Barty blinked the shock away, and slowly, hesitantly, his arms came up, looping around Regulus’ shoulders.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, not entirely sure why he said it because certainly, nothing was okay, but knowing Regulus, he needed to hear it anyway.
“Thank you,” Regulus breathed, so quiet that the sound was for Barty alone.
Barty’s eyes widened, the breath catching in his chest for just a second before he tightened his hold, his palm flattening against the curve of Regulus’ back as if to press the words deeper, to keep them from slipping away.
When they finally pulled apart, Barty’s eyes flicked over Regulus’ face and paused on the bruise.
“What happened to your face?” Barty asked, his voice quieter now, edged with something colder.
“Rabastan,” Regulus replied simply, the name carrying its own explanation.
Barty’s mouth pressed into a thin, furious line, but he said nothing. Instead, he stepped further into the room, and the atmosphere shifted subtly.
“You did it?” Evan asked after a moment, his voice quieter now, almost respectful.
Barty inclined his head.
“It’s done. I buried him just past the grove. Marked one of the trees.” His gaze swept across the room.
Lily, red-eyed, her voice trembling, wiped at her cheeks with her sleeve. “Was he… did he look—”
“He looked peaceful,” Barty said, and for a moment his voice softened, slicing through the grief before it could rise and drown them all again. “I made sure of that.”
The quiet that followed settled differently this time. Not the cutting, suffocating silence from before, but something slower, heavier, like the closing of a curtain after a long performance.
James shifted slightly, drawing Regulus a fraction closer without looking down at him.
“Where did Selwyn take you?” Barty spoke again, and from his tone, Regulus knew he was not about to drop the subject.
The words hung in the air, sinking slowly into the thick hush that had settled over the Tower. Regulus didn’t answer at first. He stood very still, shoulders squared, though not with pride or strength, but with that brittle kind of stillness that belongs to animals when they know they’ve been watched.
James stood beside him, his fingers brushing lightly against Regulus’ wrist, not holding, not pushing, but offering a single point of steady warmth that said I’m here without asking for anything in return.
And yet, the question pressed inward.
Where had she taken him?
The answer should have been easy. He had spent years breathing in the stale air of corridors where truth bent until it was almost unrecognisable, where lies slid from his tongue like second nature. One more lie would have cost him nothing. He could say she had summoned him to deliver a message from the Dark Lord. He could offer something vague, practiced, and rehearsed until the cadence felt real. He could even point their attention elsewhere.
But Regulus felt it in the air. In the way they all looked at him. Not with suspicion, not yet, anyway, but with something quieter. Something more dangerous.
Expectation.
It was terrifying, really. For the last five years, he walked a line so fine, balanced between obedience and betrayal. He had learned how to smile with the right curve of the mouth while slipping poison into conversation, how to place coded messages into the hands of people who would kill him without hesitation if they ever glimpsed the truth hiding in the folds. He had delivered those messages to Cassiopeia, to Rabastan, to Illyan wearing the fragile mask of loyalty while, in the unlit corridors of his mind, he built something infinitely more dangerous: hope.
But standing here now, in the centre of their fractured circle, battered and bruised and holding more fear than he could ever admit aloud, he felt a sudden, awful understanding settle over him. That all of it, every risk and every deception, would mean nothing if the people in this room decided to look at him and see nothing but a traitor.
Would James’ eyes still soften when they met his?
Would Sirius’ lash out at him again?
Would Evan shut him out, raising a wall so high that no word could reach him?
Would Remus, who had already seen too much, finally turn away?
Would Barty, who had once trusted him with all of his secrets, regret everything?
“She took me to her manor,” he said finally, swallowing hard.
He hesitated, but only for a breath.
“Rabastan was there too.”
The silence shifted. Not loud, not dramatic, but in the subtle way water ripples when something stirs beneath it.
Evan spoke first, his voice careful.
“What did they want with you?”
And there it was. The moment. The tipping point. The fault between before and after, between silence and revelation. He knew that once he answered that question, nothing could be taken back.
He felt it in his bones, in the hollow ache under his ribs, in the taut pull of his lungs. The instinct to keep quiet was a sharp, almost comforting temptation. But he had carried too many lies, and the cost of them had been written on too many faces.
“I’ve been working with them,” he said at last, and the words slid from his mouth like blood slipping from a fresh wound. “Cassiopeia. Rabastan. Illyan. For years now. Long before this… twisted version of Hogwarts.”
He saw Sirius’ expression flicker. Saw the tension ripple through James’ shoulders. The slight narrowing of Remus’ eyes. Still, he pressed forward, the momentum of confession pulling him onward.
“I played the part they needed me to play. I did what I had to do. I—I kept close to those who were loyal to him. Or at least, who pretended to be. I helped Cassiopeia sabotage missions, made sure key messages never reached their destination. Rabastan… he got me inside Hogwarts when I needed to be here. He made sure the corridors I used were empty, and the right doors unlocked. Illyan— ” Regulus paused and swallowed hard “he helped me with the potions. The recipe for the latest version of Wolfsbane is from him.”
He paused again, gaze sweeping the room, meeting each of theirs in turn.
“I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t safe. Trust… is currency you can’t spend twice. Every choice I made felt like gambling with a wand pressed to the back of my neck. But now…”
His voice softened, the ache spilling in beneath the careful control.
“I don’t regret it. I’m alive. We’re alive. But I know what it sounds like. I know what it looks like from where you’re standing.”
Another breath, steady but thin.
“I understand if you no longer trust me after this. If this changes everything.”
For a moment, no one spoke. Even the fire crackled more softly, as though it too was listening.
And then James reached out, fingers finding Regulus’ again, twining them as though nothing had shifted at all.
“Okay,” he said, voice thick with exhaustion but laced with something unwavering. “Okay.”
“What are we supposed to do?” Sirius asked, his gaze sharp and searching.
“Just… wait,” Regulus said, the syllables heavy and unpleasant on his tongue. “I’ll have to step back. Act like nothing’s changed, like we still hate each other out there. And—” his eyes lingered on James, reluctant, almost apologetic “—you’re too open. Rabastan and Cassiopeia can see everything written on your face. You need to… temper it.”
James’ mouth tensed as though he meant to argue, but his gaze dropped to their linked hands, and after a moment, he only nodded.
Sirius leaned forward on the couch, elbows braced on his knees, watching Regulus with that fierce, unreadable expression he wore when he was caught somewhere between loyalty and fury.
“What does that mean for us?” he asked, voice quieter now. “Are we meant to just sit here and wait for the next horror?”
“The next trial is supposed to happen in two… maybe three days,” he said, and the room immediately shifted, like something had fractured the air itself. Remus’ head snapped up. Mary gasped softly. Even Evan stilled completely, his arms crossed tightly against his chest as though bracing for another blow.
Barty sat on the armrest nearest to the fire, eyes narrowing, one hand moving almost absently to rub his thumb across the edge of his jaw.
“Where?” he asked quietly, tone so level it was almost clinical.
Regulus shook his head, strands of dark hair falling over his eyes.
“Nobody knows. I guess… wherever he wants. Wherever he thinks will make the most impact. Voldemort doesn’t need consistency. He needs a spectacle.”
Silence cracked like a bone beneath too much pressure. It wasn’t just fear anymore. It was exhaustion wearing the mask of fear—grief threaded so deeply into their bones it had begun to feel like part of them.
“It could be anywhere,” Regulus continued, his voice calmer now, but hollow. “The dungeons, the maze. Doesn’t matter. It’s not the place he wants us to remember, but rather that we are his pawns."
“They’re thinning the herd,” Evan said quietly. “Getting rid of the weak first, then the ones who won’t kneel, who can’t be twisted. This is not a mere show anymore, but a systematic elimination.”
Regulus looked at him, and there was a grim understanding in Evan’s gaze that chilled him more than any shadow Voldemort could conjure. It was the kind of knowledge you didn’t get from whispers or rumour. It came from watching people vanish and knowing exactly what had been done to them.
“I’ll try to find out more,” Regulus said at last, his voice steadier than he expected. “But I have to be careful. With the way Bellatrix is spiralling…” His jaw locked, mouth tightening into a hard, bloodless line. “We’re running out of time.”
The room gradually fell into quiet again after that, and Barty stood abruptly. He didn’t speak. Just caught Regulus’ eye and tilted his head toward the door — sharp, deliberate, leaving no room for question. Regulus knew instantly that whatever this was, it wouldn’t be gentle.
He followed without a word. Barty’s pace was quick, shoulders rigid, his silence loud enough to make Regulus’ chest tighten with every step. They didn’t stop until they were in Barty and Evan’s room. The moment the door clicked shut, Barty turned on him, his eyes flaring with anger.
“You’ve been lying to me.”
Regulus stiffened.
“Barty—”
“No.” The word cracked like a whip. “No, shut the fuck up.” His voice trembled, but not with weakness — it was the vibration of something under too much pressure. “You don’t get to talk your way out of this. You’ve been fucking lying to me for years, Regulus. Years.”
“I never meant—”
“I don’t care what you meant!” Barty’s voice snapped like a bone breaking. His hands fisted at his sides, the tendons standing out pale against his skin. “You were working with Cassiopeia. With Rabastan Lestrange. With Illyan-fucking-Muldoon, and you didn’t breathe a single word. Not to me. Not to Evan. Not to anyone.”
Regulus swallowed hard.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you.”
“Oh, don’t you dare,” Barty barked, pacing like a caged animal. “Don’t give me that pathetic line. I was the one who dragged you out of the cave when the Inferi nearly drowned you, remember? You were half-dead, choking on mud and blood, and I was the one holding you up while you hacked your lungs out.”
Regulus winced, his voice barely a whisper.
“I didn’t want to put you in danger.”
Barty spun on him so fast it was like he’d been struck.
“And you think we weren’t already in danger?” His voice was rising now, loud enough to rattle the air. “You think Evan and I were just sipping tea and reading the Prophet while you were out there playing double agent? Are you stupid?”
Regulus took a shaky breath.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, Barty. It got too deep. Too fast. I thought—”
“No!” Barty’s voice cracked, fury splintering through it. “You thought you knew better. You always fucking do.”
The words landed like a blow. Regulus’ chest felt tight enough to split.
“I loved you, Reg,” Barty said suddenly, and this time his voice cracked for an entirely different reason. “I fucking loved you. And you—” His jaw worked as if the words physically hurt. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch someone you love disappear in front of you? To see you come back from missions bruised and hollow, lying through your teeth with that dead-eyed calm and pretend it’s normal? You think just because we broke up, I stopped caring? I sat there and watched you grind yourself down to nothing, and I said nothing, because I thought that you’d eventually tell me.”
Regulus couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t breathe through the weight sitting on his chest.
“I’m sorry—”
“No, you don’t get to be sorry yet!” Barty shouted, stepping forward and shoving his finger in Regulus' chest. “You don’t get to apologise and have it all go away. You left me in the fucking dark. What if they’d lied and Evan and I found your body strung up in the courtyard like some warning sign? We promised each other that day that no matter what, we’re in this shit together. No more lies, no more secrets, no more half-truths. And you broke it. Every single day.”
Regulus flinched. He hadn’t imagined it—hadn’t let his mind go that far. But now the image was there, fully formed: his own body twisted and broken, left to rot in the morning sun while they passed by.
“I thought I was protecting you,” he said again, voice unsteady, cracking at the edges. “The less you knew, the less they could use against you if—”
Barty stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Then he let out a bitter, broken laugh.
“You arrogant prick. You still don’t get it.”
He turned away, raking a hand through his hair before spinning back around.
“You think you’re the only one fighting in this war? You think Evan and I don’t bleed, too? That we don’t know what it’s like to make impossible decisions and live with them? You think we haven’t killed for this cause, Regulus? We’ve seen the same bodies. Heard the same screams. You’re not special.”
Regulus pressed his back to the wall like he needed it to keep him upright.
“I never thought I was.”
“Bullshit!” Barty snapped. “You wear that burden like it makes you untouchable. Like no one else can possibly understand what you’re going through. Well, guess what? We do. We fucking do. And you—” He jabbed a finger toward him, sharp as a curse. “—don’t get to decide who carries that weight with you.”
There was a long pause.
“I’m sorry,” Regulus finally whispered, and it sounded small — not weak, but worn down.
Barty blinked. For a moment, his expression flickered—something caught between disappointment and reluctant understanding. He looked away, exhaling like he’d been holding it in for weeks.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “You should be.”
Regulus watched him, throat tight, something hollow and aching thudding behind his ribs.
“I’ll tell you everything from now on,” he said, each word slow and deliberate, like a vow drawn in blood. “No more lies. No more hiding.”
“Then how about you start with this—what exactly are you planning to do?”
Regulus blinked, caught off guard. “What?”
Barty turned then, mouth twisted into something sharp, half a grin and half a threat.
“Don’t play dumb with me. I’ve seen the way you’ve been watching your old man. Like a wolf sizing up a wounded deer. Every fucking day, eyes on him like you're already rehearsing the kill. I’d bet my own dick you’ve memorised his routine by now using Potter’s precious little cloak. You’re going for his throat, aren’t you?”
Regulus didn’t answer at first. Then, slowly, something broke through—something wry, twisted, dangerous. He scoffed softly, lips curling into the ghost of a smirk.
“Was I really that obvious?”
Barty’s laugh was low, almost feral.
“Only to me and Evan. We’ve lived under the same roof for years, Reggie. Shared too many nights listening to your nightmares bleed through the walls. You think we didn’t notice the way your shoulders stiffen every time you hear the word ‘Orion’? The way your hands twitch like they’re already casting the curse?”
He stepped closer, voice dipping into something unhinged and gleaming.
“Just because we don’t say anything—just because we let it slide with some innuendo or a fucked-up joke—doesn’t mean we’re blind. You think we didn’t see you? We’ve always seen you. And I’m willing to bet that three different murder plans are ticking behind those pretty lashes of yours right now.”
Regulus tilted his head, predator to predator. “Maybe.”
Barty’s laugh turned into something more manic now, nearly giddy with it.
“Oh, my sweet little menace.” He ran a hand through his curls, eyes wild. “Long overdue. Honestly, the man’s been begging for a reunion with your lovely mother for years.”
Regulus didn’t smile, but something in his eyes lit up, dark and cold.
“He doesn’t deserve even that much grace.”
“No,” Barty agreed, viciously. “But you do. You deserve to be free of him. And if this is your way out, your clean break—well, darling, I say sharpen the knife.”
Barty understood. He always had. Not because of love, or duty.
But because rage recognized rage. Because pain loved company, and revenge was always more exquisite when shared.
Chapter 25: Didn’t I do well, father?
Summary:
Good evening, everybody, or good morning, depending on which side of the globe you're on 😌
When I started writing this fanfic months ago, this was the first scene that I wrote. Then I scribbled the bullet points for the first trial, and I was like ok, now what? I need to create a context for everything, and yeah, after so many open tabs that nearly cracked my laptop in two, a long pause from Baldur’s Gate, and abusing the same playlist on Spotify over and over again, here we are, at chapter 25
I started writing this story in December as a way to cope with stress and anxiety. When I created the account in May, it was mainly because my best friend kept pestering me that I should finally do it and post my stories. I never expected that someone would actually read and enjoy them, but here we are, and you guys are truly amazing, and I thank you for being here and for all the comments that always brighten my day 💕
Notes:
"Hayloft II"- Mother mother
"Another one Bites the Dust"- Queen (in a modern au, Reggie woud 100% have this in his earbuds while doing it. Some sort of Patrick Bateman doing his little dance in his raincoat before killing Paul)
Srry my brain is braining wrongly again
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus sat at the far end of the table, the plate untouched before him since he arrived in the Great Hall. He wasn't particularly hungry, nor cared to pretend that he was eager to check today's menu. Probably the same moldy food and half-chewed bones. His fork lay idle, its tines catching the flickering light of the hall’s sconces. Anyone looking closely might have mistaken his posture for serenity. But that specific stillness wasn’t peace but a taut quiet that came before something irreversible was bound to happen.
Across the room, elevated on a dark wooden dais and sitting to the left of Voldemort’s empty throne was Orion Black. Shoulders squared and chin lifted in that generational blend of arrogance and certainty that the name Black demanded. He wore his hair tied back, his robes pristine, a silver serpent clasp gleaming at his throat. Two robed advisors flanked him, men whose faces were carved into the permanent sneer of people who had outlived their usefulness but refused to admit it. Behind them, cloaked killers lingered in the shadows, not guards so much as loyal predators, each with their own body count.
Regulus’ gaze stayed on his father. He studied Orion like a chess player studying the board three moves ahead.
Cassiopeia sat to the right of the obsidian throne, wine glass poised elegantly between her fingers, legs crossed at the ankle in a posture too composed to be entirely human. Her eyes moved constantly, taking in the tables below her with the quiet cruelty of someone who’d already decided which pieces were worth keeping and which she would burn without hesitation.
On the far left of the table, Bellatrix leaned over the table, snarling and snapping at anyone who dared to look at her. Her eyes flicked between the Death Eaters like she was selecting cuts of meat at the butcher. Testing which would squeal, which would shriek, which would break in the most satisfying way. She hadn’t spoken yet, but the anticipation rolled off her in waves.
Rabastan and Rodolphus were also sitting at the table, but they were too busy with their own business. Rabastan next to Cassiopeia and Rodolphus next to his utterly deranged wife.
The whole arrangement reminded Regulus of a painting that he once saw in one of Uncle Alphard’s books. It depicted a Muggle religious scene, and if his memory served him well, it was called The Last Supper or something like that.
From the corner of his eye, Regulus caught someone approaching, and he almost huffed when he realized that it was Mulciber. He’d seen the swagger before the face appeared, the satisfaction that preceded whatever poison was about to drip from his mouth. Regulus didn’t so much as shift his gaze, but Mulciber, predictably, mistook stillness for an opening.
“A little bird told me that Pettigrew finally grew a pair and slit his wrists for the cause,” Mulciber sneered, his voice pitched deliberately high enough to catch the attention of anyone not already watching.
Regulus' fingers finally closed around the fork, pressing the tines into a slice of bread until they punctured the crust, dragging it across the plate with a faint, deliberate scrape. His expression said nothing.
Mulciber chuckled, emboldened by what he read as disinterest.
“Funny, isn’t it? Who would’ve thought the little rat had it in him? You’d think one of you lot would’ve been first. I was expecting Loony Moony to do it, honestly.”
Remus flinched, and Regulus raised his eyes. The shift was so sudden and absolute that even the Death Eaters two tables away felt it. Regulus’ gaze was no longer a look, but a blade. Flat, dead, and promising something final. There was no anger in it.
Anger was too warm. This was something colder, sharper, patient enough to kill twice if it meant the second death would hurt more.
“You have five seconds,” Regulus said, voice low, quiet enough that Mulciber had to lean in to hear. “To scurry away.”
Mulciber blinked. “…What?”
“One.”
“What the hell are you—”
“Two.”
The silence wasn’t imposed; it was chosen by the room itself. It spread like oil across water, slow but unrelenting. The Death Eaters lounging along the wall had begun to look over, their curiosity sharpened by the promise of blood.
“Three.”
Mulciber’s smirk faltered. His eyes flicked sideways, scanning for allies who weren’t moving to help him.
“Four.”
Regulus hadn’t moved. Not yet. But the weight in his stillness was so absolute that Mulciber’s shoulders drew in by instinct. His mouth opened, closed. His feet shifted.
But Regulus had already stood.
Not quickly — no flourish, no sudden movement to spark an immediate reaction. He simply rose, letting the old crate he used as a chair drag against the stone floor in a slow scrape that drew every eye toward him. His fingers unfurled from the edge of the table like a pianist rising from a long, violent composition.
His eyes never left Mulciber’s.
“You want to talk about cowards?” Regulus asked, his tone calm but edged with something brittle enough to cut. “Funny, coming from the boy who pissed himself during the raid in Ipswich. Or was that the night in Wales?”
A ripple of laughter rose from somewhere behind them. Low, mean, the kind of sound people made when they smelled humiliation in the air.
“Remind me,” Regulus continued, his gaze fixed on Mulciber like a surgeon deciding where to make the first cut. “Which village did you help burn while hiding behind Rabastan’s robes?”
Mulciber’s jaw tightened, colour rising in his cheeks. His hand twitched toward his wand.
“You want to draw that thing, go ahead,” Regulus murmured, his voice steady enough to make the threat feel inevitable. “Let’s see who’s faster. Let’s entertain the court, shall we?”
“Regulus,” James said quietly, a note of warning curling under his voice. But he didn’t move to stop him.
Barty, on the other hand, just leaned back in his chair, one arm draped loosely along the backrest, watching like he’d seen this play out before.
"Leave us, Mulciber" Evan said, flicking his palm like Mulciber was nothing more than an obnoxious fly.
Cassiopeia sipped her wine, watching their table. Even Bellatrix had stilled, the restless twitch in her fingers gone, replaced by a predatory focus.
Regulus took a single step forward, slow and surgical.
“You’re not worth the stain on my sleeve,” he said. “But I’ll do it anyway. I’ll carve you up, Mulciber, and give your remains to Greyback's pack. Do you understand?”
Mulciber’s mouth twisted, his attempt at a sneer faltering under the weight of the stare fixed on him.
“You don’t scare me.”
Regulus’ lips curved. Not into a smile, but into the faintest upturn that promised something far worse.
“Oh, I’m not here to scare you. Scaring you would be too easy, you see. You frighten like a rabbit. I’m here to ruin you. To make sure the last thing you hear before the dark closes in is my voice telling you how utterly pathetic you were.”
A few Death Eaters at the next table shifted in their seats, trying, and failing, to hide their interest.
“You think you can talk to me like that?” Mulciber said, voice tight. His attempt to straighten his back was almost comical.
Regulus tilted his head just slightly, as though Mulciber was a specimen pinned under glass.
“Talk?" he let out a low chuckle. "Mulciber, I’m giving you grace. Do you have any idea how many in this room would pay to see me do worse? You’re not clever enough to stay alive in here without someone to shield you. And seems like your master isn’t here tonight.”
Mulciber’s cheeks flushed.
“You think you’re so high—”
“—above you?” Regulus cut in smoothly. “Oh, no. Above you is too generous. I’m not standing above you, Mulciber. I’m not even in the same game. You’re the dirt between the tiles. The thing I scrape off my shoes before I walk into a place worth being in. You’re the boy who hides behind stronger men and then pretends the blood on his hands is his own doing.”
A low murmur passed through the room, sharp and fast, like sparks on dry tinder.
Mulciber’s hand twitched toward his wand again.
“Go on,” Regulus murmured, stepping closer. “Draw. Let’s give them a show. Let’s see if you can even finish the first syllable of a curse before I put you down in front of your friends. I’ll even let you pick the spell. Avada? Crucio? Or would you like to try something fancy? Surprise me.”
Mulciber’s jaw worked soundlessly.
“Nothing?” Regulus arched a brow. “I’ll count for you. That might make it easier. One…”
“Regulus.” Cassiopeia’s voice finally cut through the silence.
It was lazy, laced with the long-suffering tone of someone swatting away a buzzing fly. She didn’t look at either of them; her gaze pinned on the stem of her glass, swirling the wine with the kind of idle precision that came from years of boredom.
“Leave the furniture where it is,” she said. “Mulciber stains if you break him open on the carpet, and the smell lingers.”
A ripple of restrained laughter passed through the tables. Mulciber froze, caught between indignation and the knowledge that Cassiopeia had, with a single sentence, turned him into nothing more than an inconvenient mess to be avoided.
Regulus’ expression didn’t change, but the faint gleam in his eyes said he’d heard exactly what she’d done. He leaned in just slightly, close enough for only Mulciber to hear.
“Run along before she changes her mind.”
Mulciber took a step back, then turned, too quickly to keep his pride intact, and walked away with stiff, jerking movements.
The hall remained silent for a beat longer, then the scrape of cutlery and low murmur of conversation slowly returned.
Regulus sat back down, exhaled once, and reached for his untouched bread as though nothing had happened at all.
From across the room, Orion Black watched his son with the faintest, most unreadable flicker behind his eyes.
Regulus was tearing a piece of bread in half when James leaned in, his shoulder brushing against his. His voice was low enough that it wouldn’t carry beyond their corner of the table.
“That,” James murmured, “was hot.”
Regulus stilled mid-motion. His eyes flicked sideways, not quite turning his head, but enough for James to catch the faint arch of a brow.
Across from them, Sirius chose the exact moment to swallow a mouthful of food and promptly choked on it.
He coughed once, then twice, then smacked a fist against his chest, glaring daggers at James in between gasps for air. Moony, always the doting boyfriend, slid him a glass of water, which he promptly gulped.
“Are you—” another cough, another sip of water “—out of your bloody mind?”
James’ lips curled into a slow, infuriating smile.
“What? I’m just appreciating the—”
Sirius’ boot found James’ shin under the table.
“Oi!” James hissed, jerking back in his seat, clutching his leg.
“Don’t oi me,” Sirius snapped under his breath, leaning forward enough that his hair fell like a curtain between them and the rest of the table. “You’re not supposed to encourage him. Merlin, Prongs, do that again, and next thing you know, he’ll be hexing half the bloody novices for sport just to see if you get flustered again.”
James smirked.
“Maybe I want him to.”
Sirius groaned, dragging both hands down his face.
“Please, for the love of everything still good in this world, just stop talking.”
Regulus, who had not said a single word through this exchange, finally broke his silence.
“You two do realise I can hear you?”
James’ smirk widened.
“Brilliant.”
Sirius reached for his glass like he was rethinking every life choice he’d ever made.
It took Regulus five different attempts to slip from under James without waking him up.
The first time, he barely shifted his leg before James murmured something in his sleep, brow twitching like he was already halfway to waking.
The second time, Regulus tried to slide out from the circle of James’ arm, but James’ hand clamped instinctively around his waist, like muscle memory. Like he’d been born knowing how to keep him close.
The third time, Regulus had rolled to the edge of the mattress only to feel James’ nose nudge into his neck, a quiet exhale fogging against his collarbone.
The fourth time, James literally mumbled in his sleep to stop moving.
By the fifth attempt, Regulus had mastered stillness. He waited, motionless, until James’ breathing evened out again, then held his breath and gently peeled James’ arm from around his middle like disarming a trap.
Finally, there was no reaction. Just a quiet sigh and a frown twitching across James’ face before it smoothed again into softness.
Regulus slipped off the bed silently, bare feet landing on the rug with practised grace. He crouched, reached beneath the frame, and tugged free the familiar folds of shimmering fabric. The cloak was cold in his hands. He wrapped it around himself and padded toward the exit, stealing one last glance over his shoulder.
James shifted again, curling into the warm hollow where Regulus had just been, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like his name.
The common room was dim, lit only by the dying embers in the fireplace. The fire was just enough to paint Barty’s silhouette where he lounged in one of the worn leather armchairs, one leg thrown over the other, cigarette burning between his fingers.
Regulus arched a brow.
“Do you ever sleep, or did Evan finally throw you out of the conjugal bed?”
Barty blew out a stream of smoke.
“I sleep with one eye open these days. Comes in quite handy when your best friend sneaks out of bed to commit patricide.”
Regulus snorted, pulling the cloak over just enough to show his face.
“You’re dramatic.”
“I’m dramatic?” Barty tilted his head, the embers catching in his eyes. “You’re the one planning a murder at lunch and sneaking off like some gothic soon-to-be orphan after midnight.”
Regulus reached for the door handle, but Barty’s voice caught him.
“What am I supposed to say,” Barty drawled, “if your boyfriend wakes up and asks where you are?”
Regulus didn’t turn around.
“Tell him I went to smoke. Or hunting unicorns. Go wild. Be creative.”
Barty narrowed his eyes.
“Unicorn hunting. At midnight. In Scotland. You do realise I’d have to make that sound less stupid than it is, right?”
Regulus glanced back over his shoulder, a ghost of a smirk curling his mouth.
“If you can’t improvise, that’s your problem.”
“And if he panics?” Barty pressed, his voice dipping sharper now. “If he wakes up and thinks you’ve been dragged off to some dungeon by dear old Daddy?”
“Tell him I’m fine.”
“That’s not the same as him believing you’re fine.”
Regulus shrugged.
“Then tell him I’ll be back before he has the chance to do something stupid.”
Barty gave a short, sharp laugh. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“I get enough, Barty. I simply refuse to drag more people into this.”
Barty’s jaw tightened, but he let the point drop.
“Twenty minutes,” he said finally, voice quieter now. “If you’re not back in twenty, I’m taking that bloody map and I’m coming after you.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but the edge of his mouth twitched.
“You’re this possessive also with Evan, or I just happened to draw the short stick?”
“Don’t test me, Black,” Barty muttered, and stubbed the cigarette out on the edge of a cracked ashtray. “Nineteen minutes. You'd better hurry.”
Regulus tugged the cloak back over his head and vanished again into silence.
The castle was quiet—eerily so. Not the comfortable, library sort of quiet, but the kind that made Regulus feel watched. Like the portraits were breathing behind their paint. Like the suits of armor were leaning just slightly into the hallway, heads tilted to listen. He moved like a wraith through a graveyard. Bare feet soundless against the cold floors, the cloak whispering around him with every step.
He passed the trophy corridor—empty. Turned left at the courtyard archway—dark. At the base of the Astronomy Tower, he paused, ducked into an alcove, and waited until the patrol ahead passed.
They passed within arm’s reach. One smelled faintly of burnt hair; another had the metallic tang of blood about him.
He didn’t move until their footsteps had vanished fully from hearing.
He took the long route, through the old Alchemy wing, past the shuttered music rooms, through a forgotten servant’s tunnel hidden behind a tapestry of Morgana duelling Nimue. He knew every inch of the castle now and every passage that was not shown on the Marauder’s Map.
He moved faster now, heart syncing with his steps. He passed the Slytherin corridor and the iron doors of the detention hall, careful to step over the loose stone two tiles in. He could hear distant humming from the Grand Hall, either a night patrol or a late dinner.
Orion’s headquarters lay three levels down, tucked into what had once been the eastern tower. Now it was something else entirely. A personal stronghold, renovated after the war into something more resembling a throne room than an office.
Two enchantments sealed it against entry, and no less than three guards were posted at all times.
But tonight the guards were busy.
Cassiopeia’s schedule had told him exactly when the guards would be in the south wing, attending Rabastan’s unscheduled combat review. If everything stayed on time, Regulus had exactly eight minutes to breach the barrier, six to do what he came for, and two to disappear before anyone noticed a disturbance.
He counted every second.
The corridors here were colder, quieter, lined with portraits that didn’t speak and windows that didn’t show anything real. This was where Orion lived. Where he ruled. Where he sat and imagined the world bending to his will.
Regulus kept low as he passed the first office, which was empty, save for a quill still twitching in its inkpot. The second was also empty. At the end of the hall, behind a door etched with the Black family crest, was the war room.
He waited. Listened. Heard nothing but the ticking of the clock mounted inside the room.
Then he moved.
Quick hands. Quiet steps. His heart was a fist hammering inside his ribs, but his fingers were steady.
The door creaked as it opened.
Inside was exactly as he remembered. The same suffocating darkness. The same oppressive velvet drapes. The same air that felt too thick to breathe.
This was the room in which his father had once graciously sliced his face open because he refused to kill Sirius. A single candle sat atop the low table near the fireplace, its light flickering weakly against the darkness of the room.
“I was wondering when you would decide to pay a visit,” Orion Black spoke, his voice rattling softly.
He didn’t move. Just sat there, fingers steepled under his chin, torso barely visible in the candlelight, his face hidden completely in shadow. Like the light itself refused to reveal him, ashamed of what it might show.
Regulus stepped forward, letting the hem of James’ invisibility cloak slip from his shoulders in one smooth motion. It pooled on the floor like the skin of something freshly killed. His boots echoed once against the stone.
“Father.”
Orion didn’t answer at first. He just tilted his head slightly, the gesture almost animal.
“I would have thought you’d come sooner,” he murmured. “After your little friend met the dirt.”
Regulus’ eyes glittered like glass.
“You mean Peter?”
“Do I?” Orion’s tone was a slow poison. “They blur together, don’t they? All these pawns. So easy to knock down when they forget their place.”
“Careful,” Regulus said mildly. “If you keep devaluing the people who die for you, you might end up running out.”
Orion’s mouth twitched, but no smile came.
“I know you sent the Death Eater into the forest,” he said calmly, taking another step further. “To kill James.”
Silence. Not the silence of ignorance, but the silence of a man weighing his next lie.
“I know everything now,” Regulus went on, his voice turning almost bored. “The way you test the recruits. The way you treat people like figures on a chessboard—numbers, leverage, meat.”
Orion’s fingers tightened slightly.
“What was the grand plan with James?” Regulus tilted his head in mock curiosity. “Kill him, wait for me to shatter, and finally patch me up in your image? Please, enlighten me.”
“You’re talking like your brother now,” Orion said coldly.
“That must sting,” Regulus replied. “Given how much you hate him.”
Orion rose then. The movement, once regal, now looked like an effort. The candlelight slid up his torso, then his throat, and then, finally, his face.
Regulus let out a soft breath, almost a laugh.
“Oh, my, look at you. Is this what passes for the great Orion Black now? You look like a corpse that someone forgot to finish burying.”
Orion, once carved from the pure marble of bloodline and power, now looked waxy and sunken. His skin had gone almost grey, slick with a sheen of cold sweat, while his lips were dry and cracked. The gleam in his eye, that usual glint of control, of derision, had dulled, replaced with something hazy. Desperate. There was a faint, wet sound behind every inhale, like something was sloshing in his lungs.
“You don’t look very well, Father,” Regulus said lightly, tilting his head like a child peering at a broken insect. “Fever? Curse? Or just, and this is my personal wild guess, the consequences of your own filth finally catching up to you?”
Orion took one step forward, and his leg buckled slightly. He caught himself, but Regulus noticed.
“Careful,” he said, smiling maliciously. “Would be a shame if you collapsed before I finished talking.”
“You ungrateful little bastard—” Orion snarled, voice rising, splintering.
“Oh, don’t bother with names. You’ve never been good at them anyway,” Regulus cut in, stepping closer. “You had one job as a father. One. To protect your sons. But you carved Sirius out of your legacy the moment he didn’t match your pompous blueprint, and you’ve been trying to carve me into your replacement puppet ever since. Tell me, how does it feel? To realize I’ve never belonged to you?”
Orion’s lip curled, but Regulus was already stepping forward into the candlelight, his eyes not leaving his father for a second.
“You are my son,” Orion hissed.
“No,” Regulus said, smiling faintly. “I’m the curse in your bloodline. The knife you forged without realizing it was pointed at you.”
The flicker of fear in Orion’s eyes was brief, but Regulus saw it. And Merlin curse his little black heart if he didn't savor it like fine wine.
“I know about the Horcruxes,” Regulus whispered. “I know how to destroy them, and to be fully honest with you, I already did that with one. Why do you think I vanished? I also know why your precious Lord is currently missing. You thought you were the clever one. You thought you understood how power works.” He leaned forward, voice like ice. “You forget, Father, that I was born and raised in the shadows you created. And unfortunately for you, I learned to see better in the dark than you ever could.”
Orion’s breath rattled in his throat. Regulus could hear it now—wet and ragged, like something inside him had started to loosen.
“I should kill you where you stand,” Orion hissed, but even his voice sounded thinner than usual. It was missing the weight, the steel. It sounded… dead.
“You could try,” Regulus offered with mock generosity. “But let’s be honest. I don’t think you’d make it three steps.”
He was close now. Close enough to feel the heat rolling off his father’s fevered skin. Close enough to see how hard he was working to stay upright.
“You’re not a god,” Regulus murmured. “Not even a king. You're just a sick old man sitting on a throne of bones, praying no one notices the smell.”
Orion staggered back slightly and blinked hard, as if trying to clear his vision. His eyes darted to the glass of firewhiskey on the table, then to the decanter beside it.
The same decanter that he used each and every night.
Regulus didn’t move. He just watched and let the moment stretch.
And slowly, like ink spreading through clear water, realization dawned across Orion’s face.
First came confusion.
Then the flicker of understanding.
Then horror.
“No,” he said, barely a whisper.
Regulus tilted his head, a sardonic smile spreading all over his face.
“Yes.”
Orion reached for the decanter, his hand trembling. He held the glass to the candlelight. The faint shimmer. The opalescent slick. The thickness that wasn’t there before.
“Didn’t I do well, Father?” Regulus asked softly, almost sweetly. “You always told me to be clever. To be ruthless. I’m both now. Because of you. In spite of you.”
“What have you done?” Orion rasped.
Regulus stepped back toward the door, not turning his back, eyes still locked on his father’s face.
“Basilisk venom,” Regulus added casually. “Slow, beautiful death. Creeps into your bloodstream and slowly devours you from the inside. You feel it eating you, don't you? Like your lungs are drowning. Like your bones are softening. The price of ambition, isn't it?”
Orion staggered back, catching the chair. His knees shook.
“Think of me while you choke, will you?” Regulus said pleasantly. “You always said I was your prized heirloom.”
He stepped back toward the door, never breaking eye contact.
“You should rest,” he said gently. “You look like you’re running out of time.”
He bent, picked up the cloak, and pulled it over his head, disappearing back into the shadows.
His footsteps were soundless as he moved through the quiet halls with a calm that bordered on clinical. No adrenaline, no triumph. Just precision. Like something had clicked neatly into place inside him. Like the final note of a symphony had been struck and left the air ringing.
Barty was still there, curled up in the same sunken armchair by the fire, cigarette balanced between two fingers.
“You’re two minutes late,” Barty said.
Regulus shut the door behind him with a soft click. “I got carried away. Had a heart-to-heart with my Father. Really touching.”
“I hope you also decided to do some light embroidery together. You look well, so I'll make a wild assumption that everything went smoothly.”
“Obviously,” Regulus said simply.
Barty's eyes flicked across Regulus’ face like he was searching for blood, or maybe regret. He didn’t find either.
“Well, I guess dearest Mommy is happy that she is no longer alone downstairs,” he said, voice rough with smoke and something more brittle underneath. “Go back to bed, before your Gryffindor wakes up every fucking soul in this tower because you’re not under him.”
Regulus made a small, amused sound.
“You’re awfully invested in my sleeping arrangements.”
“I’m invested in getting more than three hours of uninterrupted sleep in my life,” Barty replied. “If that means shoving you back into Potter’s dick, so be it.”
Regulus flipped him off and moved past him silently and up the stairs. When he pushed open the door, the room was still. The candle on the nightstand was long gone.
Regulus padded across the room, shedding the rest of his clothes with methodical slowness, folding the cloak and placing it under the bed. He pulled his shirt off last, skin humming faintly with residual cold.
He slid into bed as quietly as he could, but James shifted almost immediately, blindly reaching for him the way he always did. His arm looped around Regulus’ waist automatically, making Regulus smile.
“Where were you?” he mumbled, voice rough with sleep, that low, gravelly timbre that made Regulus’ stomach tighten.
Regulus let out a breath and pressed his forehead to James’ collarbone.
“Had some things to solve.”
James made a soft sound, half acknowledgment, half question, but he didn’t press. His palm settled at the small of Regulus’ back, thumb drawing idle circles that made heat pool low in his stomach.
Regulus closed his eyes and hummed.
“I love you, you know?” James whispered, voice still groggy, lips brushing against Regulus’ temple.
Regulus let the silence stretch just a second too long. He nuzzled into James’ throat, dragging his nose across the warm skin there, and murmured against his pulse, “Mm. I figured.”
James huffed a laugh, but Regulus could feel the frown pulling at his mouth. He rolled, deliberately slow, until James was flat beneath him. His thigh slid between James’, pressing just enough to make him inhale sharply. His hands slipped under the loose hem of James’ shirt, palms finding bare skin and mapping it with lazy precision.
He pressed an open-mouthed kiss along James’ jaw, lingering, then another, just under his ear where he knew the heat would spike.
“You’ve told me forty-seven times this week,” Regulus drawled, voice low and teasing. “Six of them in your sleep. Ten, while I was biting you. Twenty while you were inside me. And a few more when I smiled at you like a harlot under the cloak.”
“Don’t call yourself that,” James muttered, voice barely above a breath, but he was already arching slightly into him. Regulus felt the shift, the tension building like a livewire between their chests.
Regulus’ mouth curved.
“Oh, come on. You love it when I’m shameless.”
He shifted again, slower this time, dragging his body down along James’ until he was straddling his hips. The weight of him, the heat, the bare skin were enough to make James groan softly, his hands coming up to grip at Regulus’ waist under the sheets.
“You missed me,” Regulus whispered, mock-pouting. His hair fell over one eye as he leaned down. “You get so fucking needy when I’m not here. It's really endearing.”
“I’m going to kill Crouch,” James muttered, his hands squeezing tighter. “He’s putting too many ideas in your head.”
“This one’s mine,” Regulus said, leaning forward until his lips brushed James’ ear. “Every filthy thought. Every way I’m about to make you beg.”
James’ breath caught, and Regulus felt the ripple of tension run through him.
He kissed him then, slow at first. Teasing. A press of lips and breath and nothing more. But James wasn’t half-asleep anymore. He chased it—bit Regulus’ bottom lip until Regulus opened for him, exhaling sharply through his nose as the kiss deepened. Tongues tangled. Teeth scraped. James’ fingers dug bruises into Regulus’ sides.
James fisted a hand in his hair, tugging his head back just enough to force their eyes to meet.
“Tell me where you were.”
Regulus’ smirk deepened. “No.”
“Do I really need to coax the answers out of you?” James murmured, and Regulus lowered himself on him, a moan escaping his throat.
“You could fuck them out of me,” Regulus whispered over his lips, voice slow and wicked.
James’ grip tightened in his hair, and wrenched Regulus’ head back just enough to bare the elegant line of his throat. Just enough to force his gaze up, eyes locked, breaths shared. For a moment, neither of them moved. James stared into Regulus like he could rip the truth straight from his bones.
“You are the worst,” James breathed, but his voice had dropped low and dangerous, sending shivers down Regulus’ spine. “The absolute fucking worst.”
His mouth curved slowly, deliberately, the kind of smirk that came from knowing exactly how to ruin a man, his body rising and falling, deliberately slow.
“And yet,” he murmured, lips curling, “you’re still underneath me.”
The growl that ripped from James’ throat was half frustration, half desire. I was a raw sound that cut through the space between them. He rolled his hips up, hard and deliberate, and Regulus gasped, eyes fluttering close for the briefest moment before snapping open again—hungry, glittering, eager to take the challenge.
James leaned in until his lips brushed Regulus’ ear, voice dropping to a rasp that barely qualified as a whisper.
“You really think you can distract me with this?”
“I don’t think,” Regulus said, lips brushing his cheek as he spoke, “I know.”
“Arrogant bastard.”
Regulus’ grin widened, sharp and lazy all at once.
“You love it.”
And then James was kissing him again, harder this time, with no softness left. It was teeth and tongue and possession, the kind of kiss that didn’t ask, only took. Regulus arched above him, hands gripping James’ shoulders, nails dragging hard over his chest because he wanted him to feel it. Wanted to leave something behind.
James bit his throat hard enough to sting, then soothed it with his tongue.
“You taste like sin,” he murmured against his skin.
“And you keep coming back for more,” Regulus rasped, breath catching as his hand slid lower, under the sheet, palm pressing down between them.
In one seamless motion, James flipped them, pressing Regulus down, pinning both wrists above his head with one hand. The other gripped his waist, holding him still. His weight settled heavily on top, inescapable and possessive. Regulus opened his mouth as the sudden press of James’ body was heavier than it had any right to be.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” James said, voice guttural now, hips already grinding down, hot and maddening.
Regulus used that moment to slide one leg around his waist, pulling him closer, deeper, until there was no space left between them. He dragged his lips along James’ neck, biting just hard enough to mark.
“You want the truth?” he whispered. “I went somewhere I shouldn’t have. I did something I’ve been planning since I was sixteen.” His mouth brushed James’ temple, then lower. “And now I’m here. Still breathing. Still yours. So tell me, James, are you going to interrogate me like a good little Gryffindor, or are you going to fuck me so hard I forget my own name?”
For one, precarious second, James didn’t move. His breath hitched. Something in him clenched. And then he kissed Regulus like he wanted to tear him apart.
They moved together like violence disguised as worship. Hands skimming ribs, gripping hips, holding tight. Regulus met him with equal heat, equal ferocity. Bruises bloomed. Scars were kissed. Every touch was edged with history and hunger, with all the things they wouldn’t say aloud.
It was messy and bruising and real.
Regulus didn’t say another word. He let himself be undone in silence, let James trace the pieces of him like he did every time.
And when it was over, when sweat cooled between them and James lay half on top of him, breathing heavy against his throat, Regulus stared up at the ceiling, eyes wide open, his arm tracing slow lines up and down his spine
James shifted, his voice a whisper against Regulus’ collarbone. “Reg?”
“Mmm?”
“I love you. That would make it the forty-eighth time.”
Regulus let out a quiet laugh, lips brushing his hair. “I love you too.”
The summons came at dawn, Voldemort's voice not spoken but felt, vibrating from the stone itself.
He did not need to shout. He only needed to speak, and the world bent to him.
“All are to gather in the Great Hall. Now.”
No space for defiance, or time to even question his command. The words slithered into Regulus’ mind like ice water, burrowing past skin and sinew, anchoring themselves in the deepest part of him that still remembered fear.
He was already rising before he realized it, already pulling the sleeves over his wrists, already standing. His body moved on instinct, as if Voldemort himself had taken a string and tugged it taut. In the corridor, the castle’s air had become tight and sterile. No sound from the walls. No murmurs from portraits. No low thrum of magic under the stone.
Footsteps joined his. He didn’t look, but he knew from the cadence who was matching his stride.
“You think they’re suspecting something?” Barty asked in a voice pitched low.
“We would already be dead if that was the case,” Regulus said, eyes fixed ahead.
The doors of the Great Hall stood open like gaping jaws. Inside, the air was clotted with something acrid that burned the back of Regulus’ throat.
He stepped over the threshold and saw Sirius freeze at his right as he took in what was displayed in front of him.
Orion Black lay stretched out on the table like an offering, nothing more than a relic displayed for worship. A black velvet shroud had been laid beneath him, but it did nothing to soften the obscenity of it. His arms were limp at his sides, hands pale and empty. His eyes were closed, but Regulus could still see their sharpness under the lids. There was a neat line of dried blood trailing from the corner of Orion’s mouth and a faint sheen of sweat still clinging to his temple. They might have cleaned the body, but the reek of death behind was still there, no matter how thoroughly it was scrubbed.
It was almost beautiful, in its cruelty.
Almost artistic.
He heard someone behind him gag. A young Death Eater, perhaps. Regulus couldn’t understand how someone could possibly choose this side if they gagged at the sight of a corpse. Not even a mutilated one, for fuck’s sake.
Pathetic.
Regulus looked around the room. Voldemort was not yet around, but his presence blanketed the hall—dense and suffocating, like drowning in still air.
He felt no grief. What bloomed inside him wasn’t sadness.
But pure, unfiltered satisfaction.
The corners of his mouth twitched—so subtle it could’ve been mistaken for a spasm or a moment of nausea.
But Regulus knew better. He’d been waiting for this image for years.
He had been sixteen, small, quiet, obedient, bent under his father’s voice like a sapling under constant wind. In the privacy of his own mind, he had pictured Orion laid low—not old and withered by time, but struck down. Humiliated.
And now here he was, grey and empty, dressed like a corpse they hadn’t had time to mourn. Brought up by the very blade that he sharpened for years in his own household.
Sirius stood as if he’d been carved from stone, breath held tight in his chest. His expression had collapsed into something unreadable: a grim liminality between shock and a vicious, unspeakable satisfaction that had no right surfacing now, and especially not here.
But it did. It leaked through the edges of his composure like blood through linen. He stared at the remnants of the man who had once ruled their lives with quiet, choking dominion.
Then Bellatrix broke.
The sound that tore out of her wasn’t human. It ripped through the thick air like a banshee’s dirge, a jagged wail that made Regulus flinch despite himself. She lunged forward, knocking over a chair in her frenzy, claws tangling in her matted hair, wand sparking erratically as she shrieked into the hall like a wounded beast.
“Who—who did this?!” she howled, spittle flying. “I’ll flay them alive! I’ll gut them open and feed their entrails to Nagini—I’ll make them beg—”
At the opposite end of the hall, Narcissa was crumbling in silence. Her sobs were muffled against Lucius’ chest, her small body folded, fragile in a way she rarely allowed herself to be. Lucius, for once, didn’t seem to care who saw. His arms circled her tightly, jaw clenched hard enough to creak, his eyes scanning the room like a man counting exits in a burning house.
Around them, the Death Eaters had begun to shift. The whispers passed like sparks between dry grass. They were watching each other now, suspicion creeping in, the unspoken question crackling beneath their skin:
Who did it?
Who had killed one of their own?
Not a nameless soldier. Not a blood-traitor or a half blood. But Orion Black.
There was blood in the water now.
And then—he arrived.
Voldemort stepped from the shadows like a phantom peeling through the veil. There was no fanfare, no sudden wind or flash of light. Just the creeping, oppressive knowledge that the room had become smaller in his presence, the air pressed thin and hard against their lungs. His robes pooled around him, and his face, twisted and inhuman, was as unreadable as ancient stone.
He paused beside Orion’s corpse, studying it with clinical indifference. Not a trace of rage or sorrow in sight. Only the still, meticulous calculation of a man examining a broken instrument, weighing whether it had served its purpose before it snapped.
His gaze lifted then, slow and deliberate. Red eyes swept the room like knives grazing over skin.
From across the room, Cassiopeia’s gaze found Regulus.
Don’t do something foolish.
Perhaps this was what ruthlessness truly was—not fury, not madness, but the cold, still certainty that the chaos you had sown was necessary. That the death you had delivered was… correct.
Orion had been an obstruction. A keystone in a crumbling arch. His existence had held too much weight over Regulus’ choices, over their rebellion, over his own mind. His legacy was a curse dressed up as nobility—his ideology, poison disguised as duty.
And now, at last, that pillar had fallen.
His death wasn’t a victory.
It wasn’t just revenge.
This was the board shifting. Another piece moved.
Sirius finally tore his gaze away from the corpse laid out like a desecrated idol. His eyes, always so alive with fire and fury, looked strangely dim—bloodshot and damp around the edges, blinking too fast as though he could force the image out of his skull.
"Reggie—" he choked out, voice raw, rasping.
“Keep your head low,” Regulus murmured, his voice barely a thread of breath. “Now’s not the time.”
Sirius nodded once, but his hands shook.
Good. Let them. A shaking hand could be grief. Could be shock. It could be innocence.
"One of you," the Dark Lord said, and his voice was laced with a cold malice that could have shattered glass. "Has dared to poison my inner circle. Dared to stain this house of mine with weakness."
Bellatrix’ sobs grew louder, at first guttural and breathless, deepened into something jagged and manic. They dragged her body into spasms, her shoulders convulsing as she fell to her knees before the high table like a zealot at the altar of a ruined god. Her grief curdled into fury, teeth bared, and Regulus watched fascinated as madness frothed behind her eyes.
"It was him!" she shrieked, her wild eyes shining with unshed tears and something darker—hysteria mingled with fervour. She turned, pointing a trembling, accusatory finger through the thick press of gathered Death Eaters. "It was Regulus! It reeks of his filth—his treachery!"
And there it was, the beginning of her end.
“He was always soft—always—slinking around in shadows, whispering behind doors, thinking we didn’t see what he was! He’s a rat! He’s turning on us! I know it!”
The room recoiled around her words, as though the accusation itself had weight enough to push the crowd back. Gasps rippled through the hall, a tide of whispers and sharp breaths, as faces turned toward Regulus in quick succession.
Voldemort’s gaze, that searing, unnatural red, swept slowly across the assembly. His eyes tracked the motion of the room like a predator studying a herd. Then, slowly, they fixed on him.
Even then, Regulus did not blink. His pulse, buried deep beneath layers of self-discipline and scar tissue, did not spike. He had trained for this moment. Sharpened himself into a blade too cold to bend, too elegant to break.
“Regulus Black,” Voldemort murmured, and the name felt like a noose tightening around his throat. “Come here.”
He obeyed.
The crowd parted in instinctive deference—not to him, but to the judgment awaiting him. The distance to the centre of the room was not far, but each step rang louder than the last, like the tolling of a bell before an execution. And yet Regulus walked with the stillness of a man already buried.
He kept his chin high. His eyes unreadable. If they wanted to see guilt, they would find none.
If they searched for fear, they would be disappointed.
Inside, the defences rose like clockwork. Mental wards snapped shut with silent finality. Emotion was smothered beneath centuries of breeding, of masks, of training. He had worn the Black name like armour for so long—he had forgotten what vulnerability felt like.
Voldemort turned fully toward him, the folds of his dark robes shifting like a shadow given flesh. His nostrils flared, and his thin lips twisted into a parody of a smile, something too sharp, too predatory to be anything but a warning.
Regulus met his gaze, and then, as if the world around them had slowed to a crawl, his attention slid sideways, back to Bellatrix.
Raving. Wild-eyed. Shaking with the ferocity of someone losing ground and refusing to admit it.
She had made the mistake of accusing without evidence. Of dragging her madness into a chamber that prized order above all things.
And Regulus?
He had only to stand still and let her burn herself to ash.
Because she wouldn’t fall easily. No. Bellatrix Lestrange was a creature of chaos, born from bloodlines and madness, forged in loyalty and pain. But her mind had always been volatile. Fragile beneath the fervour. She believed in the Dark Lord with the kind of blind faith that bordered on sickness.
And the Dark Lord had no use for broken tools.
Regulus didn’t need to destroy her. He only had to make her look unstable.
He bowed his head, not in fear, but deference. Always calculated and polished. A prince of a rotting house.
“My Lord,” he said, voice low and impossibly composed. He felt Bellatrix’ fury behind him like wildfire licking at his heels.
“Look at me,” he commanded, and his voice dropped lower, coiled tight as a serpent ready to strike.
Regulus lifted his chin and obeyed, locking his gaze onto those slitted, glowing eyes that burned with ancient malice.
“Legilimens.”
The invasion struck not as a single blow, but as a crashing, cold tide. An abrupt, merciless wave of saltwater that seemed to pour straight into the marrow of his skull, freezing every nerve it touched. It came with the violence of a riptide, the kind that did not simply pull you under but twisted and tore as it dragged you into its depths, trying to prise open the shell of his mind and sift through whatever spilled out.
Like a scavenger picking apart a carcass.
The force of it bowed his knees. Not enough to collapse him entirely, but enough that he could feel the tendons pull tight, the tremor starting in his calves and climbing upwards in a slow, traitorous shiver. Nausea coiled low in his gut, threatening to rise. A fine tremor ghosted over his limbs, carefully measured and perfectly placed—enough to sell the performance of weakness, but not so much as to suggest true collapse.
He allowed himself to stagger, but never to fall.
And then, when the pressure reached its crest, when it pressed down with such relentless weight that it felt as though his skull might split, he let himself open.
But only in the way he had trained for. Only in the way that served him. The door that swung inward revealed not his true self, but the elaborate architecture he had spent years constructing in anticipation of this very moment. False memories bloomed to the surface like bright, polished coins tossed into dark water. Gilded lies, carefully constructed, each one gleaming with just enough fear and weakness to be convincing. The scent of burning skin. The echo of older voices telling him he would never be strong enough. Snatches of failure, of regret. Of grief.
He showed a version of himself shaped for this interrogation: a frightened boy with a flicker of ambition, always reaching for something just out of grasp. Eager enough to be useful, but too small to ever be a threat. In this carefully chosen mirror, there were no schemes, no poisonings, no cold hands guiding death toward its target. Only vulnerability, tinged with yearning.
The pressure on his mind shifted, sharpened. The presence behind it pressed harder now, probing deeper, the sensation like cold talons dragging themselves along the edges of thought, testing each seam in search of the weak place where it might slip through. It clawed at him for the scent of guilt, for the acrid taste of betrayal, for the stickiness of blood not yet dried.
But his walls did not yield.
And then, just as swiftly as it had come, the pressure snapped away, tearing itself out of his skull like a riptide retreating from the shore and leaving only raw silence in its wake. The taste of iron lingered at the back of his tongue, metallic and bitter, as though the invasion had bled him somewhere deep inside.
Voldemort straightened, his narrow shoulders rolling back. His gaze lingered on Regulus for a fraction too long, the air between them tightening until it felt like a cord pulled taut. In the depths of those crimson eyes, something flickered—not the bright, cruel gleam of triumph, nor the quiet satisfaction of discovery. It was something colder. A sliver of displeasure.
Because he had found nothing.
“Curious,” Voldemort murmured, his voice as soft as a blade’s kiss, sheathed in velvet but no less lethal for its covering. “You’ve grown stronger, little snake.”
The corners of his mouth curved upward in what might have passed for a smile, but it was hollow at its core, the shape of a grin without any of the warmth or joy that might make it human.
“But do not mistake that strength for safety.” His words uncoiled like smoke around Regulus’ throat. “Everyone bleeds.”
Regulus inclined his head, the movement measured down to the millimeter. I was low enough to signal submission, but not to seem crushed.
“Yes, my Lord,” he answered, his voice roughened at the edges. His hands hung loose at his sides, fingers neither curled nor twitching.
And then—
The spell broke.
The room seemed to breathe again, a ragged, collective inhale shuddering through the crowd.
That was when Bellatrix screamed.
“NO!” she shrieked, surging forward like she’d been waiting, coiled and twitching. Her robes flew around her in a snarl of movement, her hair unbound and wild. “No, my Lord, he’s tricking you—he’s lying—you can’t trust him!”
Her voice pitched higher, cracking in places like glass under heat, shattering the thin tension that had settled over the hall. She jabbed a finger toward Regulus as if she could impale him with the sheer force of her hatred.
“It’s him! It has to be! Don’t you see it? He’s soft—he’s always been weak! You’re not seeing it, he’s blinding you—”
“Bellatrix.”
The single word was not shouted.
She kept ranting, heedless, her tears mixing with spit, her eyes gone glassy with the kind of fervour that cracked minds wide open.
“You know I’ve always been loyal—always! But he’s a snake in the nest, he’s poison, I can feel it—I know it—”
“Bellatrix.” This time, the Dark Lord’s voice barely disturbed the air.
It was not louder. It did not need to be louder.
Still, she didn’t stop.
And then he moved.
It was swift, so swift the crowd gasped as one, and his wand was already raised before she had time to blink.
“Crucio.”
The curse did not just strike; it seized. Her scream tore itself into existence with the violence of a body being broken from the inside out. It was not the wild, ecstatic cry she had once taken in wielding the same curse. It was stripped bare of all pleasure, leaving only the serrated edge of pure agony. Her limbs jerked as though every tendon had been plucked at once; her spine arched until it seemed something must snap; her mouth stretched wide around a soundless wail when her breath gave out, leaving her to writhe in choking silence. Her hands clawed uselessly at the flagstones, nails dragging and catching. Her legs kicked, robes twisting around her as if trying to bind her where she lay.
When at last he lifted the curse, she collapsed in on herself, limbs folding in unnatural angles like a marionette with its strings cut.
The silence that followed pressed down heavier than the noise had. Her ragged sobs echoed in it, sounding too much like something small and dying.
Voldemort stepped forward with measured precision, each step deliberate enough to make the watchers count them without realizing it. His shadow reached her before he did, stretching long and skeletal across the floor.
“Do not presume to correct me,” he said, his voice cold enough to burn. “You forgot your place, Bellatrix. Do not presume to think yourself indispensable.”
He turned then, robes whispering across the stone like falling ash. His gaze swept the crowd, lingering on each face just long enough for the skin to prickle, for the breath to catch.
And then back to Regulus, who still stood unmoving and unbroken.
Exactly as planned.
Sirius reached the common room door first and shoved it so hard that it slammed against the wall with a sound like stone grinding on stone, the hinges groaning in protest. The low fire in the grate jumped at the impact, shadows leaping violently across the walls.
Regulus stepped inside, quiet as ever, only to find Sirius already spinning on his heel, eyes dark, jaw tight enough to crack.
“You absolute idiot,” Sirius hissed, the words shaking with the strain of being forced low. It wasn’t a whisper born of caution, but one born of rage barely leashed, his voice raw and splintered at the edges. “You reckless, arrogant—Merlin’s balls, Regulus—what the fuck were you thinking?”
Regulus closed the door behind him with a slow, deliberate click, his back finding the cool stone. His expression didn’t shift. It was too calm for Sirius’ liking.
That composure was gasoline on the fire.
“You planned this,” Sirius went on, stalking closer, every step punctuated by the sharp clap of his boots on the stone. “You sat there and planned this without telling me. You just decided that you’d waltz in, kill him, face Voldemort yourself, and what? Come back here like it’s some kind of bloody game you won?”
Regulus lifted a brow, voice even, almost detached.
“I made a decision. I followed through, and it worked. That’s all.”
Sirius let out a short, incredulous laugh.
“Worked? He tortured Bellatrix in front of the whole fucking room, Reggie. You think that’s a win? You got out of there by a miracle, and you’re calling it working?”
Regulus’ tone didn’t waver.
“He believed me.”
“Did he?” Sirius’ voice climbed, cracking. “Or did he just decide you’re still useful? There’s a difference, Regulus, and you know it.”
The words hit, but Regulus didn’t give him the satisfaction of a flinch. Voldemort had found him useful. He knew it. But hearing it framed that way, cold, transactional, disposable, from Sirius’ mouth put something sour and metallic in his chest.
“You were supposed to keep your head down,” Regulus said coldly, his voice gaining an edge. “That was the whole point.”
“Oh, fuck that,” Sirius snapped, hands curling into fists at his sides. “Don’t you dare dress this up like some noble sacrifice. You wanted to do it alone. You always want to do it alone.”
“Because I can,” Regulus shot back, jaw tight, “and because I have to.”
“That’s not an answer!” Sirius’ voice cracked properly this time, his breath ragged. “That’s your pride talking. That’s you, doing what you’ve always done—shutting everyone out and pretending you’re the only one who can survive the weight of it.”
“You think anyone would’ve let you get close enough to try?” Regulus’ tone was knife-sharp now. “You don’t even know where his suite was.”
“I could have helped—”
“No.” The word was quick, clean, final. “You would have gotten in the way. Rabastan kept the Death Eaters occupied. The wards allowed only one person through at a time. Trust me, Sirius, there was no other way.”
Sirius stepped forward until they were nearly chest to chest, his eyes blazing.
“You were always selfish, Reggie. But this?” His voice went low, vicious. “This is fucking madness.”
“Selfish?” Regulus let out a brittle, humourless laugh. “That’s rich coming from you.”
Barty, who had been leaning idly against the arm of one of the chairs, straightened just enough to slip between them, his expression a practiced mask of calm.
“Enough,” he drawled, like they were squabbling over whose turn it was to sit by the fire. “If you two are done having a family meltdown in the common room like a pair of Squibs, maybe we can go back to the fact that there’s still a war going on.”
Sirius turned his fury on him instantly, disbelief in every line of his face.
“You! You knew.”
“Of course, I knew. I made sure he came back breathing,” Barty said, voice smooth, a hand resting on Regulus’ shoulder like an unspoken claim. “So maybe cool your Gryffindor theatrics before you wake the whole fucking castle.”
“You’re not helping,” Regulus muttered, half a groan.
“I’m not trying to,” Barty replied, his smirk flickering, equal parts insolent and unreadable. “I’m stating a fact. Everything was under control.”
“That’s where you went last night?”
The voice came from behind them—quiet, too quiet.
James stood near the far end of the room, his expression shadowed in the low firelight. His eyes weren’t blazing like Sirius’, but there was something worse in them. They were red-rimmed, the kind of red that didn’t come from rage but from hours spent thinking, replaying.
Even Barty’s smirk faltered, his posture going still.
Regulus’ breath caught. His mouth opened, but no words came. Not right away.
That voice—that tone—wasn't one he knew. Not the sharp James, the loud James, the relentless James. This one was soft, dull around the edges, worn from the inside out. This one had already been sitting with the ache.
It sounded like heartbreak.
“James—” Regulus stepped toward him, his tone changing instantly, all sharpness stripped away, careful now, fragile.
James shook his head once. Not harshly. Not with the dramatic finality Sirius might have given. Just a single, quiet movement.
He walked away then, quick and too light-footed, the way people move when they’re determined not to let anyone see them stumble. He didn’t slam the dormitory door. He just closed it, softly. Somehow, that was worse.
“Well,” Barty muttered into the brittle silence, “I can’t help you with that one.”
But Regulus barely heard him.
His eyes were still fixed on the stairs James had taken, the space now empty but carrying the echo of his leaving. The hollow in his chest was deep and slow-burning, a dull ache that surprised him with its weight. It wasn’t guilt, but the look James had given him, just before turning away. Not anger. Not even accusation.
Just hurt.
And that burned more than Voldemort’s gaze ever could.
Because James had only ever asked for one thing from him, and that was the truth. And Regulus had gone into the dark again, alone, hands full of secrets and poison, and left him behind.
Notes:
RIP Orion, you would’ve loved “Parenting for Dummies” 🙏
Also, the hate club still stands; we just need to find another subject. Bellatrix? Lucius? Voldy is too predictable
Chapter 26: Fractures
Summary:
Helloo everyoneee 😌
Starting with chapter 27, you'll see that the endnotes will be a bit longer than usual. That's because I will be explaining the connection between the title and the main idea of the chapter. They are all inspired by Greek Mythology, so pls bear with me 😭
I reread them last night and ngl, I’m kinda proud of how they turned out, and now I’m dying to know what you think. So go wild in the comments 💕
Notes:
"Dondante" - My Morning Jacket
"Ballad of NGB" - Stateless
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus didn’t bother knocking at his own door. He just stood there for a moment, his palm pressed to the wood, breathing in through his nose as if steeling himself for a duel.
It felt like walking into a battlefield, and in many ways, he was.
James sat on the edge of the bed, elbows braced on his knees, face buried in his hands. He didn’t look up when Regulus entered. Just sat there, like stone, as though he’d already made peace with something Regulus hadn’t caught up to yet.
Regulus hovered in the doorway, one hand still resting on the doorknob. He didn’t know what he’d expected. Shouting, maybe, accusations, but this stillness made everything worse. Far worse.
“James,” he said, low and careful.
Nothing.
Regulus stepped in fully, closing the door behind him. He moved carefully, like he might spook him, like James was something fragile and flighty that might shatter if he got too close.
But James didn’t run. Didn’t even look at him.
“Why did you come?” he asked quietly, not even bothering to lift his head.
The question wasn’t laced with cruelty, but it was distant. Frayed around the edges. Exhausted. Not of him, but because of him.
“Because I owe you an explanation.”
“No,” James said, lifting his head finally, his eyes bloodshot and ringed in shadows. “You owe me a lot more than that.”
Regulus froze. His fingers had just brushed the edge of the bedpost, but now they curled tight around it. His throat tightened.
“I needed to do it,” he said, and it sounded pathetic even to his own ears.
James gave a sharp, humourless laugh that cut straight through the air.
“That’s always the excuse, isn’t it? You needed to. You didn’t have a choice. Like everything you do is some terrible, noble sacrifice, and I’m just—what? A warm body you crawl into bed with when it’s done?”
“It’s not like that, and you know it,” Regulus bit back, but there was no real force behind it.
“Do I?” James shot back, standing up so suddenly the bed creaked behind him. His hands were shaking, his breath ragged with emotion that had nowhere to go. “You left me in this bed, Regulus. Right here, while you walked out the door to kill someone. Without a word. Like it was nothing.”
Regulus’ throat tightened.
“It wasn’t just someone.”
“Don’t,” James said, jabbing a finger toward him. “Don’t act like murdering your father earns you moral points. I don’t care who it was. You still went alone. You still didn’t trust me enough to know.”
“I wasn’t trying to shut you out.”
“No?” James laughed again, but it was wrecked this time. “Then what the fuck were you doing? You keep walking into hell like you’re supposed to. Like it’s your purpose. You did the same with your last raid. With that fucking trap last month. Every time, you just go. And I—I’m just supposed to lie here, counting the hours, wondering if the next time I see you will be your corpse.”
Regulus looked down, throat working like he was trying to swallow something too jagged to go down cleanly.
“I’m not asking you to wait for me,” he said, quietly.
“No. You’re not.” James’s voice broke open. “You never asked me for anything. You won’t let me in. You won’t tell me when you’re hurting. You won’t tell me when you’re planning to do something reckless and suicidal. You just—leave. And you look at me like I’m some sweet, stupid thing you can’t bear to break.”
Regulus stepped forward, the bed between them no longer feeling like a safe barrier.
“That’s not what you are.”
“Then what am I?” James’ voice rose, ragged and desperate. “Because I need to know, Regulus. I need to fucking know what I am to you.”
The silence that followed was a punch to the gut. Regulus opened his mouth, but no words came.
“Because I love you.” James’ voice cracked like a whip, and his hands curled into fists at his sides. “I fucking love you. And I watched you standing in front of Voldemort today, and I swear to Merlin, I thought he was going to kill you. I thought I was going to watch you die, and I couldn’t do anything.”
The last words disintegrated into something raw. He swiped at his face with the back of his sleeve like the tears were a betrayal.
Regulus closed his eyes. Like if he didn’t look, it wouldn’t hurt as much.
James ran both hands through his hair, pacing now, too much emotion to be still.
“You don’t know what that dread feels like,” he said, voice raw, pitched low like it hurt to speak louder. “You don’t know what it’s like to love someone who keeps throwing himself into the fire and calling it strategy. To scream silently because you can’t follow, because you’re not allowed to help. Because he won’t let you.”
Regulus stepped closer.
“You don’t understand—”
“No, you don’t understand!” James snapped, spinning on him, eyes wild and bloodshot. “I’ve given everything to you. Every piece of me. And you still keep me at arm’s length like I’m some liability you can’t afford.”
Regulus opened his mouth, then shut it again, jaw tightening. His eyes slipped sideways, anywhere but James’.
“I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“I don’t need protecting for fucks sake, I need you!” James shouted, stepping forward until they were inches apart. “All of you. Not just the pieces left after every war you fight. Not the scraps. Not the hollowed-out version of you that crawls back from another near-death and pretends it doesn’t hurt.”
His hands shot out, grabbing Regulus by the front of his shirt—not violently, but desperately, grounding himself with the feel of him. Holding on like it was the only thing left.
“Safe doesn’t mean away from you, Regulus. Safe doesn’t mean alone.” James whispered fiercely, “I’m not some fragile thing. I’ve fought beside you. I’ve bled beside you. I’m not scared of the blood or the danger or your darkness. But I am fucking terrified that one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone, and I’ll have nothing but silence and unanswered questions. I don’t want a version of you that only exists when the knives are put away”.
Regulus looked at him, eyes wide and hollow.
“I don’t have another version,” he whispered. “There’s nothing left when the knives are put away, James.”
James blinked, the words landing like a slap. His chest heaved, as if the air had been punched out of him.
“You don’t even hear yourself, do you?” he whispered.
Then, suddenly, his hands dropped. He took a step back like he needed space to breathe, or maybe to stop himself from breaking apart completely.
“I’m not asking you to stop fighting. I’m not asking you to be someone else. I’m asking you to let me in. Let me carry some of this. Because I swear to fucking Merlin, if you die—if you die and I never get to say everything I want to say, never get to see you free of this—”
His words caught in his throat. He pressed his palms to his eyes, choking on the sound.
“I won’t survive it. I won’t. I already feel like I’m too much for you. Like every time I need more, I push you further away. But I can’t stop needing you. I won’t stop.”
Regulus’ throat worked, his whole body motionless but for the tremor at the corner of his mouth.
“I don’t know how to need someone,” he said, and the words fell like a confession.
He dropped his gaze to the floor, ashamed.
“I never learned how. My mother taught me to lie. My father taught me to hide. No one ever showed me how to let someone love me without using it as a weapon. Everything I touch turns into a shield or a knife. That’s how I survived.”
James’ breath shook as he lowered his hands.
“I hear you,” Regulus said, and there was grief in it, real and sharp. “I see you. And it’s breaking my heart, James. But you don’t understand. The second trial is coming. This isn’t just high-stakes—it’s everything. If I fail, if I falter for even a second… It’s not just me. It’s you. It’s Sirius. It’s everyone.”
James’ jaw clenched.
“That’s exactly the point, Regulus!” he snapped, voice ricocheting off the stone walls. “We’re already on borrowed time. I’ve spent years imagining this—wanting this. Fucking dreaming of having you. And now I finally do, and you think I’m just going to step back and watch you throw yourself headfirst into death like it’s some kind of fucking penance?”
“I’m acting like someone who knows what happens if I don’t finish this.”
James turned away again, hands in his hair, pacing like a man trapped in his own skin.
“You think I don’t know what’s at stake? You think I don’t feel it every time I look at Sirius, or Remus, or you? We’re all living on the edge, Reggie. Every second. I’m scared, too.”
He turned back around, his voice softer now, but not weaker. Just full of something deeper. Grief. Hope. Love. All of them mangled together and bleeding.
“I just wanted someone to hold onto while the world collapses.”
Regulus froze. The words pierced something deep, something he’d locked away so long he didn’t even know it was still there. His lips parted, his eyes wide.
“You have me,” he said at last, voice fragile, cracking at the edges. “You do.”
James turned on him, eyes blazing with anguish.
“Do I? Because it doesn’t feel like I do. It feels like I get scraps. Moments. Pieces of you that aren’t chained to this war you’ve nailed yourself to.”
His voice cracked, but he didn’t stop.
“You let me kiss you, fuck you, sleep next to you, but I don’t get your fear. Your grief. Your truth. You save that for Barty.”
Regulus’ eyes flickered, just a moment, but James saw it.
He let out a harsh, bitter laugh.
“Yeah. I noticed. The way he’s always near you, always watching you like he’s waiting to catch you if you fall. The way he talks to you like you’re not just his friend, but something his. Like you belong to him.”
“You’re being irrational,” Regulus said, voice cool, but his shoulders tightened.
“Irrational?” James’ voice was sharp, almost wild. “No. I’m being jealous, Regulus. And I fucking hate it. I hate that it crawls under my skin, that it makes me feel like I’m clawing at the edges of something I’m not even sure I’m allowed to hold.”
Regulus opened his mouth, but James barreled forward, words spilling like they’d been dammed up for too long.
“I see the way you look at him. The way you let him talk to you like he knows every sharp corner of you—like he earned it. And maybe he did, I don’t know. But I’m the one you come home to, aren’t I? Or is this not home for you?”
“You are,” Regulus said quickly—too quickly, his voice almost breaking. “You are home.”
“Then why does he still get pieces of you that I don’t?” James asked, brokenly. “Why do I hear him say things like, ‘I made sure nothing happened to him,’ or ‘I took care of it’—like I’m some stranger watching from the edge of your life, not the man who loves you?”
“You’re not,” Regulus said, strained.
“No. I’m just the idiot who fell in love with someone who keeps their heart in a box and hands it out in rations.”
Regulus flinched, his jaw tightening.
“He’s—Barty is—” He faltered, then pushed the words out. “It’s not what you think.”
“Then what the fuck is it? Because from where I’m standing, he gets your past, your plans, your nightmares. I get affection. I get the version of you that tries not to bleed all over the sheets. And I’m not ungrateful for it, I’m starving for it, but it feels like I’m loving you with my hands tied behind my back.”
“There hasn’t been anything between me and Barty since Hogwarts,” Regulus said firmly. “It was brief. Messy and complicated. But it ended. Years ago.”
James’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“But he still knows you better.”
“No,” Regulus said, immediately. Then, softer, “He knows different things. Things I don’t talk about anymore. Things I can’t talk about without dragging the whole room into the dark with me.”
“You think I can’t handle that?” James asked, eyes wide, hurt. “You think I can’t take the weight?”
“No, I think you shouldn’t have to!” Regulus snapped, his voice rising at last as he met James’ gaze head-on. “I think you deserve something that isn’t a slow, hollow undoing. You’re supposed to be the light, James. You were born for it. You shouldn’t have to drown in my shadows to love me.”
“But I already am drowning,” James said, stepping closer, his voice wrecked. “Don’t you get it? I’ve been drowning since the moment I realized I loved you, and I did it willingly. I chose this. I chose you.”
Regulus’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“I know Barty still owns some part of you,” James continued, voice quieter now, achingly raw. “Maybe not your body. Maybe not even your heart. But the way you trust him with the darkest parts of yourself—I see it. And I want that. I want all of you. Even the pieces you think are too fucked up to hand over.”
Regulus took a step closer, his voice softer now, edged in something painful.
“He doesn’t own me, James. I care about him, but he’s a brother in arms, not a lover. And you—you’re not war. You’re home.”
James’ lips parted slightly, uncertainty flickering in the lines of his face.
“Then stop locking the door.”
Regulus reached for him, slowly, cautiously, like he was approaching something sacred. His fingers brushed against James’s knuckles, and James didn’t pull away.
“I’m trying,” Regulus said. “I swear I’m trying.”
James’s eyes filled again, but this time there was no anger, only exhaustion and desperate need.
“You have to try harder,” he said, voice quiet but shaking. “Because I’m not made for half-measures, Regulus. I feel too much. I want too much. And if I’m always going to be watching you bleed for this cause, wondering if you’ll come back to me—if I’m always going to be second to your grief, to your guilt, to everything—then tell me now. Please. Tell me now so I can figure out how to live with loving someone who was never going to be mine completely.”
Regulus inhaled sharply, the weight of James’ words slamming into the hollow space he’d always kept sealed. It felt like being struck. Like someone had found the exact fault line running through him and split it wide open.
His fingers tightened around James’ like a reflex. When he finally looked up again, something in his face had changed. The cold mask had cracked. And underneath—was terror. Not of war. Not of death. But of this.
Of love.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, voice trembling with the weight of too many years of silence. “I don’t know how to be… whole with someone. I’ve spent my entire life preparing for it to be over. For the fall. For the burn. Every decision I’ve made, every lie, every fight I’ve picked—I made them like I wasn’t going to survive long enough to regret them.”
James didn’t speak. He didn’t even breathe too loudly. He just listened. And it was the way he listened, like every syllable mattered, like he mattered.
“I thought this would be temporary,” he said. “I thought we would be temporary. Something fleeting. A stolen moment before everything ends. Because how could someone like you ever stay with someone like me?”
He let out a sound that might have been a laugh, if it hadn’t been so bitter. So aching.
James’ jaw clenched, but he didn’t interrupt. His hand just curled around Regulus’.
“But you keep staying,” Regulus whispered. “You stay when I’m cruel. You stay when I shut you out. You stay even when it hurts. And I didn’t know how to carry that. I didn’t know how to believe in it.”
He stepped forward again. Closer now. And when his hand came up to James’ face, it was gentle. Like worship. Like reverence. Like someone who’d spent their life trying to avoid believing in gods, only to realize they’d been praying to the same name for years.
“But I want to try,” Regulus said, the words trembling out of him. “I want to believe in this. In you. In us. Not just as something we cling to in the dark, but as something we build. I want this life with you. And all the other lives that come after. I want to end this war, yes, but I also want every day I never let myself imagine. I want mornings where you burn the toast and laugh about it. Nights where we fall asleep tangled together and wake up sore but happy. I want arguments over nothing, and kisses for no reason, and you, always you, waiting for me on the other side of every storm.”
James’ breath shuddered, shaky, as if the force of the confession had stolen air from his lungs.
“I want the ugly days too,” Regulus said, his voice cracking now, raw. “The days when I’m too quiet and you’re too loud. The days when I can’t stand myself, and you make me look anyway. The days I forget how to be soft, and you remind me. I want every messy, terrifying, beautiful part of this life with you. Because you’re not just the boy I love. You’re the man I want to stay for.”
James made a sound then, half-sob, half-laugh, and his hand reached for Regulus’ wrist, grounding him, trembling.
“I want forever,” Regulus said, and tears burned sharp behind his eyes. “I didn’t think I’d ever want that. I didn’t think I’d get that. But I do now. With you. Only you. No one else. Not ever again.”
James looked at him, and Regulus swore he saw everything reflected back in his eyes. All the longing. All the love. The unbearable weight of wanting too much. And underneath it all, there was fear.
“I love you so much it makes me feel like I’m coming undone. Like if I lose you, I’ll fall so far I won’t know how to climb back,” James whispered, his voice ragged, stripped bare
“You won’t,” Regulus said, forehead pressing against his. “You won’t lose me. I’m yours. Not just in secret. Not just in pieces. I’m choosing you. In this world and in every one that comes after.”
James' arms wrapped around Regulus, and he held him like he could stitch them together with just his grip.
“You promise?” he asked. And his voice was soft, younger somehow, stripped of bravado, stripped of the leader he always had to be. He was just James now. Just a man with his heart in his hands. “I need you to let me be your equal. Not your shadow. Not your burden. Not your distraction. I need to be in this with you.”
Regulus nodded into the warm curve of his neck, voice muffled but steady. “I promise. No more masks. No more locked doors. Just us. All of it. Forever.”
And when Regulus finally pulled back to look at him, he smiled. Small. Tentative. But real. The kind of smile that looked like it had been waiting years to find its way out. The kind of smile that belonged to someone who had finally stopped looking over his shoulder. Who could finally see a future and not flinch from it.
And when James kissed him, it wasn’t frantic. It wasn’t desperate. It wasn’t the kind of kiss born of fear or hunger.
It was slow. Certain.
A seal.
A vow.
A beginning.
And for the first time, Regulus Black didn’t feel like a boy born into death.
He felt like a man who had something—someone—to live for.
The light was thin and grey when Regulus woke, bleeding softly through the cracked shutters like the world itself hadn’t quite decided if it was worth getting them out of bed. James was still wrapped around him, an immovable furnace of warmth, his face pressed into the crook of Regulus’ neck, mouth slightly open as he breathed slow and steady. One hand was draped low on his hip, fingers curled with lazy possession
Regulus lay still, eyes half-lidded, his heart beating slow in a moment that felt borrowed from another life. His body ached, the good kind of ache, all dull heat and memory.
James mumbled something incoherent into his skin and nuzzled closer, and Regulus decided, just this once, to let himself pretend. Just one more breath. One more heartbeat. One more quiet morning that didn’t smell like smoke and tasted like war.
The door slammed open.
"Oi, lovebirds! Wake—"
Sirius’ voice died mid-word as he froze in the doorway.
James jolted upright like he’d been hexed, instinct driving him before his brain even caught up.
“PADFOOT!” he bellowed, voice cracking like a teenage boy’s, as he seized the blanket and yanked it over both of them with such fervour that Regulus got whacked in the face by a flying corner. His hair stood on end in every direction, eyes wide and feral. “BLOODY HELL!”
“Oh, my eyes!” Sirius shrieked, spinning around so fast he smacked into the doorframe. “Oh, no. No, no, no. Absolutely not.” He clapped a hand over his face and groaned. “I thought you’d be decent! I hoped you’d be decent! I PRAYED you’d be decent!”
“You barged in!” James shrieked, still holding the blanket like a human barricade. “Who the fuck does that?”
“I didn’t see anything. Nope. Nothing. I am blind. Blessedly blind. You two don’t exist anymore.” Sirius backed out of the room, hitting the same chair twice in his retreat. “Forget I was ever born!”
“You bloody better!” James shouted, face going crimson as he nearly strangled himself in the blanket trying to tuck Regulus safely beneath it.
“Merlin, Sirius!” Regulus hissed, his voice muffled under the covers, every inch of him vibrating with outrage. “Do you ever knock?”
“Well, I was going to say we will miss whatever scraps they have for breakfast,” Sirius called back. “But clearly you two have already worked up an appetite.”
"Fuck off!" James threw a pillow at the door. It hit the doorframe with a tragic thud as Sirius finally escaped, slamming the door shut behind him.
“MOONY!” they heard him wail down the corridor. “I need you to Obliviate me—actually, no, Avada might be safer—”
Silence crashed back into the room.
Regulus poked his head out from under the blanket like an angry, sleep-rumpled ghost rising from a crypt. His hair was staging a violent coup against gravity, his cheeks scarlet.
“I hate him,” he muttered darkly.
“I want to die,” James groaned, collapsing backwards onto the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Put me out of my misery before he comes back with commentary.”
Regulus tilted his head, staring at him for a long moment. Then, disastrously, he laughed. It started as a low snort, but it slipped out, grew into a muffled chuckle, then broke into something bubbling and helpless. He tried to bury his face in the pillow, but it only came out louder—ragged, uncontrollable giggles spilling through the room.
James pulled his arm away from his eyes to gape at him.
“Are you laughing at me right now?”
“You—” Regulus choked, gasping for breath, “—you were screeching like a mandrake.”
“I did not!” James snapped, grabbing another pillow and smacking Regulus over the head with it, though he was grinning now, too—sheepish and red-faced. “Do you know how mortifying that was?! He’s going to whine all day about this!”
Regulus smirked and slid closer, tucking shamelessly against James’ side again. “Well,” he murmured, brushing a kiss against James’ jaw, “at least we had a solid ten minutes of peace before my brother decided to traumatize himself.”
James huffed.
“I hope he has nightmares.”
“Don’t worry,” Regulus whispered, lips twitching. “He will.”
They lay there for a long moment, listening to the muffled chaos still echoing down the Tower—Sirius shouting something about soap for his eyes, Evan groaning, Remus telling him to please shut the fuck up.
“We should go to the Hall,” James sighed, rubbing his face.
“Or we could skip it. Sneak to the kitchen later. I’m not in the mood for stale bread and watery porridge today.” Regulus hummed against his neck.
“Mmm, sounds like a date.” James kissed his forehead and pushed himself off the mattress, when a scream tore through the Tower.
Regulus jumped from the bed and grabbed his clothes, putting on his trousers and shirt in a hurry, nearly stumbling as he rushed out of the bedroom.
The air in the common room buzzed with something heavy and wrong. Marlene was on her knees in front of the fireplace, fists tangled in her own hair, rocking, trembling so violently it looked like her bones might shake apart.
Blood was everywhere. Smeared across her cheeks, caked under her fingernails, streaking her collar, staining her skin in rusty handprints. And her voice was raw, torn to shreds. Not crying. Not weeping. Howling. Great, animal sounds wrenched from her chest like grief was trying to claw its way out of her lungs.
James froze mid-step, his throat closing.
“What the—Marlene?”
She didn’t seem to hear him.
“Marlene,” he tried again, voice gentler now, and he stepped forward.
Regulus followed, slower, eyes sharp as a knife as they swept the room. There was no enemy here. No curse still echoing in the air. Just the aftertaste of horror, heavy and clinging.
“Marlene, what happened?” Remus also approached her and crouched in front of her, hands held out like he wasn’t sure if he should touch her.
She finally looked up, and it was worse than anything Regulus had expected.
Regulus had seen bodies. He had seen terror and rage and grief, but this, this hollow, frantic wildness, was worse. Her eyes were bloodshot, feral, her face smeared with streaks of red and tears. Her lips moved around words that failed to form. And then she grabbed at Remus’ arms with her blood-slick hands and wailed.
“Me—me and Dorcas—we just—we just went to get food. Just food. We thought—we thought it would be fine—”
Her chest hitched, every word broken on sobs, words spilling over one another in a rush, as if slowing down would make it more true.
“Breathe, Marls,” Remus begged, voice steady, but his eyes weren’t. His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, fighting to stay calm while his hands stayed braced on her shoulders.
“They were waiting outside. Two of them. One of them—one of them was Mulciber—” Her voice broke again. “He said something filthy. He grabbed her. He—”
Her voice splintered again, folding in on itself. She pressed her bloody hands against her mouth, shaking her head so hard her hair stuck to her wet cheeks.
Regulus felt the shift in the room before he understood it in himself. He heard Barty whisper a foul curse under his breath.
A silence fell. Still, but sharp-edged.
Marlene wasn’t looking at him. No one was. They were all focused on her, on the blood, on the way she curled into herself like a child. But Regulus didn’t blink.
“What happened?” His voice was low, cutting clean through the thick air.
Marlene tried to answer, choking on it. Finally, she managed, “She pushed him. She told him to get off. She fought—Merlin, she fought—told me to run.” Her chest heaved.
A pause.
“He laughed. He laughed, and then he let her go, and she ran down the hallway. We thought that they would let us go, but he...he used bombarda.”
The words cracked open something in her, and she broke all over again.
Her next words were a whisper that burned the air away.
“She was just… gone. Just like that. There was nothing left. Just the blood.”
The world seemed to stop.
James made a broken sound in his throat and sank lower, his hand on Marlene’s shoulder.
“Was it him?” His voice was quiet. Deadly.
Marlene blinked at him, unfocused. “Wh-what?”
“Mulciber,” Regulus said, eyes like obsidian. “Was it Mulciber who cast the curse?”
There was no rage in his tone. No grief. Just something emptier. Like a cavern with nothing left but echoes.
Marlene’s whole body shook. She stared at him, lips trembling. Then, slowly, barely, she nodded. Once.
Regulus didn’t say a word, but James turned toward him anyway, as if sensing the storm building behind his eyes. As if everyone in the room felt it—the pressurized quiet of something just about to break.
And when Regulus turned, Sirius stepped into his path.
“Reggie—don’t.” His voice was quiet, but firm. “I know what you want to do, and it won’t fix anything.”
Regulus’ gaze didn’t shift. He didn’t even seem to see Sirius standing there.
Barty appeared at Sirius’ shoulder, tense and pale, eyes flicking between them all, calculating.
“He’s not wrong,” he said, voice clipped, like he was already preparing for a fight. “You go after Mulciber now, and we’ll bury you before lunch.”
“I’m not scared of him.” Regulus' voice was quiet. Measured. Almost eerily calm.
“No,” Barty said, something brittle and tired in his eyes. “That is exactly the problem. You humiliated him last time, Reg. He wants you to go after him.”
Suddenly, the portrait door creaked open, and the entire common room seemed to freeze mid-breath.
Rabastan Lestrange ducked inside, and for a moment, no one recognized him. He looked… altered. His usually polished sneer was gone, his hair damp with sweat, his skin pale and taut like parchment stretched too thin. His eyes swept the room, and for once, there was no arrogance in his stance. Only urgency.
“You’re summoned,” he said grimly, voice low but carrying. “All of you.”
Gasps rippled through the room like wind through dry leaves.
Rabastan looked over his shoulder into the empty hallway beyond.
“Grab whatever the fuck you can and follow me,” he hissed. “Don’t ask questions. Take your wands, too.”
Wands.
The word hit like a slap, like cold water. They all knew what it meant.
Regulus exhaled slowly, one long, controlled breath, like a man willing himself not to scream. Then he turned on his heel, sharp and decisive, and strode toward the staircase without looking back.
Lily moved next. She slid an arm under Marlene’s shoulders, hauling her upright. Marlene staggered, shaking so violently she nearly collapsed again. Her skin was clammy, her lips bloodless. The blood on her clothes had dried tacky and dark, turning into a terrible second skin.
“You heard him,” Regulus murmured as he passed Sirius, not bothering to glance at him. His eyes cut briefly to James, unreadable. “I’ll bring yours too. Wait here.”
The silence as they followed Rabastan through the halls was not natural. It was suffocating. The castle felt hollow, gutted, as if something vital had been ripped from it. No voices. No footsteps. Just the low hiss of wind threading through broken windows and the distant crackle of something burning.
They cut through the courtyards like ghosts, slipping through shadows and empty arches, eyes sharp, breaths shallow. Regulus moved like a man possessed, steps deliberate and unflinching, as if he was walking straight into hell.
It was only when they crossed into the far fields that the sound reached them.
At first, faint. Then louder. Rising. A tide of jeers, mocking laughter, guttural howls that rolled together into one horrific chorus.
The Quidditch pitch.
It was the same place. The same nightmare stage as before. Only this time, it had swollen.
The stands bulged with bodies—masks gleaming silver, bone, ivory, catching the torchlight. Death Eaters filled the benches, their laughter cracking like whips, their voices hungry.
Voldemort was perched on the same dais of twisted black wood and conjured iron. The same dais where he threw Avery’s head a while ago. Voldemort lounged across it like a king without rivals, pale hands draped over the arms, wand twirling lazily between his fingers like a conductor waiting to begin the symphony.
When he saw them approaching, he smiled.
It wasn’t wide. It wasn’t grand. It was small. Precise. A curl of lips that knew every secret you wished you didn’t have. A smile that curdled blood.
“Ah,” he said, smooth as oil, his voice carrying easily to the highest rows. Instantly, the crowd quieted, laughter strangled off. “Our little heroes arrive again.”
He rose slowly, every movement deliberate. The silence spread outward like frost, coating the stands in stillness.
“Some of you may be wondering,” he said, eyes sweeping the gathering, “why I’ve called you here without any warning. Why the blood, the urgency, the spectacle. You may even think it cruel. Senseless. For not allowing you to properly grieve your fallen.”
His eyes found Marlene.
Her shoulders locked.
“Peter Pettigrew. Emmeline Vance.” He savored the names like a fine wine. “And now Dorcas Meadowes.”
Marlene let out a broken sound, raw and small, barely audible above the oppressive silence.
“All gone,” Voldemort said. “So tragically broken by their own weaknesses.”
He stood at the apex of his dais, tall and skeletal, his wand still twirling lazily between his fingers. The air itself seemed to vibrate around him, charged with something older, darker than mere magic.
He raised a hand.
“You wish to serve in the new world I am building?” His voice deepened, sharp with promise and cruelty. “Then you will bleed for it.”
A low murmur rippled through the crowd. Some stiffened. Others looked at each other, confused, anxious. Even the Death Eaters on the benches leaned forward, hungry for the spectacle.
Voldemort smiled again, that cold crescent of teeth and cruelty.
“The next trial begins now.”
He stepped forward, robes trailing behind him like smoke.
“No more coddling. No more preparation. No more waiting.”
He turned slightly, gesturing to the black-cloaked figures behind him. With a flick of his wand, the air shimmered, and a conjured map of the Ministry of Magic floated above the pitch, glowing red and gold.
“There,” Voldemort said, pointing one pale finger to the heart of it. “The Department of Mysteries. Each of you will work in pairs—chosen at random, as fate decrees. Each pair will be Apparated into a different chamber.”
The illusion shifted. A parchment appeared in the air, ancient and frayed, its crimson ink writhing like blood that hadn’t dried.
“One chamber contains a scroll you must retrieve. Only spilled pureblood will call forth the truth. Lesser blood will be devoured.”
The words dripped into nothingness, leaving silence in their wake.
Voldemort inhaled deeply through his nose, as though savouring the scent of fear that was beginning to bloom from the gathering.
“What is purity,” he asked softly, voice slithering through the night, “if not proved through pain?”
The hush that followed was absolute.
Then he turned, raising his hand.
“Bring it forward.”
From the shadows at the far edge of the pitch, two towering figures emerged. Death Eaters, masked and cloaked, their steps deliberate and heavy. They moved slowly, too slowly, like priests in a funeral procession, bearing something sacred yet profane between them, hidden beneath folds of thick, tattered fabric.
And as they came closer, the air shifted. It grew dense, unnatural, heavy with a wrongness that prickled across the skin and caught in the lungs. The torches lining the pitch guttered low, their flames struggling as though starved of oxygen, while a faint, iron-sour scent began to creep through the space.
Regulus stiffened. His breath hitched in his throat before he could stop it. He knew that silhouette, that impossible outline.
When the object finally caught the wavering torchlight, his heart dropped.
The Goblet of Fire.
Or rather, what remained of it.
The once-majestic cup was now blackened and cracked, as though it had survived a fire too hungry to be natural. The carved flames around its rim were charred and dead, and instead of casting light, it oozed a thick, oily smoke that curled lazily upward. It smelled of old magic.
A visible shiver ran through the gathered students. Even hardened Death Eaters shifted uneasily in their seats.
“The great Goblet,” Voldemort drawled at last, stepping forward, his voice soft but slicing through the silence like a blade. His crimson eyes gleamed as he surveyed the mutilated relic, admiring it as one might admire the corpse of a noble beast. “Once a vessel of tradition. A relic of honour.”
He gave a mocking little smile.
“Now reborn. Purged of sentiment. Freed of its shackles. Stripped of weakness and bias.”
He stepped closer, and the smoke recoiled from him.
“Tonight,” he murmured, “it chooses your fate and your partner… or burden.”
With a wave of his wand, the cloak slid off the Goblet fully.
The moment the air touched it, the smoke thickened, rolling across the pitch like storm clouds. The chalice began to glow from within, deep red like heated iron.
“Your names have already been fed,” Voldemort said. “Let the pairings be drawn.”
The Goblet spat the first flame, a jagged burst of crimson.
A scrap of parchment burst into the air and fluttered down into Voldemort’s waiting hand.
“Mary Macdonald,” he read, his tone deliberate, “and Sirius Black.”
The crowd rippled. A murmur like rustling leaves swept the stands. Sirius froze, his face twisting, caught somewhere between shock and horror. Mary went pale, her lips parting in disbelief, a tremor racing through her frame as though her body itself rejected the pairing.
Voldemort didn’t pause.
Another flare, sharper this time. Another slip of parchment.
“Evan Rosier and Marlene McKinnon.”
Marlene’s soft gasp broke the fragile silence, choked and strangled, her hands flying to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. Beside her, Evan’s jaw hardened. He betrayed nothing else. Only the slightest flick of his eyes toward her, cool, calculating, unreadable.
The Goblet spat again.
“James Potter and Barty Crouch.”
Barty let out a quiet huff of laughter.
“Well,” he muttered. “This will be awkward.”
James said nothing, but his fists clenched at his sides. His wand hand twitched. He didn’t look at Barty.
“Lily Evans and Severus Snape.”
A hush fell.
Lily stood rooted to the spot. Her chest rose and fell in shallow, deliberate breaths, but she did not move. Severus did. He stepped forward, slow and measured, his head bowed slightly in false deference, though his eyes never left her—watching, sharp and heavy from beneath lowered lashes.
The Goblet flared again, brighter, angrier.
“Regulus Black and Remus Lupin.”
The words cracked through the pitch like thunder.
Regulus blinked once, sharp and disbelieving, his head turning in slow motion toward the boy only a few paces away.
Remus, pale, wide-eyed, his breath caught high in his chest, looked back at him.
For one long, unbearable moment, they stared at each other.
A thousand unspoken things passed between them.
And then—
“Wulfric Mulciber.”
Only one name. No partner.
Voldemort smiled darkly.
“A Death Eater in training does not require a leash,” he purred.
Mulciber smirked, stepping forward with deliberate arrogance. He shoved past those in his path as though they were insects, his eyes burning with cruel satisfaction.
The Goblet shuddered once more, its molten light sputtering, and then hissed as the last of the black smoke slithered back into its belly. The glow died. The cup fell still.
Voldemort turned to them all, wand raised, his face alight with a terrible, hungry satisfaction.
At once, the Death Eaters around the pitch moved in unison, casting. Bright glyphs burst to life on the ground, searing symbols in white fire that burned through the grass, arranging themselves into circles—portkeys, waiting like open jaws.
“Do not disappoint me,” Voldemort said, his voice rising, cold and commanding. His eyes flared scarlet as they swept the faces of those gathered. “Pain, after all, is temporary.”
He let the silence hang, cruel and heavy, before his voice dropped into a hiss:
“But failure… failure is permanent.”
He tilted his face skyward, smiling into the dark, starless night.
“Let the trial begin.”
Notes:
I bet my Windows license that James would’ve blasted “Don’t Speak” from No Doubt at full volume and you can't change my mind
Chapter 27: Katabasis
Summary:
I wrote this in one sitting. I am not even joking
It was written in a stream of consciousness style and had to literally decode it when I proofread it and I swear my honest reaction was “wtf was in my head when I wrote this”
I really do hope you express your thoughts in the comments because I was so eager to finally get to this chapter, you have no idea
Also, the end notes are long and quite nerdy, sorry in advance 😭 If someone had told me years ago that this is how I’d be using my degree, I would’ve laughed
Notes:
TW: mentions of suicide
"Run Boy Run"- Woodkid
"Game of Survival" - Ruelle
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
They Apparated in the middle of a forest.
The impact of arrival rattled in Remus’ bones, and when he blinked the dizziness away, he found himself staring at a wall of black trees that seemed to breathe with the night.
“Is this the Forbidden Forest?” Remus asked, brows drawing tight as his gaze flicked over the endless sprawl of trees. His voice was low, cautious, as though the forest itself might be listening. “It doesn’t make sense. He told us the trial would take place in the Ministry. Why would we be Apparated in the—”
“Because it’s not a forest,” Regulus cut in, voice tight. His eyes darted from tree to tree like they might reach out and grab him. “Some of the rooms… they can change.”
“Change?” Remus echoed. “Change into what, exactly?”
Regulus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “We have to find the others. We need to find the door and get to the main hallway.”
Remus barked a dry, panicked laugh.
“We don’t even know where the fuck we are, Reggie! How are we supposed to find a door in the middle of a fucking forest? Or” he gestured wildly at their surroundings, “whatever the hell this is supposed to be?”
“Remus,” Regulus said sharply, stepping toward him, eyes flashing. “Listen to me. We have to move. The shit Voldemort just pulled is way worse than last time.”
“At least this is not the Forbidden Forest,” the boy sighed.
“No. But this is a psychological trial.” Regulus started to walk through the vegetation. “Didn’t find it a little too convenient? The only way to open the fucking scroll is by spilling pure blood. All of us were paired with someone with it. All of us—except Lily. She’s with Snape. Everyone else? Each pair has one pure-blood.”
Remus stopped walking.
“So?”
“So,” Regulus said, turning to face him, “you’re supposed to kill me, Moony.”
There was a beat of silence. Then—
“Tough luck, Reggie,” Remus said, his voice like gravel. “I’m not going to do that.”
“You say that now,” Regulus replied, eyes hard. “But whatever this room is—whatever this place is—it’s designed to get inside our heads. It’s not about monsters in the dark. It’s about making you believe you have no choice. Making you think that killing me is the only way out.”
The forest seemed to flinch. A sharp rustle echoed in the distance. A tree branch creaked violently overhead.
Both boys froze, heads snapping toward the sound. Wands raised.
Nothing.
“You felt that, didn’t you?” Regulus whispered.
“Yeah.” Remus’ eyes lingered on the shadows for a beat longer before he asked, voice taut, “Do you think the others are in places like this? Fake forests? Rooms that play tricks?”
“Probably,” Regulus said. “Maybe worse.”
“Worse than this?”
Regulus gave him a bleak smile.
“I’ve read about the Department of Mysteries. There’s a room that plays with mirrors. One that drives you mad with feelings. One that—”
“Okay, okay,” Remus said, holding up a hand. “Enough exposition. What do we do?”
Regulus nodded.
“We keep moving. Look for anything unnatural. Doors. Glyphs. Something that could be a marker.”
The trees here didn’t sway with the wind—they creaked and groaned like they were bored of standing. The canopy filtered what little light there was into strange, flickering shadows, and every now and then, the illusion of distance would ripple, revealing that the woods didn’t sprawl so much as they looped. Again and again, back to the same clearing, the same tree, the same rock. A giant wheel, spinning them in spirals.
But walking felt better than standing still. Standing still gave the room permission to change again.
It was Regulus who broke the silence, his voice startling against the hush.
“So,” he said, pushing aside a branch with the tip of his wand, “what were they like?”
Remus blinked, caught off guard.
“What?”
“James,” Regulus said casually, but his eyes flicked sideways. “And Sirius. When you were in school. I know the versions of them that everyone knew outside, but I never saw them there. The real ones.”
Remus gave him a look like he was trying to gauge the danger level of the question.
“Why do you want to know?”
Regulus shrugged. “I’m curious.”
