Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A warm spring evening enveloped the city in a soft, almost golden light. It seemed as though even the air had grown a little thicker, as if it were filled with the honeyed rays of sunset. The streets were slowly emptying — ladies in elegant dresses with parasols hurried home, carriages rolled leisurely over the cobblestone pavement, and children, not yet ready to part with the day, gave their final shouts, disappearing into narrow alleys. Silence settled over the city little by little, like a soothing blanket.

On this lovely evening I was returning from a lesson with my brother’s piano teacher. That’s what I always called him — Hio’s teacher; his name was Garijus. Even after all this time, I couldn’t bring myself to call him simply my teacher, perhaps because I still didn’t feel connected to him, or perhaps because Hio himself was far too jealous of his teacher and his inspiration. 

My brother’s voice still rang in my head: “You need to try, your voice is too good to stay silent, the teacher is always impressed, you need to sing a couple of songs to his music!” He said it so confidently, so grown-up, that I didn’t even try to argue back then. And now these lessons really had grown on me. The teacher was a kind man, always immersed in his melodies. His music wrapped the room, filling it to the corners, and I sang, letting my voice follow the sounds of the piano. After such lessons I always felt lighter, as though some sad thoughts slipped away along with the song…

I walked through the streets, enjoying the warm air. The city was extraordinarily beautiful at this time of day: golden shadows trembled on the pavement, and the air was filled with the smell of fresh bread, soups, smoked fish, and everything being cooked in the various restaurants and bakeries. But somehow, I didn’t want to go home. The fatigue that had built up over the day made itself felt, weighing on my mood. Yes, I liked to sing, I was ready to do it after school, but today had been especially exhausting. The tests at school drained me and all I dreamed of was to lie down and give myself at least a minute of peace — but not at home… at home I didn’t feel at ease…

For a moment I slowed down, catching sight of a shadow flitting somewhere on the roof of a low house. I decided it was just my imagination, but I had barely taken another couple of steps when someone gracefully jumped down from the roof right in front of me. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest from the shock. I froze, unable even to exhale, and only after a few seconds, when I made out the familiar features, did I feel everything inside me gradually calm down.

Fukase was standing in front of me. His curly, bright red hair was slightly tousled from the jump, but that only added to his charm. Scarlet eyes, like precious stones, gleamed in the soft light of the setting sun. He wore his usual, though still slightly odd, clothes: pale red trousers, brown boots much like mine, and a delicate women’s blouse with sparse lace. He looked lovely; that elegant, feminine blouse suited him, and some passersby often noticed it, but to me it seemed natural, as though it simply couldn’t be otherwise. Fukase had once said that his sister gave him her old clothes — too much of a pity to throw them away. It seemed a silly reason, almost an excuse, but I never asked if it was true — I simply liked that he was who he was. I’d grown used to seeing him this way — not richly beautiful, slightly feminine, naturally elegant…

On the left side of his body, where the edges of scars peeked from under the fabric, my gaze lingered a little longer than I’d meant it to. Those scars were always a mystery to me. Were they burns, marks from something else, or just an unusual birthmark? I didn’t know. I didn’t dare ask. And it seemed he preferred it that way — he never spoke about them himself…!

— Oli! — he exclaimed, smiling broadly and stepping toward me. His voice sounded as though we hadn’t seen each other in an eternity, though it had only been a few days. He hugged me tightly but briefly, as if afraid to be too intrusive. — Let’s go for a walk, Oliver?

— It’s been a long day… — I answered honestly, not even trying to hide the weariness in my voice. — I’m tired. Lots of tests at school… end of the year, all that, we’re preparing for the final exam.

He laughed, softly and with a hint of mischief.

— You need to learn from me. I’m my own teacher! Sister and Asterian make me read books now and then, but no tests, no schools. Isn’t that splendid? — He looked at me with a sly spark in his eyes.

— Well, I don’t know… It would be hard for me to study at home; I even get lazy about extra singing lessons, though I love to sing — what can I say about other subjects! — I tried to look unperturbed, though inside I felt everything start to warm up. Fukase was always like that — able to throw me off balance in the simplest way.

— But still! — he leaned closer and theatrically extended his hand as if inviting me to dance. — A gentleman wouldn’t refuse to keep me company, would he? Walk me home!

I felt a faint blush creep over my face. He saw it, I was sure. And still, I couldn’t help but smile.

— Eww, you’re such a girl… — I snorted, rolling my eyes but smiling slightly. — All right. But not for long…

— Not for long! — he confirmed, grinning slyly and grabbing my hand. We walked together, dissolving into the warm light of the fading day.

In truth, we often walked each other home, since we didn’t live that far apart… we were both lucky enough to live in a neighborhood for people with above-average incomes. My family was simply well-off, and Fukase and his older sister Flower had been taken in by a rather wealthy and respected man — Asterian. Asterian was dark-skinned, which wasn’t much respected in our parts, but the man was a doctor of all trades, so he was held in esteem and admired. Nothing bound Fukase and Asterian, but the doctor was known for his big heart — finding polite but homeless people on the streets, he often hired them as servants; that’s how he met Fukase and his sister… the sister became his housekeeper, but no one made Fukase work… later Fukase grew close to Asterian, and he allowed both Fuka and Flo to stay with him for nothing, without giving anything in return. My father was good friends with Asterian, so I knew the details — Asterian never managed to fall in love, but he had always dreamed of a child, so he came to love Fukase, whom he met when the boy was just ten years old…

I grew close to Fukase precisely because he too was “in a new place,” just like I was at the time. I, like Fuka, wasn’t really family to the people I lived with, so we had things to talk about… we were almost the same age, I was eleven months younger, he had lost his mother just a couple of months before, I about half a year before, so we understood each other, though, truth be told, Fukase spoke little to me about his feelings about his mother, as though he was afraid to say too much… but despite that, we felt calm together and shared a lot. He told me about the kingdom he’d moved from, he often spoke about books he read… I, on the other hand, didn’t like to read, but Fukase enjoyed it; when school assigned reading, I’d come to Fukase and he would read aloud to me. In turn, I would tell him about my school, my friends, my life in the orphanage and other little things… but lately, talking to Fukase had become hard for me… he was so tactile, and I… I fell in love… I fell head over heels for him, and every touch of his made me burn! I was so afraid he’d find out, so I tried to spend less time with him, but he kept clinging to me, as if he too had fallen in love!

— How is Asterian? I haven’t heard about him in a while… — I said, nervously breaking the awkward silence as we walked. 

— Ah, nothing much, same as always — perfectly fine! What else is there for him to be? — Fukase replied with a smile, studying the food stalls. — Are you hungry? I brought a bit of money with me, don’t you want something tasty?

— No, it’s fine… the food at the canteen was good today! Not like yesterday! — I answered, not wanting to delay the walk by buying some pastry. — Thursdays are always like that! I don’t understand why they have to make Thursdays the worst — no proper lessons, no good food!

— Oli, you skip all the hard lessons on Thursday, what are you talking about, ha-ha! — laughed Fukase. — Come on, come on, the square root of…

— Oh, shut up! — I exclaimed, playfully slapping his cheek with my palm. Math was the bane of my existence… what square roots, when even at twelve I still confused addition and multiplication, the numbers nine and six, and still wrote some of the digits backwards? — I get it already, no more skipping… mama was so embarrassed because of me today…

— So they finally complained at the end of the year, huh?

— Ugh… I ruin everything…

— Hey, don’t say that! I’m sure Miss Ann wasn’t all that disappointed, I think she knows about your struggles… you’ve been with them for over two years, how could she not? Your father’s a hard worker, I understand, no time — but not your mother…

Fukase patted me on the shoulder, soothing me.

— Let’s not talk about this… — he said with a smile. — Oliver… why have you never sung for me?

I looked at him in confusion… where did that come from?

— I was at your performance on Wednesday. You sang so beautifully… — Fuka explained, blushing and averting his gaze from me. — Angelic little voice… and with Garius Pionis’ music it was just divine… especially the one about graves and about a girl or something, ah, you sounded so wonderful!

— Garijus Pijonis… — I corrected him, knowing that my teacher’s name was the one name he could never pronounce properly… the Lithuanian sound was still strange to Fuka.

— Oh, come on now…

— My brother would tear your tongue out for such disrespect. — I smirked, seeing Fukase roll his eyes. — Anyway… thank you, that’s very sweet… I’ll sing for you someday, maybe.

He blushed a little too, squeezing my hand a bit tighter, but just as he was about to speak again, I stopped.

— We’re here… — I said, nodding toward the gate of the rather large house where Fuka lived.

— Ah, right… — he said, as if not expecting us to arrive so soon. — Eh… maybe you’ll come in?

— N-no, I’m tired… I’ll just go home. — I shook my head, but Fukase suddenly grabbed me by my ribbon tie and pulled me toward him, my face ending up very close to his.

— You’re coming with me… I want to do something personal, but with you, behind closed doors. — Kase murmured in a dangerously calm voice, looking at me with a serious gaze.

That sent a shiver racing down my back, I felt myself pale, but Fukase never seemed dangerous, so I quickly calmed down and, stepping back a little, still nodded, after which he chuckled cheerfully, opened the gate and went into the yard, and I followed after him. Asterian never minded my visits — I was Fukase’s friend after all, so even if he was home, he wouldn’t object.

Fukase led me into the house; it was as clean and beautiful as always, all sorts of expensive things decorated it: paintings, vases, and other little trinkets. Fukase dragged me up to the second floor, then the third, right to the attic — that was his “studio,” where he painted and sculpted. Usually he didn’t let anyone in there, even me only rarely, he said it was personal…

— Come in, have a seat… — said Fukase, unlocking the attic door with his key and letting me in. Right by the window, curtained, on the windowsill lay several pillows; Fuka nudged me there, and I sat down, silently watching my friend.

Fukase rummaged through the boxes behind all the drawings he’d made and took out a very thin brush, some golden paint, and a book. He came over to me and sat down opposite, opened the jar of paint and handed me the brush, then opened the book and flipped a few pages…

— Paint this on me… — he said, turning the book toward me and showing me a drawing… it was some kind of pattern of dots, twisted lines, and little stars.

— Why? — I asked, not understanding what was happening, why Fukase had brought me home and why he was telling me to paint something directly on him.

Fukase sighed and, pushing the curtain aside, looked out the window, then leaned close to me and whispered right in my ear with his soft, slightly hoarse voice:

— Tonight I’ll tell you, just trust me, Oli…

His whisper sent another wave of shivers through me… ah, that beautiful voice, just starting to crack — how could I refuse anything he asked?

— T-tonight…? You planning to come steal me away in the night? — I joked, leaning back a little so I wouldn’t feel his warm breath on my face.

Fukase smirked and, only whispering an intriguing “you’ll see,” once again extended his right hand to me, ordering me to paint. Looking at him suspiciously, I nevertheless exhaled and nodded, dipped the tip of the brush in the paint, and pressed it to the boy’s pale skin.

— Exactly as in the book? — I asked, not wanting to start all over again later.

— Try to copy it, but don’t worry too much about it, the differences won’t matter… — he replied calmly, and so I set about replicating the pattern from the book on Fukase’s arm. I tried my hardest — after all, I loved Fukase, and I didn’t want to draw anything ugly on him!

I guided the brush along his arm, continuing to paint the lines, then I began to draw the cute little stars, which was harder, and then I added tiny dots to the design. It came out almost identical to the one in the book, and I was satisfied!

— There! — I said, handing the brush back to Fuka. — Now can I go?

Fukase looked at the pattern on his arm with a smile, then took the brush from me, grabbed my hand, and without asking began to paint a single four-pointed star on it. The brush tickled my skin, but I didn’t flinch, not wanting to get in the way.

As soon as the points of the star connected, the paint on our hands suddenly began to glow, radiating light. It looked like some sort of magical ritual; I panicked and yanked my hand back, staring at Fukase in fear, but after a moment the glow faded, and the design itself turned pale, becoming just a shade lighter than the skin.

— Wh-what was that?! — I cried, sliding off the windowsill onto the floor in fright. — What the hell was that, what did you do?!

— Hehe…! — the boy laughed, sticking his tongue out, then stood up, took my hand, and helped me up. He didn’t seem to understand at all what had scared me. — I’ll tell you everything… tonight! Now go home and get some sleep, it’s getting dark, we’ll see each other soon!

Fukase gave me a little push toward the attic door, and gathering my thoughts, I went out onto the stairs, and he shut the door behind me without even seeing me to the door of the house. I was still a little shocked by what had happened, so I just left quietly, without any questions. Once outside, I headed home, thinking all the while about that strange glow. I looked down at my hand and at the star… running my fingers over it, I couldn’t rub it off, which sent a cold chill through me. Would this thing ever go away? And if not? Fukase hadn’t said a word, just did it and that was all! Damn it, he was always a little out of his mind — he could come up with an idea, silly and incomprehensible, and he’d do everything to make it happen — but I was his friend, he could have thought of me… but then again… he would never hurt me, that was something I was sure of! He was my best friend, and I was his, he wouldn’t hurt me…

— Oliver! — came Ruby’s bright voice behind me, making me flinch and quickly hide the star under my shirt sleeve. — It’s quite late, isn’t it? What are you doing out here? At Fukase’s again, huh?

Ruby’s red eyes bore into me, as though she were about to scold me right here and now.

— Yeah, at Fukase’s… — I answered shortly, trying to hide the slight unease.

— Home. Let’s go home. Mother will worry! — she added, looking at me with disapproval, as if I’d just come back from a crime scene.

We walked side by side, and at some point, not wanting to walk in awkward silence, I decided to ask:

— And where were you? — my voice sounded as innocent as possible, but my gaze on her was sharp. She hesitated for a second but then leaned toward me and whispered in my ear:

— On a date.

My eyebrow twitched slightly, but I didn’t ask again. I certainly didn’t need the details. I simply nodded, hiding a faint smile. But now the silence annoyed Ruby too, and as we walked she started scolding me:

— Oliver, do you understand that skipping school isn’t just foolish, it makes things harder for Mother? It’s hard enough for her, and you rebel and you’re always so dissatisfied! You ought to be an obedient, sweet boy! — she said, looking straight ahead. — You’re only twelve, you should be thinking not about your fun but about helping the family! You’re finishing preparatory school — if you don’t pass mathematics, it’ll be hard to get into private school!

I barely listened. Her words dissolved into the air like morning fog. Instead, I thought about her. Ruby… pink-haired, with bright red eyes, almost exactly like Hio’s. Nineteen, and it seemed she had always been too grown-up to speak to me as anything but an annoying child. When they took me from the orphanage, she was seventeen, and the idea of getting a little brother was certainly not part of her plans. I remember how she’d forget I existed and bring home her “friend.” Back then I was too little to understand what was happening, but everything became clear when I saw them kissing. Ruby and Gumi. Gumi had been a singing student of the same teacher who’d taught Hio piano — and who now taught me singing. They’d met through my brother…

When Ruby found out I knew, she started grumbling at me constantly, as if I might spill the secret — though I’d never been a tattletale. I understood her: in our society such love wasn’t accepted. Ruby didn’t want to trouble our parents, didn’t want them to learn her secret… but I would never betray someone for their sin while committing the same one myself.

Ruby and I rarely spoke, keeping to formal greetings and the occasional advice. Now, as she scolded me for skipping school, it didn’t feel unusual. Her words weren’t for me. They were for herself, as though she were convincing herself to be the older sister she was supposed to be. Mother already had so much to bear this year — why should she also worry that we were “not really like family,” as Ruby thought.

I wouldn’t say Ruby didn’t love me at all — she could be cheerful with me sometimes, she helped — but she didn’t see me as a brother, and I didn’t take offense — her opinion hadn’t been considered when they decided to take me… Hio’s opinion, who was going through a hard time back then — that’s what had mattered most. My brother had always been so sensitive, emotional; at fifteen he began to feel the pressure… it was because of his fragile state that they took me into the family — he’d always wanted a little brother, and my parents decided that would make it easier for him. Maybe that’s why my bond with Hio became so strong… I adored Hio — he was so kind, so sweet, so full of wonder! He never minded being alone with me, talking about personal things… there was so much he was afraid to say to our parents, he didn’t want to be a disappointment. He constantly thought he might become that disappointment — his former teacher had drilled that into him. Despite his complicated nature, I loved him so much… he accepted me so quickly. He told me about his feelings, I told him mine — we trusted each other, even though we hadn’t known each other long. Al and Ann — my new parents — took longer to get used to me, not to mention Ruby. And I myself didn’t really want to get close to my parents — they took me as a tool, and it hurt… I loved them in time, but at first, I was cold.

— Are you even listening to me?! — Ruby suddenly exclaimed, knocking on my head playfully, like knocking on a door.

I nodded without looking at her, so as not to provoke more questions. Ruby kept saying something, but I still didn’t listen, my mind wandering in the clouds, recalling the moments of closeness with Hio, with Mother and Father… such pleasant memories… Hio playing for me before bed, and his beloved girl, who loved knitting, giving me soft toys that still lay on my bed. Ann too tried very hard to be a good mother to me, though I didn’t understand at first whether she even wanted me in the family… but now I no longer felt any hostility from her or from Father — they’d come to treat me as a son, though I still felt some guilt for it…

We approached the house. The warm light from the windows spilled softly onto the street, and suddenly the faint scent of baking reached me. Ruby and I stepped inside, and at once I felt the coziness — a mix of warmth, the smell of cinnamon, and something sweet. A Friday evening, just as it always was… Mother loved baking treats on Fridays.

— We’re home! — Ruby called, taking off her outdoor shoes and putting on her house slippers, and I did the same.

Soon Mother peeked out from the kitchen, neat and, as always, very sweet… she had such a warm smile…

— Oh, goodness, you’re so late! — she said, coming over and hugging Ruby and me. — Al hasn’t come yet, but he should be here soon; it’s Friday again — out walking with his friends! And I baked cinnamon rolls, come have some!

Ruby immediately smiled, dropping her frown, and moved to the kitchen, ready to eat probably five rolls as usual — she was such a glutton, and these were Mother’s rolls after all, how could anyone not love them! But I wasn’t hungry… usually I was always happy to have a roll for dinner, but now I just didn’t feel up for food… it was all because of that strange ritual Fukase had done, and that promise he’d explain everything tonight. I pushed all thoughts of Ruby and Hio aside — once again my head was filled with thoughts about the star on my hand.

— Hey now, where are you going, young man? — Mother asked, noticing me heading toward the stairs that led to the second floor. — You’re not going to eat, sweetheart? Or have you already eaten with Fukase?

— Ah… no, I’m just not very hungry. There were so many tests at school today, they’re preparing us for the final exam of prep school… I’m really tired, just want to sleep already… — I answered, hiding my unease.

— I see… well, I’ll save you a couple, rest, sweetheart! — she smiled kindly at me and went back to the kitchen, starting to chat about something with Ruby, but I was no longer interested and just went up to the second floor.

It was on the second floor that all the “children’s bedrooms” were — my sister’s room, my brother’s, and mine. Ruby’s room was close to the stairs, but mine was farther down the corridor. I walked to my room, which was not far from Hio’s, and stopped. Looking around, I glanced at my brother’s door, but without thinking too long, I walked into my own room.

There my pet bird James was waiting — a beautiful golden goldfinch that had been given to me a year ago, though I’d never seen him as a chick; he came to me already grown. James was very sensitive, emotional — he always got so happy when I came home, even despite my coldness toward him. I let him out of the cage when I came in, but I’d lock him back in before bed; we played a little, but I didn’t like doing it… he gave me a strange feeling of hurt, made me remember bad things from the past. I tried to be a good owner, but I just couldn’t accept James as part of the family… in truth, he was just a gift for me, the way I had been for Hio — only, I hadn’t really asked for him, Father just thought it would make things easier for me…

But today I didn’t feel like playing with James. I just wanted to crawl into bed and fall asleep so that Fukase would come sooner and explain everything — which is what I decided to do. Dropping my bag by the bed, I ignored James’ chirps, changed from my street clothes into my nightshirt, and took the bandages off my left eye, placing them on the table. Pouring some food for James, and without even brushing my teeth, I collapsed into bed and wrapped myself in a thin blanket…

To the sound of James eating, I settled in and closed my eyes. In my hand, where the star had been drawn, there was a feeling of warmth or cold — I couldn’t tell… maybe it was just my imagination, but that thing was definitely unusual, since it had glowed earlier, so maybe it really did give off some kind of temperature. I’d have to ask Fukase about it… the sooner the better…

Thinking about it, I drifted into sleep… but then I suddenly woke to the feeling of fresh wild air hitting my nose, to a strange lightness, as though my whole body were floating. Above me stretched a daytime sky — clear, blue, with a few lazy clouds drifting as if in time to a quiet melody. The sun’s light didn’t reach my face thanks to the leaves of a lush tree spreading its branches nearby. I listened. Somewhere in the distance, very faintly, an unfamiliar but simple music played. The melody moved from side to side like a breeze you couldn’t catch. The gentle rustle of grass and this magical sound wrapped everything around me.

I was lying down — but not on the ground. Lifting my head, I saw I was lying on a huge pink flower. Its petals were so soft it felt like waking up in a cozy featherbed. The stem seemed nonexistent, the bloom hovering so close to the earth. This flower, like everything around it, felt part of something other, unreal.