Remus laughed under his breath, surprised. “That’s... a weird question coming from you.”
“You thought I’d rather ask you about Dark artefacts and ritual blood magic?”
“Honestly? Yes.”
“Well,” Regulus smirked faintly. “Consider me evolved.”
Remus huffed a laugh and shook his head.
“Alright, fine. They were a bloody nightmare, to be honest. Loud. Reckless. Arrogant. James was always in detention or plotting a prank, while Sirius kept trying to beat his own record for most hexes performed in a single day.”
Regulus smiled faintly. “Sounds about right.”
“But,” Remus continued, “they were also... kind. In their own deeply chaotic, self-destructive way. James would’ve given you the shirt off his back without thinking. And Sirius... he’d throw himself in front of a train if he thought you needed protecting. They were stupid about loyalty. Or brilliant. Depends on how you look at it.”
Regulus made a noise in his throat. “Sirius always did believe he could fix everything by shouting at it.”
Remus chuckled. “And James thought invading personal space was a perfectly fine substitute for communication.”
“Merlin, the two of them together…” Regulus shook his head. “They must’ve been insufferable.”
“They were,” Remus said, grinning now, a flicker of warmth threading through the fear. “Every professor prayed for early retirement.”
There was a pause.
“Padfoot loved you, you know,” Remus added after a moment, quieter now. “Even when you avoided him. He never stopped worrying about you.”
Regulus’ expression twitched. He looked away.
“Didn’t seem that way,” he said flatly.
“Yeah, well,” Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sirius isn’t exactly known for expressing himself in healthy ways.”
There was a rustle somewhere behind them. Regulus whipped around, wand up but it was just a rabbit.
Still, they both paused.
“You miss it?” Regulus asked after a beat.
“What?”
“The peaceful days. Being a student. Feeling like the worst thing that could happen was failing a Transfiguration exam.”
Remus gave him a small, wry smile.
“Those days didn’t exist for me the way they did for others. I was always... outside of it. Half-in, half-out.”
“Because of the lycanthropy?” Regulus asked carefully.
Remus hesitated, then nodded. “That. And other things.”
Regulus didn’t push.
They started to walk again. The forest seemed marginally less oppressive with the conversation holding it at bay.
“I never got to thank you,” Regulus whispered as he pushed some ferns away, not looking at Remus.
Remus blinked at the sudden shift. “What for?”
“That night,” Regulus murmured. “In the Astronomy Tower. I was about to do something very stupid and got cold feet when I saw you.”
He paused. The branches cracked under their feet like brittle bones.
“I know I snapped at you,” Regulus continued, his voice quieter now. “Without any fucking reason. You didn’t deserve that.”
Remus stopped walking. His hand found the rough bark of a tree as he leaned slightly against it.
“You mean fifth year?”
Regulus gave a small nod. “Yeah. Fifth year.”
Remus frowned, brows knitting.
“You looked like hell that night. I remember. You were standing on the ledge and... I didn’t know if you were there to think or—”
“I wasn’t there to think, Moony.”
The way he said it stole the breath from the space between them. There was silence, broken only by the haunting hum of insects and the occasional rustle of something far off in the woods.
Remus froze. His chest tightened, his mouth suddenly dry.
“I—I didn’t know,” he said softly, his voice breaking on the edges.
Regulus started walking again, his back rigid, but slower now. Remus followed, his steps quieter, careful, as though the wrong sound might shatter the fragile honesty between them.
“I don’t even remember climbing the tower,” Regulus admitted. His voice was barely more than a whisper. “I just remember the railing. The cold. The way the ground looked like it would welcome me. Like the wind was humming something, promising it would be quick. Painless.”
He inhaled through his nose sharply.
“My parents were out of control that year,” Regulus began. His voice was steady at first, but it carried a brittle edge. “Worse than usual. I was fifteen and they just started dragging me to meetings. Real ones, with real Death Eaters. Not just the formal dinners or the never-ending speeches about legacy and purity, but full-on strategy sessions. People talking about cleansing and bloodlines as though they were planning a feast. About how many spells it would take to kill a Muggle-born, as if it were an equation.”
Remus didn’t say anything. He knew better than to interrupt now.
“I kept my mouth shut,” Regulus continued. “Because if I didn’t, they’d punish me. And when they punished me…” His hand flexed involuntarily at his side, like he could still feel the phantom ache. “They didn’t care if there were bruises left afterward. Or burns. Or if I screamed too loud.”
A bitter laugh escaped him, harsh and empty.
“There wasn’t a day in that house without the Cruciatus. Sometimes, just because I stopped too long outside Sirius’ door. Sometimes, because I hesitated before answering. Once—” He stopped, swallowing hard. “Once, because I asked why. Why it mattered who someone’s grandparents were. Why did anyone deserve that?”
His voice cracked. He coughed like he was swallowing it down.
“That night on the tower…” He faltered, steps slowing until he stopped altogether. His gaze went distant, jaw tightening like he was bracing against the memory. “I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d just gotten back from one of those meetings. Rodolphus laughed when I flinched at a curse. Bellatrix said I wouldn’t last the year. My mother hexed me in the hall for making the family look weak. And my father—” He drew in a sharp breath, steadying himself. “My father told me I was lucky he let me live under his roof.”
He swallowed hard.
“I climbed the tower because I didn’t want to feel like a Black anymore,” Regulus whispered. “I didn’t want to feel anything. At all.”
Remus’ throat worked, but no words came. He could only watch him, his own chest aching with the weight of it.
“And then you showed up,” Regulus muttered, the bitterness fading into something more fragile. “You just… walked in. Half-asleep, fiddling with your bloody lighter.”
Remus startled faintly at the memory.
“I—I couldn’t sleep,” he admitted, voice hushed. “And I liked the stars.”
“Of course, you did,” Regulus said with a ghost of a smile, though his eyes glistened faintly. “You asked if I was alright. And that’s when it hit me that I wasn’t invisible anymore. Someone had seen me. And it scared the shit out of me. So, I snapped. Said something cruel. Something I don’t even remember now.”
He let out a shaky breath. “But you just blinked at me. And then you sat down on the steps. You didn’t leave.”
Remus’ lips parted, his voice rough. “I thought you just… needed someone there. No words. No questions. Just someone to share the night with. I’ve had my fair share of nights like that.”
Regulus looked away and eventually spoke after a long pause.
“You saved me. Whether you meant to or not. And I was a prick to you for years because of it. Because I didn’t know what to do with the fact that you—” He stopped, exhaled. “That you’d stayed.”
Remus smiled faintly, though his eyes were wet. A small, tight-lipped curve of his mouth.
“I think I hated you for a while after that.”
“Fair,” Regulus replied, surprising him with the faintest laugh. “I hated myself enough for both of us anyway.”
They walked on, side by side. The forest dimmed again, but the space between them felt less suffocating, like the air had cracked open.
“Is that why you got closer to Barty and Evan?” Remus asked eventually.
“They were like me,” Regulus said simply. “Ruined. Loyal. Quietly dying from the inside out while pretending they weren’t. We didn’t talk about feelings. We talked about strategy. About hiding bruises. About which potion dulled the nerves best after a curse.”
Remus flinched at that, his stomach twisting. “Jesus.”
“Yeah.”
Remus was about to speak again when his knees buckled beneath him without warning. His vision tilted, the forest spinning, the air too thick to breathe.
“Remus!” Regulus dropped instantly, catching him before he hit the ground. His hands gripped Remus’ shoulders with a desperation that betrayed his usual control. His voice was sharp. “What’s wrong? Hey—hey, look at me. Look at me!”
Remus’ body was trembling, his limbs stiffened in unnatural angles as if something inside him had snapped the strings and begun pulling the bones in new directions. His head snapped up, eyes wild. His pupils were blown wide, almost completely black, and sweat clung to his forehead in a damp sheen. He was gasping like he couldn’t find air, like the very atmosphere was curdled, poisonous in his lungs.
He clawed at the ground. His fingers raked furrows through the dirt, nails splitting, soil clogging under them. His throat worked around a broken, raw sound.
“It’s—” he gasped, voice fracturing into pieces. “—something’s wrong, Reg—fuck, something’s—”
He let out a strangled groan and doubled over, arms wrapping around his stomach as if to hold himself together.
“It’s not supposed to be now,” he hissed through gritted teeth, his jaw was trembling so hard the words shook apart. His back shuddered, muscles locking in brutal spasms that made his whole frame quake. “Not now—it’s not supposed to—”
Regulus felt his own blood turn cold.
“What isn’t?” he asked, voice tight, already knowing but needing to hear it.
“The moon,” Remus rasped, eyes darting wildly like he could claw reality back into order. “The full moon. It’s not tonight. It’s next week, Reg, I checked, I always check, I triple check—”
His words shattered into a sob. His hands tore at his chest as though he could dig out the thing poisoning him from the inside. His spine snapped taut, then buckled, body bowing like a string wound too tight on the verge of snapping.
“Okay, okay—” Regulus stammered, every syllable collapsing under his own panic. He tried to keep his voice calm, but it trembled despite him. “Breathe, Moony, just—just breathe. You’re okay. We’re okay. Just—fuck—listen to me, you’re okay.”
But Remus wasn’t. He was choking on air like it was smoke, gasping in ragged, broken pulls that never seemed to reach his lungs. His face was twisted into something caught between disbelief and agony, every tendon straining, every vein bulging under his skin. Regulus felt the hook of fear sink deep into his chest, tearing.
“It’s a trick,” he said quickly, to himself as much as to Remus. His thoughts spun so fast they tripped over one another. “It has to be a trick—some kind of spell, a coincidence, a glamour—it’s not—it can’t be—”
But then the clouds above them shifted.
They peeled back in slow, theatrical movements like velvet curtains at the start of a cursed play, revealing the sky above in all its glory.
And there it was, staring down at them.
White. Impossibly round. Cold and watchful.
The moon.
Regulus’ lungs stopped working. His heart punched against his ribs, trying to escape, desperate to reject what he was seeing.
“No.” The word escaped like a prayer. “No, no, it’s not—it’s not real. It can’t be real.”
He forced the words again, louder, as though volume could bend reality.
“This is the Department of Mysteries,” he said, a tremble in his voice. “We’re in a room. An actual fucking room. There’s no sky, no moon—this isn’t real—”
And then it clicked.
The horror of it struck like a slap.
The Illusion Chamber.
The room that bent thought into flesh. That gave fear a heartbeat. That dressed nightmares in skin you recognized.
He spun back to Remus, panic clawing at his throat. Dropping to his knees, he grabbed his friend’s face in both hands, fingers trembling violently against his clammy skin.
“Moony, listen to me. Look at me.”
Remus’eyes were barely human now—gold was bleeding through the brown in a way that made Regulus’ stomach churn. His irises were glowing faintly, pulsing with something deep and ancient and hungry.
“This isn’t real,” Regulus forced out, desperate. “You hear me? It’s the room. Just the fucking room. You’re not turning. It’s not the real moon. You are not—”
Suddenly, his spine arched violently. His entire body was yanked upright as if unseen hooks were embedded in his bones, dragging him toward the merciless sky. A sickening crack echoed through the trees as vertebrae twisted, separating with unnatural force, then slammed back together in new, terrible shapes.
He screamed.
But the sound that tore from him wasn’t human. It started high, shrill with agony, then collapsed into something guttural, animal, ripped straight from the marrow. It shuddered through the forest, thick and vibrating with pain. It was a sound that didn’t belong to anything human anymore.
Regulus’ stomach heaved. His throat went dry.
No no no no—
Remus crumpled forward onto hands and knees, his body convulsing like his skin was too tight to contain him. His fingers spread wide, trembling, until they began to stretch—elongating, warping—his bones splintering beneath the skin with grotesque little pops. His nails turned black and sharp, then tore through the flesh like claws ripping through damp paper.
“Remus—Remus, no, no, no—” Regulus threw himself forward, trying to hold him down, to pin him, to anchor him back into his body. But Remus bucked violently, his limbs spasming, kicking at the dirt, his skin rippling as though something beneath it was clawing its way free.
“Run,” Remus rasped. His voice was shredded raw, torn into threads, but it was still him for a heartbeat. His glowing eyes flicked up, desperate. “Run, Reggie. Now.”
Regulus’ hands only gripped tighter. “I’m not leaving you!”
“RUN!” he screamed, and in that scream was every ounce of terror, every shard of control he was trying to hold onto.
But Regulus couldn’t move. He was frozen, muscles locked, breath trapped somewhere in his throat. He couldn’t look away. He couldn’t leave him.
Remus let out another scream then—ragged, broken, and full of something ancient and feral. It tore through the air like claws on stone, echoing off the trees. Birds took flight. The forest itself seemed to recoil.
Regulus watched in paralyzed horror as Remus’ body began to buckle under the weight of the change.
His jaw snapped with a wet, crunching pop as it dislocated and then surged forward, bones stretching into a snout lined with glistening, bone-white fangs. Blood streamed from his mouth, and his breath came in ragged huffs.
His ears curled into vicious, lupine points. His skin split down the forearms as black fur erupted in thick, tangled waves, like brambles forcing their way through flesh. His back widened, shoulders cracking into monstrous proportions. His ribs gave way one by one, the snapping rhythm sickeningly methodical, until his chest expanded outward, turning into something no longer meant to walk upright.
And through it all, there was a flicker. A single moment when those familiar brown eyes, Remus’ real eyes, looked up at him.
They were glassy with pain and wet with pleading.
Please run.
Then they were gone. Replaced with something ancient and hungry.
A final scream erupted from the thing now crouched in front of him—raw and terrible, echoing with centuries of cursed blood.
It wasn’t Remus anymore.
It was the wolf.
His clothing hung from him in tatters now, nothing left but scraps clinging to a beast made of fur and muscle and fury. The wolf took a breath and threw his head back to the sky, and howled.
"Remus..." he whispered, but he was gone. There was no more boy, no more friend. Only the monster now.
Regulus took a step back, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it would burst.
The wolf’s head snapped toward him. Golden eyes, bright as two molten suns, blazing with predatory focus, locked onto his. He let out a snarl. Low. Rumbling. It vibrated through the earth and up Regulus’ spine.
And then, faster than Regulus could comprehend, the creature lunged. Not a warning feint. Not a bluff, but a full-bodied sprint, claws tearing the earth like parchment.
Regulus turned and ran.
Every instinct in his body roared louder than any fragment of logic or little piece of advice he had ever read in books about how prey might survive a predator.
Stay still, move slowly, maintain eye contact, and do not run.
None of that mattered; none of it meant a single thing when the sound of claws was tearing through the earth behind him. Instinct was louder. Instinct was primal. Instinct was survival. And instinct screamed at him to fucking run.
Branches whipped across his face, brambles tore at his robes, and roots clawed at his feet like hands trying to drag him under. The forest was a cacophony now—shrieking wind, snapping twigs, the thud-thud-thud of monstrous paws closing in behind him. He didn’t dare look back.
I am going to die.
The thought did not creep upon him gently; it struck like a blow to the skull, sharp and cold, making the world around him tilt.
He pushed harder, legs burning, lungs screaming for air. The moonlight flickered through the canopy, painting everything in silver and shadow. The world blurred into streaks of grey and black, but that sound, the sound of pursuit, was crystal clear.
A flash of gold in the corner of his eye made him swerve just in time. The wolf barrelled past where he had been a moment before, crashing into a tree with a sickening crunch, bark splintering. It didn’t even falter. It spun mid-slide, claws gouging trenches in the soil, fur bristling, jaws slick with saliva.
Regulus hit the ground so hard his bones rattled, his body rolling in a graceless tumble through the dirt and dead leaves, but somehow, he forced himself up again. Legs trembling, heart hammering like a war drum. He didn’t know how he kept moving. The fear had numbed everything.
And still, he ran.
Through the blur of motion, he fumbled for his wand, fingers slick with sweat and blood. It slipped once—twice—finally, he caught it.
There had to be something—anything—to slow the beast down. A barrier. A spell?
A roar shattered the silence behind him. He flung himself to the left, tucking and rolling just as Moony leapt, claws slicing through the air inches from his back. The ground trembled with the impact of the wolf’s landing. Regulus scrambled back, wand up, gasping.
“Lumos Maxima!” he screamed, blasting light into the creature’s eyes.
The wolf recoiled, snarling in fury, thrashing its head as the burning light seared its eyes, claws ripping through the dirt as though trying to tear the very light from the air. For a moment, two seconds, maybe, it was blind and disoriented.
He used them as he bolted again, ignoring the stinging in his shoulder where a branch had gouged deep. Blood soaked into his robes, hot and sticky. His foot slipped on wet moss, and he slammed into a tree, breath knocked out of him, but he kept moving.
Somewhere above, the moon watched, cold and pitiless.
The howling came again—closer now. Too close. This was not a random pursuit anymore. The wolf was no longer simply following him; it was circling, herding, controlling the chase with the precision of something that knew this game intimately. It was not merely running him down. It was hunting.
He broke through the trees into a clearing and nearly collapsed, chest heaving, heart pounding so fast it felt like his veins might burst under the pressure. His wand shook violently in his hand as he turned in a desperate circle, eyes scanning the edges of the woods.
Nothing.
Silence.
The woods stared back.
And then—
Two eyes, bright as lanterns, were fixed on him.
The wolf stepped out of the darkness, chest heaving, drool sliding from its bared teeth. Its growl was a low vibration that crawled through the air, settling into Regulus’ bones like ice.
He lifted his wand, though his hand was trembling so violently the point of light quivered in the air. His voice cracked, hoarse and ragged.
“No… Remus, please—”
The wolf cocked its head to the side, an echo of curiosity, almost human in its strangeness, as if it recognized something in the sound of its name. And for the briefest instant, something flickered behind those golden eyes, something that did not belong to the beast. But it vanished as quickly as it appeared, drowned in hunger and fury.
Then it charged.
“Stupefy!” Regulus shouted, the word cracking with desperation.
The spell struck the wolf square in the chest. A crackle of red light flared, then fizzled. The beast stumbled, but it didn’t fall. It shook its massive head once, twice, then its lips peeled back into a snarl more animal than anything nature had intended.
Regulus didn’t wait and ran again.
The forest bent around him like a nightmare. The trees twisted, towering, black silhouettes clawing at the moon. Every breath burned his lungs. Every step sent white-hot knives through his thighs. His blood still dripped, leaving a trail for the creature to follow—a breadcrumb path for death.
Behind him, the beast howled, and it echoed—deep, low, not just rage but something older. A song of the hunt, vibrating with joy and hunger and the uncontainable ecstasy of pursuit.
And Regulus understood, in the pit of his stomach where terror lived, that the wolf was not chasing for survival.
It was chasing because it wanted to.
Because it loved the chase.
Because this was the thrill of the kill.
Regulus leapt over a fallen log, nearly falling face-first into the mud. His hands slammed down instinctively to catch himself, palms splitting open on sharp stones that bit deep into the skin, leaving him with a sting so sharp it made his vision flash. He pushed off the ground with a ragged grunt, staggered forward a few paces that were more stumble than stride, and somehow managed to find his feet again. His wand was still clenched in a death grip.
You’re going to have to kill him.
The thought came unbidden, cold and sharp like a knife held to his throat.
Regulus nearly tripped again, not because of the terrain but because of that thought, so sudden and so sharp it seemed to cut something loose inside him. Killing Remus was not a possibility. It was not even on the table.
But the logic was there, crouched at the edges of his mind like some cruel, grinning specter. He had studied this, not out of idle curiosity but because knowledge was the only armor he had ever been able to trust. He had read the texts until his eyes burned. He had memorized the theory of dueling until the movements haunted his sleep. He had studied lycanthropy obsessively, hoping that somewhere in its tangled history of curses and failed cures there might be a thread to unravel, a loophole to exploit, a puzzle to solve. And every page he had turned, every ink-stained line he had committed to memory, had whispered the same merciless conclusion:
If a turned werewolf corners you, there are two options.
Escape, or kill.
There was no third path. No reasoning with the beast. No bargaining, no pleas that would pierce through its mind. Because the mind was gone. It had been consumed, devoured, annihilated beneath the weight of the transformation. There was no Remus left to reach for. No voice to call out to. No humanity to cling to. There was only the wolf.
Regulus shook his head, snarling under his breath. He gripped his wand harder, the wood slick in his bloodied hand. His arm was trembling, not from fatigue, but from the choice. The one that waited for him at the edge of terror.
Could he do it? Could he cast that spell? The curse whispered with reverence and horror in the same breath? Could he look at Remus, the boy who once saved his life, and point his wand at his chest and end him as though he was no more than a nameless monster in a storybook?
The words were there, ready on his tongue. But his soul revolted.
No. He couldn’t. He would not.
Because Remus wasn’t the real monster, but Voldemort was for designing this.
Regulus’ thoughts dissolved in noise as the wolf howled again behind him. He pushed harder, his vision blurring. His knees buckled as the forest thinned, the trees spreading apart, their shadows less dense. The moonlight grew stronger, too strong. Almost artificial.
He could see the way the trees were giving way to open land. Mist rose ahead, silver and curling. The air shifted, heavier. Colder.
His foot hit a slope and he tumbled down, rolling, snapping through brambles and brittle leaves, until—Thud.
He landed on his knees.
The world spun, stars bursting behind his eyelids. His ribs screamed. He forced himself upright, spitting blood and mud, and what he saw ahead of him made everything else fall into silence.
There, through the mist, looming like some forgotten ruin torn from a fever dream, was Grimmauld Palace.
But not the house. Not the home he had once lived in, haunted as it had been by shadows and whispers. No.
This was something else.
A towering, Gothic monolith, vast and obscene in its scale, forged of obsidian and bone that glistened like it had been polished with blood. It stretched upward into the sky unnaturally, wrong in its proportions, crowned with spires that curled like broken fangs gnashing at the moon. Vines clung to its surface like veins crawling across flesh. Its windows glowed faintly from within, a pale, sickly green that promised only rot. The massive iron gate at its front sagged and groaned as though breathing, and above it the Black family crest was etched in stone, cracked clean down the center.
A cold sweat dripped down Regulus’ back.
“No,” he whispered, the word barely escaping.
Because he remembered this place.
Not as a place that existed in the waking world, but in dreams. Nightmares that had plagued him as a boy, visions he had woken from trembling and sobbing, too terrified to even move. Sirius had laughed at him, dismissing his stories with a scoff and a grin, but Regulus had lain awake for hours afterward, shivering beneath his blankets, staring into the dark. In those dreams, the palace had always been the same: corridors twisting like snakes, voices echoing from the walls, portraits that screamed when your back was turned. A place that consumed him in silence and left nothing behind.
He took a step back and froze when a twig snapped behind him.
The growl rolled through the mist, and Regulus turned just in time to see glowing eyes cutting through the fog. The wolf emerged slowly, as if savouring the fear bleeding off him. Its fur was matted with blood—some of it Regulus’. Its breath steamed in the cold air. It was shaking, barely held together by instinct and rage.
He was trapped between the nightmare before him and the monster behind.
“Please,” Regulus whispered, his voice breaking into nothing, softer than the wind. “Don’t make me go in there.”
But the wolf didn’t care. It took another step forward, claws sinking into the soil with deliberate slowness. Its snarl deepened. It wasn’t sprinting this time, but stalking. Savouring. Drinking in his terror like wine.
Regulus backed away, trembling, wand shaking in his hand.
There was no alternative.
He had to choose between the beast that wanted to kill him and the place that wanted to consume him.
And so, Regulus did the only thing he could.
He turned and ran straight into Grimmauld Palace.
The iron gates screeched open as he approached. The moment he crossed the threshold, the atmosphere shifted. It was as if he’d stepped underwater. Thick, oppressive, saturated with ancient magic. Every breath tasted like dust and copper. The temperature dropped by degrees, but it wasn’t cold in any normal sense. It was dead cold. The kind that felt like it came from inside a grave.
Behind him, the gates slammed shut with a deafening boom, shaking the very ground beneath his feet.
The silence that followed was absolute, following him as he climbed the stairs. The same stairs he climbed so many times when he was a little boy.
Inside, the palace was worse than the exterior promised.
The ceiling stretched far too high, lost in a haze of gloom. The chandeliers above were made of what looked like ribcages, strung together with an iron chain, and dripping thick wax that never hit the floor. It hung in midair, suspended, quivering, like it was waiting to fall but never would.
Tattered tapestries clung to the walls like strips of rotting skin, sagging and peeling, their edges fraying into threads that writhed as if alive. There was no breeze, no draft to stir them, and yet they shivered. They twisted. They turned toward him, as though they sensed his presence, and the longer he tried not to look, the more his eyes betrayed him.
The woven figures were not still. One tapestry showed a small boy, pale and fragile, seated stiffly at a dinner table. His nose was bleeding, dark rivulets staining the front of his shirt, while his family sat around him, goblets raised high, laughter stitched into their faces in cruel, unbroken smiles. The child’s eyes stared out of the cloth, directly at him, wide with terror. It was himself. It was Regulus.
Another tapestry shifted in the corner of his vision, and he could not help but turn. Sirius was woven there, captured mid-stride, sprinting down a hallway that burned with fire, the flames licking greedily at his heels. Wolves poured out of the smoke behind him, their jaws open wide, their eyes aflame, and the corridors bent unnaturally as they ran, twisting around Sirius like a snake tightening its coils.
Regulus tore his eyes away, his stomach curdling, only to be confronted by the staircase looming before him. It was massive, impossibly so, spiralling upward like the spine of some ancient serpent. Its bones seemed to coil into blackness, climbing and climbing, but never in any direction that felt natural. The longer he looked at it, the less it obeyed the laws of space. Angles shifted. Gravity bent. It was a staircase not meant to be climbed, but to break the mind of the climber.
A wave of vertigo struck him, heavy and sudden, and he staggered back, one hand pressed against the wall for balance.
Paintings lined the corridor. Not familiar ones. These were warped. Almost human, but not quite—eyes too wide, skin too stretched. Some had stitched mouths, others had no mouths at all. And yet they still whispered. The sound was constant, low and slithering, a hundred voices overlapping just beneath hearing. The closer he moved, the clearer it became. His name hissed from their lips like steam escaping cracks in the walls.
Regulus. Regulus. Regulus.
One portrait hissed when he passed, its eyes glowing a deep, wet crimson. Another began to weep dark tears, smearing down the canvas as if the oil paint itself was bleeding.
He quickened his pace, heart pounding harder now. Louder than the tick-tock of the unseen grandfather clock—wherever it was. The sound followed him, always just around the corner. Always behind the wall.
And then he turned a corner and froze.
The dining hall yawned open before him like a cathedral. Vast, cavernous, its vaulted ceiling was supported by pillars shaped like snakes, each one carved in grotesque detail, scales catching the faint, unnatural firelight. But there were no flames. No hearth, no candles to explain the glow that rippled across the black marble floor.
And in the centre, stretching long and straight like a scar was the dining table.
It was immaculate. Gleaming silver cutlery, pristine china, crystal goblets filled with something dark and thick. Candles burned steadily, their flames blue, casting no warmth.
Every place setting bore the House of Black crest, etched in obsidian.
Regulus stepped forward despite himself and saw that his name was carved into the wood of one seat.
Regulus Arcturus Black.
The sight of it stole the breath from his lungs.
Regulus stumbled backward, heart hammering. He could still hear the wolf pacing outside, scraping at the door, snorting through the cracks.
And somewhere behind him… a creak.
Footsteps. Human ones.
Another creak. Another footstep. The faint rustle of silk fabric brushing against stone.
His mouth dried.
“Welcome home, Regulus,” a voice whispered from the shadows. The whisper of something breathing that shouldn’t be.
He turned slowly, and there she was.
At the far end of the hall, descending the staircase like a queen of rot, Walburga Black moved as though she’d never died. Her gown dragged behind her in tatters of lace and velvet, soaked in shadow, and glittering faintly with dust. Her hair was pinned high in the old style, the way she had worn it when he was a boy, before everything had curdled. Her face, no, mask, was stretched into something close to a smile, but so wrong, so wretched, it might as well have been carved there by knives.
“Don’t be rude, son,” she cooed, her voice like brittle leaves scraping across a tombstone. “We’ve set the table for you.”
Regulus backed away. One step. Then another. Every inch of his body screamed to run, but the house held him like a mouth closing in.
“No,” he breathed. “No, you’re—”
“Dead?” she interrupted sweetly, tilting her head with a sound like bones cracking. Her laugh rang out soft and musical, though her lips never quite bent with it. “Oh, Regulus. Still so sweet. Still so naïve. Death is only a door.”
Her head tilted further, vertebrae popping sharply in the silence.
“And you, my darling boy… You opened it.”
From the darkness behind her, another figure emerged—taller, broader, wearing thick formal robes as if attending a Black family gala. Half his face was swallowed by shadow, but Regulus knew the exact shape of that frown. The way those eyes passed judgment not like a father, but like an executioner.
His father stood silent for a moment, staring, as if measuring him up for a coffin.
“You’re not real,” Regulus whispered, barely able to force the words out. “You’re… memories. Echoes.”
“And yet,” Walburga purred, gliding closer, arms stretching open as if to embrace him, “we remember everything.”
Her eyes gleamed, while her lips split wider.
“Your failings. Your cowardice. Your lies.”
Her smile thinned.
“Your betrayal.”
She reached the last step and stopped, looming over the vast dining hall like a specter of judgment.
“Come now,” she crooned. “It’s rude to leave your parents waiting. Sit with us, Regulus. Just for one meal.”
He didn’t move.
Walburga’s eyes narrowed, the curl of her lip warping into something far uglier. “I wasn’t asking.”
The doors behind him slammed open again with a deafening crack, and a gust of wind howled through the palace like a scream. Regulus spun, but the wolf was gone.
Nothing waited beyond the doors now. Only darkness.
He turned back, and they were closer. Standing on either side of the massive dining table now, looking down at him with something between pity and disgust.
“When,” Orion asked, voice low and cold enough to burn, “have you grown so weak?”
Walburga snapped her fingers.
Thump… thump…
From a side door in the far corner of the room, something shuffled forth.
Something wrong.
It walked like a man, but it was no such thing. Its gait was uneven, each step dragging too long, each shift of weight accompanied by a nauseating scrape of bone against bone. The skin that clung to its body was the mottled grey of drowned flesh, puckered and sagging where once muscle might have held form. Its eyes were milk-white, rolling in their sockets without ever focusing, and the jerking stiffness of its movements betrayed the truth. It wasn't a person, but a puppet, a carcass yanked back into the world, strung together not by sinew or will, but by foul magic.
Its hands, if they could still be called hands, were grotesquely elongated, fingers bent like hooks, knuckles swollen and split. They curled around a silver tray, the polished surface of which seemed too clean, too immaculate, against the corpse-pallor of its grasp. A domed lid hid what lay upon it.
An Inferius.
Regulus’ stomach twisted as the creature approached the table in slow, dragging steps. Every impact of its bare feet echoed like bells in a mausoleum.
“Please,” Regulus whispered. “Please, no.”
But Walburga was smiling now. Not kindly—never kindly. Her teeth were crooked and yellowed. Her eyes glowed with malicious delight.
“You think we didn’t find out?” she breathed, her voice silken in tone but jagged in meaning, each syllable like shards of glass pressed delicately against his skin. “You think we didn’t notice what you did?”
Regulus shook his head, but the denial came too quickly, too desperate, too empty to convince even himself.
“Oh, we know,” Orion rumbled, walking toward one of the empty chairs. He pulled it back with a groan of old wood. “Sit.”
Regulus didn’t move.
“Sit, Regulus Arcturus Black!”
Walburga’s voice struck like a lash, slicing through the air with the weight of command and curse.
His knees buckled before his mind caught up. The chair was cold beneath him, the carved wood pressing against his spine like fingers. The table stretched long in either direction, covered in black velvet.
The Inferius placed the tray before him and lifted the lid, and Regulus recoiled as if struck.
For there, resting on a bed of black silk, was the locket.
A Horcrux reborn.
Its surface pulsed faintly, as though breathing. Green mist clung to its edges.
Regulus couldn’t look away.
“You brought shame to this family,” Orion intoned, his voice so low it seemed to vibrate through the floorboards, through the marrow of the table itself. “You thought yourself wiser than centuries of blood, cleverer than the weight of tradition.”
“You chose the wrong side,” Walburga whispered, leaning closer, so close that the scent of her breath washed over him like a fog. Her lips curled into something too wide, too eager. “And now, dearest, you’ll see what loyalty costs.”
Then—a laugh.
Soft. Slow. Sardonic.
Sirius stepped from the shadows at the far end of the hall as though he'd always been there watching. The light hit him wrong, casting too-deep shadows across his face. He was older than Regulus remembered, but sharper too—cheekbones like razors, eyes glittering with bitter amusement.
“Well,” he drawled, sauntering forward with theatrical laziness, every step deliberate mockery. “Look at this pathetic little feast.” His grin slanted wider, feral. “All this drama. All this spectacle. For you, Reggie.”
He pulled out a chair across the table and sat, moving with a flourish that mocked their mother’s grandeur, that mocked Regulus’ terror, that mocked everything.
Regulus stared in disbelief.
“No…” he breathed. “You… you’re not…”
“Not what?” Sirius tilted his head, expression mock-thoughtful, his grin deepening. “Not dead? Not disappointed? Not what you needed me to be when you played martyr for a world that never wanted you?” His lips curled, and the smirk he had worn as a teenager reappeared, but now it was darker, twisted, carnivorous.
“I’m what’s left when you fail, brother.”
Regulus shook his head slowly. “You… you would never—”
“Oh, wouldn’t I?”
Sirius rolled back his sleeve, baring the pale skin of his forearm.
The Dark Mark was burned into his arm—fresh, still raw and inflamed, the edges bruised with magic that hadn’t finished settling into the flesh.
He tapped it with two fingers, smirking.
Regulus’ breath hitched. “No,” he whispered, the word cracking apart. “No, you’re lying. You hated him. You hated all of this.”
“I did,” Sirius said, and his tone was as calm as falling snow, as quiet as a blade slipping into the ribs. “Until I realized I was born to inherit it. You were nothing but the trial run.”
He leaned forward over the table, eyes narrowing.
“You were the ghost of a legacy that was meant for me.”
The doors of the dining hall opened again, and Regulus snapped his eyes at the figure standing there.
It was Remus.
But at the same time, it wasn’t.
The figure before Regulus wore his shape—his height, his silhouette, even the familiar tilt of his shoulders. But the details were wrong.
So horribly wrong.
His skin was drawn too tight, almost translucent, as if it had been shrink-wrapped over a dying body. Beneath it, veins pulsed like spiderwebs drawn in ink. His cheeks were hollowed into deep, unnatural grooves, and his lips, bloodless and cracked, seemed stitched to a face that barely remembered how to smile. His hair, usually tousled and soft, now hung in limp, matted strands around his face. His eyes were pale. Void of warmth or recognition. Not golden, not human. Just two flat, lifeless mirrors reflecting nothing. They were the kind of eyes that didn't blink. Didn't see. Didn't feel.
He looked like the Inferius.
And then, it smiled.
A thin, brittle stretch of cracked lips that revealed teeth too white and too sharp—not Remus’ smile. There was no kindness in it. No trace of the boy who had sat with him on the steps of the Astronomy Tower. No compassion.
Only hunger.
And when he spoke… it wasn’t Remus’ voice. It was layered, grotesquely doubled and redoubled, like a chorus of mouths stacked one atop the other: one high and reedy, one low and guttural, one ancient and thick with wetness, the sound of grave earth sliding down stone.
“Run, little Black.”
The voice echoed through the chamber, pressing into Regulus’ skull. Every candle in the room snuffed out in a single breath, like the palace itself had exhaled.
Darkness swallowed everything whole.
For one terrible, suspended moment, Regulus could hear nothing but the hammer of his own heartbeat, loud and frantic.
Then—a scrape.
Soft. Subtle. The drag of a foot against stone.
Another shuffle, slow and deliberate, closing the distance.
Regulus’ chair screeched backward with a violent scrape, his hands fumbling against the carved wood as he shoved himself upright, and then he was running with a desperation that tore his lungs raw, his boots striking the marble with sharp, ringing cracks that thundered in the blackness like gunshots at a funeral.
The table fell away behind him, the cursed locket, the Inferius, the unblinking eyes of his parents—all of it was gone, yet their presence pressed against his back like unseen hands, propelling him forward, deeper, always deeper, into the decaying belly of the house.
Left.
Right.
Stairs—no, corridor—stairs again.
The layout made no sense. It shifted with every step, hallways swallowing each other like serpents eating their tails. Doors appeared just to vanish. Entire walls blinked in and out of existence.
Faster. He had to move faster.
The silence was worse than the sound. Every breath he took echoed, every heartbeat was a hammer in his skull. The cold stuck to him like cobwebs. His mother’s laughter followed first, lilting and shrill, bouncing off the cracked portraits.
“Poor little Regulus,” she crooned, her voice lilting and cruel, swelling from nowhere and everywhere at once. “Always so clever. So noble. So weak.”
He stumbled through an archway, only to find the tapestries along the walls had begun to writhe, their frayed edges stretching into ragged fingers of fabric that clawed and caught at his robes as he passed. One brushed against his ear, and a hiss slid into him like venom.
“You left us to die…”
Regulus wrenched himself free with a snarl, eyes wide, fists clenched, fury and terror bleeding together.
Down the hallway, doors burst open on their own, slamming against the walls with cracks that sounded like bones breaking. Walburga’s voice roared from every wall, layered and distorted, like the house was replaying her screams from every corner.
“You were meant for greatness, Regulus Arcturus Black,” she shrieked. “And you chose to betray your own blood.”
Regulus forced himself faster; his lungs were burning.
The portraits screamed as he passed, their painted mouths tearing open wider than paint should allow, bleeding at the corners, eyes weeping rivulets of red that streamed down the canvas. One ancestor dragged itself halfway out of its frame, fingernails like claws scratching into the wood, shrieking with such fury it rattled his teeth.
“Coward! BLOOD-TRAITOR!”
He ducked beneath it, heart pounding in his throat.
The stairs twisted again, longer this time, leading up, up, up through choking dust and flickering candlelight. The house was not just alive—it was watching. Shifting beneath his feet, dragging him back toward the darkness of the dining room.
Orion’s voice rumbled through the floors like distant thunder.
“You are nothing without the Black name.”
He turned a corner too sharply, stumbled, nearly cracked his skull against the banister, and caught himself with trembling hands. A mirror hung crooked against the wall. For a single, terrible instant, he saw them all reflected there—Walburga, Orion, the Inferius—and behind them, in the farthest dark of the glass, a wolf with golden eyes. Watching. Waiting.
Run, little Black.
He screamed and smashed the mirror with his elbow. Shards scattered across the corridor, catching candlelight like shattered stars.
He didn’t stop.
Up another stairwell.
Behind him, the sound of footsteps grew louder. No longer the dainty tread of a lady. Not a mother’s measured pace. These were thunderous, brutal, inhuman steps. Walburga was stomping, each impact rattling the floor, as though something far larger and hungrier than a woman had slipped under her skin.
“You shamed us!” she howled, her voice booming, reverberating through the walls. “You spat on everything we built! On our Dark Lord!”
A door to his left crashed open, the air spilling out colder than normal. He didn’t need to look—he knew instinctively what it had been once. The drawing room.
But it was no longer a room.
The space beyond had transformed, twisted into something grotesquely familiar. Not mahogany walls and ancestral portraits, but black stone, slick with salt. A cavern yawning open like a wound. The cave.
His vision lurched, his body faltering mid-run as his gaze was dragged helplessly to it.
And there he was.
Another version of himself, younger, gaunter, lips blue from fear and exhaustion, wand trembling in one hand as pale, rotting fingers surged from the water like spears. They grabbed his ankles, his arms, dragging him beneath the surface. The Inferi swarmed around him like maggots burrowing through meat, their faces locked in silent screams, their touch a memory of death before it ever arrived.
His younger self thrashed as the water swallowed him.
Regulus tore his gaze away with violent force, bile burning in his throat. His legs lurched forward, breaking into a sprint.
“Coward!” Walburga’s voice split the air, not from behind him, but everywhere—booming from the walls, slithering through the cracks.
Another door burst open on the right—then another, and another. Every hallway became a gauntlet of memory, and he had no choice but to see.
Each doorway was a stage, and he was the unwilling audience.
In one, he stood at sixteen in the actual drawing room, red-lit and humming with threat. Bellatrix leaned against the hearth, her eyes bright with lunacy, urging him forward. Before him knelt a girl—young, no older than him, her blood status her only crime. He cast the Cruciatus. And he didn’t stop until Bellatrix smiled.
In the next, he saw himself in battle—cutting down Death Eaters in blind fury, their faces half-known, their screams never forgotten. His robes were soaked through with blood. He moved like a machine built for death. A blade. No thoughts. No mercy. No way back.
Another: Avery’s head in his hand, eyes wide in terror. Regulus held him, lips trembling, repeating it would be all right. It had not been.
Door after door. Wound after wound.
He was suffocating on memory, on guilt, on the weight of everything he'd ever done to prove himself worthy of a family that had never truly loved him.
He turned one last corner, lungs burning, heart hammering with such force it felt as though it might shatter his ribs, his legs buckling beneath the weight of exhaustion, each step a battle he was on the verge of losing—
And then he saw it.
The door.
Its wood was faded now, dulled by time and dust, yet still carved with the name he knew by heart, the name that had lived in every fragment of his memory, no matter how viciously he had tried to forget.
Sirius.
It was the only place in the entire house that had never demanded anything of him. No blind obedience. No kneeling at the altar of family and tradition. No apologies offered to fill a silence that was never satisfied. That room had asked for nothing but his presence, and had offered, in exchange, something fragile and priceless: quiet. Half-whispered secrets murmured beneath blankets, laughter that trembled on the edge of defiance, moments where brothers could simply exist, stripped of the weight their name had shackled to them.
That door was a sanctuary.
Regulus did not hesitate. He threw himself at it with every last thread of strength he had, and the wood flew open of its own accord, slamming inward without resistance, as though it had been waiting for him.
The air inside was colder than death, but quiet.
He turned and, with a final, desperate cry, slammed the door shut, then collapsed onto his knees, his chest heaving with great, ragged sobs of air. His wand shook violently in his hand, barely clutched between white-knuckled fingers. He dragged air into his lungs, but it didn’t feel like air at all.
It was so dark inside that he couldn’t even see his hands.
But it was quiet.
No footsteps followed him.
No voices bled through the walls.
No shrieking laughter crawled down the hallways to find him.
Only his own breath remained, too loud, too shallow, echoing back at him from unseen walls, as though the room itself was breathing with him, amplifying every gasp until it became unbearable.
And then—
A voice.
It did not come from behind him, or above him, or from any particular place at all. It came from the dark itself, woven into the silence, soft as a sigh yet clear enough to strike straight through him.
“Regulus.”
He flinched violently, his wand hand jerking upward, eyes wide, scanning the endless black for movement, for shape, for him.
Remus’ voice was low and gentle, exactly as he remembered it, exactly as it had been before they were thrown in this nightmare.
“Open your eyes.”
Notes:
I chose this title because from the very beginning, I made references to Greek Mythology. Even the nickname “sparrow” had something to do with it. Basically, katabasis represents the descent into the underworld, and one of the heroes who did this was Herakles (this is why the first part of this fanfic is called “The Labours”). Also, the pairing of Remus with Regulus was important because the twelfth and final labour was the capture of Cerberus (therefore, his transformation).
From an analytical perspective, this trial represented a way of breaking the limits, assimilating deep emotions, and finally, confronting ancestry (at least for Regulus)
The overall idea came from something that I've read and saved in my notes a while ago - “the descent to Hades means going through an initiatory death, the experience of this type establishes a new way of being” (this is Mircea Eliade, and if you are passionate about the history of religions, I recommend reading his studies) - this will also be relevant for how Reggie's character will change in the futureThat’s it. This is how my brain sometimes malfunctions. If your reaction was “what the fuck did I just read?” Same
Thank you for listening to my TED Talk✨
Chapter 28: Eidolon
Summary:
“Feral Love”- Chelsea Wolfe
“Coma White” – Marilyn Manson
Notes:
As always, pls go wild in the comments because I am really nervous about these chapters🥲
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sirius looked around with a deep frown, his jaw set hard, muscles twitching with restless energy. He had prepared himself for horror, or at least what his mind instinctively defined as horror—the obvious, the grotesque, the things you could fight or flee from. He had braced for entrails spread like garlands across the walls, for shrieks tearing free of unseen throats, for skeletal hands erupting from the floor to drag them into blackness. He had braced for the familiar shapes of fear.
But this was not that.
This was worse.
Not blood. Not screaming.
Mirrors.
The corridor stretched on, long and impossibly narrow, with walls that pressed close enough to make the air itself feel weighted and tight. The silence inside was not true silence but something heavier, threaded with a faint, almost imperceptible hum—like static from a broken radio, or the restless hiss of energy forced into places it didn’t belong.
Mirrors upon mirrors, lined from floor to ceiling, encased in iron frames that curled and coiled with grotesque artistry. The iron was not shaped as human hands would shape it; it twisted like vines, like roots, smooth and strangely organic, as if the frames had grown out of the walls themselves rather than been forged in.
The reflections multiplied endlessly. Sirius and Mary. Sirius and Mary again. Sirius and Mary stretched and echoed into infinity, a thousand versions of themselves vanishing down the tunnel of glass until the end could not be seen. Their bodies repeated in shimmering rows, and with each iteration, the details shifted, warped so subtly that it was painful to notice. Faces slackened into hollowness. Eyes widened too far. Shoulders bent at angles that betrayed anatomy. The deeper you looked, the less human they became, as though something behind the glass was trying to learn how to wear their shapes and had not yet mastered the performance.
Mary shivered audibly beside him, her small intake of breath echoing louder than it should have, as though the mirrors fed on sound the same way they devoured light. Her wand shook faintly in her grip, clutched so tight against her chest that her knuckles had gone chalk-white.
“Where are we?” she whispered, voice thin, breaking before the silence.
“Fuck knows,” Sirius muttered, though his voice carried none of his usual sharp-edged bravado. He pivoted slowly on the spot, scanning the endless corridor, his every movement cautious and deliberate. He wasn’t looking for an obvious attacker anymore, not claws, not fangs, not the straightforward violence of beasts. No. He was searching desperately for something solid. Something real. Anything that was not a distorted version of his own body staring back at him from the infinite glass.
The mirrors did not merely reflect. They consumed. The glow of their wands, meagre as it already was, dulled the moment it touched the glass, swallowed greedily until the corridor seemed darker for their attempts at light. His own reflection stared back at him, but not faithfully. The eyes were wrong. Dull. Hollow. Older, too, like a man who had lived decades more than Sirius had, who had seen every possible failure drag itself across his life. It looked like him, yes, but it moved wrong, wearing his skin without ever having known how to live in it.
He raised a hand toward one of the mirrors, breath slow, and pressed his fingertips lightly against its surface.
Something was wrong with the surface.
The glass was cold, but coldness wasn’t what made his stomach lurch. It did not resist him. It didn’t behave like a mirror at all. His fingers sank, ever so slightly, not through but into the surface, like pressing into still water. Yet the mirror did not ripple. It accepted him, just for an instant, and then decided not to. The surface hardened again with no change, no shift, no explanation, leaving him trembling with the memory of absence.
“We need to walk carefully,” he murmured, his voice no louder than a breath, though even that seemed too loud, too risky. The air around them thickened with every word, as if the glass itself was greedy for sound and wanted to smother it before it could echo away.
Mary stepped close to another mirror, her face tilted toward her own reflection. Her lips parted, ready to speak, but then she stopped, brows pulling tight together, her gaze sharpening into a kind of horror.
“Sirius,” she whispered, her voice threadbare. She pointed a trembling finger at the glass. “Watch.”
“What is it?” Sirius asked, his tone sharp with sudden alertness.
She raised her hand slowly. Her reflection followed the movement exactly, arm lifting with the same hesitation, the same angle. Almost perfectly.
But not quite because it flinched.
Just once. A flicker of movement, too fast, too wrong. An involuntary twitch, like a rat caught in torchlight, like something that had been watching too long and had forgotten to keep still.
Mary froze, her hand suspended halfway to the glass, her breath snagging in her throat.
“Did you see that?” she hissed.
Sirius turned sharply this time, his eyes catching on the reflection’s delay, but by then it had already corrected itself, staring back at them with glassy patience.
“See what?”
“The mirror—it—” Her words tangled in panic. “My reflection moved. I didn’t. But it did.”
Sirius didn’t argue. He didn’t mock her. He only gave her a long, skeptical look, then turned back toward the corridor. If Mary had seen it, then something had happened. And if something had happened, it would happen again.
They began to walk. Slowly. Carefully. Their shoulders drawn tight, their bodies pressed between walls that seemed to close in, the mirrors rising on either side of them like prison bars. Each step echoed unnaturally, not forward but behind them, as though someone, or something, was mimicking their pace a second too late.
Their reflections multiplied with every pace. Distorting. Shifting. Their faces leaned closer in the glass, watching too intently, like hungry dogs at the edge of a fence. And the further they walked, the less those faces resembled anything human at all.
“Fuck! Bloody—” Sirius reeled backward, clutching his face. He glared at the mirror he had collided with, as though it had shifted deliberately into his path. “That one wasn’t supposed to be there.”
“You walked straight into it,” Mary muttered.
“I thought it was a way through! I swear it—” Sirius wheeled back to the glass, teeth bared as though it had mocked him. “There was a gap. I saw it. There was a fucking gap.”
“Well, it’s not a gap now,” Mary said, eyes darting across the endless reflections. Her lips were pale, bloodless. “They’re playing with us.”
He stepped forward again, slower this time, hands out, but the corridor betrayed him once more. He hit another wall of glass with a thud that rattled his teeth. This time, he staggered, almost tripping.
“Bloody bastard piece of—” he growled, rubbing his nose hard, his voice cracking with frustration. “These things are sodding cursed.”
He wasn’t wrong.
The mirrors pulsed faintly now, a subtle throb like a heartbeat, as though the walls themselves had begun to breathe. The further they walked, the less their reflections seemed like mirrors at all. Sirius caught a glimpse of himself in the corner of one frame—his eyes were nothing but pits of black, his mouth stretched far too wide, cracked skin spiderwebbing across his cheeks like shattered porcelain. Another version of him stood with a wand clenched tight, blood pouring steadily from his open mouth, trailing down his chin in thick, glistening ropes.
Mary yanked sharply at his sleeve, and he startled at the touch. Her hand trembled against his arm.
“Don’t look too long. They want us to look. They’re feeding off it.”
He dragged his gaze away from the glass, forcing his chest to expand, forcing air into his lungs. It didn’t help. The air was pressing inward, the mirrors swallowing their fear like wine.
They moved forward, step by slow step, the corridor narrowing, the silence deepening into something suffocating. Each tap of Sirius’ boots was met with another, a beat too late.
The mirrors grew taller as they went, their edges distorting, stretching their reflections until the figures in the glass were too long, too thin, faces stretched like wax melting from bone. Mary’s grip on her wand was white-knuckled, her fingers rigid, bloodless. Sirius had stopped cursing altogether—no muttered complaints, no sharp swears. Just silence. And that silence felt heavier than anything else. It was as though the corridor was demanding it, drawing the sound out of them, smothering their very thoughts.
Mary froze mid-step.
Her head snapped sideways with the sharpness of an animal scenting danger, eyes wide, too wide. Her pupils had shrunk to pinpricks, the whites bright and feverish.
“What did you just say?” she demanded suddenly, her voice jagged as broken glass.
Sirius blinked at her, startled. “What?”
“Say it again.” She moved closer, wand rising between them like a blade. “Say it to my face.”
His mouth opened, confusion thick in his throat.
“Mary, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Black.” Her tone was low, furious, trembling beneath the weight of disbelief. “I heard you.” Her eyes glistened, both wild and wounded. “You said it.”
He lifted his hands slowly, palms outward, stepping back just slightly.
“I didn’t say anything. I’ve been right here, walking next to you the whole time—”
And then he stopped.
Because there it was. An echo.
But it wasn’t his.
From the mirror to his left, his reflection tilted its head slowly, predator-slow, studying him with a hunger that was almost human. A smile, thin and crawling, spread across its mouth until the corners tore. It leaned close to the glass, its breath fogging the inside as though it were alive in there, trapped but waiting.
And it whispered, words dragging out with cruel precision:
“Stupid Mudblood whore, always two steps behind.”
The voice was his. But it wasn’t.
Mary gasped sharply, her breath catching in her throat as though the words had struck her physically. She turned toward Sirius with wide, horrified eyes, then back to the mirror. Her face had gone pale beneath its flush. She couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move.
Sirius followed her gaze and froze.
His reflection hadn’t gone still. It hadn’t resumed its mimicry. It was still leaning forward, still breathing against the glass, watching them. Eyes bright and alive with a hunger he recognized in no living thing. The smirk lingered like a wound carved into its face.
“What—what the fuck is this?” Mary breathed, her voice breaking.
And then, from behind them, another voice whispered.
Mary’s reflection this time.It stood a step behind its glass, watching Sirius with sharp disdain. Its lips curled into a sneer, its voice heavy with venom.
“He’s a Black. They always lie.”
Mary shook her head violently, hair flying, her voice trembling.
“I didn’t say that. I didn’t—”
But the mirrors didn’t stop.
The whispers multiplied. One voice became two, then four, then dozens. Each mirror flickered, like cursed portraits waking in unison. Their reflections twisted into half-forms, mouths opening too wide, eyes rolling black. Versions of Sirius. Versions of Mary. All broken. All watching. All whispering.
“He looks at you like you’re something to pity.”
“You’re not a warrior, Mary. You’re a ghost wearing someone else’s skin.”
“She thinks you’re going to betray them, Black.”
Their voices overlapped, layered, discordant, louder and louder until it was no longer whispers but a cacophony of every word they feared most. The corridor swelled with it, heavy and choking, every reflection leaning closer to the glass like animals pressing against a cage.
Sirius clutched at his head, pressing his palms to his ears, but the sound leaked through his bones.
“Shut up,” he snarled through clenched teeth. “Shut the fuck up.”
The reflections laughed. Not with sound, but visually. Silent, wide-mouthed, hideous. Their joy came cruel and childlike.
Mary turned, spinning in place, trapped in a kaleidoscope of venom. Everywhere she turned, her own face sneered back at her. A hundred versions, lips curling with the same cruel disdain. And her own voice followed, layered and warped, leaking from every surface.
“He’ll leave you behind like he left Regulus.”
“SHUT UP!” Sirius roared, his voice raw as he raised his wand and blasted one of the mirrors with a spray of red light.
The glass shattered with a scream.
A scream too human, too close. Not from the corridor, but from inside the glass. Mary’s reflection was shrieking, clawing against invisible walls as the shards fractured it into a thousand bleeding slivers. Its mouth stretched unnaturally wide in its final moment, a howl of agony frozen mid-suffering.
Silence fell again—sharp and absolute.
The shards rained down like icy snow. Each fragment catching the faint corridor light, gleaming with pieces of a face that no longer belonged to anything real. Sirius stood in the wreckage, chest heaving, the air sharp with the electric tang of magic.
Mary didn’t move. She stood locked in place, staring not at him but at one of the slivers glittering at her feet. Her whole body was rigid, twitching with little jerks, as though strings had been hooked into her joints and tugged in uneven rhythm.
“Mary…?” Sirius lowered his wand a fraction.
No response.
Her head tilted slowly, not like a person, but like a puppet dragged sideways by invisible hands. Her face was calm. Too calm. Serene in a way that made his stomach twist.
Then, softly, like a lullaby sung with malice, she spoke.
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
The voice was wrong.
It was hers, but threaded with something else—low, cold, vibrating beneath her skin like a second voice buried in the flesh.
“What are you talking about?” Sirius asked, his voice cracking, trying to lace his fear with bravado. “MacDonald, come on. Cut the shit.”
“Now she’s gone,” her voice turned lower. Scratchier. A double-tone, as though someone else spoke just beneath her own skin. “She was watching through the glass. And now…” her gaze flicked toward the shattered mirror, then back, “you killed her.”
She turned to face him then, and Sirius took a step back.
Her eyes—they were hollow.
Not blind. Not glazed. Just… vacant. As if the thing inside her had peeled away everything human, hollowed her out, and left only a puppet behind.
Her lips curled into a grin.
“You always were so desperate to be wanted, weren’t you, Sirius?” The voice that came out was hers. But the tone wasn’t.
There was something laced beneath the syllables. Something ancient and hateful. Something that knew him intimately.
“All that charm. All those clever little barbs. But you reek of need, Black. The kind of need that people only tolerate when it’s pretty.”
Sirius raised his wand again, but his hand trembled.
“Mary, that’s not you. Whatever this is—whatever you are—”
“Oh, but I am,” she whispered, taking a step closer. “I’m the part of her that knew. The part she buried, choked on. She didn’t love you, Sirius. She used you. Because people like you can make a girl feel powerful for a while. Until the rust eventually starts showing.”
She tilted her head again, like she was listening to music only she could hear.
“Do you want to know what she thought, Black?”
She stepped closer. He backed up.
“She pitied you. Pity-fucked you, really. You were shiny. Broken in just the right way. Good cheekbones, good arms. But that’s all, isn’t it? Just ornamentation.”
“Shut up,” Sirius muttered, his voice breaking.
“And you thought it meant something. That someone finally saw you.”
Her voice twisted into a cruel mockery of affection.
“She used to think about James, you know? Whenever you kissed her or grunted into her neck. When your breath hitched like a child’s.”
Mary, or the thing inside her, smiled wider. It was grotesque now. Too many teeth. Too much glee.
“You were always just a replacement. Don’t you see? James outgrew you and moved to your brother. Remus…” she tilted her head “he spent more time trying to fix you than love you. He knew you were a house already collapsing on itself.”
Something inside Sirius splintered. Not enough to break. But enough to bleed. He pointed his wand straight at her chest, and for a flickering moment, his hand was steady.
“You’re not her,” he said, his voice shaking now, not with fear, but with grief. “Whatever you are… you’re not Mary.”
She stared at him for a long, terrible moment.
Then tilted her head once more, as if contemplating.
“Aren’t I, though?” she smiled.
Her head snapped violently sideways — too sharp, a crack like a neck breaking — and she crumpled to her knees, gagging, coughing like someone drowning.
Her breath came in ragged, uneven gasps.
Sirius stood over her, wand still raised, frozen in a stance meant for war, not mercy. Every nerve in his body burned. His heart pounded like a war drum in his ears. His mouth was filled with the metallic taste of rage.
“...Sirius?” she croaked, voice thin and shaking. Hers again. Small. Raw.
She looked up at him, and there were tears on her face now, real ones. Streaks of dust cutting through sweat. But he didn’t flinch. He only stared.
Because in every mirror around them, on every wall, every shard, every sliver, she was still smiling.
Sirius eventually lowered his wand an inch, but his eyes remained locked on her like a hunter waiting to see if the beast was truly dead.
“What… what the hell just happened?” she whispered, eyes wild, voice cracking. Her eyes darted across the corridor, then back to him, wide and frantic, as though she half-expected her own reflection to lunge free of the glass and tear her throat open.
Sirius didn't answer because the mirror to his left still held her. Still whispering, silently mouthing every vile word she’d spoken with that same cruel smile.
She looked up at him with pleading eyes, soaked in regret.
“Sirius… I didn’t mean it. I swear. I don’t know what that was. It wasn’t me.”
Her voice cracked again, splitting on the word me, as though the word itself was breaking apart in her throat.
He didn’t respond. Just stared at her like he was trying to decide if she was still the same girl he used to know.
Mary pushed herself up to her feet, stumbling slightly.
“You have to believe me. That voice—it wasn’t mine. I wasn’t in control. I—I couldn’t stop it.”
She turned too quickly. Her elbow grazed a nearby mirror holding Sirius’ reflection. A jagged crack tore across the surface like a lightning bolt, and Sirius felt it in his chest—an instant drop, a plunge into ice.
Then the whisper came. Not from the mirrors, but from inside him.
Look at her, she pities you. Just like Remus did.
His hand clenched around his wand until his knuckles turned bone-white.
Mary turned back, mouth opening, apology already trembling on her lips.
“Sirius, I—"
His head tilted slightly, and for a moment, his expression softened. Then the mask dropped, and what was left was hate.
“You know what?” His voice was low, almost conversational, but it crawled beneath the skin like poison. “Maybe you did mean it.”
Mary blinked.
“What?”
“Maybe that was you.” His words grew slower, deliberate. “Just without the filter. Just the real you—spitting out every rotten thing you’ve been choking on for years. Too afraid to say it, too afraid to own it. Until now.”
Her body flinched backward. She took a stumbling step away from him, as though the words themselves struck her.
“Sirius—”
“Oh, spare me the trembling lip act,” he sneered. “You were never good at pretending. You talk like you’re one of us, like you belong in this war, but all you are is a little girl playing rebellion. Playing dress-up with blood you’ve never earned."
Her jaw tensed.
“That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” He laughed, but it wasn’t laughter—it was a jagged bark, bitter and joyless, splintering from his chest. “You want fair? Do you think I loved you? That Lily loves you? Is that what this is? That you’re something special?” His eyes gleamed in the fractured light, too bright, almost manic. “Is that what you’ve been clinging to? That any of us saw you as more than a shadow tagging along?”
She opened her mouth, but no sound came.
“I needed something to forget,” Sirius said, taking a step forward. “You were convenient. That’s all. A distraction with good legs and terrible taste in men.”
Mary reeled. Her wand rose slightly, but her hand shook too much to aim.
“Don’t,” she whispered, her voice a fragile thread stretched too thin.
The whisper inside him pulsed again.
She hates you now.
And then, almost sweetly—
Good.
Sirius smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes.
“Go ahead. Do it.”
Her hand trembled harder.
“Go on, then.” His voice dropped to something almost gentle, almost coaxing. He stepped closer, lifting his chin like a sinner presenting his throat for execution. “Do it. Kill me. You’d be doing me a fucking favour. Kill me MacDonald. Fucking do something right for the first time in your life!”
Mary screamed.
A raw, soul-deep scream—not from fury, but from heartbreak. From something shattering far too close to the core.
She flung her palm at him, slapping him hard against the cheek, making Sirius stagger backward. Breath caught in his throat like a snapped string. The icy claws wrapped around his ribs loosened and slipped away. The whisper in his skull, the one that had been feeding him poison, retreated. Not gone, never gone. But softer. Waiting.
He blinked.
Mary stood shaking, tears coursing down her face in rivulets that cut stark lines through the dust and grime. Her expression had collapsed inward, no longer a face so much as something crumpled.
Sirius’ voice, when it came, was nothing more than a whisper. A question spoken to a ghost already vanishing before his eyes.
“What did I say?”
Mary didn’t answer.
She only turned away.
And for the first time in his life, Sirius Black did not stop someone walking away from him.
Behind them, the broken mirror began to bleed. Not light, not glass, but shadows. Black tendrils oozed outward like ink spilled in reverse, crawling upward into the cracks, fattening the fissures, hungry for more.
The other mirrors stirred. They had been silent before—deathly still, like predators crouched in waiting. But now they leaned inward, their reflections pressing closer to the glass, lips twitching into conspiratorial grins. Murmuring. Whispering. Secrets that curled through the air like smoke, twisting the edges of reality, sliding into the folds of thought
And then, as if the mirrors themselves had grown tired of words, the whispers changed.
From syllables to sound.
From sound to screaming.
One by one, the mirrors began to shatter. Not all at once—not in a single wave of violence. But slowly, methodically, like an orchestra tuning itself to madness.
Crack. A spidering fracture streaked across the mirror to their left.
Crash. Another exploded in shards behind them.
And then the reflections began to climb out.
Hands first. Fingers too long, too white, slick with something that glistened like oil. Then arms, then faces—bloated parodies of themselves, grinning and twitching, jaws stretched too wide, eyes that jerked instead of blinked. Twisted mockeries. Echoes of themselves stripped of soul.
“RUN!” Sirius roared, his voice breaking into something raw, half-human, half-animal, as he lunged and seized Mary’s wrist with a grip that promised he’d break bone before letting go.
She didn’t hesitate, and they bolted, feet pounding across the stone floor that now rippled like liquid glass beneath them. Every step sent fresh fractures racing along the mirrors, the sound of cracking glass so relentless it became its own kind of silence.
The reflections reached from either side, their arms stretching too far, mouths gaping black and hungry, trying to latch onto their skin, or minds, whatever was more accessible.
Mary let out a high, ragged scream as one of the reflections caught a fistful of her hair, yanking her back. Sirius turned with desperation, slashing the air with his wand, sending a curse that hit like a hammer, shattering the mirror behind the creature and sending it screaming back into the pile of jagged glass.
“GO!” he roared.
They ran, carefully dodging the crawling bodies, as the world itself seemed to disintegrate around them. Shards of mirrors flew through the air, some of them cutting into their skin. The corridor twisted beneath their feet, shifting in impossible angles, as though the very architecture had become sentient and malevolent.
The path kept shifting, hallways folding in on themselves like a labyrinth ruled by madness.
Sirius slammed shoulder-first into a dead end.
“NO—no, this wasn’t here-this wasn’t fucking here before—”
Mary’s hand shot out, grabbing his arm with more strength than he thought she had left. Her eyes were wild.
“There!” she pointed with her finger at a small gap, barely noticeable.
It was a sliver of space between two tall mirrors, just wide enough to slip through if they forced themselves a little.
They squeezed through the gap, glass scraping their backs, and Sirius felt something warm and slick run along his arm. He knew it was blood, but he refused to acknowledge it. Not when those things dragging their way forward were howling with anger and hunger.
“Keep going!” he shouted, voice hoarse now, lungs on fire.
They stumbled forward, breathless and panicked. The corridor ahead shimmered with distorted reflections, but those were normal, harmless even.
And then, they finally saw something at the end of the corridor. They approached it and realised that it was another mirror, but this time, it didn’t show any reflection. It showed a space.
“It’s a door,” Sirius spoke.
“You don’t mean to—”
“Do you have a better idea?” he looked at Mary, “it’s either this or going back to those wretched things.”
Mary gulped, then studied the door. After a pause, she eventually nodded.
Sirius didn’t allow her enough time to change her mind and grabbed Mary and threw himself forward, barely registering the way the air around them shifted as they passed through the frame and landed on cold stone.
They scrambled to their feet, adrenaline still screaming through every cell. The room they’d landed in was different. The ceiling was so tall, it was lost in blackness. The walls were so smooth, it looked like the stone had been polished to near gloss. Despite this, they were not reflective.
Sirius waved his hand and realised that he was no longer holding Mary’s hand. He turned to look after her and gasped when he noticed that a wall of glass stood between them.
Not another mirror, but a flawless pane. Like a massive aquarium window set into the room.
“Sirius?” Mary’s voice was distorted. Her hands slapped the glass between them, frantic. “Sirius, what the hell is this? Get me out!”
He lunged forward, slamming his palms against the barrier.
“Mary! Fuck—stay there, alright? I’ll find a way to get you out. Just don’t move.”
Something chuckled behind him. Low and dark, and Sirius’ head jerked toward the sound, his spine already tightening.
Standing in front of him was someone who looked just like him. Same in front of Mary.
Sirius' double wore a twisted smirk, his wand lazily flipping between his long fingers. Mary’s reflection looked sunken-eyed, her hands twitching as if itching for violence. He reminded Sirius a little of Bellatrix. It was the same predatory gaze.
Mary stepped forward and her reflection mirrored her perfectly…until it tilted its head in the opposite direction.
“What the hell is this?” she whispered.
Sirius raised a hand and touched the glass. His double’s grin widened as if the contact had tickled him.
“They’re us,” he breathed.
“No,” Mary murmured, shaking her head. “No, this isn’t right.”
Her double stepped forward in perfect synchrony, but her expression twisted, sharp with derision.
When it spoke, it was Mary’s voice, but not the way others heard it. It was her voice as she heard it in her own head, cracked at the edges, heavy with self-doubt and shame, like every syllable came laced with poison.
“Come on, Mary, be honest. This is what you see every time you look in a mirror, isn’t it? A fraud. A Muggle-born pretending to matter something in their world.”
Mary flinched, her lips parting as if to argue, but nothing came out.
“You think knowing a bunch of spells makes you one of them?” the double hissed. “You think kissing Sirius Black means anything? You’re nothing more than a pet. You’ll always be second-class. Always tolerated.”
“Shut up,” Mary said, voice shaking.
“You’re nothing without your wand,” her reflection crooned. “And even with it, you’ll never be enough.”
“Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch” Mary hissed, and the glass between them shuddered. A hairline crack crept along the bottom corner.
Sirius’ fists curled at his sides. His jaw clenched so tight it ached.
Across from him, his double hadn’t moved an inch. He was just standing there, grinning. When he finally spoke, it was like hearing himself from the bottom of a well.
“You think you’re better than me?” the double drawled. “You think you’ve escaped them? You reek of them. You carry them in your marrow.”
Sirius stepped forward, his expression darkening.
“Accept the truth, Sirius,” the reflection drawled. “You’re your mother’s rage. Your father’s disdain. You hated Regulus because he tried to be them, but you hate yourself even more because you are them.”
“No—”
“You lash out. You burn things. You chase danger because it’s the only thing that makes you feel real. You keep telling yourself that you’re free, but you’re still begging for approval. From James. From Remus. From anyone who’ll look at you like you’re not what you were born to be.”
“Don’t speak their names,” Sirius growled, tightening his grip around his wand.
The crack stretched farther now, a delicate lightning bolt slicing upward, webbing out like nerves fraying under pressure.
In her part of the room, Mary staggered back, a hand pressed over her mouth.
“You’re lying,” she gasped. “You’re not real—”
But her double touched her cheek, and Mary gasped as she felt the ghostly touch on her own.
“Then why do I sound exactly like the voice in your head? Why do I feel exactly like you?”
Sirius’ breath caught in his throat. It was too much. Too accurate.
“Stop,” he croaked, barely audible.
The doubles, twins born from guilt, grinned in perfect synchronicity. The room tilted slightly, just enough for the world to feel like it might slide off its axis.
“You were never enough,” Mary’s whispered, head tilting at a sick angle.
“And you’ll never change,” Sirius’ hissed, eyes like dripping tar.
The glass vibrated. Not from sound, not from motion, but from pressure. Like the room itself was suffocating under the weight of two truths too ugly to name. With each of their refusal to acknowledge their dark selves, the crack surged upward.
And suddenly the room smelled like memories they never wanted to keep—the smell of burning skin, the heavy smell of old blood, Walburga’s perfume.
They weren’t just looking at themselves. They were looking at what they could have been.
Mary’s hand shot out, slamming into the glass, palm flat, tears blurring her vision.
“I know who I am!”
Her reflection smiled then. Not cruel this time, but pitying.
“Let us take it from you,” it whispered. “All the shame. All the doubt. We can wear it better.”
Mary’s hand trembled. Her breath came in sharp, shallow gasps. Her knees almost gave way.
On the other side of the glass, Sirius Black stared at himself.
His double no longer wore that cruel smirk. It had softened into something worse: a look of calculated compassion, of gentle inevitability. The expression someone would wear while putting down a wounded animal.
“You don’t have to keep pretending,” the dark Sirius said, voice silky. “Let me carry it. The guilt. The failure. The disappointment. Let me wear your skin. Let me bleed for you, fall for you, burn for you. Let me be the bad son. The broken brother. You… you can just rest.”
Sirius’ chest clenched. His breath hitched.
God, it sounded so easy. So right. Just one breath, just a blink, and he could give it all away. The constant ache in his ribs.
The memories clawing at his insides like vines growing inward from every wound.
And for a moment, he swayed toward it because, truth be told, the offer didn’t feel like a threat. It felt like peace.
Peace, what an odd word, Sirius thought.
But it was odd, because for Sirius, peace was where Moony was.
I will love you until the end of the world. And if it ends too soon, I will find you in the next one and continue.
Moony told him this once, when the world felt impossible. When they were trying to find their own safe haven.
How could he leave his Moony with that?
He turned his head and looked at Mary. She stood on the other side of the glass, head bowed, shoulders curled inward. Her reflection leaned in, whispering things he couldn’t hear, but the way her body shook told him enough.
“Mary!” he called out, banging on the glass between them. “Mary, don’t listen to it!”
She didn’t move.
Instead, her double reached out a pale hand, too smooth in the low light, and brushed her temple with delicate fingers. As if it was tucking away a stray strand of hair before gutting her soul.
“We’ll love you in ways they never could,” it crooned, lips barely moving. “We’ll make you enough.”
“Stop it!” Sirius howled, slamming both palms against the glass. “That thing—it's not you, Mary! It’s a parasite, feeding on your pain!”
Her reflection turned slowly, head cocked to the side like a curious vulture. Its smile widened, grotesquely tender.
“She’s tired, Sirius. Let us take it from here. Let us carry your burdens. Let us set you free.”
Something snapped in him. A thread stretched too tight finally breaking.
“No.” He stepped back, voice low, shaking. “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to win.”
He raised his fist and slammed it into the glass.
Crack.
Another punch, more jagged veins snaking across the surface.
Crack.
Mary blinked, finally looking up.
“Mary!” he cried, blood dripping down his fingers. “Look at me!”
Another punch, another crack.
“You’re Mary MacDonald, for fucks sake! You’re not weak. Lily is waiting for you at home! You don’t need saving, and you sure as hell don’t need them!”
One final slam.
CRACK.
The glass between them exploded outward in a rain of light and shadow.
The reflections shrieked as their bodies twisted into smoke, their features melting and warping as if the illusion had been revoked. They crumbled, screaming like dying gods, and then dissolved into dust that sparkled, then vanished.
Sirius stumbled forward through the shards, breathing hard, bleeding from one knuckle.
Mary caught herself, gasping as if coming up from underwater. Her eyes were wide, but clear again.
Their gazes met, and in that instant, everything that had almost been lost came rushing back.
They stood in the centre of the shattered chamber, chest to chest, shaking. The air buzzed with static, but beneath it was something lighter.
Sirius reached for her, and Mary didn’t hesitate. He grabbed his hand, and they both turned and watched the space where the doubles had once stood.
There was a door now. Tall, arched, carved from ancient stone, etched with runes that pulsed in slow, silver-blue waves.
An exit, but not just out of the room.
But out of the lie. Out of the prison of self-perception.
They turned toward it and, as the last of the mirror dust floated down around them like snow, they walked through it.
Notes:
In mythology, an eidolon is often a ghostly double of a person. Sirius and Mary are confronted not with real monsters, but with their “eidola”, a hostile version of themselves, born from fear and shame. For the climax of the chapter (their doubles trying to replace them), I took my inspiration from Helen of Troy’s eidolon and how her spirit-image was sent to Troy, while the real Helen remained in Egypt.
I chose Sirius and Mary as a pair because both of them are, in very different ways, locked in battle with their own inner demons. Mary, as a Muggleborn, is well aware that she will always be excluded from Voldemort’s new world, which is obsessed with blood status. Meanwhile, Sirius is trying to renounce the values of his family, yet from the very beginning of the fanfic, there are hints that he carries within the same darkness that he claims to despise. Even Regulus tells him that he is becoming a copy of Walburga. Both characters live on the edge of becoming what they fear most, which makes the idea of an eidolon especially fitting
Chapter 29: Labyrinth of Chronos
Summary:
Hello, hello, another chapter, another myth from yours truly 💁♀️
While proofreading, I must have read this chapter four or five times. And every single time I added one more detail. At some point, I flat-out refused to read it again, because it just kept getting longer and longer and, of course, no less chaotic
HOPEFULLY, this chapter makes sense. In my head, it did, but well, you know how it goes. The devil is in the details, or wherever he decided to reside in this fanfic 🤡
Chapter Text
Evan had Apparated more times than he could count. Alone, in a rush, or with someone clinging to his arms, it had never really mattered much to him. The act itself was usually nothing. Just a pull, a twist, a blink, and the world simply rearranged itself. He’d even learned to enjoy the faint disorientation that followed.
But this wasn’t that. It wasn’t the hazy fade of drifting from one place to another. This felt violent and deliberate, as if some invisible hand had seized the edges of reality and wrung them like a wet rag. He couldn’t even breathe properly, let alone think.
Marlene, on the other hand, always hated Apparating. Not feared, mind you. She’d mastered the mechanics well enough in her sixth year and earned the licence without a single splinch.
Apparition always made her nauseous enough to want to spill her insides on the cobblestones the moment she arrived.
This time, though, it was worse. So much worse. It felt like her body had been dragged through space. When she landed, if what happened could be called like this, Marlene’s knees nearly gave away beneath her. Her balance lurched, and the ground under her boots lost its solidity for a second. A sharp pressure built in her ears, and then, like the crack of ice giving way, there came the sound of displaced magic, sharp and resonant. The noise rang in her skull, echoing long after it should have faded.
The air here was strange, as though each breath was sliding down her throat rather than flowing. She blinked hard, trying to force her vision to cooperate, and slowly, shapes swam into focus.
The space was vast, but not in any way she’d ever known vastness. There were no walls in sight, and yet there was a vague sense of enclosure. The stillness was unnatural, as if the air itself had been ordered not to move.
The quiet pressed on her like a weight, heavy enough to make her heartbeat loud.
Beneath her boots stretched a floor of polished black stone that caught the light wrong. Her reflection stared back at her in warped fragments, her features stretched long one moment, compressed the next, as if the surface was moving. Or breathing? Marlene couldn’t tell.
Most of the ceiling lay under a smothering blanket of shadow, but here and there, delicate filaments of pale light pulsed faintly, threading through the dark.
In the exact centre of the space stood a clock, taller than any man. It wasn’t any normal ornament or a practical wall-hanger, but something colossal, that was not the product of any human craftsman. It looked like something that had been carved directly from a tree. The casing was blackened, the wood charred but somehow alive, the grain shifting when she looked too long.
Its face was silvery white, the hands impossibly thin, spider-like things, tapering into needle points. They trembled faintly but, curious enough, not with the steady rhythm of a clock in motion, but with the restless tension of something straining. The ticking sound that came from it wasn’t mechanical at all; it was wet, almost organic, as if some unseen muscle flexed and released inside its frame.
Each sound seemed to echo directly inside her skull, bypassing her ears entirely.
“What… where—” The words scraped out of Marlene’s throat.
Evan’s gaze was locked on the clock, his body gone rigid. His breath caught, sharp and deliberate, and his expression shifted into something grim. He stared at it the way one might look at an executioner’s axe when the blade has already begun to fall.
“The Room of Time,” he said as if that would explain anything.
Before she could ask what that was supposed to mean for them, the clock’s minute hand lurched forward with a single, violent tick, and the world dissolved around them.
It happened all at once and in an unbearable slow motion. Every sound collapsed inward, crushed into a single, piercing note that tore through her head. The floor, the ceiling, the vastness—they bent inward, shattering like glass. She reached for balance, for something solid, but the darkness moved too fast.
When her sight returned, she was no longer in the Room.
The air was heavy and warm, the scent of old paper and polished wood invading Marlene’s senses before she could even open her eyes. The carpet under her boots was thick and soft, though she knew it shouldn’t have been there a heartbeat ago. Golden light poured in from a tall window to her left, catching dust motes that drifted in lazy spirals. A painfully familiar smell, toast and lemon tea, and laundry soap, hit her chest so hard she nearly staggered.
This was her childhood living room.
And there, on the couch, she saw herself. Well, a smaller version of herself. Hair in a messy braid, socks half-pulled down, a spot of blue colour just under her left eye. Her legs swung above the carpet, kicking nervously in the air. Her mother sat beside her, hand resting gently on her back. Her father stood over them, holding an envelope, thick, yellowish parchment, sealed with dark red wax. She didn’t need to look closely because she already knew that it had Hogwarts’ crest.
She knew what happened next. She’d lived it. But knowing didn’t prepare her for feeling it again.
The little Marlene took the letter with trembling fingers, eyes wide, the kind of wide that swallowed everything. She looked up to her parents, who were both grinning, proud and delighted, laughing over each other’s voices about “how clever” and “how extraordinary” their little Marls was. They hugged her, pulled her in tight, as though the letter had just confirmed something they’d always known: that she was something special.
The memory shimmered, and then it began again.
The same sunlight through the window. The same swinging legs. The same wax seal. The same hug that made her chest ache. Over and over again, in a perfect loop, like the world refused to move forward. Marlene’s throat tightened, not because it was painful, but because she didn’t know how long it had been since anyone had looked at her like that.
A sharp breath beside her reminded her she wasn’t alone.
Evan stood frozen, eyes locked on something just to the right.
She turned and saw him as a boy. He was taller than she’d expected, already with the posture of someone told to stand up straight every second of his life. His hair was neater, his expression careful and deliberate, even back then.
He sat in a long, oak-panelled dining room. The windows were shut tight despite the summer sun, and the air felt still enough to choke on. His father was at the head of the table, upright as a statue, while his mother watched with a restrained smile that never touched her eyes, her hands folded in her lap.
Another figure sat beside young Evan—his twin sister. Pandora.
She was the opposite of her brother. Barefoot, hair in loose waves, a small grin curling on her lips as she watched the two envelopes arrive in quick succession. One for her, one for him. Her excitement filled the space like a gust of fresh air, though she kept darting glances at her brother, urging him to match her smile.
He didn’t. He just looked straight ahead, his eyes flicking from the envelopes to their parents. As if waiting for approval to show any emotion.
Their father spoke something about duty, about reputation, about what was expected of an “heir to the family name.”
Their mother reminded them of the responsibility they carried “as a reflection of this house.”
Pandora’s smile dimmed, but she still nudged Evan’s hand under the table.
The scene cut off there, and then it began again.
The dining room. The letters. His father’s lecture. Pandora’s quiet defiance. Again. And again. Each time, Evan’s eyes lingered on her a little longer, as if trying to hold onto that version of her a little longer. It was the first time he saw her alive, after the siege, after the world took her from him.
When the loop restarted a fourth time, his shoulders had drawn tight, hands curling into fists.
The two loops ran side by side. Marlene’s sunlit living room, Evan’s suffocating dining room, like old film reels projected on opposite walls of the same invisible theatre.
But something was wrong. The edges began to fray.
At first, it was subtle. Just a flicker in the corner of Marlene’s vision—her mother’s sleeve blurring, her father’s voice stretching unnaturally before snapping back. In Evan’s memory, a shadow pooled in one corner of the dining room, creeping toward Pandora’s chair.
The light in both rooms dimmed.
Her childhood home’s window began to show the wrong view, no longer a row of brick houses across the street, but a wheat field under a grey sky. In Evan’s memory, the wood grain on the dining table writhed, twisting into shapes that looked like stalks of grass swaying in a wind no one could feel.
Then the floors changed as the second hand twitched. Marlene grabbed Evan’s arm, but before she could speak, the clock struck and the world folded again.
They were in Hogsmeade now.
Snow clung to the edges of slate rooftops, melting in slow, fat drops down the glass panes of shop windows. The air was sharp with the smell of butterbeer drifting from the Three Broomsticks, laughter and voices spilling into the street as students passed in clusters, scarves fluttering and arms linked.
Marlene knew the day instantly. It was her fifth year.
She was standing outside Quality Quidditch Supplies, staring at a display of brand-new Nimbus 1700s she could never afford, when the door swung open and someone stepped out.
Dorcas Meadowes.
A scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, cheeks pink from the cold. She carried a small brown paper bag, the top folded neatly over. When she saw Marlene, she hesitated, not shy exactly, but as if weighing whether to speak or move on.
“You’re blocking the display, you know,” Dorcas said eventually, a half-smile tugging at her mouth.
Marlene flushed. “Oh—sorry. Just… admiring. They’re a bit out of my league.”
Dorcas tilted her head, studying her.
“You play?”
“Chaser,” Marlene said quickly. “What about you?” she asked, trying to sound casual.
“I watch,” Dorcas shrugged. “Not much of a flyer, but I like the game.” She shifted the paper bag to her other hand. “Had to sneak away for this, actually. Reg and Barty were busy arguing about who’s better, the Magpies or the Falcons.”
“What about you?”
“I said Puddlemere United.”
Marlene grinned.
“Good answer.”
Dorcas’s smile widened.
“Thought you’d approve.” She glanced down the street toward where the two boys were probably still bickering, then back to Marlene. “You’re in my Charms class, aren’t you? Always sit by the window.”
Marlene blinked.
“You noticed that?”
“Hard not to,” Dorcas said, her voice softer now. “You always look like you’re thinking about something better than whatever Flitwick’s saying.”
Marlene laughed quietly.
“Maybe I am.”
For a moment, neither of them moved. Snowflakes drifted between them, catching in Dorcas’s hair.
“You want to walk back together?” Dorcas asked.
Marlene’s pulse quickened.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
They turned down the main street, the smell of butterbeer following them. Marlene caught herself watching Dorcas’s profile, the curve of her mouth when she spoke, the way she tilted her head when she listened. Something in her chest, something new, was settling in, warm despite the cold.
It was the first spark. She felt it then, before she even understood what it meant.
The snow fell harder around her, and the shop door swung open again. Dorcas stepped out.
“You’re blocking the display, you know.”
The snow and the warm smell of butterbeer faded.
The street in Hogsmeade dimmed, blurring at the edges like wet paint, and Marlene’s voice became a faraway hum.
When the shapes settled again, Evan knew exactly where and when he was.
The Slytherin common room.
The fire burned low, throwing thin gold lines across the greenish gloom. All of the students had gone to sleep; only the muffled hush of the lake outside broke the stillness.
Barty sat on the floor near the fire, knees drawn up, a bottle of something dark dangling loosely from one hand. Firewhiskey probably. His hair was a little longer than usual, falling over his eyes, and the shadows under them told a story Evan already knew. He had watched the whole thing happen for months.
Regulus had been absent in every way since the summer break, leaving behind the wreckage of an on-again, off-again thing that had worn Barty down until he was nothing but sharp edges and hollow places.
Barty glanced up when Evan came down from the dorm. “Couldn’t sleep?”
Evan shook his head, dropping into the armchair nearest him. “Neither could you.”
Barty gave a low laugh that had no humour in it.
“Sleeping is for people who don’t have a thousand thoughts beating each other to death in their skulls.”
Evan had nothing to say. What could he say anyway? Sorry for choosing him? That would have meant hitting a man who was already down.
“You’ve been quiet lately,” he finally murmured after the silence between them turned too uncomfortable.
Barty tilted his head, looking at the boy from over his shoulder.
“What do you want me to say, Evan? That I’m fine? Crack a joke and pretend that nothing happened? I can do that.”
“No,” Evan sighed. “I need you to say something true.”
Barty’s smile was crooked, almost brittle in the dim light.
“Truth is a rare thing these days, Evan,” he whispered, staring back into the fire. “And to be honest, I don’t think it matters anymore.”
“It matters to me,” Evan said. “You matter, Barty. You always did. You were just too…blind to see.”
Something shifted in Barty’s expression then. Not the flippant mask he wore for the world, not the cutting wit or the cold front, but something vulnerable. The version of him Evan had only ever seen in rare, unguarded moments.
“You’ve always been too good to me,” Barty murmured, almost like he was talking to himself.
Evan’s throat tightened.
“I wanted to be.”
Barty looked at him for a long moment. “Why? I've been such an ass to you.”
The answer was on Evan’s tongue before he could stop it.
“Because I—” He bit it back, but not fast enough.
Barty’s gaze sharpened, something unreadable flickering there. He set the bottle down, got to his knees, and moved closer. Close enough that Evan could see the fine gold flecks in his irises, feel the way his breathing slowed.
“Say it,” Barty said quietly, his fingers flexing at his side.
Evan’s heart was pounding in his ears.
“Because I’ve wanted you for longer than you’ll ever believe.”
Barty’s mouth curved, not into a smirk, but something warmer. Softer.
Evan watched the memory and smiled. He still remembered that kiss. How careful and soft it has been. Like both of them were afraid to shatter whatever fragile thing had just been born between them. The fire popped once, sending a brief wash of heat over their faces.
The shadows shifted around him, and Barty was sitting again on the floor near the fire, knees drawn up, a bottle dangling from one hand.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
The same words. The same tired look.
The firelight in the Slytherin common room faltered.
The warmth bled away, replaced now by a low, rattling hum that seemed to come from under the floor.
The clock was there again, its skeletal frame looming in the corner of Evan’s vision. The wet ticking was louder now, almost smug. The minute hand jerked forward, and the world tore open again.
Heat slammed into Marlene’s skin, the smell of smoke and iron choking her before she could breathe. The light was wrong again, orange and violent, coming from fires burning in half-collapsed buildings. The air vibrated with shouts and the distant boom of spells striking stone.
She was on her knees in the mud, her hands slick with blood. Sirius lay on the ground before her, his skin pale, his shirt torn wide at the shoulder where something jagged and blackened had carved deep into his flesh.
“Stay with me, damn it—” Her voice cracked, the words tumbling out as she pressed both hands to the wound.
Sirius coughed, red spattering across his lips.
“Not… going anywhere…”
“Don’t talk.” She reached for her wand, muttering a counter curse under her breath, but her hand was shaking too hard.
“Marlene—” James’ voice, high and ragged, cut through the chaos. He was pacing just a few feet away, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat and grime. His eyes were wide, darting between her and the flashes of light exploding in the distance.
“We have to move! They’re regrouping—”
“I can’t move him like this!” she snapped, panic flaring in her chest. “If I lift him now, he’ll bleed out!”
Another explosion shook the ground, sending clumps of dirt raining down. James swore under his breath, gripping his wand so tightly his knuckles went white.
Sirius gave a strangled laugh that turned into a cough.
“You two are… terrible at bedside manner…”
“Shut up,” Marlene said fiercely, pressing her palm harder against the wound. “You’re not dying here, Sirius. Do you hear me?”
Somewhere behind them, glass shattered, followed by a deep, echoing voice shouting a curse she didn’t recognize. The ground quaked again under her feet.
James crouched beside her, his own hands pressed against Sirius’ shoulder.
“Tell me what to do, Marls.”
“Keep pressure on the wound,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’m going to try sealing it. Just—don’t let go, no matter what.”
She raised her wand again, focusing past the noise, past the stench of smoke and blood, past the raw terror clawing at her throat—
The world flickered, and for a split second, she saw the living room from her childhood. Her mother’s smile. The wax seal in her hands.
And then it was replaced again by blood and a nearly dying Sirius.
She felt the ground drop an inch beneath her knees.
The ticking was louder now. Closer.
She knew what it meant. The loop was already winding itself into place, waiting for the strike.
Evan’s world also snapped.
There was cold stone under his knees. The smell of damp and blood flooded his nostrils. The place was illuminated by one single torch.
Regulus was sprawled on the cave floor, his shirt ripped open and soaked in blood that was far too dark, pooling fast beneath him. His skin was waxy pale, and his lips were starting to turn blue. There was a tear in his side, not clean, not the work of a blade alone, but magic, also. Magic that burned too deep to be kept under control or reversed.
“I will need you to hold him still—” Evan’s voice was already hoarse, his hands shaking as he pressed a folded cloak against the wound. Blood soaked it in seconds.
“Merlin, he’s bleeding out—”
“I told him not to go—” Barty’s voice was wild, slightly pitched from the panic. He was pacing, his eyes darting everywhere but the wound. “I told him this was suicide, I told him—”
“Barty!” Evan snapped. “I need you here, not falling apart. Look into my bag and bring me the flask of water and a clean cloth, now!”
Barty scrambled to the corner, rummaging through a battered satchel.
“Why isn’t he waking up? Why—”
“Because he’s lost too much blood already,” Evan growled, peeling the cloak back just enough to see the damage. His stomach churned. “I’m going to have to stitch it shut, magical stitching will not be holding—”
Regulus stirred faintly, eyes fluttering half-open.
“You’re loud,” he rasped, his voice thin and broken.
“Good,” Evan said tightly. “Means you’re still alive.”
Barty dropped to his knees beside them with a canteen and a torn strip of linen. His hands were trembling so badly that he almost dropped both.
“Hold his shoulders,” he ordered, snatching the linen. “If he thrashes, the wound will get worse.”
Barty obeyed, though his grip was unsteady.
“You can fix this,” he said quickly, urgently, like if he said it enough times it would be true. “You’ve fixed worse—”
“I’ve never fixed this much blood loss in a damp cave while the whole world’s trying to kill us!” Evan snapped, fumbling with the needle and thread.
Regulus coughed weakly, a thin line of red trailing from the corner of his mouth.
“If… if I die, tell Mother—”
“Shut up,” Evan barked, the word cutting sharper than he intended. “You’re not dying. Not tonight.”
Barty’s voice broke.
“What the fuck was in your head to—"
“Barty,” Evan said, softer this time but still sharp, “look at me. We keep him breathing, we get him out, then we argue about what he was thinking. Understood?”
Barty nodded too quickly, his eyes glassy.
The needle slid into skin and Regulus hissed. Evan kept his stitches small, working fast while praying to anything listening that he’d beat the clock — not the one on the wall, the other one, the one counting down inside Regulus’ body.
The torchlight flickered. The shadows stretched unnaturally long along the cave walls.
Somewhere behind him, Evan heard it:
Tick.
The sound vibrated through the stone.
He stitched faster.
“Stay with me, Reg,” he murmured, more to himself than to the boy sprawled on the cave’s floor.
The wound was halfway closed when the sound came again.
Not a chime. Not a tick, but a wet, snapping crack that vibrated through the stone.
The clock had struck and the torchlight flared, blinding him for a heartbeat. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness again, he was still kneeling over Regulus, only the blood was everywhere now, soaking Evan’s hands to the wrist. No matter how fast he pressed the linen, it wouldn’t stop. Barty was already crying, shaking Regulus by the shoulders and screaming his name.
Then, just as quickly, Regulus was gone.
The blood was gone. The floor where he’d been lying was bare and cold.
Barty was still there, eyes wild, grabbing Evan by the collar.
“You let him die!” Barty shouted, shoving him back so hard his head almost hit stone. “You let him—”
Tick.
Regulus again, but this time screaming, thrashing so hard Barty couldn’t hold him. Blood fountained from his side with every movement. Evan’s hands slipped in it, losing the stitches as fast as he made them.
Tick.
Regulus’ body lay still. Eyes open. Mouth parted like he was about to speak.
Tick.
The loops came faster now. No clean start, no predictable beat, just jagged cuts from one moment to another, like someone was slicing frames out of film and shoving them back in the wrong order.
Barty’s voice warped with each version.
Sometimes pleading. Sometimes laughing like it wasn’t real. Sometimes he didn’t speak at all, just stared at Evan with an expression that hollowed him out.
Somewhere else, in her own loop, Marlene was on her knees over Sirius again.
Same battlefield, same smell of burning hair and oxidized blood.
Only this time, James wasn’t pacing. He was lying in the mud, unmoving, with an empty stare fixed on the sky.
Tick.
Sirius was gone, replaced by Dorcas' body. Her hands were still covered in blood.
Tick.
Sirius coughed once, then convulsed, blood spreading under him.
Tick.
She froze, breath catching. The sound crawled down her spine.
The loop was killing them over and over again.
“No,” she said, voice shaking. “Not this time.”
She dropped her wand and, instead of trying to save Sirius again, she stood. Every instinct screamed to go back to him, to try again, but she forced herself to turn toward the sound.
The clock stood half in shadows at the edge of the battlefield, its face gleaming faintly through smoke. The second hand twitched in place like a trapped insect. Marlene walked toward it, pushing through the weight of the loop. The air thickened, James’ voice behind her calling her name, but she didn’t look back.
When she reached it, she gripped the frame with both hands.
“Enough,” she snarled and shoved. The world cracked around her, and the battlefield dissolved into darkness.
The background shifted again, and she was standing in a cave now.
Barty was screaming while Evan’s hands were red up to the elbows. Regulus’ body flickered in and out, each version more broken than the last.
Marlene didn’t hesitate. She grabbed Evan by the shoulders and shook him hard enough to jolt his gaze away from Regulus.
“This isn’t real!” she shouted over the ticking.
He tried to pull away.
“I can’t let him die—”
“This is not real, Evan!” She tightened her grip until he met her eyes. “This is the clock. It’s killing them one memory at a time. Look at me!”
The ticking was deafening now, pressing against their skulls.
Evan’s breath came ragged, his hands flexing in the air like he didn’t know how to let go. He blinked, once, twice, and his focus shifted.
“Break it,” she said. “Now.”
Together, they turned and eyed the clock that stood at the edge of the cave. Its face was warped in and out of focus, hands jerking chaotically.
Evan’s jaw set.
“On three.”
“One.” Her wand rose.
“Two.” His fingers curled around his wand.
“Three—”
They struck together, and the blow landed like lightning, light exploding outward in a shockwave that tore the cave apart. The sound was not a tick or a chime; it was a scream.
For a long moment, there was no sound, movement, or light. Just a dense, suffocating stillness pressing in from every direction.
Then, slowly, shapes began to form around them.
Not buildings. Not trees. Just the suggestion of a floor beneath their feet, slick and cold like polished stone.
Evan stood beside her, still panting, hands shaking. Marlene’s wand light was little more than a pale glimmer in the void, barely illuminating the space between them.
“Where… where are we now?” she asked.
“No idea,” Evan said, voice low.
She turned in a slow circle.
“I don’t see the clock.”
He gave a sharp, humourless laugh.
“Maybe that’s worse.”
The air here felt heavier. It wasn’t cold, not exactly, but it carried weight, like they were wading through something unseen. The shadows shifted at the edges of the light, sliding closer when she wasn’t looking.
Marlene swallowed.
“Evan… what if it was a pattern?”
“What?” He frowned.
She started pacing, her boots clicking faintly on the slick stone.
“The memories. First, the letters. Then… Hogsmeade. Then—”
“—war,” Evan finished for her.
“Childhood. Adolescence. War,” she said, meeting his eyes. “The clock was showing us our lives. In order.”
He looked around at the formless dark.
“Then what’s this?”
She shook her head.
“This should be the next one. Our… our future.”
A thick silence stretched between them.
Marlene’s voice was barely a whisper. “Why isn’t this working?”
Evan didn’t answer right away. His jaw tightened; his gaze fixed on the shifting shadows beyond the wand light. When he spoke, his voice was rough.
“Because maybe we don’t have a future, Marlene,” he said.
Her breath caught. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s not about what I say,” he told her, finally meeting her eyes. “The clock’s broken because there’s nothing left for it to show. Not for me. Not for you.”
She shook her head, almost violently. “That’s not true. There has to be—”
“Think about it.” His tone was quiet, almost gentle now. “The war doesn’t end for people like us.”
She wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come. Because the shadows at the edge of the light were moving closer now, and for the first time, she thought she heard them whisper.
Closer now.
Not the rasp of something inhuman, but the muffled rhythm of voices — urgent, familiar.
Marlene raised her wand, the light flaring.
“Someone’s here.”
Evan stepped in front of her instinctively, scanning the dark.
“Or something wants us to think that.”
The shadows shifted and two figures emerged, half-fading into view before the light caught them fully.
“Sirius?” Marlene’s voice cracked.
He stopped short, chest heaving, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat.
“Marlene? Merlin, you’re alive!”
Mary was beside him, pale and tight-jawed, gripping her wand like she’d forgotten how to let go.
Marlene rushed forward, grabbing Sirius by the arms. “What happened to you? Where—”
“The Room of Mirrors,” Mary cut in, her voice sharp from the strain. “We’ve been fighting—” She swallowed, shaking her head. “Ourselves.”
Sirius gave a short, humourless laugh. “Almost didn’t make it out, but then we heard something and simply followed it.”
“You heard us? In here?” Marlene frowned.
“Barely,” Sirius said. “Just enough to follow. We didn’t know if it was real or another trick, but…” He gestured toward the darkness behind them. “We weren’t going back.”
Evan stepped forward, his expression unreadable.
“We’ve been… stuck. The clock was showing us memories, and then it just stopped. This place isn’t anything.”
Silence stretched for a moment, then Sirius cleared his throat.
“You haven’t seen Remus, have you? Or… Reggie?”
Evan shook his head once, sharply.
“No.”
Something flickered across Sirius' face, but he smothered it under a tight nod.
Mary glanced over her shoulder at the darkness pressing in.
“Standing still in here feels like a bad idea.”
“Agreed,” Evan said. “There has to be another way out.”
“Then let’s find it,” Sirius replied, his tone leaving no room for debate.
The four of them fell into step, their Lumos barely keeping the shadows at bay. And then, up ahead, something shifted. The blackness did not brighten so much as… thinned. It was subtle at first, like a veil stretched too far, a patch where the void looked less absolute. Step by step, the distortion sharpened into shape, and yes, there was the suggestion of a doorway, a cut in the fabric of nothingness. It hovered there with an unnatural stillness, edges faintly trembling, as if the corridor itself had been wounded open. Evan stepped in front of the group and pushed it open.
Notes:
So, hopefully you’re ready to go through another nerdy moment with me. In Hesiod’s cosmogony (posh word, I know, and I strongly believe that my professor would kiss me on the forehead for using this word), Kronos was the delightful dad who decided to devour his own children so that they could not surpass him.
Chronos is also the Greek word for time, hence the whole ticking clock thing
The idea of the so-called labyrinth came from the myth of Theseus, but instead of a monster-filled labyrinth, my characters are stuck in looping corridors of memory where the monster is… well, their own trauma (lovely, I know)
As for the missing future… that’s on purpose beeecause things will shift in part two 👀. I know some of you are already betting on who’s going to die horribly, but let’s just remember that death wears many faces and it doesn’t always mean a literal corpse on the floor
Again, this was another episode of Nerd Talk ✨
Chapter 30: The threads of Clotho
Summary:
hey hey heyyy ✨ here’s another trial chapter for you! pls don’t hate me too much after this one 👀
Quick heads-up: next week I’ll probably only be able to post one or two chapters because I’m going on a holiday and I am 100% sure that the internet will be shitty. So if I go a little quiet, it’s not because I’ve abandoned this fic (promise I will stay here until I change the status to completed) but because I didn't get the chance
Notes:
“Human” – Civil Twilight
“Through the Dark” – Vanbur
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The air around them warped and buckled, the reality bending to an unseen will. A sudden, sharp crack rippled through the space, and without even allowing them to realise what was happening, Lily and Severus stumbled forward.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke.
The silence was so thick and oppressive that it pressed on their ears like a living, breathing thing. The world they knew vanished, leaving only this strange, suspended moment in a room that defied any understanding.
The chamber stretched endlessly in every direction, circular and domed, yet far too vast to be contained within any earthly architecture. The walls were painted in a faint ivory, and every inch was covered in intricate carvings, delicate bas-reliefs so fine they seemed to pulse behind the marble. They depicted lovers that clung to one another with desperate tenderness, parents that cradled children as if shielding them from an unseen danger, hands reaching out, fingers nearly touching, suspended in eternal longing. Each scene was carved with such uncanny precision that their eyes sparkled as if wet with unshed tears, as though the stone itself was mourning memories long past.
In the middle of the chamber was placed a low dais, also hewn from the same pale marble. Upon it rested a single object, a chalice wrought from gold so pure and bright it almost hummed. Its surface was also a shifting canvas, reflecting fleeting images like moments of fierce affection, acts of unwavering loyalty, or even sacrifices. These visions dissolved seamlessly into one another, like ripples caught on the surface of a still lake disturbed by a gentle breeze.
The dome above them was painted in impossible colours that defied earthly night skies—deep amethyst bled into burning gold, which in turn softened into shimmering silver, all mingling together. From high above, delicate strands of white thread descended in slow arcs, swaying gently despite the absence of any breeze. Some brushed the floor with ghostly grace while others hovered just beyond reach. Each strand pulsed faintly with a living light, and Lily felt an almost unbearable certainty that every thread was tethered to a soul somewhere in the world.
The air also carried a faint scent. It was warm, a tinge of some bittersweet incense that teased her senses and tugged at something deep within her chest, tightening her breath with an aching mixture of hope and despair.
“This place…” Lily whispered, voice catching a little in her throat. “It feels like—”
“—like it wants something from us,” Severus finished, his dark eyes taking in the intricate carvings on the walls. His tone was calm, practiced even, but Lily caught the subtle tension in his fingers.
A slender thread drifted lazily through the air toward Lily. It descended slowly, like a silken ribbon floating down from some unseen realm, and brushed against her outstretched fingertips. The moment her skin made contact, the world folded around her.
She blinked and found herself standing in a garden. She knew it was a trick because gardens did not exist anymore, not like this anyway. Voldemort destroyed everything a long time ago.
It was summer here, and the air was warm against her cheeks. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt the sun on her cheeks. A gentle breeze carried the rich and sweet scent of blooming roses, and she almost cried because she had almost forgotten that flowers were supposed to have scents. It was so different from the air she’s been breathing for the last five years.
The sky above was a hazy blue, dappled with fluffy clouds drifting lazily. She used to paint skies like this or draw them in the corners of her notebooks.
Mary was there, too, her long legs stretched carelessly across the tall grass. She was wearing the socks Lily had bought her when she visited Spain with her parents. Some ridiculous blue socks, patterned with red ladybugs. Mary had adored them and laughed so hard she nearly spilled pumpkin juice all over the table when Lily handed them over. She bought the same for her, but in yellow.
Her head rested lightly in Lily’s lap, her soft hair tickling Lily’s thighs. Her eyes were closed, a serene smile playing on her lips as if there wasn’t any war happening.
Maybe in this world, there wasn’t any war happening. Maybe here Voldemort died years ago, who knows?
“You’ll never have to fight again,” Mary’s voice was soft when she eventually spoke. “Just stay here with me. We can bask in the sun and make love all day. We can have the life we deserve, Lils.”
Lily shut her eyes and pressed her lips together because God, she wanted to say yes. She wanted to curl down into the grass, bury her face in Mary’s neck, and let the rest of the world burn without her.
But then, as fast as it came, the warmth ebbed away from her skin, slipping like water through her fingers. The vivid garden blurred and twisted, colours bleeding into one another before dissolving entirely. She was pulled back into the ivory room, the delicate carvings and the golden chalice waiting patiently.
The strand of light withdrew, sliding away from her fingertips with a faint, pulsing glow.
Severus remained perfectly still, but his eyes were fixed on another thread, a slender filament of light hovering just above his shoulder. For a moment, he hesitated, then, against every instinct screaming inside him, he reached out and grabbed it.
The light swallowed him whole.
Suddenly, he was no longer in the marble chamber but seated in the familiar, cramped living room of Spinner’s End. Dust clung to every surface, and the faint, familiar scent of ancient books lingered like a ghost. His mother sat rigidly on the couch, hands folded in her lap, her posture sharp and severe. She regarded him with the same cool detachment she had so often worn in life. Her mouth was drawn, lips pressed thin as if even speaking to him was a strain. He remembered it too well. That silence that cut deeper than words ever could.
In the corner of the room, by the armchair where no one had sat in years, he felt a presence. His father’s pipe rested on the table, cold, untouched, yet still heavy with the scent of tobacco. For a moment Severus felt as though he could sense him there: tall, looming, his laughter echoing distantly, warmly, like a memory from another boy’s childhood. He had so rarely known Tobias’ kindness, but every scarce flicker of it—the ruffle of his hair, the rare night Tobias had spoken to him without anger—burned brighter than the hundreds of nights his mother’s silence swallowed him whole.
“You did it,” came a voice. Not in the clipped, frigid tones he remembered all too well, but softer, warmer. Like an echo of what she might have been, if she loved him as a mother should. Her hand lifted and brushed his cheek with a tenderness that was alien.
“I’m proud of you, Severus.”
The words slid into him like knives, not gifts. They were everything he had dreamed of hearing, night after night, and yet they rang false because she had never said them. Not once. And his father, whose shadow he still sought, had been gone too soon, too drunk, too angry to ever give him the steady affection he craved.
The room wavered. His mother’s hand fell away, her features dissolving into the same tight mask of disdain he remembered. The warmth of his father’s phantom presence ebbed into the stale air, leaving only the cracked wallpaper.
And then, with the inevitability of waking from a dream, Spinner’s End was gone, and he was back in the room.
Lily and Severus exchanged a look, a silent conversation passing between them.
“This place…” Lily murmured, her voice low. “It’s not just showing us memories.”
Severus shook his head slowly.
“No,” he whispered. “It’s showing us what we’d give anything to keep. Or have. What we’d surrender ourselves to, if it meant holding on.”
The threads moved now without hesitation, gliding toward them like a tide that had finally found its destined shore. They swirled through the air gracefully, weaving around the chamber like whispered secrets. One delicate strand brushed Lily’s cheek, and she shivered involuntarily. Her breath caught in her throat as the world twisted once more beneath her feet.
She was seventeen again, curled into one of the worn armchairs by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Laughter drifted from a group playing Exploding Snap at a nearby table, but it was muted, distant, as though the world beyond this corner had dimmed.
James was sitting across from her, slouched casually over a half-finished Charms essay. His hair stuck up worse than usual, his tie loosened, the picture of a boy who never cared quite enough about rules. But it was his smile, the half-cocked grin that always preceded something outrageous, that made Lily brace herself, already half-rolling her eyes.
“Lily,” he said, voice low and intimate, leaning in like he was sharing a secret meant only for her ears, “Do you ever feel like the whole world could just… stop? Just for us?”
The words hung between them like a secret spell. For a breath, she wanted to laugh them off. It was such a James Potter thing to say—reckless, impossibly romantic, born of his belief that the universe would always bend for him. And yet—
Her laugh slipped out, light and unguarded, startling even herself. It wasn’t sharp with mockery or irritation but soft, genuine, bubbling up from somewhere deeper than she meant to reveal. And with that sound, something shifted.
The room seemed to shrink until it held only them, the flames flickering in sync with their heartbeats, the rain whispering a lullaby just for their ears. Everything else faded into insignificance.
Her heart swelled, the thread’s glow deepening with a soft pulse, as if urging her to remain in that fragile bubble of time, where pain and loss had no place.
And then, as suddenly as it came, the vision slipped away.
Severus was already drawn into another memory. He was fifteen again, hunched over a stack of books at the far end of the library’s longest table. It was always the same place, the one where shadows pooled thick enough to hide him from notice. His quill hovered over his parchment, but he was not writing. He never was, not when she was there.
Lily sat by the tall window, and the afternoon sunlight had found her. It poured over her, catching in the strands of her hair until they gleamed with copper fire. She bent over her parchment, quill tapping softly in a distracted rhythm, her brow furrowed in thought. To anyone else, it was an ordinary moment, a girl working through her schoolwork. But to him, it was everything.
He knew every gesture, every frown of concentration, every tilt of her head when she puzzled over something too long, every little sigh that escaped her when she grew frustrated. He even knew the way she chewed her lower lip, a habit that might have seemed careless to another, but to Severus it was unbearably tender. It made his chest ache because it was human, vulnerable, and so very her.
And then there was her smile. The way her face lit when she finally solved a problem, the spark in her green eyes that made the entire room seem brighter. For Severus, that moment was sunrise. Not metaphor, not exaggeration. Just sunrise. It was the closest thing he knew to hope.
She never looked his way. She never had to. He didn’t need her to notice him to make this his sanctuary. Just being close was enough. Close enough to hear the scratch of her quill, close enough to guard her without her ever realizing she needed guarding. Close enough to imagine, just for a dangerous second, that he belonged to her world of warmth and laughter.
She was proof that such things existed, even if not for him.
The thread whispered to him without sound, its glow wrapping around his chest like a promise: You could stay here. Always near her. Always watching over her.
Lily’s next vision shifted like a breeze, carrying her to the Quidditch stands in her sixth year. The wind whipped her hair wildly into her eyes, but she didn’t mind because James was grinning at her from above. Despite the cheers of the crowd swelling around them, in his gaze, she was the only person who existed.
“Told you we will win the cup,” he shouted over the roar.
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back the laugh that spilled from her lips. The sound was so alien to her now.
The thread pulsed in response, a soft, hypnotic glow that promised she could live in that moment forever. The Room offered it like a gift. Like a fragile, shimmering sliver of happiness in a world otherwise crumbling into madness.
Severus’s next memory was far quieter.
Lily was sitting with him by the lake, not too close, not too far—just near enough that if he stretched his hand out, he might feel the warmth of hers on the grass.
They had another fight, and this was one of the rare moments when she’d forgiven him enough to talk again. They weren’t speaking of anything weighty. They spoke of small things. Homework that neither of them really wanted to finish. Who would sneak into Hogsmeade first, and who would get caught. The absurdity of James’s last Quidditch stunt. Their words drifted like feathers on the air, light and inconsequential, yet to Severus they carried the weight of salvation. Each syllable was proof that she had not abandoned him. Proof that he still had a place, however fragile, in her world.
Yet in her smile, there was a whole universe unfolding. It was the kind of smile he could build a life around. The kind of smile that could easily become a beacon in the darkness that threatened his life.
The thread’s glow tightened around him, pulsing with a rhythm that felt like a heartbeat threading through his veins. A whisper, tender and insistent, coiled within him: She forgives you here. Stay. Stay in this moment. Build with her what your heart has always craved.
Then, one more thread unfurled from the ceiling’s sky, drifting toward each of them. It wrapped faintly around their wrists, delicate as a spider’s silk but pulsing with strange power. The carved walls of the Room seemed to lean closer, the reliefs alive and watching — the lovers’ embraces deepening, eyes in stone turning toward them with silent, desperate pleas.
The chalice at the centre flickered, shimmering brighter as if it was savouring their memories, glowing with the bittersweet light of hope and loss.
The threads ceased their lazy drift and were now moving with a deliberate intent, curling tighter around their wrists like they were trying to claim them. The sensation was eerie, the strands brushing their skin in a way that seemed to be a promise and a quiet warning all at once.
Suddenly, a strand looped snugly around Lily’s hand, and before she could pull away, the world surged and twisted beneath her feet.
This time, it wasn’t James who waited for her in the memory.
She found herself standing in the dim glow of the hideout’s dormitory, the air moist with the scent of rain clinging to the walls and the faint tang of damp earth. Mary sat cross-legged on her bed, curls damp from the drizzle, cheeks flushed with warmth, her grin mischievous but her eyes achingly gentle. She held out a steaming mug.
“Hot chocolate fixes everything,” Mary said, the corners of her mouth quirking with a warmth that felt almost like a secret shared between old friends.
Lily remembered this night. How she had been tired to the bone and worn thin by the relentless push and pull of a fractured relationship, strained by war and fear. Mary had always been by her side, a steady, patient presence offering comfort without demand, letting Lily talk or stay silent as she needed.
The memory began to ripple and shift, carrying her forward through the nights that followed. Through the quiet missions where their hands brushed and lingered, fingers weaving together like fragile threads of hope. Through the meetings where their eyes sought each other without even realising. And then, finally, through the evening when Mary finally kissed her in a small clearing near the hideout. It was a soft, lingering kiss that was so warm, unhurried, and full of unspoken promises that made her Lily’s broken heart beat again.
The Room wrapped her in that specific memory like a silken blanket, the faint scent of petrichor and Mary’s shampoo lingering in the air. There was an almost unnatural glow in Mary’s eyes.
You could have this again, the thread pulsed against Lily’s skin, rhythmic and insistent. You could stay in this moment where you are safe. Where you are utterly and deeply loved.
Across the chamber, Severus was already ensnared.
He was seventeen again, standing beneath the shadow of the Astronomy Tower. The sharp tang of autumn drifted in the air, the scent of fallen leaves and distant woodsmoke weaving with something colder. Lily stood before him, her hair tangled from the restless wind, her brow furrowed not just in frustration, but in something far deeper — fear, raw and unspoken.
“You don’t have to do this,” she whispered, her voice trembling like a fragile thread about to snap. “You don’t have to be one of them.”
His fists clenched in the memory, knuckles white and trembling with the weight of all the choices he thought he’d never escape.
“You don’t understand,” he said, voice tight, choked by years of doubt and defiance.
“I do,” she shot back, stepping closer, the fire in her eyes burning. “I know you. I know you don’t want this life. Please, Severus—” Her voice broke, raw and pleading. “Come with us instead. Dumbledore will understand.”
Time itself seemed to hold its breath. The moment stretched, suspended in the air like a fragile glass orb, threatening to shatter at the slightest touch. The Room whispered to him with the voice of all the words he’d wished he’d had the courage to say back then.
All the choices he’d yearned to make but never dared to.
Now, he could speak. More than that, in this world, he could finally say yes. He could reach out, take her hand, and step into a different future.
Around them, the edges of the chamber began to blur and bleed, the dome’s ceiling dissolving into the soft shadows of Mary’s dormitory window, then shifting again into the dark velvet sky above the Astronomy Tower.
For a brief, shimmering moment, Lily thought she saw Severus in her vision, watching quietly from the corner, his eyes heavy with longing and regret. And in his vision, Severus thought he glimpsed her standing just beyond the Tower’s shadow.
The threads tightened. The chalice’s glow flared, drinking in their hesitation.
“This isn’t real,” Lily whispered, though her fingers ached to touch Mary’s cheek again.
“Does it matter?” Severus’s voice came from somewhere beside her. Even though his eyes were locked on hers, the Lily in front of him was only seventeen, pleading with him to turn away from darkness.
The Room shivered with something hungry, a predator sensing its prey faltering.
Mary’s warm hand was suddenly in Lily’s, solid and alive, tugging her gently toward the bed, toward a sanctuary where war could not reach, where the past’s scars might finally fade. A place where Lily could finally settle.
Lily’s breath caught in her throat, torn between terror and aching longing. She tried to pull back, but Mary’s grasp tightened.
“No… no, I can’t—”
The walls trembled with a low, grinding shudder. The threads wrapped around her wrist constricted, biting cold and merciless into her skin. Mary’s face blurred, eyes hollowing, the warmth twisting into something sharp, cruel. In a heartbeat, the cosy dormitory vanished.
She stood suddenly in the Potter living room, but the fire was dead, embers smouldering in the hearth as shadows crowded in close, dark and suffocating. James was there, his face twisted in fury, voice raised and sharp.
“You never listen, Lily! You think you’re the only one who gets to be right!”
This was so, so wrong. James never screamed. James never raised his voice, regardless of how angry he was.
Despite everything, her own voice echoed back, raw and stinging with frustration, “At least I’m not a reckless, arrogant—”
The Room cut her words abruptly, pushing her violently into a new scene.
She was outside now, and the place around her looked like the Clock Tower Courtyard. Mary was there, but not as Lily saw her in the other memories. Her face was streaked with tears, twisted in hurt and disbelief. Standing before her was Severus, his eyes hard, voice sharp and venomous.
“You have no place here, Mudblood.”
Lily staggered backward, the word striking her like a blow to the chest. She remembered that day. Remember the way Mary came into their room sobbing. The way Lily went to Severus and confronted him. But this memory was altered because she hadn’t been there when it actually happened. The Room was stitching together fragments that never belonged side by side, sewing a patchwork quilt of poison, distortion, and fractured truths.
Severus gasped sharply, his heart pounding as his memory slipped and shifted beneath him like unstable sand, refusing to settle.
He was seventeen again, standing by the lake’s edge, watching Lily from a distance as if he was a ghost. Her hair was spilling in the grass, while James sat beside her, his laughter light and careless. Then, without warning, James leaned in and kissed her. A kiss so claiming, so full of ownership that it stole the air from Severus’ lungs. She raised her arms and threw them around his shoulders, pulling him closer.
The scene burned into Severus’ brain with cruel clarity.
The memory shifted again, and suddenly he was in the library again, watching Lily being pressed against a towering shelf, James’ hands tangled in her hair.
She was smiling. Grinning even, while she hooked her leg around him.
Severus’ fists clenched so tightly that his nails bit deep into his palms, pain blooming to anchor him to this moment.
The truth settled in his chest like a stone, but it wasn’t the truth he remembered. No, he hadn’t been there. He had never seen these things with his own eyes.
The Room was whispering now, but not in words, but in wrapped memories that showed him the only truth that really mattered.
You were never enough.
The next vision slammed into place. The Astronomy Tower once again, but this time, it wasn’t Lily’s voice begging Severus to turn away. It was James’ voice, loud and mocking, and Severus was snarling at him, wand raised in challenge.
“This isn’t real!” Lily’s cry shattered the silence, her voice cracking under the weight of desperation.
The Room didn’t answer. It didn’t care. The threads writhed aggressively, coiling higher and tighter around their arms, dragging them deeper into a web of lies and twisted truths. The warmth and devotion the chamber had shown before were gone, replaced by venomous memories curated to rot trust from the inside out.
“Stop it!” Lily’s voice trembled, raw with rage and fear mingling indistinguishably. “That’s not what happened—”
Severus met her eyes across the chamber, but the vision overlaid her face. The Lily in front of him was still smiling at James, still pulling away from him.
“Isn’t it?” The words came from his own mouth, though he had not spoken them. The voice felt alien, a stranger wearing his skin and using his mouth to speak.
The carvings on the walls seemed to twist and writhe, the delicate embraces morphing into strangling holds, lovers pulling away from one another’s touch in slow motion. The air grew thick and suffocating, heavy as though the walls themselves pressed in to separate them.
The threads no longer drifted lazily; they lunged, biting into skin, twisting around wrists, climbing like icy veins up their arms. The false memories no longer faded. They layered and merged into a suffocating collage: Mary crying, James’ hands on her, Severus threatening James, Lily turning away, all entwined and impossible to escape.
And then the Lily of the Room was in front of Severus again, arms outstretched. Not the Lily of now, not the Lily who stood only a few feet away watching him in horror, but the seventeen-year-old he had kept in his mind all these years. She smelled of autumn air and parchment, her hair falling exactly as he remembered.
Her voice was a soft, aching whisper.
“Come with me, Sev.”
Her arms closed around him, warm and anchoring, but the warmth of her body was missing. He felt himself slipping, pulled not toward safety but toward something vast and black, a yawning shadow stretching behind them like a gaping maw.
The real Lily’s voice tore through the haze.
“Severus! No—don’t you dare! Stay with me!” She yanked against the threads at his arm, fighting to pry him free. “We can break it together—”
He shook his head slowly, a tremor running through him as if the very core of his being was cracking. His chest felt like it was caving in, ribs pressing tighter and tighter against a sorrow too vast to contain.
For so many years, he had lived half a life, tethered to a dream that had never belonged to him. He had convinced himself that devotion could be enough, that sacrifice in silence could be its own form of possession. But in this moment, stripped bare before her, he finally understood. He could not have her. He had never truly had her. The life he craved, the gentle warmth of her smile across the years, the peace of a hand clasped in his under a sky not torn by war, was not his to claim.
Through the pain, his eyes sharpened with a sudden, terrible clarity. It was not resignation or surrender to despair, but a fierce, aching resolve that cut deeper than any blade.
“This… this is the one thing I can give you,” he said quietly, his voice steady despite the shadows creeping like cold fingers up his legs, climbing with relentless purpose.
“Let me have this.”
The real Lily’s mouth parted, a breath caught and then torn away.
“Severus—” she began, voice cracking.
“Go,” he said, voice lower now, filled with the weight of all the years he’d held back, all the silent longing he’d swallowed whole. “Go and be free.”
He looked at her as though it was the last time he would ever see her, and in so many ways, it was. His gaze seared with tenderness so fierce it was almost unbearable, his eyes burning like embers trying to brand every detail of her into his memory. The curve of her lips, the green fire in her eyes, the way her presence filled the air like spring after endless winter. He drank it all in, desperate to carry it with him into the darkness.
And then, with a trembling breath, he gave her the only benediction his love could offer.
“Be happy, Lily.”
The words were not a plea, nor a demand. They were surrender, an offering placed at her feet, the purest distillation of everything he had ever felt. In that moment, Severus Snape ceased to be the bitter, broken man he had been. He was only what he had always been, in the deepest part of himself: a boy who loved a girl so fiercely that he would give her the world, even if it meant he could never be part of it.
“No—you owe me years of friendship you stole away, you owe me life—” Her fingers clawed at the threads that bound him, nails scraping desperately, tearing at the glowing cords just to have them replaced by others, unbreakable and cold.
“Don’t you dare think this is redemption—”
His lips twitched in a faint, almost wistful smile.
“It’s not redemption,” he whispered, voice barely more than a breath. “It’s devotion.”
The shadow surged then, a dark wave swallowing the space between them. The Lily in his arms, the pale, hollow echo the Room had conjured, pulled harder, her grip shifting from gentle to unyielding, tightening like a noose. Severus’ gaze never left the real Lily’s face until the darkness claimed him up to his chest.
“Let her go,” he said again, this time to the room.
“Please… let her go.”
The other Lily’s hold grew impossible to resist, dragging him toward the yawning blackness behind them. The air itself seemed to flee the chamber, every breath the real Lily took slicing sharper into her lungs, as if the very space was being suffocated.
The darkness surged with sudden violence, and just as Severus’ face was nearly swallowed whole, the threads snapped viciously tight around Lily’s waist and chest, pulling her backward with merciless force.
“Sev!” she cried out, voice shattering into the void.
They didn’t drag her into the dark, but yanked her away.
The world blurred into a rush of cold and pressure. She felt herself pulled backward, her boots scraping the stone. In an instant, she was wrenched through the door and thrown into the corridor outside like the Room itself spat her out.
She hit the floor hard, breath knocked from her chest. The heavy door slammed shut before she could even scramble to her knees.
“Sev?! Sev!!” Her fists pounded against the wood, but it didn’t echo — it absorbed the sound like it had never been made. She clawed for the handle, but it was sealed, immovable, as though it had never opened at all.
Her gaze darted up. Above the door, the engraving seemed to shimmer faintly in the torchlight:
Room of Love.
Her throat tightened.
“Severus…” she whispered, the name breaking halfway.
“Lily?”
She turned and saw Mary running toward her, Sirius, Evan, and Marlene close behind. Mary dropped to her knees beside her, hands on her shoulders.
“What happened? Where’s Snape?” Sirius demanded, glancing between her pale face and the shut door.
Lily’s lips parted, but no sound came. Her eyes flicked back to the name carved in stone.
Mary shook her gently.
“Lils—what happened?”
Lily swallowed hard, voice thin when it finally came.
“He’s gone.”
Mary’s hands tightened on Lily’s shoulders.
“Gone where? What do you mean, gone?”
“The room…it— it took him.” Her stare was fixed on the door, her voice low and unsteady
Sirius stepped forward, bracing himself against the frame like he might rip it from the wall.
“Then we take him back.” He shoved at the door. Nothing. He pulled harder. Still nothing. The wood didn’t creak, didn’t even acknowledge him.
Marlene shook her head, breathing fast.
“It’s not locked. It’s… sealed.”
Evan’s gaze had gone distant, the kind of stillness that looked like he was listening to something the rest of them couldn’t hear.
“This room was never supposed to be opened.” He whispered lowly.
“What the hell does that mean?” Sirius turned sharply.
“It’s old magic,” Evan said. His eyes lingered on the engraving above the door, something like recognition flickering in them. “Older than… everything we’ve seen so far. It’s not a trial you’re meant to survive. The only way out is—” He stopped himself. “It doesn’t matter. The door’s closed.”
“Severus was in there,” Lily snapped, sudden fire under the grief. “We can’t just walk away—”
“If we stay here,” Evan cut in, sharper than he meant to, “we all end up like him. That’s how it works.”
The words landed heavy, the hall falling into a taut silence.
Mary stood, offering Lily her hand. “Come on,” she said quietly.
Lily hesitated, her eyes still locked on the engraving. Then, with visible effort, she took Mary’s hand and got to her feet.
Sirius was the last to step back from the door, jaw tight, his stare promising that this wasn’t over.
They moved down the corridor, the air heavy with the silence left behind by the room. The torches flickered faintly on the walls, casting jagged shadows that seemed to lean toward them as they passed.
Sirius broke it first.
“We need to find Moony and the rest.” His voice was low but urgent, the kind of tone that didn’t invite argument.
“We will,” Mary said quietly, though she kept her arm linked with Lily’s, like she wasn’t sure Lily’s knees would hold.
Sirius tried the first door they came to. A carved oak one with iron hinges. Locked. He cursed under his breath and moved to the next. Same result.
By the third, he was throwing his shoulder into it, the thud echoing down the corridor. Still nothing.
“They’re locked,” Evan said flatly from behind him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “They’ll all be locked.”
Sirius spun toward him.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do,” Evan replied, eyes narrowing slightly. “You can’t drag someone out of these rooms. That’s not how they work. They need to find their own way out. Like we did.”
Sirius stepped forward, bristling.
“That’s not a solution, Rosier. That’s giving up.”
“It’s reality,” Evan shot back, his tone sharp enough to cut. “Charging into something you don’t understand will just get you killed. Or worse, trapped. And then we’ve got two missing people instead of one.”
Sirius’ lip curled.
“You think I don’t know what’s at stake here? Moony’s my—” He stopped short, jaw working, his voice dropping to something almost dangerous. “Don’t lecture me about risk, Rosier. You’ve got your own bloody list of people you didn’t save.”
Evan’s eyes darkened, his voice low and edged. “Careful, Black. You have no idea what I’ve—”
“That’s enough.”
Marlene’s voice cut through them like a whip crack. She stepped between them, her glare bouncing from one to the other.
“This is not the time to start tearing each other apart.”
Sirius didn’t move, but his shoulders were rigid. “Tell that to him—”
“No,” Marlene snapped, sharper this time. “I’m telling it to both of you. We are all stuck in this cursed place, we are all losing people, and if you two decide to measure who’s suffered more, we won’t have to worry about these rooms because we’ll kill each other before they do.”
The corridor fell silent again, save for the low hiss of the torches. Sirius looked away first, muttering something under his breath. Evan gave one last lingering glare before turning back toward the hall.
Mary exhaled slowly.
“Can we keep moving now? Before this place decides we’re too easy to pick off?”
No one argued.
Notes:
I really wanted to play around with the Love Room, which does exist in canon, but aside from Dumbledore's paragraph, it’s basically a giant blank space. So, naturally, I claimed it as my personal playground (again)
Clotho is one of the Moirai, aka the Fates. She is the youngest, spinning the thread of life. When Lily and Severus touch those threads, they are pulled into visions, some real, some “what ifs”. In the myths, mortals never escape the Fates, but they could meet their end with dignity.
That is why I wanted Severus here. I didn’t want his death to be brutal, but rather show that, despite his association with Avery and Mulciber in the beginning, his loyalty was somewhere else entirely
It is love that ensnares him, love that devours him, and love that finally cuts his thread
Sorry if everything got too emotional 💀
One more chapter and you get rid of those long and boring end notes, I swear
Chapter 31: Phobos
Summary:
I saw that some of you were pretty excited about this chapter (assuming you haven’t left by now)
If you are still here—HI, I LOVE YOU, PLEASE ENJOY THIS—and may it not be a crushing disappointment
Chapter Text
“Why the fuck are we in Hogwarts?” Barty snapped, looking around him, a deep frown creasing his eyebrows. His voice bounced off the corridor in jagged echoes.
James scanned the hallway, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It just looks like it, Crouch.”
“Excuse me, Potter,” Barty said, rolling his eyes. “I think I know Hogwarts when I see it.” Barty started pacing, his boots striking the stone with quick, restless steps. “This is the DADA tower. Here,” he jabbed a finger toward the wall “is where I hexed Mulciber’s ass in fifth year so bad he pissed himself. And here is the bathroom where I gave Evan the most mindblowing bl—wait—” His eyes narrowed, catching the strange stillness of the air. “What the fuck? There’s nothing else here.”
James glanced around, noticing that there was only one door located at the far end of the hallway. There were no other doors, windows, or even tapestries on the walls.
“You’re right,” he admitted reluctantly. “There was supposed to be a tapestry here. It covered a secret passage to the Transfiguration corridor.”
“Of course, I’m right.” Barty’s lips twisted into something between a sneer and a smirk. “So, there’s only one door, which means that’s where we’re heading. Evan might be in there.”
“Evan might not be in there,” James shot back quickly, stepping into his path. His tone was controlled, but the muscle in his jaw twitched. “Don’t charge in like you own the place, Crouch. Use your fucking brain, for fucks sake.”
Barty’s eyes glinted, predatory and amused all at once.
“Careful, Potter. You almost sound like you think you’re in charge. You’re not the Head Boy anymore.”
“I don’t think,” James said evenly. “I know I’ve got more sense than you when you’re two seconds from losing your temper and running headfirst into a trap. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.”
“Says the Gryffindor golden boy who thinks bravery and stupidity are the same bloody thing. Tell me, do you practice the way you puff your chest when you're giving orders in the mirror, or does it just come naturally?”
James stiffened and forced himself to unclench his fists.
“You done?”
“Not even close,” Barty purred, circling him slightly, boots clicking. “Be honest with me, Potter. You can’t stand that you’re stuck here with me, because deep down, you know you can’t control me. Not like you controlled your little band of Gryffindor lapdogs.”
“If I’d really wanted lapdogs, I’d have picked someone with your temperament from the beginning. You’d heel nicely with the right leash.”
Barty’s grin came back slow and wicked.
“Careful, Potter. You almost sound like you’re flirting.”
James huffed.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Crouch. I am simply trying to stop you from doing something stupid like trespassing—"
“Oh, I am the one trespassing?” he interrupted him. “What about you stomping all over everyone’s space, Potter? Merlin knows you’re already doing it with Reg.”
James blinked at him, caught off guard by the sudden shift.
“What?”
“You heard me,” Barty said, squaring his shoulders and raising his chin. “Stop hovering over him like you’re the sun he’s supposed to orbit. He doesn’t need you taking up every inch of his air.”
James’s nostrils flared.
“You don’t get to tell me what he needs.”
“I do,” Barty snapped, stepping closer until their chests nearly brushed. “I know what gets to him. I know how easily people smother him when they think they’re helping. So let me be clear—” his voice dropped into a cold, deliberate threat “—if you hurt him, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
The protective edge in Barty’s tone made something twist hot and unpleasant in James’ stomach.
Hello there, jealousy. It’s been a while.
“You think you’re the only one who cares about him? That you’re the only one allowed near him? Hate to break it to you, mate, but I’ve won that right, too.”
“What I think is that you don’t know when to back off,” Barty bit out. “You swarm in, take all his space, and leave no room for him to breathe. That’s not care, Potter, that’s selfishness.”
James’ anger flared sharply.
“Oh, and you were so selfless? Give me a fucking break, Crouch.”
Barty’s eyes narrowed, his voice low and dangerous.
“At least I’m not pretending to be something I’m not. You think I didn’t see the way you acted in Hogsmeade? The smiles, the loud laugh, the way you clapped people on the back as if you weren’t dying inside? I invented that shit, Potter.”
“You’re crossing a line,” James murmured lowly.
“Am I now?” Barty laughed. “What happens when you stop pretending? When they see you for what you are?”
James’ nostrils flare.
“I know your game, Barty, and I am not falling for it. I know how you poke people around just for the sake of a reaction, and I will not entertain this.”
“What happens when Reg sees that you’ve been rotting inside?” he pushed further, ignoring James’ warning. “That all he did was find the corpse before it collapsed?”
James froze in the middle of the hallway, and for a second, Barty thought that he would finally swing.
“You had your time with him, Barty. It’s over. You need to let him go.”
The words landed like a curse. Barty froze for a heartbeat, the air between them snapping taut.
“What did you just say?”
“You heard me,” James said, turning to face him again. “Your thing with Regulus is in the past. He’s not yours anymore.”
Barty’s stare hardened, but there was the smallest flicker of surprise that slipped through before he masked it.
“…So you do know.”
James didn’t back down.
“I know enough. Enough to know you don’t get to lecture me on how and how much time I spend with him.”
For the first time, Barty’s expression wasn’t just defensive; it was unsettled, like James had stepped somewhere he wasn’t meant to tread. But instead of retreating, he let out a dry laugh.
“You really think you can replace me?”
“This isn’t about replacing anyone,” James snapped. “It’s about me being here now.”
The tension between them hung heavy, thick, and electric. James’ hands clenched at his sides, nails digging crescents into his palms.
Barty tilted his head, the mockery returning to his voice.
“You think you’ve got some claim on him now?”
James’ eyes didn’t waver.
“He is not a fucking object to be owned.” He took a step closer, lowering his voice but not softening it. “I love him. And I’ll do everything—everything—to keep him safe.”
Barty’s expression froze for a heartbeat, but this time, it wasn’t disbelief, but something sharper, something brittle.
“You’re saying that to me?” he asked, voice deceptively calm, though his fingers twitched like he wanted to grab James by the collar. “To me, of all people?”
“Yes,” James said without hesitation. “Because you keep acting like I’m some obstacle you need to shove aside. Like I do not know how I should handle him. Like, Regulus is just going to… what? Break if I’m near him too much? You think you’re the only one who’s ever cared about him?”
Barty gave a short, clipped laugh.
“No. I think I’m the only one who’s been there when it mattered.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” James shot back. “You stepped back. You chose Evan and I’m here now. And I’m not walking away, even if you like it or not.”
“You don’t even know—”
“I know enough,” James cut him. “And even if I do not know the full history between you two, it is not my place to pry or ask. If Reggie wants to tell me, fine. If not, it is his right. What I need you to understand is that if you don’t stop whatever you’re doing, or if you make Regulus doubt his own feelings, I will make sure that the next time my point is well taken.”
The corridor felt narrower and the air heavier, as Barty stared at him for a long, tense moment. Then, with a dry, muttered curse, he brushed past James hard enough for their shoulders to collide.
“Then I hope you’re ready to prove you’re here for him, Potter,” Barty said without looking back, his tone dripping with challenge.
James exhaled slowly, his pulse still pounding, and followed him toward the door at the end of the hallway.
The door opened with a low, aching groan, and James stepped inside first, scanning the empty classroom until his eyes landed on a figure hunched near the far wall.
“Remus?” James’s voice rang strangely in the air, swallowed almost instantly by the oppressive stillness.
No movement.
He tried again, louder this time.
“Moony—hey. What are you—”
Nothing.
Remus had his back turned, but James could see the slow, almost imperceptible shake of his shoulders. Something cold crawled up the back of his neck. He moved forward, boots echoing on the stone floor, the sound wrong in the vast silence.
And then he saw what Remus was crouched over.
The person didn’t even register at first, like his brain refused to acknowledge what his eyes were seeing—the shock of dark hair against pale skin, the wrongness of how still he was, the pooling red beneath him like ink spilled across a page.
James froze mid-step. His chest forgot how to pull air in.
He knew, before he even reached them.
But knowing didn’t make it real. Not until his knees gave way beneath him and he was falling forward, his palms hitting the stone with a slap that echoed too loud and final.
Regulus’ robes were ripped and scorched, threads curling where fire had licked through them. Blood had dried in dark patches across his side, still damp at the edges. His lips were slightly parted, but there was no sound. No breath. No life.
James’s throat worked uselessly before sound tore its way out.
“No.” It was barely audible. Then louder, rawer. “No. No, no, no—”
He crawled forward, not caring about the sting in his knees, until he was close enough to touch. His fingers brushed Regulus’s cheek, searching desperately for the faintest trace of warmth. There was none. The skin was cold, horribly, unyieldingly cold, and that was when it truly hit, like something breaking open inside him that could never be fixed.
“Please,” James whispered, his fingers touching Regulus’ skin. “Please don’t do this. Not you, love. Not you.”
Remus finally turned toward him. His face was drawn, eyes wet and rimmed red in the low light. His hands trembled as they hovered uselessly over Regulus’ chest, as though still searching for a way to bring him back.
“It's all my fault, James,” he said, and the words shook. “Merlin, I—I tried. But it was—” His voice cracked, splintering in the middle. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.”
James shook his head violently, like he could shake the moment away, like this wasn’t fixed and final.
“He was supposed to be fine,” he rasped. His own voice was breaking now. “He has to be fine. I promised him. I fucking promised him—”
For a wild moment, James thought that this was a test. That Regulus would eventually open his eyes and roll them at his breakdown. Tell him that he was a “dramatic idiot” or “big baby.”
But Regulus didn’t move. Didn’t breathe or come back. And James realised with a crushing, obliterating clarity that he had failed him. Like he had failed his parents. Like he failed so many people before.
Barty stood in the doorway, utterly still, as though the floor beneath him might give way if he moved.
Remus’ voice lowered to a whisper.
“I should’ve realised that— I should’ve—”
James bent over, his forehead touching Regulus’ shoulder, every muscle in his body trembling. The world outside that moment didn’t exist anymore; there was only the cold weight in front of him, and the suffocating truth that no matter how fiercely he loved, he could not pull Regulus back.
The walls themselves seemed to lean in, shadows pressing close, sealing them into a grief too sharp to escape.
Barty hadn’t moved an inch since James dropped to his knees. He stared, eyes fixed but uncomprehending. Why had Potter fallen like that? There was… nothing there. No sign of struggle, no visible threat—just empty air where James seemed to see something terrible.
Why was Potter crying? His shoulders shook with silent sobs, his voice cracking as he screamed Regulus’ name into the stillness. It didn’t make any sense.
Barty’s mind scrambled for answers, but found only questions. Was James losing his grip on reality? Was there something Barty couldn’t see? He glanced around frantically, half-expecting shadows or figures to materialize, but the room was empty as it had been since they stepped through the door.
James was clawing at the ground now, hands trembling as if he were reaching for something just out of sight, something Barty couldn’t see.
His heart pounded with confusion and unease. What was really happening here?
But then—
“Barty…”
It was faint at first, like a sound coming from another room. He turned his head, slow, unwilling, and the world behind him shifted.
And there, at the far end of the classroom, Evan was dragging himself toward him.
Barty couldn’t breathe.
Evan’s arms shook with the effort, his palms leaving smeared prints across the floor from the blood pooling beneath him. His robes were torn open, the fabric soaked through, his face pale and slick with sweat. His mouth worked around words, lips trembling, and when they came out, they were broken.
“It’s… your fault.”
Barty’s chest clenched so tight it hurt.
“No,” he croaked, but it didn’t sound like him. His voice was small, useless.
Evan kept crawling, his knees dragging, toes scraping against stone. Blood streaked the floor in a jagged trail.
“You let it happen.” His voice cracked, and something in it made Barty’s stomach twist. “You were supposed to protect me.”
Barty’s feet wouldn’t move. His hands hung limp at his sides, trembling with the urge to reach out, but he couldn’t do shit. It was like his bones had turned to iron, holding him in place.
Evan’s eyes met his, glassy and bright with pain.
“I needed you,” he whispered. “And you weren’t there.”
Barty shook his head hard enough to make the room sway, but Evan’s words burrowed deep. They scraped against every half-buried memory he’d locked away. All the missions gone wrong, all the nights when Barty didn’t come back, and Evan waited alone in the small cottage. All the things Barty yet refused to say, even though he was aware that Evan already knew.
“I was right there—” Barty’s voice cracked into something raw. “I didn’t—Merlin, I didn’t—”
“You left me,” Evan said again, quieter now, the words dragging across the floor between them like a dying breath. He was so close now that Barty could see the tiny tremor in his jaw, the slight hitch in his shoulders with every pained crawl. “You always leave.”
Barty’s vision blurred. His nails bit into his palms so hard they stung, but he couldn’t pull air in deep enough. His body screamed at him to move, to help, but all he could do was watch as Evan’s arm buckled beneath him and his chest hit the stone with a sickening thud.
The sound jolted through Barty like lightning.
“No—no, no, no,” His legs finally obeyed, but by the time he dropped to the floor, Evan’s head had fallen sideways, eyes still locked on him.
“You let me die,” he breathed, and then there was nothing. No movement. No sound. Just the long, thin smear of blood between them, and the hollow silence where his voice had been.
Barty’s hands hovered uselessly over him, fingers twitching, the air thick with the copper tang of blood.
The room seemed to lean in, whispering those same words over and over. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.
Barty’s breath hitched.
One blink and Evan’s body was gone. The smear of blood still stained the floor, but it led to nothing. Just empty stone.
Another blink and Evan was there again, but behind him now, propped against the wall, one hand clutching his side, the other reaching out.
“You went after him. You always choose him,” he said, voice low.
Barty spun, stumbling, heart pounding so hard it hurt.
“You’re not—you’re not real—”
But Evan lurched forward, dragging his legs like they’d forgotten how to work. The sound of his breath, wet and rattling, echoed down the hall, filling every corner of Barty’s skull.
“You could’ve saved me if you had been there.”
The words crawled under his skin, coiling around his ribs. Barty’s vision blurred, his pulse roaring in his ears.
He shut his eyes, and when he opened them again, Evan was gone.
Then, over there. Flat on the floor.
Then, on the opposite side of the room. Standing upright, blood pouring from his mouth, while he was leaning against the wall.
Barty’s knees gave out. His palms hit cold stone. He couldn’t tell if the tremor in his hands was from rage or terror. Every version of Evan’s face was burned into his vision.
The pleading eyes, the accusing stare, the pale slackness of death.
At first, Regulus’s body was still in front of him, still pale and cold, his lips faintly parted. James had barely gotten to whisper his name when the world around him shifted.
Regulus was no longer lying dead on the floor. He was sitting up again. His dark curls fell across his forehead in the same soft, stubborn strands James remembered brushing back. Regulus was looking at him with the same softness that James remembered, the same fire that made him come undone each and every time.
He reached out, his hand lifting as if to cup James’ cheek.
“James,” he murmured, and there was tenderness in it.
The sound of his voice tore something open in James’ chest.
But then, his mouth twisted into something sharper.
“You really thought I loved you?” Regulus whispered, soft but oh, so very cruel. “You were just convenient. A good fuck to forget the rest.”
James froze. The words landed worse than any Cruciatus, burrowing beneath his ribs, hollowing him out.
He shook his head and reached forward, clinging to the possibility that if he could just touch him, it would break whatever fucking nightmare this was.
His fingers met nothing. Just the cold, stale air of the classroom.
James staggered forward, eyes scanning wildly. The door to the corridor was gone, too.
A sound echoed behind him, and he turned just to find Regulus sprawled on the floor again, this time with his throat torn open. Blood was pooling around him, steaming in the cool air.
James’s stomach twisted violently.
“No—” He lunged and dropped beside him, hands pressing desperately against the wound, but his palms met only cold stone. No blood. No Regulus.
Then Regulus was walking away from him. James rose from the floor and ran towards him, calling his name, but the space between them stretched unnaturally, no matter how fast he moved.
“Stop following me,” Regulus’ voice carried back, low and sharp. “You left me, not the other way around.”
James froze.
“I never—”
“You let me go,” Regulus said, still facing away. “You chose my brother, Potter!”
James’s gut clenched. “That’s not—”
Regulus turned then, and James’ breath caught when he saw his eyes. They were wrong, two flat black voids where the green should’ve been. Blood spilled from his lips in slow drips as he smiled, and the sound of his voice came in two layers: Regulus’ soft tone and something beneath it, something old.
“You promised me forever.”
James stumbled back, spine slamming against the wall. Every heartbeat felt like a hammer in his chest.
“This isn’t real—”
But the wall behind him pulsed, turning from stone to something else. Something that resembled flesh. Regulus was suddenly inches away, his breath fanning over his face.
“You failed me.”
James blinked, chest heaving, as Regulus’ face morphed again, and now Sirius was standing there, stiff-backed and cold-eyed, voice dripping with disdain.
“You’re not a leader, James. You’re a liability,” the thing sneered, stepping forward, every click of its shoes too loud in the echoing room. “They all died because you weren’t enough. And they will keep dying until there is no one left.”
That was when James realised what he was actually facing.
The flickering forms. The whiplash between grief and guilt. The way the room felt like it was feeding.
It was a bloody Boggart.
For a second, he almost laughed because this was something he’d learned to deal with in his third year, when Professor Kettleburn had drilled into them the fact that this thing can hurt you only if you let it.
He remembered standing in line behind Sirius, laughing like idiots when the creature shifted into McGonagall, and Peter almost scurried out of the class. He remembered how easy it seemed to be back then. How easy they laughed when their worst fear was an exam or a professor.
But this was different.
How the hell was James supposed to laugh at this? When the thing in front of him wore the face of the man he loved and spoke in his voice?
How is James supposed to laugh when watching the love of his life go cold in his arms?
A Boggart is only as strong as the fear you give it.
Or at least, that’s what they’d been told. And right now, James felt like he was feeding it an endless fucking feast, his terror and grief spilling out of him in rivers, giving the creature more strength than it had ever deserved.
His head screamed at him to move, to say the bloody incantation, to drive the thing back into the shadows. But his bleeding heart refused to even acknowledge the idea of raising his wand against Regulus.
And the Boggart knew, and it shifted again, showing again and again and again the same versions of Regulus.
James shut his eyes tight and finally gathered the courage to raise his wand.
“Riddikulus!” he barked, voice breaking at the end.
The figure convulsed, its form splitting into a dozen half-shaped horrors before shrinking into something small and skittering that scrambled back into the dark.
James turned, searching for Barty, and saw that he was still on the floor, hands clutching at air, eyes wild.
“Evan—” Barty’s voice cracked, ragged and hoarse. “Don’t leave me—”
“Barty, it’s not him!” James moved toward him, dropping to his knees. “It’s a Boggart, do you hear me? It’s not real—”
Barty’s gaze snapped to him, and for a fraction of a second, James thought he’d gotten through, then Barty’s fist connected with his jaw, and he almost fell on his ass.
Pain exploded down James’ face, his head snapping to the side.
“Fuck, Barty. Are you for fucking real?”
“Don’t you dare—” Barty snarled, voice shaking with grief and fury. “Don’t you dare tell me what’s real when you don’t know—”
James spat blood on the floor, still rubbing his jaw.
“I do know,” he growled, “because I just sent mine packing, and if you don’t want yours eating you alive, you’d better—”
“Shut the hell up!” Barty was already scrambling to his feet, shoving James back, breath hitching like he couldn’t keep up with himself. His whole body vibrated with the urge to run somewhere, anywhere, just to get away from the crushing weight in the air.
James gritted his teeth, forcing himself to stay calm even though he was seconds from sending Barty into the nearest wall. And for Regulus’ sake, this was not an option, no matter how hard his knuckles itched.
“Barty,” he tried again. “Whatever you’re seeing is not Evan. It’s a Boggart. It’s showing you exactly what will break you—”
“I don’t care what it is,” Barty spat, but his voice faltered on the last word.
James’ eyes softened, just a fraction.
“Then you should care that it’s killing you.”
Barty’s breathing was erratic now, his eyes darting between James and whatever flicker of Evan still lingered in front of him.
This time Evan’s face was paler, slack, eyes clouded with that milky finality Barty had only ever seen out in the field. Blood slicked the floor, the sound of it dripping echoing like a metronome in the empty classroom.
“Shut up,” he whispered. His voice cracked. “You’re not real.”
But his body betrayed him, his feet were already moving towards that broken figure, the instinct to save him stronger than sense.
“Barty, stop,” James snapped, stepping between them.
“Get out of my way, Potter,” Barty hissed, trying to push past him.
“No. You’re walking straight into it—”
“Don’t tell me what I’m doing!” Barty’s voice was raw, each syllable scraping his throat. His hands trembled, fists clenching and unclenching like he couldn’t hold the grief in his skin.
The Evan on the floor began to laugh. It was a wet, gurgling sound that didn’t belong in any human mouth. His head jerked at an unnatural angle, and his eyes rolled black.
Barty froze, and James felt the temperature drop.
“Barty—look at me!” James’s voice cut through the oppressive quiet, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.
“No,” Barty said, but it was barely more than a breath. His eyes were locked on Evan, whose limbs were twisting, lengthening, every movement a shudder of bone under skin.
The thing’s mouth opened, far too wide, and spoke in Evan’s voice again.
“You let me die.”
Barty flinched like he’d been struck.
“I tried,” he said, and the sound of his own words seemed to splinter him. “I tried, Evan, believe me, I—”
The shadows surged forward, lapping at Barty’s boots, and James’ stomach dropped.
It was pulling him in.
James shoved Barty back hard enough that his shoulders slammed the wall.
“This thing is going to kill you if you keep talking to it!”
James didn’t give himself time to think. He grabbed Barty’s wrist, forcing his wand hand upward, ignoring the way Barty jerked and tried to wrench free.
“Look at it,” James barked, grabbing Barty’s nape with the other hand, forcing him to look at the creature. “It’s not him. It has never been him.”
Barty’s breathing was erratic, almost hyperventilating. His arm trembled under James’ grip.
“I—”
He tried to shake his head, but James’ grip tightened.
“Say it,” James snapped.
Barty’s lips curled back in something between a snarl and a sob.
“It’s not him,” he whispered weakly.
“Louder, Crouch!”
“IT’S NOT HIM!” Barty’s voice cracked in the middle, breaking the hallway’s suffocating silence. “Riddikulus!”
The spell erupted from his wand, slamming into the Boggart with a crack like shattering glass. The figure of Evan shrieked, limbs twisting in on themselves before imploding into a tiny, yipping fox wearing oversized glasses and darted away into nothingness.
In the next heartbeat, the walls of the classroom dissolved like wax, leaving them in a plain, dimly lit room. Dust motes hung in the air, the only piece of furniture a hulking, ancient wardrobe squatting in the centre.
Barty’s breathing was still ragged, his knuckles split and bloody.
The door creaked open and Regulus stepped in first, Remus close behind. Both froze, wide-eyed, their wands half-raised.
Regulus’ gaze snapped to James first, taking in the blood smeared across his lip and the manic tightness in his jaw. Then his eyes flicked to Barty, who was wild-eyed, chest still heaving, hand bruised and bleeding like he’d tried to punch through stone.
His voice was razor-sharp when he spoke.
“What the fuck did you do? Please tell me that you two were not stupid enough to fight each other instead of dealing with whatever the fuck you saw?” His voice cracked like a whip in the air, low and cold, the kind of anger that promised worse if you didn’t answer.
Barty’s throat bobbed, his breath still uneven.
“A Boggart,” he managed, almost a gulp. “It was a fucking Boggart.”
That made Regulus’ head snap toward James, who looked at him like he had grown two heads. But before Regulus could say another word, James moved, crossing the space in three strides and slamming into him, arms wrapping tight around his narrow frame, pulling him hard against his chest.
“You’re alive,” James said, voice breaking on the word. His hands gripped so tightly at Regulus’ back that it was almost bruising.
“Merlin, you’re alive.”
For a moment, Regulus just froze. James could feel the rigid set of his spine, the hesitation in his breath. Then, slowly, his arms came up, fists bunching into James’ torn shirt as if to anchor himself.
“Of course, I am,” Regulus said, but it was softer than it should have been, the words trembling in his throat. “You think I’d—” He broke off, shaking his head and pressing his face briefly into James’ shoulder.
James didn’t let go. Not when his heart was still battering against his ribs, not when the phantom image of Regulus’ lifeless body was still burned behind his eyelids.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he murmured. “I saw—Merlin, I saw—”
Regulus pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes sharp but wet, his own breathing uneven.
“You didn’t lose me.” His hand came up, curling briefly against James’ jaw. “I told you I would find you.”
Behind them, Barty stood tense and silent, his knuckles white, gaze darting between them and the wardrobe in the middle of the room.
“I hate to break the moment,” Remus said, voice low but urgent as the wardrobe started to rattle again, “but we need to get out of here before that fucker crawls out of it again.”
Regulus’ eyes flicked toward the wardrobe, which gave another deep, splintering creak.
None of them argued. They moved fast, slipping out into the corridor, the heavy door slamming shut behind them with a metallic clang that seemed to echo forever.
James didn’t let go of Regulus’ hand. His fingers were laced tight, knuckles white.
“Where have you been?” he demanded, the question sharp with desperation.
“The Illusion Chamber,” Regulus said, and his voice was constricted, almost strangled in his throat.
Barty frowned.
“Is that a real thing? How come you get the illusions and we get a fucking feral creature?”
Remus glanced at Regulus, his jaw clenching hard enough to make the muscle jump. There was something in his eyes, something haunted that made James’ stomach twist.
“What happened?” James asked carefully.
“I… we were trapped in the same illusion,” Remus began, his tone brittle. “It… the room morphed. It showed us our deepest fears.”
“Like a Boggart?” Barty asked.
Remus shook his head.
“Worse. We were trapped inside our own minds. I… I transformed and chased Reggie.”
“You what?” James stopped dead, his voice like a slap in the narrow corridor.
Remus flinched, his eyes dropping.
“James,” Regulus tightened his grip on James’ hand, his tone clipped, “don’t.”
“Sorry.” James swallowed hard, dragging in a breath. “What do you mean you transformed? It isn’t even full moon.”
“It wasn’t a real thing,” Remus said quietly, “but in that world, it was. I… fuck.” His hand went up, dragging over his face, like he could scrub the memory out of his head.
“I arrived at Grimmauld Place,” Regulus spoke suddenly, his voice level but carrying something sharp beneath. “I will not get into the details. Somehow, Moony woke up faster and pulled me out of it in time.”
The corridor stretched on endlessly before them, the light dimming, until the torches became nothing but smudges in the distance. Their footsteps echoed in a hollow rhythm against the dark marble floor.
“I need to find Evan,” Barty said suddenly, his voice hard but pitched low, like even the walls might be listening. “I don’t care what else is in here. He’s somewhere—he has to be.”
“And I need to find Sirius,” Remus countered without looking at him, his eyes fixed ahead.
When they glanced around, they realised that, in fact, there were no doors. Nothing on either side of the corridor, just endless slabs of black marble veined faintly with silver.
“Where are we even going?” Barty whispered.
Regulus shook his head, his face unreadable.
“No fucking idea.”
The air felt heavier the farther they went, a slow, pressing chill that crept in under their skin. The silence was so complete it seemed alive, stretching out between their breaths.
“I don’t like this,” James muttered, his eyes flicking to the featureless walls as if something might step out of them.
“Welcome to the club, Potter,” Barty said, but the usual bite in his voice was dulled.
Remus slowed his pace, his brows knitting.
“It’s funnelling us.”
“What?” Regulus looked over his shoulder.
“There’s only one direction to go. Whoever built this place, whatever this place is, they’re making sure we end up exactly where they want us.”
Notes:
Okay, I promise this is the last chapter where I yap in the end notes 😂
Phobos is the God of fear, and the Boggart is basically his magical twin
James sees Regulus dead and then warped into betrayal, which is his worst-case scenario. Naturally, he refuses to strike at the illusion, because in his mind, doing this would dishonor the truth of his love (you go, Jamie boy, certified Boyfriend of the Year)
Meanwhile, Barty nearly folds under the weight of Evan’s accusations, because guilt is a sneaky bastard and convinces him there must be some truth to it
Anyway, as you alteady know, in this fanfic survival is optional, but hey, there will be awards for those who survived, sooooo there's that
Tldr, in this chapter everyone’s getting a front-row seat to their own personal horror show
That’s it! This one’s a bit shorter because we all know how a Boggart works, but I wanted to keep the allegory vibe going✨
Chapter 32: The lion and the snake
Summary:
Hellooo, I finally wrestled a stable internet connection into submission, which means… new chapter!
Also, I have good news and bad news. Good news? This chapter marks the end of the first part (I’m still deciding if there will be two or three parts), and what better way to end it than with Radiohead?😌
Bad news? Well, I just realised that the next chapter is gone from drafts (my oblivious ass must’ve forgotten to actually click on ‘save as draft’🤡), meaning I will return with a new chapter next week🥲
Notes:
"As the world caves in"- Matt Maltese
"Exit Music (For a Film)"- Radiohead
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The corridor gave way without warning. The new room was rectangular, but the angles felt wrong. Too sharp in some places, too blurred in others, pulling the eye toward the centre where the floor fell away in something that resembled a pit. The stone there was older than the rest, worn into a strange smoothness that didn’t seem like the work of tools. The pit yawned twenty feet down, the drop severe and clean, its interior ringed with descending benches. The steep steps made it feel like an amphitheatre awaiting a judgment no one had survived long enough to deliver.
At its heart rose the archway. It looked impossibly delicate for something carved from stone, the kind of structure that should have collapsed under its own weight long ago. Instead, it stood in still defiance, crowned by a shroud of tattered, sun-bleached fabric that drifted on a ghostly current. Even the veil’s movement was wrong. It didn’t sway like cloth should. It pulsed, like something breathing on the other side.
James’ steps faltered.
“What is this place?” he whispered, voice catching at the edges.
When he turned to Regulus for an answer, he found him rooted in place.
Regulus’ eyes were fixed on the archway with a focus so absolute it looked painful, his pupils blown wide, jaw tight as though holding back something dangerous. The colour had drained from his face, leaving his skin pale against the black of his robes. For one long, brittle heartbeat, he didn’t seem to breathe.
“This…” The word fractured in his throat, barely forming before it escaped. “Can’t be…”
Something deep in the room groaned, and a door opened at the far end, its hinges screeching.
Sirius stepped in first, Mary and Lily just behind him, followed by Marlene and Evan. The sound of their arrival ricocheted off the stone with unnatural clarity, each footfall striking like a drumbeat in the empty space.
Sirius’ gaze scanned the room, and when it landed on the small group across the pit, his expression sharpened.
“Moony?” His voice carried across the chamber, too loudly, though he hadn’t really shouted. In the stillness, it sounded like a voice speaking from the bottom of a grave.
Regulus moved before anyone else could. His hand shot out, gripping Remus’ wrist with a force that startled them both.
“Whatever you do, don’t approach that thing,” he nudged his chin towards the archway.
Remus stiffened, looking down at the pale hand gripping him. “Reg—”
Barty, was halfway down the benches already, his head tilted toward the archway.
“What the fuck is that?”
Regulus’ grip didn’t ease. His voice, when it came, was rough, torn at the edges.
“That is the Veil.”
The silence that followed was complete.
“The what?” Mary’s tone was brittle, her eyes narrowing.
Regulus didn’t blink.
“This is the Death Chamber.”
The words drained what little warmth the room had left.
Barty frowned.
“You mean… like the Ministry rumour?”
“It’s not a rumour,” Regulus said, each word sharp with certainty. His knuckles were white where they gripped Remus, as if letting go would mean losing him to it. “Step through it, and you don’t come back.”
“Right,” James whispered, gulping. “Then, I suppose standing far away from it is in order.”
Regulus threw one glance to the arch and let Remus’ hand go. They all met at the base of the amphitheatre, boots scraping against the ancient stone steps, the air between them charged with a mix of relief and the dread that still clung to the room. The Veil loomed in the background, its silent, restless movement impossible to ignore, but for a moment, it wasn’t the only thing holding their attention.
Sirius didn’t hesitate; the instant his feet hit the floor of the pit, he crossed to Remus and gripped him hard by the shoulders before pulling him in, arms thrown around him like he could keep him there by force. His fingers curled into the fabric of his coat, the hug fierce, almost desperate.
On the other side of the pit, Barty found Evan, his own relief burning more recklessly. He grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in, their mouths colliding in a kiss that tasted of copper and exhaustion. For a few seconds, they forgot the room, the Veil, everything but the fact that they were both still here.
When they finally broke apart, foreheads pressed together, Evan’s breath came unsteady.
“We can’t stay here.”
“No,” Regulus’ voice cut through, sharp enough to command attention. He stood a little apart from the rest, eyes still flicking to the Veil as if it might make a move. “We need to find the bloody scroll, and I have a hunch it’s in this bloody place.”
“What were the words again?” Evan asked, reluctantly stepping back from Barty.
“Only spilled pureblood shall call forth the truth. Lesser blood will be devoured,” Regulus murmured.
“You mean—” Marlene’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“One of us has to die, yeah,” Sirius finished grimly, swallowing hard. “The pureblood thing narrows it down a bit.” He glanced around at the others.
“Not really,” Regulus said. His eyes swept the group before settling somewhere far colder. “Mulciber is also a pureblood. Stripped from the Sacred Twenty-Eight because his niece married a half-blood, but his parents were both pure. His blood will do.”
Barty frowned, pondering the option.
“We don’t even know where the fucker is. He could already be dead by now.”
Sirius let out a huff, dragging his hands through his hair as he turned away from the group.
“And what’s your grand plan, Reggie? Fight Mulciber and kill him? And then what? You’ll do the same for the next task, and the next, until you’re lying in a ditch somewhere?”
“Could you please not? It’s the only way out, and you fucking know it, Sirius. I know that your Gryffindor bleeding heart can’t wrap around it, but trust me,” Regulus said flatly, “if I have to gut him in the dirt for us to get out of this hellhole, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
James flinched at the words, as if they’d been aimed at him.
“Reggie, listen to yourself—” Sirius sighed, shaking his head.
“I am listening,” Regulus snapped. “I’ve been listening this whole damn time while the rest of you have been praying this would end clean. It won’t, and Voldemort made sure of that the second he twisted the Tournament into this nightmare.”
He stepped back, pressing the heels of his palms into his temples, his eyes shutting tight for a moment as if the pressure in his head could drown out the image of the Veil behind them.
“I didn’t come back from that fucking cave to sit on the sidelines. I came back to end this once and for all. For you. For all of us.”
The Veil swayed again, the soundless movement drawing their eyes. Somewhere inside it, in that impossible depth of shadow, the faintest whisper curled toward them.
“Let’s find the scroll and get out of here,” Evan murmured, his eyes never leaving the arch.
They fanned out slowly, the pit’s echo swallowing the sound of their steps as they began their search. No one said aloud that they were all avoiding the dais, skirting the Veil with the kind of instinct reserved for predators you couldn’t see. Still, each of them, whether out of curiosity or the strange pull in the air, found themselves drifting closer than they meant to.
James’ shoulder brushed Sirius’ as they checked the benches for carvings or hidden compartments. On the far side, Marlene tested the stonework for seams, while Barty prowled along the wall, his eyes flicking toward the Veil every few seconds.
Lily’s head turned sharply. She stopped mid-step, brow furrowing.
“Do you hear this?” she whispered.
“What?” Sirius straightened, glancing over from where he was prying at a crack in the stone.
She took a small step toward the archway, her eyes narrowing.
“There is a voice. You really don’t hear it? There is someone there.”
Sirius’ gaze followed hers, and before he realised it, his feet were carrying him forward.
The veil rippled in answer, soft and deliberate.
“Don’t go near,” Regulus’ voice cut sharply from across the room. He had moved closer to the base of the steps, his posture tense, like he was ready to bolt forward if they ignored him. “It tries to lure you.”
Lily froze, glancing back over her shoulder.
“Lure me?”
“It will sound like someone you know,” Regulus said, every word clipped. “Someone you think you can save. But you can’t. It’s not them.”
The veil swayed again, and this time, Sirius thought he heard it too, his name, whispered in a voice that didn’t quite sound like a voice at all, curling around the edges of his mind. He didn’t look at Lily, but he could tell she was still listening.
Across the pit, Evan froze mid-step, his gaze snapping to the archway. His expression went slack, caught somewhere between confusion and disbelief.
“Pandora?”
Barty’s head jerked toward him.
“What?”
“I… I heard—” Evan’s voice was unsteady. “She said my name. She sounded—Merlin, she sounded like she did before—” He moved forward without thinking.
“Evan, don’t—” Barty was there in an instant, fingers locking hard around his arm. “It’s not her.”
On the opposite side, Lily’s eyes widened, her breath catching in her throat.
“Sev?” The name came out like it had been pulled from somewhere deep inside her. She stepped toward the dais, her movements slow, trance-like. “Severus, I’m here! Can you—”
“Lily!” James pulled her back a step. “He’s not there. You know he’s not there.”
But the voices kept coming—soft, coaxing, wrapping around the room like invisible threads pulling taut. Pandora’s laugh. Severus’s low murmur. Dorcas’s gentle, steady tone. Peter’s soft giggle. Each whisper just close enough to feel real, each one carrying that dangerous promise: step closer and you can follow me home.
“I’ll stay near the archway,” Barty said suddenly, his tone brooking no argument. He planted himself a few feet from the dais, arms crossed, eyes sharp. “If any of you so much as drift toward it, I’ll drag you back myself.”
“Are you sure?” Regulus looked at him, and Barty winked.
“There’s no soul that could possibly call me from the other side. The only two that ever mattered are here already. I’ll be fine, Reg.”
Regulus’ throat bobbed and nodded short, then walked the stairs to continue his search.
Minutes bled away, and Sirius’ steps grew faster, his voice sharper as he muttered under his breath. Finally, he threw up his hands.
“This is useless. We’re just wandering in circles while that thing”—he jabbed a finger toward the Veil—“breathes down our necks. We need to do something.”
“Padfoot—” Remus’ tone was low, but Sirius wasn’t hearing it.
“No, Moony. This can’t go on like this. We’re trapped in a bloody death room, searching for a scroll that probably doesn’t exist. We need—”
“Are you looking for this?” the new voice sliced through the chamber.
Mulciber’s voice.
Regulus felt the blade before he saw it, the cold metal pressing into the vulnerable hollow just beneath his jaw. The sharp edge bit enough to sting.
Every instinct in him froze, suspended in the terrible clarity of the moment, because he hadn’t even heard him approach. That alone was enough to set his nerves sparking because Regulus had spent his entire life learning to hear everything. The scrape of a shoe on stone, or the whisper of fabric against the wooden floors. He trained himself to miss nothing.
And yet, this time, he had.
He slightly turned his head and caught sight of Mulciber’s hand. The skin was pale, but beneath it… something moved. Dark tendrils swam under the surface like trapped shadows, writhing in patterns that made Regulus’ stomach tighten. Whatever Mulciber had been through to get here, it had left its mark.
James stopped moving, and every line of his body snapped taut. His grip on his wand tightened until the knuckles stood out bone-white, his voice ragged and raw with terror.
“Let him go, Mulciber.”
Mulciber’s lips curled into a sinister smile.
“You think I don’t know how this works, Potter?” His voice was cracked, triumphant, madness bubbling just beneath the surface.
“You think I haven’t figured out the riddle? That this scroll—” he raised his other hand where a roll of aged parchment was clenched tight “—opens only for blood. Pure blood.”
He laughed again, low and ugly, the sound scraping like gravel.
James’ face was a portrait of unravelling. His chest rose and fell hard, his breath coming in uneven bursts, his mind spinning with a thousand choices, each clawing at him at the same time.
“Let him go, Mulciber. We’ll settle this—”
“Like you settled on murdering Avery?” Mulciber’s voice rose, a sudden snarl. “You think I don’t know what this piece of shit did to him? I saw his head roll from the dais!”
The blade pressed harder, and a thin, sharp line of blood welled at Regulus’ throat, sliding down the column of his neck to soak into the collar of his shirt.
James took a step forward.
“Mulciber—”
“One more step,” Mulciber hissed, “and I'll cut his throat before you even get the chance to tell your whore goodbye.”
Regulus didn’t move. He could feel the tremor in Mulciber’s arm—not from weakness, but from the barely-contained rage running through him like a current.
“Mulciber,” Regulus said, keeping his voice even. “You don’t need to do this.”
Mulciber’s laugh was short and jagged.
“Don’t need to? You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, Black. You—” he gave the blade a tiny, deliberate shift, just enough to remind Regulus how little room there was for mistakes “—you’re the reason my family name is spoken like trash. The reason they spit when they hear it.”
“Your family did that to themselves,” Regulus spoke calmly.
That earned him a hiss of breath through clenched teeth.
“Arrogant, pampered little shit. You think you’re still the little Black prince who can walk around like your blood buys you the right to talk to me like that?”
“You’re the one with the knife at my throat,” Regulus replied quietly. “If anyone here thinks blood makes them untouchable, it’s you.”
Mulciber’s grip tightened.
“You have always been a condescending little bastard. Hiding behind your brother, hiding behind the family crest, hiding behind them—” his eyes flicked briefly to Sirius, and his voice soured further “—like they’d keep you from getting what’s coming for you.”
“You want blood?” Regulus asked, tone as flat as the stone beneath them. “You want pure blood?”
Mulciber barked a wheezing laugh.
“Damn right I do. I want you bleeding at my feet. I want to see Potter break.”
He shifted his weight, the blade still pressing into Regulus’ skin, and that was when he moved. A sharp jerk backward with his elbow, slamming hard into Mulciber’s ribs. The crack of impact echoed in the amphitheatre. He grunted, grip faltering just enough for Regulus to twist free. The dagger skittered across the stone floor, and Regulus spun to face him, already reaching for his wand—
Mulciber roared, lunging forward, swinging a fist. Regulus ducked low, feeling the wind of the strike whip past his temple. Sirius was moving in from the side, Remus from the other, but Mulciber was a wall of violence, shoving them back with bursts of raw, furious magic.
“REG!” James’ voice cut through the chaos.
Regulus didn’t answer; his focus narrowed on Mulciber’s eyes, the gleam of murder there. Mulciber’s wand came up fast, a flick of the wrist too sharp to be anything but lethal.
And then James saw it, the unmistakable shift, the faint hiss of words forming, and the sickly green glow erupting at the wand’s tip.
“Avada—”
James didn’t think about the consequences. His own wand was already raised, magic flooding through him in a searing wave.
“Avada Kedavra!”
The words tore out of him raw, not cold and calculated but spat like a curse far older than the spell itself.
The flash of green struck Mulciber square in the chest before his own words could fully form. The impact knocked him back, his body hitting the stone with a hollow, final sound. His eyes froze wide, already vacant, his wand slipping uselessly from his fingers as the glow sputtered into nothing.
Silence swallowed the room.
Sirius’ mouth opened like he wanted to say something, then closed again. Marlene took a step back. Lily’s gaze darted between Mulciber’s body and James, as though trying to associate the boy who had once laughed with her under the Astronomy Tower with the man who had just wielded death itself. None of them ever used this spell, no matter how hard or how desperate they had been.
Barty and Evan were the only ones who looked rather surprised by how things escalated.
James’ chest heaved, eyes locked on the still body like he was daring it to move again. The hand gripping his wand was rigid, knuckles bloodless. And though the spell had ended, the green light still seemed to burn in the depths of his eyes, pulsing like a brand that wouldn’t fade.
When he finally moved, he stepped over Mulciber’s body without even looking down, crossing the space in long, unyielding strides until he reached Regulus. He gripped the back of his neck with a fierce, almost desperate intensity and pulled him close, pressing their foreheads together as though this was the only thing that kept him from shattering.
“He was going to kill you,” James whispered, his voice low and raw.
Regulus grabbed James before he could pull away, fingers curling into the collar of his coat with a force that left no room for misunderstanding. His eyes locked onto James’, still wild and reflecting that killing green, but underneath, there was something softer and far more dangerous. A shadow of something that Regulus’ once saw in himself the first time he spoke those words. The first time the green light erupted from his wand and left him hollow and trembling in the aftermath.
He saw the question forming behind James’ eyes.
Am I still a good person?
Regulus knew that sensation. He had lived it, breathed it, drowned in it for years.
“I love you,” Regulus said, the words falling out, urgent and unflinching. “Do you hear me, James? This changes nothing. You are still you, James.”
For a heartbeat, James just stared at him, chest heaving, pulse roaring in his ears. Then he reached down and kissed Regulus. Desperate and bruising, pouring everything he felt into it.
When he pulled back, he did so only to kneel, hand trembling as he pried the scroll from Mulciber’s stiffened grip. The seal cracked with a sharp, decisive snap, and the parchment unfurled, its surface marked in strange, looping runes that seemed to swim against the page.
“So, it didn’t exactly need physical blood,” Evan muttered from somewhere to the left, his voice still shaky. “Just a death.”
“Yeah,” James said, gaze fixed on the shifting lines. “Just a death.”
The scroll pulsed. A single flicker of light. Faint at first, but so terribly wrong. Then another flared across the surface, brighter and hotter, the glow crawling into the runes like molten veins. Regulus’ gut twisted, a violent warning tearing through every nerve. Something in those lights was not right.
“James—” he started, but it was already too late. The runes along the edge erupted into searing brilliance, every symbol igniting like fire. The air thickened and warped, curling around them in waves of blistering heat.
Then came the pull. It hit Regulus like a hook driven deep into his core, yanking hard enough to wrench the breath from his lungs. Pressure crushed in from all sides, vertigo spinning him sideways. Space didn’t just shift, but rather collapsed.
The arch—gone.
The chamber—gone.
Mulciber’s corpse—gone.
Everything was swallowed whole.
Darkness slammed down like a tidal wave, obliterating everything around him.
And then—
Stone rose up to meet them with a bone-jarring crack. The air rushed from Regulus’ lungs in a single, brutal exhale while his mouth filled with the hot, metallic tang of blood. He gagged, coughing it out as he forced himself onto his elbows, ears ringing with an awful, hollow hum.
Beside him, James hit the ground with a grunt, one arm curling instinctively around his ribs. Somewhere to the side, Mary’s high-pitched squeak cut through the ringing, sharp and terrified. Sirius’ voice followed—low, furious, unleashing a string of curses that landed heavy in the thick, cold air.
The floor beneath them was rough-hewn stone, and even though the air was damp and freezing, the Death Chamber was gone.
This place… whatever it was… was worse.
It felt worse.
A drawing room, if one could still call it that, though whatever finery had once graced it had long been stripped away, peeled back to bare stone and shadow until nothing of comfort or welcome remained. The walls rose high and indifferent, cold as a tomb, their surfaces interrupted only by the ragged ghosts of tapestries, torn down to their frayed edges. They hung there like flayed skins, swaying faintly in the stale, stagnant air.
The hearth at the far wall was nothing more than a blackened hollow, its mouth gaping wide in silent hunger. No fire had burned there in decades, maybe centuries. The floor underfoot was rough, uneven stone, the kind that pressed cruelly through the soles of boots and kept the cold anchored deep in their bones. There were no torches, no candles, only the suggestion of light, enough to outline different shapes.
And across the vast, bare space, already positioned as if this moment had been staged long before they ever arrived, stood the Death Eaters. Not the masked rabble, not the nameless ranks. These were the true inner circle. The devout. The ones whose loyalty had been purchased not with promises, but with something far more irreversible.
Lucius Malfoy stood first among them, every inch of him gleaming like a finely honed blade. His posture was impeccable, expression the same as before: a mask of cool disdain. But his eyes were alive—scanning, dissecting, cataloguing each face in turn, already plotting where the weaknesses lay.
Beside him, Bellatrix Lestrange looked as though the air itself was intoxicating her. Her hair was a wild, matted halo around her face, and her grin, sharp and unrestrained, cut deep enough to show the hunger beneath it. It wasn’t the hunger of the starving. It was the hunger of someone who had already eaten and wanted to devour again. Her delight was fever-bright, twitching at the corners, almost obscene in its intensity.
Rodolphus lingered in her shadow, his presence quieter but no less lethal. He didn’t speak. That man never spoke. One hand twitched at his side, reflexively curling toward the hilt of a wand he did not yet raise. He was coiled as if awaiting a single word to tip him from stillness into violence.
And at their centre, the point around which the entire room seemed to bend, stood Voldemort.
Cassiopeia was there too, half a step behind him. Her face was an empty canvas, stripped of anything human. But her eyes burned. A steady, silent fire, not the frantic blaze of Bellatrix’ madness, but something colder, older, and far more dangerous.
Voldemort did not speak at first. He simply stood, and the room reshaped itself around his stillness. His robes were so black they did not merely swallow the dim light, but rather seemed to erase it, to draw it inward and smother it. Draped across his shoulders, Nagini lay in a languid coil, a grotesque parody of regalia. Her scales shimmered faintly as she moved, her great head lifting in slow arcs to taste the air, her tongue flickering toward them with a wet, delicate hiss.
When his gaze swept across the room, it did so with surgical precision. Those red, depthless eyes slid from one face to the next, slow and deliberate, as though lingering just long enough to leave a mark no one else could see. When they reached Regulus, it was like stepping naked into an arctic wind. A thin, glacial crawl slid under his skin, threading through muscle and bone until even his heartbeat felt slow and heavy.
Between them all, lying on the rough stone like an offering at an altar, was the scroll. Its faint glow was still alive, though dimmer now, pulsing like the last stubborn heartbeat of something already dying. It looked small there, almost fragile, but the way it was placed made it clear that it had been nothing but bait.
“Well,” Voldemort murmured at last. His voice was soft, dangerously soft, yet its edges were honed to razors. The sound moved through the room like a serpent through the grass, brushing past each of them before settling in their ears.
“You have delivered the key. And spilled the blood required.”
When his eyes returned to Regulus, the chill deepened. He could feel the amusement there, subtle and poisonous. That grotesque satisfaction of a predator that didn’t need to chase anymore because the prey had walked willingly into its jaws.
“And already,” Voldemort said, as if commenting on the weather, “one of our own lies dead.” He did not look toward where Mulciber’s body should have been. His name was not spoken. He was already less than a memory. A footnote in a history that only Voldemort would write.
The silence that followed was not empty. It was watching.
Whatever line had once existed between plan and consequence, between the living and the damned had been shattered the moment the scroll took them.
And there would be no going back.
The sound came first, then footsteps, sharp against stone, measured and echoing through the chamber with a slow, deliberate rhythm that grated against Regulus’ nerves like a serrated edge drawn over bone. Each step rang out with cruel precision, not hurried, not hesitant, but designed. A performance of power and inevitability that scraped across the bare walls and made the air itself seem to shrink. He clenched his jaw against the rising pressure, feeling it in his teeth, in his spine, in the fine tremble of adrenaline that had not yet left him.
Sections of plaster, cracked and discolored with age, groaned open on hinges he hadn’t seen, revealing doorways that yawned wide with slow, theatrical menace, exhaling cold drafts of air that smelled of dust and old magic.
And then they came.
A procession. A silent march of black-robed figures, each one draped in shadow. They fanned out around the perimeter of the room in a perfect arc, a dark halo around Voldemort and his chosen few. They moved like ghosts, like soldiers, like predators dressed for ceremony, and as they came to a halt, he felt their gaze, though he could not see it.
The first was Rabastan, whose poise betrayed him more than any gesture ever could. His mask caught the low light just right, revealing the faintest glint of blue behind the eye-slit. He did not hold himself like Rodolphus — not ramrod straight, not with that barely-leashed frenzy — no, Rabastan stood like a man at ease, one hand resting lightly on the hilt of his wand, his shoulders relaxed, almost lazy. But it was a lie. Regulus knew the truth beneath that carefully constructed ease. Every fibre of him was tuned, watching and measuring. He had found Regulus in the crowd, and he had not looked away.
Next was Illyan.
He might as well have been carved from obsidian. His massive frame dwarfed those around him, and yet he moved with eerie restraint, his breathing imperceptible, a statue that only hinted at life. But then, when Regulus shifted, only slightly, a half-step of adjustment, he moved too. The barest turn of his head. A flick of attention. So subtle it might’ve gone unnoticed by anyone else. But he saw it.
His chest ached.
The rest was a blur. Dolohov in a corner, Yaxley right next to him. By the door, Greyback snarled like a feral creature at anyone who dared to approach him.
When Voldemort spoke, his voice slid into the air like silk soaked in venom, soft and slow and precise, each syllable flayed of warmth.
“You see now, this is what matters in my world,” he murmured, and as he lifted a pale, thin hand in a slight gesture, the ranks of Death Eaters behind him seemed to ripple with quiet pride. “Loyalty. Strength. Sacrifice.” He let the final word fall with deliberate gravity, a weight that hung in the air like a guillotine.
His crimson gaze drifted, leisurely, toward the scroll lying still on the stone floor.
“Did you truly think this was the end?” he asked, voice like a blade unsheathing. “No. This is the beginning. The opening move on a far larger board.”
The room chilled.
“You have survived,” he continued, arms spread wide like a mockery of welcome. “And survival, my dear children, is rewarded.”
His eyes, red, slit-pupiled, and glittering with malice, swept over them like firelight over dry grass.
“No more trials. No more tests.” He let the moment stretch. “You have earned… freedom.”
Regulus’ stomach twisted. His breath caught. There was something wrong in the way he said it. Too heavy. Too smooth. Too easy.
And then—
“Regulus Black, Bartemius Crouch Jr., and Evan Rosier.”
The names slid from Voldemort’s tongue like a silk thread pulled taut, each one hanging in the air before the next was spoken. He raised a single finger, long, pale, and unwavering, as though directing the hand of fate itself.
“Come forward.”
Evan flinched like he’d been struck by a lash, the soundless crack of it written in the jerk of his shoulders. His jaw worked, but no words came. Beside him, Barty swallowed hard, the sharp movement in his throat a desperate attempt to keep something down, rage or terror or both.
Regulus did not flinch. He moved. Slow, steady, like his body had been set in motion long before his mind caught up. Like some part of him had always known this moment was inevitable, carved into his path the day he first let himself be drawn into Voldemort’s orbit.
And yet, before he stepped forward, his eyes found Cassiopeia. Her eyes burned not with pride, nor cold detachment, but with something far more human—horror. She shook her head once, the movement small enough to be missed by anyone not looking for it. Then her gaze flicked toward Bellatrix and Rodolphus. Both had their wands in hand, angled low but ready, the way wolves might lower their heads just before the leap.
The message was clear. If he refused whatever was about to happen, if he so much as faltered even for an instant, Sirius and James would be dead before he drew his next breath.
There was no way out.
Regulus’ chest tightened, a cold knot forming just beneath his sternum. He didn’t dare look toward them, didn’t dare let his eyes betray anything, but the knowledge sat there, heavy and final. His steps were not his own as he moved into the narrow gap Voldemort’s followers had left between them, the human corridor lined with faces carved from stone.
They walked stiffly, their boots whispering against the stone in a sound that felt too loud in the stillness. Boys, because that’s all they really were, carrying too many ghosts in their eyes, wearing the weight of choices they’d never truly been given.
None of them spoke.
When they reached the space before him, Voldemort’s gaze swept over them like the slow, deliberate movement of a knife being sharpened.
“You have won your Dark Mark,” he crooned, the words curling in the air like smoke. His voice had softened now, coaxing, almost indulgent. Seductive in the way a predator’s purr might soothe its prey just before the bite.
“Your loyalty shall be sealed with blood.”
Time cracked.
The world narrowed to a single, burning point, and in that point was the pulse of his own horror, drumming against his ribs in a rhythm he couldn’t slow. He could feel Barty tense beside him, could hear Evan’s uneven breath. And still, he stepped forward.
Voldemort’s hand moved with slow precision, drawing his wand from within the folds of his robe. The motion was deliberate, ceremonial, as though every inch was a prelude to something inevitable.
“On your knees,” he said.
The words were quiet, but they struck with the force of a hammer.
Regulus obeyed because he had to, because to hesitate was to sign Sirius’ and James’ death warrants, because Bellatrix’ fingers twitched in the corner of his vision and Rodolphus’ wand was steady in his grip. His knees hit the stone hard, the cold biting up through bone, as he kept his gaze fixed on the floor.
The shame was a physical thing, a heat in his cheeks that no cold could cut. But it wasn't because he was kneeling in front of Voldemort, but because James was standing there, watching, and every part of him screamed not to let his eyes meet his. This wasn’t something James should see.
Voldemort began to speak. The words were not English, nor any language Regulus knew. They were low, sinuous syllables, winding around each other like serpents, some too harsh to be shaped by a human mouth. They thrummed in the air, in his teeth, in the marrow of his bones.
And then the pain came.
It started in his forearm, a sharp sting that burrowed deep, and then spread, tendrils of heat unfurling beneath the skin. He hissed through clenched teeth, the sound swallowed by the echoing chamber. The mark wasn’t simply burned into him; it felt as though something alive was forcing its way in, curling through muscle and vein, rooting itself. The heat moved through him, up into his chest, down into his gut, until it was everywhere. He could feel Voldemort’s magic like cold fingers slipping into his blood, dragging a shadow behind it. It was intimate in the most obscene way, an intrusion that had no physical touch but left him stripped bare all the same.
Barty let out a sharp, guttural noise beside him, half-growl, half-cry, his back arching as though to get away from it. Evan swore under his breath, his voice hoarse, low enough that it was almost a prayer. None of them wanted this, none of them welcomed it, and the magic knew. It fought to take root, to bend them to its will.
Regulus’ breathing grew shallow, rapid, his heart hammering in protest. He imagined raking his nails down his own arm, tearing the thing out before it could finish. But he stayed still, jaw locked, every muscle rigid. The cold voice in his head told him it didn’t matter anyway. No one tore it out and lived.
When it was done, and the pain faded into a deep, lingering ache, the shadow of Voldemort’s magic remained, coiled low and heavy like something sleeping just beneath the skin. Regulus’ arm throbbed in time with his pulse, and the shame was heavier than the ache. He didn’t need to look to know James had seen everything.
Voldemort’s wand lowered with an almost languid slowness, the last threads of the incantation dissipating into the stale air.
His gaze lingered on the three of them, a predator idly assessing its catch, and then slid away as if they were already owned, already marked, no longer a matter of curiosity.
Nagini shifted across his shoulders, her coils tightening with a faint, sinuous rustle.
“Stand,” Voldemort ordered.
Regulus obeyed, the movement mechanical, his knees aching from the stone. Barty’s breath was still uneven beside him, his hands twitching like he wanted to claw at his own arm. Evan kept his chin low, expression carved into something blank and defiant all at once.
Around them, the Death Eaters were a wall of shadows and sharp edges. Bellatrix’ grin had widened into something fevered, as though she’d witnessed a particularly exquisite performance. She looked at Regulus like she wanted to laugh at him, and perhaps, to some extent, she already was. Rodolphus’ eyes showed a trace of cold satisfaction. Lucius said nothing, but his faint nod carried a sort of detached approval, as though the rite had confirmed what he already knew.
Only Cassiopeia was still watching him with that same unblinking horror, her lips pressed into a line so tight it might have been pain.
“You may go,” Voldemort said, already turning away, his attention shifting elsewhere as though they’d been reduced to mere tools, returned to storage until called upon again.
There was no bow, no ceremony of departure, only the unspoken understanding that lingering was dangerous. They began to move, their steps stiff.
And then James was beside him.
Regulus didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. The silence between them was sharp-edged, a blade pressed flat against the back of his neck. He could feel James there, could feel the heat of his gaze, and it burned hotter than the ache in his arm. He imagined the expression on his face, the fury, the confusion, maybe even disgust, and it made something twist painfully in his chest.
But neither spoke.
They stood side-by-side, pretending, because they had to. Pretending that nothing had been broken, nor taken. Pretending that they were just two people, not someone who had been marked and someone who had been forced to watch it happen.
“The rest of you…” Voldemort said, turning his attention back to them, “are spoils.”
The word landed like a slap that echoed in Regulus’ skull. He almost didn’t hear the rest.
“Free men and women,” he said, lips curling. “Free… to be acquired.”
It took Regulus a moment to understand.
And when it did, his knees almost buckled.
Spoils.
Not survivors.
Not warriors.
Property.
A tremor went through the Death Eaters, a low murmur of dark amusement and satisfaction. A ripple of approval that smelled like hunger. Wolves, scenting prey. Auctioneers appraising flesh.
Sirius shifted again, barely restraining the instinct to fight. To run. To do something.
Regulus saw Marlene falter, her mouth open in shock. Lily’s eyes were wide, glittering with tears she hadn’t yet blinked free. Remus stood behind them all, his face unreadable, his grief buried under too many layers.
Rabastan was watching Regulus again.
Wait, it said.
Voldemort turned, graceful and slow, like a serpent uncoiling, his voice smooth as poisoned silk.
"Now… let us distribute our prizes. One by one. You may claim them… if you have the galleons, the favor, or the right."
The air snapped with quiet, ugly anticipation.
And then he lifted that spidery hand and pointed, his voice slicing through the heavy air.
"Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald. Step forward."
Lily stiffened as if struck. Mary made a choked sound, her hand instinctively searching for Lily’s again. But there was nowhere to run. No exit. Only forward.
Voldemort’s gaze flicked over the room.
"Who makes the claim?"
It was Barty who stepped forward, the same crooked smile on his lips, his eyes fever-bright. Regulus knew this mask like the back of his hand.
“I do, my Lord,” he said, bowing low. "I claim both."
He glanced up, and his gaze dragged over Lily like a brand.
"For the cause, of course. Two Mudbloods for the price of one."
Lily's face crumpled for a heartbeat, a flash of helpless fury and humiliation, before she forced it back behind steel. Mary was shaking, small and silent, her nails biting into Lily’s wrist.
Voldemort inclined his head.
"Accepted."
The girls were hauled to the side, herded like livestock.
The silence that followed was thicker.
"Marlene McKinnon." Voldemort’s voice turned sharp again. "Step forth."
Marlene moved like a sleepwalker, her face blank and unreadable, but her hands were fists at her sides.
It was Cassiopeia who made the claim this time, her voice a purr.
“I will take her, my Lord. I find myself in dire need of a new handmaid. The last one didn't last."
Voldemort simply inclined his head and waved his hand, dismissing Marlene entirely.
"Remus Lupin."
The name cracked through the chamber like a whip. Remus flinched, shoulders tightening, but he forced himself to step forward with that battered dignity he had cultivated over years of surviving disdain and suspicion.
Illyan Muldoon stepped forward and grinned, showing too many teeth.
"I'll take the halfbreed, my Lord," Illyan said smoothly, his tone dripping with proprietorship. "A fine addition to my collection. Such… potential."
From the corner, Greyback’s low growl rumbled through the room. He shifted forward, fangs glinting in the faint glow of the torches.
"He’s mine," Greyback spat, claws flexing. "I’ve wanted this one for years."
Illyan’s grin didn’t waver; in fact, it widened. He stepped closer, his voice a hiss that carried authority and warning.
"Back off, Fenrir. You think you can claim him? I am a member of Lord Voldemort’s internal refinement squad. My authority here is unquestionable."
Greyback lunged slightly, but Illyan’s hand flicked toward him, a subtle yet unmistakable gesture of dominance.
"Do not test me, mutt."
Voldemort’s cold, serpentine eyes swept the room.
"Illyan." His voice was quiet, but it carried the weight of absolute command. "Take the halfbreed."
Illyan’s grin widened even further, sharp and calculating. "Thank you, my Lord. He will be most… cooperative."
Greyback snarled again, retreating just enough to keep from breaking command, but his eyes burned with unmasked fury.
"This isn’t over," he spat, low and dangerous.
Remus didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. His jaw worked, muscles flexing under taut skin, and Regulus could see every subtle sign of the storm contained within him.
"Sirius Black."
Sirius barked a bitter laugh, loud and sharp, but there was no humour in it.
"Figures," he muttered under his breath as he stepped forward.
"I claim him," Rabastan Lestrange said smoothly, stepping from the shadows before Bellatrix had the chance to open her filthy mouth. "What another place for servitude than his own blood?"
Sirius’s jaw clenched. He didn’t move, but his eyes, when they found Regulus’ across the room, were dark and wild. Rabastan’s smirk deepened as he counted out the galleons in front of Voldemort like they were nothing.
And then—
"James Potter."
The name cracked through the chamber like a whip, sharp enough to echo.
James’ head lifted, and though his face was schooled into something steady, every muscle in his body was drawn tight.
Lucius Malfoy moved first. He stepped forward with a slow, deliberate grace, his polished boots whispering against the stone. His blonde hair gleamed in the low light, every strand in its place, his posture a portrait of aristocratic ease. The faintest curl touched his lips.
"My Lord," he began, his voice smooth as poured silk, "I would be honoured to claim the Potter boy. He has potential that should not be wasted." His pale eyes slid toward James with the air of a collector assessing an unpolished gem. "With proper guidance, he could be refined into something useful."
The room tensed. A subtle shift, but it was there—the way shoulders drew back, the way eyes flicked between Voldemort, Lucius, and James. The air seemed to thicken, charged with the expectation of blood without a blow being struck.
And Regulus felt something cold and sharp twist in his gut. There was no way in hell Lucius Malfoy, slippery, self-serving, perfectly calculating Lucius, was going to lay a hand on his James.
His voice cut through before Voldemort could answer.
"I invoke my family’s right, my Lord."
Every head turned as Regulus stepped forward, each stride deliberate. His face was calm now, serene, even, but his eyes… his eyes were steel drawn over flint, ready to spark. He stopped within reach of the glowing circle of power at the centre of the floor.
"I am heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black," he said, the title falling from his tongue like the recitation of a law carved in stone. "By blood and by right, I claim James Potter under my family’s servitude."
A ripple of reaction swept the room. Whispers broke out instantly, like the rustle of serpents in dry grass. Bellatrix’ head snapped toward him, her face twisting in something between outrage and vicious amusement.
Lucius’ smile thinned but didn’t break.
"Regulus," he drawled, "surely you understand the weight of what you’re claiming. This is no mere—"
"Spare me the lecture, Malfoy," Regulus cut in, his tone glacial. "I know exactly what I am claiming, and I won’t repeat myself."
Lucius’ eyes narrowed, the mask of civility pulling taut.
"The boy would serve better under my instruction. I have resources you cannot—"
"Resources?" Regulus stepped closer, his voice lowering to a blade’s edge. There was a tinge of cold amusement in his voice. "What you mean is a leash. You want him for the same reason you want anything—because it adds to your shine. You’ll polish him until you can see your own reflection and call it improvement, but in reality, there is nothing improved there." He tilted his head, eyes never leaving Lucius’. "James Potter doesn’t belong on a shelf in your collection."
Lucius’ jaw ticked.
"And you think he belongs with you? A Black who turned his back on the family name?"
Regulus’ smile was small.
"You seem to have missed the point, Lucius, and I understand. You were always more interested in staring at your own reflection, rather than learn something useful. You see, I was never fully disowned by my family. Not the way my wretched brother has been, anyway. My mother cut my access to the vaults and elves, but my father never took me out of the will. For your better understanding," Regulus lowered his voice, "as per the magical law, the name is mine to use, however I wish. And right now, I’m using it to claim him."
Even Voldemort seemed faintly amused, his head tilting just so, crimson eyes glinting as they passed between the two men.
"A bold claim, Regulus Black."
Regulus bowed low, formal, his voice unwavering when he said, "I stand by it, my Lord."
Voldemort let the moment stretch, savouring it, the way a serpent might draw out the second before the strike.
"And why," he asked softly, each word deliberate, "should you claim James Potter, Regulus Black? What would you do with him that another could not?"
Regulus didn’t blink. He couldn’t afford to. He kept his voice low, smooth, deferential, but wrapped in iron.
"To break him, my Lord."
The words landed like dropped glass.
Regulus didn’t pause, didn’t breathe wrong.
"Too many years he laughed in my face. Mocked who I was and what I represented. He thought himself untouchable." His tone never wavered, the lie dressed in the skin of truth. "I would… like to remind him who he is and where he stands. Thoroughly."
It was exactly the kind of thing Voldemort loved to hear, and Regulus hated himself for it.
Despised the way the words left his mouth without even a tremor. Despised even more the way James flinched when they hit him, his eyes cutting toward Regulus for just an instant—hurt flickering there.
The Dark Lord’s smile deepened, slow and cold.
"Very well. Accepted."
Notes:
Remember when I promised the characters would finally get rewarded? Yeah… well, God forbid a girl writes without sneaking in another plot twist
Also, this was Evan's "death". That is why he was not able to see his future in the previous chapter, because his future actually belongs to Voldy now
Chapter 33: Back to the roots
Summary:
Hello again!!
Did you miss me? (Okay, maybe not me-me, but definitely the fanfic. Let’s be real.) I know I left you hanging last time, and honestly, if I were a reader, I’d be cursing the author, too
ANYWAY, chapter’s here, angst is back on the menu, flirting is served as a side dish, and I’ll see you in the comments 😌
Chapter Text
Part II- The Relics
The words fell like a death knell.
Regulus turned, his gaze finally meeting James’ with that same steely promise. He stood there, his chest heaving, his hands clenched so tight that Regulus knew that his nails must have been biting into his palms.
They had survived the trials. They had endured blood and near-death experiences until their bodies were nothing but raw nerves and stubborn will. But this was the real humiliation, not the trials, not living on the brink of existence for years. Not even feeding from their scraps.
The real humiliation was to be bought. To be claimed. To be parcelled like trophies of a game they hadn’t even chosen to play.
And Regulus felt something shift inside him.
He watched the other standing in tight, miserable clusters, their faces pale and sick. Sirius looked like he was ready to rip someone’s throat out with his bare teeth. Marlene’s body was trembling so hard it took both Lily and Mary to keep her from falling.
But Regulus straightened his back and raised his chin, because for the first time in years, he saw the pieces finally falling into place. The air around him seemed to shift—less suffocating, less heavy with the scent of servitude, and more alive with possibility. He was no longer a pawn to be moved at another’s whim, discarded the moment his usefulness ended. No. He had been marked. Initiated. Bound to their circle not as property, not as the plaything of older, crueller men, but as one of them. An equal.
Since the cave, he had been sharpening his weapons—not steel or wandwork alone, but subtler tools: silence, patience, guile. He had tried in a dozen different ways to move closer to Voldemort’s inner sanctum, never overreaching, never rushing. Every step calculated. Every failure absorbed, studied, tucked into memory as a lesson. And now, finally, he was inside.
Now, he could see the board from the other side.
They thought they had claimed him. That the Mark seared into his flesh meant his will belonged to them. That he was just another mindless dog, broken in, collar snapped around his neck, taught to heel and bite when commanded. The notion almost amused him. Regulus felt the curl of a smile threaten his mouth and had to bury it, lest someone notice.
They had no idea who they’d brought to their table.
For years, he had practiced this very deception. He had deceived his parents first, and hadn’t that been the finest rehearsal? He had smiled through their endless lessons, playing the obedient son with the face of a saint. He had nodded gravely when they whispered in triumph that he was the true heir, the Black worthy of the name. He had swallowed every sermon on blood purity, nodding dutifully as if each word were gospel, while inside his mind wandered elsewhere.
And now, he repeated the same performance on a grander stage. Voldemort and his chosen circle of wolves and vultures saw the mask, and not the man. They saw pliancy, not calculation. They saw loyalty, not restraint. They saw youth and imagined naïveté, and in that miscalculation lay his power.
The trick was not to oppose them openly. That was suicide. The trick was to let them think he agreed. Let them believe he was bound by awe, or by terror, or by the craving for power like all the rest. The mask was everything.
Bellatrix, perhaps, had glimpsed the edge of the truth. Her mad eyes lingered on him too long, her laugh too sharp when he played the part too well. But Bellatrix was mercurial, and madness had a way of discrediting even the keenest observations. He would let her see fragments, just enough to fuel her paranoia, just enough that when she finally snapped, the others would laugh and call it her hysteria. Oh, how delicious that day would be, when her warnings, ignored and mocked, rotted on her tongue and left her standing alone.
Yes. Let them underestimate him. Let them believe they held him in their palm. A man dismissed as a pawn has the luxury of moving unseen.
The Mark still pulsed under his skin. Still hot and raw, but his mind was trained on something else now. He was a keeper now, holding the pieces in his hands, and he would bind his time. Especially now that everyone was safe.
He would find a way to go deeper.
He would worm his way into Voldemort’s mind until the Dark Lord had no secrets left to hoard. He would become the shadow that follows him, the echo in every chamber, the crack in the foundation no one had seen until the entire structure finally came crashing down.
Because that was the truth of power, wasn’t it? Not in the flash of a duel or the bravado of a shouted curse. Power lived in the pause. In what no one saw. In the quiet manoeuvres no one accounted for until it was too late.
And he would wait. He would endure. He would wear every insult, every lash of suspicion, every burn of the Mark—until the board was cleared. Pawns swept aside. Knights toppled. Bishops stripped of their sanctimony. Rooks broken into dust. Queens dethroned.
Until the only players left were himself and the monster who orchestrated this entire theatre of blood and fear.
Voldemort.
And when that day came, when all the pieces lay scattered and the world held its breath, it would not be Regulus Black who bent the knee.
It would be the Dark Lord himself.
He watched Voldemort’s smile stretch thin, his teeth barely visible, but the triumph in his voice was a blade that pressed against every throat in that chamber.
“It is done,” he announced. “My faithful… You may take your acquisitions and return to your homes. Let them be shaped, broken, or sharpened as you see fit. They are yours now—by gold, by right, by conquest.”
The room pulsed with an awful energy, a ripple of cruel satisfaction passing through the ranks of Death Eaters gathered in the shadows.
“You are no longer needed to linger in these school halls. Return to your ancestral manors. You have earned that much.”
Rabastan Lestrange stepped forward first, a slight smirk cutting across his sharp features as he clapped a heavy hand on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius wrenched away from the touch, his face a mask of fury and disgust, but Rabastan only laughed under his breath.
“Time to put your muzzle, Black,” he murmured with mockery so sharp it might as well have been a knife. “We’ll see how well you bite after.”
Sirius’ eyes flickered to his brother, then to Remus, a flash of panic buried deep beneath the rage. Regulus stood where he was, watching as Rabastan steered him away.
Cassiopeia Selwyn moved next, her heels clicking softly on the marble as she gestured with a flick of her fingers. Marlene bristled, every inch of her screaming defiance, but even she knew that if she struck now, there’d be no coming back.
Illyan grumbled something and grabbed Remus by the arm.
"You’ll come quietly, Lupin," he said, his voice rough and distant. But his eyes… they flickered to Regulus, and in that flicker, he caught the ghost of another promise.
I’ll take care of him.
Lily and Mary were herded by Barty, who was already humming under his breath like a boy with a new toy. Lily’s face was deathly pale, but her chin lifted as she caught Regulus’ eye. Fierce and defiant, even now. Even in chains.
And then Voldemort’s eyes slid back to Regulus.
"My faithful Black, you may return him to your family seat."
Regulus stepped forward, his posture perfect, his face carved from stone. Only his eyes gave him away — hard and dark as flint.
He gave a shallow bow.
"Thank you, my Lord. I will see him properly… acclimated."
Voldemort’s thin lips curled.
"See that you do."
James stood frozen until Regulus’ hand closed around his arm, firm but not cruel, even though this was exactly what he wanted to show, and jerked him back to motion.
"Move," he muttered low. "Before someone else changes their mind and empties their Gringotts vault."
Regulus caught one last glimpse of Sirius, his face twisted in helpless fury, before he hauled James toward the door. The cold, empty click of the great chamber’s lock sliding shut behind them sounded like the lid of a tomb sealing tight.
The corridor outside was dark, stone walls damp with centuries of forgotten blood. Regulus didn’t loosen his grip until they reached a side hall, far from any lingering ears.
When he let him go, James spun on him, his breath ragged and his chest burning.
"You took it," he hissed, his voice raw. "You took the Mark. Regulus, do you know what—do you understand what you’ve done?"
"To keep you alive," he snapped back, his mask cracking for the first time. His eyes blazed, sharp enough to cut. "You were two seconds away from Bellatrix or Rodolphus killing you and Sirius. I had to do it, James. There was no other way."
James’ chest heaved, the words battering around his throat with nowhere to go.
“That’s not—Regulus, that’s not a price you get to pay! That Mark, it’s—fuck—it’s forever. It’s chains, it’s…” His voice cracked, the sound high and frayed. “It’s Voldemort under your skin, every second of every day. How the hell am I supposed to protect you from that?”
He turned to him fully now, his green eyes hard as steel, but flickering underneath was something else — something alive.
“I know you hate this. Trust me, I fucking despise it too. But it worked. It bought us time and space. And more than that, everyone is safe now. Scattered, but safe.”
James’ heart hammered so hard it hurt. His throat was dry as old parchment, his lungs burning with the weight of it. He shook his head, helpless and furious and terrified all at once.