I stood up, brushing off little specks of golden-pink pollen that scattered at my movement. Only then did I notice that I wasn’t wearing my usual street clothes, nor my nightclothes or pajamas. I was dressed in a long, delicate sky-blue coat with golden star patterns along the edges. Golden ribbons were sewn into its trim. The coat looked theatrical, almost magical. Underneath — a light shirt, an ochre-colored waistcoat, and cinnamon-colored breeches just below the knee. At my neck was a huge golden bow, and on my feet… nothing. I was barefoot, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. I didn’t remember ever owning such clothes…

I looked around. The meadow I’d found myself in looked as if it had stepped out of a fairy-tale illustration. Tall grass rose to my waist in places, and above it floated glowing golden orbs — they drifted slowly, creating a graceful, mesmerizing dance, like floating lights. Strange flowers in every imaginable hue swayed in the soft breeze. Berries scattered along the bushes looked like they’d been painted by a careful artist, so ripe and vivid. Slender trees rose here and there, their leaves shimmering in green and blue. Butterflies flitted among the flowers, each one unique — their wings too detailed, the tips curled into spirals, shimmering with all sorts of colors. One butterfly circled above me, emitting that same melodic sound, then flew away, leaving me alone.

“This is a dream…” — I thought, gazing at the incredible beauty around me. — “But how is it so vivid? I don’t remember ever dreaming something like this. Usually my dreams are empty and quiet…”

This world was too alive. I could feel the wind on my face, hear the grass rustle under its breath, and when I stood, I felt the soft petals of flowers brush against my skin.

I took a step forward, carefully making my way through the not-so-high grass, enjoying this strange place — when suddenly I heard a loud crash. Somewhere beyond the trees ahead, something exploded. The sound was distant, but strong enough to make the grass around me shiver slightly. Before I could figure out what to do, something flew straight at me.

— Oh! — I instinctively covered my head with my hands, bracing for impact — but nothing came. The thing landed in the grass right next to me. I cautiously lowered my hands and looked down.

In front of me lay a soft little doll, having landed on a white-and-blue hat. It was white, barely taller than my knee, with black dot eyes and a mouth shaped like a “3”. On its belly was a little cross, like a belly button. On its head sat a strange top hat with a dog’s face, red and white and a little comical; at its neck was tied a red bow, and in its hand it held a cane topped with a dog’s paw.

I recognized this toy. It was the one I’d given Fukase — the plush character now stood before me, as if it had come to life.

— Point? — I said, crouching down before the little doll.

Point lifted his head, tilting it slightly, and then bowed in greeting, which flustered me — hardly anyone ever bowed to me, except sometimes Fukase. Without saying a word, the doll placed the hat it had arrived on onto my head, then began walking somewhere and waved for me to follow. Not knowing what else to do in this dream, I adjusted the hat and followed Point anyway. This was a dream, I was sure of it, so there was no reason to worry.

I walked after Point, wondering what was happening. First this place, then this toy that suddenly came to life and acted like a real being. I decided to try asking a few questions, even though I knew how pointless it was:

— Hey, Point, what am I doing here? This is just a dream, right? — I asked, but the doll, without turning its head, merely made a small gesture, as if inviting me to keep up. — Is it a secret or something…? Or are you just a mute?

It soon became clear that Point either couldn’t speak or simply didn’t want to. Every question of mine he ignored, replying only with short gestures or faint nods. Slightly disappointed, I stopped my pointless attempts and fell silent. Besides, the surroundings themselves urged me to be quiet and simply take them in.

The path we walked on was soft, like freshly turned earth, yet it didn’t dirty my feet. Walking on it barefoot was surprisingly pleasant, as if it had been made for that. The ground was slightly warm, as though it still held the sun’s warmth.

We entered a forest. The trees here weren’t like those in the real world. Their trunks looked smooth, as if polished, yet they bore patterns — little spirals, for instance. The leaves shimmered in shades of green and blue, softly reflecting the light of the glowing orbs still floating all around. Underfoot spread moss, springy and pleasant. Somewhere among the branches I heard birdsong, but there were no birds to be seen. The forest was calm but not gloomy — on the contrary, it felt cozy and safe.

After a few minutes’ walk, we finally left the forest, and I stopped, holding my breath. Before me lay a rolling plain — full of gentle hollows and rises. In its center stretched a vast pond, the water clear, blue-green, the kind of color I’d only seen in paintings. Right in the middle of the pond rose an island with a gigantic tree. Its leaves shimmered green and blue, and large blossoms glowed faintly pink among its branches.

I looked around. Around the pond stood several structures. On a hill a bit away loomed a grand building resembling a theater or opera house — with columns, an ornate facade, and tall windows. On the other side, closer to the forest, I saw simple swings tied to tree branches. They looked overgrown with vines but perfectly preserved, as if someone had just been swinging on them. Closest to me was a little house sitting on a low rise, surrounded by a small garden full of trees with green petals and pink blossoms, their petals falling to the ground to form a soft carpet.

I paused for a moment to take it all in — especially since my vision allowed me to see so much — when I suddenly felt Point tug at my leg. He was clearly urging me on, bidding me not to fall behind. I obediently followed him toward the little house on the hill, which drew nearer and nearer.

The garden around the house was even more beautiful up close. The trees with their blue-green petals filled the air with a faint cherry scent, though they clearly weren’t cherry trees. It felt like I’d stepped into someone’s magical greenhouse. We entered the garden, and I slowed down, unable to tear my eyes away from the beauty all around me.

But something at the edge of my vision caught my attention — I saw movement among the trees. Before I could make sense of what it was, something suddenly leapt at me from above. I gasped in surprise, and the next moment someone landed on me.

We both tumbled into a thick bush of blue flowers. The soft petals cushioned the fall, but I still ended up buried in blossoms from head to toe.

— Ha-ha! There you are, Oli! — came a familiar, pleasant voice, the sound of which made my stomach twist in embarrassment. — I’ve been waiting so long, couldn’t you fall asleep any sooner?

I lifted my head and saw Fukase. He sat next to me, covered in petals, looking at me with a sly smile. His curly, bright red hair was slightly tousled, and there was a playful spark in his eyes. But what embarrassed me most was his outfit. Instead of his usual shirt and trousers, he wore something completely unusual — a bright red, multilayered skirt with patterns and ruffles. On top he wore a white lace shirt that blended into the upper part of the skirt, a bright red sash at his waist forming a huge bow at the back, and at his collar another, smaller bow of the same color. On his head perched a tall hat, making his whole appearance even stranger — the hat was just like Point’s, but without the dog’s face. His hair, usually just red, now had ginger ends dusted with golden sparkles.

— Fukase?! What the-?! What’s with… why are you even wearing a skirt?! — burst out of me before I could stop myself.

He tilted his head slightly, laughed out loud, then stood up and helped me to my feet.

— And what’s wrong with it? — he twirled theatrically, showing off the beauty of the outfit, then leaned closer, looking at me mischievously. — Don’t like it? Can’t I wear what I love even in my own dream world? Will you judge me, Oli?

I felt my cheeks flush red. This boy knew how to catch me off guard.

— N-no! No, of course not! — I panicked, not even noticing the strange things he was saying. — I… I was just surprised! I’ve never seen you like this before…

Fukase looked at me with a hint of hurt, but I didn’t dwell on it and hurried to question him:

— Wh-what is this place?! “Your dream world”? What does that mean? How did you drag me here?

— Oh, what an interrogation… — he muttered, lowering his head and puffing out his cheeks in mock offense. — How rude… And what about tea… don’t you want tea? Or would you rather something else?

I fell silent, staring at Fukase in bewilderment, but still agreed to tea, figuring that over tea he would explain everything. Fukase beamed and, grabbing my hand, dragged me straight into the house. Point, who had been watching us all this time, stayed outside.

Inside the little house it was cozy and pleasant, with plants everywhere. On a table near the little kitchen stood a vase holding a few pink flowers — beautiful and delicate, but somehow… withering? They looked tired… as though they’d been here too long.

— Sit down! — said Fukase, grabbing a teapot, which apparently already held hot water — maybe preheated, or maybe it had simply always been hot… after all, this was a dream. — Here, black with lemon, just how you like it!

I sat at the table as Fukase poured water into a cup and handed it to me, then filled his own. He sat across from me and sipped a bit of tea, as though it weren’t even hot.

— Welcome, Oliver. You’re in my dream world! — he said with a smile, setting his cup down and picking a few strawberries from a small saucer on the table. — I trust you, Oliver, and I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but I didn’t know how… please, listen to me. You see, Flower and I didn’t flee from my old country for nothing… the people there were very, very conservative. We came here because they would never have let us live — my mother was a witch… they burned her. — he suddenly dropped, his voice calm, as though saying such a thing was perfectly ordinary. — Don’t pinch your arms, you won’t wake up that way. I’m not joking, Oliver… please, believe me! I brought you here to tell you everything… I’m afraid to speak about this where others might hear…

— I… I don’t quite understand what your mother and you have to do with… with dreams? — I asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

— Oh, there’s nothing so mysterious! It’s a ritual; actually anyone with the knowledge could do it… entering your own inner dream world isn’t hard — you draw that pattern from the book on yourself, and that’s it. If you want to let someone else into your dream — you draw on them, and they draw a little detail on you! Ordinary people just don’t know about it, but witches pass the knowledge down through generations. Before she died, my mother released her last strength, sending me a charge of energy with all her knowledge. That’s how I inherited it all and became a “witch” too, ha-ha! I don’t have inner magic, but I have knowledge and spells… though… I mostly just like to play with dreams! I’m afraid other abilities are too noticeable, and I don’t want to die… when the knowledge was passed to me, that’s when I got all my burns. The pain was hellish — I’d have rather been burned alive…

I simply listened in silence, eyes wide, understanding nothing… witches, spells — it was all absurd! But… then again… maybe that’s why he doesn’t speak about it publicly, afraid they’ll think he’s mad and lock him up… others might think that too…

— I… I don’t know what to say… — I admitted honestly, feeling a bit of fear. Maybe… this really was just a dream, in the simplest sense… if I woke up in the morning and remembered it alone, it would just be a dream — but if not — I’d have to believe it.

— You don’t need to say anything! Oliver… I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long… I was afraid to talk about it… — Kase said, lowering his head in apology. — I wanted to bring you here because I love you and I trust you… you see, the dream world isn’t just some pictures and fantasies… it’s your thoughts, your deepest feelings, your memories… it’s a whole subconscious! It’s all very personal, but I trust you — you’re my best friend. Here… here in the dreams, it can be fun… you can talk about anything you want, you can be whoever you want… please… let’s spend some time here together, and then, when we wake up, you’ll see it’s not just a dream!

At that I nodded in agreement… I suppose that was the only way to find out if it was true or not…

— Um… and is there an end… to this world? Or do you just stay in the same place all the time? — I asked, wanting to know more.

— Oh-ho, this world is ever-changing! It shifts with my thoughts, my emotions, my life… I can climb to the clouds, go explore caves! It’s like exploring myself… it’s fascinating… you can even enter dreams I’ve had before! You’ll like it! And then someday we can even go into your dream world! Isn’t that exciting?

He took my hands and looked at me with wonder, as though expecting the same wonder from me — but I looked at him with confusion and a little unease… it was strange, I couldn’t quite believe what he was saying, but what I saw around me and the feelings I experienced began to crack my skepticism… this world felt real, yet supernatural, as though I really was deep in a dream — so deep I no longer felt the outer world!

— You… you’re not very comfortable, I see? I dumped it all on you too suddenly… sorry… I thought… I just… I was scared to say it out there, outside, and now it all just spilled out. I acted selfishly, I should have told you first, and only then brought you here… — apologized Fukase, looking at me with regret.

— Um, no… no need to apologize… I’m just a little shocked, I… everything here is so unusual, and you… you look strange. I… I just… — I began to fumble for words, not wanting to upset Fukase, but before I could finish, he lowered his head, avoiding my gaze.

— Strange? — he repeated, letting go of my hands, and I noticed the flowers in the vase slowly drooping too, as if they felt sad along with him. — I… is it… is it because of my outfit? Because of the skirt…?

I stayed silent, unsure what to say… seeing Fukase in a skirt really was unusual, but more than that it was his whole appearance that startled me — his odd hair, the mix of the tall hat and bare feet… but the skirt clearly mattered most to him. Maybe he always wanted to dress like that, but didn’t allow himself, afraid of others? And now he trusted me enough to hope I’d accept him as he was…

— I just… I like dressing this way. Sorry… I can change into something normal if it makes you more comfortable being around me… — he said quietly, still not looking at me.

— No! — I exclaimed, not wanting my best friend to feel like he couldn’t even dress as he liked in his own dream world. I stood from my chair and grabbed his hands again, wanting to show how sincere I was. — I… I just didn’t expect to see you like this, but, I think… it looks really cute! The skirt suits you so much, it’s not that — it’s just that I’ve never seen you like this before, your hair for example — there are sparkles in it, and the tips are yellow! I… I like how you look, Fukase, you’re very cute!

Fukase flushed suddenly, his cheeks turning red, and he stared at me in shock, as though he hadn’t expected me to actually accept him…

I looked at him and couldn’t help but smile. His embarrassment, his confusion — it only made me feel warmer toward him. I couldn’t hold back and stepped closer, then hugged him tightly. For a moment he froze, as if not believing it was happening, but after a few seconds his arms wrapped around me in return. He pressed against me, resting his forehead on my shoulder, and I thought I felt him trembling a little.

— Thank you, Oli… — he said softly, and his voice sounded so sincere, so touching that my heart clenched. I had never seen him so vulnerable… it really felt like you could see his soul here.

At that moment I heard something strange behind us. Not a sharp sound — more a soft, muffled noise, as if something had gently exploded just beyond the wall. I wanted to turn and see what it was, but Fukase, sensing my movement, clung to me more tightly, not letting go.

I turned my head toward the table, and my gaze fell on the flowers in the vase. Those same withering flowers that had looked so sad before suddenly began to revive. The petals became fuller, brighter, as though someone had breathed new life into them. Maybe those flowers symbolized something very important to Fukase. Maybe his feelings, his inner world, something. But seeing them alive and beautiful filled me with real happiness…

— You have no idea how lucky I am to have you, Oliver… — whispered Fukase, still holding me. — You’re so kind… so understanding. I… I love you so much.

Those words — so simple, so real — made me freeze. My heart skipped a beat, then started pounding wildly. I felt heat rush to my cheeks. I was in love with him, but he didn’t know, he was saying it as a friend, right? I forced myself not to let it show, smiled, and gently pulled back to look him in the eyes.

— I love you too, Fukase! — I said honestly. — You’re my best friend. I’ll always accept you the way you are — as long as you’re happy!

His face turned a little pink, but joy lit up in his eyes again. He squeezed my hands and seemed to sigh with relief. Then he smiled — such a happy, warm smile that it made me even happier to be there with him.

— Then let’s go… — he said, grabbing my hand. — I want to show you the most important places in this world, I want to share it with you. I think you’ll like it! We’ll start with the theater. Then maybe that place with the swings — there’s a little meadow in the forest where I make all sorts of interesting clothes, though I’m not sure if that would interest you, so we’ll see… but first, the theater! This place… is a little special to me!

I nodded, agreeing, though I wasn’t sure what to expect. We left the unfinished tea on the table and stepped outside. Fukase held my hand tightly, and I didn’t pull away. It was a strange feeling, but it felt good to be next to him.

When we stepped out, I stopped, stunned. The garden around the house had changed. The trees that had been blue-green before were now pink. The thick green leaves had become sparse, and everything else was covered in pink flowers. The whole scene seemed bathed in a rosy light. It was incredibly beautiful and gentle.

I remembered that strange sound I’d heard when hugging Fukase. Maybe it had been a signal that something here was changing? I wanted to ask him, but looking at his radiant face, I decided to keep quiet. I didn’t want to spoil the moment.

Soon Fukase smirked and we continued on, down the path, the green leaves beneath our feet now replaced with pink petals. There were no more changes around, just here by the house everything had turned pink… was that good or bad — I didn’t know. I didn’t know what those colors meant to him… maybe pink was something sincere, beautiful for him, or maybe not. Perhaps it was too personal — I didn’t want to ask. Better to let him tell me himself if it mattered to him…

Holding hands, we soon reached the theater, and Point — who had been waiting outside all this time — quietly followed behind.

The theater we approached was bright, beautiful, and refined, full of details. It didn’t look like a typical theater — more like something from a child’s imagination… but then, we were children, just twelve and thirteen, so it wasn’t surprising that in Fukase’s mind the theater looked just like this.

We approached the theater, and I looked at the building with curiosity. It was refined, as if woven from fantasies: carved columns adorned with star patterns, massive doors, stained glass windows through which soft light spilled. The theater seemed straight out of a fairy tale, but at the same time there was something childlike, simple, and cozy about it. It was smaller than the theaters I’d seen in the real world, but that only made it more charming.

— I’ve always wanted to perform for people… — Fukase said thoughtfully, stopping at the top step and gazing at the doors. — You know, to stand on stage, sing or act. Or better yet, show off in a beautiful outfit in front of everyone. I wanted to create clothes and show their beauty on myself… I wanted people to notice my talents and my beauty… But… — he fell silent, lowering his eyes. — But that’s unlikely… — he gave a faint, sad smile. — You know yourself how people look at anyone even a little different from them. Even if my burns don’t scare them, my image… — he glanced down at himself and ran a hand over the skirt. — I doubt they could ever accept it. And I’d like to be accepted as I really am…

I was about to object, but he didn’t let me.

 — I’ve already seen how it goes, Oli. My mother… they didn’t accept her. They burned her alive just for being different, because they thought she was dangerous. I always wonder: what if they burn me one day too? Just because I don’t want to be like everyone else… maybe even without knowing about my magic, they’d see me as a danger — as a threat to their order and morals…

I felt as if someone had poured ice water over me. It was too cruel, too terrifying to be true, but looking at Fukase, I knew he was serious. I was scared, because I’d never seen him have thoughts like these before — this was something only here, in this dream… it felt so strange and frightening to me.

— No one’s going to burn you! — I exclaimed, trying to sound confident. — You don’t even show magic, nothing like that. Just wearing a skirt or being a little different — that’s not a crime! I heard that children used to be dressed in dresses all the time!

— But it’s not that time now… It’s not a crime, but for people — it’s enough to think you’re insane… — he answered softly, looking away. — If you’re not like them, they start to fear you. And fear is the most dangerous thing you can awaken in someone.

I fell silent, not knowing what to say. The words stuck in my throat. Maybe he was right. The world is unfair, people always fear what they don’t understand. But I admired what Fukase was. His uniqueness, his courage with himself, he embraced his own interests and wasn’t ashamed of himself, though it would have been nice if he weren’t so afraid of other people’s opinions. I wondered how the world would change if everyone dared to step outside the lines. If no one were afraid to be different… maybe the world would become freer. Fukase could be one of those who push it forward…

— All right, enough with the sad stuff… — Fukase interrupted my thoughts, pushing open the massive doors of the theater. — Come on, I want to show you what the stage of my world looks like. Maybe you’ll like it… it’s pretty cool…

We entered, and the first thing I noticed was the bright corridor. Huge stained-glass windows let in plenty of light, making the space warm and inviting. The floor was tiled, and the walls were lined with paintings depicting scenes, I assumed, from Fukase’s dreams — all fantastical, impossible landscapes. I stopped to look at the paintings, but Fukase didn’t let me linger, tugging my hand forward.

We stepped into the main hall, and everything changed. The hall was much darker than the corridor. Only a few beams of light illuminated the center of the stage. The theater was small, reminding me of children’s performances. On the stage lay countless pillows of all colors and sizes, scattered chaotically. In some places ribbons hung, and around the edge of the stage floated small glowing orbs, lighting the space with a soft, almost fairy-tale glow.

But what struck me most was the audience. In all the seats sat dolls. They were human-sized, dressed in different outfits, with meticulously crafted hair and faces. Some looked clearly inanimate, sitting quietly and staring at the stage, while others looked in other directions. I couldn’t help but feel a chill down my spine. It was strange and even eerie.

— They… they look scary… — I admitted, unable to take my eyes off one of the dolls.

Fukase chuckled softly.

— They’re just my audience. In this world all living people are like that. They’re not dangerous, they just sit and watch. Each of them has their own emotions, their own character — these are people from reality, the way I knew and know them…

—  Living people? — I looked at him, then back at the dolls.

— My mother’s here too… but she doesn’t look like a doll, she looks human…

Fukase pointed to a corner where there was a chair — set apart from the others, a little larger, its back reclined. In the chair, in a half-reclining position, lay a young woman… she had long pink hair, no wrinkles on her face, she looked neat and well-kept. That was Fukase’s mother; I’d never seen her before, but it was obvious. She just slept there, not reacting to anything.

— That’s… oh… — I started, but, finding no words, fell silent again.

— She doesn’t wake… she just lies there and sleeps. I think it’s because I know she’s dead and simply can’t imagine her as alive… Maybe if I thought of her differently, she could be alive here… but I accept her death, I’ve already let her go… — Fukase said, looking at the woman with sadness but also a kind of detachment… though that wasn’t surprising — two years had passed since her death, and he’d probably grown used to it. Besides, from what he’d said, she hadn’t spent much time with him anyway. — Asterian and Flower aren’t here, if you’re wondering… they’re at the house where we were. In the garden, to be exact… they love tending the flowers, that’s what brought them close, as I told you…

Fukase took my hand again and led me toward the stage, but I could no longer see this world as something simple — everything felt so symbolic now that I couldn’t help but ask:

— Why aren’t they here? Would they be dolls too?