“Safe? You call this safe? You’ve branded yourself for me, for all of us, and what happens when he calls? What happens when you can’t get away, when he uses you the way he wants? I can’t—” His voice broke again, ragged.
Regulus’ jaw tightened, but he didn’t flinch. Instead, he stepped closer, close enough that James could feel the heat of his breath when he spoke.
“We can’t do this here, James. You can’t fall apart here. You can’t scream about this where they can hear us. You think Bellatrix doesn’t already suspect there is something between us? You think she wouldn’t love to drag you out by your fucking throat?”
James’ lips parted, but no words came. His whole body shook with everything he wanted to say and couldn’t.
Regulus looked around him and reached up suddenly, fingers wrapping around the back of James’ neck, grounding him. His voice dropped, quieter, but no less firm.
“We’ll talk after, I promise.”
James clenched his teeth, dragging in a breath through his nose, fighting down the storm clawing through him. He nodded once, jerky, like it cost him everything to do it, and followed Regulus as he darted through the empty corridors.
When they were finally far enough from the echo of Death Eater laughter, James found his voice again, hoarse and raw.
"Then this is it, huh? Now we fight back. We just need to find somewhere safe enough for the meetings. Somewhere no one—"
“Grimmauld,” Regulus cut in, sharp and certain like he’d been planning it all along. “My house. Black Manor still has the ancient wards, ones even the Dark Lord won’t question. No one enters without my blood’s permission. Not even him. And if we need to go deeper—" his eyes gleamed, dark and conspiratorial, “—we move the meetings to another house and bury it under a Fidelius Charm.”
James sucked in a breath, his pulse pounding.
"Grimmauld…" he whispered. The thought of that place made his skin crawl, but the old manor could work. It had to.
Regulus’ mouth twitched, almost a grim smile.
"We gather there. We rebuild in secret while Voldemort thinks he’s won. And when the time is right—" he tilted his head, his voice dropping to a blade’s whisper, "—we gut him from the inside."
A chill slid down James’ spine.
"Then we start now," he rasped. "We waste no more time."
Regulus nodded once, briskly.
"Agreed. But first…" His gaze flicked back toward the great doors behind them, where the Death Eaters’ laughter still echoed faintly like distant thunder.
"First, we make sure everyone gets to their new homes alive." His lip curled in distaste. "Because we both know that survival is the only currency we have left right now."
He closed his eyes, his breath steadying with deliberate force.
"Survive first. Then fight."
Regulus’ hand found his and, firm and fierce.
"Survive. Then burn them all."
The world twisted sharp and cold around them as they Apparated. Their boots struck solid ground with a dull thud against black stone, and Regulus was breathing again. The air here was different. Thick, weighty, clinging to the skin like something oily. It smelled of old dust and older magic, like something buried too long and now unearthed.
Grimmauld Place.
The house rose before them like something summoned — a structure that didn’t want to be seen, even when it stood right in front of you. Tall and narrow, wedged tightly between its neighbors like it was hiding in plain sight. Its façade was blackened with centuries of soot, its stones dark and pitted, as if time itself had gnawed at them. It didn’t look like the house from his nightmares, but somehow this was worse because this was…tangible.
Real.
The wrought-iron gate gave a soft, keening creak as they passed, though there was no wind. The windows stared back at them like sightless eyes — glass slick with grime, curtains drawn tight. Not shuttered for privacy, but as if they feared what might be looking in… or trying to look out.
The whole house radiated containment. A fortress that had been his prison for years. Every brick, every nail, every gutter and eave was drenched in enchantment — old, tangled spells that pressed down on the skin like too many layers of wool. The magic here was dense, coiled in on itself, ancient and suspicious. A living thing with its own breath and mood.
James shivered as the weight of it settled over him. He couldn’t stop himself from muttering, “Bloody hell…”
“Merlin, I forgot how awful this place was,” Regulus muttered back, his tone dry as dust. His eyes swept up the façade, not with nostalgia, but with the weary disdain of someone who’d been forced to memorize every crack in the stone. Even with Walburga and Orion long gone, may Salazar burn their shrivelled souls, the house still clung to them like rot.
“You can practically taste my darling mother’s disappointment in the mortar,” Regulus’ lips curling with disgust.
He gave a humourless little laugh, low and sharp.
“Home sweet home, isn’t it? Nothing says welcome back quite like the smell of mildew, blood wards, and two centuries of inbreeding.”
James shot him a startled look.
“Welcome to Grimmauld,” he said at last, voice quiet, dripping with sarcasm. “Enjoy your stay. Try not to suffocate.”
The gate slammed shut behind them, though no one touched it.
They climbed the stairs, and the chill inside was immediate. Not the simple cold of stone and neglect — this was a deeper chill, the kind that slid under your skin and settled there like a breath you couldn’t exhale. The air carried a faint smell of damp stone, wax, and smoke from fireplaces long since gone out.
The corridor was long and dim, lined with wood panels darkened by time, their surfaces warped and glistening slightly as though oiled with secrets. A moth-eaten rug stretched the length of the hall, its edges curled, the pattern so faded it was impossible to tell if it had once been flowers or bloodstains.
Regulus glanced at it and tilted his head. He had a vague memory of him falling down the stairs as a boy, splitting his lip and hitting the exact same spot, but it was cloudy. He had many bad memories that were mangled now. Not that he wanted them back anyway.
The portraits watched them pass. Though many frames were scorched or empty, some torn down, others mysteriously faded, the ones that remained seemed to twitch, their inhabitants half-stirred by their presence. One old matriarch blinked sleepily before turning her nose up in disdain, muttering something beneath her breath that was too slurred to catch.
Regulus moved like a shadow along the floor, his boots nearly soundless on the warped wood.
“Before we reach the top of the stairs, I should warn you that—”
“BLOOD TRAITOR!” a shrill voice screeched so loudly it rattled the panels. James nearly leapt out of his skin, spinning toward the sound. “STAINING THE CARPET WITH YOUR FILTH! POLLUTING MY HOUSE WITH YOUR STENCH!”
“What the fuck is that?”
“That is my darling mother,” Regulus sighed, rubbing at his temple, “or at least, the charming fragment of her soul she decided to glue to the wall after her unfortunate demise.”
The portrait of Walburga Black was a monstrous thing: her painted figure towering in her frame, black robes billowing as though she commanded a constant storm. Her mouth twisted as she hurled curses that sounded like they belonged in medieval hexbooks. James was fairly certain one of them had promised his bollocks would fall off.
“She’s… she’s permanently here?” James asked, wide-eyed. “You mean she just shouts forever?”
“Unfortunately,” Regulus deadpanned. He began climbing the stairs again with the air of someone enduring a particularly boring migraine. “I imagine she’ll be shrieking ‘blood traitor’ every time she’ll see one of us. You’d better get used to it.”
Walburga bellowed again, her voice rattling in James’ teeth: “DEFILER! HALF-BLOOD-LOVING SWINE! MAY YOUR LINE WITHER AND ROT!”
“Merlin’s beard,” James muttered, half laughing, half horrified.
“Did you ever—did you ever try to take it down? Burn it? Hex it? Anything?”
Regulus actually huffed a laugh, though his expression remained grim.
“It’s enchanted to sit there forever. Trust me, Sirius tried everything from blasting curses to simply throwing Dungbombs at her. None of it worked.” His lips twitched, just briefly. “Once he drew a moustache on her, though. A very thick, very elegant handlebar moustache. It lasted three weeks before the magic burned it off. Quite the sight.”
James barked a laugh before clapping a hand over his mouth, trying not to disturb the banshee-wailing even more.
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not,” Regulus laughed, “Kreacher tried to wash it away for three nights in a row.”
Behind them, Walburga’s portrait swelled in outrage, her voice rising to a fever pitch: “I HEAR YOU, VERMIN! INSOLENT WRETCHES! I WILL CURSE YOUR SOULS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE ABYSS!”
“I can see where you got your people skills from,” James leaned closer and whispered.
Regulus rolled his eyes so hard James half-expected him to sprain something.
“Shut up and keep walking. If you don’t look directly at her, she’ll tire herself out faster.”
“She’s screaming like a banshee, love, how am I supposed to not look at her—”
“Practice,” Regulus muttered, striding up the stairs with an almost regal indifference. “Come, I’ll show you the room.”
“Are we sleeping together then?” James matched his stride.
Regulus didn’t miss a beat. For all his brilliance, James still manages to ask questions that leave Regulus baffled.
“No. You are sleeping on Kreacher’s cot, and if I am feeling particularly generous, I may provide you a napkin to keep yourself warm.”
“Have I ever told you that your sense of humour is disturbingly similar to Padfoot’s? It’s worrying sometimes. And that’s not where the similarities stop. Even the way you grab things is similar. You both raise your pinkie a little. Very primly.”
“I don’t know how I should feel about you comparing me to my brother, given the circumstances.” Regulus arched an elegant brow at him.
“What circumstances?” James asked confused, the words coming out bluntly as James nearly tripped over a moth-eaten rug.
“Our relationship?” Regulus asked.
“What does that have to do with Sirius?” James pressed, trying to keep up.
Regulus stopped dead in the middle of the landing and looked at James, utterly scandalized.
“James, did you and Sirius—” His whole body gave an involuntary shudder as though he’d just pictured something vile. “—Merlin, no, don’t even answer, I regret speaking.”
James stopped too, blinking owlishly at him, as if trying to solve an equation that didn’t make sense. Then the implication hit him, and he recoiled like he’d been hexed. His face flushed scarlet.
“WHAT? No! What the fuck? He’s like a brother to me!” He groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “Why would you even think—ugh, I can’t stop picturing it now. Thanks, Reg.”
Regulus smirked faintly, enjoying his discomfort far too much.
“So you do know what his dick looks like. Gross, James.”
“We shared the same dorm for seven years, oh my God!” James’ eyes went wide.
“You’re staying with Kreacher,” Regulus said primly, turning on his heel and continuing down the corridor as if the conversation had never happened. “I shall provide you with a pillowcase to cover your bits.”
James barked a laugh despite himself.
“Bits? Did you just say bits? I feel like I have to remind you that my dick—”
“DEVIANTS!” Walburga screeched from her portrait, cutting James off with such violent venom the glass panes rattled in their frames.
James nearly tripped over his own boots. “Bloody hell! She’s still listening?!”
“She always listens,” Regulus muttered, not even breaking stride. His tone was so dry it could’ve sucked the damp out of the walls.
James tilted his head toward the portrait, calling up the stairs, “Oi, for the record, Mrs. Black, I never shagged Sirius! Not that it’s any of your—”
“FILTH! PERVERSIONS!”
“Right,” James winced, waving a hand as if to push her words out of the air. “Good talk, thank you.”
“Do not engage,” Regulus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’ll only encourage her.”
“That means we can’t shag either?” James tilted his head, pondering the situation at hand with faux seriousness.
Regulus almost tripped on the rug. He whipped his head at him, throwing him a scandalized glare.
“What does that have to do with the bloody painting?”
“Uhm?” James blinked innocently. “Everything?”
Regulus stared at him, utterly horrified, like James had just suggested they should shag directly in front of the painting.
“She rattled the bloody windows just because we happened to walk the stairs. Imagine if we—” he wiggled his brows meaningfully.
Regulus made a strangled noise.
“Ugh, I will put a tapestry or something over it.”
“So,” James grinned, slow and wicked, “we are going to share the room.”
“Please shut up before I actually do make you sleep in Kreacher’s cupboard.”
“Kinky,” James said under his breath, grinning like a devil. "I think you'll bend rather nicely over the—"
“PERVERTS! SICKENING PERVERTS IN MY HOUSE!” Walburga’s portrait shrieked so loudly that dust fell from the ceiling.
James nearly doubled over laughing. “See? Even she knows!”
Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I will smother you in your sleep.”
“As long as you promise to climb on top first.”
“Merlin’s balls, James—”
“Which you are welcome to hold anytime,” James cut in smoothly.
Regulus gaped at him, colour creeping up his pale cheeks despite his best effort.
“Do you ever think before speaking?”
“Not when you’re around,” James admitted, leaning closer, his voice dropping into something low and rough. “You short-circuit my brain. Can’t be held responsible.”
Regulus sputtered, tugging his cloak tighter around himself as if the extra fabric might shield him from James' audacity.
“You are insufferable.”
James smirked, eyes gleaming.
“And you, love, are blushing. Which means I’m winning.”
Regulus glared daggers at him, but his ears burned red, betraying him completely.
“PERVERTS!” Walburga shrieked again, louder, more hysterical. “FILTHY PERVERTS!”
James turned to the portrait and bowed theatrically.
“Why thank you, Mother Black. At least someone appreciates my talents.”
Regulus muttered something about Avada being wasted on the wrong person, but James only laughed, tossing him a wink that made Regulus’ knees feel treacherously weak.
Upstairs, the corridor was narrower. The walls pressed closer, heavy with more portraits and faded family crests — each one dulled with time, their colours leached but their symbols unmistakable. Lions rampant. Serpents coiled. The Black crest over and over again, as though to insist that the house itself was its own sovereign country.
“The bed in my room is too small,” Regulus said curtly as they passed the first door on the right. He didn’t slow his pace, didn’t even glance at it. His voice had gone clipped, businesslike, as though dismissing his childhood room would keep the memories from spilling out of it.
“Mm,” James hummed thoughtfully, trailing a step behind him. “Too small for sleeping, sure. But for… other activities—”
Regulus spun his head so fast James thought he might hex him on the spot. “Don’t.”
James grinned innocently, holding his palms up.
“What? I’m just saying, sometimes the smaller the bed, the better. Forces you to get creative with angles.”
“Potter,” Regulus snapped.
They moved on, and Regulus pointed with a curt nod toward the second room, the brass nameplate still scorched from where Sirius had once tried to burn it away.
“It would be awkward to use Sirius’."
James waggled his brows.
“Oh, I don’t know. I think your dear brother would be honoured to have his room host the grand union of Gryffindor stamina and Slytherin flexibility.”
Regulus let out a strangled noise that might’ve been a growl.
“You are disgusting.”
“Thank you,” James said smoothly. “Though I prefer innovative.”
Regulus quickened his pace, determined to put distance between himself and Potter’s grin before he did something regrettable, like smile back. He stopped only when he reached a set of tall, heavy doors at the end of the hall. Their hinges groaned like they hadn’t been touched in decades.
“The guest room will do.”
James leaned casually against the opposite wall, smirk positively sinful. “Pity. Guest beds are usually bigger. Less chance of ending up wrapped around each other.”
Regulus froze, fingers tightening around the cold brass handle. He turned his head just enough to glare.
“One more word, Potter, and you’ll be the guest in the cellar.”
“Cozy,” James said without missing a beat. “Small space. Dark. Excellent acoustics. I like where this is going.”
Regulus shut his eyes, inhaled through his nose, and muttered something very dark under his breath in French. James, of course, only grinned wider. He pushed the doors open, and the air inside seemed heavier still, colder.
The chamber was large, but the size did nothing to make it feel inviting. Dark panelled walls swallowed what little light trickled through the curtains, and the tall windows were smothered by heavy velvet drapes, so thick with dust that they barely moved. A grand four-poster bed dominated the centre, its carved posts clawed and twisted into grotesque shapes that looked more like talons than ornament. The canopy above hung with drapes of deep green, threadbare at the edges but still oppressive in their weight, as though meant not to comfort a sleeper but to cage them.
A massive wardrobe stood against one wall, its mirror so tarnished it reflected only vague, warped shapes. The carpet underfoot was faded to an indistinct brown, threadbare in places, the pattern long lost under stains and years of neglect. The faint smell of mildew clung to everything.
“Charming,” James muttered, peering around with a grimace. “Do you happen to have my wand?”
“Already eager to kill me?” Regulus looked at him, arching a brow.
“Nah,” he gave him a lopsided grin, “I happen to be too smitten with you, love. I wanted to make this room more…cosy. Since we’re going to stay here, I want this room to feel like home.”
Regulus’ eyes softened, his lips curving just slightly.
“Home is where you are, Jamie. I don’t really give a shit about the room as long as you’re in here.”
James’ chest gave a tight little stutter, and this time he didn’t try to cover it with words or restless movements. Instead, he stepped forward and pulled Regulus into his arms without hesitation, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And it really was.
Regulus no longer stiffened at his touch, and almost immediately, he let himself fold into it. He tucked his head into the crook of James’ neck, breathing in the familiar scent of him. His fingers curled lightly against James’ shirt, not clinging, not desperate, just holding. He closed his eyes, and for the first time in longer than he could remember, the house around them, the Mark under his skin, the endless games of survival and pretence, none of them mattered. Here, in this stolen pocket of quiet it was just this.
Just him.
And the dangerous thought slid unbidden through his mind.
I could stay here forever. If I keep my eyes shut, if I ignore the world clawing at the door, maybe forever could last.
James’ hand pressed gently against the back of his head, as if he knew exactly what Regulus needed, and held him closer.
“Do you want to talk about it?” James murmured into his hair.
Regulus exhaled slowly, the sound weary, fraying at the edges.
“Will you resent me if I say no?”
“Never,” James answered immediately, with a fierce certainty that made Regulus’ throat tighten. He pulled him closer for a heartbeat, then eased back just enough to search his face, his voice soft but unrelenting.
“But I don’t want you to keep bottling it, love. I know you. I can see how it’s eating you alive. Every joke, every barb, it’s just another wall you’re putting up. And being here,” his eyes flicked toward the oppressive walls of Grimmauld, the house pressing in around them, “this place isn’t helping. It’s making the weight heavier. I just want you to share it with me, even a piece of it. Please.”
Regulus tucked his face into James’ shoulder, voice breaking against the fabric of his shirt. “What if you would hate me?” His fingers tightened in James’ sleeve, clinging despite himself. “What if I’m already becoming one of them?”
James went still. His breath caught in his throat like it had snagged on glass. Slowly, carefully, he placed his hands on Regulus’ shoulders and pressed until Regulus was forced to lift his head. His green eyes resisted, reluctant, but James didn’t let him look away. He cupped his cheek in one steady hand, his thumb brushing against skin that felt too cold.
“Remember what you told me when I killed Mulciber? That it doesn’t matter?”
Regulus’ lips parted, his voice trembling.
“It’s not the same, James. This is—” He glanced down at his forearm, his expression twisting.
But James didn’t let him finish.
“You are not one of them,” he said, firm enough that it almost shook the air between them. “Never were. Never will be.” His voice cracked on the last word, but he pressed on anyway.
“You’re still the boy who saved that Mooncalf. You’re the one who risked everything sneaking into Hogwarts just to smuggle food and potions out for people who had nothing. The one who helped Moony every full moon. You’re my Regulus—the one I fell so stupidly, irrevocably, endlessly in love with.”
His hand slid down, resting against the sleeve where the Dark Mark burned beneath. Regulus flinched like he’d been struck, but James held firm, his palm searing with conviction.
“This—” his voice dropped, trembling with both rage and tenderness, “—this scar they carved into you? It means nothing. Not compared to you. Not compared to who you are.”
Slowly, deliberately, James tugged Regulus’ sleeve higher. Regulus’ breath caught, panic flashing across his features, but James was gentle, reverent, as though he was unwrapping something fragile. When the Mark lay bare between them, stark and ugly against pale skin, James didn’t recoil. He didn’t flinch. He lifted Regulus’ hand instead, his own trembling around it, and pressed his lips firmly to the Mark.
It wasn’t a fleeting kiss. It lingered, deep and steady, his mouth against the ink as though he could burn away its power with his love alone.
When James finally pulled back, his voice was hoarse.
“This is just skin. It can’t taint you. It can’t touch what’s real. It can’t reach the heart I know, or the soul I love.
Regulus’ lips trembled, but no sound came. His walls, the sarcasm, the armour—it all felt paper-thin under the weight of James’ words. He shut his eyes, leaning into his touch like he was starved for it, like he wanted to believe him but couldn’t quite let himself.
His eyes fluttered shut, and he leaned into James’ touch like a man starved, like he wanted desperately to believe him but had never let himself. His hand, branded and trembling, curled around James’ wrist, clinging as though it were the only thing tethering him to the world.
The room was dark when James woke up. He didn’t even remember when they drifted off, only that Regulus had finally let himself collapse against him, his breathing even, his body heavy with exhaustion.
Sleepy and still half dreaming, James reached out instinctively, searching for the familiar warmth that had been a constant at his side now. He just needed to curl his arm around Regulud and tug him close, then go back to sleep.
His hand brushed only cool, untouched sheets.
For a second, his mind refused to catch up. Then it did, and his heart kicked hard in his chest.
“Reggie?” His voice was low, hoarse with sleep, but laced with sudden dread. He sat upright so fast the mattress squeaked, fumbling blindly for his glasses. His fingers slipped once before finally finding them on the bedside table. He shoved them onto his face, breath shallow, already reaching for his wand.
“Lumos,” he whispered, the tip sparking to life. Blue-white light spilled into the corners of the room, painting shadows across the dark wallpaper. The space was empty.
“Love?” he swung the wand around, scanning the corners. “Reg?”
Nothing.
James’ stomach lurched. Without even bothering to put his pants on, he bolted for the door, light trembling in his hand as he stepped into the corridor. The air out here was colder, thicker. Every portrait on the walls seemed to watch him as he hurried past, his pulse loud in his ears. He half-expected to hear Walburga’s shrieks when he saw that Regulus’ old bedroom door was cracked open.
James froze, bile rising in his throat. Slowly, he pushed the door open wider.
Regulus was kneeling on the floor, hunched over something, his hands dragging uselessly across the wood. His lips moved, a broken murmur spilling out in gasps and fragments.
“I need to make a fire… Evan is freezing…”
The words landed like blows. James’ blood turned to ice.
“Regulus.” His voice cracked on the name, though he tried to steady it. He stepped carefully into the room, lowering his wand. “Love, it’s me. It’s James.”
Regulus didn’t look up. His hands scraped the floor as if trying to pile invisible kindling, mumbling again. “Fire… need to make a fire… he’s so cold…”
James’ chest constricted so tightly he could hardly breathe.
Merlin, he’s not even awake. He’s sleepwalking.
He crouched low, wand still glowing dimly in his hand, and touched Regulus’ arm gently.
“Hey, hey… It’s alright. No one’s cold anymore. You don’t need to make a fire.”
For a second, Regulus flinched under his touch, his body taut, ready to bolt. James swallowed his own panic and softened his voice, coaxing him as one would a wounded animal.
“It’s me, Reggie. It’s James. You’re safe. Come back to bed with me, yeah?”
Slowly, painfully, Regulus’ mumbling tapered off. His lashes fluttered, but he didn’t fully wake. His body sagged against James’ hold, pliant and exhausted.
James slipped his arms around him, gathering him up with more care than strength, and hauled them both to their feet. He could feel how cold Regulus was, every muscle trembling faintly. His body was still in shock, still replaying horrors his mind wouldn’t let him voice.
As James steadied him, Regulus’ lips kept moving, barely audible.
“Blanket… he needs a blanket… Honeydukes is too cold at night… ceilings too high… can’t keep the heat in…” His voice cracked into something close to a whimper. “And food… need to find food for him… anything, just something he’ll eat… he won’t last otherwise.”
James’ throat closed. He knew exactly what Regulus was talking about. His last raid, just before they were dragged to Hogwarts. Regulus had vanished for a few hours then, slipping through the shadows. He’d returned with a blanket nicked from the infirmary, warmer than anything they had, and pressed it into James’ hands without a word.
Merlin, he was dreaming about that. Reliving it. His body was acting out the memory like he was still there, still carrying the weight of James’ survival on his own shoulders.
Tears stung James’ eyes before he could stop them. His grip tightened, his voice fierce but breaking as he pressed a kiss to the side of Regulus’ head.
“I’ve got you, love. You don’t have to keep watch anymore. I’ll keep you warm. I’ll keep you safe. Always.”
Regulus shifted slightly at his words, tucking instinctively closer, his head falling into the crook of James’ neck as if he belonged there. His breathing steadied, though it still hitched now and then, caught in the grip of ghosts.
James took him back to their bedroom, and by the time he settled Regulus back into the bed, pulling the covers over him, his own eyes were burning hot. He climbed in after him, dragging him flush against his chest, chest to back, holding him as though his arms alone could keep the nightmares out.
He blinked hard against the sting, but it was useless. Silent tears slipped free, hidden in the dark tangle of Regulus’ hair. Because even now, even in his sleep, Regulus was still trying to save him.
And James swore, silently and fiercely, that this time, it would be him doing the saving. That he would be the one to drag Regulus out of the dark.
Chapter 34: Unexpected guests
Summary:
I see that y'all loved the flirting and the teasing (you naughty), and you're in luck because this chapter has even more
ALSO, there is no Jegulus heavy angst here (what a shocker, I know)
Wait, I think there might be a tiny little dose of angst at the end, but it depends on whether you guys see that as angst or not
Chapter Text
Regulus was warm when he woke up. Warm and comfortable. He had almost forgotten how it felt to sink into a proper bed without sharp springs pressing into his ribs, or without the draft of stone floors biting at his skin. Here, the air was still heavy with the smell of old wood and dust, but the warmth was real.
His arm still ached, a dull throb beneath the Mark that never truly quieted all this time. Regulus had resigned himself to the knowledge that the ache would never leave him, not until the monster who burned it into his skin was gone for good. But here, in this moment, it was almost muted, as though James’ body beside him had stolen some of its sting.
James was still asleep. His mouth was parted slightly, breath slow and even, his curls messy and damp where they had stuck to his temple in the night. One arm was sprawled across Regulus’ waist, heavy and grounding, pinning him in place.
Regulus’ eyes traced the line of his face. The strong cut of his jaw, softened now in sleep, and the faint shadow of stubble that dusted his chin. The cut over his brow had faded into the barest mark, but it still bothered Regulus, still pulled at him with the insistence of something that didn’t belong. James’ face was too perfect to be scarred, too achingly alive to be marked by violence. He made a mental note to do something about it today, smooth it away with a salve or a charm until it was nothing but memory.
His gaze drifted lower, to the planes of his body, hidden beneath the sheets. His chest rose and fell in an easy rhythm, steady as a heartbeat, broad and strong. The muscles there weren’t carved by vanity, but by years of Quidditch, of fighting, of carrying the weight of others without complaint. His shoulders were wide, powerful, the kind of shoulders that could bear the whole damn world if asked. His arms, Merlin, his arms, were solid and toned, corded with lean strength, and even in sleep they held Regulus with a kind of fierce possessiveness.
Regulus’ eyes drifted lower to his waist, slim and graceful, tapering into hips that curved just so beneath the sheets… Regulus swallowed, feeling his cheeks warming. He was blushing like a schoolboy, for fucks sake. It was almost pathetic.
But James was too bloody beautiful, and not in the polished, aristocratic way Regulus had been taught to admire, but in a way that was entirely his own: raw, alive, and radiant.
It was unbearable sometimes, how much he loved him.
Regulus tucked his head a little closer to James’ shoulder, breathing him in. He smelled faintly of soap and parchment, and warmth. A smell that was home, though Regulus would never dare to admit it to someone else besides James. He closed his eyes again, letting himself pretend, just for a moment, that this could last forever.
That mornings like this would be their future. That one day, there would be no more aching in his arm, no more shadows whispering his name, no more fear. Just a bed, this warmth, and this man who was everything he never thought he could have.
His hand hovered, barely brushing across the sheets, before he let himself graze his fingertips lightly down James’ chest. The warmth of his skin was intoxicating. The soft rise and fall of his breathing was hypnotic. He trailed from the hollow of his collarbone down to the curve of his ribs, memorizing every angle, every texture, as though trying to etch it into himself forever. It didn’t matter that he already knew his body like the back of his hand. Regulus was addicted to him.
James shifted slightly, murmuring something incoherent in his sleep, and Regulus smiled. A few strands of his hair slipped loose, falling against James’ cheek, then his nose.
“You’re tickling my nose, love.” James scrunched his face, blinking blearily. His lashes fluttered as he rubbed his nose against Regulus’ hair, a sleepy grin tugging at his lips. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he murmured, voice husky from the sleep.
Regulus tried to draw back, but James’ arm tightened at once around his waist, pulling him closer. His eyes, when they finally opened, were molten in the dim light, warm, golden-brown. The kind of eyes that could see straight through any mask.
James’ hand slid slowly down Regulus’ arm, pausing when his fingers reached the inside of his forearm.
Regulus froze, watching James closely.
His thumb skimmed the serpent, the skull, the pulsing brand that still ached even now. When James looked back up at him, the grin was gone. His expression was bare, stripped of its usual playfulness. His gaze held nothing but devotion, fierce and unshakable.
“You’re mine, Regulus,” he whispered. “Not his. Not theirs. Mine.”
The words shattered him.
James leaned in, catching his mouth with a kiss that was slow, consuming, meant to brand him deeper than any curse could. Regulus clutched at him, fingers digging into his shoulders, pulling him closer, closer, as if he could crawl inside James’ skin and vanish there.
The kiss deepened, turned hungry, but never lost its tenderness. James rolled them gently, carefully, his body pressing Regulus down into the mattress. The sheets tangled around them, warmth wrapping them in a cocoon of safety that neither had felt in far too long. James’ hands were everywhere—at his waist, his chest, his throat—exploring like each touch was a promise, like each caress was proof that Regulus was his.
Regulus’ breath hitched as James pulled back just enough to look at him.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” James whispered, voice breaking.
Something inside Regulus cracked wide open. He had been told he was handsome before, but never like this. Always as a performance, a weapon. Handsome in the way the world demanded a Black ought to be: composed, untouchable, cold. He had worn that mask like armor, and the compliments had slid off it like rain on stone.
But James was looking at him differently. Not as a portrait or an heir or a possession, but as though every breath Regulus took was a wonder, every inch of him something rare and unrepeatable.
“James,” he whispered, and it sounded almost like a prayer.
James leaned in, closing the distance as if drawn by gravity itself, his thumb brushing over Regulus’ cheekbone with unbearable tenderness. The kiss that followed was not urgent, not rushed. It was slow, lingering, full of intent—like James was trying to pour entire volumes of unspoken love into that single touch of lips.
Regulus gasped softly against him, his body betraying how desperately he wanted this, how little he had allowed himself to imagine it could be real. The sound only made James kiss him deeper, not hungrily but reverently.
Every movement was unhurried, measured. James’ hands mapped him carefully, the warmth of his palms spreading across his skin as if to remind him he was here, alive, cherished. Regulus felt himself unraveling, thread by thread, under that gentleness. He had expected passion to be sharp and consuming, like fire licking at dry kindling. Instead it came like the tide: steady, unstoppable, seeping into all the cracks he had spent years trying to hide.
Their bodies pressed together, and Regulus clung to James, afraid that if he let go for even a moment, the world would remember it wasn’t meant to grant him this kind of joy.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” Regulus murmured against his mouth, half a confession, half a surrender.
“I know,” James whispered back, his voice hoarse, lips brushing the words directly into Regulus’s skin. “And I’ll never use it to hurt you.”
That was what undid him. Not the kiss, not the closeness, not even the overwhelming devotion he saw in James’ eyes. It was the promise, unasked for, but freely given, that he would not be treated as a tool, or a trophy, or something fragile only to be displayed. James’ vow was quieter, but more powerful than any oath Regulus had ever been bound to.
They moved together as if they had infinite time. Every kiss was another vow, every soft graze of fingertips another way of saying I love you, I love you, I love you. James kissed the corner of his mouth, the slope of his jaw, the fragile skin of his throat, and each time Regulus shivered, overwhelmed not by lust but by the unbearable weight of being wanted with such gentleness.
James breathed him in like he was the rarest of things, like this moment was a miracle that had to be savored.
When he buried his face against James’ shoulder, trembling, James only held him closer, whispering his name as if that alone could anchor him back to earth. Regulus let himself be cradled, let the tenderness soak into him until he was dizzy with it, until he could no longer tell where his fear ended and James’ love began.
He clung to him until the end, overwhelmed, undone, remade by the gentleness of it all. By how careful James was, as though he wasn’t something broken at all, but something holy and worth worshipping.
“What?” Regulus frowned at James as he strutted back into the room, adjusting his cufflinks like some decadent lord of misrule.
“What?” James blinked innocently, though his absolutely devilish grin betrayed him. He was still sprawled utterly and ungodly naked in the middle of the bed, limbs splayed as though he owned the mattress, and the room, and Regulus himself.
He was not wrong about the last part, though.
“You look…hot,” James admitted, his gaze shamelessly raking over Regulus. “Too many clothes for my taste, but hot.”
“And you,” Regulus countered with a raised brow, “are wearing way too few.”
“I am waiting for the promised pillowcase” James shot back, a wicked glimmer in his eyes.
Regulus huffed, a sound that turned into a laugh when James wiggled his hips at him suggestively, utterly unrepentant
“Salazar’s bollocks, just put something on you.”
“All I have are the rags,” James said with a helpless shrug, though his grin betrayed him. “And your clothes are far too small for me. Unless…” He trailed off, letting his eyes glint with mock innocence. “Unless you’d like me to prove just how tight I can squeeze into them.”
“Don’t you dare,” Regulus warned, though his ears had gone pink.
“Oh, I absolutely dare,” James purred, leaning forward on his elbows. “Imagine it—me in one of your fitted little shirts, sleeves clinging to my biceps, collar straining across my chest. You’d spend the entire day pretending not to stare.”
“I would not,” Regulus said primly, which of course only made James laugh.
Regulus tilted his head, lips pursing into that infuriating little shape James adored—prim, disapproving, and begging to be ruined.
“I think Sirius has some old T-shirts in his wardrobe,” Regulus muttered, already turning away before James could see his faint smile. “I’ll see what I can find. Or you can go and look directly. This house is yours as well. It’s not like you’re confined to this room.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” James murmured, stretching like a satisfied cat before sauntering closer, “if you promise me to have me pinned against the mattress all day. I’d gladly stay in this room forever.”
His tone was so maddeningly casual it made Regulus’ blood heat. He leaned in and nuzzled Regulus’ neck with his nose.
“Merlin,” James whispered, his grin widening when Regulus shivered. “You’re so cute when you’re blushing, love.” His lips ghosted just shy of a kiss.
Regulus inhaled sharply, caught off guard.
“I am not blushing,” he bit out, but his voice betrayed him, low and tight.
James chuckled darkly, nuzzling closer.
“Oh, you are. Right here—” He brushed his lips along the line of Regulus’s jaw. “And here—” A feather-light kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Don’t worry, I think it’s unbearably sexy.”
“Stop talking,” Regulus muttered, but James caught the faint tremor in his voice.
“Make me,” James replied immediately, devilish and unashamed.
Regulus’s hand twitched at his side, half in exasperation, half in surrender. James caught it before he could move away, pressing a kiss into his knuckles with exaggerated reverence.
“You know,” James continued, unbothered by Regulus’ glare, “if you really want me dressed, you’ll have to help me. Buttons are tricky things, and trousers even trickier. You’ll need to guide me through every step.”
His fingers found the top button of Regulus’ shirt and flicked it open, slow and deliberate, like the act itself was some dangerous game he’d been dying to play.
"Or," his lips brushed along the curve of his jawline, kisses feather-light, maddening in their patience. "We can take some of yours off and be even."
Another button. Another kiss. Lower this time, lingering against the pulse hammering at Regulus’s throat.
Regulus’ breath quickened, each exhale sharper than the last.
“James…” he warned, though the sound came out more like a plea.
“Mhm?” James hummed lazily against his throat, planting another kiss, his fingers toying with the next button, rolling it beneath his thumb instead of undoing it as though he had all the time in the world.
Regulus’ hands twitched at his sides, fists curling tight in a rare show of lost composure. His chest rose and fell too quickly, betraying him entirely.
“You’re panting,” James whispered with infuriating delight, his breath hot against the hollow of his throat. He dragged his lips across the delicate skin of Regulus’s collarbone, but didn’t give in to the kiss, didn’t press hard enough to satisfy. “Love… you’re so fucking beautiful when you lose control.”
“James—” Regulus tried again, but James only chuckled, the sound vibrating against his skin.
“You sound like you’re begging already,” James murmured, his mouth trailing upward to nip, feather-light, just beneath Regulus’s ear. His hand finally slid inside the loosened shirt, palm warm and shameless as it spread across his chest. “And I’ve barely even started.”
“Begging?” Regulus snapped, but it was weak, his voice a rasp.
James smirked against his throat, teeth scraping just enough to make Regulus jolt.
“Oh, you will. You always do. Want me to prove it?”
His fingers teased another button loose, then another, working down at a maddeningly slow pace. Every button undone was paired with another kiss, another whisper.
“Here—” James kissed just below his throat, lips barely brushing the surface. “And here—” A kiss against his sternum, hot and fleeting. “I could make you tremble without even touching you properly. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Regulus made a strangled noise that might have been a denial, might have been a plea, and James laughed softly against his skin.
“Look at you,” James murmured, pulling back just far enough to drink him in. “Chest rising like you’ve run a mile. Hands clenched so tight you’ll bruise your own palms. And all I’ve done is kiss you.” He tilted his head, eyes glinting with wicked delight. “Imagine what happens when I actually put my hands on you.”
A moan ripped out of Regulus' mouth, and James’ grin only deepened. He trailed his fingers lightly down Regulus’ ribs, a touch so soft it was almost cruel.
“Say it again. I like it when you sound desperate.”
Regulus glared, but his breath betrayed him, quick and uneven.
“Say it,” James pressed, voice low and filthy now, lips ghosting across his ear. “Or I’ll stop right here. Leave you half-undone, aching, and wondering.”
The threat was unbearable. The tension between them stretched, hot and suffocating, until Regulus swore under his breath, shoving a hand into James’ hair as though to drag him into the kiss he was tormenting him with.
James smirked, letting his lips hover a breath away, just out of reach.
“I could pin you against that wall right now, arms over your head, and kiss you until you can’t breathe.” His teeth caught the edge of Regulus’s earlobe, wickedly gentle. “Or I could drag you down to the floor and have you straddle me, let you grind yourself raw while I sit back and watch.”
Regulus made a strangled sound, half outrage, half want, and James chuckled, savoring it.
“I could keep you on this bed for hours,” he whispered, hand slipping lower across Regulus’ waist, “or press you up against the nearest door and make you beg for more. Merlin, I’d ruin you in every corner of this fucking room.”
“Stop talking,” Regulus snapped, though his voice shook, and James knew it wasn’t a command but a plea.
“Not a chance,” James breathed, lips brushing his temple. “I want you—"
Knock, knock.
Both of them froze.
Regulus stiffened like a wire pulled taut, his unbuttoned shirt hanging loose against his chest. James, on the other hand, looked like a boy who’d been caught nicking sweets, wide-eyed and guilty.
“For Merlin’s sake,” Regulus muttered, snapping his shirt closed with quick, jerky fingers.
The knock came again, sharper this time, reverberating down the long, grim corridor, and inevitably the portrait started screaming again, Walburga’s shrieking ricocheting off the walls.
Regulus closed his eyes, jaw clenched, and forced his voice to remain steady.
“Stay here,” he muttered to James, whose flushed cheeks and tousled curls made it abundantly clear what they had almost been doing.
“I’d rather not,” James said dryly, though he was already scrambling for his discarded trousers.
Regulus ignored him, striding downstairs with an elegance that looked more like stubborn control than calm. His shoes clicked softly against the warped wood, his hand brushing his wand. The wards hummed faintly as he neared the door.
He unlatched the lock and pulled it open with deliberate slowness.
“Missed us?”
Barty Crouch Jr. stood in the doorway with the grin of a boy who’d set fire to the world just because he was bored. He strolled inside without waiting for permission, like Grimmauld Place was his bloody ancestral home.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Regulus hissed, spinning toward the street, scanning with sharp eyes. The wards were intact. No shadows lingered. No one watching. Still, his gut twisted.
Behind Barty came Evan, who looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. His posture sagged with exhaustion, and his eyes had that dull, wary glaze of someone dragged along against his better judgment. Trailing behind them were Mary and Lily, both of whom exchanged wary glances as if already regretting this decision.
Barty flung an arm wide, voice dripping in mock grandeur.
“Heard you’re looking for some better company.”
“Excuse me?” Regulus blinked at him, tone flat, dangerously so.
“Told you this was a bad idea,” Evan muttered darkly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He already looked halfway to a migraine.
Barty only shrugged, unbothered.
“Well, turns out my darling father burned the house down before he left this world. Quite rude of him, really. And now his former estate is currently—what’s the word? Ah yes. A hole in the ground.”
“A…what?” Regulus stared, incredulous. His gaze snapped to Evan, who gave a helpless shrug.
“Bombed, I think?” Evan said wearily. “There’s nothing left except for the foundation.”
Walburga’s portrait screamed louder, spittle flying, her voice like a banshee’s wail: “DEFILERS! MUDDBLOODS! FILTH IN MY HOUSE!”
“Ahh, there she is,” Barty said brightly, clicking his tongue as though she were an old friend. He looked up toward the screaming portrait with exaggerated fondness. “Still cursing the air, still trapped in a frame. Almost forgot how depressing this hellhole was. No wonder you turned out to be such a gloomy little piece of shit, Reg.”
“Really?” Regulus’ brow arched with the kind of deadly calm that suggested he was one syllable away from slicing his throat. “You’re standing in my house, asking for my help, and still insulting me?”
“Wouldn’t be Barty if he didn’t do that,” Evan sighed, dragging a weary hand down his face. He looked like he wanted to lie down on the floor and never get back up.
“See?” Barty grinned wolfishly. “He gets it. You should know too by now, darling. Honestly, keep up.” He glanced around theatrically, eyes flashing with mischief. “Where’s the little cub?”
“Don’t call him that,” Regulus snapped, the sharpness in his voice like a crack of thunder.
Barty cocked his head, grin widening.
“Touchy, aren’t we? What, did the pup nip your heels and you’ve gone all protective now?”
“Barty.” Evan’s voice cut low, warning. He placed a hand on Barty’s shoulder, squeezing it hard, but Barty only laughed, shaking him off.
“What? I’m curious. The boy’s got bite. I like that.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes, and Barty cackled, head thrown back, the sound bouncing off the walls.
“Merlin’s balls, Reggie, you’re fun when you’re furious. Almost makes me want to keep poking just to see how far I can push you.”
“I’m not in the mood,” Regulus hissed.
Barty pouted dramatically, slumping against the wall as though the weight of the world had fallen upon him.
“Fine. Killjoy.” His grin returned a second later. “But admit it—you’d miss me if I stopped.”
Regulus pressed his fingers to his temple, muttering darkly under his breath.
“I’m already tired of your shit.”
And because the Universe had really shitty timing, James entered the room, hair still a mess, wearing nothing but an old black T-shirt that clung to his chest and some borrowed trousers. He looked very much like someone dragged unwillingly into the spotlight. His eyes flickered instantly—first to Lily, then to Mary, then back to Regulus.
“Ah, the man of the hour! Long time no see!” Barty beamed, “So, where do we put our things?” he clapped his hands together, grinning wider.
“Your…what?” James head snapped to Regulus who looked like all he wanted was the ground to open and swallow him.
“I…you… you invited them?” James stuttered, blinking in confusion.
“I most certainly did not,” Regulus said icily, glaring at Barty as though daggers might sprout from his eyes at any second.
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Barty drawled, wandering further into the hall like he owned the bloody place. “Technically, we’re all homeless now. Tragic, really. Evan’s manor—poof. My manor—also poof. Unless you’d prefer to move in with the Lestranges? Bet Rodolphus would roll out the welcome mat for the girls.” He winked at literally no one.
“That’s not funny,” Mary cut in sharply, her voice slicing through his theatrics. She had her arms crossed, shoulders squared, every inch the Gryffindor standing her ground.
“Oh, don’t worry, darling,” Barty winked at her. “I laugh at everything. It’s either that or cry myself to sleep.”
Lily’s lips thinned, her eyes flashing as she stepped forward, her voice cool as ice.
“You’re a dick, Crouch.”
Barty gave a mock gasp, clutching at his chest.
“Evans, you wound me! You’d be surprised how many people like me—”
“Not in a way that counts,” Lily snapped back, chin lifting.
Evan groaned and rubbed his temples like a man far too young to be this exhausted.
“Merlin’s balls, can we not start a duel in the hallway?”
Regulus exhaled slowly, fingers drumming against his thigh in a rhythm that screamed self-control.
“Follow me, I’ll show you the rooms.”
James blinked at all of them, then turned slowly back to Regulus. “I’m sorry… they’re moving in?”
“Temporary,” Regulus sighed, the word dragged like it was sour on his tongue.
“We are,” Barty corrected at the same time, far too brightly.
James just pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled.
“Brilliant. Just what this house needed. More chaos.”
“Exactly!” Barty chirped. “See, even Potter gets it. Come on, Reg, you used to be fun.”
“I used to put daggers at your throat,” Regulus replied dryly, never breaking stride. “Do not assume cross-generational amnesia.”
“Ah, threats. A classic,” Barty said, clapping his hands. “Romantic, even. Keep it up.”
Evan stalked a single pace behind Regulus as he led the motley procession down the hallway, voice a weary saw. “Honestly, Barty—behave. When we say temporary, we mean temporary. No arson. No duels. No ‘experiments’ with Walburga’s portrait.”
Barty huffed, throwing his head back.
“You nearly wipe one portrait with a silencing charm, and suddenly you’re branded for life.”
James snorted, unable to resist.
“Nearly? Didn’t it take three hours for the thing to stop shrieking? I could hear it from the greenhouses.”
“That was called progress, Potter,” Barty shot back. “If you had half a functional brain, you’d be applauding my ingenuity.”
“Oh, I am the one with half a brain?” James drawled, cocking a brow. “That's rich coming from the man who once tried to duel Sirius in the library and set half the carpet on fire.”
“That was tactical experimentation.”
“That was idiocy.”
Regulus’ shoulders stiffened, his patience already threadbare. “Both of you, shut up.”
But of course, neither did.
Barty leaned sideways, voice pitched just loud enough to carry.
“You know, Reg, if you wanted someone reckless and charming underfoot, you could’ve picked Lupin. That man is a catch. Instead, you’ve got Potter here who still wears his Gryffindor idiocy on his sleeve like a badge.”
James’s head snapped toward him, his grin sharp and wolfish.
“Funny, because from where I’m standing, you look like a stray dog who followed Regulus home and is now begging for scraps.”
“Oh, touché!” Barty clutched his chest in mock offense. “Scraps, he says. Regulus, tell your boy-toy to stop flirting with me.”
“I am not flirting,” James bit out, color rising on his cheeks.
“You’re certainly paying attention,” Barty sing-songed.
Evan groaned quietly, muttering, “Merlin preserve me.”
Regulus finally stopped dead in the hallway, pivoting on his heel to glare at both of them with such cold precision that even Walburga’s portrait might’ve hesitated.
“If the two of you are quite done measuring your dicks—”
“Hah, I already know that I won,” Barty huffed, eyeing James.
James actually laughed at that, though it sounded halfway to a growl.
“Oh, for—” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I’m living in a nightmare.”
Regulus’ glare sharpened to a blade’s edge.
“Correction: I’m living in a nightmare. Now keep moving before I change my mind about this entire arrangement.”
James exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair.
“I’m going back to the girls. At least they won’t drive me mad in the first five minutes.”
“Oh, running off already?” Barty sing-songed. “Afraid you can’t keep up with the big boys?”
James didn’t even slow his stride—just threw a hand up over his shoulder and flipped him the middle finger.
Barty barked out a laugh, clapping his hands together in triumph. “See, Reg, he does have a sense of humor after all!”
Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose and led them to another wing of Grimmauld, one that was once reserved for Uncle Alphard. He walked with purpose, shoulders stiff, boots near-silent against the warped floorboards.
“How is it?” Evan asked finally, his voice quiet, like he was afraid of the answer.
Regulus didn’t stop. Didn’t even glance at him.
“Hurts like hell,” he muttered, tone clipped. He flexed his left hand once before shoving it back into his pocket, where the fabric could muffle the tremor.
Barty snorted, exaggerating the scrunch of his nose as they passed a portrait of some sour-faced ancestor glaring down at them with open disdain.
“You think the fucker will summon us soon? Or is he too busy playing with his snake to care?”
Regulus’ lips thinned.
“I don’t know.” The words cost him more than he wanted to admit. The possibility had been gnawing at the edges of his mind, but he’d shoved it down, sealed the thought in a box he wasn’t ready to open. Not yet, anyway. “You can have the whole wing,” he continued, ignoring Barty’s jab. “Just… don’t harass the portraits too much. Walburga’s shrieking is enough already.”
“Oh, please,” Barty drawled, grinning as he deliberately waved at the scowling painting. “It adds to the ambiance.”
Evan gave him a sharp look, but Regulus spoke before it could turn into another argument.
“I’ll owl Rabastan and the rest. Schedule a meeting tomorrow, or whenever Illyan feels like showing up. He’s… particular about timing. And company.”
“Particular?” Barty laughed. “The bastard’s mental. He’s like one twitch from losing his shit.”
Regulus exhaled slowly, forcing calm into his voice.
“There’s a chance he won’t even come. Especially now that Remus is there.”
That made Evan falter. His steps slowed.
“Is he safe with him?” he asked carefully, eyes flicking to Regulus. “I mean… Illyan’s not exactly the most stable mind. He’s… unpredictable.”
“Honestly?” Regulus finally turned to look at him, his expression unreadable. “By now, I think they’re already friends. Illyan might be nuts, but Remus can be territorial and sharp as glass when he needs to be. Illyan respects that.”
Evan hummed uneasily, not quite reassured.
“How are the girls?” Regulus asked after a pause.
“Constantly on edge. Especially Macdonald. Threatened to cut my dick off twice in ten minutes. Great conversationalist, really.” Barty scoffed.
“That was your fault,” Evan said dryly, shooting him a sidelong glance.
“You bought them both and told the Death Eaters that the price was fair, given their status. For Merlin’s sake, Barty, what did you expect her to do? Thank you?”
Barty threw up his hands defensively.
“I had to make sure they believed me! Rodolphus was already twitching and ready to pounce the second Voldemort called them forward. One wrong word and it was over. Humour was all I had to make it look convincing. Plus—” he flashed a wolfish grin “—I already apologized. She just likes being a bitch about it.”
“Or maybe she doesn’t like being dehumanized,” Evan said flatly, folding his arms.
“Oh, please, she definitely likes me,” Barty winked.
“If she castrates you, I’m not cleaning it up. You’ll haunt this corridor as a squeaky ghost forever.”
“Wouldn’t be the worst fate,” Barty mused with a smirk, leaning against the wall like he’d just chosen the comfiest place in the house. “Better than dying under Voldemort’s boots. Or under your darling cousin’s.” He looked at Regulus with a spark of challenge. “So, what’s the plan, Reg? We're hiding here like rats, or are you going to tell us when to start gnawing at the snake’s throat?”
Regulus’ stare sharpened, cold as a dagger’s edge.
“Tomorrow,” he said simply. “When everyone’s accounted for. Until then, you stay quiet. You stay contained. And for once in your lives, you don’t make me regret letting you through the door.”
Regulus looked at the dining room and hated everything about it. Mainly because of the nightmare in which he’s been trapped back at the Minister, but also because it was full of bad memories. The dining room smelled faintly of roasted meat and fresh bread, scents that should have been comforting, but to him, they made his stomach curl.
The polished table gleamed in the candlelight. The same table he had sat at since childhood, back when his feet didn’t reach the floor. He could still see it as it was then: endless nights of stiff-backed posture, Orion looming at the head like a carved statue, Walburga’s gaze a knife ready to slash. Food wasn’t a comfort in this house; it was a reward.
His throat tightened. There had been evenings when plates were set in front of him, steaming and rich, and he hadn’t been allowed to touch them. One wrong stance in a duel, one spell not cast fast enough, one hint of hesitation, and Orion’s low voice would cut across the table, sharp as steel.
“If you cannot perform, you cannot eat.”
The shame had burned hotter than hunger ever could. He’d sat there as Walburga and Orion lifted their forks, Sirius sneering at them from across the table before storming out altogether. His stomach had growled so loud he thought it might echo against the walls, but he had sat in silence, hands folded, waiting for the plates to be cleared away untouched.
Then there had been the night of the Lacero. He remembered it too vividly — the sting of the curse, slicing shallow across the skin of his forearm. He’d only asked a question. Only dared to ask why he had to learn that spell, why it mattered more than healing charms, or protective wards, or anything that didn’t leave someone bleeding on the floor. Orion hadn’t raised his voice. He hadn’t needed to. A flick of his wand, a sharp Lacero, and the cut had opened up across Regulus’ arm. Blood had dripped onto the white tablecloth, stark and obscene against the pristine linen. Regulus had gasped, clutching his sleeve, and Orion had just looked at him with cool, detached disdain.
“Questions are for people strong enough to earn answers. You are not.”
Walburga had tutted about the stain spreading over the tablecloth, not about the gash in her son’s arm. Dinner had gone on. His plate had been removed. He’d gone to bed hungry, clutching at a makeshift bandage he’d tied himself. It was after midnight when he had his first meal, Sirius sneaking into his room with a slice of pie.
Now, years later, he sat in the same room, in the same chair, with people who didn’t know those memories hung like cobwebs in the rafters. James slid into the chair beside Regulus without hesitation, his thigh brushing against his under the table.
“You okay, love? You seem…off.”
“Yeah,” Regulus blinked at him, taking his eyes away from the table, “just tired.”
Across from them, Evan sat stiffly next to Barty, who lounged like he owned the place, elbow hooked over his chair back. At the far end, Lily took her seat with her spine straight, Mary settling at her side, her lips pressed tight as if she was already regretting agreeing to come down.
Regulus cleared his throat, forcing his voice to soften a little.
“Is the room…acceptable?”
Lily exchanged a quick glance with Mary before answering carefully.
“It’s fine. More than fine, actually, thank you. A bit dark, but…” She shrugged. “We’ll manage.”
Mary huffed, fiddling with the edge of her sleeve.
“The bed’s not half bad. Better than the floor, at least.”
“If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Honestly, it’s alright, Reggie. Don’t worry,” Lily assured him, a small smile on her face. “We’re not exactly in the habit of being picky.”
The door creaked and Kreacher shuffled in, balancing a silver tray stacked with dishes that steamed in the candlelight. His ears twitched as his bulging eyes scanned the table. He looked better than the last time Regulus had seen him. The wounds have finally closed, his eyes cleared a little, but the limp was still there. A grim reminder of how far he had fallen and how much he had endured.
“When did you bring him back?” James leaned toward Regulus, voice pitched low enough for only him to hear.
Regulus kept his eyes on Kreacher, his tone casual but clipped.
“After Orion died. Asked him to clean the house and… do whatever he wanted. I think he spent his nights obsessively polishing Walburga’s portrait. It’s practically glowing now.”
Kreacher’s attention snagged on Mary and Lily. His lip curled, a snarl rumbling in his throat.
“Kreacher,” Regulus said softly, a single word that was not unkind but carried authority. The elf jerked, eyes flicking to him. “They are my guests and under my protection. You will treat them accordingly.”
The elf’s mouth twisted.
“But Mistress never—”
“She is dead,” Regulus cut in, voice firm as steel. “I am the new master of this house.”
A long, taut silence. Then Kreacher bowed stiffly. Not the bows reserved for his father. Regulus made sure to tell Kreacher to stop doing that, but a bow nonetheless.
“Yes, Master Black. Kreacher will see that the mud—” A pointed look from Regulus froze the word in his throat. He swallowed it down like poison. “That the misses are treated accordingly.”
“Charming,” Mary muttered, but Lily laid a calming hand over hers.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Barty said cheerfully, piling food onto his plate before anyone else had touched a serving spoon. “This place still feels like a crypt.”
Evan smacked his arm lightly.
“Show some manners for once.”
But Barty ignored him. He forked a mouthful into his mouth, chewed twice, and then actually moaned, low and unrestrained, eyes fluttering shut.
“Oh, fuck me. Real food. Hot food.” He leaned back in his chair, grinning like a man starved. “I think I just came.”
“Disgusting,” Mary snapped immediately, glaring at him across the table.
Barty cracked an eye open and smirked.
“You wound me, darling. You’ve no idea how long it’s been since I’ve tasted anything this good. Surely you can forgive me one little… expression of joy.”
Mary rolled her eyes.
“Joy? You sounded like you belong in Knockturn Alley, behind red curtains.”
“That’s because you’ve never eaten boiled squirrel stew for two years straight,” Barty said, unbothered, reaching for more potatoes. “You’d moan too. Trust me.”
“Try me,” Mary shot back, sharp as glass. “In case you forgot, we’ve been living in the same village for years.”
“Merlin,” Evan muttered under his breath, rubbing his temples. “Please don’t encourage him.”
“I’m not encouraging him,” Mary said crisply, cutting into her bread. “I’m making sure he knows he’s vile.”
“Vile and starving,” Barty countered, flashing her a wolfish grin. “Starving men have no manners. You’ll just have to deal with it, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call her that,” Lily snapped suddenly, her green eyes sparking across the table. “She’s not your sweetheart.”
“Ooooh,” Barty drawled, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Who knew you were such a feisty primly—”
“Barty,” Regulus’ voice was a whip-crack, low and sharp, the kind that demanded obedience. His eyes burned across the table, cold as the Black name itself. “Enough.”
Conversation, of course, didn’t stay quiet for long.
Barty had just finished inhaling his third helping of roast potatoes when he leaned back in his chair, dabbing at his mouth with the air of someone who thought he was in polite company.
“So,” he said casually, “would you get mad at me if I tried something with the portrait?”
“As long as the house doesn’t collapse in on us, you can do whatever you please to it.”
Barty’s grin widened, and unfortunately, Regulus knew that smirk too damn well.
He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Ew? Gross, Barty! Even for you. Please don’t.”
“Her loss, I'd say I have a rather handsome di— OW, EVAN” Barty yelped when Evan smacked him behind the head. “Anyway," he rolled his eyes, "are we going to keep this place looking like a funeral parlour forever, or are we redecorating?”
Regulus froze mid-bite.
“…Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Barty waved his fork vaguely at the dark wood, the oppressive curtains, the chandelier that dripped dust. “If we’re all stuck here, I say we brighten the place up. New paint, new hangings, get rid of half these brooding snake-crests. It’s like eating in a mausoleum.”
“This is the Grimmauld Palace,” Regus said stiffly.
“Exactly,” Evan muttered. “That’s the problem.”
Mary perked up immediately.
“I say we paint everything periwinkle. Nice and cheery. Maybe some flowers on the walls—”
“Absolutely not,” Regulus cut in, horrified.
“—and some nice open windows instead of these curtains,” Mary finished sweetly, ignoring him.
“I vote to keep the green. But we can make it light green, not this awful swamp colour. Something softer. Maybe add a few potted plants in the corners.” Lily tapped her chin thoughtfully.
“Plants?” Regulus repeated, scandalised. “They’ll die in a week. This house suffocates anything living.”
“Which is exactly why it needs plants,” Lily said, undeterred.
“If we’re doing anything, I vote for a decent library,” Evan raised his hand. “I bet my wand all the books are on blood purity.”
“Finally, a reasonable suggestion,” Regulus muttered, a little mollified.
But then James cleared his throat, and Regulus instantly regretted ever feeling relief.
“I was thinking…” James said, eyes sparkling with dangerous mischief, “We knock out this wall—” he gestured vaguely at the side of the dining room, “open the room to the backyard where we add a Quidditch pitch.”
Everyone stopped.
Regulus stared at him like he’d grown horns.
“…A what?”
“A Quidditch pitch!” James repeated enthusiastically. “Well, a smaller one. Half-sized. We can take out the fountains and put the hoops. Can you imagine? It would be bloody fantastic.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Oh, come on, love.” James leaned closer, grinning. “Imagine waking up, grabbing a broom, and doing a few laps before breakfast—”
“I’d rather fling myself down the stairs until I finally snap my neck, thank you,” Regulus interrupted coldly.
“I vote yes,” Barty said immediately, grinning.
“Over my dead body,” Regulus hissed.
“And mine,” Evan added. “One Bludger loose with you two and we’d all be dead.”
James slung an arm around Regulus’ shoulders, undeterred.
“Think about it, love. A Quidditch pitch, bright yellow flowers, and a jungle of plants. The new and improved Grimmauld Place. Very welcoming.”
“Please stop talking.” Regulus dropped his fork and buried his face in his hands.
“Don’t worry,” Barty said cheerfully. “We’ll leave your mother’s portrait exactly as it is. She’ll love it.”
He woke up in a village. Or, at least, something that resembled a village, though it was far too dark for him to make sense of his surroundings at first. He blinked, forcing his eyes to adjust.
There were some houses, yes, but they all looked abandoned. Regulus knew he must be dreaming because there was no other explanation for why he would go to sleep in his bed and wake up in the middle of fucking nowhere.
A dog barked in the distance. The sound cracked like a whip through the silence, sharp and desperate, before it was swallowed up by the night. Somewhere closer, a gate creaked on rusted hinges, then slammed shut with a metallic finality that made the hair on Regulus’ arms rise.
Whatever this place was, it felt wrong.
He took a careful step forward, boots crunching on gravel that hadn’t been walked on in years. The clouds thinned above him, the moon straining to push through, and at last pale light spilled across the crooked lane. Regulus stopped, his breath catching.
He’d been right. The houses weren’t destroyed or scorched like those from Hogsmeade. No, these houses were intact. Perfectly preserved, as if untouched by time or war. And yet, they were empty. Windows gaped at him like dark sockets. Doors sagged open on their hinges, offering entrances that nobody had taken in years.
These houses looked as though the villagers had simply risen one day, walked out, and never returned.
Regulus swallowed, and even that sound was loud in his ears.
He looked around and took another step.
The sky cleared further, and then he saw it. The building at the far end of the crooked street, towering over the little houses from its perch atop a hill. Even in the moonlight, it was unmistakable: a manor house, its proud façade skeletal now, windows black and empty, columns casting long fingers of shadow down the slope.
Once, it had been grand, no doubt—a place of power, of money, of someone who expected to be obeyed. A lord, perhaps, or some landed family, hovering over the cottages like a spider at the centre of its web.
Regulus climbed the hill slowly, leaving the houses behind. He could see the iron gate in front of him, sealed for so many years, he believed that people had forgotten that this house even existed in the first place. It was familiar in a way Regulus couldn’t explain. He had never been here. He didn't even know where he was. Yet, somehow, he found this place oddly familiar, like a half-remembered memory that hovered just beyond reach.
He stopped in front of the closed gates and looked at them. There was no name or plaque. No indication of who had lived here. Something hissed at his right, and he snapped his head in the direction of the sound, just in time to see something slithering into the tall grass.
He glanced back at the manor, looming above him, its windows blank and pitiless. Then, as though pulled by something deep in his marrow, he turned and followed the movement into the forest.
Stupid? Yes.
Idiotic? Absolutely.
But he was in a dream, wasn’t it? A dream couldn’t harm him. Not really.
Regulus couldn’t tell how long he walked, but with each step, the sound, which was now more of a hiss, intensified. It seemed to slither in his ears, beneath his skin. The trees thickened around him, their trunks knotted and gnarled, branches curling overhead to blot out what little light the moon offered. The deeper he went, the colder it became, a damp chill sinking into his bones until his teeth ached with it.
He walked until he reached a building? Shack? Whatever that was, it was half-hidden amongst the tangle of trunks. The vines had claimed most of it, threading up its sides, strangling what little shape remained. Tiles had fallen from the roof long ago, leaving holes through which he could see the skeletal beams. The door was warped, hanging crooked in its frame, as if someone had tried to tear it off and given up.
Regulus’ unease grew, rolling through him like a tide. The place looked like it was deliberately hidden. Forgotten on purpose. Like it was meant to remain buried in the woods, away from prying eyes.
And yet, despite the wrongness of everything, he felt pulled toward it. Like there was a string hooked through his ribs, tugging him step by step closer. He wrapped his arms tighter around himself, trying to fight the chill that clung to his skin, but still his feet carried him forward.
He lifted one boot and was ready to place it on the damp earth when the ground rippled.
No, not the earth.
But snakes.
They slithered out from the shadows, from under rotted planks and through holes in the moss-eaten walls, scales gleaming in the weak moonlight. Dozens, then hundreds, winding over one another in a writhing carpet that covered the threshold. Their bodies brushed against his boots, coiling and twisting, tongues flicking the air. The hiss grew deafening, a chorus of sound that seemed to vibrate straight through his bones.
The shack loomed before him, dark and waiting. And behind the wall of serpents, he swore he saw the faint glow of something inside.
Something that wanted him to enter.
He was ready to go, Salazar curse his curiosity, but suddenly there was a deliberate weight winding up his left arm. He looked down, and his blood turned cold in his veins. A thick, black snake had slithered from the writhing mass at his feet and coiled tightly around his forearm. Its scales gleamed wet in the moonlight, cold and slick against his skin, tightening with every shift.
“No,” his voice came out choked. “Get off—”
The serpent’s head lifted, tongue flicking, and looked straight into his eyes, then pierced his skin just below the Mark. The bite was deep, brutal, and it felt like fire was pumped straight into his veins. Regulus cried out, the sound raw and desperate, and staggered back, clawing at the creature with his free hand.
But the snake didn’t let go.
Its jaws clamped harder, fangs digging deeper as though it meant to tear into bone. The pressure sent white-hot agony racing up his arm, his pulse hammering in his ears. He dug his nails into its scaled body, scratching, tearing, yanking, but the serpent only constricted tighter, cutting off the blood flow until his fingers turned numb.
“Let go!” he gasped, frantic now, dragging his nails across his own skin in a frenzy, half trying to peel the creature away, half trying to rip the wound open to release the pain. His breaths came in ragged bursts, chest heaving, as the hiss around him swelled into a roar.
The other snakes writhed at his feet, coiling and thrashing like they fed off his struggle. He dropped to his knees, still clawing at his arm, nails breaking against his own flesh, leaving angry red marks that stung even through the fire of the bite.
And through it all, the serpent’s eyes locked onto his—unblinking, pitiless, as if it knew him.
As if it had been waiting for him.
Chapter 35: The Hollow Nest
Chapter Text
Barty hated this house.
Not because it belonged to one of the most cursed and unhinged families in the history of Magic, though Merlin knew the Blacks had earned their reputation through and through, but because it felt like the house itself despised anyone who dared to breathe inside it. It was more of a mausoleum where memories came to die than a house.
Yet again, that was not entirely uncommon for one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight.
All the pure blood families were deranged to some degree. Except for the Potters and the Weasleys. They were just…too muggle oriented to count. Maybe that was what made them normal at the end of the day. Maybe that was why people envied them.
Honestly, Barty couldn’t care less. In that regard, he was a bit like Sirius —though he despised the thought of it, even in the privacy of his own mind.
Barty had severed his ties with cold precision the moment he realised nothing he did would ever be enough. He’d renounced his family at nearly twelve. Or it was eleven? He couldn't remember well. Maybe it actually happened before his letter came. He always considered himself precocious in that regard.
That, or simply too tired to keep begging for something his father was never going to give anyway. At that age, his mother was already out of the picture.
His father had considered him a disappointment since birth. Barty didn’t know exactly why.
Maybe he screamed too much as a baby, and that’s why.
Maybe he had the wrong laugh, or the wrong face, or the wrong eye colour.
Honestly, who knew with that man?
The last time Barty wasted more than ten minutes thinking about it was when he was eleven and was sitting at the table with his father, proudly announcing that he had been sorted into Slytherin like any other proper pureblood son.
His father hadn’t even looked up from the Daily Prophet. Just muttered something about Ravenclaws being more respectable, grabbed his briefcase, and stepped into the Floo with a swish of his cloak, going straight to the Ministry.
Little Barty had sat at the table for almost one hour, wiping his snot with his sleeve, asking himself why his father kept ignoring him. What he’d done wrong this time.
Now, at nearly twenty-three, he didn’t give a troll shit about it. He’d carved his own way out of the old man's shadow, and if his father still thought him a disappointment, good. It meant Barty had won.
But back to the Grimmauld Place.
He hated it because he’d lived here once, for a single wretched week before seventh year. Long enough to know what this place did to you. Long enough to understand why Sirius had run screaming from its walls.
After just one night, Barty was staring at the ceiling and thought seriously about throwing himself out the window, just to be free of the crushing silence and the sense that the house was swallowing him whole. But he didn’t, mainly because Regulus was sleeping naked beside him and didn’t want to add another traumatic event to his already shitty life.
It was no wonder that Regulus became a shell of a man that year. This bloody house ate you alive from the inside out, gnawing at your spirit until you were nothing more than an empty carcass wandering its corridors.
You didn’t even realise it at first.
That was the trick.
It whispered to you in your sleep, crawled under your skin, leeched the colour from your thoughts until you could hardly remember what laughter sounded like.
You simply woke up one morning, and you were already gone.
Barty's mind was racing while he passed the paintings which, unsurprisingly, were sneering even in their sleep. He bared his teeth right back at one particularly sour-looking ancestor, resisting the urge to hex the canvas for the simple pleasure of watching the pompous bastard sputter.
He passed the library and all the other closed doors that probably held more secrets and cursed objects than the basement of Borgin and Burkes. He was one hundred percent certain that by opening one wrong door, he’d unleash another great evil upon the world. Hell, maybe Voldemort himself had been born in one of those rooms.
The thought both enticed and disgusted Barty.
Merlin, all he wanted was a cigarette and a lungful of air that wasn’t steeped in mildew or misery. But of course, in the Black house, even wanting something so pathetic meant braving its long, haunted corridors.
He rounded another corner when he saw the doors of the old drawing room wide open. A cold shiver ran down his spine. He’d only ever stepped inside that place once, years ago, and it had been more than enough. That room was like a shrine to madness, every inch of it draped in the suffocating weight of Walburga’s expectations and fury. Even Barty, who had seen and done things that should’ve broken him, had walked out of it with a bitter taste in his mouth, certain that something in there had looked back at him.
During their sixth year, the Dark Lord himself had chosen this very drawing room as his stage. No grand throne, no cavernous hall filled with his cloaked followers. Just three boys pressed to the walls, barely grown, hearts hammering in their ribs as Voldemort looked at them.
Barty remembered the way his gaze lingered longest on Regulus. Those red eyes cut past flesh and blood, straight into marrow, tearing open thoughts like brittle parchment. He reached into Regulus with a Legilimency so violent, the boy had stiffened, gone pale, and then… something shifted.
Barty never forgot that night. He never forgot the silence that clung to Regulus afterwards, nor the way he’d sat awake for nights, staring at the ceiling as though listening to a voice no one else could hear. Whatever Voldemort had left behind in him, it had nested.
Now the doors yawned open again, the mouth of a beast waiting to swallow anyone who braved the darkness.
Barty took one step forward, and his boot made a wet sound. He frowned and looked down.
Blood.
Thin, dark streaks of it smeared across the warped wooden floorboards. Fresh. Too fresh.
His stomach twisted, and his hand closed around his wand before he realised he’d drawn it.
“Lumos,” he whispered.
The tip of his wand flared with light, throwing long shadows across the corridor as he followed the blood inside. His pulse pounded against his ribs, as though urging his body to turn back.
And then he saw him.
Regulus was standing in the middle of the drawing room, clawing at his own arm like he meant to tear the skin off. His nails raked again and again at the pale flesh where the Dark Mark was inked, raw desperation contorting his usually composed face. His hair clung in damp strands to his temples, his breathing ragged.
“Reg?” he called carefully, stepping deeper into the room.
If this was one of the house’s illusions, he was going to burn the whole fucking place to the ground.
“Get off!” Regulus’ voice cracked, wild and jagged. “Get off, get off, GET OFF!” He shrieked, clawing harder at his arm. Blood streaked his pale skin, running in rivulets, dripping down his wrist, soaking into the ruined carpet beneath his knees.
Barty’s heart hammered painfully in his chest.
“Hey, hey, stop—stop.” He approached him cautiously, wand still lit, the glow catching the glazed terror in Regulus’ eyes. He recognised that hollow stare instantly. Regulus wasn't even awake.
Merlin, not again.
Not that quiet, dead-eyed walk toward whatever private darkness chose to call him in the night.
The thing is that Barty saw that before. Knew whatever was happening with Regulus intimately because he had sleepwalked half of the seventh year. He used to rise from the bed and walk straight into the common room, then proceed to stare at the Black Lake and mumble something about water and other things only he understood.
Evan had called it trauma—some nonsense about the body working through what the mind couldn’t. Barty hadn’t disagreed, but he hadn’t believed it either. To him, it wasn’t trauma. It was ownership.
So, like clockwork, each night Regulus would rise from the bed, walk to the common room, stand there, and return to bed.
But it didn't stop there.
With time, the whole sleepwalking turned worse, and after a few months, Reggie was roaming the entire castle, usually stopping on the seventh floor, near the Astronomy Tower, and stare at the wall.
Once, Barty found him knee deep into the Black Lake at two in the morning, his lips blue from the cold air, whispering of hands under the surface that wanted him back.
That night, Evan had insisted they lock the dorm door and take his wand the moment his head hit the pillow. Practical, predictable Evan. But Barty…Barty had thought it was like caging a wild thing. Because whatever called to Regulus, whatever dragged him out of bed, it wasn’t going to stop just because they said so.
And now, this cursed fucking house had dug its claws into him, and the whole thing started again.
“Reggie,” he whispered and carefully grabbed his hand, though Regulus thrashed. “Come on, it’s just a dream. Why don’t we wake up, hm? Open your eyes. Come back.”
But Regulus kept whimpering, his voice trembling and begging. Whatever shit he was dreaming, it was bad.
“Shit,” Barty cursed. He’s never been good at this. Evan was the one who always talked him out of the dream. Who walked him back into the dorm and tucked him under the blanket.
Evan was now on the other side of the house, fast asleep, and there was no way in hell Barty would leave Regulus here alone to claw at his hand until it fucking fell.
“Reg, you need to wake up,” he tried again. “You are sleeping. Whatever you’re seeing is not real, but you are hurting yourself.”
Nothing.
The air shifted behind him, soft footsteps entering the room. A quiet gasp.
“Merlin’s sake—what happened?” Lily’s voice, low and urgent. She didn’t wait for an answer, but entered the room and kneeled down at his side, eyes flicking quickly over the blood. “Is he—?”
“Nightmare,” Barty snapped, though his voice cracked with strain. “He’s trapped in it. Won’t wake.”
Lily’s lips pressed tight. She reached forward, her hands firm and sure where his trembled with helpless anger.
“Reggie? It’s Lily.”
Regulus whimpered, trying to break his arm free from Barty’s hold.
“Try holding him,” Lily said, calm but commanding, as she flicked her wand. “Let me try something.”
A wash of silver light poured gently from her wand, spilling over the ragged wounds. The bleeding slowed, the skin knitting together enough to keep him from tearing himself apart. She pressed her free hand over his temple, brushing back damp strands of hair.
“Regulus,” she said again, softer now. “It’s not real. Look—feel. You’re safe. You’re in Grimmauld Place. You’re not alone.”
Something in his shuddering breath hitched. His eyes flickered, like someone struggling to surface from deep water.
“Babe,” Barty added, quieter this time. He leaned in close, the old nickname falling intimate from his lips. “It’s me. Stop fighting, just come back. Please.”
Finally, Regulus’ hands went slack beneath Barty’s grip. His chest heaved once, twice, before his eyelids fluttered. His lashes stuck wet to his cheeks.
“Barty?” he rasped, raw and weak.
“Yeah,” Barty exhaled, his own voice trembling with relief. “Yeah, it’s me.”
“Thank Merlin,” Lily whispered. She flicked her wand again, sealing the last of the torn skin. “We need to get him back to his room.”
Barty nodded curtly, sliding an arm under Regulus’ shoulders and hauling him gently upright. Regulus sagged into him immediately.
“Got you,” Barty muttered, half to himself, half to the boy swaying in his arms. “I’ve got you. Come on.”
Regulus blinked up at him, his pupils still blown, his skin clammy with sweat. His voice was hoarse, wavering like a child waking from a fever.
“What happened?” he whispered, his brow furrowing. “Where… where am I?”
Barty’s stomach dropped hearing that tone. Seeing that lost look.
Fucking hell, it was really happening again.
“You fell asleep on the couch,” Barty lied smoothly as he helped Regulus walk. Lily cut him a sharp look of disbelief, her frown pulling taut.
“Was going out for a smoke and saw you there. Figured you’d want to get back to your boyfriend.”
Regulus shook his head faintly, disoriented.
“No…I…but I was in bed when—”
“Most probably dreamed, Reg. You looked like you’ve been sleeping for a while over there. Maybe you were reading something or simply brooding. You know, your usual.”
“Yeah,” Regulus whispered, still sounding far away. “But why are you carrying me?”
“Because I don’t want you to break your neck. Slippery things, these carpets.”
He pushed open the bedroom door with his foot.
Inside, James was dead asleep, sprawled across the mattress like he’d fought a war with the blankets and lost. His hair stuck up in every possible direction, his face buried in the pillow, completely oblivious to the blood and chaos that had just unfolded in the drawing room.
Barty rolled his eyes skyward. Typical Potter.
“Well, this is where I leave you.” He lowered Regulus carefully to the edge of the bed and, with an awkward pat to his head, added, “Try not to wake up all the paintings next time, alright?”
“Yeah,” Regulus murmured, frowning faintly. His eyes drifted from James’ sleeping form to the door, his expression troubled, as if the shadows of his dream still clung to him.
Barty threw him another smile and closed the door behind him. Lily, who was patiently waiting in the hallway, raised her brow at him, pursing her lips.
“You lied.”
“Of course, I lied, Evans,” Barty scoffed.
“Why?” she pressed. “He hurt himself, Barty. You can’t just tell him he nodded off with a book.”
Barty let out a harsh laugh, but there was no humour in it.
“Because Reg doesn’t know that whatever he’s dreaming bleeds into the real world. And I’m not going to open that can of worms. Not now. Not when he’s barely holding it together in this bloody place and with that on his arm. He remembers fractures, splinters of it, and that’s bad enough.”
Lily’s eyes softened, but only slightly.
“He has a right to know what’s happening to him. Hiding it—”
“Hiding it is what he needs,” Barty cut in, his voice dropping low, dangerous. For a moment, the sharp mask slipped, and the raw desperation beneath it showed. “You don’t get it, Evans. If Regulus starts believing the nightmares are real, if he realises they leave marks—scars—he’ll break. And once he breaks, that’s it. Game over. I am not losing him to something as fucking stupid as dreams. And I am sure as hell neither is Potter.”
Silence hung between them, tense and heavy.
Lily’s jaw worked, her fingers gripping her wand as though it might steady her.
“You can’t keep doing this forever,” she said finally, her voice quieter. “One day, he’ll wake up and he’ll remember everything. And when he realises you’ve been lying to him—”
“Then I’ll deal with it,” Barty snapped. “But until then? He sleeps. He breathes. He lives another fucking day, and we find a way to get him out of this bloody place.”
Regulus knew with absolute certainty that something had happened last night. He had been staring at his arm for the last ten minutes, but saw nothing except the Mark etched into his skin. Yet, the feeling was there. A phantom sting that lingered, hot and sharp, as though venom still spread beneath the surface. He remembered the dream, or fragments of it: the abandoned village with its dead-eyed houses, the looming manor on the hill, the shack that felt alive with malice. And then the bite. That was the last thing burned into his mind. The sensation was so vivid it made his stomach twist.
It reminded him tremendously of the pain he felt when he took the Mark.
“Love?” James’ voice broke through the fog, pulling him back from the endless circling in his head. Regulus blinked, turning slightly to find him standing beside him, warm fingers curling around the back of his neck. James’ thumb brushed against his hairline, rubbing slow, grounding circles.
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure you’re ok? I’ve been calling you three times.”
“Sorry,” Regulus murmured, finally leaning into the touch, letting himself fold against it. “I slept pretty badly last night. I think I’m nervous with this meeting and everything.”
James studied him for a moment longer, concern shadowing his features, before pressing a soft kiss into his hair.
“Everything will be just fine. As long as Barty doesn’t pick a fight with Pads, we should get through it in one piece.”
“Yeah,” Regulus whispered, though the word lacked conviction. His gaze dropped back to his arm before he forced it away again. “Hopefully the wards will hold.”
They stood in silence for a while after that, both staring out of the window at the sky. The world beyond Grimmauld Place stretched in washed-out greys, muted and heavy. It was supposed to be nearly summer.
Once, that meant a London that was warm with golden haze, the air alive with the buzz of bees and the shouts of children darting through narrow streets. But now, there was no warmth, no laughter, no colour. Only cold air that clung to the skin like a damp cloth, and a sky smothered by clouds so thick and dark it felt like they’d been nailed in place.
It wasn’t that the sun was gone. It was there, somewhere above, but hidden, trapped behind a curtain of ash and smoke. A ghost sun, bleeding weak light that could never quite reach the earth. Even the air looked wrong: tinged faintly with a yellow-grey hue, like a permanent bruise on the world.
“Do you remember the sun?” James finally asked, his breath fogging faintly against the glass.
What an odd question. To ask something so ordinary, something that should have been a given. And yet, in this context, in this world choked by grey skies, that question made perfect sense.
“I mean…” his brow creasing as though he too realised how strange the words sounded aloud. “Do you think it is still there? Behind all that?”
Regulus’ throat tightened because, of course, he remembered. He remembered all too well.
The last time he’d seen the sun was the morning before everything had ended. Or begun, depending on how one looked at it. It was right before Voldemort murdered Dumbledore and claimed the Elder Wand. Regulus could still recall the way light had bled through the curtains of his cottage, spilling warm gold across his face. For a fleeting moment, it had almost felt normal, as though he was just another boy with another morning to waste. Evan and Barty were in the village, buying food and supplies.
That was the last time. After that, the warmth never came again, and the world slowly dimmed.
Until James.
Until he had found his own Sun in the most unlikely place. Messy hair, crooked grin, a boy who loved too much, too openly, in a way Regulus had once thought unbearable. He didn’t need the sky to clear anymore, not really. He didn’t need that bloody star when James was beside him, warming his bones with every touch, every kiss, every steady glance that burned brighter than any star.
The thought had once terrified him, because to need someone so much was dangerous. But somewhere along the line, he had stopped caring.
“Yeah,” Regulus murmured, looking up at James. “I remember.”
James’ eyes softened and smiled, then leaned his forehead against Regulus’. Outside, the world remained cold and suffocating.
Lily and Mary were already seated when Regulus and James entered the dining room. They were chatting softly, Lily throwing them a small smile when she saw them. At the other end of the table, Barty leaned over and whispered something in Evan’s ear, earning a snort and an unapologetically smug grin.
James pulled out a chair for Regulus, pressing a small kiss on his cheek before dropping down beside him. The low hum of voices was cut short by the sharp pops of apparition echoing through the house, like invisible doors slamming open. The wards let them through; at least that was a relief.
Regulus spent two hours when they arrived to make sure that only a bunch of people were allowed to Apparate freely in the manor.
A second later, the door swung open, and Cassiopeia swept in as though she owned every inch of the place. Regal as always, her dark green robes shimmered faintly in the candlelight. Trailing behind her was Marlene, who looked healthier. Stronger even. Her cheeks weren’t hollow anymore, her eyes no longer clouded. For the first time in years, she looked like her old self again.
“Marlene!” Mary was up in an instant, rushing to her. Lily followed, smiling so wide it softened every hard edge of her face. The three of them folded into each other, laughing, crying, holding on as though afraid the world might rip them apart again.
“Rabastan will be a little late,” Cassiopeia said without preamble, lowering herself gracefully into the chair across from him. “Your delightful cousin had another one of her tantrums.”
“What now?” Regulus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Apparently, another spoiled batch of potions killed three of her novices. Quite an unfortunate event,” Cassiopeia shook her head, pouring herself a glass of wine. To Regulus’ surprise, she flicked her wand and filled both his and James’ glasses.
“Mmm,” Regulus hummed, “Illyan has been meddling again with her pets?”
“You know him,” she replied smoothly. “He told Bella perhaps she should ‘acquire pupils with brains instead of sheep with wands.’ I believe that was the exact phrasing.”
The wards thrummed again.
A grumble followed by a curse.
“That must be him.”
The door swung open, and in swept Illyan Muldoon like a storm with legs.
“Ah, splendid, I haven’t missed the appetizers,” he announced, tossing his wand onto the table as if it was nothing but a stick. His eyes darted toward Cassiopeia, and his mouth quirked with wicked amusement. “I assume you’ve already regaled them with my latest crime against Lestrange’s sanity?”
“You mean your latest display of criminal incompetence?” she said crisply, her chin lifting a fraction. “You need more tact, Illyan.”
“Oh, I have enough. I just happen to not care,” Illyan replied smoothly, helping himself to the wine. “Has age finally softened the great Cassiopeia Selwyn?”
A hiss escaped her throat before she caught herself, shoulders stiffening like a drawn bowstring. The temperature in the room seemed to drop.
“Careful, Muldoon,” she said icily. “You forget who covered your ass all these years.”
Illyan only smirked, raising his glass in mock salute.
“Oh, I never forget, hence the never-ending supplies of anti-aging potions.”
“You can really be a piece of shit sometimes.”
The door opened again, and another figure stepped in. Remus.
He looked thinner, the shadows under his eyes darker than usual, and his hands fidgeted against his sleeves. Even without the calendar, everyone at the table would have known that the full moon was close. His magic hummed unevenly in the air, wild and restless.
“Moony,” James gasped, pushing up from his chair. He crossed the room in a few long strides and pulled him into a hug so tight Remus nearly stumbled. For a moment, Remus let himself lean into it, eyes shutting as though steadying his world with the familiar warmth of James Potter’s arms.
“How are you?” James took a good look at him.
“Manageable. Illyan prepared me some tonics.”
When his eyes flickered toward Regulus, something softened in his expression. He moved toward him, and before Regulus could even think to brace, Remus wrapped him in a hug. Firm, brief, but so very real.
Regulus froze for a heartbeat, then cautiously let himself return it. There were no words, but something passed between them all the same—a quiet acknowledgment of battles fought, of losses too deep to name, of survival itself.
When Remus finally pulled back, he exhaled, shoulders slumping. Without asking, he slipped into the empty chair beside Regulus, close enough that their elbows nearly brushed.
The wards boomed again, this time louder, like thunder rolling too close. The pop of apparition cracked against the stillness of the house, and even before the door rattled, Remus’ entire body went taut. His back straightened, his nostrils flared, and his head snapped toward the entrance.
Regulus noticed it too, even without heightened senses: the faintest ripple of ozone and smoke in the air, the storm-warning of Sirius Black approaching.
“When I tell you to stay inside, you fucking stay inside, Black!” Rabastan’s growl was clipped and full of controlled fury.
“You don’t tell me jack-shit!” Sirius barked back, his voice sharp, almost manic in its defiance. “I don’t take orders from Death Eaters!”
The sound of boots striking the floor grew louder with each snapped retort, and the dining room door slammed open so hard that it rattled against the wall.
Sirius strutted in, shoulders squared, jaw tight, hair falling in soft waves around his face. His grey eyes flicked once around the room, pausing on the faded wallpaper, the long table, the chandelier that hadn’t been polished in decades. He sneered openly, disgust curling his mouth.
“Merlin, I’d almost forgotten how much I hate this house.”
Behind him, Rabastan Lestrange entered more slowly, his expression thunderous. He was taller and broader, and his presence filled the doorway like a wall of iron. He said nothing at first, only cast a simmering glance at Sirius’ back, as though calculating whether it would be more satisfying to drag him out again by his hair or simply snap his neck where he stood.
“I assume you two don’t get along well.” Regulus looked at them, and Sirius’ head snapped at his brother.
“Don’t get well?” Sirius’ head turned so fast his hair whipped across his face. He jabbed a finger toward Rabastan. “This bastard locked me in his bloody manor like some—some feral dog while he ran around playing Death Eater babysitter!”
Rabastan’s lip curled.
“I should’ve left you chained in the cellar. Would’ve saved us all from your constant fucking noise.”
“Oh, I made noise, did I?” Sirius snarled, his voice pitching sharp with mockery. “Excuse me for ruining your brooding silence, you slab of meat. Must be hard trying to think when your skull’s thicker than the walls of Azkaban.”
Rabastan took a single step closer, looming.
“You’re lucky you’re Regulus’ brother. If it were up to me, I’d have drowned you in your own bathwater.”
“Lucky me, I guess.”
“Merlin's beard,” Regulus muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, while the two of them were growling like restless dogs.
“You should be grateful that I didn’t let your psychotic cousin take you. Speaking of which,” he said, turning his attention to Illyan, “are you fucking insane? Has your brain finally turned to mush from all those potion vapors? You nearly collapsed half of the west wing with that stunt!”
“Collateral damage,” Illyan said with a shrug, as if that settled everything.
“Collater—you’re a piece of shit, you know that?”
“Funny,” Illyan said, not even looking up. “You’re the second one today to tell me that. Maybe you and the hag here are meant to be together.”
Before Rabastan could roar back, Sirius’ voice faltered, his breath catching on a name that came out like a prayer.
“Moony.”
Remus rose slowly from the table, his chair scraping against the stone floor. For a heartbeat, neither of them moved, then Sirius nearly threw himself across the space.
Their collision was messy and desperate. Sirius’ mouth found Remus’ in a kiss that was hard, almost violent, like he was trying to carve himself back into existence through the taste of him. Remus’ hands twisted in Sirius’ hair with a roughness that bordered on painful, pulling him closer, as though furious at the space that had ever existed between them.
“You—” Remus gasped against his lips, voice ragged, breaking. “I missed you so much.”
Sirius crushed the words with another kiss, salt from unshed tears hot on his tongue.
“I know. I know, I’m sorry, I’m so—fuck, Moony—”
“Are you all fucking each other here?” Rabastan cut in, frowning.
Barty barked a laugh so sharp it cracked across the tension, grinning like he was watching the most entertaining theatre of his life.
“And you were afraid that Barty and Sirius would collapse the house?” James leaned towards Regulus, whispering into his ear.
“Merlin save me,” Regulus groaned under his breath before clearing his throat louder. “Can we please start?"
Sirius untangled himself reluctantly from Remus, both of them flushed and mussed, hair sticking up in all directions.
“Are we really needed here?” Remus breathed, his voice hoarse.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Regulus said, inclining his head toward him. “That is why I wanted all of you here. After I finish, you can go and do whatever you please.”
“Come on, Sirius,” Rabastan drawled from across the table, his lips curling in mock amusement. “I’m sure you can resist not shagging your boyfriend for the next hour.”
“Fuck you,” Sirius shot back immediately, eyes narrowing to dangerous slits.
Rabastan grinned, lazy and infuriating, and blew him an exaggerated kiss.
“Tempting, but no thank you. I’m more into tits.”
“Merlin, you’d need an instruction manual just to find them,” Sirius sneered. “Tragic, really—spending all your life swaggering about like a stallion, but everyone knows you’ve got the stamina of a flobberworm. Tell me, how many times have you polished Voldemort’s boots this week, Rab? Or do you prefer getting down on your knees without being asked?”
“Careful, Black,” Rabastan snarled, his composure fraying. “There are lines even your filthy mouth shouldn’t cross.”
“Oh, I crossed them ages ago,” Sirius shot back with a feral grin. “And unlike you, I don’t crawl back begging forgiveness. You lot spent your lives sniffing at his heels like good little hounds. You call me a mutt? At least I chose my master.”
The tension in the room spiked sharply, almost electric. Rabastan’s jaw flexed, fists curling on the table as though the only thing stopping him from lunging was Regulus’ watchful stare.
“Sirius, can you please not?” Regulus sighed, exasperation cracking through. Even Cassiopeia rolled her eyes, muttering something about idiotic men and their pissing contests.
Rabastan leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his broad chest as though he had all the time in the world.
“You know, Black” he said smoothly, checking his nails, “I finally realized why you bark so much. Because if you ever stopped, you’d hear the echo of how bloody empty you are inside.”
Sirius stiffened, jaw working.
“Keep talking, Lestrange, and I’ll be happy to show you just how loud I can be when I tear your fucking throat out.”
Rabastan only chuckled, eyes glinting with mock sympathy.
“Temper, temper. No wonder dear Mommy carved you off the family tree so fast. Even she couldn’t stand your whining. Tell me, did it hurt when she blasted your name off the wall? Or were you too busy wagging your tail for the Potters to notice?”
“You son of a—” Sirius shot up from his chair, but Remus’ hand latched onto his arm, fingers digging in with the strength of someone who knew exactly how to stop him from hurtling across the table. “I’ll gut you like the pig you are!”
“Merlin, listen to yourself,” Rabastan said, unbothered, almost laughing. “Barking, drooling, ready to piss on the floor. Honestly, you should be wearing a collar.”
Sirius escaped his hold and nearly made it across the table before Remus wrapped both arms around him, dragging him back.
“LET ME GO, MOONY!” Sirius roared.
“Not a chance,” Remus gritted, straining with the effort.
Rabastan only laughed low in his throat, like a man savouring fine wine.
“You know what? I should thank you, Black. It’s been years since I’ve had this much fun without lifting a wand. You’re the best entertainment this dreary lot ever provided.”
“For the love of Circe, enough!” Cassiopeia’s voice cracked through the room, sharp and ringing. Her eyes were hard, burning even.
“Can we start this meeting before Voldemort himself decides to summon us? Or shall we wait for you two to take you dicks out and measure them?”
The silence was instant and absolute. Even Sirius froze, mouth still open mid-snarl. Rabastan, of course, only arched a brow, amused, but for once, he said nothing.
“Evan,” Barty whispered, leaning close with a grin that was positively wicked, “I think a woman got me hard for the first time in my—OW, what was that for?” he screeched, rubbing his head.
“Shut the fuck up, Barty.”
Cassiopeia pressed her fingers to her temple as though warding off a headache.
“Children. I am surrounded by children.”
“Thank you,” Regulus said dryly, tone sharp with both sincerity and exasperation. “Truly. I had given up on the possibility that anyone could silence those two. I should’ve known it would be you.”
Cassiopeia gave him a cool, imperious glance.
“Someone has to know how to command a room.”
Sirius snorted bitterly but said nothing, though the glare he aimed at Rabastan promised whatever this was, wasn’t over. Rabastan only stretched, lacing his fingers behind his head, smug as a cat.
“Now that things have finally settled down, let us begin. We have gathered here to discuss the next steps.”
“Next steps?” Mary frowned, “What next steps?”
“Voldemort’s demise,” Regulus said, the words spoken with such certainty that even Illyan’s scoff died in his throat.
The room fell into stillness, the weight of his words pressing like thunderclouds.
“We need to get in touch with the survivors of the Order first.”
“Are there members alive?” Sirius frowned. “I thought they were all killed while we were in Hogsmeade.”
Cassiopeia shook her head.
“There are some left. Well hidden, but alive nonetheless. Frank and Alice Longbottom, Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Prewett twins.” She replied without hesitation. “Old roots survive even when the tree is cut down.”
“This is where I need you.” Regulus leaned forward, fingers steepled. His eyes flicked to his friends across the table, all of them staring at him with varying degrees of shock and hesitation.
“Wait,” Remus frowned deeply, “you want us to return to the headquarters like nothing happened?”
“Well, you can’t simply strut in there like it's your first day at Hogwarts.” Rabastan sipped from his goblet.
Remus ignored him entirely.
“What about all of this?” he gestured around the room. “We were bought, Reggie. Paid for like trinkets. How are we supposed to walk freely around?”
“You make it sound like I kept you locked in a cage, pup,” Illyan muttered, and Remus’ eyes snapped at the man.
“Shut the fuck up. It’s not about you,” he snarled, and Regulus almost laughed when Illyan fucking Muldoon grumbled something under his breath, then proceeded to do exactly what Moony said.
“I can think of some ways. Voldemort never checks on other's… assets. He assumes obedience, and it blinds him.” Regulus’ lip curled faintly, disdain plain as he spoke the word.
“Arrogance has always been his flaw,” Cassiopeia murmured approvingly. Her sharp eyes caught Regulus’ and, for a flicker, there was something like pride there. “But you’ll need more than assumption to make it work.”
“We’ll give them something to believe,” Regulus said. He leaned back, shoulders squared, his voice smooth and certain. “A story that holds weight. Something that explains your absence, something they can verify without risking your own cover or safety. We plant it in whispers. A sighting here, a rumour there.”
“What about our wonderful cousin?” Sirius asked. "She'll keep a close watch."
“Don’t worry about her. I have a bone to pick with her since this whole shit started.”
“Who is going to carry these whispers?” Rabastan cut in, his tone edged with scepticism. “It can’t be you. You’re watched too closely.”
Regulus turned his head slowly, meeting his eyes without blinking.
“A secret is a weapon, Rabastan. And weapons, if placed well, can cut deeper than any wand. You and Cassiopeia still have channels — the half-loyal, the opportunists who bow when it suits them but whisper treason when it does not. Use them. Let them carry the stories, never knowing who set them in motion. If one is caught, they become collateral damage. Voldemort would sooner crush the pawn than question why the board shifted.”
Rabastan’s lips twitched — not quite a smile, but the shadow of one. He sat back, arms crossing over his chest.
“You’ve been paying attention.”
“I didn’t survive this long just by accident, Rabastan. I need the information that the former students have been bought by Death Eaters to get out. We alter the truth enough to make the Order wonder if they can reclaim them.”
“And once they start wondering,” Cassiopeia murmured, sharp approval glinting in her eyes, “they’ll send someone. They always do. Curiosity is the Order’s greatest weakness.”
“And compassion,” Regulus added, tone dry. “They can’t help but rescue strays. We’ll use that. We let them think they’ve found us, think it’s their doing. Then we learn what they know about Voldemort. Where they hide. Who still breathes.”
“Dangerous,” Rabastan said, though the word no longer carried scorn, but there was a tinge of appraisal. “But bold. If it works, you’ll have two fronts of information — the Dark Lord’s and theirs.”
“That’s the point,” Regulus said simply. His calmness was unsettling; he didn’t flinch from the weight of his own plan.
Cassiopeia tilted her head, studying Regulus as though seeing him anew.
“You’ve grown into a strategist, Regulus. A true Black. Cold when you must be, clever when it counts.”
“I am what I had to become,” Regulus replied evenly, though his gaze lingered on James when he said it, as though the words weren’t entirely his own.
And then he straightened, the faintest echo of his father in the way he held himself — not in cruelty, but in command.
“You’ve thought of everything,” Rabastan murmured, sounding impressed.
He looked up at him.
“No. Just everything that’s already gone wrong before.”
“We just need a name,” Sirius said, sudden and quiet.
“A name?” Regulus blinked.
“We can’t be the Order of the Phoenix anymore. That was his order.”
The thought of Dumbledore made something cold crawl up his spine. The sanctimony in his eyes, the way his plans had always bled others dry while he remained untouched. He had always spoken in riddles, and they’d mistaken it for wisdom.
No more.
“A name…” he murmured, trailing off.
It should mean something. It had to be more than a rebellion. It had to be a resurrection, forged from what had been broken.
Regulus stared into the fireless hearth, watching the way shadows gathered like soot in the corners.
“The Hollow Nest,” he whispered.
“What?”
He looked at him, and the memory came rushing in — the ruins they’d built their survival in, the silence that followed every scream.
“The Hollow Nest,” he said again, voice stronger now. “Because that’s what they’ve left us. An empty world. Charred and silent. But something still lives there. In the wreckage. And it fights back.”
Remus sat forward slowly, nodding once.
“A nest isn’t just a ruin,” he said. “It’s a place to begin again.”
Regulus let the words settle in his chest.
Hollow Nest.
Not gilded. Not glorious. But real. Scarred, quiet, and still alive.
Chapter 36: So it begins
Summary:
Ok, so I might have sprinkled some Easter eggs all over the fanfiction. Some are obvious. Some are subtle. Some are… well, basically invisible unless you’ve sold your soul to the Harry Potter wiki.
What I wanted to say is that YES, THIS WILL HAVE A HEA (if you expected a sad ending, well, it's going to be a little sad, but happy. I don't know how to explain).
Chapter Text
“I am not going anywhere.” James crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw tight with the kind of stubbornness only a Potter could carry. “So, if you expect me to bow my head and follow your plan, you’re making a terrible mistake.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
Regulus looked at him over his shoulder as he poured himself another glass of wine.
Rabastan, Illyan, and Cassiopeia had slipped out right after Regulus ended the meeting, giving the others the courtesy of returning later to their own manors.
Or at least that was how Sirius phrased it before he vanished with Moony somewhere in the house. Most probably in his old room if Walburga’s shrieks echoing through the floorboards were anything to go by. Judging by the distinct thumps and muffled sounds, silencing charms had been deemed unnecessary.
Regulus, with a twitch of irritation, waved his hand and cast his own.
Circe's tits, the last thing he wanted was to hear his brother’s moans.
“So, you’re not expecting me to leave,” James said again. Not a question this time, but a statement.
“We already had this discussion, James.”
James’ lips pressed into a thin line. He remembered that discussion far too well. The one in which he had a breakdown because Regulus decided to kill his father without even bothering to tell him. The one where Regulus swore, cold and earnest, that he would never keep him in the dark again.
“So, ” Barty drawled lazily from his spot at the table, his legs sprawled over the polished wood as though it was his personal throne, “what are we going to do now? The fucker won’t die like any other wizard. You can’t just cast an Avada and expect him to become dust in the wind. That bastard’s made of stronger stuff.”
“In order to do that,” Regulus sipped from his wine, “first we need to find and destroy the Horcruxes.”
“Hor—what?” Mary frowned, leaning forward as though she’d misheard him.
“Horcruxes,” Regulus repeated, calm but deliberate. He set the glass of wine down and finally turned to face them fully. “Objects in which Voldemort has hidden fragments of his soul.”
Mary blinked, her voice sharp.
“Fragments of his soul? That’s— that’s impossible.”
“No,” Regulus corrected, “it is forbidden. There’s a difference.”
Lily blinked at him.
“You mean he’s actually split his soul and tucked it into trinkets?”
Regulus nodded.
“His soul is now...a wound, let's say. Cut pieces of himself deliberately and bound them into objects through ritual and blood magic. One violent death, one Horcrux. As long as those anchors remain, he cannot truly die. His body can be destroyed, but the soul…” He shook his head, clicking his tongue. “The soul endures, meaning he could be summoned and placed in another body over and over again.”
Mary’s face had gone pale, her hand clenching the edge of the table.
“You’re saying he’s…what? Immortal?”
“Not really,” Regulus explained. “But unkillable, for now. There is a difference, and one we must exploit. Immortality implies being untouchable. Voldemort is far from that. He has weaknesses, even if he does not see them. But until the Horcruxes are destroyed, his death is… temporary. A setback.”
“The locket,” James said, and Regulus nodded.
“The locket was one of them, yes. He created it when he killed a Muggle tramp. Now, we just need to find the others.”
“And do you know where they are?” Lily asked.
Regulus hesitated.
“I have…theories. They must be objects of meaning, things tied to his own history. He is predictable in that way. Sentimental, even. The locket was a piece of jewellery once owned by Salazar himself. Passed down as an heirloom to the Gaunt family. He wouldn't put his soul in a random trinket.”
“So, let me get this straight…we are basically starting a treasure hunt for bits of his soul, while dodging Death Eaters meetings and missions, infiltrating inside the Order, and making sure that nobody suspects that we are trying to kill Voldemort?” Evan asked, rubbing his temples.
The doors opened, and Remus and Sirius walked back into the dining room, both entirely too smug and entirely too disheveled. Remus’ hair stuck out at all angles, and — Salazar’s rotting corpse — there was a clear bite mark blooming purple on Sirius’ neck.
“Forgot how bloody tiny my bed was, but we managed to—” Sirius began, stretching his spine.