— Yes, like dolls… they’re not here because… — he fell silent for a moment, guiding me onto the stage and glancing out at the audience. — Because I feel more ashamed before them than before these people. I don’t want them watching me when I perform… I love performing, but… I’m not sure…

— Oh, what are you saying? Why wouldn’t you want…? Do you think they’d judge you?

— I think I’d disappoint them… Flo always protected me, I don’t want to disappoint her with who I really am, even though in this world I walk before her and Asterian in a dress. Asterian is so kind to me, so understanding — I’m really just a burden to him, yet he’s so sweet… so I’m afraid to show all of myself to him too… I don’t want to be an even greater burden. — he admitted honestly, his grip on my hand tightening just slightly.

— You care too much about what others think, Fukase! — I exclaimed, frustrated. I loved Fukase, I didn’t want my beloved friend constantly worrying about what others thought of him! Yes, some of it he did for his own safety, but here, here where nothing was real, he still feared it! — What does it matter? They’re all no one!

— Well, not no one… There’s Len — my old school friend from my previous town, who once mocked me for being so awestruck by his sister’s clothes… there's some kids from the school I went to before I moved! Over there — familiar adults, there — Asterian’s friends… they are not “no one”… — he said, pointing to some of the dolls.

— That’s not what I mean! — I interrupted him. — You should think about yourself first! Shame? What shame? Being yourself is important and beautiful — any sane person would be glad that someone they care about is at peace with themselves, as long as that peace doesn’t hurt anyone!

Fukase fell silent for a while, then stepped aside, and when he looked back at me, there was something sly in his eyes as he extended his hand to me, bowing slightly as if inviting me to dance…

— Well then, since you don’t care about what others think — dance with me in front of all these people!

I blushed at his proposal, feeling something tighten inside me, but despite my discomfort at the stares of those eerie dolls, I gave him my hand, trying to ignore the surroundings.

Fukase stepped closer, his hand gently yet confidently taking mine, his other hand resting on my shoulder. I stood still, trying to hide my embarrassment behind a calm face. Everything inside me tensed, and my heart seemed to beat its own defiant rhythm. Those eerie dolls in the audience stared at us, some slowly turning their heads to follow our every move. I wanted to look away from their gaze, but Fukase squeezed my hand lightly, pulling my attention back to him.

— Relax… — he whispered with a faint smile, his voice so calm, as if nothing unusual was happening. — You don’t know how to dance, do you? Then trust me…

Somewhere above, a playful yet calm melody began to play… I didn’t understand how — there was no one above us — but then I remembered this was just a dream, and things worked differently here. Fukase took the first step, gently pulling me along. I followed, barely keeping my balance. His movements were smooth and light, as if he floated above the stage. He led me with confidence, and though I tried my best not to falter, my steps felt heavy and clumsy.

We spun across the stage. Fukase would turn, letting go of me, but in those moments I froze, unsure what to do next. I lacked the confidence — I’d only ever danced at school, and even then it hadn’t interested me. I looked at my partner helplessly, trying to understand what to do, but he just smiled, took my hand again, and pulled me along.

— Just trust me, Oli! — he repeated, his voice so gentle that for a moment I forgot about the dolls in the hall.

Every one of his movements seemed perfect, his body following a melody only he could hear. He twirled me around, stepped back, then came back to me without ever letting go of my hand. His confidence was calming, and I began to feel the tension ease a little. He was so light, so natural, as though dancing was simply part of his world — and maybe it was. It seemed I didn’t know everything about him…

At one point he stepped closer, his hand sliding to my waist, his gaze locking on mine. He was so close, his touch warm and careful. My heart started pounding too fast again, and I froze, unsure what to do. It was beautiful. It was unusual. It was too much for me…

And then a quiet laugh came from the audience. Solitary, as if from a corner where one doll couldn’t hold back. Then others joined in. They laughed softly, as though whispering, but their voices sounded like mockery, like ridicule. I turned my head toward them and saw some of the dolls, sitting in their chairs, swaying slightly as if laughing, exchanging glances.

The smile disappeared from Fukase’s face instantly. He stepped back, then again, letting go of my hand. His gaze darkened, his shoulders slumped, and he turned away from me, staring at the floor.

— Sorry… I… I got carried away. — he said quietly, his voice barely audible.

I stood in the middle of the stage, feeling embarrassed, as if a wave had burned my skin. The dolls kept laughing softly, whispering. It was unpleasant, but… what could they mean? They were just his thoughts. Just dolls… but for Fukase they weren’t dolls — they were people, people he knew… and he thought they would laugh at him for showing his true feelings…

I clenched my teeth and, swallowing my embarrassment, stepped forward. I came up behind Kase and took his hand. He flinched at the unexpected touch but didn’t turn around.

— Fukase… — I called him quietly, gently pulling his hand so he’d face me. When his eyes finally met mine, I squeezed his palm tighter. — They don’t matter. Let them laugh. It doesn’t change anything. You’re beautiful, Fukase, and your dance was just as beautiful… I… I mean, our dance! Maybe it seemed strange to them — two boys dancing like that, ha-ha — but so what? The important thing is that we felt good, right?

His lips trembled, like he wanted to say something, but instead he just squeezed my hand back and turned his head away again.

— What matters is that you liked it… I… I know it’s hard to feel that way, you… I know you want to meet others’ expectations, I feel that too… I often feel it… but you can’t live like that! — I went on, carefully keeping hold of his hand. — You have to think about yourself… you only get one life, and you have to live it for you ! Do what makes you happy! If it doesn’t hurt anyone — then what does it matter? — I said passionately, though inside I scolded myself because I rarely followed my own advice. — If others don’t want to accept you — that’s their problem, you don’t have to dance to their tune! Don’t worry so much about what others feel, everything you do doesn’t harm anyone, so your feelings should come first! Kase, please, listen… I accept you and I love you just as you are… you’re a wonderful person, kind, sweet, and beautiful! You’re beautiful just the way you are !

Fukase glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, and that was enough for me to see his eyes welling up… I’d never seen him cry before. He noticed my worried look, our eyes met, and then the light above us flickered as if he were trying to… snuff it out, afraid to let me see his feelings…

— S-sorry… — Fukase muttered, turning toward me and falling to his knees. — I… I look pathetic, I’m sorry…

— Don’t say that! — I exclaimed, kneeling too and taking his hands. — You don’t look pathetic! I… I really admire sincerity, and I respect men who aren’t afraid to show their weaknesses! I wish I could do the same — staying silent is always so hard! I really, really want to see the real you, you’re so amazing!

Kase lowered his head, then pressed it to my chest, wrapping his arms tightly around my back. I, in turn, hugged his shoulders and gently stroked his bright curls.

The light in the room suddenly went out, and everything was plunged into darkness… I flinched at that — I never liked the dark — but it seemed to calm Fukase, because his breathing grew steady and his body stopped shaking.

— Oliver… — he whispered, his voice trembling and hoarse, and then the light slowly returned — but I kept my eyes on Fukase, noticing nothing else. — I love you, Oliver…

I probably would’ve blushed at those words in normal circumstances, but now they didn’t feel romantic — to me, they were just platonic, and I simply smiled sincerely.

— I love you too… it’s okay, Fukase… I’m here, always here! — I said with a smile, gently stroking his back.

Fukase let go of me and slowly stood up, still not lifting his head, and I rose with him. I saw his legs trembling — it looked like he’d been drained from all the tension. Wiping his eyes with his hand, he finally raised his gaze to me… his lips curved into a gentle smile, and his eyes, still wet and teary, shone with gratitude. He looked vulnerable — but also so gentle and sweet at the same time.

I blushed at the sight of him and looked away… and finally noticed that in the hall, only Fukase’s sleeping mother remained in the far corner — the dolls had all vanished, and in their seats now grew flowers and grass, with little butterflies fluttering around.

Butterflies — symbols of freedom and lightness, of transformation… Could it mean that Fukase’s feelings had become freer, lighter? That they’d transformed from something heavy and oppressive into something light and free? That’s where my thoughts settled — I didn’t feel it was right to ask. If it was important to him, he would tell me himself — after all, tonight he’d already shared so many secrets, trusted me with so much. I think now he really did trust me deeply.

Fukase sniffled, drawing my attention back to him. He looked at me for a moment in silence, then suddenly lunged forward and knocked me off my feet, and we both tumbled into a heap of pillows behind us. Kase hugged me tight and started laughing and giggling happily, kicking his legs like a child…

His laughter was the kind that comes when something good happens — the kind that makes you want to bury yourself in blankets and hug pillows, biting them out of sheer joy. I was so happy to hear that kind of laugh from him… so sweet, so tender.

— I adore you! — he cried out loudly and happily, lying on top of me, his chin resting on my chest. — I love you more than anyone in the world! Really, really!

Now my cheeks flushed again… the atmosphere was too intimate — everything felt so personal and secret. We lay on soft, warm pillows, and Fukase was lying directly on me — it felt unreal… like something that could only happen in a dream.

— Everything’s so… unreal… — I murmured, placing my hand on his head and gently stroking his curls.

His face suddenly turned bright red and he jumped to his feet, glancing around. His gaze first fell on Point, standing at the edge of the stage, then on his mother lying in the corner. He shook his head and reached out a hand to help me up.

— I… I can’t… I want to say something… or rather… — he began to stammer, his eyes darting around. — Let’s go to the tree, I want to tell you something there… I need… some privacy, that’s all… come on… Point, you stay here!

I looked at Kase, puzzled, but I had no reason to refuse — so I gave him my hand, he pulled me up, and still holding my hand, he led me toward t he exit from the theater.

Soon we were outside, and the bright light stung my eyes — but as they adjusted, I noticed it was already evening here… I thought it would always be daytime in this world, but apparently time could change.

— It’s evening already… — I said softly, lo oking at the sky, where the clouds glowed yellow and pink in the sunlight.

— Ah… yes! Even here the time of day can change… and the seasons too. But it depends on deep feelings. For me it’s always summer, but the time of day changes — for my sister it’s always morning, no summer or autumn, but there’s winter and early spring! — explained Fukase as he started pulling me toward the lake. — Someday I’ll tell Asterian everything and visit his dream! I’m so curious what it’s like! And one day I’ll visit your dream too!

— Oh, um… okay… — I mumbled, though I didn’t dwell on it — I clearly wasn’t ready to let anyone into the “depths of my mind,” not even Fukase.

Finally I tore my eyes from the sky and looked at the lake and the tree… and once again, everything had changed. The enormous tree on the little island in the middle of the lake was now like the ones in the garden at Fukase’s house — its flowers had turned pink… petals were drifting down in the soft breeze, floating serenely across the water. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

It seemed that for Fukase, the color pink meant something important — as if it was the color of his soul, his truest feelings. Such a great tree couldn’t be meaningless — especially since it stood at the very center of the world. And now that it was blooming in the color of Fukase’s true feelings — it was beautiful.

Finally, Fukase and I walked down the hill and ended up right at the water’s edge, blue and glimmering in the sunlight. The truth was, I didn’t really like water — it made me nervous… it gave me this anxious feeling… I didn’t even like washing because of it, though of course I still had to.

— It’s not deep here, don’t worry! — Fukase said with a smile, then stepped into the water. And indeed, at first it really wasn’t deep. — Don’t worry, I know where it gets deep and where it doesn’t. See, here there’s a path — you can tell because the water’s a little lighter.

He kept holding my hand and tried to lead me into the water, but I didn’t move, not trusting it… even though this was just a dream.

— Um… I just… don’t feel very comfortable… I don’t like water, you know that… — I said softly, carefully letting go of Fukase’s hand and pressing it to my chest.

Fukase looked at me, puzzled, but then his expression shifted — realization and a hint of pity flashed in his eyes. He quickly stepped back out of the water, then hitched up the hem of his skirt and ran off, calling only “wait here.”

I didn’t have time to react, so I just obediently stood there by the lake, waiting for him to come back.

I didn’t have to wait long — he returned just a couple of minutes later, holding a huge green leaf in his hands. He walked to the water and laid the leaf down on the surface like a little boat. Then, offering me his hand, he helped me sit on the leaf, staying in the water himself. He handed me a long blade of grass he’d also brought, and when I grabbed it, he began pulling the boat with it, like a sled.

It was so unusual… I’d never ridden on a boat or a ship before, and this was a leaf , which made it even more magical. I actually liked it.

The little waves that rippled from Fukase’s movements made the boat gently rock, but it didn’t feel unpleasant — it was more like being on a rocking horse for little kids. Either way, it was lovely…

Soon Fukase pulled the boat up to the shore by the great tree and helped me climb out. We walked to the magnificent pink tree — petals fell from it softly, and tender flowers grew beneath it… everything felt so romantic.

— Y-you… you… wait here for me… — Fukase said, his voice trembling and his face flushed, pointing to a spot under the tree. I just nodded, and he ran to the other side of the island, behind the tree. It was wide enough that I could have peeked, but I didn’t — I waited patiently.

I waited and waited… and at last he came back and stood right in front of me. In his hands was a small bouquet of flowers, some green leaves, and… tiny glowing stars? They looked like they’d been stuck to the flowers and leaves… it looked magical.

Fukase flushed even redder and shoved the bouquet into my chest, avoiding my gaze. I couldn’t do anything but accept it.

— Oliver, I… tonight I… I…! — he started loudly but falteringly. — Listen… — he suddenly grabbed my hand. — We’ve known each other a long time and I… I realized I have… really strong feelings for you and… they’re not right! But… t-tonight, in this dream, you accepted me and I… I want to tell you something else important, you understand? And… and I’ll understand if you don’t like it, just… let’s stay friends even if you don’t feel the same, okay? I… I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to hide it anymore…

I looked at him, confused and intrigued, still holding his hand… and because of how raw his emotions were, my cheeks warmed. I squeezed his hand tighter and took a step closer, wanting to hear clearly what he was struggling to say… I loved him, and I’d accept him no matter what.

— I’ll always accept you, Fufu… because I love you! — I said with a sincere smile, which made Kase blush even deeper.

— I… I had to say it! — he suddenly cried out angrily, looking at me with something like hurt. — It’s… I love you, Ollie!

I stayed quiet, unsure what to say… In the context of what was happening, he must have meant romantically, but… could it really be? Could it really be that the feelings I had for him — he felt for me too?

— I know people would judge us… sorry… but I… I’ve felt this way for a year and I wanted to tell you here, where no one can hear. S-sorry if you don’t feel the same, I understand… I know this might be awkward, sorry… — he said, stepping back and loosening his grip on my hand. — I… I love you, Ollie… r-romantically… you understand? Sorry, I…

— Oh… — the soft sound escaped me before I even realized, and Fukase froze, terrified of my reaction. — I… I didn’t think this was possible…

— I-it’s just… it happens… it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, it’s just… it happens, ha-ha… I know boys aren’t supposed to love boys! Just, you see… — he panicked, looking away.

— No, I meant… — I hesitated, not knowing how to phrase it calmly. — I didn’t think it was possible that my feelings would be returned…

Fukase fell silent again, and I bit my lip, surprised that I’d said such a thing… I had just confessed my feelings. It was so… embarrassing! God, please let this all just be an ordinary dream! Please let it not be real! I’m such an idiot!

— You… you l-love me? — Fukase asked quietly, shyly, suddenly grabbing my shoulders.

— Y-yes, Fukase… I love you… — I admitted softly, feeling my cheeks burning even hotter.

Fukase’s eyes lit up, sparkling with delight. At first he started bouncing in place, not knowing what to do with his emotions, and then he suddenly leapt at me, knocking me down into the flowers and grass. He hugged me tight and started squealing softly with joy and happiness, kicking his legs.

— Really?! Really really?! You’re serious, Oliver, really?! — he squealed, squirming from side to side.

— Y-yes! Yes, really-really! — I laughed at his silly behavior, trying to loosen the grip he had around me.

— I… I love you, Ollie! I love you! — Kase cried loudly, hugging me even tighter.

After a while his emotions calmed and he carefully let go of me, though he still held my hands. I sat up from where I’d been lying in the grass, and he lowered his head like a scolded child before pressing his face against my chest, hiding it.

— It should’ve been more romantic… — he mumbled, hugging me from behind.

— What? I think it was as romantic as it gets! At least for twelve-year-olds, ha-ha! — I laughed, stroking his curls.

He raised his head, looking me in the eye, then leaned in and gently pecked my cheek, making my heart race.

— Thank you, Oliver… — Kase said softly, resting his head on my shoulder. — Thank you… I love you… you’ve done so much for me… you mean so much to me…! Oli-Oli, my sweet, sweet Oli!

At his embarrassing words I only laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. I felt so happy… I hadn’t felt this warm and comfortable in so long. I was so glad that my feelings, so wrong and painful, turned out to be mutual. I was so glad I could help Fukase through his fears… I was happy that he was happy.

From such peace and serenity I closed my eyes, savoring only the feelings… and suddenly I woke up.

I woke up in my warm bed. Falling asleep inside the dream — I had left it without even wanting to. Ah, if I had known — I would’ve done everything I could to keep myself from falling asleep…

— Oh… — I whispered, sitting up in bed. — Mmm… eh… it must’ve just been a dream…

— Oliveeer… — came Fukase’s sweet little voice suddenly from the window, and I turned my head and met his eyes.

He looked as though… as though his very soul was glowing… his smile was so pleased.

— You slept so long after you fell asleep in the dream, ha-ha!

— F-Fukase! — I exclaimed, trying to get out of bed, but he didn’t give me time to react.

Fukase pulled himself up through the open window and slipped into my room… standing in front of me in a dramatic pose, as though showing himself off. And there was something to show: he — or rather, his outfit — looked different. At his collar was tied a red ribbon tie, and instead of his usual pants, he wore a long, dark red skirt. He looked unbelievably cute… and so sincere and free…

— This… this wasn’t a dream… — I whispered under my breath, not believing what I was seeing — Fukase standing there, looking just like that.

Hearing my words, Fukase giggled softly, then came over and, leaning down, gently pecked my cheek, making me blush… It felt so real and unreal at the same time. Real — because everything felt more real than it had in that dream, and unreal — because it all felt so magical and enchanting…

— Kase…

— Oli! — Fufu interrupted me, smiling brightly and looking at me with gratitude. — Thank you for everything… Let’s keep dreaming together from now on, okay?

To be continued…

Chapter Text

Warm chords softly spread through the room, weaving into the heavy, slightly dusty curtains, settling on the dark wood of the furniture, touching the edge of my consciousness — almost like a physical touch. These sounds sank deeper than seemed possible, wrapping around me like a thin silk blanket. Garijus's fingers glided across the keys, creating a melody that could lull even a storm to sleep.

I opened my eyes, slowly returning from slumber. The world before me took shape gradually: the ceiling with its delicate but sparse molding, pale yellow wallpaper patterned with various designs, a soft couch I was sinking into like a cloud. The music didn't stop, and in the silence between the piano notes, I could hear the steady ticking of the grandfather clock standing in the corner.

Garijus Pijonis sat at the piano not far from the couch. His back was straight, but his movements were relaxed. His dark hair, not quite reaching his shoulders but covering his ears, hid his gaze from me. Through my still-groggy eyes, I could make out the calm look on my teacher's face and the same gentle smile. He always smiled — not just with his mouth, but with his whole presence. Around his neck, a bright bow tie with a multicolored pattern stood out vividly. He always wore those, and I knew almost all of them had been sewn by his friend Morta Kaste, another Lithuanian.

— Good morning, sleepyhead... — he said without turning around, clearly noticing I had woken up. — I mean, good evening, a-ha-ha!

— Sorry, I... fell asleep again... — my voice came out a bit hoarse as I sat up awkwardly, smoothing my hair.

— Ah, don't apologize, Oliver... — Garijus chuckled softly, and the piano fell silent. He stood up lightly and gracefully, his movements full of careless charm. — My music has a way of lulling people your age to sleep... and older too... depending on the listener's mood, of course!

I lowered my gaze, trying to hide my embarrassment. Around Garijus I wanted to seem more mature, more composed — like Hio... He always tried to be the perfect student, respectful of his teacher, because what he feared most was disappointing the people he loved, and the teacher was far from the least of them. I didn't want my brother to be disappointed in me either, so I tried to act with the teacher like he did.

— What time is it...? — I looked at the large grandfather clock, its brass pendulum swinging slowly, ticking off the seconds. It was already half past eight in the evening...

— Time to say goodbye? — Garijus sighed and, without waiting for my reply, collapsed onto the couch next to me, so close I could feel his warmth. His head gently rested on my shoulder, and I froze, unsure of what to do.

His hair lightly tickled my cheek, but I simply sat still and silent, letting the sound of the ticking clock fill the pause between our words. Garijus was always rather tactile... that wasn't really accepted here, but he often said that in Lithuania people were more relaxed about touch, though it still wasn't considered appropriate for a guy and a girl to talk too "friendly." Yet he continued to be very tactile with them — with girls... or rather, with one girl — with Morta. He was tactile with those he loved, those he trusted. And she never minded; in fact, sometimes she would kiss him on the cheek when saying goodbye, and there was never anything between them besides friendship... It was strange for me at first, but I got used to it, and it even started to seem sweet... Garijus was so sincere...

— Listen, Oliver... — the teacher said quietly, pulling back slightly and placing his hands on my shoulders. — You've got your final exams tomorrow, right? Graduating from prep school, going on to private school, and all that... You're really anxious, huh? And with everything going on... it's hard to take exams on a day like this... Maybe your parents asked to reschedule them for you?

I looked at him in confusion, and he gave a sheepish smile, like he wasn't sure how to explain his sudden concern.

— I... I've already taken my exams... — I said honestly, leaning away from Garijus a bit. — It's already mid-June... I'm just waiting on the results now, but I don't think I'm worried... I didn't pass math, I'm sure, but everything else should be fine...

Garijus went silent, staring at me in surprise...

— Oh... sorry, it's just... Hio had his on the 17th last year... and the 17th is tomorrow... I completely forgot his school had a different schedule, plus he was already in his final year back then. — Mr. Pijonis said, almost apologetically, turning his eyes away and letting go of my shoulders. — In any case... if something's bothering you — don't worry, everything will be fine, no matter the results, alright? Everything will be fine!

— I told you, I'm not worried... — I replied shyly, not wanting Garijus to worry about me.

The man went quiet again, watching me with disbelief and obvious concern...

— I... I get why you're worried, but I really am fine! — I said with a smile, scooting a little closer, hoping it would calm him down. — Let's drop the subject... I... I should probably go now...

— Yes... you're right... — the man said, sounding far too drained, getting up from the couch, and I followed. — It's already pretty late, it really would be better for you to head home...

— Yeah... — I replied simply. — Um... Dad said we'll be leaving the house around 11 tomorrow... so if you want, come by then...

The man fell silent again, looking at me with an expression like he hadn't expected to hear "something like that" from me, though I hadn't said anything special... he crossed his arms over his chest, like shielding himself, and then his lip twitched nervously, as if some emotion was trying to break out, but he couldn't allow himself to show it in front of me...

— Na ir kas čia vyksta? — came a pleasant, adult female voice from behind me... Turning around, I saw Morta in the doorway between the hallway and the living room we were in. She had a way of moving utterly silently, so it wasn't surprising we hadn't heard her come in. The phrase she said wasn't one I understood... Morta often spoke Lithuanian with Garijus... and not just with him — when she got emotional, she often switched to her native language.

— M-Morta...! — Garijus exclaimed when he saw his friend, the smile returning to his face. — You showed up as quietly as always, sweetheart!

— You were both lost in your thoughts, that's why you didn't notice... — the girl muttered under her breath, clearly displeased by her friend's distressed expression... displeased because she was worried... these two cared about each other deeply — if one of them sounded sad or looked down, the other started worrying right away.

Morta came closer and, standing right next to us, placed one hand on her friend's shoulder and the other on my head.

— Go home, Oliver... I'll stay with Garijus. — Miss Kaste said, pulling the pianist close. It was obvious she didn't just want to talk — she wanted, first and foremost, to calm her anxious friend... no matter how cheerful and carefree the teacher seemed — no one can hold up forever...

— Right... excuse me, goodbye... — I said calmly, bowing in apology before grabbing my bag from the couch and heading out.

Entering the hallway, I turned back one last time and saw the teacher leaning his head against his friend, as if trying to calm himself by listening to her breathing and heartbeat. She placed her elegant hand gently on his shoulder, beginning to stroke it softly...

Not wanting to intrude any longer, I quickly left the pianist's house, stepping out onto the bright street. Garijus lived not far from my home, about two kilometers away, but I didn't want to linger, so I walked at a brisk pace. I just wanted to be home... I wanted to lie in bed and rest, think about nothing...

The mark that allowed me to enter Fukase's dream world had recently faded from my arm. Fukase had said they only lasted for fifteen days, then had to be redrawn, but we had both decided to take a break from our "nightly conversations" for a while. I liked walking through Fukase's dream world, but I really needed some rest and solitude...

There was always something to do in the dream world — for a while, we only stayed in the very center of Fukase's consciousness, and then we started venturing into separate dream worlds that Fukase had seen once before. They were quite surreal, but I liked that... everything I'd seen in dreams over the past year had been some sort of nightmare I couldn't even remember, so I enjoyed exploring those vivid and strange dreams.

As for the real world — Fukase kept wearing what he loved... Skirts suited him so well! My family was a bit taken aback when they first saw him like that, but they eventually understood. Besides, Ruby herself sometimes liked wearing things that didn't match her gender, and our mom and dad were understanding and accepting of her, so why not also accept Fukase's love for skirts and dresses? Flower, Fukase's sister, was fairly neutral about it — she rarely showed emotion at all... or maybe I just couldn't see them because I was a little afraid of her — she was so tall and cold. Asterian, contrary to Fukase's fears, was totally okay with it. He'd said, "People who break stereotypes are the future. The world shouldn't stand still!" and that wasn't a surprising reaction from him — not only was he a kind soul who didn't even eat meat out of compassion for animals, but he was also dark-skinned and knew what it felt like to be rejected for something beyond your control, and how hard it was to keep going despite society's skepticism and disapproval. In any case, I was very happy that the people close to him were able to accept him... What else is needed?

Suddenly, I felt someone's strong arms grab me under the armpits and lift me into the air, leaving me speechless for a moment... I already knew who it was... my dad loved doing that.

— And who's this walking home so late, huh? — my father asked with a smile, sitting me on his broad shoulder. Even though he worked with his brain rather than his hands, he was incredibly strong and big.

— Oh, good evening, Al... — I replied quietly, shrinking a bit from being up so high... I still sometimes called him by name instead of "dad," because I hadn't gotten used to it yet — he worked a lot, and we didn't get much time to talk. That's how it was for many families — dads worked, and moms took care of things, so I didn't even think of complaining. — It's not that late... the sun's still out.

— Yeah, but usually you're home by this time. — he chuckled, walking toward the house with me on his shoulder. — Stayed a little too long at Mr. Pijonis's place?

— Yeah, I dozed off...

— Got it. Will he be coming with us tomorrow? I think Hio would've liked that...

— I... I told him the time we'd be leaving, but he didn't say anything back... Maybe he needs time to gather his strength for it. He only went there once, a year ago... — I replied uncertainly, trying to remember whether the teacher had responded at all to my invitation.

— Alright, I understand... Maika won't be coming either, she said she'd go alone in the evening... — Dad said as he opened the gate to our house. — That's okay... everything will be alright. Are you hungry?

— Nah, I ate before the lesson. I don't have school anymore, so I've got plenty of time now...

— Ah, right... I forgot your school is over. I promise, I'll take some time off and spend more time with you guys — I've been forgetting everything lately, ha-ha! — Dad set me down on the ground and ruffled my hair with his strong hand, and then we went into the house.

Inside, it was eerily quiet — it usually wasn't like this... maybe Mom had gone out? And Ruby? She wouldn't be staying the night with her girlfriend today of all days — Mom definitely wouldn't feel good if we weren't around her, under her care.

— He-ey, we're home! — Dad called out loudly as he closed the door behind us, but there was no reply. I saw concern appear on his face as he quickly headed for the stairs. — Stay here...

I obeyed and stayed in the hallway, waiting for him to return... I guess the silence and the unlocked door made him uneasy and suspicious. It made me feel uneasy too — a year ago I had also been silent at a time I shouldn't have...

But soon Al came back down, calm and clearly relieved. He walked over to me and crouched down, as if to "talk to me on my level."

— They're alright, they fell asleep in Hio's room. You go get some sleep too... wash up, feed James, and go to bed. Try not to make noise, let them rest — tomorrow's going to be a tough day... I'll fix myself something to eat and head to bed too.

— Ah, okay... got it... — I said, nodding. — Goodnight then.

Al nodded and, giving me a gentle hug, stood up and went to the kitchen to prepare himself a late dinner. I, in turn, exhaled, pushing away the lingering tension, and headed upstairs to my room. Once again, I stopped at the door, staring at the one to Hio's room... I wanted to go in, but I was always so clumsy — the last thing I needed was to wake up Mom, so I just sighed heavily and went into my room, wanting to lie down as soon as possible, to fall asleep as soon as possible, to wake up as soon as possible, to skip tomorrow as soon as possible and return to my usual life... but someone was waiting for me there, having snuck in through the open window. Red-haired, red-eyed, and, as always, in a beautiful skirt.

— Oliver! — came Fukase's loud and cheerful voice, and then he jumped down from my bed and ran up to me, wanting to hug me — but I didn't let him do it so quickly.

— Shhh... — I hushed him, putting my finger to my lips. — Mom's asleep, don't wake her...

— Ah! Sorry! — Fukase said just as loudly, and then immediately realized he was still shouting, lightly smacking his own lips to signal himself to shut up. — Sorry...

I sighed tiredly, threw my bag toward the wardrobe, and sat on the couch. Fuka sat beside me, then cheekily kissed me on the cheek, giggling a little. We still kept our silly childish relationship going, but he was definitely the more active one in it — he was extremely tactile, and I usually preferred more calmness, but I think we complemented each other well.

— Oli-Oli, you're so quiet... — Fukase said, slightly saddened by my melancholic mood. — Hey, I get it, it's hard... Let me come with you tomorrow, yeah? Maybe it'll be easier with me there...?

— Hm... if you want... — I said, laying my head on Fukase's shoulder.

— Hey, come on now. Don't look at everything so sadly... it'll all be over soon and things will be like before! — Fukase said, hugging me tightly. — So? Let me go with you?

— I said, if you want to...

An awkward silence settled between us... I had been kind of tired all week, so talking hadn't been going well with anyone — Fukase was no exception.

— Sorry, I'm just tired... — I apologized, looking away. — I know I've been saying that all week, but it's true, I'm just really tired...

Fukase looked at me thoughtfully, clearly worried. He stopped hugging me and leaned back a little, then gently took my hands in his.

— But in the dream world, everyone's always full of energy! Maybe we could talk there? I just... — he hesitated for a moment. — I just want to support you somehow, you matter to me! Let's go to your dream world and talk there... you can even talk loud there!

— You're really eager to get into my world, huh? Can't wait? — I asked with a smirk, and that smile clearly made him happy — he was glad for any bit of positive emotion from me during times like this.

— Ooh, you're so sharp! — the boy whined in a theatrically exaggerated way, pressing the side of his head against my chest. — But I really do want to spend time with you somewhere safe... I want to talk and help you relax... I love you, Ollie...

I thought about his words... and really, why not? Maybe it really would help... I was just scared that my dream world would be terrifying, because I often had nightmares, or empty, because just as often I didn't dream at all. I didn't want to be disappointed in my own mind... but isn't that kind of interesting too? It might help me get distracted, and maybe tomorrow won't feel as heavy.

— Alright... — I said quietly. — Fine... let's go into my dream world then...

— Yay! — Fukase shouted again, a bit too loudly, jumping on me and knocking me onto the bed. — Oops, sorry! I'll be quiet!

I laughed at his silly behavior, then took his scar-covered hand and kissed it like the hand of a princess, making Fukase immediately blush bright red and pull away from me in embarrassment... he was so funny — he could kiss my cheeks without a trace of shame, but when I did something like that, he turned into a shy little hedgehog and hid.

After slapping himself lightly on the cheeks, Fukase finally calmed down, then reached into his bag and pulled out the familiar paint and brush... I guess it was his turn to draw the big beautiful pattern on me. Then, taking out a book, he opened it. His fingers — long and nimble — gently ran over the yellowed pages until he stopped at the right pattern. In the soft glow of the last sunrays, his crimson eyes lit up with excitement — he was clearly fired up about the idea of entering my dream.

Without saying anything, I extended my left arm, slightly rolling up the sleeve of my shirt. It didn't seem strange anymore. Fukase took my hand in his, holding it firmly but gently.

— Sit still, don't move. — he warned with a squint. — I want it to be perfect! My lovely Oli deserves the most beautiful pattern!

— Ha-ha, and the one I drew on you wasn't the most beautiful? — I teased.

— Hey! That's different... I... I can't outdo you, but I'll try to make it similar!

I chuckled but said nothing, watching as he carefully touched my skin with the brush. The cool paint gave me goosebumps along my arm. The first lines were thin and barely noticeable — he started with long, flowing strokes that curled in spirals along my wrist. Then he added small dots, barely touching the tip of the brush to my skin, which tickled slightly. I wanted to squirm, but I held still.

Fukase worked with great focus, his brows slightly furrowed and his lips twitching into a subtle smile. He traced elegant lines, connecting them with tiny stars. His fingertips touched my skin just enough to steady my hand, and I could feel the warmth of his palm offsetting the chill of the paint. It was... pleasant. Soothing.

— Done! — he finally exhaled, admiring his work and handing me the brush. — Now it's your turn. Just draw a little star on me!

I took the brush, shaking my head slightly. Fukase held out his hand to me — pale and covered in scars. I glanced at the pattern already drawn on my own arm, then carefully dipped the brush into the paint and drew a few lines on Fuka's wrist, forming a small star.

— Done... — I smiled, setting the brush aside.

And once again, the pattern flared and glowed for a few seconds! This time I didn't flinch or pull my hand back. On the contrary, I simply watched as the golden glow ran through the lines, as the stars on my skin shimmered with soft light. It was mesmerizing — as if my hands were covered in magical tattoos.

Fukase watched it all with a satisfied look on his face, smiling as though he had accomplished something beautiful. Then he looked at me again, leaned closer, and whispered softly:

— Ready to see your dream world, Oli?

I nodded uncertainly. The glow slowly faded, leaving a gentle warmth on my skin.

— Perfect! — the boy exclaimed happily.

— See you tonight, yeah? — I smiled gently.

— Yeah! good luck! See you...! — Fukase giggled, then suddenly kissed me on the cheek and quickly ran out through the window, leaving me alone.

Finally, silence returned — but not for long, as the door to my room began to slowly open. Turning toward it, I saw my father again... Had he already finished eating? Or maybe he'd heard us...?

— Fukase was here? — Dad asked as he approached and sat down beside me, making me shrink slightly. Could he have overheard something?

— Yeah... — I replied flatly, unsure why he was asking. — He wants to come with us tomorrow...

— Hm? Yeah... of course! That'll make it easier for you, right?

— I don't really... care...

Dad fell silent, then turned his head to look at James, who was sitting quietly in his cage, looking bored and perhaps a little hungry. Dad picked up a small pouch of bird seed from the nightstand and poured some into James's bowl, gently stroking his head with the other hand.

— Oli-Oli, you haven't been watching him at all, huh? — he asked with a teasing tone, turning back to me.

— As if I can keep track of anything...

— Hey! Don't talk like that! — Al exclaimed, gripping my hand tightly. — Listen... Oliver, I know the memories are flooding back, I know it's a lot, but it's not...

— I'm not in the mood for this conversation right now... — I interrupted him harshly, yanking my hand from his grip.

He went quiet again, looking at me with some kind of pity. Then he scooted a bit closer, and wrapping an arm around my shoulder, hugged me gently, pressing me against his chest, where his heart beat calm and steady. I didn't return the embrace, and guilt pricked at me for it... He was trying so hard, but I didn't feel like I deserved his kindness... I couldn't believe that his warmth was truly meant for me.

— I'm sorry, sweetheart... — Al whispered, stroking my hair tenderly. — Just try to keep your composure, okay? Please talk to me if something's wrong... Or talk to your teacher, he'll understand! Or mom...

I only nodded, not wanting to say anything more. Dad hugged me a little tighter, but soon let go, kissed me on the forehead, and quietly left the room, finally leaving me alone.

When he left, I felt relieved... but at the same time irritated and angry — mostly at myself, for being rude and so indifferent. I was acting terribly... They were just trying to help... But... I didn't ask for it! Why do they assume I'm like Hio, always bottling everything up? What makes them think they know that? Why do they keep comparing me to him?! I didn't want to look at them anymore... I didn't want to look at anything...

I just wanted to escape from reality... into a dream... maybe it would be calm and empty, maybe there I could finally rest... though, considering that I was about to meet Fukase there — I'd probably end up running around actively again, haha. I shouldn't have agreed to this... I should've just rested... but... I kept that desire to myself and didn't tell him...

Looks like... my parents' worries weren't so baseless after all...

Immersed in those thoughts, without brushing my teeth, changing clothes, or even removing the bandages from my face, I finally drifted off to sleep... into my dream world... into the depths of my subconscious...

Cold. Piercing cold, like I'd been lying in a bathtub of cooled water for far too long. A heaviness wrapping around my whole body, as if it had soaked into every inch of my skin. I couldn't immediately understand where I was, but one thing was clear — breathing was hard.

I gasped sharply and jerked upright, gripping the damp but surprisingly soft ground. It wasn't solid as usual, more like a web of long fibrous grasses soaked in moisture, slowly swaying beneath my weight. My breathing was heavy until I realized that with each inhale, the air was coming more easily, as if only now it had been allowed to fill my lungs.

I raised a hand to wipe the moisture from my eyes, feeling drops slide down my lashes, thin streams running along my cheeks. My clothes were soaked, but oddly not uncomfortable — and when I looked down, the parts that hadn't been submerged were already beginning to dry.

The clothes themselves were strange... I wore a light, almost weightless white-and-blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, over which draped a long, sleeveless, semi-transparent cloak that floated gently with the water's flow. A blue ribbon tied in a neat bow adorned the collar. My shorts were a slightly darker shade of blue with a soft gradient. This outfit felt ghostly...

I looked around slowly. The water-covered ground stretched out endlessly before me. Thin, tall grasses didn't rise above the surface — their long stalks moved gently beneath the water like river weeds. The water was clear and harmless, but my fear of it still made my heart clench.

Trees... there were many of them. They were all nearly the same size, as if someone had planted them at once. Their trunks were a pale grayish-brown, and their branches held clusters of tiny, light-blue flowers with the occasional green petal. They didn't sway, didn't rustle, didn't give off the familiar feeling of a forest — there was no wind at all.

I raised my head, trying to see the sky. But up there... there was nothing.

No stars, no clouds, no signs of life. Just a dark violet-blue, almost black void — with no light, but no true darkness either. A space. A void.

And the air... it had no temperature. Not warm, not cold — just existing.

When I lifted my arms to examine my sleeves, I noticed something small, but unsettling. From the thin skin of my wrist, a flower had sprouted. Tiny. Sky-blue. With delicate petals...

I quickly looked down. From some spots on my legs — where the water touched the skin — similar flowers were growing. Small. Fragile.

They didn't cause pain or discomfort, but it was terrifying to see them growing out of my skin, as if their stems had rooted somewhere inside me like worms...

— F-Fukase? — I called, standing up and starting to look around, searching for the boy I loved... I was scared here — especially with water all around me.

But I didn't see Fukase anywhere... maybe he hadn't fallen asleep yet? And if he did, how would I find him? How would I know where he appeared? Yes, he had explained that the dream-world owner had to fall asleep first, and the second person would come later... but what if Fukase took a long time to fall asleep? I couldn't sit here too long alone — this place was creepy! But I couldn't go anywhere either — what if Fukase appeared here, how would I find him later if I'd wandered off?

Suddenly, my ears caught something... something familiar and pleasant. Gentle piano sounds... music... a composition Hio loved to play... calm and tender. I even knew the lyrics that had been written for that music...

This music calmed me... beautiful and gentle. Even the water didn't scare me now. Garijus's music always brought me peace, and this one was tied to Hio too...

Looking toward the source of the sound, I saw a dark silhouette walking in that direction. Hoping it was someone alive, I started moving quickly toward it. As I got closer, I saw that the silhouette was a kind of black, semi-transparent matter shaped like a human... the spirit looked familiar, I wanted to speak to it, but the moment I reached out and touched it, the spirit dissolved into the air, leaving nothing behind. Once again, I was alone in this place, left with only the music, which kept playing no matter what...

And suddenly, the music was interrupted by a sharp gasp somewhere nearby... Turning around, I saw Fukase sitting on the ground, looking around as if he didn't understand where he had ended up. He noticed me and immediately stood up, then ran to me and hugged me... his clothes were very similar to mine, but the sleeves of his shirt were long, and instead of shorts — a skirt... I didn't see any flowers on him, except perhaps a small, seemingly unfinished flower crown on his head... his red hair, the tips of which were slightly pale this time, stood out vividly in this world, drawing all attention to it.

— Oliver! — Fukase exclaimed, pressing against my chest. He seemed a little scared — maybe he'd never had such a strange and unsettling awakening before.

— Hey... — I said with unnecessary flatness, as if this world wouldn't allow me to show my anxiety about everything happening. — My dream world... it's scary, isn't it?

— Oh... n-no, not at all... just a little unusual... and a little... empty. — said Fukase, letting go of me and looking straight into my eyes, though a certain confusion was frozen on his face. — Forget-me-nots are growing out of your eye...

Not understanding what he meant, I touched my face, the place where I usually wore a bandage, but now I felt flowers growing there — soft and small.

— Mm... — I murmured, not knowing what to say.

— Does it hurt? — Fuka asked worriedly, clearly concerned for me.

— No... I didn't even notice at first... — I answered honestly, once again listening to the gentle music... it was all I wanted to think about.

— This place is so unusual... kind of magical... — said Fukase, gently taking my hand. — I thought your dream would be a bit brighter... I thought there would be lots of plush toys, like the ones on your bed...

— Well, excuse me... — I said sarcastically, looking somewhere off into the distance, toward where the piano sounds were coming from.

— Hey, stop it, I'm not saying that's a bad thing! This is your subconscious, you don't control it, I get that... — Fukase said, hurt by my tone, lowering his head.

I didn't know what to say... I felt unreal. The water under my feet made it hard to focus, making my heart beat faster. I felt scared, but I didn't want Fukase to see it... I didn't want to scare him — these were just my feelings, he didn't need to worry about them.