“Please don’t finish that fucking sentence,” Regulus groaned, and James nearly choked trying not to laugh.
“Excuse me?” Sirius whined in indignation, pointing accusingly at his brother and James. “I was the one who saw you two tangled up in the same bed! Don’t act high and mighty. At least we had the decency to leave the room.”
“You barged into the room,” James shot back.
“It was past breakfast,” Sirius retorted, huffing, “how about the cave incident, huh?”
“There was no cave incident!”
“James is right. There was no cave incident, Padfoot.” Remus nodded solemnly while James puffed his chest. “They were decent.”
“They were cuddling,” Sirius said darkly. “Some things you can’t simply bleach out of your brain, Moony.”
“Merlin give me strength,” Regulus muttered, slamming his glass down. “Now that I probably need to repeat myself, can we focus for longer than five seconds?”
“Oh yes,” Sirius drawled, plopping his ass on the chair with all the grace of a collapsing wardrobe. “Do repeat yourself because I believe we’ve just walked in right in the middle of another one of your villain monologues, and I’d hate to miss the juicy bits.”
Regulus gave him a withering glare.
“Horcruxes.”
“You told me about those before,” Sirius frowned, tilting his head like a dog hearing a strange whistle.
“Yes. We need to find them because it’s clear that there is more than one.”
Sirius stared, then barked a laugh.
“You’re telling me snake-face went around shoving his soul into knick-knacks? What is he, a deranged magpie?”
“Yes,” Regulus said flatly.
Remus, however, was frowning in thought.
“It makes sense,” he murmured. “I read about it once. Not in detail, because the book had half the pages ripped out, but there was a passage on soul fragmentation. It was described as the darkest magic possible. You can’t kill the wizard until every piece is destroyed.”
Sirius whipped around to stare at him.
“And you didn’t think to mention this before because?”
“Forgive me for not assuming Voldemort would be mad enough to actually do it.”
“When the hell did you even have the time to read about that?” Sirius frowned, helping himself with some wine.
“While you and Prongs were in detention, I used to sneak into the Restricted Section.”
Regulus’ mouth quirked into a smirk, eyes gleaming.
“Oh, Moony, I never saw you there. The things we would’ve done in that place.” He tipped his glass of wine in a mock toast, savoring the way Sirius immediately bristled.
Remus rolled his eyes, his lips curling into a small smile.
“You’re literally asking for it, Reggie.”
“Oi—what the hell does that mean?” James demanded, indignant.
“Excuse me??” Sirius sputtered at the exact same time, whipping his head between Regulus and Remus like he’d just walked in on them mid-affair.
“You two sound awfully defensive,” Regulus drawled, pretending to study the rim of his glass. “What, am I not allowed to appreciate a man who actually reads?”
“Reads?” Sirius choked. “You mean—Merlin’s balls—don’t flirt with him like that! Prongs, come and take your man!”
“I wasn’t flirting,” Regulus said, smirking even wider.
“Yes, you bloody were!” James barked, his hand shooting up like he was objecting in a courtroom. “You can’t just—say things like that—”
“Why not?” Remus asked mildly, but his lips twitched, betraying how much he was enjoying their sputtering. "Sounds like an innocent observation to me."
“Because—because—” James faltered, cheeks going red. “You don’t say things like that to Moony unless—unless—”
“Unless?” Regulus leaned forward, eyes glinting with mock curiosity.
Sirius slammed his glass down so hard that wine sloshed onto the table.
“You think you can just—just sit there smirking and pretend you’re not—” He gestured wildly between Regulus and Remus, unable to even finish the sentence.
“Oh, wow.” Mary whispered, looking at them. “This is even better than the time Lockhart caught Fabian with that sixth year in the broom closet.”
“I think you’re imagining things,” Regulus said silkily.
“Oh, I’m imagining things? I’m imagining things?!” Sirius rounded on Remus now, eyes wide. “Moony, tell me you’re not enjoying this. Tell me right now you don’t like the way he’s—he’s—” He made another helpless gesture at Regulus, who looked like a cat who had gotten into the cream.
Remus’ smirk finally broke into a grin.
“I don’t think I’ll tell you anything, Padfoot. I rather enjoy seeing you squirm like this.”
James groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
“Come on, love. This is not funny.”
“Right,” Barty scoffed, “it’s fucking hilarious.”
Remus had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing outright.
Regulus was ready to continue just because he enjoyed the way James’ cheeks flushed, when pain cut through his arm. Sharp and immediate. Across the table, Evan swore under his breath, face turning pale, while Barty’s grin faltered as he hissed through his teeth.
“Is this—” Evan whispered.
“He’s calling us, yes,” Regulus managed, the words barely audible. His gaze flicked up to James, whose amusement was gone—replaced by fear, by raw, unmasked concern that made Regulus ache more than the fire burning in his skin.
“You need to go back to the manors,” Regulus said, looking at Sirius. “Rabastan and the rest were also summoned. You can’t linger here any longer.”
Sirius looked ready to argue, his mouth already open, but Remus gripped his wrist and shook his head.
“Don’t make him waste time on us,” he murmured.
“That’s easy for you to say, Moony—” Sirius snapped, but his voice cracked halfway through. He glanced at James, then back at Regulus, and for once in his life, swallowed down the retort burning on his tongue. “Fine,” he muttered, though the word shook like glass. “But don’t you dare not come back, Reggie.”
“Don’t worry, Sirius. You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Regulus said, steady, though his throat tightened around the words.
Marlene crossed her arms, her jaw set.
“If you don’t come back, I’ll find you myself and drag your arse home. Dark Lord or not.”
She swept past without waiting for an answer, her boots echoing down the corridor.
Remus gave a small nod, understanding heavy in his eyes, then tugged Sirius toward the door. Sirius resisted for a heartbeat, staring hard at Regulus, as if he could burn something into him. Then he wrenched his arm away from Remus and crossed the room and hugged him.
Regulus froze.
“Owl me the moment you get back. Or pass a bloody letter to Lestrange.”
“Okay,” Regulus’ voice was small as he returned the hug.
The door closed behind them, and a heavy silence followed, broken only by Barty’s muttered curse as the Mark flared again.
James hadn’t moved all this time. He stood there, rooted, eyes locked on Regulus as if letting him out of sight meant losing him altogether. Slowly, he crossed the distance between them until they were chest to chest, the storm of his emotions barely contained beneath his skin.
Regulus tried to speak, but James’ hands were already on his face, palms warm, thumbs brushing against his jaw.
“I don’t care how long he keeps you. I’ll be right here when you come back. Do you understand?” James whispered, voice rough.
Regulus’ lips parted, but all he managed to do was nod, sharp, quick, before the fire in his arm pulled again, demanding.
James leaned in, pressed his forehead against Regulus’, and breathed out, “I love you.” The words were ragged, desperate, a prayer more than a promise.
Regulus shut his eyes, letting himself sink into that warmth for just a heartbeat longer.
“Love you, too.”
Then he stepped back. Straightened his spine and apparated.
When the world snapped back in place, the air was colder, heavier, carrying with it the tang of damp stone and mildew. Regulus looked around him, not recognizing the place. This wasn’t Hogwarts, but something else entirely.
The entrance hall in which they Apparated was big, the windows shuttered so tightly that no moonlight pierced through. There were no candles or chandeliers, but torches. It was almost trivial.
“What’s this place?” Evan scrunched his nose, looking around him.
“It looks like a glorified basement if you ask me.” Barty frowned and followed Regulus down the hallway.
Greyback prowled in front of the double doors, his gait restless, wolfish eyes gleaming with hunger. He grinned when he saw them approach, tongue running across his teeth like he was already deciding which one of them to eat first.
“I didn't expect to have fresh meat today,” he rasped, voice rough with growl.
“Funny,” Regulus drawled, brushing past him without pause, “I thought dogs were supposed to sit outside.”
Greyback snarled, but the double doors creaked open, granting them entry.
Inside, the long table stretched across the room, multiple eyes turning to them. Wherever they were, it must’ve been pretty personal because, sitting around the table, was only Voldemort’s inner circle. Bellatrix was practically vibrating with glee, Rodolphus was sitting beside her like the little obedient husband that he was, Yaxley and Dolohov were whispering at each other, abruptly stopping when they saw Regulus. Lucius, with his ever-arched brows, gave them a once-over while Narcissa’s pale gaze flickered and further down, where Nott and the hulking shapes of Crabbe and Goyle stood closely.
Cassiopeia sat poised beside Voldemort’s empty chair, dark eyes sharp as obsidian. Rabastan lounged in his chair like a bored predator, while Illyan was tracing lazy sigils into the wood with a finger. At the far end, three chairs waited—empty, expectant.
The murmurs began almost immediately.
“Well, if it isn’t our little Black prince,” Dolohov sneered, his voice oily. “Took you long enough. I was starting to think you’d forgotten your master.”
“Apologies,” Regulus said smoothly, sliding into his seat with the grace of a king among peasants. “I didn’t realize punctuality was being judged by men who can’t even spell it.”
Barty snorted into his hand. Evan smirked.
“You should mind your tone,” Lucius leaned forward, lips curling. “Respect is earned here, not handed down like a family heirloom.”
“Respect,” Regulus echoed, pouring himself a glass of wine from the decanter on the table as though he owned it. “Fascinating word. You should look into it sometime. I see you’re still a little sour after your failed attempt to acquire Potter.”
The slight stiffening of Lucius’s jaw was answer enough.
Bellatrix’ eyes narrowed, black pools glinting with mania.
“Oh, how clever you are, little Reggie. Always a quip, always a mask. But do you know what happens to masks when they crack?”
Regulus took a slow sip of wine, meeting her stare without blinking.
“They reveal something far less terrifying than you, cousin. Imagine my disappointment.”
Her chair screeched back, but Rodolphus caught her wrist with a muttered warning.
Yaxley spat on the floor.
“You’ve got a sharp tongue. Let’s see if it still works after a night with Greyback.”
“Thank you for the offer. But I don’t associate with things that piss on furniture.”
“Merlin, Reg,” Barty giggled, leaning back with a manic gleam in his eyes. “Keep this up and someone’s going to slit your throat before dessert.” His tone carried no fear, only delighted anticipation, like the prospect of violence was better than wine.
“Careful, Crouch,” Lucius drawled. “You’ll find yourself dragged down with him.”
Barty huffed, his grin feral.
“Better to go down laughing than spend eternity with a stick shoved up my arse, Malfoy.”
Evan, by contrast, didn’t laugh at all. He leaned forward, eyes glinting cold and sharp as glass.
“Strange,” he murmured, his voice deceptively mild. “For men who call themselves loyalists, you seem awfully eager to tear apart your own. Is that how you plan to impress our Lord? By squabbling like drunkards in a gutter? If so, perhaps I should take notes. I’ve been wasting far too much time with subtlety.”
The rebuke landed heavier than a curse. Lucius’ nostrils flared, Yaxley’s fists clenched on the table.
“Mind yourself, Rosier,” Dolohov snapped.
“Mind myself?” Evan’s smile was glacial. “I do. Constantly. That’s why I’m still alive. You, however…” He let the implication hang, twisting the stem of his goblet as though he was deciding whether to snap it.
Bellatrix barked out a laugh, sharp and wild.
“Oh, this is rich. Reggie with his silver tongue, Barty drooling for blood, and Evan playing at politics. What a circus.”
"And yet,” Regulus murmured, placing his glass back down with delicate precision, “the Dark Lord still graced us with his gift.”
"You’ll regret that tongue of yours one day, Black,” Yaxley growled. “When the Dark Lord sees you’re nothing but a boy playing soldier—”
“A boy,” Regulus interrupted, with a languid lift of his brow, “who has somehow survived his trials, while you were comfortably sitting on your asses, lavishing in the safety of Hogwarts. Tell me, Yaxley, do you even know how to kill an Acromantula?”
“You’re only breathing because of your name,” Dolohov snapped.
“And you’re only breathing,” Barty piped up, voice lilting, “because no one’s gotten bored enough to slit your throat in your sleep. Yet.” He leaned forward, eyes wild, grinning with a disturbing sincerity. “I could volunteer, if you like.”
Dolohov recoiled just slightly at the sheer eagerness on Barty’s face.
“Debatable,” Regulus checked his nails, “my Father wasn’t so eager to have me around.”
“Enough,” Lucius said sharply, his polished veneer cracking. “This is pathetic. Children nipping at the heels of men.”
“Children?” Evan’s voice was silk wrapped around steel. “Strange, because if memory serves right, your ‘men’ failed at the Department, failed at the Ministry, failed at Azkaban. Failed, failed, failed. So tell me, Malfoy, how many more failures will it take before the Dark Lord stops inviting you to his house?”
The air hissed with an intake of breath. Even Bellatrix tilted her head, eyes shining with twisted delight at the carnage unfolding between them.
“You arrogant little—” Lucius started, surging to his feet.
But he never finished.
The temperature plummeted. A ripple of something cold and bone-deep swept through the manor hall, stilling breath in lungs, cutting off words mid-curse. Greyback froze in his pacing, hackles raised, a low growl dying in his throat. The faintest rustle of fabric, the hiss of breath like a serpent in the dark, then silence.
Every chair scraped back at once, the Death Eaters rising to bow, their heads ducked low in unison.
And from the darkness gathering at the end of the table, Voldemort stepped forward.
“My faithful…” His voice was a whisper and a hiss, yet it filled the room as though spoken from the marrow of their bones. “How wonderful to see you gathered. Some of you are even on time.”
The faintest curl of his lip made several Death Eaters bow lower, Lucius among them, his blond head nearly touching the table.
"And look at you.” Voldemort’s gaze slid across the table, settling on Regulus and his friends. “What a wonderful addition to our little group. Finally got rid of the rags and filth. Tell me, do you think you are worthy of the Lord’s trust?”
“We would not be sitting here if we were not, my Lord.” Regulus’ voice was smooth, dipped in a confidence most mistook for arrogance.
A smile curved Voldemort’s lip, thin and cruel, but a smile nonetheless.
“Such conviction. Let us test it, then. There is a task that requires precision, cunning… and silence. Qualities you, I believe, possess. Crouch and Rosier will assist you. Think of it as a test.”
Murmurs shifted along the table. Bellatrix’ nails scraped across the wood, her eyes wide and jealous.
“My Lord,” Cassiopeia’s voice cut through, rich and commanding. She rose slightly, inclining her head. “If you will allow, I would like to make sure that they are guided properly. That they serve as the perfect reflection of what a Death Eater should be.”
Her gaze slid, deliberate and poisonous, toward Bellatrix.
“After all, not all of us are born to follow orders without restraint or… hysteria.”
Bellatrix hissed like a feral cat, but Voldemort’s hand lifted languidly, and the room froze again.
“My lovely Cassiopeia,” he murmured, “ever the voice of refinement. Very well. You may accompany them. But understand…” His gaze sharpened like a blade. “If they fail, your legacy dies with them.”
Cassiopeia inclined her head without a flicker of hesitation.
“They will not fail, my Lord.”
Voldemort’s eyes gleamed red as they lingered on Regulus once more.
“Tell me, Regulus. The Potter boy. How fares your little investment?”
A ripple of unease skittered down the table. No one spoke until Regulus leaned back in his chair, one corner of his mouth twisting into a dark, knowing smile.
“Well enough, my Lord,” he drawled. “I can hear his whining from the upper floor. It carries so sweetly through the halls. Almost… like music. I bet even my Mother, Salazar rest her soul, enjoys them. He is currently kept in the basement, but maybe, with proper training, I will be able to move him to the attic. Share the space with our family’s ghoul.”
The table erupted with cruel laughter, jagged and mirthless, though more than a few pairs of eyes flickered nervously toward Regulus.
Voldemort’s chuckle, however, was low and genuine, if such a word could ever apply to him.
“Delicious. Yes… Perhaps you will entertain me more than I thought.”
He leaned back, long fingers drumming on the table.
“ But, let us speak of what matters. Reports. The western Lowlands, the market, and our shipments. Dolohov.”
Dolohov straightened, smirking as though pleased to be singled out.
“The raids in Glasgow went as planned, my Lord. We struck the safehouses and burned them to ash. A few managed to flee, but we killed the others. Some we kept for interrogation.”
Voldemort’s eyes gleamed faintly red.
“And yet,” he said softly, “you let the Prewett whelps escape.”
The smirk faltered. Dolohov bowed his head quickly.
“My Lord, they had assistance—”
“The Prewetts,” Voldemort hissed, his voice sharp, “have slipped from your grasp more than once.”
“It won’t happen again, my Lord.” Dolohov went pale, stammering.
“See that it does not.” Voldemort’s gaze drifted lazily down the table. “Yaxley. The slaves.”
Yaxley cleared his throat, pushing his chair behind.
“My Lord, the shipments from the Isles arrived last week. The strongest have been sorted and sold to our allies; the rest were… disposed of. We are preparing another run through the ports in France.”
“Profitable?” Voldemort asked.
“Extremely, my Lord.”
A thin smile split Voldemort’s lipless mouth.
“Good. Our coffers must remain overflowing. War is expensive. Fear is expensive. And I do not intend to go wanting.”
Across the table, Cassiopeia tilted her head.
“The problem, my Lord, is visibility. Too many of our operations are done in daylight. The Order may be weakened, but their shadows still move. We cannot risk giving them patterns to track.”
“She’s right. Even the most foolish hound can catch a trail if we leave enough crumbs.” Regulus nodded slightly, not bothering if anyone considered him unworthy to participate in this discussion.
He needed answers and, most importantly, he needed Voldemort’s trust.
Bellatrix bristled, eyes narrowing.
“Are you calling us foolish?”
“I’m saying,” Regulus replied smoothly, “that leaving trails is foolish. But if the boot fits, cousin, do wear it.”
Before Bellatrix could lunge, Rabastan’s voice cut across the table.
“My Lord, with respect, the Prewetts sighted in Glasgow are a greater danger than scraps of smugglers. They’re resourceful. Cunning. If the Order rebuilds, they’ll be the backbone.”
Barty, who had been balancing his knife on the edge of the table, grinned without looking up.
“Backbones crack, Rab. All you need is the right angle.”
Evan smirked, adding smoothly, “Or you remove the head and watch the body collapse on its own. The twins aren’t the problem. Their leader is. Find that, and everything else is background noise.”
Voldemort’s eyes flicked to them, and his fingers tapped thoughtfully.
“Clever words from clever mouths. Perhaps I should let what I had in mind for one of the novices and instead send the three of you after the Prewetts, to see if your wit is matched by skill.”
Bingo.
Regulus almost smiled at how well everything fell into place.
“We would be honored, my Lord,” Evan said with a bow, his tone polished and deferential. But his eyes glittered like cut glass, sharp and cold.
This was the Evan Rosier Regulus knew. The bloody manipulator did it again.
Voldemort’s gaze lingered before drifting away, his attention shifting once more.
“Lucius. The Ministry.”
Lucius straightened immediately.
“The pressure holds. Our men within continue to turn the tide in our favour. Policies are… subtly adjusted to favour our Lord’s will. With Bagnold out of the picture, Fudge is malleable—he believes he acts of his own accord.”
“Pathetic little man,” Voldemort murmured. “But useful. As long as he dances to my strings.”
Cassiopeia interjected again, her tone precise.
“The more we press, the more the Order will be forced into the open. The Prewetts were not in Glasgow by chance. Most probably, they were scouting. They will seek cracks in our control. That makes them predictable.”
“Yes,” Regulus said quietly, almost as if to himself. “Predictable prey makes for an easy hunt.”
Voldemort’s lips curved in approval, though whether it was for Cassiopeia’s sharpness or Regulus’ dark certainty, none could tell.
“Then it is decided,” Voldemort hissed, rising slightly in his chair. “We shall cut out the Order’s heart before it dares to beat again. Dolohov, you will not fail me again. Yaxley, make sure that your profits increase. And as for the Prewetts…”
His eyes burned scarlet as they fixed on Regulus.
“They are yours. Bring me their heads.”
The chamber broke into a rustle of cloaks and whispers as the Dark Lord dismissed them with a languid flick of his hand. The scrape of chairs, the shuffle of boots across marble, the poisonous murmur of Death Eaters eager to boast of their orders. Regulus rose silently, his expression carved from marble, ignoring the lingering stares and sneers as he followed Cassiopeia, Rabastan, Barty, and Evan out into the corridor.
“So, when are we supposed to go?” Barty muttered, already impatient, his shoulders rolling as though spoiling for a fight.
“I will let you know,” Cassiopeia answered smoothly, her tone carrying finality. Her gloved fingers tapped against her wand absently, but her eyes flicked to Regulus, gauging his stillness.
Regulus exhaled slowly and drew his wand. With a practiced flick, silvery light burst forth, rippling into the grand shape of a lion that prowled forward, mane rippling in a phantom wind. The beast roared once, proud and untamed, before dissipating into sparks that faded into the cold air of the manor.
Barty let out a short, manic scoff, doubled immediately by Rabastan’s laugh.
“Should’ve known the snake would eventually shed its skin,” Rabastan said, his smirk sharp. “Never thought it would turn into a lion, though.”
“Fuck off,” Regulus snapped, lowering his wand. “I know you well enough and you'll go straight to Sirius with something utterly idiotic, just so you can rile him for sport.”
“What can I say?” Rabastan pressed a hand to his chest in mock sincerity. “I like to indulge myself a little too much sometimes.”
“You don’t say,” Evan drawled, his voice cool and deliberate. “One of these days, your ‘indulgence’ is going to put you on the wrong side of a wand, Rabastan. And I’ll be the first to bet against you.”
“Please,” Rabastan sneered, though his eyes gleamed. “Sirius is all bark and no bite.”
“Maybe,” Barty cut in, his grin wide and unsettling. “But if it does come to that, I hope I’m close enough to watch. There’s nothing quite like the sound of a Black tearing another man’s throat out.”
“Merlin’s balls, Barty,” Rabastan muttered, though the way he chuckled said he enjoyed the madness.
Barty leaned lazily against the wall, a grin stretching too wide across his face.
“Still—credit where it’s due. Regal little Patronus you’ve got there, Reg. Very Gryffindor of you. Does James know? He’d probably faint from joy.”
Cassiopeia exhaled sharply, a long, measured sigh that carried more weight than any raised voice could.
“Enough,” she said, and her voice sounded terribly similar to Remus’ whenever he had had enough shit. She stepped forward, hand resting lightly on Regulus’ shoulder, her presence commanding without effort. “Go back to your manors. Wait there for my signal. Not a word before then, and not a single reckless stunt.”
Chapter 37: Welcome to the Jungle
Summary:
Or the chapter where everybody has some sort of cultural awakening (especially Moony)
Chapter Text
Rabastan had unexpectedly good taste in interior design. Sirius will give him that.
Would he ever express his admiration loudly? Well, to put it simply, he’d rather fling himself headfirst from the nearest window, and preferably land on something sharp, just to make sure his dignity didn’t survive the fall. Thank you very much for asking.
But still… the bastard’s house was nice. Too nice, considering Rabastan's last two points of reference were Grimmauld Place and the Lestrange manor.
Despite his constant snark and utterly baseless (yet inventive, mind you) threats, Rabastan allowed Sirius to wander through the manor however and wherever he pleased.
A dangerous move, honestly, considering Sirius Black unsupervised was a recipe for absolute havoc.
So, it was no surprise that he chose to snoop through all the rooms. He half expected to find something incriminating, like a torture chamber, a basement full of screaming portraits, or at least a chest of cursed objects locked away in some shadowed corner.
Instead, he found a library that even Madame Pince would find dull. Books aligned in perfect rows, shelves dust-free, volumes on politics, geography, war strategy, and economics of all things. Not even a whisper of something racy or sinister. James, who once tried to convince Sirius that Quidditch magazines counted as “academic reading,” would have yawned himself into a coma here.
The guest rooms were equally unsettling. Spacious, comfortably furnished, each bed neatly made and looking like they actually welcomed guests rather than waited to smother them in their sleep. Everything smelled faintly of lavender and fresh air. Sirius spent an unholy amount of time opening wardrobes, convinced he’d eventually find skeletons. No such luck. Just neatly folded linens and the occasional robe.
The drawing room was small. There were armchairs that looked like you could collapse into them after a long day without being stabbed by the springs, and a fireplace that gave off actual warmth rather than Grimmauld’s usual brand of “ominous flickering.” Sirius stood there for a good five minutes, squinting at it like everything might be nothing more than an illusion.
Finally, the dining room was spacious and well-lit, and on the table, Merlin's soggy beard, were flowers.
Fresh fucking flowers.
Sirius froze, staring at them as though they’d sprouted out of Rabastan’s ass instead of a vase. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen flowers in a Black household.
Certainly, never in Grimmauld Place.
Poor things wouldn’t have survived the stale air, the gloom, or Walburga’s shrieks.
His mother, bless her eternally rotting soul, considered flowers “decadent filth” and “mudblood-adjacent decorations.” Sirius had been six the first time he’d tried to bring in a daisy chain, and she’d burned it right in front of him.
Yet here, on Rabastan Lestrange’s dining table, a simple bouquet stood proudly in a vase. Red and white, no less. Sirius actually had to grip the back of a chair to steady himself.
Fresh flowers. In this house. He was living in a fever dream.
The kitchen was also empty, but there was fresh food on the table, meaning that some elves were indeed there. Sirius found himself irrationally annoyed that even the bloody kitchen was well-kept.
The only place Sirius was not allowed to roam was outside. Sirius had thought he’d be clever, sneak through the front door, and bolt into the open, shift into Padfoot and run straight to Moony. But the second his foot hit the threshold, the wards nearly set his eyebrows on fire. He yelped, staggered back, and spent the next five minutes cursing Rabastan in increasingly creative ways while patting down his singed hair.
That fucker was good with wards. Sirius would give him that.
Still, Sirius thought as he flopped into one of Rabastan’s suspiciously comfortable armchairs, the whole thing was unnerving. This manor wasn’t suffocating with madness like his parents’ house, nor dripping with bloodlust like Bellatrix’ home. It was… warm. Lived in. Safe, almost.
Sirius nearly toppled from the armchair as the light in the room twisted, focusing into a brilliant, almost blinding glow. His heart skipped a beat, well, several, and then he saw it. A massive, shimmering lion burst from the closed window, every strand of golden light quivering like a living thing. The air seemed to vibrate with its power.
“All went well. Don’t do something stupid,” the lion said in Regulus’ calm voice.
His mouth fell open, eyes wide enough to shame an owl.
“What the actual—what the fuck is this?”
Rabastan appeared almost casually in the doorway, like he had materialized from thin air. Sirius didn’t even hear the Apparition.
“A lion,” he said with a faint smirk, hands tucked behind his back.
“A…what??” Sirius squeaked, voice higher than he would have liked. He jumped from the seat and took a hesitant step backward, as if putting distance between him and the glowing beast would make it vanish.
“A feline. You know,” Rabastan said patiently, “like the Gryffindor mascot. Not that I expected you to recognize symbolism beyond the obvious.”
“I bloody know that! I just… I was expecting a crow, or a bat, or, I don’t know, a snake? Something… predictable!” Sirius gestured wildly at the glowing feline that now prowled around the room, every step echoing with magic.
“Oh, a snake it has been,” Rabastan said dryly, rolling his shoulders. “The little shit just changed it. Glad to find you in a better mood. Gnawed at the bones I left you like a good little dog?”
Sirius spun on him, teeth bared, voice dangerously low.
“Fuck you! And don’t you dare call my brother a little shit.”
The lion shook his head in something that looked awfully similar to Regulus’ rolling his eyes, then disappeared.
Rabastan only chuckled, unbothered by the venom dripping from Sirius’ words.
“Oh, I’ve more than earned the right to call him however I like. Believe me, Black, if you had any idea what I’ve seen him pull off, you’d be calling him worse.”
Sirius’ jaw clenched, knuckles white on the table.
“You don’t get to—”
“Relax,” Rabastan cut in smoothly. “I don’t say it with hatred. That brother of yours is a manipulative, sharp-tongued little bastard who could talk a dementor into wearing a tutu, and I mean that as a compliment.”
Rabastan walked past him, straight to the cabinet, taking out a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses.
“So,” Rabastan went on, pouring the amber liquid as though they were old friends meeting after work. “Did you finish your daily snoop, or should I provide you with the blueprint of the manor for the hidden rooms?”
Sirius narrowed his eyes at him, his entire face tightening into a scowl.
“I knew you had something like that!”
“Of course,” Rabastan said, utterly unfazed, settling into a chair. “All the paranoid purebloods have one. It’s in our blood. Want some?” He held out the second glass, casual as ever, like offering poison disguised as a gift.
Sirius opened his mouth, then closed it, narrowing his eyes at the glass like Rabastan was asking him to share the same vial of Veritaserum.
“Salazar’s bollocks, I forgot what an obnoxious bastard you can be.” He poured himself more than he should have, downed half of it in one go, then yanked a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and shoved them across the table. “I am not lighting it for you.”
Sirius watched them cautiously, then, because he is just a man and his will has always been in shambles, he took them. He dragged from the cigarette and nearly rolled his eyes in his head.
Those were good. Too good. Better than the cheap things he used to smoke behind the castle greenhouses with Moony.
Rabastan let him have that moment before speaking, his voice lower now.
“He’s sending them on a mission.”
Sirius froze mid-drag, the smoke burning harshly in his throat.
“What?”
“Selwyn will go with them, so everything should be fine.” Rabastan’s tone suggested he didn’t fully believe it himself.
“But?” Sirius gulped.
Rabastan looked at him over the rim of his glass.
“But it will be a raid. Against the Order. Voldemort wants the Prewett twins.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.” Rabastan drained his glass in one swallow. “I expect Reggie to come up with a fucked-up plan, anyway. The little shit is resourceful.”
Rabastan sighed.
“Listen, I don’t want to be your enemy, Sirius. Banter and snark aside, I’d rather we worked together.”
Sirius blinked, incredulous.
“Work together? What the hell could you and I possibly work on that wouldn’t end in me hexing your smug face off?”
Rabastan smirked, calm as if he were discussing Quidditch scores
“Survival. Keeping Regulus alive. And, dare I say, something resembling sanity.” He set the glass down with a soft clink. “Which is exactly why I’m extending you a courtesy.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.” Sirius squinted at him suspiciously.
“You should,” Rabastan chuckled. “Because I discussed with Muldoon, and your little boyfriend will be coming here to stay.”
For the first time in a long while, Sirius was utterly speechless. His mouth opened, shut, opened again like a fish gasping for air. Finally, he managed, “...Is this another one of your piss-poor jokes? Because I swear to Merlin—”
“Unfortunately, no. I don’t waste my breath on jokes when the situation is this serious. I’d rather see you both kept under one roof, where I can keep an eye on you, and where Regulus doesn’t have to spend half his nights worrying you’ve bolted into the path of the first curse that’ll take your head off because you have separation anxiety.”
“When is he coming?” Sirius stared, half-glass forgotten in his hand.
“After the full moon. Muldoon wants to supervise the side effects of the new Wolfsbane potion.”
Sirius’ back went ramrod straight, cigarette burning low between his fingers.
“Side effects?” His voice cracked on the word, sharp with panic.
Rabastan lifted his palm in mock-calming.
“Calm down, he’s in good hands.”
“What about Vodemort? Won’t he check on them?”
“Nah,” Rabastan waved a hand lazily, like the Dark Lord was nothing more than an annoying bureaucrat. “Nobody knows where Muldoon resides. That man’s paranoid enough to have a new home each week. As long as he delivers what’s requested, Voldemort doesn’t give a shit.”
The silence that followed was thick enough to choke on. Sirius gripped the glass until his knuckles turned white, a storm of curses pressing against his tongue. But the thing that escaped him was quieter, rawer.
“If he gets hurt—if Remus so much as suffers—I’ll make you regret every breath you’ve ever taken.”
Rabastan tipped his glass toward him in a lazy mock-toast, completely unbothered.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not in the business of letting useful people suffer.”
“I settled your transfer to Lestrange’s Manor,” Illyan said casually from where he sat hunched over the boiling cauldron.
Remus took three deliberate steps back for precaution because, one, that shit stank, and it was enough that his senses were already overstimulated from the upcoming full moon, and second, the last time he dared to approach Illyan mid-brew, he almost lost half of his face.
So, no thank you.
“Why?” Remus asked flatly, arms crossing over his chest. His amber eyes stayed locked on the cauldron. Illyan had told him it was another enhancer, though Remus had his doubts.
“Why what?” Illyan finally looked up, one brow cocked in mock confusion.
“Why am I moving there?”
A crooked smirk tugged at Illyan’s lips.
“I expected your reunion with your boyfriend to make you a little more joyful. Shouldn’t you be wagging your tail?”
“I am,” Remus deadpanned. “But joy doesn’t erase logic. You don’t expect me to believe there’s no hidden maneuver.”
“Well,” Illyan put the ladle down, and Remus swore that he heard the wood table sizzle.
Yeah, enhancer, my ass.
“There is no secret manoeuvre,” Illyan air quoted. “Just a way to make sure that Regulus doesn’t jeopardise years of hard work, since his dear brother can’t seem to grasp the art of behaving like a decent human being with people who actually give a shit about his well-being.”
Remus’ jaw tightened. He shifted his weight, bracing his palms on the edge of the workbench.
“What about the full moons?”
“What about them?”
Remus’ nostrils flared.
“Can you fucking keep up with a conversation, or do you need to parrot every question back at me?”
Illyan’s smirk widened.
“Flamel’s rusted bones, you’re pissy today. Must be the lunar cycle. You’ll receive the potions, don’t worry about that.” He waved a hand dismissively. “And it’s not like you’ll be staying there constantly. I will still need you here from time to time.”
Remus narrowed his eyes.
“I told you, I am not interested in becoming your fucking experiment.”
“Partner, Lupin. Experiment partner. There’s a difference.”
“Whatever.”
“It’s a win-win situation.” Illyan leaned back, propping his boots on a stool as if he wasn’t sitting beside boiling poison. “I brew you a potent Wolfsbane strong enough to make you an obedient little pup who’d rather stay under the table, and you—” he jabbed a stained finger toward Remus, “—you occasionally put that overly moral brain of yours to good use. A lovely balance, don’t you think?”
“There’s no such potion, Muldoon. You’re baffling.”
“Am I now?” Illyan’s grin turned sharp, wolfish in its own way. He reached into the clutter at his side and pulled out a small glass vial filled with liquid the color of storm clouds. He set it down on the table with a deliberate clink.
“Why don’t we test it, huh?”
Remus stared at it, then at him.
“…You’ve got to be fucking joking.”
“Do I look like I am joking?”
“Yes.”
“Fair.” Illyan chuckled under his breath. “But you’d be surprised. One sip and you might find yourself housebroken at last. No more pacing, no more snarling, no more breaking furniture when the moon gets too round.”
Remus’ lip curled.
“Try pushing that vial toward me again, Muldoon, and I’ll show you snarling.”
“Oh, terrifying.” Illyan leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm. “You bark so well, Lupin. Wonder how well you heel.”
Remus slammed his palm against the table hard enough that a few vials rattled.
“I am not your dog."
“No, you’re my wolf,” Illyan corrected smoothly, unfazed by the display. “And that, my dear Lupin, is exactly why I’d rather have you drink that instead of having you trot directly to Greyback’s open arms. He is quite fond of his litter of pups.”
Remus’ lips curled back.
“Don’t you dare—”
“Oh, I dare,” Illyan cut in, voice soft but firm. “You think you can hold out forever? You think those chains in your skull won’t crack when he finally corners you? He’s watching, Lupin. Always watching. And when he decides to strike, all that self-control you clutch at like a rosary won’t matter. You’ll be his.”
The words hit harder than Remus wanted to admit. His chest tightened, his throat dry as ash. He hated that Illyan could put his finger exactly where the wound was deepest, could dig his nail into it until Remus’ breath came short.
He looked at the vial again.
“You’re a manipulative bastard,” Remus muttered; voice hoarse.
“Better start taking notes, Lupin. War doesn’t take soft-hearted bastards well.”
Remus dragged a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He stood there for a long moment, jaw clenched so hard it hurt, then finally snatched up the vial. He uncorked it with a sharp pop.
“Merlin help me,” he muttered, and downed it in one go.
He gagged, slamming the empty glass onto the table.
“Bloody hell! What did you put in that—” He broke off, shaking his head as the aftertaste clung. “—you poisoned me.”
“No,” Illyan said simply, leaning back with infuriating calm. “I improved you.”
Remus glared, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“If I wake up covered in blood, I swear I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” Illyan’s smirk deepened. “Snarl? Bite? Please do. I’ve survived far worse.” He stood and stretched, brushing off his robes as though he hadn’t just shoved Remus into swallowing gods-know-what.
Remus’ glare stayed fixed on him, but Illyan’s tone shifted, quieter now, threaded with something heavier.
“And before you work yourself into another righteous fit, yes—I’ll be supervising the whole transformation.”
Remus blinked.
“…What?”
“You heard me.” Illyan gestured toward the shelves, where more labelled vials glinted under the lantern light. “I’m not letting you drink my work and then vanish into some shack to shred yourself apart. You’ll be here. I’ll watch, I’ll record, and if something goes sideways, I’ll be right there to yank you back before you go full monster.”
Remus scoffed, though the sound was brittle.
“And what would you know about that?”
For a moment, Illyan’s eyes flickered, and there was something sharp, unguarded, almost raw. Then he smirked again, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Do you see my tail anywhere, Lupin? Keep drinking the bloody potion.”
Remus froze, searching his face, but Illyan had already turned away, busying himself with parchment and quills. The man’s shoulders looked steady, composed—too composed, as though he’d already said more than he meant to.
He stared at Illyan’s back as the man scribbled something down on parchment like nothing significant had just slipped from his mouth.
And yet—it stuck.
That single, careless line.
Do you see my tail anywhere, Lupin?
It shouldn’t have been more than sarcasm, a Muldoon-flavored barb, sharp enough to draw blood if he let it. But Remus’ senses were prickling, and they hadn’t lied to him yet.
He’d always thought there was something odd about Illyan’s scent. Not in the obvious way, no acrid burn of Wolfsbane lingering in his sweat, no iron-sour reek of old blood the way Greyback’s pack carried with them. It was subtler, buried under layers of things Remus had assumed came from years spent hunched over cauldrons: bitter herbs that clung to his skin, metallic traces of mercury and copper, charred roots, too many volatile potions stewing until they seeped into his pores.
But beneath all of that, beneath the acrid smoke and alchemical rot, there had always been…something else. Something earthy, feral, familiar.
Moss after rain. A forest floor crushed under paws. The faintest tang of wild things.
Remus had dismissed it a hundred times. Told himself he was imagining it. That it was only the scent of someone who lived too long in shadowed corners, working with substances that didn’t belong in clean air. And yet, every time he stood too close, every time Muldoon brushed past him in the cramped lab, the recognition sparked again.
Now, with that one careless remark still echoing, it roared louder than ever.
His gaze dropped to Illyan’s hands, fingers steady as they moved over the parchment, ink flowing smoothly. No tremor. No stiffness in the knuckles. None of the ache in the bones Remus had grown up with, that lived in his own hands even on good days.
His eyes travelled to Illyan’s posture. Upright. Balanced. Not hunched against phantom pains. Not braced like someone waiting for the next pull of the moon to remind him of what he was.
Nothing betrayed the wolf. Not the pallor in his skin, not a twitch in his muscles, not the faint, restless edge that most bitten carried with them. Nothing at all.
And maybe that was the strangest thing of all.
Because if Remus’ instincts were right and Illyan was like him, if there was truly a wolf pacing beneath that calm, cutting exterior, then he’d mastered it to a degree Remus could barely fathom.
James didn’t interrupt Regulus while he reiterated how the meeting went.
Naturally, he hated the idea. As well as he hated everything that put Regulus in danger.
James really thought that he hid it well until he caught sight of Barty’s shit-eating grin. Seriously, that man couldn’t catch a break. Or read the room and fuck off.
“Come on, Potter,” Barty crooned. “You’ll pull something off if you continue frowning like that.”
“Fuck off, Crouch.” James snapped before he could stop himself.
“Lovely chat.” Barty leaned back in his chair, hands laced behind his head like he had all the time in the world. “And here I was, hoping you’d spent your free time learning new curses to throw at me. Foolish optimism on my part.”
“Keep talking, and I’ll take my wand out to show exactly how many curses I know.”
“James,” Regulus cut in with a long-suffering sigh, and Barty’s grin only widened, sharp as a knife.
“Barty, stop pushing him,” Regulus added without looking up.
“Oh, I’d never,” Barty said, all mock innocence, though his smirk said otherwise. He opened his mouth for another jab but caught Evan’s sharp, warning look from across the table. With a click of his tongue, he leaned back again, though the mischief didn’t leave his eyes.
“Tell me that you have a plan,” James looked at Regulus, ignoring Crouch entirely. His voice softened just slightly at the end, but the tension around his jaw betrayed him.
“Of course, I have a plan,” Regulus scowled. “You almost sound like you don’t have faith in me. Rude, if I might add.”
James scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“In you, I have total faith, love. In the Order? I’d rather not.”
“You mean the very Order that cradled you?” Barty mused, tilting his head like a magpie eying something shiny.
“Yeah, well, that happened years ago, Crouch.” James’ glare sharpened. “In case your brain malfunctioned again, we’ve been caught. Remember? Or are you too busy sniping at me to recall the whole imprisonment thing?”
“Oh, I recall,” Barty’s smile curled slyly. “Some of us adapted. Some of us sulked. Guess which camp you fall in, Potter?”
James’ fist clenched so tightly his knuckles cracked.
“What are we supposed to do?” Lily asked, curling her legs under her, a steaming mug of tea cupped between her palms. Her voice was calm, but her eyes were sharp, darting from Regulus to James to Barty.
“Well, in this phase? Nothing.” Regulus’ tone was clipped, businesslike, though his hand twitched slightly against the armrest. “I need to see if we get in contact with someone important from the Order. Or at least, intercept one of their bases. I doubt they’d be open for discussions.”
“I can come with you for that,” James said, and Barty scoffed.
“Yeah, exactly what we needed, Potter. Babying you on the battlefield. We are expected to kill people there, not pick up survivors, or whatever saintly shit you were doing during war.”
James’ eyes snapped to him, jaw tightening.
“Say that again.”
“Gladly,” Barty smirked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. “You’re not cut for raids. You never were. Too soft. Too sentimental. You’d waste time trying to save stragglers when the rest of us are busy trying not to get hexed to bits.”
“Barty.” Evan’s warning cut through, but his tone held no real heat. He’d seen this dance before.
“Barty is right,” Regulus interjected, his hand reaching across to squeeze James’ before his temper could explode. “Poor choice of words, but he’s right nonetheless. You can’t be there, James. Not glamoured, not masked, not disguised as someone else. The risk is too high.”
James scoffed, but the edge in his eyes betrayed how much he hated hearing it from Regulus.
“So what, I’m just supposed to sit here while you throw yourself at the wolves?”
“Technically, I am working with the wolves,” Regulus replied dryly. “Practically, I’ll try to find more so you have a free pass inside the Order. And when I say ‘you,’” his eyes shifted past James, landing on Lily, “I mean you.”
Lily’s brows shot up.
“Me?”
“First opening,” Regulus said steadily, “you take Mary and go there.”
“What?” Lily put the mug down. “You want us to hide?”
“I want you to be smart. You’re Muggleborn, and if Voldemort ever wants Barty to bring you to one of the gatherings, he can’t refuse. You know that. Marlene is more protected since Cassiopeia claimed her, but you two…”
Lily’s jaw clenched, her green eyes flashing.
Regulus leaned forward, his voice lower.
“You are smart, Evans. Smarter than you take credit for. I need you inside the Order so that I can slip information through. I need people whom I trust. I’ll let you know when and where Voldemort will strike. Which shipping routes are vulnerable. Which warehouses hide slaves, and so on. You will pass the information to the Order and make sure not to disclose your sources.”
Lily’s lips curled, not into a smile but something sharper.
“You talk as if I’m already yours to command.”
James glanced at her, sensing the storm building in her tone.
“What about—”
“Veritaserum and Legilimency?” Regulus smiled. “I know that you happen to recognize the smell of Veritaserum and that you are a more than decent Occlumens. Play the dumb card with them, Evans, not me. The Order does not have a good Legilimens anymore. Moody was the best and he’s dead. Maybe Longbottom, but I doubt that he mastered it.”
Lily’s hand left her mug entirely, fingers splaying on the table as she leaned forward, her voice steel.
“What about Remus and Sirius?”
“They will follow you eventually. Their situation is pretty volatile. Sirius with his Black bloodline and Remus being a werewolf. The Order might be doubtful of their allegiance after so many years. But you are Muggleborns. They’ll be desperate to believe in you.”
“Summoning blood purity as a strategy. Cold, even for you, Reggie,” Lilith’s eyes narrowed.
“Well, if this is what keeps you alive, I don’t give a shit how cold it sounds.”
“And James?” Lily spoke his name, and James pushed his glasses up his nose and straightened like he’d been waiting for his cue.
“Actually, I’ll be the messenger,” James said, matter-of-fact. “I’ll pass the information to you. Patronuses and owls are too predictable—traceable, even if they look safe. We’ll use them only in emergencies. Otherwise, we meet somewhere out of the way. I’ll slip you what I have, you take it to the Order, and we hope nothing goes to shit in between.”
Lily arched a brow, but before she could answer, Barty snorted.
“When the fuck did you two concoct this?” he demanded, his frown aimed at Regulus like an accusation.
“Were you expecting that we are just fucking around?”
“Well, yes,” Barty said flatly, arms folding across his chest. “Merlin knows there’s probably not a surface left untouched by you two. I’m shocked to discover you actually talk.”
James shot him a glare that could have scorched stone.
“You’re obsessed with our sex life, Crouch. Should I be worried?”
Barty’s grin came sharp and unrepentant.
“Maybe. I’m only saying—every time I see you, Potter, you’ve either got your tongue down his throat or that constipated look on your face that screams domesticated husband. Planning war strategy wasn’t really on my bingo card.”
“Keep running your mouth and you’ll find out exactly what is on my bingo card,” James shot back, his tone deceptively light, though his hand twitched near his wand.
“Boys,” Lily cut in sharply, her voice like a whip crack. Both of them flinched—not much, but enough. She leaned back in her chair, arms folded now, a queen surveying a room of squabbling idiots.
“I don’t care who’s fucking who on what surface. What I care about is not ending up face down in a ditch because one of you got sloppy.”
“See?” Regulus said smoothly, gesturing at her with a faint smirk. “This is why I want her inside the Order. She thinks with her head while the rest of you are too busy measuring dicks.”
“Oi,” James started, but Lily’s raised eyebrow cut him off.
A sharp tap-tap-tap rattled against the glass, cutting clean through the tension that still hung thick in the room. All eyes turned toward the window where a glossy black magpie was perched, its head cocked unnaturally, beady eyes glinting as though it knew far more than it should. It pecked again, impatient, the sound loud and insistent.
Regulus was on his feet in a second, chair scraping harshly against the floor. He pushed the latch and swung the window open. The bird swooped inside with a quick flutter of wings, landing neatly on the back of an empty chair as though it belonged there. Its feathers caught the firelight in ripples of green and blue, its gaze darting from face to face before it extended one slender leg.
A scrap of parchment was tied there.
Regulus untied it swiftly, eyes narrowing as he scanned the short message.
“Tomorrow at dawn. Outside Cairnhill Woods.”
The moment the words left his mouth, the magpie gave a sharp cry and launched itself back into the air, out through the open window, swallowed by the darkness outside.
When Regulus apparated with Barty and Evan in tow at the edge of the forest, he expected this to be a stealthy mission. He did not expect to find a bloody manor in the middle of fucking nowhere and corpses scattered all over the place—Order members and Death Eaters alike—victims of the senseless violence that had claimed them both.
The grass was stained a deep crimson, slick with blood, and the sky above was a dreary, foreboding gray, as though the heavens themselves mourned the scene before him.
“Seems like someone decided to make an early start,” Barty took in the scene.
“The question is why,” Evan hummed, “it was supposed to be our mission.”
“Go and find Rabastan and Cassiopeia,” Regulus told Barty and Evan without even looking at them. They were all wearing the same masks that made Regulus’ stomach turn.
Funny. Becoming the very thing that you despised.
Barty threw him a look, but eventually turned on his heels and followed Evan, leaving Regulus on the lawn.
He took a deep breath, steadying himself, and drew his wand, gripping it tightly in his gloved hand. Every instinct in him screamed to be cautious—there were no second chances here. The manor stood tall and imposing, its broken windows and crumbling stone walls a testament to the chaos that had erupted within. He stepped carefully inside, his senses heightened as he moved from room to room, each one a tomb of destruction. Furniture was overturned, scorch marks from spells marred the walls, and the eerie silence was punctuated only by the occasional creak of wood as the house settled.
Regulus opened the door to the cellar, stepping into total darkness. The air was damp and thick, filled with the metallic scent of blood and the musty odor of decaying wood. He paused on the first step, allowing his eyes to adjust to the gloom. Using Lumos here would be suicide. The darkness was his ally, masking his movements as he descended the stairs, each step as silent as death itself despite the heavy boots he wore.
As he reached the bottom, a faint sound caught his attention—a whimper, followed by a low, guttural chuckle that sent a shiver down his spine.
“The Dark Lord will be so pleased,” a man’s voice rasped, dripping with malice. “He’s always wanted to gift Nagini a Mudblood.”
He inhaled deeply; the smell of blood thick in the air. Another muffled cry followed, the sound of flesh being cut, and his blood boiled. Fury clouded his vision, his grip on his wand tightening until his knuckles turned white. He slid into the darkness, approaching the source of the voice with deadly silence. His heart pounded in his chest, but his mind was focused, calculating. Regulus moved like a shadow, unseen and unheard.
There was a Death Eater, hunched over a girl, his knife gleaming in the dim light as it sliced across her collarbone, leaving a fresh, bleeding wound in its wake. Her chest was exposed, her arms trembling as she tried to push herself away, but his grip on her hair yanked her still. Her eyes were wide with terror, glistening with unshed tears.
“Get away from her,” he ordered, his voice cold and unwavering.
The Death Eater jumped in surprise, spinning to face him. The knife clattered to the ground as his hand jerked, but his wand was already drawn. Recognition flashed in his eyes, followed swiftly by a glimmer of fear. He pointed his wand straight at Regulus, his breath coming harshly.
“You…you shouldn’t be here,” his voice wavered. “The twins are in the woods.”
Regulus tilted his head, lips curving into something that was not quite a smile.
“And you should be scrubbing the Dark Lord’s floors. Yet here we are. Why don’t you let her go and be the obedient little dog you’re so desperate to be?”
The Death Eater’s jaw tightened, but his grip on the girl only shifted tighter, his wand digging into her temple.
“I claimed her. You know the rules. Spoils belong to those who seize them. She’s mine.”
“She’s not a trinket to be claimed,” Regulus said, his voice smooth, deliberate. He took a single step forward, dark robes whispering against the floor. “Or do you mistake women for coins now? Should I check your pockets, see how many more you’ve collected tonight?”
The man snarled, spittle gathering at the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t preach to me, Black. You walk around with your head high, but you’re no different. She’s a body, nothing else. A body I won. You think the Dark Lord cares what I do with her?”
Regulus’ expression didn’t flicker.
“No. But he will care when you waste time. Like you said, the Prewetts are in the woods, and you’re here, rutting like a dog in heat over scraps.” His eyes flicked deliberately to the girl, then back, sharp as steel. “Do you plan to hand him excuses instead of prey?”
The Death Eater’s hand trembled, but his stubbornness clung like rot.
“She’s mine,” he repeated, voice lower, more guttural. “My right.”
“Your right?” Regulus echoed softly, with dangerous amusement. He took another slow step forward. “And what exactly makes her yours? That you cornered her first? That you put a knife to her skin? Do you claim kittens you drown as well? Or only girls who can’t fight back?”
The man bristled, his wand pressing harder against the girl’s head. She whimpered softly, eyes darting between them, lips trembling.
“Careful,” the Death Eater warned, his bravado cracking. “Don’t think your name makes you untouchable. You’re not the Dark Lord’s only pet.”
Regulus’ smile was thin and merciless.
“No, but I am the one standing in front of you right now, and you’re seconds away from losing more than just your toy. Let her go.”
The Death Eater’s lip curled, but his eyes darted, calculating.
“She’s mine. I claimed her. Don’t pretend you haven’t done the same.”
“Oh, darling,” Regulus murmured, tone almost pitying. “The difference between you and me is that I don’t mistake cruelty for ownership. Nor do I need to.” He gave a slow blink, as though already bored. “Let. Her. Go.”
The man shook his head stubbornly.
“No.
“Well,” Regulus shook his head, almost bored. “I tried. Avada Kedavra,” he said, almost whispering, but the green light exploded from his wand with lethal precision. His body slumped instantly, the life snuffed out in an instant. His corpse fell to the ground with a thud.
The girl gave a sharp, broken whimper, scrambling backward until her shoulders hit the stone wall. Her breath came in sharp gasps, her arms crossed tightly over her bleeding chest.
Regulus lowered his wand and looked down at the girl, his expression softening just enough to be almost unrecognizable from the man who’d just killed without blinking.
“Easy,” he said quietly, crouching low so he wouldn’t tower over her. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
He flicked his wand in a small, practiced motion.
“Episkey.”
The gash along her collarbone sealed with a faint hiss, leaving only a pink mark behind. Another wave of his wand cleaned the blood away from her skin, and the knife’s trail vanished as though it had never been there.
“There,” he murmured, more to himself than to her. “No scars. Not from him.”
Her eyes darted to him, wide and terrified, her body still trembling. Regulus swallowed tightly, his throat aching at the sight. He wanted to tell her she’d be safe, but lies tasted sour on his tongue.
“I can’t let you walk out like this,” he continued carefully, raising his wand again, slow enough that she could see every inch of the movement. “You’ll talk. You’ll remember. And then we’ll all be dead by morning.”
Her breathing hitched.
“Please don’t kill me.”
“Obliviate,” he whispered. Her eyes went glassy, the panic draining into vacant confusion.
Regulus exhaled shakily, fingers tightening on his wand. He hesitated because the next spell was one he loathed, one that made his skin crawl every time he cast it. And yet… he had no other choice.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, so quietly the stone seemed to drink the words whole. He lifted his wand a fraction higher.
“Imperio.”
Curious, how easy was for him to kill someone. To cast an Avada so clean and quick and feel nothing. But somehow so hard to cast this one.
The girl’s shoulders straightened, her mouth parting slightly as the blank clarity of obedience filled her expression.
Regulus forced himself to meet her gaze.
“Apparate to your base,” he instructed, voice steady though his stomach knotted. “Tell them that Sirius Black helped you. That Lily Evans, Mary Macdonald, and the others are still alive. Still fighting.”
The girl nodded once, her body moving with mechanical precision. She rose to her feet, her trembling gone, her terror erased as though it had never been written into her bones, and apparated away.
Regulus walked out of the manor, his skin burning from within, though the air was cold around him. The taste of dark spells still lingered in his veins, corrosive and heavy.
“You’re a long way from the forest, Black,” someone spoke, and Regulus raised his eyes to see that five masked Death Eaters were standing in front of him.
“You,” one of the Death Eaters spoke, stepping forward. His voice was dripping with dark amusement. “The Dark Lord has taken quite an interest in you. Now I see why.”
Regulus stilled, taking in the group with the clinical gaze of someone appraising a chessboard. It was no surprise they’d come. Death Eaters were like rabid dogs—it was enough for one to feel the scent of blood and the rest followed with mindless hunger. And this pack? He knew exactly whose leash tugged them.
“Bellatrix’ lot,” Regulus murmured, voice dripping with disdain. “Of course.” His eyes flicked over them, cataloguing the details: the missing fingers here, a crooked wrist there. His deranged cousin made a habit of cutting one finger at a time whenever one of her disciples displeased her. And she was a very hard to please woman.
“Tell me, did she carve those souvenirs herself? One finger at a time, I imagine. She’s always been so… meticulous.”
“You should treat her with respect,” one of them barked.
“Respect?” Regulus’ laugh was sharp, cruel, and hollow. “Is that what you call it? I’d call it grovelling. But I suppose licking her boots must be preferable to losing your tongue, hm?”
The group shifted, restless at his insolence. Their fingers twitched on their wands, and their breathing turned sharp and hot behind the silver masks.
“Oh, so this is why you’re here? Did you all wake up before sunrise to come here and kill everybody so that you could show him how incompetent I am? Touching, really.” Regulus waved his hand, dismissing them. “Run along mutts, I don’t play nicely when I am in a hurry.”
One Death Eater surged forward, wand slashing through the air. “CRUC—”
He never finished.
“Avada Kedavra.”
The killing curse left Regulus’ lips in a whisper, effortless, and the man dropped mid-syllable, body hitting the ground with a sickening thud.
Silence crackled in the air, thick and charged. The other four froze, the reality of what just happened slicing through their bravado like ice.
“Anyone else?” Regulus asked softly, voice edged with contempt. “Or do you need a moment to reconsider your life choices?”
That broke them. The four lunged as one, spells flying, green and red light colliding.
Regulus moved like a blade unsheathed, wand cutting arcs through the air with merciless precision. A shield charm flared, silver and white, absorbing their curses in a flash. He stepped sideways, flicked his wrist, and a body burst into flames, the scream muffled by the mask before it went silent.
“Stupefy! Confringo!” another howled—
“Too slow,” Regulus muttered, wand whipping. “Sectumsempra.”
The spell carved through the man’s chest, blood spraying as he staggered, gargling, before crumpling into the grass.
Ah, he should’ve thanked Severus for teaching him that one.
Two left. They circled him like cornered wolves, desperation now outstripping bravado.
“You don’t want to do this—” one began, but his voice cracked, the lie obvious.
Regulus’ smile was vicious.
“Oh, but I do.” His wand slashed again. “Bombarda.”
The explosion tore the ground beneath them, throwing both men off their feet. One scrambled up, only to meet another whispered curse, and fell lifeless in the dirt.
The last one, trembling, mask cracked from the blast, dropped his wand entirely. He fell to his knees, hands raised.
“Mercy—”
“Mercy?” Regulus stepped closer, looming over him, his shadow long and cold. “If you wanted mercy, you should have thought twice before taking that mask.” His wand tipped forward. “Avada Kedavra.”
Green light, another body.
Silence.
The smell of burned flesh still hung heavy in the air when three cracks of Apparition split the silence. Barty, Evan, and Rabastan materialized just beyond the treeline, wands half-raised, but froze when they saw the carnage scattered across the ground.
“Well,” Rabastan whistled low, hands braced on his hips as he took in the five corpses, “slap my ass and call me naughty. You had yourself a field day, Reg.”
Barty’s head snapped toward him with the sharpness of a blade.
“What the actual fuck, Rab? That’s your first choice of words? Out of everything?”
Rabastan only shrugged, grinning.
“What, too much? You have to admit; it paints a picture.”
“Yeah,” Barty muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, “a picture of why you should never be allowed to talk first.”
Evan ignored them both, approaching one of the bodies. He prodded it lazily with the toe of his boot, rolling the corpse enough to see the cracked mask and the ruined face beneath. His lips twisted.
“Alright, I’ll bite—what did you do, Reggie? Forget to send out party invitations?”
Regulus, who was still standing in the middle of the carnage like it was nothing more than an inconvenience, brushed some invisible lint from his sleeve.
“Oh, you know. Took a walk, met some acquaintances, had a disagreement. Standard morning.”
Barty tilted his head, eyeing the corpses.
“Are those part of Bellatrix’ little kennel?”
“Yep,” Regulus’ popped the word. “Seems like my lovely cousin decided to send out her dogs for a morning jog. Shame they all broke their legs on the way here.”
Evan straightened, arching a brow.
“You sure it was her? Could’ve just been a bunch of overzealous idiots trying to prove themselves.”
Regulus pointed his chin toward the bodies.
“Missing fingers. That’s her signature. No one else carves people up like she’s whittling furniture.”
“I did it once,” Barty interjected suddenly, raising a finger. “Cut off a bloke’s finger during the first trial.”
Rabastan groaned.
“Of course, you did. And let me guess—you kept it.”
Barty’s eyes gleamed.
“Naturally. Lucky charm.” He fished in his pocket and, with great ceremony, pulled out something small, dark, and shrivelled. “Look.”
Regulus blinked.
“Merlin’s balls, Barty, is that a—”
“It’s a finger,” Barty confirmed proudly, holding it up between thumb and forefinger like a prized jewel. “Technically, half a finger. The rest… decomposed. But look at it! Good texture. Almost like a raisin.”
“I told you to throw that shit,” Evan grumbled, and Rabastan made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and actually took a step back.
“That is the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”
Barty’s grin only widened.
“It’s practical. Never lost a duel since I pocketed it. And you lot laughed at me—‘oh, Barty, don’t carry body parts around. Barty, you’re sick in the head.’ Well, who’s laughing now?”
“I’m not,” Rabastan muttered. “I’m actively gagging. Put it away before I hex you, Crouch.”
Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling through his teeth.
“Do you… always keep that with you, Barty?”
Barty opened his mouth to speak, and Regulus gave him a long look, then held up a hand.
“Actually, no. Don’t answer that. I regret asking.”
“Raisin-finger aside,” Evan said dryly, nudging another corpse, “are we just going to stand here making jokes while your cousin keeps sharpening knives somewhere? Or are we going to talk about why you decided to fight an entire pack alone instead of, say, waiting ten bloody minutes for us?”
Regulus arched a brow, mouth curving in a faint smirk.
“Would you prefer I’d left them for you? Thought I’d do you a kindness. Besides, you take forever to show up.”
Rabastan grinned wickedly.
“Translation: he didn’t trust us to clean up this nicely. Look at it, five neat bodies, evenly spaced, not a drop of blood on him. It’s like art.”
Barty muttered, “I still would’ve liked to throw at least one curse. Selfish bastard.”
Regulus’s lips curved sharply.
“Next time I’ll leave you the scraps. You can add another finger to your collection.”
Barty immediately brightened, holding up the shriveled one like a toast.
“Deal.”
Another crack cut the air, and Cassiopeia apparated beside them, elegant as ever, her robes pristine despite the fact that she had walked around the forest for the last half an hour.
Her eyes swept around the group, then the carnage.
“Well,” she said cooly, raising her nose a little like she just smelled something foul, “that is unfortunate. No sign of the twins, I take it?”
Evan inclined his head slightly.
“None. Either they slipped past us, or they were never here in the first place.”
“Did you find anything around?” Regulus looked at her.
Cassiopeia sniffed, stepping closer to examine the scene.
“Found another building, but it was empty. Enough dust to cover months of abandonment. Left behind a little something in case someone returns. Hm, clean as ever,” she threw Regulus a look over her shoulder.
“Brilliant,” Rabastan muttered, kicking lightly at one of the corpses. “So, we came all this way, lost our beauty sleep, and slaughtered the local wildlife for nothing. Now what? We march back to His Lordship empty-handed and line up to be Nagini’s next meal?”
“I imagine she’d choke on you, Lestrange. Too much gristle” Cassiopeia gave him a thin smile.
Regulus scanned the corpses.
“Not necessarily,” he murmured, and Evan folded his arms.
“I know that tone, Reg. The last time you started with ‘not necessarily’, we ended up neck-deep in some random shit.”
Barty perked up, grinning with dangerous amusement.
“Ooh, here it comes. Please say it involves fire. I like it when it involves fire.”
Cassiopeia’s eyes narrowed, assessing him with the quiet intensity of a hawk.
“You plan to turn this disaster into leverage, don’t you?”
“Of course,” Regulus said smoothly, almost insulted she had to ask. “Why waste perfectly good corpses? Bellatrix’ dogs attacked me. I defended myself. And because of her little play, the twins escaped.”
“And what do we do with the bodies?” Evan asked, raising a skeptical brow.
“We display them,” Regulus said calmly, as though discussing table settings. “Somewhere they’ll be found quickly. Send a message.”
“Fuck me,” Rabastan muttered, dragging a hand down his face. “That’s not just poking the dragon, that’s climbing inside its bloody nest and painting a target on your arse.”
Cassiopeia’s lips curved in the faintest smirk, though her eyes remained flinty.
“You’ve grown bolder, Regulus. Or more reckless.”
“Call it survival,” he replied evenly. “We bring back nothing; we’re weak. We bring back corpses; we’re efficient. We turn Bellatrix’ own game against her, and suddenly it’s not me the Dark Lord questions, but her.”
Evan let out a low whistle.
“And if she finds out?”
“She will,” Regulus agreed softly, his smile like a blade. “But by then, the damage will already be done. Perception is everything.”
Barty clapped his hands together once.
“Well, there you have it. Plan’s set. Five corpses, one message, and a nice, fat serving of badblood. What could possibly go wrong?”
Rabastan stared at him.
“Do you hear yourself?”
“Constantly,” Barty said, smug. “I’m delightful.”
Cassiopeia ignored the bickering, her gaze locked on Regulus.
“Very well. If you’re going to play this game, do it properly. I’ll make certain word spreads in the right ears. But understand this, Regulus. Once you pit yourself against Bellatrix, you don’t get to falter. One misstep, and she’ll carve your skin from your bones.”
Regulus inclined his head, unfazed.
“Good thing I don’t misstep.”
The silence that followed was broken only by the quiet rustle of the wind through the trees and the faint, morbid creak as Barty poked one of the corpses with his wand, muttering, “Now, about that fire…”
Chapter 38: Language of pain
Summary:
“Farewell”- Johannes Lehniger, Sebastian Damerius
Notes:
Normally, I should’ve posted this chapter tomorrow, but since AO3 is about to go full sleeping beauty aaand I already had this chapter sitting in drafts, waiting like a neglected house-elf… here you go 😌
Please don’t hate me or my boys too much
Chapter Text
Regulus sat at the long, imposing wooden table, surrounded by Death Eaters who murmured among themselves. The air was thick with tension as they waited for Lord Voldemort to arrive. His gaze was steady, though he felt Lucius Malfoy’s piercing stare from across the table, as if trying to dissect him with his eyes. He ignored him, focusing instead on the dull hum of chatter that filled the room.
Evan leaned in close, his breath brushing against his ear.
“You alright?” he whispered, his voice soft, a thread of concern weaving through his words.
Regulus smirked, his eyes drifting toward two witches who had been whispering, their gossip abruptly halted as his gaze landed on them.
“Never been better,” he replied, his voice low but firm, causing the witches to quickly avert their eyes.
The scrape of a chair interrupted their conversation.
“Quite chatty today, I see.”
Alecto Carrow plopped into the seat next to Regulus with an exaggerated sigh, taking a long sip from her goblet.
Evan’s lips curled instantly. He didn’t even bother to hide the disgust that passed over his face.
Everyone knew he despised her. Alecto and her brother had been the first to brand themselves with the Mark, strutting around the common room in their school days, barking orders like petty tyrants. Regulus still remembered clearing a corridor one night in his fifth year so that Barty could hex Amycus within an inch of his life for tormenting a first-year. The perks of being a Prefect.
“Morning, Alecto,” Regulus greeted her with a wry smile. “It’s been a while.”
“Circe’s tits, don’t remind me.” She scoffed, tossing her hair back with exaggerated flair. “My bloody father dragged me up north to visit relatives in Scotland. Two months surrounded by braying idiots and sheep. Absolute hell.”
Not that he really asked, nor cared. But Alecto was daft enough that he could play her like a harp if he wished. And judging by the way she was already leaning toward him, wine-slick lips curving in what she thought was a sultry smile, he had the upper hand.
Barty chuckled beside Regulus, leaning back in his chair.
“Do I sense a wedding in the air? Another Carrow marriage on the horizon?” His grin was teasing, and Alecto shot him a murderous glare. “I’m sure you have a few cousins lined up.”
“Shut up, Crouch,” she growled, and Regulus couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.
She leaned closer to Regulus, her hand brushing deliberately against his sleeve as if to erase the insult by ignoring it.
“You’ve grown up, Regulus,” she purred, lowering her voice. “Not the scrawny little boy I remember. Tall. Brooding. Handsome in that dangerous sort of way.” Her eyes raked openly over him, not caring who saw.
Regulus arched a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.
“Dangerous?” he echoed dryly. “I’ll take that as a compliment, though coming from you, it could just mean you think I bite.”
Her grin widened.
“Maybe I’d like it if you did.”
Evan choked into his goblet, coughing violently as though the wine had turned to poison. Barty thumped him on the back half-heartedly, smirking like Christmas had come early.
“Oh, please,” Evan muttered hoarsely. “This is revolting. Don’t encourage her, Reg.”
But Alecto ignored him, placing her elbow on the table so she could lean even closer, close enough that her perfume, cloying and over-sweet, wrapped around him.
“We could be… useful to each other,” she murmured, her tone dripping with implication. “Powerful families. Strong bloodlines. You don’t think our Lord would approve of that kind of union?”
Barty barked a laugh loud enough to turn a few heads down the table.
“Merlin’s balls, Alecto, you’re practically drooling on him. Do you want me to fetch you a bib?”
Her eyes narrowed dangerously.
“Keep talking, Crouch, and I’ll hex that smug grin off your face.”
Before Regulus could respond, or Barty could fire off another wicked barb, the temperature in the room dropped. A wave of crushing, suffocating presence spilled across the chamber like poison.
The room fell deathly silent. Every rustle of fabric, every scrape of chair ceased as though smothered. Heads bowed in unison, like wheat under a gale. The only sound left was the faint hiss of air as the Dark Lord apparated into the centre of the room.
Regulus lowered his head with the rest, his long lashes shadowing his sharp eyes, though his mind remained alert.
Voldemort seated himself at the head of the table, moving with the languid grace of a serpent coiling to strike. His snake-like face was eerily impassive, but his crimson eyes sliced through the room like blades, pausing long enough on each of them to peel flesh from bone in silence.
A procession of Muggles entered, their wrists shackled, their expressions vacant as they carried platters of food and wine to the table. Bellatrix yanked on a chain connected to one of the Muggles, a young woman, pulling her closer and using her wand to burn her arm while the girl tried not to spill a drop of wine. Rabastan, meanwhile, simply waved a servant away with a flick of his hand.
“I have called you here,” Voldemort began, his voice a chilling monotone, “to address… an incident from this morning.”
The stillness fractured. A ripple of murmurs broke the silence, Death Eaters shifting uneasily, whispers slithering through the chamber like rats in the walls.
Voldemort leaned back, long pale fingers drumming against the table. The sound echoed unnaturally loud, each tap a drumbeat of dread.
“Mathias Slate, Archibald Peterson, and three other Death Eaters have been found dead.”
A low buzzing filled Regulus’ ears. Around him, the whispers grew louder, rising like a swarm of hornets stirred from their nest. Betrayal. Treachery. Punishment. The air thickened until the very walls seemed to close in.
“Cassiopeia Selwyn, come closer,” Lord Voldemort said, and Regulus felt as if the ground beneath him had shifted. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat louder than the last, as Cassiopeia slowly rose from her seat.
“Yes, my Lord?” her voice, steady but low, echoed in the tense silence of the room.
Voldemort tilted his head, his cold, serpentine gaze fixed on the woman.
“Care to explain how this happened?” he asked, his tone deceptively calm, a trap hidden beneath every syllable. “This,” he gestured lazily “happened during your mission.”
Cassiopeia’s lips parted. She inhaled, readying an answer—
“It was me, my Lord,” Regulus said, standing tall, raising his chin with the defiance only a Black could summon. “I was the one who killed them.”
Cassiopeia’s eyes widened in horror, her breath catching in her throat. She shook her head slowly, as if trying to will the moment away, to make it disappear.
“My Lord—” she began, her voice thick with panic.
Voldemort raised his hand, silencing her without a word.
“Regulus,” he purred, his voice sending shivers down his spine. He moved toward him, his steps smooth and soundless, his presence suffocating. The chair behind him flew across the room with a flick of his wrist, shattering against the stone wall.
Voldemort leaned in closer, his breath icy against his ear.
“And why,” he whispered, every word a coil of venom, “would you do that?”
The silence was absolute. Even Bellatrix’ manic grin faltered.
Regulus swallowed, but his eyes remained unflinching, his voice steady despite the chill wrapping around his throat.
“Why don’t you ask Bellatrix,” he said evenly, “why her dogs were there in the first place, my Lord?”
For a moment, nothing moved. The world seemed balanced on the edge of a knife. Then Voldemort’s hand, skeletal and white as bone, rose and brushed against Regulus’ temple. His jaw tightened, every instinct screaming to resist, but he forced himself to stay open, not to fight. Resisting would be as good as a confession. His mind’s walls trembled as the Dark Lord’s consciousness pierced through, cold and invasive, slithering into the recesses of memory.
Images flickered across his thoughts like lightning: five Death Eaters stepping from the shadows, circling him like wolves; spells flying, too many at once, burning through his veins as he fought for his life.
He let Voldemort see it all: that he hadn’t hunted them, hadn’t lured them, but had been cornered—forced. Every green flash, every fallen body, he replayed with brutal honesty.
But Regulus did not show the girl. That memory was well hidden behind countless layers of wards.
The pressure released, and Voldemort stepped back, his red eyes narrowing, calculating.
“You speak the truth,” Voldemort murmured, his voice cold silk. “You did not seek them. They sought… you.”
A ripple of murmurs ran through the table. Bellatrix shot to her feet instantly, her face pale beneath the wild gleam of her eyes.
“My Lord!” she gasped, words tumbling over each other in a torrent. “I knew nothing of this! I gave no order, I swear it! They were reckless fools, every one of them! They acted without my command, without my knowledge—”
Her voice cracked, uncharacteristically shrill, and she slammed a fist against her chest.
“My loyalty has never wavered. Not once, not ever. Since the moment I took the Mark, I have given you my life, my soul, my every breath. You know this, my Lord, you know! They shamed me with their stupidity. They dishonoured me—”
Voldemort’s gaze did not flicker. He only watched her, patient as a viper watching prey squirm in its coils.
“They were overzealous!” Bellatrix pressed on, words spilling like blood from a wound. “They wanted to prove themselves, to prove their worth to you. They thought by acting swiftly they could win glory, my Lord, but they were fools, untrained, unworthy of your name! I would never act without your will, never dare! I—”
Her voice broke into a half-sob, though her face twisted with manic fervor.
“Everything that I am, everything I love, belongs to you. I live for you, my Lord. I kill for you. I burn for you.”
“Enough.”
The single word sliced her rambling to ribbons. Bellatrix froze, her chest heaving, her eyes wild and glistening.
Voldemort rose to his full height, his presence pressing down on everybody in the chamber.
“You disappoint me, Bellatrix,” he said softly. The softness was worse than shouting, worse than rage.
She shook her head violently, stumbling forward on her knees.
“No—no, my Lord, I beg you. Do not doubt me! Punish me if you must, curse me, scar me—I will thank you for it, but do not doubt my loyalty. Do not—”
The Dark Lord raised his wand.
“Crucio.”
Her scream ripped through the chamber, shrill and ragged, echoing off stone walls. She writhed on the ground, her body contorting as invisible fire licked through her veins. Her nails scraped bloody lines into the floor, her hair tangling across her face as she choked on her own breath.
The others kept their eyes fixed firmly on the table. Not one dared to move. Not one dared to blink.
Regulus forced himself to keep his face impassive, though his stomach twisted.
Finally, Voldemort lowered his wand. Bellatrix collapsed into a heap, panting, broken laughter bubbling weakly through her throat as she dragged herself upright on trembling arms.
“Thank you, my Lord,” she croaked, her voice hoarse but feverish. “Thank you… for reminding me.”
Voldemort’s gaze slid from her crumpled form back to Regulus. The silence returned, heavier than before.
“Despite the events,” Voldemort said at last, “you have failed to bring me what I have requested, nor come to me with the truth.” His crimson eyes narrowed, glittering with cruel delight. “That can’t go unpunished.”
“I understand, my Lord,” Regulus replied, his voice steady.
Voldemort’s lips twitched upward, not quite a smile, more a flicker of satisfaction at the control he held.
“Go and stand in the centre of the table.”
For the briefest of moments, Regulus hesitated. He could feel Lucius’ cold stare on his left, Barty’s tense energy on his right, Evan’s sharp intake of breath behind him. He swallowed once, then climbed onto his chair and stepped up onto the long wooden table. The dishes rattled faintly under his boots. His heart hammered in his chest, but his chin stayed high, his back straight, as though daring anyone to see him falter.
“Cassiopeia Selwyn, step forward,” Voldemort commanded.
Cassiopeia froze, and color drained from her face as her name slithered through the chamber. She darted a glance at Regulus, fear and a silent apology flashing across her eyes, before forcing her feet to move. Her heels clicked against the stone floor, each step heavier than the last.
“Am I first to be punished, my lord?” she asked, her voice quiet, hoping that somehow, someway, she might avoid the inevitable.
The Dark Lord tilted his head, studying her like a spider studying a trembling fly.
“No, my dear Cassiopeia. You will not receive punishment. You will deliver it.”
Her eyes widened in horror.
“My Lord?”
“You will cast the Cruciatus Curse on young Black,” Voldemort said smoothly, venom curling in each word. “He has disobeyed. You have failed. Let this… lesson…” he let the word linger, heavy, “…be shared between you.”
The words hit her like a physical blow. Her mouth went dry, her hands shook at her sides.
“Why me, my Lord?” she whispered, desperation bleeding through her voice.
“It seems only fitting,” Voldemort replied, his tone soft but deadly. “He deserves punishment for his disobedience, and who better to administer it than the one who failed to guide him?”
“But—” She began, her throat tightening.
“Do not argue, Selwyn,” Regulus interrupted, his voice calm yet firm. He looked down at her from his elevated position, his eyes meeting hers with unwavering determination. “The Dark Lord has spoken. I will take what is mine to bear.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed the lump in her throat. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she raised her wand. Her hand shook, her body trembling with the weight of what she was about to do.
‘Crucio!’ she shouted, her voice cracking as the curse left his wand.
The curse slammed into him like fire poured into his veins. His back arched violently, every muscle seizing at once. His knees buckled and hit the wood with a crack, but he refused to cry out. His teeth dug so hard into his lip he tasted iron, but still he held it, choking down the scream that clawed at his throat. His hands clawed the table, fingers splintering the wood beneath them as his body writhed, jerking with each wave of agony.
It’s been years since someone used this curse on him, but his body remembered it with cruel precision. The moment the spell hit, his muscles seized in recognition, like a creature greeting its master. It felt almost familiar—as if meeting a long-lost friend who had never really been gone at all, only waiting for the chance to embrace him again.
His mind screamed against it, but his body remembered, oh, it remembered too well. The endless drills of “resistance training” when he was still a boy, when Bellatrix thought it amusing to “toughen him up.” The way she had laughed the first time she showed him what it truly meant to have one’s nerves shredded from the inside out. The way he’d vomited after, shaking for hours, and she’d only sneered, calling him “weak.”
He had sworn, back then, never to give her the satisfaction of hearing him scream again. And he hadn’t. Not once.
Voldemort’s cold, piercing eyes remained fixed on the scene before him, watching with sick satisfaction.
Regulus collapsed forward, cheek pressed against the table, sweat beading his pale face. His chest heaved, dragging in ragged, shallow breaths. He looked broken, but slowly, deliberately, he raised his head and met Cassiopeia’s horrified gaze. His lip was bloodied, his body trembled, but his eyes were steady. Defiant.
Cassiopeia’s wand arm dropped. She looked sick, on the verge of collapse herself.
Then, as though bored with the display, Voldemort’s gaze slid across the table once more.
“Evan Rosier,” he said softly, with the calm that was more dreadful than rage. “Step forward.”
He didn’t remember when or after how many curses he eventually fainted. Time bled together in flashes of red agony and blank nothingness. His body had gone limp long before his mind gave way, his muscles twitching against the wood of the table as though trying to escape themselves.
He remembered Evan’s face through a haze, the reluctant lift of his wand, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Evan’s Cruciatus had been soft, almost apologetic. It wavered, barely scraping the edges of what true pain could be.
That was the thing about the curse. It demanded more than the right words or the proper flick of a wand. It demanded intent. Hunger. Hatred. You had to mean it; otherwise, it faltered, nothing but sparks and cruelty’s shadow.
And then Voldemort had called Barty. Asked him the same thing. And Barty had obeyed. Regulus still remembered the sight of blood trailing down his chin, his jaw locked so tight he thought his teeth would splinter.
Barty’s Cruciatus had hit harder, sharper. Not because he had meant it, never that, but because Barty’s magic was wild, volatile, a storm that didn’t know how to be gentle even if it wanted to.
That was when Regulus understood.
This was no punishment for disobedience. No lesson to remind him of his place. This was a spectacle. A warning dressed as discipline. Voldemort had no interest in punishing him. He wanted to poison the air they breathed, rot their bonds until nothing but suspicion and hunger for survival remained.
It was his way of saying: Your friendships are meaningless here.
In the Dark Lord’s service, there was no space for kindness, no place for loyalty unless it bent back toward him. A Death Eater was not meant to protect, or shield, or hesitate. They were meant to bare their teeth at the first sign of weakness, to cut their friends’ throats before their friends cut theirs. They were meant to thrive on cruelty, to prove their worth in how much they could strip away from others.
In theory, Regulus had always known it. The Dark Mark wasn’t a promise. It was a brand, a reminder that you or your future no longer belonged to yourself. Voldemort didn’t ask for devotion; he demanded the extinction of humanity. Piece by piece, moment by moment, until nothing was left but obedience and fear.
To be a Death Eater meant learning to watch your cousin slice the skin off a screaming man and applaud her skill. It meant pretending the sound of bones cracking was satisfying. It meant calling it power, calling it triumph, when really it was only the slow, methodical slaughter of everything that once made you human.
And this torment on the table was Voldemort’s art. The way he orchestrated cruelty not just to break a body, but to snap the fragile threads tying people together. To take boys like Evan and force them to taste their own corruption. To take Barty, with all his fire and chaos, and bend it into something that burned his closest friends. To take Regulus, the proud Black heir, and remind him that pride meant nothing when your body writhed under someone else’s curse.
It was never about obedience. It was about erasure. About stripping someone down until there was no difference between victim and perpetrator, until the only language left was cruelty.
And in that moment, lying bloodied on the table, Regulus realized what it truly meant to wear the mask:
To survive, you had to become what you despised.
He remembered being lifted from the table, arms hooking beneath his shoulders, dragging him up like a puppet with its strings half-cut. His stomach churned, his bones rattled inside him, and the agony of the curses still lingered, buzzing like fire in his veins.
Somewhere above him, there was a voice calling his name. Sharp at first, then shaking.
“Regulus. Stay awake. You hear me? Don’t you bloody close your eyes.”
It sounded like Rabastan, but there was a note of desperation there that didn’t fit. Rabastan didn’t beg, didn’t plead. His voice was always sardonic, always coated with a thick veneer of amusement even when drenched in blood. But now it cracked, frayed at the edges, trembling with urgency. Something that wasn’t him at all.
And then, another voice. Fainter. Distant. It slid between the cracks of his pain like a whisper through water, distorted and warped, but achingly familiar.
James was calling his name, but it was illogical. James couldn’t be there. He wanted to laugh. Or maybe cry. The sound snagged in his throat and never made it past his lips.
Rabastan’s voice barked something again, closer now, sharp and panicked, but it blurred with James’. They tangled together, indistinguishable, as if his mind couldn’t decide which one was real.
Hands gripped him tighter. The world tilted. His vision flickered black, then white, then black again.
Rabastan burst into the dining room with a loud crack, Regulus limp in his arms, head lolling like a rag doll. Barty and Evan followed a couple of seconds later, both pale and wide-eyed, their faces hollowed out by shock. The moment Evan’s boots hit the floor, his knees buckled and he doubled over, retching so hard it sounded like he was tearing his throat out. Barty staggered, clutching the back of a chair as though the furniture itself was the only thing keeping him upright, his chest heaving as tears spilled unbidden down his cheeks.
"KREACHER!” Rabastan barked, his voice sharp enough to make the walls tremble. The elf popped into existence instantly, his bulging eyes widening at the sight of Regulus’ limp body.
“Bring all the healing potions you can find,” Rabastan snapped, lowering Regulus carefully onto the long dining table. “Essence of Dittany. Blood-Replenisher. Pepper-Up. And a Sleeping Draught—hurry! MOVE, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”
The old elf let out a strangled sound that was halfway between a sob and a squeak. His trembling hands wrung his tea towel as he stumbled backward, then darted for the cabinets as fast as his short legs would allow.
Barty collapsed into the nearest chair as if his legs had been cut from under him. His face was blotchy and wet, streaked with tears that blurred his vision until Regulus was little more than a pale shape on the table. His wand slipped from his fingers and clattered across the floorboards, forgotten. He didn’t even flinch at the sound. His whole body shook with every breath, shallow, ragged, unsteady, as if the grief itself had hollowed him out. He looked like he might shatter entirely if someone so much as breathed on him—like he was made of glass and grief and nothing else. His hands pressed against his knees so hard they left marks, a desperate attempt to ground himself.
Evan was no better. Pale as parchment, lips bloodless, he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, but the gesture did nothing to hide the tremor in his fingers. His hands wouldn’t still, betraying the fear he couldn’t voice. He stared at Regulus like he was staring at a corpse, his chest heaving, shallow and frantic. He had seen death before, had caused it before, but this was different. This was Regulus, their Regulus, and he couldn’t stop the bile that rose in his throat. His stomach lurched violently, and he swallowed hard against it, the sleeve of his robe still pressed to his mouth like a child trying not to cry.
Regulus lay motionless on the table, skin waxen and too still, lips split and bruised. His lashes cast shadows over his hollowed cheeks, but the faint tremors that ran through his body betrayed that he was still there, still fighting somewhere beneath the ruin. His chest rose and fell shallowly, each breath a rattle that scraped through the silence and made every second unbearable.
Rabastan’s jaw clenched. He pressed a hand to Regulus’ pulse.
“Don’t you dare, Reg,” he muttered under his breath, fierce and low. “Don’t you bloody dare—just hang on, hang on, hang on—until—until Potter—fuck, not Potter, not him—”
Potter couldn’t know. If Potter saw Regulus like this, he would never forgive them. None of them. And yet, somewhere beneath that fear, was the more unbearable thought: if Potter saw Regulus like this, maybe Regulus wouldn’t forgive himself.
He was shaking Regulus’ shoulder before he even realized it, then smoothing his hair back in a trembling, almost parental gesture. None of it made sense. None of it helped.
A door creaked open, light spilling into the dining room.
Rabastan froze. His head jerked up, eyes wide, a flash of naked terror passing over his face. His hands never left Regulus’ chest, clutching at him like he could shield him from sight, hide the bruises and the tremors with his palms.
“Love? When did you—”
Evan stopped breathing. His hand stilled halfway through wiping his mouth, sleeve stained with spit and bile. He looked like a man caught with blood on his hands.
Barty’s breath hitched audibly, sharp and broken, his shoulders jerking as though someone had dumped ice water down his spine. He didn’t dare look at James. He couldn’t. His eyes darted helplessly to the floor, to Regulus, anywhere but that doorway where everything they feared now stood.
James Potter stepped into the living room, hair dishevelled, glasses catching the light. His brows knitted together as his gaze swept over the room, the toppled chair, Evan’s sick on the floor, the sight of Regulus stretched out on the table like a corpse laid for burial.
For a moment, James simply stopped breathing.
His fingers found the doorframe and clenched so hard the wood complained beneath him. His whole body was trembling, a quake running up from his knees, and the small sound that crawled out of his throat was neither a word nor a breath but something raw and strangled — an animal noise folded into a human voice.
“No.” The sound tore loose, splintered. “No, no, no—fuck, no. Reggie—This…” His voice cracked, barely audible. “This isn’t—this isn’t real.”
He took a single step forward, hesitant, as if afraid the entire scene would vanish if he moved too quickly, or worse, that it wouldn’t.
“Regulus?” James tried again, louder this time, though his voice wavered like a boy on the edge of breaking.
The room seemed to tilt, every eye snapping to him, but all James saw was the body on the table.
And then he froze, rooted in place, because it hit him all at once that this wasn’t a dream.
James’ chest heaved once, twice, then he moved.
With a sound that was closer to an animal’s snarl than a man’s voice, he stormed forward. His shoulder slammed into Rabastan’s side, shoving him hard enough that the Lestrange staggered backward, nearly toppling over the chair.
“Get away from him!” James bellowed, planting himself between Rabastan and Regulus’ body. His hands trembled as he leaned over, brushing his fingers against Regulus’ sweat-slick skin, desperate for proof that he wasn’t gone.
Rabastan snarled, recovering, but held his ground.
“Potter—”
“What did you do to him?!” he barked, the sound tearing out of him high and jagged. The words weren’t a question; they were a demand for an answer that could not possibly be true and yet must be heard. “What the fuck did you do?!”
Rabastan spat something about Voldemort, about orders, but James couldn’t hear—his ears were full of a roaring tide, drowning out everything but Regulus’ broken body. His wand was suddenly in his hand, his knuckles bone-white around it, the tip sparking like lightning straining to be unleashed.
“You lying piece of shit,” he hissed, voice suddenly low and venomous, so close it was almost a whisper. “Tell me what really happened, or I’ll kill you all where you stand.” His knuckles were white on the handle, magic thrumming so violently through him that it made the air crackle.
The chandelier above them trembled as if the house itself was listening for what would come next. Barty rose slowly, a soundless, small motion, hands half-raised as if to plead, as if to steady the storm.
“Potter, don’t—”
“SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!” James snapped, swinging his wand toward him. “You think I won’t do it? After what you’ve done?”
For a beat, the room was frozen in the pressure of that threat. They all saw it then — not just the fury, but the fracture. Something in James had broken and re-set itself into something implacable. He did not sparkle with boyish rage; he was bone and consequence now. The old James, the bright, careless one who joked and dared, had been smelted down and gone.
Everyone in the living room saw the same thing they had always feared. That James could become something awful when the ones he loved were threatened. And now, that boundary between love and violence had thinned like ice.
“James!”
Lily’s voice rang from the hallway as she burst into the room, her hair flying around her shoulders. She stopped dead at the sight of Regulus on the table, her breath catching, but then her eyes went immediately to James, his wand shaking, his body vibrating with rage.
“James, put the wand down,” she said firmly, moving toward him, her palm outstretched. “This isn’t the way—”
“The hell it isn’t!” James barked, not even looking at her. His wild gaze was locked on Rabastan. “They did this to him. They brought him back like this. I swear to Merlin, Lily—I’ll end them all before I let them hurt him again.”
Lily’s voice softened, though urgency throbbed underneath.
“Listen to me—look at me, James. They wouldn’t hurt Reggie. You know this.”
But James couldn’t hear her. Couldn’t see her.
Grief was a tidal wave, and it had swallowed him whole.
Mary slipped in from behind Lily, her eyes immediately widening at the sight of Regulus. She didn’t waste a second. She darted past the standoff, straight to the table, where Kreacher had already laid out a collection of vials. Her fingers flew, uncorking bottles, muttering under her breath as she poured a measure of Blood-Replenisher between Regulus’ cracked lips, steadying his head so he wouldn’t choke.
“Come on, Black,” she whispered urgently. “Stay with me. You’re not dying here.”
But even as she worked, her face had gone hard, an ugly knowledge settling in: she could mend flesh and mend blood, but she could not mend what had been done to the soul.
But James—James was gone with fury. His magic blistered in the air, wild and untamed, rattling the floorboards. His voice came out ragged, a curse, a vow carved in blood.
“If he dies,” James whispered, eyes locked on Rabastan, wet with tears that refused to fall. “If he dies, I’ll bring this whole fucking world down on your heads.”
Barty took a cautious step forward.
“Potter, listen—”
“Take one more step and I’ll tear you apart!” James thundered. His magic surged so violently the chandelier overhead rattled, shards of glass showering down as the bulbs blew with sharp, crackling pops. The air itself seemed to scream with him, trembling with raw, untamed fury.
Lily pressed her palm to his chest, her eyes blazing as she forced him to look at her.
“James! He’s breathing. Mary’s with him. You need to stop, right now, or you’ll lose him in a different way.”
For a split second, James’ wand hand wavered. His eyes darted from Lily’s fiery gaze to Regulus’ faintly trembling chest, to Mary’s frantic movements as she forced another potion down his throat. But the pause didn’t last. The storm inside him was too vast, too consuming.
Lily’s voice cut through the chaos, sharp and demanding.
“What happened?”
Barty swallowed hard, his usually sharp tongue thick with something James had never heard before.
Shame.
“It was Voldemort,” he said, his voice hoarse. “He… he made us cast Crucio on him. All of us. Over and over until he collapsed.”
The room inhaled. Lily’s mouth fell open; the color drained from her cheeks. For a heartbeat, she might have thought it a lie, some cursed dodge, but the tremor in Barty’s hands and the way Rabastan’s jaw worked like a man trying to hold his face together said otherwise.
“You… what?” Her voice cracked. “You tortured him?”
James didn’t think. He didn’t breathe. His body moved on instinct, on rage so pure it hollowed him out. He lunged, seized Barty by the robes, and slammed him back against the wall with such brutal force the portraits clattered and screamed in protest.
“Tell me this is one of your sick bloody jokes, Crouch,” James spat, his voice breaking with fury. His wand clattered to the floor as his other hand twisted in the fabric, holding Barty up by his collar. “Tell me you didn’t touch him. Tell me you didn’t cast that curse on him!”
Barty wheezed, eyes bulging, but James didn’t loosen his grip. He shook him violently, slamming him against the wall hard enough that dust rained from the cracks.
“ANSWER ME!” James bellowed, spittle flying, his face red, veins bulging at his temples. His voice was ragged, shredded by grief and rage.
Barty choked out.
“I—he—Potter, you don’t understand—”
“I understand enough!” James roared. The sound was broken.
“You hurt him! You put your wand on him—you tortured him until he broke! And you stand there like nothing happened?!” His voice cracked again, high and raw. “He's my—”
His chest heaved. His teeth ground audibly as tears finally blurred his vision.
“I know,” Barty whispered, strangled, his own eyes brimming. “I know, James.” His voice quavered, ruined. “But we were ordered. He killed five Death Eaters this morning—Slate, Peterson, the rest. Voldemort was furious. He—he wanted to make an example. We—” The words crumpled into a sob. “We are sorry.”
The apology did not land. It shattered. The rage was no longer only about the act; it was a deeper, blacker thing: betrayal by the people who had been a makeshift family, a net that turned out to have holes.
The fury curdled into something worse. The helpless, corrosive knowledge that the ones he trusted could do this to someone he loved.
“So what?! That’s your excuse?” He shoved Barty harder against the wall, so hard that plaster cracked. “He killed those monsters, and you lot decided to destroy him for it? That’s your logic?!”
He had the impulse to rend and to kill, then to curl and die. He wanted to rip answers from their throats and throw himself across Regulus’ chest and never move again.
“James!” Lily cried, her voice shaking now, but he didn’t hear her.
He was gone. Consumed.
His grip twisted tighter on Barty’s robes until his knuckles turned white. His eyes were wild, bloodshot, burning holes straight through the man pinned beneath him.
“You put your wand on him, Crouch. You hurt him. You listened to that snake-faced bastard and you hurt him.” His voice dropped, dangerous now, cold and sharp. “Do you have any idea what I’ll do to you if he doesn’t wake up? If he dies because of you?”
Barty didn’t answer. Couldn’t. His lips opened, useless, his body slack as if he already knew resistance was pointless. He stared at James like a man staring into the maw of a beast, waiting to be ripped apart.
“James, stop!” Lily pleaded again, grabbing his arm, trying to wrench him back, but James’ muscles locked like stone. He was shaking all over, with fury, with grief, with the unbearable weight of seeing Regulus’ body broken on the table behind him.
“I need him calm, Lily. I can’t do this with James tearing the place apart!” Mary’s voice called from that same table.
But James couldn’t hear any of it. There was only one truth that mattered now: someone had hurt Regulus, and the people who stood in that room had either done it, or let it happen, and both possibilities tasted like poison.
His grip trembled on Barty’s collar, not from weakness, but from the sheer effort of not snapping his neck right there and be done with it.
Evan’s hand went up hesitantly, as if raising it might somehow calm the storm. His voice was low, careful.
“Should we… call Sirius? Maybe—”
“No,” Lily snapped immediately, cutting him off like a whip. Her green eyes were hard, unyielding. “It will be worse. Trust me. Sirius would not hesitate to kill you.”
James froze for a heartbeat, his wild eyes locking on Lily, chest heaving, lips trembling with a mix of rage and raw grief.
“Do you… Do you think I care what he’d do?” he spat, his voice cracking. “Do you think I care what anyone would do after what they did to him? After what they put him through?”
Rabastan stepped forward cautiously, both hands raised in surrender, his tone pitched low, almost pleading.
“Potter… listen to me. We’re on the same side here, all of us. You need to calm down, just—just breathe.”
James whirled on him, sudden and violent as a hurricane changing course, his face twisted into something panic-stricken and furious all at once.
“Calm down? Breathe? Look at him! He’s on that fucking table, half alive, and you’re telling me to breathe?!”
Evan shifted uncomfortably to the side, taking a cautious step forward.
“James… he’s alive. He’s going to wake up—”
“You step one inch closer, Rosier,” James growled, his voice a low, dangerous growl that made Evan freeze mid-step, “and I swear I will turn you into ash before you get to raise your wand.”
Evan’s mouth went dry.
“I—I just want to help,” he whispered, voice trembling.
“HELP?!” James barked. “Do you think you can help him? Do you think any of you can undo what you’ve done? You tortured him! And you stand there acting like I am the problem!”
Rabastan moved slightly closer, trying a different tactic.
“James, let Barty go. Just… please. If you touch anyone, if you hurt anyone in your blind fury, you’re going to destroy everything we’ve been trying to protect.”
Those were the words that landed home, but not as Rabastan intended. James felt them as accusation, as calculation. He heard the unspoken ledger — losses versus gains — and it made bile rise in his throat. He felt very close to a person who would burn the ledger and the book and the room if it meant anyone finally paid the price for what they'd done.
“Tell me, Crouch—how will you sleep at night? How will you look at yourself in a mirror knowing your hands—your hands—have caused this?”
Barty gulped, trying to form words, but James shoved him again, harder this time.
“Answer me!”
“I—I didn’t want this, James,” Barty stammered, a child making pleas to the only parent he trusts will not strike. “I… Voldemort forced—”
“Don’t you dare hide behind him,” James snarled, shoving harder, his whole body shaking.
Evan swallowed hard, voice small but firm.
“James… you need to stop. Look at yourself. Look at what you’re doing. He’s bleeding, he’s broken, but you? You’re losing yourself. He wouldn’t want you to turn into this.”
James staggered back slightly, eyes glassy with tears, lips parting in a shaky exhale. His hand still shook, but for the first time, there was a flicker of hesitation. The wild, uncontainable rage mixed with despair was visible in every line of his body.
And in that instant, every single one of them knew that the James Potter they’d always known, the reckless boy with laughter on his lips and fire in his heart, was gone. Something else stood in his place now, something sharpened and hollowed out by grief. He was unrecognizable: a man stripped bare of mercy, a stranger wearing James’ skin with eyes that promised death.
The old James might have blustered, shouted, thrown punches, even hexed, but this James was ready to kill, without hesitation, without regret. The line between him and the enemy had burned away, leaving only a wild, feral thing that would raze the world rather than see Regulus broken.
His breath stuttered out, a ragged exhale. He looked at Regulus, and the room tilted. Every heartbeat was a hammer blow against his ribs, every breath another fracture in the cage of his chest. He let go of Barty, who fell on the floor, and his hands clenched into fists, nails digging until they drew blood. He turned his back and silently walked to the table where he bent over Regulus, eyes fixed on him and nothing else.
“Kreacher,” he whispered, his voice low, ragged, almost foreign, as if the very weight of despair had gutted the man he had been moments ago. “Take the potions to our room.”
“James—” Mary snapped sharply, her voice slicing through the suffocating tension. Her hands went up as if to block him, her eyes blazing with panic and anger. “You can’t be serious. You can’t just—”
“I am serious,” James hissed, teeth clenched, voice so low and dangerous that even Kreacher flinched back. “I am not leaving him on this fucking table like an unburied corpse. I will take him to our room. You can heal him from there, as well.”
Barty, Evan, and Rabastan were frozen a few feet away, uncertainty and fear written across their faces.
“You three,” James’ voice suddenly snapped like a whip, cutting through the room. He pointed his wand, trembling but steady, toward them, eyes blazing. “Do not come near that door. Not one fucking step. I swear to Merlin—one inch closer, and I will kill you where you stand.”
Barty’s mouth opened, then closed again, a strangled sound of protest caught in his throat. “James… we’re trying to help. We can—”
“You will do nothing,” James spat, taking a step closer to them, wand aimed like the blade of an executioner. “Nothing! Do you hear me? You breathe in that corridor, and you’re dead. Understood?”
Evan stepped a cautious foot backward.
“James… we’re not trying to take him from you—”
“I don’t care what your intentions are!” James snapped, voice raw and jagged. “If any of you come near that door, I swear I will—” His wand shook violently, the tip quivering as if it could ignite on its own.
“Okay. Okay, James. We’ll stay here,” Evan raised his palms.
He carried Regulus to their room as though he was made of glass, terrified that the smallest wrong movement might shatter him entirely. When he laid him on the mattress, the sight nearly broke him all over again.
Regulus, his Regulus, lay pale and trembling on their bed. Lily and Mary bent over him, wands and potions working in frantic harmony. Every flick of Lily’s wrist drew golden light over torn skin, every steady movement of Mary’s hands brought a vial to cracked lips.
James couldn’t stop moving. His body vibrated with too much feeling, too much rage, too much grief to contain. He paced, back and forth, back and forth, the floorboards groaning under the restless pound of his boots. The four walls of the bedroom felt like a coffin pressing in around him, suffocating him, whispering in every shadow how close—how fucking close—he’d come to losing the most precious thing in his life.
His breaths came sharp, uneven. He dug his hands into his hair until his scalp burned, his nails scraping, his body begging for a release that never came. Nothing would bleed off what lived inside him.
This was grief, real grief, and it wasn’t the neat kind. Not the kind that flowers and condolences softened, not the quiet ache of funerals where people told you to “be strong.” This was animalistic. A beast with claws hooked into his ribcage, tearing him open from the inside. It left his chest hollow, raw, shrieking in silence.
Every whimper Regulus let out was a blade to James’ sternum. Every shallow inhale was a promise that might break. Every flicker of pain across his face was another reminder of how fragile life was, how easily it could have been stolen from him.
What if I’d been too late?
The love of his life, gone.
James stumbled, catching himself on the dresser with a crash. His palm pressed so hard against the wood that his bones ached. His throat burned with bile, his vision blurred with tears he didn’t even remember forming.
The world wasn’t supposed to work without Regulus in it. The stars wouldn’t shine. The sun wouldn’t rise. Everything James had ever known, every dream, every reckless laugh, every night spent awake holding each other, every plan and promise, it all would have meant nothing if Regulus’ heart had stopped beating tonight.
He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t survive it.
“Please save him. I can’t—” James’ voice cracked out loud, though no one had asked him anything. He dragged his hands over his face, palms trembling. “I can’t… live without him. I can’t…”
Lily looked up briefly, her eyes glassy, but she didn’t speak. She knew, Merlin, she knew, that words wouldn’t reach him. Mary’s hands kept steady, but her jaw clenched as she worked.
James’ pacing grew faster, harsher, almost violent. He knocked into the chair, sending it crashing sideways. He barely noticed. His chest was caving in, and he couldn’t breathe around the sound of Regulus’ faint moans.