— The music sounds familiar... — Fukase said, turning his head in the same direction I was looking. — Is that some music your teacher wrote?

— Yeah... — I answered, taking a step toward the source of the sound. — The first piece the teacher ever played for Hio... at least that's what he said. And the first one he played for me...

— Are we going there? — asked Fukase, following my steps, still holding my hand.

— Where else would we go? This place looks empty...

— Well... I don't know. It's just creepy, maybe there's something else here?

— If there is, then it's out there somewhere... — I said, continuing to walk.

Fukase didn't argue, continuing to walk beside me, still looking around. I looked around too, hoping to see something, but there was nothing — everything was the same: emptiness, water, and trees with forget-me-nots instead of normal flowers that usually grow on trees. Walking here was hard and tiring because of the water and the soft surface made of grass-like seaweed... Strange — we weren't physical here, we didn't have real bodies, this was just our souls... but apparently, even souls could get tired.

As we walked, the music grew louder and louder, I could already feel I was very close to the goal — just a bit farther and that would be it, but the emptiness wouldn't end... I still couldn't see the source of the sound even though the trees were sparse and the sound was clearly nearby — a dark fog covered everything that lay far away.

— Ah! — Fukase suddenly exclaimed, squeezing my hand tighter and slightly jumping back.

I looked at him in confusion, but he said nothing, as if at a loss for words, as if he hadn't expected to see what had frightened him so much... His eyes were looking behind me, down into the water... turning my head, I saw streaks of blood on the water, flowing in small, slow trails... they flowed from the very place the sound was coming from. My heart skipped a beat at the sight...

I didn't like the sight of blood... it looked terribly frightening, I wished it were invisible, but it was, of course, bright.

Backing away in fear, I let go of Fuka's hand, then, staring at the place from where the music was playing and the blood was flowing, I abruptly turned around and started walking away, not wanting to face whatever was waiting at the end of that path.

— Oli! — Fukase called, hesitating for a moment, but then pulling himself together and following me again. — Hey-hey, don't be scared, I'm here with you...

He tried to take my hand again, but I pressed it to my chest, not letting him. Kase was clearly surprised by the gesture and froze, while I simply quickened my pace, walking away from him and vanishing into the black fog and behind the trees. I wanted to see the source of the sound — I needed to — but I just needed to gather my thoughts... just gather myself and go... not run away this time...

Suddenly, a loud, deafening voice rang out from the sky, making my legs stumble and causing me to fall face-first into the water... the voice was completely unintelligible, like mumbling under one's breath, but I understood perfectly what it was telling me. I couldn't leave — I couldn't run away again — that's what it was trying to say to me.

Lying in the water, I thought about whether it was really worth it, when suddenly someone grabbed my hand and pulled me out, letting me breathe deeply once again. Of course, it was Fukase... who else could it be in this world?

Kase knelt beside me and immediately hugged me tightly, placing one hand on my back and the other on my head, which he pressed gently to his shoulder.

— Easy now, easy... — the boy whispered, gently and slowly stroking my back. — It's okay... Oli...

Fukase, not finishing his sentence, pulled back and looked into my eyes, as if trying to see the emotions I was feeling, as if wanting to wipe away my tears... but I wasn't crying...

— Let's leave this place, if you don't like it? — Fukase continued, taking my hand and pressing it to his chest. — Let's wake up... I'll run away from home and come to you, I'll stay the night with you, m? How's that sound?

I shook my head at his offer, refusing the idea of running away... no... to throw everything away again just because of fear — no... I didn't want that anymore. Running away would only make everything worse again... would strip me of something important again... I didn't want to run anymore.

— No, no... — I said as calmly as I could, swallowing the lump in my throat. — I want to go back there, to the music... I... I'm not scared, I just panicked because... because this world is so uniform, and over there it's a little different...

— Oliver. — Fukase cut me off sharply, getting to his feet and pulling me up with him. He opened his mouth again, clearly wanting to say something, but then stopped... maybe he was afraid... afraid of reaching too deep into my heart. — Alright... But don't run away from me again... I don't want you to be here without me, it's not safe...

— Ha-ha... — I gave an awkward laugh, trying to lighten the mood. — Not safe, in a dream?

— I didn't tell you? If you don't want to leave your dream world, if you don't fall asleep here — then no one can wake you... — said Fuka, brushing my hair gently away from my face. — Time keeps going back there, in reality... they'll try to wake you, and you'll hear it, but if you don't want to — you won't wake up, and eventually you'll die from exhaustion or thirst, without even feeling it here...

I fell silent, thinking about what he said. He'd never told me that before... never warned me... Why did he think I needed to hear it now? I didn't like this place, why would I want to stay? This place was safe in our case — I didn't like water, I would never stay here. I just had to see whoever was hiding near the bloody water... and then I'd leave...

— Don't worry about me, Kase... — I smiled softly. — There's nothing for me to do here... this place is awful... I just want to look around, that's all!

— Don't talk like that about your subconscious... it's not awful. — said Fuka a little angrily, squeezing my hand tighter. — Its beauty is just a bit hidden right now, because the times are tough. Let's fix it up together once everything's back to normal, yeah? I'll help you rebuild your subconscious! I know it's beautiful, it just needs some order!

Fukase stepped closer and gently kissed my forehead — soft and warm... I exhaled in relief and hugged him, pressing against his frail chest, where his heart was beating so fast... He was worried, but paradoxically, that anxious heartbeat calmed me so much.

— I'm sorry... — I said quietly, pulling away. — I... I'm so troublesome...

— Don't say that! You... you helped me so much... You helped me accept myself, that means a lot to me... I feel so much more confident and better now, I don't even think about what strangers are looking at anymore! Let me help you now!

At such sweet words I only chuckled softly, blushing from how tender it was. Fukase really was a ray of light! I loved him so much!

— Alright... — I said with a faint smile, nodding. — Let's figure all this out and leave here!

Kase smiled back, and I headed once again toward where the music was coming from — but this time we held each other's hand, not just him holding mine... His body, though not physical now, felt warm, and I felt better with him near.

After a while, Kase and I reached the place where we had stopped earlier... the blood was still flowing in little streams, like there were piles of corpses scattered somewhere ahead. But it wasn't real! Everything was fine, this was just a dream, no need to get too scared...

And now the music was so close... the gentle yet loud notes felt almost physical. That feeling always came over me when I was near a piano being played...

There was more blood in the water too... it was already hard to avoid it, and it left terrible stains on our legs and clothes. But I didn't stop... Just one more step, and I reached the place the music had been leading me to...

The water around us swayed, barely moving to the rhythm of the music. I stepped forward, carefully stepping over the blood spreading through the water in thin, winding streams.

And then, finally, I saw it.

Before us was a small clearing, still flooded with water, but a little more spacious than the rest of this world — there were no trees on the clearing. And in the center of it stood a piano. It was beautiful. Elegant. Shining, as if brand new, freshly polished to perfection. And so familiar...

And at that beautiful piano sat someone just as elegant and beautiful... My dear brother Hio...

He was wearing almost the same clothes as me. Only instead of shorts, he wore slightly loose pants. Hio never liked shorts, never wore them.

His fingers gently touched the keys, drawing from the instrument that very sound that had led me here, that had calmed me in this world. But my brother didn't look at us. His eyes were closed, his breathing even, and his movements perfect. He didn't need his eyes to play. He could've done it in his sleep, in a daze, and his music would still be flawless.

— Hio... — I breathed out, barely realizing I was saying it aloud.

And at that very moment I felt my hand slip free — I hadn't even noticed I let go of Fukase's hand.

Without thinking, I stepped forward. I felt my legs trembling, something unbearable rising in my chest — a mixture of anxiety, joy, fear, and pain. But before I could go any farther, someone grabbed my wrist sharply.

— Oli, stop. — Fukase said firmly.

I turned around. Fukase was looking at me with concern, his red eyes no longer playfully curious. He was clearly anxious...

— Fukase, I... — I began, but he didn't let me speak.

— Whatever he says — question it!

— What? — I frowned, tugging my arm a bit harder, but he didn't let go.

— Oli, listen to me... — Fukase's voice was quiet but firm. — That's not the real Hio. This is your dream, your subconscious. That's not him.

I narrowed my eyes, feeling irritation boil up inside me.

— I know...

— Just... just keep asking yourself: "Do I think he would say this?" Because everything he says will be what you expect to hear!

I clenched my teeth.

— I'll figure it out myself. — I said evenly, trying not to show how much his words bothered me. Hio would never say anything bad to me...

Fukase slowly let go of my wrist. I looked at him, but he only sighed and stepped back, letting me go alone...

I turned around and headed toward the piano. Every step was hard. Not because of the water, not because of exhaustion. I felt something invisible trembling inside me, something that wanted to burst out.

And then, I was there. Hio still wasn't looking at me. Still playing. I slowly reached out my hand, almost afraid to touch him. But I had to, I wanted to touch him. And I did... I gently touched his fragile shoulder.

The music stopped immediately. The world froze. A heavy silence fell, broken only by the sound of water trickling beneath our feet.

I held my breath, and Hio slowly opened his eyes. Red, deep eyes... Calm. The same color as my hidden left eye...

He looked at me, tilting his head slightly, and I felt my heart pounding with fear. I never thought I'd be able to meet him again. I never thought I'd see his eyes again... the dead don't open their eyes, especially not the ones buried in the ground...

— Ollie... — Hio whispered softly in his gentle, slightly hoarse voice. His voice had always been like that, it was so soothing, and I loved it...

— Ah, I... — I began, pressing my palms to Hio's cheeks. — I never thought I'd hear you again...

I took a step toward him and hugged him tightly, pressing his head to my chest, and he didn't resist... To touch him again was such a miracle that tears of desperation and happiness immediately ran down my cheeks. He gently hugged me in return, placing his hands on my back.

— Ollie, my Ollie... — my brother spoke again, lifting his head and looking into my eyes once more. — Oh, how I missed you... I came to you, why did you run from me in your dreams?

— Me? Run away? N-no, I would never... I... I only have nightmares, and... and you don't look like a monster... — I said, placing one hand on top of Hio's head and starting to stroke his soft hair. — Or... are you not talking about dreams?

— About dreams, little one... — he shook his head. — But thank you for finally coming to me... I missed you so much... It's so lonely here... there's no one else...

— No one? No one at all? — I asked, lifting my head and trying to spot anyone else.

— Only dark, translucent entities, but they don't speak to me... — Hio replied, hugging me tighter, but then slowly pulling away and taking my hand. — How is Mom doing? Dad, sister? And what about the teacher? Is he alright? And Morta? I hope you kept all the toys she gave me?

Hio stood up from the stool and, leaning down, gently kissed my forehead, carefully wiping away the tears from my cheeks. This Hio behaved exactly like the real one, like he was alive... could he really hurt me? No... he couldn't... this Hio felt real... and the real Hio was kind, caring, and wouldn't hurt a fly.

— Um... Well, Ruby and dad seem to have come to terms with it, though today they're very sad, Mom... Mom misses you a lot, but dad and Ruby are really supporting her. Garijus misses you a lot too... we... we gave him all the toys, he asked for them. Only that big yellow funny alien is left, the big one... He was your favorite, we left him on your bed... — I said, my voice heavy with sadness... it was hard for me to recall their sorrowful faces.

— Ah, I see... I hope the teacher takes good care of them. — my brother smiled, pulling away and grabbing my hand with his right one — the sleeve was rolled up, and from a large cut on his arm, blood was pouring, dyeing the surrounding water red. — How did you get here, little one?

— F-Fukase helped me get here... — I explained, glancing at Kase, after which Hio also looked at him, but there was no interest in his gaze, only indifference.

Fukase looked back at my brother, but there was clear distrust in his eyes... It was deeply disrespectful. Hio was the kindest and sweetest person in the world, you couldn't look at him like that...!

— I see... — Hio sighed, turning his gaze back to me. — I thought we were alone here... like before, when we'd sit in the same room and talk about everything!

— Um... but Fukase helps me a lot, he's important to me... — I said awkwardly, looking at the ground, afraid to see my brother's bleeding hand.

— Yeah, I know he's important... I died just a year ago, and you've already moved on to him...

— What?! N-no, it's not like that! — I exclaimed in distress and shame, lifting my gaze to my brother's face. Apparently, Hio already understood what kind of relationship I had with Fukase... maybe, as a part of my subconscious, he knew a lot about me. — He just... helps me cope with everything... I... I miss you so, so much and I need s-support... I'm really sorry I couldn't help you when I ne-needed to...!

— Of course you're sorry, I get that... you literally failed your main task, what else would you feel besides regret... — Hio said in a displeased tone, frowning.

— What are you talking about? — I asked, lips trembling, gripping his hand tighter in worry.

— They took you into the family so you could help me, and you failed even at that... — Hio said harshly, and then I noticed tears in his eyes. — I could be alive right now, if you had even tried to help...

I froze in place, not understanding why Hio was being so cruel to me... "they took me to help him"? Did that mean... did he never really see me as a brother? Was I truly just a tool, a remedy for sorrow...?

— I... I got so scared that time... I didn't... I didn't expect to see you like that... — I muttered, voice shaking, swallowing a lump in my throat, not knowing what else to do but try to defend myself. — I also... I can f-feel too... I'm human too... I wasn't taken into the family just to... to be your comfort... was I?

Hio fell silent for a while, looking at me with surprise and... some kind of judgment...

— Do you really think you're needed in our family? — my brother suddenly asked, his eyes wide and his stare so pressing that I instantly felt small and weak.

— W-what?

— What's wrong with that? — he asked, exhaling irritably. — You're not part of our family... and even after my death, you can't become one, you won't replace me, even with your light hair like mine and that red eye, just like mine and our sister's...

I couldn't believe what Hio was saying... his words struck me straight in the heart. I never wanted to replace Hio, I just... I just wanted to be part of the family... I just wanted to be loved too... but was I really just a temporary toy?

Tears streamed down my cheeks again, and my head dropped, shoulders curling inward. Hearing this made me feel so sick, sick to my stomach...

— Oli! — Fukase's sharp voice reached me, and I turned my tearful gaze to him. He quickly approached and yanked my hand from my brother's grasp, pulling me a few steps back. — I told you: don't listen to him! Oli, listen, he's not real! Hio would never say that to you, do you understand?

— B-but... he's saying it...

— That's not Hio! Just trust me, Oliver, it's time for us to go! — Fukase urged, but I pulled my hand away and stepped back toward my brother, pressing to his side and glaring at Fukase with distrust. — Oli?

— No, I won't leave him again! — I shouted, grabbing Hio's bleeding hand tightly once more. — Go alone... I won't leave him...

— What?! No! Are you out of your mind?! I'm not leaving you here alone!

— Oliver... — Hio whispered, leaning closer to me. — I don't like noisy things... Get rid of him... Let me spend time with you like we used to... it's your duty. You already failed me once — don't fail me again...

— W-what?! Oli, don't listen to him! Let's go, let's go back to reality! — Fukase exclaimed loudly, outraged by such a request.

— No... go away...

— I told you — I'm not leaving without you!

— Why won't you listen to me? — I asked, glaring at Kase with anger. — Again, no one listens to me... who am I to you, that you get to decide for me? — hurt took over me, my cheeks itched from it. — Get out...

Fukase was clearly stunned by my rudeness and seriousness. He froze for a few seconds, not knowing what to do...

— I... — he began, but I didn't let him finish:

— I said: Get out.

He clearly didn't agree with my command. The boy stepped closer to me and grabbed my hand again, wanting to pull me somewhere we could be alone, where he could talk to me calmly. But I didn't want that... I couldn't leave Hio again...

— Are you not listening to me at all?! — I shouted, baring my teeth. — Leave me alone!

A sudden gust of wind swept across the clearing, breaking the oppressive silence. It came out of nowhere — a sharp, almost predatory current that seemed to rip apart pieces of this strange watery world itself. Fukase stumbled back, raising his arms to shield himself from the invisible force that tried to push him away.

The water beneath our feet stirred, rippling. The light stalks of the underwater grass trembled, swaying beneath the surface. The forget-me-nots on the trees quivered as if in a silent scream.

And then the voice came again from the void.

Deafening, crushing — like someone's furious whisper blown up into a scream. The words blurred together, tearing through the howl of wind, but this time I caught every word.

"Why did you just stay silent?!"

A woman's voice. Young. Angry.

I froze, holding Hio tightly, but he didn't even flinch, didn't turn his head — he simply placed his palm on my head, as if wanting to pet me for being obedient.

Fukase lifted his head, his red eyes widening as realization struck — he now understood I was seriously trying to drive him away. He lunged toward me, lips parting — he tried to say something, but I gave him neither the chance nor the time:

— Go away! I don't want to hear you anymore! — I screamed again, slipping into hysteria.

And then black butterflies burst from the trees. They had hidden among the forget-me-nots' petals, blending into the darkness, staying concealed until the last moment. There were too many of them. Dozens, hundreds, maybe thousands. They shot up into the air, whirling in a mad, chaotic dance, then flew downward — right at Fukase.

I saw Kase clench his fists, take a step toward me, but the butterflies were faster. They swarmed him, enveloping him in a dense, writhing cloud, pushing him, knocking him down, dragging him into the darkness that had already crept so close, leaving us only a tiny island in this flooded space.

— Oliver!

I heard his voice one last time before he vanished into the black void, and then came... Silence. No wind, no sound, nothing...

Right after that, my knees buckled and I collapsed, sinking into the water that reached my thighs. I cried. My hands were trembling, my eyes burning with tears, my chest tightening so much it hurt to breathe. I had hurt the one I loved again. Again... I'd failed him again...

— Ollie...

My brother's warm palm lay on my head again. I sobbed, pressing my hands to my face, but Hio didn't let me hide. He gently moved my hands away, ran his fingers along my cheeks, wiping the tears, and slightly tilting his head, softly said:

— It's okay, little one. You did the right thing.

I could feel his blood dripping down his skin, the drops falling right onto my shoulder...

— I don't know... — my voice broke, trembling and weak. — I just... I don't know...

— Shh, shh... — he whispered, gently stroking my shoulders. — You're not alone anymore. We're together now, finally...

I couldn't answer him. He sat beside me, hugged me, pulling me closer, not caring how his blood stained my clothes.

— You know... — he spoke after a short pause. — I want to show you a place.

I turned my head slightly, burying it into his shoulder.

— What place...? — I asked, holding back tears for his sake.

— It's special. Beautiful. A huge tree... — his voice grew quiet, almost thoughtful. — It's unlike any other. So big, so majestic... I think you'll like it.

I paused for a moment. There was a tree in the other world too... Does everyone have one?

But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside. I didn't care. Hio was here. Not Fukase... I wanted to think about Hio... I had to think about Hio... I had to help him... that was my duty.

— Let's go! — he said, standing and offering me his hand with a smile.

Without hesitation, I placed my hand in his and stood up.

— You trust me, right? — he asked, still smiling.

— Yes... — I whispered.

He squeezed my hand a little tighter and turned, leading me away from the piano. I could barely see anything through the fog, but it didn't matter. He was here. And I'd never leave him again. I didn't care if I died here... I wouldn't betray him again... I'd protect him from being alone in this awful place... I had to... it was my duty.

— Hio... doesn't your hand hurt? — I asked, looking at the hand that kept bleeding and bleeding.

— Don't worry about that, little one. — the boy chuckled quietly, patting the top of my head. — It doesn't hurt at all... actually... even when I made the cut, it didn't hurt. And the bathwater was relaxing. So don't worry...

— It didn't hurt when you cut it? But the wound is so big... and... you looked...

Suddenly, a terrible image flashed before my eyes, sending shivers through me... That awful bathroom, the floor covered in water and blood. His drained, pleading gaze...

— Looked how?

— Your eyes... you were scared...

— Hah... well of course I was scared. I made such a rash decision out of stupid fear... of course I regretted it, but it was too late to fix it on my own. — Hio answered with a smirk. — And you didn't want to help me... just left me to die, that's all...

— No, I... I didn't leave you! — I cried out, not wanting my brother to think that. — I wanted to help, but I was so scared... I'd never seen anything l-like that. I just wanted someone to come... to do everything for m-me... I'm sorry... if only I had been braver...

— You didn't need to be brave, just not a coward... — Hio said mockingly, glancing around as if recalling where to go.

— I'm sorry...

We fell silent again, continuing our walk in quiet and calm... I didn't worry about Fukase anymore... if he wanted, he'd wake up, that's all. I just thought about Hio, about the past and everything happening in this world... nothing was happening, really, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

My eyes caught something not far away... That shadow again... but different. A different shape... This shadow sat on the ground, leaning against a tree trunk, curled up, trembling, as if crying. I wanted to go over and speak to it, but Hio didn't let go of my hand — he just kept walking forward.

— T-that... that shadow is crying! — I said quietly, tugging at Hio's hand and nodding toward it.

— Don't worry about it... they cry often... — my brother replied. — Especially her... Mom was always so delicate by nature.

— Mom? That's Ann?

— Yeah... those shadows must be your acquaintances...

— A... Are there a lot of them here?

— About six of them, the ones I can recognize... they just wander around here. But I can't even touch them, can't talk to them, they don't seem to see us... — Hio explained, picking up the pace slightly. — Mom, Dad, sister are definitely here... farther down, probably Garijus and Morta... Maika too... I think there are more people, but I can't tell who they are — I don't recognize their shapes. Maybe I don't know them...

— Ah, I see... — I said, lowering my head and leaning against my brother's side again. — Are we almost there?

— We're here, silly... — Hio chuckled, gently stroking my head.

Lifting my head again, I looked forward... the fog here wasn't as thick, as if the massive tree in the center of the clearing absorbed some of it. The tree, large and eye-catching, stood on a small hill that was free of water, which was a relief. The tree was blue, and again there were forget-me-nots... But beneath the blossoms I saw something else — something violet with flashes of yellow — though the forget-me-nots seemed to draw all attention to themselves...

— Beautiful, isn't it? — Hio asked, stopping in place and gazing at the tree.

— Huh? Y-yeah... beautiful... — I lied a little, feeling uneasy from the sight of that black rot.

My brother walked forward again, and I followed. Soon, we finally stepped out of that unpleasant water... Soft grass touched my legs, and they began to dry instantly, along with the edges of my clothes, as if I had never stepped into water at all.

Hio let go of my hand, walked closer to the tree, and sat down right at its roots. I quickly joined him and sat down between his legs, after which Hio wrapped his arms around my chest and pulled my back and head to his youthful chest — but I couldn't hear a heartbeat inside it.

We sat silently... for a long, long time... and I didn't want anything else. What right did a traitor like me have to want anything in a situation like this? No, I was just supposed to sit and do everything Hio wanted... That's what I was needed for... My brother loved sitting in silence, hugging like this — and I had to fulfill that...

— Oliver... — my brother whispered, laying his hand on my head and smearing my hair with blood. — I'm so glad you think about me, that you remember me... I'm grateful for that...

He said it so sweetly it made me want to cry from happiness — from the fact that I could be this close to him again, that I could hear him again...

— Yes! Of course I remember you, I always will! — I exclaimed, placing my hand over his uninjured one that rested on my chest. — Dad... Dad gave me a bird... James. As if they wanted me to forget you and get attached to him... But I will never, ever forget you... no one will ever replace you... I'll always be with you.

— Of course... you must... — my brother said sharply and coldly, and tears immediately rolled down my cheeks again... Those words didn't feel good... it was like I meant nothing to him.

— I'm sorry... — I said quietly, trying to hold back my sobs. — I'm sorry for everything, Hio... I'm sorry, I should've... I'm a bad brother...

I wished Hio would calm me down, tell me it wasn't true — but he didn't change his tone:

— Yeah... You're not even a brother... Would a brother leave his brother to die alone? Or did you do it on purpose...? Were you that desperate for our mom and dad to love you like a son?

A loud cry rang out again from the void, distorted as always... The voice of an adult, desperate woman shattered the world's silence, harsh and angry:

"You'll never replace him! Don't touch me!"

— I didn't want that! — I cried through tears, not knowing what else I could do but deny it...

They all, all of them hated me... I never wanted to replace my brother, I loved him. I was just scared, I couldn't force myself to help him — all I could do that day was sit in the hallway and wait for someone to come, someone who could help. But no one came when they needed to...

— I didn't want to, I really didn't want to! — I whimpered, trying to drown out my guilt with tears, but another voice roared out:
"Wake up... please, wake up."

A man's voice, calm but desperate... His voice had always been like that — calm. The teacher's voice... He was the first one who came to our house that day. He was the last one to hear Hio breathe and feel his heartbeat...

"If only you'd asked me for help... if only you'd asked someone sooner..."

Painful sobs crushed me... I didn't know how to stop any of it. All I could do was press tighter against Hio, hoping he would at least forgive me... No one else could... no one ever forgot what I'd done... They all thought I had done it to replace him... they all thought that.

— I'm sorry... — I whispered, exhausted, my head falling back onto my brother's chest. — I didn't want to be your replacement... I didn't mean to...

They all thought so... Because I was a child, they really started indulging my "wants," they confused things tied to us, projected their fears about Hio onto me. They all thought so, I was sure... no one believed me... I was a pathetic traitor...

I would spend the rest of my life repenting for what I did... I would always remember Hio... I'd never replace him with anything, never leave him...

I killed him and now I have to take care of him, of his soul... This is my fault... everything that happened — it's all my fault...

Hio, stroking my hair one last time, kissed the back of my head, then placed both his hands over my eyes, covering them. His hands, so soft and alive, began to harden and stiffen slowly, as if covered in bark... they wouldn't let me move my head — I was caught between them and the same stiff, unmoving wooden body.

Now I could stay here, now I wouldn't be able to leave...

I'd never run from him again, never leave him alone again... I would always be with Hio. I was a part of him... everyone saw a part of him in me... so I mustn't let anyone down, I must take care of Hio...

Darkness. Impenetrable, viscous, like thick tar, surrounded me from all sides. I couldn't see anything anymore, couldn't even move my head. Hio's hands held it so tightly they no longer felt like hands — more like a part of my body, like I had grown into this wooden form. I didn't try to resist, didn't search for a way out, didn't think of escape. I didn't need anything anymore — now I was where I was meant to be.

The voices didn't stop. The voices of people I knew, people I loved, echoed from the void. They called me, yelled at me, accused me, begged, demanded — but I didn't respond. Let them speak. They were right. I could've done something, but I didn't. I let him die, and now I bear the punishment — the deserved punishment.

I just sat and listened, not knowing how much time had passed. Maybe minutes, maybe hours... Was there even time in this place? It didn't feel like it. Time meant nothing here. All that existed was me, Hio's hands, and the endless chorus of voices.

"This is all your fault! If only you weren't such a coward, damn it, if only you weren't such a coward!" — shouted Ruby's angry voice. She had said those words when she came home that day. Mom and Dad weren't there, the teacher had left with them, everyone had left the house, Mom was still trying to do something, hoping there was still life in Hio... everyone left me alone and I had to tell her what happened... I was stunned and didn't know how to talk, how to explain it properly, and ended up telling her too many details, told her how long I waited without saying anything. She was ready to kill me, sobbing and lashing out, and when I locked myself in my room to hide from her, she pounded on the door for a long time, and when nothing came of it, she started smashing things around the house, not knowing what to do with all her rage.

"If only you'd asked someone for help sooner... " — came the teacher's voice, repeating the words he said while sitting in the bathroom on his knees, cradling Hio's lifeless body, as if trying to soothe him. The teacher never blamed me — he just grieved and kept saying the same things, over and over...

"It hurts to see you... don't come near me... you'll never replace him." — came my mother's voice. She had said that to me a few days after the funeral... she wasn't herself for a very long time, just sat in the living room all day, doing nothing. I tried to talk to her and comfort her, but she said that to me — and said it again and again. "You'll never replace him! Don't touch me!" — that too came from her.

Only my father's voice wasn't as clear... just his whisper, when he tried to calm his daughter and wife. He never yelled at me for what happened, never blamed me... he barely showed his emotions about Hio's death, though it was clear he was in a terrible state, but he tried to hold on, wanting to protect whoever he still could.

I listened to it all for an eternity... I deserved it...

But suddenly, amidst the monotonous noise, I heard something else. A quiet but distinct voice. A familiar voice.

— Oliver...

I flinched. Was it just my imagination? Or was someone really calling me?

That voice... but no, it couldn't be. It was just another illusion, another ghost of the void trying to drain me. But then I heard the splash of water. Someone was slowly approaching. The footsteps were muffled, but I could still hear them through the roar of voices. And then someone knelt beside me, and warm, familiar hands gently touched mine.

Warmth. Real, alive. It ran across my fingers, touched my skin, leaving a slight tingling sensation. I shuddered, feeling a familiar texture beneath my fingertips — unevenness, the traces of healed burns.

— Fukase...?

I didn't know why I asked aloud — I already knew the answer.

— You're here...

— Of course I'm here! I've been looking for you... — his voice was a little hoarse, like he was exhausted from the search. — I've been looking for you for hours, Oliver...

— You shouldn't have come. Go away... — my voice was weak, even to myself.

— No. Never. I won't leave you.

I pressed my lips together, not wanting to speak anymore. Kase's gentle fingers squeezed my hands tighter, but he didn't turn around or respond to the voice, only exhaled heavily.

— I really have been looking for you for hours... Do you know time flows differently in dreams? I've been searching for you for about three hours, maybe it's already morning back in reality, though of course I don't know, there's no clock here, ha-ha... — his laugh was awkward, as if he were trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't work. — Hey... let's wake up, sweetheart? I won't wake up without you, I won't leave you here...

I didn't answer.

Fukase still held me with one hand, and with the other, carefully tried to remove Hio's rigid hands from my face, but he couldn't. They were too hard. He sighed, seeming a bit frustrated, but said nothing, just hugged me, resting his head against my chest.

— Everything will be alright... — he whispered, his warm breath brushing against my skin. — Please, talk to me... I'll listen to everything. I beg you.

— What do you want? — I asked, feeling the lump in my throat again. — I won't leave... I already left him once, I won't do it again. It's my duty. And for failing it before — I deserve this punishment. I'm sorry, Fukase, I love you... but leave me...

— What nonsense! This isn't any kind of duty! — Fukase exclaimed, squeezing my hands tighter again. — Is that what he told you? I told you, he's not real...!

— He's real... — I hissed through tears. — He feels real... It's Hio. He knows so many personal things, how else could he know them? It's Hio...

— Know what, exactly? Everything he knows is either what you know, or what you imagine. That Hio isn't real...

— Go away... — I replied irritably, unwilling to accept that I couldn't even apologize to Hio, because the one beside me wasn't him.

— Don't push me away, Oli! I want to help... please, just accept that he isn't real! Hio would never say anything bad to you, he loved you so much...

I stayed silent, pressing my lips together in hurt... Fukase was right — however I called this meeting with Hio, the one beside me wasn't him, it was just a part of my mind, clouding me with his appearance and voice.

— Please... tell me everything, Oliver. You've never talked about that day... tell me. I want to help, let's go through it all together and understand what happened. — Fuka pleaded, gently touching my cheek.

— What's there to tell? — I asked, trying to suppress my tears. — I just... came home, and he was there... in the bathroom. Sitting in the water, and blood was coming from his arm... I got so scared that I just... just left... sat in the hallway and waited for someone to come... didn't have the brains to run outside and ask someone for help. My throat was swollen from fear, I couldn't even scream... The teacher came half an hour later... he'd gone to the place where Hio was supposed to take his exam that day, and he wasn't there... ran away from fear. He... he was so afraid of disappointing everyone that it was easier for him to kill himself than to fail, though with his abilities, that probably wouldn't have happened. Because of that, the teacher came to our house, he found Hio, but he couldn't do anything anymore... Hio took his last breath in his arms and that was it... — I told everything, no longer seeing the point in hiding anything... and I had no strength left anyway. — Mom and Dad came a few minutes later, while Garijus was still trying to bandage Hio's arm, hoping he was still alive. Mom screamed and cried loudly... I don't remember what happened after that... I only remember how in the evening my sister came and, when she found out everything, she went mad... and that's all. I don't even remember the funeral day... everything was like a fog for a few more days...

I fell silent for a few seconds, bursting into tears... I tried to stay calm, but I couldn't — the memories pierced my heart.

— Mom... Mom cried constantly, she was so empty. When I came to my senses — I wanted to help her, to comfort her, but she... she just screamed at me, said it was my fault, that I did it on purpose, that I was selfish, that I... that I'd never replace Hio, no matter how much I looked like him. But I didn't want to replace him... I just... I wanted to help... I loved Hio, I would never... never do anything like that. But I did... my sister said I let the whole family down... that I was just... pathetic... a coward. That I was in this family to help Hio, and I failed... She kept screaming, asking them to send me back to the orphanage. — I continued, constantly stopping to cry and sniffle. — After a while, everyone got used to it... they didn't say those things anymore, but... but they never said the opposite either. They never said it was just emotions... so... it's true... it's all true...

I finally finished my story, pulling my hands from Fukase's and pressing them to my brother's wooden palms. I cried even harder, ashamed that now even Fukase knew what I'd done, how disgusting I'd acted.

— I didn't know a lot about this situation... — Fukase muttered, placing a hand on top of my head and gently stroking it. — Oliver... Ah-h... This is the most obvious thing I can say, but this wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault. You were scared — you froze and stayed silent, that's something that happens a lot during fear. And everything they said — it wasn't what they truly felt. They were in shock, they were scared, they were saying whatever came to their minds. What nonsense — of course you didn't want to replace anyone...! You look like Hio, that's why he chose you as a brother... blond, half red-eyed — like a real brother, like family. They didn't take you just to heal Hio's wounds, he always said he'd dreamed of having a brother since he was five, he truly wanted to see you as one. It's okay, Oliver... none of this is your fault... you were eleven, what could you possibly have done? A little kid, knowing nothing about the world — what other reaction could you have had? Calm down, Oliver... you said you never talked about it again, right...?

— Y-yeah... — I barely managed to answer, feeling like I was about to vomit. — I can't... I'm afraid to r-remind them...

— You need to, Oli. You need to. You need to talk about it, to find out their true feelings... When you're calm, when you're not in shock — that's when you need to talk about such things. And you need it, you need this conversation! Oliver... — he paused, taking my hand again. — This tragedy — it's not something that should take up so much space in your subconscious... here everything is forget-me-nots, nothing else. As if, by promising not to forget, you plunged your entire consciousness into this tragedy. But life goes on! Obsessing over trauma — you just rot... Don't let grief become your identity... Oli... accept what happened and move on. Free your heart for something new and beautiful. Let Hio stay in your heart, you love him, I understand... but don't let thoughts of him and that tragedy take over your whole heart. It's not his heart... Oliver... whose heart is this, right here...?

Kase touched my chest, right where my heart was hiding, pounding madly from the flood of emotions. Swallowing the lump in my throat as deep as I could, I opened my mouth and finally answered the question:

— M-my heart...

— Yes... it's yours... and it should hold your feelings, your emotions, and your memories. — Fuka said with a clear smile in his voice, grabbing my hands again. — Please, Oli... it's time to let go... to let go of that day and open your heart to many other days!

Silence fell over the world... all the voices faded, even the water lost all sound... I could only hear my heartbeat. The heartbeat of my heart, which so badly wanted to follow Fukase's words and start feeling fully again...

Letting go of something so meaningful is always hard... but... I'm tired... tired of the eternal guilt over that horrible event. I wasn't at fault... No one was at fault. I shouldn't give my whole life to regret, shouldn't live it entirely in remorse and torment over something that wasn't my fault. I could have done something that day, but my body didn't let me... it's all over now, nothing can be changed...

Maybe... it really would be better to open my heart, to release everything that torments me, and allow in all that can bring me joy...

— I... — I whispered, once again letting the tears flow. — I want to... I want to let go... I want to open my heart to something new and beautiful. Please... I want my heart to be mine!

Fukase squeezed my hands tighter, but even so, his grip remained warm and gentle. I could feel something changing, how with each passing moment the tight, suffocating grip of Hio's wooden hands was growing weaker. The tension that bound me was dissolving. The weight was leaving, and instead of darkness before my eyes, I began to see a soft, white light. It shimmered, sparkled, and soon butterflies appeared before me. Their wings seemed to be woven from pure light, they glimmered faintly, surrounding me from all sides.

I could hear them. Gentle, light voices filled the air, whispering softly, tenderly, as if lulling me to sleep:

"I love you, little one...", "You helped me so much...", "You are always so important to me..."

The voices merged into one sound, and among them I recognized one especially dear. Hio's voice. The very same, but now softer, quieter. It no longer blamed me, no longer weighed me down, it was simply here, simply speaking to me. I held my breath, letting those words into my heart, and then the butterflies began to move, lifting from my face slowly, almost gracefully. Their glow grew stronger until, finally, they soared upward. I watched with reverence, unable to look away.

I felt something changing behind me as well. Fukase squeezed my hand a bit tighter, and I myself felt movement — my body becoming lighter, freer. Looking back, I saw more white butterflies rising into the air... They came from the place where Hio had just been. His body transformed into those white butterflies...

I felt no fear, no more guilt. Only a gentle sadness, mixed with relief. The butterflies, one by one, flew to the tree, enveloping its crown with light, and with their touch, the rotten black vines began to disappear. They dissolved completely, as if they had never been.

The forget-me-nots that had covered the entire tree suddenly began to fall, slowly settling on the water. They no longer looked heavy, sorrowful — now they simply adorned the space around us, delicate, light, carried away by a barely noticeable breeze. I lifted my gaze and saw the sky.

The dark, empty infinity was suddenly filling with light. Those butterflies that had flown into the void began turning into tiny, glowing dots, like little stars. One by one, they settled against the darkness, and soon the once-empty sky became starry. I had never seen stars here. Some butterflies remained on the trees.

When most of the forget-me-nots had fallen, other flowers appeared beneath them, as if they had been growing here all along but hidden until now. They were violet, with a faint golden hue, graceful and beautiful, reminiscent of wisteria. Now the tree was different. Now it was truly alive.

I gazed at it all with wonder, and then I felt Fukase watching me and turned toward him. He gently touched my cheek, his fingers sliding over my skin, over the flowers that had been growing from my left eye. His touch was light, but with each moment, the forget-me-nots slowly, painlessly fell from my face, landing on the ground...

My red eye, the one I had hidden for a whole year, the one I didn't want anyone to see because it reminded everyone of Hio, was open again.

Fukase smiled at me. There was no fear in his gaze, no sadness — only warmth and acceptance. He hugged me, tenderly, carefully, as if he knew I could break at any moment. I returned the hug, resting my forehead against his shoulder. I was still crying, but now my tears were no longer from pain. Now they were from relief. I felt... good.

And suddenly I heard a sound. A quiet, cautious chirp. I loosened the embrace and turned around.

On the ground, among the grass, near a beautiful, snow-white rose that now grew where Hio had once sat, sat James. My bird. I didn't know how he'd gotten here. He looked hesitant, slightly scared, unable to meet my eyes. Around his neck was a tiny wreath, woven from a single forget-me-not.

I didn't know what to feel. My lips trembled at the sight of him — I didn't know what to say, how to react.

Suddenly Fukase leaned in close to me and whispered softly, almost inaudibly:

— Open your heart to love, Oli. Let yourself love someone who will help you cope with the grief...

I pressed my lips together, feeling the lump rising in my throat again. Slowly, hesitantly, I stretched out my arms, offering James to sit with me. The little bird hesitated, but then, after a short moment, he did. I felt his soft feathers under my fingers, heard his breathing. And then, holding him tightly to my chest, I finally felt... peace. Finally I felt that I could fill my broken heart with something kind...

Exhaling, I placed James on my lap and leaned my back against the tree, lifting my head and looking at the flowers... the few forget-me-nots that remained didn't stand out or hide anything anymore, they were just part of the whole. They felt like my thoughts about Hio... once overwhelming everything — devouring all my other thoughts, now simply a small part of this world.

— I'm sorry I pushed you away like that, and so harshly. Thank you, Fukase... — I said quietly, resting my head on the boy's shoulder and taking his hand. — Thank you for everything...

— No need to thank me... I love you... I'll do anything to make sure you're okay and happy! — exclaimed Fukase, blushing slightly at his own words.

His warm words made me smile... he was so sweet and sincere. And then a silly idea popped into my head...

Slightly pulling back, I turned to Fukase, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek, slowly pulling him closer, and with trembling lips, I gently touched his soft, tender lips, closing my eyes. Fukase froze at my action, not knowing how to react... we had never kissed on the lips, I barely even kissed him on the cheek, and now I'd taken such initiative, but I wanted to show just how important he was to me... how much my Fukase meant to me.

After a few seconds, I finally pulled away, not wanting to drag the kiss on... long kisses felt improper. Fukase, red as if splashed with tomato juice, stared at me in shock, but soon calmed a bit and, leaning closer, kissed my forehead gently, then lowered his head and nuzzled it against my chest like a sweet kitten. Then he went lower and laid down on my lap, relaxing.

— Shall we wake up now...? — he suddenly asked, without turning his head. — I still have to walk to your house... no guarantee I'll wake up right away once I leave the subconscious...

— Ah, yes, of course... let's come back here tomorrow night, alright? — I asked with a smile, placing my hand on Fuka's shoulder. — Then, until morning...

— Yeah... but... you fall asleep first. I can't stay here without you, so it's better if you sleep first...

— Don't trust me? Afraid to leave me here alone? — I smiled, to which Fukase briefly averted his eyes, but soon nodded. I laughed gently, then leaned my back against the tree trunk and closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep.

I sat with my back pressed against the tree trunk, eyes closed, trying to sleep. I needed to leave this place. I needed to wake up, return to life, to those who were waiting for me. But emotions and memories still swirled in my head, preventing me from calming down. And then I felt the light weight on my lap disappear. My eyes immediately opened — and I saw Fukase's body half-dissolving into the air. His outline was fading, scattering into a soft light, leaving behind a quiet tremble in the air, but no trace... no scent, no sound, not even warmth. He was gone. Just like that.

Looks like he accidentally fell asleep first after all, relaxing as he lay on my lap.

I was alone. But I didn't want to linger... it would only make him worry back in the real world. Still, there was something I wanted to do by myself...

I slowly got up and walked closer to the place where Hio had once sat. A white rose, delicate and beautiful, had grown right there. It was flawless. Its petals glowed with a soft, dim light, as if they had absorbed some of the butterflies. Next to it, quietly and peacefully, sat James. He looked serene, as if he felt that everything had finally fallen into place.

I knelt down, then lay fully on the ground, resting my head near the flower, allowing myself to close my eyes for a few seconds. Leaning in, I gently touched the petals with my lips.