“Stay with me,” James whispered, his voice breaking apart. He gripped the back of his own neck, pulling his hair until he thought he’d rip it out by the roots. “Please, love, stay with me. I can’t… I can’t do this without you. I can’t—”
His knees nearly buckled, but he kept moving. If he stopped, he’d shatter. If he stopped, he’d crumble into the pieces of the man he’d been before Regulus loved him, and he’d never find his way back.
James’ pacing broke when he heard it. Soft, hoarse, almost too faint to be real.
“…James…”
His name. Regulus’ voice. Fragile, barely carried past cracked lips, but enough to stop James’ entire world. A hand twitched against the sheets, as though searching for him.
James crossed the room in a single heartbeat. He fell to his knees beside the bed, the floor biting into him, but he didn’t care. He caught Regulus’ hand, clutching it to his mouth, kissing it, sobbing into the knuckles like it was the last relic of something holy. He pressed it to his face as though he could inhale life through touch.
“I’m here, love.” His words splintered into a sob, his forehead pressing into the back of Regulus’ hand. “Don’t you fucking dare leave me. Do you hear me? I can’t—I can’t breathe without you, I can’t—”
But Regulus was drifting away again.
James broke. Completely, utterly broke. His sobs tore out of him, ragged and choking, as though his body had been holding them back for years. He pressed his face against Regulus’ chest, careful of the bruises, but needing the proof that he was still there. The rise and fall, the faint heartbeat beneath battered ribs.
“Please come back,” James gasped, words tumbling out in frantic repetition, muffled against Regulus’ skin. “I am begging you, Reg. Please—” His hands fisted into the sheets, shaking violently.
Mary had frozen mid-motion, her vial of dittany still uncorked, tears shining in her eyes as she looked at them. Lily’s wand hovered, light dimming at the tip as she slowly lowered it.
“James…” Lily’s voice was gentle, quiet. “He needs calm. He needs sleep to heal. You’ll wake him fully if you—”
“I don’t care!” James snapped, raw and unrecognizable. His head shot up, eyes bloodshot, streaming. “He spoke my name. He’s alive. He’s here.”
Regulus stirred weakly, a small groan slipping past his lips, and James instantly softened and broke again, stroking his hair back from his damp forehead. His thumb brushed over the curve of his cheek, trembling.
“I’ve got you,” James whispered, his voice gentler now, though it still cracked. “I’m here, love. You’re safe. You’re safe with me. I swear no one will ever touch you again. I’ll kill them all before they touch you again.”
The vow was a growl, violent and protective, but when he looked back down at Regulus, his face crumpled again, tenderness overtaking the fury.
Mary finally lowered the vial, setting it aside with trembling hands.
“He’ll sleep now. The potions will hold him. His body needs… time.”
Lily stepped closer, resting a hand on James’ shoulder. He flinched at the contact but didn’t pull away, his eyes locked on Regulus’ pale face.
“James,” she whispered, her tone steady even though her eyes gleamed with tears. “He’s going to be fine. He just needs to rest. So do you.”
James shook his head violently, clutching tighter to Regulus’ hand.
“I’m not leaving him. Not for a second. I’ll sit right here—I’ll sleep on the floor if I have to, I don’t care—but I’m not—” His voice cracked into another sob. “I’m not letting go of him.”
Lily exchanged a look with Mary. They both nodded, silent agreement passing between them.
“Alright,” Lily said softly. “Then we’ll give you two some space. I’ll... I'll check in the morning, okay?”
Mary brushed Regulus’ damp hair back one last time, her touch delicate.
“He’s strong. Stronger than we thought. He’ll pull through, James.”
And with that, the two of them quietly gathered the empty vials, whispered final charms to steady his breathing, and slipped toward the door. Lily lingered a little longer, her hand against James’ back, grounding him for the briefest second.
“He’s going to be fine,” she murmured.
The door clicked shut.
And James, finally alone, bent over Regulus’ frail body, pressing a kiss to his temple with shaking lips. His hand never left Regulus’, thumb rubbing circles into the back of it, over and over, as if he stopped, Regulus would slip away again. His voice trembled when it finally broke the silence.
“You don’t know,” James whispered, barely more than breath. “You don’t know what you’ve done to me. How much of me belongs to you now. How much of me dies every time you walk out that fucking door.”
His breath hitched, sharp and jagged.
“I used to think—I used to think I was fearless, you know? That nothing could touch me. I was James Potter. Loud, reckless, untouchable.” He laughed bitterly, the sound breaking apart halfway. “But you—Merlin, Reg, you made me afraid because suddenly I had something to lose. Someone I couldn’t live without. And tonight—” His voice cracked hard, choking on the words. “Tonight I thought I lost you.”
James pulled back just enough to see Regulus’ face. He brushed trembling fingers over his cheek, tracing the sharp edge of his jaw as if memorizing it.
“Do you have any idea what that would’ve done to me? What it nearly did? I don’t think I’d survive it. I don’t want to survive it.”
His head dropped, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
“I was so fucking stupid. I let myself believe for one second that you were untouchable, too. That you could play their game and win. But they don’t let people like us win, Reg. Voldemort doesn’t let anyone win.”
He leaned closer, whispering like a prayer against his temple.
“I would trade places with you. In a heartbeat. If I could take all that pain for you, I would. Gladly. You hear me? Because watching you like this—” His voice broke again. “Watching you break, it’s killing me worse than any curse ever could.”
James kissed his knuckles, lingering, like he could pour his soul into the touch. His words turned fierce again, broken by tears.
“I love you,” James said, fierce and breaking all at once, “and it’s the only thing I know for certain in this whole cursed, godforsaken world.”
He swallowed hard, brushing more hair from Regulus’ forehead.
“But you—you stubborn, bloody idiot—you have to stay. You don’t get to leave me. You don’t get to give up, you don’t get to decide I’ll be better off. Because I won’t. I’ll be ruined, love. You’re not some part of me I can learn to live without. You’re all of it. Do you understand? You die, and I die with you.”
His voice dropped, low and trembling, filled with a violence that shook him.
“I’d die for Sirius. I’d die for Remus. Gladly, without a second thought. But for you, Regulus…” He choked, the words dragging out like fire. “For you, I’d kill. I’d burn the world to ash before I let them touch you again. I’d rip their fucking wands from their hands and make them choke on their own blood. Every single person who’s ever laid a finger on you, who’s ever hurt you. I’ll make them pay in screams and blood.” His breath came ragged, wild, half-sob, half-growl. “And if you go, if you go where I can’t follow, I’ll make sure they all go first. And then I’ll follow you anyway, because I can’t do it, Reg. I can’t breathe in a world without you in it.”
His head dropped against Regulus’ chest, curling himself around his frail body like a man begging a corpse to wake. His ear pressed against his battered ribs, straining for the faint heartbeat beneath. That fragile rhythm was the only thing keeping James tethered to this earth.
And for the first time since he was a boy, James Potter prayed. Not to Merlin, not to any God he half-remembered from childhood stories, but to Regulus himself. To the fragile heartbeat beneath his cheek. To the only thing in the world that mattered.
Chapter 39: Recours en grâce
Chapter Text
The world returned to him in pieces.
First came the heaviness in his limbs, the way his own body felt foreign, like he’d been stitched together wrong. Then the ache—deep, gnawing, echoing through bone and marrow. Not sharp anymore, but heavy, constant, as if the curses had left fingerprints carved into him. His throat was dry, his lips cracked, the taste of blood still bitter on his tongue. He tried to move, but the attempt sent sparks of pain through his chest, forcing a low whimper past his lips.
He stood there, caught between waking and drowning, until sound filtered in.
Soft, steady breathing.
Definitely not his own.
Regulus blinked slowly, lashes dragging, and light stung his eyes. It took several long, agonizing moments for his vision to adjust, and when it did, his heart stuttered.
James was slumped in a chair beside the bed, cheek pressed hard against the edge of the mattress. His hair was a wild mess, sticking up in every direction, and his glasses were askew, as though he hadn’t bothered to straighten them for hours. His hand was clamped desperately around Regulus’, the grip so tight it was almost painful.
He was still in yesterday’s clothes, wrinkled, sweat-stained, streaked with dust and faint smears of blood. His wand lay discarded on the floor, forgotten, like nothing mattered anymore except keeping his hand on Regulus’ pulse. His chest rose and fell unevenly, his whole body curled toward the bed, the very picture of a man who had been hollowed out and left with nothing but desperation.
Regulus’ breath caught. He tried to speak, but the sound was a rasp, torn from a throat that had been screamed raw. Still, the faint scrape of it was enough. James jerked upright instantly, as though pulled back from the brink of sleep or madness. His eyes flew open, bloodshot, glassy, and for a second, he just stared, wide and disbelieving, at Regulus’ half-lidded gaze.
“Reg,” James whispered, and the word fractured, his voice cracking like glass under too much weight. His chair scraped violently backward as he fell on his knees, hands trembling as they hovered uselessly before finally landing. One cupping Regulus’ jaw, the other clutching his shoulder as if to reassure himself that he was real.
“Merlin—Merlin, you’re awake. You’re here. You’re—” His voice broke entirely, and he choked on the words.
Regulus blinked again, confusion heavy in his gaze.
“James…” His voice was barely audible, but it was enough to undo him.
James folded forward, pressing his forehead to Regulus’ temple, his shoulders shaking violently.
“Don’t—don’t you ever do that to me again. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare.” The words came out fierce, half-snarl, half-plea, but his lips trembled against Regulus’ skin. “I thought I lost you. I thought you were gone. I—”
He pulled back just enough for Regulus to see him clearly, and it nearly undid him. James Potter, reckless, golden James, who laughed in the face of danger, who lit up every room he walked into, was destroyed. His eyes were red-rimmed and swollen from crying, his face blotchy, his lips split from chewing them raw. He looked like every ounce of his soul had been burned out.
The James Regulus he knew, the boy who turned Quidditch pitches into battlefields and war rooms into jokes, was gone. In his place was something feral, unrecognizable, a man undone by grief and love in equal measure.
Regulus’ fingers twitched weakly, and James caught the movement instantly, clutching his hand again and pressing frantic kisses into his knuckles.
“I swear, I swear on my bloody life, I won’t let them touch you again. Do you hear me? I’ll kill them first. Every last one of them. Whatever it takes.” His voice shook with conviction, as raw as the tears streaking down his cheeks. “You’re mine, Reg. You’re all I have. And if you go—Don’t ask me to live in a world without you, because I can’t. I won’t.”
Regulus tried to speak, but his throat closed on the words, and James hushed him immediately, brushing his hair back from his damp forehead with trembling fingers.
“Don’t talk. Just—just breathe. That’s all I need from you right now. Just stay. Just breathe.”
Regulus closed his eyes again, exhaustion tugging at him, but not before he whispered, faint and cracked, “…don’t leave me…”
His lips brushed across Regulus’ temple, soft and desperate.
“I’ll sit here forever if I have to. I’ll never let go. I’ll keep watch while you sleep. And when you wake up again, I’ll still be here. I’ll always be here.”
Regulus gulped, throat working around the pain, then slowly, trembling with the effort, he raised his other hand. His fingers twitched against the mattress, patting weakly at the space beside him.
“Come,” he whispered, the sound thin and broken.
“Love, you’re hurt. I don’t want to—”
But Regulus shook his head, the motion sluggish but fierce in intent. His chest rose sharply with the effort, breath rattling as he forced the words out.
“Please. I want—” He broke off, frustration flickering across his face as his voice cracked and failed him. His eyes burned, glassy with tears he didn’t have the strength to shed. “Hold me.”
The plea landed in James like a knife. For a moment, he thought he’d shatter all over again. His throat worked around a sob, and he reached out, brushing trembling fingers over Regulus’ temple.
Still, he hesitated, hovering, afraid of pressing too hard against bruises, of hurting where there was already so much pain.
“I don’t want to make it worse,” he whispered, his hand dragging down Regulus’ cheek, his thumb stroking over the hollow there.
But Regulus’ eyes, half-lidded, exhausted, drowning in shadows, met his, and in them James saw everything: the fear, the need, the raw, unguarded want. And he knew. If he refused, if he kept his distance, Regulus would crumble. Because what he was asking for wasn’t comfort, not really. It was proof. Proof that he was still here, still his.
James swallowed hard, his breath shaky.
“Alright,” he murmured, bending to press a kiss to Regulus’ forehead, lingering there as if steadying himself. “Alright, love. I’ve got you.”
Carefully, James slid onto the bed, easing himself into the space at Regulus’ side. His movements were agonizingly slow, every muscle tense with the terror of jostling him too much. He shifted until his chest pressed lightly to Regulus’ shoulder, his arm curling protectively around his waist, his leg draped just enough to anchor without weighing him down.
The moment their bodies touched, Regulus exhaled a shuddering, broken sound that carried more relief than words ever could. His head turned, nuzzling weakly into James’ collarbone, his lips brushing the edge of his shirt. His hand fumbled blindly until it found James’ chest, clutching at the fabric with what little strength he had.
James buried his face into Regulus’ hair, his body trembling as though he might unravel completely.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered again, voice thick with tears. “I’ve got you. You don’t have to ask me twice, love. I’ll hold you as long as you want. Forever, if that’s what it takes.”
Regulus let out a faint, almost imperceptible hum. A sound so soft it was barely there, but James felt it against his chest like the most fragile gift. He tightened his hold just slightly, enough to remind Regulus that he wasn’t going anywhere.
And in that fragile silence, with Regulus pressed against him and his heartbeat faint but steady beneath James’ hand, James let himself breathe for the first time since the nightmare began.
When Regulus opened his eyes for the second time, he was in the same abandoned village. He knew that if he turned his head, he would see the same manor perched on the hill.
This time, he didn’t go to it. Instead, he took a sharp right and walked down a narrow alley towards the forest. The walls on either side of him leaned inward, so close he could run his fingers along the rough stone as he walked. The alley bent once, twice, then spilled him out into the path leading to the forest.
He knew where he was going.
He needed to reach the other house. The one that called to him, not with voice, but with pull. A summons written into the marrow of his bones. Surrounded by snakes. Waiting. Watching. And he knew, as surely as he knew his own name, that whatever lived within it wanted him. No one else.
The last row of houses fell behind him, their ruined shapes shrinking as he pressed forward. The edge of the forest loomed closer, the treeline dark and thick, branches tangled like claws reaching toward the sky.
And then, just as before, a hiss cut through the silence.
From the corner of his eye, a ripple of scales slipped through the tall grass at the forest’s edge. Smooth, deliberate, purposeful. It vanished before he could follow it with his gaze, leaving behind only the whisper of its passage.
The air shifted. The forest seemed to lean closer, waiting for him to enter.
Two more steps, and the forest swallowed him whole. Branches knitted overhead, sealing away the sky, until it felt less like walking beneath trees and more like being pressed into the throat of some vast, breathing beast. The air clung to his skin, damp and sour, every breath tasting of rot and moss and something older and metallic, like dried blood.
The path twisted, narrow and uneven, and Regulus’ boots crunched on soil that seemed to shift beneath him, as though it did not want him walking here. And yet he could not stop. The pull was stronger now, magnetic, irresistible, as though some invisible hand had wrapped itself around his spine and was dragging him forward step by step.
The cottage emerged at last from between the trees, hunched and broken, its roof sagging inward, one wall half-swallowed by vines thick as ropes. It had the look of something long dead but not yet decayed enough to fall apart, and standing before it, Regulus felt his stomach twist as though he was staring at a carcass that still twitched with faint signs of life.
Something brushed against his ankle, and he looked down.
Like the last time, a snake had wound itself out of the grass, its scales glinting faintly in the dim light. It was small, barely the length of his arm, but heavy with presence. It slid over the leather of his boot, the cold weight pressing across his foot, before curling higher, higher, toward bare skin.
Regulus did not move this time.
Another followed. Then another. From every angle, they came: pale-scaled, dark-scaled, some so black they seemed made of shadow itself. They slithered from roots and hollows, from beneath stones, from between the cracks of the cottage wall. The air filled with the whispering susurration of scales on dirt, an ocean tide of movement.
One coiled around his wrist once again. Its tongue flicked out, tasting the air. Then, with deliberate slowness, it slid along the inside of his forearm until it reached the Dark Mark burned into his skin.
Yet, Regulus did not move. Last time, the snake bit him, but now…now it seemed like the reptile was greeting him.
The snake pressed its head to the Mark, its scales cool, its body thrumming with a strange energy. It slithered back and forth across the ink, lingering there as if it recognized something. As if it was feeding on it.
The snake did not bite. None of them did. They wrapped around him like jewelry, sliding along his calves, curling at his elbows, brushing his throat. Cold, unblinking eyes stared into his own before moving on.
He stepped forward, and they parted for him.
The door to the cottage hung loose on its hinges, the wood swollen with damp, one side splintered as though torn at by claws too large to belong to any natural beast. Regulus pressed his hand to it, and the wood shuddered beneath his palm as if recoiling from his touch. He pushed anyway.
Inside, the air smelled of mildew and wet earth, of old smoke and something acrid, unnameable. It was a small cottage, two rooms clearly visible, with the skeleton of a third long since devoured by ivy and creeping roots. The stairs rose a few feet before ending abruptly, the upper floor ripped clean away as if some vast hand had torn it from existence.
Each step forward tightened the pull inside him, a thread drawn taut, strangling. His heartbeat no longer felt like his own. It echoed, hard and unnatural, like the house itself was pulsing in rhythm with his chest.
Then—
A hiss.
Not the quick whisper of a snake’s tongue, but deeper. Slower. Drawn out. It reverberated through the timbers of the house, through the floor beneath his boots, through his very bones. It was not reptilian. It was too heavy, too guttural, almost shaped.
Almost human.
Regulus froze, breath caught in his throat.
The sound came again, echoing from somewhere within the walls, or behind them, or above, though there was no longer an above to speak of. It was as if the house itself had made the sound, as if the walls were lungs, exhaling poison into the air.
His fingers curled into fists. The snakes that clung to him tensed, their bodies pressing tighter against his skin. Not warning him away, but holding him still.
Something was waiting. He could feel it.
Regulus stepped deeper into the ruin, the hiss vibrating in his teeth. The room to his left yawned open, the door hanging half off its hinges. He hesitated only a second before crossing the threshold. The air inside was thicker here, heavy with dust and damp, every breath clawing at his throat. His boots sank into a floor carpeted with mold and rotted fabric.
A table stood in the centre, warped and slouched under the weight of years. Dust lay upon it in layers so thick it looked almost like snow, undisturbed for decades.
Something sat on the table. It was small and rectangular. Covered in dark green velvet that had dulled and frayed with age, but even beneath the ruin, it seemed to pulse faintly with a sheen that wasn’t natural.
Regulus froze. The pull inside him lashed violently, dragging at his chest like a hook buried in his sternum. Every instinct screamed that this was it, this was what had been calling him.
The hiss grew louder. It was no longer one voice. It was many. A chorus. Dozens layered atop one another, whispering in a language his mind could not translate, but something in his blood seemed to understand. His Mark flared, heat searing up his forearm, and the snakes that had followed him tightened their coils, pressing into his flesh like living manacles.
He reached forward. His hand shook as his fingertips brushed the velvet.
The hiss broke into a scream.
It was shrill, human, and not-human, tearing through the cottage walls, rattling the shattered beams above. Dust rained from the ceiling in choking clouds. The snakes convulsed around him, their bodies winding tighter, constricting, until his ribs ached and his pulse stuttered under the pressure.
Still, he lifted the box.
The Mark erupted in pain. Fire shot through his veins, a brand scorching him from the inside out. He could smell his own skin burning, could hear it crackle like fat in a pan. His knees buckled, but he clung to the box, dragging it up against the protest of his body.
He opened it, and the scream intensified, a wail so piercing it blurred the edges of reality, shredding his mind like claws scraping down the inside of his skull. His vision blackened at the edges.
The snakes reacted instantly.
One coiled around his neck, cutting off his air. Another slithered up over his face, cool and slick, pressing its weight over his eyes. And then another. They smothered him, sealing him in living darkness, scales rasping over skin, tongues flicking against his lips, into his ears. His own scream tried to tear free, but it was swallowed, suffocated.
The Mark burned hotter, as though it had split open and was bleeding molten iron into his arm. Something was pouring through him, from the box into his veins, into his marrow, filling him with a weight too great to bear.
“Regulus!”
The voice pierced the void, achingly familiar, trembling.
Regulus’ body jerked, and he opened his eyes.
The cottage was gone. The snakes were gone. He was lying in bed, their bed, sweat plastering his hair to his forehead, his chest heaving as though he’d been drowning.
James sat beside him, one hand gripping his shoulder with desperate force, the other braced on the mattress. His face was pale, drawn, and his eyes wild with fear.
“Reg… Merlin, you’re burning up.” His thumb stroked unconsciously over Regulus’ damp skin, a grounding gesture, though his own fingers trembled.
Regulus gasped, dragging in air as though he hadn’t breathed in years. The phantom sensation of scales still crawled over his arms, his neck, his face. His Mark pulsed beneath the skin, faint but searing.
“Water,” Regulus whispered; his throat raw.
James scrambled for the glass on the nightstand, his hands clumsy as he half-filled it from the pitcher Lily had left. He slid an arm behind Regulus’ shoulders and lifted him carefully, as though he were porcelain and might shatter.
“Easy,” James murmured, pressing the rim to his mouth. “Small sips.”
Regulus obeyed, though every swallow scraped fire down his throat. When James lowered him back against the pillows, the glass nearly slipped in his trembling fingers.
“Are you okay?” James’ voice was hoarse, breaking around the words. “How do you feel?”
Regulus’ lips curved in the faintest, bitter attempt at humour.
“I’ve had better days.” He flexed his toes beneath the blankets, grimacing. “But at least I can feel them.”
James stared at him, stricken.
“This is not funny, Reg.” His voice cracked into a whisper. “You were half-dead when they brought you. All I wanted was to—”
“James.” Regulus snapped his head toward him, eyes sharp even through exhaustion.
James froze.
“Did you hurt them?” Regulus asked, voice cutting through the fragile quiet. “Evan and Barty.”
James’ throat bobbed. His silence was louder than words.
Regulus shifted, turning fully to face him despite the ache it caused. His eyes were fire now.
“James. They followed orders.”
“They fucking tortured you!” James snarled, surging to his feet so suddenly the bed groaned under them. His fists clenched at his sides, trembling. “You should be glad I didn’t rip their throats out while they were still standing in that room.”
“James, you don’t understand—”
“Oh, so should I understand?” James’ voice rose, ragged with fury. He jabbed a finger toward him, pacing like a caged animal. “Should I expect this from now on? To have you dragged back here half-dead every week? To have Lily and Mary patch you up, stitch you back together, and then—then pretend it didn’t happen?!” His voice cracked, high and raw. “Tell me, Regulus, is that how things will be from now on?!”
Regulus’ hands balled into fists against the blanket.
“You think I want this?!” His voice thundered in the room, startling even himself. “You think I let them do that to me because it amuses me? Because it’s some sick game? You think they wanted to do it?” He coughed, the words tearing his throat, but he pressed on, eyes burning. “They did it because there was no other choice, James. None. If we disobey, they kill us. They kill you. They kill everyone.”
James stopped pacing, chest heaving, his face twisted in anguish.
“So what? I’m supposed to just sit here and watch them break you? Night after night until there’s nothing left?”
Regulus snapped back, his own fury cutting through the haze of pain.
“And what should I do? Run? Hide? You think they wouldn’t find me? Find you? You think you can keep me safe by snarling threats at every shadow that crosses our threshold?” His voice dropped. “You can’t protect me from this, James. Not this.”
James recoiled as though struck.
“Don’t you dare—”
“It’s the truth.” Regulus’ voice shook now, but it didn’t waver. “You can’t save me. You want to, I know you do. But this war isn’t fought on your terms. And every time you look at me like that, like I’m fragile, like I’m already in a coffin, you make it worse.”
James’ face crumpled, rage bleeding into grief. He slammed his palm down on the dresser so hard it rattled.
“I can’t not look at you like that! I carried you in this bed, Regulus! I watched your chest barely move, your skin cold, your blood everywhere—Merlin, you were half dead! And all you can say is that they were following orders?!” His voice shredded into a scream. “Orders don’t justify what they did to you!”
“They justify survival!” Regulus roared back, the sound tearing out of him despite every thin protest of pain. He doubled over, laughing a sound that had no humour in it. “I am still alive because I play their game. Because I take the orders. Because I bend, so I don’t break. Do you understand that?” His chest heaved, sweat glistening on his brow. “I endure it, James, because if I don’t, everything we are dies with me.”
Silence cracked open between them, thick and suffocating.
James’ lips trembled. He shook his head violently, fists clenching again.
“No. No, I can’t accept that. I won’t.” He stepped forward as if to cross the small, dangerous space between them. “Because if ‘enduring’ means watching you waste away, then I’d tear the world open and drag you out of the wreckage with my bare hands before I let them take another piece of you.”
Regulus stared at him, chest aching with more than wounds. His voice dropped to a whisper that scraped the room raw.
“And if you do that, James… if you lose yourself in that… then we lose each other anyway. So, what’s the difference?”
James froze, breath ragged, like the words had gutted him clean through.
Neither of them moved. The air between them was taut, trembling, thick with something greater than anger, greater than love — it was both, fused together, indistinguishable, a current that neither could escape. It held them still, even as their hearts pounded like war drums, even as their bodies screamed to bridge the distance and tear each other apart or cling to each other until they dissolved.
“So, you want me to watch you rot in a corner and call it survival?” James growled, but it sounded less like defiance and more like bargaining with a horrible possibility. “I will not walk out of your life because you choose to suffer.”
Regulus’ laugh this time was a small, broken thing.
“This isn’t a choice, James. It’s arithmetic. The war takes. The war trades—love for leverage, mercy for obedience.”
“You promised me, Regulus,” James whispered, “you promised me we’re in this together. That you won’t close the door again.”
Regulus swayed as he pushed himself upright with a grunt of pain, ignoring James’ instinctive step forward to steady him. He limped, slow but determined, until he stood in front of James, their breaths mingling.
“I am not, James” Regulus’ voice was hoarse “this is me keeping the door bloody open. You have to trust me. Trust Barty. Trust Evan. What they did…” he shook his head “it was worse for them than it was for me. Voldemort does this. This,” he said, raising his sleeve “does this. If I have to be brought back in pieces each day so that I can finish this and finally live the life that we both deserve, so be it.”
James clenched his jaw so hard it hurt, his eyes burning as he looked away, as though turning from Regulus might somehow lessen the pain.
But Regulus wouldn’t let him. He reached out, caught James by the chin, and forced his face back toward him. His grip was trembling but firm. He drowned himself in James’ eyes as though he could breathe through them.
“This is not the end,” Regulus whispered. His thumb brushed over the stubble of James’ jaw, soft enough to unravel him completely. “We will have that life, James. We will end this, and we will be free.”
A sound tore from James’ throat, raw and loud, as he pulled Regulus against him, arms crushing, face buried into the sharp slope of his shoulder. Regulus sagged into the embrace, his body trembling but unyielding, his hand fisting in the back of James’ shirt.
The silence stretched again, but this time it was different. It was not war. It was survival. Two hearts beating raggedly against one another in a world determined to crush them.
James clung to him as though Regulus was the last thing holding him to this earth. He pressed his face into the curve of his shoulder, breath shuddering, hot tears wetting torn fabric. He wanted to disappear there, wanted to sink into Regulus and never resurface.
For a long, fragile moment, they stayed, suspended, neither daring to move because movement would mean admitting this could end.
Then, slowly, Regulus shifted. Just slightly. His hand slid upward, deliberate despite its tremor, until it cupped the back of James’ neck. His thumb brushed along the damp skin there, feeling the frantic, desperate hammer of James’ pulse. He tugged — not gently, but with the quiet ferocity of a dying man demanding something he knew he didn’t deserve.
James lifted his head. Their eyes collided.
Something cracked open between them. Not fury, not grief this time, but an intensity so sharp it bordered on unbearable. The air charged, heavy, thick, pulling them together with the inevitability of gravity.
“Love…” James whispered, the word trembling from his lips like a prayer spoken in a ruined church.
But Regulus didn’t answer. He leaned in, closing the sliver of distance between them, and pressed his mouth against James’. Even if his whole body hurt, he didn’t care for anything other than James’ touch.
The kiss was not soft. It was desperate. It was teeth and trembling and salt, the taste of tears and the iron tang of blood still lingering on Regulus’ lips. James gasped against him, his entire body jolting as if struck by lightning, and then he was devouring him, clutching Regulus’ face in both hands, kissing him like a man drowning, dragging the air back into his lungs through the press of that mouth.
Regulus clung just as fiercely, as though his very survival depended on it. His fists twisted in James’ shirt, yanking him closer, closer, until there was no space left between them, until Regulus was certain he could disappear into James’ chest and never have to face the war, the agony, the inevitability pressing down on them. The kiss deepened, reckless and consuming, messy with sharp breaths and muffled groans—but it burned. Merlin, it scorched like wildfire, like the last kiss of men condemned.
James tasted everything on him. The fragility, the bruises blooming beneath his skin, the bitter exhaustion, and it only drove him harder, desperate to anchor him, to keep him there. His mouth crashed against Regulus’, unrelenting, as if he could fight death itself with nothing but sheer will and love turned savage. His hands were everywhere. Tangled in dark hair, caressing the line of a sharp cheekbone, sliding down to the curve of his throat where Regulus’ pulse fluttered. James pressed his thumb there, held it, clung to it like proof: alive, alive, alive.
Regulus tore away with a shuddering breath, his forehead collapsing against James’, lips swollen and trembling, eyes half-lidded and burning like dying stars. His chest heaved against James’ ribcage, the rhythm desperate, erratic, like he couldn’t breathe unless it was the same air James was breathing.
“You should rest,” James whispered over his lips, but didn’t let him go.
“Fuck rest,” Regulus rasped, his voice hoarse, dragging James back down before the words had cooled in the air. His fingers curled into James’ hair, not a plea but a command. “Don’t stop.”
And James didn’t. He obeyed without thought, like a man at an altar, kissing him again, slower this time but no less fierce, pouring every ounce of terror, rage, and devotion into the press of his lips. His hands trembled at Regulus’ waist, steadying him as he pulled him flush against his chest. The sound that left Regulus was swallowed greedily by James, like communion, like sacrament, desperate for every sound, every fragment of proof that he was still here.
When their mouths broke apart, it was only so James could chart new paths. He kissed the corner of his lips, his jaw, the hollow beneath his ear, each press reverent and frantic all at once, a man praying with his mouth.
“I love you,” he murmured against his skin, each word a confession carved out of bone. “I love you so fucking much it hurts.”
Regulus’ hands tightened, nails dragging through fabric to scrape against James’ back, the gesture both possessive and grounding. He held him like a drowning man clinging to driftwood, breath ragged, words rasped raw against James’ temple.
“You’re mine,” Regulus whispered, each syllable trembling with equal parts devotion and demand. “Always was. Always been.”
The sound of it split James open. His whole body shook; his knees hit the carpet before he even realised he’d fallen. He sank there willingly, not as a man undone, but as a man kneeling before something holy. He pressed his face to Regulus’ chest, inhaling him, worshipping him, before his lips began their slow descent, tracing him like scripture.
“Always yours,” he mouthed against pale skin, tongue tracing the sharp line of his sternum. Teeth grazing over bruises and scars like he could claim them, rewrite them, turn them into something sanctified instead of the marks of war.
Regulus’ breath hitched; his head tipped back, exposing the long column of his throat as a tremor ran through him. His fingers threaded into James’ hair, tugging, his grip unrelenting and possessive. Every time James’ lips moved lower, Regulus tightened his hold, as though he could bind him there with sheer will. The soft gasp that left his throat when James kissed along the curve of his ribs was half pain, half awe, wholly intoxicating.
His hands slid up the backs of Regulus’ thighs, holding him steady, as though the world would fall apart if he didn’t keep this man grounded. He kissed lower, mapping him, branding him.
“In this life, and each to come.”
Regulus shuddered, his whole frame arching forward as if answering before his lips could. He pulled on James’ hair until their eyes met—dark against burning, one trembling and the other lit with quiet fire. His chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths; his lips parted, but no sound came, only the flicker of command in his gaze.
James looked up from where he knelt, hands stroking along Regulus’ trembling thighs, eyes soft even as they burned. He was already undone, already conquered.
“Say it again,” Regulus whispered, voice hoarse. “Say you’re mine.”
And James, still on his knees, whispered it back like prayer, like vow, like surrender. His voice broke against it, but the sound was resolute and unshakable.
“I’m yours.”
Regulus’ grip in his hair tightened, anchoring him, holding him in place as though testing the weight of the words. And then, slowly, he let go, his hands sliding down James’ face, fingers brushing over stubble and sweat-damp skin, leaving trails of fire wherever they touched.
James reached for the hem of Regulus’ robes with trembling hands, looking up for permission. He didn’t speak. His wide, frantic eyes said everything: let me worship you, let me prove it, let me lose myself in you.
Regulus tilted his chin in the barest of nods. That was all. And James obeyed.
With painstaking care, he eased the fabric loose, fingers fumbling with buttons as though they were holy relics not to be rushed. Each undone clasp revealed a sliver of pale skin, bruised, scarred, fragile, and James bent to kiss every new inch as it was exposed. His lips brushed reverently over bruises blooming like war-paint across a body too young to bear it.
Regulus’ breath came ragged, shallow, but his back remained straight, chin tilted upward like a king on a throne, allowing himself to be unwrapped, piece by piece, by the man kneeling at his feet.
James slipped the fabric further, and Regulus’ eyes fluttered shut, his throat bobbing with a swallow.
“You’re everything,” James whispered, voice breaking, raw and trembling as he pressed his lips once more to bruised skin. “And I’ll never rise again if you don’t let me.”
Regulus looked down at him, chest heaving, lips parted. His fingers tightened again in James’ hair until it hurt, pulling his head back so their eyes met. In that gaze was fire and ruin, tenderness and command, love and something sharper, something that cut.
“You’ll rise when I tell you to,” he whispered, voice steady despite the tremor of his body. “And not a moment sooner.”
James shuddered, the words slamming through him like gospel. He bowed his head again, willingly, trembling, pressing another kiss just below Regulus’ navel, as if to seal the vow.
And in that moment, anyone who saw them would know that James Potter belonged to Regulus Black, body and soul, and Regulus belonged just as completely in return.
It was not the kind of belonging spoken in vows or bound in rings. It was older than that, deeper than that. It was something primal, something etched into marrow and blood, a truth that no war and no curse could strip away.
James knelt, not as a man broken, but as a man remade, offering everything he was into the trembling hands of the boy who had already taken it without asking.
Time itself seemed to fold in on them, bending to the gravity of their devotion. In that fragile pocket of eternity, they were untouchable. They were infinite. And though the war clawed ever closer, though fate loomed sharp and merciless, they transcended it all.
To say the breakfast was Regulus’ worst nightmare would’ve been an insult to nightmares everywhere. Nightmares at least had the decency to end when you woke up. This was ongoing and accompanied by Kreacher’s nervous coddling.
Calling it awkward was like calling the time Slughorn caught a fellow Slytherin in fifth year snogging the shit out of him behind Greenhouse Three a mild misunderstanding.
No. This morning was a potential guerrilla warfare between James, Barty and Evan, with poor Mary and Lily pretending not to notice the death looming in the treeline.
The only sliver of mercy this time around? Barty had apparently discovered the revolutionary concept of shutting his mouth. Which, if Regulus was being honest, was disorienting enough to merit its own obituary in the Prophet. And from the way James glanced at Barty, something had transpired between them yesterday. Something significant.
Regulus tried to pry the answers from James, but he refused to discuss, saying that he didn’t want to think at that moment any longer. Which, frankly, only confirmed Regulus’ suspicions that James had either threatened murder, attempted it, or both.
But something did happen because Barty, Barty fucking Crouch, cleared his throat before addressing James and politely requesting the bread basket.
Barty didn’t do polite. Barty Crouch sneered, jeered, bitched, raged, cackled, and exploded. But “could you please pass the bread” was about as likely to come out of his mouth as a Demiguise politely handing you a certificate guaranteeing a blissful, war-free future.
Or a Qilin bowing gracefully to Voldemort.
In one word. Impossible.
Yet, there he was.
For a fraction of a second, Regulus actually considered pinching himself under the table to make sure he hadn’t died last night and woken up in some purgatorial fever dream.
But...oh.
Right. He had been on this table yesterday, hadn’t he? James had mentioned as much in that maddeningly vague tone of his. Something about blood and curses and, yes, right, Regulus nearly dying on it.
Regulus didn’t remember much after Rabastan, at least, he was fairly sure it had been Rabastan, dragged his limp body out of Voldemort’s charming little torture soirée. The memory was still foggy, smeared at the edges like a bad watercolour. He remembered the weightlessness, the agony threading through every nerve… and James’ voice. That one stood out, echoing in his skull in a way that made absolutely no sense, because the last thing he remembered before blacking out was his body spasming on Voldemort’s table like some tragic, unwilling marionette.
“Master?”
Kreacher’s voice snapped him back into the present, and Regulus flinched hard enough to nearly spill his tea. He needed to learn how to keep his head straight, honestly. It was getting pathetic. If he couldn’t focus on a simple breakfast without spiralling into existential nonsense, what business did he have trying to outmanoeuvre the Dark Lord?
“Yes, sorry. What were you saying?”
“Would Master want more Essence of Dittany with his tea? Kreacher can put a few droplets.”
“No, thank you. I am fine,” Regulus murmured, patting his lips with a napkin like he was some perfectly civilized wizard, not a half-crippled wreck pretending his insides weren’t still sizzling from yesterday’s curses or his fight with James.
The fight ended on good terms, though. Enticing, even.
But there was still some anger simmering in James. He could tell from the stiffness of his shoulders.
Evan was also watching him. His eyes tracked every movement, like Regulus was some sort of rare beast on display at the Magical Creatures Reserve. He didn’t even touch his coffee, which was unsettling enough because if there was one immutable truth in this wretched world, it was that no one, absolutely no one, consumed more coffee than Evan Rosier.
“Crouch, are you going to pass the salt, or keep it on your side of the table all breakfast?” James snapped, and Regulus frowned.
Barty froze, his hand halfway to the salt. He blinked at James like he’d just been spoken to in Mermish, then glanced at Evan as if for silent backup.
Lily, ever the peacemaker, sighed softly. Without a word, she leaned across, plucked up the salt, and handed it to James.
“Thanks,” James muttered, though his voice was low and grumbly, as if Lily had betrayed him by not letting him fight this particular battle to the death. He shook the salt aggressively over his food.
Regulus, who had been quietly buttering his own slice, glanced up. His eyes flicked from Barty to Evan. Both men immediately looked away, their gazes darting in opposite directions like guilty schoolboys caught sneaking out after curfew.
“I just didn’t hear him,” Barty mumbled.
“You didn’t hear me?” James huffed, incredulous. “I was practically barking across the table at you. I’m surprised the windows didn’t shatter.”
Lily pinched the bridge of her nose.
“James…”
“What?!” James threw his hands up, nearly spilling his tea. “I asked for the bloody salt, not his firstborn child.”
Salazar’s dusty balls, this was getting out of hand.
“Merlin,” Regulus muttered under his breath, dragging a hand down his face. “Can you please stop? Or at least discuss this like mature people? We’re in the middle of a fucking war, and you two are squabbling like toddlers.”
“We are not squabbling,” James said through gritted teeth. His jaw was locked, his fork stabbing into his eggs with unnecessary force. “Excuse me for not being okay with standing at the same table with the ones who fucking tortured you, Regulus. The only reason why they are not rotting outside is, well, you.”
“Stop it, James.” Regulus put his cutlery down. “We already had this discussion. We are not doing this again.”
James’ nostrils flared.
“No, you talked, and I let it slide because you were alive and not a half-dead corpse on a table. But you’re sitting here now, upright, breathing, and apparently still defending them, so let’s have it out.”
Barty’s hands, which had been tightly clasped in his lap, finally slammed onto the table with a sharp crack.
“You think I wanted that Potter?” Barty finally snapped, and a small, dark part of Regulus exhaled peacefully that his friend was finally back.
Of course, James did not appreciate it.
“You’d better keep your mouth shut, Crouch,” James growled, his wand hand twitching at his side, “or you’ll eat with a straw for the rest of the day.”
“Try me,” Barty spat, his eyes blazing. “Go on, Potter. Hex me. It’ll make no bloody difference. You’ll still choke on the truth.”
Evan shifted uncomfortably, his gaze flicking between them like he was tracking a Quidditch match he wanted no part of.
“Alright, maybe let’s not—”
“Oh, shut up, Rosier, you’re in the same fucking position,” James barked without looking at him.
That was enough to make Evan’s back stiffen, his voice sharp now.
“Don’t you dare order me around. You think you’re the only one who cares about him? The only one bleeding inside every time Voldemort looks his way? You don’t own his pain, Potter.”
Regulus’ stomach dropped. The words hit the table like a curse.
James shot up from his chair so violently that it nearly toppled backward.
“The fuck did you just say?”
Evan rose too, his voice low and dangerous.
“Exactly what you heard. I will not dignify you by repeating myself.”
The room crackled. Wands were seconds away from being drawn, the air thick with fury.
Lily opened her mouth, but Mary grabbed her hand under the table, shaking her head slowly.
“Please stop,” Regulus spoke, and there was something in his voice, something that made James’ head snap at him instantly. He gazed at him for a couple of seconds, then sat back, grumbling under his breath.
“I saved a member of the Order yesterday. A girl. Killed the bastard that caught her," Regulus said after he made sure that none of them were two breaths away from cursing each other.
Barty’s head whipped toward him, eyes narrowing. “Come again?”
“I obliviated her and then used the Imperius to make her go to the Order and tell them that Sirius saved her. I also told her that Lily, Mary, and the others are alive.”
“You what?” Lily’s voice echoed, “Why?”
“Because I told you that I want you out. Surviving this war means trusting each other. Winning this war means sacrifice. What Barty and Evan did yesterday was make sure that we are winning, James. If Voldemort had doubted me for a second, I wouldn’t have crossed that threshold breathing.”
James’ face twisted, grief and rage a storm behind his eyes.
“I know it sounds awful,” Regulus pressed on, his voice thick but unwavering. “But this is reality. This is the battlefield we live on. The path is long, and there will be moments that force us apart. Maybe even destroy us.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “But we need to see the bigger picture. We need to trust each other enough to believe there’s an end to this. We didn’t survive years of starving, of bleeding, of watching our world rot and friends die just to tear each other apart now at the breakfast table.”
Barty looked away first, his jaw tight. Evan lowered himself slowly back into his chair, though the fury still burned in his eyes.
James didn’t move. His knuckles were white against the edge of the table, his chest heaving, torn between lashing out and listening.
Regulus leaned forward slightly, his gaze sweeping across them all.
“So, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to stop measuring who cares more. You’re going to stop treating me like property to be defended or debts to be settled. And you’re going to start trusting me, and trusting each other. Otherwise…” He let the silence stretch, sharp as glass. “Otherwise Voldemort won’t need to kill us because we’ll do it ourselves.”
Chapter 40: In templum Dei
Summary:
Fingers crossed you’ve already pieced it together and realised what Reggie is, because this micro-trope had me in a chokehold
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“You think this is a good idea?” James asked, adjusting the leather straps of his wand holster against his thigh.
“No,” Regulus replied easily, throwing a crooked, infuriatingly cheeky smile over his shoulder. The dim hallway light caught in the green of his eyes. “But when have I ever gotten it wrong?”
James huffed, shaking his head.
“You really want me to answer that?”
“So, let me get this straight,” Barty spoke from where he was standing, leaning against the wall. “You two are going to Apparate at Rabastan’s bloody manor, drink whatever shit Illyan cooked for you, enter your dream state, wander around the landscape of your own subconscious, then return, preferably not half mad.”
“Exactly,” Regulus snapped the clasp of his cloak.
“Right. Sounds foolproof. And why aren’t we using a Pensieve for this? You know, the sane option?”
James raised his brow expectantly at Regulus, denying for the love of what is good in this world to give Barty the satisfaction of being right.
“Do you happen to have a Pensieve hidden around?” Regulus arched his brow in a way that made James want to strangle him and kiss him at the same time. “The only Pensieve I know of sits in Dumbledore’s office, and I can bet my wand that Voldemort either corrupted it or smashed it to dust long ago.”
“What about Legilimency?” Evan tried, but Regulus shook his head.
“No. Legilimency is a window, not a door. You can only see what I consciously remember, not what lies beneath. And what we need can’t be accessed by peeking. I have to go there. Walk it. Touch it.”
Evan frowned, his gaze darting briefly to James, then back to Regulus.
“And you’re comfortable with that risk?”
“Comfortable?” Regulus let out a dry laugh, tilting his head. “No. But it’s necessary. And necessary is the only measure that matters in this war.”
James groaned, dragging a hand through his hair.
“You don’t even know what Illyan’s going to give you, Reg. You don’t know the dosage, or the effects, or, Merlin forbid, the side effects. You’re walking blindly into something made by a man who thinks moral boundaries are a suggestion at best.”
“Oh, I know there will be side effects. “Illyan has never brewed a potion that didn’t threaten to melt your brain into soup. That’s part of his charm.”
“That doesn’t bloody help,” James deadpanned, exasperation bleeding into every syllable.
“Come on, James,” Regulus drawled, his voice almost playful now. “At least this way you’ll get to see my darling brother and our dear Moony again. Not a bad bargain for a night of shared insanity, is it?”
James opened his mouth to retort, but Regulus had already turned, extending his arm with a flourish, palm up, fingers wiggling with deliberate provocation.
“Shall we, then?” he asked, his smile sharp, dangerous, and far too sure of itself for James’ liking.
He sighed, muttered a curse under his breath, and reached out—because of course he did. He always would.
One heartbeat later, James felt the tug at his navel; the next, his boots struck the polished marble of Rabastan’s foyer. The air smelled faintly of damp stone and wax polish, and James frowned.
“Are those—” James’ brows pulled together as his eyes landed on the table by the stairwell.
“Flowers, yes. Carnations. Regulus’ eyes softened at the sight of the flowers.
A pop echoed across the hall, and a small house-elf appeared, its bat-like ears twitching, enormous eyes darting between the newcomers.
“Masters are expected,” it squeaked, voice trembling. “This way, sirs, this way…”
They followed the elf across the echoing foyer, their footsteps swallowed by the thick carpet. James’ gaze drifted along the walls and saw that there were no portraits.
Not a trace of the haughty, sneering faces of ancient Blacks or Lestranges. No painted eyes that followed intruders with suspicion and disdain.
Instead, there were canvases. Oil paintings of soft fields and shadowed forests, of small woodland creatures in tender detail. A fox mid-pounce in the grass, wings of a swan captured mid-flight, a cottage garden bursting with hollyhocks and foxgloves, colours vivid against the muted stone walls.
“Rabastan burnt all the family paintings. Told Rodolphus that it was… an unfortunate accident,” Regulus explained, watching the question forming behind James' eyes.
“Never expected the Lestrange family to be into landscapes.”
“They weren’t.” Regulus glanced sideways at him, his mouth curving faintly. “These were brought here by someone else.”
James slowed, his gaze drifting back to the fox painting, the quick brushstrokes capturing its motion with startling life. His chest tightened.
A woman.
He could feel it in the way the paintings had been chosen—softer, braver, gentler than the family that lived here. Someone who loved light, who filled dark corners with flowers, who believed beauty had its place even in a house steeped in shadow.
Someone who had tried to make this hollow tomb into a home.
His throat closed. He thought of his mother and her endless vases of irises in every room, the faint lavender scent always clinging to her sleeves, the way she coaxed warmth into their old manor until it felt alive. Euphemia Potter had taught him to notice such things, to see the care hidden in small details. To be able to tell if a woman’s hands had touched a house with love.
This one had, and the thought ached.
The elf led them down a narrow hallway and stopped before a pair of double doors. His spindly fingers shook as he pushed them open, revealing the manor’s drawing room.
The warmth hit them first: firelight spilling across the hardwood, thick curtains drawn against the night, the faint curl of smoke drifting lazily in the air.
And then came the sound. Sirius’ voice, carrying across the room like a bloody trumpet.
“I’m telling you, you watered this down, Lestrange! Firewhiskey doesn’t taste like this unless you’ve ruined it!”
Across from him, Rabastan Lestrange stood with arms crossed, face the very picture of aristocratic irritation.
“You think I serve you diluted liquor? In my house?”
In an armchair by the hearth, Remus Lupin was the picture of studied indifference: long legs stretched out, a heavy tome levitating just in front of him while he lazily drew on a cigarette, exhaling smoke rings that curled upward and dissipated against the ceiling. His golden eyes flicked up briefly, registering the arrival without surprise.
The heavy doors had barely closed behind them when Sirius turned and froze.
“Prongs?”
His face cracked wide with disbelief, then joy, then something like rage that James hadn’t told him that he would visit. But none of that stopped him. He was across the room in seconds, nearly barreling James over with a crushing embrace.
“Bloody hell, you prat!” Sirius’ voice cracked somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “You look like you haven’t slept in ages!”
“Sirius—” James wheezed, arms coming up to steady him, but the words barely left his mouth before Sirius’ attention darted sideways at his brother.
For a heartbeat, the room went taut, all sound folding into silence.
Then Sirius surged forward again, as if he hadn’t learned the first time, grabbing Regulus by the shoulders and crushing him into a rough, bone-jarring hug.
“Reggie—”
Regulus groaned, shoving him back with a scowl.
“Ugh, get off.” He straightened his cloak with brisk, irritated tugs, as though Sirius’ touch had contaminated the fabric.
Sirius grinned, completely ignoring the push.
“Still prickly. Good. Means you’re not dead inside.”
“I should be so lucky,” Regulus muttered, his voice low and dry, though the flicker of color in his cheeks betrayed something more complicated than annoyance.
Before Sirius could retort, Remus crossed the room with his usual quiet grace. He embraced James first, warm, firm, the kind of hug that had history pressed into it, before turning to Regulus. He paused, his amber eyes soft, then simply opened his arms.
Regulus hesitated. It was only a fraction of a second, but enough for the air to tighten between them. Then, with a small exhale, he allowed himself to be drawn into Remus’ embrace.
“You look good,” Regulus murmured into the thick knit of his jumper, his voice muffled, almost uncertain, as though the words had escaped before he could stop them.
A low laugh rumbled through Remus’ chest.
“Well, Illyan nailed the last batch. You smell like…” There was a short intake of air, and Regulus knew that he felt the dark magic residue.
“Are you okay?” He leaned back slightly, his hand still resting lightly on Regulus’ arm, eyes scanning his pale face.
“Yeah,” Regulus whispered, gaze darting away like a boy caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Remus clicked his tongue, then looked at James, whose jaw was tight with the effort of holding back..
“Moony—” Regulus’ voice cut through before Sirius could jump in again. He caught Remus by the sleeve, fingers curling just enough to stop him, while shooting a quick, warning side-eye at his brother. The look said it all: Don’t let him know. Don’t let him blame himself.
And Remus, ever perceptive, understood. He gave a short nod, his hand brushing Regulus’ shoulder once before releasing him.
“How come you let him hug you?” Sirius’ voice cut sharply across the room, his arms folding over his chest in theatrical indignation. His gray eyes narrowed, full of wounded pride. “I’m your brother!”
Regulus turned to him with glacial calm, expression flat and totally unimpressed.
“You smell of wet dog.”
The silence that followed was exquisite. Sirius gasped, his hands flying to his chest as though Regulus had fired a curse straight through him.
“I do not!” he barked, indignant, before dramatically sniffing at his shirt. His nose wrinkled, though he wasn’t about to admit defeat. “I smell like—like a bed of roses, you ungrateful little snake!” He whirled toward Remus, one arm outstretched like an actor begging the audience to side with him. “Moony, please confirm.”
Remus only arched a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching. He shook his head slowly, chuckling as he reclaimed the thick tome that floated obediently back into his hands.
“Nope. I’m not getting involved.” He flicked his cigarette ash neatly into a nearby tray and turned a page, the picture of studied indifference.
Sirius stared, betrayed.
“You’re supposed to be on my side!”
Regulus’ lips curled, not quite a smile, but close enough to mockery. He tugged his cloak tighter around himself, eyes glinting.
“Seems even your beloved Moony won’t lie for you, dear brother.”
James, who had been fighting not to laugh through the entire exchange, finally gave up and let out a loud laugh.
“I told you not to stand in the rain, Black.” Rabastan’s smirk was razor-thin, and Sirius immediately snapped his head toward him, eyes narrowing.
“Shut your mouth, Lestrange,” Sirius bit out, voice already fraying at the edges. “You stink of old carpets.”
“Wow,” Rabastan blinked slowly, as if impressed. “You never cease to amaze me.” He moved with unhurried calm, pulling a small vial from inside his coat. The glass caught the firelight, gleaming faintly green, unsettling in its simplicity. He set it on the table with a soft clink. “Well, the old geezer got your owl and stopped here this afternoon to drop this. So, how do you want to do this, Reggie?”
“What is that?” Sirius’ eyes darted from the vial to Regulus, then to James, who had gone very still. His brother’s shoulders were tense, coiled like a spring, and Sirius’ stomach sank at the sight. “James?” His voice grew sharper, louder, demanding. “What the fuck is happening here?”
Even Remus, calm and steady Remus, sat up straighter, his tome sitting forgotten in his lap. His cigarette dangled dangerously between his fingers, ash scattering across the floor, but his eyes were fixed only on Regulus.
The silence stretched, taut as a wire. Then—
“I think I know where the next Horcrux is hidden.” Regulus’ voice was quiet, deliberate. But the words dropped like lead into the room.
“You…” Rabastan choked mid-sip, coughing into his sleeve. “Regulus—”
“Listen.” Regulus raised his palm, sharp and imperious, silencing the half-formed protests. His face was pale, drawn, but his eyes glinted with something harder than steel. “I keep having these dreams. There’s something out there calling for me. The same thing happened with the locket. I just—” he faltered, pressing his lips into a thin line before continuing. “I know there’s something out there.”
“What do you mean by dreams?” Sirius’ voice cut sharply across the room. He turned on James like a whip, his face twisted with fury. “Did you know about this?”
“I—” James dragged his hand through his hair, leaving it a mess of dark tufts. His throat worked around words he didn’t seem to want to say. “Padfoot—”
“By dreams, you mean premonitions?” Remus interjected, his frown deep, his voice steadier, more clinical.
Regulus let out a sharp breath, collapsing into the nearest chair. His cloak fell around him in a sweep of dark fabric, his shoulders hunched.
“No? Yes? I don’t know.” His voice dropped lower, weary. “I know it sounds mad.”
“It doesn’t,” Remus countered gently, leaning forward. “Maybe you’re a seer?”
Sirius choked on his firewhiskey so hard the glass nearly slipped from his fingers.
“A what? Like Trelawney?” He wheezed, eyes wide in disbelief. Even Rabastan looked like Regulus had sprouted a second head, his usually steady gaze bulging comically.
“That,” Regulus said flatly, narrowing his eyes, “indeed sounds absolutely batshit crazy.”
“Not if it worked before.” Remus’ tone was calm, but there was a flicker of something unreadable in his expression. “You trusted the dreams enough then.”
James shifted uncomfortably at Regulus’ side, his knee bouncing, his hand fiddling with his wand holster.
“And what’s that for?” Remus asked, nudging his chin toward the vial still glinting on the table.
Regulus’ gaze followed, his mouth pressing into a grim line.
“That—” he paused, as though testing the words in his head before releasing them. “That’s what’s supposed to let me walk through the dream. To… see what’s hidden and where exactly it is.” His voice dropped even lower, almost reverent. “I need to check everything before we move. No guessing, no blind strikes.”
“Walk through the dream?” Sirius repeated, disbelief painting every word.
“Yes.” Regulus’ gaze didn’t falter. “It’ll push me into something like a sleepless dream. Half here, half there. Not sleeping. Not awake. Caught in between.”
“Like a trance,” Remus murmured, nodding slowly. His voice was quiet but carried weight, as though he was pulling threads together.
Regulus tilted his head, conceding the point with a small, sharp movement.
“I wouldn’t call it a trance, but… yeah. Something like that.”
They moved into the living room, firelight flickering against panelled walls, bookshelves leaning with neglected tomes. Regulus moved to sit, only for Rabastan to suddenly sweep past him, adjusting the cushions on the settee with a fastidious precision. He even fluffed one before setting it back.
Everyone froze.
“What?” Rabastan said defensively, smoothing down the fabric. “I assume he needs to be comfortable.”
Sirius’ eyes narrowed, incredulous.
“You don’t do that for me.”
Rabastan’s lip curled.
“That’s because you bite the hand that feeds you, Black. Besides—” he gestured at the settee with a mocking flourish—“you should be grateful you’re sitting on anything more civilized than a splintered chair. Frankly, I’d have gladly given you the dog’s house.”
Regulus lowered himself into the seat with deliberate calm, ignoring the sparks about to fly between his brother and Rabastan.
Remus, who had been silent through the exchange, reached for the vial Rabastan had dropped on the low table. He turned it over in his hands, the firelight catching in the viscous liquid. With a quiet pop, he uncorked it and brought it to his nose.
“Sleeping Draught, yes, but not as we know it.” He swirled the vial gently, letting the liquid cling to the sides. “Valerian, obviously. Lavender. Flobberworm.” His tone was flat, automatic, as if listing ingredients was the most natural thing in the world.
But then he hesitated. His expression shifted, subtle but telling, as his nose caught something else buried beneath the bitterness. He leaned closer, inhaling again, slower.
“…And something rarer,” he murmured, frowning now. “This isn’t just a sedative. There’s African Sea Salt in here. Moondew too. Both are rare, expensive, and not meant to be paired with this many soporifics.” He lowered the vial slightly, his brow furrowing deeper. “The Sea is stabilizing. Moondew—”
“What about it?” James asked, his voice tight.
Remus’ gaze flicked to Regulus, then back to the vial.
“It’s used to keep the awareness. To stop the mind from fully shutting down. This will make your consciousness… intact. Awake. Forced to watch as the brain dreams.”
The fire snapped loudly, a harsh crack in the silence that followed.
Regulus’ mouth twitched, not quite a smile.
“Exactly what I need.”
Sirius slammed his glass on the table, amber liquid sloshing over the rim.
“Exactly what you need? That shit sounds like poison, Reg! Merlin’s beard, you’re just going to swallow it because Muldoon handed it to you?”
“It won’t kill him,” Remus said, though his voice was cautious. “Not unless the dosage is wrong.”
“Comforting,” James muttered, but he didn’t move his eyes from Regulus.
Regulus took the vial from Remus’ hand, weighing it in his palm. The liquid shimmered faintly in the firelight, dark and untrustworthy, like a pool that promised to drown you the moment you stepped inside.
“Love, we can find another way,” James whispered.
“There is no other way.” Regulus tilted the vial between his fingers. “Besides, I’ve drunk worse. Half the potions Slughorn brewed in class had more chance of killing us than this does.”
“This isn’t class. This isn’t a bloody prank,” James snapped, taking a step closer. His hands curled into fists at his sides. “You’re talking about throwing yourself into Merlin-knows-what, with no way out. And you want me to sit here and watch?”
“Yes,” Regulus met his eyes. “Because you trust me. Or, at least, you should.”
“I am. Of course, I am. James fumbled with the words. “If something happens to you, Regulus, I swear I’ll drag you back. I don’t care if I have to carve necromancy out of the darkest corners of this cursed world; I will pull you back. Do you understand me?”
“You’d be a terrible necromancer, I’d wager. You’d probably raise me without a head, or worse—” He smirked faintly, though his hand trembled as he lifted the vial in a mock toast.
James’ throat worked as if he wanted to answer, but the words snagged somewhere too deep to speak.
Regulus tipped the vial back. The draught was bitter, cloying, like swallowing iron and ash. He managed one final crooked smile at James before the world swam.
The room lurched sideways. Voices blurred into meaningless hums, shapes smeared into shadow. He tried to keep his eyes open, to make one last barb, but the weight pressed down mercilessly.
And then, darkness surged.
When his eyes opened again, the abandoned village stretched before him, exactly as before—the crooked houses, the empty windows, the manor brooding on its hill. He exhaled, a sharp plume of mist in the cold air, and felt the pull start immediately, coiling tight in his chest like a hooked line.
“…Back again,” he muttered, voice echoing too loud in the void.
He didn’t go to the manor. Nor to the small, half-collapsed cottage.
Regulus turned his back on both and walked toward the entrance of the village. It was eerily familiar, a smaller, distorted echo of Hogsmeade. The streets were narrow, cobblestones uneven, slick with a mist that seemed to seep from the ground itself. Windows were shuttered and dusty, doors hanging slightly ajar as if waiting for someone who would never come. Signs above the closed shops swung lazily in the wind, creaking and whining, each movement a ghostly whisper. Some signs had peeled paint, words faded so only fragments remained: Apothecary…Meat Shop…Broomsticks.
The sky overhead was the same dull grey he had grown used to in these dreams, but the light was flat, colourless, as though the sun had forgotten how to rise. Shadows clung to the corners of the buildings, stretching and twitching unnaturally as he passed. The air smelled faintly of woodsmoke and rot, a strange mixture that made his stomach tighten.
The main street forked into two paths. One veered toward a small enclosure of iron gates, the unmistakable smell of damp earth and decayed flowers drifting faintly from within. Regulus recognized the scene. Another graveyard. He shook his head and turned down the second path.
This route carried him further from the village’s centre. The houses leaned toward him like old men with secrets, their roof tiles cracked and sagging, chimneys crooked and hollow. He passed a pub, its door barely hanging on hinges, the wooden sign swaying in the wind: The Hanged Man. The lettering was jagged, and the black paint was chipped and peeling. The air around it seemed heavier, almost viscous, a subtle dread pressing in through his chest.
“Lovely,” Regulus muttered under his breath, though his voice sounded hollow in the stillness. He skirted the pub’s threshold, noting the faint scratch of something moving inside, though no light came from within. A sense of being observed prickled at his skin, tiny hairs rising along his neck and arms.
He continued down the cobbled street, noting the details with careful attention. Rusted lampposts leaned at odd angles, their lanterns long since extinguished, glass panes fractured and spiderwebbed. A wind whispered through narrow alleys, carrying with it distant, unplaceable sounds—a creak of wood, a rustle of something alive, faint murmurs that might have been voices. He could feel the weight of empty windows watching him, the hollow gaze of abandoned shops following his every step.
Somewhere above, a crow cawed sharply, wings cutting the grey sky. The sound was oddly loud, unnaturally close, echoing through the narrow streets. It made him flinch, but he kept walking, boots clicking against the slick stones.
Regulus reached the entrance of the village and squinted, searching for anything that might tell him where he was.
The ground was littered with debris: shards of pottery, broken glass, splintered wood. Bones lay scattered among them, yellowed and brittle. At first, he thought they belonged to animals, then he saw the unmistakable shapes: femurs, ribs, skulls. Human. Their hollow sockets stared up at him like mute witnesses. A shiver ran down his spine, but he knelt anyway, brushing aside dirt and dust with trembling hands.
Beneath the pile, he found it. A small, rotted sign, its paint flaking, edges gnawed by time. He ran his fingers over the cracked wood, wincing at the coarse texture, then swiped the remaining dust away. The letters emerged slowly, stubbornly, and grimly.
Little Hangleton.
They sat in a rough half-circle around the low table, maps and notations spread between them, while the fire threw hard light on faces that had stopped being young the moment the war began. Conversation was quiet, every sentence measured. There was no room now for grandstanding or gallows humour.
“That’s Voldemort’s village.” Cassiopeia’s voice cut through the low murmur of the room like a silver blade. She set her wineglass down with an almost delicate clink; her long, lacquered nails tapped the rim as if to a metronome. “Are you absolutely certain that was what was written on the sign?”
“One hundred percent.” Regulus was on his feet again, pacing for the fifth time, the hem of his cloak whispering against the carpet. He could feel the room tilting slightly when he moved, the way it always did when he walked too fast.
“And you plan on going there… alone?” Rabastan asked from where he was perched on the armchair.
Regulus stopped mid-step and turned.
“Not alone.” He met James’ eyes across the room. James puffed his chest and nodded sternly. “We’ll go together.”
Sirius opened his mouth, the retort already on the tip of it, but James preempted him with a small, stubborn lift of his chin.
“It’s useless, Padfoot. I’m not changing my mind.”
Sirius’ head whipped toward Regulus; the old assault of disbelief and protective fury was immediate. Rabastan, however, only raised an eyebrow and let a slow smile spread—half amusement, half calculation.
“You plan to walk into Voldemort’s village at night because you read a rotten sign under a pile of bones?” His tone was more incredulous than concerned.
Cassiopeia leaned forward, eyes narrowing as though she might coax the truth out by force.
“Little Hangleton. It is not a name to throw around like a trinket, Regulus. You are certain the dream led you there?”
Regulus’ jaw set. He felt the pulse of the Mark along his forearm, a constant, hot reminder of why he could not afford indecision now.
“I’ve dreamed of the place before. The same thing happened with the locket. I know the pull. I have to follow it.”
Remus, who had been unusually silent, folded his long fingers together and spoke quietly, with that slow, underplayed gravity he always carried.
“When are you leaving?”
“Tonight. I don’t want to wait too long. If everything goes well, we’ll be back before sunrise.”
“And if it doesn’t?” Cassiopeia looked at him from over her glass.
Sirius straightened his back at the question.
Regulus looked at her, but refused to answer.
There was no way in hell he would allow something to happen to James. To him? Yeah, sure, he’s been on the brink before. But James? He’d drag him out of Death’s clutches with his teeth if necessary.
“James and I go in.” He finally spoke. “We Apparate to the edge of the village—two paces beyond where the cottages begin, but short of the manor’s sightlines. We move low, avoid obvious paths. If I feel the pull, I follow it and signal you.”
Rabastan’s expression sharpened.
“Define ‘signal.’ We need something immediate and unmistakable. Not a whispered charm that could be mistaken.”
Regulus looked at Remus; Remus nodded.
“My Patronus,” Regulus said. “I will send it the moment I become aware that I need to go deeper.”
“Remus and I will wait at the south ridge, three hundred paces from the village edge. We will station there so we can see the sky above the village and the roadways leading into it. If the Patronus doesn't fly toward us, we move in along the pre-arranged route and extract.”
“But—” Regulus spoke, but Sirius surprised the room by speaking up then, not with his usual angry heat but with a cold, clear edge.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Rabastan is right.” The admission shocked the circle into sharper attention. He rubbed a hand over his face and met Regulus’ eyes. “There is courage in what you propose, but bravery without structure is useless. If you go, you will have structure. You will have cover. You will have an extraction.”
Regulus let the words land. They were not chiding; they read like a lifeline tossed into a current. He had never expected praise from Sirius, and this felt like something narrower and more necessary—permission to act under constraint.
Lily’s hand rose before anyone could ask her, fingers steady though her face was taut.
“I will be the on-site healer,” she said. “If one of you comes back hurt, I’ll be first there. I will wait at the first extraction point; I will have potions ready for sedatives, stabilizers, and memory-anchoring serums.”
Evan added the wards component in clipped, professional terms.
“I’ll maintain the wards at Grimmauld Place so no one can trace you back while you’re away. I will also keep a backup Apparation point primed in case you need a different exit.”
Barty’s hands found a map, and for once, his grin was gone.
“I will create a diversion two streets over from the manor. I’ll use a delayed alarm charm on a derelict cottage, something that suggests activity without calling guards.” He tapped the grid where he intended to send the diversion. “If the village has watchers, they'll look that way.”
“The village looked deserted.” Regulus frowned at the map.
“Wouldn’t count on that,” Cassiopeia poured herself more wine. “Since the ring, Voldemort turned a little paranoid.”
Rabastan outlined the approach and extraction routes in methodical detail.
“Point A is where you Apparate to — the entrance in the village; Point B is the barn ruin at the village edge. If Point A or one of you is compromised, withdraw to Point B and Apparate back home from there. If both are compromised, do not attempt to do something stupid.”
One by one, they affirmed. The list became a litany of responsibilities and fail-safes: approach lane, staging points, draught administration, mid-operation diversion, extraction timing, healing triage, abort protocol. Each item was not a suggestion but a condition: if X happens, then Y occurs. No heroics. No improvisations.
Before they left to ready themselves, Regulus and James shared a small, private moment. Hands met beneath the table where the maps lay, squeezed, not theatrical, not grand, simply a promise. Regulus’ face was impassive in the light; the Mark under his sleeve pulsed, and he set his jaw.
James’ voice, when he said it, was quiet and unshowy.
“We do this by the book. If you go in, I bring you out.”
The village was exactly the same as it had been in his dream. The same pile of bones heaped across the weathered sign, brittle and white in the half-light. The same sagging, crooked roofs that leaned as though listening. The same heavy air that carried the sharp weight of eyes on the back of his neck.
“No wonder you barely slept,” James whistled, pushing his glasses higher as he turned a slow circle. “Looks like the kind of place even nightmares wouldn’t want to rent.”
Regulus gave a short, impatient tug at his hand.
“Come on. I don’t want to linger here more than necessary. We should check the manor, see if we can find anything useful.”
James stopped dead, boots crunching against gravel.
“Reg, this was not planned.”
Regulus groaned, whirling around with a look that could have curdled milk.
“If that—” he jabbed a finger toward the hulking silhouette at the village’s far end— “is Voldemort’s house, or whatever foul excuse for a family seat his line managed, then there is a high chance we’ll find something important. Something that points us in the right direction.”
“Ten minutes,” James crossed his arms, his stubbornness as immovable as stone.
“What?”
“We go in for ten minutes, then we get out. I don’t care if you didn’t get the time to search under Voldemort’s baby crib for hidden diary entries. We’re not staying long enough to be caught.”
Regulus huffed.
“And who the fuck put you in charge?”
“Me,” James said smoothly, “since you’ve suddenly decided to act like a suicidal brat again.”
“Excuse me?” Regulus bristled.
“Apology accepted,” James replied without missing a beat, already moving forward with maddening calm. “Now, walk. I hate this fucking place.”
Regulus stalked after him, cloak snapping at his heels.
“You are absolutely impossible. I should've taken Remus with me.”
“Sirius would've beheaded you. And, for the record, you adore me,” James shot back over his shoulder.
“I tolerate you,” Regulus corrected icily.
“Which is Regulus-language for deeply enamored,” James teased, lowering his voice in mock secrecy. “Merlin, don’t make me write it down, because I would.”
Regulus rolled his eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t fall out of his head.
“Do that and I’ll hex your quill hand clean off.”
James grinned, unbothered by the threat as he reached for his wand.
“That’s fine. I’m ambidextrous.”
“Of course you are,” Regulus muttered, the disdain in his tone as precise as a scalpel. He fell into step beside James, cloak brushing the wet cobbles.
“You don’t believe me?” James cocked his head, that grin curving into something almost worshipful. “And here I was thinking I’d already proved my point last night.”
Regulus’ lip curled.
“Honestly, you should consider professional help. Your flirting always happens during and after the most questionable situations.”
“Isn’t that the best time?” James said softly, voice low and intimate enough to make Regulus’ skin prick. He reached out, thumb brushing the back of Regulus’ hand in a quick, careless contact that felt urgent and deliberate at once. “Besides, it keeps you on your toes.”
Regulus tightened his fingers against the touch, more reflex than request, and cast his eyes ahead. The main street forked again farther up, the manor a hulking silhouette at the end — a dark tooth against the dim sky, its windows like blind eyes. Between them and that hulking thing lay the Hanged Man, and a scatter of shuttered shops whose names still caught on the corners of his memory: a toymaker, an apothecary with a crooked sun, a bakery whose bread had once warmed children’s hands. Now they were all empty.
James hummed under his breath, a ridiculous little tune that sounded too warm for a place that smelled faintly of death. Regulus tried not to look comforted. He failed; the warmth settled in his chest like contraband.
A loose stone cracked under James’ boot, and both of them snapped their heads toward it at once, reflex honed by too many late nights and near misses.
“Keep your wand up,” Regulus said, quieter than he felt.
They moved like a pair of ghosts through a ghost town, careful, practiced. Every window they passed reflected them back in fractured pieces: James’ grin, Regulus’ tight line. Above them, wind picked at the torn fabric of a shop awning and made it snap like a flag. Regulus swallowed.
Halfway to the manor, James slowed and fell into step beside him, voice dropping until it was only for him.
“If—if anything happens in there, you promise me you’ll snag whatever you can and get out. I can drag you; I will drag you. Don’t stay because you think you have to see it through alone.”
Regulus looked at him then, the way he only ever did in moments that refused to be ordinary. James’ face had the set of someone who had watched too much death and decided not to lose the things he loved without a fight. There was no bravado in it; just terrible, steady love.
“I will,” Regulus said. He let the word be small and fierce. “I don’t intend to make you practise necromancy tonight, James. You’d be far too ugly with a shovel.”
James laughed, a real one this time, brief and bright.
“I’ll be absolutely hideous for you,” he said, and the sound of it dissolved the surrounding dread for a breath.
They climbed the last steps, and the manor filled the road: its gate iron-black, flaked with old rust, flanked by two pillars that might once have borne heraldic beasts. The path up to it was overgrown, a ribbon of coiling weeds and cracked flagstones. The air felt thinner here, as if the world held its breath and waited for them to break it.
Regulus’ hand found James’ again, not to ask but to anchor.
“Ready?” he asked, voice level.
James’ fingers tightened around his.
“Always.”
The manor swallowed them whole the moment the doors closed behind.
The air was stale, heavy with damp stone and something faintly metallic that clung to the back of the throat. Dust lay thick across every surface, disturbed only by their footsteps, muffled against the cracked marble floors. Portraits hung crooked along the hallway, their canvases eaten away by time, faces blurred into shadows, frames gnawed by woodboring beetles.
The dining hall had once been grand, its long table still stretching from end to end, though the wood had warped and split with age. Chandeliers dangled above them, crystals cracked, their chains rusted. James ran a hand across the back of a chair as they passed, fingertips leaving trails in the dust.
The library came next — shelves bowing under the weight of forgotten tomes. Pages littered the floor like the remains of a flock of birds, yellowed and curling. A single chair sat by the hearth, its velvet seat gnawed through, the stuffing exposed like entrails. Regulus’ eyes lingered there for a moment too long before forcing himself to continue.
The kitchen was worse: pans corroded into nothing, the hearth dark and cold, a cauldron overturned in the corner with something unrecognizable hardened within. A shattered teacup lay beneath the window. He could almost see the outline of where a servant might once have stood, hands red from scrubbing, glancing nervously over their shoulder.
They pressed on, through narrow corridors where the wallpaper peeled like dead skin. Every door they passed, Regulus pushed open with a flick of his wand, every shadow interrogated. Nothing but emptiness greeted them.
And then—
They came upon a set of tall double doors at the end of a corridor. The wood was blackened around the handles, as though fire had licked at them once but hadn’t consumed them entirely. Regulus stopped dead. His breath caught, sharp and sudden, and his hand rose, trembling just faintly, to the brass handle. Slowly, he pushed the doors open.
“James…” His voice was a thin thing, almost not there, a thread unwinding in a room that had kept its silence for years.
James closed the distance between them in two quick steps, the soft scrape of his boots dying in the dusty air.
“What is it?” he asked, low and immediate—ready in a way that made Regulus’ chest both ache and steady.
Regulus hesitated, swallowing against something that tasted like blood. For a long moment, he could not speak, then the words came slowly, pulled from a well he’d not visited in years.
"I've been here before."
“You mean in your dreams?” James prompted, hope and caution braided together.
Regulus shook his head, a motion that cut the air.
“No.” He stepped forward, boots whispering over the warped floorboards. His eyes trailed over a raised dais crouched under a cloak of shadow. “My mother brought me here one winter. We Apparated straight to this room.”
“Why would she bring you here?”
Regulus’ throat worked.
“I…I thought we were going to see Grandfather Pollux,” he said, as if naming the expectation would make it less monstrous. “But Mother brought me here instead. She kneeled there, on that spot.” He tapped the air toward the dais. “She bowed her head, and she whispered something. I was small then. I remember the floor was cold, even through my boots. Her perfume smelled like incense and something musty, like death flowers. She looked…very strict. Like a woman who had made a decision.”
James listened, every muscle in him rigid, but he did not interrupt.
“I didn’t understand,” Regulus went on. “I remember kneeling because she had told me to, and then she… presented me.” The word tasted sour in his mouth. Presented. A child at an unveiling. “She made me bow my head. Then there was a voice—it belonged to someone that I didn’t know. Not Father. Not any uncle I’d ever met. It was soft and sibilant, and it had a way of making every small thing in the room feel necessary. It sounded frail and so, so old. Like a dying person.” He swallowed. “He told my mother that she brought honour to the family. He…touched my forehead.” Regulus’ lips thinned. “It was trivial, a casual touch. But when he did, I felt like something cold moved under my skin.”
James’ face changed at that—the easy levity dropped away and something like fierce comprehension settled in.
“She presented you to Vodemort?” James spat the words venomously.
Regulus kept talking because the memory had a taste of absolution in it, and because keeping it inside felt worse.
“I thought it was some game of alliances,” he said, voice flat. “A demonstration of loyalty. All those dinners were rehearsals, apparently. The presentation was a ritual. My mother said it would secure our standing. She said she was ensuring the family would be seen as steadfast. Unshakeable. I… I was a child who wanted to be useful. I never knew he was the one I met that night. In her own, twisted way, she believed that she was protecting us.” He closed his eyes for a second. “But protection at that price isn’t protection. It’s a trade. I was not only shown off; I was put forward.”
James’ breath came out in a hard, single exhale.
“Merlin,” he said, the word a lit fuse. “They planned this. From how—how long ago?”
Regulus felt the chill of memory like an old wound splitting open.
“The winter before the first year. But the rest have been happening since I can remember—gifts, instruction, rehearsals. I thought I was simply obedient; I thought it was duty. Now I see I was chased into a corner and told to stand still.”
A long silence filled the room, heavy and full. Something had shifted—an axis turned. The manor, the dais, the dusty air that tasted of old commands, all seemed suddenly like parts of a machine built to make him useful to a future that was not even his own.
James softened then, his voice barely a whisper but absolute.
“You never deserved that. None of it. Whatever they put in you, whatever they called you into—” He let the sentence hang. “You don’t have to carry it for them.”
Regulus opened his eyes. For an instant, he looked like a boy again, fearful and furious, and then he straightened.
“I know,” he said. “That’s why we are here. To find what they hid, what they thought belonged only to them. To unravel whatever use they cut me into and turn it back on them.”
The floorboards creaked as Regulus finally pulled his hand free from James’, his eyes cutting toward the far corner of the room where a narrow stairwell disappeared into shadow.
“Come,” he said, voice clipped, though there was something tight in it, something older than the dust choking the room.
James hesitated, glancing back at the dais, at the weight of what had just been said, but Regulus was already moving, already descending the narrow steps into darkness.
The cellar smelled of damp stone and earth. Rows of empty racks lined the walls, where bottles of vintage wine and brandy should have stood, all gone now. The ceiling was low enough that James had to duck, and his voice echoed softly against the stone.
“Love, what are we doing down here?”
Regulus’ fingers skimmed over the wall, pale against the blackened stone.
“Every pureblood family has them,” he said flatly, as though reciting a grim inheritance. “Corridors. Hidden tunnels that link one house to another. Old magic. Ancient pacts. My father used to boast about how the Blacks were the most intricate, impossible to map.” He tapped the wall lightly, listening for the hollow note behind it. “My assumption is that those aren’t too different.”
James frowned, his hand tightening around his wand.
“You mean to tell me there are bloody secret passageways connecting all of your haunted mausoleums together? Brilliant. That’s not sinister at all.”
Regulus ignored the jab, pressing closer to the wall. He crouched, eyes narrowing on the uneven stones near the base. His fingers traced a fine crack—a crevice that almost looked like nothing, unless you knew what to look for.
“There,” he murmured. He raised his wand and whispered, “Revelio.”
The spell shimmered over the stone, and slowly, like ink spreading across parchment, the outline of a door bled into sight. A dark tunnel yawned open, its breath damp and cold as a tomb. The air that poured out smelled of soil left undisturbed for centuries.
James let out a low whistle, leaning over his shoulder to peer inside.
“Well, that’s welcoming. I can practically hear the spiders cheering for us.”
Regulus didn’t answer. His gaze stayed fixed on the darkness beyond, his jaw tight.
“These corridors are meant for retreat,” he said, voice low, measured. “For survival. Which means that there is a high chance that they end somewhere outside.”
James tilted his head, studying him in the pale light spilling from his wand.
“And now you’re going to use it, right?”
For a moment, the corner of Regulus’ mouth lifted—grim, sharp, and tired.
“That’s the idea.”
The tunnel yawned wider, waiting. James exhaled through his nose, brushing Regulus’ shoulder lightly before stepping closer to the entrance.
“Then let’s see where this takes us.”
Notes:
Also, because we all know that I am a nerd, the flowers also have significance.
In floriography, the iris symbolises faith, courage, valour, and hope.
Sirius mentions that there were red and white flowers in Rabastan's house. Red is for profound love and affection, while white is for pure love and good luck . Yes, Rab is a big softieThe African Sea Salt sea is an ingredient for Draught of Living Death, while Moondew is for Wiggenweld Potion (an antidote for sleeping draught and the Draught of Living Death). Yes, I did my homework
Chapter 41: A snake's legacy
Summary:
Lily Evans, the woman that you are 🧎♀️
Chapter Text
The tunnel swallowed them whole.
It was narrow, the ceiling so low even Regulus had to hunch his shoulders, his wandlight casting long, quivering shadows across the slick stone walls. The air was damp and carried that same earthy scent of roots and rot that James remembered from the passageways beneath Hogwarts. It reminded him of the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack, only this one felt… heavier. Older.
“Comforting,” James muttered, ducking under a low arch. “Feels just like sneaking off to Honeydukes. Except instead of chocolate frogs at the end, we’ll probably find death.”
“Your optimism is nauseating,” Regulus replied flatly, his voice echoing faintly in the close space.
The tunnel wasn’t long—twists and turns, yes, but nothing labyrinthine. Still, each step felt stretched, heavy with anticipation, until finally the air shifted and turned colder.
Sharper.
At the end of the passage loomed a door. Old, crooked, its wood warped and splintered, as though it had been left to rot centuries ago. The hinges sagged, rust eating into them, and yet it stood, stubbornly barring whatever lay on the other side.
James stopped just short of it, eyes narrowing.
“That looks inviting.”
“Quiet,” Regulus whispered lifting a hand. His head tilted slightly, and James followed his gaze. That was when he heard it. A sound like air slithering over stone.
Hissing.
James stiffened, wand tightening in his grip.
“Tell me that’s not what I think it is.”
Regulus didn’t answer. His jaw clenched, his eyes shuttered, but he already knew. He knew where the tunnel had delivered them. His voice dropped to a whisper, taut with control.
“Stay still.”
He raised his wand, pale knuckles gleaming in the light, and with a swift, practiced motion, conjured his Patronus. The silver form of the lion purred once before darting forward, phasing through stone as Regulus sent it winging toward Remus and Rabastan outside the village.
He turned his head then, his gaze locking onto James, sharp and commanding.
“Listen to me. Whatever happens when I open this door, you follow my lead. No questions. No heroics. You do exactly what I say, or we don’t walk out of here.”
James frowned, bristling instinctively.
“Regulus—”
“Swear it.” Regulus’ voice cracked like a whip, hard enough that the air in the tunnel seemed to contract around them.
For a long moment, James held his gaze. Stubborn. Defiant. But something in Regulus’ eyes—dark, knowing, laced with an exhaustion that had no room for compromise, made his chest tighten. He swallowed, then gave the smallest of nods.
“Fine. I’ll follow your orders. No heroics.”
“Good.” Regulus turned back to the door, wand lifted, shoulders squared. His breath was steady, but James could see the tightness in his jaw, the subtle tremor in his fingers before he clenched them into stillness.
And then, with deliberate pressure, he pushed.
The door groaned open, wood splintering under the strain, and a draft of air swept past them—cold, rank, touched with something that made James’ stomach twist.
On the other side lay a kitchen.
Abandoned. Broken tiles, warped counters, a hearth choked with soot. The stench of decay hung heavy, curling in the back of James’ throat. But it wasn’t the ruin that made him freeze. It was the familiarity in Regulus’ eyes, the way he whispered, low and certain—
“The Horcrux is here.”
And in the corners, just beyond the light of their wands, the hissing continued.
James froze, his eyes darting downward. The first one appeared by his boot—scaled, glistening, its tongue flickering as it slid across the warped floorboards. Then another, and another. Small, wiry shapes moving through cracks in the wood, curling around chair legs, slithering through gaps in the stone. Within seconds, the floor seemed alive, the serpents winding in slow, deliberate patterns at their feet.
“Bloody hell,” James whispered, his wand jerking toward them. “Tell me we can hex them, because if one of these bastards climbs my leg—”
“Don’t.” Regulus’ voice was low. His hand shot out, fingers tightening around James’ wrist before the spell could form. “You’ll make it worse.”
James swallowed hard, forcing his wand down. His pulse hammered in his throat, and yet when he glanced at Regulus, there was no hesitation in him. His face was pale, his lips pressed into a thin line, but his gaze was fixed forward, toward the hallway yawning beyond the kitchen.
Regulus exhaled slowly, then looked at James.
“Stay here.”
James blinked.
“What? No.”
“James.” Regulus’ tone snapped, louder this time. “You stay here. I’ll deal with it.”
“Not a chance.” James squared his shoulders, ignoring the ripple of unease crawling up his spine as another snake slid past. “If you think I’m letting you walk into that bloody hallway alone while I sit here twiddling my thumbs, then—”
“Stop.” The word cracked sharply, cutting him off. Regulus turned fully now, eyes blazing, the control in his voice threaded with something raw. “Stop being difficult. I’ve done this before.”
James froze.
The words landed like a blow, leaving the air between them hollow. He stared at him, unblinking, his chest tight. And for just a moment, Regulus saw the flicker of hurt in James’ eyes. Not from the danger around them, not from the snakes still circling their ankles, but from him.
From the wall he had just slammed down.
The silence stretched between them. James’ jaw clenched, his lips parting as though to argue again, but then he stopped. He dropped his gaze, his voice quieter, rough-edged.
“Fine. If that’s what you want.”
The weight of it struck Regulus harder than he expected. His chest tightened, his control faltered, and for the briefest of moments, he looked away, unable to bear the look on James’ face. He hated this. Hated that James, of all people, could be wounded by him more deeply than the Dark Lord himself ever managed.
He sighed, the sound heavy, dragging.
“James.”
The name cracked softer now, softer than it should have been, almost breaking on his tongue. His hand lifted, hovered near James’ arm, though he didn’t quite touch him.
“I’m sorry. I…just trust me on this.”
James’ lips pressed into a thin line. He nodded once, but the shadow in his eyes lingered.
Regulus inhaled, steadying himself, then turned away before the pull of that look could unravel him completely, and crossed into the hallway. The snakes parted soundlessly, slithering back into the walls as though guided by something unseen.
And then he was gone, swallowed by the shadows of the corridor.
James was left standing in the kitchen alone, the silence wrapping tight around him. The sound of hissing lingered faintly, like a warning still coiled in the air. He tightened his grip on his wand, his heartbeat a thunder in his ears, and stared after the place where Regulus had disappeared.
Waiting.
Fighting every instinct in his body not to follow.
Regulus moved slowly, every step deliberate, the tip of his wand casting light that clung to the walls like mist. The hissing grew louder with each pace—an endless chorus that writhed and echoed, as if the very stones of the shack carried the serpents’ voices. He knew where this path led. He had seen it, night after night, in his dreams. The walls pressed in, the air thick and damp, until at last the corridor opened, and there it was.
The room.
It was exactly as his mind had conjured it: narrow windows blackened with grime, their glass fractured into webs. A long, scarred table sat in the center, its surface warped and splintered, the wood darkened by age. The light fell unevenly here, shadows bending in strange, unnatural angles, as though the room itself was resisting illumination.
Regulus stopped in the doorway. His breath caught because there—resting atop the table—lay the little box.
Rectangular, its edges worn down with time. Once, it must have been beautiful; now the green velvet was dulled, frayed at the corners, patches rubbed bare to the wood beneath. But despite its ruin, the box radiated presence, a pull that clawed into his chest and dragged. His Mark flared against his skin, burning hot enough that his hand trembled around the wand.
The hissing swelled, louder now, urgent, and agitated. The snakes that had parted in the corridor were slamming against the walls, striking at nothing, their bodies thrashing like waves against rock.
Regulus’ breath came shorter, shallower. The pull was suffocating—he felt it burrow into his mind, his bones. It wasn’t merely calling him; it was demanding him. His pulse raced, each beat louder than the last, until it drowned the sound of his thoughts.
He forced himself forward, one step, then another.
The box pulsed faintly under the wandlight, as though it was alive, breathing in some rhythm alien to his own. The Mark burned hotter, and his knees nearly buckled. He braced against the table, cold sweat slicking his palms, and with trembling fingers, he touched the velvet.
The hiss cracked into a roar.
He wrenched the lid open.
Inside, laid out upon a square of faded silk, was a ring.
Gold, though time had dulled its gleam. Heavy, ornate, its band carved with twisting runes he did not recognize. But it was the stone that held him captive: large, black, fractured through the center. The crack spread like lightning frozen in glass, each fissure sharp as a blade. Even damaged, the stone exuded a power that prickled across his skin like frost and flame both.
The pull was unbearable now. Stronger, far stronger than the locket. This was not just an object; it was hunger.
Regulus’ chest heaved, his throat tightening.
He wanted to touch it—Merlin help him, he wanted to slip it onto his finger, to feel what it promised. Power. Knowledge. A hand pressed against his ribs from inside, something cold and vast, threatening to tear him open if he resisted.
And beneath that hunger, there was something even stranger. Recognition. Not of sight or smell, but of marrow. The ring not only called to him; it greeted him. It felt like returning to a place he had never visited but somehow belonged to. As if some shard of himself had been waiting in that cracked stone all along, and now, at last, it had found him.
His Mark seared like fire branded anew, and for the first time in years, true fear swept through him. It was not just Voldemort’s magic pressing against his skin; it was the ring, pulling him closer, whispering in the same cadence as the dreams.
This was not a dream.
This was real.
With a jerk of his wrist, he tore his gaze away from the cracked stone and reached into his cloak. His fingers closed around the small glass vial—cool against his palm, heavier than it should have been. Inside, the basilisk venom swirled sluggishly, iridescent green and black, catching the wandlight.
His Mark pulsed violently, as if it sensed what he intended.
The serpents around the room seemed to sense it, too. Their hissing escalated into shrieks, their bodies thrashing in a frenzy. Some struck against the air itself, snapping jaws missing him by mere inches. The sound was deafening, a cacophony of scales and fury, echoing through the shack until it felt as though the walls themselves were shaking.
Regulus gritted his teeth and pulled the cork with a trembling hand. The scent of venom hit him instantly. It coated the back of his throat, bitter and choking. He forced his fingers to steady, forced his breath to slow, even as his pulse thundered against his ribs.
“Not this time,” he whispered hoarsely, though whether to the Horcrux or himself, he didn’t know.
He tilted the vial, and one drop fell.
It struck the cracked stone, and the effect was instantaneous. The ring flared with a sickly light, the fissures in the black gem bleeding with white fire. A sound ripped through the room—a scream so sharp, so inhuman, it tore into his ears, rattling his skull. It was not sound, not truly, but agony made audible. The very air convulsed, vibrating with rage and despair.
Black smoke erupted from the ring, thick and writhing like a living thing. It coiled upward, twisting into faces that sneered, eyes hollow and endless, mouths open in silent curses. The smoke lashed outward, reaching for him, claws forming in the dark haze.
The snakes went mad.
They launched themselves at him, bodies cracking against the table legs, fangs snapping, their eyes wild with frenzy. One nearly sank its teeth into his calf, but he kicked it back with a snarl, wand flashing.
“Protego!”
A shimmering shield burst to life around him, and still the smoke slammed against it, shaking its edges, shattering in bursts of sparks. The scream didn’t stop. It filled every crevice of the room, vibrating through the floorboards, pressing into his chest until it felt like his ribs might snap.
The ring pulsed, furious.
Regulus’ arm shook violently, the vial still in his grip. He forced his wrist to tilt again. Another drop. Then another.
Each one brought another scream, louder, more piercing, until he could feel blood dripping from his ears. The black smoke clawed at the ceiling, the walls, pressing against the shield with animal desperation, while the snakes slammed against it with such force that cracks began to spread along the spell’s surface.
“Stay—down!” Regulus shouted through clenched teeth, his voice breaking, though it was unclear if he meant the Horcrux or the serpents.
And then—
The ring shrieked one final time, the sound splitting through the house like glass shattering. The smoke convulsed, splintered, and collapsed inward, sucked violently back into the cracked stone. The snakes writhed once, twice, and then fell still, their bodies limp against the floor.
The room plunged into silence.
Regulus staggered back, his wand shaking in his fist, the empty vial slipping from his grasp and shattering against the stone. His knees nearly buckled. His lungs burned. His Mark throbbed with an ache so deep it felt like something was clawing from the inside out.
But the pull was gone.
The Horcrux was destroyed.
Regulus’ chest heaved as he reached for the stone with a trembling hand. His skin burned just from brushing it, but he curled his fingers tight around the ruined stone anyway. He would not leave it behind. He would not let it out of his sight.
The room tilted, and his knees hit the floor before he realized he was falling. Pain lanced through his skull, his ears ringing, something hot and wet dripping from his nose and down his lip. His vision blurred red.
“Regulus!”
The voice was distant, muffled—no, it wasn’t. He turned his head, blinking sluggishly.
James was running to him, hair a wild mess, glasses askew, wand drawn. His face, Merlin, his face, was stricken, pale with something between fury and fear. He dropped to his knees, hands already on Regulus, catching him before he pitched forward fully.
“Bloody hell, you’re bleeding—” James’ voice cracked as he pressed his sleeve to Regulus’ nose, then cursed under his breath when crimson smeared across his hand. “Ears too. Shit. Shit. Love, look at me—look at me.”
Regulus tried, but his eyes fluttered. The weight of exhaustion was crushing, his body begging to sink into the dark.
“Don’t you dare,” James snapped, shaking him lightly, not cruel but desperate. “Don’t you fucking dare close your eyes right now. You hear me? You stay with me.”
His hand cupped Regulus’ jaw, thumb dragging against the clammy skin. James leaned close, voice breaking.
“If you pass out, I’ll hex your arse all the way back to Grimmauld. I swear, I will.”
A huff of air escaped Regulus—half laugh, half choke. His lips curved faintly, but the blood on them made the sight unbearable.
“Yeah, that’s it,” James muttered frantically, shifting so Regulus’ arm was slung over his shoulder. “Talk back to me, love. Call me names, threaten to poison my tea, slit my throat, anything. Just don’t—don’t close your eyes, okay?”
He lifted him upright, one arm tight around his waist, practically carrying him when Regulus’ legs buckled. Regulus could feel the rough boards under his boots, then the crunch of gravel as James half-dragged, half-walked him out of the shack.
The night air hit him like a slap, cold and sharp. He sucked it in greedily, though his chest still stung, every breath a battle.
James didn’t stop moving. He kept talking, voice low and constant, as if words alone could keep Regulus here.
“See? Fresh air. That’s good. Means you’re still breathing, means you’re still with me. Don’t you even think about checking out, Reg. Not when I’ve still got a million things to annoy you with. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
The village stretched silent and dead around them, dead snakes crunching under their boots as James steered them down the main path. Every house leaned like it might collapse, shadows flickering in the broken windows. But James didn’t look at them—he kept his gaze locked on Regulus, kept one hand steadying him, the other gripping his wand in case anything moved.
“Talk to me,” James urged again, his voice raw now. “Tell me how much you hate me. Tell me this was a terrible idea. Hell, tell me you regret ever shagging me—just give me something so I know you’re still in there.”
Regulus’ lips parted, a faint rasp of sound escaping. It wasn’t words, not really, but James’ eyes lit like he’d been handed salvation itself.
“That’s it. That’s enough. Keep going. We’re almost there.”
They reached the ruins of the barn at the edge of the village—the shattered stone arch they’d marked as their apparition point. The open space was a godsend, the night sky stretching vast above them. James lowered him gently against the stones, kneeling in front of him, hands pressed to his shoulders like he could hold him upright by sheer will.
“Stay awake,” James begged, his voice cracking now. “Regulus, I mean it. Don’t fucking leave me here.”
He shook his head fiercely, eyes bright with tears he refused to shed.
“If you die on me, I’ll drag you back, I swear it. I’ll make you so bloody miserable you’ll regret it for eternity. So you don’t get to quit.”
The world spun, and Regulus felt himself falling, but James’ hands were there, steadying, grounding. His words—his fury, his fear, his stubborn, unyielding love—were louder than the ringing in his skull.
“Regulus. Love. Look at me. Stay awake—”
A burst of light cut through the darkness, green and gold sparks unfurling like petals. Then Lily was there. She didn’t run—Lily never wasted her energy in panic. She strode forward with purpose, her wand already raised.
James all but collapsed with relief.
“Lils—thank Merlin—you need to—he’s bleeding—”
“I can see that,” Lily said sharply, kneeling at Regulus’ side. She brushed James’ frantic hands out of the way with a practiced flick, her face calm, eyes sharp as emeralds. “Move. You’re in my light.”
James swallowed hard and shuffled back, his hands curling into fists as though forcing himself not to grab onto Regulus again.
Lily muttered an incantation, her wand tip glowing a pale blue as she swept it over Regulus’ body. Lines of light traced his veins, his bones, before fading into the air. She repeated it twice, adjusting the angle, then tapped her wand against his sternum.
James leaned forward, his voice tight with fear.
“Well? Tell me. Please, just tell me—”
Lily cut him a look so sharp it silenced him mid-word.
“He’s not dying, James. Stop panicking because you are also making him nervous.”
The words hit him like a physical blow, his knees nearly giving out in relief.
“Nothing’s ruptured. No curse damage I can detect. The blood is from magical overload. He just pushed himself far too much, and this is his body reacting to the strain.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a vial of something clear, pressing it to Regulus’ lips. “He needs rest, fluids, and absolute quiet.”
James’ hands were trembling. He rubbed them hard against his robes, desperate to keep himself steady.
“Rest. Right. I can do that. I’ll—I’ll carry him home myself if I have to.”
“You did well getting him here.” Lily’s voice softened.
The praise undid him more than anything else. His breath shuddered as he nodded, biting down hard on the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not until he saw Regulus bundled in the bed.
Bootsteps thundered down the path, and moments later Remus and Rabastan burst into view, both of them disheveled and breathless.
“What happened?” Remus demanded, crouching down beside James. His eyes flicked over Regulus, then to the blood still streaking his face. His voice dropped, tight. “Merlin, James—what happened?”
James opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He scrubbed his hands down his face, helpless, his throat locking tight.
“He’s stable,” Lily interjected firmly, cutting off the rising panic before it could spread. “Exhaustion, magical backlash. He’s bled but it’s superficial. He needs quiet, not shouting.”
Rabastan’s jaw clenched, his eyes burning with questions and accusations, but Lily met his glare without flinching.
“Save it. He’s breathing, his heart’s steady, and he’s alive. That’s all you need to know right now.”
Rabastan’s mouth worked, but he said nothing, sinking back against the ruined wall with a ragged exhale.
James, still crouched beside Regulus, brushed a trembling hand over his damp hair, tucking a strand back. His voice was barely audible.
“You hear that, love? You’re fine. You’ll be fine. Just… let’s go home, alright?”
Regulus didn’t stir when James laid him down gently. He only breathed shallowly, lashes fluttering faintly against his pale skin.
The door banged open.
“Move!” Sirius barked, hair a wild mess, eyes sharp with panic. He shoved past James and immediately knelt by the bed, hands hovering frantically over his brother. “What happened? What the fuck happened?”
Before James could answer, Barty came skidding in behind him.
“Oh, for Merlin’s sake, look at him! Pale as a corpse, blood all over him—Reg, you look absolutely dreadful.”
“Shut up,” Sirius snapped, glaring at him before turning back to James. “What happened to him?”
“Too much magic, too fast,” James said quickly, voice tight. “Lily checked him—said it’s nothing permanent. He just needs rest.”
“That’s not good enough.” Sirius’ voice was a low growl, as though he’d bite if anyone dared contradict him. “If something’s wrong with him—if he—”
“Circe’s tits, Sirius,” Lily cut in sharply, striding into the room with all the authority of someone who would not be ignored. She glared at them sharply enough to silence them. “He’s stable. I’ve cast the diagnostics twice. His pulse is steady, his breathing is even, and he’ll recover if he’s left in peace. You want to help? Then get out of my way.”
“Not leaving,” Sirius shot back instantly, chin jutting stubbornly.
“Me neither,” Barty chimed in, throwing himself onto the edge of the bed with a theatrical sigh, sprawling like a cat. “Someone needs to make sure he doesn’t wake up alone and confused. He likes my face better than yours, Black.”
Sirius snarled.
“Get your filthy hands off my baby brother, Crouch.”
“Boys,” Lily snapped, wand flicking toward the door. The handle rattled ominously. “Downstairs. Now. Or so help me, I’ll hex the pair of you so thoroughly you won’t remember your own names until Christmas.”
Sirius blinked, jaw clenching, clearly on the verge of arguing. Barty only grinned wider, clearly entertained.
“Do you want me to count to three?” Lily asked sweetly, though her grip on her wand made the threat lethal.
Sirius muttered something unrepeatable but stood, running a hand through his hair before stalking toward the door. “I’ll be downstairs. But the second he needs me—”
“You’ll be told,” Lily said firmly, not sparing him another glance.
Barty lingered, leaning over Regulus with a crooked smile. “Don’t die, it’s boring without you.” Then, before Lily could hex him, he hopped to his feet and followed Sirius out.
The moment the door shut, silence fell heavy again. James sat back on the mattress, fingers still wrapped around Regulus’ limp hand. His eyes never left Regulus’ face, watching every tiny shift of his chest, every whisper of breath.
The floor creaked, and Rabastan approached the bed, his usual composure strained tight. He glanced at Regulus before turning to James.
“I need to go,” he said quietly.
James’ head whipped around, fury flashing in his eyes.
“Where?”
“I need to meet Cass,” Rabastan said, voice level but sharp with urgency. “If Voldemort gets even the faintest whiff of what happened tonight, we will be dead. Someone has to keep him distracted and make sure to feed him the right lies. And that someone is me.”
James opened his mouth to argue again, but Remus, quiet as ever, laid a hand on his shoulder.
“He’s right, Prongs. Cassiopeia’s the only one who can spin this without suspicion, but Rabastan’s the one Voldemort trusts to bring him word. If they don’t show up, we’ll all be in danger.”
James’ chest rose and fell too fast, his grip tightening on Regulus’ hand. He looked between them, caught between panic and fury.
Mary slipped into the room then, her face softer but no less firm. She crouched in front of James, resting her hands lightly on his knees.
“He’s safe now, James. He’s alive. But he needs sleep—you need sleep. Sitting here all night, staring at him, won’t make him better.”
“I’m not leaving him.” James’ voice cracked on the words.
“No one’s asking you to leave him forever,” Mary soothed. “But he doesn’t need you to wear yourself to the bone. He needs you steady for when he wakes. Let Lily watch over him for now. You’ll be the first face he sees when he opens his eyes. I promise.”
James’ throat bobbed as he tried to swallow past the lump there. His eyes flicked to Lily, who only arched a brow, daring him to argue with her authority again.