— I love you, Hio... — I whispered. — And I will always remember. I will never forget you. Never...

I exhaled and ran my hand along the rose's stem, as if along his cheek.

— I'm sorry... for not saving you then. Sorry I was weak. But I... I understand now. Nothing can be changed. And I need to keep living. Not for you, not instead of you... but for myself.

I didn't notice James come closer, carefully settling by my chest. His tiny body trembled with warmth, and I held him close, as if afraid to lose him.

And only then... I closed my eyes completely. And when I opened them — I found myself in my bed.

Same clothes — casual, wrinkled, from the street. On my face — the bandage, still there. The room was brightly lit by sunlight streaming through the curtains. I sat up slowly, caught my breath... Everything felt real. The weight of the dream had almost left, leaving behind silence and a strange warmth.

I got out of bed and walked to the mirror, looking at myself with hesitation. It felt like I was seeing myself for the first time in a whole year. Carefully, I reached for the bandage, removed it, freeing my left eye. Red... that same one.

I hadn't looked at it all this time. I avoided it, afraid it would hurt others to see it. I looked at it calmly now... it was my eye, and I didn't need to hide it or be ashamed of it...

And then I heard a knock on the window.

Turning sharply, I saw a familiar figure. Fukase. He looked out of breath, his hair tousled, his breathing heavy. He had clearly run here, not giving himself time to collect himself or catch his breath. He must've realized he fell asleep first and rushed over immediately, wanting to check on me.

Fukase burst into the room, almost instantly throwing his arms around me. He hugged me so tightly, as if afraid I would vanish if he let go.

— Everything will be alright... — he whispered in my ear, barely holding back a tremble. — Everything will be alright, Oli...

I hugged him back. Silently, but tightly. I felt that it was true. That everything would be alright. I didn't know how exactly. But I knew — I wasn't alone.

— Thank you... — I whispered, smoothing down the boy's messy curls.

Pulling back slightly, I looked around, including a glance out the window, and then kissed Fukase on the lips again — this time very briefly, afraid someone might come in.

And my worries were justified — my sister suddenly burst into the room. Luckily, I'd already pulled away from my beloved...

— Oh, you're already awake... and Fukase's here... Mom told you — no climbing through the window! — Ruby said in her usual mildly grumpy tone, casting only a quick glance at us. — We're leaving soon, so don't take too long!

She left right away, not noticing anything unusual. Ruby was acting so casually, like today was just another ordinary day, not a year since Hio's death... she probably just didn't want Mom to get even sadder — it had always been especially hard for her...

— Then shall we go? — I asked Fukase, smiling softly. — Do me a favor...

— M? What kind?

— If Garijus and Morta are already there — try to lead them a bit away from us... I want to talk to my family alone before we go to Hio's grave.

Fukase thought about my words, but quickly nodded. He took my hand and headed for the door, but I suddenly stopped, planting my feet. Pulling my hand from Fukase's grip, I turned to the cage where James sat, watching everything. Walking up to it, I carefully opened the door and held out my hand, allowing James to perch on it — and he did. Despite my coldness over the past year — he was still loyal.

— I'm sorry, James... I won't abandon you like that again. It was cruel of me... — I whispered, placing the bird on my shoulder. Dad had once taken James for a walk on his shoulder right out on the street and he hadn't flown away, so it seemed safe enough.

Now I was ready to go!

Fukase smiled at me and, taking my hand again, pulled me out of the room... but my nerves were so high that before the conversation I had to stop by the bathroom to wash my face... though I needed to anyway, I often forgot to brush my teeth. And so, after a little while, we finally found ourselves on the first floor. Voices were coming from the kitchen — male ones, I think Dad was talking to someone...

Quietly and carefully stepping into the kitchen, I saw that the whole family had gathered there, discussing something over tea, and with them were also my teacher and Morta. They were probably collecting their thoughts, warming themselves with hot tea.

As they noticed Fukase and me, everyone began to look at me with a kind of surprise... they must've been shocked to see me without the bandage — I hadn't shown myself like this in a long time.

— Oh, Oliver, Fukase... well now, everyone's here! — said Mother with a gentle smile, turning her gaze away, clearly trying not to look me in the eyes, as if she didn't want to bring up the subject.

— And what's that look of yours, Oliver? Since when do you carry James around with you? — asked Ruby tactlessly with a hint of irritation, and Mother cast her a sharp look, clearly signaling her to drop the topic.

— Well... it's just that...

— O Dieve mano! — the Lithuanians suddenly exclaimed, cutting off my explanation. Looking at the teacher and his companion, I saw how they were staring at Fukase... or rather, at his skirt, with fascination. They knew Fuka, but it was their first time seeing him dressed like that.

— Oh, a young man wearing a skirt? What nonsense! — said Garijus, stepping up to the boy. — But I respect such a bold approach, young man!

— Yes, and it suits you! — Morta added, following her friend. — You look so unusual!

Such conversation was completely inappropriate at the moment, but those two had always been drawn to the "unusual," to the "free," so I could understand their excitement. Especially from Morta — she often couldn't hold back her emotions.

Fukase looked at me as if asking "Should I take them out?" — and I nodded firmly, even though I still didn't feel ready. But I had to face my fear!

— Ha-ha, yes... maybe we can talk about it somewhere else? It's not really the place for all that...! — Fukase offered, trying to lure them out of the kitchen.

— Ah... no, no, excuse us, we'll be quiet. — the teacher laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. But Fukase suddenly grabbed him roughly by the tie, pulled him close, and muttered something in his ear. The pianist looked a bit startled, but quickly composed himself and, straightening up, added: — Yes, we'd better go... come along, my dear Morta!

He grabbed his companion by the waist and dragged her out of the room before she could react. Fukase glanced at me seriously, nodded, and clenched his fist to his chest as if urging me to be strong — then stepped outside, taking the Lithuanians with him so they couldn't eavesdrop. At last, I was alone with my family...

I was scared, but I had to talk to them... I couldn't keep hiding everything.

— Ha-ha, what strange people... see what paganism does to folks! — Al laughed, his loud and gruff voice instantly breaking my train of thought.

— Hush, dear Al... — Mother suddenly said, more sharply than usual, casting a displeased look his way.

She set her teacup down and stood up, facing me... it seemed she understood I wanted to talk about something. She was a naive woman, but good at picking up on glances and gestures — she must've realized Fukase had led the guests out at my request.

— Do you want to talk about something, sweetheart? — Mother asked softly, crouching down in front of me. — Maybe you don't want to go today? It's okay if that's the case... it's hard, I understand...

— No, no... it's not that... — I answered quietly, averting my gaze. — I do want to go, I just...

I pressed my lips together, afraid to speak... I didn't want to remind Mother of everything, of that horrible time and all the pain she'd been through... but it was too late to back down.

— I want... t-to apologize... — I muttered, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

They all looked at me with confusion and expectation, as if they didn't understand what I was apologizing for, or why.

— I-I'm sorry for how everything turned out... I'm really sorry. I... I loved Hio, I would... I would never have done that, please f-forgive me... I wanted to save him, forgive me, I just... I was so scared, I didn't even understand what was happening... — I began, keeping my head down as tears welled in my eyes. — I would've done a-anything to keep him alive, but there's nothing I can do now... I didn't want things to be like this, I really didn't. Forgive me... forgive me... I n-never wanted to r-replace him, really... I just... I just wanted to help back then, I just... I love you all, I wanted to help somehow. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to...

Tears burst from me as I tried to explain, and I covered my face with my hands — I didn't want pity... I was asking for forgiveness, not compassion... I didn't think I deserved it.

— S-sweetheart... what are you talking about, Oli? — Mother asked gently, moving closer and touching my cheek with her soft hand. — Of course you're not to blame. I... I understand everything. It's just... it's all just... I mean...

She went silent, searching for the right words, thinking through what I'd said.

— Oliver, you don't need to apologize... — Father stepped in, approaching and placing a hand on my back, as if to calm me down. — You're not to blame for how your mind reacted... you're still a child, and a year ago you were even younger — what could you have done, huh? Don't cry, Oliver.

— What nonsense...? — even Ruby spoke. — I can't imagine how anyone could even think of not helping someone just to replace them? Hey, no one's blaming you...

— But you did blame me! — I cried out, my whole body feeling drained from the tension. — I... I just wanted to help, I didn't want to replace him... I wanted to comfort you, Mom, I didn't think... I didn't think anything else...

I went quiet again, overwhelmed by sobs.

— Oh... — Mother suddenly gasped, clearly distressed. — No... Oliver, I didn't mean what I said back then! — with my eyes closed I couldn't see her face, but I could hear the shame and tears in her voice. — I just wasn't myself, you see? I didn't want to hear anyone, and the way you looked just reminded me of Hio and I... and I took it all the wrong way. I couldn't process reality clearly then... I'm sorry, my love... I didn't mean to say those things. If I'd known how much it was hurting you — I'd have talked to myself about it... I just... I was afraid to remember...

— Why didn't you tell us earlier, Oliver...? — asked Father, pulling Mother close, trying to comfort her.

— I... I was afraid to remind you... — I whispered, lowering my hands and pressing them to my chest. James reached up to my face and began to wipe away my tears with his tiny head. — I'm just... a pathetic coward... forgive me. I... I ruin everything because of my cowardice!

— Oh no, don't say that... — Ruby said softly and with unexpected tenderness, approaching and placing her hand on my head. — You're not a coward at all, stop it... — she spoke like she'd forgotten everything she'd once shouted at me that day. — You're just... that's your way of protecting yourself — staying silent and hiding... it's okay. Everyone copes in different ways, and this is yours. You're not at fault for being who you are.

— I'm sorry, sweetheart...! — cried Mother, grabbing my hands and pulling me into a hug. She held me tightly to her chest, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. — Forgive us... I understand now... you don't need to apologize. Thank you for everything you've done... thank you. And forgive us for not noticing... it's okay... you're not to blame. Don't cry... I love you...

Her words made me cry even harder — hearing something like that was too much... the thing I believed in all year, the thing I suffered so much for, crumbled in a matter of minutes. I couldn't believe it was real, but even so, I hugged my mother and pressed against her chest, not wanting to hear anything but her gentle heartbeat and breathing.

Father leaned in and gently embraced us both, and Ruby followed, barely holding back her tears.

Mother, Father, and my sister all hugged me together... that had never happened before, but... but it made me feel truly happy. They didn't resent me, they weren't angry at me, they didn't see Hio in me... they accepted me...

At last, I felt peace... despite the sadness of today — I finally felt truly alive and real. I had finally cried in front of them, finally said everything that had burdened me... finally I felt warmth inside... finally I understood that they saw me as a part of the family, even though I brought no use.

I felt needed and loved... and lying against my mother's chest, warmed by my family's embrace, I finally smiled — sincerely, joyfully, without guilt — feeling my heart release all the pain, making room for everything beautiful...

To be continued...

Chapter Text

A quiet room, always cast in shadow because of the drawn curtains, the scent of cleanliness lingering from the fact that it had been left untouched for so long... it was peaceful and warm here. I'd loved spending time in this room ever since I'd finally come to terms with my feelings about Hio. This was his room... I hadn't stepped inside it for a whole year — I hadn't had the strength — but now, wrapped in his blanket, light yet soft, I held tightly the toy that had always been here, the one we never gave to Garijus, and slept in peace...

It truly felt good in here — I even fell asleep for about half an hour from the comfort of it, unknowingly using up the last activation of the magic drawing on my arm. This time, I found myself in the world of dreams alone, but it didn't harm me... I no longer wanted to stay there forever for someone else's sake. I no longer felt guilt, I had accepted what happened and let it go, even though it still hurt and scared me.

I'd made it through, and now I felt okay... I felt free and happy. I'd told my family everything I'd felt, and they had understood me, accepted me, and supported me. I no longer felt like they looked at me as the one to blame for this tragedy, like they saw me as someone trying to replace my brother... now everything was fine and calm, I was... I was happy.

All thanks to Fukase... if he hadn't offered to go into my dream world, if he hadn't fought for me, if he hadn't helped me understand everything — I wouldn't have been able to let go so easily. I was so grateful to him... I was happy we'd helped each other get through our troubles... I really loved Fukase so much.

We understood each other, we complemented each other... I felt truly happy with him... It's a shame that even when we grow up we won't be able to exchange rings as a symbol of eternal love. I would've wanted to bind us, I would've wanted to spend my life with Fukase. But we're just boys... all we can do, all we'll ever be able to do — is share kisses, keeping our love a secret. No one would accept boys like us, no one would let us be together, but damn it, that doesn't matter... it doesn't matter if it's a secret or not — I'm happy with him and I love him, and no one else needs to know. Let it be our secret, our private love...

A sudden chirp pulled me from sleep and my thoughts of Fukase, making me open my eyes and return to the real world... It was James — my little bird, who now was always by my side, on my shoulder. I'd managed to open my heart to James, to let him in, and he had started to fill it. I'd fallen in love with this emotional and so human little creature, and now I couldn't imagine being without him. He no longer slept in a cage — I had placed an extra pillow on my bed, and that's where James always slept, right by my head. Even outside, he was always with me... he was such a sweet boy, and it was a pity I hadn't let myself see that before.

— Oh... — I sighed, rubbing my eyes. Today was going to be a tough day — I really didn't want to get up.

Today I was being enrolled in a private school, and I hadn't done well on my exams, so I was nervous... but in the end, everything went fine, I got in, and now I'll be studying singing in depth — no more focus on all that math and other stuff! Once summer ends, I'll be back in school again, but for now I should relax: toss all my anxious thoughts aside and enjoy the rest of summer.

— Are you asleep, sweetie? — came Mother's voice from the doorway, fully waking me up as I opened my eyes and looked around. — Oh, sorry, did I wake you?

— Ah... no-no, I was already awake... — I replied, sitting up in bed.

— That's good then... — Mom smiled, carefully approaching and sitting beside me. — Your friend is here.

— Fukase?

— Of course. He's asking to take you for the night! — Mom laughed, picking up James and gently stroking him.

— You mean... he wants me to sleep over? — I asked again, still a bit dazed from sleep.

— Yup, do you want to?

— Oh! Yes-yes! — finally realizing what was going on, I exclaimed, raising my arms joyfully, still holding the toy and waving it. — Yay! I was just thinking of him!

Mom laughed at my sudden energy and the brightness of my emotions. After our conversation that day, I'd started behaving a bit more actively and openly. Even though my emotions still weren't as vibrant as Fukase's, it was still hard for Mom to get used to how I acted now. Yes, I still often drifted into a more melancholic state, but I used to live in it almost constantly — so my current self seemed new and unusual to everyone.

— You two really have been spending a lot of time together! — Mom noted, placing James on her knee and gently taking the toy from my hands, brushing her other hand along my left cheek as she stared at my red eye — now always visible, no longer hidden behind bandages. — I'm glad... you look so free and happy when you're with him. I'm glad you're okay and happy now, my sweet Oli!

I fell into thought, remembering the time I'd spent with Fukase... In the beginning, we talked a lot, but I preferred spending time with Hio, feeling like I had to. Then I fell in love and began avoiding Kase a little, and now we were incredibly close, spending nearly all our free time together.

— Yeah... I love him, so I feel very calm with him! — I smiled, moving James to my shoulder and getting up from the bed. Mom didn't take my words strangely — she had no idea what kind of love I meant. — Then I'll go! See you tomorrow, right?

— Yes... — Mom replied, nodding calmly and opening her arms to me. I stepped closer and hugged her tightly, letting her press her forehead to my shoulder. — Ah, your glow makes me so happy... — Mom said softly, still smiling. — Keep shining, sweetheart. You make me so proud... I'm so glad you're in my life... I love you.

— I love you too! — I smiled in return, nuzzling her soft hair with my nose and lips. — I love you all... thank you.

At last, I slipped from her gentle embrace and ran out of the room, eager to see Fukase.

After I'd opened up about my feelings, conversations like this had become normal in our family... we always told each other how much we loved one another now. It still felt a little awkward, but it was nice — I no longer felt like the odd one out in the family... Now I felt just as loved as everyone else. Our family had once been a bit broken, keeping silent about what we felt, but now that was gone. We'd spoken about the hardest things — and now we stayed silent about nothing.

And it was him, the one standing before me now, who helped me finally speak about it!

The moment I saw Fukase, I ran straight into his arms and hugged him tightly. I loved hugging him more than anyone else, and he felt the same — so whenever we met, we would immediately wrap each other in an embrace, paying no attention to anyone around. Let them think what they want — this is my life, and I want to be happy!

— Good evening! — Fukase exclaimed, laughing as I threw my arms around him. — I came to invite you to...

— Yes! Yes, I agree! — I replied, cutting him off before he could finish. — Yay, I haven't slept over at your place in so long!

Fukase laughed again, then, glancing around, gently kissed my hand, squeezed it tight, and dragged me out of the house, with James fluttering after us. I probably should've taken at least my pajamas, but Fukase would lend me one of his. Even though he usually wore the same things, his wardrobe was full — especially lately, since he'd stopped being shy about his love for fancy clothes. He still got embarrassed at the idea of seeming like a girl who buys tons of outfits, so he mostly stuck to wearing the same few things.

Fukase had told me that he had spoken more honestly with Asterian and Flower about his interests and feelings — not just a casual "I like skirts"... They'd accepted him before, but when they saw how much it truly meant to him, they started supporting him even more, defending him, never letting anyone speak poorly about Fukase's passion. Asterian even once took Fukase to a well-known designer in our town, where Fukase showed him his clothing designs. The designer said Kasie had great potential and offered him a spot at a private art academy, where he himself was a teacher.
Looks like Fukase won't be able to brag about being a self-taught student anymore — he said yes to the offer, ha-ha!

The great thing is that his academy is located not far from my future private school, so we might even get to see each other during breaks!

— By the way... — Fukase started as we approached his house. Of course, we hadn't been silent the whole walk — we chatted about all sorts of things. — If Asterian acts weird... just ignore him.

— Weird? What do you mean? — I asked as we stepped onto the property.

— Well, like... he might drop some hints or tease us or something, ha-ha, you know, that kind of thing! — the boy said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly as he opened the door for me.

Still unsure why Fukase was even bringing this up, I stepped inside, taking off my shoes — they were clean anyway, since the streets in our town were clean — but I just followed Kase's lead. From the nearby living room, I heard footsteps approaching. Heavy, masculine steps — unsurprisingly, they belonged to Asterian.

He appeared in the hallway as we came in — dark-skinned, incredibly tall, even taller than my father, with long hair and a beard. He was dressed in casual clothes, but the gold jewelry in his dreadlocks clearly showed he wasn't struggling financially — though that was obvious from the house alone. Asterian was a very kind man, but his appearance always intimidated me a bit, and I'd always hide slightly behind Fukase when speaking to him. He was holding a small box — one he usually kept in the living room and filled with treats.

— Oh, good evening, Oliver! — the man smiled brightly, waving at me. He must've seen us through the window. — I'm glad you agreed to come!

— I'm always happy to, ha-ha! — I smiled back as he approached.

— Thank you. Fukase's always so happy when you're around! And I love it when he's happy! — After saying that, Asterian gave Fukase a rough pat on the head, making him laugh and blush. — I've got guests over right now, so better stay out of the living room — here, take some treats and head to the room!

He handed the box to Fukase, then looked around as if checking no one was listening in. He turned back to me, leaned down, tapped the tip of my nose with his finger, and whispered:

— Thank you for everything, kiddo. If anything happens — I'll always be here to support you two, so don't be shy to ask for help!

Then Asterian straightened up, tapped James with a finger (who was perched on my shoulder), waved goodbye with a laugh, and disappeared back toward the living room.
Fukase grabbed my hand tightly and hurriedly pulled me toward the stairs, as if trying to hide us away in his room as fast as possible — but my questions couldn't wait until we got there:

— D-did you... you told him that we're, you know... — I hesitated, then continued once I glanced around. — Told him we love each other?

— It...! It slipped out! — Kasie blurted, clearly embarrassed and avoiding my gaze like he was too shy to let me see his blush. — I actually... I told him everything!

— What do you mean everything?! Like...

— Everything! I even showed him a couple of spells, can you believe that?! He thought I'd lost my mind, and then I think he lost his mind from what he saw, ha-ha! — Kase replied nervously, clearly embarrassed at how recklessly he'd acted — especially considering Asterian was a believer in God.

— But why did you tell him about us?!

— Well, it just... I told him about magic, and he said that no matter what, he wouldn't turn his back on me and all that. So I jokingly said like, "What if I fall in love with a boy?" and he said it's better to love than to be like him — and then I just kinda... couldn't hold it in and told him everything! I told him how you helped me accept myself... and he accepted it all... he promised not to tell anyone, don't worry!

I went quiet for a moment, unsure how to react to such reckless behavior. We had agreed not to tell anyone — it was dangerous, anyone who found out could separate us!

— Promised just like you promised me? — I asked dryly, giving Kase a light slap on the shoulder.

— That was different! I'm sorry! It just happened, I didn't mean to! — Kase hugged me, pressing his lips to my shoulder. — Come on, don't be mad! He didn't get angry, it's all fine!

After that conversation, Fuka shoved me into the room and closed the door behind us. We ended up in his cozy little room — it wasn't big, but it felt warm and comfortable thanks to the color of the curtains: the sunlight created a soft, golden glow. On the shelves of his cabinets were plush toys, books, sheets of paper, pencils, and pens; in the other cabinets — clothes. Fuka was a bit messy, so the wardrobe was left open, and a few items had fallen onto the floor.