He turned back to Regulus, brushing his thumb over the back of his hand. His voice was a whisper, meant only for him.
“I’ll be right here when you wake up, love. Don’t keep me waiting.”
Then, with agonizing reluctance, he stood.
The dining room of Grimmauld Place was thick with tension, the fire spitting and crackling like it shared in their agitation.
Sirius was pacing a trench into the carpet, boots scuffing as he stalked back and forth, muttering under his breath. Every few steps, he’d glance toward the stairs, as if sheer willpower could drag Regulus down to him. His fists kept clenching, unclenching, ready to tear into something, or someone.
Barty lounged on the sofa with false ease, his legs sprawled out, but his eyes betrayed him: too sharp, too restless, darting to the door every time the floor creaked.
“He’ll be fine,” he said, voice pitched too brightly. “Regulus is made of stubbornness and spite. He’d crawl back from the grave just to prove us wrong. Honestly, I’m not even worried.”
“You’re lying through your teeth,” Evan muttered from beside him, gripping his hand when Barty started bouncing his knee too fast. “Sit still before you wear a hole in the floor.”
“I am still,” Barty argued, throwing his head back dramatically. “This is me being the picture of calm. Serenity itself.” His grin was too sharp, his voice slipping toward mania. “Besides, you should’ve seen him—looked like hell, didn’t he, Black? Blood everywhere. But maybe that’s just his new aesthetic—tragic, haunted, gothic—”
“Barty,” Evan whispered, brushing his thumb over Barty's knuckles. “What the fuck happened, anyway?”
James sat heavily in the armchair across from them, hunched forward, elbows on his knees. His voice, when he finally spoke, was low and tight.
“We went to the manor. It was abandoned, but Regulus was right. There was something there.”
Sirius froze mid-pace, his head whipping around.
“What the fuck do you mean? Why did you go inside—”
“Snakes,” James continued, ignoring the explosion brewing in his friend. “Dozens of them. And a shack, just like the one Reg saw in his dreams. There was—something there. A box, a ring. I don’t know exactly what he did, but it nearly tore him apart.” His jaw clenched, and he dragged his hand through his hair. “If Lily hadn’t been there—”
The words strangled off. The silence that followed was brittle.
Sirius cursed and slammed his fist against the mantel, the fire sputtering in protest.
“Fucking hell, Reg. Why does he always—why does he always do this to himself?” His voice broke on the last word, and he pressed the heel of his hand hard against his eyes.
Barty gave a soft, hollow laugh, the sound scraping.
“Oh, you know him. Martyr complex the size of London. Can’t resist playing savior. It’s endearing if you squint.”
“Shut up, Crouch,” Sirius snapped, his voice ragged.
Before Barty could retort, footsteps creaked on the stairs. All heads snapped up. Lily entered, her hair glinting like flame in the firelight, her wand still in her hand.
Everyone surged to their feet.
“Well?” Sirius demanded.
“He’s sleeping,” Lily nodded. “He’s out of danger. His body just needs rest. No curses, no poisons—nothing we can’t handle.” She gave Sirius a pointed look. “He’s strong. He’ll wake when he’s ready.”
The words lifted some weight from the room, but not enough. James sagged back into his chair, eyes shutting tight as though he could finally breathe. Sirius exhaled sharply, scrubbing at his face.
The next hour passed in restless silence, broken only by the crackle of the fire and the occasional sharp exchange between Barty and Sirius.
Then it came, sudden and violent. A raven Patronus burst through the wall, wings spread wide, its caw echoing like a bad omen. Rabastan’s voice poured from its beak, low and urgent:
“Bellatrix is coming.”
Chapter 42: Playing pretend
Summary:
Helloooo 💕
First of all, I’m sorry for the last chapter’s cliffhanger 😭. Hopefully, this chapter will earn me forgiveness before you all collectively curse me
Second of all, I absolutely LOVE your comments. You’re out here building theories, and I am so weak every time I see one of your questions 😩 It takes everything in me not to just spoil the entire plot
But I need to be strong because I’ve taken some huge liberties with Horcrux lore and Voldemort’s immortality and I really don't want to spoil THE ENTIRE plot
So buckle up because from now on, things will get messy. The plot (and the characters) will be plotting, and finally, the foreshadowing, and Easter eggs will slowly start to click😌
Please, I beg, no voodoo dolls or Eastern European black magic—my Balkan blood will know
Love youuuu, see you in the comments 💕
Chapter Text
The room erupted.
“What?” Sirius roared, straightening like a predator about to strike. “She can’t—he’s not—fuck!”
Barty shot upright from his seat.
“Sit down before I knock you out,” Evan snapped, grabbing his sleeve.
“Regulus is still out cold,” James said sharply, already on his feet, his hand going to his wand. His face was pale, but his eyes burned with resolve. “If she sees him—if she even suspects—”
“She’ll know everything,” Remus finished grimly, his mind already calculating.
For a heartbeat, no one moved. The air was sharp with panic, hearts pounding in unison.
Then Lily’s gaze cut across the room, sharp and decisive. She looked directly at Sirius, her green eyes blazing.
“I have an idea, but I don't think you'll like it,” she said as she took out her wand. “Accio Polyjuice.”
A thin thread of air pulsed from the tip of her wand, and from somewhere upstairs a small phial flew spinning, until it tapped against her palm. The glass was clouded, the liquid inside the colour of graveyard moss. The smell hit them the instant it was uncorked: bitter, sharp, with a greasy undertone.
“What the…” Evan widened his eyes. “Where did you even get that from?”
Remus let out an incredulous laugh.
“So that’s what Illyan’s been brewing. For the love of Merlin—” He pinched the bridge of his nose, nostrils flaring. “It smells as dreadful as the receipts said it would.”
Lily simply set the vial on the low table, and from a small linen pouch, she drew a lock of dark hair and dropped it into the liquid. The potion curled around it like smoke around a candle.
“I need you to drink this,” Lily said, looking straight at Sirius.
Sirius took a step back, then another, as though the distance might change something.
“Wh—what?” His voice was raw, edged with the shock of being handed a thing he’d never imagined he’d be asked to do.
“We don’t have bloody time,” she hissed. “It takes three minutes for a full transformation, and Muldoon assured Cassiopeia that it will hold for longer than an hour. That’s all we have to sell the illusion and get what we need without Bellatrix tearing through the house.”
“Is that—you want me to turn into Reggie??” Sirius took another step back, literally cringing from the idea.
“Absolutely not.” James stepped forward immediately, blocking the space like a wall, his jaw set hard enough to hurt. “I’ll drink it. I’ll do it.”
“No,” Lily said, waving him away, “you don’t know how to deal with Bellatrix, and you need to be here. You’re supposed to be Reggie’s plaything.”
“I’m also supposed to be chained in the cellar and look like shit,” James shot back, his tone somewhere between bitter humour and genuine fury.
“I can work that out,” Barty said brightly. “Make you look properly bedraggled. Ragged. Add a few dramatic bruises.”
James turned his head just enough to glare at him and raised his middle finger without a word.
“Not helpful,” Lily snapped at Barty, then swung back to Sirius. Her eyes softened, but her voice didn’t. “Sirius. We don’t have time for this. You know how to handle her. You know how to pass as Reggie. You’re the only one who does.”
Sirius’ lips parted, but nothing came out at first. He swallowed again, harder this time, the sound audible in the quiet.
“I am so fucking going to regret this,” he sighed and took the vial, then turned to James. “If I catch you thinking or doing something gross, I am locking you in the cellar.”
James raised his arms in surrender.
“Cross my heart and hope to die, Padfoot,” James parroted, ridiculous and teetering on hysterical. He tried to sound calm and utterly failed.
Sirius’ fingers trembled just a little as he raised the vial and cringed at the smell. The liquid slid down his throat, and the transformation began at once: the air thickened around him, and he could feel the muscles in his face starting to shift. A hush fell over the room; even Barty’s attempts at levity stilled.
“Breathe in, breathe out,” Remus ordered quietly and reached to steady Sirius as the world folded inward around him. “Think of him—how he holds himself, not how you imagine it. Keep your spine a little rigid. Don’t smile wide; his smile is small, clipped.”
Everyone bent toward them. James’ fingers found a chair and clenched it with white knuckles. Despite himself, he felt the tremor of a childish, irrational hope that the transformation would make Regulus safe because someone else wore his face.
Sirius’ skin shimmered; his voice shifted, roughening and lowering until it carried a shade of the clipped, cold comfort that was Regulus’ public armour. Eyes went darker, changing into Regulus’ forest green, bearing the same measured caution.
“Think of the way he moves when he’s irritated—economical gestures, not theatrical. Keep your voice flat. Practice a tiny, humourless laugh.” He pressed the words into Sirius’ ears as though they were spells themselves.
Sirius’ voice, now not entirely his, came out different, lower, tighter: a small sound that could have been a laugh if one listened without searching for the man beneath it.
“Good,” Remus said, a soft nod, reading the smallest changes like a physician reading a pulse. “Keep it contained. Do not overplay. She’ll smell it in an instant if you try too hard.”
“Look at you,” Barty murmured, taking a lock of black hair between his fingers with undeserved tenderness. “You could’ve fooled me that you’re not the real thing.”
James snapped, more sharply than he intended.
“Don’t touch him, Crouch.”
The command was raw, animal, and it landed with the force of a thrown object. Barty flinched, and his hand withdrew.
“Remus,” Lily looked at him, “you, me, and Mary will have to leave. We’re not supposed to be here. We’ll move upstairs and wait. Barty, you and Evan stay here. Tell Bellatrix that you’ve come here to have a drink or something. Anything that would pass as an explanation and keep her engaged.”
The moment their footsteps vanished up the staircase, the room grew heavier, as if the very air thickened in their absence. The silence between those who remained was broken only by the soft crack of the fire and the faint, sickly scent of Polyjuice still lingering in the air.
Evan rose from the chair with a kind of weary precision, drawing his wand with an easy flick. He turned toward James, his expression unreadable, his posture too calm.
James immediately stiffened.
“Whoa—hold on.” He backed up a step, palms raising like he was about to defend himself. “What exactly are you planning to do with that?”
Evan didn’t even sigh. He simply blinked once, slow and unimpressed.
“Relax, Potter. If I wanted to curse you, I wouldn’t waste time with a warning.”
“That’s very comforting,” James shot back, though his voice was pitched higher than usual, betraying his nerves.
“You look too clean,” Evan said simply, ignoring the jab. He angled his wand with a kind of detached professionalism. “If you’re supposed to be Reg’s… pet, then you should at least look like you’ve been thoroughly abused.”
James grimaced.
“Brilliant. Because I was just thinking my night needed more degradation.”
Barty snorted from where he lounged on the sofa, legs crossed, head tipped like this was the best entertainment he’d had in weeks.
“Go on, love," he nudged his chin. "Give him a black eye—make him pretty.”
“Shut the fuck up,” James snapped over his shoulder before turning back at Evan.
He flicked his wand once, and instantly a thin cut opened along James’ cheekbone. Not deep, but enough to bead with crimson before drying into a faint scarlet line. Another flick, and a dark bloom spread under James’ left eye, purpling into the kind of bruise that spoke of rough handling. His collar shifted under invisible fingers, leaving faint, red impressions around his throat.
James hissed, jerking back slightly.
“Oi, bloody hell, you could warn a bloke.”
“That was the warning,” Evan said dryly. He tilted his head, studied his work, then added a faint smudge of grime along James’ jaw and neck. He lowered his wand and slid it back into his pocket with finality. “Better. Now you look like you belong.”
James touched his face gingerly, fingers hovering over the false bruise.
“You’re disturbingly good at this.”
Evan’s mouth twitched, something close to humor, but too grim to carry the weight of it.
“Years of practice.”
Barty barked out a laugh.
“See, Potter? You finally look the part. Tragic, pathetic, a little rough around the edges. Bellatrix will eat it up.”
James shot him a glare that could have curdled milk.
“You’re enjoying this far too much.”
“Of course I am,” Barty said, stretching out like a cat. “It’s not every day I get front-row seats to you being humiliated for the greater good.”
Sirius—no, Regulus—lifted his head from where he’d been adjusting the cuff of his sleeve, his voice now carrying that clipped, dangerous edge that wasn’t entirely his own.
“Enough,” he said sharply, green eyes flashing. “We don’t have the luxury to waste energy snapping at each other.”
The room fell briefly quiet, and he let out a startled laugh.
“Fucking shit,” he muttered, lifting a hand to his throat as if he could feel the foreign timbre vibrating there. “I really sound like him.”
James’ knuckles whitened where they clenched against the back of the chair. His lips parted, an instinctive reply forming before he could stop himself, but Barty was quicker.
“Easy, Black, or you’ll make Potter hard. Merlin knows he’s into that kind of talking.”
James’ head whipped toward him, his face already darkening.
“For fuck’s sake, Crouch, could you please just shut the—”
The sound cracked through the room like a gunshot: a sharp pop of Apparition, close—far too close. It echoed off the wards, reverberating like a warning bell. James’ words died on his tongue, his heart plummeting into his stomach.
Everyone froze.
Then came the unmistakable scrape of boots against stone. Slow, deliberate steps circling just outside, echoing as if the air itself carried them deeper into the bones of Grimmauld Place. The noise of the wards hummed faintly under the intrusion, holding, but only just.
The doorknob rattled once.
James’ breath caught in his throat.
It rattled again, harder this time, the sound vibrating against the silence, each twist of metal like the turning of a blade.
Then knuckles slammed against the door, a violent knock that rattled the wood on its hinges, reverberating through the floorboards under their feet.
Once.
Twice.
A third, louder than the last, shaking the very air.
The knock wasn’t just a demand—it was a threat, a declaration. Whoever stood on the other side knew they were feared, and they were here to collect on it.
James’ eyes darted to Sirius. No, Regulus, who now stood perfectly still, green eyes dark and sharp, his spine stiffening with the weight of the role he had no choice but to play.
Barty’s grin faltered, though he still tried to cover it with a flippant hum, tapping his fingers against his knee like it was all some game.
Evan didn’t move, his hand already ghosting near his wand, jaw tight with calculation.
The knock came again, sharper, impatient. And this time, a voice slid through the crack of the door—silken, venomous, and far too familiar.
“Little star…open up.”
“Shit.” Sirius rose from the chair, his borrowed features twisting into the familiar mask of disdain that had been Regulus’ since childhood. He smoothed the front of his robes, shoulders rolling back until he stood as tall and cold as his brother had ever looked. “If one of you,” he hissed, cutting his eyes toward Barty and Evan, “fucks this up, I am going to kill you.”
The room held its breath as he strode to the door. With one final inhale to steel himself, Sirius pulled it open without flourish.
Bellatrix stood framed in the doorway like a curse given flesh. Her chin lifted in that imperious tilt every Black child had been taught before they could walk, her eyes narrowing as if she already smelled betrayal in the air.
“Cousin,” Sirius greeted smoothly, voice even, clipped, perfectly Regulus. “What a joyful surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“You changed the wards,” she said flatly, her gaze flicking over the invisible shimmer of the threshold, her nostrils flaring like a predator scenting blood. “Are you going to let me in, or are manners no longer a thing in this house?”
“Please, do.” Sirius stepped aside with a mockery of courtesy, his hand extending in a polite arc that was all venom in disguise. “Kreacher,” he called.
The old elf popped into existence with a sharp crack, bowing so low his nose nearly touched the floor.
“Take Bella’s cloak.”
Bellatrix’ lip curled, a sneer twisting her mouth as she shrugged off her cloak, and, with deliberate violence, flung it into the elf’s arms. Kreacher winced but caught it, his trembling hands clutching the heavy fabric as he made another low, reverent bow.
“You still keep this snivelling wretch around?” she spat, her eyes gleaming with cruel delight. “No wonder this house smells of weakness.”
“Better him than some of the company you keep,” Sirius returned coldly, shutting the door with a decisive snap.
Her head snapped back toward him, her smile sharp and humorless.
“My, my, Reggie. Such a tongue. Careful—it almost sounds like defiance. And you know how I feel about disobedience.”
“Disobedience?” Sirius let a dry laugh cut the air. “Coming from you, Bella, that’s almost funny. If I recall, the Dark Lord doesn’t reward dramatics, no matter how much you scream and cackle in his presence.
Bellatrix’ eyes narrowed, dark lashes flicking.
“Careful, cousin. You forget yourself.”
“No,” Sirius said softly, stepping closer, “I remember perfectly. I remember the old ways, too. And the old ways teach a little thing called courtesy. A Black does not barge unannounced into another Black’s home and begin barking like a mongrel. A Black requests entry. Formally. With words.”
He let the pause stretch, his eyes cutting into hers.
“Or have you abandoned even that shred of breeding?”
Bellatrix’ nostrils flared, but she smiled—slow, sharp, and absolutely venomous.
“Breeding? From you? You, who dragged the family name through the filth? Spare me your lecture, Reggie. You’re hardly a model of decorum.”
“And yet,” Sirius murmured, tilting his head, “I still know how to knock before entering someone’s house. Or has your devotion to the Dark Lord burned out what little you were taught?”
Her jaw twitched, her fingers tightening around her wand.
“I go where I please.”
Sirius spread his hands as if conceding the point.
“Then at least pretend to ask,” he said. “It’s what separates us from the savages you like to torment. Or perhaps you enjoy arriving like a thief because you know you’re unwelcome.”
For a moment the room vibrated with her contained fury. Then Bellatrix’ grin widened, all teeth.
“Oh, cousin,” she purred, “you’ve grown bold. How delightful. Maybe I’ll enjoy teaching you some manners of my own.”
Sirius smirked, though his heart pounded.
“You’ll find, Bella, that in this house I do the teaching.”
Barty, lounging far too casually in the chair, bit down on a smirk and muttered under his breath, “Merlin, I could almost like him like this.”
Evan elbowed him sharply in the ribs, eyes warning him to shut up.
Bellatrix’ gaze cut across the room, sharp as knives.
“I don’t recall asking for commentary, Crouch.” She turned back to Sirius, her eyes narrowing. “What game are you playing here, Reggie? Hiding behind new wards, surrounding yourself with… this lot?” She gestured at Barty and Evan like they were filth stuck to her boots. “I would’ve thought you knew better.”
“Unlike you,” Sirius—Regulus—snapped softly, his tone a blade wrapped in silk, “I don’t need to shriek like a harpy to prove my loyalty. My work speaks for itself.”
Bellatrix’ smile faltered, just a fraction, but she tilted her head and leaned closer, as though she could sniff out the truth by proximity alone.
“Your work?” she purred, though the venom dripped thick beneath the sweetness. “The Dark Lord doesn’t care for arrogance. If you think you’ve risen above your station, you may find yourself on your knees again, begging for his mercy.”
“I’ll kneel when there’s a reason,” Sirius said, voice cool, perfectly measured. He locked his new green eyes with hers, refusing to flinch. “And not before.”
The silence that followed was taut, razor-edged, charged with decades of Black family contempt and the shadow of the master they both served, or pretended to.
Bellatrix finally threw back her head and laughed, a sound wild and grating, echoing against the walls.
“Oh, Regulus. Always pretending to be colder than the rest of us. But deep down…” She leaned closer, her breath hot against his ear. “…you’re just the boy who cried when you broke your toy broom.”
Sirius’ jaw tightened, but he didn’t break. Not even when his wand hand itched to shatter the mask.
Instead, he tilted his head, smirked, and said in a voice dripping with acid.
“And you’re still the girl who cried when Aunt Druella cut your hair too short. We all have our ghosts, cousin.”
That silenced her laughter, her smile twisting back into something feral.
The tension in the air was so thick it could have been sliced with a blade.
“What are they doing here, anyway?” Bellatrix demanded suddenly, her chin jerking toward Barty and Evan like they were rats she’d caught scuttling across her floor.
“Smoking, drinking,” Sirius drawled in that perfect imitation of Regulus, his tone dripping with scornful nonchalance. He lounged back into the armchair as though he owned not only the room but her presence within it, one arm draped lazily across the chair like a bored prince enduring an uninvited guest. “Speaking of which—” he snapped his fingers, sharp as a whip crack.
“Don't just stay there. Be a good lad and fetch some for my cousin, won’t you?”
James stiffened in the corner, but Sirius didn’t miss a beat.
The mockery in his voice was razor-thin, perfectly poised. James caught on, moving with a slouch meant to suggest servitude, though the stubborn tilt of his chin betrayed him.
Bellatrix’ head turned slowly, predator-smooth, her eyes locking on James like a hawk sighting prey. That smile—sharp, hungry—curled across her face as she began to circle him, her boots whispering against the carpet.
“Oh?” she purred, her voice slick with derision and dark delight. “Look at you, cousin. A little Gryffindor lapdog in a Black house. Rumour has it that the great Regulus Black was reduced to dragging mudblood-lovers into his bed. My, my, how low the family has sunk.”
She reached out, trailing a gloved finger across the line of his jaw, down the slope of his neck, lingering at his collarbone with a mockingly intimate touch.
“Does he bark for you, too? Or just roll over?”
James flinched despite himself, a muscle in his cheek jumping. His glare cut up at her like a knife, sharp enough to wound.
Bellatrix only smiled wider.
“Ah, fire. I like that. I can almost see why you keep him.” She shifted closer, standing now at his back, her breath ghosting over his ear as she spoke, voice pitched low, poisonous. “Tell me, does he whimper when you touch him? Or has your taste for filth stripped even that out of him?”
“Hands off,” Sirius snapped before James could speak, his voice like a lash cracking across the room. He rose halfway from the chair, green eyes glittering with disdain, every inch the heir she had once envied. “He’s mine.”
Bellatrix turned toward him, the feral smile deepening, her hand still resting on James’ shoulder.
“Oh? Since when does Regulus Black play with his food instead of destroying it?”
James’ hands clenched at his sides, white-knuckled, but he stayed in character, head bowed just enough to hide the flash of rage in his eyes.
Sirius smirked, slow and cruel, folding his arms as though this entire charade amused him.
“Since I discovered that not everything needs to be destroyed to be useful. Unlike you, Bella, I don’t burn everything I touch just to watch it scream.”
Her eyes narrowed dangerously.
“Careful, cousin,” she purred, voice low and dangerous. “That tongue of yours might one day be cut out if you wag it too freely.”
“And yet here you are,” Sirius shot back, silkily, leaning just slightly forward in the armchair so the angle of his body dared her closer. “Lapping up every word I give you like it’s wine. You can sneer at my choices all you want, Bella, but at least I know how to keep mine alive.” His smirk sharpened, a blade catching the light. “Pity you can’t say the same for yourself.”
Bellatrix’ nostrils flared, her head tilting with that feral grace that made her seem both predatory and intoxicatingly dangerous. She leaned in, face hovering mere inches from Sirius’, eyes alight with fury and thrill, her teeth bared in a smile that promised ruin.
“The Dark Lord would laugh to hear you speak of usefulness,” she hissed, voice syrupy, venomous. “You’re only here because he hasn’t yet decided when your usefulness ends.”
“And you?” Sirius countered, calm as winter frost, his tone cutting through the space between them like sharpened glass. “Still trying to prove that your laughter is louder than your failures? Keep cackling, Bella. Maybe one day, he’ll actually believe you’re not afraid.”
Barty choked on a laugh.
Evan shot him a look sharp enough to kill, but Bellatrix ignored them both, her eyes locked on Sirius, burning with fury and, just faintly, the unwilling glimmer of grudging respect.
James set the bottle down on the low table between them with more force than necessary, the glass rattling, catching Bellatrix’ attention again. She leaned forward slightly, tracing the movement with her eyes like a cat noting prey, but Sirius’ calm authority cut her off before she could reach for him. Before her claws could find purchase.
“Drink,” he said simply, his voice all command. “Or leave. Your choice.”
Bellatrix didn’t touch the glass James had set before her. Instead, she sat on the armchair opposite Sirius, crossing her legs slowly, eyes glittering with venomous amusement.
“Where were you last night, cousin?” she asked, her voice low, sweet as poison. Each syllable was a blade laid carefully across his throat, daring him to flinch, daring him to break the mask of controlled arrogance he wore so perfectly.
Sirius tilted his head, lips curving into that maddening half-smile he’d learned from his dear parents. For just a heartbeat, he let his eyes flick toward James, subtle but deliberate, before returning his full, cold focus to Bellatrix.
“Busy,” he said simply, letting the word hang between them like a thrown gauntlet.
Bellatrix’ nostrils flared. She leaned forward, her nails tapping once against the arm of the chair, sharp little clicks like a metronome of suspicion.
“Busy? Doing what exactly?”
James clenched his fists at his sides, willing himself to stay silent, to play the part. But Sirius didn’t falter. He leaned back, stretching his long fingers across the armrest with languid ease, as if he had all the time in the world.
“Do I need to report every hour of my life to you now, Bella?” Sirius’ tone was silk woven over steel. “Funny, I don’t recall you holding that rank.”
Barty snorted loudly from his corner, lounging as though this were the best theatre he’d ever seen.
“Merlin’s bollocks, Bellatrix, he said he was ‘busy.’ You want him to write a journal entry for every piss that he's taking, too?”
Evan shot Barty a sharp look, but even he didn’t speak quickly enough to stop what came next.
Bellatrix’ head whipped toward Barty, eyes blazing.
“Watch your tongue, Crouch, or I’ll carve it from your mouth.”
“Oh, please,” Barty said, grinning wider, manic light flickering in his eyes. “You can’t even handle Reggie saying no to you. Pathetic, really.”
Evan’s jaw tightened, his voice colder now, more precise, slicing through the tension like a knife.
“He was with us last night. Drinking. Talking. Planning. If you want the details, I’ll write you a fucking logbook.”
Bellatrix’ gaze cut back to Sirius, lingering there. Her lips curled, but doubt flickered, faint and dangerous, across her expression.
“Drinking,” she repeated, voice twisting around the word like it was filth. “While the Dark Lord moves mountains, you sit here, soft and complacent, filling your belly.”
“Better than filling it with nonsense and screaming,” Sirius countered smoothly. His green eyes gleamed with sharp disdain. “And as for mountains—” he leaned forward now, his smirk a razor-slash of arrogance “—even mountains crumble when you know where to strike. Tell me, Bella, does Voldemort truly want soldiers who froth at the mouth, or ones who actually think?”
A beat of silence followed.
The room felt taut, like one wrong word would snap the very air in half.
James could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. Bellatrix’ eyes darted between Sirius, then to James, then back to Sirius again, suspicion gnawing at the edges of her smirk.
“You’ve grown bold, cousin,” she whispered, her tone a blade’s edge. “Perhaps too bold.”
“Or perhaps,” Sirius said softly, unflinching, “you’ve simply grown predictable.”
Bellatrix’ smile stretched wider, but her eyes narrowed again on James as he stood in the corner, bruises glamoured, posture slouched. She rose from her chair again and circled him slowly, predatory, the sweep of her robes brushing against the floor like a whisper of threat.
“I expected him”—her chin jerked toward James, the disdain dripping from every syllable—“to be far more worn out under your…care.”
James tensed, jaw tight, but Sirius raised a hand lazily as if silencing a dog. His lips curved into something that wasn’t quite a smile.
“What I do to my asset is no one’s concern but mine,” Sirius said, his voice cold, clipped, wearing Regulus’ armour like a second skin. “If he looks sturdy now, it’s because I allow it. If he looks broken later, that too is mine to command.”
Bellatrix’ eyes flickered, assessing him, searching for cracks. She took another step closer to James, who didn’t flinch but held Sirius’ gaze instead.
“Don’t waste your time measuring what isn’t yours to measure, dear cousin. You may test your toys however you like, but as I told you, this one answers to me.”
But Bellatrix didn’t retreat. Instead, she tilted her head, a curtain of dark hair slipping over one shoulder as she prowled closer to James. She reached out and, without asking, brushed her knuckles along the edge of his jaw — a touch mockingly intimate, like petting a dog she might later kick.
“Oh?” she purred, voice slick and dangerous. “You keep him on a leash, cousin, but do you make him crawl? Or does he bite?” Her fingers trailed down James’ arm now, a slow, deliberate drag of nails through fabric.
Bellatrix chuckled low in her throat.
“Do you keep him fed on scraps, Regulus? Or does he sleep at the foot of your bed like a faithful dog?” She let her nails press harder into James’ shoulder now, just enough to sting. “Tell me—” her voice dipped lower, filthier, “—does he beg?”
Sirius’ smirk didn’t falter. If anything, it sharpened, becoming a blade.
“Careful, Bella,” he drawled, every word precise. “If you touch what’s mine without permission, you may lose your fingers.”
James’ fists clenched so tight his knuckles whitened, but he said nothing. His eyes stayed fixed on Sirius, a silent question hanging between them.
Bellatrix only laughed, high and sharp.
“Oh, cousin. I’m only curious. You speak of ‘assets’ and ‘command’—but you don’t answer my question.” She leaned in closer to James again, her lips brushing the air near his cheek as she whispered, “Does he bleed for you? Does he scream when you tell him to?”
James exhaled once through his nose, steady, controlled, a tremor of fury visible only to Sirius
"I am not telling you twice, Bellatrix. Hands off, or you might learn something about restraint."
Her lips twitched, as though tempted to bite, but she stepped back.
For one sharp, private second, Sirius almost faltered. The taste of the words in his mouth was bitter, rancid. James. A thing. An asset. Playing the part was necessary, but Merlin, how he hated it. The mask of Regulus sat too easily on his face, and yet it scraped raw inside, as if every syllable cost him a piece of something he couldn’t afford to lose.
Still, he straightened, smirked, and carried the lie because there was no other choice.
“Now,” he said smoothly, brushing invisible dust off his sleeve, “why don’t you tell me why you’ve barged into my house like a storm and insisted on wasting both our time with these little tests?”
“You’ll be pleased to know, cousin,” she drawled, the word pleased sounding more like a curse, “our Lord is preparing another raid. In the south, this time, remote, defenceless, the perfect demonstration of power. And you will attend.”
The command hung heavy in the air. James’ head snapped up, fury glinting in his eyes before he remembered his role and dropped his gaze again, jaw clenched hard enough that Sirius worried it might crack.
Sirius schooled his face, raised his chin with that Black-born arrogance that always came so naturally to Regulus. He let his voice drop into the same clipped, measured tone.
“Curious,” he said, smooth as glass. “Cassiopeia has not mentioned a word of this to me.”
At once, Bellatrix sat straighter, her expression twisting into disdain. She let out a sharp, humourless laugh that sliced through the room like a knife.
“This has nothing to do with that bitch,” she spat, venom dripping from every syllable. “Our Lord has appointed me to lead this operation, and I have chosen who stands at my side. Cassiopeia and her pet projects can rot in whatever shadows she crawls through. This is not her stage. This is mine.”
She leaned forward, her dark eyes drilling into his.
“You will obey. You will be there. And if you so much as hesitate, Greyback and I will make sure everything unfolds as expected.”
The name Greyback landed like lead in Sirius’ chest. He forced his expression to remain indifferent, though rage boiled underneath, hot and jagged. His fists itched to break the table in two, to strangle her with her own damned smugness. But Regulus wouldn’t flinch, so neither could he.
“I see,” Sirius replied at last, drawing the words out with practiced ease. “Though one might think that if I were so vital, I would have been told sooner. It’s unlike our Lord to keep such things from me.”
Bellatrix’ grin was razor-edged.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet, little star. You’re not…losing your stomach for the work, are you?”
Her voice lilted, mocking, but the undertone was deadly serious. She was probing, testing the walls of his mask. Sirius forced a smirk, lounging back into the chair as if the thought amused him.
“Cold feet?” he scoffed. “Bella, you wound me. When have I ever failed to deliver? Unlike some,”—he let his eyes flick over her with deliberate disdain—“I don’t have to scream my devotion to prove it.”
The insult landed. For a heartbeat, her expression twisted, but then she smiled, wide and feral, the kind of smile that promised blood.
“Good,” she hissed. “Then I’ll expect to see you there. Greyback will be…thrilled.”
Sirius inclined his head, as if the matter was beneath him. Inside, though, his blood pounded like thunder.
He hated this game. He hated pretending Regulus belonged in their circle, hated feeding Bellatrix’ suspicions with this grotesque dance. Every word, every smirk felt like swallowing poison. And yet—if it kept them safe, if it bought Regulus more time, he would play the role until it burned him hollow.
Bellatrix prowled across the room with that unnerving feline grace. Sirius watched her move, every nerve in his body pulled taut like a bowstring. He had seen that look before—that look meant she was searching for blood.
And then she spoke, voice rich with mockery.
“Tell me, dear cousin… do you happen to know where Muldoon keeps his halfbreed?”
The words hit Sirius like a punch to the ribs. His jaw clenched, but he forced Regulus’ mask over his face.
Bellatrix’ grin widened at his silence.
“Our mutual friend has been asking,” she purred. “Oh, how he hungers for him. After all, the halfbreed is his little pup. It is only normal that he should be with his own kind.” She tilted her head, eyes sharp as knives. “I wonder… have you seen him? Or does Illyan keep you out of such matters?”
For the briefest heartbeat, Sirius’ composure cracked.
He swallowed; his voice cool but edged with danger.
“Why would I lower myself to care about Muldoon’s… scraps?”
But Bellatrix only leaned closer, her face inches from his, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper.
“Because I think you do. Because you’ve always been soft where you shouldn’t be. Always looking at the filth with too much pity in your eyes. Maybe you’ve forgotten, cousin, but I remember.”
Sirius’ mask almost slipped entirely. His hands twitched, nails digging into his palms. He was one word away from breaking—when Evan’s voice cut through, smooth, steady, a lifeline disguised as apathy.
“We didn’t see Muldoon.”
Evan didn’t even raise his tone, but it carried, sharp in its calmness. He rose slowly from his chair, and his eyes met Bellatrix’ with an unflinching coolness.
“The old man is very clear about Lupin’s placement. No one touches him. No one even looks at him.” He let the pause stretch, just long enough for the implication to settle. “If you doubt that, you’re welcome to challenge Illyan yourself. Though I can’t imagine our Lord will be pleased when his most loyal turn their knives inward.”
Bellatrix’ nostrils flared, her teeth flashing in that feral, almost animal grin.
“Careful, Rosier.”
“Illyan’s attachment to his halfbreed is no secret, and none of us is foolish enough to test it. If Greyback wants to ruin his own standing, let him try. I’d rather not.”
The room crackled with silence. James was rigid in the corner, his fists tight at his sides, eyes locked on Sirius. Barty, for once, said nothing as he traced patterns on the table with one finger, watching the tension simmer.
Sirius forced himself to exhale slowly, his face once again unreadable. He leaned back into the chair, the very picture of control, and lifted his chin toward Bellatrix.
“You heard him,” he said softly, each word measured, deliberate. “He isn’t our concern. If Greyback wants scraps, he can pick them off the street for all I care. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have grown rather tired of this charade.”
Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment, Sirius thought she might lunge—might rip his mask away with her bare hands. But then she laughed. Low, sharp, and lingering, like the scrape of steel on stone.
“Very well,” she said, her gaze sweeping over him one last time. “But remember, cousin—I see more than you think.”
She turned toward the door, her robes whispering against the floorboards, and every set of eyes in the room followed her until she vanished beyond the threshold.
The silence that followed was suffocating. Sirius’ hands trembled once—just once—before he clenched them into fists again.
Regulus woke with the crushing weight pressing down on his chest. At first, he wasn’t sure if he was awake at all. His eyelids felt raw and heavy, his body wrung out like a rag soaked too many times in dirty water. Every muscle screamed its protest when he shifted, and every breath burned faintly.
But the worst wasn’t physical. The ache ran deeper than the marrow.
He lay still on the bed, staring at the ceiling above, its carved edges blurred into smudges by the dim lamplight. His ears rang faintly, as if a scream still lingered there, echoing endlessly through his skull. He remembered it. The scream that wasn’t a scream, the thing that had clawed through the shack, through the snakes, through him.
And with it—gone. Torn out.
He lifted a trembling hand to his sternum, as though he might feel the absence lodged there. A hole where something intangible had been tethered to him the moment he destroyed the Horcrux. It left him raw, stripped, emptied in ways that couldn’t be explained by blood and bruises.
The same happened when he destroyed the locket. The same sensation of an unnamed emptiness.
Merlin, he remembered that night all too well. The way the locket had burned in his palm like molten iron, the way the air had cracked with rage when the fiendfyre burnt it. The sensation after—the tearing, the hollow ache, the shivering cold that had nothing to do with the rain outside. He had lain awake for hours then, too, waiting for his heart to find its rhythm again.
And now it had returned. Sharper. Deeper. The ring had pulled harder than the locket ever had, a lure with teeth in its grip. And when it was destroyed, it hadn’t gone quietly—it had dragged parts of him with it, leaving him with nothing but this hollow chasm inside.
He turned his face to the side, into the pillow, eyes shut tightly. For a moment, he wished he could sink into the mattress, vanish into it, and just let the house bury him whole.
But still, he was breathing. His heart beat, steady if sluggish.
And he was alone.
Regulus snapped his eyes open.
James.
Where was James?
Regulus pushed himself upright slowly, palms pressing into the sheets. The room swayed, shadows bending with the motion, and for a moment, he thought he might collapse back down. His legs ached, and his arms were weak. He caught sight of himself in the mirror across the room—a pale figure, gaunt, with circles bruised beneath his eyes. A smear of dried blood clung near his temple, another at his collarbone.
“Pathetic,” he muttered under his breath, his voice hoarse and breaking.
He gritted his teeth and forced his spine straight, moving one step, then another, until the rhythm returned.
The floorboards were cold beneath his bare feet, but he ignored them.
The house was quiet. Too quiet. He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep—hours, maybe a full day. He half expected someone to be there. James pacing, or Lily’s sharp tongue, or even Sirius fussing, but there was no one. Only the throb of his own heart and the whisper of his breath.
He crossed the room and opened the door. The corridor outside stretched into dim shadows, sconces burning low. Regulus steadied himself against the wall, his palm brushing the wallpaper as he began to walk. Each step sent a reminder of the hollow ache in his chest, a loss he couldn’t name or mend.
Downstairs, he thought.
He needed movement, or whatever distraction was within reach.
So, he descended, one step at a time, the banister cool beneath his hand, his breath slow and shallow.
The ache went with him, gnawing.
The emptiness never let go.
The dining room was thick with voices when he reached the bottom of the stairs. Not loud, but the kind of clipped, frayed murmurs that spoke of nerves stretched too taut. James’ pacing filled the space, his boots dragging across the rug in restless circles, his hands raking through his hair until it stuck in mad angles. Barty and Evan sat slouched in the chairs by the fire, though their posture was a lie: shoulders sharp, eyes glinting, as though they were ready to snap at the smallest provocation.
Lily leaned against the mantel, arms folded, her gaze hawk-like as she watched the room with that sharp intelligence that didn’t miss a single crack. Mary sat near her, legs tucked beneath herself, her expression soft but unsettled, teeth worrying at her lower lip. Remus was perched on the arm of a chair, his wand balanced loosely in his hand, though his eyes betrayed how alert he was—always listening, always calculating.
And then he saw him.
Regulus stilled at the threshold.
His breath caught in his throat.
Sirius was wearing his face. The tilt of the jaw, the cold green eyes, the posture that had been drilled into him since boyhood. His own voice spilling from another’s throat, as Sirius muttered something clipped to Barty that made Evan snort.
The world tilted. His stomach lurched.
“What the fuck is happening here?” Regulus whispered, his voice breaking, harsher than he intended.
Every head turned. James froze mid-step, spinning toward him like he’d seen a ghost. Relief broke across his face, wild, too raw to hide, and then worry swept in just as fast.
“Love,” James was already moving toward him, quick strides eating up the distance, his hand outstretched but not quite daring to touch. “Merlin—you’re up, you’re—bloody hell, you’re standing—are you alright? Lily said you’d be out for—”
“James.” Lily’s tone was sharp, steadying, meant to cut through his panic.
But Regulus wasn’t looking at James. His eyes locked on the mirror that shouldn’t exist. The reflection standing by the fire with his own face, his own body; the same tilt of the head, the same cut of the jaw, the same hands that he himself had never truly liked, and yet now, seeing them from the outside, he felt his stomach coil and twist as though he was staring at a corpse wearing his skin.
Sirius was watching him with that rare, open flicker of vulnerability in green eyes that weren’t his. Regulus felt bile in his throat. For one disorienting second, he couldn’t tell whether he was looking at his brother desecrating him, or at some warped version of himself desecrating his brother.
“Why...” Regulus’ voice scraped thin. “Why are you wearing my face?”
The question didn’t simply hang in the air; it dropped, heavy and toxic, like a curse released in a sealed room. Even the fire seemed to falter. Silence swallowed everything whole.
Sirius straightened, jaw clenched, trying to summon the cold detachment of the mask he’d been wearing. But the faintest tremor betrayed him.
“Because,” he said finally, voice clipped in a perfect imitation of Regulus’ own tone, “our darling cousin decided to drop by for a chat, and someone had to play you.”
Barty’s laugh cut through the tension like a shard of glass, low and unhinged.
“Oh, you should’ve seen it. Bellatrix was sniffing around, circling your little Gryffindor like a shark. Nearly had James for lunch.”
“Barty.” Evan’s warning was quiet, but sharp.
James bristled, one hand shooting out to grip Regulus’ shoulder as though to ground him.
“You shouldn’t be up. You need to—”
“Don’t tell me what I need.” Regulus’ whisper was venomous, though his knees buckled faintly beneath him, forcing James to tighten his grip.
Lily stepped forward, calm but firm.
“Reggie, why don't we sit down?”
But Regulus didn’t move. His eyes were still fixed on Sirius, on the absurdity of watching his brother wear his face like a second skin.
“Take it off,” he rasped, trembling. “Take it off before I—”
“Reggie—wait—” Sirius lifted his hands slightly, palms out, his own voice buried beneath Regulus’ timbre. “It’s me. Just me. Don’t—”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Regulus spat. His chest rose and fell too fast; his eyes were wild, pupils blown, walls pressing in. “Get it off. Get it the fuck off right now.”
Sirius took a careful step forward.
“Listen to me. It was Bellatrix. She came here. She would’ve torn through this place if you weren't here. You were unconscious—what the hell was I supposed to do, let her—”
“Take it off!” Regulus roared, voice cracking, his hands curling into fists. He shook his head violently, strands of sweat-damp hair sticking to his forehead. “You’re not me—stop walking around in my body like you fucking own it!”
“Reggie—” James tried, his hand still on his shoulder, fingers tightening as though to steady him.
“Don’t!” Regulus snapped, twisting out of his grip so fast James almost stumbled. His eyes flicked to him, sharp and venomous, a flash of betrayal under the fury. “You, of all people, you let this happen?”
James flinched, his throat working, words forming but falling flat under the raw bite of Regulus’ tone.
“Regulus,” Lily interjected, her voice calm but commanding. “You’re exhausted. I know it is a lot, but you need to breathe—”
“Don’t tell me what I need.” His glare cut to her, then to Mary, Remus, even Barty and Evan, every inch of him bristling, teeth bared like an animal cornered. “None of you—none of you get to decide what’s done with me while I’m lying unconscious like some corpse.”
“Reggie, I didn’t do this to mock you.” Sirius whispered “I did it to keep you alive. Bella’s suspicion would’ve gutted you where you stood. You know I had no choice.”
“You always had a choice!” Regulus’ shout cut the air like a blade, leaving silence quivering in its wake. His chest heaved, his face pale and drawn, eyes glittering with something far too close to panic. “Now take it off before I hex it off myself.”
Chapter 43: Fouetté
Summary:
I was bawling my eyes out while proofreading this, so if you see any typos, no, you don't
Chapter Text
Regulus was lying on his side, his back turned to the door, when James slipped quietly into the bedroom.
“They just left,” James said, voice rough from too much silence. “Sirius told me to—”
“I don’t care,” Regulus whispered, each word flat. He didn’t turn. Didn’t move. Just clutched at the blanket.
James lingered by the door for a moment, then sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before walking over. He lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, careful not to shift the mattress too much. His hand hovered mid-air, but he hesitated, the distance between them suddenly feeling like a canyon.
“Lo—”
“Don’t.” The word cut sharply, a whip crack in the stillness. “Just. Don’t.”
The air punched out of James’ lungs. He swallowed hard and let his hand fall uselessly into his lap, eyes fixed on Regulus’ back. The curve of his spine under the blanket. The way his shoulders curled in, defensive, brittle, as though every breath cost him more than he had to give. James could almost see the walls going up, brick after brick, the fortress slamming shut.
“Can you at least look at me?” James whispered, the plea slipping out before he could stop it.
For a moment, there was only silence. Then a hitch in Regulus’ breath—small, betraying. Slowly, with visible reluctance, he turned just enough to meet James’ gaze. And there it was: green eyes glazed with exhaustion, storm-clouded with fury and despair. Neither of them moved, caught in the stillness of staring at each other, as if they blinked, the whole fragile thing would shatter.
“You shouldn’t have let him do that, James.” Regulus’ voice was soft, but it vibrated with hurt.
James’ chest constricted.
“It was either that, or having you killed.”
Something flickered across Regulus’ face—pain, resignation, the dull kind of hopelessness that made James’ stomach twist until he felt physically sick.
“You should’ve let that happen,” Regulus whispered finally, turning his back again, shoulders stiff, the line of his body drawn tight.
James’ heart stumbled. How had it come to this?
Yesterday—literally yesterday—they had been tangled together in this very bed, limbs wrapped and breath mingled, their bodies pressed so close it had felt like nothing in the world could wedge itself between them. Regulus had whispered things against his skin—soft, fleeting promises that were half-sigh, half-confession, the kind of truths people only let slip in the dark. James had believed them. Merlin help him; he had believed every single word.
And now? Now all he could see was Regulus’ back, rigid and distant, a wall where once there had been warmth, a silhouette that might as well have been a stranger’s. The silence between them was louder than any scream; it settled in his chest, numbing and burning at the same time. Something had shifted. Something had cracked. And he couldn’t reach it, couldn’t mend it—not with words, not with touch, not with love.
He wanted to cross the distance, to drag him back into his arms, to press desperate kisses against his mouth until Regulus remembered that he wasn’t alone, that James wasn’t going anywhere. He wanted to pour every last ounce of his warmth into him until the doubt burned away. But he knew, Godric, he knew, that if he pushed now, Regulus would only retreat further into the dark.
So, he sat there, helpless, staring at the boy he loved more than anything in this cursed world, wondering if loving him would ever be enough to keep him here.
His Regulus just needed more time. At least, that’s what James told himself as his heart quietly broke.
The days that followed blurred together, heavy and airless.
Four days—Merlin, only four days—and yet they sprawled out in James’ memory like entire lifetimes carved with a dull blade, dragging at him, pressing down until he felt every breath scrape his chest.
He had seen Regulus exhausted before; he had seen him brittle and haunted in the days after Avery’s death, had held him through nights where his body trembled with nightmares he never dared to name. But this was something worse, something James could not even name, some new hollow carved out behind Regulus’ ribs where no warmth seemed able to reach.
After two nights, Regulus stopped sleeping. Two hours at most, always restless, sheets tangled like he was fighting unseen things even in slumber. When he woke, he did not eat; when spoken to, he barely replied. Every word that did escape him came honed down to its barest necessity, clipped and muted, as though conversation itself had become a weight too great to carry.
James tried. He cracked jokes, soft and harmless, the kind that usually coaxed at least an exasperated sigh or a roll of the eyes. He reached for him, offered warmth, a steady hand, the quiet presence of someone who would not leave. Each attempt was met first with a flicker of venom, words sharpened to draw blood, and then the sudden widening of Regulus’ green eyes, the brief flash of something like shame, like horror at himself. He would stumble over a mumbled apology and vanish into the library before James could understand what had just happened.
That library became his fortress, its doors closing like a portcullis between them. James followed once, twice, but the door slammed in his face, the echo of it rattling down the corridor like a verdict. He was left outside only with the hollow thud of his own heartbeat and the echo of Regulus’ anger and exhaustion. Inside, he could only imagine him buried under books and shadows, isolating himself from the living world, and the thought twisted something deep in James—anger and grief and terror and an unbearable helplessness all tangled together until they were indistinguishable.
Even when he was present, the Regulus they all knew was gone. The warmth, the small teasing, the sharp humor—all of it muted. He was here, yet not here, a presence that haunted James with the weight of all the unspoken things.
Regulus was drifting away from him, inch by inch, piece by piece, slipping like water through James’ trembling fingers, and there was nothing left to hold him still.
It was the fifth night when Barty found James sitting in the empty quiet of the dining room, shoulders slumped, eyes fixed on the fire as though its crackle might give him answers. The long table stretched before him like a ghost of better times, every chair empty, the silence pressing down on them. James stared at the space where Regulus should have been curled in a chair with a book, where his voice should’ve filled the quiet with sharp remarks or reluctant conversation. But it was empty. Always empty now.
“You need to take him out of this place,” Barty said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet as he set a glass of firewhiskey on the low table near James.
James blinked, dragged himself back to the present.
“What?”
“The house,” Barty muttered, lowering himself into the armchair opposite him. He leaned back, but his eyes flickered with a restlessness James rarely saw. “It’s this bloody house, Potter. It’s eating him alive.”
James swallowed, fingers tightening around his glass though he hadn’t taken a sip.
“What if—”
“Trust me. I’ve seen this before. I’ve lived it before.” Barty’s tone cut sharply. “There is something here that eats him alive.”
James let out a laugh, hollow and brittle.
“And take him where, Barty? He doesn’t even want to look at me right now. He doesn’t come to bed. He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t…he doesn’t even try anymore.” His voice cracked despite himself, and he dragged a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots. “He’s gone. He’s just—gone.”
“Your manor,” Barty said flatly, like the answer should’ve been obvious.
James frowned.
“What?”
“You still have your family’s manor, don’t you?”
“Yes,” James frowned, “but Voldemort—”
“He bought you”, Barty said lowly, like he, too, hated the sound of that word, “he owns your property, too. Use this. Fuck, move into a fucking cave for all I care. Move into the bloody woods, sleep under the stars, I don’t care. Just get him out of this place before it swallows him whole.”
James’ fist clenched around the glass.
“You think I haven’t tried? He doesn’t want to leave, Barty! You’ve seen him—he won’t come with me. He doesn’t want anything.” His voice broke, louder now, raw. “How the fuck do you fight that?!”
“Because that’s not Regulus!” Barty snarled back, leaning forward so fast the chair creaked. His eyes were blazing, wide and unhinged, but there was something desperate in them. “That thing haunting these halls? That’s not him. It’s a shadow. It’s what’s left after something has eaten its way inside.”
James froze, the words sinking like ice through his veins.
Barty’s lip curled, but his voice dropped to a low growl.
“Something happened to him, James. Sixth year. Voldemort came here—don’t look at me like that, I know. He came here, and he used Legilimency on him. I don’t know what he saw, what he planted, but it—” he exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. “It changed him. That’s when the nightmares started. That’s when he began sleepwalking, standing at windows, and muttering about bloody hands. That’s when we had to start locking the dormitory doors so he wouldn’t wander off and drown himself in the Black Lake.”
James’ throat went dry. He had to set his glass down before he shattered it.
“You’re saying Voldemort—”
“I’m saying something happened,” Barty cut in, eyes flashing. “I don’t know what he saw in Reggie’s head, but it cracked something in him. For months, he carried that around. And then—”
“The locket,” James whispered.
“Exactly.” Barty’s head bobbed quickly. “After he destroyed it, the nightmares stopped. For years, he was himself again. Smirking, scheming, sharp as ever. But now…”
James rubbed at his face, bile rising in his throat.
“But if it’s the Horcruxes—”
“I don’t know,” Barty admitted, shaking his head, his expression caught between fury and fear. “I don’t know if it’s because he’s being too close to them, if it’s the Mark, if it’s this cursed house with its rotten foundations. But I know one thing, Potter.” His voice dropped to a whisper, deadly serious. “This place changes him. Intrinsically. It’s pulling him under. And if you don’t get him out, we’re going to lose him.”
The fire popped in the silence that followed. James stared into it, his heart pounding, feeling the weight of every word settle in his bones.
He could still see Regulus’ back turned to him in their bed, still hear the whisper:
You should’ve let it happen.
The last days had been a slow, grinding kind of hell for Regulus; not the dramatic fireworks of battle, but the quiet, steady unmaking of a man from the inside out.
The Mark burned always. Not like fire—fire would at least be honest about what it was—but like something colder, crueller, a flame without heat that scoured and branded and whispered into the nerves beneath his skin, a living script of shame and servitude carved in flesh. It woke with him and it slept with him and, at times, it almost felt like it dreamed through him.
And then there were the whispers. Merlin, the whispering was the worst. They slid through the cracks of Grimmauld Place like damp seeping into old wood, threading themselves into corners, into the blackened banister spindles, into the spaces between his ribs. They spoke his name as though it was a secret only they were allowed to know, curling it on their tongues with a tenderness that was somehow more obscene than cruelty. They told him he was hollow now, but not beyond use. They promised he could still be remade if he would only stop fighting and open himself to what waited inside him.
Sometimes they sounded like voices he half recognized—voices of men he’d seen in the dark, of laughter he’d heard in another life. Sometimes, most disturbingly, they were his own voice, coaxing him like a lover, calling him to the library. Always the library.
It has gotten to a point where Regulus simply stopped going to the room. He knew that James was awake. He was always awake these days—Regulus could feel his eyes even when he could not see him, the way a condemned man might feel the noose waiting. James watched him with that tilted look of pity that cut deeper than any curse, a look that felt like a knife twisted slowly rather than a single, merciful blow.
And the sight of him—James, who had given Regulus everything, who in some mad way still loved him—felt like salt rubbed into a wound that could never close. James watched him the way one might look at something precious already dying, like a man who had lost what he loved and found only the carcass left behind, and loved it anyway. It was unbearable. It was a desecration of both of them.
To see himself reflected in those eyes was to know, beyond question, that he was soiled beyond repair. That he had become the ruin James still worshipped. And some nights, most nights now, Regulus thought there was nothing left to worship at all, nothing left to save. Only a husk walking through a house full of whispers, wearing the memory of a man’s skin while the rest of him quietly, inexorably, went mad.
And it had all begun with that ring. He could still remember the moment he opened his eyes—how the wrongness wasn’t a single blow but a slow bloom, a creeping cold that settled in the deepest corners of his soul like mould, silent and unstoppable. He had known something had shifted before his mind could name it. A fracture running through him that he could not see but could feel with every breath.
Yet what truly splintered him, what took the quiet knowledge of decay and hardened it into certainty, was the sight of his brother wearing his face.
Merlin, that had torn something loose inside him in a way no curse ever could.
Sirius, who had always been alive in a way Regulus had never managed to be.
Sirius, whose laughter was always a few decibels too loud, whose fire had refused to be dimmed even by their mother’s screaming.
To see him, even for a few hours, wearing his face had been nothing more than the desecration of a boy who had once swung from the banister and grinned like the sun itself.
But anger was only the surface. Underneath, the truth was uglier, more corrosive. A quiet rot creeping into the marrow of him.
It wasn’t just that Sirius had worn his face.
It was that Regulus had looked at it and hated what he saw. Not the scars. Not the Mark—he had made his peace with those long ago.
What he hated was the hollow. The eyes that looked at the world with a calm so measured it was no calm at all, but the absence of feeling. The gaunt hollows under his cheekbones, the permanent tension where humour used to flare—his own mouth now a line carved deep, like a muscle waiting for a command that would never come.
Whenever he caught his reflection in a mirror, he felt the old, familiar violence surge up in him. Not because he hated the shape of his face, but because he hated what filled it. This wasn’t a man anymore, but a vessel. Absence pretending to be purpose. Duty masquerading as will. A shell in a black robe. He wanted to smash the glass, to obliterate the proof of what he’d become, and yet he couldn’t—not because of fear, but because even destruction required more strength than he had left.
How, he wondered, how in the name of anything holy could James love something like that? How could anyone love a husk still wearing his skin? It was vulgar, a mockery of what love was supposed to be.
And the fact that they have been in Bellatrix’ presence while he was out cold upstairs filled him with a fury so wild it almost startled him. The thought of her near Sirius—of her near James—was enough to make him want to drive his fists into the walls until his knuckles split open. If Sirius had shown a single weakness, even the smallest tremor in his brow, Bellatrix would have been mad enough to kill him on the spot. And Regulus would have been upstairs, useless and absent.
In the last days, Regulus found himself craving a release so brutal and so final that it startled even him. A yearning that rose not like a sudden storm but like a tide he had been standing in for years without noticing how high the water had crept.
It was cowardice, he told himself. To feel that flicker of relief at the thought of an ending.
How would James live without him, how would any of them?—and yet the hunger for oblivion perched on his shoulder like a patient guest, its presence constant, companionable, waiting for him to stop pretending he didn’t feel its weight.
Sleep offered no refuge. Each time Regulus managed to fall under, even for ten minutes stolen in exhaustion, he woke drenched in cold sweat as though his body had been running. It did not matter where he closed his eyes—in his old bed, in James’, on some forsaken chair in a corridor where he had finally collapsed—the destination was always the same.
The library.
Always the library.
He would open his eyes to the same cracked leather of the chair beneath his palms, the same ancient dust filling his lungs, the same splintered shelf at his back.
And always, always the same whisper stitched into the back of his skull, patient and expectant, as though it had been waiting there long before he arrived.
At first, he tried to believe he was just sleepwalking. A body too restless to stay put, a trick of nerves frayed to breaking. But the unease went deeper, because there were no memories of crossing hallways, no half-formed impressions of reaching for a door handle. It was as though he had been moved, gently and deliberately, by something that knew him better than he knew himself.
The worst part was that he could no longer tell if he had been dreaming. Sometimes he woke with the raw, panicked certainty that he had spent whole hours elsewhere, not in the library, but in a place without shape or colour. The only thing that he felt was a pressure behind his ribs urging him forward, forward, forward. He could not name it. He could only feel its residue clinging to him like a second skin.
Barty tried to speak to him. He filled the silences with sharp humour and reckless stories, the sort that once might have dragged a reluctant smirk from Regulus even on the blackest days. Now the words fell into him like stones dropped into a dry well, vanishing without echo or ripple. Regulus would listen with his head tilted, as if the sounds came from another room, another world, some place that no longer touched him. He saw the moment Barty realised it too, yet he kept trying, stubborn as ever, until even he began to falter.
Evan, quieter, tried to help in the ways he knew: tea, blankets, odd little comforts collected like offerings to a dying God. Sometimes he lingered in the doorway, hopeful, waiting for the smallest sign that Regulus would let him cross the threshold. Regulus never did. The offerings gathered like relics on the table: cups gone cold, books unopened, folded cloth that smelled of clean air Regulus hadn’t breathed in days.
Even the girls tried. Lily with her impossible, infuriating compassion. Mary, with her sharp tongue that pretended not to care. They lingered in corridors, braided laughter through the house like a spell in hopes he might follow the sound. They gave him every invitation life had to offer. He refused them all, retreating further each time, until their voices became another kind of whisper at the edge of his hearing.
And James—well, James tried to love him. He never stopped trying. He carried devotion in every glance, every foolish, desperate touch, each one an act of defiance against the slow corrosion taking hold of Regulus. He sat so close that Regulus could feel the warmth of his arm, the steady pulse under his skin, as if daring him to believe he deserved it. And yet every time James’ eyes softened, every time his mouth shaped words too gentle for Regulus to bear, something in Regulus recoiled further, like a man retreating from light that burned instead of warmed. He could not meet that kind of love with the ruin he had become. To stay near it felt like blasphemy, a mockery of the person James thought he was touching.
So, each time, inevitably, Regulus closed the door of the library. The click of the latch was the only answer they received. Within those four walls, the world narrowed until it was nothing but the low hiss of his own breathing and the voices sliding through the cracks in his skull. They told him what he already half-believed: that they were nothing, that he did not need them. They told him their hands were snares and their warmth was poison. They told him to stay away. And it was easier, Merlin, it was so much easier, to listen to that cruel, intimate murmur than to face the people outside who kept holding out hands he could not bring himself to take. Easier to believe the voice that called him empty, than to risk breaking the hearts of those who insisted he wasn’t.
He told himself he hated hurting them, hated the way their disappointment seemed to linger in the air long after they were gone. He told himself he wanted to reach for them, to explain, to confess that the whispers had already taken so much of him he had nothing left to give.
But beneath the endless layers of guilt, another hunger stirred.
An uglier one.
There were moments when he wanted them to stop. Stop trying, stop watching, stop loving him as though he was worth the trouble. Their persistence felt like opening the same wound over and over again, their kindness scraping against the hollow inside him, mocking what he could no longer feel. Each soft word was an indictment, a mirror held up to show everything that he had lost.
And in the darkest, most private corners of himself, Regulus felt the flicker of a desire so vicious it frightened him. He wanted to lash out. To see their faces twist with the same pain that curled through his veins every waking hour. To wound them so deeply that they would never look at him again.
The thought terrified him. But it also tempted him.
When James lingered too long, when those foolishly loyal eyes threatened to break him open, Regulus sometimes imagined spitting cruelty into the space between them—ugly, cutting words sharp enough to drive James away for good.
When Evan placed yet another cup of untouched tea on the table, Regulus thought of smashing it to the floor just to watch the porcelain scatter, to see if Evan’s composure would finally crack.
When the girls laughed in the hall, bright and untouchable, he wanted to scream until the laughter curdled into silence.
And Barty, reckless, relentless Barty, sometimes Regulus wanted to grab him by the collar, shake him, hurt him, just to prove that no amount of defiance could save a man already dying.
And yet, he never did. He kept everything buried under the same iron will that made him close the door every time. Because he knew if he gave in, if he let that darkness spill, it would not stop. He would lose himself to it. He would become the very thing the whispers promised he already was: empty, obedient, and dangerous.
So, he stayed in the library. Trapped between guilt that tore at him and a savage ache to hurt the ones who loved him most. Neither impulse brought him peace. Both made him afraid of himself. And the whispering, always the whispering, sat patiently in the silence, as if it knew it didn’t matter which way he broke.
On the sixth night, James came again.
Regulus knew him before the knock—knew him by the length of the pause, by the way he stopped in front of the library door and let his hand hover over the wood as if he could feel the shape of whatever lived inside. James always paused like that. He always hesitated at the border, as if the simple line of the threshold might burn him. Sometimes he knocked; sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes he walked away.
James did not walk away this time.
“Love,” came his voice, muffled through wood and the thinness of distance. It sounded smaller than Regulus remembered—shrunken, stripped of all the bright bravado that used to make a room bend toward it. It was a voice folded in on itself, a voice that had learned to crawl under locked doors. “I know you’re there. Please, I am begging you… Come back to me.”
Regulus expected the pleading he had rehearsed in his own mind all those nights: knock, a demand to open, an impatient shove at the latch as if will could force the lock. He expected James to sound like someone asking for a favour, or worse, like a man demanding proof that what he loved still existed.
“I don’t care if you’re angry. I don’t care if you don't want to talk to me yet,” James said. “I don’t need you to be who you were. I don’t need you to pretend you’re all right. I just—” His breath caught, and the pause was like a heartbeat held too long. “I just need you to be. That’s all. Just be.”
That single, ordinary thing landed in Regulus like a stone dropped into a hollow he had thought itself bottomless.
Be.
The word made him dizzy with grief. Whoever had taught James how to speak simple truths had made a weapon as sharp as any sword. Regulus felt the edges of it cut him open, slice through the careful stitching of his silence. He wanted to answer. He wanted to fling the door wide and let everything spill out: apologies, confessions, the filthy detail of the whispers that sat under his ribs like a parasite. He wanted to tell James every awful thing and strip himself bare of shame until there was nothing left but the boy who had once laughed in the dark.
His mouth opened, then closed. The whisper in his head gathered like a jealous animal, curling fine threads around his tongue.
If you open the door, you will drag him down.
If you open the door, you will expose him.
If you open the door, you will destroy the only good thing left.
“Come back to me,” James repeated, voice cracking now, the edges of it raw. “Please. Please, don’t go where I can’t follow.”
Regulus’ hands trembled where they pressed against the door. He could hear every fracture in James’ words like the sound of glass splitting under pressure.
“I can’t—” James swallowed, and Regulus heard it as a sound in his own throat: a catch, a boy breaking into a man under the simple weight of love. “I can’t lose you.” The plea trembled. “Not like this. Not to this.”
Something inside him, something younger, softer, more frightened than any whisper, reached for the latch. For a wild, unbearable second, he imagined the door giving, warm wood opening under his fingers, and James stepping into the library like light. He imagined being held so tightly his breath would come back. He imagined the way James’ hair smelled of sun and soap, the roughness of his cheek against Regulus’ palm. The absurd, grounding steadiness of his shoulders. The picture was so vivid it almost hurt.
But the whisper was a continuous current, its voice low and ancient.
If you open the door, he will see you for what you are.
If you open the door, you will poison him. Stay away. He doesn’t need you. You don’t need him.
The whisper painted the consequences with a cruel deliberation: James’ eyes losing some small, irretrievable thing; his brow furrowing into weary care; the slow corrosion of the love that now hovered on the edge of something monstrous.
The whisper promised that to accept James fully would be to pull him into the hollow where Regulus felt he already lived.
James’ voice faltered.
“If I have to wait forever,” he whispered in a voice thick with tears, “I will. I will wait. But please—let me stay close enough to reach you when you need me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
Regulus’ throat closed. He pressed his forehead to the wood until he felt the grain press into his skin.
He hated himself for what he felt then. Not the love, never the love; that had been the one constant, the one stubborn ember that refused to go cold, but the shameful, prickling flash of anger at James’ impossible patience. Anger at his hope, at his stubborn refusal to leave, at the way he stood there like some beacon in the dark and refused to dim. Anger at how easily James offered himself up to be cut on the edges of a man already breaking.
How dare James be gentle when Regulus had been so brutal? How dare he be kind when Regulus had been the architect of so much ruin?
The thought made Regulus want to tear at his own throat just to silence it, to swallow down the jagged taste of his own fury and grief before it reached his mouth.
“Love,” James whispered again, softer than before, like a benediction pressed against the wood between them. “Please.”
Minutes passed, or maybe hours; time had lost its shape, and eventually Regulus heard the retreating steps, the distant rustle of a cloak, the uncertain echo of someone walking away who might never return.
He bowed his head and, for the first time since the whisper had begun, he wept. It was not a theatrical thing—no large sobs, no dramatic collapse. It was the small, continuous leaking of someone who had been holding too much for too long: a grief that came out as salt on his lips and rust in his throat. It burned like an admission. That he was afraid of losing James, yes, but he was more afraid of what losing him would mean.
It was long after midnight when the whispering finally dulled to a low hum at the edges of his mind, and Regulus found himself standing, somehow, outside James’ door.
He could not recall crossing the hall; could not recall his hand reaching out. The door was slightly ajar, as if it had been waiting for him, and he hesitated there, fingers resting on the knob. He knew that James was awake. He could feel it. A warmth like light spilling from the edges of the room.
Regulus did not knock. He slipped inside quietly, as one might slip into a room that belonged more to memory than to space. The bed was larger than he remembered, soft and unclaimed. He lowered himself onto the sheets, careful not to disturb the outline of James beneath the covers. He lay side by side with him, eyes fixed on the ceiling, tracing cracks and patterns as though reading a map he could not navigate otherwise.
James did not reach for him. He did not stir, did not whisper, did not close the gap. He simply breathed, and Regulus could hear the rise and fall, slow and steady, of the chest beneath the blankets. They shared the same silence, an invisible thread binding them, fragile but unbroken.
It was both a relief and a torment.
Regulus wanted to move, to fold into the warmth, to press against the only person in the world who could bring him back to the surface. But he could not. To touch James would have been to risk spilling the hollow, to show him all the broken, dangerous corners he had been keeping locked away.
And yet the very presence, so ordinary, so simple, was enough to remind him that he had not completely lost himself.
James understood without words. There was no pressure, no expectation, only a gentle acknowledgment that they were still here, still breathing in the same room. And somehow, in that stillness, James felt it all: the silent apology, the weight of the walls Regulus had built, the trembling hope beneath it. He felt it both as a salvation and a goodbye. Salvation because Regulus had crossed the threshold, because he had allowed himself to be near, because even the smallest concession proved the man he loved was not entirely gone. Goodbye, because he knew that this was fragile, so fragile, and that Regulus might slip back into himself at any moment, leaving James once again to reach through an empty room.
For hours, they stood like that, side by side and yet untouching, bound by a shared, unspoken vow: that presence alone could speak more than words.
Regulus felt the ache of longing and the echo of fear coiled around his ribs, and he let it stay. He let himself be seen in a way that was both terrifying and oddly tender.
And James, patient as ever, allowed the silence to hold them both, understanding with a kind of bone-deep heartbreak that sometimes love was not in the touch, not in the reassurance, but in simply being there.
Simply being together, side by side, sharing the quiet that neither could entirely name.
Chapter 44: Judecca
Summary:
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a swordThe Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde
Chapter Text
Regulus knew from the moment he opened his eyes that he was no longer in Grimmauld Place. He was standing in a corridor that was too narrow, too close. He looked around him and realised that this was the same place in which he had found the ring, but it was no longer a ruin. No collapsed roof, no dust on the floor. The house had remade itself, whole and waiting, as though it had been resurrected only to trap him here again.
Under him, writhing and gasping on the floor, was a man. A stranger.
Regulus didn’t know how or when it had begun. He didn’t know why his hands were already at the man’s throat, why his blade was already biting shallow crescents into tender skin. He only knew the pulse beneath his palms: frantic, fluttering like a bird that had already broken its wings, weakening with every second he did not let go.
The man clawed at him, fingernails scraping against Regulus’ arms, leaving angry red trails. His mouth opened and closed like a fish torn from water, gasps breaking against Regulus’ ears in jagged little bursts. Regulus could smell him—sweat, copper, the rank smell of fear. It was suffocating.
The rattling noise, the desperate sound of someone fighting for air that would not come, burrowed into Regulus’ skull, into the base of his teeth, until his entire body shook with it. He could feel the man’s heartbeat pounding against his left palm, slowing, stuttering. He wanted to let go. God, he wanted to let go. But his fingers would not obey him. They tightened instead, as though commanded by some other force that had crawled into his skin. He pressed the blade more and more.
Where had the knife even come from?
He looked down at the contorted face, eyes bloodshot, mouth gaping, and horror tore through him because he did not know this man. No recognition, no memory, no context. Just a stranger, faceless and nameless, dying beneath his hands while Regulus himself watched in horror.
But, somewhere deep, there was a part of him that also enjoyed the power of it. The sick, sharp rush of control. The terrifying, intimate knowledge that he was ending a life. It disgusted him, even as it lit something old and cold inside him, something the whispers had been calling back to life.
The man’s eyes stared up at him, and for a sickening instant, the features shifted. They blurred, then slowly rearranged, morphing into something else.
And Regulus saw James.
The lips parting, gasping for air that wasn’t there. His eyes were wide and pleading. The body folding helplessly beneath his weight.
James’ face, James’ skin, James’ throat under his hands.
James dying.
“No,” Regulus choked, but no sound came out.
The knife pressed harder. His own fingers curled tighter, no matter how he screamed at them to release.
And then, James’ voice. Not the stranger’s gasp, but James.
Real.
Gentle.
Utterly broken.
“Reg—” A whisper, torn from a crushed windpipe. “Let go.”
The world tilted. The corridor twisted in on itself, the house walls caving, swallowing. Regulus tried to rip his hands away, to fling the knife from his grasp, but they moved against him, deliberate, carving the line deeper. Warmth spilled across his fingers. The whisper returned, slithering slick as oil into his ear:
See what you are. See what you’ve always been.
The body jerked beneath him.
“Love,” James gasped again, not a plea for his life, but something smaller, infinitely more devastating. “You need to wake up.”
And with that, Regulus’ eyes snapped open.
The nightmare dissolved, but not all of it. Because when he looked down, when he felt the solid weight beneath him, he realized the dream had followed him into the waking world.
His knees pinned James to the mattress. His hand, his real hand, was clamped tight around James’ throat. The knife, Merlin, he had the knife, his family’s cursed silver, pressed against the skin of his throat.
James’ face was inches from his, eyes wide, his throat trembling under Regulus’ crushing grip.
“Regulus,” James whispered again, voice raw, but steady. He hadn’t tried to fight. His wand lay untouched at the bedside. His hands weren’t clawing back at Regulus’ arms like the man in his dream. He only lay there, pinned and helpless.
Trusting him, even now.
He wrenched his hand back as though burned, the knife clattering to the floor. His chest heaved. His stomach twisted. He scrambled away from the bed, pressing himself against the wall as though distance could erase what he had just done.
But the marks on James’ throat were real.
James moved first. Always James.
He pushed himself up from the mattress with a slow, careful grace, as if approaching a wounded animal. As if any sudden gesture might send Regulus scattering into the shadows. His voice was soft, frayed at the edges, but steady.
“Reg… come here.”
Regulus wanted to run. Wanted to slam himself into the wall until the horror inside him was smashed to pieces. But James’ hand reached him, fingers brushing his sleeve. That was all it took. His body betrayed him.
He broke, and Regulus clung to him like a drowning man, his forehead pressed against the curve of James’ shoulder, his breath wet with tears he had sworn he would never shed. Words tore themselves free in fragments, ragged pleas tumbling one after another.
“I didn’t—James, I didn’t want to— I hurt you, I—look at what I’ve done—”
James said nothing at first. He only wrapped his arms around him, firm and unshaken, the way he always had. And slowly, painfully, Regulus let himself be guided back onto the bed.
When James lay down, Regulus followed as if pulled by gravity, trembling, climbing onto him, straddling his waist like a penitent about to confess his sins. His lips sought James’ skin, not with tenderness but with frantic urgency, kissing over the bruises his own hands had made, as though he could erase them by reverence alone.
“I’ll make it right,” he whispered between the touches, his voice shaking apart at the edges. “I swear, I’ll make it right. I’m sorry—so sorry—don’t hate me, please don’t hate me.”
James’ hand threaded into his hair, trying to anchor him.
“Love—stop, stop. I could never hate you.”
But Regulus didn’t stop. He couldn’t. His mouth pressed harder, his tears wetting James’ skin, salt seeping into the bruises he kissed. The desperation in him was unbearable: his lips moved like a man starving, as though each kiss might delay some execution only he knew was coming.
James’ heart clenched. Something was wrong. There was a finality in the way Regulus kissed him, a hunger edged with grief, as though this was not possession but farewell.
“Reg—” James tried again, but his voice broke.
Regulus silenced him with action. He caught James’ wrists and raised them above his head, pinning them against the mattress. His grip was trembling but unyielding, desperation giving him a strength that felt almost violent. His hair fell like a curtain around their faces, their breaths colliding in the narrow space between. James could feel his pulse against Regulus’ grip, the erratic rhythm of a man on the brink of breaking.
For a moment, James gave in to it. He arched up into him, trying to meet the hunger with his own. The force of their closeness sparked heat and fear all at once. Regulus met him, chest to chest, breath for breath, but there was a sharpness to it, a jagged edge that made James’ stomach twist.
It wasn’t just passion. It was a drowning man clinging too tightly.
And then, slowly, deliberately, Regulus drew back. Still straddling James, his whole body trembling, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand. The wood gleamed faintly in the dim light, terrible in its quiet simplicity.
James froze. His stomach plummeted as though the floor had given way beneath them.
“Love—” his voice cracked, ragged with panic. “What are you doing?”
“In—In some other life…” Regulus began, his voice barely above a whisper, eyes shining with tears that refused to fall. “In some other life, perhaps it’s still you and me— loving each other the way we always hoped, doing everything we dreamed.”
“Regulus, what are you talking about?” James’ voice cracked, dread rushing up before he could contain it.
Regulus shook his head, lips trembling as he tried to keep the words steady.
“You were my everything — the spark in my dark, the name my soul whispered. You taught me that love is possible, that even I could belong to someone. But in this life… in this life we are written as strangers, stars that shine for each other but never touch.”
The words landed like a curse. James’ heart pounded so hard it hurt, fighting to deny it, fighting to breathe.
“What are you saying? Why are you talking like this?”
“We are a requiem, James. You know it. I know it. We were written wrong from the start. Meant to find each other, meant to love each other, but never meant to survive it.”
Regulus whispered and raised the wand higher, every movement deliberate, trembling with finality.
James’ blood turned to ice. The realization cut too fast, too sharp. His heart dropped, his breath caught in his throat.
“Stop.” His voice cracked. Panic surged through him, raw and helpless. “Regulus, please don’t.”
But the wand was already levelled at him.
The syllables trembled on Regulus’ lips, heavy as death itself.
The word was waiting, sharp and ready. Ready to unravel every moment, every kiss, every fight, and every plea. Ready to turn James into a stranger. Ready to make Regulus nothing more than a ghost he would never remember having loved.
James’ mind raced, fury and terror colliding until his vision swam.
No. No. Not after everything. Not after the nights of whispering, the bruises of grief they had carried together, the fragile, impossible love they had built in the dark.
He would not let Regulus do this.
He would not let him go.
Regulus’ hand shook so hard the wand wavered, but still he held it aimed at James. His chest heaved, his lips trembling around the word he hadn’t yet spoken. James could see it, feel it, hanging between them like a blade about to fall.
And then Regulus broke.
“This is the only way,” he gasped, his voice breaking open like a wound. “Don’t you see? The whispers are too loud—I can’t silence them—I can’t—I already hurt you.” His grip tightened on the wand, but his eyes darted across James’ bruises, the skin marked by his own hands, his own madness. He shook his head violently, choking on a sob.
“I remember now. I remember the dreams. The corridor. The knife in my hand. I remember walking through the manor like I wasn’t even me anymore.”
James shook his head, desperate, thrashing against the grip that still pinned him.
“No—love, you’re here, with me, you’re not—”
But Regulus silenced him with a strangled shout.
“I am! I am, James! And you don’t understand—I can’t stop it. I can’t stop myself.” He pressed the wand closer, his tears dripping onto James’ chest. “This is for you. Do you hear me? For you. You can be free. You don’t deserve to be chained to a dead weight—to a broken thing that only drags you down.”
His voice fell into a whisper, shattered and hoarse.
“You deserve someone whole, and I will never be that.”
The wand trembled again. James’ heart thundered in his throat.
“Regulus, please—”
“I love you, James,” his voice shuddered, “I will find you in the next life, my love,” Regulus sobbed, “Obliviate”.
Light burst from the tip of his wand, white and sharp, flooding the room in a silent explosion. It washed over James in a wave, curling around his face, his eyes, his temples. For a moment, his body arched under it, fingers clawing at the sheets as if he could hold on to something before it was ripped from him.
Then, as quickly as it came, the fight drained from him, and James’ hands fell limp against the mattress. His eyes, those burning, feral eyes, dimmed all at once, the fire collapsing into ash. The muscles in his jaw slackened. His chest still heaved, but his gaze was empty, unfocused, like a man waking from a dream he could no longer name.
Regulus stumbled back, the wand still raised but trembling so violently it almost slipped from his fingers. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t look.
The voices were back, hissing, cheering, praising. Telling him that he did the right thing.
They made him nauseous.
James sat up slowly, his movement dazed, unmoored. His head tilted slightly, as though hearing a sound that wasn’t there. The lips that had just spoken his name now parted soundlessly. His eyes, vacant now, drifted across the room without recognition.
Regulus pressed his free hand over his mouth, biting down on his knuckles to keep from making a sound. Inside his skull, the voices hissed and coiled, soft and triumphant, like snakes in the dark.
He wanted to scream. He wanted to claw them out. But his body swayed instead, torn between collapse and control.
James blinked once, twice. His pupils struggled to adjust, his eyes roaming the dim corners of the room as if the walls might give him an answer.
“Where…?” His voice was faint, unmoored. His hand went to his temple, rubbing hard, like he could force the fog out of his skull. “Why am I—”
But before he could finish, the door slammed open and Barty stood in the doorway, his wand raised, eyes wide and wild with fear. Evan was just behind him, pale and stricken.
“I heard shouting, what—” Barty stopped, his gaze freezing on the scene. Regulus, half-collapsed against the wall, breath ragged, wand trembling at his side. James, neck mottled with bruises, shirt torn, blood drying at his collar, sitting on the edge of the bed with a hollow, glassy stare.
“Crouch?” James’ voice cut through the stillness, sharp and sudden, snapping Barty’s attention. He squinted, the fog in his eyes thick but beginning to part. He looked from Barty to Evan, then around the room again, restless, unsettled.
And then his gaze landed on Regulus.
James froze. His body stiffened, his chest rising in a hard, shallow breath. For a long, unbearable second, silence stretched like a blade between them.
“Why,” James said at last, his voice low, venom dripping through the confusion, “are you in my room?”
The words hit Regulus harder than any curse could have.
James’ lip curled, his eyes narrowing with sudden, violent suspicion.
“What the hell are you doing here?” His voice was sharp now, serrated with hate. He rose unsteadily to his feet, shoulders squared, though his body trembled. “Why—why do I feel like—” He broke off, clutching his chest, his jaw tight as though he could strangle the ache gnawing at him. “Why does it feel like something’s been ripped out of me?”
Barty shifted forward, half-raising a hand.
“James, it’s not—”
“Don’t touch me!” James snarled, his wand flashing up. The vacant haze was gone now, replaced with wildness. His eyes cut back to Regulus, blazing with something he didn’t understand but felt like betrayal, like poison.
“You,” he spat. His voice shook, not from weakness, but from the weight of the fury clawing up his throat. “Get out.” His teeth bared. “Get out before I hex you into the fucking floor.”
Regulus’ lips parted, but no words came. The hiss in his skull rose in triumph, a chorus of laughter, cruel and satisfied.
Good, Regulus. He hates you now. He’ll never forgive you.
Regulus felt the ground tilt beneath him. His knees threatened to buckle, but he stayed still, his back pressed against the wall as if it could swallow him whole. His chest heaved, his eyes burning. He wanted to scream that he had no choice, that it was for James, that every broken piece of himself had gone into protecting him. But the words died in his throat, strangled by the weight of James’ hatred.
James raised his wand higher, the point trembling.
“Get. Out.”
And though Regulus wanted nothing more than to throw himself forward, to clutch him, to undo what could never be undone, he only lowered his head, biting back the sob that clawed its way up his throat, and obeyed.
Regulus was standing just outside the library doors when Barty caught up to him. His fingers clamped down hard on Regulus’ shoulder, spinning him around so fast his back thudded against the door frame.
“What the fuck did you do, Regulus?” Barty’s voice was a snarl, low and sharp as a blade. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Regulus’ eyes flickered, just for a moment, then flattened into something cold and brittle. He wrenched his arm free with a sharp twist.
“Suddenly you care about him?” his voice was hoarse.
“I care about you, you piece of shit,” Barty snapped, his voice cracking at the edges. “I care about you, and I care about what this is turning you into. What the fuck did you do to him?”
Evan had to grab Barty’s wrist before he launched himself forward.
“I Obliviated him,” Regulus said at last. The words came out low, almost a whisper, but they hit like a curse. His eyes didn’t move, didn’t blink. “Changed his memories so that he—”
“—so that he can hate you,” Evan finished softly, horror creeping into his voice. His face was pale, his grip on Barty’s arm trembling. “Regulus… why would you do that?”
“BECAUSE I HURT HIM!” Regulus screamed, “Because I nearly killed him while I was dreaming! Do you get that? Dreaming. I woke up with his blood on my hands.”
His whole body trembled, his knuckles white where he gripped the doorframe for balance.
“And you—” his voice cracked, low and dangerous now, a rasp scraped raw. “You always knew.”
Barty’s mouth opened, but no sound came.
“The dreams,” Regulus spat. “The whispers. The sleepwalking. You knew what was happening to me. You watched it crawl under my skin, and you did nothing!”
“Reggie—” Evan tried to take a careful step forward, palms raised, his voice soft, coaxing. “We were trying to help you. We’ve always been trying—”
“Help?” Regulus’ laugh was jagged, broken, splintering the air. His chest heaved as he staggered a step closer, eyes burning into them. “Then tell me this—when I was at Hogwarts, when I was sleepwalking through the castle like a ghost, did I ever hurt you?”
Silence.
Barty’s jaw tightened, his eyes flicking away. Evan shifted on his feet. The pause told him everything.
Regulus’ voice dropped, shaking with something perilous.
“Answer me.”
But none of them said anything, and that, for Regulus, was enough to know that he did something.
The world seemed to tilt sideways. He saw it in a flash. The bruise on Evan’s arm that morning, pale skin marred by purple shadows. Evan had waved it off, said something about bumping into a door, some clumsy accident, as though the mark had been born of thin air. Regulus had let himself believe it. He had let himself believe it because the alternative was unthinkable.
“It was me, wasn’t it?” His voice was a rasp now, raw with dawning horror. “The reason why you had that bruise that morning.”
Evan’s face fell. His mouth opened, closed again, like a man drowning under words he could not say. His silence was an answer all by itself.
The memory came back clearer than he wanted: the weight of his own hand clamped on Evan’s arm, the flash of confusion in Evan’s eyes, the way he had flinched but said nothing, had smiled even, small and brittle, because what else could he do? And Regulus—Salazar, Regulus had convinced himself that he’d only dreamed the sound of Evan’s hiss of pain. That the bruise had been an accident. But it hadn’t been. It had been real. It had been him.
His stomach twisted. He felt sick. He wanted to claw the memory out of his head.
“I want you to stay away from me.”
The words came out flat, but they hung in the air for several seconds like a sentence being passed.
“What?” Evan’s eyes snapped to him, wide, disbelieving, his voice catching as though he hadn’t heard right.
“Fuck off, we’re not going to do that,” Barty snarled, too fast, too loud, his fists clenching at his sides. His voice cracked on the edges, more desperate than angry.
Regulus only stared at them, hollow-eyed, as though he had expected this exact reaction. Slowly, painfully, the corners of his lips lifted into a small, sad smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I had the feeling that would be your answer, Barty.” His voice was low, frayed with exhaustion and something softer, like grief. He shook his head faintly, almost as if he pitied them. “You never could let go, even when it was the only mercy left.”
Evan took a half-step toward him, arm reaching out as if to catch something already slipping away.
“Reggie—don’t. Don’t do this. You don’t mean it.”
But Regulus did not stop. He turned, each step dragging like his body was weighted down with chains, and pushed open the library door.
The old wood groaned as it swung wide, the sound filling the silence between them. He didn’t look back, not even once, though he could feel their stares burning into his spine, their unsaid words clawing for release.
And then he stepped inside, the darkness of the library embracing him like a lost lover.
The sound of magic shuddered through the house. It wasn’t loud, not a bang, not a crash, but a sharp, unmistakable crackle that rippled through the walls and floorboards, rattling down into their bones. The wards sealed into place with ruthless finality, invisible but suffocating, the air suddenly thick and charged as though the house itself had been locked in grief.
James was still in his room. None of them dared to go and check on him. What was to be checked anyway?
What could they possibly ask a man who had just been Obliviated by the one he loved?
Barty’s wand hand twitched uselessly at his side, his jaw clenched so tight it looked painful. Evan had sunk into one of the armchairs, pale and still, as though the strength had been pulled from him all at once.
The silence that followed was unbearable. Too heavy. Too loud.
“What happened?”
They all turned. Lily stood in the doorway, her hair mussed from sleep, clutching her robe tight to her chest. Her eyes were wide, searching their faces.
No one answered. The weight of the words was too great.
It was Evan who finally spoke, his voice cracked and raw, hardly more than a whisper. His eyes didn’t leave the hallway that stretched toward Regulus’ wing of the manor. He stared at it as though he could force the wards to drop by sheer will, as though he could pierce through stone and spell alike if he just looked hard enough.
“Regulus…” His throat closed around the name. He swallowed, his eyes burning. “Regulus is gone. He… he Obliviated James and locked himself into the library.”
“He did what?” Lily blinked, stunned, her voice sharp as glass. “Obliviated... James?!” She was already halfway turned towards the hallway before Evan’s hand shot out and stopped her.
“Where’s James?” she demanded, her tone urgent, almost frantic.
“His room.”
“Why would Reggie—” she began, but the words faltered, dissolving in disbelief.
“Because that is not Reggie!” Barty snapped, his voice like a whip. His fists slammed onto the table, rattling the bottles and parchment scattered there. “I told Potter to take him out! I told him to do something, anything, before it came to this! And look where we are now!”
“Barty, this is not the time!” Evan’s voice cracked, sharp and desperate.
“The fuck it isn’t!” Barty roared back, his face blotchy with grief and rage. He slammed the table again, harder, until his palm was red. “Look at this fucking mess, Evan! We knew the signs, we fucking saw the signs, every sleepless night, every blackout, every time he flinched like something was inside him, and we still put our hopes in a bloke who—”
“Choose your next words carefully, Crouch,” Lily hissed, cutting through him like steel. Her green eyes flared, sharp as a curse.
Barty glared back, breathing hard, trembling with fury. But before he could snap again, Lily pushed on, her voice steadier, more controlled, though her knuckles were white at her sides.
“How advanced was it?” she asked suddenly, her voice urgent, direct. Her gaze snapped between Evan and Barty, unyielding. “How deeply did he Obliviate him? Did either of you see it?”
The silence that followed was suffocating.
Barty’s jaw worked, his lips pressed in a thin, furious line. Evan shifted, uncomfortable, his eyes darting toward the floor.
“No,” Evan whispered. “When we got there, he was already gone.”
Lily nodded, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Under distress, the spell doesn’t always hold. If Regulus was panicked, if he was unravelling, then the magic might not have rooted itself properly.”
Evan’s head jerked up; eyes wide.
“You mean—”
“I mean, sometimes the brain fights back,” Lily said. “Sometimes it pieces things together on its own. Especially when the memories are—” she faltered, breath catching before she steadied herself again, “—especially when they’re important. When they’re… life-shattering.”
Barty shook his head violently, voice hoarse.
“You think Potter’s just going to wake up one day and remember? That’s not how this works. He’s gone, Lily. Regulus made damn sure of it.”
“You don’t know that,” she shot back, her voice trembling but strong. “You don’t get to decide what James can or can’t remember. The spell isn’t perfect. It never is. The mind is stronger than you think—it bleeds through, it claws back what matters most.”
Evan’s face was pale, his hands twisting together nervously.
“So… you’re saying James could—he could come back from it? That maybe he’ll…” His words trailed off, fragile and hesitant, like he was afraid to hope.
Lily’s jaw clenched. She looked toward the ceiling, toward the room where James lay, her voice softer now but no less fierce.
“If there’s anyone who can tear through magic like this, it’s James. Especially if it’s about Regulus. He won’t let go—not really. Not forever.”
Barty’s eyes narrowed.
“So now what? We tell him what happened, what Reggie did, so he can fight it himself?”
“That is out of discussion.” Lily looked at him, the sharpness of her tone cutting through the air. She drew a slow, deliberate breath, trying to steady herself. “Telling him right now would kill him. Obliviation isn’t just erasure. It’s a wound opened and stitched together with magic. If we tear it open too soon, if James even suspects what’s been taken from him, the mind clamps down harder. It stops trying to heal. It builds walls, thick ones. And hatred and resentment only make the magic dig deeper. We’d be locking him inside his own head forever.”
Evan stared at her, pale.
“So we just… do nothing?”
“No.” Lily shook her head quickly, fiercely. “We don’t do nothing. We protect him. We give him space. We make sure to act like nothing happened. We let his mind do what it’s trying to do, and when pieces start to surface, we guide him. We keep him safe from triggers that will bind the spell tighter. ”
She pushed a hand through her hair, the motion more like a shudder than a gesture.
“In the meantime, I’ll find something. There are texts on mind magic far older than the Ministry-approved garbage they teach us. There are counter-charms, rituals, obscure branches of Legilimency—things buried in archives no one’s touched in decades. If there’s a way to coax memories back without shattering the person holding them, I’ll find it.”
Her eyes flicked between the two of them, clear and hard now, bright with unshed determination.
Evan simply nodded.
“I don’t know how their interactions will be from now on. I don’t know how and to what extent Reggie altered his memories. James already sounded angry.”
“You keep an eye on them”, she said. “We’ll use Cassiopeia’s magpie to communicate. Patronuses and owls are too dangerous. I’ll think of other ways, too, but her bird should be sufficient for now.”
“We?” Barty repeated, incredulous. “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”
Lily’s eyes finally came up to meet his. They were cold and bright at once.
“I am talking about continuing what he started.” Each syllable landed like a hammer blow. “The moment Cassiopeia offers us the slightest possibility she’s intercepted a headquarters, I am taking Mary, and we’re doing what we discussed. The more we stall, the deeper the Horcruxes will sink their clutches into Reggie. We lose him to that slow rot, and we lose him forever. James included.”
“I am still new in the ranks, Evans. I can’t simply let you go. Questions will pop—”
“You kill us,” Lily said. Calm, steady, like she was talking about something as trivial as weather. “No one questions corpses.”
Notes:
In case you missed my extremely nerdy notes, the name makes reference to Dante’s fourth and outermost ring of the Ninth Circle of Hell, specifically reserved for people who betray their closest
Later PS, because I don't want y'all to freak out: James will be back. Slightly deranged, questionable flirting, ungodly events happening in collapsed cathedrals (yes, THAT kind of events), the whole package
I am not leaving my man wandering around without his Reggie, but pls bear with me😭
Chapter 45: Fall of man
Summary:
Pls tell me you're still here, because I still have a concerning number of chapters to throw at you
Also, you’ll probably find James’ memories a little confusing. That is becauseee they never actually happened. They’re just what Reggie planted in his head
Promise you the next chapter will explain what Reggie is 😌
Chapter Text
There was light in the room.
Not sunlight, but that same gloomy, greenish hue that filtered through his drapes like swamp water. It clung to the walls, turned the air heavy.
James didn’t close an eye all night. He couldn’t. His body was exhausted, but his mind churned, thrashing restlessly, snagging itself over and over on jagged thoughts that refused to settle.
He just lay there, staring at the ceiling, tracing invisible cracks that weren’t really there, and feeling, down to the marrow, that some part of him, something intrinsic, had been ripped out.
It wasn’t a surface wound. It was deeper than flesh. A hollow carved in him that his own memories wouldn’t name.
He kept recounting everything that had happened since he was brought to Grimmauld.
The word hissed every time he thought it, sour and bitter as bile. Regulus had invoked his family’s right, their suffocating, ancient laws, and had bought him. A life, a person, transacted like an object. Then he had been dragged into this mausoleum of despair, this house that stank of death even when the fires were lit, and deposited in this room like a prized acquisition. A room that felt too much like a cage.
He remembered the endless discussions behind closed doors. The whispered plotting around tables that seemed to stretch into eternity. He remembered peeking into the drawing rooms and seeing plans drawn, destroyed, redrawn until they blurred into one indistinguishable mass. He remembered the nights Regulus vanished from Grimmauld with Barty and Evan at his heels, returning hours later with shadows clinging to his skin, his clothes saturated with the stench of dark magic and death. James could smell it even now if he closed his eyes.
And he remembered the hatred.
Oh, how he hated him.
He hated the way Regulus looked at him, like he owned him, like James Potter was nothing more than a weapon to be polished, positioned, and unleashed at the right moment. He hated the casual cruelty of invoking blood law, hated the arrogance it took to stand before James and his friends and reduce them to commodities.
Objects at an auction. Bargains struck in candlelight.
That tournament had been a farce, and Regulus had been the one to twist its outcome into shackles.
The hatred made sense. It was clean. Clear. It was the only thing that didn’t blur when James replayed it all in his mind.
And yet—
Yet there was something missing.
Like a puzzle with a piece deliberately carved out, its absence screaming louder than the rest of the image. It gnawed at him. Mocked him. Every time he let his mind run over the memories, it hit the same hollow place, the gap where something should have been. Something important. Something vital.
The hatred was real. It burned like acid through his veins. But it sat strangely inside him, like it had been grafted there. Like it wasn’t entirely his. He hated Regulus with every breath, with every thought, but when he tried to summon the why, when he dug into the root of it, the reasons unravelled. His mind offered fragments, cold eyes across a table, cruel words whispered in dim corridors, the humiliation of being owned, but none of it filled the void perfectly.
None of it explained the jagged ache that lived under the hatred.
It was maddening.
James sat up in bed, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes until sparks flared against the darkness. He wanted to claw at his own skull, to rip apart the fog that clung there. Something was wrong. He could feel it like a stone lodged beneath his ribs.
He tried to breathe it away, tried to anchor himself in the certainty of loathing, in the memory of Regulus’ smirk, his cold-blooded bargains. But the more he recited his hatred, the more it slipped through his fingers.
Bought, not brought. Auction, not choice.
The words rang hollow.
And still, that missing piece lurked at the edges of his mind, taunting him.
Why couldn’t he remember?
Why did the thought of Regulus sting like a bruise pressed too hard?
Why did his chest ache, as if hatred wasn’t the whole story?
As if there was something beneath it he had lost, something so devastating that his mind had locked it away for fear he wouldn’t survive it?
James’ fists clenched in the sheets, his knuckles white. The greenish light painted his skin sickly.
“I hate him,” he whispered into the emptiness. The words caught in his throat, as if the air itself resisted them. He said it again, louder this time, spitting it like venom. “I hate him.”
But it didn’t soothe the ache.
It only deepened it.
And the ceiling above him remained silent, as if mocking him with the truth he couldn’t touch.
It was maddening.
Utterly, soul-breakingly maddening.
It was almost midday when James finally left his room. Not because he wanted, but because he was hungry and he didn’t want one of them to come and drag him out of the room. He kept his eyes low as he passed the countless closed doors. Sirius’ old room flashed by on his left; the brass handle glinted dully in the low light.
He kept going.
The next door was Regulus’. Its paint was darker, its frame narrower. Today, it sat slightly ajar, a sliver of darkness visible beyond. James slowed without meaning to, his feet dragging over the carpet until he stopped completely. He stared at the gap, at the nothingness beyond it, and his heart gave a strange, uneven lurch.
This. I’ve stood here before.
The feeling struck him like a cold wave. The same déjà vu. The same sensation he’d had earlier when he’d glanced at the empty pillow beside his own in the morning light. The same sense that someone had been there, had belonged there, that he’d reached out for them before waking.
His hand twitched toward the doorframe, then fell back to his side. His breath grew shallow. He tried to conjure up a reason.
Why would he stop here?
Why would this doorway matter?
But the harder he reached, the more the answers slipped through his fingers like water.
James swore under his breath, pressing the heel of his palm to his temple.
What the hell is wrong with me?
By the time he reached the staircase, his palms were damp and his heart was hammering as if he’d run. He gripped the banister and stood there for a moment, staring down into the dim light of the lower floor.
The stairs creaked under his bare feet as he descended into the dining room. He shoved his hands into his pockets, jaw tight, eyes still bruised from a night without sleep. When he entered the room, he was surprised to see that Lily and Mary were already there. He sometimes forgot they were also living under the same roof.
They were, weren’t they?
Lily was at the table, a roll of parchment spread in front of her, quill tapping restlessly against the wood. Mary sat cross-legged beside her, a knitted blanket around her shoulders, nursing a cup of tea that had long gone cold. The smell of bread and roast still hung faintly in the air; their plates were empty, crumbs scattered all over the table.
Both looked up the moment James appeared in the doorway.
“You’re awake,” Lily said carefully.
“Obviously.” His voice came out sharper than he intended. He shrugged, trying to shake off the tension that pressed against his skin. “Sorry, rough night.”
Mary tilted her head, her gaze flicking between him and Lily.
“Reggie is still in the library. Barty and Evan are out,” she said gently, like she was offering a piece of information she thought might matter to him. “They left about an hour ago.”
James blinked at her. Once. Twice. Then he frowned.
“Why are you telling me that?”
Mary’s brows knitted.
“I… I thought you’d want to know.”
“Why the hell would I care where they are?” James snapped, throwing his arms out. The anger surprised even him, spilling out like a reflex.
Lily’s eyes narrowed. She stilled the quill in her hand and leaned forward, her voice low but sharp.
“James, what were you doing yesterday?”
“What?” His brows furrowed. “What kind of question is that?”
“Yesterday,” Lily repeated. “Tell me what you were doing. From morning until night.”
James huffed, rolling his shoulders.
“What I do every day? Sit in my room. Stare at the walls. Wish I wasn’t rotting in this tomb. What kind of question is that?”
“All day?” Lily’s tone didn’t shift, but her eyes were watching him like a hawk, cataloguing every twitch.
James laughed, but it was hollow, humourless.
“Yes. All day. What is this? Some kind of test? You’re quizzing me on my boring days now? Do you think I’m keeping a diary of this prison sentence?”
Mary’s knuckles whitened around her cup. She shot Lily a look, a flicker of fear passing between them. Lily’s mouth was a thin line.
“What about Regulus?” Lily asked softly.
James blinked.
“What about him?”
“What do you remember about him? What was he doing yesterday?”
He stared at her as if she’d spoken in another language.
“Why the fuck would I remember anything about him? He’s a Death Eater. Probably counting his galleons and seeing how many people he can buy. Isn’t that what he does?”
Mary’s breath hitched audibly, her hand flying to her mouth. Lily’s expression, though, turned colder, harder.
“James… when was the last time you spoke to Regulus? Not here. Before. During and after the war.”
James opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He blinked, frowning as though the question didn't make sense.
“I— I don’t know. I don’t—why does it matter? We weren’t friends. We barely tolerated each other. I’m sure I hexed him once or twice.”
“What about the tower? Do you remember it?”
“The tower?” James repeated, blinking. “Of course, I remember the tower. I’m not senile. The trials, the summons—” He gave a short, humourless laugh. “What’s to remember? Regulus was always in the corner with his Death Eater friends, whispering like snakes. I kept my distance. He kept his. That was it.”
Mary shifted in her chair, watching him like someone trying to trace a pattern in fog.
“Okay,” Lily whispered.
“Why are you both acting like I’ve lost my mind?” James snapped, but there was a flicker of unease in his eyes. “I know what I saw. I know who he is. I know what he’s done. Regulus Black, pureblood prince, little snake, Voldemort’s favourite lapdog. That’s who he’s always been.”
Lily lowered her quill, fingers laced together on the table. She didn’t contradict him; she only tilted her head and asked softly, “And that’s all you remember?”
James stared at her, jaw tight.
“That’s all there is to remember,” James said again, but the words rang too sharp, a brittle edge hidden under the flatness. His fingers drummed once against the table and then curled into fists. He dropped his gaze to the floor, as if looking away would make the uneasiness in his chest disappear.
Mary glanced at Lily, then leaned forward just a fraction.
“What about the meetings we had?” she asked softly, like she was stepping onto thin ice.
James’ head snapped up, eyes narrowing.
“The ones where I was kept locked in the room not to snoop around? Or the ones where I had to pour them drinks like a good little slave?” His laugh was short and ugly. “Those meetings?”
“You weren’t locked in,” Lily said carefully. “You—”
“I was,” James cut her off, voice rising. “Don’t act like I don’t know. Don’t act like you don’t remember, either. Regulus and his little court, Barty, Evan, the whole bloody lot, sitting around like they owned the world. And me?” His jaw clenched. “I was just the Gryffindor trophy they dragged in for the fun of it. The charity case. The pet.”
Mary’s eyes widened, her teacup trembling a little in her hand. “James,” she murmured, “that’s not—”
“You think I am lying?” James demanded. He shoved back from the table slightly, the chair legs screeching on the floor. “I remember being told to stand at the door. To shut up when they talked. To fetch things. Like some—some servant. You don’t forget things like that.”