Fukase suddenly pushed me in the back, making me fall onto his soft bed near the window, causing James to flap into the air and land on the windowsill, from where he began to watch us. I landed face-first into one of the fluffy pillows, and then Fukase flopped down on top of me, making me let out a silent yelp of pain — he had accidentally hit my shoulder with his elbow. Fuka immediately began apologizing, laughing, but I didn't react, pretending to have been slain by his bony, brutal elbow. Fukase brought his face close to mine, nudged my cheek with his nose, and then suddenly bit into it, starting to tug.

— Hey, what are you doing?! — I exclaimed, jerking and throwing Kase off the bed.

The boy crashed to the floor with a loud thump, still laughing, bright and without a hint of offense.

— You're so mean, Oli! — Kase laughed, climbing back into the bed and lying down beside me. — And so cute...! I love you!

— I love you too, he-he! But... let's get to the point: why did you invite me for a sleepover? — I asked, sitting up in bed.

— Ah, how unromantic! — Fuka grumbled in mock offense, opening the box of sweets and pulling out some soft bun with white cream inside. He pressed it to his lips and took a small bite, as if too shy to eat more. — Well... actually, there is something. I noticed the drawing vanished from my arm — you used the last activation.

— Ha-h, so what? You want to go there again? Sure, it's beautiful now, lots of stuff appeared, but isn't it getting old?

— No, no, I don't want that... — Kase shook his head, stuffing half the bun into my mouth like he was trying to shut me up. — I want to go to our shared dream world tonight!

With the bun still in my mouth, I looked at him, confused. A shared dream world? What was that supposed to be? If a dream world was someone's subconscious, then this... was it a shared subconscious? That sounded weird — a subconscious can't belong to two people, can it?

— What are you talking about? — I asked, taking the bun into my hand and pulling it from my mouth. — Shared dream world? How does that work?

— It's when the consciousness of two people intertwines! It can only be done through magic, unlike the usual "worlds" — this one doesn't exist from the start! It's created through a ritual! That's why I invited you for a sleepover — you can only "merge minds" while being close. — Kase said with a smile, looking at me with excitement, like he desperately wanted to enter this shared subconscious. — I've never had that with anyone before! I really, really want it!

Fukase scooted closer and, placing one hand on my neck, kissed me gently on the lips — like he wanted to show he was completely serious right now.

— Ple-e-ease! — Fuka said, pulling back a little, looking at me with hope.

— Um... well... alright...? — I started, a bit uncertain, but continued more confidently. — Yeah... Yeah, of course, let's do it! It... it sounds interesting!

Fukase immediately started bouncing in place, hugging me and making strange happy noises. Then he suddenly pushed away and fell off the bed again, after which he got up and walked to the wardrobe, starting to pick out some soft nightgowns. Pulling out two, he tossed one to me and kept the other for himself. It turned out to be a simple pajama...

— It's a sleepover after all, isn't it? And you can't sleep in street clothes, so get changed, I'll change in the bathroom! — Kase said with a pleased smile before darting out of the room, leaving me alone.

I thought about it for a bit, but then decided to change into the pajamas before Fukase came back. Stripping down to my underwear, I put on the cute pajamas... they were slightly bluish, comfortable — the fabric was soft and good quality, and the length reached past my knees. Having changed, I started eating the soft, sweet bun while waiting for Fukase, glancing at James as I did.

Soon, Fukase returned to the room, already dressed in a very similar nightgown, though his was slightly greenish and had a cute bow at the collar. The moment he closed the door, he lunged at me, wanting to trap me in his arms again, but I was already tired from such intense affection.

— That's eno-o-ough! — I whined, trying to push away the wildly emotional boy. — Do your ritual already!

— Oh, how rude you are, Oliver! — Kase grumbled playfully, flopping his head onto my knees. — What if we get married — what will you do then?

— We won't get married...

— Eh?! Why not? Don't you love me?!

— We're boys, Fukase... sometimes you have to be rational, ha-ha! — I knocked him lightly on the temple with my knuckles, and he suddenly sulked and turned away, clearly unhappy with my desire not to break rules that could easily land you in a psychiatric ward. — Oh, come on now! We'll get married in spirit!

— In spirit? — Fukase repeated, turning back to me with sparkling eyes, looking at me like a puppy eager to catch a stick. — Really? We can get married in spirit? In our Dream world?!

— Ha-ha, yeah, if you want! Who's gonna know?

Fukase clearly lit up, started shaking me around, and then grabbed from the nightstand that familiar little jar of golden paint, a brush, and some golden thread — thin, but it looked strong. And once again, our ritual repeated: he drew the same intricate design on my arm, and then, to my surprise, asked me to draw the same one on him... which made sense. If before the pattern was drawn on the person whose subconscious was being entered, now, as we were merging our subconscious minds, it needed to be on both of us.

After finishing the drawing part of the ritual, Fukase took the thread and, where the drawings were, tied the ends together — as if binding us. The thread began to glow, like fireflies in the night, but soon settled down.

— All done! — Kase said with a smile, pulling gently on the thread like he was testing how tight the knot was. — Now it's time to sleep!

— Just like that? — I asked, wondering if the thread might break if I turned over in my sleep or something.

Fukase just hummed, then jumped on top of me and pressed my head into the pillow, before lying beside me and wrapping his arms around me gently.

— Good night! — the boy squeaked happily, kissing me on the cheek before closing his eyes.

— A...! Y-yeah... yeah... see you... — I muttered awkwardly, still looking around the room, trying to distract myself from this strange, flustering, and even intimate time together.

I heard his soft breathing by my ear, gentle and almost cat-like. Fukase was like a kitten... though maybe more like a fox. Asterian had the face of a cat — always kind and content, like a kitten — and Fukase had the same, but with a slight sharpness, a bit of mischief. But he was still cute... so very cute...

Thinking about how adorable this boy was, listening to his soft breathing near my ear, I soon drifted off into a light, gentle sleep...

I woke up... Above me stretched a tall ceiling, from which long clusters of lilac wisteria hung gently. There were so many of them, they nearly touched the headboard of the bed, intertwined with scattered bright patches of forget-me-nots. The petals swayed softly, as if stirred by an invisible wind, though the room itself was filled with a surprising stillness.

I sat up in bed. It was incredibly soft, covered with a thin lavender blanket embroidered with silvery stars. When I looked up, I froze — among the flowers on the ceiling were tiny glowing stars. Some of them detached from the petals and drifted slowly downward, trembling and voluminous, like little lanterns.

That's when I noticed, by the wall, a graceful mirror in a twisted silver frame, and I looked at my reflection... I was wearing a light azure cloak with fine golden embroidery along the edges and scattered stars, as if a piece of the night sky had fallen over my shoulders. Underneath — a simple light shirt and a yellow ribbon tie lazily hanging over my chest. The pants were a bit short, just above the ankles, and my feet were bare... The tips of my hair were blue-green, which looked unusual, and on top of my head were large forget-me-not flowers. There weren't many of them, but they were noticeable, with green stems and petals hanging down from them.

After I finished looking myself over, I returned to examining the room. It was spacious, yet cozy. To my right stood an elegant mirror in a thin twisted frame, reflecting me — the same me, but... with a certain special light in my eyes. A bit further, in the corner of the room, stood a small piano with a matte black surface. It looked as though it had long become part of this place, as if it had grown directly out of the wall. From the top of the piano grew a snow-white rose — straight and tall, with large petals, and it looked completely alive, despite the lack of soil beneath it.

Drawings hung on the walls, and between them were sheets with lines of lyrics stuck up. On some of the shelves lay toys — the ones sewn by Morta and Maika. I immediately noticed the one lying by the piano — the same one I used to fall asleep with in Hio's room.

Next to the bed was a huge window with ornate frames, as if forged from thin silver. Beyond the glass stretched low wisteria trees with forget-me-nots intertwined among their blooming branches. The sight made my heart feel light and warm. The sky was night, yet still quite bright, and the stars within it remained clearly visible...

Farther out, past the trees, stretched green meadows, and beyond them — water. It was shallow near the shore but stretched far into the distance, and trees were visible beyond it. The water shimmered with soft blue hues, as if reflecting those very glowing stars fluttering here, in the room.

I breathed in deeply the sweet, slightly cool air, filled with the scent of flowers. It was fresh and pleasant here... in this room... It felt like a room from a palace, and I wanted to know if this really was a castle. And where was Fukase, if this world was our shared one?

I didn't immediately dare to leave this beautiful room. My heart still trembled a little with excitement, as if I was still on the edge between dream and reality. But curiosity, as always, won. Gently sliding off the bed, I walked to the door, reached for the thin silvery handle, and it opened softly, as if it had long been waiting for that touch.

Beyond the threshold stretched a corridor bathed in soft light, coming from the same tiny glowing stars that floated in my room. Tall columns along the walls were entwined with garlands of flowers — not only wisteria ruled here, but also lush pink blossoms I hadn't noticed before. They cascaded from the very tops of the columns, their petals shimmering as if made from the thinnest glass.

— Fukase? — I called into the emptiness, almost a whisper. My voice echoed gently off the walls, dissolving somewhere in the distance.

The silence was oddly cozy, as if the castle itself was breathing this calm. I took a few more steps across the carpet — soft and velvety under my bare feet — and called again:

— Fukase...?

No answer. I kept walking, peering carefully into the spaces between the columns. And that's when I saw it: on one of the columns, among the pink flowers, sat a translucent butterfly. It shimmered with a faint golden light, as if woven from morning sunlight and drops of dew.

I froze, eyes fixed on it. The butterfly, as if sensing my interest, slowly rose into the air and floated ahead, leaving a delicate glowing trail behind.

— Wait... — I whispered softly, not even sure who I was speaking to.

And, of course, I followed it. Stepping carefully so as not to scare away this miracle, I followed its unhurried flight. It led me down the corridor, then down the wide steps of a marble staircase that curved around a tall hall with stained glass windows.

At last, the butterfly landed right on one of the massive doors. It looked almost exactly like the one that led to my room — with elegant carvings, ornate frames, and smoothly intertwining lines that resembled musical notes.

I came closer. The butterfly gently dissolved into the air right at the keyhole, leaving behind a tiny glowing swirl that soon vanished as well. I carefully placed my palm on the door and felt the wood warm under my fingers.

— Fukase? — I called again, a bit louder this time.

No sound in response. Only my own reflection in the shiny surface of the doorknob stared back at me questioningly and a little confused.

I took a deep breath and pulled the door toward me...

As I opened the door, I caught a faint scent of cherry — delicate, floral, almost weightless. The room beyond was bathed in soft pink light filtering through sheer curtains, behind which swayed the branches of pink trees, their blossoms like cherry flowers in full bloom.

And there, by a large mirror in an elegant golden frame, sat Fukase. With a focused expression, he was carefully applying mascara, head tilted slightly. His movements were smooth and graceful...

I froze in the doorway, not daring to disturb this nearly magical scene. But the moment I took a step inside, he noticed me in the reflection.

Fukase's face instantly lit up with a smile. He jumped to his feet and, without hesitation, rushed to me, spinning around right in the middle of the room.

— Oliver! You're awake! — his voice rang out like the happiest melody, and I couldn't help but laugh.

I stepped back to get a better look at him — and froze involuntarily.

He was wearing a light milky blouse with a lacy collar and a huge crimson bow that rested on his chest like a flower. Over his shoulders was a strange but beautiful pink cape shaped like butterfly wings. A long peach-colored skirt, embroidered with flowers at the hem, gently flowed down to his ankles, swaying slightly with each movement. Around his waist was a thin greenish-brown ribbon that emphasized his slender figure.

On his red, slightly tousled hair — yellow at the ends, just like in Fukase's dream world — sat a wreath of fresh flowers, and his blushing cheeks made him look even brighter.

I suddenly caught myself thinking that he looked... like a bride in the most beautiful wedding dress. Innocent, radiant, and so... perfect. That thought made my heart skip a beat, and my cheeks flushed red.

— You... you look just... — I faltered, staring at him in awe. — Incredible, Kasie... You're beautiful!

Fukase laughed joyfully, his eyes sparkling as if he'd been waiting to hear exactly that.

— Really? — he asked, shining even brighter. — I'm so glad...

Fukase threw himself into my arms and hugged me tightly, pressing against my chest, and I rested my chin on the top of his head. As he held me, my gaze wandered across the room. It was practically breathing with creativity. Along the walls stood mannequins made of thin dark branches, dressed in gowns — some finished, luxurious and elegant, others still in progress, adorned with ribbons and pinned pieces of fabric.

Bolts of fabric lay scattered everywhere — velvet, sheer silks, the thinnest cloths shimmering like glassy water. From the ceiling hung long clusters of pink flowers, swaying gently in an unseen breeze. The light pouring through the windows scattered over them in pink and amber glimmers.

— Your room is so beautiful, — I whispered in awe, releasing the boy and carefully touching the hem of one of the dresses. — It's as beautiful as you are...

Fukase laughed, looked away shyly, and took my hand, pressing my palm to his cheek.

I looked toward the window... Beyond the glass stretched endless green meadows, across which lay a sheet of still water. Pink trees bloomed everywhere, their petals slowly swirling in the air like a spring snowfall. Unlike the view from my window — here, it wasn't night, but rather day, though the sky was painted in soft hues, as if drawn in watercolor...

— This is our world, Oli... — Fukase whispered quietly, hugging me from behind and pressing his forehead to my shoulder. — Here, you can be whoever you want. And no one can take that away from us.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

— Yeah... — I whispered softly, still watching the scenery outside. — It's incredible... and I like that it's just the two of us here...

Fukase laughed right by my ear — quietly, happily... the way he only did when he was truly free.

— Let's go! — he said suddenly, pulling away from me and squeezing my hand tighter. There was a quiet but determined resolve in his voice. — We need to go to the tree. I... I want to do something there with you!

— To the tree? — I asked in surprise. — Like those big trees in our personal dream worlds? There's one here too?

— Yep! While I was waiting for my prince... — he leaned toward me and winked. — I found it!

We left the room, setting off to find the way out of the castle. Step by step we walked through both familiar and new corridors, descended stairs, passed halls filled with light and flowers — and finally stepped outside, and I couldn't help but hold my breath.

Before us stretched endless green fields. All across the land, like a carpet, bloomed bright flowers — from tiny forget-me-nots to large buds swaying gently in the breeze. The air was clean and sweet, filled with the scents of grass and blossoms, and a light wind played with my hair. The sky was divided into two — night and day — but the gradient between them was soft and gentle...

And ahead, in the distance, it stood — the tree. Grand, magical even, as if grown from our very souls... which, in a way, it was. Its crown shimmered with countless shades — soft pink, blue, green, and violet branches blended into a single symphony of color, and among them sparkled golden flecks, like captured bits of light between the petals. Rare clusters of wisteria hung between the branches, swaying gently like delicate lanterns, and the whole place smelled of cherries...

— There it is! — said Fukase, and at that moment he once again reminded me of a child eager to share his most precious treasure.

He squeezed my hand tighter and pulled me forward, nearly running, his bare feet pressing into the soft, warm grass, which soon dipped into shallow water — and we kept walking through the submerged field, which felt nice... especially since water no longer scared me...

We ran up to the tree and stopped right beneath its crown. Petals swirled in the air, golden sparks reflected in Fukase's eyes. He turned to me, flushed and glowing.

— Well? — he asked, slightly out of breath. — What do you think?

I couldn't answer right away. I simply stood there and looked up at the incredible colorful canopy above us, how it breathed... It was the embodiment of us both, the merging of our souls. I was so glad Fukase had decided to open himself to me, to show me his magic.

— It's... magical! — I breathed. — It's so beautiful... like a fusion of the trees from both of our dream worlds!

Fukase didn't say anything — he just stepped closer and hugged me, tightly, with his whole body, his whole warmth. We stood under that tree made of our souls, and I felt safe and calm.

Suddenly, a familiar chirp sounded by my ear. I flinched, then looked up — James had silently landed on my head. He settled right on my hair, clinging gently to a few stray strands, and gave a dignified little nod. Around his neck hung a forget-me-not flower, and in his beak he held something tiny and shiny.

— James? What do you have there? — I asked softly, carefully reaching out my hand.

The goldfinch gently placed into my palm a miniature ring — green, thin, adorned with a tiny flower instead of a gemstone, though it sparkled like one. It was so small it looked like a toy, and yet... it felt deeply meaningful.

James chirped shortly, nudged my cheek with his tiny warm beak, then fluttered down to the tree roots. He settled right on the soft grass, folding his feet beneath him and watching us intently.

I clenched the ring in my hand, feeling my heart begin to race.

And then, from behind the tree trunk, Point suddenly peeked out. Around his neck was a neatly fastened bowtie, and in his little hands he held a tiny ring too — exactly like mine, but the gem on my ring was pink, while his was violet.

Point quickly approached Fukase, stood in front of him, and held out the ring. Fukase, as if ready for this, took the gift gently, with a wide, sincere smile.

— I love you, Oliver... — Fukase began, but his voice trembled. He stepped forward, placed his ring into my hand alongside mine, and continued quietly: — We may never have real rings... no one may ever know about this... but for me — this is a real engagement.

I stared down at the little rings in my palm, heart pounding as I tried to understand what was happening. Finally, lifting my gaze, I saw Fukase standing close now, his face glowing with nervous joy. He gently placed a hand on my cheek, and that soft, trembling smile appeared on his lips — the one that always took my breath away.

— Oliver... — he whispered almost inaudibly, leaning in, and his lips brushed mine in a light, shy kiss.

I froze. My face flushed so hard it felt like I might start glowing myself, like those golden sparks floating around us. And Fukase, noticing my flustered state, suddenly looked at me with the most serious expression and said, almost ceremonially:

— Oliver... Let's get married.

I blinked, wondering if I'd heard him right.

— W-what?! — I nearly shouted and... burst out laughing. I laughed so freely, so brightly, that even the butterflies in the flowers above us twirled and scattered in all directions. Fukase stared at me in shock, his cheeks flaming red. We'd talked about this before falling asleep — but I thought it was just some silly, romantic joke!

— D-don't laugh! — he flailed his arms, stumbling over his words and snatching the ring back from my hand in mock offense. — I... I didn't mean it! I mean... it's just... a spiritual marriage! Deep inside... in the depths of our souls! It's not a real marriage, it's just... just a joining of our souls, you get it? Right here in this world... — he rattled on, completely red and hiding his face in his hands.

Still giggling, I looked at him and shook my head.

— You're so ridiculous, Kase... but so sweet... — I said warmly, stepping closer. — Alright then, if it's only in the depths of our souls... And if no one will ever know about it... — I held out my hand to him and smiled. — I agree!

Fukase lit up so brightly it felt like the sun had suddenly burst from his smile. He carefully took one of the rings and, with a deep solemnity, slipped it onto my finger as if performing a real ceremony. I did the same, gently placing the tiny green ring on his slender finger.

We stood beneath that wondrous tree, flustered but happy, looking at each other with quiet tenderness. Then I leaned in, brushed my lips against his cheek, and pulled him into an embrace, holding him close.

— I'll never forget what you've done for me, Fukase, — I whispered into his ear. — Never. I love you... more than anyone... I'll always be with you. You're a part of my soul...

Fukase whispered the same in return, holding me tighter, then took my hand — our fingers laced together, and our rings touched softly, as if sealing a silent promise.

We lay down right there, at the roots of that great tree, on the warm grass, beneath the colorful canopy of petals. James and Point sat nearby, as if they too were witnesses to this small, innocent vow. We said nothing, simply enjoying the breeze, the fragrance of flowers, and the warmth of each other's hands.

In that moment, it felt like time no longer existed. There was only us — two boys, bound by the most sincere, pure, and beautiful love, one no one else needed to know about... except us.

The End

Chapter Text

Hello! And so, the end of this little story has finally come! We really hope you enjoyed reading it — we hope you cried and suffered along the way!

As always, we'd like to show you some character references and other fun stuff! We also wanted to explain the symbolism behind some things — even though it's probably pretty obvious. Please, take a look!

Fukase, our sweet and dazzling boy

Oliver, our depressed, traumatized, suffering poor orphan.

Hio, because we just want to show him — we love Hio, Hio is the best, and we hope he keeps dying and dying in many more of our stories, he’s just that awesome! Po… Popo… Popopo, oh, Popopo…

Hio… but evil >:[

And here are the character designs. In the illustrations, some were slightly altered, but not by much

Yo, thanks for reading!

Anyway, we want to tell you something… We got accepted into an academy! We will study illustration and other stuff — it’s a completely different style of learning, and we’re not sure how active we’ll be in writing and drawing. In school, many teachers (whose subjects we didn’t take exams in) didn’t really care what we did, so we could just pull out a phone or tablet in class and start writing/drawing — but now that won’t be possible…

Also, tuition is €6000, so it would really suck if we got expelled, which means we need to work hard. This is also a big source of stress for us because we have trouble communicating with people, and now we’ll have to meet new teachers and students — which is scary, especially considering that our Lithuanian language skills is still not great…

So, sorry if we’re not very active… but we promise (we hope :D) that there will be a Christmas fanfic! We already have the plot and characters planned, and it will feature Oliver and Hio, yeah-yeah!!

We just wanted to give you a heads-up, because you’re very important to us — your comments really motivate and make us happy! Thank you so much, bye! ❤️