He was breathing harder now, and his hand went to his temple as though the memories themselves were pressing too hard against his skull. Flashes came in bursts. Dark wood, candlelight, whispers in a language he didn’t know, Regulus’ face half in shadow, but they slid away when he tried to hold them.
Lily’s hand reached out, palm up, voice soft but steady.
“Okay, okay. No one here thinks you’re lying.”
He pulled back from her touch as though it burned.
“Then why are you both looking at me like I’m mad? Like you know something I don’t?”
Mary’s lips parted, but she caught Lily’s eye. The warning there was clear. They’d gone far enough. Push any harder and he’d shut down completely.
Lily swallowed, then forced a small, measured smile.
“It’s been a long few days. Maybe you’re tired.”
James blinked at her, breathing shallowly. The tension in his shoulders didn’t ease.
“I’m fine,” he muttered. “I don’t need you picking through my head.”
“No one’s picking through anything,” Mary said softly. She set her cup down, fingers laced together. “Eat something. Get some air. We can talk later.”
For a moment, James stared at them both, suspicion flickering in his eyes like a live wire. Then he gave a jerky nod and turned away from them, muttering something under his breath. His hands trembled as he reached for a piece of bread, as though he was trying to ground himself in the most ordinary act he could find.
Lily and Mary watched him in silence, their expressions unreadable.
“He doesn’t remember it at all.”Mary leaned in close and whispered
“No,” Lily whispered back, eyes still on James’ hunched shoulders. “He remembers something else entirely.”
James was hunched over his plate, shoving his food around with his fork, when the sound of Apparition cut the silence of the house. His head snapped up, heart hammering. Instinct made him tense, shoulders coiled like springs. He glanced at the girls and saw that they’d stiffened too, but only for a moment before they relaxed again, trading glances that looked almost rehearsed.
Cassiopeia entered the dining room, Marlene slipping past her.
“Morning, James,” she said over her shoulder and went straight to Lily and Mary. He saw Mary lean toward her and whisper something quick and low into her ear. James couldn’t hear the words. He didn’t need to. He saw the way Marlene’s head turned just slightly, her eyes sliding to him with a look that wasn’t curiosity and wasn’t pity but something colder — something that made his stomach clench. His fork clattered against the plate.
That nauseous sensation came again, like he’d been tipped forward out of his own skin. The room felt suddenly too small, too bright, the air pressing against him. But he had other things to think about. Bigger things. Respectively, the Death Eater who had just entered the room.
No.
Not just any Death Eater, but Voldemort’s right hand.
Cassiopeia Selwyn.
James stared. She slid into one of the empty chairs with the slow elegance of a predator, poured a measure of dark red wine into her glass, and took a sip without once breaking eye contact with Lily.
“Where are the rest?” she asked casually, like she was asking about the weather.
James opened his mouth, but before he could say a word, Lily answered.
“Barty and Evan are on a mission. At least that’s what Barty said this morning. Regulus is…” she hesitated, “…still in the library.”
Cassiopeia stopped mid-movement, her glass hovering an inch from her lips. Slowly, very slowly, she turned her head and looked at James. Blinked once. Twice. A muscle jumped in her jaw. Her gaze was cool but not neutral; it was assessing, peeling him apart.
James felt heat crawl up the back of his neck. His fork scraped across the plate.
“What?” he muttered. “Why are you all looking at me like that?”
No one answered. Marlene leaned closer to Mary again. Lily’s fingers stilled against the tabletop, tapping once, twice, then stopping.
Cassiopeia finally looked away, back at Lily. Her voice was quiet, almost too quiet.
“Alphard’s library, or the family’s?”
“Alphard’s,” Lily answered, her tone clipped. “There are wards in place, so it might be—”
But Cassiopeia was already rising from her chair. She smoothed her robes once, eyes flicking over James one last time, unreadable and cold, before she turned and left. Her heels made no sound on the old floorboards.
James sat rigid, feeling their eyes on him even after she was gone. He put his fork down carefully, like any sudden movement might make them all pounce.
“What the hell was that about?” James asked finally, his voice cracking the silence like a whip. “Why is she here?”
Mary forced a thin smile.
“Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry about?” His voice pitched higher, incredulous. “Voldemort’s right hand waltzes in here, sits down at our table, and you tell me it’s nothing?” He swung his gaze to Marlene, eyes scanning her like he was counting bruises. “Did she hurt you? Did she touch either of you?”
Marlene blinked, startled.
“Wh—what?” she whispered.
“You heard me.” He rose from the table, raking a hand through his hair. “Just—if she said something, if she threatened you—”
“She didn’t,” Lily said sharply. She’d gone still, quill poised mid-air. “James, sit down.”
“No. I want to know why you’re all acting like it’s normal. She’s Voldemort’s right hand and you’re having tea with her—”
“James,” Mary said quietly, “please. Lower your voice.”
He stared at her, chest heaving, then let out a harsh laugh.
“Lower my voice? Am I the only one seeing what’s happening here?” He pointed toward the door Cassiopeia had left through. “She walks in, you whisper behind your hands, and then you all look at me like I’m the bloody problem.”
Nobody moved. Marlene glanced at Lily, then back at him, her mouth opening and closing as if she wanted to speak but couldn’t find the right words.
“James…” Lily’s voice was softer now, but steady. “No one’s hurt. Nothing happened. Please, sit.”
James pressed the heel of his hand against his temple. A pulse throbbed behind his eyes.
“I can’t,” he muttered. “My head—Merlin, my head hurts.”
“I have some Draught of Peace in my room,” Mary offered, starting to rise from her chair. “I’ll go and bring you some.”
“No,” he said again, shaking his head. “I’m going to my room.” He took a step back, jaw tight, eyes darting between their faces like he was trying to solve a riddle. “Something’s wrong. All of you are acting wrong.”
“James,” Lily called after him, but he was already turning away.
He stopped in the doorway, hand gripping the frame, and spoke without looking back. “If she hurt you and you’re hiding it… If she did anything… you’ll tell me, right? Promise me you’ll tell me.”
Marlene swallowed hard.
“We will,” she said softly, though her eyes flicked to Lily again.
James gave a short, bitter laugh.
“Right. Sure.” Then he left, the echo of his footsteps stretching down the corridor until the house swallowed him.
Cassiopeia passed through Regulus’ wards without so much as a shiver.
In truth, she hadn’t even needed to press because the magic peeled back for her like gauze being lifted from a wound. No resistance. No pulse of warning. Nothing. The absence unsettled her more than any curse would have.
Regulus’ wards were never sloppy. Which meant they weren’t meant for her at all.
The wards lay like mist, heavy and secretive, but not a single thread brushed against her.
Not for me, she thought grimly. He’s locking them out, not me.
Knowing Regulus, that was deliberate. He’d always been selective with his barriers, as precise with his magic as he was with his knives.
She hadn’t planned to be here at all. Today was supposed to be routine, or at least as close to routine as this war allowed. She was to meet one of the Order’s informants, a shadow moving deep inside Voldemort’s ranks. She didn’t even know the spy’s name. She knew only fragments: a small frame glimpsed once through a Disillusionment charm, fingers too slender and deliberate to belong to a man. A flick of the wrist when passing a note. A posture held too tightly, as though bracing for blows. A woman, then. Always masked, always with her voice magically bent into something flat and anonymous, but Cassiopeia had learned to read bodies before she read faces.
She was supposed to hand over intelligence and finalize Lily and Mary’s departure. Keep the timetable clean.
Instead, she’d received a letter, ink smudged as if written in a trembling hand. No signature, but it didn’t need one. The words themselves were enough to sour her blood:
He’s losing it. He obliviated James.
Cassiopeia had read the line three times before the meaning set in.
Her blood had gone cold.
Regulus would never… she stopped herself.
No, not true.
Regulus would never have wanted to harm James. But want was not the same as being able. Merlin knew she’d seen how far he’d go for the boy—what he’d done during the trials, the way he’d flown at Lucius Malfoy like a starved wolf, teeth bared, when the older wizard had sneered too close to James.
She’d seen Regulus half-feral, standing over James like a guard dog that had forgotten its leash.
He had killed for James before.
The letter crumpled in her hand. She imagined the scene: Regulus’ pale face slick with sweat, his wand trembling, James staring at him in shock before the spell bloomed and memory collapsed. She imagined the sound of the word Obliviate leaving Regulus’ mouth, how it must have cracked him open to say it.
Something was happening there. Something that had been building for months, maybe years, under the surface of the war and the family curses.
Cassiopeia’s boots clicked softly across the old parquet floors. The house reeked of polish and dust, of things buried and unspoken. Every portrait she passed seemed to tilt a little, as though watching. She felt, absurdly, like a trespasser in a graveyard, the air heavy with the weight of generations and secrets she’d rather not know.
You’re late, a voice in her head hissed. It was her own, but harsher. Too late, and you’ll find nothing left to save.
Her pace quickened. She had always prided herself on arriving before the fire started, on being the one who could smell the smoke in time to drag people out.
But this? This was a blaze already burning. Regulus had crossed a line that might never be uncrossed.
She reached the door to Alphard’s library—Regulus’ chosen sanctuary. A faint tremor of old blood wards clung to the wood, but they parted under her touch. The latch turned with a whisper, and she stood there, hand still on the knob, feeling the cool seep of magic against her palm.
She took a breath and closed the door behind her.
Grimmauld Place had always been cold, a house of draughts and grudges, but the library was different. The moment Cassiopeia stepped across the threshold, it felt as though she had crossed into a frozen hell.
The air pressed down on her chest, tight and stale, threaded with something malevolent — an unseen presence that seemed to crouch in the corners, watching, waiting. The silence was alive with it. Shadows stretched unnaturally across the spines of old books, and the faint smell of candlewax and scorched parchment filled her nose.
Only one candle burned on the desk at the far end, its thin flame quivering as if trying not to be noticed.
“Cassiopeia,” a voice rasped from the dark.
She squinted, eyes straining to adjust. The figure at the edge of the candlelight might as well have been carved from shadow.
“What brings you here?” Regulus asked, but something was wrong with his voice. It was hoarse, scraped raw, like something had clawed at his throat and left only an echo of the boy she knew.
“Lily wrote me,” she spoke, not bothering with pleasantries. “Told me what you did.”
Regulus scoffed, stepping into the faint light, and Cassiopeia almost recoiled at his sight. His eyes were empty. Like someone had scooped out everything human and left only a cold reflection. Even when his gaze met hers, she felt no recognition, no warmth. It was like being looked through. She’d known him since he was a boy hiding behind his brother’s robes at family gatherings, soft-voiced and sharp-eyed.
She had seen him bloodied, furious, even mad with grief. But she had never seen this.
“Evans should learn to mind her own business,” he murmured, almost idly.
“Why did you do it, Regulus?” Cassiopeia advanced.
“Which part?” Regulus tilted his head, and it looked more animal than human.
“You know which one,” she whispered, “don’t play coy with me, boy.”
“You came here to scold me?”
“I came here to put some sense in your head,” she shot back. “I’m sure you'd rather prefer me than Rabastan or Sirius.”
“Keep my brother out of this,” Regulus hissed, a flicker of real emotion at last.
“Then tell me,” she said after a beat, her eyes raking over him. “Why did you do it?”
Up close, she could see how bad it was. His hands trembled faintly, his skin pale beneath dark circles like bruises. There was something festering inside him, not just the house’s oppressive weight but something far darker, eating him alive from the inside.
“Because,” he frowned, as if it was hard for him to remember why he did it in the first place. “Because he is no longer safe around me. I—I hurt him. I almost killed him. I—”
His voice broke into a low snarl.
“The voices wanted me to—”
“Voices?” Cassiopeia’s eyes flicked to the desk. Books were strewn everywhere, spines cracked, pages filled with cramped notes and symbols she didn’t immediately recognize. Her stomach tightened. “What voices, Regulus?”
“I don’t know!” he snapped suddenly, his composure shattering. His hands shot up to his hair, clutching at it like he could claw the noise out. “I don’t fucking know! They’ve been whispering in my head since I destroyed the ring. I can’t sleep. I can’t—” His breath hitched, wild and uneven. “I can’t fucking think!”
“Regulus—”
“I needed him out,” he cut her off, his voice sharp and too loud in the suffocating library. His eyes were wide, frantic, glinting in the weak candlelight like an animal cornered. “I knew he would never leave me. This—this was the only way to get him out. To push him so far away that he’d never come back. I need him to hate me, Cassiopeia. I need him to resent me so badly that when the time comes, he won’t—he won’t look back.”
"The time for what...?" She whispered, but Regulus was not done. He clutched his hands into fists, his knuckles white, his whole body trembling.
“I can’t keep him here,” he gasped. “I almost killed him for fuck’s sake. I was—I was dreaming, and I did that!”
Cassiopeia stepped closer, her voice low, careful, but not soft.
“Regulus. Look at me.”
But his gaze skittered away from her like a trapped bird. He backed toward the desk, knocking a stack of books to the floor with a clatter. His breath came in short, uneven bursts.
“They’re whispering again,” he said suddenly, his voice trembling. “Right now. They’re whispering again—” He pressed his palms to his ears as though to shut them out, his eyes wild. “They’re telling me to kill. To slaughter. To tear and maim—” His voice broke into a rasp, half-sob, half-snarl. “Do you know what that’s like, Cassiopeia? To hear them, always, in the back of your skull? To wake up with their claws in your mind?”
Cassiopeia froze where she stood, her stomach clenching.
“What are they telling you exactly?” she asked, forcing her voice to stay steady.
“They tell me how easy it would be,” Regulus whispered, his tone shifting again—cold now, distant. “How soft skin is. How quickly blood flows. How simple it would be to end everything. They tell me I’m already theirs. That it is just a matter of time.”
Cassiopeia moved another step closer, her mind racing.
“Regulus, when did they start? The whispers. Tell me what triggers them. Was it after the ring? Only at night? In your dreams?”
He laughed then—a sharp, cracked sound that scraped the walls.
“The ring. The cursed bloody ring. I thought I could outsmart it. I thought I could take it, destroy it, and walk away. But it’s in me now. They’re in me now. Even when I’m awake, Cassiopeia. Especially when I’m awake.” He dragged his nails across his own arms like he could scratch them out.
“Does anything stop them?” she pressed, eyes flicking to the wand still clutched in his hand. “Does anything quiet them down? Magic? Potions? Anything?”
“Nothing,” Regulus spat. “Not the draughts, not the wards I built, not even pain. It’s like they’re feeding on me, like they’re waiting for me to slip. And when I sleep, Merlin, when I sleep—” He squeezed his eyes shut, trembling so hard his teeth chattered. “They bring me here. Every night. Every fucking night. They bring me here and I wake up staring and the fucking walls.”
“I’ll need to bring Illyan,” Cassiopeia said quietly, and the words hung in the library like a verdict.
Regulus’ head snapped up so fast his hair fell forward.
“Why?” His voice was flat, but the edge in it was razor-sharp.
“Because there is something here,” she said, careful and steady, “and he will know which of these cursed things does this to you. He understands these strains of magic. He reads them.” Her gaze never left Regulus’ face. “He’s dealt with bindings like this before.”
“No,” Regulus said darkly.
“Regulus—” she began, softening as she stepped an inch closer.
“I said—” he started, and his jaw worked. The room contracted around him; the candle flame trembled.
“I heard what you said,” Cassiopeia cut him off, and for the first time in years, her temper slipped. Her voice sharpened, not cruelly but with a fierce, maternal force that flattened the air between them. “And I am not one of your friends to let this slide. I will not pretend I don’t see you dying little by little.”
Regulus’ mouth fell open. He was used to commands, to people ordering him about, to the sharp rhetoric of Black family authority, but this was not a rebuke from an aunt or an imperious sister. This was a woman stepping into the space of a mother, and it struck him like a slap to his cheek.
“You want to lash out at me?” she said, each word measured and unyielding. “Go ahead. Try to push me away. Wreathe the room in wards. Do what you always do: hide behind magic and silence. But understand this—try me, Regulus. Try me, and I will not back down.”
Heat flared in his eyes, yet underneath it a small, almost bewildered thing flickered: the child he once had been, caught in the light.
“You think you know what I am,” he whispered. “You think you can come in and… what? Diagnose me? Stitch the seam?”
Cassiopeia’s jaw tightened.
“I’m not diagnosing. I’m protecting.” Her voice dropped, softer now. She crossed the distance, closed the space so that he couldn’t retreat into the stacks of books. When she reached him, she did something he had not felt in a long time: she put her hands on his shoulders and held him there, steadying, maternal. Warmth and authority, all at once.
Regulus stared at her like a man glimpsing an impossible shore.
“You’re not—” he began, and the word died on his lips.
“I will not let whatever is festering inside you claim you,” she said, and it was not a threat to him but to whatever had taken hold. “Am I clear?”
He swallowed. The bravado he wore so easily frayed visibly. For all his flint and knives, for all his brittle defences, Regulus had been a small boy once—shy behind his brother’s back, learning how to make himself into something feared rather than loved.
“You think I want this?” Regulus breathed, the words as much a plea as an accusation. “Do you think I wanted to make him forget? To—” He broke off, and his eyes flashed wet, raw.
“No,” Cassiopeia said, quieter, closer. “I don’t know what you want. But you do not have to rot in silence because you are ashamed.” She raised her palm and touched Regulus’ cheek, his knees almost buckling. “Let Illyan look. Let him test the wards. Let him find the rot and name it for what it is. If there’s any part of you that wants to fight, he’ll help you.”
Regulus’ lips trembled.
“I can’t be seen like this,” he said, hoarse. “Not by them.”
“Then not by them,” Cassiopeia said. “By me. By Illyan. We will keep your shame between us and try to throw it off you. But you must let us. You must let someone be angry for you instead of you being angry with the world until you self-destruct.”
Up close, Regulus looked younger than his years. The lines carved into his face gave way to a boy who had been taught to be cruel so he would not be hurt. Shock softened his features, then flared into something like gratitude, sudden and fragile.
“You sound like a mother,” he said, incredulous, a laugh choking at the back of it.
Cassiopeia allowed herself the smallest, tired smile. Not mocking, not indulgent, but honest.
“Someone has to be one,” she said. She stepped back, though she kept her hands near him as if she could still reach out in a second. “I’ll go and fetch Illyan. I’ll bring whatever he needs.”
Cassiopeia let out a long breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.
“Until then, don’t touch any of those books.”
Chapter 46: The harbringer
Summary:
Me, after hitting ‘post’ 🧍♀️ because I'VE BEEN WAITING TO FINALLY POST THIS CHAPTER
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Illyan didn’t come the same day.
Cassiopeia had tried to contact him for hours, moving from one network of old contacts to another, but the man was a ghost even by his own standards.
No response from the firecall.
No response from the owl.
No one had seen him in Knockturn.
She had even Apparated to Rabastan’s house in desperation, certain that Remus, who always knew where everyone was, would at least have a hint. Yet no one knew.
So, she wrote yet another letter, sealed it, and tied it to the leg of her magpie, whispering the coordinates she hoped would reach him. The bird ruffled its feathers once and vanished into the cold.
When she returned to the sitting room, Rabastan was already waiting, leaning back in his chair with a bottle of something expensive. She raised her wand, flicked it once, and cast a silencing charm so strong the air in the room shuddered around them. The last thing she needed was Sirius eavesdropping from whatever dark corner he brooded in.
“Voldemort is preparing something,” she said finally, her voice low.
It wasn’t a question. It was a pronouncement.
Rabastan gave a short, humourless laugh.
“Yeah. Remus also told me what they pulled with Bellatrix. They were lucky she didn’t sniff them out.” He glanced at her, reading the weight in her posture. “How’s Reggie?”
Cassiopeia sat down, exhaling like she’d been holding her breath for days.
“Bad,” she admitted. Her fingers pressed hard against her temples. “Worse than I thought. I have a feeling there’s another Horcrux in that house.”
That made Rabastan’s hand slip, and the bottle clinked hard against the table. He swore under his breath, staring at her as though she’d said something obscene.
“What?”
“I said—”
“I heard you.” His voice was low now, almost a growl. “I just… why the hell would he hide one of them there?”
“Because Walburga was a mad hag,” Cassiopeia snapped, throwing her hands up. “You really think she wouldn’t cradle one of his soul-shards like a reliquary if he asked her? You know how she worshipped him.”
Rabastan sat back, rubbing his jaw.
“True,” he muttered after a moment. “But… how? Are you sure—”
“The signs are there, Rabastan.” Her voice dropped again, all the fury leached into something quieter, colder.
He scoffed, trying to shake off the creeping dread.
“Come on, Cass. It’s a coincidence. A sick coincidence, but still—”
“Rabastan, he had those dreams before.” Her eyes snapped to his, hard. “He knew where the locket was. He knew about the cave, the boat, the wards—things even the Dark Lord’s inner circle didn’t know. He dreamed about the ring, for Merlin’s sake. No one knew it was hidden in the Gaunts’ shack. Not even I knew.”
He opened his mouth, closed it, then tried again.
“Ok, maybe he is a seer, but—”
“He’s not just a seer.” She leaned forward, her voice a whisper now. “He doesn’t see the future. If my theory is right…” She faltered for a moment, a rare hesitation, then forced the words out. “He might be linked to the Horcruxes.”
Rabastan’s eyes widened.
“You’re implying what I think you’re implying?”
“No.” Cassiopeia’s head snapped up, sharp as a whip. “Regulus is not a Horcrux. If he were, James would already be sick, twisted, warped by proximity. What I’m saying is… his visions, his dreams, his episodes, might be triggered when a Horcrux is nearby. It’s like…” She searched for the words. “Like a tuning fork. Something in him vibrates with the magic.”
Rabastan’s face went pale as he stared at her.
“The dreams he had at Hogwarts…”
Cassiopeia nodded once.
“There was a Horcrux hidden in the Room of Requirement. Voldemort must’ve moved it after Regulus destroyed the locket.”
“Hence the dreams,” Rabastan said numbly. He stared at the wall for a long moment, his knuckles white on the bottle. “Fuck. If there’s been a Horcrux in Grimmauld Place this whole time…”
“We had it under our noses all these years,” Cassiopeia said softly.
“And it’s been feeding from him all this time.” His voice was flat, horrified.
Cassiopeia shut her eyes for a second.
“Feeding,” she repeated. “Whispering. Warping. He’s deteriorating, and fast.” She looked at Rabastan, and for a flicker her mask cracked. “You didn’t see his eyes today. They were… gone. Like he wasn’t in there anymore.”
Rabastan swore again, more quietly this time.
“Then we’re running out of time.”
“Yes,” she said, and her tone was grave enough to make the silencing charm hum. “We are.”
“But something still doesn’t add up,” Rabastan muttered after a while, swirling the glass between his fingers. “Never—not once—in the history of the Black family has there been a seer. Not in the archives, not in the whispers. Why Regulus?”
Cassiopeia’s eyes darkened. She set her own glass down without drinking, her fingers trembling against the rim.
“He wasn’t born a seer,” she said at last. Her voice was a low rasp, like it hurt to speak the words. “He was made. By Voldemort himself.”
“What?” Rabastan’s mouth tightened.
“I remember…” Cassiopeia swallowed hard, her throat clicking. “I remember Voldemort asking Walburga to bring young Regulus to his manor in Little Hangleton. He was still a boy—small, quiet. I didn’t know why, and I never asked. At the time, I thought it was just Voldemort’s way of acknowledging Walburga, of binding her more tightly to him. She basked in it. She thought it was an honour.” Cassiopeia’s lips curled bitterly. “But now…”
She trailed off and downed her whiskey in one long swallow, the burn doing nothing to steady her.
“Now I think it was something else entirely.”
Rabastan’s fingers stilled on his glass.
“What happened?”
“Years ago, there was a meeting,” Cassiopeia whispered. “Regulus was still in Hogwarts. Voldemort came to Grimmauld—no pomp, no warning—and demanded the presence of the boys. Sirius was already with the Potters, but Regulus… Regulus was still there. Still pliable. Walburga practically pushed him forward.” Her voice cracked, but she kept going. “I was there. In the same room. And I saw—Merlin help me, I saw Voldemort use Legilimency on the boy. But it was different. Not just a probe. Not a test. Something else. Something deeper. It was like watching him thread a needle through Regulus’ mind.”
Rabastan’s face went pale.
“Thread a needle?”
“I believe that’s when he marked him,” Cassiopeia said, her voice flat now.
“What do you mean by ‘marked’? He got his Dark Mark after the trials.” Rabastan blinked hard, leaning forward.
“Not the Dark Mark.” Her laugh was hollow. “The Dark Mark is a leash, Rabastan. This was something else. Something older. Something far worse.” She leaned back in her chair as if the weight of her own words threatened to crush her. “Voldemort is a decaying, walking corpse, and we both know it. He’s only still upright because he’s been drinking unicorn blood for months. Months, Rabastan. He can’t hold his body together forever, especially now. His magic is fraying. His soul is slipping. The cycle will have to start again soon, and for that to happen, he will need another body.”
She paused deliberately; her eyes fixed on Rabastan’s as though daring him to look away.
“Someone young. Someone powerful. Someone pure-blooded.”
The words hit the air like a dropped blade. Rabastan sat frozen for a moment, then swore softly under his breath.
“No,” he whispered. His knuckles were white on the glass. “You’re saying he plans to make Regulus his next host?”
Cassiopeia’s gaze flicked to him, hard as flint.
“Why do you think Regulus has visions only if the Horcruxes are around? Why do you think the voices are louder for him than for anyone else? He isn’t just sensing them, Rabastan, he’s linked to them. Like a nerve. Like an anchor. And Voldemort will need that connection when the time comes. Somehow, his soul recognises Voldemort’s. Somehow, it has been taught to.”
Rabastan’s breath came out in a hiss.
“Yet you’re one hundred percent certain he isn’t a Horcrux himself.”
Cassiopeia shook her head.
“Voldemort wouldn’t risk it. A Horcrux is nothing but a shell. Regulus is meant to be something else entirely. He doesn’t want to lose him as a vessel before the transfer is complete. He wants Regulus’ body, his soul intact—to have it split again. Over and over again.”
Rabastan stared at her, speechless, and for a heartbeat, there was only the faint hum of the wards and the sound of their breathing.
“He’s been grooming him for years, Rabastan. Through Walburga, through Orion. Even through Bellatrix.” She drew a shaking breath. “Piece by piece. Thought by thought. He’s been building the perfect vessel in plain sight.”
Rabastan’s hands trembled against the table.
“Salazar,” he whispered. “No wonder he Obliviated James. He’s trying to cut every tie that could hold him here.”
“Exactly,” Cassiopeia murmured. Her eyes were distant now, as if she could see the plan unfurling like a map of blood across the table. “The voices he hears aren’t born out of madness, Rabastan. They’re not visions. They’re instructions—the wretched echoes of Voldemort’s soul trying to isolate him from anyone who could save him. Trying to hollow him out before the final ritual.”
She let the silence stretch until it became unbearable, until even the wards seemed to hush. When she spoke again, it was barely a whisper.
“And I think it has already begun. Every time he dreams, every time the voices whisper, it isn’t just a Horcrux calling to him. It’s Voldemort practising. Testing the connection. Sharpening his claws. It’s not simply possession he wants — it’s compatibility.”
Rabastan’s face went ashen.
“Merlin’s bones…” he murmured. “Are we…can we do something?”
Cassiopeia looked down at her hands. They were trembling so badly she had to curl them into fists to keep them still.
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “But I do know that we need to find the pieces left and destroy them. Cut the connection.”
“While keeping Regulus away from Voldemort,” Rabastan added, echoing the unspoken fear that had sent them both pale.
“That’s the biggest problem,” Cassiopeia spoke, and for a moment her voice actually shuddered. “Because the only time Voldemort will ever be truly vulnerable, truly mortal, is the moment of the ritual. Which means that Regulus is the only one who can kill him.”
“No.” Rabastan spat the word out like a curse, the syllable snapping in the air. He pushed himself up from the chair so fast the leather protested. “You want me to believe that the only way to finish this is to let Regulus, who is already being eaten from the inside, be the instrument of Voldemort’s end? You want him to stand at the centre of the ritual as both offering and executioner?” His voice broke on the last word, as if even saying it aloud made the plan more monstrous.
Cassiopeia didn’t flinch.
“You have to understand that not Voldemort is the real issue here, but the pieces of his soul. And currently, in his meat suit, there is none left. If the Horcruxes are destroyed in time, the ritual might fail, and—” she began, choosing each phrase like a step across thin ice, “and the Dark Lord will have no tether to climb through. The moment of transfer will be compromised. He will be mortal—vulnerable.” Her fingers tapped the tabletop, quick and nervous. “That is the physics of it. The seam must be raw to allow a crossing. If it’s not, the crossing breaks.”
“But we don’t know that!” Rabastan slammed his palm to the wood, the sound echoing. “We don’t know that, and I will not gamble Reggie's life on that premise.”
“You think I want this for him?” Cassiopeia’s voice rose then, the restraint she’d threaded through the conversation snapping. The dam of something fierce and private, years of watching, of fear she had swallowed, cracked, and heat flushed her cheeks. “Do you think I want to ask him to do that?” Her throat tightened. “I have watched Regulus since he was a boy. I have seen him as something beyond repair and something heartbreakingly whole. I have seen him bite into steel for things he loved. Do you think I don’t know what I am asking?”
She let the question hang between them, then pushed further, the confession spilling in quieter, harder details that felt like both apology and indictment.
“When that bitch was a mother only in name, I took the parts of the job she would not. I gave Kreacher the rare potion when Walburga insisted it was discipline. I arranged a tutor who was kinder in secret than the household would permit, saying that it was the Dark Lord’s will. I intercepted letters that would have baited him. Why do you think I visited them so often after Sirius left?”
She did not cast herself as saint or saviour; the list was not one of heroics but of furtive mercies.
“I was never allowed to be his mother in the open. So, I mothered him in the dark. That is why I cannot stand by and watch the part of him that is still human be hollowed out.”
Rabastan’s hard expression softened for a second. Not with pity, exactly, but with the weary recognition of someone who’d watched the same child be handled badly by a dozen hands. He set his glass down as if it were a shield put aside.
“You did all that… and you still want to ask him to be the instrument of the thing that’s been eating him?” The question hung, an accusation wrapped in a plea.
“Yes. Because if Voldemort’s fragmented soul is still here, Regulus will never be free. They will still call for him. You destroy one Horcrux, and the next one will try to dig its claws even deeper. If there is even the faintest chance that by finding and destroying those pieces, we can sever that connection, then I will marshal every scrap of deceit, comfort, and cunning I have used to protect him. I will convert them into purpose. If having him near that monster makes the strike possible, then I will bear the horror of asking it of him.”
Rabastan stared at the table top as if the wood might hide the answer. The gravity of what she suggested settled between them like a physical weight. For a long moment, there was only their breathing and the quiet hum of wards working where they could.
Finally, he said, voice ragged, “And if we fail?”
Cassiopeia closed her eyes.
“Then we die trying,” she said. The words were simple; the consequence monstrous. “But at least we would die trying with intent, not as cowards who watched the boy they loved become a vessel because they were too scared to act.”
The room felt smaller every time James blinked. The walls seemed to lean inward, slow and deliberate, like they were breathing with him, crowding him closer to the centre. The air had a weight to it, dense and almost oily; each breath felt like pulling tar into his lungs. He sat hunched on the edge of the bed, elbows digging into his knees, and pressed his palms into his eyes as if he could rub the static out of his head.
But the moment he closed them, the fractures began again. They weren’t memories, not exactly, not dreams either, but something jagged between.
A cave. A pale, slender hand reaching out in the dark.
The flicker of a single candle on a nightstand half-collapsed, the wax running like tears.
A body lying next to him, close enough for the blanket to rise and fall with steady breaths.
Every time he reached for one memory, it dissolved between his fingers. He’d have the sensation of being right there, right inside it, only for it to vanish, leaving him with nothing but the echo. It was like waking up in someone else’s body, or reading about your own life in a book written in a language you once knew but had since forgotten.
James’ skin itched with the wrongness of it. Not a physical itch, but something deep in the nerves, like his body wasn’t fitting quite right around him anymore. Like his own hands and arms were a costume, a poor rendering of a person he might have been. He stared down at his knuckles, turning them over, waiting for them to look unfamiliar.
Since Cassiopeia, he hadn’t left his room; he couldn’t bring himself to. He sat there, trapped in his own skin, his stomach twisting with hunger, but his head too crowded to move. Sometimes he thought he heard Lily’s footsteps in the hallway. She would pause outside his door and stand there long enough for him to feel it, like a warmth pressed against the other side. Or maybe it was Mary. He couldn’t tell anymore; even their voices were blurring at the edges.
At one point, he heard Evan’s voice drift up from somewhere downstairs, low and tense, followed by the sharper tone of Barty answering. They’d been like ghosts these last days. In and out, in and out, never still, never staying more than a couple of hours. The sounds were muted, indistinct, like hearing a conversation through a wall underwater.
James pressed his back to the headboard and drew his knees up. He felt alienated, not just from the people in the house but from the house itself, from the creak of the floorboards, from the weight of his own body. Even his hunger felt like it belonged to someone else.
The fractured memories pressed harder the longer he sat. A snatch of laughter from someone whose face he couldn’t name, the smell of damp stone, the press of a hand over his cheek, the sound of his own voice whispering a name that burned when he tried to speak it aloud.
He raked a trembling hand through his hair and muttered under his breath.
“What the hell is wrong with me…” But the room, thick with its own shadows, offered no answer. It only seemed to shrink a little more, as though even the space didn’t want him there.
James didn’t remember standing up, only that one moment he was curled against the headboard and the next his feet were on the floor, carrying him toward the door. The wood was cold under his feet. The air outside his room smelled different — damp and metallic, like a cellar. He’d had enough of sitting there, stewing in other people’s ghosts.
The corridor stretched long and narrow, lined with portraits whose eyes followed him with a mixture of disdain and faint curiosity. He caught his own reflection in a gilt mirror, and what he saw startled him: pale face, sharp eyes, completely hollowed. For a moment, he thought he saw someone else standing there, someone whose mouth was already curling into a sneer, but when he blinked, it was just himself again.
He wandered past Sirius’ old room, past the library door with its faint thrum of wards. The house seemed to fold around him in slow loops; every corridor was both familiar and foreign. His fingers brushed the wallpaper, rough under his skin, and it felt like a lifeline anchoring him to the present moment.
The dining room was dim when he entered. The curtains were half-drawn, letting only a strip of grey light spill across the long table. It smelled faintly of cold tea and parchment. He pulled out a chair and sat, his posture stiff, hands clasped in front of him as if bracing himself against an invisible wind. He could feel the thrum of his pulse in his jaw, but his face stayed still, blank, carved into something colder than he felt.
The door creaked. Footsteps. A familiar silhouette moved into the room, and he froze when Regulus appeared in the threshold.
He stood in the doorway like a shadow caught in the act of fleeing. His eyes flicked once to James, then away, as though the sight burned. He didn’t move closer, only hovered at the edge of the threshold, one hand gripping the doorframe so tightly his knuckles went white. The line of his shoulders was tense but small, shrinking in on itself.
James’ gaze slid up to him, slow and deliberate. He didn’t speak. He just watched.
For a heartbeat, neither of them moved. The only sound was the faint ticking of the clock on the mantel.
Finally, James spoke, his voice stripped of warmth, low and precise like frost forming on glass.
“Don’t just stand there.”
Regulus flinched as if the words were a slap, but his chin lifted, brittle defiance sparking in his eyes.
“I didn’t think you’d be… here,” he said, the tone soft, uneven.
“Where else would I be?” James’ mouth twitched. Not a smile, not even a frown.
Regulus narrowed his eyes at him, a flicker of something unreadable there — calculation, maybe, or simple exhaustion. Before he could speak, the door swung open and Evan and Barty entered, voices low as though they’d been in mid-conversation. Behind them trailed Illyan, Rabastan, and Cassiopeia, the group filling the room with a weight that felt more like a tribunal than a gathering.
James froze, his body tensing like a drawn bowstring. His fingers gripped his chair until the wood creaked. Then he slowly pushed it behind him and rose to his feet.
“Sit down, James,” Evan said quietly, not quite pleading, not quite commanding. “We’re here to talk.”
James’ eyes swept across them one by one, the way a man counts knives on a table.
“Talk,” he echoed, flat.
Illyan made a sound under his breath, already turning toward the door.
“I’ll check the library,” he muttered, and from the threshold, Regulus took an involuntary step forward, and for a fraction of a second, his features shifted, like a mask slipping. James caught it. He swore he did. Something resembling dread flickered across Regulus’ face before it was gone again.
“You stay here,” Illyan said sharply, finger pointing at Regulus like a warning sign. “Selwyn, you come with me.”
Cassiopeia’s eyes flicked between the two young men, a quick, unreadable glance; then she followed Illyan, her dark skirts whispering across the floorboards. The door clicked shut behind them, and the room seemed to exhale.
“Well,” Barty said after a beat, attempting brightness and failing. “Why don’t we all sit down?” He gestured at the table, and with a small flick of his wand, a bottle of firewhiskey floated over, landing with a soft thud. Glasses followed. “Might as well have a drink while we sort through this mess.”
James didn’t move. His stare cut across the table to the bottle, then to Regulus.
“I don’t drink with Death Eaters.” The words came out mild but icy, and he didn’t bother to disguise the direction of his gaze.
The silence after was sharp enough to bite. Evan shifted slightly, rubbing a thumb over the rim of his glass.
“James—”
“Leave it,” Barty murmured, though his own fingers hesitated over the cork. “He’s got a right to—”
“Does he?” Rabastan’s voice slid in, quieter, a thread of deliberate calm. “We’ve all done things, Potter. Some of us are still trying to undo them.” He poured himself a small measure and lifted the glass in a dry half-toast. “This isn’t about who drank what and when. It’s about what’s next.”
James’ eyes flicked to him.
“And what’s next? Another round of orders? Another errand for the people who ‘own’ me?” His hand twitched at his side. “I’m done being the thing you drag around when it’s convenient.”
Regulus shifted, the muscle in his jaw jumping.
“No one asked you to be.”
“Didn’t you?” James’ voice sharpened, sudden and precise. “Since the day I was dragged into this house, I’ve been nothing but a prop. Pour the drinks. Keep the secrets. Stand where you tell me. Talk when you tell me to. That’s all I’ve been to you. An accessory. A pet.” He took a step closer, almost without realising.
Something dark flickered in Regulus then, like a candle blown the wrong way. He looked at James, and for a moment, his eyes were not cold but fever-bright.
“You think you’re the only one caged here?” His tone had gone ragged, too loud. “You think you’re the only one who wakes up choking on someone else’s nightmare? You have no idea what it costs—”
“Regulus,” Rabastan said quietly, but there was a warning in it.
James tilted his head, voice low and dangerous now.
“Then tell me. Tell me what it costs. Or is that another secret I don’t deserve to know?”
Regulus’ hands tightened on the back of the chair in front of him, white-knuckled. The Horcrux’ presence in the house pressed at the edges of his self-control, a hiss under his skin.
“Careful, Potter,” he said, and though the words were soft, the venom underneath was new. “You don’t know what you’re playing with.”
Barty’s hand drifted toward his wand, but didn’t draw it. Evan set his glass down slowly, eyes darting between the two like a man watching a fuse burn.
“Maybe I don’t,” James said, colder still, “but at least I’m not hiding behind masks while I do it.”
“Do you really think you’re better than me?” Regulus hissed, the words a knife-edge between fury and desperation. His fingers twitched like claws over the chair back. “Parading your righteousness, your Gryffindor nobility. Do you think it means anything in this house?”
James barked a laugh, sharp and humourless.
“At least I still have something left to parade. You sold yours a long time ago.”
Regulus flinched as though struck. Then, very slowly, he straightened, his expression twisting into something James didn’t recognise.
“You don’t know what I sold. You don’t know what you cost me.”
“What I cost you?” James sneered. “You bought me like a trinket at a market. Don’t pretend there’s some deeper meaning behind it.”
Barty’s chair scraped softly against the floor as he shifted.
“Alright, enough—”
“Shut up, Crouch,” Regulus snapped, and the sudden snarl in his voice silenced everyone. The Horcrux’ pulse pressed against his temples, a hiss coiling through his skull.
James rose from his seat.
“I’m not afraid of you, Black.”
“Then you’re a fool,” Regulus whispered, but the whisper was jagged, almost a growl. His hand twitched toward his wand.
“Try it,” James said. His face was pale, but his eyes were steel. “Go on. Show them what you really are.”
Rabastan moved, finally, his voice low but hard.
“Evan,” he said without taking his eyes off the two men. “Go to Cassiopeia. Tell her to hurry.”
Evan rose, hesitant.
“But—”
“Now.” Rabastan didn’t raise his voice, but it cut like a blade. Evan slipped out, glancing back once before disappearing into the corridor.
James’ words landed like blows.
“You’ve been playing warlord in this house, surrounding yourself with Death Eaters, acting like you’re above everyone, but in reality, you’re nothing but scum.”
Regulus’ face twisted.
“Scum?” The word broke in his mouth. “You think I wanted you here? You think—” His voice cracked, then hardened again, darker, harsher. “You’re nothing but a liability. A mistake I should’ve corrected long ago.”
Barty’s wand hand twitched.
“Regulus,” he murmured warningly.
James actually smiled then, but it was a cold, dead thing.
“There it is. Finally telling the truth. Took you long enough.”
The hiss in Regulus’ head rose to a roar—killkillkillkill—and his wand was suddenly in his hand without remembering drawing it.
“Don’t push me, Potter,” he said, voice low, tremoring with something not entirely his own. “I am not who you think I am.”
James laughed — a low, ugly sound that didn’t even reach his eyes. He leaned forward, just enough for the candlelight to catch the sharp angles of his face, but in the same breath, something slipped sideways inside him.
For a heartbeat, he wasn’t in this dining room at all. He was somewhere dimmer, warmer — the smell of melting wax, a hand that was pulling his hair. A voice whispering his name into his ear, not “Potter” but James. Like a plea.
It was gone before he could hold it.
Regulus hissed softly through his teeth and jerked his sleeve up, looking at the Mark pulsing under his skin.
Come. Come now.
He looked at Rabastan and Barty, but they didn’t move, didn’t reach for their arms. Only he had been summoned. He slid his wand back into his pocket with a deliberate motion, straightening his back, his face unreadable. Then he turned on his heel and began to walk to the doors without saying a word.
James’ laugh followed him, echoing through the room, hollow and sinister.
“Seems like your darling Lord called his favourite dog,” he drawled. “Run along, pup. The leash is tugging at your neck.”
Regulus stopped dead. His shoulders stiffened, and then, slowly, oh so slowly, he turned his head.
James braced for the explosion: the flash of teeth, the promise of a slow and painful death. But what he saw was something far more disarming. A flicker of something like hurt, like a crack in the mask, gone almost before it appeared.
And that was what undid him. The hollow he carried, the constant numbness, opened like a pit in his chest. He couldn’t name it. Couldn’t even decide if it was grief or recognition. All he knew was that he had seen that look before, somewhere, in one of those phantom memories he couldn’t hold on to.
He wanted to spit another insult, to harden the edges again, but the words tangled in his throat. The room swam with déjà vu; Regulus’ face blurred with another image he couldn’t reach.
Voldemort sat at the head of the long table like a figure carved out of bone, his robe pooling like spilled ink on the stone floor. His chest rose and fell raggedly; every breath sounded like it had to be dragged up from a pit rather than a body. The faint rasp of it echoed in the chamber, louder to Regulus’ ears than the crackle of the torches. For the first time in years, the Dark Lord did not seem untouchable. He seemed fraying.
Regulus stood at a calculated distance, the position drilled into him since boyhood — eyes lowered just enough to feign deference, posture loose enough to seem harmless. But inside, a dark, private thrill uncoiled in him. The air around Voldemort felt thinner, almost brittle, and Regulus thought of the Horcruxes. How each destruction had been like striking a bell in some unseen place.
All his life, Voldemort had been a monolith. The one his mother whispered about with awe, the one his cousins adored or feared, but now he looked like something half-spilled out of its shell.
Regulus kept his expression neutral, but inside his thoughts spiralled.
Is this what it’s like when a god dies?
Yet, even sitting in front of the person who took everything from him, he felt lighter. He had thought the weight he carried was all Voldemort. It wasn’t.
It was the Grimmauld Place and its ghost. Its cursed history pressed into the wallpaper, its expectations wound into the stair rails. Now, standing here in a different house, in a different part of England, looking at the man who owned his past, present, and future, Regulus realised he could tell the difference.
It was subtle, but it was there: his limbs felt less heavy, his breath less shallow, and the voices were finally silenced. As if some binding had been quietly cut. He had spent so long convincing himself that he was only moving to survive, to keep the plan intact, but here he was, looking at the architect of his nightmares struggling to breathe, and he felt almost weightless.
Voldemort lifted his head at last, his eyes like coals in his skull, and for a heartbeat, Regulus thought he saw not rage but panic flash there. He schooled his face into its usual composure, bowing slightly. But inside, he thought:
You’re bleeding out, my Lord. Piece by piece.
“Regulus,” Voldemort whispered, his voice like parchment tearing. “Have a seat.” He extended a bony hand that looked more claw than limb now, the nails blackened at the tips.
Regulus raised his head just enough to acknowledge the command. He walked into the room with measured steps, every movement a study in deference without subservience. A servant darted forward to pull the heavy chair out for him and then scurried back, bringing a silver tray with a glass and a carafe of wine. Regulus let the servant pour, then dismissed him with a flick of his fingers.
“I have called you,” Voldemort said, “to discuss the terms of your next mission. You will go to Cornwall with Bellatrix and Fenrir and make sure that the villages are returned to us. There have been sightings of resistance members gathering there, and as you already know, I do not like to have rats in my cellars.”
“My Lord.” Regulus bowed his head again, at a perfect angle. “Of course. Shall I bring Evan and Barty with me?”
“No.” Voldemort’s voice thinned to a hiss. “This is only for you, and you only. I have sensed some… reluctance in your relationship with your cousin.”
Regulus let the silence stretch a heartbeat too long before answering, then lowered his lashes.
“Different visions, my Lord. Nothing more. My darling Bella has always been… spirited. I simply do not share her passion for irrational actions.”
“I see,” Voldemort whispered. His red eyes flickered. “I understand that she visited you a couple of days ago.”
Regulus’ jaw clenched for a fraction of a second. He let it show, then smoothed it away like a man wiping dust from a table.
“Unannounced,” he said lightly. “Another thing she and I do not share. Pure-blood etiquette seems… inconvenient to her of late.”
Voldemort hummed, the sound raking against Regulus’ skull like talons.
“She told me that you have grown bold.”
Regulus set his glass down deliberately, as though it weighed something.
“Cunning, my Lord. Boldness without it would be stupidity.”
Voldemort tilted his head, an imitation of curiosity.
“And you would call her bold?”
“I would call her…” Regulus paused, letting the pause itself become a comment. “…devoted. Devotion burns bright, my Lord, but bright fires consume their fuel quickly. Sometimes piety looks like loyalty when it is simply… fever.”
“Fever?” Voldemort’s voice had gone silkier.
“She asks questions that are not hers to ask. She repeats rumours as if they were decrees. She accuses shadows of treachery before they even move.” Regulus continued softly. “I worry for her, my Lord. It is not my place to question, but if she is to command men in Cornwall, perhaps she should be… steadied. The men grow restless under caprice; fear must be shaped, not scattered.”
The Dark Lord’s eyes glimmered faintly at that. He steepled his fingers.
“And you believe you could steady her?”
Regulus lowered his lashes, just shy of a bow.
“I believe,” he said, his voice smooth as parchment sliding over stone, “I can do whatever my Lord requires of me. Cornwall is not a raid; it is a game of chess. We do not need a knight charging at ghosts; we need a rook to hold the line, a player who sees the whole field, who can decide which piece is moved and which sacrificed without shouting at shadows.”
He let the words breathe. He did not look up immediately; when he finally did, his gaze was level, the faintest glint of steel under velvet. “Passion, my Lord, is a weapon. But even the sharpest blade must have a sheath, or it cuts the hand that wields it.”
Regulus shifted the glass in his fingers, watching the wine catch the light like dark blood.
“Power alone wins no wars. Fear alone holds no kingdom. Men do not follow power or fear; they follow the story of passion. They bend because they believe they must bend. They kill because they believe the killing is yours to order. Take away that belief, and even the strongest sorcery turns to smoke.”
He raised his eyes to Voldemort’s at last.
“Your enemies whisper about armies, relics, curses. They are wrong. It is belief that makes a throne. Belief in the inevitability of the hand that sits upon it. In Cornwall, your enemies do not see your Mark; they see shadows, rumours, a cousin screaming at ghosts. That is not passion. Nor power. That is waste.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. Not insolent, but thoughtful.
“Give me the board, my Lord. Let me place the pieces. A whisper in the right ear is worth ten masks at the wrong door. A steady hand behind the curtain can do what a dozen wands in daylight cannot.”
He leaned back slightly, still holding Voldemort’s gaze. “A king may wear a crown, a general may hold a wand, but passion, my Lord…” his voice dropped, velvet turned to a blade’s edge “…passion lives only where others agree it lives. Move that belief, and you move the world.”
The chamber seemed to contract around them, torches hissing.
“The raid is yours, Regulus,” he murmured at last, each word falling like a drop of ink into water, spreading slowly and darkly. “Make Cornwall remember who commands its nights.”
Notes:
Before you come after me with pitchforks and torches and accuse me of witchcraft, in my world, Voldy changes his skin like a snake and basically jumps from one host to another when the biological clock chimes (meaning someone discovered his dirty little secret and destroys the Horcruxes). There is no way in Hell that Tom Dishy Riddle turned into THAT just because. Thank you for embracing my canon event
Chapter 47: Dear diary,
Summary:
You have no idea how much fun I had imagining the whole vessel and soul splintering lore
Also, more implied Moonwater content for you because I love them
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Where is Regulus?” Sirius burst into the room, the dining doors slamming back against the wall with a thunderous crack. His eyes were wild, his hair dishevelled from wind and Apparition. Remus was right behind him, one hand already outstretched to grab the back of Sirius’ coat in case he lunged. Which, given the two brothers’ history, was not only possible but likely. Sirius had always believed the best way to fix something was to break it first — preferably by shouting at it until it surrendered.
“Sirius,” Lily rose from her seat so quickly her chair scraped harshly against the floorboards. She moved toward him, palms raised. “Now is not the time.”
“It’s not the—are you all mad?” Sirius’ voice cracked on the word, more feral than angry. “Is he still in the library? Where is James? Are they together? Did he manage to get Reggie out?”
Lily froze mid-step, her eyes snapping to Rabastan. Her hands dropped to her sides.
“It didn’t cross your mind to tell him?” she hissed.
“I didn’t have the time, Lily,” Rabastan exhaled sharply, his fingers raking through his hair. “The moment I got a hold of Illyan, we Apparated here.”
“Tell me what?” Sirius blinked hard, his voice pitched somewhere between demand and dread. He scanned the room, catching Mary and Marlene’s eyes, or rather, failing to. They both stared at the table, at their cups, at anything but him. Even Barty looked away, muttering something under his breath.
“Lily, what the fuck happened?”
Remus stepped forward and planted himself just slightly between Sirius and the room, his presence a soft barrier. Whether he was shielding Sirius from them or them from Sirius, no one could tell.
“I—” Lily started, but her voice faltered.
“Padfoot?”
The voice came from behind, and Sirius spun on his heel so quickly he almost tripped.
“Godric, save me, it’s really you!” James grinned, or what passed for a grin, and before Sirius could react, James’ arms were around him, pulling him into a hug that felt wrong, like someone wearing an old coat that didn’t quite fit anymore.
“J—James?” Sirius whispered, stiff as stone, but did not hug him back.
“What are you doing here?” James stepped back, pushing him just enough to see his face, and Sirius’ heart lurched. The man in front of him looked like James, but the eyes — the eyes were wrong. Hollow. Foggy.
James’ gaze flicked over Sirius’ shoulder, toward the room, and darkened. His lips curled into a snarl at Rabastan.
“How did you get here?”
“I—” Sirius faltered, glancing at Remus, whose face was pale, horror etched so deeply it made his features older. “I Apparated here, I—"
“You Apparated?” James asked incredulous. “Why would you Apparate here?”
“What— James are you—”
“Sirius,” Lily’s voice cut through the room. “Can I have a word with you?”
Sirius’ head snapped at Lily, and James’ fingers tightened their hold.
“Why?” James’ voice was suddenly cold and knife-edged. “Why do you need him, Lily?”
Lily stammered, visibly shaken by the shift in his tone, and Remus stepped in with a low, steady voice.
“My new potion,” he lied smoothly. “Lily was kind enough to adjust the dosage and wants to make sure that Sirius is also aware in case I need his assistance. Shall we?” he nodded towards the doors, but James didn’t let go of Sirius.
“Sirius,” he whispered darkly, his grip tightening. His eyes, hollow as they were, seemed to glimmer with something brittle and sharp. “You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”
Sirius blinked, his throat dry, his mind flickering with a hundred images of James — laughing, reckless, loyal — and this pale, echoing version standing before him now.
“Of course, Prongs,” he managed, a breathy laugh that never touched his eyes. “You’re my best mate. Of course, I would tell you.”
James tilted his head, studying him, and for a heartbeat, Sirius thought he saw confusion flicker across his friend’s face. James’ grip loosened, then tightened again as though he wasn’t sure which instinct to obey.
“Good,” James said softly, but it was the softness of ice, not of warmth. “Good. Because I’m tired of people lying to me.”
The moment Lily stepped into the kitchen, she shut the door with a flick of her wrist and, without even looking back, cast a silencing charm over the walls. Sirius, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, straightened at once, his eyes narrowing as though he could see the words forming in her mouth before she spoke them.
“Alright,” he began, his voice a low growl, “before I completely lose my mind, can you—”
“Regulus obliviated James.”
Lily didn’t give him the chance to finish. The words dropped like a knife on stone, blunt and final.
Sirius flinched as if struck. His back hit the counter, and his fingers groped blindly for purchase on the edge of it, gripping the wood so tightly his knuckles blanched.
“W—what?” His voice cracked on the single syllable, and for a moment there was no sound in the room but his ragged breathing.
Remus moved quickly, stepping forward to catch Sirius’ wrist before he could do something reckless. He didn’t squeeze, only anchored, the silent language of someone used to keeping Sirius from breaking himself apart.
“I don’t know more. I mean, what I know is that James now hates Regulus. He believes he’s been nothing but his servant. That’s why he’s… like this. The confusion you’ve been seeing, our… our strange calm around him—”
“Why?” The word cut across Lily’s explanation like a blade. It didn’t even come from Sirius, but from Remus himself. His tone was harsh, almost unrecognizable.
Lily’s head snapped toward him, startled. The fury etched into Remus’ face was cold, controlled, a rare and dangerous thing.
“Remus—”
“What was the reason, Lily?” His voice rose slightly, but it wasn’t a shout; it was sharper than that.
“He…” she faltered, the strength of his gaze pinning her. “Something happened between them. Evan told me that Reggie attacked James while he was asleep. He’s been— well, Reggie has been in a bad place for almost a week. The Horcrux—”
“Why didn’t anyone inform us?” Remus snapped again, his hand still on Sirius’ arm. “Why didn’t anyone tell us what was really happening here?”
“Because we thought that he was just tired. But James... he doesn’t need to know, Remus!” Lily’s voice broke for the first time. “Because otherwise his mind will be gone for good! He remembers things already. Fragments. He just needs to piece them together at his own pace.”
Sirius made a sound then, a low, raw noise that wasn’t quite a word. When he finally spoke, it was a whisper, but it landed heavier than any shout.
“What about my brother?”
The question hung in the air. And it wasn’t just the words — it was the way he said it. There was no venom in it, none of the spitting rage everyone had learned to brace for. No threats, no curses. Just a question, quiet and hollow. And that absence was worse. This wasn’t the Sirius who threw fists before he thought, who could tear a room apart without blinking.
This was something colder.
This was Sirius realising he might be losing his brother for the second time.
“There’s something wrong with him,” Lily admitted, her voice breaking around the edges. “At first, I thought it was the Polyjuice, but things… they got out of control. I wrote to Cassiopeia the moment Evan told me what happened.”
Sirius let out a shaky breath, his grip on the counter loosening.
“Something wrong,” he repeated, his tone almost conversational, but his eyes were far away, fixed on nothing. He gave a small, humourless laugh that died halfway out of his throat.
“There’s always something wrong with him, isn’t there? Always another excuse. Another curse. Another reason why my brother isn’t my brother anymore.”
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Remus murmured, but Sirius only shook his head.
“Don’t do what? Should I ignore it, Moony?” His voice rose a little now, tremoring at the edges, a man trying to stand upright on a breaking floor. “Should I ignore that you’ve all been keeping this from us? That he’s been keeping this from me? That James—” He stopped, biting down hard on his lip. His hands were trembling now. “Merlin, James…”
“This is what Cassiopeia and Illyan are doing upstairs? Searching for another Horcrux?” Remus whispered, but the anger was still there, still seeping through the surface.
It wasn’t anger at what Regulus had done that burned in Remus’ chest; it was anger at why. At the pattern, at the inevitability of it. The way Regulus had folded inward again, chosen silence over confession, isolation over reaching for a hand. It was a familiar tragedy, one Remus had seen before, the kind you can’t stop even as it unfolds in slow motion.
He remembered Hogsmeade vividly. How long had it taken Regulus to even walk through the threshold without looking over his shoulder.
How stiff he’d been when Remus tried to make him tea, as though kindness itself was a trick. Weeks had passed before Regulus would sit in the kitchen with him rather than hover in the hallway; longer still before he spoke without being spoken to. And even then, his words came in fragments, as if he was handing Remus splinters of himself one at a time, afraid of bleeding out.
Remus had been patient. He’d told himself patience was the only way to reach someone like Regulus. Someone raised in a house where love had been a weapon and loyalty a currency. And slowly, so slowly it had almost been imperceptible, Regulus had changed. He had begun to lower his guard, if only by degrees. He had begun to believe, or at least to test, the idea that Remus was not another trap.
And when the inevitable happened between him and James, the change had been stronger, almost startling. Remus had seen an entirely different version of Regulus in those moments — a version whose eyes held light instead of calculation, whose mouth softened in ways it never did with anyone else. A version that reminded Remus of how young they still were, how much of a boy there was still left in him. That version had given Remus hope. That version had said, without words, he’ll be fine. He’ll find a way out of the shadow of that house, of that name. He’ll survive this.
Now, watching the aftermath, watching Regulus vanish into the same pit of despair he had spent years dragging himself out of, Remus felt that hope splinter.
The anger rose from the hollow left behind.
He had always cared.
Even when it would have been easier not to.
Even when it meant being the one left standing at the edge of Regulus’ self-imposed exile.
And now, seeing him like this, seeing him destroy the one bond that had given him light, Remus’ anger was grief in disguise.
A grief for the boy who had, for a flicker of time, let himself believe the door was open, and who had now, once again, shut it from the inside.
Illyan moved slowly along the shelves, long fingers trailing just shy of the spines, his head tilting in that peculiar way he had when he was cataloguing something in his mind. The library was smaller than most Black collections but arranged with a kind of manic precision: rows of books like soldiers, all at exact intervals, colours and sizes balanced as though the shelves themselves had been curated for display rather than reading.
“This one doesn’t scream your usual Black library,” he murmured at last, almost amused. He leaned forward, hooked a finger around the spine of a heavy green volume, and drew it out with exaggerated care. “Importance of the Highland Flora and Their Benefits,” he read aloud in a mockingly reverent tone. “Doesn’t exactly shout ‘blood purity,’ does it? Where’s all the ‘How to Curse the Unworthy’ and ‘The Gentle Art of Maledictions’?”
Cassiopeia glanced up from the parchment she was unfolding on the desk, her eyes sharp even under the dim glow of the sconces.
“This was Alphard’s library,” she said simply, the weight of the name making Illyan look back over his shoulder.
“Ah.” His mouth curved. “The so-called mudblood lover.”
“Muldoon,” Cassiopeia snapped, her tone crisp but not quite unkind, like a schoolteacher correcting a student who should know better.
“What?” He raised his hands in mock surrender, but the corner of his mouth twitched. “Their words, not mine. I liked the bloke. Big sap, sure, but at least he had the backbone to be different. You know what I don’t remember, though?” He slid the book back into its slot with a soft thunk. “How he died.”
Cassiopeia’s eyes returned to the parchment, but her voice went dark.
“Voldemort killed him.”
Illyan’s head snapped up, his brows drawing together.
“What?”
“Years ago,” she said. “When he gave Bellatrix the Mark, I believe. Rumour has it that Alphard refused to take it, and Voldemort suspected he was a sympathiser of Dumbledore. I wasn’t in the room when it happened. Neither was Rabastan.”
Illyan turned fully now, leaning one shoulder against the shelf, the book forgotten.
“Shit,” he huffed. “And to tuck a part of his soul into the library of a sympathiser? He deserves credit for his style. Nobody with a sane mind would ever think to search here.”
Cassiopeia crossed to another rack, her fingers brushing the titles, her expression unreadable.
“Is it here, though?” she murmured. “Regulus told me this is the place that calls to him. Lily and the boys confirmed he’s been sleepwalking here.”
Illyan closed his eyes briefly, nostrils flaring as though scent might tell him what his eyes could not.
“There’s something,” he said finally, his voice dropping lower. “Foul. Like a stench. Something dead but not decaying.”
Cassiopeia gave a faint, humourless smile at that.
“Trust you to sniff out rot where no one else can.”
He quirked an eyebrow.
“Comes with being old and mad, I suppose. You spend enough time with cursed things, you start to smell them before you see them.” He straightened, dusting his hands on his coat. “Still—Alphard. Merlin. If he knew what was hidden in here…”
“Perhaps he did,” Cassiopeia said softly.
Illyan paused mid-movement, looking at her sidelong.
“And you say I’m the paranoid one.”
“That’s not paranoia,” she replied, sliding a slim grey volume from the shelf and peering at its cracked spine. “That’s bloodline.”
They kept searching, taking out books one by one, shuffling through their pages.
“I need you to tell me something, Illyan.” Cassiopeia eventually said, dusting her palms against her skirts.
His head tilted warily.
“This isn’t going to be about tea or biscuits, is it?”
She ignored the attempt at levity.
“Obliviation,” she said, each syllable clipped. “How much do you know about it?”
He exhaled slowly, eyes flicking from her to the books and back again.
“Enough.”
“Enough to reverse it?”
The pause he gave her was long and heavy.
“Cass,” he said finally, “mind magic isn’t like undoing a hex. It isn’t even like breaking a curse. You’re not just removing a splinter; you’re digging around inside the brain with a knife. You can do more harm than good.”
She stepped closer, voice hardening.
“I didn’t ask if it was safe. I asked if it was possible.”
Illyan stared at her.
“There are some Legilimency techniques,” he admitted at last. “Invasive. Violent, if you’re not careful. You might bring back what was taken, but you might shatter everything else around it. Sometimes memories are cut out for a reason, Cassiopeia. Putting them back…” He shook his head. “It’s like pouring molten metal into cracked glass. It doesn’t make the glass whole; it explodes.”
Cassiopeia’s hands tightened at her sides. She opened her mouth to say something, but Illyan stood still, his head cocked, and turned slowly, like a compass needle finding north. His wand was already out, tip glowing faintly, casting long blue shadows across the polished floorboards.
“Here,” he murmured. “Somewhere here. It’s faint, but it’s here.”
Cassiopeia bent, running her hand along the base of one of the shelves. The books here were older, some warped with age, others sealed with melted wax and spells that shimmered faintly when her fingers hovered too close. She felt it then: a little tremor beneath her palm.
“Help me move this,” she whispered, and together they dragged the bottom shelf free of its recess. Dust plumed up in a cloud that made Illyan cough. Beneath, the floorboards gleamed darker, more worn than the others, as though feet had walked here more often than anywhere else.
Illyan crouched, flicking his wand in slow arcs.
“Protections,” he muttered. “Old ones. Layered.” He glanced at her. “This isn’t a casual hiding place. Whatever’s down there… It’s meant to be forgotten.”
Cassiopeia’s mouth tightened.
“Not forgotten. Buried.”
A flick of her wand stripped the first ward. A second flick stripped the next. The third resisted, humming like a plucked string under her skin. She hissed a curse under her breath.
Illyan pressed his palm to the board, closed his eyes, and whispered something that sounded like a prayer in a language she didn’t know. The hum faded.
“That’s all I can do without waking it,” he said. “The rest… we pry.”
Together, they eased their fingers into the seam of the board. It came up with a reluctant groan, wood splintering at the edges. Beneath was a shallow cavity lined with something like black silk. And lying on that silk was a book.
Small, plain, the leather scorched at the corners, but it thrummed with a life of its own, an almost inaudible pulse that matched the rhythm of their hearts. Cassiopeia’s hand stopped inches above it.
“Argo’s soggy beard,” Illyan breathed. “It’s been sitting here all this time…”
“Regulus was right,” she whispered, her throat bopping. “All those nights he woke up in a sweat… all those sleepwalks.” She pulled her hand back. “How do we destroy it?”
“Fiendfyre.” Illyan didn’t take his eyes off the notebook. His wand was already half-raised, but his fingers were white-knuckled on the handle.
“Fiend—” Cassiopeia’s head snapped toward him. “—in here?”
Illyan frowned, then finally looked at her, incredulity cutting through his usual calm.
“Cassiopeia, I’ve spent half my life controlling what’s inside me. I’ve learned to master transformations that should have torn me apart limb from limb.” His mouth curled. Not a smile but something sharp. “Do you really think a small campfire would be an issue for me?”
“Fiendfyre is not a campfire.”
“No,” he said simply, “it isn’t.”
He crouched down again, slower this time, as if approaching a wild animal. The diary seemed to pulse once under his gaze, faint but unmistakable—a flicker of power. Illyan’s wand hand trembled for a fraction of a second before steadying.
“Stay back,” he murmured.
“Illyan—”
“Selwyn,” his voice was soft but implacable. “Stay. Back.”
She took two reluctant steps away, wand at the ready anyway.
Illyan reached out with his free hand, not touching the diary but letting his palm hover a hair’s breadth above it. The skin at his fingertips blanched, as though the very proximity of the Horcrux leached warmth from him. He hissed between his teeth.
“It’s like ice and fire at the same time,” he muttered. “Old, angry magic. Like it wants to crawl inside you and stay there.”
“Illyan,” she said again, her voice low, “don’t—”
He grabbed it.
The diary let out a sound—no word, no cry, but a kind of breathless, wet hiss that seemed to echo from the walls rather than from the thing itself. Illyan grunted, muscles standing out in his forearm as he clutched it tight.
“It’s trying—” he ground out through clenched teeth, “—to talk.”
Cassiopeia’s wand hand twitched.
“Drop it!”
“Too late.”
He flung it to the middle of the room with a jerk of his wrist, and before it had even hit the floorboards, his wand was raised.
“Pestis Incendium!” he barked, and the spark that flew from his wand was no ordinary flame. It landed on the diary like a striking serpent and blossomed instantly into a roiling, unnatural fire, green-gold and black at its edges, twisting in on itself like a living thing.
The diary screamed. This time it was a sound, high and thin, like nails dragged over stone and metal tearing.
Illyan advanced, wand still level, lips moving too quickly for Cassiopeia to catch. The Fiendfyre obeyed, coiling higher, shaping itself into monstrous forms, all of them lunging at the diary and then curling back on themselves in a whirl of consuming heat. The diary writhed on the floor like a wounded animal, its cover bubbling, black smoke pouring from the seams as though it was bleeding shadows instead of ink. The pages curled inward, then snapped outward, runes glowing briefly before being swallowed by flame.
Illyan’s eyes were fixed on it, his expression set and terrible. His wand moved in deliberate arcs, controlling the fire as if it were a beast on a leash. Sweat poured down his temples, and his knuckles were bone-white.
“It’s fighting,” he growled. “Merlin, it’s fighting—”
The fire twisted into the shape of a wolf for a heartbeat before collapsing inward with a deafening crack. Something like a howl echoed around the room that made Cassiopeia clap her hands over her ears.
Then, suddenly, it was over.
The Fiendfyre collapsed into embers, then disappeared completely. The diary lay at the centre of a blackened scorch mark, its cover cracked, its pages turned to brittle grey flakes. A single wisp of smoke curled upward and vanished.
Illyan was panting, shoulders heaving as though he’d run miles. He lowered his wand slowly, eyes still fixed on the remains.
“Well,” he rasped. “One less piece of him.”
Cassiopeia lowered her hands and stepped forward, crouched beside the scorched patch, and touched the ash. Cold already. No magic left.
Illyan slid down the wall, sitting heavily on the floor, his wand hanging from his fingers.
“Cassiopeia,” he said at last, the word dragging from his throat as though it weighed more than the wand in his hand. “There is something you’re not telling me.”
She didn’t answer immediately. She was still crouched near the blackened scorch-mark where the diary had been, her gloved fingers tracing the edges of the ash. Her eyes were dark, unreadable, like the polished surface of a stone that refused to show what lay beneath.
“Why do you say that?” she murmured without looking up.
Illyan stared at the blackened floor.
“Because,” he said quietly. “The thing inside that diary was screaming Regulus' name.”
Cassiopeia’s head lifted slightly, the smallest flicker of something crossing her face. Not surprise, but resignation. As though she’d been waiting for someone to pull the curtain back.
“How much do you know?” she asked softly.
Illyan’s eyes narrowed.
“Enough to recognise a pattern when I see it. The locket called to him, the ring called to him—” He broke off, a tremor in his jaw. “And that diary knew him. Like they’re not just pieces of a soul, but pieces of a map. And he’s the bloody compass.”
Cassiopeia finally stood, dusting ash from her gloves with deliberate, meticulous movements.
“You’re not wrong,” she said after a long silence. “But you’re not entirely right either.”
Illyan pushed himself to his feet, bracing against the wall, his voice suddenly hard.
“Then why don’t you tell me what is really happening?”
She met his gaze. Her eyes were a mirror of her namesake—dark, endless, patterned with stars no one could read.
“Do you remember,” she began slowly, “the rites of succession? Not the sanitised versions printed in family chronicles, but the real ones. The rites whispered in cellars, carved into stone, and never spoken aloud outside the walls of the manor houses?”
Illyan’s expression flickered.
“I’ve read enough to know they weren’t just about bloodlines.”
“They were about vessels,” Cassiopeia said quietly. “Hosts. Carriers for power too great to be held in one body.” She moved closer to him, her voice lowering. “Voldemort didn’t invent the idea of splitting himself, Illyan. Herpo the Foul tried before him. Voldemort just...perfected it. He twisted an old ritual, one meant to transfer magic, into a way of stealing another soul and splintering it.”
Illyan’s mouth went dry. He swallowed and glanced down at the wand still loose in his hand.
“You’re telling me—”
“Voldemort chose Regulus,” she said, and the air seemed to thicken with the weight of the words. “He feels the fragments because he recognises them. Because Voldemort planted this recognition in his blood years ago. Each time a Horcrux is destroyed, Voldemort weakens, but the others become stronger. They pull at him, they call to him, like a tide rising under his feet, urging the ritual to start.”
Illyan stared at her, the colour draining from his face.
“How many are left?” He glanced almost involuntarily at the blackened patch where the diary had been. “Is this the last? Is this all of it?”
“I don’t know.” Cassiopeia’s voice was very low now, almost a whisper. “There might be one, there might be two, or Merlin knows, there could be six more fragments hidden in places even he can’t name. Regulus can dream about them only if they’re near him. It’s proximity that wakes them up, not distance.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Only Rabastan.”
Illyan exhaled hard, dragging a hand down his face.
“We should—”
“No.” She snapped, quick and dangerous, like a whip crack. “We will not tell Regulus. He’s been through enough already. If he finds out that he’s supposed to become—” She stopped herself, shook her head sharply. “No. This is out of discussion.”
Illyan’s jaw tightened.
“Then tell Lupin.”
“What?” The single word was cold, disbelieving.
“Trust me on this one, Cass. Tell Lupin. He’s smart, too smart for his own good sometimes. He has instincts like no one else, and that man is a wall of loyalty that doesn’t crack. Potter is out of the question, Barty and Evan are under Voldemort’s shadow, whether they like to acknowledge it or not, Sirius is too volatile, and the girls will be with the Order soon. Lupin will stay. He’ll keep his eyes open. He already does.”
“You’re saying this just because you’re—” she began, but he cut her off.
“My lycanthropy doesn’t matter.” His voice was low, but there was a growl beneath it now, something old and bitter. “Don’t pull that shit with me. Remus can keep both Potter and Sirius under control if necessary. He’s done it before. He’s the only one in this mess who doesn’t take his temper out on the people he loves.”
Cassiopeia looked at him for a long moment, her mouth a tight line.
“You think he’ll protect Regulus even after what he’s done to James?”
Illyan’s expression softened just a fraction, though his eyes were still sharp.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “He’s been doing it for years, even when no one asked him to. That’s the point. He’ll watch. He’ll wait. He won’t break.”
Notes:
As you’ve probably noticed, I’m way off the reservation, so of course I also changed the number of Horcruxes. Soo… besides the one hidden in Grimmauld Place, there’s one more. Which one? That’s a secret I’ll never tell 🤐
PS: Alphard will play a very important role in this fanfic
Chapter Text
Regulus had always thought there was something almost otherworldly about late summer in Cornwall. A kind of suspended moment between seasons when the sea’s edge turned from grey to silver, when the dunes softened under the weight of the wind, and the air itself felt both sharp and languid at once. Even now, standing on the bluff above the village, he could smell the salt, the wet iron tang of seaweed and rock, the faint sweetness of gorse drifting from the cliffs. It was a landscape that seemed carved out of memory rather than built of earth.
Not that he had ever truly been allowed to know it. His whole life, Cornwall had been a stolen indulgence. An hour here, maybe two, snatched from a suffocating summer at Grimmauld Place.
He would Apparate under the cover of night, the echo of the Black family’s endless lectures still ringing in his ears, and slip through the narrow paths like a ghost until he reached the dunes. Here he would sit, boots half-buried in the sand, and watch the sky stretch like a dark sail over the water. No owls, no portraits, no Walburga or Orion. Just the hiss of the tide.
It was the only place where his name did not weigh so heavily.
Now, staring down at the same beach, he felt a pressure building inside his chest as if something was clawing at him from within. The salt wind was still here, the dunes still shifting in soft waves, but it all felt thinner, brittle, like a photograph left too long in the sun. He could not tell whether the change was in the land or in himself.
The thought of having to destroy the very place that had once given him an ounce of peace gnawed at him like a slow hunger. This was supposed to be neutral ground, a sanctuary he had carved out of his own life by sheer will. And yet here he was, planning to turn it into a battlefield.
His Mark burned faintly under his sleeve, but what really unsettled him was the other sensation — the faint, treacherous pull of nostalgia. Every gust of wind carried a ghost of the boy who had once sat here believing, for a single hour, that the world was bigger than Grimmauld, bigger than blood, bigger than the path Walburga had carved for him.
That boy had believed he might escape.
Regulus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The air tasted the same, but it no longer gave him solace. It was as if the land itself had been waiting for him all these years, and now it knew what he carried.
Now it was complicit.
He thought of the villagers below — the cottages with their slate roofs, the little fishing boats tethered to the harbour, the children playing on the strand unaware that Death Eaters and a werewolf would be moving among them after dusk.
His orders were simple.
His orders were ruin.
The sea crashed against the rocks below with a sound like breaking glass.
He wrapped his cloak tighter around his shoulders.
“This was supposed to be mine,” he muttered under his breath, though whether he meant the view, the memory, or the brief peace he’d once felt here, he could not tell.
The crack of Apparition tore through the sea air, and three figures materialised on the edge of the dunes, their robes snapping in the salt wind like banners.
Bellatrix came first, of course. She always came first. Her wild black hair was blown back from her sharp face, eyes glittering feverishly. Even here, where the cliffs dwarfed them and the sea roared like an old god, she moved as though the ground was nothing more than her stage.
Fenrir Greyback loomed just behind her, shoulders hunched and eyes yellow under the fringe of his matted hair.
Lucius was nothing more than a pale shadow beside them, his expression unreadable, fingers gloved and clothes immaculate even here.
“Finally,” Bellatrix sang, her voice a blade of mockery. “We were wondering if the great Regulus Black was going to grace us with his presence or keep us waiting like errant schoolchildren.” She let her cloak sweep back with a flick of her wrist.
Regulus did not move. He stood on the edge of the bluff with his hands clasped behind his back, the wind lifting strands of his dark hair across his face. In another life, he might have looked like a young aristocrat surveying his estate; in this life, he looked like a boy balanced on the lip of an abyss.
As his cousin approached, he felt it immediately. The old itch under his skin, the coiling of a hot, thin wire through his blood. He always felt it around Bellatrix. The desire to snap, to lash out, to silence her. It was as if every word from her mouth scraped against something raw inside him. He despised her. Not just for what she’d done, but for what she represented.
All his life, she had been a living, shrieking embodiment of everything he’d been forced to kneel for.
“Still staring at the sea?” Bellatrix laughed, taking a few steps closer. “Darling, you always were the dreamy one. I suppose someone has to be.”
Fenrir sniffed the air, a low growl curling from his throat.
“Smells like a graveyard,” he muttered. “And something else. Magic.”
Lucius glanced at the werewolf with a slight narrowing of his eyes but said nothing. He was watching Regulus carefully, like a chess player trying to decide if a pawn had suddenly become a knight.
Bellatrix went on, her voice rising with the wind.
“You will keep up, of course. I don’t have time to coddle you tonight, little cousin. Our Lord wants this done swiftly. I will be directing the—”
“You won’t.”
The words were soft, almost lost under the crash of the surf, but they stopped Bellatrix as surely as a curse. She turned, her smile frozen.
“What did you say?”
Regulus finally moved, turning to face them. His eyes were dark and steady, but there was a strange quiet power in his stance. Inside, the coil of anger twisted tighter, his fingers aching with the need to grab, to hex, to break. But his voice stayed calm.
“You will not be directing the raid.”
Bellatrix’ laugh cracked like glass.
“And who will? You?”
“Yes,” he said. “Me.”
Lucius’ brows lifted a fraction; even Fenrir straightened slightly.
Bellatrix took a step forward, voice dripping venom.
“You think you can walk in here and tell me—”
“I’m not telling you.” Regulus’ voice was calm, but it carried, unbroken by the wind. “I’m informing you. The Dark Lord gave me command of this raid.” He reached into his cloak and produced the small obsidian seal Voldemort had pressed into his palm before he left. Its carved serpent gleamed blackly in the dying light.
Bellatrix stopped moving. For the first time, her eyes flickered down to the seal and back to his face.
“That’s impossible,” she hissed. “He wouldn’t—”
“He did,” Regulus said, and something in his voice, not arrogance, not even defiance, but a cool certainty, made even Fenrir’s low growl falter.
Lucius’ lips curved faintly, the smallest ghost of a smile, and he inclined his head by a degree.
“Then you’ll give the orders, Little Black.”
Bellatrix’ fingers twitched around her wand, and for an instant, Regulus could see himself lunging forward, see his wand striking a Lacero across the face just to wipe that look off her. He swallowed the impulse like poison.
“You can throw your fit now if it comforts you,” he said quietly. “But it won’t change the fact that I’m in command.”
For a heartbeat, no one moved. The wind tore across the bluff. Far below, the tide hissed and retreated.
Then Bellatrix’ lips curled, a slow, dangerous smile.
“Very well, cousin,” she said at last. “Lead. Let us see what you can do.”
The light bled out of the sky slowly, turning the dunes into long, hunched shadows. Sea spray drifted on the wind like mist, and every so often, the cry of a gull cut the silence. The four of them had settled in a rough circle on the wind-scoured grass above the cliff — but “settled” was the wrong word. No one here was settled.
Bellatrix crouched on a rock, sharpening her wand on a stone she had conjured, the rhythmic scritch an irritating metronome. Fenrir prowled at the edge of the bluff, shoulders rolling under his cloak, occasionally baring his teeth at nothing. Lucius sat very straight with his back to a boulder, a study in cold patience.
Regulus stood apart, staring at the horizon, when he felt his pulse changing, followed by a sharp, tearing jolt, as though a hook had been sunk under his sternum and yanked. Regulus gasped, his knees weakening; the world tilted sideways. He caught himself against the edge of a boulder, fingers digging into the lichen-slick stone. The wind off the sea was suddenly too cold, the salt too sharp.
Inside his chest, something was unspooling — a thread, a chain, a dark vein tugged free. The sensation was worse than anything he had felt before, stronger than the echo of the locket, sharper than the ring’s call. It felt like part of him was being wrenched away and left flailing in the dark.
“Regulus?” Lucius’ voice cut through, smooth but edged with a question. “What happened?”
Regulus kept his back to him, still braced on the rock, the sleeve of his cloak fluttering in the sea wind. He didn’t answer. Couldn’t. His throat felt full of ash.
The pull receded slowly, leaving a hollow behind. A hole as precise and aching as a tooth ripped from its root.
Another one gone, he realised, his pulse hammering in his ears.
He straightened, smoothing his expression into something cool and unreadable before turning back.
“Nothing,” he said curtly, brushing invisible dust from his sleeve. “The wind shifted.”
“What’s the plan?” Bellatrix barked. “Our Lord sent you to command, cousin. I assume there is a plan?”
“There is,” Regulus said without looking at him.
Lucius waited a beat.
“And it would be?”
Regulus turned finally, his gaze level and cold. He let the silence stretch, then spoke again, his tone quieter but heavier, carrying to each of them.
“When night falls, the others will Apparate in — recruits, novices, old hands. Some of them are here for the first time. They will be looking to us for orders. If you give them chaos, you will get chaos. If you give them mindless violence, you will get mindless violence. That’s not what our Lord wants.”
He let his gaze slide over Bellatrix, over Fenrir, finally back to Lucius.
“Tonight you will act as if you fear him — truly fear him. But you will also act as if you respect him. You will show discipline, precision, and obedience. No theatrics. No self-indulgence. We are not a mob. We are the Dark Lord’s hand, not his tantrum. And there is no other way forward except to believe that. You can do whatever you please after the raid.”
Fenrir gave a low laugh.
“You talk like you’re teaching a class, boy.”
Regulus’ eyes flicked to him.
“If that’s what it takes for you to understand, then listen. You’ve seen what happens when the Dark Lord is displeased.” He let the words hang for a long, cold moment.
The wind rattled across the grass. Lucius said nothing this time; even Bellatrix looked away, drumming her fingers against the stone.
The last amber edge of the sun had gone, and Cornwall’s dunes became black teeth against a sea of shifting silver. The air was wet and heavy; the sound of the waves rolled in like a low drumbeat beneath everything else.
They came first as whispers of displaced air. Apparitions cracking the air as Death Eaters apparated one by one along the ridgeline. Dark figures in hooded cloaks, masks glinting faintly when the moon broke through the clouds. Novices mostly, but also some seasoned hands Voldemort had sent to “keep order.” They looked more like scavengers than soldiers: jittery, wands drawn, eyes flicking at shadows.
Regulus stood at the centre of them, a black silhouette on the rise, hands clasped loosely behind his back. From this vantage, he could see the fishing hamlet below, just pinpricks of candlelight through warped glass. He could also see the rookery on the cliff — his first target. According to the reports, that was the place where the Order put one of their bases. If we was fast enough, he could trigger the alarms without Bellatrix or Lucius noticing and have the Resistance out before the raid actually started.
Bellatrix was already striding up and down the line, her cloak snapping, voice sharp.
“Keep your wands up, you idiots. You’re not here to sightsee. Any man who hesitates will find his throat cut by me before the enemy does.”
Lucius leaned lazily on his cane just behind her, eyes pale and amused.
“Charming as always, Bella,” he murmured, then pitched his voice so Regulus could hear. “One wonders how you intend to control this menagerie, Regulus.”
Regulus ignored him at first. He let Bellatrix preen, let her spit fire. Let the recruits tremble under her theatrics. And then, softly, deliberately, he raised his wand, not as a threat but as a signal. The recruits’ murmuring died. Even Bellatrix paused mid-sentence, turning to him with a faint frown.
“This raid,” Regulus said, and his voice was quiet, “is not a tavern brawl.” He stepped forward into the moonlight so every masked face could see his eyes. “It is not a chance for you to indulge your cruelties or your tempers. It is a test.”
He let that word hang there. Test. The novices shifted, glancing at each other.
“You will not act as mindless beasts,” he went on. “You will move when I tell you to move. You will stop when I tell you to stop. Anyone who disobeys me tonight will answer to the Dark Lord himself.”
Bellatrix’ lips curled, but she said nothing. Lucius tilted his head, studying Regulus with a flicker of genuine interest now. Fenrir gave a low growl from somewhere to the right, but even he stilled when Regulus’ gaze cut to him.
“Fear the Dark Lord,” Regulus said softly, almost gently. “Fear him and respect him. There is no path but obedience. You do not have to like me or each other. You only have to remember that his will is absolute. And tonight, his will moves through me.”
The last line landed like a strike. Even Bellatrix stiffened.
A recruit near the back, a boy barely older than seventeen, shifted his feet. Regulus flicked his wand without looking. The boy’s wand snapped out of his hand and landed in the sand at Regulus’ boots.
“That,” Regulus said, “was hesitation. Pick it up. Do not repeat it.”
The boy bent and scrambled for his wand. No one else moved.
Regulus turned back to the crowd.
“I want you to move in pairs,” he ordered. “One experienced, one novice. Staggered formation. We silence the owls first, cut communications. After that, the houses on the east edge. No fire until I say. We move like a knife, not a hammer.”
The recruits shuffled into pairs, some fumbling with their masks. Bellatrix muttered something under her breath but fell into step beside Fenrir. Lucius joined two other masked wizards at the rear, his pale eyes gleaming.
Regulus raised his wand again.
“On my mark.”
The wind shifted, carrying the smell of salt and kelp. The hamlet below lay quiet, unaware. For a heartbeat, everything held — the waves, the wind, the breath of dozens of cloaked figures on the dunes.
Then Regulus dropped his hand. “Go.”
Cloaked figures vanished in pairs, reappearing like ghosts on the roofs of the hamlet, and in the shadows of the alleys. Spells whispered, brief and bright, then gone. Owls screeched once and then fell silent. Windows shattered inward under invisible force.
From the ridge, Regulus raised his wand again and, with a flick of his wrist, he sent his Patronus to the rookery.
He stood for another heartbeat, watching until the silvery glow vanished into the dark. Then he adjusted the mask over his face with a precise tug, making sure no hint of skin showed beneath the hood. He felt the familiar press of the iron-edged persona closing over him, sealing him off.
Regulus Black, heir of a great house. Not the boy on the dunes. Not the boy who’d once believed the world could be simple.
He Apparated with a muted crack into the centre of the hamlet. His boots hit the cobblestones with a hiss of displaced air as damp mist curled around his ankles. The narrow street smelled of salt and chimney smoke, of bread half-baked and left forgotten in ovens.
All the tiny signs of life about to be uprooted.
And beneath it all, he felt the magic moving around him like a second pulse, the Death Eaters a constellation of heat in the dark. He could hear them shifting, whispering spells under their breath, the scrape of boots on stone. In his mind, he mapped their positions automatically. Two on the roofs, three at the eastern gate, Bellatrix pacing near the fountain like a hungry predator.
Then a flare of green ripped up from a roof to his left — too early, far too bright. The spell sizzled as it arced downward. Regulus’ wand snapped up with a speed that was pure reflex; a silent counter-curse sliced the flare apart before it could hit the ground. Shards of light hissed and died in the mist.
“Who fired that?” he barked, then flicked his wand again, and the culprit, another novice after the look of pure shock written on his face, was dragged forward through the air, crashing to the cobblestones at his feet.
Regulus didn’t even glance down at him. He could feel Bellatrix watching from the edge of the square, waiting for blood. He let the silence stretch.
“Lesson one,” he said at last, his voice cold as iron. “You keep your aim. Always. Even when your heart is pounding, even when you think you see glory waiting in the dark.”
The boy opened his mouth, but Regulus raised a finger, and the sound died in his throat.
“Lesson two—” He lowered his wand until it hovered at the boy’s throat, just above the pulse. “If you don’t, you will not live long enough to learn lesson three.”
The boy made a strangled noise. The tip of Regulus’ wand glowed faintly, then dimmed as he pulled it back.
“Get up,” he said flatly. “And do not test me again.”
The boy scrambled to his feet, fumbling his mask into place. Regulus turned his back on him without a flicker of expression, the hem of his cloak trailing like a shadow through the mist.
He moved toward the fountain at the square’s centre, the appointed rally point. His mind was already on the next step. The Patronus would have reached the rookery by now. If anyone from the Order was hidden there, scouts, watchmen, some poor child sent to keep an eye on the owls, they would see the message, understand its meaning, and withdraw.
But of course, that would have been far too simple.
Instead of retreat, the Order answered with an advance. Shapes stepped out from the alley’s darkness, and at once Regulus’ stomach tightened with a strange, private pain. Two broad-shouldered men moved together with grim precision, their wands raised like blades — the Prewett twins. Gideon and Fabian: once freckled Gryffindor boys laughing across the Great Hall, now an interlinked storm of curses and counters, all the warmth burned out of them by war. Behind them moved a larger, darker presence — Kingsley Shacklebolt — his power carried with an ease that was almost casual, as if magic to him was no heavier than air.
They didn’t even glance at the masked Death Eaters. They didn’t need to. They weren’t here to pick targets by name; they were here to break whatever stood in their path.
Regulus’ first clear sight of Gideon hit him like a hex, stopping him mid-step. In that instant, the raid shifted from surgical precision to something savage and unpredictable, and the novices were the first to pay for it.
They died like moths at a lamp: a throat opened with a flash of Lacero, a body toppling wordless from a roof, limbs slack in death. Green light flared against a thatched roof, and the scream beneath it ended abruptly. Smoke rose in thick, acrid ribbons, carrying the metallic tang of spell-fire and blood. Someone’s heel skidded on slick cobblestones; a mask flew off and clattered like a dropped face. This wasn’t heroism; it was butchery. The Order fought like predators.
The novices were nothing but paper shields against years of honed reflex and hunger.
And in the middle of it, Bellatrix moved.
She changed in an instant from vainglorious commander to feral animal. The manic smile melted from her face and left something stripped and terrible behind; where she had swaggered there was now a predator’s poise. She swung and ran, shrieking spells with an abandon that made the hair along Regulus’ arms rise. She laughed like something broken and beautiful, and the Prewett twins answered her the only way they could: with stubborn, brutal persistence.
Fabian reached her first, hacking through a spray of curses like a man tearing down a barricade. He fought like someone who would rather take a wound than give ground. Bellatrix answered with a predator’s grace, twisting, pivoting, each hex she loosed a bright bloom that splashed against stone or shattered under a practiced counter-curse.
Regulus felt it before he saw Gideon: the shift in the air when someone decides to take you personally. He turned, wand already up, and there was Gideon through the smoke, cutting in a line as if to sever the night in two. The man’s face was set in a hard, bleak mask of grief and anger, and his wand was already aimed towards him. He struck with a force that made Regulus’ ribs ache on impact, a curse that slammed into the side of his mask and rattled his teeth behind it.
They clashed.
Regulus fought with the cold economy of someone who had been given command and intended to keep it. Every block was precise, every riposte calculated; his wand moved not in flourishes but in knife-sharp angles, the movements of a duellist who had trained to survive, not impress. He tried, absurdly, to read the line of Gideon’s jaw, the set of his shoulders, as if a flash of recognition might soften his hand. But there was nothing. Tonight, the mask was not just porcelain; it was the whole idea of what they were supposed to be, and the man beneath it was simply an enemy who had to be stopped.
The battle around them pulsed like a living wound. Spells clashed in colours that had no right to exist together — neon blues crashing into sulphur-green, jets of white fire cutting across arcs of sickly purple. The air smelled of singed hair and scorched skin. Roof tiles exploded like shrapnel. Somewhere, a novice shrieked, the sound clipped off in mid-breath.
Kingsley Shacklebolt moved through it all like a slow, inexorable avenger. Where others ducked and weaved, he simply walked, his wandwork both shield and scythe — a quick Reparo to keep a roof from collapsing on a fleeing family, a dome of shimmering light to let civilians scramble away, a Stunner dropped into a Death Eater’s ribs with the same calm rhythm. He was terrifying not because of rage but because of that steadiness, because every blow served a purpose and every purpose bent the chaos around him.
Gideon Prewett was different. Gideon was a storm. He had an animal rhythm that did not falter, a relentless cadence of hex, counter-step, strike. He slashed across Regulus’ sleeve, the cutting curse shearing cloth like silk and scoring skin beneath. Pain flared, hot and immediate, dragging Regulus out of his detached fog into the terrible clarity of survival. He bit back a hiss and pivoted, answering with a shallow but brutal barrage meant to buy a breath, forcing Gideon back a step into a spill of brick dust.
Around them, Order members fought with the grim grace of those who had accepted loss as the price of every move. A young witch took a curse to the chest, her eyes lifting skyward for one last second before she folded without a sound. Another man shielded a comrade with his own body, gritted out a prayer, and fired one last hex before he fell.
Through it all, Gideon’s voice cut the noise. He cursed under his breath in that soft, precise cadence of an Englishman who had not yet lost his humanity to war, and then — a beat between strikes — he spoke, not as a plea but like the tolling of some old bell:
“Yield,” he said once. “Yield for once.”
Instead, something older slackened in Regulus, the part that had been taught to obey and to obey well. His wand flicked.
He burned a path past Gideon’s defences, a sequence of hexes meant to incapacitate and not to tear life from the body, and for a moment, Gideon staggered, breath knocked out.
And over the crash of magic, Regulus heard it.
Closer. Closer. He bleeds. He is yours.
The whisper. The same whisper that was supposed to have been silenced when the Horcrux was destroyed. It hissed now, threading through the screams, coiling in the acrid smoke of spellfire. His hands went cold. The world lurched sideways.
Homes burned in feverish, half-ordered conflagrations. A child’s cry cut across an alley and was swallowed by a roar of collapsing beams. Kingsley moved like a shepherd through slaughter, plucking fighters from harm with brutal compassion. A woman dragged a little girl into a doorway, throwing a shield charm that shimmered like water; another hauled a man with a shattered leg into a narrow corridor, murmuring healing charms as others shielded them.
Gideon came at him one last time, a furious swing of his wand meant to finish it. Regulus raised his own, blocking on instinct, but Gideon’s curse clipped the edge of his mask. The iron-grey porcelain cracked and spun away, clattering across the cobblestones.
For the first time since the fight started, there was no barrier between them.
Gideon froze mid-lunge. His wand dipped; his face opened. The hard lines of battle fell away, replaced by something raw and stunned. His eyes widened, blue as ice, and for a moment, he looked not like a soldier but a man seeing a ghost.
“Merlin—Regulus?” His voice was hoarse, disbelief and recognition warping it. “You’re supposed to be dead.”
Regulus’ breath rasped in his throat, salt and blood and smoke catching behind his teeth. He didn’t answer. For a flicker of a heartbeat, the street went silent around them, like the tide holding its breath. Gideon blinked once, eyes still fixed on him, and lowered his wand another inch, the tremor of recognition breaking through his battle mask.
That inch of slack was all Lucius Malfoy needed.
He moved before the moment could break. He stepped out from the edge of the square, his pale mask turning toward Gideon like a knife turning to find its mark.
“Fool,” he hissed, and without hesitation sent a curse slicing across the gap. The street lit green for an instant, sparks spitting off cobblestones. Gideon barely had time to throw himself aside; the blast scored the ground where he’d stood.
The shock rippled outward. More Death Eaters Apparated in sharp cracks of displaced air, dark figures unfurling from the shadows. Masks, cloaks, the glint of wands, reinforcements answering Lucius’ signal.
The street, which had been a knife-edge between forces, tipped violently.
It became a trap.
“Hold your line!” Fabian Prewett’s voice ripped through the noise — hoarse, furious — as he hurled himself toward his brother, one arm snaking around Gideon to drag him upright. Gideon’s knees buckled, but he stayed on his feet, still staring at Regulus with a look halfway between fury and disbelief.
“Shields! Shields!” Shacklebolt barked at the rear guard, his deep voice steady but edged with urgency. Even his calm was cracking. He pivoted to block a hex, the rebound shattering a drainpipe into shrapnel. The alleys around them were filling fast with cloaked shapes.
Another volley rained down from the rooftops. A shield charm from the Order fractured with a noise like breaking ice, sending its caster staggering. A novice Death Eater spun and went down shrieking, tripping another. Two of Lucius’ men darted forward to hem the Prewetts in, curses snapping from their wands like lashes.
“They’ve doubled their numbers!” a young witch from the Order shouted over the din. “We’re cut off!”
Kingsley’s jaw tightened, his eyes scanning, calculating. His voice, when it came, was low but absolute.
“Retreat. Now.”
Fabian’s grip on Gideon’s arm tightened. Gideon still stared at Regulus — pale beneath the soot, a flicker of boyhood familiarity swimming in the chaos — but he didn’t resist when Fabian began to haul him back.
“Is anyone else alive?” Gideon muttered, dazed, even as another curse screamed past his head, heat singing his hair. “Is J—”
“Move!” Fabian snarled, shoving him toward the last open alley before another wave closed it off.
The Order broke. Not a rout but a disciplined splintering: Disapparition cracks flashing like silent fireworks, wounded dragged under arms, shields thrown backward to cover their escape. Bellatrix shrieked after them, her laughter feral and high as she flung hex after hex into the emptying street, but the Order was already fading into the night with the ruthless precision of survivors.
And then it was just them.
Regulus stood where he was, wand lowered, Lucius’ spell still curling green smoke at his feet, his cracked mask lying on the stones like a fallen face. His chest rose and fell in short, sharp jerks. The street stank of blood and burned plaster; fire hissed from a ruined doorway. Somewhere, a horse screamed and fell silent. In the distance, the last echo of Apparition faded, leaving only the hiss of flames and the heavy, hammering throb of his own pulse in his ears.
Everything was a fever dream now. The square, the firelight, the broken houses—they didn’t seem to belong to the same world as his body. It was as though he’d slipped out of himself and was watching from somewhere just above, a phantom caught in the rafters of his own mind. His body below moved automatically—wand at his side, mask gone, cloak heavy with soot and ash—while the real Regulus hovered somewhere distant, unable to reach back in.
Time had lost its edges. Minutes, hours. He couldn’t say. The sky was beginning to pale in streaks of sickly blue at the horizon, but it felt like an optical illusion, the sort of false dawn that flickers at the edge of exhaustion.
Below, his Death Eaters were still moving, still working, as if dawn had no jurisdiction here. He saw them in flashes like a series of grotesque tableaux:
A masked figure forcing open a cottage door, rifling through drawers before lighting the curtains with a flick of his wand.
Two more were dragging a pair of dazed survivors into the square, presenting them to Bellatrix and Lucius with the triumphant air of hunters showing off a kill.
A cluster of novices laughing each time someone screamed, their voices high and giddy like children at a fair.
It all stuttered in his vision like frames of a film strip. And yet, he couldn’t do anything but watch.
Because he was supposed to be a commander assessing his army.
A commander watching his troops pile bodies like cordwood, burning corpses in the square as if marking territory.
The word commander tasted like bile. He’d become something hollow that still moved and spoke and issued orders.
A flicker of movement broke the film reel. There, behind a heap of rubble and the broken shell of a house, a flash of brown and red. It was small and quick, a streak of life in all this ruin. For a moment, his heart stumbled, and he almost forgot how to breathe.
“We have to go,” Regulus heard himself say. His own voice startled him; it sounded old, hoarse, far away. Bellatrix’ head snapped up at once, her fingers tightening cruelly around the cheeks of a boy she was holding, her eyes bright and wild.
“Our job is done here,” Regulus said again, louder, steadier.
“Cousin, you don’t expect us to—” Her voice was a hiss of contempt and glee, a blade dragged across the inside of his skull. It made his insides clench, a violent, rising urge to strike her, to silence her. Fury flickered through him like wildfire, licking at his ribs, but his mask of command held.
“Our Lord is expecting a report,” he said coldly, each word a stone dropped into still water. “Would you like to explain to him why we were late, Bella?”
The name was a knife; her eyes narrowed into slits. She held his gaze for a long moment, then let go of the boy’s face with a shove that left red marks.
“However you wish,” she snarled, her wand flicking toward the novice closest to her. “Take this one to my manor,” she ordered, pointing at the boy as if he were an object. She cast Regulus one last, burning look and then vanished with a whip-crack of displaced air.
One by one, the shadows dissolved, Death Eaters Apparating away until only their echoes were left. The square emptied like a lung exhaling air. The smell of scorched stone and singed fabric hung heavy in the morning air, mingling with the metallic tang of blood and something sweetly rotten. His boots crunched on shattered cobblestones as he moved, the remains of overturned carts and broken signs rattling underfoot.
Each step sounded impossibly loud in the hush that followed the chaos. It was as though the silence itself were alive, holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. Regulus felt like he was walking through a dream he couldn’t wake from, a marionette moving through a theatre of ruin while the real boy—the boy who had once snuck to Cornwall to look at stars—watched from somewhere far above, screaming soundlessly into the dawn.
He whirled on his heel, eyes scanning the alleyway that had caught his attention earlier—the narrow, debris-strewn path between two dilapidated buildings, partially hidden by smoke and shadows. His wand was already raised, though he had no spell in mind, and his senses were taut with that old, familiar edge of wariness that had sharpened over years of the Black family’s careful training and Voldemort’s machinations.
Regulus stepped forward carefully, boots crunching on splintered glass. He passed what remained of a cart, its iron wheel still faintly glowing from some spell’s aftershock, ducked under a shattered beam whose ends smouldered like the tips of burnt matches. Each movement was deliberate, ritualistic. A soldier’s caution warring with an animal’s instinct to flee. Broken bricks and jagged wood scraped against his cloak, catching and pulling at the fabric as though trying to hold him back.
And then he saw them.
Or thought he did.
A shape hunched over a corpse in the shadow of an old barn. For a heartbeat, it didn’t move at all, and the stillness of it was worse than any obvious threat. They were still, almost carved into the scene like one of the statues Uncle Alphard used to collect.
A presence that seemed impossibly solid yet hauntingly fragile.
He took another step, and his fingers ached from gripping his wand too hard. Morning light poured through the collapsed roof of the barn in jagged shafts, scattering across dust motes that swirled like tiny ghosts. His breath caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat. For the first time that night, he felt the mask of command slip, and something like dread filled the space where his orders had been.
A twig snapped under his foot.
The sound cracked the air like a spell. The figure jerked upright with a startled gasp; the motion was too human, too vulnerable, and it punched through his battle-hardened senses like an arrow. The hood fell back. Waves of long, reddish hair tumbled out into the light, darker than Lily’s but streaked with silver strands. For a sick, whiplash moment, his mind refused to process what he was seeing.
He took a half-step back. His wand trembled. It couldn’t be—
The figure turned toward him. Slowly, deliberately. Each motion seemed to take an age, the seconds dragging and stretching until the world became soundless and slow. Light fell across her face.
And then his world shattered.
It wasn’t Lily.
The woman standing before him had the same warm brown eyes that had haunted his dreams and nightmares for years, the same impossibly long dark lashes, the same unyielding determination in the set of a familiar mouth that had once undone him completely.
Familiarity slammed into him like a curse, ripping his breath from his chest. His stomach dropped.
"Mrs. Potter?” he whispered. The words came out small, cracked, childlike even. Nothing like the cold, calculating voice of the man who had orchestrated a massacre.
Notes:
Hope you all missed her 😌
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